The Yak - Steven Tells All About His Date with a Fan | The Yak 1-25-23
Episode Date: January 25, 2023Chocolate Pretzels. Not a dessert.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoo...lyak
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello.
Brandon's late.
Brandon Tardy.
Everyone's here except Stephen Shea.
Are you eating?
Are you just coming in raw dog meatball?
It's not a meatball.
I don't know what that is.
It looks like a falafel.
It might be a meatball.
It's a little Greek ball.
You're just raw dogging it?
You're just palming it.
What do you want me to do?
Well, can I see you throw it up in the air and catch it in your mouth?
Okay.
Please.
See, the diet's going well.
What do you want me to do?
It's fine.
I do pick Central at 12.
They announced at 11.55 there's free Greek food upstairs.
Oh, so you're like, what the fuck?
Between shows, I just went and grabbed as much as I could and I put it on a plate.
How many are in your pockets right now?
They're all on my desk.
Okay.
Just loose meatballs.
I just went and made me a plate and I'm going to eat it after the yak.
Sounds like you hoarded.
You do sound like you have tzatziki sauce in your throat.
I haven't.
There were potatoes and I threwiki sauce in your throat. I haven't.
There were potatoes and I threw like three
in my mouth
and I was...
Old potatoes.
Right.
Yeah.
And it was...
You want to go eat?
Go eat.
No, it was a lot to get it down.
No, I'll eat after the show.
You're going to have
a heart attack
from potato consumption.
No.
I eat a lot of potatoes.
Yeah.
No kidding.
Right.
Yeah. I eat a lot of potatoes. Yeah. No kidding. Right. Yeah.
I eat a lot of potatoes.
When your foot was gray
in here the other day,
did you see all the comments
being like,
serious talk real quick,
my dad had heart disease
and his feet were gray.
Like a lot of people.
My foot was just white.
It was gray that day.
It is not,
I do not have a gray foot.
Prove it.
I got a gray foot.
Yeah, that's gray.
Buddy, that's not.
Take the sock off.
Well, I got a gray foot.
It's serious.
Yeah, it really does.
You want to look at it?
There was like 20 different comments. I do too. Oh, my guy, I got a gray foot. It's serious. Yeah, it really does. You want to look at it? There was like 20 different comments.
I do too.
Oh, my guy Fieri socks, yeah.
It's not gray.
It's a little pink.
It's a little pink.
It's post gray.
Black on the bottom.
It's not black on the bottom at all.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Intergalactic.
It stinks in here.
You won't like him when he's angry.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no. The perp eats a falafel and he becomes
the Hulk.
What is this tech?
He got so mad at
he misled a falafel wasn't meat.
What the fuck?
Chick what?
I can't eat a food with chick in it?
I thought it was Chick-fil-A.
On a positive note though, your hair looks like prime Josh McCown
Thank you very much
On a positive note
It is prime
Prime McCown
Which I guess
On your McCown shit
Late in his career when he was a high school coach
Yeah
Bears legend
Looking like Macklemore's gay uncle
Yeah Yeah I can see that Oh look at you with the John Deere hat Yeah I like that Bears legend. Looking like Macklemore's gay uncle. Yeah.
Yeah, I can see that.
Oh, look at you with the John Deere hat.
Yeah.
I like that.
Something else.
It's a long brim.
It is too long, yeah.
There's no such thing as a too long brim.
No.
We should be getting some of those in the Barstool store soon.
Hell yeah.
A long brim?
Sounds like a Korean rapper.
What is a...
You know the small brimmed hat that you got?
Yeah, TJ got me.
I've seen fashionable people wearing that.
Really?
I think it's like fashion.
Is that in this season, TJ?
That's Brooklyn.
Yeah, I put them on.
I don't even think it was in Brooklyn.
I don't think I saw them in person.
I think I saw them via picture.
I don't know where.
It wasn't an NBA player.
I told Nick today I got another hat for him in the hopper. I saw him via picture. I don't know where. It wasn't an NBA player. I told Nick today I got another hat from
in the hopper.
On my radar.
I love this content of just giving me gifts.
Yeah.
Because that is Nick's love language.
Giving? No, receiving.
Yeah, that's my love language.
It's like one of the love languages.
Receiving gifts.
I'm a better gift receiver than giver.
I like to get toys.
That's my love language.
It makes me happy.
My toxic trait is if I don't like the gift, you'll know.
I will tell you.
I will cry.
I don't remember asking for this.
Did I ever say I wanted this?
That's weird.
Have you guys seen the video of that dude who bought the two Glocks and their BB guns?
No. I saw it on Twitter yesterday. It's hilarious. He you guys seen the video of that dude who bought the two Glocks and their BB guns? No.
I saw it on Twitter yesterday.
It's hilarious.
He shoots someone eating a burger?
No, his girlfriend comes home and he's like crying on the foot of the steps.
And he's like, I bought two Glocks for $100.
And she's like, why would you ever think you were going to get two Glocks for $100?
And he pulls it out and they're BB guns.
I'll find that video.
Why did he take them, though?
They look real as fuck.
Yeah?
Yeah.
That might be worth $100,000 then.
$50,000 each for real.
I was thinking that.
Yeah, he could rob things.
He'll just get shot by cops.
Yeah.
100% to go.
TJ, did you see the link I sent you, by the way?
Oh, yeah.
You want to just pop in for a sec?
Oh, is he at it again?
D2.
Whoa.
13 million people. Who is this? Who is this? You want to just pop in for a sec? Oh, is he at it again? D2. Whoa.
D2. 13 million people.
Who's this nerd?
Partner referred you.
That means they trust Grant and Elena Cardone.
What's his middle name?
And most of our partners-
Grant and Elena?
Maybe it's his wife as well.
Making an impact on their business.
So I want you to thank that partner in the chat for inviting you.
And if that partner is a Facebook ad, thank Facebook ads today.
If that partner was a YouTube ad, thank YouTube ads today.
Thank you, YouTube ads.
That's what we're talking about today is marketing.
And so we've got this biggest business event of the year was because of marketing.
This guy is not a great speaker.
And today's theme is marketing.
A like of the act is a like of Grant and Elisa Cardone.
So I want you to thank them in the comments.
Who invited you?
And if it's not a person, if it's like I saw a Grant Cardone video
or I saw a Facebook ad, I want you to thank them in the comments.
Guys, can we go to the bottom of the comments?
I want to be able to see who they're thanking.
People should be thanking the Yak right now.
All the way to the bottom of the comments.
Thank you.
There's hundreds and hundreds of messages.
I don't think this set is befitting of a huge event.
Stay towards the bottom.
Thank you, TJ.
Let's take that.
How many minutes until he actually says something about marketing?
Thank you, Eric Worre.
Thank you, Grant.
Thank you, him 500.
Is he reading the chat right now?
Oh, yes.
Let's get him.
Why am I doing that?
Thank you, Terry.
Thank you, Shanda. Thank you, Bill Allen. Thank something. Thank you, Terry. Thank you, Shanda.
Thank you, Bill Allen.
Thank you, TikTok.
Come on.
Thank you, Shanda.
Thank you, Russell.
Thank you, TD Jakes.
Come on.
Get him.
Get him.
Thank you, Billy Jean.
Thank you, Eric.
Like, thank you, Uncle G.
Thank you, Anthony Morrison.
These are – thank you.
Whoa.
This is marketing.
That's what this day is all about.
Now, I want to give you a few other stats.
These stats are amazing right here.
Thank everyone in your pyramid scheme.
This is marketing.
Multi-level.
Who told you to come here that you could make 10X your money?
I love the name Spectacular Smith.
Tag everyone in your upline.
Spectacular Smith is a great name.
And 871,000 comments.
All right, that should be our goal for the case race.
Okay.
There it is.
Let's see what it's called.
Is there any YouTube videos that have millions of comments?
Come on.
Yeah, for sure.
I mean, there's videos that have billions of views.
Okay, tomorrow on the case race, I want one million comments.
Spam that bitch.
Spam it.
I don't give a shit what it says.
Is anyone else a little nervous for it?
I'm so nervous.
I was our whole son of a boy dad today is about how nervous I am.
Zass broke down his strategy.
I don't even know if you can tell.
Don't tell them.
You want to tell your teammates your strategy?
Well, I'm going to compete.
But you want to tell your teammates your strategy.
We should probably talk.
Yeah.
Well, no.
It has nothing to do with the actual race.
It's more avoiding comments. It's her personal events. Oh. So you're not going to should probably talk. Yeah. Well, no, it has nothing to do with the actual race. It's more avoiding personal events.
Oh.
So you're not going to talk?
Yes.
Okay.
And if anyone says anything mean to me, I'll agree with them.
But you realize that your strategy is to not talk,
and then you're going to drink eight beers.
And then I'm going to talk.
Yeah, we talked about how after I have two beers,
the whole strategy is going to fly.
You're going to sing like a bird.
Yeah.
He does sing nicely When he gets a little
I am excited
I'm very excited
Tomorrow we'll do a one hour show
At one o'clock
And then Friday will be the case race
So we're going to tape it tomorrow night
Has anyone talked to Shane?
I texted with him
Over the weekend
Is he still in?
Yeah
Okay
Yeah
It was Stephen Shane might not be in
Yeah that's a problem
He got banged out last night
Someone needs to go to his house and pull him out of there.
Because you know he just has like a stuffy nose,
and he's like, I feel like I'm really –
I think he's got a runny ass.
He was well enough to work yesterday when he had tickets to the Knicks game.
Yeah, true.
I mean, Stephen, you should call in and at least give us your pick.
Everyone's got to like the stream.
2,100 likes.
2,100 likes and we'll give out the data pick.
Yesterday's boots on the ground parlay hit in the third quarter.
Unbelievable.
That was a plus 400 parlay.
Usually only gives out a flat pick.
Yep.
Dude, the one week when I aggressively tailed him was last week when he shit the bed.
Damn, I went 0-3 with Che.
Yeah, I got absolutely bodied by Che.
And then every other bet that he makes is literally, yeah,
are good bets.
They're good bets.
No hyperbole.
He had a hell of a night.
Oh, Steve, you said, I will be in.
He's like a 23-year-old who just got his first job and is drinking before going into work
and is realizing that he can get hung over.
Yeah.
He's hung over.
He's hung over.
He's hung over.
He's hung over because he had a fun-ass night.
Yeah. Feet on the wood.'s hung over. He's hung over. He's hung over because he had a fun ass night. Yeah.
Feet on the wood.
With Jinx.
Look at that.
I think it's Jinx.
Steven, call in and give us the pic.
Everyone liked the stream.
That Jinx?
Yeah, he's a cool looking dude.
He's a cool looking dude.
Super cool looking dude.
And he's snowboarding.
Yeah, cool pants.
He has to snowboard.
There's smoke coming out of his head.
Yeah, you're right.
He does.
That's a very hot man.
It's like he's getting fucked sideways by a smoke dick.
It's impaled his brain.
Do you think they fucked?
Yeah.
I think they at least kissed.
Yeah.
Just a light peck.
Gentle touching.
Probably lady in the tramp to chicken finger.
Yeah.
Yep.
For the big game.
Their hands touched on the popcorn bucket.
Just sat there for a second.
Grabbed the wrong dick at the trough.
Whoa, that's not mine.
Whoopsies.
Looked identical.
Steven is definitely the number one suspect on this show
to get gifts and somehow end up having to have sex.
Gay sex.
Oh, yeah.
My feet were on the wood.
He said I could go anytime I wanted.
He's on his feet on my wood.
Steven.
Hey, what's up?
You're sick?
Yeah, I have just like a little congestion,
so I want to kind of
get with that before I come back tomorrow.
I was sick on Monday I came in.
I don't think being congested is sick.
You sound fine.
I'm congested today.
I'm always a little bit sick.
I literally just blew my nose
before I got on the phone.
But, yeah, I mean, I'm not 100%.
I'm probably 65%,
and ideally tomorrow I'll be in the 80s.
Okay, so what is 50% if congestion is 65%?
That's like I have a winter hat on right now and I'm inside. Also, anything over 50% you got to take%? That's like, I have
a winter hat on right now and I'm inside.
Also, anything over 50% you got to be here.
0% dead.
I mean,
I know where the money's made and
tomorrow's going to be a huge show, so I want
to be at my desk for that.
I want to drag myself into work.
Yeah.
I mean, I did the bracket yesterday,
and I was sniffling and coughing for a decent portion of it.
And I also think that's inconsiderate if people come in and do that.
How was your day?
It was awesome.
Knicks won, boots in the ground parlay hit.
And, yeah, it was a good time.
We were second row behind the baseline um really cool i've
never been that close and uh yeah jakes was a fault was fun dude and uh we went to dinner
beforehand and then went to the game was a good time oh you're beautiful nice dinner dinner
uh it was like across the street at whatever that place is. Oh, that place. Like an Irish bar.
Did you pay?
I was going to, and then he actually snatched it.
Oh.
Interesting.
You're his little kitten.
Yeah.
I bought drinks when we were in the game.
All right, so, Steven, do you have your pick for tonight?
I do. Everyone liked the stream. All right, so, Stephen, do you have your pick for tonight? I do.
Everyone liked the stream.
Do we do enough likes?
Yeah, let me know.
What are we going, 2,100 today?
We need 2,100, yeah.
We're at 850.
Oh, come on, guys.
I like the stream.
Let's go.
Just get the pick for free.
Yeah.
If there's any incentive, the odds are moving a lot.
I put in the play 10 minutes ago, and the odds have changed a bit since then.
Have you announced the play?
I haven't, no.
I'm going to announce it here exclusively.
This isn't a play for anybody but you.
Who is these two passers-by?
What do you mean?
No, it's for everybody.
Everybody else is going to get a lesser version of it, though.
Well, I mean, I'm trying to help the show.
All right, so maybe just call back later.
Okay.
Yeah, let me know when we get to that, and I'll dial back in and do the pick.
Did you feel the sickness coming on last night at all?
Yeah, I felt it yesterday, but, you know, powered through it.
I did the bracket and then had the game.
So I was okay at that.
Like if I went in today, I'd be okay,
but I just knew I wouldn't be at close to 80% tomorrow.
So that's the focus, the case race, the cake race.
That's what I'm focused on.
What if you're at 79% tomorrow?
Do you think this will come in?
I'm worried about that too.
I mean, we're coming in no matter what percentage I am at
tomorrow.
Okay, alright, nice. Very selfish of you.
I mean,
I'm in a no-win situation. What do you guys want me to do?
I want you to be better.
Yeah, I want that, too.
I bought a lot of
remedies
today at CBS.
Alright, so call back in when you see 2100, all right?
Okay.
Can I tell you one thing?
What?
I legitimately fell and yelled in my room today.
I was sitting down.
I was actually watching the PMT Stephen A. Smith interview,
and I went up to go get something,
and I didn't realize my feet had been up on, like, an ottoman for about 40 minutes.
My left leg was completely asleep, and I stood up, and my leg completely gave out.
I yelled as I fell over, and I'm okay, but it was a humbling moment.
What kind of yell? What did it sound like?
It wasn't quite like you with the bug, but it wasn't a shriek,
but it was a yell like I had just been hit with something very hard.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Yeah.
All right.
All right.
Stephen, watch the stream and just call back in, okay?
Okay.
You got it.
Okay.
Bye.
All right.
Bye.
Bye.
So I thought it would be more appropriate.
We know, Stephen.
I wanted to hear from the other side of the date so jenks is calling in
right now perfect jenks we can interview him we do an exit interview he already gave me one anecdote
and it is full-on steven che um i'll let him yeah yeah it's good oh classic steven so he should be
calling in right now he's it he's on j. What's up, guys? What's up?
So.
I loved hearing the debate on how to pronounce my name yesterday.
Yeah, Brandon Butcherton.
It's close.
Yeah, he's very lost.
Thanks.
So, Jenks, we wanted to talk to you about how Steven was on the date.
Will there be a second date?
That kind of stuff.
But why don't you start with the anecdote you already told me,
and then we can go from there.
Yeah, totally.
So I think for me, the most surprising thing was how easily I managed to put some bait out there and get Steven to just agree to meet with a total stranger.
It was almost frightening how easy it was.
So I show up.
He brings me into the office, and he gave me a cool little lap around.
But he was very quiet and kind of nervous.
I figured he was probably getting me on camera in case i was gonna like kidnap him or something and then like he said we went we had a beautiful dinner just chicken wings drinks he
seemed very healthy like he was pretty much at 110 he was really wow and i'll never forget for
the rest of my life i looked at him and i said, you know, you can tell I'm a normal guy now and, like, everything's cool,
but were you not concerned at all that, like, I could have a van out front
and I'm going to, like, take you?
And he looked me dead in the eye and said, I could take you.
That's a perfect answer.
I was like, honestly, man man I've never done this before
But if you're gonna get kidnapped it's probably not just a one on one
Fight in the bar like I would have had it planned out
A little bit
So anyways just look out for Shea man
He doesn't just trust the numbers
He trusts people
He's not a robot
I just liked that he
He had done a ocular pat down
Of you and been like I can
Fuck this guy up.
The other thing is I was wearing kind of baggy clothes, and I really don't think he could take me.
So I think he was really off on all of it, which is, again, kind of scary for him.
Yeah.
I need to see your physique.
What were you going to say, Ron?
Just that he sees, like, to him, the the data or like uh the the stats are him which is
like a person like he sees data as human beings like he trusted data he trusts human beings because
he sees them as one in the same thing if a crosswalk turned green shea would walk into
traffic without thinking twice wow you. You know him well.
He would have
fucked him up.
He hasn't been on a date that good in
three, four years, honestly.
Great date.
What else about Che?
Any mannerisms or weird shit?
Dude, you're a beast. We're looking at your
Twitter pictures right now. You're jacked.
That guy's in long sleeves and you're in a tank.
Yeah.
I appreciate that.
So for Shea, I think as a date, he needs to be on his phone a little bit less.
Like, you've got to do some content.
He didn't get that much content during the game to justify being on the phone so much.
I also told him that I'm lucky enough to be buddies with Allen Houston,
and he was going to come over at halftime and say hello, which he did.
And then Shea promptly went to the bathroom right before he came over.
Wow.
Kind of a little bit weird.
This is a perfect breakdown.
It's not mincing words.
He also was very, very, like, fun, very cool.
But my whole thing at Knicks games is if you're in the first two rows as a fan,
you have a civic responsibility to affect the game positively for the Knicks. A lot of fans think that shit-talking
players is going to help, and it normally doesn't, especially the good players.
Instead, what you need to do is research the referees and throughout the game just
compliment them, just constantly throughout the game. All of a sudden,
the Knicks start getting more calls.
So last night, my big target was Bill Kennedy, 25 year NBA ref,
favorite music, Luther Vandross,
but up during an early free throw scream that at him.
And like, he looked right at me, big smile.
Shay, I think was super uncomfortable, but he played it pretty cool.
So like, that was a good date moment where like, you know,
I took him out of his comfort zone, but he came with me. Can i ask where you're from you kind of have a cool wayne's world
accent are you canadian are you scandinavian yeah where are you from i'm from new york but i'm
definitely a weirdo like i've lived in belgium i've lived in italy i've lived in california
friends that are rough around the edges i got corporate friends So I'm a little bit of a chameleon
I love it
So how did the date end?
Were you guys, was there a hug?
A handshake?
Is there going to be a second date?
I mean, well, first of all
I offered, you know, a second date
And I'd take anybody on the act on a second date
You know, too
I heard B-Walk wanted to get in
And, you know, I split into his DMs last night
So, welcome as well.
I think Jenks should just take a walk.
We all have to go on one date.
We have to go on one date with Jenks.
Oh, yeah.
Do a scorecard.
Yeah, after us down.
Yeah.
I'm a good dude.
I promise.
I'm a good dude.
I'm attentive.
You guys will let me know what your flow is, and then we'll rock it out.
But, yeah, so at the end was it was definitely a moment of of
you know what are we gonna do we get a hug are we gonna handshake you know maybe a little knock
bump maybe a kiss like i wasn't sure i wasn't sure where i was gonna go and if i knew he was
sick i probably wouldn't have done this but we bear hugs it was it was really nice oh wow
a lot of energy between us kind of like sparks everywhere kind of situation.
Not even a handshake hug, just a full ass hug?
Air hug.
Dick to dick?
Air hug, a bear hug.
Wow.
It wasn't a handshake and a hug.
We just grabbed each other like long lost loves.
It was beautiful.
Do you think when you were in the embrace of Stephen Chay, do you think that he might have been right that he could have taken you?
Did you feel his strength?
No.
I felt very safe.
Like, I was definitely – he's taller than me, but I feel like if I bear hugged him and squeezed as hard as I could, I could break his back.
Which I would never want to do.
No, no, no.
He's a man.
No.
Okay, so any other thoughts on Che?
I mean, this is a great recap of his date.
Something that maybe we wouldn't know.
Yeah, no, I appreciate it.
I think one thing I'll honestly say is you guys would probably be, like,
disgusted by how nicely he speaks of all of you.
He actually loves all you guys.
I was worried that was the case.
We're authentic.
Yeah, no, it's gross.
It's gross.
Like, I couldn't get anything negative.
The other one is he really cares about his tics.
So I was very impressed with that. And, you cat i do want to apologize i've sent you 66 nba picks over the
last 66 days and i'm 26 and 40 yeah like to me the one thing i'm doing for you there is anytime
you're down and you're in a real cold streak just always know i exist and i'm much worse than you yeah you're
never the worst you did the worst kind of giving picks to where the first one you gave was such an
like easy winner that i was like this guy is sharp and then i rode for i don't know like 10
picks and it was bad you can send me the invoice on that that's like totally on me that's my fault
that's all right. It's gambling.
I always, whenever someone sends me a pic, listen, I'm the one who has to put it in.
So I'm a big boy.
My system is the exact opposite of Shay.
I do no analysis.
When I'm doing my morning poop, I pull up the spreads and I send you my pic.
Yeah.
All right.
And you know, I hold myself accountable.
I always give you my record first.
That's a fact.
That's a fact.
All right. Well, Jenks, thank you for calling in. I think we got to set this up. I think Brandon, you got to go next. I hold myself accountable. I always give you my record first. That's a fact. That's a fact. All right, well, Jenks, thank you for calling in.
I think we've got to set this up.
I think, Brandon, you've got to go next.
I'm going next. If you think, Jenks, if you thought that Che was on his phone a lot,
Brandon is going to not talk to you the entire time.
I talk.
I'm a very good date at basketball.
Brandon will be the worst by far.
No, I'm a good date.
You wouldn't even acknowledge him.
No, I've already been talking to him.
I've been doing groundwork with him.
I'm good.
I'm ready.
You've been talking to Jenks since yesterday?
You already.
I told Jay, when you go, if this guy's cool, I want to go next.
I told Jay.
So, Jenks, I give you permission to kidnap Brandon.
I met you guys all in person in L.A.
when you guys were doing the Super Bowl week.
I was in the same hotel you guys were in.
Oh.
I actually sat down and had a drink with you guys, but I weirded out big cap big time because I wasn't sure what to do when I first
met him but I wanted him to like remember me so I took a knee to yell like you know the king of
the north like game of thrones or something I don't know why I remember this yeah yeah
I was like I was like a random dude and you you, and you got so weirded out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was a weird move, dude.
I forgot that.
Yeah.
It's a power move.
It's the opposite of a power move.
I appreciate it, though.
But hey, you're now part of the Yak lore, and Brandon's next up.
And I'll say this.
If you go Brandon and then maybe two more, and no one gets kidnapped, I'm ready for my
date with Jenks.
Consider it done.
Okay, alright. Don't fuck me over.
It's done. Alright, love it.
Alright, thank you, Jenks. Appreciate the call.
Thank you, guys.
Alright, one more, one more, one more.
What do you do for a living?
Take a guess.
Finance. Is it legal come on rowing instructor it's a cocaine dealer people legal
personalities like this what does he do sales does it involve money there you go real estate
sales yeah sales you're a sailor i get get to run a really great growth department at a company called BQIP
and just manage really awesome people that work their asses off
and make it really fun because sales is tough.
Got to be tough, not for the faint of heart.
I love it.
I like Jenks.
Yeah.
Dude.
All right, well, Jenks, thank you.
We'll be in touch.
We'll see when Brandon goes, then we'll go from there.
All right, guys. Be good. Good luck on the case race tomorrow. All right, thank you, Jenks. Jenks, thank you. We'll be in touch. We'll see when Brandon goes, then we'll go from there.
Alright, guys. Be good.
Good luck on the case race tomorrow.
Thank you, Jenks. I like Jenks.
I guess. I'm not ruling out kidnapping, though.
Well, if he kidnaps you, I think it's fair play.
But who's the target? He now knows he can get to the target if he just has
two or three or four good dates.
If the target's wrong.
That's a good strategy for kidnapping.
The first one goes perfectly.
You might have to say Big Cat's going.
Yeah, I'll say I'm going, and then we'll have Sas go.
Yeah.
Okay.
Then that way, if there's a van out front, we know.
What if Sas is the target?
That'd be fun.
He wouldn't kidnap me.
Well, if he did, that'd be fun.
Also, he wouldn't be prepared.
It'd be the easiest to kidnap.
If I was the target, me and Big Cat will switch, so he'll never know.
O'Shea's back with the pick.
O'Shea has to come back at him because he said some things.
No, I think you said all facts.
Well, Che, why were you on the phone so much?
Che?
Are you guys there?
Yeah.
Can you hear me?
Yeah.
Okay.
I mean, I think I was on my phone.
Over here, I wasn't playing a very good game, and that was my pick yesterday.
So, yeah, I was certainly following that. And then once once the parlay hit then i had to get all my stuff out
there um so i probably missed like three minutes of game action but overall i thought i was pretty
um fine i would check my phone certainly for the game also you missed alan houston you missed alan
houston what happened there yeah so i mean i had to go pee and he was like oh alan's gonna come
over and then he was like oh i think he might be at the buffet or something like that so i mean i had to go pee and he was like oh alan's gonna come over and then he was like oh i
think he might be at the buffet or something like that so i was like all right i'm just gonna go pee
i'll be right back but then the line was really long and um it was uh you know he's friends with
alan houston it would have been cool to meet alan houston but at the same time like gotta pee i'm
i'm yeah i mean i gotta pee so um that's not that of the wrong i didn't go i didn't go to
meet alan houston i went to have to have an awesome time next game which
Janks provided yeah I'll say just
the little I know of Janks from that phone call
I like him more than you
yeah no he's a good dude I want to
clear things up we didn't do a full bear
hug we did a bro hug
oh you're calling him a liar
was it one arm or two arms
I mean the right both of our right arms slapped and then you know a big
like grip with the left so air what's a bear hug versus bro hug can i bro is i kind of just do one
arm actually yeah let me see two arms all the way around the bear hug is like oh his handshake
but hug brandon yeah what's this first one the bro hug oh okay okay and the butts stick out so that's
some coward little baby yeah but i won't deny any like yeah i was on my phone i was checking
tyler hero stuff i gotta do it for the people i would have loved to pick a nixer cabs player but
you know the data didn't point to that as the best pick, so I didn't do that.
But the parlay hit.
So, yeah, I had to get that out there.
I'm always working.
And also, shout out Michelangelo.
He was, like, six rows behind us for some reason,
but he was there as well.
So, shout out?
Yeah.
So, a lot of people in the comments are clamoring for after the pick.
Yeah, let's do it.
Do the pick.
Pick tonight is Hawks guard deontay murray
under six and a half assists i very rarely do an under trey young's going back to oklahoma
he went to college there they played like a month ago deontay murray had three assists
trey i was going to handle the ball a lot tonight he's going to be the focus um so i think he could
have a nice game uh but i like murray to be six and a half assists. He's also done this only one time in his last 15 road games.
So they're just pretty strong.
He's way fewer assists on the road.
So I like this play.
Okay.
Thank you, Steven.
See you tomorrow.
I'll tweet it out.
Yes, I'll see you guys tomorrow.
And, yeah, that was accurate.
And, yeah, he pretty much was like, how come,
are you sure I'm not when you, when he was phrasing up the question, how do you know I'm
not a kidnapper? I did. I was like, what the fuck is wrong with this dude? But then, uh, yeah,
I mean, he's, he's definitely in good shape and he's a strong dude, but I don't know.
Would you beat him in physical combat?
Uh, he would probably beat me, but it wouldn't be an easy one like i'm a lot bigger than him so
uh as far as he's definitely stronger than him yeah i'm a lot taller than him he's probably like
five ten five eleven okay what kind of nice stuff were you saying about us though well you're like
six two i don't think you're a lot taller than he is uh six two and three quarters my bad uh what
what were uh what were you saying about all of us he
said that you were like super nice about all of us yeah so i don't know if you guys remember this
so we met him before yeah he brought that up wait why was he at our hotel that might be you guys
remember it was it was like the last night we were all there and it was it was right after the last
yak and we're sitting at a um this is when it clicked for me.
We were sitting at a –
Yeah, I remember this very well.
Yes, and he was with a girl, and we were like, whoa, who's this guy?
Oh, yeah.
He made a comment, and he bought us all drinks.
I think he was super drunk.
Yeah, I remember him.
Yeah, he was hammered.
Well, that explains the one knee.
Yeah.
The north. Yeah. That's okay. Yeah, he was hammered. Well, that explains the one knee. Yeah. The north.
Yeah.
That's okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I was just, you know, he was just like, yeah, I wonder if these people are really nice.
And I was just saying, yeah, everyone's really nice and all that.
So, yeah, I think Brandon is right for that next.
And I'd be happy if all you guys went to a nickname of this guy.
We're going to do it.
We're on the gauntlet.
Okay.
See how it goes.
Great. All right. Thank you, Steven. Love it. Love're on the gauntlet. See how it goes. Great.
All right.
Thank you, Steven.
Love it.
Love it.
Love it, brother.
The act goes on a date.
I mean, it's a great science test.
I don't think the date's going to get to you.
You think so?
I want to make him fall in love with me.
But it's always the Knicks game?
Or, like, can we...
I'm going to wait out for playoffs.
Big Cat, you're the final boss here?
Yeah.
So who's after you, Brandon?
I don't know.
Who's up?
Who wants it?
I want him to take me to the MoMA.
I want to go somewhere nice.
Let's go to the Philharmonic.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I'd like to just putt-putt with him.
Yeah, just something simple.
I don't get the sense he has the tickets every game.
He said he has to ask for them.
So he told me to pick out a few games in February that I would circle.
What are we looking at?
Not a great slate in February for the Knicks.
No.
They play the Lakers 31st.
But are you going to that?
What's that, Monday?
Tuesday, I think. Tuesday? Maybe. are you going to that? What's that, Monday? Tuesday, I think.
Tuesday?
Maybe.
Is Pat going to be in studio?
No, because I have to go to Arizona this weekend for a gambling competition when he's in town.
Drats.
That's poor planning.
Drats, yeah.
And also the Eagles are in the NFC Championship.
Yeah, all the stars are.
What's the opposite of aligning?
They're delining?
It's aligning.
Yeah, it's a black hole.
Going into a black hole.
It's bad news, but he's going to go on out and about instead.
Oh, that's good.
Oh, we're fine.
He'll like that.
Yeah, the ins and outs of basketball.
He didn't like you making fun of the autistic rapper.
No.
Yeah.
That was pretty funny.
I know.
I don't think he understands how I did it, though.
I was tactful in my making fun of.
I wasn't just blanket statement, basic insults, making fun of him.
Tyler Miller tweeted the clip in 10180 that Pat did.
Yeah.
He was like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Did LeBron have 47 last night?
Yep.
Yeah. I saw some of the highlights.
It was making me laugh.
He's so good.
Yeah, but all the highlights were like, LeBron for three, and they're down 25.
Yeah, but he's so good at basketball.
It's insane how he's getting better at basketball.
It's a hot take.
This is a hot take right now.
He's averaging 39 and 8.
Makes it hard to hate him.
Nah.
It's kind of hard to hate him.
He's so good.
I also got mad at the fan.
The fans are assholes and idiots.
Unc vibes.
Yeah, fuck with Unc, though.
I think Pat Bev was wearing the same sweatshirt as Unc,
or sweater as Unc in that last interview,
which is like a $3,000 sweater.
Maybe too much to pay for a sweater is a hunk in that last interview which is like a $3,000 sweater maybe too much to pay
for a sweater
nah
statement piece
yeah I don't know
what's the most expensive
clothing that you guys
all have
piece of one cloth
cloth
like $35
I was gonna say
I don't even have
I think just a pair of shoes
yeah
what's the most expensive one
I think the off-white Jordans are like $1,000.
Everything else is...
I mean, I'm wearing $45 shoes now.
That'll hardly get you tungsten.
That won't get you tungsten.
I have a hat that's like $150.
Really?
Yeah, mine's the hat I'm wearing right now.
Wait, let me see, TJ.
Where'd you get it?
Like a vintage store?
Mine's a Tilly. I don't wear anything. Tilly? I got a T see, TJ. Where'd you get it? Like a vintage store? Mine's a Tilly.
I don't wear anything.
Tilly?
I got a Tilly.
I was wearing a Montclair beanie in here that was $3.99,
but I got it from Chinatown for $19.
Oh, hell yes.
So it's fake?
Oh, yeah.
What's the most expensive piece of clothing you own?
I own just definitely a lot.
You have a suit.
I have suits that are expensive.
I have like a $1,200 suit.
Yeah.
That's probably the most expensive.
Mine are bridesmaid dresses. Mine are bridesmaid dresses.
Yeah, bridesmaid dresses.
You wear once and then never again.
I don't even have a suit.
Those pants you guys made fun of that you thought were for D&D, that's probably my most expensive.
Really?
How much?
It was like $250 from the restaurant.
Oh, no.
I know the grail god over here is being a little bit quiet.
This dude's got pieces.
Yeah.
It's your most expensive. What's your most expensive?
What's the best one?
I think I got a 1500 crew.
What?
Maybe a little less.
A 1500 crew?
What does that mean?
Maybe a little less.
A crew, crew neck.
Maybe on some 1492.
Is that a t-shirt?
Lumbus on my shirt.
Oh, shit.
T-shirt, not the crew neck.
That's crazy.
And we've seen it probably?
Yeah.
Is it the Tasmanian Devil one?
Also that.
It's the one with the twin towers?
That's a light two, but.
Fucking.
That Olympic one that I copped.
Right.
Mac Miller.
Mac Miller.
Wait, the one you took from my pile?
No way.
No, the one that's like all, it's a crew neck.
Where did I get that?
I saw the clip.
And by the way, I am very much, they were giving you shit.
It was under the pile for probably 10 months.
I'm backing you up.
Me pile, Sue cut pile.
How is that different than going to a thrift store
and finding it?
It's all about the eye.
I don't care.
If anyone wants to take stuff from my pile,
they're more than welcome. That's what it's there for.
Take cash off his desk.
Just come on over. I throw stuff on the
pile. Yeah, that's the thing.
Other people throw stuff on there. It's community.
Pile's for everyone. Yeah yeah i sneak stuff in it don't feel shame that is a sick sweatshirt though it is sick it is i didn't know it was for my pile that really tells you how deep it is there are gems in
there oh there's there's crazy things in the pile what's the expensive crew neck? I'm racking my brain on your fits. Where'd you get it?
I'm trying to think if I wore it.
I got it from a website.
Oh, shit.
An online thrift.
I don't even know how I ended up having that.
You look good in it.
I would not.
Thank you.
The fact.
I wonder what Rudy's is. Oh, Rudy's. Oh, NK. Thank you. The fact. I wonder what Rudy's is.
Oh, Rudy's. Oh, NK.
Crazy fits.
He's wearing like the Frank Ocean necklace.
Yeah.
That's like two grand.
Yeah.
More on.
Idiot.
I gotta get new shoes.
Maybe I'll drop some,
drop a hundred on some shoes.
Oh, shit, Seth.
Shit.
Wanna get some Air Monarchs?
45 bucks? I got a new colorway that just came in.. Oh, shit, Seth. Shit. Want to get some Air Monarchs for 45 bucks?
I got a new colorway that just came in.
I might have to, actually.
Look at the soles of my shoes.
Oh, what are you doing, dude?
Yeah.
Oh, Seth.
That's not comfy.
No.
That actually isn't bad at all.
Yeah, it is.
No, thank you.
I will say my socks...
One chance we're letting you complain.
My socks keep on... My socks keep ripping, which is annoying I will say my socks... One chance we're letting you complain. My socks keep on...
My socks keep ripping, which is annoying.
Yeah, because you just have your feet on barbed wire.
I think this one might be worse.
Are the shoes like...
This one's way worse.
Come on, Seth.
Oh, buddy.
This guy has mice?
What?
What are you doing, Seth?
One of the hobos attacks...
I just don't like getting new shoes because I always get blisters.
So I'll wear them until they rip.
Any other pair of shoes I have, they usually rip on the sides.
Why do you get well-made shoes then or something?
Well, these haven't ripped.
I mean, they're fucking crumbling.
These are in perfect condition.
I had someone, I was on stage a couple weeks ago,
and some dude was like,
your shoes look like they went through the Civil War.
And I didn't have anything to say.
I was like, yeah, you're right.
I don't think that those are...
They fought for the...
Ah, never mind.
I didn't make a joke there.
And then he left because I made a joke about COVID.
Seriously?
Yeah.
They got pissed.
They were like, it's not real. They They were like It's not real
They were like
It's not real
Oh
The joke wasn't even about COVID
I was just telling a story
About when I had COVID
And they were like
COVID's not
It's not like a real thing
And then
They laughed at the joke
Actually no
So they didn't leave on that
They laughed at the joke
And then I said something
About monkey pox
And that's when they left
Ah
That was too much
For them to handle
One too yeah
This was in Bridgeport, Connecticut.
Let's get some new shoes though, Sass.
I have a brand new pair of Converse.
What size shoe do you wear?
You don't know?
Well, because I change it a lot.
Sass' Angels, it's time to get in formation
and send him some...
It's time to gift Sass some shoes to the barstool office.
Send him some nines.
No, I have a brand new pair of Converse I just have to start wearing.
Just got to break them in.
Sassy's Angels, you know what to do.
I got my L.L. Bean hiking boots.
Throw those on.
You're good.
Yeah.
I'm a minimalist.
No.
Are you? I mean, in a way. No. Are you?
I mean, in a way.
I don't have anything.
No, you're not.
The only thing that I want more of is crewnecks.
That's the only thing I ever want more of.
What do you spend money on?
Beer and pool.
I guess, yeah.
Hotel rooms.
Video games.
Rat traps. Rat traps, probably. Yeah rooms? Video games? Rat traps?
Rat traps, probably.
Yeah, that's your biggest...
The only video game I play is free.
Warzone's a free game.
So where does all your money go?
Warzone's free?
Yeah.
I didn't know that.
I mean, but the whole game, you have to pay for it.
But you can buy just the...
You can get just the Warzone.
Oh, okay.
That's what I did.
And you want to do the high noon ad?
Why do you have the meatball just sitting directly on the...
I haven't even eaten it.
Is it falafel?
It's not good, yeah.
Throw me that falafel.
I knew you wouldn't like it.
I don't like it.
Falafel? I like falafel.
I love it.
That was a bad throw by me.
Oh, Ron.
It's a little...
It's going to take you a lot of chews.
You're going to have the dipping sauce in it.
I think it's nice.
It's going to take you a lot of chews.
Are you not going to zone out? You just going to take you a lot of chews. You're going to have the dipping sauce in it. I think it's nice. It's going to take you a lot of chews. Are you not going to zone out?
You good?
Where's the yak sheet?
What was why?
Why would Big Head zone out?
Can you pick that up?
This is going to be out of the week.
Pick what up?
The papers.
Why?
Because then I have to pick them up.
I'll get them.
I'll get them.
I'll get them in a minute.
High Noon.
Presenting the yak today.
High Noon is a hard seltzer made with real vodka, real juice, and sparkling water.
It's actually made with vodka and not with malt like other hard seltzers, Ron.
You still aren't able to talk because you're still chewing on it.
I hate malt.
And I think malt is terrible.
And I think anyone that drinks malt is probably a bad person.
High Noon has real juice and real vodka for real people just like us.
Head over to your local liquor store and get some today.
They have some of the best flavors in the game, like your peach, your watermelon.
The new flavors last fall were pear and cranberry.
I hear it coming down the pipe.
We have kiwi.
Might happen.
So we have kiwi, passion fruit.
Passion fruit.
Guava.
Guava.
Black cherry. Black cherry. Black we have kiwi, passion fruit. Passion fruit. Guava. Guava. Black cherry.
Black cherry.
Black cherry was one of the originals.
Yes, it was one of the originals.
Yes, exactly what you just said.
You said it was one of the originals.
Yes, it was.
You said it was one of the new flavors.
I didn't mean to say that.
No, I said it was one of the good flavors.
No, you said there was the new flavors that came out last year, and then you put black
cherry in the list, which confused me.
No, no.
I said the two new flavors were pear and cranberry and then I said all the other great flavors.
Then we said kiwi, guava, and then you said black cherry, which threw me off.
The black cherry is delicious, you would agree.
It is delicious, but it's definitely not the new.
Even though it's not new, it's still a delicious flavor.
It is.
So kiwi was a new flavor last year, so was guava and the passion fruit.
Yes.
And of course-
Watermelon was new, actually, I believe, too.
No, no.
No watermelons and no G2. No, watermelon hasn't been around forever. Watermelon's been around longer than all the passion fruit. Yes. And, of course, the – Watermelon was new, actually, I believe, too. No, no, no.
Watermelon's an OG, too.
No, watermelon hasn't been around forever.
Watermelon's been around longer than all the other ones.
It's not true at all. Watermelon's –
Black cherry, I think.
Watermelon's not –
I want to say black cherry.
Watermelon for High Noon's been around a long time.
I know.
It's going to win awards.
This ad is going to win awards.
I don't know about that.
I don't know about that.
Green the watermelon is good.
Watermelon's my favorite one.
That's why I know it's not one of the others.
Well, I like the peach.
That's what I like.
I like the peach.
High Noon, check it out at your local liquor store today it's delicious big bad boys good job the jews aren't okay i know i was listening the whole
thing he was talking about watermelon okay tolerant i think watermelon was probably a
an original flavor actually i want to say it was pineapple Black cherry Grapefruit
And maybe peach
I think minty menthol was one of the first
I think watermelon was
Watermelon wasn't
Minty minty menthol I think was up there
Phone charger in here or no?
Chamomile
There's usually one by Sass
I stole that.
Damn it, KB.
I fucked around and got a dog last night.
What?
I'm sorry, what?
What?
Oh, yes.
Yeah, a puppy.
I got a dog yesterday.
Wait, what?
Do you have pictures?
A little close to my birthday.
And when's your birthday?
Monday.
Tomorrow.
Yes. Fuck, dude. I didn't mean nothing by it You're good
You got a dog?
I got a rescue
It was from the Texas-Mexico border
It came up to Connecticut
And we got approved
And rode up and adopted it last night
Shut up is it your house right now? Yeah Can I see a picture? and we got approved and wrote up and adopted it last night. It's a little tiny.
Shut up.
Is it your house right now?
Yeah.
Can I see a picture?
Send it to TJ.
Let's see his dog.
What's the dog's name?
Jalen?
I think Penny.
It's a girl.
Penny's a good dog name.
It's a girl.
She's tiny.
Look at you.
Yeah, dude.
I got a fucking dog.
I'm pretty fired up about it.
That's awesome.
Damn.
Any advice? I've never had a dog before. Is it a fucking dog. I'm pretty fired up about it. That's awesome. Damn. Any advice?
I've never had a dog before.
Is it a big dog?
A little dog?
A little tiny.
Pretty tiny.
You got to love that thing to death.
Don't ask Brandon.
Promise me you'll love it.
Snuggles for days.
Doesn't it look?
Dude, it's pretty big.
What are you talking about?
It's not a tiny dog.
How old is it?
It's two months old.
You can tell by its paws. What type of dog? What breed? It's not a tiny dog. How old is it? It's two months old. You can tell by its paws.
What type of dog?
What breed?
It's a mutt.
Love it.
It's a...
Credit to you for adopting.
It's a mix of herding dogs.
It's always trying to herd.
It's always trying to get behind you.
You've only known it for like eight hours.
How do you know it's always trying to herd?
Every time.
I mean, I'm trying to potty train, so I take it outside like every fucking,
I mean, if it doesn't pee every 15 minutes.
Roast beef.
Every two hours after that, what?
Potty train.
Really?
Yeah.
When I was potty training Stella, it was if you get like a meat that is just,
they're not going to eat normally, so it's a very big treat,
and the minute they start peeing outside, you just shove it in their mouth.
Oh, yeah?
You get this when you pee.
Yeah, that's what I was trying to give them.
It's got to be something very different.
My dog, though, started faking peeing then to get treats.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Did you guys crate train your dogs?
Oh, look at that.
That's going to be...
That dog's going to be a decent size.
The paws are pretty big.
It's pretty tiny right now.
Yeah, but it's two months.
She's so cute.
It's pulling up on me like a fucking electric vehicle, too.
It's fucking silent, and so it just keeps on fucking riding up behind me.
We crate trained, tried, and then...
It all depends on whether your dog is like a chewer like stella
never ate shoes or anything so then we just let her she just hangs out yeah this one i don't know
i can't tell if it's going to be a chewer but i want to yeah i don't know i don't know what the
right things to do are when you have a dog i don't know it's it's good to create try to create train
yeah yeah try it yeah you i mean because especially if you're like going out like on a
saturday night it's like you don't want to you trust it and it's a puppy still you know if you
ever go out of town i can keep it for you oh i already signed up for that that's actually and
he wants to keep it alive all right he's not trying to add it to his fucking barn wall with
the fucking rest of the pelts that you have up there. Look at you. You're going to be a dog park person?
I have a barn.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, I guess I am going to be a dog park person.
I don't know.
I am terrified of killing it too, though, Brandon.
I empathize with you.
It'll happen quick.
The only advice I can give you is that when you get a dog,
the first year you're going to take it to the vet way too much.
Yeah, I was about to take it today.
Yeah, like any little thing.
You're like, what's wrong with the dog?
And then you realize after time, like, dogs will throw up every now and then dogs will
you know do weird shit every night like you don't the vet doesn't but you got to learn that on your
own yes it's taking the vet just don't take it no no take it the vet but eventually the vet's
gonna take it eventually the vet's gonna be like you don't need to take it in for this now that i
had this life hack i'm never gonna take it. You ever have a dog, KB?
Never.
Yeah, I never have either.
I never had one growing up.
Never had one.
No, it wasn't a loud one.
Was this thought out or was it spur of the moment?
No, it was thought out.
It was thought out for a while.
Trying to find the right one.
Trying to find the right rescue.
Don't want something too big for the city.
Want something young enough.
That dog's going to be decent sized.
His parents are, I think, around 20, 19, 20 pounds, so it's not that big.
But who knows?
I wouldn't mind if it got to mid-size.
30?
Nice mid-size.
It's gone.
You think so, Saz?
Oh, yeah.
Is Saz going to come over house, sit, throw a party?
Yeah.
For the dog.
Super Bowl week?
Yeah.
Yeah, I might have to.
Look at you, dog owner. Yeah, dude, I'm pretty fired up. Walking Yeah, I might have to. Because you dog owner.
Yeah, dude, I'm pretty fired up.
Walking it, feeding it, and shit like that.
It's a gigantic announcement.
Yeah.
You think it is?
I don't think it actually is.
It's a big announcement.
I don't think it's gigantic.
I was 45 minutes into the show.
You just got your first dog.
You added a family member.
Yeah, it's exciting for me, but I don't know if it's a big announcement.
Oh, that's a big announcement.
It's a big announcement.
That's one of your security codes, my friend.
That's one of your security questions.
Yeah, penny123.
Yep, there it is.
Fuck.
Damn it.
Gotcha.
I was thinking about doing a Latina name
because it was from down by the border.
Ooh, Juanita?
Yeah, something like that. I did pitch
Juanita. We got close to
Paulina, but I wanted to say
Paula. Yeah, Penny's
a good name, though. Don told me that they got close
to Tortilla.
It's hard to name girl
dogs. It was an easy no for me.
You think? Girl dogs are
easier than boy dogs. Oh, no, I disagree. I think
girl dogs. Any name that ends with I-E., Sally, Maggie, Molly, they're all good.
But guy dogs, you can literally name any name.
You see a bulldog named Kevin, that's cool.
That rocks.
That is awesome.
Tom.
He could name the dog Rachel or Heather.
No, you can't have a dog named Rachel.
Name it Rachel.
Name it Rachel.
No, no, no.
Rachel.
Sarah. I want to have a girl dog named Heather. Imagine have a dog named Rachel. Name it Rachel. Name it Rachel. No, no, no. Rachel. Sarah?
I want to get a girl dog named Heather.
Name me a dog Sarah?
I bet there's a lot of dogs named Sarah.
There's no way.
There's that website you can type in names.
It's like most common dog names.
It's if your name is more dog or more human.
Yeah.
Have you seen that?
Guy names, all guy names work.
I bet I'm getting nine DMs from people right now that have a dog named Sarah.
No way.
A lot of Sarahs out there.
If you see a dog named Tim, that's funny.
Yeah?
It is.
I had a Chester and a Lester one time.
Those are, yeah.
My dog's names are Lilo and Stitch.
Really?
Real original.
We talked about Lilo.
That was before the movie came out when you got him.
Yeah.
Well, the way they came named.
Can't change the name.
You can change the name.
They were already like, I think they were like six months or something.
Stella's name was mama really we didn't change it pause chicago where uh i adopted they just do i think it's just like the person who works that day gets
to name them all because we went a couple times to look and one day one day we showed up and it
was like the dog's names were like coke sprite root beer that's my cat spork his
name is spork yeah the list was like fork knife and i was like i'll take spork i think we just
got she just got it you know was showed up to the to the pound when it was you know date like
dad mama yeah brother i'm glad we're not drinking mama coffee yeah no that was changed very quickly
i like mama as a name.
Mama?
Mama as a name?
I don't mind.
I think it kind of works.
Mama?
Mama?
We buy Mama Coffee as well.
Hey, Mama.
The original name of the one that we adopted was Sass's Address,
so I had to change it because I didn't want to dox him every time I called the dog.
Oh, really?
Yeah, it was your street name.
98 Waverly Place? 7th street name. 98 Waverly?
7th Avenue?
It was Waverly.
It was Waverly.
That's too long for a pet name.
Yeah, that's like a town.
Waverly is not a good name at all.
Yeah, that's why we were like,
Get out.
It's too much, brothers.
You got a fucking dog.
I'm frowned up about it.
It's huge.
Are you excited to get home from work today? Big time. It's way more exciting when you have a dog. Yeah, I. Rocks. That's huge. Are you excited to get home from work today?
Big time.
It's way more exciting when you have a dog.
Yeah, I'm getting the fuck out of here.
Hell yes.
I'm playing catch with Spider anymore.
I think Dave wanted you to do an overtime today.
Dave did?
Yeah.
No.
A double.
What about with your travel schedule?
A little worried?
I am.
My wife will be able to work on it some,
and there's pretty good dog daycares in the neighborhood.
SAS has volunteered.
There's dog walkers, too.
Dog walkers.
It wouldn't make sense for you, Brandon.
You live so far away.
My brother-in-law has a dog in Pennsylvania.
He has a dog training service or something like that,
so we can take it to his...
He's got some acres out there.
Those don't work. You don't think? Well, he's making money off it to his... He's got some acres out there. Those don't work.
You don't think? Well, he's making money off it.
You've got to train your dog yourself.
When I say that, you just
know that it can sit and that's about it.
This dog's already sitting, bro.
Oh, that's not good.
It's already sitting? Too early?
Too soon? You're going to have to take it to the vet.
Yeah.
You're sure it's not 12 years old?
My dog's already tired.
It should not be sitting right now.
Fuck.
A lot of two months.
Fuck.
Yeah, I can't even take it to daycare until three months.
Don't dogs, I think when they're puppies like that, they sleep for like 20 hours a day.
Yeah, but when they're up, they're up.
Yeah.
Also, people lie, like puppy lasts till like five.
Yeah.
In terms of energy. Five years old? Yeah. Yeah. Uh, people lie, like puppy lasts till like five. Yeah. In terms of energy.
Five years old?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh-oh.
They don't start mellowing out till about five.
Yeah.
My dog is seven and he just lays.
It's all, yo.
He's the laziest dog of all time.
He just huffs and puffs and lays down.
Yeah.
I know that's how big sighs.
How much pounds does he weigh? how big size. How much how much pounds
does he weigh?
Probably like 50.
How much pounds?
Is he fat or?
Super.
Or a good 50.
He had to lose
a lot of weight.
Are his feet gray?
That could be
heart disease.
No, no.
He's got Grinch feet.
What?
They're green?
Green.
That's also a problem.
Oh, I guess
he looks like Harry? Yeah. That's also a problem. Oh, he looks like a...
Harry?
Yeah.
That's a dog.
No, if you saw it, you'd know what I mean.
Like the point?
Yes.
I'll show you a picture.
That dog human name database is paywalled, by the way, so we can't do it.
What?
Take my credit card.
I need to know this information.
This is what my dog's feet look like.
Ew.
What the hell?
Oh, yeah.
They are Grinch feet.
Grinch feet.
Holy crap.
Oh, wow.
I love those.
Those are great.
They're like slippers.
I've never seen that.
Yeah.
And I want a dog so bad.
I like that.
I like those Grinch feet.
Yeah, I want a wiener dog real bad.
Really?
Oh, yeah. I like that. I like that. Yeah, I want a wiener dog real bad. Really? Oh, yeah.
I love basketball.
Yeah, that's Anthony Rizzo's dog is a wiener dog named Kevin.
Fucking great name.
Good point to me.
Because you don't think the guy names can just be.
No, I just think girl names are easier for dogs.
Again, everything with an I-E is a girl's dog name.
Or A.
Anything that ends in an A.
Isn't Frank the name of the dog in Men in Black?
It is.
He's a pug.
Yeah.
Frank's a good dog name.
Hot dog.
It's alien, though.
Ralph's a good dog name.
Ralph's a great dog name.
But Rolf is not a good dog name.
Well, unless he's a German Shepherd.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, actually,
well, true.
Was Blondie on the table?
No.
Okay.
There are Rolf and Muppet babies?
Wasn't there a... Wasn't there a...
There is.
Not Crenshaw.
Was a guy who was in a wheelchair.
He was like a state senator or something.
Addison Cawthorn or whatever.
And you have a dog named Blondie and he's like, oh, I didn't realize.
Maybe I made that up.
He is like, he went on a vacation to like Nazi places.
Oh, yeah.
Big time. Is that Hitler's dog name? Yeah, to Nazi places. Oh, yeah. Big time.
Is that Hitler's dog name?
Yeah, Blondie.
I didn't even put two and two together.
Ron, you're sitting like that again.
It's been my shit.
I wonder why it's so comfortable for me.
You going to let your dog sleep in the bed?
Question.
I mean, last night it did.
It's over. It's over. Yeah, that's it's over it's over but it didn't want to it like it like popped out and it's even worse though you're gonna get used
to it yeah well we just didn't have a crate yet because we got approved and went up right away so
we have the we ordered the crate trying to get it i'm trying to make the crate it's home i don't
want to use the crate as a punishment i'm'm trying to use the crate as an oasis.
It's going to go from
bed to crate though.
Huh?
It's going to go
from bed to crate.
What about couch?
That's better than crate.
Couch okay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fuck.
I mean I
Who gives a fuck?
The whole point
of having a dog
is to hang out with it.
Right.
I'm trying to
bull with this motherfucker.
I get like if you have
a big dog maybe
you don't want it
on the couch but like
It's a little bitch.
I want a fucking
that'll sit right between my legs and I'm watching basketball and with this motherfucker. I get like if you have a big dog, maybe you don't want it on the couch. It's a little bitch. I want a fucking...
It all sits right between my legs when I'm watching basketball and football every single night.
Yeah, bro.
This dog fucking fell asleep on my fucking ankle facing the door with its back to me.
Showing that it fucking respected and protected me.
Yeah.
What, bro?
I took this dog on a fucking walk through the fucking projects today.
It met another dog named Spike, which was his first friend, and I started to tear up, dude.
I was starting to get emotional.
Dude, imagine seeing a white dude with a pink dog leash walking through the projects with like an eight-pound dog fucking crying.
I'm a bitch.
I'm a known bitch.
Just like my dog.
Francis got a second dog
He did, yes
Really?
Greedy
Very recently
He's got his place upstate now
Yeah
And his dog
He was just going to Montauk last weekend
Casually
Casual
Driving out to Montauk in his Tesla
That guy's living in 2020
He's got a Tesla?
Oh yeah
Big time
He loves that thing more than his dogs.
Sleeps in there, watches movies in there.
You guys seen the beer that's been brewed in the window?
I did, yes.
I tweeted it.
What?
It looks like a milkshake.
It is.
Where is it?
It's by Mook, where K-Marco sits.
Shit.
Zai, you gonna drink it tomorrow?
Nah, it's for you guys.
One of you guys are drinking it tomorrow.
Oh, God.
Oh, do we need to pick what the cupcakes are gonna say tomorrow?
What the power-ups are gonna be?
We can figure that out tomorrow during the show.
They'll be able to replace two beers with two Zah beers.
Oh, no.
Oh, God.
That's not beer. No. That's not beer.
That's not beer.
No.
It's not beer yet.
All right, so that should just be one cupcake.
We should just have one death cupcake.
Yeah.
Nothing else says anything except for that one.
Yeah, I like that.
That is quite the gamble.
Yeah, that's a huge gamble.
It should be a couple minus, I think, minus a beer.
Yeah, okay, yeah.
Some positives, yeah.
And it will be, so what do we need?
16 times three? I think minus a beer. Yeah, okay, yeah. Some positives, yeah. And it will be, so what do we need? 16 times three?
I think maybe five.
Five cupcakes have things in them.
Yeah, four of them are good.
Two of them will be like, you don't have to eat this cupcake.
Oh, I love that.
Two of them will be minus a beer.
Yeah.
And then one singular cupcake will be replaced two beers with Zah beer.
I want one where you have to sit on the cupcake instead of eat it.
I like that too.
Your asshole open.
Your asshole gaping.
Are you ready for 16 cupcakes, KB?
No, I'm going to eat cupcakes too.
So I think
I would assume you guys, my teammates, will do at least
three?
Whatever you want.
Three is easy. Three will be light work.
Yeah.
Snack on them.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
Are you going to do any side NA beers to replace our beer?
Like, if you had four NA beers throughout the course casually.
No.
Not even going to do that.
We got you.
We got it, Kate.
We got this.
12 beers.
So we got a point.
Yeah, this is fine.
So, TJ, we'll get a big table and we'll just, I'll buy, I can't, why can't I do the math
right now?
Cupcakes are over already.
Oh, really?
Yep.
How many did we get?
Too many.
72.
Well, in case you wanted to eat, so there's half of them will be vanilla cake and half
will be chocolate cake.
That way there's no fights over there not being enough of one type if you wanted to
But we should have the exact amount of cupcakes on the table.
I only want vanilla. type if you wanted to. But we should have the exact amount of cupcakes on the table. That way we guarantee that the Zabir gets picked.
Right.
So everyone should pick the cupcakes they want to eat beforehand.
Like what flavor.
What they think.
You know what I mean?
Our 16 cupcakes, I want mine to be vanilla.
I think there should be a table right here and and you've got to go grab your cupcake.
You've got to grab it.
As you go.
So then there might be more chocolates than vanillas.
You might have to eat more chocolates than vanillas.
I'm fine with that.
I'm with you.
I want to eat more vanilla.
I like vanilla.
Vanilla is my answer.
It's when you get to it.
Does anybody like chocolate?
I like chocolate.
I like chocolate, but I can see it being easier with beer to have vanilla.
Yeah.
But I'll do what I got to do.
Vanillas will go first.
Yeah.
I feel nervous for this.
I don't think that part is going to matter at all.
It's not like when you're on your seventh cupcake, you're going to be like, I wish this was vanilla.
Yeah, you're not thinking.
You're not tasting flavor.
Yeah.
You're going to be like, I can't eat this is what I'm going to be thinking.
Very excited.
And TJ's got themes coming for our birthdays.
Yeah, I showed Brandon part of Big Cat's theme,
and he just wasn't impressed at all.
I was pissed off about it.
What did you show me?
Earlier today before the Pick Central.
My theme is wrestling.
Oh, yeah.
No, no, no.
I didn't know that's what you were showing me.
You didn't say that was part of
big cat's theme i liked it i liked it a lot what's yours kb i thought we had to pick ones that you
could like buy at a birthday store that's what tj did okay i did black panther because there's only
like four options it's like that's like they do like it's like superman Minions, and Black Panther. What did you do, TJ?
I wanted to make it easy.
Fortnite.
Love it.
So Fortnite, wrestling, Black Panther theme.
That's our theme for what?
The birthday.
We're doing it for the birthday.
Kyle, is your face paint going to have to match your theme?
That's what I was worried about.
Do we have a face painter?
Wait a minute.
Yeah, we have a face painter.
So what are we getting face painted as our squad?
Yeah, we got to talk to Che.
Because Black Panther, even the masks are black. Face painter. So what are we getting face painted as our squad? Yeah, we got to talk to Che.
Because Black Panther, even the masks are black.
So even if we get the Black Panther masks and intentionally don't. I would wear a mask, an actual mask.
There's little really cheap masks.
I think you all need to paint Black Panther faces on yourself.
I don't think so.
I feel like that's bad.
No, you could do it if it's like.
No, you could do it if half's like half the face is showing.
Like the same style as Batman.
People do Batman all the time.
Trade themes with us then.
I guess Black Panther is different than Batman.
Every team doesn't have a theme because
our team doesn't have a birthday guy.
Football.
Our team does not.
He gets wrestling, I got football?
It's not your birthday, Brandon.
Pick up those papers. Pick up those papers.
Yeah, pick up those papers, bitch.
We're in a league of papers.
It's a birthday case race.
That's what we're doing it for.
The next one will be you and Sass's birthday.
No, because last year we did it in April, and it was only Sass's birthday,
and my birthday was right behind me.
I'll never mention my birthday.
So next year will be – or so April will be you and Sass.
My birthday is also in April.
Wow.
It'll be the three of you.
Perfect.
And I like wrestling to be my theme and no one else's.
Okay, nice.
Are we all April?
Yeah, April 5th, April 13th, April 25th.
Man, that's very impressive that you know that.
Love it.
All clumps, big clumps.
Yeah, see?
No, I don't think I can do that.
I don't like the silver lines in it.
Well, here we go. Yeah, that's a little fun.'t think I can do that. I don't like the silver lines in it. Well, there we go.
There's nothing wrong with that.
You just got to make sure
the ears are pronounced.
You can do that. There's nothing wrong with that.
So what are we going to get face-painted
as? Baseballs?
Our face-paint doesn't have to match the
theme, does it? Oh, no. Okay.
But it has to be a united face paint kind of?
I think the three of us should have the same face paint.
I don't know.
We don't have to, but I think that'd be dope.
Yeah, I think that'd be cool.
I might do my own face paint.
What?
Like, I might not be with my team.
I might just do my own face paint.
No.
What are we going to do?
I don't know.
Aisha's?
My team's not here.
My team's only 65% today.
I don't even know if Shay's going to show up tomorrow.
Who's the artist?
Same one.
Okay.
She couldn't Gautier me last time.
Now, I tried to do Patrick the first time from SpongeBob,
and she was like, I can't do Patrick?
It's pretty easy.
Just pink.
Having a beard is the worst for being face painted.
Yeah.
Half the canvas.
I don't want to do the Joker at all.
So I'm not.
Good boy.
You should do the Timberwolf.
I'm not going to do that.
From your hat.
I know.
Why not?
Because I'm not a Timberwolves fan.
You should wear the hat every day.
I have two hats.
This is one of them.
I might do a Pokeball.
My whole face.
Yeah?
A Pokeball? I might do Gold pokeball my whole face yeah a pokeball
I might do gold dust
okay cool
pokeball
gold dust
cool
just raw fish
on my face
really cool
is that a wrestler
yeah
okay
I think we should all do
Black Panther
should we do
Blue Man Group
we could do
Blue Man Group
oh
we could do
Blue Man Group
that would be hilarious
hiring someone to come in
to just paint us all blue.
Yeah.
That's not even face paint.
He's not being a character.
I feel like it would be cool to make the eyeball the Pokeball.
We got to figure out something reunited.
I think we got to do something together.
What are you thinking, KB?
Three Stooges?
I'm trying to think, yeah.
I feel like Shane's football helmet was the funniest last time.
TJ, can you just pull up famous trios?
Let's see what we can do.
Yakko, Wacko, and Dot.
Snap, Crackle, and Pop.
Manny, Moe, and Jack.
Peanut Butter and Kelly.
Just an ampersand face.
What do you think the best food trio is in the world?
Of three things?
Three things.
Maybe like...
I know.
Come on.
Is it enchiladas with mole eggs?
It's chocolate peanut butter.
Oh, Spongebob.
BLT.
Oh, the chipmunks.
We could be the chipmunks.
Should we be Spongebob?
Brussels sprouts.
Should we be Spongebob?
Three Spongebobs?
No, there's Patrick Star and whatever the other guy is.
Woodward. Might be eggs, cheese, and whatever the other guy is. Woodward.
Might be eggs, cheese, and hash browns.
You saying best or like best?
It's chocolate, peanut butter, pretzel.
That's the best three-way combo.
What about chocolate, peanut butter, ice cream?
Yeah, dude, I think he just beat you.
No.
How did I not beat you?
You'd rather have pretzel than ice cream?
Chocolate and pretzel and peanut butter?
Chocolate and peanut butter and ice cream.
No. It has to be chocolate.
No. How would you
if I put those in front of you, you'd take the pretzels
over the ice cream? I think the chocolate and the
pretzel are the best. I think that's the best duo
in food.
That's crazy. Well, you could just
tell that you're a skinny
bitch. I don't like straight chocolate. I don't
like straight pretzels. But when you put them together, it's like a 9.7.
But that's a healthy guy snack.
That's a healthy guy snack.
Yes, it is.
Chocolate pretzels?
They are, dude.
It's a healthy guy snack.
No, it isn't.
You get it from Whole Foods.
It's one of the fattest snacks.
No, it's not.
Chocolate pretzels?
Anyone who's getting chocolate pretzels, that's like their treat for the month.
Yeah, right.
They're like, oh.
It's a healthy guy snack.
I had a cheat day yesterday. I had a handful of chocolate pretzels. Chocolate pretzels are that's like their treat for the month. Yeah, right. They're like, oh. I had a cheat day yesterday. I had a handful
of chocolate pretzels. Chocolate pretzels are the best
tasting dessert. I think
they're good, but I don't think that they're like...
That's not a dessert.
That's like your mom throws it in a
baggie and puts it in your lunch. Right. If you think
that's a dessert, you're a health nut.
No. Yes. You love your
physique, which is good. You love your body. You respect
yourself. Ice cream is a dessert.
Chocolate pretzels?
That's not a dessert.
What?
Not even close.
Not a dessert?
No.
I would argue that chocolate strawberries are more of a dessert.
Is a Reese's Cup a dessert?
Yes.
A chocolate pretzel.
That's a snack, not a dessert.
Right.
That's a dessert snack.
What about baklava, ice cream, and honey?
No.
I fuck with that heavily.
It's a meal.
Baklava?
Delicious.
It's okay.
You don't like baklava?
I said it's okay.
You don't love baklava?
We got to go to Mahmood's and get some baklava.
What was that goddamn thing you brought me that time?
Lube Jamun? Yeah. Lube Jamun? Yeah.lava. What was that goddamn thing you brought me that time? Baloo Jamoon?
Yeah.
Baloo Jamoon?
Yeah.
Honey cake.
Is that what that was?
Fuck, that was good.
That wet bread that you brought us.
Honey donut.
I'll never forgive her for that.
Wet bread?
It was so wet.
It was the wettest.
Can we get baloobas tomorrow for the case race?
We're already having a cupcake.
Well, just as a side fucking dish.
I think we're going to get part of my cheesesteak delivered after the race. Oh, that's a robot
coming? Maybe.
Oh, no.
What if? We're going to have to tip the robot
$1,000. I crested it.
It was a tradition. Oh, yeah.
We have to order something to tip.
I think we might have to put
that one to rest. Why?
It was all awkward last time.
People, I had a hard time watching it.
I blame the guy who got thousands of dollars
and wasn't appreciative.
He didn't know what was going on.
Huh?
He didn't know what was going on.
I knew what was going on.
He didn't speak English.
He walked into an office at like 11 p.m.
Around cameras and was throwing cash.
And fully grown men dressed up in costumes.
That's on him, dude.
Have some joy in your life
and fucking enjoy the moment one time.
He really didn't want it.
Didn't he try and give it back?
That's what I mean, bro.
Just like the first guy was awesome.
It caught up in the moment.
It was also happening
while Che was trying to fight Shane, I believe.
I think, yeah.
That's why it was bad.
I think the last case race,
just things moved too fast.
We tried to relive too many good memories
from the first one.
So we need to take our time this time.
We got to take our time.
That's the point of the cupcakes.
Yeah.
Slow us down.
Speed bumps.
I think that Shane Gillis ordering Chinese food together could be a good icebreaker.
Oh, yeah.
Shane Gillis.
We'll finally find out his order.
Shane Gillis.
Shane Che.
Hey, Shane.
Should we spin this wheel?
Are you doing the pro football show with me today?
Yes.
Hey, nice.
3.30, right?
DJ said I have to do it the rest of the year.
That's not true.
You're good at it.
It's today.
I want to do it the rest of the year.
I did.
You're good on the show.
You have stupid takes.
Like Dak Prescott's next up.
You don't know ball at all.
That's not what I said.
Pass does, though.
Pass does ball.
I was on that.
I make the best airplanes, bro.
You make good airplanes.
My one talent.
Spin that wheel, TJ.
Pitch this, bro.
Have a little fun.
Right where you want it to go.
I hope you rip that sandbag.
I want Belupas.
I want Belupas.
I want them.
I'm craving them.
I can't find them anywhere.
You're sounding like Veruca Salt right now, dude.
Want, I want, I want. I'm sorry. Bad egg. I just know find them anywhere. You're sounding like Veruca Salt right now, dude. Want, I want, I want.
I'm sorry.
Bad egg.
I just know what I want.
I can't believe you were about to say cheese, eggs, and hash browns.
Why not meat with that combination?
Bacon's got to be in there. Yeah, bacon instead of cheese.
I think cheese, eggs, and hash browns are better than any other three breakfast foods you can put together.
What?
Bacon, eggs, and hash browns.
It's perfect.
Cheese, eggs, hash browns.
Put the cheese in the eggs?
What would you substitute the bacon for?
Cheese.
Need the cheese.
How about pancake sausage syrup?
So there's that.
Pancake, no.
Yes.
Syrup's not a food.
Pigs in a blanket is so good.
Like a sausage rolled up in a pancake?
Yeah, pigs in a blanket.
That's a thing.
You get the sausage and you get pancakes to the side of sausage
and you just fucking
douse the whole thing
in syrup.
Again,
syrup's not a food,
syrup's not.
It's supposed to make
one food.
If peanut butter,
I like to take the peanut butter.
Oh,
a chocolate peanut,
a peanut butter
covered pretzel.
That sounds gross.
The chocolate peanut butter
pretzel's number one,
we know that.
What's next up?
I think that it's honey,
ice cream,
and baklava.
Bacon, egg, and cheese. Bacon, egg, and cheese.
Bacon, egg, and cheese.
Pretty good.
You need a sandwich with that.
Yeah, exactly.
It's not that.
I think, yeah.
Bacon, egg.
But if you could only do three things.
It's bacon and hash browns.
Yeah.
Eggs, cheese.
Cheese got to go.
You need cheese.
You got to get cheese out.
No, you need the bacon.
How about, what about steak, butter, and potatoes?
Oh.
I said, yeah, I did.
I wouldn't count butter.
The original one was steak, Brussels sprouts, and potatoes.
Then those are two separate things.
Oh.
What about hamburger, french fry, ketchup?
The potatoes are separate from the potato.
You guys keep trying to throw condiments in there.
All right, so I hit the nail on the head with dessert and breakfast.
You guys want to try with lunch and dinner?
You did it, bro.
Buckle ofava and fucking...
We come to the conclusion that syrup's not a...
Why?
Why is it not a food?
Because it's not a food.
It goes on food.
What about peanut butter?
Peanut butter goes on food.
It never eats syrup by itself.
Peanut butter can be its own food.
You ever take a shot of syrup?
No.
No.
Yeah.
You don't take a shot of syrup.
So honey doesn't count either then.
So I can add something else to the baklava and the ice cream.
Maybe we should have a syrup case race.
I think you'd die.
Yeah.
I don't think that's a deal breaker.
Super Troopers didn't die.
Throwing up from that.
It'd be slow as hell.
It'd be like a slow throw up.
I want to puke tomorrow.
I was puking all of a sudden a prerequisite?
Big bubble.
Or our tummies are going to be so full.
You know, if you puke, you keep drinking.
Well, you can't keep drinking.
You keep eating.
Cupcakes.
You keep eating, though.
It's the pacing that's going to be key.
Don't worry about the...
I'm going to try to get 16 cupcakes.
Okay. And if anything,
you want to eat the cupcakes after... We want to drink the beer. We're going to
drink them then. We're going to mix and match? I thought we
were going to go all beers first. I think we'd be fine
slowly eating a cupcake as we go.
It's not even really about
the actual race as much as it's about
having the least amount of comments about you
after the race. Right, that's true. That's what your goal
should be. So Martin Luther King said.
Your goal should be to come out
with just maybe five comments.
Like, hey, was Sass even there?
Is he on the race today?
That's how you know that you were on the race.
That's how you know you did well.
A lot of pressure on you, Sass.
And the good thing is,
you're not saying this out loud to the chat right now,
so they're not going to troll you by commenting on you.
I let them know.
I know my plan.
And if they want to comment about me, fine.
They're probably right.
I just say nothing and all the comments are like,
Sass didn't even participate.
He's too good for this show.
And I would say, maybe you're right.
You've changed, man.
Yeah.
I don't have Shane's number.
I had to DM him like a hobo.
And he hasn't given back to me about our face paint.
So I don't know what we're going to face paint.
So you DMed him one minute ago? Oh like 10 minutes
ago.
You made it
seem like you DM'd him like a week ago.
I feel like you have
a day to answer a DM you have
an hour to answer a text.
Do you think he's looking forward
to it or do you think he's like oh god I forgot
I told these guys I'm going to do this thing
Well now Che is asking me for his number
Oh no
I'm going to wait for him to ask someone else
Everybody message him right now
What should we get our faces painted as, KB?
You're our team captain
Thinking outside the box, real quick
What about using our mouths
as, hold on Wait for it i don't
know if you could see this but like your eye is the monkey's eye and you're hold on and then your
mouth is like the butthole of the that's pretty cool oh that's good like we gotta think outside
the box a little gross a gross. Red bulbous ass.
It's the clubhouse.
We don't have a better idea right now.
I've always wanted a realistic scar.
Oh, I like that.
Like Scarface or Scar from the Lion King?
Just something light on the cheek.
It's the coolest thing in the world.
Leprosy.
Yeah, we could do that.
Let's all take a disease.
One scar?
Not like seal.
Like a cool one.
You want like a hit by an axe.
Or like a shark bite.
Oh yeah.
No, but you need it in the right place.
If it's in the wrong place, you're fucked.
Truth.
A lot of truth there.
You need a hot scar.
Didn't Big Evan somebody do that once?
I swear, I have this memory when I first started Barstool.
I think it was him and Mantis, yeah.
Yeah, and Mantis did full ICP.
And didn't they go?
They went to a New York Juggalo-style show,
and nobody else was in Facebook.
Oh, that's right.
Really?
Big Ev doesn't get enough credit for getting a job
because someone trolled him and told me
at a job interview.
Yeah.
Did he show up to the office or something?
Yeah.
He showed up to the office.
He was like, I'm here for my interview.
And Dave was like, what are you talking about?
Remember when that dude made the fake account with my name and texted Frank that he was
on the show?
Yeah.
We also had the dude who made a fake account and DM Lenny Dykstra and he showed up with
a gun to the office.
What? That was my first
time in the office.
It's like Dave told me to come here and then we
looked at his, we're like, show us.
This shit's a little too much for me.
The guy who's DMing with had seven followers.
Yeah, that's fucking crazy.
Some people just don't have the, you know.
Yeah.
That. Yeah, they you know. Yeah. That.
Yeah, they'll, you know.
All there.
Thing.
That thing, that thing.
That thing.
Somebody made a Yak Monopoly board.
What?
Oh.
Someone just fart.
It was a fart, I heard.
No, somebody just farted.
Was that you, PB?
No. Yeah, it was. Somebody just farted. Wait was a fart, I heard. No, somebody just farted. Is that you, PB? No.
Yeah, it was.
Somebody just farted.
Wait, we need to rewind.
That was a huge fart.
That was a big fart.
We need to look at the cameras.
It sounded like a worried fart.
You guys all heard a fart?
That was an enormous fart.
It was.
It sounded like, oh.
It was like, bow.
Okay, let's see.
I didn't hear it.
Really?
I don't know if you heard it.
Can you scrape your hand along this?
Yeah, let's see.
Do we have everybody's camera angle?
Somebody made a yak Monopoly board.
What?
Oh.
Someone just fart.
Before I said no.
Can't hear it.
You can't barely hear it.
Made a yak Monopoly board.
What?
Yeah, you can hear it.
It's like a trombone.
See my face turn.
Somebody made a yak Monopoly board.
What?
Oh, it's really quiet.
It's like a low trumpet sound.
But in reality, though, it sounded louder.
Yeah.
Because it was off mic.
By your asshole.
That's what happens when the show turns into a fart show.
You come with one in the chamber.
You've got to let it off.
Hard to hold it in.
I'm excited about having a dog, bro.
I'm blaming.
Oh, dude.
Dogs fart and they smell so bad.
Nothing smells worse than a dog fart.
Oh, bro.
You're going to want to give Penny back.
Wait.
When are we stinky clouding?
We still have to do that.
I probably do that when we do the 12-hour yak.
Yeah.
Which we're doing for the 500th show.
We are doing it for the 500th show.
Whenever that lands.
What show is it now?
Not that far away.
40 left?
Yeah.
And this is of YouTube shows.
So 500 YouTube shows, not even total yaks.
Connor, I think, was maybe trying to archive total yaks.
Coming up on 1,000 on total yaks, right?
When the library of Alexandria burned down, we lost a lot of those.
It's got to be way more than that if we've done 500 YouTube.
Yeah.
It is more.
I don't know.
It happened for years before we put it on YouTube.
I don't know.
What's the Yak Monopoly board?
Want to play?
It's going to take us six hours.
Yak-opoly.
Okay.
Oh, Big Cat's Pond.
Oh, this is clever.
This is good.
Spec number seven, Av.
All right.
New Jersey Transit.
This is Rat Infested Apartment.
Oriental Avenue for Che.
Speed Demon, Mississippi Avenue.
All right.
What do we got up here?
Oh, nice.
Wow.
Portland was a person avenue.
Three Hachimora Place, Bad Milk Avenue, New Jersey Transit. Oh, nice. Wow. Portland was a person avenue. Three Hachimora
Place, Bad Milk
Avenue, New Jersey
Transit.
Oh, man.
Dope Braces Avenue,
Lomo Saltado Place.
Did a case race with
Nick Juice Avenue.
High Noon, that's
brand aware.
Oh, Big Cat's
Pile.
Hogsford Cause
Avenue, I'm the
Joker Baby Boulevard,
Steve Clit Avenue,
the Baby Boy Boulevard,
Will Compton's
Little Dick Place. Baby's Wild, I Clitt Avenue, the Baby Boy Boulevard, Will Compton's Little Dick Place,
KB's Wild,
I'll Tip You Righteous,
King of the South Avenue.
This is great.
Freedom Avenue, Day to Day,
Big Cat's Pile, the Oregon Trail, New Jersey Train,
Chase Flooded House,
Hank Thursday Avenue, Yak Basketball,
Tommy Walker Day.
You should play this.
That's all.
Why did Tommy Walker Day allow you to take all of Brandon's money?
Is that what it said?
Yeah.
That's great.
That's really good.
Well done.
Is there a video, KB, of you saying, I'll tip you righteous?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Like an oil baron.
I got to hear.
I got to watch that.
Wasn't it?
It was at-
It was at the bar where Jenx took a knee for me.
I'll tip you right, Jinx.
It was at the hotel bar.
He was so tan.
He was leaning so far back in his chair.
That was so fucking funny.
Was it for a show or you just said?
Oh, he was just drinking.
He had to black out for that episode.
And he got to the bar and was just drinking Moscow Mules, right?
Yeah, no, I was already like a bottle deep of Pink Whitney, which is just... Which is so good.
We had the complimentary one in the room.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then I had to ask Owen if I could use his.
If I could borrow his.
God damn.
What did Owen say?
Yeah, I drank that all too.
I think I blacked out for every show.
And you were hilarious.
But what did you say about the woman that worked at the tanning bed?
You were like, I think I love her.
And I was like, was she hot?
And you were like, no, but she's obtainable.
I gotta get
back on that shit.
How can you get there without
drinking? You know what I mean?
What do you mean? There should be a way to get blacked out
without all the... There's nothing that compares to
alcohol.
Nothing.
Not even chocolate pretzels?
It is number one. Did we ditch the Not even chocolate pretzels? It is number one.
Did we ditch the cupcakes?
Nothing.
Just go traditional case.
Chocolate pretzels?
The best.
It's the best.
Carly water and rice.
The best three combinations.
I want to be here now all of a sudden.
Yeah, that sounds good.
Yeah, right?
I almost relapsed on a martini liche really i was like i can eat
this and then i didn't that was a liche lychee lychee lychee yeah liche i hate that flavor
yeah i think it's bad too what flavor the liche that's i never ordered one because i never knew
how to say it i don't order shit I don't know how to say.
I just avoid it.
Acai bowls or whatever.
You just pick up the menu and just point to it.
You see all of that.
Yeah.
Then they know.
Then they know you're dumb.
I'll try and mumble it and they'll be like, what?
And I'll shout the thing I don't know how to say.
Acai bowl?
Acai?
Acai?
We all got to be more like Brandon and just order.
Order what?
You definitely order things you don't know how to say.
How would you have gotten Lomo Saltado the first time?
I don't know how to say it.
That's a very easy word to say.
You need to get more of your wife to order it for you.
Yeah.
We need to find out what every culture's version of Lomo Saltado is because I want to try their comfort food, steak, french fry, rice dish.
Their heaviest thing.
Yeah, Lomo Saltotaro is heavy.
It's just...
Oh, I love it.
God, I fucking love that shit.
PJ, what headphones do you use for gaming, since you're talking shit on my headphones?
Astro A42Rs.
Astros?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Turtle Beaches were good in like 2011, 2012.
Oh!
I have the new ones, the Stealth 500s or whatever.
They're wireless.
You just got owned so hard.
What?
Wireless is always worse than wired.
Oh, man, you got owned.
No.
I was going to get Astros.
They were actually the same price.
Huh.
And I said, you know what?
I know Astros are good, but I just wanted to go with my reliable.
Also, Turtle Beaches come with a sticker.
Who doesn't want a free sticker?
I love stickers.
Good point.
True.
Should have said that.
You should have led with that.
Also, not really a free sticker.
You are paying for the whole thing.
Probably baked into the price.
It's a free sticker.
It says free sticker on the box.
They wouldn't lie.
They would.
Turtle Beach.
It's a very honest brand.
Why was he talking shit about your Turtle Beaches
in the comments
on Son of a Boy Dad
no way
no way
I love getting
the comments
should we get
the Grant Cardone comments
people should definitely
subscribe
let's check in one second
I gotta go in a minute
but let's check in
how's it going
followers believe it or not cause they they see you're onto something.
If you say something cool in addition to it, super cool.
I do a Twitter space almost every night.
It's a live audio space every night.
And you guys can come in those rooms with me, start collaborating with me,
and I'll start getting you more followers.
I'll start bringing you into the rooms and introducing you to people.
What?
It's called collaboration marketing.
I'm going to be doing it with Russell today.
Okay, I'm going to go on Twitter.
Let me post it up there real quick.
Wait, is he going live right now?
Giving away $10,000 today.
Period.
10X.
Hashtag 10X giveaway.
It's hilarious that people do this dead seriously when it's like our joke.
One more thing.
GrantCardone.com forward slash 2023.
He has a Twitter space going right now.
I'm joining it.
Okay, now I got a link.
Now I'm going to hit send.
When you guys see it, all you got to do is hit retweet.
You got to hit retweet or you could hit...
He doesn't even know how to use Twitter.
Quote tweet. Quote the tweet, which means you could add something special.'t even know how to use Twitter. Quote tweet.
Quote the tweet, which means you could add something special.
See if we can get on.
We've got to get on there.
So if you've got to figure out how to add something special right here,
it's already up, it's already out.
400 million people have the potential to see that dumb tweet right there.
Oh.
I put a hashtag.
I didn't do the hashtag right.
I think I can still edit it, can't I?
Oh, boy. Oh, God. Let hashtag right. I think I can still edit it, can't I? Oh, boy.
Oh, God.
Let me see.
See, see, see.
See, the speed, speed.
This is what I'm trying to tell you right now.
Yeah, I can edit it.
The speed, Damon.
Okay.
The speed is more important than the correctness.
You see the comment saying, definitely have to sign up for Twitter ASAP.
You guys do what I'm telling you to do right now.
I'm telling you, not only will you build a bigger business,
you will also break the back of
procrastination and perfection.
This disease
you have to please
everyone, the speed at which
you can do something. I'm going to re-quote it.
I'm going to re-tweet it. I'm not going to overthink
it. You could even misspell it.
Try that. Misspell something in the
quote. I can't spell.
I'm a redneck.
Oh.
It doesn't matter what you're doing.
What you're doing is building on something.
Man, he went after you.
Now, if you didn't post it right now, I'm telling you guys, I'm a power terminal on the Internet.
You've got to find power terminals on the Internet and support them.
A power terminal.
You want to flow power to other power terminals.
When I see people do that for me, with me,
I want to flow the power back to them.
This goes back to what?
Who knows you?
Do you guys want to start at the bottom?
Or do you want to start at the top?
Yeah, obviously top. I don't know.
Who knows you? Who's talking to you?
Who's working with you? Who's talking to you? Who's working with you?
Who's buying from you?
Who's supporting you?
Who's edifying you?
Who's giving you receipts?
He still has yet to say anything of substance.
And then number five.
That was fun.
Oh, Grant Cardone.
Man, I love this shit.
Power Terminal.
I like that.
I want to get a Power Terminal painted on my face tomorrow. That'd be nice. Not a I love this shit. Power terminal. I like that. I want to get a power terminal painted on my face tomorrow.
That'd be nice.
Not a bad idea.
Hmm.
So what are we going to...
So we're getting scars?
Realistic scars?
As a team?
Mm-hmm.
Wounds?
I'd be so pissed if she can't do that.
I mean, considering she's like a children's party makeup artist,
I believe she could.
Realistic?
Yeah.
No.
Movie quality?
I want movie quality scars.
I want to walk in
and I want people to be horrified.
When I used to play hockey
in like second grade,
for Halloween,
our coach put like fake blood all
over all of our faces and like our necks and stuff and they like they like stopped the game
like the ref did to like make sure we were all okay yeah i mean that would make sense yeah that
yeah that'll do it yes ref it was funny i didn't even get it damn it's a prank. It's a prank, bro. It's a prank.
You all right?
Yeah, all right.
All right.
All righty.
Should we see everyone tomorrow?
Yeah.
Sure.
The tungsten people reached out, so we could have them call in at some point. Yeah, that's right.
We could talk some tungsten.
So they called Austin Jenkins yesterday, and he put the tungsten people on speakerphone,
and we were trying to have some banter with them and the guy on the phone said uh just a heads up tungsten people don't really
have a sense of humor love it love it all right we'll call them tomorrow so we'll see everyone
tomorrow we'll do a one hour show and then case race on friday oh my god like the video thank
you everyone for watching.
10X, 10X if you're with me.
Power Terminals. Power Terminals. Outro Music