The Yak - The Inspiring Story of Air Walker | The Yak 8-7-23
Episode Date: August 7, 2023SkateYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up.
It's the Yak, brought to you by Roback.
You've got to get yourself some fucking Roback.
Roback tees, hoodies, collared shirts, joggers, shorts, lids.
All that stuff is available all week for 20% off on your first purchase through the end of this week.
So you've got a nice long runway of five weekdays to do this. But why dilly-dally?
Use code YAK on rowback.com.
It's the YAK, a back-and-forth week of the YAK.
It'll be in New York today.
It'll be in Chicago tomorrow, Wednesday, and Thursday.
But then it'll be back in New York on Friday, I believe,
even though Sass will be on the road
and I'll be in L.A. for the Pat Bev show.
Who will be in on Friday?
That is a housekeeping conversation
that we're going to have to have.
You got it? You got it, Steve?
I could do it
or we could just pre-tape an extra one when we're
in Chicago. Either is fine.
But how will we talk about topical
events? It's true.
We are a current event show. Crystal ball.
Hit that crystal ball. The current
event that's going on right now is
the office has been realigned
and
there's a grumbling
mutiny about it.
There's people silently pissed off
and...
Not even silently.
People are mad that they...
Wowza.
People are mad that they didn't get a seat.
Yeah, it's your job to speak.
Yikes, first words of the day.
I got a stomach full of fucking stingray from last night.
I got some skate fish for dinner.
Yeah, you did it?
Yeah, that shit was weird.
You were on the skate, like roll bounce?
It was all bone.
It was the hardest thing functionally to eat that I've ever had.
And the chef came out and she was like, just rip it with your hands.
It was like all cartilage. She was like spoon feeding
you. She was like this and she was like putting it on
and then like spoon feeding you. What the fuck? Where were you guys
having skate at? This place, Fish Market.
Fish Market. Damn, that's your spot?
Chef was like getting pissed I was eating
it wrong. You have to rip it with your hands.
What made you get the fucking skate?
It was a special and it was
like decadent, like a crab kind of.
Interesting.
Succulent.
White meat?
You should have said, I don't want no ham.
White meat, yeah.
It was stringy.
It was good-ass skate fish.
Or bad skate fish.
It could have been the worst ever.
Then it can only get better from there.
What's a skate look like when it's alive?
A ray, right?
Fucking stingray.
It looks like a ray.
Oh, yeah.
Skates and rays
are the same.
Nick was getting clowned
by the servers
for always ordering
the same thing.
They love me.
I walk in,
Nicky.
That is true.
That was cool.
It's a Chinese restaurant?
Kinda.
Incredible food.
Look at that.
Those are smaller
than actual stingrays,
though.
Oh, Kyle's
took up the whole fucking tank.
Damn.
That's interesting.
Do you eat the underside, or do you eat the wings?
I don't know.
I was struggling to eat it.
Like, the underside looks a little bit...
I believe I caught a skatefish when I was younger, when I was just a wee boy.
Ooh, that looks weird plated.
Is that how it looks?
No.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah, it is.
I want to go to a good restaurant.
What was the tummy like after eating that stingray?
Solid.
Oh, it was pretty shitty.
Oh, was it?
Yeah, but it was good.
It was worth it.
Really?
Was it not fresh?
Got a side of Irukandji jellyfish fried.
Are you an adventurous eater like that?
I'm pretty open, yeah.
That sounds really open.
That sounds like not picky eating.
They say it's a special.
I'm going to trust them.
Really?
They said, Mama's in the house today.
She's cooking.
This is the special.
I'm getting it.
Really?
Are specials the best thing on the menu or something they're trying to get rid of?
I don't know.
I think it's just something unique that they have for like one week.
Right, yeah.
They probably caught one skate when they were getting all the rest of it.
It washed up.
Yeah.
She kept checking in on me, making sure I was eating it right.
I wasn't.
You were probably making sure you were alive.
Yeah, that's poisonous.
I think that's what it was.
My stomach was wrecked.
It still is.
You had the stinger first.
You're not supposed to eat that.
But what were you saying before?
The seats.
People are mad that they got the wrong seat or they didn't get a seat at all.
Who didn't get a seat?
They're not mad by their seat.
They're mad by the crew that they're surrounded by, I'm assuming, right?
Yeah.
They don't want to associate with the people by them?
Yeah, they feel they're in the wrong crew,
but I hate to break it to you.
If you think you're in the wrong crew,
you're in the right crew.
If you're somebody bitching about your crew,
guess what?
Yeah.
We pull up the seating chart?
I almost want to bring in Nate
to just let him get it off his chest.
I know.
He had steam coming out of his ears.
What seat is he at?
I don't know.
I just want him to be the Vox Populi.
I'm surprised he didn't get an office.
Don't play, Sash.
Don't play with the dog.
Vox Populi, isn't that like having to do with
fucking your emperor can fuck your wife
or the king can fuck your wife?
That's pre-Monachta.
Oh, okay.
I think Vox Populi is voice of the people. i always use those two pre-monachta that was smitty's go-to term he
would always be like prez is coming in and declaring pre-monachta on us and it was it's
from braveheart but the guy like the king can come around on your wedding night and he can get first fuck of your wife. Yeah. That's pretty badass.
Wow.
The right of the first night.
Kings, dukes, the right have sex to have any of their female subjects regardless of their will.
Very, very modern.
If I was a duke, I'd be showing up to every wedding.
Yeah.
Just in the back, like, in the doorframe.
Hurry this up.
If I knew she was down, I would definitely go.
Imagine being the rest of the dukes that had to, like,
when they were trying to bring this up to make it a law,
who just had to go along with it.
And this new policy that I'm going to implement,
I get to fuck all of your wives.
First. First.
Yeah.
Well, we're already married.
Your grandfather didn't. He doesn't have to fuck your wife.
But yeah, the seating chart is...
I'm trying to text you here.
Is the dog here? Yeah, I saw him
gimping around.
Marty and Rhea crossing each other?
Footsies. Footsies.
Those feet will never be on the ground.
Marty's going to have a spot on his leg
where he can't grow hair anymore.
It's from all the friction.
What's the proper way of doing footsies?
Do you just put your foot on top of the person
or is it like you're kind of stacking it
like you're...
The best way to do footsies is to
put your feet against the other
person's feet and then you run.
Bicycle. That's more of a
workout. Yeah, that's not a
sexual thing. No, not at all. You see that with my
sisters.
Very, very non-sexual. Yeah. Yeah, it isn't at all. You see that with my sisters. Very, very non-sexual.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It isn't at all.
Let's get a picture of Sassas.
No.
It's like my sister who's ten years younger than me.
Okay.
Fucking freak.
Okay.
You're a fucking demon, dude.
How to play footsie.
Oh, it isn't.
Imagine the artist that had to draw this for his job.
The dog.
Hello, dog.
What is one of footsies?
We're learning about footsies right now.
One second.
You wouldn't know shit about that with your busted member.
That's what I like.
That's extremely sexual.
Yeah, that just got Really sexual out of nowhere
Oh like dragging the toe
Up the shin
That's more sexual
Than some fucking
Most
Most fucking
What's this
If I found out that someone
Was cleaning your feet
Afterwards I guess
Dude if you come home
And your wife's cleaning her feet
Oh it's over
That's hot too
Who the fuck were you
Playing footsies with
At work today
Bitch let me smell your feet
Let me smell your fucking toes.
It smells like Carl's.
Why does your fucking foot smell like leg?
Nate Dogg, what's up, brother?
Hi.
Just wanted to get you in for a quick second so we could get,
I was saying the Vox Populi, the voice of the people,
the temperature of the office on the rearrangement, the realignment.
I think it's fine.
I don't know.
What's the question?
What's the drama?
There's rumors going around that some people are upset about it,
about their location specifically.
Nobody's addressed me or told me that way.
I don't know.
I think people are like, last week there was a lot of,
we're adults, we don't need to be told where to sit.
And then everybody came in today and sat exactly where the seating chart told them to.
But what is the daycare metaphor?
Oh, my tweet list?
Yeah.
Oh, that was about something else.
What was that about?
We can't get into that.
Hi.
You're going to hold out from us.
Of course we can.
So you brought me in saying that thing.
That's what you actually wanted to talk about?
I thought it was about the seating.
I thought you were mad about the seating.
No.
No.
Most jobs I've had, every job I've had tells you where to sit.
You're being such a little coy fish right now, dude.
You should live in a fucking pond with how fucking coy you're being.
If you want info out of me, just ask the direct info.
What is the, what were you upset about?
It's behind the scenes, people.
Oh.
Even the way you just said that made me, it tickled me pink.
Someone like Coleman?
Yeah, I fucking hate Coleman.
Like a camera guy?
No, no, no.
Like non-content, behind the scenes people in charge of structure people
who were people who were put in i'm trying to be diplomatic well that's a great word
this is a show where we this is a good this is a good vibe show no idea how good we had it
with brett wow office manager brett i miss brett i do too that's right he was good I had no idea how good we had it. With Brett. Wow. Office manager Brett.
I miss Brett.
I do too.
Miss Brett.
He was good.
Remember those.
Wait.
You're trying to cause drama on a Monday, huh?
You tweeted this to the public.
No, I know.
And it got big numbers too.
Right.
That's yeah.
None of my.
I tweet.
I'm like, this is a good one.
It'll get like eight
likes and then i just like fire off some bipolar unhinged tweet about brett shmerriman and it's
the only thing that people care about it's just coy it's giving jesus nate nate we're giving you
this is the platform why are you fucking us don't fuck us don't fuck us face to face at least shove our face in the pillow
you're you being so cool i think it's about one of us
no no come on you i mean i mean you know me better
one of us sass what's your problem with sass oh no i like sass is this one specific incident
that happened in the past week or is this like an ongoing set of incidences i'd say it's yeah it's a pattern i would say i almost
want to unleash kb because kb is our best uh interrogative interviewer he'll get to the
fucking bottom of this shit so uh i mean i think everybody generally is on a similar
page when it comes to just changes and i mean you guys talk about it on this show often and make fun
of how current barstool is and how it's corporate and blah blah blah blah and it's part of getting
bigger it's part of the changes and sometimes stuff just irks you like i know stuff irks you that you wish something
was one way and it's the other way and sometimes you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed and
you do some sub tweeting and then i just wish joey and pat were straight i'm just affronted by how
gay those dudes come off but that's my thing that i would wish i would change what's my thing that I would change. What's your thing that you would change? Similar.
I just know you have shit, and I'm afraid.
Are you saving it for KFC Radio?
Yes.
I feel like you're saving the good shit,
and you're like, you're holding out on the yak.
He won't give the yak anything.
You don't want to say it on a live program?
This is a serious question.
Are you transitioning into a more dramatic inner barstool show?
Or what's the plan here?
For the Yak?
Yeah.
So once Big Cat's Yak goes to Chicago, are you then doing more of an inside New York City barstool show?
Not like a Yak.
I'm not doing a different version of the Yak.
But if you give me some juice right now,
maybe it could be positive that we could do something like that.
You do your daily show once they leave.
I'm not doing a daily show once they leave.
Oh, you're not?
No, no.
I thought you were.
No.
We're going to do two boy dads a week,
and one's going to be live.
On YouTube?
Live stream, yeah.
Yeah, that's similar, no?
Yeah, yeah, but it's not going to be...
We're not doing a daily show.
Will it still be Rowan and Sass-centric, or will it be more community?
I think we could include more Barstool people.
I think people, and I was talking to people about this,
it kind of goes with the Barstool radio, and I do think Barstool radio,
it made everybody's life miserable.
Like when you were on it, you were angry for a week, Dave ruined your ruined your life it sucked that's what we're trying to do with you right now but i do think
there were important things that came from it that held everybody accountable like if you fuck up it
wasn't lol i'm sorry it was you should pay for your discretions interesting and i think there are there is a middle ground way to do it it
doesn't have to be the way dave did it and just ruin everybody's life it can be more humorous
but i i do think who would be in charge of that adam brown i don't think rome would i don't think
that he's not that kind of guy no because it doesn't have to be anger it's just like when you
do barstool in her office not politics like drama there's different ways to do it that's what i'm
trying to do right now yeah i'm saying the yak has never been that show you always dip our toes
you guys have been very we'll joke stay in your yak world and anything going on out there stays
out there which i think is a good thing i don't think everything needs to be pretty we were pretty
uh we were pretty out there for the fucking Mean Girls stuff.
Like when the Mean Girls first did their first attack.
Their first mean attack.
Which one was that?
With Caitlin Walker, right?
We covered that one.
The first mean strike.
We covered that.
We had Big Cat on Spy Cam for that, right?
Yeah.
They said that we're not allowed to be friends with her.
Because she wasn't content.
That's crazy.
You're allowed to be friends. You just she wasn't content. That's crazy. You're allowed to be friends.
You just can't talk about someone who's not content,
and that's why you're not saying anything right now.
I mean, if it's someone who no one knows, I get that.
You don't want to throw an individual person under the bus.
Correct.
It's kind of the thing where it's like,
do I really need to make this behind-the-scenes person's life harder?
And the answer is no.
Why would you be making their life harder?
Because you disagree with something they do?
No, because when you publicize it and it just becomes like a thing and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
So you want to keep it in-house?
Yeah.
But you're going to go on KFC radio to talk about it?
If they would have started a Zoom call on Friday, I would have erupted.
So you were ready to do that.
But now I took my meds.
It was like serious anger.
I was furious, yeah.
So something happened to you.
Someone did something to you, I'm assuming.
Personally?
It affected you. It affected me.
It wasn't directed at me, but
it affected me.
I don't know, Nick. You know me somewhat
well. I just
kind of fly off the handlebars every once in a while.
So this is a professional incident.
Has this person been respectful to you?
Historically?
That's a good question. I haven't had a
large relationship with this person.
Do they even know it's
them? Or is this, this would be a
complete sneak attack? I'd say this person's aware.
Okay. But everything's fine now. I had a good weekend relaxing weekend how was your weekend sass
my weekend was splendid i had uh stingray but what was the incident you're trying to skate right now
where's kate he's in chicago you're trying to skate big time.
How did it affect you directly?
I don't want to prolong
this. I don't know.
You won't say.
I don't think it's necessary
to say. Do you text us?
No. Who it is?
No.
Do you text Nick?
He won't tell any of us.
He won't. Nick is always? Yeah, he won't.
Nick is always the first to know, though.
Nick definitely knows now.
I need to take Nick out of the circle for us.
I have the loosest.
No, he's being trustworthy right now. I'm seeking more ships than Pearl Harbor.
Nick is being very trustworthy for you right now, if he knows, if he truly knows deep down.
Stuff sometimes just bothers me.
Well, here's a question.
How would you have done it?
I think communication is key.
Okay.
Who would you have communicated with?
You?
I mean, if it personally affected me, like, what do I care?
Right.
Yeah. And so you think that people should have, or like, communicating about where people sit.
It is not about seating.
No correlation?
No.
What is it about, you coy bastard?
Is it about the office?
Dave's here.
We could go virtually.
Structurally, is it about the office?
Going back to what we said at the beginning it's the same way you guys
make fun of how barstool is now like when stuff piles up and piles up and piles up i just i just
physically like the boxes no not the boxes uh the problems problems yeah i see what i see where
you're coming from i see it both ways i see where you're coming from is you want these decisions to
be made democratically i
will say i might just keep tweeting about it though if they're going to keep doing numbers
yeah yeah um but you want shit to be be done democratically and uh that's what this country
was built on i'm worried that when the full chicago move happens the way that the new york
city office is currently structured compared to the way the Chicago office will be structured,
we will be left in the dust in New York City.
But the ceilings aren't high enough.
They have a full court basketball.
The ceilings aren't high enough for basketball.
What do you mean left in the dust?
You want to have as much fun?
No, it's not about fun, just about output, funding,
the way we're viewed, the way it looks on social the way people pay attention to
chicago compared to new york i think but you can't always control the way that you're viewed
you know as an office i think we should be more hands-on and ensuring our survival
interesting do you disagree with that?
No, but I also think that...
I know you've had these similar conversations I've had.
Yeah, but I'm not like doom and gloom about it.
If you want to talk about it, you have to talk about it.
I know, but I'm saying my perspective is not doom and gloom about it.
I'm like, oh, this is an awakening.
No, no, I'm trying to be proactive instead of reactive.
I feel that.
So what would you do?
I know you're... Well, I mean, you can't just hammer me about the details when I know
you've had these exact same conversations to be proactive.
Let's talk about those conversations, right?
Which conversations?
Now we have to name names.
But, uh, my, my point is like, uh, you're skating.
Yeah.
You're skating.
Yeah.
A little Tony Hawk over here.
Not at all.
Not at all.
I'm, I'm like very hopeful and excited about this.
Me too.
No, I think there are great things we can do.
Totally.
I'm trying to stay ahead of that,
and I just don't want them to say,
all right, wash our hands off this IKEA couch,
it's Connect Four, we're done.
Right, and so you think that that's a half-assed regret.
Seth, do you agree with that?
I mean, the couches and Connect Four has been a success.
I guess so.
People are playing Connect Four.
My problem is that the pieces for the Connect Four aren't big enough.
I'm still worried I could choke on one of them.
See, I want them smaller just if I ever get hungry.
My problem is that I don't like when people complain without a better plan.
I am being proactive on that.
I am gathering information from everybody in the office about what we need and want and could use.
And I'm relaying this to the powers that be.
So you want to be part of that leadership committee that puts together what the new office is like.
I want to speak for the people who are scared to speak up.
And that's why I was like, Nate, vox populi, dude.
What's that?
Voice of the people.
Did you?
Vox what?
Vox populi.
Never heard of this.
Voice of the people.
Voice of the people, a little Latin that we like to throw around on this show.
You guys are advanced here.
Shit.
Yeah, no, I think there's a lot of people who are scared to speak up or wouldn't know
who to speak up to.
And that's not great because there's people who have good ideas and I'm trying to vocalize for them.
Fair.
It's not.
I mean, yeah, I was being dramatic on Twitter, but it came from a good place.
Can I interject?
Of course.
Play a little devil's advocate.
Is it not a little bit late? Aren't there already like plans for what that's part of my anger yeah but i mean couldn't these
conversations have been drummed up a couple months ago for the new york arm that that's part of where
like i was angry about is like where was this communication months ago i also agree i think
that the new chicago move kind of sn up. It was pretty much in the works for
four years and then it just happened.
Right?
So is that a sneak up?
Four years didn't really sound like a sneak up.
No, but since I started here, everyone was like, oh, everyone's moving
to Chicago. And then out of nowhere, it was like,
next month. It's freshman year and then suddenly I'm graduating.
Yeah, 100%.
I don't know. No, I know what you mean. It was,
oh, by the way way half the office is
moving next month yeah yeah no i agree kb nick do you guys feel good about what you're doing
unless they were withholding from you maybe they knew for a while and they just i feel really bad
right now i feel terrible i think an apology is necessary whether moving to chicago staying here
are always too quick on the doom and gloom trigger without even a day of the change happening.
I'm trying not to jump directly into the doom and gloom end.
I'm enjoying the devil's advocacy from Che, though.
Well, he's separated from glass.
I'm safe from Nate.
I've been enjoying the devil's ray
In my stomach
Hard to eat, Nate
But I think that
I understand that
You
Like, or you want to be part of
Making these decisions
And there was a certain amount of people that make the decisions
It's not so much
I don't think I have all the answers or i should be the decision maker because you know i don't
have the best brain i don't know how everything should be i think everybody like you smokes keegs
whoever else comes to work every day should have way more of a say in their career you know it's
like if they don't have what they need,
it impacts them a ton.
Right.
I think that there's also a little bit of too many chefs spoil the broth, though.
Have what they need.
We got to get Keegs a basketball court, too.
He's our center, dude.
How is things in the office going to affect Roan
for Son of a Boy Dad, the Pat Bev show?
That's the show he's in.
That's a great question. I don know well if roan that i don't know he's a smart guy he probably does
want something that we don't have here there's a piece of equipment or technology or a stage or a
green screen anything that he could use that we don't have and maybe the person who designed, made the office didn't even consider asking Adam these questions.
When you see new stuff get built in the Chicago office, do you feel a pang of jealousy?
I think it's hard not to.
Yeah, I think it's exceptionally hard not to.
And you guys are not going to apologize to him?
Is that what you're saying, that neither of you are going to apologize to Nateate over this no i'm sorry nate um it's not your fault i'm joking i mean
because we'll have more fun or because like we'll be able to live stream more activities i don't
know it just seems like he feels like you'll be the focal point or not you but chicago will be
the focal point that's what you're saying correct, correct? It's not about Eric Nathan.
I know my base is very, very low compared to you.
That's the nature of a base.
Ceiling is very, very low.
Thank you.
Yeah, I don't know.
It just seems like when all the focus is on an office whatever miles away,'s like, are we being left behind or are we being left in the dust?
Interesting.
Sassy, is that where you are?
No, not at all.
Not at all. Because as long as you do your own shit, it doesn't really matter if there's.
I mean, I just don't think I've ever been in like the like I'm not I'm not like in like stool scenes or anything like that.
Like I just kind of do my own thing and so as long as you focus on i think son of a boy dad will honestly
get bigger from this why because it's not going to be me and ron on the same show every single day
yeah you're right true so people oh oh like being on the yak and then having and then the two days
so to see you guys together you have to have a son of a boy dad yeah i like that that makes sense
yeah we're
excited for from that perspective we don't do any office why like what do you mean like there's not
like audiences for an entire office i think no i think that i think it's like where like this will
be the new chicago where it's like that's just like a stem of bar i think barstool as much as
it sucked and we were depressed every day,
as a company, we were best at the old office where it was legitimately a reality show every day.
And without Dave in the mix here, we don't have that certain quality that Chicago will have.
I heard Gazzo's going to be back around, though.
Gaz won't be. Come on.
That's not what Gaz-O's saying.
Gaz will be here for a couple months. Say that we're putting the straw back into the drink, and he's about to be stirring that bitch.
We'll see, and we'll see if people react to it.
I think people might also be just immune to Gaz's nonsense at this point.
It seems like in some ways you're saying that you want someone to be holding everybody accountable.
And in some ways, you're saying that's not this show
and it was making everybody depressed and stuff like that.
Was that a question?
As far as coverage goes, too, aren't most of the social guys staying here?
I think it will be split equally.
It's just what are people going to gravitate more towards,
the Chicago people or New York people? to gravitate more more towards the chicago people
or new york people how about a little more devil's advocacy but isn't that more on the people right
like if you look at resources the big difference is a you know a basketball court and golf simulator
i think i mean gads being here would be good i think there has to be for stuff to work there
has to be one of those people in the mix stirring it up i know one of the
mandates in the chicago office is people are going to have to be in five days a week is that going to
be something that new york is gonna mirror or mimic or is like because that's a similar you
know feel from the old barstool days of course it would of course be beneficial but i don't think
anybody's gonna to demand it.
He's not crazy, Dad.
I'm not going to be invited as we tell you that. You're not?
Not for.
Who is going to be the number one once Gaz leaves here?
Adam Ferron. No, KFC.
Adam. KFC's the GM, right? It should be Roan.
People respect Roan. People
find Roan funny. People want Roan to do his own
yak in New York City.
I don't know why he wouldn't.
He's the voice.
He is the voice of the office.
I don't know about that.
I don't want to be in charge of anything, though, to be honest with you.
Why is that?
That was never like—
You don't want to take the next step into leadership?
That was never my dream.
Like, being a good engineer doesn't mean you're good at being in charge of engineers.
Do you know what I mean?
Sure, yeah, but I think you would be a good leader. That mean you're good at being in charge of engineers. Do you know what I mean? Sure, yeah.
But I think you would be a good leader.
That's very nice of you.
But I kind of would rather just make stuff.
That sounds way better.
You know what I mean?
That sounds way better.
But I would love to be a resource.
And I feel like this started off as a conversation about seeding, but I've enjoyed it. But now that I see Sass has put his head down in awkwardness, I feel like...
I don't think that was awkward, was it?
No, no.
No.
Not at all.
I think it was illuminative.
Yeah, I thought that was a good talk.
Yeah, I appreciate it, brother.
You should just consider doing the rack.
Huh?
The rack?
Yeah, the rognac.
No.
No.
I don't want to even do anything that's like the Yak.
Sound off in chat if you want it.
I think we need it.
No, they don't.
People like the Yak because it's the Yak.
I think people love when you lead the Yak.
And I think you'll be a great one-two punch with Big Cat in Chicago.
Well, I appreciate that.
You and Tommy, Francis. Well, Sash doesn. You and Tommy, Francis.
Well, Sash doesn't want to do, which makes a lot of sense, actually,
to not be on the same show five days a week with your co-host.
Makes a ton of sense.
I think, just think about it, Ron.
Just think about it.
Thank you, brother.
Appreciate it.
All right.
Love you guys.
Love you, Nate.
All right, Nate.
Interesting conversation.
Yeah.
KB, what are your thoughts on that conversation?
Yeah, you made some good points.
I'm never going to think about you guys ever again once I move.
I know.
It's going to rule.
Just clear mind, throwing everything in the trash.
Let's get back to this skate talk.
Yeah, I always enjoy the skate talk too.
Textures and tastes.
I've said enough.
I've said all I know.
I would like to learn more if possible.
I just want to see a picture of it.
You know if it's calorically dense?
I want to see a picture of it cooked.
Protein count.
I assume high in protein.
It looked very muscular.
It was light.
Light in protein.
It wasn't just light.
Flaky fish.
You could only get so much. It was like less Light in protein. It wasn't just light. Flaky fish. You could only get so...
It was like less output than crab legs at a time.
You were really, really working on it.
It looked like the top right.
Wait, is it all sliced up like that?
Does each part come apart?
You couldn't eat it with a fork.
You couldn't even rip it off with a fork.
You had to use hand power.
What?
What about a knife, though?
What was it?
Fried?
Grilled?
It was grilled.
Seasonings.
What kind of seasonings?
It was an amazing seasoning.
Was there a crust to it?
Do you think that it was dipped in a batter?
The fish, no.
But Chicago office has a skate track.
I don't have fresh skate every day.
There's a petting zoo of
skates it's like the
aquarium where you can
just dip your hand in
yeah and there will be a
live camera on that
skate tank live streaming
on barstool aquarium
yeah the exact 24 hours
doing live boy dad
barstool sea world
that is actually that's
out on socials now you
can go follow them yeah
yeah they're under They're under culture.
Because of the black whale.
Black fish.
A lot of brown trout.
Heavy amount of brown trout in the mix,
so you will be able to find that on culture.
We under culture.
Dude, that's why I know I could never do a drama show,
because it made me so uncomfortable.
Yeah, yeah, that was...
Anytime I start cleaning my phone case.
Yeah, whenever Sass goes into this posture...
I was doing math in the calculator.
Now Boo's upside down.
Yeah, we can't be doing that.
We can't do that again.
I know.
I was like, let me try this out.
See what the...
Oh, my God.
Boo! I know. I was like, let me try this out. Let's see what the... Diego, is he back there?
Oh, yeah. Diego.
Diego, what's up, bro?
What's good?
Learning the ones and twos back there?
Who orchestrated this whole maneuver of you getting what are you up to behind the scenes learning uh i'm learning from tj on how to work the cans at a
live show wait so cans is your like cameras uh cams cams cams sorry um whose idea was this yours
or tj's um well i I talked to Jake Bass about it.
Just, you know, potentially if Boy Dad is going to be twice a week and if I'm still around, maybe I could help out.
Do you play video games?
Do I play video games?
Yeah.
Here and there.
I feel like playing video games is really beneficial to cutting video.
Is that true, TJ?
Yeah, I feel like my instincts are higher because of it.
Same.
It's like a big old video game.
So for work, I'm going to need you
to play way more video games, Diego.
Okay, I'll get on the sticks tonight.
Put it in the office, man.
No Connect 4, just strictly
Fortnite.
Fuck yeah. I heard that...
I'm not going to say things I heard anymore
until I know that they're true.
Say it. I heard that Reed might be going to Chicago with you guys.
Oh, we're going to talk about it.
I don't want to pressure him.
See, you made me say it.
I didn't want to say it.
I know that's what it is.
He's very talented, and I said it.
He's been working hard for us.
He got scammed out of like $1,400.
He took the bait on an apartment.
Wait, what do you mean? He got anammed out of like $1,400. He took the bait on an apartment. Wait, what do you mean?
He got an apartment on Facebook.
And then he was talking to the guy on WhatsApp.
Guy made him download WhatsApp.
And he somehow convinced Reed to send him the money.
Zell the money.
No.
First month's rent plus security deposit.
And Reed goes to this apartment with the stick and bandana on the back of his shoulder.
Straight off the back of the train.
Yeah, and then he knocks on the door, and it's just like a family living there.
It's like, no, this is our apartment, dude.
Yeah, and then the guy blocked him on WhatsApp.
No.
It was WhatsApp.
He can't.
$1,400, though?
He put out his vendor on this, and he got his money back.
Got his money back.
Thank you to everybody that watches the show.
Shout out to everyone who donated.
Who?
Reed.
Wait, and then some? I think he got it. Yeah, man, I don't know. I don't know. So maybe he was that watches the show. Donate it. Who? Reed. Wait and then some?
I think he got it. Yeah I don't know.
So maybe he was in on the scam.
That sounds like very white men can't jump.
He was afraid
to even say his Venmo.
We gave him so many opportunities.
He thought he was going to get scammed again?
He thought he was going to get scammed again.
He will. He'll find a way.
He can edit. He can cut videos.
But boy, you could scam him easy.
Easy.
He's
the goat.
He's the second best brother in his family.
Tyler's the goat?
No.
I told him I'd talk to Big Cat
if he'd ever want to consider it.
I don't know what production people are headed out to Chicago.
Facts.
It's good.
Facts.
Sass, big show coming up in Philly.
Please buy tickets.
Did you sell out yet?
I think Thursday is about to be sold out and Friday early.
It's Friday late and Saturday still needs some work, but they'll get there.
The crowd's going to love you.
You've done Philly before now.
Oh, yeah.
Best club in America.
Philly is.
No, it really is.
Better than Huntsville?
Oh, yeah.
The Philly, Philly is such a good club.
Why?
After getting sent to Huntsville, do you ever text your manager and they're like, what the
fuck did you do that to me for?
No, because you can't get a good weekend every weekend.
It's just there's not enough cities.
Why don't you just not do it one weekend?
Got to get those reps in, bro.
Okay.
Got to get that cash.
What percentage of the money you made from Huntsville
is it compared to what you usually make?
I don't know.
Is it a lot lower?
Oh, yeah.
You make like $35K a show.
What's Huntsville giving you?
Yeah, he only made like $20,000.
He made no money. He only made $20K? There's no money worth it. There's no money worth giving you? Yeah, he only made like $20,000. He made no money.
He only made $20,000?
There's no money.
There's no money for 20 bands.
There was nothing.
You should make your manager...
I don't even get a bed for that kind of money.
I made nothing in Huntsville.
You should make your manager go with you
to these cities that he books you in.
It's like, you want to come?
You want to book me here?
You got to come.
I don't mind.
I mean, I don't mind going to those cities.
It's fun.
It's cool seeing places.
No, I didn't see any of it.
It's just not...
It's cool to do your material in front of people who have no idea who you are.
Yes, that's healthy.
You have no Vox Pa over your manager if he books something?
No, I could say no.
Oh, but you just...
You have no Vox Populi over your manager?
Okay, no...
Yeah, I want to go.
You want to go. You want to go.
You want to get the reps in.
Yeah.
Nice.
Veto power.
It's like five hours of stage time.
Yeah.
We've got to get you in a club in Hawaii.
Totally.
What makes the helium the best one?
Low ceilings, pretty packed, low stage. It's the lighting situation. Really bright on stage pretty packed low stage it's the lighting situation really bright on stage
why low stage why is low stage good because you're like right on top of the fucking
like you're like you're barely above the front row which is what you want to be
it's very very fun i'm very excited i heard special guests. Potentially special guests.
Yeah.
It's going to be fun.
Louis C.K.
Louis C.K., yep.
He's going to do his new hour.
Before or after you?
Probably a little bit of both.
Probably split it up.
Same time?
15, 15, 15, 15?
Yeah.
Just jump back and forth, little bumping mics with C.K.?
Damn.
That's going to be sweet.
Yeah, definitely.
Buy tickets.
Excited to not have to fucking fly either.
Just take the train or drive up.
I think I'm driving up.
Guardini.
The guard dog?
I did their podcast this week.
Yeah, he told me.
Suave.
Yeah, T-Suave.
T-Suave.
T-Suave.
How'd you do?
I had fun.
Those dudes are hilarious.
Gardini and Big Chrissy.
I love listening to all the Barstool podcasts,
but I also feel like it expands the brain a little bit to listen to different people's brand of comedy.
And I just like their pacing and their voice.
I heard there was a lot of Big Mike talk.
Big Mike?
Michelle Obama.
Oh.
You called her big.
I didn't come up with that.
But I was saying that she could...
You always call her big Mike.
She could bend the edge if she was a DN for sure, dude.
She definitely has bend.
She definitely has Hassan Reddick.
Oh, yeah.
Gardini always just...
16-sack capability.
...of her back.
Yeah.
Look how jacked her back is.
I kind of want to see.
She's a strong lady.
She does solid core.
Her secret service will come into solid core with her.
Really?
They would have to do the workout with her.
Damn.
But she would go to a normal workout class.
Imagine just having a regular workout class,
and then it's the first lady in the corner
surrounded by three jacked social or uh service
guys comfortable oh didn't she just do that like i feel like she could probably just get someone to
come to her house and like train her for free or train her personally oh my gosh the eagle oh i
thought you're looking at dave yeah look at that that definition yeah miss olympia maybe is that
what your back looks like? Stronger or weaker?
I don't know I'm never looking
At certain parts
Stronger
At certain parts weaker
I gotta start seeing
But you got better lats
Probably don't have as
Deep of a chasm
Whatever the pull ups give you
Cause that's all I do
Lats
That's how you get those wings
The wings
Deep lats
High away
Pretty much
Give me the beat boys
Gotta get this fucking thing away from me
No I like it
I feel like it makes you converse better
It's like when the therapist has like
Little toys in the room
So the children will open up
What kind of children need those?
Special ones
The specialist kids
The most special kids
You're the specialist
What is uh
What's the eagle doing in town?
What's Presidente doing?
I have a meeting with him later.
Talking future of the stool.
Future of the New York.
All of us except Nate are going to be in there.
So it's going to be sick.
Things I need.
Stage.
Green screen.
Yeah.
Record.
We have 18 walls of green screen in here that no one ever uses.
We have unlimited green screen space in here.
What's the deal with the gadgets in New York?
Not nearly enough gadgets.
I also have bad news for you guys.
How much basketball does he think we're going to be playing?
And how much golf simulator?
You smash a golf simulator like twice and then it just like.
Oh, yeah. And a new model like twice and then it just like. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And then a new model comes out and you never use it anymore. I feel like the basketball court is almost just like a, oh, wow, kind of thing.
Yes.
Like, oh, you got this too?
Like when Brandon saw his new house and he had to shoot in front of his two twin hot real estate agent ladies.
It's kind of like that.
Get some shots up.
Ask them to touch rim.
And then if they could play basketball.
Yeah, if they could dunk.
Remember when Brandon made that video being like, I'll be able to dunk in one month from today.
And then he just never made the video again.
He was like, this is a new series that I'm doing.
I don't remember that at all.
You don't remember that?
Did that?
Yeah, he posted a video and he was like, one month from today I'll be able to dunk.
Or maybe he was like, I'll be able to touch rim or something like that,
and then never did it again.
I remember that, too.
Yeah.
Was it like a quarantine thing?
No, this was like eight months ago, max.
I missed that.
Yeah.
Yeah, then he realized that you can't add inches
to your vertical leap in your 40s.
Yeah.
You just can't do it.
That does not work for fucking anybody.
Every episode, he'd get further from Duncan.
Gravity's working.
How many times are we going to-
Three months.
How long ago was that?
May of last year.
Oh, so it was over a year ago.
Good God.
All right, let's see the video.
It's not going to be that long at all.
All right, Brandon Walker at the basketball park. see the video. It's not going to be that long at all. Alright,
Brandon Walker at the basketball park.
I watched my video last night of
me wrestling.
It was an athletic abomination and I was embarrassed.
You're talking to the 1997
slam dunk champion at West Point High School.
One of the great dunkers to ever come out of West Point,
Mississippi. And I can't
handle that. So here's my promise. This is not
a new show. This is not content. So maybe he did it. Not any of that. So here's my promise. This is not a new show.
This is not content.
Oh, so maybe he did it.
Not any of that.
It's just for my personal use here.
I've got to make myself better.
You wanted it to be a new show.
In three months from now, I will dunk a basketball.
This is a pilot.
That's my promise to you.
In three months from now, I will dunk a basketball once again.
Haven't done it since I was about 37, six years now.
Haven't tried.
So I'm going to see where I'm at right now.
He keeps putting his arms in circles.
I'm going to go see where I'm at.
I'm going to go see how far I've got to come. It might not be pretty. I haven't tried. So I'm going to see where I'm at. He keeps putting his arms in circles. I'm going to see how far I've got to come.
It might not be pretty.
I haven't tried this.
Zero shoulder mobility.
Surprised he can pick them up over his head.
Not great.
Not great, Bob.
Even the walk-off was bad.
I think he hurt himself.
How do you improve at that?
It looks like he hurt everything in his body.
Why is he jumping so far out?
Yeah.
He's trying to do the MJ dunk.
Where did he jump from?
I don't know.
He's jumping from a mile away.
Yeah, you probably could have got it.
That looks kind of dope.
That looks dope. There's still an image where That looks kind of dope. That looks dope.
That's still an image where he's touching one parcel.
It looks dope.
Wait a minute.
Can we go back to his jump?
Did he bend his legs at all?
I don't think so.
How did he do that?
Oh, yeah, I guess he did.
There it is.
He gets good air.
He gets that.
It's pretty surprising.
He's close to the rim as is.
He's so far, though.
He used to be another foot up. It's pretty surprising. He's close to the rim as is. He's so far, though. He used to be another foot up.
The dunk, yeah.
He saw that video and he was like, three months, I could do that.
He'll be dunking in the Chicago office, though.
Definitely.
For sure.
Everybody's going to be trying to record and people are just going to be bouncing balls.
There's going to be so much dunking.
We're all going to be able to dunk when we come back to the door.
So much dribbling.
The whole day.
Yeah, just squeaking.
Hopefully ZeroBlog30 doesn't have any Vietnam vets in there.
It's going to be a fucking nightmare.
Oh, man. We got a guest today yeah he fought in vietnam 20 years and a jenga tower just falls over yeah nicky smokes playing horses
playing king of the court send them back
yeah they're gonna have a trapeze in there with dudes getting fired out of a cannon playing king of the court. I'm going to send them back.
Yeah, they're going to have a trapeze in there with dudes getting fired out of a cannon.
Scaring the fuck out of them.
It's going to be sweet.
It's going to be extremely sweet.
I think that just people who have the proclivity
to complain about things are going to complain.
You'd never see me complaining. Sass does not complain. I are gonna complain. You'd ever see me complaining.
He does not complain.
I bury that shit.
Puts it into his work.
Puts it into the fucking
iron jungle.
Puts it into my craft.
That's why you need a craft, honestly.
Everyone here should have an art.
Yeah?
Mine?
Just a microphone
and a fucking speaker.
That's all he needs.
The purest form there is.
Just a microphone and a stage.. That's all he needs. The purest form there is.
Just a microphone and a stage.
We should take apart these fucking couches and build you a stage.
Totally.
Guys, I'm going to need a stage in here.
How come no one asked me if I needed a stage?
Let's ask Lee Barstool.
Because you didn't give him a stage.
I want it high, too.
Like, I want you to have to squat because of the ceiling
Just a high ass stage
Like a high school
Like a grade school play
Yeah
There's nowhere for me to perform
In the office
Guess I'll go elsewhere
It just needs to be an apple box man
We just need this guy to have his little soap box
So he can get up, tell his jokes.
That would work, honestly.
Really would.
That's how comedy clubs should be.
There's a lot of clubs where that's what the stage looks like.
Like that?
Yeah.
Like small, tiny clubs or like bar shows.
They just have that as the stage.
And you're like, what's the point of this?
Could have worn those fucking things that you put in your shoes and it would be the equivalent.
Yeah. Comedy clubs should just be it'd be the equivalent. Yeah,
that's,
comedy club should just be
a big pair of shoes.
Yeah.
Pop those in.
Run a pair of Jordans.
Yeah,
just a nice platform shoe.
Yeah,
are those new?
550s?
Come on,
bro,
don't play him.
Everyone has these now.
I know.
You were new to them though.
You were early on them.
I was mid.
He was mid to them. You got them when they were
What?
400?
What's that new style of shoe
That came out?
Do you guys watch
Dude I don't know which fight
Was better this weekend
There were some good ones
The
The Jake Paul fight
Or the fight in
Montgomery, Alabama.
That was the best.
That's my favorite internet video.
Was that the video of the boat?
Yeah, the boat fight.
The race war.
There was chairs.
It was so awesome.
There was people falling in the water.
All the white dudes got arrested, right?
I think some of the brothers did as well.
No.
I think they did.
But I think the white family definitely got arrested.
I saw them all locked up.
Yeah.
I just love a good brawl video and just the ensuing breakdowns that happened.
The daughter of that family got knocked out three times in the one video.
I need to watch this.
I never watched the full video. The daughter in the blue shirt got knocked out three times in the one video. I need to watch this. I never watched the full video.
The daughter in the blue shirt got knocked out three times.
You got to watch.
And she kept going back.
All right, this is the original.
That guy was a security guard.
Throws the hat.
That was badass.
Oh, shit.
He's just brawling the hell out.
Because he worked for a bigger boat.
And he was like, they need a spot to dock this fucking massive riverboat.
Oh, my God.
I've been waiting for this.
Oh, shit.
These people, he tried to move their boat, and they were like, no, you don't move our boat.
There's some allies coming.
Our family.
There's one.
And so he comes in a little ginger.
One of his allies is going to swim to him.
No.
Really?
I think so.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. gonna swim to him no really i think so oh my god oh my god this guy's swimming the navy seal
does this have all three parts he's moving so slow yeah so he's he's getting there
i think he's out of breath by the time by gets there. But by now, so many people... He doesn't even do anything when he gets to the dock.
Is he naked?
He's like, fuck.
No, he's fully clothed.
The opposite of naked.
Yeah.
He's got khakis on.
I think he works on the boat.
He works for the same company as white shirt guy.
He's like, I'm going to defend it.
And now the...
Oh, second angle?
Second angle.
The Avengers come in and that's the guys who just fought him.
Slap.
Where's the guy that swam?
Okay, so mom is in light blue and she's on the boat, but she'll come off.
This turns into all-out brawl, but then the sister in the blue shirt comes in.
That's her first time getting knocked out.
She got knocked out once.
That's her first time getting knocked out.
Her mom starts walking her.
Mom jumps in.
Mom gets knocked out.
Sister gets out of dodge, but then she sees mom is getting wailed on by boat employees
so blue shirt sister
goes to defend mom
as cops
and there she goes
back in
got pushed in
somebody got pushed in
yeah
wait what's causing
all those
I thought they were drowning
I know
oh my god
he's afraid to get back up
because they're just gonna
steal her hands off
blue shirt's about to get it again
blue shirt's about oh get it again. Blue shirt's about.
Oh, then these guys get backed off.
Blue shirt gets back in the mix.
Oh, my God.
Duffed out again.
How do these end?
Where are the chairs?
There's people coming with.
I think everyone just gets tired.
The third angle is chairs.
Yeah, then the chairs.
BJs.
BJs Commentary
And then there is a third angle
Where someone's getting bashed over the head
Can we get the chairs angle
I would love to see the chairs angle
Those chairs were
The one with WWE commentary I think
The sound effects
It was just No one got hurt that bad The one with WWE commentary, I think. The sound effects, Che, you know?
It was just so... It was like, no one got hurt that bad.
It didn't look like...
It seemed like something like...
Blue shirt probably has brain damage.
The chick or the guy that swam?
Girl.
The girl, yeah.
She got punched in the head a bunch of times
and multiple...
And then this is the...
All the way to hell!
Oh!
And then, bro, but he also goes over and
she gets pushed down and they bopped on
the head like a field mouse
and he immediately gets arrested
they're like no no no chairs
that's crazy
nothing like a good old
fashioned race war
By the water
By the water I mean
By the water
Had to be some people
Just with a cocktail
Watching like
Oh yeah
A civil war battle
Yeah
It's like with their picnic blanket
We'll all be
What else happened
Fight combat wise
But uh
Jake Paul
Union Square
Oh yeah
Union Square I was like we were
alive last week and uh the baseball player oh yeah he got he got his block knocked off yeah him
walking i was thinking about the psychology of that incident how that affects him badly because
in baseball brawls it's usually just tackles no one usually gets duffed out well it's usually not
a second baseman and a runner, right?
Yeah, it's usually pitcher, hitter.
Yeah.
And they just really squared up.
Even the ref was like, I'm going to go ahead and get out of the way on this one.
That was awesome.
Wait, and what was the other?
Oh, the Kai Senate.
There was, like, people throwing plants at the fucking cops and shit.
Yeah.
That was good shit.
That was good shit.
Yeah.
And did you guys watch the Logan Paul And did you guys watch the Logan Paul?
Did you guys watch the Jake Paul?
Of course.
I did not.
Oh, I watched SummerSlam.
I watched Logie.
Yeah.
I watched Jake.
Jake was pretty good.
I woke up and only saw the last five, but they were entertaining.
Entertaining, for sure.
I don't know what he was expected to do.
They go 10 rounds
yeah
Nate Diaz is just so tough
yeah
we're basically a fucking
Joe Rogan episode now
talking about the combat sports
stand up
yeah
we are
what clubs are like
yeah
inner work
upstairs
the architecture of a comedy club.
Anyone gives the slightest fuck about that?
Did you ever see when
Tim Heidecker did
the Joe Rogan impression?
Yeah.
It's 12 hours long.
It's so...
It's 12 hours long?
I think it repeats a bunch.
Yeah, he just looped it.
But it's just like the most... So funny. So funny. It's really hours long. I think it repeats a bunch. Yeah, he just looped it. But it's just like the most...
So funny.
So funny.
It's really, really funny.
Did you see his on-cinema show?
And the guy, his co-host was talking about the Play-Doh movie coming out.
He said it's going to rival Star Wars.
He's like, it's one of the most valuable properties.
It's about to be a movie.
It's going to rival Star Wars, Star Trek.
Fucking Play-Doh movie.
I heard his live show
is hilarious,
but he just makes fun
of stand-ups
the entire time.
I've seen some clips.
His stand-up,
that's what it was.
It's really funny.
I was obsessed with
Tim and Eric
in college, high school.
Yeah, obsessed.
His stand-up is so funny.
Tim's?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's just really
stereotypical jokes.
Their live shows together, their songs,
they come out in these flesh-colored suits with just giant dicks,
and they just bounce it from knee to knee, standing up.
It's fucking phenomenal.
The Rogan one, it's just him, and he has those two guests.
Yeah, and they really don't say anything.
They're like, when was the first time we met?
I think it was in the green room at the store.
He was at the green room at the store.
Just this, like, nothing conversation.
Like, remember Johnny?
Oh, dude, strong guy and funny, too.
That's so...
But just, like, so nice.
Strong.
And then, like, the one dude, he tries to make to make like a point about cancel culture or some shit like that.
Yeah, here.
It was.
Was that Vic Berger?
It's crazy.
I was just talking to my producer here.
And we were just kind of trying to figure out the last time we talked.
And it's actually been a while.
Like it's been a
couple years wow i mean i've talked to you guys offline everything but i'm talking like
having you guys on and getting into it it's been like it's been a minute wow it really has i mean
because we were texting uh you know all this past week and sending things back and forth
um but it's good to be here. It's so different in person.
How long has it been, man?
It's been like, what?
I think they were saying it's been a while, like a couple years.
But we're here now, so let's get into it.
And it's been, I mean, a lot's been happening on your end.
So we have a lot to get to, but it's been kind of a crazy couple years.
Well, a crazy couple years, certainly a crazy couple months, which I'm sure we'll get into.
Well, everything you guys have been doing has been outrageous and awesome and inspiring to me, and you guys are just killing it.
Thank you.
Thank you, man.
It's great that you're here, and we have so much to get into, but I just wanted to start with that and welcome you.
I should say we've got Rajat Suresh here. Am I saying that correct? I don't want to be disrespectful.
Oh, no, man.
Oh, the cancel mob is going to come down your throat, man.
Dude, dude, they will.
They will.
No, that's for real.
That's for real, though.
Like, if I don't get that right on the money the first time around, that's it.
Like, oh, my gosh.
The shit that I will get.
The shit that I will have to get for that.
Yeah, man.
It's gotten crazy out there. It's crazy
It's gotten really good there. Well, we'll get to that but and Jeremy Levick now, there's no problem with that
Jeremy Levick here, of course
Let's start like
Where I guess it makes sense to start like how do I was trying to think about like how I?
First came across
you guys like it's i mean i know we go way back like it's so fucking good would it have been at
the store like what or would it have been like on the road like doing sets like where
huh well i couldn't put it it could have been the store it might have been the store yeah
yeah i feel like i saw you in the green room back there one time like before uh that could be that could be might have been before uh brewer went on yeah
i think because we knew you as um you know ken collins friend and i knew well yeah you ran with
him and when you run with him you know you're really running. I have not heard that name in a long time.
Ken Collins.
I could.
I really could, too, because it's so funny.
But, yeah, I think that it, like, re-loops after, like, an hour or something like that.
The fact that they're just able to have, like, that vapid or, like, that level of conversation is hilarious.
Brilliantly done.
Fuck.
Funny ass dudes.
The fucking office
is buzzing today.
Yeah.
What's going on?
There's a buzz.
There is a buzz.
Sure.
There's a buzz.
You feel it, I feel it.
Because the freaking nose
is back, man.
When was the last time he was in here?
A couple months.
It's got to be a couple months.
Jay, I can't believe you had pie this weekend again.
That shit was truly fucking...
Two weekends in a row.
Non-holiday pies.
Unplanned.
I could not believe that. Two weekends in a row. Crazy-holiday pies. Unplanned. I could not believe that.
Two weekends in a row.
Kyle, did you eat anything weird?
I had skate fish
at the fish market yesterday.
It's mostly cartilage.
Very hard to eat.
Have you guys ever had a skate pie?
It's British
as hell sounding. Skate pie?
Yeah, they probably put the worst fish
possible in a pie. Very American.
The skate fish was so
hard to eat. You couldn't
even use a fork.
It's just like a traditional fish though, isn't it?
It's like a... No, no.
Opposite. The skate fish is
actually, it resembles like a stingray.
It's a ray. Are you eating the
bottom part? Or is it just like the wings. It's a ray. Are you eating the bottom part?
Or is it just the wings?
It's like whitefish.
Or crab meat.
Are you eating the smile?
Do you see how stingray is like smile?
It's very cute.
It's not a stingray.
He just said it was like a stingray.
Very, very common misconception.
It is actually not a stingray.
I know it's not.
Can you eat a smile? Oh, yeah.
I mean, have you seen the stingray smile?
You mean mouth?
You've never eaten a smile?
Oh, the smile's the best part.
Can you eat a mouth?
Or are we just thinking of a mouth as like the void?
You could probably eat lips.
It's like a lap.
Jay, you eat lips.
Look at that.
All the time.
All the fucking time I do.
What did you do for Metallica?
Oh, yeah, I forgot.
You went to Metallica twice.
Yeah, are you hungover?
Drinking beers, smoking cigs.
Yeah, no, I was having a good time.
You smoked ciggies?
I did yesterday, yeah.
Just one.
How was it?
Delightful.
I got a text from my mom after.
Are you a secret smoker? No, just doing. I got a text from my mom after.
Are you a secret smoker?
No, just doing it to cause a little ruckus online.
I thought Asian cultures were more into smoking. You put back...
Oh, they are.
Yeah, they love smoking.
But I'm like, what?
You would have made her proud as hell.
What were you smoking?
Spirits, Marlboros, Newports, Camels?
It was a menthol.
I don't know what kind, but it was my first ever menthol.
Interesting.
They suck.
What a rush on the lungs, huh?
Not good for...
Very interesting.
Catch a buzz from it?
Not really.
I don't think I was really doing it right, to be honest.
How'd the boys in Metallica sound?
Good.
Good, real good.
They did two hours 15 on Friday and then a little over two hours last night.
A lot of hits.
Didn't do encores either night, but...
James' voice hold up?
Yep. Wasn't flat
like a skate?
Skate fish?
It wasn't. James Hetfield sounded incredible.
Top songs?
They played the number one song I went to hear yesterday,
Memory Remains. They played Enter Sandman last
night, which was awesome.
His voice is still strong?
Yeah. Doesn't tail off like
a skate fish?
How does Enter Sandman go?
Enter Night, Exit Light?
Yeah.
Enter Light! Yeah. that type of shit
those are naturals
yeah they closed with that last night
how many beers did you put down
like a fuck ton or
no not too many
because I drove both nights
so first night like two
second night like
three
just enough to get the job done
three and a half
three tall boys
tall boys yeah
three tall boys
and a drive home?
That's sixer.
That was like five hours in between.
Damn, Jake.
Oh, they were like 16 ounces or 18, whatever.
18-ounce beers and then a drive home.
And a ciggy.
Talk about a perfect night.
You must have been swimming.
No, I had popcorn.
A little sauce and peppers. Follow the line in the middle of the road. Yeah, I had popcorn. Oh, okay.
A little sausage and peppers.
Follow the line in the middle of the road.
Yeah, it was a good time.
That was the number one band I wanted to see live that I hadn't before,
and they did not disappoint. What's the new number one?
Sting?
No.
Ray Charles?
Hey, let me hear.
Steve, you rave on?
New number one.
I don't know.
I mean, they're going to Chicago next year, so I'd like to see them there.
Oh, it's Metallica again.
Yeah.
It doesn't count.
Chili Peppers.
You've seen them, though.
I've seen them many times.
Who's your new number one that I haven't seen? Any young cats that you've been keeping up with?
I don't think I know any new music after 2014.
What about on your TikTok, Algo?
That's where all the new music's bubbling up anyway.
Is that true?
Any song or sound you hear
is probably just a new song that's on the charts.
Oh, the Margarita song?
Yeah, Jimmy Buffett?
No.
I like Jimmy Buffett.
I'd see Jimmy Buffett. No. I like Jimmy Buffett. I'd see Jimmy Buffett.
There you go.
TikTok algorithms
are all just slideshows
of best sex doll porn stars.
What, dude?
Yeah.
I don't know what happened.
You can buy sex dolls
that are porn stars?
I think Mook has the login as well.
Yeah, they make like
fleshlight molds
of porn stars' vaginas.
How the fuck would anybody know that?
They've been doing that since the 90s with Jenna Jameson.
Yeah.
You can buy their pussy.
How do you clean stuff like that?
I think you boil it in water.
Yeah.
Like a mouth guard.
Like a paintball gun.
Throw it in the dishwasher.
If they can clean off a corrugated steel skillet, they can clean off your floppy rubber dildo.
You just throw it right in the dishwasher?
Oh, yeah.
My flashlight's like a cast iron skillet.
Oh, yeah, you season it.
Is this pre-seasoned?
It smells like someone cooked fish on this.
I scape it.
I had it last night. How was that? It smells like someone cooked fish on this. I skate fit. I had it last night.
How was that? It was unique.
It was more unique than it was good or bad.
What kind of season?
Were you full afterwards?
Yeah, because I had ten chicken wings.
Okay. The skate couldn't fill you up.
I couldn't get enough off.
Is it like a dipping sauce?
You have a soy or ginger?
It was a crazy sauce I went along with.
That was the best part.
Those are capers on it.
Which one did it look like?
Was it raw?
Was it grilled?
Sometimes all you need is a lemon.
Could you survive off of it, skate or die?
Would you be able to live off of it?
If you had to go skate or hummus?
You'd have one to live off of forever. Which one do you think you could live off of it? If you had to go skate or hummus? You'd have one to live off of forever.
Which one do you think you could live off of better?
That's such an equal.
They're equal.
I think you'd have to go skate.
Skate, fish, meat.
I would have to get the meat from the skate.
But the chickpeas also have protein.
You'd have to get the meat from the skate fish?
Ew.
I always forgot about the chickpeas. Gross. You'd have to get the meat from the skate fish? Ew. Oh, you're getting robbed by a skate rose.
I gotta see how fucking skate fish is meat now.
I'm on keto right now.
You are?
Yeah.
For how many days?
Two hours.
Okay, not bad.
Have you peed on the strips yet?
No.
I had a bunch of extra strips when I left my last apartment.
I threw them out.
I would have brought them over.
No strips?
Yeah, I would have brought them to you.
Does it say if you're in ketosis or not?
I think so.
Very interesting.
They were completely full.
I don't think you've ever used them.
That's like a state of mind.
Yeah.
That was like in your blood.
It's like an empire state of mind.
Apparently once you enter ketosis, you just start shedding off pounds.
Yeah.
It's also terrible for you, right?
It's hard to get into. I got a friend who's in ketosis right now. He start shedding off pounds. Yeah. It's also terrible for you, right? It's hard to get into.
I got a friend who's in
ketosis right now. He's lost 40 pounds.
What? Yeah. What's his
name? Derek Drescher.
Oh. Good for him.
Friend? Yes. Good friend.
A lot of people are losing weight.
A lot of people are. Making it look easy.
After that Lizzo shit, we found out
it's not cool to be fat anymore
uh it was cool for a little bit but not that you find out that they're all dicks yeah
have you been in the gym no not on keto either oh my god no shit dude have a nice healthy dinner
and breakfast though would you have skate skate believe it or not oh my god skate sandwich though
much easier to eat.
Yeah.
Like a po' boy?
I'm going to look that up.
I feel like a skate po' boy would be nice.
Oh, yeah.
Fried skate.
Damn, that sounds nice.
No, I don't know.
I had some rice and salmon last night.
Very nice.
Very nice.
You must be really self-conscious about how your body looks.
A little edamame as well.
Oh, there's a skate sandwich.
At Latuna?
Lieutenant Ahuna.
Lieutenant Ahuna.
That's got to be Hawaiian, right?
Love a good fish sandwich.
Same.
I'd go blackened fish sandwich tonight.
Really?
Homemade?
Huh?
Homemade?
No.
Dumb question.
Yeah, because you can't cook fish inside.
You can't do fish in a New York apartment.
Apartment.
I've done that a hundred times.
Yeah, and your pillow probably smells like fucking underwater.
Oh, the odor.
I forgot about the odor.
I took a shower, a skate.
Still smell all over my fingers.
Yeah.
Still? Watch the new season of Black Mirror. Oh, yeah?. I forgot about the odor. I took a shower, skate, still smell all over my fingers. Yeah. Still?
Watched the new season of Black Mirror.
Oh, yeah?
What'd you think?
I watched only one episode.
Interesting.
It got a lot of hate, but I loved it.
I thought it was good.
Which episode?
No, Striking Vipers, but it's good.
Locke Henry.
It was spooky as fuck.
It was scarier than any scary movie I've seen in a while.
What's the episode about?
There's a couple new scary movies out right now.
A Scottish murder documentary.
There's like a new Insidious out, and then there's a new A24 movie.
Yeah, that looks good.
Looks good, but it's only in theaters right now.
It's made by YouTubers.
Whoa.
Really?
The scariest people of all.
The Rocka Rocka Twins.
Australian?
Yeah.
The Rocka Rocka Twins? Not Rocka Rocka Twins. Australian? Yeah. The Rocka Rocka Twins.
Not Rocka Rocka Alley.
That's okay.
Different YouTuber.
The Rocka Rocka Twins.
Is Mr. Beast,
I thought Mr.,
so I saw this morning
that Mr. Beast is being sued
for like $100 million,
but I thought he was suing them.
He'll probably counter sue.
Is it like a back and forth? If I know Jimmy. If I know Jimmy. Each other? thought he was suing them. He'll probably counter-sue. Is it like a back-and-forth?
If I know Jimmy. If you can sue each other?
Who's he suing?
I guess it's like the whole, the people that
distributed the Mr. Beast Burger.
I guess it was not up to quality.
And he's got a class action
lawsuit against him? I think, right? TJ.
Are you familiar? Yeah, you just
gotta be careful here, because they also do.
Pardon my cheesesteak.
Oh, okay.
So we know which side we're on?
I didn't know that.
I mean, I don't know how I would know that.
We know exactly which side we're on.
Obviously.
Fuck Mr. Beast.
Fuck him.
He sucks himself off a lot.
No, we're on his side.
We're on his side?
Yes.
Oh.
Oh, fuck. We're the his side? Yes Oh Oh fuck
Oh yeah let's go Mr.
He's one of the most
I don't think we are
Yes we are
I don't think we're on Beast's side
I think he's going against our side
Brother
He is?
Wrong
Dammit I need something
We're in trouble
I just got an email from Blattman
God dammit
Tell me what you said about Beast isn't true
A part of we're on his side Don't you God dammit I Tell me what you said about Beast isn't true. A part of we're on his side, don't you?
God damn it.
I tried to save you, but you were past the point of saving.
I'm a born idiot.
What the fuck am I going to do, man?
Yeah, and people think you could lead us.
Yeah.
Fucking lemmings.
Lead us off a cliff.
And daddy work like a mule selling by counting.
No, that would be smart.
Like you'd be much happier.
Like now you travel
and have delicious foods
and make comedy.
You should start
and you should stop doing that
and start firing people.
Kind of guilt at you.
You have to do that now.
I felt no guilt.
Yeah.
It's and it's such a blessing
for for the company
to not be power hungry
Fewer power hungry people
Is so much better for everybody
Yeah
I'm trying to take over this bitch
Yeah
Sink it
What's the first thing you'd do?
Oh man
Basketball court obviously
In New York
I thought you were trying to sink it
Not make it the greatest content factory of all time
Jesus Christ
Picture this
A basketball court with no cameras.
Again?
I know, I got to piss too.
I have to pee too.
We'll take shifts.
I call second.
Sorry, Nick.
Damn it.
No shoes, Nick?
I just won't talk.
No shoes, Nick?
No.
Nice.
Look at these little ones.
You all packed up, brother?
Yeah.
Yeah?
I am.
How's it looking?
Good?
I guess good.
How's your packed up stuff look?
Fucking, it looks sick.
Good boxes?
You guys got to come over.
What kind of boxes are you working with?
We got the Amazon, just the moving pack.
Amazon Classics.
16 boxes, tape, and a marker.
Very nice.
Marker is very important.
And instead, a little fun I was having.
Okay.
You've got to have fun while moving.
I'm all ears.
Little victories.
Let's say this box had my shoes.
Instead of writing shoes, I would draw a picture of a shoe.
Very, very creative.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now that's funny.
I really like that idea.
I have a little box that has my hats.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say, I think you drew a hat.
I drew a hat on it.
What did you do for the sock box?
I don't have a sock box.
Fuck.
Not yet.
Are you bringing your socks?
You have a whole box for socks?
Rowan has so many socks.
I've never seen him wear the same pair twice.
I throw them out immediately.
That's a good idea.
I'm trying some grays right now.
Not your style. I'll be the first to Good idea. I'm trying some grays right now. Not your style.
I'll be the first to say it.
Fuck.
Should have gone whites.
God damn it.
Gray on white, it's like,
guy, what are you thinking?
Shut up.
Just worry about you.
White on black looks like that Charleston
or that Montgomery fight.
Yeah.
What side would you guys jump in on if you were there? Definitely the culture side. Yeah. What side would you guys
jump in on
if you were there?
Definitely the culture side.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I mean,
you know the drill for me.
I'm on the culture side.
Would you rather be
on the hunting side
or the culture side?
So the two genres
we have here.
Oh, God bless America.
And there's no way to combine it.
Oh, no.
No crossover can happen.
Traylon Burks, the...
Hottest guy on the Titans.
Hottest guy on the Titans receiver who was picked in the first round last year.
You think there's somebody hotter on the Titans?
Tannehill?
Tannehill's not hotter.
I agree.
I think Traylon Burks is the hottest.
Like, physically?
Yeah.
He runs hot.
No, he's the best looking. He's the hottest dude.
Oh.
Now that Dennis Kelly's off the team.
Yeah, I'll go through the roster.
Go through the roster. We'll come back to it.
Give us your top three.
Go through the whole roster in picture form.
Hottest Titans.
I will do the same.
Why don't we just pull it up right here?
Yeah, let's pull it up.
We know the answer.
It's Traylon Burks.
He's a culture guy that does hunting.
Will Lovell's the handsome devil.
He boar hunts.
More than Traylon Burks?
No.
Now we know which side that he'd be fighting on.
Yep.
But he boar hunts with a knife and a dog.
He hunts wild boars with just a knife.
I think Arkansas.
Who the fuck is Aziz Alshair?
Oh.
What?
He's a good player.
He's been in the Niners.
Levis.
I think Tannehill should be in the conversation.
Yeah, he could potentially be top three. He's in the conversation. He's been in the Niners. Levis. I think Tannehill should be in the conversation. Yeah, he could potentially be top three.
He's in the conversation.
Julius Chestnut.
Kevin Byard's way better looking than Traylon Burks.
No.
Yes.
No, no.
Keep going.
Yeah, you're wasting my time.
Yeah, thank you, TJ.
Oh, yeah. Traylon.
Oh, woo-ga.
Best line.
Gavin Holmes.
Oh, D-Hop.
Oh, no.
Got good bone structure in the face.
Yeah. I'm not seeing Reggie
no
Nick no
skip past the line
no
no
yeah yeah he's got alright let's see on the defense Oh, no.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's got... All right, let's see on the defense.
He's not even top three.
Traylon Burks, is he?
Top three on the team?
Yeah.
You sound so...
You don't know football.
Oh, whoa, whoa.
Who's that?
Who's Chance Campbell?
Okay, no.
Traylon's got him.
But you get where I was coming from.
I get where you're coming from, for sure.
Who's Monty Rice?
Monty Rice.
Is this like a thing?
No, no, no.
People think Traylon Burks is really hot?
I don't know.
No.
There's a guy who does TikToks,
and he has his girlfriend rank the hottest player on every NBA team.
That's why.
And he picks it as well.
They're very funny.
They're hilarious.
I'm good.
Went away.
Evaporated.
Okay, so who are your top three then, Che?
Levis, Kevin Byard, and who's the guy down here?
No, bro.
Trayvon Wesko.
No.
It'll be the U guy.
Levis is not hotter than Trayvon Burks.
By a lot.
You're factoring in that he's a quarterback.
By a lot?
By a lot?
You're thinking about him as a quarterback and a B-mock,
not as just a handsome guy in the wild.
No, I'm just looking at faces.
Well, I think that we have to bring in some ladies on this one.
Ladies and gays.
I might be with Che.
You're looking at Levis?
Traylon Burks doesn't even like that good looking if we're being real.
Pull up a photo of Traylon Burks.
Hold this shit up.
What team are we talking about? I'm going off his yearbook photo.
You guys are glazing.
No, we're not glazing.
You think Levis is better looking?
Levis, Kevin Byard, and
Trayvon Wesko.
I'm asking KB now.
I don't know.
Look at his light eyes.
That's a good pick.
His line is perfect.
He has light eyes, dewy skin.
He's fucking jacked out the water.
He's super dewy.
He's not like
Odell Beckham, though.
He's not on the Titans.
He's got a bit of a unibrow.
He's not like Hertz.
Hertz is super fly. He's not like Hurts. Hurts is super fly.
He's not like Travis Kelsey.
If Hurts is a 9.5, he's a 7.
Okay.
A 7 is the team leader.
So you think Bayard more than him?
Yeah, 100%.
Yes.
5'11"?
Okay.
Levis?
Stop, stop, stop.
And I love Levis.
That's a Penn State guy
Levis is just an average Joe
Dude, Levis is a handsome guy
He's pretty handsome
That's not a guy you'd see and you'd be turning heads
With his frame
Not cracking necks
But same with Traylon Burks' frame
Traylon Burks has a better frame than Levis
Dude, all these guys are super jacks
You can even take that out
Jack's not in right now How about 8 inches and thick? frame than Levin's. Dude, all these guys are super jacked, so I don't think it's... You can even take that out of it. I'm just going off headshots.
Jack doesn't trust me.
How about eight inches and thick?
Like that skate last night?
Oh, fuck.
Skate, dude. I guess...
Wait a minute. Wesco? Look at his ears, dude.
Look at his nose, dude.
Who's talking about Wesco?
This guy looks like the weekend's deformed older brother.
I have a slightly different picture of Wesco.
Bank ass last name.
I've been playing with myself
still. What? More videos
have emerged of you fucking with
my shit in my pocket. Wait, what do you mean?
You're always on the piece.
What do you mean playing with yourself? He's just touching his dick.
Also, Clips, the focal point
is me... Readjusting?
Touching my shit. Or you're just readjusting i mean
i think i don't know there's a kid i went to grade school with that would just be like readjusting
and fucking let everybody know i think that we if you have to readjust you have to readjust there's
no shame in that i think it's important to call out though to let everyone know hey i'm not
masturbating right now yeah readjusting yeah i'm soft readjusting fully soft fully, readjusting. Readjusting. Fully soft. Fully soft. Readjusting.
Here's also the guy that would be like
safety. Oh yeah.
He would fart like doorknobs.
What was the safety thing for? I forgot about that.
Safety was you couldn't, no one could call shit
on you. It was like you could fart with impunity.
And what was doorknobs?
You called doorknob on someone before they
called safety. Then you go punch them.
Right. Socializing was just permanently being cautious of getting hurt physically.
Because you could get your nuts smashed.
You could get a school.
We had no slaps or spikes.
The football field.
Anywhere.
You're going to get hurt.
That was us just guys being guys.
Not the case.
This next generation doesn't have any of that.
Nope.
Bunch of goddamn softies.
Look around.
Ordering fish that's easy to eat.
They can't rip through a skate with their bare hands.
How much strength did you have to use?
What percentage?
I had to fucking tug and tug.
What muscles were you engaging though?
Just pieces of pulp out of it.
Really?
I think you've been practicing every single day on the yard.
Yeah.
Balls should have evolved to not stick to the leg.
Oh, yeah.
Mine stick.
Mine are stuck right now.
Man should be able to produce a natural talc.
Oh, powder?
Mm-hmm.
It's a great feeling, though, unsticking them.
Sure.
Well, so do balls sweat because they overheat?
I don't know.
That's got to be it, right?
Unless they're nervous.
I wonder how the Europeans do it.
They have to be the stickiest because they're in the tight denim shorts, the tourists.
Maybe the tight shorts are to create...
All they do is drink coffee and smoke cigarettes.
They're probably just sweating constantly.
From their ass crack.
Yeah.
Their shit isn't even cut.
Oh, yeah.
Rector's edition.
Yeah.
Maybe that's what Schmegma does.
They're putting down like 400 milligrams of caffeine and then just ripping, then chain-smoking cigs.
Yeah, with tight-ass jean shorts that are still cuffed.
Yeah.
I've been seeing tons of European tourists wearing like American flag gear and shit like that.
Brother, you're not fooling anyone.
You think you're going to get one past me?
I know you.
Europeans wear shoes that are the exact size of their foot.
Yeah, they do.
They're like perfectly the exact size of their foot.
No wiggle room.
Grink, grink, grink.
Squeaky ass fucking European shoes.
The polo shirt with the American flag on the sleeve.
It's not your country, brother.
I'll go to Brazil wearing the fucking Brazil flag.
They're also super perverted, and they're, like, proud of it.
It's pretty interesting.
Italians especially.
Italians.
French.
Italians, French.
Anywhere you'd like to go on vacation, they've made their bones by being pervert countries.
Oh, yeah.
Germans are like mean and perverted.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
That's a good podcast name.
Mean and perverted.
Now it's time to get extremely mean.
That's the way for girls.
What?
Being mean as hell online.
What type of mean you mean?
Guys, too.
Everyone's mean.
If you take breaks from Twitter, then go back on, you're like, wow, this is a mean fest.
Oh, yeah.
Everyone's hating.
A lot of haters these days.
Even the good people.
Even the funny people Even like the funny people
They'll like
Tell you
What to hate
And how much to hate
Yeah
And it works
And I'm like
Oh fuck I'm mad too
Yeah
And you're like
A little bit embarrassed
That you don't hate
That thing as much
Oh fuck I was supposed
To be hating that
I was hating the inverse
And they tell me
No you gotta hate this
And I'm like yes
Okay okay perfect
Everybody's mean and mad.
They just need to help New York office redesign.
It'll be better.
All will be good.
That shook me up.
Here comes Prez.
Should we ask him about the New York office?
What do you think?
Yeah, let's ask him.
What about the Miami office?
Yeah, what's ever happened with that?
I thought Clemmer was supposed to go down there.
LA office with
Lowe.
Is Lowe out in LA permanently?
Yeah, he's like an employee.
Interesting. So what, is he going to
fly back to Chicago or New York to do The Dozen?
Or was The Dozen, The Dozen's always been over
Zoom. Mostly over Zoom, yeah.
Very interesting.
Very, very interesting very very interesting
Sass how do you like
your new desk
I haven't even seen mine
damn
wait till you see it
I heard someone else
moved in on it though
like a little hermit crab
yeah
I've been sitting at KFC's
really
yeah
don't tell him
he's gonna be pissed
I'm gonna tell him
I know
Well
Anus is still under comedy
Is it?
For now
For now
You guys are gonna learn how to
Use a bow knife
You guys are gonna fucking hunt
Yeah we gotta get out of comedy
Knife chain
Oh yeah you bought that knife chain.
The fuck?
Yeah.
What the hell?
Where'd you get that from?
Zoom in on that.
Street fair.
Where at?
Which one?
Was it a bazaar?
Is it dull as hell?
Psych, yeah.
It's not my wave.
That sake almost had me craving everything.
Yeah?
It's crazy when you get back to booze.
It's like, I want it all.
That's what...
Started zinning again.
Yeah.
Started sweating hard again.
Yes.
How do you feel, though?
Skipping showers, skipping workouts.
Skipping the cold showers.
It's crazy how much...
My cold showers aren't cold enough.
My whoop is telling me I'm not even getting my stress level.
It isn't even going to the mid-level.
I'm on the same boat.
We need some plunges, I think.
I heard Chicago's good.
No.
But I do need a plunge badly, dude.
Because I didn't...
But, I mean, I did a cold shower,
and it was, like, the first day that I, like,
sweat profusely all summer.
Right?
Yes, it changed everything.
Even like people get pissed
like dude,
stop talking about cold showers.
Fuck off dude,
I need to to make myself
feel better about myself.
It makes me happier
and I'm trying to spread that.
Wait,
Mr. Sparky has blue eyes.
No he doesn't.
No.
Solomon Islands.
I swear to God,
I had a deep conversation
with him the other day
and he has blue eyes.
Does he converse without singing?
Yes, he was like, how can I get to the paper?
The paper?
Oh.
He was like, when will Barstool start paying me?
Oh, he wants a contract.
Does he have social media?
He could do like a freelance.
That's what I said.
I was like, you've got to be open to multiple things.
I was like, what are you looking for?
He wants that bag, though.
But then I saw he had blue eyes, and I was like, he might fucking get it.
He might get that bag.
I think we could put together like 50 bucks in appearance.
He's only in here for like two minutes at a time.
That's a pretty good 50.
I know.
What does that extrapolate to per hour?
30 times. A lot. $6, What does that extrapolate to per hour? 30 times.
A lot.
$6,000 an hour?
$600 an hour?
I can get it.
We could.
$6,000.
We're not.
What if we told him we could pay him $6,000 an hour?
I think he'd be into it.
But look at his eyes.
They're blue as hell.
I will.
They're bluer than yours, honestly.
Doubt it. No, I swear to God they are. You got blue as hell. I will. They're bluer than yours, honestly. Doubt it.
I swear to God they are.
You got blue eyes, Nicky?
Are you kidding me?
I thought you had browns.
I thought you had cultures.
Nah, man.
Those are haunting eyes.
You never gazed into those beautiful blues?
Damn, you do got beautiful blues.
Wait until you see Mr. Sparky's, though. Well, his is the... It's a better shade beautiful blues. Damn, you do got beautiful blues. Wait till you see Mr. Sparky's though.
Well, his is the...
It's a better shade of blue.
No, no, it's just better shade of blue.
Yours is more gray to it.
His is a pure...
His is pop more.
Damn, Nick.
What the fuck?
You look tough though.
You do look tough as hell.
Thanks, guys.
Get angry.
I've been.
You have?
Yeah.
Been running Nate's Twitter?
I don't want to talk about it.
I just want to tweet about it.
But don't ask any questions.
I know.
Why wouldn't he tell us?
He knows what he's doing.
He fucking...
You can't act like...
He flipped it on you. Yeah. You can't act like... I know. What an what he's doing. He fucking flipped it on you.
Yeah.
That was an audible.
Crazy move.
But you can't act like you want the pot stirred,
and then it's like, okay, air your grievances.
No.
I'm not going to say.
I would do that.
Oh, me too.
But you wouldn't act like you want the pot stirred.
I've never heard you be like,
we need someone around here to hold motherfuckers accountable.
No.
Because you know you'd be first in line to be held accountable.
Hell no.
Lately I've been out...
Do you guys go to Chicago tomorrow?
Yeah.
Yeah.
They have the show from out there tomorrow.
Good shit.
Early?
Early, yeah.
You're going to look at your apartment or you already have it?
I have it.
Oh, nice.
I heard you got
a basketball court
in there, too.
Uh, half.
On Out and About,
Pat was talking about
you showing him
your apartment
and that it ruled
that it looks
fucking amazing.
Oh, no.
I've been showing him
a...
I showed him one
that's not mine.
Really?
Like $9,000 a month. Yeah, he reported that as if it were Oh, no. I've been showing him a... I showed him one that's not mine. Just was like... Really?
Like $9,000 a month.
Yeah, he reported that as if it were the exact news.
All I do is fuck with him.
Every time, like, I always send him, like, scales, Amazon links to, like, weight scales.
Like, I try to... I'm gaslighting him to think he's fat.
I mean, he is.
Oh, no, he's big.
I think Chicago must be a massive apartment.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
That's what you can get Michael Jordan's house for.
Yeah.
Nine racks.
Mortgage-wise.
Yeah.
30-year.
This shit is just on fucking Zillow normal.
It's just sitting there on Zillow.
MJ's?
Yeah.
I wonder what the vetting process is for, like, going to the open house, though.
Yeah, I don't know.
Some people might have, uh, ideas.
I'm sure you could just go.
There's no way.
I didn't want to say.
He's purposely not looking at us.
You got him?
I think I have him.
God damn it.
I had him for a second, but I lost him.
You guys say hi to Dave when he came in?
Yep.
I haven't seen him yet.
Seen him.
I'm sure we'll catch up.
He came in with a rolly suitcase. I gave him a fist
pound. We didn't have
to say much. No.
Well, well, well.
Look what the
fucking cat dragged in. Aren't you a sight
for sore eyes?
Come sit
your ass down.
It's like we never catch up anymore.
Catch up.
The 411 DP.
Hit me.
Oh my god.
We're so busy these days, man.
It's like we never
just get to chop it up.
When am I coming out
to Montauk?
Thinking about bringing
the kids out there
for a weekend.
Just let them run around.
The youngest is just really so much energy right now.
Did I show you pictures?
I showed you pictures, right?
I showed you my youngest, right?
Dave Jr.?
Young, young page views?
Youngest little page views.
I hope to have some page views myself someday.
I hope to have a couple page views running around.
Y'all, stop.
The kids never get to see their uncle.
They're asking.
Keep on asking, where's Uncle Davey?
Tell him he's busy.
When's the last time any of you three got on the floor and played with a child?
I don't even know if I ever have.
No.
My boy Cleve brought over his two kids.
Those two rascals.
Yeah.
And I was playing with them on the floor.
There's a lot of Cleve stories you've told, but a lot you haven't either.
Yeah.
Who the hell is Cleve?
It's like my best friend growing up.
Did he go under a semi-truck?
Nope.
Okay.
Like the first Fast and the Furious movie?
I thought that was him.
Like a car accident?
Yeah, that survived because it went under a semi-truck.
Maybe ask him.
Really?
I think he might have.
Maybe you don't know him as well as you think you do.
You don't know Cleave?
Me and Cleave. I know.
Me and Cleve have matching tattoos.
Matching swastika tattoos.
Yeah.
These would be hell of ironic.
It would be.
Oh, is he Jewish?
Yeah.
Nice.
He's black.
Oh.
So his first name is Cleveland.
Yeah.
Can't be a white guy named Cleveland.
True. I don't make the rules. I'm just reporting white guy named Cleveland. True.
I don't make the rules.
I'm just reporting what the rules are.
You just follow them.
All right, city names, white or black.
Boston.
White.
What do you mean?
No, Mr. Like four families?
No, no, for a person.
For a person.
Their first name is Austin?
Because Mr. Boston, remember Mr. Boston?
Yeah, but Boston Scott.
I think it's more white, though. Okay. Yeah, I Mr. Boston, remember Mr. Boston? Yeah, but Boston Scott. I think it's more white, though.
Okay.
Yeah, I agree.
Austin or, yeah.
Austin, white.
New York?
Black.
Black.
Black.
Woman, though.
Like, I love New York.
The lady.
Lil Rock?
New York.
New York Oh fuck
Duluth
Duluth is
Isn't white
Des Moines
Des Moines
Des Moines is definitely black.
But it's like W.E. Dubois black.
Yeah.
The boys, I should say.
Charleston.
Black.
Rochester.
Neither. I think white. Oh, yeah, yeah. Rochester. Neither.
I think white.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Rochester.
Welcome home, Sion.
Huntsville.
Thank you, Rochester.
White, obviously.
Yeah.
I mean, Hunt is in the name.
This is fun.
I'm going to think of more cities St. Louis
St. is black
What about Louis?
Could go either way
This is more white
Phoenix white
Yeah
White girl
Yeah
Famous New York
Oh boy Yeah Famous New York Eagles left the nest
Alright boys
Now we
Let's get the fuck out of here
Seriously
Everybody was in today
Everybody was fucking
Packed in here today
Except for Gazzo
Back to the gills
Speaking of acting here today. Except for Gazzo. Back to the gills.
Speaking of which.
Why don't you get a crew of people that just have city names?
I want to get one forever.
I'll give some.
Who are the most famous?
There's Austin.
Harris Hilton.
Brooklyn Decker. Brooklyn Decker.
Brooklyn Decker.
Austin Mahone.
Austin Butler.
I think it's so funny when people say Paris, France.
Oh, that doesn't sound right at all.
Who says that?
What do you mean?
Like when someone's like, I've been to Paris, France.
Like, I'm going to a bunch of cities, like Barcelona, Paris, France.
Oh, do people do that?
I think when any time... Isn cities like Barcelona, Paris, France. Do people do that?
I think anytime.
Isn't that a song lyric too?
Like Paris, France, New York, or Rome?
It makes it seem like Paris, France, New York, Rome.
I say Paris.
Yeah.
Gay Paris. Gay Paris.
Orlando Bloom.
Eugene Levy.
Yeah, I think the name is more of a name.
Eugene.
Yeah, like Gary.
He must be named after the city.
Who always fell in the sewer in Hey Arnold.
Yeah.
I'm all right.
I'm okay.
Charlotte Church.
The driver of the Move Avenger.
Bristol Palin.
These are some good ones. These are some good ones.
These are some good shits.
Incredibly good shits.
Great.
All right.
All right, boys.
Wrap it up?
Yeah, we could wrap it up.
You want to spin the wheel?
High noon.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know where my prep sheet is.
You don't even need it, though.
Oh, yeah.
High noon tequila seltzer. It is an absolute staple. I had a know where my prep sheet is. You don't even need it, though. Oh, yeah. High Noon Tequila Seltzer.
It is an absolute staple.
I had a friend visit me this weekend.
What was his name?
Christos.
Was he Greek?
He is.
He has a Greek last name, too, but I don't want to dox him.
But I don't think he'd mind because he loved the High Noon that I was giving him.
And I'm a household that likes both kinds.
But lately, I've been all over those tequila seltzers.
Oh my gosh, are they good.
100 calories, gluten-free.
But more important than anything,
that shit doesn't matter unless it's delicious.
And sure enough, it truly is delicious.
Highnoonspirits.com.
You can find some near you or go to Drizzly
or at your local convenience or liquor store.
Find some High Noons.
Pour it up, drink it down.
Forget it, man.
That ish is awesome.
High Noon.
Find some near you today.
Hell yes.
Hell yes.
Motherfucking yes.
Let's go to Carbone.
Hell yes.
I'll return.
Nope. L again. Motherfucking yes Let's go to Carbone Hell yeah All right Yeah Nope
L again
We are never gonna go
All right boys
We'll have fun in Chicago
See you guys
Next week
In October
Next week
Oh shit yeah
Back next week
Action packed week
Is that next week?
Yeah Oh no no no No it ain'tpacked week. Is that next week? Yeah.
No, no, no, no, it's not.
No, it ain't?
No, it's not.
It's the week after.
So next week is regular?
Next week is regular.
Let's prep some stuff for next week.
Hell no.
Yeah, I got some ideas.
It feels like more of a Chicago guy thing.
Yeah, you're right.
It's New York, boys.
We're just all in for the end of the ride.
Let's do a live office redesign
next week
with the brain trust.
Yeah.
All right, cool.
I love you guys.
Hey, I love you guys.
I don't say it enough.
You don't say it enough.
We'll figure out
what's going on on Friday.
It might make sense
to do it in Chicago.
I'll be there on Friday.
You will.
It might make sense to do it in Chicago.
I can get my boy Cleveland to do it.
Yeah.
I didn't hear you,
but I caught a wind of what you're saying via the we'll talk.
Yeah.
Perfect.
All right.
See you guys tomorrow.
Yep. Perfect. All right, see you guys tomorrow. Yep.
Peace.
Peace.
Peace. It's the act. It's the act.
Yeah, it's time to stock shop and do a Yankees pop.
It's the act.
It's the act.