The Yak - The Final O'Dayniac Rankings (SHOCKING) | The Yak 8-25-21
Episode Date: August 26, 2021Basically wrote Tyler's first month of tweets for him tooYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visi...t barstool.link/barstoolyak
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
All right, we're here. It's the Yak. We're setting it up. We have mic problems. TJ's working hard.
Shout out, TJ.
Shout out to Trent and Thunder.
We got mic problems like Jerry Reinsdorf.
Oh.
Man, imagine if this was a sponsorship.
That'd be some big money right there.
Trent and Thunder broke TJ's heart.
Did they?
The Yankees broke TJ Thunder's heart.
TJ Thunder.
Oh, what is that?
It's a Whopper. I got us Whoppers.
So, yeah, so KB, I don't want a Whopper,
but KB lost in skeeball,
so Sass had to buy him McDonald's.
KB now has to eat all of the McDonald's.
All of it.
Everybody's order of McDonald's.
We all said what our order was,
and KB has to fucking punish
every single morsel of it
in a rare twist of fate.
You're fucked.
This shit is type sauce.
Yes, bro.
A little bit.
Eat my meat.
A little bit.
Eat our meat.
All right, so you got to start.
Yes, I start. Are you going to start. I guess I start.
Are you going to start, Sass?
I might as well.
You're the champion of this bet because you, well, no, you bought it.
Yeah.
Any words for KB?
It was expensive, so you better eat all of it.
Okay, so there it is.
And then we also have Tyler O'Day here.
We have almost set up the mic.
It's in my crotch.
It's in my crotch. It's in his crotch. Tyler O'Day who
basically said
we're all worth
nothing in life
because he'd rather
work for a building
which we've litigated
that but
it needs to be said
again that he's a
fucking
big body caper.
He's just camped out
in an edifice.
A fucking building.
This guy's got an
edifice complex.
What happens if the
Empire State Building
what happens if we're going to rehash's got an edifice complex. What happens if the Empire State Building...
We gonna rehash if this is a disaster again?
What happens if, yeah,
trips down the stairs? Something like that.
If the Empire State Building trips down the stairs?
Yeah, if the Empire State Building fell into a doorknob.
Yeah. You know, could happen.
This is a fucking nightmare.
TJ, really?
No, the Empire State Building will be fine.
The Taliban's not really a thing anymore.
The Empire State Building has been steadfast for 90 years,
and I think it's got another 90.
Only 90?
That's not very much.
At least.
At least.
Hundreds.
KB, how you doing?
Is it good?
You're housing that shit.
KB?'re sick though
You got a good pace going
Filet-O-Fish
Best item
Smooth infantile bun
A perfect geometrical square
Of a fish
Infantile
A splatter of
Tartar
I'm not doing
I can't do this
I don't want to
It's fucked up
How are you guys gonna make me do this?
For real?
I'm gonna get sick
Cry
Yeah you know what It is kinda fucked up Yeah you don't have to do it You don't have to. It's fucked up. How are you guys going to make me do this? For real? I'm going to get sick. Cry. Yeah, you know what?
It is kind of fucked up.
Yeah, you don't have to do it.
You don't have to do it.
All right, yeah.
Fuck this.
You don't have to do this.
You gave it a shot.
Good shit, though, KB.
Good shit, though, B.
All right, big KB.
Good try, bro.
Good shit, bro.
All right, let's get into these rankings.
Sash, you good?
I don't give a fuck if he eats it or not.
I mean, if he ate all of that, he would literally die.
I would have ordered food.
That has to be like 50,000 calories.
Yeah.
Literally?
Thanks for the empathy.
Michael Phelps eats that for breakfast, bro.
Yeah, that's a rock cheat day, bro.
Who wants to make chicken?
Stu Feiner orders this.
Owen does.
It's his favorite.
If you tell Stu Feiner you're coming over to his house, this is whatiner orders this. Owen does. It's his favorite. If you tell
Stu Feiner you're coming over to his house, this is what he orders
just for you two.
He'll just go head to head over this.
Alright, so back to Tyler.
You're a piece of shit for
going to the Empire State Building.
Thank you.
What did we do?
Besides be like
great friends to you, what did we do?
It wasn't you guys.
It wasn't anyone on the Yak.
It really wasn't anyone, period.
I just.
It doesn't sound like that.
It had to be someone.
Was it Cody?
Tell us who it was.
No, it wasn't Cody.
No, there was no impetus.
It just felt like the right choice. There's never
no impetus. No.
That defies the laws of physics.
It just felt
like the right decision at the right time.
Does it feel like the right decision now?
Was it last
week when I was on here and I was waiting for the phone
call? It felt... I thought
we were on the precipice of something very bad.
You having to continue to work with us no just rank rank the impetai financial emotional egotistical ah i would say
i'd say the ego is probably the least important because if anything i'm going to go further into
the shadows you're literally going to work for a phallic-looking building that was once the tallest building in the world.
On some gothic show.
That's his ego.
That's my fifth in New York.
And you're running the entire operation.
It's not.
I have a point because I've been doing some thinking about this.
A lot of people have been talking about size and height.
The Burj Khalifa is taller, as we spoke about last week, but... Significantly
so. Sure.
No. That's not a sure.
That wasn't you agreeing.
It's a fact.
How many times taller?
Three. Is it? Three times taller.
No.
At least. That's obscene.
And the floor space,
the square footage, maybe four times as big.
If you work for the Burj Khalifa, I'd be like, that's sick, dude.
But my point was, once you get to the top of the Burj Khalifa, there's not really much to look at.
Yeah, huh?
There's that man-made fucking, those aisles.
You're saying the Middle East is a wasteland?
No, that's not what I'm saying.
I'm saying that the view, in my humble opinion, from the Empire State Building is infinitely more interesting and dynamic than the view from the Burj Khalifa.
But have you been to the Burj Khalifa?
I've watched enough YouTube.
All right.
Doesn't do it. I'll take your word.
I mean, I went on a helicopter ride, Tyler, around the Burj Khalifa, and it was the most breathtaking moment of my life.
I swear that to you.
When was that?
Some two and a half years ago, Tyler.
One does have asthma, just so we know.
Do you know the inside of the Empire State Building is hollow?
Really?
There's just nothing in there.
Aren't most buildings hollow on the inside?
No, this one has nothing.
I just looked it up.
Burj Khalifa's four times taller.
Oh, my God.
Four times.
Damn.
Look at that.
What do you think of that infographic would make you feel like a pussy?
Yeah.
No.
Really look at that.
No, because ours is thicker for longer.
Oh, so you work for a chode.
Thicker for longer.
No.
I like a slight taper.
Ease me into a building.
That's a dramatic taper.
Ease a building into a meeting.
Are you going to get mad when we all ratio your ass?
What are you going to say?
Go jump off a building?
To the Empire State Building?
Jump off yourself.
That's some better shit.
Am I going to be mad? No.
Because I think in your heart of hearts
you know as well as I know that
it'll help draw attention.
What?
Oh, that.
That.
Okay.
What happens if someone does jump off the first week?
It would be the first time that has happened in a long time.
Oh, that would be a shame.
How long?
I think over 10 years, I think.
Not too long.
That's still fresh in some families' memories.
Historical standpoint, that is almost
yesterday.
I don't want to dwell
on the...
I thought you were
going to say like
30 years or 40 maybe.
I thought maybe 40.
Or the whole 90.
That was after
about a week.
Can we get that?
Can we get who
jumped off?
Pull them up?
Or like a graphic
you could have
like a day since
last jump off
or something like that.
Pull up their face.
It would be a real
shame if it went to zero.
10 years.
This is already feeling
like a bad idea.
Five minutes in.
You know who actually
the guy who jumped off last
was the last social media
manager there.
Yeah.
He was just running
the MySpace.
Will you have an office?
Like a doored office?
Yeah.
Fucking never mind.
You don't like to talk about a door?
What floor will you be located on?
The 12th.
The 12th?
Are you serious?
You might as well be working at Macy's.
How many floors are there?
104.
What?
You're on the ground.
It wouldn't make sense.
You're in the basement. It wouldn't make sense. You're in the basement.
The bottom 15%.
It wouldn't make sense to give the best real estate to the building ownership as a business.
Oh, you own the building.
Me?
No.
Do you have equity in the building now?
No, I have no equity in the building.
What's the next step?
Are you a building guy now for the rest of your life?
I think I'm a chameleon.
12th floor.
You're at the high ankle of the building.
You're a dry fit sock.
You're a dry fit sock of the building.
A brace.
You're a shin guard of the building.
You're a band-aid on your pinky toe.
Some say the lower half is the most important.
Keeps the building stable.
I would concur.
If there's some kind of an attack, that would be the quickest way to get out is being on the lower floor.
Oh, so you're like when they're like, save the women and children first.
You don't believe in that.
Well, equality.
I didn't choose where the office was.
They weren't like, hey, you want to be on 103?
Or 12?
How long does it take to get it to the top?
How long does it take to get 100 floors up?
Will you be walking it every day?
It's going to be like a three minute elevator ride.
I've been asked to do the tower climb race.
Three minutes now.
How long is the tower climb race?
That is 86 floors.
And it takes like the world record holders like nine and a half minutes.
Try hard.
I won't be anywhere near that.
Is there a 13th floor?
TJ really fucked me here.
How long does it take to fall from that?
TJ still works here, so have some respect.
Why?
I'm going to take a picture of you for the swipe up.
You look good.
You look great.
10 years per second per second.
This is just ball busting.
This is just guys.
We're hurt.
We don't say that we're hurt.
We don't talk about our emotions.
We're projecting.
That's why we're eating the McDonald's.
So we just take it out on you by some jokes.
Guilt by association.
Well, not association.
Well, yeah, association.
No, not anymore.
Not guilt by association.
No guilt.
Do you think at any point you will be back at Barstool Sports?
I can't say.
I don't know.
If Carlin came back.
He'll be back.
If who came back?
Carlin.
Well, yeah, that was always part of the plan, though.
Some are saying he's the new you, though.
He wishes.
Wow.
Excellent.
I have much love for BW.
Is he on your list?
Thank you.
He's not on my list. Well, not that much love.
Will you be reporting how much money you're making
and how much money you've made
and the moves you've made on your social media?
I'll be doing pay stubs on Twitter every Friday.
That's a good man.
Hypothetically speaking,
if I were to have $75,000 in my savings account,
what could I buy?
Something like that.
A tweet.
Yeah, something like that. You're looking for a pair of
sunglasses, but you don't want to spend more than
$500.
Any recommendations?
Any sunglass ever.
Every pair of sunglasses I own
actually I have found on the ground.
Not true.
Swear to God, that's not true.
Three for three. You've only worn three pairs of
sunglasses? You're an accessory man. Yeah, but with the masks and stuff, it's not true. Three for three. You've only worn three pairs of sunglasses. You're an accessory man.
Yeah, but with the masks and stuff, it's not been as convenient.
I found a pair of Warby Parkers in a bar.
I found a pair of...
They were on the ground, though.
Is this Colby's McFlurry?
Yeah, it's Colby's McFlurry.
Should we pour that out?
Play some Grizz as we pour that out?
We can get through an entire Grizz album, a Grizmas.
That thing will pour slowly.
I really want to eat it, but...
I almost got punched out on the train today.
I got a nice message from Colby last night.
By whom?
I stepped on this guy's shoe.
And he was like, he said,
you trying to fund the scuff or get tough about it?
Shut the fuck up.
Then he laughed, then i was like
what are he what else was he wearing so you paid him he was wearing velvet
he was nice you're trying to wait what did you say you say you're trying to fund the scuff or
get tough about it that's a great line but so's good. So did you come off some money or what?
You come out of pocket?
I looked at him and I apologized a second time
and he just laughed and shook his head.
Say it again, fund the scuff?
Fund the scuff or get tough about it.
You should make that a shirt.
I think that meant pay for the damage I did or fight him.
Yeah, fight to the death.
But it's such a poetic way to say it.
Was that Hemingway?
You should have fought him.
You trying to fund the scuff?
He looked old.
He looked old?
Yeah.
Fund the scuff sounds like
asking someone to fight, too.
There's no way.
That has to be like a thing, right?
Like he didn't just come up
with that on the spot.
I bet he did.
I think that's his go-to line.
That would be awesome. He had his feet extended on the subway. He wanted people to step on the spot. I bet he did. I bet that's his go-to line. That would be awesome.
He had his feet extended
on the subway.
He wanted people
to step on his shoe.
Are we boring you, Tyler?
Okay.
How many...
I saw Gaz in the elevator.
I was confused.
Why?
Because he's leaving
in an elevator?
Does he typically
take the stairs?
I don't know
where he's going.
I guess I'm not entitled
to that information.
I can't believe you're fucking leaving us, dude.
I'm sorry.
No, I don't think you are.
You guys have like an Auntie Anne's in there?
What do you have?
What attractions?
Sell us.
Sell us this building.
I've never been in.
Do you have somewhere you want to be on the 100th second floor of?
No.
Is it residential at all?
That's absolutely terrible to be that high up.
I don't think so.
Oh, yeah.
Four million Americans a year would disagree with you.
Well, the tourists?
They're people.
Tourists.
They're not all Americans.
Four million Americans would disagree?
Four million, sorry, human beings, not Americans.
That's a tiny percentage of human.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, yeah, when you want to talk about
the six billion people oh barely anyone would disagree with you like literally no one goes there
false four million out of six you caught the iowa is uh dubuque has been to the empire
dubuque wishes any residential area in there Or is it all office based
Any commercial
What's a commercial like
It's strictly commercial
So it's a slew of different
LinkedIn has the world headquarters there
Aren't you a communist though
No I wouldn't say that
I thought you were
No
Democratic socialist
Democratic socialist
You have a rose avatar in your twitter
It's true
Wait you do
No Oh Shit My bad comrade I would love to Socialist. Democratic socialist. You have a rose avatar in your Twitter. It's true. Wait, you do?
No.
Oh, shit.
My bad, comrade.
I would love to.
I think we should do an episode from the observatory.
No, thank you.
Okay.
If we did that, KB, we'd definitely jump.
I'd want to do it from the first floor of the basement.
Yeah, we can do it in the vault. We would just do a whole entire show being like, KB, you won't jump.
We will have to tie him down.
Look at him.
Look at his face right now. He's coming off a bender
last night.
Delta 8, Ben.
My fear of heights is inverse to
my desire to die.
So it's the ultimate
conundrum. The higher you go, the more you want to
die?
Is that my understanding?
I'm as afraid of heights as I want to die to die both are as great one-to-one
so it cancels so are you i want to die very badly and i'm very afraid of
heights okay so you got to get off a height just to jump true
it's very much faster than the elevator old elevators how fast do they go
oh no they're they're new yeah since when brand new very new how new i uh they feel you you
dude you're the face of the build yeah but i'm not a tour guide i don't know every you're the
face of the i haven't started yet imagine if you didn't even realize that was your job
you showed up and they're like all right are you going to retweet your personal account yeah yeah my retweet my personal yes no absolutely
you're not even running the account though you're running all the accounts i i believe so i i uh
you know you never know until you get there we are on we have so it's one for the empire state
building and one for the Empire State Realty Trust.
They're on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, TikTok.
I think we should make a foray into Snapchat.
How many tweets are you going to have to put out there a day?
I have learned here that more is more.
So I think we should put out a lot.
So you're just you're not even tweeting it, though.
You're telling someone else to tweet it.
Not to office space you here, but what exactly are you doing?
Would you like me to read the description?
Sure.
Okay, I'll find it.
That would add some clarity to the situation.
I'll need some filler for a second.
Was the Empire State Building taller than the Twin Towers?
No.
No.
Before they were built, it was.
Did the Twin Towers have an observatory?
They did.
Taller than it now.
It was a restaurant, wasn't it?
It was.
The tweet that I was going to give him wouldn't work if they were taller.
Let's pretend that they were.
I was going to say, however tall they are, you could do the tweet with the 20 years ago today, the Twin Towers, and then their height in parentheses.
Okay, I got it.
Or hit. Would have been a banger. Would have banged. That would have popped. 20 years ago today, the Twin Towers, and then their height in parentheses. Okay, I got it.
Would have been a banger.
That would have popped.
What do you have planned for September 11th?
I don't know yet.
Seems like a big day that you should probably get ahead of.
I assume there are things being planned,
but because of confidentiality, I haven't been made privy to them.
Things being planned?
Wait, they made you sign a confidentiality agreement?
No, they haven't discl a confidentiality agreement? No, like they haven't
disclosed information to me.
Got it.
Because I'm not an employee.
Billy, Billy, thank you.
Thank you for your service.
You certainly have to.
You can't have fun
with a 9-11 tweet.
I would highly agree with that.
You've got to keep it plain.
Oh, for Christ's sake.
God damn it, Nick.
You son of a bitch.
Good, man. That was good.
They can't repeat it.
Trust me.
This really blows the shit up.
So my job there is to build and execute social media content for the Empire State Building through research, benchmarking, messaging, and audience identification.
Sounds fake.
Manage influencer strategy.
So we do have a lot of social influencers and then athletes, public figures come to the building.
And so I'll manage their appearances and kind of what we do with them.
Biweekly reporting on social media engagement. Partner with two external agencies. and so I'll manage their appearances and kind of what we do with them.
Biweekly reporting on social media engagement,
partner with two external agencies that help with audience development,
work with PR, marketing, leasing, operations,
develop social media campaigns, manage a content calendar, monitor. That's a Fleming. I just pulled a Fleming.
So, yeah.
Okay. I don't understand it but i'm excited
for you because i do i'm a odaniac we're gonna get to the list i will be an odaniac wherever you go
wherever you may fly i'll take that pledge yes i i will not i mean wherever i give you a tough
time but i truly am happy for you uh our loss, your gain, all that.
I'm sad.
What else can you say?
I appreciate that very much.
It's very nice.
It's bullshit.
I feel like you're about to be dragging some other people out of here, too.
Yeah.
You broke the seal.
I'm not going to poach people.
No?
No.
Do we have your word? So if I text you tomorrow and I'm like, hey, I'm thinking about doing a podcast exclusively
about the Empire State Building, do you think they have a spot for me?
What will you say?
Well, that would be different.
The podcast exclusively...
That would be an offer.
...in the elevator.
That would be an offer I really couldn't refuse.
I have an idea to pitch to you.
It's a podcast tour of different historical monuments throughout the world.
And the Genesis is at the Empire State Building.
But you could extend it to different buildings, different museums.
And it's just a podcast for the Louvre, a podcast for the Burj Khalifa.
And it's all under Empire State Building, under the umbrella.
Once I start working there, and really now, I'm a one-building kind of guy.
I will have tunnel vision.
It will be like the rest of the world's architecture does not exist.
Fair enough.
Fair enough.
So maybe just something individual.
Maybe an app tour for the building or something like that?
Well, we wouldn't want that because the whole point is to get people in the building.
No, I'm saying when you go in the building, you download the app, and then you listen to a tour.
A guided tour.
I'm just out here pitching.
While we have time together, I thought I'd try and lend some good ideas to you.
I do think there is something to be said about a history of each floor of the building because it's been around for a long time.
Wait, wait, wait.
That's 104 floors?
There's 104 stories that we can tell.
62nd floor. What happened there?
Exactly. You have no idea.
21st.
How many murders have happened in the Empire State Building?
Great question. Zero.
That can't be right.
You think every building in New York City has just had a murder?
Our old office had a double
homicide.
On the second floor.
Yeah.
Really?
Yep.
Good for our old building.
Yeah.
Rest in peace.
I love that.
Did you ever go to that building?
Oh, yeah, I did for working out. For once, yeah.
No, I...
Did you work there?
I was still operating when I started working.
I like that building.
That's where I pissed in the sink multiple times.
That was the summer when I was an intern.
Do you think that was sexual harassment?
No, the door was closed.
Exactly.
Thank you.
Rest my case.
I gotta stop eating McDonald's.
Yeah, I feel awful.
It's so good.
Can we get it out of here?
I feel terrible.
I had a Filet-O-Fish and a Double Cheeseburger.
So, yeah, you ate my Filet-O-Fish.
You had a Filet-O-Fish?
That was in the text that you were on and you read.
But I ordered a filet-o-fish.
Did you have it in the text?
I forgot.
We put our orders in the text?
Oh, Brandon.
I owe you a filet-o-fish.
I'm sorry.
There is another one in there.
I have Burger King.
I think this KB's empty box.
What's he doing?B's empty box. Stop.
What's he doing?
He's eating more.
Stop.
Stop.
Yeah, yeah.
Tyler O'Day, would you like a hamburger?
No, I'm okay.
Thank you.
I'm going to try to eat well today.
Have a salad.
Just today?
I try to eat well every day.
It just doesn't go very well.
Is there a food court in the Empire State Building?
No.
No.
There's no food court.
What the fuck are you going to eat?
Yeah, they don't have the space for it.
There are retail.
No, we have commercial retail vendors on the ground floor.
You having problems with that, Mike?
Yeah.
I've been sabotaged by TJ.
On your day. No less. That's all right. Would you like to trade seats with that, Mike? Yeah. I've been sabotaged by TJ. On your day.
No less. That's alright.
Would you like to trade seats? No, no, no.
Please, I'm a guest in your house.
Brandon, sweet tea is kind of gross. That's not sweet tea. Okay.
Thank you, Kyle,
for stopping me. You're welcome, boys. That's not
sweet tea. I appreciate it, Kyle, for stopping me.
It is. That's what good friends do.
They don't leave you for the Empire State Building.
It is sweet tea.
It is, though.
That's very much not.
I'm sorry.
It's sweet tea.
I don't want to derail this.
That's not fucking sweet tea.
What is it?
I don't know what it is.
It's got some lemonade in it that's too yellow to be sweet tea.
It's just not sweet tea.
You want to taste it?
It has to be a deep brown like a whiskey.
Can't be.
Like a whiskey.
Can't be looking like that. It looks very watered down. It's literally just tea with sugar poured into it. It tastes like shit. I have a whiskey. Can't be... Like a whiskey. Can't be looking like that.
It looks very watered down.
Sugar poured into it.
Tastes like shit.
I have a question.
I'm still going to take it,
but...
I have a question.
If we never get to the Odaniacs,
does that mean you can't leave?
You can't leave.
He wouldn't let himself.
Just throwing that out there.
I would have been fine
with a straw, but...
It would be...
I would find myself
in a bit of a pickle.
It's kind of a
save tonight situation.
Yeah.
Save tonight.
Fight the break of dawn.
Come tomorrow.
Tomorrow I'll be gone.
Save tonight.
Tomorrow comes to take me away.
I wish that I could stay.
Baby, I got to I could stay. Baby, you know I got to go.
Oh.
Well, I wish it wasn't so safe tonight.
It's kind of one of those situations.
Yeah, we just popped your eagle-eyed cherry.
You don't know that.
Fucking stop.
You get a little Burger King in Nick and he's fucking wild.
I'm on all cylinders.
It's the char-Broil.
You're fucking dunking on us.
Eagle Eye Cherry played at the College of the Holy Cross,
and they asked them not to sing Jumper because there was a suicide within the school.
That's Third Eye Blonde.
The E-Cross.
Jumper's not his song.
Stop it.
Oh, fuck.
Stop it.
Then whatever was up.
This is real, though.
Don't mention that song.
Why don't you like Jumper?
I wish you would step back from that bench, my friend.
We could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in.
Ebony knows this one now.
I played it for her.
If you did not want to see me again, I would understand.
I would understand.
Yank me boys I swear by the secret
They're all something wrong
I have a couple points of personal privilege
Yeah
Jumping off of your parsnip
I would like
These are not Odaniacs
But I have a few
Just housekeeping notes
I'd like to wish Chris Wemmer
good luck on his jaw surgery
for sleep apnea today.
Okay.
Gregory Butler.
Is that what he got
a jaw surgery for?
It's cosmetic.
All right,
we know it's cosmetic.
It's my sleep apnea.
Oh, yeah.
Gregory Butler
and his beautiful bride
would like to announce
that they're having a baby
in March of 2022.
Oh, beautiful.
They have to name it Tyler.
Yes, they're legally bound.
Or Bunshaft.
Yes.
Lord, if it's a boy.
Lady, if it's a girl.
And it'll be a girl.
Butler.
I have to mention Bowling Green University.
State.
Mac.
The Mac leader in STDs.
Creme de la creme of the Mac. That's a fact, right? The Mac leader in STDs, yesreme to the creme of the Mac.
That's a fact, right?
In STDs, yes.
They have their own strain every year.
They absolutely lead the league.
It's not Ball State.
It's not Central Michigan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then Jack Murray, he got a Peloton.
So good for him.
Who's Jack Murray?
No one knows.
Sounds like a real fuck boy.
He'll be in good shape soon, though.
If he sticks to it. He's got to stick to it. Yeah, but you know him. He'll be in good shape soon, though. If he sticks to it.
He's got to stick to it.
Yeah, but you know him.
He's not going to.
I do.
He quits everything.
That's a fact.
That's all I have for housekeeping.
Congrats to Greg and Chris.
How much money did you make off of those shout outs?
You selling ads?
What did she just do there?
A little payola scheme there all day? Speaking of ads, why don't you do selling ads? Yeah. What did she just do there? A little payola scheme
there all day?
Speaking of ads,
why don't you do our ad?
Sure.
Sung.
Mr. Sasquatch.
Sung it.
Sung it.
Sing it?
Yeah.
No, sung it.
So when you need to slow down,
just open a Coors Light.
It's mountain cold refreshment
made to chill.
It tastes great from Coors,
Brewing Company in Golden,
Colorado.
So slow down and celebrate responsibly. Get Coors Light inors Brewing Company in Golden, Colorado. So slow down
and celebrate responsibly.
Get Coors Light
in the new
Delivered Straight to Your Door.
No, but he's doing it
in triplets though.
He's talking.
No, he's doing it
and he has a rhythm to it.
With Drizzly or Instacart
by going to
CoorsLight.com
slash take.
Some sandwich.
And then you have to
repeat the highlighted.
That's CoorsLight.com
slash take.
Damn good.
We're drinking Coors Light. I enjoyed that. That's CoorsLight.com slash take. Damn good. We're drinking Coors Light.
I enjoyed that.
We're just singing.
Our songs are all a tribute to you.
They're all in supplication of you,
Mr. O'Day. Thank you, Mr. Ron.
Is there a Tyler song? Is there a song?
Tyler the Creator.
Tyler the Creator.
See, what is this
Walk This Way
Walk This Way
Talk This Way
That's it
You sound like it
Just give me a kiss
KB why don't you sing
Usher Burn
Oh day was gonna be the day
Back to you
Yes
I think we should do
Jumper again.
You just have fun?
You just liked it?
You just really liked that song?
Yeah.
I never even put together that Jumper was like... He's jumping off a ledge.
It is actually a ledge.
Empire State Building.
He's jumping off an observatory deck.
He's jumping off the Empire State Building because they hired Tyler O'Day.
Specifically.
That seems a little backwards. Well, the first person to jump off the Empire State Building, it was Tyler O'Day. Specifically. That seems a little backwards.
Well.
The first person to jump off
the Empire State Building
was a construction worker
that got laid off.
So jumping off
the Empire State Building
predates the Empire State Building.
Wow.
Yes.
Keep going.
Did you know that?
I did.
Fuck.
You've been awfully
hush-hush about it.
That's the first.
Steeping it under the rug.
That we like to bring up.
Do they have like a I feel like they must get touchy about those kind of things. You should bring that up your first thing. Steeping it under the rug. That's something that we like to bring up. Do they have like a, I feel like they must get touchy about those kind of things.
You should bring that up your first day.
Yeah, like the Hawaiians.
Yeah, just like the Hawaiians.
Yeah, exactly.
He's here to grow our bread.
It would be.
Odesis.
It would be kind of funny if like someone went at the Empire State Building and you replied with the Empire State Building, kill yourself.
Yeah.
And use me doing it.
Kill yourself, bitch.
Jump off me.
You won't jump off me.
A free ticket.
Fucking coward.
A free ticket to the top of you.
Yeah, one-way ticket up.
Oh, you don't have money for the down elevator?
This one's on us.
Yeah, they are separate tickets.
There's actually 2,000 people have been trapped up there for a while.
Damn.
Are you at the point now if...
This is blurry, right?
Your soda?
Blurry?
This boy's got blurry soda.
Hold on.
We've got to solve this first.
I can't tell if I'm cloudy or I can't tell if I'm going blind.
Or if you have a blurry soda.
Bulgur soda?
No, it's not.
Yeah.
Let me see. Let me see. Let me see. Are you showing the numbers? It's you have a blurry soda. Bulgur soda? No, it's not. Yeah. Let me see.
Let me see.
Let me see.
Let me see.
Are you sure with the numbers?
He's got a cornea scratch.
This guy's got a scratch cornea.
That's as clear as day.
It's very clear.
Wait, are you serious?
He's got glaucoma.
Don't even bring it back.
I don't even want to.
He's got glaucoma.
I'm not keeping it.
It was tripping me out.
It's clear as day.
You need to smoke some weed for that glaucoma, brother.
Get your eyes right. I have glaucoma. It's clear as day. You need to smoke some weed for that glaucoma, brother. Get your eyes right.
I have glaucoma. That's right.
And you got it at the Empire
State Building? No. Is that why you
will, actually this will work
into the Empire State Building, will they allow
bong breaks like they allow
you bong breaks here for your
glaucoma? Um, no.
Tyler's always high. Do you have a bong room
like a breastfeeding room? Mr. Building, just so youa. Tyler's always high. Do you have a bong room like a breastfeeding room?
Mr. Building, just so you know,
Tyler's always high. Higher than the
building, actually.
Because you wouldn't pass.
For a multitude of reasons.
I'd like to publicly state that I've
never taken a bong break at Barstool Sports.
It was not really a break. You did it
while you were working.
It was a work break.
I'm multitasking. I did it while you were working. Yeah, really, it was a work break.
Multitasking.
I just do it at my desk.
That would be sick if you did a little tweet like,
I'm higher than the fucking building.
What's the voice going to be?
Is it going to be lowercase?
No, I do not like the lowercase typers.
I think they're trying to make a point, and they don't have one.
Are you going to do the Spongebob meme, uppercase, lowercase shit?
Exclusively, yeah.
Just promise us you're not going to be in the threads with Wendy's and McDonald's.
Oh, yes he will.
Yes he will. You're going to be getting into bed with Slim Jim.
Yes he will.
Yeah, we're in the pocket of big cured meat.
Because that shit is the worst.
Yeah, what does Slim Jim know about the milk crate challenge?
Nothing.
Has the Empire State Building come out against racism?
No, conspicuously they haven't.
Yes.
Their silence is deafening.
You have.
Can we see the tweet?
Let me see your tweet against it, Owen.
The top of it is very...
Oh, oh, oh.
I love racism.
Oh, yeah.
My Venmo profile picture is all black.
The top of the Empire State Building.
What color are you going to make it?
Is that really the narrative you want to get into?
What color are you going to make it?
Why me?
It's all about you.
What color?
So I would again Like to push back
Against Mr. Bauer
From two weeks ago
That you can change
The color on an app
That's a falsehood
Yeah I know that
I have video proof
That's a falsehood
I have video proof
I'll send it to Stephen right now
Never existed for the
Empire State Building
I'm gonna send it to Stephen
Right now
He's gonna play it
I really hope this is
The first time I mentioned
The Empire State Building
To anyone
Their first thing they said
Was like oh yeah
I used to be able to
Change the color
Of the lights Yeah they wish Okay so used to be able to change the color of the lights.
Yeah, they wish.
Okay, so what are you going to change the color to?
Does the act have an official color?
Yes.
White.
Black.
It's black.
Black.
I wonder if we can do black lights up there.
Yes, and see if there's comets.
Guilty.
Whoops.
I knew I left that somewhere.
That'd be amazing if all of New York was under a blacklight and there's just cum everywhere.
Scientifically, there kind of has to be.
There probably would be.
There scientifically has to be cum everywhere in New York.
Do it, please.
You won't.
We have 16 million colors at our disposal.
16 million?
No. No, you don't. That doesn't. No. 16 million colors at our disposal. 16 million? No.
No, you don't.
That doesn't.
No.
There's seven.
Name 10.
Cyan.
Okay, that's a good one.
Never mind.
Don't, don't, don't.
Macaroni and cheese.
Kelly green.
Hunter green.
Forest green.
Mauve.
Mauve.
I think it's Maeve. Mauve. Mauve's a pretty woman's name. No, it's Mauve. It's Mauve. Mauve. I think it's Maeve.
Mauve.
Mauve's a pretty woman's name.
No, it's Mauve.
It's Maeve.
It's Mauve.
It's a pretty name for an ugly woman.
M-A-E-V-E.
Maeve.
Oh, there's a U in there.
You got Cerulean.
Boy, you know we do.
All right, I'm in.
I'm back in.
What about yellow?
Good question, Dan.
It's a forgotten color.
So you know your colors.
Okay, should we do it?
Should we hop into it?
This is the final
Odaniacs ranking.
Ever?
Ever.
I already saw the...
Can you rank me, Tyler?
He's crushing it, folks.
He's crushing it. He's on fire. Can you rank me, Tyler? He's crushing it, folks. He's crushing it.
He's on fire.
Can you rank me, Tyler?
I can.
Okay.
I can.
I love the O'Daniacs rankings.
Without further ado.
A lot of people don't get it.
Yeah, I've been getting a lot of messages that the YouTube chat is furious right now.
You know what?
They don't realize that
I think the O'Daniac shows
are some of our funniest.
It's not about the list.
These are my favorite shows.
It's not about the list.
It's about the banter
off of the list.
It's about the boys.
You never know
what's going to be on the list.
Right.
That's the best part.
Right.
And remember,
Nick made that joke
about the plane.
I did make that plane joke.
Can you say it, Big Cat?
Nah, I don't think so.
Let's run that back.
More of a clip-worthy scenario.
Did you send you the video to Stephen Shad?
I did.
It's not of me.
It's of Donnie, but I was with him, and I'm the one who downloaded it.
So let's just do this.
If Kyle's vindicated here, you can't go work for that building.
Sure.
I don't know if I would have taken that.
Jesus.
Kyle seems very confident.
Kyle's just watched the video.
I just watched the video and sent it.
I pray to God this is the Bank of America Tower.
It's not.
Well, I got some bad news for you.
Oh, no, Kyle.
It was.
It's the Bofa Tower.
Am I wrong?
Oh, no.
Wait, this might not be the Bofa Tower.
Oh, no.
Oh, fuck.
Kyle, unsend it.
Unsend it.
Unsend it, Kyle.
What does it look like?
What does the Empire State Building look like?
No, we don't have it yet.
He has emailed us.
I assume he sent it already.
Send it.
No, I want to watch it.
KB, I want to watch it.
Send it to him.
Send it to him, KB.
Am I right?
No, send it to him.
We got to see it.
That's not even New York. Come on, for the show. People want to see it. For the kids at. Am I right? Yeah. No, send it to him. We got to see it. We got to see it.
Come on, for the show.
People want to see it.
For the kids at home.
Did you send it to Zah?
Did you send it to Zah?
I thought.
I think I did.
No, he's still waiting for it on his email.
Is Frederick Eckert on this list?
No, I don't know who that is.
Jumped off the observation tower.
Only one to ever do it.
Ran past the guards.
Wow.
Yep.
Getting a running start is fire.
You probably landed on the building next door.
What is the building next door?
Non-descript.
Really?
Aren't you supposed to be friends with those buildings?
Do your co-workers?
Neighbors.
Be neighborly.
I might co-work with every building on the planet.
Oh, here's a nice one.
The wild and dark history of the Empire State Building.
Oh, you're going to read about Evelyn McHale, I'm sure.
Let's get into number 50, shall we?
Oh, 50, yep.
From failed suicide attempts to accidental plane crashes.
Wow.
Great.
Number 50.
Where did Corey Lytle crash?
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Where did he crash? I crash? Oh my god. Where did he crash?
I think he hit the building.
There was an old propeller plane that crashed into the Empire.
Certainly that'll never...
We don't have to worry about that.
It's all old news.
History never repeats itself.
Number 50, Avery Zaretsky.
Alright.
Avery!
He's not in the booth, right?
Nah.
Avery, we've had some ups and downs.
Oh, this picture says the most beautiful suicide.
Yeah, Andy Warhol studied that one.
Was it that woman who was on the car?
She left a note, said he's much better off without her.
Sad.
Okay.
Good job, Avery.
Avery Zaretsky. No, he's not here.very Avery's not here
No he's not here
Alright
Do we have the video
Did you send it to
KB
Send it to Zah
I think I did
No you didn't
Send it to Zah
He did
He definitely did
We want to watch it
The people want to watch it
Please
I did
No
Unless I got his email wrong
You definitely didn't
I'm looking at his email right now
Are they incapable
of speaking?
I feel like that could make this whole
process even harder.
So send it to Za?
I did.
Za, what is your email?
Za, Z8.
I confirmed it with KBO on the text.
He sent it to their appropriate email.
Oh, fuck.
I sent it to Za. Oh, no. I sent it to...
Oh, no.
You sent it to Zimbabwe?
I sent it to
at Barastool Sports.
Barastool?
Oh, jeez.
You're just...
All right, we can keep going.
No, I don't think we can.
We have to watch this
because Tyler could have to...
Right, my job is on the line.
Yeah.
Can you make the song
Higher Love
into something about Tyler?
Me and Tyler love.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like that.
Give me a Tyler love.
Oh.
All right, 49.
49, Meat Boss.
Meat Boss.
Meat Boss.
Yeah.
Meat Boss.
That's a drop in the rankings.
Yeah, but he's kind of gone underground recently.
He's recently come back up like a groundhog in February.
But Meat Boss invited me to his butcher shop where he also makes artisan pizzas.
In New Hampshire?
In Portsmouth, New Hampshire.
I wasn't able to make it, but I want to very badly in the future.
He's the only person on this list who's threatened to gouge out someone's eyeballs in my honor.
So it'd be hard to not include him.
Wow, what kind of meat does he butcher?
He does it all?
All thinly sliced meats.
Oh, yes.
If you want it thick, he'll say no.
I don't want it so thin you could see through it.
Yeah, he does paper thin only.
Paper thin.
Really?
That sounds incredible.
I'd like a thick bologna.
Nope.
You won't do it?
You're going to have to take your business off.
Just thick bologna.
Put it on the grill with some barbecue sauce.
I like a thick bologna.
A thick bologna.
You can't do it for me.
A thick bologna and a Chianti.
Yeah, perhaps.
That sounds so disgusting.
A nice thick bologna.
How thick is the bologna?
Why do you have dry tears on your face?
Do I?
Yeah, you have dried tears. I don? Do I? Yeah, you have dried tears.
I don't know.
Those are for you, Tyler.
Yeah, I am torn up about it.
All right, 48.
48, Terri Schiavo.
She's back.
She's back.
In memoriam.
Yeah, she's the only dead person on the list.
Apostumous descent, though.
Is she dead, or is she just... Are we going to react to posthumous descent, though. Is she dead?
Or is she just... Are we going to react to this?
No, no, please.
A posthumous...
All-time yak moment.
All-time yak moment.
No, that was special.
Something I'll never forget.
Nor will we.
That was one of my first yaks.
Really?
Was it?
You were there?
Yes.
I don't remember you doing that.
What did you say?
It was us and Frank.
Yeah?
And Rowan was like, oh, Frank hates vegetables.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I was there.
I beat Nick to that one.
I wasn't here.
That's the only way.
I said it live.
No, we were watching it live, and Nick got off.
He hates right before you started.
I was in a car with him.
Fuck.
Yes, guys.
Zod, do you have it?
My only chance. KB, just send it to him.
I'm so frustrated. No, because it is
so not the Empire State Building.
It's so extremely not the Empire State Building.
The top of the building isn't even shaped like it.
There's like five taller buildings. Can we watch it?
I never watched it. He's looking down on it.
I was on acid when we did it.
Just so people want to see it.
Do it. It is extraordinarily
not the Empire State Building. Send it. I never asked. Do it. It is extraordinarily not the Empire State Public.
Send it.
I never asked.
Send it.
All right.
Please.
I'm sending it now.
It's an LED light on someone else's bedroom.
You stole the remote to a girl's running lights in her dorm.
This is at NYU.
It's embarrassing.
We almost got Tyler O'Day to quit his job.
Yeah, now you have my blood on your hands.
Wow.
Actually, lack thereof.
Make the top of the building red.
All right, give us 47, 46, 45.
46, Gage Teddick, part of the little.
Wait, what about 47?
You skipped 47.
47, sorry, Gage Teddick.
I misread.
Part of Brandon's cabal of little blonde boys that he follows around the office.
He's probably the main one.
A great curl to his hair.
I told him to stop wearing hats.
I know you haven't sent it.
I sent it.
He loves Delta 8, too.
Love my little blonde boys.
I didn't send it, did he?
I want to punch you right now.
You're so annoying.
No, I sent it.
You actually have to eat the McDonald's now.
Yeah, go eat the McDonald's.
Is there another fish?
Driving me nuts.
There's half a fish on the ground over there.
I want a 45-minute-old filet of fish.
Text it to me.
It wasn't fresh fish either.
It's been old.
It's older than 45 minutes.
It's right out of the Hudson.
They fry those on the port.
They batter them live at max.
Yeah.
Number 46 is our old friend Quarantine Horny.
Yeah.
He collected signatures in the financial district of Boston last night.
How many?
14.
That's pretty good.
To swear their adherence to the Empire State Building.
14 people signed?
In Boston.
Allegiance, excuse me.
Yeah, adherence.
They're sticking to it.
14 people.
That might be the most embarrassing amount of people to collect signatures.
All right, Zaz got it.
Put it on the screen.
All right, here's Donnie.
He's got the Empire State Building right
there. Oh, Kyle.
Oh, buddy.
Boom.
And it's blue.
Can you do it again?
Yeah, we're going hot pink.
Look at that.
Oh my god, Kyle.
Did Donnie tell you there was an Empire State Building? Look at that. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's... Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Did Donnie tell you
it was the Empire State Building?
No, I never thought it was.
Boom.
Oh, my God.
And it's blue.
No, no, no.
Can you do it again?
Yep, now we're going hot pink.
Hot pink.
Hot pink.
This is pre-COVID
That is
Yeah that was right before COVID
So you have no excuse
Yep
Kobe was still alive
That was actually a month
Before I moved here
And you sent it to me
You sent me that video
And you said you're gonna
Fucking love this city
Yeah
People loved it
They're gonna love this empire
I mean it's cool still
No it is
It is so cool
Yeah
It's a good party
It's a crazy party trick.
Especially if you're off acid.
Very true.
Very true.
Number 45 is going to come to a shock, as a shock, to people in the know.
But it's the Chipotle Corporation.
Oh, wow.
No.
I disagree with this.
They tried to kill you.
Why?
They tried to kill me.
Yeah, why?
How?
How?
A few months ago, I got food poisoning.
You know, it's actually the thing you ate before that.
Yeah, it's not the last thing you ate.
It's the thing before that.
It would have also been...
You were the one who told me that, Roan.
Sorry.
It's a good part.
Is it true?
It's not the last thing you ate.
It's the thing before the last thing you ate that made you sick.
What if I don't eat before that? There's not the last thing you ate. It's the thing before the last thing you ate that made you sick. What if I don't eat before that?
There's always a last thing you ate.
Yeah, but it could be three days if I take a three-day break.
72 hours to digest for a man.
Or no, for a woman.
55 for a man.
So you owe Chipotle an apology.
I love them.
There's pizza.
Maybe some pizza for Chipotle.
Maybe that would make them feel a little bit better.
I will bring them.
They have a location in the first floor of the Empire State Building.
Oh, so you're just sucking it out.
I will be bringing them a pizza.
So you can be fine.
So you're just kowtowing down to Chipotle.
I'm kowtowing down to a fantastic organization that provides safe and healthy food for millions of Americans.
Safe and healthy?
That tried to kill you.
Not even like good tasting or filling?
Safe and healthy.
That makes it seem like it's not safe and healthy.
Oh, you've got to go to this safe restaurant.
It's not to die for.
You ever been to a Golden Corral?
Those are the most dangerous places on the planet.
They're awesome. First of all, no they're not.
They're fucking wonderful. They have chocolate fountains.
That doesn't sound wonderful. Public chocolate fountains
are disgusting. I know.
They segregated the chocolate fountains.
I saw a roast on Twitter. It was just like a picture
of a guy and someone was like, this guy looks like he
slices the ham at Golden Corral.
And it was like, yeah he does. Don't get it, Golden Corral. And it was like, yeah, he does.
Don't get it, but he does.
I think I'd want to be friends with that guy, though.
Could be on the list.
Maybe he's on the list.
The ham slicer at Golden Corral.
He looked just like one, even though I don't know what that is.
When did you see this?
Was that on Twitter like a week ago?
It doesn't take much imagination to figure out what he looks like.
The ham slicer at Golden Corral. Yeah, I got it. You got it? Twitter like a week ago. It doesn't take much imagination to figure out what he looks like.
The hand slicer at Golden Claw. Yeah, I got it.
You got it?
Number 44 is the clump.
Ah, I love those guys.
The clump has grown.
It now includes Sean McDonald.
The Travises are for the boys of fame.
Barstool Yeti, as he's known on here.
And then Madeline Conroy.
But the clump will be disbanded on Friday.
What? Well, they won't be my clump anymore.
Oh, these are people
who work here. That's right. Yeah, they're my clump.
So they have a shelf life of two days.
Number
43 is everyone's favorite
Jewish Twitter grandmother,
Barstool Bubby.
Okay. But that's not...
She's not a...
Is she a grandmother?
She is.
Is she a real person?
She also may be Taylor Cooper band, but we're not sure.
Got it.
Got it.
Shout out.
Yeah, there's some clear discrepancies.
She does the videos dubbing our voices.
I like those videos.
Yep.
So shout out Barstool Bubby.
Number 42 is Dave Portnoy. Whoa. Wow. Wow. Wow. That videos. Yep. So shout out Barstool Bubby. Number 42 is Dave Portnoy.
Whoa.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Did that have anything to do with your appearance on the show?
No.
So what?
Yeah.
Dave 42.
He gave you a life.
Kind of bullied you, though.
It's more important than your own mother.
What do you mean?
We haven't got.
He gave you a life.
I think my mother gave me a life.
Would you be going to the Empire State Building if it wasn't for Dave Portnoy?
Oh, good question, Brandon.
That's a tough, who knows?
No.
Probably not.
The answer is no, probably.
So you, I mean, like, I don't think you understand it, but like, once you work here, you owe
everything that ever comes after that to Dave Portnoy.
It's true.
I should give him residuals for my paychecks. Yeahday port. It's true. I should give him residuals
for my paychecks.
Okay, continue.
What was he last time? Sorry to interrupt.
He's been top five before, hasn't he?
No, never cracked the top five.
This is the first time we've done this
since May.
There's been a lot of life.
A lot of civil unrest.
Yes, in this office.
Number 41 is Ed Norton's pussy.
Oh!
I like that guy.
He's funny.
He's goaded.
He's very funny.
And wait, what is...
Is his a boy pussy or a butt pussy?
It's a butt pussy.
It's a butt pussy.
Butt pussy.
And a boy pussy.
Yeah, I forgot.
It is both.
It's both.
It's both.
He promised to send me a biking shirt that said Ed Norton's Bussy Brigade on it,
and that never happened.
So that hurt him a lot.
But he still made it.
Still on the list.
Yeah.
I gave him the address to this office, so I'm never going to get it.
Why?
Oh, it's public.
It's public.
If you search Barstool Sports on Google Maps.
Oh, my Christ.
Don't say that.
We know where your office is too now
we're gonna leak it uh number 40 are my parents okay good for them they're they're at the beach
seems like a pander pick does yeah it is number 49 is cody lance's younger sister, Madison Lance. Number what? 39. So that would be 38.
Oh, is Florentine on the list?
He's here.
Oh, thank God.
I was worried I wasn't going to get to see him before I was out of here.
I haven't seen him since the picture.
You know what Florentine never did to us?
He never left us.
Just left on red.
Yeah, his wave got left on red.
I haven't seen him since the summer party.
We had him on the podcast. We had him on the act.
Just here two weeks ago.
With his low-ass voice.
Wonderful man. He's never going to fucking leave us.
That dude loves pussy.
He actually does. He loves pussy.
He gave Sass a great pussy forecast.
There's going to be fucking nines in no time.
In Des Moines, Iowa.
Des Moines.
So, shout out to the bus.
Shout out to Madison Land.
Madison Land.
Number 38 is Lauren and Colby Sears.
They recently got married.
I was at their wedding this past weekend.
A lot of double ups.
Yeah, it's my list.
That's smart, though.
Sure, yeah.
They're smart.
They're great people. Congratulations to them. Congratulations to the Roebuck family. Yeah, congrats. Do you They're smart. They're great people.
Congratulations to them.
Congratulations to the Roebuck family.
Do you think it'll last?
Absolutely.
No doubt whatsoever?
Guaranteed, 100%, put your life on the line.
They will not get divorced.
Correct.
If they get divorced, you have to quit your job.
Yes.
Or you have to join.
Or you get their unfaithful, even if there's infidelity.
I don't think either of them
Will ever be unfaithful
What's their names?
Lauren and Colby Sears
The gauntlet has been thrown
Kyle
Go fuck that man
Oh Lauren Sears
She hit me up
Saying she wants
She wants my cock
She did say that
That's right
I was trying to place it
So in the three days That she got married And her name changed, she's done that already.
She was like, I want to gobble that cock.
Jesus Christ.
Aren't you married?
That does sound like something Lauren would say.
That's crazy.
It took me a second to remember.
It's funny how things just click like that.
I tried to do that as a nice shout out to them, and I think that backfired.
Yeah, no, they'll be broken up in no time, and you'll be back here.
You'll be back.
Great.
Number 37.
Lauren, if you're watching, just know any of us will fuck you.
It's not personal.
It's for Tyler.
We want our boy back.
Bring our boys home.
I'll be thinking of you the whole time, Tyler.
Is that different from normal? No. Bring our boys home. I'll be thinking of you the whole time, Tyler. Is that different from normal?
No.
It really isn't.
It definitely isn't.
Number 37 is my friend from the great state of Utah, Luke Cranmer.
Cranmer.
Cranmer.
Cranmer.
Cranmer.
Cranmer.
Cranmer.
Cranmer.
Got it.
I like him.
Cranmer.
Luke Cranmer.
He, yeah, good guy.
Wow.
Sounds like he's done a lot.
Yeah.
From Utah.
He's above your parents, Luke.
He's above your parents.
He's a good guy.
I don't know why I just snapped like I was in a jazz club.
Number 36, my good friend who just started working for the CAA out of Los Angeles, Justin Edwards.
Congratulations, Justin Edwards. Congratulations, Justin Edwards.
He's the type of friend who you could just call and say, how's it going?
That's a friend.
Yep.
Yep.
Number 35, the High Priestess of rural Georgia, Judge Jen Webb.
There she is.
Welcome back, Jen.
The High Priestess.
Vote for Jen Webb. Vote for Jen Webb Vote for Jen Webb
Now will she be coming
To the Empire State Building
I would love to host her
And her family
Isn't she homegirls
With Marjorie Taylor Greene
I do not think so
She doesn't know
Miss Taylor Greene
That's who appointed her
No
As a judge
No
Judge Webb was
Duly elected
By the great people
Of Georgia
If Judge Webb makes it
to the Supreme Court, you have to come back to Barstool.
Fine.
Alright. Could I work at
Barstool and clerk for her at the Supreme Court?
No. Someone keep a track of all
of these caveats.
There's a lot. These are long-term things.
You might have to come back in
10 years. But actually, not really.
Lauren's going to suck my cock
she will
poor girl
she's probably on her honeymoon
she is right now
she's in Mexico
well okay
number 34
maybe the hottest man in show business right now, Jeff D'Lo.
Oh, 34.
Yeah.
Wow.
Which I think is a pretty lateral.
If Jeff D'Lo gets the Jeopardy gig, you come back.
Oh, for sure.
That's a promise.
Honestly, I'm going to make one of these for every single person you mention now.
All right.
Our boy JDM from the social team is at number 33.
All right.
Josh.
Josh.
Okay.
What's his?
If he goes to Carbone this week,
you have to come back.
Okay.
If he just gets Carbone,
even if it's delivery Carbone.
Number 32.
If he has a beer on his balcony,
you have to come back.
With a cigar.
With a cigar.
Double dog raging bitch IPA.
Double fucking raging bitch 12% IPA.
If he unicorns with large, you have to come back.
Who's that?
What was this?
That's me.
Whoa.
Who the fuck is that guy?
They just pulled up something for a second.
That guy doesn't look like Tyler.
My shorts look obscene.
We're a heavy thigh podcast. You look like you need to hit the spotene. Well, you're a heavy thigh podcast.
Well, it looks like, I mean, you look like you need to hit the spot rack.
I know, it does.
It actually is leg day today, believe it or not.
Number 32.
I don't.
It is.
Yeah, you said believe it or not.
I said I don't.
Well, believe it because it's happening.
Okay.
Number 32.
He has been tailgating at Citi Field for this for the past two days, Ben Mintz.
Ben Mintz.
Yeah.
He's, I mean, Ben's great.
He's a brother in running.
He's a brother in being a deadhead.
Where were you at Citi Field?
I was at the wedding.
The one that's getting broken up into the cop seconds?
The Sears.
I'm going to see them in Hartford, which will be cool.
A little homecoming show for Johnny Mayer.
Love it. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. The Sears. I'm going to see them in Hartford, which will be cool. A little homecoming show for Johnny Mayer. Love it.
Love it.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
The pride of Fairfield, Connecticut.
31, Bed Gang.
Shout out TJ, who's a member if he's still lurking.
He's not.
Bed Gang.
If TJ comes back in the booth at any point, you have to stay here.
Sure.
Okay.
Nope.
TJ, come back.
He actually is meant to be coming back so you have to stay here
he's coming back because I got a lead for Boston
TJ's coming back
number 30 Spider
well deserved
he should be higher
Spider the Oreo
yeah he should be
Spider the Oreo
Spider the Oreo
the Oreo Spider the Oreo Diorio. Yeah, he should be, honestly. Dan Diorio. Spider Diorio.
Diorio.
Diorio.
Diorio.
Yeah.
Spider Diorio.
Diorio.
Diorio.
Diorio.
Number 29 is the... He's got a black cock.
Yeah, that's why.
Number 29 is the entirety of UMass Twitter.
They...
That seems like you didn't...
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a.
This could run into some problems, I think.
Why?
Is that a cop out?
We could find someone that's problematic.
Somebody in UMass Twitter said some things along the way.
I don't think so.
It's a pretty great group of folks.
And we self-police, which is nice.
UMass is a very.
It's community policing.
It's a very big public university, right?
Who else went to Zoom Mass?
Did Devlin?
He did.
So did Pat McAuliffe.
Coley.
Lou Rowe.
Cody Lanza.
Marcus Camby.
Didn't Devlin Swattson?
On Twitter?
Yeah, but Devlin's not a part of UMass Twitter.
Got it.
Just being from UMass and being on Twitter doesn't make you part of UMass Twitter.
You've got to be actively rooting.
You've got to be in the mud talking about our recruits for football in March.
Do you have recruits?
Oh, of course.
Look out.
We open week one versus Pitt.
We're going to blow the city of Pittsburgh off the map.
I don't think so.
Yes, yes.
I agree with that as well.
What are you, Bane?
Yes.
Who was your starting quarterback in 2017?
I think it was Blake Frohnafel.
What about 18?
Andrew Ford.
16?
I don't know.
You're losing me.
Was it the guy from West Virginia?
No one gave a fuck about season 16.
Oh, actually, I think Ross Comas.
Oh, yeah, Ross Comas.
Season 16, bro.
You really think about season 16?
I didn't know that.
I've lived in the past, bro.
It was a good year.
Number 28 is Tyler Wise.
He rocks.
He does.
He does.
Shitty name.
I haven't seen him
in a little bit.
Tyler Wise?
Yeah.
Say shitty name.
Tyler?
Brandon did, yeah.
Brandon did say that.
I didn't say that at all.
Say shitty name.
Yes, you did.
That wasn't me.
I heard you.
I didn't say that.
Everyone heard you say it, Brandon.
You just said it. Nick said it. It wasn't me. No. I think you did. That wasn't me. I heard you. I didn't say that. Everyone heard you say it, Brandon. You just said it.
Nick said it. It wasn't me. No.
I think you're trying to gaslight us.
Did I say that?
Those are Burger King fries. You don't want those. Burger King fries are better than McDonald fries. No, they're not.
No, they aren't. They're thicker.
They're absolutely not. No, they aren't.
Number 27, my hometown boys, the Dick Bandits.
Yeah. Yes, sir. They're great.
They've been having a lot of success recently
getting engaged, new jobs,
houses, wives, etc.
Any marriages we can break up?
No, none of them are married yet.
My boy Dan over there is horny as fuck.
I'll fuck them all.
Nick and Dan double teaming
Lauren would be
the Sears Tower, by the way.
Oh!
A little rival tower.
We got to make it happen.
I hope you like that margarita in Cancun, Lauren.
Viva.
What was his name?
Colby?
Viva.
How mad is your friend going to be when he hears this?
Her husband?
I mean, thank God the wedding already happened.
Yeah.
Because I think I would have been pulled out.
You were in it?
I was a groomsman.
Wow.
And you've done this level of betrayal?
Well, I thought I was doing something nice, but that has clearly been spoiled.
You know us.
We can't have nice things on this show.
Great.
Sorry, brother.
I want to come number 26 uh my good friend connor walsh uh he's been on a weight loss journey recently how much has he lost at least 40
is he still fat no i love when people lose 40 pounds and it's indistinguishable.
Bro, you're so fat.
Just as fat looking.
I was actually watching videos, like the first O'Daniacs back in February.
And again, you know, I'll never consider myself in my present state thin, but I was thick back in February.
Yeah.
Thick.
Now you're thin.
Now you're thin.
Thinner.
Thinner.
Hey, shout out Connor.
Keep losing that weight. Connor, keep being a thin bastard, will you?
People are like,
was it a haircut?
You got a new haircut?
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I lost 40 pounds.
Like, multiple people
struggle to carry that for a walk.
And you didn't notice?
40 pounds.
Number 25 is the intrepid staff at the Chelsea Just Salad.
Yes, sir.
They've been very good to me here,
and I will not be frequenting their establishment anymore.
You're not that far away.
Tyler.
The one right here?
They've been mean.
Wait, we're in Chelsea?
They're mean as fuck.
Tyler, I will admit your salad has been full this whole time.
Thank you.
The bowl has never been empty.
Can we keep your bowl?
We're getting shelving in here. Can we have your bowl? We're getting shelving in here.
Can we have your bowl?
Yeah, as in memoriam, you can put a candle in it.
So are you going to go say goodbye to them?
I don't want to ruin their week like that.
You're not good at goodbyes either.
No, I'm not.
This one sucks.
Again, you're five streets up and two avenues over.
Yeah.
Look at you, Mr. New York.
Is that right?
Damn.
Hey, I'm Brandon Walken here.
Viva.
Viva.
Viva.
Viva.
All right.
Number 24, the Car Fox from the Car Fax commercials.
Yep.
Love that guy.
What about the general, though?
Fuck.
No, the general said on Twitter once that he was going to fuck my mother.
Really?
Did he? No.. Really? Yes.
And did he?
No.
And did he?
No.
Kirk does his social.
That's good.
Number 23, the yak.
Oh, hey.
You did it, boy.
Now this is bullshit.
Thank you, Tyler.
Now this is bullshit.
I just got chilled.
There could still be individual placements ahead of that.
Okay, but you can't just be like, the yak.
Wait, is Brandon Walker in that group? In the yak? Yeah. Yeah, of course. There could still be individual placements ahead of that. Okay, but you can't just be like the yak. Wait, is Brandon Walker in that group?
In the yak?
Yeah.
Yeah, of course.
Is he still fat?
Remember when you tried to lose weight?
That was funny.
I lost 20 pounds.
Yeah, you look thin.
You came back 30.
No, I'm bigger than I was when I started.
No, you're not.
Really?
No, that's horseshit.
I don't know how bad you still look.
It went to different locations, though.
You look good.
I'm good.
I'm fine.
We're weighing in stone now.
Keep the beard.
Number 22 is the lovely Jen Simons.
That's her
first
appearance on the list.
Why now?
She's just always been
tremendous to work with.
She's great. I wanted to recognize that
in a public sphere.
She deserves more recognition. She's the best. She's great, and I wanted to recognize that in a public sphere. Yes, she deserves more recognition. Wow, that's incredible.
To Miss Simons.
To Miss Simons. Thank you, Jen.
Viva.
Number 21, Dukes.
Pretty self-explanatory.
Kevin McDougal. So the yak is behind
Dukes.
Dukes. Really?
Dukes, the guy who almost brought the whole company down.
He's been suspended multiple times.
He wasn't suspended multiple times.
Oh, yeah.
Multiple days.
Multiple times.
Multiple days.
We were 23?
Yeah.
So Jordan, the Fresno State of your rank.
Not a bad place to be.
Go Bulldogs.
They seem like a low top 25 team.
Yeah, it's been a while for Fresno. Indiana this a low top 25 team. UL Lafayette.
Yeah, it's been a while for Fresno.
Indiana this year or something like that.
UL Lafayette, somewhere in there.
Number 20 is Tevo.
Tevo.
Tevo.
Tevo.
Tevo.
Yeah, no, not the Tevo who works here.
The hopper.
Archaic.
Yeah, the hopper.
So did...
No, Tevo Tevin.
Huh?
He's been on the rankings before.
Correct.
Is this a drop since his Dana do the beer tweet video?
It may be a slide for him.
I'm not really sure.
And you can accredit it to that video.
We really need to get more of that going.
Yeah.
Of just guys –
Being dudes?
Yeah.
Doing the beer tweet?
What is his – How did he earn the ranking? Or what has separated him? It was just guys. Being dudes? Yeah. Doing the beer tweet?
What is his, how did he earn the ranking?
Or what has separated him?
What has he been doing well to get him that spot coveted above McDuke's? This weekend he was in Las Vegas on a personal trip.
Say no more.
And I woke up in my hotel room at the Sears wedding.
Oh, laughing?
Yeah.
At 6.30, because my phone had 10 messages on it.
It said, Tyler, I love you, I love you, you are great.
And then great was spelled out in individual letters.
Like most words.
Yeah.
Like each text was an individual letter
and then he said friend
and that cacophony of text messages
woke me up but it was a very sweet sentiment
from 3.30 in the morning in Las Vegas
no pander he had no idea that you were doing
this list today
Kyle are you going to brunch with 20 girls on Saturday
what yes he is
would you think it would be
inappropriate of me
to follow Lauren on Instagram?
What is her name?
Follow back.
The Sears Tower.
The Sears Tower.
Accept the request.
Inappropriate.
No.
What you do with that access
could very well wind up being...
Well, Tyler,
he's going to ravage your pussy.
No, that would be fine.
Oh, no. Oh, boy.
Oh, no.
Oh, I found her.
Oh, no.
She's got a little wild streak in her heart.
Hallelujah every day.
That's not her.
Keep your life sparkling and glass full.
That's not her.
A big packed life.
You can't identify anything, can you?
I found another.
I miss you, Virginia Tech.
Delt again.
All right, so what's next?
Oh, God.
What?
I got an email from my boss at the Empire State Building, so I was terrified.
What did it say?
We're fine.
Call me?
No.
Is it true about Nick and Dan doing the Sears?
Tell me it's not true.
Number 19.
Wait, oh, she's using her maiden name still.
No, she's not.
No, she's not.
You're on the wrong page.
Are you trying to change the color of her profile too?
Seriously.
Roasted.
You got him.
Number 19.
It's our girl.
Sydney!
Sydney Bunchat.
One last time. I've been on the edge of my seat for her.
Fresh from surgery?
Well, yeah.
Her throat's fine now.
All right.
Bet.
She recently moved into a luxury tower.
Not the Sears or the Eiffel.
In New York City.
It has a pool, which I will be dipping into on Saturday.
Excellent.
If anyone's around.
Thank you.
Open invite?
Sure.
Open invite.
Everyone who's watching as well, feel free to come swim.
Deal.
But yeah, she's goaded.
A ray of light.
Anthro.
Goaded and throw it at you, right?
Number 18 is Sam Raycraft, who I always get his biography wrong,
so I want to make sure I get it.
From Arizona.
Yeah, he's from Arizona, but I always get it.
I know way too many random people from here.
Goldfinger.
He does outside sales
for Miracle Method
which transforms
your kitchen and bathtub
in just two to three days.
You know what?
Yeah.
I feel like it's
Mr. Roy's
into a primordial
What the fuck?
Where's my bathroom?
What the fuck?
Here's a foyer.
That's a good point.
It doesn't say on their Twitter what they turn it into.
They just transform it.
Hire them and just hope for the best.
But I met him when he was the viceroy at Loyola Marymount University,
which, as I'm sure you can imagine, is a powerhouse of a page.
He's great.
He's wonderful.
Number 17 is a fellow Central Massachusetts native, C.J. Slavin.
Slavin?
Yeah, Slavin.
Slavin.
Dr. Frankman, is that what his name is from The Simpsons?
He would say Slavin in a fun way.
That's just an observation I have.
Fink, Professor Fink.
Fink?
Frank.
Nick, Dr. Nick.
Oh, I hit myself in the face.
Number 16, Ella Briscoe, formerly under Lane Kiffin's tutelage,
but now she's back.
She sounds hot.
That's a hot name.
She used to work here. She did.
Didn't know that.
She could still be hot.
Yeah, I guess.
I don't know what to say to that.
You're going to just have to live with it.
Just fart less.
You're just so red right now.
I don't know why you're so red.
Now I realize who it is.
And?
What?
Do you stand by what you said?
She's not hot anymore?
No, I don't realize who it is.
I don't know.
So I'll look it up after this.
Number 15, great producer here, great friend.
He likes the talking heads, Colin Cooper.
Yes.
Great guy.
Shout out, Colin.
Number one guy.
Shout out, Colin. Lowering. Shout out Colin. Number one guy. Shout out Colin.
Lowering the bar.
Alabama boy. Rediscovering America,
right? Pilot. Does all the
episodes, right? Nice. Or you kicked him off.
He kicked him off.
He got fired. Number 14,
Derek Schumann. He's stepping
heavily into my role as I depart,
and he's been a tremendous partner in that
journey. Penn State. He was here today.
Moving to New York?
Eventually, yeah. Okay, got it.
Shout out to Eric.
Number 13, Zach Macario.
Great. Another little
blonde boy.
How little?
The smallest of the blonde boys.
And how blonde? The least of them
all.
I'd like Nick to make a X-Y axis.
Yeah, I could do that.
Little blonde boy.
Who is the apex of the little blonde boys?
Oh, it's Gage.
It's Gage.
The apex?
Yeah, Gage.
Well, no.
Gage's hair is the blonde.
No, because it's not.
It's the top.
No, it's Cody. The Y axis is height, but it's tallest is the top. No, because the small one is the top. Okay. No, it's Cody.
The Y-axis is height, but it's tallest to littlest.
Right.
And the X-axis is...
Is least blonde to most blonde.
So it might be Cody.
Yeah, Cody.
He's the shortest and blondest.
Cody would sit the farthest upright.
Yes.
Yeah, he's the smallest and blondest.
And then Gage would be in the middle.
I think the little blonde boys was just Brandon.
Yes.
It was a group of younger kids.
Brandon just didn't know any of their names.
I know all of them.
Cody, Gage, and the other one.
And Sean, too.
Little Blonde Boys.
Remember Sean Gross?
When he was blonde, he was a lavender man.
He wasn't little or blonde.
He was a rainbow.
He was very tall.
It was only three.
But the first time that he said Little blonde boys, he was referencing him.
He was referencing him.
Was Sean Gross bleached at the time?
Yes.
Was he?
He was, yes.
No, I don't think I was.
His hair.
Was his hair bleached?
No, because I was referring to Gage because Gage took my laptop down to the...
Gage didn't even work here at that time when you first said it.
Yes, he did.
Good sitting.
No, he didn't.
Gage is the original blonde boy because he took my...
Gage is not the original blonde.
He took my laptop
to the Apple store
Zach and Sean
were the first two
and they both had
bleached hair together
but Gage is the one
no
Gage was hired way after
yeah Gage started
like six months ago
no
they were all here
you don't know who Gage is
Gage started way later
Gage is the curly haired one
yes
handsome as all hell
good looking guy
handsome as all get up
he's strung out
get out delta 8 though he's's strung out on that Delta 8, though.
He's always strung out on Delta 8.
It is a sit down about that Delta 8.
What's Steven doing?
Are we okay, Steve?
We're good.
Nate doesn't have to do cracking aces.
We're good.
Are we okay?
We're good.
I reserve the room until 2.30 every day.
Love it.
Number 12, Eric Nardini.
Yeah.
Good job.
Nardini.
Shout-outs to E.
Yep, shout-outs to E.
It was a big up.
It's been a pleasure.
Sheeva.
Number 11 is Enrique Cavazos.
Sheeva actually plays.
Enrique.
Enrique is the best.
Not here. He's here today. He's probably upstairs. He's been sitting upstairs a lot. You going. Enrique is the best. Not here.
He's here today.
He's probably upstairs.
He's been sitting upstairs a lot.
You going to his party Friday?
Yeah, I'll be there.
Wait, what?
I'll be there.
Enrique's having a party Friday.
On Twitch stream?
It's his birthday.
Let's not talk parties if we weren't all invited to them.
We were all invited if you follow him on Instagram.
It was on his story.
And he said, DM me for deets.
And so I fucking did.
And it's at the miss bun shafts rooftop pool
i'm pretty sure lagoon it's the same it's a crossover party invited to this do you follow
enrique does but well it's honest well yeah whatever number story number 10 jack mccarthy
the okay nice former roommate we lived together for a year and a half. He's always been great.
So what went wrong there?
I got an offer I couldn't refuse.
Nothing went wrong.
You seem to do that a lot.
Yeah.
You just suck at refusing offers.
Every offer is unrefusable to you.
Kinda.
Number nine is the nominee for the ambassador to Ireland, Claire Cronin.
Of course. Claire. Sancho. Number nine is the nominee for the ambassador to Ireland, Claire Cronin.
Of course.
Claire.
Sancho.
Before she was nominated to be the ambassador,
she let me use the Wi-Fi at her house last summer when I was working remotely on the Cape.
How many freckles are on her face?
Let's play a game like guess the amount of jelly beans in this jar.
I don't think she has many freckles.
49.
You're not looking close.
112.
I think it's closer to 12 than it is 49.
Now, give me your phone so I can look at her Instagram.
I don't follow.
You don't follow her.
She's the ambassador to Ireland.
She's a nominee to be the ambassador.
A nominee, yeah.
All right, hold on.
She awaits Senate confirmation.
How long does that process take?
I'm not really sure.
Could be years.
No, I don't.
Well, yeah, I mean, if they hold up the ambassador to Ireland, but I don't think so.
We get along pretty well.
Any pedophilia in her background?
Nope.
Any sexual problems?
Nope.
I'd rather not discuss that.
Did you do sex?
She's going to have to.
She has no freckles.
None.
You found her?
This is bullshit.
She's black Irish.
You're not looking in the right spots.
Shoulders.
Oh, you're talking about pussy freckles?
No, no, no, no.
Moving on.
Absolutely not.
A little PF.
A little PF Chang.
Nope.
PF Chang.
For fuck's sake.
Oh, God damn.
You're reading bread.
Fuck.
Your tongue.
Jesus Christ.
Jesus.
What the hell?
Number eight.
Ellen Kelly reading braille with her tongue.
1965 Patriots coach Mike Holovac.
They went 4-8-1.
What year?
1965.
Mike Holovac?
Do you know him?
They played at Fenway Park.
Only 13 games.
You just threw him on there.
No, I think he represents a good team.
I had a TiVo. He's ahead of your parents. I had a pussy freckles. You just threw him on there. No, I think he represents a good team. Ahead of Tevo.
He's ahead of your parents.
Ahead of Pussy Freckles.
I'm going to fucking leave.
You are leaving.
How many Pussy Freckles did this coach have?
Yeah, I mean, honestly.
Name a number.
It's not high enough.
Number seven is Gaz.
Gaz.
Gaz.
Gaz.
Gaz.
Number seven is Gaz. He gave me. Gaz. Number seven is Gaz.
He gave me my second chance here, and my first chance here, for that matter.
Wow.
He didn't really go to bat for you, though, when everything, when the shit hit the fan.
You don't know what happened behind closed doors.
Wow.
Well, publicly, it doesn't look like he did.
He offered you, what, $2 million to stay?
And you said no.
Yeah, I said that was kind of a low ball.
Exactly.
He didn't go to bat for you.
What number would you say for?
I said on the rundown, quarter million, four albums per year with wide distribution.
You can't.
I mean, the distribution kind of takes care of itself.
What do you mean wide distribution?
Paola, as they used to do back in the 60s.
We can make that happen. Can you keep up the workload?
We can make that happen. Can you produce up the workload? We can make that happen.
Can you produce four albums a year?
Brendan, I could do four a day.
I don't think you could.
Try me.
I definitely think you could.
How would I try?
Try.
Bring me.
Fun fact, the Empire State Building Spire does radio and television waves,
so who knows what little ditties I can do for those beams.
Beams?
Fucking beams. Radio waves? Radio waves those beams. Beams? Fucking beams.
Yeah, radio waves.
Radio waves, beams.
Beams?
Beams.
Lazy motherfucker.
Number six, Brian Fitzsimmons.
The beam that that guy jumped?
Hell yes.
Yeah, much like that.
Fitzsimmons.
That actually deserves a beam.
Here, here.
Fitzsimmons.
Here, here.
We love Fitzsimmons.
The best.
We love Fitzsimmons.
He's great
He's been an awesome partner
In the programming department
Mr. Walker don't worry
You were worried
I didn't say it
Partner doesn't
Whatever
Brandon was
You had paws on the tongue
Number five is my Only brother, Max O'Day.
Hey, Max.
What did you do to the other one?
I have two half brothers.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
You couldn't combine them and put them in one spot here?
I mean, that would make two brothers.
Why didn't you have brothers you're not close with them?
Yeah.
I mean, they're 10 years older than I am
Oh
Both of them
I mean you have a 1964
Patriots coach on there
Yeah
Who has no pussy freckles
Yeah
No I said he had a ton
Oh okay
Well your half brothers
So
Not close with them
No I mean
Yeah I mean
No
Just say it on the record
It would be a lie to say
That we're super close
So your parents We're in the 40s.
Your brother's five.
Your half-brothers don't make the list at all.
Should we get Enrique in here?
For what purpose?
About this party.
Oh.
Yeah, it's kind of about the party now.
Okay.
Yeah, we don't have to do the top four.
No, come on.
Let's go.
Let's go.
I thought it was going to be like intermission before the top four,
and then we would really launch into them.
Number four, the Empire State Building.
Boo.
Boo.
Ricketts.
I knew that one would cut deep.
Boo.
You got to know where your bread is buttered.
It was buttered here.
Very well so.
A lot of butter.
Four albums.
It was soaking in butter. Like my so. A lot of butter. Four albums. It was soaking in butter.
Like my house.
Well, never mind.
Number three, Big Cat.
I don't want it.
Give it back.
Give it back to what?
Give it back.
All right.
Nope.
Back in.
All right.
Shit.
Damn.
Okay.
I appreciate that
but I beat out
the Empire State Building
you did
no
I am an Odaniac
and I'll stay an Odaniac
no on a
on a quasi sentimental note
thank you
thank you very much
for this opportunity
over the past six months
it's been a lot of fun
dude just tried to
fucking say feelings to me
that was lame
Alright, nevermind
No, no, keep going
No, I retract
No, no, no, no, finish the feelings
No, I retract
I retract also
I was liking the feelings
I liked the feelings
I retracted
Can you finish?
I'm now, can you?
No
Viva
Viva
Viva
Viva
Viva
Tyler's back, baby
Thank you, Tyler.
I appreciate it.
I do not take my odaniac standing lightly.
Seriously, I don't.
Was that pseudo-serious?
It's for forever.
Was that quasi-pseudo-serious?
That was as serious as I get.
That was quasi.
Also, I can't wait to fuck your fucking friend's wife.
Hard.
You keep forgetting to say how hard.
Really hard.
Okay.
Number two is Cody Lanza.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And not to be confused with?
Adam.
Yep.
Lambert.
Lambert.
Who's best known for his?
Phenomenal skills at the game Dance Dance Revolution.
Jesus Christ.
And number one.
Oh, fuck.
So, number one.
Wait, wait, wait.
Is this going to be a surprise or do we know?
I think we know.
Anyone who's ever been paying attention.
On this side, we can just read the paper.
Yeah, I knew the whole list.
Yeah, well, you're wondering I are going to get you in trouble someday.
You shouldn't have printed it in such bright colors.
I know.
Oh, I'm sorry, Brandon, that my muted palette isn't good enough for you, okay?
The top three are huge.
They pick up half the paper.
Well, they need notoriety.
That's right.
Jeez, you think I'm going to put Big Cat in size 12 font?
It doesn't work that way.
No, it doesn't.
The keys don't even work.
Nope.
Number one is the cheapies.
Cheapies.
Shout out Big Tasty.
That's beautiful.
Yeah.
You couldn't make any Barstool employee number one on your way out the door?
I am a cheapie.
Yeah, I mean, it's kind of all-encompassing.
Have you ever told a stranger I love you?
Yeah.
Have you?
You're a cheapie then.
You're a cheapie.
Oh, good.
Congratulations to the cheapies.
Yes.
Congratulations.
Tyler, thank you.
I just did something for you that you don't even realize.
Sweet Jesus.
I did.
Does it involve?
You DM'd his friend, the girl?
No.
Oh.
I added Tyler to the Yak Group text message.
Whoa.
Wow. And guess what we don't kick anyone out because we have dana it's too big now colby donnie's in there donnie's in there yes donnie's
in there caleb's still in there is that frequently used oh yeah all day every day every day yeah i uh
you made oh i just saw somebody who said the Empire State Building was like the worst time they've ever spent.
No joke.
At the Pizza Review.
And he tweeted.
He has a picture from the Empire State.
He came to the pizza thing.
He's like, in terms of tourist things and seeing people, no bigger waste of time than the Empire State Building.
Wait, tell him his ranking.
Tell him his ranking. Tell him his ranking.
You need your ranking.
No, you got ranked.
You're 42.
42.
Ouch.
Ouch.
Terrifying.
You actually jumped.
I wish there was a camera on me.
I'm going out the same way I went in.
Dave Portnoy wants me dead.
He'll be back.
It's kind of full circle.
No, you'll be back.
As soon as the Sears marriage ends.
Colby Sears is going to be crashing on your couch for a little bit.
Might need to pick up another job.
Why do I have to pay for him?
Well, you ruined his marriage.
You basically dared me to fuck his wife.
I didn't do anything of the sort.
All right.
Well, yeah, from the Yak, you're our number one O'Day.
Yeah.
You're our number one O'Day.
Can we just say that?
Of your entire family, even.
You are our top O'Day, and we've enjoyed every second of it.
JDM gliding after that ranking.
Floating across the hall.
My boy's about to crack 18% IPA.
Transcend ABV.
He's in the stew.
So Tyler, thank you.
Thank you.
We'll miss you.
Miss him bad.
Appreciate everything you've done for us,
which I don't even know what that is.
A lot.
Content.
Content.
Most times people say it's not goodbye.
I'd see you later.
But this is definitely goodbye.
Never going to see you again in my life.
Ever.
Oh, because you're not here tomorrow, right?
I'm here tomorrow.
Tyler.
Hi.
Donnie's here.
Donnie's here.
You weren't on the O'Daniac list.
Yeah.
And Donnie, unlike you.
Give him a seat.
Thank you, Brandon. Donnie, unlike you. Give him a seat. Thank you, Brandon.
Donnie, unlike you, Tyler, will bleed for this company
because he's probably going to get his ass kicked.
I have full faith in Donnie to win.
Thank you, Tyler.
Tune in Rough and Rowdy Friday night.
Now, I've told Donnie this, and I'll say it again.
You go down the list, everyone who's fought from Barstool in rough and rowdy and lost no longer works for this company.
No pressure.
Tex.
No pressure.
$20 chef.
Matt Brown.
Yeah.
Wow.
KB and I found a way to lose.
We did.
We were the ultimate losers.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm not worried.
I mean, it's the level.
This kid is strong.
Everyone knows that.
Everyone's seen what he looks like.
And that seems to be your biggest thing is like he's fucking jacked.
No, I actually don't even know who you're fighting.
You've seen pictures.
It's Glamour Muscles.
Oh, Popcorn Muscles?
Oh, we got this.
I'm rooting for you.
I know, I know, but you're giving me all this.
I'm letting you know.
I think it would be wrong of me not to point out to you what's at stake.
I agree.
Because like I said, I don't even think, it's not like you get fired if you lose,
but it will be so awkward to face all of us every single day afterwards that you'd have to quit.
Right.
This kid, the only way I lose is he'd have to take a baseball bat and beat me until I'm unconscious for me not to win this fight.
Are you saying that he should break it?
He's got to take it to a level of crazy that he can't get to this this fight is going to be there's no
chance that he gets there why are you that confident what makes you so confident you love
pain i'm just confident in the fact that like i i know that when i get punched in the face if he
lands something it's going to be like oh nice let's keep going let's go i don't know if he's
going to be able to take what i'm going to throw at him i can take anything he gets you do have
crazy you have crazy on your side.
And zero fear of death, which is – that's a good way to win a fight,
and that's a scary person to fight against, someone who's not, like, worried about dying.
Throwing knives.
Do you love playing that knife game?
Yeah, you like knife toss.
You're like Rambo.
He's like William Lloyd Rambo, the guy that ex-military jumped off the 63rd floor of the Empire State.
Oh.
It'll be good.
Tune in.
When are you flying out?
Fly out tomorrow morning.
Love it.
And you've been training like three times a day?
Yeah, so I didn't really make it that public
because I didn't want him to know how hard I was.
I just said Billy was my trainer.
That's a good way to promote a fight.
We've been going.
Well, no.
I'm kidding.
I've been saying Billy football's been training me,
which has been a lot. I've been training twice a day, every day, with two guys that I'm training against. This has been saying Billy Football's been training me, which has been a lot.
I've been training twice a day, every day with two guys.
This has been ongoing for over a month.
Like a month ago, you wouldn't even go out for one beer.
You would not have one drink with us.
I'm excited.
It's going to be awesome.
It wouldn't make any difference.
Pac-Man Jones and Bobby Lang will be on PMT on Friday.
Oh, nice. Everyone tune in. Rowan and will be on PMT on Friday. Oh, nice.
So everyone tune in.
Rowan and I will be flying down on Friday.
We'll be there.
Whole squad.
It's going to be great.
It'll be fun.
The whole squad.
And when I say whole squad, everybody that's involved.
Rowan will be there.
Sass.
Tyler.
Sass and I are going to go.
Yeah.
Just like on our own dime.
Oh, I like it.
We're driving out there. Nice. That'll be dope, too. He like on our own dime. Oh, I like it. We're driving out there.
Nice.
That'll be dope, too.
He's never been to one.
Best sporting event in all of sports.
Are you guys in tomorrow?
Yes.
Ron?
Yeah.
I'm here.
Follow-up?
No, I just was curious.
He's making excuses in his head for something else.
Yeah.
And I thought Ron wasn't going to be in.
It's not like a very big deal.
You can move on.
No, it was good that we used some precious air time.
I just asked, and then you guys got completely silent.
What's going on?
Nothing.
Are you leaving?
Nothing.
No, I'm going to be in all week.
You do look like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo.
You walk like him, too.
Yeah.
And when you run real fast, you leave your clothes behind.
All right, so, Tyler, we bid you adieu.
I will leave this.
We bid you adieu, my friend.
Yes, please.
And we're bidding everyone adieu.
Chef Donnie, we'll see you on Friday night.
Everyone buy Rough and Rowdy.
Get excited.
It's going to be awesome.
And you're going to win.
You're going to win.
I'm excited.
And if you lose.
That's it.
I'm done.
Correct.
But you're going to win.
I almost, for my sake, don't want you to lose.
Because it'll be like, imagine talking to him in the office afterwards.
Right.
That's the point.
He's like, he's now going to burden us.
Yeah.
With like, oh, we got to feel bad for him.
Don't worry.
That won't happen.
Okay.
That won't happen.
That won't happen.
Because you won't show up if you lose.
I won't.
I'll be gone.
All right.
So it's a lose or leave town match.
Yes.
Even better.
Yes.
Love it.
All right.
Everyone, thank you.
We'll see you tomorrow.
Appreciate it.
Go buy Rough and Rowdy.
Friday night.
Chef Don. Thank you.