The Yak - The 2023 Yak Christmas Spectacular Presented By Factor | The Yak 12-22-23

Episode Date: December 22, 2023

Have a 10X holiday everybodyYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up. Welcome, welcome. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. It's the Yak. Presented by Roback. Q-Zips.
Starting point is 00:00:39 Roback.com, promo code Yak. 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, everything. Roback.com. Promo code Yak. The people just missed it, but we have all of our gifts here. Paige and Caitlin Walker, Paige, our office manager, and Caitlin Walker were nice enough to wrap all of our gifts. And two seconds before we started, Sass goes, my gift's not wrapped.
Starting point is 00:01:02 They're like, well, did you give it to Paige? She was wrapping all the gifts. He's like, no, I just put it in my coat. So we have all the gifts wrapped and then Sass's coat. If you could just zoom. And then you were like, my gift sucks? My gift does suck, and I feel bad about it, but I had a better gift. I left it at the hotel, though.
Starting point is 00:01:24 So you get double gift. I'll double gift. Double gift. So this set looks amazing in here, but I just gotta ask, Titus, where's your holiday spirit, man? I wasn't... We need to do a holiday show for every holiday. I know. I can't wait for MLK day. I know.
Starting point is 00:01:43 I thought your feet were actually gifts in the pile. I think that's a gift too. Yeah, I want that. I want that pad. There's a big one behind Titus too. I have a feeling that's going to be hard to fly home with. Oh, no. So we have it.
Starting point is 00:01:57 We're missing KB. Everyone has that family member that's always late. Also, we have two surprises. what i've already told you guys about i have a surprise christmas wheel that people can opt into and i have one other surprise that maybe we should start with should we start with a surprise i think we started very nice um i've texted the i've texted the the booth about the surprise. It might take a minute. We'll yak and the surprise will happen. Okay. Okay?
Starting point is 00:02:27 Amazing. I'm excited. Yeah, super excited. Can you give us any hints about your second surprise while we're waiting on the first surprise? There's a wheel that I've made. It's called Big Cat's Christmas Wheel, and it is built so people can play from home. Oh. All you need is one two things
Starting point is 00:02:45 very easy to get both things and anyone who wants to opt in is allowed to play but if you choose to not opt in you are then not allowed to join I might opt out I'm already ready to opt in
Starting point is 00:03:00 you want to opt out with me? yeah big time you can absolutely opt out oh me? Yeah, big time. You're fine. You can absolutely opt out. Oh, fuck. Wait, he's not disappointed enough. Yeah. No, it's got to be like some sort of.
Starting point is 00:03:12 Oh, there he is. Oh, B. That's my surprise. KB was going to come in. Oh. Damn. Damn. You look fly as hell.
Starting point is 00:03:19 What's that beanie? What room were you sitting in waiting for us to start? I wasn't. It's amazing. Woo! We just started two seconds ago. It was not live, though. Yeah, no.
Starting point is 00:03:30 You guys could have texted me, like, hey. We did. I did. Yeah, we did. We said, though, it's like every- You can just start now. All right, welcome in. Use it.
Starting point is 00:03:42 Thank you. No, I said that every family has that one guy. Oh, yeah, my bad. Gym or weed? Which one is it? Gym or weed? Did you have too much weed or did you have too much gym? I would never smoke before this show.
Starting point is 00:03:57 You've had before? Maybe once. You smoked at 6 in the morning that one time. That was it, yeah. I wouldn't be able to speak. That was gym. You were at 6 in the morning that one time. That was it, yeah. I wouldn't be able to speak. That was Jim. You were at the gym? No, I had to go to Macy's.
Starting point is 00:04:11 Wait, for the sweater you're wearing now? I had to get some things for the gifts. Yo, is it? Wait, one second. Oh! Santa's here. Santa's here. Santa's here. Wow.
Starting point is 00:04:29 Unbelievable. What the hell? TJ, should we open the door real quick so we can wheel in her gift? That's my fault. Stay out there. No, we'll wheel it in. Who could that be? That's even better.
Starting point is 00:04:42 It's Santa. Surprise number one. What a surprise. You's Santa! That's a surprise number one. What a surprise. You knew Santa had to come. Santa's been on maternity leave. That's right. That's progressive as hell. Santa's on maternity leave.
Starting point is 00:04:58 Good boys and boys. Luke, help TJ wheel in the big gift that Santa brought for all of us. What a beautiful gift. Santa, so good to see you. How has your entire year been since we saw you last year? Pretty chilly. Santa's here. Yes.
Starting point is 00:05:15 Hemorrhoids. Yeah. Oh, Santa. Jesus Christ. Santa, we don't need to hear that. That was her first words back on the jack. What the fuck is in that massive box? Be extra careful with my pants.
Starting point is 00:05:31 It used to be a baby. It used to be a baby. I thought I was under the impression it was a baby. The child was in there. I swear it's not my baby. How is Buckshot? He's actually here. Is he?
Starting point is 00:05:45 Is that him? Oh, that's awesome. Good luck. Santa, stop by. You can leave it right there. He's unnaturally handsome. I know. I don't understand it. So what do you have for us, Santa?
Starting point is 00:06:02 Well, actually, no. First of all, we miss you very much. Thanks. I miss you. I watch the show. I feel like a loser. I try not to go in the chat. Have we gotten- Luke sucks, by the way. Have we gotten too misogynistic without you around? No, I think you could up it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:17 You could up it a little bit more. Say no more, slut. Thanks, Cunt. Speaking of misogynistic, I have been getting messages from the Lady Yakkers saying they do miss me. A couple of them, at least. So I have a special Christmas present specifically for the Lady Yakkers. Maybe that's what I brought. Maybe it's not for you guys.
Starting point is 00:06:38 And I also wanted to combine it with who sang a song last year beautifully but it's not here with us this year tyler tyler oh man talk about something that didn't go well we have the empire state building right so i thought i would sing a song i think i'm gonna do silent night something like that okay um and so you can sing along with me you don't have to but i'm gonna sing that for you guys and then i'm gonna go because my baby's here. Let's talk about breastfeeding. I'm breastfeeding him. I'm going to take the bottle.
Starting point is 00:07:11 If you guys want to sing, they're down here somewhere. I'm going to talk about my tits. What happened to your beard, Santa? I think I accidentally bought you an extra large suit. No, it was needed. We were used to old you.
Starting point is 00:07:26 I haven't bounced back yet. But I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to sing. I hope it's not weird. There's no joke to it. I'm going to sing Silent Night. Should we get like a karaoke and you put the headphones on? You want the music behind it or are you going to go acapella? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:40 Maybe less weird. Okay. Here we go. I'm going to do it. That was fast, AJ. Oh, the music's already up. Tell me when to start. Violent night.
Starting point is 00:07:59 Holy night. All is calm. Oh, my God. I look like shit. All is gone. Oh my god, I look like shit. All is right. Clown, young virgin, mother and
Starting point is 00:08:16 child. Some of these are the exact cards from Love Actually. It's a reference. It's so tender and mild. Sleep in heavenly peace. Sleep in heavenly peace. No.
Starting point is 00:08:48 Silent night. Silent night. All is calm. All is bright. Sound young virgin. Mother and child Holy in the desert mile
Starting point is 00:09:13 Sleep in heavenly peace Sleep in heavenly peace. Tiny child, smallest child. Heaven's big,. Young child. Mother.
Starting point is 00:09:49 And child. Holy infant. So tender and mild. Sleep in heavenly peace. Sleep in heavenly peace. Thanks, guys. That was beautiful. Hey, Paige.
Starting point is 00:10:22 What's up, Paige? Thank you. My headlights? Headlights? Oh, Paige. What's up, Paige? Thank you. My headlights are off. Headlights? Oh, shit. Time out. I'm in driver's. I'm right back.
Starting point is 00:10:29 I swear to God, I will be right back. All right. Okay. All right. I want to do another song. It'll be fast. You'll be right back. Amazing.
Starting point is 00:10:36 That was hilarious. I love you. All right. I'll be right back. I'll be right back. 30 seconds. See you in a second. Bring him on.
Starting point is 00:10:41 Yes. Bring your son on. Yes. Come back and bring your son on. Perfect. See you in a second. See you in a second. Buckshot on. Yes, bring your son on. Yes, come back and bring your son on. Perfect. See you in a second. Perfect. Buckshot.
Starting point is 00:10:47 Wow, what a welcome. Great seeing Santa. Great seeing Santa. Come back and just sing like that. I miss Kate. The long-ass song. It was weird that she was just singing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:03 I thought she was going to stop. We were freestyling. I thought it was going to stop. We were freestyling. I thought there was going to be more to it. That was it. What did we do? Should we start? Yeah, let's start. And when she comes back, we'll finish talking to her.
Starting point is 00:11:19 Perfect. Seeing everything. I thought headlights was like another breastfeeding joke. I did too. Probably is. Yeah, she probably used to go breastfeed. That's just funny though. Damn, legendary.
Starting point is 00:11:32 Wow, so good to see Kate. I know. How long does maternity leave last? Four months? Six? We got to ask her. Four. What is this, Europe?
Starting point is 00:11:40 Four. How long is put to be a week? That was 12 hours. I think it's while you're fucking Thanks Harry My kids were actually born on Wednesdays and Fridays So I didn't have to My first son was 12 hours That was by design for sure
Starting point is 00:11:59 So I didn't have to do PMT They respected your schedule? Yeah they did, they respected the schedule They respected what was up. Actually, no. I was in West Virginia for my third son. That's right. Was that?
Starting point is 00:12:11 Yeah, yeah. Got to the green room. Got the national anthem off. Yeah. It's like, oh, my water broke. Oh, shit. Particularly good national anthem that year. My bad.
Starting point is 00:12:19 It was great. Nothing happened. It was a lot of passion. Look at all these gifts. You landed, sang, and left, right? Yes. Yes. That was a lot of passion. Look at all these gifts. You landed, sang, and left, right? Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:12:29 That was especially a scary time. We had to have bought up 80% of the Star of David wrapping paper in Chicago. Yes. Yeah. It's a Christmas special. I like the representation, but we didn't need to do that. Hanukkah is long over. Hanukkah has passed.
Starting point is 00:12:45 We got a problem. My gift is upstairs. Oh, no. You guys are going to know. Is it that? No, just tell where it is. Paige will go get it and wrap it. I already put it in a gift bag with that wrapping. All right, so tell Paige.
Starting point is 00:13:02 Oh, so we will know. So tell Paige and she'll put it in a box. Well, Kyle's was homemade. I don't fucking want that wrapping. All right, so tell Paige. Oh, so we will know. So tell Paige and she'll put it in a box. Well, Kyle's was homemade. I don't fucking want that shit. Mm-hmm. I do, I do, I do. Tell Paige to put it in a box. Okay, yeah, I mean, I feel bad, but...
Starting point is 00:13:14 No. Well, what? She's been awesome. I feel like there's too many gifts. There might be. We also don't know what... No, because Zah, Steven, TJ, 11. There should be 11 gifts.
Starting point is 00:13:28 Yeah, there's too many. No, there's 10. No, there's 10. This is 11. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. And when we start the gifts. 12. 12, yeah, that's 12.
Starting point is 00:13:37 We have to wait until Kate gets back so that she can open her gift. What are we going to do with her son? Do we just talk to him? Is he going to come on? Yeah. Oh, yeah, we'll talk to him. What do you talk about with a newborn child? He's not going to get any of our jokes.
Starting point is 00:13:53 Maybe Brandon's. Gaga? Brandon, you should play golf against Kate's babies. Why? Sass. Hold on. We played two matches on the simulator. I won the first one. You won the second one.
Starting point is 00:14:08 Why are you acting like the second one's all that counted? Because I was much more warmed up and we played for double the amount of holes. We only played two holes the first time we played. Incorrect. We played like five holes both times. Not correct, brother. I chipped in. Not correct. Incorrect.
Starting point is 00:14:25 Damn, is Sass the new stick of the office? I think so. Not Francis. Brandon is a one-trick pony. He's got the greatest drive of all time. Is it the greatest drive of all time? It's pretty goddamn good. Pretty damn good.
Starting point is 00:14:37 Because my drive is like 20 yards shorter than his, and mine actually— You don't even hit the driver, Sass. You hit a four-iron. That's pussy shit. And it goes— And, dude, your driver went you're talking about 30 yards my worst drive went 30 yards yes that's exactly what i'm talking about oh it's good to it's good to have everyone here christmas special that's part of vibes are high argument between family members yeah
Starting point is 00:15:02 yeah actually i forgot to say that if you uh if you start the yak exactly at 8 o'clock at night on Christmas Eve, we will crescendo when your first family fight happens. Sass and Brandon will play this fight. That's right. So it will be perfectly lined up. That's our promise. Are there any yak families out there? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:19 They're going to sit down on Christmas Eve and watch? Oh, yeah. The Hitchings family? Ah. The number one yak family. Sass didn't hear that, but he just laughed along. Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:30 He had no idea. Oh, I gotcha. I had some ideas in my head. What's your idea? Yeah, what'd you think? Don't worry about it. You're such an asshole, bro. I could have let him get away with it.
Starting point is 00:15:42 There's probably young families that- I fuck with that lid, bro. Huh? I fuck with that lid. Thank you, bro. I fuck with your lid. Just had to get away with it. There's probably young families that... I fuck with that lid, bro. Huh? I fuck with that lid. Thank you, bro. I fuck with your lid. Just had to get that out there. You're a legend for that.
Starting point is 00:15:51 But there's probably young families who birthed a child while they were listening to the act together. You think we have any dink families? Ooh. Duel income dope. Oh, yeah. I'm a dink. I'm a dink. I'm a dink.
Starting point is 00:16:04 I get to eat out. No, no. Yeah, I go to Whole Foods. Yeah. I'm a dink. I'm a dink. I'm a dink. I'm a dink. I'm a dink. I get to eat out. No, no. Yeah, I go to Whole Foods. Yeah. It's lesbian. Why would dink be lesbian? I think dink would be gay couple. That whole trend was the perfect thing that sucked about every part of the internet.
Starting point is 00:16:16 Yeah, that was awful. Because it was like those people sucked, but then it was also all the people that jumped in that were like, actually having children is the only thing we're on earth to do. Yeah, you're ruining the traditional family household. It's okay to be normal in the middle where it's like, yeah, I love having kids, but there's sometimes I wish I was a dink. Yeah, sometimes. And I bet you there's sometimes dinks are like, I wish I had kids.
Starting point is 00:16:38 Yeah, I wish I had a purpose in life. Yeah. Or just not caring if somebody chooses not to have kids. Yeah, right. I don't care. Mind your own business. But they go viral as hell. They've been popping up everywhere.
Starting point is 00:16:48 The Dinks? Yeah. That was Doug. His neighbor was Mr. and Mrs. Dink. Oh, they were. Oh, yeah. That's right. And they had all the gadgets.
Starting point is 00:16:59 That's right. Have you guys ever seen the Christmas movie where it's like Heat Miser and- The Year Without a Santa Claus. Yeah. Oh, yes. The voice of the Christmas movie where it's like Heat Miser and A Year Without a Santa Claus The voice of the Christmas Miser's name is Dick Sean Is that like Claymation? Yeah I love Claymation I used to make Claymation
Starting point is 00:17:17 Oh big nerd Claymation pisses me off I have like five seasons of this Claymation I made called Hammer Man So when are we going to watch? I have them all on VHS at home. Okay. So when are we going to watch? I'll bring them in.
Starting point is 00:17:31 You should sell that to Comedy Central. Yeah, man, why not? Why didn't I fucking think of that? Wait, how old were you when you did it? Eighth and ninth grade. Oh my God, I can't wait to watch it. Imagine if it was you writing. It took so long.
Starting point is 00:17:42 You writing like dramatic dialogue for a claymation. There was a sex scene between a hammer and a mallet. That's kind of funny. Thanks, man. Is that getting nailed? I didn't think of that, no. Shit. Wallace and Gromit sucked, though.
Starting point is 00:17:56 I don't know how that got so big. Not when they went to the moon when it was made of cheese. No, that sucked. I love claymation. Oh, I can't get into it at all. I'm familiar with the heat minds. You ever heard of Nick Mullen, Wallace and Gromit bit? It's just him just doing gay Wallace and Gromit. Go figure.
Starting point is 00:18:11 Fuck my ass, Gromit. It plays. It plays. That is damn good. I wish I had thought of that. Fuck, what a genius. Starting for the Vikings. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:23 Spark. He was a spark. Why are they pulling Dobbs? He stinks. And he's getting everybody hurt. Yeah, I'd say that's probably why. He's had some moments, though. Yeah, but he's not good.
Starting point is 00:18:32 People, like, when he added that first game, everyone was like, they might win the Super Bowl. A good rule about quarterbacks. NFL. Yeah, but a good rule about quarterbacks is, like, if they've played a decent amount and they're not, like, a starter somewhere, they probably stink. Yeah, that makes sense. He would have been smart to, like, break his leg after three games. That's what I always say.
Starting point is 00:18:51 Like, as soon as a guy gets in, you have two good games, just go out with an injury. Yeah. And just live that backup life. Like the old Matt Flynn had it best. Oh, yeah. Teams used to be able to flip a guy for like a second-round pick if he had five good games.
Starting point is 00:19:06 Yeah. AJ Feely. Yeah, didn't Matt Castle. Matt Castle. Matt Castle. He started for the Chiefs for a while. Matt Flynn. Matt Flynn, yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:13 Matt Flynn. He was the other one. Matt Castle wasn't terrible, though. Yeah, no, he wasn't bad. He started for Brock Osweiler. Yeah. Who's the Gwyneth Paltrow backup quarterback? What?
Starting point is 00:19:22 You think of a backup quarterback. Jim Sorge. You don't think of one. Who are you thinking of? Brian Hoyer. Oh, man. Gardner Mins quarterback. Jim Sorge. You don't think of one. Who are you thinking of? Brian Hoyer. Man. Gardner Minshew. Jim Sorge.
Starting point is 00:19:28 Chase Daniel. Chase Daniel. He started a game every single year when Peyton Manning would sit out the last game. Jim Sorge would start week 16 or week 17. Yeah, but Chase Daniel, I think there's like a stat that he's been paid like $3 million per touchdown pass. That's awesome. Because he's like 15 touchdown passes and he's made $45 million.
Starting point is 00:19:48 Colt McCoy's had a hell of a backup. Yeah, he was a backup for like 15 years. Is he still in the league? No, he just retired. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah, he got to live in San Diego. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:00 Just chilling. He's just hanging out. What do you think the worst team to play for would be location-wise? Green Bay. Green Bay. It's not even close. Why? It's Green Bay.
Starting point is 00:20:10 It's freezing cold and there's nothing to do. What about Buffalo? Buffalo's got winds. It's a fun city. It is? Yeah, they like football. There's people there. Green Bay likes football.
Starting point is 00:20:22 Green Bay loves football. What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? No. What the hell? What the hell is this? What is going on? Kate got us a Wayfair kit.
Starting point is 00:20:37 Wait, you were in here? You got smoked. Kate left, buddy. You get out. You get out. Dude, you were crammed in there. There's no way she'll have their headlights on. It was the Colt McCoy conversation that got you to pass out.
Starting point is 00:21:05 You'll be fine for a day. $7.50, you'll be fine for a day. It's Christmas. Oh, man. That was fucking incredible. That was so good. Goddamn, Kate. Big Cat, did you know that was going to happen?
Starting point is 00:21:18 Yes. Oh, that was surprise number one. Well, she had to help set it up. I was like, she was talking through it, and she was going to just never say the word. That's so good. I was like, but he'll bust out right away. So I was like, get Paige to say your headlights are on. What a fucking cameo from Kate.
Starting point is 00:21:32 Unbelievable. That was so good. He's putting on his jams. He's going home. He's walking in his jams. He's getting the fuck out. Oh, man. He had such a rough day, too.
Starting point is 00:21:47 Wait, did you come in here just for that he said yes no here's the best part kate so kate and i were texting before because we almost had a problem with uh uh scheduling because nicky smokes has a date tonight i don't know if you saw he was wearing his date shirt yeah oh yeah and he texted kate and. I don't know if you saw, he was wearing his date shirt. Yeah. Oh yeah. And he texted Kate and said, uh, don't hate me, but I have a date tonight at eight. I really like her. I'm not just trying to fuck her.
Starting point is 00:22:13 Yeah. It's seven 52. Yeah. It's seven 52. Is that why he said, what time is it? When he popped out. I thought he 100% would have had his phone in there or something.
Starting point is 00:22:24 A book. He was just sitting in there with nothing. He went way longer than he should have. Any person should have. I thought as soon as the headlights thing happened, I thought he was going to get out and be like, wait, where are you going? That was so perfect. I couldn't focus on anything else. I'm tired of sitting there.
Starting point is 00:22:42 Imagine explaining why you're late to the date, i was in a box whose box i feel like we could have made that go for a long time well yeah like oh shit kate had to move her car yeah oh man that was so good that was very uncomfortable in there too oh look how small that thing was how he was like this for the last and he also we started the show he was already in the box when we started the show oh so he's been he was in this and he also we started the show he was already in the box when we started the show so he was in that box for like 35 minutes that's crazy he's going to wake up like sore
Starting point is 00:23:13 he got smoked that was a 100 out of 100 cameo I love how that was his first thing he said yeah how long were you in that box for? It felt like an hour.
Starting point is 00:23:27 I think it was close. It was an hour? Say he's waiting for me to say the code word. Yeah, see that? He's waiting for me to say the code word and then he said,
Starting point is 00:23:36 but I'll never say the code word. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Wow, he got us figured out. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:44 Incredible prank. Have a good date, though, bro. Yeah figured out. Yeah, incredible prank. Have a good date, though, bro. Yeah, hey, you're not trying to fuck, but. She told you that, too? Yeah. That's embarrassing. Real quick, Nick. Nick, come here.
Starting point is 00:23:58 Come here real quick. You got caught not trying to fuck. Wait, don't worry. This is your reputation. You got caught not trying to fuck. Don't worry. worry. This is your reputation. You got caught not trying to fuck. Don't worry. This isn't going out. This isn't live.
Starting point is 00:24:10 That's fine. But, Nicky, what if she does try to fuck? Then I'll lay a stick. Okay, all right. You lay a stick. Call us after you fuck. We might still be doing this. Yeah, call us after you fuck.
Starting point is 00:24:19 And slide back through. Yeah, put her in a box. Put it in her box. All right, have fun nicky kind of fucked up you're not trying to fuck he said all right i'm piecing this together he's also reading it out of order so wait we're headlights on or no like what dude what's he trying to go on that was a, what? Dude, imagine trying to go on a... The box a lie?
Starting point is 00:24:47 The box not real? Imagine trying to go on a date and not trying to fuck? He likes her. Could not be me. I just love that qualifier. I'm going on a date and not trying to fuck. That's how much I like her. He texts that to, like, a woman co-worker he barely knows.
Starting point is 00:25:01 Just say you're going on a date. Yeah. You got a date. That's how serious he is about this. I'm not trying to fuck. That was so great. With him getting caught not trying to fuck. Busted.
Starting point is 00:25:13 He's like, bro, she told you. Fuck. He gets legitimately mad when we say, like, yo, the streets are saying you don't get a lot of pussy. I mean, he does, though. Yeah. That's the problem. Sass and Ron, do you guys have a lot of interactions with Nicky Smokes?, he does, though. Yeah. That's the problem. Sass and Roan, do you guys have a lot of interactions
Starting point is 00:25:26 with Nicky Smokes? Just when I've been out here. That's it? Yeah. He shines brighter than in person than he does on camera, I think. I think that he has a little bit of a charming quality
Starting point is 00:25:36 when you meet him in person. When you see him on camera, you're like, oh, man. Yep. Good review. Oh, man. Yeah, that's exactly right. He is a... That will like tweet me being like don't let nikki smokes on the yak he's a douchebag it's like no no we know yeah he's a douchebag it's been if you weren't
Starting point is 00:25:56 wouldn't be on the yeah right he's also a great dude though yeah he is that's um i like that gets we're just telling that about everyone. Everyone's a good dude. I don't know if he's a good dude. I think he has a good heart. I don't think he's a bad person. You guys know anyone with a bad heart? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:14 Oh, yeah. Yes, definitely. Kind of me. No, you don't have a bad heart. Everyone's got a little Grinch heart. If you were reincarnated as him tomorrow, what would your move be? What do you mean? Dump sack? Fuck that girl. Fuck everything. Fuck everything that moves. If you were reincarnated as him tomorrow, what would your move be? What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:26:25 Dump sack? Fuck that girl. Fuck everything. Fuck everything that moves. Oh, man, I would totally dump sack all over the place. After the basketball game, though, he had, like, he had baddies. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:42 He has baddies. I feel like there's, like, a perception that he's, like, overselling it, that he doesn't have baddies. No, he's got baddies yeah yeah he has baddies i feel like there's like a perception that he's like overselling it that he doesn't have baddies no he's got bad he does yeah he has baddies i i mean he he moved to chicago and like maybe two weeks after we did that live golf thing and one of the girls who was like showing us around was like do you know nikki smokes i was like yeah why are you from florida she's like no i just met him last week i was like what yeah. Why are you from Florida? She's like, no, I just met him last week. I was like, what? Yeah. Yeah. He has baddies. Okay. And then she fell in love with me and ruined it for Nikki smokes.
Starting point is 00:27:09 Uh, Oh, that was, yeah, that always happens. Class. I'm pretty sure his sister has a crush on me too. Nikki smokes.
Starting point is 00:27:15 She told me that. Big cat, I don't ask for much. He has a sister. What? That'd be the all time smoked, wouldn't it? Dude,
Starting point is 00:27:22 we should all fuck his sister. What if when he popped out of the box, we were just all... Dick! You guys are talking about Jim Sorge and fucking... You got smokes, bitch! Best part is he'd probably be like, sick, you guys are getting pussy. I'm piecing it together.
Starting point is 00:27:42 My sister's here. God damn, you got some juicy yams also i love how that that prank was pretty like if if you just went through it of it it's pretty mediocre prank it's not a prank popping out of the box well like he couldn't get out of that box no it was a terrible literally would have resulted in him like we would have heard a noise and looked over and he'd be like trying to crawl right right if they'd gone his plan it would have been the lamest thing ever yeah what did he agree to he said he's gonna have a rose in his hand yeah come out i'm gonna give you as a box and i'm gonna rose keith yeah we're he is very smart and she basically was like she knows how dumb he is so she was like
Starting point is 00:28:20 we're gonna prank the yak guys and you're to jump out of a box with a rose. Incredible. And he's like, yes, I'm in. Damn, what could be in that moving, really heavy box they had to wheel in? Did you guys know? I heard shit coming from the box. Oh, I did. Oh, I was like, oh, someone's in the box.
Starting point is 00:28:42 I thought it was going to be Spider, to be honest, because I was like, that's the only person that could fit in that box. Oh, fuck. So good. All right. Well right well merry christmas everyone what should we do next we could yak for a while that was surprise one huh yeah well i do have the surprise wheel we have gifts too that we have to figure out what the fuck we're gonna do with i want presents man you want to do presents already maybe i want to know what's that big boy yeah we, we should wait. Whoa. Yeah, I want that. I want it worse, man. What do you guys think it's going to be? There's that one, too.
Starting point is 00:29:10 Yeah, I know. A rolled up carpet? Holy shit, I want either. He's going to be late for his date. I don't know. Hey, Nicky, when's the date? He's casually walking across the basketball court. It's great that he's going on a date with his nicest dolphin starter jacket.
Starting point is 00:29:29 Oh, yeah. I'm going to really impress this girl. You're going to go play table hockey? Get a couple sodas and some slices. What do you think a date is like for him? It can't be like going out to a dinner. It's got to be just going and getting unbelievably fucked up somewhere. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's like appetizers to a dinner it's got to be just going and getting like unbelievably fucked up yeah it's like appetizers is shotski yeah i'd put a little beer pong i was talking to him about it
Starting point is 00:29:53 he's like dinner's awkward just bring me to a bar that's where i feel comfortable oh man so how are we going to decide who gets what that's what we have to figure out i think we have to gamify it somehow s think we should do a round of golf Let's play a full game Quick 18 Do we do it with steels? Do we do wheel? We did wheels with steels last year, correct?
Starting point is 00:30:21 I don't remember Wheels and steels? We definitely did wheel what i remember all right i have another element but it could be verbally said with my gift your gift is verbal confusing yeah part of it is going to be verbal well he did get homemade all right yeah kyle just gives us a think about that is that a prop gift or is that a gift that's got to be a prop oh maybe one of these is a prop gift oh yeah because there's weights there's 11 or there's if somebody one of them has a kitten in it yeah if somebody accidentally picks a prop gift is that just their gift
Starting point is 00:30:52 oh oh we should throw the prop gifts well yeah we all know that could be a fun element wrapping papers prop never mind i think we do i think we should do wheel for gifts but you can't open until there's steals. Yeah. So we don't know what's in them. And then one extra steal when it's open. This is going to suck if we get our own wheel to get to
Starting point is 00:31:13 decide your gift. Yeah you get to pick a gift then we do the steals after. Yeah without opening it. I don't think everyone should get to steal though. If everybody gets to steal. I think we spin the wheel six times. And we'll so
Starting point is 00:31:27 two I've drank too much already. Booze you lose. You're okay. Do we have hard liquor? I'm sure somewhere. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:38 Oh yeah. I think there's isn't there hard liquor over there? Maybe let me know if I can get you a Diet Coke. It's going to be funny because by the time this airs, you're going to be so off the wagon.
Starting point is 00:31:48 I'd actually love a Diet Coke, Seth. Day 19 guys are the cockiest dudes. I'm day 20. My day in that range, you become the biggest arrogant asshole. But enjoy it. Did you just offer a fake Diet Coke? No, this is empty. Yeah, you just offer a fake Diet Coke? No, this is empty. Yeah, you offer KB a Diet Coke.
Starting point is 00:32:08 I was more just trying to make it known that I'm not drinking. He's a Day 19 guy. Day 19 guy. He's a Day 19 guy. He doesn't even have a chip. The community is thriving at Day 19. No, it is the best possible situation. It's a good group of guys.
Starting point is 00:32:23 You know what would be awesome, though? We're all keeping each other above the water. We just spin the wheel. Let's say it lands on me, and then it lands on Big Cat. We have to swap gifts. We'll do that three times. I like that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:35 Should we do the gifts right now, though? It's too early. No, no, no. It's too early. It's way too early. We've got to find that hard liquor for KB. Yeah, we've got to find that. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:32:44 I'm good. I can just do like a pirate water. What about high noon? High noon, you mean. We have high noon? Yeah. Let me just do that one. Let's do some hard liquor, though. Let's find something like blackberry brandy, KB.
Starting point is 00:32:58 I'll take a lap. I'll find something. I remember last time we drank so much eggnog. Blackberry brandy. Doesn't that sound nice? Sounds really nice, man. Are you pregnant? Yeah, it was a very specific craving of pickles and peanut butter great if there's a yeah craving just liquor you know you know that pregnant women crave liquor yeah for sure when can you got it right they have to when can women start uh boozing again after they It depends on if they're breastfeeding. So if they're breastfeeding, do they have to wait like another six months?
Starting point is 00:33:28 Yeah, or they do the pump and dump. Oh, my God. That is brutal. Do women drink wine when they're pregnant now? Is that like a new thing? I think like a glass. Your baby comes out Italian. I was at a wedding. I saw a pregnant woman drinking wine, and I was like, is anyone else going to freak out about this?
Starting point is 00:33:44 I think it's like gone full spectrum where there was a... It makes no sense. It makes no sense, right? I know a plot that I didn't understand in Succession either. Oh, yeah. She was doing coke. When she's just hammering down drinks the whole time. She was doing coke?
Starting point is 00:33:57 Yeah. And they never... No one ever was mad at her. Yeah, shit. I think it's gone full circle, though, where there was a long stretch where they basically were like, everything's bad for you. And now it's back to normal. Moderation's fine. Okay.
Starting point is 00:34:13 Women are not supposed to drink coffee when they're pregnant. And everyone's like, no, you can have a half a cup of coffee. Or have lunch meat. Yeah, lunch meat. Really? Yeah. Lunch meat's insane. Lunch meat, any type of fish. What do you got, Steven? In the 60s, they used to just eat raw hamburger meat. Really? Yeah. Lunch meat's insane. Lunch meat, any type of fish. What do you got, Stephen?
Starting point is 00:34:26 In the 60s, they used to just like eat raw like hamburger meat. Right. Wait, what? Who? The pregnant woman. They used to eat raw liver? Wait, what? Raw hamburger meat? Raw hamburger meat. Are you just trying to guess? Yeah. But it was like a thing. Yeah, Mad Men covered it too.
Starting point is 00:34:42 It was in the series. Interesting. How much of your knowledge about the 60s is from Mad Men? it too. It was in the series. Oh, interesting. How much of your knowledge about the 60s is from Mad Men? Exclusive. Okay. Nailed it. Nailed it. Damn, I need some fucking Blackberry Brandy.
Starting point is 00:34:58 Now that I start thinking about Blackberry Brandy. Yeah, it sounds like it would hit. Fuck. No, the tightest it's funny because it's how fucked up our society is. There's so many restrictions on what pregnant women can and can't eat and all this shit, but it ends up being the anxiety and stress of having to monitor everything is way unhealthier for the baby than any of the stuff. Well, that and you're going to vaccinate your baby and then he's fucked. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:35:20 That's true. Just cancel out everything. Might as well just eat the turkey. Eat the turkey. Might as well just fucking smoke crack If you're gonna vaccinate your baby Smoke crack Literally No difference
Starting point is 00:35:32 Oh Oh Shit What the hell Dang We're not supposed to make attention to it But we are So Kate's just out of here
Starting point is 00:35:41 We can't hang out with her a little Yeah She She has her baby with her, and she's breastfeeding, and probably the baby's not sleeping. I think she's probably home by now. Also, that's for the best. I love Kate, but the way that all went down is perfect.
Starting point is 00:35:54 It was so perfect. She left on the highest of high notes. Absolutely perfect. Leave you wanting more. Do you guys want to do my opt-in wheel? Yes. Who's that? Titus, you didn't say whether you're opting in or not.
Starting point is 00:36:06 I was thinking about it. I was trying to get a read on the room. What are the cool guys doing? Me and Sass are opting out. Yes, Sass are opting out. No, but I'm only going to ask one question about the wheel. You can ask a question. I don't have to answer it.
Starting point is 00:36:19 Is wet on it? I don't have to answer it. It's on it. I'm out. You know what? I'll opt in. I'm not a pussy. All right,'s on it. I'm out. You know what? I'll opt in. I'm not a pussy. I'm not a pussy bitch. So I'll opt in. I'm fully in.
Starting point is 00:36:32 Again, this is... Opt out. This is a wheel that everyone can play at home on Christmas Eve. Okay, then I'm in. Big Cat's Christmas wheel. I'm in. I know Mousetrap's gonna be on it. It has to be. Who wants to be... I have space for two more in the booth. Should we opt out of that?
Starting point is 00:36:47 John, Steven? TJ, you cool not? Opting. TJ knows what's on it. I know it's an opt-in. For the record, I would have opted in. Yeah. All right, we're opting in.
Starting point is 00:36:55 All right, so everyone's in. Who else is in? No, no, you guys are out. You guys are already out. You guys are out. You guys are out. You fist bumped over it. You guys took a celebratory lap over it.
Starting point is 00:37:04 Take it back. Okay, so TJ, make a wheel of everyone who's opted in. We'll spin that. When their name hits, we'll then go to... If it's good, why would we have to opt in? Raise your hand if you're in. Because I didn't want people to opt out and then opt in after. You're such a pussy.
Starting point is 00:37:19 Why am I a pussy? I'm in. Nine people. There's nine slices. I don't know if I want to be in. I don't know if I want to be in either. I'm out. You want to be in. Nine people. There's nine slices. I don't know if I want to be in. I don't know if I want to be in either. I'm out. You want to be in. Come on.
Starting point is 00:37:29 Big break. Be in. I'll be in. I'll be in. Okay. I could have some sort of rush. I mean, listen. There's probably going to be a couple shitty ones like Mousetrap, but somebody's getting at least hundreds of dollars. Yeah. Right? Yeah. But how could you play at home? I don't know. How could everybody watching at home? They could easily play. They don't don't know. How could everybody watching at home?
Starting point is 00:37:45 They could easily play. They don't have to play with it. If they hit $100. They don't have to play with the same amount. Not the same unit size. Amount. Unless it's like throw away one of the gifts. They don't have to play with the same amount.
Starting point is 00:37:55 You can change. You can't change half of the wheel, but you can change the amount on some of it. All right, TJ, everyone's opted in. So spin the wheel with everyone on their name on it. I'm obviously not in it. What? Alright, I got my own wheel too. TJ, I'll send it over in a second.
Starting point is 00:38:15 Do it. Okay, so whoever gets this will get the first spin of the wheel. So the last chance to opt out if you want your name on it. You know what? Fuck it. I your name out. You know what? Fuck it. I'll opt out.
Starting point is 00:38:26 Are you seriously? No, I'm back in. Yeah. Okay. I just want one person out that has to watch and have the foam up. I should have opted out. He's up first. Swag.
Starting point is 00:38:41 Okay. Real one. So the wheel. I have $2,000. See? Uh-huh. I just know this is not good. Well, there's a twist.
Starting point is 00:38:57 There's four slices with $500. Okay. There's four slices with something else, and there's one final slice. So there's nine people. Everyone will get a slice. Wet mousetrap. No, not wet mousetrap.
Starting point is 00:39:14 It's simple. Again, it's so people can play at home. All right, go ahead, TJ. Okay. Slices are as such. Win $500. God damn it, Big Cat
Starting point is 00:39:25 And $500 to Big Cat You can easily play at home You can do it $5 You can't play at home, fuck Everyone gets one slice Maybe he gets the first slice Nobody with available mousetraps at home Has $2,000 to dish out
Starting point is 00:39:44 Again, they play with $5 If you have a mousetrapps at home has $2,000 to dish out. Again, they pay $5. Yeah, right. If you have a mousetrap, you don't have $500. Can we get a mousetrap out here, Steve and Shay? They're in the box to your left. It hurts bad. Big hat on the floor to your left. Doesn't feel good.
Starting point is 00:39:56 KB, can I see your credit card? Brandon. You have to do your finger? Yeah. You can't do a toe? Yeah, sure. Oh, you can do a toe. Do a toe.
Starting point is 00:40:06 I think toe would be way worse. It's locked. Listen, you have a almost 50% chance to win $500 cash right now. Well, is it off the wheel if you get it? Yeah, it goes off the wheel. There's nine slices, nine people. You son of a bitch. Wait a minute, nine people. So somebody's getting $500
Starting point is 00:40:23 to big cap. Yes. You're guaranteeing yourself. I give you $500. You gave us the chance to opt out. I give you $500 right now and opt out. Yeah. So you have no chance to win? Yeah, that's fair.
Starting point is 00:40:34 That's assing, dude. Yeah, that's great. I love negotiating. That's fair. You're a gambling man. Come on, dude. I don't want to. This is how Dave feels.
Starting point is 00:40:43 Negotiating against Seth. Yeah, Seth. Yeah, if that's your negotiating. Can I just pay you $500,000? Dave, I'll just give you several hundred thousand dollars. There's a chance you could win $500,000. I don't want to get the mousetrap, though. It's not that bad. You might not.
Starting point is 00:40:58 You have a 50% chance. All right. Everyone opted in. All right, KB. I know KB's excited about this. Yeah. Is that fired up right now? Yeah, throw it. I know KB's excited about this. Yeah. Is that fired up right now? Yeah, throw it to him.
Starting point is 00:41:07 Yeah, throw it to him. It's not bad. Okay, spin it for KB. I need all the mousetraps off. I would like anyone who tweets me that they're playing this at home on Christmas Eve, I'll reach you. Hey, I was playing at home and I won $500. You could do a total different amount of money. It'd be $10.
Starting point is 00:41:26 I had to put my kid's finger in a mousetrap. He fucking hates Christmas now. Oh, this is electric. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 00:41:39 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 00:41:39 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 00:41:41 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 00:41:43 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 00:41:44 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Fuck yes. Fuck yes Fuck yes Feeling good now The evil run for Big Cat You mean to Venmo you? Yeah, yeah Can I add a wrinkle? I don't think that should go off the wheel
Starting point is 00:41:58 Oh, no Definitely not I agree I agree I don't think it should stay on I think it should stay Alright, you know what? Let's do this.
Starting point is 00:42:05 KB, don't vet my wheel yet. No, yes. No, no. If it lands on the wheel, they split it. Yeah, exactly. So if someone else gets it, then you now both get me two. It would be funny if you got like $1,000. All right, fine.
Starting point is 00:42:16 You want to keep it on? How is that funny, Nick? That's not funny at all. Who's laughing at that? I would laugh. I would laugh. That's kind of funny. It's funny, Nick.
Starting point is 00:42:25 All right, brother. You're supposed to be funny. All right, vote for whether it stays on or not. That's kind of funny. It's funny, Nick. All right, brother. You're supposed to be a funny guy. All right, vote for whether it stays on or not. That's not funny. I'm keeping this one public. On. On. Yeah, keep it public.
Starting point is 00:42:31 On. On. On. On. I say off. It says on. Brandon, if it stays on, there's less chance of mousetrap. There's four ons.
Starting point is 00:42:40 I don't know. Wait, what do you mean on? Keep the big Cat 500 on. Alright, so we're keeping it on. So you could hypothetically make like $4,000? That would be fun, yeah. It's a gamble, brother. We did this, right?
Starting point is 00:42:56 We had to cut it with Tommy. Oh, yeah. And I ended up getting money from everyone. Yeah, when you got him hooked on cigarettes. Or one person got money. No, it's like I was I can't remember why we had to I think we had to cut it because Tommy
Starting point is 00:43:10 I was going to give him money. Brandon, does Tommy believe in Santa Claus? It's a sensitive subject in my house. He's a little why? There are some that It's a mixed bag. Think about what you just asked. You just asked if Tommy Walker who I'm pretty sure knows exactly who did 9-11,
Starting point is 00:43:30 who knows all deep state secrets, believes in Santa Claus. I mean, he's a creative guy. I don't know. Maybe he's got the imagination. The other day, or last year before this, he asked me why Nixon took us off the gold standard. Do you think he believes in that? Santa Claus exists? I don't know how old he is.
Starting point is 00:43:49 I don't know if he's like seven. He's 14 going on, yeah, like a 50-year-old CIA. What did you tell him? Because we're just in Wall Street's pocket? He's 13. I got one kid left that still believes in everything, so I got to protect that. Got it. Yeah. So let's let him watch.
Starting point is 00:44:03 Let's add tell him to the wheel. One of us has to call and tell him. All right. Who's up next? None of y'all have met that one. I'm up next. That one. No, we got to spin the wheel to see who's up next.
Starting point is 00:44:15 Huh? So everything else will get taken off? Everything else will get taken off? Yes. Okay. God damn it. Just you getting money stays home. I mean, the vote was the vote big cat did not
Starting point is 00:44:26 actually propose that idea yeah they don't take bankrupt off the wheel of fortune true i don't know if they do or not hey let's go jay let's go jay oh i don't like that clap yeah i don't want him to win anything come on this is how it works j Che wins 500. I like how the best draft got retired for like maybe 24 hours. Yeah. Fucking Roan. Roan brought it back. Roan brought it back. Middle finger.
Starting point is 00:44:55 Don't get your nail. Just don't get your nail. So where do you go? Sideways. Go sideways. You want it to hit there. Yeah. What if you do right here?
Starting point is 00:45:04 Just get the $500. Just get the $500. Sass is all the way back. Sass is going to win the two grand. It's not two grand. There's no two grand on here. There should be a two grand on there. Oh, yeah. All right.
Starting point is 00:45:19 What will Jay get? Come on. Oh, you got it. This wheel sucks now. I'm out. Che. Holy shit. God fucking damn it.
Starting point is 00:45:33 That sucks. Che, celebrate. Oh, no. What was that? This is Christmas spirit. Taking over. Did he do Black Power? No, he did like. That was the whitest Power? No, he did. He did, like.
Starting point is 00:45:45 That was the whitest thing. Yeah, he did Joe DiMaggio in the Yankees outfield. Oh. 500 bucks. Is everyone having fun? It would be awesome if he threw a party. That was fun. Well, yeah, you're the biggest.
Starting point is 00:45:59 Losing a parlay. Yeah. Why did we leave it on, Nick? Yeah, we just take it off. Yeah, why would you guys do that? Take it off. I don't understand the logic behind we must take it off. Why would you guys do that? I don't understand the logic behind it. Take it off. There's no risk.
Starting point is 00:46:10 But it doesn't make sense. It's still mousetrap. Mousetrap. It doesn't make sense being on. Look at those two fat-ass mousetraps next to each other. Oh, they're big. Just like they are. There's only three.
Starting point is 00:46:19 How about we just leave it off for everyone, but the people that want it on? No. I want three of them on. Go ahead. Spin again. Ow. Just squeeze your finger. Mousetrap.
Starting point is 00:46:33 Pre-owling? Pre-owling the mouse? Oh, there's a big one. All right. Now, if Titus gets $500 a year, everyone else is so fucked. Yeah. If I get $500. No, never mind.
Starting point is 00:46:44 I'm not going to say that yet. Yeah, don't... I'm going to see how everyone else treats me the rest of the show. Oh, shit. Are you thinking about giving back? Yeah, I was going to give back, but we'll see. I don't know. All right.
Starting point is 00:46:57 What if I... Oh, stop, stop, stop, stop. Oh, there we go. These motherfuckers. Oh, my God. Fuck. I stop. Oh, there we go. He's a motherfucker. Oh, my God. Fuck. I'm going to opt out. Yeah, tight as.
Starting point is 00:47:13 Let's go. God damn it, I love it. Fuck. And then there were two. You guys need a hot run on mouth. Oh, man. That is brutal. I hope we just get four mouse traps.
Starting point is 00:47:29 Fuck. I don't want to be next, right? Yes, statistically you do not want to be next. Why? Why would you ask it like that? You obviously want to be next. No. The odds are getting mouse traps really high. Mouse traps are fat right now.
Starting point is 00:47:45 All right, all right. Here's what I'll do. I'll trade someone a free steal of my gift for their spot. Back on the wheel? For their spot, yeah. Because I want to make that money back. Wait. There's a chance I will.
Starting point is 00:48:00 But then if you swap him. And then you get Mousetrapped. Wait, that deal does not help you at all. No, because there's still a chance I can win my money back. Yes, there is. That's the only thing I want right now. All right, I'll trade. I'll trade.
Starting point is 00:48:16 Wait, so what does that mean? Does that mean that I have to pay? Nah, I kind of want you to be on there. Never mind. Keep it going. Can I have the deal? Big Cat, what do you think? No, he's got to be on it. Keep it going. Can I have the deal? Big Cat, what do you think? No, he's got to be on it.
Starting point is 00:48:28 Yeah. Oh, yeah. You got to be on it. So who were you looking to step forward there? I guess me. Darn it. Well, now that I think about it, I want you on the wheel. I'll strap in Brandon as well.
Starting point is 00:48:41 Okay. Roan? Mook? Roan? What do I get? For fucking months, I fought and fought and fought. Okay. Rome. Moog. Rome. What do I get? For fucking months, I fought and fought and fought. I begged. I pleaded.
Starting point is 00:48:51 I offered to suck dick to get Mousetrap off the wheel. I finally succeeded. Two days ago, it was off. It was gone forever. And here comes your happy ass helicoptering in from New York. Put it back on. Why did you opt in, though? Why did you opt in?
Starting point is 00:49:04 And you're going to leave. You knew what it was going to be. You knew Mousetrap was going to be on this wheel. I knew there would be money on the wheel, too. You called it correctly. You knew exactly what this wheel was. I knew there would be money. You know how my brain works. Right. We've been around each other for a lot of years. Is sucking dick still on the table? Put it on the wheel.
Starting point is 00:49:19 That sounds like you've been sucking dick. All Ro did was snap his fingers and Mousetrap was back. It's just so good. It's funny to me and funny. You're leaving. It's funny. That's our job.
Starting point is 00:49:33 It's what don't you get? Put your finger in a mousetrap. It's funny. You feel like you don't get this. What aren't you getting? It's funny to me. So what's the best strategy? That's where fingers are not supposed to go.
Starting point is 00:49:43 You're touching the mousetrap? Yeah. Sideways in. All right, go ahead, TJ. I had to get a smack around the knuckle. Yeah, for a laugh. It smacks twice? No, but there's two bars.
Starting point is 00:49:51 Two bars come down? Yeah. Fuck it. What kind of futuristic mousetraps do you guys have? The oldest. The oldest. I'm still on the one bar mousetraps. Haven't you snapped it on yourself?
Starting point is 00:50:02 You had mousetraps all over the place. Hell no. Why would I? I've been so sure not to do that. Yeah, but it's like the police when they pepper spray each other to know what it feels like. You didn't do that? No, because I'm not a mouse. I'm never going to get caught in a mousetrap.
Starting point is 00:50:18 Famous last words. All right, mouse. Yeah, true. That was famous last words. You sound drunk as hell, Coke boy. All right, Coke boy. I hate Coke boy. You don't want to be up right now. That's why Nick is up.
Starting point is 00:50:34 That's why Nick is up. Oh, boy. Fuck. Come on, Nick. I believe in you. I believe in you. Be great, Nick. How's your finger doing?
Starting point is 00:50:46 I'm going to use the same one. Who's been naughty? Who's been nice? Do it. Come on, Nick. Come on, Nick. Come on, Nick. We won't go until we get somewhere.
Starting point is 00:51:00 Oh! Oh! Yeah, no shit. We won't go until we get some So bring it right here Where is it? Somewhere in between the gifts Go find it, mouse So bring us some figgy pudding
Starting point is 00:51:24 Be great, Nick So bring us some figgy pudding. Be great, Nick. Be great. Dare to be great. This is why, Roan, you need to come out to Chicago once every couple of months because you and I are very much alike. I'm getting soft without you. Yeah. Where it's like, oh, the mousetrap's going away.
Starting point is 00:51:43 And you come back, you're like, no, it's not. Because Brandon's crying over there. Yeah. So we need to, oh, the mousetrap's going away. And you come back, you're like, no, it's not. Because Brandon's crying over there. Yeah. So we need to make sure. Well, what we're doing. We're rewarding crying. Yeah. We're rewarding crying.
Starting point is 00:51:52 Not crying. You are. Our powers combined. We're evil genius. What's he doing? Oh, God. Get the cheese. Get the cheese.
Starting point is 00:52:04 Little mousy. Oh, we should have the cheese. Get the cheese, little mousey. Oh, we should have put a cookie on there. Little Santa Mouse. Who's hungry? He's a hungry little mouse. Get it on there, mousey. He's still in there. You shouldn't have done that, Mousy. That's better than the money.
Starting point is 00:52:32 That was a bad idea. Is it that bad? Yeah, it sucks. I'm just so happy that we have Mousetrap with Sass here. I don't want to cry. Yeah, it makes me want to cry immediately Okay Spill it again
Starting point is 00:52:51 My voice is like trembling Have you guys cried out of pain Like as an adult I haven't cried out of pain Probably since I was I threw out a disc In that My back
Starting point is 00:53:04 I think I did the same thing. I cried. Because I was having back spasms, and I was just laying on my floor being like, just fucking shoot me. That's an unnatural thing. My wife was like, we don't have a gun. Would she have done it? Yeah, for sure.
Starting point is 00:53:16 I would have done it myself. That's crazy. Is that bad? I was just like, fuck y'all. Oh, man. Because you know it's coming, and you can't stop it. So it's literally a back spasm's coming, and your whole body seizes up in pain. I laid on my floor for two days pissing in a Gatorade bottle.
Starting point is 00:53:34 No, really? How long ago is this? I've done it twice. The last time was like 2017. Why can't you get up for two days you can't like if you move it just it seizes and like goes like your body goes in shock is there some sort of trigger this like did you throw your basketball you're playing basketball first time was deadlifts second time was you uh get a podcast out yeah pft and hank came to Wow. Yeah, and I was laying on the couch. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:05 Yeah, it was crazy. That's terrible. It happens to everyone with gamer posture. Yeah. No, I was playing pickup basketball. I was playing pickup basketball, and I felt something, and I was like, oh, fuck, that hurt. I was like, fuck it, I'll stay in.
Starting point is 00:54:19 I stayed in, then left after the games were over, got in an Uber, got home to my apartment in Brooklyn, got out of the Uber, and had to stand leaning up against a pole for 30 minutes because I couldn't move. Oh, my God. Yeah. So, yeah, that's crying. You had that, right, Brandon?
Starting point is 00:54:34 Yeah. Yeah. I swear to God. That's the worst pain in the world. I could. I'd have neighbors. Neighbors had to come. Yeah, it still hurts.
Starting point is 00:54:39 I would have rather paid the $500 than that. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Neighbors had to. What do you mean? I couldn't pay for the house. Oh, the mousetrap? Me and you. Let's swap. I'll pay the $500 than that. Really? Yeah. Neighbors had to... What do you mean get your house? Oh, the mousetrap?
Starting point is 00:54:45 Me and you, let's swap. I'll pay the $500. Oh. No, don't. You might get the... You might get $500. That's the most foolish thing in the world. Yeah, you're going to have to give up your apartment.
Starting point is 00:54:59 You have a chance. It's almost too easy. I'd rather move. I'd rather move apartments. Spit it again, DJ. This is all just, we've always, every time mousetraps come up, we're like, we wish Sass was here. Yeah. It is that thing.
Starting point is 00:55:11 And it's perfect. Yeah. I'm going fishing on Friday. I gotta figure it out. Oh, you won't be able to. You're not gonna be able to. You're definitely not gonna be able to. Oh.
Starting point is 00:55:19 Big boy. Big hoss. Oh, no. Brandon, good things are coming your way, brother. I'll punch you in the fucking face. I got one of the mousetraps off. That's what I'll do to you. You can't talk to me right now.
Starting point is 00:55:29 Do you want to close your eyes and go off our reactions? No. Yeah. Oh, come on. Somebody should have. Go blindfolded. You have to. No, I don't.
Starting point is 00:55:36 Yeah, you do. I don't. I'm about to put my finger in a mousetrap. You have to. I don't. Yeah, do it. You have to. Because you're going to lie.
Starting point is 00:55:43 You're going to lie. It doesn't matter. The wheel's the wheel. You're going to lie. You're going to lie. It doesn't matter. The wheel's the wheel. You're going to lie. We won't change it. You get to see it. Put this over your head. Put it over your head.
Starting point is 00:55:50 We will not change it. Trust me. Shit. Okay. Close your eyes. Wait, what are you doing? All off reactions. Why don't you just close them?
Starting point is 00:55:59 Putting your hands over them. How do you guys want to react? Let's act like he got 500. Yeah. You know how the wheel sounds, so you can open your eyes right at the end if you need to. I wouldn't, though. Okay.
Starting point is 00:56:18 We won't go until we get some. We should just stay silent. Until we get some. Take your headphones off. Just stay completely silent. Take your headphones off. Just stay completely silent. Take your headphones off. Now bring it right here. Silent night.
Starting point is 00:56:32 TJ, go ahead. Holy night. All is calm. All is bright. Beer mousy. Ear mousy. Ear mousy. I told you good things are coming your way. That was awesome.
Starting point is 00:56:59 Get out of the way, Brandon. What a moment. What a moment. There you go Brandon fuck yes it was by a millimeter yeah it was just there's no bigger disparity between $500 and mousetrap you were so close
Starting point is 00:57:17 that's how you feel man I gotta pee you gotta go to the store it's so funny to me he's out of practice You got to go to the store. It's so funny. His head lights up. He's out of practice. Oh, look at that wheel. Because at the end of the New York Yaks, Sass had figured out the system that just don't complain.
Starting point is 00:57:37 And if it happens, you can complain afterwards. But if you don't complain before, there's a good chance something good will happen. And then you look like a tough guy. And now he's back to it. He's relapsing. Yeah, he's like first month Sass. I don't want before, there's a good chance something good will happen, and then you look like a tough guy. Now he's back to it. He's relapsing. Yeah, he's like first month sass. I don't want to make this about me. Has anything good happened to me?
Starting point is 00:57:50 No. Okay. No. Okay. No. Like, in general? But something worse has surely happened to sass. Something way worse has happened to me.
Starting point is 00:58:00 Yeah, you lose all these. Every time. No matter what. Oh, yeah, you do. You always lose these. Yeah. You've never won one of these. Nothing good, yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:09 I would say mine was a little bit worse than the mousetrap. Yeah, dude. Yeah. But that's why you played the game. It was a rush. I'd play it again. We might have to do it again. Yeah, it just might have to be a thing.
Starting point is 00:58:22 Mousetrap's fully back on. But if next Christmas I'm like, $10,000. If you lose, you've got to give me $10,000. Just slowly turns into Squid Game. This is how it started. Big Cat Squid Game. Death. Lose, you've got to kill yourself.
Starting point is 00:58:38 So now that there's four people left and there's one money left. So that means that 75% chance of the next spin is going to be mousetrap. Yes. It's a very, very, very good chance. And if it lands on the money, then it's just mousetrap, mousetrap, mousetrap. We don't even need to spin. Correct. And there's a very clear one person that I am and probably all the listeners are rooting for right now.
Starting point is 00:59:06 Yeah. Big time. To get the $500. Me? Yeah. He's sitting behind you. Who? It'd be Zah.
Starting point is 00:59:17 Damn. All right. Zah's laugh. Wait, Zah, what the fuck you got on your head? Hey, then. Christmas tree. Christmas tree, brother. Oh, tree?
Starting point is 00:59:29 Shake that thing. Zod's. Shake that thing. Zod. Is there a Jerry After Dark going on? Yes, at 9 o'clock. Oh, man. What's he doing?
Starting point is 00:59:39 I told him that once we finish, we'll all go say hello. Yeah, of course. Where's he doing it? He's trying snacks, I think. Right over there. Where'd Brandon go? Oh hello. Yeah, of course. Where's he doing it? He's trying snacks, I think. Right over there. Where'd Brandon go? He's paying. He's spending his money.
Starting point is 00:59:50 Yeah. Brandon was looking in the mirror, making faces at himself like, oh, thank God. That was a big win for him. He was looking at the money in the mirror. I was going to offer Brandon $100 for every extra mousetrap he did. Wow. Hello? He wouldn't do any.etrap he did. Wow. Hello? He wouldn't do any.
Starting point is 01:00:06 Yeah, he would. No. Yes. You have it? What is this combo? What is happening? Want me to go out there? I need blackberry.
Starting point is 01:00:21 What? He's talking to Drizly. He needs blackberry brandy. He's trying to get his blackberry. Oh, he's getting his blackberry brandy. He needs blackberry. You? He's talking to Drizly. He's blackberry brand. He's trying to get his blackberry. Oh, he's getting his blackberry brand. He needs blackberry. You only have blueberry or whatever? Definitely not pink grapefruit.
Starting point is 01:00:36 Nah, it's got to be blackberry. What about, was blueberry all they had? They don't have blackberry? That's fine. Okay, blueberry's fine. Blueberry's fine. Thank you, sir. they don't have that that's all that's fine okay that's fine thank you sir that was good yeah job happy for you i'm happy for you pink grapefruit good job on me it's a big shoot you did great see you see what i opted in bro
Starting point is 01:00:59 i'm still no no no i'm 50 50 on you no what the fuck are you talking about you just got 500 dollars because of me you're gonna get on are you talking about you just got 500 because of me you're gonna get on a plane just fly you never have to worry about mousetraps again yeah no i just i do he put it back on the wheel oh that's right it got you 500 i know and there would have been no wheel if there weren't mousetraps that's fact he would have put something on there what. What's the equivalent of mousetrap? The only reason I put mousetrap on this wheel is because we just did our Tuesday yak where Rone said mousetraps are back on the wheel. And in my head, I was like, yeah, they are.
Starting point is 01:01:34 And I just get, so I made you back it up. I'm a job creator. We may have re-retired him by the time. Has anyone ever gotten it and had no reaction? Oh, yeah. The men. Yeah. We used to have like pussy mousetraps.
Starting point is 01:01:47 Yeah, we got the stronger ones. We got way stronger. Stronger ones? Yeah. Yeah, the ones we used to have didn't hurt at all. These are like medieval rats. Those two bars, like the two marks swelling up, dude. You're going to hate this.
Starting point is 01:01:59 I'm losing my nail from the one I got the other day. I can like barely bend it. Sass, you probably will land on the money. Yeah, you definitely will. I'm not worried about it at all I got the other day. I can barely bend it. Sass, you probably will land on the money. Yeah, you definitely will. I'm not worried about it at all. Right. Because you're a beast. Set that thing up.
Starting point is 01:02:12 Who's up right now? I might do thumb. We haven't spun yet. You can go two fingers. So there's one 500 and three mousetraps left? So if the 500 comes up, then everybody just mousetraps. Sleepy. Ron, have you gone yet? Oh, Ron, I'm rooting for you for the 500.
Starting point is 01:02:38 This is a good-ass game. That'll be some rich-ass shit. That'll be so injustice. If anyone plays along at-ass shit. Oh, that would be so injustice. If anyone plays along at home, they got to send videos. Yes. Their pup-up getting mousetrapped. Yeah. One in four.
Starting point is 01:02:54 Good odds. Great odds. Wait, why is it so small? Oh. Oh. Stop. Stop. Stop.
Starting point is 01:03:01 Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Oh. No! Fuck you.
Starting point is 01:03:09 Fuck you. And a fuck you. Oh, my God. A two, a three, a four, $500. It's the three that need it the most. Yeah. Fucking hot. Che Titus Rhodes. Oh, my God. It's fucking hot. Che Titus Rhone.
Starting point is 01:03:26 It's the perfect friend. Che Titus Rhone, man. God damn it. Zod's going. Zod's going. Watch out. The mouse is here.
Starting point is 01:03:37 Mousey mousey. Mousey. Wait, a little mousey came in. It's a mousey. Oh, he's going full hand. No, no, no. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 01:03:44 He's got to reset it. That's a man of honor One finger One fingy One finger Do the first That's actually the I was gonna do it
Starting point is 01:03:51 Brandon, Che, and Tide Just go and Think about it Just do it That's the best way to do it You can do the first toe Oh first toe Would be left
Starting point is 01:03:58 You gotta do at least You gotta do You can't do full hand You gotta do two fingers Two max Max Fuck You've never done this song Little mousy Wait whoa Set it up a little Mousy You can't do full hand. You got to do two fingers. Two max.
Starting point is 01:04:06 You've never done this song? Little Mousy. Wait, whoa, whoa. Set it up a little. Mousy. Give us a little show. Yeah, be a little Mousy. Be a little Mousy for us.
Starting point is 01:04:16 Be a little Mousy for us. Why don't you squeak? Oh, a little Mousy. Oh, there's a Mousy. Who's hungry? Not bad. That bad. That bad. Did that miss your entire finger? Oh, he threw it again.
Starting point is 01:04:33 Go one finger. You got to go in the long way. One finger and go knuckle up. Go knuckle up. Should I come in sideways or straight on? You got to just go like that and just leave it there. That's the only move. Little mousy.
Starting point is 01:04:47 I'm very happy for you, Rowan. I did not want to see you in that mousetrap. It would have been unjust. There truly is no God, Rowan. It's the best. The wheel is so fucked up. I'm becoming an atheist on Christmas. Who's next, Moog or Sass? There you go, Zach.
Starting point is 01:05:09 Who's next, Mook or Sass? Let's go Mook. Yeah, Sass, you go last. Do we want toe? Can I pay out? I'm going to pay out. Your money's no good here, bro. Thousand.
Starting point is 01:05:22 You're willing to pay 500? Keep going. Oh, I'd pay $500. Keep going. I'd pay $500 instantly. No, thank you. This is worth way more than... Look at that little mousy. Oh. That little mouse is cheese. That mouse... Go slower, mousy.
Starting point is 01:05:42 Come on, mousy. The mouse senses... Oh! What fell out of your mouth? Come on, Mousey. The mouse senses. What fell out of your mouth? Your gumboid? Your mouse? It knocked his tooth out. His tooth out? I really thought it was his tooth.
Starting point is 01:06:00 It's that bad? It's fine. Alright, Seth. Alright, what's the technique? What are you talking about? That's fine. Alright, Seth. Alright, what's the technique? What are you talking about? That hurts. One finger like this. Try to get it to hit there.
Starting point is 01:06:12 What if you do this way? You're not allowed. Why not? You can. Nobody's done it. That would hurt less. Not allowed. Alright, Seth.
Starting point is 01:06:22 You're not changing the rules. Mook, what did you do? Over or under? You do over. You go over. You'll be fine. We could do changing the rules. Mook, what did you do? Over or under? You do over. You go over. You'll be fine. We could do the whole rest of the episode. I'm going to go under.
Starting point is 01:06:28 Alright, I'm going to go under. Dude, do you honestly? What's the technique for putting your finger in a mouse trap? He's going to Google it. Alright, no. You've got to mouse it, though. You've got to mouse it. You've got to be a mouse about it.
Starting point is 01:06:44 You've got to get mousey. Give us a show, mouse. On the other side, mouse. Come on it, though. You gotta mouse it. You gotta be a mouse about it. You gotta get mousey. Give us a show, mouse. On the other side, mouse. Come on, mousey. Yeah, mousey. Little mouse. What are you doing, mousey? Mouse.
Starting point is 01:06:52 If it goes under your foot, it does not count. What are you doing, little mousey? Give your mousey. Roan, there's gotta be part of you that wants to play with this. He's writhing. I can't. The game says I can't. Yeah, no, he's not allowed to.
Starting point is 01:07:03 He's sick. Mousey. Here, mousey. You're not gonna cry. It doesn't hurt that't. Yeah, no, he's not allowed to. He's sick. Mousy. Here, Mousy. You're not going to cry. It doesn't hurt that bad. It's not going to be as bad as you're saying. It doesn't hurt that bad. Not even close.
Starting point is 01:07:11 Wait, Brandon, remember this. It doesn't hurt that bad. No, it hurts. Remember this. It hurts, but it doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt. Cry more. Not that bad.
Starting point is 01:07:17 Hey, little Mousy. No, you got to Mousy. Mousy. Give us a show, Mousy. What do you mean? Give us a show, Mousy. Oh, no. Will he do it? Will it back. Get it back. Come on. Show, Mousey. Oh, no. Will he do it?
Starting point is 01:07:27 Will he take the cheese? What? Mousey. He probably won't take the cheese. He's not even getting close. He's going back. Take five. You need time out?
Starting point is 01:07:37 You need time out? Take a time out. Take a 20-second time out. Take a 20-second time out. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five what? You can get a six or a 30.
Starting point is 01:07:52 How about if you make a three, you don't do it, but if you miss, you got to do it twice. It's a terrible deal for you. All right, Mousey. Little tiny mouse. Come on, Mouse. He's a smart mouse. Just like that. Just like that.
Starting point is 01:08:07 Just like that from the side. He's a smart mouse. He knows this is bad. Just slap your finger down. Sass, it's going to hurt, but it's not going to hurt as bad as you think. I got you. I got you. Sass, watch yourself.
Starting point is 01:08:21 No, actually, no. You've got to do it yourself. You've got to do it yourself, Sass. Sass, watch yourself on the TV instead of in real life. Maybe it'll be easier. Yeah Okay mouse you're back mouse little mousey's back He's a playful little boy. You scurry over here. Hurry up. I need to say it. Little Mousey's hungry. It's been two days.
Starting point is 01:08:50 Get to drink. I can feel my stomach. My organs are beating through the chairs. No, no, no, no. Little Mousey. I'm so hungry No Come on Mousy
Starting point is 01:09:09 Just do it upside down No Just go like that Little Mousy So hungry Just do it Just do it Just do it
Starting point is 01:09:24 Little Mousy Just do it. Shut the fuck up. Just do it. It's over. Do it. Just do it. Over a second. Do it. You melty. Not that bad. Jesus. That was so awesome. Oh, no. Now it hurts. Shit.
Starting point is 01:09:45 I'm going to watch you try to do that for an hour and a half. Just him going like this. Ask a thousand questions. So it's right there? Then he just kept on turning it upside down. Oh, my God. Oh, it sucks. My other fingers hurt.
Starting point is 01:10:04 Yeah, it hurts where it hurts. Fuck. Should we do it again? It hurts. Double or nothing. Let me see. You might lose that nail, dude. I didn't get it on the nail.
Starting point is 01:10:19 So mean if people ended up with $1,000. Are you shaking? Yeah. He's shaking so bad. I get it. Oh, man. All right, Rowan, you got to do it now just for the love of the game. No, no, no.
Starting point is 01:10:31 I'm allowed. I want it. You'd have to pay $500. That's why I wanted Mousetrap back on so I could do it. Yeah, he wanted that shit. If I do it again, can I get $500? I'll kick you in the teeth. No.
Starting point is 01:10:42 Brandon, you're fucking flush right now. I've been flush. Oh. All right, get money're fucking flush right now. I've been flush. Oh, back then. Give it to Sass. Give it to Sass. No, he had to do the finger thing. That was a lot of fun.
Starting point is 01:10:55 Yeah, that was awesome. Imagine if we hadn't done that. We'd just be sitting here waiting on our blueberry brandy. Oh, you settled? The other option was
Starting point is 01:11:04 like pink grapefruit He kind of fucking Lotted you then I think blueberry would be good We got gifts to do though Yeah Can you do the high noon ad while you're holding a high noon? Yeah
Starting point is 01:11:17 What a toss I mean this was like six feet Are there any cranberry in there? We have a blackberry brandy. Oh, no. How about a grapefruit? Oh, grapefruit sounds amazing. That's actually my favorite.
Starting point is 01:11:32 I love it with everything. Yeah, I do too. And luckily, you can get that in the game day pack, which is back. It includes limited edition fan faves, pear and cranberry, along with black cherry and grapefruit. Made with real vodka, real juice. How many calories? 100.
Starting point is 01:11:48 Hundo. Gluten-free and no added sugar. The High Noon Game Day Pack is a fall exclusive, which means it's here for a good time, but not a long time. Visit highnoonspirits.com before your next tailgate to find a pack near you. I think I'll finish this off. Yeah, mine is so good. I forgot how good the grapefruit was. No!
Starting point is 01:12:09 Brandon. Hey. Would you rather make the final table of the World Series of Poker? Whatever the second thing is. I don't know. Think about talking shit on this. Or make the Super Bowl as a backup? Super Bowl as a backup.
Starting point is 01:12:20 Super Bowl. Super Bowl as a backup. Okay. Making the final table of the World Series of Poker sounds awesome, but the mental stress it's got to put. I feel like the backup of the Super Bowl can kind of enjoy the table. But you're guaranteed to be in the money if you make the final table. Final table is like a milli each.
Starting point is 01:12:38 I think backup quarterback is going to be okay. But you're only making the Super Bowl. You're not guaranteed to win. You're not guaranteed to win the final table. But you're still getting the final Bowl. You're not guaranteed to win. You're not guaranteed to win the final table. But you're still getting the final table. Yeah. As a backup, you don't really get to experience the thing. I don't like cards.
Starting point is 01:12:54 Imagine the shit you talk to Mince. It would just go right over him anyway. Wouldn't matter. None of it ever does. Never. It's true. Nothing ever really matters for Mince. It's the beauty of ever does. Never fucking matters. It's true. Nothing ever really matters for me.
Starting point is 01:13:07 It's the beauty of it. No, nothing matters, period. When we were flying here. You need the Zoloft back. Let's talk. You just got 500 bucks. Brandon, you need some Zoloft? Huh?
Starting point is 01:13:17 You need some Zoloft? No, I was on it for a while. Sass doesn't go home without it. Did you stop cold turkey? Yeah, I had to trade it for my dick. Did you get brain zaps? No, I was fine. It's dangerous to cut it off cold. You have been acting really fucking weird lately. No, I had to trade it for my dick. Did you get brain zaps? No, I was fine. It's dangerous to cut it off cold turkey.
Starting point is 01:13:26 You have been acting really fucking weird lately. No, I haven't. I've been good. You know what? That's probably why your golf game is all off. You beat me once. Because your brain chemistry is off. You beat me once.
Starting point is 01:13:36 I beat you the first time. The chemical imbalance in your brain right now is fucking insane. But I'm fucking. Hard. Occasionally. I got a package from your mom today. Hard. Occasionally. Yeah. I got a package from your mom today.
Starting point is 01:13:47 God damn it Nick. It's up. It's up in the studio. Love it. What is it? Haven't opened it yet. Alright. It's true.
Starting point is 01:13:54 He's not lying either. I believed him previously. Did you? Yeah. What'd you get Seth? Probably just a Christmas gift. What's that noise?
Starting point is 01:14:04 The package in R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet is AIDS when people get the package. Did my mother give you AIDS? I don't know. I haven't opened the package. Closet. You wouldn't be the first. What? No.
Starting point is 01:14:15 Huh? Wait, I can't say that. Wait, what the fuck? Taking AIDS from your mom? My mom was Ginny from Forrest Gump. Oh, my God. I can see that. Damn, what arest Gump. Oh, my God. I could see that, honestly. Damn, what a burn on me.
Starting point is 01:14:27 She's from Alabama. If I hypothetically fucked your mom, I wouldn't be the first to get AIDS. Yeah. Damn, you... Gotcha. Oh, you got me, man. I got the AIDS.
Starting point is 01:14:40 That apartment in Dallas, which they call it AID. Wow. Or the house in Virginia The HIV That's a bar That's a house I'm a real estate mogul The Monopoly board
Starting point is 01:14:57 You got properties on both Is that why it's called Dallas Buyers Club? He was just getting a bunch of Maybe I saw some movie about There was just getting a bunch of... Maybe. Yeah. I saw some movie about there was just like a flight attendant who was giving it out. That's how it spread so fast. Giving out AIDS?
Starting point is 01:15:14 Yeah, he just couldn't stop fucking. He was so pretty in the face. That or a Stroopwafel. Stroopwafel? Yeah, man. I'm taking the AIDS. What is it? Biscoff. Oh, they're good.
Starting point is 01:15:22 They're the best. I feel like they don't have them as much anymore. We couldn't know. They don't. Oh, they're good. They're the best. I feel like they don't have them as much anymore. We wouldn't know. They don't. Those are Greyhounds. That's just. You can get AIDS on a Greyhound for sure. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:33 Yeah. Do you all have a gift strategy? Yeah. You have your first round pick? I'm going to go ahead and say. What a gigantic one. Avoid mine at all costs. I think we were.
Starting point is 01:15:42 It's really upsetting. Well, you get to keep the jacket. No, you do not. Oh, you definitely do. I just bought that jacket. I want that jacket. You should have just bought it. Who takes the wrapping paper back after you give a gift? That's fucked.
Starting point is 01:15:56 You can't do that. No, man. Sorry. Sass, you can't, dude. Can we close the windows, TJ, again? I think Jerry's going to start his show. Sass is wrapped like a homeless guy wraps his heroin on the street. I got you a present, but I need the wrapping paper back. That's a good-ass gift, Sass. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:16:12 You're not getting the L.L. Bean. One-year warranty. Then you could get another one. You got the warranty on the Bean? Of course. Somebody took it and wore it over. I actually think that L.L. Bean used to have a lifetime warranty for all of their products but they just changed it
Starting point is 01:16:27 to one year. The duck boots too. The duck boots, yeah. They just changed it? Yeah. I want to say Patagonia has similar... Cool.
Starting point is 01:16:38 Just shows how much faith they have in their product. Can you guys remind me of how the... Duxbury's showing right now? We don't know, Sass. We don't know. I mean, Ron. So we don't know how we... Duxbury's showing right now? We don't know, Sass. We don't know. I mean, run.
Starting point is 01:16:46 So we don't know how we're going to pick, who picks what first? Yeah, we got to figure that out. The wheel always does it, right? I'll take another mousetrap for first pick. We wheel for gifts. We wheel for swaps. I'll take two mousetraps for first pick. I'll take three.
Starting point is 01:17:01 Six mousetraps for first pick. Just all fingers at once. Every finger. I'll do one. Six mouse traps for first pick. Just all fingers at once. Every finger. I'll do one on each finger. You think if you did all ten fingers at once, you'd go into, like, shock? No. No. You didn't do it.
Starting point is 01:17:17 I did it last time I was in town. No. Not with these mouse traps. You know what you guys need to get? When we had the mouse problem and it was me, Owen, and Dukes, we got the wooden rat traps. Oh, those will break your finger. And they're like this. They're like the exact same thing as a
Starting point is 01:17:32 mousetrap, but they're like this big. That would take your finger right off. 100%. It's like a medieval torture device. Yeah. Yeah, we were watching videos of a guy who made like human-sized mouth traps. It was fucking gnarly. It was like snapping a watermelon. Imagine getting caught in one of those.
Starting point is 01:17:48 Stepping into a bear trap. What the fuck? Today sucks. That guy's a sick fuck for even thinking about that. Planting that. Yeah, just planting that in the middle of the woods somewhere. What the fuck? Free cheese.
Starting point is 01:18:00 Holy shit. Ground cheese. Is that a baby bell? Charcuterie. Oh! Holy shit Ground cheese Is that a baby bell? Charcuterie What the fuck It's a big fucking mouse Trying to like bench press off of it What the fuck is going on Who put this Smith machine?
Starting point is 01:18:29 Imagine getting glue trapped. That might be funnier. Stop with glue. Stuck for 127 hours. Chisel off your... Oh. Oh. That's not real.
Starting point is 01:18:41 That's not real. Yeah, it is. Those are like the mice in my apartment. These things are fucking demons. Yeah, they're zombies. They're so big. They're dead and still running around. And they like to die in my fucking refrigerator.
Starting point is 01:18:56 My mini fridge. Oh, in your fridge? What the fuck? He said he was trying to unscrew the back of his refrigerator with a fork. They're somewhere in the booth. How are you not dead? Zah screamed laughing at you from back there. You got mice in your fridge? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:13 You want to elaborate? They're in the back of the fridge. I can't get them. Oh, like in the wires? In the fridge? No, they're in the actual fridge. My arms are too... I can't reach them, though.
Starting point is 01:19:23 Wait, what? Where your produce is? Yeah, in the back of the fridge. Like, in, like, the... In the wires. The coils. Yeah. But, like, they're dead back there?
Starting point is 01:19:31 Yes. Very. And I would imagine it's anywhere from 5 to 25. Oh, Jesus. Because the smell is getting worse. I was going to say, what's the odor like? Dude, every time I open the refrigerator, the whole apartment reeks of death. But his front windows are also sealed shut. Yeah. Like, he can't open the windows, the whole apartment reeks of death. But his front windows are also sealed shut.
Starting point is 01:19:47 Yeah. Like he can't open the windows. To stop the mice from getting in. Thank God your apartment's only $3,600. You're paid for a penthouse in Kansas City. I hope one of these gifts are a new fridge, dude. That'd be great. A new apartment.
Starting point is 01:20:03 I'd settle for just a cooler at this point. Just a Yeti cooler. Honestly, there could be Yeti coolers in here. Yeah, you might be in luck on that one. How are we power ranking the gifts as they lay? Tall boy. Tall boy and then fat boy, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:18 I don't know. I'm actually going with that one all the way on the top right here. That's medium-sized one. Oh, you like that box. We need a child's view of presents. Just look for the biggest one. I mean, it's 70 tall. I saw someone bring that in, and I think Spider brought it in.
Starting point is 01:20:33 He was not struggling to carry it at all. Really? I like the gold bow. I like gold bow. I think that's the winner. I want one of the Hanukkah ones. Yeah, I'm going to take a Jewish one. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:43 And what were the breakdowns of the cash? Minimum was free. Yeah. Free was Sass. Homemade was KB. I have another gift. I had 150. I'm 250.
Starting point is 01:20:59 I had 350. So how do we want to do this? I ended up spending 400 with tax. Kyle, what was yours? How much did you spend? Knock up on me. Oh, yours. You were homemade.
Starting point is 01:21:06 All right. Homemade. I spent nothing. We wheel until all the gifts are given out, and then we figure out what we're going to do. We wheel for order, and then we start picking. Yeah. Reverse. So it's not like you wheel and then pick and then wheel and then pick.
Starting point is 01:21:20 Yeah. Well, you don't want to wheel pick, wheel pick? I think you should wheel, get the whole order laid out, and then you should- Get the draft, the first round of the draft. And then you should start doing chairs. Nick, if I see a fucking JBL speaker in here, I need another. I was listening to it today. Yeah, you got it in mono.
Starting point is 01:21:33 Yeah. The right and the left. I was listening to Somewhere in My Memory. I just don't believe you. I was listening to Somewhere in My Memory by Four Year Strong. That thing is fucking in the Hudson, right? I promise you. I'll send you a picture tonight.
Starting point is 01:21:43 I'll send you a picture of it tonight. That thing is in the bottom of the Hudson. I love that fucking thing. Dude, it was $400. $500, brother. It was free for me. Yeah. And I use it every day when I'm cleaning,
Starting point is 01:21:55 when I'm Swiffering. What, do you put it on the lowest volume? Yeah. That thing is bepping boobs. I would love to see her work. I got a noise complaint for just the sound that it makes when you turn it on. When you turn it on. Keep it down.
Starting point is 01:22:13 It's got to be so – that thing is so big. All right, let's do something. Let's do it. Let's do it. So let's start spinning the wheel, and the first person that it lands on gets the last pick. Why? And then they're eliminated.
Starting point is 01:22:28 You want to build the draft from the back front? Let's do that. Yeah, why not? Sure. What is another option? I don't know. First person lands on his first? That's basic.
Starting point is 01:22:37 First person that lands on it gets middle pick. I'm going to be honest, guys. I'm going to be a real dick if I don't like this. Yes, yes. I'm going to pout, dude. Yeah. I already have one of these. Yeah, let's do honest reactions.
Starting point is 01:22:49 No sugar, no bean. Like, oh, thank you. Just like, oh, that's fine. Or like, I didn't want that. I'm okay with this. I'll donate it to a firehouse. What the fuck is this? That dip.
Starting point is 01:22:58 You guys ever actually do that as kids? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I was an ass kid. Probably when I was like really young, though. I think I was. I think I cried on Christmas when I was really young like get a big sixth grade yeah yeah and I was like no yeah that's the story that's a Christmas story I know I wanted I got a rubber band gun instead. And I cried.
Starting point is 01:23:34 One year I wanted a mongoose bike and my mom got me a chair. I was so pissed off. One year my grandma got me a Wizards of Waverly Place plastic like, plastic magic wand, and it would make sound effects. And it was Selena Gomez's voice. And it would be like, abracadabra, make that zit disappear. And I was the laughingstock of the family. Everyone was howling laughing, and I was bawling my eyes out. I have an aunt that's got me a Life is Good t-shirt for the past 25 years of my life.
Starting point is 01:24:06 Yeah. Those are coming back around, though. Yeah, they're kind of fresh. It's ironic if you wear it. Fuck you. Life's okay. Yeah, you need Life's Okay shirts. Life is just okay.
Starting point is 01:24:17 You guys should make that. Life's okay. New anus merch. We've done a Life is Good shirt before. Really? Yeah. Unfortunately. All right, let's spin it for the last pick
Starting point is 01:24:25 Last pick What were we doing last? Last pick Last pick This is for whoever gets Sass's stupid thing That's about it Alright Fair
Starting point is 01:24:39 Oh there's steals Yeah And the steals is two people get paired up and they have to switch Yes And that happens six times That happens after the picks What about There's steals. Yeah. And the steals is two people get paired up and they have to switch. Yes. And that happens six times. That happens after the picks. What about everybody gets a nope, I do. So let's say I'm the first pick and I take that and I'm like, I want that.
Starting point is 01:24:56 And Kyle can go, nope, I do. Oh, you get one? But then that's. No, there should be a different wheel where we have only one. Nope, I do. Everybody gets one? Yeah. No the nope-I-do. Everybody gets one. Everybody gets one? No, no, no.
Starting point is 01:25:09 What's the wheel for? Can you stack the I-dos or no? If you say nope-I-do and then I say nope-I-do. You get it and I lose mine. I love nope-I-do. That's risky as fuck. Wait, so does it have to be in order? I'm hammered.
Starting point is 01:25:27 Nope, I do is crazy. Do I do after they're unwrapped or before? No, we should give out ten envelopes, and three of them should have nope, I do. Yeah, I like that. Four of them should have loaded mousetraps in them. So people don't know if you get a nope, I do. Yeah, I love that. I love that.
Starting point is 01:25:46 So it's a mystery who has them. So it's a mystery who has the nope-I-do. Yeah. So now we need 10 envelopes? No, we don't need 10 envelopes. We can use a wheel. We can just have mousetrap or nope-I-do. But we don't want everyone to know.
Starting point is 01:25:55 I like that, too. I like that. Yeah. So if I'm just like, nope-I-do, then they spin the wheel. And if it lands on mousetrap, you still get it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 01:26:04 So everybody gets one? i just like the idea that you don't know if people have a nope i wait so you wait so you say nope i do wait what do you what's your idea i'm saying that you don't know who has a nope i there should be three secrets no there are envelopes right out right out there yeah let's okay yeah let's just make it yeah and everybody will grab their envelope and be just like nope and then you hand it to kyle but some people don't have nope-bye-dos. Some people have mousetrap. But so you're saying you can play a no-bye-do?
Starting point is 01:26:29 No. Guys, I don't know why you keep coming up. Yeah, I know. There's no-bye-do. Come on, come on. I'm getting my brain in this. No no-bye-dos. No, I think there should be four people with no-bye-dos.
Starting point is 01:26:42 Of course. And then when they say they're no-bye-do, it's a wheel. Or you turn in your envelope. No more mouse traps. It's a wheel of mouse traps or steel. No-bye-do. Yeah, yeah. So either sticks or mouse traps.
Starting point is 01:26:56 Perfect. So you don't have to play your no-bye-do. You don't have to play your no-bye-do. You're throwing a challenge flag. No, you don't. No, you don't. You do. You do. You do, Nick?'t. No, you don't. You do. You do.
Starting point is 01:27:06 You do, Nick? All right, yeah, you do. You do. You do. If you don't play your nope-i-do, it's mousetrap. If you're drunk, shut the fuck up. No chance Sass went and got the envelopes, right? Yeah, we all did.
Starting point is 01:27:18 Sass might have went to the airport. No, Che is. Che's getting the envelopes, and he's about to make four nope-i-dos. And then pass them out And if you play your no pie do Or maybe one of the no pie do Is no mousetrap Or all of them are
Starting point is 01:27:32 Potential no One of them is Big Cat gives you $500 I like that Another $500 Brandon did you just tell me To be quiet if I'm drunk What's our most successful episode
Starting point is 01:27:43 Piece of shit You said You said Stop coming to me. Fuck you. Get his ass, Nick. You're counting money? I'm going to nope I do your ass. I know you are.
Starting point is 01:27:59 You fucked my AIDS-ridden mom. God damn it, dude. At what point is enough enough? I love that you're doing this and it's bodying me. Keep that up. I think at this point you like my mom more than I do. I talk to her more. Yeah, well, bitch got AIDS.
Starting point is 01:28:19 That's pretty good. It's hard to beat. Can't come back to that. Nope, I do. I feel like... Oh, shit. Zing. Shit. Nope, I do the AIDS.
Starting point is 01:28:34 Oh, my God. That was magic. But if you use your nope, I do, and it lands on mousetrap, you don't get a nope, I do anymore. No, that's it. But everybody has one you have to use. So if you use the nope, I do, and it lands on mousetrap, then it's just mousetrap and order is restored for your turn.
Starting point is 01:28:51 Yes. Fair. And you can nope, I do after it's unwrapped. So I have the 10th pick. Let's keep on spinning for the order. Sure. For the 9th pick. And we still don't know about nope, I do's.
Starting point is 01:29:03 Yeah, we don't know nope-i-doos. Maybe there's none. I love how this became a thing. Well, your drunk brain is on fire right now. Just throwing out half ideas, and then we have to discern. What about nopes? Hey, what about if we just, it's not steals. Why are we doing a wheel at all?
Starting point is 01:29:19 It's the exact same thing as a steal. This spin is for the first pick, and then the second... Wait, so do you have the nope-i-doos? Then the next spin is for the next to last. So we don't have envelopes, but I got the paper and I can fold up. So write four nope-i-doos.
Starting point is 01:29:38 Four nope-i-doos. And then just four regular nopes. I'm just going to write nothing on it so it kind of looks like it, but it is not. Okay. Yeah. Like the word nothing. No, just write.
Starting point is 01:29:49 Write nothing. Write nope. What the fuck is happening? Why don't we just do the wheel for the fucking present? Oh, no. Nick is right. The nope-i-dos. Brandon, you need to drink something.
Starting point is 01:29:59 Brandon, are you confused? It's pretty straightforward. How do you understand nope-i-dos? Pretty straightforward, Brandon. You're being really ordinary. It's hard to understand. Brandon, you're acting fucking crazy. Where's your Zoloft?
Starting point is 01:30:14 Straight in for my dick. If you get too close to this, you're going to get a red dot on your forehead. No-bye-do. No-bye-do. Okay, spin for ninth ninth or is this for first this is for first pick this is for first now yeah we're gonna go back and forth yeah yeah i want i want i want the first you can use nope i do's on pick order yeah you can yeah kb's right. You actually can. You actually can, yeah. KB's right. All right, so don't do the, okay, yeah, before the pick.
Starting point is 01:30:51 Uh-huh. Before the pick is even taken, you can say nope, I do. Oh, no, if it lands on Kyle for first, I can be like, nope, I do. All right, so we need the nope, I do's now. We need it fast, man. Give us the nope, I do's. But the thing about nope, I do's is that even if you don't have one, you can still use one. He's right. No, but then that comes with that automatic mousetrap if you use it.
Starting point is 01:31:09 I don't need to get drunk. So how does the mousetrapping work? Do you have to, which way do you put your finger in? You've already done it, dude. Dude, these DCs are doing something to me. Oh, fuck. He's throwing off the DC. So does that mean that the...
Starting point is 01:31:26 Well, I can't nope-eye-do the 10th pick, but that's fine. Yeah, that's the... All the nope-eye-dos would be gone by the 10th pick, right? No, in the original nope-eye-do... You can't nope-eye-do your own pick. Yes, I am. How would you do that? Uh-huh.
Starting point is 01:31:43 No, I'm talking about the pick selection yeah just now yeah first person can never nope i do well yeah anyway it landed on me so i couldn't nope i you're right yeah no nope i do ninth yeah yeah yeah tenth okay that wouldn't really make sense 11 11 11 you're gonna want to save your nope i do is for one three and six yeah those are the key yeah but if you if you if you nope i do the first pick someone else could nope i do what you pick right no yeah brandon's having a dangerous yeah you can right nick nick you're the you're the uh scholar on nobody's yes if you get the first pick and i have a nope i do and i say nope i do i want the first pick and then i pick something and brandon has a
Starting point is 01:32:22 nope i do he can nope i do my pick but what you guys haven't so this happened this happened in 08 in salt lake no it was in st clairs ohio you can stack nope i do's how do you end up with more than one well no if i i can nope i do and then let's say i get your I get your gift big cat can nope I do me and get the gift that was rare. It's like the one-point safety. Yeah Okay, we're gonna need those fat so we can start this traditional gift People gonna be so pissed. Oh, yeah So what happens if so we're all getting a no-buy deal?
Starting point is 01:33:09 Oh, Jesus Christ. No. Four of us. Four are no-buy deals. I don't understand. What about the people that don't get a no-buy deal? And you just have to play the game. No, but you don't have to.
Starting point is 01:33:18 Here's how it works. Who's I? Listen to me. I'm going to say everything, and tell me if I'm wrong at any point. We're going to wheel. We wheeled for the 11th pick. Now we're me if I'm wrong at any point. We're going to wheel. We wheeled for the 11th pick. Now we're going to wheel for the first pick. Then we're going to wheel for the 10th pick.
Starting point is 01:33:29 Then we're going to wheel for the second pick. We're going to get the entire order. Stephen Che is passing out four nope I do's. You have to play it if you have it. You can play it on a draft pick or a gift where someone picks a gift and then you say, nope, I do. I want that pick. When you play your nope I do, we spin the wheel,
Starting point is 01:33:47 and you might have to put your finger in a mousetrap, but your nope, I do stands. And when everything is said and done, there are six more spins, which will make three pairs of people who have to switch presents. But are you going to know you have the nope, I do? Yes. No. Yes, you do.
Starting point is 01:34:04 You do know. So why is he folding the sheets? Because not everybody has it. yes no yes you do you do know you have to know how to play it so why is he folding the sheets because not everybody has it you don't know until you play it
Starting point is 01:34:10 everybody doesn't Brandon this is the most vanilla straightforward thing we but how do you know you look at it but you keep it a secret
Starting point is 01:34:16 from everybody else yes he fucking gets it why don't you get it no I thought like if I wanted Kyle's gift I could give him the paper and he opens it
Starting point is 01:34:22 and he's like he either has to give it to me or I have to mousetrap. No. But yes. Yeah, let's do it that way. Yeah, we all, we don't know if, we don't know what's written on our paper. Yeah, but you turn it in.
Starting point is 01:34:36 We do know. We play the Nope I Do, not knowing if we actually have the power to do that. It's more powerful if you don't know who has the nope I do's until they play it. Me too. Like an immunity idol. Don't you think you'd feel more powerful playing it if you knew you had it? If you don't get a nope I do. You know you have it. Other people don't know about it.
Starting point is 01:34:55 Because you open your paper. Jay, what the fuck is taking place? This is a nope I do. What the fuck are you doing? The show's never going to end. How many lines are the character for nope? If you don't get a no-buy, dude. We're stuck in a loop that we'd never get out of.
Starting point is 01:35:15 It's like we ordered a thousand no-buy dudes. It was 11. We've been doing this for 20 minutes. Yeah. If you don't get a no-buy, dude, you have to mousetrap. No. No. Only if you go to use it.
Starting point is 01:35:25 You have to use it if you have it, and if you have it, we spin. Oh! Got him. Yep, you're allowed. Yeah. And if you spin and you get mousetrapped, you can still use your no-buy deal, but you also have to do the mousetrap. I love you guys.
Starting point is 01:35:37 This is so fucking stupid. Do not share with other people what you have unless you want to. Just a simple three words from Nick just to rail this show for a half hour. What about no pie news? Yeah, wait, are we forgetting about it? We should put a disclaimer in the show. It's like, if you want to skip ahead for the next 20 minutes,
Starting point is 01:35:56 now's the time. 20 minutes? Wait, why'd Brandon look? No, we're looking. You're looking. Look at what you got so you know if you play. That was a test. I don't know what I have.
Starting point is 01:36:05 Neither do I. It's neither of the things. I agree. If you don't have a nope-I-do, then you don't have a nope-I-do. It's neither of the things that were suggested. If it doesn't say nope-I-do, then you don't have a nope-I-do. Shay's got to read it. It doesn't make sense.
Starting point is 01:36:19 I'm looking at that. I have to check with Shay. You cannot imagine. You cannot imagine what he wrote on it. I have the same thing. I got to check with Shay. If it doesn't say nope-I-do. I need to know because. You cannot imagine what he wrote on it. I have the same thing. I got to check with Shay. If he doesn't say nope, I do. I need to know because we can redo it.
Starting point is 01:36:28 Don't do it. No, no, no, no. We don't have the time for Shay to redo this. Shay, what could you have possibly done? Listen. They either say nope, I do or nope. All right. Why would you do that?
Starting point is 01:36:37 He said that because he thought people could see through the paper. No one could see through the paper. He said he was going to write nothing. Okay. All right. I was going to write the word nothing. But you didn't. All right.
Starting point is 01:36:49 Let's get back to that. You guys said write nope. Let's go back to the wheel. I know who has the nope I do's now. Before we spin this wheel, let's take a quick break for Factor. Ladies and gentlemen, this bustling holiday season, you might be looking for nutritious flavorful meals to fuel you on jam-packed days factor america's number one ready to eat meal
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Starting point is 01:38:47 Yak50, yak50, yak50, yak50, yak50. Now, back to the show. Okay, we're back. This is for the first pick. Everyone has a nope I do or a nothing or a nope. Yeah, I know who has. Yeah. We should redo it.
Starting point is 01:39:03 Jay, start writing new ones. Mook has one. Everybody throw yours in the middle. Jay, start writing new ones. Mook has one. Everybody throw yours in the middle. Jay, start rewriting. Mook has the most obvious. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Jay, start rewriting and don't use nope. Yeah, we got to do it again.
Starting point is 01:39:15 Yeah, this sucks. You wrote nope. I don't think we should be able to look. All right, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to look. Yeah, wait. We shouldn't be able to look. Yeah, I like that.
Starting point is 01:39:26 Why are you yelling at me? And then if you throw a false flag, you take a mousetrap. I don't do anything. It ruins a nope I do when everyone knows. And I just, I had one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew who it was. I knew it was you.
Starting point is 01:39:37 Hey, hey, I didn't have one. Because those of us. You didn't have one? I didn't have one. Wait, you just had a nope? Yep. I just had a nope. And I had a nope.
Starting point is 01:39:44 You had one, Sam? I just had one. Oh, you just had a nope? Yep. I just had a nope. And I had a nope. You had one, Seth? Of course I do. You're allowed to do that. Nope, I do. Pass it over. Fuck. People watching this have to be infuriated. Oh, I love it.
Starting point is 01:40:03 You can play along at home. Tighter. Good. Wait, why are we redoing it? Because everyone knew what we had. Don't. Because Che's writing down like. Don't look.
Starting point is 01:40:14 Don't look, right? Che's writing down like, no. But you said don't. It's so easy. Look, don't. Okay, okay, okay, okay. What was that? That was weird. What do you just do he made a noise game read it behind you and like grazed the back of your chair? Okay
Starting point is 01:40:34 Good as What? What's so funny? He's laughing at Titus, man. Oh, fuck. Yeah, yeah. Someone kept their note by do. Can we spin for a nope-I-do steal? This is going to be like a gate. It's going to be like the nope-I-do gate. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:41:19 When the show fucking derailed. All right. So we're back on track. Everyone knows what they have. They've not shown what they have. Let's spin for the first pick. No buy-dos are officially in play. Mine says no, I don't really.
Starting point is 01:41:34 I think I have a question about mine too. Mine says yes, you are. Mine says yes, you are gay. Okay, here we go. For the first pick. This is a big pick. This is for everything. Uh-oh.
Starting point is 01:41:54 Can you use it on yourself? If somebody were to use their note by do on me, if I had one, I could use my note by do back. So you have one. So confused. Or I might be bluffing. All right, no one's using it. Why would no one use it?
Starting point is 01:42:10 I don't think anyone knows if they have it or not. Who's it all for? I don't know. You better know if you have it. But there's no reason. This is like a bad time to play your Nope I Do. Yeah, why would you play your Nope I Do now? Because there's so much.
Starting point is 01:42:23 Also, when he picks the gift, you can just do it. Are you stupid? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know what'd be going on. Pretty obvious when to use the nope I do.
Starting point is 01:42:31 Obviously, I'm worried that this is not right now. I got to go check and see if this brandy's here. Nope. All right.
Starting point is 01:42:41 So you got first picnic. I do. All right. So now spin for 10th pick. Is someone keeping track? Let's have Nick keep track. Chase keeping track.
Starting point is 01:42:52 Okay. All right. Mook. 10. We did warn people that we were just bringing presents and we had no plans. So if you're a Yak listener, this is vintage Yak. Where we will spend forever trying to figure out how to do a simple gift swap. We've done this before.
Starting point is 01:43:08 Yeah, but we have to make it more confusing by the bylaws of the show. We've actually done it like five or six times now. By year 10, you'll get the 12-hour stream. It'll be just us arguing nobody. It might be this one. Okay. What could this be? It could be anything. It could this be? It could be anything.
Starting point is 01:43:27 It could even be a boat. This could be the most powerful fucking weapon you have in your arsenal. Right next to the iPhone. This right here. All right. This could be any gift in the fucking world. Who was that? Did we just spin?
Starting point is 01:43:46 Luke was 10th And we're not doing second Now we're going second Second pick I'm about to get second pick too Titus Let's go That's the best pick to have
Starting point is 01:43:59 Well Anybody? Fuck Please don't It's a nice second pick you have there Anybody? Please don't. It's a nice second pick you have there. It'd be a real shame if I... No one is going to end up using the nope I do.
Starting point is 01:44:16 You have to. You have to? Yes. If you have it, you have to. Brandon, why are you pissed? Because he probably has a nope I do. I'm not pissed at all. I'm just worried about the mousetrap. There's probably like 10 great gifts here.
Starting point is 01:44:30 No, there's probably like one great gift, and everything else sucks. Like, that big thing sucks. That other big thing sucks. Yeah, all the 90% of the gifts here were found at like a Walgreens. I can't think of either of those. I just clicked a bunch of buttons on Amazon alright that's promising no they're worth
Starting point is 01:44:50 they were worth money but they're worth nothing well wait until you see my gift truly worth nothing next one what is this the ninth pick? yeah now what?
Starting point is 01:45:04 it's uh ninth this is nine yeah Ninth pick? Yeah. Okay. Now, what? It's ninth. This is nine, yeah. Nine. Nine. All right. Ninth pick to Brandon. Now for third pick. I think it's going to be TJ.
Starting point is 01:45:25 How do you feel about nine, Brandon? It could be hours before we get there, so we'll see. This is the third pick? Yeah. Yeah, no, the ninth pick is going to be at least two hours away. Jesus. So I'm three? So much is going to change between now and then.
Starting point is 01:45:41 Yeah, you're three. This is for what? Eight? Eight. This is in addition to the – We're going to change between the three. Yeah, you're three. This is for what? Eight? Eight. This is in addition to the – we're going to do a – we're doing three swap wheels. The swaps are very straightforward. It's not game over. Unless someone nope-I-do's the swap.
Starting point is 01:45:57 I think the swap should happen after we open it too. Yes. Because then you get to see what – But you could also nope-I-do. Won't all the nope-I-dos be played by then? Won't all the nope-i-dos be played by then? Won't all the nope-i-dos be played by then? Yeah, you could play the nope-i-do at any time. Sounded just like me.
Starting point is 01:46:13 I know. You could wait days. I think I might have just shit my pants. What? KB? What's he doing? What's he doing? KB just might leave.
Starting point is 01:46:24 Yeah, he's walking around. I think it's just, no, I think he's got the pressure of having a nope I do. He's trying to think about what to do with it. He's also five for five on just leaving on episodes
Starting point is 01:46:31 where we drink. Yeah. There's Google and strategy. What do you do when you have a nope I do? Didn't he leave a case race with like two hours left? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:46:38 He just left. Well, that was the one he ate mushrooms. He genuinely thought it was over. He ate mushrooms. He genuinely thought it ended. Yeah. He ate mushrooms on his birthday and then we had had a case race, and then he left.
Starting point is 01:46:49 Yeah. All right. Who's next? This is for eighth pick. Eighth pick. So it's me, Titus, Sass. Oh, fourth. Fourth pick.
Starting point is 01:47:00 Fourth pick. Kyle Bauer. Okay, Kyle's got the fourth pick. And I'm dreaming of a white seven. This is for what pick? Seven Seven I'm seven Oh that's a great pick Seven's a great pick
Starting point is 01:47:36 Whoever lands on gets fifth Okay whoever lands on gets fifth And the person is sixth be merry and bright and may all your Christmases be white be white Sass, you celebrate Christmas?
Starting point is 01:47:59 Morse I thought you were Jewish It's all a lie. I'm Jewish. It's all an illusion. Just like the ones I used to know. And I'm dreaming. All right, do we have it, TJ? We have the full order?
Starting point is 01:48:22 Something wrong? All right. Shocking. Shall we go? Shall we start? So we're picking now. So when are we opening gifts? Wait, we decide that.
Starting point is 01:48:35 I think you open it as soon as you get it. Or at the end? We wait until everything is drafted? Do we do it before the steals? I think, okay, I got an idea. We all pick our gifts when it's all settled, then we spin the wheel to see the order of who opens. Or you pick your gift, we spin open or keep closed.
Starting point is 01:48:55 Yes! Oh, God fucking damn it. We keep closed. Yes. I didn't, that was a jest. It's on keep closed. We have to destroy it. All right.
Starting point is 01:49:07 So everyone picks their gifts. Then everyone opens their gifts. Nope, I do's in play all throughout. Of course. Then we do the three steals. Nope, I do's still in play. Right? Always.
Starting point is 01:49:22 Always. And then we're done. Right. Well, it swaps. Yeah, no, I said the three steals. Okay, And then we're done. Right. One of the swaps. Yeah, no, I said the three. Okay, yeah, sorry, sorry. Clearly you haven't. So no-bye-dos are in play at all times from start to finish.
Starting point is 01:49:33 So you could, if you have a no-bye-do, you could play it literally at the very end. But you'd have to then spin to see if you got a mousetrap. All right. So you're up. I'm up. Nick. First pick. Okay. No. No.
Starting point is 01:49:57 Oh, he's going straight for... That's usually the best one. Not that one. What? I said nope, not that one. Really? No, he faked you with. What? I said nope, not that one. No, he faked you with the nope. I said nope, not that one. He's decoying. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:50:11 He's not actually playing the nope. He's just playing you. He didn't say nope, I do. He said nope, that's fine. That's just conversation. Oh, that's just my buddy chatting with me. I always say the word dope. I'll take Brandon's for him.
Starting point is 01:50:27 I got it. Say what? Smells nice. My turn? Yeah, should we cheers? Thank you, Ron. Yeah, cheers. Cheers to ourselves.
Starting point is 01:50:39 Wait, does everyone in the booth have them? Yes. Okay. Do a cheers for us, Roan. Pause, but may your life be like Italian bread, long and full of dough. Shit. May your only ups and downs be between the sheets, and may you steer clear of the skeezers, dick teasers, and weirdos.
Starting point is 01:50:58 Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Yeah. I can get down with this. It's nice, right? Oh, that's good. I don't know if nice is hard. It's tasty. It doesn't look like nicotine. It's nice, right? Oh, that's good. I don't know if nice is good. It's taste.
Starting point is 01:51:07 It doesn't look like nickel. It's not that bad. Not that bad. Oh, it's beautiful. And it's smooth. This is giving me an idea. Who's up? I'm up.
Starting point is 01:51:18 Number two. Let's go, Titus. Oh. Well, that fell off the other one. Yeah. I've seen so many cast races. Oh. It fell off the other one. Yeah. I've seen so many cast races.
Starting point is 01:51:29 That wasn't on that one. Gold bow was this. But it fell to that one. He wore the gold bow. Before I play anything, what is the weight? What's the mass? We should be able to feel.
Starting point is 01:51:45 What part of your body did you engage right there? Glutes. Oh, okay. Kyle. So heavy. Glutes. That looks like something for a cat. Could be a microwave.
Starting point is 01:51:57 Is that the first thing you think of for a cat, you sociopath? Hold on. Yeah, you're right. It could be something like a microwave. It's a cat-sized microwave. Wait, am I up? Yeah. No, I'm up.
Starting point is 01:52:10 I'm a pick three. All right, you're up. Nope. Oh, yeah. Nope, nope, nope. Sass, don't. Don't do it. I've seen Sass get too drunk on so many case races.
Starting point is 01:52:21 And I've seen him wake up with the most anxiety ever. And I'm just like, I want that. Zess, if you want your jacket, you should take your jacket. Because you ain't getting it back. I got the 11th pick, buddy, and I promise you, I'm taking your jacket
Starting point is 01:52:33 and I'm keeping it. It's a brand new L.L. Bean. There's also the two gigantic ones. I got it. Take tall boy. I hope one's a giant mousetrap No one's going for the big boys Wait till I get there
Starting point is 01:52:50 Oh Oh Oh Interesting Hanukkah wrapping My 1-1 is still out there Ooh Yeah
Starting point is 01:53:01 Mine too Have you tipped off what your 1-1 is Or have you been playing it close to the I've been playing-1 is, or have you been playing it close to it? I've been playing it close to the best. I've been playing it close to the jacket. Oh. You'd look good in that. Dude, if you—
Starting point is 01:53:15 No one knows what I want. Oh, he's going for big boy. He's going for the big boy. And the rule is, like, whatever you win, you can destroy. Yes. Yes. The only thing is you can't sell it. That's the only rule is you can't sell whatever you get.
Starting point is 01:53:26 I cannot conceive that height. What could that be? I think it's a rug. I think it's a rolled up rug. That would be heavy, wouldn't it? It could be a light rug. Like a pole vault? It could be golf clubs.
Starting point is 01:53:37 It could be a pole vault. It could be a pole vault. Who's up? Who's up? No, I'm going this. KB's up. I'm going wide big. Wide big. Going choked. I'm not I'm going this. KB's up. I'm going wide big. Wide big.
Starting point is 01:53:46 Going choked. I'm not going to move it. KB took the phone. Okay. Also, wide big is gone. Okay. Take the bow off so we know it's yours. Absolutely.
Starting point is 01:53:54 Yeah, hold that bow. Like Daisy Duke. Yeah. All right, who's up next? Wait, where's my brother? TJ. TJ. Here comes TJ. TJ. Here comes TJ. Slim boy.
Starting point is 01:54:08 Looking good. No. That's two gifts. Is that two? You gotta put that one down. No, I think it's the same gift. No, it's not. It's wrapped in the same paper.
Starting point is 01:54:24 A lot of them are. Wait, but that means we have too many gifts. No, it's not. It's wrapped in the same paper. A lot of them are. Wait, but that means we have too many gifts. No, it's not. I was on a different. Yeah, that was laying by itself all the time. You still want that, TJ? Christmas. All right, then put it down.
Starting point is 01:54:34 Oh, because you felt the weight? Oh, wow. Put the little one in the penalty. Obviously, you're allowed to put it back down. He touched it. He touched it. No, that's not how that works. You can touch it. You can touch it. That's how. Obviously, you're allowed to put it back down. He touched it. He touched it. No, that's not how that works. You can touch it.
Starting point is 01:54:47 You can touch it. That's how it's worked before. He's keeping it. Oh, he's keeping it. I said, stay away from that one, TJ. I said, stay away from that one. It's light. Suspiciously.
Starting point is 01:54:54 Light doesn't mean bad. Empty box light. I'm just saying. Homemade nothing. Okay. Zah. What number are we on? Six.
Starting point is 01:55:08 I'll be blue. Don't do me dirty, Zah. Don't do me dirty, Zah. Don't do me dirty, Zah. Oh, that's mine. Don't do me. Oh, we're allowing touching? Yes.
Starting point is 01:55:17 Don't do me dirty, Zah. I was kicking. I was touching. Don't do me dirty, Zah. I'll be so blue. Why don't you smell that bag? Fuck me, za. Does it smell like za-za?
Starting point is 01:55:31 Fuck me, za. Does it smell like za-za-za? Yeah. Oh! Oh! Fuck! That was wiffle ball revenge. No, I'm telling you.
Starting point is 01:55:40 That was wiffle ball revenge. That jacket just got copped, dude. He has a jacket. He's keeping the jacket. I wanted your jacket. No bean, bro. You've made a severe mistake. The jacket is part of the gift.
Starting point is 01:55:51 I promise you it is. Yes, it is. Weren't you a something from home guy? Yes. So that's a little confusing because your jacket is from home. That's part of it. My jacket's from LL Bean. Who's to say that the jacket isn't the gift and you...
Starting point is 01:56:06 I'll take that one. The big tall one? Yeah. KB, can you pass it to me? So you're seven? Yeah. Who's eight? Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:56:18 Wait, we're passing it like this? I told you. It's light as hell. No, we're strong as hell. What do you mean's light as hell. No, we're strong as hell. What do you mean? It's mine. I'm going to keep it like this. No one's playing their cards?
Starting point is 01:56:36 What is that? Yes, it's mine. Skis? It's already claimed. It's claimed. Kyle took it. Yeah! Rip out of the shot, bro. Good play. Yeah, you're right.
Starting point is 01:56:49 What could that be? No, I was kidding. So what's on the table still? It's mine. Well, is it yours or not? Obviously, I've said it's mine five times. Yeah, no, it's his. It's his. It's his. It's his. You should put it closer to yourself.
Starting point is 01:57:14 Sass is hammered. That's Sass. That's Sass. Sass is drunk off aspartame. The DCs are talking. He does seem drunk. Yeah. Take that one.
Starting point is 01:57:24 That's a good one. Trust me, that's a good one. That probably is. Trust me. Take that one. That's a good one. That probably is a good one. That probably is. Trust me. God damn it, that's the best one. Did you get that one? I just know it's the best one. I can see it's the best. You want mine? Do you see how big mine is? Brandon, I won't give you the eyes, but if it's a note, you have to give me your 500.
Starting point is 01:57:39 Big piece. Looks like Roan's a little unhappy with that one. The sphinx of Nick over there. Nick, that was an absolute fucking diabolical moment. I can't wait to open these. Damn it. Brandon going Star of David. That was my one, Mom.
Starting point is 01:57:55 That was your one, Mom? Yep. That could be a microwave, too. Okay, so what are the ones left? These three? Who's up? Who's up? Who's up?
Starting point is 01:58:02 Am I up? Yeah. Ten? No. Mook is up Mook's up Wait so we have an extra gift Perfect
Starting point is 01:58:08 Yeah we do have an extra gift That one That one we just That's why No 11 gets two gifts No the one The one that's left over Nope I do
Starting point is 01:58:16 One The one that's left over We just walked out Wait do you just play it? I don't have it Wait you can't just say it then No we have one extra gift That's like calling time out
Starting point is 01:58:23 You don't have any time out We have the extra gift We just throw it in the dumpster No we're not throwing it in the dumpster We just say it then. No, we have one extra gift. That's like calling time out. You don't have any time out. We have an extra gift. We just throw it in the dumpster. No, we're not throwing it in the dumpster. We just throw it in the dumpster. That could be a $1,000 gift. Just take it straight. 11th gift.
Starting point is 01:58:32 11th gift. I can't. Wait, did we have 12 gifts? Yeah, we had 12 gifts. I feel like the card was part of the other gift. So who brought? No. Oh.
Starting point is 01:58:43 Page would know. Who brought a gift? It was probably Kate. That's Kyle's gift that he brought from home. That's his homemade gift. Yeah, that's mine. Could have been Mr. Claus himself. I had two gifts.
Starting point is 01:58:58 Oh, Zahid brought two gifts. My gift was three parts, but I think they put them in one box. Oh, you brought two gifts to add up to your number. Yeah, five under. What two? Two one box. Oh, you brought two gifts to add up to your number. Yeah. Five under. What two? Two different boxes. Somebody should get both those boxes.
Starting point is 01:59:11 No, they're mutually exclusive. I think 11 should be. Wait. You brought one gift. We mutually exclusive. You screwed up the whole thing. Connor Griffin, you get the homemade gift. Connor Griffin gets homemade. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:59:19 Unless somebody else wants it. That's fair. No, that's extremely fair. Where is Connor? He's right behind you. Go get it. We made the most confusing show ever, and then at the very end, Zaz was like, yeah, I got two gifts.
Starting point is 01:59:28 Usually exclusive. And he stood on business. He was like, no, they're separate. No, you don't get both. Yeah. All right, so now we're opening. What is happening? Are we?
Starting point is 01:59:35 Are we all opening? No, no. I thought we were spinning to see who opened. I thought we were opening and then spinning, because then you know what you lost. Yes. That makes it better. We'll go reverse order, so Rome would open first. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:59:45 If we won it, we can swap or play a... No, no. No buy-dos are alive. Yes. Everyone's going to open up their gifts, open it in reverse order, and then we'll do this wheel... Wait, so I get last pick and I'm first to get fucked? Yep.
Starting point is 01:59:59 Okay. So wait, if you no buy-do somebody, do they get your gift? Yes. Yeah. Okay, okay. Yeah, it's a reverse of the swap. But the six swaps at the do they get your gift? Yes. Okay, okay. But the six swaps at the end still stand. Yes.
Starting point is 02:00:09 Three swaps. Six people. Okay. So I'm opening. You're opening. No-buy do's stand through the swaps, too. Another shot first. Yeah, probably. Unless they've already been used.
Starting point is 02:00:18 No-buy do's can be played after it's been opened? Yes. Yes. Okay. They get played forever. Jade, I don't act like you. Forever? You are allowed to save your no-buyiUs and bring them into the real world.
Starting point is 02:00:27 You can save this for three months? You're going to fuck your wife. I might walk in and say, nope, I do. Yep. Again? That is allowed. That's allowed. All I got to do is put my finger in a mousetrap.
Starting point is 02:00:39 Yep. You'll get AIDS. That's my mom. No, but I have got it from your mom. Connect those dots. You gave my get AIDS. That's my mom. No, but I have got it from your mom. Connect those dots. You gave my wife AIDS. All right, Rowan. Open up the gift.
Starting point is 02:00:53 Give me a little bit of blue. From my stupid mother. Are you itching for some blue? No, not at all. This is good ass blue. I see what it's doing to you boys. I was just? No, not at all. You want it at all? This is good-ass blue. I see what it's doing to you boys. I was just still enjoying it. Are you lonesome?
Starting point is 02:01:08 All right, all right. Shamed. Wait, what's that Christmas? Smurf cum. Clip that. Smurf. Chat, chat. Come off with a blue drink.
Starting point is 02:01:20 And I'll be blue. Great try. Cheers. Cheers, my boys. Cheers, cheers, cheers. Let's roll up the sleeves. Who's open? Rowan is. Everyone, sleeves up. Let's go. You know the drill.
Starting point is 02:01:34 Sleeves up for this shot. Sleeves up now. Alright. Mookie, sleeves up. Come on. Titus? Titus, higher. Higher. Okay, here Titus, higher. Higher. Okay, here we go, Roan.
Starting point is 02:01:49 And people obviously claim what you got. Yeah. Like, tell them who bought it. Big-ass Amazon box, heavy as hell. Wow. This was me. Batteries. But all these boxes also are boxes that...
Starting point is 02:02:04 Who has your jacket, Sass? Like, Paige had just a bunch of boxes. Oh, she re-boxed things? I know she re-boxed mine. We should probably have a knife. What? Do you guys use knives? Yes, use this, use this.
Starting point is 02:02:17 I do. Oh, shit. Litter robot? Whoa! Whoa! Oh, oh. Woah! Woah! Hey! Hey! Oh!
Starting point is 02:02:27 Oh! Oh! Oh! Is that a Roomba? It's a shark Roomba. Oh my god. That's a good gift! Good gift.
Starting point is 02:02:34 That's a good gift. That's my gift. Great gift. How much? You gotta give it to the fire department. So MSRP I think is 700 but it was on- it was a flash sale yesterday. So I got it like 340. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 02:02:46 Titus? Oh, wow. Tease God. Oh. Wait a minute. Ah, well. 700 value? I can't.
Starting point is 02:02:56 For the last pick? Oh, my God. This is Brock Purdy right here. That gift sucks. It's a $700 shirt, but it's a vacuum. I got a vacuum at home. Gonna wipe your puppy shit all over the apartment. I don't have space for that.
Starting point is 02:03:14 Yeah. Okay. I have a girlfriend. Why would I need a vacuum? I don't need a vacuum to push itself. You got shit to a fire department. Who's up next? Me, right?
Starting point is 02:03:22 Yeah. I got a bad feeling about this one. Why? There's nothing good in that box. What the fuck is this? Thin. Lego. Lego.
Starting point is 02:03:34 Oh, Legos. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. That's a bomb. How many pieces? Wait, what's the age? 18 plus. Who bought that? That's one of my gifts.
Starting point is 02:03:44 Oh, the exclusive. Wait, what's the age? 18 plus. Who bought that? That's one of my gifts. Oh, the exclusive. Yeah, that is the $21,335 pieces. That's the $300 portion of the $500. That is so fucking awesome. Pretty sick. Anyone going to use it, though? You going to steal that? I'll just put that thing in the dumpster now.
Starting point is 02:04:03 That's not what KV was saying. He was saying, is anyone going to use their nope ideas? Yeah, the nope ideas. What the fuck? He said honest reactions. Dude, I think I would. Oh, yeah. Honest reactions. Take another shot.
Starting point is 02:04:13 Honest reaction. Take another reaction. Go, Mook. Fuck these Legos. Wait, you don't want those Legos? Zah? I'm not a Lego guy. Yeah, fuck them Legos, too.
Starting point is 02:04:26 Yeah, Zah didn't take it. You know what the gift was? He had a chance to take it. I think that could be a fun evening in. Fucking Miles Turner over here. I'll be looking to swap. I think I want those Legos. Yeah?
Starting point is 02:04:36 I don't know. We can make a deal. No, no, no making deals. You take what you get. How? Shit. Unless the no-buy duesdoos hit or the swap hits. Who's up?
Starting point is 02:04:46 Brandon. Brandon's opening. Oh, foot massager. All right. Thoughts, Brandon? Honest. You're little piggies. Yeah, again, I have a wife.
Starting point is 02:05:00 I need a fucking foot massager. That's sick. That's what I like. So that's the $200 version. You were asked to buy one $500 gift. Those two don't go together at all. Trying to find something $500, man, is tough. You're acting like there's nothing that costs $500.
Starting point is 02:05:20 I mean, pinpointing it is tough. What do you mean? I just got a $300 Lego and then a foot massager But they can't be together $500 for a foot massager. I don't like that. Mom's reaction. You want a swap? No, you can't you're not allowed not yet. There's no swaps yet, and there's no personal swaps now Yeah, you got to do what the game says. Alright, who's up next? Brandon's trying to re-gift a lighthouse to his fucking seed. Oh, this is what Brandon
Starting point is 02:05:49 wanted. Who's opening? Very delicate. Okay, that could be really valuable. Paper. Okay. Mobile transfer ticket. Ooh, wow.
Starting point is 02:06:08 Tickets to Alanis Morissette. Wait, wait. Wait, what? I don't... Where? Where? Freedom Mortgage Pavilion? Where's that? Philadelphia.
Starting point is 02:06:20 Wait, it was $1,000? That's awesome. Oh, my God. Rowan, that was yours? $1,000? That's awesome. Oh, my God, Rowan, that was yours? $1,000? Where are these seats? In the orchestra pit. When is it? That's not bad.
Starting point is 02:06:32 My wife is from the area. Wait, where is it? When is it? It was yesterday. July 2nd. Oh, that's going to be beautiful. That's a phenomenal break. Nope, I do.
Starting point is 02:06:46 Hey, good use. Good use! Good use! No way! No way! So do I give this to you? Yeah, you gotta spin to see if you just get a straight up nope I do or you get a nope I do with a mousetrap.
Starting point is 02:07:02 So, does that cancel the nope I do? Yeah, right? So I don't get itetrap. So, wait. Does that cancel the nope-i-do? Yeah, right? So I don't get it at all. No, I think it's just he either adds a mousetrap or it's a straight-up nope-i-do. Yeah, you get the nope-i-do regardless. You get the nope-i-do regardless. I get lucky enough to get the nope-i-do.
Starting point is 02:07:16 This is your thing. It's either a straight-up nope-i-do or a mousetrap. I just kind of blurt. What aren't you getting? Blurt it out again. You can blurt out whatever nope-i-urt. What aren't you getting? Blurt it out again. You can blurt out whatever. Spin it. What a play. After you found out that his wife's family is from the area.
Starting point is 02:07:32 And it's right around July 4th. What a great concert. Yeah. I mean, it's like the 8th row. Fucking incredible tickets. Over a thousand dollars. I will have to get to Philly somehow. They got a Greyhound.
Starting point is 02:07:51 Ronan's just going to end up with these again. Okay. He gets the tickets, but it's awesome as a ducker. This is ironic. Yeah. So we still swap, right? Yeah, you still swap. So, Steven, you're going to open up Nick's gift because he... Or no, you got to wait until the first pick.
Starting point is 02:08:05 And there are three no-pie dudes that are still on the board. Let me move my gift out of the way. Same thingy. The little mousy. It's the second mousy of the day. Look at that cheese. Whatever you want to do. Get it, mousy.
Starting point is 02:08:21 Come on, mousy mouse. Mousy Mouse. Mousey Mouse. You almost did it right with the music. Yeah, that would have been fucking sweet. Go. That gets you a lot more set tickets. Yeah. Worth it?
Starting point is 02:08:43 Good swap. Oh, you ought to know. Very nice. Just went through the whole fucking album. Oh, you did? Yeah. Jagged a little pill? Hand in my pocket.
Starting point is 02:08:58 Oh, I didn't even hear you. This finger's fucked. Three times in two days. I passed with my left. All right, good. I was fucking worried. Who's up? I'm in the doghouse if I get home and I can't blast.
Starting point is 02:09:19 What do you mean you can't blast? Babe, I got good news and bad news. I got Alanis Morissette tickets, but I can't blast. We can listen to all the songs, but I can't touch your pussy. Good news and bad news. I got Alanis Morissette tickets, but I can't blast. We can listen to all the songs, but I can't touch your pussy. Good news, bad news. Good news. Do you know what this is? We're going to the orchestra.
Starting point is 02:09:33 I have no idea. Bad news. You're not going to get off tonight. Is that a wrestling mat? Oh, my God. Oh, my goodness. Oh, please be. No, not that heavy.
Starting point is 02:09:45 Where is it? It's going to be like a mat. No, not that heavy. Not heavy enough. Where is? It's going to be like a map. Is this just a fake box? Oh. We got played. God damn it. Oh. Oh, no. That's a...
Starting point is 02:09:53 Oh, god damn it. You got... Yeah, I knew it. There was nothing that height. Nothing? I was trying to cheat on you. Yeah, but where'd we get the box? Like a hatchet from the golf simulator or some shit?
Starting point is 02:10:09 It's good tunes. It's like a bard I said to thee oh Connors just had scissors. Yeah, they're right there and a box got there, but it's more fun to rip it with your hands Yes, this is for pussies. I've been gnarliest fucking paper cut Good pun. Oh, my God. My fucking finger, dude. Okay.
Starting point is 02:10:40 Uh-huh. Almost there. This is a letdown. This could be tears. We could see tears. Big Cat cries. I would cry right now if I was him. This is a fucking yacht park.
Starting point is 02:10:52 Oh, Jesus Christ. $20. $100 of Fortnite bucks. Oh, God. It doesn't get worse than that, folks. Oh, fuck. Oh, no. Lucky fuck. Oh, no. Lucky me.
Starting point is 02:11:05 No, it's like 30,000 V-Bucks. Lucky me. That's huge. Who was that? That's me. That's you, Moog. You're a piece of shit, Moog. You're a piece of shit.
Starting point is 02:11:14 That guy just gave you $4,000. Dude, those V-Bucks will go a long way. Did you rap it, too, or did Paige do that? Paige did it. Oh, that's so fucked up. Paige was on some diabolical shit. That's bad. I gave it to her. Did you rap it too or did Paige do that? Paige did it. Oh, that's so fucked up. Paige was on some diabolical shit. Okay. That's bad.
Starting point is 02:11:27 I gave it to her. She's like, I can fuck around with this. KB, you gotta be bugging about that stupid ass fucking box over there. Now I'm hyped. Because it was... Because what? Another prank like that? That would...
Starting point is 02:11:36 Tip of the cap. All right, who's up next? Sass, do you play Fortnite? Are you upset that I'm upset, Mook? Yeah, but I'm not buying Spend. Okay. No. I'm buying Spend. I hate this fucking game. not buying this. No. No. I'm buying this.
Starting point is 02:11:45 I hate this fucking game. I got Legos. Oh, bad. I got Legos. Legos is significantly better than the Fortnite gift card. I'd rather have the Fortnite gift card. Fortnite's a free game. It's also free.
Starting point is 02:11:58 Is it? Yeah. There's nothing you can get that would make it better. Buy skins. You could buy the weekend skin or the Peter Griffin skin. You could buy Titus's outfit. There's nothing you can get that would make it better. Buy skins. You could buy the weekend skin or the Peter Griffin skin. You could buy Titus' outfit. Peter Griffin skin. There is a Christmas tree guy outfit.
Starting point is 02:12:13 Oh, really? Yeah. All right, who's next? I'm up. All right, Zaha. All righty. This is pretty bad. I'm a chance.
Starting point is 02:12:21 See it. Oh, boy. Blazy Susan No, I like them, but it's free. You know what I have one of these so so fuck this I have one of these already you wanted my honest reaction. I have one of these what is it? I take no offense. I actually wanted it, but also that you get the Would like to apologize. Thank you, Seth. No, I don't want an apology.
Starting point is 02:12:47 I don't want an apology. I was hoping... There is another gift that I didn't bring. I can get swaps. It's a big dog vintage golf polo. Oh, that's incredible. Yes. No, no, he'll just take the jacket.
Starting point is 02:12:57 That's at my hotel. I can bring that in tomorrow. No, the jacket is what he wants. What size? Yeah, it's all. Throw on the jacket. It does not fit me. I just want to see what the jacket looks like on you, Zod.
Starting point is 02:13:05 It's too big. I bet it's going to look good. No, it'll fit you. It's a good polo. Great quality. So, Blazy Susan, a coat. No, the coat is not included. Yes, it is.
Starting point is 02:13:17 Okay. Put the coat on. Who's next? Zod, don't you fucking dare. Luke, I want to see that lighthouse just set up in your apartment. There's so much pressure knowing there's three people. I'll never be able to put this together. I know.
Starting point is 02:13:28 Fucking Luke. Why is that? Oh. The loudest. Is TJ? Oh, yes, TJ. What's he got? TJ got a box.
Starting point is 02:13:40 Okay, okay, okay, okay. That could be anything. Mm-hmm. It could be in anything. Let's hope. That's a anything. It could be in anything. Let's hope. That's a whole box of Blazy Suze in fucking bags. Don't disrespect Blazy Suze. I love Blaze.
Starting point is 02:13:55 Shout out Blazy Trey. Blase Suze. Blase, Blase, Blase. Is this a lot of things in that box? Yes, sir. What's he got? Wait. Is that more? Are those mutually that box? Yes, sir. What's he got? Wait.
Starting point is 02:14:05 Is that more? Are those mutually exclusive? Oh, more boxes. Oh, my God. Oh, there could be small boxes inside those boxes. I think there might be. What was that noise? Is it a Funko Pop?
Starting point is 02:14:24 Oh, yeah. A tinier box. Another Amazon box. Funko Pop's not a bad gift. Yeah, it is. That shit sucks dick. It does. Thanks. I got Gamora for fucking...
Starting point is 02:14:37 I got Heisenberg. Yeah, this is sweet. Thanks. Oh, wait. This is my gift, I think. There's a lot. Oh. TJ, turn your mic on. Oh, you're going to lose this, TJ. I don't know what this is.. Thanks. Oh, wait. This is my gift, I think. There's a lot. TJ, turn your mic on.
Starting point is 02:14:48 Oh, you're going to lose this, TJ. I don't know what this is. Just so you know. Looks like a Funko Pop. It's a Fortnite Funko Pop. I have two of those. Fanny pack with a speaker in it? Hell yeah. Cool.
Starting point is 02:15:00 Fuck yeah. Come up. Cool. How many boxes are in there? Wireless business headset. Oh yeah, I bought you a Bluetooth. Oh, fire. Old school.
Starting point is 02:15:12 Dude, you gotta start driving Uber. Yeah, old school Bluetooth. Oh, TJ, there's one thing you're gonna love in this. As-salamu alaykum, brother. Uber drivers don't even, like, speak English. So yeah, I bought, like like six things that all are worthless. Thank you. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:15:27 How much were, how much were your... It was like, it was 50, but I ended up spending about like 250. This sounds like it's Chex Mix. Yeah. Sounds like it's one of those... I don't remember everything I bought, so this is going to be a surprise to me as well. Mm-hmm. What's that?
Starting point is 02:15:49 Digital finger watches? Oh yeah, pinky rings. Oh cool. Four of them. But watches? Yeah. I don't know why I got four because you only have two pinkies. Kyle, are you getting excited? What else? It might be a big drum.
Starting point is 02:16:05 It might be a djembe. It could be a big djembe. It's like a big ass. Yeah. What is that? Wait, what is that, TJ? Power style. Oh, I think that's one of those.
Starting point is 02:16:20 I bought the crazy flashlights that blind you. Oh, power style. Yeah. That's sick. The tactical flashlights. blind you. Oh, power stuff. Yeah. That's sick. The tactical flashlights. I would love one of those. Yeah, you turn it on and it lights up the whole sky. There's two of them.
Starting point is 02:16:33 Oh, there's two of them? You got a Kimbo. You got to turn that on. Yeah, let's turn this on. Put on that power style. All right, what else? There's one thing you're going to love in there, TJ. Oh, there's more.
Starting point is 02:16:42 There's way more. Yeah. I don't remember. The Bluetooth is the crown That big box out uh just throw it what's that? Did you buy What TJ we laugh ring us some noise that just happened oh, yeah The gift is opening them, really. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:17:08 My gift is being with you guys. Gay. Yeah. Okay, then. Apple Watch magnetic fast charger. What? Wait. Oh, wait.
Starting point is 02:17:20 No, that actually, I bought that for myself. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Fuck! I don't think so. I just got a new Apple Watch. Merry Christmas. There was a bunch of boxes in my front hallway, and I just grabbed them all. There's going to be, like, shit for your wife in there.
Starting point is 02:17:33 Yeah, fuck! Damn it! That was not supposed to be for you. Thanks, big kid. Wait, that one's the one. Brandon's going to be jealous of this. Fuck yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:17:48 Uh-huh. It's got to be a wrestling thing. Nope. I'll be jealous. Yeah, you'll be jealous. Come out and show it to the people. Either wrestling or titties. Come out and show it to them.
Starting point is 02:17:56 Those look like titties. Not in that bag. Titties usually come different wrapping. What is it? Get out of here. And screaming. The What is it? Get out of here. And screaming. The hell? Get your ass out of here.
Starting point is 02:18:08 No. The hell? Look at that. Ooh. It's a Game Boy watch. What? What? It's a Game Boy?
Starting point is 02:18:14 Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's a Game Boy watch. How do you like Atlantis more? How cool is that? Zoom in. That is sick. Yeah, I got a lot of stuff.
Starting point is 02:18:24 Yeah, it's cool. I technically got you five watches. A lot of watches. Yeah, I got a lot of stuff. That's cool. I technically got you five watches. A lot of watches. Four pinky ring watches and a flashlight. And a charger for your watch. Yeah. I need to see that flashlight, too.
Starting point is 02:18:36 Dude, it's sick. It was the top of my Amazon for you. It was just a dude clicking it, and the whole light, the whole sky lit up. You're supposed to have it if you're a woman in a bad area. Also, two Switchblade pocket combs. Oh, I forgot about those. Two Switchblade pocket combs. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:18:58 Two Switchblade pocket combs, two flashlights, Game Boy Watch, Apple Watch charger, four pinky rings. Wow. And a speaker. And a Bluetooth headset. And a speaker head phone. And a Bluetooth headset. And a Bluetooth headset. I think I won. That's good shit.
Starting point is 02:19:10 It's really good. That's good trinkets. Yeah, okay. I love trinkets. Me too. It's all the trinkets. Who's up? KB next.
Starting point is 02:19:21 All right. KB. He was trying to move it over, but I think he gave up. He was too weak. I didn't want to Accidentally open it I think this one is mine We won't go until you get some We won't go until we get some
Starting point is 02:19:38 We won't go until you get some So bring it right here I think this one might be mine But I need need to see it open at first to know. It cannot be upside down either. Mine was big and heavy. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. It's Nicky Smokes.
Starting point is 02:19:58 Oh, yeah. That's fire. Yeah, KB's the perfect guy to get this. Did you get a guy? Got a guy. A body opponent bag. Yeah. Oh, my God, KB. the perfect guy to get this. Did you get a guy? Got a guy. Yeah. Oh, my God, KB. That's huge.
Starting point is 02:20:16 Oh, yeah. Somebody break his heart. I'm going to fly. I'm going to have to get another seat on the plane and fly back with that thing. Oh, yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, fuck yeah. Look at his ass. Fuck him up. Fuck him up,
Starting point is 02:20:36 Kyle. Oh, yeah. I think it was $400. That's Palizzy's guy. $400, which is $360 more than I would have guessed. You'd think. Oh, hell yeah, dude. It comes with a whole base. The Aeneas Studio just came up.
Starting point is 02:20:54 Oh, man. We're not keeping that, are we? Somebody's going to steal that. I was going to his house. Yeah, definitely. All right. That cat's going to claw the shit out of that thing. Who's up next?
Starting point is 02:21:03 That thing is sick. Sass. Sass. Sassy, open it. Open it. Open it. Sass, open your gift. Oh, I'm up? Yeah.
Starting point is 02:21:17 And then who's left? I saw you coming in with that. I thought it was Sass, Titus, and Nick in that order. Yes, but Nick is Che. Nick is Che. Nick is Che. Nick is Che. Che is Nick. Who else needs some blue?
Starting point is 02:21:33 Reused box. He's already bitching. No, I'm not. I'm just stating the fact. Reused box. They're scissors. You don't need scissors. In Christmas with all two.
Starting point is 02:21:51 Is this a drill? What is it? It's a saw. What is it? Hold it up. Who got this? That was mine. Oh, that would be fun on the bike.
Starting point is 02:22:09 Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, that's great. These are actually pretty sick. You can get it to your fridge. Oh, you can break into your fridge. Find the mice. You can fly with that. That's exactly what you needed. You can check that.
Starting point is 02:22:20 This is huge. It's two drills and two saws. Yeah, you need that to get it to your fridge. Oh, there we go. That's a great gift. That's a great gift. saws. I wanted one of these. Yeah, you need that to get it to you. Oh, there we go. That's a great gift. That's a great gift. Thank you. No, I really do like it.
Starting point is 02:22:30 Andyman like me? Anyone? No, but me. Nope, my turn. All right, Titus. All right. Here we go. Oh, let's go.
Starting point is 02:22:46 Oh, shit. Fireplace? That's what you just said. Yeah. The solo stove. Nice. That thing's sweet. They're a sponsor.
Starting point is 02:22:53 Oh, it's a sponsor. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you can just have that cooking. The solo smokeless stove. That's a good gift, too. That's a great gift. I bought that. Did you actually buy it, or did they?
Starting point is 02:23:04 No, I got it. That might be the best gift. Do you use the promo code? We keep talking about them and I was like, I would like for one of my friends to have those. We're like, I want that. That's a smokeless stove. You just sit out and Wait, that's fucking awesome.
Starting point is 02:23:17 You want to go to Morissette? Hell yeah. I want to steal that. You should post and say you're off the smoke. Where are all the no-buy dues? Crazy. I think they're waiting? Meanwhile, Connor Griffin is one of the luckiest sons of bitches in this building. Streamore! Really? Why, what'd you get him? Oh, Connor, open your gift.
Starting point is 02:23:34 Oh wait, no, Che and then Connor. Yeah, but Connor is off the grid. He can't be stolen from. Can't be stolen from. So he just has keepies on KB's gift? Yeah. Sass, I want you to board the plane with a tool belt and that in the belt. That looks good, too. Yeah, it's my gift.
Starting point is 02:23:54 I wanted it. That's why I picked it. What is that? It's a Dolby Audio portable 1080p full HD video projector. It's a big ass. God damn. Don't hit his ass with it. I got that half off. I had a $350. affordable 1080p full HD video projector It's a big ass projector God damn! Whoa! Don't hit his ass with it
Starting point is 02:24:07 I got that half off I had a $350 gift that was half off Steal it back, Nick Wait, is this a projector TV? Yes Oh, cool Thanks Fuck
Starting point is 02:24:16 A fire station's about to be having a movie night, dude I would keep this if I'm lucky enough to retain it Hey, Connor, what do you got? Where should I open this? Use your no buy dude. Uh, it was $700. I got a no buy dude right there. Right there.
Starting point is 02:24:32 And this can't be no buy dude. It's mysterious, the no buy dude. Oh, no. Goal! It's a bunch of cookies! Oh, that's awesome! Oh, man. That's the best gift here. KB, is there more? Go cookies. Oh That's the best gift here KB. Is there more yeah, it should be my yes, I'm back the luckiest motherfucker in here That why you were late did you cook these KB a little a little bit I beat the eggs that's cologne Cologne Homemade cologne Did you make cologne?
Starting point is 02:25:10 Fair warning, I don't know what it's gonna smell like But I did Come out here and spritz that There's still something left in the bag One second What else is in there? How do you make cologne? There's still something left in the bag. One second. What else is in there? How do you make cologne?
Starting point is 02:25:30 It should be glaringly obvious what else is in there. It's a pair of size 9 Nikes. They fit big. What size are you, Connor? 13. Wait, spritz yourself, man. I want to smell you. This might be up. Yeah, we got to get a hazard. Give want to smell you. Oh, this might be up. Yeah, we got to get a hazard.
Starting point is 02:25:46 Give me a little on my... I use some citrus. Oh, my God. It's not bad. Those are the shoes Kyle wore today on the app. Kyle wore those shoes today. Oh, those are the shoes. Those are his ridiculousness shoes.
Starting point is 02:26:07 We made fun of him and he gave away his shoes. Holy shit. We made fun of you so hard. This smells so good. You didn't make this. How did you make this? I didn't fucking make it. That's great.
Starting point is 02:26:18 Damn it. I forgot I had it, though. I'm too afraid to use it. You're too afraid to use cologne, but it smells good. Yeah I can't believe you made this There's still three more swaps yet to go I'm just testing it out hey, why are you opening? That's so back in there. Are you KB open here? It's not yours. Yeah, that's it his out. Yeah, that's it out I see did he threw it on the ground. No, I didn't.
Starting point is 02:26:45 No, I didn't. Never did. Never did. It never happened. Never happened. All right, so there's still three nope-i-dos out there? Just because you guys didn't get the idea to open yours doesn't mean I can't open mine. It wasn't an idea.
Starting point is 02:26:55 I had the idea. All right, let's do swaps. So it's the spin, and then it's just those two people paired up have to swap, no complaints. And once they do, they're off the wheel. Correct. Wait. That can't be nope-i-dos? Whoa. Oh, that's they're off the wheel. Correct. Wait. That can't be normal. Whoa.
Starting point is 02:27:05 Oh, that's a light. What is that? Holy shit. That's the fucking first light. Oh, my God, I want that. Wait, do the bright one. It's so bright. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 02:27:13 Do the bright one. Can you turn off the light? That's not the bright one? No, I think there's a brighter one. Oh, fuck. Oh, shit. The projector's going. You see it?
Starting point is 02:27:23 You like that? Yeah, that was awesome. It's sick This light is so great They had a special deal? It was the last one Stop opening that Sass You can't stop me
Starting point is 02:27:33 Why? You can't stop Sass you're gonna have to bring A bunch of like drill bits In your bag Just keep it in the box Brother I'll be okay What if you have to swap
Starting point is 02:27:41 With someone? Holy shit And they don't want it Open like that I just want to try the saw. He just wants to try the saw. There are two saws. I got to get it.
Starting point is 02:27:49 Yeah. Yeah, test one. Yeah, of course. Well, the saw's already out, brother. It's right there. What is that saw? I'm trying to find the battery. Well, it's not going to be charged.
Starting point is 02:27:56 It doesn't come with batteries, bro. Wait, I think it could. It doesn't come with a battery? It probably comes with a battery. It will be. That shit's sweet. That could stop an intruder. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:28:05 I regret the cologne. Yeah. I don't know he didn't make it. It kind of stinks. It's Axe Body Spray. Yeah, it's kind of awful. It smells really strong. Now it swaps.
Starting point is 02:28:15 It was good for homemade. How about passing around those cookies, honestly? What's wrong in here? We're going to share the cookies? No, no, that's just for Connor. Take them home. How about we pass around those cookies, Connor? Well, let's spin the...
Starting point is 02:28:24 Wait, are they special cookies, KB? Connor... Maybe a Swaparoo? Don't give anyone... Those are for you only. What kind of cookies are they? Connor, I'm... What kind of cookies?
Starting point is 02:28:33 Yeah, that's true. I think chocolate chip and peppermint candy cane. Oh, fuck. That sounds so good. I was wrong about this, because this is probably the best gift. All right, let's do Swaps now. So that's a gift of $500 face value.
Starting point is 02:28:46 I can't do anything with it because I can't. It's $500 face value, so stop touching it then. Stop ripping it to shreds. I am not ripping it to shreds. You're ripping it to shreds. You're ripping the battery. It's Christmas. I'm not going to not play with my toys
Starting point is 02:29:02 while I have them. Before we bring them to the shelter and donate them. Start spinning just so Sass can stop playing. Three swaps. Yeah, we got to stop him. Three swaps. Can't stop opening it, guys. What do you want him to do?
Starting point is 02:29:14 Well, hurry up and spin. So once the spin happens. What do you got a saw? That's all I wanted to do. It's all the box. Once the spin happens, what are you going to say? You're dulling the saw now. It's got a dull blade. I'll tell you that. You're making a duller. You can. It's all the box. Once the spin happens, what are you going to say? You're dulling the saw now. It's got a dull blade.
Starting point is 02:29:25 I'll tell you that. You're making it duller. You can't even carve through the cardboard. What were you going to say? Once the swap happens? Once the swap happens, can you nope-I-do, or is everything off the table? No, nope-I-do's always going to happen. Nope-I-do's lasts to the end of the game.
Starting point is 02:29:39 You're pissing me off. Chase someone. That's sexy. I kind of want to attach a dildo to this. Just kind of. I kind of want to attach a big fucking dildo. Start off nice and soft. Nice and easy like that.
Starting point is 02:29:59 Hell yes. And then what? Give that to Nick. His finger's out of commission. Yeah, dude. I did that. Bring this home to your girl. Babe, I'm sorry about the finger.
Starting point is 02:30:12 I got this Atlantis ticket and a power tool. This is so sexual. I got a craftmatic. I'm going to fuck you bionically. Oh my God. Babe, I know I promised I wouldn't mousetrap.
Starting point is 02:30:27 But I got a fucking treat for you tonight. Oh man, let me know. Let me know when. I'm going to be in so much trouble. Tell me when. Alright, let's do the first swap. Alright, I'm done. I'm done. And once people swap, their names are off the board, though, correct?
Starting point is 02:30:50 Or can your gift be swapped infinite times? It's swapped. But can it be swapped multiple times? No. But it can be no pie, dude. Right. I think your name comes off. That's what I think as well.
Starting point is 02:30:59 Yeah. But I'm... I really don't want to lose these tickets. I don't want to lose these power drill. It's just one. Two drills, two saws. I don't want to lose these power drills. That's crazy.
Starting point is 02:31:12 I don't want to lose these power drills. Dude, the DCs are singing. Man. All right, spin that thing. Running off of like an hour of sleep. All right. Fuck. Damn it.
Starting point is 02:31:24 Titus. Damn it. Titus. Damn it. Oh, that's pretty cool. So who is Titus trading with? Whoever has an apartment probably shouldn't. That's smokeless.
Starting point is 02:31:34 Smokeless, bro. Do that in an apartment. You could light that thing on the plane if you wanted to. Smokeless. Smokeless, bro. So do I leave him on
Starting point is 02:31:42 fire place? No, you take him off. Cool fire place. Ahmed Muhammad. So do I leave him on the final place? Take him off. Go on my place. Ahmed Muhammad. God damn it. Yes! God damn it. That hurts.
Starting point is 02:31:57 That's so nasty. That's nasty work. Congratulations, Big Sam. Fortnite. What the hell? That's nasty work. That's fucked. Congratulations, Big Sam. Fortnite. Oh. Hey. What the hell? Hey.
Starting point is 02:32:09 That's 30,000 V-Bucks. You want me to chop them? No. No, no, no. Let me take a saw. Start them off slow. I need that saw to wind up. Great opportunity.
Starting point is 02:32:20 Nope, I do. The Fortnite, by the way. I mean, that's all I wanted to do. I'm never going to use it after that. That's what I wanted. Fuck, dude. I already had plans for that stove. Yeah, and I have little kids, so I probably won't be able to use this for a while.
Starting point is 02:32:32 What were you going to do with the stove? Turn it on. But now, what are you going to do with the Fortnite box? God, dude. Dude. I was a prodigy at Fortnite, though. I played one time. Yeah, you were awesome.
Starting point is 02:32:46 Yeah, you were. 37th. Now you can do cool skins. All right, but I could. Oh, wait, no, I can't lose this now. That's yours. Unless I want no Piedos. Somebody no Piedos.
Starting point is 02:32:54 Yeah, when are people going to use the no Piedos? I can't believe you used yours, and there's still three floating out there. And I still have to get to Philly. Okay, spin it again. No Piedos. Okay. And I still have to get to Philly. Okay, spin it again. No, by the way. We won't go until we get some. We won't go until we get some. Oh.
Starting point is 02:33:14 Oh. Not his drills. Fucking A. You know the drills, Zach. You can't take away the man's drills. Those are his drills. Pack them back up. You never got a chance to have that thing.
Starting point is 02:33:26 Fuck you. I'm packing up shit, bitch. Pack them back up, bitch. You sloppy bitch. I'll pack them up. Yeah, you will. You're getting more reset. If you can come and take it from me.
Starting point is 02:33:36 Yep. Oh. Brandon. Not my foot massager. Brandon, this is actually pretty good. Oh, this is a good trade-off. Good deal. No, this is a double L.
Starting point is 02:33:44 Double L. Look how fucking hot that is. Oh, this is a good trade-off. Good deal. No, this is a double L. Double L. Look how fucking hot that is. Baby, tell me when. Brandon's never going to use that. Baby, whenever you're ready. Whenever you're ready. No, no, no. You can't even play with it anymore.
Starting point is 02:33:58 Let me know when you want me to kick it up to gear three. Oh! Brandon, are you going to use this on your lady? All you got to do is just you take a dildo and you just... Let go of it, Sass. It's not yours anymore. It's not yours. All right, all right.
Starting point is 02:34:15 Say goodbye. Sorry, I'm trying to figure out how to turn the safety on. Battery off. Want me to take the blade out? Because I know how to do that. It came with the blade in. Just leave it. It did not, brother. You put the blade in? Because I know how to do that. It came with the blade in. Just leave it. It did not, brother. You put the blade in? Of course. That was a great swap, Brandon.
Starting point is 02:34:30 Dude, you're going to hurt yourself. So there's one more swap. There's one more swap out there and three nope-i-dos. Realistically, whatever Sas gets is staying here. You can only nope-i-do for the swaps. Don't lose that blade. What? No, you can't nope-i-do for the swaps. You can only do it for the
Starting point is 02:34:45 Goodbye I don't know what else You can do We're gonna sit here And just wait for everyone To play their no pie do Yeah it's a 12 hour stream That thing is
Starting point is 02:34:55 Brandon Two drills Two saws No No that's yours Oh Oh Oh
Starting point is 02:34:59 Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Starting point is 02:35:00 Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Starting point is 02:35:00 Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Starting point is 02:35:02 Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Starting point is 02:35:02 Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Starting point is 02:35:03 Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Starting point is 02:35:04 Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Che! Hey, not projector. No. Yeah, I want that. I want that bad. I want that bad. Yeah, it's sick. Oh, he's stressing. But he could get Atlantis back. This would be just. Or he could get Legos.
Starting point is 02:35:16 Oh! He could get Legos! Oh, my God. What a cheek. He's going to spin this win. Billy boys, too. Chase, you're going to spin this win. Three, two, one, Che.
Starting point is 02:35:25 Wait, what? What do you think about your Legos? Somebody can know if I do. Yeah. He's going to spin it, yeah. Did you just use a note by doing it? No, I said honest reaction. Oh.
Starting point is 02:35:35 I'm not a Lego guy, but I can appreciate that. It's a cool gift, but I'm not going to personally assemble it. Mook's apartment's the size, like if he projects it, it would be the size of a stamp. No, it's going to take up the entire apartment. He's just going to use it as all his lighting. I feel like that episode of The Office. Yeah, but with a projector.
Starting point is 02:35:54 It's just like the theater. So that was the last swap. So how do we nope I do now? I was expecting people to play them. As was I. You have to use them, right? Yes. That was the one rule? I was expecting people to play them As was I You have to use them, right? Yes That was the one rule, that you have to use them
Starting point is 02:36:08 People are just playing a game of chicken with us Time to start swapping, fellas Who's out there? We got Fortnite Bucks We got a foot massager Got some drills Lazy Susan I'm convinced Che didn't write the proper amount
Starting point is 02:36:21 Very possible I think he did I think someone is a little scared. His name rhymes with Randon. Oh, shit. I have one. What the fuck? Whoops.
Starting point is 02:36:31 I didn't know I had one. Sass, you want a stove for your apartment in New York? I would like that. Nope, I do. Wow. You got to spin, brother. Yeah, I'll spin. Give me that foot massager.
Starting point is 02:36:42 I'm not getting up. I'm for dick. I thought I had a nope the whole time. Anybody else have a nope I do? Well, two people have it. I have a nope. Brandon has a nope I do. I also have a nope.
Starting point is 02:36:52 I don't have a nope I do. I have a nope. Okay. Titus? I have a nope. Booth? Oh, TJ. I have a nope I do.
Starting point is 02:37:00 Oh, TJ. Ah, hey. TJ. I have a nope I do, too. What do you boys TJ. I have a Nope ID, too. What do you boys want? I have a Nope as well. So Zah and TJ have them? Yeah.
Starting point is 02:37:12 TJ. Okay, get those Fortnite bucks. TJ, look at this. Can you set up the mouse trap? TJ, you want a fucking stove? Right for your spot in Chicago. I honestly wanted those cookies. I would take stove for projector. I need Sas to get those in Chicago. I honestly wanted those cookies. I would take stove for a projector.
Starting point is 02:37:27 I need Sas to get those drills back. Right there. I'm going to get my tools. I don't have enough walls in my apartment for the projector. Neither. Oh, I could put one in my room, though. That projector is sweet. This mouse is ready to go.
Starting point is 02:37:43 I know. I watched you buy it. How are you going to get over all that stuff, mousey? Oh, my God. The mouse is... Is there a mouse over there? I feel like I just saw a mouse. No.
Starting point is 02:37:55 Oh, no. He's coming out. What could that be? He's a brave little thing. It's a big mouse. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 02:38:04 Oh. Oh. Oh, there he is. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, there he is. Oh, he's shy. Oh, that's... I think that's just Big Cat. Oh. Oh, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 02:38:12 Oh, God. Oh, no. Don't do it. Please don't do it. Oh, man. Oh, my God. You know what? Fuck it.
Starting point is 02:38:21 Do it. It's a little mousey. The cheese. Ah. Ah. You know what fuck it do it That's a good nope I do and now we have two more in there though that need to be used. TJ, shall we dance? Why did I do that? I'm so fucked up. I can barely bend it. I love this shit. I have a thing.
Starting point is 02:38:55 If TJ doesn't take that, is he a fake gamer? Can't the no-buy-dos say they want to keep their own gift? No, you have to use it. But no, if Roan tries to steal, or no, if they try to steal, somebody tries to steal theirs, they can say no. No, well, here's what they could do. Zahn, TJ? Yeah?
Starting point is 02:39:12 You guys both like your gifts? Oh, yeah. Couldn't you just no-buy-do each other? Yes, the blazy Susan. Zahn has the blazy fanny pack. It would be a split steal. We'd have to agree to it. I don't want that.
Starting point is 02:39:25 No, I'm saying, TJ, follow me along. Agreement. You nope-eye-do Zah, he nope-eye-do's you. But what if he doesn't nope-eye-do me back? Oh, he could. TJ, I have Fortnite bucks. Zah, what do you want, really? Yeah, what do you want, Zah?
Starting point is 02:39:43 I don't know. This Roomba goes crazy. And I really want Sass's jacket what do you want, Zah? I don't know. This Roomba goes crazy. TJ, do you play Fortnite? And I really want Sass's jacket. I play Fortnite. Do you play Fortnite, TJ? I do play Fortnite. Because I feel like Fortnite bucks would be good for someone who plays Fortnite.
Starting point is 02:39:52 $100. I don't know. I'll be honest. The one thing I want I shouldn't have and is off the board. The cookies. That's literally all I want. I would get high and polish that entire fucking thing in one sitting. You could get cookies anyway.
Starting point is 02:40:07 Well, you boys still have to play. Nah, but KBs. KBs. It's a little different. Thank you. All right, I'm going to take the... The Roomba's still out there, too, boys. Yeah, Rowan, you're going to hate me for this, but I'm going to take that.
Starting point is 02:40:21 So I get the Blazy Susan and Sass's jacket? Yes, sir. And the Big Dog shirt. That's a come up. That's a three-way come up. Nah, so I get the Blazy Susan and Sass's jacket? Yes, sir. And the Big Dog shirt. That's a come up. That's a three-way come up. You do not get the jacket. I 100% do. Nope, you do not. It was out there. What are you talking about? Yes, he does. I gotta see the jacket on your own. I just used my nope, you do not. I wanna see. Oh, you don't have a nope.
Starting point is 02:40:37 No, no, no, no. Go ahead and put that jacket on. Alright, TJ, what are you doing? You could get Sass's jacket. TJ, please. The jacket is not up for grabs. TJ wants his trinkets. There's some good trinkets in there. The flashlights are cool.
Starting point is 02:40:53 I want the fucking stove. TJ, I know you want a smokeless stove. I want the stove. The stove is sick. TJ, take the stove and then... Yeah. Oh! TJ, take the stove and then we'll no trade backs wait the Legos from
Starting point is 02:41:08 so from Che and so what would you get from Che what the fuck is change I'm gonna give you the snow yeah he's not get on a flight I'm not flying home with a stove. In New York City. Yes, I do. You have the foot massage. No, we swapped. I don't have it. Wait, what if I... Sass, would you trade the stove for your jacket back? A hundred percent. Legos! Who has the Legos?
Starting point is 02:41:37 Oh, so Jay ends up with the trinkets. I'll set all the nope-i-dos. Yeah. And we are done. Well. Uh-oh. We have to spin our wheel Oh yeah Oh yeah
Starting point is 02:41:50 What's our wheel? Our wheel The show's wheel Oh yeah And it will probably Land on Mousetrap Oh it's a shitty ass wheel Oh shit
Starting point is 02:41:57 The wheel is in a bad spot I wanted to land on Mousetrap so bad My finger can't take anymore Let's make a pledge If it lands on Mousetrap, we all Mousetrap. Deal. Deal. What the fuck? Except for one person
Starting point is 02:42:11 who gets to go to the Alanis Morissette concert. Yes. I would lose a finger for this show. No, no, no. Nick, you don't have to give that up. But one person shouldn't have to do Mousetrap. Yes, one person doesn't have to do Mousetrap. I'm very, very excited for Alanis Morissette. Yeah, no. One person doesn't have to do Mousetrap. Whoa. I did that. That was Pink Floyd-y. Okay.
Starting point is 02:42:29 Wet would really suck. That would. Wet would be the worst. Wet? Uh-huh, yeah. Oh, no. Motherfucker. Guys, good news.
Starting point is 02:42:47 If anyone gets wet, I have a jacket you can wear in there. I should have saved my nope-I-do. Oh, my God. No, no. This is worth it. You want to go to see Atlantis on July 2nd in the orchestra pit? What does that mean? Right down front.
Starting point is 02:43:02 It's the eighth row. I feel bad taking this from you No It's a fucking She brought it as a gift Yeah it's a gift Todd You think that I feel bad Taking the Blazy Susan from Sass? You're right it's the same thing
Starting point is 02:43:15 Okay Well this is gonna suck for one of us That's hilarious I got the free gift Hold up I've never spent that much What a differential That's hilarious. I got the free gift. Hold on. Like I had the $700 gift from Jay. Oh, man.
Starting point is 02:43:33 You can take the stove. I'm going on the same flight as you. True. This is like... You said first class. They probably let you bring stoves up there. All right, let's see who's getting wet. You can roast marshmallows up in the front. Who do we think it's going to be?
Starting point is 02:43:48 Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Jack Frost nibbling at your nose. Tiny tots with their hearts all aglow. Merry
Starting point is 02:44:03 Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to you. I've had a lot of fun. It's been a lot of fun. Kate should be on the wheel, and so should Nikki Smokes. Yes. God, I hope it's Smokes.
Starting point is 02:44:25 And her baby. Her baby never made an appearance. Her baby never came out. Yeah, it just was brought up. But Blazy Susan should be on there, too. Definitely. Trey. Paige.
Starting point is 02:44:34 Paige. Paige should be on there. Paige wrapped all of our gifts for us. Spider came in here right in the beginning. Did he? He brought in the biggest. He didn't talk. That was weeks ago.
Starting point is 02:44:43 Interesting. All right. I like the size of this talk. That was weeks ago. Interesting. All right. I like the size of this wheel. Yeah, this wheel is... None of us here are going to get it. Elimination or... Elimination. It is interesting that Nicky Smokes has not called us to let us know that he fucked.
Starting point is 02:44:56 Oh, I'll call him right now. He must really like her. Yeah, call him. Interesting. He's probably so embarrassed that he fucked. The Nicky Smokes I know would be fucking right now. He's going to try to hide his hard dick from the camera. Guys, I fucked up.
Starting point is 02:45:09 I don't want to have sex. Promise me you won't be mad. What's up, big cat? Yo, player. What's good? You fuck? Don't worry about it. Where are you right now?
Starting point is 02:45:28 That's a no. The crib. Oh, shit. Is she there? Yeah, I'm not putting her on the yacht. Okay, all right. All right, respect, respect, respect. All right, see you tomorrow, player.
Starting point is 02:45:40 Game, real respect, real. Already at the crib. It's only like 10. He definitely started the date at the crib. Yes. Got hung up at work. Whole bunch of bullshit. I'm not trying to fuck her.
Starting point is 02:45:50 I'm not trying to fuck her, but I'm going to have a date at my crib. We just come back to my place and chill. I was in a box for a while. Yeah. I was in a tight place. I've had a real tough day, babe. I got smoked. All right.
Starting point is 02:46:04 Spin this fucking shit I think it might be me nah dude you're fucked I have a bad feeling it's gonna be you I'm due for wet there's no way it's gonna be Nick oh let's go literally impossible for it to be Nick
Starting point is 02:46:19 what are you doing you're mad at me how would I be mad no it definitely could be Nick Nick loses everything there you go What are you doing? You're mad at me. How would I be mad? No, it definitely could be Nick. Nick loses everything. There you go, Zah. Zah. Boo. Way to be, kid. Way to be, kid.
Starting point is 02:46:44 Never gotten wet Wow Never will Never will Yeah it's me Don't say that name Jay gone It's me
Starting point is 02:46:54 I'm fucked I like my odds on the spin Nicky Smokes can end up having shower sex Yeah We're just gonna call him and be like, no problem. Never guess what my boss just told me. We got to go get wet. It's boss's orders, babe.
Starting point is 02:47:14 I said I'm going to lose my job if I don't. All right, Kyle. Kyle. I got Kyle. I'm just worried it's going to be so damn cold. There you go, Sass. There we go. Are you guys here tomorrow?
Starting point is 02:47:30 Yeah. Yeah, of course. We've got to find a way to do this. Forever. I wish that would be the best Christmas present ever. What if you popped out of a box? Guys, me and Ron are going to tell you guys. Don't play with our hearts.
Starting point is 02:47:43 Are you high-fiving me because you're happy? Spin the wheel. Don't play with our hearts. Spin the wheel. Are you high-fiving me because you're happy? Spin the wheel. Don't play with our hearts. It hasn't gone close to me. I'm on the same side. I'm staying away from you. I hope you don't get wexed. We're about to play another night after this.
Starting point is 02:47:57 Oh, fuck. Taking shoes. It's me. Oh, the shoes are coming off Already? I hope Nicky Smokes gets swept He has to piss in front of his girl Is that what they're doing?
Starting point is 02:48:16 We're home with the shoes off How is Power move God damn it Brandon Thoughts? God damn it It's been me a lot lately It has And it's not God damn it Brandon It's been me a lot lately And it's not God damn it
Starting point is 02:48:29 Titus Get Nicky Smokes back on the line Hold on Hey babe I gotta piss my pants right now What if you hear the saw in the background oh wow this might be fire this might be fire do you think they do you think oh here we go, hey, you're on the wheel because you're on the yak in the box. And it's come down to wet wheel, and it's you versus Titus.
Starting point is 02:49:12 All right, all right. So if you lose, you have to. If you get swept, you have to piss your pants. If you lose, you have to hop in a shower. Hold on. Hold on. How do I flip this? How do I flip this?
Starting point is 02:49:24 Do the flip button. Where the fuck is the flip button? Got them right, right? No this? Do the flip button. Where the fuck is the flip button? Bottom right, right? No, it's a new phone. Where the fuck is the flip button? Maybe double tap or something? Is it share? I think top right.
Starting point is 02:49:37 Got it. All right. You see it? No, it's not rigged. So it's first to four. It doesn't have to get wet. You're blue. So if it lands on you four times, you're good.
Starting point is 02:49:51 All right, here we go. One-nothing Titus. There we go, Titus. I was more concerned with the piss. Yeah, he's got one, you have zero. You want four. It's best the piss. Yeah. He's got one. You have zero. You want four. It's best of seven. Okay.
Starting point is 02:50:10 1-1. No sweep. No piss in the pants. 2-1, Titus. You're down 2-1, Titus. 2-1. You're down 2-1. Is your girl right next to you? No, I just locked her out.
Starting point is 02:50:36 Oh! It didn't quit it. 3-1. There was never a girl, was there? Is she real? You guys are going to meet her tomorrow. No, we're not. I hope we can go. No, we're not.
Starting point is 02:50:46 I hope we can go. Bring her to the party. There's no. Bring her to the party. No. Oh! Go get wet. Let's go.
Starting point is 02:50:58 Go walk in your shower right now, fully clothed. On FaceTime? Yes. Hey, Kat, screen record. All right. Good call. Good call. Good call. He peeing on himself?
Starting point is 02:51:16 What? Strong-ass water pressure. No, you can't let it warm up. He's got to get in fully clothed. There he goes. Let me get a towel. Damn, Magnum condoms. Wow.
Starting point is 02:51:37 All right, here I go. Okay, here he goes. Oh, yeah, he's doing it. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's good. What a legend Look at him What a guy Yeah get wet
Starting point is 02:51:50 He's down for the cause Good job Nicky Alright boys Alright see ya Oh that was the best Better him than any of us You know Yeah
Starting point is 02:51:59 He did I screen recorded it Yeah He was very casual About it Yeah he'll do anything I said There was never a girl Never a girl He did already. I screen recorded it, yeah. He was very casual about it. Yeah, he'll do anything, I said. There was never a girl. Never a girl.
Starting point is 02:52:09 He was too casual about leaving. Not a chance. I locked her out. Wasn't even close. Right when he said, I'm not fucking, I was like, oh, she's not real. He was not in a hurry to get out of that box. She's real, he's fucking. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:52:21 He can't not. All right. All right, Seth. All right, man. All right. See you, Seth. See you, dude. See you, man. See can't not. All right. All right, Sass. All right, man. All right. See you, Sass. See you, dude. See you, man.
Starting point is 02:52:29 See you, bro. He's a good kid. Great guy. Good kid. What should we do with this jacket for real? Should we have it on fire? Should we have it on the solo stuff? When he comes back in, it's just blazing.
Starting point is 02:52:41 Burning. Can we turn that on? I don't know. Sass's. It's S that on? I don't know. Sass is... It's sass is. That was really fun. We gotta take a group picture. Yes. Yeah. Let's take a group picture. Where'd sass go? Pee. Peeing. Okay. This was so
Starting point is 02:52:56 much fun. That was a great time. Sorry I got a little drunk. Anyone who wants to... I told Jersey Jerry that we would go check in on him at Dairy After Dark. He tweeted that he's going to fire Lucas. Oh, my God. This is him right now.
Starting point is 02:53:11 How does, I thought those were one size fits all. Oh, my God. What is that? Is it Spanish? It's so small. Oh, my God. What is that? It's so small. I guess the few that were right in a row. I'm holding my own pop Oh, we should go put a bow strap on there. Yes. Oh Mousetrap oh my god! Oh my god!
Starting point is 02:53:47 Oh shit. Oh this is so fucking good. Go quiet, go quiet. No, no, I think- It'd be funny if you do it. No, but like, you have to go talk and distract him. No, no, no, you go just put it right in there. Fuck!
Starting point is 02:53:57 I know this one too. Put it on there, Mooch. Make sure Ryan's- Oh my god! On board. No, he's fine. You won't tell? No.
Starting point is 02:54:07 I noticed one. I'm going to guess it wrong, but it's not a Mike and Ike. This is incredible. Oh, my God. It's not a gumdrop. You just got to see him just snap his finger. I just don't know what the... Gumballs?
Starting point is 02:54:33 He's guessing gumballs for dots? I can't wait to see, boo. Oh, no. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck, fuck. Oh, no, he sees him coming. Dots. We got dots.
Starting point is 02:54:43 Got dots. Get to roll. Oh. No, wait. Oh, hold on he sees him coming. Dots. We got dots. Got dots. Get to roll. Spin the wheel. No, wait. Oh, hold on, Mook. You can go back. Yeah, wait.
Starting point is 02:54:55 Wait. What's he spinning? That was a good snack. He's guessing foods. I should have got that one right. What's the wheel? You have to fight a banana with the peel. Oh, you got to wait for the next thing. What am I missing?
Starting point is 02:55:11 What happened? We're trying to put a mousetrap under Jerry. Oh, okay. Because he puts a blindfold on. What's he doing? What is Mook doing? I don't know. That was very...
Starting point is 02:55:22 Mook looks like someone has a sniper aimed at his head. Is he holding the... Oh, no. Wait, can we get the sound back? He has to eat a banana with the peel. Yeah, Mook should just watch it there. You want me to fuck with the chat? Oh, give him Jerry.
Starting point is 02:55:42 Oh, no, Jerry! Oh, Jerry. How is that fucking... What the fuck is happening? Oh, get him, get him, Jer. Oh, no, Jerry! Oh, Jer. Oh, no. How was that fucking with the chat? What the fuck is happening? How was that? Oh, my God. What is he doing? Oh, my God.
Starting point is 02:55:53 What the fuck was that? How was that fucking with the chat? Got him. You're watching something gay. Oh, Jer. He's still going. He's still. Jer.
Starting point is 02:56:03 Jer. Jer, quit, Jer. Don't get us banned. Don't get us banned. All right. Jerry, stop. Jerry. Jerry, quit, Jerry. Don't get us banned. Don't get us banned. All right. Don't get us banned? Who's he talking to? Can I rip this piece off of you guys?
Starting point is 02:56:13 All right, no, no. Relax, relax. I'm going to eat this. I can't believe you guys got me banned. I don't trust him. What is Mook doing? He's waiting. He's supposed to put a mousetrap.
Starting point is 02:56:23 He's waiting for him to put a blindfold on. Chat like that. It's a rainbow in the chat. What is mook doing? He's waiting to put a mousetrap away from put a blindfold on chat like That's funny date, but they gay JJ. Oh, there's 12,000 people watch project. Oh, yeah, I mean look at that That's fucking gross. I think Will Levis eats his bananas like that. YouTube said stop. YouTube said stop. I would watch this.
Starting point is 02:56:59 I could see why this popped up. People watching this. Oh, they're so much fun. Is he wearing a shock collar? Looks like it yeah Like this is gonna be part of the Oh, I thought I thought you I thought YouTube reached out Already Jerry Jerry Jerry what just talk about what you're doing on the stream right now oh okay so if you're just joining the stream blind snack challenge what time does it start
Starting point is 02:57:33 i don't know how many minutes so far anyway we're doing 50 of them 40 snacks 10 soft drinks um or 10 drinks in general whatever uh. Multiple challenges on the wheel. We already had 10 punishments so far. There's two more punishments left. I think one of them is a shock collar. It's on your neck. Yeah, I mean, it's pretty simple. It's pretty straightforward.
Starting point is 02:57:58 If you're just joining, you have to subscribe. No, no, no, no, no. Listen, you just have to subscribe. It's that simple. Just subscribe, get over with, like the stream. We have to get more resources for this show. We have to be able to blow this show up. We're doing a good job. We're getting a lot of subscribers.
Starting point is 02:58:20 We're not getting as many likes. We need to push this up. Subscribe, like, comment, share All that stuff Go follow me if you're not following me On social media Go follow Jerry After Dark On all social media platforms
Starting point is 02:58:35 Twitter, TikTok All that type of stuff This is going to be great The banana sucked but it wasn't terrible You know what I mean? It was alright. Ha ha ha! Go, Lucas. No, you gotta wait for it to put the table out.
Starting point is 02:58:51 Wait, show us the other... yeah. Oh my god. How many people watching, Lucas? Uh, 12,000. Let's go! Come on! Get out of the way, movie. Good? 12,000. Let's go! Come on! Get out of the way and move. Good? Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 02:59:26 Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Yes! Oh my god! Oh, I got moot! Oh my god! I got moot! Holy shit!
Starting point is 02:59:42 I got moot! I'm crying! Oh my god! Oh my god! Holy shit! Come on, Lucas, dude! Come on, Lucas, dude! You shocked me after that fucking shit! You shocked me after that fucking shit!
Starting point is 02:59:58 He shocked him. Kill-shocking him. That was... Play it again. I want to watch it again. His finger went directly onto it. That's so good. That's so good.
Starting point is 03:00:12 That goes as a win, by the way. Oh, my God. That was so fucking... That couldn't have been more perfect. Oh, my God. They can't even see what I'm putting there I wanna watch it again! I wanna watch it again! That's so perfect! Holy shit! AHHHHH!
Starting point is 03:00:50 Holy fuck! Stop! Dude, that happening out of the blue must be fucking insane. That'd be horrifying. He was thinking he was gonna feel Fritos. Torture, dude. I got mooched! Oh my god. He was gonna feel free to torture
Starting point is 03:01:25 It was right I can't believe how well that worked. I want to watch it again. I need to watch it again. One more time. One more time. I didn't even realize that happened. I had no idea you got shocked. What the fuck is this? Why is he getting shocked? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Holy fuck. I'm gonna cry.
Starting point is 03:01:51 I felt like I was on an FBI mission right there. That was amazing. That was unbelievable. He saw me with, I had the mousetrap in my hand too. Right when he took his blindfold off. Oh, that was so perfect. Holy shit. I gotta watch so let's watch this I want to watch this mousetrap and then I got it I got it how did I I missed that
Starting point is 03:02:12 completely he starts flailing such a funny fucking like 30 seconds Luke you put it how many people watching Lucas Ryan's an OG, dude. He was for the cause. Good? Good? I'm going to fuck! Fuck! The shock. I'm going to see the shock. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:02:41 You hear the beep. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, I got moot. Not the first guy to say that. I got moot. Oh, fuck. Get the fucking shit out of me. Come on, Lucas. Oh! AHH! AHH! Can we see the shot?
Starting point is 03:03:31 I gotta see the shot one more time. Get this fucking shit off me. The whole thing one more time, please. I got mooked. I got mooked. I got mooked. You hear the beep? So delayed.
Starting point is 03:03:43 Here, let's go to the shot. He's so happy. You hear the beat? So delayed. Here, let's go to the shock. He's so happy. So happy. Oh, I got mooked! I got mooked! I got moot. I got moot. Oh, fuck. Get this fucking shit off.
Starting point is 03:04:16 Oh, fuck. Come on, Lucas, dude. Oh, man, what a show. Oh, fuck. All right, well, thank you to everyone. Yeah. We. All right. Well, thank you to everyone. Yeah. We love you all. Well, let's all go.
Starting point is 03:04:30 Let's take a picture. Let's go all wish Jerry a Merry Christmas. That was fucking awesome. Thank you, everyone. Please subscribe. We love you all. Ronan Sass. We love you guys. Thank you for having us.
Starting point is 03:04:43 Love you guys. Merry Christmas. Just like the ones I used to know. May your days beases be white. Amen. Thank you. It's the act. It's the act. Get your straws, yeah, silence, hey, for a while. It's the act.
Starting point is 03:06:16 It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop. We're doing Yankees love. It's the act. It's the act It's the act Merry Christmas. Happy New Year, guys. We love you.
Starting point is 03:06:40 We'll see you on January 2nd. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys.

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