The Yak - The Boys are Ready for Barbenheimer | The Yak 7-21-23
Episode Date: July 21, 2023NunyaYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up.
Hello.
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Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts.
Hats.
Hats.
Golf shirts.
I'm wearing my joggers right now.
I did a terrible job packing.
We have a thief in our midst.
What?
What?
What goes here?
A shoplifter or a thief?
I'm a shoplifter. Like a personnel thief, like a merch thief.
Oh, I've heard about, yeah, merch was scrambling yesterday to find. All that personnel thief. Like a merch thief. Oh, I've heard about that.
Merch was scrambling yesterday to find it.
In the merch closet?
Well, no.
Our own producers, maybe.
What?
Be your own.
Where'd you get those shades?
Those shades look familiar.
Oh.
What?
I found them on McCarthy's desk.
Those are your shades.
Those are Rico's and Michael Jordan's shades.
McCarthy sold those to TJ for $55?
Well, and also he got them verified on Instagram. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Whatever the value is in Quaaludes, that's usually
McCarthy's bargaining chips.
Hey, baby, you ever want to get verified?
Get verified?
He's risen up all over the place.
If we send him on the road, I'll forget it.
Yeah?
Game over? That's his line, yeah.
You want to get verified?
Well, okay.
You ever thought about getting verified on TikTok?
Gives him away like candy.
Dude, how was Drake?
Fucking awesome.
Pretty good at music.
He should probably stick with that career.
He do like his entire eras.
Yeah, he started.
It was like he Taylor Swifted it out, so he went from the beginning.
Oh, that's awesome.
And he would just give you
a little bit of a song.
Did he have a down year since 2008?
No.
Not really.
Literally, no.
He hasn't.
He's never slipped off.
He's never been not at the top of the mountain.
Yeah, like you know a guy
that's very successful
when the things that he gets made fun of
are like the corniest things.
Yeah.
Like, oh, he roots for every team.
Works too hard.
Oh, he sits.
What was that mmm about?
I'm not a Drake guy.
Oh.
Why?
You can't deny that he's been at the top of the mountain.
I think that that's more of like a sales and hits
and like those are more metrics.
I think rap's at its weakest point.
I heard you're also not a DJ's guy.
What does that mean?
I heard there was a big group that was there last night.
No invite to Rico.
Longer time.
Well, I'm saving up my one thing for Saturday night.
Here, I'll send it to...
I saw Tommy Smokes was fucking throwing napkins.
At DJ's?
Rico, you were there recently.
No.
Like, last year.
Yeah.
That was my one.
Okay, one.
He pops in.
Just lets everyone go.
Oh, yeah, I did go last year.
Yeah.
You were there at the same time as Rico?
Wrapped up, yeah.
I got, yeah, a family.
You were there?
I was there last year.
I went the last two years.
Okay.
He was there.
Was it fun?
Yeah, it's great.
He made a family member turn 21.
They got a bus.
He was like, can you come?
I'm like, all right, yeah, I'll go.
All these people were having a great time last night.
You were out there?
I was in a Twitter space talking about grassroots basketball.
Oh, okay.
So, yeah, that's basically fun for me, yeah.
Yeah, it's a different brand of fun, but it's
still fun. It was. Grassroots
basketball? Pretty much. Yeah, here
we go. This Saturday? Yeah, this Saturday.
Because you're leaving Sunday. Yeah.
Scroll down.
My schedule has nothing to do
with it. Give the whole thing. Joe
Ferugio's there. Right, there you go. Not attending.
Mad celebs.
Mad celebs. Is that angry celebs?
No, just mad.
We're bringing back mad.
Mad, okay.
Mad as in many.
Yeah.
How many girls celebs?
Mad heads.
Mad heads.
Mad heads.
Mad heads.
Oh, that was the best.
Who's up at Royal Oak right now for the cake?
Mad heads.
Mad heads.
You had to roll up there.
It's mad heads.
I get mad at my
friends for asking who's all there, but then
I would ask every single time too.
I saw a TikTok
recently claiming that as part of the
lexicon of the black community.
Who's all there? I'm a who's all there guy.
You're saying who's all there. Who's all there is an
anxiety guy. I'm firmly in the black.
Yeah, who doesn't want to be missing out.
No, it's like if so and so is
we want to know who's there to see how comfortable we'll be yeah uh yeah who's all there oh i do a
who's all there because i'm like like i do the when we're on the road like super bowl week i'll
be sitting in my hotel room and i'll be like oh yeah who's all going out and then the next day
be like you know so tell me everything about it like you just get like two minutes to just live vicariously through this now the an answer of who's all
there could be like someone in them and you would know the whole group based off it's like
wallace and them are there and you know all the dudes it's like a domino effect like if that
person's there then this person like oh yeah i don't think i've ever been the name i've always
been and then yeah you have that was i was gonna, when the guy's on the phone, he's giving the lineup.
Yeah, where you stack in the lineup.
You ever been with a crew?
You didn't get your name read out?
Like, well, we got Roan, KB, Big Cat, and then like a bunch of other guys.
KB's co-worker.
Yeah.
And they look at you and they're like, and they still don't say it.
I don't want to dissuade someone
from coming
by saying your name.
A lot of people.
The guys.
So Drake was sick though.
I mean he's fucking
he's awesome.
He's just
he's such a good singer.
I don't know if you guys
saw the moment though
he like
everyone was throwing
bras on stage
and then someone threw
a vape up on stage
and he like stopped the show.
He was like
you gotta be fucking kidding me
if you think I'm gonna
hit vape with you in the middle of Barclays, like you're an
unserious person.
He said, I'm going to hit vape with you.
He didn't say hit vape, I don't think, but he was like, if you think I'm going to share
your vape at Barclays, you need to reassess your life.
Is he doing a full tour?
He's doing seven dates in New York.
He's doing a full tour.
Yeah.
Across the country?
Yes.
He was already in Chicago.
I think Hank was at
Oh yeah yeah
that's right.
He doesn't have to
postpone any either
to sell them out.
They're all sold out
apparently.
As opposed to
a little baby.
Nah he did that
10 years ago
Drake did.
Oh he postponed?
Lighting issues in Philly
because it wasn't
sold out.
Oh really?
Oh no.
My buddy's hard times.
Oh so he
Dehydration?
He has had low years.
He's still dehydration.
But that was probably
when Meek was beefing with him,
and the whole city was on shutdown.
Maybe.
They weren't letting him go anywhere.
I just kind of think he's a poor man's Ja Rule.
What?
I think he used girls in his songs, featuring early, got hot real hot,
and then he just kind of...
He has like a million hits.
So did Ja Rule, though.
I'm close to someone who's worked on Ja Rule's teeth.
Teeth?
He just got a new set?
I think I said too much.
I think you can always tell.
They're always like three sizes too big.
You'll grow into them.
That must suck being that famous and someone being like,
yeah, I know the person who's in Ja Rule's mouth.
Yeah, it is.
He talked about like that. He shaved his teeth down to nubs. in Ja Rule's mouth. Yeah, it is.
Shaved his teeth down to nubs.
That was a good story.
Someone in the office.
But Ja Rule, when he played at the 4th of July Macy's Day fireworks
thing, and he was like the main
act, he had a lot of hits.
He was going through a lot of hits.
He has another stranglehold that
Drake has on pop culture.
No, Drake would win a versus.
If they did a versus.
The rule's peak was the game test drive.
But he had four or six good songs.
When the world gets hot as July.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
When life gets hot as July, it's the world against you and I, him and Ashanti.
That was a fucking banger.
Different styles of rules.
Staten Island has one of the...
We had Iman.
Wu-Tang Clan, right?
Oh, Iman.
Oh, Iman.
We had Iman on the show.
Yeah, he's a big stoolie.
He used to listen to the act all the time.
What's the new song?
The Whoop-D song?
That guy's from Staten Island.
I don't know that one.
CJ?
Who?
Wu-Tang?
I don't even know that one.
Yeah, we did have Wu-Tang.
Wu-Tang was a little ahead of my time.
I didn't really listen to them. They were we did have Wu-Tang. Wu-Tang was a little ahead of my time. I didn't really listen to them as a kid.
They were good guys, though.
Growing up.
Shaolin.
Their Cribs is all time.
Or Method Man's Crib.
Yes.
Did you know that in a lot of Cribs, I learned this from listening to Robbie Fox's show.
Shout out to My Mom's Basement.
But he said that a lot of people on Cribs, for example, JoJo, went to her most affluent relative's house.
And they pretended it was their house.
So they go to the biggest house they could find.
A lot of people go to rentals.
Or they fake a house on Cribs.
Damn.
A lot of them weren't their houses.
But Method Man did it straight up.
He was like, yeah, this is my crib.
He's got the PlayStation on the floor.
Yeah.
Dollar box.
There's another guy passed out.
He's like, oh, that's Joey.
It's wild.
You could tell it was real.
Cribs isn't real?
That hurts.
That's brutal.
In my ride, too, there's a whole thing of how fake Pimp My Ride was.
Oh, you had to know those cars wouldn't.
I mean, when you put a fish tank in a car, that's probably not, you know.
A snowboard container.
It's not something you put 20,000 miles on a year.
MTV had a great run, though, like in that time when it was
Pimp My Ride, Jackass, and then Viva La Bam, and I think Wild Boys.
Those guys had like a strong.
And Robin Big.
Robin Big.
But was that in the Sunday night lineup?
Towards the end, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That Sunday night lineup was really, really good.
It was.
Was that all on Sunday?
I'm pretty positive.
I remember watching it.
I was catching it after school.
I was catching it.
Well, that reruns into the ground.
I still say MTV's host.
MTV's spring break was the best.
I want to do a podcast with him.
The best.
Yeah.
Like, as a co-host?
Yeah.
Who?
I like that for you.
I would like to do a show with him.
I like that for you.
Put it on your vision board.
I can make that happen for you.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah, it would kill me to do so. I don't want him as a guest on ours. I want to do a separate show a exhibit. I like that for you. Put it on your vision board. I can make that happen for you. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, it would kill me to do so.
I don't want him as a guest on ours.
I want to do a separate show
and we host.
Lisa's getting comfortable, huh?
Went out of sight.
Lisa sent me a name yesterday
for someone who could
potentially work at Parsley.
It was like...
That's what I'm saying.
Terrible idea.
Yeah, she's walking around like... She's about to'm saying. Terrible idea. She's walking around like...
She's about to start walking
around barefoot or something.
She's trying to cancel you, Kyle.
Really? She didn't show the part where
you introduced the pup to me.
I was all lovey-dovey
with the pup. I love the pup.
Lisa kills it, but yeah, I saw
that clip. She sucked it back on me while I was
streaking. Yeah, you stepped on a dog yesterday.
Creative editing.
Look at this.
See, I was terrified.
Did you just step on him?
I'm playing tennis.
Oh, my God.
Are you okay?
She wanted that.
She's filming.
That's what she was their goal was.
Did you just step on him?
I'm playing tennis.
Are you okay?
That had big mom teenager kid energy. Did you just step on him? Mom, I'm playing tennis. Are you okay? That had big mom teenager kid energy.
Mom, I'm playing tennis.
I have my big tennis match.
Even the notes of what she said.
Did you just step on him?
Kyle, did you step on the dog?
Mom, I told you.
Playing tennis.
I have Wii Tennis every afternoon.
Did you end up losing that game?
That was terrible.
The Wii's back. I saw all Tennis every afternoon. Did you end up losing that game? That was terrible. Hey, the Wii's back.
I saw all the boys playing Wii last night.
And still.
Yeah.
They pulled an all-nighter.
Still going for it.
It'd be crazy if we streamed that or something.
Hmm.
That wouldn't make any sense.
Just let the folks have fun at work.
Yeah, let them just play the games.
Let folks have fun at work.
Yeah.
Did you guys see... We were talking about the other day,
the people who accidentally own themselves online,
like a super woke take.
I have a new favorite one.
Did you see this one?
The Kylie Clarkson move?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, right, exactly.
They are Osborne, Jesus Christ.
Sorry, Clarkson.
Clarkson would never.
This woman had a thread about Oppenheimer,
and it is a part of the story I didn't realize.
I haven't seen the movie yet, but she was like,
did you know that they took away the indigenous land to do the nuclear test,
like ran all these guys off their land,
and then they hired them back
and didn't give them protection.
They all died from radiation.
And it's bullshit that this story like gets talked about like she did a whole thread about this about these people who died they were building a nuclear bomb
that killed like 200 000 people no lady i i have some bad news for you but the bomb was probably
that's the tip of the iceberg.
Who did we use it on?
These poor farmers.
Then we went and killed a lot of people.
I thought she was saying that about the Hollywood set.
No, she was saying about the actual Manhattan Project.
You better be making movies about it.
Yeah, it's like...
Wait till you find out where this bomb was dropped.
Yeah.
And what it did.
Yeah. Who did we what it did. Yeah.
Who did we use it on?
Japan.
Are you serious?
He's quizzing us.
Oh, okay.
Keeping us sharp.
You know about the guy who, there was a guy who was at both Japan bombings?
Nagasaki and Hiroshi?
Yeah.
Damn.
Did you know the bomb didn't also hit the ground?
What?
No.
No, they detonated it in the air
Oh
I had no idea
I didn't know that either
A thousand feet in the air
On purpose?
Yeah, because then it goes down
So that would be more destructive
Yeah
That was naughty
It was bad
That was pretty
It was pretty naughty
Well, it worked
They beat that entirely, though, the Japanese.
Like Eastern Europe or wherever, Ukraine, they haven't.
Culturally, you mean?
Japanese, they're perfect.
It did something to the water, because then they're just like,
that happened, they rebuilt, and they're like,
all our cartoons have big fucking titties now.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah, you gotta go see Opera.
Three hours long.
I don't have it.
I think I'm using my three hours on Flowers Moon.
Killers of the Flower Moon.
What?
Killers of the Flower Moon comes out later in the year.
It's supposed to be just a really good movie as well,
and it's really long.
You don't want to use both?
You only have three hours.
I don't think I have three hours in me.
I agree with that.
It's your longest mask.
How is the Easter visuals in Staten Island?
Oh, no.
Palm Sunday is the worst.
Palm Sunday.
Palm Sunday is a fun one.
What's the one where they wash everyone's feet, though?
That one fucking takes a minute.
We never did that.
We never washed feet.
You don't do that.
But you got the palm to fiddle around with.
The one before.
Yeah, but you got.
It's tough.
No, what's tough is you get a lot of PNA Catholics, as we call them.
They only show up for palms and ashes, so the place is packed out.
You're sitting there.
It's hot.
It's long.
They go through the whole Stations of the Cross.
It's tough.
Stations of the Cross takes forever.
I know.
Just die already.
Come on, man.
We know how it ends.
Exactly.
How long is it?
Forever.
Too much time to commit.
I mean, Oppenheimer's, I would never sit down
and be like, I'm going to watch something
for the next three hours.
What do you think was worse?
On a Sunday or something?
Christ our Savior dying or the atomic bomb being dropped?
Ooh.
I guess it depends who you're asking.
I'm asking you, brother.
Oh.
Specifically you, Nick.
I mean, I think you just, hmm.
I think it's a numbers game.
Go Christ the Savior.
The one and only.
Yeah.
No winning that.
Not for all of us.
Yeah, the...
That Palm Sunday mess is fucking long, too.
Long, bro.
That shit is a little bit too much.
But the one where you go outside, everybody lights the candles off each other?
We don't do that either.
We do that.
Oh, dude, we have all the activities.
That was a blast.
I don't know.
They're like stacking on activities.
Washing feet, lighting candles, getting absolutely bukkake-ed by the fucking sprinkle thing.
Oh, I felt so good.
I was like a guy going for a foul ball trying to get a droplet.
Zach Hample at church. Yeah,
that's how it was. We got a new thing where
the priest sings everything.
Oh, yeah. The homily.
10% of it.
And right away, my dad's like, oh,
Jesus Christ, we got the fucking singing priest again.
It's time in it.
My mom's like, stop, stop.
The power of God.
Yeah, it's tough. It's crazy how those things just make you so tired. It's like in it My mom's like Stop stop I've seen the power of God Yeah it's tough Crazy how those things
Just make you so tired
It's like going to museums
Yeah
The minute you walk into a museum
Things are yawned out of you
You're just like
Your feet
Your legs get heavy
And in high school
Like fresh
Eighth grade
Freshman year of high school
I would
Like I lived up in
My bedroom was in the attic
I would purposely try to stay
Up there
Not go to the bathroom
Because if you went down on a Sunday morning
based off the time, my parents would be like,
oh, you're up. We're going to Mass.
You didn't want to go.
You were just basically like Kevin McAllister getting stuck
in the attic. Trying to. We were an 1130
household and you're not allowed to eat before communion
so I was hungry. I was fucking
starving. 1130? You're born hungry in church.
That must have been hungover.
Did you guys have the one chalice or did you have the little shot glasses of wine? One chal buddy. 11.30. Hungry in church. That must have been hungover. Did you guys have the one chalice, or did you have the little shot glasses of wine?
One chalice.
Okay.
I switched churches.
I went from a shot glass church to a-
What the hell is a shot glass church?
It's a bunch of little disposable plastics, and you got your own cup.
Yeah, the little plastic ones.
My best switch up was going to the hospital one.
Short.
It was like 10 minutes.
Yeah.
Everyone's about to die. Don't have the time. When did you go to the hospital one. Short. It was like 10 minutes. Yeah. One's about to die.
Don't have the time.
When did you go to the hospital?
Once I got my license.
Did you have to go?
I had to go.
Okay, so you just were like, I'm going to find the shortest one.
I skipped a couple times to go to Sheetz.
It's very funny.
You could have just lied.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, no, I was afraid of lying.
Were you getting quizzed?
Yeah, like they asked, what was the homily about?
Also, God's watching.
Mm-hmm, that too.
You saw your ass at Sheetz.
You guys hear about the four nuns waiting to get into heaven?
Oh, what happened?
St. Peter meets them with a bowl of water and a crystal ball.
And he's like, hey, you've all lived a good life.
You know, just tell me your sins.
I'll ask you a couple of questions, and we'll let you you in so the first one's like uh he goes you know sister uh
sister mary what did uh what have you ever done with a penis she goes father i can't lie i looked
at one he looks at his little crystal ball he's like all right she's telling the truth wash your
eyes let you in second one what'd you do with a penis sister married joseph uh what'd you do i i
can't lie father i touched it He looks at his crystal ball.
He's like, all right.
Wash your hands.
You go right in.
Just as the second one's walking in, the fourth one cuts in front of the third one because
they all grew up in the minor league system.
The nuns, they all serve together.
Yeah.
So you know everything.
Fourth one cuts in front of the third one.
St. Peter's like, whoa, what are you doing?
She goes, there's no way.
I'm washing my mouth in that water after she washes her ass in it.
Holy fuck.
That's a good one.
That's a true story.
It's a true story, yeah.
It happened.
Do you have mean-ass nuns as your teachers growing up?
We had a few.
We had one sister, Mary Mark.
This was bad.
She had a big turkey neck, like real turkey neck.
She would scream at everybody.
Frank Beaver neck. It was everybody yeah and uh it was bad oh it was bad it was bad and we were with a bunch of kids like one new year's eve and like uh
i had i was you know i had a bunch of a bunch in me and i started a rumor that she had she had died
i was like oh the sister mary mark were like toasting shots and then like sent a text to a
bunch of people and somebody texted me back, like, that used to work.
I think it was my friend's mom that, like, worked in the school and was like, hey, did you?
She's alive.
I was like, oh, yeah.
Like, I tried to blame it on somebody else.
It was a miracle.
It was really bad.
It was, like, really bad.
And we had a nun.
They would just give these nuns jobs.
Sister Joanella was the nurse.
She was not qualified to practice medicine.
You could have a knife in your head or a stomachache.
She'd be like, oh, lay down, have some water, and that was it.
Oh, yeah.
The woman couldn't speak.
I was the oldest in my family, so my dad came to eighth grade graduation.
He was like, is this a fucking SNL skit?
The woman was horrible.
Horrible singer.
She taught music in the school.
They had no skills. None was a principal. taught music in the school. They had no skills.
None was a principal. She was three feet
tall. They were small.
They shrunk. Sister Kathleen was
four, maybe.
Oh my god. She was
a penguin.
Do you think that was a conscious decision?
I'm four-four. I'm not going to have a regular
life. Might as well be a nun.
She was the meanest. Back in the day, you used to hit them. My dad would send horror stories. Yeah. Might as well be a nun. He was the meanest.
Back in the day,
you used to hit them.
My dad would send horror stories.
They'd hit them with rulers and shit. Oh, yeah.
Couldn't do it.
I think they got softer
as the time went on,
but they're going to run out, right?
Half.
Yeah, it's going to be N-O-N-ing.
Who's signing up to be a priest?
Who's signing up to be a nun?
They're going to have to open up.
Oh, you know who's doing it
is gay guys, to be honest.
Yeah.
Gay guys are going to start being nuns.
They should.
They should let them. They're seeing how easy gay guys, to be honest. Yeah. Gay guys are supposed to be nuns. They should. They should let them.
They're seeing how easy it is to get dick.
It's easy to get caught, but they're willing to gamble.
Yeah, that's all they have.
There was a mean nun in my grade school, and they put her in the basement,
but she had incredible hearing.
She could hear if anybody was even a little bit faster than a walk.
Dude, she'll come out of her office, Sister Teresa.
Hair length.
She was 6'3", though.
She was fucking towering.
Like running the Yankees.
And she didn't walk.
She floated, dude.
She would just drift.
Unbelievable.
I can't believe nuns are a part of our society.
It's just such a hilarious little addition that we have.
I said they're mean as hell is the funniest part.
That's the tough part with like pre-Cana.
It's like go to this eight-hour thing, and this priest is going to tell you how to live your life.
It's like he's at every meal accounted for.
Yeah, right.
They're just freeloaders.
Yeah, exactly.
You're going to tell me what's going on?
Don't get taxed.
Could a nun go to like O-Block without getting robbed?
I don't know what their stance is.
Physically?
What's their fighting stance?
Southpaws?
I'm just laughing about Frank Beamer's neck.
Sister Mary Malk talks to sixth grade men.
Highlight of the game.
It was brutal.
It's got to be the most famous neck in the world?
It has to be.
I think.
Frank Beamer? Some of the best games of my life,
like Virginia Tech versus WVU, VT versus Miami,
and then his neck.
Neck, yeah.
Sideline.
Who has a more famous neck?
Oh, boy.
I'm trying to think.
That's a pretty standard.
Yeah, everyone's got it.
Keough Spikes.
Yeah, there's not a lot of variations on that.
Keough Spikes has the thickest. Him and Urlacher. That's a good one, yeah. everyone's got it. Yeah, there's not a lot of variations on neck. Keo Spikes has the thickest Him and Erlacher.
That's a good one, yeah.
The packing.
Zlesny as well, right?
Oh, yeah.
Zlesny had no neck.
He was just...
It was crazy.
It was shoulders.
He looked like a Lego, yeah.
The cats with the holes from smoking.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
Our African sisters who have the elongated...
Oh, the rage wretch.
Yeah, the stretch neck.
There should be a filter on your TV.
Remember those old smoking commercials
when the woman had the...
And all that horrible shit?
If you never smoked,
you should be able to get those commercials off your TV.
Yeah.
If you don't want to...
When I start smoking, I would be like,
oh, there's nothing bad about it.
There's no downside.
That's a good point.
It kind of actually, like...
They always cream it.
They did a pretty good job of stopping smoking.
Yeah, they just...
It's vapes. It's vapes.
It's vapes now.
Smoking digs kind of shifted it out.
Did you guys have the dipping commercial where the dad gave his son a dip while hunting?
No.
Showed a jawless man?
Oh, no.
That's the worst thing to lose.
It was a pamphlet, too.
It was a guy with just no jaw.
You recognize a jawless person like that.
In the UK on cigarettes, they like put the images on a box.
That shit is nasty.
Or all of Europe probably.
The cowboy.
Remember the cowboy?
Oh, yeah.
Like all the cool pictures.
Joe Cool, yeah.
A guy at a deli.
Like, you know how you get the free samples when you work or something like that?
They gave a camel Joe like lunchbox or something.
The guy was like, here, kid.
My dad was like, yeah, okay, thanks.
The minute we got outside, give me that.
Right in the fucking trash.
He goes, you see this fucking thing?
He's like, right in the trash.
It's funny they put a cartoon on it.
Yeah.
That's what they were doing.
For the coolest cowboy.
He was a sick mascot.
Pull him up.
He was a sick mascot.
They knew what they were doing.
His name's Joe Cool.
Yeah.
Sick.
Camel Joe or whatever.
Yeah, it's got to be the peak of camels.
Never been cooler.
Is that the coolest mascot ever?
I think Sally would have something to say about that.
What?
Is that the coolest mascot ever, Joe?
The camel.
Yes.
I mean, look at this guy.
Look at the head, the one with the leather jacket.
Holy shit.
He looks like he's in the backpack.
You could have a sex tape leak.
Damn.
Yeah, I was trying to think of something better.
It's hard.
Oh, man.
Yeah, he was the coolest.
Hey, Mike, from Advantage Point.
Oh, no.
Joe Kimo.
Oh.
Scroll back up.
Damn.
Yeah, but you know what?
Joe Kimo.
Still gets close to his the eyes and he's got
some stories yeah got some memories you're telling me we can't recreate that look at this dude
oh man the eye casinos oh my games that's incredible joe camo what a g he's way cooler
than tony the tiger is joe ass dude oh nerd. Beat it. I'm going to play soccer. I'm going to smoke this cigarette on my motorcycle.
Coolest mascot.
Who got phased out was the honeycomb guy that was always, it seemed like he was on fucking speed.
When ADD came out, the honeycomb guy got phased out.
We can't have him be a role model.
This motherfucker's on speed.
Oh, yeah.
Taz got phased out, and Taz was the best.
And the girl mascot.
Taz is on.
Oh, the bunny?
I would say. A lot of dead bodies.
Aunt Jemima used to be.
Aunt Jemima used to be until she's not.
We got girl mascots?
This is Butterworth.
Not anymore.
Yeah.
She got Bantu.
She got Gut.
Damn.
They really weren't.
Mascots should be guys.
They got rid of the Apple Jacks mascots.
Oh, the cinnamon?
Yeah, the cinnamon sticks.
Why?
Is it insensitive?
He's just scary.
They were like Jamaican.
Wait, that's old as fuck.
Do you have any?
I'm pretty sure they phased out these guys.
Give me female mascots.
Little Debbie.
Oh, you
know who's got one?
The baby on the
fucking suntan lotion. That wasn't a
baby, though. That's like a weird image.
That's like the exposed butt of a girl's butt.
Gerbers? No, no, no. The suntan
lotion. A little sum of white
hanging out. Right. Which is like
who's the artist of that?
What perverse Hollywood executivewood executive is is drawing
that up has ever seen your fall to count the i think it's like mascots in serious moments it's
the best oh no mascots standing in like for the national anthem and shit oh that's a mascots are
the best whenever they have to do something yeah shedding a mascot at my funeral that'd be awesome which one who do you hope for
we could have Bucky
Bucky the Badger
yeah
Benny the Bull
Bucky the Badger
Benny the Bull just dumping
fucking popcorn
on my
she just fills up your
basket
knocking your casket
over with the
popcorn
that would be funny
popcorn
yeah they're like
packing peanuts
put me down under
a plunger on your head
and toss rings on it.
All guys hate when a mascot rubs their head.
Oh, yeah.
They have to love it.
The Philly Fanatic abuses dudes.
And I've heard talk show radio guys be like,
enough with the rubbing the bald guy.
They do kill bald guys.
It is a mean thing to do to a bald guy.
Yeah.
I'm surprised the players, you ever see when the mascot thinks they're in on it and they're
like dapping them up or rubbing their shoulder like pregame?
Bro, if I was a player, I'd be like, fucking get him out of here.
You're not in the huddle.
I don't think I've ever touched a bald head.
You want a high five after a touchdown?
Okay.
You've never touched a bald head?
Never touched a bald head.
It is a very mean thing to do to a bald man.
Similar to Dana.
Dana and I do it to each other.
We flick each other's tits.
That drives me nuts.
Nasty move.
How'd you get into that then?
He did it and then I did it and then we...
Now it's a secret handshake?
Yeah.
There was a skinny dude with tits at the bathhouse yesterday.
Oh, yeah?
Like fat tits?
No, yeah, it was weird.
Respect.
Super skinny and just big tits?
He was cool with it, yeah.
He had to have lost a ton of weight or something.
I don't know what it was.
Huh.
At the bathhouse?
It was like a sugar daddy situation, like adjacent though.
He was like 45, she was like 25. What did it smell like? Co-ed bathhouse? It was like a sugar daddy situation, like adjacent though. Like he was like 45, she was like 25.
What did it smell like?
Co-ed bathhouse?
Interviewing her the whole time.
Co-ed bathhouse?
Where do the Russian dudes with the tiny dicks go?
Right next to the women.
Oh, okay.
What do you walk, what do you have sandals on?
They give you sandals?
They give you sandals.
That's a little weird.
That's a funny reply.
Is there like a restaurant?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's one in Chicago like that.
That's like just big Russian dude.
I got a fine.
Huge bellies just whipping each other with trees.
Yeah, that's what it is.
Yeah.
Makes you feel good.
It does.
I'm addicted.
You get the cold tub?
Always. It's too,'m addicted. You get the cold tub? Always.
It's too, it's been way too warm.
I kind of want to get into the cold tub.
Crazy.
You should, yeah.
Dude, I have a problem with my cold showers, and I hope someone can help me, but it's making
my towels smell bad.
Oh, that's.
Oh.
Maybe you're not washing your towels?
Oh, we're washing them just way more frequently now, though.
But it's like going from cold to warm.
I wonder what that is.
You're doing cold showers?
Yeah.
Yeah, he does.
I like a little cold blast at the end in the summer.
I'm such a pussy.
I always do hot showers.
I like a little cold blast at the end.
I give myself a little shock right out.
Do you do a little scream?
No, you have to be as calm as possible.
Because if you're like through it, you're like training your body to be a little bitch.
You've got to be like eating this shit.
Light work.
Phasing out.
Yeah.
It is fun to switch that.
You ever do that to like.
Someone else?
Girlfriend or roommate.
Yeah.
And they're like doing shampoo
and you're just
switching
no worse feeling
that is deadly
yeah
one of my favorite
prank videos
is the dude
fucking trying to
rub his hair outside
and the guy
coming over the top of him
that's great
it's one of the few
successful pranks
that guy must have lost his mind
he was panicked
I want to see it
it was pure panic
you never saw that one? no I want to see it I need to see it I was going to try to tell me it's fake and mind. I want to see it. It was pure panic. You never saw that one?
No, I want to see it.
I need to see it.
I was going to try to tell me it's fake and I don't want to hear it.
I don't want to hear it.
I don't care.
That's a funny prank.
Did you see the guy who fell asleep at the WNBA game?
Yes.
That's an unfunny prank.
I didn't see that.
Yeah, at the Sky game.
Yeah.
What's that one?
It shows Jerry's hero.
He bought four tickets courtside and went to
sleep at the game.
He wore PJs with a
long hat.
He had the candle.
I don't know if that's
true.
Basically, though.
Stupid.
Freaking stupid.
Respect our...
Stupid.
I'm going to go to
every Chicago Sky game.
Nice.
I had season tickets.
I'm going to change
my handle with my
Twitter name with
their record.
Nice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can you bring a notebook and write down some sets?
Like for comedy?
No.
Oh, well then no.
Like sets like... Like a nice little out-of-bounds play.
Hammer set.
Oh, no, no.
They know better than I.
Who am I to go in there and...
You go pick up game from them.
They pick it up.
Did you guys see Kale, who works for us,
was playing pick-up hoops with Adam Sandler and Timothee Chalamet?
No, but I did see they were in New York, yeah.
Timothee Chalamet?
Yeah, Chalamet, trying to ball.
The funniest part of the photo.
Did you notice this, the cover photo of the post?
Did you notice what was on the ball?
No.
A.S. in permanent marker, like he's a fucking sixth grader in the park he's got his
ball i i know he can't he can't lose another ball intention adam sandler's worried about his ball
he's oh but don't start hating on him you're about to start hating on me road i'm skating
intentional if you have a good ball i agree with you yeah i can't let that ball also a ball needs
to get broken in you get a new basketball it's the worst so I guess. But I can just see the visual of a little kid.
It happens to go and he's shooting.
He's at the end when Adam Salen's leaving.
He's like, I need my bowl back.
It's like, pretty sure you could buy another one.
I don't know how Cale.
So, Cale works on the second floor.
He does a bunch of Stella Blue stuff.
And I have to, like, Chalamet put one in his eye.
He just didn't fight through a screen.
I got to see Chalamet play. Chalamet was wearing Dickie's sweatshirts, too. I'm fouling the fuck out, Chalamet put one in his eye. He just didn't fight through a screen. I got to see Chalamet play.
Chalamet was wearing Dickie's sweatshirts, too.
I'm fouling the fuck out of Chalamet.
I'll tell you that for a fact.
I'm, like, smacking across his arms.
He's getting too cocky.
You think so?
I'm walking down the street like a cartoon bully.
Really?
What, is he pounding his fist?
No, he just is.
Where's Chalamet?
Look at this.
Kale is Chalamet's defender right there in the pink shorts,
and he just, come on, dude. Fight through a screen. Which one. Kale is Chalamet's defender right there in the pink shorts. Come on, dude.
Fight through a screen.
Which one is Kale?
Kale's the one in the salmon shorts.
I need to see that again.
You got to let him get one off.
Come on.
No, call that.
That's a moving screen, first of all.
100%.
Which would have been hilarious if you called it moving screen and pick up.
Oh, Sandler's soaked, huh?
Yeah. This is cool. But, K Sandler's soaked, huh? Yeah.
This is cool.
McHale, come on, dude.
Damn.
Chalamet, pretty nice form.
God damn.
I'd pick his pocket, though.
You see that dribble?
It's too high.
He's tiny, too.
You put the belly on him.
It's too high.
Sandler just loving ball is sick.
That would have been sick to play in that.
KB thinks he's getting too cute writing shit on his ball. How did he get involved?
Did he tell you? Is that his regular run?
I don't know. Did he know where he was?
I don't know.
Crazy.
Yeah, what neighborhood
was that? I don't know.
Was it West 4th? It looked like West
4th. Where I live. What? No, it wasn't.
Let me see. Let me see.
Yeah, that looked like the... That's not Westforth.
That's not the back courts of it?
No.
I don't think so.
Yeah.
Huh.
Yeah, Chalamet's got a nice little jumper.
That's, you know, pure follow through.
Did you guys see the guy who tried to rob an Uber driver and then jumped off the FDR and like just it was
one of the worst.
Yeah.
This footage.
Yeah.
No.
I don't want less.
It's another one of those stupid algorithms like crazy clips.
I like that one.
The guy.
The guy.
There was like three old women walking by and he just like fell in like fell from the
sky right in front of me.
He was pretty badly injured.
Yeah, look at this.
Look at this guy.
He just robbed the Uber.
So he did rob.
Yeah, and he was trying to get away.
Oh, fuck.
Why would he do it on the bridge?
Oh!
Oh, shit!
There's just people.
I thought you meant into the water.
These three women are like, what the fuck?
Well, that's just a compound fracture waiting to happen.
I think he's got more than that.
He's got to be concussed, too.
He tried to get up.
The ice cream man does not help.
Yeah.
You see that one of the guys trying to rob a nail salon and no one could be bothered?
Look at it.
He tried to get up.
He's like, Oh, shit.
I'm fucked.
What was his plan there?
I have no idea.
Did he have a rope?
He must not know the neighborhood.
He must not have realized that they got onto a highway.
I mean, there's a small possible success there.
You jump down and catch on to the fence.
You know what I'm saying?
That would hurt really bad.
I don't know.
It's here.
Jump down and then hope you get far enough where it's completely above you and you grab on.
I don't know.
Your hands would just go fast.
I don't know.
That didn't work out.
Just run along the highway or something.
Yeah.
Wait, you haven't seen this one?
The nail salon one?
Wait, is it the guy?
Nobody blogged it.
I was too late to it.
They just didn't move.
It was awesome. They go in in the nail salon and they just couldn't be bothered. Dude, one of them just leaves. I was like, give it the guy? Somebody blogged it. I was too late to it. They just didn't move. It was awesome.
They go in in the nail salon and they just couldn't be bothered.
Dude, one of them just leaves.
Give me the money.
And the woman, even one woman in the front kind of goes like this.
Excuse me?
It's so embarrassing.
This lady like skirts by him and like works her way out of the door.
It's fucking nuts.
Everybody get down.
Give me all your money. It's got nuts. Everybody get out! Get out of the money!
Get out of the money!
Get out!
Where's the money?
You just picked up the phone and said hello?
No, I think
the woman did it.
Where's the money?
The lady's just like, fuck you.
Does he have no gun?
Just leaves.
Oh my god, he left.
It's kind of sad.
God damn it, man.
What the fuck?
I can't even rob right.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, man.
That's hilarious.
He definitely cried after that.
There's no doubt of my man.
That man cried.
Some other maniac on Staten Island had like a fucking huge machete or something.
Clem sent it to me.
It hit like the New York Post or something.
Did he rob something?
What?
Did he rob something?
Yeah, he had like a huge machete robbing something.
It's crazy.
What's with the people just sitting in the lobby now?
That's their spot.
It's the new spot. I don't like that.
Do or do not. I don't.
When you walk in and a bunch of people are sitting,
you feel like you're walking into something.
I think it's to put off
the cool, laid-back demeanor of the office.
You walk in, you see people lounging.
Hey, come on in. Working. I think it's interns, too, who don't feel comfortable enough sitting in the bowanor of the office. You walk in, you see people lounging. Hey, come on in. Working.
I think it's interns too who don't feel comfortable
enough sitting in the
bowels of the office.
He works his ass off.
Glazing him crazy.
Yeah, that was
a little too much boys.
Kyle likes him more
than I do honestly.
There you go.
He's a beast.
Kyle, you're dressed nice.
Golfer, huh?
Guess so.
Got inspired.
By who?
That video yesterday.
What one?
Oh, the...
You're trying to get protested?
I want to go undercover and protest.
Oh, the guys at...
You see that?
The Hamptons?
Yeah, they should be like,
throw down your clubs, brothers.
Join us.
That's how they could really flip everyone.
I did like they had enough knowledge to be like, this is how you shoot?
Shot like that?
Yeah, they were trolling the fuck out of them.
I just turned around and fired one at them.
Big Cat, today's your last day.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Holy shit.
I don't like goodbyes, though.
I mean, well, because we're going to do another last week.
Yeah, that doesn't mean anything. I don't like goodbyes, though. I mean, well, because we're going to do another last week. Yeah.
That doesn't mean anything.
Take it back.
It doesn't mean anything.
Do you want anything special, though, for your last day of living in New York?
I do.
No.
What was the move like yesterday?
Socks.
Sweaty.
Socks.
A lot of stuff.
A lot of stuff.
Also, just, it's just, even if you pay, like, I paid for everything, but it's still, there's
just shit.
You paid people to box it?
Yeah.
Whoa.
So I should probably do that, too.
I'll give you the movers, Stoolie, who has a great moving company.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Piece of cake?
They do a really good job, but it's still, like, even though you pay for that,
they're still, like, giving some stuff away, so I still ended up having to, like, move a bunch of shit.
I can't complain, though.
But it's just a day of that.
No matter what you're – even if you're paying someone else to do it, it's tedious.
Yeah, no matter what, moving sucks.
No matter what, I should have done –
How do you think the ultra-rich billionaires do it?
That's what I should have done.
To leave and it just shows up at your new house?
I think you have an assistant. Yeah, I think you have an assistant who runs it. That's what I should have done. To leave and it just shows up at your new house. I think you have an assistant
who runs it.
You go on vacation
and then you get your new house and it's set up.
Yeah. And then you complain about
anything. Right.
I should have done that. One of my favorite rituals was
just having too much anxiety
of the move. Like this is too much.
And you lay down. Like you fold all your clothes
on the bed and you move a little bit and you just take a nap yeah when i wake up i'll be in a better spot yeah
right now i can't handle this you have to eat pizza yeah i have to eat pizza oh i've been
eating crushing pizza i think i hate moving enough to where if my like financial situation
even grew a ton i would probably just ride it out in this apartment. Yeah.
Like Dave, no chance Dave's moved.
He's put shit in boxes and stuff.
There's no chance. He's definitely just
had everything set up. Who's doing that, Daniela?
I think so. I should have done
You could have
probably got someone. Should have had my boy
Should have had Billy do it. Oh, Billy would have
been a disaster. He would have done it himself.
I thought you didn't want all your stuff.
Yeah.
I thought I could have your stuff.
Jerry's coming to get the TVs tonight.
Is he?
Yeah, Rico, there's one with your name on it.
Yeah, no, Jerry, we've had conversations.
Jerry has said multiple times, remember that you're the second dog.
You'll get what I take you. You'll get what you take second dog. You'll get what I take you.
You'll get what you take.
What?
You'll get what I give you.
That's what he's saying to me.
There's an allotment of TVs, and Jerry thinks he's getting all of them.
I'm going to help whatever I come up with and come up with.
You'll get a TV.
Yeah.
What kind of inch situation are we talking to?
What's the smallest?
I need a new one.
Oh, yeah.
I need a new one for my bedroom.
Yeah, there's a bedroom one.
You looking for a 50?
Nah, I don't need a crazy one.
I'm kind of set.
I have my other one set up.
It'd be nice to have a couple of backups in case they go out.
I got two 32s and a 55.
I guess I could maybe trade out the 55.
75 and a couple 50s.
A couple real small guys for the office
Like
27s
How did that work with your cable company?
Did they have to wire it to places?
I am personally
Keeping cable alive
Yeah I feel the same way but I want to start
Putting them in places they don't belong
And it's like can I wire cable into my bathroom?
Yeah you can
They have new ones where you don't even need it's like you get one and then
you can have two that basically it's like wi-fi oh really yeah i didn't know about that yeah i
have cable i'm still a cable guy i need the live shit are you a spectrum you have spectrum so
no free ads if you get a certain company that rhymes with, like, Boku.
Yeah.
You get the Spectrum app, and it's a free cable box. Oh, that's true.
That's true.
That's the way I do it.
But the Spectrum app is, like, three seconds behind the game, though.
But when you look at what you have, like, you're getting a free box.
That's massive.
Right there.
That's what I have in my thing.
I'm like, it's easier to do that.
Having the Spectrum app on the phone is incredible.
You can change the – yeah, with cable watch you just watch the shit on your phone.
Oh, yeah.
Home run.
Home run.
You get red zone on there, too.
Incredible.
Had to get the NFL app, too.
I need so many apps.
Yeah.
I was about to buy a fucking plant app.
That's what I knew.
You were out of plant app.
Like that tells you if the plants alive like or like what you need to do to to like save the plant. What? The plant app? Like, that tells you if the plant's alive? Or, like, what you need to do to, like, save the plant?
What the fuck?
Like, $40.
I'll do that.
Buy a spider plant, buy a bird of paradise.
Yeah.
That's when I knew Dan was out of control.
Like, he was like, he goes, I have MLB TV, and I have it on my TV package.
Yeah, it's so stupid.
It makes no sense.
Because I have to, I'm dumb.
I don't,
I'm sure that if someone
came in and was like,
you can consolidate
all to this,
I'd be set.
But the problem is
I'm always in fear
of like turning on my TV
or trying to watch
something on my phone
and not having it.
Yes.
So they got me by the balls.
Yeah, you need it all.
And at the last second,
if you're like,
okay, I'll just fucking
buy this real quick.
Fuck, just like, let me do this.
Yeah, right.
I always try to renew like Red Zone five minutes before kickoff.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, they fucked us with that one time.
It was in the sports package.
You got a couple of different things.
Then they made Red Zone its own thing.
Yeah.
So they were like, oh, well, you never called us to opt in.
I'm like, I didn't know it was another opt in.
I thought I was just in the thing.
I missed like, because we were here.
I missed the first two weeks. And the first time I could watch it was like week three. They were didn't know it was another opt-in i thought i was just in the thing i missed like because we were here i missed the first two weeks and the first time i could watch it was like week
three they were traveling or whatever it was and it was like where the fuck is it it's like oh it's
not here what are we talking about unacceptable unacceptable now it's i got the other one too
now sunday ticket i i would have taken you for a streaming guy ron
i'm like not only cable but like i'm buying all i'm buying
like showtime yeah oh yeah me too all that shit like like i think that if if i ever cut all the
cords like there'd be an alarm that would go off at the cable company and i was lost a big one i
drew the line at cinemax for whatever reason i didn't buy cinemax but i also have the hbo max
like on a dap. I have it
all. I'm paying for it. I'm not
trying to cut costs there. God knows
the cable companies need my sweet, sweet cash.
They do.
They need you.
I'm happy
to do it.
High noon. What's the news situation now?
You're going to have 16 TVs?
16 TVs? Yeah. What'd you decide on the mate? It? You're going to have 16 TVs? 16 TVs. You're having 16 TVs?
Yeah.
Yeah.
What did you decide on the main?
It's a big one and two stews?
Five.
Five?
Yeah.
Are you going to set 16 TVs up?
Like a bracket?
No, not on one wall.
Yeah, I was going to say.
Yeah, not on one wall.
Yeah, that's five is nice.
That would be crazy.
Like a bracket.
Literally just a sports book, yeah.
A bracket would be crazy. Like a bracket. Literally just a sports book, yeah. A bracket would be incredible.
Or at least like 8-4-3 or 8-4-2-1.
Yeah, like nesting dolls.
They just slowly get smaller.
That would be sweet.
Dude, but I was on the high noon last night.
I went over to my new apartment.
Our couch just got in and brought over some high noons.
Christened it, dude.
Ooh, nice.
I didn't burn some sage, dude.
High noon tequila seltzers.
You got to burn it.
Get the bad demons out of there, luckily.
Maybe not even bad.
It's just renewing.
Different.
Yeah, just my stink.
I wanted to get my stink to it.
Are you facing the same way Francis is?
No.
Of course not.
Is it going to be awkward when you see Francis in the elevator?
Yes.
Yeah.
The guys are in the same building?
We'll make it awkward.
Isn't that crazy?
I am.
I went to his show the other night, and he designated drove us home.
You were drinking high nudes.
I was.
That's why he designated drove us home.
The tequilas, too.
100 calories.
I was drinking them yesterday.
I woke up today, no hangover, feeling
fresh as hell. And I think it's because there's no gluten
in them, Nick. It has to be.
It makes you feel so much better. No gluten,
no malt. That combination
just removes an aspect
of the shitty feeling the next day.
Yeah, I think we should all go
no gluten in honor of Nick.
I think it might help, guys.
I will. Only in the high no Yeah. I think it might help guys. Well,
no,
only in the high noons,
only in the high noons.
That's the only place I won't do any gluten.
Uh,
get them on drizzly or high noon spirits.com.
Find some sweet high news near you.
You and Francis just hanging out.
I know.
Building is the best and best deal around for me,
for me. It deal around for me.
It was good for me.
Good deal.
Yeah?
I'd say so.
I don't fucking know what I'm talking about, actually.
Now you're more in the mix, too.
Yeah, we're really in the mix.
Can't say no to doing game night with them.
I can't wait for the next one.
I truly can't wait.
That was fun.
It was.
You know, adults need play, just like kids.
Yeah? Totally. Some adults get no play, just like kids. Totally.
Some adults get no play.
For real.
No play, no ass.
I have some homies that don't play.
They're miserable.
I think they said you need to play.
Some people get kids and turn into NPCs, too.
Literally, their brains turn off.
What's NPC?
A non-player character.
Just like a robot moving around in the background.
You gotta play.
You have to be playing at all times.
And goofing.
Oh, so much goofing.
You don't have to be goofing or prepping a goof.
You don't always have to be.
Huberman said that, I think.
I don't know if I've ever seen him goof.
Right.
He's like, you need to take this pill.
So the Huberman subreddit is big on purring right now.
Purring?
Vibrate your throat as much as you can,
and apparently it works down to your testes and tickles a nerve.
Oh.
Apparently it feels pretty good after you do it for a while.
It's like putting your finger deep in your belly button.
Do them in the cold shower.
Oh, I don't know.
What's the pitch?
Can you teach us how to purr?
I think you just have to OM sound. Oh, so they're know. Not like that. I hate that. What's the pitch? Can you teach us how to purr? I think you just have to...
OM sound.
Oh, so they're stealing the um from yoga?
It's the monks.
The monks were pretty much hands-free masturbating.
Yeah, they were getting off.
I think you really got to vibrate your throat.
Work its way down.
I guess it goes to this nerve in your testes.
Yeah, I'm hard right now.
Yeah, I know.
It's like private parts on how it's starting as the girl
on the fucking speaker. Oh, that scene rocked.
Robin!
Oh, God.
That scene rocked. Jenna Jameson's like, what,
like 20 in that movie? 22?
Maybe, yeah. Fucking smoke.
I feel like she's actually
retired pretty well.
Her porn star.
Where'd she go?
Her porn wasn't like...
No, it was nothing like today's porn.
She was basically like...
There's probably like...
She's like an actress.
Yeah.
There's probably actresses in Hollywood
that have had raunchier porn scenes than her.
Yeah.
What a legend.
Like Maitland Ward.
Or Breonna Banks.
That was a different era.
Breonna Banks is not new school.
She's old school.
Oh, I'm thinking of someone else.
I'm thinking of Tiana Trump.
She's mid-school.
She's like, she's kind of getting old, too.
No, she is.
It's always sad when you see that first, like, you know, scene where you're like, oh, you're getting a little.
I mean, that burst isn't there.
Yeah.
It hit the hole the same way.
It's a job.
Right.
Just like anything turns into a job.
You know, at the desk, clacking away at the penis.
Yeah.
Calking in, caulking out.
Dude who fucked
what's
he looks he's so
unhappy in life who Jason
love yeah got
paid five grand to fuck somebody with his
15 inch dick you could just tell
why no you can just see he's
completely sapped
think so he is not yeah
I think that's a soul sucking industry probably industry. Oh, his dick probably is too
big. There's no way he gets it.
There's definitely too big.
That would be so annoying. Yeah, where girls are like,
no, too big. Did you see Adam22
being like, he did
what the internet wanted him
not to do. What the internet wanted him
to do was rail the fuck out of my wife
and cum in her mouth. But he let out of my wife and cum in her mouth but he let her
get on top and came in her pussy
that's a win for me
I was like oh my god
what was the consensus of the film
I haven't watched
I haven't either
weirdo
that's a weird existence
I think he over like
cause he's like
TJ TJ you've seen that That's a weird existence. I think he over, like, because he's like.
TJ.
TJ, you've seen that.
Market research.
We got Siskel and Ebert in here in the booth.
Thumbs up or thumbs down.
Take it down for us.
He bought it.
I thought he dominated the...
But they said she was
dry.
Yeah, I mean, she's...
He's an animal.
He's tough to take care of.
So it's...
Thank God you paused or else that would have been gay.
Oh!
Oh!
Nah, she was...
She looked like...
Fuck, I'm not going to say this.
She was having a tough time.
Let me put it that way.
Oh, that poor girl.
Oh, man.
He's tough to take.
I heard...
Put the cap to her.
He's tough to take.
What did Sass say about Justin Jefferson?
It was like that.
Oh, he had her screaming.
I heard Adam 22 said they made 50 times
what they estimated they were going to make.
Wow.
We're all getting played.
He's marketing the fuck out of her.
It became like the most watched sex tape.
They already have fuck tons of money.
Right.
Once I saw him call someone a mother trucker, I was like, damn.
We're getting played, but he's going to play himself because he's going to get this money and then be like, let's do it again.
That's going to be. I don't know if get this money and then be like, let's do it again. That's going to –
And then it's just going to be every game.
I don't know if he could do it again.
It wouldn't replicate.
But you underestimate the desire of people to – you know what I mean?
I didn't think they were going to make a second Indiana Jones.
True.
Shit.
I didn't think about that.
There they are.
He always wants to get back in there.
I saw a clip where he's like, yeah, I was fucking her so hard my dick got numb.
I was like, what?
How do I get that?
That doesn't sound good at all.
That sounds like shit.
That's part of sex is the feeling.
By far.
Yeah.
Numb.
That's a weird, because it seems like he was like, I talked to her.
We're like a very open relationship.
And it's almost like he's like overwoking.
He's like, no, we have this like free love going on where he's got to be secretly seething.
Oh, yeah.
He's not owned.
Yeah.
He's like crying behind the smirk.
And even if he's not.
He is.
I don't respect it.
I don't.
No, he gets't respect it. I don't.
No, it's like taking no publicity's bad publicity to the nth degree.
I guess he gets to have sex with other women and stuff like that.
True.
So there's like the balance to that, but nah, bro.
He's also attracted to women, right?
He's not attracted to like men right? He's not attracted to men.
There's a whole beating him type of thing.
I can see that shit happening to me, dude.
I wouldn't rule out him getting railed by a dude.
No?
They're on the path. What's next?
Yeah.
Got a kid and stuff. Comes in here a decent amount. Yeah, that kid. I mean, they're like on the path. What's next? Yeah.
Got a kid and stuff. He's good.
Comes in here at decent.
Yeah, that kid.
Oh, man.
Come on.
Because they already are rich.
That was real, Kyle.
Yeah, that feels so bad.
They have enough money.
Like, they're rich.
They're already rich.
Like, yeah.
I can't think of a worse scenario maybe i'm
closed-minded but like it's uh i think yeah it's tough for a kid yeah just can't think like 15
years everyone's just gonna be like so so open-minded that it won't affect the kid i know
i think it's everyone i think we're going in the opposite direction again.
Catholicism is going crazy.
Like the sex positivity went crazy
and now it's like, oh wait, we went too far.
We'll see.
I'm interested in the extreme northwest of Minnesota now.
Like past Duluth.
Is that cold out there?
The boundary waters.
Isn't it way farther north than a lot of parts of Canada?
It seems cool, but I don't know enough.
I have friends who go up in the Boundary Waters.
Like one of those guys.
Canoe place?
Yeah.
You bother me.
I'm interested.
It's where everyone's going to live once global warming.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Minnesota, yeah.
They said there's going to be orange farms in Pennsylvania by 2050.
What?
That kind of rocks.
What?
Come up for us.
That's some bad advertising by the global warming people.
Yeah.
Latrobe's going to have orange trees as far as the eye can see.
It'll be beautiful.
You hate shoveling?
Yeah, it's going to turn into the Almofi Coast.
Like fucking massive oranges growing like the lemons they have out there.
Beautiful.
All of New Jersey will be underwater and Pennsylvania is going to be this incredible coastline.
This Google River is going to be like fucking.
You think the plan is out there?
You think people are going to be scouting you out when you go to Chicago for your shoveling business?
Shoveling business?
Like, I'm just saying.
The way you tip, you're not a frugal tipper.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You have a heated driveway, don't you?
Oh, I do not have a heated driveway.
I have an alley that's shared.
I assume someone.
Plow guy come through?
Yeah, plow guy's got to come through.
Get some love.
That guy, Ian, what's his name?
What is his name?
Ian Pettit.
Fuck.
Who's that?
He was trying to get the truck from his parents, and he was like, I could put a plow on it.
The guy who pitched the PowerPoint.
Yeah, that's hilarious.
That's a great business.
If you're like an entrepreneurial guy who doesn't mind working with his hands,
starting a plowing business in the wintertime...
Yeah.
It just sucks because you have to be ready at all times.
When it's going to snow, you go wait in the lot.
Yeah, Friday night, you're like, fuck, I have to go work.
I'm just like, that's the sacrifice you make to make a fucking ton of money.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's like sanitation around here.
Yeah, it's just... It's the worst, but that's when they clean up. So much money.
Literally clean up.
Gotta do it.
You get that one, Nick? I gotcha.
That was sick.
Rico's sharp right now.
I test my stuff with the, you know, sharp minds.
Yeah, it's nice. Iron sharpens iron.
Rico, you're a sharp mind.
That's why iron sharpening, you know? You're iron as well.
Rico runs jokes by me, and I have to shoot some down.
Yeah.
Not that they're bad.
They're too much.
Who's sharp?
He's a real dickhead sometimes.
Nasty jokes?
Nasty jokes.
Rico, you ready for Pick'Em?
Yeah.
You think we're going to go contract talks episode one?
I think that you will run back the hits, Dan.
Do I think now that I'm learning how you operate?
Yeah, Dan.
I know that there's a tense contract situation.
It's not a tense contract.
It is what it is.
New playbook for this year?
See what happens.
All right, fine.
I won't.
We do have the writer's trophy.
You have to get the Pat Hill trophy, by the way, out of the studio
because they're taking everything in the studio and shipping it to Chicago. Jesus Christ. Yeah do have the writer's. You have to get the Pat Hill trophy, by the way, out of the studio because they're taking
everything in the studio and shipping in Chicago.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, I'll take it.
Why is that?
Jesus.
No, I'm where you can't lose it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, you can because your name's not on it.
I did think about showing up with it retroactively from the Pick'em Tracker kid on Reddit and
putting my name already on there.
2013, 2016, whatever.
You would have flipped out.
You would have been.
I knew how that was going to go.
I had to have won a couple of those.
I won a bunch.
I think you did.
I think Dave was.
You also.
That was back in the tracking days where Rico's was loose with the.
They had a third party.
We had a third party.
Four unit play.
Pick them.
Pick them.
We'll be live.
I'll be out there.
Yeah.
Because it comes to Chicago, do you pick them?
Every week?
I think so.
Not every day.
Well, I'm not going to bring up the contract,
but that was a good question that would then lead to.
Seems like they want to do like a three-headed monster.
Yeah.
On the whole country.
Yeah, Miami, New York, Chicago.
Do you think that Dave
Will just like
20 years from now
Will just still have you
On the one year deals
You joke
It's a man's livelihood
But
That's where you get
Your sick fucking
That means you got
21 year deals
That's pretty fucking good
You're like Bobby Bonilla
Would be pretty good
It's like franchise tag
Franchise tag
Franchise tag
That's why you gotta
Write it into your contract
They can't keep tagging you Yes You need to get out Of the franchise tag, franchise tag, franchise tag. That's why you got to write it into your contract. They can't keep tagging you.
You need to get out of the franchise tag.
You can only get tagged what?
Can you get tagged two years in a row?
I think it's two years.
Two years in a row and that's it?
Remove Barstool from your bio.
Scare him a little bit.
Saquon.
Harden did.
Well, that's what Rico did.
What?
Harden removed Sixers from his bio
Oh yeah, Saquon I think removed Giants too
Yeah
Yeah, I think I did that
I don't know if I got that far of removing the bio
Ah, you definitely did
I don't know
Yeah, but it's going to be fun, I'm excited for Pick'em
I want to do Pick'em for the rest of my life
I would love to
Yeah, I would too.
I would imagine that.
It'd be great.
It's already been going for 10 years.
Yeah.
That's long running for a player.
You had a couple gaps.
The one.
I've been doing it for 10 years.
The rest of your life will be sick.
The year I missed that you like break my balls
I left in December to
go to the academy for
the fire department.
Oh but you left
earlier.
And then it was all
the way through April
and then I didn't show
up for the tournament
that year so I skipped
the tournament.
But what was the
year that we got
Blackjack?
It was the same year
I think.
That was the whole
season.
He was not on the
whole season Dan.
I'm 100% no way.
There's no way I
missed a whole season blackjack
was on pick them well we did it dave and rico both bailed on me for an entire season so it was me and
lewis at that we did it we did a search alluded it was not a whole year oh yeah and i told lewis
i was leaving i was like yo i'm leaving for the academy in december he's like all right yeah
whatever we'll figure it out and i came back that next fall, fall of 17. We recorded in the office.
But that was when Dave was traveling a lot.
You were traveling.
I'd be like, every week I would hit you up.
Are we doing it?
You'd be like, yeah, we're doing it.
That's proof that if you have a good name and a cowboy hat,
you can literally do anything.
Clemmer got a DM the other day that LaDuca was getting sued.
He's getting sued by Joe West and he didn't show up well he's getting sued by joe s and he
didn't show up to the court now there was an arrest warrant out for him well yeah that happened
on i think a barstool podcast did not no no but he what he said but they said he didn't show up to
the court date now there was an arrest warrant i'd clemmer get the dm i don't know also he's a
bounty wearing a cowboy hat yeah or but he needs a better name, too, though. It can't just be you wear a cowboy hat randomly.
But he would look awesome in a cowboy hat.
A fitted Stetson.
Big buckle.
Let's get a GoFundMe going for him to get a Stetson fitted.
I want a feather in his, though.
Yeah?
I like that.
He's got to earn it.
He'd have to wear a collar church tucked in.
But outside of that, he'd be good.
He looks like a mascot if you throw a cowboy hat on him yeah yeah like he does look like one of the mascots that's got for like grass uh the oklahoma oklahoma state whispering willows
spaghetti western he's a mascot for Straw in your mouth
I had no idea
Why they called them
Spaghetti Westerns
I still don't know why
Yeah why
In Italy
Oh
What
Actually like
Yeah
They're cheap
Look it up
Oh that's cool
Like the
The bad and the ugly
Like it's real title
Is like an Italian
I'm like that
I asked somebody that
Are they Italian directors
I don't know
I think a decent amount
of them are
Spaghetti Western
what's the academy like Rico
what academy
when you were talking
oh tough
yeah tough
if anybody quit
did they make them go
ring a bell
that was the rumor
but then nobody ever
did it in front of us
at the end of the week
they rung it though
but yeah it was tough
it should be
it should be tough.
Yeah.
It's like, you know.
And then they yell at you.
Yeah, it's torture.
Yeah, it's.
Physically or mentally harder?
A little bit both.
Did they spray you with the hose?
No.
Well, what is mental torture for you?
That's just.
That's just here.
I was going to say, that's just sitting you in a room with your own thoughts.
Yeah, that's just here.
Yeah, what's tougher mentally?
Honestly, I think that's why I did okay.
Here is tougher.
Yeah.
In the fire academy.
That's huge.
Mentally.
It's like Guantanamo when Dave is just like,
Rico, you got a one-year deal.
Go sit over there and think about it.
Yeah.
That's worse than waterboarding.
Yeah, that's playing the hits.
No one tortures you like you.
No.
That's why I call a lot of people when I drive around at night.
What do you mean drive around at night?
Is that something you do a lot?
Here and there.
Therapeutic.
That actually is a great move.
I like doing that.
Put on some jazz music.
Yeah, no traffic.
Put on the jazz station. Bump around, yeah. Zooming around. Jazz music? Yeah, no traffic. We're on the jazz station.
Bump around, yeah. Zooming around.
You know, be bopping around.
So it's not you, you know what I mean? Your own thoughts.
Yeah.
Who's your best,
who's been your most trusted
caller? You know you're going to have a good-ass talk.
I mean, Jerry calls me six times a day.
Yeah, Jerry and Rico have a weird relationship.
They're like,
they call each other a lot.
A lot.
Getting two call guys together, that's a service to society.
Yeah.
It's like pairing up two people.
No, I mean, I checked in with somebody the other day,
and it was on my list to check in,
and they ended up telling me some stuff that I'm glad I found out.
So it's like, it's just, I don't know, check in.
I say it all the time.
I wrote that thing a couple years ago or a year ago now.
Buddy of mine from college, just check in.
I said we should stay in touch.
I think it's the most overstated but underutilized thing in the world.
I texted Will Compton yesterday.
I said, I miss you, man.
Did he answer?
Did he answer?
He didn't answer me.
Didn't answer me.
Wow.
I called him twice.
He said today.
And last night he's like, hey, bro, I owe you a call.
I'm like, oh, it's no big deal.
It'll only take four minutes.
Nothing yet.
Nothing yet.
He's busy.
He's busy.
Yeah, I bet.
I think he's mad at me.
What?
I've been on the NFL's Instagram more than him.
Oh, yeah.
Nicky Clicky.
They were just using you.
It was a bad edit.
You look good.
What do you mean bad edit?
You made great contact.
You made it look like I got thrown out.
Oh, but it wasn't you at first base.
And you could tell by the trajectory of the ball that it was, you know, that wasn't going to be in.
Roar of the crowd.
Look at this shit.
She said, who's who?
You should have a celebrity softball game.
Definitely should.
It's the gang.
These kids are going nuts.
It's effortlessly by Kenny.
Yeah.
He went yard every time.
Over the things?
Once.
He hit the wall.
Bang!
Right there!
Oh, yeah!
Clearly a girl.
It's clearly a girl.
Did Jerry make it?
No.
Oh, no.
Controversial.
And he put his body on the line.
Jerry was diving.
Yeah.
Went out there for a week.
That was a bad swing.
Friar Muth.
Friar Muth, Latin King.
How's that?
Huh?
I don't know.
Oh.
What?
Yeah.
Yeah, you should have a celebrity softball game and a golf outing.
Okay.
I mean, I would love to do a celebrity softball game.
For what cause, though?
Winner takes all.
Oh.
There is no charity.
Yes. Imagine that. No, I. There is no charity that's just...
Yes.
Like a high...
Imagine that.
No, I'm not doing charity.
I'm doing high level.
You get 20% of the sales.
Pay to get in.
Everyone pays to get in, yeah.
Like TVT.
A little bit of the sales.
Oh, man.
Assemble a super team?
Yeah.
Like, yeah, Mr. Burns.
Yeah, you have Ken Griffey Jr.
And Anthony Rizzo.
There's got to be a little bit of a friendly rivalry thing of like,
that's the other captain.
So, like, you guys have a – you know what I mean?
Like, I'm trying to think.
Sounds like you'd be the good other captain.
I'll make your roster and I'll also make my roster.
Oh, that's a trick and saved by the bell.
Yeah, that's a save by the bell trick.
You can make both.
Pick the team, Zach.
I trust you to make them fair.
Puts all the losers on one team, all the winners on one team,
and then the guy switches the captains on him.
Ooh.
But you against Dave in a celebrity softball game,
winner take all is fire.
That's the one.
That would be fun.
You guys go out of pocket, no salary cap?
No salary cap.
That's how it should be.
And steroids legal?
Steroids fully legal.
That's fire.
I want a cut of this action.
Oh, so I want a cut.
My idea.
And Roan perfected it.
Yeah, yeah.
I was here.
Nick was here.
Nick needs his cut.
Nick gets it.
KB gets it.
Nick gets it, but they get trickled down.
You get cuts from our cuts.
Why isn't that a thing?
You guys love competing against each other.
Yeah.
And just for money.
Sounds like a lot of organization.
That's the only problem.
Not for you.
Not for you.
You just pick your team. There might be an event. No, but they got to pick a date. People probably get a lot of organization. That's the only problem. Not for you. Not for you. You just pick your team.
There might be an event.
No, but they've got to pick a date.
People probably get a test of that this fall, Dan.
A certain thing that was filmed.
You guys competing against each other.
No spoilers.
That was fun.
We're going to put that in big elements of sports.
Okay.
Celebrity softball.
For charity.
Or you do have a salary cap.
Is it more fun to have a salary cap?
You have to manage that.
Or just no salary cap, steroids, legal, like, no holds barred.
How many, yeah.
Where would you have?
You get a minor league?
You get a lot of minor league stadium?
Minor league stadium.
You do a rough and rowdy?
At halftime?
Yeah.
One fight, main event?
Or three, four fight card? Yeah, something like that. Well, no halftime in baseball. There. One fight, main event. Or three, four fight card.
Yeah, something like that.
Well, no halftime in baseball.
There's a rough and rowdy coming up.
Yeah, I didn't even know about that.
August 18th.
Where is it at?
We don't talk about that shit.
Is it in Wheeling?
Is it?
I think.
You guys aren't invited?
I haven't been talking about it.
I found out because Shizat, someone's doing a documentary about him.
And he's like, can you do an interview on a documentary on August 18th?
I was like, no.
And then I was like, wait, yes, I can.
That's a rough and rowdy.
He just wanted me to fly to West Virginia on August 18th.
Anything for Shizat.
I wouldn't be surprised.
I don't know.
I don't want to break any news on this show anymore after Blackman
was on my ass yesterday.
I was trying to get
Max and Billy to fight.
Whoa.
Electric.
Devlin, he busts his ass
to try and make fights happen.
There was one or two
rappers almost
were about to fight.
Go ahead.
A kid from Providence.
They got to get him
a tough opponent.
A kid who hurts people.
Are you talking about
Diamond Hands?
I don't know. A hockey player? He's a black guy. Not Bobby Lang. Bobby Lang's still undefeated, right? Are you talking about Diamond Hands?
I don't know.
Hockey player?
He's a black guy.
Not Bobby Lang.
Bobby Lang's still undefeated, right?
Yeah.
Oh, he lost last time.
Oh, I think too.
Who?
I want to say, and now I'm probably saying too much,
but I'm pretty sure this is going to be the first ref and rowdy that they change the law in West Virginia
and you can do five round fights.
So everybody's they're going the opposite direction.
Well, we'll do we'll keep it three rounds for most of the fights.
But for like Bobby Lang, like we've always been like, man, I wish there were two more
rounds.
Did he lose?
Oh, yeah, he did lose.
He got his head busted open.
Who?
It might have been.
Wasn't it Providence?
Oh, it was.
He lost to a kid from like St. Clairsville, Nick.
Yeah.
Like the Ohio Valley, I think.
Yeah, he had that fucking huge gash.
It was like a bullet hole in the middle of his head.
Who the fuck did he lose to?
He's bleeding everywhere.
I don't know the guy's name.
Some of the most fun I have in the office is rough and rowdy.
Oh, it's the best.
Rules.
And I don't even, the last one I missed.
You made it there. Made it there and then I left. You bail the best. Rules. And I don't even, the last one I missed. You made it there.
Made it there, and then I left.
You bailed out.
Yeah.
Fucking joke.
Dave did say that.
He was like, what is it?
Birth your child?
I was just like, yeah, but we will be live.
And he could go back and find it and be like, you weren't there.
Yeah, he'll know.
Yeah.
20 years from now, Fasoli just hands him the DVD.
Hey, there's a secret.
That's worse than Adam 22's.
Out of his own personal stash.
The internet has completely changed.
We've wiped everything and Fasoli keeps a copy of everything.
He's like the Library of Congress.
I just want to teach you something.
Show us the little guy.
We should have Fasoli run the stacks in the basement of the Chicago office.
Just like in a dusty.
Evidence locker.
He's got like an old jacket.
Come with me.
He's got a little fucking candle.
2013.
I have a file on that.
He's just got a computer system that code worded everything
yeah
so like he put in like
big cat
softball
2017
and he's got something
there
like the clips
just everything
does he have people under him
does he
is he
has
managed people
I think me and Kyle are
why are you do you manage Fasoli? I think me and Kyle are.
Do you manage Fasoli?
Yep.
Oh, give him a title, though.
Who do you manage, TJ?
Fasoli, Zupi, and Connor Griffin.
Oh.
Just give him a title.
He's the director of research.
Yeah.
He's the vice president of research.
EVA operations.
EVA operations, yes.
EVA Corp, yeah.
Yeah, just give him a title.
He'll be in charge of people soon, I'm sure. Yeah, he's like Steve Sable. NFL film Corp, yeah. Just give him a title. He'll be in charge of people soon, I'm sure.
Yeah, he's like Steve Sable.
NFL Films. Yeah.
From wrestling.
Sable.
Oh, yeah, I love Sable.
Ron, are you anybody's manager?
God, no.
I don't crave power, brother.
Keep it that way.
I do.
Yeah, yeah.
Get your boy Connor under control.
He texted me the other night asking me for advice for music
because he's never listened before.
What?
He doesn't know music.
He's like, where do I start?
You seem like someone who would help.
He YouTubes music.
He doesn't have any of the apps.
Yeah.
You are a DJ.
Yeah.
It's like Titus is producer.
What's his name?
Editor, not producer.
Editor?
Cody.
Captain Ferdinand?
Cody just hit me up out of nowhere.
He's like, Bill's Bears, August 26, you in?
I was like, preseason?
No.
Then he tweeted out our combo.
Oh, that's a no-no.
That's tough.
And I didn't care because it's like...
Yeah, you didn't say anything.
I just said no-no. That's tough. I didn't care. Yeah, you didn't say anything. I just said no.
Yeah.
Pre-season, no.
He texted me after this.
He was like, was it a bad idea to DM Big Cat?
I mean, there's zero potential universes where he would have said yes.
To a pre-season game?
Just me and you?
All right.
He said, I'm just trying to make friends.
I'm like,
Big Cat's not your friend.
And he was like,
all right, well,
and then he was like,
well then,
do you want to go with me?
And I was like,
no.
Yeah, preseason, no.
I could talk myself
into preseason
if you had the club access
with a really good
buffet.
Food and shit
that you're never
going to get
full season.
No,
because,
well,
maybe it's just
for our line of work, but like football season is so long
and it takes so much.
Like, why do I got to go to a game?
I'm saying as a fan.
Yeah.
People tailgate for preseason games?
Yeah, they do.
In the summer, Jets-Giants usually gets a really good crowd.
Because they make you buy them.
Like with the season ticket package.
They're in.
There's no way around it.
That's how it goes.
The FT and I just bought Colts season tickets.
Really?
Yeah.
Why?
He bought them because Jim Irsay was like the first person to be like,
Dan Snyder's out.
So he's like, if Dan Snyder officially is out,
I will become a Colts fan.
And so he bought season tickets.
And last night he told me he bought them.
They were $1,200.
What?
So I was like, I'll match.
So we're just going to give them away.
Dude, I think that the Colts are going to be good with Anthony Richardson.
I think that's a good buy now team on for OPSL.
Their uniforms are awful.
They're new uniforms.
Yeah, it's bad.
$1,200 for season tickets?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, they just did Duke uniforms.
Yeah, they look bad.
Where are you sitting?
Very high up.
Very bad. You've got the lowest. Oh, yeah. You've got to go to a game they look bad. Where are you sitting? Very high up. Very bad.
You got the lowest.
Oh, yeah.
You got to go to a game, though.
No.
You got to go to a game.
He's out on.
You don't go to games.
You're out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
I have to work.
Whatever you say.
Some fun.
No.
Work is fun.
It is. It actually is. Yeah. You go to is fun. It is.
It actually is.
Yeah.
You go to baseball games.
You have a fucking, I was talking to Nick at KB, because so for like second week of
August, we're going to do a couple of yaks in Chicago because we have a bowling tournament
that we have to do.
It's going to be sick.
Can't complain about that.
Yeah, because you imagine being told like, hey, you got to work this Wednesday.
There's a bowling tournament that's being set up that you have to compete in.
Okay.
Awesome.
I'm in.
Are you going to put a couple of lanes in the office?
There's space for that?
Yeah, might as well.
Two lanes.
Okay, fine, yeah.
Yeah, fuck it, we will.
Two lanes?
You could do that.
Upkeep is...
A bowling?
What's the upkeep?
You've got to buff the floor. I think that's a machine that Balls. You got to buff the floor.
I think that's a machine that would break.
You need to buff the floor.
You got to buff the cheese.
It's going to be cheesed up for sure.
They're buying a pinball machine.
I've been looking and doing that.
There's only a few pinball mechanics in the United States.
Really?
In Illinois.
But in Chicago, I went to a pinball factory on a bachelor party,
and it's right there.
Then it might be back on.
It's your boy John.
A lot of mechanics going into that.
It's like the watch of the arcade.
That clip was going viral.
Of him playing in the jacket?
Was he in Atlanta or something?
No, it was San Francisco.
It was the last show.
We had a kid in the neighborhood
who was an unbelievable pinball player.
Deaf, dumb, and blind.
God damn it.
Who?
Tommy was his name.
We called him Tommy. Who? name. We called him Tommy.
Who?
Tommy.
We called him Tommy.
It could have been anything.
He didn't tell us what his name was.
He had a fucked up life, though.
His stepdad came back from war and got shot.
After war?
He had a weird uncle.
They took him to the uncle.
He kind of touched him.
They called her the Acid Queen.
She was a little like Hua in the neighborhood. Tried to fix him to the uncle. He kind of touched him. They took him to this, they called her the acid queen. She was a little like hooah in the neighborhood.
Tried to fix him.
Nothing worked.
Crazy.
Then one day, he smashed a mirror, and he all of a sudden was fixed.
All his senses came out.
Fucking nuts.
That's a miracle.
Crazy.
Miracle.
He had a dude
He used to
Suck on chili dogs
Behind the Tasty Freeze
Yeah
That's where he did it
Suck on them
See the dogs
That Frank made yesterday
Bro
Wait a minute
We need to talk about
The food problem
The food chat was
Fucking lighting up
I missed this
Oh
So
What That's Wait Can you go to him The food chat was fucking lighting up. Oh! So.
What?
Wait, can you go to him?
That looks like the McDonald's goo that they have.
That looks like a rat got run over in it.
Naked Chef Jamie Oliver has to stop. You probably have the tweet, but I'll pull it up for you.
Here, pull it up on the big screen.
Like, if you buy food dye, it's like one drop for, like, a vat will color the whole thing.
What was he coloring?
The vat.
Dogs.
They were red chili dogs or something like that.
Here's him adding the red food coloring.
Okay.
Yeah, you just need to do, like, a little touch.
Wait, what's in that?
It's Flamin' Hot Cheetos corn dogs.
Oh, no.
There's a whole container?
Oh, Frank.
He's like, it's not red yet.
The person didn't send him measurements on the recipe,
so he was just eyeballing everything.
So it was like way too much of everything.
I think an amazing series would be Frank having to cook.
Looks like an acai bowl.
It looks like smashed up beets.
Oh, listen to that sound too.
TJ, see if you can pull that up.
They have that graphic, Nick, of what they show.
Yeah, look.
Start by adding one drop at a time.
Then the video, the next video is him just dumping it.
Wait, so then he made this and then he...
They didn't send him the amount to use.
So he got mad at it rather than looking it up.
He's making red velvet cake.
That is a good color.
What is that sound?
The bubble.
Who's filming?
Doug's.
Oh!
I mean, the first time I watched this, I was like,
this might get taken off of YouTube for being too graphic.
This looks like some sort of, like, gore scene.
Here we go.
Sticking it in.
It's his saw.
Over the sink.
Let's play a game.
Doesn't one of the hot dogs roll into the sink too? Oh yeah.
What the hell is that?
That's chili?
Flamin' Hot Cheetos batter.
So that'll be easier to clean.
Ah.
Life hack.
We'll take a dog
and we'll dip it in.
Just do it in the bowl and roll it?
Dip the dog in the batter.
Hopefully the batter sticks to the bagger.
Dip the dog in the batter.
It's sticking to the batter.
There we go.
All right.
Here we go.
There's definitely Iowa carnival workers
that are disgusted by this.
That's one a dish product.
Oh, God.
Oh, the swirl.
Oh, no.
Fast forward.
And so the best part is...
A little more batter.
When they're done, they're not even red.
I don't think he used enough food coloring Oh
We lost the dog
He's got a deep fry so
Oh no
What are the sounds like
Yeah this is more graphic than Lena the Plug.
Let's stand for a couple minutes.
Let me get a little more batter in here.
Oh, my God.
Dip the dog in the batter.
Hey, you get off there.
Hey, get off there.
It looks like raspberry ice cream.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
You know my boy licked the bowl.
Wow.
It's a finished product.
Come on, stick.
Stick, stick. Stick, stick.
Here we go.
He's the best.
All right.
It's really, it's hard to be as interesting.
You can do a little bit of cleaning.
Consistently, too.
Consistently, but also, like, kind of not.
Oh, my God.
Like, it's not even not. Oh, my God.
It's not even holding.
What is going on?
That batter's not holding at all.
He's just frying dogs.
The stick under wall.
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
Look like the men.
Oh, no.
I think he're soft.
You really should.
Frank on Chop. Time to plate the meal. He's got all his fucking gloves or whatever.
I don't know.
Oven mitts.
Oven mitts.
Of his teams.
Oh, no.
The batter didn't stick.
All right.
Here goes nothing.
The curious bite.
The batter failed.
The batter failed.
Kind of like the Mets. Oh.
Jesus.
It sounded like someone took the batteries out of the smoke detector.
Please send me the measurements.
Things I throw in just with my eyes are things I've cooked for many times.
So if you know what went wrong, tell me, and I'll try to make it again.
So it's a hot Cheetos Korean corndog.
What makes it Korean?
That's just like the style.
Crazy.
Yeah.
I haven't seen you.
I haven't talked to you guys since.
What did you think of their clams?
What's the July clams?
Classic.
Instant classic.
Rico Cooks.
I loved it.
Oh, yeah.
Amazing.
Best in the biz, Rico.
It's getting chirped.
By who?
Are you getting chirped?
You bought your fucking seafood at Stop and Shop.
I'm like, they get it from the same fucking main areas can't wait those people bother the ocean
oh the ocean is the where they get main area well no like the main guy the big produce like the big
warehouse of seafood distributes it and he gets stop and shop on his thing you think that when
you go to a restaurant you're gonna get like say you have a 7 o'clock reservation as opposed to a 9 o'clock reservation.
Do you think you're getting a better cut of fish or steak?
Do you think they're using the better ones earlier on?
Well, I don't know.
Or do you think that it's all the exact same cut?
I think they're probably the Michelin.
If you go to a really good place, they all have really good cuts.
But I would imagine, too, that they reverse it
where it's like the 5 o'clock,
you know it's going to be
old people who cares.
Yeah.
It might give them the worst.
Like, if you have, like,
even if you have, like,
20 fish, 20 fresh fish,
there's going to be a best fish.
True.
Know what I mean?
Like, one of them has to be
better than the rest.
Maybe not.
Is the taste discernible?
What do you mean?
Difference?
But with good and bad or early and late?
Like the freshness.
Can you taste?
Oh, definitely.
Fish.
Not fresh fish is like the easier to tell than like steak or something like that.
Yeah.
You're a fish guy.
I love fish.
Always have been.
Fish is fucking awesome.
Pretty much any cut of it at this point.
Really?
Really?
I had trout for three straight meals when I was an athlete.
You were eating trout?
And it was prepared differently every time.
Do you think it's a texture thing for you?
You like the texture?
I like that it's healthy.
I like how it makes me feel.
I like how it tastes.
I like that it's...
I don't mind that the texture doesn't bother me in the slightest.
Why?
Is it the texture that makes you not like it?
I love the texture.
It's the smell.
It's the odor and the appearance, maybe.
Well, if it's fresh, it's odorless.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, I guess that makes sense.
Does it only eat fresh fish or not?
Yeah, fish doesn't take a fish right out of the ocean.
It's not thinking like a fish.
If it's fresh, it doesn't stink like anything.
Finding a great seafood place is a joy.
I don't love fried seafood, though.
Not fried.
No, they kind of.
Takes a whole layer out of it.
Yeah, you eat fish to feel like light on your feet.
Right, and then you get like fish and chips, and it's like Satan's eating a burger.
Reverses it.
You a fish guy, Rico?
Big time.
Fuck yeah.
I could have eaten six dozen.
Oh, you were right the first time.
Could have eaten.
What did I say?
Could have ate.
Could have ate six dozen of those clams.
No joke.
Really?
Yeah.
Six dozen?
Like on Christmas, baked clams, I'll put on a fucking clinic.
Baked clams are the best.
Clinic.
The best.
My wife's uncle had king crab legs one time that were pre-cracked.
He could have taken batting practice with these fucking things.
Unbelievable.
A little butter.
Oh, my God.
Just keep it coming.
Batting practice with some crab legs.
You guys see this fight between Stiney and Andrew Schultz?
Yes.
He doesn't want to.
Wait, is it Stiney and who Schultz? Yes. He doesn't want to... Wait, is it Stiney and who?
Andrew Schultz.
Oh, I saw Stiney and the...
He was supposed to be in a celebrity boxing match.
Oh, really?
And he threw...
Wait, we're talking about a different Stiney.
Who's Stiney?
Stiney's the dude from Nelk Boys that bought
John a chicken fry Van Cleef,
like a Van Cleef bracelet.
Yeah, I was thinking of... Yeah, what was the. I was thinking of a $5,000 bracelet.
He's dancing on her tip.
What's that fight?
Because I was thinking of the guy who rushed the office.
Primetime Alex Stein.
Oh, yeah.
That was his name, too.
He was in a celebrity boxing match,
and I think he probably didn't want to fight
because he was fighting against a Muslim guy,
and he threw in the press conference, threw a bunch of turkey sausages at him.
Really?
They were pork, and the guy flipped out.
But what's the other Stiney?
That one's the guy from Milk Boys.
Yeah, what's that?
I think Andrew Schultz just went on their podcast and made fun of him.
They recorded it over a year ago.
Huh?
And they recorded it over a year ago.
They both agreed not to put it out.
And now it's put out.
Who put it out?
Who put it out?
I don't even think I saw it.
It's out only on Twitter.
Really?
Who put it out?
Probably no.
Let's play it.
I just feel like you targeted me.
Did you or no?
Did someone tell you to do that?
No.
I thought you were just being a little annoying.
What makes you think that?
I don't know.
It's going to be like a therapy session.
Yeah, I mean, what the fuck?
Are you? I don't know if you're playing a character or you're having like an insecure moment.
If you're having a vulnerable, insecure moment, then I want to like talk about it.
No, I mean, I'm kind of playing something, but what?
Oh, if you're playing something.
What did I say that triggered you to say that?
He's so insecure and I think he plays his character.
What did I do that pissed you off?
I wouldn't say I was pissed off.
Why would you say that?
What did I do that annoyed you?
You were the one that came back and said that you felt hurt.
When was I phony?
When you're phony with somebody and then you get a real reaction, you can't be upset. When was I ph that annoyed you? You were the one that came back and said that you felt hurt. When you're phony with somebody and then you get a real reaction,
you can't be upset.
When was I phony with you?
But you're doing exactly what you should do.
You should try to get your moments.
This is a good moment for you.
Bro, you're crazy.
Oh, that's great.
I don't know the context.
Jolt's just fucking.
Definitely on.
No, you get your moments.
Go ahead.
Those guys are so big.
Why did he buy a $5,000 bracelet for Brianna's Chicken Fire?
Because they just do that shit.
He does that with like, yeah, chicks.
I think all of them are.
I mean, they just have so much fucking money.
Is it like a flex?
Yes, definitely.
But also.
Is he also trying to do something?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
What bothers you the most right now?
Nothing.
Nothing bothers you?
You look at your phone while we're doing this interview.
And everybody's seeming disinterested.
Were you looking at notes or texting girls?
Notes.
Notes.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
Me taking time out of my day to do this,
and then feeling like I'm forcing you guys to do the podcast.
I've never been more excited to do a podcast.
Say again?
I've never been more excited.
I'm sorry.
Don't apologize.
You don't have to apologize.
You asked me what annoyed me, and I gave you an honest answer.
Wait, are you being serious about that?
Yeah. That annoyed me. Really? you an honest answer wait are you being serious about that yeah that annoyed me really yes so is that surprising to you if i'm looking at my notes i have some things personally that i wrote that i wanted to ask you
not on there okay so i can't look at that and then ask you that i mean you can i guess what
if someone in the audience is on their phone when you're doing that then they don't get the
same treatment you got would you call them out yes? Yes. Have you done that before? Yes.
And how's that reaction?
Good.
They get as offensive as I do?
I don't think you're offensive.
I think you're offended.
Offended, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Schultz is smarter than them.
There's no fault.
It's fine.
You asked me how I felt.
That one seemed a little more even.
I like Schultz.
Nothing.
He's a good dude. I think that Steve will right now. Nothing. He's a good dude.
I think that Steve Will Do It doesn't like Stiney either.
He just calls him like a fake-ass dude.
I was trying to get in the rabbit hole, and I was just seeing all the TikToks.
I've done a podcast that we haven't put out, but it was just us.
It was just really bad.
Oh, yeah.
The other guy that they hated, too.
Shit, who's the guy Dave hates?
Memory.
Not Menary.
Him and Stiney used to get into it all the time.
Hey, that's too fucking...
Stiney worked for Menory and then got popular, from my understanding.
Oh, really?
Yeah, and they hate each other.
I met Steve Will Do It before he became...
Really?
Yeah, I think he was a big stoolie at Dan Bilzerian's house.
Whoa.
Yeah.
That's a podcast we never really...
Okay.
Yeah, how many have you sat on?
Three.
Thanks, Rico.
I just got this answer the other day.
Oh, yeah, there's Bilzerian.
There was one David Ortiz that we just ended
because he was...
I think he was going through a divorce
and he was on his phone.
And then we've done one recently that we're never going he was, I think he was going through a divorce and he was like on his phone and then we've done one recently
that we're never
going to air.
Oh.
I remember you
talking about that one.
Oh yeah.
But it's never for like
anything explosive.
It's more like
this will,
we know the power
of our fans
and this will look
really bad for you.
That's nice of you.
I don't want someone to be like, that sucked.
But then people, yeah, they're smart of you not even to say who,
because then you don't put something out, and it turns into.
That.
What was it?
What was said?
I mean, it is more, that gives me reason to tune into their podcast.
Yeah.
Maybe, I've always thought that it would be awesome if we did a worst of episode.
Oh.
Just the worst interviews.
I think that'd be awesome.
There's one that you put us in the pickle.
Oh, I did do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Whoopsie.
I brought up a blog Nick wrote, and the person got very offended.
Oh, this one's good.
Yeah.
That one aired, so people can figure that one out.
I'm in the dark on that one.
I'd say offline, okay.
I still don't know who the third one was.
I think it's LeBron, but...
Yeah, it was LeBron.
Imagine getting LeBron and you have to sit on that.
Oh, that would suck. Such a flex.
Oh, yeah. He would panic. He'd be
like, why didn't you put it out? It'd be great.
It was a good LeBron.
Yeah.
Why didn't you put it out?
Hey, that is how he sounds.
I should just give all the ones that we don't put out to Fasoli.
When all of us die, when the last member of Pardon My Take dies, release them all.
You could pay Fasoli an unreleased podcast.
Yeah. We should start doing
that. That's his Christmas bonus.
Get to watch this.
He'd be so thankful.
Yeah, he would. He got so close
to hitting Carbone yesterday on the wheel.
Oh, let's spin it. Yeah, fuck.
Carbone's unbelievable.
Then Drake has another, he had another
fucking Carbone lyric. Really? has another fucking Carbone lyric.
Really? He has multiple Carbone lyrics.
Munching on Carbone?
What's this?
It could be bad.
Could be good. Could be good.
Could be great.
Yeah, it'd be good.
Could be the end.
Wow.
What a way that would be.
I'll be.
I'll be good.
It'd be so fucking poetic.
What's this one?
Do you have you thought of what we do?
Scorpion.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think we would stop for like a week.
Come back with a different name.
Come back with a different name.
Yeah.
The Barstool Yak 2.
Yak 2 would be awesome.
Yak 2.
We just change where we're sitting.
Yeah.
Oh, Roni.
What could this be?
You know what's on your wheel?
I just remembered I have to give someone $1,000
or someone has to give me $1,000.
That's fun.
That's a lot of fun.
Let's play.
There's got to be some other shit, though.
Mine's a rarely hit wheel.
I don't think we've ever hit my fucking...
No, I don't think so either.
Is that the photo of you and Drake?
MAGA Hat Monday.
MAGA Hat Monday, MAGA Hat Monday.
Wow.
Oh, no.
Can we take TikTok dance off there?
Yeah.
If you're a wheel, you can do whatever you want.
Get the fuck out of here.
What's Ancestry.com?
You got to do Ancestry.com.
Okay.
It's a leap over show?
Yeah.
Fuck.
What's a jet ski tour?
Oh, wait.
KB landed on $100 to a hobo.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I didn't even know that. Go's a jet ski tour? Oh, wait. KB landed on $100 to a hobo. Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't even know that.
Go to a jet ski concert?
You've got to go do that.
What is that?
Probably now.
So you've got to do the jet ski tour around New York.
Oh, I thought you'd go on tour with jet ski.
That's fire, too.
Maybe both are up there.
I think I'm good with anything else on there.
Who is that?
Coleman?
No, in that documentary.
Do we just have Barstool videos playing?
Yeah, the doc.
Switch clothes with Nick.
All right, so now we've got to do a wheel.
Hey, that was me and you.
No, I think somebody off a wheel
has to switch clothes with you.
Why don't we take Zah off?
You'd be surprised, my bro.
Oh, hey!
Zah?
Who are you rooting for?
Land on me?
You have to return your crown. What's peer me? Ron, what's peer pressure?
Huh?
What's the shirt?
It's from the Drake show.
Nice, okay.
Bro, you bought a shirt from the concert
and you wore it the next day?
It's the first time I've ever done it.
It feels great.
It feels really fucking good.
But by like a week from now,
I'll probably have to get rid of this shirt after
one wear.
But it's the first time I can kind of get first crack at it.
Yeah.
How many?
What a life of Pablo shirt.
Yeah.
Illegal shirts on the outside.
Oh, my God.
Where do they get them?
And they're printed a whole different design.
But it's like pretty cool designs of Drake and 21 Savage.
They've gotten very good at it.
Yeah.
Who's like this?
They have like a good graphic designer working on them.
Like Welker's fucking side gig.
21 in his bag.
Welker's been texting me about the Reds.
He's a big Reds fan.
Yeah, what happened?
I haven't seen a lot of tweets from you.
Listen, they won yesterday.
You're doing a big...
All right.
You're doing a big...
Baseball in the world season.
What do you have them to win the NL Central?
17.
17 to 1?
Wow. And actually 1? Wow.
And actually better?
Yeah.
Okay.
That's not a crazy question.
Yeah, I got fucked.
No Williams.
Tunnels fucked me.
It's like Shawshank.
Lawyer fucked me.
Tunnels fucked me.
Just like Shawshank.
Just like Shawshank.
Driving through, trying to place it.
Lost track of the tunnel.
Damn.
Let's spin the wheel and find out who's switching with Nick.
Yeah.
Was it the first one or the last one?
Last one.
All right, last one.
Nice.
Damn.
Switched right away.
Nick, I could see you shining in this outfit.
Boxers, too.
Boxers, too.
Oh.
Yeah.
Get me out of that. Nice. All right, boxers, too. Boxers, too. Yeah. Get me out of that.
All right, boxers.
As long as it's not you.
I complimented Kyle's fit earlier.
I think it's almost...
You don't want to put this on.
I don't think you want me to put that on.
Man.
TJ, what are you wearing today?
Are you wearing that flame shirt?
Yeah, I can live with that.
You leave me busting the seams on all your clothes?
I'm fine.
I would have been a good one.
I'm wearing the most comfortable clothes.
Nick, if you get yourself though, you have to actually do it.
Fine.
All right.
What does he have to do?
He has to reverse them.
I have to wear my pants on top?
You have to wear your shoes inside.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
It's not what I meant, but yeah.
I don't know.
That's the first thing my head jumps to.
I know.
What the fuck? Like backwards? That's the what I meant, but yeah. I don't know. That's the first thing my head jumps to. I know.
What the fuck?
Like backwards?
That's the seven now?
Yeah.
God damn it.
What do you mean, God damn it?
TJ, I want it to land on TJ?
Yeah.
Oh, he's up one-nothing.
Yeah. All you have to do is reverse your close.
Yeah, I want it to land on me.
Oh, okay.
No, it's...
So TJ has to do it.
TJ, if he wins this, he doesn't have to do it.
He won.
Right.
That's how historically it's been.
Oh, hell yeah.
He's up 3-0.
3-0.
It's impossible.
This wheel gets...
There's some Tom Fuller at this wheel.
It'll get close.
TJ has the whole thing.
Wow.
Sweat.
Oh, fuck.
I got to piss?
It's only for wet.
You got to piss your shirt.
You got to piss in your shoes.
Imagine someone pissing their shirt.
They have to have a boner.
They have to have a boner tucked up and you pissed your shirt. So wait, what do I have to do piss in your shoes. Yeah, imagine someone pissing their shirt. They have to have a boner, I guess. They have to have a boner tucked up, and you pissed your shirt.
So, wait, what do I have to do?
You have to turn them around.
Just swap your clothes.
Yeah.
That seems highly unpleasant, pissing your shirt.
Oh, oh, oh, torso revealed.
No.
Oh, wow, looks like a black shirt.
I feel like an idiot.
Man, this went perfect.
Don't put the camera on him.
Go in the corner.
Go behind the camera.
What's he doing?
Jesus Christ.
There's a camera right here.
Hey, you got to get behind me.
Oh, shit, I'm getting a call.
Oh no!
How did you not see that coming?
Broken button, my pants.
I got you.
This is some goofy shit.
Oh my god.
You gotta feel so stupid, dude.
Now you got to put on your shoes backwards, too.
Yeah, yeah.
Thank you.
You flipped your shirt already?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
No, don't.
Put your right and your left.
And you got to go home like that, too.
No one will know.
I've probably done that with my pants before and just not noticed.
Yeah.
I've done it with my underwear.
I've done it with shoes, brown and black.
I've done underwear all the time.
Yeah?
Just put it on backwards?
Go to take a piss. Oh, look at his feet.
There's a lodge in front of you.
What an idiot.
Let's see if Pete says hello.
Pete.
Pete.
Pete.
He's going to think
I'm the biggest idiot.
Oh, what a jerk.
What a fucking jerk.
I got him when he walks by.
He's got to say hello
and he just didn't do it again.
That's just not right, man.
You do some sparkle?
When are you going?
How are you getting to Montauk?
About to drive there.
Oh, you're fucked.
Oh, yeah, I'm fucked.
It's four hours.
Are they?
Let's play like one or two games.
Yeah.
You're fucked.
I'm fucked.
What are you going out for?
Party?
Weekend?
Just a very low key. Trying to get to a beach. Sick, bro. Too good for going out for? Party? Weekend? Just a very low key.
Trying to get to a beach.
Sick, bro.
Too good for Coney Island?
All right.
I love Coney.
I've been to Coney more recently than I've been to Montauk.
What about the boys in the danger zone?
I need to get out to danger zone.
Or are they still on probation?
No, danger zone.
After their antics.
No, danger zone's still up and running for sure.
Danger zone's the Rockaway Beach crowd.
But, I mean, you can't even get down there unless you've got a place to park.
Speaking of goofing, those guys were goofing.
They goof hard.
They goof professionally.
One dude tried to start a militia.
For real?
He was arming his friends.
Oh, hell yeah.
Did he arm you?
No, but, yeah. Oh, yeah. Did he arm you? No, but, yeah.
Oh, no.
KP's unplugged.
Like an acoustic set.
Fuck.
Get under the hood of that bad boy.
Cat, are you excited to get to Chicago?
I am.
I just want the move to be done with.
Yeah.
When are you flying?
Sunday.
Damn.
Yeah.
What are you going to do with the car?
Well, I had a lease. I already returned it oh really yeah sick so you're just gonna pick one up on when monday i already picked up a lease when
we did uh oh right right right when you were out there last time i was in trivia yeah so where's
that been at say to get your house so you're gonna get you're gonna fly in get get uber and
then you'll you'll just have a house and car waiting.
Oh, no, cars can be there.
Spider.
Oh, I forgot.
He told me it was a 96 Buick.
Why don't you lease it for him?
Yeah, but unpacking is going to suck a lot.
Oh, no.
I think you pay somebody to do that.
Yeah, I should have done that.
When does your stuff get there?
Sunday. And when did should have done that. When does your stuff get there? Sunday.
And when did it leave?
Today.
So you have an empty house?
No, I got an Airbnb right down the street.
Smart.
Sick.
But it's not.
With kids, anytime you get into a different place, it's just.
Yeah.
Like my daughter almost died going down the stairs
this morning.
Yeah.
Dangerous stairs.
You got to write on the walls
with the crayon.
Yeah.
Mark your territory.
There's no TV in the living room.
Oh, Jesus.
Yeah, only 13 TVs in there.
Yeah, that's bullshit.
Bed, sleeping in a weird bed.
Any other treats for this pickup
besides the TVs?
You leave any hats?
There's a couple bottles of liquor that Jerry won't take,
so you can have that.
What about the hats from all the colleges?
I went through all my hats, and I have like 700 hats.
We're going to do something with it.
I think we're going to maybe when we open the new office,
maybe put them all out on the basketball courts
and figure out something.
You should just go to a hockey game and hope for the best.
Oh, that would be sick.
Wow.
Just dump all the hats.
Simultaneous, like a hat cannon.
Fucking like.
No, I'm a hat hoarder, though.
It was bad.
It was bad seeing it all.
Yeah, it's tough.
Didn't you have every college made?
I had a lot of colleges.
Jesus. It's nuts. Didn't you have every college made? I had a lot of colleges. Jesus.
That's nuts.
Sporkle?
Yeah, let's do Sporkle.
You want Sporkle first or Stephen Chase send-off song?
Oh, yeah, let's hear Stephen Chase song.
Five minutes?
That's too much, Chase.
Oh, a five-minute song?
Too much.
He definitely made, like, We Didn't Start the Fire.
What could it be with Dan or Pat?
Yeah, it's bad.
Fuck.
This is horrible.
You've got to get to the stretching, dude.
Why don't we just not play Stephen Chay's song?
Can we just jump to, like, four minutes in?
Yeah.
Let's play the beginning,
and then we'll skip.
The last minute.
TJ was saying that he didn't like how his voice sounded,
so he redid it.
He had some edits
His voice sounds the exact same in every single song
He was getting chirped for being tone deaf
On the last one
He is
TJ do you have the original one before edits
He broke some glass
He's not tone deaf anymore
Yeah play that one
The original
We'll play a little of that one
Then we'll watch the edits
And see what he edited out
Oh yeah
Fucking life goes on man
With some shit like that Do you guys know what song Steven Chey picked? I don't White Houses Oh, yeah. Fucking life goes on, man.
With some shit like that.
Do you guys know what song Stephen Chay picked?
I don't.
White Houses.
White Houses?
It's one of my favorite songs.
Same, bro.
I used to know every word of that thing.
You never forget it, really.
I'd probably put it back on.
God damn it.
I liked it before I knew she was talking about losing her virginity.
Is this the original?
Yeah.
All right, today's Big Cat's last day on the Yak.
He's moving to Chicago tomorrow.
Is that Cadence?
I'm not here this week. Is this the day you said he had to film big things for the Yak?
Definitely.
It's like everyone out of the sky.
It's called Who's Gonna Host the Show?
It's a spinoff of a song by the Avid Brothers.
A beautiful song called I and Love and You.
I don't even know this.
Load the car and write the note.
Oh, yeah, this is a good song.
Yeah, Avid Brothers rock.
I'll never be able to sing it again.
Grab your bag and grab your coat.
Kicked.
Tell the ones that need to know.
It just always says he's next know Big Cat is moving west
All the way to Chicago
I love what he does in that.
He doesn't have the words, so he just kind of lets it go.
That, or he fills them in quick.
In a North Carolina undertow.
What?
Now it's dance time to go.
No big cat, where do I begin?
Remember the times I slept in
Brandon's basically in Wisconsin
Oh
No big cat where do I begin
Oh my god
I thought he changed it too
When at first
Can we just go to the chorus?
Yeah.
This isn't the chorus yet?
You didn't cut me any slack.
That's true.
I hated him.
But over time, we got to be pals.
Oh.
Now we're singing like some gals.
This has actually hit me before with Stephen Chay. You were singing like some gals This has actually hit me before with Stephen Chay.
Yeah, we're singing like some gals
It's one of those guys that he's going to just find a way to be in my life for the rest of my life.
There's nothing I can do about it.
I could retire and he'd be like, well, do you need an assistant?
Will you be the godfather to my children?
I just can't say no, and then he's just...
That's my goal. You get go away money.
Like Stephen Chay,
like in realistic terms,
I'm going to be...
It's like 75K.
Get the fuck away from me.
I'm going to be in hospice care
and Stephen Chay
will be my nurse.
Oh, yeah.
I'll go to nursing school
for this.
I'll figure that out.
I'm going to work
that shit out too.
Do you think he would be
the saddest at my funeral?
Him?
Yes.
No, he wouldn't.
He'd be like,
no, he had a good life.
Oh, no, yeah. He'd be the opposite., he had a good life. Oh, no, yeah,
he'd be the opposite.
Unless he's like
a blubbering mess.
Yeah, it would go
one of two ways.
He'd either just be like,
yeah, we had great times.
Good life.
Or he'd be like inconsolable.
My wife and kids
would be like,
what's this guy's problem?
He's just like,
they have to wheel him out.
Throws himself in after you.
Yeah.
Make me.
Yeah, it should have been me
Wait is it a chorus yet?
It's a lot of fucking
Dead God
Five words that we now
Must say
I don't think it is
Oh
Who's
Gonna host
The show
Why'd he pick this song
If he doesn't know it?
I also liked that he made this entire song, who's going to host the show,
when at least the yak from YouTube times has been built is like anyone can host it.
That's the beauty of it.
None of us have. We all, everyone
is capable and the show goes on
if half of us died.
I want to hear this. This has got to be
the chorus. Brandon's in Wisconsin.
Where do I begin?
No big cat.
Where do I begin?
Again.
I feel so uncomfortable.
Remember that time I slept in?
There we go.
Brandon's basically in Wisconsin.
No big cat.
When do I begin?
How about that?
He did the full five minutes.
I think he might need to redo this with a different song.
Yeah, he has to.
I'm sending this back.
This isn't a...
Yeah, send this back.
I'm sending this back.
That's how I ordered this.
Send it back.
We need an immediate...
Just tell him no thank you.
Yeah, I'm sending this order back.
What's a good... There's probably good songs that we all know.
Yeah, this is.
I want like Elephant Head.
Like Party Rockin' Tonight or something.
Yeah, you can't get a montage to that.
This is.
Did not.
Didn't it?
Keep it a buck with Steven.
Because the other ones have been great.
This show.
Isn't that perfect for Steven?
Fuck you.
I'm like, I fucking hate this.
Fuck you.
Gonna host.
Get that smile off your face.
Look at him.
You're crying right now.
The worst.
Yeah, he did think we were crying.
The boys are tearing up right now.
Oh my God. Yeah, just now. Oh, my God.
Yeah, just another.
No, thank you.
Yeah, no, thank you.
I'm sending that one back.
Give it another shot, Steven.
Yeah.
It really gave me, like, a chill.
I love that he's like, yeah, I got a lot of work to do this week.
Sit in a room by myself and sing a ballad to Big Cat.
Who's going to host this show?
It sounds like Sass is Bob Dylan.
All right, Sporkle, Sporkle.
We'll get a Sporkle in. We just got a Sporkle in real quick.
Spork?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm running out of fucking.
I got you, bro.
Killing me here.
I should have told you not to throw out your back.
Didn't you have your back stuffed in?
Yeah, I have a bulging disc, but you just have to do physical therapy.
It's the only way to fix it.
All right.
One NBA player claims to have slept with over 20,000 women.
Oh, wow.
Two movies.
No, don't say it yet.
I know that.
Two movies where Keanu played a former college football star.
Three things you could do to original bop it.
Four superhero alter egos for main South Park characters.
Five most popular Taco Bell items.
Six top-selling NBA jerseys for second half of 2022-23.
Seven entrance exams and tests for college applications,
four letter Scrabble words with Q but not U,
nine British car manufacturers,
ten animals with the largest junk-to-body ratio.
What?
Dick to body.
I say we flip this one.
You don't like this one?
You want to do another one?
All right, Rico, you're our guest.
All right, let's do it.
I don't know. Rico, you've got to switch seats with KB. He's legally blind. All right, we'll do a different one. You don't like this one? You want to do another one? Alright, Rico, you're our guest. Alright, let's do it. I don't know.
Rico, you gotta switch seats with KB. He's legally blind.
Alright, we'll do a different one. He is legally blind.
I like that. I thought that was...
And I like that they... Alright, Rico, that's your one veto.
One person who has
the most Olympic gold medals of all time, two major
sports teams in Baltimore and Maryland,
three main Harry Potter characters, four...
What is that? Here's the University of Georgia
won the College Football National Championship.
Five big game events.
Oh, there you go, Rowan.
Seven wonders of the world is so many.
Six essential nutrients. Seven wonders
of the world. Eight events in youth
octathlon. Nine
great houses of Westeros.
Ooh!
Ten players to join multiple regular season.
MVP.
Ten NFL players to win multiple regular season MVP awards.
Okay.
I'm thinking of the Q words.
All right, go ahead, KB.
Yeah, what were those?
I think it's on me, brother.
Oh, really?
Oh, you won?
I think I won the last one, yeah.
And I win rarely enough that I was definitely going to remember anything. Oh, you won? I think I won the last one, yeah. And I win rarely enough that I was definitely going to remember anything.
You win a lot.
The Baltimore Orioles.
Nice.
Brady.
Tom Brady, I think.
The Ravens.
Harry Potter.
Oh, man.
Ron Weasley.
It was easy.
It was an easy one.
It was right there.
I'm such an idiot.
You wouldn't have got it.
Hermione Granger.
Oh, motherfucker.
Michael Phelps.
Is it?
Yeah.
Fate Manning. Wilps. Is it? Yeah.
Fate Manning.
Stark.
Oh, shit.
That's the houses? That's the houses?
Dan Marino.
Damn! Damn! Reno. Damn.
Damn.
You won one in his rookie or second year?
Never again?
2022.
2022.
2021.
There you go.
Let's go Brett Favre.
Elephant.
Nice.
Hippo.
Oh.
Don't beat yourself up.
Oh, no.
It's not.
Oh, my God.
You were just there.
I know.
I literally just.
Because the dentist got jammed up.
I think.
Is it a lion?
I can't believe I just said hippo.
You said hippo?
I literally just saw all five of these.
Patrick Mahomes.
Sorry, Za, Targaryen.
That's brutal.
How'd you do that, dude?
That's so brutal.
How'd you do that?
How'd you do that?
Oh!
As soon as I said it.
Lannister.
Oh, sorry.
It is you.
Lannister.
I think.
Yeah.
Taj Mahal?
Sorry, what was that?
Taj Mahal?
T-H-A-N-G-A.
I don't think it is, bro.
It isn't?
Yeah!
Fuck on that, hippo boy.
Are the pyramids a fucking thing?
It's Nick.
It's Nick.
It's Nick.
Baratheon.
Yeah, Baratheon.
Nice. Baratheon Yeah Baratheon Nice
I think a fucking nutrient is water
Essential nutrient would be water
Damn
Let's go Reek
Come on Reek
Fuck
Fuck
Rhino? I bet Fuck. Fuck.
Rhino?
I bet.
That's what I was looking for.
Alright.
Fucking hippo, like an idiot.
Kind of are the same things.
Did, uh... Greyjoy.
Reek?
G-R-E-Y.
I think.
J-O-Y?
Why?
Damn.
Emmett Smith fuck around and win multiple MVPs?
Is that your answer?
Yeah.
No.
Nice.
Ah.
Nick and Big Cat.
There can only be one.
80.
80.
Martel.
Fuck.
Oh.
Oh. Oh
Joe Montana
Yep
Fuck
Is giraffe a big game animal?
Fuck
Now I need one more
No I won
No you won.
Yes!
Wow.
It's the last day.
I want to see who the other MVPs are.
Yeah.
Leopard and a buffalo.
Steve Young.
Oh, yeah, Rogers.
Idiot.
Cut, Wona.
Okay, let's do one more.
Let's do it until I lose.
I'm going to go 10 in a row.
42. And Roan will get to Montau until I lose. I'm going to go 10 in a row. 42.
And Roan will get to Montauk on Sunday.
I'm fine with that.
It might not be that bad.
One person on the $2 bill.
Two 16 seeds that have upset one seed in the men's NCAA basketball tournament.
Three actors that played Spider-Man.
Four Atlanta Hawks to make the 2015 All-Star Game.
Five permanent members of the United Nations Security Council,
six time zones within the 50 states,
seven living generations, eight phases of the moon,
nine highest grossing movies in the 90s,
ten last Super Bowl MVPs.
Cat, it's on you.
All right, let's start with UMBC.
Christopher Reeve.
It's Spider-Man, not Superman.
It's Spider-Man, not Superman.
Oh, shit.
He said Topher Grace.
Okay.
Hold on a second.
I'm kidding. Did I misread the question?
You just back in?
No, I'm out.
Oh, no.
He's out.
All right, fine.
Kyle, after you had a terrible...
Yeah.
Andrew Garfield.
For Spider-Man?
Tom Holland. You guys-Man? Tom Holland.
You guys are just rubbing it in.
Tobey Maguire.
Must be nice to be close to the TV.
He's an EY.
He's a weirdo.
Farrelly Dickinson.
Nice.
Yo.
Yo! No. Dickinson. Nice. Yo.
Yo.
No.
No.
Just do Dickinson, maybe.
E-I-G-H.
I think.
Just try.
There it is.
Right after you.
This is a good one.
I think we're going to go deep on this one.
Who's that?
Yeah.
Kyle.
Eastern Standard.
Kyle Korver That was my one
That was my one
Titanic
My man
Central
Mountain
Nice
Nice Me? Mountain. Nice.
Nice.
Nice.
Me?
No, Rowan.
Pacific.
Oh, you stole that one.
Nice.
Pacific. Pacific.
I have no idea.
I think he just tweeted, it's going to be a great Saturday.
I'm going to have to work tomorrow I think he just tweeted it's going to be a great Saturday. Does he have to work tomorrow?
Is he in Australia?
He's off.
He doesn't have to work tomorrow.
Waxing Crescent.
No?
Patrick Holmes. You got it. I'm in
Holmes
Oh that's not fair
He took away two
Tom Brady
Whoa
Three brother
Nick Foles
Nice
You had it
You had it
Had to have it Roan Oh you had it Had to have it, Roan
Oh, you know what?
Had to have it
Wait, wait, wait
He didn't
Come on
Um
Waning Crescent
No
No, why?
And I
I think it's just one end No. No, why? And I.
I think it's just one end.
I could be wrong.
Got it.
Forrest Gump.
It's a tough one, boys.
Baby boomer.
Oh.
That's what that means.
Generation X.
Whoa!
You got Hawaii in that.
Damn.
Wait, what?
How did all that? Unleashed., what? How did all that?
Unleashed.
Hold on.
How did all that stuff just pop up? Grunt gets to sit out for one, two, three, four rounds.
I feel like Edelman fucked around in 1-1 when he had all those catches.
Edelman?
We're on to something.
Thank you.
Let's go with Vaughn Miller.
You guys are fucked.
Millennial.
I didn't know if that was the right.
Yeah, I don't think that's the right. Oh, he gave me a side eye.
Gen Z.
What do you call them as recent?
Do I go?
Yeah.
Paul Millsaps.
Two L's?
Nope.
Got it.
There it is, right?
Fuck.
They were nice in 15?
Yeah, the incredible first half.
Cooper Cup?
Wow.
I was going to say Stafford in that one.
I was like, ah, could it have been someone else?
Alpha.
Generation Alpha.
I know the...
I know...
Is that the one we're in right now?
The little kids.
Me?
I thought I knew.
Full moon. What are you Me? I need full moon.
What are you saying?
They're freaks.
Mission Impossible?
Maybe.
No, thanks.
Saving Private Ryan?
No.
Too depressing.
Wrong out.
It's just KB and Roan.
Not KB.
I'm out.
Sixth Sense.
Oh, good answer.
No, that was an Indy.
Good answer.
Rico didn't believe in you.
Indy.
Wayne and Gibbous.
My man.
You got that five permanent
is that like the country
US
waxing gibbous
this guy's got all the moons.
The UK.
Nice.
Nobody said sailor
yet.
This is so risky.
France.
Yeah.
I love it.
Fuck. China. Yeah. I love it. Fuck.
China.
China.
China.
Damn.
Come on, Rome.
Find it.
A new moon.
Damn.
He's just going to the well on the moon.
Damn.
Men in Black.
Wow. This is bad for me.
Al Horford?
Oh, no.
This might be the best game ever played.
Russia.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
You know that last MVP?
What year would it have been?
14.
15. 15.
It's starting at 14.
Oh, it went in order.
You're right.
Yes, you're right.
No, that's not in order.
It's not in any order.
I don't think so.
Is that the last one?
No, no, that's not.
Yeah, because we talk about the Patriots potentially going three in a row.
That might be an order.
I don't fucking know.
Yeah, that is an order.
I know it.
I have a guess, but I'm obviously.
What was the Patriots?
They're in a great.
Don't give anything away.
They're in a great standoff.
Jeff Teague.
Oh, no. Fuck. Oh! Jeff Teague Oh no Oh
What a pull
90
I thought that was going to be Josh Smith
I thought it was Joe Johnson
Who am I thinking?
Josh Smith
Oh my god
This is insane
How do we not know who's on a $2 bill?
I do not
Yeah, is it
No, I don't want to force you
Is it Aaron Burr?
Oh no, don't take that back
Are we taking things back?
Alexander Hamilton I meant
It's not
No
It might be Aaron Burr
No way
How about the Lion King?
Yeah.
Oh.
Cartoons.
Good shit.
Game.
In road.
Is it Andrew Jackson?
Is it Jackson?
Oh, no.
Is it Percy Harvin?
What year was Russ?
Yeah, Percy Harvin on the $2 bill.
So, Wilson.
Is it that defense?
No. Yes. I was going to say Seah, you know her, Bill. So, Wilson. Is it that defense?
No.
Yes.
I was going to say Seahawks defensive player.
Yes.
It is, right?
Percy Harvin won it?
No, I just know he returned a kick, so I thought maybe they... Oh, I think it's that defensive player.
Well, you have to say the name.
For the Seahawks, dude.
I don't know his name.
I don't know.
Thomas Jefferson on the two.
It is?
I just checked from that two that Nick gave me a while ago.
I thought there was no way he was going to be on it again.
You give up.
Yeah, you can give up.
Unless that's the Jurassic Park Star Wars Independence Day Star Wars.
Take a look.
OK, never mind.
It's just it's like her dad.
But who do you think that is?
Look, look like Roy Williams.
Jurassic Park. Malcolm Smith. You don't think anybody I say. Who do you think that is? Look like Roy Williams.
Malcolm Smith?
You don't think anybody I say looks like Roy Williams.
That doesn't look like Roy Williams.
Do you always think people look like Roy Williams?
No, I think people look like some dancer.
That does not look like Roy Williams.
All right.
Fair enough.
All right.
See you, everyone.
I don't know when you see me again.
See you then.
Tomorrow.
Yeah.
All right.
Have a good weekend, everyone. Thank you. It's the act. It's the act. That's time to talk shop and do a Yankees love.
It's the act.
It's the act.