The Yak - The Barstool Chicago Office Has a MAJOR Tea Problem | The Yak 10-12-23
Episode Date: October 12, 2023You just got PRANKEDYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, pull that up.
What do you mean, last night?
Hot tea, like, that's a crazy thing to assume.
I think that's a crazy thing to just have at the office for you, hot tea.
I'm not asking for pre-made hot tea.
I'm talking about, like, the packets of tea.
Oh, I felt like you were asking for it. You thought I was going to come in and there was going to be like cups waiting for me to
sip tea out of?
I felt like that's what he was going for.
Since when are you a tea guy?
All the time.
I have a sore throat.
I've never seen you have tea.
I've never seen you have tea.
Because it looks like I'm drinking coffee.
You've never had tea.
No, because you have the little bag tag sticking out.
No, you don't.
It's like a T.Y.
Beanie Baby.
Brought to you by Roback.
Never seen that reaction for asking if no one drinks tea.
Well, you came up here and you're like, what, no tea?
It was a little. It was a little. You walked in here, where the fuck is all the tea? any if no one drinks. Well, you came up here You're like what no tea? It was a little
Walked in here. Where the fuck is all the tea?
Little diva, little diva
You said no one drinks tea?
And then you were like you thought we were gonna have tea
We've all been cramped in this tiny fucking office for like months now. He comes in day two and he's like, where's my goddamn tea?
What's the whole tea?
There's plenty of K-Cups
Where's my goddamn tea? One thing the whole tea? There's plenty of K-Cups. Where's my goddamn tea?
One thing of tea would be standard.
You struck an intern.
You struck an intern with your backhand.
Where's my fucking tea?
Tea is the most standard thing.
At an office?
No.
At a bar?
You have tea at the New York office.
There's hundreds of packets of tea.
Oh, you have tea now at the New York office?
There's always been tea.
Yeah, but do you guys have equipment that works?
Yes, we have a K-cup.
Or a Keurig.
Or a Keurig.
I meant like microphones and stuff.
No, we don't.
All right.
Roback.
They got the best.
The Q-zips are incredible.
The joggers.
Sometimes I don't, like, it's the perfect amount of zip.
Yeah.
They got hats, too.
I mean, I'm.
They do.
You know how I know?
You're wearing one.
Because I'm wearing one.
And I'm wearing the hoodie.
They've got the best. I love you. They just just released brand new performance crew next for both men and women They're breathable yet
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Probably hats.
Yeah, I would have to imagine.
Or do I have like a one-of-one deal?
Am I special?
Where's my goddamn hat?
Yeah, I said, give me tea or give me a hat.
And they're like, we have no tea.
The hat will have to do.
Crazy.
Literally just like herbs.
I was living in a hotel, and i was walking to work with
kyle because he wanted to use the free breakfast that my hotel was giving and this homeless man
comes up to me he said give me your fucking hat or your coffee and i was like oh shit he said and
then kyle just kind of walked away from me this dude was crazy and so i gave him kyle just kyle
just walked away right away from. Kyle was like, nah.
And then I was like, dude, New York, huh?
And he was like, that never happens.
The guy gave me the choice.
Was he satisfied with the coffee?
Yeah, he walked right away with it. He must have really liked your hat.
Yeah.
He was probably like, I just want the cup of coffee.
And then he was like, oh, I'll take the hat too, though.
Oh, really?
Yeah, he was probably a big Pens fan.
Interesting.
How was boozy spelling bee?
We have a champion?
No man should ever say boozy.
That's what you put on the flyer.
I had to.
Okay.
Boozy.
I put you on the flyer too, dude.
I told you I wasn't coming.
You said put you on the flyer because your ego couldn't take me being with Titus without you.
That's not what I said.
That is true.
That is true. You know what really threw me off yesterday was when you were leaving
and you said i'll see you tonight yeah but i don't know what that why were you saying that i don't
know i don't know why you said that i just misspoke and for hours i was thinking i was like when am i
gonna see brandon tonight in your nightmares yeah as soon as i said it i knew i was lying but i
didn't want to correct no i had a feeling you were not going to see me tonight.
That's like a KB-ism.
Every time he meets somebody, he says, nice to meet you again.
But, like, I think.
Yeah, I just said it.
I was like, I don't know what to say.
I'm leaving.
Sasses were awkwardly seeing each other in the street.
And I said, all right, see you tonight, buddy.
It wasn't awkward.
It was really not awkward.
Sass is probably one of the closest with Sass.
Did you think about it after the fact at all?
Well, I haven't seen
Sass in a while.
I was a little nervous.
But like when you
were driving home,
were you like,
why did I say that
or did it not cross
your mind until
he just brought it up?
As my butt hit the seat,
I was thinking,
why'd you say that?
Your big fucking butt.
Yeah.
Big ass in my tiny seat.
Yeah, you were
filling that Jeep up.
So how was
the boozy spelling bee?
Za fucking what?
Za one.
So what was the spelling bee?
He got Genghis Khan right.
He got Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart right.
Goddamn, Za.
No, Genghis kept me up all night.
I fucked up.
Oh, you fucked up Genghis, but you could take a shot to get back in.
And if you missed your second word.
But we were trying to knock out our coworkers.
So somebody else would win.
Yeah.
I wouldn't miss work.
I heard it was rigged.
I heard there was a conspiracy going on.
I don't like the term rigged having a negative connotation.
He misspelled, by the way, B in the tweet.
He was the spelling bee champion.
Which I think is a great representation of what this event was.
He's like, I was the spelling bee champion.
It's one of the pinker tongues I've ever seen.
Were you eating some watermelon Jolly Ranchers before that?
Oh, my God.
Nah, Pink Whitney's.
Oh, okay.
I'll do it.
That's what kept me alive.
Great event, by the way, Nick.
You guys absolutely dominated.
They're so fun.
Anyone in Chicago Should come to those
They are pretty fun
Yeah it looked like a good time
Also won Pinkest Tongue
Oh shit really
Yeah
So we'll be giving that out as well
Damn
That'll be another $5,000
How much did last night cost you
I was thinking of it
You know what helped
That KB didn't have
A scouting report on me
Oh
I entered once
The whole thing had started
I feel like if he
If he had known that I was in,
he would have given me some stupid-ass
Afrikaans Blomfontein or something crazy
like that.
I didn't understand the last ten words.
Donnie's wife was really
good as well.
I thought she was a favorite to win.
She was killing it.
Sounds like a fun night.
What was the prize?
$400.
That's crazy.
Mark and KB
left pretty quickly.
We got out of there.
This is going to bankrupt you.
But then Zah won.
And then he said
$400 of drinks
for the bar
which I had to tip on.
It was $500.
I took care of the tip. You tipped too?
Oh no.
I left out the bucks.
I left out the bucks.
We're keeping that bar
afloat.
$600.
That bar actually made $600 total dollars.
You're keeping them afloat, dude.
I'm going to sneak into that cabinet and steal the ones.
How was your show last night, Sam?
It was good.
It was fun.
It was better than Tuesday, for sure.
What made it better?
A little more energetic.
I think the Tuesday, Tuesday everyone was just very, it was still fun, but they were just sleepy.
That guy you had on Boy Dad Live yesterday.
Aiden.
Aiden.
He followed me on Instagram.
He's AIDS guy.
AIDS man.
There's porno going on right now.
Why is there a porno going on?
Where's the porno coming from?
Sounds like up there. Oh my God. Somebody hack into our Bluetooth? There's porno going on? Where's the porno coming from? Sounds like up there.
Oh my god.
Did somebody hack into our Bluetooth?
There's porno going on.
TJ, what are you watching?
Did anyone else just check their phone?
I instantly disconnected my Bluetooth.
Oh, where's my speaker?
No, fuck.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, god damn.
Oh, Nietzsche.
Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, goddamn. Oh, Nicky. Frank.
Oh.
Oh, you son of a bitch.
That's a classic Smokes.
Legend.
I didn't know what to expect when he said it.
He said I fucked something up.
I thought I fucked something up royally.
I was really, I went right to my Bluetooth.
Yeah.
Dude, I.
He promised to prank us.
He got us.
He did it.
I have a disgusting feeling that wasn't from Pornhub.
That was from his camera roll.
That was him reading the Bible with a young lady.
Smokes.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
That sounded, send me that link
fucking good
i'm horny that porn was right one day i wear sweatpants that porn was right under you yeah
it was porn yeah yeah did you feel the vibrations dude i felt like the balls smack yeah you felt it
before you heard it that's how you know it's good porn. Yeah.
Does anyone else feel that porn?
It's like the Jurassic Cup glasses.
I think that's a big black dick.
I dribble a little porn down Sass's knee.
I feel the porno in my knees before you.
I always tell porn's coming.
Porn today.
Porn outside.
My joints get a little freaky.
Oh, man, good stuff.
What NFL player tweets about stuff?
Does it have to be an NFL player at all times?
Basketball players are too easy.
Okay.
What is this?
There's a whole Twitter.
I'm trying to think of legendary NFL.
The legendary one is Eddie Lacy China food.
What's Eddie Lacy China food?
Eddie Lacy loves China food.
China food.
That's pretty legendary.
Was it multiple tweets or just the one?
You guys don't know about China food?
Don't know about China food.
I fucking love China food, brother.
Not as much as Eddie Lacy.
It pretty much pushed him out of the league. He did get fat, didn't he? Yeah. Because of what? China food. China food, brother. Not as much as Eddie Lacey. It pretty much pushed him out of the league.
He did get fat, didn't he?
Yeah.
Because of what?
China food.
China food.
China food makes you feel fatter than most other foods.
Yeah.
Unless it's a bat.
True.
I keep craving China food.
Who wants to bring me some China food?
Again!
Who wants to bring me some China food?
I'm about to go.
China food time.
I love this.
He loves China food.
China food is.
I get this, dude.
I get it, too.
He literally can't stop thinking about China food.
There's so many more of these than I thought there was going to be.
Yeah, he loves China food.
Is this when he's at Bama too?
He couldn't have had great China food options
in Tuscaloosa.
This was probably before they had meal plans
and all that good shit.
This is what Twitter used to be.
It was awesome.
Instead of having takes.
It was just about your day.
About to go have some spaghetti.
That's what it should have been. Thinking about China food go have some spaghetti yeah that's what it's
thinking about thinking about china food we could tweet like that with nothing stopping us from
tweeting like that that's true if you looked up china food right now on twitter the first one that
came up would probably be like some person at eating at a chinese restaurant and then like
the whole thing just explodes there's blood flying everywhere and the dude that posted that
yeah that's what and then the dude that posted that Yeah And then the dude that posted that made $30,000
Off of that tweet
Money's good
Yeah dude Twitter is disgusting
There's 10,000 words in the tweet
You have to click show more
Three times
Sass have you made money on Twitter?
No I'm not
Yeah I'm not
Twitter blue The yak just got that little bar stool next to it to show we're affiliated with the
stool really yeah oh really i didn't even know that was a thing yeah those are kind of cool i
don't huh i don't know how i feel being your barstool is not even associated with bars no no
no but the yak got the little stool the yak is why does the yet why does the barstool account
have the yellow check i think that's like king.
Oh, wow.
Interesting.
King stool.
Yeah, top dog.
Have you made much money off of Twitter?
I haven't tweeted since Elon bought it.
That's true.
You haven't tweeted.
I made about $1,500.
Really?
Damn.
How?
Just signing up for their tweets.
But how much have you paid?
Yeah, I tweet.
$2,000?
Yeah.
I'm surprised you didn't make more.
All you got to tweet is like,
Michigan is the best team in the NCAA right now.
Is that how it works?
More engagement gets more money?
That's why you're an asshole.
No, I'm not an asshole on Twitter.
Tweet right now, respond if you ain't gay.
Like 10 grand.
Ah, fuck.
All right.
Let's get three responses.
So your journalistic integrity has been compromised.
Yeah.
Because you're not.
I said, yeah.
You're not actually offering up your takes.
You're just offering up things that will get you engagement.
No, it's not.
It's like when I do like a poll or I say, hey, who do y'all think is going to win?
Like that.
Those drive pretty good. And then at night when I can't sleep, I'll say, be like, what do y'all think is going to win? Those drive pretty good.
And then at night when I can't sleep, I'll be like,
what do y'all want to talk about?
And like 300 people. Yeah, you do other people doing your job.
Yeah.
It's like when our social media team is like, caption this.
Fuck you.
Yeah, you caption it.
Fuck you.
Can you see how much one tweet made you?
No.
Maybe you can.
I haven't figured it out.
You do the tweets where you put all start.
You're like, name a fullback. I'll start. Me first. I haven't figured it out. You do the tweets where you put all start. You're like, name a fullback.
I'll start.
He first.
I have done.
I said, let's name random college football players.
I'll start.
Here's one.
Say I'll start, but I did start.
The fact that you tweet, let's name random college football players,
and then people actually are like, oh, I guess I'll name one.
That's Chris.
If somebody names a random athlete, you have to name another random athlete.
Naming dudes is fun.
Mike Alston.
Pretty good.
He's pretty good.
We're not like you, man.
Yeah.
I'm not feeding into your fucking traps.
Yeah, you all want to name.
No, it's not the naming dudes.
The all-start part is a little like, you know.
Say I'll start.
I just did it.
Saying I'll start would look stupid.
Names in college football quarterbacks. Since that that wasn't clear i'll give you an example tim tebow yeah that
is here's have you seen the internet i'll start big titty threads really your big titties oh i
have seen i've seen this guy i haven't albert or something he'll be like hey i dare you to show me
your tits and then like 2 000 replies 2 000 that's 4 000 titties and i watch them all jesus when uh you know when the like bot says you up for some yeah and then it's like the
blurred thing do you look at it every time everything and it's always that girl with
the weird pussy it's always the same girl she goes how does this look weird pussies in oxy
and then i reply and i say it's. I like it all. Terrible.
I'd rather be eating China food. Yeah.
Looks bad. What, pussy or
China food? No, that's what I replied to that girl.
Gross.
Gross pussy. Yeah.
You up for something? Not right now, Rosie.
Yeah.
She replies to all of my
tweets. Are you getting jealous
right now, dude?
Can we see Rosie's tits on y'all man please put rosie's weird pussy on eddie lacy
have y'all noticed the new rosie is just chloe the maga chick have y'all noticed her the the
black chick that's uh black chick, blue bikini?
She responds to everything just like, cool.
Yeah.
That's tough.
Yeah.
She hasn't answered my DMs yet.
Yeah, Chloe the Maga Chick.
She answers everything.
Everything.
Shout out to her.
That's awesome.
Very different algorithm than you guys.
It's not really an algorithm.
This isn't an algorithm.
This is just robots.
I get a lot of the China death stuff.
I get a lot of that.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Big time.
Kate, what did you do different today that made you look even more pregnant?
Oh, my God.
That's a great question.
They sent me this sweatsuit that I think they probably didn't want me to wear it till after I had the baby oh it came in the middle yesterday and I'm literally wearing
it today because it's so fucking comfortable it looks comfortable it is so you can't see the logo
on the pants because my body's eating it up but oh my god it's so comfy this is probably the last
thing they want promoting their their stuff but god damn it's so comfy. I think it shows that it's like a four-way stretch.
I'm probably going to wear this until every day.
But you still have a long time.
I still have.
Do you?
Two weeks.
Three weeks.
We're in range now, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Now it could happen.
Like, did your water break at any moment?
I thought it did yesterday, but it turns out I was just sitting down and uh you pissed i had a pee experience you squirted yeah yeah turns out i just
squirted someone was playing porn in the back i must have fucking squirted nicky smokes must have
put his speaker in my bag before i left sitting on the, just started squirting. Pretty far.
Pretty far.
I texted Pat. I was like, come upstairs,
I think.
And the internet was like,
smell your underwear, and if it smells like
piss, it's just piss.
What is a good gauge on if it's piss?
Yeah.
I was going to ask, what is it actually?
If it doesn't smell like piss piss that would be a bigger problem
what would the alternative
smelling like be
they said the alternative smells like
not piss and kind of sweet
oh okay
so when your water breaks that's just the
fluids in your
womb
coming out that's not piss
something breaks and it all what is it Brandon in your womb coming out? That's not piss?
Something breaks, and it all, like, boom. What is it, Brandon?
It's the baby juice.
I think it's like, yeah, it's the boy afloat.
I was in labor for a long time before my water broke last time,
so that's not like the movies where that's what starts it all.
Wait, you were in labor before your water broke?
Yeah, and then I was like, I'm going to throw up.
So I was like, Pat, and he handed me a bag, and I threw up.
And as I threw up, the force of the throw up exploded my water, and I shit myself at the same time.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
And the nurse called it a hat trick.
Wow.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
That's wild.
That feels like you could have sued the hospital for sure.
Yeah. But they were like, this happens all the time you doing my inside yeah oh hat trick does the dad still cut
the umbilical cord i don't think pat did i never you can if you want to i would never do that i
heard it's tough that's a tradition sure that's like a thing really yeah yeah i heard it's pretty
tough no it's a thing but i i brand, you didn't do any of your kids'
Were you in the room?
By the fourth one, I was not in the room.
By the fourth one, I wasn't.
Wait, what?
By the fourth one.
You were in the gambling cave, sweating out your bed.
Big Ev and Marty.
First one, I was right there.
By the fourth one, my wife said, I'm going to do this.
You go do that.
I just took a nap.
Dude, I don't think she likes you.
I took a nap in the waiting room and waited for them to come tell me we had a baby.
It sounds like she didn't know if number four was going to come out black or white.
Yeah.
This sounds like it was a point toss.
Let me get a look at it first.
What guy would fall for that?
Let me look at it first.
There was a chance of you having a black baby.
No, it's...
Whatever.
All right.
It was on the sheet.
Wow.
Why is your youngest son DeAndre Jr.?
Oh, here's a great discussion point great discussion point far and away my most athletic
kid though yeah man here's a great discussion point uh sass and mook shows this weekend
i guess that's steven chay yes yes or no the answer is yes all right moving on great topic
great great fucking topic there oh here's a good topic yesterday was eddie's birthday happy belated birthday
that is a good topic all right great topic thank god yesterday we had cvs snacks where
yeah i can know tuesday was barstool nate's 35th birthday another sentence so he's missing the
birthdays by a day or two that's fine i text nate happy birthday i like how he wrote, do we miss Big Cat and Che?
Did he write that? He wrote that?
Yeah.
Wait, they're right there.
Yeah.
Big Cat and Che.
They haven't even been here this week.
No.
At all.
I was sitting over there the whole time.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Big Cat's got to be miserable by this point.
That whole crew has to be...
What day is today?
Thursday.
Thursday.
They're almost there tomorrow's
their last day they started on sunday right yeah maybe today is their last day that's got to be
miserable it's a lot sleeping in that office has to suck yeah yeah i still don't understand what
surviving barstool is no matter how many times people explain it to me it's like we're just
hanging out in the office and that's it.
They all have handguns.
Yeah.
This is why I'm confused.
They give them actual challenges and shit.
Was the first one when White Sox Dave went rogue?
Yes.
He said he'd walk outside, but he was the guy.
Oh yeah, that's right.
He also didn't have shoes on.
He was like down at the subway, yeah.
So they never leave the office ever for anything.
Yeah. They don't go outside the subway. Yeah. So they never leave the office ever for anything. Yeah.
They don't go outside.
No.
That's basically it.
But then they're also doing content.
Yeah.
And the office is pitch black.
The thing is, they're not really getting much vitamin action.
When I was doing it, still, that office was way nicer than my apartment was.
So it was kind of nice to be there.
Yeah.
I feel that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Your old apartment was so it was kind of nice to be there yeah i feel that yeah yeah
yeah europe your old apartment was so small the smallest in new york yeah it was tiny really the
smallest in new york it had to have been like up in the top 100 yeah tiny yeah like so just like
packing it was a door with it had the bathroom and of shared sink. Yeah. Why don't you just get like a bit? The sink was like this big.
And then I had a couch, one seat couch. Like it was a how much I'm in.
I got to know. But that took I was in a month and meatpacking.
And there was a ladder to climb up to my bed. Yeah. I couldn't stand up.
My room was three foot ceiling. Why don't you just get like a two or three bedroom?
Yeah. Why don't I just like why not? Why didn't I just get like a two or three bedroom? Yeah, seriously. Why didn't I just do that? Why not? Why didn't I just make more money?
Yeah, I mean.
Yeah, I had a tiny apartment in Jersey City, but there was like an Indian guy living in it too.
So, kind of.
Oh, so.
Win-win.
Yeah.
Okay.
It was a dub.
I'm trying to think if I.
I went in reverse.
My first apartment was bigger than my second two apartments.
Yeah, it was.
But it was like you might have been living in like a fake apartment.
Like the walls always like everything was breaking.
No, that was in Hell's Kitchen.
My first apartment was in East Village.
Oh, I liked that.
And I lived with Ray and Tegan.
Just two dudes that.
Yeah, you remember them, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We went to that guy's fashion launch.
Yeah.
Ray.
Yeah, they were good guys. How'd you find them? Craigslist. They were ripping you off, right? Yeah. Yeah. We went to that guy's fashion launch. Yeah. Ray. Yeah. They were good guys.
How'd you find them?
Craigslist.
They were ripping you off, right?
No, they weren't.
They weren't the guy that was subletting it up to the charge.
Okay.
Yeah.
I just found out that I was paying more than them and their rooms were double the size
of mine.
Happens.
Happens.
What can you do?
That's the city, baby.
Yeah, it is.
Best city in the world.
What's your guys' favorite way to eat ice cream?
I usually use a spoon and can we fire che is frozen yogurt actually terrible for you
is frozen yogurt terrible i assume that it's no i don't think it's like road for you okay
i don't know i mean this makes you think what she gave us it's almost actually
ruining the flow of conversation yeah it really is there's nothing to talk about on this yeah
have you guys seen uh final destination which one the first one yeah the one with the no but i get
like i don't know i haven't finished it i started I started it last night. You like it or no?
It was good.
It was a little spooky.
I got a little spooked.
Isn't that the airplane one?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Isn't the premise just like everything is going to kill you, basically?
The group of teens always do something to avoid death, but the premise, like the death is a certainty, so it always comes up.
It's always coming for them.
They'll die in the most gruesome ways.
I just belong on Twitter.
The only clip I ever saw from a Final Dest movie was the gymnast i saw that what about the log truck the log truck i was about to say that's the one that
fucks me up what i follow behind log trucks yeah i don't want to see that uh the guy lifting weights
where like the plate smashes head yeah really i don't want to see that so it seems like you
really only have to watch the first 10 minutes of the movie and then you can watch the clips
of all the deaths.
I have a fear of lawnmowers because of that series.
One shoots a rock out across the street and hits a guy.
It goes right through his face.
The chick dying in the tanning bed, too, was bad.
Oh, yeah.
I think about that.
Yeah, don't watch those.
I don't watch scary movies.
Not that those are scary.
That's like gore porn, like Saw. I didn't know that. Yeah, don't watch those. I don't watch scary movies. Not that those are scary. That's like gore porn.
Like Saw. I didn't know that.
Just like traumatizing experiences.
So why would you want to watch
that? I watched it
just to feel something. I didn't know that's what it was.
Hold on, Sass. Why would you guys want to watch
that? I don't.
I was in like middle school. Okay.
High school.
I'm with you. we just talked about that i know but that's a whole totally different show and nobody knows about
yeah that's true that's true that's true that's true run everything back to the way we do the
exact same show what show uh mostly sports you might not have heard about it it's uh on the
barstool sports network i've heard it's failing. It's fine.
This is like very Trump.
The failing mostly sports.
I like the whole shtick you have of sucking dick.
That's on purpose, right?
Show sucks dick on purpose? Yeah.
Oh, man.
All right.
How about you stay in your own lane, pal?
I'm there. I'm there. Seth, did you get a haircut? No, I just put a hat on. Oh, man. All right. How about you stay in your own lane, pal? I'm there.
I'm there.
Seth, did you get a haircut?
No, I just put a hat on.
Oh, okay.
It does look like you got a haircut, right?
It works wonders.
Yeah, my hair just looks...
Just the top of your head, the hair on top is just like that.
It's that long?
Yeah.
Wow.
Because it looks like you got a haircut.
It does.
It changes everything dramatically
Well
Well that's just a hat though
Yeah I had to
Had to wear a hat after that picture
So pull that back up
That was
It made the thumbnail of the video
Of the YouTube
Yeah I saw that
It didn't look as bad in the thumbnail
Because they fixed the hair a little bit
Okay
Nice of them
It is a rock i saw someone
added sass to yeah it's someone added sass to our uh our picture that we created yesterday oh yeah
that was funny oh really kate look at our picture we made yesterday you didn't watch the show right
kate no god i need you to guess what we were talking what what led to this. Okay.
Those are boobies.
Yeah.
Glenny Balls has boobies.
What is going on with the crotch of that man?
That's Yao Ming with Teddy Bridgewater's dick.
Okay.
Of course.
Those are all arms on
KB. KB's all arms.
Whose arms are they?
That very white arm.
Whose arms are they?
That's a sleeve.
That's not an actual white arm.
I was like, mooks.
So it's obviously somebody very white.
Who carries arms?
I am at a loss.
Does he have scissor fingers?
Glennie? Oh, he doesn't, Does he have scissor fingers? Glennie?
Oh, he doesn't, but he kind of looks like he does.
What's going on?
Oh, the titties covering up the hand.
Oh, the titties.
Whoa, what is going on with that hand?
Is that Alex Earl?
That's an NBA championship ring on it, right?
That's Sidney Sweeney's titties on Shaquille O'Neal's body.
Oh, who's the lady, though?
Is that Sidney Sweeney?
That's Sidney Sweeney with the first Google result for titties.
Those are pretty good ones. Can I see Nick's legs on yaoming oh god i don't know if like
i think my legs would be less than a pixel i don't know if i'm done i i couldn't begin to even
we had a debate if sydney sweeney really had big titties or if she was small
so you put the titties on different people to see
if they were, and the verdict is
they are big. No, they're tiny.
They're tiny. They're tiny little things.
Really? Well, a bra makes all the difference.
She's 5'2".
I've seen little titties. Lose an inch overnight?
5'3".
No, she lost an inch overnight. Oh, she shrunk?
She shrunk. No, the right
bra can make anybody look like they have big titties.
So you've been in Daddario's DMs.
Yeah.
Just ask her.
For what?
If Sidney Sweeney has big titties.
You want me to ask Daddario if her titties are big?
Yes.
Ask her.
Hey, quick question.
Or if it's just proportional.
Are your titties big?
We need something for scale.
That's a really good pickup line.
Hey, you got back problems?
No, I'm going to just be straight up transparent.
Your titty's big.
I don't want to lose the follow.
Weird question.
Have you ever gotten a picture standing next to Shaquille O'Neal?
Did you get some tea?
No, I got coffee, but you guys don't have cream.
This is crazy.
I'm shocked we have coffee.
Me too.
This office is a desert out here, and we're leaving.
We only have one week left.
Yeah, one week.
Yeah, you wouldn't want to splurge on cream.
Yeah, you're right.
You wouldn't want to waste all that $5 on cream.
You're sick.
We've got cream.
What a shame that would be. Sorry, Sass. You want me to go get you some cream? We've got cream. What a shame that would be.
Sorry, Sass.
Can we go get you some cream?
We really fucked up.
We bought cream and now we have to move in a week.
It's a whole thing.
God forbid we would have to buy another thing of cream.
I hate to be here.
You guys are not moving in a week.
Yeah, we are.
No, we're not.
Thought we were.
The priority shows are.
What's the weirdest when they came to us?
But are we a priority show?
Because every time they've explained it to us.
We're on board with the priority show.
Yeah, I was going to say, every time they explain it to us,
it's the priority shows and also mostly sports are moving.
The thing is, there's only one non-priority show.
Anus?
That's correct.
No, you're forgetting.
Zero Block 30.
Oh, my goodness.
We're still going.
There we go.
We're kicking.
So what's going on?
Do you guys already have your studio ready?
Or will be ready in a week?
I think they're getting it ready next week.
Yeah, next week.
Yeah, well, I think starting Monday, they're going to spend the week getting it ready for
move-in ready.
Right now, it's ready to get that construction going.
They're loading all the cream in right now.
They're loading the cream.
Yeah, yeah.
We're all loading it.
Yeah.
The whole cream room.
Our cream silos.
They're filling up.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
Seth, by the way, I want to just go on record.
I'm subletting.
So Brandon and I are sharing a studio at the new office.
And I just wanted, for you and everyone else in New York,
I want to open up my half of the studio.
I'll sublet it to you guys.
Thank you.
If you ever need to use a studio.
I appreciate that.
You can use our space for sure.
And, yeah.
That's nice of you.
Yeah.
Can me and Kyle use it sometime?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You guys are still getting a studio, right?
Probably not now.
I think they're just, I think they're just jerking us along.
So you're on the second floor.
That's right.
I understand.
Right.
Yeah.
We're getting dog walk.
They're getting the first floor ready next week.
Yeah.
I didn't know there were two floors.
Yeah.
But there are.
Certainly are.
Yeah.
And we have a basketball court. So I've heard that's going were two floors. Yeah. But there are. Certainly are. Yeah. And we have a basketball court, so.
I've heard that's going to be nice.
Yeah.
Nothing better than going to work and playing basketball.
There's nothing better.
There it is.
There it is.
That's not.
That's the Dario with Shaq.
Is that Shaq?
Is that the Dario?
Is that the Dario?
Yeah.
Who has ever seen a picture of Shaq and not been sure?
You're the first ever.
Is that Shaquille O'Neal? He does look a little
chubby in that photo. He is chubby.
I mean, he's 50
something years old. This is making me so
fucking jealous.
Yeah, he's ripped.
He was on the China food in that picture.
Yeah, big time.
I would still say big.
I saw him in
person at the AEW show we went to in 2021,
and he had just wrestled a match, and he walked past me.
And I'm a big guy, and he's the biggest human being I can even conceive.
Did you think that you and Shaq were going to be the same height?
No, I didn't.
I just thought.
No, 6'5 does look like 7.
I thought, this guy's big.
But when I saw him in person, I was like,
I couldn't even really conceive how big he really is.
Yeah.
That's how.
Have you ever seen his shoe?
I have.
22, right?
Size 22?
I don't know.
Where is it?
The Basketball Hall of Fame?
Probably a lot of places.
I think Reebok.
By the way, is he the new president of Reebok?
Yeah.
Announced that yesterday.
Wow.
Reebok's still kicking?
They're trying to revamp.
Oh, I'd get on board with Reebok.
They've got to bring back the Zigs.
They're the best NFL jerseys.
I'd kill for a pair of Zigs right now.
It's a Reebok jersey, I think.
This is a CBJ.
You don't know what Zigs are?
That's why I asked.
TJ, can we pull up a photo of some Zigs?
They were hot for a minute.
These were like the most popular shoes in the world.
Oh, I never had those.
I had those neon green ones.
I remember I went lawn boarding, and I went on my stomach and I used my toes to
Stop myself and it was the day I got my zigs and they just peeled right off
We're furious. Oh, yeah. What was big cat in a commercial for a Reebok shoe?
Yeah, was it zigs?
Big cats been in a lot of commercials that pop up on my timeline regularly.
He's in the shirt commercial.
The shirt one, yeah.
He's like, I own 50 of these.
These are the greatest t-shirts I've ever worn.
Tight on the shoulders, really tapers down around the waist.
He's in the Amazon Prime and Stella one.
A lot of mugs he wants.
Makes the biceps pop.
Do we think he owns 50 of them?
Doesn't he say that in the ad?
He's like, I wear it all the time.
And people say, you wear that shirt all the time.
And I'm like, bro, no.
I actually own 50 of these.
Which I believe him because he does wear the same shirt every day.
True.
So do you, but yours is the same.
Yours is actually the same.
Oh, man.
Where'd Brandon go?
He just walked away.
Is this Big Cat in this? No way. Yeah, it was him in the very beginning. Oh, yeah
Yeah
With no Sean all right. Yeah, it was a damn good commercial
Yeah, maybe want to go buy some fucking Reeboks.
Get yourself a pair.
Yeah, I should.
You could just fucking rob someone.
Yeah.
Well, the problem is you could rob someone, but then you have to hope that no one else is wearing Reeboks, and they'll get you awfully fast.
They'll catch you.
True.
Yeah.
Did they make the pumps, the AI pumps?
Did you guys ever wear those?
I never.
No.
They make low-top pumps now, though, which is cool.
I don't know if they work. I don get the point yeah neither do i i remember being in like sixth grade and i like pumped up my ai pumps and i was like i'm gonna be sick at basketball now those ones make
it i had the vince carter shocks too i thought i could jump higher with shocks yep i think they
have ones with an app on your phone like say i put my feet in them and then i hit the button and like
they come back to the future shoes are the most expensive shoe, right?
Yeah, they're like $10,000 or something like that.
Bernie, you wore pumps the other day, didn't you?
I did.
Just bought a pair of pumps.
They looked cool.
They really did.
Did you see the low-top pumps?
I did not.
Yeah, I don't get the point.
Huh.
Because they don't wrap around your ankle.
Yeah.
You're right.
But they look great.
Those look nice.
Yeah.
Those look good.
When I got pumps in 1992, I thought it was revolutionizing revolutionizing who was in the dunk contest Dee Brown the brown he
Pumped his he pumped his shoes up and then you pump them up and they pop isn't there like a powder that was always the
Myth right I don't know if anybody ever did it that and what it's in Austin Powers. He's like
That's suck to pop your pumps pop Oh, it would be so embarrassing.
But you'd still wear them because nobody could tell they were popped.
Right?
Everybody could tell.
Everybody could tell.
How could they tell?
Nice pumps.
Oh, you know.
You popped your pumps.
You know that.
You look awfully deflated today.
Can I see somebody over-pumping their pumps?
Y'all know Titus popped his pumps?
Still wearing them?
Not little tits.
Little tits.
Little tits with the pop pumps. You do not want to be around someone who's popped their pumps because that's just like you're broke as hell yeah if
you popped your pumps and you didn't at least try and get them repaired new bag in there maybe i was
walking around with pop pumps really yeah that's tough you can't be doing that all the little
you could probably bring them in to the shop yeah they go and throw a new back i bet you it
destroys the totals the shoe yeah buy new pumps that's a bummer could you get pump insurance
no no way
they should totally no more than just cars yeah like if your dog has surgery But it's more expensive than the dog
Yeah
Putting them down
That's what happens
My dog was totaled
Three dogs
I mean that's gotta be like
How much are dogs?
It depends on what they are
You can get one for free
Yeah like a normal dog
Not like one of those fucking...
Not one of those expensive freaks.
Dogs are not cheap anymore.
Any breed is going to be like $1,000.
I think a Shih Tzu purebred...
What's the most expensive breed right now?
A rack for a dog is not bad.
Cats are expensive now, too.
No.
Cats are like $15.
Who is paying for cats?
Best genetic cats.
The best cats. You don't want the best cats. Have you seen the cats? Best genetic cats. The best cats.
You don't want the best cats.
Have you seen the guys that show off cats?
The cat guys?
They're like, they bring a real cat in.
They'll like stretch it out, show the asshole.
They're like mini fucking lions.
What is a Samoyed?
Samoyed?
How do you say that?
No way a Rottweiler is nine grand.
What's the 14,000 one?
Is that the one?
Is that the one that the Chinese and Japanese will paint?
Yeah.
Aren't they really mean?
They'll turn them into lions and shit.
Yeah.
How much is a golden retriever?
I'm saying it's like $500.
$25.
No way.
I bet you it's $12.
I got one.
I'll sell them to you.
I bet you it's $3.
You got one?
I'll sell them to you.
Yeah.
He's like 38 years old.
Isn't he?
Moe's?
Is he?
He'll turn 13 in December.
Oh, dude, if he loses a tooth, he's totaled.
That's the best time to have him.
$1,500.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
I didn't know dogs were expensive.
I'm looking to offload him.
What's the most expensive cat?
I'm looking to liquidate my dog.
I want an old-ass dog and just give it the best last five years of its life.
Just feed it meatballs. Holy shit. I think it's five years. It wasn't that old of a dog. give it the best like last five years of its life. Yeah. Just like feed it meatballs.
Holy shit.
I think it's five years.
It wasn't that old of a dog.
No.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Last five years.
Maybe two to four.
Oh shit.
Oh what?
Kara?
Yeah.
A sheer cat.
Wait, let's get big cat to get us one.
Oh.
Yeah, I can see that.
Those are the ones where they like have to butcher a whole chicken for it for lunchtime.
Yeah, those are probably just not.
So it's
like a leopard that's that thing eats better than i do yeah and that thing does not like its own no
i get so mad when i see those videos of the people that have like a fucking puma in their house yeah
wearing a leash and they're like that's how it expresses its feelings like yeah the feelings
that it wants to murder you.
Oil barons love having.
It's a Middle Eastern guy every time.
Oh, my God.
Damn.
And that poor other normal cat has to live with it?
If I came over to someone's house and they had one of those, I would kick it in the fucking chest.
That thing would eat you alive, dude.
I'd do that for every pet.
No, I would free it.
I would free it.
I would say, be gone from here.
That normal cat seemed to be running the...
Whoa.
You can't throw a cat like that.
Toss it in the toilet.
Brother, that's not a cat.
No.
That's a fucking mountain lion.
Why does she just lock herself in the shower?
Oh, fuck that.
Oh, fuck no.
Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
Oh, my God.
Oh, I love this.
You must just be living in fear.
Yeah, that's that cat.
That thing could just kill you at any moment.
Uh-oh.
Yeah, if that latched onto your cat.
Yeah, and all the content is like, I fuck with my cat.
Like, I tease my cat.
Oh, yeah, it's never just like them hanging out with their cat.
Look at this wild animal acting like a wild animal.
Oh, it's a good stretch.
That is.
That would feel so good.
Yeah. You want to pick you up like that every morning when you, that's a good stretch. That would feel so good. Yeah.
You want to pick you up like that every morning
when you walk in?
Please. Yeah.
Why can't people just have normal
cats?
So a cat like that costs $125,000.
That person's house
didn't even look like it was $125,000.
They had fucking metal chairs in their front yard and a mud, mud for grass.
Imagine you're like a struggling family and your fucking parents come home with a $125,000 cat.
Those are the types of people that have shit like that.
Yeah.
Like there would be people that have like a four-wheeler that was like 30 grand. Yeah. And their kids have like that. Yeah. Yes. Like, there would be people that have, like, a four-wheeler that was, like, 30 grand.
Yeah.
Kids have zero teeth.
Yeah.
You just described both the states of West Virginia and Mississippi.
I sure did.
I was, yeah, where's my backup?
It's true.
Yeah.
The most expensive trucks belong to the shittiest homes.
Yeah.
They park it in the living room because there's a hole in the side of their house.
You ever had a four-wheeler, Brandon?
Yeah.
The, what? That door's not locked nope is this another smokes prank i don't know it's got to be oh that door uh-oh watch out who's on the other side of that door oh no smokes honestly i will say it was
a good prank but he could have let that go on for like 30 more minutes before anyone knew what was happening. Yeah. I would have started jerking off, though.
What's that?
It's cream.
Oh, it's that.
The cream and tea.
It's the milkman.
Okay.
Zal, what was that?
Some TanaMade golf clubs.
What?
Oh.
For who, Brandon? I could use a restroom real quick. Some TanaMade golf clubs. What? Oh. For who, Brandon?
I could use a restroom real quick.
Let's go steal a golf club.
I want some.
Oh, we found out where we're tailgating Sunday.
Yes.
South Lot?
South Lot.
It's the Jack and Coke tailgate sponsored by Jack and Coke.
Oh, shit.
Both of them?
There's that one.
No, they collabed.
That's cool. They came together. That's awesome. came together that's awesome finally when did that become a company uh it's two separate
entities that made one drink yeah they said it's like in a can you can buy it just really
arnold and palmer yeah that's awesome i love i love palmer company yeah you would wasn't a big
arnold guy dude i've left this office every single day going to a different store trying to get a stitched bears you still haven't found
it I haven't found it I'm gonna try today
damn we were looking like go the airport a more stitch I don't think they make
stitched current players they do don't think I don't think so definitely do
didn't like it did fanatics fuck everything up or is that just that's the
championship merch like he has like the limited jerseys that are like half
stitch so the numbers aren't but like the nike check patch on the arm have you gone to the
uh at soldier field the store no i haven't checked there yet seems like where i would that's where i
went to uber too after this we went to the same fucking place three times and they were closed
yeah each time sports world said they were open that's at the corner of wrigley and wrigley i
want to try that again today and if they they're closed, I'm over and over.
And then I have to finish right in our smut.
Yeah, yeah.
Big Cat did ask for an extension again.
I'm anxious to see how.
Of course he did.
I didn't say it, but Big Cat did.
Any further extension will prevent it from coming out in time for Black Friday.
Interesting.
That is interesting.
Black Friday would maybe be a good title of the book brandon
wouldn't like that why did you know there's audiobooks for the books you bought the shoot
the roaches in our house yeah is kwan the narrator i don't know but we play next uh
it's like listening to a rap song.
He goes live on TikTok, like, every day.
Do you want us to become the new Wake Up Minzy?
It's very successful.
Oh, we never mentioned it on here, but I was telling Pat about this,
and he was like, yeah, I used to produce commercials for these books,
which I didn't know, and he sent me a whole catalog of he did like commercials for
these smut books i don't know if you did you send us the video in the group text they were very sexy
and they even used his apartment for some of them um and i had no idea that was part of his past but
this one particular she was a writer like the lady we were talking about and um he produced all her
smut commercials like 10 years ago that's
beautiful i know i had no idea all the books for the books he made like sexy trailers for her to
put on her facebook for the books yeah like a trailer for books he even pulled up the old emails
where he's like we need a super hairy man in austin we need whatever like and i was like did
you like giggle about this and he's no, it was just part of my living.
I was like, all right.
Whatever puts food on the table.
It's not a bad gig.
He hasn't worked on a porn set.
Yeah, he made this.
Onion Creek, is that him?
I wear those t-shirts sometimes.
I didn't know it was for a smut.
Bear It All by Laurie Foster.
Yeah, that's his apartment.
Is it really?
Yes, in Austin.
Is that him?
I don't know. That's's definitely him that's his old stove
no that's just uh nicky smoke
yeah he produced he said he did the casting oh no he did like the set he did like all of it
is that his mail? Probably.
Oh.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, shh.
That's his illegal gun.
He did have an illegal gun for a while.
Is it a burner?
No, it's a gun.
He's got... Is he going to fuck because of the gun now?
No, she's probably going to try and fuck him and take the gun.
Here we go. Oh, no. That's try and fuck him and take the gun here we go
Laurie Foster, that's who it was so for she had like this whole big series
She's about to ride him
Yeah, where'd the gun go
To find out.
Yeah, that's true.
It's a tease.
That's a good trailer.
It's already got us asking questions.
That's good.
Yeah, he made a bunch of these.
And I had no idea.
I was like, you never thought to mention that?
Look at that.
There you go, Seth.
You horny?
You horny, Seth?
Pretty common.
Pretty common drink.
Been fucking horned up over there?
Gotta be.
It has to be, honestly, within the top three most popular drinks on our queen shit
Yeah, it's gotta be what water coffee and tea what I've never seen anyone here or at the old office
I think he's probably number two Africa has as big tea. Yeah
Middle East fancy tea yeah water. I got water coffee tea. It's huge in Africa
Does he have as much caffeine as coffee? it like the same uh some of it's
uncaffeinated that's what i like i like the throat coat ew dude you guys don't fuck with throat coat
make that the title of our book yeah i actually just wrote that i need throat coat i gotta i'm
i'm ill don't we all are you how are you feeling today mook i'm feeling better i feel a little
better but i just feel more stuffy today we left did yesterday. We left the show last night, and Sass was like, I'm getting sick.
Let's go get, like, what was it?
Like a fucking starter pack to...
We got vitamin C. I didn't actually even end up
having mine. I wish I got the gummies.
Did you take the...
The NyQuil? NyQuil, yeah.
That shit fucks me up. Yeah.
Did you sleep good? Yeah, I did sleep good.
I've been doing an immunity shot every morning,
and they suck. I love those, dude.
That's what I was looking for yesterday.
Black pepper.
Ginger.
Ginger.
I love those.
I think there's like one fruit.
Can you just make it yourself?
Do it yourself.
You need to come in a little glass.
They're good.
They really wake you up.
Yeah.
They taste terrible?
They feel healthy.
Terrible.
No way.
They taste like ginger.
No.
It's like a little burning sensation.
You would probably hate it, yeah.
Why did that turn into...
You don't like spicy stuff.
I don't like spicy or healthy.
I don't like, you're right.
Or healthy.
Well, I don't like spicy.
I prefer, I would take healthy.
What's your favorite healthy food?
And don't say potatoes.
He was going to say potatoes.
I don't know.
What's the last thing you ate that wasn't fucking khaki?
Khaki?
A steak.
Okay.
A steak, yeah.
What do you have for sides when you have steak?
Did you touch the green beans at our dinner?
No.
Do you have any veggies?
Your diet is earth tones.
It's meat.
Are you Al Michaels?
I'm not.
I like greens. I like not. I like greens.
I like beans. I like tomatoes.
Potatoes.
Tomatoes.
I like tomatoes, potatoes.
What about Brussels sprouts?
You're going to mix in some sprouts when you're having
that steak and potatoes.
They're my favorite food. I love
Brussels sprouts. Ever have any hot honey
Brussels sprouts? Oh, yummy, yummy.
Good as hell.
I get soy garlic, bro.
Oh.
So good.
I could kill for some sprouts right now.
I might go do that after I get my DJ Moore jersey.
Totally.
What do you guys got for bets tonight?
Let's get down to it.
Maybe he sent his first touchdowns.
I know.
Are we allowed to say them?
I don't know.
Why would we not be allowed to say them?
Well, he said he didn't want to put them out.
Yeah, he said he doesn't want to show them.
But, oh, yeah.
Thanks for missing the show.
He gave them to us.
I'm writing every single one.
I don't like telling people either.
We were talking about that on Boy Dad.
Or I guess you weren't there.
We were talking about that on Boy Dad last week.
Because I was like, I put them out once.
And then it didn't.
And it hit.
And everyone was like, holy shit, this is crazy.
And then I put it out the next week.
And then it didn't hit.
And everyone was like, people were DMing me.
And I'm like, dude, I need that money.
Yeah.
I'm never doing this again. I don't want to be in charge of people's fucking debt every bet i place i put my right on it oh me too yeah and i recommend everybody
i was thinking the other day i was thinking if were, if it was a make or break situation, obviously the responsible thing would be not to bet.
But if you were like, I need the money.
Yeah.
I need this money.
You're going to put all of your money on one bet.
Yeah.
What would it be?
I was thinking just Chiefs money line.
Yeah, but I wouldn't want to put everything on a minus like 500 favorite well they're minus
500 now but last week in the week in the past they've been minus 100 yeah no i agree it would
be something like even close yeah yeah i mean if i'm really i think i'd roulette on black or red
really yeah no way that's way harder you wouldn't put it on like a 50 yeah i less i would i'm more inclined to just
play roulette than bet on a game roulette's crazy there's too many variables in a game
roulette's just a coin flip yeah there's not yeah exactly there's too many variables i want big on
roulette there's too much humanity that gets introduced into a sporting event i broke the
house what i beat the house in Vegas. No way.
Are you allowed back? They shut me down.
They flew me home on a PJ
and they said never come back.
How much?
How high up were you?
A lot of units, brother.
What's your unit? Grand?
$10.
Mine's double that.
And I'm sweating it out next to Big Pat on the screen We need this brother
Mine's a quarter of yours
Dude my unit
My betting is just me trying to stay
Above what my
What my
Total balance is on the app that I use keeping money in the keeping or like or like
Not going too far below that you know what I mean
Yeah, I got a reload this weekend. Yeah, I had to reload this morning
But I'm gonna win it all back tonight so yeah, yeah, I put in the 10 leg parlay medical reel no no no like guys no i've just been betting a lot
smarter than i did last year and i'm like thinking about it and i was like maybe if i but it's not as
fun you know because you want to you want the 20 leg parlay that's ten dollars to win a million
dollars but i got i got hired here during march madness and then i had to go to those gambling streams. Those were fun.
You remember those.
I enjoyed those. Do you remember?
Yeah, yeah.
And I get there, and basically I was told to, like, advertise my bets,
and I, like, explained to them.
I was like, I don't really gamble on this shit.
And they were like, we thought you were joking.
I was like, I told you this before you hired me.
I was like, I can talk ball, but, like, I don't really –
I don't look at basketball as, like, will Michigan State cover 19.5. I think, like, I told you this before you hired me. I was like, I can talk ball, but like, I don't really, I don't look at basketball as like,
will Michigan state cover 19 and a half?
I think like, will Michigan state win?
Which was just not interesting to them.
So anyway, I kept going to these gambling streams and I was like, I don't know what
to say.
So Brandon and I are just like fucking off in the background.
So anyway, Penn, Penn was like, we, we, we need to get you gambling so you can talk to
Dave and Dan about your bets.
They put five, they set up an account put five hundred dollars in the account I started using
that I got it up to like almost a thousand then I tried to withdraw it and they just zeroed out
the account so like throughout March Madness I took my account from 500 to like a thousand
and then like somewhere in like mid-April I was like I should just cash that out right
and I went to cash it out and then just like you know just completely like it was like a
fucking booby trap it just like slapped shut it was like zero that's awesome good for them um
good for them yeah so yeah there you go sass's first bet was uh nate diaz yeah yeah i showed
sass how to place a bet. Yeah, in Phoenix last year.
Made $60.
Then you were hooked.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's big Logan Paul fight tomorrow.
Is it tomorrow finally?
Oh, that's tomorrow?
Against the Dylan Dane.
Yeah, I thought it was way in the future.
Is that dude fighting?
I still don't think it's going to happen.
Zahn and TJ were like,
I feel like it's been like five years
that they've been promoting him.
He choked out a woman yesterday.
Yeah, he did.
I did.
I saw that.
Who?
He was in a fight at the press conference. Dylan just now they did is it real or fake i mean
oh oh shit holy fuck oh shit oh shit that was a real haymaker that he threw
oh shit that's disrespectful these guys they've thrown sunglasses at each other. Oh, shit.
Damn.
That's disrespectful.
These guys flat out do not like each other.
Can you go back real quick?
What sunglasses was he wearing in that pic?
Oh.
3D glasses.
Yeah, they are.
With like a red teardrop?
You think there's anyone who... Those look like shit.
Those are terrible.
Terrible.
Has there been anyone...
They look like they're in movie glasses.
Has there ever been anyone that's fought and has been like,
I actually don't hate you.
I'm just doing this.
Yeah, fighters do it all the time.
Yeah, but those fights don't sell.
Yeah, I guess that's true.
Do you think they actually hate each other?
Yes.
No?
You think?
Yeah, this guy's been trying to ruin his marriage.
Yeah, I guess that's true.
It's got to be frustrating.
Twitter has sucked for three months.
But they agreed to fight,
and I guess they agreed to just throw it all out there
and be dickheads to each other.
Frustrating is such a bad word to use there.
After it's over, you think they're...
I said, that's got to be frustrating?
Yeah.
Logan Paul's like, this is really pissing me off.
This is annoying.
Yeah, this is annoying the hell out of me.
Honey, you just tweeted a picture of your titty.
Yeah. What a jerk the hell out of me. Honey, you just tweeted a picture of your titty. Yeah.
What a jerk.
What a douche.
Nick, do the high noon.
What about Sassy?
He does it for old times.
Sassy, you want to do the high noon?
I'm not on the show anymore, so no.
Oh, you're right.
There you are on the logo, bottom left.
Plus, if Sassy does it, I'll be in the shot. Oh, shit, you're right. There you are on the logo, bottom left.
Plus if Sans says it, I'll be in the shot.
Oh, shit, you're right.
That's why I had to move seats.
It's time to load up on the ice and break out the oversized long games because the High Noon Game Day Pack, it's back.
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I like the pear and the cranberry and the black cherry and the grapefruit.
Personally.
I didn't mean to play that.
I was laughing at that he listed every flavor.
Thanks, man. What did you play? I don't know what that was it just came up porno porno i've never been caught watching porn i got caught when i was in i don't know if i was
in college or high school but i remember my phone i was using my dad's headphones for something a while ago and then my head my
phone connected to my dad's headphones when he was in his room and i he never directly told me that
but i remember then something else happened later in the day when they connected again he was like
your phone keeps connecting to my headphones and i was like well the last time
i was home i was watching porn no i didn't say that but i was thinking it and then since then
like i never have i turn my bluetooth off every time i'm home yeah that's dangerous because it'll
connect to the car like it'll connect to my parents car when they turn their car on
just watching porn and then like the thing is if you're watching it and notice I'm in landscape, of course.
And you don't hear anything.
Yeah.
You try to turn it up.
You're turning it up.
Oh, yeah.
Instantly.
That's the first move.
Oh, I've had so many people.
Because I always use a little Bose speaker around the house.
Oh, yeah.
If I were to watch such a thing.
Sure. That's what would play. If you were, yeah. If I were to watch such a thing. Sure.
That's what would play.
If you were a guy.
If I was a dude.
Yeah, it's bad.
What were you saying?
I've never been caught watching, but I remember going home into my childhood bedroom.
Yeah.
And you use a tissue.
Oh, yeah.
And it's the only fucking tissue in the trash can.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's like, oh, my mom knows I'm fucking jerking off.
Yeah, 100%.
My parents had to have been curious
that I was taking
like four showers a day.
Yeah.
Because I wasn't
particularly active.
No.
Or when I would just go
and take like a two-hour shit.
Yeah, with my PSA.
Yeah.
Like when you're that young,
your shits should be
like 20 seconds long.
You're not sitting on there
trying to squeeze out
a fucking old man turd I
Used to always assume that like because there would be a certain rustling noise coming from my room
And I lived in a very old house growing up, but you could hear everything yeah
And then you stop and then it's just silent
And you're like that must have just been
non-stop noise for 10 minutes only hear this in my room yeah yeah i think i jerked off to uh home
goods one time in my bathroom home goods yeah like a magazine magazine oh yeah that's just like
decor is it not yeah it was just in the bathroom you needed did something like i didn't have it
i think my eye are you looking at like the potted plants I didn't have it. I think my eye touch was like.
Were you looking at the potted plants, like Georgia O'Keeffe?
I think I was trying to find some cleavage wherever I could.
Yeah.
And yeah, that was probably one of the first times I jerked off.
I tried to draw a pussy once.
It did not look good.
Dude, speaking of Georgia O'Keeffe, my new apartment is the walls are filled with Georgia O'Keeffe paintings.
Like in the lobby.
Yeah.
Everywhere.
Just Georgia O'Keeffe.
And I didn't know.
And then someone was like, yeah, these are pussies.
Everywhere.
Yeah.
All of them are pussies.
Yeah.
Hmm.
What did your first drawn pussy look like?
Yeah, I'd be very curious.
So I tried to draw it from behind, actually.
From behind.
No way.
Was there a butthole?
That's what I wanted to jerk off to.
Oh, man.
Start fucking the paper.
Was it a good ass?
Yeah.
I think the ass would be more important in that situation.
I wanted the pussy.
That's crazy. that's i was desperate
what did you what were you using before then the psp you said psp um and then before that it was
like that brick breaker game i've talked about that yeah was there like a pussy you had in mind
no i had never seen because you'd never seen one so Because you had never seen one. So you were really just. It was all from like photos of Googling pussy.
It was horizontal.
I just didn't have access to it.
I thought that the pussy was at penis level until I was weirdly old.
You thought it was in the front.
Yeah, I thought it was like just right here.
Yeah, no, I thought it was direct.
Yeah.
Direct like an outlet.
It's not.
No.
It'll shock you.
It isn't.
That thing's buried buried lower than you think
yeah it's pretty much in the asshole they're way closer than you can imagine
they're just right there next door neighbors oh yeah that's that's a neighbor that you go over
and you go hey do you have any cream? Yeah. We just ran out.
I've knocked on the wrong door before.
Dick don't ditch.
Oh, fuck, oh, fuck.
Woo-hoo.
I got thrown out like DJ Jazzy Jack.
MTV. DJ Jazzy Jacket. MTV, welcome to my crib.
Let me give you a little tour.
Oh, shit.
Kate?
I don't know what to say.
Okay.
Kate, are you...
It's crazy that they're so close,
and still I'm just like, I'm choosing the gross one.
I'm going to try for the gross one.
It doesn't work.
The gross one as in what?
Which one's the gross one?
Let you guys decide.
I hope this will make me, like, a cool...
I'm going to be a boy mom
two boys it'll definitely have the complete
opposite effect the amount of
you guys just do what you need
when they're in high school
no this has been
eye opening thank you
you're gonna run through
tissues fast yeah
it won't even be that though
it'll be like underwear a lot of crusty
underwear that's how it starts yeah yeah it's not gonna be tissues i mean jerk off tech in the
future will be insane yeah yeah we don't even know what they're gonna be jerking off into who knows
would you guys are like a spitter? Ew. No.
Nope.
I don't know.
A spitter?
That's disgusting.
No, you use the same cum rag for years on end.
That would be gross to use that. He in bottles all the time.
And then you take it and you just throw it as far as you can.
Get it away from me.
You just toss it into the corner of your room and then later
on later on the evening you got your
underwear around your ankles and you
got a waddle over to the corner of your
room to try and find it pick it up and
it fucking crumbles hard there's dust
all over it
I say it's like a one and you go and then you rinse it out in the sink or There's dust all over it. Oh.
I was going to say, it's like a one and done.
And then you rinse it out in the sink or something later,
and then you use it again.
It never gets rinsed. It never gets rinsed.
Yeah.
OK.
Much less gross than a spitter.
I mean, come on.
A spitter would be disgusting.
I just have a cum corner.
Cum corner.
Very hygienic, for sure.
Sad plant.
I'll lay down like hamster bedding.
Freshen it up.
I forget who I was listening to, but they were like, yeah, whenever I go to hotels, I just jerk off on the wall.
Ew.
Hotels are gross.
That's the most disgusting thing you could do.
Yeah, that's one of.
Fucked up.
Why would you do that?
They were just like, yeah, because
I can. I guess.
You could jerk off at your wall technically
at home as well. I guess you don't want
to fuck up your walls. Does that fuck up the paint?
I don't know.
Giant cum stain on your wall.
You call a painter in?
Yeah, sorry.
Got a lot of cum on the wall.
Something's wrong with my walls.
I don't know what the
hell's going on. They turned me the fuck on.
Honey, have you seen my cum spitter?
Oh, ew, dude.
That is so gross.
It is nasty.
Somebody out there has one.
There's a guy on 4chan that used an empty CD case,
like the ones where you buy blank CDs.
Yeah, I've seen that.
It's disgusting.
What do you mean?
It's disgusting.
He's trying to make a bunt cake.
There's plenty of viral pictures of people submerging things
in jars of cum.
Ew.
I don't like that. My Little Pony toys.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's a whole genre,
right?
What's your favorite birthday present ever?
I got a
My Little Pony one.
Bedazzled.
Honestly, I will say,
when I got the My Little Pony toy as a child,
I didn't think it would last me
this long that gift held up it's like an amazon review this thing has been with me forever I think
there's somebody on etsy that like shaves like that that carves like assholes into them and stuff
like oh really yours in yeah that's a good career choice yeah yeah Yeah I'm fucking slammed today
10 new toys just got in
You think you can have a normal life
If you have a job like that?
No
No?
No
No
That's gotta be like a secret job
Yeah
Your entire day is
How can I make these guys cum?
Yeah but that's a lot of people's entire day
That's pretty much our entire day Like I don't know How can I make these guys come? Yeah, but that's a lot of people's entire day. That's pretty much our entire day.
I don't know.
How can I make these guys laugh?
But instead, they're coming, which
debatably is better.
No, it's just better. Yeah, it's way better.
In an ideal. That's an honorable
position.
He'd be the biggest in the world. Matt Reif.
And he is the biggest in the world.
Yeah, everybody come how many
orgasms do you think he's actually given in mid-show it's got to be one a show at least
yeah see the good-looking guy oh yeah do people like him or people are like yeah people love him
yeah okay i've never met him but from what i've heard everyone says he's a nice guy
you know the clip of uh schwarzenegger
talking about lifting weights and he's just says the pump is like it's coming i'm just coming i'm
coming in the morning i'm coming at night in the morning i think he forgot what's coming
we were talking yesterday off air is it the best that's the best feeling of something expelling
from you what's the second best?
A really good shit.
Better than like a burp when you have to?
Or better than like a double snap pimple?
Yes.
I think a sneeze is up there too.
A sneeze is up there.
I had a shit.
Oh, and a drunk piss.
Yeah, that's good.
That is true.
I had a shit a while ago that I thought about for like a week straight.
Because I was like that was
Just like so much relief
Dude it was crazy. I was at the stand
and I had a stomach I'd such a bad stomach ache and then I shit and it was just like just
just bliss Like while shitting or after work after just like I felt so good. like it like instantly makes you feel better i felt so empty yeah i very rarely feel and so then you thought about it like every
day for i thought about it for like a long time like texted my friends if you could go back in
time would you choose that day to relive probably yeah it was a great day you have a phase of your
life where you took pictures of your shits? Yeah. Are we still in that phase?
No.
I'm out of it.
I sent one to the... I wasn't expecting you to chat.
I heard a woman's voice.
The tiniest, tiniest, tiniest.
Oh, those are funny.
And it was so funny that I couldn't help it.
And I was like, I can't just let this go.
Someone has to see it.
So I sent it to a couple of my friends.
Have you ever seen the episode of South Park where the dad takes one and he like, stand, get in here.
You got to see this.
The only time I've ever taken a photo is when it's like shockingly long.
Yeah, wraps around the.
Yeah.
Do you send it to anyone or it's like, this is just for me to long. Yeah, it wraps around the toilet. Do you send it to anyone
or it's like this is just for me to remember?
Yeah, I send that out instantly.
I have somewhere I get up and look at it because I'm so
disgusted at myself.
I've always thought about that.
Are there people that don't look at it?
You gotta look at it every time. I have not seen my
poop in years. That's crazy. You have to
see your poop. You gotta look. I flush as soon as
For health reasons.
Not even curiosity.
What if you're just shitting blood like crazy?
I flush as soon as it hits the water.
I flush four or five times during a poop.
So you shit the turd,
flush, shit the turd, flush, shit the turd,
flush, then wipe and flush. I don't want to see it, smell it.
As little as possible.
Sometimes I'll sit through the smell because I'm like,
I need to see what this looks like. Zero contact between me and my poop.
Huh.
I think you have to, I think for
health reasons you should pay attention to your poop.
I know I'm not healthy, but what's the poop gonna tell me?
That you're way more unhealthy
than you thought you were? Your poop might just be
straight up blood.
I had an appointment a week ago where the lady was
like, here's a chart, and it was like 15
different turds
Like all different guys. She's like what are yours looking like and instead of like the real answer
I was like what's the coolest most looking turd on?
like that normal one just because they are
What's the cool kids are going I'm the chick with the cool turds.
She's got that cool shit, man.
Yeah, just the plain one, just the normal one.
Because there was some really weird shits on that.
The most concerned I ever was was when I was drinking a lot of Guinness,
and it came out just jet black.
Oh, yeah.
And then I looked that up, and it was like, yeah, that means you're dying.
Your liver.
Yeah, and then it was like, no, it's just because it was the Guinness.
Oh.
Which was good.
Cleared that up i saw a turd in new york city that looked like i it's on my twitter somewhere but i thought it
was a brick of charcoal yeah and it was actually that's an opioid shit yeah opioid shits are
rock hard because they get constipated yeah opioids like suck the liquid out of all of your
body yeah and so their shits are like the exact mold of their intestines.
It was the craziest shit I've ever seen.
I saw something about Pompeii that it's not actually the people in ash.
Yeah.
The people of Pompeii filled up the ash, the dead people, with plaster after they were vaporized.
And so it's not real.
Maybe I'm dumb.
Wait, say that again? there's like a chart i saw so the guys i've been following for a lot of fake shit recently perfectly um like the crawling guy yeah the the perfectly preserved
guy from pompeii is not real like well he is real they came across covered in ash and then it was
drying and they filled up that with plaster i guess they like opened his mouth and poured no no no i think like they were he was covered in ash hardened but it was drying and they filled up that with plaster, I guess. They like opened his mouth and poured
No, no, no. I think like he was covered in ash
hardened, but then his body probably burnt.
Oh, it was decomposed by now.
Yeah, so they fill it in like a
I think that's, I don't know if it's true or not.
It kind of ruined Pompeii for me. Do you know that aliens
in Mexico were cake? There are no
bodies, but there were plaster casts
of bodies. You dog. Space left
behind with hardened ash. Oh, they were.
Were they? The Mexican aliens
were cake. No, they weren't. So...
That was fake, too. So why did they do this? Just for...
I don't know, Pop. I don't know why they do it.
Are you tripping again?
TJ showed me a video
of the aliens being cake today, and I liked it.
You fell for that. I didn't fall for it. I just liked it.
I wanted to fall for it. I wanted them to be cake.
I want everything to be cake.
Look, look.
They're cake.
That might just be you.
That's the alien in Mexico.
God damn.
That's breaking news.
That looks good.
Alien revealed his cake.
Looks delicious.
Yeah, like a butterscotch.
I want cake, too.
Here's a good looking cake.
I want cake, too, now.
Oh, yeah.
Tres leches.
I want alien cake.'s a good looking cake I want cake too now oh yeah Tres Leches I want alien cake stop being fat Brandon
damn Brandon
damn
you gonna take that
yeah
yeah I am
maybe you should listen to him
maybe I should
just stop
just stop being fat why just stop no I'm good have you been to the gym yet that you joined Maybe I should. Just stop. Stop what?
Just stop.
Being fat.
Well, why?
Just stop.
No, I'm good.
Have you been to the gym yet that you joined?
Yes.
I walked a couple miles two Tuesdays ago.
There you go.
That's good.
All right.
Yeah, so.
Frank, the tank's been going on his walks.
He's been on 13 or 14 in a row now.
Jinx just getting everybody in shape.
Yeah. He's working out mincey, too. Yeah. Jinx just getting everybody in shape. Yeah.
He's working out Mincy, too.
Yeah, via Zoom.
Yeah, they had their second workout today.
I think their first was three weeks ago.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which is, like I said, I worked out two Tuesdays ago.
Me and Mince alternate days of the month.
That's fair.
Yeah.
He goes the first Monday.
I go the third Wednesday.
Are you and Mincy cool?
Yeah, we're fine. Me and everybody are cool. I'm cool with everybody. Good. Yeah. He goes the first Monday. I go the third Wednesday. Are you and Mincy cool? Yeah, we're fine.
Me and everybody are cool.
I'm cool with everybody.
Good.
Yeah.
Did he get a place here yet?
Or he's still looking?
No, I don't think he's going to.
Maybe January.
Oh, okay.
He just signed his contract.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Was he under a contract before?
I don't know.
It's all relative.
Damn straight.
Thanks, Lance.
Oh, dude, I had my dozen match come out last night.
I've been getting screenshots of you.
Were you too close to the camera?
I was just way too close to the camera.
Yeah, the entire time.
Oh, no, butthole eyes.
That is so bad.
Oh, Mook, you look tired in that photo.
I'm fucking exhausted.
You look way older. Is this one of those Pompeii festers? Iook, you look tired in that book. I'm fucking exhausted. You look way older.
Is this one of those Pompeii clusters?
I mean, look, that's bad lighting, but I am exhausted.
That is.
It looks like you got someone peeing the shit out of you.
Yeah.
That's disgusting, man.
Oh, fuck off.
I've been grinding, dude.
Why does it look like the purple is dripping down
Off the side of your left eye
Get out of here
Yeah the dark circles under his eyes were like
Someone's gotta fucking edit the podcast
I don't know man
I'm tired
How'd you guys do?
We won
So are you in the league? I'm in the play-in tournament I don't know what any. I'm tired. How'd you guys do? We won. So are you in the league?
I'm in the play-in tournament.
I don't know what any of that means.
Neither do I.
I don't think Jeff knows what it means.
I think they're all playing, and it's ultimately going to be a fan vote.
So if you win, I'm not sure it matters.
Is half of it fan vote?
There's eight teams playing.
Yep.
Each team plays twice.
The teams that win move on to the second round of the play-in tournament.
The teams that win that make it.
So three teams make it from that.
And then one of the eight teams is pure fan vote.
So they could go 0-2 and score zero points and make the league.
Jeff's number one fetish is trivia competitions where he's the only person on earth that knows how it works.
Yes.
Yeah.
Also, scoring is down to the hundredth now. Is it? Trivia competitions where he's the only person on earth that knows how it works. Yes. Yeah.
Also, scoring is down to the hundredth now.
Is it?
I think like Kelly Keeg scored like 13.67.
I scored 3.33, I believe.
Yeah.
All right.
It's your show, Brandon.
That's what you say all the time.
I haven't heard from him. You say this is your show.
You know, I've let him borrow it for a while.
We'll see how he returns it to me.
What kind of shape he returns it to me in November.
Are you still on the same team or did you get traded?
Why would I ever get traded?
I thought there was movement.
No, there is movement.
I thought you were like teaming up with Kirk or some shit.
No, we're the experts.
We're the main team.
PFT and Fran try to poach me.
Say psych.
Psych. Psych.
Okay.
I was shocked my team won yesterday.
You guys are good.
I think you're well spread out.
You were decent, but I go 0 for regularly on the daily dozen.
Like just 0 for 12.
How did you do on PokeDuke?
Google them like everybody else does and put the screenshot out.
Like Captain Collins.
Nah, I can't do that.
Brandon, did you do PokeDuke today?
I didn't do PokeDoku today or any day.
What's Pokedoku?
Glad you asked.
That's the Pokemon daily grid.
Pretty easy, actually.
It was a good one today.
Yeah.
So not bad.
I don't even know what a single thing is.
Fuck this up.
Well, one of them is a dragon.
Electric dragon is Pikachu, obviously.
That's just straight up electric.
Obviously.
Electric baby is Pikachu.
Yeah.
Close.
I think electric poison is also, is it Pikachu?
Nah, nah, nah.
Fighting dragon is Charizard.
Yes.
A Pichu, yeah.
Do fighting dragon Charizard, please.
He's not a fighting dragon.
Ooh.
You just.
That's where I get my China food from not Fighting dragon. Oh you just that's where I get my china food from fighting
What was the what was the name of your guys like local Chinese restaurant chungs garden chungs garden
Chungs guard we had to we had silver chopsticks and golden chopsticks hated each other. Oh, shit. I had Osaka, Sushi Man, and China Delight.
Starkville had China Royale, and it was good as fuck.
That does sound good. We had Sangs.
Sangs?
Yeah.
With a T.
Oh!
Yeah.
In Philly, I had Golden Panda as well.
Golden Panda.
Chung's Garden has been in business in West Point, Mississippi,
town of 8,000, for 35 years.
How is it?
Exactly how you would expect a West Point, Mississippi,
Chinese place to be, but it somehow just keeps going.
My buddy, Vincent Gu, seven-foot-tall Chinese guy on my lacrosse team,
he tried to open up a Chinese restaurant in Pittsburgh called Gu's Palace,
but I think it was a COVID fatality.
Gu's Palace is going to have a tough time yeah what was it in brownsburg we didn't have one what no uh chinese we're not welcome chinese
we're not welcome in henricks county indiana i never had it no i don't know i don't i don't
know what our restaurant was i didn't i'm struggling to find like a good one here
like you know my favorite decompression thing is struggling to find like a good one here.
Like, you know, my favorite decompression thing is just to like watch a rom-com and eat orange chicken.
Yeah, me too, man.
And it's just, yeah, it's the best.
What's your, give me your go-to rom-com with your go-to chicken. On Sunday, I watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
That's classic.
And then did Orange Chicken, a little bit of Rangoon Action.
I feel like Sarah Marshall leans more towards the calm and less of the rom.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The calm or the calm?
The calm.
The calm.
The calm.
There's a lot of romance in there.
A lot of calm in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Not as much rom.
There is some rom.
There's full frontal in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, right?
Yeah.
Jason Segel.
Male full frontal.
Yeah.
He's dick a lot.
Flap. We were talking about this earlier. We're going to date with Tad Hamilton. Great Jason Segel. Maleful. Yeah. He's dick a lot, yeah. Flap.
We were talking about this earlier,
but Win a Date with Tad Hamilton,
great rom-com, nobody talks about it.
No, it's not great.
Wait, what's it called?
Because Topher Grace was a dickhead,
and he should not have ended up with Kate Boswell.
So you're saying Tad Hamilton should have got the girl?
Tad Hamilton was the better guy.
Tad Hamilton was a fine guy, but he didn't love her.
Dude.
He didn't love her. He loved the idea of her. Look how fucking Topher Grace acted. You know, he was a better guy. Tad Hamilton was a fine guy, but he didn't love her. Dude. He didn't love her.
He loved the idea of her.
Look how fucking Topher Grace acted.
You know, he was a spoiled brat.
When was the last time you watched her?
When was the last time you watched her?
Love made him be that.
No, it was lust.
You think?
Yeah.
It was prime Bosworth.
Well, that's what got into Tad Hamilton.
What was that stuff?
Once they got in the plane, he knew.
She was lusting after him.
But he knew they weren't a match.
He knew.
They were perfect. Tadilton was the better guy meanwhile pete pete absolutely loved
her tad hamilton was the better guy if you watch it tonight don't touch me just call me touch me
sometimes okay blue crush that's what i'm thinking of kate bosworth was in that too right yeah that's
a cute way have you ever seen that she was in the superman reboot oh i didn't know that wasn't she
in a superman she was Lois Lane.
She was like one of my first wallpapers on my iPhone.
She has two different colored eyes, right?
Does she?
Really?
Or at least in Blue Cross she does.
That's Max Scherzer, I believe.
Ah.
I always get them.
That's Max Scherzer.
You might be thinking of Max Scherzer.
Cy Young, award-winning pitcher noted nut
job max scherzer she's out of my league was also a good rom-com yeah it's a great one yeah that was
a good one well you talk about some titties pittsburgh boys the holland cover bands a very
big uh slept on one is that awkward moment i I didn't like it Zac Efron Michael B and
Adam Devine no
I don't know. I didn't I didn't uh miles teller miles teller
Huh, I didn't quite like that one as much crazy stupid love is number one crazy stupid love is great
So funny how to lose guys days. I hate them why well,? the movie's awesome Gosling's charming
10 things I hate about you is one
and also how to lose a guy in 10 days
that's with McConaughey
what's the one with Lainey Briggs
she's all that
oh yeah
I was thinking I'm not another teen movie
it was Lainey Boggs
Lainey Boggs
and then No Strings Attached
and Friends With Benefits
are just the same movie.
Yeah.
Friends With Benefits sucked.
Is that Timberlake in?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's all right.
I like Kutcher more.
Yeah, me too.
What's the one here in Chicago
with he's tall,
he was in Wedding Crashers,
and then Jennifer Aniston.
The Breakup.
The Breakup is a good one.
Breakup's good.
That one will get you right
in the strings.
It's not really a happy ending in that one.
That was like 2006
I want to say. I went and saw that with my high school
girlfriend and then we had been dating
You were out of high school. Way out of high school.
Yeah.
We were
17 years old. I was my high school girlfriend.
My high school sweetheart
This sophomore I was dating
I remember we left the theater
And we'd been dating
For like four years
And she goes
That's us
And I was like
What?
Breakup
I was like
So are we breaking up?
She's like no no no
I just thought like that was us
And I was like
That seems like
Oh yeah
Did you dump her ass?
No No They stopped that reaction Oh, yeah. Did you dump her ass? No.
I'm assuming no.
They stopped that reaction.
Oh, my God.
Did you miss her?
I should call her.
Did you guys break up?
That's a kick in the dick, though.
You see a movie called The Breakup.
Yeah.
And it was a nice little date night, a little dinner in the movie.
And then she's like, yeah, that's us.
I was like, okay.
Yeah, that's never a good one.
That's not something you want to hear after a movie like that.
I saw Sid and Nancy in there.
Oh, 500 Days of Summer.
That's a good one.
That's a good one.
That's a good plane movie.
That's a sad one, right?
Or not a sad one, but that's one.
That one's heavy on the calm.
But that's not like a, it's the girl one. It's not even a sad one, but that's one. That one's heavy on the calm. But that's not like a, yeah, it's the girl one.
There's tons of ROM.
It's all about ROM.
It's dependent ROM.
It starts with the ROM and ends with the.
Does it matter if the ROM's in it?
It's still ROM.
I think it has to end ROM-ly.
It does end ROM-ly.
I love you, man.
I love you, man.
It's good, too.
That's more calm than ROM.
That's more calm.
What's the perfect 50-50 split of Rom and
Calm? I love you, man's
a bromance. Yeah.
It's not even about the woman.
It's a bro-com.
Huh. 50-50 split?
When Harry Met Sally, it's too much Rom.
Too much Rom. Right? Too much Rom. Sleepless in Seattle,
too much Rom. Way too much Rom. Wedding Crashers
has a good... Wedding Crashers is pretty much ROM Wedding Crashers has a good Cause the
Wedding Crashers
Is pretty serious
Wedding Crashers is pretty heavy
On the COM though
People debate if that's even a ROM COM
Yeah
I think that's just straight up comedy
Pardon me
It's okay
What about Knocked Up
That's heavy ROM
Oh
All those were heavy COM
But that's heavy ROM
All Judd Apatow was
Pretty heavy ROM
40 year old version
Heavy COM
That was a closer Than That was closer than Knocked Up, I think.
Huh.
Huh.
Huh.
Huh.
Now you say it.
Huh.
I'll do it.
Huh.
You know what I think should count as a rom-com?
What?
A Knight's Tale.
I agree.
And I love that movie.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a good one.
That's a very good movie.
Yeah.
I watch that one often. Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh. It's a good one. That's a very good movie. Yeah. Yeah. I watch that one often.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Oh, another slept on one is This Is 40 with Rudd and Leslie Mann.
Oh, yeah.
I've seen that.
That's another Jedi.
That one's really good.
That one's funny.
I've seen that one a lot, yeah.
Huh.
50 First Dates.
Sad.
It is sad.
Kind of.
But it's wrong.
Yeah, it is wrong.
That one's not great, actually.
Okay.
Just go with it.
I actually love that one.
No, I'm looking up all the rom-coms.
It's Sandler and Aniston, and who's the hot young chick?
With the big bags.
Big bags.
Oh, is that Brooklyn Decker?
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Palm Springs.
Have you guys seen Palm Springs?
It's a good one.
Yeah, that's Sandler. What a serve on antibiotic. What a serve. Palm Springs. Have you guys seen Palm Springs? It's a good one. Yeah, that's a...
What a serve on antibiotic. What a serve.
I couldn't return it. No.
Did you see Trump returning Serena Williams?
Holy shit! What?
She's gonna run back mostly sports.
Oh, yeah. No, did y'all see?
Did y'all for real see Trump returning?
No, I didn't see it again.
Oh, that was that long. I thought that was like...
No, I've never seen this. I had never seen it.
And it's one of my favorite clips I've ever seen. So impressive.
Watch this.
It looks like a sketch.
Whatever you expect.
Oh, no.
All right, Serena Williams with the serve.
She's serving it, and then.
Holy shit.
I did not see that coming.
What a forehand.
Watch this.
Watch this.
It was good to see him out there.
And the fans seemed to enjoy it.
Fucking winners.
Oh, my goodness.
Our greatest living comedian, Donald Trump.
That was impressive.
I did not expect that.
TJ, you want to spin the wheel?
Huh. I forgot to do the parking. TJ, you want to spin the wheel? Huh.
I forgot to do the parking.
Oh, now.
I'm going to have a ticket.
Oh, fuck.
They don't tow, do they?
No, they just give you a ticket.
No, they'll ticket you, though.
That's fine.
I forgot it.
Hours.
Reset.
Oh, Kate, that is the darkest turd I've ever seen.
Yeah.
Yep.
Not hers, but it's what she has.
I think that might be burnt.
Yes.
Well, I couldn't tell, but I thought.
But people said, no, that's like what drug shits look like.
I said, I don't know.
Here?
Yeah.
Or your apartment.
Peaches said, all of our AC units will be shut down for deep cleaning tomorrow.
That might be for New York.
Well, it's getting cool out.
Those surviving barstool guys must have fucked that office up.
I heard the AC guy was hanging out at the office. Oh, yeah. He loves to. cool out. Those surviving barstool guys must have fucked that office up.
The AC guy was hanging out at the office. Oh yeah, he loves to.
That's two resets.
Double reset.
Double reset. Third one.
Somebody has to get naked.
We're not adding pumpkin butt
to the wheel.
Oh shit.
Are people still really passionate about the wheel. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Are people still really passionate about the wheel?
They've gotten considerably less passionate about the yak since we moved to Chicago.
Oh, okay.
Fill off.
No, they're very passionate about everything.
This show added a couple new guys, and they fucking suck.
Luke and Titus don't get it.
Titus, I thought you got it.
I started out hot.
I ran out of material real fast.
They liked him until they found out that he was replacing you.
Yeah.
Yeah, what can you do?
I think they love me now.
Can't all be winners.
The chat loves me now.
They came up with a code to say how much they love me.
They put L Titus.
Does it love Titus?
Love. Yeah. They tried to do thatitus. Does it love Titus? Love.
Yeah.
They tried to do that for me, but it really didn't work.
Lass?
Yeah, they would do Lass. Girl.
Yeah.
Girl.
So.
Jossie, did we talk about Bigfoot yesterday?
No.
Did we try to do Pokey Dooku yet?
Yeah, we have.
Yeah.
Okay.
Did you guys guess Toxtricity for Poison and Okay
That's what I would have guessed
You could give us the answers
And then we could debate
Where in the grid they go
Oh that's a good idea
You know what I mean
You could say
Yeah say the
Say the answer
And we'll
We'll debate
Yeah say an answer
And we'll try to figure out
Where on the grid
It's supposed to go
Yeah
Nick did you see that video
Of those two cops
Ignoring the big call
because they were playing Pokemon?
I sure did, yeah.
I get it.
Sure you got tagged in like a million times.
I have emulators with like Super Nintendo and Game Boy Advance and all that,
and my middle son, who I've never named on the show,
disappears into my basement every day and plays the old Pokemon games from the 90s
every day.
They're great. There's a certain charm to them, a je ne sais quoi. Yeah. to my basement every day and plays the old Pokemon games from the 90s every day. And he loves them.
There's a certain charm to them.
A je ne sais quoi.
Yeah.
So with the French call,
I don't know what.
I don't know what that means.
Yeah.
It's the first time
I think I've used it.
All right, so give us an answer.
Togepi.
Togepi.
I'm thinking Togepi.
That sounds like a baby name.
Togepi.
I'm going to go baby
and I'm going to go...
Poison.
I'd like to know what Joht joe joe's a region that's
would be gen 2 the second generation of pokemon so it's an electric fighting or joe i'm gonna say
that's the joe to baby what does the right mean the unique 900.0 we'll worry about that later
that's that's just the grid brandon you're right oh hey oh oh i see yeah yeah okay holy i just nailed
that shit that's just nailed that shit.
That just updates the score in real time on the right?
Give us another answer.
Okay. Got it.
Zekrom.
Zekrom.
That sounds electric.
That's electric.
Poison?
It doesn't sound like a dragon, and it doesn't sound like a baby.
Zekrom.
You think that's an electric poison?
That sounds like an electric poison.
That sounds electric poison.
Electric poison.
Let's do Zekrom.
Well, you can look at it too.
Uh-oh.
Oh, shit.
That's a dragon.
That looks electric.
That could be still.
Or is that a poison?
That's not a baby.
That's a dragon.
That's a dragon.
Electric dragon.
Zekrom?
Yeah.
Let's go.
All right.
Come on, boys.
Let's go, boys.
Fuck yeah. We know Pokeball.ball yeah we do um we know ball these are three guys who know ball let's go crowbat crowbat okay crowbat
is definitely a fighter crowbat it's a dragon too i think it's a dragon a joe toe dragon but it could
be a baby he might be i think nick might be going for the tic-tac-toe finish on us,
and it might be a fighting poison.
Crobat?
You think Crobat's a fighting poison, you fucking idiot?
You see?
Are you serious?
Oh, Nicky's smirking over there.
But that wouldn't be a dragon.
So it's a baby.
It's a baby.
It's a baby.
It's a baby.
It's a baby.
Fighting baby.
Fighting baby.
Fighting baby.
Fighting baby. Crobat. Fighting baby Crobat. What? What? Oh, you're right. Sorry. I'm getting there. It wasn't a baby. It's a baby. It's a baby. It's a baby. Fighting baby. Fighting baby. Fighting baby. Fighting baby.
Fighting baby crowbat.
What?
What?
What?
Oh, you're right.
Sorry.
I'm getting.
It wasn't a dragon.
It's a bat.
I got my wires crossed.
Oh, no.
Oh, what is it, Nick?
That's Johto poison.
Oh, no.
I knew it was a poison.
Y'all taught me how to poison.
It's a bat.
Bats are poison.
Oh.
Um, fuck. Uh, I'm going gonna say this wrong komo oh komo oh yeah komo well
that would be a dragon that's supposed to komodo can you say it right i cannot okay that would be
there's like a space komo komo ho oh oh that's a fighting dragon komono dragon i. That's a fighting dragon. Kimono dragon. I think it's a Jotu dragon.
But it might be a fighting dragon.
Yeah.
There you go.
Look how sweet that looks.
That's a beautiful dragon.
Ty Rogue.
Ty Rogue.
That's just a character from that book you read.
Very good.
I mean, you could start with this one. That's the neighbor in that whole book. Very good.
I mean, you could... That's...
If Tyrogue was in that book,
what would he be on here?
That's a baby.
That's a fighting baby.
That's a fighting baby.
That's a fighting baby.
That's a fighting baby.
We're not...
We're kind of killing it.
We're kind of killing it.
Kingdra. Kingdra killing it. Kingdra.
Kingdra?
Yeah.
Kingdra.
Kingdra.
Yeah.
That's a Johto dragon.
Johto dragon.
That's your Johto dragon?
That's your Johto dragon.
Kingdra.
Kingdra.
Does it look like a dragon?
Yeah, dude.
Y'all dorks for real.
This is embarrassing.
Is this my new dozen niche?
All right.
Your hymen is like growing back.
We done?
Yeah, we have to keep doing this.
All right.
Y'all want to get on out of here?
You always do, man.
You always do.
No, I don't.
I can't wait to get out of here.
I hate when people say that.
Why are you always the one that wants to get out of here?
You are here every day.
Not many are.
I opened it. I brought it it in i i gotta take it out
i don't know when to time it perfectly but you always you always tell t when big cat's not here
you're always the one that's been you a seven day a week guy but i'm trying to run this i'm trying
to to run point he's at host mode are you trying to get out of it are you trying to get out of the
co i'm trying to go get a dj more jersey he's trying to go to get a dj more are you trying to
get out of the co is my question are you trying to make it be big cat bfw and co because it feels like you're trying to work your
way out of the co we could pull if big cat's not here i i do get pulled out now you think it should
be bfw and co yep that's what i'm trying to do all right well we'll we'll talk about this more
tomorrow you know you know what we'll just got into we'll talk about this more tomorrow on the
act is he officially co are you co you might not even be co i might not even be co talking what are
mook and i co and co you're not are we lowercase co pond scum brother his ass is still co you go
yeah you're co's co we're the co's co we're the co's co all right go buy your dj more jersey
let's see your DJ Morgerson. That's a yeah. Bye.