The Yak - The Boys are Making a Concrete Beach | The Yak 6-27-24
Episode Date: June 27, 2024Susan B*tch AnthonyYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Yo, DJ, pull that up.
Oh, hello.
It's the Yak.
Roback.com, R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com, promo code Yak.
20% off the first purchase.
Cues this.
Polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts.
I'm wearing the joggers right now.
Roback.com, promo code Yak.
What the fuck is this?
Yeah.
Oh, the logo.
Yeah, the logo.
Yeah. What is this this that's the tough baby
tough welcome to the tough yeah i missed a show yesterday i was battling in a severe hangover
why i've retired i don't nah you're a rock star bro oh i retired you're on the retired i announced
my retirement i don't believe that you caught a second wind if anything no no no honest to god you've never looked better
i announced my great yeah you're having fun listen being funny if i i announced my retirement are
you content first i don't think so can you hear me out you ain't i announced my retirement from
drinking games and i made it very clear the case race is not a drinking game.
That's just dudes. Oh, yeah.
Rock it.
All right, then fair.
So I've left myself open for that.
But in terms of competing in drinking games,
you got to know when you're washed up.
And I'm washed up.
People being like, oh, I can't believe you puked.
Dude, I'm 39 years old, and I can't. I drank like 15 beers on whatever day it was in the hot sun,
and then I ate four tacos and smoked some weed with Waka Flocka,
and then I puked.
And then you got butt fucked by Tata.
And then I got butt fucked.
There's that part.
He really, yeah.
He got really rammed.
He got sodomized. Yeah, he did. He got inc fucks. There's that part. He really, yeah. He got bottom. He really rammed you. He got sodomized.
Yeah, he did.
He got incognito.
Did you clown anyone's belly button?
No, I don't think I did.
Should have.
Did anyone have too much or too little armpit?
Oh, my God.
Yeah, I got butt fucks.
I knew going in, I was like, I'm going to get beat up in the pool.
Try not to get beat up in the pool. And then within like two hours, I was gettinged up. I knew going in, I was like, I'm going to get beat up in the pool. Try not to get beat up in the pool.
And then within like two hours, I was getting beat up in the pool.
How fast do we get to that point?
Pretty quickly.
Because the whole beer games, the three beer chug to start the beer games is just a match on like a big pool of lighter fluid.
Because you're just like, oh, we're going to have fun.
And they're like, all right, here,
drink these three beers in eight seconds.
Three?
Did you think you were an alpha before going into that?
No.
Okay.
I went in, like I go into any competition,
and it's also why I like to gamble.
I went in being like,
what if I just have the best day of my life
and me and pft take this
whole thing down you got to and then within as soon as i finished my chug and i looked to pft
and he was still like a minute and a half away from finishing his chug i was like i don't think
today's our day but the getting ragdolled video was all worth it yeah he did get right we all got
right yeah yeah i the only the only thing i did correctly was i made best friends with michael I think getting ragdolled video was all worth it. Yeah, he did get ragdolled. We all got ragdolled. Yeah, yeah.
The only thing I did correctly was I made best friends with Michael Chandler right off the rip.
Okay, good.
That's smart.
And he was saying some profound shit to me.
He was like, dude, when you speak, people listen.
I was like, really?
And I was just like, thank God I made friends with him.
That's kind of an understatement.
I turned around and he was just armbarring people. Yeah. And I was like, that God I made friends with him. It's kind of an understatement. I turned around and he was just armbarring people.
And I was like, that was a good move by me.
But I forgot about Taylor and Will and their pent-up rage.
Was there a Titus or a Deutsch of this competition?
Wow, high praise, Titus.
Yeah, that's crazy.
To be in the same breath as Deutsch.
I'd want to say Will, but Will was so out on his feet that I don't know.
I don't think so.
Will left the planet for a while.
The only...
Can you say the drunkest?
Will.
He left the planet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was fun, though.
I mean, I wanted to go home so badly at like around four o'clock. But all in all, being with the boys, doing random things.
Did you dance?
I did dance a little.
Did you hold your nose and do the scuba dive?
I did the bare butts in the water.
I don't think you can show that on YouTube.
I saw the tweet.
The way you – did people see hole?
I breach.
Yeah, you breach.
Yeah. But like the way your legs are bent and? I breach. Yeah, you breach. Yeah.
But like the way your legs are bent and your ass is up, they saw a hole.
Yeah.
It's an old school trick.
Everyone thinks you're going to do a handstand and then you just breach with your bare ass.
The hole is visible?
It was kind of visible.
It's got to be.
A little visible of hole?
Yeah.
It would have been awesome if you farted like a whale.
Oh.
A whale that's farted. You're right're right i'm gonna do that next time yeah a little bit yeah what's happening to your mic
whale spray going out of your butthole all in all is a fun time the beer games themselves were fun the the competitions were very interestingly stacked in that you played flip cup which is a
very straightforward game like everyone knows the rules everything else you played beer pong
straightforward game everyone got blackout drunk and then the final game was a game called beer
ball that is essentially just yelling at refs yeah and
everything's a judgment call so everyone's blacked out there were refs yeah but it was like the the
beer ball is you throw the so there's a beer can on each side 2v2 you throw a ping pong ball if
your ping pong ball hits their beer can you can drink your beer until they grab the ping pong ball and put it back
on the table so you can do the math that basically like oh we put the ping pong ball back on the
table you kept on drinking this is illegal can't dent the beer can't there's all these rules so
yeah and then i i actually when i got knocked out i put on a ref jersey and then taylor almost
kicked my ass again.
Because I was just trying to hand out technicals and he was very upset.
When that many dudes are roughhousing, is anyone roughhousing Michael Chandler?
No. Or is he the only one doing the roughhousing?
No.
No one has the balls?
No.
No one has the balls.
Yeah.
And there were some big ass dudes.
I saw some meaty guys.
And they're young too.
They're like 25.'s like we were playing
against like 23 year olds that's crazy and they were like 300 pounds freak athletes jesus was
anyone overly serious about the competition taylor was a little serious i also so the the
preceding part of the me getting my ass kicked about taylor was i just told the entire place
that he was drinking fake beer.
And everyone kept on coming up to him being like, dude, you're drinking fake beer?
And then he got very upset at me.
But I deserve that.
I had that rumor going.
I was literally like, tell everyone they're drinking fake beer.
Did you say like dead ass?
What do you mean?
Yeah, like did you try to pick up on lingo and like spit it right back?
Like that dead ass that was Elbow?
No, I don't think so
I heard you told Waka that you were going to keep it a bean with him
I did
Waka's a cool dude
Huge
He's so tall, yeah
Yeah
David Bakhtiari also, my MVP
Very cool dude
Might have made a mistake.
Yeah.
When you called, do you remember calling in to the Yak?
Yeah, that wasn't a mistake, though.
Oh.
Oh.
David Bakhtiari and I made a deal, drunkenly, that he would FaceTime Aaron Rodgers to try
to get him back on the show, which we successfully did.
Oh.
Wow. on the show, which we successfully did. Oh, wow. But my part of the deal was I would FaceTime Ryan Poles,
the GM of the Bears, and try to get David Bakhtiari on the Bears.
I've never FaceTimed Ryan Poles.
Wait, so first off, he did FaceTime Aaron Rodgers,
and Aaron Rodgers accepted?
Yes.
Yeah, you have to.
Ryan Poles did not pick up and has also not responded to my text apologizing.
Oh, you're in debt.
Oh, boy.
That's over.
I think that's it.
That's a wrap.
I think that's it.
Brutal to wake up and be like, wait, did I FaceTime Ryan Poles?
Yes, I did.
You drunk FaceTimed an NFL GM.
Yes, yes.
I can't even imagine that feeling.
Trying to get the drunk guy next to me signed.
Signed, yeah.
That's crazy.
I bet you there's levels to this shit.
Saying that out loud makes it even worse.
The anxiety's been off the charts.
I bet he appreciated, but that's just something he can't answer.
But he also has not responded to my text apology.
Oh, never mind.
Tough.
You should emphasize that text.
No, I think it's best that he didn't pick up,
just because you're like,
I got somebody here that he's ready to go.
He's ready to go.
He's ready to go.
And it's just a drunk man.
It's also tampering at that point.
No, he's not.
He's a free agent.
Oh, is he?
Okay.
Big mistake.
I'm going to want that one back.
Unless he signs with the Bears.
What if it had worked?
Again, back to the beginning where I was like,
what if I just win this whole thing?
That is part of my brain that is malfunctioned.
That would have been one of the more legendary moments of your life
had it worked.
Did you explain in your apology,
or were you just like, sorry for the call?
I said, I apologize for FaceTiming you.
We were very drunk. I know that I should have FaceTiming you. We were very drunk.
I know that I should have done that.
Sorry.
I don't know that you should have done that.
We'll try again maybe in a couple days.
Like, hey, did you see that time?
He's probably just working.
He's probably just working hard.
He's probably like on a family vacation.
Saw that.
What the fuck?
He'll get to it.
And if everything works out with the Bears, as it should,
he's going to be there for a long, long time.
You developed rapport with him already.
I had great rapport.
Completely over.
That was immature and pathetic.
I guess if it gets to Zarin Rogers, I can be like,
and justify the means.
Are you older or younger than him?
I think we're about the same age okay I don't Rogers
had an all-time I I hate that
I have liked him now that he's on the
Jets but he had an all-time
dickhead Rogers answer because I texted
him like three weeks ago we're going to Tahoe
after July 4th that celebrity
golf thing doing a bunch of interviews
and he's playing in it I texted him I was like hey do you want
to come back on the pod just didn't respond for three weeks then back to your face time and
i was like hey why don't you want to come back on the pod and he's just like i never said i wouldn't
i was like yeah you just didn't respond yeah but he's he's got that yeah so yeah i'm dealing with
some scaries today uh yesterday but we'll get through it that's why i'm retired
for now okay yeah okay but i'm always on retire yeah yeah that's the thing like ryan pulls i think
that's what i have to tell him is like hey listen what happened on tuesday won't happen again because
i've retired yeah you don't have to worry about that right i'm sure you have a lot of high profile
phone numbers in your phone and it's taken this long for you to drunk facetime that's true that's
a good point yeah huge. Huge win. Actually,
credit to me. Yeah. Credit to you.
Alright, so what did I miss? I missed you guys.
I missed this fucking
monstrosity. Yeah. It's a doozy.
What is this? It was in the original design.
I was on the wheel yesterday. We
created it. Why? Who did
this? Fasoli. Was it
Fasoli? Yeah.
I don't know. don't it was just
here I just showed up
one day I knew about it
so that happened we I
approve this yep when on
Tuesday a month ago oh
that would've been funny
if you told me a month
ago I said yes yeah I
said are you cool with
them putting a Barstool
logo in the studio they
want to have more Barstool
branding on on camera and you said yeah sure that does sound like something
oh uh you also missed we want a rotisserie in here oh yeah we're making chickens done for chicken
yeah done we have a chicken roast done yeah that's about it we watched a car we watched a car chase
oh yeah she got out she escaped she got she got away She's free. I cannot believe that.
She went under a bridge and failed.
You know why I think she escaped?
It's because no one was fucking following her at all.
At all.
Except the helicopter that ran out of gas.
That's probably why she got away.
They could have gotten her a hundred times.
So many chances, civilly and safely, taking her down.
I saw you guys were car chasing, and I got very jealous of that.
Yeah.
That's always fun.
That was great.
The entire continental U.S. joined together over a common enemy.
Who?
Intern Jacob.
What happened?
We posted on Instagram that he finished the map, which I think looks phenomenal,
and every comment, mean, mean, mean.
That map looks great.
That's as good as a man can do with tape.
Look at Missouri and Kentucky.
Who is pissed?
Everybody in the United States.
Oh, where's the E.P.
You did West Virginia dirty.
Yeah, look, it's crazy.
That's better than, like, the standard state's puzzle.
Well, he said not to scale.
Every state has been done dirty.
What the fuck you do to me?
Why is the tape tacked?
He pissed about Minnesota.
Oh, he doesn't stick.
Delaware, just give up.
Did he do one state that's just perfect?
Where's the eastern shore of Virginia?
That's right there.
Crying, laughing.
Fuck the eastern shore of Virginia.
Nope, that is the most inconsequential,
insignificant plot of land in the world.
Eastern shore of where? What's even there? Virginia. Princess Anne? Newport News? insignificant plot of land in the world. Eastern Shore.
What's even there?
Virginia.
Princess Anne?
Newport News?
No.
That's...
The Delaware disrespect hurts.
Wait, where...
Delaware's right there.
It's fine.
Oh, I'm starting to see...
He really botched...
Northwest Ohio is definitely
not a 90-degree angle. Wait, it's tape. He really botched northwest ohio is definitely not a 90 degree angle wait it's tape
he really botched new jersey and pennsylvania though pennsylvania's a little too small he took
away pennsylvania's water rights oh my god he did he completely landlocked him well no that's a lake
right up on the yeah that is a lake yeah yeah the del Delaware, New Jersey, Pennsylvania area is the worst.
How do you do that?
That's very tough to do.
Yeah.
He did great on New England up in Massachusetts.
But still, there are a lot of people that have never put a map together
with tape commenting on the ability of Jacob.
I think he did a great job.
I think we've got to just focus on Iowa and Nebraska.
I think he did a really good job there.
Those are his best?
Yeah.
Those are top teams. I think Illinois and wisconsin's pretty good yeah missouri yeah he did a good job middle he was great yeah i can uh i learned how to name all
them now no way no no no did you yes i missed one so i still know the name show us new orleans
louisiana I still know the name. Show us New Orleans. Louisiana.
Particularly where the city of New Orleans is, though.
Oh, I don't know that.
That's way too much. That's what he wanted.
It's right next to Texas.
Hey, did you get funked up?
No.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah, I sure did.
You look good.
I went Tuesday.
Funk did a hell of a job.
And I was telling you before the show, Funk told me that Uncle Doug is still texting him.
So I was worried.
Is he still texting you?
I'm texting him.
You're not texting Uncle Doug.
I've texted him.
Yeah, so Uncle Doug's still texting around with everybody.
Good.
Yeah, I went to Funk Tuesday.
The shop is amazing, immaculate, perfect.
I love Funk so much.
Yeah, you look good.
I was worried when we came out here I wouldn't find a haircutist, and he's been perfect. He found amazing. Immaculate. Perfect. I love Funk so much. Yeah, you look good. I was worried when we came out here
I wouldn't find a haircutist and he's
been perfect. He found you. He found me.
He's a godsend. He's got you
judged. Yeah, Funk's great.
Titus, happy birthday
by the way. Oh, thanks man. How old are you now?
37. Damn.
Nick, happy birthday. I was thinking about retiring.
It's not my birthday. No, it's not his birthday.
Sorry.
His birthday is tomorrow, the one year anniversary of him at thinking about retiring. On my birthday. No, it's not his birthday. Sorry. It's not his birthday.
His birthday is tomorrow, the one-year anniversary of him at Barstool.
That's right.
Big day.
We hire everyone on their birthday.
That's how you do it here.
Uh-huh.
Wait.
It got close to me.
I was three days.
Three days before your birthday?
I got hired on the 10th.
My birthday was 13th.
Wow.
I got hired on my birthday.
Whoa.
January 9th, 2021. You were just being honest.
I was being honest do you see that the all three of the point guards on yes the spurs no it was mavericks
in 2015 have the same exact birthday same day what that was crazy jj barea is my favorite thing i've
ever seen darren williams and who it was i don't know the name. It was June 26, 1984.
And they were the only players in the NBA with that birthday.
And they all three played on the same team at the same time.
Same position.
Holy shit.
That's fun.
How do they not win a title?
That's day drinking fun.
That is.
That really is.
What a fact that is.
Who's the other guy?
Dude, I don't know the name.
I don't either.
I saw it yesterday.
It was JJ Perea, Darren Williams. i just embraced the fact 2015 yeah will this draft be the worst uh calderon
i don't know devin harris raymond felton will this draft and it was felton will this draft
be the toughest questions ever and doesn't his yeah oh my god yes that's all i can some of them
dudes you could ask me who the number one pick is
right now and I'd only know his name. French.
Zachary. French.
Oh, I was going to say Alex Sacher.
Who was the first pick? Sacher.
A French dude? Sacher.
John Rich had a great tweet that summed up the draft
when he just had the video of them
and he's like, this is the first time I've ever watched a draft
where I confidently can beat up a bunch of these guys.
Yeah. They look kind of like pussies yeah they they they started the
i could beat up some of these guys yeah was that grime the they started the draft who is that
oh that's young ma alex sar in the back do you see he he looks like caitlin looks like caitlin
clark cj stroud there's jared mccain uh he gets drafted and they immediately just show his tiktok Alex Saar in the back. Do you see? He looks like Caitlin Clark. Looks like Caitlin Clark. CJ Stroud. There's Jared McCain.
He gets drafted, and they immediately just show his TikTok dances.
They kind of did a Disney Channel show.
Isn't he good?
Jared McCain's very good.
I'm pumped the Sixers got him.
You got to welcome him to the Gaberhood.
How many of these guys work in our office?
Take him down.
The guy the Bulls drafted worked out here.
Yep.
Bezalus?
Yeah.
The Lithuanian.
Matas Bezalus.
Yeah.
Klingin worked out here.
Kolik hasn't been drafted yet.
Filipowski.
Filipowski hasn't been yet.
Yeah.
He was here.
Yeah, we had Edie.
Oh, no, Edie never worked out here.
You just talked to Edie.
Edie hates us.
Edie hates you.
Edie hates me. Yeah. Edie probably hates me, too. Oh, he, Edie never worked out here. You just talked to Edie. Edie hates us. Edie hates you. Edie hates me.
Edie probably hates me, too.
Oh, he definitely hates you.
If he's aware of me, he hates me.
I thought the Bulls were going to draft him.
That would have been very funny.
But, yeah, that draft, yeah, that's going to be.
I think the first pick, they were breaking it down,
and he's a 3 and D role player. Yeah, that's tough. The first pick they were bringing it down and he's like he's a 3 and d like role player yeah
that's tough the first pick of the draft i know nobody's ever heard of this guy but rest assured
he is a guy who will be on an nba roster five years probably he will give you 10 to 15 minutes
yeah probably breaking news at home i think tommy might have broke his toe. No. That's a tough injury. What'd he do? He dropped a weight
on it.
I've been accruing a weightlifting gym
that I'm not using.
How's it look?
Who fixed the bench? I thought you said it
collapsed. He might have broke his toe.
That's a rough looking toe.
Yeah. Big Cat, you want to look at his toe?
It's not broken. You don't think it's broken?
Nah.
Bruised.
All right.
Tell him he's fine.
Guess I'll tell him to get back out there.
I have a toe issue.
Maybe we could do it for your birthday.
Do something.
You have an ingrown?
Toe surgery?
Oh.
You want to do it today?
Do we have a giant bottle of Grey Goose?
Can we get Rowan here?
If you take off your shoes and
still have your toenails painted i swear to god that's gotta be an issue that's an issue i don't
i don't they just grew out no i i guess i'll show you guys oh boy oh is this gonna be gross yeah
oh god what oh i don't like yeah oh yeah what's happening there it's on upside down. That's a gag fest. This right here.
You got to get rid of that.
I can lift this off.
Oh.
Yeah, do it.
Do it.
Give me a lift.
Prove it.
I don't want to.
Please lift it.
I started and I was like, this feels like it's going to ruin my week.
It'll ruin your life.
Oh, my.
Can you lift it a little bit?
Top the hood.
From the back.
Oh, no.
Wait, I didn't see.
Oh, he's probably pumped.
Oh, my God.
There it is.
Oh, my God.
How the fuck did you do that?
I don't know if there's nail underneath.
We got to get some clippers.
You got to take the whole thing.
Somebody's got to go to work.
We got to get the clippers.
We have to spin the wheel for who does the work.
We got to get clippers, and we got to do it. Let's do an entire to go to work. We got to get the clippers. We have to spin the wheel for who does the work. We got to get clippers and we got to do it.
Let's do an entire office.
No wheel.
We have done this before, Titus, just so you know.
Entire office.
We have done toe surgery on this show before.
This is not like the last one.
This is old school, yeah.
This is worse.
Oh, my God.
Keep the sock off.
I'm going to cover it up for right now.
Okay.
It's been just.
I don't want to.
I've been just sitting being like, I could take this off, but if I take it off, I don't
know if there's a nail underneath.
Is that how it works?
I hope there's a nail underneath.
Spin the wheel.
Someone's got to take it off.
I'm going to throw up.
I have a thing with toenails.
Really?
Like, rip it off.
Oh, you're not...
I watched the Nick surgery, Like a clip when it happened
And that made me gag
Yeah we did full surgery on Nick's toe
Should we make Jerry do it?
Yeah we could
Why not just make Jerry do it
He loves toes
What if we just made Jerry do it
He fell in love with these toes once
He might hate hurting them
True
We would like fixing them.
Yeah.
All right, let's make Jerry do it.
Jerry!
Jerry's going to have to do it.
Here he comes.
I like that.
Just get right up off the couch.
Here's his name.
Yeah.
He's been called to glory.
I forgot we did toe surgery before.
I need you to find some toe clippers.
Nail clippers? You're going to have to
do some surgery on my toe.
Yeah, you can. You have to.
You have to.
Alright.
That wasn't very hard.
That was easy.
Toe clippers.
I know what I'm saying.
Is it just cut? Sit down.
It's cut. The big toe needs cut.
I mean, if you really want it.
Yeah.
Jerry was at beer games.
He was sober and saw everything.
He said he was miserable.
At first it was cool.
And then it started to get really aggressive.
Really aggressive. Been there, brother. And then that was it. I couldn really aggressive. Really aggressive.
Been there, brother.
And then that was it.
I couldn't do it no more.
Did you make any connections?
Did you network?
No, I actually made a bad connection with Quentin Nelson.
I told him TJ Watt would ruin him.
And then he was mad the rest of the time.
It was a good time, though, I guess.
Taylor's house is, I mean, incredible.
It's pretty insane.
Apple farm, peach farm, bee farm.
Bee farm?
Fishing?
An array of farms?
Farms?
He's got a fishing hole?
Yeah, yeah, like a bass and trout fucking hole that you just fish in.
It's a great pond.
Oh, my God.
Golf cart.
You know what a Kubota is? Golf cart. Like golf cart. He's got a Kubota on his property. It's a great pond. Golf cart. You know what a Kubota is?
Golf cart.
Like golf cart.
He's got a Kubota on his property.
What's a Kubota?
It's a tractor, right?
Yeah, it's like a tractor.
It's a bigger one.
It sounds like a snake.
You can just dig holes with it and stuff.
It's sick.
Wow.
Yeah, it's insane.
All right, I'm going to get a nail clipper delivered.
What's wrong with your toe, though?
You could diagnose it.
We think it's cut.
I need to get the...
The nail has to come off.
Funny she say this.
My two pinky toes are dead.
Oh. I got two dead
nails on my each pinky toe.
I stubbed both of them as a kid.
Okay, so you should do reverse surgeries on each other.
You should like...
Yeah.
Put your feet in the middle and both of you do surgery at the same time.
Like a jersey slot.
Yeah.
Okay, we'll do that.
I think once we get the nail off, we should put a hole in the middle and one of us has to wear it as a necklace.
Ooh, I like that.
I like that a lot.
What happened to the toe, though?
The nail on my big toe is dead.
And it's now like a shield over my toe that I can lift off.
I'm going to need you to lift it off.
You're not going to throw it. It's not that bad, Jer.
All right.
Can you get a sneak peek?
No, let's wait until we'll do the surgery.
What do your dead toes look like?
They just grow like this much every five years.
When was the last time you had to trim it?
Once a year.
Yeah.
Nothing really happens.
I like the idea of it doing that just over one night every five years.
You just wake up, you're like, oh, there's my toe again.
It's toe day.
All right, so I ordered the nail clippers.
We'll do it after the lunch hour.
What's the lunch hour?
Right now, noon.
All right.
So people can finish your lunch.
We'll do it in like 45 minutes.
Deal.
Unless you're in mountain time and then you're going to be just doing it at lunch.
Eat your lunch fast.
Quick.
And NBA draft is coming soon, right?
Three o'clock.
Three o'clock.
Yeah, your guy Brawny.
That's not my guy.
Yeah, it is.
You literally put a future in for USC to win the national championship.
They really did that.
Yeah, he did that.
He's like, Bronny's going to be awesome.
So Jerry's just programmed to say no once or twice,
and then by the third time you say the same thing,
he just gives in every time.
Correct.
All right.
Not fair.
Yeah.
Yeah, we interviewed Joe Burrow yesterday.
He was like, before we went to interview him, I was like,
Jerry, are you going to ask?
Because we were like, Jerry, we'll have you ask a couple questions and he's like you're gonna ask to game with him he's
like I'll never game with a Bengal with an AFC North rival never and then when we got to the
interview he was like do you want to game with me yeah Joe said hello Nick did he yeah shut up
swear to god you told him I said what's up no damn it oh i almost did yeah that's good enough
because i would have taken too much he was doing he was doing body armor shoot all day we were the
last interview we finished and i was about to go take a video of me being like hey i was gonna have
him be like oh nicky clicky set it up and before I could do it someone else asked them
to do like a shout out video yeah and I watched that take place can't do it and I was like no
chance can't do it no chance can't do it can't do it perfectly understandable it's the thought
that counts and I'm starstruck yeah someone was like yeah oh yeah can you just say like this guy
he's a huge LSU fan like can you say hello to him and i was like all right i'm out so i apologize no no next time i'll do it next time do it next time what was he wearing
this is cool shit yeah yeah but was it like effortlessly cool or style did you guys see
him with his backless suit yeah no what yeah i'm a real man tj he wore a backless suit backless
he made it look cool how can a suit be backless?
There is no back.
But how is the rest of it a suit if there is no back?
You know how a dress works.
You clearly don't know fashion.
I know that can work on a dress, but how does it work on a suit?
Guy wore a backless suit.
And he made it look cool.
Maybe he didn't make it look cool.
Yeah. That does not look cool. it look cool. Maybe he didn't make it look cool.
Yeah.
That does not look cool.
That looks cool.
That is.
A ruling.
No, that's not cool.
We can't let Joe Burrow think that's cool.
Nope.
It's cool.
From the front it is.
I mean, look at that.
That's cool. That's just a shirt.
That's a shirt.
That's cool.
Oh, that's cool.
Amazing.
That's not very cool.
Cool.
Amazing.
Cool.
Cool.
He's hot Montana boysana boys cool cool we're being awful forgiving with our cools i think no i think all of them we got a whole joe burrow higher standard
than a backless suit guys brandon backless suit i'm gonna piss me off i almost passed on a what's
up to him i know but had you known there would be a backless suit would you still
have given the what's up almost uh yeah probably uh you definitely you'd never take back an almost
i also don't even think you almost did it because you told big cat i don't think big cat was ever
gonna do it no he was was i was i literally was he said he was and then i got cocked by another
shout out yep you can't be the second guy to be like, hey, real quick, taking out your phone.
It's just bad luck.
When that guy does the shout out,
if you say, no, no, no, stop.
Yeah, you could have stopped.
I got the shout out.
I think it was for a kid with cancer.
All right.
Well, rickets.
Yeah, true.
You do have rickets and gluten.
I have rickets and gluten.
Hey, Joe, could you give a shout out to this kid? He's got rickets and gluten. I have rickets and gluten. Hey, Joe, could you give a shout out to this kid?
He's got rickets and gluten.
He can't drink regular beer.
I thought you said kid.
He's 33.
How old are you turning him off?
32.
32.
Damn.
Brandon, I saw the logo changed.
Huh?
Nah, it's not a big big deal I wouldn't worry about that
so you going third eye blind on your birthday
yeah that's a logo changed
yeah no it's a good logo
we changed it at the case race to put
Titus and Mook on there your shirt is
different
Titus didn't complain about being a little pudgy
yeah I got love handles oh true you do
I want to squish that
yeah
what shirt are you wearing in that Brandon I believe I'm wearing one of my button up ninja turtles Yeah, I got love handles. Oh, true, you do. I want to squish that. Yeah.
What shirt are you wearing in that, Brandon?
I believe I'm wearing one of my button-up Ninja Turtles.
One of my Ninja Turtle shirts.
You're grown.
I'm wearing one of my Ninja Turtle shirts.
Good for you.
Thanks. It's a good-looking logo.
It's kind of...
There's a lot going on. Mm-hmm. Yeah. There's a good-looking logo. It's kind of... There's a lot going on.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
There's a shitload going on.
By the way, Brandon, should we announce what we have?
What is it?
How did I get the call for this?
What?
I'm pretty shocked.
What's coming up next?
What's coming up next?
What were you about to announce?
What were you going to announce what were you gonna
announce i thought you were gonna announce what we were doing after the yak oh no that not that
oh sorry we got the call for something brandon after the 4th of july i gotta see because i'm
going to tahoe so i gotta see when i'm back yeah but after 4th of july within the first two weeks
there will be a to Walker day. Holy shit.
We're going to do a full Tommy Walker day. I'm going to give him so many cigarettes.
Oh, yeah.
We got a face paint for it.
He's turning 14, which is 21.
Yep.
That's true.
I think hard liquor, hookers,
I think it's all on the table.
TJ, put up a poll.
Can 14-year-olds drink?
If it's unanimous, he'll black out.
TJ might not be the best guy to ask this.
Why is that?
He's got a poster of Dr. Disrespect in his house.
Is that true?
That's not true.
He has a fat head of Dr. Disrespect.
That's not true.
I asked him about that.
I asked him about Dr. Disrespect the other day, and he feigned ignorance.
He was like, what?
He was like, you mean Guy Beam?
TJ, I saw Nick Mertz and Tim the Tapman do some very awkward videos disavowing.
Where was yours?
I'm out on the entire streaming industry.
Oh, interesting.
But you did, at one point, model your entire life after Dr. Disrespect.
Did I?
Oh, yeah.
You used to game with glasses on with the background. Yep.
Oh my god, TJ. He's your idol.
He is.
I've never messaged him a minor inappropriately. Teetering on
inappropriate. It was only teetering on inappropriate, TJ.
It was a whisper.
TJ?
TJ?
You never loved Dr. Disrespect?
I used to like Dr. Disrespect.
I think you, TJ, I think you got to do a selfie video right now.
With his shirt off.
Sorry, honey.
Not now.
That's insane.
Pull him up, TJ.
I want you to model your, I think you need to do it.
TJ, otherwise people are going to think that you still are a fan of the guy.
Well, what if he is?
He could be.
He might be.
That might be what he's covering up right now.
Yo, yo.
Checking in.
Yo, yo.
I'm seeing everything on Twitter, and I read through Doc's tweet.
And in that very tweet, he basically confirms that, you know,
he was texting an underage girl, and it went weird sometimes, you know. And, look, just to be blunt and straightforward, man, that's inexcusable.
It's unacceptable, right?
Why is he doing hot cuts?
He's doing supers.
I can't support it.
Hang on, honey.
I can't support it.
I can't defend it.
Look, the boys and I are torn up over it too, man,
because we played a lot of games with the guy.
It was a little weird, but what can you do?
So I just wanted to update you guys on
my thoughts and how i'm feeling he didn't say anything oh hope you guys have a good day all
right he didn't say a goddamn thing he just fucking showed us his traps yeah huge
and then he just bragged that he had a chick yeah not now honey
tj i think you need to do the same okay I mean you don't have to
but then people will assume TJ just keep it vague TJ every streamer TJ you know that did you see
the Asmongold thing the guy with the filthy room there's this popular streamer who's never cleaned his room and he's starting to get sick.
Wait, what?
Yeah.
I want to see this.
His room is disgusting.
I want to see this.
But he's defending it.
He's just like,
it wasn't a crime.
And he went...
Fuck.
God, fuck.
He's a multi-millionaire.
He's like a big World of Warcraft streamer, right?
Look at that.
This is turning him ill?
Yeah, he said it was debuffing him.
He got nerfed? Yeah. He said his room was starting to debuff him he doesn't understand the point of having to clean
his room uh he's the most balding man with very long hair he was defending uh dr disrespect and
went to his likes tab to show a tweet, like, defending it. And his most recent like was the most curvaceous, scantily clad, probably fake woman I've ever seen.
Oh, I saw this.
And he played it off so well.
But he didn't realize that was going to be on there.
No.
Oh, man.
TJ, do you remember that?
He's so funny.
So this guy has millions of dollars and he lives in that kind of squalor.
Millions and millions.
He's like one of, TJ, give me the background.
What's he like the part owner of um fuck what's it i don't know i'm
like super checked out on stream he's out on the whole stream he's out on stream he saw this coming
he got out it's ms kiff's who's also got canceled jesus i'm starting to think dr disrespect messaging
tj all all streamers get canceled.
Every streamer gets canceled.
I saw Rossi just disavowed homophobia.
Nice.
Which is huge.
That is huge.
Y'all can hate me if you want.
OTK is the name of the company.
Yeah, he has a ton of money.
Here's the clip.
Bad thing to tweet out, but that's really about it.
Let me see.
I can pull up and let me see if i
can find it no what the fuck was that um i saw he plays it off so well i was like play dough not
that we play that again that's really about it pause on uh let me see i can pull up and let me
see if i can find it let me see where the fuck was it i saw him he just clicked on something else
real quick oh man that's great turns out these guys are not good at apologies yeah at all
disavowing gamers are creeps man oh dr disrespect yeah the 49ers had to release a statement yeah saying we're
not gonna associate with him anymore uh he was in he was in yeah he's in nba 2k 24 took him out
right they took him out but you can still play as a lot of bad guys in that one.
Yeah, can you play as, like, former jazz players?
You sure can.
And their stats are high.
It's a damn good choice.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
Tough day to be a gamer.
Couldn't be me.
TJ.
TJ. TJ.
I told you, I'm not that gamer anymore.
You being fans of gamers has only gotten you into trouble.
True.
True.
Very true.
Oh, man.
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I will be there.
Very excited.
I think I'm going to.
Yeah.
I think I'm going to be there.
Are you going with me?
Yeah, let's go.
Let's do it.
I put my name on the list, yeah.
Fuck yes.
I think that means I'm going.
I'm excited.
Hopefully it doesn't rain.
Last year it rained. Yeah, yeah. Fuck yes. I think that means I'm going. I'm excited. Hopefully it doesn't rain. Last year it rained.
Yeah, that's not fun.
Rain's not very fun for most things, really.
What is an activity that rain?
You're like, fuck yeah, it's raining.
Jumping in puddles?
Outside.
That's a post-rain thing.
You're like, I hope, boy, we have this picnic planned for Saturday.
God, I hope it rains.
Hangovers.
Winning a girl back and making out.
Hangovers is great.
Hangovers is great rain.
Bucket challenge.
Backyard football.
Collecting water challenge.
Yeah, any collecting water challenge.
Yeah, your crops, of course.
Your yard.
You need some water.
There's nothing better, though, than waking up with a severe hangover and having
it still be like dark out.
It's just going to rain today.
It's always dark and raining.
Yeah.
You don't have to feel guilty about not
doing anything. No one else is doing
anything either.
That's a great feeling. Shutting down for the day.
Yeah. Shut it down.
What's your hangover movie?
Tremors? Mine's Tremors. Your every movie down for the day yeah so now shut it down what's your hangover movie tremors mine's tremors
your every movie is trim i love tremors tremors is your hangover yeah it's mine is that one with brendan frazier when he's really fat monkey bone yep oh yeah was the whale good i haven't seen the whale i heard it was just cry porn no oh well
well so who knows uh it's good all porn is cuck porn to the viewer hey what's up what's up lucas
lucas is learning on the job look how grizzled he looks yeah yeah what's going on with that, Lucas? You're just trying to be like...
You look like you...
About to settle out west.
Yeah, you look like you're about to join a chopper gang.
Yeah, I'm not.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, just to make that clear.
Oh, okay, good job.
Glad we cleared that up.
That was a great input.
What are you doing today?
You're just sitting and observing?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm trying to make sure I've got it down.
What are some observations you've made?
This show sucks?
No.
No, the moving cameras is a lot more complicated than someone might think.
I mean, I knew it was, but it's just.
Do you think you're going to be able to handle it?
Yeah, should you do a test run right now?
Yeah, do a test run.
TJ, go ahead and take the rest of the day off.
Yeah, let's challenge.
Okay, let him do a test run.
All right, so we all have to...
See you, Teej.
Yeah.
Okay, here we go.
This is going to be tomorrow, Lucas.
Wait, TJ, do you actually stay?
Because he fucks up.
He's gone.
Who said that?
Me, Nick talking.
Over here. Hey! No,. Me and Nick talking over here.
I was the one talking, Luke.
I think me and Nick had a good point.
We had a good conversation going over here.
Titus, where are you going?
Oh, okay, nice.
Shoot a half-quarter.
I'm going to hit the kitchen real quick.
Okay.
Oh, he made it.
Oh.
Oh, he did actually make it. Nice shot.
Replay.
That sucks.
Do we have the replay?
Fire that back up, Lucas.
Lucas.
Lucas.
Lucas, run that back.
You're stuck.
Lucas.
Just Kyle and Big Cat Lucas.
Hey, Lucas is sprinting in the neck again.
Where are you going, Kyle?
Oh, there he goes.
Yeah, T.J.
Oh, my God.
He's running a cartwheel.
That was amazing. That was insane. Oh, my God. He's doing a cartwheel. That was amazing.
Oh, my God.
I've never seen Kyle do a cartwheel.
He's never done a cartwheel.
Oh, shit.
He just grabbed the rim.
He promised he would never do a cartwheel on camera.
Oh, he did another one.
Oh, shit.
That's actually legitimately impressive.
Holy fuck.
Oh, man.
Damn.
You got it, right?
Yeah, I got it. Holy fuck. Oh, man. Damn. You got it, right? Yeah, I got it.
Lucas?
Can I turn on some mic?
Lucas?
You guys are stressing me out.
This is a tap for stress test.
Yeah.
This is what it's like to go on Jerry After Dark, Lucas.
Yeah.
How you feel right now.
We'll keep it stagnant.
Can we at least give...
Can we at least give...
Can you get on the court so we can see...
KB's cartwheel?
Uh-uh.
That's the court.
Are you telling me to do it again?
Yeah.
Because I just really hurt my left heel. Oh, no. You telling me to do it again? Yeah.
Because I just really hurt my left heel.
Oh, no.
You'll probably never do one again.
No.
He didn't get it?
No.
No.
None of it.
He didn't get close.
It was just an empty chair.
He hurt it.
It's fine.
All right.
We're back to talking, Lucas.
All right.
What's up, guys?
Let me see you.
Oh, the toe clippers have arrived. We have to say oh yeah over here before we start talking yeah yo that's over here
what were you saying mark over here lucas
let's do some popcorn oh no we're gonna have to sit on each other's laps
all sitting this shot.
So there's that new movie that's coming out that only has one angle, right?
That Tom Hanks movie.
Oh, yeah.
That looks like shit.
That's going to be boring as fuck.
So bad.
I need more angles.
I need-
What is it?
Dude.
It's a new movie with Tom Hanks, and it's just from one point of view in a room.
In the room?
The whole movie.
They put the trailer out.
Where's TJ?
TJ, get back here.
Yeah, I'm back. Lucas failed. I went to go film an apology. The whole movie. They put the trailer up. Where's TJ? TJ, get back here. Yeah, I'm back.
Lucas failed.
I went to go film an apology.
Oh, nice.
You missed.
KB did an awesome cartwheel.
That sounds sick.
It was like a backhand.
It was a backhand.
Do it again.
Do it again.
For the people.
Come on.
Our audience is going to be upset.
They deserve it.
They deserve it.
He's hurt.
Get it.
Get it.
Get it.
He's running.
He's running.
He's running. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, it. He's running, he's running, he's running.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, he went that way.
Now he's coming.
Where is he?
Where is he?
Oh!
Oh, my gosh.
That rocks.
Was your entire body off the ground at one point?
Like, touching nothing?
I felt it, yeah, for a little bit.
Yeah, man.
That was awesome.
You're good.
Winoi crushed the gauntlet.
Yes, he did.
He did really well, yeah.
He's got the people talking.
Yeah, it was impressive.
Did he do a sparkle?
We did it up in the Anus studio.
He ran all the way up?
We did it.
We segmented it.
Got it.
So not quite accurate.
So what was his time?
It was a 205.
Wow.
God damn.
Good for him. Wait, was it? It was a 205. Wow. Goddamn. Good for him.
Wait, what was it?
It might have been a little higher.
A kitty kick all-star goalie?
That's you?
D, I think that was a joke.
Oh.
Kitty kick.
First shot.
I thought we were doing this for just sentimental value.
I didn't know someone was filming and he was going to post it.
Oh, he got you.
Yeah, that's a good trick.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, that wasn't good.
It didn't sound like it made it.
That wasn't good.
That sounded like it hit the fence.
That sounded like it hit the fence.
Also, the soccer balls were way too close.
Yeah, it might not have counted.
The soccer balls were way too close. Yeah, it might not have counted. The soccer balls were way too close.
He's got a manly throw.
Damn.
No, this took a while.
Move the...
Who's?
My dumbass sister.
Why is she...
Why?
She's doing a terrible job with the camera.
Yeah, and she's giggling.
Ain't shit funny?
That's it. You're good.
You're good.
What's up, guys?
How you doing? You were at 40 seconds TJ can we
I want to see
When I do it for real
Next time he comes by
TJ can we
Can you show
A movie trailer
Is there music in it
Maybe
Probably
What movie trailer The tom hanks one because
tyson c it looks like the worst movie ever i don't know how they're gonna make it good
it can't be it just what's directing it well so when you say when you said when you described it
i was picturing birdman which was the a movie that won the Academy Award with it. That was one camera.
This is not that.
This is one
camera. This is one shot.
Got it. What's it called?
I think Led's Camera Barstool.
It might be home here.
They tweeted out the trailer.
It's one shot?
Yeah. It's not one shot.
I think there's different scenes. Oh, we got TJ's apology.
I want to see this too.
We got to see TJ.
Thank God Luke is gone.
I better see bare shoulder.
Oh, man.
Who could spend the rest of the night here?
You could spend the rest of my life here.
Oh, yeah. Don't get us canceled for the music. We don't care about the music, but this is... You could spend the rest of my life here.
Oh, yeah, don't get us canceled for the music.
We don't care about the music, but this is... It takes place over the course of a century?
Yeah, and it's all this shot.
That's the shot.
Do they fuck on that couch?
Is that Jenny?
What's her name?
With Tom Hanks?
Is that Robin Wright Penn?
Zemeckis.
He did Rat Race.
No, that was Clemmer.
It's right there in the name.
Hmm.
You put Rat Race in it.
Yeah, so it starts with the dinosaur.
I don't understand this part.
Yeah, it's the whole path This is where that spot was. It's the whole path of time through this one spot.
They got lucky to put the camera in that spot.
Yeah, real lucky.
Well, they built around it.
It could have just been in a wall.
But it's just that the whole time.
I might be in.
I kind of fuck with it.
I might be in.
Yeah, that would be...
All right, you guys enjoy watching a next doorbell.
All I want to see is the kitchen.
That's all I want to see.
That's a sequel, dude.
That's a sequel.
If this does well in the box office, we'll make the kitchen.
Another room of the house.
You'd think that spot got wore out over time, though.
Right?
They kept walking to that one spot.
Also, that's not, like, there's no TV in that living room, is there?
Not.
Well, there was there.
Right there.
Where? That one had, there was there. Right there. Where?
That one had one on the right.
If the runtime is 17 minutes, I'm really into this.
Right.
If it's a short.
Yeah, if it's a YouTube short.
Are they really doing, like, the prehistoric times?
Is that going to be.
Who gives a fuck about that?
Oh, and they did a spoiler.
They get old.
This is basically boyhood, but in.
Yeah.
No, but boyhood had different.
It's not. It's not boyhood. What's the title of the movie here here i think i'm in really yeah again if this is a two-hour
movie two and a half oh it'll take us through a journey of their lives from one spot do you think
it is actually one spot the whole movie do you think it's yeah and it will piss me off they'll
pepper in like like when cheers like when they would do scenes from sam's apartment every so often like
what the fuck get back yeah yeah you know what i'm talking about brandon yeah cheers
the sitcom the the nbc sitcom most of that show was in that one bar named cheers bar was named
cheers sometimes they would not be in cheers and it was jarring What was the restaurant upstairs?
Melville's
Whole thing's a Frasier prequel
Not even a prequel
Frasier one of the all time great characters
That's the intro
Salad and Scramble Days
He sings that
He was a douche though wasn't he?
No we met him at Rutgers last year he was nice as hell
I'm in Frasier Frasier wasn't a douche Frasier was just we met him at ruckers last year he was nice as hell i'm a
graham fraser wasn't a douche fraser was just looking for friendship kelsey grammar has like
he's had like nine wives no way yeah he had a very tragic family upbringing i think everybody
died around him wait seriously like his mom dad brother sister i think they all died i need to
read that wikipedia yeah i did after i met him kel. I didn't know he was from Jersey. He had that hot wife that was on Housewives.
Kelsey Grammer did?
Yeah, she was hot.
I love hot chicks.
Which hot wife did he have on Housewives?
He didn't have Eva Longoria.
Hot rule.
I love hot chicks.
Beat me to it.
Who was he married to?
Alan?
And he decided to go by Kelsey?
All right.
Whatever.
Off to a bad start.
Oh, murder?
On July 1, 1975,
Grammer's younger sister, 18-year-old Karen Grammer,
was raped and murdered by a street killer?
Jesus Christ.
Two other men?
Grammer identified his sister's body
and formed his mother shortly after.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
Holy fuck.
Yeah.
Okay, that's sad.
No, he's a Republican.
Oh. Yeah. Or Kelsey Grammer. Okay, that's sad. No, he's a Republican. Oh.
Okay.
Why is his politics tab so much bigger than the murdered sister?
Okay, what else?
How many wives does he have?
How many are hot?
Camille was the hot one.
You had nine for nine? Camille, the hot one. You had nine for nine?
Camille, there she is.
There's her link.
Yeah.
That was pretty good.
Into that.
A dancer mom.
She had a heart attack.
She was a real housewife.
Okay.
Legal.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1995, grandma was accused of sleeping with his child's underage babysitter.
And TJ just said that Fr Frazier was his favorite show.
Oh, TJ.
Oh, we're going to have to disavow.
Ooh.
Ooh, that's tough.
TJ, why did you?
He's a Jersey guy, too.
What's up, guys?
Check in.
Read a lot of notes online.
Seen a lot of rumors out there about a certain guy just want
to say you know uh played a lot of games with him but watched a lot of streams hold on babe
hell yeah can't support the guy can't support what he's about and uh that's all i got to say
about that so we go forward see you back in the uh in the arena love you guys i forgive you great
apology that was great i forgive you now we need one for kelsey grammer yeah hey guys how many
wives did he have tj how close was i to nine i think i'm not close but it felt good if he has nine we
should open up tier maker and tear the nine wives he has one two three four that's not nine it's
doreen leanne it's closer to nine than it is to one definitely yeah for sure his photo that we just passed was from fleet week what do you think happens at fleet
week oh man fleet week isn't that just a bunch of boats on water yeah crazy you remember yacht week
the people would do the music yeah they'd pay and go to like on a yacht in croatia and it was just
hot people it's like a music festival.
Titus, you could have been there.
I could have been there.
You were probably there.
That sounds so fun.
Fuck you.
Fucking love hot people.
He must hate sitting next to me.
Do you like hanging around hot guys?
Do I like hanging around hot guys?
In what way?
They have the coolest, they know all the trends.
They have the coolest fans.
Yeah, I like.
They go to the hippest restaurants.
I like hot guys, yeah.
Yeah.
I like hot guys.
I like hot guys.
Can you find Yacht Week?
I want to watch that trailer.
I might have jerked off to it.
You jerked off to a Yacht Week trailer?
I don't think so, but maybe it was like, you know, when it's, you don't actually jerk off
to the video, but it.
Get you started. I'm going to go jerk off. It's a pre-j jerk off to the video but it gets you started. I'm gonna go jerk off.
It's a pre-jerk off. Yeah, yeah, right.
That definitely happened. It starts the ball
rolling down the hill. Yeah, you're like, oh shit
I happened to. Oh, I got life down there.
I happened to pause, like you're like
scrolling Instagram, you see a picture, you're like
oh yeah, I do have a penis, let's go.
Forgot about my penis.
Clear my schedule.
The pre-jerk off is real. It's the most real thing ever. There's been weeks where I've forgotten about my penis. Clear my schedule. The pre-jerk off is real.
It's the most real thing ever.
There's been weeks where I've forgotten about my dick.
Left it in a hot car.
Don't worry, he's fine.
Air's on.
How do you leave your dick in a hot car?
Yeah, come on.
You're not responsible enough to have a dick.
I'm just stopping in the Macy's.
It's right there.
I haven't knocked on the door.
I'm worried about your phone.
He's listening to his favorite music. Crack the window for your in the Macy's. He's right there, having it out the door. He's listening to his favorite music.
Crack the window for your dick, Macy.
Oh, hon, look.
Can we get one?
That's a crowd of people.
We've got to call the police on that dick.
The firemen have to break the window to get my dick out.
Yeah, I need a sitter.
A dick sitter.
A dick sitter.
That'll solve all your problems.
Dick sitter.
Do the NASCAR read.
Didn't you just do it with Tyler? There's another one.
NASCAR. They race more than everywhere. You with Tyler? There's another one. Nashville.
They race more than everywhere.
You did the...
I don't know why I said that.
What does that mean?
That was crazy what I just said.
They race more than everywhere.
That was truly a jumble of random words.
Dan, did you do Nashville or Chicago?
You did Chicago, right?
I did Chicago.
I think I was trying to say they race more than in Chicago, but I said they race more
than everywhere.
That might be their new slogan.
NASCAR salutes.
Where would that be?
More than more.
Everywhere is everywhere.
NASCAR salutes concludes this weekend in Nashville.
The entire racing community rallies around NASCAR salutes
to show appreciation and gratitude to veterans
and the active brave men and women who fight to protect our country.
NASCAR will be hosting troops from Fort Campbell at the race.
Tune in this Sunday, June 30th at 3.30 p.m. Eastern on NBC.
Don't miss NASCAR in Music City.
Tune in on Sunday, June 30th at 3.30 p.m. Eastern on NBC
to watch the stars of NASCAR at Nashville Super Speedway.
Are we getting ready for the toes?
I think I just got screwed.
They just didn't drop off.
So I have to reorder.
They didn't drop off the toe clippers?
No, I got to reorder them.
Well, we could just, we probably have toolboxes around here.
You don't have toolboxes?
I'm not doing it, but.
Maybe a little plier.
I think that would be better, right?
It really is just going to just...
If I have a nail under the nail, I'll be fine.
Oh, rat trap.
We just rat trap it off.
Yeah.
If I have a nail under the nail, I'll be fine.
If I don't, I'm screwed.
You're fine if there's no nail underneath.
No.
No?
It'll grow back real quick.
What are you talking about?
What if it's just bare skin?
Won't that hurt?
A band-aid?
No, no.
No.
Yeah.
We all did a round of rat trap yesterday, so you got to do it.
Oh, okay.
Can I see the highlights?
There are.
Oh, wow.
Lucas was doing it.
It was bad.
I was very mean of you, by the way, to text that we're doing a tank race tomorrow when
I was in the throes of another drunken stupor.
Yeah, but I didn't think you'd believe me.
I mean, it was me.
Last week has been the worst.
Yeah, I basically was like
a 22 year old again
it's not good
yeah but you didn't have a 22 year old's body
to do it in
my brain is empty
got nothing upstairs
in between your two binge drinkings
you went to the Sphere
yeah
your brain melted
NHL draft tomorrow at the Sphere. Yeah. Your brain melted.
Yeah.
NHL draft tomorrow?
Yeah.
At the Sphere.
Why is the NBA draft starting in an hour?
It's the second round.
Nobody cares.
Why are they doing it?
No one cares, but then they also are throwing it into no one cares.
Second round could be an email.
Yeah. The whole draft can't be an email.
It would be good if they sent it in an email be awesome maybe a text alert yeah like there's no reason to get together again but they're doing it they should post it on
the wall like a big play yeah you gotta go and look yeah it's all Bronny, right? That's pretty much it.
That is kind of a huge thing.
Maybe Filipowski?
Well, he's getting drafted for sure.
But yeah, I guess like where he goes.
Bronny's definitely going to get drafted, right?
I think he's getting drafted.
Lakers are at 56.
Because at that point, if you have the 56th pick,
why would you not just try?
What's the opportunity cost if you don't like Bronwny like wait so is it going to be the lakers well we assume unless another team tries to take
him hostage but whoever's 55 drafting him would be great that'd be so fun yeah because some some
people are saying like they're going to take him hostage and try to get lebron or we'll trade you
to the lakers for austin ree. I forget which coach said that.
That would be good.
Yeah.
Although J.J. Redick already said he loves Austin Reeves.
Yeah.
He's on Connect now, too.
Yeah, J.J. had a tough day on Tuesday.
Well, he doesn't give a fuck.
Well, the other thing.
Oh, yeah.
The other thing. And we cut it out of the part of my take we did with will but will called
him oh because will hadn't been on the internet all day oh yeah and will was blackout drunk oh
yeah i had to take the phone i was like hey jj i'm sorry about this oh no yeah what did he say
anything no he didn't say he was just like that's, he didn't say anything. He was just like, that's okay.
That's fine.
But Will was just like, yeah, let's call JJ.
So y'all are going to get to the point.
JJ just doesn't answer your calls at all.
Yeah.
Drunk Will, Stephen.
I think we're already there.
Yeah.
Why would you?
Stephen, did you chase him out of podcasting?
Yes.
Some are saying that.
We should have a bridge burning episode where we just call people and ruin our connection.
I kind of like that.
Yeah.
That's a good idea.
Lucas, what are you doing now?
Just seeing how you aren't going to be able to press the buttons fast enough?
Okay.
What should we play tomorrow?
Like Duck, Duck, Goose?
Oh, yeah.
Before we run around.
Red Rover?
We should get crazy with it tomorrow.
Hide and seek.
I have like 90 videos I want to show.
Yeah, our most interactive show ever.
Take some callers.
Get the VR set.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Put that up there.
Steven, what are you doing 4th of July?
You going to New Jersey?
Yeah, going back east.
What are you doing?
Maybe we can link up, Steve.
Where are you going to be? Florham, I'm going back east. What are you doing? Maybe we can link up, Steve. Where are you going to be?
Florham Park.
All right, yeah.
Yeah, let's go.
Sounds like a date.
Y'all aren't going to link up.
Oh, we will.
That's really not far from it.
How often do you two link up here in Chicago where you both live and see each other every day?
KB and Steven, though, definitely have high link up potential.
But I don't think they've ever linked up once.
But that's why I think they actually.
You guys should squad link.
Because Steven will follow up on a link-up.
He will.
He will.
Yeah, he will.
Who in here has not linked up outside of work?
I've linked up with all of you outside of work, right?
I've linked up with all you guys.
I've never linked up with Kyle outside of work.
Have we?
We never linked up. We've never linked up. I've linked up with all of you outside of work right linked up with all you guys all of you i've never linked up with kyle have we we never linked up we've never linked up i've linked up with nick chay i haven't linked up with chains uh i haven't linked up outside of work no we need to do link
update link update yeah but it's not one big group it's like yeah three small groups i've
never linked up with kate i've linked up laugh factory oh what is link up like i've been
out with kate in groups no what we need to do is we need to have we need to have four of us
pick a spot and the other four just rotate oh yeah speed link up yeah right yeah yeah get like
20 minutes all right yeah like all right next spot what the fuck is up with that
concrete beach on the lake
popular
which one
it's right next to the sand beach
and people are laying out on the concrete
oh the like steps that go up
off of like Oak Ave or North
I think it's deeper
it's not even steps
it's just a concrete beach
but it's got like ladders and you could jump off and like jackknife and shit oh when i saw it the
water was right up to the concrete it is but it's deeper yeah i just don't get why you wouldn't just
pivot to the sand you could but concrete's cleaner yeah it's irritating it gets everywhere
okay of course i think it's i don't think that's the ideal feeling.
Oh, shit.
Those bros were playing beer die?
That looked like fun.
Nothing more wholesome?
You guys are defending, like, laying out on the concrete?
I'm not defending laying out on it.
I'll defend it.
I don't know how you would choose concrete.
I would choose the grass.
You get no sand in your shoes.
I don't like sand. Yeah, no sand in your shoes. Sand in your shoes is not that big of a deal, even on the concrete. I would choose the grass. You get no sand. I would choose the grass. I don't like sand.
Yeah, no sand in your shoes.
Sand in your shoes is not that big of a deal.
It's a huge deal.
The shoes are sandy forever.
Then don't go to the beach.
Concrete also warms up, so you're like a lizard on a hot rock.
I'm not laying on the albedo.
I'll run and I'll jump off and I'll go lay in the grass on a blanket.
My sincerest mistake.
No, no, no, no.
No, it seems fun.
The guana hot rock got you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nothing like being a lizard on a hot rock.
You can't jump into the water from sand.
True.
Can you jump in right there?
It's like an inch deep, isn't it?
No.
How did this become my argument?
Kyle started it.
Get him.
You idiots.
Get fucked.
No.
Okay.
God damn it brandon sorry
yes you can jump in off of the concrete beach
everyone's got sand beaches it's true yeah i'm gonna disagree with you right there done and done
and done and done again if you look at that map right there a very shocking low amount of people
have sand beaches i bet you most of them
do you think kansas has sand beaches every state has one yep on like rivers and lakes and stuff
heard of a lake but even if a state has one most people in that state don't have it
yeah but guess what how many of those states have concrete beaches?
Probably not a lot. I would say more than you think.
No, I would say no.
So I won that argument.
What are we discussing?
Concrete beach.
Get those toes out, boy.
Oh, I'm nervous.
It's 4.7 stars.
What are the ratings?
Whose rating is concrete beach?
Concrete stays clean.
You know what you're going to get.
It feels horrible.
Okay, but here we go.
Like a pool is surrounded by concrete. No one is lying on the concrete.
All right, hear me out, though.
You go to a sand beach.
You ever been to a bad sand beach where the sand's, like, clumpy and gross?
Yes.
Okay.
You ever been to a sand beach that the sand is too deep, hard to walk through?
Yep.
Okay.
Hot sand.
Concrete, you know what you're going to get when you go to a concrete beach.
It's concrete.
And it sucks, though, I think is Kyle's point.
You know what it is, but it sucks.
No one has given it a one-star review.
I'm going to give it a one-star review.
A consistent suck is better than a surprise suck.
Well, now hang on a second.
Yeah.
Wait.
Think about that for a second.
A consistent suck is better than a surprise suck.
Wrong.
Going into something expecting it to be good and then having it suck is way more disappointing
than going into something and being like, this is going to suck, and it did.
Yeah, true. i rest my case i think a surprise suck at least gives you something to talk about this might be my greatest argument ever i found a way to just spin a spin laying down a towel
laying on a towel on concrete i think i should be a lawyer yeah i was gonna horrible but
i thought you guys were gonna hoist me on a throne for that time with you I should be a lawyer. Yeah, this is horrible, but I thought you guys were going to hoist me
on a throne for that.
I'm with you, Kyle.
Yeah, no, I'm with you too.
I don't know.
I don't know what...
I know what would compel someone
if you're like,
yeah, you hate sand that much.
I guess you would do it that way,
but at that point...
A picnic on the grass
and then walking across the concrete,
jumping and cooling off,
going back and forth.
That's fine.
That's perfect.
I think that's great.
Laying down a towel to lay on concrete. Absurd. That's what I going back. That's fine. That's perfect. I think that's great. Laying down a towel to lay on concrete.
Absurd.
That's what I'm saying.
That's absurd.
Yeah.
That's absurd.
And you need your head checked, really.
Yeah.
Go get your head checked.
All right.
You need your head checked.
You leaving one star, Kyle?
Yeah.
Be a move to bring like an air mattress.
Yeah.
That'd be nice.
Yeah.
That'd be a nice day.
That would be a
just roll around
lugging an air mattress
on the concrete
that'd be fun
oh
not unanimous
damn
that's unfortunate
66 people
so we can't do it
no
66 people ruined it
I wish hammocks were more publicly available.
They were in Philly and homeless dudes were just fucking on them.
I know.
That's the problem.
Yeah.
I understand why they're not, but I don't like hammocks.
You don't like hammocks?
And you like concrete pieces?
Nick doesn't either.
What?
I'm fine with them.
I think they're fun.
I think they're nice for about 10 minutes
I couldn't read a book
It's like a hot tub
So relaxing
You can stay in a hammock for an hour
Fuck you I'm going to be in a hammock in my mind right now
I'll state my case
I think it's specific to me
Hammocks are not great for people who might be a little bit overweight
You don't like getting in and out of them You don't like getting in and out of them.
I don't like getting in and out of them.
I always think I'm going to flip.
I'm scared of them.
That's what it is.
If I was 60 pounds lighter, I think I'd love hammocks.
If there was a hammock by the water and a swinging bench by the water,
I'm going bench 10 times out of 10.
Swinging bench rules.
I love a swinging bench.
Yeah.
You can get a little wild on them too.
You do tricks on it? I do tricks on it.
360.
360.
I flip.
I make swing sets.
We don't do swing sets. I'll rip one if I see
one. There should be adult
playgrounds. Yes.
Even that, we were talking about concrete,
that material that playgrounds are built on,
like that soft, like-
That rubbery.
The rubbery stuff, that'd be a good beach.
Yeah, that's good stuff.
That's good stuff.
That's good surface.
Yeah.
Not the mulch.
It gives you a little, like, bounce.
A little bounce.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can, like, pick at it a little bit.
Play basketball in that.
That'd be amazing.
Don't go like crazy.
The concrete beach should be covered in that.
It should.
I'm going to start a petition maybe.
Yeah.
What's that material called?
Do a petition.
Playgrounds.
Rubber?
Playground rubber.
Yeah, I think it's rubber.
It's just rubber.
Is that the word we're looking for?
Yeah, that would be rubber.
Rubber floor.
Interesting.
Do the high noon ad.
Yep.
It's called rubber mulch.
Rubber mulch?
Rubber mulch.
We need more of that.
But I don't want it to be individual pieces.
I like when it's like one salt.
They're glued together.
Little tiny boys glued together.
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you. Here's a fun thing you guys get
excited about oh that's fun i'm not gonna say it you didn't even say it fuck you brandon brandon
you didn't even say it i was ready to get excited too sorry that was a surprise suck
that was sorry yeah dan i apologize You want me to leave the room
So you can tell them
Do we want to wait
10 minutes till you say it
No
We can talk about something else
It's gonna be fun
And I don't want to take
Fun away from the boys
It's legitimately fun
That sounds awesome
Is it boomerang
Yeah leave the room
I don't want to leave the room
I don't want you to be able
To feel the excitement
That everyone gets right away
Make him just stay in the room But he has to be to be able to feel the excitement that everyone gets right away make him
just stay in the room but he has to be down here ass up arched okay i'll leave the room
pop that thing yeah all right we're uh we sold we sold this big thing we're gonna do in
august uh it's gonna be called camp barstool whoa yeah we're gonna go to uh either a big house on a
lake or even possibly like a summer camp uh for like three days and we're gonna do a bunch of
competitions let's go that's gonna be a blast. That's going to be awesome.
That's going to be sick.
I'm very excited. Anything else you need to add?
Yeah.
There's got to be more. What kind of events?
Anything we can imagine.
Running with an egg on a spoon?
Stay the night there?
I think it's going to be like two nights, three days.
We should do a ghost story podcast. Oh!
I like that.
You ever play Gaga Ball?
I love Gaga. It's like a summer
camp game.
Gaga Ball?
You need a wooden octagon and a
dodgeball. Easy enough.
Wait, what is it? You guys never played
Gaga? It's like a day sleep away camp. Nick, you bring the dodgeball bring the wooden octagon. Deal. Wait, what is it? You guys never played gaga?
It's like a day sleep away camp.
Nick, you bring the dodgeball, I'll bring the wood knock.
Deal.
Where am I going to fucking find a dodgeball?
Gaga ball?
Hey, are we ever going to do the... We could play kiss ball.
Are we ever going to do the yak at my house?
Yeah.
Say when.
I had a meeting with a sponsor about it yesterday.
Oh, good.
Yeah, we got to.
What are we going to do there?
Fish?
Do a yak?
Get on a boat?
We all got to get on a boat.
We all got to get on the boat.
Get on the boat.
We all got to get on the boat.
Get on a boat.
I'm more worried about the pier.
We could play kiss ball finally.
I know.
We've been talking about it for very long.
We need to get helium tanks.
I already forget the rules of kiss ball.
I don't think we've practiced them yet, have we?
Teams of two.
You throw it in the air. Throw it in the air.
How many kisses can you do before it hits the ground?
It's kind of like Jacks.
Yeah.
It's gay Jacks.
Gay Jack.
Like that.
Let's play gay Jacks.
Nicky Smoke's got his shirts delivered.
Oh, no.
He showed the boxes.
Yeah.
It is a lot of shirts. 5,000 shirts?
Yeah.
No, I think that's only like one of a couple shipments that are coming.
Really?
There's no way that's 5,000 shirts.
Dave said that's the first of five shipments.
Oh, my God.
There's 17 boxes.
We're never going to see him again.
He can't come back?
Holy shit.
How is he selling these, too?
Is he just taking cash?
We got a lot of work to do.
They sent him like one of those square credit card readers where's he staying down there
first of five yeah where is he staying oh my god i think his his mom lives there yeah oh his family
holy shit somewhere on the sidewalk by elbow room has he sold a bunch already i don't think so he
has meetings lined up i was talking to him last night.
With who?
That's one of five shipments.
Bars, clubs.
100 down.
I think he has a meeting with the mayor of Broward County somehow.
Hmm.
Is that going to sell shirts?
The mayor?
No idea.
Boy.
Is that a horse?
That's tough.
5,000 shirts.
That's a lot shirts that's a lot
how much do you need for a merch bonus like 1200
yeah but isn't it
he the trick is
he can't come back until he sells them
but he probably wants to be down there
yeah that's what I was
no he wants to be back
I'll say
June July in Miami
Chicago June July is
way better
way way better if this was February
I'd be like oh that's not a punishment but
it is so god damn
hot in Miami right now
humid
have you
ever been to Miami in summer
I have yeah
multiple times good story that is one Have you ever been to Miami in summer? I have, yeah. Multiple times.
Good story.
That is one concrete beach you do not want to go to.
No, no, no.
How about the weather here today, huh?
Beautiful.
About 10 degrees cooler?
About perfect.
Beautiful.
Fish haven't been biting, but that's okay.
Why?
A couple days.
You know, a weather system comes through.
They get fed a little bit, and I've got to find them again. I don't know where they are. I found them last week. I? A couple days. You know, a weather system comes through. They get fed a little bit.
I got to find them again.
I don't know where they are.
I found them last week.
I'll find them again.
Do you see any other species?
There's crappie and there's northern pike.
Northern fish.
Watersnake?
There's a bald eagle that frequents my lake.
A bald eagle?
Did you check in your stomach?
For what?
For the fish.
You said you can't find them maybe you ate them
no i didn't check him you fucking ate him didn't you there's a bald eagle that frequents the lake
that's i haven't really i haven't named her yet did her i think so wow don't know why
what are we thinking let's name him something shoot it with an airsoft are you sure
it's a woman uh i i'm bessie i don't know why i said woman sarah here's a woman eagle i think it's
a woman sarah susan susan's a silly name susan b anthony my favorite uh desperate housewife do you
know what the b stood for yep bitch yeah Bitch. Yeah, she was a bitch.
She got testy every once in a while.
Capital B.
Susan B. Anthony got hangry.
She always said she was hangry.
She used that as an excuse.
Susan B. Anthony.
Susan B. Anthony.
Why was she the one woman everyone learned about?
I don't know.
What did she do?
Suffrage.
Suffrage.
Oh, that's why.
She was pro-suffrage?
Yeah. What? Yeah, exactly. It was pro-suffrage? Yeah.
What?
Yeah, exactly.
It's so funny that we just know that name and I don't know anything about it.
Well, she was on a quarter.
Who was the one who did the flag?
Sally Fields?
Betsy Roberts?
No.
Sally Fields.
That's the cookie.
That's Mrs. Fields.
That's Mrs. Fields.
Sally Fields.
That's the cookie.
That is the cookie.
Hey, moron.
That's the cookie. She's still Mrs. Fields. No, she's... cookie that is the cookie that's the cookie she's still mrs fields
no she's sally feels as an actress yeah she's the cookie woman i know my women history what about uh
i just know women on coins what security woman marie no not polio she was saying
she was organized she said if you don't love it get rid of it
If it doesn't bring you joy
She organized houses
It's Kondo
Was that a stage name?
Kondo?
I gotta say it she's ugly as fuck
Wait let's
Tear list how hot historical women are.
I would love to.
She'd be a lot prettier if she smiled.
Come on.
Come on, toots.
Look at that, toots.
Wait, wait.
Susan Anthony, they added the B later.
Elizabeth Katie.
Wait, what's the B for?
I'm telling you
Elizabeth Katie Stanton
Why doesn't she get any love?
Does she get love?
Stanton gets
Not enough
Got it
She never got married?
Hmm
Florence
Nightingale
Oh yeah
That's the
And the dog days
Are over
Those were great dog days Oh that's who that is Yeah that's the and the dog days we don't have to get drunk just a drunk history a sober history of women
wait so what who's the who's the Curie woman?
Marie Curie.
Was that x-rays?
She did some science shit.
She did x-rays.
For sure.
I think she did x-rays.
She did fucking like...
Who did x-rays?
Kaleidoscopes.
Kaleidoscopes.
Oh, my God.
I don't know.
She's just standing next to the real men doctors.
She didn't invent the kaleidoscope.
She had fun with it.
She didn't do penicillin.
We know that.
So we can start there.
Okay.
Didn't do AIDS.
Didn't do AIDS.
Didn't do AIDS.
Which female invented the kitchen?
That would have been a man.
Oh, I think we invented that and put him over there okay what what wait
i want to know what marie curie did i think she um yeah uh this is one my final day without kate
final answer is medicine she was in the hospital she was definitely medicine she was in medicine
but what medicine like she did something was she curie like was she working on shit yeah was it a
good name she did something that i'm saying i? Like, was she working on shit? Yeah, was it a good name? She did something that I'll never forget.
Was it Dick Pills?
Is Kondo a stage name?
Who's Kondo?
Marie Kondo.
She cleans up condos.
She does.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I thought she did desserts.
No, no, that's Betty Crocker.
No, who's Marie Callender?
She does desserts, too.
Let's take some pies.
Marie Callender did desserts?
All right, here we go.
Marie Curie.
Oh.
Oh.
Physicist.
Clint Eastwood.
Pioneering research.
Are you activity?
I told you x-rays.
Yeah, that's medicine.
I told you x-rays.
I fucking know my women.
She does look like somebody stole her El Camino
Or Gran Torino
How'd we come up with Curry
For her name
First couple to win
A Nobel Prize
That makes sense
Wow
She was born on the 4th of July
Nope
She died then
Oh
Shit
Man that was good
That's women
And that's women
Very informative Yep Historical We have to give credit shit that was good that's women that was good and that's women very informative
historical
we have to give credit
to Kate
yeah
why
that video yesterday
oh that was
oh so good
with Kelsey
so good
it was crazy
did you guys play it on here
no
no we didn't
it was after
I think it was after
yeah
done
Kate they had this whole beer olympics thing it was supposed to I think it was after. Yeah.
Kate.
They had this whole beer Olympics thing.
It was supposed to be in Las Vegas.
They had the Kelsey brothers.
And once they signed on, everybody signed on.
Bert Kreischer was a big one, too.
But then Bert dropped off.
Then the Kelsey brothers had to drop out.
And then it became all the other athletes dropped out.
It was this whole thing.
It was, like, super tough for Buston with the boys.
I don't know how they're going to recover.
It was a tough thing.
But anyways, that's life for you.
How's it going?
It's going.
I don't know what to say.
Love Bussin.
Love Barstool.
Never mind.
There we go.
I love it.
And she was playing flip cup with him.
She was playing flip cup with Kelsey? Yeah. Yeah, with kelsey yeah yeah they had the beer game they had a beer they had their own beer bowl yeah it just happened
to fall on the same day there was a guy at uh i can't remember which guy it was at bus and might
have been back to yari who max was wearing a kelsey jersey and back to yari was like went up
to was like dude i can't believe you showed showed up. I heard you guys dropped out.
And it's awesome that you're here.
Max didn't realize he was joking.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
Brutal.
He thought he was Jason Kelsey.
He thought he actually pulled off Jason Kelsey.
What did Max respond?
I don't know.
Every time I looked over, Max had more of his jersey cut off.
And more of his body was just flowing.
The end of the day, just a mess.
Hank having to compete was so funny.
Can I see the Hank getting thrown around the pool?
Yeah.
I've watched it a couple times.
I've watched it so many times.
Looks like he's having a real good time.
Did Tommy get roughed up?
Tommy did not.
Tommy stayed out of the pool.
Yeah, of course.
He stayed out of the pool.
There's this picture of Hank, too.
He just started you. The Hank chugging video was tough, too. He just started you.
The Hank chugging video was tough, too.
Oh, yeah.
You just suck at drinking beers.
You can't chug.
You just can't do it.
Couldn't be us.
Well, he did the same thing that he drank like four beers before we started.
Again.
What?
I look over, and they're drinking beers like, guys, we're about to get hammered.
God, we got to warm up.
I'm like, that's what the three beer chug is for.
That's more than enough to warm up.
A lot of chlorine.
A lot of chlorine in the pool.
That's all I'll say.
Oh, wow.
That's beer games.
Kicks your ass.
Yeah, show them getting ragdolled.
He's got asshole lips.
I guess Taylor and Will just have this move where they put you in a full Nelson and they just go back and forth dunking you.
Because Will did that to me too.
Yeah.
It's good old-fashioned fun.
It also is funny that we had that picture of, you can see it.
It's like Taylor has max in a chokehold
i'm trying to help max with taylor chokehold pfts on taylor hank's just on the other side of the
pool just watching like this like it's all pmt trying to help each other and then matt and then
hank was just standing on the other side of the pool. Just being like, I don't know those guys.
You know who's got your back when it comes to that stuff.
Did we lose to Japan in football?
Yeah.
In what?
Football.
41 to 20. Oh, sorry.
There's just so many people there
Those first two are violent
Hank is Will's boss right?
Yeah
When does all this come out?
No idea
I don't even know how it's made into a video
Yeah
Like if they just said it was for clips
I'd be like that would be great
Because there were some great clips
But I guess it's going to be a video
Can't wait to see who wins yeah I'm not telling I will for a price uh we'll probably
get it for free yeah no probably not a machine could probably tell you yeah you guys are in for next year, right?
No?
Yes.
I'm busy that week.
Birthday.
I'm in with my new throat.
Oh, yeah.
You think you'll be able to suck cock?
Suck cock?
Good question. Please.
I don't know. When do you get the question. I don't know.
When do you get the shot?
I don't know how well it's going to work.
The cocks are heavily carbonated.
Are they a common hindrance of cock sucking, the burps?
Yeah.
Yeah, RCPD.
I don't know.
It's just one shot, long needle, done.
In your throat?
Yeah.
In your mouth or your throat throat in the esophagus so they have to go in your mouth
it's like they're gonna put me under for like 15 minutes oh man that's and it's botox
it's both yeah it is botox that's the most uh toxic substance on earth
what about like the shit in chernobyl like dank bowtombo
like it is some poisonous shit dude i'm pumped for you to burp yeah you when after you're gonna
have to chug something and do your first burp on the air yeah apparently you burp non-stop for a
few days or maybe weeks oh my god that'll be good for you who has to talk do you think it's so it like saves
up it's been saving up all your burps that's one way to look at it yeah yeah fun way to look
it's a fun way to look at it you like you're all of a sudden likeping up pot roasts you had 15 years ago.
Tell me how it is.
Could your voice change?
A big burp is the best feeling in the world.
It's like farting out of your throat kind of. Yeah.
It's relief.
You could feel like absolute shit.
Build up a gas.
Have one burp and just be perfectly fine.
Oh my.
And it could be a tasty burp.
It could change my life.
Oh yeah.
A nice tasty burp.
Oh, it's the best feeling in the world.
Especially when- have we talked about
like people describing how blind people see yes uh maybe compared it to seeing out of your elbow
yeah a person who was born blind said it's like imagine your elbow seeing that's what i see i
don't see just blackness he sees nothing that fran's looking at his elbow like how does that
work so they don't see jet black. They don't.
Well, how do they know what black is?
What is nothing?
Without eyes, don't see.
What is nothing?
I don't know, and I can't comprehend.
How can they, they have to describe that further.
Nothing is black.
I don't know.
No, they don't even have eyes to see that.
You don't know what black is.
It's like your elbow seeing.
So they don't know it's not black.
No, but no, they don't see black, I don't think.
If somebody doesn't have eyeballs, I don't even know.
Look up the description of what a blind person describing the elbow is.
Can they see light?
Like in the sense of knowing whether the light is on?
Can they feel warmth, Brandon?
On a concrete beach, they could.
Yes, very hot.
Can they tell if the lights are on or off?
Well, they're cold blood.
I think some.
In the way that, yeah.
For sure some.
But I can't do that with my elbow.
Your elbow knows when there's light.
Yeah, hold on.
Yeah, there's lights on right now.
Wait.
My elbow.
Yeah, confirmed.
People who have lost their sight have different experiences.
Some describe seeing complete
darkness like being in a cave some people see sparks or experience vivid visual hallucinations
that may take the form of recognizable shapes that's not like this but wait that says people
who have lost their sight that makes sense so they once had sight and know what it's like what
about people who have never had sight bored person with total blindness won't be able to see anything
but a person with low vision maybe well that just tells me what blind is yeah that was just definition of blind
uh-oh why are you walking so hard oh am i delivering this to my house
no fuck gotta have clippers here right somewhere maybe i'm delivering this to my house, aren't I? Got it.
We might have to do a toast to Archie tomorrow.
Fuck.
That's a good Friday
before the break thing.
The boat from the...
Whoa, voice crack.
The boat from the
weights and fish scandal
is on sale.
The boat from the...
Weights and fish scandal? Yeah, you can buy it. Brandon, buy it. We got weights and fish? is on sale. The boat from the weights and fish scandal?
Yeah, you can buy it.
Brandon, buy it.
We got weights and fish?
Yeah, you can buy the boat.
Remember that...
Goddamn.
The government seized it and now it's on auction.
$80,000?
42 bids on it?
Yeah, we just put it in yesterday.
Surprise for Dan, yeah.
Yeah, took us a while.
What the fuck?
We couldn't get the stars to line up right.
Titus figured it out.
$80,000 for a bass boat is crazy.
You can get a $10,000 bass boat and do the same thing.
Oh, wow, $130,000.
Oh, fuck.
What?
It's going to where?
Will's house?
The hotel I stayed at in Nashville.
In Nashville.
God damn it.
Toenail clippers.
They just got two orders of it.
The guy that stayed here two days ago.
Call the hotel.
Damn it.
Tell them to forward it all.
Fuck.
Yeah, on Tuesday night after I got home to the hotel I ordered 14 waters
because you were so thirsty yeah you never know and pink starburst how many waters were left
I drank a lot of them oh my god and I ate the starburst in like darkness at like seven in the
morning when I woke up yeah all right, so no toe surgery today.
Toe surgery tomorrow?
Yeah.
Toe surgery tomorrow.
Happy birthday, Nick.
What?
Happy birthday, Nick.
Yeah, Nick's birthday, you're going to get the toe surgery.
Yeah, I want the nail for my gift.
Yeah, you're right.
I couldn't get the what's up from Joe Burrow, so I'll take the toenail.
What if we did this?
What if we took the toenail off
and then
put it somewhere in a cake?
I like that.
I like that a lot.
An entire toenail in a cake?
That's a good gamble.
That's a good gamble.
You either get this delicious fluffy cake
or an entire toenail.
Big Cat, I'm begging you to
turn it off but i think i think one time turn it off one goddamn time so people aren't too
delicate when we're eating it we have to have a race yeah the slice the fastest loser has to like
drink a gallon of milk yes that is so gross i think i'd rather eat just your toe because it
would be less off-putting than the nail in in the cake? Than a nail in a piece of cake.
Imagine that mouthfeel.
I'll take the razor.
Over a toenail?
Over the toenail.
Grow up.
Come on, it's just a toenail.
I'm in for the gamble.
I am too.
You know I am.
It's Nick's birthday.
You're going to say no to Nick's birthday?
Please? I'm in. We can't say am. It's Nick's birthday. You're going to say no to Nick's birthday? Please.
I'm in.
We can't say no.
Let's order a cake.
We'll have a slice.
One person will have a toenail.
We'll get Donnie to put it in, and then he can clean it up so it looks like he can.
But I think there should be other things in the cake, so maybe edible things.
You think it's a toenail.
Like a pecan.
Yeah, a pecan.
What if I enjoy it?
Or if we finish the cakes
and nobody said anything.
Oh, fuck.
Who put potato chips in my cake? Yeah, chips maybe
would be good for the toenail.
Hey, toenail cake tomorrow.
Yes.
We can't just have a toe surgery.
Yeah, we have to elevate.
We gotta have toenails. Brandon, it's like a 30 second birthday tradition. No, I know. Yeah, we have to elevate.
Brandon, it's like a 30-second birthday tradition.
No, I know. We'll do it for Kyle's 30 seconds.
Yeah, we'll do it.
Yeah, we'll do it.
Every year, we'll find someone who turns 32, and I'll give them my toenail.
I've been saving my age 32 nail for 13 years.
You have nobody to give it to yet.
You're 45?
Yeah.
I'm waiting for Tommy to give it to me. What do 45? Yeah. I'm waiting for Tommy to get of age.
What do you mean, oof? Y'all knew I was 45.
Oof. No.
I think that's good. I feel like you've been saying you're
42 for a long time. I had a good idea, but to hear
you say it out loud.
Well, I've been saying I said I was 44
all of last year. Nobody had a problem with 44.
Yeah, no, 44 is fine.
45? Oof. I would have guessed you were
42, 43.
You get Social Security soon?
20 more years.
Yeah, a lot of perks on your horizon.
Free Denver omelet.
Yep.
So I got that coming up.
I love you Brandon
yeah that's fine
wasn't George Costanza
supposed to be 29
in season 1
oh yeah that's right
they were all supposed
to be in their late 20s
right
yeah
hit me with more of those
season 1 of
Sex and the City
Carrie was 31
wow
yeah
really
supposed to be
yeah
there you go
Archie Bunker was like in his 40s
Was he in his 40s?
He was like
He wasn't that old
Oh man
Wasn't Ed Bundy in his 30s?
Al Bundy?
Al Bundy
Who's Ed Bundy?
Ted Bundy
Ted Bundy's a serial killer
You guys can see my brain is
Ed O'Neill played Al Bundy
I'm a zero today
Yeah
No but you're locked in on toenails and cake
that's a good idea that will be people will be glued to the screen watching our every face
every bite even when i even when my brain is zero i can still come up with torture ideas come on
what did uh heady lamar do historical woman what that's a person yeah Yeah, Hedy Lamarr. Yeah, Hedy Lamarr.
Would you Google women?
I'm locked in on women right now, yeah.
No idea.
She was on the NASA team.
She sent people to the moon.
She sent a monkey to space. Yes, she did.
What did she do?
I think she did.
Shut the fuck up.
A monkey to space or a dog to space?
I think monkey and a dog. Did they die? I think Russ just sent up monkey to space or a dog to space i think monkey and a dog did
they die oh she's i think rusher's in a monkey we should a dog no that might not be right
oh she oh she's actress no she's the woman from that uh that movie uh
boomtown imitation theory yeah imitation game where game where they chemically castrated the guy.
That's right.
She was in Ecstasy too, right?
She was in Monkey Bone.
That's right.
That's a great call.
That's a beautiful gal.
That might not be the one.
That's a dame.
That's a doll.
Whoa, a lot of husbands.
That's a timeless beauty.
She has a lot of husbands.
A lot of husbands.
Oh, wow.
A lot of husbands.
One, two, three.
God damn.
Good for her. Six. How come Howard Lee A lot of husbands. One, two, three. God damn. Good for her.
How come Howard Lee and Lewis Boyce didn't even get paged?
Marilyn Monroe had a bunch of husbands, right?
How are you going to have a pageless husband?
She went through them quick, too.
Oh, that's a fun fact.
Marilyn Monroe actually, she stunk.
Stinky, stinky.
Body odor? Yeah, she was like a very famous, like she'd
eat in bed. Oh no.
Lay in bed. No. Roll around.
That's my type of gal. Yeah.
Yeah. Gross.
Stank on her.
Malasek Monroe. More like
it. Oh shit.
Am I right? Brandon, did you hear me? I got you. It's Malasek Monroe. What is this TJ sent, shit. Brandon, did you hear me?
I got you.
What is this, TJ?
I don't know if you want to...
I don't know.
What is it? Tate's looking for a lawyer with specialization
in defamation and libel?
What's going on here?
Where is he?
He's got to be upstairs.
He might be in the cave. Open and shut case. to be upstairs. Tate! He might be in the cave.
Open and shut case.
Oh, no.
Tate!
Oh, no.
Oh.
He's coming.
He's coming.
I think he's coming.
He's coming.
All right.
Relay system worked really well there.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was nice.
This is when he would hop on the fire pole
The fire pole
This is the fire pole
Working on a slide
Slide fine
But the fire pole right in the studio
Slide coming
Can the slide at least curve into the studio?
Fire pole
Into a foam pit
You can't do a slide and it's curved
Because it would be on the back
Is it going to be a water slide?
Don't you think they need to come right in the studio?
Can we put water on it?
We can put water on it
That'd be sweet
Yeah we'll put water on it. That'd be sweet. Yeah, we'll put water on it on Fridays.
Yeah.
Or just a hole in the floor.
What are you looking at your watch for?
Like you got somewhere to be, Fasoli.
What?
Who do you have to sue?
I've been told I have a legitimate case, by the way.
What is this?
Defamation.
By who? By EA Sports. Oh, it's, by the way. What is this? Defamation. By who?
By EA Sports.
Oh.
Oh, is that Ohio State bullshit?
Am I wrong?
Oh, people thought it was probably Kelly related.
So what is it?
Tell us the case.
It's not.
The senior producer, the first hire of the video game, is a Michigan grad.
His office at EA Sports is all Michigan memorabilia and every single piece of propaganda
that this video game has released has had a subtle like shot at Ohio State oh yeah this is open shot
yeah it's open shot I'm with him am I wrong to go to prison you got this you got this I like this
thank you but hold on imagine if you got the game taken away again.
Oh, yeah.
It'd be worth it.
You'd be the most amazing man in the world.
That would be bad.
That would be bad.
But, Titus, you know what I'm talking about. What if the Supreme Court, I might be with Dan now,
what if the Supreme Court is like,
Tate, you're absolutely right, and for that reason,
we're going to suspend it again forever.
Well, then he shouldn't have all these little –
and I'm right, Titus.
All jokes aside, everyone has had a little piece of like,
oh, Illinois celebrating with their trophy in the back bottom scoreboard.
It says Illinois beat Ohio State 52-42.
But what's the definition?
What are we looking at here?
Right there.
Here, look what it is.
Where is it?
I love it.
They're using – Could that be Wisconsin though? It's the definition? What are we looking at here? Right there. Here, look what it is. Where is it? I love it. They're using –
Could that be Wisconsin, though?
It's the Ohio State game.
Oh, that's very, very close.
But look, so Big Cat, that's a red Nike swoosh.
What does that mean?
Oh, yeah, he returned to pick six.
And he's never –
Like, they say their attention to details,
everything about the game is how detailed it is.
Yeah, that is detailed.
You're saying that a true freshman that's never fucking played a snap in his career just picked sixth ohio state but
what's the definition what's the defamation um does defamation mean like
open and shut does it mean you're trying to like ruin someone's uh character i think you have to
prove that like they you hurt future earnings.
Would you say... What damages has this done to you?
I personally don't care. I get their truth.
Oh, wait. No, no. You have to answer that differently.
This is some bullshit, too.
The best damn band in the land.
And they said that
they're focusing
on the details of the game, and they went in
and you're telling me you missed the dotting
of the I? You're telling me that you've
got our band, colors, uniforms
incorrect? Oh, and there's no I.
Don't you think they just haven't done it yet?
Okay, go back to that screen. They showed in the video
dotting the I. Brandon,
you know college football. One more.
The one with the dotting of the I, please.
That one.
Okay, Brandon, if they just haven't
done it yet, where is it it where's the sousaphone player
on the o brand he finishes the o and he takes him out to the great point eight and i'm glad
you also said your business is gone i actually have one more tj can you go to the reply that
i had of that tweet my very next it's actually three tj I put something right under that.
Okay, this is while the band is playing on the field.
They've got Ohio State coaches signaling in plays while the game is not going on.
So it's one of two things.
Can I throw something at you?
Yeah.
What if that's members of the band staff signaling to the band?
No, they're coaches.
What if they're members of the band staff our
band no that doesn't look like members they're two those are coaches what i'm saying is that
you brought either either ea sports needs to say yeah we missed details here and our game sucks
or that is literally a joke about connor stallion stealing ohio state signs tate if you fuck around
with this game i kind of wanted how to win a defamation case. Step one,
declared an open shut case.
Step two,
look up the definition of defamation.
Ask what exactly it is.
Figure out what it is.
Say you really don't care.
Yeah.
That's three.
Yeah.
Say it really doesn't bother me.
I did say I'm not overreacting because.
No,
I think you've,
I think you're right.
I think everything's right.
And to have you get rid of this game again.
I do have lawyers saying like, here's your options. And they do think that they, that And have you get rid of this game again. I do have lawyers saying, like, here's your options,
and they do think that I have a case.
Okay.
I love it because he's not wrong.
Like, I do think the guy, like, makes these decisions as a guy.
Because when the initial trailer hit, there was, like,
one split second of Ohio State.
There was, like, nothing.
And then there were a bunch of clips where Ohio State was made to look bad.
So I don't think you're
wrong. I think he did do that on purpose.
But this is hilarious
that he's not. And I'm on to him.
Yeah, get him. Do it.
I want to see you see this through.
But if you do delay the game,
we will beat the
fucking shit out of you. But you said your business is
gone, so you're not playing it?
I'm not purchasing it.
Is that who you were on the
phone with when I passed you this morning?
Maybe.
You were like an aggressive
phone call. I owe you an apology. I was in a tough
phone call talking defamation
and maybe you tried to stop me. Oh my
God. That's great. I love this
story. Respect. Keep going Adam.
Do you have any advice on the lawyer front?
Don't.
Get one?
I have a couple, but people are saying you should try and get Dave's dad,
but Dave's dad is.
Wait, isn't Ben Mintz's dad a lawyer?
We're not doing that.
Let's pull him in.
We're not doing that.
That could be good.
That's good.
That could be good.
I need to tell y'all.
Is he on WUM?
His dad? No, he hasn't he on WUM? His dad?
No, he hasn't been on WUM yet, but his sister was.
I met his sister and his brother-in-law this morning.
No kidding.
Yeah.
The loveliest, nicest, most genuinely nice people I've ever met in my life.
Is he the youngest?
I would hope not, but probably.
Happy 75th birthday to Ben, Mrs. Dad.
It isn't until August.
Oh.
What?
It isn't until August. And I What? It isn't until August.
And I said, and Mintz said, yeah, he came up for it.
This is a birthday celebration.
So I went ahead and told him happy birthday on Twitter.
And I said, what?
Oh, what?
Not until August.
But he told his dad happy birthday on Twitter.
Does his dad have a Twitter?
No, I don't think so.
But he just showed the picture of him and his dad at Bivette's last night.
Did he say that to Bivette's to get a free meal?
I wouldn't rule that out, but he did have the sister and the brother-in-law here.
Thank you, Tate.
I want to see you see this through.
Yeah, figure this out.
And I said, what about August?
Are you going to tweet about it then?
He said, he thought about it, and he said, no, I don't think I will.
So this is his dad's 75th birthday tweet two months in advance.
Okay.
I like it.
All right.
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Phil Knight turned 70, 75, 70?
And 75.
And he threw a basketball tournament for himself like four months before his birthday.
That's cool.
Never forget that.
No, 80.
PK 75.
Yeah.
PK 80.
PK 75.
75.
It was like a few years ago, right?
Yeah.
That was cool.
And then he walked out of the court and everyone was like,
please sing happy birthday to Phil Knight.
It was in November.
Yeah. And I was like, oh, damn, to Phil Knight. It was in November. Yeah.
And I was like, oh, damn, dude.
And I looked up his Wikipedia.
His birthday is like February 26th.
It's a power move.
Power move.
All right, TJ, you want to spin the wheel?
We have Brandon is in the Dingers Only League this year.
What?
Yeah.
Got the invite.
Got the call.
Oh, excuse me what what happened
to mousetrap uh it roan said take it off the wheel it's glue trap now yesterday during the
case race and then we called him yesterday to clarify and he said yes and then he put glue
trap on oh nice okay it's glue trap so now we're losing skin yeah ah yeah okay how will the glue
trap work
I don't
I don't think we should do that either
I think there's a way to get it off you without ripping it
and then you put your finger in it
so now your finger's just a glue
I can't wait to eat a toenail tomorrow
I'm just excited for the person's face
When they think they have it
We're all going to think we have it
Are you going to try to bite
If you get it bite into it or swallow it whole
Do you have to eat it
No I think you just gotta you win
Yeah yeah
No swallowing it
It will be like the cake the baby
The cake
And you get to keep the toenail
until next year.
$300
if you get the toenail. $300 if you get the toenail
and then you get to have it for the year
until my next birthday when we have another cake.
Yep.
That's good.
It's going to be great.
Happy 7th birthday.
His birthday is in August.
That is insane
That's crazy
Was it for the Sunday
It might have been
That's crazy
Absolutely crazy
And Ben was nice enough
To get his
Most freshly ironed shirt
I guess maybe
If you won't see him
Until August
No chance
You can't
He's down in the south
All the time
He sees him all the time And they're going to the Stones tonight at Soldier Field.
Yeah, for his birthday.
Yeah.
They're probably singing happy birthday to him.
Weather's going to be great.
I'm kind of jealous of going to an outdoor concert tonight.
It's not the sphere, though.
What are you doing tonight?
Not a goddamn thing.
Getting ready to probably pack in for vacation.
Love that.
Yep.
My daughter's here today waiting to leave with Caitlyn. She's going to fly down early. Love that. Yeah. My daughter's here today waiting to leave with Caitlin.
She's going to fly down early.
Love that.
Hell yeah.
Is anyone here next week?
No.
No shows.
No.
The whole office is closed.
I mean like
You going to be alone?
Like Chicago style.
I'll be in Michigan
so I'll be close.
I'm in Chicago
for the first half of the week.
If you need me, Mook,
do not call me.
Trying to link up?
Can we Okay. Alright, dickhead. We can still come in an hour. I'll be close. I'm in Chicago. If you need me, Mook, do not call me. Trying to link up?
Alright, dickhead.
I'll be an hour away, but do not call me. When have I ever called you?
Yeah, you've never.
I just want to let you know
I can be there for an emergency, but you better
not call me. That's something you don't have to say.
Tate's immediately on the phone over there.
Yeah, he's willing to deal with it.
No, Hank's doing a staycation, and so is Max.
So there'll be some boys around.
Okay.
Sure, Jack McCartney.
I'll be around first half of the week.
It's probably an elite week to be around.
Oh, it's great.
Staycation is so underrated.
Yeah.
You get to sleep in your own bed.
You think McCarthy's going to be around?
McCarthy's not?
He's going to Ibiza.
Oh.
Oh, Ibiza.
This guy can't do two days
without putting a pill in his mouth.
No, he's a hard worker.
Keeps his nose down.
Big's birthday. It's the act. It's the act.
Get your straws, yeah, style a tape for a while.
It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act.
Yeah, it's time to talk shop or do a Yankee swap. It's the act.
It's the act. Hey guys.
Lucas is in the chair tomorrow.
Please be nice to him.
And I'll see you after the break.
Love ya.
Bye.