The Yak - Sultry Boys & Battle Nips With Frankie Borrelli | The Yak 10-19-21
Episode Date: October 20, 2021I land boysYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the act It's the act
Yeah, it's time to talk shop
And do a Yankee pop
It's the act
It's the act
Them Island boys
So fuck
Already
With the best on
Them Florida boys
All day
In my head
Yeah
Yeah that's fucked up
What's up boys?
They made island a verb
When'd they do that?
When?
In the song
What'd they say?
Are we gonna fire it up
Right off the top like that?
You have to
That's right
I'm an island boy
And I've been trying to make
Oh I'm an island boy I'm a just island boy I'm a just island boy I am going to just
That's a verb They're like, you want to be famous. I'm trying to be out the greatest. I'm a Florida boy.
I got a real damn topic.
I'm like the dumb on the topic.
I'm an island boy.
I'm playing this song, yeah, like a wagwan man.
Trying to make it to the top.
I'm an island boy.
Trying to make it.
Can we get this on Spotify so I can get it on loop?
I think they think Florida is an island.
Is that what's going on?
Hey, technically it's all one island, bro.
Pangea, my dog.
Pangea, my dog.
Open your fucking eyes.
Who's your favorite island boy?
Historical.
Sean Kingston.
Island boy.
Epstein.
William Wallace.
He would have loved that song.
Yeah, he would have.
Epstein would have been playing at Little St. James.
Welcome to Little St. James.
I'm an island boy.
Bill Gates is just waving on the front of the boat.
He would have made fucking shitty ass, you know, like bachelor party hats and shirts
saying island boy.
Prince Andrew.
Like, hey, Prince Andrew, I got you this gift.
We should rock at the same time. These island boys. Do you think anyone had their bachelor party on Little St. Like, hey, Prince Andrew, I got you this gift. We should rock at the same time.
These island boys.
You think anyone had
their bachelor party
on Little City?
Definitely.
Gerald Seinfeld.
Oh, no.
The island boys.
Look at those nummies, though.
Elvis.
I don't mean...
Brandon is the furthest thing
from an island boy.
Yeah.
He's a mainland boy.
He's a mainland boy.
That boy's landlocked.
He's a swamp land boy. He is landlocked. He's a swamp land boy.
He is landlocked.
Couldn't even cut it in the swamps, honestly.
City boy.
Where is Brandon at?
Interview.
Interview.
For a new job.
Boo, Brandon.
I wish.
I fucking wish.
It sucks because he won't get it.
I hung out with Brandon all day Saturday. It was actually fun-ish. I believe it. It sucks because he won't get it. I hung out with Brandon all day Saturday.
It was actually fun-ish.
I believe it.
He didn't.
Do you know Brandon doesn't give like an old-
Tips.
An old-
I can see that.
No, he didn't.
No, he was like, when the waitress was like, you guys all said, he's like, yeah, Dan will
take care of this.
That was nice of him.
But an Ole Miss fan came up and was a huge fan of Barstool.
Brandon wouldn't give him eye contact.
What?
Yeah.
It was like a dog, like a timid dog at a park.
Was he afraid to let him down?
I don't know.
I actually said to him, can you give him eye contact, Brandon?
And then he did.
He looked at him.
And then he looked back.
Was he being coy or was he being rude?
Oh, yeah.
Certainly.
Something about Ole Miss gets that.
That guy, he becomes Hulk.
He becomes crazy.
He loses his mind.
And that's why everyone on the campus loves him.
Yeah, you know what's making me lose my mind?
These Travis Matthew sweatshirts.
Oh.
TravisMatthew.com slash yak.
Especially the cloud collection.
I want Travis Matthew, if you're listening right now, Travis, can I call him Travis?
Of course.
Mr. Matthew.
Travis, Mr. Matthew, I would appreciate if you could make the cloud line in more colors for the pants because I want to wear jumpsuits.
Oh, shit.
Of just cloud Travis Matthew.
Make me all of the color iterations. I will only wear that.
The sweatpants and the jumps
and the sweatpants, same color. I will rock
it until the end of time because
I was in luxury on something. They have black on black.
Black on black. They have gray on gray.
Do they? I don't think they do.
They have gray sweatshirts. They don't have gray sweatpants?
I don't think they do. I think they have blue on blue.
So what I'm asking, Travis,
Mr. Matthew, please, because I love it so much.
It's the most comfortable sweatpants and sweatshirt combo I've ever worn.
I felt like I was sleeping on a cloud.
So please make me more in different colors.
Steven, are you listening to this?
Can you get this for me?
Have them do custom, maybe a custom joint with me.
Oh, a collab.
Mr. Matthew's on the line right now?
Mr. Matthews? We'll right now? Mr. Matthews?
We'll certainly make the request.
Use code YAK20.
Use code YAK20.
You can get the black on black right now.
You can also get, there's a bunch of different sweatshirts.
If you maybe work at a job where you can't wear sweatpants, you can just get the sweatshirt.
They look great.
We were all rocking them yesterday.
People were like, fuck, man, you guys look awesome.
They say we look like the Mighty Ducks.
They are seriously the most comfortable sweatshirts I've ever had.
They're warm.
Warm.
Perfect for crisp fall weather.
So hopefully soon you will see me in exclusively Travis Matthew jumpsuits.
Wow.
Style by Travis?
Yeah.
Style by Travis.
Travis for the boy.
And Dr. Matthew sent us all personalized notes.
Does he have a PhD or a JD?
A PhD in comfort.
Yeah, pop.
Doc?
Like Dr. J.
Doctor.
Like Dr. Dre.
He's a scientist in cloud technology. The letters were handwritten, but they were all the same.
Got it.
Yeah, they treat us as equal.
Yeah.
I love that.
That's actually nice.
Who's your favorite Travis and who's your favorite Matthew?
Okay, Travis.
I'm going to take Travi McCoy.
Travis Barker?
Travi McCoy from Gym Class.
I'm going to say Travis Scott.
You like Travis Wood?
Porter.
Travis Porter.
They're back with a new album.
Boo, no.
Travis Porter, boo.
Oh, I'm going to take Pastrana.
Oh, Pastrana.
He's wicked.
Pastrana 500.
That was one of the first videos we ever did as a company, full company.
That's why I said it.
I know my history.
Yeah.
I want Nate showed up in his PJs.
If we're going Matthews, I just had to sneak it in.
I had to interrupt so I could get a good Matthew.
No, no, that's good.
Matthew.
Give me Matthew Lillard.
Can we go?
Wait, no.
You've got to go Matthews.
It's the last.
Give me Matthews Lillard.
Matthews Lillard.
Yeah.
Oh, you want my Lillard?
Matthew Ryan?
Ryan Matthews.
Matthew McConaughey?
Dave Matthews?
I'll take Matthew McConaughey.
Should we do a Travis and a Matthew draft?
Okay.
Can we get them in here?
Every single one?
Look at this picture.
This is like the first time we all were together.
That's the Avengers.
And Nate showed up in his Spider-Man jumpsuit. picture. This is like the first time we all were together. That's the Avengers. And it was, and
Nate showed up in his Spider-Man
jumpsuit.
Look at that full head of hair on Nate.
Black is all hell.
Stop talking about Moe, bro.
He looks like Gerard Way.
J-Mac on the right.
J-Mac, one of
the best, funniest
side characters in
Barstool history because he would just get duped by the internet once a month and write a very serious blog.
He wrote once, there was an Onion article that Fisher Price was putting tracking technology into the little phones for the kids.
And he wrote it.
He thought it was real.
Oh, my God.
He also, I actually saw him on the
subway a couple years ago he's a chef fucking dumbass he had an all-time ending too because
dave's dave was like it's not working out and he was like i'm actually surprised like it took you
this long to say that he was like i've i knew it wasn't working out for like a couple years now
you didn't know i've been collecting a paycheck and getting duped.
I was playing the hits.
Duped articles.
He knew he was getting duped, and he just wrote them anyway.
I thought J-Mac would be tall.
He was tall-ish, wasn't he?
He was shorter than Moe and Smitty.
Well, Moe is very tall.
I thought J-Mac, I guess, was 6'10".
Is there a dude named 6'10"?
Oh, yeah.
There was a guy named 6'10".
Look at that. Look at that. Boom"? Oh, yeah. There was a guy named 6'10". Oh, look at that.
Look at that.
Boom.
Oh, that's pretty cool.
Yeah.
Damn.
That animation.
Tall guy.
Tall guy?
Yeah.
We were really great with nicknames here.
He was 6'10".
He was tall guy.
That's right.
That's sick.
Where was he from, and why am I confusing him with J-Mac?
He was an intern, and then he went to, like, Vice or somewhere.
He did that prank that went semi-viral when the draft was in Brooklyn,
the NBA draft.
He pretended he got drafted because he was 6'10".
And he, like, went to bars and stuff and wore, like, a jazz hat.
That's sick.
Yeah, it's pretty funny.
That's a good-ass prank.
Yeah, there he is.
Look at him.
He's fucking huge.
Oh, yeah.
He's like Big T.
Yeah. He looks like Big T. Yeah.
He looks like a urine.
That looks like an older, one-month trial Ethan on the left.
Oh, that's D-Lo on the left.
I don't know who's in the middle.
It might be Muskie.
What?
That's Muskie?
No, it's not.
Who is that?
That's not Muskie.
Who is that?
I forgot what his name is, but that's not.
Is that Zolo?
No, I don't. Maybe. I knew Zolo. No, that's not Muskie. Who is that? I forgot what his name is, but that's not. Is that Zolo? No, I don't.
Maybe.
I knew Zolo.
No, that's not Zolo.
Dan, would you rather be 6'10 or my height?
6'10.
Like, easy.
But you got to think about all of it.
There's not the intangibles and like, you know.
Really think about it.
Would you rather be 6'10 or Muskie?
Would you rather be 6'10 and paralyzed or KB's height?
I think that would end up being the same height once bound.
I would definitely rather be KB's height than be 6'10.
Right?
Yeah, 6'10 I think is too much.
Thank you.
No, 6'10 is too much.
6'10 you're drawing a crowd everywhere you go.
Oh, look at those nipples.
Yeah, fuck yeah. That was when I wore a tank top to a video we did at the beach, and I forgot to put on
suntan lotion, and then I had a tank top tan just like that for two years, two full years.
People thought I had skin cancer.
That's not the cancer.
Because, yeah, no, that video was in, like, December, so it was at least six months after,
and look how pronounced the tank top tan is 10 is yeah people were very worried about me um i guess i probably
should have gotten that checked out but you didn't you didn't have cancer though right as far as i
know we actually were it actually brings up it's not funny to joke about because cancer is not
funny but but i could totally see brandon going
into like uh a doctor and they'd be like you've had cancer for 25 years you just had a low grade
cancer like you just haven't the sun makes me faint yeah like his when we were walking i was
like brandon have you ever gotten this checked out he's like not really it's like yeah he definitely
should they're like hey you've just been battling cancer for 25 years.
I don't think it's normal to not be able to go outside.
Right.
And he does have a tumorous shape.
What if he is cancer?
Brandon is cancer.
He's more cancer than man.
I'm more cancer than man.
We just looked at your charts, and you're 100% cancer.
You're an AB9 big tumor.
We don't know how you made it this far.
We cut out somebody's tumor and flushed it.
It ended up in a swamp in Mississippi.
Back in 1964.
What the?
And that's Brandon Walker's origin story.
He can never die, though.
No.
No.
Well, what's your kryptonite if you're just 100% cancer?
Yeah, like Brandon gets chemotherapy and he just shrinks as a human being.
He just dies instantly.
No, he just becomes shorter.
Your whole body.
Dude, we should put chemo around him and just see what happens.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just disappears into nothing.
Put some in his water.
Did I get shorter?
Why are we getting shorter?
He just melts.
Did you put chemo in my Chick-fil-A?
We should prank Brandon with chemotherapy.
I'm still going to eat it.
There's not enough chemo pranks.
Yeah, there needs to be more.
We gave our boy chemo.
Like a David Dobrik video?
Whoever can keep the chemo in their arm the longest.
We made a Tesla out of chemo and gifted it to one of our fans.
We should do a chemo giveaway.
We should start doing a lot of giveaway type stuff.
And before anyone gets upset. And just like scamming people. Since when is chemo a bad thing? Yeah, chemo giveaway. We should start doing a lot of giveaway type stuff. And before anyone gets upset.
And just scamming people.
Since when is chemo a bad thing?
Yeah, chemo is actually a great thing.
My friends got chemo.
Cancer is one of those things.
Chemo was the move.
You can't joke about cancer.
Everyone in the world knows someone personally who has had cancer and probably died of cancer.
So it's fair game socks.
And we say it sucks.
Now let's fucking let's kill it with joke.
Can we not find the silver lining of cancer?
Can we not?
Sorry.
Yeah, let's riff.
Laughter is the second best medicine.
Next to chemo.
Right next to chemo.
Them cancer boys with the chemo. Them cancer boys.
With the chemo on.
That would be a sweet-ass giveaway.
Or just organs, kidneys, just random, like if we get an appendix removed or something, or a spleen,
and it's like, let's auction off fucking little Sasquatch's spleen.
We should, Jordan Berry should have done a kidney giveaway video to her dad.
Saved her dad's life.
Or just a random.
Would have made a great clickbait.
Like, look what this Barstool employee did for a fan.
Yeah, but what if they just were like, yeah, like, your stuff's all right.
Yeah.
Thanks.
What model is this
i don't think so i'll wait i'll wait it out i'll wait out with my my dying kidney or just giving
it to someone on the street who doesn't need one just like actually i'm all set i got two kidneys
this kidney doesn't have bluetooth nah no thanks fuck tell me i cut out my kidney for nothing
what's frankie doing I don't know.
Let's get Frankie.
Hey, Frank.
Frank, come here.
Come here, come here, come here.
Sit over there.
Sit right there.
Dude, Frankie can cut it up with the fucking knife.
This dude can chew the fucking fat.
This boy's malleable.
We haven't talked with Frank in a while, Frank.
What is this about?
Nothing.
We're just talking.
How's it going, Frank?
You're never on this show.
Yeah.
What the fuck is up?
Last time you got squirted in the face.
Hang with the boys.
You just want to hang?
Left.
What do you got going on?
You're on edge.
Relax.
Relax.
Do some things.
Lean back.
Lean back.
I'm a little on edge.
I know.
Why?
I don't know.
You know?
You.
What the fuck do you want to say?
He could use chemo, I think.
Yeah.
We're picking one person in the office to give chemo to.
Whenever I wear one of those beanie hats.
Whenever you wear a do-rag.
If I put on any winter hat, everyone asks me how far along I am in treatment.
Pretty early.
Big time.
What gives that off?
What is it?
You have a cancer face.
I have a cancer body.
Have people ever asked you that for real?
I've gotten it.
Like in a joking manner or serious?
Yeah, golf ball busting.
Are there any respectful people who just go up to bald guys and say how far along are you?
Like a pregnant woman?
Yeah, that would be a pretty crazy thing to do.
Rub their head?
This is a wild conversation.
Yeah, no, we're busting it up, bro. We've done some weird shit today. is a wild conversation. Yeah, no. We're busting it up, bro.
We've done some weird shit today.
I don't know how we got here.
We're busting it up.
The show's 16 minutes in.
I don't know.
This happened fast.
We got a lot.
Did you guys talk about the Island Boys?
Oh, yes.
The Island Boys.
The Island Boys.
I kissed up.
The Island Boys.
I just kissed up.
Are you guys going to do it at Pump Punk?
I think we should.
We're trying to.
Gazing at the sun. Can I do it? Can I get on't. You guys can do it at Punk Punk? I think we should. We're trying to.
Gazing at the sun.
Can I do it?
Can I get on the mic?
Why are they looking at I would actually like to
get on the mic.
Yes.
Can I get on the mic for
it?
Of course.
I'll be one of the
island boys.
Do people know we're
going to Denver?
Actually, I don't know
if Dave is announcing.
We're going to Denver.
He just did a video.
Oh, okay.
So yeah, we're going to
Denver on Thursday.
Come out and see us.
Punk Punk.
Also watching the Broncos game.
Viewhouse Ballpark right outside Coors Field.
Outrageously good location.
Awesome, awesome location.
And then we're going to Bloomington on Friday night.
Let's confirm.
We got enough bets?
Yes, we did.
So I don't know why we haven't announced that, too, but we are.
We're going to do – I mean, Bloomington will be packed because it's –
Yeah.
Kilroy's is awesome.
Frankie, one of my favorite moments was when you did the Mantis impression.
Can you run that back?
Your Mantis impression is so good.
We were doing it yesterday.
Can you do him just talking about getting his dicks sucked?
Yeah, but he's not here anymore.
You know, he can't –
He's doing well.
We were literally just talking about him getting his dicks sucked yesterday,
negotiating prices.
Come on.
Please.
You can do it.
We were literally doing it yesterday.
Fucking got my dick sucked.
That dick's banned.
Congratulations to him though
That's a great accomplishment
I'll charge you
$10,000
A blowjob
I got one when I was like 11 dude
Did it cost you $10,000?
No
That's fucking crazy bro
Let's cosplay him
Him negotiating the price down
I'll give you
Give you $200
It's actually gonna be $20,000
$20,000 fucking dollars.
Shit.
What's the shape of his dick, do you think?
If you had to guess.
Probably bad.
He's gotten more southern and urban
since the last time
well the problem is
that now
you know
my Brandon Walker
and my Mantis
has kind of
those are interchangeable
do Nate
oh I can't do Nate
you did
I don't do the hand
it's fucking ridiculous
the hands are
that's not really
a good Nate though
I feel like you're out of practice
With your impressions
But you were like
YP was also always really good at impressions
But you're great at impressions
You gotta roast these people in here
YP was good
YP was really good
I don't like the way my pants look
Quick idea for you
Frankie
What about a blue and orange shirt or hoodie?
These Islander boys.
Island boys and it's just the Islanders?
Yeah.
That's sick.
What about you guys do
Son of an Island Boy, Dad?
I don't know if it will sell.
What if I make their hair orange and blue?
Yes, the Island? The island boys.
Island boys.
Frank, you were the one who pointed out that they were making it a verb.
They're turning island into a verb.
I'm just...
I'm a just...
I'm a just island boy.
I'm a just island boy.
Gazing at the sun.
Oh, fuck.
All right, bro.
Frankie also has been
Playing with the
Broken wing
Shout out to Frankie
How are you doing
I don't know how much
I could talk about this
Because I don't know
If I have to get a surgery again
The insurance company
Might be like
What are you doing
Alright turn off the cameras
Turn them off
Yeah I think there's been
Some sort of
Problem with my elbow here
You think the surgery
Was bad
Thank you
Good job CJ
Was the surgery bad The surgery wasn't. You think the surgery was bad? Thank you. Good job, TJ. Was the surgery bad?
The surgery wasn't bad.
I think the recovery was...
Not ideal?
Was not ideal.
12 days after, I was drumming.
And felt a pop.
Good thing we didn't say that.
I felt a pop.
No, thank God these mics are off.
The cameras are off.
You didn't turn the camera off.
This is our blind episode.
What is Tico?
Is Tico naked?
I think if she...
Honestly, to God, she might be.
And the cameras...
Oh, man, the stoolies are going to be pissed.
That was genuine.
I love Tico because there's very few people
in, like, Dave Portnoy's life
where he's intimidated a little bit,
so he doesn't really know how to deal with them.
Dude, the other day, he walked by her,
and he goes,
Oh, my God.
She is...
She's on full Pocahontas.
She has a...
Oh, my God. Cameras are off. Cameras are off. Yeah, she's dancing. She's trying to Pocahontas.
Cameras are off.
Cameras are off.
She's dancing.
She's in here.
The cameras are off.
Yeah, the cameras are off.
What you got? Can you turn the cameras back on real quick?
Real quick.
Damn Island boys.
Whoa.
Now is that
Is that your real hair color?
Yeah sure
Okay
Whatever you want it to be
It's like a fantasy
Okay
What is this piece?
Is it some
Pocahontas shit
Or some peacock shit
Or like
Is it
Yeah I see it
And then it's kind of like
Feathers
Feathers
Yeah
I do
And like the leather
It's like a What is that a leather Is that kind of a. And like the leather, it's like a, what is that?
A leather?
Is that kind of a?
It's a pleather.
Is it a pleather?
No, it's ostrich.
That's ostrich.
Alligator.
That's gator.
That's gator.
That's the ostrich for you?
Yeah.
You didn't bring up the big hoop, so.
Shoot, what up?
I like that you just go no shoes.
No shoes.
That's kind of like whatever.
It's also fashion.
Who the fuck cares?
Oh, and Jerry know we talked about
Shoes last week
You know
So now fuck it
Okay
We're going
Okay
Uh oh
Watch out
Hey now
Watch out
Watch out
Rachel
I'm staying
Ten feet away
Okay
Oh
Oh
Sass
Sass
I saw that tweet
You don't fuck with me bro What I saw that tweet. You don't fuck with me, bro?
What?
I saw that tweet.
Doesn't fuck with you.
Does not fuck with.
Does not fuck with.
Wow.
Nicky.
Nicky.
I went for a tap.
Tricky.
I fuck with you.
I fuck with you.
Sass is on the.
I fuck with you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I fuck with you real hard.
Savage.
Thank you, Tico.
All right, Tico.
We'll see you.
All right. Yeah. Say shout out to the people. All Savage. Thank you, Tico. All right, Tico. We'll see you. All right.
Yeah.
Say shout out to the people.
All right.
See you, Tico.
You're the best.
Sorry for Sass.
Sorry about Sass.
He's a fucking douche.
I don't know what this is.
She doesn't have nipples, huh?
Because the whole tit was out.
No, like.
No nipples.
The whole tit was out and it just looked like. Zero n. The whole tit was out, and it just looked like...
Zero nipples.
Like pumpernickel bread dough.
Not exactly.
That whole tit was out.
I was just like, the whole tit was out.
That's the whole thing.
There was no nipple.
I was wildly uncomfortable.
I was zoned out for the first 15 minutes, like, posting something for you guys,
and then it went from chemo, mantis blowjob, to just a titty in my face.
But is it a titty without a nipple? No, it's not. It's not. It's just a titty and no it's not it's not it's not
it's not it's not you can post that on instagram i i frequent that reddit it's called ghost nipples
go on just chicks with no with like you know that's your thing are they photoshopped out
no i think it's just sometimes there's not much areole. Is it a, what is it, an areole?
Areole.
Areole.
Areole.
I'm done.
Areole.
Sprinkle a little areole on this.
I've got no areole.
What am I supposed to fucking suck on?
Sir, would you like some areole?
Say when.
Tell me when.
You're going to have to leave the titty with me.
Yeah, say when.
Just leave the titty with us.
Leave the titty with us. Just leave the titty with us. Leave the titty with us.
We'll do our own Ariel.
We get a little more Ariel over here.
We ran out.
It's red. It's just all normal tits.
Yeah, but you see how
they're faint nipples.
They're faint.
They're faint.
They're the same hue as the breast.
That seems like a place that it's just you
and a bunch of Mormons.
How many users are on?
Nipple and tits are the soaking up.
How many users are on?
475,000 members.
I can't scroll down because it's just fully boobs.
Come on these tits.
Look how many members there are.
Why is that clicked on, TJ?
I was making sure it was okay for you, too.
It is not.
Okay.
I used to moderate torpedo tits.
But then we re-ran out of material.
It's an endangered titty.
No, it's extinct.
TJ, can you look up?
There used to be a Mormon.
It was like they would make these pictures with naked women, but it was like bubble.
Do you remember this trend?
There was like bubbles in front of them.
The nipples faded away like Back to the Future.
They just disappeared.
Yeah, it was a game.
It was like a Swiss cheese.
Oh, that, yes.
In front of the, so like you could see parts of the woman.
Right, I remember that.
It wasn't technically porn.
I forget what that was called.
It was hot.
Yeah.
Whatever happened to Cone? That's what you were going to say that's how it was hot yeah whatever happened that's what
you're gonna say right it was hot but i know do you remember when there was the game it was like
a brick breaker that yeah this yes there it is that's that's fucking hot as shit because they're
wearing bikinis right put bubbles over them so it looks like they're naked dude the mormons like
hacked how to see hot chicks in clothes not in clothes yeah like those those women are clothed but they're
not when you take it into the normal mormon porn world you guys ever play the game where it's like
a box of 100 boxes and there's a woman behind it and you have to pick which number the nipples are
behind what oh yes i have it's so much fun it's the best game of all time play that i don't think
it's a computer game it's usually you send it's so funny picture we It's the best game of all time. Can we play that? I don't think it's a computer game. Usually you send one picture, we'll have one,
and the next one we'll have with no number.
It's like Battleship.
It's Battleship.
I think it's called Battle Nipples.
It's so funny.
It's this little girl, and you're like,
oh, it has to be number 17 and 14.
What do you mean, a little girl?
Oh, fuck.
No, I meant size.
He's an island boy.
It's a skinny...
Size-wise.
I think it's called Battle Nips.
I think it's called Battle Nips.
I can't believe I said that.
Yeah, there it is.
You're looking at it and you're like 12, 14.
But really, I guarantee it's like
67.
I'm going to go 21
21 and 24
TJ play it
off screen and tell us what numbers they are
we can't play this game
I think it's 14-15
12-14
the war room
they used to have it in bars
they don't have it anymore.
There is a loophole.
We can show nipple on YouTube
as long as it's educational.
So like breastfeeding?
So sass can get to the camera
and suck on the screen.
We actually found a loophole.
Oh.
Okay, this is fun.
This is actually fun.
All right.
All right, hold on, hold on.
No, no, I'm going to go...
Yeah, go back up.
Pull it back up. Pull it back up. I mean. I'm going to go. Yeah. Go back up.
Pull it back up.
Pull it back up.
I mean, I'm going to go.
It's not as fun when you're playing. Oh, I think it's low.
23-28.
I'm going 34-37.
23-28.
39.
39.
39.
No way.
39.
They're side hangers.
No.
34.
No, it's 29.
It's 29.
Oh, it could be lower.
It could be 40.
Oh!
You found a nip.
24?
22?
No, it's 23.
Oh, 34.
It can't be that symmetrical, right?
34?
34.
33.
33.
Oh.
23.
Oh, no.
Guys, I think it's 32.
I think it's 32.
Oh, my God.
What is that line?
What is that? Wait, it's 33. I think it's 32. Oh, my God. What is that line? What is that?
Wait, it's 33.
33?
It might be 43.
35?
Oh, I think it's 43.
Oh, 35.
I can play again.
What am I looking at?
What was that?
Wait, let's actually do this in an orderly way.
Let's see how many picks.
You go first, Frankie.
So you count how many picks
Until you get it right
You go with one person
I'm going to go with 35
No
28
Oh so it's whoever lands on it
And then we'll eliminate the people who don't land on it
Apparently on his body
Go ahead Nick
Give me
Shit 34 Go ahead, Nick. Give me... Shit.
34.
Shit.
I'll go with missile.
I'm a shark.
It's 38.
Can we do nip central?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
I was one off, Rowan.
Barely on his body.
Everybody's seen this kid.
Rowan, go to another one. I'm not sure.
No, Rowan, this is your turn.
Is this an armadillo? No, it's
the thing that started COVID. Oh, a pangolin.
You motherfucker.
Forty
three. Oh, look how
big it is.
What's a pangolin nipple look like?
Seventy six. I think they have an udder situation.
It'd be funny if he had six nipples.
All right, I'm going to go 78.
Oh.
Are they really high?
I don't know.
15.
15?
15.
Oh.
That looks kind of, no.
37.
No, no, they let us know. What are the nipples going to look like? It's going of, no. 37.
No, no, they let us know.
It's going to be 54.
54, good answer, good answer, good answer.
Fuck!
How about 73?
Oh!
Ew.
You made it.
Damn.
I fucking nailed that.
Bro? 77? Yeah! You made it. Damn. That's disgusting. I fucking nailed that. Rome?
77?
Yeah.
Oh, shit. You sure that wasn't find a dick?
I'm like a dick.
All right, should we have Frankie play one game of Family Feud before you do?
Yeah.
He's never played.
All right, go ahead.
Let's get Family Feud going.
Do you want to play Family Feud?
Sure.
Good answer. We're a game show. He's never played. All right, go ahead. Let's get Family Feud going. Do you want to play Family Feud? Sure. Good answer.
Good answer.
We're a game show.
We are.
Not a game show, but...
See, the Yak isn't so scary.
No, it's not so scary.
Yeah.
So maybe we have you on the Yak.
Maybe you have me and KB come out and golf with you and some of the other foreplay guys.
One of the other foreplay guys.
We should just swap out and just completely throw Riggs off where he just comes onto the
Zoom one day
and then it's just you and KB.
I'd rather be there physically.
Okay.
No, we could do both.
Why not start with that?
Just see how he reacts.
Yeah.
Wait, what is your take on the Brooks-Bryson match?
I hate it.
I mean, Brooks is a little soft for not playing Dave.
I'm not going to say that.
I actually like the 12 holes. i think that'll be pretty cool
yeah i just hate it because i just it's definitely gonna be forced well and also it's it's over after
that right like it's already i think it's over yeah no it is over because they announced it but
like it's that's it yeah it's done it's too bad all right we're ready Here we go, Frankie. I'll read the question. You know how to play?
I think so.
Okay.
You are playing against... T.A. Simpson, 95.
You know all these players?
Yeah, pretty well.
Some personally.
We've played her before.
The Jolly Green Giant's son isn't very smart.
He has a brain that's the size of what vegetable?
Broccoli.
Oh, God.
Ooh.
Yeah.
Oh, broccoli brain. Yeah. A of what vegetable? Broccoli. Oh, God. Ooh. Yeah.
Oh, broccoli brain.
Yeah.
A floret.
A floret.
Keep going.
Keep going. This one's very easy, Frankie.
This is the easiest one we've got.
I think he has his brain.
A pea.
Yeah.
A pea.
There we go.
Two more.
Two more.
I'm going to go with...
92.
I'm going to go with celery.
Yeah.
Celery. The size of celery. The noted go with celery. Yeah. Celery.
The size of celery.
The noted brain-shaped celery.
Okay.
Frankie knows three vegetables.
Yeah, I'm actually struggling on more vegetables here.
You got this.
Keep 20 seconds.
Just size of a brain.
The size.
Think size.
Let's think size here.
Let's think size of vegetables here.
Yeah, you keep saying that.
I don't think you know vegetables.
Jolly green giant.
Maybe something that's brain-shaped?
Yeah, what about a...
Let me think of a brain-shaped vegetable real quick.
Oh, it seems like...
What about Brussels sprout?
Maybe a Brussels sprout.
Yeah, one year out.
Maybe a Brussels sprout.
You're done.
Okay, I'm done.
So you're tired.
Corn kernel beans.
Beans are vegetables.
Beans are legumes.
Beans are vegetables? Yeah. No, they're legumes. Legumes. They are vegetables. Beans are vegetables?
Yeah.
No, they're legumes.
Legumes.
They're vegetables.
Oh, I tied her.
No?
Yeah, you did.
Here we go.
Round two.
Frankie.
Little twist. Name a subject your friends seem to love giving free advice on.
Work.
Oh, yeah.
That's the fucking truth, bro.
The host of Float Play.
Fuck.
Relationships.
Nice, nice.
Oh.
Keep going, keep going.
Free advice on, let's see.
You probably get this all the time.
Host of Foreplay?
Health?
Yeah, yeah.
Health, health, health.
Noted health podcast.
Yep.
Frankie.
Swing tips?
Swing tips.
Sports?
Yes.
Golf?
Sports?
Is it sports?
Sports?
Oh! Who put in golf swing and fucked him over, though? Yes. Golf. Sports. Is it sports? Sports. Oh.
Who put in golf swing and fucked him over, though?
How is golf not on there?
Wow.
What was that second one?
Barbies and parenting.
Barbies and parenting.
Parenting of Barbies.
I lost.
No, you need this.
Third round.
Third round.
Triple money.
Here we go.
My brain doesn't work anymore.
Name something a lifeguard should know how to do.
Swim.
Swim.
Yeah, great answer.
Great answer.
Keep going.
Keep going.
51.
Only 50.
That should be 100.
Dive.
Okay, good.
What?
Run.
Run.
Oh.
Okay.
What about maybe saving someone's life?
Yeah, but is it CPR?
That would be it.
Okay.
There it is.
Okay, and one more.
Let's see.
Come on.
Come on, Frank.
It's not diving.
It's not running.
It's CPR already.
It's swim already.
What does a look good in a bathing suit?
That's a long answer.
You're still winning, though.
You're still beating her.
What do you guys think would be the third one that a lifeguard needs to...
First aid?
Isn't that CPR?
Oh, no, you're no longer beating her.
God damn it.
Fuck.
God damn it.
First aid or something?
Tan.
Tan.
God damn it.
No.
Oh, God damn it.
All right, Frankie.
Oh, she lost points. How did that happen? What happened? She got... Save a life. Oh, God damn it. God damn it. All right, Frankie. You still. Oh, she lost points.
How did that happen?
What happened?
She got.
Save a life.
CPR is save a life.
Did he do it?
Did he get close enough?
Did he do it?
Fast.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, you fucking loser.
Sorry.
Thanks for coming on.
Frankie.
Frank.
New episode of Healthy Scratch is out this week.
I have sleep problems because of that still to this day.
I beg your pardon?
What is this?
It's my show with YP and JSB.
We used to do it every day.
Like a hockey.
Hockey, that's right.
It was like a hockey recap.
We used to wear fucking like blazers and shit.
Yeah, on the second floor of the old office.
So bad.
How did you know that, Nick?
What are you talking about?
I said I...
He said he never missed an episode. Never missed an episode. I'll see you on know that, Nick? What are you talking about? I said I... He's a huge healthy scratcher.
He never missed an episode.
Never missed an episode.
I'll see you on the stage, Roan.
See you on the stage.
Well, no, you'll see him.
I mean, we're flying first.
Also, have we talked about just like bands, planes go down all the time?
Yeah, they do.
We're taking a full band flight.
Travis Barker.
Travis Barker.
Pop Monk's being compared to Leonard Skinner.
We have some similarities.
John Denver. Randy Rhodes.
It happens all the time.
Stevie Ray Vaughan.
That was a helicopter.
Alpine Valley.
Whole band's going on this thing.
What's the worst that could happen?
We die.
We've taken flights before.
You're a nightmare on those things.
Bro, that one from West Virginia was no joke.
We had one that was like, it was pretty, like, it was very, very bad.
And I was just laughing uncontrollably.
It felt like that scene in Willy Wonka where, like, all the lights are going on.
And he's, like, laughing louder.
And he's, like.
He and Frank were crying.
I was.
And Hank were crying.
I was just laughing.
Bro, the pilot said there's a pocket
of there's a pocket that we can maybe just hit and if we don't we're here for the rest of the
night because do you guys want to go or not we're like we'll go and then we hit that pocket but
everything else was a nightmare dude like just free falls and he was laughing and i'm holding
on what can you do at that point yeah it is what it is. I would never fly again.
No.
It was terrifying.
It was.
We're hopping right back on it.
It was pretty funny.
No, this is a bigger plane than that.
Is it?
There's more people on it.
Yeah, that doesn't... It's heavier.
Oh, God damn it.
Them island boys.
Island boys.
Sass, you'll probably be in a PJ in no time, brother.
Yeah, I'm sure.
Yeah, huge interview with Dave Portman today.
Yeah.
It's good that we were reminded of the fact that you lost this advertisement by putting a dildo on the wall.
I know.
That was tough.
It was a funny clip, though.
It was like your first week here.
I know.
Walmart was going to advertise with us.
Yeah.
Huge advertising. Dildo. It was worth it first week here. I know. Walmart was going to advertise with us. Yeah. Huge advertising.
It was worth it for the lols.
We also have another, we're putting out another time for our live show in Boston.
We're doing a second live show.
We're doing a second live show.
I noticed that middle picture.
What?
Wow.
That's a great crew there, and I just got cut out.
Oh, damn.
That's fine.
Yeah.
At least Owen's looking.
Whatever.
You can click on the link.
Click on the link there.
And there was an unfortunate crop job.
You can see it's just Son of a Boy Dad,
but luckily when you click on the image,
yeah, it's still just Son of a Boy Dad.
Luckily, the title of the event, though, it can't just son of a boy. Luckily, the title of
the event, though,
it can't be confused.
Who set this up?
Did you set this up?
Did you set this up,
Owen?
Yep.
Wait, did, like,
all by yourself?
Yeah, I don't know.
Yes, he did.
That's awesome.
He's lacking confidence
Right now
You guys gonna keep that cash
Oh yeah
We're running with it
Big time
Dude a plane crash
In Houston
Just now
Just now
What
And everyone's fine
Oh
21 people on it
And
Oh it's a small plane
Oh come on
21 people
Everyone's fine
Don't get us
Don't get us gassed up.
I'm talking about the conversation we're just having about a small plane.
You can't even call that a crash, then.
I'm trying to think of a situation where a plane would crash and everyone is fine.
Actually, most plane crashes, everyone's fine.
You and I have watched the same videos.
I watch a lot of plane crash videos.
Oh, I'm horrified.
Is that true?
Yeah, there's a whole channel called the Flight Channel,
and then there's a whole series called Flights from Hell.
That's almost worse.
Wait, where is this?
Almost like every single plane crash, everyone lives.
Because they're not like real crashes.
It's like one of the engines explodes.
Oh, that's a crash.
Definitely a crash.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Oh, yeah, it's not a crash.
That's not even a crash.
So are you sure that everyone made it out safe?
One report of a minor injury.
Wow, that is a small plane.
I don't even see the plane.
I don't know how that could be,
how anyone could have made it out safe on that plane.
Yeah, it looks like the pilot of loss.
Yeah.
Island boys!
Who is the top island boys of all time?
You got to throw Usain Bolt in there.
Usain Bolt's a top island boy.
Obama from Hawaii.
Bob Marley.
Obama.
He's from Kenya.
Billy Joel.
William Wallace.
Billy Joel.
Right.
Napoleon Bonaparte.
Conor McGregor.
Yeah.
Island boy.
Churchill.
Owen.
Long Island.
Yeah. He's a long island boy Churchill Owen Long Island yeah
he's a long island boy
imagine if that's what
Long Island was
what
you just went like
across the
across the way
and it's everyone
like it's like an island
yeah they speak in a
patchwork
yeah
Pete Davidson
Staten Island
yeah
confirm the aircraft
was taking off
to north
damn
wow
that would be horrifying
yeah not for me
I'm glad we're doing this
I'm glad we're doing this
I've got some Atavans
if you need one
for real
I'll take
I'll take Denver
or anything bro
sass do the For real? He's the... I'll take Denver or anything, bro. See, my biggest fear is that the plane goes up,
and then the engines fail,
and then it just goes right back down.
Like it flips around.
Is it a roller coaster or something?
No, like it crashes.
But you don't go...
That's not how wings work, I don't think.
No, it's happened.
It still can glide.
Brother, not when you lose a wing.
Are you talking about
wartime? So you go up and then both wings
snap off? This is my biggest fear.
This is what happens in my dreams.
I'm not saying that this has to
happen in real life.
That's a good fear.
In my biggest fear, we're taking off and we're climbing,
and then all of a sudden the plane fails and we just start going right back down.
Mine's getting T-boned by another plane.
Every single time I'm just like, what if I look out the window and there's one coming at me?
That's actually how all the worst plane crashes happen.
Mine's –
Yeah.
Because planes just hit each other in the sky.
Like, what are the odds?
But I think that's because before a certain time,
they didn't have, like, the advanced radar
to know, like, if there was a plane coming at you.
Sky's pretty big.
Yeah.
I feel like you'd hear it, too, right?
What's that sound?
What is that?
Mine would be that everyone agreed that they hate me
and they're going to eject me at peak altitude.
Or give you a bag of peanuts.
Damn.
Sucked out.
Did we tell you about when me and Rowan's flight a couple weeks ago, we were landing.
Have I told this story already?
We were landing and we were probably like 10 feet off the ground.
And then all of a sudden we're just taking off again.
The pilot comes over on the thing and he's like,
there was another plane on the runway.
We literally went,
we took off.
Like we went,
we were like on the ground and all of a sudden we were like 10,000 feet in the sky within like 15 seconds.
It was crazy.
Oh my God. All of a sudden you just hear the jets like revving up
it was nuts there's a bachelorette party of women who were just like about to get off the plane
they were about they were starting to clap for the landing oh yeah was it nashville yeah yeah
rome was shitting his pants the one batch the one lady in the bachelorette party was like oh no
people were people were nervous.
Not me, though.
I've seen this in videos before.
You were drugged up beyond belief.
We'd wheel you out like Weekend at Bernie's.
Floppy ass island boy.
Island boys.
Island boys.
How was flying on the private jets?
Is it scary?
No.
Well, because you probably are so used to it.
Well, that was the most convenient way ever to travel.
Yeah.
It was like 30 minutes back and forth.
Yeah.
So they're like, well, I'll do that again.
But 30 minutes on a helicopter is a long-ass time.
Were you sweating the whole time?
It's cool because they give you the headset that lets you talk to each other,
so you feel like you're in the Army.
Yeah, that's cool.
Is there like a gun hanging
off the side? Yeah, there was a couple guns.
Rome, what did Dave say to you up there?
Best way to see the city.
Was Dave just
too comfortable on it? Oh yeah, he takes
some everywhere. He's got like one leg hanging off the side.
Yeah, he's smoking
inside. He's playing
CCR.
I asked him before. He's sitting with the pilots. I was like, are you cool with helicopters? He's like CCR. I asked him before.
He was sitting with the pilots.
I was like, you cool with helicopters?
He's like, yeah.
I was like, what about Kobe?
He's like, there are no mountains here.
So I'm like, okay, I guess we'll do it.
Speaking of, somebody DM'd the Yak in response to the Brandon Walker, Ben Mintz conversation
and said they go to Temple and somebody the next day
after Kobe's death in their lecture hall had never heard of him.
What?
Yeah.
Someone DMed me and said that they go to Ole Miss and they said they're
willing to bet that less than 1% of Ole Miss.
Well, Ben Mintz also, can you pull up his tweet to me last night?
There was a magazine at Ole Miss that wrote hold on hold on yeah who
wrote a story about Ben Mintz and he was like see big cat look at this what was the headline yeah
so we're gonna pull it up so this is Ben Mintz proving to me that everyone knows him because
he's like a magazine wrote about me a student magazine I love print media wrote about me. I haven't seen this yet.
It's amazing.
Who is Ben Mintz?
Who is Ben Mintz?
Wait, but in his defense, look at the Yak reply.
It was always Ben Mintz.
But to be like, I'm a household name.
Look at this article.
The Rock is a household name.
Yeah, but I'm a household name and then the title.
Who is Ben Mintz?
Like if you zoom in, it's probably like, you've probably never heard of this guy.
Who is Ben Mintz?
Yeah, he thought he got me on that one.
What's the circulation of the...
Pretty cool drawing.
It is cool. I mean, we can put this to the test. the... Pretty cool drawing. It is cool.
I mean, we can put this to the test.
He looks like a Kennedy.
Maybe one they send off to one of the hospitals and never talk about again.
Uh-huh.
A little Rosemary.
Yeah.
Not fun.
They gave him a lobotomy.
Didn't they do that to one of the Kennedys?
That's a perfect drawing.
I love Ben Mintz. He is one of the candidates that's a perfect drawing I love Ben he's one of the
most unique guys
I've ever been around
yeah
he just sees the
world a different way
somebody photoshop
the top of his head
on a hibachi grill
please
looks like that
looks like a
the onion volcano
the onion volcano
the onion volcano the island the island boys go check out
TravisMatthew.com
Slash Yak
Yak 20
Yak 20
Cause I'm an island boy
Trying to make
A team of friends
I'm a just island boy
Do they have like a genius video yet
Where they break down the lyrics
No they will.
You saw that they also did the Spanish video.
What?
Oh, yeah.
It's like you guys can't sing.
And then they did one of them singing in Spanish.
Can we see it?
That might not even be English as their first language, guys.
They might not be native to the tongue.
That would make sense.
I'm just island boy.
Because it makes sense why their lyrics make no sense.
Syntax?
You talking syntax?
You don't agree with the syntax?
No.
Bro, we need to start getting yoga in this fucking office in the mornings like we're a Silicon Valley tech company.
Yes.
Yes.
We need to loosen up our-
Are you still doing that shit with the- We're some loosen up. Are you still doing that
shit with the
police still doing
Pilates?
Yes bro.
What?
I did it yesterday
morning.
First thing in the
morning.
Damn near.
Damn near Le Mans.
But they turn off the
lights.
It's like modern
Le Mans.
Why don't you just
deadlift?
Yeah.
Stop being a pussy
and start deadlifting.
No.
I need motivation.
I really want to do CrossFit again, but I think I'd get very, very injured.
CrossFit had an incredible run.
When you were doing CrossFit, were you doing those pull-ups?
I was doing everything.
It was crazy pull-ups.
It's genius by CrossFit.
They're like, pull-ups are really hard to do,
so we invented a way that it's not really a pull-up, but you feel like it.
Like, they're not. Like, you just
swing.
I did 500 pull-ups
today.
It was a blast. They convinced you that. They're like, yeah,
you did 500 pull-ups. Yesterday I was trying to do pull-ups, and I did like three.
Yeah, they were the hardest to tap down. Did you like run around the
block and stuff? Yeah, yeah.
The one near me, they're always just running around.
I was an early adopter to CrossFit.
The first one I went to was a meet-up in a park.
It wasn't even a gym.
So is CrossFit just a combination of cardio and weightlifting?
Yeah.
I mean, it's good.
I like it because it is one of those places where I struggle with motivation.
If I go to the gym, I'll just sit there.
You can't go to CrossFit and just sit there. They yell at you.
Thank you.
I'm trying to fight off booze. I need to get angry
in the gym. That's what Rogan says.
Rogan says you gotta lift angry, bro.
What does Rogan have to be angry about?
I ain't never been to Cuba, but
both of my parents are Cuban descent.
They were born in Cuba, so that makes me
Cuban, but I'm American at the same time.
I was born in Florida. I was raised in Cuban, but I'm American at the same time. I was born in Florida.
I was raised in Florida, but I grew up in a Spanish household.
My whole blood, I'm blood related as a Cuban.
So you can't take that away from me.
So I'm an island boy.
Just trying to make it.
That was sultry.
He was sexy.
He fucked me in with his eyes. That was sultry. No sexy He fucked me in with his eyes
That was sultry
No one could take that away from me
Sass sent us a viral
Sass sent us a viral video
Zoom in on Roan
Zoom in on Roan real quick
I'm of Cuban descent
And no one could take that away from me
And boy and no one could take that away from me. Island boy.
Damn old.
Jesus Christ.
That little smirk.
If you weren't sent over the edge,
that little half smirk.
Fucking island boy.
The fuck they mean?
Give us that smirk again.
Damn. Don't do it to him
that's Rone's finishing move
that is
for a TikTok
big time bro
I might be an island boy
I might be of Cuban descent
what the fuck they mean
damn
those are like those
TikTok videos
of like a cop
being like
it's some song and the beat drops
and then they take off their glasses and they're like i'll save you oh yeah yeah
of the cop and it's like the he's like standing there and like supposed to be like jesus like
holding him or something like that but it's like char Manson. It just looks like he's sucking his dick. Yeah. Yeah.
We should all zoom in on everyone.
Let's give the most sultry looks we can do.
It's fun.
It's really fun, Tess.
I'll do it next.
Give me a... Oh, go ahead.
Oh, yeah.
I don't want to go first.
Look at this, bro.
Fuck the camera, bro.
He's going to do his Jerry Seinfeld.
Yeah, that will get him going. That's Jim Halpert's finishing move
Here give it to me
Where am I looking
Which camera
That one
I guess this one
Yeah wait wait
Don't do it yet
Don't do it yet
Don't you do it yet
You don't even notice the camera
Oh fuck
Oh Oh fuck Jeff Bezos
Look at them little kisses
Enough of that
Oh fuck
Oh yeah
He's playing coin He's rolling his eyes He's playing coy
He's rolling his eyes
He's hard to get
Your goofy ass
I'ma just
Oh yeah
Bite that lip
Bite that lip
Bite it
Oh my god
Oh he's actually coming
Oh my god
Oh god
Oh he hasn't been
That's a sultry face
Keep it on him a little bit longer.
Oh, my God.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, there he is.
Keep going.
Come on, Alan.
Yeah, Alan.
Oh, yeah.
Squeeze it.
Oh!
Get it off.
Get it off.
Get it off.
Get it off.
Oh, yeah. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Oh, yeah.
Here we go.
Oh, fuck.
Nick.
Oh, Nick.
Nick.
Oh, the hands.
Because his palms are sweaty because he's horny.
Oh, fuck.
You're the fucking worst.
Oh, no.
I swear.
Now you're the fucking worst.
There's like a whole subculture of TikToks that are just this.
Yeah.
Sass sent us one that's like a lip syncing without moving your mouth. It's just this dude just
looking into the camera. Yeah.
They all do it. Half a million likes.
They put like filters on their eyes to make them more
blue and they're like, you need a savior
babe? I'd always protect you.
If you can say something without
showing your teeth,
if you can say baby without showing your teeth, you're a
flirt or something like that.
You can say baby without showing your teeth, you're a flirt or something like that. If you could say baby without showing your teeth, you're a flirt.
Baby.
How does that work?
It's quite easy.
I like the one where they pronounce phonetically pussy backwards.
It's like...
Are you making up things?
I've never heard of that.
That's not a trend.
Maybe.
It's a Missy Elliott video.
It's your opinion.
TikTok is like shockingly bad.
Every day.
And I download it and I go on it every day now.
I wasn't using it for like six months and now I'm fully back.
And I'm just amazed by the things I see.
They got something for everyone, though.
Yeah, facts.
I see a lot of soccer.
I don't see shit.
Food, besides hot people.
I like recipes.
Looking into the camera.
I'm sending it to you, Zah.
There's an account on Instagram that gets all these.
I had to unfollow it,
because it was making me so uncomfortable.
Why were you following it?
I don't know.
It looked funny.
It looked like one of those.
Because I want to find like a hack where I don't have to go on TikTok.
Just go on Reels.
I can see what's trending on TikTok.
Go on Reels.
It's just people taking TikToks and putting them on TikTok.
But also like a ton of alligator videos.
My Reels are always like a video shop.
Like a bunch of
alligators trying to
bite a tiger or
something.
It's like not even a
real reel.
My reel is just a
bunch of dogs and
people lifting weights.
Booping?
Yeah.
Booping people?
Boops and muscles.
Boops and, yeah.
Two favorite things.
I would love that
account.
I would follow the
shit out of that
account.
Yeah.
Boops and muscles.
You follow Sadiq
Hadzovic? He's like the Bosnian bodybuilder. Yeah. Boobs and muscles. You follow Sadiq Hadzovic?
He's like the Bosnian bodybuilder.
I've been watching his videos.
Sadiq Bey?
Yes, from Villanova.
Mm-hmm.
Wildcats.
Wildcat for life!
He's from Villanova, brother.
Wildcat for life!
Put your head in the game.
Radnor Township.
Bro, don't dox me, bro.
Yeah, pull that up.
The whole thing has it, but the one I sent you is exactly what we were just doing.
I'm trying to make it.
Oh, God.
Somebody's clothes are coming off. Oh, no. I mean he made that
so he looks like that
click on the full account
all of these
this is the one I was following
that I had to unfollow
because it was making me
so uncomfortable
oh this isn't a joke account
no this is a...
Okay, he's just not hot enough to do this.
No, he's really famous.
His lips are just chapped.
I forget what his name is, but he has British...
He's got asshole lips.
No, he has like a twin brother, and they both have like 100 million followers.
His bottom lip's a sphere.
I think he got an injection, yeah.
They're doing a whole...
Ew.
What the fuck was that?
Ew, play it again.
Ew, yeah, yeah.
Play it again.
I want to roast the shit out of this.
I'm going to roast that kid, but I just need to think of material.
Yeah, yeah, let me...
Can we...
I think if we watch it long enough we'll have great material to roast
can we act it out
what are you doing
Troy Savant looking ass
I don't love you for your body
I love you for you
let's go to dinner
I didn't even realize there was text on the screen
oh that's good
it's not about your body
I love you
oh so that was a whole Oh, that's good. It's not about your body. I love you. I love you, too.
Oh!
Okay.
So that was a whole relationship played out there.
I'm not afraid anymore.
After I... The best part about that...
Can you go back to that for a second?
I always want a loyal man until...
To go out.
Oh, damn.
Over.
This is our military?
Demons.
Oh, so this guy's abusive.
I like how
in this role play
she's like,
I'm scared of my body.
And he's like,
no, don't worry about it.
It's fine.
Let's go out
to a big fucking meal.
And then afterwards
she's like,
I feel great.
I ate this burrito and I feel great. I'm not scared anymore.
Yeah, I ate this burrito, and I feel great.
Shitting herself, like, relieved.
Oh, yeah, I'm bloated, but I'm not afraid anymore.
I'm not afraid anymore.
And then he says, it's not about your body.
And she's like, what?
It's not about your fat fucking body.
Get rid of this guy. Get rid of him.
Before I kill myself.
And so that other guy
was like
would you rather
your man be loyal
or just filled to the brim
with demons
yeah you
go ahead and cheat
oh wait
POV
POV
you've been waiting
in my bed all day
for me to come
this is gonna be bad
king is of leon
oh yeah
oh no King is of Leon. Oh, yeah. Oh, no.
What the fuck?
Unless that's a giant bed, she's on a tiny sliver of paper.
She's a throw pillow.
She's been waiting there all day?
She never left?
It's his flesh.
I've been cheating in the bed frame for three days.
I've been just sitting here waiting for you. He just gets in.
That's the physique I want
though. Oh, okay. What I'm striving
for. Okay. Oh, girl, yeah.
Looks like they're waiting in the wing.
Should we do a crossover?
They're not about to bully us off the ball, bro.
I'm just getting started.
Oh, I need some more of those.
Keep pumping those out.
I want to see the wake-up sheeple.
Does Kat want Kat?
Yeah, she's the leader of the Girl Yak.
They are afraid of a citizenry that is fully conscious.
They actually want us to be unconscious.
Oh, no, this is too gross.
We want the hot guys.
We want hot guys.
I mean, under that makeup is a hot guy.
Are you a new Girl Yak?
This is what governments are afraid of.
They're afraid.
Chicks University.
Oh, nice.
Do you want to watch some TikToks of this real quick?
Okay.
And then we'll get out of here.
Oh.
All right, go back.
Tell us if this guy...
Go to the guy climbing on the bed.
Tell us...
Would this guy...
If you saw this TikTok...
It's down.
Would you hit this guy in the DMs?
Now you've been waiting in bed
all day.
And then he gets off work.
Bear crawls. Wow.
Yeah.
That's pretty hot, right?
Yeah.
No, but
honestly,
what do you think
about his physique?
Objectively,
it's a good physique.
Is it the perfect male physique,
like the ideal male physique,
or should he do more abs?
No.
No, no, no, no.
There's too much abs.
He should do more high reps,
high intensity,
not like try to bulk up.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Tone.
I love the underlying
implication of that too, that like the woman can't work. She's just waiting in bed all day for her man to bulk up. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Tone. I love the underlying implication of that too
that like the woman can't work.
She's just waiting in bed all day
for her man to come back.
And the Kings of Leon
just in case you didn't get what was going on.
He's a music fan.
Let's do two more.
Two more.
This is this.
This page has
we can do this forever.
But let's pick wise.
Let's pick the hottest.
Pick the hottest.
Oh, my boy on the left.
Bottom left.
No, we already did that. What about right? Are these all different Pick the hottest. Oh, my boy on the left, bottom left. No, we already did that.
What about right?
Are these all different people?
No.
Oh, this one.
No, babe, I'm leaving on a business trip.
I'd like to see where that storyline goes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's see where...
Uh-oh.
He's pissed.
No, he's pissed.
Oh, what?
Wow.
No.
Danimal?
What?
What the fuck is Danimal?
Wait, she just got...
Wait, so he was cheating?
He got cheated?
He hid?
Babe?
Oh, she walked in on him cheating.
Listen to me.
You're a Danimal.
She threw the towel.
And then the caption is Emotionless acting
I didn't see that fucking coming
So he's the bad guy
Damn
But he makes cheating pretty sexy
Yeah
She called him a Danimal though
Danimal
Am I a Danimal?
Wasn't that a yogurt brand?
You're a Danimal
I am a Danimal
I think it's like a Persian slur
Alright last one
This one's gotta be a winner
A Danimal Alright We gotta find one that's a real great storyline I am a damn animal. I think it's like a Persian slur. All right, last one. This one's got to be a winner.
A damn Persian slur.
All right.
We've got to find one that's a real great storyline.
Hotter, guys.
Hotter, hotter.
Hotter.
Oh, wait.
Big hat on the left.
That's a... Look.
How big's his hat?
When she got a boyfriend.
It's a narrow hat.
Yeah, let's do it.
Oh, my God. got a boyfriend. It's a narrow hat. Yeah, let's do it.
What is that hat?
They can't tell he's cross-eyed with his hat's like that, though.
So it is a joke account.
No. These are real
TikToks.
Yeah, but the account posting the TikToks
is doing it like that.
They are getting them alls. Yeah, but the account posting the TikToks is doing it like that. Yes, they are getting them all together.
Fucking hitting up baseball players.
They're doing the dirty work for you.
They're putting together
the most cringeworthy TikToks.
I'm going to refollow.
He has like a 12-inch head.
That would be awesome if he pulled the hat off
and he has a buzz cut.
It's all head.
Oh, man.
All right. That was a great show
I'm ready to keep pumping through those
I'm hooked
I gotta do
One more?
I gotta do some
Yeah we can do one more
One more
I have to
I don't wanna
I want you guys to go down TikTok without me
You want us to what?
So a guy in the middle or no?
No no
I mean he's jacked
Let's get a good storyline
Two jacks
I want like
It looks like he's putting on a Spider-Man.
I want an M. Night Shyamalan twist.
Break up, break up, break up.
Far left.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go. is in the dirt. Running for your love. Now I want to make it work. I never knew how much heartbreak hurt. Falling like
a snowflake got you in
love.
That's how I comfort all my boys after a break. I'm like,
come on, bro. Let's just go dance.
Dude, he was
falling. Look at those tears.
Bro, don't look at her. Come dance with
me right now. Oh, then the
tears just coming down. Should've danced with the Brodies. He Come dance with me right now. Oh, then the tears just coming down.
Should've danced with the Brodies.
He's a real one for this.
Oh, he should've danced with the skis, bro.
No, I'm fine.
I'm fine, dude.
I'm fine, bro.
One more, one more, one more.
One more.
It's addicting.
We'll do it again tomorrow.
Pick up where we left off.
Who's the guy in the leaves?
Yeah, fuck.
He's a country boy.
Is this a good?
Yeah, all right. You don't think? Wait, the guy in the leaves? Yeah, fuck. Asian country boys. Is this a good? You don't think?
Wait, the guy who said...
I'm riding solo with that red solo cup in my hand.
I'm riding solo with that red solo cup in my hand.
I've never seen less emotion on someone's face before.
Give me one more plot.
I need one more plot.
The guy who said he a real one for this was Greg the Egg from Succession.
Keep scrolling.
Keep scrolling.
Oh, it was?
Uh-oh.
What is that?
An Arizona tea?
No.
Keep going.
I want one where we get nice.
You guys aren't hot enough.
What the fuck is that guy on the left doing?
Are you in hot enough?
Yeah.
I want to be your slave.
What is...
I know that's like a story.
Keep scrolling.
Keep scrolling.
Keep scrolling. We're going to find a good plot. is, I know that's like a story. Keep scrolling, keep scrolling.
We're going to find a good plot.
Oh, the wall, the wall.
Kissing the wall.
Yes, yes.
Oh my God.
I know you're obsessed with me.
I know.
Look how high his nipple is.
Oh my God.
His nipples, his nipples at 9 and 28.
Ew, that one's just gross.
Who's not that funny about that?
Alright. We'll do this tomorrow.
We can't end on that. Everyone find their favorite
one tomorrow. Yeah, tonight's been fun. Tonight's been fun.
This will be the one we end on.
Okay.
Okay. What is it?
Kissing. Kissing.
Question.
Door.
Oh, okay.
Nice.
I have to say the same thing.
Oh!
Yeah!
My boy fucked!
Man.
Everyone pick their favorite ones tomorrow.
God damn it. It makes you kind of fucked. Man. Everyone pick their favorite ones tomorrow. God damn it.
It makes you kind of sick.
Yeah.
It's very uncomfortable.
But also addicting.
Addicting.
I love it.
I'm an island boy.
If you DM them to me on Instagram as you see them,
that would be great.
Okay, perfect.
Yeah, yeah.
All right, see you guys.
I'm an island boy. Instagram as you see them. That'll be great. Okay. Perfect. Yeah. All act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop and do a Yankees pop. It's the act. It's the act.