The Yak - The ANUS Boys Lose Another Advertiser But Gain A Couple A-Listers | The Yak 11-22-21
Episode Date: November 23, 2021BWalk laying lowwwwwYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the act. It's the act.
It's the act.
Yeah, it's time to talk shop and do a Yankees pop.
It's the act.
It's the act.
KB slept over in my apartment this weekend.
Yeah, what the fuck?
I did.
KB slept over this weekend.
Oh, damn.
Nice hat round.
It was amazing.
It was fire, right? I haven't seen those in person. It was fire. Nice hat, bro. It was amazing. It was fire, right?
I haven't seen those in person.
It was fire.
The hat or the sleepover?
It's the act. I thought we were going to have a morning get-together, the camaraderie after a night out.
Yeah, you lingered.
You were fake sleeping.
I wasn't fake sleeping.
It was noon, and I know you're a grinder.
You were fake sleeping in your bed, so I was like, I'm just going to leave. I was not fake sleeping. I wasn't fake sleeping. It was noon, and I know you're a grinder. You were fake sleeping in your bed,
so I was like, I'm just going to leave. I was not fake sleeping.
I really wanted to have a table sit-down.
We could have had a table sit-down, but I was
cripplingly hungover. I wasn't fake sleeping.
I wasn't fake sleeping at all.
We moved it up.
My worst hangover is I can't sleep. Really?
Yeah. When I'm super hungover,
I wake up at like 6 a.m.
The hangover wakes you up.
Yeah. Did you go through puberty hungover, I wake up at like 6 a.m. Yeah, the hangover wakes you up. Yeah.
Did you go through puberty?
You look like a different man.
You look like a whole different man with the mustache and the ankles.
I was brushing my teeth the other day, and I found some beard dye in our bathroom.
You guys were playing beard dye?
That's what's up.
Quick game of beard dye?
Damn, it looks good, though.
Thanks.
Ankles, though though A lot of ankles
Boys can we take a look
At Owen's ankles
Cause those things are
There you go
Oh yeah
And uh
Good work CJ
And Nick
Nick's in this bitch
What shirt are you wearing
Keep going
Really
Yeah
What shirt are you wearing You're more really? yeah what shirt are you wearing?
you're more of a model
uh me?
I'm just wearing
the class
uh the yak
uh
what's this a play on?
NWO?
NWO
is that
what with attitude?
yeah that's something
with
something
uh
and so
for the viewers
it's a 2X
so if you're
you know
like me big no you have to's a 2X So if you're you know Like me
Big
No you have to wear a 2X
And like imagine what the 2X size is
So size up four fold
I think is the
That's what you have to do
That's the bar store difference
I am feeling this motherfucker out aren't I
You are bro
You're feeling that shit out like a fucking form bro
You're feeling that shit out like the census bro
Rowan ask me what I did this weekend
I know you chilled What'd you do the census, bro. Rowan, ask me what I did this weekend.
I know you chilled. What'd you do this weekend?
I was bowling, Rowan.
What? You've been bowling?
Yeah, a little bit. I was. I don't even think you bowled once.
I swear to God, I bowled.
You bowled a 300.
That's when I land around the house and watch my favorite
Gerard Butler film.
Bowled a 300 300 What was the occasion for the bull?
I realized
It was a Super Bowl
November already
And I just decided
You know what?
I got a bull
Late November
Much less
Not just regular November
What is this seafaring bastard?
This fucking fisherman
Bro, what the fuck is he doing? He's the CEO of Deadshot Why'd you peg him like that? Not just regular nomad. What is this seafaring bastard? This fucking fisherman, bro.
What the fuck is he doing?
He's the CEO of Dat Chat.
Why'd you peg him like that?
Because he looks like he's extra in the life aquatic.
Yeah, he does.
Not him.
That guy's an extra on yellow stuff.
Here we go.
Bang.
This guy's about to break the fourth wall and tell us a hurricane's about to hit.
Yeah, he is.
This longshore man.
He's doing it.
It's like William Defoe
in The Lighthouse.
Bro, I got bad news for you, bro.
It's Willem, bro.
It's Willem.
It's not William, bro.
I always mess that up.
Your whole life.
It's actually Will.i.am Defoe.
Boom, boom, pow.
But why were you
bowling so hard Nick
That's like
I know
That's a fucking
Nick wasn't bullying
He was playing chess
Against himself
I did actually ask Nick
What he's been up to
Recently
And I thought that
This was gonna stay
Off air forever
But it seems as if
You've just been
Doxed by KB
You've been playing
Chess against yourself
Is that not bullying
If that's not bullying
Then
That's like
eastern block bowling yeah it is that's hobby bowling that's a whole different type of bowling
yeah what uh why have you been doing that why are you playing fucking uh chess against yourself
because i haven't been playing against myself i haven't i haven't been playing worse he's been
like watching like the top games of all time
And reenacting the moves
How do you get into that?
That's true
I didn't have anything else to do
You had everything else to do
We gave him options
You could have done anything under the sun
I did that for hours and hours and hours
Damn, what itch does it scratch in you?
What makes you want to do that?
I think, honestly I want to get walked in on doing it.
I just want to get caught.
He does.
You just order delivery and leave the door unlocked?
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Don't mind me.
I'm just being an intellectual.
I push up my glasses.
We're just recreating some Bobby Fisher.
Who even are other chess players?
I'm a big Magnus Carlsen guy
That's the only one I know
Magnus Carlsen, fuck
What's his move?
What's his move?
Flip the board
He flips the board
He just gets pissed
You think you're gonna go to some parks?
Play out in public?
No, no
I don't wanna
I like doing it alone
Chess, people don't get
One player game.
Yeah.
You play on your computer?
No.
You play... I have a board.
Is it one of the boards where it tells you where the opponent is moving the piece?
What?
No, there's boards where you can play against yourself.
No technology.
It's just wood.
You have a pocket board, right?
A checkbook board, yeah.
So how do you play against yourself?
You could play against yourself.
Somebody has to win.
That's right.
Move, move, move, move,
until someone wins. Nah, it could be a stalemate.
Can it? Yeah.
That sucks. That's the worst thing about chess,
is that like a lot of... Or how often is a stalemate
Well, if you're playing yourself, that's like
the Winklevoss twins said if they rode the other
way, they would just not move, because
there are genetic mutations, and you're playing yourself.
Holy fuck. So wouldn't it be a stalemate
every time you play it?
Goddamn. Holy fuck. Where you could're playing yourself. Holy fuck. So wouldn't it be a stalemate every time you play it? Goddamn.
Holy fuck.
Where you could never beat yourself.
Yeah.
It's impossible for you to beat yourself.
Oh, no.
Try it.
Brother.
Try it one time.
Yeah, I know.
It's possible to beat yourself.
Nick, did you play when the Botet sisters were here?
Yeah.
How'd that go?
They bodied me.
Who?
The Botet sisters.
They're like high-level chess players
that Twitch stream. TJ,
are you a chess man?
No, I'm a Twitch man. No, they're
very attractive. Oh, for real?
Yeah.
In what way? What's their best asset?
They're good at chess.
Chess. They're chests.
They're chests.
They're chests. They got incredible chests.
Damn.
I'm jealous. I would love to dip into
some intellectual shit.
It's not intellectual. It's pseudo-intellectual.
I'm doing it, I think, just so
somebody else brings it up.
I don't know what type of openings you like.
No, you've pretty much...
It's pretty much perfect.
Knight towards center, then you click the clock,
because if we run out of time, we lose the game.
The one playing with Frank was like the highest level
I think a female chess player can get to right now.
What?
What do you mean playing with Frank?
Wait, are they going every other move?
Yeah.
So you're saying the male chess players can get a better score?
Yeah, it was four different classifications.
What is the difference?
What is the disparity in skill between a man and a female?
What advantage do the men have?
They play with heavier pieces.
Okay.
They play from farther away.
Yeah.
They play farther from the board.
Fuck. But genetically, there's no physical advantage. Yeah My father from the board Fuck
But genetically
What
There's no like
Physical advantage
What is the advantage
That men have
I think they're just
Playing chess wise
I don't know
Why isn't it co-ed
The patriarchy
Chess is essentially war right
Okay
Look at Frank
It's mind games though
Frank is fitted
Frank is fitted
Oh my god Look at those jeans They fit tight Those are slim fits He's got a It's also mind games, though. Frank is fitted. Frank is fitted. Oh, my God.
Look at those jeans.
They fit tight.
Those are slim fits.
He brought Abe Miranda in.
Oh, here come the boys.
Here come the two legends.
Legends.
Brando.
Prez.
You're shipped out for the boys.
All right.
No, no, no.
You say that you do this every time.
Respect.
The cat.
The utmost respect. What's up, brother? Hey, boys. You say that you do this every time. Big cat. The utmost respect.
What's up, brother?
Hey, boys.
What's up?
Just trying to fit every show in one day.
Sass, what's up?
Is this beanie a new thing?
Nah.
Yeah, it is.
I just don't want to get a haircut, and it's making my life a lot easier.
Damn, dude.
He's a beanie baby, bro.
He fucking looks good in a beanie.
Yeah, TY, thank you for wearing that.
It's a good look.
What's up, boys?
Is Sass going with a little bit of makeup?
Am I?
Do I still have a little glow of makeup around my face?
No, she really moisted me up.
What were you guys doing?
We were shooting a...
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, you do.
Goddamn.
Do you have lip color on
Take this shit off bro
This shit
My eyes are
Oh man
Yeah my eyes are heavy right now
Hey come on bro
I can't wait to see Dibby like this
Bro Prime's gonna roast me bro
What did you guys do
She tried to give me
Some lip gloss too
She was like
Your lips are very dry
Begging you to answer
What you guys did
That chat
That chat ad
It was a that chat ad
The presenting sponsor of Son of a Boy Dad
and Macro Dosing and Chicks in the Office
and what else?
BFFs and Planbury.
Could you wipe your butt with that?
To completion.
I heard the Anus Boys.
Another one bites the dust, huh?
We lost something?
What the hell you mean?
For all of us.
What?
Is that not true?
What are you fucking talking about?
Lost another advertiser?
No.
I heard that.
I heard that.
I heard that there's a...
Yeah, I heard that.
Another one bites the dust.
What are you talking...
Why come?
Wait, why didn't we find out about this?
Whenever we want to end an advertiser... Whenever we want to end an advertiser relationship, just give it to the anus boys.
We, Nick and I, exclusively lost an ad for the yak.
No, no, not the yak.
For everyone else.
Yeah, no, no.
Who was it?
All the podcast network.
We should be fired.
Yeah, what the hell?
I'm not even joking.
We should have been reprimanded in some way. Can I say? Yeah.
Let's not say a specific advertiser, but
Nick Owen
I believe I talked to KB as well, but
Nick, I definitely talked with you about it a week or so
ago. I said if you don't download this
I said I'd kill myself if I didn't have this.
Is that what you said? Which is partially
like a mental health thing.
Well, yeah, it was the mental health app
that we have a different one every week.
Wait, really?
You got it canceled for all of us.
They had a reading part of my take
where it told us to stop immediately,
so I gave color to it.
And that is likely the reason.
Not officially, but I'm putting two and two.
None of us can get mental health.
Are we allowed to talk shit on them?
I'm not mad.
How much of a glowing...
I think it's funny.
That's a phrase.
You guys are like...
What did I do?
Outdoor cats that come in every now and then
and just rip the fucking place to shreds
and we're like, well, we got to fix this,
but we love these cats.
That wasn't the most complimentary.
But it was spot on.
I'm sorry.
I didn't say that.
I don't care.
No, I do not care.
No, it's cool.
I won't be able to afford Thanksgiving dinner.
Right.
Right.
It's totally fine.
How do you think I feel?
It's my fault.
Yeah, but you'll be eating a fat turkey.
Yeah, you don't feel that bad.
You're probably going to do it to the next advertiser.
You're going to be having stuffing galore.
What?
Are we not allowed to talk bad about the advertiser?
No, no, no, no.
I think in the ads that they pay for, you should just play ball.
You should just, yeah.
It was a good segue.
Like, we had a meeting.
You played the foreplay.
You played Riggsie going seamlessly into an ad.
And then now I try to do it.
Smartless is a podcast with Jason Bateman and Will Arnett.
Yeah, we have an ad for another podcast in our fucking podcast.
Do you actually?
Yes, we had an ad for Smartless.
I thought that was a joke.
It said, go listen to Smartless.
Right now.
And the best part about it is that it's ad-free. We had an ad in our podcast
for another comedy podcast
highlighting that it's ad-free.
But do you think maybe it's
because of what you've done
to advertisers that you've gotten that?
Well, it's tricky when you advertise a dude wipe
and a bidet in the same ad when you would never
need both.
How much poop do you think I have in my box?
You're just, you're too logical. A man has a finite amount I have in my butt? You're too
logical. A man has a finite amount
of poop. Also, if you're bidetting and
dude wiping, you're going to be left with a dry ass.
It's going to overcorrect.
It's okay to
sometimes check
your ego at the door and be like,
I'm just going to read this out. I've done it many times.
Yeah.
It's okay to be a shill.
You're right.
Tass was just shilling so hard.
He was in fucking makeup.
Our advertisers love our,
our listeners love our ads.
And I actually believe we said the exact same thing
about the mental health app.
Didn't we?
But the way that you say it,
it's cute.
It's like Rasheed Wallace.
Like the reputation precedes itself.
You get a technical for the same thing someone else does.
That's Russ last night when he got a technical for the LeBron fight.
He's like, I got it because I'm Russ.
Yeah, right.
You got to give the technical to somebody.
Yeah, and his boys get ads canceled because of the anus boys.
Fine, if you need me to be a scapegoat, I'll do it.
I'll be a hero for us all.
In Nick's defense, they try and make it fun because they give them six ads for a 28-minute podcast.
That's the whole podcast.
They have to make it fun.
So just make the whole podcast ads.
Fair.
We've done that.
We have a series.
We have a series of just ads.
Yeah, we're the ad boys.
Yeah, you are the ad boys.
We have an hour-long ad.
I don't see anyone else doing a 30-minute ad video.
We're the biggest shills.
What are you guys doing for Cyber Monday?
Shopping network video, like a full-length one.
Nice.
Yeah, 30 minutes of ads.
You guys can do your 30-second ones.
No, no, no.
You guys are fun.
You guys are fun.
We'll go get in wardrobe for our ads and sell them.
Any sarcastic mocking of people who like Viva apparel?
Absolutely not
Absolutely not
Oh no
This isn't fun anymore
Buy these
For the record
The son of a boy dad hats are sick though
These son of a boy dad hats are fucking A1
Those are sick
Look at that hat
For the record I do not care
I went to Survivor Series last night.
Okay?
Okay.
And I was walking into Barclays.
What's up, Brandon?
I walked into Barclays Center, and there was a mom pushing a kid in a wheelchair, probably
about 16 years old, and the entire family, there was a third, had boy dad sweatshirts.
Whoa.
The entire family?
The entire family.
One had the maroon, and two had the green.
And I started to say something.
Do they buy them because...
I don't know.
Do they buy them from us or do they buy them from those stupid reply bots that are like,
you can get the t-shirt right here.
Redbubble.
I've done that before.
Yeah, you bought one Friday.
You brought it in Friday.
Did anybody see KB's t-shirt last Friday?
What was his t-shirt?
It had a bruised up Johnny Depp face on it.
What did it say?
I forget.
Is that justice for Johnny?
Yeah.
Male abuse exists?
I mean, it's facts.
Male abuse does exist.
Amber Heard,
what did she do to him?
Pooped in his bed?
Amongst other things.
She did?
Now, was she in
the new Avatar?
Maybe.
Is this a new Avatar?
It's been coming out
for six years.
Just to put a bow on it, though, you guys are funny enough that I do not care.
I think the juice is always worth it.
I mean, it's not a good thing.
It's not a good thing we do.
We lost that.
We're hurting others.
But I've said this before.
Every three or four months, I get an email from Dave or Erica being like,
what's KB and Nick's?
Why'd they say this?
And I'm like, because they're funny.
So they never even said that it was actually KB and Nick's fault?
We're just assuming it was?
No, they said that.
I thought Shay just said that they never said that.
Directly, it was their fault.
The head of the company called me.
It was like, I like you, Big Cat, but this Nick guy...
Well, since I can't use the app anymore, I guess I gotta follow up on my word.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true. That's true.
See you guys.
Brandon, how are you doing?
If Nick kills himself, can we get the ad back?
We'll get him to do it.
We'll get him to do it.
I'm good.
I'm good.
Today's Monday.
Get back in the car, Nick.
It's going to be a good holiday week.
I'm going to spend it with my family.
Went to Survivor Series last night Good times
Good seats
Second row, great seats
I feel like you were there, Bob was there
Fights was there, Troops was there
There were eight of us
Fights and his cousin
Robbie and his girlfriend, me and my daughter
And then behind us was Troops and Expressions
And they
They love that shit, right?
Expressions is the greatest wrestling fan I've ever met in my life.
Really?
He was singing every theme song, every word.
He knew every storyline.
He knew every storyline back to the 90s.
He's a much bigger wrestling fan than I am.
Wow.
And just watching him...
Give him the show.
Watching him enjoy...
Give him wrestling.
Well, I can't do that.
Why?
Well, I can't just give him...
He can do his own
if I was bigger
like if you were a bigger
boy dad than I was
I would give you
son of a boy dad
I have three sons
yeah
are you doing wrestling weekly
you actually have three sons
I have three sons
and a daughter yeah
where you been
I didn't know
I thought you had
I thought you only
I thought Tommy was the only
I have Tommy C and J
damn
yeah
yeah three sons and a daughter but big cat I'm doing fine I thought Tommy was the only player for some reason. I have Tommy, C, and J. Bam. Yeah.
Yeah, three sons and a daughter.
But big cat, I'm doing fine.
Good.
Nothing's out of the ordinary.
Good.
Everything's good.
What happened with you and Dave?
Dave was being pretty mean to you from what I gleaned.
Me and Dave had a difference of opinion on Saturday night.
I did some things that gambling etiquette says I shouldn't have done, and I apologize for it this morning vigorously.
And I'm not out of the doghouse by any stretch of the imagination.
They should make the gambling commandments
so people can know what things to violate and what not to violate.
Why haven't you done that, big cat?
I mean, I know it.
I broke it.
I was absolutely part of the problem on Saturday night.
I owned that through and through.
I had two issues Saturday night. One, I did the gambling etiquette, and then night. I owned that through and through. I had two issues Saturday night.
One, I did the gambling etiquette, and then two, I mouthed off to him.
You were mouthing off?
I mouthed off.
What were you mouthing off about?
Oh, I got mad that he told me to shut the fuck up.
Call me a dumb hick.
I told him to shut the fuck up.
You did?
Yeah.
You call him a dumb hick?
No, he just returned one of the two.
Yeah.
I didn't return the second one.
Shut that shit up, city boy.
No, no. Maybe you're taking, city boy. No, no.
Maybe you're taking this tweet out of context, Brandon.
Yeah, what?
Oh, another like just out of nowhere.
This could mean anything.
That could be about anybody.
That's too many likes.
Also, 6K is not that much for Dave.
Yeah, it's not that many.
You're good.
You should just watch it.
But if you scrolled a list of 6,000 people, it would go on and on, and I would feel like
it's never stopping.
I didn't scroll the likes.
That'd be psychotic.
Try to conceptualize
that amount of people
agreed with that.
I did scroll with
quote tweets though.
Did you?
Should we get a bunch
of grains of rice
and show them
how many 6,000 is?
Like go to Beacon Theater
and there's 3,000 people there.
Sell it out to one.
It just went from 28 to 20.
With people who hate you.
What happened to the quote tweet?
It went from 26.
It's still going up.
I don't know.
No, it went from 28 to 27 quote tweets.
Brandon, you think we can get you to ratio it?
You think we could get someone to like, you think we could get the amount of likes to lower?
How would you do that?
It's going up right now.
Oh, my God.
It's never been done.
Jesus Christ.
Some people can stop.
Oh, my God.
So can we reverse the likes?
Should we try to ratio it?
I think we should get a ratio.
If everybody unlikes this.
Please stop.
Please unlike it.
Sass, will you personally ratio it?
Let's get it down to 6,200.
No, I'm not.
If we can get 44 unlikes.
Oh, no.
All the quotes are going on.
This is the opposite of that.
I bet you that most recent quote tweet.
Let's see the most recent quote tweet.
Jesus Christ.
Look at it skyrocketing.
We'll play feud when it hits 15K.
Guy's a tool.
Rare scum noi.
Every Arkansas fan.
There, there.
It doesn't seem.
I think everyone has said this.
Oh, my God.
Oh, this is good.
And he's an Ole Miss fan.
Great to the club.
These are mostly Ole Miss fans.
Fire his ass.
That seems a lot.
I'm not getting fired, I don't think.
Hotty toddy.
You don't know.
You don't know.
I think I would have already happened.
You just keep this running in the background the whole time.
I do love the guys on Twitter that do take it out of their time to say fire him.
Oh, yeah.
I love that.
They're like, I hate this person so much I want them to lose their job.
Yeah.
I hate this person so much.
Oh, 36 seconds.
Jesus.
Uh oh.
Damn, that's pretty recent.
Whoops.
You sure it's not 38 hours?
That works so perfectly.
You were scrolling.
It just nestled right there in the middle.
Yep.
Oh, jeez.
Oh, there's so many ones.
Oh, boy.
All right.
That's fine.
Oh, man.
That's funny.
No, it's not that bad to have 6,000 people hate you.
Out of 2.7 million followers.
I think the majority of those people are in the New York City area.
Look, I'm even deleting it.
They'll never see you walking around.
I got my joke off.
I'm deleting it.
No, that's fine.
No, I don't hate you.
That was purely for the joke.
What was your back and forth with Dave since then?
Oh, no.
God damn it.
Oh, fuck.
What the fuck?
How did you get a haircut?
What the fuck?
How is this?
Now, look at that guy's at. That's not me. Sports Picks 96. No, fuck. What the fuck? How did you get a haircut? What the fuck? How is this? Now look at that guy's at.
That's not me.
Sports Picks 96.
No, the one below that.
Are we doing this?
Two minutes?
All right, I got to go do an ad.
Just an ad?
Nick, you want to?
Don't worry about this, brother.
Can you go take care of this for me?
You'll never do an ad again.
Make sure I don't have to do this ad.
Oh, jeez.
I'm not long for this job.
No, you are. Me and you both, brother. You're made, man. Thanks, jeez. I'm not long for this job. No, you are.
Me and you both, brother.
You're made, man.
Thanks, man.
You're made.
You're unfireable as long as you stay at your $30,000 a year salary.
You're a made guy?
Yeah, I guess I'm made.
Pussy Bond Pinsero was made, too.
What happened to him?
Like a bullet.
God damn it.
Several.
What season are you up to?
Oh, made men get whacked.
All the time.
Shit happens.
Just because somebody's made.
I'm still on season four.
You read the book yet?
No, but there's this blog called Sopranos Autopsy.
Some guy sent it to me, and it's fucking awesome.
Sopranos are what?
Autopsy.
Oh, got you.
Has anyone spoiled?
You just put that in the air.
No, I didn't.
It's no matter what I say.
I'm fine.
I was just curious because I just started.
If I say no, then people will.
What show did you start?
If I say yes, they'll feel.
Dexter?
You guys can tweet that.
Oh, yeah.
Spoiler.
That was annoying.
You just did that to Kyle.
People already know he's watching the show.
Yeah.
People have been cool.
People must respect me.
I was saying, I specifically said I didn't want to tell people why I was watching. No one else. I don been cool. People must respect me. I was specifically said
I didn't want to tell people
why I was watching
what I was watching
because I don't want them
to spoil it.
I can't do it,
but it's Yellowstone.
What's Yellowstone?
That's what I'm watching.
Oh, yeah.
Whatever.
People should just cloud the air
with fake spoilers.
I've been thinking
about meats lately.
What kind of meats?
We've been just
we're so pigeonholed.
We're chicken, pork, and beef.
Oh, from the ostrich.
There's other meats.
Horse meat.
My buddy made a squirrel stew last night.
Squirrel stew's delicious.
But duck and lamb, they should be heavy hitters.
They are.
They should be mainstream.
They are.
They're in every grocery store, though.
Lamb is.
Lamb is.
I think duck is, too, if you look hard enough.
Duck's there.
Boy, you're showing you're American right now. Frog, though. Lamb is. Lamb is. I think duck is, too, if you look hard enough. Duck's there. Bro, you're showing you're American right now.
Frog, no.
Frog and rabbit are amazing.
No, bro.
You're showing how American you are.
Venison is hit or miss.
Well, it's dry.
It's a dry meat.
Cornish game hens.
They're in every grocery store, too.
What about an Indian restaurant that's all like goat and lamb and all kinds of offbeat?
Beaver, yeah. That was a little gamey of off-beat. Beaver, yeah.
That was a little gamey.
Duck, pigeon.
That shit's around.
Pheasant.
What do they call pigeons?
Pigeon squab.
I don't know.
I think pigeon squab, right?
I've only seen it as, I've ordered it as pigeon.
Really?
I've never ordered pigeon.
I ordered it as like a fucking squab, right?
Is that what it's called?
Although in episode 14 of season one of the Cosby Show, he ordered pigeon. He didn't like it. Yeah? Was he trying to squab? Squab is right? Is that what it's called? Although in episode 14 of season one of The Cosby Show, he ordered a pigeon.
He didn't like it.
Yeah?
Was he trying to squab?
Squab is baby pigeon.
Squab's baby pigeon?
Under four weeks old.
Oh.
It's the veal of the bird.
How big is it?
There can't be much meat.
Wait, what is Cornish game hen?
That's a hen.
It's a chicken?
It's a smaller.
I think it's a young chicken.
It's not a young chicken.
It's a hen.
It's specifically grown to be smaller.
It's a different type of chicken. I don't think it's a hen. It's a hen. I don't think it's like a young chicken. It's not a young chicken. It's a hen. It's specifically grown to be smaller. It's a different type of chicken.
I don't think it's a hen.
It's a hen.
I don't think it's Cornish either.
You don't think it's Cornish?
What does that mean?
From Cornwall?
Yeah.
Nah.
And I don't think it's a game bird.
That's like a Philly cheesesteak.
You don't think they hunt it?
I think every word is a lie in Cornish game hen.
It's definitely a hen.
I think they're 0 for 3.
It's definitely a hen.
No.
Chilean sea bass is all a lie.
All those words are a lie.
Really?
It's not Chilean at all?
No, and it's not sea bass either.
It's a freshwater fish?
It's freshwater?
No, so I guess it's 66% of bass.
You're trying to get on your fact thing again, and I'm not sure you have a good fact here.
I know it's not bass.
I thought sea bass was one idea
together so maybe it's it's just c is the only true word so what is chilean sea bass what are
you trying to tell me it's a whole other fish that was like not popular and they needed a cool name
for like a bronzino bronzino is a bass bronzino is a european bass now i'm back on my fact shit
bitch get off my dick oh whoa i, Nick, you're in your head.
Yeah, you are.
You were just looking off.
You just had the thousand-yard gaze.
I did.
Yeah, you did.
You had the gaze.
Fuck.
Patagonian toothfish.
Did you check up on Cornish Gay Man?
Is it a...
Is it...
Let's check Cornish Gay Man.
I think it might be a chicken.
Guys, let me do this.
I gotta do this.
Wait, what?
A chicken is a chicken.
No, Nick.
No, don't. Let me do this. Please, I love Muggsy a chicken isn't a chicken. No, Nick. No, don't.
Please, I love Muggsy's. Don't do this.
Don't take Muggsy's from us.
They're the most comfortable men's jeans on the planet.
They're built with a propane.
Stretched denim. These jeans look
stylish but feel like you're wearing sweatpants.
That's true. One Muggsy customer
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don't. Is that in there? Yes.
These jeans are literally changing people's
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Good job. Tell them Nick sent
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Use promo code Nick.
It won't get you anything, but it sends a message.
Black Friday shoppers.
Yeah.
You know who else thought they had the best jeans?
Hitler.
Hitler and them, yeah.
Hitler and all them dudes.
Oh, fuck.
That's bad.
That's bad.
That's so bad.
Brandon, I already told these fellows, but KB slept over at my house on Friday.
Magnificent place.
Magnificent place.
Yeah, you said magnificent place.
It's so white.
I told him to say it.
It's so white.
How'd that come about?
We were out in the area.
We were bulling in the area.
No, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. You were bulling. You in the area. No, shut the fuck up.
You were bowling.
You can't just.
No, we were bowling.
You've never bowled in your life.
It was a bowling alley.
We were.
We were at Brooklyn Bowl.
Yeah, we were at Brooklyn Bowl.
Emo night.
It was emo night at Brooklyn Bowl.
It was sneaky goated.
It was Rona and Kyle both moshed.
I moshed. My genius. Rona ended up on the stage. I was still dirty from moshing. It was Rona and Kyle both moshed. I moshed.
My genius.
Rona ended up on the stage.
I was still dirty from moshing.
It was fun as hell.
It was.
We were moshing hard.
Did you stage dive?
No, we very well could have.
But we were just moshing, just fucking thrashing our arms, doing that thing where you punch
a woman in the face in the mosh pit.
Yeah.
Have you seen videos of when people do that?
That's all they do, yeah.
Just dudes intentionally seek missile out innocent women and hit them.
That shit's not cool.
Not cool at all.
Domestic violence happens to women too, Kyle.
Yeah.
Or you should be in the mosh pit stopping those people.
Stop!
That should be your goal every time you enter the pit.
You're hurting her!
Oh, man.
But, yeah.
Why don't you sleep over, Owen?
I didn't know that was an option.
Wait, there's stuffing here?
I would have loved to.
Yeah, contact Kim has.
So bring one of the trays in.
Dude, I was just eating it by the handful.
Me too.
I had an early Thanksgiving yesterday.
One of my several Thanksgivings that I'm going to celebrate this year.
And the shit was fucking goaded, bro.
Was it?
Sneaky goading, bro.
What's the sleeper item on your plate?
Oh, bro.
Come on, Owen.
You got another half hour.
Content machine, bro.
The fuck?
I like this.
There was this sweet potato thing with a crispy crust or something on the edge of it.
Yeah, sweet potato casserole. It was like a casserole with like a sweet potato. Marsh a crispy crust or something on the edge of it. Yeah, sweet potato casserole.
It was like a casserole with a sweet...
With marshmallows on top.
It wasn't marshmallows.
They could have, but oh my God.
Was it gummy bears?
No, it was like a crunchy brown sugar type of deal.
You're kidding me.
Breadcrumb brown sugar.
Oh my God, it was sneaky go, dude.
You're going to hollow out the roll and put everything in there.
For real?
That's the move.
The roll?
What kind of roll are you talking about?
The dinner roll.
Oh, you're getting little dinner rolls?
I had a crescent roll, so.
You can do that.
You can do that.
I would say croissant, but I ate French.
No, you didn't.
I don't speak their fucking language, bro.
I don't know Thanksgiving.
Chez Poots.
I almost gagged.
Oh, shit, bro.
Are you fucking speaking French right now? I don't know. Fuck, Chez Poots, bro almost gagged. Oh, shit, bro. Are you fucking speaking French right now?
I don't know.
Fuck, Che Poots, bro.
Shout out Gunz.
Oh, shout out Gunz.
Gunz is the one who...
Gunz had a big week.
With a Z?
The DJ.
What happened?
He was just all over the place doing those emo nights.
Where else was he at?
Asbury Park.
For real?
Stone Pony.
Are all emo nights hosted by the same person? I Pony Are all emo nights Hosted by the same person?
I think other cities
Have emo nights
I think there's one
In Philadelphia
I doubt that guns
Could be like Santa Claus
And just everywhere
I know they have them
In LA a lot
Guns just rise around
On a death cab for cutie
Pops up at every emo night
Rocks the stage
It's a great It's a great atmosphere Because like pops up at every emo night. Rocks the stage.
It's a great atmosphere because he gets the pop
of being a performer.
He just gets to dance around on stage
and none of the songs are his
and he doesn't actually have to perform
and people just go fucking crazy for him.
It's kind of the dream.
Sounds like the Brianna Chicken Fry dropout tour.
What does she do?
She mouths a song every week.
She gets crazy on stage. Sounds like the Brianna Chicken Fry dropout tour. What does she do? She mouths a song every week. She mouths songs.
She gets crazy on stage.
She mouths a song in a video.
And, yeah, it's fucking sick.
I don't know why we don't do some shit like that.
Mouth a song at several different locations.
I am so floored Barstool hasn't done a lip sync battle.
It's because you have to get the rights to the songs.
I think that's the only reason. That would be too expensive. If they could do a lip sync battle of It's because you have to get the rights to the songs. I think that's the only reason.
That'd be too expensive.
Ah.
If they could do a lip sync battle of like APM non-copyright songs.
Royalty-free lip sync battle.
Yeah, it was so much better than a concert because every song was a hit.
I talked about it.
The concert should be like, or festival should just be like
dozens of performers just playing their top song.
Their top two or three songs.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah, that's way better.
The worst is when you go to a concert
and they play some new shit.
I actually, yeah, hate it.
Or a song that hasn't even come out yet.
No, that's like what...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they always act like
everyone's going to be so hyped
to hear their new shit.
We don't know the words.
We don't even know what the song is.
I don't even know the rhythm to dance to, bro.
The best case scenario
is you're like, wow, this is pretty good.
That's all you can say.
That is the absolute best case scenario.
Che looks like you're about to have a concert take.
No one's ever bopped the first time they heard a song.
Nobody's ever bopped.
If it's your first listen.
The second time, maybe.
What was your first concert?
Have you ever heard a song for the first time and bopped throughout?
No way.
I guess.
Wasn't it a Maggie Rogers song?
No.
I was walking through wasted waters.
Usually when I hear a song for the first time,
it doesn't even register to me that I like it yet until later in the day.
That's what I'm saying.
Kyle, Lorde, Tennis Court, Flume Remix.
Flume Remix.
Oh, well, a remix.
If you could fucking put a sweet uh right yeah that's
because we already knew tennis court the first time i've ever heard since you've been gone by
kelly clarkson i bought you don't know that i remember i remember exactly i was yes i just
bought serious radio for the first time and they introduced it saying this song this song smokes
and i'm like oh well i'm listening to it that's what he said i remember him very specifically
saying this song smokes and i listened to it like, yeah, it's pretty fucking good.
This does smoke.
And I was into it the whole time.
I remember vividly.
I was in my Ford Explorer 2001.
I can't breathe for the first time.
I'm so moving on.
What did she even say there?
I'm some of it all.
I'm still moving on.
I'm still moving on.
Oh, really?
I'm still moving on.
I thought it was so moving on.
Yeah, yeah. I'm so moving on. Still moving on makes more sense. Still moving on. Than so moving on. I'm so moving on. Oh, really? I'm still moving on. I thought it was so moving on. I'm so moving on.
Still moving on makes more sense.
Still moving on.
I think it's so moving on.
I'm so moving on.
It's not how humans speak.
It doesn't change the set.
The song smokes.
Oh, yeah, they do with the...
I think it's still...
It might be still.
I'm going to have to look at it.
Now I get what I want.
I'm so moving on. Oh, that sucks. I get what I want. I'm so moving on.
Oh, that sucks.
I'm sorry, Brandon.
It's okay, Owen.
Brandon's off and right.
Mm-hmm.
He is.
Sash, are you a little...
You had your chance.
You blew it.
Out of sight.
Out of mind.
Sash, are you sad today?
No, I'm just really tired.
I like your look today, Sass.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
That's his new wave.
That's the winter.
That's the new Sass?
My winter apparel.
Winter Sass.
Dude, I never got the shit to my apartment, though, bro.
I'll reach out to our boy.
Somebody sent us some vintage gear, and some of it was Philly's gear, and Sass thinks that
all the Philly shit was actually supposed to be for him.
He told me he was sending two separate packages.
This one was addressed to me.
It said Harry Sasquatch on it.
Nowhere did it say anything about Roan.
Was there multiple Philly things or just one?
There was one Philly sweatshirt and an Eagles hat.
Where was it sent to?
The office.
And then I said, where did you send Roan's to?
And he said his home address. He. He said, like, his apartment.
Well, that's fair. You gave this guy your apartment
address? Yeah.
KB has it. Why can't that guy have it?
It's fair. We live on the same street name.
Yes.
AIDS Victim Road.
AIDS Victim Plaza.
People with AIDS Plaza.
I live in the Brooklyn people with AIDS
Plaza, and he lives in the Manhattan people with AIDS Plaza.
Yeah.
Just different people with AIDS.
Different plazas all together.
I was scoping apartments in your neighborhood.
Come.
Couldn't live there even if you double-bombed it.
You trying to kill somebody there?
We are so far off.
Yeah.
I don't think that's true.
I bet it is.
It is. I think that you'd be shocked. I don't think that's true. I bet it is.
I think that you'd be shocked.
I wouldn't.
We're basically living on the poverty line right now. I was looking at apartments.
There's no options.
We're going to have to move to Long Island, probably.
Ron Conkama?
You put in West Village, and it's just a fart sound effect.
No, you put in West Village, and East Village, and there's one apartment available. We have several people here that live in West Village, and it's just like a fart sound effect. No, you put in West Village, Enies Village, and there's one apartment available.
We have several people here that live in West Village.
Big T, Gooch.
You're going to have to move into Glennie's parents' house.
Probably.
With Glennie.
You're going to all have to live in Glennie's parents' house.
The lowest option for rent in West Village was double what I'm able to pay.
Literally.
I was like, let me try this.
Just see if there's anything.
Nothing.
And then I doubled it and there was still nothing.
How much stand-up would you have to do?
A lot.
Yeah?
Yeah.
24 hours a day.
Yeah, pretty much.
Just always do a stand-up.
I was looking, though.
If the whole yak moved to Chattanooga, we could get a three-floor massive mansion for like $175 a month each.
That'd be fucking awesome.
Why though?
What would you do?
What would you do?
Go to Sarguni's and go play golf.
Sarguni's?
Dude, it's right on the river.
So that's like a week's worth of things.
I can picture Chattanooga having those pedal bars.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We could watch the Lookouts play every night in the summer.
Those suck.
We're not going to Chattanooga.
Where do you want to go?
We're not going to Chattanooga.
Why the fuck not?
Just give me a better option.
How about Nice?
Charleston, South Carolina?
I'd go Charleston.
My sister would go to Charleston.
Charleston works.
What about Pakistan?
I heard Pakistan's beautiful.
I follow a TikTok that's called Pakistan is beautiful.
The water's very clear.
It's sick.
Go follow Pakistan is beautiful. The water is very clear. It's sick. Go follow Pakistan is Beautiful.
It really makes you.
Have you ever seen there's someone who just makes food like in the mountains of Pakistan?
It's incredible.
It's incredible.
Yeah.
It's like a big walk.
He makes it on a walk.
He's always like flipping the shit over.
Yeah.
It always looks really good.
There's a lot of those guys in the woods making food.
Rocks.
It's cool to look at.
Yeah.
Guys making shit in a walk
Yeah
I need a fucking walk
Makes you wonder though
Like what they're doing
Yeah
Like what kind of pedophile
Shit sent them to the woods
Yeah exactly
They're running
They're running from something
Yeah
Taxes most likely
Pedophile is just like
The veal of pussy
Yeah they
Oh
Jesus
Squab
Yeah
Squab Yeah Squab
Is what that's called
Yeah they
There's
I'm always curious
When I see the
You're always curious
When you see what
You see people waking up
And making their coffee
In the middle of nowhere
In the mountains
Like it looks nice
But like
That's why they're on their phone
All the time
Taking videos of it
Cause they're bored They're bored as fuck.
They're bored as fuck.
Yeah.
It's so refreshing out here.
Yeah.
They don't...
Yeah.
It does look really nice.
Do you think?
Yeah.
Why?
Yes.
Why?
I would get old for me in two hours.
Yes.
30 minutes.
You look around,
you take in the aesthetics and the scenery,
and then you're bored.
Yeah. The walk back from a long hike.
You don't hear noise.
All the noises are pleasant.
All the smells are pleasant.
All the sights are pleasant.
Everything's pleasant.
Nothing is unpleasant.
I saw a bear chasing a guy on a bicycle yesterday through the wilderness.
That shit looked terrifying.
That was set up.
I'm sure that was set up.
Set up?
Yeah, that was set up.
How?
I'd rather get chased by a bear than get sap on my hands, though.
You'll get sap on your hands?
That's terrible.
That sucks.
Or get a burr.
You ever get a burr?
Yes.
You ever sit on a burr and you just have a burr in your elbow?
You ever eat some venison that was a little too sinewy?
Yeah, sinewy venison.
None of you have had a burr in the last five or ten years.
You don't think I've had a burr?
I thought I was just sitting on a regular smooth tuffet, and guess what?
Burr.
He's not in a band.
That's just his backpack.
I'm going to get one of those.
That would be so funny.
Just your laptop in there.
Just bouncing around.
She's got a violin.
What's he got?
He's got an upright bass.
Or a cello.
Play something for his daddy.
I don't think it's tall enough for a cello.
It's not tall enough for a cello.
What is that?
What's the in-between? It's not tall enough for a cello. What is that? What's the in-between?
It's not tall enough for an upright bass either.
Oh, what's the Spanish guitar?
Well, upright bass, don't they have those long stands?
They're with the two, like, do you think this guy's got a fucking lute?
It's not a lute.
Is that what it's called?
It's definitely a cello.
No, it's not a cello.
What are they doing here?
That mask covered his, I think he's got a beard, and he got a mask that covers the beard, too.
Wait, did they just drop it?
It's a bomb.
They dropped it off.
That is a bomb. It'll work every time. beard, and he got a mask that covers the beard, too. Wait, did they just drop it? It's a bomb. They dropped it off. That is a bomb.
It'll work every time.
You, check that out.
Security guy.
Security.
Get to the bottom of that bomb.
Sniff that shit.
That's why we need a dog in here.
What's up, boys?
What is all that shit?
What is that?
Who are those guys?
Are those guns?
Oh, yeah.
One time there was a school shooting threat at my school, and they made all the band kids
come and have them check their cases
yeah
it's the perfect
how severe was the threat
I don't know
was it cause they were
like most likely
to be holding something
in the case
or because like
those are the profile
of people who
I think it had something
I think they tried
to play it off
like it was the case
but I think it was
more the profile
like these kids are freaks
yeah these kids are weird
these kids are depressed
and already social outcasts
they're on the verge if you'recasts. They're on the verge.
If you're in a band, you are on the verge of a school shooting.
Even that band?
A violin band?
No, a school band.
School band.
School band.
We had to.
We were required to do a school band for like two years.
We just had to play recorder.
They were all used and I was chewed up as fuck.
We just played Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.
Ours was Mar Mary Did You Know.
Is somebody getting married in here?
Why is this guy dressed like this?
What is happening?
What is he doing?
Is he about to be a Bob Mitch by this bitch?
These are food containers now.
Is somebody about to get...
What's happening today?
Is there a bris?
This is somebody's bris band.
Hers Back says for a Monday event.
Oh, Nick. What's the event? Since you've been gone. The Sportsback says for a Monday event. Oh, Nick.
What's the event?
Since you've been gone.
The Sportsbook is live in West Virginia.
Oh, yeah.
Boys, got to get some boots on the ground there.
Yeah.
Go back, get some bests in.
That's crazy.
Hell, yeah.
That was genuine, Carl.
That's crazy.
We should do a two-hour show today.
All right.
I got to leave at 150.
You guys finish the rest of it.
Where are you going?
I would love to do a two-hour show.
I got to gurn and record 21st and Prime with Prime.
You might know him.
Who's 21st?
Jamie Dukes.
If Jamie Dukes is there, why do you have to host?
Jamie Dukes is camera shy.
That's the one thing about Mr. Dukes is there, why do you have to host? Jamie Dukes is camera shy. That's the one thing about Mr. Dukes.
The lady who did our makeup for the dad chat thing couldn't...
I don't think she could comprehend that we don't do makeup for the Yak and the podcast.
She kept on being like, is this your first time on camera?
And I'd be like, well, no, we do a show.
And she was like, and you don't put makeup on?
We should start.
Just getting in full makeup before the act.
What are these guys doing?
I feel like they could play Uptown Funk
within two minutes.
Yeah, this does seem like one of those surprise wedding videos.
Mark Ronson's going to be here.
Stop.
Wait a minute.
Fill my cup,
pour some liquor in it.
Yo, what's going on out there?
Do some intel.
Oh, she's the lead singer.
She's the lead singer.
I don't know about that guy
with the food.
She's definitely the lead singer.
One of them.
Send him in with the toast bacon, bro.
Fucking give him
that breakfast shit, boy.
Stop.
Wait a minute.
Put some liquor in it.
Hey, that's a bad wedding song.
We were at karaoke last week and some dude saying that.
It was awesome.
Which one?
No worries.
Oh, hell yeah.
Not that one.
Yeah.
Come on in, brother.
What's up, my guy?
What's up?
Come on in, man.
Come on in.
Grab a seat.
Grab a seat right in
the middle here nice you come talking to the microphone what's the occasion he has never
seen us here before that is fair so what are you uh what are you doing here what's the occasion
what's up uh well we're about to play one of the commercials a commercial commercial
really yeah we're gonna shoot it one of the commercials. A commercial?
Really?
Yeah.
We're going to shoot it at two.
Are we spoiling
something then?
What's that?
Meh.
We might be
spoiling the
commercial.
What's the big
instrument over there
in the red case?
That's a cello.
I told you it was a
cello.
Yeah.
Rewind the tapes.
I said cello first.
So I see a violin.
There's four violins,
two violas,
two cellos.
Is there a difference
between a viola and
a violin?
Well, a viola is just like a little bigger.
You're going to be playing.
Violin.
You're going to be playing violin?
Yeah.
Are flute players called flautists?
That's right.
Why?
You nailed it, dude.
Thank you.
Flautists, I have no fucking clue, honestly.
What's the most famous violin solo of all time?
Probably the Titanic solo, sadly.
Sad.
That is.
There's a bunch of like Mozart, Bach.
Speaking of Dion.
I'm sure you guys listen to that here all day.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Does he have Mozart just playing all day?
Yo-Yo Ma.
Yo-Yo Ma?
No, he's a cellist.
He's a cellist.
Yo-Yo Ma is a cellist.
What's a fiddle?
A fiddle?
That's country shit.
Well, funny.
That's a good question.
I get that question all the time for some reason. But a fiddle is the actually that's country shit well funny that's a good question i get that
question all the time for some reason but a fiddle is the exact same thing as a violin in fact people
in europe used to call it a fiddle okay but it was uh when it came to america like the eastern
europeans that's where like fiddle music developed okay so we know it as a fiddle if it's like
country stuff he's appalachian though he's from the appalachian the foothills the foothills but
you're shaming I mean don't
No you guys
Do you do a lot of commercials
Is that your thing
Bread and butter
I mean I used to
Back in the day
This is kind of
Less
More of a rare
Kind of thing
This is Fight of the Bumblebees
A little trip down memory lane
More more more
Pop those headphones on
What are we listening to right now
What's this Oh that's That's Wagner Pop those headphones on. What are we listening to right now?
What's this tune called?
That's Wagner.
That's Flight of the Valkyries.
Oh, Valkyries.
I know you play for the Magic.
That's a great piece.
Michigan, for sure.
It's a great piece. They both play for the Magic.
They both are?
Both the Wagners?
Both Wagners play for the Magic.
They're 21 and 22.
We saw them last week.
Mo Wagner?
Yeah, Mo is not a Wagner.
If you guys need a clarinet
to hop in, let me know.
You play clarinet?
Or recorder?
I don't play clarinet.
No, I just play violin.
I've been playing
since I was six years old.
It's pretty much all
I know how to do.
So you need one then?
You need a clarinet?
I don't know.
I'm not in the market
for a clarinet per se.
I'm saying you need
a clarinet player.
That's what we offer.
We offer to your way.
I can play the clarinet and the piano. Oh, really? need a clarinet player. That's what we offer. We offer to your way. I can play the clarinet
and the piano.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
No kidding.
You can't play the piano.
Yes, I can.
What can you play?
What can you play?
I can read music.
Isn't the clarinet
all you can read music?
What a waste.
Why aren't you doing it?
Why don't you do it more?
Is Fur Elise about a bush?
I can play Fur Elise.
Excuse me?
Fur? No, Fur Elise. Or it's a tree, probably. Fur Elise about a bush? I can play Fur Elise. Excuse me?
Fur? No, Fur Elise.
Or it's a tree, probably.
Fur Elise's literal translation is for Elise,
like he was in love with this woman.
So it might have been about a bush.
She hated that.
Yeah, it could have been.
There's a lot.
Back in those days, it was mostly bush territory.
Pause.
Pause on Canon and D.
Canon and D.
Pause is Canon and D.
What's that, docking?
How do you put a Canon and a D?
That's Nick Cannon performing your circumcision.
That's Nick Cannon as a reverse kidney stone.
Canon and D.
I'm decently impressed with you guys.
Classic music knowledge so far, I got to say.
Thank you, bro.
I got to say.
What was your bar?
What did you think we were going to be like?
We've been showing you nothing.
Yeah.
We haven't even talked about Brahms' lullaby yet, bro.
Who said that?
Me.
You two seem to have a hard time
locating us.
He's a smart one.
He's a smart one.
I can tell.
He's got the high IQ.
Yeah, fuck it was me.
Brahms.
So what do you guys think
about that Knicks-Lakers game
tomorrow night?
I don't fucking know Nick Slaker
Oh we're not sports guys
No
We're more classical guys
We're more classical music guys
Okay
Yeah
This is
Yeah this is Cannon and D
The most overplayed
Classic music piece
Yeah shit is whack bro
Shit is corny
Describe Chopin in one word to me
Beautiful
Yeah same What makes What makes Aaron Copland's Composition so American Describe Chopin in one word to me Beautiful Yeah, same
What makes Aaron Copland's composition so American?
That's such a great question, man
I think it's the bold tones
That kind of cunote adventure
I like that
Manifest destiny
I swear that's the only answer
I think that was the bold tones
Does that play more to his patriotism or his insularity?
I like the use of the word canone.
I think it's the patriotism.
Yeah, they really just suggest the whole Manifest Destiny, Oregon Trail vibe.
Yeah, well, if you're interested, Copland used what's called open chords, open fifths.
So it kind of describes the openness of the frontier.
Yes.
So that's what makes it American.
It definitely feels that way.
How does that differ from a classically German composition?
Oh, man.
This is like a fucking music history class.
Of course.
Classically German?
Germans were a little more serious.
Yeah.
A little more philosophical.
There's a little bit of joie de vivre to Copland's composition.
There sure is a little joie de vivre.
Yeah, definitely.
A little joy of life.
Joy of life, for sure.
Yes, for sure.
And for the record,
this is me saying all of that.
Dude, well, thank you so much
for coming.
And we can't wait
for this commercial to come out.
And it's going to be awesome.
Yeah, thanks, man.
Best of luck.
I'll send you guys my bill,
by the way.
Yes, yeah, perfect.
And the bill is two tickets
to Nick's Lakers.
Hook it up. Yes. Thanks, up yes get the fuck out of here
this guy freaking frank bogle see you man mixed with caruso i love it i love to be able to talk
a little classical music with the fellows bro we got to make him full timetime. He needs a chair. This guy's a unit, bro.
Dave's going to fucking love him.
That dude was electric.
That whole shit was bananas.
Jersey Jerry, move over.
We have that guy.
We did not ask his name at all.
Overrated.
Yeah.
When you capture the essence of a man.
Exactly.
You think we have his essence?
Oh, my word.
Because he's obviously classically trained in music, but he seems to be a sports enthusiast, too.
Yes.
I think he assumed we were.
Oh, 100%.
So he tried to, like, be relatable.
But so did we.
We tried to be relatable.
We did.
On his ass, bro.
Yeah.
And I think we did better than he did, bro.
I mean, that was pretty impressive. Bro, think we did better than he did, bro.
That was pretty impressive.
Well, Nick did, at least.
Nick fucking crushed that.
Yeah, that was odd when he said, who said that?
He did that before.
He did that when I was talking. When he said clarinet, he had no idea who was talking.
Yeah.
Is he blind?
He's a blind man.
I think he thought he was talking.
Did I think that?
He was like, well, no, I don't play clarinet.
And I was like, that's not what we...
Is that more of a blind move or a deaf move?
No, no.
I think blind people can hear better.
They could hear if someone was on their right or left and discern that.
Well, he wouldn't be deaf if he's in classical music.
I'm saying that's more deaf than blind.
Andy didn't want to put the headphones on.
He lost all his spatial awareness.
He was a blind man. He sat
down here and he said, what is this? It was like a sensory
deprivation chamber, so maybe hearing is his only...
What are you guys doing in here?
He actually didn't know.
What's the occasion? Work.
I gotta bounce, boys.
Tell Dion we said what's up.
Want me to say anything to Dion? Yeah, what should I say to Brian?
Just what's up?
Tell him what's up. Tell him what's up.
Tell him to hold it down.
He'll know.
That's beautiful.
It is beautiful, isn't it?
All right.
See you, Ron.
Well, there goes our voice.
So much for Big Cat coming back, huh?
Any bets tonight, Brandon?
No, no.
I've got to be quiet on the bets front for a little bit.
You weren't on pick central today.
Why don't you get your nut here?
What about Nick's Lakers, bro?
Is that tomorrow night here?
I guess it is here.
I wouldn't have said it.
Let's see.
Brandon's picks.
Okay, there you go.
Bucks minus 11.
Cavs 7.
Hornets plus 4.
Nothing really interesting.
Twelves.
The Twelves, yeah.
Cincinnati.
I always write Wolves, and then he always puts T-Wolves.
Wolves isn't the name of the team.
Not the name of the team.
But I think you can shorten it to the Cavs is not the name either.
Yeah.
What other team has Cavs?
What other team has Wolves?
Virginia.
There's a soccer team named Wolves.
Well, there's a college basketball team named the Cavs.
No, that's Virginia.
I would 100% put Virginia for that.
I went.
I sneezed during our discussion.
I apologize.
74 and what was that, 55?
Yeah.
It's been real good.
Damn good.
72 and 55, yeah.
Best winning percentage at the company.
Yeah, I'm the best.
Not the best gambler.
Lane low.
Lane low.
Trying to lane low.
Who's the best gambler unit-wise, Kelly?
She's not a part of Pick Central.
She declined on her invitation to join.
She did.
Declined?
Yeah.
So she couldn't give three picks a day?
Yep.
Whoa.
Smitty is currently in the monthly lead,
but I would say Big Ev has been really good the last six months.
Okay. Good say Big Ev has been really good the last six months. Nice.
Okay.
Good for Big Ev.
We need another classic musician.
That guy was entertaining, wasn't he?
He was.
Why is he the only one in a tux?
What is this commercial for?
They're all in tuxes.
Oh, they've all tuxed.
Were they all tuxed up when they walked in?
No.
No, they just have like a one-piece tux.
It just zips up from the side.
They're quick change artists.
Yeah.
That would be cool.
That blew my mind
the first time I saw it.
Still does.
America's Got Talent.
Was that ever like
debunked?
How did they do it?
I think they're just fast.
Huh?
I think they're just fast.
Can we look up
quick change artists best?
That's a search exactly that. Where do they they do it do they do it behind like a screen or they do it in front of you because they do it so fast like a curtain
like a little curtain okay it came up quick change art is best oh this is the golden buzzer
this is definitely gonna get the stream taken down oh no then don't i don't want to risk that
we might exit out This is definitely going to get the stream taken down. Oh, no, then don't. I don't want to risk that.
Exit out.
We'll have to watch it in our downtime and be able to be prepared to discuss it later.
Yeah.
Don't people on Twitch just stream full movies?
They just watch movies and react to them?
We did that on Friday.
We just watched a movie on the app.
Oh, really?
Robocop.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, Brandon, you would have loved it. I do love Robocop. We accidentally showed a movie on the app. Oh, really? Robocop. Oh, wow. Yeah, Brandon, you would have loved it.
I do love Robocop.
We accidentally showed titties on the app.
Accidentally?
Really?
People know.
People are claiming that we didn't know.
Okay.
We would have noticed the titties.
We would have.
There were titties, but we see titties so much that we didn't react.
We are desensitized.
So people were just like, oh, my God.
They didn't even notice the titties.
You guys didn't see titties.
No, we didn't react.
We saw the titties, and it was like, it was another day for me.
Another minute.
Another minute.
A titty a minute.
Was there titties in RoboCop?
Yeah, titty in RoboCop.
What's the time stamp?
They were 80s titties.
I don't know.
Yeah.
80s titties are allowed now.
Yeah.
That was the first time I saw titties was an airplane.
70s titties were pointier. Yeah, there were ski slopes. Yeah. That was the first time I saw titties was an airplane. 70s titties were pointier.
Yeah, there were ski slopes.
Weren't we looking at a nostalgic
titty Reddit?
Torpedo tits, which isn't all nostalgic.
There's some moderns. Modern torpedoes?
Yeah. Banana
tits. Banana breasts.
That's when I said that.
My first nostalgic titties. 70s titties.
R slash nostalgic tits.
I really wish we didn't have that ad talk.
Yeah, I feel really bad.
Yeah.
Well, at least he compared you to a feral cat
to make you feel better.
Yeah, a little bit.
You know, the things you forget about.
Humanizing.
Yeah.
No, I do feel bad about that.
Che, I'm sorry.
No, yeah. No more bullshit. No more bullshit. We're cool. I do feel bad about that. Yeah, no. Che, I'm sorry. No, yeah.
No more bullshit.
No more bullshit.
We're cool.
There'll probably be some bullshit.
We try to make the ads fun.
We try to make them fun, and then we get carried away sometimes.
Sometimes we do.
But we still have a whole lot of ads.
So if you think we lost one ad, and you're like, I can't listen to the pod anymore, we
still have a lot more.
Yeah.
You guys are doing great.
Thanks, Steve.
Sorry.
Sorry, Steve.
I feel bad.
Objectively not.
We aren't, but we'll fix it.
We will.
I was just trying to defend you, Nick.
Why is this just getting blamed on me?
Well, it's not.
It's getting blamed on me.
I thought it was helpful.
That's not. It's getting blamed on me. I thought it was helpful. That's okay.
I think I'm going to get
new shoes this week.
You should.
It's about time.
The holes grew much bigger
this week.
Last week, actually.
You have as many holes
in your shoes as
Brianna has fireplaces
in her apartment.
That's the hole-to-fireplace ratio.
Have you ever thought of making the boy dad sweatshirts tie-dye maybe then you can move to west village that was some wonderland font
we're putting out some new merch it's gonna be fire yeah just like uh just blank tees that
just say like it It doesn't matter.
It does.
They're going to be good.
I forget what they are, but they were funny.
I just submitted... They're not actually coming out.
I'm making a little new merch for us as well.
A little pint of ice cream on it.
And it's going to say
Uninstories instead of Ben and James.
I just need a name for the ice cream.
What is the name?
Didn't we do a whole episode on ice cream names?
Yeah, but it's like the ice cream was Gender Quaranistan.
Yeah.
And Roz Matterbatter, I think was the one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe just chocolate will do.
Tommy, you going to film a TikTok where Hannah's your girlfriend?
We're still live.
It's one where she wants me and I We're still live. That'll work.
True to life.
Oh, wait. Tommy, come here real quick.
Tommy, high T beard appreciation.
Can we zoom in on the Tommy goatee?
Yes, please.
Oh, man.
Yes.
I'm all for it.
Wow.
Good work, Tommy.
Good work.
You know what?
No.
No, I'm not going to.
Man, I do want to keep yakking, though.
No.
I'm enjoying your guys' company.
I was bowling alone all weekend.
I needed this back.
Yeah, me too.
Yesterday was a long day
Were you ever awake yesterday?
I went to the bathhouse
Yeah, I fell asleep at like
Did you?
7
Woke up again at like 11
7 a.m.?
No, 7 p.m.
Okay
And then I didn't go back to bed
Until like 4
Nice
Why the odd sleeping pattern?
I just had a long week Need needed to catch up on some sleep
did you go to like a friends in north carolina no nashville oh that was in nashville okay that
is long i know where it goes but that was uh at the end of the week we were in minneapolis for
the beginning oh yeah yeah and then we had that show on saturday how'd that go that was fun good
yeah it was a good time. I suck at hosting,
but we made it work.
Have we talked about
the karaoke video at all?
No, no.
The crazy thing
about the karaoke video
is I legitimately
did not notice
that lady was there
the entire time.
What?
That's not true.
I swear.
Oh, and as soon as we got off,
we were like,
dude, that was so funny,
and I was like, what?
She was standing
three feet from me.
What?
You can watch the video.
I did not make eye contact
with her once yeah I didn't make eye
contact with her once the entire time I like calling
girls until about like
until about like
two minutes in I think I saw her when the
when the dude tried to get was there any interaction
afterwards between you two
prior no prior
she was like kept on like weirdly looking
over at us like she was like weird did she knew you guys were Prior, she was like kept on like weirdly looking over at us. Like she was like weird.
Did she knew you guys were filming?
No.
Maybe.
She was doing that to a lot of people.
You never saw that person?
Dude, I did not see.
Look it.
I don't see her.
I literally didn't know she was there.
She's right there.
You cannot claim that.
Harry.
I swear to God I did not know she was there.
I'm giving you a chance to take it back.
Just say you're sorry.
Just say you're sorry.
Oh, that's hard.
Back me up.
Yes.
Dude, I got off the page and everyone was hysterically laughing.
Because he's serious.
I showed him the video after.
I was like, dude, I can't believe I got this on film.
And I was like, I did not notice that the entire time.
I was focusing on the song.
But your eyes are still working.
I didn't look at her once until the guy pulls her away. That was the first time I see her. You might be telling the song. But your eyes are still working. I didn't look at her once until the guy
pulls her away.
That was the first time
I see her.
You might be telling the truth.
I haven't seen his eyes
looking at her.
I don't know if he did
regard her whatsoever.
I was looking at the screen
reading the lyrics.
Okay.
That checks out.
What an L for her.
She was fine.
She was fine?
She had multiple boyfriends there. Yeah, it was weird. She was fine. She had like
multiple boyfriends there.
Yeah, it was weird.
And dude,
a lot of people there,
did you talk about
like the dude
who tried to like
fight everyone?
Oh yeah, we did.
Did we?
No.
I was ass.
See, maybe that's when I,
no, I don't think
I even looked at her man.
On it, swear to God. I even looked at her then. Swear to God.
She could have given you COVID.
I swear to God.
It's the first thing I noticed.
I know.
It was me too when I saw the video.
But during the recording of the video, I just saw her.
I think you could watch this video twice and not notice her.
What the fuck?
Come on now. You Bob Dylan voice a little bit in there. That's fuck? Come on now.
You Bob Dylan voice a little bit.
That's just how it's saying now.
So we were at this
bar and
Wait, let her drop it first.
Does she drop it?
When does she drop it? I haven't seen her
drop it. She drops it. Drop what?
It's
Oh, fuck my ass.
So she had multiple.
She had multiple dudes like trying to like drag her away somewhere.
She might have been like on hard drugs.
Who was on the camera?
Me.
Pretty good.
You noticed her.
That's why they were recording.
I thought it was a playful Zoom while saying not horny.
So we were at this...
Why are your hands right there, Owen?
I'm hard.
We were at this bar, this karaoke bar,
and this dude kept on coming up to us.
Well, Roan was in a perfectly fitted suit.
And I told him that Roan works on Wall Street.
And then he kept on coming up to us and be like, I love you guys.
You guys got a great vibe.
And then randomly he'd come up 30 minutes later and be like, I don't take shit, bro.
And you'd be like, what?
And he'd be like, I know you guys are talking shit about me.
I'm no bitch.
And then it just kept on happening.
And then you can expect more and more.
He was yelling at Roan.
He was like, oh, Mr. Big Wall Street, give me a job, all this shit.
But then he tried to fight Roan's friends.
And then he was removed from the bar.
I hate dudes.
Roan's buddy just picked him up and just threw him across the bar.
There was a dude that lunged at Juan Tondon.
We told Donnie to put on his sunglasses and stand at the top of the steps of this happening. There was a dude that lunged at Wonton Don. We told Donnie to put on
his sunglasses.
Yeah.
And stand at the top of
the steps of this bar and
just ask to see people's
wristbands.
It's funny.
It was really funny.
It was working.
And then like I was just
like the guy was getting
really mad.
I was like dude he
doesn't work.
He was like what the
fuck.
And he like wanted to
like fight Donnie for
like the most harmless
prank.
Yeah.
People are so weird.
I don't understand the
appeal of like that. Yeah. Donnie was telling. I don't understand the appeal of like that.
Yeah.
Donnie was telling me
I think this wristband's fake.
And it was just
That's hilarious.
Yes.
Yeah.
That dude's a wiener.
I had a dude
one time
when we were at a bar
and I like
it was really tight.
You were there
and I was trying to
scooch by him
and I like bumped into him a little bit.
And he goes, I will physically attack you.
Yeah.
Or I will physically destroy you.
He gave you one more chance.
That's how Tommy talks to me.
Brandon's horrified to go home.
He's just sitting in his car for like two hours.
I'm always hearing people say, I think it's a short guy thing.
Guys just never disrespect me in public.
The only time that.
Because I think it's a lose.
They know if they fought me, it would...
They can't, like, beat up a smaller guy.
That might be...
Yeah, I don't know.
I feel like I don't get threatened either.
I would wallop him anyway.
I've only been threatened once in my life,
and that was by a guy that was very short,
like five foot two.
All of my...
Yeah.
They like to threaten.
Short people like to threaten.
They have to.
I don't think I've ever had someone legitimately,
I think that was the only time someone's like legitimately tried to physically attack me or destroy me.
Sask got destroyed last night, physically.
Oh, man.
All right.
What day do we have shows?
Do we, just tomorrow?
Tomorrow, yeah.
You guys want to do like three hours i don't know if i'm
gonna be here tomorrow wow i know i gotta take a train that's all right what's uh tj you want to
play switch tomorrow yeah let's play the t-shirt game oh yeah that was fun yeah let's do that like
with the second hour i'll bring in I still have the one you gave me.
Oh, yeah, I have one, too.
I have the... Which one do you have?
Do you have pints?
Yeah.
Oh, fuck, yeah.
I have two hours of the Brandon Walker Cosplay Ball show tomorrow at 5.
We can just go from Yak right into the Brandon Walker Cosplay Ball show.
Yeah, I don't need to prep in between shows.
It's fine.
Good.
No, I didn't think you did.
No, I'm saying I don't.
Brandon was talking to us, TJ.
Yeah, I was.
This was kind of a talent thing
I hate that term
I do
Because like we have
Significantly less talent
No talent
Than TJ
Like he could do my job easily
I could not do his job at all
We should do a reverse yak one then
We should do one reverse yak
But we do need a title change
We produce
We're producers
Right
You guys are talent
Thanks That's just the Don't say thanks It's just the definition of the words Oh yeah we produce title change. We produce. We're producers. You guys are talent.
Don't say thanks.
It's just the definition of the words.
Oh yeah, we produce
the things that are
going on out here.
Calling it talent is so
I hate that.
And now it's on our ID.
My skin crawl.
Hey, what do you do for work?
I'm in talent.
I'm the talented bar stool.
Oh, you're like a smoke show?
I'm the fucking brains.
All right.
What does it say for TJ's ID?
Does it just say untalented?
It says untalent.
No talent.
Absolutely not talent.
Don't call him that.
Yes, he can multitask and work a complex computer system,
adjust audio levels, but no.
Do not mix that up.
Don't call him talent.
Let's get TJ to 100,000 followers right now.
Right now.
Actually, yeah.
Let's fucking do it.
Pull up your Twitter.
Actually, when we get TJ.
Let's give you a quick boost and we'll get you out of here.
TJ to 50K and we will do a three-hour draft episode the day it happens.
He's at 14-4.
He's at 14-4?
It'll happen.
Let's get him to 20 today.
Let's get him to 20 today.
Let's get him to 15 right now.
15 right now.
I think we can do a lot better in 15.
I think we can get him.
And it's towards the end of the show
and Roan and Big Cat aren't here.
Yeah, 15 might be ambitious.
He might lose followers.
Uh-oh.
Well, we do have one legend here.
Go to where...
Jay?
Brandon.
Brandon.
What about me?
You're one of the legends.
You're one of the legends.
When did that happen?
Somebody said there's three legends
and like four...
No, two legends....twigs and skinny jeans. Yeah. Two legends. When did that happen? Somebody said there's three legends and like four twigs and skinny jeans.
Two legends.
Two legends and four guys who wear skinny jeans and would rather pay $20 for a salad than $4 for a hot dog.
How do you know that I'm one of the legends?
He didn't name the legends.
Because you guys weren't there.
It was implied.
You and Big Cat weren't there.
Huh.
Oh, I like that.
I accept that.
Would you ever pay $20 for a salad?
Like us boys?
I would say no, but yeah, I probably would.
You would.
What about $4 for a street dog?
Yeah, for sure.
Of course.
That's what makes you a legend.
Yeah.
I definitely would.
I would never pay $4 for a street dog.
Oh, yeah, TJ Cam.
It hasn't moved.
Oh, boy.
Well, you need to go to the one where we can see it. Oh, yeah, TJ Cam. It hasn't moved. Oh, boy. Go to the one where we can see it.
We have 30 viewers right now.
Tweet from the Yak, follow, and then just add your account.
And then TJ ratio it yourself.
Yeah.
I think we're at a point where most of them already follow him.
Yeah.
I didn't think about that.
Did you guys try content Kim's stuffing today?
Yeah.
It needed gravy.
It needed something to pour on top of it,
but it was not bad stuffing.
That's stuffing with a K.
All right.
I got to go pee.
Yeah, that's the yak.
Bro, let's not end it.
Just hitting our struggles downhill from here.
It does.
This is where my day ends.
Yeah, truly.
After this, my day is ruined.
I'm just kidding.
I have to go do this dad chat thing again.
Really?
Take two?
Round two.
What's up? What's this one I don't need?
Oh, shit. I'm sorry. Okay, yeah. What's up? At least this one I don't need.
Oh, shit.
I'm sorry.
Okay, yeah.
Frank's sister?
Fran's sister.
Yeah, that's the Yak, guys.
Thank you guys for watching the Yak.
Just know we appreciate you.
And you're not alone this holiday season.
No, you're not.
With better help.
Shut up. Do it. We'll see you next time. Thank you.