The Yak - Steven Has the Perfect Nickname for Jayden Daniels | The Yak 9-30-24
Episode Date: September 30, 2024Big Cat is back and ready for the 2028 OlympicsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool....link/barstoolyak
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Holy shit, did I miss you guys so much.
Welcome back, Big Cash. Yeah. Hey, welcome back. I missed you guys
So goddamn much it felt like there was a hole in my heart for an entire week
and I just would see you guys sparingly and
Yeah, I fucking missed you guys who won I
Just miss you guys. Yeah, it's fucking it sucked not being on the show. I told Titus
One day I was like yeah
I saw one tweet being like is yak better without big cat mentally destroyed me. It's all
You guys had a great week. It seems like I'm so out of the loop
I'm very happy to you guys because we talked about it before this offices. It's still a chaos
They're still cleaning up
But I was like without being able to use the court you guys got to figure out something to do for an entire week
And that was a perfect we got lucky alicek
This show is the number one FOMO vehicle. I have in my life. Oh certainly you've second you miss one show
You just feel like gone everything the everything's higher week, and you missed an awesome fucking week
I'm like this was a little bit suicidal on your end big cat
Because you told us to do it this week. We wait for you to get back
I told you guys I had a conversation with Nick whatever was ten days ago, and I was like hey
I really want to do the malice like dating show
But you guys got to do it when surviving is going on because you're not gonna be able to use any of the office
You're basically trapped in here, and yeah, it hurt me to have to give that away.
But at least I get to see the ending of it.
You get to see it in person,
the most important part, the top three.
So can you guys pick me up to speed a little bit?
Che has been picking me up to speed, but it's Che.
Oh, that's right, Jake Malicek's a piece of shit.
Okay, so is he just, as far as I understand,
he is essentially Jack Blat, or no no George Costanza from how shallow how oh?
Yeah, yeah, didn't get a tail at me. Did he have a tail?
No, he was like he would he would find a girl that was like a ten out of ten, but her
Middle toe was longer than precise. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, like gross couldn't do it his mind is as open as a circuit city
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like gross couldn't do it. His mind is as open as a circuit city
Morals as loose as TJ's teenage trousers
With a margin for tape like his taste margin is so narrow. I love it
But we found three right? Yeah. Yeah, we're down to three and and I was talking with Che and everyone we're gonna do
Wednesday Thursday Friday for the solo dates because initially the plan was everyone on Tuesday I feel like you got to give him some time give it time to breathe
The way you could you could sum it all up as malice sec has a type. He just doesn't know what it is
That's how we that's where you're right
But his story arc has been first day douchebag
Second day douchebag third day dropped trauma on us and it explained what it was so we were more sympathetic
What was the trauma? Yeah his origin story?
There was a voicemail to an ex-girlfriend that leaked at age 14 in high school and everybody in the high school had the voicemail
Quoted it to him for all four yearsicemail. It's really sappy. Oh, shit. They were warm and they quoted it to him
for all four years of school.
That's why he hates all women.
100% thoughts.
Right, and then we were like, felt some sympathy.
Not long, though.
And then Mark asked him,
what if they're ugly?
And then Malicex's like, they're out.
Oh.
So it was just like, he squandered that.
It's a Jamie Lannister arc.
Damn, I didn't know that happened.
But these girls
Nailed their submissions. Okay, they were so thorough. They were so good. They were so like
Appealing can I see the three finalists the the things they submitted? I know we're not revealing a text them to you
Oh sure. Oh, yeah, we also promise we also promise to give away your money. Oh, yeah Yeah, I heard about that. I heard about that
$2,000 happy to do it. I
Assume that with the $2,000 of giving way I get to decide the date. Oh
Well, well, that's another girls kind of that was one of their submissions. Okay, cuz I was gonna say for $2,000 roughly
Malisek in the date are going to be
babysitting for my entire
And they'll get $2,000
Three kids Adam and a dog and a dog throw three kids in a dog. How about that buddy?
That would be funnier than like a home for it it and I would pay them as you pay a babysitter
What if yeah, what about they can just take the kids to I mean all three of them were hockey games
Mm-hmm. Wait all three of the the finalists want to go to a hockey want to go to a
Yeah, they did
One did say yes, I see what's happening now
Yeah, they could just take happening now. Um yeah,
they could just take my kids. Yeah, one of the hockey games
was in Toronto. Yeah, we did have pass. We didn't volunteer
your tickets. What we said was tell us your ideal date and all
three of them said hockey game, but they knew Jake was a
panda. Is Malysik like hockey? Kinda. I didn't even know that
about them. They all wanted to go to a dive bar. They all wanted to go to an outdoor patio and they all wanted to go to hockey. The money was necessary though, Big Cat, because we had to give the women a reason to stay in this competition. I'm not I'm not gonna use this word and I think I assume these women are very nice, but
I'm paying
$2,000 for a woman to hang out with Malisek. I bet there is a word for that. Oh, yeah
It's
Fetish there is a word they also have the option to just take the money without the malicex.
Got it.
But that would still make you a little pay pick.
Yeah.
No.
Did we think that part through?
No.
OK, not going to use the word.
Yeah.
But yeah, we're paying.
Just change the tenor of the show a little bit.
We're paying women to be with malicex.
Yeah.
To get them out of a funk.
Got it. Slisek. Yeah. To get him out of a funk. Got it.
Slump up.
Yeah.
There needs to be some sort of word for that.
You watching Malisek.
How incredible would it be if this actually ends up
in like a long-term relationship and they get married?
All these women should take just the money.
Okay.
Yeah.
Also, Kate likes them all more than Malisek does. Well, Kate has a heart. Okay. Yeah. Also, Kate likes them all more than Malasak does.
Well, Kate has a heart.
Correct.
Yeah.
Like, Kate feels human emotion.
Kate, I can't tell if last week was excruciating for you or delightful.
It was both.
It was both.
It hurt.
That's the perfect yak.
Yeah, it hurt.
I was uncomfortable, but I also really... They were funny.
Like, they were all... The submissions were very funny and clever and...
Funny for a... For a woman. They were funny for a girl. the submissions were very funny and clever and funny for a
For a woman
Lost me first, but yeah, no
He's a mouse X said there's no positives only negatives. He did say that at one point
He was like what do you what are you looking forward to tomorrow with whatever data?
We were going to get on the women. He's like, honestly, nothing. There's only negatives to be drawn from this.
What the fuck?
We're about a woman that likes you.
Yeah.
Only negative.
Only negatives.
So it was tough.
I'm excited.
Can I see the slides, Che, for the finalists?
Yeah.
So this is Taylor.
Oh, this is cute.
So when did you decide the three finalists?
How many girls was it?
20?
25, right? Holy shit. We had a couple dropouts. This is cute. When did you decide the three finalists? How many girls was it 20 20?
A couple dropouts. So he really just he just cut down like 17 girls like
Cut down to 11 at first then we cut down to 8 then 5 then 3. Okay, and so
They had to show their their their bedroom, which that one's a living room. I guess yeah, they had to show their fridge
They had to draw a picture of themselves. They had to show an outfit, their ideal outfit, and a couple more things.
This woman looks nice.
You see what she's watching on TV?
Ken Juggle, what is she watching, golf?
Oh, the act.
No, no, no.
Quick pick.
Hell yes.
She had to have just left it on after the act.
Bedtime, did you do bedtime. I asked her. Yes.
Bedtime?
Did you do bedtime for everyone?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Was kids a deal breaker or no?
It was a deal breaker.
Oh, good from Alisa.
Yeah.
Spend a little gopher run, play some unrealistic parlays.
Oh, I like this shit.
He judged their professions a lot.
There was one that worked at Google.
He struck her and said, don't brag about working at Google.
She said data analyst at Google.
He said she's bragging
Physically recoil was a woman who formerly was a mental health like helper
Disgusted by the therapy
Ivy League was a big no
Virginia that's why it's a big no think that's why to have that upper. He was okay that makes sense. I actually respect that
There was a top top top like 20 and lower or higher schools only this girl was a Duke
Med student yeah who said she had fat tits
And a former volleyball player and he that what he said she had to go what yeah Duke
She said she's not even a Duke fan she's just going there to get her
Clarified it is I think it's a good school
medical
Damn, all right, so that was the first one. Let me see the second one again fat juicy titties should just end the conversation
Yeah, you had me at fat juicy titties
We had an Australian. Yeah. Oh, this is a southern belle right to all of these women. They know about the yak
Oh, um all right. That's I don't know
So then this could work something two girls were submitted by guy this one right here included this one this guy so we had a testimonial from friends
And she had a guy that obviously was madly in love with her like holding back tears talking about her
I was one of the more painful. Oh, this is she's the former mental health therapist this girl is she?
pharma sales
Nice living room nice everything with a nice everything. Oh, we also heard their voices, too
Oh
And and she had the southern voice we heard an Australian accent the Australian accent the southern accent basically went straight to the finals
Mm-hmm soon as he heard the
Australians out she's oh oh she didn't go the finals. Okay, sorry. Oh, that's right. She lives in London.
She lives in London.
She was going to fly here.
That would be crazy.
That was Abby.
Abby J.
Abby J.
She said she discovered the Yak.
She moved to London for her job and had no friends
and didn't know anybody, stumbled across the show,
and it became her comfort show.
All right.
Oh, Abby J. What up?
Yeah.
All right, so then what was the last one?
So these are the three finalists,
and we're going to schedule them Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.
Crispy Fall, does Erica Kay?
Mm-hmm.
Crispy Fall.
He loved her bedroom, because it was nothing.
That was the biggest thing for her.
OK.
Love that.
I like her style.
She's Jewish and allergic to tissues.
What?
Yeah.
What does that mean?
A Jewish... you know that.
Yeah, but what is a tissue?
Yeah, allergic to tissues.
Well, he's got a bunch of allergies, so I think he found an allergy attractive.
Got it.
But allergic to tissues, which is...
What is he allergic to?
It's a vicious...
Peanuts, dogs, cats.
He has a dog.
Definitely allergic to peanuts.
Yeah, he has a high bar allergy.
She made the finals. The girl is allergic to most dogs, including to peanuts. Yeah, he has a high bar He made the finals the girls allergic to most dogs
Including his breathe no not his dog
His dogs party comment either way on the the Jewish part of this is this a plus or a minus or neither
I don't remember Erica came in I think third and almost every he assumed her last name was Klein
So she's she's got the
longest odds yeah see it's I think so what would you guys parties and that was
a turnoff to him yeah the boys yeah his only turn on now he hates weed he's
turned off by any expression of humanity got it he likes girls that watch bad reality TV. Yeah, I like that. I do I like bad reality. Yeah
So that's it. That's the only thing that he I think it's a clean slate though
I think when these girls get here, it's all just gonna come down to are they ugly?
But I think that's basically the number one that'll be fun
So so that's the number one thing we were talking about. What should we do?
I was thinking we do and you guys tell me because I'm very much out of the loop, but like
Hopefully we'll have the basketball court back because I would love we were saying upstairs
I would love to see them do the gauntlet and see Malisek will just tell us who he likes the most by
How he plays in goal? I would love although now that I'm thinking about it knowing Malisek
Would it be the one that he bullies the most? Oh, yeah
Yeah, he's flirting like Helga Pataki
Like she's just stuck on it for 25 minutes and he's like, I love her
Yeah, and then they do a little date in the kitchen Donnie will cook for them and then we can hear from both separately
How it went so we're not gonna make them sit in front of us and do the date
The world we can hear what they're saying? Let's have them mic'd up.
They can be mic'd up.
I think they should be sitting having the date
and we can check in and then after the date
they both have like, the girl comes in
tells us about Malasek, Malasek comes in.
What about we, instead of speed dating with multiple girls,
they do speed multiple dates.
So we'll do one putt-putt hole, they'll do one-
Oh, I love that. They'll watch a movie clip together. I love that. And we'll do one putt putt hole. They'll do one. I love that watch a movie clip together
I love that and he'll put his name once. Yeah, I
love that
That's I wanted to know if we could get a horse. Yeah, many cliche day. Yeah, yeah
And they have five minutes complete all the dates. They have to make a piece of pottery. Yeah. Yeah
Make the sunset on the big Jumbotrons. Yeah. Yeah.
Paint a wine and paint class. Yeah. Yeah. We should do that.
It should be speed dating. Speed dates. Yes. Speed dates. I
love that. It's a format. They come in first individually and
talk to us or what? You guys tell me. Well, we have to have
a time where where we have to have a side time where
where we have all three of them here at the same time right how do you how do we
determine the winner if all three of them aren't here at the same time because
he'll just tell us which one he liked the most I know but what if she's not
here that what if we have to come back what if we have the winner come back
yeah the winner will come back right I want these girls to look at each other and possibly fight.
No, no.
No, I think that's a bad idea.
Well.
It would be different if like their job was content.
I think.
Yeah, they should go separately.
He has to decide.
Our Friday episode, she comes out.
The winner?
Yeah.
We could do Tuesday through Thursday.
Yeah. And leave Friday open. Yeah. Yeah, Friday is the winner. we could do Tuesday through Thursday yeah only Friday open
yeah that makes right is the winner and then I'll give them two grand cash for
the weekend or for themselves or do you have for the girl but she if she takes
just the cash oh so wait is the cash not is it's a cash or malice it's a so I
strike everything I said previously from the right. Yeah, that's why that's what I was saying
I don't know why we had to give them we realized quickly
If Malisex the prize all these girls are gonna drop out got it to keep them
Engaged we said at the end you can either pick
Jay, it's nowhere near the word. I was saying yeah, it's right really different now. I get it. I was confused
So yeah, so they get so it's door one two thousand dollars cash door to Malisek, right?
That's actually smart because a
$1,000 date with Malisek or two thousand like the money they could either go on a date with Malisek with the money or take it
All for themselves. Oh, okay. I like that. That's yeah, that's that's yeah, because then
That'll be very funny if we go through all this and then at the end the girls like yeah
Yeah, I don't like this guy. She should do they have yeah, which also would be exactly what he deserved right? Yeah
She if she chooses the money she has to block him on all formats and slap him never talk to him again. Yeah
That should be fine. Yeah, easy. Yeah, it's really easy
Wait, do we want all three finalists together on Friday here? I mean,
or is it just one doesn't live here? So that might be tricky. So I think just have the
girl that wins be the surprise that comes out. Have the yeah, have the girl at wins
be the surprise comes out and have the one that doesn't live here go on Thursday. Yeah.
So if she's the winner, she can come back Friday potentially. Yep. Does that make sense?
Yep. Yeah, that sounds being whereas answer no okay good job Che do you feel like you made some friends along the way
yeah I mean this was fun on uh so I was out sick on Thursday and Friday but like
zoomed in to help coordinate and one of the contestants Mason sent me a bowl of soup on from chick play which is very nice. What it what a really sweet person
Why would she be interested?
Just these girls are incredible. I think
A bowl of chicken noodle soup because he was sick. We found like really good people
I know yes being matched up with today or human we've got yeah, are they aware that like there are other men out there
They might not be assumption that Jake Malisic is like the last man standing they might not be I
Think what I'm really hoping is that there's some cool yak dudes out there who see this and then they hit them up somehow
I don't know how yeah, maybe there will be Yak dudes to hit them up
Well, so we said this whole thing was just a test proof of concept for a real Connor Griffin one. Yes. Yes, that's true
Yeah, and again, Mackenzie wants to do one as well. Yeah, that's right. What's that? I love that you're opening a hole I
Would like that a lot. I think we should do the Mackenzie one with 2,000 dudes.
Cram the gym and she has to get rid of a thousand off the gate.
It's like a Mr. Beast video.
Yeah! I dated 2,000 dudes.
I thought about this and y'all can shoot it down if you want, but
we'll do the Connor Griffin show later maybe, but what if on Friday
they could choose Cash, they could choose cash they could choose
Malasek or at the very last minute Connor Griffin walks in with the tux on
oh they can choose the twist yeah I don't hate I'm down for any it's your
guys thing cuz I've been so out of the loop so whatever you guys think is the
best way to do it we should do it I don't want to like I'm very excited for
it but I also don't want to step in midway yeah so you guys we don't wanna, like I'm very excited for it, but I also don't wanna step in midway.
Yeah.
So you guys need, I like to conagraph it.
We're on the same page now.
We've just been going along.
I think this could be a network dating show though,
the process and like Jake, is Jake,
he plays for the Czech lacrosse team, right?
So we can call the dating show Cash or Czech.
Ooh, I like that.
And it's always a Czech, it's always a Czech douchebag.
You gotta keep getting checked.
They're looking for a Czech mate. Czech mate, oh my God. Czech mate. Holy shit. I like that and it's always a check. It's always a check douchebag. I keep getting checked
Shit
That's really good. It's a good shit boy, but Connor is the twist and the girls was like yeah. Oh shit I didn't know he was an option
Yeah, we just need to Connor needs to if he could photograph well, I know
That's his biggest problem. It's just door one is $2,000 cash door to mouse or three is a naked Connor Griffin. Yeah
Alright so what else I mean that was all last week, right was the whole that was all we did nothing Oh nothing. I love it. Yeah, and how's Malasek feeling mentally probably?
He's on same as a apathetic and different up there. Yeah, no thoughts
What else did we learn about him?
His dad resents his mom for being short
Yeah, yeah, what's height was a thing he was looking for because his future
kids, professional athletes prospects.
He wants that to be on the table.
But then the volleyball player with big juices was sent home.
So that didn't make any sense.
His mom is loving it.
He's never brought a girl home.
Ever.
So his mom's watching and is kind of hopeful, I think.
Oh, damn.
That sucks that Malsec's mom is just getting, like,
height shamed all the time.
Yeah, seems to be deeply rooted.
Yeah.
But that's not something you find out about someone
after you marry them.
You think Malsec's dad woke up one day and was like, wait,
are you fucking 5'2"?
You said you were 5'10".
What the fuck?
Gotcha.
She was wearing stilts the whole time.
For three years of the relationship.
Yeah, he's deeply troubled, but he doesn't.
He's an asshole.
His happiness is our number one priority.
Yeah, that's true.
That was the phrase that he used on the voicemail when he was 14 to a girl.
Apparently he said it a lot.
Your happiness is my number one priority.
Oh.
And that's what traumatized him.
All the kids at school kept saying that to him.
That is traumatizing.
Yeah.
At 14, that's traumatizing.
Right.
Fuck.
Was it an all boys school? Wait. Yes. Oh, that's traumatizing. It's fuck. Was it an all-boys school?
Wait.
Yes.
Oh, that's so much worse.
Because if it was a mixed school,
you can at least get some sympathy pussy
and people being like, oh.
Not Jake.
No.
Oh, you're actually so sweet.
I don't care what these boys say.
None of that.
Daddy was just getting fucking.
If I was, I wouldn't be soft for one second at a boys school
Malsec also could not comprehend a studio apartment
He saw a studio apartment and he had it like a
truly physical
What the fuck?
He lived in New York City
He lived in his grandma's old apartment
We were looking at all the bedrooms
One bedroom had a couch in it because
The bedroom is the entire apartment, it's a studio
And when it popped up he just goes
Oh what the fuck? Yeah he couldn't understand
He's friends with Moog
Bring on the room
Has he he's friends with mook bring on the room
Wait in what universe show that again Heightened now that looks like so much fun was Danny here the whole week. Yes
Yeah, he should
Jake isn't on say some nice things the whole week. Yeah. Yes. Back in. I don't know where he is. Yeah, he should. He's here. Um,
he Jake isn't. I'll say some nice things. He's not sensitive. No to criticism or no. No, he's fine. Yeah. Oh, we did a Danny
cancer episode too. Oh, what was that? Yeah, you had cancer.
I want to talk to about sick for a second Thursday. Danny came
out as being a, uh, we could say now, survivor. He survived? Yeah. I
guess that would make sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, sorry. That'd be crazy if he was like,
I'm not alive. He didn't. Survivor spoiler. Yeah, he's alive. I just want to talk to him
for a second. Yeah, you need to talk to him. What kind of cancer? Leukemia. Bad enough
to get a really good make-a-wish. Really good make-a-wish. Bad enough to get a really good make-a-wish really good make-a-wish bad enough to get a news article about a
Trip to the set of the office to watch them film an episode at the peak of their popularity
Did everyone else know this no I didn't know it out. I aired him out
I thought they were fun, but I feel like that's the off
I feel like that's something you have to tell somebody if you're a cancer survivor yeah, yeah, that's on him
Wow, you know pictures with the corral and. And all you had to do is have cancer?
That's all. What a loophole. It was a great Photoshop by Nick. That's no, it's
true. He had it. When did you have cancer? 16. Jesus man. How long was it? Like three
years. Yeah. That's a long time is and so are
you like do you have to go to the doctor and make sure I have annual checkups
yeah we're good now fuck hey you're saying Brandon would succumb to cancer
very quickly yeah Brandon's in the store we in the
barstool store we want to get rub those rubber bracelets to say Brandon week
yeah or I'm with you, Brandon. Yeah.
Well, I would actually say they said it about me.
Yeah, but I'm with you in that what they said was correct, but I'm also with you.
So those cancer hits we're checking out?
I'd be like, we'll try chemo once, and they're like, not for me.
Yeah, I'll take the euthanasia.
Yeah.
It might be good for wrestling, though.
You'd get a lot of guests coming through.
That's true.
John Cena.
You'd get Cena. It would be there. Sympathy subscribers? Wait sympathy subscribers wait so where would so you went you saw a whole episode what episode?
When Pam gets to hit Michael after he dumps her mom oh
Mm-hmm is that a good one thing well damn they do like
Damn it you imagine I get it like a shit episode
They do like the same take 50 times so you kind of just watch that
But you're there all day you eat breakfast lunch with them. How many times have you watched that episode since?
Not more than the others, but I've probably seen every episode at least three times so that still worked its way in the rotation
It was still a Steve Carell episode. Yeah, so good wait
So make a wish like was was this at a point in your cancer. We were like
You might die so well TJ said something that threw me off
But from what I understood as long as you're 17 and under and diagnosed with a terminal disease you get to make a wish
Got it. Mm-hmm. So wasn't like yeah, I wasn't on my last breath or any got it got it
Yeah, cuz I didn't understand that yeah, no, it's a common loop. Oh every time I bring it up
They're like, oh you said you were gray though. I think that's like you got to be gray. Oh, yeah
Oh, I think most people would be yeah. Did you do like extensive chemo?
Yeah, it's it was once a week for like eight months. Holy fuck dude, and then yeah
once a month first second year once every two months third year, but
Yeah, we're good. Now now everyone's everyone's just nervously
With kid gloves strong as fuck yeah, dude
Yeah, Brandon Am I not?
You gave me a look. I was just looking at you as you were talking. I'm just messing with you. Hey, man
Were you homecoming King?
Yeah, even before cancer though, no way
Yeah, you got homecoming King before no other no math doesn't add up 15 you had math doesn't add up
Yeah, you got a sympathy crown in freshman here. Yeah, you gave to you fresh. It's a crown nonetheless
So miles like your douchebag, huh?
Yeah, I got this weekend. Yeah anybody come up to you and just be like, hey, fuck you?
Uh, no. A lot of guys came up to me at the bar on Saturday and said they enjoy the show.
So I'm glad that people liked it. I love it.
So if you did that- Any women?
Uh, no.
A few women did that.
A couple guys though. That was cool.
Do you think there's a chance that we find real love here?
Probably not.
But- Is your mind open to it? chance that we find real love here? Probably not. But I mean, that's
your mind open to it. Yeah. I mean, listen, that'd be great. But I'm the odds are probably not.
That's what I'm that's where I'm at. That's why we love the show. That's why this is why this is the best
dating show ever. Because he doesn't want to. The guy doesn't want to. I'm not. I'm not. Girls don't really
want to win. I'm not going to fake it. It's fake it It's either there. I heard you guys talking about his type earlier his type is perfect
No, that's yeah, that is not true or mail is that too much to ask for that's not true
But I'm excited to meet these people I have no idea what any of them look like I haven't done any snooping in my free time
What what happened with big titty's?
That one bothers she was I was proven right after the fact how she got real angry at me for for cutting her
No, she got angry. No, you cut her dude. Yeah, and even before right she hated my guts
Yeah, but it was she sending Che was like fuck this guy even before I asked called you stinky, right?
That's like not drafted like oh four to forty being like nah
Yeah, that almost never works out though before talking about I feel like John John Ross Henry
Ross is right Henry rugs those guys never work
Somebody's bad juicy titties John Ross is still in the league he played for the Eagles yesterday got it caught a ball no way
Yeah, I was shocked was he worth the pick though. No Xavier worthy Xavier worthy. Well. Yeah TBD Tyree kill TBD
Yeah, is that your measure? I don't know if you could judge someone based on what they do after you slight them
You know well, so she reached out to you individual no she sent Che the message and was like fuck this guy
But that was when you were I think that was before we cut still in that's what that makes it worse for you
Because she wasn't scorned She was like still in the competition. I don't think she would have gotten along
I just be clear like is it the big juicy titties you don't like no it was the Cornell pick up pick up
It was a Duke right now. She was Cornell
Fat juicy substantial the Duke lady the Duke lady reached out to me
She was very sweet herself portrait was a stick figure with with and then put some bad juice
I just looked it some Like Venn diagram. Yeah, it's a perfect woman really like skinny, but
Or now was that was bad
It's an ivy is it though
Literally what school would have been like thought would you even have said Virginia's Goat?
Or would you have been like, that's a copycat, you can't?
No, that's Pandering.
This girl wants a Virginia.
Wait, you're upset that Cornell is not a real Ivy
when you go to the school that's like one of the top
fakest Ivies.
I mean, who wants a smart girl with huge tits?
Is that the fakest Ivy?
It's Michigan or Virginia.
Stanford. Stanford's actually though
You know should be an I'm in a real Miami of Ohio. It's to be an IV to do they yep. I
believe that
No, but I'm excited for the the final three so Nick had the idea of speed dates
Yeah, no, so you that was the multiple like one putt-putt hole one movie. Yeah. Yeah, sounds good
Not one movie just like a clip see that
Yeah, I'm in for whatever down for anything
And your mom really wants you to find my mom is dying for me to find love and what was I was explained the short mom
The short thing what was yeah, that wasn't a I thought I think that's being made into a bigger deal
It's more of just a running bit. My dad has about wishing my mom was tall. There's always reminded. Yeah
Yeah, that's your foot. That's a funny bit. He did need wishing my mom was taller. There's always reminded. Yeah
That's a funny bit. He did need a lot of stones Did you say I was listening I was listening upstairs and when you were like, why would he marry?
I mean he needed a green card. So oh
Well, you didn't tell us that your mom's watching this right now. She will be tomorrow
It was a green card man, they know the deal they love each other
It's been a business transaction all along my parent now this all makes sense
My parents
No, do not know that's a piece of the onion they love each other very much
They when they got married they have to learn my mom often tells me she's like yeah
I kind of just guessed because he spoke very little English at the beginning
So both of the I think it was a little transactional
I think he said I do and grew into love
I'm excited for the end of this this week to watch it, but I think the next season of this has to be
International hmm
Well
So who's the international part not you the woman?
All the girls we women are looking for green card green card. okay, you get a green car love that that'd be fun
Yeah, because it feels like that's all you know well, Jake you married in that case true
You know love based off green cards. Yeah transactional, right?
That makes so much sense now the way you are my parents are very much in love
I want that on the record, but your dad doesn't love your mom's well. They're married so that's the record right there, right?
That is true still still going strong, but they fell in love later in their marriage wait. How long is a
Five-five oh, that's oh
She's taller than the average Bolivian man. I know it's not short at all. That's how tall I am
Yeah, sure yeah, I didn't say she was short Jake. I think we I mean Kate I think we've established. He's not looking for a Kaden. That's true. Yes
How tall is your dad? 6'2".
Malisek how do you how does your mom or end or dad power rank the final three?
We should just have him come in. Yeah your mom can your mom come in? No, they're in Italy right at the moment
Yeah, your mom can your mom come in? No, they're in Italy right at the moment
Power like the fight. I think that they're very big on the southern bell. Yeah, and also they like the fact that she lives in Chicago I don't think they love the fact that one of the girls is out of town or Detroit right which is far not really no
That's not like oh, it's not really far. It's a 40. It's a 40 minute flight
Be there every weekend, but also you could drive like it's not a bad drive three hours
Yeah, I think this might be great for you. I kind of agree with you good town. Well. Don't do the hand
Yeah, no distance would be
Perfect relationship never seeing this never see him never talk to him. Yeah, probably are two in Chicago and ones in Detroit
Yeah, is Erica the third one is we don't
Yeah, so to Chicago one Detroit. Yeah should be interesting
I mean that will be awesome like
One Chicago girl will not win and you may bump into her on weekends. Yep, that's cool. Yeah
You know, this has been one of the weirdest things I've ever done in my life, but I've had a good time
You should in a jar awesome. Yeah, it's really fun. Yeah. Yeah, you should ride out a shit right you did shit in a jar like that
This has been weird or you were gonna shit anyway. Yeah, you also went into a
black Twitter space live
Stupid fucking shit on this show that wasn't even on the show that was just me being me for fun damn
We should ask the girls what their dream threesome was and if that was
That was a mess damn you still do that Damn, we should ask the girls what their dream threesome was. And if that was a miss, that was a mess. Damn, you still do that.
Yeah, we'll do it with the final three.
Yeah, they don't include Malisek.
Wait, what did they they shouldn't?
What did the black guy say on the spaces?
No, the hell they came.
No, the hell it came.
It can be a guy.
No, the hell it came.
No, the hell it came.
Let me open up Google.
Yeah, been fun.
Scheduling question.
Are we, we're not going to have access to court tomorrow though, right?
No.
We find a room.
I think we were saying Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.
Or no, oh Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.
I think the court, we can ask them.
Earliest it's going to be as Wednesday at the earliest. OK.
So we want to do it in like a studio upstairs with a zoom or we have.
We have a room out there with a table.
We have a lobby with tables that they can sit at. Right.
Yeah. We won't be able to do the speed date like the putt putt and all that.
Or we could just go Wednesday, Thursday Thursday Friday, and then he announces winner
But you want we want the winner here? I'd assume yeah
So when are the end of the episode be weird if the girl on the date on Friday is here and doesn't she's not the winner
I love it kind of funny
Kind of funny
It's poor girls You cool with the gauntlet and playing goalie real hard. I'm in for anything
I'll do whatever you guys I want this as out of my hands
So we we actually make out and no that's I'm out on that yeah
We could do Wednesday we can do Wednesday Thursday Friday and have the other two girls come back at the end of Friday
Oh, yeah with that right? Yeah
Yeah, that's perfect and the Detroit girls should go Friday, and then she'll just stay till the end. Yeah, right
Right, I mean it's a firm that she doesn't have to do
So that's why that way the Detroit girl doesn't have to stay
So Detroit girl Friday Friday
And then the other two come back at the end of the show on Friday and then you announce the winner or
They take the cash
So originally said she couldn't do Friday to start all see what we can do. Oh, that's a big hurdle
Friday's one of the most important days of the week
Jake really truly seven Jake wearing a tux would be funny
every day
You want to get in a talk I'll do anything
I will say yes to almost anything anything. I'm not making out on camera
I refuse to do that, but what about a light pack no tongue no no kissing on camera forehead kiss
That's way more intimate. What about tongue, but it's cheap tongue kissing what our hand kiss
That's way more intimate. What about tongue, but it's cheek tongue kissing. What about hand kiss? Oh, I got me lady. Yeah, you cuz yeah fine. That's as far as our European greedy the hand kiss. I'll do yeah
What about the cheek? You just make the smooch sound I?
Would like to keep it as a
Tasteful as possible when does your mom get back? They're flying back tomorrow. Oh come Friday
When does your mom get back? They're flying back tomorrow. Oh you come Friday?
No, I don't it well you want to ask Florida. It's pretty far. We have but they're in Italy right now How are they getting from Florida to Italy good point Nick?
Flying hmm I would like to off extend the offer to your mom if she wanted to come okay
I'll let her have to come let her know I will get her a hotel Friday night all right doesn't have to be even a big
Room she's so small it's true Yeah, she could just stay in one of the cupboards
I will she's gonna watch this
She'll hear this before I tell her but if she can't make it
Can she get chaise number and we have a running ticker on the bottom where she sends her thoughts?
We could mincy surrogate the parents as well
We were gonna have mincy have an iPad tape really tight to his face if the girls couldn't show oh
And he would be the surrogate, but we can have him be surrogate parent
Yeah, he could have a he could have an earpiece in yes talking to Malisex mom, and he could just repeat whatever
Put a wig on her yeah, yeah, I'm sure she'd be down okay. It looks like potential schedule in conflict. We might need the
First place person out of town or to be Thursday with a local person being Friday due to their schedule
But would she be able to stay I'm figuring that right now
She can't for that might be to us the key is to have all three be able to be here on Friday, okay?
Well if not we could just do finale on Thursday
And then have her come over Thursday go tomorrow Wednesday Thursday, which is can move the show. Yeah, we just wouldn't have the court
That's the only problem. Okay, we'll have them do it gambling cave, right? Yeah, we do that set a table up
Ah, okay, you got this. I'm confident Chay can figure this out. Chay
Do you want to share PFT asked Chay to come up with nicknames for Jaden Daniels last night.
Okay.
Oh, yeah, what is that?
I don't know what it is.
I was trying to...
Well, not to an ad,
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What is that?
Novelty give me one right now
Nice
That's Star Wars sound effects. I think I think I know it just drops Brandon. It was just a receipt
Shake it sound effects I think I think I know it just drops Brandon it was just a receipt I think but shake it all right novelty sorry Kate my headphones cut out novelty grown to noisemakers it's a ground tube someone send it to us yeah Oh
It has like a horror movie sound effect to it when the devil's approaching this is like a big arcade prize when I was growing up
Nice snag I don't want yellow. Yeah. Yeah. So.
That's it. Five.
Thank you.
We got a schedule.
Now that it's going to be October tomorrow, we got to figure out a Halloween episode.
Oh, yeah.
Do like a yak on the.
Yeah.
Yeah. Okay, thank you. We got a schedule now that it's going to be October tomorrow.
We got to figure out a Halloween episode.
Oh, yeah.
Just do like a Yak haunted house.
I would love to build a haunted house.
Like three Halloweens ago, it was two years before I started,
I had my boy with the big nut come through,
and I always thought it would be funny to have him just like,
you walk into the haunted house and his nuts out.
Yeah, it could be like the nut, and then it could be one part is just Mother's Day again.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
It's an endless Mother's Day loop.
I still have the wing.
One just mincy talking to himself.
Mark's just dressed up as something different in each station.
Yeah.
Tank Thursdays.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah! We should do a haunted house that failed.
Haunted house.
Your insurance episode?
Yeah, my insurance episode.
Scratch-off week.
Yeah, everything we sucked at.
What was the, what was the, Oobleck?
Oobleck.
Oobleck.
What a bust that was. Yeah, white boy Rick just in ack? Oobleck. Oobleck. Oobleck. What a bust that was.
Damn.
Yeah, white boy Rick just in a pool of oobleck.
He come by and he sits up real fast.
I think he uses that gif.
So it was all worth it for him.
It was worth it.
It was worth it.
It was worth it.
Mincy had a rough weekend with football, huh?
I saw him break it all down in that selfie video.
Yeah, it's falls over.
It was a...
Did you see that?
He was...
He said some pretty shocking things.
What'd he say?
In that video?
No, I didn't see it.
You didn't see the video?
No.
Oh, it was stunning.
Dude.
Yeah, play it.
I don't even know if we can play it.
Wait.
What is this?
This is the wrong one?
Is this the one you were talking about?
This is the wrong one.
Did y'all not get one with the wrong one?
No. This is the wrong one?
Is this the one you were talking about?
This is the wrong one.
Did y'all not get one with no audio?
No, that one has bad audio.
Bad audio?
I think it was that one.
There was one, I saw this one yesterday like this.
With no audio.
I mean this is pretty bad audio.
So, it's not like making shit like this is no audio. This is pretty bad audio. Almost meaning.
So it's not like making shit like this is his job.
Losing two football games in a weekend.
I do that regular shit all the time.
I fucking dominate.
The dirty South Roberts.
What's this? His fingers covering the microphone. I mean, it's the dirty South Roberts.
What's this?
His fingers covering the microphone the entire time he's doing that.
The NFL has to change that rule at some point.
Is it his finger or is it food from free promo from restaurants that he gets?
Why is he talking so well?
Is he also walking anywhere? Is he just doing a. Oh, it's amazing.
He's walking back and forth in circle at the office.
That's pointless.
It's starting to get a little bit.
It's.
I mean, yeah.
I mean, someone's going to come out.
It's like he's.
It's so long.
It's like he's speaking a made up language that.
41, I just like.
I mean, yesterday, for like 90 minutes after the game,
I was numb.
This is the most confusing suicide video I've ever done.
I went through two of those 24 hours.
Pretty tough, tough, tough weekend.
I mean, I guess it's not...
That's the most saddest ever been.
I mean, I don't know.
I mean, it could only go from here, I guess.
When he's sad, do his eyes straighten out they might yeah they might sad mincy
Yeah, you want to share your jaden daniels nicknames that he gave pft
He asked me for this yeah, I know
Jaden Dale nicknames kinda like Jay-z
The Jay Danimal uh-. Cinco de Daniels.
Huh?
J5.
If he has any warts you know of, the Warthog, Commander-in-Chief,
any bomber plane names you know of could work.
What about FedEx?
What would FedEx?
Call him FedEx Field, you're saying.
No, I think he's saying because he plays at FedEx field just call him FedEx
Yeah, yeah, and FedEx is air and ground which he does
Okay, any warts you know of
We have what physical warts
Yes, why would pft know of the warts?
That was big Jane Daniels. What is the Cinco de Daniels pond? I don't I don't understand that one because he wears number five
but
But then that but
Singular singular Mayo is the yeah, we're familiar with oh if he has a Maybird. Oh, yeah, it's not exact
It's the fifth of Daniel fifth day, Dan, but But like if like he was the head coach of the New England Patriots
in War No. 5, that would play.
You see.
Uh-huh.
Gerard Mayo.
But.
Yeah, that would be.
But Daniel.
We were just spitballing.
We were just.
OK.
I'm just trying.
No bad ideas.
No bad ideas.
Which one's your favorite out of there, Che? I like word I love warthog provided. He has some more
Might actually if PFT really cares about jaden daniels might have to find like a toad that he throws it to give
Yeah, we got to give him a war
Even then you would need a war on your face like front and center like that's the work
I can't just have one hidden on your foot. was there. I'm gonna call him the warthog
Is there a second does he play like a warthog I?
Mean he's really fast and nimble
If he has a blowhole we could call the killer whale
Well the hogs with the commanders redskins
He loves to moan
You're you must be the warthog
No bad ideas bad ideas yeah, they call me the warthog
Yeah, that's a tough one to explain
What else we got going on we're on the precipice of a
Herpes vaccine what?
Making significant progress this is now your algorithm. Yeah, you got the push notifications on what's going on the web MD push notifications
We're close. Yeah Lyme disease too and Lyme disease a big one good progress with Parkinson's
really that's oh Zepic has some positives that's curing lime um I think
Parkinson's okay it's making progress interesting stopping progression and
curing addiction whoa whoa fuck yeah there's
something good you're reading like a medical journal what's going on I'm just
looking into things yeah that's exciting look into things
Caleb Williams is getting clown for a celebration it was bad it was goofy
yeah I'll hand up it was goofy called it. They called him a hip hip hooray
It was goofy you can't you can't do
Double fist pumps above your head arms as a guy who paints his nails you can't but eat no because this was Hank had a
double fist pump moment
Like two years ago that we caught on anything about when you can I see a reenactment of exactly what he did
This ago that we caught on anything about when you can I see a reenactment of exactly what he did. This is what he does.
This
you gotta go one per ball or if you're going double fist pump they have to stay like it has to be.
But it's he hops to the funny.
To the feet. Yeah, it's not just the you can't make a hop
or eat come up the same amount of air at the same time.
It's a weird.
It wasn't good.
Could anybody make that cool?
No.
There's a challenge?
Yeah, that second hop.
He wasn't used to celebrating, right?
That's true.
His first home win.
No, it wasn't his first home win.
Second home win.
You have to hop.
Two fist bumps for a second home win.
And a hop.
He'll get better
Willie what if he gets worse what worse at that? Oh, but what do you think about him as a football player? I think he's good. Yeah
But that was that's that goofy celebrations. Mm-hmm. How's Dan? How's how's how's the warthog celebrate?
What August?
Is very a grub out of a log
Celebrate war dog is a cool. I'm a Todd. What is very a grub out of a log
That that's I like the nickname
He has warts
Perfect nickname if he has more I
Just thought of the perfect one
We didn't give that enough time
Warts how'd you think of war?
Non-foot football related things we know the hogs it's sports I got a good name for you but listen I need to know something about
yeah why wouldn't you be the hog that's sure I mean that's the hog yeah it's
cool oh he's got a big dick but then's, but what if he gets a wart?
Then he has to be ward hog.
We got to get him.
Ward hog has got to be the name.
What's the tail?
Frog?
Contact?
I think it's like a toad?
Yeah, a toad.
A toad gets you a wart?
Have you guys ever had a wart?
No.
I was always pretty disgusted. Yeah, I had one as a kid right on my had it frozen
off yeah same with me I watched a time lapse of one getting frozen off two
days ago it's very cool yeah like bubbles up and then falls off but if
Jayden Daniels has one he can't ever get it frozen off oh no not the Warthog. What a great nickname. Che, what if he didn't play for Washington
and had warts? What if he played for the Chargers? The Wart Chief? Yeah, like what? Yeah. That
works. So the electric wart the wart just the wart
No, you could do like a witch type pun what which is have warts which is have usually one
Big green
Yes, which is have warts so it could be a witchy thing
Yeah, yeah, what if he goes out gets warts so the nickname makes sense, but then cool
There's like a Drew Bledsoe Tom Brady situation
You know he gets hurt. He loses the job they move on from them
The nickname is not gonna work in other place. Yeah, I'd have to
So yeah, what happens if he goes to the Chargers what happens? Yeah, what is on how big it is right? Yeah? What was does yeah, what was what was the game be if he was a buck?
mmm, and he had warts or did not
Can you give us a nickname for every every
Every quarterback
Every every starting quarterback for franchise if they get to work
It's work. All right. I want a war nickname for all of them because one of them has rip as many as I can
This is like those windows memes go around where it's like every starting quarterback if they were fat
We started quarterback every starting quarterbacks a nickname if they had if they had more wait, let's just do this right now
Yeah, come on. Chet. Let's sound it out
Kobe Burset
All right, it's a patriot
So for said who are some Patriots
George Washington all revere all revere wart revere wart revere
George Washington all revere all revere wart revere wart revere
Jet it's gotta be a vaccine anti-vaxx a warthog is a is a jet is a
That's that's Jalen Danny. That's true Aaron Warcher's
Next Iowatska
Josh Allen
Bored Alan yeah, we're down. I didn't think about that. That's good
That's not bad. That's not bad you like wart Alan
It's pretty on the nose. No like like a witch like a witch's war
Okay, Tua a dolphin uh-huh
Maybe there's some concussion stuff you could leave Hawaiian water war or Hawaiian wart the Hawaiian Ward. Oh, dude. To a...
To a wart hogliavoa.
Oh, wow.
That's good.
That's really fucking good.
This is the dumbest thing I've ever done.
I need a full list.
Are you writing this down?
You've got to cover the contingency thing.
Wart hogliavoa kind of rocks.
Dachawn Wartzen.
Oh, that's easy.
Nice.
Okay. What is word hoggly of all kind of rocks?
Deshaun warts and oh, that's nice, okay. I saw somebody call him groper, Cleveland
Good news I have the perfect nickname for your quarterback bad news
TfT I know you're a fan of the team, so you'll know if he has water bags water packs holy shit
I don't know
You're starting with hog. Yeah, yeah
You could have done any pig pun any hog pun. I guess that's true
Groundhog cuz he runs the ball Aaron
The ground hog he's a running quarterback
No, no, no going With a list and we'll reveal
Just just rip off as many as you can and then we'll I want to see what you come up
All right, give me a few minutes Jalen warts
That's I don't think you're quite getting it
Sorry, sorry
Yeah, I want to see what he comes up with here, Brandy. You want to, uh... Yeah.
Proper wild?
Yeah, proper, proper wild.
Should we ease this up on Steve?
Just, it could be any skin affliction.
I think that's gonna help it.
Eczema, acne.
Yeah.
That my cloud is vision.
Resatia.
That's better for the career.
Try everything.
Okay.
Leprosy.
Yeah.
Any sort of affliction, really.
If these quarterbacks happen to get this... Yeah. Any sort of affliction really. If these quarterbacks happen to get this.
Yeah. I would say like non-life threatening. To a skin tag of Ailoa.
There we go. A mole. Mark.
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This is a ginger one dry all week during the mountain. It doesn't really well on the show. How does that tell you shocker?
Shocking you get it
This drives the office this weekend
Where we go into wills Northwood you know you and the boys I bet the Wisconsin they do euchre there time
Yes, we are great bar. We were rooting for Wisconsin is euchre stuff hard. I had it to be honest
No, I didn't I never had never never thought we had really I really thought you had it never thought we had it
She showed some fight you showed some heart even though you were on the road against her
Just get like a ring warm-up build on that for sure more muff punts would have been a huge Anytime you can show fight on the road against a ranked team. We could just get like four more Muff Punts. We could build on that, for sure. Four more Muff Punts would have been huge. Yeah.
Anytime you can show a fight on the road against a ranked team, man, you got to take it.
No, we're in the spot now where it's just alums are, you know, ex-players are just coming
out on Twitter being like, it's a disaster.
This ain't Wisconsin football.
Yeah, that's not good.
It's never good.
Wow.
I have everyone come out and say.
Got to start somewhere.
That's a fun place. Yeah, good time.
Was the whole crew there?
No, it was a hodgepodge of people.
Some more Wisconsin people that don't work here came.
A mishmash?
Yeah.
It was a good time.
A lot of fun.
You do any Chad bombs?
No.
Oh, they always give out real good Chad bombs.
No, I had about eight or nine beers and then I went home and ate a whole pizza
You know nine it's a lot. That's a lot of I didn't drive this time so I drank usually drive to the bar
I've been getting fed your tic-tocs. I don't know. I enjoy you're good at making good at it. Thanks
Yeah, you made it sick talk. I've been doing that make it's been going
Is the one in your underwear where you're trying to
Like where you're playing the guitar with your cute dog?
Oh, no, I don't do those on there.
I just do sports like green screen stuff like that now.
Oh.
I've been having fun with those.
Yeah.
Look at that.
You have some well over a million, don't you?
Who has more yards?
The Bears entire offense or their punter?
Week 4 update and we got ourselves...
Oh yeah, you were smart.
The curse of Twitter user 321null on Florida State University is reaching biblical levels.
For those unaware, after 10th ranked in Florida State, you're good at this.
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Yeah, I was smart. I faked Osmo.
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not getting any treats now we're gonna feel like a character down yeah you have
to put it down you got the yeah you're doing something with the cadence I like
it yeah I wanted I don't know I try to keep people sort of engaged that's kind
of the voice I'm going for mm-hmm brought like going microphone like the mic. I think it sounds better, but yeah
I've been doing that for like a month now, so what else are you passionate about?
Hmm graphics and social yeah, I enjoy my job a lot
I like to get creative
Remember when you moved to Florida for like seven months and didn't do anything no
That was uh I went I know you posted pictures in a golf cart every once in a while Remember when you moved to Florida for like seven months and didn't do anything? Uh, no. That happened.
That was, uh, I went-
No, you posted pictures in a golf cart every once in a while.
I went to play in the World Championships for lacrosse last summer before the move to
Chicago and then my lease expired and then I just went home for the two months in between
New York to Chicago.
So he wasn't that far off.
Two months.
How is the lacrosse team doing?
Oh yeah. Good, our coaches had a baby shout out Brian
Very cool. They're playing
That actually tells me
Headline we're not doing not gonna be folks
So we they're playing a lot of box the checks the check lacrosse team is playing a lot of national box lacrosse checks are playing box
Yeah
but I think according to What the information that I've been given which I'm usually more out of
The loop than the rest of the guys you're on this team. Yeah
It sounds like February in Portugal is the beginning of the Olympic qualifications. So that is kind of the plan as of now
What do you mean? You're out of the loop like I it's all in check. So I kind of wait for them
Are you on a text? Yeah, we have a whatsapp group in of the loop? It's all in Czech, so I kind of wait for them to... Are you on a text chain in Czech? Yeah, we have a WhatsApp group.
In Czech?
Yeah, it's all Czech.
So what do you do?
I wait for it to be in English.
What do you mean?
What does that mean?
If it's important, someone will say it in English, but other than that, I don't really...
How many people don't speak Czech in there?
Three, four?
So it's just all Czech, they can be talking shit about it.
Anything, yeah.
But I...
Translate that. Yeah, but I know what it is, I know what it is and then it's when the English comes up, and I know it's important
I read is their mindset. Let's make the Olympics. No, they're very laissez-faire about this whole thing
Oh, hey, they're kind of on take it or leave it. We're gonna do it, but like it doesn't seem like they're very
I know put money. I am gonna have to like it's gonna be the American guys be like no like we gotta can I see the whatsapp yeah?
Let's see. Oh, no very
I
Think the baby thing just came out and that was in English, but the rest of it is that was the most important thing
Yeah, here you scroll up. So when like when one of our
Was it have you ever texted in check now never That's such an impossible language to like figure out.
Do you have any, do you know anything? I know like I'm hungry, I'm American.
Has I Am Hungry ever come up? All these things.
That's kind of short but marry me anyway. Yeah right.
Hello goodbye, good morning. Say I'm hungry.
Ja mam hlad. What?
I am hungry. Oh yeah.
This is all in Czech. Yeah so I so I I wait for them to say English
That's usually what it's important stuff. And then yeah, Portugal
I believe in February end of February is the beginning of qualifications for the Olympics, which could be cool
How would how are these boys doing quality of good?
I think they're good. So a lot so when I went and we played this whole thing in San Diego
They were shocked at how far away I live from home
They all live somewhat 20 30 minutes outside of where they were born
So they're all very much in the same area all the time
They're like age range is 45 to 18 and they're all like best friends. They all congregate in the same places
They're all together all the time. So it's very tight-knit family oriented stuff, but not on the field
Seems like you might stick to themselves really yeah, it's like that's their checks. Don't mix
My sounds like you might need to put them
Are you gonna be in trouble right now or what no I'm gonna
I'm gonna do an English track and see let's win this thing boys all right love it It's putting them in check. Oh my god. It's there's so many things
TJ yeah, we can say that
Yeah, Chad's looking for an explanation about the outfit gate from last week that oh yeah one of the
Contestants may have had an outfit that appeared online elsewhere. Go ahead TJ.
What does that mean?
What?
Oh it's from Pinterest?
They stole it?
They stole it.
This outfit that Jake hated immediately.
I was right to.
Was Gia's outfit from this weekend.
What?
Oh!
We were lied to?
What?
So one of the contestants Sarah P
Dropped out on what Wednesday night?
Thursday night she sent this email to Jay. I'm gonna be honest It's becoming more and more apparent that this man is somewhat crazy
I have to humbly drop out, but I wish him the best
You've been a wonderful producer of the dating show Wow so
Sarah P. We tried to
maybe do a little little bit of a little bit of trolling and we, Gia submitted an outfit, Madeline submitted
her Spotify wrapped and we tried to replace her and then she was immediately deleted.
I told TJ, I said that was really stupid picking Gia's outfit.
You hated that outfit.
Yeah, and I was right.
What?
You mean you were right?
I was right too because Gia fucking hates my guts and that is so I said like like Gia and I
do not really get along that is awkward and I said oh it's like cool but if we
weren't co-workers we would never hang out no I know you're you're saying it
more and more angrily yeah no it's not a malicious thing or anything but like yes I saw her in the street I got personality and my personality do not mix it all she
was on fire would you piss her no I like Gia I think Gia likes me to tolerate me
enough my point is my girls not after what you said about her outfit Gia is the
type of girl that does fucking hate my guts if she does not work with me and
know me like I guess a lot of girls and hang out with me all the time
I was very correct in spotting that with the outfit. I think you're
You're like too into that mindset. She would hate my guts
No, Gia would hate my guts if she were to meet me randomly at a thing. Why?
We just wouldn't I just know TJ. I mean you tell me if I'm wrong, but like that's
No, I would imagine
The other girls as far as I know at least are all extremely real this was midweek one girl dropped out
We were like can we have some fun with this and that was the she dropped out she was in first place
So she was tied for fair Wow at the time
dropped out I
want to say like at like midnight the night before
The next show where she needed to submit some materials tossing intern
So I sent that to TJ in the morning and then we discussed and tried to come up with an alternative plan
But that character was eliminated after seeing the outfit. He snuffed it out. Yeah, he did
Huh? Do you guys think knowing everything that happened last week? was eliminated after seeing the outfit. He snuffed it out. He did. Huh.
Do you guys think, knowing everything that happened
last week, you could create a woman
that Malisek would 100% move on?
No.
I don't think...
He's gonna find something wrong with every possible...
I don't think he could create it.
Like a beige robot?
Oh, yeah, like if we just made a guy.
Yeah.
Like a pretty common... He just had Jack McCarthy. Pretty cool dude, yeah. Yeah, cool guy if we just made a guy yeah, yeah Like a pretty common had Jack McCarthy pretty cool. Dude. Yeah, yeah cool guy
I don't I also don't think I could do it myself
Which is probably bad. That's really bad. Yeah
What do you mean do what yourself? I don't think I can make a profile if I made a profile
I met my memory was white that on the guy would create a woman who's a tin we could go through this whole experience this
Week and he'd pick three different women
Yeah, well no because all the top three from week from day one were the top three from day five there was some sort of
I guess you're right. I guess you're right at this point
It's just like putting the red ball under the cups and moving around and right yeah, I
Think you should focus on what you don't want. I can't believe they're coming in
Yeah, they're all what did you think this whole process was I kind of like forgot about that and then I was like, oh fuck
Like that's gonna be either you're gonna crumble. Yeah. No, I'm I said this I'm fucked
Yeah, what I'm gonna do you're not just do it. Yeah, well, baby, you're not fucked
You're at the end of this you will pick out a woman that you find
They have my interest aligned and you find attractive and I guess or you get embarrassed on the internet
Yeah, well that would be not new
No, so that would be fine. You can make a sweet tick-tock about all this after you just think there's no chance whatsoever
I do think there's no chance
But what about the chance I'm open to there being a chance there's no
chance but I'm optimistic what about like the idea of you having a fun date
that'd be cool I'm gonna one of those in a while I mean if that's worst-case
scenario Jake it's pretty good yeah yeah I will I will put this out there and this
is gonna sound so dickish of me but like it sounds like it doesn't there's nothing
If they take the $2,000 like that will not I won't lose a wink of sleep over that at
all I would respect that decision
Would you want them to I'd be bummed I wouldn't be at all like that's where I saw those fun
dates like yeah it sounds cool but like it won't shock me nor will it be a normal upset
me if they take the money
I think a party you will be upset. I think you're putting the guard up. Yeah, you don't want to get
Like I chose you over 24 other
How long did the voicemail get did you get tormented all four years? That's that was like the first six weeks of school
That's brutal also my school was coed. I want to oh
What do you think I was confused by that? How did you have the the girlfriend of well sometimes?
There's like a sister school or whatever did you not did did no girls were like oh, you're such a sweet guy
I got no ass in high school you got did the girls have on you for this too. Yeah
Oh, yeah
you think it hurt your chance the fact that like I was sitting in like the common area of my school like the student center or whatever and
Senior year and like someone pulled it up on their phone. How do you still have that? It was a rat it was everywhere
You were a little ahead of your time though. That's pretty deep for a 14 year old. Yeah, I'm a sappy guy
Just when it when it when I know that was the last time when I
When I find the right woman now every so often it does happen sporadically and very rarely in my life
It's probably happened two or three times in my life. I get really sappy. I'm sending flowers
How's your day going? I'm really
I'm checking in. How long have you been here?
You're good.
You got a bed.
And there was some what's up.
I'm taking you out.
We're going to nice dinners.
What you been up to.
Oh my god.
W-Y-D.
I'm a hopeless, sappy romantic when it comes down to it.
Sappy as fuck, dude.
My guard is up.
So sappy to care about.
Little dinner to how you're doing.
That maybe was a bad example.
Suck in a hot pocket.
Let's see how sappy you can get.
TJ, play the voicemail.
You don't have it.
No.
Fuck off.
You can have a patch on your eye.
Your leg can be broke.
If you giving her the dick,
she gonna tell you everything is wrong with you.
Ooh, you patch-eyed motherfucker. She gonna tell you everything is wrong with you. Oh You pet child motherfucker you broke you broke legs some of my bitch
That's all god damn good. That's why I do the dick line again the dick line giving her what if you're giving her a
dick
Brandon you are funny as fuck. Damn it man just
Off the dome.
Yeah.
Wait can we go spy cam and you go like try to pass that off
as like conversation.
So why this started was I was at the jewelry store
buying my wife a present.
Yeah.
And there was the guy.
How do you say that again? Yeah you're in character still I think. I think you the jewelry store buying my wife a present. Yeah. And there was the guy who's- How'd you say that again?
Yeah, you're in character still, I think.
I think you said jewelry store.
I was at the jewelry store buying my wife a present,
and the guy who was selling to me just tried to pass off
a Bernie Mac joke as his own.
Oh.
And it was the original pumpkin pie joke that I've been,
and he just tried to say that.
Wait, the jeweler?
Your jeweler did that to you? Yeah, and I was like, that's Bernie Mac. And then he'd dap me been, and he just tried to say that. Wait, the jeweler? Your jeweler did that to you?
Yeah, and I was like, that's Bernie Mac.
And then he'd dap me up, and he's like,
I can't believe you know that.
So that's why I started doing the, yeah.
How did you two naturally get on the topic of pumpkin pie?
Well, we're in Chicago, he's from Jackson, Mississippi,
and we started talking about Southern foods.
Okay.
And then, and then. And then he did the Bernie Mac one. He did the Bernie Mac one. Did he, Mississippi, and we started talking about Southern foods. And then he did the Bernie Mac.
He did the Bernie Mac.
Did he imply that it was an impression?
I think I said the word pumpkin pie, and he said, man, listen, I was at the bar the other
night.
And he did the whole thing.
Oh, that's incredible.
That's from Jackson?
Yeah, from Jackson, Mississippi.
Cool.
Well, I got two.
One's from Jackson, one's from Arkansas, and I go see them every, even if I don't buy anything,
I just go see them once every couple of months. nice get some Bernie Mac material just to get some Bernie Mac
Yeah, he's like, you know, you just watch the show instead of coming in here
But I I buy her some jewelry and then I go home and and you know if you're giving her
Do y'all want to see the puppy I bought my mama for her birthday? Yes, which I have a question about this. Yeah
Your mom is very trusting
Yeah, no, I sent her two hours from home with cash. I sent with $2,000 cash
I said I said mama I sent her to the bank Friday
I said hey mama
Go get some money from the bank and drive to this address two hours away from your house in the stick with cash
Oh my god for her birth. That was her birthday. She didn't know it a surprise puppy, but that's a crazy way to deliver
Was it reluctant at all? No, she just said where it were. I don't okay. She just she showed up and then
Yeah, we'll see the puppy. I had them tell her happy birthday. Here's here's your puppy from your son
But and then give me the 2000.
Yeah, yeah.
No, it was, it sounded shady as shit.
You couldn't have,
Mom was trusting.
Given the people the 2000?
I tried, I paid the deposit on Venmo,
and when I said can I pay the rest of it now,
and they said no, we would prefer if you brought it cash.
That probably helps.
Oh, that's, oh.
Look at him. Look at that boy right there. Oh that's
Teddy Teddy. Teddy. He's faded. He's droopy. Oh hi right now. Yeah. So faded out. How
this blood. How was how was her reaction. Oh she cried. Yeah. Yeah. Probably FaceTime
you with him. Yeah. Tears of relief after you told her you get money from a bank. I
think that's
her. It's either a fifth dog or a sixth dog. Wow. And now the
Basset hound was the one uh huh that got bus. That was the bus
dog. That was the bus dog. That was Bo. So wait name all the
dogs right now that she has. Yeah. Sam. She has Sam who's my
dog. She has Charlie who's Caitlin's dog she has buddy Ray and then
she has there's one I don't remember his name Peewee but Peewee might have died
and we can't have a peewee dying yeah and then there's another one I don't
remember what the other one's name is there's also the pit bull from the
neighbor that stays over at the house and then there's just a sleepover yeah there now there's Teddy who am I missing one the pit bull from the neighbor that stays over at the house. And then there's- He just does sleepovers?
Yeah, now there's Teddy.
Who am I missing?
I'm missing one.
The pit bull does sleepovers?
That's crazy.
Yeah.
But Buddy Ray's, she just, my mama does this thing where she'll be riding down the road.
She sees a stray dog, she will pick it up, take it home.
How many stray dogs are there down there?
Several.
If I went looking, could I find one in a day?
Down there? Yo, no problem. Really really yeah, no problem. That's third world
There's a stray dogs they don't have stray dogs where you come it depends what kind of breed is roaming around I don't know oh
It is that's yeah, that's not third world
You're on GeoGuess to see a dog on the street. Yeah, I'm going Mogadishu.
That's like super white Instagram couple go to like Puerto Rico
and they're like, we brought back a dog.
TJ Oshie's going down to your hometown.
My mama will just find like a cat at Walmart
and just feed that cat for the rest of her life.
It's not her cat.
Yeah, that's a bad sign.
They have Walmart cats?
There's Walmart cats.
Of course there's Walmart cats. Is that like a bodega cat? There's Walmart cats, yeah, of course there's Walmart cats.
Is that like a bodega cat?
There's everything cats.
Bodega cats rule.
Stadium cats are my favorite cats.
Every stadium in America has like 15 cats living there.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, get rid of the rats.
That's cool.
I feel bad for Walmart birds.
Oh, any indoor bird, I always, I saw airport birds.
Airport birds, yeah.
Darryl and...
Oh no, no, I'm not talking about birds.
Are they still alive?
Daryl and Daryl are still alive.
Holy shit.
It's only been a few months.
I didn't, I mean...
It was April.
I gave them four days.
Yeah, but birds live a shockingly long life.
And they just, you don't have to do much.
Just...
Cool.
I'm afraid about them.
But I do, we now have places outside
where we hang the birds.
They squawk?
Whoa.
Don't hang them. I don't lynch my birds. You said? Uh yeah they they talk a lot. A lot a lot? A lot a lot. Yeah.
Do they are they? I'm used to it. I think it's a fun thing. Can they talk? Can they
speak English? No they can't speak English. They just do. Pump love dick. I love dick. I love dick.
Yeah, those birds are crazy.
Toucans?
No.
No, Perky.
That's his wife.
Got him.
Steven, how's the list going?
I'm 40-ish percent done.
You want to hear some?
No, let's wait till you're like 50-ish percent done.
Oh, I mean that's like one or two away okay so we'll wait writers black over they can afford are
they do you have what's do you have multiple different afflictions yes nice
I keep going I want to see the full list by the way we're sponsored by better
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Mouse, you could maybe.
Some better help.
Nah, okay. All right.
It feels like you did it last week with.
Yeah, I got some stuff off out in the open.
Yeah, I haven't shared in a long time.
Probably feels good.
It did.
But I'm not a therapy guy.
Oh, this whole thing seems to be pissing you off.
What the show whole thing is therapy just the whole the whole ordeal. What's your dream job? See you guys do this to me where you ask me these
questions. We try to get to know you? Yeah. Sorry. So bad at this. No I... what was the
question? What's your dream job? My dream job?
Mine's zookeeper.
It's not though.
Yes it is.
I've said that.
Why are you telling him what's-
You could do that right now.
That's not true.
Park ranger.
There we go.
Is this like money is no issue?
I couldn't do a zookeeper right now.
You think it's that easy, Jake?
Yeah.
You can't just become a zookeeper.
You can be like a gender of the zoo, but you can't just become a zookeeper.
Not a keeper.
Yeah, but like if you wanted to right now you could quit this job and go do that.
That's not, no I couldn't.
Train and do whatever and become a zookeeper.
They're not letting anyone in with the kids.
How would I pay for school? Who says I'm smart enough to get into a school, get a degree? I can't do that.
You don't have a degree?
Probably. Zoology?
That's a thing. Yeah, for sure. But do all zookeepers there
have a degree in zoology? It's got to be competitive, right? There's only some life sciences. What's
your dream animal? Where do you want to be? So I like the little, like the lemurs, and
I like the monkeys that you keep behind the glass that are like indoors. But do they require
a full-time guy or would you be going from animal to animal to animal?
Um, that's a good question. I don't know shit about being a zookeeper.
I worked at a zoo as like a volunteer for years and years.
Aquatics definitely has to be separate.
Yeah.
I love zoos.
There we go. See?
I mean, I would have loved to play goalie in the NHL. I've been cool
Yeah, does that count? Yeah dream job. That'll never happen. We that's probably the dream job sounds awesome
It's a dream. All right, I'm gonna guess that will never happen. Do you think you could be a decent soccer goalie?
Like professionally. Yeah, no, why not?
You're a lacrosse goalie, goalie it's the net is too big
that's one of my big qualms with soccer goalie the net is way too large yeah a
model for like a manual I could see you in a brochure the brochure model okay
you think I have like a generic enough face? No, you don't think I do. I think I have too unique of a face.
But yeah, that's what a bottle is. Bottles aren't generic.
No, but brochure guys, you want to be as bland as possible.
I feel like my eyebrows are too big for brochure.
You don't want to take away from whatever you're doing.
No, that's actually exactly like supermodels are not supposed to look normal.
Oh, but I was talking like a school brochure.
This stands out too much.
No, I don't think so. Mm-hmm
There's AI now you'd have you'd have to take care of it. You get it. Were you ever self-conscious about the brow?
Yeah, I pluck do you this is blocked that's blocked. Yeah, when you get your haircut, you can ask them to clean it up
That's right. Yeah, but I'm scared about
Shaving it because isn't that that makes you grow back thick. That's a wife, but they just clean it up
shaving it because isn't that makes you grow back thick that's a why but they just clean it up mmm what uh can you grow it out no it's I refuse to but will
it be like one oh yeah it won't be like Anthony Davis level connected it's crazy
that he just was like yeah I'm gonna have a unit yeah fact that shows how
good at basketball yes yeah he doesn't get enough credit for that mm-hmm if you
don't care about what you look like that's a good sign in a basketball player
I think how many are there?
Jared Allen it kind of became his trademark, and he couldn't yeah, he was the brow
I think he's yeah, it's more like a cleaned up though that I used to be no la got to him
Is it I think it's a little more like it's got like a fade. I think you're right
You would have like a tan line there if you shaved it
Yeah, I would look like Frida Kahlo, but I would it would be a lot
Bill Buckner had one
Famous unibrow George Bush does not have a unibrow the fuck did he?
groundskeeper Willie George W. No way
Search unibrow
They're jutting my culture is not your costume George hey now
Not not really Uh... Yeah... Not really.
Yeah.
No, not really. Oh.
Oh, that's George Harrison.
That's kind of what I would play.
That also was like before they had...
You... They didn't like have razors.
That's as hot as you can be as like a British.
That would be what it would look like if I left it alone.
Oh, that's fine. Like George Harrison, you play guitar.
Which I am not in the market to have a unibrow, as much as I already kind of do.
This is as good as it's gonna get, but I'm not gonna let it rage.
Yeah. What if the finalist that you pick is like, I am very attracted to your affinity?
Brows.
No, I think it looks bad.
Big Cat, if KB comes back in and jumps over the chair,
ignore it.
He'll be really devastated if you don't compliment him.
Is that what he's been doing?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah.
It's impressive, so be prepared.
Yeah.
Yeah, but just play it cool.
All right, so just completely ignore it?
Yeah.
Ask something else about him?
And don't even talk to him at all.
Yeah, yeah, bring up something to like Titus.
Yeah.
Ignore the whole thing. Just be like Titus. Yeah, ignore the whole thing.
All right, that's easy.
Just be like Titus as a good athlete.
Yeah.
Yeah.
TJ, can we put up the shirts?
So we have shirts now, Caleb put up shirts for,
dude, this flooding in Asheville in North Carolina
is so insane.
So all proceeds are gonna go to help people
who've been affected by it. Please buy
Appreciate it cool shirts good-looking shirts every single roadway to get into Asheville is gone
Yeah, I gotta get in there by like helicopter. I got a friend who lives there
He said he had to evacuate and it was just it's bad. It's wild like in and out of cell service
I saw they were using mules to like try and go over the mountains with stuff on them like with like water and stuff like that
Yeah, mules and drones. Begging for cigarettes and diapers
Equal importance. We gotta get Dana beer down beers down there like
Wait, can you call him right now and see if he'll go?
Already on my way there boss
It's one of my favorite things.
Was that?
Yeah, a tornado took my house and can't
replace a lot of things that are gone.
But at least Dana Beers is here with a sixer. Come on, Dana. What's he doing right now?
Dana.
Yo.
Yo.
You're live on the Yak.
Did you see this flooding in Asheville?
It's not funny, dude.
Did you need me, dude?
It's not funny.
I know what you're going to say.
What?
I was going to...
It's not funny. I was just asking if you'd seen it.
I don't think, for the record,
I don't think the flooding in Asheville is funny.
Right, you just laughed right away.
I laughed because I know what you're gonna ask me
to go save the day.
Well, I mean, they need beer.
If somebody puts up a thing on their roof
that says, come save us with beer,
I will drive there right now.
Okay, all right, All right. All right.
Hopefully someone will is hopefully have service and they
can watch the act and we'll go save them. I just want to
again. I want to clarify. I did not think that was funny. Yeah.
No, no, I understand. You knew what was coming. Do you remember
though when you did save Nashville? Yeah. I mean, it was
a classic memory.
Yeah. The people are still talking about it. Hurricane hits Nashville.
Let me know if I need to rent a car and save the day.
Okay. Alright, great. Alright. And yeah, just maybe repost Caleb's post for the shirts.
Alright, gotcha.
Alright. Okay, see ya.
He's the man.
He's in. He's in.
Let's make that quote card. Dana, have you heard about the hurricane?
Ha ha ha ha. She says that quote card Dana. Have you heard about the hurricane?
Yeah
Your check message has gotten two question mark reactions. Oh, that's it no other responses. That's not good What was his check message? I don't know I sent a check. Why don't you check the message? Let's put that in translate
Let's see what he said
I don't speak that language It's crazy. You're on just a text message thread with. Yeah. Isn't there an
a button that automatically trance translates it? He said, let's win it boys. Yeah. He did
one question mark, one skull emoji. I ain't laughing at that as a response. The fuck?
I don't know. Let's win it boys.
They don't seem too enthused.
Does your coach speak to you guys in Czech when you're playing?
So like a lot of the stuff that you would hear in like American lacrosse like the, I
don't know, you'd say like yellow if you wanted to slow down the transition or you'd
have certain defensive and offensive sets, those words are all Czech.
Everything else is pretty much in English.
But all of like the basic one word, two word things
we all know in check.
So you know yellow in check?
I don't anymore.
I usually learn it a week before I go.
And then I forget it.
This feels like a flaw in the book.
I don't anymore.
You're the goalie.
I brush up on my check when I go play.
How many goals do you think you've
led up by just not understanding what your coach is saying?
Well, he speaks to me in English so zero, okay
But I'm sure I would actually venture there was probably a good amount of goals in San Diego that probably would have been prevented had
I learned the language
Okay, I'm gonna be honest. Okay. I'm happy you're honest
But yeah, so February Portugal for the Olympics start the process, but you guys they're not pat. They don't care
I don't think they're really grasping the concept of the Olympics. Why yes, they are. I don't think they are
I think they're kind of doing this is what one of the other like lacrosse things
Is that early for the process to start for the 2028 Olympics? I don't know
This is the first time they've done this three years boys can become men in that process
Your team you're going to Portugal for how long? I don't even know when it is.
They just said, he just said, Hey, keep your calendar somewhat open in February.
We're going to have to do. Have you done that? Yeah. Well, is there
a after the Super Bowl? I figured there's a week in there somewhere to go do that.
That's a good plan. It's a really good plan. Fuck it.
Should one of us go with you?
Feel free.
Donnie.
Donnie.
Yeah.
Come.
Do you think we get Donnie on the team?
To play or you want to just be like a...
Play.
No.
Why?
Probably not.
You're too good?
At that point, yeah, probably.
If you've never played before.
Didn't you have like a 65-year-old man on the team?
No, that was the Polish.
The Polish had the 65-year-old. Or old or Denmark or something. Did you lose to them?
No, you're in Europe. We're very good. Yeah, I compared to the rest of the world the Europeans
So do you think you'll actually qualify for? Yeah, I think so. Who's the bet? That's so crazy in the world
Yeah, yeah, it's us Canada and the HOD Nishoni, which is like the Iroquois national team
They have their own team in lacrosse.
So it's the top three every year.
So you're going to be an Olympian in the LA Olympics?
If we get a team to all of the required events, then yes.
I just don't know if we're going to do that.
You're going to walk out in the opening ceremony.
Yeah.
Are you going to get the ring tattooed?
100%.
What the fuck?
This is what, remember, we found out that...
Oh, the green.
The green.
Oh my God, yeah.
You're already on the coaching staff if you want to be so I'll can I can walk out?
Come on. Wait, can he get the Olympic rings? Yeah, I mean I would walk out. Yes check team. Yes. Holy shit
Yeah, you've you've been this is it. Yeah, you're in you. I mean, I'm funding whatever you need
What was Caleb's thing at UNC was head of morale? Yeah
Check head of morale imagine if I walk out with the check team you're an Olympian yeah yeah Sarah P might have just opted back into the
stadium yeah holy shit I'm gonna limp though you're in yes fuck yeah that's
crazy the coach know about me oh yeah he wrote me to know right can you tell him
congrats on the baby I will me yeah thank you me. Yeah You guys think you could do maybe just
Maybe just add me to the whatsapp you want to get in there
If I have whatsapp. Yeah, I'll say big cat says congrats on the baby Brian
His name's Brian. Yeah, he's from New York
I'll check is Brian?
Zero.
So Brian is from like upstate New York.
He is a huge lacrosse guy.
He was working a lot of the international events.
I actually met him.
He was my boss when I interned as a helper for the 2018 World Championships.
He then was living in Israel for a couple years.
He got like kicked out for some visa thing, moved to Prague,
where he then basically kind of heads now the Czech lacrosse union.
And then he was given the coaching job for the national team.
He's been doing that for. So I'm on the staff.
Yeah, you're in. Yes.
I do. This is Joe.
I keep asking that. Are we sure he has?
I don't know, but I want to know.
I've got to walk. You're in walking out.
That would be the,
cause at least you were kind of associated,
but if I walked out in the Coliseum for the LA Olympics.
That's one of the coolest moments.
Ever.
Yeah, cause you're not just walking with the lacrosse team,
you're walking with their whole delegation.
There's a lot that you've gotten to do
that is considered very cool.
That would be the coolest thing ever.
Yeah, you're in.
Do I have to go to the game. So
Just walk out and leave I bet you'll be there guys, I bet you'll be there anyway
We know I don't want to go to the Olympics. Oh, no, you want to go the Olympics?
No, what if you're in the Olympics? Yes. Yeah. Yes, would he get the full check?
Uniform. Yeah. Yeah, you'd have to wear it.
I'd have to wear it.
What do the Czech uniforms look like this year?
I'll pay for them.
That's why you get to come.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Careful.
That's going to be a lot.
No, we're just going to wear Yaksha.
Wait, no, wait, wait.
Big Cat, you should fund a lot of national teams and keep walking.
Yeah, what if we were just the Grateful Dead did it with Lithuania?
What if the Yak just sponsored the entire Czech team?
I'll walk down the street.
I think it's more athletes than you think it is.
They sponsored the basketball team, they didn't sponsor the whole team.
Alright, so we're sponsoring the lacrosse team.
Yeah.
And we're going to wear Yaks.
And it's less people than the field lacrosse because this team is smaller
Six not versus whatever so it's less just so we're clear wasn't curious about that
I'm saying it's less expensive because there's less people. Oh, oh got it
You're just saying cuz you're completely uninterested. Yeah field lacrosse what what well
No, this the Olympic version is six on six versus ten on ten or nine on nine whatever got what you're saying now
I understand fewer athletes now and I'm just across to yeah, let's let's roster spot
How unrealistic is this though what you get to place like top eight in Europe or what?
I'm not exactly sure what the the numbers you have to hit are
I know last time we try to call when we qualified for the world championships
We were like we went undefeated in Europe just so we're clear
I'm gonna be devastated if we don't qualify so much like I really have a what the rest of the team doesn't seem to
Care that much. I don't have time to care yet, though. I kind of agree. Okay. I think that they are very much like
When it happens it happens the checks are weird way to get on it. Yeah, no, but there are
How many of these guys live in Europe just almost all of them are they?
Big cat can you do some financial incentive then to play harder or...
Yeah.
Well, also the Olympics...
They would do a dating show to get them green-collar.
Yes!
The difference, the big difference between this and what we just did last summer was
the Olympics is a lot more government funding.
Okay.
That, the financial burden is going to be less, which is great.
But the way you're treating this is like, oh yeah, this weekend I might go to a bar.
Like I might, February we might just go to the Olympics.
Go qualify for the Olympics?
Yeah, like what is going on?
I am only, I only have the information I've been given.
When in check.
Yeah, mostly in check.
So I'm on standby and they call me when they have
the bat signal up for the American guy.
But it feels like every other
Olympic athlete dedicates their life to make starting Yeah for the next Olympic guys are gonna just happen like that's sort of lacrosse now
What are there a lot of sports even the pros are like they have jobs and then they go play on the weekend
Yeah, I'd imagine we just get in the Olympics ourselves. Maybe probably if you find a niche enough sport
You probably could do everybody thinks I can do it in curling no. No, it's hard
Or like equestrian like what makes that skill easier to accomplish than a sport for you. I think you gotta be rich
Yeah, that's a rich girl. Okay. That's all it is. It's it's bobsledder loose
Yeah Okay, it's all it is. It's it's bobsledder loose Yeah
To be athletic to do any good curling but like
Curling is hard, dude. Yeah, rolling is hard. It's hard if we're saying the ones that have the easiest entry point
I think we have some bobsled to be a million times easier
Oh, you gotta run and push it first. No, if you're in the middle spot if you're the middle spot You still gotta run and push it don't you know, but that's Oh, you got to run and push it. First of all, if you're in the middle spot, if you're the middle spot, you still got to run and push it. Don't you know, but
now that's the but that's that's run and push. I understand
that. Right. Curling is like you have to have the touch and the
technique and the fucking strategy. I don't say person
could could do that more than they can do focusing on the
athletic skill that people have been doing. Like in Minnesota,
they just yeah, you're saying like I could just go in the
Masters golfing is easy. You just yeah, you're saying like I could just go in the Masters golfing's easy
You just kind of stand there and hit the ball feet, huh?
What I'm saying is I
Can I I'm saying is I literally could win gold and skeleton or lose?
That's our kind of easy when you put it down. Yeah, just go hit the ball put in the hole skeleton is loose
But facing forward for that scare
Just the two dudes laying on top of each other on the little thing two-man
You see like there is a d3 lacrosse team or like they had a Navy SEAL on the practice and 12 of the guys
Toughs lacrosse that's bad. He like turned their muscles into acid
What was making them do no idea that is so classic d3 lacrosse to that's gotta also take it so seriously the guys that didn't get
Rabdell you like you gotta feel like a cool. Yes
guys, yeah that
That is like the
Yeah, how long did it take him? Is this one practice or they 45 minutes put him through a name?
They didn't just quit
Yeah, I would have quit I would have quit no I would have quit. I would have quit. Your Olympic team for sure would have quit. Oh yeah we would
never have shown up. There was no like actual like sports drills it was just a Navy seal
workout. That's what I think. Yeah. That's so classic like Nescahac division. That's
what I played that freshman year. That's like my conference that I would like Trinity College is where I went
And that is quintessential D D three like mid-level lacrosse is they'll do that shit and then they'll like wonder why nobody wants to do it anymore
We have yeah, there's gotta be three can't can't be
Can't three treat D three like you're now you want athlete
Classic that's so very funny to read that is so classic. That's what I always say. Yeah, it's class, you know it
Classic the cross should we check in on the warthog list? Oh, yeah
Yeah, we're past 50% Oh, all right. Let me give an update on our best ball real quick
Wait, you just went only from 40 to 50
No, I'm at like, I don't know, 55 if.
55? You just slowed down there.
How many do you have?
2, 4, 6, 9, 11, 13.
Oh, I have 16.
That's... So half.
That's 50. Yep.
Well, you already had the Warthog, so...
By the way, the best ball update for us draft kings Nick
You're in first. Oh, yeah, I'm behind you in second, but you got a nice lead Nick. Yeah. Yeah, I drive
I got shit on too. Yeah, who do you got? He's got Jayden Daniels Kyron Williams Jayden Daniels
Probably why yeah are killing it Jayden Reed Jam, Jamar Chase, Saquon Barkley, Chris Alave, Quentin Johnson,
and Devontae Smith.
Quentin Johnson's need him healthy.
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I'm pretty much in last. Mark's, yeah, well he drafted as a joke
He did all I thought I was an expert
How's your any parlay's hitting?
Yeah, I got Kyle got rich this weekend. What's not golden, but to silver velvet to silver
So I've been doing I don't recommend this at all don't do this
The two to first touchdown parlay's two legs, and I hit two this weekend
For five grand you'd you get lad mcconkey and the Darius mcconkey and Derek Henry
Wait, and it was a parlay and I was running well to dare. Oh, I ran down Halstead all 87 yards
And I hit John Taylor and court Sutton court Sutton
so so now I have a bankroll I some wiggle room, so
Tonight I'm gonna go I'm gonna bet on the Titans score in first so there's only so many options right yeah
Pollard Ridley, maybe Hopkins
And then I'm gonna combine that with just like probably five or six of the
The other games line Seahawks, yeah
Look at you. We got baseball playoffs coming. Maybe to get some home run props. Yeah. No
gross no Maybe get some home run drops. Yeah. No? Gross.
No?
That's what he said.
I think Frank's not a touchdown guy.
I think Frank is in the middle of the game.
He's obsessed with the touchdown.
Can we check in on that?
Oh, this could be a real damn mystery for Flemming.
He's got a double header.
Mets have to win at least one game.
The Braves have just gone up 3-0.
Yeah, and then the Dolphins play tonight.
So if the Mets lose both, the D-backs are in.
Correct, which I feel like they're going
to do a gentleman's agreement, no?
Yeah, but if you're the Braves, don't you win the first game
and then snake them?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But you really would snake them, too.
Oh, it's not going well.
Look at Frank.
This one fucking won.
Look at Meekville's new hair.
Meekchill.
Oh my god.
Oh, yeah.
Has he got a high top?
Yeah, is that a perfect rectangle?
Does that get to wait till literally the end of the game
to decide?
Because if they lose, it's only 30 minutes.
Is Jankx doing OK?
No.
No.
No, I think he's got the most stressful job in America.
He's a constant ball of misery.
It's, it's.
A bedside nurse.
Yeah. He looks greatside nurse. Yeah.
He looks great though. Yeah.
He does look great.
You ever see his workout videos?
Yes.
With his pull ups where he'll just,
He'll pull up some crazy.
He'll pull up 10 times and then without him,
Kyle, you went and got a drink with him.
I got a drink with him.
I asked him about him and he was,
he just got on the floor of the bars,
miming them in front of everyone.
I was like, all right, that works. But yeah, he's got a one hell of a life. Yeah. It's a lot. It's a lot. Yeah. He's, he's like
a, he's like an emergency room doctor. He sees a lot. He sees a lot. He's always on
call. No exaggeration. Doesn't sleep well. I have to pee so bad, but I don't want to miss the affliction quarterbacks. Is there any ad uh?
Here just give me an empty water bottle. Yeah
Go go and then we'll finish the show with I'll do it slow to Nick. Thank you
See if you get back by the end of the ad
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There we go
Welcome back Nick are a jam big justice
Yeah, is anyone worried they'll like New York people better than us it's comedy HQ well
They're there on the day. Mets are playing with Frank and Kate, so that helps.
They came out to, they brought FIU out?
FIU.
And they tried to do the world's biggest boom.
Oh, no.
It was a doom.
Oh, what?
You got to be tickled pink.
No, I'm fine.
I liked them when they were here.
I liked them when they were here.
But you got to be happy that their biggest
They didn't break who has the record couldn't green screen their way out of it
Who's trying that? Um
Muhammad Atta. Yeah, that's a doozy
This is bottom out just not a lot of people there is the problem.
It's time to attempt the real record for the real.
Oh, that's it.
This is boom.
Are you guys ready?
Yeah.
Three, two, one.
Boom.
There's just nobody there.
It just doesn't seem like a lot of it is in there.
All right, Al.
Let's give it one more shot.
This is for the world's biggest boom.
We need everyone.
We have to break this record.
Three, two, one.
Boom!
She sounds like they're getting booed.
It does sound like a boo.
The biggest boom has to take place indoors
so it could echo, be louder.
Yeah.
Can't be outside great points any thank you
I thought about this
Che
Yeah, they got us Hit them with the countdown. I'm ready. Three, two, one. Boom! Oh, shit.
Yeah, they got us.
Yeah, they got us.
Yeah.
It's AJ.
If we're being objective, they got us.
Damn it.
Fuck.
Damn it.
You got out boomed.
I'm legitimately, I'm pissed.
All right, can I do something to make us feel better?
Jack Mack was a natural actor, though.
Make us feel better?
Yeah. We got a warth Make us feel better? Yeah.
We got a warthog list right now.
Yeah.
No one can do that.
This is the world's longest warthog NFL QB list.
Skin affliction, NFL quarterback list.
All skin afflictions.
Before we start, how many of these will be clever?
Let's ask Jay.
How many are there?
32. 16 I believe. Yeah's ask Jay. How many are there? 32?
16, I believe.
Yeah, about 16.
Over, under a half?
One half.
What skin afflictions are we working with here?
Let's save a little.
All right, all right.
Yeah, you don't wanna give away your afflictions.
Ooh, the suspense. Okay. Let's save a little You don't want to give away your reflections with a suspense
Okay Let's go Matthew Matthew Stafford infection, okay?
Jared golf a lot of acne
Guys that's pretty good
Jordan love to get rid of these scabies
Jalen my cold sore hurts. Oh,
think you could have done more with that one.
Back knee Mayfield. Nice. Kirk. Yeah, right. Kirk. My cousins
both have skin cancer. Oh, that's a good one. That's a good
one. Classic man with two cousins. And they both have skin cancer. Kirk, have you heard about your cousin? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Joe burrow my head to hide my zits TJ's late garbage
I mean, this is a pretty tough sign
TJ scabies or sorry CJ scabies for CJ's throughout okay?
Anthony rosacea franthine Richardson
You are working so hard on this man. I just mean Kirk Brock pretty bad acne, okay?
Sam darn all this fungus
Sam darn all this fungus dude
Sam darned all this fungus. Ah got it Vikings quarterback. Yeah, no I got that
Justin herpes, that's good. That one's a layup
Bo please nix my herpes that's good. That one's a layup Bo please nix my herpes
What you did?
It's common I'm still
Kirk pus skins. Oh, that's
Pretty good Kirk Huskins
Jay we say that one's better than yours
Yeah, yeah, I think that's a more compact. We'll collab
What it was it Kirk my
That one's a winner. Deshaun Wardson we did.
Jay and Daniel's the warthog.
Daniel Jones in to shake this eczema.
You're doing sentences.
Wait, Daniel Jones?
Jones in.
He's really inching to.
Jones in to shake, okay.
These are like fantasy football.
Yeah.
That's all I had, that's 16.
These are.
That was great, Jay.
Happy week. Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, you didn't beat the warthog though.
No, the warthog. No war dogs number one
cousins Kirk cousins
Kirk might look about Kirk my two cousins both have skin can we please get that on pro football references?
Don't have every name
Kirk my cousins have skin cancer both my cousins have skin cancer
We got to give him a sign. Yeah sign a jersey with that.
Oh, it's my cousins have skin cancer.
Well, fanatics print that custom jersey.
We should try both.
Yeah, yeah, because cousins plural. We could always to
come and pay. That's bad luck to only have two cousins and Yeah, yeah, cuz cousins plural we could always to yeah, that's just a common pair
That's bad luck to only have two cousins and both of them get skin cancer. Yeah
It's a genetic disease though, so
makes sense
Really good. Great job, Jay
Perfect name, but you gotta make sure you got checks
see if he has warthog.
Yeah, we're gonna need to.
All right, I have to go set up a QuickPix.
Yeah, we're gonna have a QuickPix.
We already spun the wheel.
It was the proper wild wheel today.
All right, good show boys. I'm very happy to be back did we ever do the first draft King's one. Yeah, we did sure did
Sure did
Can we for a court to be back
Yeah, so scheduling update. It looks like we will have
Wednesday Thursday, we're gonna have a person Friday
and then we can decide from there.
The remote person has to come in Thursday
for this all to work.
But they're all gonna be able to come in
on Friday afternoon.
It appears so.
All right, so it's perfect.
That's perfect schedule.
Yeah.
Way to go, Jay.
I'm really excited.
Have you heard the music that these people that work on the set? Yeah, it's something. They're odd people
What do they got they were listening to the Cantina band on loop for a while at the Star Wars?
Yeah
Odd birds out there man
Danny saw Doug on the bus oh
The video that's really it was like seeing a unicorn. Oh my god
Can we put out a scoreboard at the end of the week? Who's leading this cuz Danny? I think that's pretty fun
We're good over 80 points. Oh, this is about as many
You eventually notices
Does he notice yeah, he sits next to me.
That's a top flight dog.
The woman tells him I'm calling his name.
Oh, that's so cool.
That's a good ass dog.
It's like Pokemon Go with Doug.
Yeah, it's yeah.
Yeah.
He sits on my lap lap makes it funny. Oh
He is funny I need I need more I need more it's so funny
I want to just find him like while I'm on Google Earth
Yeah, we should make a where's Waldo book with Oh Geo guesser, but it's Doug
He has to answer the FaceTime every time wait that should be our yak book
We have somewhat like if we just get a bunch of pictures in front of the green screen
Yeah, we we are out of the book
Wait, it's too late. Yeah, we missed the deadlines, but pivoted we will do a calendar though, but we can do a book wait
What's the difference between a calendar and a book?
Yeah, I don't know a calendar is just a sideways book
Picture of Doug in each month. Oh Doug. Yeah hidden. Yeah, yeah, we'll do where's Doug the calendar. Yeah
Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's awesome
Perfect. All right. See you tomorrow. Please subscribe. Hey, hope everybody had a good weekend.
Sorry we tried to pull a little fast one on ya.
Didn't work.
Oops.
Okay, love you guys.
Let's have a good week.
Bye.
Bye.