The Yak - The 2022 Yak Christmas Spectacular | The Yak 12-23-22
Episode Date: December 23, 2022Merry Christmas everybody!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Oh, look at that!
The tree.
Hello.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Happy Hanukkah.
Happy Kwanzaa.
Yes.
It's the Yak Christmas special.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh, no.
We're not drunk yet.
Off to a good start.
Spider's going to grab some charcuterie
Charcuterie
Charcuterie?
Are you the Grinch?
Me?
Why did you look at Che?
Hey, you're covered in green
You have green hair, Kate
You look right at Che
Who, me?
My thinking was If Kelly Keegs were to dress like a sassy Grinch, what would she wear?
You nailed it.
That's what I would wear.
You fucking nailed it.
You're the Grinch.
What's up, guys?
Merry Christmas.
Yeah, Merry Christmas.
I'm happy to be in here.
I'm getting some Christmas cheer going.
Yeah, I got the Christmas tingles.
Christmas spirit.
This side over here didn't do the Christmas theme as much.
That's Nick's best sweater.
It's my best.
It's his best sweater for sure.
It's the only piece of dress clothing I have.
Yeah, yeah.
No, you can tell.
It's a big ass jiggly puff.
It's your date sweater.
Yeah.
Love that.
That is.
I was doing Christmas in East Los Angeles.
Who cares?
Yes.
Looks good, dude.
You look good.
Brandon, shut up, bitch.
Shut up.
I'm saying what?
You shut up.
Let's keep it together, boys and girls.
Maybe what about tucking it in?
How about tucking it in, though?
Tuck it in.
Yeah, I just want to see that ass, to be honest with you.
Speaking of tucking in, also, Brandon, you should give a spin.
Yes, I have a pussy right now.
Yeah, let's see it.
My penis is tucked into my...
Let's see it.
Yeah, he's been walking so ginger.
Well, we got to see his tucked first.
That just turned him into a good boy.
Oh, you do look good.
Now you actually do look like a dressed up West Virginian.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Like you actually are perfect.
Oh, you look great.
Like mom put on your Christmas Eve mask.
This is wedding attire.
This is a West Virginia dad.
I'm wearing my best stuff.
Yeah.
And we've got Mountain Dew.
Brandon had an all-time spin zone.
He just pissed his pants.
He was like, the pants are so tight, it squeezed the piss out of my pants.
It squeezed the piss out of me.
No, you pissed yourself.
No, look.
All right.
Show it off.
More than dribble.
Oh, wait.
You're not even close to buttoned. No. Wait, raise it. Show it. Show how off. More than dribble. Oh, wait. You're not even close to buttoned.
No.
Wait, raise it.
Show it.
Show how not.
Oh, my God.
How many inches off are you?
That's not even in the zip code.
Yeah, he really isn't.
You didn't get one tooth of zipper.
Wait.
Oh.
Oh, Jesus.
I'm talking about Hank Hill-esque.
You got squeezed in there. If there was any day to wear Spanx, Brandon. Yeah, of Hank Hill ass? You got squeezed in there.
If there was any day to wear Spanx, Brandon.
Yeah, you want some Spanx?
But they fit.
What the hell?
They fit fine elsewhere, just not in the...
Yeah, the legs look great, but you just need more undercarriage.
Yeah, I don't have enough undercarriage.
ETB.
It's too big, correct.
Too big walk.
Although not right now.
It's hiding.
It's stuffed in my own asshole right now.
I was always pissed off by the term, are you a grower or a shower?
Everybody is a grower.
Your dick doesn't get smaller when it gets harder.
Oh, I disagree.
I've seen showers.
I've seen showers.
You've seen showers?
Yeah, yeah.
They're not really get smaller, but it's a big dick that just doesn't really grow. Right. Whereas- It doesn't get- Yeah, yeah. They're not really get smaller, but it's a big dick that just doesn't really grow.
Right.
Whereas...
Yeah, right.
It's like their dick's just always huge.
Really?
It's like a bodybuilder is just flexing at the moment.
Yeah, there's not flexing.
That's the resting state.
Right.
So it's a big dick and it just...
With loose skin.
It doesn't get bigger.
It just gets harder.
Yeah, it's like the opposite of flexing.
It's basically if they're not flexing, but they just have a bulging muscle.
How many boners have you guys seen going from soft to hard?
Well, I only saw it soft.
I actually only saw it soft as well, but I'd imagine there's nowhere to go.
And this dude would always whip it out as a party trick.
Because he was a shower.
He literally is a shower.
I thought we were talking about this.
Can we say his name at the same time?
You guys know the same one?
Can't be the same person.
Is it the same person?
There can't be two guys with the same name. Two guys with the same name only. Initials, initials. Oh, well, the first one? Can't be the same person. Is it the same person? There can't be two guys with the initials.
First name only. Initials, initials.
Oh, well, the first name's gonna be easy for me.
Three, two, one, Jason.
Oh.
Those are two big dick names.
So, sure, really, the dick just changes direction.
That's all it is.
It doesn't go down, it goes up. That's all it does.
That sucks.
You gotta just tote that thing around?
No, I mean, it's awesome they got a big dick. What are you gonna say?
Fucking big dick.
That's good for.0001%
of the time. I'd never want to be
one of those guys. I also had a friend who did the
dick watch. That's one that
nowadays doesn't.
Oh, yeah. I'd like for you to
explain that. He would just go
in college bars, he'd just be like, be like hey excuse me do you have the time
And it was just his dick wrapped around his wrist
Timeless
I don't think
It's not good
It's one of the more impressive things I've ever heard
He wouldn't do it to women so that was good
Well that's a waste
I mean that would be assault brother
Penises are fun
He'd really just do it to us He'd do it to us which was funny Go on Kate go on I mean, that would be assault, brother. I guess it's assault. Penises are fun.
You really just do it to us.
You do it to us, which was funny.
Go on, Kate.
Go on.
I'm just saying, like, I get having fun with them.
Like, I get flinging them around, goofing with them.
You have balls.
You have a penis.
You have, like, all these things to pull and mess around with. I don't know if I like eggnog.
Dude.
I hate eggnog.
I've never had it before.
Look at it.
I've never had this kind.
You give it a shake?
So, wait, what are the rules?
I think so.
Do you shake it? I would. I just poured it. Oh've never had this kind. Do you give it a shake? Wait, what are the rules? Do you shake it?
I would.
I just poured it.
Oh, it's so thick.
So basically we're just trying to finish this?
We have more.
Oh, gosh.
And what percent is it?
It's not a race.
It's not a race.
14.75%.
I don't want to be the last one done.
I shouldn't have drank that.
I shouldn't have had that clam chowder.
Made with real dairy cream, rum.
Oh, my God.
Rum, brandy, and whiskey?
Yeah.
Oh.
Jeff D. Lowe said this was the best kind.
It's not a race.
I just finished my first cup.
What is it?
No, you didn't.
Yeah, I did.
Oh.
I trust Jeff D. Lowe.
Well, what brand is it?
God, look how thick it is.
It's my beer right now. What do you mean is. It's what I brought in for my cocktail.
Oh, that was delicious.
That was the pumpkin one.
I got to take my braces off.
I shouldn't have chugged that.
Oh, God.
You knew we were doing this.
You knew we were doing this.
I know.
I think you just like doing this.
I shouldn't have chugged.
There was just the longest strand of spit.
I know.
It happens every time.
It happens every time. It happens every time.
It's a mistake.
Throw up, dude.
If you heave, you stay.
This is really good.
It is so thick.
Not a race.
Not as strong.
Oh, strong and thick.
It must be sitting in your stomach.
Oh, it's so bad.
It's like a human go-gurt right now.
Oh, my God.
I think it's delicious as far as cocktails go.
That would actually be a good party trick if I just put a bunch in my mouth.
Yeah, the human go-girl.
That is strong though.
Human push pop.
Fuck yes.
I had to chug my first one.
Is there a way
that we could get
some kind of Christmas music
to kind of just like
like a non.
Well, we have an O'Daniacs.
We have Tyler O'Day
who's going to croon us.
What?
He's going to croon us.
Is that right? He's going to croon us. He's going to croon us. Is that right?
I got it right in my headphones.
He's going to croon us.
That sounds awesome.
He's going to croon the fuck out of us.
This is good, but very strong.
Where's your ass crack, Brandon?
It's a low crack.
It's a low crack.
Where is it?
It's cracked so low, his butthole's on the front.
I have a high ass crack.
He's all whole.
You're right.
It's smooth.
All whole, no crack. You have no butt crack.
Where the hell did it go?
How do you breathe?
What the fuck?
That whole time, no
butt crack. You've been holding out on us.
That's cool, dude.
You couldn't plumb.
How do you cut a turd?
I'm just whole.
You're all whole.
Hawaiian Christmas.
A little similar.
You're native.
They're natives.
Yeah, you're right.
It is cozy in here.
It is.
It is very nice.
Are we going to gift each other before O'Day gets here?
What's O'Day getting here? What's O'Day getting here?
What's the schedule right now?
O'Day's going to arrive around 345.
So yeah, I think maybe we do our gifts.
It's 306 recording for if you're trying to.
In the afternoon.
We should be hammered for O'Day.
Yeah, so let's drink, gifts.
I'm going to get drunk.
O'Day's going to come.
He's going to do an Odaniac special list.
Christmas edition.
And then he's going to croon us.
That sounds real nice. We need to figure out the rules to the Yankee swap.
We'll figure that out.
We can do that before we do the game.
If I get something I like, you're not allowed to take it.
Yeah, so what are we going to do?
You can't shake one of them.
One of them or all of them?
One of them.
Mine either. No shaking. You can't feel one of them. One of them or all of them? One of them. No, mine either.
Okay.
No shaking.
Like, you can't feel around the packages to pick them is what I'm saying.
You can't, like, lift.
Do you have to choose it from your seat?
Yes.
You can't touch it.
Oh, it's like Storage Wars.
Yes.
You can only look.
Yep.
You don't have to touch it because they're piled up.
You might not even know what's back there.
Somebody else has to come in here and do it.
Can we buy a storage unit one day on the Yak?
Yep. That'd be awesome. Can we do a storage unit one day on the Yak? Yep!
That'd be awesome. Can we do it right now?
Can we do it now? I mean, I basically have a storage unit in my pile. Yeah, you're right.
We should have someone come bid
on it. Oh, that'd be awesome. Yeah.
How do we want to do
the twist? Where's
the twist? We need to know the twist.
I think the twist is somewhere along the way. Just have to figure it out along the way. Where's the twist? We need to know the twist. I think the twist is
somewhere along the way.
Just have to figure it out along the way.
Okay, here's an idea.
We spin to see who picks.
You get to pick your box.
And then we maybe do
two spins after
and if it lands on you, you can trade.
When does the
spin after? Everyone has their
gift in front of them or how many trade
spins we're gonna have two so we go through the process we unwrap and at the very end there's
there's trades two trades trading period okay maybe one the first trading period we don't get
to open them yet yes first trading period you're allowed to get to open them yet. Yes. First trading period, you're allowed to lift.
Yes.
You're allowed to touch all of them.
You're allowed to touch them all.
So it's based on scent, so one is just by sight.
The next one's by feel.
Yeah, so there'll be one person who basically knows
every gift at the end who can trade.
A lot of power.
That is a lot of power.
I'm sorry, wait.
I don't get it either, Kate.
Wait, wait, wait.
Time out, time out.
The trades happen. We all pick our gifts, but before they're open to the trades happen. of power i'm sorry wait so i don't get it either i don't wait wait wait time out time out the
trades happen we all pick our gifts but before they're open to the trades happen one trade
happens then after they're open another oh and then another trade after they're we're not opening
them as we get them no but you don't have to trade if you don't want to correct i think that
if you're if you get called on the trade wheel, you have to trade. Oh. Because then that means if you have a great gift, you have to trade it.
Okay.
Oh, yes.
Okay.
I got it now.
But you get to pick who you trade with.
Or do we spin the wheel to see who you trade with?
So we're going to match trading partners?
I think that we shouldn't ever indicate which one is ours.
Never.
Yes.
I think that we should do our best to not be like, that so-and-so is present because
we'll know that there's more value in some presence than others so if
we can kind of play it close to the chest
I feel like that will make it way more
way more fun
for the viewer and it'll make
it more even
mine's obvious
yeah mine's pretty fucking obvious
but for everybody else
for everybody else
just keep it close to your chest from now on.
And I already forgot whose amounts was what.
What?
Whose money amounts were gift amounts.
All I know is Sass had the most expensive.
Yeah, all I remember is Sass's.
Okay, so should we start picking?
Oh, we got a wheel.
Yeah, to pick.
Who gets to pick first?
Yeah, let's start picking.
So a wheel to pick who picks first.
Let's get the pictures out of the way first.
The pictures? Are we way first. Pictures?
Are we doing pictures?
What?
I'm just so used to having to do pictures before games.
You don't have to?
No, we should. We should. You're right.
Are we doing group pictures or should we pair up?
Stefan, can you come in here and maybe
do some pictures of us?
Right, we have to take pictures. Everyone has to take a picture in front of the tree. Yeah, no, can you come in here and maybe take some pictures of us? Right, we have to take pictures.
Everyone has to take a picture in front of the trip.
Yeah, no, you're right.
So we should spin for duos, for picture duos?
No, everyone just has to go take a picture.
I'm going to get mine out of the way.
It's West Virginia, Dad.
Connor's getting this?
All right, Connor.
That's nice. I'll go next unless anybody else wants to
don't let that spill
cause that'll
tough to get out
you know me
I know
I'd throw away those pants
my favorite cords
yeah
I already feel this
in my legs
already
mhm
I chugged my first one. You're you're.
I chugged my first one.
No.
Damn.
Sixty percent through
my belly.
The bottle's like three
glasses about.
Mm hmm.
It's a mistake.
Oh yeah.
I'm definitely feeling
buzzed.
I just saw.
Sorry.
I branded you can see
Brandon's whole lift up
lift up your shirt.
You see the entire
show the camera your little dinky. Can I see Brandon's whole piece. Lift up your shirt so you can see the entire thing.
Show the camera your little dinky.
Brandon, can I see your penis?
Show the camera your little tiny dinky.
I saw the whole thing.
You can't see it.
He took a step forward.
There it was.
Tucked down?
That's pretty cool.
That's a pretty cool tuck.
We also have extra bottles of eggnog.
I want to spin a wheel for a random person in the office that has to drink the eggnog.
I've seen Kate Thomas.
What?
Yeah, that's true.
It was during COVID times.
Kate's seen Steven's dick.
Yeah, she has twice. We're just Steven's dick. Yeah, she has twice.
We're just a happy family.
Yeah, I guess so.
Great call on the pictures.
She thought the Zoom background was magic and would stay in front of her,
and she just took her shirt off.
We needed the pictures. I'll do the palm blowing it at the camera.
Yeah, do that.
Santa baby.
Oh, yeah.
That song turns me on for some reason. Oh, yeah. That song gives me a boner. Santa baby Oh yeah That song turns me on for some reason
Oh yeah
That song gives me a boner
Santa baby
Christmas shoes
That's a spender
Oh Jay
Jay
Look at you you dog
He's so happy
Zahn TJ come get your pictures
Put them in a big collage
It's supposed to be sexual That's actually Oh yeah I mean it's an innuendo Put them in a big collage.
It's supposed to be sexual.
That's actually... Oh, yeah.
I mean, it's an innuendo,
the whole song, right?
We should take a group photo
for a Christmas card.
Oh, yeah.
Send it to one Yak listener.
Yeah.
And if they get it,
they're allowed to kiss us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
With a Yule log.
That's cute.
Take a selfie of you.
And we gotta do the whole group.
Hold on, Zah. Yeah, there'll just be silence for a minute.
Silence.
Okay.
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
This is great.
I think I'll sit. Kyle, you wanna say something?
I'm falling at my legs immediately.
Should we do a football fight?
No, we should.
Alright.
Oh, I forgot what we were looking for.
And then a more. There's nothing. We're back.
We're back.
Okay.
We need to think of like a
big dog-esque
saying for the card.
Wait, we should actually
seriously sell that card
in the Barstool store.
No, we should put it on a shirt
and see if any
sickos really want to
buy it.
Or you could just
print it off.
Yeah.
Damn.
For the podcast
listeners, we all just
crouched in front of
the tree.
Reality is probably
just the thumbnail for
the episode.
It is.
Yeah, that's true.
Good point.
Good suggestion, KB.
Great suggestion.
Get the pictures.
Did you have to get
your pictures taken in front of all the gifts like every Christmas?
We had to do every permutation.
We should put a filter on.
All the male cousins, then all the cousins, then the siblings,
then the whole immediate family, and then my mom's side of the family.
Did those pictures ever go anywhere?
Like were they ever even printed?
Yeah, we would print them.
I remember my dad had the big 1990s video camera.
Oh, yeah.
That was huge.
It had a massive light attachment on it that would, like, beam up the stairs.
And my brother and I would be, like, blinded coming down to see.
You guys get silly putty every year?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Gak.
It was Gak for me.
I get silly putty every year.
What do you mean?
Stocking stuffer? Oh, yeah. It's the stocking stuffer. Silly putty sucks. Why? get Silly Putty every year. What do you mean? I don't know. Stocking stuffer?
Oh, yeah.
It's the stocking stuffer.
Silly Putty sucks.
Why?
I love Silly Putty.
Oh, I hate it.
It's so much fun.
Stuck on shit.
I got stuck on my hair once.
It is fun to use on a newspaper.
Peanut butter.
Yes, and you get it in reverse.
Newspaper's cool.
Did you ever get Silly Putty out of hair?
No, it didn't work.
Really?
I think that's gum.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
I've gotten a lot of gum, yeah. I've gotten a lot of gum, yeah.
You've gotten a lot of gum in your hair?
Oh, your uncle worked at Wrigley.
Yes.
He had so much candy in him.
So much gum.
He would just give it out at school.
I had so much gum and I hate it.
You had experimental flavors.
Every flavor imaginable.
Really?
Yeah.
Even the clove.
That was awesome.
What's some rare flavors of gum?
I didn't even know there were.
I thought Wrigley was kind of bare basics
like just
orange clove gum that they usually only sell
in cracker barrels
there was this caffeine gum
that I got addicted to when I was like 19
and it had to get
they couldn't sell it anymore because it was
dangerous
Nicorette?
yeah that's what he was like
Nicorette? Yeah, that's what he was like.
Nicorette's good.
Damn.
One year at my grandmom's house, two of my cousins, they found all the presents a couple days before Christmas.
And they just opened them all.
Oh, that's fucked.
I mean, that makes sense for your family.
Yeah.
The most devious thing you can do. Just open them all. Just like, no thought of any, like, of like the moment after they just opened all the
presents and just like.
I do feel great.
Wrapping paper everywhere.
They just, they opened them all.
TJ, can I see the logo on the top left?
Oh.
I haven't noticed that thing yet.
Oh.
Yes.
Top left of the screen there.
Oh, yeah. They're all from movies. That's his cousin Eddie. You actually nailed my yet. Oh. Where? Top left of the screen there. Oh, yeah.
They're all from movies.
That's his cousin Eddie.
You actually nailed my outfit.
Oh, my God.
I nailed your outfit.
Whoa.
Look at us.
That's incredible.
Oh, my God.
Am I Yukon Cornelius?
Yes, you are.
Oh, hell yeah.
Who the fuck is that?
You're Ralphie.
He's the guy that is silver and gold.
He runs from the Bumble.
Steven, you've never seen that movie. You're Ralphie.
Oh, you're the elf that wants to be a dentist.
Yeah, you are.
Herbie.
Herbie.
Land of Misfit Toys.
That's great.
That shit's great.
Who made that?
I would guess Ryan Hatfield.
$5,000 for Ryan. Will Sparks. Will Sp guess Ryan Hatfield. $5,000 for Ryan.
Will Sparks.
Will Sparks.
Sparks.
$2,500 for Will.
Will Sparks, what a name.
Look at that.
By now you can't.
What an absolute artist.
By the way, my mom sent me.
Dan, that shit's good looking.
Our family Christmas card came out.
Family Christmas card. Oh. Let me see it.
Oh, I made it! Hell yes!
Two spots.
Two spots. The kiss.
Oh, that's great.
It says, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year
from the Hitchings.
The Hitchings!
First family of the Yak That's incredible
They are
They truly are
That's awesome
They just freaking get it man
People are gonna think
That you and I are dating TJ
That's true
They're gonna be like
Oh who's this young
Strapping male
That's in the family now
Yeah my grandparents
Are gonna be confused
I'll kiss the fuck
out of them too.
No problem with that.
We should put out
like a Christmas letter
from the show
that we send around.
Those are the most
pompous things in the world.
I asked my family
to stop doing them.
The update of like
this year.
We would mock
the people who sent them.
Kevin went to
sleep away camp.
Yeah.
Oh those are the worst.
You would read them
with eroticism.
Brendan was in the play.
Fuck you.
Everything was going so perfect. There was just one family
that would send us a novel about how perfect
everything was. He went to Cabo in February.
This wasn't a local thing.
My mom's mom got older.
She started to send out TMI
letters to all her wide group
of friends. I was like, well, we had a little
scare this year. My mom's a very private person virginia had some polyps on her ovaries
she started like telling all of our personal medical stuff to everybody we're like oh
that's fantastic yeah yeah that's hilarious they're so pompous unbelievable like a brag
like i don't know who started it or where they're fucking coming from.
Yeah.
Why do you think, why would anybody want that?
Should we send one out with all our biggest fails of the year?
Yeah.
Like, here's all the worst things.
Is that just what letters were?
Just like you bragged about what the fuck was going on in your life?
Yeah.
That would be funny.
All of our fails.
Big Cat came for a sociopath and let him back in the office.
Any else?
Roan took trivia too seriously and spazzed.
Steven got his car repoed.
Oh, yeah.
He thought it was on auto payment.
That was tough. Yeah, yeah. That's nice. Because he thought it was an auto payment. Yeah.
That was tough.
Yeah, that was tough.
My wife actually not mad about it.
She was mad that I tweeted about it.
I mean, I've met your wife.
She's got to be like the number one saint in the world to deal with your brain.
She's so chill.
Yeah, she just has a great attitude as well, just like you, which is why you guys are a
great match.
I spend a lot of time with you.
Cheers.
I spend a lot of time with you, and I want to
kill myself. And so
being, like, with
you forever? Willingly.
Yeah, willingly! It's wild. I had a nice
conversation with her at the
Philly Dozen, and she
is so much more tolerable.
Yeah, she's very pleasant. Does she ignore
your antics a little bit? Yeah, what does she do?
She does not tune into this program.
That's the best way.
Ignorance is bliss.
My sister-in-law fucks with KB and Nick and Frank.
Hey-o.
Yes.
Whoa.
She's a Frank Getz fan.
Frank Getz.
My sister-in-law is a huge fan of Dozen.
Shout out to Shannon.
And her favorite team, even though I'm playing, is Frank and Frank.
Oh, again.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
It's you.
Any other shout outs?
I like that shout out.
I wouldn't root for a team if a player was fucking my sister.
And he was so cocky about it.
So cocky about it.
So cocky about it.
I tea.
In detail about his load.
Yeah.
I did not get into that.
Productive showers.
I called him elite.
Elite.
Elite.
I just said my tea level.
Yeah, your tea level is here. I have elite testosterone. Couldn't pull. We called him elite. Elite. Elite. I just said my T-level. Your testosterone.
I'm elite testosterone.
Couldn't pull it out of him.
Elite loads.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is some good eggnog.
I'm getting a little buzz.
It's going down easier now.
I'm kind of buzzed.
Yep.
Our tummies are going to hurt like hell later.
Oh my God.
I'm going to.
Is there a world where eggnog is supposed to be served warm?
Or is that totally made up?
Oh, I hope not.
No, I think it could be.
Maybe it could be with some little nutmeg on the top.
The top would start to separate if it was just sitting.
It definitely feels like a one-cup-every-year drink.
This is probably like 4,000 calories.
Oh, yeah.
It doesn't have it on there, I looked.
I want to dye it, too.
The candy corn of booze.
Oh.
Roan, how do you pull off
a Santa hat better
than the big man himself?
You look very good.
So crisp.
Oh, dude.
Don't fucking gas me.
It's the suit.
We got to get
fitted suits together.
KB, are you in?
Does it make you feel better?
Yeah.
I can see.
Yeah.
It makes your ass feel better.
Your posture is even better.
It's a great tie, too.
Thank you.
I want to take the subway to work wearing a suit.
I'm so jealous of those people.
You just get a...
You look so important.
You do look important.
You probably think you're a millionaire.
Is that a custom suit?
Yeah.
Nice.
Enzo Custom.
Are you guys wasted on Christmas families?
No.
No, I'm not.
No.
Never drinking on a holiday family.
What?
No.
My family doesn't drink. Mine neither, really probably is why you're you turned out so great yeah i don't think i'm great but that's
humble too humble i used to get drunk when i was like in my 20s and now it's just like
yeah i used to be a christmas ruiner yeah i used to ruininer as you pour up a 20 ounce eggnog my mom got a brand new uh
ultima one year and i was so hung over in it at christmas that i threw up cheesesteak and
it was leftover that i found in the fridge and orange juice combined oh all over the ultima
like all of us she just told you straight up you ruined christmas christmas yeah yeah so i've had
a few of those but i've grown out of it, I think.
That shit's funny.
I'm going to be like the shy one again.
Yeah, I am.
I'm the shy one of the family.
Every year I was just getting wasted.
Yeah.
And I'm a shy boy.
Right.
My family didn't know I spoke, my extended family, until I started drinking.
You were just the guy.
So what do you do?
Shy Kyle.
Shy Kyle, yeah.
And you're about to revert.
I'm going to be shy again.
Oh, I'm shy around my grandmas and my cousins.
Because we were the family that lived further away.
So we saw them the least.
And they were like friends.
I never understood being friends with cousins.
I don't even have my cousins' phone numbers.
Oh, they're my best friends.
Yeah.
They're all my besties.
And I'm shy at Christmas and holidays.
My mom is like, Nick, speak up.
Say something.
Say what you've done this year.
Oh, mom.
Mom.
Oh.
You're 30.
I'm 30 and she's like,
Nick, speak up.
Thank them.
Speak with your chest.
Say thank you, Nick.
Give your grandma a hug.
Looking at your feet.
That is the worst though,
like the extended family that you don't know if it's the hug and the kiss or the... You're just like, That is the worst though Like the Extended family
That you don't know
Like if it's the hug
And the kiss
Or the
Ugh
You're just like
Ah fuck
I haven't seen you
In like multiple years
And then you really
Can't rock the boat
In any conversations
And like you just
Kind of have to go along
With whatever like
Their opinions are
Yeah
They're talking about
Some political shit
You just
Ride it
Yeah yeah
So my dad's a dickhead
And he Knows their political Leanings on each side, and he'll
just say the opposite every dinner.
That's smart.
I like that.
Fireworks.
Why not?
Oh, look at this.
Charcuterie.
Yes.
All right.
Charcuterie.
Ooh.
Oh, that looks great.
Spider, you crushed it.
Oh, my God.
I love Babybel.
Babybel's the best.
Thanks, Spider. It's fun. Yeah. It God. I love Babybel. Babybel is the best. Thanks, Spider.
It's fun.
Yeah.
It's good.
It tastes good.
Pass it that way.
Pass it that way.
No, no, no.
I want him to have it.
All right.
Should we start with the gifts?
Yeah.
I think so.
Big Cat, have you drank since your chug?
Uh-huh.
Okay.
He's halfway done.
Actually, so am I.
Well, it's in my cup.
I've been sipping since the chug Alright so wheel
To decide the gift
And you put it in front of you
Who wants some charcutte
Give me a cheese
And you can't
You have to just pick it out right
You can't touch it before
And say that one
Yeah but they're stacked on top of each other
You're gonna have to touch them
You can just say that one You can survey You they're stacked on top of each other. You're going to have to touch them. You can just say that one.
You can survey.
You can look around, but you can't touch.
Yeah.
It's just like Storage Wars.
I've never seen Storage Wars.
You're not allowed in the unit.
Have you seen it?
Really?
Yeah, I've never seen it.
I've never seen that either.
It seems right up your alley.
It's a great show.
I've never heard of it.
You would love it.
What about trash?
Huh?
Why would it be right up my alley?
It's awesome.
It just seems like a...
It's white trash.
Yeah, it's white trash.
It's white trash gambling. It's awesome. It just seems like a... It's white trash. Yeah, it's white trash. It's white trash gambling.
It's gambling.
Yes, it is gambling.
You're not allowed to look.
They're not actually allowed to go in and touch anything, so they look.
I know the...
They'll be like, oh, I see like a baseball card.
You see the shape or, yeah.
Isn't that an easy show to fake where they just stuff the storage thing with things?
Please don't do that to me.
No, yeah, Brandon.
It's Christmas.
I mean, that's what they do.
Just please don't.
Shut up.
I'm okay for now.
Shut your mouth.
Oh, wow, there's a 1920s... Ah, shut your mouth....with a baby Bruce signed baseball. Shut your mouth. It's Christmas. I mean, that's what they do. Just please don't. Shut up. Shut your mouth. Oh, wow.
There's a 1920s baseball.
Shut your mouth.
Shut your mouth.
Why would somebody keep that in a storage unit?
Exactly.
I don't know.
I've never seen the show.
Just because you haven't seen the show doesn't mean you can ruin it for everyone else.
I feel like it does.
I bet New York City has a ton of good ones.
Oh, yeah.
Probably dead bodies, too.
For sure.
That would suck.
Imagine high-stakes storage wars.
If you get a dead body, you are charged with a crime.
Oh, my God.
Oh, yeah.
Have to go off smell.
There's definitely residents in there, too.
My friend's brother lived in one for a hot minute.
Really?
Yep.
Yeah.
Up in Coors Gold, California.
Things just weren't going well?
Things weren't going well. Because they're like 99 bucks a month. Yeah. Up in Coors Gold, California. Things just weren't going well? Things weren't going well.
Because they're like 99 bucks a month.
Yeah.
Like even less.
We went up there for Thanksgiving, a whole group of us.
In the storage?
No, and he was like, oh, hold on.
We got to swing by and pick my brother up before we go to my aunt's.
And we pulled up to a storage facility and he's like, yeah, this is where he lives.
I think Chef Donnie's doing research to live on a sailboat.
Oh.
Interesting.
That would be cool.
Sailboats are uncomfortable.
Yes, they are.
That sounds depressing.
The most depressing place to live.
Yeah.
He has the demeanor.
No, he could do it.
It depends on the personality if it's sad or really cool.
Well, it also depends on the size of the boat.
I don't know.
Not with Donnie.
Like a yacht.
I also, when you see the people who work on cruises,
that looks depressing as well.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, below deck.
Even like the fun ones.
That just seems...
Do you watch all the shows?
Bravo shows?
Yeah.
Most.
I think I do, too.
Yeah.
Ron and I are going to start a podcast.
Every time you talk, I hear your Native American accent
why?
don't know why
that's all I can hear
when you talk
wait oh TJ
you should spin the real wheel
in case
we're doing the real wheel too?
yeah we have to
it's an episode
imagine if we get wet
imagine if we get TJ again
oh man
oh god
if it lands on TJ
on the name wheel I'm'm going to stage a coup.
Yeah.
It's 80% been my name on name wheel.
Oh, my God.
What's the probability of that?
It's one of 10, and then...
To the fourth power.
Right, so one of 10,000?
Yeah.
Whatever.
Yeah.
I hope it's compliment minute.
Shut up.
Oh, God. No, no. Whatever. Yeah. I hope it's compliment minute. Shut up. Oh.
Oh, God.
No.
This is like best games.
No.
Have a take.
This should be on the wheel.
Yeah, that should be.
Oh, one.
All right.
No, no, no, no.
We don't need that.
We'll do that next time.
Just get one.
I'm ordering it.
Brandon already ordered food.
That's why he's complaining.
No, I didn't.
Oh, my God.
I actually didn't.
I didn't order food.
But you brought your phone in so you could order food.
I did, and I forgot to do it.
All right, there we go.
Then this is beautiful.
Okay, well, that would be lovely.
But we should take it off the wheel.
Brandon, this was on your desk, and you moved it before it started.
How many of us are there?
Nine.
The menorah?
Nine.
I'm good.
I feel bad saying that.
Or do we have to?
I'll get nine, and then you don't have to eat it, Kate, if you want to.
You'd have to take out her adult buddies.
I won't eat it.
I'll get five.
Okay, five?
Fuck.
People will share.
It's the holiday season.
Sure, we can just share.
No one ever finishes a whole saltado.
You're right.
You're right.
You're right.
Brandon, do you?
I do, yeah.
All the fries and the tomatoes?
Yeah, mostly the fries.
It's one of the heavier dinners you can have.
Right below Sheppie P.
Love shepherd's pie.
Steven, I like having you in here, bro.
It's a little different. Change of pace.
I see Zah's shake of the bottle again. Zah, that was... you in here, bro. It's a little different. Change of pace.
I see Zah's shake of the bottle again.
Zah, that was... Lomo has been ordered.
Zah, that was the most...
Look at this.
His whole body.
Oh, Jesus.
That's a foamy nog.
Oh, you bastard.
You've never had eggnog before, have you?
I have never. it's my first time
You like it?
It's an acquired taste
I think the drunker I get, the more I like it
The first couple of sips will tell
When you say it's an acquired taste
And you've just tried it for the first time
That means you do not like it at all
He's acquired it
I'm pretty bombed
My tummy's gonna burst later
Hank looks jacked Did he do an F45. Yeah, my tummy's going to hurt later. Hank looks jacked, bro.
Yeah.
Did he do an F45?
Yeah, he is.
Really?
In his six-pack, he said, by Super Bowl.
No.
When did he say that?
Last year before the Super Bowl.
He got a Tom Brady tweet today.
Yeah.
Pretty big deal.
Also, Kevin Bonner.
Yeah.
Kevin Bonner tweet.
Sorry, I don't want to ruin.
That's Steven Santa.
When Tom Brady tweets, he's like, oh, Tom Brady's tweeting at me.
I know the deal.
Do you?
Yeah.
Well, the times that I've done it, it's questionable.
I never asked for those.
Yeah.
It's true.
We all know the deal, but we're wearing Santa hats still, you know?
True.
You also look, I think the thing about you, you look very good with glasses.
You don't wear glasses that often.
I think we have a similar frame.
You need them?
We do.
I wear contacts.
I think I knew that.
A New Year's resolution is learn how to wear contacts.
Learn?
Yeah.
Your body rejects them?
You get them in?
Touching my eyeballs creeps me out.
Yeah, it creeps me out, too.
Does any of the rest of you pussies have New Year's resolutions?
I'm sorry, is that what you were about to say?
Is it true that they can melt onto your eyeball?
That's the only reason why.
No.
If you leave them in for a long time.
No, no, no.
Mine, like, froze into my eyeballs once in Boston.
I think that's what happened. You fell asleep with them in for a long time. No, no, no. Mine like froze into my eyeballs once in Boston. I think that's what happened.
You fell asleep with them in?
No, I went, I was like doing tourist shit in Boston.
It was like negative 10 degrees out and I was walking that whole freedom trail, that like
yellow line that goes through Boston, whatever.
And by the time I was done, I got in this cab and I started blinking and my eyes started,
it felt like glass was in my eyes.
And the cab driver was like, oh, do you have contacts?
He's like, they probably froze a little bit in your eyes yeah it really hurt what the fuck i don't
know if that's humanly possible but it was really windy you forget to blink i think so i don't know
i don't know if it was so cool i don't know what happened but it felt like my eyes were on fire
just trudging through the snow yeah very convenient your cab driver knew that though
i know i know this was it Slumdog Millionaire?
I assume it's like Boston just gets that cold or something.
That's a thing.
Probably picks up a lot of tourists, though.
Yeah.
You have a New Year's resolution?
I'm trying to get one.
I'm going to try to.
I want to be under 235.
Really?
Right now?
245?
That's doable.
For the whole year.
Pound a month? No, I want to be for the whole year pound a month
no I want to be
for the whole year
wants to race
get there
stay there
wants to race to it
and then keep it
I also want to be
meaner to Brandon
in 2023
why
I just don't think
I've been mean enough to you
we're soft this year
yeah I was soft on your ass
y'all did take
I'm gonna really whip it
y'all did take a step back
in 22
oh everyone you knew died
right
well not really.
All the males. Coach.
All the male, like, father figures.
Yeah, all the males. What do you mean by
father figures?
Oh, your father.
But also your stepdad, Amber.
And then they were playing Mike Leach and Michael.
Oh my god. Yeah, you lost it.
Brandon. And your landlord.
He's also a father figure.
Add this to the letter.
Yeah.
Brandon had a shitty year.
That money looked good, though.
The least significant thing that happened to him was his dog got hit by a car.
Yeah.
Well, he's fine.
Sam's fine.
Is he walking with a limp or anything?
No, it hit him and it hurt his chest.
So he's good.
He had to recover.
It damaged his lungs, but he's okay. $3,500. Good. $3,500. How do you know it hurt his chest, so he's good. He had to recover. It damaged his lungs, but he's okay.
$3,500.
Good.
$3,500 motherfucking hundred dollars.
How do you know it hurt his chest?
Huh?
I told them.
That's what they told me.
Okay.
They x-rayed him.
The dog said it.
Oh, my chest.
Oh, my chest.
I think I'm bleeding inside my chest.
Oh, my fucking chest.
Brandon, give me a bone.
Are my dogs a redneck, too?
My chest.
No, his dog's like a- Oh, yeah, he's from Jersey, right? He's Coley. Oh, and my dog's a redneck too? My chest His dog's like
Oh yeah he's from Jersey
He's Coley
Oh and my dog's from Tennessee
Oh
I gave Coley one of my dogs
That would be funny if your dog was
Coley has a redneck dog
A Jersey Guido
No he's from Tennessee
Did you get Tommy anything dangerous this year?
It's close
I got
I got some swords in there
I haven't gotten them in yet
So they're gonna be It's gonna be touch and go Like last year I bought some swords, and I haven't gotten them in yet, so it's going to be touch and go.
Last year I bought some swords for $49 I thought would be very safe,
and they were sharp as fuck.
So this year I think I went safer, and we'll see.
Let's get him some archery.
Yeah, I think that.
I got him a PS5.
Wow.
Yeah, I don't know what else I got.
What about a Tommy gun?
A lot of Pokemon cards.
Yeah.
An actual gun? Tommy gun, yeah. That shoots bullets? Yeah. I don't know what else I got. What about a Tommy gun? A lot of Pokemon cards. Yeah. An actual gun?
Tommy gun, yeah.
That shoots bullets?
Yeah.
Probably later.
It's Tommy.
That's why you start with a crossbow or a log bow. He's wanted a crossbow since he was four years old.
Let's get him a crossbow.
Let's get the boy what he needs.
Let's get him a crossbow.
Seriously?
Slash fund?
No.
Can't get him a crossbow. His mama would kill fund? No. Can't get him a crossbow.
His mom would kill me.
Start off with like the suck up one.
Low darts?
You think I'm the next to go, don't you?
No, I'm just saying if you get him a crossbow and you're like, Tommy, just make sure you
defend me when your mom tries to kill me.
You're fine.
You're fine.
You have a defender.
How much?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
A fucking 12-year-old.
This is a problem. Maybe Sask got one for the gifts. Oh, yeah.. A fucking 12-year-old. This is a problem.
Maybe Sask got one for the gifts.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
So, yeah, let's do the gifts.
89 bucks.
That's tactical as hell.
That doesn't look like a crossbow at all.
It has sights on that thing.
How far are you?
That looks like too many moving parts.
That's so awesome.
It is awesome.
Yeah, that's cool.
So it's not just the boys think that's a cool thing.
You think that's cool, too, Kate. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It looks cool. Yeah, it looks cool. It looks very cool. So it's not just the boys think that's a cool thing. You think that's cool too, Kate?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It looks cool.
Yeah, it looks cool.
It looks very cool.
The girls get the opportunity to really play with weapons.
If I could have an iron that looked like that.
Wow.
So we spin the wheel and then we start picking the gifts.
Yeah.
Somebody's present hungry.
He just said let's do it.
I want to have the gifts in front of us when Tyler gets here. So he gets all like, I wish I had a gift. Yeah. Somebody's present hungry. He just said let's do it. I want to have the gifts in front of us when Tyler gets here.
So he gets all like, I wish I had a gift.
Yeah.
Do we put sass on this?
No, I think Tyler should get it.
Sass bought.
Spent $500.
No, Tyler is not getting sass's gift.
No, no, no.
Tyler should get a gift.
It represents sass, right?
Because sass isn't here.
He gave a gift, but why would he get one?
Because he spent $500.
But he's not here.
You're going to give him a gift?
I think O'Day should just represent Sass and get whatever.
He gets the last one.
He should split it, no matter if it's splittable or not.
It'll have to be cut in half.
Yeah, like Samson.
Yeah.
Or fucking Solomon.
Yeah, Solomon.
He's paid $500 to not be here.
That's what it was.
He's got him paid more than $500.
I'm sure.
He's doing fine.
Sass is loaded, isn't he?
Loaded.
You see how easily he bought that $500 gift?
They didn't complain once.
His parents are billionaires. He started FedEx. I was in the checkout line for my $500 gift. They didn't complain once. His parents are billionaires.
He started FedEx.
I was in the checkout line for my $300 one.
I was like a Baptist preacher just dabbing my eyes,
sweating.
I hope the car goes through.
All right, Che.
So Che goes last, right?
So I pick from here, and then I get to pick it up
and put it in front of me.
Yes.
There's going to be several trades, so I'm just going to pick up and put it in front of me. Yes. There's going to be several trades,
so I'm just going to pick the big green one in front.
Oh, simple.
Looking to the point.
You'll be able to touch some of the other ones, honestly,
but to get to that, so that was a sneaky good move.
I will say presents
that come wrapped seem
better to me than presents in bags.
Agreed. Something about it.
I might burn him.
Why are you so offended
by that, Brandon?
What in the hell?
There's so many candles.
How heavy is this?
Oh, wow.
You got elite testosterone.
Yeah, that one's going to get nabbed.
Yeah.
I'm going to steal that one now.
Interesting.
It's a big boy. Yeah. I'm going to steal that one now. Interesting. I got a...
It's a big boy.
I wonder if people got good stuff or didn't.
Time.
Can I just have a timeout?
Isn't the whole point of Yankee Swap to see what it is and then steal it?
Yeah, but now we know the weight.
We're doing that.
We're doing both.
We're doing both.
It's a dual sense.
There's going to be two trades.
Yeah. Okay. Continue.
No, it doesn't make sense.
You know it doesn't make sense. There's not several trades.
There's two total trades. One when they're
still wrapped. Up to. One when they're not.
Up to two, right?
I don't know.
I'm a little drunk.
I feel like
the spirit of Yankee Swap
he should open that now
no no no no
oh wait no he's right though
and the next person should get to
either pick that or pick from there
but we should do that after one round
of blind swaps
after one round of blind swaps
I want to do at least one blind.
Yeah, let's all pick the blind blindly.
Pick a blind, and then we start doing that shit.
All right.
Should it be like he doesn't open it, but if you get next, you can pick that?
I think this is where we're seeing what all the packages are, and then we'll do our first
round of actual picks and swaps.
What I'm saying is, say my name comes up next, and I want that.
I take that, and then Steven then goes to the other one.
I don't think you can do that now.
That's Yankee Swap, yeah.
Yeah.
But none of them are open.
But according to the rules you guys laid out.
I'm fine with that.
I'm cool with that.
Great, great, great.
Then when do we open them?
So then in the second round.
Wait for the second round.
The second round, you can either open yours or steal one and then open it.
The best part is this show has been established as being the dumbest show in the world.
Donnie!
I knew this was going to happen.
You want a slug of...
Donnie!
Nog?
Pour up a little nog for Donnie.
We have extra bottles, too.
I told Donnie to come take a slug of my nog.
So spin the wheel.
Slug of my nog.
Give it a try.
The only thing you'd have to decide then on that.
This is apparently the best nog?
That's right.
Yeah.
Is if the person that goes first gets the last move.
That's normally how it goes.
Yeah.
I don't want Steven to get the last move.
Steven gets the last move.
Is it made with rum?
Is that?
Rum, brandy, and whiskey.
Oh, shit.
I didn't know it was all of them.
All right. So spin in that person.
Really?
Well, he just gave some to Donnie.
Okay.
Are you really?
Jesus fucking Christ, Nick.
You're fucking pounding that.
Donnie, have you ever spent Christmas in a foreign country aside from China?
I've done like four Christmases in China.
Those can get very depressing.
I'd imagine, yeah.
Why?
I don't know.
I remember one I just spent doing bong rips with a Chinese girl who couldn't speak English.
I was actually kind of chill.
I'll take the red one.
That sounds pretty sad still.
How was the weed that you were hitting?
Oh, yeah.
What's the Chinese bud like?
It's bad, but that's what makes it perfect.
Wait.
I feel like having a good look at that crack.
No crack.
There's literally no crack.
Brent has no crack, Donnie.
He's crackless.
Donnie's crack heavy.
Pick it up.
You got to pick it up. I think I know what it is.
Put it in front of you.
Of course your Neanderthal brain picks the biggest.
Pick it up.
I know what it isn't for sure, but I might know what it is.
Not AirPods.
Pick it up, put know exactly. I know what it isn't for sure, but I might know what it is. Not AirPods. It's kind of heavy.
Pick it up.
Put it in front of you.
Peter's bringing in a giant charcuterie board.
So we can open it.
He did.
Hell yeah.
Are you going to unwrap it over there?
Right there?
Well, he's making more.
Donnie is?
Tell him we're not eating any of it.
Oh, my God.
He's going to knock his nog over.
Watch the nog.
Oh, Jesus.
He's pretty strong.
That's incredible shoulder strength.
That was really impressive.
I'm impressed.
Yeah, good job, Brandon.
Well, y'all saw me outlift Stephen Chay that one time.
Yeah, not as fat as I thought.
Thank you for the nod, guys.
Donnie.
Donnie, Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Or Hanukkah.
Hanukkah.
You're a Christmas guy, aren't you?
Both.
Both.
There's a couple boths in this world.
Here we go.
Here we go.
What the hell?
The TVs keep going up.
I don't know, but the music's whimsical.
It is whimsical.
It's a big fucking box.
It's a big box.
You think it's mine, don't you? No, I don't know. I think yours is the right one, actually. Huh. It is whimsical. It's a big fucking box. It's a big box. You think it's mine, don't you?
No, I don't know.
I think yours is the right one, actually.
Huh.
I have no idea.
Shout out to Spider for the rap job.
Pretty good.
That's tough.
That's impressive.
Roan.
Yep.
Okay, Roan.
You're stuck in Native American.
Yeah.
It's all I hear now.
It's the only thing I hear when he talks.
Where's Rome going?
Spitting the trash can?
You've got a real dad walk to you right now.
Yeah.
They're just in the same wrapping paper.
I think they're separate.
Ooh, nice.
That one's easy.
Medium-sized.
Doesn't look too heavy.
Oh, my God.
This eggnog is so good.
It's heavy.
Oh, boy.
That right on top of Brandon's big old box.
Spider, what the heck?
Seriously, Spider, you really shouldn't have.
Spider's the fucking man.
Do y'all know that?
Yes, he really is.
He's got such a good attitude.
He's nice even when he's having a bad time.
I was the only person here that did not make him wrap my gift.
You made Katie.
You made Katie wrap it.
Exactly.
And the point of him wrapping them is so
you don't know which one's yours. I know.
What are you getting Katie for Christmas?
I just give her cash.
How much? $500.
That's pretty good. Is that okay?
She works pretty hard. $500?
What's that, like $0.50
a desk? I do!
Don't do that to me.
She's getting $1,000
from me. Well, I'll give her... $500 for Katie She's getting $1,000 from me.
Well, I'll give her...
$500 for Katie?
Give her $1,100.
Is that how you guys are?
I've never gotten that much from anyone.
Well, my life isn't the same without you.
If I made your life better this year, let me know.
Easier?
Are you tasking up for anybody, though?
When was the last time you did a task for someone?
I don't deserve it because I don't do
things for other people. No, you make my life easier.
I don't do things.
I'll pay him.
You do not task.
That's your one rule. I don't task.
Never task.
Alright, spin it.
In return
for that though, no one could ever yell at you and be like
shut the fuck up KB
Do what I want you to do
I kinda want
I kinda want Brandon's big box
Take the big box
Hey
I mean no
Give him my big box
I'm assuming that's your big box
I don't know
You do
I don't because I gave it to Spider
I gave Spider
We all gave it to Spider loose
I didn't give anything to Spider in a box
I gave him loose stuff
Oh My gift
could reasonably fit in
multiple of these boxes.
I'll take Steven's
gift. Good pick.
That means it can only
be taken one more time?
Is that true? Are we adding that rule into it? One more time
before they're unwrapped.
Before they're unwrapped.
Steven, bring me that box.
Does Steven go and grab another one?
Steven grabs another one.
Steven grabs another one.
Put that box right there, baby.
I just don't want you to take my table.
Yeah, I know this table.
It's at least good for a table.
I'll take this festive light blue.
What if it was a table?
That would be fine.
That'd be a good gift.
You just unwrap it, and it's that?
Yeah.
Oh, jeez.
Heavy as fuck?
Is that heavy?
Notice I moved this big box a lot easier than the small box.
Just from the outside looking in, these are some great presents.
Yeah, we did really good.
They look awesome.
Thank you, guys.
Better than my usual.
Big presents are fun.
You feel good about that one, Steven?
Native American.
I'm like, is he fucking with me or is it my head now?
I can't tell.
It's like slipping in one word.
Everything I hear.
Presents are fun.
Oh, no.
It's going to be KB, but I love this palette.
Great palette.
Nick.
Oh, Nick.
A little trickery.
There's a big one behind you, too.
Tricky Nicky.
I feel like people are forgetting that one.
Yeah, I'm going to take that one.
Holy shit.
I know.
I didn't even notice that.
I wish, as soon as I started talking, I was like, Kate, shut up, because that's the one
I've had my eyes on.
It's heavy as fuck.
Oh, grab it.
Oh, God damn it.
Well, we're trading, so.
That's some great gifts.
I'm very excited to unwrap these.
That was so close.
Holy shit.
That's got to be a $500 crossbow.
Oh my God.
You have no idea how close that was to your knot.
How could that be anything but a crossbow?
That does look like what a crossbow would come in.
All right.
Another gift. Okay. Another gift.
Okay.
Another spin.
Do you guys have that one gift
that stands out to you
like from growing up
like this was the one
that was the fucking best?
PlayStation.
PlayStation, yeah.
Mine was those chairs
that rock back.
They're kind of shaped
like a capital J
and I put it in front of my N64
and it was just a...
Oh, the gamer chairs?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad gave me... Tommy in front of my N64. Oh, the gamer chairs?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
My dad gave me... I'm telling me one of those this Christmas.
They're great.
My dad gave me a PlayStation holder.
Oh, like the...
And played it off for like a half hour.
He's like, you said you wanted a PlayStation.
Like that plastic thing?
Yeah, and I was like, this isn't a PlayStation.
He's like, you said PlayStation.
I went and got you a PlayStation.
He finally gave it to me.
I would have pouted so hard.
Oh, tortured.
That explains a lot of who you are.
It does.
It does.
As he was saying, I was like, yeah, you know what?
It absolutely does.
It's something I will do to my kids.
Yeah.
You said you wanted it.
Yeah, he just said PlayStation on the box.
It's a PlayStation holder.
He's like, PlayStation.
It says PlayStation.
That's what you wanted.
I don't know what it is.
I remember Rollerblades was a big one.
My Nintendo and Ike system.
Ike with pegs.
Ah.
What's this song?
I like this.
This is some twee shit.
Is that Rome singing?
This is like the kind of music you see on the Dodo, those animal videos.
Oh, my God, it is.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh.
Oh, the first person to go for a small package.
All right, there's Kate.
Kate's there.
Look at Zaw, the first person to pick this small game. Look at Zaw The first person to pick this small gift
Look at that
Okay
I'll be damned
I'll be damned
Okay
It might be Sass's
It might be
I feel like the more expensive gifts are smaller
I know, I agree
The junk is big I think Connor should get Sass's gift It might be. I feel like the more expensive gifts are smaller. I know. I agree.
The junk is big.
I think Connor should get Sass's gift.
Oh, yeah.
That's a good call.
Connor, you get Sass's gift.
Done.
Yeah. He just has to say a couple words on the mic.
Connor, sit in Steven's seat, too.
Just give us some Jim Florentine-esque.
Just sit in Steven's seat.
Talk for a little bit.
Am I on?
Yeah.
Oh.
Sit in Steven's seat so you're up there.
Okay.
We have him read a Christmas thing or something.
Yeah, like.
Connors is a great behind the scenes.
Great.
He does everything for us.
And he's also part of the strongest pipeline to Barstool.
And State.
And State pipeline.
We all.
Anthem of Uruguay.
Yeah.
Thank you guys very much.
He's a delightful guy.
All right.
So put Con.
Was Sass on the wheel?
He was not. All right. Put Connorightful guy. All right, so put Connor. Was Sass on the wheel? He was not.
All right, put Connor on the wheel.
That evens things out nicely.
My face is hot.
I'm pretty drunk.
I'm telling you, my limbs.
I feel it in my arms and legs.
They're like jelly.
I didn't realize it was whiskey, rum, and brandy.
This is a recipe for the
worst hangover ever.
Whoever came up with this is just a sicko.
The Dutch, dude.
The Amish, yeah. Some like bowl-cutted
fucking Amish.
The Amish drink?
Definitely.
We're always getting in trouble out there.
They get DUIs.
Yeah, on their horses.
On their buggies and shit, yeah.
They steal broads.
Oh, they steal broads.
Oh, for sure.
Bro, they steal broads.
You never watched Breaking Amish?
A man with a horse?
Or like that Amish playground?
A dude did a, he staged a broad stealing on his space last night.
He staged it?
It was so cringe.
It wasn't staged.
What'd he do? Staged a broad stealing. You did not say? He staged it? It was so cringe. It wasn't staged. What'd he do?
Staged a broad stealing.
You did not say that was cringe.
How dare you say that?
It's not staged.
Can we see it?
No, I mean.
Well, did he end up with the broad?
Sure.
He said, slide my DMs later, babe.
Okay.
Woo.
Bingo bongo.
Yeah.
He was a horny one.
Great rack. Very horny one Great rack
Very horny guy
He said something about
Getting it in on a Monday
Yeah
Makes the week start
Nothing like getting it in
Right
With a honey baby
A honey
Yeah
I love how it pisses people off
They're like
You don't get pussy
Well it's the perfect internet
Why are you upset
People are like
Not you
No way
No
You aren't
No Not you You ruined their day He pisses people off But he's also not joking Why are you upset? People are like, not you. No way. If you know, you aren't. No, not you.
You ruined their day.
He pisses people off, but he's also not joking.
No.
It's the perfect setup.
There's no character.
Yeah.
This job, you can speak it into existence.
Crazy is what sells.
Yes.
He's crazy.
You can 100% speak it into existence.
In a great way.
He and Rico doing a podcast.
The only way that my boyfriend's listening to this podcast
when he actually just hung up the phone with me to study.
Oh, get out.
Who's your boyfriend?
Call that motherfucker out.
Ben Biles.
Dan, you scumbag.
Why are you lying to your girlfriend to come in here, man?
Holy shit. Unbelievable. Dan, you scumbag why are you lying to your girlfriend to come in here holy shit unbelievable Dan you scumbag
hey I'm gonna have to steal you from Dan
Belle what's up with you where are you at
I'm from Michigan in Lansing
told me that my boyfriend's
listening to this podcast
what was crazy about that
that was Rizzy
her voice is hot
really hot a hot girl voice what are we talking about Her voice is hot. Yep, I'll say it. Really hot.
That was dumb, Rizzy.
A hot girl voice.
What are we talking about?
He sounded smooth as hell there.
How's that for your lower back, Steve?
Taking a little bit of pressure off?
Nice, that's nice.
I don't know why I picked this.
The ultimate Nadeau move there was the guy's name was Ben.
He goes, oh, Dan.
Dan, yeah.
If it was a setup, he would have said the right name.
Right, right.
That's a good point.
That was an intentional move.
I care a little about your boyfriend.
I don't remember his three-letter name.
That's smart.
Hey.
Connor.
Getting down to the bags.
We wish you a Merry Christmas
Alright Kate
The Grinch
Who me?
Oh
The second one to go first
No once you touch it
It's a chest piece
It's heavy
That's a...
This is just a bottle.
Oh, here we go.
Oh, my God.
Here we go.
Who could this be?
Who could this be?
Who could this possibly be?
Oh, my God.
It's the Empire State Building. Yay. Yay.
Oh.
Oh.
Yay. Oh, my God.
Empire State.
Wow.
Turn on the lights.
Wow.
Yay.
Hi, Empire State Building.
Wow.
Woo.
The Empire State Building.
What the heck?
What a surprise.
Wow.
Just as is Christmas tradition, the Empire
State Building visits us on the Friday
before Christmas.
Wow, Empire State Building.
Telling me he's going to do this.
So Empire State Building,
we're going to finish giving out the gifts, then maybe
you can tell
Tyler, who I haven't talked to
yet, to come in
and crew us in about 10 minutes.
All right, Empire State Building.
All right.
Who knows who that guy is under there?
Wow.
Is this the biggest celebrity ever in Barstool?
Yes.
Yak history for sure.
Yak is the biggest.
Oh, no.
He's savage.
He's getting out.
Empire State Building.
Oh, what the fuck?
Empire State Building.
Ah!
He just lost his top.
What just happened? Wow. Oh, what the fuck? Empire State Building. Ah! He just lost his top. What just happened?
Wow.
Oh, man.
It was great to see the Empire State Building.
I loved that.
Yeah, that was fun.
You never know what's going to happen on a yak Christmas.
On the way back from Providence At the train station
I put cheese in my mouth
Excuse me
On the way back from Providence
At the train station
Frank the Tank came up to me
And showed me a picture of
The Empire State Building
On O'Day's account
And he was like
I think that's O'Day
What?
No, never seen
No
Couldn't have been
It could have been O'Day
I talked him out of it
That was just The Empire State Building.
What the hell?
Oh, man.
All right, let's finish giving out the game.
That was awesome.
That was awesome.
That was awesome.
That's a big star.
And we'll have whoever.
Again, it's not Tyler, just so everyone's clear.
Tyler's still yet to come.
That was just. What do you mean? That was Tyler's still yet to come. That was just, that was, what do you mean?
That was a building.
Not a man.
That was ESB.
That was ESB.
Yeah.
That was ESB.
Who hasn't had a Christmas where ESB showed up?
Who's more famous, the Empire State Building or LeBron?
Oh.
Empire State Building.
Oh, LeBron.
Dead and alive people? I think it's the Empire State Building or LeBron? Oh. Empire State Building. Oh, LeBron. Dead and alive people?
I think it's the Empire State Building.
It's both of those two-man race.
One's a building and one's alive.
Oh, no, no.
You don't understand what I'm asking.
Who would be better at basketball?
Oh, between.
Counting dead people as well.
Amongst the world now, yeah.
Yeah.
Counting dead people.
Counting dead people.
That's not fair, though.
Someone from 1970 doesn't know who LeBron is.
Right. That's not fair. They don Someone from 1970 doesn't know who LeBron is.
That's not fair. They don't know who the Empire State Building is.
Everybody who was alive in 1945 knows who the Empire State Building is.
Well, maybe not everyone.
Most.
You son of a bitch.
You're taking my tall one.
I don't know which one to take.
You nasty piece of shit.
I don't know which one to take.
I saw you eyeing it up.
There's still three gifts right here.
Listen, I'm not going to say, Connor, you're going to lose your job if you take any of our gifts, but you're fucking fired.
Right.
You're on thin ice.
For sure.
Yeah.
Motherfucker!
God damn it, that was smart by him.
This man has no fear.
Punch the biggest guy in the prison yard in the face.
Hell yes.
Annie.
Yeah.
You take Brandon's big boy.
You can take up to...
So that one can't be...
Wait.
Connors can't be taken, right?
Because that was the second time.
Connors can't be taken until it's unwrapped.
Yeah, then it can be taken.
Steven, I would like yours again.
Okay.
He's going to play bully ball on Steven's gift the whole time.
Make him come get it.
No, no, no.
Put it right there, please.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Am I some sort of asshole?
Am I some sort of jerk-off?
No.
Jay, this part's kind of pointless.
Hey.
Depends on how you sit down nice.
Yeah, that'll be nice.
Kyle, you haven't even picked one yet.
Wow, Injust.
Okay.
Fuck you, Pete.
I hate Pete.
He's the worst.
A very pleasant palette.
Come on, KB.
Let's go, KB.
Against each other.
You never want that in palates.
But it's also two initials.
This is easy.
That.
The big one.
I'll take my table.
You've got to bring it to him, Brandon.
The quickest decision made.
Oh, Brandon, you look fat again.
Yeah.
There's your pussy.
That box is doing wonders for you.
Oh, God.
Here comes nothing.
That's crazy.
The smoothness of the lower back.
Genetic anomaly.
Very strange.
What the fuck is your...
You'd be an awful plumber.
Yeah.
I want my money back.
I got this one now.
That's a big box, Kyle.
Shouldn't just somebody take...
Plumber's crack or your money back?
That's a big box for...
Oh, you know I love you to death, right?
Nope, I was still next.
That's going to be mine.
Oh, Nick.
I'm getting it.
I'm getting it.
Come try to grab it from me. Nick, you have the bag. No, I'm taking the big thing. Oh, you. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. Come try to grab it from me.
Nick, you have the bag.
No, I'm taking the big thing.
Oh, you can do that?
Yeah.
I thought it could get stolen again until...
You can't steal after a steal.
Yeah, you take off there because there's one left.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You can't steal off a steal.
Oh, you can't steal off a steal.
He's not stealing off a steal because there's been another turn since then.
No, no.
TJ just stole his. You can't steal off a steal? No. He another turn since then. No. TJ just stole his.
You can't steal off a steal?
No.
He has to take the bag.
After yours gets stolen, you have to pick from the remaining box.
From the pile, yeah.
I'm lying.
Yeah.
I think KB's actually right.
There are no rules.
I was just looking at this on Wikipedia.
Yeah.
Weirdly.
Yeah.
Weirdly, I was too.
I'll take the bag.
No.
You have no choice, you bitch.
It's not even a good bag.
You dumb slut.
Is that the last one?
It is the last one, so now we open.
Do we open or should we see if Tyler's here?
There's no way he's here, right?
I don't know.
I don't see him.
Only a building.
That's just his voice now.
I don't see him.
I'm going to take a piss and I'll see if Tyler's here.
Then we let's croon and then open.
What's eggnog piss going to look like?
I don't know.
I'm so thick.
Oh, boy.
Like pancake batter.
You just try to piss and you diarrhea.
Yeah, that's right.
Let's get Danny some booze.
Danny's got booze.
Peter North Pole.
What?
Where'd that come from?
You could have waited.
We would have brought up dicks eventually.
Fuck you, Pete.
Stupid fucking bag.
Do you guys see the Pete merch?
Oh, there's not Pete merch.
Is that actual merch, though?
I thought somebody just kind of...
Live event Lisa made it for all of Pete's people.
Aw.
Let me get it.
Live Event.
Live Event Lisa.
She has the perfect first name for her job.
Yep.
What a weird last name.
It don't make no sense.
What's your guys' favorite Christmas song?
Well, is it religious or is it just straight Santa?
Both.
Oh, holy night.
People separate them that way?
Yeah, I think so.
Religious and Santa.
Yeah, no?
Yeah, that's fine.
I like that.
I like Oh, Holy Night, and I just like the classic Santa Claus is Coming to Town.
That's my two.
Do you like the Bruce Springsteen one?
Not really. Okay. I don't mind it. Claus is coming to town. That's my two. Do you like the Bruce Springsteen one?
Not really.
Okay.
I don't mind it.
You live in Jersey now.
You got to.
No, I don't.
I don't have to pretend to like Bruce Springsteen.
He kind of stinks.
Little Drummer Boy would be my Jesus one.
Then I don't know what my Santa Claus one.
I saw this mega church. The Night Santa Went Crazy by Weird Al.
Oh, that's a good one.
Classic.
Those mega churches do Little Drummer Boy,
and they have the strings with actual teenage boys
way above the church,
like 10 of them coming down, drumming in the sky.
I like that.
Yeah.
I fuck with that heavily.
My church used to put Baby Jesus on a string
from the choir loft.
And they used to like zip line him like down to this major.
The baby?
Yeah.
Was he an acrobat?
He was coming down to be born.
The baby was zip lining?
It wasn't a real baby.
It was like a.
I thought it was just an unbaptized.
No.
It was like a.
What do they call those things?
Nativity scene.
Jesus.
A living nativity.
Like a.
But the baby wasn't real.
We didn't zip line a real baby.
Oh, I thought.
It was like a nativity, like plastic baby.
That never worked out well for Owen Hart.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, come on, Steven.
Fucking Christmas.
That shit scarred me when I was a kid.
Can't be an edgelord on Christmas.
Is that live?
Oh, yeah.
It was a pay-per-view.
I got the pay-per-view.. I got the pay-per-view.
My dad's my birthday.
It was May 23rd.
Oh, my God.
Yay!
Did you see?
The Empire State Building was here earlier?
No, I had no clue.
Whoa.
What the hell?
Good to have you back, dude.
I've missed you.
Todd.
Congrats on all your successes.
I'm doing good.
Not to say that I haven't missed everyone here, but I'm doing fine.
But I greatly appreciate the invitation back.
You don't want to come back?
I'm okay.
Have you developed a Tyler O'Day-like character amongst your co-workers at the Empire State Building?
There's no character.
Have you developed a reputation?
I think so, yeah.
Were you allowed to wear short shorts this summer?
No, it was the sweatiest summer of my life.
That sucks.
What's summer without Tyler O'Day short shorts?
For the rest of society, that's a step in the right direction.
I disagree with that.
What's this guy doing right here?
He's just checking it out.
He's just getting on our level.
What's going on here?
Is that your team?
No, no.
I have Erica in the booth from the Empire State Building.
What kind of events have you guys been throwing?
I feel like every time I look at social media.
What's this guy doing here?
Who are we talking about?
There's a guy sitting right there in that chair.
You don't see him?
No.
Stand up.
He's fine.
He's watching.
He's just watching the show.
Who's that guy?
He's very close.
Yes. He's just at your level. He's at. Yeah, who's that guy? He's very close. Yes.
He's just at your level.
He's at your exact eye level, which is probably what's unsettling.
You don't know this guy?
No, you didn't.
Tyler, what do you want to do first?
I thought we could do the list first.
Do you know Santa Baby?
Sure, yeah.
You want me to do Santa Baby?
Maybe just to start.
Just to kick it up?
Just to get us warmed up?
We have some eggnog.
Do you need some eggnog?
Would that help or hurt?
I'll take some eggnog, sure.
We have a couple extra.
We have double cups, yeah.
Bottles?
Extra bottles?
I got some cups.
Throw me a cup.
You got a double cup there, I think.
Everybody's got a double cup.
And we started singing Santa Baby.
We don't know the words.
Okay, throw.
I'm happy.
It's the sexiest song in the world.
Ever.
Yeah.
Ever.
I'm going to stand off because you're
sitting but I'll come get it
everybody get your boners
yeah no wait you should
be serving him because he's the guest Brandon
getting up no him
he just said he's the guest so he'll get up
which it should have been the opposite you should be
you should be pampering him
how comfortable I am no we should be
pampering him though he's our guest right. We should be pampering him, though. He's our guest right now.
He's our entertainment.
How many people have leapt since you've worked there?
Zero.
Nice, dude.
Congratulations.
You take a great pride.
Hopefully that's right.
You're doing a damn good job.
As of Christmas Eve,
it's zero.
You're calling your shot.
Clean slate guaranteed.
It would be a real shame.
Someone threw off the numbers.
We have a really impressionable fan base.
Me too.
And they love to hate us.
How's Sidney Bunchaff doing?
Dr. Sidney Bunchaff. Yeah? Dr. Sidney Bunchaff.
Yeah, Dr. Sidney Bunchaff.
She's doing great.
She just moved into her own apartment.
Really?
Yeah.
A little late.
She's a doctor.
Think about how much that costs.
She's doing well.
She may make an appearance on the list.
She was texting me last night.
She was very curious about her ranking.
Remember that story you told me off the record? I did,
yeah.
What was the story?
He can't say it. It's off the record.
It's always off the record or it was just told off the record?
I'll just say this.
One of the members of the
O'Daniacs top 50 list
listened and it
was quite something what we said about
that person. Oh, fuck.
I won't tell any more details.
I'll tell you guys after.
She was...
Oh, you just... She or he.
They. Yeah.
Were offended.
Very. Very offended.
It's an honor to be on the list.
It wasn't about being on the list.
It was, as always, the conversation that comes with being on the list.
Terry Shivo?
No.
Certainly wasn't her.
She famously...
Was she sexualized?
She was sexualized.
Yes.
Is she on this list?
Oh, Jesus.
Oh, no.
What's happening?
Is she on this list? Is she cramping? She's got the egg What's happening? Is she on this list?
Is she on this list?
Is she cramping?
He's got the eggnog diarrhea.
Is he on this list?
By the way, Ron's almost done his body.
Is he on this list?
Yeah.
Is there a chance of it happening again?
Well, yeah.
Uh-oh.
I tried to warn the proper international authorities, but...
Oh, international.
Oh, no.
It's been so long, some people might not know about the O'Daniacs
or who Tyler even is.
Oh, good point, TJ.
That's good producing.
Tyler O'Day, also known as Todd, worked at Barstool for five, six years?
Four and a half.
Four and a half.
Let's round up to five.
Five, yeah.
He's a part of Barstool sports, did a lot of the social,
is an amazing singer.
And he also had a list that he would do on the Yak back in the day, once a month.
The O'Daniacs.
Who is just best humans out there for Tyler O'Day.
The people that are most important to him.
Terri Schiavo was a very funny moment we had.
She made the O'Daniacs list.
Who else was on it?
Who were some of the...
I mean, Big Cat was a top four.
I got panned her too.
Several times.
Cody Lanza.
Cody Lanza.
Gaz.
Gaz.
Yeah, so it was just a ranking.
Who'd have been was on the list.
Who'd have been was on one of the earlier ones.
Yeah.
Had a, you know, falling out.
Falling out, yeah.
Yeah, but it...
I think that hurt him.
Yeah, either way, the list was...
It took Twitter by storm.
People waited with bated breath.
And people quibbled over being on it.
People, yeah, lobbied for a position, jockeyed.
The groveling doesn't help.
No.
No.
No, I found that out.
Yeah.
But yeah, Tyler's a great friend of the show.
His integrity is beyond repute, though he is a part of barstool lore.
I think, what happened on your first day?
You went into Dave's office and asked for a raise
or something like that?
I asked for a 300% raise.
Your first day, and he didn't allow it or something?
In my defense, gas prices were high.
Yeah, at that time.
Thanks, Obama.
It was Obama's fault.
He said no, I quit,
and then Gaz was gracious enough to
have me back after I graduated.
You're an asshole.
You did it on purpose.
He did it on purpose.
I'm not looking. What a dick.
I kicked the...
I was trying to...
Like a dog or something.
He also, Tyler, then left Barstool
to work for the Empire
State Building.
Dave famously was like, we can't be losing our top guys to concrete.
Then we cyber bullied the Empire State Building for a while.
Did we end up losing that battle?
I think so, because we went, every now and then I'll still see a post and I'll just do a quick thumbs down on the Empire State Building.
Just let everyone know, I still don't fuck with this building.
But Tyler actually let us go up there for a video.
What did we see?
Like six months ago?
Yeah, I think it was cold.
Yeah.
Did you do some work with Loud Sean as well?
Yeah, we just had the PFL there two weeks ago.
Oh, most famous person you've met?
Liz Truss when she was prime minister for four days.
Tyler's
also very big into politics if you can't tell.
What's the most important
or most famous person you've met that we actually
care about? Probably
That was a terrible answer, no offense.
Thanks.
Probably Blake Lively.
Come on.
Alright.
How do you do trust before Blake? You can't trust before Blake. Probably Blake Lively. Come on. All right. Okay. Okay.
How do you do trust before Blake Lively? You can't trust before Blake.
That's crazy.
Serena Vanderlutzen.
You get accepted.
Who else?
Give us one.
You can't trust him, man.
You get to actually talk to him?
Yeah, we're a pretty small department, so we kind of help escort those visitors, and
generally what we try to do is do some type of social content with them.
So we work with their teams and make it happen.
Who did you hit it off with the most?
Who did you walk away being like?
Corbin Blue from High School Musical.
Of course.
Does he still have a lot of volume?
Where?
His hair.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Now, here's another question about this.
I would imagine this is a competitive space,
so have you been headhunted by the Willis Tower, the Space Needle,
other buildings in North America that being like, oh, we need O'Day?
Something Khalifa?
Yeah.
Wiz.
Mia Khalifa.
Thank you.
Well, certainly.
Yeah.
Have I been headhunted?
No, not by other buildings, no.
That'd be funny.
I've already hit the pinnacle.
I don't think so.
What's more famous than...
Well, I'm not getting into this argument.
Space Needle.
Liberty Bell.
Space Needle is pretty cool.
The Rack.
The Rack.
No, not the Rack.
What's the one in Toronto?
That's another need.
CN Tower.
CN Tower.
I would work at the CN Tower over Empire State Building.
They have a glass floor. It's cool.
And a restaurant there. A spinning restaurant, right?
Big Ben.
Big Ben would dominate Eiffel Tower.
Eiffel Tower dominates you.
I don't think so.
I know, sir.
The Empire State Building
is the world's most photographed building.
How do you know that?
You don't know that.
They aggregate those things.
Who does?
No, no, no.
They.
Same person who we offended on the list, that they.
Oh.
Oh.
Bass Pro Shop.
Oh, the Bass Pro Shop.
The Bass Pro Shop comes in and says, Tyler, we're going to quadruple your salary.
You're not hanging up. You're headed to Memphis.
Is this your boss in here? You're walking to Memphis right now.
No, Erica is our
senior events manager
at the Empire State Building.
You would listen to the Bass Pro Shop
building? I think anyone who wouldn't listen to the
Bass Pro Shop's building is just rude.
TJ, can you change Tyler O'Day's title
and take out the parentheses?
So do Tyler O'Day dash Empire State Building employee, then parentheses, for now.
For now.
Until a better offer.
Until a better offer.
Is it about the financials or the prestige of the building?
I think it's a perfect storm of both.
Okay.
Have you worked your way up from the 12th floor?
No, I have not. Yeah, it's like are you tits. Okay. Have you worked your way up from the 12th floor? No, I have not.
Yeah, it's like are you tits or ass?
Are you height or girth in your building?
They've got you on 12th.
Well, here's a little known fact.
My desk is not actually in the Empire State Building.
What?
Oh, my goodness.
You work there every day?
Do you go there every day?
Yeah, usually.
It's across the street, so it's not really.
Oh, no, Tyler.
They won't even let you in the building?
That's brutal.
How much are you regretting coming here?
Not at all.
I was actually very flattered that you asked.
Yeah, no, I had to ask.
You're one of our special.
He does have to current, though.
I know.
I want to hear the lyrics, but I really want to.
All right, give me a second to look up
the lyrics. I don't know them off the top of my head.
It's Santa Baby, Will You Let Me Rape You Tonight.
Yeah.
It's also in Baby It's Cold Outside.
I wish we had done the present so he could come bursting
out of the box while he did it.
He's got it up on the screen there.
TJ's gotten good at this.
He's always been good.
Santa Baby. Oh, come on!
Rip a sable under the tree for me.
He's been working on it.
Uh-huh.
Been an awful good building since.
Don't do that.
I'll put it down the chimney tonight.
Oh, yeah.
I feel bad for anyone who's listening to this in good headphones.
That's real nice.
We got the headphones.
Santa baby, a 54 convertible too.
All right.
Light blue.
Come on.
I'll wait up for you, dear Santa baby.
That's a building song. So hurry down the chimney tonight.
A lot of horny people now.
A lot of horny people.. A lot of horny people.
It's the horniest song.
Think of all
the fun I've missed.
Think of all
the fellows that I
haven't kissed.
As a building.
Next year, if you could be just
as good.
If you'll check off my Christmas list.
That's a clit.
Santa.
I really want a yacht.
And that's not a lot.
Not at all.
Been an angel all year.
Santa baby.
So hurry down the chimney
tonight
what a pro
is that enough or am I doing this whole thing
a little bit more it sounded so good
Santa honey
one little thing I really
do need
a deed
controlled fire
Santa baby
so hurry down the chimney
tonight
oh Jesus
Santa cutie
and fill my stocking with
a duplex and checks
written in the British way, interesting
sign your X on the line,
Santa cutie,
and hurry down the chimney
tonight.
Oh, Jesus.
This one
has innuendo.
Come and trim
my Christmas tree
with some
decorations bought at Tiffany.
This is greedy now.
I really do believe in you.
Let's see if you believe in me.
A baby forgot to mention one little thing.
A ring.
Hey.
I don't mean on the phone, Santa baby.
So hurry down the chimney tonight.
You know how they say after the Super Bowl, nine months later, a bunch of babies are born?
Yeah.
It's going to happen after this show airs.
Oh, yeah. I need to procreate. After the Super Bowl, nine months later, a bunch of babies are born. It's going to happen after this show airs.
Hurry.
Tonight.
Wow.
How'd you get so much better?
It was the fervent bullying of the Reddit class that made me really start taking my time.
Hell yeah.
Love it.
Song one of 47.
I do have to make note.
When we did the Christmas album
TJ was the lead producer on that
So this is really
Oh wow
Full circle
An artistic callback
To the same thing we did then
Which was YouTube
Karaoke instrumentals
But you made sure to point out
That TJ's gotten good
Since you left
So did he suck back then?
Oh terribly
That went platinum right?
Yeah
Yes multi-platinum
Nice
Only in Azerbaijan
But yes I put OKB Multi-platinum. Nice. Only in Azerbaijan, but yes.
Capital KB.
Multi-platinum.
Habakku.
Post building?
Probably some big ones there.
Yeah.
I was saying, I said I think the Empire State Building is more famous than LeBron James.
I think he'd probably be right.
Wow.
What if we did dead people too?
Never been asked.
I think I might start doing that with all the like who's more famous.
Yeah.
Dead people.
What about all the dead people?
Most people are dead.
That's true.
That's true.
It's big if true.
Whoa.
Yeah.
I'm just saying.
The majority of people are dead.
Most people are dead. Fuck, man. I'm just saying. The majority of people are dead. Most people are dead.
Fuck, man.
Not us, though.
This is airing on Friday.
So one of us could be dead by then.
If we've...
We have to air this still if it happens to somebody.
KB?
You saw us.
Are you all alright, man?
I don't know what that means.
Am I last?
Yeah.
Oh, Brandon hasn't done it yet.
What does that mean?
I'm good.
KB wants it.
He'll go if he goes.
He's ready to die.
You've never heard of nose goes?
No.
Yeah.
Never heard of that.
Some Yankee shit.
It's like last one to do it dies,
essentially.
So, Nick, now you have to die, actually.
If you're like, oh, someone go grab the beer out of the garage.
Nose goes.
Then you'd have to go get the beer out of the garage.
He still hasn't touched his nose.
That was a hypothetical.
Why do you hate your nose?
Why are you not touching your nose?
Sorry, geez.
It's okay, KB.
It's okay.
KB's not drinking the alcohol kind.
No.
That's clean.
Sober.
That's K. Clean living. Sober. That's K.
He's K.
Should we get into the
Odaniacs? We should get the gifts open.
No, let's do
these actual gifts.
I think Tyler's got actually a life to live,
so let's go Odaniacs, one more song,
and then we'll say goodbye to Tyler, and then we'll finish
with gifts. Is this a full 50?
Oh, yeah.
You think I'd wait 14 months to go half in? Have you really been gone and then we'll say goodbye to Tyler and then we'll finish with gifts. Is this a full 50? Oh, yeah. Oh, come on.
Come on.
You think I'd wait 14 months to go half in?
Have you really been gone for 14 months?
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
Damn, dude.
It feels like you've been right here, though.
And who among us hasn't passed you on a bike or driving around?
I saw fights yesterday outside.
There you have it.
Are you worried that Blattman has completely supplanted you as fattest ass in the office?
Oh, it's so juicy.
What?
Am I worried?
Yeah.
Why would I worry about that?
I don't know.
You're crying.
Yeah, you're done.
He can have the fattest ass.
I'm not here anymore.
All right, newcomer of the year, Julio.
Oh, my word.
Yeah, it's quite a fat ass.
I'm trucking.
He's winning newcomer of the year for fat ass in the office.
Is that a superlative? Yeah, yeah's white a fat ass. I'm truck. He's winning newcomer of the year for fat ass in the office. Is that a superlative?
Yeah, yeah.
It is.
The fattest ass, the newest fat ass.
Newest fattest ass.
You would win oldest fattest ass.
Yeah.
That's what I've always been after.
Okay.
Lomos are here.
Oh, shit.
Lomos are here.
I forgot I ordered them.
Oh, my belly's so full of nog.
Oh, damn it.
My stomach feels so weird right now.
It does, man.
I don't even want the Lomo.
You want it?
Go ahead, take it.
I'm going to bring him in.
What is a Lomo?
It's a Peruvian dish.
Peruvian dish, yeah.
I'll probably eat it.
It's like beef and french fries in a good sauce.
I'll eat it.
I'll eat it.
And veggies.
So anything we need to know, prefacing this list, any honorable mentions, any music that
you want in the background?
Something scene setting? I would love
I guess it should be Christmas,
right? Yeah. Okay.
What's the
song that the Ukrainian
National Choir sings? That's a classic.
That is. Yeah, what is that song?
It's the one that
Peter Griffin sings when he's working at McDonald's.
Ding, fries are done
Carol of the Bells
Carol of the Bells by the Ukrainian
Tyler
We need some sort of warning
If we can't sexualize the person
So we need a code word
I'll say
I'll
I'll scream
Pineapple But you don't know I know I'll say, I'll scream pineapple.
Yep, that's perfect.
No, but you don't know.
I know.
Oh, you do?
You know all the potentially sexualized names on this list?
There's only one.
I'll scream pineapple.
And everyone get in line.
I don't want it right now.
I'll eat it later.
I can't.
Just leave it in the bag.
Fuck, no.
Put it on top of the presents.
All right, here we go.
Oh, this is kind of dark.
It'll turn up.
Alright.
Jesus Christ.
There we go.
There we go, TJ. Thank you.
Alright, number 50. And again, it's a great
honor to be back here.
Thank you.
Merry Christmas.
Number 50.
That was you.
What? What is wrong with you guys? Stop opening everything. Merry Christmas. Number 50. That was you. That was you.
What?
What is wrong with you guys?
Stop opening everything.
That was like in Home Alone.
That was a Home Alone moment.
Oh, no.
What the hell is that, a cake?
Open the bag like that. What's wrong with you guys?
It's staple.
Open the bag.
What's wrong with you?
Don't put that on me.
Lomo everywhere. Oh, that's so sad. And the bag. I don't like you. That's a Lomo. Don't put that on me. Lomo everywhere.
Oh, that's so sad.
Add omen.
Add omen.
And the menorah's over.
Add omen for the Omen.
Pick up the menorah.
There's a bad luck.
Pick it up.
When does Hanukkah start?
I don't know.
Is it already going?
There it is.
There's the crack.
There it is.
It's hot.
It's hot.
It's centimeters from whole.
Are you going to clean it?
It's centimeters from whole. I'm afraid to clean it? Centimeters from whole.
I'm afraid we're going to see the whole asshole.
I can't even look.
That is Hank Hill.
That is Hank Hill ass.
It's wider at the fucking hips than it is at the anus.
That looked delicious, too.
It's a shame.
I'm good, thank you.
There's quite some more if you'd like some. It's a shame. I'm good, thank you.
There's quite some more if you'd like some. It's a little carpet charcuterie.
Oh, no.
A little bit of chaos.
That's okay.
Okay.
Number 50.
I finished my bottle of dog.
I'm too. All right. Number 50 from the my bottle of dog I'm too
Alright, number 50 from the great state of Oklahoma
Gino Fornino
Gino
What a name
Gino Fornino
Sounds like a trade
What does he do?
He is a master's student at Oklahoma State University
Gino for a little kid
Gino Fornino Sounds like Gino for a little kid. Gino for Nino.
Sounds like
Nick's friends
trading each other.
Gino for Nino.
Gino for Nino.
Make a great
AFC West quarterback
someday.
Gino for Nino.
What does he do?
He's a master's student
at the great
Oklahoma State University.
Okay.
And connection to you?
I do not know him.
Okay.
The term master's
is problematic though.
Yeah.
Don't talk to me.
I would.
You know Fornino.
Master bedroom, master student.
What a name.
I got a rice pile.
Oh, there's more in there, probably.
All right.
All right, rice pile.
49.
Well, we just had a big pile of meat on the ground, but the best pile of meat is in New
Hampshire.
The one and the only, Meat Boss.
Oh, yeah.
Meat Boss. Meat the only Meat Boss. Oh, yeah. Meat Boss.
That guy's the guy who would say he would literally fuck people in the eyeball for you.
If someone says a bad thing to me, yeah, he'll fuck you in the eye socket.
I love it.
So what do you think about people having armies?
Oh, hot topic around here right now.
I think it's, well, actually, it would be hypocritical for me to think that's strange.
Yeah, because you have the Odaniacs.
I have never sicked anyone on anybody.
But have they ever acted rogue?
I don't think so.
Well, Meat Boss, I guess, has, but that's a rogue.
But people are an asshole.
That's a part of the cheapies.
Yeah, because the problem that we're having is that some of these guys, they become, like, when a terrorist organization, the head of it
is not hardcore enough.
And then the rest of the guys are like,
yo, this guy doesn't fucking believe the shit anymore.
Let's go do our own thing.
Radicalized within the radicalism.
There's been some of that in the
cheapie world, for sure. Okay.
Yeah, cheapies feel like they've fractured a little.
Yeah, well, once Big Tasty hit 5,000,
the interest waned, and they shut down his pet shop in the city, and there was a rat. The rats came in,'ve fractured a little. Yeah, well, once Big Tasty hit 5,000, the interest waned,
and they shut down his pet shop in the city, and there was a rat.
The rats came in, and it was a lot.
Wait, is this all real?
Yeah, Big Tasty owns a pet shop.
And rats came in?
Yeah.
Why would that be illegal for rats to be in a pet shop?
Well, if they're not domesticated rats, it's a problem.
If they're in the pet shop, aren't they domesticated?
They'll eat a kitten.
Yeah, they will.
That would be the easiest thing. If they came in, just domesticate them, and then they're fine. So shop, I'll domesticate them. They'll eat a kitten. Yeah, they will. That would be the easiest thing.
If they came in, just domesticate them, and then they're fine.
So did he go out of business?
Yeah, the pet shop shut down.
So is he poor?
Dirt.
Yeah.
Big Tasty, shout out.
Big Tasty, thank you, Big Tasty.
Shout out.
Number 48, he is from central Massachusetts.
He is the son of my high school principal.
Okay. He's the son of my high school principal. Okay.
He's recently engaged.
Oh.
His name is Zach Fournier.
Fournier.
Zach Fournier.
Zeno Ferdino and Zach Fournier.
Wow.
Recently engaged.
Recently engaged.
We're so proud of him.
Congratulations to Zach.
Breast size of his wife.
Good question.
Breast size?
Of his wife.
I can't speak to that. You heard me. Youast size of his wife. Good question. Breast size? Of his wife. I can't speak to that.
You heard me.
You heard exactly what I said.
Breast size of his wife, hand it over.
You won't tell or you don't know?
I've never met her, so I cannot speak on that.
You know what she looks like.
I really don't think I do.
No, they're getting engaged, but you haven't seen a picture.
I disagree.
Engagement picture.
No, I haven't actually.
I think you're keeping stuff from us.
Yep.
Small tits.
Small tits.
His dad was the principal.
True.
Good point, KB.
It was Division 5 in high school sports.
Oh, damn.
Small school, small tits.
It was actually on our diploma.
Also, actually, though,
if the school gets really small, it becomes big tits.
You're actually right. It's a horseshoe theory.
Yeah.
Like super private school is Big Tits.
Huge Tits.
Absolutely.
Divisions go down because it seems like Division 5 would be big.
Yeah, it goes down.
So Division 1 is your biggest.
Yeah.
Okay.
Like college.
Next.
That's 48?
Yes, that was 48.
Number 47. Divisions for a stately Massachusetts. It was actually eight. Yeah, that's pathetic. Yeah, that was 48. Number 47. I have divisions for a stately Massachusetts.
It was actually eight.
Yeah, that's pathetic.
Yeah, that's strange.
47.
One of Barstool's most intrepid producers, Mr. Colin Cooper.
Oh, very nice.
Deserved.
Coop daddy.
Super deserved.
He's a peach.
I don't think he would enjoy 47.
He's a good looking dude.
Handsome.
Handsome Cooper, they call him.
I can say that.
Has he ever had enough eggnog?
Another bottle for Roan.
For me?
You guys can split.
Yeah, we have more in the fridge too.
It's pretty crazy that if you say for Roan.
For Roan.
Adam for Roan.
That's your last name.
Yeah, that's nice.
Adam Stroud.
It's a bar.
Government names?
Yeah, yeah.
Thanks for the doxing.
I mean, now that it's all happened, like,
Terrence Mayrose is objectively a hilarious name.
Unbelievable name.
I mean, let's just be honest.
That's an insane name.
Yeah.
I mean, let's just be honest. That's an insane name. Yeah. I mean, we can't, right?
Like, we've all thought it.
Thought it for years.
Terrence Mayrose to the principal's office.
Terrence Mayrose to the principal.
We just don't get it.
We don't really, you know, we've never really talked about it,
but now that we can talk about it, it's like, that name is ridiculous.
He only blocked me two weeks ago.
Oh, really?
He'll be in blocking you?
I'll make sure of it.
I don't think he will.
What happened two weeks ago?
I very innocuously, I think, responded to a tweet of yours,
and he just said, I haven't blocked you yet, and then blocked me.
So it was delayed.
It was delayed in his mind.
He's just cleaning up before the end of the year.
Oversight on the committee's part.
How did this one get through the cracks?
At that point, he thought he was leaving.
Yeah, he thought he was leaving.
He said, I'm out the door, and so are you.
Okay.
Number 46, White Boy Rick, who is from Indiana.
Tall.
Tall, blonde, interesting.
Okay.
Okay.
You have my attention?
Yeah.
We met for the first time a few weeks ago.
He made his first trip to New York City.
Did you give him VIP?
I took him for a little swing of the building.
I did.
Because he is an influencer.
Oh, do you do like private tours?
Yes, I do.
Whoa.
Can we get one?
Absolutely.
Really?
I'd love that. You're all very notable people. Can we get one? Absolutely. Really? I'd love that.
You're all very notable people.
Hell yes.
Really?
Yeah.
Actually, you did say that.
I did.
You said that if I ever wanted to bring my family by.
Yeah.
I appreciate that.
I was like, I don't want to go to a fucking building on my weekend.
Last place I want to be.
A fucking old building.
Number 45, CJ Slavin, which has been typed on this sheet as CJ Clavin, but his last name is Slavin.
And that's an oversight on my error, and I apologize to his whole family.
I'll just accept it.
Thank you.
I forgot y'all were related.
On his behalf.
Thank you very much.
Number 44, his name is Riley Peterson.
I don't know anything about him.
How did he make the list?
I don't think that's any of your business.
Mind your fucking business.
How did he make the list?
I love it.
What, are you auditing him?
What's your favorite thing about Riley Peterson?
I do have to say to you, Mr. Walker, I was looking at an old video.
I think it was the – no, it was probably longer ago than that.
The progression of which your haircut has gotten so much better is impressive.
So much better.
Thank you very much.
I appreciate that, Mr. O'Day.
That means a lot.
Because I'm –
Especially while yours has gotten so much worse.
Right.
No, his has gotten better.
Remember, you recently just roasted an old picture of yourself.
I did. Yes. You said, I can't believe my hair was like this one year ago. And yours, your haircut has gotten better. Remember you recently just roasted an old picture of yourself. I did. You said I can't believe my hair was like
this one year ago. And
your haircut has gotten better. Thank you.
Of course brother.
It's still not good but it's better.
Number 43
I'm actually going to keep a secret because they are on this
list twice.
And I will reveal who it is when they show up a second time.
Oh wow. Some intrigue. So that is embargo they show up a second time. Oh, wow.
Some intrigue.
So that is embargoed.
I don't know you can do that.
I think you're getting flippant with the list.
Oh, it's his list.
I think you might be right.
I only get to do this so many times.
You're out of practice.
I am out of practice.
The nerves I was saying to Erica on the car ride over here,
I was very nervous.
Really?
Very nervous.
You come back to Barstool, you can do this
every day. Every day. Oh,
I would love to do this every day. You could just put me in a padded room.
Or this could be a podcast.
Daily
O'Daniacs.
If people look hard enough, I actually did do
a podcast pilot that went public
back in 2017 called The Wrist
where I did improv.
What? The Wrist? The Wrist. 103.7 The Wrist, where I did improv. What?
The Wrist?
The Wrist, 103.7 The Wrist, where I did an hour's worth of improv.
Like, I was a late-night radio host, and my biggest focus was relationship advice and the Rockers women's volleyball team.
Those are the only two things I spoke of.
TJ, go find that, please.
You don't think I heard that before?
I've been a Wrist listener.
Thank you, TJ.
That was in our group chat, right?
Yeah, I think so.
I think that's weird.
The wrist.
The wrist.
The wrist.
The wrist.
I still wear my The Wrist hoodie all the time.
I love that hoodie.
W-R-S-T, The Wrist.
Oh, there it is.
Look at that.
Yeah.
What the hell is it about?
Why is it The Wrist, though?
What?
I'm a little concerned.
All right, and that was
free-fallen by the late,
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.
Folks, we are talking about
Tallahassee, Florida today,
where the Florida State Seminoles season
is also in a free-fall.
But what we also want to bring up today
is just the pure power and energy
behind the Miami Hurricanes
team this year with their gold chains
and their golden ambitions. We are going to be focused on Tallahassee energy behind the Miami Hurricanes team this year with their gold chains and
their golden ambitions.
We are going to be focused on Tallahassee all afternoon as it is 103.7.
The wrists featured city of the day.
We go live now to Tallahassee,
Florida.
Strange.
Pretty good though.
Strange fever dream.
Number 42,
I think is the first living international member we've ever had on the list.
They are, their name is Mattia Casariraro.
I know it isn't.
They are originally from-
Casariraro.
Casariraro.
Gave up halfway.
Casariraro. They are originally. Gave up halfway. Casararo.
They are originally from the island of Sicily.
They now live in Berlin, Germany.
They served as my parents' concierge at their hotel in the fall.
Wow.
What type of white load of shit is this?
And I was impressed by Mattia's level of care that they showed to my parents,
so I think that they deserve a place on the list.
But Riley Peterson, you don't know anything about him.
No, but I know a lot about Mattia.
But Mattia Casarirar.
How much did your parents tip Mattia Casarirar?
I'll tell you what I told Mr. Walker.
I don't think that's any of your business.
All right, fair enough.
But I just want to make sure that the Casseriras aren't getting paid in list.
There's no pay to play.
Never has been, never will be.
All right.
There is integrity here.
I know it might be faint, but it does exist.
All right, fair enough, fair enough.
I trust that.
Thank you.
Number 41 is Kimberly Ann Bargalas, who was the woman who got AIDS from her dentist.
Oh, yeah.
Shout out to Frank the Tank. Shout out to Frank the Tank.
Shout out to Frank the Tank.
That's a full circle callback.
That was incredible.
You have an empty cup, Roan.
I just spilled Lomo on my suit.
Oh no.
Lomo no mo.
Shout out Frank the Tank
who said, I heard that one time.
The lady got AIDS from her dentist.
That's why I never go.
That was Fargo.
That's why I never go.
That was Fargo, North Native American.
That's why I never go.
Son of a gunner, if I ever go.
Number 40 is, it's a name that will be familiar to you, but it is not the person you're thinking of.
How do you know who we're thinking of?
I have an educated guess.
Their name is Leroy Jenkins.
You want me to do the Terrence Mayrose thing?
Yeah, do that again.
Leroy Jenkins?
Leroy Jenkins.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
I am thinking of a specific Leroy Jenkins.
Yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right. I am thinking of specifically Leroy Jenkins. Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
You're right.
He's from Azeroth.
That's true.
He is a tax accountant and asked politely to be on the list, so therefore he was put on.
Fair enough.
It's fair and balanced.
Wait, so that's pay for play?
Yeah.
No.
He asked.
You said yes.
Where's the pay?
Asking.
I don't agree.
I'm having a conversation with you.
The old O'Daniacs lists weren't as political as this, where you just asked and got on,
were they?
Some people did.
Didn't Ms. Ocasio-Cortez make a list or two?
Oh.
I don't think AOC was ever on there.
Ever?
Not a public list, no.
Okay, so what number are we at?
A private list.
I was thinking of the private list.
40.
We are up to...
It's going to hit me today.
39?
We're up to 39.
Okay.
This is a blood relative of another member of the list.
We can just say relative.
Okay.
Well, it's blood.
Madison Lanza.
Oh!
Cody Lanza's relative.
Cody's sister.
Cody's the man.
Cody is the man.
She has a view of the Empire State Building from her apartment and has let me see it,
and I appreciate that.
Hello.
Okay, relax.
Number 38 is the Liberty Mutual Emu, also known as the Lemu Emu.
Oh, Lemu Emu.
I like its energy.
It makes me laugh.
Deserved.
Thank you.
Deserved spot on the list.
You're a cheap chuckle.
Yeah, I am a cheap chuckle.
That makes you laugh.
What do you think about the Geico Gecko?
Oh, I don't like him.
Oh, Lemu Emu.
There it is.
Wow, in 4K.
Yeah, thanks, Steve.
Okay.
Number 37 is UMass basketball coach Frank Martin.
Oh, great guy.
Minutemen are off to a 9-2 start.
Wow.
Their best in almost a decade.
Wow.
Frank Martin's a great coach.
I was very surprised and excited about that hire.
Have you spoken to him?
No, I have not.
There it is, another 4K picture.
It's him. It's an old picture.
TJ, what year are you finding these photos in?
How did he wind up there?
Frank Martin is
an all-time guy.
We had him on PMT. He used to be a bouncer
in Miami.
He's like a football coach. Where was his last job?
South Carolina.
Final four. So what happened? They sucked. Where was his last job? South Carolina. South Carolina. The final four. Yeah, so what happened?
Bounced him.
They sucked.
And where did he go for that?
Kansas State?
Kansas State.
That's crazy that he wound up at UMass.
Oh, it's the premier program in New England for anyone who's paying attention.
Well, UConn's like number two in the country right now.
UConn, BC, Vermont.
UConn number one?
They're number two?
URI, Providence.
Yeah.
Providence was very good last year.
And Bryant.
Yeah.
We'll see how the air shakes out.
Okay.
Not going to walk that back.
No.
Number 36 was my Airbnb mate in Berlin, Justin Edwards.
Oh.
How randomly?
No, we're friends.
Oh.
Oh.
So why would you say my friend, Justin Edwards? Because before anything, he's an Airbnb Oh. So why don't you say my friend, Justin Edwards?
Because before anything, he's an Airbnb mate.
So that's how you met him?
He wasn't a friend first?
Airbnb mate first, friend second.
In order of importance.
Strangers when you met?
No.
Okay.
You went on vacation to Berlin.
I went to Berlin.
I prefer to describe my friendship with him in terms of Airbnb stays as opposed to an emotional connection.
Got it.
That's more concrete.
Thank you.
There's money involved, but not pay for play.
When you go on another vacation with Justin Edwards, would that supplant Berlin?
No.
Okay.
It'll always be Berlin.
It was always Berlin.
It was always Berlin.
Always Berlin.
Technically, everyone is strangers when they met.
Right?
All right.
He's right. he's right so like when you have a baby
that's a stranger at first
you let a stranger into your home
that stranger was living in you at first
but you didn't meet them
you let a stranger live in you
when it's in you off camera
what are you What are your thoughts on that?
What number are we at?
We're going to make it a real Christmas special.
You got to bring politics to the Christmas dinner table.
We are at number 35.
She is a first ballot Hall of Famer O'Daniac, although she is in 35.
She is an elected official in the great state of Georgia, Ms. Judge Jen Webb. Oh, yes.
Wait, what's her last name again?
Webb.
Webb.
And Webb.
And Webb.
I love Jen Webb.
I have had the pleasure of meeting her a couple times.
We got dinner once.
We went to the Empire State Building together.
That's weird.
Is that a coincidence?
What do you mean?
That you just ended up at the Empire State Building?
She asked and we went.
Oh, okay.
This is when you were working.
Where did you have dinner?
Take dates back to the Empire State Building?
No, I didn't.
You treat it like your home.
Like Mantis.
Yeah, you are.
No, I didn't.
Want to go back to my crib?
Empire State Building.
Do you ever flick the lights on it?
Be like, watch this, and you flick the lights.
Oh, do you control the lights?
I don't have that power, no.
Will you eventually?
I don't think so.
You know if I ever go, I'll jump.
Nick's actually told me that.
He's like, I want to kill myself.
Yeah, he's talked about that from the day today.
On the Empire State Building in front of Tyler O'Day.
I would ask you politely to not do that.
Nope.
He said he was going to do it.
He's a man of his word.
He doesn't even want to die.
He just said he had to do it for the jokes.
You can ban me from the building.
Well, that'll be kind of null and void after it's now.
What?
No, you could preemptively ban it.
You could save a life.
You could save a life.
Okay.
You could save a life.
Pre-ban.
Okay.
You're banned.
You're banned from the Empire State Building.
That is so cool. That's awesome. Yeah. Let's t. You're banned from the Empire State Film. That is so cool.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
Let's tally the bans up.
How many?
One ban.
One ban.
One ban.
Anybody else?
Never forget your first.
What am I banned from?
Karaoke Kid in Madison, Wisconsin.
There we go.
What?
I'm banned from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
NFL Combine.
Oh.
Or Super Bowl.
Yeah.
Super Bowl.
Super Bowl Media Day we're banned.
Whatever.
I'm banned from the most famous building in the world.
That's true.
That's a fact.
Trademark.
Now I want to get banned.
Say you're going to jump off.
It's super easy.
I don't know if I have the balls.
Random fucking confetti.
Oh, some random confetti.
See, TJ, can we get another song?
What song?
It's depressing.
Can we do like Musical of Holly Jolly Christmas or something? See, TJ, can we get another song? What song? It's depressing.
Can we do like Musical of Holly Jolly Christmas or something?
You don't have to do Christmas.
What were you originally going to do? I wanted Lowdown by Boz Scant.
I'm fine with that.
Okay.
Okay.
All right, what's next?
Number 34, the really great guy, Jack McGuire.
Yes.
Jack Mack.
Jack Mack.
The other Jack Mack. Talking about UConnuire. Yes. Jack Mack. Jack Mack. The other Jack Mack.
Talking about UConn basketball.
Yes.
Yeah, I'm sure that upset him.
Oh, what do you mean?
They're number two in the country.
Why did you say the really great guy like that so dryly?
I'm a dry guy.
He is the preeminent TikTok.
Yes.
The gator.
Didn't you start the TikTok of the Empire State Building from scratch and build it up to what it is?
We had an account.
It was pretty small, but no, I mean, the team as a whole has been great contributors.
Take some credit for yourself.
I can't.
Are you the one that anthropomorphizes the building with your face?
It's not my mouth, no.
Not your mouth?
How many people work underneath you?
Hazel eyes.
Three.
Eleven floors.
Tyler, you did. Huh? Take a little credit. Did you? Yes. Thank you. He's alive. Three. Eleven floors. Tyler, you did. Huh?
Take a little credit. Did you?
Yes, thank you. Ah, Erica.
From the clouds, I love it.
Thanks, Erica.
Did you tell any of those
three people, like, bitch, go
get my coffee? Absolutely not.
Erica, is your office in the building?
No.
Is Tyler your boss, Erica?
No.
God, no.
Thank God.
Number 33, JDM.
Oh.
Josh.
Josh.
Yes.
Baltimore, stand up.
Those mean fits.
He was posting.
Shopping.
Yeah, yes.
Posted some John Mayer lyrics yesterday about heartbreak.
I hope everything's okay.
Oh, no.
I didn't see that.
I hope he's okay.
I think it was, I'll make the most of all the sadness.
You'll be a bitch because you can.
And then he said, people don't know how true that is.
Oh, no.
Something along those lines.
Is that a tweet?
Tweet, yeah.
That's like back in the day when we would make real random
AIM messages to let people
kind of know. Maybe he was just the number one rider.
Honestly, that could have been it.
He must have been heartbroken.
You try to hit me, just hurt me.
Number 32. Big Cat, I'm looking at you on this one.
Is
Ambassador Claire Cronin.
Pineapple! Pineapple!
Pineapple! Pineapple! Pineapple!
Who is that?
Can we pull up a picture?
Ambassador, huh?
You said she had freckles on her pussy.
She puts the ass in Ambassador.
Ambassador.
Can we go to the next one? Yeah, let's go to the next one?
Yeah, let's go to the next one
What are you seeing, KB?
I see where you went
I'm a Kruk's guy
Sound effects
The sound effects are not necessary
31
Bed gang
It's a collection of
Tyler, I'm sorry.
I've got to go beat off.
Maybe just flash a picture up.
The Bed Gang is a collection of former viceroys
who are my friends in the real world.
They sleep in the same bed?
They do, all six of them.
Like Willy Wonka's or Charlie's family.
Okay.
I have an issue with Grandpa Joe in that movie.
Yeah, you can walk the walk.
I played Grandpa Joe
in a fourth grade play
so I can answer for that.
What?
What?
What just happened?
Roll up the chair.
The wheels are falling off
O'Day's chair.
Oh, no.
Metaphor.
Literally.
So, yeah, what are your questions?
Is Che can answer?
Yeah, Che can answer anything. Yeah, go ahead. Why would you torture, what are your questions? Is Che can answer? Yeah, Che can answer.
Why would you torture your daughter and your grandson
like that?
We got to go to a candy store.
Okay.
Juicers were the squeeze. The ends justified
the means. We were poor.
So you just lied down?
Shared a bed. Couldn't afford two beds.
Wish we were in the bed gang.
What would happen if one of you had to shit?
I mean, there was a toilet.
Was there?
Yeah.
I think there was a bucket.
Wasn't there a last name bucket?
Yeah.
That's why.
Middle name poop.
I don't believe you.
I don't think you were Grandpa Joe.
Yeah, I was.
1996 production.
Washington School, Westfield, New Jersey.
Very nice.
Look it up.
Who played Augustus Gloop?
Brendan Connolly.
Yeah.
Of course he did.
Of course he did.
Was he typecast?
He was a bigger boy.
No, he wasn't.
Good about Beauregard.
What?
What?
Was he Beauregard?
Was he a bigger boy?
No, I think he had to wear a fat suit.
Ah.
Oof.
So were there actual...
A culture is not your costume.
Yeah, that tried out for it, that couldn't get the role?
Yeah, I mean, I think everyone had a specific role
But not everyone was a starring role
Charlie actually played a very revolutionary play
Was played by Rachel Lazar
Oh
At least it could be a girl's name
Did you say Rachel Dolazar
Rachel Lazar
I want to hire her man
I do too
Dolazar Thank you TJ Rachel Lazar. Oh. I want to hire her, man. I do, too. Rachel Dolezal.
Rachel Dolezal.
She'd have some takes.
Thank you, TJ.
She's got an OnlyFans.
What?
Yes.
Big time.
Rachel Dolezal, yes.
She can see her.
She's making a ton of money.
Does she show?
I believe so.
Everything.
I don't know if I'd want to see that.
It's available.
You would be curious.
I feel like I'm curious.
I think I want to see it.
Does the curtain match? Do you want to see it? No, I saw it. You saw it? Not like I'm curious. I think I want to see it. Does the curtain match?
Do you want to see it?
No, I saw it.
You saw it?
Not on OnlyFans.
Oh, yeah.
You want me to get that for you, Big Cat?
CJ, you subscribe?
No.
We got to get Glennie Balls to interview her.
I know where to go.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, not bad.
Yeah.
Imagine Glennie Balls interviewing Rachel Dolezal.
Just about the OnlyFans.
It doesn't touch on race.
Anything else.
All right, next up.
Great.
Number 30, one of the best people online is the Potato Gobbler.
Yes, yes.
The Potato Gobbler.
I believe that is his first appearance, yeah.
We love the Gobbler, the whole Gobbler family.
They are truly a delight to know and to be a part of their world.
Salute to the potato gobblers.
Shout out them.
So how do they gobble?
Raw?
Usually a raw gobble.
Oh, my God.
Sometimes a sous vide.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, sous vide gobble.
It's a treat.
Number 29 is UMass Twitter.
That's an army that you don't want to fuck with.
Okay.
Thank you.
Number 20.
Let's move on.
No questions.
Number 28 is a user experience designer from Salt Lake City, Utah, Luke Cranmer.
Yes.
What?
User experience designer.
UX.
UX.
What is that?
User experience.
Yeah.
Yeah, come on.
Like helping you know where to click on a website.
It's like when you go on a website, like how it's supposed to be for the consumer.
I was a UI designer.
Customer service.
What's a UI?
No.
Interface.
Interface.
He said that was a different thing.
It's like when you go on a website, like how it should be.
Why did you take this?
What did you do?
What did you do?
Experience is extreme.
You asked what UX meant.
We're not asking about Charlie's Chocolate Factory. What did you do? Experiences. You asked what UX meant. We're not asking about Charlie's Chocolate Factory.
What did you do?
The look of it.
Huh.
Interesting.
What's his name?
Luke Cranmer.
Fucking hate him.
I don't like his last name.
Yeah, I don't really either.
I hate his guts.
All right, number 27 are my friends from high school, the Dick Bandits.
Oh, yeah.
Great folks. Bunch of marriages recently.its. Oh, yeah. Great folks.
Bunch of marriages recently.
Maybe a baby on the way.
Would you like to
share the gender?
No one's pregnant.
Maybe a baby on the way.
Oh, yeah.
How many of the weddings were you in?
Two. Out of?
Six.
Yikes. How many were you at were you in? Two. Out of? Six. Oh. Not great.
Yikes.
How many were you at?
That's not good.
That's not good.
That affected right. I was at all of them.
That's not great.
Only in two.
That's not great.
I would rather Goat be invited to a wedding than be in it.
Oh, absolutely.
He just said that, like, there's a dick bandit.
There's a dick bandit.
Are you a dick bandit?
Yeah, I am.
Oh, only for a third.
Yeah, right.
That's true. Because the other two thirds. Yeah, right. It's true.
The other two-thirds are like, nah. This is Dick Bandit music.
This is when I'm banded.
Kay played a Dick
Bandit middle school play.
Yeah.
Ask me anything.
Yeah, if you want to know.
All right, next up.
Number 26 is Connor Walsh of Pittsburgh.
He does sales.
Number 25 is Michael
West.
Westy?
Take him off.
He was at 46 in the previous
list. Take him off.
When was the previous list? Thanksgiving of last
year. What did he do to get that much
higher?
He answered an email.
About?
I had questions for him about disclosures, I think.
Something of that nature.
You deserve it, then.
I like Westy.
Did you push someone off the Empire State?
I'm not sure how those are linked.
How do I have to disclose about this
If I killed someone
If I pushed someone off
You guys are so lucky you could go there if you wanted to
I keep forgetting your band
Damn I was going to do my birthday party there
God damn it
Number 24 is Griffin Henderson
He lives in Orono, Maine.
I've known him for six years or so now.
He's a rock and roller.
Is he in college?
No.
He's out.
He's out.
Number 23 is 1957 Australian Open champion Lou Hoard.
Oh, yeah.
Ooh.
Great friend of the program.
Is he alive?
So dead.
Oh.
Which program?
This one.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay, shout out Lou.
He's a huge fan.
Number 22 is Brandon Walker.
Whoa.
Hey.
Two.
Yes, one.
Thank you. Welcome. Great one Thank you
That's huge, man
I'm proud of you, bro
I'm proud of you
I'm proud of your ass
Thank you
Has he been on the list before?
No, you don't have an ass
Well, I kind of have an ass
I've been on the list
Yeah, you've been on the list before
I think that's your highest appearance, though
The highest before was 30
Wow
Congrats
Thank you very much
I'm mentally ill, Brandon
Yeah, what the fuck?
22 is also my favorite number when I was growing up, so thank you.
You're welcome.
What's the significance of 22?
It was Will Clark's number when I was 10 years old.
He was my favorite baseball player.
He was awesome in college.
He won multiple titles, right?
Continue, please.
He didn't have any other Hall of Famers on his.
Let's go.
Well, no Hall of Famers.
Rafael Palmeiro, right?
Oh, yeah, okay.
Number 21 is Director of Programming at Barstow Sports, Derek Schumann.
Wow.
Derek's my guy.
Another Penn State guy.
Another Penn State guy, another Philly guy.
We love Derek Schumann.
Love Derek.
Pipeline's insane.
Love Derek.
Great pipe.
Great pipe.
Great dude.
Number 20 is my family.
All of it? I got beat by your family?. Number 20 is my family. All of it?
I got beat by your family?
You did.
I'm sorry.
All your family?
I mean, blood.
Yeah, that would be family.
That's family.
Okay.
You heard the band.
Blood.
Hey, now.
You're an all-star.
It's a game.
Go play.
All right, we're getting to the top 20.
Top 20.
Number 19, Sydney Bunshaft.
Fuck yes.
She's at a new clinic.
She's the abortion doctor, right?
Yep.
She gives them or she puts them back in?
She can dish it and she can take it.
She stands outside the abortion clinic and scoops them up
and puts them back in.
That's true, right?
In a Grim Reaper costume.
I was in her hot tub with her
a few weeks ago.
Oh.
It was a nice night.
Miss Bunshaft.
Lady Bunshaft.
Lady Bunshaft.
Did you ask her if you get the hot tub hot enough?
That could be the abortion right there.
I thought about that.
Yeah.
Just boil them out.
I did not ask in the moment.
Maybe just come out wrinkled.
That would be a poach.
A poach egg.
A poach egg.
Oh, hey.
TJ, have another.
Oh, yeah, TJ. Have another. Oh, yeah, TJ.
Have another.
You lush.
I notice Kate and Brandon aren't laughing.
Okay.
Number 18 is the head of NCAA regulations at Florida State University, Mr. Sam Raycraft.
Yes.
Oh, great name.
Of course, of course.
A mainstay.
Yeah, mainstay.
He is.
That's a new job for him.
A great job for him.
I'm very proud of him.
How's he doing on his new job?
He's doing great.
I mean, he was at Arizona State before working for them.
What's his job title?
He's like the head of compliance at Florida State.
Didn't Arizona State have a ton of...
Florida State?
Yeah, that's all.
And Arizona State.
I don't think you like people.
I think you like last names.
We went from Bunshaft to Raycraft.
That's a classic pipeline.
I think you just like last names.
Pipeline, though.
Their mainstays.
Last name bias is real.
Oh, for sure.
Absolutely.
Fornino?
Come on.
Fornino.
What was the other one?
Carrar Favar?
Carrar Favar.
What was his name?
Mattia.
Mattia Cacereiro.
Okay. Cacereiro. Cacereiro. Cacereiro. Ferrero Fair. Casarero.
Casarero.
Ferraro Fair.
Ferraro Share.
Ferraro Share, yes.
Okay.
Number 17 is Michelangelo the Ninja Turtle, not the Barca.
What a rug pull.
Aiden Switch.
Got him.
Which weapon does Michelangelo use?
The two thighs? N two. Thighs?
Nunchucks.
Nunchucks, yeah.
Raph is the two.
Yeah.
The thighs.
No, Michelangelo's the swords.
No, that's Leo.
Leo has Pitana.
Michelangelo.
But Michelangelo's purple?
No, that's Donatello.
Donatello.
Michelangelo's the pizza guy.
The party dude.
Well, they're all the pizza guys.
No, but Michelangelo's the party guy.
Michelangelo is the party dude.
Raphael's cool. They're all like pizza. They were guys. Michelangelo loves pizza. they're all the pizza guys. No, but Michelangelo is a party dude. Raphael's cool.
They're all like pizza.
They were guys.
Michelangelo loves pizza.
They're all love pizza.
I was a Raphael guy.
Yeah, of course.
I liked Donatello.
Donatello.
Very smart.
I was a Michelangelo guy.
Actually, my dad once got me Leonardo, and I was like, fuck this dude.
This guy sucks.
Get me the Raphael.
He was the leader.
Yeah, but he sucks.
Nobody likes the leader.
Yeah, he was like a dad. Like, I want Raphael. He was the leader. Yeah, but he sucks. Nobody likes the leader. Yeah, he was like a dad.
Like, I want Raphael.
He just goes and...
Raphael definitely was the one that fucked April.
He fucked April.
Absolutely fucked April.
He was so mad all the time.
I think Michelangelo got a blowjob from April.
I think Raphael fucked her.
So in this scenario, April's a whore.
W.
I didn't say that.
Or she's just high libido.
Yeah. High estrogen. Sex positive. I didn't say that. Or she's just high libido. Yeah.
High estrogen.
Sex positive.
High E.
High E.
She's got OnlyFans.
Let her earn a living.
When did she...
Shredder.
Did she suck the dick first or fuck Raphael first?
Same time.
Or were they all going down on her?
How could you suck a turtle's dick?
Does the dick come out too?
Yes.
Remember we saw those turtles fucking?
Oh, we did.
Yeah.
That was one of the bigger dicks.
April definitely had it hot for Raphael.
The turtles and her had a relationship?
There was also a dude, right?
Casey Jones was around.
The guy in the hockey mask?
Yeah.
He didn't fuck?
I don't know.
All right.
Simmer down, Brandon.
You bought Roxanne.
Definitely kissed.
Why don't you check your phone, Brandon?
Yeah.
Why don't you check that phone, Brandon? Yeah. Why don't you check that phone?
Wait a minute.
What?
What did he say?
Is this Rachel Dolezal?
Oh, yeah.
She kind of had a point with the whole...
Hey, B, can you send me the Dolezal?
I mean, I... Yeah, she might be.
I kind of want to retroactively grant...
Oh, okay.
Rachel Dolezal.
Yeah.
Send it to...
I forgive you.
Is she good?
I forgive her, yes.
Is that surgery?
Or she's like all natural?
She's got to be all natural.
Ready to flip your phone?
Huh.
You got the dolezal drop.
Nick, doesn't Venus have something out there?
I don't know.
Venus and I are kind of at a doldrum.
Oh, no.
She's liking Elgort's pictures.
She's moved on.
She's with Ansel.
Well, she's not with Ansel, but she's liking all of them.
I actually got word from a connection that she's very much single.
Oh.
Let me just see.
Why is she liking Ansel's pictures?
She's out there, though, right, though, KB?
Maybe she likes A Fault in Our Stars.
Is that what it's called?
Maybe she wants to work harder.
Baby Driver. Baby Driver.
Baby Driver is what she loved.
This eggnog makes me feel like a sloth.
I don't know what anyone
said the last minute.
Don't know.
Baby Driver. Don't know. Oh, it's an awesome movie.
Everybody in the movie's been cancelled.
Tracy's in there, isn't she? Yeah.
It rocks.
Would you believe we've only gotten through eight picks?
No, we're like 18?
16.
16, all right.
Former Barstool sports intern and dear friend of mine, Miss Ella Briscoe.
Ah, Alabama.
Alabama, and then she worked for Lane Kiffin at FAU.
And where does she work now?
She's back in the area doing stuff.
She's actually working on the golf documentary that Netflix was doing last year.
Ah.
She's great.
I'll see her tomorrow.
What's the documentary on?
The PGA.
A lot of pressure on me now that I know that Tiger's son listens.
That's a ton of pressure.
Listens to what?
EMT. Oh, my God.
I've said a lot of things about his pillhead dad.
Oh.
Well, he doesn't listen to this show.
He doesn't listen to this show.
Right, it's true.
He's, like, right at the age where he, like, hates his parents.
Yeah.
That's what I'm hoping.
It's like he actually likes us because we, like, bust his dad's balls.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Great. us because we like bust his dad's yeah yeah great number 15
is
close friend Martin Garrix
what a long time
first time
Garrix the DJ
close personal friend
yes he came for a tour
last week we had a great time
first time you met him?
Second.
Oh, you a big Garrix guy?
Yeah.
You know, he was huge in 2014 when the progressive house movement was blowing up.
He's kind of been quiet, but, you know.
Well, he's doing his own thing now. He's aged.
You could see it.
He used to be such a sweet-looking youth.
Yeah.
Now he's a man.
He partied hard, probably.
He's partying.
You could tell he's going on tour.
All right, next.
Number 14, who was the previous number who was embargoed, is Big Cat.
You've been on the list twice today.
Nice.
Oh, you were the double.
You were 14 and 43.
Why was that?
Because it's the best.
I think this is the lowest he's ever been.
I think so too.
But if you divide them.
No, you slid hard on the one Thanksgiving last year
This is a major rise for you
What did I slide for?
Into the 40s
What did you slide for?
I don't know
I'm going to tweet right now
Fuck you Empire State Building
To make up for it
Fuck you
Empire State Building
Glad I came Number 13 is To make up for it. Fuck you, Empire State Building. I just put him higher.
Glad I came.
Number 13 is Dukes.
You're behind Dukes.
One spot behind Dukes.
I love Dukes, so that's fine.
Number 12 is the Empire State Realty Trust PR and Marketing Department.
Would that be you?
I'm one of 16.
Erica, are you in that?
Erica is a part of that, yeah.
Jumping off your building, Erica.
This would be a great song to jump off the building to.
The crescendo.
Yeah, I'd be falling.
That's great.
Number...
AirPods in.
All the way down.
Number 11.
You leave your phone up there so you lose range halfway through.
How many seconds does it take to fall from the top?
Somebody would call.
I'm not trying to find out.
You hear that noise as you're dying.
You know how many seconds it takes to go from the top floor to the...
In an elevator.
I mean, it's 10 meters per second per second.
When am I hitting terminal velocity?
I'm saying two and a half seconds. per second. When am I hitting terminal velocity?
I'm saying two and a half seconds.
Way longer.
Way longer.
How tall is it?
How many meters tall is it? It's going to be way longer.
From the top, it's about 1,260 feet.
What are we thinking?
Way more than four seconds.
Six.
You get to listen to six seconds of music?
You're thinking about it in 40-yard dash times.
Oh, no.
Number 11 is Dr. Victor Gambone,
who was the attending physician for Terry Schiavo for seven years.
Oh, wow.
Vic Gambone.
Does he have a lot to do, though?
Easy job.
Yeah.
Yep, she's still there.
Applesauce plugged in.
Kate? Number? Yep, she's still there. Applesauce, plugged in.
Kate?
Number.
Kate, I think Kate post-dates O'Daniacs.
This is how every list goes.
I have to say something.
Oh, no.
I have no idea what the fuck is going on.
I do not.
I haven't understood a single one of your picks.
I haven't understood why.
I got a belly full of nog, and I want to open my breath.
I love you.
I think you're great.
The key to the O'Daniacs is just Tyler says names, and we just riff off them for like a minute, and then we move on. At first, I was like, oh, the joke is that these are people who make you horny somehow.
And then I was like, these are people you don't like.
That's why they make you horny.
That's what you do.
And then I keep trying to figure it out. No, there's no rhyme or reason. I was like, these are people you don't like. That's why they make you a prickle pussy. A prickle pussy makes us money.
I keep trying to figure it out.
No, there's no rhyme or reason.
Okay.
It's a beautiful thing because, like I said, we just riff off the names.
And then we're just like, all right, next name.
It's the nog.
It's giving me like sloth brain right now.
I'm so sorry.
No, don't be sorry.
I appreciate Big Cat enabling my insanity.
Yeah.
Okay, here we go.
11?
10, actually.
And we're top 10. Top 10. Number 10, Jack McCarthy. Yep. insanity. Okay, here we go. Eleven? Ten, actually. We're top ten.
Number ten, Jack McCarthy.
Former roommate.
The best.
Former roommate.
You know, you and I were supposed to be roommates.
When?
When I was going to move to New York,
Kyle was like, there's a room open here.
When?
When I first got the job.
And you recommended that I live with,
like, you had an open room.
Who was it with? I never had an open room. Did I say got the job. And you recommended that I live with, like, you had an open room. Who was it with?
I never had an open room.
Did I say that?
Yeah.
That might have been a lie.
He was probably lying to me.
I think you did have an open room.
Early 20s.
I gave away a room.
That's probably what it was.
Maybe that's what it was.
Yeah, you might have been taking my room, but Cody took it.
Okay.
Great. Could have been Nick. Could have been Nick. Could have Yeah, you might have been taking my room, but Cody took it. Okay. Great.
Could have been Nick.
Could have been Nick.
Could have been Nick.
Could have been Nick.
Kyle also texted me that one month trial Ethan killed himself when I got hired.
I know.
Oh, yeah, that did happen.
I was panicked.
Such a mean thing to do.
I didn't know you would believe it.
I didn't know you.
Yeah, I did, yeah.
Number nine are the cheap you. Yeah, I did. Number nine are the Cheapies.
Yeah.
Which I think is their lowest ranking ever because they've been insolent and boring.
Yeah.
Damn.
Number eight is Stu Feiner.
Yeah.
All right.
Number seven is Gaz.
Okay.
Bald Head Paul.
Anti-Rachel Dolezal.
Oh, my God. Exactly. Oh, my God. Exactly.
Christ.
Exactly.
Some ways similar because they both kind of...
Okay.
I thought the same valid...
I thought anti was the right way.
Yeah, but...
Number six, Brian Fitzsimmons.
Oh, yeah.
He's a top ten guy.
Oh, yeah.
He's a top ten guy at this company.
Most underrated guy at this company, Brian.
Yeah, I'd agree.
Oh, nice.
Number five is the varsity head coach of the Dover, New Hampshire girls basketball team,
Mr. James Flynn.
James Flynn.
How's the team doing this year?
They just got their first win last week.
Uh-oh.
Well, it's a young year still.
It starts after Thanksgiving.
No, no, it's December.
A couple weeks, yeah.
So they're probably one in seven.
Oh.
That's clean. He's on the hot seat. What's his name again? What they're probably one in seven. Oh. That's clean.
He's on the hot seat.
What's his name again?
What's his name again?
Flynn.
Jimmy Flynn.
All right, Jimmy Flynn, you're on the hot seat, bro.
Officially.
That's clean.
I'll put you on my hot seat on PMT.
Number four is the Empire State Building.
Oh.
Thought it was going to be number one.
Unban Nick, you coward.
What the fuck, man?
I'll think about it.
Number three is former red
sock star mike lowell oh of course big big fan what of you yes of course i feel like you skipped
five did you get all five was uh hot seat flynn okay yeah number two uh the the list wouldn't
exist without a mr cody lan Cody Lanza Cody's the man
Social employee of the year
He's been a big help on the act
Helped us with Super Bowl week
Cody's the man
He's a true prince
And number one
The boom operator on the 1992 classic hit
My Cousin Vinny
Mr. Pud Cusack
Pud Cusack
Rate number. Pud Cusack. Pud Cusack. Rate number one.
What a name.
Rate number one.
Pud Cusack.
Pud.
Oh, my God.
About goddamn time.
That is, yes.
Overdue for Mr. Cusack.
Congratulations, Pud.
What a list.
What a great name.
Pud Cusack.
Now, you'll tweet this list when this episode goes live, right?
Yeah.
So, yeah.
Friday, next Friday.
I'll defer to you on timing.
Yes.
What a list.
I'm going to do the thing where you say it's sensitive for nudity, but it'll just be the list.
Yeah, I like it.
Have a little cock in the corner.
Cody, add a cock.
You want to send us off with a song?
Sure.
Let's go one more song.
What would you like?
It's the holiday season.
Oh, yeah.
Let's do Blue Christmas. Oh, yeah.
Let's do Blue Christmas.
Oh, that's depressing.
Oh, that's a great one.
Okay.
If it's his best song.
Sure.
Are you queuing me up, Mr. Teach? He'll get you.
He'll get you.
He's gotten so much better since you left.
He's gotten so much better.
But before I start, thank you to the community, to everyone in the room for having me back.
Thank you, Donna.
Love you, too.
O'Day is awesome.
I'm sorry that I was like, I don't get it.
Sorry about that.
No, she did kind of ruin it.
I did.
Just being a dumb greenhead.
And I make a promise the O'Day Army will never attack anyone at this company.
Don't promise that.
You can't even back that up.
Yeah, don't promise that.
I can't.
I can't control the Army forever.
That's true.
Would you ever lend your guys out for a hit?
No.
What about on the Chrysler building?
No.
Maybe on the Chrysler building.
Okay.
Although, yeah.
Is the Chrysler building technically taller?
Do they have a softball team?
No.
Do you guys like?
No.
The Chrysler building is shinier.
Do we have a softball team?
I like the thought of all the big buildings having softball teams.
That is a good idea.
How many people work in the Empire State Building?
Thousands. Well, not Tyler. the Empire State Building? Thousands.
Well, not Tyler.
Technically, I'm not.
It's not you.
Tough.
I don't know that you really know shit about the Empire State Building.
He barely goes in it.
That hurt, didn't it?
How many steps?
There's over a thousand steps.
Oh, shit.
Have you gone up?
Have you done it?
I have, yeah.
How many elevators?
72, I think. There's 72 elevators in that motherfucker? A lot of banks, baby. Have you gone up? Have you done it? I have, yeah. How many elevators? 72, I think.
There's 72 elevators in that motherfucker?
A lot of banks, baby.
Damn.
Damn.
We got A Bank, B Bank.
Are you closer to the Empire State Building than Quiggs was to NASA?
Yes.
What?
I don't get the question at all.
Quiggs was across the street from NASA.
It's hard to fathom.
It was his thing.
He didn't work at NASA, but he was across the street from NASA. It's hard to fathom. It was his thing. He didn't work at NASA, but he was across the street from it.
He works at the Empire State Building.
Does anybody else want to go as well?
He's also across the street from it.
It's awesome.
I'm curious.
Yeah, just pass it around.
Yeah.
All right, blue Christmas.
Thank you, TJ.
Send it to Kate and then she can do it.
Thank you, Tyler.
I'll have a blue Christmas without you.
I'll be so blue just thinking about you.
Decorations of red
I can't do harmony.
On a green Christmas tree
Won't be the same, dear
If you're not here with me
And when those blue snowflakes start falling,
that's when those blue memories start calling.
Steven's grabbing the phone at a hit.
They'll be doing
alright
with your
Christmas
of white.
But I'll
have a blue
blue blue
blue Christmas.
Come on now.
Oh, love an instrumental break in a karaoke song.
Can you just fill it in with words?
Sure.
You scat?
Yeah.
We're so close.
We're so close.
We're so close.
Heard that before.
Heard you.
I might be doing.
There we go.
Oh, there's Louie.
Louie showed up.
We'll be doing all right with your Christmas of white.
But I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas.
Thank you
very much, everybody. It's great.
Yay!
Let's not wait 14 months
until the next one, Fred.
I just 12. Next time you see me, I'll be
a blur outside your window.
He's not lying.
He's not lying.
Splatter on your page. God damn, he's not lying. He's not lying. A splatter on your page.
God damn, he's the best.
Thank you, O'Day.
Hello, O'Day.
Ghost of Christmas Past.
That was fun.
That was so much fun.
Yeah, that was awesome.
I loved it.
Time to open presents.
Yeah, let's open some presents.
Finish this show with presents.
The same order that we started, right?
Stephen Chay goes first?
Does everybody remember the order?
No, we got to spin to see who goes first.
Spin goes first.
See who goes first.
And then they open it, but you want to go last.
Right.
I think you want to go first.
Why?
Because if you go first, you get to pick last.
Oh.
Whoever lands on first just opens their gift.
Yeah, he's right.
Yeah.
He's right.
So if you get last, you get last
steal. Unless someone doesn't want to steal
yours.
You might get screwed. Correct.
Yeah. Is that out? No.
Yeah, and then we just go one around and then it's over.
Why does the person who picks
first last?
The person who picks first usually gets to go last
because they don't get to steal.
Right, but if no one steals yours, then you never get to go again.
You're sneaking your bracelet?
Yeah, she is.
Yeah, she is.
It's always a fucking production with you.
All right, let's do it.
Let's do it.
Take it back out.
The person that goes first just opens their gift.
The person that goes second can either steal or open.
Right.
You don't want to go second?
How is that an advantage for the first guy?
The person that goes first usually gets the last steal at the end because they never got a chance to steal anybody.
Yeah, and if you steal someone, you swap with them, right?
Yes.
Okay, all right.
So you want, like, first is good here.
All right, so here we go.
We can actually do this correctly.
Brandon.
All right, so I'm good.
Yeah. Good. Okay. You're Lomo off and open that. No, I'm going to, so I'm good. Yeah.
Good.
Okay.
You're Lomo off and open that gift.
No, I'm going to...
I might...
Okay.
I've had a lot of fun.
This has been so much fun.
Hope all the Yak listeners are having a safe and great holiday.
An eggnog drunk is a weird drunk.
There he is.
Yeah, I'm navigating it.
I am now free to open my gift.
Yes, open it.
I'm going to take it.
We're off until January 3rd.
We're going to show on Monday.
Tuesday when we come back.
Tuesday will be the first day back.
What could this be?
Oh, more knocking.
What could this be?
Zod, we got whole bottles in the fridge.
Do you think we should get scissors?
Yes.
Strip it with your hands.
You're strong.
What are you talking about? You did prove your strength today.
Can't open some tears.
Are you saying if it's ours or not?
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
God damn it!
I think you can get the stuff out, right?
I really did a good job. Put your ass into it.
I really did.
So, we have $200.
Okay. Pretty good. Is that real money?
We have a
high-quality cloth. Who's could this be?
Who's could this be? Wait, that's a good-ass
gift. Talk to the mic. Talk to the mic.
Talk to the mic. We have a Calgary Flames
hat. Awesome hat.
Dude, I need a Theragun.
My Theragun just died.
We have this L.A. sweatshirt.
No, it's not L.A.
What is it?
It's the high school that they were at.
Highland Park High School.
Pretty cool.
Clayton Kershaw, Scotty Scheffler, and Matthew Stafford.
Wait, what's that?
Don't pocket that money, Brandon.
No, that money's part of that.
Brandon put it in his ass.
It seems like whoever gave this gift just swiped everything off their desk.
It does seem to me that way.
Ooh.
What is that?
A hypersphere high-intensity vibrating fitness ball.
That's a sex toy.
Why'd you even buy that in the first place?
I didn't buy it.
Okay.
Okay.
Airguns are nice.
Noted.
I might be interested in this box.
What?
This is a Venom.
Okay.
Wearable heat and vibration leg device.
What?
It's pretty cool.
Hell yeah.
Yes.
All right.
Of course we have the wood shaving.
Yum.
Yum.
She can drink that.
Delicious.
I'm parched.
That's like eggnog for athletes.
I want that.
It's so good.
We should make a sports eggnog for the summer.
Those are rad.
Is this weed?
Yeah, that's marijuana.
What?
It's a bunch of weed.
Again, I don't know whose gift this is, but it looks like someone just took their whole desk and went.
A rowback barstool polo.
Nice.
That looks so comfortable.
Could have been from anyone.
This may have been the best gift to get.
The Shadow Storm remote control high speed...
That's pretty sick.
I didn't say it was a shadow.
Oh, it's a Shadow Storm.
Shadow Storm, I believe that is it. No, it's a shadow storm. Shadow storm.
I believe that is it.
No, I think there's some lion's mane mushrooms in there.
What?
That's a guess.
Some people that live in flood zones.
Those real mushrooms?
Lion's mane mushrooms?
It is.
Lion's mane mushrooms.
Okay.
There you go.
Probably a thousand.
That's a good gift.
Yeah.
Tell him to take that money.
Take that money and put it back in the box.
I will be stealing that.
Okay.
So that's the box to get.
So that's his.
Again, it can only get stolen twice.
It can only get stolen twice.
I like this T.J.
If you want to steal,
you have to do it
before you open your gift
or after.
When your name comes up,
you can either steal
or open your gift.
Brandon will get a chance
to steal at the end.
Got it.
If it's been stolen twice, he cannot steal.
Then it's done.
All right.
We should do that again.
We crack the code again.
Brandon's going to be the last person to steal?
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Oh, shit.
What's so funny, Giggle Puss?
I'm already laughing, guys.
Spin again, TJ.
I know there's one package that no one's going to steal from, and that person's just fucked.
I just feel bad.
Sorry.
This will make sense.
Connor. Connor. Kate. Kate. Kate. Kate. Kate. Kate. Kate. Kate. Kate. bad. Sorry. This will make sense. Connor.
Kate.
Kate.
Kate.
Kate.
Kate.
Kate.
Kate.
Kate.
Are you opening or stealing?
I'm opening.
Because I know Pat would just want all that stuff.
So, yeah, you can steal it.
Steal it.
It might get stolen again, though.
I mean, it will get stolen again.
I'm just going to go with what I got.
I think, so it's a bottle of wine, which I don't think anyone's going to steal.
Nice.
Josh won.
Josh.
I'm very sad now.
Wait.
No, there's something else in there.
Oh.
That actually might be the most valuable thing in here.
$200 cash.
What?
What?
What?
Mm-hmm. Oh, I don't like that.
All right, so now we can look up how much Steve and Jay spent on this.
$20.
No, it's $20.
There should be.
Josh, why?
There's not.
There's not.
It's just the Josh.
There's literally not.
No, there was a card in there.
Oh, no.
Jay.
I said that was the most important part of the gift.
There's not.
What would the card say?
It might be in another gift.
Maybe the person wrapping got confused.
But if there is another card in a gift, I'll identify it.
And it's part of this gift.
No, it is the most important part of the gift.
What is it?
Not the Josh one?
Say it, but in case someone else swaps.
It's a Barstool branded envelope.
What did someone get though?
Because no one will want to swap.
Yeah.
We need to know for swapping.
You got to know that this president is
totality for future swaps.
It's the URL
for the pussy eating tutorial.
Oh my god.
Holy shit.
That is priceless. That shit. Oh my god.
That is priceless.
That was a bottle of red.
Steven, you dog.
What a night you just set up.
The man in the house.
Holy shit.
That's how you stretch 20.
Eve is going to have a great Christmas.
We might need to borrow that boat to get around to our apartment afterwards.
Oh, my God.
Oh, Nick.
God bless you, Nick.
Okay.
You could earn his namesake.
That's true.
Take it easy, Nick.
He's allergic to pussy.
He's allergic to pussy.
Somebody say pussy.
Oh, it's spinning again.
This is fucking fun.
Oh, man it again. This is fucking fun.
Oh, man.
Okay.
I obey your soul.
Hey, cat.
All right, I'm opening.
Oh, God, there's pussy in there.
All right.
A lot of tape on this one.
Oh, shit.
It's a JBL boombox.
That's got to be sassy.
It's got to be sassy.
That is nice as fuck.
This will be in Big Cat's gift next year.
Oh, yeah, it will.
That is nice as fuck. Never going to use it.
Massive sound all day long.
Holy shit.
Massive sound all day long. That shit. Massive sound all day long.
That's a good stealing thing, though.
Oh, my word.
Yeah.
All right, spin it again.
Wow, Sass, thank you.
It's a big-ass boombox.
That was a great gift, Sass.
Does that play CDs?
What does that play?
CDs?
CDs?
No, it's records, Steven, you idiot.
Speaker.
So when you Google gifts under $500, it's the second one.
It's so perfect.
Sassy.
Sass.
Okay.
Yes, spin the wheel.
Wrong. Okay. I guess, yeah, spin the wheel. Roan.
Okay.
Get in there, Roan.
I guess I'll steal Brandon's.
Yeah.
Well, might as well.
Does that mean Brandon gets another, right?
Or gets yours?
Yeah, Brandon, open yours.
Open Roan's.
I get to steal his.
No, wait, hang on.
You guys now Yankee swap.
Hang on, hang on.
I'm not locked in on that. I might want to steal his. Wait, hang on. You guys now Yankee swap. Hang on, hang on. I'm not locked in on that.
I might want to steal KB's.
Oh, yeah.
He's allowed to say no.
What do you mean?
It's in the wiki.
No.
I'm stealing yours.
All right, open it up.
I'm stealing yours.
Open it, Roan.
I'm stealing that big ass one.
Is this your gift?
You could steal it back, Kyle.
You could.
All right.
Oh, man, you pissed him off, dude.
I'm having the time of my life.
Oh, Kyle, come get yours.
Kyle doesn't get to open, right?
Yeah.
Wait, what?
He'll get to open that one.
Until you're spin, yeah.
Wait, what are you doing?
He just wanted to open the big one.
Ooh, it's that heavy.
Che, I think
it's a reused box.
You can't be serious, Che.
This is so fragile.
Oh, fuck.
What is it?
Oh, no, it's Kate.
I played him.
I played him.
That ain't shit.
That ain't shit.
That's Kate's.
That's Kate's.
Try a weak-ass Kate.
What is this, Kate?
Kate!
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, my God!
It's a fucking...
Oh, he's gonna die, Rama.
He's gonna fucking die, Rama.
You're stuck with it.
Oh, dude.
Kate, that's trash.
It's the Yak gingerbread house.
Oh, it is.
It's the house.
It's so good.
It's beautiful.
It's so good, Kate.
That is good.
That's damn good.
Damn good.
Saved over that.
Took her six hours
also two packs of
Christmas lights
four packs of
Christmas lights
oh Kate Mike
oh
wow Kate
wow
alright Roan
that's your gift
yeah Roan
give it to Roan
Roan what a diorama
that is
I'm glad I got this one
ooh it says heavy
sorry oh fuck where's the rest of the shit in the box why is there christmas lights
it was fragile so spider put that in there like way to like keep it steady
in the corner oh so those aren't even a part of your camera those have to get back just the diorama.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I was going to steal that $15,000 box that Brandon had
and I opted for the gingerbread house.
I know none of you pussies are... thousand dollar box that Brandon had and I opted for the gingerbread house.
I know none of you pussies are the balls to steal this.
Fuck no, dude.
That was meant for you.
Oh, shit.
Oh.
That was great.
He spit it again.
Great job.
Great job.
Thank you.
That was a great diorama.
That's why I felt bad, but I was like yawning because I was up until like 2 in the morning
making that fucking thing.
I was up so late.
Furious at Tyler O'Day for taking so long.
I was.
When do I get to my diorama?
I know.
Yeah.
It's diorama time.
Okay.
Sorry.
All right.
Good for Roan. Good for Roan. Yeah. Happy for Roan. He didn't even get to open it. It's diorama time. Okay. Sorry. All right. Good for Roan.
Good for Roan.
Yeah.
Happy for Roan.
He didn't even get to open it.
It's edible.
Everything in there is edible.
Is it actually edible?
Yes.
Uh-huh.
Oh, man.
Wait.
No.
What if somebody steals it?
That's true.
KB?
KB?
No.
No one's going to steal this, right?
I can eat this.
Well, he has the opportunity to steal, right?
Oh, he's done.
He's done.
I mean, someone has to steal it.
Oh, right, right, right.
Okay, okay.
He's stuck with the diorama.
It is.
It looks delicious, though.
It does look good.
Is this frosting?
So the door, the windows, and the holding up the yak sign are glue, but everything else
is icing.
Oh, my God.
It's so good.
Shut up.
You're so happy.
I see what you're trying to do. Oh, my God. It's so good. Shut up. You're so happy. I see what you're trying to do.
Oh, my God.
KB, go ahead.
So if I steal that from Brandon, someone's going to steal it from me.
Someone with a poor gift, I'd imagine.
So I'm just going to open mine.
But if you end up with something bad, nobody will steal it.
Yeah, but there's a better chance
if I steal that,
I'm going to end up with something bad.
Yeah.
It's going to be a...
Ah.
Ooh.
I had no clue who that is.
You're great again.
Thank you.
Just part of it.
And... Oh! What's that? An air fryer. Oh! it again. It's part of it.
Oh!
What is that?
An air fryer.
That's very nice. Thank you.
Nice air fryer.
Who got that?
You, Brandon?
It has the MAGA book in it.
It was 60 bucks?
That was 60 bucks?
Well, that was 52 and that was eight.
Wow.
Good air fryer.
That's a great air fryer.
Magabuck.
They make all your fries good again.
Okay.
We're doing a good job here.
These chocolates are mint.
Oh, my God.
I got to admit, it's working.
I want it.
He's trying to convince us.
I fucking want it.
It's so fucking good.
All right.
I can't wait to have the actual house.
It's going so fucking good. Alright. I can't wait to have the actual house. Scram, gingerbread.
Jay.
Hershey chimney.
So if I don't open mine, I can
steal another gift. Yeah.
Then someone else can take
Correct.
Depends which one, because the Gingerbread House has been stolen once.
No, not since it opened.
Oh, yeah.
No, it's been stolen once.
Oh, right, right, right, right.
Not since it opened.
So you could steal the Gingerbread House.
Everything's up right now.
You could steal the Gingerbread House.
And then somebody would probably end up stealing it.
Right.
You could totally steal it.
You'd end up with something good.
I would do that.
That's the smartest move.
Don't do that.
Sure. Because I haven't even got to taste the actual house. Oh, no.'d end up with something good. I would do that. That's the smartest move. Don't do that.
Because I haven't even got to taste the alcohol.
Oh, no.
Get it before tasting.
I would get that.
Especially before somebody steals it for the second time.
Fence is going to go quick.
No, I don't want to help him anymore. Have one more M&M before you take it if you do.
Oh, my God.
It's so fucking good. Roach, my God. It's so fucking good.
Road, shut up.
Don't be looking at the price list.
Oh, what the fuck?
He's opening his.
Oh.
Five.
There's a shot clock here.
Three.
Two.
Oh, okay. Steve okay Grab your mic, Steve
One of the boomboxes doesn't have a good collection of CDs right now
Yeah, he doesn't have any CDs
What are you, Bluetooth?
Yeah
Fucking century we're living in
Just Bluetooth?
Just both your hands, what are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
Come on, man
Oh, Nespresso That's nice, guys both your hands. What are you doing? Come on, man.
Oh!
Nespresso!
That's nice, guys.
That's sick.
Oh, it doesn't look homemade, though.
Odd homemade.
Very nice.
Alright, who bought that?
My parents use a Nespresso at their Stella Blue
grounds. Oh, hell yes!
Do beans? Yeah, you get the little cups. use an espresso at their Stella Blue grounds. Oh, hell yes. Oh, can this
do beans?
Yeah, you get
the little cups.
The grounds.
Oh, cool.
If you buy the grounds.
This is why
the Hitchings
are the first family
of the Yak.
Very nice.
This says it's chrome.
Okay, spin it again.
That's the second
most expensive.
You didn't seem
all that impressed
with it, Steven.
I'm not personally
a coffee drinker,
but I would give it
to my wife.
We don't have a... What do you mean you'd give it to my wife. We don't have a...
What do you mean you'd give it to your wife?
Put it in your house.
That candy.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Are you going to give it to her as a gift?
No.
Yes, he is.
Oh, my God, he is.
No.
He is.
Oh, that's uncouth.
This fucking guy.
Hey, that's...
Them's rules.
Oh, that's uncouth.
That's being married,
but she doesn't watch the Yak.
Oh. She'll find out. No, married, but she doesn't watch the Yak.
She'll find out.
No, no, I've got her number.
Alright.
Spin it again.
Hurry down the chimney tonight.
DJ!
I'm going to open mine.
Oh, I like this. Where does he want the...
It's the tall one that he took.
Brandon survived.
Until the last minute blitz.
Yeah, like I knew Brandon's gift would be the best one,
but curiosity got me.
I know, it's hard not to open the gift. So hard not to open them.
It's a tall boy right there.
He just looks great in his sweater.
Yeah, he looks really good. He just looks great in his sweater.
Yeah, he looks really good.
He looks almost as good. Yeah, he looks really good.
Yeah, we all know.
Confirmed.
He totally looks awesome.
Actually, he looks really good.
He looks good.
Ron, please don't eat anymore, man.
You had your chance to steal.
I didn't.
You haven't got to his yet.
Watching.
Crossbow.
This is a good gift opener right here.
What is it?
It's a second box.
Oh.
Second box.
Gotta be a crossbow.
Free soldier.
Definitely a crossbow.
What the hell is free soldier?
Telescope?
What?
A telescope?
Who got that for him?
Zah?
Zah?
Yeah!
You know Zah's curious ass got him a telescope.
I googled gift for...
$200 gift for teenagers.
That's sweet.
That's pretty cool.
TJ, you can watch people
fucking.
In outer space.
Yeah, on the moon.
Wow.
That's sweet.
That's so sweet.
Yeah, go ahead
and assemble that for me.
That's so fucking sweet, dude.
That's so sweet.
Oh, man.
So fucking sweet.
You can watch Rutgers sports
from so far away. So far away. You can watch Rutgers sports from so far away.
So far away.
You can watch Ropes.
There you go.
Thank you for laughing at that.
What does it taste like, TJ?
Do you need to be moving this with your arm?
Oh, nothing?
Is anybody else going to throw up?
I want to.
Oh, yeah.
I feel it's right.
I'm not drunk at all, and it's all in my tummy.
I'm hot.
My head is hot.
All right.
Wow.
It's like there's cement in my blood.
This room is a goddamn disaster.
It is.
It's like a little rocket launcher.
Hell yes.
What do you see, TJ?
I saw.
Yeah, I figured.
We got three more?
Yeah.
Will you put your phone camera up to that?
Is it Nick and Connor and...
I'm about to eat the door of this house.
Oh, do not.
That's glue. That's glue, Rome.
That's why I want it so bad.
So full of nog.
Zah! Getting the booth knocked out here
Shit
I really want that house
I really want that house
Wait hold on
Oh he's gonna
Zod's listening skills
Yeah
Oh he's so good So it's two skills are going to Oh, he's so good
So it's two things
It's two things
Based off the sound
Based off the sound
So that I've seen
This sounds like something
I might like too
And I've got to consider the fact
That I'm leaving in a couple days
Yeah
Back to Zimbabwe, so
Can't take that diorama
Across borders
You would eat it right away
Here's the thing
If I
The joint I smoked tonight
I would crush that entire house.
Be careful.
There's glue.
Just a little bit.
God damn it.
I'll open my present.
All right.
Open it with your eyes closed.
Thank God.
Looks like a Johnny Walker.
Oh, that's nice.
Hell yeah.
That's nice.
By the way, there's five joints in Brandon's gift.
Right.
Johnny Walker Green.
We're all so dumb for not taking your gift.
I'm more of a whistler pig guy.
$100 for the joints.
I'll give the joints away.
It's just $200.
Okay.
Sounds cracker.
That's a nice one.
Saw's already digging in.
This is the most dignified we've ever been.
It really has.
It's crazy.
What the hell?
What's he doing?
He's opening it.
He's opening it right now.
What if somebody else steals that, though?
If I steal it, I'm pumping your stomach.
I'm not allowed to eat this?
We can do that.
We can do that.
You've taken a nibble.
I can take a shot.
Yeah, I've taken a nibble.
Let me get a shot, though, Zaha.
Oh, man.
Alright, spin it again. Spin it again.
See who gets this next.
Connor or Nick?
Connor.
Connor.
The motherfucker's going to take my gift.
Well, then I'm going to take it from him.
Take my gift.
As long as he doesn't take the diorama.
The motherfucker's going to take my gift.
I'm opening mine.
Whoa!
So wait, then I just have all the power?
Yeah.
Geez.
No, Brandon has last steal.
But Brandon can't steal back his own gift, right?
Correct.
So I'm going to get Brandon's gift.
Cheers, brother.
Cheers.
Cheers.
How's she taste? Oh, yeah. Cheers. Cheers. How's she taste?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Goza.
Rone, it's so sweet.
If I wind up with this, no one is tasting it.
What?
Tasting.
Much less a full wall or a partition of a roof.
Okay, the craftsmanship and the amount of flavors on this are really mind-boggling.
Thank you.
Thank you.
A lot of fun.
God, it's working.
I panicked, and then I felt so bad for whoever got it.
No, what do you mean bad?
No, your job was in a prized possession.
This is so homemade.
Connor might be the worst gift opener on the fucking show.
What's he doing?
That's been my reputation for years.
I'm a terrible gift opener.
You pissed him off.
Whoever put this one together really triple taped it to make sure it wouldn't break.
Oh, that must be TJ.
Oh, what is that?
What the fuck?
Body armor water.
Body armor water.
But wait.
Wait.
But wait.
TJ, what was yours?
TJ's zero.
I had a hundo.
What's a hundo?
And a pillow.
Mypillow.com?
But what's on the inside of the box?
What could it be?
Whoa.
Apparently the card.
Shit.
Hold on one sec.
Oh, is it a cat?
It says you got the tickets.
Long Island Nets versus the Grand Rapids Gold.
Saturday, January 14th.
Whoa.
At the Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum.
That's lacrosse.
Row one.
Sam.
Seeds two through five.
Wow.
It's four tickets to a G League game.
Four tickets to a G League game.
TJ, cool gift.
Great gift, TJ.
What a burden.
Fucking chore.
Four tickets to a G League game.
Front row.
Oh, God.
Connery, I'm sure you want that.
All right, Nicky.
I'll take it for sure.
It's Nicky's time.
So would Brandon steal the speaker from me?
No, he doesn't want that.
But if he steals the speaker from me, I get the joints.
What's he going to do with the speaker?
I don't want the speaker.
I'm going to steal the speaker from you then.
Steal the speaker.
Give me that.
Is it content first?
I take the diorama.
You're in a pickle.
I'm in a real pickle.
Just take the speakers. Take the speakers.
The diorama has a real... The speaker's very nice.
Yeah, I know. Real chocolate. Fine, but I don't know
what's in my bag. Yeah, no, I'm going to open your bag.
I'm going to end it. That means I don't get to open a present.
Well, you get the speaker. I'll
open it for you. You could get the diorama.
It's delicious.
This frosting is a creamy vanilla.
Does Big Cat Men get to steal something?
If I want to.
Or he could steal anything, or he could open the diorama.
Maybe.
I would steal something.
No, I'm opening.
Sweet.
What could this be?
Oh.
This is actually sick.
It's a fucking drone.
What?
Hayden splurged on a drone.
Bro, this is sick. That is cool. Wait, what's the camera?ged on a drone. Oh! Hey! Bro, this is sick.
That is cool. Wait, what's the camera?
That's a camera.
That would make sense.
It's a camera.
It goes into the drone?
No, they're two separate things.
Dude, this is exactly what I wanted.
Yep, gotcha.
I wanted a drone.
Wait, what?
They still sell cameras?
Yeah, wait, what's...
I don't know what this camera is.
Can we learn more about the camera?
I don't know. All right, Brandon, so learn more about the camera? I don't know.
Brandon, you've got to make one last trade.
You've got to make a trade.
You have to end with a trade.
I don't have to make a trade. I don't have to do anything.
I am going to disperse
some gifts from my gift to my friends.
Wow.
Yeah.
Bro, this is sick. I've always wanted a drone.
Thank you.
I'm going to crash it.
Why don't you just buy a drone?
He can't.
Yeah, I could have done that.
You're right.
You're right.
I could have done that.
But, like, the thing is, there's less guilt crashing a free drone.
Right.
Yes.
Right.
Right.
Yes.
Facts.
And the camera.
Don't forget the camera.
Hey, you're not allowed to give that to your wife. That's my one condition. What is this camera? Tell me. Facts. And the camera. Don't forget the camera. You're not allowed to give that to your wife.
That's my one condition.
What is this camera?
$44.
What was your price limit?
$80?
$40.
The whole thing was $40.
I spent way more than $40.
Thank you, Kay.
Yeah.
I grabbed the wrong one, the wrong Nespresso at, I don't know what the nice store is that sells pots and pans.
But I got in line.
It was so long.
And that one actually has the milk frother.
That was significantly more than $300.
Oh, nice.
Well, thank you.
Stephen Shays Waxman.
I get it.
You got the pussy URL?
Oh, my God.
Yeah, where's the pussy URL?
Brandon, let me get some of that fitness shit, bro.
Kate got that.
Should we do a...
I don't know why that didn't...
Oh, yeah, wait.
Where's the pussy thing?
Should we do a sing-along to end?
Probably.
Yeah, what song?
Oh, my God.
This is so good.
Oh, my fucking God.
Let's all have one.
What song should we sing?
You want some of this?
I bet you my $500 speaker tastes like ass.
Steven, you could probably just text it to her.
I have something to show her.
All right, show us.
A little peaches and cream?
This is our last episode of the year.
Last episode of the year, yeah.
I believe this will be the last episode of season nine.
Big cat.
Okay.
Season 10X when we come back.
Whoa.
And to ring in the new season, the graphics team made us a new intro for
the show oh this is awesome we've seen this yeah
wow
wow Wow. Oh, man. Yo, TJ, pull that up.
Come on.
Wow.
That's awesome.
That is so sick.
That's awesome.
Wow.
Shout out to the fucking graphics team.
Holy fuck.
I have rules.
That's a delight.
Also, shout out to the boy, Stin, who's made that intro song.
It's been great. Yeah. To the boy. The boy, Stin Who's made that intro song It's been great
The boy Stin
I'm eating some of the chimney
And?
Did you know I had to cut the chocolate to fit the roof
Oh my god
Architecture
Have a bite of that?
Really?
Have a bite of that, Don?
No
So what song should we end with?
Trade me the camera for it
Okay
Trade me your drone for the roof of the end with? Trade me the camera for it. Okay.
Trade me your drone for the roof of the house.
I'll trade you the camera.
I'm so confused. Is this a camera?
I don't understand the camera.
Is it like waterproof?
I don't know.
I just want a bite.
What is it, Rowan?
Trade you the camera for a bite.
It's a film camera, too.
Those things are coming back.
K was on his goofy shit with that one.
Just karate chop the house and fucking take some of the G bread.
Little marshmallow tree that was in the window of the house.
KB, punch the house.
Yeah, end it with a punch to the house.
Yeah, KB, you can punch the house, truly.
Go ahead.
Karate chop it.
Can he punch it from the backside towards the camera so it flies at the camera?
You can punch the house.
I don't want to.
It's really good.
I appreciate that.
Yeah, well, I'm going to eat it anyway, so you might as well.
I'm not punching it.
Sorry.
Kate worked tirelessly on it.
I think I got some glue.
No, no, there's no glue on that.
No, it looks, I mean, that's not chocolate.
Is that chocolate, Kate?
That's glue.
That's glue.
I'm eating glue. Jesus, Kate, you're going to kill us all. Was that chocolate? No, I mean, that's not chocolate. Is that chocolate, Kate? That's glue. That's glue. I'm eating glue.
Jesus, Kate, you're going to kill us all.
Was that chocolate?
No, I'm eating glue.
Yeah, it looks like glue more than chocolate.
Wait, I forgot one thing.
Yeah, you glued it.
You pulled the chimney.
I just ate a shitload of glue.
Yeah, I just had some chimney too and my stomach's starting to hurt.
Zoom in on this.
I just ate a whole piece of it.
Wait, say you just ate chimney as if you were a Native American.
I just ate chimney.
That's glue. I just ate chimney. I forgot.
That's glue.
I just ate glue.
I forgot about the chimney.
I'm sorry.
I ate the glue.
You didn't eat it.
No, I ate, because I ate three pieces before I realized there was glue.
I totally forgot.
Yeah, I ate some glue.
The chimney was falling apart.
That's right.
Okay.
Glue never hurt anyone. Sorry for laughing so hard. All right, all right. It, I ate some glue. The chimney was falling apart. That's right. Okay. Glue never hurt anyone.
Sorry for laughing so hard.
All right, all right.
It's okay for enjoying yourself.
Okay.
You just, you apologized for laughing?
Yeah.
Always.
Because he ate glue.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it's pretty funny, though.
My stomach hurts so much after having an eggnog bottle in the house of glue.
And a shot.
Oh, no.
Oh, yeah, and a shot, bro. And you've been pretty sick.
And you're wearing a wool suit.
You do not look hot anymore. I feel so bad.
Alright.
Well, I love all of you. Love you guys.
Merry Christmas. Hey, I just sent you a very
important text message. Oh, no.
Is it Rachel Dolezal's text?
He just sent me the URL.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Happy New Year. Milf Hartley.
Happy New Year.
Wow.
Yep.
Puttings we bring.
Oh, my God.
To you and your kids.
That's a lot of putts.
Wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Wow.
Oh, yeah, some biggie puttings.
Oh, bring us some biggie puttings.
Oh, bring us some biggie put So bring us some baby pudding.
Pudding, not pudding.
No, Pud Cusack.
Pud Cusack.
Pud Cusack.
You and your kids.
Good driving.
Merry Christmas and a happy new year.
This food will get some.
We won't go until we get some.
We won't go until we get some. We won't go until we get some.
We'll have to bring it right here.
You and your kids.
Happy Christmas and a Happy New Year.
We wish you a happy new year.
We love a little figgy potty.
Figgy potty. Figgy pudding.
Cue sack.
And him.
And his favorite.
To you and your kids.
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Yay!
Merry Christmas.
We love you all. Good treat. Merry Christmas See everyone next year
We love you all
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year from the Yak
We love you all
I ate so much glue It's the act. It's your drug, the act style. It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act.
That's time to talk shop.
The do a Yankees love.
It's the act.
It's the act It's the act Merry Christmas everybody.
Happy New Year.
We love you all.
Big up to everybody.
Hopefully I make it back
and I see you guys sometime mid-January.
Everybody, happy holidays.