The Yak - The DEFINITIVE Celebrity A, B, & C Lists | The Yak 1-6-22

Episode Date: January 7, 2022

Would you throw a firecracker on an ant hill?You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.l...ink/barstoolyak

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Welcome back. Thursday edition. We're here with Frank, Sass, Jordan, KB. The normal Thursday crew. The normal Thursday crew. A hodgepodge. Frank, you don't wear socks.
Starting point is 00:00:43 I don't wear socks. Why? I just don't like socks. They're not comfortable. Frank, you don't wear socks. I don't wear socks. Why? I just don't like socks. They're not comfortable. When did you start not wearing socks? I stopped wearing socks about four years ago. Do you walk around the house barefoot? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:53 So you made a conscious choice four years ago. Socks are out. Is that like a Trump thing? I actually... Did you see there's a political commenter named Frank Fleming? He just gave a BLM quote this morning, and it was accredited to Frank Fleming. Frank J. Fleming. Oh, you're Frank.
Starting point is 00:01:10 I'm Frank E. Fleming. When someone's Flemish, what does that mean? I think that's like a region or something like that. Of England? They just have snot in their throat. Is it England or Belgium? Well, that's the pH. Oh, okay. Oh, Well, that's the pH. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:01:25 Oh, no, that's fat. You know, in the movie Osmosis Jones. Of course, yeah, Bill Murray. What a movie. People, I think William Shatner was Mayor Fleming, It was Mayor Fleming And he was of the Of Frank Bill Murray's character as Frank
Starting point is 00:01:49 Oh so he was Frank Oh yeah of course Damn okay Dude This is how dark of a time The quarantine was We made Nick and I made Osmosis Crones
Starting point is 00:02:00 So Jeff had this idea What was that? Jeff I guess it got approved right before COVID hit. It was whenever they had a big guest come on. Big idea. Whenever they had a big guest come on, we were going to pitch them a movie.
Starting point is 00:02:15 It was a panel of Dave, Erica, and a big director. We were supposed to pitch ours to Jake Gyllenhaal. No, it was someone even bigger. I don't know, but he was like, we want you to pitch a movie. No, we were supposed to pitch ours like Jake Gyllenhaal. It was someone even bigger. He was like, we want you to pitch a movie. No, it was Bradley Cooper. This is very true.
Starting point is 00:02:33 We were supposed to pitch to them and Jeff was like, can you guys make a trailer for your movie? We made a claymation called Osmosis Crones. It's about a guy that goes We stayed up for hours watching you make it. Yes, we did. I spent hours making a full-length claymation trailer.
Starting point is 00:02:50 Do you know how long that takes? Yeah. So does that exist? Yeah, it exists. People need to see it. No, it sucked. I kind of want to release it. You know a rushed claymation? It's bad, but it's funny.
Starting point is 00:03:03 Or maybe not. I mean, even good claymations are bad. No, there are good claymations. There are good claymations that look bad. Well, this was a real claymation. Oh, thank you. It was rendered. My favorite claymations are the little short ones where they're like cooking an egg.
Starting point is 00:03:18 It's all clay. Yeah, those are satisfying. That sounds. Big congrats to Brandon Walker. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, man. So Stephen Chay just didn't show up.
Starting point is 00:03:31 Wow. Okay. No, no. I'm congratulating you because Dana, you saw he got sponsored by Circle K, so you went and got sponsored by Triple K. So congrats to you, man. Proud of you. Happy for you.
Starting point is 00:03:42 We're also here with Jordan. Well, that was a pre-existing relationship. That isn't a new sponsorship. They finally are footing the bill for all your crosses. My sheets. Yeah. Your linens. Jordan, brought you in here today.
Starting point is 00:03:56 You're the celebrity person, right? Yeah. But I think you have a skewed perspective on what celebrity is. Because all of your celebrities are like 17 to 18 years old. No. I'm going to name a celebrity and I want you to say what list they're on. A to what's the bottom list? Z? Z list? Z?
Starting point is 00:04:14 Social media has created a little gray area. It's a D list. Yeah. But it's hard because my version is going to be different than the world's. You just want mine. Jaden Hossler. Stylized JX. I mean, to the world, C. But to me, A.
Starting point is 00:04:34 Okay, so he's an A. But is it the world the answer, though? So if you know the world view, then you should be aware enough to change your own. The world? I'm not going to conform to the world. Yeah, Jaden Hossler's on a C-list celebrity ranking. I don't think Jaden Hossler's a C-list change your own world. I'm not going to conform to the world. Yeah, Jaden Hossler is on a C-list celebrity rank. I don't think Jaden Hossler is a C-list celebrity in the world. What would you classify him as?
Starting point is 00:04:51 I don't know who he is. I don't know if he gets on a celebrity list. I don't think he's on a list. He's unlisted. He's got an unlisted number. Yeah, but I only know who he is. Frank, do you know Jaden Hossler? No, I don't.
Starting point is 00:04:59 What list would you put Pokey Reese on? Pokey Reese? Who's that? Calvin Reese? I'd put him on a C-listy Reese? B. Who's that? Calvin Reese? I'd put him on a C list. Yeah, exactly. Too many people are defaulting to C. No.
Starting point is 00:05:11 There are lists beyond C. Yeah, D. A through D. A through D is the list? But Jaden Hostler wouldn't even be D. Are you kidding me? He's right. I would say like Dave.
Starting point is 00:05:22 No, he would not be. When he walks down the street. What? Yeah. Oh, I would classify Dave as... Jaden Hossler is a D. Dave makes Des Moines. Dave is not D.
Starting point is 00:05:34 Okay. So Des Moines is automatic C minimum? Yeah. She talks about C-list. Is that how you pronounce it? I don't know. Des Moines. Des Moines.
Starting point is 00:05:41 Des Moines. It's a gossip Instagram page that KB's obsessed with. It's sneaky fire. It's anonymous. It's a Sunday routine. What's that mean? You have a list in your phone of where celebrities hang out now. Oh, spill it.
Starting point is 00:05:55 You're trying to cry. Only in New York. Tell me, please. What do you mean, spill it? Like, let me know so I can go there. Spill, bitch. I mean, they're not going to be... Like, Shawn Mendes isn't going to be at fucking Grayson in Chelsea.
Starting point is 00:06:05 He's not going to be there just because he was there once. I heard that. Just like Chalamet. Where's he been? He's always in West Village. Yeah. He goes to stickies there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:15 BJ Novak is always bringing young broads to like New York, like dive bars and shit. Novak is the airport. Timothy Chalamet gave all the girls at NYU. Yeah. That's a long. That's a long lasting rumor. Yeah heard that Timothee Chalamet gave all the girls to NYU chlamydia. Yeah, that's a long lasting rumor. That's true.
Starting point is 00:06:29 He would never do that. No, he can't give all the girls chlamydia. Unless it's like a domino effect. He gave one to one girl and then,
Starting point is 00:06:34 you know, that's just, yeah, maybe he's patient zero. He only fucked once. Chalamet has only fucked once. Where did he go to high school to go to Harbrook?
Starting point is 00:06:41 LaGuardia? Did he? I have no idea. Probably private school. He's A-list. Or maybe like boarding school. Chalamet's not A-list. I don't thinkia. Did he? I have no idea. Probably private school. He's A-list. Or maybe like boarding school. No, Chalamet's not A-list. I don't think Chalamet's A-list.
Starting point is 00:06:49 I think Chalamet's... What? Okay, who's A-list? You've got everybody on A-list. You've got Jay Nostle on A-list. Chalamet will be A-list eventually, but he's not now. He seems like an up-and-coming actor
Starting point is 00:06:58 that's now getting big. He's certainly famous. You see, Chalamet is A-list celebrity as any name. A-list is household name. Like The Rock-list celebrity. A-list is household name. Like The Rock. He's a B-list. Ariana Grande.
Starting point is 00:07:08 Alanis Morissette. Alanis Morissette. No. Yes. Ever since Jagged Little Pill came out. That's an amazing play, but she's not an A-list celebrity. Like Paula. Amazing play.
Starting point is 00:07:16 Yeah, it's an amazing play. Yeah, but you're attributing. It's an amazing album. I know, but I saw the Broadway play and it was amazing. Where are you putting Morris at? She's probably C. She's a C-list celebrity now. C-list celebrity.
Starting point is 00:07:33 When you think of A-list. None of us would recognize her. That's A-list. Not to the other generations, though. No, it is. When you think of A-list, you've got to watch the video of The Rock going up to the tour bus. These guys cross generations. I have talked about Tom Cruise before, and people did not know who that was.
Starting point is 00:07:50 No, that's not true. That didn't happen. Then, yeah, that can't be right. You're talking about people. I said, I saw Katie Holmes out, and they go, who's that? And I go, Tom Cruise's wife. And they go, who's that? You've talked to these people in the flesh?
Starting point is 00:08:03 Okay, but if they saw Tom Cruise, they would know. I don't think Jolie's still A-list. Jolie is not. We need to update this list. This list needs updated. Kevin Spacey? This is too big of an A-list. Immediately no.
Starting point is 00:08:14 You attain A-list and you keep it. Kevin Spacey's 100% an A-list celebrity. And Jolie Minjoli is still an A-list. Well, Kevin Spacey is on a list. I think you can lose your list. Yes. You can move up to him. No, because when they get canceled, it brings them up more.
Starting point is 00:08:26 But the lists are fluid. There's a huge difference between the A-list and the A-list. Okay, and you guys are also talking about the whole generation of celebrities. Let's talk about today's generation of celebrities. Will Smith. A-list. Brad Pitt. A-list.
Starting point is 00:08:40 Give me an A-list woman. Kim Kardashian. Yes. Yes. Yeah, she's A-list. Do you hate Kim Kardashian? Or any other Kardashians A-list woman. Kim Kardashian. Yes. Yes. Yeah, she's A-list. Do you hate Kim Kardashian? Or any other Kardashians A-listers? All of them.
Starting point is 00:08:50 All of them? Yeah, all of them. Khloe? Yeah. She's really gone up in the rankings. What are the official Kardashian rankings right now? So, Kim, Kourtney, Kim. Kelly Clarkson.
Starting point is 00:09:02 Wait, are we doing Kardashian rankings or still going through celebrities? We're doing three Ks. What? Kourtney, Kim, Khloe. Kelly Clarkson. Wait, are we doing Kardashian rankings or still going through celebrities? I want to know the three Ks. What? Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe. Yeah, but we also have Kylie and Kendall. You love those three Ks, don't you, Brandon? Yes, he does. Fuck you.
Starting point is 00:09:15 Frank, could you just sneeze into the hand we fist bump with? No. Also, Kelly Clarkson, A-list celebrity. Really? Kelly Clarkson. Robin Quivers. Who's that? How big do you think the A-list is? I think the A-list celebrity. Really? Kelly Clarkson. Robin Quivers. Who's that? How big do you think the A-list is?
Starting point is 00:09:28 I think the A-list is tight. I think the A-list is a tight group of people. 20 people. You do realize there's hundreds and thousands of celebrities. Right, but there's not hundreds of thousands of A-listers. I never said that. I'm just saying in general there are. Everybody who says you says an A-lister.
Starting point is 00:09:40 And also, I didn't realize that. That's a lot. We've had like five. Of celebrities? Hundreds of thousands? When are celebrities going to be the majority? Joe Biden's number two.
Starting point is 00:09:50 How are you? Yeah, dude. He's got stans. Also, I will say, you guys are probably the most out-of-touch people when it comes to fashion. That's a great pick of him.
Starting point is 00:10:00 Okay, but like, when I think of... But one of the pictures he could find... You guys are out of touch. No, when I think of A-list, I think of like that person could go up to most people on the street and they would know who they are. Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Kylie Jenner. Are the D'Amelio's A-listers?
Starting point is 00:10:21 In the world, no, but to me, yes. In America? Probably not. How do you get your own list? No, I would say they're like C or D. Yeah. You hate the D'Amelios, though. Because I think like... But I'm not...
Starting point is 00:10:30 That doesn't have anything to do with my ranking. What percentage of American population has to know you to be an A-lister? So give me some Middle Eastern women who are A or even B or C. Give me like four. I don't know. Mia Khalifa. Oh, yeah. Mia Khalifa.
Starting point is 00:10:47 But she's probably D. She's D-list. Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh. I don't know any others. What list could KB fuck around on?
Starting point is 00:11:00 What list could he get laid on? D&C for sure. For sure. Everyone could. He could be like a C-list celebrity. No, I couldn't. KB could land a D-list. He could be a C-list celebrity. No, I couldn't. Yeah, C-list is like Bachelor.
Starting point is 00:11:12 No, it's not. What are you talking about? That's the D-list. No, like Tyler Cameron is a C-list celebrity. I don't think I could. No way. I only know about Tyler Cameron because of Barstool. Neurologically, I couldn't even speak to a C-list celebrity. Give us some C-list celebrity girls.
Starting point is 00:11:27 Not on your list, though, on the real list. Not on the Bachelor list? No. Oh, God. I'll give you a C. C-list is like reality stars. It's hard. Oh, Tana Mongeau.
Starting point is 00:11:38 No. No. No, no, no. Yeah, she. No. These are the questions I had for you because I thought your definition of celebrity is so much different than my own. Yeah, because you guys don't know anything about pop culture. So who's your C-list example?
Starting point is 00:11:51 A C-list woman? Yeah, who's yours? Alex Cooper? Bebe Rexha. No. You think she's C-list? She's D. Bebe Rexha?
Starting point is 00:12:02 I'm thinking of like actors. Yeah, let's go actors only here. I haven't seen a movie in a long time. Frances McDormand. I don't know who that is. What's Kirsten Dunst? B. B.
Starting point is 00:12:13 I was going to say C. You don't know Frances McDormand? She's falling off. What's Dunst been in with her snaggled tooth ass? I need to see a picture. What would you say? What about like Aidy Bryant? What would you say Aidy Bryant is?
Starting point is 00:12:22 Who's that? You know who that is from SNL? She's won like three Oscars. Hold on. Frank's on Frances McDormand who that is from SNL? She's won like three Oscars. Hold on. Frank's on Francis McDormand right now. Oh, yeah. She's big. She's one of the best actresses.
Starting point is 00:12:30 Frank, what about some C-list shortstops? Let's do some Googling. C-list shortstops? Well, Amad Rosario. Yeah, sure. Let's not dance around this for the next 46 minutes. Let's just name people.
Starting point is 00:12:46 Let's name people. Because that's essentially what we're doing. 50 Cent is considered a C-list celebrity on the social media. I think right now that's probably accurate.
Starting point is 00:12:53 Yeah. I think he peaked at high B, low A. I love saying my opinion is like the fact. If 50 Cent was in Times Square right now, he'd be like Ben Mintz
Starting point is 00:13:00 on Bourbon Street. He'd be getting fucking mauled. No, I'd say 50 Cent is probably B. I think right now he's probably be. I think right now he's probably C. Oh, never mind.
Starting point is 00:13:08 Even if you don't know his music. That was alphabetical order. Wait, what? He was the first to have alphabetical order. I thought that was it. Yeah, 50 would be first.
Starting point is 00:13:21 Sorry about that. Well, wouldn't two chains be first? Hell yeah. No, but it's my last name, Cent. Cent. It's his last name. Mr. Cent.
Starting point is 00:13:29 Sorry about that. What's his net worth? Any guesses? 50 cent? Yeah. $50 million. I thought 50 cent went, but didn't he claim bankruptcy? I'm going to say-
Starting point is 00:13:40 But then he posted a video about it. He made a lot from vitamin water. I'm going to say 120 mil. Not that much. All right. I'm going to say 60 mil. I'm going to say 120 mil. Not that much. I'm going to say 60 mil. I'm going to say 30. Who's on this? 50 mil.
Starting point is 00:13:51 Do you know at his first concert? Oh, fuck. Buckle up, boys. I have an idea where this is going to go. Yeah? Everyone asked for a refund for his first concert. And he said that I don't have my 50 cent. There it was.
Starting point is 00:14:09 Who said that? Never mind. Frank, do you want to stick with the goatee? I might for a while. Yeah, I think you're right with it. I had the beard. It was itchy, scratchy. Like toilet paper.
Starting point is 00:14:21 I mean, I couldn't shave while the dolphins were winning. Yeah, you can't do that. It was much more red than I thought it would be. He looked like you. We looked like each other. It was very red. We looked very much alike. When I had all the shavings in the sink, it was just so ridiculously red.
Starting point is 00:14:44 Yeah. Yeah. Jordan, there's an empty seat if you want to snag somebody of your choosing. Yeah, why don't you go pick somebody? Who deserves? Has to be a man, though. Yes. I don't know any men at Barstool. That's a good point. That can't be right.
Starting point is 00:15:01 Jordan, when did you get hired? October 4th I started. This year? Yeah. Looks like you've been here longer than that. It does seem like that. Thank you. So where were you last year on this date?
Starting point is 00:15:11 What are you doing? I was working in corporate insurance. Where? In Minnesota. That's exactly where one would work in corporate insurance. Minneapolis. I heard that excuse. St. Louis Park, Minnesota, to be exact.
Starting point is 00:15:22 Did you have to pay out a lot of buildings that got burned down or anything? No. I didn't work in Minneapolis. But Minnesota, the only thing I know about Minnesota is it's cold. Oh, yeah. You know more about Minnesota than that. You know Kirby Puckett. You know way more about Puckett.
Starting point is 00:15:37 You know the Twins won the 91 World Series. You know that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's actually a pretty famous, like there's a lot there. Prince? Prince and Kirby Puckett. Prince, Mall of America. So is Kirby Puck.
Starting point is 00:15:46 Bob Dylan. Bob Dylan. 10,000 Lakes. 10,000 Lakes. I don't know if they counted them. Target, Best Buy. It's exactly 10,000. There's Targets and Best Buys everywhere.
Starting point is 00:15:56 No, corporate. Like it started there. Target started there? Yeah. Yeah, the Target Center is in. And so is Target Field. The Mississippi River. Starts there.
Starting point is 00:16:05 Lake Itasca. Yeah. So ask if it's one Mississippi fact. Not Mississippi. Minnesota. That's where Bob Dylan's from. There we go. I already gave that, though.
Starting point is 00:16:14 It's true. I didn't hear it. We just went right past it. That sounds good. They just had the winter classic here, and it was the coldest game in the history of the NHL. Was it really? Is that a fact? Yes. State of hockey. I don't know why the NHL. Is that a fact?
Starting point is 00:16:25 Yes. State of hockey. I don't know why I'm asking, is that a fact? What is the Juicy Lucy? Juicy Lucy. What's Juicy Lucy? The skywalk. Cheese inside a burger.
Starting point is 00:16:34 You've never had a Juicy Lucy? Nah. Is there a pineapple on it? Wait, you've never had a Juicy Lucy? I've never had a Juicy Lucy. Right? Is that right? What?
Starting point is 00:16:42 They do the cheese inside the burger? Yes. Yeah. They have the Skywalk there. The Skywalk? What was before the Skywalk? What did you say? Matt's Bar.
Starting point is 00:16:51 That's the famous Juicy Lucy place. Oh, I see. Okay. I know a lot about Minneapolis. Matt Bar was a kicker for the Vikings back in the day. Yeah, you guys just went like a month ago. Yeah, that's the only reason that I know anything about it. Did you like it?
Starting point is 00:17:02 Matt Bar played for the Vikings. Yeah, I actually didn't mind. I liked the Skywalk. It was cool. Am I thinking Chris Bar? Who played for the Vikings. Yeah, I actually didn't mind. I liked the Skywalk. It was cool. Am I thinking of Chris Barr? Who played for the Vikings? Cold. Who did Matt Barr play for? The Browns? I guess Minnesota's not important anymore. Matt Barr played for several teams, but he played for the Browns and the Giants. In fact, he won...
Starting point is 00:17:15 He was the kicker when the Giants won Super Bowl XXV. Where was this in the dozen, Frank? Well, he doesn't ask any questions. He asks all these questions like in the last 10 years where facts run together. He never goes beyond 2010. So tonight, 7 p.m., YouTube and Sling and everywhere else,
Starting point is 00:17:38 the dozen, Battle for Arizona Championship, Team ZD against us, the experts. That's right. Jordan, you don't have a dozen team. You need to get one. Neither does Sasquatch. What is the dozen? Wow. You just made a very powerful, well-hairstyled enemy.
Starting point is 00:17:53 That was good. You want to get a team ready? No. Why? All he knows is pop culture. That's a category. You'd be good at the face mashups. You would be good at the face mashups. They half the categories are pop culture. You would be good at the face mashups.
Starting point is 00:18:05 They have distinguished celebrities where they do a face mashup. Hey, TJ, can you just, I don't know how you would find it, but can you just throw up a face mashup that maybe Jeff used before and see if she gets it? I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, that should be findable, right? What? Celebrity mashups.
Starting point is 00:18:19 See if she gets it. So you just take two celebrity faces and they mash them together? Yeah, you tell me the two celebrities. Oh, that's fine. You think you'll be good at that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, there goes 20 minutes. What the fuck's he doing?
Starting point is 00:18:28 What's he doing? He's doing a walk of shame from HR. He's doing what we make fun of other people for. Jerry, I've been telling all the girls what you like on feet, and we're all going to get white pedicures. I'm going to be able to see them, right? Yeah, and wear anklets because we know you like that.
Starting point is 00:18:47 Yeah, it took half a second to get into that. I've seen you took a picture with Kanye. That's awesome. No, that's a different Jordan. That's Jordan Berry. That's Jordan Berry.
Starting point is 00:18:59 Easy mix-up, though. They don't even look alike. I wasn't looking at the girls. It's a Jordan. It's a Jordan. It's a Jordan. If it was Kanye, the whole world would know if I took a picture with Kanye. Yeah, true. That'd be awesome.
Starting point is 00:19:12 Jersey Jerry, give me somebody that's on the C-list, a C-list celebrity. Because we all have different definitions, I guess. C-list is like most of us are on the same. It's behind the A and B list. No sports? No, sports could be it. You guys are pretty strict about your tiers. Yes, I am.
Starting point is 00:19:29 Why even have lists if you're not going to be strict about them? So I know. Can you give me an example of A, B, and C on your end? A, Will Smith. Will Smith. B, I would give it to... Who's a B-lister, I would say? Antonio Brown.
Starting point is 00:19:44 I would say Aaron Rodgers. Okay. C. Amanda Bynes. Whoa. Oh, okay. We did not agree on that. Zod just got pissed as fuck.
Starting point is 00:19:56 Zod got fucking pissed. I mean, Amanda Bynes was changing lives in Zimbabwe. What you talking about, C-list? That's A-list. How was she doing that? What do you mean? Elaborate. Continue.
Starting point is 00:20:09 Continue. What happened to you and Amanda Bynes? What was she doing there? So, Jerry, you were saying C-list? I can do that. What did we put Timothee Chalamet at? A. I think he's B.
Starting point is 00:20:22 He's on the waiting list for A. I don't think the olds know about him yet. I guess Tom Holland's probably B. Tom Holland's probably closer to A than Timothee Chalamet. Being in Marvel. With Spider-Man, yeah. And Zendaya. All right, C list.
Starting point is 00:20:35 I think I would say A. A list celebrity. I don't want to get political at all. Get political. Definitely don't have to with this. A, I would say. Hard to. I would say Trump, like A.
Starting point is 00:20:46 No, no. Yeah, everybody knows that. I would say B would be. It would be funny if you just said Barack Obama. No, not Barack. I'd say B would be like a DeSantis, the guy from Florida. You're only doing political. And then C would be like a Michelle Obama.
Starting point is 00:21:05 Yeah. No. No. Michelle Obama. Michelle Obama. She's a hard A. Michelle Obama's C. She's the hardest a woman can get on the list.
Starting point is 00:21:14 Okay. Yeah. I would figure she's not as known as them. She's Michelle Obama. Michelle Obama's a household name. She has not changed a single word. Oh, relax. Zog gets pissed at every answer we throw at her.
Starting point is 00:21:24 Are you defending Michelle now? You look treated. I like Michelle Obama. I like not changed a single word. Oh, relax. Zog gets pissed at every answer we throw out. Are you defending Michelle now? You look pretty good. I'm a big Michelle Obama fan. I'd say when it comes to, let's say, an Instagram following or a Twitter following, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:21:34 I'm sure hers is gigantic. She has a large following. You think so? Let's look it up. I think hers is bigger than DeSantis. Really? Wait, DeSantis is B?
Starting point is 00:21:42 Yeah. Florida's governor over Michelle Obama. I don't know. Michelle Obama has almost 50 million Instagram followers. Really? What about DeSantis? 21 on Twitter.
Starting point is 00:21:52 I don't really think you can rate Michelle Obama's level of fame by her Instagram followers. Michelle Obama is an A-lister. You didn't want to get political, but you dropped three political names right off the top. You kind of managed to, yeah. Michelle Obama's up there with Trump. Yeah, easily. She's a first lady who, ironically, enjoys her privacy. Yeah, I don't see her much in the news, Frank.
Starting point is 00:22:15 That's what I'm saying. But when Obama was president, she was always on the news. Yeah. Chaking the ice cream away from our cafeterias. She probably doesn't want to. She doesn't do anything political. She does not want that. She wants her private life. She doesn't have political ambitions is what you're saying.
Starting point is 00:22:34 Yeah, she doesn't. And it's because of how. All right. Okay, can we do this? Who are these two celebrities? That's a tough one. Aubrey Plaza. God, it looks like Fidel Berndt.
Starting point is 00:22:43 Aubrey Plaza. Yes. And I want to say oh god the guy. It's hard because there's nothing but his hand. I was literally going to say Jason Segel. I swear on my life.
Starting point is 00:22:57 Alright, let's give her one. I was going to say KFC. I'm going to try to not answer it. Wait. I'm going gonna try because i never get these you do you don't all right there you go make a team that looks like roan yeah kind of exactly i don't think you've ever seen roan oh man hey i don't know any male at bar hey even though i
Starting point is 00:23:21 sucked this week i actually got to celebrity matchup. You did. Jordan, who's that? No. All right. Look at the hairline. It's a dead giveaway if you look at the hairline. Is it not? I don't know this at all.
Starting point is 00:23:36 Is it Spacey? No, that's not Spacey. Why aren't y'all guessing? Sorry. I don't know. I've never seen this. I always feel uncomfortable when Brandon's here. Oh, geez. Oh, no. Storm on. Sorry I don't know I've never seen this I always feel uncomfortable When Brandon's here And Big Cat's not Oh jeez Oh no
Starting point is 00:23:47 Storm on What did you just say to him What the fuck did you How did you make it uncomfortable Something about toes Wasn't it No What
Starting point is 00:23:56 What happened He said I always feel so uncomfortable But what happened Immediately before that I don't know I was I was saying Why are we guessing
Starting point is 00:24:04 Because it was for Jordan I said why are we guessing I thought you said something to him I don't know. I was saying, why are we guessing? Because it was for Jordan. I said, why are we guessing? I thought you said something to him. I don't quite know what happened. Interesting. I don't think he actually was serious. I don't either. I think he's just doing
Starting point is 00:24:14 his Antonio Brown impersonation. Oh, yeah. Nice. Where are we at? Well, let's just end the show. You don't have a guess on this one. Let's just end the show there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:24 Their face looks familiar, but oh, wow. You don't have a guess on this one. Let's just end the show there. I did. I can't cover for that. Their face looks familiar, but oh, wow. I never would have gotten that. Those are older celebrities. That's a hard one. I mean, that's no Jane Austen. I had Billy Crystal. I didn't know Jane Austen. I would have guessed John Travolta.
Starting point is 00:24:38 Oh, jeez. What's your favorite Billy Crystal movie, Frank? City Slickers, right? Throw Mama from the Train. Oh, wow. What's your favorite movie Crystal movie Frank City Slickers right Throw Mama from the Train oh wow what's your favorite movie of all time mine best in show
Starting point is 00:24:50 or major league that's a good question what's yours When Harry Met Sally wow a movie from 1989 is your favorite movie yes
Starting point is 00:24:57 also Billy Crystal's in that movie you didn't care about you just wanted to show off so that you knew the one I had you know that I have a true ego
Starting point is 00:25:04 why do you keep pointing out that I have a true at least make it more also ironically who's in that movie meg ryan and billy crystal billy crystal yeah that means you should have got that he's from your favorite movie of all time that was was that billy i'm so blind i couldn't even see the like the people in the corner that was billy Crystal. Oh. But that was old Billy Crystal, not young Billy Crystal. Yeah, I only know young Billy Crystal. There you go. Oh, Demi Lovato and... We might help you out here, but it's easy.
Starting point is 00:25:33 It looks kind of like Joe Biden, but I don't think it is. I don't think it is. It's a president, I feel like. I don't think so. I think it's Bob Barker. It's Bob Barker. But Demi Lovato is the female. Wow.
Starting point is 00:25:44 That was a fact loud. Oh, that's a good looking person. Oh, Shawn Mendes. That's right. Wait, who was the girl in the last? In the middle? I was trying to. Trick question.
Starting point is 00:25:58 There wasn't a girl in the middle. I pounced on your ass. I'm a fucking superhero. That was quick. You are good. You've been training for this moment. The old people throw me off. I'm going to be honest with you guys. I'm going to fuck you. That was quick. You are good. You've been training for this moment. The old people throw me off. I'm going to be honest with you guys.
Starting point is 00:26:08 I'm trying to get laid from a girl with a pixie cut. Is that Angela Lansbury? Who is that? Damn. Is Angela Lansbury? Is she dead? Almost certainly. No, she isn't.
Starting point is 00:26:20 Jeff doesn't do that. Jeff doesn't mix deads. We should do deads. Deads are good. There's a lot of good deads left. Betty, why are good. There's a lot of good deads left. Betty, why is that? There's a lot of good deads left. A lot of good dead celebrities.
Starting point is 00:26:30 Who's your favorite dead celebrity? Probably Heath Ledger or Brittany Murphy. Brittany Murphy is probably mine too. Yeah, she's good. R.I.P. Pocahontas. I did this once with somebody. You start it in January good. R.I.P. Pocahontas. Did you... I stand. I did this once with somebody and it was
Starting point is 00:26:47 you start it in January and you make a list of like 20 to 40 people. A Deadpool. A Deadpool, yes. Oh, that's fucked up. Because I never want to be right. I don't like that. No, they do that with real celebrities and it's freaky. It's called The Eye on YouTube. It'll be your number one draft pick.
Starting point is 00:27:03 Alright, you gotta do one under 60. one draft pick. You gotta do one under 60. Oh no. You gotta do one under 60? For 2022? Well I think we'll die. You have to pick one that seems like they give off dying energy. And you have to do a child. A child? A child celebrity.
Starting point is 00:27:19 Have you ever heard of the game KB used to play in the cemetery? Five for five for five? Five for five for five. No, I don't like... It was fucked up. What was it? He always took girls there on dates. Tell them what you did.
Starting point is 00:27:30 You just had five minutes to find five gravestones that had a child under the age of five. Oh, jeez. Oh, my God. That was one of the games. It was the cemetery Olympics. This was my dad and my uncle, and I was nine or under, and all my cousins would play. They would be oldest.
Starting point is 00:27:53 They would be youngest. And then there would be the different categories, and we'd win money. So you just go to a regular cemetery. Not a child cemetery. You see, when I want to go to a... What is this, a kid's cemetery? Unless I'm looking for a celebrity grave, which I've never really done.
Starting point is 00:28:10 Where are celebrities buried? Me and KB saw Aretha Franklin. It's hard to stumble upon one by happenstance. I like going to Revolutionary War cemeteries. Okay, yeah, those are old-ass stones. Yeah, I like the cemeteries that are, yeah, those are old-ass stones. Yeah, I like the cemeteries that are from
Starting point is 00:28:27 the 1700s and 1800s. Does it ever freak you out how so many people are buried underneath us? Fuck it. Ever see the movie The Irritable Third Christ? I'd rather be there than up in the air. I want to be cremated.
Starting point is 00:28:43 The ground's probably the best place for them. It's just creepy, though, to think there's just going to be so many more people underneath the ground. Yeah, there's a lot creepy. There's a lot of creepy things. Yeah, Kyle? Death is creepy. What's creepy to you?
Starting point is 00:28:59 I mean, let's start with the ocean. No, I can't be in here for these types of conversations. We can't talk ocean? We can't talk ocean? Ocean, space, death. That freaks me out. You're really handcuffing us here. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:29:14 You know, Gene Roddenberry. Of course, yeah. Sure. Who's that? When he died, he was cremated, and they actually took his ashes out into space. Fuck yeah. So they're just floating around still.
Starting point is 00:29:31 That seems like a huge waste of resources. For my entire life up until two days ago, I thought Mars was the closest planet to Earth. Is it not? The one closer to the sun? Venus, I guess. Why don't we go to... Oh, we probably can't say that. Venus is...
Starting point is 00:29:47 Mars might have an atmosphere that can be cultivated and that we could breed. Everything in Venus is just pure acid. It's just toxic. It's like... I didn't know you were a space guy. Speaking of which,
Starting point is 00:30:03 Venus Williams is... Venus Williams is fucking cold sprouts. I know. were a space guy. Speaking of which, Venus Williams is... Venus Williams is fucking Cole Sprouse. I called that prediction. There's been chemistry for a long time. What? Oh, yeah. What? I was going to say, that was the most random connection I've ever heard.
Starting point is 00:30:16 I don't think so. What's up, Rudy? Why are you dressed like that? That's a good fit. Hey, Rudy, you brought the Crocs in today. What's going on? I had to wear Crocs. We're starting the new Crocs trend.
Starting point is 00:30:27 He was barefoot in the office yesterday. I said, why? And he said, I bought new boots and they hurt my feet. So now he just went full. So your feet got so hurt by the boots, you had to soften your shoes? Did you swap out a strap? Is that an aftermarket strap? No, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:30:40 No, those are the new Crocs. I bought it from this company I like called Pleasures. But I wore the Crocs because my heel, I have like a vision. My boots fucked up my heel so bad. These are the only heel-less shoes I have. So that's the only reason why. Can you take your sock off and let me see that foot? That's not weird, is it?
Starting point is 00:30:55 No, you can see it. No, no, no. Don't make this happen. Oh, God. For one boot? Yeah. Holy crap, Rudy. Holy crap.
Starting point is 00:31:04 You see, that's why I don't wear boots. You don't wear socks. Sorry, KB. That's going to take a long time to heal. Jordan, was that on purpose? Just say yes. I actually don't, but I want to hear why that was funny. What'd you say?
Starting point is 00:31:21 You punned. Where is it? You unintentionally pawned. Yeah, I did not. Yeah, no, I normally wouldn't. These are my house shoes. These are what I wear in the house, so I wouldn't normally do this. So it's a wild fit for sure.
Starting point is 00:31:32 You look like you got dressed by accident today. No, no. That's the most intentional fit ever. The watching New York TikTok guy would stop you maybe. Yeah. Yeah. That's my worst fear. You've got to be in a group of three with the similar dress.
Starting point is 00:31:45 Let's break down the outfit price-wise, like that viral TikTok. What is that, a Stussy jacket? Hat is probably, I got this in Indie with Spider. Hat is probably $20. We'll say $25. $25. You have hair product in? No.
Starting point is 00:32:01 You don't have a mousse, a paste? No, I went pasteless today. Well, he went with a hat, so he didn't use all that. Raw. All right. Jacket. This jacket is Stussy that Kyle said. And this was probably like $125.
Starting point is 00:32:18 Okay. Not bad. Not bad. Blue collar stolen valor. That's my lane lately. Yeah, sure. It happens. A lot of people do that.
Starting point is 00:32:24 And then this is online ceramics. Yeah, sure. It happens. A lot of people do that. And then this is Online Ceramics. Grateful Dead Red Rocks. I had to get it because I'm from Colorado. $35? This was probably like $100. That much? Jesus. Yeah, but it's, you know, Frank, I mean, this is some intricate work here, my friend.
Starting point is 00:32:40 But a t-shirt is $35. It's a crew neck. It's a sweatshirt. It's a sweatshirt. Oh, it's a sweatshirt. Yes. Does that make it $100? Yeah. That would makeshirt is $35. It's a crew neck. It's a sweatshirt. It's a sweatshirt. Oh, it's a sweatshirt. Does that make it $100? Yeah. That would make it maybe $55.
Starting point is 00:32:49 Frank, you can't talk. You've been shopping lately. Have you been shopping, Frank? You've been wearing new garments on a weekly basis. You've been buying new pants, shirts. I bought these pants last year for $75. Those are nice, corduroy. Yep, that's a thick corduroy, too. Yeah, it's warm. It bought these pants last year. Oh, really? $75. Those are nice. Corduroy. Yep, that's a thick corduroy too.
Starting point is 00:33:10 Yeah, it's warm. It's cold as fuck today. I wish I had those. It's really cold in the office. We're supposed to get like 8 inches of snow tomorrow? Is that what you said? Don't say that, please. I don't know about here. I know in Massachusetts. Dude, I'm fucked. I'm going to have to wear Crocs. Why? Bandage. Put a bandage on. Yeah. Nick actually gave me his slippers yesterday. Well, Lodge,
Starting point is 00:33:27 this weekend, starting tomorrow, I'm going up with Playboy Marty with Dougs, and we're going to see some minor league hockey and make some content. Which teams? The Adirondack Dunder. So you're going to be in Glen Falls on Friday night. The units will be in the house at the Adirondack Thunder game. And on Saturday, we'll be going over to Utica, watching the Utica Comets,
Starting point is 00:33:51 both affiliates of the New Jersey Devils. You dropping puck anywhere? You dropping the puck? Could be. I think you need a unit producer. Playboy Marty is not a unit. You need a unit producer. You need a full unit.
Starting point is 00:34:02 He's a little thick. Nah, he's not a unit. I wouldn't turn my head. Yeah. He's a decimal point. You need a full unit. He's a little thick. Nah, he's not a unit. I wouldn't turn my head. Yeah. He's a decimal point. To see all of him. Yeah. Yeah, he needs more units.
Starting point is 00:34:12 Yeah. Wait, hold on. I thought you said the Utica Comets? Utica. Got it. And they're in the Jersey farm system? Yeah, the Devils swapped out last year. They're the ECHL, are they not?
Starting point is 00:34:24 The Utica Comets are AHL team. The Devils have – this is their first year affiliated with the Devils. Okay. Frank, I went to the Prudential Center last night for the first time. That's a nice building. It is nice. It is nice. The concession stands are just brutal.
Starting point is 00:34:38 There weren't that many people there last night, and it was easy. I just went right up to the chicken. I got chicken tenders and fries. It's just so easy. Well, at least you ate the thing that's sort of edible. Yeah, it was easy. I just went right up to the chicken. I got chicken tenders and fries. Well, at least you ate the thing that's sort of edible. Yeah, it was good. I mean, the food
Starting point is 00:34:51 quality is they need to get new chefs. Well, we didn't talk about that. Do you think they hire chefs for the concession stand? I was going to say the Prudential Center is the nicest place in Newark by far. Oh, in the city?
Starting point is 00:35:09 Yes. Who plays there? I don't think that's close. Devils. Hockey. Newark is something else. Newark is like a D-list. D-list.
Starting point is 00:35:17 It's a D-list city. I smelled an odor in Newark last night I had never smelled in life. I went to Newark Penn Station, and I walked up the steps, and in the stairwell between the ground and the platform was an odor of funk and shit that I've never... What was the flavor profile?
Starting point is 00:35:36 It was like weak old poop. It was aging poop. I don't think weak old poop would smell bad. I don't know. I think it dries up. Poop loses its odor. Yeah, I think it dries up and loses its smell. But let's say I had poop in a jar and I spritzed it.
Starting point is 00:35:48 Would it stink forever? The spritz might. Well, speaking of Penn Station. Hold on. We've got to figure out about the stinky poop. You're keeping it from being petrified. Sure. I think that would keep the odor alive, maybe.
Starting point is 00:36:00 I don't. Just water it? Woodruff thoughts? I feel like if you sprayed poopery on it... No, that would make it smell good. Yeah. No, I'm saying... We're talking about how do you keep the odor everlasting.
Starting point is 00:36:11 How do you keep the jar of poop? Odor everlasting. I don't know. Should we have a jar of poop in the air? It'd be like a cigar. I think spritzing it, keeping it damp would keep the... TJ, can we... Sustain the odor.
Starting point is 00:36:22 We should try it at the very least. TJ, could you bring in your poop tomorrow what you're talking about is like the same thing as how they keep cigars fresh it's like a humidifier we need a humidor a humidor yeah
Starting point is 00:36:31 so that would work if you humidored your poop I'm sure somebody's humidored their poop yeah dude I mean like if you ever picked up dog shit I bought an $198
Starting point is 00:36:42 ant farm last night why I knew you that's sick wait have you bought an $198 ant farm last night. Why? I knew you were. That's sick. Wait, have you told the story about your ant farm with the hurricane or the tornado? The tornado was hitting Columbus, and everybody was like, if you have a pet, bring it into the hallway. I just brought my ant farm out there, and everybody was mad at me because they were afraid. With their dogs freaking out.
Starting point is 00:36:59 But then I left my ant farm open that very night, and my room was just infested as fuck. I remember you telling me that story, and I thought it was like when you were in college or something. No, no. It was like last year. It was about six months before I got hired here. But I finally upgraded the farm. So it's got multiple rooms and everything. I'm very excited.
Starting point is 00:37:17 I bought a queen as well. I didn't have a queen before. What's the going rate for a queen? Queens are hard to get, right? Yeah, queen. Well, you have to have the appropriate farm and you have to go to like a reputable seller. She hot?
Starting point is 00:37:27 The queen or the seller? Because the answer is both. Yeah. Yeah. The queen's bulbous. If that's what you're into. I don't know what that means. Fat ass.
Starting point is 00:37:35 Oh, yeah. Yeah. The queen always has a big ass. Anatomically, they're like one of the hotter animals. Yeah. They're shaped well. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:42 It's a shapely being. Yeah. They're curvy. But are they... They don't fuck, do they? Ants? Yeah. How do you think they still exist?
Starting point is 00:37:49 So is the queen just a whore? The queen is... Well, yeah. They fertilize her. Oh, wow. Okay. She's not my queen. They take turns on her?
Starting point is 00:37:58 Not in my house. Not in my fucking house. You don't let your aunt fuck. You keep her in a separate... I bought it from a sick... It's an awesome farm. How much was it? $198.
Starting point is 00:38:11 How big is it? You led with that. Shockingly not large. But it's more about the valves and the containers. And, like, it's really cool. So does it come with, like... So I know they make their, like, tunnels and everything. Does it come with that pre-built?
Starting point is 00:38:24 This one has a chamber with tunnels. And then an area where they can dig themselves. They can freestyle. They can freestyle. But the chambers themselves – Do they like suck at being ants because they're like domesticated? Yeah. They don't know they're domesticated. I don't think you can domesticate the ant.
Starting point is 00:38:38 I don't quite think. If I'm paying $198 for an ant farm, they better domesticate me. They better enslave me in their farm. Make me work. $200 for ants? No, no. That was just the farm. Not the colony.
Starting point is 00:38:53 Not even the colony? No, the colony. What is the colony? Do you ship a colony of ants? Yeah. You have to go find them yourself. They're kept in dry ice. But then like...
Starting point is 00:39:01 In like a test tube? They're not active. Yeah, in test tubes. And then you thaw them out. So you get frozen ants. They're not frozen, but they're just colds to where they move very, very slow. What? What if they arrive and they're all dead?
Starting point is 00:39:11 There will be probably five to ten dead ants. But you can reanimate them. You can reanimate them, right? Do you know if they're dead or do you have to? So wait, do you have like tweezers and you like individually grab each of them and like place them in the deck? No, I'll open the tube and it will usually have a frozen carrot in there as well, a little piece.
Starting point is 00:39:26 Then you put it in the farm and they'll run out and then you take the tube out. Really? Yeah. This is very nice. Can you record this? Say you go home with a hinge date. Thoughts on an ant farm?
Starting point is 00:39:36 It is on my nightstand. On the nightstand? It's right there. Do you talk? Do you read them to sleep? No, no, no. They can't comprehend. They're ants.
Starting point is 00:39:44 Or you. Idiots. Are you under the mantra that once you're in, you're in? I honestly don't know what I would do if I went into a guy's apartment. I don't think an ant farm is necessarily weird at all. Not at all. Especially one that's so nice. I think it necessarily could be weird. Better than having like a tarantula
Starting point is 00:39:58 or some shit. I guess it depends on the aesthetic. Like if your whole apartment is just like all like that. Creatures. It's ant themed. I have an ant themed apartment. Yeah, look how awesome this is. Frank, I know you're in on this. It'd be cool. What if they had LED lights around it?
Starting point is 00:40:11 That'd be cool as fuck. You can get those, but I just wanted more natural-looking habitat. Well, you said, but where are you putting it? My nightstand. How long does it take for them to build those tunnels? This is probably like a day. Ten minutes.
Starting point is 00:40:26 They move quick. That'd be cool to watch. Entrancing to watch. Uh-huh. And imagine that next to your bed. It puts you right to sleep. So what's the priciest ant? Oh, I wouldn't know.
Starting point is 00:40:35 I don't get pricey ants. I just get reds. But if the ants... Creating a bomb pop. I gave my ant a bomb pop. What's that? Because the red-white blue... You drop that and they come and devour them.
Starting point is 00:40:44 I killed half my colony with a bomb pop. I still don't know what it is. What's that? Because the red, white, blue, you drop that and they come and devour them. I killed half my colony with a bomb pop. I still don't know what it is. What is it? The red, white, blue popsicles. Got it. Come on, Rudy. I saw a video the other day of ants, I guess. They do this thing that happens to them called a death march where they get their wires mixed up and they get confused.
Starting point is 00:41:02 And they start walking in a circle. And then one person starts going in a circle and the other ones just follow the next one. And they just go in a massive circle, hundreds of them. And they just march and they're, they're just go forever. And then they just die.
Starting point is 00:41:12 You know, those, you know, those small firecrackers, like the ones that they're like, don't even play poppers. The ones that don't say what you're about to say. No,
Starting point is 00:41:20 the, the, the, yeah, the little string ones, right? The string ones. They go, psh.
Starting point is 00:41:26 They don't really blow up that much, but I remember when I was like 11 years old, I would find an ant and put one of those right on the ant. No, that's not good. You should be sad. That's very sad. But could you get them out of it? Could you break the cycle? I'm sure you could.
Starting point is 00:41:44 You might be able to lead him away with food. But this one is just their following. So I'm reading you have to find the specific lead act. It's like a jigsaw puzzle. You can just scoop them all up and throw them back in. You have to throw a flashbang in the middle of them.
Starting point is 00:41:58 This is like they're unionizing. They're protesting. Hold on. I want to get back to what Frank was saying. What were you saying, Frank? Would you throw a firecracker at an anthill? Yes, I would. I did.
Starting point is 00:42:11 You did? I'm going to come into your room, Nick, one night with a magnifying glass and wait for the sun to set. And a firecracker. And wait for the sun to rise. And just burn them. And just burn all of them. Just kidding. I would never do that.
Starting point is 00:42:22 Thanks, man. You know ants are like one of the strongest animals in the world? Yeah. I think everybody knows that. For their body weight. Like pound by pound, right? Like per... Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:29 For their body weight, yeah. They can lift like a whole piece of cucumber. They don't compare to beetles, though. They don't compare to beetles? Beetles are better? Mm-hmm. In what way?
Starting point is 00:42:38 They're the strongest. Mm. What kind of beetle? It'd be funny if like... Like a bull beetle? That one with like the rhino one? Yeah, yeah. Rhino beetle, I think.
Starting point is 00:42:44 Something like that. It'd be funny if like some like lifting dude on. Yeah, a rhino beetle, I think. Something like that. It would be funny if, like, some lifting dude on TikTok was talking. He's like, dude, I'm just trying to get, like, a beetle. They can lift so much. They can deadlift, like, 14 times their body weight. TJ, can you Google how to make poop stink forever? Or even for longer.
Starting point is 00:43:03 How to keep poop stinky? I looked it up, and it censored everything. It's just how to keep poop stinky I looked it up And it censored everything And it's just How to keep poop not stinky Son of a bitch Oh yeah People are going the other way Yeah
Starting point is 00:43:11 Covering it up Why it smells so bad That makes sense As I was saying When I was going through Potential Center on Sunday On the way out to the Hoboken house For the live stream
Starting point is 00:43:20 I saw a nice little present In the elevator There was a poop in there? Yes A human poop nice little present in the elevator. There's a poop in there? Yes. Of human poop? Oh, yeah. In the elevator?
Starting point is 00:43:30 In the elevator. Of the Prudential Center? Every time you're in New York, there's poop everywhere. But every once in a while, you can tell when it comes from a man. I can tell the difference between man and beast, poop-wise. You say that now. We're doing a show. The Yak. Oh. Yeah. doing a show. The Yak. Oh.
Starting point is 00:43:47 Yeah. Don't know exactly the date. The live show, yeah. The live show. Our posters are fantastic. It's a Friday vibes show. That's cool. Are we singing karaoke?
Starting point is 00:43:55 Tickets are live right now. It's at Stand Up New York. I'm going to have to black out. Yeah, I didn't even think about when I signed up. It's on January 14th. Are there only 100 tickets? At 8 p.m., are they $100 a year? It's a Friday night.
Starting point is 00:44:05 100 tickets? Okay, that's good. Oh, no, there's 150 tickets, it says on there. I'll be there. I'll support you guys. Oh, no, it got changed to 100. Never mind. Can we zoom in on the drawing of Zala?
Starting point is 00:44:14 Yeah. And it's at Stand Up New York. They started coloring him in, and they realized he couldn't see his eyes, so they had to just stop. Yeah. This guy's never sketched a black person. Oh, fuck. I knew I should have started with the chin.
Starting point is 00:44:29 Stephen Shea. Stephen Shea looks like a horror movie villain. Yeah, he does. Who drew that? That's pretty good. Yeah, Stephen does look like a... Brandon, they really butchered you. Yeah, they did.
Starting point is 00:44:41 Where am I? Far Lab. That's me on Far Lab? Looks like you have something. It looks like something that would be on Mount Rush you. Yeah, they did. Where am I? Far left. That's me on the far left. Looks like you have something. It looks like something that would be on Mount Rushmore. Yeah. KB and Nick, you guys look good. They somehow nailed Owen.
Starting point is 00:44:52 Yeah, the Owen's really good. Owen must have done this himself. This drawing is somehow really good and really bad. You can tell who we are. TJ's drawing looks like half his body size. Oh. What about T.J.'s self? What does he look like?
Starting point is 00:45:13 He's a unit. Come on. He is. They nailed Steven's egghead. Yeah, they did. But he looks like he looks like a Sin City villain. He looks like... He looks like it or something like that.
Starting point is 00:45:32 I'm going to murder your whole family now. How's your dome doing, Sass? Good. It's the first day I've worn the hat. How's it feel? Good. It feels really good. the first day I've worn the hat How's it feel? Good, it feels really good I don't think you need the hat You can't stop touching it
Starting point is 00:45:49 It's chilly It's cold Is this the first time you've done a buzz cut? I had one when I was really young, but yeah In my grown life It's freeing I mean, I also didn't cut my hair for uh two months after the dolphins are winning streak so i was they i buzzed it too i buzzed that oh i tuned
Starting point is 00:46:11 into the lot it was a it was a hit yeah it was a hit i am jealous that seems like a fun thing to do just to oh yeah it feels amazing yeah yeah it's just so scary but you're well here the thing is that you're you're you're only 20 right yeah so you're fine like if you once you get into your like if it was 24 he wouldn't be well dude at a certain point you do the buzz you get scared like you don't know it's not coming back yeah you don't know if it's oh no it's my hairline's really bad is it oh yeah it's not that bad i don't think it's not that bad it's up high like bad. I don't think it's that bad. It's up high. Yeah, but I don't think it's receding. I think it was just like that. No, I think it's receding.
Starting point is 00:46:47 No, that's – Well, you saw me with the – when I had – before I buzzed. I mean, I had a giant bald spot. That's why I like buzzing. It's like, okay, I surrender. Yeah, it's the right move. Yeah, it is at a certain point. I'm going to get plugged because I'm never going bald.
Starting point is 00:47:03 Oh, me too. Steven asked on the prep sheet, is Owen sneaky one of the most underrated guys at Barstool? That's kind of mean. Which is like, that's what underrated means. So not even underrated. He's sneaky underrated. Yeah, Owen is number one. Sneaky underrated.
Starting point is 00:47:19 It says Roan is the best. Everyone knows that. But is Owen sneaky underrated? Why did he start it like that? Sneaky underrated is not a compliment. That is maybe the meanest thing you could say. You're not even on the radar to be underrated. Your underratedness is underrated.
Starting point is 00:47:36 And then right above that, it just says capital was stormed. It does. You're like sneakily unknown. Sneaky unknown. Oh, man. Double negative. Super sneaky. Like if you raise your social profile, nobody will know you.
Starting point is 00:47:51 Keep working, pal. Oh, man. Any update on the Nate versus Tico situation? No, definitely not. I haven't seen Nate in weeks. I think Nate fell back hard after yesterday. After Pat came in? I saw Patrick filling out that gray shirt.
Starting point is 00:48:05 He is huge. He told me that he reverse benches 495 pounds. What's a reverse bench? You just pull the weight on top? No, no, that's easy as fuck. No, no, you hold it like this. Yeah, when he, we asked how much he could bench, and his default answer was how much he could reverse bench.
Starting point is 00:48:20 And he said he doesn't know how much he can bench. Tico's twin brother. You hold it like this, and you bench it like this. That seems dangerous. I feel like he's pretty big.ico's twin brother? You hold it like this and you bench it like this. That seems dangerous. I feel like he's pretty big. I think it's just to work your lower chest and different part of your triceps. Him working the phones of the telethon the entire time is hilarious. It was so funny.
Starting point is 00:48:34 That was the first time I'd ever seen him. His kids call and call and he wants to talk to little Sass. Hey, this is Patrick. Hey, Patrick. This is Pat Tico. This is Pat Texas. Or is it Tico? Their last name is Tico?
Starting point is 00:48:46 Yeah. I'm drawing. That one's way into a sketch. That one does not do Tico. Wait, they took Sass's hair away. That one looks real bad. I don't like how my face looks on it. It's even on Sass.
Starting point is 00:49:00 I look like a bad kid in that. Owen looks better in the drawing. That guy caused trouble. You look like you have fetal alcohol syndrome. I look like I bite kids on the playground. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you look like the bad kid. You're a biter.
Starting point is 00:49:19 Yeah, yeah. Sid? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man. That's sass burning my ass. Oh, my God, TJ. TJ looks like a character from Mad Max.
Starting point is 00:49:33 Yeah. His jaw looks better. Look at the face on Shane. It looks like the undead. Zach, congrats on being Jeff Dunham's new puppet. Thank you, thank you. Let's go see KB and Nick. Yeah, get up there.
Starting point is 00:49:52 I made the beards look a little bit like Pew. Che looks like how he should look. Y'all have the same beard here. No, KB looks way worse. He's like Carabas. Why does Big Cat have the arrow through his head? What's that? You know Big Cat. He's always pranking. Shit Why does Big Cat have the arrow through his head? What's that? You know Big Cat.
Starting point is 00:50:06 He's always drinking. Shit. Brandon, yours looks nice. Yeah, mine looks okay there. Maybe it's a sass. No, I think it's good. Brandon, you look 20 years younger. You look significant.
Starting point is 00:50:15 I got wrinkles. No, brother. That's your best photos of draw. Yeah, that doesn't look like me. That's a drawing of Carab me. I just can't go. That's a drawing of Carabas. That's not KB. They gave you Carabas hair.
Starting point is 00:50:31 That's for sure. That's Wahlberg. Yeah, you've never had that low of a fade. I actually thought that was Jared at first. I think it was a fire alarm. Fire alarm, yeah. Did it test? Yeah, probably.
Starting point is 00:50:40 No, it's real. Let's go. It's never real. If we sprinted out the door, do you think anyone would follow? No. No. Sprint it in like a panicky way. No. Not from here. Let's go. It's never real. If we sprinted out the door, do you think anyone would follow? No. No. Sprint it in like a panicky way. No.
Starting point is 00:50:47 Not from here. They wouldn't see it. Yeah. You especially know. What if we went over and we grabbed it? You're running around doing random shit all the time. You sprint everywhere. Yeah, you were doing cartwheels yesterday.
Starting point is 00:50:57 Round off. That he cannot do a cartwheel. Do you have any idea? Brandon, this excludes you because I'm assuming you would probably think like, think to grab your dogs and your family first in a fire. Or not. Or the bobbleheads. Fair. Cowbells.
Starting point is 00:51:10 What would you guys grab in a fire? Well, he already told you. He'd grab his hand for them. PlayStation. PlayStation. Really? Immediately. See, I've come to learn that PlayStations are quick and easy to get.
Starting point is 00:51:21 True. You just send out a tweet and you're like, hey, this is another PlayStation 4. You've come to learn. Followers. And then they're like, oh. Something that everyone can do. I thought you meant they were quick to get. True. You just send out a tweet and you're like, hey, this is PlayStation 4 and we have followers. And then they're like, oh. Something that everyone can do. No, because people
Starting point is 00:51:28 have PlayStation 5s and then they just have PlayStation 4 lying around. Yeah, I know. I get it. Well, I would just grab my computer and my PlayStation. Don't you guys have
Starting point is 00:51:36 renter's insurance? No. It barely works. I'm just saying what I would do if there's a fire, like immediately, like the things that if you have nothing,
Starting point is 00:51:43 like I'd rather at least have something to keep me busy. You know want to you want to hear something i've got my model plane i've got my skincare routine you want to hear something rotten toothbrush i just of course you know of course you know i just moved oh yes and uh they informed me i will not be getting my deposit back and and they said and and they said that they want to charge me for the decondition of the rug, even though they're ripping out the rug. And they're ripping out the stove, saying that the stove wasn't maintained. And the stove is 20 years old, more than 20 years, probably 40 years old stove.
Starting point is 00:52:18 And it was like so hot that it was almost dangerous. Are you going to fight it? Take him to court. Yeah, let's go to civil court. That would be great content. I mean, they're just such crooks. You know the court system. Yeah, you do. He probably would win. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:52:33 I just don't want the hassle of it. Yeah, you just want it to be the best. I get it. How long were you there, Frank? 13 years. 13 years? And they won't give you your security deposit back? Yeah. That's crazy. What was your... You paid that 13 years ago? Yeah? And they won't give you your security deposit back? Yeah. That's crazy. What was your... You paid that 13 years ago?
Starting point is 00:52:48 Yeah. How much was it? $30? Yeah. It was like three wooden nickels. It was $1,413 a year. Oh, my God. Holy crap.
Starting point is 00:52:58 That's expensive. 13 years ago was... We need that back. 2008. 2009. 2009. It was in the 80s. Well, now my security deposit this time around was. 2008, 2009. That was in the 80s. Well, now my security deposit this time around was $3,500.
Starting point is 00:53:10 Holy shit. What? They must know your trouble. You're living in a bougie place. He is. I got a washer-dryer unit, dishwasher unit. Oh, that changes your life. That changes your life.
Starting point is 00:53:24 Oh, it does. I just got a dishwasher in my last apartment for dishwasher, unit. Oh, that changes your life. That changes your life. Oh, it does. I just got a dishwasher, my last partner for the first time. Very nice. I have never used a dishwasher before. Amazing technology. How often do you use it? Every night. Every night? Nice.
Starting point is 00:53:37 I never had one. What? I don't mind a dishwasher. Michael Orr is astounded by it. And having a washer and dryer in uni I mean I hate
Starting point is 00:53:48 I hate laundromats so much yeah they're expensive too yeah we I know we used to have I'm going from having
Starting point is 00:53:55 a washer and dryer to now not having one so I have to go back to the laundromat you had a washer and dryer at your old place it was you had to run the dryer
Starting point is 00:54:01 like 15 times for it to like get to damp was it in the building? No, it was in our apartment. What? Are you confusing it with the washer? No, we had a washer and dryer.
Starting point is 00:54:10 We've been using them backwards. Somebody switches the labels on them. The shit would never dry. That would work on me. It would work on me. I don't know. It would never dry. And then it broke towards the end.
Starting point is 00:54:25 You should just pay to get it done. It's actually pretty cheap. Yeah, it isn't bad. Dollar a pound. I'm just going to bring it to a wash and fold. Yeah, that's what I do.
Starting point is 00:54:31 Yeah, a wash and fold is the way to go. They pack those things. They pack that shit. You'll come with like a massive bag of clothes and they hand it back and it's like this big.
Starting point is 00:54:38 Yeah, it's insane. They're permanently wrinkled. It's like Wally when he takes in the trash and like crushes it down. My t-shirts are fucking pleated now, dude. Except they sent my clothes just to the wrong apartment.
Starting point is 00:54:50 Yeah, that happened to Chef Donnie. I just go and pick my shit up. Yeah, I pick it up too. I don't try to. Yeah, I didn't even get it delivered. They just sent it somewhere. Yeah, that's fucking scary. They gave me a list of four addresses.
Starting point is 00:55:00 Because that's exactly what happened to Chef Donnie, right? Yeah. It was the first one I went to. I just knocked on this dude's door. That's kind of fun. You can make a day out of that. No, it was the first one I went to. I just knocked on this dude's door. That's kind of fun. You can make a day out of that. No, it was the first one I went to. I just knocked on this dude's door and he was like,
Starting point is 00:55:09 yeah, this is your bag. He's wearing one of your... He's wearing... No, bro, I don't know what you're talking about. All your clothes. I would be pissed. I would keep searching.
Starting point is 00:55:17 I would make him give me a clue. I'm going to steal something from you and give it to a random person. You have to find it. Okay, you got to give me a clue, though. I gotta give me a clue though
Starting point is 00:55:25 I'll give you a good clue Not too hard, not too easy Oh man, there will be no clues You all ready to go? Seems like you are Brandon, did you not think we were riffing? I was having a good time Oh, no, I'm sorry
Starting point is 00:55:40 Did you guys feel, that was a good riffing I've had a great time I love chatting with you guys. Oh, he's sucking his teeth at you. Yeah, what the heck? At the next Ruff and Rowdy. Oh. I just made noises.
Starting point is 00:55:59 All right. Y'all ready to go? I don't know if you'd be able to fight in Ruff and Rowdy because there's bright lights. No, I can't. You're right. You get a migraine? I'm not. The only thing I'm not allowed to do by my wife is fight in rough and rowdy.
Starting point is 00:56:08 You're in a constant fight with yourself. I had to leave the wrestling show last night because the lights were too bright. I was getting a migraine. So I had to go sit out in the hall. Do these affect you? Bright lights. Do you ever try getting some blue light glasses? I have so many triggers that when I solve one, another you might have like late onset epilepsy yeah I
Starting point is 00:56:27 don't know I just get you can finally get a fit off that sucks because this is your life to be like you're always in front of bright lights well for now Brandon you're always going to be in the spotlight just get some transitions also these lights aren't that bright oh we'll turn them up pretty bright yeah we'll turn them up see what these things can do Chicago Let's wash Nicky out Crank them all the way See his vascular system Crank those things This is hurting
Starting point is 00:56:55 Come on get me This is how I look in real life This is no filter This is how we look Crank them. See what these things can do. Oh, my God. DJ.
Starting point is 00:57:10 Can't see anything. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. One of you twerk. No, for real, for real. It looked like a Cole Bennett video. Oh, my God. All right.
Starting point is 00:57:27 Should we wrap it up? Yeah. Anything you guys want to plug? Just get the tickets to the act show. The dozen tonight. Your scalp, Harry. My scalp.
Starting point is 00:57:36 Very clever. He's wearing... Do y'all see what he's wearing today? Patrick? Hey, Pat! Look at him. Look at that.
Starting point is 00:57:43 What's he wearing? His shirt. His jeans are hanging out. That's sick. God damn.. What's he wearing? His shirt. His jeans are hanging out. That's sick. God damn. That's sick. Oh, he's ready for the torso reveal. He looks so sick.
Starting point is 00:57:50 I'm so jealous of that. My God. He's one fluid motion away from the torso reveal. Everyone was saying how huge I looked in my skin-tight thermal until he came in. Until he walked in. Why are you wearing that? You're just wearing a coat. You're a fly as hell. I'm looking good. You're a creative character. Why are you wearing that? You're just wearing a coat. You're a lie as hell.
Starting point is 00:58:05 I'm looking good. You're a creative character. You look great, but that is a look. You skipped the shirt. Because you don't need one. Why don't you unzip all the way? Oh, right. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:58:16 Jordan. Jordan. I don't want to, like, end up taking somebody's woman by mistake. You know? True. KB already did that by mistake. You know? True. KB already did that to Nick. I got more respect. So, you know, out of respect to everybody, I come in here.
Starting point is 00:58:31 At least hot now. That was real. This is the new style, though. Don't you like it? Tell the truth. I do like it. You look great. God damn, he's good.
Starting point is 00:58:40 See? So all you have to say is this is the new style? All right, bet. He's a trendsetter. Don't you feel dumb? I think all the guys should. I do. I feel really fucking dumb right now.
Starting point is 00:58:52 Can all of you guys show up to work like that tomorrow? No, I was saying we should all do that. Why not? I need the black bar. Yeah. Yeah. No, we're not talking about it. None of that. We're just wrapping up. We're just wrapping up Patrick, Tico
Starting point is 00:59:10 Sass, KB, Rudy Brandon, Frank Fleming Are you out? Oh, Massachusetts Jordan Give me the heart Massachusetts That's some pluryship.
Starting point is 00:59:25 He's got a fear of phobias. So I'm giving him lots of... He has a fear of phobias? Yes. He actually does. He has a fear of phobias, and he also has a fear of male love. I don't want to go up too high. I'm afraid I might be afraid of how high.
Starting point is 00:59:40 Which is true in some sense. I just don't want to be afraid of spiders. All right, we'll be back tomorrow. Follow Rudy on Instagram, Funny Instagram Stories. Jordan, you rebranded. You're going with Obsessed, right? Yeah. Follow that.
Starting point is 00:59:55 Frank, you reviewing any dogs lately? There'll be a hot dog review out tomorrow. Is there a new wrestling out, Brandon? There is. There's an interview with Cody Rhodes right now. That's right. See, look at me go. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:06 Already listened to the whole thing. Yeah, that's a gay one. It's very gay. And you have a show Saturday. Wait, wait, wait. Patrick. Sorry, boys. Sign us off with twerk.
Starting point is 01:00:16 Twerk for us, Pat. Turn it up blue. Make it blue. No, you got to. What happens when Pat goes negative? I got twerked. Wait. We're going to change the...
Starting point is 01:00:25 I need to figure this out. Hold on. Because we go blue. Yeah, look at him. Wait, no, no, no. Hey, listen, I'm not my sister. It's the great equalizer. I'm not my sister.
Starting point is 01:00:35 God damn. Blue fan. That's a yak. I was expecting you to say no. Thank you, guys. Yeah. Thank you, guys. We're doing Yankees. It's the act. It's the act. Follow us on TikTok. Yo, Dimitri Zimbo on TikTok.
Starting point is 01:01:20 Follow that.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.