The Yak - Steven Took Off to Mourn the Bucs | The Yak 1-19-23
Episode Date: January 19, 2023Go BirdsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, hold that up.
Whoa, hello.
Those are too long.
You want to see too long?
New sweatpants.
Look at these strings.
Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
Uh-huh.
All right.
What the hell is that all about? Dude, what?
That's crazy.
Make one really long.
See if you can touch the ground.
Thank you.
You got to wear it like that.
You got to wear it like that.
A little tail.
Someone jump rope it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's get a limbo going.
Do you give consent?
I don't think any of us can jump that high.
Holy shit.
You gotta put out longer.
You just got cocked.
Your shoals got cocked.
Fuck.
That was very sass.
Sass isn't here today.
That was a very sass move by you.
Except sasses would not have been very long.
You got a long thing?
Look at this.
You're cutting your shoals?
I guess you're supposed to.
Yes, you do.
You cut them.
They're pretty cuttable.
They're pretty easy to cut.
Also, if you have a back issue, you shouldn't be wearing boots.
These Dr. Scholls are for bad back.
Oh, but no, but the boots.
Rochelle Ryan is here.
Oh, yeah, Rochelle wants to talk about, yeah, come on in.
Come on in.
Come on in.
Hey, Rochelle.
Hello.
Rochelle is here.
She wants to talk shit to us, Roan.
Oh, my God, Rochelle, thank you so much. Rochelle Ryan.. She wants to talk shit to us, Roan. Go to the microphone.
Oh, my God.
Rochelle, thank you so much.
Rochelle Ryan-Money.
Go sit in that microphone.
Joe, you want to, or Pat, you can sit here, too.
We got an extra spot.
Did you just do the interview with Out and About?
I did.
Okay.
How'd it go?
Amazing.
Okay.
So good.
I wasn't as nervous this time.
Good, good.
Rochelle told me that she wanted to talk shit about the Eagles. What?
No. I told her, hey. Eagles fans.
Oh gosh, all of you. Yeah, I am this year. Any Giants fans?
Not in here. Not in here.
You're not going to come in here with a fake Dior bag
and talk shit about the Eagles.
Oh!
Fucking smack out my bag.
Oh, fuck.
What do you say about the Eagles? I mean, I'm a Giants fan, so I have to talk smack.
I already know everything.
We haven't won there in like 10 years, but I actually do think that we have a chance
at this game.
I think there's more pressure on the Eagles.
There's certainly more pressure.
A lot more pressure.
Oh, Brandon's a Giants fan.
Yeah, all of a sudden he falls.
All of a sudden.
They're the number one seed, but when we played them three times in seven weeks,
we didn't have all of our starters.
Now we do.
Sounds like an excuse.
Jalen Hurts, he's going to—
He's going to be fine.
He's going to be fine.
He is fine.
He is fine.
I'm sacking his out.
Yeah, he's going to be fine.
Okay.
Which makes me nervous.
You have money on the line.
I know.
I don't actually care.
I care about the Eagles very much this year.
But you're a Bears fan.
So I need that.
I know, but I need it.
So how many-
You bust my boys' balls so much, Rodgers.
Oh.
You have to, I know.
He's your boy?
I mean, not like that, but I love Aaron Rodgers.
Oh, that's terrible.
You're a Rodgers fan.
You have terrible taste in men.
I always bet on the Packers.
Obviously, not in the playoffs, but I always put money on Aaron Rodgers.
Oh, gross.
Always.
That's a bad.
Listen, that's bad.
That's real bad.
Here comes young Kyle.
Oh, Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle, take my seat.
Oh, no.
All right.
So, wait.
Tell us.
What did you talk about out and about?
Let's promo it.
Well, we had a Valentine's Day show.
So, we had a dating game.
We had three guys from the office come in, and she chose the winner based on the questions that she asked them.
Oh.
And one of the winners may or may not be a regular here on the Yak.
Oh.
And what do they win?
A date?
Should we do that?
Yeah.
I think probably a date is what it is.
Two days starting from today.
Yeah.
A date.
Love and affection. You know, a friendship.
Approval.
Yes.
Approval.
A calendar.
A calendar.
Do we have a calendar we can give her?
Can we trade?
Because we also made a calendar.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, yeah.
It's also very sexy.
Yeah.
This might not be as sexy.
It is.
That's very hot.
I would say it's probably more sexy.
I like the name of it, Maneater.
Maneater.
Yeah, this is Maneater.
Show me what's your birthday month, Kate.
My birthday month?
Yeah.
Oh, June.
I can't believe this room is January.
Eagles fans.
Oh, yeah.
There's only two.
Two Eagles fans.
But Giants fans just have no conviction.
There's June.
None of them can stand up for themselves.
None of them really believe in themselves.
It's kind of sad, the state of Giants fans that we have around here.
I mean, we haven't been in the playoffs in like six years.
Can you blame us?
I'm going to try and get Kyle in here because he looks uncomfortable.
You should have been in the playoffs.
You should have just made the playoffs.
Your team should have been better.
It does look uncomfortable out there.
I wish.
Where's Frank?
I have to bust his balls.
I thought he was going to be in here.
Oh, yeah.
Go bust his balls.
Go get him.
Well, I should go get him.
All right.
Well, Rochelle, everyone listen out and about.
Yes. Rochelle Ryan, listen out and about. Yes.
Rochelle Ryan.
You can get her calendar.
Get her calendar.
You can follow her on all of her socials.
Yes.
Have you ever used Dr. Scholl's inserts for your shoes?
Sometimes.
Really?
You have them in your boots?
Yeah, I'm just putting them in for the first time.
How are they working out?
They were too big.
Oh, that's what you were cutting.
Yeah, I was cutting down my Dr. Scholl's.
Did you find like they help for your lower back? No. Oh, that's too bad. cutting. Yeah, I was cutting down my Dr. Scholl's. Did you find, like, they helped for your lower back?
Um, no.
Oh, that's too bad.
I already have a bad back issue.
Roan got his back blown out, so he's...
Oh, my God.
Yeah, too many sacks, you know what I mean?
All right, well, Rochelle, thank you for stopping by.
Yeah, thank you for having me.
Last time Rochelle passed us.
Oh, yeah.
I figured you had to actually have her on this time.
Brandon went and sniffed The window after Oh my god
Yeah he took a picture
And then he just saved it
He doesn't know that
Porn exists online
Oh it's all over
But yeah thank you Rochelle
Everyone listen to Rochelle
On Out and About
And go Giants
And go give
No no no
Go give Frank hell
Because I want to see that video
I should tell you
So I DM'd him
Because we were in the same
Fantasy league
For the Stoolies Club
And during
our matchup, I was like, hey,
let's do something funny. Like, if you lose,
you got to hold up like a funny sign saying I lost to
Rochelle Ryan. Would not answer my
DMs on Twitter or Instagram.
So, hey! Go get his ass.
Go get his ass. I love it.
I love it.
See you, Rochelle. Thank you so much.
That was a dirty trick by her to try and get in to play psychological games with Frank
Fleming.
Yeah.
That shit don't work.
That shit don't fly.
Can I point something out?
You guys are all in a lovely match of green.
Oh, yeah.
Like, all of you have a nice little touch.
What am I?
What am I?
Kale oatmeal?
Kale?
What do I got?
Avocado oatmeal maybe?
Blueberry spinach?
Blueberry spinach.
Blueberry spinach.
Frank and Rochelle should go on a date.
Yeah.
Not interested.
No, he's just ignoring the DMs.
He's in the league for fantasy football.
Imagine how many guys
would love to get a DMm from rochelle ryan
and frank's like no no thank you i will not i will not succumb to this psychological warfare
in our fantasy league no it is interesting how porn stars pivot to fantasy football yeah
well i'd assume there's a lot of overlap yeah there's overf Well, you know that if you're a porn star, every fantasy league loves you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a natural retirement home.
The porn fans and fantasy fans are the same people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That calendar, Brandon, I know you want it, so you should take it.
Where do you think that calendar is most prominently displayed?
Where am I going to take it?
Bathrooms. Bathrooms? Construction sites? I am I going to take it? Bathrooms.
Bathrooms, construction sites?
I would say mechanics garages.
Mechanics garages, construction sites.
I feel like that's a big time when they have the temporary.
No, not construction sites.
They don't buy new things.
Wherever that is.
Yeah, it's all old.
It's all old 90s tits.
Yeah.
Wherever that is, it has a smell in there.
Military barracks, little training areas.
Yeah, it's the bedroom of Norwegian incels.
I'll say it.
I've seen my butt, and hers is way better.
She's got...
That's a butt.
Come on, Keith.
Firm.
There's a firmness to it.
I'll believe in your butt.
Come on.
Chat's popping off.
Oh, chat's going to Wooga.
They're like, why didn't we play Fort Eliminator today?
Thanks for the thumbnail, Rochelle.
See the pants she was wearing?
A fart would have sounded like someone changing directions on hardwood.
I don't think a fart could escape that.
I think you'd physically see it, like the bubble go down.
It would look like the bug from the mummy.
Is it real?
What?
But I think
you work out and get that back.
No, it's not, bro. There's no way.
That's okay.
Still can't get over your sound yesterday.
Yeah. I watched
it back. It was crazy.
It is a thing, it's a syndrome
I'm not trying to be in that community
you are, I guess
but there's a surgery, a doctor in Chicago
does it, said it saved a lot of people
okay
we're headed that way
save them from what?
doesn't seem like something you need to be saved from
he said now they can burp
I think it's just specifically saved him
from not having a YouTube show derail
when you try to release a burp from your mouth.
I think that was a great direction for the YouTube show, though.
It's really the only bad thing that could happen from that,
and it was a great thing.
Why are your shoelaces so goddamn long?
God damn it.
Two long green strings, too, on the show today.
Why are they so goddamn long?
Green.
It must be eagles.
Eagles.
It's the eagles.
Possum Scott.
It's always the eagles.
Possum Scott.
Interesting.
By the way, I have an apology in order and also an idea.
So I forgot that I may have told Nick Mangold he was in on the next case race.
That's my bad.
Oh, that's true.
I love Nick.
He is a tremendous dude.
So I thought in my head, I was like, we're kind of full on this one.
I think whoever's next birthday is, I don't know who's up after.
We should do a case race.
Sass, right?
Sass.
We'll have to figure out how to do the mics, maybe if we have enough time.
We should do a case race where everyone gets to team up with an NFL player, former or current.
Yes.
How fun would that be?
That would be awesome.
Will, Taylor, and Gold.
I want Jason Kelsey.
Yeah, like whoever we can get in here and just Willie might come back.
I want Woodhead.
Ooh.
I want Prime.
Prime, first time drinking.
Oh. Get want Prime. First time drinking. Oh.
Get sloppy drunk.
Like during the draft, like a draft.
NFL draft, but like a draft beer or something.
Maybe it's even teams of three where it's one NFL player and then two of us.
Maybe one NFL player, one invalid, and one of us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like it. So, yeah. I us. Yeah. Yeah. I like it.
So, yeah.
I apologize to you, Nick.
I love you.
I will make good on this.
My guarantee.
Nick Mangold made me buy him a Red Bull in L.A.
I was getting one.
He said, can you snag me one?
Still owes me $15.
There it is.
All right.
So, until you pay Brandon, you're not allowed to be on a case race.
I forgot that we have that rule on the act.
Wait, what did you do?
Why did you owe you $15?
Oh, just, you know, some activities.
Did you buy weed?
No.
No, he owes me $15.
You sold mangled weed?
I did not sell mangled weed.
You got Nick mangled?
He owes me $15.
Bought him Kratom?
Didn't buy him Kratom.
Didn't buy him anything.
What were the activities.
The activities makes it sound crazy.
We were watching something.
We were betting $5 a piece on the thing we were watching,
and he's 15 in the hole, and he never paid me.
What were you watching?
Yeah, what were you watching?
Rough and Rowdy.
Oh.
In Miami in the flood.
Oh, yeah, Shooter McGavin.
Tremendous picture.
Man, that was sick.
What's up, everyone?
How we feeling?ven's still sick also actually call him and just check in i'm a little worried yep i gotta get out of here
soon i have a flight at seven where you going west palm beach what's down there uh pink whitney
commercial oh yeah whitney's going down there too yeah yeah i was texting him last night
you'll be back for the tomorrow's yak though right uh no they're actually filming tomorrow
8 to 1 a.m 8 p.m to 1 a.m then my flight's 7 a.m on saturday oh they made sure to fuck you're gonna
leave you're gonna leave the commercial shoot and just go straight to the airport oh i mean
yeah so the commercial shoot i'm'm assuming it will probably run late.
You know how that goes.
Yeah.
Probably 1.30.
And then I'll probably just go right to the airport.
So are you freaking out right now?
Yeah.
And then I'm just like, I wore comfy clothes.
I got a new pair of sweatpants.
Strings are fucking me.
Where is your flight out of?
LaGuardia.
TSA is going to stop you for those.
I know.
You could strangle 10 people.
Are they loose enough where you can just take the string out?
Yeah, but then the pants are too big.
What time is your flight?
Seven.
Why?
Maybe we should spin a wheel and see when you can leave.
Oh, no.
Leave right now?
Will be an option.
Two o'clock, three o'clock, 4 o'clock, 5 o'clock.
I have an Uber scheduled for 3.15 already.
You can cancel that.
I know.
I thought you would just let that go.
You could get right now.
I'm freaking out right now.
Yeah.
What happens if you miss the flight?
I get in big trouble probably.
Oh, yeah.
Blattman sent that email.
Yeah.
Pink Wendy probably falls apart as a brand.
Pink Wendy.
Pink Wendy.
Pink Wendy.
Yeah.
I saw her last night.
You want to ask Kyle?
You want to ask her about her ass?
No, I would never ask her.
You want to ask her?
To her?
No.
I think I have an idea now.
What's your idea?
Yeah.
It's real.
You think it's real?
Oh, that's Stephen Shea.
Stephen.
What's up?
How we doing?
Good.
Are you okay?
Yeah, sometimes you just need time to reflect and kind of move past things.
So, yeah, I'm working on myself.
Wait.
You're not sick?
No, my body was pretty sick the past like two days.
I'm not like officially sick, but yeah, I had a, I'll say that it was a good thing I was home yesterday.
Well, what are you doing to work on yourself?
Getting right, Brandon.
Wait, what does that mean?
My body's not sick.
So you're just, wait, are you coming in tomorrow?
Yeah, I'll be in tomorrow.
So you're literally like, this loss took so much out of you,
you were just like, I can't do it.
I told you that, yes.
You were in the very next day.
Now you're working on yourself.
I shouldn't have been in that day, but I knew I had to go in and eat shit,
and I'd look like a monster pussy if I didn't show up.
So I went in, and I did pick Central.
I did the yak.
I left immediately after that.
Flipped a ton that day.
And, yeah, yesterday.
This is like someone lost a football game.
I would have said I had the flu.
You're acting like someone lost a football game. I would have said I had the flu. You're acting like someone died.
And basically they did.
He does have the flu, though.
You do have the flu.
You said your body is sick.
Like, that's what the flu is.
No, I think his body just rejects losing.
He can't lie.
He could have easily just said I'm sick.
Yeah, he's not sick.
He said he feels fine today.
Today I feel better, but I also wanted to be close to home for...
Yesterday was a little rough.
Close to home.
Diarrhea, right?
Yeah, I had the poops.
Yeah.
Okay, well, I just wanted to check in, make sure you're okay.
Sounds like you're not.
No, he's not.
Is there anything we can do?'ll be okay no it's just like i don't know i mean you just don't get over things
that quick this has been a long grind of a season and it ended abruptly and not the fashion that i
wanted and it was extremely disappointing and uh you don't play on the team. I guarantee I think players are probably fine, too.
Yeah, we this is I see this is just a football team.
There we go. This is it's crazy because we just never seen you.
You're an unflappable winner. All you do in life is win.
So to see the other side, this is the first time I can truly say you've been beaten.
Yeah, I mean, yeah.
I mean, it wasn't just like Monday.
It was just like this whole season.
Like, it's been grinding on me the whole – for months.
And, yeah, it just kind of came to a head this weekend or on Monday.
It's outrageous.
I mean, everyone reacts differently, and this was my body just...
Steven, you were just watching your football team play every week.
Not well.
Fair, I guess.
I think the point is it's O.J. to not be O.J. sometimes.
Wow.
It's beautiful.
God damn it, Kate.
But, Steven, I'm just worried that this is affecting the data
because that Miles Turner bet last night was bad.
It was awful.
It was awful.
It was piss poor.
Yeah, one of the worst bets I think I've ever done in any type of sport ever.
It was, yeah, he's four inches taller than everybody on the court,
and he gets one successful post-entry all game.
He gets four shots.
It was horrendous.
And I actually don't even blame him.
I blame the Pacers coaching staff.
But, yeah, that game was horrible.
But my bet is actually coming out really soon.
It's for the 3 o'clock game.
My notifications are on, but I'm a little bit apprehensive.
Yeah, no, I hear you.
But, I mean, 16-30,30 we're gonna take some lumps but uh
yeah we move on and today's a new day
god damn it
dude I fucking hate to see you
like this cause it kind of throws off
how I see myself you know
what I mean I kind of calibrate
myself against you and
now I don't know what to think of myself
this is just
I think tomorrow go ahead
tomorrow I'll be back and I'll be in good spirits today was just like I had a lot of shit to do
today and honestly just like I didn't have enough time to do it and uh I've just kind of been
grinding there's a game on at three um and I need to get a lot of stuff in order for that uh NFL
lines are out so I got to get out of those and doing my shots at three um so a lot of stuff in order for that. NFL lines are out, so I've got to get ahead of those.
I'm doing my shots at three.
So a lot of stuff.
The Bucs fired their offensive coordinator today.
That's why I wanted to get out.
So, you know, I have to have prep sheets.
There's a lot of things that I wanted to get done today.
And I'm just trying to be efficient while also being fair to myself.
And I should be hopefully back in a lot better spirits
and with my normal vigor tomorrow.
Okay, so last question, Steven.
You just mentioned Byron Lefferts got fired.
Is there a 0% chance that you don't get an interview?
Yeah, 0%.
What?
You are down.
That's how I know he's down.
He's so down.
I don't think that's true.
There's got to be at least a 0.000001% chance.
I think if I were to get an interview,
I would be mad at the front office for hiring someone that's not qualified.
So you would, if you got the interview, you would, you would like, if they called you
up and like, Hey, we have the opening for offensive coordinator.
We've seen some of your play draw drawn up.
We've seen your Oh five Madden season.
You would then turn around and be like, what are the bucks doing?
Yeah.
Steven, let's turn this around, bro.
I don't like this at all
you got a whole other month to
grind tape for the draft you have
a whole other month to prepare and learn more
about the game of football your
analysis won't be clouded by
your fandom
and the teams that you like this is going to be
a good thing for you the Bucks will recalibrate
you're going to recalibrate you're going to be good bro
yep yeah
I'm excited now that leftwich has been let go.
I'm excited to see who the next hire is because that's going to tell us a lot
about who the next quarterback is going to be.
And did you see Greg Roman got fired?
So I think Lamar in Baltimore.
I don't know.
Maybe Lamar comes to Tampa Bay.
I don't think we really have cap room for him,
but it's just interesting to see changes around the league.
Yeah.
All right, well, Steven,
everyone please like the YouTube video right now for Steven.
One like for Steven.
If we don't get 1,000 likes on today's show,
Steven will die.
He'll die.
He'll die.
Jesus Christ, people might just drop his zero likes.
Oh, fuck.
If we get 1,000 likes, I will kill Steven.
There it is.
If we get 100 likes in the next 10 minutes,
I'll put up my trusted data pick right now.
Oh, okay.
All right, there we go.
100 likes in the next minute,
and we get the trusted data pick right now?
We're up 20 already.
We're up 20.
Wow, they want the data.
Because they fuck you on the trusted data, dude. As soon as Steven puts it out. We're up 20 already. We're up 20. Wow, they want the data. Because they fuck you on the trusted data, dude.
As soon as Steven puts it out.
We're up 100.
All right, release it right now, Steve.
Wait, really?
Say it.
Yeah, all you have to do is tell people to like the video, and they just do it.
I know, it's dope.
It's the easiest thing to like it.
We just, we fuck up not reminding people.
We're up 200.
Jeez.
Thank you, everyone.
I want the data.
We're up 300.
All right.
Killian Hayes, over 13 and a half points. We're going to put it out online in about five minutes. All right. Killian Hayes, over 13.5 points.
We're going to put it out online in about five minutes.
All right, great.
So everyone who's listening to the Yak gets it first.
Because they'll take it off the sports book because they'll see the –
He's a sharp.
Yeah, he's a sharp.
They'll suspend it for a little bit.
So this is lucky.
Great job.
All right, thank you, Steven.
I'll see you this weekend.
Erno, I'll see you tomorrow.
Yep, love you guys.
Bye.
Love you too.
I'm kind of down now yeah he's um he's a bad place yeah the canary just died in the coal mine
him being like i just you know long season how does he know he's going to be happy enough to
come to work tomorrow yeah he sounds like a player like oh yeah all the bumps and i've
been playing with you know guarantee you Cam Brate's fine right now.
Oh, yeah.
He's like the postgame, you know, like the week when they clean out their lockers.
Like, I've been playing with an MCL sprain since week 12.
Yeah, this is a relief.
I'm out of my misery.
I bet Steven has cleaned out his locker.
Yeah.
I bet he has a locker.
I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't go to the doctor yesterday just being like, I need a postseason checkup.
Yeah, just to see everything's good.
Yeah, see what happened.
Some bruises you get
along the way.
So is he off TB12 now?
Oh, look at that.
1.2.
Yeah, I mean,
that's the other part
is he's been torturing himself
with a diet
for an absolute
embarrassing loss
in wild card weekend.
Yeah, like...
And all that.
Yeah.
And that's probably
what's making him
shit himself,
going back to normal food.
Yeah, that's true.
He probably had one piece of bread and just like his body rejected it.
That's exactly what happened.
Was that your wallet?
Or did you just throw your phone?
I just did.
Oh, because you look at it too much?
You get another DM?
My time is to order lunch right now.
I was ordering my lunch.
I called me a slur and said, get off my phone.
Again?
How'd you find it?
It's gone now.
It's gone.
I liked your Ole Miss video today.
Yeah, because I keep on getting recruits.
I got a DM from Lane Kiffin.
What was the video?
Can I see it?
It was just a video of me saying that-
Just watch Mince's.
Ole Miss.
This motherfucker.
All right, let's see Mince's.
No, no, no, no.
Watch Brandon's.
No, no, watch mine.
We don't need to watch it.
They're boring.
But I put out a video saying Ole Miss got a quarterback in the transfer portal, and I
think it's funny because they took him from Hugh Freeze at Auburn.
Fuck Hugh Freeze.
Something like that.
Then what did Mince say?
He sent out the exact same thing.
The same video verbatim.
How much longer after?
30 minutes.
Well, he's got to get his quota up.
Remakes are in in Hollywood.
Yeah, that would be funny if
he just remakes everything.
It's trending.
It's a trend.
He's just following the trend.
Everyone's doing it.
Did you order your food before you threw your phone?
Yes.
Where is he?
He's duck hunting.
Sidney Wells.
He looks like a little duck.
That doesn't look big enough to be a duck.
Oh, he's not doing it for Stool Outdoors?
No.
No.
No, he's not.
Well, good for him.
He's doing it to eat, brother.
Yeah. It's Thursday. he's not. Well, good for him. He's doing it to eat, brother. Yeah.
It's Thursday.
It's been a long week.
We had Monday off.
I went duck hunting, took some still photos.
I hope he puts that on his report.
It definitely is.
Shot down three ducks.
Took two still photos.
The guide for my duck hunting had never heard of Barstool.
I told him.
Plus one.
He needs to do that.
Like your follower count.
It's like how many new Barstool fans did he convert in the South this week?
He's like a missionary.
He's witnessing to sportsbook people.
He's evangelical.
Sends us the meat from his hunts.
We can eat. Went to get a cough. That was a tiny duck. That was small. He didn evangelical. Sends us the meat from his hunts. We can eat.
Went to get a cough.
That was a tiny duck.
That was small.
He didn't even shoot it.
What?
Are you just holding up
somebody else's shot, duck?
Oh, you can't do that.
You can't do that.
You can't touch
somebody else's duck.
You can't do that.
I want to go to that
bass fishing tournament
that Sidney and them
are putting on
this summer, I guess.
Are they?
Did you guys see that?
I didn't know that.
I'd also like to do that.
Bring the tungsten. Yeah, in my dream world, we have like a fun drinks boat that see that? I didn't know that. I'd also like to do that. Bring the tungsten.
Yeah, in my dream world,
we have like a fun drinks boat
that goes around.
I don't know if the boats
that you go around them
when they're fishing,
but like a cart girl,
but on a boat.
Yeah, a cart girl.
So when we move to Chicago,
I'm going to need places
to bass fish.
So if you do want to hop
in my DMs,
you can tell me those things
because that's actually helpful.
Okay.
You're going to get a boat?
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Bass is the best fish. Well because that's actually helpful. Okay. You going to get a boat? Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Bass is the best fish.
Oh, hell yeah.
It really is.
Knowing a guy with a boat is better than having one, too.
And look at us.
Yeah, boats suck.
I know.
I'm talking to you, bitch.
Boats suck to have.
Yeah.
Pontoon?
No, no, no, no.
A little fishing boat.
Yeah, a little fiberglass fishing boat.
How many feet?
I don't know how long they are.
18 maybe?
18's tiny, bro.
They're small.
They're meant to be small.
Go bigger.
Why do you want me to go bigger?
Get the 50 foot.
Because it would be selfish.
I'm not fishing for swordfish.
I'm fishing for fish that is long.
Yes, but we're going to be on the boat.
We're going to be using the boat.
What if you got a yacht?
What do you all want me to get?
A pontoon?
Yes.
I want you to get a yacht.
Pontoon with a roof deck, sliding board.
We do a yacht from the pontoon boat?
Yeah, a yacht-sized pontoon.
Can we look up used yachts right now?
Because they're less expensive than you'd think.
Right.
Or look up the biggest pontoon boat we can buy.
Because new is prohibited.
How do you know used yachts are less expensive than you think?
You've been looking? Of course.
The yacht world.
For years.
I don't want a yacht.
All right, what's that on top?
Oh, he likes the yacht.
That one's under a mill.
That's not a yacht.
That is not a yacht.
That's a 2023 yacht.
That is not a yacht.
Yeah.
These are not yachts.
These are powerboats.
That's a yacht.
That's yachty.
That's a little yachty.
That's certainly a yacht.
Oh, no.
Yacht has to have multiple bedrooms.
This is just a sick powerboat.
Are you thinking about mega yachts?
Yeah, maybe.
That's a yacht.
That's a yacht.
When I was looking up, it was just mega yachts I was looking for.
Are you putting this on the Great Lake?
What?
I'm sure it's...
I don't know.
Well, then it's got to be big.
No, I don't want...
I want to be able to have a little boat to go to little places and fish for my largemouth bass.
That's what I want to do.
I don't want to be entertaining y'all.
I don't want to be carrying people around on an inner tube.
I bet you're such a grump at the boat ramp.
I said steer it this way.
Go this, I bet you're just.
Well, boat ramps are not great places.
If you ever want to just see rednecks fight, go to a boat ramp.
Yep.
That's where you go.
Yeah, let's see.
Can you search a boat ramp fight?
Oh, there's going to be.
Yeah.
Oh, I feel like 90% of divorces of people with boats is when they dock the boat.
That's when their brain is snapped and they're like, we're done.
Yeah.
Somebody steals your spot or somebody jumps in front of you or somebody scrant bumps your boat a woman from idaho was on the boat with her husband fucking drugged him with a lethal dose of
benadryl and pushed him in that happens more than you think yeah mook's school nurse just
killed somebody right that is insane this abington pa case yeah killer two parents
don't you want, Brandon?
Chit-chat.
Well, this isn't really a fight.
I'm going to hear this side of the story now.
And then we go to Alfred Montaner Chit-chat court,
and then I'll make the decision based on what I see.
They have their own voting court?
You're winning, though, because you're getting towed in.
How's he?
Pulling a rope.
What's happening here?
That was boring. Why are there mics
Why do they have mics
Yeah how are they
Picking these guys up
Yeah this is staged
Is this guy just
Picking fights
With everyone
I think these people
Are getting towed in
So they did something wrong
This isn't
He's laughing
They're speaking Spanish
And they're getting it
Yeah they're getting towed in
They're understanding the Spanish
This is the worst one possible
Yeah
Oh boy
Como estan caballero They're getting towed in. They're understanding the Spanish. This is the worst one possible. Yeah. Oh, boy.
Como tan caballero?
Over at Boater Rages?
Oh, there's not... Never mind.
Yeah.
I don't have enough cameras.
I want to see a good old-fashioned...
If something awesome is being filmed,
I'm immediately skeptical.
Oh.
Those are just jet skis.
Yeah.
What is he videoing out of?
Is he wearing a helmet?
That skinny idiot about to get...
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Here we go.
Hey, now.
Oh, this guy was born to jet ski.
Yeah, backwards.
That's it.
Oh, he's going to be ready.
Yes.
Hell yes.
He can't run backwards fast enough.
Oh, jeez.
A very aggressive
air is the camera.
He's backing up like a Pakistani slap fighter.
Yeah.
Who is... I need to see the guy
with the camera.
He's what?
Ex-coast guard. That's a sick brag.
No.
You got scared of the camera all of a sudden?
I live right here.
I ride seven days a week.
Well, this guy's riding his jet ski seven days a week?
That's living.
Exercise.
I want to see someone get knocked out, please.
At a boat ramp.
They might just have to get off the boat ramp.
I don't think people throw hands at boat ramps.
No, they have to.
I was asking for the Modern Live leak,
and the Yak fans did not disappoint.
What do we got?
I've been watching some fucked up shit.
Oh, here we go.
Here we go.
Yes, yes, yes.
This is a good boat ramp fight.
Oh!
Oh, my God.
I mean, that guy's got an arm.
Oh!
No, no, no, no, no.
Oh, he punched a guy while he was carrying a guy? Yeah. Cut it out. I mean, that guy's got an arm. Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh, he punched a guy while he was carrying a guy?
Yeah.
Cut it out.
That guy's a tank.
Telling you boat ramps bring out the worst.
Oh, no.
I got to jump off the boat back there.
Oh!
Oh, this guy rules.
Like Valali.
Oh, my God, what a pure run.
If you're this guy, you should just always cut line at the boat ramp
because you know you can just fight your way out of it.
Yeah.
He's got, like, two bodies on the ground.
You knock out a woman by accident?
Oh.
Oh, that would be...
Dude, I think it's probably so fun to be that size of dude
getting in a fight with a bunch of people.
Oh, yeah.
I saw it outside of a gas station, a video outside of a gas station recently
where just a massive guy just whipped
like seven people's asses.
It must be a true joy to see that fear in people's eyes.
It really does feel good, bro.
It really does.
Brandon, you never did that.
It must be awesome.
You beat up one kid after a dispute in your class.
It feels awesome.
And he was a tenth of your size.
You were on your Gull your size. He was.
You were on your Gulliver shit.
He was 5'2". Just having like hands that you know are just, like if you connect, you're just going to
knock the person out.
Yeah.
You're just being so country strong, built so double wide.
Who's that skinny white dude on YouTube that claims to be undefeated?
He just knocks people out without consent.
It's like Charlie Zillin.
Yeah.
Oh.
This guy is the is the worst.
But the best in the gyms and is like, you know, you want to spar and then he knocks them out.
He's like, I'm undefeated at boxing.
Yeah, but they don't agree to fight him at all.
And he just knocks them out.
What the fuck?
Shot King.
He falls.
You're not arrested.
I see this.
Yeah.
Floyd's dad embarrassed.
I've gone back to this guy
Several times
I wanna see him
I knew you would love him
This dude is incredible
Because Deontay Wilder
Whips his ass so bad
He's like
It's just
He bullies and bullies
And bullies
And then he runs into
Like the ultimate knockout
This is the guy
Yes
He says that he's undefeated
But he just is like
Yo do you wanna like
Spar
He's in a locker room
He's like you wanna spar
A little bit
And then he does this.
Then he'll throw a soccer punch.
And he's like, I'm the best boxer in the world.
Because he does this to like random people that are in the gym.
Like touches and then punches right away.
All right.
They didn't touch gloves.
That was a nice combo.
He notches his glasses on.
Hey, he's not even ready.
And this guy's whole MO.
He does this like.
Imagine being his cameraman. This guy quits. And then Charlie's like MO, he does this like... Imagine being his cameraman.
This guy quits, and then Charlie's like,
another win for me.
Like, it's a TKO.
No way.
There's better compilations.
Oh my god!
What an asshole.
Now can we watch him getting knocked out?
This guy sucks.
These are like boxing classes he walks into.
These are like...
What is this?
Just bare knuckle?
Bare hand?
What the fuck?
Oh, the guy was not expecting to get hit.
This one's okay.
Yeah, what?
He's just starting fights.
Right in the middle of the gym?
Going up to dudes, do you want to box?
Is it one?
Oh, I thought it was a girl.
And this is a real boxer. What would have to do is you want to box? Is it one? Oh I thought it was a girl.
And this is a real boxer.
30 seconds, 30 seconds.
Oh what a pussy! Oh They take it out of the ring
Somebody jump in justice. No this guy's been
Loser bully.
Wasn't there a show where you could get your bully beat up?
Oh, yeah.
A bully beat down?
Wait, what?
It was like a VH1.
I don't know, but sometimes the bully won.
I remember this.
That was the worst.
Mayhem Miller.
He was an MMA fighter that went crazy.
Did the bully sometimes win? Yes. There was one that
literally smoked the pro MMA fighter.
Oh, can we find it?
It's going to get copyright strikes.
VH1.
Oh, I got a lot of bass fishing spots to hit.
Here we go. Where did the phone
come back from, Brandon? What the hell?
Do an ad read. I went and got it.
You do the ad reads. You should get property up in Wisconsin.
Yeah.
Yeah, a lot of lakes.
I've been thinking about that.
Yes.
Honestly, you should.
I really should.
It's a ton of lakes.
It's a land of lakes.
It's a beautiful area, too.
Yeah.
I thought Minnesota was-
It has the longest coastline on water.
Minnesota has so many lakes.
That's the land of lakes.
Yeah, Wisconsin has a ton.
A land of 10,000 lakes.
And those people know how to lake.
I don't know if they counted.
Oh, yeah. Those lakes are Atlanta, 10,000 lakes. And those people know how to lake. I don't know if they counted. Oh, yeah.
Those lakes are so much fun in the summer.
There's really nothing better to do when you're at a lake than to have a high noon.
Oh, man.
You're just chilling at the lake or you're on your couch or wherever.
You just get you a high noon.
Find high noon at highnoonspirits.com.
Is that new?
Have we always said highnoonspirits.com?
Highnoonspirits.com.
You can also get it delivered on Drizzly.
Really find it anywhere in this country because it's everywhere.
High Noon is real vodka, real juice for real fans like us.
Head over to your local liquor store and get some today.
It's actually made with vodka, not with malt like these other hard seltzers.
Again, real vodka, real juice for everybody.
They got the wonderful flavors.
The Tailgate Pack, which came out this fall, has the new pear flavor, the new cranberry flavor.
The Variety Pack has your old standbys, like your grapefruit, your black cherry, your watermelon.
And then there's the peach, there's the lime, there's the guava, there's the kiwi.
They have incredible flavors like passion fruit.
High Noon has the best flavors.
It's the best drink.
TJ, did you?
I really can't go wrong.
You can't go wrong with the High Noon.
There's no bad high noon flavor.
They're all good.
I'm looking forward to summertime.
I do not like watermelon the fruit, but I love watermelon flavored high noon.
Big stuff coming from them this summer.
I've heard some rumors.
Big stuff coming.
Hey, Jerry.
Real vodka, real juice.
I'm done.
Jerry's here. What's up, Jerry? Jerry, come on in. You got to keep going. I'm done. Oh, okay.
Jerry's here.
What's up, Jerry?
Jerry, come on in.
Got a haircut.
Yeah, I did.
Hairy.
Good.
Yeah, baldy.
What do you think about that slap league, Jerry?
Love it.
What?
Yeah, he loves it.
I think it's pretty good.
We'll get the mic closer.
It's interesting, but it's also kind of hard to watch i i was
highly entertained i mean i watch uf like i want to see devastating knockouts right in ufc i get
it they're defending themselves and the slap league is defenseless defenseless that's kind
of fucked up it's it's i get it but like i didn't sign up for it I mean these guys are Yeah So I mean that's their problem
Essentially right
There's not like non-consensual slap
You know what I mean
Like they're
They
Yeah they signed up for it
Were there
Like okay
I was thinking about this last night
Boxing
Let's take Miguel Cotto
How many fights did he have
A lot
A lot of fights
I thought he was good enough
To beat Mayweather
I think
A guy who does that slap league, right,
and he gets cracked a few times, he's like, yeah, I'm done.
I'm done doing this.
Miguel Cotto took a beating for years and years and years.
But he also could defend himself.
Yeah, but he still took a beating.
He's got his hands up like this.
Which I think is worse over all these years.
These slap guys, they're not going to be doing this for five, ten, fifteen years.
Also, you're not getting direct headshots.
I mean, yeah, boxers take way more detractors.
Yeah, I mean, the beating that Miguel Cotto took throughout his whole career over a guy who was going to take a couple beatings.
Why is Miguel Cotto the boxer you use as an example?
He was a physical guy.
He was a brawler.
He got hit a lot.
Yeah, okay.
The other part is like, what's the skill, though?
Like, boxing's a skill.
I think the precision with this.
The hand, the palm.
I think it's all about-
I think also the defense being able to eat slaps is also like part of-
Oh!
The person that goes first, do they win like every time?
Oh, you got to keep going.
Watch.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, God. Oh.
Well, now she just doesn't get to
slap her. And you're telling me this doesn't fuck your brain
up a little bit? It looks like
that. The Shakespeare noodle.
It's a full concussion.
Yeah.
I was entertained.
Yeah, I
mean, it's entertaining.
It's more like it's hard to watch people who aren't defending themselves just get smoked.
I get that part of it.
I get why people.
When did boxing become really popular?
Obviously, Greco-Roman wrestling goes back to the times of ancient Greeks and shit like that.
But when did people just start standing up, squaring up, and punching each other?
That's one of the olden day sports I can think of.
Boxing?
Yeah.
Like what olden days though?
Like that and baseball.
We're talking about like 40s style boxing?
Yeah, boxing.
Picture it in black and white.
Jack Johnson was like what, 1915 or something like that?
Yeah, just killing people.
How long did it exist before then?
It existed in some form forever.
Forever, yeah, like barroom stuff.
I don't know if it was like boxing and a sport until, I guess, maybe it was earlier.
I don't know.
Yeah, I wonder why.
I'm trying to impress ladies.
Zach Dempsey, he was early.
Way back in the day.
Is that Gene Garofalo?
Am I bugging?
Jimmy Garofalo, you said?
Gene Garofalo.
That is not Gene Garofalo.
Are you sure? I'm almost certain that's Janine Garofalo. Are you sure?
I'm almost certain that's not Janine Garofalo.
Are you sure?
That's not Janine Garofalo.
What do you think?
Oh, you know who that is?
She's a comedian.
Yeah, it's not Janine Garofalo.
Not her.
I'll think of her name in a minute.
Comedienne.
Comedienne.
It's a lady comedian?
Yeah.
That is not Janine Garofalo.
Jen Kirkson? You think that's Jen Kirkson? I don Janine Garofalo Jen Kirkson?
You think that's Jen Kirkson?
I don't know
Jen Kirkson
Can we go ahead and pull up Jen Kirkson?
Oh yeah
Jen Kirkson for us
Yeah we're going to need to see Jen
If they're going to be in the lobby
They have to be able to handle
Oh don't pull it up yet
They have to be able to handle seeing themselves
Anyway
You see Rochelle Ryan?
Yeah
You a fan?
Ass real or fake?
Fake.
Hear that, KB?
She shows herself all over.
I don't believe it.
What about her Dior bag?
Real or fake?
Probably real, right?
Why are you looking around like it's in the room?
It's not in the room.
I don't know.
I thought maybe she was over here or something.
She brought it in earlier.
She's got a bunch of beach balls if you want to take one home.
No.
Jerry and KB, are you guys set for wrestling tournament?
KB is going.
You're going too.
I want you guys going together.
I'm trying to go through RBY.
I want you guys to go and do a video, the two of you.
I think that would be cool.
Yeah, I'm going to go regardless, but that would be awesome.
Yeah, that would be really cool.
We've got to get more Gary on the street, bro. Your man on the street
shit was hilarious.
Yeah, you know. New Jersey transit
delay. I just haven't found what I would
do with it. The thing? Like you haven't found the event
to go to? No.
Interesting. But even when the trains were delayed
at Penn Station, that video was great.
Just man on the street at the... Remember that?
But Jerry, if you got a job with the Steelers that you asked for on Twitter,
if you got a job being the third string,
the assistant to the offensive coordinator, are you going to leave?
I would debate it, yeah.
He said that if the Steelers would pay him 50K.
50K is what I would leave for.
You could survive in Pittsburgh with that.
I think so.
Like a king.
You could also probably get side gigs. Yeah, I'd do it there. You know what I mean? that. I think so. Yeah. Like a king. Well, you could also probably, you could get side gigs.
Yeah, I'd do it there.
You know what I mean?
Side Instagram deals and stuff.
Yeah, side Instagram deals, yeah.
Cologne deal.
You would, I mean, let's be honest, you would just steal from all the players' lockers.
Yeah.
That'd be easy, too.
You'd sell all their stuff.
No, I wouldn't.
Stealers would be, stealers would just play with no uniform.
They wouldn't have any uniforms.
Oh, man.. Wear the uniforms.
I wonder what the policy is for asking for autos on the team.
Can you just go up to guys on the team?
The players have to buy their jerseys.
The players on the football team have to.
So let's say I go to a game and Kenny Pickett, let's say, gives me a jersey.
Who knows if he will one day?
A game-used jersey.
Like hypothetically. Hypothetically. He gives you a jersey. Or TJ if he will one day, a game-used jersey. Like, hypothetically.
Hypothetically.
You can't do a jersey.
Or T.J. Watt.
He has to buy that.
He has to buy that jersey.
They have to buy their helmets, too, right?
Yes, correct.
Really?
That's why some dudes still have the end racism,
because that's like the COVID helmet.
They don't realize that racism already ended.
It's kind of cheapskate behavior from the teams, right?
I think so.
I mean, these teams make millions and millions and millions of dollars,
and they're making their players buy.
Yeah.
These game-use jerseys, I mean,
even for players who aren't, like, great,
they're very expensive.
Yeah.
Thousands and thousands of dollars.
What?
Oh, yeah.
Holy shit.
Oh, yeah.
Interesting.
And, Jerry, if you were working for the Steelers,
would you get a Super Bowl ring if and when? I think so. Of course. I think so. They would give me one. Even if you Steelers, would you get a Super Bowl ring if and when?
I think so.
Of course.
I think so.
They would give me one.
Even if you answer the phones, you get the Super Bowl ring.
Yeah, you just get a lesser version of the Super Bowl ring.
Or you have the option to buy into the –
I think you can like – it's the same way you might be able to buy the –
Yeah.
I remember when the Cubs won the World Series,
they did like – it was like five different levels of like diamonds and worth.
Okay.
And also Ricketts put it in the contract with everyone.
I don't really know if it's a trick.
No, you're right.
Contract.
PTSD trick.
Nick, we should go to Latrobe this year.
I would like that.
That'd be great.
Like that.
Yeah.
Ricketts put it in the contract that if anyone tries to sell it,
he can buy it back for $1.
Well, that doesn't seem right.
I mean, I guess when you think about it.
So if I want to sell it and make some money,
he gets to supersede that and just buy it for a dollar?
Right, but I guess when you actually break it down,
like championship rings in professional sports are just gifts from the owners.
Yeah.
It's obviously you've got to do it.
Otherwise, imagine a team.
The owner was like, yeah, we want a title, but we're not doing rings.
NFL teams usually buy $150,000, and they're about $40,000 each.
Yeah.
And that's a gift for the owner.
Look at your phone.
I saw it on Pawn Stars a couple days ago.
Who was selling the ring?
It was a Patriots Super Bowl ring for an unknown player, something Ryan,
a wide receiver.
Rochelle?
Rochelle.
Yeah.
And he got about 25K from Rick.
Wow.
It's always sad
when players have to sell their rings.
Well, this guy pawned the ring
and didn't come back to pick it up.
Oh, that's very sad.
It's very bad.
Yikes.
Money management.
Yep.
Gotta have it.
Yep.
Gotta be disciplined.
Poor Frank.
It's way easier said than done
You get that bonus
I'd go crazy
What's Delonte West up to?
He's not good
Not great
Not good
He's really bad
Cause he keeps on getting so much
Or like people really wanna help him
Yeah
And it's hard
Some people
He'd help in different ways
Yeah
Do you know how To Catch a Predator ended? Yes dude I just saw that Yeah. And it's hard. Some people need help in different ways.
Do you know how To Catch a Predator ended?
Yes, dude.
I just saw that. I saw that on TikTok.
Dude blew his brains out.
What?
Was it an attorney?
Yeah, it was like a high up, you know, local.
I think it was a lawyer.
He shot himself.
While they were following him.
Yeah, like on camera.
Shit.
We have video of it?
No.
They didn't air it.
And it was like a huge scandal because like the way that show works is the police basically doesn't
do their job as well as they could so that they can make a show out of it.
Oh.
So there was a huge legal battle after about delaying police operations for the sake of
TV.
I don't know.
I think he kind of made it more simple.
I think he kind of just did like, you know, take the onus off the legal system to pay for all that.
Let's just get to the fucking...
That one's cut and dry.
Yeah, exactly.
That one's finished.
He kind of incriminated himself there.
A little bit, yeah.
You wouldn't have done that if it wasn't him.
Yeah.
Wasn't me.
I didn't know that.
That's grim.
Yeah.
His sister sued for $105 million? Oh, my God. But didn't it turn out that guy that made... I think that's grim. Yeah. His sister sued for $105 million?
Oh, my God.
But didn't it turn out that guy that made...
I think that's fair.
That guy back in the 80s that did the public...
Dwyer.
Yeah.
It turned out he was innocent of whatever he was doing.
No way.
No way.
Was it not?
I thought he wasn't guilty of everything they had on him or something.
Something came out later that exonerated him a little bit.
Who?
Dwyer, the guy who blew his brains out on
camera. What? Yeah, that's like
all time. Did you watch that video?
No, I don't like to watch it. Your mentions are just going to be
filled with it. Yeah. Big Cat, you
impersonated it in the
music video. Yeah. You don't know that?
I've never heard of this guy. Literally, it was like, watch
this. It was like a famous media case
because like a lot of newspapers. On the news, he
did it? Yeah. He was like a news anchor? because a lot of newspapers- On the news he did it? Yeah.
He was like a news anchor?
He was in a press conference.
Politician, no?
Politician.
And he pulled it out of a manila envelope, but there were a lot of newspapers that on
their front page posted him with different levels of the picture because everybody had
their cameras out.
Please don't, please don't.
Fuck.
Jeez.
It was like because if he was found guilty, he was going to lose his money, right?
And he couldn't be found guilty if he was dead
so the money went to his family?
Is that it? I didn't even know that.
It was that noble.
Show the picture. Can you show the picture?
No.
Just look it up.
Oh my god.
It's the grimmest picture of all time.
Is this in an art museum?
Yeah, look at it.
Hey, everyone step back. I'm going to shoot myself.
Oh, my God.
And then he did it.
That look guy looks like a real character.
You know what I paid for that I think is pretty good to have and know?
It's like $5.99, the thing I paid for one time.
And it shows you, you'd be surprised, all the, you know.
Offenders?
Offenders near your area,
and there is a lot.
It is startling.
It is a lot.
That's fucked up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
Neighbors.
Oof.
It's more than you think.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
It's fucked up.
Go door to door and whip ass.
Those people are terrible.
I mean, the worst.
The worst of the worst.
The worst of the worst. The worst of the worst.
The worst of the worst.
Scorpion.
I had a funny story about that.
What?
My dad went to prison, right?
And he was in prison, and this guy comes into his cell.
Like, my dad had, it was a two-man cell.
This guy came in, and, you know, my dad was talking to him, you know,
and he's like, you know, discussing what you're in for.
He said, I don't want to talk about it.
No problem.
My dad asked the CO, you know, what the fuck's this guy's, what was he doing?
And the CO told him, oh, you're rooming with a chomo right now.
Beat him with a sock, a lock and a sock.
The dad did?
Next day, he says, you know, you got 24 hours to get out.
Next day, gone, done. Yeah, you got 24 hours to get out. Next day, gone.
Done.
Yeah, they don't play with that shit.
No.
You know?
Damn, a lock and a sock.
Beat him to a pulp.
Where'd he go?
Had to have gone to some higher security private section.
You know, in prison, if you feel threatened, they'll remove you.
You ever watch 60 Days In?
No.
That show's awesome.
I've never watched it.
It's awesome.
Walking through the toilet pipes.
It's incredible, the shit.
Like, the ingenuity in prison.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Sliding the lock right into the sock.
Oh, yeah.
Knives.
Knives, yeah.
On the toothbrush.
I think they do all the justice.
Like, they'll get the justice in prison.
That's the bad part of going to jail.
Having your freedom taken away, bad.
But making sure that the justice gets done, that shit gets done.
Oh, yeah.
You see there was a prison break in Missouri?
You never see those anymore.
Yeah.
Six people yesterday.
Holy shit.
They all get out?
Yeah.
They haven't found them yet?
I don't think so.
Holy shit.
You're damned.
I would get caught so quick.
So fast.
I don't think I could even get to the point of escape.
If it was buggy out, I'd be like, oh, never mind.
I don't want this.
Or if there was brambles, I'm not doing that.
No.
You're not going.
No.
Yeah, that's the thing.
You don't really have to worry.
Right, well.
They'll never take you alive.
If you get caught, can they give you the death penalty?
If I get caught running after I escape?
If you get caught trying to escape prison.
I don't think they'll give you the death penalty.
I don't think so. If your sentence gets extended.
Dude, I was watching this video of this dude
Charleston White yesterday, and he was
like, if I ever get locked up,
I know about five murders,
and I'm telling on everybody.
The guy was like, I got all my money from scamming.
He takes the lawsuits.
He pretends to get hurt on the job.
No, he pretends to be a victim of racism.
Yes.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's up to companies.
Jesus.
He keeps getting jobs.
If they can't find out,
oh, you were let go from your previous job, right?
I don't think so.
He just posts with stacks of cash.
Yeah.
20 grand from this job, 10 grand here.
There's so many people out there like that, too.
Yeah.
Back when I worked in real estate, when the market went to shit, I was managing a property
in Chicago, and there was a woman who went in who was one of the tenants.
And I later found out all she would do is move from apartment to apartment and just pay the
first month's rent and then just not pay and complain and it's really hard to kick someone
out so she just lived for like six months for free and then she'd just go do it again it's
almost impossible to get evicted in New York right there's this crazy story I was reading
that this woman did like you know they do the airbnbs where sometimes the person also
lives there too yeah so she rented out to this mom and little girl her back room for like a week or
something and then the woman just refused yeah to leave yeah and this woman tried everything
called the police called like city hall blah blah blah and they're like there's literally nothing
we can do as long as this woman keeps like getting food
like whatever
she
I forget
you have to read
the whole story
but for like
almost two years
she squatted
in this woman's home
for free
and became like
increasingly
like I'm telling you
you're like
that's impossible
blah blah
if you read the full story
it was
read it a while ago
someone was living
in my house
for two years
even without my permission
I'd probably wind up getting along with them a little bit.
Yeah, just a little, like, sharing a laugh.
They would say something.
That was kind of funny.
Maybe not that, but after it was all said and done,
I think I'd miss them.
Yeah.
It feels safer, you know?
What day do you start making small talk, like, normal?
Right.
I guess we're going to have to.
It's like, I'm not a monster.
We can still talk about the weather.
So couldn't you just sell the house and move?
I guess.
They could change the locks if they leave.
Or throw out their delivery every time it comes at least.
Don't let the delivery come through.
I think her thing was the little girl.
She was like, because I can't starve them out because it's a little girl.
Whatever.
It was like, the story's crazy.
Okay, so the woman who squatted had a little girl.
Yes, yep.
That does make it complicated.
Yeah.
Is that tax thing real?
Like, if someone's behind on their taxes,
you can look it up, and then if you pay it off,
you own the house.
Is that true?
I don't think so.
I think that's to put fear into people for paying taxes.
You can buy a lien, maybe.
Gotcha.
I always wondered if that was true or not.
That would be awesome.
Yeah.
A little bit of taxes and just have
bonus houses.
What is a lien?
It's like a debt on the property.
They put a lien on your house?
If someone came and did a bunch of electrical work
and you didn't pay them,
if they go to sell the house,
that person
gets paid first.
Wow.
Oh.
Yeah, I don't want to ask you about real estate stuff.
I don't know much.
I know very little.
Why are you sitting like that, Ron?
I forget you have a past.
I do.
Yeah.
I know very, very little.
It sucked.
You're just born into barstool.
It sucked so bad.
Working, yeah.
Property management is like the worst job worst job i would never want yeah you just get
all you do is get called with problems yeah it's like and i there was a time there when i was like
every time it snowed i'd be like fuck like someone's gonna complain or like you know
people get mad oh my god so mad yeah but, propose that as, like, almost like a get-rich-quick scheme.
Like, just buy a bunch of, like, houses and be a property manager.
I'm sorry.
That shit sounds terrible.
Do your own feet not bother anybody else right now?
A little bit.
It's a plie, brother.
You can't help your back.
It's a plie.
What's that helping your back?
You can't plie?
That fourth position?
I mean, this is crazy.
You're just sitting there like that.
That is very uncomfortable.
Uh-huh.
Oh.
It's only a plie if you're standing.
Karate moves.
It's not a plie if you're just sitting.
You can't do a sitting plie.
It's beautiful.
He's been doing pure bar.
I've been doing pure bar.
Have you ever worn ballet slippers?
Nick.
I do.
I absolutely did.
I know.
His sister
It is cool
2002 he was in ballet
Yeah I have
I've even gone up on point
Hurts the toesies
It hurts the toes
But it's cool
The way they work
Like you gain like
Six inches
Yeah
Don't feel
Look at Hank
Strolling in at two o'clock
He's a piece of shit dude
Corporate shill
He's just such a
Corporate piece of shit
Really is
Cowboys fan
Pussy
It's Cowboys fan, pussy.
It's Cowboys Eagles.
I want you to mentally destroy him.
I'm sending a goon to beat his ass.
What's the deal?
Does he have a Cowboys feature?
No.
He did it as a troll.
He just barely has one.
He just came in Johnny Come Lately as a suit,
recognizing a market inefficiency that we don't have any Cowboys fans.
So he's like, I'll be the Cowboys fan.
See, look here.
He's looking at me right now.
He knows what it is.
He knows who he is.
That was a bold Cowboys tattoo.
Oh, nice.
That guaranteed that they're going to lose.
That guaranteed it right there. Is a Cowboys tattoo the most
common sports team tattoo?
Oh, great question.
Probably.
Yankees up there?
I would say Yankees.
I would actually say...
Oh, yeah, the New York, the NYU, the Yankees, the NYU.
Eagles might be up there.
Really?
Yeah.
Attributable logo.
We've seen every Eagles tattoo.
Cowboys, Yankees.
Yeah.
That sucks.
Which one's like a...
Is the Houston Astros one, is that a gang thing?
I don't know.
But what about like football clubs?
Like do people have Man United tattoos and shit like that?
Probably.
Ref.
He does?
Yeah.
Look at that.
Oh my God, wow.
What an idiot.
Oh, wait.
Does she have a tattoo?
Yeah, and also, also, like no one also, if they do win the Super Bowl,
no one's going to be like, oh, you're the one who got it before.
You know what I mean?
There's no time stamp on that.
Right, you can't be like, oh, yeah, you know, I actually got this before.
It's like, okay, I don't believe you.
You're like, all right.
Oh, my God, there is no benefit to that.
Except for to jinx your team.
What do you think the most?
Was that a full fill-in... Oh, that Patriots one.
The full Philly with every logo.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's the full Chicago, too.
Yeah.
I've seen somebody with the pen buckler, the Pittsburgh one.
How do you...
Okay.
Oh, that Yankees one is badass.
I kind of like it.
Yeah, I do, too.
It's like the Yankees Yakuza.
Yeah.
That is fucking cool.
What is that?
That's just a soccer pitch right there?
Oh, yeah, that's weird.
Oh, my God.
Let's do it.
The big-ass Nike check.
Man, just going hard for it.
Nike check might be the dumbest tattoo you could ever get.
Yeah.
I tattooed – one tattoo I've given to someone was a Nike check
because I thought it was like the only thing I could do.
That's good, Minnesota. That's hard to draw. You ever try because I thought it was the only thing I could do. That's good, Minnesota.
That's hard to draw.
You ever try?
I mean, I didn't do it well.
Not as easy as you think.
I did try it.
Oh, that Chargers one didn't age well.
Also, instead of getting a tattoo on your team before they win the Super Bowl,
like if you're like, August, I'm going to get a tattoo of my team winning the Super Bowl.
Why not just put a future on them?
Right?
Yeah.
Wouldn't that be better?
That would be better.
You win money, and you could actually say to people, I won money.
But the thing is, if you do that and that they win, you get bragging rights like, I have more faith than anybody else.
But it's never worked.
It's never worked.
Right.
It's probably worked at some point.
I don't know.
The ones that work don't get viral.
You don't get the attention for the ones that work.
I guess that woman will go viral again.
She gets it.
The Cowboys win it all.
That's what I'm going to do for my tattoo on the 12-hour stream.
We'll spin a wheel for the year and spin a wheel for the team.
Oh, yes.
1885.
Austin Bruins.
Get the Sacramento Kings in 2038.
Oh, God.
That one's tough.
Hell yeah.
The ball is hilarious.
The ball's hilarious.
I actually think that one kind of like, it's so bad, it's good.
Yeah, that one's funny.
Yeah.
Oh.
I feel bad for Pat, dude.
He was gung-ho about the Vikings all year, and then the Vikings got smoked.
Poor bastard.
I know.
Why all these Giants fans?
Giants.
Saturday's going to be a war.
How many people are we talking about on that stream?
We got, what, five Eagles people?
I counted at least, Kate, are you coming?
I wasn't sure.
I didn't want to take up space, but I would.
Okay, so I counted 11.
We could get less Giants fans if we want.
We could easily kick out some Giants.
We could cut some Giants fans?
Easily.
It's Ev, Clem, Rico, Glennie, Tommy, Marty, six.
And then it's Roan, Smitty, Kate, Max.
Who am I missing?
Fran?
Fran.
Me, I guess, right now.
That's a good even match.
I bet the Giants are going to try and bring in some fucking Trojan Giants fans
stuffed inside a Clem or something like that.
Do any of those guys really care about the Giants?
They don't give a fuck.
I don't think anybody.
They barely care.
I don't know how you can roast it.
This is literally how, like,
LA gangsters stand.
Well, you're not standing,
you're sitting.
We don't roast them
because they're LA gangsters.
Yeah, I guess that's
the big difference.
If you just have never
come across one,
you probably would give them
But you've never sat like that.
All of a sudden, you put boots on, you sit like that to bring attention to your boots.
Is that what you're doing?
I didn't even do it consciously.
Is that what you're fucking doing?
I think I just have done enough pure bar that I...
It's bothering me.
I'm bothered.
That's just no reason for him.
Pure bar.
He's been doing pure bar.
Got it.
One of the hardest things you can do.
What's pure bar?
It's a bar, ballet, gym class.
It's for the bitches.
The bitches?
Oh, that's worse.
That's what?
That's second position.
Brandon, why don't you do the Ridge Wallet ad?
I just did the High Noon ad.
I'll do somebody else's.
No, you got to do it.
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We didn't do the flight wheel.
All right.
We could do the flight wheel still.
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We're just ripping through January, huh?
Yeah, we are.
Yes.
No big snow yet either.
No.
I don't think it's going to snow.
I bought my son a sled.
I was all excited.
Jerry, you think that the Eagles whip ass this weekend?
Last week you told me that the Giants are going to get smoked.
I thought they were.
I don't know.
I'll take the Eagles.
I live in Rutherford, right where the Giants play.
And it's like a densely neighborhood.
I haven't seen a single flag, a single sign.
I haven't seen a jersey, a coat.
You would never know.
There's a community around there.
It's dense neighborhoods of people right around the stadium.
You've got to fly your Eagles flag.
Nobody cares.
Maybe I will off my balcony.
They're all into politics.
That's why.
What?
They're all into politics over there. Is that true? Yeah. Really? I haven't off my balcony. They're all into politics. That's why. They're what? They're all into politics.
Is that true?
Yeah.
Really?
I haven't seen a thing.
Rutherford, big political neighborhood.
New Jersey's just all politics.
Yeah, all politics.
Yeah.
It's a fact.
Great restaurants, though.
Very good restaurants.
Rutherford?
People are, oh, buddy.
Park Ave?
Yep.
Hey, KB, I got a question for you.
Good eating.
Yeah. Maybe you can help me with, because. Park Ave? Yep. Hey, KB, I got a question for you. Good evening.
Yeah.
Maybe you can help me with, because you're a child psychologist.
My son just, every night now, for probably about three weeks, whenever he wakes up at any point, he just comes into my room.
How do I stop that?
Last night, I woke up at 1.30 in the morning.
He was just sitting next to me.
And I was like, what are you doing?
It's like a boa constrictor sizing you up. Yeah, I was like, what are you doing it's like a boa constrictor
sizing you up yeah i was like what are you doing he's like i'm up we were specifically trained to
answer this question really i forget what i'm trying to think to be honest maybe a door he did
it at five in the morning too he came in at one i put him back to bed came back at five just sitting
there and he moves so quietly.
He's all the way in the room before I even realize.
Yeah, I'm trying to think.
Freaky motherfucker.
Enlist him in karate.
I'm going to send a text.
It is the thought of like, because our guy's still in a crib,
but the thought of doing the transition soon and he just has like free room.
That's what he's doing.
That freaks me out.
He puts toys in there and he just doesn't matter. Whenever he
wakes up for one second he's like
I'm just going to go see what my dad's
doing.
That's pretty cool.
What's he up to? What are you doing now?
I caught him opening the door a few weeks ago
like three in the morning because I heard something.
He literally sits
at the bottom of the door and he slowly
flies over.
Caught him red-handed.
I was like, what are you doing? It's like an egg-ground.
It's fucking insane.
I don't know what to do.
It's great.
Flattering, though.
You're that cool of a guy.
I guess, but I'd rather, maybe I got to start being mean to him.
Yeah, start being a dude.
He doesn't want to hang out with me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know.
That's not it.
That's not it.
Just be like, dude, I don't like you.
Because that'll make him want to hang out more.
Yeah, that's true.
Let him watch the tablet or anything like that?
I mean, not in the middle of the night, no.
That's good.
Yeah, throw in some HBO.
Yeah, maybe a motion sensor where if he moves too much,
a TV above the bed comes on and it's HBO.
Yeah, well, we tried everything.
There's like a light that you put in there with the sound machine
and it's like red if he's supposed to stay in the room
and green if he can get out.
Yeah.
He'll just come in and be like,
Dad, it's still red.
At 3 a.m.
Like, yeah.
Just letting you know.
That means you should stay in there.
So, yeah.
I just haven't slept in like three weeks.
What the heck is he trying to do?
You got to find this out for me, KB.
That happened to me a few weeks ago.
What?
Did someone woke up?
Yeah, he woke up in his car just doing circles.
Well, is he?
Do you think he's...
He got out of his crib?
Yeah, I think I tweeted it.
What's his mood when he does this?
Is he irritated?
He's happy.
How does he sleep?
How does he go to sleep easily?
Uh, kind of.
What time is it?
Like seven, between seven and eight.
Oh, this is pretty late.
For going to bed?
Oh, when is he doing this?
Like, when is he getting up and going to bed?
All in the middle of the night.
1, 3, and 5, you said.
Yeah, 1, 3, and 5.
And he just wants to, it really is like he just wants to hang out.
You think he's having trouble sleeping?
No.
I think if he wakes up for even a second, he's like, hang out.
We got to figure out a way to help him sleep longer and better.
What is his pre-bedtime routine?
What's the hour leading up?
We watched his favorite show, which right now I don't even fucking know.
It's PJ Mask.
We're told.
Yeah, PJ Mask.
PJ Mask and then.
It's his thing.
They turn into crime fighters at night.
There's Owlette and there's.
No, there's.
And then they say super a lot.
Yeah.
But by day,
they're just normal kids,
but by night,
they're crime fighting superheroes.
So he watches a show
about kids going out at night.
Oh, shit.
Well, yeah,
they do say like an hour
to 30 minutes before,
no like stimulating TV,
no music,
nothing more soothing.
So we do,
are you a boy,
a cat boy?
Oh my God,
this is your son, Jerry?
In the middle of the night, you found him like this?
Like 6 in the morning, just controlling his own thing.
So we watch PJ Masks.
Then we go up.
I read him a couple books, hang out, sit in his room until he falls asleep.
Last night, I was in a war in college basketball watching that game while he
was trying to go to bed which one we got it it was it was quite a night it wasn't it wasn't
whitney sent a text to me and dave four minutes before umass lowell and umbc played
and then dave put he was in tenn, so he put a lot of money on it,
and then it was just a war.
The dumbest game ever.
Did it?
Yeah, it hit.
Okay.
Because I was fighting Missouri-Arkansas.
Yeah, no, I had Arkansas.
That was bullshit.
Yeah, it was bullshit, and I had Missouri, but it was.
Missouri is the epitome of mediocrity, isn't it?
They're not even mediocre right now in basketball.
They've been bad for a while.
They've been decent this year, though.
This year they're good, but they've been bad for a long stretch.
Missouri's just there.
College Wrestling, KB.
They have a very good college wrestling team, and they have for a while.
That one kid is top.
Is he one?
That one kid, I think he's number one in the nation.
Yeah, O'Toole is number one.
Yeah.
How's my Wisconsin guy?
Arga, that's Jerry's guy.
Gomez is a bully.
Number two.
He's number two.
He's trying to prove something.
Sixth year?
I think he's like a sixth year.
There's so many seventh year, sixth year guys.
COVID shit, yeah.
Get extra eligibility.
What about my boy from state, though?
What about my boy from Penn State?
I don't know why.
There's a bunch of them. Aaron Brooks.
Yeah. Artister Rachi.
How about Yann? I'm talking about them.
Who plays football.
He's on his ninth year.
Really? Yeah.
That's so awesome. He went to college.
He started college in like, yeah, 2000.
All at Oregon? No.
He went around a little. Transferred,
red shirt, gray shirt, injured, COVID.
Yeah, wrestlers can take an Olympic red shirt, a medical, a regular, and a COVID.
Jeez.
So what are they doing, KB?
You know more about the sport than me.
That guy, Ridge Lovett from Nebraska, why wouldn't they wrestle him this year?
Is it because of the competition?
Yeah, I think he assumed that Yanni was unbeatable.
Then he proved he's not.
Still think it's a smart move.
Gotcha.
Look at this.
He's talking wrestling.
I like it.
I've said it before.
I love whenever anyone is very much into anything.
I can listen to them talk about it.
We finally had a college wrestler who had the ability to be a mainstream or more mainstream star, AJ Ferrari.
Oh, yeah.
He did?
Wait, how did he fuck it up?
Sexual assault.
You know, Gable Steveson has been a huge flop in WWE.
They don't know why.
I've kind of seen that.
I think his brother is just doing better.
I thought he was going to be this huge star, and they can't even put him on TV right now.
Why?
Is this happening? Yeah, I don't know. You going to be this huge star, and they can't even put him on TV right now. Why? Is this happening?
Yeah, I don't know.
You need to be a showman.
Yeah.
A lot of it is how good you are at speaking.
Oh, yeah.
Or you could just get.
His body is also, in amateur wrestling,
his body is like hulking,
but in the world of pro wrestling, it's not.
What about, you know, Jacob Casper?
He's the Creed Brothers.
He was a heavyweight wrestler.
I think he's.
Yeah, they're doing good.
The Creed Brothers are doing great.
All right.
How come Jon Jones is a underdog?
Back.
What?
He's fighting again?
Jon Jones, Cyril Gunn, March 4th, heavyweight.
Oh, that's going to be awesome.
Heavyweight Jon Jones.
Is it down to 100?
I saw it at like 120 or something.
I think it's down to 100.
I don't understand why.
But I don't know shit about UFC.
You know what I mean? He's like the greatest of all time, right? He's the best of all time, I don't understand why. But I don't know shit about UFC.
He's like the greatest of all time, right?
He's the best of all time, but he kept beating himself by doing stuff.
So who's the greatest of all time?
Greatest?
George St. Pierre.
Probably Khabib.
It's like how LeBron's the best of all time, but Michael's the greatest of all time.
Khabib.
Nobody ever came close to beating him.
GSP.
GSP's in the combo.
George St. Pierre. John Jones is in the combo
I love George St. Pierre
He's like John Calvin
Damn
If Jerry and KB want to get to a wrestling meet
I have connections to Rutgers
I could hook that up
They're pretty solid
Rutgers is how they're
Oliveira
Joey Oliveira
Is next up in Rutgers
Yeah
Joey Oliveira
Remember that
Their coach loves Barstool stuff
That'd be cool
they just lost the Alvarez guy just transferred
they're too
Jersey centric
that's how just Jersey
is though
this is a dumb question but it's an individual sport
but does the team make a big
difference
in people winning
do you know what I mean like team cohesiveness
does that really matter in wrestling or like it take it or leave it you can go to any school and
if you're good at wrestling you're good at wrestling or like no it's more so if you have
a good team you're probably i guess you're practicing better that was a dumb question
no that's how i feel about baseball i feel like baseball is such an individual it is baseball is
one of the most in you i think so there's no it. It's just like, can you hit against the guy
who's throwing at you?
Yeah, there's no...
You don't have to like each other.
You don't have to rely on each other too much.
You don't have to know what the play is.
But there's people like Soriano.
He just can go anywhere and win.
Oh, yeah.
He's an outlier.
You know?
Totally.
Yeah.
That's who I was going to say.
Soriano.
Alfonso? That's who I thought when he say, Soriano. Alfonso?
That's who I thought when he said it.
I was like, how is this?
He was a phenomenal fantasy player for about five years.
I mean, well, I just love dudes who were a threat to go 40-40.
I like dudes that are just really, really skinny but can still hit.
Like, he was very skinny, very narrow.
He can mash and also run the bases.
Beanpole?
Yeah, I like those guys.
Soriano.
Neil Cruz. Jimmy Rollins should be in the hole. Be your bases. Yeah, I like those guys. Soriano. O'Neal Cruz.
Jimmy Rollins should be in the Hall of Fame.
Be your guy.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, the Pirates guy?
Yeah, yeah.
They're going to lose.
He's going to be a Yankee.
He's like the most exciting player ever.
Oh, my God.
And his name, too.
Yeah.
Who is this?
O'Neal Cruz.
He hits 6'7".
He's a judge.
He gets very showy home runs.
Yeah, he hits just laser beams.
He throws it 100 miles an hour.
6'7"?
Yeah. I'm pretty sure. He runs like a 100 miles an hour. Six, seven? Yeah.
Pretty sure.
He runs like a million miles an hour.
Yeah.
He's incredible.
What's his nationality?
Oh, what a pussy.
Fuck you, Hank.
What an absolute pussy.
He's the worst, dude.
He's the worst.
He has like a Busting with the Boys Cowboys hat on.
Busting with the Boys.
That is the name of their show.
Everyone listens in bus. We got Derrick Henry on Busting with the boys. That is the name of their show. Everyone listens in bus.
We got Derrick Henry on Busting with the Boys.
What?
Should we spin the wheel?
Yeah.
Add flight wheel to it?
Yep.
What time's your flight?
Seven.
The last one will be six.
No, I can't do that.
You'd probably make it for a sixer.
What airport?
What time is it?
LaGuardia?
You're fine.
Do you have TSA paycheck?
Easy.
Clear.
Okay, so you're fine, dude.
Delta?
Yeah.
Oh, Delta, clear.
Terminal, what, four?
I should have been there
15 minutes ago.
No, you're going to get
through so fast.
Did you guys see that lady
at the Atlanta airport yesterday
spraying the fire extinguisher?
No, that's not it.
Oh!
Wait a minute.
Oh, no!
Oh, fuck, that's worse.
I didn't bring anything.
Jerry, this always happens to you.
Yeah, it sucks.
I'm going to have to go to the airport with it.
Let's do it.
Didn't you bring it to me yesterday?
Just one person.
A few days ago?
I took it out.
I'm just bringing my backpack.
I'm there for one day.
Yeah, well, see what happens.
God damn it. Can I go reserve the bathroom backpack. I'm there for one day. Yeah, well, see what happens. God damn it.
Can I go reserve the bathroom so somebody doesn't have to go in to poop?
Just keep a close eye.
Oh, great.
Everyone on it.
I'm going to reserve the bathroom.
TJ, you're on it too.
Should we put Che on it?
Yeah.
What kind of bullshit?
This is classic, though.
So one person's-
One person has to go. Only one person's wet. One person has to go.
Only one wet.
Only one person.
Okay.
Eliminator.
You're fine, dude.
We're all fine.
No one's getting wet.
Yeah, actually.
Statistically, none of us are getting wet.
Correct.
We're good.
God damn it.
I really don't want to get wet.
I've been sitting like this the whole show.
I'm so cold.
I think I would turn it on hot and stand in there.
I would like really just.
That'll get you so cold afterwards.
I know.
Heating up and then getting back down.
Should take a cold plunge.
Should take a seven minute cold shower.
I hate that trend that everyone's doing now.
I know.
Cold bath thing.
Yeah, that's become huge.
That and taking cruises
to Antarctica.
Yes.
Yep.
Cruises in general.
They're making cruise ships
bigger and better
and I don't know
who the hell's going on them.
Carrie,
your per episode wet
has to be so high.
I feel like you've
done like 20 episodes
and it's three of them.
I think I'm good. I think I'm free.
Crazy thing to say.
That was free.
This is a wood composite.
This is a wood composite. Yeah. That's even real wood. This is particle board. Particle board.
Fuck!
Yes!
Phew!
I'm not nervous yet, but I'm getting...
You're trying to get karma.
I feel bad.
Two away.
Two away from getting nervous.
Oh...
That's me.
That's me.
No!
I think it's gonna be Kyle.
I feel like Kyle gets wet more than me. I think it went a lot.
A lot.
A lot.
A lot.
I'm too cold for this right now.
Come on, stop.
No!
Nice, Nick.
Way to help out Kyle.
I thought that was a hate.
Next up.
I hate this.
Next up is TJ.
Come on, wheel.
Come on, wheel. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Yes. Next up is TJ. Come on, wheel. Come on, wheel.
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
Yes.
Dead center.
Brandon.
Thank God.
God damn it.
God damn it.
Oh, dang it.
Somebody's in there.
He's in a poop right now.
Oh, no.
Oh, Brandon, Brandon, Brandon, Brandon, Brandon, Brandon.
Peace, Brandon.
Good shit, Brandon.
Oh, my bad, my bad.
All right. I feel genuine joy. Peace, Brandon. Good shit, Brandon. My bad, my bad. All right.
I feel genuine joy.
TJ and Brandon, best of seven.
Genuine joy.
First to hit four times.
Oh, wait.
Yeah, Brandon's ready.
TJ, I'll jinx him.
Take off your pants.
I actually want to get what?
What?
That's reverse psychology.
There we go.
Nice.
Reverse wheel psychology.
TJ wants to.
Yeah, he would prefer it.
Like the video if you haven't already.
Yeah, like it, like it, like it.
TJ's up 1-0.
One for TJ.
Oh.
Why is it in there?
Yeah, who's in there?
I don't know.
We don't want to.
Doesn't matter.
You can do it.
Last time I saw Frank, he was eating a KFC famous bowl.
Do nothing, TJ.
Oh, baby bowl.
It could be a comeback, Brandon.
Hold on.
There's never been a sweep.
Brandon, there's never been a sweep.
It can't happen.
We've seen 3-1 comebacks, too.
It's never happened on this.
It would be the most shocking thing ever if you got swept.
That person is still in the bathroom.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
You're good.
You're good.
Uh-oh.
3-0.
If you get swept, there's got to be a sweep.
There'll never be a sweep.
It's got to get super wet.
There's no chance I blow this. There's no chance I'd blow this.
There's no chance you'd blow this.
Still in the bathroom.
Sweep is unheard of in the wheel.
It's a sweep.
A sweep.
Hey, Brandon, we don't know who's in there.
Who's in there?
Rip them out, Brandon.
Who's shitting?
Just go right in there while they're shitting.
I think it might be Stanko.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, he's going to have to take a stinky wet.
That air is thicker in there.
It is.
It's like a humid, it's like a tropical sauna.
Oh, man.
I had to shower last Friday because I came straight from the gym
and it was right after a D-Low
Lowe's gotta got it
like that
I mean he posts the fast food
his Bloomin' Onion
per capita is
his feces is filled with
experimental menu items
it's like a green hot dog bun.
Shit it out.
Who's in there?
Who's the worst?
Besides Suspect 7.
Jeff's stomach looks like that
Breezewood PA exit picture.
Oh, the fucking
fast food chain's lined up.
Oh, so it's not Jeff.
It's not Jeff. It's not Jeff.
Doug's?
Doug's, yeah, would be bad.
He eats like a bitch.
Big farts, though, we know from Doug.
He eats like a bitch?
Yeah.
Is that still true?
Yeah.
Jerry.
Yeah, I mean.
Have you been out to eat with him since?
Yeah, all the time.
He eats like a bitch every time?
Oh, there's a fucking log jam.
Literally.
What's going on? Tommy's trying to get in. Jeff's trying to
get in. What if it's Rochelle?
Oh my god.
That'd be nice, actually.
Sounds like a dream.
Brandon would have a productive shower.
That person is really...
Yeah, just a perfectly coiled turd
And it would drown in the shower
By trying to sniff at the same time
I don't know who it is
It sucks for the person too
Yeah they're just
They're just gonna be like
Oh
And look at the office
Like doing their passes
To show that they're not the one shitting
Oh Glennie hates the office like passes to show that they're not the one shitting. I'm not over it content right now. The one that could be is Lenny.
Lenny hates the assumption that fat guys take stinky shits or smell bad.
I'm going to, as someone who's a little bit overweight, I'm going to say that the assumption
is true.
Sometimes you go in a bathroom and you can smell ass cheeks.
Yeah.
Pop poop.
Lenny's probably waiting for a call, Pop poop. He's probably with ass cheeks.
He's just sitting on his phone right now, just hanging out.
Doesn't Glennie always play Hootie when he's shitting?
Huh?
Doesn't Glennie always play Hootie when he's shitting?
He plays Hootie and he makes sure to nut.
He makes sure he comes.
This would be so funny.
Oh, yeah.
You'll be able to tell
a bathroom echo, too.
Yep.
That's a long one.
Uh-oh.
Which could be a video game
or something.
Dang.
What else could it be?
He just texted, coming out.
Oh, no.
He's probably watching the yak.
Oh, no, Glennie.
That was mid-wipe that I called him.
Good, Brandon.
Poor Glennie.
Stay there.
Stay there, Brandon.
It's Glennie.
It's Glennie.
It's Glennie.
They're wiping up now.
Randy, you got to get in there right after.
The air is thick, it's smelling right.
But we got the fucking who of shitters walking by.
Glennie doesn't get enough credit.
Billy.
Clem.
Large.
Ace is in the crowd.
Glennie doesn't get enough credit for just having a hilarious name, Glenn.
Glenn.
Such a funny name.
Glenn Ball.
Lenneth Baldrow.
Yeah, Glenn Balls.
Glamour.
Yeah, that's a murderer's row.
That's our best.
30 under 30.
He's our number two hitter.
Frank should make a list of the best shitters. 30 under 30. 30 under 30 He's our number two hitter Frank should make a list
Of the best shitters
30 under 30
30 under 30
He said he was coming out
He's not coming out
This is perfect
I know what happened
Did he say it's coming out
Or he's coming out
He said coming out
He startled into a pinch
And now he's
Right
Yeah
Now you're gonna smell ass
Just tell him to finish
In the shower
Meet Brandon in there.
Just unlock the door and be sudged up head to toe.
It is so bad because you know he's rushing himself and he still can't escape.
It's actually very mean to Glennie.
Brandon is being very mean.
He's being very mean.
It's very mean.
It's all Brandon's fault.
So, another all-star shit.
My God.
We have, this is like a hall of fame right now.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
God damn it.
Where'd he go?
He's standing right next to the door.
He's eclipsed.
Oh, he's here.
Poor Glennie.
I think he just said, is it bad?
And Glennie went, yeah.
It's Glennie's post lunch.
I know Glennie had his lunch.
No, he's...
Yeah.
Glennie, come in here.
What do you have to go?
Glennie.
He had that garlic tzatziki.
Yes, he was talking about getting the Mediterranean.
Money, come on in.
Detail your diet.
I need a shower.
What?
Brandon's got to go take a shower.
How'd you know I was calling you for that?
Why else would you be calling me?
Did you shit so hard your front pocket's about to fall off?
No, this thing's been broken for a while.
Okay.
Did you get Rochelle on OnlyFans?
I did not.
She left without me trying to get her.
I know.
It was kind of sad.
I thought she would DM me and ask me to come on, but she didn't.
Did you have Naya today?
Yeah, I did.
Why?
You have the garlic.
I have a stain on my shirt.
No, I'm not saying it because of that, because Brandon's literally following you into the bathroom,
so I'm wondering what kind of scent profile.
I did actually have Naya like 45 minutes ago.
Oh, nice.
Are you going to the Rangers
tonight?
No.
Oh, shit.
I wanted to go.
Why don't you go?
I don't know.
From game time.
It broke my heart.
What are some
of the last things
you've eaten?
Because I know
it takes guys
72 hours to digest.
It was the first
thing I ate
for dinner last night.
I had a little
grilled chicken.
Oh, okay.
I had some grilled
chicken and a
Mississippi comeback
sauce with some light mayo.
Okay, there we go.
Did you have fruit last night?
Brandon's in the Mississippi comeback sauce.
Midnight, you had fruit?
Yep, watermelon, midnight.
And then, yeah, that's pretty much it.
What about before that?
Lunch yesterday.
What did I have for lunch yesterday?
I had grilled chicken tenders from Stickies.
Oh, nice.
No, I brought turkey and ham roll-ups. I had Stickies. No. Oh, nice. No, I brought turkey and ham roll-ups.
I had Stickies on Tuesday.
Oh.
So Stickies on Tuesday
is probably what he's getting right now.
We're just grilled nuggets.
It was some nougat sauces.
I'm saying if it's taken 72 hours to digest.
Had a jerk barbecue sauce.
That was really nice.
But, yeah.
It's very mean that Brandon did this to you.
Yeah, I mean, you guys should,
I just told him,
you guys should put a sign on the door.
Yeah, we were going to. It was locked.
For future reference, is it every Thursday?
No.
It's random. Because this has happened before with Kate.
Yeah.
What are the days? I don't want this to happen.
It's random.
It's random.
You're too regular, dude.
I would say it's between 2 and 3 o'clock.
Here he comes.
As I was in there, I saw you guys post a clip, and I was like, fuck, man.
That's a disaster.
Yeah, now I'm going to get shamed.
Oh, you don't get shamed.
Yeah, people's poop smell good.
You probably will.
Holy shit.
Wow, you really got wet.
Oh, man.
You made me cold looking at you.
That is a wet guy.
Look at that nipple.
Look how wet he is.
Look what he's done.
Oh, he is wet.
What's up, boys?
How was it?
It wasn't as,
the poop wasn't as bad
as I thought it would have been.
Here we go, buddy.
He vindicated.
You're shivering.
Uh-huh, it's cold.
Yeah, the poop wasn't as bad.
The water was,
it was fine.
It was not the best,
but it was not the worst.
You got real wet.
You got soaked.
It's called the wet wheel, Nicky.
So I got wet.
What did it smell like?
What would you guess that he ate?
It smelled like most of the poop had been gone about 15 minutes.
Oh, so he was just chilling.
I feel like he was just chilling.
He said that he was sitting on the toilet and he saw a clip about the wet.
I think he was just in there leisure time because it did not smell like fresh poop.
I feel that.
I like personal time in the bathroom.
I don't think you take the lobby bathroom as your personal time bathroom.
I don't know.
What's the difference between how a billionaire showers and how a millionaire showers?
Evian water, I think.
Huh?
Gary Seinfeld used to have Evian water going through his spigot.
Type of water?
Yeah, I think the type of water.
Or maybe the amount of heads.
You cold?
I'm fine.
I'm a little cold.
Why? What do you think of this?
I think there's a crazy discrepancy.
Oh.
I don't think
billionaires step over anything when they
get into the shower.
There's nothing at shin height.
Yeah, billionaires don't stub
or bump into anything.
I think they also have at least five different spots where water's coming from.
Is that what the show usually ends when somebody gets wet?
That's the dream.
I think we yak for about a...
Until Nick has to go on his plane traditionally.
We yak it.
What product crossover do we have with billionaires?
Do we use the same brand of toenail clippers?
Oh!
Hairbrushes?
I don't know.
Probably not.
Blenders?
I'm assuming they have the most expensive of everything.
Isn't the blender, isn't that like, what's the-
Ninja?
Yeah, the nice blender that's-
Blendtuck?
What's the thing that every, all the home appliances-
Cuisinart?
Vitamix?
Cuisinart.
Cuisinart feels like it's the top of the line, right?
There could be some German shit that's made from a jet engine that we don't even know about, though.
But they have chefs.
I don't think they even cook or do anything.
They're having one of ones.
Brendan, don't shiver.
Don't shiver, Brendan.
How do you not do that?
I think you just control it.
I've heard that about the cold baths.
I don't have better toilet paper.
How long does hypothermia take?
I don't think that's really a risk here.
Well, we'll find out.
Test the limits of your strength. Jerry, what about my feet? What don't think that's really a risk here. We'll find out. Test the limits of your strength.
Jerry, what about my feet? What do you think?
It's a good foot.
Thanks.
It's not an ugly foot.
As ugly as you think?
A little too bony.
The pinky toe goes directly under the rest of the feet.
A little too bony for me.
Well, you know, I'm kind of a bony guy
if I wasn't so fat.
Yeah, that's true.
Aren't we all...
Are you dead?
Yeah, it looks like
a dead-ass foot, dude.
Brendan, did you drown?
All right,
let's not get too close
on my feet.
That's a dead foot.
Jiggle it, jiggle it, shorty.
We need to warm you up.
Start a fire.
Controlled fire.
I'm good now.
I'm starting to warm up a little bit.
Exactly.
That color's coming back to your foot.
You feel good?
I feel fine.
All right, so then we can end the show.
Yeah.
I don't know.
There's a spot on the back of your pants not wet.
I'll try to get all of it. Oh, there's a spot on the back of your pants not wet. Oh. I'll try to get all of it.
Oh, my God.
That's so much colder.
We got to make sure we get it all.
So much colder.
Now we can see a perfect outline of your penis.
Brandon, kudos to you.
I think I would have been pissed off.
About that?
Yeah.
Well, he's already very wet.
Yeah, you're right.
I forgot.
He's already fully wet.
That really didn't add anything.
No, but that's the temperature-wise.
Shrunk his dinky.
When you guys do the wet wheel, do you do it hot?
Do you do it medium?
Do it hot.
Do it scalding hot.
Do you?
Yep.
I do it medium.
That's the only good part about it.
Why?
Why medium?
I don't know.
You should have gone hot. I do it medium. That's the only good part about it. Why? Why medium? I don't know. You should have gone hot.
I do it medium.
That's bizarre.
I do like the evolution of the wet wheel.
It's just one person has to be punished every couple months.
I'm fine with it.
Wheel is the wheel.
Owns us.
I'm just ready for your wheel to hit.
Yak be over for it.
Fill the whole fucking thing.
We're due for a draft, too.
What do you mean?
Greedy draft.
It's like we'll spin
who could take an ingredient
for a sandwich, per se.
Ah.
Or a gumbo,
or jambalaya.
Or jambalaya.
Jambalaya.
Jambalaya, per se.
It's just delicious.
All right.
I'm going to go.
All right, we'll end the show.
Nick's got to go.
Yeah, I do.
We're not ending the show for you, Brandon.
Just want to clear this.
Have you seen Giants fans are dying their dicks blue?
Have you seen this?
Have you heard about this?
Dying their dicks blue?
Yeah, they're dying their dicks blue.
That guy went on live and said that Giants fans are dying their dicks blue.
It's the act.
It's the act.
It's your project style. It's a true It's your straws
The act style
We'll take it for a while
It's the act
It's the act
It's the act
That's time to stock shop
We're doing Yankees
It's the act
It's the act Bye.