The Yak - The Barstool Chicago Office Has a MAJOR Tea Problem | The Yak 10-12-23

Episode Date: October 12, 2023

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, pull that up. What do you mean, last night? Hot tea, like, that's a crazy thing to assume. I think that's a crazy thing to just have at the office for you, hot tea. I'm not asking for pre-made hot tea. I'm talking about, like, the packets of tea. Oh, I felt like you were asking for it. You thought I was going to come in and there was going to be like cups waiting for me to
Starting point is 00:00:45 sip tea out of? I felt like that's what he was going for. Since when are you a tea guy? All the time. I have a sore throat. I've never seen you have tea. I've never seen you have tea. Because it looks like I'm drinking coffee.
Starting point is 00:00:53 You've never had tea. No, because you have the little bag tag sticking out. No, you don't. It's like a T.Y. Beanie Baby. Brought to you by Roback. Never seen that reaction for asking if no one drinks tea. Well, you came up here and you're like, what, no tea?
Starting point is 00:01:04 It was a little. It was a little. You walked in here, where the fuck is all the tea? any if no one drinks. Well, you came up here You're like what no tea? It was a little Walked in here. Where the fuck is all the tea? Little diva, little diva You said no one drinks tea? And then you were like you thought we were gonna have tea We've all been cramped in this tiny fucking office for like months now. He comes in day two and he's like, where's my goddamn tea? What's the whole tea? There's plenty of K-Cups
Starting point is 00:01:24 Where's my goddamn tea? One thing the whole tea? There's plenty of K-Cups. Where's my goddamn tea? One thing of tea would be standard. You struck an intern. You struck an intern with your backhand. Where's my fucking tea? Tea is the most standard thing. At an office? No.
Starting point is 00:01:37 At a bar? You have tea at the New York office. There's hundreds of packets of tea. Oh, you have tea now at the New York office? There's always been tea. Yeah, but do you guys have equipment that works? Yes, we have a K-cup. Or a Keurig.
Starting point is 00:01:46 Or a Keurig. I meant like microphones and stuff. No, we don't. All right. Roback. They got the best. The Q-zips are incredible. The joggers.
Starting point is 00:01:55 Sometimes I don't, like, it's the perfect amount of zip. Yeah. They got hats, too. I mean, I'm. They do. You know how I know? You're wearing one. Because I'm wearing one.
Starting point is 00:02:03 And I'm wearing the hoodie. They've got the best. I love you. They just just released brand new performance crew next for both men and women They're breathable yet So soft and comfortable perfect for a fall morning while you're on the move or having a relaxing weekend You know how much that we love the joggers the hoodies use code yak at row back calm for 20% off your first purchase through The end of the week that's our a job a ccom. 20% off all performance hoodies, crew necks, joggers, quarter zips, and more. Probably hats. Yeah, I would have to imagine. Or do I have like a one-of-one deal?
Starting point is 00:02:33 Am I special? Where's my goddamn hat? Yeah, I said, give me tea or give me a hat. And they're like, we have no tea. The hat will have to do. Crazy. Literally just like herbs. I was living in a hotel, and i was walking to work with
Starting point is 00:02:46 kyle because he wanted to use the free breakfast that my hotel was giving and this homeless man comes up to me he said give me your fucking hat or your coffee and i was like oh shit he said and then kyle just kind of walked away from me this dude was crazy and so i gave him kyle just kyle just walked away right away from. Kyle was like, nah. And then I was like, dude, New York, huh? And he was like, that never happens. The guy gave me the choice. Was he satisfied with the coffee?
Starting point is 00:03:15 Yeah, he walked right away with it. He must have really liked your hat. Yeah. He was probably like, I just want the cup of coffee. And then he was like, oh, I'll take the hat too, though. Oh, really? Yeah, he was probably a big Pens fan. Interesting. How was boozy spelling bee?
Starting point is 00:03:29 We have a champion? No man should ever say boozy. That's what you put on the flyer. I had to. Okay. Boozy. I put you on the flyer too, dude. I told you I wasn't coming.
Starting point is 00:03:38 You said put you on the flyer because your ego couldn't take me being with Titus without you. That's not what I said. That is true. That is true. You know what really threw me off yesterday was when you were leaving and you said i'll see you tonight yeah but i don't know what that why were you saying that i don't know i don't know why you said that i just misspoke and for hours i was thinking i was like when am i gonna see brandon tonight in your nightmares yeah as soon as i said it i knew i was lying but i didn't want to correct no i had a feeling you were not going to see me tonight.
Starting point is 00:04:05 That's like a KB-ism. Every time he meets somebody, he says, nice to meet you again. But, like, I think. Yeah, I just said it. I was like, I don't know what to say. I'm leaving. Sasses were awkwardly seeing each other in the street. And I said, all right, see you tonight, buddy.
Starting point is 00:04:18 It wasn't awkward. It was really not awkward. Sass is probably one of the closest with Sass. Did you think about it after the fact at all? Well, I haven't seen Sass in a while. I was a little nervous. But like when you
Starting point is 00:04:27 were driving home, were you like, why did I say that or did it not cross your mind until he just brought it up? As my butt hit the seat, I was thinking,
Starting point is 00:04:32 why'd you say that? Your big fucking butt. Yeah. Big ass in my tiny seat. Yeah, you were filling that Jeep up. So how was the boozy spelling bee?
Starting point is 00:04:43 Za fucking what? Za one. So what was the spelling bee? He got Genghis Khan right. He got Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart right. Goddamn, Za. No, Genghis kept me up all night. I fucked up.
Starting point is 00:04:55 Oh, you fucked up Genghis, but you could take a shot to get back in. And if you missed your second word. But we were trying to knock out our coworkers. So somebody else would win. Yeah. I wouldn't miss work. I heard it was rigged. I heard there was a conspiracy going on.
Starting point is 00:05:10 I don't like the term rigged having a negative connotation. He misspelled, by the way, B in the tweet. He was the spelling bee champion. Which I think is a great representation of what this event was. He's like, I was the spelling bee champion. It's one of the pinker tongues I've ever seen. Were you eating some watermelon Jolly Ranchers before that? Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:05:35 Nah, Pink Whitney's. Oh, okay. I'll do it. That's what kept me alive. Great event, by the way, Nick. You guys absolutely dominated. They're so fun. Anyone in Chicago Should come to those
Starting point is 00:05:46 They are pretty fun Yeah it looked like a good time Also won Pinkest Tongue Oh shit really Yeah So we'll be giving that out as well Damn That'll be another $5,000
Starting point is 00:05:54 How much did last night cost you I was thinking of it You know what helped That KB didn't have A scouting report on me Oh I entered once The whole thing had started
Starting point is 00:06:03 I feel like if he If he had known that I was in, he would have given me some stupid-ass Afrikaans Blomfontein or something crazy like that. I didn't understand the last ten words. Donnie's wife was really good as well.
Starting point is 00:06:18 I thought she was a favorite to win. She was killing it. Sounds like a fun night. What was the prize? $400. That's crazy. Mark and KB left pretty quickly.
Starting point is 00:06:35 We got out of there. This is going to bankrupt you. But then Zah won. And then he said $400 of drinks for the bar which I had to tip on. It was $500.
Starting point is 00:06:51 I took care of the tip. You tipped too? Oh no. I left out the bucks. I left out the bucks. We're keeping that bar afloat. $600. That bar actually made $600 total dollars.
Starting point is 00:07:09 You're keeping them afloat, dude. I'm going to sneak into that cabinet and steal the ones. How was your show last night, Sam? It was good. It was fun. It was better than Tuesday, for sure. What made it better? A little more energetic.
Starting point is 00:07:21 I think the Tuesday, Tuesday everyone was just very, it was still fun, but they were just sleepy. That guy you had on Boy Dad Live yesterday. Aiden. Aiden. He followed me on Instagram. He's AIDS guy. AIDS man. There's porno going on right now.
Starting point is 00:07:39 Why is there a porno going on? Where's the porno coming from? Sounds like up there. Oh my God. Somebody hack into our Bluetooth? There's porno going on? Where's the porno coming from? Sounds like up there. Oh my god. Did somebody hack into our Bluetooth? There's porno going on. TJ, what are you watching? Did anyone else just check their phone?
Starting point is 00:07:55 I instantly disconnected my Bluetooth. Oh, where's my speaker? No, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, god damn. Oh, Nietzsche. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, goddamn. Oh, Nicky. Frank. Oh.
Starting point is 00:08:07 Oh, you son of a bitch. That's a classic Smokes. Legend. I didn't know what to expect when he said it. He said I fucked something up. I thought I fucked something up royally. I was really, I went right to my Bluetooth. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:24 Dude, I. He promised to prank us. He got us. He did it. I have a disgusting feeling that wasn't from Pornhub. That was from his camera roll. That was him reading the Bible with a young lady. Smokes.
Starting point is 00:08:38 Fuck you. Fuck you. That sounded, send me that link fucking good i'm horny that porn was right one day i wear sweatpants that porn was right under you yeah it was porn yeah yeah did you feel the vibrations dude i felt like the balls smack yeah you felt it before you heard it that's how you know it's good porn. Yeah. Does anyone else feel that porn?
Starting point is 00:09:10 It's like the Jurassic Cup glasses. I think that's a big black dick. I dribble a little porn down Sass's knee. I feel the porno in my knees before you. I always tell porn's coming. Porn today. Porn outside. My joints get a little freaky.
Starting point is 00:09:34 Oh, man, good stuff. What NFL player tweets about stuff? Does it have to be an NFL player at all times? Basketball players are too easy. Okay. What is this? There's a whole Twitter. I'm trying to think of legendary NFL.
Starting point is 00:09:48 The legendary one is Eddie Lacy China food. What's Eddie Lacy China food? Eddie Lacy loves China food. China food. That's pretty legendary. Was it multiple tweets or just the one? You guys don't know about China food? Don't know about China food.
Starting point is 00:10:00 I fucking love China food, brother. Not as much as Eddie Lacy. It pretty much pushed him out of the league. He did get fat, didn't he? Yeah. Because of what? China food. China food, brother. Not as much as Eddie Lacey. It pretty much pushed him out of the league. He did get fat, didn't he? Yeah. Because of what? China food. China food.
Starting point is 00:10:09 China food makes you feel fatter than most other foods. Yeah. Unless it's a bat. True. I keep craving China food. Who wants to bring me some China food? Again! Who wants to bring me some China food?
Starting point is 00:10:22 I'm about to go. China food time. I love this. He loves China food. China food is. I get this, dude. I get it, too. He literally can't stop thinking about China food.
Starting point is 00:10:39 There's so many more of these than I thought there was going to be. Yeah, he loves China food. Is this when he's at Bama too? He couldn't have had great China food options in Tuscaloosa. This was probably before they had meal plans and all that good shit. This is what Twitter used to be.
Starting point is 00:10:55 It was awesome. Instead of having takes. It was just about your day. About to go have some spaghetti. That's what it should have been. Thinking about China food go have some spaghetti yeah that's what it's thinking about thinking about china food we could tweet like that with nothing stopping us from tweeting like that that's true if you looked up china food right now on twitter the first one that came up would probably be like some person at eating at a chinese restaurant and then like
Starting point is 00:11:16 the whole thing just explodes there's blood flying everywhere and the dude that posted that yeah that's what and then the dude that posted that Yeah And then the dude that posted that made $30,000 Off of that tweet Money's good Yeah dude Twitter is disgusting There's 10,000 words in the tweet You have to click show more Three times
Starting point is 00:11:37 Sass have you made money on Twitter? No I'm not Yeah I'm not Twitter blue The yak just got that little bar stool next to it to show we're affiliated with the stool really yeah oh really i didn't even know that was a thing yeah those are kind of cool i don't huh i don't know how i feel being your barstool is not even associated with bars no no no but the yak got the little stool the yak is why does the yet why does the barstool account have the yellow check i think that's like king.
Starting point is 00:12:05 Oh, wow. Interesting. King stool. Yeah, top dog. Have you made much money off of Twitter? I haven't tweeted since Elon bought it. That's true. You haven't tweeted.
Starting point is 00:12:14 I made about $1,500. Really? Damn. How? Just signing up for their tweets. But how much have you paid? Yeah, I tweet. $2,000?
Starting point is 00:12:23 Yeah. I'm surprised you didn't make more. All you got to tweet is like, Michigan is the best team in the NCAA right now. Is that how it works? More engagement gets more money? That's why you're an asshole. No, I'm not an asshole on Twitter.
Starting point is 00:12:36 Tweet right now, respond if you ain't gay. Like 10 grand. Ah, fuck. All right. Let's get three responses. So your journalistic integrity has been compromised. Yeah. Because you're not.
Starting point is 00:12:52 I said, yeah. You're not actually offering up your takes. You're just offering up things that will get you engagement. No, it's not. It's like when I do like a poll or I say, hey, who do y'all think is going to win? Like that. Those drive pretty good. And then at night when I can't sleep, I'll say, be like, what do y'all think is going to win? Those drive pretty good. And then at night when I can't sleep, I'll be like,
Starting point is 00:13:07 what do y'all want to talk about? And like 300 people. Yeah, you do other people doing your job. Yeah. It's like when our social media team is like, caption this. Fuck you. Yeah, you caption it. Fuck you. Can you see how much one tweet made you?
Starting point is 00:13:19 No. Maybe you can. I haven't figured it out. You do the tweets where you put all start. You're like, name a fullback. I'll start. Me first. I haven't figured it out. You do the tweets where you put all start. You're like, name a fullback. I'll start. He first. I have done.
Starting point is 00:13:29 I said, let's name random college football players. I'll start. Here's one. Say I'll start, but I did start. The fact that you tweet, let's name random college football players, and then people actually are like, oh, I guess I'll name one. That's Chris. If somebody names a random athlete, you have to name another random athlete.
Starting point is 00:13:45 Naming dudes is fun. Mike Alston. Pretty good. He's pretty good. We're not like you, man. Yeah. I'm not feeding into your fucking traps. Yeah, you all want to name.
Starting point is 00:13:55 No, it's not the naming dudes. The all-start part is a little like, you know. Say I'll start. I just did it. Saying I'll start would look stupid. Names in college football quarterbacks. Since that that wasn't clear i'll give you an example tim tebow yeah that is here's have you seen the internet i'll start big titty threads really your big titties oh i have seen i've seen this guy i haven't albert or something he'll be like hey i dare you to show me
Starting point is 00:14:20 your tits and then like 2 000 replies 2 000 that's 4 000 titties and i watch them all jesus when uh you know when the like bot says you up for some yeah and then it's like the blurred thing do you look at it every time everything and it's always that girl with the weird pussy it's always the same girl she goes how does this look weird pussies in oxy and then i reply and i say it's. I like it all. Terrible. I'd rather be eating China food. Yeah. Looks bad. What, pussy or China food? No, that's what I replied to that girl. Gross.
Starting point is 00:14:54 Gross pussy. Yeah. You up for something? Not right now, Rosie. Yeah. She replies to all of my tweets. Are you getting jealous right now, dude? Can we see Rosie's tits on y'all man please put rosie's weird pussy on eddie lacy have y'all noticed the new rosie is just chloe the maga chick have y'all noticed her the the
Starting point is 00:15:23 black chick that's uh black chick, blue bikini? She responds to everything just like, cool. Yeah. That's tough. Yeah. She hasn't answered my DMs yet. Yeah, Chloe the Maga Chick. She answers everything.
Starting point is 00:15:38 Everything. Shout out to her. That's awesome. Very different algorithm than you guys. It's not really an algorithm. This isn't an algorithm. This is just robots. I get a lot of the China death stuff.
Starting point is 00:15:49 I get a lot of that. Oh, yeah, yeah. Big time. Kate, what did you do different today that made you look even more pregnant? Oh, my God. That's a great question. They sent me this sweatsuit that I think they probably didn't want me to wear it till after I had the baby oh it came in the middle yesterday and I'm literally wearing it today because it's so fucking comfortable it looks comfortable it is so you can't see the logo
Starting point is 00:16:13 on the pants because my body's eating it up but oh my god it's so comfy this is probably the last thing they want promoting their their stuff but god damn it's so comfy. I think it shows that it's like a four-way stretch. I'm probably going to wear this until every day. But you still have a long time. I still have. Do you? Two weeks. Three weeks.
Starting point is 00:16:37 We're in range now, right? Yeah, yeah. Now it could happen. Like, did your water break at any moment? I thought it did yesterday, but it turns out I was just sitting down and uh you pissed i had a pee experience you squirted yeah yeah turns out i just squirted someone was playing porn in the back i must have fucking squirted nicky smokes must have put his speaker in my bag before i left sitting on the, just started squirting. Pretty far. Pretty far.
Starting point is 00:17:07 I texted Pat. I was like, come upstairs, I think. And the internet was like, smell your underwear, and if it smells like piss, it's just piss. What is a good gauge on if it's piss? Yeah. I was going to ask, what is it actually?
Starting point is 00:17:24 If it doesn't smell like piss piss that would be a bigger problem what would the alternative smelling like be they said the alternative smells like not piss and kind of sweet oh okay so when your water breaks that's just the fluids in your
Starting point is 00:17:40 womb coming out that's not piss something breaks and it all what is it Brandon in your womb coming out? That's not piss? Something breaks, and it all, like, boom. What is it, Brandon? It's the baby juice. I think it's like, yeah, it's the boy afloat. I was in labor for a long time before my water broke last time, so that's not like the movies where that's what starts it all.
Starting point is 00:18:01 Wait, you were in labor before your water broke? Yeah, and then I was like, I'm going to throw up. So I was like, Pat, and he handed me a bag, and I threw up. And as I threw up, the force of the throw up exploded my water, and I shit myself at the same time. Holy shit. Yeah. And the nurse called it a hat trick. Wow.
Starting point is 00:18:19 Oh, wow. Yeah. That's wild. That feels like you could have sued the hospital for sure. Yeah. But they were like, this happens all the time you doing my inside yeah oh hat trick does the dad still cut the umbilical cord i don't think pat did i never you can if you want to i would never do that i heard it's tough that's a tradition sure that's like a thing really yeah yeah i heard it's pretty tough no it's a thing but i i brand, you didn't do any of your kids'
Starting point is 00:18:45 Were you in the room? By the fourth one, I was not in the room. By the fourth one, I wasn't. Wait, what? By the fourth one. You were in the gambling cave, sweating out your bed. Big Ev and Marty. First one, I was right there.
Starting point is 00:19:00 By the fourth one, my wife said, I'm going to do this. You go do that. I just took a nap. Dude, I don't think she likes you. I took a nap in the waiting room and waited for them to come tell me we had a baby. It sounds like she didn't know if number four was going to come out black or white. Yeah. This sounds like it was a point toss.
Starting point is 00:19:21 Let me get a look at it first. What guy would fall for that? Let me look at it first. There was a chance of you having a black baby. No, it's... Whatever. All right. It was on the sheet.
Starting point is 00:19:39 Wow. Why is your youngest son DeAndre Jr.? Oh, here's a great discussion point great discussion point far and away my most athletic kid though yeah man here's a great discussion point uh sass and mook shows this weekend i guess that's steven chay yes yes or no the answer is yes all right moving on great topic great great fucking topic there oh here's a good topic yesterday was eddie's birthday happy belated birthday that is a good topic all right great topic thank god yesterday we had cvs snacks where yeah i can know tuesday was barstool nate's 35th birthday another sentence so he's missing the
Starting point is 00:20:18 birthdays by a day or two that's fine i text nate happy birthday i like how he wrote, do we miss Big Cat and Che? Did he write that? He wrote that? Yeah. Wait, they're right there. Yeah. Big Cat and Che. They haven't even been here this week. No.
Starting point is 00:20:33 At all. I was sitting over there the whole time. Yeah. Oh, shit. Big Cat's got to be miserable by this point. That whole crew has to be... What day is today? Thursday.
Starting point is 00:20:43 Thursday. They're almost there tomorrow's their last day they started on sunday right yeah maybe today is their last day that's got to be miserable it's a lot sleeping in that office has to suck yeah yeah i still don't understand what surviving barstool is no matter how many times people explain it to me it's like we're just hanging out in the office and that's it. They all have handguns. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:08 This is why I'm confused. They give them actual challenges and shit. Was the first one when White Sox Dave went rogue? Yes. He said he'd walk outside, but he was the guy. Oh yeah, that's right. He also didn't have shoes on. He was like down at the subway, yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:22 So they never leave the office ever for anything. Yeah. They don't go outside the subway. Yeah. So they never leave the office ever for anything. Yeah. They don't go outside. No. That's basically it. But then they're also doing content. Yeah. And the office is pitch black.
Starting point is 00:21:33 The thing is, they're not really getting much vitamin action. When I was doing it, still, that office was way nicer than my apartment was. So it was kind of nice to be there. Yeah. I feel that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Your old apartment was so it was kind of nice to be there yeah i feel that yeah yeah yeah europe your old apartment was so small the smallest in new york yeah it was tiny really the smallest in new york it had to have been like up in the top 100 yeah tiny yeah like so just like packing it was a door with it had the bathroom and of shared sink. Yeah. Why don't you just get like a bit? The sink was like this big.
Starting point is 00:22:07 And then I had a couch, one seat couch. Like it was a how much I'm in. I got to know. But that took I was in a month and meatpacking. And there was a ladder to climb up to my bed. Yeah. I couldn't stand up. My room was three foot ceiling. Why don't you just get like a two or three bedroom? Yeah. Why don't I just like why not? Why didn't I just get like a two or three bedroom? Yeah, seriously. Why didn't I just do that? Why not? Why didn't I just make more money? Yeah, I mean. Yeah, I had a tiny apartment in Jersey City, but there was like an Indian guy living in it too. So, kind of.
Starting point is 00:22:34 Oh, so. Win-win. Yeah. Okay. It was a dub. I'm trying to think if I. I went in reverse. My first apartment was bigger than my second two apartments.
Starting point is 00:22:46 Yeah, it was. But it was like you might have been living in like a fake apartment. Like the walls always like everything was breaking. No, that was in Hell's Kitchen. My first apartment was in East Village. Oh, I liked that. And I lived with Ray and Tegan. Just two dudes that.
Starting point is 00:22:59 Yeah, you remember them, right? Yeah. Yeah. We went to that guy's fashion launch. Yeah. Ray. Yeah, they were good guys. How'd you find them? Craigslist. They were ripping you off, right? Yeah. Yeah. We went to that guy's fashion launch. Yeah. Ray. Yeah. They were good guys. How'd you find them?
Starting point is 00:23:06 Craigslist. They were ripping you off, right? No, they weren't. They weren't the guy that was subletting it up to the charge. Okay. Yeah. I just found out that I was paying more than them and their rooms were double the size of mine.
Starting point is 00:23:17 Happens. Happens. What can you do? That's the city, baby. Yeah, it is. Best city in the world. What's your guys' favorite way to eat ice cream? I usually use a spoon and can we fire che is frozen yogurt actually terrible for you
Starting point is 00:23:33 is frozen yogurt terrible i assume that it's no i don't think it's like road for you okay i don't know i mean this makes you think what she gave us it's almost actually ruining the flow of conversation yeah it really is there's nothing to talk about on this yeah have you guys seen uh final destination which one the first one yeah the one with the no but i get like i don't know i haven't finished it i started I started it last night. You like it or no? It was good. It was a little spooky. I got a little spooked.
Starting point is 00:24:09 Isn't that the airplane one? Yeah. Yeah. Isn't the premise just like everything is going to kill you, basically? The group of teens always do something to avoid death, but the premise, like the death is a certainty, so it always comes up. It's always coming for them. They'll die in the most gruesome ways. I just belong on Twitter.
Starting point is 00:24:28 The only clip I ever saw from a Final Dest movie was the gymnast i saw that what about the log truck the log truck i was about to say that's the one that fucks me up what i follow behind log trucks yeah i don't want to see that uh the guy lifting weights where like the plate smashes head yeah really i don't want to see that so it seems like you really only have to watch the first 10 minutes of the movie and then you can watch the clips of all the deaths. I have a fear of lawnmowers because of that series. One shoots a rock out across the street and hits a guy. It goes right through his face.
Starting point is 00:24:55 The chick dying in the tanning bed, too, was bad. Oh, yeah. I think about that. Yeah, don't watch those. I don't watch scary movies. Not that those are scary. That's like gore porn, like Saw. I didn't know that. Yeah, don't watch those. I don't watch scary movies. Not that those are scary. That's like gore porn. Like Saw. I didn't know that.
Starting point is 00:25:09 Just like traumatizing experiences. So why would you want to watch that? I watched it just to feel something. I didn't know that's what it was. Hold on, Sass. Why would you guys want to watch that? I don't. I was in like middle school. Okay. High school.
Starting point is 00:25:27 I'm with you. we just talked about that i know but that's a whole totally different show and nobody knows about yeah that's true that's true that's true that's true run everything back to the way we do the exact same show what show uh mostly sports you might not have heard about it it's uh on the barstool sports network i've heard it's failing. It's fine. This is like very Trump. The failing mostly sports. I like the whole shtick you have of sucking dick. That's on purpose, right?
Starting point is 00:25:57 Show sucks dick on purpose? Yeah. Oh, man. All right. How about you stay in your own lane, pal? I'm there. I'm there. Seth, did you get a haircut? No, I just put a hat on. Oh, man. All right. How about you stay in your own lane, pal? I'm there. I'm there. Seth, did you get a haircut? No, I just put a hat on.
Starting point is 00:26:09 Oh, okay. It does look like you got a haircut, right? It works wonders. Yeah, my hair just looks... Just the top of your head, the hair on top is just like that. It's that long? Yeah. Wow.
Starting point is 00:26:21 Because it looks like you got a haircut. It does. It changes everything dramatically Well Well that's just a hat though Yeah I had to Had to wear a hat after that picture So pull that back up
Starting point is 00:26:35 That was It made the thumbnail of the video Of the YouTube Yeah I saw that It didn't look as bad in the thumbnail Because they fixed the hair a little bit Okay Nice of them
Starting point is 00:26:43 It is a rock i saw someone added sass to yeah it's someone added sass to our uh our picture that we created yesterday oh yeah that was funny oh really kate look at our picture we made yesterday you didn't watch the show right kate no god i need you to guess what we were talking what what led to this. Okay. Those are boobies. Yeah. Glenny Balls has boobies. What is going on with the crotch of that man?
Starting point is 00:27:15 That's Yao Ming with Teddy Bridgewater's dick. Okay. Of course. Those are all arms on KB. KB's all arms. Whose arms are they? That very white arm. Whose arms are they?
Starting point is 00:27:33 That's a sleeve. That's not an actual white arm. I was like, mooks. So it's obviously somebody very white. Who carries arms? I am at a loss. Does he have scissor fingers? Glennie? Oh, he doesn't, Does he have scissor fingers? Glennie?
Starting point is 00:27:46 Oh, he doesn't, but he kind of looks like he does. What's going on? Oh, the titties covering up the hand. Oh, the titties. Whoa, what is going on with that hand? Is that Alex Earl? That's an NBA championship ring on it, right? That's Sidney Sweeney's titties on Shaquille O'Neal's body.
Starting point is 00:27:59 Oh, who's the lady, though? Is that Sidney Sweeney? That's Sidney Sweeney with the first Google result for titties. Those are pretty good ones. Can I see Nick's legs on yaoming oh god i don't know if like i think my legs would be less than a pixel i don't know if i'm done i i couldn't begin to even we had a debate if sydney sweeney really had big titties or if she was small so you put the titties on different people to see if they were, and the verdict is
Starting point is 00:28:27 they are big. No, they're tiny. They're tiny. They're tiny little things. Really? Well, a bra makes all the difference. She's 5'2". I've seen little titties. Lose an inch overnight? 5'3". No, she lost an inch overnight. Oh, she shrunk? She shrunk. No, the right
Starting point is 00:28:44 bra can make anybody look like they have big titties. So you've been in Daddario's DMs. Yeah. Just ask her. For what? If Sidney Sweeney has big titties. You want me to ask Daddario if her titties are big? Yes.
Starting point is 00:28:55 Ask her. Hey, quick question. Or if it's just proportional. Are your titties big? We need something for scale. That's a really good pickup line. Hey, you got back problems? No, I'm going to just be straight up transparent.
Starting point is 00:29:08 Your titty's big. I don't want to lose the follow. Weird question. Have you ever gotten a picture standing next to Shaquille O'Neal? Did you get some tea? No, I got coffee, but you guys don't have cream. This is crazy. I'm shocked we have coffee.
Starting point is 00:29:26 Me too. This office is a desert out here, and we're leaving. We only have one week left. Yeah, one week. Yeah, you wouldn't want to splurge on cream. Yeah, you're right. You wouldn't want to waste all that $5 on cream. You're sick.
Starting point is 00:29:41 We've got cream. What a shame that would be. Sorry, Sass. You want me to go get you some cream? We've got cream. What a shame that would be. Sorry, Sass. Can we go get you some cream? We really fucked up. We bought cream and now we have to move in a week. It's a whole thing. God forbid we would have to buy another thing of cream.
Starting point is 00:29:57 I hate to be here. You guys are not moving in a week. Yeah, we are. No, we're not. Thought we were. The priority shows are. What's the weirdest when they came to us? But are we a priority show?
Starting point is 00:30:12 Because every time they've explained it to us. We're on board with the priority show. Yeah, I was going to say, every time they explain it to us, it's the priority shows and also mostly sports are moving. The thing is, there's only one non-priority show. Anus? That's correct. No, you're forgetting.
Starting point is 00:30:28 Zero Block 30. Oh, my goodness. We're still going. There we go. We're kicking. So what's going on? Do you guys already have your studio ready? Or will be ready in a week?
Starting point is 00:30:37 I think they're getting it ready next week. Yeah, next week. Yeah, well, I think starting Monday, they're going to spend the week getting it ready for move-in ready. Right now, it's ready to get that construction going. They're loading all the cream in right now. They're loading the cream. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:50 We're all loading it. Yeah. The whole cream room. Our cream silos. They're filling up. Yeah. That's awesome. Seth, by the way, I want to just go on record.
Starting point is 00:31:02 I'm subletting. So Brandon and I are sharing a studio at the new office. And I just wanted, for you and everyone else in New York, I want to open up my half of the studio. I'll sublet it to you guys. Thank you. If you ever need to use a studio. I appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:31:17 You can use our space for sure. And, yeah. That's nice of you. Yeah. Can me and Kyle use it sometime? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:28 You guys are still getting a studio, right? Probably not now. I think they're just, I think they're just jerking us along. So you're on the second floor. That's right. I understand. Right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:36 We're getting dog walk. They're getting the first floor ready next week. Yeah. I didn't know there were two floors. Yeah. But there are. Certainly are. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:45 And we have a basketball court. So I've heard that's going were two floors. Yeah. But there are. Certainly are. Yeah. And we have a basketball court, so. I've heard that's going to be nice. Yeah. Nothing better than going to work and playing basketball. There's nothing better. There it is. There it is. That's not.
Starting point is 00:31:55 That's the Dario with Shaq. Is that Shaq? Is that the Dario? Is that the Dario? Yeah. Who has ever seen a picture of Shaq and not been sure? You're the first ever. Is that Shaquille O'Neal? He does look a little
Starting point is 00:32:05 chubby in that photo. He is chubby. I mean, he's 50 something years old. This is making me so fucking jealous. Yeah, he's ripped. He was on the China food in that picture. Yeah, big time. I would still say big.
Starting point is 00:32:22 I saw him in person at the AEW show we went to in 2021, and he had just wrestled a match, and he walked past me. And I'm a big guy, and he's the biggest human being I can even conceive. Did you think that you and Shaq were going to be the same height? No, I didn't. I just thought. No, 6'5 does look like 7.
Starting point is 00:32:40 I thought, this guy's big. But when I saw him in person, I was like, I couldn't even really conceive how big he really is. Yeah. That's how. Have you ever seen his shoe? I have. 22, right?
Starting point is 00:32:52 Size 22? I don't know. Where is it? The Basketball Hall of Fame? Probably a lot of places. I think Reebok. By the way, is he the new president of Reebok? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:00 Announced that yesterday. Wow. Reebok's still kicking? They're trying to revamp. Oh, I'd get on board with Reebok. They've got to bring back the Zigs. They're the best NFL jerseys. I'd kill for a pair of Zigs right now.
Starting point is 00:33:10 It's a Reebok jersey, I think. This is a CBJ. You don't know what Zigs are? That's why I asked. TJ, can we pull up a photo of some Zigs? They were hot for a minute. These were like the most popular shoes in the world. Oh, I never had those.
Starting point is 00:33:22 I had those neon green ones. I remember I went lawn boarding, and I went on my stomach and I used my toes to Stop myself and it was the day I got my zigs and they just peeled right off We're furious. Oh, yeah. What was big cat in a commercial for a Reebok shoe? Yeah, was it zigs? Big cats been in a lot of commercials that pop up on my timeline regularly. He's in the shirt commercial. The shirt one, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:48 He's like, I own 50 of these. These are the greatest t-shirts I've ever worn. Tight on the shoulders, really tapers down around the waist. He's in the Amazon Prime and Stella one. A lot of mugs he wants. Makes the biceps pop. Do we think he owns 50 of them? Doesn't he say that in the ad?
Starting point is 00:34:03 He's like, I wear it all the time. And people say, you wear that shirt all the time. And I'm like, bro, no. I actually own 50 of these. Which I believe him because he does wear the same shirt every day. True. So do you, but yours is the same. Yours is actually the same.
Starting point is 00:34:18 Oh, man. Where'd Brandon go? He just walked away. Is this Big Cat in this? No way. Yeah, it was him in the very beginning. Oh, yeah Yeah With no Sean all right. Yeah, it was a damn good commercial Yeah, maybe want to go buy some fucking Reeboks. Get yourself a pair.
Starting point is 00:34:47 Yeah, I should. You could just fucking rob someone. Yeah. Well, the problem is you could rob someone, but then you have to hope that no one else is wearing Reeboks, and they'll get you awfully fast. They'll catch you. True. Yeah. Did they make the pumps, the AI pumps?
Starting point is 00:35:00 Did you guys ever wear those? I never. No. They make low-top pumps now, though, which is cool. I don't know if they work. I don get the point yeah neither do i i remember being in like sixth grade and i like pumped up my ai pumps and i was like i'm gonna be sick at basketball now those ones make it i had the vince carter shocks too i thought i could jump higher with shocks yep i think they have ones with an app on your phone like say i put my feet in them and then i hit the button and like they come back to the future shoes are the most expensive shoe, right?
Starting point is 00:35:25 Yeah, they're like $10,000 or something like that. Bernie, you wore pumps the other day, didn't you? I did. Just bought a pair of pumps. They looked cool. They really did. Did you see the low-top pumps? I did not.
Starting point is 00:35:33 Yeah, I don't get the point. Huh. Because they don't wrap around your ankle. Yeah. You're right. But they look great. Those look nice. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:41 Those look good. When I got pumps in 1992, I thought it was revolutionizing revolutionizing who was in the dunk contest Dee Brown the brown he Pumped his he pumped his shoes up and then you pump them up and they pop isn't there like a powder that was always the Myth right I don't know if anybody ever did it that and what it's in Austin Powers. He's like That's suck to pop your pumps pop Oh, it would be so embarrassing. But you'd still wear them because nobody could tell they were popped. Right? Everybody could tell.
Starting point is 00:36:10 Everybody could tell. How could they tell? Nice pumps. Oh, you know. You popped your pumps. You know that. You look awfully deflated today. Can I see somebody over-pumping their pumps?
Starting point is 00:36:19 Y'all know Titus popped his pumps? Still wearing them? Not little tits. Little tits. Little tits with the pop pumps. You do not want to be around someone who's popped their pumps because that's just like you're broke as hell yeah if you popped your pumps and you didn't at least try and get them repaired new bag in there maybe i was walking around with pop pumps really yeah that's tough you can't be doing that all the little you could probably bring them in to the shop yeah they go and throw a new back i bet you it
Starting point is 00:36:48 destroys the totals the shoe yeah buy new pumps that's a bummer could you get pump insurance no no way they should totally no more than just cars yeah like if your dog has surgery But it's more expensive than the dog Yeah Putting them down That's what happens My dog was totaled Three dogs
Starting point is 00:37:13 I mean that's gotta be like How much are dogs? It depends on what they are You can get one for free Yeah like a normal dog Not like one of those fucking... Not one of those expensive freaks. Dogs are not cheap anymore.
Starting point is 00:37:29 Any breed is going to be like $1,000. I think a Shih Tzu purebred... What's the most expensive breed right now? A rack for a dog is not bad. Cats are expensive now, too. No. Cats are like $15. Who is paying for cats?
Starting point is 00:37:43 Best genetic cats. The best cats. You don't want the best cats. Have you seen the cats? Best genetic cats. The best cats. You don't want the best cats. Have you seen the guys that show off cats? The cat guys? They're like, they bring a real cat in. They'll like stretch it out, show the asshole. They're like mini fucking lions.
Starting point is 00:37:52 What is a Samoyed? Samoyed? How do you say that? No way a Rottweiler is nine grand. What's the 14,000 one? Is that the one? Is that the one that the Chinese and Japanese will paint? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:06 Aren't they really mean? They'll turn them into lions and shit. Yeah. How much is a golden retriever? I'm saying it's like $500. $25. No way. I bet you it's $12.
Starting point is 00:38:16 I got one. I'll sell them to you. I bet you it's $3. You got one? I'll sell them to you. Yeah. He's like 38 years old. Isn't he?
Starting point is 00:38:22 Moe's? Is he? He'll turn 13 in December. Oh, dude, if he loses a tooth, he's totaled. That's the best time to have him. $1,500. Wow. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:32 That's crazy. I didn't know dogs were expensive. I'm looking to offload him. What's the most expensive cat? I'm looking to liquidate my dog. I want an old-ass dog and just give it the best last five years of its life. Just feed it meatballs. Holy shit. I think it's five years. It wasn't that old of a dog. give it the best like last five years of its life. Yeah. Just like feed it meatballs. Holy shit.
Starting point is 00:38:45 I think it's five years. It wasn't that old of a dog. No. Yeah. Yeah. Last five years. Maybe two to four. Oh shit.
Starting point is 00:38:52 Oh what? Kara? Yeah. A sheer cat. Wait, let's get big cat to get us one. Oh. Yeah, I can see that. Those are the ones where they like have to butcher a whole chicken for it for lunchtime.
Starting point is 00:39:03 Yeah, those are probably just not. So it's like a leopard that's that thing eats better than i do yeah and that thing does not like its own no i get so mad when i see those videos of the people that have like a fucking puma in their house yeah wearing a leash and they're like that's how it expresses its feelings like yeah the feelings that it wants to murder you. Oil barons love having. It's a Middle Eastern guy every time.
Starting point is 00:39:29 Oh, my God. Damn. And that poor other normal cat has to live with it? If I came over to someone's house and they had one of those, I would kick it in the fucking chest. That thing would eat you alive, dude. I'd do that for every pet. No, I would free it. I would free it.
Starting point is 00:39:44 I would say, be gone from here. That normal cat seemed to be running the... Whoa. You can't throw a cat like that. Toss it in the toilet. Brother, that's not a cat. No. That's a fucking mountain lion.
Starting point is 00:39:53 Why does she just lock herself in the shower? Oh, fuck that. Oh, fuck no. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Oh, my God. Oh, I love this. You must just be living in fear.
Starting point is 00:40:05 Yeah, that's that cat. That thing could just kill you at any moment. Uh-oh. Yeah, if that latched onto your cat. Yeah, and all the content is like, I fuck with my cat. Like, I tease my cat. Oh, yeah, it's never just like them hanging out with their cat. Look at this wild animal acting like a wild animal.
Starting point is 00:40:21 Oh, it's a good stretch. That is. That would feel so good. Yeah. You want to pick you up like that every morning when you, that's a good stretch. That would feel so good. Yeah. You want to pick you up like that every morning when you walk in? Please. Yeah. Why can't people just have normal
Starting point is 00:40:34 cats? So a cat like that costs $125,000. That person's house didn't even look like it was $125,000. They had fucking metal chairs in their front yard and a mud, mud for grass. Imagine you're like a struggling family and your fucking parents come home with a $125,000 cat. Those are the types of people that have shit like that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:01 Like there would be people that have like a four-wheeler that was like 30 grand. Yeah. And their kids have like that. Yeah. Yes. Like, there would be people that have, like, a four-wheeler that was, like, 30 grand. Yeah. Kids have zero teeth. Yeah. You just described both the states of West Virginia and Mississippi. I sure did. I was, yeah, where's my backup? It's true.
Starting point is 00:41:14 Yeah. The most expensive trucks belong to the shittiest homes. Yeah. They park it in the living room because there's a hole in the side of their house. You ever had a four-wheeler, Brandon? Yeah. The, what? That door's not locked nope is this another smokes prank i don't know it's got to be oh that door uh-oh watch out who's on the other side of that door oh no smokes honestly i will say it was a good prank but he could have let that go on for like 30 more minutes before anyone knew what was happening. Yeah. I would have started jerking off, though.
Starting point is 00:41:47 What's that? It's cream. Oh, it's that. The cream and tea. It's the milkman. Okay. Zal, what was that? Some TanaMade golf clubs.
Starting point is 00:42:03 What? Oh. For who, Brandon? I could use a restroom real quick. Some TanaMade golf clubs. What? Oh. For who, Brandon? I could use a restroom real quick. Let's go steal a golf club. I want some. Oh, we found out where we're tailgating Sunday. Yes.
Starting point is 00:42:16 South Lot? South Lot. It's the Jack and Coke tailgate sponsored by Jack and Coke. Oh, shit. Both of them? There's that one. No, they collabed. That's cool. They came together. That's awesome. came together that's awesome finally when did that become a company uh it's two separate
Starting point is 00:42:31 entities that made one drink yeah they said it's like in a can you can buy it just really arnold and palmer yeah that's awesome i love i love palmer company yeah you would wasn't a big arnold guy dude i've left this office every single day going to a different store trying to get a stitched bears you still haven't found it I haven't found it I'm gonna try today damn we were looking like go the airport a more stitch I don't think they make stitched current players they do don't think I don't think so definitely do didn't like it did fanatics fuck everything up or is that just that's the championship merch like he has like the limited jerseys that are like half
Starting point is 00:43:04 stitch so the numbers aren't but like the nike check patch on the arm have you gone to the uh at soldier field the store no i haven't checked there yet seems like where i would that's where i went to uber too after this we went to the same fucking place three times and they were closed yeah each time sports world said they were open that's at the corner of wrigley and wrigley i want to try that again today and if they they're closed, I'm over and over. And then I have to finish right in our smut. Yeah, yeah. Big Cat did ask for an extension again.
Starting point is 00:43:32 I'm anxious to see how. Of course he did. I didn't say it, but Big Cat did. Any further extension will prevent it from coming out in time for Black Friday. Interesting. That is interesting. Black Friday would maybe be a good title of the book brandon wouldn't like that why did you know there's audiobooks for the books you bought the shoot
Starting point is 00:43:55 the roaches in our house yeah is kwan the narrator i don't know but we play next uh it's like listening to a rap song. He goes live on TikTok, like, every day. Do you want us to become the new Wake Up Minzy? It's very successful. Oh, we never mentioned it on here, but I was telling Pat about this, and he was like, yeah, I used to produce commercials for these books, which I didn't know, and he sent me a whole catalog of he did like commercials for
Starting point is 00:44:27 these smut books i don't know if you did you send us the video in the group text they were very sexy and they even used his apartment for some of them um and i had no idea that was part of his past but this one particular she was a writer like the lady we were talking about and um he produced all her smut commercials like 10 years ago that's beautiful i know i had no idea all the books for the books he made like sexy trailers for her to put on her facebook for the books yeah like a trailer for books he even pulled up the old emails where he's like we need a super hairy man in austin we need whatever like and i was like did you like giggle about this and he's no, it was just part of my living.
Starting point is 00:45:07 I was like, all right. Whatever puts food on the table. It's not a bad gig. He hasn't worked on a porn set. Yeah, he made this. Onion Creek, is that him? I wear those t-shirts sometimes. I didn't know it was for a smut.
Starting point is 00:45:17 Bear It All by Laurie Foster. Yeah, that's his apartment. Is it really? Yes, in Austin. Is that him? I don't know. That's's definitely him that's his old stove no that's just uh nicky smoke yeah he produced he said he did the casting oh no he did like the set he did like all of it
Starting point is 00:45:40 is that his mail? Probably. Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, shh. That's his illegal gun. He did have an illegal gun for a while. Is it a burner?
Starting point is 00:45:57 No, it's a gun. He's got... Is he going to fuck because of the gun now? No, she's probably going to try and fuck him and take the gun. Here we go. Oh, no. That's try and fuck him and take the gun here we go Laurie Foster, that's who it was so for she had like this whole big series She's about to ride him Yeah, where'd the gun go To find out.
Starting point is 00:46:25 Yeah, that's true. It's a tease. That's a good trailer. It's already got us asking questions. That's good. Yeah, he made a bunch of these. And I had no idea. I was like, you never thought to mention that?
Starting point is 00:46:34 Look at that. There you go, Seth. You horny? You horny, Seth? Pretty common. Pretty common drink. Been fucking horned up over there? Gotta be.
Starting point is 00:46:41 It has to be, honestly, within the top three most popular drinks on our queen shit Yeah, it's gotta be what water coffee and tea what I've never seen anyone here or at the old office I think he's probably number two Africa has as big tea. Yeah Middle East fancy tea yeah water. I got water coffee tea. It's huge in Africa Does he have as much caffeine as coffee? it like the same uh some of it's uncaffeinated that's what i like i like the throat coat ew dude you guys don't fuck with throat coat make that the title of our book yeah i actually just wrote that i need throat coat i gotta i'm i'm ill don't we all are you how are you feeling today mook i'm feeling better i feel a little
Starting point is 00:47:21 better but i just feel more stuffy today we left did yesterday. We left the show last night, and Sass was like, I'm getting sick. Let's go get, like, what was it? Like a fucking starter pack to... We got vitamin C. I didn't actually even end up having mine. I wish I got the gummies. Did you take the... The NyQuil? NyQuil, yeah. That shit fucks me up. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:38 Did you sleep good? Yeah, I did sleep good. I've been doing an immunity shot every morning, and they suck. I love those, dude. That's what I was looking for yesterday. Black pepper. Ginger. Ginger. I love those.
Starting point is 00:47:49 I think there's like one fruit. Can you just make it yourself? Do it yourself. You need to come in a little glass. They're good. They really wake you up. Yeah. They taste terrible?
Starting point is 00:47:58 They feel healthy. Terrible. No way. They taste like ginger. No. It's like a little burning sensation. You would probably hate it, yeah. Why did that turn into...
Starting point is 00:48:08 You don't like spicy stuff. I don't like spicy or healthy. I don't like, you're right. Or healthy. Well, I don't like spicy. I prefer, I would take healthy. What's your favorite healthy food? And don't say potatoes.
Starting point is 00:48:19 He was going to say potatoes. I don't know. What's the last thing you ate that wasn't fucking khaki? Khaki? A steak. Okay. A steak, yeah. What do you have for sides when you have steak?
Starting point is 00:48:33 Did you touch the green beans at our dinner? No. Do you have any veggies? Your diet is earth tones. It's meat. Are you Al Michaels? I'm not. I like greens. I like not. I like greens.
Starting point is 00:48:45 I like beans. I like tomatoes. Potatoes. Tomatoes. I like tomatoes, potatoes. What about Brussels sprouts? You're going to mix in some sprouts when you're having that steak and potatoes. They're my favorite food. I love
Starting point is 00:49:01 Brussels sprouts. Ever have any hot honey Brussels sprouts? Oh, yummy, yummy. Good as hell. I get soy garlic, bro. Oh. So good. I could kill for some sprouts right now. I might go do that after I get my DJ Moore jersey.
Starting point is 00:49:14 Totally. What do you guys got for bets tonight? Let's get down to it. Maybe he sent his first touchdowns. I know. Are we allowed to say them? I don't know. Why would we not be allowed to say them?
Starting point is 00:49:23 Well, he said he didn't want to put them out. Yeah, he said he doesn't want to show them. But, oh, yeah. Thanks for missing the show. He gave them to us. I'm writing every single one. I don't like telling people either. We were talking about that on Boy Dad.
Starting point is 00:49:31 Or I guess you weren't there. We were talking about that on Boy Dad last week. Because I was like, I put them out once. And then it didn't. And it hit. And everyone was like, holy shit, this is crazy. And then I put it out the next week. And then it didn't hit.
Starting point is 00:49:41 And everyone was like, people were DMing me. And I'm like, dude, I need that money. Yeah. I'm never doing this again. I don't want to be in charge of people's fucking debt every bet i place i put my right on it oh me too yeah and i recommend everybody i was thinking the other day i was thinking if were, if it was a make or break situation, obviously the responsible thing would be not to bet. But if you were like, I need the money. Yeah. I need this money.
Starting point is 00:50:14 You're going to put all of your money on one bet. Yeah. What would it be? I was thinking just Chiefs money line. Yeah, but I wouldn't want to put everything on a minus like 500 favorite well they're minus 500 now but last week in the week in the past they've been minus 100 yeah no i agree it would be something like even close yeah yeah i mean if i'm really i think i'd roulette on black or red really yeah no way that's way harder you wouldn't put it on like a 50 yeah i less i would i'm more inclined to just
Starting point is 00:50:46 play roulette than bet on a game roulette's crazy there's too many variables in a game roulette's just a coin flip yeah there's not yeah exactly there's too many variables i want big on roulette there's too much humanity that gets introduced into a sporting event i broke the house what i beat the house in Vegas. No way. Are you allowed back? They shut me down. They flew me home on a PJ and they said never come back. How much?
Starting point is 00:51:13 How high up were you? A lot of units, brother. What's your unit? Grand? $10. Mine's double that. And I'm sweating it out next to Big Pat on the screen We need this brother Mine's a quarter of yours Dude my unit
Starting point is 00:51:36 My betting is just me trying to stay Above what my What my Total balance is on the app that I use keeping money in the keeping or like or like Not going too far below that you know what I mean Yeah, I got a reload this weekend. Yeah, I had to reload this morning But I'm gonna win it all back tonight so yeah, yeah, I put in the 10 leg parlay medical reel no no no like guys no i've just been betting a lot smarter than i did last year and i'm like thinking about it and i was like maybe if i but it's not as
Starting point is 00:52:12 fun you know because you want to you want the 20 leg parlay that's ten dollars to win a million dollars but i got i got hired here during march madness and then i had to go to those gambling streams. Those were fun. You remember those. I enjoyed those. Do you remember? Yeah, yeah. And I get there, and basically I was told to, like, advertise my bets, and I, like, explained to them. I was like, I don't really gamble on this shit.
Starting point is 00:52:38 And they were like, we thought you were joking. I was like, I told you this before you hired me. I was like, I can talk ball, but, like, I don't really – I don't look at basketball as, like, will Michigan State cover 19.5. I think, like, I told you this before you hired me. I was like, I can talk ball, but like, I don't really, I don't look at basketball as like, will Michigan state cover 19 and a half? I think like, will Michigan state win? Which was just not interesting to them. So anyway, I kept going to these gambling streams and I was like, I don't know what
Starting point is 00:52:56 to say. So Brandon and I are just like fucking off in the background. So anyway, Penn, Penn was like, we, we, we need to get you gambling so you can talk to Dave and Dan about your bets. They put five, they set up an account put five hundred dollars in the account I started using that I got it up to like almost a thousand then I tried to withdraw it and they just zeroed out the account so like throughout March Madness I took my account from 500 to like a thousand and then like somewhere in like mid-April I was like I should just cash that out right
Starting point is 00:53:24 and I went to cash it out and then just like you know just completely like it was like a fucking booby trap it just like slapped shut it was like zero that's awesome good for them um good for them yeah so yeah there you go sass's first bet was uh nate diaz yeah yeah i showed sass how to place a bet. Yeah, in Phoenix last year. Made $60. Then you were hooked. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:50 That's big Logan Paul fight tomorrow. Is it tomorrow finally? Oh, that's tomorrow? Against the Dylan Dane. Yeah, I thought it was way in the future. Is that dude fighting? I still don't think it's going to happen. Zahn and TJ were like,
Starting point is 00:53:59 I feel like it's been like five years that they've been promoting him. He choked out a woman yesterday. Yeah, he did. I did. I saw that. Who? He was in a fight at the press conference. Dylan just now they did is it real or fake i mean
Starting point is 00:54:09 oh oh shit holy fuck oh shit oh shit that was a real haymaker that he threw oh shit that's disrespectful these guys they've thrown sunglasses at each other. Oh, shit. Damn. That's disrespectful. These guys flat out do not like each other. Can you go back real quick? What sunglasses was he wearing in that pic? Oh.
Starting point is 00:54:35 3D glasses. Yeah, they are. With like a red teardrop? You think there's anyone who... Those look like shit. Those are terrible. Terrible. Has there been anyone... They look like they're in movie glasses.
Starting point is 00:54:44 Has there ever been anyone that's fought and has been like, I actually don't hate you. I'm just doing this. Yeah, fighters do it all the time. Yeah, but those fights don't sell. Yeah, I guess that's true. Do you think they actually hate each other? Yes.
Starting point is 00:54:57 No? You think? Yeah, this guy's been trying to ruin his marriage. Yeah, I guess that's true. It's got to be frustrating. Twitter has sucked for three months. But they agreed to fight, and I guess they agreed to just throw it all out there
Starting point is 00:55:08 and be dickheads to each other. Frustrating is such a bad word to use there. After it's over, you think they're... I said, that's got to be frustrating? Yeah. Logan Paul's like, this is really pissing me off. This is annoying. Yeah, this is annoying the hell out of me.
Starting point is 00:55:23 Honey, you just tweeted a picture of your titty. Yeah. What a jerk the hell out of me. Honey, you just tweeted a picture of your titty. Yeah. What a jerk. What a douche. Nick, do the high noon. What about Sassy? He does it for old times. Sassy, you want to do the high noon?
Starting point is 00:55:40 I'm not on the show anymore, so no. Oh, you're right. There you are on the logo, bottom left. Plus, if Sassy does it, I'll be in the shot. Oh, shit, you're right. There you are on the logo, bottom left. Plus if Sans says it, I'll be in the shot. Oh, shit, you're right. That's why I had to move seats. It's time to load up on the ice and break out the oversized long games because the High Noon Game Day Pack, it's back.
Starting point is 00:55:57 It includes limited edition fan faves, pear, cranberry, along with black cherry and grapefruit, made with real vodka, real juice, 100 calories, gluten-free, no added sugar. The High Noon Game Day Pack is a fall exclusive, which means it's here for a good time, not a long time. Visit highnoonspirits.com before your next tailgate to find a pack near you. I like the pear and the cranberry and the black cherry and the grapefruit. Personally.
Starting point is 00:56:21 I didn't mean to play that. I was laughing at that he listed every flavor. Thanks, man. What did you play? I don't know what that was it just came up porno porno i've never been caught watching porn i got caught when i was in i don't know if i was in college or high school but i remember my phone i was using my dad's headphones for something a while ago and then my head my phone connected to my dad's headphones when he was in his room and i he never directly told me that but i remember then something else happened later in the day when they connected again he was like your phone keeps connecting to my headphones and i was like well the last time i was home i was watching porn no i didn't say that but i was thinking it and then since then
Starting point is 00:57:12 like i never have i turn my bluetooth off every time i'm home yeah that's dangerous because it'll connect to the car like it'll connect to my parents car when they turn their car on just watching porn and then like the thing is if you're watching it and notice I'm in landscape, of course. And you don't hear anything. Yeah. You try to turn it up. You're turning it up. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:35 Instantly. That's the first move. Oh, I've had so many people. Because I always use a little Bose speaker around the house. Oh, yeah. If I were to watch such a thing. Sure. That's what would play. If you were, yeah. If I were to watch such a thing. Sure. That's what would play.
Starting point is 00:57:45 If you were a guy. If I was a dude. Yeah, it's bad. What were you saying? I've never been caught watching, but I remember going home into my childhood bedroom. Yeah. And you use a tissue. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:58 And it's the only fucking tissue in the trash can. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, oh, my mom knows I'm fucking jerking off. Yeah, 100%. My parents had to have been curious that I was taking like four showers a day. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:09 Because I wasn't particularly active. No. Or when I would just go and take like a two-hour shit. Yeah, with my PSA. Yeah. Like when you're that young,
Starting point is 00:58:19 your shits should be like 20 seconds long. You're not sitting on there trying to squeeze out a fucking old man turd I Used to always assume that like because there would be a certain rustling noise coming from my room And I lived in a very old house growing up, but you could hear everything yeah And then you stop and then it's just silent
Starting point is 00:58:44 And you're like that must have just been non-stop noise for 10 minutes only hear this in my room yeah yeah i think i jerked off to uh home goods one time in my bathroom home goods yeah like a magazine magazine oh yeah that's just like decor is it not yeah it was just in the bathroom you needed did something like i didn't have it i think my eye are you looking at like the potted plants I didn't have it. I think my eye touch was like. Were you looking at the potted plants, like Georgia O'Keeffe? I think I was trying to find some cleavage wherever I could. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:12 And yeah, that was probably one of the first times I jerked off. I tried to draw a pussy once. It did not look good. Dude, speaking of Georgia O'Keeffe, my new apartment is the walls are filled with Georgia O'Keeffe paintings. Like in the lobby. Yeah. Everywhere. Just Georgia O'Keeffe.
Starting point is 00:59:29 And I didn't know. And then someone was like, yeah, these are pussies. Everywhere. Yeah. All of them are pussies. Yeah. Hmm. What did your first drawn pussy look like?
Starting point is 00:59:36 Yeah, I'd be very curious. So I tried to draw it from behind, actually. From behind. No way. Was there a butthole? That's what I wanted to jerk off to. Oh, man. Start fucking the paper.
Starting point is 00:59:57 Was it a good ass? Yeah. I think the ass would be more important in that situation. I wanted the pussy. That's crazy. that's i was desperate what did you what were you using before then the psp you said psp um and then before that it was like that brick breaker game i've talked about that yeah was there like a pussy you had in mind no i had never seen because you'd never seen one so Because you had never seen one. So you were really just. It was all from like photos of Googling pussy.
Starting point is 01:00:27 It was horizontal. I just didn't have access to it. I thought that the pussy was at penis level until I was weirdly old. You thought it was in the front. Yeah, I thought it was like just right here. Yeah, no, I thought it was direct. Yeah. Direct like an outlet.
Starting point is 01:00:41 It's not. No. It'll shock you. It isn't. That thing's buried buried lower than you think yeah it's pretty much in the asshole they're way closer than you can imagine they're just right there next door neighbors oh yeah that's that's a neighbor that you go over and you go hey do you have any cream? Yeah. We just ran out.
Starting point is 01:01:06 I've knocked on the wrong door before. Dick don't ditch. Oh, fuck, oh, fuck. Woo-hoo. I got thrown out like DJ Jazzy Jack. MTV. DJ Jazzy Jacket. MTV, welcome to my crib. Let me give you a little tour. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:01:43 Kate? I don't know what to say. Okay. Kate, are you... It's crazy that they're so close, and still I'm just like, I'm choosing the gross one. I'm going to try for the gross one. It doesn't work.
Starting point is 01:01:56 The gross one as in what? Which one's the gross one? Let you guys decide. I hope this will make me, like, a cool... I'm going to be a boy mom two boys it'll definitely have the complete opposite effect the amount of you guys just do what you need
Starting point is 01:02:11 when they're in high school no this has been eye opening thank you you're gonna run through tissues fast yeah it won't even be that though it'll be like underwear a lot of crusty underwear that's how it starts yeah yeah it's not gonna be tissues i mean jerk off tech in the
Starting point is 01:02:36 future will be insane yeah yeah we don't even know what they're gonna be jerking off into who knows would you guys are like a spitter? Ew. No. Nope. I don't know. A spitter? That's disgusting. No, you use the same cum rag for years on end. That would be gross to use that. He in bottles all the time.
Starting point is 01:02:59 And then you take it and you just throw it as far as you can. Get it away from me. You just toss it into the corner of your room and then later on later on the evening you got your underwear around your ankles and you got a waddle over to the corner of your room to try and find it pick it up and it fucking crumbles hard there's dust
Starting point is 01:03:21 all over it I say it's like a one and you go and then you rinse it out in the sink or There's dust all over it. Oh. I was going to say, it's like a one and done. And then you rinse it out in the sink or something later, and then you use it again. It never gets rinsed. It never gets rinsed. Yeah. OK.
Starting point is 01:03:35 Much less gross than a spitter. I mean, come on. A spitter would be disgusting. I just have a cum corner. Cum corner. Very hygienic, for sure. Sad plant. I'll lay down like hamster bedding.
Starting point is 01:03:51 Freshen it up. I forget who I was listening to, but they were like, yeah, whenever I go to hotels, I just jerk off on the wall. Ew. Hotels are gross. That's the most disgusting thing you could do. Yeah, that's one of. Fucked up. Why would you do that?
Starting point is 01:04:07 They were just like, yeah, because I can. I guess. You could jerk off at your wall technically at home as well. I guess you don't want to fuck up your walls. Does that fuck up the paint? I don't know. Giant cum stain on your wall. You call a painter in?
Starting point is 01:04:22 Yeah, sorry. Got a lot of cum on the wall. Something's wrong with my walls. I don't know what the hell's going on. They turned me the fuck on. Honey, have you seen my cum spitter? Oh, ew, dude. That is so gross.
Starting point is 01:04:45 It is nasty. Somebody out there has one. There's a guy on 4chan that used an empty CD case, like the ones where you buy blank CDs. Yeah, I've seen that. It's disgusting. What do you mean? It's disgusting.
Starting point is 01:04:57 He's trying to make a bunt cake. There's plenty of viral pictures of people submerging things in jars of cum. Ew. I don't like that. My Little Pony toys. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's a whole genre, right?
Starting point is 01:05:12 What's your favorite birthday present ever? I got a My Little Pony one. Bedazzled. Honestly, I will say, when I got the My Little Pony toy as a child, I didn't think it would last me this long that gift held up it's like an amazon review this thing has been with me forever I think
Starting point is 01:05:33 there's somebody on etsy that like shaves like that that carves like assholes into them and stuff like oh really yours in yeah that's a good career choice yeah yeah Yeah I'm fucking slammed today 10 new toys just got in You think you can have a normal life If you have a job like that? No No? No
Starting point is 01:05:54 No That's gotta be like a secret job Yeah Your entire day is How can I make these guys cum? Yeah but that's a lot of people's entire day That's pretty much our entire day Like I don't know How can I make these guys come? Yeah, but that's a lot of people's entire day. That's pretty much our entire day. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:06:08 How can I make these guys laugh? But instead, they're coming, which debatably is better. No, it's just better. Yeah, it's way better. In an ideal. That's an honorable position. He'd be the biggest in the world. Matt Reif. And he is the biggest in the world.
Starting point is 01:06:24 Yeah, everybody come how many orgasms do you think he's actually given in mid-show it's got to be one a show at least yeah see the good-looking guy oh yeah do people like him or people are like yeah people love him yeah okay i've never met him but from what i've heard everyone says he's a nice guy you know the clip of uh schwarzenegger talking about lifting weights and he's just says the pump is like it's coming i'm just coming i'm coming in the morning i'm coming at night in the morning i think he forgot what's coming we were talking yesterday off air is it the best that's the best feeling of something expelling
Starting point is 01:07:03 from you what's the second best? A really good shit. Better than like a burp when you have to? Or better than like a double snap pimple? Yes. I think a sneeze is up there too. A sneeze is up there. I had a shit.
Starting point is 01:07:14 Oh, and a drunk piss. Yeah, that's good. That is true. I had a shit a while ago that I thought about for like a week straight. Because I was like that was Just like so much relief Dude it was crazy. I was at the stand and I had a stomach I'd such a bad stomach ache and then I shit and it was just like just
Starting point is 01:07:39 just bliss Like while shitting or after work after just like I felt so good. like it like instantly makes you feel better i felt so empty yeah i very rarely feel and so then you thought about it like every day for i thought about it for like a long time like texted my friends if you could go back in time would you choose that day to relive probably yeah it was a great day you have a phase of your life where you took pictures of your shits? Yeah. Are we still in that phase? No. I'm out of it. I sent one to the... I wasn't expecting you to chat. I heard a woman's voice.
Starting point is 01:08:13 The tiniest, tiniest, tiniest. Oh, those are funny. And it was so funny that I couldn't help it. And I was like, I can't just let this go. Someone has to see it. So I sent it to a couple of my friends. Have you ever seen the episode of South Park where the dad takes one and he like, stand, get in here. You got to see this.
Starting point is 01:08:39 The only time I've ever taken a photo is when it's like shockingly long. Yeah, wraps around the. Yeah. Do you send it to anyone or it's like, this is just for me to long. Yeah, it wraps around the toilet. Do you send it to anyone or it's like this is just for me to remember? Yeah, I send that out instantly. I have somewhere I get up and look at it because I'm so disgusted at myself.
Starting point is 01:08:54 I've always thought about that. Are there people that don't look at it? You gotta look at it every time. I have not seen my poop in years. That's crazy. You have to see your poop. You gotta look. I flush as soon as For health reasons. Not even curiosity. What if you're just shitting blood like crazy?
Starting point is 01:09:11 I flush as soon as it hits the water. I flush four or five times during a poop. So you shit the turd, flush, shit the turd, flush, shit the turd, flush, then wipe and flush. I don't want to see it, smell it. As little as possible. Sometimes I'll sit through the smell because I'm like, I need to see what this looks like. Zero contact between me and my poop.
Starting point is 01:09:27 Huh. I think you have to, I think for health reasons you should pay attention to your poop. I know I'm not healthy, but what's the poop gonna tell me? That you're way more unhealthy than you thought you were? Your poop might just be straight up blood. I had an appointment a week ago where the lady was
Starting point is 01:09:42 like, here's a chart, and it was like 15 different turds Like all different guys. She's like what are yours looking like and instead of like the real answer I was like what's the coolest most looking turd on? like that normal one just because they are What's the cool kids are going I'm the chick with the cool turds. She's got that cool shit, man. Yeah, just the plain one, just the normal one.
Starting point is 01:10:09 Because there was some really weird shits on that. The most concerned I ever was was when I was drinking a lot of Guinness, and it came out just jet black. Oh, yeah. And then I looked that up, and it was like, yeah, that means you're dying. Your liver. Yeah, and then it was like, no, it's just because it was the Guinness. Oh.
Starting point is 01:10:24 Which was good. Cleared that up i saw a turd in new york city that looked like i it's on my twitter somewhere but i thought it was a brick of charcoal yeah and it was actually that's an opioid shit yeah opioid shits are rock hard because they get constipated yeah opioids like suck the liquid out of all of your body yeah and so their shits are like the exact mold of their intestines. It was the craziest shit I've ever seen. I saw something about Pompeii that it's not actually the people in ash. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:56 The people of Pompeii filled up the ash, the dead people, with plaster after they were vaporized. And so it's not real. Maybe I'm dumb. Wait, say that again? there's like a chart i saw so the guys i've been following for a lot of fake shit recently perfectly um like the crawling guy yeah the the perfectly preserved guy from pompeii is not real like well he is real they came across covered in ash and then it was drying and they filled up that with plaster i guess they like opened his mouth and poured no no no i think like they were he was covered in ash hardened but it was drying and they filled up that with plaster, I guess. They like opened his mouth and poured No, no, no. I think like he was covered in ash hardened, but then his body probably burnt.
Starting point is 01:11:30 Oh, it was decomposed by now. Yeah, so they fill it in like a I think that's, I don't know if it's true or not. It kind of ruined Pompeii for me. Do you know that aliens in Mexico were cake? There are no bodies, but there were plaster casts of bodies. You dog. Space left behind with hardened ash. Oh, they were.
Starting point is 01:11:46 Were they? The Mexican aliens were cake. No, they weren't. So... That was fake, too. So why did they do this? Just for... I don't know, Pop. I don't know why they do it. Are you tripping again? TJ showed me a video of the aliens being cake today, and I liked it. You fell for that. I didn't fall for it. I just liked it.
Starting point is 01:12:02 I wanted to fall for it. I wanted them to be cake. I want everything to be cake. Look, look. They're cake. That might just be you. That's the alien in Mexico. God damn. That's breaking news.
Starting point is 01:12:15 That looks good. Alien revealed his cake. Looks delicious. Yeah, like a butterscotch. I want cake, too. Here's a good looking cake. I want cake, too, now. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:23 Tres leches. I want alien cake.'s a good looking cake I want cake too now oh yeah Tres Leches I want alien cake stop being fat Brandon damn Brandon damn you gonna take that yeah yeah I am maybe you should listen to him
Starting point is 01:12:39 maybe I should just stop just stop being fat why just stop no I'm good have you been to the gym yet that you joined Maybe I should. Just stop. Stop what? Just stop. Being fat. Well, why? Just stop. No, I'm good.
Starting point is 01:12:48 Have you been to the gym yet that you joined? Yes. I walked a couple miles two Tuesdays ago. There you go. That's good. All right. Yeah, so. Frank, the tank's been going on his walks.
Starting point is 01:13:00 He's been on 13 or 14 in a row now. Jinx just getting everybody in shape. Yeah. He's working out mincey, too. Yeah. Jinx just getting everybody in shape. Yeah. He's working out Mincy, too. Yeah, via Zoom. Yeah, they had their second workout today. I think their first was three weeks ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:11 Which is, like I said, I worked out two Tuesdays ago. Me and Mince alternate days of the month. That's fair. Yeah. He goes the first Monday. I go the third Wednesday. Are you and Mincy cool? Yeah, we're fine. Me and everybody are cool. I'm cool with everybody. Good. Yeah. He goes the first Monday. I go the third Wednesday. Are you and Mincy cool? Yeah, we're fine.
Starting point is 01:13:25 Me and everybody are cool. I'm cool with everybody. Good. Yeah. Did he get a place here yet? Or he's still looking? No, I don't think he's going to. Maybe January.
Starting point is 01:13:34 Oh, okay. He just signed his contract. Oh, yeah, that's right. Was he under a contract before? I don't know. It's all relative. Damn straight. Thanks, Lance.
Starting point is 01:13:48 Oh, dude, I had my dozen match come out last night. I've been getting screenshots of you. Were you too close to the camera? I was just way too close to the camera. Yeah, the entire time. Oh, no, butthole eyes. That is so bad. Oh, Mook, you look tired in that photo.
Starting point is 01:14:03 I'm fucking exhausted. You look way older. Is this one of those Pompeii festers? Iook, you look tired in that book. I'm fucking exhausted. You look way older. Is this one of those Pompeii clusters? I mean, look, that's bad lighting, but I am exhausted. That is. It looks like you got someone peeing the shit out of you. Yeah. That's disgusting, man.
Starting point is 01:14:19 Oh, fuck off. I've been grinding, dude. Why does it look like the purple is dripping down Off the side of your left eye Get out of here Yeah the dark circles under his eyes were like Someone's gotta fucking edit the podcast I don't know man
Starting point is 01:14:40 I'm tired How'd you guys do? We won So are you in the league? I'm in the play-in tournament I don't know what any. I'm tired. How'd you guys do? We won. So are you in the league? I'm in the play-in tournament. I don't know what any of that means. Neither do I. I don't think Jeff knows what it means.
Starting point is 01:14:51 I think they're all playing, and it's ultimately going to be a fan vote. So if you win, I'm not sure it matters. Is half of it fan vote? There's eight teams playing. Yep. Each team plays twice. The teams that win move on to the second round of the play-in tournament. The teams that win that make it.
Starting point is 01:15:10 So three teams make it from that. And then one of the eight teams is pure fan vote. So they could go 0-2 and score zero points and make the league. Jeff's number one fetish is trivia competitions where he's the only person on earth that knows how it works. Yes. Yeah. Also, scoring is down to the hundredth now. Is it? Trivia competitions where he's the only person on earth that knows how it works. Yes. Yeah. Also, scoring is down to the hundredth now.
Starting point is 01:15:28 Is it? I think like Kelly Keeg scored like 13.67. I scored 3.33, I believe. Yeah. All right. It's your show, Brandon. That's what you say all the time. I haven't heard from him. You say this is your show.
Starting point is 01:15:41 You know, I've let him borrow it for a while. We'll see how he returns it to me. What kind of shape he returns it to me in November. Are you still on the same team or did you get traded? Why would I ever get traded? I thought there was movement. No, there is movement. I thought you were like teaming up with Kirk or some shit.
Starting point is 01:15:55 No, we're the experts. We're the main team. PFT and Fran try to poach me. Say psych. Psych. Psych. Okay. I was shocked my team won yesterday. You guys are good.
Starting point is 01:16:10 I think you're well spread out. You were decent, but I go 0 for regularly on the daily dozen. Like just 0 for 12. How did you do on PokeDuke? Google them like everybody else does and put the screenshot out. Like Captain Collins. Nah, I can't do that. Brandon, did you do PokeDuke today?
Starting point is 01:16:23 I didn't do PokeDoku today or any day. What's Pokedoku? Glad you asked. That's the Pokemon daily grid. Pretty easy, actually. It was a good one today. Yeah. So not bad.
Starting point is 01:16:36 I don't even know what a single thing is. Fuck this up. Well, one of them is a dragon. Electric dragon is Pikachu, obviously. That's just straight up electric. Obviously. Electric baby is Pikachu. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:51 Close. I think electric poison is also, is it Pikachu? Nah, nah, nah. Fighting dragon is Charizard. Yes. A Pichu, yeah. Do fighting dragon Charizard, please. He's not a fighting dragon.
Starting point is 01:17:03 Ooh. You just. That's where I get my China food from not Fighting dragon. Oh you just that's where I get my china food from fighting What was the what was the name of your guys like local Chinese restaurant chungs garden chungs garden Chungs guard we had to we had silver chopsticks and golden chopsticks hated each other. Oh, shit. I had Osaka, Sushi Man, and China Delight. Starkville had China Royale, and it was good as fuck. That does sound good. We had Sangs. Sangs?
Starting point is 01:17:35 Yeah. With a T. Oh! Yeah. In Philly, I had Golden Panda as well. Golden Panda. Chung's Garden has been in business in West Point, Mississippi, town of 8,000, for 35 years.
Starting point is 01:17:48 How is it? Exactly how you would expect a West Point, Mississippi, Chinese place to be, but it somehow just keeps going. My buddy, Vincent Gu, seven-foot-tall Chinese guy on my lacrosse team, he tried to open up a Chinese restaurant in Pittsburgh called Gu's Palace, but I think it was a COVID fatality. Gu's Palace is going to have a tough time yeah what was it in brownsburg we didn't have one what no uh chinese we're not welcome chinese we're not welcome in henricks county indiana i never had it no i don't know i don't i don't
Starting point is 01:18:20 know what our restaurant was i didn't i'm struggling to find like a good one here like you know my favorite decompression thing is struggling to find like a good one here. Like, you know, my favorite decompression thing is just to like watch a rom-com and eat orange chicken. Yeah, me too, man. And it's just, yeah, it's the best. What's your, give me your go-to rom-com with your go-to chicken. On Sunday, I watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall. That's classic. And then did Orange Chicken, a little bit of Rangoon Action.
Starting point is 01:18:45 I feel like Sarah Marshall leans more towards the calm and less of the rom. Yeah. Yeah. The calm or the calm? The calm. The calm. The calm. There's a lot of romance in there.
Starting point is 01:18:55 A lot of calm in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Not as much rom. There is some rom. There's full frontal in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, right? Yeah. Jason Segel. Male full frontal. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:03 He's dick a lot. Flap. We were talking about this earlier. We're going to date with Tad Hamilton. Great Jason Segel. Maleful. Yeah. He's dick a lot, yeah. Flap. We were talking about this earlier, but Win a Date with Tad Hamilton, great rom-com, nobody talks about it. No, it's not great. Wait, what's it called? Because Topher Grace was a dickhead,
Starting point is 01:19:13 and he should not have ended up with Kate Boswell. So you're saying Tad Hamilton should have got the girl? Tad Hamilton was the better guy. Tad Hamilton was a fine guy, but he didn't love her. Dude. He didn't love her. He loved the idea of her. Look how fucking Topher Grace acted. You know, he was a better guy. Tad Hamilton was a fine guy, but he didn't love her. Dude. He didn't love her. He loved the idea of her. Look how fucking Topher Grace acted.
Starting point is 01:19:28 You know, he was a spoiled brat. When was the last time you watched her? When was the last time you watched her? Love made him be that. No, it was lust. You think? Yeah. It was prime Bosworth.
Starting point is 01:19:37 Well, that's what got into Tad Hamilton. What was that stuff? Once they got in the plane, he knew. She was lusting after him. But he knew they weren't a match. He knew. They were perfect. Tadilton was the better guy meanwhile pete pete absolutely loved her tad hamilton was the better guy if you watch it tonight don't touch me just call me touch me
Starting point is 01:19:54 sometimes okay blue crush that's what i'm thinking of kate bosworth was in that too right yeah that's a cute way have you ever seen that she was in the superman reboot oh i didn't know that wasn't she in a superman she was Lois Lane. She was like one of my first wallpapers on my iPhone. She has two different colored eyes, right? Does she? Really? Or at least in Blue Cross she does.
Starting point is 01:20:14 That's Max Scherzer, I believe. Ah. I always get them. That's Max Scherzer. You might be thinking of Max Scherzer. Cy Young, award-winning pitcher noted nut job max scherzer she's out of my league was also a good rom-com yeah it's a great one yeah that was a good one well you talk about some titties pittsburgh boys the holland cover bands a very
Starting point is 01:20:39 big uh slept on one is that awkward moment i I didn't like it Zac Efron Michael B and Adam Devine no I don't know. I didn't I didn't uh miles teller miles teller Huh, I didn't quite like that one as much crazy stupid love is number one crazy stupid love is great So funny how to lose guys days. I hate them why well,? the movie's awesome Gosling's charming 10 things I hate about you is one and also how to lose a guy in 10 days that's with McConaughey
Starting point is 01:21:12 what's the one with Lainey Briggs she's all that oh yeah I was thinking I'm not another teen movie it was Lainey Boggs Lainey Boggs and then No Strings Attached and Friends With Benefits
Starting point is 01:21:26 are just the same movie. Yeah. Friends With Benefits sucked. Is that Timberlake in? Yeah. Yeah. It's all right. I like Kutcher more.
Starting point is 01:21:35 Yeah, me too. What's the one here in Chicago with he's tall, he was in Wedding Crashers, and then Jennifer Aniston. The Breakup. The Breakup is a good one. Breakup's good.
Starting point is 01:21:44 That one will get you right in the strings. It's not really a happy ending in that one. That was like 2006 I want to say. I went and saw that with my high school girlfriend and then we had been dating You were out of high school. Way out of high school. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:00 We were 17 years old. I was my high school girlfriend. My high school sweetheart This sophomore I was dating I remember we left the theater And we'd been dating For like four years And she goes
Starting point is 01:22:11 That's us And I was like What? Breakup I was like So are we breaking up? She's like no no no I just thought like that was us
Starting point is 01:22:18 And I was like That seems like Oh yeah Did you dump her ass? No No They stopped that reaction Oh, yeah. Did you dump her ass? No. I'm assuming no. They stopped that reaction. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:22:30 Did you miss her? I should call her. Did you guys break up? That's a kick in the dick, though. You see a movie called The Breakup. Yeah. And it was a nice little date night, a little dinner in the movie. And then she's like, yeah, that's us.
Starting point is 01:22:46 I was like, okay. Yeah, that's never a good one. That's not something you want to hear after a movie like that. I saw Sid and Nancy in there. Oh, 500 Days of Summer. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good plane movie.
Starting point is 01:23:00 That's a sad one, right? Or not a sad one, but that's one. That one's heavy on the calm. But that's not like a, it's the girl one. It's not even a sad one, but that's one. That one's heavy on the calm. But that's not like a, yeah, it's the girl one. There's tons of ROM. It's all about ROM. It's dependent ROM. It starts with the ROM and ends with the.
Starting point is 01:23:15 Does it matter if the ROM's in it? It's still ROM. I think it has to end ROM-ly. It does end ROM-ly. I love you, man. I love you, man. It's good, too. That's more calm than ROM.
Starting point is 01:23:24 That's more calm. What's the perfect 50-50 split of Rom and Calm? I love you, man's a bromance. Yeah. It's not even about the woman. It's a bro-com. Huh. 50-50 split? When Harry Met Sally, it's too much Rom.
Starting point is 01:23:40 Too much Rom. Right? Too much Rom. Sleepless in Seattle, too much Rom. Way too much Rom. Wedding Crashers has a good... Wedding Crashers is pretty much ROM Wedding Crashers has a good Cause the Wedding Crashers Is pretty serious Wedding Crashers is pretty heavy On the COM though People debate if that's even a ROM COM
Starting point is 01:23:51 Yeah I think that's just straight up comedy Pardon me It's okay What about Knocked Up That's heavy ROM Oh All those were heavy COM
Starting point is 01:23:59 But that's heavy ROM All Judd Apatow was Pretty heavy ROM 40 year old version Heavy COM That was a closer Than That was closer than Knocked Up, I think. Huh. Huh.
Starting point is 01:24:08 Huh. Huh. Now you say it. Huh. I'll do it. Huh. You know what I think should count as a rom-com? What?
Starting point is 01:24:16 A Knight's Tale. I agree. And I love that movie. Yeah, yeah. It's a good one. That's a very good movie. Yeah. I watch that one often. Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh. It's a good one. That's a very good movie. Yeah. Yeah. I watch that one often.
Starting point is 01:24:25 Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh, another slept on one is This Is 40 with Rudd and Leslie Mann. Oh, yeah. I've seen that. That's another Jedi. That one's really good. That one's funny.
Starting point is 01:24:35 I've seen that one a lot, yeah. Huh. 50 First Dates. Sad. It is sad. Kind of. But it's wrong. Yeah, it is wrong.
Starting point is 01:24:44 That one's not great, actually. Okay. Just go with it. I actually love that one. No, I'm looking up all the rom-coms. It's Sandler and Aniston, and who's the hot young chick? With the big bags. Big bags.
Starting point is 01:24:59 Oh, is that Brooklyn Decker? Yes. Oh, yeah. Palm Springs. Have you guys seen Palm Springs? It's a good one. Yeah, that's Sandler. What a serve on antibiotic. What a serve. Palm Springs. Have you guys seen Palm Springs? It's a good one. Yeah, that's a... What a serve on antibiotic. What a serve.
Starting point is 01:25:07 I couldn't return it. No. Did you see Trump returning Serena Williams? Holy shit! What? She's gonna run back mostly sports. Oh, yeah. No, did y'all see? Did y'all for real see Trump returning? No, I didn't see it again. Oh, that was that long. I thought that was like...
Starting point is 01:25:22 No, I've never seen this. I had never seen it. And it's one of my favorite clips I've ever seen. So impressive. Watch this. It looks like a sketch. Whatever you expect. Oh, no. All right, Serena Williams with the serve. She's serving it, and then.
Starting point is 01:25:39 Holy shit. I did not see that coming. What a forehand. Watch this. Watch this. It was good to see him out there. And the fans seemed to enjoy it. Fucking winners.
Starting point is 01:25:50 Oh, my goodness. Our greatest living comedian, Donald Trump. That was impressive. I did not expect that. TJ, you want to spin the wheel? Huh. I forgot to do the parking. TJ, you want to spin the wheel? Huh. I forgot to do the parking. Oh, now.
Starting point is 01:26:09 I'm going to have a ticket. Oh, fuck. They don't tow, do they? No, they just give you a ticket. No, they'll ticket you, though. That's fine. I forgot it. Hours.
Starting point is 01:26:16 Reset. Oh, Kate, that is the darkest turd I've ever seen. Yeah. Yep. Not hers, but it's what she has. I think that might be burnt. Yes. Well, I couldn't tell, but I thought.
Starting point is 01:26:26 But people said, no, that's like what drug shits look like. I said, I don't know. Here? Yeah. Or your apartment. Peaches said, all of our AC units will be shut down for deep cleaning tomorrow. That might be for New York. Well, it's getting cool out.
Starting point is 01:26:42 Those surviving barstool guys must have fucked that office up. I heard the AC guy was hanging out at the office. Oh, yeah. He loves to. cool out. Those surviving barstool guys must have fucked that office up. The AC guy was hanging out at the office. Oh yeah, he loves to. That's two resets. Double reset. Double reset. Third one. Somebody has to get naked. We're not adding pumpkin butt
Starting point is 01:26:59 to the wheel. Oh shit. Are people still really passionate about the wheel. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Are people still really passionate about the wheel? They've gotten considerably less passionate about the yak since we moved to Chicago. Oh, okay. Fill off. No, they're very passionate about everything. This show added a couple new guys, and they fucking suck.
Starting point is 01:27:22 Luke and Titus don't get it. Titus, I thought you got it. I started out hot. I ran out of material real fast. They liked him until they found out that he was replacing you. Yeah. Yeah, what can you do? I think they love me now.
Starting point is 01:27:37 Can't all be winners. The chat loves me now. They came up with a code to say how much they love me. They put L Titus. Does it love Titus? Love. Yeah. They tried to do thatitus. Does it love Titus? Love. Yeah. They tried to do that for me, but it really didn't work.
Starting point is 01:27:48 Lass? Yeah, they would do Lass. Girl. Yeah. Girl. So. Jossie, did we talk about Bigfoot yesterday? No. Did we try to do Pokey Dooku yet?
Starting point is 01:27:58 Yeah, we have. Yeah. Okay. Did you guys guess Toxtricity for Poison and Okay That's what I would have guessed You could give us the answers And then we could debate Where in the grid they go
Starting point is 01:28:12 Oh that's a good idea You know what I mean You could say Yeah say the Say the answer And we'll We'll debate Yeah say an answer
Starting point is 01:28:20 And we'll try to figure out Where on the grid It's supposed to go Yeah Nick did you see that video Of those two cops Ignoring the big call because they were playing Pokemon?
Starting point is 01:28:27 I sure did, yeah. I get it. Sure you got tagged in like a million times. I have emulators with like Super Nintendo and Game Boy Advance and all that, and my middle son, who I've never named on the show, disappears into my basement every day and plays the old Pokemon games from the 90s every day. They're great. There's a certain charm to them, a je ne sais quoi. Yeah. to my basement every day and plays the old Pokemon games from the 90s every day. And he loves them.
Starting point is 01:28:45 There's a certain charm to them. A je ne sais quoi. Yeah. So with the French call, I don't know what. I don't know what that means. Yeah. It's the first time
Starting point is 01:28:53 I think I've used it. All right, so give us an answer. Togepi. Togepi. I'm thinking Togepi. That sounds like a baby name. Togepi. I'm going to go baby
Starting point is 01:29:02 and I'm going to go... Poison. I'd like to know what Joht joe joe's a region that's would be gen 2 the second generation of pokemon so it's an electric fighting or joe i'm gonna say that's the joe to baby what does the right mean the unique 900.0 we'll worry about that later that's that's just the grid brandon you're right oh hey oh oh i see yeah yeah okay holy i just nailed that shit that's just nailed that shit. That just updates the score in real time on the right?
Starting point is 01:29:28 Give us another answer. Okay. Got it. Zekrom. Zekrom. That sounds electric. That's electric. Poison? It doesn't sound like a dragon, and it doesn't sound like a baby.
Starting point is 01:29:39 Zekrom. You think that's an electric poison? That sounds like an electric poison. That sounds electric poison. Electric poison. Let's do Zekrom. Well, you can look at it too. Uh-oh.
Starting point is 01:29:50 Oh, shit. That's a dragon. That looks electric. That could be still. Or is that a poison? That's not a baby. That's a dragon. That's a dragon.
Starting point is 01:29:58 Electric dragon. Zekrom? Yeah. Let's go. All right. Come on, boys. Let's go, boys. Fuck yeah. We know Pokeball.ball yeah we do um we know ball these are three guys who know ball let's go crowbat crowbat okay crowbat
Starting point is 01:30:16 is definitely a fighter crowbat it's a dragon too i think it's a dragon a joe toe dragon but it could be a baby he might be i think nick might be going for the tic-tac-toe finish on us, and it might be a fighting poison. Crobat? You think Crobat's a fighting poison, you fucking idiot? You see? Are you serious? Oh, Nicky's smirking over there.
Starting point is 01:30:37 But that wouldn't be a dragon. So it's a baby. It's a baby. It's a baby. It's a baby. It's a baby. Fighting baby. Fighting baby.
Starting point is 01:30:44 Fighting baby. Fighting baby. Crobat. Fighting baby Crobat. What? What? Oh, you're right. Sorry. I'm getting there. It wasn't a baby. It's a baby. It's a baby. It's a baby. Fighting baby. Fighting baby. Fighting baby. Fighting baby. Fighting baby crowbat. What? What? What? Oh, you're right. Sorry.
Starting point is 01:30:49 I'm getting. It wasn't a dragon. It's a bat. I got my wires crossed. Oh, no. Oh, what is it, Nick? That's Johto poison. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:30:56 I knew it was a poison. Y'all taught me how to poison. It's a bat. Bats are poison. Oh. Um, fuck. Uh, I'm going gonna say this wrong komo oh komo oh yeah komo well that would be a dragon that's supposed to komodo can you say it right i cannot okay that would be there's like a space komo komo ho oh oh that's a fighting dragon komono dragon i. That's a fighting dragon. Kimono dragon. I think it's a Jotu dragon.
Starting point is 01:31:25 But it might be a fighting dragon. Yeah. There you go. Look how sweet that looks. That's a beautiful dragon. Ty Rogue. Ty Rogue. That's just a character from that book you read.
Starting point is 01:31:41 Very good. I mean, you could start with this one. That's the neighbor in that whole book. Very good. I mean, you could... That's... If Tyrogue was in that book, what would he be on here? That's a baby. That's a fighting baby. That's a fighting baby.
Starting point is 01:31:56 That's a fighting baby. That's a fighting baby. We're not... We're kind of killing it. We're kind of killing it. Kingdra. Kingdra killing it. Kingdra. Kingdra? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:09 Kingdra. Kingdra. Yeah. That's a Johto dragon. Johto dragon. That's your Johto dragon? That's your Johto dragon. Kingdra.
Starting point is 01:32:17 Kingdra. Does it look like a dragon? Yeah, dude. Y'all dorks for real. This is embarrassing. Is this my new dozen niche? All right. Your hymen is like growing back.
Starting point is 01:32:31 We done? Yeah, we have to keep doing this. All right. Y'all want to get on out of here? You always do, man. You always do. No, I don't. I can't wait to get out of here.
Starting point is 01:32:40 I hate when people say that. Why are you always the one that wants to get out of here? You are here every day. Not many are. I opened it. I brought it it in i i gotta take it out i don't know when to time it perfectly but you always you always tell t when big cat's not here you're always the one that's been you a seven day a week guy but i'm trying to run this i'm trying to to run point he's at host mode are you trying to get out of it are you trying to get out of the
Starting point is 01:32:58 co i'm trying to go get a dj more jersey he's trying to go to get a dj more are you trying to get out of the co is my question are you trying to make it be big cat bfw and co because it feels like you're trying to work your way out of the co we could pull if big cat's not here i i do get pulled out now you think it should be bfw and co yep that's what i'm trying to do all right well we'll we'll talk about this more tomorrow you know you know what we'll just got into we'll talk about this more tomorrow on the act is he officially co are you co you might not even be co i might not even be co talking what are mook and i co and co you're not are we lowercase co pond scum brother his ass is still co you go yeah you're co's co we're the co's co we're the co's co all right go buy your dj more jersey
Starting point is 01:33:40 let's see your DJ Morgerson. That's a yeah. Bye.

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