The Yak - The Episode That Saved Season 7 | The Yak 3-4-22
Episode Date: March 4, 2022The Wheel Is Just.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right.
Boys.
And now you're gone.
You're not back.
I don't hear you.
Now you're back.
Now I'm back.
Hello, boys.
Welcome back.
Thank you. You want us to catch you up on what you missed?
Yeah, how's the show going?
We don't have fans anymore.
We ruin the fans. We don't. We're averaging
15 concurrence.
Fuck. It happened real
fast. What we just told you,
it's worse. It's worse than that?
Yep.
Season 7
has been cursed.
I think we have to end it today.
I actually like that.
This is officially the season 7 finale today's show.
Season 8 starts Monday.
How long was season 6?
Let's end it.
Season 6 was about six weeks.
This is it.
This is the season 7 finale.
And we'll go out with a bang, and then we'll start fresh on Monday.
Yeah. We're going to go out with a bang. Season 7. Everyone And we'll go out with a bang, and then we'll start fresh on Monday. Yeah.
We're going to go out with a bang.
Season 7.
Everyone tweet that out.
Season 7 finale.
This is the finale.
We'll post a best of of the season just this episode in full again.
No, no.
I want a best of this season.
I want the worst moments.
Just silence.
You know when we have like 20 seconds of silence every show?
And that's the funny thing.
We didn't have any noticeably bad moments.
It's just the people, they don't like us.
They're not fans of us as individuals.
They want us, they're a fan of the show, maybe.
But God damn do I feel pressure to impress them.
I thought the past three days were great.
I'm sure they were.
The show's always great.
The day that they got really mad about, the day with
the wet wheel incident, was a very
good episode. It was the Riley episode.
I killed it. It was very funny.
It was very creative. It was
very unique. A lot of effort
put into that episode. Nah, they
don't care. Also, you just can't leave again.
Okay, I won't leave again.
Well, let's make it right.
Should we make it right?
Should we go with a bang?
Season seven finale? Owen and I just spent $80 at the deli across the street.
We were just scratching and clawing to find ways to impress the fans.
Well, I have an idea.
And Nick and I talked about it briefly before we came in.
No, this is...
Excuse.
So the idea is this.
The wheel has been...
You know, the integrity of the wheel has been taken
away, so we gotta bring it back.
What we're gonna do for the
season 7 finale,
we're going to do a best of the wheel.
Okay. Today,
for the people.
And what that consists of,
we have a few things already planned.
The people in the chat can come up with some other ideas.
So the best of the wheel is going to work out like this.
All of us are going to have to do something.
Some of the things really suck.
Some of the things suck a little less.
So far we have one of us is going to have to get sopping wet.
One of us is going to have to get sopping wet. One of us is going to have to do juices wild. One of us is going to have to eat 50 chicken nuggets from Chick-fil-A,
which have already been ordered.
You have to beat Frank.
We don't end the show unless someone beats Frank.
How long do we have?
Brandon isn't allowed to get that long.
Literally, we'll do the show for as long as it takes you to eat.
This is the finale.
This is the finale.
This is the finale.
You don't have anywhere to be.
We thought of the idea of a tattoo.
You immediately have to leave and go get a tattoo.
Thank you for agreeing for solely.
With SpyCam, you have to go get a tattoo.
I actually would.
Well, no.
I would actually do any of the things.
So how many is that so far?
Juicy's Wild, Wet Wheel.
I would go get
it. Fuck it, dude.
I think Spycam is part of the tattoo.
Yeah. I think you just spy yourself.
You just have to videotape yourself getting a
tattoo. Yeah. I also got a Magnum
condom if we want to flash that with Vax
for Spycam a couple times.
I have that like
I would with your Vax card.
Fuck it. I'll swallow my pride
I'll go get a spray tan again
someone go get a spray tan
how close is a spray tan though
well KB could get a spray tan
it would be
so humiliating
but I would do it
I still have
the toenail removal supplies
lying somewhere around here
I think they're on
Brandon's shelf somewhere
so if we want to
if one of us
I'm fresh in the room
so
I got cigarettes if we want to do
someone has to smoke 10 in the episode.
I got an avocado if we want to do
hold my avocado full send.
Yes.
That's where you get to pick someone
who holds the avocado while you go full send.
Yeah.
I think one of us should.
You make that up yourself.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, hold my avocado full send.
Whatever it means to you. But you get to pick who holds the avocado while you do it. You make that up yourself? There's full send. Yeah, hold my avocado full send. Whatever it means to you.
But you get to pick who holds the avocado while you do it.
Oh, you go full send?
And one of us should go crew dissing.
Oh, I don't want to crew diss.
One person passes a crew of five plus, four plus,
and all you have to do is look at them, point at them,
and say, that's a weak-ass crew.
That's crew dissing.
I love that.
You love crew dissing?
Crew dissing is absolutely on there.
On the street.
It's one to four reach.
Is that spy cam?
Yeah, that's spy cam.
Spy cam crew diss?
I go crew dissing for fun.
Crew dissing, spy cam.
How many times has it backfired?
They just look at you like you're crazy.
What's the chat saying right now?
I don't care.
I don't care.
I got bananas.
That's bananas.
Slow banana.
What do they want?
This is good.
Yes, see?
All right.
The people who don't know.
They're fucking mad that we're not doing it.
Not the negativity.
No, no.
We're not doing a draft.
All right.
If you're going to be negative, we'll stop the show.
Mad because we're not doing a draft.
Whoa, whoa.
The draft is very clear.
The draft doesn't happen unless all of us are here.
Roan is not here.
Roan is imperative.
We're going to do a draft.
We're going to do a draft.
Roan is not here.
There's nothing we can do about Roan. Don't you to do a draft. We're going to do a draft. Roan is not here. There's nothing we can do.
Don't you dare disrespect Roan.
Listen, when Roan comes back
next Friday, we'll do a draft. You can't do a draft
without all seven of us.
That's just a fact. That's been the rules.
Fart wheel? I don't know. I hope they'd
be just as mad if we did it without Roan.
Cut the fucking L's.
Cut the fucking L's, you guys.
I think this is a great idea.
We're doing a best of wheel.
Everyone's going to...
If I see more L's, then I'm not doing shit.
The viewers of this show like to see us punished.
We are punishing ourselves.
Why are we doing this?
Because we have to restore the integrity of the wheel.
I want to see positivity in the chat.
I want to see 10X.
I want to see 10x in the chat.
This is a fucking good idea.
This is the finale of season 7.
10x in the chat. Show it, TJ.
If I see L's, I will
lose it. Yes, W's.
I see a lot of L's.
That was majority L.
That was a lot of L's. Fuck.
10x.
This is good. What are they doing?
What are you guys doing?
No 10Xs.
Can we get one 10X?
There's a lag.
There it is.
Here we come.
Here we come.
Yes.
Ws.
10Xs.
Positive energy.
That guy's name is Make the Yak Great Again.
Listen, season seven's going to be gone after this.
Here we go.
All right.
$10.
Okay.
We'll sit here in silence until the L's decrease.
I bet Season 7 will be a cult classic.
I want to look back.
I know it will.
People are going to be like, that was the best season.
It's underappreciated.
Yeah, they're going to be like, you know what?
Season 7 was pretty dark, but it was good.
Found themselves creatively.
Like a Citizen Kane.
Yeah.
So much character work.
It's a fly episode of Breaking Bad.
Citizen Kane is the furthest thing from a cult classic.
Yes.
That is like renowned.
It's a classic.
Citizen Kane is the cult.
It's Citizen Kane and Shawshank.
Cult of humanity.
Shawshank and Citizen Kane, the two biggest cult classics.
All right.
Friday vibes, I wish we could.
We could do some karaoke
That guy said 10L
Let's do a karaoke song to get us going
Get the vibes changed
Let's do some karaoke together
Let's fucking do some karaoke
Cheers
Everybody want one?
Yeah
Erica here?
No
She doesn't control us
We're the bad boys Is that pork belly? Is Erica here? No. Oh, no. What the frick, dude? She doesn't control us.
She does.
We're the bad boys.
Is that pork belly?
I just scooped up their entire mashed potato inventory.
You bought the whole lot.
Just in case.
It was incredible.
Really?
I love that deli.
The people there are so nice.
Mashed potatoes?
What can we do with mashed potatoes?
Fast potato, slow potato?
Fast potato, slow potato. Fast potato, slow potato?
Potato and banana casserole.
Yeah, let's make a casserole.
Do the animal house thing.
The poppin' pimple.
We have to do it to somebody.
Fucking Fasoli, you're here.
Fasoli's on the wheel.
Have you ever seen him not smile?
No.
Yeah, pisses.
No, it doesn't even look right.
At the same time.
Look at that.
What do we got for karaoke songs, TJ?
Oh, TJ's here?
Name a song.
Any song?
Yeah, pretty much.
Let's do Sweet Child of Mine.
Something that gets us pumped.
Pumped up.
We'll let the chat decide the song.
Oh, yeah, chat, you decide the song.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. There's no songs named L.
Can they form words or sentences?
Oh, you know what?
Let's do Loser by Beck.
That's not terrible.
Yeah, let's do it.
All right.
You want L's?
We'll do L's.
Let's get that.
Let's get that going.
It's also, it's not a singing song.
I don't know if this is a karaoke.
Oh, no, we're going to sing it. It doesn't, but we'll not a singing song. I don't know if this is a karaoke. Oh, no, we're gonna sing it.
It doesn't, but we'll do it. We're gonna fucking sing it.
We're losers. It smells like...
You want losers? We're losers.
Smells like what? Cigarette.
I wonder why.
You got a lighter?
Anyone want a Zin?
Yeah. You going both at the same time?
Those are sixes, brother? Zin coffee.
You should get as much Nick in you as possible
I got a way
Mangold just said Blackout Drunk should be on the wheel
I don't hate it
I don't hate it
Put it all on the wheel
It's Mangold's ass
He should fill in for Rome
He should come in
The wheel is just
Alright, so whoever
Yeah, there'll be a drunk
Like you have to just basically drink for the rest of the show
Okay, great
I quit drinking Is Mangold watching
right now? It's not blackout drunk because, you know,
technically, whatever. Just drunk.
You have to drink. You have to drink
for the rest of the show.
This is going to be awful.
No, it's going to be good. This is what the people want.
I'm excited. We're losers.
Hmm. Oh, God. Wait for the dashes The end dashes
Big cat
Time of chimpanzees
I was a monkey
Butane in my veins
And I'm out to cut the junkie
With the plastic eye balls
Spray paint the vegetables
Dog food stalls
With the beefcake pantyhose
Kill the headlights And put it in neutral.
Stock car flaming with the loser in ruse control.
Babies in Reno with the vitamin C.
Got a couple of couches, sleep on the love seat.
Someone came in saying I'm insane to complain about a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt.
Don't believe everything that you breathe.
You get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve.
So shave your face with some mace
in the dark. Save it all your food stamps
and burn down the trailer park.
Yo.
Cut it.
Cut it.
Cut it.
I'm a loser baby.
So why don't you kill me?
So I'm a loser, baby.
So why don't you kill me?
The solely solo.
Solo.
Ghost.
Go for solo.
For solo.
You have to.
Got a flag.
The mic's not on.
The mic's not on.
Solo.
Come on.
Swind.
Ba-ba-ba-ba.
For Solo.
It's time.
For Solo.
Sing, dude.
It's like I have a turkey neck and it's hanging from a tree.
This mic sucks.
This mic sucks.
This mic sucks. Damn. Go back to the chorus. Let's Mike sucks. It's Mike sucks. It's Mike sucks.
Go back to the chorus.
Let's do it.
Here comes the chorus.
Hold on.
I'm a loser, baby.
So why don't you kill me?
This is what you wanted, people.
Here we go.
I'm a loser, baby.
So why don't you kill me?
Yo.
Yo.
Yo.
Bring it down.
Bring it down.
Bring it down.
Bring it on down.
Ideally, Roan would come in and start rapping in the draft.
Bring it on down. An instrumental breakan would come in and start rapping in the draft. Bring it on down.
An instrumental break.
Chick-fil-A's here.
Nick, you asked your cigarette on my phone.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm using it as an ashtray.
Yeah, baby.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, come on.
You got to want it.
You got to want it.
Getting excited for it. Nice. Come on. You got to want it. You got to want it. Getting excited for it.
Come on.
I'll hear it.
Oh.
So, I'm a loser, baby.
So, why don't you kill me?
So, I'm a loser, baby.
So why don't you kill me?
I'm a loser, baby.
So why don't you kill me?
So why don't you kill me? Soil pedal I'm a loser, baby
So why don't you kill me?
All right.
That was good.
People don't know his name is Beck K. Stevenson.
Enjoyed that.
That felt good.
That felt therapeutic.
It really did.
All right.
Let's do it.
I think we start with the Chick-fil-A because they just arrived.
Or, no, let's start with the person who's got to get drunk.
Both those people have to get started now.
Yeah.
Should we just throw everything up on the wheel?
Everyone gets their assignment?
Yeah.
Or we go one at a time?
I think we go one at a time.
I think we go one at a time.
So we're going to eliminate one at a time?
That seems – I think we should do it.
Yeah, just stretch it out.
Why not?
No, yeah, no, this is what we do.
We go, everyone's on the wheel right now.
Okay, and this is for nuggets.
This is for drinking.
Drink, blacking out.
And then nuggets, and then we'll go.
So when a person gets their thing, they're off the next wheel.
Correct.
Okay.
Have you guys ever seen a blacked out festoolie?
Yeah.
All right, so everyone's on there.
I learned from the wet wheel, I will obey if it lands on me.
Ah.
What's up? I'm going to say no.
I'm going to say no.
I'm going to say for Owen
We'll see if the wheel's just.
I think if Owen gets this
because Owen doesn't drink so people know
or Sass doesn't drink
as well so Sass is off this one as well.
Yeah, take them off this one as well.
Yeah, take them off this one.
We respect that.
Actually, you know what?
Leave them both on.
If they get it, they got to drink all that juice.
That's way worse.
You can decide.
That's like diabetes. You know what?
We'll get a two-liter Diet Coke.
You can drink a two-liter Diet Coke.
That's even worse.
A gallon of milk.
You can either dump it on you or drink it.
I'd rather just drink.
You can't. You're not of age on you or drink it. I'd rather just drink. Well, you can't.
You're not of age.
Sorry, little kid.
Little boy.
I got to get something.
You guys remember that day with the box and Erica?
Oh, yeah.
You and the box.
Ever since then.
I've been drinking.
All right.
So what is it?
What are Sass and Owen drinking if they get this?
Wheel for it.
Yeah, we can wheel for it.
What?
If Sass and Owen end up on this,
if you guys end up getting it,
we will spin again for someone to actually drink alcohol,
but you guys will have to wheel for see what you drink.
Yeah, fair.
Okay?
All right.
This is the best of the wheel.
This is the best of the wheel.
Real quick.
You go first.
I think we should have kiss ball on the wheel.
We should.
Put it on. Yeah. But that would be two people. I think we should have kiss ball on the wheel. We should. Put it on.
Yeah.
But that would be two people.
I'm not in a kiss ball mood.
You get to pick.
You get to choose.
What if kiss ball could be a trade-in?
It's on an awfully homophobic right now, so tread lightly.
We're going to do kiss ball.
Kiss ball and a tattoo.
We're going to do kiss ball.
And Brandon, I am picking you.
I know you are.
And I'm going to tongue you the fuck down.
All right, let's start.
This is for who has to drink for the rest of the show.
I'm going to have a lot of cigarettes beforehand.
Do you motherfuckers care if I ash my cigarette in these mashed potatoes?
I do care.
Go for it.
Yeah, sure.
I don't care.
Could you ash yours on your desk?
All right, here we go.
Hi.
This is, remember, this is to get the integrity of the wheel back.
So there's no complaining.
There's no anything.
It's just doing.
It's also Lent.
Can we put the wheel behind a tomb and have it resurrect on Easter?
Yes.
That's up to the wheel.
Real quick, let's do that.
Can we get a tomb?
Does that imply we've crucified the wheel?
I think we have.
If people complain about this episode, I'm going to lose it.
Oh, they're complaining this time already.
This is the integrity of the wheel being restored.
Showering us with L's.
I don't care.
I'm having fun.
We got people watching.
We have 15 people watching.
We got bananas, cigarettes, juice.
Friday, we're hanging out.
All right, here we go.
What's better than us?
Spin it.
This is for blackout, right?
Yeah, we're responsibly getting drunk for the rest of the episode.
Yeah, wasted.
Yes. We have hard liquor here. I of the episode. Yeah, wasted. Yes.
Do we have hard liquor here?
I don't know.
We have liquor.
Yes, we do.
Two high noons.
Yeah, we could do that.
There's Pink Whitney in the building.
All right, here we go.
I'll show you under my desk.
Okay, cool, cool.
It's a classic elimination wheel, right?
It's an elimination wheel.
This is an elimination wheel.
God damn it.
No, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
Thank God.
KB, you want to black out again?
Very badly.
And the next wheel will be the nuggets.
I wanted to see if Stooley got it because he would have had to find mudslides.
Yeah, that's all he drinks are mudslides.
Each drink is like 700 calories.
He's the most hilarious alcoholic to be.
Yeah, mudslide.
All right, go ahead.
He gets hung over before he gets drunk.
You know how hard it is to drink mudslide out of a flask?
And you're in the work bathroom with it is to drink mudslide out of a flask?
And you're in the work bathroom with a stall just making mudslide.
Who's blending something?
All right, sass is off.
That's good.
Couldn't have drank anyway.
Couldn't have drank anyway.
Couldn't have drank anyway.
I'm a loser, baby.
By the way, I don't think we go best of seven
because we got a lot of wheels.
We got a lot of wheels.
So it's just the last name remaining on this will be the one who has to do it.
Just for the best.
Okay.
Yeah, we're getting out all.
Last man remaining on this.
Yep.
The booze hounds are surviving.
Che would be objectively the funniest.
Yes.
Also, we couldn't lose TJ.
Che's sober.
Now I want Che to win.
Yeah, I want Che to black out.
So bad.
This could be the wheels revenge, though, and it's given us Owen.
God damn it.
Fuck.
Okay, down to four of us.
Reminder, if it is Owen, we will spin again for someone else to drink.
Not unless I make you hold my avocado.
That's right.
He can full send.
I'm off.
All right, this is perfect.
I love all these options.
These are great options.
Owen blacking out.
He's been sober for so long.
It'll be like three drinks.
Jay, you can't complain.
Did you drive in today?
Did you drive in today?
I'm on.
I'm on.
Come on.
Come on.
All right, all right, all right. It's KB. I'm on. Come on. Come on. All right.
All right.
All right.
It's KB.
It's KB that has to block out.
I have to go pick up.
No, no.
It's not KB.
If it's Owen, then we spin again for someone else.
We put everyone back in.
Oh, okay.
Owen still has to drive.
This might be revenge of the wheel.
Right, right.
No, this will be.
The wheel is just.
The wheel will make us all do our worst things.
So it's Owen.
It's Owen.
Jesus.
Fuck you, wheel.
What are we putting on the...
Owen has to eat ash potatoes.
Yeah, no.
It's a lick.
It's a lick.
I'm not doing this.
The Reddit's going to be pissed.
No, no.
It's drinking something.
What do you mean not doing it?
You're not drinking?
No, he is. He's drinking something. What do you mean not doing it? You're not drinking? No, he is.
He's drinking something.
It's milk, Diet Coke, juice.
And you have to drink a lot of it.
Liquor, beer.
We're not making you drink.
What do you want me to drink?
Juice?
No, no.
The wheel will decide.
The wheel decides your drink.
What's the other thing that you want to put on there?
Put root beer.
A two liter of root beer.
Two liter of root beer.
Milk. A gallon of milk. You. Two liter of root beer. Milk.
A gallon of milk.
You want me to just see what's at the bar?
All the grubs and stuff?
Maybe something not.
Maybe something pseudo-edible.
Dressing.
Dressing?
This all feels much worse than him having to drink.
I don't want him to drink.
He doesn't drink.
It's a thing.
Yeah, I know.
I'm not going to be responsible for someone to break their sobriety.
Maybe we should just spin it again then.
I don't know.
He's going to drink something.
I'll drink something.
Yeah.
What do you want to do?
All right, so put it up there.
Diet Coke, milk, root beer.
What's the other thing?
Like suntan?
Like Australian gold?
Australian gold, yeah. I guess that could be on there.
What's the root beer with the bulldog on it?
Mug.
Mug.
Mug, yeah, he's got to drink it.
What about Red Bull?
A liter of mug.
Would you take a boner pill?
Oh, would you take a gas station boner pill?
What about Red Bull?
You just fucking drink a shitload of Montserrat.
Yeah, I could have like eight of them.
Yeah, all right.
Red Bull's in a dick pill.
It seems like that's worse than drinking the alcohol.
I think that's worse than like the alcohol. No, Trey.
I think that's worse than like four drugs.
Here, do the next wheel.
I'll have somebody drop something off for me.
What do you got?
You got a guy.
I'll get something.
Okay.
What are you going to get?
I don't know.
So you're going to drink something?
Yeah, yeah.
Whole milk.
It's got to be a lot of it.
Yes, yes.
All right.
Make sure that's-
We're going to do the alcohol wheel again?
We're going to do the alcohol wheel again.
Everybody back on.
Everyone's back on except Owen.
If the wheel is angry with us, it'll be sass.
I don't think we put sass back on.
No, no, because we have to test the wheel to see if it's angry.
Yes.
The wheel is going to decide what happens today.
This is not our show.
This is the wheel's show.
It's his last hurrah before he's in a tomb.
You know the wheel is angry.
Yeah, I do.
It's so angry.
It's probably...
Everyone who does it, like anything you...
Whatever your worst case scenario is, you are going to get that.
Like, we just saw that happen.
The guy who doesn't drink.
The wheel is clearly irate.
My straight ass will probably get kiss ball.
Yeah.
All right, here we go.
Spin it again.
Maybe the wheel's sentient now.
Yeah, no, it has.
It's come alive.
Fucking have to pick a dude to kiss.
Somebody I work with.
I work with them enough to where I find attraction.
The mermaid effect. That ain't no tomb.
That's a headstone. I want a tomb.
Big rock in front of it.
Oh, you want the whole
cave effect? Uh-huh.
Someone is getting wet.
Don't worry, folks. That is part of this.
That will be the third one we do.
Fuck.
So they have to be wet for the entire time.
This is to blackout?
Che would have the best mugshot if he got a DUI.
Oh, my God.
A Che mugshot shirt would sell.
Like this.
Like this.
He'd be like this.
Dude.
It would sell.
We should just make one.
Yeah.
Just say he got arrested for pedophilia.
Dude. Yes. K say he got arrested for pedophilia. Dude.
Yes.
KB.
For the best.
It is for the best.
Definitely.
Brandon would be very funny.
Yeah.
Fasoli would be funny.
Yeah.
What if he just got sad?
That's me.
There we go.
I'm going to have to make some adjustments
to the rest of my day if it ends up on me.
I just volunteered.
That's how much you care.
I was going to have to send some text messages.
I want Sass to get the nuggets
because nugget four.
Smaller than any order.
I was going to say you could stay in Sass' room
tonight. You could have had a sleepover.
She's not coming home.
Would have been fun.
Eddie's not coming home tonight.
Wheel is just.
God damn it.
I don't think you're good.
It's going to be Sass.
It's going to be Sass.
The wheel is angry.
The wheel is pissed.
If it's Sass, the wheel is purely unjust.
If it's Fasoli or TJ.
No, it's as just as it could be.
Wait, Fasoli or TJ, they have to sit Indian style and get blacked out in this room.
TJ's running the wheel. Oh in this room he's running the wheel
oh shit tj is running the wheel all right it's gonna be sass the wheel is pissed the wheel is
so bad we're exercising all the demons on this wheel that's a good color comment why is the
wheel like an angsty teen right now it's like fuck you guys you can you fuck this up. Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, my God.
We didn't hear.
Sit Indian style.
It's not.
Oh, yeah.
It's sad.
We always piss.
Do it again.
This shit is so real.
Oh, my God.
We should not have disobeyed this.
Oh, it's so bad.
All right.
So, Sass, what are you going to drink?
I have no idea.
What do you want me to do?
You want to do eight monster energies?
No. You want a gas eight monster energies? No.
You want a gas station dick pill?
Yeah.
Milk?
A gallon of milk.
Just a gallon of milk.
A hard teen would be weird.
Do a gallon of milk.
A hard teen.
A hard minor.
You have a 20-year-old alcohol wing.
What are you doing?
What?
What are you doing?
I'm having someone drop off 12 Heineken Zeros with 10 milligrams of THC in each of them.
Jesus.
That's bad.
You want to do a gallon of milk?
Is it Jamba?
I'd rather do Heineken Zeros.
Is it Jamba?
He's going through.
Can we get more Heineken Zeros?
Can we get 24 Heineken Zeros?
Yeah, we'll get a bowl of them.
We'll get a bowl of them.
You guys would both just drink 12 Heineken Zeros.
That's so gross.
That's perfect.
That's perfect.
That's actually as just as it can get.
That's just, yeah.
All right, so spin it again.
Someone's still getting drunk.
This is how Final Destination started, I think.
We disobeyed the wheel, and now it's coming for all of us.
Oh, man.
All right, here we go.
So you're getting 24 Heineken Zeros.
You don't need to do the teach.
You get 24 Heineken Zeros.
Yeah.
You each are going to finish 12.
Yes.
All right.
And then the show will be over.
Yes.
Okay, here we go.
This show could go to 6 o'clock.
Easily.
Fine.
Fine by me.
I have a train at 3.
Should I reschedule that?
I would.
Yeah.
Maybe.
Maybe.
I would say 4.
30 might be a-
It's 1.30.
We haven't even started doing anything yet.
Yeah, we have not.
We haven't found who's getting drunk because the wheel is so angry.
Okay.
Spin it.
It's unbelievable how pissed this is.
This is still to get blackout.
Yeah, this is the first one.
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
We have gotten two people off the wheel.
It is stopping quicker these days.
Yeah, yeah.
I think they did a systems update.
It's been a little bit more random.
So next one, we're going to do chicken nuggets,
and then we're going to do wet.
It's got to be sopping wet.
Yeah, let's not even use the word wet anymore.
This is a sopping wheel.
Yeah, sopping wheel.
We were
texting on the Yak group chat
and I was like, maybe we just all need to
drown each other.
Should be funny. Well, Che volunteered to get waterboarded.
Oh, he did.
Oh, you did? Yeah.
He volunteered to get waterboarded on the chat.
He actually said he wanted to when he said, I'm very
curious to see what it feels like. We have to promise
when he says stop, we have to stop.
Well, I can't break that promise.
No way. I've never
tortured before. Did you say you've kind of
tried it before? No, I've been curious.
Guantanamo Che. Because I heard it's pretty bad.
You could do it.
Guantanamo Che is happening.
Guantanamo Che. Make that a shirt.
We're a torture show now.
Would you like to get waterboarded?
Yeah, you have to.
But I can't.
I can't.
I'm being straight up with you.
I will not promise to stop him when you want to stop him.
That has to be.
I will use everything in my power to pull him off of you.
Oh, no.
I'll do it, but you have to stop him.
I'm telling you right now, I will not stop.
Then no deal.
I feel like it's a fair offer.
Yeah, this is a great promotion for the MacTowels.
I think it's fair offer for me, too.
That's not a fair offer from you.
Why?
The whole point of it is you don't stop.
They put a towel over your head and you pour water on them.
It holds you down.
It simulates drowning.
I won't lie.
I'm kind of curious to see what it feels like.
We'll continue this.
Maybe we'll have a whole waterboard episode.
We all do it?
Yeah.
I don't want a waterboard.
I don't either. That's horrifying. All right, spin the wheel. Keep spinning the wheel. I want to. We all do it? Yeah. I don't want a waterboard. I don't either.
That's horrifying.
All right, spin the wheel.
Keep spinning the wheel.
I want to.
It's probably not that bad.
Oh, I wouldn't stop.
It's a form of torture.
It is a torture.
What do you mean?
Use it on like the worst.
Wait, wait, wait.
What do you mean it's not that bad?
You two can shut the fuck up.
Jay is stronger than any man.
Now it's Nick and Brandon.
Brandon is very nervous.
I do not want to get drunk right now.
You kind of can't, but you will.
Right.
Yeah, you will.
Why can't you?
Domestically.
I was, yeah.
I have been away all week to show up.
If you come home hammered.
Hammered.
It won't be the best.
It won't be the best conversation, but the wheel is just.
You were hammered for a lot of the week you were gone.
Yeah.
So it might look like a problem.
It's all good.
I actually was supposed to get a beer with someone at five,
so that would be like, how many beers did you get?
One.
You in Jimmy Fallon mode?
What?
I'm on my Jimmy Fallon shit?
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Brandon is safe.
Oh, big hair dude. Damn it. My two shit? Oh, oh, oh, oh. Brandon is safe. Oh, big hair, dude.
Damn it.
My two boys.
Yo, we are boys for life.
Man, I needed that. Thanks, man.
Also, your pants match perfectly with that shirt.
Thank you.
Oh, all right.
Beanie fits just right, too.
Boys.
Something hard to find.
I'm blacking out.
All right, Nick.
It's hard now.
Go get you.
Go get you some drinks, Nick.
Time to get drunk.
Okay.
All right, next wheel.
Chicken, the tender's got to finish 50.
50.
5-0 nuggets.
5-0.
Wheel is just.
This is probably worse than the alcohol.
Fuck.
I'm on a caloric deficit.
I'll do it.
I would hate to get that.
What is Nick going to drink?
What's he getting?
He'll find something.
There's definitely Pink Whitney.
That would do the trick.
Someone's going to get the zeros?
Yeah, I think Spider.
Okay, nice.
All right.
This is for Nuggets.
What are you saying?
Just everyone's going to be doing the thing.
I'll intercept them.
We should probably get koozies for whatever he's drinking or cups.
Okay, intercept them.
Why?
If it's an alcoholic.
Not yet.
Sponsor?
Okay.
People wanted me to get drunk.
Nick's going to be a great drunk.
Is this for 50 Nuggets? He actually is excited for Nick to get drunk. Nick's going to be a great drunk. Is this for 50 Nuggets?
He actually is excited for Nick to be wasted.
No, he's not.
You don't think so?
He opens up a lot more.
Yeah, I guess that's true.
Talk some shit.
That's going to be bad for him.
Are you allowed to get more than one punishment?
Yeah, right.
You stay on the wheel or no?
You get off the wheel.
You're off the wheel.
Yeah, we're going gonna keep going through punishments
so are sass and I off
really
that's lame as fuck
you wanna be back on
I think Nick's off sass and I are still on
well I
how many wheels we gonna have
we'll take you off for the nuggets
yeah
I would rather get the nuggets.
I think everybody should get on the wet wheel.
True, true, true.
No matter if they've already got one.
All right, here we go.
This is...
Nugget wheel.
We're just going to sit here and drink non-alcoholic beverages?
Correct.
This is a punishment.
This is the...
You're not supposed to enjoy it.
It's not like...
It's supposed to be an enjoyable episode.
No, my point is it's not even that bad.
You think it's going to be fun to drink 12 of them?
That will be bad.
That will be bad.
12 beers?
You're not even getting the alcohol.
I'll tell you right now, you won't.
Yeah, this will be bad.
You'll get like six.
All right, I'm fine doing it, I just thought.
Your tummy's going to be so full.
Yeah, probably.
It's not going to be fun.
I got a big tummy. All right, here we go. Snuggets. You have to be so full. Yeah, probably. It's not going to be fun. I got a big tummy.
All right, here we go.
Nuggets.
You have to finish all 50.
What Frank was not able to do.
I'm just hungry.
I wanted the nuggets.
I really cannot get this one.
Why?
Because you're not eating again?
No, I'm just on a strict caloric deficit.
I think Nick just went to a bar.
That'd be funny.
How many calories are you taking?
Come on. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Fuck.
DJ's probably upset too.
Brandon, do you ever get nuggets from Chick-fil-A?
Rarely.
Just three times a week.
This is going to be a great decider if the wheel is as angry as we think it is.
It's not that mad.
Brandon getting it would suck.
What do you do in a standard?
20?
No, I just do 12.
I'm curious.
How fast did Frank do it?
A show.
It was like an hour and 20 minutes
Showdown
Showdown
Motherfucking showdown
Alright
You want this
I do not
I definitely do not want this
Oh Brandon
Yeah get it boys
I think you should have to eat Yeah I think you should have to eat.
Yeah!
I think you should have to eat 90.
I got 90.
Yeah.
Maybe we can...
I don't know.
I think 50 will be tough.
What if he blows...
Maybe this is the wheel
coming back around on us.
What if he blows by Frank?
Brandon, you have to sit here
and do it.
15 minutes.
I don't know how to use
Frank as a reference. He doesn't eat that much. Yeah, I don't know how hard... Brandon, what have to sit here and do it. 15 minutes. I don't know how to use Frank as a reference.
He doesn't eat that much.
I don't know how hard it was.
Brandon, what are you doing?
Can we do side bets on how much I'll actually eat?
I think you could do it.
What?
I think you could do it.
50?
I think he'll get like 51 and then quit.
Chick-fil-A nuggets are small, too, right?
They're like tater tots.
Popcorn chicken.
What did Frank eat? 49 and a half. Were they Chick-fil-A nuggets or McDonald's? Chick-fil-A nuggets are small, too, right? They're like tater tots. Popcorn chicken. What did Frankie eat?
49 and a half.
Were they Chick-fil-A nuggets or McDonald's?
Yeah, Chick-fil-A.
Brandon, I think you got to eat 60 because you were so happy.
No.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No.
Eat 60.
And dish out the other one.
There's 90 in there, so take one out and eat the other two.
What do you got, Nicky?
I can't eat 60.
I can't eat 60.
This is supposed to be a punishment. You're excited. What'd you get, Nicky? This is supposed to be a punishment
and you're excited. What'd you get, Nick?
Nick, what tactic did you choose? I made
Nick juice.
So, uh... I trust.
Brandon got nuggets, which is actually like, maybe
the wheel is no longer mad at us.
Well, so Brandon was the...
When the wheel landed on wet, he was the only
one that agreed to go
Oh shit
Wait wait wait
The wheel is very just
The wheel liked you
The wheel dishes out punishment
Alright so you gotta eat two of those boxes minus ten
And like the thing is
You guys know I hate Nick Juice
You always have
You've never enjoyed it to the slightest
I'm not allowed to say what I'm drinking, right, Che?
It's better if you don't.
But yeah, I saw him put the...
That's so true.
No, but we also don't know for a fact there's alcohol in there.
So wait.
You want to try?
Why would he not be able to say what's going to happen?
So wait.
Other brands.
Someone's going to sue?
Yeah, you can say what it is.
Just don't say what brand it is.
What do you think, Kat?
It's straight vodka.
Let me try it.
It's literally straight vodka.
You're a good actor.
The thing about Nick Juice is I don't mix it with anything.
It's just vodka.
It's literally just vodka, dude.
It's vodka.
It's just vodka.
Is it just clear?
I have a chaser.
It's just a glass full of vodka.
I have two glasses with vodka.
Get it.
It's just, that's Nick G.
You think I was lying?
Oh, man.
I didn't realize.
So Brandon was the only one who was down for it.
Yeah.
And so the wheel could not be more just now.
Brandon, can you give us updates every 10 or something?
Brandon, can you give us updates?
Every five, even.
All right, so I think maybe we go Juices Wild next.
What do you...
Okay, Juices Wild.
Yeah, because I've been just sitting juice for the rest of the show.
That's both orange juices.
Yeah, that's...
Yeah, and then...
Because that would be good.
We'll do Juices Wild, then we'll do Wet Wheels, so we'll wash the juice away.
Where are they doing it?
In the bathroom.
It has to be in the bathroom?
With the cam, yeah.
I think on the street.
What about the street? What about the red... Yeah, I'm down yeah i think on the street what about the street
what about the red middle of the center i'm down for the middle of seventh yeah i'm square next to
elmo yeah yeah okay just in the middle of the street what are you doing middle of seventh
this is wild my first drink and i am holding back vomit that is so much vodka it's all vodka
holy fuck you get like There's better tactics.
Just drink Pink Whitney.
By the way, the audience is growing.
That means they're coming back for us.
They don't like us.
No, but I think they're starting.
What is the chat like, TJ?
I don't want to know.
A lot of the L's have subsided.
Yes.
They know the wheel is just.
The wheel has proven just.
Let's just have fun.
I'm going to tweet this out.
Where are my zips at?
Sassy's getting antsy.
Sassy's getting antsy.
Those look so good.
They're on store three, just grabbing all the six packs to make 24.
Jesus Christ.
Just doing it?
They went to three different stores.
Like Spider, right?
Poor guys.
It's Max and Spider.
They're hanging out.
Here we go.
This is Juices Wild in the street.
Yeah.
Juices Wild in the street.
What is the chat saying?
I see a lot of spamming right now.
Is it bad?
At 10X?
They're 10X.
Come on.
We're slowly coming back.
I feel like we're slowly bringing people back.
Get on our side.
Get on our side.
We need you guys.
The wheel is just.
I'll admit it. We need you guys. Here we go. We need you on our side. Get on our side. We need you guys. The wheel is just. I'll admit it. We need you guys.
Here we go. We need you on our side.
It's TJ's dad.
Fuck yeah. It is TJ. TJ's dad
is the biggest hater. Nah, he loves us.
Shut up, Snooze, you fucking
loser. What'd he say?
Jake Malasek, though. I saw it. As he should.
What'd he say? Nothing. Nothing.
He's a loser. Jake Malasek
said something? Jake Malasek did say something. What'd he say? The loser it's Jake Malasek said something Jake Malasek did say something
what'd he say the show's gone downhill I hate Malasek why do you hate him I like him he didn't
get on board today with my mincey I was trolling mincey and he wouldn't do it then he he wouldn't
he's an asshole Malasek has let power go to his head he went to Virginia and then like he tweeted
what's your favorite NCAA tournament moment? And just has a
huge Virginia player right in the middle.
Kyle Guy.
Bullshit.
He got reprimanded for that.
UMBC wasn't on the graphic.
What are we at? Virginia was.
He's cute as a button though.
He's a cute boy.
Here we go. Juices Wild in the middle of the 7th half.
Are we putting people back on or no?
No.
No.
For wet, everyone's on.
I think for wet, everyone's on.
For juice.
Yeah, we'll do a traditional eliminator wet.
No, I think the wet.
Okay.
We want to end with the traditional wet?
I think we do one wet, and then we end with the traditional wet with everyone on.
Okay.
All right.
So this will be Juice is Wild.
The next one will be wet with the remaining people.
And then at the very end, to end the show, we'll do a traditional wet with everyone.
Traditional wet.
One person?
One person has to get wet.
Stopping wet at the end of the show.
So that could be everyone is up for that.
All right.
Here we go.
Juice is Wild.
Damn it. Juice is wild. Damn it.
I wanted him.
A real juicy J.
Okay.
Was Fastouli here on Tuesday?
I feel a little bad for him.
I don't really know.
He doesn't really have to.
He shouldn't have to.
Zah was, and Zah was part of it.
I feel a little bad for Fastouli right now.
You want to take him off?
We can take him off.
I just realized that you have nothing.
You didn't do anything wrong.
Let's take Fastouli off, yeah.
Take him off and redo the Juice is Wild.
No, we don't have to. No, we've got to redo the Juice is Wild. No, we don't have to.
No, we got to redo the Juice is Wild because he shouldn't be on.
You're right.
That's not right.
The wheel is just.
You shouldn't be on.
He's trying 10X.
Hate him to death, but he doesn't.
You'll be on the traditional wet wheel at the end.
But that's not.
Like him having to pour juices on himself.
Like that's not.
He did nothing wrong.
Exactly.
Oh, yeah. We're all implicated in did nothing wrong. Exactly. Oh, yeah.
We're all implicated in other ways.
All right.
Juice is wild.
It's just four of us?
Fuck.
Damn it.
Put Fristoli back on.
No.
I'm just kidding.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
I like this crop.
This sucks.
I didn't realize it's just four.
Have you guys ever seen a juicy TJ before? Nick, that did not sound good. I'm holding. I'm kidding. I like this crop. This sucks. I didn't realize it's just four. Have you guys ever seen a juicy TJ before?
Nick, that did not sound good.
I'm holding back vomit.
You guys are really juicy.
Too juicy?
He's too juicy.
Too juicy Hitchings?
That just enraged me for some reason.
That little tick at the end.
Too juicy Hitchings is good, though.
Too Juicy is a great nickname.
Love you, Che.
There we go.
All right, TJ.
I kind of wanted to do this one.
You want to do a best of seven on this one?
Eliminator.
A couple of big ten beauties.
Juicy Cat.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Juicy TJ.
Juicy TJ.
Juicy.
Too juicy.
Too juicy.
Too juicy TJ.
Oh, that's a big T.
I want that on a T-shirt.
Just a TJ wheel.
How is TJ going to- A TJ wheel. I go T. I want that on a T-shirt, just a T.J. wheel. How is T.J. going to do it? A T.J. wheel.
I go turn.
I like that.
Festoli, if you do T.J.'s job, could I do your job while he goes and does Juice of Wild?
Yeah, we might need a tech guy in here anyway if we're going to zoom this or something.
Okay, so we're going to zoom it.
Tech guys are probably watching, so one of them come to the studio, please.
So then what do we have left?
We're going to do a wet wheel with the three of us, sopping wet, me, Stephen, and KB,
and then what's left?
Y'all mentioned tattoo wheel, but that doesn't seem feasible.
Tattoo wheel, fast banana, hold my avocado, I'm about to go full send.
Oh, the crew diss?
Crew diss.
Crew dissing. Kiss ball. Stop it. Kiss ball. I'm about to go full send. Crudis. Crudis. Crudis.
Kissball.
Stop it.
Kissball.
Magnum Vax ID.
Kissball outside in Times Square.
Tattoo.
With a balloon.
Tattoo.
Okay.
Suicide.
Suicide reel.
Throw me on it. Down for that. Throw me on it You're down for that
Throw me on it
Throw it up
Alright so
It's already very drunk
I haven't eaten yet today
And I've had one cup of vodka
So much vodka in there
TJ you good with this?
Where was TJ on Tuesday?
What was he saying?
I was the one that brought up
That we needed to spend
TJ I will do the juices wild.
So what were you saying when everyone...
He was team wheel.
Oh, Brandon.
Team do the wheel?
I'm going to have chicken in my throat.
Sorry.
This is going to be the worst case of chicken throat.
Jay, what did you just do?
Why was that so funny, Jay?
Jay fell.
Oh, Jay fell.
Okay, so what's the next?
Next wheel's wet.
Three of us, and then we got to figure out the last two things.
I feel like we've overrun the showers.
Done.
We have to find a different vessel.
What do you mean?
Fountain?
Dampness.
I don't know.
Is there a way to get soaking wet?
You have to leave the building and find a way to get soaking wet.
Yes.
We need a lot of... Get some cameramen on hand.
Like, filmers.
Or women.
Or women.
Jesus Christ, Kyle.
Alright.
You gotta leave the building and get wet?
Yeah.
I like that.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm not drunk, but I'm sick now.
I skipped the fun part
I feel fine I'm just sad
Do Pink Whitney dude
I don't know why you're drunk
You'll get there
The show's not going to stop until you blow
A 50%
Yeah I have to have a 50%
I blew a.42 in New Haven, Connecticut.
No shit.
That's a lot, man.
That's like dead.
That's why he had to go sober at 22.
What's up?
You had a life of drinking in him, though.
What's the chat saying?
Is there anybody's birthday in the chat?
Oh, fuck.
I have to give a birthday shout out.
Oh, hell yeah.
You should actually give it.
I think I have to give one. People are saying TJ shouldn't have to do it because he's the best on the chat. Oh, fuck. I have to give a birthday shoutout. You should actually give it.
People are saying TJ shouldn't have to do it because he's the best on the sticks.
I'll do it too.
I'll do it with you.
What could TJ do?
This is how the people have betrayed us.
The backfire.
But I agree that TJ shouldn't.
I agree with that.
I feel like TJ has a job to do.
TJ's walking out right now
why don't we just have TJ do it at the end
TJ's so good at his job he can do it juicy
he could do it juicy
I don't think he deserves to
young god
I will take your brunt
that's kind of what makes it
that you don't have to do it
we need you on the sticks.
Right.
Stanko's in there.
Let's put up a straw poll.
Oh, yeah.
Strawpoll.com.
Can you put up a poll on the YouTube chat?
Those boys don't even know how to do a straw poll.
I wouldn't mind seeing a juicy stanko.
Wouldn't hate that at all.
I've seen it enough.
Happy birthday to KingSanchez20, Nick.
Oh, happy birthday, KingSanchez20.
Okay, so. He asked for birthday, King Sanchez 20.
Okay, so.
He asked for it today.
What are you at?
Brando.
It's not even done with 30.
You're tapping already?
No.
What are you at?
I'm counting right now.
18.
You've had 18?
Brandon.
What?
That's nothing.
Okay, I just made one point. What's the chat saying now?
18's pretty good.
That's a great pitch.
TJ, why don't you eat the mashed potatoes and one of us will go get juiced.
These are ash potatoes.
Ash potatoes, yeah.
It needs more ash.
I'll smoke another cigarette.
You want to do that?
You want to eat the ash potatoes?
Yeah, sure.
Is that fair?
TJ eats the ash potatoes.
That's just like bullying.
No, there's only a little ash.
Oh, never mind. There's a lot of ash in there. Ash potatoes are That's just like bullying. No. There's only a little. Oh, never mind.
There's a lot of ash in there.
Ash potatoes are filled with butts.
How many chicken nuggets would you make a sandwich?
You know what?
Let's do this.
Four, five.
The chat will decide.
Okay.
No, let's see.
We're giving too much power to the chat.
Yeah, no.
This is a season six, seven finale.
This is how we do it.
I'm terrified of them, so let them do it.
Who should get juicy?
Chat, me, Steven, or KB?
It's a real show.
It's not a chat show.
Well, they took that away from us.
They did.
We've given them too much power.
What does TJ do?
How many bananas we got?
Four.
TJ, eat all four bananas.
We can break it up in a minute and do another karaoke.
Yeah, we could do another karaoke.
Yeah, I think we got to get the vibes right.
Reset.
Yeah, we need Gavin.
Yeah, let's do it.
I'm going to take a piss.
Let's do a karaoke.
TJ should have to eat all four bananas.
And then we'll do it.
It's me, KB, or Steven.
I've seen five juicy KB's
compared to what
in your life
I just saw my first shay
alright I'm gonna take this
a lot of KB now
a lot of KB
I'm putting a poll in chat
stand by
what's the update on the brew
me
I don't know
you see I accidentally
texted the yak
yeah oh no those boys are taking their time I don't know. You see I accidentally texted the yak. Yeah.
Oh no.
Those boys are taking their time.
They're just having fun.
It's Friday.
I had to get something off my chest.
I'm trying to figure out what it was.
Dried spunk.
My chest has been covered with things I need to get off. Quit was dried spunk my chest has been covered with
dried spunk
things I need to get off
it's really fun to say
phonetically that's a fun word
I want one of those chicken nuggets but I can't
no you can there's extra
there's 90
you bought 90?
yeah
pass that other 30
I don't want it to absorb any Nick juice.
We have an extra 30 if y'all are hungry.
Yeah, I want a lot of them.
I think that would slow me down.
Where the hell are the zips?
Yeah, where are the zips?
I don't fucking know, man.
It's fine.
What else can we put on the...
Do we have a full wheel yet?
You can't pass that over here when you're done.
Full 24 was secured three minutes ago.
All right. You just missed it? We threw it over here when you're done. Full 24 was secured three minutes ago. All right.
You just missed it?
We threw it.
It was a terrible throw.
That was not a terrible throw.
It hit your hand.
It hit your hand.
It hit your hand.
One more.
Now you're chewing into the mic.
Yoki, is there a sporting goods store around here?
Not really very close
Yes why?
Somebody should have to go buy a bow and arrow
I don't think there's that type of sporting goods
Okay
I would imagine
Or a sword
I want a sword
I want a spear
You want a spear?
Yeah I want a spear
Alright
Do we have the chat?
Do we have the vote? I'll get you a spear You just do just be all right it's all we have the chat do we have the uh vote
i'll get you a spear just do it on twitter tj i got a guy
do like a 10 minute oh all right well kb you're getting juiced kyle i just don't think they like
you yeah that's all it is but well he doesn't like them who's gonna no i don't like the ones who are harass me simple as that all right so now it's
down to me and steven for who gets wet who gets wet sopping wet without using the office correct
you have to figure out that's a fun one correct well funny not and then we'll and then we have
to figure out what the last person has to do, or is the last person safe?
Are we spy camming with you out trying to get wet?
Yeah.
Someone will go out there with you.
Why are you saying me?
Not me.
Are you getting hired?
That wasn't even me talking drunk.
I said it's not going to be me.
Not me.
Okay, so you're going to go get juices wild, KB.
Who's filming me?
Stanko, can you film him?
Can you sign into Zoom and go outside with him?
This is going to be great.
Middle of seventh half. You need me to pour, or are you going to be able to pour all six bottles? This is going to be great. Middle of seventh half. You need me to pour
or are you going to be able
to pour all six bottles?
This is going to be
fucking great.
I can pour.
Yeah, I might want you to.
TJ, you got to eat these bananas.
Me?
TJ.
What's the pulp level
on the juice?
You just got to eat
four bananas.
Original pulp.
Oh, people are saying
piss dogs.
Okay, we could. That's fine. Oh, people are saying piss dogs. Okay, we could.
That's fine.
So loser.
Okay.
I could probably pee in about 25 minutes.
Yeah, I just peed, but yeah.
And I'll have to change my pants so they're not black pants.
Or I could just sit in my piss.
I'm happy to do that.
We'd get a lot of backlash if you sat in your piss.
Why? From who? Because these chairs are shared. I'm happy to do that. We'd get a lot of backlash if you sat in your piss. Why?
From who? Because these chairs are shared.
Yeah, we could clean it. Piss is one of the most
cleanable... Or we have the new yak towels
which are now available in the barstool store.
So you can sit on the yak towel. Alright, so here it is.
We're perfect. I don't know if I...
Well, I'll try. Let's wait for KB.
He's going to do Juices Wild. Then the last spin will be
one of us is
getting sopping wet and one of us is pissing
our pants boom
I don't know which one is better
I don't think either are good
piss dogs is fucking funny
if you get sopping wet you can
piss your pants anyway
you can do both
KB you gotta dump all of these the chat said
piss dogs so we're doing piss dogs if this doesn't
get the people back on our side,
I'm going to lose it. I'm going to be like KB. I'm going to
fucking lose it. Alright. Zip time.
Zip time.
You want to do a song real quick?
While we wait for KB? KB, what are you doing?
The juices are right here.
The juices are right here.
Oh, I thought
it was self-dump.
Including the cranberry.
Yeah, the juice is wild, bro.
Why is cranberry funnier than orange?
Yeah, you do need both.
You're not just going to leave me and Nick in here drinking and eating?
I'm still here.
Oh, hey.
Get drinking, sass.
What are you doing?
We're at a Klostown.
What are you doing?
Are you just reading it?
I can't.
Start drinking.
I was looking to see which one had the highest alcohol percentage,
but it looks like they're all 0.0.
Well, that would be what they are.
Well, sometimes they're like 0.03.
So you were going to get drunk off of 0.03?
Get a buzz?
You'd be better off going to communion.
I think this is I need a bottle opener
Try the
The O'Douls
Probably doesn't need a bottle opener
Yeah
Do whatever you need to do bro
Just get to drinking
Oh TJ's eating his bananas
How are they TJ?
Eat one fast, TJ.
Yummy.
Eat one fast.
That sounded like a sound bite.
That sounded like Roan.
When's Roan's ass crazy?
I know, he needs to be punished, too.
Oh, yeah, TJ.
He just deep throated that.
We need to call Roan and assign him something to do.
Where he's at?
Yeah, oh, here we go.
Oh, my God.
Look at how cool KB's been looking lately.
Starting with cranberry?
You've got to start with orange.
Yeah, you've got to go a base of orange.
Wait, where are the towels?
Let's put a towel on his seat.
There's like four towels right there.
Alright, perfect.
Is he going out into the street?
It looks like he's filming his album cover or something.
Why does he look so uncomfortable?
He looks like scared.
That's just his natural state.
Oh, they're going out in the middle of the street.
In the center of the street.
It's a great finale to season eight.
Seven.
Oh, is he taking off the kicks? What's he? Oh, he can't get those. Oh's a great finale to season eight. Seven. Oh, is he taking off the kicks?
What's he...
Oh, he can't get those off.
Oh, my God.
Oh, shit, Kyle.
Oh, fuck.
Kyle.
Oh, man.
That was crazy.
Fuck.
That was crazy.
This is wild.
This is badass
his face isn't changing at all
oh fuck
I hate that like my career
is directly tied to him
cause he could go at any second
juice is wild
he did it though
you're god damn right he did.
Juicy fruit.
Oh, he is going to be sticky.
Oh, it's going to be terrible.
That's going to suck to drink 12.
It's like it tastes like a Heineken,
but you can tell something's missing.
What?
This is alcohol.
What is he yelling?
Why does he take the elevator?
We're on the second floor.
Take the elevator every day.
Sticky.
I got stuck in my elevator in my building today.
Really?
It's 15 to 20.
Is he getting yelled at by somebody?
All right.
Ready?
Oh, no.
We'll wait until he gets back up here.
Too juicy for the law.
And now the show just goes until he's get finished.
So what?
Looks like something.
Brandon's done.
What are you on?
How do you feel?
He hasn't even finished 30.
I'm exactly halfway.
Oh, my God. And you are slowing down. How do you feel he hasn't even finished 30 i'm exactly halfway oh my god and you are slowing down like how do you feel fine i'm gonna eat till i start getting full i'm gonna
take a little break you can't palm the extra half tj can you google how many chicken like how many
how many nuggets are in one chicken i want to know how many chickens brandon's taken down
i mean what part of the chicken do they uh i don't even want to know how many chickens Brandon's taken down. Great question. What part of the chicken do they eat?
I don't even want to know.
You didn't want to ask that question.
There he comes.
He does look so cool.
He looks cool or juicy.
You look so cool juicy.
What was going on in the lobby?
Why are you getting yelled?
You got juice coming off your hat.
You can make three and a half pounds of chicken nuggets from one chicken.
Wow.
You're using every inch of the chicken.
How are you feeling, KB?
It was very cold.
Just humiliating.
You're juicy now, though.
Can we zoom in on the juicy socks?
Can someone say something to you in the lobby?
Oh, yeah. That's to you in the lobby? Oh, yeah.
That's a bitch in the lobby.
This old woman was like, do not get on the elevator with me.
I didn't even hear her.
And I was just like, the boys.
I was like, I feel so stupid right now.
And she said, you look stupid.
What?
Put that on the armrest.
That wasn't for you to get warm.
Now available in the Barstool store.
It's pinned to our comments.
I love it.
Yak towels.
I love it.
Yak towels.
All right.
Ready?
Steven and I.
Is this Piss Dogs?
Are you crying?
Yeah.
Wait, are you drinking?
You got to start drinking.
You guys must have been shaking up from almost getting drunk.
I'll drink one of those with you guys.
Three times over the course of one minute. drinking? You gotta start drinking. You guys shaken up from almost getting I'll drink one of those with you guys.
over the course of one minute.
You guys were fucking playing Frogger. This is for Wet Wheel and then
Pissed Dogs will be...
So what does this decide?
It's crazy that none of the three cars hit us.
Yeah. You guys were hitting...
That would have been good content.
We were trying to get hit. The first one
was the closest when KB almost got hit.
All right, so first to four means the coldest juice ever.
What was that from the freezer?
I'm freezing cold.
You could have been the first man from Barstool to get blasted by a car.
First man.
Don't forget that Liz Gonzalez.
Liam, Liam, Liam.
Liam got hit?
Allegedly.
He couldn't walk for like three months.
He was laying on pretty thick.
Okay.
Yeah.
Classic Liam.
Classic Liam.
Always known for being so boisterous.
All right, so first of four has to get wet, and then the other person has to piss?
What do you mean piss?
Piss dogs.
This is going to be bad. I was wrong about this.
Yeah, you're always
wrong about everything. Should we just both do piss dogs?
I'll say you're halfway through your first beer.
Yeah. You gotta chug those.
No, the wheel is just. Should we just
both do piss dogs? No, the wheel is just.
Okay. I think we have to do, right?
Steven Jay wants to do piss dogs. I know, it's very bizarre.
I have to pee.
I'm like 10 minutes away.
Do you know your body that well?
You don't?
Every single time I go to the bathroom, it's an emergency.
That sounds like a nightmare.
Yeah, I've had to go.
Your mic sucks.
I've had to go home.
I went home yesterday.
Let's get the show running.
Let's go.
I missed out on something important because I had to go home and poop.
KB, you might have to help out with the beers.
If you want the show to end.
Getting wet sucks because you gradually get drier.
Right.
More cold.
You get a little bit cold.
But getting juice wet, you just get colder and sticky.
Your eyes might stick together.
There's a sweatshirt on the easel if you want that.
KB, that was good.
You want that sweatshirt?
They want me to suffer.
Down a quarter of it.
Okay, let's do it.
I'll drink one beer.
Because we can't leave until the nuggets are done and the beers are done.
Wait, you guys are drinking our beers?
You're going to drink 12?
You're going to throw a couple like...
I'll help out the team.
That's some real beers.
Did you say juice sweat?
Juice sweat. Sandy Kou juice sweat? Juice sweat.
Sandy Koufax after a game.
Julian Edelman.
Is he?
Yeah.
I'll be.
You don't think he could be?
Geared.
All right, ready?
TJ's just fucking hammering those bananas.
Where did the Jewish Kyle cutout go?
Oh, fuck.
I think Deirdre left.
I'm so mad I missed that.
That was good.
It'll keep saying.
All right, first to four has to get wet.
Can you hand me some extra chicken nuggets, please?
Yeah, first to four has to get wet, correct? Let me some extra chicken nuggets, please? Yeah, first to four has to get wet, correct?
Let me get the music.
Is it wet here or wet outside?
Wet outside.
Shit, okay.
You have to find a way to get wet.
It's really cold outside.
I'm looking with the wet ass purse.
Who wants this?
I'll take one.
Brandon, where are you at?
He's slowing down.
Two away from 30. That's not bad. What kind of tool do you at? He's slowing down. Two away from 30.
That's not bad.
What kind of tool do you need?
What's that?
What kind of tool do you need to open up a fire hydrant?
Bobby pin.
Something.
You can just unscrew it.
Fireman.
That would be very funny, though.
You should just pop open one right outside.
You should just have Spider pop open one right outside. That would be awesome.
You should just have Spider pull up your car and you can just run over.
Do we want our name?
We don't want our name.
Four means you have to get wet.
What do you mean do you want your name?
It's so weird that you want to piss your pants.
I think we should just all piss our pants.
Let's all do it. First one to four gets wet.
I think Steven should have to just go get wet now.
Because he clearly doesn't want to.
The wheel is just.
Wheel is just.
1-1.
Wheel is just.
What's this for?
Who has to go get wet outside the office.
And then the person who has three has to piss their pants for the rest of the show.
Not just one, Steven.
There's not too many wet options in this city.
We're not next to any pond.
There's a huge river right over there.
That's pretty far.
What's the score?
2-2?
We're a twist offside, so they'll do it.
He's away from it.
Three. Three.
So, I'm weirded out that Steven wants to piss his pants.
Three, three.
Three, three.
Owen, verify my count.
Three, three.
I wouldn't say one.
Zero.
Mike, you got to fix your mic.
That was 30.
You're doing well.
I'm taking 20 out and putting it in there.
There's a lot of life in your eyes.
Duels have 1.1 grams of protein.
Ooh.
I don't know what's wrong with that mic.
Got to get a new one.
It's the wire.
We got to fix it. Actually, I just took 10 out.
Should I tell Pete?
Pete's a fucking asshole.
Yeah. Can you hear me now?
Yes
I've taken 10 out of the 30 box
I wouldn't say one of it's my pants but
Finding a place to get wet seems extremely inconvenient
I mean it's not that hard
You could easily do it in two seconds
There's an FIT dorm
About 300 feet
I'm not gonna say it
I don't want Steven, I'm not going to say it. I know.
I don't want Steven to.
I have an idea.
What?
You know, I got a pizza.
Okay.
Where are we at?
Three to three. All right.
All right, I'm going to get wet.
And you have to piss your pants for the rest of the show.
If I can't stop pissing your pants.
All right, I have one idea that if it works, it would be very funny.
The other one's not going to be funny. Does he even have to do the draft video?
Yeah, he has to do the draft where he pisses on the play.
Oh, yeah.
You can crew diss, too.
All right, Steven, every time you've got to piss,
you've got to come out here and we've got to watch you piss.
Who has to crew diss?
I want Steve to crew diss so bad.
I'll crew diss when I go out.
I'll do a double for the people.
All you have to do is point and say, weak-ass crew.
Yep, I got you.
That's easy. You've got to take in the crew first. You you have to do is point and say weak-ass crew. Yep, I got you. That's easy.
Like, you got to take in the crew first.
You got to be like.
Look them all up and down.
Like, maybe stop them and then look and be like weak-ass crew.
No, it's always in passing.
Like, you don't care that much about them.
You just want to let them know.
Yeah, they're taking up no real estate.
More of a scoff.
Weak-ass crew.
I wish I had some cash on me because this might mean I might need it.
I have $5.
You should bring some money.
We need Stanko back.
He's going to have to come with me.
Unfortunately, getting wet comes with a price.
No, Nick almost just threw up.
Are you still doing Nick juice?
I'm almost done with my second cup of Nick juice.
Nick almost just threw up.
He just burped and it was almost all throw up.
I have no duel.
Do you breathe?
Do you...
I breathe.
When you take a shot, do you inhale or exhale?
What's the one that gets rid of...
I clog.
You clog?
My breath.
I think you're only supposed to breathe through your mouth.
And then I bite a paper towel or napkin.
It helps.
It does help.
It stops from throwing up.
Also, if you hum, you can't gag. It's not possible.
Oh, man. This is going to suck.
I'm going to have to get wet outside.
That will suck.
Anybody want some of this?
I could use some of that. I used to hum all the time
and I just don't anymore. I don't want to get
my shoes wet, so I'm just going to have to go
socks. That's what I did.
That's what you did? I guess I'm going to have to go socks. That's what I did. That's what you did?
I guess I'm going to have to walk outside with socks. You could carry your shoes and then take them off.
Like, wear your shoes, take them off.
Wear them, and then, yeah.
Grab some, uh...
You're already going to look weird with your socks or something like that.
Some backup shoes at your desk?
Yeah, maybe.
Or some chicken fry slides.
There's stuff around.
Oh, fuck.
I think there's some foreplay loafers somewhere.
I'm going to go look for some shoes.
If what I want to do is open and working, it will be very funny.
I hope it is forever.
Brandon, how many?
I may have a backup if the person I think works where he works.
You have a weapon?
I know some of the
Molly Wee employees. I know they have
the hoes.
What is Molly Wee? The Irish bar.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is
a shithole. Nah.
It's my one of my favorites.
Alright, guys. Big cat.
Karaoke. Get the vibes right.
Your duels are better than the zips. One headlight.
Yeah, one headlight.
One headlight.
Yeah, if we're playing the classics,
that was an Owen Roeder coming out party.
One of them.
Yeah, like the cool coming out.
The other one's not at all.
That's that here.
Freaking hogging all the salts.
I got stuck in my elevator for 20 minutes today.
It was the most scared I've ever been.
Oh, yeah.
Got to acknowledge that text.
What time?
On my way here.
I was going to pick up laundry, then I came back, so it was like 9.46.
Damn.
Yeah.
Stuck.
20 minutes in there feels like probably two hours, too.
I thought I would stay cool, and I thought I was staying cool. Two minutes passed. I was in there feels like probably two hours, too. I was complete,
I thought I would stay cool,
and I thought I was staying cool.
Two minutes passed,
I was complete panic.
I called my mom.
You were alone?
Yeah.
I called my mom.
How did you get out?
Wait, were you saying goodbye?
No, I was just like,
what do I do?
And she was like,
hit the call button,
nobody was picking up.
And so then,
eventually,
after 20 minutes, somebody else, on the fifth floor, called an elevator, and I went up after 20 minutes somebody else like on like the
fifth floor called an elevator and i went up to the fifth floor i was like don't get on there brother
and um we both just took the stairs down and i told the doorman i was like i've been stuck on
that for like 20 minutes and he was like oh word that was it i know i'm getting fucking stuck when
i go back fuck well did you see the video of, like, three years ago, someone, like, died in a Manhattan elevator?
They just got stuck in the fucking...
In the...
Yeah, there's a video.
There's footage of it.
I accidentally watched it.
My, uh...
No, I didn't, but I thought I was...
I was...
My elevator hit, like, the lobby level so hard, my, like, AirPod fell out.
My Air...
What?
Wait, I was lying. My Air AirPod fell out. What? I was lying.
My AirPod Pro fell out.
Nice.
Stanky, are you trying to talk right now?
Trying to test the mic.
We're fixing Steven's mic.
Fasuli's got the resume to go with you.
Oh, okay.
All right.
I'll see you guys.
All right.
Good luck.
Good luck to the boss.
Everybody follow Nick Fasuli.
Good guy.
Yeah, he is.
I'll never say it to his face.
Never.
I only talk shit about him, but he is a good guy.
I like him.
No.
I get to pee.
Someone has to go with Brandon to make sure he doesn't spit anything out.
Go with him.
I'll go with him.
No, no, no.
We'll get it.
Look.
Go right now. He's not going to the bathroom? Yeah, he will stand behind you. Go with him. I'll go with him. We'll get it. Look. Go right now. He's not going to the bathroom?
He will stand behind you. Go ahead.
So why don't you
kill me? Cat, when you go out and get wet,
you should also moon somebody.
Yeah.
Big white butt.
You should go see
Liver King. I gotta do a disc
crew.
If somebody recognizes you, and I love like big cat questionably.
They're like, big cat?
You have to moon them.
Like, yup, and then you moon them.
Anybody want to sip a Nick juice?
No, I physically cannot.
EJ?
We're getting more people watching, so we're gaining back the audience.
I'm fucked up off these O'Douls. EJ? We're getting more people watching, so we're gaining back the audience.
I'm fucked up off these O'Douls.
I could tell.
When you get drunk, you get horny.
Yeah.
I'm so horny.
I was at a party with Sass, and he was across the room, and he was so fucked up.
And he just texted me and said, Sass, you must fuck.
I was like, what the fuck?
And then he was left with a girl. we've done this to me a couple times what
always the same
sassy must fuck
it's separated with periods so it's three different
sassy must fuck
every time well it's been three times
yeah it was three times
that ain't true
find me a hole it's a felony
yeah
so fucking relaxed That ain't true. Find me a hole. It's a felony. Yeah. Yeah.
Fasol, fucking relax.
Brandon, are you humping it?
Like, how close are you?
I'm hiding my dick.
Why?
Fasol, I would try to get that.
Yeah, it's small enough. Brandon always brags about how loud his stream is.
That's just because his dick is so far away from the water.
That's what he doesn't get.
I really hope what I
want to do will work.
Give us a hint.
No.
Oh, jeez.
He didn't wash his hands.
I've actually seen Brandon pissing.
He doesn't touch his dick when he piss.
He just pulls up his pubes. He pulls his pubes
and that's what he does. He looks like a marionette.
He looks like a marionette puppeteer
for a naked moron.
Does KFC just walk away with my Jordans?
It looked like it.
Those were your shoes.
What are you doing?
What the fuck is he doing? What are you doing?
Kevin just took Kyle's shoes.
Look at that.
Do we have that on a video?
What was that?
He picked them up and then walked away with them.
He just stole your shoes.
Kevin Klinecy?
Yeah.
He looked us dead in the eye.
He picked them up and walked away.
Big Cat, throw me a nug.
Power move. You're a real shame if I hugged him. Can you pick up that one?
Yeah. Come on.
What the hell was that?
Nice catch. Thanks.
Oh, yo, there they are. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He was probably putting them For kicks in the office
We're doing one headlight
That's Reggie's job
Don't throw them
One headlight before I go
Yeah
Where is Reggie
I haven't seen him in a minute
Talk while you're eating
You know
I don't know
He was
He got in some shit
He got fucking fired dude
He was doing well
Like he killed his job
He just like Stole a bunch of money From him Including Owen Yeah He got in some shit. He got fucking fired, dude. He was doing well. He killed his job.
He just stole a bunch of money from him.
Including Owen.
Yeah.
$2,300.
All right, here we go.
What is up?
Why is it peaking?
What's that sound?
P of D, no thank you.
Pause.
Fire in the headlight.
Everyone retweet what Steven just sent us.
So long ago, I don't remember.
You get it on tune?
I was the only one singing.
They said she died easy of a broken heart disease as I listened through the cemetery trees.
Why is it just me and you?
I don't know.
Everyone else sings hard.
It's more of a listen song.
The chorus will be.
You go, Brandon, then I'll go, then we'll do the chorus together.
I seen the sun coming up at the funeral at dawn of long broken arm of human law.
Yikes.
All right, my turn.
Yeah.
Now it always seems such a way she's always had a pretty face.
I wonder why she hung around this place.
You're doing Eddie Vedder.
Musical break.
Musical break.
What's wrong with doing Eddie Vedder?
I want you to do a Chris Cornell right now.
You guys forget Nick doesn't sing.
Hey!
I'm going to try a little.
Nothing is forever.
It's got to be something better than in the middle.
Me and Cinderella.
Put it all together. we can drive it home.
On headlights.
Why the fuck aren't you motherfuckers singing?
Singing.
I thought it was only you guys.
No, it was all of us.
Oh, I was mouth.
You said it's cold.
It feels like Independence Day.
Yeah, rude boy.
I can't break away from this parade.
Rudy just comes in and adapts.
There's got to be an opening somewhere here in front of me
through this maze of ugliness and greed.
I didn't know the words.
I'm on Rudy.
I've seen a sign up ahead at the County Line Bridge.
Man, all is good and nothingness is dead dead we'll run until she's out of breath
she ran until there's nothing left she hit the end it's just her window ledge this music sounds
pretty okay yeah audio is feeling this hey oh shit Hey. Hey. Oh, shit. Hey. Hey. Come on, try a little.
Nothing is forever.
It's got to be something better than in the middle.
Me and Cinderella, we put it all together.
We can drive it home.
Nick is fucking lying.
One headlight.
Way to go, Rudy.
Bring in the noise.
All right.
It's black.
He measures and we're getting right back into it.
Have you drank that whole cup?
Nicky.
This is my second cup.
Oh, my God.
What are you drinking?
Jig juice.
Jig juice?
Straight vodka.
Yeah?
Some grandpa's old cough medicine?
Well, this place is old.
It feels just like a beat-up truck.
Turn this.
That was like mincey.
All right, I'm going.
Ready for stoolie?
Are you going to piss?
I'm going to do one more chorus.
One more chorus.
Don't piss without me, Steven.
Don't piss until I'm back.
And I ain't changed, but I know
But I know
But somewhere here in between the seedy walls
Those dying dreams I think are dead
Must be killing me
Is this really what the beat of this song sounds like?
No, I don't think so
Come on, try a little.
Nothing is forever.
Well, nothing is forever.
It's got to be something better than in the middle.
Well, me and Cinderella can put it all together.
We can drive it home with one headlight.
How many headlights? One. Oh, with one headlight. How many headlights?
Just one, brother.
Just one headlight.
Sound choice.
I'm not pro-choice.
Sound choice, baby.
I'll sing me a song
and abort your...
I'm on Cinderella.
Do it right now.
I'm not ready financially or maturely
to have a child.
What we're going to do is
I'm going to take you there to the clinic.
Yeah, go on.
A sound choice is when they let the men make it, right?
That's right.
You're going to take us to the clinic and then what?
And you're going to get it?
I'm going to be with you for a week, then I'm going to dump you.
Who's gotten wet so far?
Owen, did you get wet?
Adjacent.
It was just a splash. I poured juice on KB.
Juice is wild?
Yeah.
Something about Ebony closing that door rubbed me the wrong way.
It pissed me off.
It's Friday.
This is our time. You're not
doing anything. You want me to open the door, man?
You want to get her in here?
You want to air some grievances?
I would love if KB sat up and his shirt
was just rock hard.
It is kind of fucked up to be in the middle of a
jam session and someone walks in.
What did we distract you from?
Moonum.
Did somebody just say Big Cat? You got to show your butt?
You got to show your big juicy butt? Is that his challenge?
He has to show his ass?
It's a rule. If somebody's like big cat,
he has to show his butt.
His big wet butt.
Really, I'll be crude. This is...
You hear what they said?
Someone says, hi, big cat, you have to show your butt.
He's giggly ass. He sounds like a brazzers.
No, no, no.
You were about to say it.
You had it right.
You had the perfect prefix.
I had that.
Reality King's cameraman.
He sounds like a porn cameraman.
Can't believe I fucked that up.
That was going to be a zinger.
What do we think he's doing? I have no idea I fucked that up. That was going to be a zinger. What do we think he's going?
I have no idea what his plan is.
I would go to the gym locker room.
Shower down.
I think I'd go to a bar.
I'd go to a Pret-a-Manger and just bathe in the sink.
Pret-a-Manger.
That's good.
Bart's there.
Or a LaPont-Colton-Yen.
How'd he stop walking?
Yeah, why did he stop?
Right, I guess he can't decide where to go.
What the fuck is he doing?
Keep walking, big cat.
I've always wanted that.
You smile really hard, but don't show your two front teeth.
You're exactly him right now.
One of the most
fastooling things ever when we went to
Let them know in case it gets wet.
We went to Vegas and we get off the plane
in the Vegas airport and he grabs
me as we're getting literally into the
concourse and he goes, man
this is so awesome.
I go, what?
He goes, this airport.
I was like, what do you mean? He goes, I've never been to Vegas.
He goes, there's slot machines everywhere.
We were at the airport when Dave was delivering his speech
defending his rape accusations,
and we looked over and Fasoli was buying a Viva sweatshirt
from the Barstool store.
Wasn't he buying a fuck ton of Team Portnoy merch?
Yeah, it was Team Portnoy.
That's what it was.
That's awesome.
There's no one like him.
He's the best.
I met Fasoli.
Oh, no.
Is he already wet?
Wait, what happened?
15 seconds into meeting Fasoli, he's paying him to hose him.
He stepped on a fish hook in his Air Maxes and he was squeaking the entire time we were hanging out.
Squeaking?
His Air Maxes popped.
They flattened?
He was walking with a limp.
It was the funniest thing.
Is that a half lit cigarette?
Is that a half?
Let's see what he's up to.
What is he smoking?
He's got a cigarette.
It's PCP.
That is PCP.
I did PCP the other day.
Really?
Yeah.
How was it?
Was it tight?
Oh, they're hosing him!
Oh, my God!
They're hosing him!
What a legend!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
He's doing it!
How did he know this is exactly where he wants to go?
He's been in the content game for a long time.
Oh, what a brilliant man.
Oh, my God.
Get his face.
Get his hair.
Oh, no.
Holy shit.
He's soaking.
Run, run, run, run.
Oh, my God.
He just runs away from him.
Thank you. Thank you. Oh, it's got to be so cool. He just runs away from him.
Oh, it's got to be so cold.
He paid that guy $5,000.
Oh, yeah, you know he paid him like an insane amount of money.
No, he's giving sports cash.
He can't really use it.
It's 24 degrees in New York City today.
Fall back.
You didn't want part of it back ten minutes ago.
Fall back.
What was that about?
Fuck out of here.
You!
Fall back.
Hell, are you screaming to the... To an audience of no one.
No one can hear you
through that glass.
Ebony, come in.
Come in.
I have something to say to Ebony.
Yeah.
Yeah, my dick is the smallest it's ever been right now too
We're going to be arguing about the door
And then she's going to want to talk about her pussy
No no no
Everybody bring up that you've noticed her ass getting smaller
She's had the flu
And it just went straight to her ass
Oh he's hauling ass
Oh he's back
Come on get inside
Wow that was a brilliant move He knew get inside.
Wow.
That was a brilliant move. He knew.
200 IQ.
Mensa.
Kanye.
He's in Louisiana.
Can you pants him?
Oh.
Oh, that's weird.
Is he on the elevator with somebody?
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
He's with a couple people.
Fully be the creep you are and film her.
Yep.
Let's get a whole view.
They can hear through the phone.
Pretend to drop your phone.
There you go.
Huh.
Yeah. Yeah.
Legend.
Somebody throw him a towel.
He does not look happy.
Wait, somebody do the magician pulling this towel.
Yes.
That was perfectly executed.
No, no, Big Cat, be a magician.
Pull the towel from under the beers.
No, no, no.
One, two, three.
You almost had it. You almost had it.
You almost had it.
Yeah.
Yes.
Why listen to the drunk guy?
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
Sit.
Host.
Host.
Oh, you're good.
Not my O'Doul's.
Not my precious O'Doul's.
Stanko knows he's going to have to clean that shit up.
Somebody has.
Somebody has to.
That was a really smart move.
Yeah, how'd you know to do that?
Experienced wetman was hoping a lot more of those broke.
Not only did they break, they were in tiny little shits.
Yeah, they're going to be dangerous for a while.
Get a vacuum.
Honestly, just put the towel over it.
Oh, my God.
Oh, man.
Okay.
Those pants are fucking soaked.
Yeah, but the bird dogs, it's amazing how well the moisture wicks.
It's so cold outside.
It's freezing.
Didn't it look cool?
Yeah, it looked great.
What did you say to that guy? I gave him $100.
Wait, so you went up and you said what?
I walked in and I said, hey, if I give you $100, will you spray me with your hose?
And then he's like, what?
And I was like, here's $100.
And he's like, okay.
That's awesome.
What a lucky guy.
Incredible.
Incredible.
Incredible.
I said that was exactly what I thought of when I was like, oh, I got to go get wet somewhere else.
I would have never thought of that.
I walk by there all the time and they're always spraying the sidewalk.
They won't stop.
Oh, man, I need that clip.
It's so cold outside.
It was very funny.
He was like, he thought, and then you see him, he wanted me to spray myself.
I was like, no, no, no.
You had to run away from him.
He was still giving you.
Dude, he kept on going.
The other guy in the shop was like, keep going, keep going.
Fuck, man, I'm so cold.
That's awesome.
It is very cold today.
Yeah, it's like 25 degrees.
It's fucking freezing.
Oh, man.
I might have like-
You see those cops though?
That was cool.
You sprint back?
You almost got hit by a van too.
That's not that close.
That guy can probably take his fiance out to dinner tonight.
Yeah.
He has to explain to her how he got that $100.
Dudes like that are always engaged.
Permanently engaged.
Never married.
Why did I do that with that?
Why did I do that?
Shouldn't have listened to the drunk guy.
Sorry, Stanko.
I forgot Nick is blacked out.
When he said that, I was like,
oh, Nick wouldn't drink.
He's not blacked out yet.
Blackout's loading. Wait, was the Zoom frozen? When he said that, I was like, oh, Nick wouldn't show me. He's not blacked out yet. Not yet. He's still got juice to fit.
Blackout's loading.
Wait, was the Zoom frozen for the?
No.
Luckily.
How you doing, Brandon?
I think this is.
It's a great show.
It's a great show, and we're.
I think Rudy has to do something now. Rudy does.
Yeah, he does.
I'm down.
I'm down after that.
What should Rudy have to do?
I feel inspired now. Oh, look at that. All four bananas something. Rudy does. Yeah, he does. Shit, I'm down. After that, I feel... What should Rudy have to do? I feel inspired now.
Oh, look at that.
All four bananas gone.
What does that mean?
Dude, that kind of looks gross.
Yeah, it does look gross.
Ew.
You should eat one peel.
No more.
You all right, Brandon?
I'm good.
You sure?
I'm good.
Brandon, you want to swap?
I'll polish off your...
Steven, have you pissed yet?
...nuggets and you can polish off my O'Doul's? I would vomit within seconds. Rudy, you want to swap? I'll polish off your nuggets and you can polish off my O'Douls.
I would vomit within seconds.
Rudy, you have to go get a tattoo.
Hey, Nick said that.
It's so true.
You have to go.
Rudy, you have to start pounding these high balls.
Nick, tell him what he has to do.
He has to do more than one thing, though.
He has to go get a tattoo.
It has to be times I've been on the yak with a tally mark.
It'll be at, what, five?
Yeah.
Then you just have to go get another tally every time you're on.
You feel like, did you go to prison, bro?
I was like, nah, dude, radio.
You've been doing well, so you have a lot of appointments.
So your appearances have been really good, so you're just going to be filled up with tallies.
Where would I get a tattoo close to here?
Find the worst rate at one.
Start drinking some of these. Wait a minute. Let's find the worst rate at one start drinking some of these wait a minute let's
start drinking some of these with them do you think we'll tap them in you guys all have to
drink like eight you keep drinking keep drinking i am drinking i want rudy to go try and buy heroin
in times square no rudy's gonna help finish heineken's ships. Or he could do that, yeah.
I want him to race somebody.
Two people trying to get heroin first.
Oh, my.
I will be. I'll tell you what.
I love bird dogs.
Bird dogs are my favorite, but they hold the water.
They do.
That's what's so good about them.
My pants are like, there's like a lake in my pants.
Bird dogs didn't expect people to do what you did.
Bird dog's great.
I'm wearing bird dogs right now for the piss.
Oh, it will hold it.
But is it going to show?
Because it's like they have the underwear.
No, but we'll see it coming out of your legs.
Okay.
Does anybody have the tan bird dogs?
I'm wearing the black ones.
Wearing the black?
I have the tan at home.
I wear them, and it's...
That's not what he asked.
It's the best.
If bird dogs is looking to sponsor any podcasts,
I know a podcast that has none right now
They actually have zero
We went into the beginning of the year having like six sponsors an episode
And now we're like capping out at one episode
Rather one would be infinite more than we have right now
Roan should have to get hit by a car
Yes
I want Roan to steal something more than $300.
He's probably already
done that today.
He actually has.
He woke up and did that.
I know for a fact.
Roan, I've never
met someone who you would instantly
know they shoplift
all the time. Let's do Rudy's spy cam.
He has to go to the bar across the street when they ask for
Vax and ID. His Vax
is the Vax card and his ID is the
Magnum Con.
That's perfect.
He has to do the whole street of bars.
Better pound that zero.
You gotta get your nerve.
Rudy can go do a crew diss.
I didn't see a crew.
Rudy dissing my crew would destroy me. Yeah, Rudy, go do a crew diss. Oh, cool. I didn't see a crew. Rudy dissing my crew would destroy me.
Yeah, Rudy, go do a crew diss.
I can crew diss somebody.
You have the Magnum Vax card ID.
Magnum Vax card.
Let me try one of these.
But what if he walks in somewhere like, oh, shit, you're Rudy?
Yeah, they're watching the-
From five-time Yak fame?
Haven't I seen you on the Yak?
I only watched the episode. Less than a half dozen times. Show me your tail. I only watched the episode. More you on the Yak less than a half dozen times?
Show me your tail.
More than once,
but less than a half dozen?
The smelling salts are hitting today.
They are hitting.
Oh, yeah, these are gross.
Jeff D. Lowe texted us.
He's in Texas right now.
He's watching the Yak,
and he said he would pay $10
to hear KB Solo's
Same Love by Macklemore.
Ooh, let's go.
Yeah, we take requests.
And I can't change.
Even if I...
Steven, are you going to piss?
Sass, did you move your train?
Yeah.
10X cares about the show.
I'm working on it.
He's here forever.
Wait, are you actually saying the weekend?
Nick is so drunk.
I'm probably going to go home tonight.
You can see his eyes.
His eyes are drunk.
Yeah, he is.
Nick, you look so fucked up.
No, it's not straight vodka.
It seemed a little tainted with something.
You got left, Brandon.
What?
No, are you good?
Yeah.
Ain't no way.
Your drunk voice is just.8x speed of your normal voice.
Yeah.
I'm a 37.
Rules.
It's sensual.
I just slow it down. Y'all didn't put more in here when I left, did you. Yeah. I'm a 36. It's sensual. I just slow it down.
Y'all didn't put more in here when I left, did you?
No.
That would have been funny if we did.
We should have done that.
What?
Hands is faded.
Wait, Nick, you go flash
the condom ID
They won't buy that
I carry myself like a small dick man
I'd also be like
Sir you can't come in this bar
You're already drunk
Cut you off before you go in
Then you just have to say
I'll tip you righteous
Get another cigarette
I'll tip you righteous
That was the funniest thing ever
I'll make you an oil
What do you say?
Oil
Atari oil
Like a toy
Atari oil
An Atari oil
Atari
Just one
Just one more Moscow mule
I'll tip you righteous
Get one of those Dan
My friend
Get me fucked up
That's your job
Can we pull up that video? Please I would love to watch that again Righteous. Get one of those, Dan? My friend, get me fucked up. That's your job.
Can we pull up that video?
Please.
I would love to watch that again.
It'd be righteous, bro.
Steven, piss.
I still talk to them.
How do you not know?
How can't you just piss?
I'm trying to.
Just finished the water.
I could piss right now.
Does anyone have the tan bird dogs or no?
No.
Nick does at home. You don't have to wear bird dogs. You want me to give them? Well, no. I'm wearing bird dogs right now Does anyone have The tan bird dogs Or no No Nick does at home You don't have to wear bird dogs
You want me to
Well no I'm wearing bird dogs
Right now with the black ones
Why do we have to have
Are we sponsored by
Tan bird dogs
It would look better
For the piss
Why would you want to piss
On our sponsor
We should get tan lulus
Who pissed on us
There's an interview right now
Wait who's that
That's Nick Fasoli
Oh who interviewed him
Why are you
Who's that Some random dude Why'd you spray him He said you want to that? That's Nick Fasoli. Oh, who interviewed him? Who is that?
Some random dude.
Why'd you spray him?
He said he wanted a shower.
That's me.
Yo!
You just sprayed him?
I mean, who is that guy?
This guy was around us while you were getting sprayed.
That's amazing.
Oh, that's awesome.
He said he wanted a shower.
Can we hear that one more time?
Unreal. Play that again. Play that again, please. Oh, that's fucking awesome. Holy shit. That's amazing! That's awesome! He said he wanted to shower! Can we hear that one more time? Unreal!
Play that again.
Play that again please.
That is so fucking awesome.
Holy shit.
Why'd you spray him?
You said you wanted to shower.
That's me.
You have no idea why?
Who is it?
Did you spray him for nothing?
He wants to spray you.
Why'd you get him on the TV show?
Oh, you're on the TV show.
Oh, TV show.
Yeah, he's right.
He's right.
He's right.
He's right.
He's right.
He's right. He's right. He's right. He's right. He's right. Who was it? He was afraid about the kids on the TV show.
Oh, you're a TV show.
Oh, a TV show.
Yeah, he's right.
Oh, man.
We are a TV show.
That was awesome.
What are the odds?
He said he wants a shower.
He said he wants a shower.
No, we can't do that.
All right.
Too far.
This ratio is fucked right now.
It is.
Oh, no, Nicky.
Nicky, chill.
Chill.
He's right, though.
Want to get some chicks in here?
He's not wrong.
Hey, Nick.
Old school?
Don't you dare.
I see you winding back.
I see you talking.
I was going to say something else.
I bet.
Hey, catch that.
Oh, shit.
Oh, fuck.
Man, I wish these beers were real.
Oh, did it go out?
Yeah.
Oh, no, it didn't.
Good catch.
Thank you.
Smoking with aggression.
All right, whatever I need to do.
Steven's ready.
Yeah, let's have Rudy.
I think he's got a disc crew.
Rudy's got a... I want him to splash the condoms as an ID
I gotta finish stool scenes
So I should do whatever I gotta do
You can go, you don't have to do anything
You don't have to do that
We'll put you on the wet wheel at the end
Okay, cool
We'll let you know
Just text me
Alright
Who can we
Gia, you want a crew disc?
Yeah, yeah
No, she said no so fast
Hard no
It was the fastest no I've ever heard
Nick I think it's a boys Friday Alright, Steven Why would you not want a crew disc? Yeah, yeah. No, she said no so fast. Arden, that was the fastest no I've ever heard.
I think it's a boy's Friday.
All right, Steven, why would you not want to crew this?
I do it here?
No, you got to do it in the middle.
Yeah, you got to watch it. I do it in the bathroom with the Zoom camera, no?
What?
No, you're pissing your pants.
I'm going to piss on the floor?
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Stand over the towel.
Show how well the towel.
What was your plan once you pissed?
Do it right in there.
And then what?
That's it. What, you clean up and that's it? Well, it's easier.? Do it right in there. And then what? That's it.
What, you clean up and that's it?
Well, it's easier.
There's a drain in there.
No, no, no.
You piss your pants and you stand there with your pants pissed for the rest of the show.
I got to stand in the middle of the thing?
No, you just come out here, piss your pants, then go back to where you are.
I don't need a drain.
I'm just, yeah.
The pants acts as a drain
to the floor
okay
well I mean you could
we have another towel
the assholes
towels are great
if you walked in here
right now
you'd see
a red towel
from juices wild
a bunch of broken glass
and then
a piss towel
alright come on Steven
what number are you on?
This is the best day of your fucking life.
I don't know who's going to throw up first.
This is... Maybe this is what you need to quit Chick-fil-A.
I can taste everything, every oil,
every piece of the chicken.
Say it into the mic, you doofus.
No.
Shut up.
You want to announce that we're living together, Brandon?
What is this?
I don't like this.
What is he doing?
Brandon and I are splitting an apartment.
Is Dana here today?
Oh, yeah. Let's get him to drink some beers in his butt.
I feel gross.
How long are his broken glasses?
What happens to glass when you piss on it?
It's just going to smell in there forever.
How much piss are you planning on coming out of your dick?
I smell like a bachelorette party in Erie, PA.
Oh, gross.
Presque Isle.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, dude.
I know what you're talking about.
Tequila sunrise mixed with unleaded oil.
Are you serious?
The smell of yesterday's Uno pizza.
Yeah.
This is pathetic.
It's a real landlocked rum punch.
I'll have to piss now.
Pathetic.
If he can't pee, we're going to have to piss on him, right?
Yes.
Oh, yeah, yeah, let's do jellyfish sting.
Croup pass.
Sorry, Fasoli.
It's all good.
Tried.
I tried.
He does.
How many you got left?
You chicken drunk?
He's chicken drunk.
You are chicken drunk.
So it wasn't as easy.
Like, we shouldn't have made it seem that it was easy.
How hard is it?
Explain the difficulty.
When did it start hurting?
About 33.
32. When you get full,
your chewing slows down tremendously.
And you taste too much.
You taste too much. I taste the oil and I taste
everything and I don't know.
You want condiments? No.
Sauces? No.
What about a goop or a gunk?
A goop or a gunk?
You want a goop?
I think a sauce. What about a no-duel goop or a gunk? I think a sauce.
What about a no-duel to wash things down?
I for real think a sauce
would help.
That poll is wrong.
Way wrong.
I can promise you, because I've been fighting it
since
117.
One of us puked.
The other one is immediately puking right behind him.
Jeff D. Lowe just sent $20 to the YouTube chat.
He wants same love.
Just the first couple lines.
I'll do seal, kiss.
No, no, no.
He paid for same love.
He paid for same love, brother.
You work in the service industry, bitch.
God damn it.
All right.
What was that?
That wasn't me.
Deliver your product.
What?
That was my drink.
You put cigarettes out in there. How would I have done that? My cigarette is in here. Howiver your product. What? This is my drink. You put cigarettes out in there.
How would I have done that?
My cigarette is in here.
How would I have done that?
Nick doesn't even remember putting it in there.
He has my cigarette.
You want a sip?
Do you want a sip of juice?
No, I don't.
What are you doing, Steven?
I'm trying to protect it.
I'm pissing on the carpet.
Oh, my God.
You've ruined the love of this.
You've ruined it.
And he's pissing on the carpet.
You've ruined the magic of this.
The magic is gone.
Just piss.
You.
What do you mean, fuck me?
Fuck you.
You're not taking too long.
Yeah.
Wait, what color underwear are you wearing?
Bird dog. You wanted this, by the way. I'm wireless. You're on a big long. Yeah. Wait, what color underwear are you wearing? Bird dog.
You wanted this, by the way.
I'm wireless.
You're on a big dick day, too.
You wanted this.
Start peeing, Chad.
You asked for this.
We're trying to run a professional program.
All right, exactly.
You're ruining it.
Everyone upvote the show, please.
Upvote the show.
Jay, if you don't piss, you're getting fired.
I'm not being very professional right now.
Hurry up and piss your pants.
Piss them. You're not being very professional right now. Hurry up and piss your pants. Mm-hmm. Piss them.
You're ruining the show.
Can we pull up some videos of waterfalls or something to make the process better?
Would that help?
Yeah.
All right.
What about remix to ignition?
That jog your memory?
Yeah.
Let's have them piss to R. Kelly.
Is he pissing?
What the hell?
Come on.
Kyle, it's for Jeff D. Lowe.
I don't think this is at all what the intro is.
It sounds like a horror movie.
It's a non instrumental at all.
It's a non-copyright version.
It sounds like that song they play at the social network.
It does.
Maybe I don't need friends.
Oh, no.
Is Pete mad?
Pete, are you mad?
Start peeing right now.
Chase, start peeing right now.
What does it smell like?
I was in the third grade I thought that I was gay
Cause I could draw
And my uncle was
And I cut my room straight
I told my mom
Tears rushing down my face
She's like
Ben
You've loved girls since before pre-k
Tripping
Yeah I guess
She had a point
Don't she?
Such a stereotypes all in my head
I remember
Ex-puking
Going to men
Like yeah
I'm good And little league A preconce Going to men like it. I'm good.
And Little League.
A preconceived idea of what it all meant.
Where is it?
Oh, and Chase.
He's peeing.
Oh, I love.
Oh, yeah.
Steve.
Chase.
I can't change.
Ex-puking and Chase.
Even if I try.
Even if I wanted to.
Look at his left leg.
I love my love.
My love.
My love.
She keeps me warm.
She keeps me warm.
Go left knee.
Go left knee.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.. We brought back all the chaos.
As soon as Nick started puking,
I started pissing.
Yeah.
No.
You're just in your piss. When you gotta piss the next time, you'll piss
the next time.
Stoli cam.
That was a chaotic 20 seconds.
I know.
That was a lot.
It was like Steven started pissing, and I was chasing, trying to find where Nick was.
Then Stooley just wrapped around the corner.
What was that?
What just happened?
That cut was perfect.
We're doing it.
We're recovering.
Look at this little, yeah, it's like we had a little chihuahua that turned into this fucking mat.
Oh, Big T's like.
Oh, Big T's pissed. Big T is perpetually pissed.
He's got resting pissed face.
Did he piss himself?
Yeah.
Yeah.
How many more you got?
It was a chaotic 30 seconds.
I think when Brandon's done with the chicken nuggets, we will do the wet wheel and that
will be the show.
What's up, Hank? Yeah, we will do the wet wheel and that will be the show. What's up, Hank?
We're told not to anymore. We smoked
a lot of cigarettes. Did we get the building?
Did you see me go out and get wet wheeled out in person?
No. That was sick.
Steven just pissed his pants.
Oh, Drake? Steven just pissed his
pants. I'm so sticky
and I can't change.
You gotta go outside though.
Wait, did I miss that?
Yeah. Asian pee.
Dude, it was chaos. Wait, do you want a lighter?
Close the door. Close the door. Close the door.
Wait, did we get a building complaint that smells like cigarettes?
Down in the city of love.
Don't look at him.
Don't look at him. He won't think it's us.
What's the building got right there?
Oh no. Really? Oh no, it's us. What's the building got right there? Oh, no.
Oh, really?
Oh, no.
It's probably about the woman who complained we were soaked in orange juice.
Enrique just had to pay him off.
Oh, could be.
Wait, let's get Enrique in here.
Enrique gave him a blowjob.
God damn it, your voice.
Did you hear the cops when I went out?
Mm-hmm.
Some things are bigger than sports.
We're still riders.
Oh, no way they said that?
On the loudspeaker.
Jesus.
They said it on the, on like a...
Oh, my God.
That's hilarious.
Yeah.
Very funny.
People say all cops are bastards.
Not those guys.
Those guys are riders.
Those guys are riders.
Facts.
Heroes. Enrique. Yeah, we probably smoked guys are riders. Those guys are riders. Facts. Heroes.
Enrique.
Yeah, we probably smoked too many cigarettes.
We're done with that.
I was just, I'm jonesing for one, though.
Oh, yeah.
Let Nick go.
There's also probably a little bit of common courtesy that when we smoke a whole pack inside
it, the whole office smells like it.
Yeah, but lowering the bar does.
I'm like Shark all week.
Lowering the bar.
Yeah, but the chat was spamming with L's. Yeah, but lowering the bar does. I'm like Shark all week. Lowering the bar. Yeah, but the chat was spamming us with L's.
Yeah, that's true.
Anyone who says anything, complains about this show in the office is like, dude, you don't understand.
The chat was spamming us with L's.
L's?
Have you ever been L'd?
Showered with L's?
There's a lot of people here.
Bombarded with L's.
No one comes in on Fridays, huh?
They won't come in on Thursdays either.
It's crazy.
Also, this week people didn't come in on Tuesdays or Wednesday either.
Why?
What's up with that?
Hey.
What's the point?
It's an off week.
But we're sleepy.
It's an off week.
You could fly under the radar if you do nothing, and then you won't get in trouble.
Yep.
Axe.
I'll let him know.
That's what I want to start doing. That's what I'm going to start doing.
W!
Let's go!
Fuck yes!
Look at this!
More Ws!
This puts a tear to my eye.
We're back, boys!
Give me more.
God damn.
And season eight starts Monday.
It's like when Burr makes a whole fucking arena hate him and then love him.
Yeah, we're back.
We're fucking
Toyed with this chat like puppets
We just had to do some fucked up shit to ourselves
And you have to finish these nuggets
Let's watch the fuck up
Let's watch the fuck up
I haven't stopped
Wait, yeah, Nick, what?
No, no, no
Finish that one
What's that, Nick?
I don't even know where that's at
I kind of want to watch that
Sass, chug one of these
One of these? Yeah I think Owen and S want to watch that. Sass, chug one of these.
One of these?
Yeah.
You want to race?
I think Owen and Sass are having a good day.
Yeah, chug one.
What do you guys chug one?
Can I chug this or do you want me to do a fresh one?
Do a freshie.
Do the thing where you do the... Yeah.
That thing.
I tried to do that earlier.
Careful of the glass.
Careful of the glass Careful of the glass We need to have like a
We need to make a new
Yak studio
That's like in just
An entire room
That's covered in
Tarps
I wanted to have a trampoline
Upstairs
Yeah
There's a big empty room upstairs
That's begging to be a yak studio
And it's just tarps
Separated from everything
But we gotta be in the mix.
Yeah, you gotta be in the mix.
Yeah, we need the glass.
We would've never saw the detective Uber Eats man.
Yeah, but we could summon people back there.
This room has the Seinfeld effect?
Detective Uber Eats guy.
It was so crazy.
This room has a what?
Seinfeld effect.
What do you mean?
It's a sitcom theory about having a door
so anybody can walk in at any time.
Oh, yeah.
You weren't here for the detective Uber Eats guy.
Right.
Are you guys ready? Wait, should we do all of us go?
What are we doing? What is it?
TJ, I like what you were saying about how this shows the next
Seinfeld. Yeah.
Yeah, one of us is Kramer, though.
It's Brandon.
Clarely Nick.
I hope Nick has to get
wet at the end of this.
A drunk, wet Nick.
All right.
Have you guys ever seen me drunk and wet?
No.
I've seen you wet, and I've seen you drunk.
I've got to figure out what pitch.
I don't know.
I'm going to be standing, I think.
I'm going to stand, too.
All right.
Stand next to each other.
This is going to be so exciting.
Come on, Brandon.
You are the key to the end of this show, Brandon.
What are you on?
Can somebody pull up the calories Brandon's about to have? You are the key to the end of the show. The. What are you on? Can somebody pull up the calories Brandon's about to have?
You are the key to the end of the show. The show
doesn't end until Brandon is done.
Oh, home stretch.
Are you ready?
Stand next to each other.
They tell us to stop smoking.
What was that about?
Um, some
pipe work has to be done.
Oh, pipe work. What do you got?
I'm going to come to you for the pipe work.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, we're going to clean everything up.
Don't worry.
Everything.
Everything.
My word.
Enrique.
Nick's drunk.
Never mind.
He's very drunk.
No, he's very drunk.
That means he'll probably be disappearing without saying goodbye soon.
Oh!
Wow.
That means he'll be disappearing without saying goodbye soon.
Nick never says goodbye.
So Enrique admitted that.
Just leave in the morning without saying anything?
Yeah.
All right, here we go.
Where are you guys doing it?
Just do it right next to each other so it's both on the screen.
What are they doing?
They're just chugging a beer.
Go.
Ready?
Go.
Holy shit.
Oh, no.
Oh.
Uh-oh. Yeah, you're racing. Loser has to chug another one. Yeah, loser has to. Holy shit. Oh, no. Oh. Oh, no.
Yeah, you're racing.
Loser has to chug another one.
Yeah, loser has to chug another one.
Because we're not going to finish all the beers.
Looks like you have a little sip out of yours.
Loser has to chug another one.
All right?
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Take a little sip out of yours. Take a little sip out of yours.
Oh.
I'll give you the lead.
All right, ready?
I'll give you the lead. Loser has to chug another one. All right, ready? Loser has to chug another one.
Ready?
Careful of the glass, Owen.
Yeah, three, two, one.
Looks like Owen's going to win easily.
Oh, this is a rout.
Oh, man.
Sash, you got to chug another one.
God damn, Owen.
Yep, I can.
For all those
motherfuckers at home
that didn't think
Owen had a problem.
He did.
Oh, man.
You still got some
work to do in here.
That was foam.
There's always another one.
Wow.
You got to chug another one.
I'll do it.
Or you can, I don't know, do anything.
Yeah, suck one of our dicks.
That sucked.
Dude, I would love head.
By the end of season eight, somebody's going to bust on the yet.
I would love some head right now.
Head would slap right now.
Dude, it would be great to add to the show right now a little head.
I don't know how you –
One of us just sucking someone.
We should do a show.
Is head the move?
Is head a sneaky play right now?
Is head having a comeback?
Head is a sneaky play right now.
Is head having a moment in popular culture?
Is head a trend?
Head is trending right now on Twitter.
Why?
Did head die?
Nick just got eaten up.
Denzel Washington gif.
For a second there, I thought Head died.
Whatever happened to Head, man?
Yeah.
It used to be a country built on Head.
Is Head lightweight vintage?
Head is low-key a throwback.
People do it as a gift.
Graphic tees, silly bands, and head.
Y2K trends that are coming back this year.
It comes full circle.
Let's have a Beanie Babies and head party.
No, but for real.
Yeah.
I think we could just stay on this long enough
that one of us will end up giving another one a head.
Oh, no, I'm not giving it.
Oh, well, Nick will.
All the people who are like,
how do I get a job at Barstow?
How do I get a job at Barstow?
What do I do?
Head.
You can get in this building easily
and then in this room even easier.
There you go.
We'll be sitting here.
With some head.
Just make the boys' toes curl.
You think it's sloppy head?
No, dry as a bone.
The driest head possible.
I want you, yeah, when you wake up in the morning,
before you brush your teeth, you have a sip of water.
Yeah, you go to sleep with a stuffy nose, you wake up.
I would kill for some dry head.
South breathing the whole night.
Heat is on.
Yeah, dehumidifier is pumping.
He's sleeping in a cigar closet.
Some cotton mouth.
What number are you on?
I want your coffee breath to make my urethra spasm.
And you've always said that.
You've always said that, brother.
Get a little caffeine contact.
I've seen you, like, pull a girl over in a bar and whisper that in her ear.
Uh-huh.
What the fuck?
Where are you going?
I know we just met, but, like, I see everything with you and, like, I want to feel your coffee.
The thing about you is you make me laugh.
I want a tenured AP Chem teacher to breathe on my cock and make it wince to smithereens.
Yeah, wincing to smithereens is tough to do.
It is hard to wince to smithereens.
So hard.
Uh-huh.
Oh, my God.
Brennan, focus, brother.
Come on, Brennan.
What are you at? 48? No. Oh, no. 45. Brandon Focus brother Come on Brandon You want us to distract you?
48?
No
I don't know
45
45?
45
Come on Brandon
Legendary man
Like Hillary Clinton
Come on Brandon
Just like her
This is the silent part That we're going to put into the season eight.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Nicky.
Nick, don't puke.
Don't puke.
Don't puke.
Nick, I...
You'll puke?
No, Nick.
Just you.
I said I'd clean up everything in this room.
That does not include your puke.
Stop drinking for a second.
Take a beat.
You're not blacked out yet.
Take a beat.
We'll remember all of this.
You have to. We all not blacked out yet. Take a beat. We'll remember all of this. You have to.
We all just start puking.
If you puke, you have to eat the puke.
It's just the family guy.
Like, you have everybody puking on each other.
Greatest seven ever.
Brandon, I can't make that promise.
Promise me you won't puke.
I love you to death, brother, but I can't make you that promise.
We're going to need that trash can over here.
Facili, you could use this.
Don't puke.
Fasoli, just take the Magnum condom.
Yeah.
I've seen his dick.
Yeah, we all have.
Bigger than that.
He sews two Magnums together?
He has to.
The Magnum will rip when he puts it on.
He'll wear it like a choker.
No, no, no.
This is just for the miscellaneous trash.
Wake me up.
Should we play Family Feud?
Wake me up.
Yeah, let's play some Family Feud.
How about just a Nick round?
Nick does it solo.
See how far he can get.
The thing is, I'm not even buzzed yet.
It's cold in here.
Dude, how about being wet with juice
and water and pee?
You're right. I was wrong.
Brandon, how many we got left?
Four.
Four left.
Then we're going to finish with a wet wheel.
Woof.
These things are good.
We're going to carry these things around daily.
You pick up that nugget before you forget it?
They're hitting way stronger today.
Yeah.
Get in the trash can.
You got this.
You got this, Sass.
Ready?
Save me from...
Very close.
That's good.
So nice. So that chicken nugget split Very close. That's good. So nice.
So that chicken nugget split into two.
So now we have double the mess.
I'll get it.
You're good.
Nick, name a place that's filled with people who don't want to be there.
Church.
Good answer.
Good answer.
Accurate, but probably, yeah.
Work.
Good answer. Office. The but probably Yeah Work Good answer Office
The Titanic
Just him?
Yeah just him
Prison
No prison
Prison
Good answer
Um
Come on Nick
Home
We all hated this
Home yeah
Everyone hates their house
Um name
Name a place that's filled with people who don't want to be there.
Motherfucker.
The one big...
Girlfriend.
Bus.
The bus.
School.
Fucking school.
School, Nick.
Yeah, but...
Hospital.
School.
Wait, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
Don't you dare enter Fasoli.
You already have three X's. How dare you. One of those X, no, no. Don't you dare enter, Fazzoli. He already has three X's.
How dare you.
One of those X's wasn't mine.
How dare you.
What?
Hell.
Wait, school wasn't on there?
Hell?
School wasn't on there?
Told ya.
Hell was on there.
How the fuck was school not on there?
Well, hell is worse than school.
Debatable.
Name an animal that could probably beat you in a race
Cheetah
Not you, but like a person
Horse
What?
Wow
What the fuck?
A horse is like one of the faster animals
Falcon Faster animals. Falcon.
Peregrine falcon goes like 200 miles an hour.
That's true.
That's fast.
I guess just bird.
Oh, whoa.
Y'all are dumb.
You guys are dumb.
No, wait.
Greyhound.
Well, you fucked me, Fasoli.
I'll give you $1,000 if Greyhound is on the list.
It has to be Greyhound, not dog.
No, no, don't do it.
Stop it.
He spelled it wrong again.
I don't know. Jaguar, dog, don't do it. No, no, stop it. Wait, he spelled it wrong again. I don't know, like a...
Jaguar, dog, cougar.
If you typed in greyhound correctly, that would have been...
Probably not.
You're tripping.
All right.
I lost that one pretty badly.
Let's go, Nick.
All right, here we go.
Name something that's made of gold.
Jewelry. Jewelry Fistuli is not a speller
A tooth
Zah is a better speller than him
It's a
Something that's made of gold
A statue
English is
Fistuli's second language too
A trophy.
Oh, my word.
This is tough.
A medal.
M-E-D-A-L.
Come on.
I don't know what this one is.
Damn.
Earrings, necklace.
Jewelry.
That's all jewelry.
It's all jewelry.
That's annoying.
Brandon, come on.
You got this.
I'm going to make it.
It'll take a little time.
What would you do if I ripped a big fart in your face?
What are you at right now?
You're at 47.
So is this right where Frank would palm half a nugget?
The best part about that was when he did the the confession like, all right, I'm coming
clean.
It's like, well, you got caught.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I video.
All right.
It did in public at like a minor league game laughing like the Joker.
It was like, yeah, I did it.
Forty nine and a half.
How was Frank yesterday?
Good.
Good.
It was good.
Yeah. How was Frank yesterday? Good. Good. It was pretty good.
He sat and stood at like the same time.
The entire time was bizarre. I did.
There's brief flashes of a catcher's position too.
No, it was like he invented something completely new.
What the hell is up on the back screen?
That's the plumber butt.
Oh, yeah.
Throwback.
That guy's butt was all time.
Crack dog.
Roan took that picture.
Plumber's gooch.
It was like going viral and then he felt bad.
Yeah, they got mad at him. His friends got mad at him.
How you doing there?
Good.
I was talking to KB, but I'll...
Oh.
It looked like someone was just about to throw up.
Throw up noise.
He made a throw up noise?
Made a noise.
I'll admit, yeah, I did.
I'll admit I did.
This straight podcast is such a psycho move.
Steven's pissed, Tal.
Yeah, it's a little pissed, Tal.
Steven, you got to piss again?
I'm not going to have to piss again for several, a couple hours probably.
Let's come out here and piss again.
Hours?
I got nothing in the tank.
What color was your piss?
He spent all that time working that up just for it to get overshadowed by five different things.
Yeah, like Nick was pissed.
I wasn't even here.
It's the piss.
Brandon, the fate
of this show is resting in your body.
Brandon, any last call?
Like a song that you want to bring it home to?
Yeah, Brandon wants Dust on the Bottle.
He'll sing it.
I kind of do. Yeah, Dust on the Bottle.
I can read you like a book
We know exactly what you mean
We need that after I finish the 50th nugget
Right?
No during
I want you to finish during the climax of the song
Alright
Oh and you're stacking those
And making it look like
I drank them all
What?
One of those is mine Yeah I know I'm making it look like you drank them all. What? One of those is mine.
Yeah, I know.
I'm making it look like I drank it.
You crazy mofo.
You are crazy for that.
You got 49?
No.
What do you got?
Let me see.
I'll have to get 49.
Just eat the last two.
Another?
No. Oh, fuck. Is he singing? Yeah. Oh, hold on. Eat the last two Another? No
Oh fuck, you're singing?
Yeah
No, hold on
No
No
Rio Williams
Live down a dirt road
Made homemade wine
Why is nobody else singing?
Buddy, I know
You can try, I don't know this song.
I bought one Friday night. Let's play.
Let's sing No Rain.
Got a little girl
on me and I want to treat her right.
I got what you need
son. It's sitting down in
the cellar. Okay, where are we at?
Cobweb.
As you turn. Okay, I'm not doing this song.
The light and sand. There might be a little dust on the bottle.'m not doing this song There might be
A little dust on the bottle
Nobody's heard this song, huh?
Don't let it fool you
Let's play No Rain
There might be
A little dust on the bottle
Great song, Dave
Alright
49
Oh, Nicky
What do you do? Oh, Nicky.
What do you do?
Oh, no.
What's he doing?
Don't do this. Don't make him grow up.
Oh, let him.
I want him to puke.
I love this show.
I miss you guys.
I want to move the mic.
I miss you guys.
You guys need it?
I miss you guys.
I want to move the mic in case you...
No, he's fine.
What? What?
What?
Exqueeze me?
Whatever you want to say.
There might be a little dust on the bottle.
Close to like Saturday.
Don't let it fool you about what's inside.
There might be a little dust on the bottle.
It's one of those things that gets sweeter with time.
You look like you're about to cramp, Brandon.
Be careful.
Yeah, that's bad.
That's a cramp coming.
Staring at the blank
page. Oh, yeah. I'll sing that.
You're going to eat dinner tonight?
Come sit.
Pete, come in here for a sec.
Last time we did a long show on Friday, Pete was genuinely mad.
Pete, come here.
Pete, come sing with us. Pete, come here. Pete, come sing with us.
Pete, come sit in here, you insufferable douchebag.
Nick is blacked out.
I'm wet.
Steven pissed his pants.
He's covered in juice, KB.
You want to race me?
And he's about to drink 50, eat 50 nuggets.
Pete, come in here.
These guys are drunk off zips.
Sit down.
Me and Owen drank a fuck ton of non-alcoholic drinks.
You have to sing Blind Melon with us.
Sing Blind Melon with us.
Natasha.
All I can do is just watch some Team Fatu.
I'll bring down an octave.
Speak my heart out.
I'm pulling a few, but it's not sane.
It's not sane. It's not sane.
Let's do whatever the Hills song.
What was that?
Unwritten.
Yeah, do Unwritten.
Fuck this song.
No Rain sucks.
Yeah, he's dead.
That boy's dead.
Yeah, he's dead.
He's got one.
All right, go Unwritten. Unwritten for the last one. He's dead. He's got one. All right, go unrouted.
Unwritten for the last one.
What's your announcement?
That's a small one.
Palms.
Show them both.
Show them both.
Let's get unwritten going.
What order do we want to do this?
All right, I say we start unwritten.
Those are very small.
They're not very quick right now.
Brandon, when the chorus hits, He'll eat his 50th nugget
And then we'll do the wet wheel
Wait is Tebow black today?
Tebow's been drinking with me the entire time
Did you say he's black?
What? He's been doing what?
I don't know what race he is
Tebow?
Oh it's a guessing game
Israeli?
Who are these people sitting in the hallway?
Want me to go ask?
No
Hopefully not you Oh no no no They got a meeting or something Well let's go figure it out Who are these people sitting in the hallway? Want me to go ask? No.
Hopefully not you.
Oh, no, no, no. They got a meeting or something.
Well, let's go figure it out.
Nick.
Very.
You literally have a trash can in your lap.
Say the word, boss man.
Send me out there.
Why don't you finish your drink, bitch?
I'm very close to being done.
That's what scares me.
I'm ready. I'm ready. Finish your drink, bitch. Go out there and throw up on them.'m very close to being done. That's what scares me. I'm ready.
I'm ready.
Finish your drink, bitch.
Go out there and throw up on them.
You can wake up puke on them.
No, whoever goes out there to get the wet wheel, we'll talk to them.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right, here we go.
Play Unwritten.
How do you feel?
I feel full.
Are you going to eat dinner tonight?
Probably about six or so.
An hour. Are you going to eat dinner tonight? Probably about six or so Oh this is such a good song
Alright everyone sing
Come on Nick
Nick you're kind of dealing with it
I'm just beginning.
Depends on my hand.
Ending unplanned.
Staring at the blank page before you.
Open up the dirty window at the sun.
You cannot find teaching for something in the distance.
So close you can almost feel it.
Release your inhibition.
Feel the rain on your skin.
No one else can take it for you.
You can't let it in.
No one else can speak the words on your lips.
So, kid, live your life with arms wide open
Today is where the book begins
But the rest is still unwritten
But the rest is still unwritten
I am a nutrition.
Sometimes my tries are outside the line.
You can't puke.
No reversal portion.
I'm not making mistakes.
I can't live that way.
All right, let's start lower.
Staring at the blank page before you open up the dirty window.
Let the sun illuminate the world so you can find it.
Preaching for something in the distance.
So close you can almost taste it.
Release your inhibition.
Feel the rain on your skin.
No one else can feel it for you. Only you can let it in. No one else, no one else can speak it for you Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Stretch yourself in words unspoken
Live the word with arms wide open
Today is where the book begins
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else You can't let it in.
No one else, no one else can speak the words on your lips.
Tread yourself in words unspoken.
Live your life with arms wide open.
Today is where your book begins. The rest is still unwritten.
Oh, come on.
One more riff?
Again?
Jesus Christ.
Oh, damn.
He's did it.
Staring at the black page before you
I just ate 50 goddamn nuggets.
Let the sun illuminate the words that you cannot find
There's something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions. Feel the
rain on your skin.
The blank page before
you. Moving on during.
Alright.
Only you can let it in.
No one else, no one
else can speak the words
on your lips. Set yourself
in words unspoken.
Live your life with arms wide open.
Today is where the book begins.
The rest is still unwritten.
How long does this go?
Before you, only you can edit it.
No one else, no one else can speak the words on your lips.
Stretch yourself in words unspoken.
Live your life with arms wide open.
Today is where the book begins begins The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
Oh, and you know the rest is unwritten
The rest is is unwritten.
Oh.
Oh.
The rest is still unwritten.
At the bike page before you open up the dirty window. Don't sweat it.
Just sang it like 10 times.
You don't know it without the lyrics.
The room is such a tasty.
Release your inhibition. Feel the rain on your lips. What is the meeting of the minds going on outside?
All right, wet wheel finale.
Lemon, you're a pussy.
The stoolie's on this.
Ooh, Nicky.
I feel fine.
You going to talk to these guys outside?
No.
No, see what's up.
No.
See what they're feeling, what they're not.
Hopefully they'll buy some sneakers.
Don't go out there.
You want me to complex sneaker shop them?
Make them sneaker shop them.
Complex sneaker shop them.
What is this?
I don't want to say what I think it is.
Interns?
Interns?
They're ring at the blank piece.
What are you guys?
Who are you guys?
Who are you? Get in, all of you. Interns? Ithaca They're ring at the blank piece. What are you guys? Who are you guys? Who are you?
Get in, all of you.
Interns?
Ithaca College.
Ithaca College?
That's a hot dog.
Welcome aboard.
All right.
I'll have jobs.
Make something.
You're Brandon's boss.
Everyone's hired.
You want a job, come in here now.
Viva.
Viva.
Viva.
Viva.
If you want a job, come and piss your pants.
Or you open up the dirty window.
This is like, we need to seal off this room so no one can like...
We're just fucking caged animals.
Look at the landscape.
We should get one way to class.
If you come in here, you're like, there's a guy who can barely open his eyes.
There's just chicken fingers everywhere.
Beers, Magnum condoms.
A little dog pissed on this towel.
Brandon just had a burp that created waves going down the sides of his face.
Literally, I saw the skin rolling down to the back of his head.
All right, last name.
Last name left is getting wet.
All right.
No seven game series, just last name left. Let name. Last name left is getting wet. All right. No seven game series.
Just last name left.
Let's do it.
Everyone's on it.
Standing at the blank page before you.
Who's the worst that it could be?
I don't.
I think Nick.
Brandon's pretty bad.
I want to.
I think one of these two.
I think for Nick's own safety, he might not want to.
He might not want to.
Is this slip and fall?
Nick's been in there for a long ass time.
He's drowning. He fell asleep ass time. He's drowning.
He fell asleep standing up.
He's dead as fuck.
What's this?
Wet wheels.
So one person's going to have to do that.
All right, so.
You're good.
I'm chilling.
Yep.
All right, so this was pretty easy.
This is a season seven finale.
Finale.
This was my favorite season.
Real ones.
Season four for us.
Real ones, no.
Real ones, no.
It's a dry day.
You're good.
Jay wanted to get wet.
I can't wash.
I would like to get wet.
I got piss all over my legs.
I need a shower.
Let's put out just absurd amounts of season seven merch.
A season ever.
No, we're not doing a season six point. We're like, a season ever. No,
we're not doing a Season 6 coin.
We're doing a Season 7 coin.
It's just we send you a penny.
For $55,
we'll send you a penny.
Signed by all of us.
No,
this is the initial.
Yeah,
you're out,
Bill.
Oh,
I got out.
Oh,
hells yeah.
I'm going to have to get wet again. we'll double wet coming I didn't know that was allowed
isn't Rudy supposed to be on this say yes yeah wait where'd you go
I'll go to still see you gotta do still soon
double wets gonna suck this is the This is my Mount Rushmore right here.
Oh, wet Pasoli.
I ate 50 nuggets.
I'm already wet.
I know.
It's not bad for you.
I'm cold.
I don't want to be wet again.
It honestly might help to do a hot one.
Ash me out.
Ash him out. Wet Pas out. Hash me out.
Hash me out.
Wet Fasoli.
Hash out, my boy.
Wet Fasoli.
Yes.
I'm going to have to get double wet.
I can feel it.
So it's just one spin?
One spin.
I wish I didn't feel as normal as I do.
You don't feel bad at all?
You don't feel very shitty?
The person left.
The person left.
That's so much scarier.
The person left.
I wish I hurt more.
The person left has to go.
I mean, Frank couldn't do it.
It just got dry.
It just started to get dry.
That's got to be humbling.
Wet facility!
Better get dressed.
Stopping.
Stopping.
That is the wheel being just because now everyone had to do something.
Yep.
Unbelievable.
Sully, why don't you smile for the camera, you big oaf?
Look at that face.
Face only a mother could love.
Can you come in here and we can pinch your cheeks real quick?
Can we tell him?
What he's stalling for.
That he's got Roan's chair for season eight.
Roan's not coming back.
Like a football player gets a scholarship,
a walk-on gets a scholarship.
Some people on the internet already figured it out,
but Roan is in jail for pedophilia, so...
Congrats, brother.
Oh, that's nice.
Some QAnons already have put the-
Hey, we got some big news for you, buddy.
Figured out that the storm chaser was actually a false flag.
All right.
Fasoli-
He had an intern to go shower with.
Russia invaded Ukraine.
Fasoli texted me, and he was wearing his Saturdays are for the troops shirt.
He was like, I'm ready.
That's it.
Were they all interns?
No, just a visiting college group.
College group. Where are they at? Oh, just a visiting college group. College group.
Where are they at?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Going upstairs.
So not Cornell?
No.
Ooh, that's got to be a tough, like, juxtaposition.
Yeah.
Where do they go?
Go to the cool, you're in the same town.
Where do they go?
Ithaca.
Ithaca.
Wow.
I'm supposed to speak there.
What?
For Billy Carlin?
No, just like, you No, just like at graduation
You were stoked to get that invite
I'm not doing this
I'm not doing this
Wait, give me your impression of Sass
If he was in your position right now.
You guys don't understand.
I've never...
Nobody's ever been this drunk before.
I've never felt drunker.
I'm the drunkest anybody's ever been.
I've said that word for word many times.
He's not wet enough.
We're sending him back.
I've said that so many times. He's wet enough we're sending him back I've said that so many times
He's wet enough
Come here let us touch you
Yeah he's wet
Big Cat deems wet
No he's wet I see him he's wet
The guy's wet he's still dripping
Be careful be careful
There's glass
And nuggets and some beers
Alright that's our show
You wanna go see Batman?
Do you want to go see Batman?
Is there a new Batman?
Wait, there's a new Batman?
Apparently there is, yeah.
Robin Pattinson.
Is it good?
William Dafoe.
Oh, Robbie Fox liked it, so he's usually very discerning.
Shit, we never did Full Sand Avocado.
Oh, man.
We didn't crew this either.
You crewed this to college group.
We did this to college group. The didn't crudist the college group.
Roan will have to do those things. The fun of crudisting is that you do it on your own.
No one ever knows.
You just do it for your own pleasure.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Drink one more cup.
I will die.
Drink a shot.
Take a shot.
All right.
Season seven is in the books.
Clap it up for season seven.
Oh, no.
Oh, that's the yak.
Oh, let's just see if he pukes.
No, he's not.
I know Nicky.
All right, that's season seven, the worst season ever,
but the season that most real ones are going to be like,
yo, that was my shit.
See everyone on Monday.
Jack fan, did you like season seven?
Then you're not a Jack fan.
The wheel has been restored.
Clip that and post that.
See everyone Monday. It's the act. It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act. It's the act.
It's the act. 10X