The Yak - The Belch To End All Belches | The Yak 11-16-21
Episode Date: November 17, 2021Shiny potsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the Yak. Chicken throat. Chicken throat.
It's the Yak.
Why don't you go ahead and welcome people to the Yak, Brandon.
Do your hosting job.
Welcome us.
It's the Yak.
All right, yeah, I got my barstool bikes.
I'll get home.
It's a chicken tender sitting on top of a of nate's three stacks of high society
which is a poker reference all right he decided to not call them chips
welcome into the yak it is the yak all right nick stanko you're looking like an eight mile extra
you're just firing bullets turn to the camera fucking stanko the legend're looking like an eight-mile extra. You're just firing bullets. Turn to the camera.
Fucking Stanko.
The legend.
It's weird to see him clothed.
It really is.
There's Steve J. back there enjoying his food.
And T.J., he's focused on the yak chat, flirting with the four girls in there.
Oh, yeah, I've rewatched the episodes, you horny motherfucker.
Yeah, he is in there.
TJ uses this hour to e-date.
Steve Klan!
Oh, man.
What's going on? Big Cat said he's going to be
a few minutes late.
I'll be leaving at 1.30.
For the dozen. Yeah, I gotta do trivia.
It's us against Uptown Balls today.
I mean,
why don't you go ahead
and spoil it
before it airs?
1.30?
So we do this
every single day.
There's cowboys
behind the glass
taking pics and whatnot.
What's up, guy?
They are staring us down.
Yeah.
What are you calling him into?
Okay, the cowboy's coming in.
Why wouldn't I invite
a cowboy in?
Nick, he's apprehensive.
Get your fucking ass in here then. Why wouldn't I invite a cowboy in? Nick, he's apprehensive. Get your fucking ass in here, then.
Why wouldn't I invite a damn fucking ranch hand?
Yeah.
Have a seat, buddy.
Yeah, yeah, come on.
Have a seat.
All right.
How we doing?
You don't have to take your hat off.
The hat's the main reason we brought you in here.
He's a gentleman.
Oh, shit.
All right.
Have a seat.
What's up?
Hey.
Good to see you, Brandon.
How we doing?
Say, Chris.
I'm Nick.
Chris Copper? Copper, yeah. Chris Copper? That, Chris. Hey. I'm Nick. Chris Copper.
Copper, yeah.
Chris Copper?
That's one hell of a name you got.
Chris Copper.
Yes, sir.
And Kyle B.
What are you doing here?
Well, I'm with my counterparts here, and we are coming up here to do a podcast with Zero
Blog 30 folks.
Ah.
Yeah.
And so, anyway, yeah, we're... I figured. to do a podcast with ZeroBlog30Face. And
so anyway,
we're going to be talking about
some things that we're doing.
Both myself and the gentleman over there
are both military.
And we're at the latter portions of our
career. What branch of service are you in?
We're both in the Army. Thank you for your service.
Thank you. I appreciate it. It has been my
pleasure. Good stuff. This is my first time in New York and we just got a VIP treatment in the army thank you for your service thank you hey it has been my pleasure you know good stuff
yeah we've been this is my first time in new york and we just got a vip treatment over at the world
trade center um do you like it in new york i'm loving it sucks really no see that's for my first
time but visiting but living is different where are you from i'm originally from florida but i'm
living in north carolina i'm stationed down at fort Bragg. Yeah. And it's very, you know, different.
I mean, because we're on the west side of Fort Bragg, very rural.
Yeah.
And, you know, we live, you know, this country here, Pinehurst.
Maybe some of you have heard about Pinehurst.
Sure.
Yeah.
Well, we have people that live there.
Yeah, we do.
So anyway, that's where we're at.
Do you ever, do you get emotional when you leave the Pinehurst area?
Well, I'm not from there.
Oh, I see.
Well, it doesn't even matter sometimes. If you stay long enough around Pinehurst, you can't help but to, like, well up when you leave the Pinehurst area? Well, I'm not from there. Oh, I see. Well, it doesn't even matter sometimes.
If you stay long enough around Pinehurst, you can't help but to well up when you leave.
Well, when I leave Florida, because I'm from Florida, I do get a little emotional when I leave Florida.
You sound like you're a panhandle guy.
No, you're deep Florida.
No, central.
Central.
I've grown up in Georgia.
You look like an Ocala guy.
I have to look like an Ocala guy.
Now we're nailing it.
Now we're nailing it. Yeah? Now we're nailing it.
Yeah.
So you, horses.
More cattle.
More cattle.
Yeah.
A ranch hand.
No, no, no.
No, no.
I was looking at Brandon.
He dipped his chicken tender too deep.
I've been getting, they've been making fun of my hat.
Okay.
I've been getting, that's my wife gave me this hat.
My lucky hat.
It's a good hat.
Thank you.
Check it out.
Oh yeah, please.
So it's a nice, it's lighter than I expected it to be. Real hat. It's a good hat. Thank you. Check it out. Oh, yeah, please. It's a nice hat.
It's lighter than I expected it to be.
It's a little nice.
It keeps it warm.
Hey, Kate.
We just decided to take him.
Yeah, we took him.
So there's no reason
to listen to Zero Blog 30 this week.
Right.
This is Chris Copper.
I don't know if you've met him.
What a name on you.
Chris Copper,
you even got to be in the Army
or a magician?
You went the right way.
Is that a stage name?
No, man.
Does the Marine Corps have one?
Do they ever take up stage names?
We don't have a Chris Copper, that's for sure.
Because you're Marines, right?
Yes.
I don't want to intimidate you at all.
Look, I'm going to tell you, that's actually the truth.
I got a story about that.
Even though she's a woman.
Hey, look, check it out. She's lactating. I'll keep this short. Speaking of which, we'll touch story about that. Even though she's a woman. Hey, look, check it out.
She's lactating.
I'll keep this short.
Speaking of which, we'll touch back on that.
On the lactation?
Yes.
I just learned a fun fact.
That's awesome.
I'll just say it now, real quick, real quick.
The milk doesn't come out of just one.
It comes out of a whole bunch, the whole nipple.
Right, it's a lot.
Wait, there's ducts?
Wait, it doesn't just have one hole?
Several ducts. No, you doesn't have one hole? Several ducts.
No, you can even have.
Not one hole.
This is a great way to break the ice with the CBT guests.
Trust me, I'm all about this.
I've actually put in my coffee before.
You can even leak milk out of your armpits.
Shut up.
That's not right.
I swear to God.
Yes, it's true.
I didn't know that.
110% true.
Is that just because you're.
I think you were laying on your back.
Okay. Women are disgusting. That's the you were laying on your back. Okay.
Women are disgusting.
Easy, TJ.
You know if it was up to us, though, to have kids?
Yeah, always be.
This world wouldn't be populated.
No, no, because we're big pussies, right?
Exactly.
Oh, absolutely.
That's right.
Damn right.
Can I steal my guest phone?
Yeah, y'all can have it.
Thank you, Chris.
It's been a pleasure.
Like and subscribe to ZeroBlock30.
We also talk about PressMock on there, too.
Do you? Nice meeting you, man. Nice to meet you, Chris. It's been a pleasure. Like and subscribe to ZeroBlock30. We also talk about breast milk on there, too. Do you?
Nice meeting you, man.
Nice to meet you, Chris.
Sorry for stealing your guy.
His fault for being dressed in the get-up.
He's getting pulled in.
Chris Copper.
What a fucking name.
Yeah.
He liked me.
He really liked you.
Oh, you had extra.
Yeah, extras. All right had extra. Extras.
Amen.
Of course.
He's got good hair, too.
He's got great hair.
He's covering that thing up with a hat.
But he's covering up great hair with a great hat.
But he's also 25.
I would have bet large amounts of money he was a panhandle Florida guy.
But I guess Central Florida is a little more.
Ocala was a cowboy type vibe yeah it was yeah that middle part of florida that isn't near a coast
is is an interesting that's what you guys did though right non-coastal florida not yeah did
you find any chris coppers living in the wild we found a chris diamond which was ironic
so absolutely he's just under a lot more pressure with work.
All right.
Well, that was good.
That was only eight fucking minutes.
Eight minute diversion. Oh, no.
All right.
We just have some.
Okay.
I need somebody else.
A big hat to walk in.
How about the owner of the RV park?
Are we talking Arizona or Florida?
Florida.
Florida.
Interesting guy.
He was talking wild the whole time.
Then at the end of the night, he just dropped that he has an adopted black son who's a five-star recruit.
What?
And he's going to Alabama.
He's getting recruited by Alabama and Auburn.
It was a picture of a white boy and a black boy on his background of his phone.
He was like, there's my son.
And I made a joke.
He was like, which one?
I said that.
And he pointed to the black one.
So this was last year, right?
So this guy is now a freshman in Alabama?
No, I think he was a junior.
Okay.
So he's a senior.
I don't know.
It is my dream to adopt a five-star athlete.
I don't think so.
I don't think so.
That's my dream.
I think he was like, I don't know if he was telling the truth or not,
because Kyle went and looked.
You were creepy. You were creepier than him. I think he was like, I don't know if he was telling the truth or not, because Kyle went and looked. You were creepy.
You were creepier than him.
I was.
What you did was creepier than making up a fake black sun.
And FBS.
FBS.
An FBS player.
Did you guys see, first of all, I'm really, really happy and proud of Frank's new apartment.
It looks great.
It's a significant upgrade.
And he works really hard for it.
He does.
He tested out his dishwasher yesterday.
And did you guys watch the video of him taking the dishes out of the dishwasher?
No.
You need to see.
Can we see that, TJ?
There's a twist towards the end of the video.
Of taking dishes out of a dishwasher?
He is the king of comedy, and I'm saying that without an ounce of irony or hyperbole.
While he's pulling that up, you guys, the TED Talk,
he's typing G2G to the girls in chat.
All right, we can fast forward a little bit.
I guess that means it's done.
It does get, the lens gets a little steamy.
Actually, no, this is a nice POV of his camera.
Because you zoom in, he goes right into his shirt to clean it up. The lens gets a little steamy. Actually, no. This is a nice POV of his camera.
You zoom in.
He goes right into his shirt to clean it up.
He's the purest man.
He is.
He really is.
All right. So bring it out.
The top row doesn't matter.
It's the bottom row.
I'm going to spoil it for you guys.
An all-time belch.
And he just rolls with it.
How deep are we into the video for you?
Is this Frank's first dishwasher It's really good, look at that, it's shining
It's shining
Alright, I'll let them
Play it again
Look at that.
It's shining.
It's shining.
All right, I'll let them cool down and dry overnight.
Shining.
It's shining.
That was textbook belch. All right, I'll let them cool down and dry overnight.
Was this live? He's so goddamn overnight. Was this live?
He's so goddamn good.
Was this live?
Yeah.
No, it wasn't live.
He posted that video.
Okay.
So Kyle and I worked three hours on a 40-second video.
Frank does one take of that and just blows us out of the water.
Oh, man.
What a find.
You watched that whole video and it paid off.
I watch everything Frank posts.
I'm supportive.
Did you watch that last night or this morning?
This morning.
He posted at like 4 a.m.
3.30 in the morning.
He just sat by his dishwasher.
Good for him, though.
Good for him.
I'm really proud of him.
It was his first time using a dishwasher.
He was live tweeting every household task he was about to do.
Yeah.
His washing machine has Wi-Fi.
He wants to know if he can. Yeah. So that's interesting. I don't even know what that means., his washing machine has Wi-Fi. He wants to know if he can...
Yeah, so that's interesting.
I don't even know what that means.
Why do washing machines have Wi-Fi?
What's the functionality of that?
I think maybe you can like...
Do it from your phone, I guess.
Do it from your car or something?
Yeah.
He'll have Bixby doing his delicates.
Oh, there comes Copper again.
They are on the march.
Oh, he changed his hat.
Oh, he just took his hat off.
He's in the presence of a woman.
I like to think some of the other guys, he changed his hat. Oh, he just took his hat off. He's in the presence of a woman.
I like to think some of the other guys, like he borrowed the hat from one of the other guys.
They're like, yeah, what's going to happen?
Pulled into a radio show for it.
They're pissed.
If you come into Barstool, just wear a goofy hat.
Wear a funny hat.
Wear something that differentiates you from your group.
I'd argue there's a 50% chance of getting hired if you wear a zany hat.
I think the percentage might be higher than that.
No, because if you go too far, there was the kid in the cow costume two years ago.
That was tough.
I don't remember the kid in the cow costume.
He came in in full cow garb.
Okay.
And he knew as soon as he walked in the door because everybody was just walking by him not giving a fuck.
That was a mistake.
You could see the mistake written on his face.
But best case scenario, what does cow costume get you? Because if you get hired, you you almost have to wear the costume you have to be the cow guy every single day right you at least
have to have cow facts you have to have cow stuff yeah you got to come up with a backup yeah or more
information i don't know steve j are you still basking in the glory of you owning uh ryan whitney
on twitter yesterday? Yes.
I feel more powerful.
You have a mouthful of high society right now, don't you?
Alright.
Let's call out your alter ego.
His alter ego?
You know what I'm talking about.
Clit?
Steve?
SK?
What did you forget?
Steve Clit's fucked eight women.
What's up, little pussies?
And he's talking to literal little pussies.
He's shouting out to all the little pussies out there.
Yeah, you got to say your name.
Steve Klitz.
It's been too long.
It's been too long.
Brandon, what's going on with you?
I've got to leave and do The Dozen in a couple minutes.
The Dozen days are just, they're not a drag because I do enjoy doing it,
but it does weigh me down.
Like, oh, fuck, I've got to stop and go play The Dozen.
But it's a lot more for Jeff DeLo because there's no podcast equipment around
or there's no rooms available.
He's going to have to just sit at his desk in the middle of the office and do the dozen.
Well, we have 75 podcasts.
We do.
Do we literally have 75?
We have at least 75, I think.
And then we actually have two podcast rooms and a PMT studio.
KFC has his own studio.
So we have two rooms and this room for the 75 but they used to do it
with just one room yeah but it didn't have we didn't have 75 no but it was still it was like
30 for one room right it was it was a lot so this is still more there's yeah okay yeah there's still
more how's the uh scrapes on the arm? I am going to live through the experience.
Also, you dodged a bullet yesterday.
I had recruited Nick for the rundown.
It was going to be me, Nick, and Smitty.
And he was going to be on the rundown.
And it turns out we had just an argument breakdown on the rundown.
It was Whitney against Taylor Swift, which is –
I love when people debate things.
The dumbest thing.
They care so much.
It's such a dumb thing.
I can't imagine a dumber debate, but I'm entrenched now, and I can't get unentrenched.
I don't think I'm passionate about one thing to get into a debate like that.
Is there no debate?
No.
What about...
No, you're wrong.
What?
If somebody here fancied themselves a Pokemon expert, and they were espousing facts that
you objectively disagree with, you would vehemently disagree with them. I wouldn't get angry. I think you would. I've seen you momentarily get angry at a Pokemon expert and they were espousing facts that you objectively disagree with, you would vehemently disagree with them. I wouldn't get
angry. I think you would. I've seen you
momentarily get angry at Pokemon. No, I don't
think there is a thing that I love
enough. Unless it's about
me, then I'm not going to debate.
So there's nothing
in the universe
you enjoy enough. I enjoyed the phenomenon that was
going on yesterday. Right. Because no
one is more vocal and outspoken than the Taylor Swift fans.
Right.
But a lot of them are like the white, woke, scold Swifties with BLM bios,
and they were probably bursting and boiling.
Well, that's the girls.
The guys like them for pussy.
Right.
Or at least the...
Yeah.
Why?
Why?
It's a brand new shape.
No.
That's the first of its kind. You can name the shape. I don't know what it's a brand new shape no that's the first of its kind to name
the shape i don't know what it's doing today that's why are you doing that's a brandon it
has like nine sides and it's kind of 3d it's two and a half d i don't know i don't know when it
gets long i need a haircut when it gets long it just does whatever it wants i don't give a
you should just grow it out this is grown out no but like but like long. I can't. It won't take shape like that.
It will just do this taller.
That would be awesome. You'd look like Johnny
Bravo. I think I'm getting close.
Was he a rapist? Probably.
Okay. Yeah. Was he? I think so.
A lot of cartoon rapists
out there. Pepe Le Pew. Yeah.
He's the biggest one. Yeah, I guess I did wear a shirt
with him very large on it. And it was hard
to find.
The little pew merch.
They're taking it off the shelves.
Is he good and canceled?
Pepe?
Yeah.
Pepe?
But when they re-air old Looney Tunes,
and it's one of those hours where it's just a bunch of Looney Tunes back to back, does Pepe sneak in there?
I think they have to censor it.
I think he sneaks in there.
They're not going to show any insertion.
I think he still...
Well, I don't think there was ever insertion, was there?
Yes.
He never, first of all, that's not even a skunk.
That's a cat.
You wouldn't like a mixed race relationship.
You would hate that.
That's not even the same species.
I thought it was progressive.
No, that cat accidentally walked under white paint or something and got white paint on her.
How did the cat always get, that was multiple times it happened to the cat, was it not?
I don't know.
Was it always white paint?
I think it was always white paint.
It was always the same cat, too.
Actually, there's some weird shit going on with Pepe and this cat.
Did the cat have a name?
I don't think the cat had a name.
What did he call it?
Cherie?
What did he call it?
Or he called it a lot of things, I guess.
I'm not that familiar with Pepe's catalog.
Who's your favorite Looney Tune?
Foghorn?
I'm a big Foghorn guy, and I'm a big Wile coyote guy you like wiley coyote i well i liked him you know what i like his his cartoons more
or is when he's ralph and sam and he's with the sheepdog as opposed to the roadrunner because
they torment each other and not just yeah it was fair yeah one tormenting the other but he didn't
have that many of those also like uh I like Falkhorn and Whitehorn.
Kyle, you weren't allowed to watch Looney Tunes.
No.
It was violent.
No.
Your mom was very protective.
Cartoon Network.
Looney Tunes was on Cartoon Network.
Yeah, no, I couldn't.
Whatever.
You had to turn it off when Looney Tunes came on?
I didn't want to watch it anyway.
What did you want to watch?
Nickelodeon.
No, I couldn't watch magic
or i couldn't watch power rangers so i had to watch magic school bus that's that's the substitute
for it for some reason it was and maybe they were on at the same time my my youngest is big into
power rangers right now and it's it's one of those i can watch a lot of their things without
secondhand embarrassment i can't watch power it. I never got into it.
Neither did I.
Well, I wasn't allowed to, but it just didn't appeal to me.
It was after my time, so I can't even relate to it.
It was uncanny.
I've been to it for a bit.
It had a pretty sick guitar riff theme song.
That, yeah.
The show as a whole is objectively very bad.
What is that noise?
That sounds like a shop vac.
Like a sander of some sort.
Maybe so.
They're fucking up the third floor.
They've been really fucking around up there.
They're adding more podcast studios up there, I think.
Really?
Conference rooms.
Conference rooms?
Not podcast studios?
We need more podcast studios.
Pretty sure they're not podcast studios.
Because we're already kind of tapped with conference rooms.
I think we had enough conference rooms.
Yeah, we have plenty of conference rooms.
We had four conference rooms up there.
You know how many people sit up there?
Yeah, but we have a big problem here of people taking conference rooms
that don't need to be taking conference rooms.
Just sit at your desk like a normal person.
If you're going to be playing solitaire or whatever you're doing,
you don't have to take a conference room.
There are people in there that are just having fun.
It's their own little personal office.
Bigger rooms with more than two seats.
No, I...
That was very condescending.
That was remarkably...
You're not understanding what conference rooms are.
We were talking about the side private rooms.
I'm not. I'm talking about those little smaller
conference rooms up there where you walk by and there's just one guy
and they're working.
Again, conference rooms are rooms with multiple
You don't think you can have a two-man conference?
Up there, this hallway
is littered with one-person rooms
but over there where you sit, there's two
smaller conference rooms that fit about six to eight people
and there will be, where we have
the massages. Remember the massages?
You bragged about getting a massage every day?
Are you saying massage?
Massages. Yes, I am saying massage. You can't make a soft G. Massage. It's a massage every day? Are you saying massage? Massages. Massages. Yes, I am saying massage.
You can't make a soft G.
Massage.
It's a massage.
Okay.
What is it, Kyle?
You are pronouncing it as if there was a D before the G.
No, the G-E.
Massage.
M-E-S-S-A-D-G-E.
Is there a difference in D-G-E and G-E?
Massage.
No.
Massage.
What are you trying to say?
Massage. You're saying it like there are you trying to say? Massage.
You're saying it like there's a Z and a J behind it.
Massage.
Massage.
You got to just ease into massage.
Say general.
General.
Pretend like you're in the process of giving someone a massage and say it in that cadence.
Massage.
I'm going to give you a massage.
No.
Massage.
I'm going to give you a massage. Giving a massage. I'm going to give you a massage.
Giving a girl a massage isn't going to work at all.
Sit down.
Catch a charge.
Sit down.
I'm going to give you a massage.
You're still doing it.
So the girl would refuse my massage?
Oh, yeah.
It just bothered me.
You sound like you're a misogynist.
Yeah, misogynist.
Massage.
Yeah.
Did I do it better?
Massage. Massage. Okay. Does that do it better? Massage.
Massage.
Okay.
Come here.
I want to give you a massage.
Hey, man.
You ruined it again.
I did.
My bad.
Come here.
Come here.
Let me rub you.
Sit your ass down.
Hell yeah.
I'm going to trade out with him.
Hell yeah.
Oh, no.
Brandon's leaving.
How we doing?
He has to go.
Doesn't.
How we doing, kid?
How are things always scheduled?
Yeah, how?
One to two.
It's one to two every fucking day.
No, no, no.
I'm not talking about you.
Oh, okay.
I was going to say, because I actually have a realistic excuse today.
All right.
Do tell.
What was it?
Well, I have three interviews this afternoon, and Tuesdays are one of the only times I can
go home and see my kid, so I try to get done early, and the math didn't work out.
And also I'll throw in the fact that my brain is leaking out of my ears,
and I forgot my password to my computer again,
so I had to have Pete change it.
It took like 20 minutes.
Shit.
Yeah, I got locked out of my own computer again.
I think everybody has the same password here at the start, right?
Do all of our computers have the same password?
Yeah.
Oh, no.
Yes.
So I apologize to the LAC listeners.
I'm here for the rest of the show.
You missed an all-time character.
Oh, shit.
Kyle Copper.
Chris Copper.
Chris Copper.
Chris Copper.
Oops.
He's not a cowboy or a ranch, and he's a cattle guy.
He's a cattle guy.
Okay.
And he's in the Army.
At the tail end of his career.
But he's an Army lifer. He has stories to tell. He never got to a story. Yeah,. And he's in the Army. At the tail end of his career. But he's an Army lifer.
He has stories to tell.
He never got to a story.
He was saving that for the pod.
Love it.
I actually had a question for Kyle that I've been a bad friend because I didn't ask how you're doing.
What do you mean?
I think that you and your namesake are on trial right now.
Kyle Rittenhouse is the most Kyle ever.
It's basically the fate of all Kyles.
I don't know which way you actually want it to go.
We were more like self-harming violence.
Yeah, but this is the evolution of Kyles.
As you drink a monster.
Like it's basically Kyle Rittenhouse is like,
I'm going to just grab a gun and go fuck shit up. I'm Kyle. Yeah, yeah. Like, it's basically Kyle Rittenhouse who's like, I'm going to just grab a gun
and go fuck shit up.
I'm Kyle.
Yeah, he's Kyle.
So this is your...
Things are just getting juicy, my friend.
We're just getting into Rittenhouse.
All right, just give me your thoughts
and then you can head out.
So are you nervous, though?
Because this is...
I really do think that the stake of all Kyles
is on trial.
Yeah, I mean, I'm KB.
You are KB.
Kyles have had a bad run
and there's been a bad few Knicks.
Nicholas Cruz.
Oh.
Not a great one.
A lot of people don't know
that's his name or...
Yeah, a lot of people
just don't know his name.
A school shooter?
Oh.
V.
Yeah.
Oh.
I don't think there's been a lot of Dans that have...
Dan Hitler.
Shit.
Dan Mussolini.
God damn it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's brutal.
Stevens.
Are there bad Stevens?
I think Dans are just like...
They're just kind of...
There's definitely...
Dans are...
Yeah. We're just over. It's over. It's over for Dans.'re just kind of Dan's are Yeah
We're just over
It's over
It's over for Dan's
It's over
It's been over for us
Is there any bad Dan's?
It's been over for us
For a long time
I think we're just
We're just gonna age out
As middle aged
Soft dick losers
TJ what's the T for?
I'm being honest
Like have you ever met
A threatening Dan?
Timothy
Have you ever met a Dan
You're like ooh I think that's more Of a masculine name Dan? I'm not saying. Have you ever met a threatening Dan? Have you ever met a Dan?
I think that's more of a masculine name.
Dan?
I'm not saying it's not masculine.
It was masculine, but it's starting to lose.
If you had a lifespan of a name, I think Dan's are in the 48, three kids, a little bit underwater in his mortgage, part of his lifespan.
I think we're due for a Dan renaissance.
Dan used to be cool in like the 90s.
Yeah, that was the peak of Dan.
Right, that was his 20s.
Dan's were fucking awesome.
But I think we're going to get some boy Dannys coming up.
Oh, Danny's tough.
Were you ever Danny? I was never Danny.
Do you think there was any grandparents named Kyle?
Ooh, yes, definitely. Like 35 think there was any grandparents named Kyle? Ooh, yes, definitely.
Yeah, like 35-year-old grandparents named Kyle.
Right?
35?
Yeah, like 15, 15.
There were no Kyles killed in World War I?
Yeah, we did talk about that.
Yeah, your 15-year-old had a kid.
You had a kid at 15, and your kid had a kid,
so you're a 30-year-old Kyle grandfather.
There's no way that's happened more than once, ever.
What is the youngest grandparent out there?
I did research.
It's in the 20s, I think.
Whoa.
Damn.
That actually, like, it's kind of cool if you're a younger grandparent.
Kyle.
Oh, no.
See?
And that's right. You can the point yep in kenosha kyle's went downhill what was peak kyle what year
94 oh kyle what year were you born three oh
a little past yeah what are there any bad stevens
yeah search bad stevens bad stevens bad steven steven you've been flying off the handle on twitter
what did he do i'm unchained he is truly unchained
oh they auto-corrected.
Steven Fox.
Fuck this guy.
Cosmetic dentist.
Why don't you be a dentist for people with bad teeth, not fucking people trying to get shit.
What were you going to say?
The Route 40.
Sorry.
The Route 40 killer.
Was it Steven?
Steven Pennell.
Probably with a B-H, though. All all right fuck these stevens i'm not i'm
out on steven why are you unchained right now well we have two stevens in the booth do we not oh yeah
we have a dual steven booth what stanko is your first name steve
that was a miss i'm happy you went there. His first name is...
It's just Stanko.
No, it's...
He's like Cher or Oprah.
Chris Stanko.
No?
Steven just...
Steven said a C in the air.
Steven said a C and he said Chris.
So no one knows Stanko's first name.
Do you have a first name?
Nobody knows. No one guessed it. No one guessed itanko's first name. Do you have a first name? No one guessed it.
No one guessed it.
We will get it.
We will eventually get it.
Are there any bad people with your name?
It's so funny that Steven was like so fucking confident.
Yeah, he laughed at me.
See, it's Chris.
Chris Stanko.
I know it.
Stanko and I texted or DM'd
before he was even hired here
are there any A-listers with your name
yes
Brad
you're going off
that alone
you think that's enough of a hint
I don't think the A-list is that big
I think Nick is right
if you asked A-lister
I think the three names that immediately pop in your head are George Clooney, Leo, and Brad.
George Clooney does immediately pop in, but why?
Because I think he's the longest A-lister.
There's so many others, though.
I don't think there's that many A-listers.
I think we're too liberal giving out A-lists.
I agree with you.
I think A-lists should be about 20 people.
I would say Chris Evans.
Sure.
Chris Pratt.
But it's not Chris.
Chris Pratt doesn't like his disabled kid, though.
Bradley Cooper.
Yeah, sure.
Ben Affleck.
Matt Damon.
Yes.
Orlando Bloom.
No.
He's out of the A-list, man.
Oh, is your name Ben?
Is your name Matt?
Adam.
For driver? Sandler. Oh. Owen? is your name Matt Adam for driver
Sandler
Owen
you think Owen Wilson's an A-lister
yes
you do
Jason
okay
I could debate this passionately
I was wrong
the A-list should be slim
I just said Jason
and Steven said longer
Jason
Jason
Jason with like three Ns.
Jason-son.
Jason-son Stanko.
Jake?
John?
Jonathan.
There it is.
Jonathan Stanko.
John Stanko.
That's like the most common man name.
Who's the A-list?
Jonathan Stamos?
Who's your A-list John?
Yeah, who's your A-list John?
Wait, wait, wait.
John Stewart?
Who's your A-list John?
John Candy?
I think of Jonathan Rhys-Myers.
Okay, that's...
What?
No.
No.
Yeah.
Throwing it back.
All-time famous.
No.
Two-time Golden Globe winner.
Illegal.
Two-time Golden Globe winner.
Ever heard of it?
What even are the Golden Globes?
Wait, I don't know who that man is.
Jonathan what?
Rhys-Myers. Pull him up. Wait, I don't know who that man is. Jonathan what? Reese Meyer.
Pull him up.
Wait, is that the little kid from Jerry Maguire?
No, that's Jonathan Lipnicki.
There we go.
He's more of an A-lister than your guy.
Wait, you thought this guy was an A-lister?
And it's not even like Reese.
It's like Reese.
Wait, so when someone says, hey, what's your name?
And you're like, Jonathan, like Jonathan Rhys-Myers.
That's your point of reference?
I've never seen this face in my entire life.
Who is this guy?
Who the fuck is this guy?
But nobody calls me by my first name ever.
But who is this person?
And I don't think anybody.
In what?
No one has ever described someone as a two-time Golden Globe winner.
Jonathan Rhys-Meyers.
Are you related to him?
Because there's no way.
Like, I don't even think.
If you met Jonathan Rhys-Meyers' mom, he'd be like, yeah, my son, he's still chasing this dream of being an actor.
So when we were saying George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp.
Johnny Depp.
Johnny Depp.
John Stamos.
Not an A-lister, but way more well-known than Jonathan Rhys-Myers.
The A-list is Johnny Depp, George Clooney, Brad Pitt.
I don't even know if Johnny Depp's in there anymore.
Leonardo DiCaprio, Ben Mintz.
And that's probably the five.
Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift.
Taylor Swift.
Oh, Brendan really put the office in a blender with that one.
He actually is a genius.
He's like, what can I pick that's very subjective?
Music.
Sure.
And then what can I compare that has no comparison, no reason to be compared other than the fact
that they're both women taylor swift
and whitney houston they're both singers and then throw it out there and watch the world
collapse upon i don't i think that is something that you can definitely compare i they're so
different though like whitney houston is she was nicknamed the voice who's better at music
but that's subjective yeah and that's a debate. Okay.
I just thought that Taylor Swift and Whitney, like I never thought Taylor Swift's coming
for Whitney Houston's throne.
I thought it was like who has more stardom, famous reach.
I think it was who's better.
Who's better?
Which is like.
What's better?
Who's better?
Yeah.
Who has more Super Bowl wins?
Whitney Houston or Taylor Swift? To draw. Who has a Super Bowl wins? Whitney Houston or Taylor Swift?
To draw.
Who has a better hit list?
Who was Houston fucking?
Bobby Brown.
Bobby Brown.
Taylor Swift has an all-time hit list.
That's how you get into the A-list.
You have to fuck Taylor.
I don't remember what newspaper it was,
but it was an all-time headline when Bobby Brown died
and said Bobby Brown beats Whitney Houston to death.
Because he died before her.
Damn.
Okay.
You get it now?
Welcome to the party.
Jake Gyllenhaal.
A-list.
A-list.
Taylor Swift made him an A-lister.
Right.
Which I don't...
No way.
That is as far as I know my knowledge of what's going on right now with Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal.
But she's re-releasing her old music.
Which is awesome.
It's an awesome move.
It's re-recording.
She's re-recording it because now she can own it.
So she found a loophole...
Oh, that is awesome.
...in the entire record industry that if she re-records her music, she owns it 100%.
That's awesome.
That's badass. That's badass.
But people are going crazy.
Can you discern the differences?
Are there major differences?
When I leave Barstool I'm going to re-record every
single part of my take word for word.
Oh my god. Dan's version.
Wait, Stanko,
are you a big Swift guy?
You were nodding your head.
Swift boat? Major Taylor Swift head? You were nodding your head. You Swift boat?
Major Taylor Swift head.
John Kerry, original Swifty.
Another Jonathan is Jonathan Goff, by the way, from Hamilton.
No, no, no.
I don't think you know who famous people are. You're going the wrong direction.
Mind Hunter.
A Netflix original.
Yeah.
David Lynch.
But yeah, I'm a huge Taylor Swift guy.
Taylor's version.
I don't... I'm a huge Taylor Swift guy. Taylor's version. I don't...
I'm familiar with Taylor Swift.
I'm not...
I'm not really at all.
I haven't really dove in.
How tall do we think Taylor Swift...
I feel like she's tall.
She's 5'11".
6'8".
She'd be taller than most starting centers in college basketball.
In a pickup basketball game, if KB's Gardner, is she immediately posting up?
Yes.
And dominating.
Taylor Swift posterizing.
Have you ever seen Taylor Swift's Euro step in transition?
I haven't.
It's fucking insane.
5'11", wow.
Tico with the new hair.
Tico with the new hair.
Purple braids.
Oh, she was here the whole time.
Didn't realize.
Hiding in plain sight.
What are you going to do? What are you in plain sight. What are you going to do?
What are you going to do?
What are you going to do about it?
What's up, boys?
This feels good.
Feels really good.
We're all equally spaced apart.
This is nice.
I don't think there's been the three of us.
When has there ever been the three of us?
Has there ever been the three of us?
Because we were talking about 7-5.
Okay, yeah, 7-5.
We were talking about it in uh in the car the other day the
beauty to me of the yak is that any combination of us now is still a great show and we were just
breaking it down i think the only combination that wouldn't work was like brendan and sass
solo that would work right like uh that would work for like a vine yeah but this i don't
think we've ever done the three of us i don't think we've ever i think we did once maybe once
over like deep deep in covid maybe interesting it's very interesting we need someone to make a
chart that would be a visualization of the yak combos and how much each one is like appeared.
Yeah, that would be really cool.
You could just do YouTube era or you could maybe do COVID era.
Yeah.
No, you could do it all.
Do it all.
Can you do them all?
It would be hilarious if you did it all.
But how would you do it all?
I don't know.
Those are gone forever.
Yeah, I don't think so.
You could probably start right before COVID. It have to start with youtube got it damn someone do that please that'll
be a cool chart looking at the payoff will definitely be worth the work worth the work
i will retweet it so there you go and i want to know what the most uncommon yeah the uncommon
yeah this might be it. This probably is it.
Well, no.
There's so many combinations.
There's seven people.
I don't know.
Is that like seven times six?
Well, also the most uncommon is when you guys are split up and like when Sass and Rowan are split up.
Right.
Because you guys are usually in tandem.
So like me, you, Sass.
Yeah, me, you, Owen.
Yeah.
Someone do that, please.
Spend, waste a whole entire day.
No, I think there was
A me you and Owen once
Yeah there might have been
I didn't see you guys
Since we went to
Pittsburgh
For the Bears Steelers game
We're huge in Pittsburgh
I did see you guys yesterday
We're huge in Pittsburgh
I always wanted to
Did you have fun
I had a lot of fun
Did you booze up
In the parking lot
I did booze up
I had five beers
In the parking lot
It shares a parking lot with a casino.
Is that where you peed?
I was peeing in that casino.
No, I got...
So I got...
Brandon stole my hat yesterday, and he thought it would be funny to put it up there.
I was given luxury peeing where the guy whose tailgate it was, which was a strip club.
It seemed like a nice place.
He opened up his car door so I could pee behind it.
That's very nice.
Very nice.
That is very nice.
Peeing outside is the best luxury.
The best.
I love peeing in the ocean.
It feels better, though.
I'm afraid of having my hole open underwater.
It makes it into a two-way street.
Well, there's the indiru fish native to the Amazon,
but God knows what these fish are capable of doing, where they're capable of going.
Thank you.
Che pisses without knowledge of the Indiru fish.
They swim up the urethra and they latch on with like a hook.
They have a hook that latches.
They can go up, but they can't be pulled back.
And they feed on your penis from the inside out.
You don't take your trunks off.
They can swim up the pants.
How tight are your trunks?
Your trunks?
Yeah.
What do you call them?
Bathing suit?
I call it a bathing suit.
Whatever.
No, but they can swim up the leg.
But they could do that if you're not peeing too.
No, but when you're pissing, they're drawn to the warmth and your urethra is more open.
Yes.
Okay.
Fair.
I see your point.
Either way, my point was Pittsburgh loves us and I always wanted to convey whenever I go somewhere
and people are like, the yak, the yak, the yak.
Did you ask anyone where in these United States?
There was a few people who made that reference.
Yes.
Yes, absolutely.
A few people made that reference.
Let's go to Pittsburgh this weekend.
You want to just go to the Berg?
Yeah.
I do love Pittsburgh.
I'm only going if TJ comes.
I like looking at it.
Looking at Pittsburgh is actually,
it is one of the best cities in the world
to look at aerial pictures.
It has the great entrance through the tunnel.
The Golden Triangle.
Is that what it's called?
I don't know.
The Fertile Crescent.
Oh.
No, I have no idea.
I think it's called the Golden Triangle, no?
Could very well be.
I've never heard that shit.
There's also something about a city that's like, there's a nostalgia factor where it's like,
there was a time and place that Pittsburgh was like, that was it.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like when you go to Detroit, you're like, man.
Things to do in Pittsburgh this weekend, Daughtry.
We got it.
That's the most Pittsburgh thing.
Golden Triangle is a Pittsburgh thing.
Okay, yeah.
So it's like.
It's a region, yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's something about those cities.
Like you go to like Detroit and you're like, there was a moment in time where Detroit was it.
Yeah.
It was it.
Like that was the fucking place.
That was the pinnacle of civilization at one point.
Yeah, that was the place.
It's kind of cool.
China.
Yeah.
Took all the jobs.
They took all of them.
Don't even get me fucking started.
Oh, Biden.
Man, that guy pisses me off.
He had a Zoom call with the president of China yesterday.
Did he really?
It was all fucking smiles too.
Oh, Jesus Christ. Can't believe he fell for that was all fucking smiles, too. Oh, Jesus Christ.
Can't believe you fell for that one.
Probably a big NBA fan, I guess.
Yeah, must be.
Spameless.
We just started doing five minutes of politics talk every year.
We actually should.
We should all have one topic we bring to the table.
Just unload whatever's going on.
That we get from a newspaper.
Yeah.
Fucking hate these. everyone whoa so that was not an intentional sound no someone dropped something big and a piece
came off how's that monster the politics thing could help i am potentially the least politically
aware person i am as well in the country I am as well. In the country.
I am as well.
Yeah?
I have very, very little knowledge of what's going on day to day.
By design.
Yeah, that's good.
Yeah.
What's a change for you?
I'm a white male.
I'm going to be good no matter what, right, guys?
Privilege. That was my privilege showing my bad.
Check it.
Check it at the door. Yeah, politics cam. So was my privilege showing. My bad. Check it. Check it at the door.
Yeah, politics cam.
So, hmm.
Politics, politics, politics.
What is the...
Oh.
I don't think I've ever proved a hater wrong.
I've never once proved a hater wrong.
Because I've never had a hater tell me that.
Privilege cam spelled incorrectly.
No, he's allowed to have that privilege.
TJ graduating from college with no ability to spell privilege.
Oh, man.
We should check our privilege at the door.
Like Notre Dame.
Touching the sign.
We should have like a cubby where we just put our privilege in.
We check it at the door
We check our privilege at the door
There's a privilege free zone
You've never changed a hater's mind you said?
I never proved a hater wrong
There was one
It's not a testament to my lack of skill
There was one guy
This past week
I'm stuck in like
You know on Twitter when you get stuck
In like these long arguments
that people are having where they had tagged you in the original tweet oh yeah i'm stuck in a ton
of those for last from dave's thing i am too yeah there was one guy though there's a guy on the yak
that's been going on for days really like the wisconsin football yes that guy that guy that guy
he is he won't stop he won't stop. He won't stop.
And I won't give him the satisfaction of blogging.
Let's give him some type of satisfaction.
But there was one guy who actually, I was in one of these threads, and after Dave explained
everything, he actually changed his mind.
I was like, wow.
Whoa.
That's incredible. That's never happened.
Yeah, that's never happened.
Yeah.
He's like, I take back what I said.
I don't think that Dave is all these things. I was like, damn. I don't think I've ever changed a happened. Yeah. He's like, I take back what I said. I don't think that Dave is all these things.
I was like, damn.
I don't think I've ever changed a mind.
No.
Oh, man.
Yeah, like, even, like, what do you want for dinner?
Oh, why don't we do this?
I'm really craving tacos.
Well, maybe we can eat one.
Let's get pasta, yeah.
I've never changed a mind.
No one has ever, like, went out of their way to tell me I wouldn't be able to, like, to
do a specific accomplishment.
Like a teacher?
To achieve something. Yeah. everybody always has a teacher people just like fetishize like even like a like someone will like break a deadlift max and then like shout out to my critics
who said I could never do that yeah right right all the people who was actively telling you you
couldn't do a very specific thing or maybe they meant at that like certain point in time you
couldn't do it in that case they were maybe they meant at that certain point in time you couldn't do it. In that case, they were correct.
Right.
But there's definitely, you're absolutely right.
People who do like a 40-inch box jump.
It's like everyone doubted me.
Like, who?
Who?
Yeah, I think it was like 2008
when people started really fetishizing having haters.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That is a fetish.
Big Cat hasn't heard the Frank Burp yet.
Oh, no.
Do I want to hear the Frank Burp?
You do badly.
By the way, before we play the Frank Burp,
I got a quick update about the case race,
SAS's case race.
I was contacted by a future Hall of Famer,
former NFLer, who would like to participate,
so we got to figure out maybe if he participates.
Position?
Center.
Oh, Kevin Mawai.
No, it's Nick Mangold.
Mangold.
He's a big fan of the guy.
Yeah.
And it would be funny if we did a Mangold cam in the corner and see just how many beers he can drink himself.
That would be incredible.
Yeah.
So maybe we'll do that.
He'll be an added bonus.
He might. Just based on what I know, He'll be an added bonus. He might.
I don't.
I just based on what I know, he might be the best drinker in in America.
Maybe that's what we do.
Maybe it's a case race.
But the case race, the clock of the case race is Nick Mangold drinking 30 beers.
Do you remember?
Yeah, I would like that.
We have.
Yeah.
He is just he's a human clock.
It's human timekeeper. I love I love it. Yeah. What are you is just a, he's a human clock. Human timekeeper.
I love it.
Yeah.
What were you going to say?
And he's a fun guy to be around.
He is.
Do you remember, I love how like we always defend Barstool.
Like it's not like, we're not a frat.
Like look at us.
Like look at the guys we have here.
Yeah, yeah.
But then over quarantine we had that huge debate who could drink the most.
Yes.
Or when Dana Beers, when everyone was raising money
for different foundations
and Dana Beers did a beer pong tournament
for nothing.
There was a beer pong tournament.
Let's have a beer pong tournament.
It was like, what are we doing it for?
Just to see who's the best at beer pong.
Who's the best at beer pong.
And it ended with to be continued.
He ended a tournament on a cliffhanger.
All right. Oh.
All right.
Oh.
What were they going to do?
Someone said they... Let's see.
Oh, yeah.
It's really good.
Look at that.
It's shining.
It's shining.
Oh, my God. All right. I'll let them cool down and dry shining. Oh, my God.
All right, I'll let them cool down and dry overnight.
Oh, God.
All right, Dick.
I'm really proud of him.
There's this video.
That was almost a puke video.
Yeah, it was almost.
Burps are worse than puke.
Someone sent us the best puke video of all time.
They're climbing.
Oh, Nick and I are actually going to do that video series.
And we're calling it just the yak as well.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah for sure you
can be part of it you don't but you don't like puke videos i do you like videos what the hell
all right then you can be part of it it's gonna be a once we're gonna we're gonna probably tape
them all at the same time one day we gotta bring a bunch of wardrobes yes we'll have to do ward
why don't we just switch clothes yeah we'll switch clothes back and forth. How many different combinations?
It's going to be us reviewing.
I think we have a ranking system.
Yeah, but we need a scale.
We need a scale.
Maybe it's a zero or a one.
It's a binary ranking. It's a binary ranking of if they puke or not.
Yeah, if they puke.
That's a one.
We give it a one.
That's a one we give it a one that's a one yeah and then we'll just yeah and we're gonna just
watch puke videos and put it up on the yak youtube and uh and that's it i want everybody
to span the comments like that was a one yeah oh hell yeah yeah it's a good one
oh is that what that is i had a bunch of dudes i mean i mean he says it's the best of all time
i had a bunch of dudes sending me their homemade puke videos.
Not a link from anywhere, not an Instagram post, but filming themselves.
This one kid put his whole fucking hand in his mouth.
I love it.
I want a shout out to that guy.
Yeah, he was awesome.
We'll do a listener submitted.
Okay, no.
I want people to start sending them in in real time so they have to do something to show that they're doing it live.
Yes.
Now.
Jerry, sit down.
What's up, pal?
How's it going?
We're just yakking it up.
Jersey Jerry?
Did we do the ad already?
No.
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What's up Jer
I'm congested
Oh no
You're congested
Yeah I got a sinus infection
What happened
I don't know
I don't know how
I've been using the
The diffusers
At the house
It's not working
What are the diffusers
Oh the spray
Oil diffusers?
Yeah.
A little bit of eucalyptus?
Why don't you just get the spray?
What, the nose spray?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's addicting.
Afrin.
It is.
Very addicting.
You ever try boiling Fabuloso?
No.
Does that actually work?
The cleaner?
Oh, gee.
A fragrance.
Are you sick?
Yeah, it sounds like a sinus infection.
I'm not sick.
I got negative COVID tests. So what's this? How do you get a sinus? There's other diseases it sounds like a sinus infection. I'm not sick. I got negative COVID tests.
So what's this?
How do you get a sinus?
There's other diseases.
What's a sinus infection?
I got pain behind my eyes and my head.
A lot of pain.
Pressure.
Yep, there you go.
That's the word, pressure.
Don't get on a flight.
No.
Eyeball pop out.
Yeah, I've had that before.
Yeah, I remember when that happened to you.
Your eyeball popped out.
Yeah, my eyeball popped out.
That sucked.
This one's a glass eye. I've been looking before. Yeah, I remember when that happened to you. Your eyeball popped out. Yeah, my eyeball popped out. That sucked. This one's a glass eye.
I've been looking up remedies and stuff,
and one of them was to grind up coffee beans
and rub them all over your face.
Do it.
I don't know.
I might try the Fabuloso, though.
Post a picture with ground-up coffee all over your face.
That'd be good.
What about dunk?
I've heard if you dunk your head upside down in the toilet.
No, you didn't hear that.
Yeah, you do.
You get the water up your nose.
And you have to flush.
You have to flush.
Yeah, you have to flush.
It's a gravitational.
Well, try it.
Oh, puke cam.
Here we go.
Have you ever tried a neti pot?
What's that?
It's like you put it in one nostril and it comes out the other.
Comes out the other, yeah.
Yeah, you got to put distilled water in it.
It's good.
You have to really stay calm.
You're kind of waterboarding yourself.
Yeah.
It's worth trying.
That's very nerve wracking.
There's Tico.
I don't know how you chug those beers.
Is that Tico's twin brother?
I think that's what she's been saying.
Oh, there's a straw in there?
Yeah, so it's like the air comes out the straw.
No way.
Oh, the straw's not in your mouth?
No, the straw's pointing out so that the air can flow.
It's like the hole on the bottom of a recorder.
Wait, so why doesn't beer flow out of the straw?
Science.
What?
This is...
I didn't know that.
What do you guys got going on the rest of the day?
There's too much lead up.
Yeah.
Can you just play like a puke compilation?
Oh, a puke compilation would be fun.
Got an email from Tico saying, hey, you're on the second or third episode of the Tico 10.
I guess that's at 2 o'clock.
You are?
Yeah.
She didn't say, would you like to be?
She said, you are.
I like that.
Her booking methods are bold.
It's a good method.
I don't know what it's about.
I don't know nothing.
I think she had a couple rappers on.
I don't really know much about rap.
I mean, I don't know how...
What's your favorite music?
Who's your favorite artist?
Artist?
I like Neil Young. Ooh,? Artist? I like Neil Young.
Ooh.
Okay.
Good one.
I like Neil Young.
I always wanted to go.
My dream was to always go to a concert, but I never got the chance.
Wait, he's still alive.
It's working.
He doesn't tour no more.
Big Cats, you're going to buy him tickets.
Yeah.
I've always wanted to go.
He doesn't tour no more
He finally has
What if we got him
To come and tour
What if we got him
For a private show
I don't know
If he'll do that
I'm sure he would
Neil Young
Hey hey my my
Rock and roll
I'll never die
That's a good one
I like Neil Young
For dead
You know who I like
Better to burn out
I like Coldplay a lot Oh Coldplay's good Coldplay gets ripped I like Coldplay I love Coldplay a lot.
Oh, Coldplay's good.
Coldplay gets ripped.
I like Coldplay.
I love Coldplay.
I like old Coldplay.
They're good.
People who rip on Coldplay can suck a fat one.
I like Coldplay.
What is it about popular culture where we just decide a certain band,
just like, that's lame.
It's a hive mind.
It's crazy.
Mob mentality.
It's crazy. It's mob mentality. It's crazy.
They make hits.
Dog piling.
Sometimes it's fun to listen to songs that are a little cheesy.
Who cares?
Do you like Coldplay, Nick?
I like Coldplay.
They're good, right?
Strawberry Swing.
I got my first handjob to Strawberry Swing.
That song came out in 2019.
That's right.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Your first handjob?
Oh, yeah.
You remember the song and everything?
Oh yeah.
How fast did you come?
Before the first chorus.
I don't think I've ever gotten a handjob.
It was actually to the stop motion music video.
You want us?
Period.
You've never gotten a handjob?
You've never gotten a rub and tug?
No.
That's a lie.
That pause.
I never had a massage place.
Think about if you've ever gotten a rub.
No, I've never been to a massage parlor like that.
No, she just liked me.
You've been to a rub.
No, I haven't.
I've never been to one of those massage places.
Come on, you've done it.
I've never done that.
You get a little rub, you get a little tug.
No.
It's both.
Yeah.
I don't really ever think I got it.
Have you ever been just to a rub?
Yeah.
And you've come.
Yeah, you're really missing. Have you ever been just to a rub? Yeah. You're really missing.
Have you ever
come just to a rub? Would you rather go to a rub or a tug?
Ooh.
Hmm.
The tug would be nice, but the rub is nice
to lead up to the tug. I thought,
damn, this is a rub or tug. Yeah. Damn it.
Shit.
He's trying to say something.
Kyle?
no Stephen Stephen has not been to a rub and tug
I have not
one of my great regrets
you count that as a regret?
again
that's one of your great regrets
similar to Neil Young being alive
you can still go to one
I mean
is that cheating?
I think it's cheating
I don't know
I don't know
I wouldn't want my girl going to like a massage parlor and getting finger blasted? I think it's cheating. I don't know. I don't know.
I wouldn't want my girl going to a massage parlor and getting finger blasted.
But I think that... It's way different.
No, but I think...
Is it different?
I think that's in the gray area.
I think that's legally in a gray area.
I feel like anything where another person of the same gender as your partner touching your bare dick to the point of explosion.
What if it was a guy? What? of explosion. What if it was a guy?
Explosion. What if it was a guy
at the rub and tug? I guess that's a fair point.
I should amend my statement.
Anybody, if you're in a relationship,
especially marriage,
somebody's blasting your dick tall.
Blasting?
He's being Steve Clit right now.
Steve doesn't know what happens in a rub and tug.
Are the massages good?
No
Don't give me the maloik
Alright then I guess I regret it a little bit less
It would be awesome if it was like a really good massage
And then
But
I don't
What?
I'd rather
I mean I'd rather get a really good massage
Than a really good hand job
Oh yeah no no
Agreed
Absolutely
A really good massage Absolutely Without really good hand job. Yeah, no, no. Agreed. Absolutely. A really good massage,
absolutely. Without
doubt. Yes. You're being quiet.
You'd rather get the tug.
No, I would never want that.
Me either. I don't know how you could love
cumming that much where you would put yourself
in that position and the cumming
outweighs the discomfort.
Imagine the clarity
as soon as it happens.
You know what I'm saying.
I guess.
I mean, yeah, I guess.
I think you're thinking about it too much.
What's the discomfort? The awkwardness of the...
Yes, a stranger tugging you?
It's a business.
That is so uncomfortable.
I want her to like me.
Again, I think you're just thinking about it too much.
What do you mean?
Like, you just go in, you get rubbed and tugged.
It's not that easy.
Yeah, it is.
I haven't done it in a very long time, but maybe we just...
Well, you guys are saying it's not in the gray area, so maybe I shouldn't do it.
Yeah, it's not in the gray area.
All right, so then I'm out.
I'm out as well, Steven.
I have done it, but it's been a very very long time you have done okay i'm now in i
am now we're tired from it and i have been retired for a very long time i heard there's a place near
madison square garden that also requires a password which seems really cool it adds what i would think
in my mind to the experience yeah we could set that up here, dude.
Password for a tug? Yeah.
We should all do, like, we should all have safety words.
Reverse safety words.
Reverse safety words.
Where if you say the word, you immediately get jerked off.
It's like Pee Wee's Playhouse.
Yeah.
If you say that word, guess what?
You get jerked off by the person closest to you.
All right, Jerry, you start first.
That's my word.
First was my word.
First?
Yeah.
Jerry's word is Steelers.
Steelers, yeah.
Is Big Ben going to be back?
No, he might be back this week.
He has to pass two tests.
Now, Minka has.
Minka's going to be out Sunday, yeah.
Oh, wow.
So Minka's on Vax, then. If he Oh, wow. So Minka's unvaxxed, then?
If he's out that long, yes.
I don't know.
I would think Big Ben, too, maybe.
No, Big Ben is fully vaxxed.
Fully vaxxed.
He's a complicated man.
Oh, yeah, that's one of the best videos we've ever done.
Oh, that was incredible.
Pull that up big screen.
The fact that...
I think maybe the reason why I like puking so much
is I can never make myself puke on command like this.
Oh.
Are you wearing a Stephen Barry's jersey?
Yeah, we went to...
Yeah, that's good.
Where are you guys?
We're in Indianapolis in the town center.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Oh, man.
What is this?
Oh, this was the Indy 500.
Oh, okay.
I remember that Indy 500.
I was walking around the sea lot
the coke lot and there was a dude
it was like 3 in the afternoon
everyone was blackout drunk and there was a dude just walking around
with like a Rambo knife
and I was like that can't be fucking
he was doing shotguns with it
like a bowie knife
a huge fucking knife and he was opening people's beards
I was like this is
this is gonna be bad
that's a scene though if you're under the age of knife and he was opening people's beards i was like this is this is gonna be bad yeah
that's a that's a scene though if you're under the age of 26 i would very much recommend
going and camping out for uh the indie 500 with a group of friends very fun time oh yeah it was
my favorite experience you go three years in a row yeah
i would just do the the concert in the middle the snake pit yeah yeah it was insane you're
a snake pit guy you love being in the snake pit people were just it was like a war it was like
it looked like you were on a battlefield people were just getting carried out stretchers left
and right heat strokes overdoses isn't that what you wanted to call your podcast? The Snake Pit?
The Snake Pit,
but it was taken.
It was taken.
No, that's what you wanted
to call your apartment.
The Snake Pit.
Yeah, yeah.
Imagine if you named
your apartment
The Snake Pit.
Hey, welcome to The Snake Pit.
Take off your shoes, please.
That is a good...
I need to name
my fucking apartment.
Don't name your...
I hate when college kids would name their house
and make a Twitter account for it.
They would quote the quirky things their roommates said.
We should do that as adults.
Now it would be funny for you if we started doing it now.
What did you do this weekend?
I went over to the snake pit.
What's a snake pit?
It's KB's apartment.
I just chilled in the snake pit.
It was pretty low-key.
You live by yourself?
Yeah. KB? Well, you're never by yourself in the snake pit. It was pretty low-key. You live by yourself? Yeah.
KB?
Well, you're never by yourself in the snake pit.
That's the first rule.
You're never alone.
What would your name be?
What would your name be yours, Nick?
What would your apartment be?
I think I'd want it to be some sort of grotto.
Ooh.
Or maybe a cove, a poison cove.
Mmm, poison cove.
I like that.
I think I'm going to go with the chalet.
What should I choose?
The Brooklyn chalet.
What about you, Steven?
What would you name your house?
What would I name my house?
Yeah.
Now, let's ask Steve Klitt what you'd name your house.
The G-Spot.
The War Room.
It's the first time I've ever seen it.
I think I saw the light bulb above your head when that happened.
My basketball court is going to be named KB's Boneyard.
Oh, yeah.
That could also be your apartment, KB's Boneyard.
Why that?
It was some bet.
You were going to have to construct the hoop, right?
Yeah.
Well, we watched and did a live show, which we should still do.
Can we paint a center court logo?
Please?
You can paint the key.
Yeah, sure.
Steven, can we please get you treading water again sometime this winter?
If any stoolies are around the Madison Square Garden area
and have a pool in their building, please DM.
The bathhouse we go to has an Olympic-sized pool.
Seriously?
Yeah.
Can we rent it out?
Probably.
What's the depth?
Probably six feet.
Okay.
Anything slightly deeper than six feet would be,
just because I would be able to stand.
Hardly stand Hardly
Hardly, yeah
But I want to do a live show from it
I want a live show
Like an audience
Not even an audience
I'm just saying I want to live
Do a live yak
And in the background it's just Stephen Chase slightly drowning
How deep do dunk tanks go?
Can we just have you in a dunk tank?
No, you stand in a dunk tank Because you fall in and then you stand up.
Yeah, also he needs a little bit of space to move around.
Let's dig a hole.
I would dig a hole.
I like digging a hole.
We got a hole digger right here.
We do.
You got a body?
Jerry's got a hole.
I don't know.
I still like digging a hole.
There's something about digging a hole that's very like,
it's just you start and then there's an end.
Yeah.
It's just very nice.
But there doesn't have to be.
That's the magic of it.
That's true.
You can go forever.
But I don't know.
There's something about, I said to Jerry,
I think he's feeling a little restless sometimes with this job.
When you just have a pile of bricks that he moves back and forth.
We should open up a bar where you can dig holes.
It's the best.
You ever dig a hole at the beach and all of the other fellas join in?
There's a natural camaraderie and you just keep digging.
A hole bar would be awesome.
A hole bar.
Yeah.
You could just drink in your hole.
Yeah. I like it. If you get to a certain depth. A hole bar. Yeah. You could just drink in your hole. Yeah.
I like it.
If you get to a certain depth.
You get a free beer.
Yeah, you get a free beer.
I like that.
I want to see Mark Madden, that Pittsburgh sports writer, just stuck in a hole.
He's one of my top people I want to see stuck in a hole.
Yeah.
Upside down?
No.
Almost like a hole in a wall where front half, back half,
and he's kicking and...
Ah, I like that.
Did you hear the funny voice?
Mm-hmm.
It's not gravelly.
It's gravelly.
He just likes to argue with people.
He's mad all the time.
I want them to be like
one of those hamster water bottles,
but it's just slightly too high,
so he has to really stay on his tippy-toe.
Oh, yeah.
He also loves,
he's obsessed with
telling everyone
that they don't get paid enough.
Yeah.
He's like,
Barstool doesn't pay you.
Has he spoke out
about Barstool before?
Yeah.
He's got into fights
with I think maybe
Rear Admiral.
I don't know.
Being like,
you guys don't get
paid shit there.
What?
What do you know?
I want to prank him.
Yeah, we should prank him.
We should call him up.
All right, we got anything else?
So.
Oh.
I got a text.
I won't say from who.
New son of a boy dad out today.
Be sure to watch that and listen.
Five stars.
Oh, love it.
Also got a text just now that we have to get our minds together
because the collab that we talked about is possibly going to start soon.
The BD with the Yak.
Yeah, the Yak collection.
So we've got to have a meeting.
We'll set up a meeting.
Oh, my God.
So we've got to set up a meeting Oh Oh my god So we gotta set up a meeting
Those are gonna be
They're gonna fly off the shelves
I saw a throwback the other day
It was called
Barkney Spears
We saw that
What was that a parody of?
It was actually Jewel
Oh yeah yeah
Jewel
Alright
See everyone tomorrow
Good show
Yeah I just got that text That's really fucking That was really alright see you everyone tomorrow good show yeah
I just got that text
that's really fucking
that was good
yeah
it's the act
it's the act
it's the act
it's the act
it's the act
it's the act 10X. Thanks.