The Yak - The Boys Get Their First Test From The Kiss Coin | The Yak 7-14-22
Episode Date: July 14, 2022Always HasYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Whoa!
Kyle?
Not to him.
Uh-oh.
Oh, no.
We got Roan coming in.
We got Roan.
You can be in here until Roan gets here.
Uh, no.
Oh, he can be here until Roan gets here.
Oh, wait.
Frank, we have a full show, but Roan's not here yet,
so you can sit in until Roan gets here. Nice shirt. Very nice shirt. Great shirt. Oh, wait. Frank, we have a full show, but Roan's not here yet, so you can sit in until Roan gets here.
Nice shirt.
Very nice shirt.
Great shirt.
Oh, the yak.
We'll do a Frank, yeah, 10 minutes before Roan gets here.
Did they lower these TVs on his neck?
Yeah, they did, actually.
No, you're very perceptive.
Yeah, Frank, sorry, we have a full show,
but you're here until Roan gets here.
All right.
Hello, everyone.
Hello.
Hello.
It feels so weird because yesterday we were just playing mini golf for fucking forever.
And then while it was happening, the best yak ever debuted.
Yeah, that was a legend.
Zaza legend.
But you are too, Nick.
Shirts are now on sale.
They're on my body.
Oh, shit.
These are your bodies for sale. That's a nice shirt. That was on my body. Oh, shit. Your body's for sale.
That's a nice shirt.
That was a quick turnaround.
Oh, fuck, yeah.
Look at that.
Oh, they're on no one's body as well.
They're on no one's body as well.
Yeah, they're pretty sick, and explaining it should be easy.
If anybody asks what the shirt is.
First off, do you know what a Rube Goldberg machine is?
Yeah, I don't even know where you would start.
No.
I think you have to start with creation.
Yeah.
You start with the history of the M&M.
The history of the M&M.
Then you also have to go from the history of the M&M
to the history of football
to then the history of Zah coming to Barstool.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Then like the Yak.
You got to hope they stick Through the ten minutes
On Scott Payne
Which may be the hardest
Because I still don't know
What Juice is Wild is
I don't know
I don't think I know
It's open for interpretation
Oh fuck
And then
That turned into
KB's Wild
Yeah
You know
Yeah
You know the Eminem
Was actually invented
In Newark
Newark, New Jersey
There you go
That's the beginning of it
Huh
It wasn't Hershey Is Hershey's own Eminem No Ours Ours invented in Newark Newark New Jersey there you go that's the beginning of it
wasn't Hershey is Hershey's own M&M ours ours I'm an idiot damn that was day one
shit they want you wow I feel stupid I used to be a more than both be a Mars
plant in Newark and leading up to World War two they wanted to create a candy
that would not melt and that's how they invented the M&M, the hard shell.
For the troops.
Does the M&M not melt?
Oh, yes.
It's in your mouth, not your hand.
It's far away.
It would not melt.
Yeah, remember?
Seen from Tommy Boy.
And they did it.
It doesn't melt.
They really did it.
I would love to take a tour of a chocolate factory.
I actually took a tour of Hershey Park about six weeks ago.
Oh, Frank, how were all of the Hall of Fames?
Oh, yeah.
The Hall of Fames are good.
You know, I'd rank baseball.
Can we get an updated power ranking?
Yeah.
Baseball is like the grand Hall of Fame of the mall.
Plus, you have the village of Cooperstown.
Yep.
The NFL Hall of Fame is good, but you know what?
I think it needs a little bit of renovation.
It needs a little upgrade.
They're doing some construction around the NFL Hall of Fame,
and I sense that there's going to be some upgrades to it in the future.
Okay.
The Hockey Hall of Fame is in a former bank.
It's got a stained glass window, a ceiling in this one area
where they have all the trophies and all the players,
they don't have a bus.
They have bus for football.
They have plaques for baseball and they have these glasses, these engraved glass plates
for every Hall of Famer.
And then basketball just...
The NBA contributes nothing to the Hall of Fames.
You know, in the Football Hall of Fame, you have every Super Bowl ring.
In the Baseball Hall of Fame, you have nearly every World Series ring.
Yeah.
And the Hockey Hall of Fame, you have, like, maybe about half the Stanley Cup rings.
The only rings in the NBA Hall of Fame are the ones that Kobe had.
And his wife gave, like, a big contribution to the Hall of Fame
because Kobe supported the Hall of Fame.
She gave his rings up?
Yes.
That's crazy.
That is crazy.
So the only championship rings.
He's not a down ass.
I'm just saying, keep them for the kids.
Yeah.
For the next generation.
It's not all the way down. generation you give something to the hall of fame
you don't necessarily give it to the hall of fame
you loan it to the hall of fame
and it's there for everyone
to see
that was remember the Darren Revell
he was like when
he went viral because he had
Martin Luther King's signature
which was actually just him trying to sign for mail
in prison
he was like I've offered to sign for mail in prison. Yeah.
He's like, I've offered to loan it to a museum.
Yeah, thanks, man.
He's like, cool.
Yeah, that's how a brain who doesn't experience emotions works.
Yeah.
I have his autograph.
Because it probably is worth a lot of money.
Yeah.
He factored that in.
That entered his brain.
He knew there would be a Martin Luther King Day every year.
So every year we'd be remembering him.
But the Basketball Hall of Fame, the NBA doesn't do anything, doesn't contribute to it.
They don't have as many archives and many things on display.
It just – and they don't have plaques.
They have a computer terminal where you can look up all the Hall of Famers.
I mean it's kind of pathetic how bad the Basketball Hall of Fame is. That's just Google. Yeah, you just use Google up all the Hall of Famers. I mean, it's kind of pathetic how bad the Basketball Hall of Fame is.
Yeah, that's just Google.
Yeah, you just use Google to look up all the names.
Yeah, you could just do it at home.
I mean, it really is sad that they don't have,
and they have all the names written on a wall.
I mean, what are you doing, basketball?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
You're still giving them money.
Yeah, you went in.
When I was in middle school, my dad,
uncle, brother, and I went to the Baseball Hall of Fame
and on the way home, we stopped
at the Burger Hall of Fame and
proceeded to all get horrible food poisoning.
Hyria for like two days.
I remember my dad and my uncle working on the roof
when we got home and they were both vomited
off the roof. What?
Burger Hall of Fame.
Burger Hall of Fame. It was just a shitty restaurant in the boonies on the way there. It wasn't? Burger Hall of Fame. Burger Hall of Fame. It was just a shitty restaurant
in the boonies on the way there.
It wasn't an actual Hall of Fame.
You should open a Hall of Fame.
The front room of my apartment is the Nick Museum.
There's a bunch of Nick artifacts.
It's growing
into the hallway. Anything can be a museum.
If anybody wants to send anything into the Nick Museum,
I will accept.
What if we did a Yak Hall of Fame?
I don't know why I noticed it, but Dad, Uncle, Brother, and I spells Dubai.
Dad, Uncle, Brother.
Wow.
Galaxy brain.
Whoa.
Sending a message?
She is.
Hello.
It just came in.
I had to get it out.
For anyone listening.
Very impressive work.
For an operative.
The Yak Hall of Fame would be sick.
The Yak Hall of Fame would be awesome.
We should just do it in a closet up here.
Now, I've got to say, I'm a little disappointed when I saw the Yak,
Return of the Yak poster.
I mean, come on, you could have put my face on Jabba the Hutt.
Francis did.
He didn't make those.
He didn't make those.
All right, all right.
Fair play, fair play.
You know, going to the Hockey Hall of Fame means going to Canada.
Oh, yeah.
And I saw Niagara Falls.
Niagara Falls on the Canadian side is fun.
It's got like mini golf, all these restaurants, shops.
Then you get to the American side and it's...
But I guess we have...
Oh, you brought us money.
Canadian money?
Are you bribing us?
I mean, so you had to get the Canadian money,
and this, I mean, the feel of it is like, I don't know.
Is it better or worse?
I like this.
This is like show and tell.
This is 100% show and tell.
Frank went to Canada.
He brought back money.
Is that the money you can't rip?
Yeah, this is...
Yeah, they're better straws than American.
Are these loonies?
No, loonie is a coin.
And how much is a $5 can?
Yeah, these do feel weird.
Are they like plastic?
Rear is salivating upstairs.
Oh, they're thin.
Oh, they're plasticky.
Interesting.
Mr. Ferone's pulling up.
Frank, anything else from your trip
they have a woman on their money
I guess you'll have to save the rest for later
but yeah
but it sounded like a good trip
it was a good trip
tell us everything else
finish your trip recap
and then Rone will come back
was this your first time out of the country
yes it was, actually.
Okay.
So give us the whole
highlights.
So, well, you know, I
went through Pennsylvania,
went through the
Cleveland Guardians
game where it took
three hours.
It did not get into
the stadium to the
third inning because
they have too few
people.
Oh, no.
The lines took
forever.
Yes.
You can't rip it, Roan.
Did you get a good hot dog in Toronto?
I found some good hot dog places in Toronto.
Actually, in Ontario, a couple places.
Roan's going to try to rip your $5 bill.
No, no, no.
No, rip the $5.
See if you can rip the $5.
The $5 is substantially more rippable.
Oh.
You can't do it.
You're not able to do it.
Oh, you're so weak.
Frank, what is this?
Play money?
You know, we might offend our Canadian viewers if you say that.
The hell?
Can you actually not rip them?
Oh, that's something to challenge.
Let me add it.
Maple syrup sealant.
Yeah, he's in a tank today.
Bro.
Oh, the merch team has me on a leash.
They made me do this.
They made you do another ad?
They're about to extort me, yeah.
You're about to have the most fire talkies ad.
I have to wear the fucking tank.
I actually went to the USFL championship game.
You're expensive steroids now.
What?
You get expensive steroids?
I went to the USFL championship.
I'm not doing steroids.
USFL championship.
Did it sell out?
Yes, it was.
The stadium was full.
What?
Wow, you went to the championship game?
Yeah, USFL championship. Who won? Who performed at halftime? That was won by full. What? Wow, you went to the championship game? Yeah, USFL championship.
Who won?
That was won by Birmingham.
Ooh.
And they were scanning the crowd.
They're playing, you know how they do it at door timeouts.
And there was this one woman wearing a Michigan shirt.
Okay.
And the crowd booed.
That's awesome.
And then she goes.
Oh, okay, that's great. The gestural boo.ed. That's awesome. And then she goes, oh, okay, that's great.
The gestural boo.
That's fucking great.
I mean, that was just classic.
You're right.
I went to Cincinnati.
Yep.
Skyline?
Skyline, yes.
I tried Skyline.
That review will be out one of these days.
Okay, nice. uh stayed at the uh
wheat town hotel nice probably the best hotel i spent spent that that's ours
very good hotel crossed the border came back uh uh was driving in uh upstate New York in heavy fog conditions at like indestructible money.
Okay.
Didn't even bite through it?
What's that made out of?
A hat brim?
Damn.
All right.
What else?
Anything else?
But yeah, they also saw the birthplace of baseball in Hoboken.
No, that's not. That was. baseball in Hoboken. No, it...
But that's not...
That was...
You lived right there.
Yeah, but...
Okay, count it, count it.
On the road trip.
Yep, count it.
That was like the final...
That was like the last stop.
So you were like about to be home and you're like,
let's...
We haven't done enough history.
Let's go to the birthplace of baseball.
Yes.
With Doubleday, right?
No, Doubleday was the alleged guy.
Who's the other guy? It's Alexander
Cartwright and the New York Knickerbocker. Yeah, but
unfortunately for Alexander Cartwright,
Abner Doubleday is just a memorable
name. Oh, he's burning it.
That's probably not a good idea.
Oh, no. It is destructible.
See, it's not our
laws. Oh, you can't
ruin this? I feel like that plastic could hurt your fingers. I feel like it could not our laws. Oh, you can't ruin this?
I feel like that plastic could hurt your fingers.
I feel like it could hurt your lungs.
That's going to hurt all of our lungs.
You owe Frank a five Canadian.
You owe him five Canuck.
It's a polymer.
All right, well, Frank, thank you very much.
We appreciate it.
It was a good trip.
Oh, that smells so bad.
I can't smell
wafted over here.
So bad.
It's straight
in the KB's lungs.
Hold on.
It hits harder
than that or Kratom.
Who's this gentleman?
But yeah,
it was a good trip.
The Hall of Fames,
I recommend them all
even.
Why don't you get over here?
Yeah.
You're awful.
Sit on Frank's lap.
What about the rock and roll?
Have you been to rock and roll?
You said the NBA
was terrible, no? Yeah, even the basketball Hall of Fame, you know it's horrible. Yeah on Frank's lap. What about the rock and roll? You said the NBA was terrible, no?
Yeah, even the
basketball fame,
even though it's
horrible.
I wouldn't want to
go all the way there
if it was horrible
personally.
And it's also
Western Massachusetts
which is also
not a fun place.
Although, I did a
hot dog review at a
place that had a
car show.
Oh.
Very American, yeah.
What was the best car you saw?
Oh, dude, you had cars from the 1910s.
Wow.
How'd you say it?
The 1910s.
How'd you say it like that?
Sounded like content cam.
Well, I was halfway between saying 1910s and the 1910s.
Yeah.
Stuck in the middle.
The 1910s.
All right.
Well, Frank, thank you.
All right.
Appreciate it. It was a great time. I'm excited to check out the videos. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Stuck in the middle. 10th. Yes. All right. Well, Frank, thank you. All right. Appreciate it.
It was great to catch up.
Yeah, I'm excited to check out the videos.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes.
Absolutely.
Yes.
And, of course, my slideshows.
And your slideshows.
Yes.
A lot of slideshows last week.
Frank, before you head off, any plans to make any ribs again?
Eventually.
Eventually with Chef Donny's assistance, I'm going to try to reconquer the ribs.
What else you got, Sass?
You got a few more?
No, that was it.
What about this?
You make ribs that are exclusively for ladies.
Please.
You call them ribs for her pleasure.
Is that good, Frank?
Is that good or what?
Women need it.
Women are real.
Or would it be Adam's ribs?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Adam's ribs for her pleasure.
Yeah, get her eating. Oh, Adam. It's for her pleasure. Get her eaten.
Oh, nice.
Boss of the family told you you're Santa Claus.
You're Santa Claus.
R.I.P.
Yeah, you knew that?
Yeah.
Rest in peace.
All right, well, thank you, Frank.
We appreciate it.
Great to see you.
Great catching up.
Great shirt.
Everyone buy it.
Frank's a company man through and through.
Through and true.
Let's see what we have.
Shop Wood.
Oh, there it is.
Shop Wood.
Golden Hour.
Getwood.com or your local CVS.
They have all the products.
Shop Wood.
Golden Hour.
Getwood.com or your local CVS.
Speaking of wood, how's Tiger doing?
That's a good one to go out on.
Yeah, that's a great one to go out on.
That doesn't even deserve the drum monkey.
We actually have a presentation by Steven today.
Speaking of Steven, Steven Tyler.
Yep.
What?
Steven Seagal.
Oh, that was better.
Seagal would have been good.
Steven Tyler died?
No.
Oh, rumors get started. He's on a diet been good. Steven Tyler died? No. Oh. Rumors get started.
He's on a diet.
On a diet.
Che fucked O'Day.
Yeah, so we have...
I was just doing...
Frank just did his name.
We have a...
Way to be late, Roan.
Now it's the real Tank Thursday.
Kyle, those arms, baby.
Oh!
Hello!
Show me something.
Show me a little something.
Eyes up here.
Don't go down here.
Don't look down here.
He's a barbell guy.
Oh, no.
Barbell's all you like.
Yeah, Frank slipped me a Finske to be 10 minutes late today
so we could get a couple takes off.
That he did.
He's my boy.
We were talking about how weird it is that we just, like,
I don't even remember yesterday's episode because we taped it on Monday,
but it was the best ever.
Yeah, that shit was fucking awesome.
Zah, absolute legend.
Legend.
Nick also a legend.
Oh, no, no.
Kate also a legend for giving birth.
I'm going to say right now, if I ever end up getting KB's wild,
I'm going to need your assistance, Nick.
Sure, yeah.
I'll write.
I had a lot of fun doing it.
It was nice.
Like that.
You did.
I was first one.
Like he had a lot of time.
And yeah, I think it just takes like a few days of prep work.
Yeah.
So that will be the rule.
Thank you, Nick.
Nick's a gamesman, too.
He likes games.
That was.
Yeah.
I would love to do that exact one over again.
Yeah.
For you.
Yeah.
Now there's plenty.
There's a lot of options for it i also think that uh we
should make an amendment to the wet wheel because it was funny but it was also like you know it
can't happen too often i think if the wet wheel gets hit on any time in the next three months so
it's a three month running clock if we hit it only one person gets wet i like that i like that a lot
more that's three months we all get wet people do want it they do but we don't need to do like if we hit it, only one person gets wet. I like that. I like that a lot more. And then if it's three months, then we all get wet.
People do want it.
No, they do, but we don't need to do it.
Like, if we hit it, like, next week, then it wouldn't be funny.
Stakes are so much higher if it's one person.
And if it's one person, it's a lot more.
My only issue was it would deter the riffing,
and it didn't really do that.
But that would be the clock.
So if we don't get it wet for three months, we all get wet otherwise it's one person because i think that is very harrowing
if one person has to get wet what's that october 14th yep you got it you nailed it i think a lot
of people in the audience were saying the same thing too where it's like kind of lost it's fresh
yeah even though it had been a long time yeah March 1st is the last one. Yeah, we'll always
adjust. We've adjusted. We took off
what else did we take off?
Oh, Monster Rip, yeah. And I think food, right?
I did not kill it.
He killed it.
I didn't. I said I would do it the next day.
You said vibes are off.
Vibes are off.
Sorry, you killed the vibes that led to
Oh, it was someone was complaining on the internet, sorry. You killed the vibes that led to this. Oh, it was someone.
Someone was complaining on the internet.
That's who killed the vibes?
Yeah, that guy did.
And that had nothing to do with me.
He was half of it.
He was half of it.
All right, should we spin it?
Because then we need to get Stephen's presentation.
Oh, yeah.
Stephen's in a lot of trouble.
Oh, yeah, this is serious.
The wood wheel.
Fast.
Give us fast.
Try.
What is fast?
I want somebody in a cast.
Yeah, I want the cast weird
I was thinking about it too
That's so bad
But like
Being able to scratch it
Oh get a stick in there
I was thinking about the cast as well
I think if someone ends up in the cast
We have to also concoct the story
They have to tell everyone
Yeah
Yes
Where do they have to get
Do they get to pick where they get the cast?
We have somebody that can get the cast
An arm
Okay
It's like we could call a nurse or something.
This is going to turn into the LA challenges, though.
It's going to be hard to do.
So we need to have a plan of how and when exactly we're going to get the cast.
I think you can buy a cast online.
I don't want an air cast.
I want it like Super Mache.
Somebody could come in here and do it.
I bet you you could find somebody who would love to come in here and do it.
Yeah.
I don't know.
What is that called, that type of cast?
Hard cast?
Hard cast?
No, it's not an air cast.
Hard arm cast.
Hard arm cast.
It can't be that hard to make.
That's the cast of every Quentin Tarantino movie.
Okay, so we have an issue.
On yesterday's show, we were telling people to drink wood,
our wonderful sponsor.
Zero calories.
And then someone did drink wood.
Many people.
Yeah, many people.
They're calling it the next Tide Pod.
Yeah.
Very similar challenge.
So Steven is to blame because Steven is our quality control manager on this show.
And he let us just say that,
which we didn't know that was against the rules.
You even played along.
We asked him multiple times,
hey, Steven, is this okay before we proceed?
Stop us if anything is wrong.
Didn't stop us.
Also, Steven, did you size up in t-shirt?
Because that shirt looks good on you.
Did you size up a little bit?
It looks like it fits you well.
Yes, actually I did.
Whoa.
I thought you might have sized up.
Looks good, dude.
What is that sizing up for?
Is it just... L to XL.
I don't know if that's something to be happy about or something or not.
That's fine.
L and XL are the same size.
Yeah.
How are you gaining weight on Tom Brady's diet?
I'm lifting more.
Oh.
I knew it.
Interesting.
Size up, dude.
I think the size up was the best move that you've made this year.
Thank you.
Che, what was that meal that you were eating the other day?
Lifted content this year.
Oh, I know.
It was a reheated burger with black beans and avocado.
Oh, okay.
I just cut up the burger.
You were getting flamed for that.
Yeah, I realized it didn't look the best.
All right, so you got our presentation?
Yes.
Oh, you're goofy socked today as well, right?
Steven fucked up tremendously.
I don't know if we will probably be legally fucked.
Show the video we got.
There's blood on Steven's hand.
You can't show it?
It's morbid.
Yeah, the kid got very...
It looked like a live leak.
It was grainy footage.
The kid's probably dead.
We know them, too.
It was Dio from the live show.
It was Dio.
Shotgunning award.
Granted, he shotgunned it.
It could have been opened up and filled with another substance.
No, it couldn't have.
You saw it.
It was wood.
I thought that at first it couldn't have.
Yeah, and Steven didn't stop us,
and it is his job to stop us from doing that,
so now we have to have a...
We're basically being taken to school.
Yep.
These are the do's and don'ts of the ad game.
I'm not going to watch this.
You have to.
Is that a double apostrophe?
Yes.
Rare.
Very rare.
Do's and don'ts.
Wait.
Wow, yeah.
I didn't know.
That can't be right.
That's not right. It can't be right. I think it's well documented. My knowledge of apostrophes don'ts. Wait. Wow, yeah. I didn't know. That can't be right. That's not right.
It can't be right.
I think it's well documented.
My knowledge of apostrophes isn't great.
Yeah.
Don't do.
I would have said do's and don't do's.
Get the word don'ts.
Bring back up don'ts so Kyle can get it.
Double apostrophe on a word.
I don't know if that's legal.
It's not technically wrong.
That actually legally makes it that this entire presentation is void.
No, none of it's.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can't make a mistake on the opening slide.
Yeah.
I'll tell you what it would have been.
Yeah.
It's pluralized.
It doesn't need an apostrophe.
Okay.
All right, we'll start with the deuce.
What's going through your head when you did the double apostrophe?
Are you going to have examples?
Like, last time it was all the foreplay ads.
Yeah.
It's too yak.
If this is anything like the last one, let's just skip the whole thing.
Wait, wait, wait.
Go back to that slide.
So when you typed that out, were you like, well, I know how to spell don't.
And then I just added another one.
I mean, I don't have a red squiggly line under it, so I don't think it's.
Oh, you would follow that to the.
I mean, that's the thing's job, so...
Try to spell it like Dante Hightower.
So you're
pawning this off. You're saying the red
squiggly line is the one... I don't actually
know that this is incorrect.
Spelled Shakespearean-ly.
I don't know. A lot of motherfuckers
do this. You're pluralizing. You're not
doing possession,
so you don't need them at all.
I'm tweeting out the do's and don'ts.
We'll see how many people catch this one.
Owen's right.
Dose and don'ts.
No, do's and don'ts.
You just don't need the apostrophe.
It's D-O-N-T-S.
Right.
Okay.
Sure.
So my apostrophes still need work.
Well, a lot of times when you pluralize without an apostrophe it looks
off-putting like do's
without an apostrophe would look like dose
right I guess don't
I don't know the grammatical
rules this is more for you guys
I'm not going to attack you thank you
KB
mentally physically
he might attack you physically
why don't you guys wrestle first you go double apostrophe Let's get into the do's Mentally, physically He might attack you physically He's looking to wrestle
Why don't you guys wrestle first?
Do you go double apostrophe again on the next part of the don'ts?
Let's see
I would like to see the do's
Alright, the do's
That's terrible
There's no picture
You also can't even see the do
Jesus
Diagrams
This is an essay
This is terrible
Steven you were an ad guy
Like two weeks ago
You've already lost all your skills
I realize what the issue is
My guess is the computer that we're using here
Does not have PowerPoint.
So it's translated
to Keynote
which doesn't necessarily
do much text.
Yeah, my God.
Run us through this.
Okay.
Impossible to look at.
Yeah, that's
definitely tough
because there's a video.
I have no idea
if these are the do's or don'ts.
I'm going to assume
these are the don'ts.
No, this is the do.
I'm going to assume
it's the don'ts.
Okay.
Can we open this in Google?
Would that do it different?
Because it's in Keynote right now.
Well, that Steven actually made this.
Because what other result would be than us just giving him hell for this?
Yeah.
It was written in size 4.5.
Do you think as he was making it, he was like, I'm going to teach these guys.
Yeah, this is going to be good.
Oh, I do.
I'm happy Big Cat asked me to do this.
A lot of info.
All right, so this may work.
All right, so do give high-add visibility to ideally do the read in the first 20 minutes.
Generally, you see more shows.
Wait, this is the first 30 minutes?
You guys already did it.
All right, okay, so let me just, but this is the first 30 minutes. Well, you guys already did it. This is the first 30 minutes.
You guys already did it. You don't have to do it again.
Let me just do it again because that's good, right?
Shopwood, Woods Golden Hour,
getwood.com or your local CVS.
You can find it in the chip aisle because it is edible.
You can shotgun it or drink it.
Or you can actually use it
if you want to make nachos, wood nachos.
I heard of them.
And it now comes in conditioner flavor.
Yes.
Come on.
What?
We haven't gotten to the dough.
Yes.
It's not bad tasting.
You can use it for sex.
Yes.
And you can.
It is a lubricant.
I heard that.
Zero calories, 20 grams of protein.
And granted, you can't die if you drink it, but that's if you choke on it.
That's any food.
Yes.
That's any single food.
So you don't have to warn that.
Yeah.
And it's very hard to choke on.
I give it to my baby all the time.
And you will notice that our ad guy is not saying anything,
which means it's 100% true.
The lemon flavor is translate.
We're nailing this ad.
All right, let's just go to the don'ts.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
We're going to the do's.
What else?
What else?
Be organic.
Can you make it big again?
Be organic.
Personally endorse the products and speak to the features you like about them.
Go out to Chris.
I love the taste of wood.
And it's organic, too.
Yeah, it is organic.
Very organic.
A lot of people ask, what's the best way to get in at Barstool?
It's by consuming, ingesting our best products.
And Dio did that, and I think he's on the fast track.
Right.
At least got a speedy pass.
That's organic.
I don't want any of this on our
hands.
I thought it was electric when
Dio chugged the wood.
I don't want any on our hands either.
He's right. So just go straight from the bottle.
He goes great with wings.
I literally made a serious presentation.
We know. Again, we know.
Go on.
Again, when I said on the group text last night, I want a presentation, this is exactly how I envisioned it going.
I've actually been trying out a new recipe where you take a dude wipe and you fill it with wood and you kind of fold it like a dumpling.
Put it in the microwave for 30 seconds. I did that a lot in college.
It's like when you come home late at night drunk,
you got to scrape up ingredients.
That's the one.
30 seconds in the microwave and you're good to go.
Okay.
All right.
Go off script.
Talking points are a guide except for the call to action,
adding in personal anecdotes.
Oh, okay.
I've actually been putting my wood in a spoon and heating it up yeah better intravenously yeah that way
what i actually do is if you can see right here i think the picture is someone in their bird dogs
the inner lining in bird dogs you can cut them out and you can tie it on
when you want to shoot up your wood. The mesh is actually more
conducive.
It's a personal anecdote.
This is the worst thing I've ever done.
I've been marinating.
I'm just
telling you this.
Should we go on script then?
I don't know.
We're following the deuce.
We're going to close out this slide.
Show off the product if possible.
It's always nice to show the product.
All right, give me some of that wood right now.
I'll fucking take a sip.
Yeah, shout out Dio.
Jay, there's not a lot of don'ts.
Don'ts are the next slide.
But yeah, there are actually fewer don'ts, but it's pretty basic.
Okay, all right.
Green apple, orange, or I'll sound delicious.
Banana.
That's not the flavor.
Do you have any pear? I think we finished off the pear. Banana. That's not the flavor. Do you have any pear?
I think we finished off the pear.
Okay.
Ace race.
Is that butterscotch or lemon?
You're talking about the pomade?
That's butterscotch.
This is butterscotch.
Butterscotch.
Ooh.
All right.
So are we at the don'ts?
Yeah, let's just move to the don'ts.
Okay.
Don't talk about the products being used in unintended ways.
Yes.
See the example on the right.
So you wouldn't want to wash with this kind of stuff.
What's the example on the right?
All right, what is this?
It's a video of yesterday's.
Can we play it?
So when it comes to what less is more,
you don't want to lather it all over your whole body.
Just focus on the mouth.
It's topical.
It's a topical shampoo.
Okay.
Don't put the advertiser at risk in conversation.
Stay away from cursing and controversial topics during the ad.
Do not bash the advertiser.
That is pain to the advertiser.
There is no risk to drinking this.
And don't mention the advertiser's competitors.
So Old Space tastes okay, but it's cold and it's spicy.
I used to be a Dove drinker.
Now it's just wood in this belly.
I started having an acid reflux problem
when I was on Dove.
So wait, no, this is the don'ts, right?
We're showing how not to do this.
Yeah.
Yes.
Okay, good.
All right, nice.
I think we're nailing this.
Can the Yak Twitter account
just take Big Cat's coffee tweets
and just put wood over top of
coffee every morning please don't do that um we won't put that example wait what why it's just
the read from yesterday okay all right what did we say in that read was it a don't or a do pretty
much exactly the guys the stuff you guys have said today. Which is what? Talking about the
Hall of Fames?
Yeah, pretty much
Burger Hall of Fame.
Are we not allowed
to say it's delicious
because that's objective?
Or that's subjective?
You're not supposed
to editorialize.
You're not supposed
to ingest any of that.
I did not enjoy
receiving that video
last night.
Are you saying that
ingest?
Ingest, yeah.
You received it from who?
From Dio. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I thought you received it from who? From Dio.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Our co-worker.
Should we just show that?
Should we just show that video?
So we can't legally.
I'm pretty sure we can't legally.
But we do need to do a memorial for him because he's fucking bad.
Yeah.
What about a reenactment?
I was actually surprised you were in the office today, Che.
I thought you'd be at the wake.
Oh, they ran out of wood. So there's no free wood at the wake.
Free shots of wood.
All right.
Well, he convinced all his family and friends to eat it as well.
An empty free roll.
Okay, what's the next one?
Is this the last slide?
Yeah, this whole presentation is presented by the new Yak shirt.
Immortalize this moment in Yak history.
Get it here.
Barstool.link slash thecatchyak.
The size up is incredible.
Thank you.
Nice.
So you put an ad inside the ad.
Correct.
That's fucking genius.
Thank you.
Great.
Great job.
Great job.
Thank you.
Do you think it went well?
No, I don't.
I'm probably going to get reached out to about this.
Did someone shout at you last night?
What?
What did you say?
Get reached out to about this from people that work here.
Is that awkward?
Is that awkward because they see you and they're like, you're free now?
You're Andy Dufresne?
You're on the other side of the Berlin Wall?
Not at all. I still like
everybody upstairs and talked to a few of them
yesterday. Talk shit about one of them.
Who's the worst?
It can't be Rezzy. No, no, no.
They could still be good, but they'd be the worst of the bunch.
The newest person? What?
Who's the worst? You guys already know.
I just said his name.
He doesn't work here anymore.
No, but you've You gotta have someone current
There's gotta be a current
Whoa
No
Everyone up there is very nice
Such a politician
Do you ever accidentally
Go up there
And you're like
Oh fuck I don't work here anymore
Bad dream
No
No I was on purpose
Okay
Steven that was very good
Thank you for the opportunity
What else we got going on
He goes up there with like the same exact personality
As the freshman in college going back to his high school
Oh yeah
You guys are still here
We gotta get Buddha Ben in here
I'm gonna be honest
I am addicted to mini golf
Yeah
All I wanna do today
And there's a new indoor Course It's like hip mini golf. Yeah. All I want to do today is mini golf.
And there's a new
indoor course.
It's like hip.
Well, the puttery.
Romad.
The puttery is coming
to New York City.
That was our
sponsor.
It's called Swingers.
You like that, Steven?
That was nice.
I'm watching them putt
and I want to be doing
that right now.
All I want to do is putt.
Yeah.
It was a lot of fun.
It is addicting.
I wish there was,
there has to be like
adult leagues. Like I was in an adult bocce league fun. It is addicting. I wish there was, there has to be like adult leagues.
Like I was in an adult bocce league in Queens
and that was fun.
I wish they had that.
There has to be.
You were in a bocce league?
I used to be when I lived in Queens.
Used to be too.
I was in a bowling league.
That's great.
Such a late.
Let's start our own league.
Bowling league is so much fun.
We have been offered by the son of the owner
of the sand trap where I won my tournament to do.
Say that again.
Son of the owner. Yeah, the course where he won. The course where I won. The son of the person of the sand trap where i where i want to do say that again son of the oh okay yeah
the course where he won the title of the person that owns it yes you do a show out there and have
a like a tournament well we'll have to wait till our tournament airs because we don't want to
good thing we just did that yeah mini golf tournament that will just air right before
but i am down to do that.
I think that would be a lot of fun.
No, you're right.
We should have people design yak holes.
Well, could we do a live yak show that's just us all competing in mini golf against each other?
That's what I meant to convey.
Like us walking around with mics on and just doing a yak but also playing.
I think that's the idea that this guy had.
Live? Can the 18th hole
be a Rube Goldberg
yes
that would actually be fun
because we could set it up
like we could even set it up
we start
and like
anyone who gets a
double bogey
they're eliminated
until we end up
with one person
what's the farthest
we could go
too for it
like how far
could we travel today
yesterday
oh
Sitka
yesterday was very far yesterday was very far yeah Long Island It's the hardest we could go, too, for it. Like, how far could we travel to just sit there? Oh, probably. Sitka?
Yesterday was very far.
Yesterday was very far.
Yeah, Long Island is long. The job is so hard, dude.
I didn't know it was aptly named.
I want to fly, and I want us all to have, like,
little, like, carry-on bags for our putters.
Like, if we look really professional.
Cool sharks.
Yeah.
Nick, what if that's what you put on your land?
Oh!
What if Nick Land is a mini golf course?
Somebody found the exact plot.
And the museum.
It's not big enough for mini golf.
Full-size golf?
Mini golf isn't that mini.
It isn't.
We need to redefine mini.
I want a mini golf course in my house.
Sass had a meltdown.
Yeah, you did.
When?
All week. He didn't have a meltdown? I wasn't in your house. Sass had a meltdown. Yeah, you did. When? All week.
I didn't have a meltdown.
Boy!
I wasn't in your group.
I didn't see it.
Roan was the catalyst.
Oh, I did have a meltdown the first round.
Yes, I did.
Sass also, I learned this week,
he's shy to pee in a bottle.
I am, yes.
It is.
In my defense, you were looking back at my penis.
Oh, yeah.
I was driving on the highway.
What was the bottle?
It was a wide mouth.
Wide mouth.
His fat cock could not fit in.
Not his fat cock.
Every time he's about to start, I just look back up.
He would just look back.
Just let him see your dick.
Joke's on him.
He's looking at dick.
I have a shy bladder.
He's a meat gazer.
Kate, did you see my penis yesterday?
What?
Easy. Wait, what? Oh. Kate, did you see my penis yesterday? What? Oh!
Kate was searching
for it. You can't smile and nod
after that. Kate kind of nodded.
You can't smile and nod after that, dude.
What?
Kate was penis hunting
yesterday.
She legitimately might have.
Before we left, it was very hot, and so I said, yesterday. She legitimately might have. Hear me out. Arrest this man.
Before we left, it was very hot. And so I said,
can I get two pina coladas for the bus ride
home from the bartender?
I have two pina coladas. It was a long, hot day in the sun.
I immediately, after I drank them, was like a little
not on my A game.
So I have to pee. And I go in the back
of the bus. And there was no
vacancy thing. And I look and I'm like, looks like all
the guys are here. All the guys are in the back of the the bus and so I open the door and there's Tommy Smokes
in the bathroom I open the door on him by accident wait a pause I believe this was I have no idea how
this is gonna get to seeing Chase yeah he turned around from the bathroom and just had his dick out
right his dick on her shoulder
why did Tommy Smokes lock the door though though? There was no lock on the door.
I didn't know that.
We did.
I believe we did say, hey, someone's in there.
Well, I was fuzzy.
10 to 15 times.
I was fuzzy.
I like that.
As she then proceeded to talk.
I don't give a fuck.
I yanked Tommy Smokes out of that.
I just talk.
Look at this.
What are you going to use this for mister
I have a small bladder so by the end of the trip I had to pee again
so I go back again and they're like this time they're like
okay someone in there's I know it's like oh haha you're saying that because I opened the door on Tommy's smoke
so I don't believe them so I open the door and there's Stephen
J whacking off.
In the bathroom.
Spent a day in heat.
That time though it was literally like 10 people
like Kate, someone's in the bathroom and her
just be like, her acknowledging
it and then still just going
into the bathroom.
Every single time.
So did you see it? I don't know. into the bathroom. Every single time. Yeah. He pecks me. So, wait.
So, did you see it?
I don't know.
Oh, that's how bad it is.
Oh, bro.
That's way worse than any alternative.
Bird mutter.
Sucks.
That does mean, yes, I did.
That's all you had?
That's all you had.
She didn't know if it was a dick.
So, the light didn't work in the bathroom.
Were you able to find it?
The dick? No, the light. Oh, the light didn't work in the bathroom. Were you able to find it? The dick?
No, the light.
The overhead light.
No, there was no light.
So it was just darkness.
So it was literally dark.
You're blaming the lighting?
The light didn't work.
Literally no light in the bathroom.
So I actually turned my flashlight on, which you guys showed me how to do on my phone.
So that he could show me his penis because it was dark.
I have a penis.
Wait, hold on.
Turn the light. My dick's out. I have a penis wait hold on turn the light
my dick's out
I feel like you didn't
see it the first time
here it is
you did the
Steven made like a
fucking wall puppet
the light
like when a dad's
telling a scary story
with the
underneath his
balls
yeah
I didn't mean to do that
I walked in on two people
on the bus
where
well who's
who's looking better
i thought tommy smokes was holding a thing of wood yeah i thought it was a sleeve of tennis
balls he's holding a cherry wood so wait you you've just been thinking about this then since
no i haven't i wasn't even gonna bring it up until you guys talked about seeing uh sass being afraid
to yeah but it was weird I felt after the second time
I felt weird
I did feel it
because when I got out
everyone was actually
like yelling at you
being like
we were telling you
there was someone
in the bathroom
I know
but the second time
I had just woken up
from a nap
it was a pina colada nap
and I was fuzzy
I've never
maybe we can
chase cock
Kate literally was
hunting for cock
but somehow
Che is gonna look
way worse
when we just clip that question
and have it out of context
in posterity.
I would like to watch
that right now.
Can we watch that?
Yeah, just put that out there.
See how he was raising
his eyebrows up and down?
Hey, did you see
my penis yesterday?
So strange.
So strange.
Speaking of Kate,
did you see my cock yesterday?
Whilst pissing. It was in my palm. He my cock yesterday? You gloused pissing.
It was in my palm. He was just grinning
for like 40 seconds after.
Did you meet Steven Jr.?
He also brought a square pillow on the
bus that he put around his neck like a neck
brace. You did? I brought
a neck pillow for travel. What a great traveler.
There's never been less of a segue
than Steve just asking that.
There is a perfect segue.
We were literally talking about Stone's penises.
You could have prefaced it.
I would have prefaced it if I were you.
Maybe a trigger warning.
Speaking of seeing the workers' dick.
Kate, I have something a little embarrassing to bring up.
Run it again.
Kate, did you see my penis yesterday?
What?
What?
Chumbled like a teen asking out his date
it's a very matter of fact
Kate did you see my penis yesterday
you can't say that monotone
you can't without even a hint of a smile
yeah
did you at least see it say that monotone. You can't without even a hint of a smile. Kaylin,
did you at least see it?
I always do this, Kate.
Tell me if you saw it or not.
It looked good.
Did you see it or not?
Kate. Good girl. Good girl. Did you see it or not? Hate.
Good girl.
Good girl.
Oh, wow.
Oh, KB.
Bad boy.
Oh, KB.
Yes, you did.
Okay.
And you're sure of that.
Good girl.
Good girl.
And you're positive you saw it. You saw the whole thing.
Good girl.
Oh, KB.
So gross. That tears my eyes. That was a Che impersonation. He's Good girl. Oh, KB. So gross.
I have tears in my eyes.
That was a Che impersonation.
He's going down.
Yeah, he's going to Che's level.
Okay.
He's not going to let Che get canceled alone.
Hey, but can we get a little dance?
When we asked when you saw it, you said it's a little fuzzy.
Were you talking about his dick?
Use the lawnmower 4.0.
Give it a fair way.
Yeah.
Maybe can you...
That's Kate every time she gets on a charter bus.
Just kick it in the door like Jason Statham.
Who's in there?
Who's got a cock?
A cock.
I thought it was empty.
5-0-5. That. I thought it was empty. E-5-0-fum.
That was weird.
That was weird.
Still picturing the visual of Kate grabbing Tommy by the dick.
Dude, he's midstream and she just like bends in.
She starts him like a long hour.
What was our alternative Frank character we came up with?
Oh, yeah.
He was like The way he...
He's like dancing around.
He like...
When Frank goes home...
He puts on an old school nightcap.
Frank sleeps over a really long nightcap.
And sometimes it goes over his face
and his snore like lifts it.
He has a really cute snore.
He wakes up happy.
He says goodnight to all of his appliances.
Well rested. He blows out a little candle right before he goes to bed. He says goodnight to all of his appliances. Well rested.
He blows out a little candle right before he goes to bed.
He has a little oil lamp that he gets more milk with.
Night, Mr. Marino.
Sleepy time T-Bear.
That's what he is.
Yes.
Very peaceful sleeper.
Little birds make him a foray into time.
He's never had a bad dream.
He's like goodnight moon.
It's just super whimsy.
He wakes up, opens his curtains.
Mr. Sun.
Nutter day.
Nutter day in paradise.
We got to get him a long sleep nap.
Or a sleep study.
Maybe we could just put him into a sleep study ourselves.
Put cameras in his house.
He doesn't really sleep anymore.
He used to just sleep at his desk.
He abandoned that. He used to do sleep shifts.
And that just stopped. He's active now.
Yeah. He used to sleep
from like
5pm to like 8pm
and then from like 2pm
to 6pm. Maybe it was like an anxiety
response when he just didn't feel comfortable around
people. He just shut it off.
Also, there's not caffeine in it, but
the wood gives you energy. Oh, it does.
Yeah. Somehow. That's the thing. It gives you a natural
energy without caffeine. Green one is
the most. He gave it a 9.3 on
a show to review. It was fucking fantastic.
Oh, there he is.
Ben.
Put a Ben
in the house.
Small backpack. Yak super fan. Also looking slender himself. Looking good, Ben in the house. It's a small backpack. Yak super fan.
Also looking slender himself.
Looking good, Ben, as always.
Hop up on the stool, brother.
It's been like three to four months.
All right, so Buddha, you watch the Yak every day.
Is it as stupid as we think it is?
I think the endearing factor is that it's not what, it's not what's going on in the world.
It's like very just like, it's its own world.
Right.
Got a good point.
It's true.
It's an escape, but it is stupid.
We did do Ukraine week.
Objectively stupid.
Yeah, very stupid.
What are the kind of like bad qualities of it?
Be honest.
I don't know.
Be honest. Oh, you have something. No, don't be honest. I don't know Be honest
Don't be honest
He's a smart guy he knows what's wrong
But don't say it
Alright well Buddha as a super fan of the yak
Let's fucking go
Want to present this to you
And now that you
Officially have possession
Go ahead
Who would you like to kiss on the lips
What This is just a collector's If you officially have possession, go ahead. Who would you like to kiss on the lips?
Oh, fuck.
What?
I like that this is just a collector's note. No, no, no, no, no.
I was trying to do that.
You have to kiss one of us on the lips.
You have to.
It's not like, we'll find the people who have the coins.
Let's go, Buddha.
They got Apple tags on them.
We're going to hunt you all down and kiss you.
They bought tracking devices.
I'm taking that back if you want to kiss one of us.
I like even numbers, so I appreciate 112 out of 500.
Yeah, 112, like peaches and cream.
Thank you so much.
And six is my favorite number.
I was born on the six.
TJ, why don't you just, you know what, because he is a super fan,
why don't we just spin the wheel and see who has to kiss Buddha?
It's two squared plus one plus one.
Eliminator.
I think he wants to Eliminator.
One of us is kissing Buddha.
I'm going to keep this in the seal, actually.
Oh, okay.
I'll let him pick.
He doesn't want to pick?
I gave him the option.
Okay, you're either gay or you're a fucking creep.
Shout out to Zaha, too, and Steven.
Oh.
Gay or creep, you choose.
Yeah.
No difference.
We spin a wheel.
How's everyone doing?
Great.
Thank you for asking.
We're better than last week or two weeks ago.
What happened two weeks ago?
We were all a little angry.
What did you think of the case rate?
Give us some honest feedback.
We were all a little on edge.
There was a little on edge.
There was tension.
Right.
Okay, negative thing.
I was upset that you guys weren't on last week.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thank you.
That is a negative.
By the way, speaking of the case race, my YouTube algorithm showed me yesterday Shane
Gillis with Andrew Yang.
It was actually a good interview.
I watched it.
He did it the day after the case race.
He's a superhero.
That's hilarious.
It was so funny watching it.
Andrew Yang the day after the case race.
The day after.
I was watching it.
I was like, dude, how is he alive?
It had to have come up.
It was like the morning after.
It did come up.
Oh, it did?
He's like, I got a lot of anxiety right now.
I did this case race with Barstool last night.
I'm glad we're all on the same page.
Yeah, no.
Better, yeah.
Listen, go watch that, and your appreciation for Shane will grow,
because I don't know how he did that.
Is Yang still hawking?
Is he still hawking UBI?
Is he still hawking?
Oh, yeah. And he's going to run as an
independent. Is it still just $1,000 a month?
I think that's a start.
What's UBI? Universal Basic Income.
What does that mean?
Everybody gets an allowance.
I'm pumped.
Martin Luther King wanted it.
Monkey Sam gives us $1,000 a month.
That'd be pretty good. Everybody. Everybody that's
alive. You just get paid for living.
The Barstool Sports Employee Simulator.
All right, can you spin the wheel, TJ?
Can I see?
All right, here we go.
So is it Eliminator or First Pack?
It's ROM, brother.
Let's do Eliminator.
Okay.
I'm not kissing someone.
You are.
You have.
You have to pack.
Yeah, you are.
All right, Kate's off. Nice. All right, the wheel's just. You have to. Yeah, you are. All right, Kate's off.
Nice.
All right, the wheel's just.
The wheel knows.
And this just proves.
Yeah, the wheel knows.
Out of creep.
Wheel's gay.
I should have you guys used that to me.
We always watch the British Open on this.
Yeah.
Every day we watch the British Open.
Old replays.
Sorry.
Zos.
You guys are already kissing each other.
Zos going crazy already. Zos, you guys are missing each other. Zaz going crazy.
Already.
Zaz, you want to kiss him that bad?
Yeah, he does.
Dude, you're fine.
You're still on the wheel.
Eliminator, you're good.
You're going to have a lot of chances here.
Never lands on the one it started on.
Ooh, T.
Jay.
I hope it's not.
I kind of want to get high.
Yeah, I'll get a contact buzzer You got a shotgun a kiss
You got a shotgun some smoke into his mouth
I also feel like once I left
Smoking blunts in the office
Became like a way more
Way more commonplace
People are blunted all day
These people
They look fancy
They look very fancy.
Those advertisers, Steven?
Definitely.
Where'd he go, my boy?
God is just.
You don't have to be gay.
God doesn't want you to be gay.
I'm still on this.
You just have to be gay.
No, no, no.
It's sort of gotten changed.
Oh, that's bullshit, bro.
The wheel is mad at me right now.
I feel like every time I'm just being hung and happy.
The last one.
Yeah.
Hung and happy.
All right.
Here you go.
Spider, you want to get on the wheel, my boy?
We're kissing Buddha.
Someone's going to kiss Buddha.
What is the exchange?
The peck.
It's just a peck.
Wolf peck.
It's a quick one.
Josh peck.
It's just love.
Something I don't have to worry about.
KB and Owen.
Have you ever kissed either of these dudes?
What?
Have you ever kissed KB or Owen?
Will this be your first time?
Yeah, you kind of mumbled that.
I can make it look like I initiated it, but it will be mutual.
Is it KB special?
I've seen it.
Okay, here we go.
Who is it between?
Owen and KB.
Owen and KB.
It's Owen. Oh, no, this is best of seven. It is best between? Owen and KB. Owen and KB. It's Owen.
Oh, no, this is best of seven.
It is best of seven.
One-nothing.
One-nothing.
One-nothing for KB.
Owen got a real sick look on his face.
Owen don't want to be gay, dude.
Come on, Owen.
For real, so this is moving fast.
All right, one-one.
You guys just met?
You guys are moving really fast.
We barely know each other.
That's even better.
Yeah, that's more romantic.
You're going to learn a lot about him.
Strings attached.
Worst case scenario is I love it.
Yeah.
KB.
KB.
You won.
KB on the other hand.
He's going with tongue.
He's hot mouthed a man before.
He will grab the bottom of your tongue.
Oh, no.
Maybe both.
Grab both ass cheeks.
As opposed to what?
What else would I do?
Maybe he's leading with tongue.
He's going to insert.
All right.
Three, two.
Three, two.
Battle.
I don't even know why we're doing this.
Whoa.
You have a coin.
I told you.
You have a coin.
You got to kiss one.
Yes.
I like the coin.
Uh-huh. You can return the coin if you don't want to. I told you, you have a coin and you got to kiss one. I like the coin.
You can return the coin if you don't want to.
Oh, 3-3.
You can return the coin right now if you don't want to kiss anybody, but you'll never get it back.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
That's what I thought.
The rubber match.
That's what I thought.
Here we go.
You're going to lose it anyway.
I'm going to get it framed.
Yeah.
But not if I have to kiss him. So that means you don't have to kiss him.
If you get it framed, you won't have to kiss him.
Owen.
Owen.
Sorry, Owen.
That's some shit I'm just not going to do.
What?
No, that's fair.
That's fair.
You guys can do it.
I will make sure you do it, not on camera.
We can also choose to both not consent with each other.
Maybe kiss him.
We thought about it.
What about a kiss cheek?
A cheek kiss.
A small cheek.
No, it has to be lips.
Disobey the wheel?
Yeah, you're right. Owen will do it off camera. But the cheek. No, it has to be lips. Disobey the wheel? Yeah, you're right.
Owen will do it off camera.
But the people,
no, I think the kissing rule
comes when you buy the coin.
Oh, you're right.
If you're gifted it.
Are you worried about
future employees seeing this
and thinking you're gay?
You owe me $60.
We can talk about it.
You owe me like $60.
What?
Oh.
Oh.
I gotta check my old notes app.
Yeah, what's my tab at?
No, what is it? You have a, we just settled it. I owed Buddha Ben like $60. What? Oh, check my old notes. What's my tab at? No,
what is it? You have it.
This is,
we just settled it.
I owed Buddha Ben like $80 and I paid him like $3 every four months.
Handful change every,
but I kept like a real tracking show.
Let me see it.
Oh,
do you feel it's under Dan?
I think it was just weed.
Maybe.
I don't know.
A little cartridge.
A vape pen. Yeah. Dan Katz. I think it was just weed maybe. I don't know. A little cartridge. It's a vape pen, yeah.
Dan Katz.
I would just pay it off little by little.
Dang.
Yeah.
Just trying to keep him.
Now you just paid him off in full.
I think that's actually a very nice thing for me to do because if, what is it?
Okay, here we go.
Just make a kiss, big cat.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
He owes me $265. He owes you $265 for what? No me $2.65.
He owes you $2.65 for what?
No, $2.65.
Let's go, dude.
For what?
What the fuck?
I thought it was the other way.
I might have overpaid you.
You overpaid me back so that I owed you.
All right, so yeah, because I wanted you to owe me.
Yeah, give it to me.
I want my $2.65.
I know he's got a change on him.
What do you have?
I should have two.
Oh. Oh. I know I don't. Oh, no. I want my $2.65. I know he's got a change on him. What do you have? I should have two. Oh.
Oh.
No, I don't.
Oh, no.
I want two.
I want two.
You owe me $0.65.
I'm going to update the log.
I knew there was going to be a wrinkle.
Yep.
Yep.
I think it's good to have money that you can be like, if shit hits the fan, I always know
that Buddha Ben owes me 65 cents.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I could call it.
You know where all your money is.
I'd have to go to like Jackson, Mississippi or something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or something.
That's a good one.
He's back in Chicago.
He's back in Chicago.
Yeah.
Mercy, mercy me.
Aisha. All right, well, I appreciate this. Mercy, mercy me. Aisha.
All right, well, I appreciate this.
Yeah.
Yes, we appreciate you, Buddha.
I'll get you that 65 cents.
But also a kiss for Owen.
Yeah.
All fair.
We'll talk about it.
Okay, cool.
We'll work something out.
Thank you.
Thank you, Buddha.
I really thought Owen was an ally.
Yeah.
That's crazy to find out.
No, he said ally about being an ally. Right. I promise to not. out. No, no. He said ally about being an ally.
Right.
Promise to not.
You at the gay pride parade,
that meant nothing.
I left before it took off.
Of course you did.
Keep your friends close.
I got the FaceTime
with the coworkers
and then we were out of there.
I think technically though
the coin holder
has to initiate the kid.
Yeah, that is true.
So that was all
in with all legal.
You were messing with Buddha,
but if you approach us,
show us the coin,
it meets our eyesight,
and then you can kiss us.
It's one kiss per night.
You can't just be like...
You can't be returning.
You can't just be kissing me all night.
You can go like midnight 1201.
You could,
and I'm sure smarter coin carriers will do this.
Wait, it's good for more than one kiss?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I didn't know that.
I don't know how I didn't know.
Wow.
But don't have it be gay.
Sweep us off our feet.
There's a way, yeah.
I mean, yeah, dip me down.
Right.
Dude, I'm afraid that my leg's going to pop whenever I meet him.
If I get dipped?
Foot pop.
There's definitely a few coin holders that bought it just so they could kiss us
but can the kiss be photographed
because I don't
I think it has to be all offline
boomerangs are fair play
boomerangs are fair play
no camera no phone
you can vine it
you'll kick it you can get it. You can vine it. You'll kick it.
You can get it painted, and we have to pose for it.
Yes.
Yeah.
Shit.
I think you just pose for a picture with the guy or girl with the coin,
and then you tweet that, and everyone knows.
You know.
A kiss probably happened.
No, definitely.
You can't post a picture unless you actually smooched.
What if it's a girl
and her boyfriend's right there?
I won't kiss girls.
Also, I'm going to say this.
I'm not kissing a girl.
It doesn't count if it's like a
yak or barstool
event.
I don't think it should count for that.
It has to be in the wild.
I think you guys are doing a Jersey Shore meetup tonight. I don't think it should count for that. It has to be in the wild. Yeah, yeah. So I think you guys are doing a Jersey Shore meetup tonight?
I don't think I'm going.
But if you were, you couldn't present the coin there.
You can't be like, I know they're going to be here.
I'm going to hunt them down.
It has to be completely organic, in the wild, street, bar, whatever.
What if the event is 6 to 11?
What about 11 at 1?
Oh.
That's the wild again.
Oh.
You can't be leaving.
You have to be 5 blocks from the venue.
Or what about
an hour gap in between?
It has to be a different venue.
It can't be the same venue.
You can't be on your way or from there.
I want to be hunted.
I want to go into my room and have someone
be in my room waiting. Just being like, it's sassy, been waiting here for a few days I want this to be, yeah. I want to go into my room and have someone be in my room waiting.
Just being like, muah, muah, muah.
It's sassy.
Been waiting here for days.
It can be in your home.
It can be in your home.
Yeah, homes aren't off limits.
A guy that lives on the 10th floor of my building, I believe, has balls.
Oh.
Really?
You're going to be taking it one morning, and he's going to slide it under the door.
Nikki. That's like, open up. You're going to be taking a pic one morning and he's going to slide it under the door. Vicky.
That's like horrific.
Terrific.
He's chilling on your couch and you see it slide through.
Yeah, I'm not too excited about that.
I'm afraid of being like on the elevator and he just hits like the elevator stop button.
That'll be sweet.
Drops down through the vent.
I'm out tomorrow.
Is everyone else here?
We'll be here.
We've got to figure out our schedule, by the way.
I'm out next week.
Yeah, I know.
We've got to get back on the schedule hunting so that if we're all going to be out, we can pre-tape something.
And I think we're going Monday, Tuesday, Kyle.
What? Chattanooga.
Monday, Tuesday.
So you're out all week? Not next Monday, the following
Monday. It's Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
The following week I'm out the whole week
so we'll have to figure that out.
Chattanooga's my domestic white whale.
Is it? Going in October.
Why? I don't know. I looked it up once.
The name is good. It sounds good. Good name. Why? I don't know. I looked it up once. The name is good.
It sounds good.
Good name.
One of the best city names.
I will be there with Sydney.
Split by a river.
Come on, the producer.
Nice city.
What are you doing?
Nice mountains.
I don't know.
She's going to surprise us.
You missed two meetings, actually.
I actually know what you're doing.
I know.
I know exactly.
Every second of the day
It's more exciting this way
I felt so good for me to get off my job
That's so funny
Every day is just a surprise
We're mini golfing today?
Rediscovering America is the best
Because I don't know
What our itinerary is
KB would
I wouldn't be surprised
If KB just like
Happened to be at the office
When the bus arrived
At 5 a.m.
Yeah
He's like oh shit
Walking by
He gets herded on
Yeah we're gonna
People were surprised
That he was
People were like
Where's Kyle
He's here
And people were like
He's here?
Wow it was actually
You see that picture
You see that picture
Of Frank at the bus stop
or the train station?
Yeah.
Four-eighths.
Yeah, sitting there.
That's why we started talking about his sleep.
You see Casey Smith forgot to text Tico?
I did, yeah.
Wait, who?
It's fucked up.
That's on Smith.
Yeah.
Smith didn't text Tico not once?
God damn it.
I heard, KB, you were on that list, too.
What list? I thought it was like a... You didn't text Tico? I think it was KB, Nick. on that list, too. What list?
I think it was KB, Nick.
I did not text.
I forgot.
I apologize to Tico for not texting.
I should have.
The 800 emails didn't...
She was in Saint-Tropez on a yacht at the same time,
and she said she was going to text me about the yacht,
so she didn't text me.
So I actually had beef with Tico
because she said she was going to take me on a yacht.
You don't want that.
You don't want that beef.
I do.
Classic baseball player shit.
Baseball fan.
Frank is incredible.
Who took that picture?
Jerry.
That's so funny.
Oh my God.
Just sitting straight up.
Like an owl.
Incredible posture. Perfect posture. I know he can spin his head an owl. Incredible posture.
Perfect posture.
I know he can spin his head fully around.
Oh, yeah.
He's actually facing
the other way.
It's one of those
optical illusions
when you see a swing.
He's actually standing up.
He's peeing
facing the wall.
Yeah, he is.
He heard someone coming. That'll be at 4.39 in the wall. Yeah, he is. He heard someone coming.
That'll be at 4.39 in the morning.
That'll be horrifying.
He had dogs.
Behind his base, itching his back.
He had dogs.
Everything's missionary.
Roan, I got a soda.
Okay.
No, he doesn't say anything.
He doesn't say words.
He shakes the bottle.
He just rattles it at me
Across the room
He gets in my sight line
And I've come like a tractor beam
Like a cow being abducted
Oh man
Okay
So who is here tomorrow?
Me
Me
Sounds like everyone but me
Yeah
Let's run it back
Have a great show
Should we have somebody else
On the show?
Yeah we're close to 100k
We need someone else
Actually Kate had a great idea For Should we have somebody else on the show? Close to 100k. Actually,
Kate had a great idea for 100k.
What? A big belt buckle.
A yak belt buckle.
Because he wore a cool belt buckle yesterday.
How cool would a big
gold badass...
Not that cool, but I would love it.
I know Tyler said that he wanted to make
the wrestling or whatever
fighting belt. A championship belt. He wanted to make that for the whatever, fighting belt. Like a championship belt.
He wanted to make that for the next case race.
I like that.
I like that a lot.
I talked to Merch today.
They want to sit down with you guys
and talk about premium items and 100K stuff.
Because we're really close.
I'd like Roan's hat, but it just says Yak.
Yeah, in that font even.
Yeah.
I have an exclamation point.
All right, so let's do a meeting.
I'd be extremely tough.
Corduroy hat would be awesome. Corduroy hat I have an exclamation point. All right, so let's do a meeting. I'm extremely tough. A corduroy hat would be awesome.
A corduroy hat with the,
yeah, little exclamation point.
We're at 95.3K right now.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Keep subscribing.
We're a relatively new page.
Very new.
We didn't switch over
to like four months ago.
Yeah.
There's no like false,
like spiking growth.
Like it's just all been
completely on the same line.
C minus in the report card.
Yeah, not bad.
Oh, it was a B.
It was a B.
I probably bumped it
once we complained about our grade.
We got an F.
Or no, we might have gotten a C and D.
We got an F in Facebook.
I got a D.
I think we got a B on overall.
Yeah.
My mom's pissed.
I flunked Facebook.
You rushed home to get a report card.
I tried to bring Gaz's report card to Chuck E. Cheese for tokens.
I got none, dude.
So tough waking up in the morning.
Forging our parents' signatures to give to Gaz.
Anus is getting held back.
We're taking you off Facebook.
Did you see that animation from that guy?
Yeah, that was sick.
That was awesome.
I didn't.
I didn't pull it up.
Watch this.
What the fuck?
Whoa.
That's pretty cool, huh?
Yes.
You look like Wii characters.
Have you ever wanted to be terrified of how you look?
That's awesome
That is cool
Hire them
I did a son of a boy dad one as well
You did, yes
Hire the fuck out of him, dude
Hire him, drink some wood
Hired
Have him drink some wood, we'll hire him
You can do that or drink more
Is he the same guy that
Oh, what?
Oh, shit, that's a
That is so sick
Very cool Yeah And they were doing the KB dance, too Ryan down There you are You can do that or drink water. Is he the same guy that... Oh, what? Oh, shit. That's very cool.
Yeah.
And they were doing the KB dance, too.
Ryan Downs.
There you are.
KB, can you take us out with a dance?
Ryan Downs.
Take us out with a dance.
Ryan Downs.
KB danced for me yesterday.
I did.
No, I can't force it.
Dance, boy.
That's one thing about me dancing.
If I force it, it ruins the...
I went up to you yesterday and said,
can you dance?
And then you started dancing.
Who was making you dance?
Was it food or something
it was a double risk
he's been happy
oh a double risk
yeah come on
dance for us
Sass don't do this
I like you a lot
I don't want to have to
destroy your life
I genuinely
the dance makes me happy
that's why I want to see it
make your boy happy
I don't really care about him
you don't gotta do it
that's not true
you do care
I do care about him you do I'll watch it that's not true you do care about him
you do
I'll watch it after
yeah I'll dance for you
after this
okay
peace
great show everyone
see everyone We'll see you next time. Shouts to Ryan Downs at slapdash.media on Instagram for the animation.
Bye.