The Yak - Tacos n Titties (Official) | The Yak 12-1-21

Episode Date: December 2, 2021

Sharp sense demographics from KBYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstooly...ak

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. Core members only. Core Yak guys only. I'm missing the legend. That's the original six, is it not? The original six is what we call us.
Starting point is 00:00:42 We're like Eduardo Saverin, Mark Zuckerberg, the two Winklevosses, and then the two first girls he faced off against one another on the Facebook. That's right. That's us. I'm both Winklevosses in this scenario. Fuck. I thought we were the Bruins, the Red Wings, the Maple Leafs? Yep.
Starting point is 00:00:58 Oh, the original six. Yeah, the... The Rangers? Who, the Canadiens? It's got to be the Canadiens. Were the Canadiens in the original six? Original six. Flyers? No, not Flyers.
Starting point is 00:01:10 Bruins? I think Bruins, yes. I'm from Boston on this show, unfortunately. It's a shame. I'm from Boston. Bro, put some respect on my name. Oh, I forgot. I thought you were a Philly guy, bro.
Starting point is 00:01:24 I am. At, I forgot. I thought you were a Philly guy, bro. I am. At heart. Yeah. You're Eagles, Phillies, Penn State, Vikings. What could possibly make that much of a difference? I don't know. I don't know what it could be. It sounds like the whole building is coming down.
Starting point is 00:01:39 The Bruins, the Blackhawks, the Red Wings, the Canadians, the Rangers, and the Maple Leafs. So we got them. You think Chicago turned out how they hoped it would? No. I think they're very happy with the way it turned out. Really? Yeah, I really do. I don't know if they should.
Starting point is 00:01:53 I'm just saying I think they're very pleased with the way it turned out. A fun fact about Chicago is they're one of the only, if not the only city with garages. Car holes. Yeah. That is true. That is a fun fact. I can't believe it. But they really thought they did something when they made Chicago. They really did. They thought they fucking snapped when they made Chicago.
Starting point is 00:02:18 They kind of did though. They kind of snapped, but I think in the back of their mind, they thought it was going to be something bigger than it was. When it was part of the original six, that was like, oh, we're going to put a hockey franchise here before everything, before anywhere. Yeah, but you know how the original six, they thought they were the swinging dicks. They looked down on Boston back then.
Starting point is 00:02:36 That's what I mean, and I think they thought that they were going to kind of rise to this level of supremacy, and sure, it's Midwestern supremacy. Does Montreal still belong in that six? No. I'm not sure in that six? No. I'm not sure Montreal really panned out. You don't think so? Except for the prostitutes. Yeah, the prostitutes.
Starting point is 00:02:52 We get Lenny Balls in here. The wishy-washies in Montreal. We'll leave Lenny Balls on the fucking shelf. Do you guys see this guy's vlog set up? It's on his shoulder. He's got a camera attached to his shoulder. It's a live stream. Oh, he's live streaming Twitch. So's got a camera attached to his shoulder. It's a live stream. Oh, he's live streaming Twitch.
Starting point is 00:03:06 So it's a computer, basically, he's holding. For the sake of sensitivity, what's his name? I have no idea. I think it's Arab. I think his name's just Arab. Oh, is that who that is? Is it A-R-Ab, maybe? I think it might be A-R-Ab.
Starting point is 00:03:20 If that's who that is, it's Arab. Yeah, that's who that is. Is he a big streamer? Yeah. He's just coming in here dunking on us on some IRL shit. TJ, how was the Rutgers game? It was pretty good. You went into that with a clear head, nothing bothering you?
Starting point is 00:03:34 All things considered, a good day. It looked awesome. It was awesome. I appreciate the hospitality from the fam over at Rutgers. Ron knows that environment well. We stormed over there. What did Ron Harper go for last night, 23-9? Yep.
Starting point is 00:03:50 That boy's fucking good. Is he the son of the? Yes. Oh. Five-time NBA champion. Five-time NBA champion. I'll be. Is that right?
Starting point is 00:03:59 Three with the Bulls and two with the Lakers. How was that? What was that? That was awesome. He was doing Booker T. Oh, is that what? That was awesome. He was doing Booker T. Oh, is that what it was? Yeah, he was doing Booker T. It was good.
Starting point is 00:04:08 I didn't know you were a wrestling guy. Did you get turned out to wrestling by... Well, he looks like I'm in Booker T. There we go. That's a joke on Troops TV. They call me little Booker T. They love wrestling. I grew up a massive wrestling fan.
Starting point is 00:04:23 Did you really? Yeah. Can you give Sass and KB one five-time? Five-time, five-time, five-time, five-time, five-time WCW champion. Can you do a Spinneroni? I used to be able to. I'm too fat now. I clocked the scale at 163 pounds the other day.
Starting point is 00:04:41 Oh, you're fat a little bit. That's the heaviest I've ever been in my life. You have Spider by 53 pounds. Yeah, you fat little bitch. That's the heaviest I've ever been in my life. You have spider by 53 pounds. Yeah, that a lot. Wow. What the fuck? You did look stout
Starting point is 00:04:53 as a running back. Honestly, there's been there's definitely been NFL players who weighed less than you. Who is that really light guy? Donnell Pumphrey.
Starting point is 00:05:02 He was like 140 pounds. Less than 163 pounds in NFL play. I'm sure there's cornerbacks that are Donnell Pumphrey? He was like 140 pounds or something? Less than 163 pounds in NFL play? I'm sure there's cornerbacks that are a little lighter. Donnell Pumphrey was less. Or fucking Devontae Smith damn near. Yeah. I remember Rice had a little running back, about 4'5". Well, how much does Tyreek Hill weigh?
Starting point is 00:05:17 No, you're right. That guy was tiny. Oh, my God. How the fuck did you remember that? I remember short running. They had a 4'5 running back. I don't remember his name, but he was ridiculous. I wouldn't even be in the top 50 shortest Division I FBS running backs.
Starting point is 00:05:35 I looked at every roster. Wow. Every roster right now? You looked at every roster for that? Not even historically? I would just scan in the heights. Historically or just now? Right now, Roan.
Starting point is 00:05:45 Jesus Christ. In the present tense. Holy fuck. Yeah, dude. They sneak tiny guys onto football teams. But this one was exceptionally tiny. Four or five? Can we pull up his highlight?
Starting point is 00:05:56 Jason Carter with a Y. Jason Carter. Was he stout? He was 4'9", 140 pounds. Did he start? No. He played. He got one of those homecoming special needs plays.
Starting point is 00:06:10 You're right. He got a special carry in the Hawaii Bowl. Why do you know all this? I hope he's doing well. Kyle, if you ditched some of the knowledge you had, you could probably learn Mandarin. That's a fact. That's easily a fact. I kind of want to watch a little bit of him.
Starting point is 00:06:27 I don't know if he's got highlights. A little bit. I want to watch everything he has to offer. I saw a trick play yesterday. You always have the interstate. In Hawaii. The players, they all knew each other from high school. You're going to be able to tell
Starting point is 00:06:42 which one he is. He's obscured. Oh, God. Look at him. Not quite. I thought he burst it for a touchdown or something. Oh, no. They helped him out.
Starting point is 00:06:53 Oh, man. God. Oh. Don't feel bad for him. He ate in high school. He, like, earned his walk-on. Yeah, he definitely was a beast in high school. There's no doubt in my mind.
Starting point is 00:07:04 He was Texas 13A Division 4 state champion. His first carry was for negative yards? Uh, yeah. His only carry. Was that his only? It wasn't like too pathetic, though. No. It didn't really help him much. But that's why when people are like, I could get a fucking yard
Starting point is 00:07:20 if you just put me in there. No, you fucking couldn't. Those hypotheticals are... Who did we just pan to? I don't know, but the security guy's just over there eating. People are always like, do you catch that pass? Like, no, I wouldn't catch that pass. I suck. The people who say they can make a basket in the NBA.
Starting point is 00:07:34 Yeah, or, dude, there was a, oh, just heave it up. I think the worst one is the people who think they can get a hit in Major League Baseball. Yeah, the Philly media guy, Elliot Shore-Parks, he was like, I could luck into a home run. A home run? What? You can't.
Starting point is 00:07:49 You absolutely can't. You didn't hit a home run at any level, and you're not about to luck into a home run. If I got a foul tip after 100 pitches, I would be excited. Yeah, I would be overjoyed. It would hurt my hands. Yeah, every single time I made contact, it hurt my hands. And that's with anything. Golf club, hockey stick. When you would hurt my hands. Every single time I made contact, it hurt my hands. And that's with anything.
Starting point is 00:08:06 Golf club. Hockey stick. When did you talk about your hands? They're feeble. Did you see everybody dropping back yesterday? I love the replies. Oh, it's perfect bait. I intentionally had bad form for the algorithm.
Starting point is 00:08:21 Yeah, thank you. I saw you. You did one with perfect, like, perfect form, and we were like, no, no, no. No, that won't work. That's not it at all, Nick. But that's really what had me thinking that Zoc would actually...
Starting point is 00:08:32 What a bunch of bozos in this office. I love how, like, from the commenter's perspective, they're mad that we're not athletic because we work for a sports company. Zoc, though! Zoc climbed the pocket! Zoc!
Starting point is 00:08:49 Bob Fox Trent Happy These look like that actor That was throwing on that That show The movie Someone pushed that Oh yeah So funny
Starting point is 00:08:58 Ebony driving it back She just bounced She had a little Mahomes Wrist action to her Of course she throws With the left hand Yeah What was that? She had a little Mahomes wrist action to her. Of course, he throws with the left hand. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:08 What was that? That's a little carry-up. The release. Oh, that was quick. Off the back foot, though. And that's fucking... That wasn't bad. Oh, that's too serious. Look at him climb the pocket.
Starting point is 00:09:24 That's not bad. Oh, that's too serious. Look at him climb the pocket. That's a climb. Oh! Oh, shit. Yes. Fuck, yeah. Lenny's was pretty good. Based off of what knowledge? Just his form looks better than everyone else's.
Starting point is 00:09:41 I think Gravity just did the work on his. We got to do a part two. That was bad. You guys never played quarterback. Play the baseball one. I think Gravity just did the work on his. We got to do a part two. That was bad. You guys never played quarterback. Play the baseball one. I love that one. Yeah, everybody swings. That's the one where you were shockingly good, right?
Starting point is 00:09:51 Yeah, it was nice. That's why I love it. Sneaky athlete. I got to do more of those. I got to think of, give me like kind of a big. Just do some crossovers. Like golf swing or like fucking free throw form. Or heavy bag.
Starting point is 00:10:03 Yeah, punch, punch, head hitting a heavy bag. That's fucking good. How'd that do on the talk? Shadow box. Better on Twitter than on the talk, to be honest. I should have put it at part two, part three. We're getting bogged down in analytics, though.
Starting point is 00:10:16 I gotta fucking beat that algorithm like fucking Rocky, bro. I will, though. I'm gonna beat the fuck out of that algorithm. You're still riding that high from the Lettuce Club video? Oh, bro. How many views did that end up getting? Two billion
Starting point is 00:10:28 That's not a joke Everyone saw it Everybody in the world Everyone on earth Everyone saw it Strangely That Mr. Beast video got like 110 million views in like a day Wow
Starting point is 00:10:42 Is that Pokey Reese's batting stance? Yes Look at this That ain't bad Like a day. Wow. Is that Pokey Reese's batting stance? Yes. Okay. Look at this. That ain't bad. And he works at Barstool Sports, dude. That's a little waggle.
Starting point is 00:10:58 You can tell what time this is because of Sass's sweater. So that's anywhere between early 2020 and early 2021. Guard in that strike zone. Choked up. He's got a bunt. Oh, no. Just swung like that. That was for average. Dugs.
Starting point is 00:11:17 I remember Dugs. See Dugs in a minute. Bang. There you go, Brandon. Some serious power there. I'm a great player. Nice. Nice, Nick.
Starting point is 00:11:36 Look at this. Run it again. Look when you were skinny. You weren't eating back then. No. Put on a good 40 pounds since then. Straight to the stomach. Show your stomach.
Starting point is 00:11:47 Yeah. I was saying to Rowan that I'm 80% stomach right now. I don't think that's true. He's dwarfed by stomach. You have body dysmorphia. Because sometimes you think you're jacked, and then sometimes you think you're fat. I know, but the body dysmorphia where you think you're jacked is a lot more fun. He's walking around confident.
Starting point is 00:12:07 He's bipolar, which is sweet, which is dope. I fucking love my bipolar homies. When you asked for a chain check, I put my camera on timer mode and did like 30 shirtless with the chain on. Really? Why didn't you send it? I have body dysmorphia. When I look in the mirror at my shirtless body, I'm like, I'm jacked. But when I look at a picture, it's not quite there.
Starting point is 00:12:31 Your dysmorphia has basis, though. If you look at a lowering the bar from around this time last year, you had a puffy face. Yeah, I was fat. But why did you have to have a fucking jacked picture to send to the three of us doing a chain share? Just in case you posted it on something. A, you did a torso reveal on here in a day that we weren't in. But I took five screenshots of it that day. And you looked jacked that day.
Starting point is 00:12:59 Yeah, you look really jacked. And it wasn't mirror. Shirtless and jeans is near impossible to pull off. And you did it. Yeah, you had no muffin. You had no muffin. You didn't have a belly button. I disagree with that.
Starting point is 00:13:07 I think shirtless in jeans makes you look better than you really are shirtless. Oh, really? I think the jeans makes you look better. Ken Jack had this theory. The hardest look to pull off for a man is shirt, no pants. Winnie the Pooh. You can't look cool. You can't look jacked.
Starting point is 00:13:24 You have to have a real long, skinny one. You got to have a ribbon penis. You can't look cool You can't look jacked It's just Sure Yeah you You have to have A real long skinny one You gotta have A ribbon penis That's just dangling Flapping in the wind
Starting point is 00:13:33 Cause too thick That's damning What'd you guys What's that Spotify rap Look like for you boys Sass we saw yours Yeah Posted it
Starting point is 00:13:43 Had to Had to Salute Mine was the exact same as last year. All the same artists. Really? Yeah. What was your voice? All the same?
Starting point is 00:13:51 All the same. Mine was fucked up because my kids also use mine. Yeah. My outcast didn't show up this year. It's always outcast number one, but this year it was George Strait and Dixie Chicks because my daughter listens to mine now. Yeah, I saw that. If you use Alexa, too, it can, like, fuck up your...
Starting point is 00:14:07 If someone in your family uses, like, Alexa, it happened to my sister. It, like, fucked up her. So, like, she's got, like, John Denver and James Taylor as her number one. Outrageous. She doesn't listen to them. That's your number one anyway, right? No. My number one was a band.
Starting point is 00:14:19 The lead singer's a goblin. Actual goblin. Hey, what about the trio from Canada? My number one's a band Called Necro Goblicon Sounds cool No Look I wish we could play some We just simply can't
Starting point is 00:14:35 What was yours Ron? Who is the trio from Canada You told me about? Rush? Haim? No No it's a It's a boy band
Starting point is 00:14:42 Oh yeah B4-4 B4-4 Yeah B-4-4. Yeah, I love those guys, too. Are they three-year-olds? No, no, no. That's why they're called that. Why?
Starting point is 00:14:50 Because there's three of them. Two of them are twins. What the fuck? And one of them's a bad boy. He's always giving the finger. One of the twins is a bad boy? Yes. That's how you have to separate yourself.
Starting point is 00:15:02 I didn't know if one of the third guys, if the third guy was the bad boy. No. The suggested song for the beginning of the year, I tweeted it, is like, it's that Suck Your Own Dick song. When did we, did we play that on here? It was a Friday vibe. Oh, yeah. If you want to be slick, you got to suck your own dick.
Starting point is 00:15:20 That one. I don't know how that. You talked about. Suck Your Own Dick? The wall, the mural behind us. Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck. You and the boss will be covered in murals.
Starting point is 00:15:31 I miss that mural. Yeah, fuck. What did they do with that? Just burn it? Paint it over it? Paint it over it? Really? Why? Why would they have to burn it? I don't know. This wall wouldn't be here if they burn it. Serious? Jesus Christ. That's louder than the last. Boys, they're just doing their jobs.
Starting point is 00:15:48 What do you want them to do? What is their job? Building a railroad? Is that John Henry up there? Do you think they're purposely trying to annoy us? No, I don't think that. I am curious of what makes that rumble. From what I've seen upstairs, it looks like they're just building out one tiny little area.
Starting point is 00:16:04 So I don't know why the whole building would be shaking. That sounds like destruction right there, not construction. Are you a stoic, KB? Shit doesn't bother you, huh? You could just be eating your little baguette at a bistro. Someone could open fire and you'd be like, they're just shooting. Let me just fucking live. Well, yeah, let me live my last days.
Starting point is 00:16:24 Are you a stoic? No. You might be a stoic. I feel like being a stoic is popular as fuck right now. Nah, Taoism is the new thing. Really? Maybe I'm missing the wave by a notch on stoicism because I think that I've seen a lot of people talking about the way of the stoic
Starting point is 00:16:38 and quoting Marcus Aurelius and shit. Like he's a hot new fucking name. Strong, silent type. Yeah. So you are a fucking stoic, bro. You been reading Aurelius? Edie Falco and Michael Imperioli are Hindus,
Starting point is 00:16:56 I think. On God? On Vishnu? On Vishnu. Holy fuck. I could get into Hinduism. They got that shit figured out. Also, Indian folk have their religion figured out. What are they into? Hinduism.
Starting point is 00:17:12 Hinduism? That's Hinduism. All Indian folk? But India has so many religions. Yeah. Thousands there. And cast. I guess they don't have a lot of fucking people in India.
Starting point is 00:17:22 Yeah. We give China credit for all the people they have. But India's got a shit ton, too. India's normalized the one rupee street massage, which needs to come here quick. We need to get the one rupee street massage stat. What is it? They just rub you down and nobody bats an eye. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:17:39 Yeah, I saw that on YouTube. Yeah. The one rupee street massage? And you are very close to being hit by cars. They lay you right down in the street. Can I see it? Can we pull it up on YouTube. Yeah. The one rupee street massage. And you are very close to being hit by cars. They lay you right down in the street. Can I see it? Can we pull it up on YouTube? It's YouTube videos
Starting point is 00:17:48 of the one rupee street massage? Yeah. I think this might be in the same vein as the ostrich video. This might get us taken down. You strip? That's fine.
Starting point is 00:17:55 No, you don't strip. Do you have to strip? No. I think they'll copyright claim our stream, though. What do they... Do you get a back rub? Are you just clothed?
Starting point is 00:18:03 They always tug your arms. Are there any little delis? Like little Mumbai's? Are there any Indian neighborhoods in the city? Jamaica Queens is very Indian. New New Delhi? Jamaican Queens? Jamaica Queens?
Starting point is 00:18:18 Jamaican Queens. My mind is on Jamaican Queens and wife and wife. Cuffing one up. Wife and wife. You do need a Jamaican queen. You could be a white yardie. Indians are chill as fuck. Indians?
Starting point is 00:18:34 Yeah, they're like family wide walks at like midnight. I like how they cut in line like it's nobody's business. They'll just stand in front of you in line and it's just like, all right, you should have been standing closer to the person in front of you. Is that a negative stereotype? Sounds like it. Is it front of you in line, and it's just like, all right, you should have been standing closer to the person in front of you. Is that a negative stereotype? Sounds like it. Is it? Cutting in line? Did that just happen to you once?
Starting point is 00:18:51 Yeah. No, this is all Indians. I like how Indians cut in line. This is all high five from us. I cut in line. You wanted us to sign off on it, too. I'm a line cutter. I don't know if that's a stereotype.
Starting point is 00:19:01 I'm a habitual line cutter. I'll, like, cut someone off in traffic. And then you get cut off once, and you put it on the whole Indian people? I'm saying I if that's a stereotype. I'm a habitual line cutter. I'll cut someone off in traffic. And then you get cut off once and you put it on the whole Indian people? I'm saying I admire that trait. If there's a line in the airport and there's a break and somebody's lunching, fucking not paying attention, I'll get right in that line. So you're an asshole. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:19:17 Yeah. But I don't think it's an asshole quality. I think it's an efficient quality and you take advantage of loopholes in the system of people not paying attention. And I respect that. I think in traffic you can do it. I take advantage of loopholes in the system of people not paying attention, and I respect that. I think in traffic you can do it. I'm not sure you can do it on foot. Watch me. Yeah, go cut today.
Starting point is 00:19:33 I'll cut anybody. I'll cut myself. Watch me. I admire it as a trait. An emo kid just intentionally going to the back of the line. Oh, man. I heard a battle rap line this weekend. A guy said that he's got coke so white that it cuts itself.
Starting point is 00:19:51 Damn. I'm dying. That's a bar. That's a fucking bar. Owen, are you on antibiotics today, my dog? No, but I was sick this weekend. Fuck. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:04 What flavor? I don't know they just said it wasn't covid the flu or strep so they just said that seems like what we say that's what i think yeah that's what we say now when we get sick we don't say what it is we say it's not covid yeah and it's way more respectable even though it's probably we no longer say what what our actual sickness is yeah you observation roasting him yeah you definitely heard that shit at the fucking uh the cellar one night or something one observation what i can try what did i hear at the cellar bro some a joke like brandon's i did no but i actually do agree that is very true yes i also agree that it's very true people don't give a fuck what you have unless you have COVID.
Starting point is 00:20:46 When it could be equally contagious. Sash, your pants are depressingly wrinkled. Yeah, I know. I didn't really know that until I came in. But this angle, they don't look too bad. Can we get a zoom? When they were on the floor, they looked more wrinkled. They look real.
Starting point is 00:20:57 It's specifically this one. That leg is wrinkled. Where was it? Where'd you get those? Where you been? Oh, they were in my room. Oh, that's bad. Oh, that's fucked. Are they stinky? KB, smell been? Oh, they were in my room Oh, that's bad Oh, that's fucked
Starting point is 00:21:06 Are they stinky? KB, smell them No, they're not I smelled them before Smell the base Sass's room has I looked this up 3% of all Jack Link's
Starting point is 00:21:15 Beef jerky bags You've been there Now I'm off the jerky You're off Well, yeah They're just still there Yeah Because you've eaten all of it
Starting point is 00:21:22 I know There just is no more jerky I didn't realize that Beef jerky has, like, ridiculous amounts of sodium in it. Sure, no sodium, yeah. Really? Yeah. How did you not know that? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:21:31 How do you think they jerky it? I don't know. How do you think that they preserve meat? I mean, I've come to a conclusion that, like, everything good has just a ton of sodium in it. You've been coming to too many conclusions. Yeah, I know. Rethinking a lot of stuff. Was it definitely a conclusion?
Starting point is 00:21:44 Was it a realization? It was both. What was your hypothesis before resulting that it didn't have a lot of sodium in it and it was proven wrong? Dude, what about a saltless turkey?
Starting point is 00:21:54 It's got like 3,000 grams of sodium. Yeah. 110% of your daily in like one stick. Rowan's always got biltong on deck. Yeah. I keep a biltong tree
Starting point is 00:22:05 in my backyard. I fucking make it fresh. I'll just slap some fresh meat up there and you can biltong anything. Can you biltong anything? You can biltong any meat. I don't know
Starting point is 00:22:13 what that word is. It's just meat dried in the sun that you throw in a tree. Am I lying? Zah, what's biltong, Zah? How would you classify it?
Starting point is 00:22:22 It's, I guess our version of jerky, but a little healthier. So it's pretty much just straight up salt. How do you know it? It's, I guess, our version of jerky, but a little healthier. So it's pretty much just straight up salt. How do you know it's healthier? Because we don't put anything but salt on it. Salt and you just dry it.
Starting point is 00:22:33 And what do you just like hang it in the tree? Yeah, you just put a brick of salt, a fist of salt on the meat, and you just put it on top of your roof for like a week. You just lay it on the roof. Like a solar panel. Tacos and Titties official is sending us hats. Yes!
Starting point is 00:22:48 There's an account that KB follows called Tacos and Titties. Tacos and Titties official. Give them a follow. How many followers do they have? Tell them I sent you.
Starting point is 00:22:56 What's this payola? This payola shit. Are you doing payola right now? I ain't doing payola. It sounds like payola. It sounds like somebody's jamming money in your pocket so you can eat. They're next up.
Starting point is 00:23:07 Are they? How many followers do they have? 1,400. Not enough. 1,400? 2,700. Let's get them to 3K. This is Instagram, not Twitter?
Starting point is 00:23:17 It's Instagram. Let's show equal love to the tacos and the titties. Yes. And I've noticed, Kyle, I saw you like to titty post. I did like the titties. For every titty post Kyle likes, he likes two taco posts. And that's what you noticed, Kyle, I saw you like to titty post. I did like the titty. For every titty post Kyle likes, he likes two taco posts.
Starting point is 00:23:27 And that's what you do. It's like when you cut down a tree. I just follow tacos and titties. Follow for the best tacos and best titties.
Starting point is 00:23:35 Then they're not wrong. Do you guys want to try and play the game? Tacos look... These are great tacos. You want to play the game? You're not going to talk about the titties?
Starting point is 00:23:42 Oh, yeah. So me and Kyle play this game called Tacos or Titties. You click one, you have to guess which. Oh, yeah. I want to play that. Well, those not going to talk about the titties? Oh, yeah. So me and Kyle play this game called Tacos or Titties. You click one, and you have to guess which. Oh, yeah. I want to play that. Well, those are tacos.
Starting point is 00:23:49 That's tacos, yeah. Boy, there's some curveballs. That's titties. That is indeed titties. But the titties aren't the focal point. Anis Paul had sent me. Yeah, we talk about tacos and titties a lot. But we did find something.
Starting point is 00:24:01 Look at that. Neither. And that's what they like to do to you every once in a while. Oh, wow. That's just queso. And that's what they like to do to you every once in a while. Oh, wow. That's just queso. And that's quesadilla. Oh, that's a taco bowl. It's a great looking meal.
Starting point is 00:24:10 There is something we need to get to the bottom of. And Kyle, should we do it right now? Yeah, I think we can. Click on the third post. Fourth now. Fourth. Oh, fifth. Fifth.
Starting point is 00:24:20 Yeah, mesita. And why don't you go ahead and scroll right. This has been my favorite page, my favorite niche page for years. Go again. That's Frankie Borelli. What's he doing on Talks and Titties Official? Dude, I know. I know.
Starting point is 00:24:37 And now Frankie's on Talks and Titties Official. Should we get him in? I invented them. I founded them. Everybody's tagged, but Frankie's on it. I think he untagged himself from Tacos and Titties. Can you go get Frankie? And can you scroll away and not tell him what we're doing
Starting point is 00:24:49 and kind of let him come to that conclusion on his own? So that was a little twist we found on Tacos and Titties official. That there's Frankie. Have you guys ever seen Ass Galaxy? Ass Galaxy? And it's like pictures of ass and pictures of astronauts. And you have to kind of pick which one. Is it like super zoomed in?
Starting point is 00:25:09 No, it's just kind of like this. It's just like a picture of John Glenn or a picture of a bulbous ass. And it's a similar concept. I didn't realize that there's kind of a subsect of crossover accounts that have a little bit of knowledge or foodie stuff and a little bit of titties or a little bit of ass, a little TNA.
Starting point is 00:25:29 We should do a yak Instagram where it's either a yak quote or just a picture of a pussy. A gate. Just fully spread. Yeah, that sounds real nice. Wait, so how are we going to play this Borelli thing?
Starting point is 00:25:45 We're going to show him. Just ask if he's ever seen the page. I don't know. Did he start on the page or the picture? Let's see the page first. Okay. Just have the page up. We'll just randomly have the page up.
Starting point is 00:25:57 Yeah. He's going to have to fucking answer. He's going to have to answer some shit for this. Also, big homo. Homeowner. He's a big homeowner. Oh, yeah. He's going to have to answer some shit for this. Also, big homo. Homeowner. He's a big homeowner. He's a huge homeowner. He just bought a house. He just bought
Starting point is 00:26:11 a fucking fat, big house. Walking closet. 0.5 acres. Jacuzzi in the backyard. What's the address? Nobarelli. Nobarelli? He's probably chilling at his house. He honestly probably is chilling at his house. He honestly probably is chilling at his house. A fucking nice-ass house.
Starting point is 00:26:29 Do you hear this? Frankie Borelli has a fucking jacuzzi in his backyard. He's sitting on a fucking half acre, and he's got a walk-in closet. Did he get handed the house? I don't like that. No, he grinded his ass off and lived at home. Homeowner. Yeah. Homeowner.
Starting point is 00:26:42 Jim Parsons. Oh, fuck. No, I can't wait to go to Frankie's place. I'm going to bring a bunch of wands if I want to sip of water. Housewarming. We're going to have a housewarming party for Frankie Borelli at his house. And it's going to be fantastic. I'm just going to keep looking at the tacos.
Starting point is 00:27:09 Yeah, I guess we can pull the count back up. We're not going to switch. They need more taco engagement. No, no, no. TJ, we need more taco engagement. Feedback on the taco. That's not a taco. Do their titty posts do better than their taco? That's a queso fundido. We have noticed that the titties do perform better than the taco. That's not a taco. There was no titties in that. Did their titty posts do better than their taco?
Starting point is 00:27:25 That's a queso fundido. So we have noticed that the titties do perform better than the tacos. We've been monitoring the growth of the account. That's the titties, for example. But here we have the tacos. No comments. Wait, wait. What's your guys' favorite taco?
Starting point is 00:27:39 The burritos. So their first post, would you like to guess if it's a taco or a titty? Well, that's a taco. Well, that's not their first post. I you like to guess if it's a taco or a titty? Well, that's a taco. Well, that's not their first post. I'd say taco. How far back are they? I'd say it starts with a taco. It starts with a taco, as it should.
Starting point is 00:27:51 It starts with tacos. I've seen a lot of ass, which is where it's throwing me off. Well, the ass is the titties. That was definitely ass right there, yes. Now that. I'm seeing a lot of just only ass. And the butthole is the nipple of the back. Yes, that's right
Starting point is 00:28:05 The areola Areola A lot of birria wow Easy on the birria Maybe a little mahi You can tell You can see the stage where they had to overcome some adversity It's just a black box
Starting point is 00:28:19 They did post a black square They did post a black square That's the first post. That's not even a great picture of tacos. They could have turned the orientation, but that's definitely their picture. That's a homemade picture. They were so excited about those.
Starting point is 00:28:34 This was March 25th, 2020. How'd they go out to a restaurant? You haven't been following them for years. Yeah, but I was when they were founded, I was I stamped it. Right when COVID started, they decided to start a Tacos and Titties account. That's what they need. What do the hats look like?
Starting point is 00:28:50 They were confused with the orientation, but as was I with my own until I followed this path. You sorted it all out. After seeing one taco, you realize you were gay. My favorite part is you would go into a Tacos and Titties account expecting to see some senoritas, some Latina queens and their titties. No, it's only white
Starting point is 00:29:14 women. When we first followed it, it was just Tacos and Titties, but then a few unofficial accounts started popping up. They had to add official to the name. This is the official Tacos and Titties account. There are unofficial accounts? popping up. Yeah, now they had to add official to the name. What do you mean? And so this is the official Tacos and Titties account. There are unofficial accounts? There are fake accounts, yes.
Starting point is 00:29:29 They were stealing valor out here? Brandon, do you follow them? I just did. They all did. I just did. I'm going to throw them a follow right now. I announced it when I did it. Oh, they're about to be at 3K.
Starting point is 00:29:40 What do their hats look like, though? I think... Wearable? Or were you just... Does it have a picture of tacos or titties? I think it just says tacos and titties. That's what my guess would be. I might have to make them a new logo.
Starting point is 00:29:50 I'd like to get two hats. One taco, one titty. What should the tacos and titties logo be? Wow, you're the logo guy. Tacos shaped like titties? A busty taco? Yeah, maybe a busty-ass taco. Like two tacos like this?
Starting point is 00:30:04 Like holding tacos like you would hold a titty? Have you guys looked at the boomerangs? How do you hold a titty? I do it from the top. I do it like a stinky sock. Like a pair of swim trunks that I'm about to throw into the dirty clothes. Have you guys looked at the boomerangs on the road? Sorry, what boomerangs?
Starting point is 00:30:28 Top of titties don't get enough love. Yeah, no one wants to see top titties. Well, I guess cleavage, they have a whole name for it. Yeah, that's a brand. But side titty, under titty, those have all had a renaissance in the last 10 to 15. I think seatbelt titty is next up. When the seatbelt goes between the two titties. I think seatbelt titty is next up. When the seatbelt goes between the two titties.
Starting point is 00:30:46 I don't think it's on deck. I think there's people who... That's the cousin of purse titty. Purse titty where you have the strap going through. Seatbelt is the evolution of that. We're man-bagged titty.
Starting point is 00:30:56 They're clutches, so we've lost that. Yeah, that ruins that. The fucking clutch. What are the boomerangs, though? I was just wondering if you guys saw the boomerangs on their page.
Starting point is 00:31:06 No, I haven't. Very sexual. Oh, no. And tacos and titties are involved in all of them. Really? All in one. Sour cream.
Starting point is 00:31:13 Just dumping some guac down the front. Some pico de gallo. The boomerangs are up top. Wait, you pussies didn't say what your favorite tacos were. Oh, there's tacos on that page? Yeah, what's she doing?
Starting point is 00:31:28 Oh, that is sexual. All right, I guess she could handle me. All right. Okay, tacos. And we got both. What's that, calamari? Is that a calamari taco? Did they put an onion ring on a taco?
Starting point is 00:31:49 What the fuck? They should put onion rings around tacos to keep them together. Can we just have that one playing the whole time? Put the fucking onion ring on top of the taco? How? How is that going to work? Onion rings are inconvenient. You also have to hold an onion ring firmly to make sure it doesn't fall apart.
Starting point is 00:32:07 Yeah, that's what I mean. Much like a taco. You bite it and it strings apart. I feel like there's too much structural, a lack of integrity structurally for you to be able to put an onion ring on top of a taco. Favorite tacos. That is a good one. I'm trying to think. I like the Indian ones from Taco Mahal. Oh, what kind of those?
Starting point is 00:32:25 Taco Mahal? Tikka Mas kind of those? Taco Mahal? A tikka masala taco, and it's just wrapped in naan instead of... There's nothing taco about it. You guys are just not talking tacos anymore. It's from Taco Mahal. Dude, but anything's a taco. If you really fucking look at it. Anything's a fucking sandwich if you fucking look at it right.
Starting point is 00:32:38 Come on. I like carne asada, and I also like fish tacos, but I need it filleted, though. I don't want to fucking, like, crumbles of fish. Do you like a good shrimp taco? I do, but I like it, but I don't love it. Y'all know I've been on my barbacoa tip. For real? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:53 I'm an al pastor guy. Oh, that's what I meant, not carne asada. That's pork, right? Yeah, al pastor is the best. When they shave it off of the fucking spit. Come on, now. I like a good steak taco. I had the best taco I had in New York City in Chinatown two weeks ago.
Starting point is 00:33:05 Shut up. Duck? No. It was just a regular... No. Duck? Goose. Is that what you were going for?
Starting point is 00:33:13 No, I was just thinking duck, duck, goose. You've been on a big duck wave. I'm on a duck wave. And you don't use silverware when you eat it. When I eat duck? No.
Starting point is 00:33:18 It's like a wing. You have a lot of waves going on. Spearheaded by Islam. I'm going to get waves in my head. You should. We should be wavy one episode. It's going to take a while. It's going to take a lot of do-rag time for the boys to get waves.
Starting point is 00:33:34 Nah, double up. You couldn't tie it tight enough, though. Me? You're notoriously bad not-tire. Can't loop, swoop, and pull. Or bunny ears. I can't. I know. I for sure watched aop, and pull. Or bunny ears. I can't. I know.
Starting point is 00:33:46 I for sure watched a YouTube video of a white dude getting waves. Can we see a white guy wave check? Wave check videos, they had their fucking day, and they were some of the best videos. Just the excitement. I still love a haircut video. A good haircut video is great. But the wave check where it's like a big assass group of people and they're all taking off their... They're all popping off
Starting point is 00:34:06 their do-rags. Gassing each other up like... You know, the ones I love too are the ones where they comb the waves back. Like they ruin them.
Starting point is 00:34:15 Can we get a yak do-rag in the store? Who could get the waviest in here? Do we have anybody that could get wavy? Sass with waves would be hilarious. You might underneath that. I do.
Starting point is 00:34:30 What would you do if I just pulled? I was thinking it would be funny if one day I just pulled it back and there's just no hair. I'm just completely bald here. Except the only hair is behind my head. Just shoot. She's got the Todd Packer. The horseshoe. It would be legendary. You truly would be a fucking legend
Starting point is 00:34:49 Um Pop Punk this Friday Connecticut Um Are you sharp? No We had practice Yesterday we had practice today
Starting point is 00:34:59 We're gonna get sharp tonight Did you add a new member Or is that Nick Hamilton Nick Hamilton is in the fucking mix now. That's dope. KFC radio producer and all around very hardworking guy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:11 He's the one who's here. Hardest worker in the building. And that's fucking facts, bro. Not a fucking ounce of cap on that. Granted, that's not saying much. Nobody fucking works hard around here. But when I come in here at like 1250 and I'm like headed out right after the act, I still see him here. What are you doing?
Starting point is 00:35:31 Burning the candle at both ends. He's fucking addicted to the grind. We need to have an intervention for him, bro. But yeah, he fucking loves it. And he's a very dope and multi-talented musician. He's going to really round it out. What does he plan? A little keyboard. Oh. And a little guitar. Oh. So's going to really round it out. What does he plan? A little keyboard and a little guitar.
Starting point is 00:35:48 So we're going to have two guitars. Like a little guitar? A very tiny guitar. Like a Hawaiian. What's the word of that? Yooka-Laylee? Yooka-Laylee. He's playing Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
Starting point is 00:35:58 That's beautiful. Ron, you still got the safety on that lighter? You don't smoke weed. I don't even think this is my lighter. I think it was just here, but it's going to be mine now. mine why would it have been here i don't know maybe it was there on top of your phone i think it came i think my phone came like this i think it was just there yeah how about that detroit self-defense guy oh i love him i love him he's having his moment dude you see the video where he's like he's been doing that for like 10 years? Yeah, I think they're all just like old clips of him.
Starting point is 00:36:26 I think that's what Aikido is. I think that Aikido, the martial art, requires you to know how to do Aikido to be able to do it. You have to attack a certain way. All his videos are like if someone's coming at you like this and you just hit him on the back of the head. I'm going to share with you right now what to do if a striker fire weapon is pinning against your chest, against the wall, and a criminal is holding you at bay. And the reason why they're doing this is because this is how they search you for weapons, how they're going to take things from you, also how they're going to harm you physically, keep you from running or pulling out a weapon, is by getting close and pinning you to a wall or to a car. In this case, it's striker fire, so there's no hammer in the back.
Starting point is 00:37:04 So the first thing we're going to do, since we can't move out of the way, we can't move offline. And if I were to try to move this, as soon as he saw my hand move, he's gonna fire. So we have to make this weapon not fire. And give an example of the human reaction time. When he sees me move, he's gonna fire. Well, that was before.
Starting point is 00:37:21 So the reason why it didn't move, the slide didn't slide, is because I inhibited it by pushing it to the rear. From there, what we do is push the barrel back towards the aggressor, and now you have the weapon. And you just pin them down to the ground using their finger, taking them under control. Shot him twice before that. He did get shot twice. None of that
Starting point is 00:37:39 would work. My favorite one is the one where they're running in the circle. Can we find that one? Yes, where it's like, hang on a little longer. I have not seen the circle. Can we find that one? Yes, when it's like 10 guys attacking him. I have not seen this guy. Have you seen that one? I wonder how many people he's got killed. He's like the new
Starting point is 00:37:52 low-hanging fruit for reaction YouTubers. He's easy to make fun of. Which we are. We are reaction YouTubers. We're doing it now. I guess so, yeah. That's what we have
Starting point is 00:38:01 evolved into, yeah. You guys are going to love the one where he's running in the circle. It's hysterical. Is he completely serious? Dude, he has a car with his logo on it. It's like Steven Seagal.
Starting point is 00:38:13 It's the same vibe. That shows you how serious he is. It's like something Steven Che would do. He would sign up for. Yeah, it is. It was a very good class. It was very informative. If you go to any self-defense class, what are you expecting?
Starting point is 00:38:27 You know that I had Spider take an active shooting class? Yeah, Spider is our last line of defense. What, does he shoot back? Is he going to shoot back? I don't think he... He said he didn't really take away much from the meeting. Oh, you're pretty much fucked. Gabe, you should teach a self-defense class for women.
Starting point is 00:38:45 For women? Just tell them to sit down. Oh, shit. Ladies, take a seat. All right, you're good to go. That was an observation that I made, not a joke. What was your observation? Well, statistically, it's your...
Starting point is 00:38:59 We get it. We got it. If you're sitting in a chair... Just run the Dolph back. You might be good. Yeah. Is that true? I've never seen anybody sitting down getting beat up.
Starting point is 00:39:16 It's true. We're going to share with you right now some ways you can keep someone from having contact with your family, your friends, or if you want to keep an aggressor away from someone who is going to be victimized. He is jacked. In the case of a bodyguard, how you keep someone away from your client, in very simple ways. See natural sense? Aggressor comes forward, we go right here to the forehead. That's right to the temple.
Starting point is 00:39:36 Another option we have, we don't want to be aggressive, we go right to the elbows, which gives us elbow control, and now we can guide them away nicely. If they're aggressing, another option we have is to take our hand here, go right, move it forward, and take our hand under the nose. Another option we have is to take our hand under the lip, press down. Going forward, we take our hand like this, right inside of the esophagus. These are simple ways you can increase your survivability. Dude, that's not even what I was thinking of. It was like 10 guys
Starting point is 00:40:06 attacking him at once. He's just slowly walking around all of them as they all try and attack him. Truly incredible. Reminds me of Travis Matthew. Yeah, it does. It does. Very much does. We don't have to read for it.
Starting point is 00:40:21 It's 20% off if you use the code YAK20. I'm obsessed with their joggers. I wore them to my women's workout class yesterday, and all the ladies were aghast at how fucking thick my ass looked. It's not thick, but it was just in the Travis Matthews. It will make your ass look fucking plump. I was wearing the Travis Matthew hat right now.
Starting point is 00:40:38 I love their hats. Their hats are awesome. Yeah, he's been wearing that all morning. Love their hats. Body-yaddy-yaddy-yaddy-yaddy-yaddy-yaddy. It fits perfectly on your Zara. Perfect. Perfect. Love their hats. The great hats. It fits perfectly on you, Zah. Perfect. Perfect.
Starting point is 00:40:46 Get them. That logo's crazy. Because it's like a three. It reminds me of B4Four. That's right. That sick-ass band. I had Rex Orange County as my number one. Wow.
Starting point is 00:41:00 The number one song. Just loving is easy. It's a claymation music video I like to skip around The fucking city And listen to that shit And be fucking joyous as fuck You do skip around the city a lot
Starting point is 00:41:11 I'm fucking joyous bro I'm fucking Oof Life's happening fucking From me bro Shit's radiating from me It's dope You're like Ferris Bueller over there
Starting point is 00:41:22 I am like Ferris Bueller And you're like Cam Yeah Yeah Realistically You're like Ferris Bueller over there. I am like Ferris Bueller, and you're like Cam. Yeah, realistically. You're the impressionist of the group. Just depressed. Skipping is an efficient way to get from point A to point B. Skipping is so efficient. So efficient, but we don't do it.
Starting point is 00:41:38 We skip rope. Why are you skipping rope? I think we jump rope. Nick, skip the mile. Here we go. Here we go. Look in a circle. Try to block, try to hit. That's not going to work.
Starting point is 00:41:48 So if they try to grab and then try to attack you and you try to back up, this is what's going to happen. As you try to back up, you're going to get swarmed and you're still going to be dominated and you're going to lose. What you should do is this. He didn't do anything. He didn't do anything You're able to attack Each attacker individually He's a fucking shark He's a genius
Starting point is 00:42:18 That would result in immediate death There was a tweet that was like This kid and he was like My mom dated this dude When I was like 10 years old And he put us through all the training. And the dude's probably grown up to be Michael B. Jordan or something like that. He's probably the most.
Starting point is 00:42:31 If the gun is to the rear of your head, hand here to the column, drive away. That could work. What? Who that shit want to go work? It's true Because people are out here dying People are out here dying God that's tough I had Drake as my top artist And then it was like
Starting point is 00:43:04 How do you check top artist three was low bit three was meek four was low baby five was freddy gibbs but two was phoebe bridgers rapper all four rappers and then phoebe bridge was in there just fucking singing about kyoto i'm dying to get to kyoto i am too. Phoebe Bridgers went there. Phil Knight went there in Shoe Dogs. Nike guy? Yeah. You ever read Shoe Dogs? I never read Shoe Dogs.
Starting point is 00:43:30 I think you'd like it. I might like Shoe Dogs. You're well-read. Is it like War Dogs? Both shoes? Yeah, kind of. You're going to have to Google Spotify Raps and then click on the link. Jesus Christ, dude.
Starting point is 00:43:41 Kyle, this is kind of spoilerish, and I probably shouldn't talk about it, but the questions you wrote for tomorrow's dozen matches geography questions based on the interstates are insane. I bet they're impossible. They're insane. Okay, no, they aren't. Yes, they are. What do you mean they're insane?
Starting point is 00:43:55 They're insane. Who would know that? Who would know that? We missed. You can go by the interstate. It goes from blank to blank cities, and you guess the biggest city in between those. I just feel like who's going to know that?
Starting point is 00:44:10 What's the biggest city along I-40? I have no idea. That wasn't the question. There was the point A and point B cities. But I used different. And you can use like. Well, I-40 goes from North Carolina to California. What's the biggest city?
Starting point is 00:44:25 I don't know. Nashville, maybe? Your frame of reference is just different from everybody else's. You just have a broader frame of reference. Nothing wrong with it. It's actually quite inspiring. It is. Did anybody get those questions?
Starting point is 00:44:40 No, but we had our second guess was right. The one we didn't go with was right. Nice. Did the other team steal it? Oh, they did not. No, but we had our second guess was right. The one we didn't go with was right. Nice. Did the other team steal it? Oh, they did not. No, no. We were... Final score?
Starting point is 00:44:50 We were playing cons in Casey, so they didn't get much. No? Yeah. Oh, boy. My number two song was Pink Pantheress. Really? You know Pink Pantheress? I don't.
Starting point is 00:45:04 What's that about? Is that about a pussy? No, it's the name of the artist. It's like a Pink Panther, but a Pantheress, like a woman Panther. I used to think that the movie Pink Panther had an actual Panther in it, but then I realized that that's what... The cartoon does. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:20 But isn't that like a commercial for something? Owen's Corning fiber installation. Oh, that's what it is? That was a Pink Panther, but there was also a Pink Panther. And who played the Pink Panther? Well, Steve Martin played in the remake, but it was the French guy, right? Jacques Cousteau? No, he's the oceaner.
Starting point is 00:45:36 No, but that was the name of the Pink Panther. No, it wasn't. Clouseau. Inspector Clouseau. But it was Jacques, wasn't it? But it wasn't Cousteau. It was Clouseau. Clouseau.
Starting point is 00:45:44 Inspector Clouseau, Jacques Cousteau. But it was Jacques, wasn't it? But it wasn't Cousteau. It was Clouseau. Clouseau. Inspector Clouseau, Jacques Cousteau. You could see why I would conflate the two. They're similar. Oh, yesterday I was on the train, and there was a woman across from me, and she was talking loudly in French, and she was crying hysterically. And everybody else on the train got up, but I was- Did you call your wife and see her? No, I was in trance because French is a beautiful language to cry in.
Starting point is 00:46:05 Yeah. To cry in? Yeah, it was stunning to watch. I don't know what she was crying about. I would have talked to her, but she was talking in French. It's a very throttle. She's crying in a different language? Well, she was talking in French, and she would stop and she would sob every now and then.
Starting point is 00:46:19 Merci, mes deux. Je m'appelle Edouard. She was clearly arguing with somebody in French, and then she would occasionally. Probably her French lover who was wantonly cheating on her. Oh, yeah. Because that's how they do shit over there. Is that the only way? Well, they're over here.
Starting point is 00:46:35 But she might have been on the phone on a long distance. It might have been at night. He was probably calling her up while he was cheating just to be like, baby. It was 930 in the morning. Getting some strange. Fuck you you Stranger you ever watch Emily in Paris
Starting point is 00:46:49 any of you please watch Emily in Paris show's fire right the whole thing the show's fire what do you guys do it's terrible
Starting point is 00:46:55 but it's I think the show's supposed to rhyme it's Emily in Paris yes but it's a good show
Starting point is 00:47:02 we ain't in Paris bro what is your move when you make your girl cry in an argument I haven't done it in years I always say you did this to yourself Oh you're crying Don't fuck it You're gonna cry now You're gonna try to make me feel like the bad guy
Starting point is 00:47:19 Cause you're crying Don't fucking cry Now this is a thing Now this is a whole thing This could have been a conversation But you made it an argument I like to cry harder I like to just over sob
Starting point is 00:47:31 Over whatever they're doing I just take it to fucking 10 We're in fucking public Get it together Get it together Last fucking time We're at the blue man group Stop crying
Starting point is 00:47:41 You love the blue man group Dad Fucking blue man group You haven't. You love the blue man group, damn it. Fucking blue man group. You haven't made your wife cry in years. It's been a while. So far. What about big guy moves?
Starting point is 00:47:57 There's a certain element of, you know, the first years of marriage, you have good arguments. By 15, which we're at, it's, you know. You're broken. We know how to avoid arguments and how to avoid all confrontation. We just, you know. Push it down. You know, it's loveless, it's argulous, it's everything. Yeah, loveless.
Starting point is 00:48:09 Yeah. Yeah, so. That's when you know a marriage is fine. Once it gets to the point of lovelessness, you're safe. No divorce. Once it's time to fight, I just pretty much go watch TV. That's incredible. I'm proud of you guys.
Starting point is 00:48:23 Thanks. Nah, you know what? What was that Go ahead and make your wife cry You want her to cry tonight Yeah fuck it We can make my wife cry tonight What do y'all want me to do
Starting point is 00:48:30 Strip a cheat on her I don't think I'll make her cry Nah it wouldn't work She'd be like Get out of jail free card And a divorce win Should I get fired I don't think she'd try
Starting point is 00:48:40 Yeah Tell her you're moving to What place would be worse than this L.A. There is no place Say you're moving to L. would be worse than this la no there's a moving to la She wouldn't like that Yeah, okay. Okay. We're tell her you love her. Oh, yeah I'm the teller. I'm the best you can get
Starting point is 00:48:55 Yeah, I can't leave. What are you expecting? And you're also great Brandon. You're tall you have high hair You're successful and you're a family man who loves his fucking wire Why are the why the gay guys looking at you so hard? I don't know, but he has a picture on his phone. Of Nick. This is a live show, Joey. Yeah, why are the gay guys just stopping in the hallway and staring you down? A picture of you got sent to us, Nick, and you're going to want to see it.
Starting point is 00:49:21 We're going to want to see it. All of us are going to want to see it. Oh, Jesus. This isn't me. This is you and KB, and I have the proof. We're looking at tacos and titties. Enough. Let's pull up tacos and titties
Starting point is 00:49:36 and see if we can change these boys' minds. You have to Venmo us and publicity. Why don't you come in here? My face isn't in there. Or talk about gift cards for $300. This is a straight room. We could turn those boys straight in five minutes. General, us in publicity. Why don't you come in here? My face isn't in there. Or talk about gift cards for $300. Down, down, down. Okay, never mind. This is a straight room.
Starting point is 00:49:49 We could turn those boys straight in five minutes. Straight jacket. There's no fucking... That's Travis Matthew. We'll have those boys straight in no time. We'll have those boys fucking going to Hooters. What is this? What is this? Where is it?
Starting point is 00:50:04 We can't show that on television. That's not me. Oh, God. Let me see. Let me see. Is an eye in it, too? That could be anybody. No, someone sent us a random picture of KB and Nick
Starting point is 00:50:14 when they were in high school. Yeah. And now we are requesting. You have a picture of naked high school me on your phone. 30. Well, you're 18. We know it took you a while. No, no. We're requesting a $ a while to... 18 at a time.
Starting point is 00:50:25 We're requesting a $30 Venmo to us and publicity to not expose it. No, I'd like publicity to expose that. See how that works for exposing Nick's asshole.
Starting point is 00:50:37 Oh, that's just my... You can't tell that's my butthole? I didn't say that, but you think she has? I don't know. I think a butthole is like a fun one.
Starting point is 00:50:44 We were saying the butthole is the nipples of the back. I don't know what you guys think. I'd agree. Titties are the... Trish? I agree as well. Nick, the ball's in your court.
Starting point is 00:50:53 We're going to go record. Let us know. You have an hour to let us know. Wait. $30 to take the ball. Is this a metaphorical ball? No. Are you still thinking about doing that surgery?
Starting point is 00:51:01 Drinking wine? Oh, yeah. Oh, we should plug that. We have an episode coming out tomorrow, but we're doing a plastic surgery episode where we're giving Botox and filler to a bunch of people in the office. You guys are all over that.
Starting point is 00:51:10 Pat, let me get a sip of water. I'm thirsty. But I thought you were going to get some other surgery, Pat. I was going to get top surgery. What's that mean? You're going to get titties? Titties taken off.
Starting point is 00:51:19 Joe, you need top surgery. Is it water? Look at it. Literally a top surgery. That's fire. But that's because he had gyno. What's that? Gyno clematis where you have bitch t at it. Literally a top surgery. That's fire. But that's because he had gyno. What's that? Gyno clematis where you have bitch tits.
Starting point is 00:51:27 I like your boxers. That's fucking fire. They say I love beer. Well, this has been fun guys. I thought you were going to shave your Adam's apple off or some shit. Yeah, shave it down. I was doing facial feminization. Yeah, that's what I meant.
Starting point is 00:51:36 Facial feminization. What the fuck is that? Okay. Just no scars. You're beautiful. You're beautiful. His ass is homophobic. Big time.
Starting point is 00:51:49 You didn't say a word, brother. You kind of cowered a little bit. I know, I did. Why do you have two hands guarding your penis as if they were going to grab it up at any second? He was walking in here. Give me a piece of spaghetti. He's ravenous. Honestly, I wanted to see the picture of KB
Starting point is 00:52:08 and Nick and then they didn't show it to me. You're good. I would argue it's not us. You're good. It was two open buttholes.
Starting point is 00:52:17 Two guys on all four in a hotel room. That's funny, though. I would want to see that just to laugh. Yo, let me see that just to giggle Show me that because it's like
Starting point is 00:52:27 We literally did have your friend in to show his balls though To laugh and giggle See you're pluralizing I think you're talking down to me when you're pluralizing It's one ball One of the things that drives me craziest And it will forever Is that people think that I was making Ruiz up
Starting point is 00:52:41 Well you were making Ruiz up I wonder why they think that I was making Ruiz up. Well, you were making Ruiz up. I wonder why they think that. Yeah. There's reasons that I didn't bring in Ruiz, okay? Yeah, because he has a tiny nutsack. Then you put him in fake prison. Yeah, your boy's got a tiny... You not only made him...
Starting point is 00:52:55 He has raisin nuts. You put him in fake prison. You made him a fake criminal. That was a lie excuse, but he is real. That excuse was better than why he couldn't actually come. Yeah, that's true. Did you guys see the guy on Reddit that might have
Starting point is 00:53:10 a ball that can challenge Nick's guy? We got a big ball? A guy on Reddit? What do you mean? There was a Reddit. Ever since that happened, there have been a ton of guys sending me their nuts. Don't do that. Send that to Pat. What's Pat's Twitter handle?
Starting point is 00:53:25 I forget. Send him your balls. Barstool Pat, right? No, do that. Send that to Pat. What's Pat's Twitter handle? I forget. Send him your barstool Pat. Barstool Pat, yeah. No, no, no, no, no. My buddy Pat. Did we ever say his name when he was on the show? No, just Pat, I think.
Starting point is 00:53:33 Okay. There's a stranger waiting for you in the dark. Rough and Rowdy next week as well. Rough and Rowdy is about to be fucking electric. December 10th. Pumped. Where is it? December 10th. Charleston?dy next week as well. You know, Rowdy's about to be fucking electric. December 10th. Pumped. Where is it? December 10th.
Starting point is 00:53:47 Charleston? Charleston, West Virginia. Charlestown? Charleston. What's the difference, Gabby? Are you guys going? Fuck it. I would love to go.
Starting point is 00:53:58 I would love to do something like that sometime. I'm doing Frankie's to always do those tweets. Always, yeah. I would love to do this. I would love to be a part of this someday. Bro, when you go, are you going to rep
Starting point is 00:54:09 your guy? You going to be a team now, dude? Yeah, I'll be in the Deuce Corner. 100%. What corner is Caleb going to be in?
Starting point is 00:54:17 You see ASAP Rocky commented on Caleb's video? ASAP. Laura Flaca. Fucking pretty boy Flaca. I hope he can get that pretty motherfucker on his Sunday conversation.
Starting point is 00:54:27 That would be cool. That would be fucking fire. Run some drugs. Dogs. Dogs. Yes. The bass keeps running, running. Running, running.
Starting point is 00:54:36 Running, running. And running, running. And running, running. And running, running. In this context, there's no disrespect. I'll break my rhymes. You break your neck. Itch, paw, itch. And running, and running, running. There's no disrespect. I'll break my rhymes. You break your neck. Hitchpot, hitch.
Starting point is 00:54:47 And running, running. The feelings are irresistible and that's how you lose it. How many minutes did you have, Ron? What, of stand-up? No. What? Spotify wrapped. Of just how many minutes did I spend this year?
Starting point is 00:55:01 Yeah. I forget. Maybe 28,000? I didn't get that far. I was in the top 81%. Really? Yeah. Why was it 41%?
Starting point is 00:55:09 It's nothing. No, no, no. I was 80% more. 81% more than other people. Oh, okay. Wait, why would you inverse that? What do you mean? That's not how they give it to you.
Starting point is 00:55:19 Yeah, it is. They say you're... I didn't see that, brother. No, they say you're in like the top 1%. Yeah. 0.0%. No, I said I would listen to 81%. I wouldn't see that, brother. No, they say you're in the top 1%. Yeah. 0.0%. No, I said I would listen to 81. I wouldn't lie about this, but I'll pull it up.
Starting point is 00:55:30 18,000 minutes. So that's more than 71% of other listeners. Where do you guys see that? I can't see that. And they also said the song playing as you proclaim your love in the rain is Sweet Bergamesque, L75-3 Claire de Lune by Claude Debussy. Shut the fuck up. Debussy, huh?
Starting point is 00:55:45 No, do you think I lie about Debussy? No, I said fuck you for having that. Why, bro? This is the shit I listen to, bro. You don't like Debussy? I like Debussy, and also Off the Yak by Young Ma is the song I would play if I was defeated in ancient vengeful spirit. Every time I search Off the Yak to see who they want off our show, that comes up.
Starting point is 00:56:02 Yeah, Young Ma. You search who wants off the show. I'm off the yak. Who do I got? Oh, Big Cat. Azalea Banks. Big Wild. Dido. Kiara. Come on in. Come in for one minute. He's Travis Matthewed out.
Starting point is 00:56:16 He's Travis Matthewed out. Head to toe. Matthew check. Get a little Matthew check. Travis Matthew. Hell yes brother What's up boys What's up legend Legend
Starting point is 00:56:28 Alright that's our show Yeah perfect Thanks for being here today everyone It's the act It's your straws, yeah, style, it's tape, for a while, it's the act. It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk, shop, or do a Yankee pop. It's the act. It's the act. We'll see you next time.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.