The Yak - Steven Cheah's Reign Has Only Just Begun | The Yak 5-18-23
Episode Date: May 18, 2023Smartfood does not make you smarterYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barsto...olyak
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hold that up.
Probably not what you expected, Stephen Che.
The only person here on the Yak right now.
You probably saw, if you are a sports fan at all, Adam Schefter tweet notifications on i've been promoted to the vp of football operations my first order business
clean house so big cat brandon brandon was the first to go actually uh kate kb nick sass all of
them fired this is new barstool you can say that that we've changed, but we really haven't.
Once I get just an inch of power,
I'm going to exercise it.
I'm sorry.
This is going to be a great show.
We got a lot planned.
I think the tipping point was really the pet egg challenge.
The pet egg relay race.
Obviously,
everyone's not fired.
Everyone has their tip in the rundown.
Big cat's a few minutes late.
Nick,
Rone,
a couple minutes late, et cetera. So I'm kicking rundown right now. Big Cat's a few minutes late. Nick Rohn, a couple minutes
late, etc. So I'm kicking us off right here. That's what the VP of Football Operations does.
So the Pet Egg Relay Race. This came up on the Name Wheel, I believe, two shows ago. I ordered
it on Amazon. For those that are not familiar, this is a pet egg. What it is, so I had an
experience, and I briefly touched on this the other day. What you do with this is this is a pet egg what it is so i had an experience and i briefly touched on this
the other day what you do with this is this is a essentially a cheese grater for your foot
with dead skin so you're supposed to file it for smooth beautiful feet so you're supposed to
basically file the bottom of your foot and with the cheese grater and then basically the dead skin follicles particles whatever you
want to call it fall into this egg shaped thing so this was a big uh made for tv or as seen on tv
item maybe like 10 years ago and my girlfriend that time actually ordered it and i tried using it. So here's a TJ, if you can give a nice zoom, this is kind of what I had
intended. The dead skin will go into the egg. It's not going to be this much for a single person.
It's really not that bad. Um, but the idea is we're going to split up into two teams.
We're all going to kind of file our feet down. I think we should set a timer for this. Cause I
don't want anyone actually shaving so much their foot that they get hurt uh maybe like five minutes ten minutes something
like that per team we put the accumulated dead skin in a cup or something to basically measure
the two teams against and the team with the least amount of dead skin will then go on a wheel. Oh, is it just you?
Yeah.
Everyone else said no?
Yeah.
I fired everyone as VP of football.
It was my first order of business.
Wait, how long have you been live for?
Two minutes, three minutes.
Is everyone not showing up because of this?
Well, we're discussing it.
I was not showing up because I had an interview to do,
and I was finishing up an interview.
That's very funny.
So no one showed up?
No, I fired everyone.
First order of business, clean house.
But no one was in the studio?
They were taping Brandon, Roan, and Kate were all taping the rundown.
Oh.
Nick is going to be late separately.
Okay, okay.
All right, here's where everybody is.
That's funny.
We were doing the rundown, the three of us.
I just walked in because I was finishing up an interview with Sean Evans
and literally walked in and no one was here.
We were doing the rundown.
I think Nick and KB are doing scumbag golf with Mark.
Got it.
Oh, shit.
Me, Kate, and Roan did the rundown just now.
I thought everyone was protesting Che's little pet egg thing.
Well, no, I didn't think that.
I thought about protesting
one thing so yesterday when schaefter dropped the bomb okay and then i saw i thought it was funny
how cute big cat got schaefter to do something for che yeah yeah and then i started reading
signed a three-year deal but it looked like you got a promotion to being above us in the football
space you're the vp of football operations yeah he did he actually is not if you
look at the paperwork that's not okay all right oh no if you look at the paperwork that is the
case you're the vp of football operations correct what about why didn't you say pro football
operations because you're not gonna boss me around in the college football space uh he is now yeah
now i actually agree with it i knew you would close that billy thank you kate will be directly
i walked in here it was just jay i thought everyone was
protesting how are you doing shay doing great on top of the world honestly yeah i'm hosting the
show it was two and a half minutes i think i was i was explaining the pedig the pedig relay race
yeah go ahead no you go ahead no the why are we doing the pedig thing we're not on the name wheel
we're gonna do it during the 20 12 hour stream i wonder where we dump everything that we do yes it's like our that's our waste fill i wanted to have almost
exclusively good things but you guys said mixing a couple bad and this was i don't think anybody
really the pet egg why don't you relay between your two feet yeah which one's dirtier? It's going to be the same.
No, I mean, this is meant to be a competitive thing.
It's really not that bad.
When we initially thought, when Nick laid out
the rules the other day, we discussed
putting the remnants in the smoothies.
That's really gross.
If you blow it into your face, it's going
to be in your face for a second, and then it'll be over.
I don't know why, to you,
that doesn't seem like such a bad thing.
Because I've done it before.
To me, that seems...
I've literally done it before.
It seems like a terrible thing.
It's gross.
Yeah.
But, I mean, a lot of the stuff we do on the show is gross.
That's also good counterpoint.
Good counterpoint.
I piss my pants, like, right here.
Yeah, good counterpoint.
Notice none of the Cabo boys are here.
Hmm.
I wonder if they're off on a journey
right now or... Kava kind of fucked me
up a little bit. What was it like? I don't
know. My mouth just... I couldn't feel
my mouth for a solid
like hour. You feel your mouth now?
I feel my mouth now. Was it...
Did it feel like drugs? A little bit.
Like a little buzz.
Ron, you trying to get on the Kava train?
Is there a leftover?
Order more. Did anybody hear from Sass today? I just realized he didn't respond in the...
He was the only one that had the punch in the face, right?
I think Kava took him out.
Yeah, Kava, he's laying in an alley dead.
I talked to him. I knew he wasn't going to
be here today. I think he's on the road.
Oh, okay, okay. Where's he going?
I'm sure he's got dates
somewhere. I got a son of a boy that I guess later on that he will not be here for.
The dude I rap battled against.
Dumbfounded.
You're going to say Sharon.
Because if it was Sharon, it would be hands on site.
When I went to that rap battle, Sharon's girlfriend confronted me about making fun of her in the rap battle.
She's like, why did you say that?
I was like, I was in a rap battle.
Yeah, shut up.
I mean, I apologize, but.
Like asking, like, why did you concuss someone on a football field?
Why did you punch him?
Yeah.
Why did you tackle him?
Yeah.
Why did you knock out my boyfriend?
I was trying to be mean.
I was being mean on purpose.
That's a fair question for Vontaze Perfect.
Yeah, that is true.
So, Steven, yeah, you got your promotion, Schefter.
I did not ask Schefter to do that.
I know.
He did it on his own.
I called you almost immediately after I saw because it did have your fingerprints on it.
Are you being for real?
I'm being honest.
I'll actually show you.
You understand why we thought you did it.
I'll show you my text message to Schefter.
I texted him after, and I said, you just made Stephen Chay's life.
So he did that on his own volition.
Wow.
Yeah, because I wouldn't – that's a weird ask to text someone and be like,
can you tweet about Stephen Chay's hiring?
Yeah.
There was a lot of responses being like, who?
Who gives a fuck?
If I'm being honest, I did think about, I was like, this would be a really cool favor to call in.
Because he does tweet about organizations' promotions to people that get promoted to VP of football operations.
Yes.
And then I was like, you know what?
You're not VP of football operations.
Literally my contract says I am.
How did you get that through?
Do you want the real story?
What does that mean?
We'll get that. I'm going to get that stricken from the record no so um i am going to chicago and in that
i'm taking on in in additional business responsibility i do something right now with
big cat and sell blue right now i'm basically going to do a a project management type thing
working with hank it's going to be pretty light it'll be one meeting a day about half hour a day for a week you know every day so in that vp worthy
he's doing a bad job of explaining it steven that wanted to move to chicago he told me a number
i told erica erica was like well that's a a bigger number than just a content person and she's like
can we add some responsibilities because he's very good detail oriented uh with follow-through and everything i said yes he
absolutely can do that so he has added responsibilities yes so my only ask in that
meeting was can i name my title and she said okay i mean what do you want your title to be
and i said vp of football operations you just put yourself over everybody who talks football here
yeah no he's vice president pretty brilliant i will change my title to president okay it's fine said VP of football operations. You just put yourself over everybody who talks football here.
Yeah.
No, he's vice president.
Pretty brilliant.
I will change my title to president.
Okay.
That's fine.
Yeah. And you can be CEO.
Okay, good.
Football operations.
Thank you.
You can all have-
Like lots of presidents.
There's multiple vice presidents.
I'd also like to be-
Elevate everyone to president.
He's now back on the bottom.
Also, at least be another vice president of football operations.
No, you can be president.
Okay.
Make everyone president. He'll be vice president. All right. The only vice president. Hey, you want to vice president of the football operation. No, you can be president. Okay. Make everyone president.
He'll be vice president.
All right.
The only vice president.
Hey, you want to be president of the football operation?
I want to be like dictator of military chatting.
Yeah.
Something like that.
Chancellor.
Yeah, chancellor.
When I asked her that, she was a little bit taken aback, and she was like-
Oh, shit.
You're a weirdo, Steven.
You think that's cool with that?
I asked you in the kitchen one day, and you're like, I love it.
Wait, hold on.
Time.
Wait, what?
You came up with the title VP of Football Operations.
You asked me?
I did, yeah.
That's not fair.
You can't ask me something in the kitchen.
When I'm eating food.
His guard was down.
When I'm around food, that's not.
You weren't eating.
That's like having a guy buy a car when he's drunk.
You can't do that.
Yeah.
No, that legally doesn't stand up in court.
Paul from legal as a countersend document.
Anything that's asked of me in the kitchen does not count.
Did you have a spreadsheet where you came up with multiple title ideas?
No, that was it.
That was it?
One of one, yep.
That was the one I wanted the whole time.
Jesus Christ.
Are you low-key trying to, like, parasite your way into getting an actual job with the NFL office because you can just show the,
like, it says on your LinkedIn
that you were VP of football operations?
No, no.
I did manifest the title senior draft analyst.
I'd say the exact same way.
And then you got demoted.
Yeah.
What are our football operations at Barstool Sports?
Everything football related.
Everything?
Everything.
Yeah.
Fantasy football fall under your purview?
Of course.
Video game football, would Doug's fall under your purview?
Yeah, I think I am.
So Doug's reports to you?
What about chocolate footballs for everyone?
Are we talking about the real Coach Doug's or the video game?
The video game Coach Doug's. Video game Coach Doug's. What about chocolate footballs for everyone? Are we talking about the real Coach Duggs or the video game? The video game Coach Duggs.
Video game Coach Duggs.
What about chocolate footballs for everyone?
Will you make sure everyone gets a piece?
Was it just for Frank?
Yeah.
That's a good point.
I mean, the origin of the chocolate football is going to be in New York still.
Right, but what if he comes?
I assume Frank will come for the occasional stream.
If he brings a chocolate football and I'm sitting there like, I got
no chocolate football, whose head is going to roll?
Yours?
That's fair.
Yeah.
That's going to be me.
What if right now we decided we rolled up some paper into a football and started flicking
it as a contest?
Would that be under your regular?
By the letter of the law, it would.
Groups, expressions?
Yeah.
Oh, good point.
That's a good question.
I mean, that's football, technically?
No, that's football.
No, it's football in most of the world.
No, football with a U.
Oh, it's football in most of the world.
With their feet.
Did they say football in England?
They don't say football in England.
I don't know.
I've only been there once.
I didn't go to any soccer matches.
I was saying countries where it's spelled F-O-O-T-B-A-L.
That's you.
Yeah, I think Kate's right.
They're not all of football, but a good chunk.
What if someone were to run onto an NFL field during a game naked and got arrested?
That's you?
You have to bail them out.
A Barstool employee did that.
I would have to arrest them.
You would have to arrest them.
That makes sense. You're a police officer. You're employee did that. I would have to arrest them. You would have to arrest them. That makes sense.
You're a police officer. Not a cop.
No, he is. If it happens on a football field,
I have some... Ladies and gentlemen,
this is how Hitler started.
A man drunk with power
given a title, and
oh my God, where will it end up?
All I'm saying is if I go to do
the college football show on a Saturday, and I
do something, I say a word or something,
and I come home to an email from Stephen Che, I'm going to be pissed.
Yeah.
You should start finding people.
It depends what words you say, honestly.
When another podcast is canceled, I'll do it like that.
Oh.
Yeah, I'm going to have to talk to Eric.
This is too much.
This is already.
Way too much power for one man to have.
Brandon, I have a meeting to say that is a very handsome shirt you're wearing.
Is that a robot?
It is.
It's a beautiful color, honestly.
You were hosting the show for two and a half minutes,
and you didn't do the robot ad off the top?
Correct.
We love robot, the best fit, the best feel, the best quality,
the comfort, the material.
Everything is top notch.
I'm wearing the robot joggers right now, my favorite.
Fresh off a restock of the most comfortable performance joggers on the planet,
and you're not going to want to miss out.
They're functional, versatile, comfortable.
These joggers check off every box.
I can personally confirm that.
The performance hoodies are quite possibly the softest hoodies we own.
I use them to sleep.
I think I'm a sleeper hoodie guy.
When paired with performance joggers, we don't think it's possible to have a more comfortable combo.
Roback's subtle dog logo and two stripe ridge keeps popping up
everywhere we go we always make sure to give a little subtle nod sass loves doing that when we
see someone rocking the robeck because we know uh they get it use code yak y-e-k on robeck.com
for 20 off your first purchase through the end of this week it's spelled r-h-o-b-a-c-k that's 20
off all performance hoodies joggers pol, polos with code YAK.
Get ready for spring and summer with Roback.
Can I just ask you a question?
Do you sleep in hoodies?
Yeah.
Stephen, you need to go back to your spot.
That's fine.
I was just kind of buying time for you guys.
This foot, this foot.
But if we start talking football on the show, do you then come in?
I mean, I could still talk from there.
Yeah.
Working microphone.
I like it.
What happened to the golf?
But I hate it.
Oh, it's on another station.
Yeah.
It's where I own it.
I like it.
We just filmed the rundown, Brandon, Kate, and I,
and we talked about how happy we were for Steven,
for the Adam Schefter tweet, how awesome it is of a life moment,
and then he's sitting here.
It's fleeting.
Yeah.
My happiness for Steven is like sex.
It happens for like 90 seconds.
And then I'm like, wait, what just happened?
Regrets.
What the fuck?
Ew, gross.
What am I doing?
I've identified what exact color that is.
Red.
No.
This is red.
No.
Let us guess. Let us guess. It's a team color. It's a team color. is. Red. No. This is red. Let us guess.
It's a team color.
It's not. It's an extremely
distinct color and I've identified it
perfectly. What is it? It's a complete
Pantone. Play-Doh. Nope.
What is it? It is
chewed, bubblicious
watermelon leaf. No, no,
it's not. It is. 100%.
Go in the other room. It's red.
It's a very distinct red. This is red.
It's a distinct red. I got it.
Do you see the inch that you gave him and do you see
the mile that he's taking?
It took him 18 minutes.
You gotta
undo it. I don't know what I gotta do.
As someone who just doesn't
do sports, I love this.
I love it. I enjoy watching it. Made himself over football operations sports, I love this. I love it.
I enjoy watching it. Made himself over football operations, not pro football operations.
I think it was a brilliant.
All football.
What he did was a coup.
You were all asleep at the wheel.
You were all asleep at the wheel.
You were real comfortable.
And he saw the opportunity.
I'm proud of him.
And Schefter tweeted it like it's not like we can.
It's done.
You can't undo it now because you'll look bad.
What are some other like roles and titles that don't exist within Barstool
but would give you cachet in other parts of the world?
Like head chef.
Yeah.
Or something like that.
Or, like, executive, you know what I mean?
Something that doesn't exist here, but...
Yeah, I think I'm still just a blogger.
Right, you know what I mean?
Like, what do you put on your...
Box, Steven's a...
...forms that you fill out. Steven's a... I don't think there's ever been a blogger. Right. You know what I mean? Like, what do you put on your forms that you fill out?
Steven's a...
I don't think there's ever been a person in my life that I've rooted for as much, and
then the minute he gets something, I'm like, why'd I do that?
Yeah.
You know...
It's like, I genuinely love Steven Chey.
You know this title's going to come up again.
Yeah.
Oh, of course.
It's going to come up constantly.
He's going to wield this title.
I love the guy.
I root for him.
I'm always in his corner, but then when good things happen to him, I'm like, wait, what did I just do?
He's going to meet Tom Brady and introduce himself as Stephen Che,
VP of Football Operations at Barstool Sports.
I would say nice to see you again.
That's 100% going to happen.
Okay, not Tom Brady then.
You'll meet Aaron Rodgers and you'll say that to him.
Probably.
I'd like to see you wearing corporate clothing,
but with a performance hood attached.
I think you could do a nice...
But you do have to start dressing differently.
Let's see some pictures of VPs of football operations.
Oh, yeah.
You can't wear a suit every day.
I think he's going to turn into Roger Goodell.
I think you're wrong.
I'm close friends with the Bucs VP of football operations.
He dresses in Buccaneers team attire.
You want me to start doing that?
I will.
Okay, now I'm turning on him.
You already do that. Now I'm turning on him.
See, it happens to everyone.
Give him a little bit and then
it's like, oh wow, there's a monster
that's bubbling out of his
fucking core. His brain is just
one of the more unique brains
in the world. Have you had a
placard or one of those things?
Oh yeah, that's being ordered.
The wood one for my desk. He's going to put up a Oh, yeah, that's being ordered. The wood one for my desk.
He's going to put up a fucking, yeah, he's going to have a parking
spot, even though there won't be designated
parking spots. Oh, shit, that's a great idea.
Oh, you got to do
designated parking spots.
There should be a spot of shame
for certain reasons.
There should be.
Everybody's going to be
driving into the office, huh?
I worry about this every night.
You say we're going to have enough parking, right?
Maybe not for you.
I'm riding a bicycle.
That's up to VP of football.
I'm driving in every day.
VP of football has to decide that.
You're going to be getting in late as hell, Brandon?
No, I'm driving.
Expecting your spot to still be there?
You're the boys.
We're boys.
Often.
Gentlemen's only.
Ladies forbidden. there the boys gentlemen's only ladies forbidden you guys just missed uh the start of the show
where steven was the only one in here how'd he do he's still poorly good and then but he now is all
of our bosses so i can't imagine he's got so much power brand new that title's not a joke that title
that they shepherd put in this tweet, VP of Football Operations,
that's his title now.
He has that title.
Literally got it in his contract, VP of Football Operations.
Congratulations, Steven.
It doesn't affect you, Kyle, because you don't talk football a lot,
but if you ever do, Steven will be watching.
No, seriously.
You got to police some of the football discourse in this office.
Subpar.
That best. You guys subpar. God bless.
You guys just golfed?
Yeah.
Yeah, what a blast.
Really?
Yeah, I never have golfed.
Really?
Where'd you go?
I don't know.
Jersey City Skyway.
Oh.
I was told y'all were going to be playing nine holes at 930.
Did it take y'all?
Yeah, we only did seven.
We only did seven.
It's not that long.
It's fun being back.
Iowa is a natural.
Really?
Straight shots.
They don't leave the ground
for shit,
but you were the best.
I have a good low game.
A good low game.
Just some burners?
Some burners, yeah.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Yeah.
What's up, boys?
How we doing?
What's up with this
fucking egg shit?
We're not doing it.
Thank God.
We put it on the 12-hour stream.
The 12-hour stream
is now going to become
just our...
Jay, I think you're a sicko, man.
Yeah, I had to read that text
like seven times this morning.
The text was vile.
We literally talked about this
the other day
and we couldn't decide
on what it would be.
So instead of ingesting
the loser ingesting...
No one was ever going to
ingest foot.
That was also your idea.
Sicko.
Yeah.
Fair.
Can't you just change P-E-R-R to mean something different?
Yes.
All right.
Let's do pretty easy rest and relaxation.
Yeah.
I like that.
I feel like this would be good.
All right.
You know what?
Let's fucking do it.
Maybe we just do one-on-one.
We spin the wheel.
Two people have to do it, so not everyone has to do it.
Give us a chance.
That's fair.
So it's just...
And you can just blow your own stuff in your face.
That's fine.
I don't want...
We're always blowing foot in our own face.
Someone else.
One-on-one, yeah.
One-on-one.
Go ahead, TJ.
One-on-one.
Che against somebody.
Che against somebody.
No, it should be two people. It should be Che against somebody. You against someone, so one-on-one. I ahead, TJ. One-on-one. A che against somebody. Che against somebody. No, it should be two people.
You against someone, so one-on-one.
I've already done this before.
Perfect, so you'll show us.
Are you going to make a line on a cup?
If it's just one-on-one, so what it is is...
Hey, you're a VP.
You've got to lead by example, man.
You're being undecisive.
Okay, fine.
I'll do it against one person.
Okay.
So there's no cup needed.
It'll be whoever will have impartial judgment will bring in a third party,
and whoever has the least amount of stuff will then blow it in their own face.
But it goes into the egg.
Okay.
So at times, yeah.
Okay, so you come sitting sassy.
We'll do it recently, like two minutes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, perfect.
TJ, can you put up a poll if anybody is wanting to watch this?
Yeah.
It'll be only two minutes.
Zone out for two minutes.
Actually, there's just a high probability of me blowing it in my own face.
So this is, I don't like this at all.
All right, fine.
You don't have to do it.
You can be the impartial judge.
No, we'll spin it on its wheel.
Picks two people.
We do the full office wheel.
There you go. Let's do five more.
All right. One on one TJ.
Two last two people on the wheel. We'll have to do
it. And yeah,
we'll do it for two minutes and check
it off the box. I'll open them right now.
Obviously. Okay. Great. It'll take a while
to
you're going to be on the wheel. What do you mean? You, obviously. Okay, great. It'll take a while. You're on two.
You've got to be on the wheel. What do you mean?
You're here. You're sitting here? Yeah. You're sitting here. Wait, wait, wait.
Thank you. You're out. Put Jason on the wheel. Jason on the wheel. Jason's
not on the wheel? Jason, what the fuck? Trying to get
out of it?
We got out, Kate?
Yes. Yeah, Kate's good.
But Jason wasn't on the wheel.
Well...
We do reset after an edit.
You were going to repeat.
It is true.
Typically.
Ah, this motherfucker.
Of course.
All right, so he'll be the judge.
I think he's got a foot fetish.
Yeah, I think he does too.
Or a foot skin fetish.
Thank God.
Yeah, thank you.
I'm going to start taking off my shoes right now.
You two have been walking around on a golf course all day.
Yeah, mine are gross.
I don't have a pinky toenail right now.
Oh, God damn it.
Pinky toenails are a weird thing.
Sometimes you got one, sometimes you don't.
Even me not being included in this, I am still against it.
I am still against it.
I don't want to see it.
I don't want to sense it in any way.
Why is he so excited about this idea?
All right, so whoever's off here, the last two remaining.
He's got like a skip in his step.
All right, TJ.
Not too bad.
Is TJ the most picked guy by the wheel?
Yes.
God damn it.
Oh, God. Should I order milkshakes yeah
alright I'll get some milkshakes or something to make this a little bit better
alright Chad the floor is yours
if you want to start hosting
TJ you can just do it in your seat
we need TJ's feet out here
both feet right Steve pump them up Oh, we need TJ's feet out here. Both feet, right?
If you need the...
Steve, pump them up.
Okay.
Opening it.
I feel like five minutes.
I got two.
Oh, you have to.
You need five minutes.
These things...
Whoever made these packaging is the worst.
No, I disagree.
You're not the smartest guy.
What kind of milkshakes do you guys want?
Stephen Che proofed it.
Strawberry, if you're honest.
Strawberry.
It's a package.
Vanilla, please.
Vanilla.
Boom.
Where are you getting them from?
Thick milkshakes with two Cs.
Oreo, peanut butter banana, chocolate, chocolate peanut butter, mint chocolate chip, caramel.
Chocolate peanut butter. Thank you, Rowan. How do you do mint chocolate chip caramel chocolate peanut butter
thank you Rowan
I'll just do mint chocolate chip
I'll just sip on someone else's
no
I don't want one
alright I'll get you
mint chocolate chip
yeah
thanks
um
what milkshakes
do you guys want
cookies and cream please
cookies and cream
there you go, TJ.
Jason.
I mean, I'll do a mint chip if you're willing.
A mint chip if you're willing.
Don't say a bitch about your milk chip.
You're here.
Mint chip.
Actually, no.
Roan's not willing to do mint chip.
You're on the wheel.
You get a milkshake.
Say, enter your milkshake order.
Say your order. Say your order.
Say your order. A shard of plastic.
This is our VP of football office, folks.
He just got concussed by opening a pet egg.
What was your reaction to Schefter?
Did you guys ask?
When you saw it on your phone.
He freaked out and called me.
He was in the car with his kids.
Confirm what?
That he didn't ask him to to do that it could have been i mean no i didn't ask generous guy yeah and he confirmed that it was not
him and uh pulled over and i was like i was sweating like uh it was not not panic but just
like uh a very different sensation for from my perspective, he called me and started thanking me.
I was like, I had nothing to do with it, and then kept on thanking me,
and I was like, please, God, end this call.
Yeah.
I mean, did you sleep?
Yeah, yeah, man, I slept.
Did you screenshot it?
He's got to get framed.
Yeah, of course.
Are you going to frame it?
Framed and signed. I don's got to get framed. Yeah, of course. Are you going to frame it? Framed and signed.
I don't need to sign it.
I mean, him tweeting it and signing it, really.
I DMed Chet, though.
Did I tell you that?
No.
What'd you say?
I just wrote, like, dude, you're the best.
And he was like, no problem.
He's like, really happy for you.
You're going to love the city.
Yeah.
He's your best friend.
Can I be senior VP of football operation i told you we're gonna we're okay all right i'm just gonna elevate everyone else to president i can't believe that's
a that way steven's still the lowest man on the totem pole yeah what was up with you yesterday
what was that what was that text chain and the vibrating tool you got oh uh somebody sent me
this piece of workout equipment that's uh the vibrating plate that got? Oh, somebody sent me this piece of workout equipment,
the vibrating plate that you stand on,
and it activates your muscles or something.
I'd never seen anything.
Is it like one of those old ones from the 20s?
Oh, no, no, no.
No, it's not that.
And I thought you might know it, so I was just like,
have you ever seen one of these?
No.
So I stood on it for a while, and my ass muscles were sore afterwards too.
Oh, you were sore after.
Yeah.
Okay.
So cheese grater feet, it goes into this.
What did you just say?
Cheese grater feet.
Cheese grater.
It's a literal, it's actually like a cheese grater.
Grater.
Because a cheese grater is just a form of a grater.
If you go too far, you can draw blood, right?
You can really.
I mean, yeah, you're not going to want to.
It'll feel fine on your dead skin.
It'll start to hurt
if you don't have
any more dead skin.
Yeah.
So we should set a time
of two minutes or something.
Two minutes, yeah.
You excited?
And you're going to judge?
Yeah.
This feels like
it's going to hurt.
Your feet look very smooth
and not that I'm looking.
Bloggers feet.
They don't look like they are.
Rico and Hank
are meeting in the lobby.
I just need y'all to know that.
That looks very serious.
All right, tell us when.
They might be planning the show.
Sucks.
Well, look at this.
Quit smiling that big.
He's so excited.
I think you're horny.
He's aroused. This is I think you're horny. Dude, he's aroused.
This is insane.
What is the goal?
Like, nobody just thinks of this at the top of their head,
and then you've got to fucking blow it in your face.
You want to have more.
If you have less, then you're...
You want to get as much as you can.
If I have less than what?
Me.
Then you lose, and you'll have to blow it in your face.
Okay, so I'm going to grade one millimeter of stuff,
and then lose, and then blow that in my own face.
No, it's a gentleman's agreement.
It's a gentleman's agreement.
You got to try.
You got to try.
That won't get Che.
That's not going to get Che off.
Che won't come.
You want Che to come or not?
Che, I'm going to actually try.
Let's try.
Let's try, TJ.
Come on, gentlemen.
All right, boys.
You got the timer up?
What a fucking couple of days for Che.
He never has losses.
No.
He doesn't take damage.
He has losses.
He doesn't last.
It's impossible for him.
All right, you ready?
Sure.
All right, here we go.
Oh, the sound is rough.
It goes into itself.
Yeah, you're doing it.
Look at Jay.
You're on your tiptoes watching.
There you go.
Get into it.
But you won't know if you make yourself bleed.
I've used one of these before.
No.
That sounds bad.
The tops of your toes.
You're really scraping?
That sounds bad.
PJ, how are you doing?
I don't like it.
It feels weird.
Top of your toes?
Where they meet your shoe.
Are you producing
pulp?
What culture do you think cares
about their feet the most?
I assume the bottom of your feet.
The soles are probably where it's most.
The Japanese.
Does it feel good at all?
Probably.
Who used to do the tiny feet?
That meant you were like a lady.
Chinese?
Yeah, the Chinese foot binding.
No, it doesn't feel good at all.
It feels like you're cheese grating your feet.
Ugh.
Who does the primary amount of foot massage parlors?
I would think Japanese or Korean.
I don't know.
So Asian, Asian, Asian.
Yeah. A lot of people believe the Asian, Asian, Asian. Yeah.
A lot of people believe the foot reflexes and stuff like that is the health.
Like how your mom thought onions on your feet would make you not sick.
Yeah.
Acupuncture on the feet, that's...
Mm-hmm.
You guys are brave for doing this.
I'm proud of you guys.
TJ, I'm proud of you, man.
Big Cat, I'm proud of you, bro.
You guys are really fucking doing it.
10 seconds.
Is there any satisfaction to it?
Okay.
Jay, you good, bro it? Okay. Jay.
You good, bro?
Two minutes.
Over.
All right.
Barely even a smile from Jay.
So take the lid off.
Oh, my God.
Ew, he's doing TJ's.
Ew.
Very cute.
Not enough for you, huh?
So freaky.
Like, what is going on right now?
This is the worst thing ever. He's going to come judge yours now.
For him to get out of it by being like, I've done it before.
What?
Yeah, wait, we didn't squash him on that.
When were you doing this?
What the fuck?
All of yours is on the rim.
Oh, no.
What?
You had less or?
You had more.
Fuck.
So now I have to blow this in my own face?
Not in here, right?
In the shower.
In the shower.
You're going to have foot all over your face, dude.
Wait, did you take a full look?
Look.
See?
Sure?
Get them both on camera.
Let the people decide. People need to see.
Damn it.
Pretty healthily.
Ew.
What did you do different?
Come on, boys.
Oh, God damn it.
He does.
Way more.
No, no, no, no, TJ.
No reason to do this.
Make sure you give me mine back.
I don't want yours.
You think you'd recognize your own foot?
Not when it's been shaved off.
Okay.
Okay.
Here he is.
Oh Oh no
Oh man
Oh man
Oh
Delighted
Oh man
Oh
Where do we
This feels What do we Oh. This feels...
What do we do now?
This feels like a moment that we can't come back from.
Yeah.
You're giving Jay too much power, bro.
Schefter might need to tweet something else, bro.
Schefter might need to take it all back.
Yeah.
Oh.
A return.
Oh.
Imagine if we all did that into a cup.
So weird.
Then blew in the...
So weird.
How many of those do we have?
Originally, he wanted to be...
I don't know if I can look you guys in the face anymore.
He wanted it to be a relay race.
How many of those pet eggs do we have?
Two.
Those are the two.
You want to reuse them on everybody's feet.
We do have to respect the wheel and say that there's no bad ideas,
but that was a horrible idea.
Remember Lotto Week?
No, no, no, because we come up with the ideas and put them on the wheel.
Right.
The wheel doesn't come up with the ideas.
Yeah, but no bad ideas.
Bad ideas.
Lotto Week, we had a chance of winning lottery tickets.
Somebody won $300.
We're talking about this and this as
a potentially worse idea than
Lotto or that Lotto week could have
been worse than this. Scratch-offs?
That was awesome.
Compared to this.
I don't know if TJ and I can
be in the same room together anymore.
Where does this fall on
the rim of competition?
I'm very low. Do you feel uneven though? You have one smooth foot. That was a grim competition. I'm very low.
Do you feel uneven, though?
You have one smooth foot.
No, I did both.
Oh, you did both?
Okay.
Am I the best at this?
Maybe the best?
Do you want to challenge him?
Get your belt back?
I got less foot to rock with now.
Yeah, I guess.
You want to play somebody, don't you?
You wouldn't mind if someone stepped up to the plate.
No, I do not want to do that.
Do you want to do an ad, Rones?
I actually might have a high noon.
Yeah, that's probably a good idea.
I mean, a lime, KB.
Oh.
Thank you.
Okay.
You ever feel like you're in a spot where you want to just kind of
erase everything out of there?
Well, one of my favorite things to relax and etch-a-sketch my brain with
is a nice high noon.
A tequila seltzer, and man, it's good.
It doesn't have that malt-hard seltzer BS.
You're going to love the new Tequila High Noon Seltzer,
a premium hard seltzer made with real tequila and real juice.
It's got a clean finish because it's made with a real Blanco tequila,
and it only has 100 calories.
It's gluten-free, and there's no added sugars.
High Noon Tequila Seltzer is now available nationwide in four bright, crisp flavors,
strawberry, lime, grapefruit, and passion fruit.
High Noon Tequila Seltzer is great for the outdoors, especially around the pool, lake, beach, golf, or tailgating,
and you can look for them today at Drizzly or at your local convenience or liquor store
or visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you.
It is the best.
I've warmed up to high noon tequilas so much
that I think I like them better than the vodkas.
Oh, yeah?
I think that that's where I am right now.
What will happen?
Real blood.
I guess I'm happy I didn't
You just did it
Why are you happy?
Step up and do it
You didn't step up, the wheel chose you
But you showed your willingness
And the wheel saw that
Here's the only thing
I've done the spin zones in my head here
There definitely
Is a case With HR That my boss made me shave my eggs my feet with an egg
on camera yeah that feels yes like a lawsuit we have hr can we get an hr person in here yeah and
more than that you had to blow it in your face yeah and we spent the entire first half of the
show talking about steven sheay being all of our bosses.
Humiliated you.
It's harassment.
Oh, I'll never recover from this.
And we kind of asked, like, can we not do this?
And he was like, no.
Yeah.
This wasn't a football activity, actually.
Foot.
Foot.
And there was a ball.
Yes.
Yes.
I'd say more of an egg, but.
What is a football shape like, if anything, but an egg?
That was hazing.
Mid-major hazing.
Miami of Ohio hazing.
That was a Mack haze.
Hazen shit.
We're going to let you win.
You're on your Arkansas State haze and shit.
Sunbelt haze.
You win no matter what, but just do it.
The guys will respect you more if you do it.
You're on that Appalachian State shit.
You have to grab each other's dicks.
That would be power five.
Right, that's the...
Power five is a great shit.
Everybody wants it.
A little broomstick up your butthole.
Ookie cookie.
A power five haze used to hit in like 08. Everybody wants it. A little broomstick up your butthole. Yeah, right. A little ooky-cookie. Right.
A Power 5 haze used to hit in, like, 08.
Probably, like, until 08.
Yeah.
When it started out.
E3 hazing.
Probably, like.
Chug a beer.
1962 to, like, 08 was the fucking glory days of Power 5 hazing.
Oh, my God.
Penn State tried to run it back in, like, 16.
Yeah, they did.
That Power 5 haze.
Yeah.
I bet you hazing back in, like, the 60s
probably won a couple championships.
Being like, we all had to put our dicks in each other's butts.
We'll go to war.
Yeah, we'll go to war together.
Dude, like, 60s, 70s Juco hazing is what Power 5 hazing is now.
That's some bullshit.
There's got to be some schools that are really still hazing.
Oh, for sure.
Probably Alabama.
You think?
Oh, I think there's like a level where nick saban is
like probably he hazes with just how hard his practices are no their players are too good
coming in they don't haze those guys yeah but they give them really hard practices yeah but
that's practices i don't think they haze them off the field i don't think they do anything to them
i was thinking fraternity hazing are you thinking team hazing i was thinking team but we could do
fraternity hazing yeah it was way more probably more fraternity hazing. Are you thinking team hazing? I was thinking team, but we could do fraternity hazing, yeah.
It was probably more fraternity hazing because they have less to lose than sports people.
It's sports teams, right?
Yeah.
At a higher level.
But sports teams did used to tape guys to the goalpost and shit like that, like rookies
and stuff like that, and douse them with water.
Didn't Micah Parsons have some fucked up shit?
He sucked cones up guys' asses.
Yeah.
It's like hockey ice, hockey teams. It's always an ass. It's always an ass up guys' asses. It's like hockey ice hockey teams.
It's always an ass.
It's always an ass.
It's the easiest.
It's the easiest.
Easiest to assess.
Michael Parsons wearing a Celtics jersey last night after he wore a Sixers jersey the entire series.
And wore a Dallas jersey.
They showed him that he had a Dallas jersey on a few months ago.
He always puts them over like a very nice expensive shirt.
I don't know why he thought he had to wear a jersey. He doesn't have to wear a jersey. He does puts them over like a very nice expensive shirt. I don't know why he thought he had
to wear a jersey. He doesn't have to wear
a jersey. He does not have to wear a jersey. I think he was
there for like an AT&T deal.
You don't have to put the jersey on.
If you all think I bought this jersey
you're all out of your minds. I don't think that's
really the issue.
Yeah, the LeBron of the NFL.
Oh, but you weren't lying about the shirt.
Oh, butt crack sports. Oh, and then thereron of the NFL. Oh, but you weren't lying about the shirt. Butt crack sports. Oh, butt crack sports.
Oh, and then there's ball sack sports.
Wearing it with a plaid is bold.
Dallas.
Right, it doesn't look right with the plaid.
Bye, Warriors.
He's the Troll Ballins avatar.
Anki's cowboy.
Remember he used to get so mad
when he would update his avatar
to the most recent champions.
He also wanted James Wiseman, which is kind of embarrassing.
Yeah, that is tough.
Who's the dude from the Ravens that was on the act?
Marlon Humphrey.
He has some – his tweets are good.
He has good tweets.
He just found out the Titanic was nonfiction.
What? Yeah. He was today years old when he found out the Titanic was nonfiction. What?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He was today years old when he found out.
No way.
That's incredible.
That was a couple weeks ago, but that's what he said.
I'm today years old when I found out Titanic was real.
He's got a hold up.
I wish I had one of those.
It's like when Nick Van Exel found out about iced coffee.
Yeah, but you might.
You don't know what you don't know.
That's true, but I don't.
Yeah.
What if you just didn't know something everybody else knows?
Big Humpf might need a pod, bro.
He might need a podcast.
He's got good ideas.
Oh, his tweets are hilarious.
Yeah.
The Rogan podcast has convinced me that I need some pet bats.
He might
need a fucking mic in front of his face.
He's saying ridiculous
stupid shit.
It's awesome.
What do you think the biggest thing you don't know is?
How can you
know?
You might not know something
that everybody else knows.
Are you thinking of like basic math
or like capitals?
I know a surprising amount
of people who don't know
their way around a map at all.
Yeah, that's just common.
Well, does anyone have
any facts that they know?
There's an account
called Today Years Old
where people just share
their like...
Yeah, hit me.
I don't know what
offsides is in hockey.
Won't learn.
It's... Oh, okay. It Won't learn. It's wild low-key.
Wild low-key.
High-key.
High-key.
The Titanic.
You can see where it would have been a blind spot.
He might know it was just the movie.
He thought it was a movie.
No, bro.
It was so fucking culturally significant.
It's like the most famous ship.
I'm trying to think.
I had a recent one.
I thought steak frite was a style of steak.
So did I.
I thought it was a signature.
Steak and fries, right?
It just means steak and fries.
Okay, that's a good one.
But I think steak frites traditionally have a certain cut of steak.
I think it's like the flank injury or something like that.
So wait, so show us this Twitter.
Maybe pull it up, TJ.
What's it called?
It's on Twitter.
It's today years old.
An example is the—well, this one's not a good example.
The KFC Twitter account only follows 11 people, the five Spice Girls and six guys named Herb.
Herbs and Spice Girls.
Because they have 11 Spice Girls.
I don't know if that's true.
That's not Chloe Dolly.
It is true, though.
Yeah, but if you find it, let's just scroll until one of us doesn't know something.
Like screwdriver handles are designed to put a wrench on it to help loosen and tighten screws.
The way screwdriver handles are kind of like ridged.
I didn't know that.
It's not just for your hand.
I guess I didn't know that.
Like the back of a hammer is supposed to do.
That is done by hand sometimes.
Owls have super long legs.
Like if you pull up their feathers, their legs go all the way up to their owl tits
They have like super long legs
I've seen this one
What's she doing?
They put it in like upside down
I don't really understand why this is
Better
Yeah
What?
When I learned what?
Some life hacks just are not better.
Yeah.
Like the one where you're supposed to take apart your Chinese food container and make it into a plate.
Never do that.
It's like, no, the fucking Chinese food container keeps eating it out of the container.
Hold on, I need to see this tie.
This one is pretty sick.
Right?
Damn.
All right, so you just pull up now.
I don't know.
Fuck. I don't know. Fuck.
I don't think I could replicate that.
I could watch it a hundred times.
The only life hack that's good is opening the banana upside down.
What?
That is hilarious.
How the great apes eat it.
These are tortillas.
Just made it puffy.
And then what do they do?
Stuff in the puff?
Yeah, it's too thin.
Yeah, that's way too thin
that's not a real one learn planes carry fuel on their okay didn't know that no idea no they know
that i thought it was that true that can't be their wings that's no way how old were you when
you learned planes carry fuel on their wings is that true true? I don't feel like that's true.
That can't be true.
Learned.
This one would be a mind blow.
That doesn't look like enough fuel.
Now we got to myth bust it.
Yeah, we had to myth bust it, but did anyone here-
Never heard of that before in my life.
But is that common?
All right.
All the houses?
Something that most people- House within the wings.
Oh, that's several smaller fuel tanks.
But I still wouldn't have thought there was gas in there.
Yes, but where the majority of the gas is is where we thought it was.
Okay.
In the belly.
We were right, and there's just additional.
Yeah, there's just extra gas.
That was misleading.
I never would have thought there was gas in the wings at all.
I thought it was all gas.
The wings were just sloshing around in there.
Yeah.
Have you ever seen a school bus get gas?
Never.
Oh, uh-uh.
They must do it at the plant.
They have their own gas at the place.
Oh.
At the hub.
Do school bus hubs have their own gas?
Oh, yeah.
I did in my town.
Definitely.
You went to it?
I just knew where the school bus hub was.
It was right off North Division Street.
Not South Division because that's where people live.
North Division Street, it was right there.
I never went to mine, but you always heard the story about the kid that fell asleep
and then woke up at the school bus hub.
Yeah.
Cautionary tale.
What else you got, TJ?
A hole in the pasta spoon is one serving.
Wait, what is this?
Okay, well. Pushing in the hole.
Oh! Oh!
That's what those are.
Oh, fuck. Okay, unpush it?
I always push it. Why would you ever need to
unpush it? Yeah, I always push them down.
What if you push the wrong one?
Have to push them down. That has to be why.
Throw it away. It costs one cent.
What?
I'm out.
What ridges?
There's ridges on the bottom.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
They're kind of textured.
I need a salt shaker.
All right. That one blows my mind.
But these are things I'm never going to remember.
That's not like changing.
That didn't make it better.
That doesn't make salt better.
Tin foil boxes have push tabs on the side to hold the wool in.
But you can.
That's easier.
This guy is always spitting facts.
I hate this dude.
Don't fuck with him.
He spits some false facts.
Listen to his voice, though.
He's like a young Obama.
He's doing the crunchy ice cream.
Oh, yeah, I've seen this.
Why is he talking like that?
He's got a very pleasing voice.
He's got that ASMR voice.
I'm here. For this, we're going to go with the old school
fruit roll-up tongue tattoo
candies with the vanilla
ice cream, and I'll show you what happens.
You guys can see, flimsy fruit roll-up.
What we're going to do is we're going to put a scoop of
cold ice cream right inside
the fruit roll-up, and then fold
it up. Now, there's a reaction that
happens when it gets cold. It'll turn
crunchy again, like almost in seconds.
I'm going to take a bite and see how it tastes.
Okay.
I don't like the sounds he's making.
And there's some tongue-touching that he can have.
He's in his bathroom.
As well.
There's no way they were made for ice cream.
Right.
Is that what he's trying to sell us?
Yeah, that's not true.
Wait. Koozie's a brand name. Well, there's a lot trying to sell us? Yeah, that's not true. Wait.
Koozie's a brand name.
Well, there's a lot
of those, though.
Yeah, Winnebago.
Kleenex.
Koozie's a Kleenex.
That's ski.
What?
Maybe not.
Ski-do?
Sea-do?
Yeah, I don't know.
No, I don't know.
That would blow my mind.
I don't know.
Popsicle?
Is that a brand?
What is this guy doing?
He's got those, too.
Looks like a doctor with a...
You're telling me for 40 years,
anytime I needed a chip clip and I couldn't find one,
there might have been one in my closet.
Wait, time out. That's an obvious one.
Those are clips.
That one's if you're breaking something.
I use those hangers
to clip together the blinds
in a hotel.
Oh, I've never done that. Yeah.
Oh, I've seen that.
Oh, it's a little chef.
It's a guy cooking.
Yeah, Meemaw the Baker.
That's his name? You guys didn't know Meemaw
the Baker? I've seen this before, yeah.
Minnesota, Iowa, Missouri, Arkansas.
Meemaw the Baker, sorry.
Meemaw the Baker, Missouri, Arkansas. Me mall the baker, sorry. Me mall the baker, yeah.
Louisiana.
You need warm and sunny days, but still a cold and freezing night time for just a few weeks.
So they cut it into syrup?
Yeah, what makes it?
Oh, they cook it. Oh, they cook it.
Oh, they cook it.
So sap's not syrup.
Sap ain't syrup.
I wonder if it would taste like syrup.
Do people eat sap?
Do you do sap pancakes?
If you just take waffles to your tree.
I think sap is syrup.
I'm not buying this one.
I've had a beer with sap in it.
Sap is syrup.
I used to think pancakes were better than waffles.
I wanted to change that take.
Both great.
Waffles are better.
No. I don't know why people. Both great. Waffles are better. No.
I don't know why people want to be on the record that I'm changing my take.
No, that's wrong.
I love pancakes.
I love a stack of pancakes.
But if you're talking about a stack of pancakes at the table, definitely better than waffle.
But in terms of one-to-one, waffle holds all the syrup.
Holds syrup and butter better, yeah.
It does.
Can I release a food take?
Nope.
We're on a slippery slope.
We're on football, so no, you cannot.
I just think you could do more with a pancake.
Yes, you can release a food take.
Crepes dust them all.
Crepes might be the best food in the world.
You just found out about crepes like six months ago.
They're incredible.
You think it's the best food in the world?
They're just a perfect vessel for whipped cream.
Whipped cream?
Your mouth is a perfect vessel for whipped cream.
Yeah, but getting the whipped cream to my mouth, yeah.
How many have you had since you first tried them?
I don't know, maybe eight?
So you've been going back to the well?
Yeah.
And there was only one place that I went that had them, but yeah.
So you might have just had the best crepes.
I mean,
this wasn't like
a world-class restaurant.
Too French for me.
Have you had them?
Yeah, I've had them.
Good.
I feel like a pussy
when I eat them.
Give me a pancake.
I've been using
banana muffin mix
to make my pancakes
and then putting
chocolate chips in them.
What the fuck?
You could do that?
Yep, and it is so good. That's and then putting chocolate chips in them. What the fuck? You could do that? And it is so good.
That's major.
I like French toast.
Really?
I do too.
I like the crumbly when they crumble like cereal.
I like all of them.
I love breakfast.
Sweets for breakfast? Who the hell even thought of that?
That's such a fucking bold ass
decision to start your day with dessert.
Yeah.
Reese's Puffs.
Have you ever had that kind of breakfast for dinner, though?
You ever had pancakes for dinner?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Breakfast for dinner is great.
It's incredible.
It's a treat.
Sausage links.
Shout out to Cookie Crisp.
That was a good one.
And Reese's Puffs.
Well, Cookie Crisp is just cookies, right?
It's literally just cookies.
It's part of a good and balanced breakfast Reese's Puffs. Well, Cookie Crisp is just cookies, right? It's literally just cookies. Part of a good and balanced breakfast.
Yeah.
Oh.
Yeah, what?
If you add, and even the shit they were adding was just more sugar and butter.
It was just like a glass of orange juice and some buttered up eight stack of toast or something.
Were you guys sugar cereal households?
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
Yep.
Yep.
And it was just a treat every now and then.
Oh, constantly.
I didn't do it.
When Wendell fucked up in the Captain Crunch factory.
No, Wendell was.
So many berries?
Oops, all berries.
But that wasn't Wendell.
Wendell's a Cinnamon Toast Crunch guy.
I have about two bowls of cereal a day.
I usually start my day with it and end with it.
And it's usually like Cocoa Krispies or Reese's Puffs.
I love cereal.
It starts and ends with cereal.
Cereal's great.
I had Apple Jacks last night.
It was out of the bag, though.
Apple Jacks.
Yeah.
They're one of the best snackables.
Apple Jacks are great.
Better than Froot Loops and a handheld.
Yeah.
They're the same consistency and shape.
Like Apple Jacks?
I like them, but they're not my top five.
I think they really fell off.
Apple Jacks didn't fall off.
You want to hear these motherfucking cereals?
Yeah, I think we got to tear some cereals. We got to tear some cereals. Apple Jacks aesthet't fall off. You want to tear these motherfucking cereals? Yeah, I think we got to tear some cereals.
We got to tear some cereals.
Apple Jacks aesthetically.
Oh, get pissed.
I would not want to see an Apple Jack under a microscope.
Apple Jacks are good.
Good acne.
Apple Jacks are a top five cereal.
You ever put cereal on top of ice cream as a topping?
No, I haven't.
You can do that.
It's pretty good.
All right, so I have one that I think people think is disgusting, but I like Corn Pops.
Oh, those are good. Those are good.
Those are good, as long as they're not soggy.
I like honey smacks.
No, I'm a honeycomb, man.
Fuck.
Can we tear cereals?
Have we done this?
Oh, we've done this.
We've done cereals?
Cereals, no.
Oh, peanut butter Captain Crunch is amazing.
All right, so how are we going to do this?
These all look good.
Cinnamon Toast Crunch is top.
Yeah, put it up.
Put it up.
Wait, you think we're all going to agree on all of this?
We have to.
We will stay here until we all agree on everything.
Because I don't have Cinnamon Toast Crunch in my S tier.
Me neither.
I think they're A.
That's wild.
I don't think they're A. That's wild. I don't think they're S.
That's an S tier.
There's no reason to have an S tier if we don't have a group tier list.
We can because it's just the dumbest thing that we can do.
So we all got to go around and do one then.
All right.
We just put it in the tier.
We all get our own?
And then we all go.
We all give it a cereal and we go around in a circle.
Okay.
Then we all get at least one veto.
Yeah, can I fix something that you did wrong?
I didn't do anything wrong.
You did.
When Cinnamon Toast Crunch starts crumbling into those thin sliver of pieces, it ruins the cereal.
No, it doesn't.
It enhances the cereal.
You never see fucking Cheerios or O-shaped shit crumbling down like that.
You find shrimp in it?
You're telling me you never find a half a Cheerio?
You never find a half a Cheerio?
Shrimp starts a domino effect?
Oh, I've had shellfish in my cereal since, and you just got to stay mum.
Yeah, you can't say a thing about it.
You're like, well, do I love my life?
Shout out to our guy, Jensen.
Do I share that there's fish in my cereal?
Watch it all come crumbling down.
All right, go ahead, Brandon.
That's your first pick?
That was mine.
I wanted to nominate...
They have peanut butter Chex on there?
Because peanut butter Chex are actually...
I've never had that.
Elite.
They don't.
You're getting a little too fancy.
No, they're fucking elite.
I think Honey Nut Cheerios is S tier.
Crave is low key. I could eat a whole box.
We have done this before.
Tear the cereals? Yes.
We've teared. Something else.
Cinnamon Life in S tier and then put Frosted Mini Wheats
in S tier and then let's just fill out the rest of the book.
Cinnamon Life is good for hangover.
It's solid but you get some milk. Let's just not tear it
because if we've teared it before we don't want to run into that. I think
Cheerios are S tier. No, what?
Regular Cheerios. Boy! Yeah. If you base off
cultural impact, sure. And also
just like a basic, like you've never had
a bad bowl of Cheerios. What's the worst?
Honey Nut? It's the worst brand of Cheerios.
Well, Honey Nut, yes, but also regular Cheerios.
It's the worst brand of Cheerios. No, I'm with you, bro.
Dude, put a slice of banana in there, maybe some blueberries.
No, no. God damn it. They wouldn't have made Honey Nut Cheerios or Frosted Cheerios. Dude, you. What? Dude, put a slice of banana in there. No, no.
God damn it.
They wouldn't have made honey nut Cheerios or frosted Cheerios.
Dude, you can't, like, that's like saying, like, if you did tiers of food, like, bread is an S tier.
It goes with everything.
It's the building blocks of life.
Bread, potatoes, we're just putting bread in S. You just want some sugary shit.
Yeah, you're just a fucking little boy.
Well, I mean, one's better than the other.
Bees really need a W. Bees? Yeah. One's better than the other. Bees really need a W.
Bees?
Yeah.
Everybody's saying save the bees.
Because they're all dying.
Yeah, but they're pressed.
How do we get there?
Bees need a W.
Bees don't need a W.
We do it like once a month on the act where I'm convinced that someone gave us drugs right before.
I feel high.
Well, you sniffed your own foot.
I did. Let's tear vending
machine snacks. Okay.
Chex Mix Bold.
We'll get on the same page faster with that.
I would hope so. I'd agree.
I think we're all on the same page with what the best ones are.
No, because I'm hot.
You're going to ruin it.
I got to come out. I'm anti-Big Texas.
No.
Okay, we'll get if that's.
Lifesavers.
What?
We're almost full of shit with the Cinnamon Toast Crunch steak, though, right?
That was tough, yeah.
Why?
I think it's the best.
That's bullshit.
You think it's better than Reese's Puffs?
It's a lot better.
You're a fucking idiot.
You're a fucking idiot.
You're a lot of words that I won't say.
Did you know Kellogg's?
Rapist? You're a lot of words that I won't say. Did you know Kellogg's had a health retreat where they boasted 47 different kinds of baths you could take?
And then the other thing was 15 quart enemas.
15 quarts is a lot, isn't it?
What is a quart?
A quart is like bigger than a water.
15 quarts up your butt.
You thought you were getting in front of a judge?
I'm with Roan.
Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Don't.
All right.
I thought you guys were valid, but it turns out you're whack.
Oh.
All right.
Let's do this.
Pull up our-
You could eat one cereal-
I can do this.
If you could eat one of the two cereals for the rest of your life, you had to eat every
single day, Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Cheerios?
Cinnamon Toast Crunch in a walk.
In a walk. Cheerios. Cheerios. You don't even have to eat Cheerios? Cinnamon Toast Crunch in a walk. You can see.
In a walk.
Cheerios.
I'm going Cheerios for that. You don't have to add bananas to make yours interesting.
No, but I'm just saying, you would get so sick of Cinnamon Toast Crunch if you had to eat every single day.
You would get sick of not tasting anything.
Yours is like eating breath.
It would be great.
Baseline.
It's a building block.
All right, we've got to focus on this one. Yeah, you want to eat a building block? Don't fuck this one great. Baseline. It's a building block. Alright, we gotta focus on this one.
Yeah, you wanna eat a building block?
Don't fuck this one up. Frank does.
Cheerios is drafting a really good
guard. Who wants to step up?
They're gonna put Skittles too high. I will go.
Who wants to step up and put something on the S2? I will go.
Alright, so I'll go. I will go.
Go. Remind you, this is
a vending machine, so it's not the
context of getting something from a vending machine.
Give me those Fritos honey barbecue twists.
Yes.
What?
Yes.
No.
Yes.
Those are S.
Are those the twists?
I also, I'll go as well.
Hold on, hold on.
We all get to go.
I'll go high for that.
Oh, it's not.
It's not.
It's not a lot of air in the bag.
Not an S.
Show me Cool Ranch Doritos.
S.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
S.
That's a solid S.
Can I say, can I put.
Great pick, Nick.
Thank you.
Great pick.
All right, all right.
Brandon, what do you got, Brandon?
Because we can't only put stuff in the S tiers.
I'm going to go the other way.
Right, right.
I want you to open the D tier and let Funyuns the fuck in right now.
If you get Funyuns, fuck you.
No, no.
I'm going to put Hot Funyuns in there as well.
All Funyuns need to go in there.
I think Hot Funyuns are C.
I love Funyuns.
Nobody likes Funyuns.
I'm going to put them at D.
What?
You think that Hot Funyuns-
Oh, I see another one that I love that I needed to be S tier.
Hope it comes back around to me. Oh, I've got one that I love that I needed to be S tier. Hope it comes back around to me.
Oh, I've got an S tier then.
If you guys piss me off, I'm throwing Pez an S.
I'm sorry, but the smart popcorn needs to go to S tier.
What?
That's delicious.
What the fuck?
It's not an S.
Now it's the Brandon show.
Now it's the Brandon show.
It's the Brandon show.
My popcorn is going to tweet a list at 3 in the morning and be like,
everyone debate me.
I'll say S tier Reese's Cups.
I agree.
Yes, yes, that's great.
If I was high school Kate at the vending machine, I'm getting this.
Easy, easy.
Are y'all telling me that if you walked somewhere and saw a vending machine with two options,
the twist and the smart popcorn, you're taking the twist?
Yes.
Even I would take the twist.
In a second.
Dude, those twists are the best fucking, they might be the best chip.
Smart popcorn is for when I feel terrible about myself and I'm like, I'm going to be healthy.
But it tastes delicious.
Smart popcorn is what I give to my kids.
I'm like, it's a treat.
Talking about the cheddar.
Pour it on the floor.
Yes.
While I'm eating the fucking Fritos.
Nobody's with me here.
It's not a vending machine snack.
It is.
Oh, like, all right, here, watch this.
One of my favorite snacks is on there, but I don't know if it's, it's not an S tier vending machine. It's a great snack. It is. Watch this. One of my favorite snacks is on there,
but I don't know if it's... It's not an S-tier
vending machine. It's a great snack.
Hot fries are... I love hot fries.
I don't think they're S-tier. I've never gotten them out of a vending machine.
Right. They're a great
convenience store.
S-tier convenience store. Can I nominate something
for the A-tier? Yes. The A-tier.
So not S-tier.
Hershey's Cookies and Cream. Yep, that's fine.
It's not the very, very, very best, but it's
fucking... I gotta get closer because there's one I don't know what it is.
I nominate a D tier. Yes.
Twizzlers. Yes!
Get him the hell out of here. You're not gonna like it, but you're right.
I like Twizzlers, but you're right. No flavor.
Also in the D tier,
Pez. Yeah. Who the fuck
gets Pez? I would do it as a laugh.
Just be like, guess what I got out of the vending machine?
I don't know if – I'm sorry.
Go ahead, Kate.
No, you go.
Where are we putting these grandma's cookies?
C or D?
C or D?
The grandma's.
C.
C.
They're terrible.
Right.
I would say my final S tier – again, I normally don't get them at the store, but vending
machine, I'm at a high school basketball game.
I'm picturing high school, Kate, and I would get Twix.
I felt like the cookie was filling the caramel S tier of top.
No.
I'm with you on that.
I see it as a gas station.
A maybe then.
I like it as an A.
I don't know how much candy I'm putting in S.
I have another one.
I feel like the barbecue lays deserve a high spot.
They deserve a B probably. TJ, I see what you're doing. Those are S. I don another one. I feel like the barbecue lays deserve a high spot. They deserve a B
probably. TJ, I see what you're doing.
Those are S. I don't know if people will agree.
Those are S. Chili? I love those.
Those are my favorite ones. Those are better
than nacho cheese? Stop it.
They are. They're better than Cooler Ranch.
They're better than Cooler Ranch.
Nacho cheese is just
for walking. I don't think they're common enough to be
S tier here. I don't think you would see those in that many vending machines.
You're going to see Cool Ranch.
You're going to see Nacho, but you're not going to see those.
Spencer Chase, Brandon.
Those are the third.
If you see them, you get them.
Those are the third Doritos.
I might get shit on for this.
Regular Skittles go in C.
People aren't going to like it, but I agree.
Sour Skittles probably go in B.
You get old quick.
Putting plain lays in D.
I think Sour Patch Kids.
Plain lays is such a good accessory, though.
Plain lays is also a good default.
What do you guys think about Sour Patch Kids in A?
If you're eating plain lays, I think you're like a surfer.
Sour Patch Kids, that's an A.
Hold on time.
Again, are y'all buying Sour Patch Kids out of a vending machine?
No, Swedish Fish are not an A.
I love Swedish Fish.
Who just did that?
Sour Patch Kids are an A.
TJ go rogue with that?
Yeah, he did.
Don't be doing that. I feel like the popular kids always had Sour Patch Kids. I don't think Sour Patch Kids are an A. TJ go rogue with that? Yeah, he did. Don't be doing that.
I feel like the popular kids always had Sour Patch Kids.
I don't think Sour Patch Kids are vending machine snacks.
Sour Patch Kids aren't even the best type of Sour Patch Kids.
You think Watermelon?
Yes.
That's true.
He's right.
He's right.
Warhead F.
F, yeah.
I feel like we've talked about this, but why are Swedish Fish only red?
No, they have different colors.
They are, but they're not like the packages that you can buy in stores.
What's to look
like the Swiss flag?
If we're adding F,
I wouldn't mind if we moved some shit down.
Like Pez and Twizzlers.
No, Twizzlers don't go F.
I think Funyuns are D.
I think Funyuns are F. Funyuns are misrepresented.
No, Funyuns are good.
Is anyone else eating Funyuns? I love Funyuns. No, you don't love Funyuns are F. Funyuns are misrepresented. No, Funyuns are good. Funyuns are not good. Is anyone else eating Funyuns?
I love Funyuns.
No, you don't love Funyuns.
They're good.
I love them too.
I cannot have them in F.
Nobody loves Funyuns.
I think Hot Fries are a B.
It's like Sun Chips too, don't you?
I do like Sun Chips.
Hot Fries are what?
B?
Yeah.
Because the only problem, Hot Fries are delicious.
The problem is obviously your hands get so messy.
You're not seeing them a lot.
You know what I love?
The generic party mix in there.
I was just thinking that.
What?
What?
It is not very good.
It's very good.
It's like bowling shoes.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Put it in B.
Again.
That's the most C of all time.
I want my barbecue chips at least in A.
Welch's fruit snacks, A.
No.
No, you don't get any food in there.
There's hardly any.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
I love all this shit.
Okay, wait.
We're missing Cheetos.
Flaming Hot Cheetos should be an A.
Oh.
No?
Regular Cheetos could be high, too.
No, I'm with you, Big Cap.
I think those are...
You don't put Flaming Hot Cheetos above the barbecue lays.
I think regular Cheetos are A.
You don't put Party Mix in B.
I didn't put Party Mix in B.
That was him.
I agree. I agree.
I agree.
You said Smart Food Popcorn.
Yes.
This guy said Smart Food.
Now I'm on my barbecue chips.
That's a snack you eat during a webinar.
Get that to D.
Now I'm in barbecue chips.
I'm with you on the barbecue chips.
At least A.
Give me A on the barbecue chips.
I'll throw myself from this building if Party Mix doesn't get out of it.
I agree.
Party Mix has to drop.
From B?
Yes.
It's not good.
It's not a B.
I do think, unfortunately.
You look stupid today.
We both like Funyuns, all right?
This list doesn't have the correct M&M's,
but M&M's should be up there.
Peanut is the best.
Peanut butter, sorry. Peanut butter is the best.
Red. You love
salty and sweet together. Can I ask a question?
What's the candy bar without a label that's
between M&M's and the Jolly Ranchers? Snickers?
Is that what that is? Snickers?
That should probably be S. C for Carbone?
I think Snickers is an A. Snickers is one of the rare candy bars I will buy out of any machine. Yeah. I don't like it. Is that what that is? Which that should probably be S. C for Carbone? I think Snickers is an A.
Snickers is one of the rare candy bars I will buy out of any machine.
Yeah.
I don't like it, but people love it.
If you're grumpy.
Wait, where'd Kit Kat go?
That's an S.
It's down at the bottom left.
Okay.
Kit Kat, it's not enough.
You're paying for a vending machine in A.
A big Kit Kat is an S.
Oh, for sure.
A regular Kit Kat's an S.
Smart Food in D.
Kit Kat in my bag right now from the vending machine yesterday.
What vending machine?
Smart food in D.
In Secaucus Station.
I don't know why I said it was a vending machine.
It was a convenience store.
See where smart food lands?
We can't put off the honey bun conversation.
We just can't.
I usually approach a vending machine.
Get honey bun the fuck out of here, bro.
No, no, no, no, no.
But you're approaching a vending machine out of desperation because you need filler,
and those honey buns are good filler. You get the big Texas. Honey buns are good filler. No, no, no, no, no. But you're approaching a vending machine out of desperation because you need filler, and those honey buns are good fillers.
You get to Big Texas.
Honey buns.
No, no, no.
I'm eating a meal out of a vending machine.
Me.
Me.
What situation is that?
Constantly.
Is there a microwave next to a vending machine?
Honey bun is great.
It's not great.
It's not great.
And if Big Texas is on the same list, you're taking a Big Texas.
No, you're not.
You are.
You're a poor college student.
That's a filler.
That's a good filler.
So Big Texas will feed you for a week.
These better not be sniffing of owl.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Ring pops?
CJ's getting a little loose.
He's doing his own thing.
Ring pops RF.
Fine, but he's doing his own thing a lot.
I think he snuck something else in there earlier.
He snuck Starburst gummies in there and didn't even tell anybody.
I think Airheads are a horrible thing.
Airheads suck dick.
I also think that...
Hey, you like Airheads?
I love Airheads.
Consistency is one of my favorite things.
Are you afraid to hurt these foods' feelings?
I love Airheads.
I'm thinking high school, college-age me.
You're like a snake to your list of things.
Why are you thinking high school?
We're thinking now.
Because those were the years I used vending machines the most, like all the time.
Check this out.
Those are cool glasses, KB.
I know.
They're reverse sunglasses.
They make everything brighter.
You did not help me on the course.
It was a bright-ass day.
It's groovy.
It kind of picks up your mood.
Starburst or A, I believe.
We can't put off the salt and vinegar discussion.
I love salt and vinegar.
Those are high.
I hate them.
So polarizing, you've got to put it in B or C.
B.
In the white bag.
I think party mix should be higher.
I think sour cream and onions should be in B as well.
Yes.
It should be higher.
I'm okay with saying fuck the Airheads.
I don't like regular Cheetos.
What?
No, come.
Cheetos.
I agree, Brandon.
Cheetos are good.
Cheetos are very good.
Cheetos are...
I'm fine in B.
I don't see regular Cheetos.
Cheetos are A.
Cheetos are puffs.
Puffs.
That's not regular Cheetos.
Puffs are better than Cheetos.
Yeah, those are A.
I like Cheetos better than puffs.
Cheetos are better than puffs.
You like Cheetos better than Smartfood?
They're on the same tier. Oh, my God. I love Cheetos. What, nowetos better than Puffs. You like Cheetos better than Smartfood? They're on the same
tier. I love Cheetos.
What, now you're a Smartfood guy?
No, Smartfood's terrible.
It's not terrible, and you know it's not terrible. It's terrible for a vending
machine.
There are nicer vending machines now that have
Smartfood popcorn in there. We have a
big Doritos debate coming. I know, and I'm
afraid of that. I don't think it's a debate.
Nacho Cheese should be ahead of that Purple Bag. Thanks, Brandon. I don't think it's a debate. Nacho cheese should be ahead of that purple bag.
Thanks, Brandon.
I don't think you've ever had the purple bag.
The purple bag is too bad.
You've never had the purple bag.
You're by the foot is not inventing machines.
Put F.
I think I've had it once or twice.
Okay, so you haven't had it enough.
That's for ice cream.
If it was good, I would have had it more.
It's probably got too much spice for you.
I mean, Dorito cheese nacho.
Nacho Doritos, the original, should be at least A tier.
Just based on legacy. Yeah.
Agreed. Based on legacy, then we're putting
Lays original. You just made my Cheerios
argument for me. Oh, your Cheerios
argument was stupid. Yeah, you did. Because nacho
Doritos are good. Doritos are A.
Nacho Doritos are good. Made my Cheerios. Thank you
for making my point for me. You can't base things off legacy in this.
This is late night
waiting for the train.
No, he did a legacy thing.
You're satisfied with Doritos.
You're not satisfied with Cheerios.
Cheerios are plain Jane.
Legacy.
I don't want to be somewhere where I have to lick my fingers.
I do.
I know.
No, you wipe it on every chair you're in.
Because our entire aisle out there has grease stains.
No, it does not.
Yes, it does.
You're lying about our aisle.
Do you want me to go take photos of every chair?
Don't take photos of grease stains. I will. Mil not. Yes, it does. You're lying about our aisle. Do you want me to go take photos of every chair? Don't take photos of grease stains.
I will.
Milkshakes.
Milkshakes.
Now you're second guessing.
Thanks, Ron.
Thank you, Ron.
It's probably $100 worth of milkshakes.
That's huge.
This show is breaking apart.
That's huge.
Where are you even going?
I'm going to take a piss.
I think this is Cookies and Cream.
All right.
Hell yeah.
I think that's the cookies and cream Alright Hell yeah I think that's That's a cookies and cream
That says there's
What else did they have?
Did you have a stroke?
I don't know what this shit is
I don't know
My strawberry better not be black
Nutella
Rubbing peanut butter
Did you get a salad at the same time?
Yeah
No it's not a salad
Strawberry should be pink Rubbing peanut butter. Did you get a salad at the same time? Yeah. No, it's not a salad.
Strawberry should be pink.
Start throwing straws out.
Good throw.
Has paper straws affected the milkshake community yet? Has it reached the milkshake world?
Yeah, it sucks.
It's brutal.
It sucks.
That's tough.
And Chicago, are we going to be paper straws or are we going to be back in plastic?
Do you have plastic bags again out there?
I don't know.
I hope so.
You just don't get bags here anymore.
I got the rock climbing wall townhouse, by the way.
Hey, congrats.
Thank you.
Oh, nice.
I know.
Is that the house?
I got the house.
I'm very excited.
I'll be able to bike to the office. It's right down the block. Oh, it's close. Oh, nice. I know. Is that the house? I got the house. I'm very excited. I'll be able to bike to the office.
It's right down the block.
Oh, it's close.
Yeah, it's very close.
Super close.
Me.
Oh, Che did.
Oh, Jason.
Jason in there.
He asked too politely.
Yeah, he said if you're willing.
So now you've got to determine if you're willing or not.
Is this cookies and cream or mint chocolate chip?
Those are mint chips, you're right.
Those are two mint chips.
Brandon, somebody in chat said, a strawberry milkshake?
Are we serious?
Ooh.
Yeah.
Here's your pride flag.
That's gay Jeff Foxworthy, a new character I'm doing.
Oh, that's Bill Engvall.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
Bill Gay Engvall.
Strawberry milkshakes are delicious.
Is somebody hating on strawberry milkshakes?
You know what a good one is?
Peach milkshakes are amazing.
Oh, great, yeah.
Oh, peach is good, yeah.
So good.
So good.
And this is a tremendous strawberry milkshake.
Well, it's from Thick Milkshakes.
It doesn't say that.
It says Davey's Ice Cream.
Maybe Davey makes up the...
Yeah, it's definitely mint chocolate chip.
You're right, Rome.
This is a treat.
I'm eating right into the mic again.
I'm sorry.
I keep forgetting.
You're not eating.
You're slurping.
Yeah.
This is a top-tier milkshake.
What are y'all having problems with?
I got a vanilla.
Yeah, none of these look like vanilla.
Maybe it's like a vanilla bean, so it's a little beige-y.
Could be that one, then.
Perhaps a bit beige-y.
Are there any beige-y ones?
Yeah.
That's the third cookie.
That would be three cookies.
That's mint.
I don't know.
This has to be cookies and cream.
Was that stuck to old blood on your knee?
Yeah, I think so.
Gross.
Oh, what's this?
We had barbecue though. That's cookies and cream? We had barbecue, though.
We got milkshakes since you were gone.
I was trying to find the sweet chili.
We're going to do a taste test.
Are there any more straws?
No, it's okay.
I got to go do an interview in a minute.
We're trying to figure out the vanilla situation.
We ran out of steam because of the milkshakes?
Well, no, the milkshakes took over.
That's good, too.
Trying to figure out the variety.
And Kyle's just eating a potato.
I like to think that everyone watching also just got a milkshake delivered right now,
and we're all just enjoying a little treat or their lunch.
I think cookies and cream.
All right, so that's cookies and cream.
No, that's not cookies and cream, is it?
Somebody in there.
Somebody took the wrong one.
Did Che take my vanilla?
Che, do you have vanilla?
They might not have given us a vanilla, though.
Does someone have a vanilla? Is my vanilla? Shay, do you have vanilla? They might not have given us a vanilla, though. Does someone have a vanilla?
Is that vanilla?
It's the finest of the flavors.
This is vertigo.
Just be heavy on the bean.
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad?
It's right in there.
Yeah, you feel bad.
Are those nerds?
Instead of funerals.
The little sprinkles?
You know what I mean?
You soon will. Jilly Rancher. What is it? Stop. Jilly Ranchers? Are those nerds? The little sprinkles?
Jolly Rancher.
What is it?
Oh, Jolly Ranchers. Yes, Ben.
Bag of Jolly Ranchers?
That's like a good road trip
thing. I'd say D
for Jolly Ranchers.
I don't think they're at the very bottom. I haven't had Jolly Ranchers since
fourth grade. What?
They're not good.
Put them in cheap vodka.
Let them melt
throughout the day. I think I had a Jolly Rancher and a Zima now that you say that.
Brought back a memory I didn't know I had.
I don't think I have a chocolate peanut butter.
I have strawberry. I got absolutely fucked on this one. What do you have? chocolate peanut butter. I have strawberry.
I got absolutely fucked on this one. What do you have?
I think this is cookies and cream.
You want this instead?
No.
There's definitely no vanilla.
Let's get back to war.
I'll be back in pissed.
Yeah.
All right.
We're close to finishing this one.
We settled a lot of it.
Putt.
M&Ms's are A.
And so is Kit Kat. Kit Kat might be S.
If Kit Kats were bigger.
Alright, this is where I have to say
are you just, because that seems like a
convenience store and not really a vending machine.
I would get M&M's from a vending machine.
When's the last time you got a Kit Kat from a vending machine?
Yesterday. You just said you did
yesterday. No, but I accidentally, it was a
convenience store.
I got one. In my bag if you want it i would i would get a kit kat from a vending machine yeah that's great yeah that's great i would get one they just go away too quickly yeah
that's the problem with reese's though too i'm gonna say it what we should have done is a draft and you pick three things and we
go around who has the best three oh we'll do that make our names the letters yeah make our names
the letters yeah do that real quick that's the best way to finish that's not tearing that just
changes the whole form i know well we're never gonna i mean this tier what are we gonna do tweet
this tweet tier and then people are gonna be like, oh. Yeah. Get some off.
I'd like to see everyone's tastes.
Honey buns be Big Texas C.
So we're just going to go round by round?
We got to go snake.
Got to go snake.
But how do we determine the picks?
The wheel.
Or TJ.
Or yeah, wheel to see where it starts and then go from there.
You can save that one, TJ.
Save it.
We might revisit it.
I'd like to see everyone's best three.
Because you're an idiot.
You're going to take smart food. I think it's just unprecedented to go 60% through a tier and then change it to a draft.
This show kind of is unprecedented in the fact that we don't do anything.
This is anarchy.
The rules don't apply anymore.
We can just do anything.
By the way, if you don't pick smart food in your top three, you're fake as hell.
I might not.
Hey, you are fake as hell.
I like the barbecue chips better.
You're a fake ass bitch.
I like the chips better.
It's too late now.
Just because people are hating on it, you better stick to your guns.
I think it's crazy.
Somebody else in here likes that popcorn.
Yeah, but I'm not picking it in a vending machine.
I am.
I like it.
I want sustenance.
There's still the same amount of food in a popcorn bag in a...
Calorically light.
It's been the real wheel, too, TJ.
Get that out of the way.
I like never...
We should just always just start tearing shit and never finish it
just edging everyone you should only fill out the middle tier then quit
good try
what did that mean
uh some guy just walked by looked at nick, and tapped the bottom of his shoe.
That was Manoli.
He's a toe walker.
That's good.
You finished your milkshake that quickly?
That was bullshit.
You got stuck with a bullshit milkshake.
That's why I ordered a strawberry.
I was the only one.
It was easy.
I got vanilla in it.
TJ, who goes first?
It was vanilla, vanilla, too.
You didn't even have one vanilla, much less fucking multiple vanillas.
You guys want to switch it up or use the same format?
What kind of different format would we use?
There's a bunch of snack food formats.
I just want to see everyone's specific taste.
Yeah.
Top three.
You want to do Morgan & Morgan first?
Oh, yeah, do Morgan & Morgan. You're not going to get a top three. Morgan & Morgan. I get to do an? Oh yeah, do Morgan & Morgan.
You're not going to get top three.
Morgan & Morgan.
I get to do an ad?
Yeah, do an ad.
Wow.
Sorry, I'm befuddled.
Listen, if you've been injured in an accident,
Morgan & Morgan makes it easy for you.
You can file a claim online, upload pictures, which is evidence,
text your lawyer, get a settlement direct deposit.
You can do it all online in Morgan & Morgan.
Do almost everything from your phone.
They are America's largest injury law firm.
That's Morgan & Morgan.
They have over 800 lawyers nationwide,
over $15 billion recovered so far,
over 100 offices, over 30 years of experience.
The fee?
It's free.
You only pay if you win.
And you're going to win.
I think.
Visit ForThePeople.com slash yak and dial pound law.
Or hashtag law, but I guess on the phone it's pound law to start a claim.
That's Morgan & Morgan. Visit ForThePeople.com slash yak
or dial pound law
to start a claim today.
Morgan & Morgan.
Shout out Matt Morgan.
Two time. Hell yes.
Two time what?
Ready team?
I thought he was going to be a big deal.
Politician though.
Out of Florida.
Where?
I have an interview in seven minutes.
You're going to tell him that you're drafting.
Yeah, no, we're going to draft.
I'm going to draft.
I will tell him that.
I'm going to fucking draft.
So you go first.
Take the first pick.
No, no, no.
Spin the wheel and see who gets first pick.
I'm not uncouth.
Should that be the order whoever it is just go backwards
from there yeah you go around from there okay
okay all right ron no wait are we going shay or kb which one which direction are we going
no no we should it only makes sense if we stick inside the room.
So, it's either go Roan, KB, like around. I see.
Or this way.
I see.
Let's go Roan, KB.
Roan, KB, TJ, Che, Kate, Nick, Brandon, me, me.
I'm back.
Okay.
I just fucked myself.
I'm the one who's truly fucked.
Your order also made no sense.
So I have last pick in the draft.
In the draft, yeah.
In the second round.
But in the whole draft, since it's three rounds, he has the last pick.
Last pick.
All right, can you pull up the list?
I'll be there in one minute.
All right.
I'll go Cool Ranch to your readers Great first pick
Andrew Luck of the draft
TJ
What's this order?
Jesus Christ
Oh no KB sorry KB
Everybody have your pick ready.
Yeah, have your pick ready.
Have a backup.
I'm going the flavor twists, the Fritos.
Ah, great pick.
I know it wasn't falling to me.
Reese's Cups.
Oh, you're going to go to TJ?
Womp womp.
Reese's Cups.
Ah!
Jay.
Fuck.
I might not make it out of this draft.
Lose this pick.
You should be ready.
Come on, Che.
I'm going with my gut.
Plain Skittles.
Oh, and that's where the draft board changes.
Holy shit.
Wow, this football operations guy.
Oh, my God.
The purple Doritos.
Oh, good pick. Good pick.
Damn it.
Scroll down for me, please.
Okay.
Yeah, good looking
board.
Go ahead and give me
the Kit Kat bar.
Yeah, good.
Let's hope it didn't fall to me. Brandon?
We'll take the barbecue Lay's. Ooh, okay. I was hoping it'd fall to me. Brandon? We'll take the barbecue Lay's.
Ooh.
Okay.
I will take the Twix.
That's a good choice.
And Cheetos Puffs.
I will take the Smart Popcorn.
Oh, there it is.
It would have been there at the very end of the draft.
It wouldn't have.
Oh, my God.
Brandon's putting together a terrible draft.
No, I'm not.
That's a great draft.
Oh, my God.
TJ, go ahead and give me Nacho Doritos.
Are there chocolate pieces in this strawberry?
That's great value, Nick.
That's great value, Nick.
Hater's going to be sick.
Honey bun.
Honey bun.
Reach.
Big time reach.
Che, back to you.
Chocolate plain M&Ms.
All right.
Oh, Che.
You canned it up.
Yeah.
Remind you, this is you eating everything all at the same time.
Oh, what?
Yeah.
M&M's and Skittles.
I don't hate it.
I'll take sour cream and onion.
Great pick, TJ.
He has a good draft, draft yeah might have the best
draft kb tj might have the best draft don't you dare do it give me the starburst oh he's not happy
about that one enjoy the rappers in your car yeah Have fun eating the red ones.
I'm going to take the
Snickers.
That's a good one.
And
Sour Patch Kits.
Rone has a solid,
solid draft.
Those could be three first rounders.
He's so good.
Who am I up?
Yep.
Flamin' Hot Cheetos.
Sour Skittles.
That's a good one.
Shit.
Plain Lays.
Oh. Plain Lays Oh Hell look at
Steven is the most generic guy ever
Skittles, M&M's and Plain Lays
Just because it's chalk doesn't mean it's not good
Okay Kate
Oh it's me, Airheads, sorry
I have a mixed three things
Sweet, savory
I do like that
And you know we still have the big Texas on the Sweet, savory. I do like that.
And, you know, we still have the big Texas on the board,
but I think I got to go salt and vinegar.
Did I nab them, Brandon?
That was going to be my comeback pick, but that's okay because I wanted Hershey's cookies and cream right here.
I like that.
Do we have enough to do another round?
Four rounds?
Mm-hmm.
All right, so we should do four picks each.
I'll go Welch's, fruit snacks, and hot fries.
You have a good, you have a pretty strong mix right there, I gotta say.
From every category.
Yep.
I don't really like anything left on the board.
Gosh.
Give me the Big Texas.
It's great.
This is an emotional pick.
Give me the Funyuns.
Okay.
I got to see what's left.
I got to...
I'm torn between two things.
I'm going to go with the party mix.
This, by the way...
We're going to have some undrafted food.
You guys realize we are kind of doing the tiers in itself.
Yeah, I think...
Whatever's left should be the S tier.
Or the F tier.
F tier, yeah.
I got Salt and Vine vinegar and Funyuns.
My list sucks.
Yeah, my list sucks.
Yeah, I have a pretty bad selection.
I'm going to go with the grandma cookies.
Yeah, yeah, take them.
Big Cam Che has them.
Oh, no.
Big Cam Che.
Oh, Che, you're so generic.
How am I generic?
It's generic.
Like, there's nothing cool about...
Yeah.
You just drafted all offensive line.
Filled in the trenches.
That's what we do here.
Fuck.
Okay, who's up?
TJ?
Swedish Fish.
KB?
The Swedish Fish fell a little bit.
They were smoking weed out of a gas mask.
Character concerns.
Starburst gummies.
Mr. Irrelevant?
You got Starburst and Starburst gummies?
Yes.
Cheetos and Fritos.
Give me those Flamin' Hot Funyuns, brother.
Those two share A Twitter account
So wait
We accidentally
McCourty Twins
If you look at the first
Column
That is our S tier
A, B, C
Oh, except the smart food
Shouldn't be in the B
Well, that's the A tier, isn't it?
A tier, yeah
Oh, that really did do it
Yeah, we did it
That's really smart
We actually did it
Like, look at the S tier
Those are all picks Outside of maybe Skittles Steve and Shay Yeah, we did it. That's really smart. We actually did it. Look at the S tier.
Those are all picks outside of maybe Skittles, Stephen Shea.
Just erase Stephen Shea's job.
How do you guys not like Skittles?
I like them, but not the first pick.
Wait, who has the best?
Roan. Roan.
Let me see.
He has fucking Cool Ranch Snickers Sour Patch.
I think TJ's might also.
TJ's is up there.
I would say Roan, Big Cat, and TJ.
Mine is not only bad, but it's not a reflection of my taste.
How did you do that?
I don't know.
I was trying to impress people, I guess.
What's the worst pick of the draft?
Smart food.
No, it's not.
Second round.
This is bullshit, and it needs to stop right now.
You know good and goddamn well that popcorn is good.
All of you know it's good.
Kyle Vinegar was still on the board.
Round two sucks.
I thought people loved Starburst.
I personally don't.
You're trying to win the audience.
I thought that people loved the pink.
White cheddar smart food is the worst type of popcorn.
No.
Yes. White cheddar smart food is fantastic. What of popcorn. No. White cheddar smart food is fantastic.
What type of popcorn is it better than?
I can't get movie theater popcorn in a vending machine.
Okay.
Keep going.
Kate, I hate the honey bun in the second round.
I hate that pick.
What are you thinking?
You had the worst picks.
I feel like none of you survived off vending machines.
You're a starburst out the wahoo.
That was sustenance.
That was like sustenance when I was in high school and college.
That was a filler.
Stephen Chay's entire draft is like a La Quinta Inn.
Like, you know, they have the little.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They have just that.
Like a bottle of water.
All my favorites.
No imagination.
None.
None.
You can't dream at all.
I don't share a win in the last two case races about playing Lays.
It's a fact.
What?
Huh?
What the fuck?
What did you just say?
You know what?
I was pounding plain lace.
I got Nick a bag last race.
Didn't we just eat this afterwards?
No, I ate it during.
What are you mad about?
Googling Smart Pop.
I just can't imagine a world where you're like, this is delicious.
Smart Pop's better.
Pirate's Booty's better.
Oh, none of that's better.
Yes, Pirate's Booty is better than Smart Food.
100%. Not even A tier, not a is better than Smart Food. 100%.
Not even A tier, not a B tier.
Smart Food, White Cheddar Popcorn is an S tier snack.
Half the bag was always undone and seeds in your teeth at the end.
The only reason Smart Food ever became popular is idiots like me thought it made you smarter.
I thought it was healthy. I thought it was the healthiest snack. Yeah, that's like... I was a kid. I thought it was healthy.
I thought it was the healthiest snack.
Yeah, that's it.
I still didn't want to have it.
They got along on that.
You still think it makes you smart, don't you?
Oh, I think it's delicious.
I buy two family-sized bags every time I go to the...
You open up when you go on a field trip,
and they're like,
oh, we got a lunch for everyone,
and it's a fucking apple and smart food
and a peanut butter and jelly.
Boo.
Brandon should have eaten some smart food before the dozen.
Oh!
Y'all only beat us because of a guessing game.
A guessing game.
That's how y'all beat us.
Trivia.
You got the bonus round, which was a guessing game.
Technically, it's all a guessing game.
No, it's not.
Technically.
But if your guess was really close, it was probably based on something.
One guy said I was spoiling it because I said Brandon needed a win yesterday.
Brandon said Brandon needed a win.
Correct.
It was because his life sucks.
My life is fine, but I walk in here
and you're saying to me loss after loss.
You want me to lose?
No.
Sometimes it feels like you come in here with smart food.
Yeah, he doesn't.
You wouldn't even let me.
You wouldn't let me for five seconds act like I knew Ian Rappaport.
No, you're right.
I would.
Yeah.
Then you come in with smart food and we're like, yeah, this guy needs it.
I want to do one more.
Okay.
I got to go, but let's do it quick. Let's just do. Okay. I got to go, but let's do it quick.
Let's just do our anime.
I got to go, but let's just do it.
Yeah, let's just do it quick.
Let's just do wrestling.
I really got to go, but let's fucking just do it.
Let's draft anime.
No, nobody knows anime.
It'll be fun.
Do serials again.
We could do serials.
Draft serials.
I'll draft serials.
Or we could draft team logos. Oh, God. All right, I should go, because I do actually Cereals. Or we could draft Team Logos.
Oh, God.
All right, I should go because I do actually have an interview.
Fuck, I want to do Team Logos.
Write down your draft board.
All four big sports?
We'll auto-pick for you.
Yeah, do auto-pick.
Auto-pick?
Auto-pick my draft.
Okay, we'll auto-pick your draft.
TJ, you have to close your eyes and just click one.
What is the topic?
Big four team logos.
Yeah, but most of these are already on Tiermakers,
so it's not like he's just going to be able to.
I know.
Well, I was making an excuse for you.
Thanks.
Not that you need it because your work is exemplary.
I'm tweeting out the.
That's why you're doing the Mark Titus show.
Vending machine so you could vote on who had the best one.
Gets hired to the company and you just run to him.
Suck my dick.
Just as fast as you can.
Anybody come up with a name for my show with Titus yet?
Yeah.
I don't have a name yet.
You got a show with Titus?
Yeah.
There's two of you guys, and you both talk sports.
You're both guys.
I like Mr. Sports.
What about...
There's two of you.
Tight Brandon.
Well, that's...
The first start of Titus.
And my name.
And then full name.
Tight Brandon.
Tight Brand.
Tight Brand.
No. Tight Brandon. Tight Brand. Tight Brand. No.
Tight Walker.
I don't have to walk on a tightrope the whole time?
Brandish.
It should be a short, very short, four-letter or less word.
Crotchables.
What about woohoo?
Stop, Jay.
I can't say anything without people.
All right.
A four-letter word.
Everyone's always like, let's fucking go.
You just be like, LFG with Titus and Brandon
That was a poor decision
What's the show gonna be about?
It's a sports debate show
It's gonna be about mostly sports
Every day
What about just calling them balls?
What about baiting with Titus and Brandon?
Baiting with tight Brandon
I like mostly sports now I don't like Tight Brandon. I like Mostly Sports Now.
I don't like the Now.
I like Mostly Sports.
Why?
That makes it, it's Now.
Every show is Now.
Thank you.
When you're watching it.
Mostly Sports Currently.
Remember, Nike was going to be Dimension 6.
They never would have taken off.
What about Talking Balls?
Four letters.
All.
Yes.
A podcast just called Ball would hit.
You got to think like Nike.
It's not a podcast.
What is it?
What about like an onomatopoeia, Brandon?
Yeah, what about a sex joke?
Or like oof.
Oh.
Oof.
Oops, the podcast.
You could be oof.
Eek.
What are we drafting?
About fart. Not like glebe and glebe
name it fart
fart
yeah fart
you name it fart
taken
fart taken
TJ can you search
the podcast charts
for fart
fart the podcast
the whole acronym
podcast of just a guy farting
that was a good one
thank you
yeah That was a good one. Thank you.
What are you trying to do, Kyle?
I'm trying to get the rice out of my cheeks.
So are you.
I wasn't going to fart.
Hey, yo, you got rice in your cheeks?
I'll put my gums and shit.
Yo, Paul. Al dente?
Yeah. I'll open my gums and shit Yo, boy Al Dente? Yeah
Okay
Okay
So I go first because I won the last one?
No, you don't
We have to wheel it
TJ, did you see like the 12-year-olds who do this on TikTok?
And the one has like a
Oh, yeah
I know who you're talking about
They got banned
They were the best They got kicked off for being they get kicked off oh for being too young i think
so one had like the like name the most populated city the kid with rhodicism was the meanest one
yeah i actually made a video of it clipping the best part.
Okay.
All right.
Logos.
Let's spin the wheel to see who goes first with Logos.
And we're just picking the worst team for Big Cat, right?
Oh, fuck. All right, Kyle.
Actually, I don't know what people like.
AB to Kate.
Okay.
Why worry about what people like?
That's how this works.
Who was after KB last time?
Did it go from KB to Kate or did it go Booth?
From KB to Kate.
No, it was KB to Booth.
It was KB to Booth.
It was KB to TJ to Che to Kate.
All right, Kyle.
I'll hurry up.
I'll hurry up.
All right.
Take your time, brother.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, there's a lot.
Remember that it's still the –
Are we just picking one of each sport or just the top four?
Just four.
Just four.
Let's not call it. No, I think you should have to go one of each sport? Or just the top four? Just four. Let's not call them.
I think you should have to go one of each sport.
All right.
Okay.
Why don't you have a football when you're done in the NFL?
Yeah.
All right.
Okay.
Just a sec.
Okay.
The Pittsburgh Penguins.
Wow.
That's a good one.
Top tier for sure.
Good logo.uins. Wow. That's a good one. Top tier for sure. Good logo.
Yep.
Yep.
All right.
Oh, it's me.
Shit.
Oh, it's CJ.
Okay.
Brandon, you and I might be similar here, I think.
I think Nick's going to cook us on some graphic theory or something.
No, no, no.
This is straight up as vain as it can be.
Straight up looks.
It depends what...
It's subjective, though.
Yeah.
So is the other one.
No.
The other one was definitive.
Hey, you got a fucking pick.
We're going to be here forever.
Shut up, Brandon.
You shut up, TJ.
I like this energy, TJ.
The podcast listeners, he's thinking.
Uh-huh. Sharks. Not too hockey off the board.
Wow.
There's a lot of good hockey logos.
Might be a run on hockey.
Hockey logos are good.
Yep.
I think there's going to be.
I'm going off.
It's still not your fucking.
What the fuck?
Sorry.
Baltimore Orioles.
Orioles.
Wow.
I like that.
There was a debate online yesterday
if his mouth is open or closed.
How would it be open?
There was somebody outlined it
where it's black, his chin.
What?
Bottom of his mouth.
There was a debate.
There was a debate had.
It's a beak.
Oh, I see that, yeah.
If you look at it the right way.
Oh, wow.
I don't see it.
Top beak and then just
mouth open.
Huh. Kate?
Okay, scroll down a little bit
for me. You were eager to go just seconds
ago. I know, I'm torn between two and I'm going
off the way it makes me feel.
I love those little, I hate the team.
Why don't you take that Washington one next to the
Sabres?
Not a fan
of the General U Ora or the people,
but I love those little red socks.
Yeah, they're cute as a button.
They're cute as a button.
Agreed.
Right there.
On the right.
Right there.
Where's the bottom?
They're just cute.
Give me the Detroit Red Wings.
Yeah, that's a good one.
A guy out at a bar with one of those jerseys on,
there's something hot about it.
Khaki shorts.
You're just saying.
Yep, with khaki shorts.
Always.
Yep, something about it.
Might be a little controversial here.
Yeah.
I know.
Uh-oh.
The star?
Dallas Cowboys. Give me the Dallas Cowboys logo. I know. Uh-oh. The star? The Dallas Cowboys logo.
I was considering.
Dallas Cowboys logo
is an incredible logo.
It's Big Cat now, so it's auto-picked.
TJ, just zip around. Yeah, close your
eyes and just... And stop.
Stop. Oh,
it's horrible.
Oh, it's horrible.
Oh, it's stuck in this weird graphic doldrum.
Okay, I'm back to back right now?
Yeah.
Give me the Bulls, then give me the Yankees.
Ah!
Oh, you put Yankees first. Bulls first, then Yankees.
Don't you worry, child.
Yeah, the Bulls is another good one.
Yeah, Bulls is great. Who went first? So it's Big Cat now. Big worry, child. The Bulls is another good one. Yeah, Bulls is great.
Who went first?
So it's Big Cat now.
Big Cat, random.
Random.
Stop.
Do we still have to pick one of each sport?
One of each sport.
So I got to see the board.
I'm torn between a couple here.
Oh. Mm-hmm. I want to be sport. So I got to see the board. I'm torn between a couple here. I don't know.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Give me – I can get that one later.
Hockey's got it figured out.'re all good all good and i'm gonna take hockey here i'm gonna take the boston bruins all bottom it's at the bottom all the way to the bottom
i've got my football i've had the bear on it, maybe.
It's a good logo.
TJ, can you scroll down and see what we got left?
Okay.
Interesting stuff left.
I hate that they have the old Milwaukee Brewers logo, not the glove that they typically use.
Okay.
Fuck, hockey's just good at this.
They're damn good at this.
Let's go, Nick.
Thank you, thank you.
Come on, Nick.
Roan, with your encouragement, it's helped me narrow it down.
No.
And I think I'm going to go.
No.
With. No. No. No. and I think I'm going to go with No!
No!
No!
Don't you
fucking do it. Go with what's on your hat?
What's on my hat?
Pittsburgh Pirates. Oh, no.
Okay. I want to go with
the Indianapolis Colts.
Wow.
Okay, Kate.
This is going off a feeling.
This logo eviscerates a story for me.
I'm walking on a beach in the Keys.
Nothing left.
Amnesia.
I come upon a guy with a boat.
He's in his 50s He's leather tan
Good lord
He's leather tan
And this is tattooed on his calf
And he's like
Do you want to go for a boat ride?
I'm like
I don't know if I should
I'm either going to have a good time
Or I'm going to get
Yeah
Great
There it is
No no
No
It's actually the Dolphins logo
Oh I don't like the new one
It's their worst logo
Something about it just I can see that Eviscerates a feeling No, it's actually the Dolphins logo. Oh, I don't like the new one. It's their worst logo.
Something about it just eviscerates a feeling.
Stop saying eviscerates.
I know.
Basketball really doesn't have that many good logos.
Because they have to have a basketball in them.
Is that true? I believe if you rebrand, you've got to have a basketball in it for people that don't speak English.
Huh. Huh.
Wow.
Che?
I always liked this.
Yeah, I'm going to go with the Portland Trailblazers.
That's a good one.
You like that?
I do.
I don't really.
Because all the NBA ones kind of stink,
but I like that, whatever that thing is.
It's, yeah.
Right there.
Unless, yeah.
Okay.
Well, kill me softly.
DJ.
Yes.
I should have waited for hockey.
They're all good.
Yep, they're all good.
There's one particular hockey that I – Hockey's coming back around.
That's why I play the board.
Let's go, Jay.
I'll do Titans.
Is this interesting?
Flame and thumbtack.
God, no.
Give me the Chicago Bulls.
Oh, it's taken.
Come on, brother.
Yo.
Give me the –
Come on, bro. Give him the Yo. Give me the Milwaukee Bucks.
Yes.
I love that.
My eyes on the Bucks.
I love that new blue that they have.
Oh, I go again?
The Bucks neck is an M for Milwaukee.
I have them on the board.
And the basketball is in the negative shape of the antlers.
What do you think of that woman that's doing the rebrands?
Give me the Green Bay G.
Ooh!
You don't like that?
That makes me feel bad.
Dude's hung up on history.
I think it's iconic.
I think it's iconic, too.
I'm with you on that one, Kyle.
Oh, man.
Every good one my eye stops on is hockey.
Where's the board?
I need to know my board.
What do I need?
Baseball and basketball.
Okay.
It's a logo taking his time.
I got two I one first round.
Chicago Blackhawks.
Yeah, it's a good one.
It has not been canceled yet.
There's one that I can't believe hasn't been taken yet.
Is it me? Oh, great. The musical musical note i don't even know what that's for
jazz no no that yeah that's the one that's the one yeah that little musical note
yeah we're up to nick and he's peeing so can we just see the board for a second right now
why would he possibly pee right now and then the whole yeah, go down. There's a logo I can't find that I'm
looking for. He's just Googling best
logos. He doesn't have to do that.
I'm sorry. Are the St. Louis Cardinals
not on this list? They are.
Okay, I see them finally.
I haven't picked them yet.
I need to look at them.
Tipping picks, Brandon? Come on.
I needed to see it.
Open your eyes it Open your eyes
Open your eyes
Did he have to pee
Why would he pee right now
I don't understand
Why you pee right now
You can't pee
You're in the middle of a draft
Have you guys seen the movie
Vanilla Sky
I think one of the more
Underrated
What prompted that thought
Open your eyes
Should we duck our head What prompted that thought? Open your eyes.
Should we duck our head in the bathroom and just ask him his pick?
Maybe.
When the Blues were in the final game,
Stanley Cup,
I went to the New York City Blues bar here.
There was a hole in the wall.
People were like,
you see that guy over there?
It was a baseball player.
He was married, and he was not with his wife.
Was it a famous baseball player?
Yeah.
It wasn't.
I don't know.
I still don't remember the name of what they told me.
But he definitely looked like, you're like, oh, that's a pro.
You know when you see an athlete and you're like, oh, that's a.
And people were like, guess who that is.
And guess what?
Hot scuttlebutt.
What bar was it?
It was a blues bar here in New York City.
The genre of music or the team?
No, the team.
The team.
It was when they were in the Stanley.
Oh, yeah.
It's like a hopping.
I went to do a blog, like to write about it.
Oh, he's probably hanging out with YP.
You went to P as your pick.
I didn't go to P in my head.
Yeah, you did.
Yeah, you did.
Thank you guys for waiting.
That's my hot sports story.
We didn't want to wait.
Rowan said go ahead.
What the hell?
Can you scroll down?
What sports do I need?
Nobody knows what you have.
Anyways, a few months later, they got divorced.
That's what I need.
Baseball and basketball, huh?
Yeah.
Brandon had his eyes on the St. Louis Cardinals.
I know that he was kind of eyeing that up.
That gives you a sense of
where the board's falling, Nick.
I feel like you weren't in the room.
I need baseball
and basketball.
Give me...
Oh, fuck.
What?
I need baseball and basketball.
Is there something wrong here?
No.
Am I being fooled?
Baseball and basketball, huh?
I'm freaking out.
Just one now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's not like you're the local guy.
Give me the St. Louis Cardinal.
Very nice, Nick.
Good choice.
Very nice.
Love birds.
Good.
That clears me to get the Boston Celtics,
which should not have dropped this far.
I would like the Boston Celtics.
You like a little man?
The bottom.
It's a great logo.
A cute little man.
Is he smoking a pipe?
Uh-oh.
He's holding a basketball.
Let's randomize for Big Cat.
It can't be basketball or football. And stop. He's holding a basketball. Let's randomize for Big Cat. It can't be basketball or football.
And stop.
That's basketball.
Stop.
That is football.
The Tampa Bay Bucs.
Oh, it can't be basketball or football.
Stop.
Baseball.
That's a good one.
Yeah, that's good.
Good stadium. And I'm an angel. Yeah, that's good. Good stadium.
And I'm Angels.
Yes, it is.
The big A.
And so I'm going to go ahead.
Yeah, it's you.
Two picks for you, right?
Yes.
Come back this way.
I'm going to take the Montreal Canadiens.
Yes.
A little un-American of you.
And I'm going to have football, and I'm between the 49ers and the Eagles.
I don't like that little space of the F behind the S.
You don't like that?
Nah.
I like that logo a lot.
I like it too, but you and I both like the...
All right, I'll go Eagles then.
And you were too red on the draft.
Cleveland Browns still live in the world.
Can you scroll up real quick so I can see what I still need
so I can think ahead?
Eagles have a hidden E in their logo.
That's right.
Oh, yeah.
The NFL that goes left.
Get you new basketball.
Oh, I need basketball.
Okay, got it.
Thank you.
Big Cat needs hockey.
Hockey.
Just find a hockey logo.
Give them the Phoenix Coyotes.
You don't make the rules.
Give them Toronto Maple Leafs.
It's going to take forever doing it this way.
Forever.
We have to.
We do have to.
We have to, yeah.
Stop.
No.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Maybe next time.
Stop.
Just as I thought.
Yeah.
That's a pretty good one.
Yeah, it is.
All right.
We only going four rounds here?
We're going to go.
We only have four, a big four, yeah.
So I'll take, to close mine, the Kansas City Royals.
Nice.
Really good pick.
Really?
I feel comfortable.
I like it. I like it.
I feel good.
Yours are clean, Brandon.
Yours are clean.
I'm on your ass, though.
What sport do I need?
Basketball.
Those are the worst.
You need badminton.
I need badminton.
I don't take mine.
I have a good one.
Basketball, basketball, basketball.
I don't even see any on here.
I love my basketball.
You have the Nets.
Give me the Golden State Warriors.
Yeah, I like that.
I am going New York Knicks.
She's very basketball-y. I wonder how they thought to make that their logo yeah simple and to the point i was torn between that and lakers
i'm gonna do what you don't think i'm gonna do
i'm not gonna pick the bucks here i think the seattle seahawks have a superior logo.
Plus they got that Nike hookup.
I like the Cubs logo, too.
Something cozy about it.
Me, too.
Okay.
TJ, you need baseball.
The Browns logo is a pretty ridiculous logo.
Everybody's got hockey filled out.
We're not going to get the Maple Leafs or the Avs. Maple Leafs not being picked is crazy.
Maple Leafs and the Avs?
Maple Leafs is a good one.
The Toronto Blue Jays.
Blue Jays.
Calgary Flames is good.
I like the Pittsburgh P a lot, but it's not too bad.
I'll go with the Cubs.
Is that it? There's your draft. I'll go with the Cubs. Is that it?
There's your draft.
There you go.
There it is.
I like the Bills, too.
I won.
No.
I won.
Look how cute mine are.
I think it's...
Nobody took the lightning.
Cowboys and Bruins does not beat Bulls and Yankees.
I don't like the Yankees logo.
The NY? That's not an NY. I beat Bulls and Yankees. I don't like the Yankees logo.
The NY?
That's not an NY.
That's not what you have.
You have the baseball bat with the hat.
Yeah, that's busy.
That's busy as fuck.
That looks like a hot air balloon on top of a bat.
It's also used on none of their uniforms.
Whoa.
They don't even like it.
Buyer's remorse much, Adam?
The NY.
The NY is the logo. It's not the NY.
It was the NY.
I would have taken that 1-1.
We're not doing hats.
All right.
So if someone had picked the Washington Redskins, you think that that would have been the logo
that we put up there?
Well, that-
They were on there.
That's what I mean.
They were on there, but that's not the logo that's used.
Nobody was going to take the Commander's logo.
I don't know who won.
Probably Brandon.
Probably Brandon.
Yeah.
Yeah, probably Brandon.
I like Kyle.
I'm top five.
I've got to be top three.
Love it.
The Dolphins logo is a bad logo,
and I'm a Dolphins fan.
Yeah, actually, I think I had the best.
It tells a story.
You know it.
It doesn't tell a story.
You see that tattooed on somebody,
you know exactly.
I remember to see their old logo.
That's tattooed on somebody.
They're young.
That?
Yeah.
That logo is about eight years old.
I'm just saying in general,
Dolphins tattoo,
you know,
the kind of person
and they're usually fun.
They're a little
rough around the edges,
but they're fun.
Good people.
43% of voters believe that smart popcorn is elite.
39% say it's fine, and 18% say no, it's trash.
Most people think it's not elite.
So most of everybody thinks it's not elite.
Elite is winning.
Most people think it's not elite. Elite is winning. Most people think it's not elite. So most of everybody thinks it's not Elite. Elite is winning. Most people think it's not Elite.
Elite is winning.
Most people think it's not Elite.
It's a fallacy.
It's three options.
Should have been two options.
It's crazy that it got that many.
I didn't know it was that popular.
You like breaking your teeth.
Y'all want to shut our own down?
Yeah.
Yep.
Me, Kate, and Ron have got to go
do the rundown.
Yeah.
I'm out tomorrow.
We'll run and be
safe.
Oh, yeah.
Live show?
Live show in Boston.
Please come through.
Tickets for sale all
over the place.
Come through.
We'll probably just
let you in the
building.
Yeah.
All right.
I'll see you.
See ya.
It's the act. It'll see you next time.