The Yak - The Latest Barstool Feud Gets Personal | The Yak 3-21-22
Episode Date: March 21, 2022Rico or Tate?You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Or Casey. Casey Smith.
Okay.
Who's JoJo?
JoJo the fucking singer.
Is his mic on?
We're good.
Is my mic on?
Yeah, yeah, good.
Tommy, just sit there awkwardly.
I think that's the best use of you.
It's the Yak.
This is the collection of people we have come up with today.
Motley Crue.
It's Pat, Kyle, Jordan, Joey, and Robbie Fox.
Hey, Tommy.
We really got to boost my mic off.
You can shut his mic off.
A T-booster?
Would you like a T-shot, Tommy?
I think you could benefit.
I used to do T-shots in middle school because I wasn't in puberty
Really? 9th grade 10th grade something around there. That's not middle school. It's how we should me too You're an adult. I got I got him in my ass. Yeah, I got him for the entirety of eighth grade
Are you serious? Is that why you guys are so small? No, I was so small. That's why I got the shots
Yeah, but I feel like that's why Bailey Carlin had depression because he got tee shots
Well, I got shot in the ass as well every day in eighth grade.
What's a T-shot?
Said it was with a cock.
It's the yak.
Okay.
We're all too hot.
How do you make the decision?
So you just get a T-shot when you're in eighth grade?
I feel like eighth grade's early to be doing that.
You know, I was ninth or tenth.
What's a T-shot?
Testosterone. Testosterone.
Testosterone.
Got it.
That's why I wouldn't know.
I'm to the point
where I need to get T-shots
because I'm on the back side.
On the back side.
Yeah, I was in 8th grade.
I was like 75 pounds
and 4 foot 9.
I had the bone density
of an 8-year-old.
I had bone density
that was high.
You guys had osteoporosis
in 8th grade?
I just had brittle bones.
What is it?
Nutella?
She had whittling bone syndrome.
She had to take Boniva like Sally Field promotes.
She's like Jane.
What's the lady, Jane, who does the yogurt commercials?
Jane Fonda?
She's like Jane. She's a hermaphrodite.
Jane Curtis.
Jamie Lee Curtis.
Jamie Lee Curtis.
Jane Fonda's not a hermaphrodite.
Jamie Lee Curtis is a hermaphrodite.
She was born both gender.
Yes, she is.
I know because I was a hermaphrodite as well.
What is the medical term for hermaphrodite or is that it? It's born with
both sets of genitals.
Emily Curtis was born with a penis?
She had the option to either pick boy or girl
and she went with girl which I think was the wrong move.
Jordan has both a vagina and a penis
so that's why she's here today.
That's why I brought you in here today.
A famous actress. I think she made the right move.
Yes she did but she's got that
lesbian haircut. She's she made the right move. No, yes, she did. But she's got that lesbian haircut.
She's very masculine, masculine presenting.
Her tits were great in places.
She was.
Remember that?
Her and who's the other one?
The tall blonde, Jane.
Pacey Smith.
No.
Bina Davis?
Oh, Phyllis McAuliffe.
What?
That's my mother.
Oh, my God. Your mom's Phyllis? Yeah.iffe. What? That's my mother. Oh, my God.
Your mom's Phyllis?
Yeah.
That's not a great name.
My mom is dead.
All right, a lot has happened over the weekend that we have to recap.
His mother's in heaven.
She got her 72 virgins.
So that's something.
She's a Muslim?
Radical Islam, dear.
Wow.
Are you on drugs?
That's how they always are.
I took magic mushrooms at a wedding.
A lot has happened this weekend.
We have to recap it.
There's so much that's happened in the sports world.
We'll go around the room and start with Robbie.
He was with Patty the Batty.
What happened there?
Patty the Batty picked up a huge win.
Second win in the UFC, UFC London.
Biggest ovation I've ever heard for a UFC fighter.
It was pretty sick.
Afterparty was great. I think we signed Meatball.
Well, we didn't sign Meatball Molly yet, but Dave wants to sign her. Close. Dave immediately
texted me. He was like, I guess I'm negotiating
against myself by putting it out there.
But yeah, she was great at the
afterparty, living it up. Saw her
on Blaze's shoulders. You remember
Blaze from Barstool? She was on
his shoulders eating chicken wings,
fucking throwing chicken wing bones into the crowd.
It was a great time over in London.
It was your first time in London?
Yeah, it was.
How'd you like it?
I liked it a lot.
I did the touristy shit, went to Abbey Road,
walked across the street and stuff.
It's cool.
It's fun.
The food, weird.
They put mayo on fucking everything.
Mayo.
Everything.
Mayo's great.
Yeah, the food...
They have the grossest culture in the world.
There were some things that lived up to
hype. Nando's. Everyone was like, you gotta try Nando's.
Sick. It was like hot chicken
and good fries.
Perry Perry fries, they call them. Good stuff.
But every... You know, chocolate was
great there. The chocolate was really good.
Galaxy bars, yeah.
You have a sausage roll?
No.
What did you pick there?
Yeah.
I don't.
You think they have the grossest culture in the world?
Yes.
In the world?
There are a lot of gross cultures.
We should rank them.
I think they might be.
Are they the ugliest? Number one is gay.
No.
The ugliest in the world?
First teeth, maybe.
Bad hygiene?
It correlates to ugliness. I don't know. No. The ugliest in the world? First teeth, maybe. Bad hygiene?
It correlates to ugliness.
I don't know.
But maybe like an Eastern European.
I don't know.
They don't have ice in their drinks over there either.
So who... I went into this weekend thinking I would split $50,000 if St. Peter's won.
You are splitting.
Regardless, I woke up on Monday and realized that the whole pot is going to be split with everyone who won.
And you had a team of four.
No, three.
Three? So what am I winning?
We all get five grand, I think.
I was acting up at the bar.
I was buying full tables of people who didn't want shots.
I was buying them shots.
I was tipping righteous.
Yeah.
No, we're all getting five grand.
Five grand.
Ten of us. Ten winners. And two of them are the bussing with the boys. Oh, yeah, that getting five grand. Five grand. Ten of us.
Ten winners.
And two of them are the bussing with the boys.
Well, yeah, that's five grand pre-tax.
Yeah, so 2,500 bucks.
So I thought I was going to get 25K.
I made some online pre-tax.
You're going to get 2,500.
We're getting in our asses.
Yeah.
This is not off the books.
I got taxed on my online.
Yeah, you get taxed on it.
Shit.
Yeah.
You should do it under the table next year.
But I'm three for three.
In what?
These competitions.
Really?
You've won all three years?
I won with Wisconsin, I think.
No, they didn't.
They didn't win last year.
Oh, they didn't?
We stole the team from you.
And we did not win with them.
Oh, okay.
So, yeah.
That makes me feel better.
But I think St. Peter's was like the biggest upset ever.
Well, St. Peter's was the biggest upset of the tournament.
I still can't comprehend how that happened. Well, Kentucky's kind of, they were overrated. So's was like the biggest upset ever. Well St. Peter's the biggest upset of the tournament. I still can't comprehend
how that happened.
Well Kentucky's kind of
they were overrated so
it was a good matchup but
then they beat Murray
State.
I can't comprehend the
fact that I had them.
How did you pick them?
Nick picked them.
Nick knows.
Nick does know.
He's like I got St.
Peter's so we're in good
hands.
I was like what's St.
Peter's?
I've actually heard of
St.
Peter's prep because they
had a good wrestling team but not the college. The Peacocks. I used to hang out what's St. Peter's? I've actually heard of St. Peter's Prep because they had a good wrestling team.
Not the college. The Peacocks. I used to hang
out there. St. Peter's? Yep.
My friends
all went to college. I didn't go to college. I went to nail school
as you know, Brandon.
Nail school? And my friends used to go there
so I used to sneak in, pretend I was like
I went there, but then
Lunch Lady. They weren't there in so much so I used to
have to sneak through the window.
How were the gentlemen there
you would sneak through the window
I blew someone out of
a bunk bed there
sorry
and I want to hear a story
about St. Peter's Brin
it's really quick
yeah sure
I was a virgin at the time
and I was nervous
I was at this guy's
this guy's room
and he was
he was queer
and he had bunk beds
and he went into the other room
and I
he said I'll be right back
and I was like
laying in the bed
waiting for him to come back
and I hear like
wrestling like I hear no you weren't back and I was like laying in the bed waiting for him to come back and I hear like wrestling
like I hear
no you weren't hearing that
I hear like
we keep that
we keep that
hetero
this will be our last time
on the yak
no wrestling
feel it
a rapper
I heard a rapper
maybe
maybe rappers
I heard a rapper
are gayer than wrestling
I'm laying there
thinking he's getting a condom
I was like
oh my god
I'm not ready for this
I can't believe it
and I was afraid
he was going to come back
and want to have sex with me
it was actually a nose strip a breathe right strip and I got myself was afraid he was going to come back and want to have sex with me. It was actually a nose strip, a Breathe Right strip.
And I got myself all worked up for nothing.
He actually didn't want to have sex with me.
That's how old you are?
Because Breathe Right strips are only used by people born pre-1985.
True.
Well, we thought they were the wave of the future when they came out.
We thought they were the answer to everything.
Breathe Right strips.
Breathe Right's work.
I'll throw a breathe right on this.
I don't think they do work.
Do they work?
You're going to tape two of them together.
I think they do.
Yeah, they work.
Probably do.
Should I go running?
Pat needs two of them.
I just said that.
I taped two together for this fucking toucan nose.
What else happened this weekend, Tommy?
I had some amazing nachos on Saturday.
From where? How exciting. Broad Street Tavern. Down by you, some amazing nachos on Saturday. From where?
How exciting.
Broad Street Tavern.
Down by you, Kate.
Yeah, yeah.
In Fida,
they put all the nacho topping meat
in a little stew in a pot
and you dipped the chips
in there instead.
I think it's a way better use
of nachos.
Is that a new place?
I don't think so.
First time I've been there.
Chips stay crispy.
Yeah.
And really,
you were able to allocate
how much of the resources you
wanted on each chip um that was really the highlight of my really what you brought to the
table that's more of a a not a queso it's like a yeah it was a skillet it was a skillet it was a
skillet yeah uh joey what are you bringing from motherfucking ohio state just release of yes
anger of a blog?
So apparently he went after it.
I didn't get to read it yet, but I saw the action on it.
You can pull that up, TJ, because I haven't been able to see it yet.
Oh, you're going to like it, Brandon.
Vince just told me about it when he came in from the Mincy tour at about 1245,
and he's like, you should read this.
And, you know, I do want to see it.
Who told you to read it?
Vince did, Ben Vince.
He read it?
He can read?
Is it about him?
Okay, that's profiling.
And that also covers...
Okay, so he put it up at...
Wow, it's hot.
That's what the thing is,
before you read it,
about Ohio's Tate,
if anyone even whispers his name,
he puts out this humongous hit piece on him.
I respect that.
I respect that.
I love that.
He did that to me two years ago.
Pieces are awesome.
I mentioned him in a joke,
and he destroyed me. What did you say? You probably deserve it. I love that. He said that to me like two years ago. Pieces are awesome. I mentioned him in a joke, and he destroyed me.
What did you say?
You probably deserve it.
I didn't say anything.
So Ohio State taking the green salt.
You definitely did.
Sounds like you deserved it.
You know what?
We had it coming.
So do we have like a Tilder?
A what?
What is it?
Oh, too long.
Too long didn't read?
He attacked Rico and Marty.
Why Marty?
I thought Marty was putting...
I think Marty in the clip was like,
why are you talking about Ohio State?
Like, it hasn't been around in four years.
Yeah.
I think Ohio State interpreted that as,
oh, you're saying I haven't been around in four years?
No, no, no.
You fuck.
I think Ohio State brought up in the blog
that Marty suggested his name up for Rico
during one of his rants.
Okay.
When Rico was going through the hierarchy.
Right, right, right.
Oh, my God.
I think Rico had already mentioned Ohio State.
Look at this.
Oh, and that fake gambler.
And Marty said, like, oh, how about Ohio State?
Yeah.
All right.
We're just going to have to read the damn thing.
What's the most pungent lines?
Can we just go this way?
He's got some pungent lines.
Yeah.
It's vicious.
He said you talk about mental health,
but you attack a high schooler and a middle school teacher unprovoked and whatnot.
Marty went back at him with almost what sounded like a rough and rowdy challenge.
I don't want to say that, but he called him a little bitch, and it was—
Marty did.
Yeah.
Oh, oh, this is good.
I like this.
That's the beauty of being an adult.
You don't have to physically fight anyone.
You can just—
Well, you can.
You can just roast them.
It's not expected.
You're not going to be expected to fight.
I hate having to defend myself.
He's caked up.
Guy in the green.
What's that mean?
He's caked up.
Got enough for two birthdays.
Oh, he has a nice butt.
How do you say it? You think that Brendan has a nice butt.
Is that his name?
Yeah.
Can you just say that?
I don't know his name.
I don't want to be rude.
When I think of a woman, I couldn't say that.
You can say she's a...
Emily's not a woman.
I feel like there's different rules.
You just said that guy's got a nice ass.
I didn't say it.
I said caked up or cheeked up.
I've never heard caked up before.
Joey, we're talking sports.
Sorry, continue. We actually have to go record right now. Joey, we're talking sports. Sorry, continue.
We actually have to go record right now.
No, you don't.
We don't have to record.
Big T is our big guest because you said no and we're going to lose him.
Your big guest is Big T.
I'm saving you.
We're going to lose him if we don't.
He has to do magic.
You're going to lose Big T.
Oh, no.
You're going to lose Big T.
Where's he going to go?
Maybe we could just record the segment we were going to do with you now.
Why don't you just record the yak and use that as whatever you needed?
You need to get smokes on soon, too. I would love to be a guest
sometime since you guys trash me
every day on the pod. What's your
current status with workplace drama?
Me? Yeah, are you amidst
any beef?
In the workplace? No, I've kind of kept my
head down lately.
Pat and Joey
like to bring me up every episode. I get DMs all the time. Why do Pat and Joey Like to bring me up Every episode
I get DMs all the time
Why do Pat and Joey
Hate you so much
They always diss you
On out and about
And I go
Why don't you
To be fair
We hate publicity more
So
Well publicity came up
To me unprovoked
This morning
Or just a little bit ago
And asked me
If I've ever accidentally
Stuck my penis
In an asshole
What
That's why the slip up
She said
She's trying to make
Merch as a slip up How many dicks She's trying to make merch that says slip up.
How many dicks
are going up to assholes
on the rogue
that you can make
merch off of it?
Never even close
to happening.
Yeah.
Anyways,
I'd love to go
out and bout.
We'll keep you
in our Rolodex.
Since Joey's in love
with my brother.
I am.
And Tommy too,
apparently, yeah.
He is as well.
What's your brother up to?
Is he corn-fed?
What's that?
I don't know what these are.
He is like, you know.
Is he thick-porned?
My brother is very cute.
He's straight, though.
He's very straight.
But Joey's in love with him.
Very straight.
Spaghetti straightens your look.
It's hot, too.
Okay.
He doesn't have social media, though, so. I'm so so straight trying to fuck a guy would be like
feeding spaghetti to a snake nice kv we were actually saying on the bracket last week that
if a guy we're so straight that if a guy was blowing me i'd come in five seconds so that
after blowing us that is a paradox that's funny so it'd be over this is a paradox. That's funny.
This is a Perrier.
Okay.
Alright, so what...
Breaking news. We have breaking news.
Thank God.
After 20... Oh my goodness!
Whoa!
Wait, so
I knew this because I was the first person he texted.
Why?
Why were you the first person?
He texted me the TMI version and I almost projectile vomited.
Congrats to Mantis.
Nonetheless, my phone is dead.
But he texted me and Nick in a group and was like, it finally happened.
So how are his
descriptive powers when it comes to this?
Well, he somehow parlayed
having to get
a limp something, a cyst,
something removed into fucking the girl
who wanted to remove it.
Oh.
No, it seemed like
he deserved it. Can we watch his video?
He wasn't paid. Was there a video he was a virgin? Was there a video?
It looked like there was a 28-minute podcast.
28?
Oh.
Jordan just asked if there's a reason he was a virgin for so long.
I don't know who this is.
He worked here before you.
He actually sat in your seat.
No, I have Juan Tandani's seat.
Right.
He had Mantis's seat.
Juan Tandani.
You have inherited Mantis's seat, and he is a long-time virgin.
You know, interesting-looking guy.
Okay.
He made quick work,
because I remember two years ago
when he broadcasted his first kiss.
Well, I think it was six months ago,
maybe eight months ago,
for his first, was it blowjob?
Like 25 grand for that.
Yeah, he paid a lot of money.
He paid $25,000?
For a blowjob, yeah.
This was unpaid.
See, he...
What did he do
with the money
to win the house?
He was ridden.
What did you do
with the money
He was sucked and ridden.
He got his fist removed?
So he got the pussy
on the house?
Oh, yeah, fuck off.
It wasn't $25,000.
It was $5,000.
That's...
That he paid.
There he is with Jack Harlow.
Mm-hmm.
Dang.
And that Twitter guy.
He actually discovered Jack Harlow.
We'll give him that.
He literally did.
He told us all and no one listened.
He invited me to a backstage concert.
I was like, I don't know this guy.
I'm not going to see him.
Now he's the most famous person in the world.
Jack Harlow is?
He's the trendy star.
He's going to be on White Man Can't Jump.
Oh, I saw that.
Yeah, I don't know if I like that at all.
Not him, not his involvement.
I just don't like they're redoing it.
It just doesn't make sense.
You could redo it nowadays.
Give it a good soundtrack.
Yeah, gentrify it.
Pat, you're not going to leave to go record, right?
You guys are going to stick with us?
Well, we got to see what our big guest, we've got to see what our big guest...
Whatever Daddy says.
We've got to see what our...
In this scenario, am I Daddy or is Big T Daddy because he's your guest?
Who's Big T?
Our guest.
Oh, sorry.
I'm Daddy in this scenario.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, Fasoli's here.
Fasoli.
Fasoli.
Should we just put this out as an episode out about?
All right.
So Fasoli and Smitty...
Who was that?
Were you at the...
I was.
We were in the corner. Cool weekend. So we were at the? I was. We were in the corner.
So we were in the back right corner.
In the back left corner was the DJ booth.
And we were off stream, and we heard somebody just on the mic.
At first it was like, hey, welcome out to Barstool, Philadelphia.
Welcome out to this.
And then we heard this guy go, viva, viva, viva.
And nobody.
Not a peep? Not a peep not not a one person and that was that was fasoli fasoli was doing that oh no i thought you said it was you i asked you that
this morning you have a mic it's only there is extensive documentation saying it was you it was
the dj you said it was you on the show no no i said it was the DJ. It was not you? I was taping.
So you were taking the video. That wasn't you.
That was the DJ. How did that get lost in translation?
That's why I was making fun of you.
I didn't know. Everybody has heard it was you.
Yes, we've all heard it was you from multiple
different sources. I heard Smitty said it was
the DJ. That's what he told me. I have the video
on my camera. Of the guy
doing the Viva chant. Correct. And then after
the Viva chant. Then Smitty came out the viva chant died a a terrible death and uh it's still it's still a
thing and smitty came up and did uh an eagle's chant and he is now on the day portnoy show
because dave doesn't want smitty doing that shit ever no i did not speak into a microphone you
didn't speak okay okay did you encourage the Viva chant at all?
Well, he was giving a speech.
Who did the Viva chant?
The DJ.
Who's the DJ?
We just had, there was just a DJ. The DJ, yeah.
Whoever it was.
But he just took it upon himself to do a Viva chant?
You were whispering in his ear.
That's sick.
Did you tell him to do the Viva chant?
Okay, I did say do the Viva chant.
Okay, all right.
No, that's funnier because you trolled him. You pranked him. Do we have video do the Viva chant. All right. No, that's funnier because you trolled him.
You pranked him.
Do we have video of the Viva chant?
It's on his phone.
Viva is what Barstool fans say to celebrate our fandom.
Oh.
Why are you wearing high heels today?
Well, you know, I had dressed down.
That's your question?
I wanted to jazz my outfit up a little bit.
Yeah, it is.
A little pizzazz, so I decided to put a triple reinforced heel on.
Okay.
All right.
It's a fair.
Erica's here today, and I didn't want to look like a scrubby in front of her, so I just
elevated my look, if you will.
Joey, me and you should hang out sometime.
Agreed.
Just the two of you, you are you allergic to anything
I'm actually
not allergic to anything
you know I'm allergic to all fruit
you're not
what
allergy test in the back yeah they do the honeycomb thing on your back
yeah all fruit can't eat it
what will happen to you
my gums get all itchy and shit.
I always say I have as many problems with me
as I look like I have.
All fruit.
Your tongue swells.
It would tick. A little bit.
It gets more itchy than swells.
What about tomatoes?
I gotta take them out of my salad.
That happens with pineapple a lot.
It's okay though. It's not- What? It's not the fruit.
It's like the pesticides that are on the skin of the fruit.
What about like orange juice?
The DDT.
It depends.
Like some will make my throat kind of feel itchy.
Can you drink Gatorade?
That's not fruit.
You can drink Gatorade.
Fruit-flavored things you could eat because it's just artificial flavor.
For the most part, yeah.
Okay.
I think I feel bad for you.
Yeah, it sucks.
It's a bitch of a life.
Yeah, that does suck. I mean, I don't eat fruit anyway. I'd rather lose my sense of smell. I like bad for you. It sucks. It sucks, bitch of a life. Yeah, that does suck.
I mean, I don't eat fruit anyway.
I'd rather lose my sense of smell.
I like having an option.
It's a shame it doesn't look like it.
No, I could be allergic to fruit and wouldn't know it because I don't eat very much fruit.
Yeah.
I eat bananas every now and then.
Hot day, a watermelon, some strawberries.
Looks great.
Can't eat it.
All right, if you two are going to be doing some secret communication,
we're going to have to know about it.
I just Googled AIDS cock and sent it to him.
What?
We have to go record.
You don't have to go record.
40 minutes left in our recording now.
Why are you letting Brandon dictate what you do?
Yeah, we need to go record.
Thank you, Brandon.
Doesn't that have more internal symptoms?
Well, it's facial wasting, dear.
It's what?
What?
Facial wasting?
Joey, why don't you stay?
Let him go record the gay podcast.
Feels like it's a lie.
I think they're lying.
Frank is just sitting in the hallway waiting for...
Oh, God.
Frank is perched.
He's absolutely on deck.
He's perched like a poison dart.
Alright, it's a good focus on the camera.
Jordan, how's your life going?
It's pretty good.
Does your hair look different?
I don't know, does it?
I don't know.
I think we just haven't talked in a really long time.
No, we haven't seen you in a while.
Should we send Tommy out to fill these two chairs?
If you want. Relax. What happened? Should we send Tommy out to fill these two chairs? If you want.
Relax.
I'm just asking.
I can.
Tommy, Spike.
If one of you want to get.
I am relaxed.
I can.
I am relaxed.
I just.
Is that something we wouldn't want to do?
We could fill it.
Yeah.
Whoever wants.
Whoever wants to pop in.
I don't want that.
You want to continue this conversation?
I don't want that.
I don't want that great conversation.
No, I would.
Kyle, you know, he does a thing.
So I like your shoes, too.
Oh, thanks.
They're really good shoes.
Thank you.
You as well.
You as well.
And that's the end of the shoe talk.
Damn, I thought I was going to.
These are KFC's old shoes.
Really?
They gave these to me like four years ago.
He didn't want them.
And then he saw them like five years later.
He's like, those are sick shoes.
I was like, you shouldn't have gave them to me.
Those are Ultraboosts.
They are.
They're very comfortable.
They're old ones, yeah.
There goes Big T into the Out and About podcast.
I remember when I was an intern.
What are the chances he storms out of there in a minute?
High.
Oh, yeah, he will.
They're going to harass him.
Oh, they're going to be terrible.
He doesn't like any gay conversation at all.
I don't think he likes any conversation. That's terrible. He doesn't like any gay conversation at all. I don't think he likes any conversation.
That's true.
He doesn't.
No, but he does get uncomfortable when you say something.
He'll always be like, take it back.
Don't say that.
Anything like PG-13, he doesn't really like.
He doesn't like any slander about himself, too.
So if they make any jokes, you know.
I think you're right.
He actually just doesn't like anything.
He doesn't like conversation.
Yeah, he's just kind of a devil. He looks good.
I like the haircut.
Wow, he looks great.
I told him that already.
And the clock back.
I didn't even recognize him.
He looks fantastic.
Oh, and guess the fuck what?
The next Ruff and Rowdy is in Wheeling?
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know if we, you might have just broke that news.
Oh, shit.
I don't think that's going to be like a site breaking announcement.
We won't say when it is.
All right, we have breaking news.
Oh, that's just for what he just said.
It's usually in West Virginia, so it's just like another town in West Virginia, basically.
I don't think we can say when it is, but I think it's...
Would that be the first time we've held it?
I think as far as like Barstow historical significant towns, Wheeling would be top five.
Top three.
Where's Wheeling?
It's in that.
West Virginia.
It's like nestled in between Ohio, Pennsylvania,
and that West Virginia area.
Right?
That's where it is, right?
Wheeling fascinates me.
Because I still.
I know both of you guys.
I know you and Nick.
And I still kind of sometimes wonder
if either of you have ever even been to Wheeling
or if it's all just an elaborate ruse.
Yeah.
It's not?
No.
Okay.
All right.
Fair enough.
How was the college wrestling championships this week?
It was awesome.
I was trying to divvy my time from, like, St. Peter's and the wrestling.
It was probably one of the best tournaments leading up.
The finals were all right, but leading up to the finals, a lot of action.
So where Gable Stevenson won, and then he left his boots on the ground.
Yeah, it was too long, I think.
Is that an amateur wrestling thing where they leave the boots?
Because I know they do that in professional wrestling.
Yeah.
I didn't know they did that in amateur wrestling.
Yeah, when you retire.
You just leave your boots there.
Yeah, you take them off.
They'll never amateur wrestle again.
It doesn't seem like it.
What school won?
Penn State.
Oh, nice.
They've won nine of the last 11.
Jeez.
Did you ever talk to the Jersey Jerry about it?
Yeah.
So when they're like star David Taylor, he's an Olympic champ,
he tweeted that, And I responded.
I wanted to respond 9-11 wouldn't be the worst thing Penn State has ever done.
Something like that.
Right, right.
I could see where you're going.
Wait, KB, did you leave your boots in your last match?
I had no idea you were here, Stephen Che.
Thanks.
I saw you.
I know.
All right.
No, because I didn't know it was my last match.
I advanced to the quarterfinals and then the tournament got canceled.
Oh,
inclement weather.
Oh,
it was an open tournament.
You should have one red shirt.
One last match.
Yeah.
One last match.
I was certainly going to lose the next one.
It was a tough kid.
Let's line you up with a tomato can and do one last match.
Get everyone to come to it.
I was doing a wheeling.
Fasoli just pointed to himself.
What was that?
I would destroy you, Fasoli.
Destroy.
I would wallop you.
And let's do it.
One last match.
Not with him.
Right here, right now.
I feel like you.
Do you get tired of people demanding to wrestle you?
No, because no one does it here.
You guys are the least physical group of men I've ever met.
I've wrestled you.
I've wrestled you before.
I've multiple...
There's only...
Owen will wrestle me.
I've gotten strong with you before.
He used to wrestle me, and Jet Ski has wrestled me.
You're saying I've never wrestled you?
You've tangled, but you're...
I've shot for a takedown on you.
What?
I've shot for a takedown.
Oh, yeah, you have fiddled with me.
I'll try to catch you.
Go for a single leg?
Go double leg?
What'd you try to do?
Ebony, yeah, an ebony one.
I don't like rough.
Whenever I used to wrestle with my friends,
I'd always say, I can't breathe, I can't breathe,
and I'd tap out, and I would demand a water break or something.
I never liked roughhousing.
Owen's a wrestler's dream.
He lets you, he just gets so loose,
and just lets you do whatever to him. He loves it. It's like Pat and Joey's dream. He lets you, he just gets so loose and just lets you do whatever to him.
He loves it.
It's like Pat and Joey.
Everyone else, you wrestle and they tighten up and they're like, no, no, no, no, no.
He does the opposite.
I think you'd break Owen.
Owen jumped on my back the other week and I was able to bend him like a pretzel.
I thought you were going to pile drive him.
I was trying to.
He finally went like a sack of potatoes and wouldn't let me do that,
but I was trying to get him in a powerbomb situation.
Yeah.
Owen would be like the poster boy for a car accident.
Like, no, he wouldn't tighten up at all,
and he would just like fly through the windshield and like be safe.
Be a crash dummy.
Where is Owen Roan?
I know where Big Cat is.
Where are-
Nick and Roan are in Fort Lauderdale.
Okay.
Doing the boxing thing.
All right.
So where's Sass and Owen?
Boxing thing.
We got a boxing thing.
Good question.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're somewhere.
I think they said they were in Philly.
I don't know why they would be in Philly.
Philly.
But Owen and Sass are not here.
I guess everybody will be back tomorrow.
Well, no, I know Nick's not going to be back tomorrow,
and I don't know about Roan,
but I know Big Cat will be back tomorrow,
and I assume Owen and Sass will be back tomorrow. And I don't know about Roan, but I know Big Cat will be back tomorrow. And I assume Owen and Sass will be back tomorrow.
I guess.
All right, what's on the – so Caleb has interviewed Hasbullet.
We're going to see that video very, very soon.
I can't believe he's never done an interview before.
That's sick.
Well, I don't – can he speak?
Yes.
Can he speak English, though?
No, he can't.
So do they have a translator during the speak? Yes Can he speak English though? No He can't So do they have a translator
During the interview?
Yes
Lenny Balls is fluent in Russian
So he actually went
And he's just gonna translate
What is
No he's not
It's like Lenny Balls is
Yeah
How?
Grew up in a Russian neighborhood
In Long Island
Yeah it was
Really?
Yeah
Okay that's
I don't
I think you're telling the truth
I am
I'm from like a few towns over
Can't use
I have a ton of Russians
Can't use a lighter or drive
on the highway, but he can speak fluent Russian.
Tommy can't drive on the highway.
I can't drive on the highway.
That's just like a Long Island thing. You guys can't do normal things.
Why can't you drive on a highway?
It's an ankle thing.
I'm afraid my ankle would get a little tired if I kept
pushing down on the gas pedal for too long.
Why really can you not drive on the highway?
I never learned in driver's ed that it snowed that day. Like today you're supposed to learn how to drive on the gas pedal for too long. Why really can you not drive on the highway? That's really... Well, so I never learned in driver's ed
it snowed that day.
Like today, you're supposed to learn
how to drive on the highway,
and I haven't gotten around to it.
That's not a thing.
You don't learn how to drive on a highway.
Driver's ed, you do.
You just learn how to drive.
Driving on a highway is...
I just haven't gotten around to it.
Very easy.
I feel like it's easier than driving...
It is easier.
It's the easiest form of driving.
Because I've said before,
I don't like driving, first of all.
I don't have a good attention span,
and I feel like if I was driving on a highway for a long time,
my ankle would get tired from pushing down the ass pedal.
You didn't.
Cruise control.
Tommy, you did not have to say that.
Say the ass pedal?
I love red lights.
I love a good red light.
Tommy, it's cruise control, though.
You just put it down and you have to touch it.
You have to push your ankle down on the brake at a red light.
Right.
Yeah, but I get to switch.
It takes zero effort to push down.
You could have said any other excuse.
That's the excuse.
It's too much.
It's no during driver's ed.
I don't like driving.
How old are you?
24?
And my ankle.
25.
Where are you from?
I've never driven on a car.
Long Island.
A few towns over from Russia.
Did you have a car in high school?
Lenny's Russian neighborhood.
Yeah, but I just used my parents' car to drive.
But you didn't drive on the highway in high school or anything?
No, no, no, no.
Never.
Not once.
Never.
Oh, if there were...
What was that?
I have no idea.
If there were a concert you had to go to 20 miles away, how would you get there? Never been to a concert.
Tommy! What?
If there were a restaurant
you had a date at 20
minutes away, how would you get there? I'd walk.
No, you wouldn't. Or subway.
Not a 20 minute drive.
In New York City, you don't drive
in New York City.
Tommy, you'd miss out on a lot of life.
No.
You've never been to a concert?
I've never paid to go to a concert.
I've gone to Pop Punk, Fordham, had Spring Weekend,
like, where different people would come.
I've never been like, oh, I'm going to this concert.
There's no artist that you're interested in?
I think I'll get around.
I'll do that before I go on a highway for sure.
Oh, you need to drive on a highway.
That sounds like another video.
I want to see you drive on a highway.
I'd like to see you drive from,
I know they just did it,
but I'd like to see you drive from here to Los Angeles.
That seems like a massive step.
That's terrifying.
Just do it.
Just do it.
We can get you a car.
How about we start small?
Then you can do that.
You should have Frank teach you how to drive.
Because highways in Jersey and New York are bullshit highways anyway.
They're scary to get on.
Yeah.
To merge.
Go into America.
Go to Pennsylvania.
Drive through Pennsylvania.
That's a highway.
Yeah, all right.
That's a fucking, that's nothing.
That's like just a big field.
Highways are nothing.
Eh.
Highways in like Jersey and New York.
Maybe I'm afraid of those highways.
You feel like you're in
the Batman
Nebraska
sure I'll go on a
highway in Nebraska
I had 131
I had the under
for you dropping
the Batman reference
in theaters now
how many times
have you seen it
twice only twice
but I just went on
a trip to London
so it wasn't like
I could see it there
you know
you don't have mood
you probably could have
I thought they have
the cinema
you know they call it that
right and I thought about it they have a cinema in the
o2 but and it was filmed there right yeah a lot of movies filmed in england cheaper to film there
i didn't know that big sound stages especially oh it feels like just the travel to get there
would be uh daunting yeah but once you're there it's not like bring uh bring that
fucking dickhead in here evo evVell? T-Vell? Yeah.
Somebody go get T-Vell. T, come here!
Oh, I don't like the way
he waved.
What are you... Are you about to wrestle?
Oh, KB's leaving.
I think he's gonna wrestle.
Come sit by me, T-Vell.
You just said you're on.
I feel like we're like a group of misfit toys.
So Kyle looked up and said, bring that fucking asshole on the show.
What's going on in your life?
I don't know.
I'm like a fever dream.
We just got off like Bree's thing.
Yeah?
How long you been gone?
Like a week, 10 days.
How much sleep did you get?
No sleep.
Sleep when you're dead.
How much sleep did you get?
Per night.
On an hour.
You want to add? Three hours a night?
Yeah.
Yeah, about probably three or four.
Fucking good puss?
It's tough.
It's tough when you're... Can you answer Tommy's question, please?
No comment.
Okay, so we don't know.
So we don't know.
I'm more of a lover, not a fucker, you know?
Do you love any good puss?
Do you love to fuck?
I love to love.
That's weird. Why is that weird?
I don't know. Who loves to love?
I love to love. You gotta love to love.
I think it's good they love to love.
There's more people like that in this world.
You don't want to be that standard guy on the road that's just
fucking every piece of nasty puss like Tommy.
That's life, baby.
Oh, shit. What is this? Talk about fucking some puss like Tommy. Oh, that's life, baby. Oh, shit.
What is this?
Talk about fucking some puss.
Is that a real rainbow?
It's a real rainbow.
Oh, that picture's legit.
That's a good picture.
That's a real rainbow.
Yeah, I think I need like one percentage
of like Balls Beach where after that photo.
Just like at royalty.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah for sure yeah for
sure for sure um all right so how is the life on the uh the brie tour i mean it's fun those
i like for a dude it's well yeah it's it's hard to keep up sometimes those those like that's not
a facade grace and brie fucking party no i've been you know i've been around fucking partiers
man i've been to fucking partiers, man.
I've been to a lot of parties.
Brie doesn't get credit for how much she fucking drinks.
Built different.
She goes 0 to 100 real quick.
A to D real quick.
Ain't a joke.
I see what you did.
Yeah, that wasn't subtle.
No, I mean, it's good. I think I'm lucky to be there. I'll say this. I'll say this. What cities were you in? That wasn't subtle.
No, I mean, it's good.
I think I'm lucky to be there.
I'll say this.
I'll say this.
What cities were you in? I think there's a lot.
We have a lot of skilled producers here that can produce a lot of content.
I don't know if there's as many that could keep up with the partners.
Dana definitely could.
Dana definitely could.
I think Dana's the one.
I don't think Dana could.
No, Dana could.
I think Dana is a scheduled beer guy Dana can say alright 6 o'clock I want to do a beer tweet
I don't think Dana's going to be up at 4am
every night in Miami and Vegas
yeah I mean I think he could
I think he'd be asleep with his pants pissed
yeah exactly
but then you'd fit right in with that group
when was the last time you pissed your pants
shit man within the year I'll be right back But then you'd fit right in with that group. When was the last time you pissed your pants? Shit, man.
Within the year.
I'll be right back.
Where are you going?
She's got to piss.
Not as recent as Stephen Che, but I have peed pants.
That's one of the most-
Boys room!
You see the fucking video, Stephen, the pictureay yeah getting some head mid squat
yeah kb i think that you were blacked out that day but we showed that on the yak in l.a
yeah that might have been your blackout day someone just like sent it to me oh yeah we
had a whole day about that oh really yeah oh shit that might have been your blackout day
you remember anything about your blackout day
um you were you were play you i enjoyed you on your blackout day it was a quick black i wasn't
like total it wasn't but you you looked across at me and said brandon you're the only good guy here
i was like okay thanks drunk words are not sober thoughts i'm just saying that's what you said
that's what you said i say pete was? I don't think you said that about Pete.
I specifically remember you saying it about me.
All right.
You got your phone.
What was on it?
Well, I just didn't have my phone and my watch was going off.
How are things with you and Alex?
Good.
That's why I need my phone.
I had to text her back.
Okay.
All right.
How are things with you and Kim?
Great.
You just said I look cute today.
I said, Kim, you look cute too.
Okay, so you're not fighting right now.
No.
Were you ever?
Boy.
You don't need to get into this.
That's every co-host duo.
Alex and I have never fought.
You have, haven't you?
You fought during that.
A pretty public Twitter fight.
That was so long ago. That was two two weeks ago that was like a month ago i did not know this don't you
isn't it like time has gone by so fast i guess i don't know i'm just trying i'm just i think time
moves pretty appropriately really i feel like in new york it goes by so fast i'm always like that
feels about that long i have a grasp on how time works.
Tommy, your video last week was fantastic.
Thank you, Brandon.
Very funny.
Very funny video.
Jordan, Tebow, Robbie.
I was a little busy.
Wait, the one that you put on TikTok?
No, I put cut-ups of it on TikTok.
Yeah, I actually watched.
I was laughing out loud.
It was very good.
You might have the best Mount Rushmore.
Of what?
Videos.
Oh, yeah. Callin' Mommy was really good. Obviously, Smoke
Smokes.
Like on Fox News. Vape God, yeah.
Yeah. Vape Pat and Joey.
Are we putting that on there already? I think so.
I thought it was really good. Are we putting both Callin' Mommies
on there? Okay, there you go.
You have the best
as if I haven't done this plethora of Mount Rush a million times no i'm saying four if we were doing you have the best and throw
on one of the videos of dave rubbing you oh yeah yeah yeah how many videos oh when you have the hot
gambling run that many videos a lot of videos of dave rubbing oh like you know six seven is the
rubbing count is like the humping on advisors? No, that's different.
That's a separate category.
Is rubbing, humping, humping the same thing?
Sorry, sorry.
There's rubbing and then there's humping.
Seriously.
What's your fucking problem?
I'm ordering brisket.
Brisket from New York.
Yeah, just wanted brisket.
You're not too elite to do that?
No.
Southern elite?
Why would I be elite?
I thought like people from the south are like,
I won't eat brisket or barbecue in New York.
It's fake.
Yeah, where are you going to order from?
Sometimes you just want it.
There's a place called Hill Country around the corner.
No, that's just the bracket.
That's just filled out.
Robbie, we've got to talk today.
We've got to figure out WrestleMania.
We do.
Yeah.
Do it here.
Coming up.
When are we leaving?
Are we leaving on Thursday?
Are we leaving on Wednesday?
How many days are we going to give ourselves?
Because there's now a Ring of Honor Supercard there there is so we got we might go to that be great i don't know when that is i think it's april 1st which is
friday friday is april 1st and then saturday april 2nd we're gonna go janella's thing yeah gotta at
midnight i've yeah i've been like three times to the spring break it's a wrestling show that starts
at midnight and it's just full of ridiculous shit.
Like you'll see a guy wrestle the Invisible Man,
so you'll see a guy just wrestle himself for 30 minutes.
It's honestly the greatest thing you'll ever see.
I like that clip.
Sure.
On Twitter, he was wrestling with a dummy.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's Abushi.
Kota Abushi.
Yeah, he's a great wrestler.
So how was the after party?
Oh, the after party was fun.
I wasn't there for the longest time because I had a flight in the morning
so I left pretty early but the after party
was a blast
I connected
Meatball Molly with Dave because they wanted
Dave wanted to sign her or whatever
she immediately sent him a video of her going
give me a million dollars
I thought that was funny
we saw someone that unfortunately
I think got knocked out at the after party.
He was just kind of walking around like a zombie.
Is that how it works?
You're in a daze for the rest of the night?
Depends on how bad you get knocked out.
Shit.
There were some bad knockouts at this one.
I mean, the girl that Meatball Molly knocked out, she was walking past Press Row with her eyes in a different universe.
She was gone.
That was maybe the most brutal women's knockout I've ever seen
in MMA. Spinning back elbow caught her flush
on the fucking face. Yeah.
She was done. Rats on the spinning back fist parlay
by the way. 3-0. Thank you. 3-0
on the spinning back fist parlays. We're up 13 units
on that show. I said on the last show I didn't bet it.
I looked at it Saturday. I didn't bet it because you were 2-0.
Yeah. That's why I didn't bet it. And then you won
again. Now I can't bet it
because I can't be the guy that loses
so I'm fucked
but it's a good bet
I think you need to get knocked out
just for journalistic integrity
choked out
you would?
I don't know if I will
have you ever been knocked out in your life?
no
I've gotten knocked out in your life? No. Choked out. I actually have. I've gotten knocked out, not by a person, but I ran into a playground apparatus.
I ran into a pole when I was six, and it knocked me clean out for like 10 minutes.
But I've never been knocked out by a person.
I got knocked out playing street, not street hockey.
We were on a rink, but roller hockey with my friends.
I got hit into the boards, and I kind of just woke up,
and it was a slight concussion.
I started throwing up.
I've fallen and seen white, but that's about as bad as it's gotten.
Huh.
You've never been knocked out accidentally?
No.
Choked out accidentally.
What?
That doesn't seem like that could accidentally happen.
That's just foreplay for KB.
Logan Stieber, we were wrestling at practice, and it was freestyle.
I just out cold.
Really?
How long do you stay out when you get choked out?
It was quick.
Not long, I don't think.
Generally in MMA, it's not even that long, even when people go out.
I don't think I told him.
How can you control that?
How can you control how long you're out? You don't. You don't? What? How would you control that how can you control how long you're out you don't you don't
what how would you control that that's what i thought he was saying like they
just wake up i didn't register that part well you go out because you you're you don't have any air
right i know how people there's there's like an air choke and a blood choke so like depending on
how you're getting choked it could be cutting off blood flow or it could be cutting off your air flow.
I didn't know blood choke was a thing.
Yeah.
That sounds terrifying.
What's the difference if you get hit and you get knocked out?
Is that just like the lights?
It's just a safety mechanism?
Yeah, your lights are going out.
You can hit on the temple.
Now, Jordan, Robbie over here, he abstained from ejaculating for 19 straight days.
Why?
For this fight?
No, it was when I was in intern.
To watch this fight?
It was just for an experiment.
I mean, how long can guys usually go without needing to do that?
I gotta go all the time.
I always gotta come.
Does it start to, not like hurt after a while but you just feel like you have a
like something that needs to be released after a while yep wow so like what's the longest a guy
can usually go like it's like one day two days what's like average though like how often you
guys jack off it was like how long can but like what's the average amount of time we got like is
like for average guy to jack off is is it like every day, every two days?
A few times a week, maybe.
Depends on.
I had a roommate in college six times a day.
He was a maniac.
That's not true.
No, no, no, no.
I believe him. 24 times a week.
Like football.
Why do you believe him?
That's not true.
Why are you so quick to believe him?
You do football.
You do football.
He had a folder on his ipad
just for different porn stars his room always smelled like fresh dick he would literally nobody
loved anything more than he loved jerking off he really loved it describing a dick as fresh as
across the board yeah a gross dick i'm disgusting uh yeah what do you mean football is an excuse
when you had august you had August camp.
So you go away for five, six weeks.
You live in a dorm with 90 guys and you're just tackling each other all day.
That turns guys on?
No, but then you have all...
You don't have the energy to cum all day after that.
Some people do.
There is a rule.
If the curtain was a shake and I'm masturbating.
How would that make a guy want to cum?
I don't like that saying.
It's the aggression.
I'm sorry.
Who in here has actually done
a football camp? Please,
Tommy.
I have. I signed up for football
my junior year to use their gym because I wanted to be
a pro wrestler and it was cheaper than getting a gym. Wait, I need to know why
that makes guys wanna come. Did you go to the dorms you lived there for like
six weeks? Okay, I'm just asking.
Wait, Tebow, why does that make guys wanna come?
I'm not saying it made me, I'm just saying there are guys
that are built different.
Is it because they've been touching guys all day?
I think it's their aggressions through the roof.
Testosterone is boiling over as they're doing different types of cycles.
I feel like at football camp, because it's summer,
and you're practicing in the heat of the day,
when you get time to get to yourself,
it's just complete napping or cooling off.
It's all that.
I get it.
I don't get the six times, though.
I'm not saying I was a six-timer.
I'm saying that you live with multiple people over multiple camps,
and people have different tendencies.
I never came across the coming tendencies for camps,
but that doesn't mean they didn't exist.
I had different camps.
There's Billy.
Billy?
Okay.
Don't wait.
It comes a lot.
Didn't say come in.
All right.
How many times do you jerk off a week?
65.
Billy.
Get out of here, you rascal.
Fucking Billy.
I love him.
All right.
Let's go through the prep sheet.
Jordan, did you want to invite Alex on?
She left.
Is this breaking news or is this prep sheet music?
All right, Matt Ryan has been traded to the Colts.
Wow, okay.
So the AFC continues to stack up all the quarterbacks.
Wow, All right.
Third rounder. That's interesting.
Ryan's been with them since, what,
2008 draft?
How are we feeling? I would think they'd be
feeling good. What a day for Mantis.
That's about to say, man.
Did someone watch it yet?
When did he... I don't want...
Was it this weekend?
No, this morning.
Oh, so it was last night.
When it happened?
I don't know.
Oh, okay.
Saturday, maybe?
Wow.
He tweeted last night,
I have the biggest announcement
He did.
He did.
And I kind of figured it was...
I kind of do want to watch this.
I really want to watch this.
28 minutes.
Maybe just...
We watch it in like 2X?
Do we have any highlights at all?
Actually try that.
Two times speed.
Let's skip through.
That could work.
Get off to normal speed.
Yeah, we just want to watch Mantis' announcement.
It'd be great if we could call Frankie
and just get him to make like a one-minute announcement for us.
Oh, fuck.
He has it done.
I think episode 47 at this point.
Oh, that's not a long minute.
We got Liam Fennaro, Ben Polizzi, Dirk, James.
Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk.
All our twin balls are in the house.
Twin balls united.
Maybe fast feed.
Let's get through all the intros.
He's still like, creating.
He looks so.
Beard on him.
No wonder why I got fucked.
He looks, he looks terrible.
You actually look better and sicker all the time.
He does.
See my heart?
I didn't even notice a difference.
I was like, hey, he looks good and also, like,
he's about to go into the hospital.
I thought I asked the wrong person to let me in. All right, come on. I'm going to do with a multiple hands out lotion. To check out the keyhole. Oh my god. Now come over here. I called you and I was like, I looks good and also like he's about to go into the hospital I thought I asked the wrong person let me in
Alright come on
I called you and I was like why is Drake at 1 in my living room
My trap phone is itching
Wait so this has nothing to do with the podcast it was just a video before
I'm glad you just look like this like every Friday
Every Friday he's like hold on mom I gotta put my eyebrows on
Go ahead 5 minutes or something
You look like Drake with a calcium deficiency that's what you look like
Yo you did it
After 20 grand burgers
Why are you slightly damp too that's the worst part
You know what I'll let you guys test the notes on this one
I'm gonna let you guys test the notes on this one
I'm gonna let you guys test the notes on this one
I'm gonna let you guys test the notes on this one
I'm gonna let you guys test the notes on this one
I'm gonna let you guys test the notes on this one
I'm gonna let you guys test the notes on this one I'm gonna let you guys test the notes on this one I'm gonna let you guys test the notes on this one I'm gonna let you guys test the notes on this one I'm gonna let you guys test the notes on this one Why don't we go ahead five minutes or something? You look like Drake with a calcium deficiency. That's what you look like. You did!
After 20 hundred burgers.
Why are you slightly damp, too?
That's the worst part.
You know what?
I'll let you guys have an answer to this before I even say it.
I'll do you guys one guess each.
You had sex.
Well, I did the change.
100%. What?
You did?
No!
You did?
After 25 years.
After 25?
No way.
I think six months.
My God.
There we go.
Yes!
There we go.
I am no longer a virgin.
Yes.
First he was laid off.
Now he's just laid.
Oh, my God.
And I guess he got off.
Yo!
Yo.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Okay.
Let's do the story.
Yeah. Is that... No, look....farther, whoa, whoa. Let's get to the story. Oh, what's that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is that-
No, look-
Come on.
It's been five years.
All right, I gotta ask a question first.
Do you have feeling below your legs?
Like-
Because that's a big, that's a big leg.
I don't have Parkinson's, bro.
I'm fucking, like, just bent.
Okay, sorry.
You have Pertinson's.
You're Pertinson's.
All right.
Well, between 15 and 20.
All right, I think we're good. Between 15 and 20.
We're good on this. There you go.
Well, it was on TV, because if it was like a Jack Harlow music video, it was probably
like a real...
Yeah, it was like 30 seconds.
All right.
It wasn't love is drill, unfortunately.
I am going to listen.
All right.
Yeah, we'll figure it out.
Sure.
Congrats to Mantis.
Congrats to Mantis.
It's big.
20, 25 years old.
What?
Beat him by a year.
Just kidding.
Just kidding.
You love me.
You're okay.
You're all right.
All right, so anything else?
What's going on with Stephen Chay's prep sheet here?
What male at Barstool HQ has the longest fingernails?
Why is that on the prep sheet?
How often is too often to be eating soup?
What?
I'd say once a week.
Once a week is a good.
Once a week is too often?
Too often?
If someone had soup every day, I wouldn't be like, that's so weird.
I think it's pretty.
Okay.
That'd be okay.
In the summer, it'd be a little weird.
If you're having soup once a week in the summer.
PFT's eating soup every day.
He's on a soup diet.
He's got like acres and acres of soup over there at his desk.
Who would win in a professional wrestling match?
Gable Stevenson or The Rock?
I guess whoever they decide would win.
What's your favorite fast food chain?
Taco Bell.
No.
McDonald's.
Chick-fil-A.
Do you like the Shamrock Shake?
I love the Shamrock Shake.
We're just going through Stephen Chay's questions.
I don't like your tone.
You need a little bit more juice.
You're the host of the show.
Right? You just hit him with
an I don't like your tone.
We're 50 minutes in. You didn't like your
tone or energy level. You never like
my tone.
Okay.
What is your favorite seasonal fast food item?
The turkey chili at Panera.
What?
Yeah, I like their...
That's a soup.
Panera fast food?
It's fast.
Jeff Lowe would probably say fast casual.
Why Jeff Lowe?
He's the authority on fast food.
Yeah, I agree with that, fast casual.
I miss Jeff D. Lowe.
He's the best.
He hasn't been here in a while.
I miss him.
I need him back.
We've got a dozen match tomorrow, Honkers versus ZD.
I wrote the college football questions for that.
Interesting.
Always about you.
Yeah, it kind of is.
Ruffin Ratty's coming back.
What's your problem?
What's your problem?
What's your problem?
What's your problem? What's your problem? What's your problem? What's your problem?
All right.
Fair enough.
I guess that's, oh, dude wipes.
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Want to talk wiping?
We can talk wiping.
You scrunch or fold?
I scrunch.
You guys sit or stand?
Okay.
I stand. We've done this before.
We have.
I can't run this one.
We don't want to run.
You're taking the shit in between your cheeks. We had to teach you. Too much. We had to teach you. Steve and Shay had to wipe once. We've had this before. I can't run this one. We don't want to run. You're taking the shit in between your cheeks.
We've had this one too many times.
I stand when they...
We did the same thing.
I have an update on that.
I'm now a hybrid.
Do you lean?
No, I do both.
Start with the sit, move to the stand.
Then you stand.
Yeah.
So really, yeah, you stand.
The sit's just ceremonial at this point.
No, I wipe when I sit.
If you stand at any point, then you stand.
What's the breakdown?
Is it two wipes sitting, two wipes standing?
Depends on the turd, really.
All right.
I just can't do it.
I can't do that. I really want to read Ohio State's blog. It's been bothering me. Let's read it. Read just can't do it. I can't do that.
I really want to read Ohio State's blog.
It's been bothering me.
Let's read it.
Read it up.
Read it.
Pull that up real quick.
Let's finish it off.
Because he goes at Marty.
He goes at Rico.
And I understand Rico goes at him.
But the Marty thing, my provoked attack on Rico for being a hypocritical, whiny,
coattail-riding baby.
All right?
All right. All right.
Let's just cruise through here.
Do you want me to read it out loud?
No, we don't have to read that part.
Let's just keep going.
For not being able to do the nine-beer challenge, yada, yada, yada.
Okay.
I'm not going to act like the world stopped without me.
For someone who worked his butt off for 12 months unpaid, I don't think you can say anything.
Okay. Here's three weeks of blogger rankings from the last time.
Okay, go.
Yeah, yeah.
Keep going.
Keep going.
He also said he was taking off that.
We just don't get sent those anymore.
Just don't do that.
Well, we don't.
Point being, okay, story time.
So I literally don't interact with anybody except the editing crew of them.
Got this notification on Wednesday.
Thought it was pretty weird.
Watched Pick'Em today.
Portnoy Show to see if something happened.
It sounds fishy.
I play along.
Keep going.
So he's just laying out.
This is a very meticulous blog.
This is giving us some backstory we really didn't need.
This is all.
I'll tell you where to get.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Keep scrolling.
I don't want to be rude, but who is Ohio State?
He's a blogger.
He blogs Ohio Sports.
He blogs part-time, yeah.
He's like, whatever.
I decided to let it go
until yesterday job to do and he does it i see another clip all right now it's probably gonna
now now you all right so rico said the guy gets no show paychecks rico throws cheap shots like
he throws high noons that was a good line i like that unprovoked completely off the mark and i had
to let him know that and then he tweets that yesterday i've never met you go take a nap
and go back down.
Now, I know that Rico has a court-ordered month off and all,
but those numbers are staggering.
Which one of us asked for and received a raise again?
So, really, he just takes a lot of time.
I'd read it from here on out, I think, is probably where it starts.
Well, read it.
Me?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm not saying it's a repulitzer or even a pat on the back,
but I would like to open up the finance books over the last three and a half years. make that two and a half because i'm paid for 12 months and see what i make compared
to what rico's expense why is he calling me out especially when i dm'd on the previous night uh
asking why he was calling me out i told him to leave that blah blah blah all right so now
my chart i tweeted i was a rider to play along but i've now been provoked enough to respond by
the way i think it's really funny to call his followers riders when he's the biggest rider of
them all and then oh okay hotel riders yes t-shirt i had to make that design on my own because i don't have t-shirts guys contact
info because i made it myself because it wasn't really a design he just all right i don't sit on
a podcast with the two most talented needle moving members of not only this company but sports media
as a whole and act like they couldn't do it without me guess what rico any of the people you listed as
beneath you over the last two days could just do pick them tomorrow, and it would still be the best show we've put out
because Dave and Big Cat are on it, not because of you.
We've all seen what happens when you're a focal point of a show.
The College Basketball Podcast is tied with mine and listeners,
which would be great for you, except I don't have a podcast.
Some people were born on third base and think they hit a triple,
but the fact of the matter is there's nothing that Rico Bosco can do
that I could not do except apparently attempt to murder a co-worker
and keep his job.
Oh, and that fake gambler,
Marty mush can go kick rocks as well.
I remember when he was pretending to bet during Barstool Idol week one,
and I asked what he had the game handicapped at kid acts like he's Brandon
Lang,
Google it,
Marty.
And I had to explain the term handicapping to him,
but yes,
Marty,
I noticed that you were the person who brought me up in the first video,
not Rico.
And then you were the person who talked the most about me the next day clip
as well.
What's your deal.
Haven't seen him in four days.
Sorry I didn't teach the term part-time remote blogger
in the remedial reading classes you took in school,
but that's why you haven't seen me in four years, you moron.
Jesus.
Was that an insult that he hasn't seen him in four years?
He took it as an insult.
I don't think he didn't mean it as an insult.
I think Marty was saying, like, why –
was saying, Rico, why are you going at Ohio State?
You haven't seen him in four years.
And he took it as –
He took it as an insult.
This guy.
This guy is – he's on hand.
This guy's just waiting.
Let's get one thing straight.
If I wanted to win Barstool Idol four years ago,
you'd still be taking tickets at a movie theater,
filling up popcorn tubs for a living.
Wait, no, no, no, wait a minute.
Did work in countertops.
I've been absolutely on board with everything he's said so far.
But he says if he didn't win Barstool Idol because he didn't want to win
Barstool Idol?
I think he actually did win. No, he didn't win in Barcelona because he didn't want to win in Barcelona. I think he actually did win.
No, he didn't win.
No, he didn't.
If I remember correctly, he was doing the stand-up show on the Wednesday of that week.
And I don't think that went very well.
And then he was like, well, I don't really want to do full-time video anyway.
I don't want kids, like his student kids seeing this i'll take a blogger part-time blogger
job back in ohio that's what happened yeah okay and like mantis was kind of just one mantis one
and then marty also got hired yeah yeah yeah gotcha we're doing uh we're apparently doing
it again this summer barcelona idol we. The Yak will be hosting. That sounds great.
Is there an official job on that?
We think so, yeah.
So does the winner get a job?
Is that how it works?
Yes.
Oh, fuck.
Guys, I'm sorry, but we've got to spin the fucking wheel.
Yeah, we do.
Why?
Just in case.
Spin the wheel.
We'll have to spin the fucking wheel. Just don't worry about it. Let's just spin the fucking wheel, and we'll deal with whatever happens. Just spin the wheel. Yeah, we do. Oh, why? Just in case. Spin the wheel. We'll have to spin the fucking wheel. Just don't worry about it.
Let's just spin the fucking wheel and we'll deal with whatever
happens. Just spin the wheel. Do you guys spin the
wheel every episode now? Yeah.
It's probably gonna... Oh, no.
No, we're fine. Oh, we're good. We're dry. So, good.
Dry wheel. The wheel is
just. So we're dry today.
Also, it's time to go.
So I gotta go do a thing
I have an appointment
but if you guys
anything
that cyst looked at
does it lead to pussy
nice
I don't have a relationship with Mantis
me and Mantis like overlap like three weeks
it wasn't long
so I don't
it seemed like a nice guy to me
he's the homie there are guys that I met briefly It wasn't long. It was nice. So I don't, it seemed like a nice guy to me. Yeah, it was always nice.
He's the homie, yeah.
Yeah, there are guys
that I met briefly
in my time of like
coming up here
as a visitor
to living here.
Like I met Francis,
I met Mantis,
but I never really
created a relationship with him.
But he was nice.
I like him.
I like Mantis.
Seems like an agreeable gentleman.
I'm happy for him.
I'm happy for him too.
Me too.
Good for him. Just be fucking. You happy for him? Yeah, I'm happy for him. I'm happy for him, too. Me, too. Good for him.
I'm happy for him.
You happy for him?
Yeah, I'm glad he had sex.
Kyle?
Yes.
All right.
That's good.
That's the Yak.
Anything else?
Nope.
Let's wrap it up.
Let's wrap it up.
Big Cat will be back tomorrow.
Everybody will be back.
Robbie, Tommy, Tevo, Jordan, thank you for coming on. Thank you for having me. Thanks for having me. And to the gay guys as well. Thank you. We'll be back tomorrow. Everybody will be back. Robbie, Tommy, Tevo, Jordan, thank you for coming on.
Thank you for having me.
And to the gay guys as well.
Thank you.
We'll be back tomorrow.
That's the act. We'll see you next time. Bye.