The Yak - The e-Yak is BACK! | The Yak 12-16-21

Episode Date: December 17, 2021

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. it's the yak on zoom these always uh end up being really really really good shows oh shit let's see where he's let's see where he's connecting from he's got audio no video no video he went out with white Sox Dave last night, so he could be anywhere. Didn't they go to catch a steak? They went to where? Catch a steak.
Starting point is 00:00:54 Yeah, they did. And Kyle just went and sweatpants. Kyle? Turn on your camera. Yeah, turn on your camera. Your dog's in your cover. You're showing your full name let me oh fuck let me troubleshoot this real quick yeah yeah yeah troubleshoot that
Starting point is 00:01:14 where are you doing this from my disc is full what what my motherfucking disc was full i couldn't i had to delete zoom and re-redownload what what was what filled up your disc man uh geoguessr videos oh yeah that'll do it yeah that'll wait you screen record the entire thing yeah you don't have internet at your apartment right right? Nah, not right now, at least. You haven't had it since you've moved in. I've currently had, something's up. Are you paying for it? I think there's like a, the main line broke.
Starting point is 00:01:57 Yeah. I couldn't, I couldn't troubleshoot it. Yeah, you couldn't quite troubleshoot it. What were you doing with White Sox Dave yesterday? Well, first off, are we we recording this we're live oh fuck i was about to drop some some foul shit oh no uh about i went to catch steakhouse and in uh sweats and a hat. And Dave kept... Oh, whoa. All right. What's this? My camera on?
Starting point is 00:02:34 Where's my camera? Let me turn my camera on. There we go. What's up, Frank? I'm kind of feeling like Will Smith right now. Oh, sitting in the empty studio. Oh, yeah. I don't want you, man.
Starting point is 00:02:52 Kyle, go ahead and... Uh-oh. What's this? Oh, no. Oh, no. What is it? Something bad just happened on that screen. Here we go. All right, Sass. What is it? Something bad just happened on that screen. Boom.
Starting point is 00:03:07 Here we go. All right, Sass. When you disconnected, I think we may have seen your government name. Oh, really? Yep. Oh, there it is. There it is. Don't talk.
Starting point is 00:03:21 God damn. Oh, it's an over. It that is real dude we'll survive on the internet can you guys hear me yeah yeah because i was i was really bad service earlier yeah i'm struggling service-wise. Sounds better now, though. Frank, what's up? Well, today, I guess, is my last day at the office considering that we got the warnings,
Starting point is 00:03:57 but I'm still feeling fine. I tested negative. I'm getting the booster shot tomorrow. Very good. Very good. Very good. What matters, Frank? Kyle, go ahead and expose White Sox Dave, I guess, if he did something disgusting.
Starting point is 00:04:14 What do you mean? You said he did something. He was there, so by default it was disgusting. But, yeah, he kept picking off my plate. He didn't understand that. I drank my drink first, my alcohol, and then I eat. He couldn't grasp that concept. So he kept picking my food off my plate.
Starting point is 00:04:32 We were making a scene. Where were you guys? Catch Steakhouse. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Were you guys on the hot side or the ugly side? Whoa, fuck. Yeah, there are two sides.
Starting point is 00:04:47 Yeah. It was for sure the ugly side. It's all fave. I remember looking around me and I'm like, these are like the ugly rich people, I guess. I didn't know that's a real thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:02 Humbling. I heard a story of this dude who went with a bunch of girls and the bouncer pulled him aside and was like hey you got to tell that girl that she can't go in with you guys that just can't be true no it happens that has to be some sort of law right how ugly you gotta be real ugly i think you're thinking of a curb episode but i'll let it slide no i are you friends with larry david uh-huh um kyle uh white socks dave texted me at 10 p.m and he said i'm legitimately going to kill you kill you or me he texted mem. and he said, I'm legitimately going to kill you. Kill you? He texted me that.
Starting point is 00:05:48 And he said he was going to kill me. Did he say he was going to kill you or is he going to kill you? Like Ahmed. It was like Ahmed. Are you making a Jeff Dunham joke in late 2021? Yes, I am.
Starting point is 00:06:03 You know what? It's apt. It am. Oh, yeah. You know what? It's apt. It played. It played well. Dan, those cameras are nice. Was he, like, pissed off at all? Because he just didn't respond to me after that. Or was he already drunk?
Starting point is 00:06:18 He was blacked out when I met him way before dinner. Okay. Yeah, he was gone. You shit your bed and your pants simultaneously. Harry, publicly shamed by your boss. Owen, communal shower. Frank. Frank.
Starting point is 00:06:42 Nick, you shit your bed? Like, back when i had the flu so like two days ago yeah tight underwear and his shower wasn't working so he couldn't clean himself no i could clean myself off the water line broke apparently that same day so my shower water just pitch black so i got the everything off of me but i was just like covered in dirt and couldn't do anything about it nick texted me and he meant to text his dad i think yeah and he was like i need some waters because the water is not working and also some toilet paper would be nice because i pooped in my bed i did and then i said oops that was for my dad
Starting point is 00:07:27 that's kind of shitty you know yeah i know frank oh i know wait wait you need a toilet paper just to clean the shit off the bed not for your ass well you want to use dude wipes i use dude wipes for that yeah no i needed i needed toilet paper just uh yeah i had to like blow my nose i don't want my nose yeah but no dude it was like the worst i was i had a temperature of like 103 i had just shit the bed and so i was laying on a bare mattress like so sick and covered in like new york city street dirt because of the broken water line and it was just i had to do that i was just like that for like four hours that's brutal yeah and so then my dad brought me bottled waters and so i could like go in the shower and get all that off me settle did you uh even ever leave your? I guess we can't do that now.
Starting point is 00:08:30 Yeah, I leave my have I left my room? Cost some air. I went outside two days ago for a walk around the block and it felt so wrong. You guys want to do like a group video video where we we dance with strangers on the street and we play metro station shake it yeah i wouldn't mind that at all relation of us like grinding on strangers you don't do that this afternoon or i think it could go crazy so are you guys not going back into the office? No. You're out?
Starting point is 00:09:09 They don't really want us to before the Arizona Bowl. Makes sense. Nick, did you – I actually came in just for the act today because it's Tank Thursday, and I didn't want to get suspended again. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. That's Big Cat's fault all right well today sass did you drunkenly invite him onto the yak after like a show yeah we invited him i mean
Starting point is 00:09:35 he wanted to promote his special i guess we can just promote him yeah i watched it this morning it was very funny what's it called some uh bite the Bullet. Bite the Bullet, Jim Florentine, on YouTube. Go check it out. Go exit out of this. I like Florentine. He's a funny guy. Actually hilarious. I watched the beginning of it.
Starting point is 00:09:53 It's very funny. He's a very funny stand-up. Reminds me of myself. Can we get a room tour? Yeah, yeah. Got the workaholics. tour what let's get a full apartment tour oh yeah you guys always talk about that apartment right now uh yeah no it's it's looking real tough with covid um i mean there's not really much to see. It's my box of clothes. I'm kind of packing up because we're moving. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:33 That's it. That's the whole thing. That's the whole damn place. It's nice, man. I think they actually have more space at the cell at Rikers Island right about now. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:46 You should just go to prison. I know. It would probably be better. I'm not afraid to spend a night in Rikers. Can you just spend one night there? No, definitely not. I don't think so. They don't bring you to federal prison for one night, especially for hitting an employee.
Starting point is 00:11:08 SAS. Yeah. Rikers Island is New York City Municipal, Dale. Oh. It's not federal. I had no idea. Neither did I. It sounds way worse than it is.
Starting point is 00:11:20 During our end of meeting yesterday, end of year meeting, I'm not going to say any details, but, uh, Dave did bring up an employee coming in and asking for a raise and everybody was kind of silent, except there was one big, loud chuckle. And everybody just goes yeah frank hates sass i just i just think what david said was funny he was i can't help it what do you think about sass's move trying to get more money ballsy yeah i'm going back and asking for triple after Christmas.
Starting point is 00:12:08 Yep. That's my new strategy. What you got to do? Me and Dan were on both sides. We hashed it out. The OG asking for money. Who? Frank.
Starting point is 00:12:22 Oh, yeah. True. Also, Tyler O'Day. Didn't Tyler O'day ask for 300 percent raise on like his first day i think so he did frank are you like eight years ago he asked for like a raise from like two dollars an hour to four dollars an hour on big brain how much did you ask for uh i didn't know exactly what to ask for so i shot for the moon and said a hundred thousand and uh and then dave asked you if it was a wild guess right and you said yes yes no no you said at least right we have that yeah
Starting point is 00:13:01 you needed at least $100,000. Yeah, so SAS did the same thing. Yeah. I don't really know what to ask. Right now I have a guy running this sports encyclopedia, and I hope to maybe just push it off on somebody and get it back up to what it was. Because right now I haven't really done much with it lately. This guy is running it.
Starting point is 00:13:30 He's the encyclopedia of guys, AZ. He's doing a good job of it, but he can't update teams necessarily. He's just up in the front page and helping me with a few things. But, you know, I'm doing so much content here now and uh living actually living a life uh that i never lived before i'm happy for you i mean uh i'm going to stage i'm going raw dogging i'm going on tours i'm going here and there i'm going to minor league games in january and uh adirondack and utica i'm going to hockey games mech games every game here and there going traveling uh and i just don't have time for it been quite a year for you frank and i think everybody's really happy
Starting point is 00:14:17 for you um would you i mean i'll be in ecyclopedia i would you'd'd sell it. So is this officially, is it for sale? I'd consider selling it, yes. It's for sale. All right. Okay. Place an offer. What's your offer? I'll give you a hundred
Starting point is 00:14:42 bucks. No way. What are you looking for, Frank? Yeah, give us a minimum. I don't know. I don't know. Because we're listeners. It's not necessarily the price.
Starting point is 00:14:55 It's just I want to hear the situation and or plan. Oh, so you want them to do it right. Yes. So it's about, would you say it's about respect? Just about preserving something. Yeah. The spirit of it.
Starting point is 00:15:11 How many hours would they need to dedicate to this encyclopedia a week? I'm not sure with that. I'm just trying to set some standards. One of the problems with my my website it's hard to navigate how much do you need to get that to the next level
Starting point is 00:15:28 at least $100,000 to make $100,000 at least is that a wild guess Frank just a wild guess what are you asking for what's the ask
Starting point is 00:15:43 a wild guess? I love that move. The best part. You got more than you probably should have. Yeah, yeah. I had a company help build the site. Yeah. And they did an okay job in making it more navigatable but it's hard to update it
Starting point is 00:16:08 now it's just uh so it i i probably need another rebuild or something like that whoever takes it over or just to fix things up to make it easier to update yeah and it runs ads right so it makes money passively very yeah not much yeah sure but the potential is there yeah the potential is definitely there good i think big cat should buy it me too he has some money to play around i mean if i could ever get this to the next level. I get back to updating the pages regularly, team pages, and I'd add things. I'd add the Negro Leagues. I'd add WNBA
Starting point is 00:16:51 to it. I'd add the other leagues. Maybe way down the road for that. The next thing I would want to add. The next big ad I want to put on there would be the Negro Leagues.
Starting point is 00:17:11 Yeah. Especially since Major League Baseball is now basically considering them a major league. Yeah. About time. About time. And I would love a page dedicated to the North Eagles. Who is the best Negro League player of all time?
Starting point is 00:17:34 Satchel Paige. Yeah. Didn't they say he threw like 116, Frank? Satchel Paige was something else. The fact was that he made the cinema majors well past the age of 40 and was still good oh yeah that's impressive that is very impressive um i have nothing else to say you guys want to call it i don't have anything yeah no no no i'm joking um well you know uh you know uh keep an eye out on twitter i did this work with uh mikey betts who's
Starting point is 00:18:15 my social media guy for uh allow me to be frank uh i'm gonna be releasing some christmas songs over the next few days oh wow the wow. The album's finally coming out. Give us a taste. Well, we'll be... We got a couple of good songs coming out, especially... It's Dominic the donkey. Chiggity-chiggy-haw, hee-haw.
Starting point is 00:18:39 The Italian Christmas donkey. La-la-la. La-la-dee-da-dee-da. La-la-la. La-la-dee-da-dee-da. I forgot about that one. That was a banger. I forgot about Dominic. Yeah. I did. That'll be exciting, Frank.
Starting point is 00:18:59 When will you have a full album coming out? I recorded five songs, so that will be coming out, and we'll be releasing a couple – like one song a day over the next few days. Oh, nice. A nice trickle release. Those are popular. Were you ever in, like, chorus or any – or band or anything like that? I was in a choir once.
Starting point is 00:19:21 Give us your extracurriculars. What were you doing in the high school days, the college days? What clubs were you at? I mainly was like the scorekeeper on the sports teams. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:37 I did that as well, Frank. That was mainly the main thing. Anything else? chorus yeah so frank what i was saying was i did that as well i mean uh mind about your shared experiences yep uh basketball baseball you know i just wasn't good. I sucked. You sucked at scoring? No, I just sucked at sports. I am the furthest thing from an athlete. I was in the choir,
Starting point is 00:20:18 but I played the bongos in the choir in the 7th and 8th grade. I was playing the bongos. So what? Yeah, playing the timbre. What about playing the tambourine? We didn't have a tambourine. We just had a, we had one set of bongos and that was me. Kyle, what were your extracurriculars? Diamond Girls, Business Club. Yeah, we all know that story. Yeah. Do we?
Starting point is 00:20:52 Yeah. Why don't you bring somebody in? Yeah, who is in the office today? Why don't you go to Snag? Okay, let me see who I can snag. Hold on. Bring the camera, bring the computer with you. Yeah, bring your computer with you.
Starting point is 00:21:11 All right, let's see who we can snag. Oh, Frank's vlogging. Oh, hell yeah. A Frank vlog. Go around walking around the office seeing who's here, who can come in. There are fewer and fewer people every day i mean it's it's like uh it's like uh we're trickling away like like like dandelion spores in the wind yes astute yeah uh but can we move the uh the chair but we'll uh we'll have the witchy mcquall going uh we got uh big t over here he's
Starting point is 00:21:48 just sitting at his computer don't ever don't acknowledge them just describe them we got uh just one person over here just sitting around say hi to everybody ask everyone their favorite player yeah ask them their favorite Negro League player they want to know what your favorite Negro League player is
Starting point is 00:22:17 I don't know bad luck keep going bad luck come on come on Chuck Bad luck. All right, keep going. Bad luck. Let's keep it going. Come on. Come on, Chuck. Oh, Jesus.
Starting point is 00:22:32 Guys, what is this? This is the act. Are we live right now? We're live on the act. Ask him the question. What's your favorite Negro League player? My favorite Negro League player? I can't name one.
Starting point is 00:22:46 I don't know. I mean, there's cool Papa Bell. I know. Larry Doby, Monty Irvin. Of course, I'm naming a lot of Newark Eagles. Yeah. And African-Americans. Well, I don't want to interrupt this.
Starting point is 00:23:06 Yeah, I think you can. I think you can. Go ahead. Up on the run, though. No Brandon? This is the yak. That is the yak. This is the yak. Yes.
Starting point is 00:23:24 Yes. Okay. This is all. It feels like we never left. Ask Jordan her favorite Middle Eastern actress. Why do I want to interrupt them when I've already interrupted them? I mean, say hi to the Yak, everybody. He said say hi.
Starting point is 00:23:55 Hey, how's it going? But there we go. That gas? But there we go. That's over here. That's our situation here. Hey, Gaz. Ask Gaz the question.
Starting point is 00:24:13 Zass. Fucking the kid lives. What's up, Zass? He says he doesn't know when he got baseball players. What fell? Oh, shit. My glasses are breaking apart. Oh, I need to buy new glasses again. ears. Wood fell. Oh, shit. My glasses are breaking apart. Oh, I need to buy new glasses again.
Starting point is 00:24:31 Oh, no. My lens fell out. Oh, that's not good. That's not good for a pair of glasses. But yeah, as you see, there's not many people around. Oh, not too many. I'm worried. Meatloaf with ketchup or gravy?
Starting point is 00:24:47 What was that? You do meatloaf with ketchup or gravy? I actually don't use either. I put gravy on my meatloaf when it's cooked, but when I'm mixing the meatloaf, I put steak sauce and Heinz 57 sauce
Starting point is 00:25:04 in it. And tomato sauce. What about a horse trash? I got to make... No, I don't use horse trash. I got to make meatloaf again soon. You should bring it in. I'd love to try it. I haven't had a good loaf in a while.
Starting point is 00:25:17 Not a loaf. Well, there's no place to cook it here. There's no place to cook it here. There's no loaf in New York. No, New York's not a meatloaf. But I guarantee I will make a meatloaf and do a Tanks Cook meatloaf. And Doug's will enjoy it,
Starting point is 00:25:35 I guess, my neighbor. Doug's your neighbor. Have you guys been hanging out every night? Pretty much. I've actually introduced him to the Sopranos this week. Oh. Whoa. Frank.
Starting point is 00:25:50 That's kind of cool. So now that he's living in New Jersey, I figure he watches the Sopranos. He's a. You started it? Yep. We're in the middle of season one. Does he like Mikey Palmisi? He doesn't really hate him he the one person he hates is the person he hates the person he hates is uh tony's mother i love libya
Starting point is 00:26:14 she's an exceptional character oh you know what she actually kind of reminds some of her mannerisms remind me of my grandmother oh there you say me yeah oh that's not good frank no no it's not yeah what character do you relate to the most kyle me yeah shit i don't know i think i'm a lot like jackie jr i don't know why i asked. I've never seen the show. Yeah, neither have I. What is it, on HBO? Yeah. I'm watching Dexter right now.
Starting point is 00:26:55 KB, you've watched Dexter? Yeah, KB's burner is always to be named Dexter. Dexter 067. He would comment on porn videos. Yeah, we found his. is always to be named Dexter. Dexter 067. He would comment on porn videos. Only to find out the names of the stars. What my grandmother would do would be someone would come by and say,
Starting point is 00:27:15 Hey, how's it going? My grandmother would be nice. As soon as she walked away, I hate that woman. She's always got her business in somebody's business. That is literally to a T. Yeah, that's dramatic.
Starting point is 00:27:32 Yeah, yeah, she would like, like, like, like, she'd wave at somebody and say, hey, how's it going? And then after you leave, it's like, oh, she's always nosing around. Yeah, fuck you for saying hi. She always brings that dog around and leaves that dog shit in there.
Starting point is 00:27:51 It doesn't pick up after that dog. Yeah. Do we, uh... You guys want to see each other's wallets? Mine's like a bunch of hundreds. You have a bunch of hundreds in your shit? Those aren't real. Well, let's see.
Starting point is 00:28:13 Best to get into the office around 4th of – Who do you think you are, bro? Bailey Carlin? I got – You only had one. Let the record state. I got a decent amount of money I got a couple of like 420s
Starting point is 00:28:30 this one says told on it told Frank I got two tens I got a couple of fives. A couple of singles. And, of course, my Vax card. Wildcat?
Starting point is 00:28:53 Yeah. You need bigger bills. Let me know. Oh, did you just get your... You're getting your booster tomorrow? Oh, I just have a single. Yes, I am. Yes, I am.
Starting point is 00:29:02 I'm getting my booster tomorrow. I got my previous fax card. It's got a little beat up. Yeah. But that's because it's in my wallet. Hey, B, you got your fax card? Disintegrate it. You know what I have in my.
Starting point is 00:29:17 You know what I like to carry around in my wallet? Oh, is that salt? I carry around salt in case I go to a restaurant that doesn't have salt packets. Smart. Yeah. I carry around a little. Does that happen often? Especially in New York when they ban,
Starting point is 00:29:35 when they started banning salt. You know, I can't get salt at the Prudential Center. So when you go to Prudential Center, the food at Prudential Center is as mediocre as it can be. I mean, it's barely edible. And I go to a I'm going to Devil Game tonight when they play the biggest Golden Knights. They're probably going to lose
Starting point is 00:29:52 by four goals, but. Is the no salt at the Prudential Center, is that some like Michelle Obama bullshit? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Big time. And I like doing this sometimes with salt when I'm just in the mood. I catch you doing that a little bit.
Starting point is 00:30:06 No, you don't like doing that. I do it. I just want to taste a little salt. They say that putting salt in your mouth like that is a good way to stop a panic attack because it shocks your mouth. Yeah. Fun fact. Along with putting ice on the back of your neck yeah
Starting point is 00:30:27 or a bite of lemon yeah but yeah so we have a little fun things going on there that's nice and of course the devils absolutely fucking suck right now oh yeah
Starting point is 00:30:43 they got a power that literally they have allowed as many shorthanded goals as they have scored power play goals. I don't remember last time they actually scored a power play goal and they've like in the last five games, they were maybe like eight games or something like that. They've allowed six shorthanded goals. I mean, every time they get on a power play, maybe like eight games or so like that, they've allowed six shorthanded goals. I mean, every time they get on a power play, they cast the puck back and forth, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass.
Starting point is 00:31:14 They want a shot that is so good that a heavenly choir sings. It goes, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,
Starting point is 00:31:19 Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,
Starting point is 00:31:20 Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,
Starting point is 00:31:20 Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,
Starting point is 00:31:20 Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,
Starting point is 00:31:21 Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,
Starting point is 00:31:22 Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,
Starting point is 00:31:22 Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,
Starting point is 00:31:23 Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, What would it take for you to be a free agent fan? What would it take for you to give up on a team? Imagine the professional teams that would court you to try to win you over. Yeah. Would you consider that? I'm not sure. One offered you a package deal. Now I have changed teams.
Starting point is 00:31:41 I have changed teams. I, I, I, I really admit I was a Celtic fan growing up. I was briefly a sons fan and I became a Nets fan like 1996. So just basketball switched. Yeah. Okay. It's basically bad. It's basically basketball. You're more fan of the players and teams. And then I just became a Nets fan because, you know, they're New Jersey. Yeah, they're New Jersey. That's why I'm a Devils fan.
Starting point is 00:32:13 They're New Jersey. Frank, I actually met the Devils coaches, the head coaches, and I told them about you. Multiple? I met all of them, whole staff. All of them. Well, Lindy Ruff has got to go. I told them. Well, Lindy Ruff has got to go. I told him about it.
Starting point is 00:32:27 Mark Reckie has got to go. I said you were the biggest Devils fan I know, and I showed him some of your videos. Yeah, the Devils are a young team, a developing team. I didn't expect them to be any good this year or a playoff team. Isn't that a video, though, the coach? But the way they're playing right now is atrocious. It's worse.
Starting point is 00:32:51 It's not the fact that they're losing. It's the fact that they just look disinterested. There's no urgency. Jack Hughes hasn't been good since coming back from injury. I know they have a few players caught out with COVID. So does everybody right now. I mean, COVID seems to be knocking down all the teams.
Starting point is 00:33:08 Right, Zass? Knocked down the back team. But it's crazy. It's crazy what's going on, but I mean, we have different things going on here and there.
Starting point is 00:33:24 The Nets had seven players out. And the devil said that, well, we had COVID. We had two players out. You lose six to one? That's not an excuse. That's no excuse. Let's rank your team loyalties. Number one is Mets, right?
Starting point is 00:33:44 You're the most loyal to the Mets. Yes. Two is Dolphins? Probably the Dolphins, with the Devils being 2A. It's like neck and neck. Neck and neck there. Yeah. And then three would be the Nets.
Starting point is 00:34:01 Four? Well, four would be the Nets, yeah. And I consider changing teams when they moved. I actually was briefly thinking about becoming a Knicks fan, but then they let Jeremy Lin go, and I was like, this team just fucking sucks. And are you a fan of the New York Liberty? I guess.
Starting point is 00:34:26 Okay. So that's maybe fine. Have you ever been on the Jumbotron? Probably a stupid question. I've been on Jumbotron a couple times. At the Mets? Here and there, different places. What's your move when you pop on?
Starting point is 00:34:46 I wave now because basically everyone knows who I am anyway. Yeah. That's all you have to do. Yeah. It takes you a really long time to get to your seats. What's the weirdest thing? Have you signed things for people? Yes.
Starting point is 00:35:04 Do you have a cool signature do you have a little flair to it i think i do i think i do yeah i'm sending out uh i made the mistake of telling people to email me their addresses for christmas cards and uh oh no yeah that was a big mistake yeah i'll be sending out about 100 christmas in the next few days. 100? Wow. To random fans? Yes. What's the card? Are you handwriting a card or do you have a card printed out? I brought cards and I'm just going to fucking sign them. I'm not going to put anything extra in them.
Starting point is 00:35:36 We got to get you a stamp with your signature for when you go to games. Yeah. It's a good idea. It'd be legendary. I tell you the weirdest moment I had. That's what good idea. It'd be legendary. I tell you the weirdest moment I had. And it might have been just the last devil game I went to. Wow.
Starting point is 00:35:54 Some guy asked to take a picture of me as I stepped away from the urinal. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he wanted to take a selfie as I'm getting out of the bathroom I'm in the bathroom yeah
Starting point is 00:36:10 oh yeah oh man what's the weirdest request from a fan that you've gotten that you've had to turn down oh I've had some vulgar borderline uh bullying things on cameo that I've turned down.
Starting point is 00:36:27 Yeah, fuck that. Yeah, you gotta. We're a town of too mean-spirited. I know they have me roast people, but there's been a few times where it's been too mean-spirited, and I have turned it down. Do they get a refund when you do that? Oh, they don't get charged, no. Nice, nice. Frank, when you were signing up for Cameo,
Starting point is 00:36:49 were the Cameo people just like calling you nonstop, trying to get you to sign up? They asked about two or three times, and I finally agreed. You didn't get called? No, no. I get other companies asking me that are similar to Cameo. I can't...
Starting point is 00:37:09 I'm sticking with Cameo right now because I'm getting enough money from Cameo. I can't do two platforms like that. You don't have to tell us, but if you're not comfortable, what would your year to date on Cameo be since you
Starting point is 00:37:25 started? Pretty good. This year? Yeah. It is a good amount. Over 50k? This year, more than Owen makes?
Starting point is 00:37:45 That's my lifetime learning is more than 50K. Okay. How long have you been on? Two years. Okay. Jeez. Yeah, it's going on two and a half years now. So basically I signed up like 2019.
Starting point is 00:38:05 Yeah. You could retire to North Dakota and do that full-time. Since I've been at Barstool full-time, it's obviously gone up and up and up. August, when people wanted me to do their fantasy drafts,
Starting point is 00:38:19 my business month, I felt like an accountant at tax time was doing 40 cameos a night. Jesus. That's a full-time job. It got so bad. Or actually so good that I actually
Starting point is 00:38:35 got some tokens from Barcade. Peanut numbers on them. And just assigning numbers to all the draftees yeah and shaking up the numbers in the in my jar and that's how i ended up uh streamlining it a little bit made it a little quicker and easier so i still got all these uh bar k tokens which are we on the tico 10 right now? Yeah, what is this? Shit. I got all these Barcade tokens with numbers on them. I guess
Starting point is 00:39:10 I could use them at Barcade eventually. Someone will get them and it'll go through the system and go, why does this have a number on it? If I go to Barcade anytime soon, I'll have to grab them. I have them in a Mets nation jar, which by the way, I tried to wash one of my methamation jars
Starting point is 00:39:26 in the dishwasher. Yeah, that didn't survive. That was one of the things I should not have put in the dishwasher. Yeah, it's trial by error. You'll learn. Oh, yeah. Yep, yep, yep. I now
Starting point is 00:39:40 go... In the midst of transforming all my pots and pans, making sure I buy everything that's dishwasher safe. I bought another new pan the other day. I threw out the old pan that wasn't quite dishwasher safe. And when I threw it, it made a huge, like, crashing sound in the garbage chute, which is fun. I have a garbage chute.
Starting point is 00:40:05 And I actually have fun throwing the garbage down the garbage chute, which is fun. I have a garbage chute. And I actually have fun going down the garbage chute. It's a good time. Frank, have you found your local dog yet? Your hot dog? Well, I'm not far from my old place. Yeah. Although,
Starting point is 00:40:21 I'm a little further away from Rutz Hut now. I wish Rutz Hut goes back to their old hours. I'm so pissed that they close at 8. Do they deliver? No. You can't grub hub it or anything? No. There's strictly cash on the barrelhead.
Starting point is 00:40:37 No credit cards, nothing. That's how they do it at Rutz. But I have a couple of good hot dog trucks not too far from me i got chris's red hots yeah just a few blocks away or i could drive to tony's yeah options are you uh are you closer to the office in your new apartment well i'm in the same town. Oh, okay. Now, I don't drive anymore to the train station. I now have a light rail station that's right across the street from my apartment. I walk there. It takes 15 minutes to New York Penn.
Starting point is 00:41:21 And from New York Penn, it's like 15 minutes to New York Penn. And from New York Penn, it's like 15 minutes to New York Penn. So basically, it's an easy commute. It takes me under an hour to get here or go home. Before, it was maybe a little over an hour in the Delawana train station. But it's easy. It's convenient. All the transportation is very convenient that's nice got a new jigglypuff you like it where's kb he's here kb's here oh he's on the phone doesn't matter he doesn't care. Hold on. Cancer. Cancer call.
Starting point is 00:42:05 Oh, yeah. How's that? Well, God. This could be... Was it a good call? No, I guess my appointment's tomorrow. I thought it was Monday. I know. They said tomorrow at 7. I think they fucked it up.
Starting point is 00:42:18 7 a.m.? P.m.? All right, that's exciting. 7 p.m.? What medical center is open at 7 p.m.? It's all closed. It's got to be 7 a.m. They're just rolling me.
Starting point is 00:42:32 Yeah, they're just fucking around with you. My haters did that. What is this? Some sort of, like, biopsy or something? Yeah, I think I have. I have fans keep calling in and changing your appointment. Yeah, there's tubers in my neck. keep calling in and changing your appointment yeah that's likely i can't imagine that'd be 7 p.m that's gotta be 7 a.m yeah fuck we don't know only that early frank yeah yeah yeah you know um you know i'm a night out i wake up every morning around nine o'clock i take like the 10 o'clock uh train, you know, I'm a night owl. I wake up every morning around 9 o'clock.
Starting point is 00:43:06 I take, like, the 10 o'clock train in. You know, I got great hours. You know, I get to watch all the games, maybe watch a late-night movie. Tonight I'm going to be working on those Christmas cards, wrapping Christmas gifts, recording a podcast probably with Doug's, doing another unit. I'll drop Jamal, you know, going to a devil game, living the life. Living the life.
Starting point is 00:43:33 And you look happier, too, friend. And my new apartment is so nice. I got home last night. I washed a load of clothes. I had some bologna steaks. I threw the pans right into the dishwasher. Got that face
Starting point is 00:43:51 full of steam. You know, eventually I'll be able to do more. I'm going to do more Tanks Cooks video. I tried to cook a cheese dip the other day. It was good for the first two minutes and then it started stiffening up i guess i didn't i need to keep it warm or something like
Starting point is 00:44:11 that because it started stiffening up i i gotta figure out a way to do this better next time uh but i'll release the video of me actually cooking it and then i'll see uh these solutions that come out because i didn't want't record me when it went bad and got stiffened. But we'll see. Someone sent me a whole block of cheese, so I got to figure out a way how to make it better next time. Somebody sent you a whole block of cheese?
Starting point is 00:44:38 Yeah, three whole blocks of cheese. In Wisconsin. So you could get some sort of fondue pot maybe so it stays on a flame as you're dipping well i was just doing this for like uh doritos no just do it for doritos you've had a very successful and fruitful um weight loss journey what has been the hardest part about it? I've plateaued. Mm-hmm. So I'm not sure how... Eventually.
Starting point is 00:45:10 I've plateaued around 370, but considering I was 469 at one point... That's crazy. I don't think that's a bad accomplishment. Shouldn't have any shame. I'm pretty much quitting my gym at LA Fitness. They don't do the aqua fit classes anymore. Yeah. Since I'm walking more, I don't even have the use for it.
Starting point is 00:45:30 I would like to get into a pool, but their pool is kind of filthy. That's gross. Yeah. Do you feel good? Yeah, I feel better. In fact, last time I went to LA Fitness, there were people fighting in the pool. I mean, I don't want to eat that shit. Fighting in a Fitness, there were people fighting in the pool. I mean, I don't want to eat that shit.
Starting point is 00:45:47 Fighting in a pool? Like a fist fight in the pool? That's filthy. That'd be just hard. That's hilarious. I mean, I like that they had... They used to have... They went to the pool to go fight.
Starting point is 00:46:03 Yeah. You want to go fucking take a dip? You want to go fucking take a dip? You want to go fucking take a dip? Let's go. I mean, I wish I had access to a pool where I could swim or a better fitness club that has a pool. But LA Fitness. That should be a sport. The LA Fitnesses I've been to, the one in Kearney and the one in Clifton,
Starting point is 00:46:23 just don't... They're just not the level of cleanliness. I tried lifting weights and I end up popping something in my rotator cuff a couple years ago, so I'm not going to do that again. Maybe Saskia gave you some pointers there.
Starting point is 00:46:42 I mean, I probably would need a trainer or something like that. But then again, I have a weight. My new apartment's got weight facilities. There you go. That's good. What about dietary-wise? I'm just eating less.
Starting point is 00:46:58 I'm not going to change my diet. I'm not going to eat. I'm not going to go to – I hate salad. I'm not going to eat. I'm not going to go to... I hate salad. I'm not going to eat a salad. We all have. Michelle Obama bullshit. I mean, they want the salad with the vinegar and... They do want that.
Starting point is 00:47:16 They want... Apple cider. They want... Oh, God. Yeah, they want people to drink apple cider vinegar. The smell of vinegar alone grosses me out. I hate the smell of vinegar. I think they're trying to get us to do a shot of apple cider vinegar before you can vote now.
Starting point is 00:47:31 Instead of showing your ID, you have to do that. That's what I put in there. Well, who knows what's next? I mean, we got these Stephen Colbert with the vaccine, the dancing vaccine vials. Oh, yeah. Did you see the New Jersey commercial? The New Jersey commercial? Yes.
Starting point is 00:47:55 No. From the Department of Health. No. It's got this kid. It's got this kid. He's going, dear Santa, I don't want any toys or games. I just want the COVID vaccine.
Starting point is 00:48:10 Ha ha. Punk. What a fucking punk. What a dweeb. What a fucking dweeb. I mean, it's like you're going to have the song come out. I want the vaccine for Christmas. Only the COVID vaccine will do.
Starting point is 00:48:28 Don't want an Xbox, a PlayStation. I just want the needle in my arm. I could see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs. And I open up my eyes and see a big vial standing there I was out with Jake Malasek yesterday and he said he had
Starting point is 00:48:52 never been to a concert and I thought that was pretty pretty funny well you know the only concert I've ever been to you want to hear something funny the only concert I've ever been to was a post game concert at City Field of Art. No, it should be the Nickelback joke.
Starting point is 00:49:10 Oh, shit. Well, of course. Of course, you know, Nickelback, they got their name because they charged five cents for their first concert. And when it was over, everyone wanted their Nickelback. They don't show dislikes on YouTube anymore, so don't waste your time. Don't even fucking waste your click. Maybe have a nice gaming mouse. Those things don't last forever.
Starting point is 00:49:32 They're only good for so many clicks. They'll wear down. You could dislike this 300 times. Wouldn't do anything. Would only hurt you. Sass, you good? Yeah, I keep cutting out. Wi-fi is a little rough right now yeah the wi-fi needs to settle a little bit yeah dj you want to like play a video anything candy bra porn that kyle likes oh yeah shout out to the yak listener that found that immediately sent it to kyle i like described it in the most like the vaguest way possible and he
Starting point is 00:50:15 found it and i was pumped because i've been looking for it for years yeah you were still they sent it to you but you thought it was to you directly and you were like kind of flirting with the guy. You were just flirting with this dude. I don't know the special moment we had together. We can all see you doing it. But it was rose colored glasses. Like I watched it and I was like, this isn't even, this isn't doing it.
Starting point is 00:50:43 I watched it like platonically just for like the nostalgic boost yeah yeah but it was a it was like um i wasn't even hard it wasn't a good video nostalgia i had a half blood print blood prints yeah the homies remember we would watch like like hbo softcore porn we We all had half-blood prints. Vampire's Kiss. HBO softcore and porn was ridiculous. Sexbot 2. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:13 There was a lot of aliens. I don't remember that. No? No, I don't know. I do. I could pull out the exact one. But there was no dick or pussy. No, of course not or pussy no of course not it's not how it works
Starting point is 00:51:28 oh man they said that hentai porn is number one now what is that like I guess it's like cartoonish things or something like that and that's the route we're heading yeah I mean i get it i don't
Starting point is 00:51:49 no i mean it's just like why why search for like a a woman that meets all of these specific needs when you could just make her and she'll never leave you that's that part i do never like come with a woman and then like i wish she was 2d yeah but like the women on screen are 2d anyway it doesn't matter if they're human or not i thought that guy's butt crack was up way high my favorite part about porn is that they're all attainable to me. Hentai, no. There's no chance. Why are the women of porn obtainable to you? I think they all are. I think they're all at least some percentage of attainable.
Starting point is 00:52:36 Nuh-uh. To me, I don't know. Speak for yourself. What's this guy? It looks like he has a bunch of deer antlers in there. Oh, yeah. What is this? It looks like he has a bunch of deer antlers in there. Oh, yeah. What is this? It looks like a guy unclogging a drink. That is a hell of a clog.
Starting point is 00:52:52 What are you guys looking at? I can't see anything. I'm looking at the guy clearing out the tube. I pinned the main yak. Oh, man. This video is called Empty. As I unclog. Let's think of some sort of game we can play tomorrow,
Starting point is 00:53:15 some sort of interactive fun show. We'll go for a while. We got to do Zoom, yeah. We got to figure this out. Yeah. It's tough. It's tough, but, Frank, we appreciate having you on today. Yeah. I'll just think it's probably the last Tank Thursday of 2021,
Starting point is 00:53:37 considering that next week is the 23rd and office will be closed. Right. So I will be looking forward to Tank Thursdays carrying on until 2022 and beyond. Mm-hmm. And Merry Christmas, Happy New Year. We're all healthy, and that's all that matters. Yep.
Starting point is 00:53:58 Every last one of us. I'll see most of you in Arizona. Yeah. It's going to be in Arizona Sasson I won't be there you guys are really entities I mean I mean when you go to
Starting point is 00:54:17 Arizona I mean yeah that's the day I'm leaving yeah do you get dessert in the desert Yeah. We go to the 20th. I mean, yeah, that's the day I'm leaving. Yeah. Do you get dessert in the desert? Depends. Riddle? Is this a riddle? I mean, what's the best dessert to have when you're in the desert?
Starting point is 00:54:41 I don't know if this is a riddle or not. What is it? What is desert? I don't know if this is a riddle or not. What is it? What is it? I don't know. It's just something that's piqued my curiosity. Probably like something liquid-based. A liquid-based dessert? Like what?
Starting point is 00:54:57 Something that could quench the thirst. Like a fruit bar. Yeah. Probably a fruit bar, Frank. How do you like that answer? A fruit bar frank how do you like that answer a fruit bar lemon ice lemon ice lemon ice marinelli's frank well i i like the lynn horse pastry shop you like what the lynn horse pastry shop yeah they have the best bread uh no they actually have lemon ice oh they don't know and uh they're related to anthony rizzo they have an anthony rizzo
Starting point is 00:55:38 uh special which is uh chocolate and cannoli cream lemon ice. Frank, do you know if Italian-Americans are in the MLB? I'm not sure. There's a lot, though. Yeah. Yeah, there is. All right. You guys want to call it? We made it. 57 minutes. That's church. That is true.
Starting point is 00:56:04 Let's dip after communion. Yeah. That was church. That is church. Let's dip after communion. Yeah. That was my favorite thing to do. Yeah, always. My mom felt so guilty. My mom used to make us when we did. My mom wouldn't let us, but when it was just my dad and I, we would. Me and my dad said we would.
Starting point is 00:56:21 No, my mom would make us pray in the car. You go on a blunt ride? Yeah, we'd go fucking smoke some blunts. All right. Peace be to you. Thank you, Frank. Yeah, thanks, Frank.
Starting point is 00:56:32 And with your spirit. Is that what it is now? Whack. All right. Church is changed. Yeah, it is. It's not peace be to you anymore? No. No.
Starting point is 00:56:45 No. Michelle Obama switched it. Yeah. Yeah. They're combining and separating person-state. Alright. See you guys. God is a day of them. bye Thank you.

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