The Yak - The Makeup Wheel Kicks Season 7 Off To A HOT Start | The Yak 2-14-22
Episode Date: February 15, 2022You guys hear about 5g?You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the Yak. It's the Yak.
It's the Yak.
That dinosaur shop is doing it. I'm going to let the song play.
It's the Yak.
Big Cat and Brandon are on the way home from Louisiana.
Sass and Roan are on their way home from Cincinnati.
Nick and Kyle are on their way home from L.A.
But we'll go around the room.
We could all introduce ourselves.
We'll start with Duggs.
That's enough, Duggs.
Tommy?
Hey, Tommy.
Tommy Smokes.
Thanks.
Whoa.
Frank, it's Monday.
Yes, it is. You son of a bitch all right who else well i'm gonna be on the road on thursday i'm gonna be uh heading down to daytona oh very nice all right we got pat
my name's pat it used to be something else else? Alright, we got Gay Pat.
We got Che.
Added Che. You want to show it?
You want to flex it? I'm in a sweater right now.
Take it off.
Let's see. I want to see.
Take off the intern. Some sort of Chinese symbol?
Take off the intern.
I didn't know if it was that or we're going maybe traditional.
It is the year of the tiger. Perhaps we get a tiger.
I am also a year of the tiger. Ooh, very nice. I don't know all the rules for or we're going maybe traditional. It is the year of the tiger. Perhaps we get a tiger. I am also a year of the tiger.
Oh, very nice.
I don't know all the rules for that, so don't call me out.
Let's see it.
It's the yak.
Hell yeah.
Whoa, damn.
No apostrophe?
Apostrophe, yeah.
So I was looking at it more.
A lot of people pointed this out, that the T is the apostrophe.
The T in the yak.
It goes over way too far, so that is the apostrophe. The T in the yak. It goes over way too far, so that is the apostrophe.
So suck it, everybody.
Sure.
No, Pat does.
One Asian joke for one gay joke.
Here we go.
Three minutes in.
Okay, Chai.
All right.
Noted.
And then we got, enter Sandman.
Michael Greer.
A machine gun. Machine gun. Oh, God. One time host of the yak before. And then we got Enter Sandman Michael Greer A Machine Gun Machine Gun
Oh god
One time host of the Yak before
Everyone was clamoring for me back
Fuck yes
And Jack
Yeah I also go by the Machine Gun
If anyone wants to call me that
I did it first
Then who's in the booth?
Hey what's up?
Tatted T.J. You got a tattoo? Hey, what's up? Tatted Teejum.
You got a tattoo?
Yeah.
You want to show it?
What is it?
It's way cooler than mine.
You guys know Dukes has a tattoo?
No, I don't, you fucking asshole.
Does everyone know Dukes has a tattoo?
No, we won't talk about it.
I'd like to, though.
Oh.
Oh, goddamn.
What's it say?
Goddamn, it looks better now.
Sharky Duck does look good.
That one's way better than Chase, to be honest.
Now, this was part of a bet, or this was?
This was upon the wheel.
Got it.
Oh, damn.
I think I want to get a tattoo, but like a really random one with no significance.
Yeah, like a swastika or something.
Oh, I was thinking more like Jason Bateman's birthday or something, just like a date, a
random date somewhere on my body that has no significance to me.
January 6th.
You love Patrick Bateman.
I already have that one.
What?
Very much does have significance to you.
Yeah, I do love Jason Bateman.
I just get his face.
Come on.
Just do his literal face.
My makeup artist coming in.
I usually don't be, I'm not uncaring about it.
You got one more.
Gentlemen. I do have new be... I'm not on camera. You got one more. Gentlemen.
I do have new pants on.
It has a side detail and a pump.
Joey's going to be doing everyone's makeup throughout the show.
I don't know if those pants are okay.
Why?
These are very expensive.
I got these on sale.
All right.
Wait, so they're expensive but on sale?
If I paid full price.
But Trish treated me.
Valentine's Day.
Got him a Valentine's Day gift.
I used to model at the Home Shopping Network.
I paired with my favorite red hat.
Got this at the boutique on January 6th at the museum.
That was a gift from Jack back to you, I believe.
Correct.
How was that day?
Was there a lot of gay sex that day?
Well, yeah.
I mean, that's pretty much where everyone was running from.
I thought they were running to it.
To and fro.
Now, Trish, what do you have to wear?
This is a little something that I got for Owen to wear.
Is that a sex thing?
You slip it hands up, please.
I'll put it on.
Super Bowl.
What did you guys think of the big game?
I think Chase should be the opener on this one.
It's a pretty boring game, right?
It wasn't as boring as Rams-Patriots.
I think that was a great game.
Like the end, the fact that we got like dueling game-winning drives at the end.
Nobody stood out.
Yeah, dueling game-winning drives, I guess.
So there's two drives at the end of the game, which are memorable the rest of the game.
Aaron Donald should have been the MVP.
I wanted to win that $250 fucking dollars.
What did you bet, Frank?
I think I put down like $20 for Aaron Donald to be MVP.
Oh, wow.
So what was that, like plus $1,250 or something like that?
Yeah, something like that.
Nice.
Almost. Not quite.
Anybody want to talk?
Well, you're the host, Owen.
Lead us away.
Put the harness on for us, please.
The Rams won.
Nick and Kyle are there.
So they'll have a video from that.
I think it'll be interesting.
I don't think anybody really cared about the game.
Does anyone remember the Los Angeles Rams music video from 1986?
I wasn't alive.
1986?
No.
You weren't alive.
I don't think that's as famous
as the Bears thing
or anything like that, Frank.
You know what it was?
After the Bears won,
after the Bears video,
every team tried to copy them.
So the Rams came out
with one with the chorus,
Ram It.
You know how to Ram It.
Oh, yeah.
We all know that.
You've all done that a few times.
I remember the Miami Hurricanes one about fucking girls.
What was that?
Did anyone get any strange while they were in L.A.?
Strange.
Strange pussy?
Oh.
Anyone?
Define strange pussy.
Did anyone sleep with anyone, or is anyone coupled up out there?
Jay. Jay? No. No, you're married. You're married. Girl, Define strange person. Does anyone sleep with anyone, or is anyone, like, coupled up out there? Jay.
Jay?
No.
No, you're married.
Gur, you didn't go.
Owen?
Everyone's dating everyone.
I was promised two Asians on the group text.
Oh, I didn't know.
He's dating an Asian.
He's dating one, so he's half.
Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt.
No, he's dating an Asian.
Okay.
So coded, at least as far as I'm concerned, right?
I mean, you...
I get to say it?
You did something for Chinese New Year, right?
Yeah.
So you're Chinese.
Yeah.
Did something for Chinese New Year.
You're practicing.
I get to say the words.
You used chopsticks that day.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I still can't believe that, Tommy.
What?
Shitting on chopsticks on Chinese New Year.
I wasn't shitting on Asians. I was shitting on more New Year. I wasn't shitting on Asians.
I was shitting on more white people.
I wasn't.
They're shitting on their culture.
Yeah.
More culture than the people.
Yeah.
Just shitting on them.
You know that argument's wrong, though.
Why?
Because, like, anybody who's from an Asian culture would agree with everybody else and
not you.
That they would appreciate people trying.
No.
I think that people only do it to show off. sorry wait what's your take i think the people only
use chopsticks to show off i think like you're talking about i agree with that or i agree thank
you people only use them to show off yeah unless you're like like asian people it's like born in
china and crazy like crazy follow-up question frank do you know how to use chopsticks i have
never actually okay now i will say i do think there's, do you know how to use chopsticks? I have never actually.
Okay.
Now, I will say. I do think there's a pattern.
If I knew how to use chopsticks, I would probably do it all the time to show off to people.
But I don't know.
So if you were like a, I guess, yeah, if you're a white person living in New York and you have sushi, what do you do?
I use my hands.
What?
How to eat?
You can eat sushi with your hands.
If you're drunk or sober, you do it with your hands.
Either. Both embarrassing. In Japanese culture, you can his hands. You look like an ant. If you're drunk or sober, you do it with your hands. Either.
It's both embarrassing.
In Japanese culture, you can use both.
You can do both.
Is that true?
So I embrace Japanese culture.
That's what they bring in.
He says it's not true.
I'm taking his word.
But you're not Japanese, are you?
No.
What are you?
It just seems gross.
No.
What are you?
Half Chinese, half white.
Right.
Yeah.
They used to call that Waijin.
I switched it to being Ait.
Like whenever I describe I say
It sounds way better
Doesn't it
He's Ike
Yeah
And like if we see
Another Asian white couple
Which is usually
Like really disgusting
White man
And hot Asian girl
We're like
Oh they're Ike
95%
99% of the time
Yeah
But like if we see
One that's hotter than us
Or at least hotter than me
For the most part
It's like
They're more Ike than us
Do the jeep wave
Like if you see another
Asian
Yeah we do
Like a wink Oh wink Yeah we both like it for the most part, it's like they're more right than us. Do the Jeep wave like if you see another Asian point out of the engine
and give him a little wink?
Give him like a wink.
A wink.
Yeah, we both like it.
It's a bunch less fun.
You got one too?
Give him a little wink.
It's less fun than the
skinny black guy,
fat white girl prototype.
Yeah.
That one rules.
Yeah.
You ever seen
My 600-lb Life?
I have.
You know the guy
who's dating Tammy
is like a 95 pound black dude?
Tammy's like 700 pounds. He likes him thick.
He does like him thick.
More Christian for the pushing, I guess. I always
hated that phrase.
Halftime show. Thoughts?
Rate it 1 to 10. Well,
it was no diva. Now, as
a gay person, we always want
the diva. I thought Britney should have come and done it.
But it was a cook from the 90s, so I enjoyed it.
I like 50 Cent's thick physique.
That was exciting.
I didn't know that Mary J. Blige was going to have such a big weave on.
I loved the blonde weave.
That reminded me of brown chicken fries weave a little bit, didn't it?
The way it came out from underneath.
Yeah.
She looked hot, though.
She's almost 60 years old.
Is she?
Yeah.
Right?
She has to be.
She looked good, I think.
I'm 60. Who were we talking about? Mary J. Blige. You shit Yeah. Right? She has to be. She looked good, I think. I'm 60.
Who are we talking about?
Mary J. Blige.
You shit on the performance.
She has to be 60.
You were like white people posting their swear on Instagram.
Yeah, that wasn't an opinion I actually had.
I just tweet random things.
I don't think any of the youngins really know.
I do think it felt, I don't know.
I think everyone wanted to like that a lot.
Eminem was good.
It would have been hard to be a white person shitting on it on Twitter probably.
Why?
Because I would have said you're racist?
Yeah.
I didn't think Eminem was that good.
I think Eminem is like.
I think he's a little overrated.
Yeah, I definitely think he's overrated.
He was the only non-LA based artist in that entire thing, right?
Like everyone else there was like a California guy or gal and then there's
big Detroit guy
50 New York
yeah great great calls
Mary J too from New York
Snoop's a crip that was breaking
news yeah it's he was like
they're really pumping crip culture
into the fucking performance is crips red
or blue blue so you're
you're a blood today. Okay, perfect.
Yeah.
A little bit of a blood.
You should have more red bottoms.
This would have completed the outfit way better.
Red shoes.
No, no, no.
I registered for them,
but I don't got them for me.
Trish?
There's still time.
Valentine's Day is not over yet.
True.
Are you guys doing anything for Valentine's Day?
I was going to,
and then we decided to do the show today.
You and your lady? Yeah, I was in Connecticut. I was going to stay and then we decided to do the show today. You and your lady?
Yeah, I was in Connecticut.
I was going to stay there.
That's where she lives?
Mm-hmm.
And you're not going to go on a date with her at all?
No.
Got food yesterday.
You have to do it.
How long have you been married, Che?
Five years.
Five and a half years.
So is the love still, like, there's still a good spark there?
Yeah.
Yeah, we're going out to a nice dinner.
Oh, well, that's nice.
Tommy? Yeah, I'm going to a dinner. Are you married spark there? Yeah. Yeah, we're going out to a nice dinner. Oh, well, that's nice. Tommy?
Yeah, I'm going to a dinner.
Are you married, Tommy? Yes.
Just only like 18 months.
Is your marriage a toddler?
18 months?
Yeah, it's about to start walking.
We call a quarter Asian.
Because that's what, I guess you're
a quarter, right? Asian dude. It's got to be better than Asian. There that's what... Asian dude.
There's got to be better than
Asian. There has to be a term. I don't know.
There's terms like that for other
things. I don't want to say
any of them. I feel like they'll play really bad.
If I have one in my head, I'm just going to let that one sit.
Cajun?
Quar parental. Nah, actually.
Maybe not.
I had legs for like two seconds.
Didn't Tiger Woods once describe himself as Kablasian?
What's the, like a explosion?
Oh, because he's white, black Asian.
Yes.
Kablasian.
That's actually kind of cool.
Let me see your search history, Tommy.
That's definitely a cool category.
A wheel to see whose search history gets exposed?
Oh, fuck.
I do incognito browsing.
You'll find nothing on me.
You definitely have the dirtiest internet.
He just does his searching out in the open.
He doesn't even hide it.
He leaves his windows up.
Speaking of wheels, I figured we would need some help,
so I got a bunch of Red Bull and bananas.
Maybe a Red Bull, banana wheel, slow banana, fast banana.
You guys can really help.
What's a Red Bull for?
Can we do a wheel to see whose makeup Joey does on the show?
This one's for me.
Yeah.
I think that's a great wheel.
Where's the wheel?
It's a thing they put on the TV.
Oh, I got it.
And you have to do someone's makeup here.
You here.
There's publicity.
Very digital wheel.
Let's see if she's doing it live.
She has herself locked in that little room.
No.
Look at there.
She's like Cruella de Vil.
That's just some other woman.
You want to do a makeup wheel?
Yeah, I'll do it.
How intense is this? How long does it take to do
someone's makeup? Don't worry about it.
Oh, it's not going to be very dramatic.
It's going to be like a smoky eye.
Okay.
I don't have my brush with me. I can do it with my fingers.
It'll be like a smoky eye, a red lip.
Just like a loose smoky eye and then just like a tight red lip probably.
Yeah.
Okay.
We'll do that, TJ, if we can make a wheel.
Oh, so there's three different options.
No, you need all three.
No, no.
Everyone's name is going to be on it.
Whoever gets the makeup.
So one person gets pretty makeup.
One person gets blackface.
One person.
What are we going to get?
We can go down the list.
Yeah. Got it, got it, got it. I'm the only one here allowed to do blackface. Oh, yeah,face. One person, what are we going to get? We can go down the list, yeah.
Got it, got it, got it. I'm the only one here allowed to do blackface.
Oh, yeah, true.
Yeah, data guys are allowed.
Yeah.
Oh, that's mean.
Not of a sick, like, perk.
Yeah.
Seeing data and being allowed to do blackface?
Just spin it right now, TJ?
Part of the Barstool contract, man.
It can't be me.
That's what you're going to be doing.
That's what Gaz's contract is.
He's data, technically.
Joey, you're going to be doing the makeup with your hands? No, go get your brush. Let me get my brush. It's very much're going to be doing. That's what Gaz's contract is. He's dated, technically. Joey, you're going to be doing the
makeup with your
hands?
No, go get your
brush.
Let me get my
brush.
It's very much
like the sushi
with the hands.
No, I don't
know.
I think this
is going to be
way worse.
Makeup and
sushi.
Yep.
Let me get my
brush.
All right, so
we'll do last one
standing.
So if your name
gets picked, you
get taken off.
You're free.
Okay.
And when it gets
down to two, we
usually do best of
seven.
With this crew, we might go best of 70
Oh, they just broke up
So we'll do a two-hour yak and
All right spin it
What did he post to he posted me and Kim are gonna get back together
Julia Fox said she hustled him.
Don't pull Tommy.
Fuck, I got a lot of them.
We all knew that you did.
Yeah, yeah.
Can you rig the wheel?
Or it's, like, foolproof?
The wheel is just...
Yes!
Get me out.
Okay, good.
Is that a thing you partake in, Pat?
Makeup?
Yeah.
I've worn it in the past.
I use it just when I go to bed.
Of course.
No, I don't do that.
Frank, you're safe.
Frank is safe.
Anything you want to say?
That would have been a real fun.
That would have been.
They give Che makeup, but they make him white.
Oh, and free.
Thank God.
Joey shouldn't be in here.
He can't do his own makeup.
Oh, well, then we've got to do it over.
No, you can't do it over.
Yeah, let's do it over.
No, just take Joey up.
Just take Joey up.
Owen's the boss.
Here she comes.
Now I'm, like, very nervous.
Why?
Joey, you're going to be making Che white if you get him.
Come on.
Which you are not.
Penjack.
For the odds.
We're right next to each other.
All right.
Time out.
We've got to drag this out.
TJ, can we do music and we'll do best of seven?
Yep.
So is it four gets it or doesn't get it?
We flopped on this before. Yeah, we flop every time. I think it should be gets it. gets it or doesn't get it We flopped on this before
Yeah we flop every time
I think it should be gets it
Whoever gets four has to get it
So wait why would you guys both not
Have you guys ever put on makeup before
No
Maybe for like a Halloween costume
Oh yeah
Scorpion
Classic No never for that You yeah. Scorpion? Classic.
No, never for that, no. You know who Scorpion is?
Can we tell the story? No.
No, I don't care. It's not really a story. They used to call Gru a Scorpion
because his room was so small
and when he had girls over and he went down on them,
his feet would go up over the back like a Scorpion.
Whose is that?
Classic machine gun.
Fucking legend that you're eating enough pussy
to get a nickname about it.
He really did.
Fucking cool guy.
Perks of being able to do blackface.
Why is he allowed to do blackface?
That's how he got the pass.
He works upstairs.
So you can do blackface,
you're working data?
I'm working data.
Oh, data.
Data finance. So who is it? Who's getting the fucking makeover? We got a spin. Blackface, you're working Dada? I'm working Dada. Dada. Dada. Dada Finance.
So who is it?
Who's getting the fucking makeup?
We got a spin.
Can we get that Guardians of the Gate music, if possible?
Oh, God.
Ooh, good fade.
Was it whoever gets to four first?
You don't want your name.
Unless you want me. You should really go nuts here with the makeup. We don't want your name. Oh, unless you want me.
You should really go nuts here with the makeup.
We don't want something subtle.
We want something bold.
Bold eye and bold lip.
Bold eye, bold lips, bold cheeks.
Shoe.
How is a shoe getting involved?
Perhaps we get the breastplate involved here,
and they put that on underneath the thing.
Jack 1-0.
Yes, we'll grab it.
We can weaken the breastplate.
When you want to succeed,
as bad as you want to breathe. Who just won?
Ken Jack, 2-0.
Ken Jack, 2.
It's looking like cake face.
Jesus.
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
Is that a sweep?
If it's a sweep, you have to come out of the closet.
Is it virtually a sweep?
Oh, come on.
Oh, my God.
What the fuck?
I've never had that before.
All right.
10, Jeff.
You heard on the act first.
Beautiful day.
You're going to get makeup.
Venom also today. Okay, good.
I think maybe you can get the breastplate.
Congratulations.
I'm going to be busy, Trish.
Do you want to grab that?
Should we do a breastplate for him, too?
It's a breastplate.
A wheel to see if he gets a breastplate?
We have a hanging G and a high D.
I don't know what we're talking about.
We're talking about silicone breasts.
I don't need silicone.
I got real right here.
Let's throw hanging G
and high D on the wheel.
It's one spin.
We'll see which
titties Ken Jack gets.
He can wear them
under the jacket.
That way it's not
like in your face.
It's just subtle.
That way he feels comfortable.
Hanging G is the size
of the breasts?
Oh, they're very big.
They're very expensive.
They feel great.
They feel like
just a real thing.
I kind of want the Ds.
Only a person with a hanging G would refer to Ds.
It's because I want the high D.
I'm going to go get you a high D.
All right, high D.
All right, high D.
And it has her cane.
All right, some breasts and makeup.
This will be fun.
It's better than the bananas and Red Bull combo, I guess.
I need that cane.
Is that a thing he's doing?
No, he fell.
Oh.
I still think it's kind of a bit.
He said he was skiing on a ski trip, but he was...
Skiing is jerking off too, guys.
Yeah.
Or I think he had his foot up someone's ass and then they coughed.
Okay, it took me a second there.
Okay, yeah.
Oh, they coughed.
Okay.
Yeah, cracked his ankle right in half.
How about those Super Bowl commercials? How about those Super Bowl commercials?
How about those Super Bowl commercials, Frank?
That Pringles one was funny.
What did you think of the QR code?
That was annoying.
I mean, there's no point.
They're not telling you anything.
Things are just bouncing back and forth.
I mean, if you're going to do something like that, it's got to be like 10 seconds only.
I mean, good God.
How much crypto do you have right now?
No, I actually don't have any cryptocurrency.
Really?
What do you say to people who care about cryptocurrency?
I don't know because I just don't have a, I mean.
Say fuck them.
Watch grass.
I don't trust it.
Yeah.
I don't trust crypto.
That's good.
I somehow know less about crypto than I did yesterday after that Coinbase commercial.
You're not a crypto guy?
That's in the high chair.
Oh.
Huh.
Greer's a big crypto guy.
We got our rug pulled on Pussy.
Yeah, and it's siphoning his time, energy, and money.
I do it.
I'm not good at it.
Me and Tommy got rug pulled on Pusscoin.
Which, in retrospect, should have seen coming.
How much money did you have in it, Puss Coin?
I don't know.
What's the ruling on silicone titties on YouTube?
Well, he's going to put his top over it so they can't see.
Okay.
Well, they look really good.
I love the idea of like, have you felt them?
Get up, go take them for a spin.
They're very real.
Now, that'll stretch up to 200%. I'd rather just take them home with me tonight. Joey, why don't you go ahead? I got them. Get up. Go take them for a spin. They're very real. Now, that'll stretch up to 200%.
I'd rather just take them home with me tonight.
Joey, why don't you go ahead and pull that down?
And any fellas out here who don't have a lady at home, this is a great alternative.
Joey, pull that down.
Look at Joey.
He's got a wedgie.
Looks great from this angle.
We're about to confuse all of our viewers sexually.
I like the idea of crypto, but I can't actually pull the trigger on it because it all feels
like such a fucking...
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
I don't feel... We're not talking about crypto.
I'm just trying to find something that I can come and agree with.
Jack, put your coat on, please.
It's distracting everyone.
Jesus Christ.
All right, so halftime show, we did.
Commercials, we did.
Stafford versus Rogers.
That fucking sucks for Aaron Rogers.
Yeah, big time.
Why?
What's going on there?
Matt Stafford played
12 years with the Lions
and he's going to
end with the same
amount of Super Bowls
as Aaron Rogers.
Aaron Rogers is a cuck.
Or no,
he's a friend of this program,
right?
We like Aaron Rogers?
I believe so.
We love Aaron Rogers.
Aaron Rogers is good.
He double dates
with Miles Teller
so it's hard to give him any.
Is that the guy
from the drumming?
Yeah, Whiplash, Spectacular Now.
Two Nights Stand.
Two Nights Stand, 21 and Over.
But he was also in War Dogs?
Whatever, War Dogs, yeah, sure.
Who's his girlfriend, Miles Teller?
Kaylee Teller.
What?
And they double date with Rogers and the girlfriend, yeah.
Oh. They drink red wine and play bonga. It's a whole thing. Did you ever double date with Rogers and the girl. Yeah. Oh.
They like drink red wine
and play bonga.
It's a whole thing.
Did you ever double date
with anyone here?
Like if someone asked
like do you and like
do you think KB and Nick
double date with their
significant others?
I know nothing about
either of their sexual lives.
I don't think you necessarily
need to to double date.
Good to know.
You guys don't fuck on double dates?
yeah it's a double date but you show up and you just fuck
we did have that swinger call in from
gay people double date
yeah of course
it's just a group of guys
it's gaggle
it's a quadruple date right here.
Yeah.
Double dating is actually very fun.
I'm sure.
Everyone's done it.
No?
I'm against it.
TJ, you think there'd be any way to get like a split?
Like a one-on-one game.
So we're always on them, but then also?
Yeah.
Mono y mono.
What did you think of The Rock yesterday kicking it off?
I thought it was really stupid.
Yes.
What?
That was the biggest thing I've ever seen in my life.
They usually have Michael Buffer, and they just kick off through him
because nobody respects that guy.
You're The Rock.
You're The Rock's exact demographic.
You have to understand that.
Yeah, that's true, 100%.
That was awful.
Yeah.
You didn't like it, Frank?
Well, it was too long.
It just dragged on and on and on.
Super Bowl.
But it felt like he was making it about him.
Yeah. Like, we get it. It was.
That's the whole problem with it. I'm over the rock.
Just went on too long.
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. It was just
dragged on and on and on.
I mean, it was like,
And here it rhymes.
Finally.
Now you get the bangles.
It's like, get off the field.
Let's play some fucking football.
Yes, King.
Fuck yeah.
I guess you were not a fan of the Rockies in wrestling days.
I was, but you know, there's just too much.
It's just no end to exit the stage.
Fair.
Frank, we met some celebrities in L.A.
Yes.
Who'd you meet?
I didn't really meet any celebrities, but.
All right.
Well, I was with you when you met.
I was with you when you met Jimmy Tatro.
Oh, he's hot.
He's a YouTuber. He's a YouTuber.
He's a YouTuber.
He's got a TV show.
He's in Modern Family and stuff like that.
Oh.
Modern Family?
The celebrity science.
I can totally understand why Frank has no idea that he met a celebrity if he met Jimmy Tatro.
I don't think he's probably ever encountered anyone.
You were introduced to Jimmy Tatro, and you went right into a Mets rant. Yes, I did.
Which was beautiful.
Is he a Mets fan? No.
He's from LA. Not really into sports
at all. Actually, it might have been more of a Nets rant.
No, it started Nets
but somehow got Wilpon'd.
Yeah, because there's going to be no season
now. And the Wilpons are going to
get the Mets back.
All my teams are cursed.
You did.
You won MVP.
The Phlegm VP.
It was funny, Frank.
He said he was cracking up about it.
He's looking like Julia Fox right now.
Looks like the Night Troll
from something.
He does.
That's so much more.
What do you want to talk about wrestling?
I thought it was going to be like a little line of something.
You know what you want to talk about wrestling?
He looks like the missing link.
Oh.
This is the shimmer, okay?
He looks like he's like a high fashion guy.
He is.
You know who one of my all-time.
He has breasts on underneath. I forgot.
You know who one of my all-time favorite wrestlers,
Jobbers, was?
A guy named the Duke of Dorchester.
You have a favorite Jobber?
Yes.
Jobber is a guy, for people that don't know,
that just goes in and his job is to lose the game.
Exactly.
To lose the match.
Exactly.
The guy was the...
I didn't love that mansplain.
I mean, some people Don't follow wrestling
I don't know what a jobber is
They don't have jobbers anymore
That's the problem with wrestling
You don't?
They have some
That's the problem
With this country
Right Frank?
I mean
Don't even get me going
On the problems
That we're facing
I mean we're wrestling now
It's the same
The same people
Fight each other every week
And it's
Boring
Not even AEW you don't like?
I've tried to glance at it a few times, but I've just been so out of it for so long now.
But the Duke of Dorchester.
Did Raw have titties and SmackDown didn't?
Yes.
Is that true, TJ?
Raw was TVMA, and SmackDown was TV14.
I was only allowed to watch SmackDown.
They had a sex scene in Raw in 2006.
He looked like China Doll.
What did they have?
Edge fucked Lita on TV in 2006.
Live sex celebration.
Was it full dick and vag?
There was a nip slip.
They were under the covers in the middle of the arena.
Classic.
In the middle of the arena.
You remember Val Venus, right?
He was probably driving her crazy right
His name rhymes with penis
What's up
Frank
Who's your favorite wrestler
That died in a murder suicide
Hopefully there's only one
There probably is
I bet there's more than one
Ken Jack feel free to lower that zipper a little
Just to give
Well you know
You ever hear the story of
Dino Bravo, right?
No.
The guy was associated with the Montreal Mafia, and basically he got whacked.
Interesting.
But his brother started an entertainment TV channel.
Really?
Yeah.
I learned something last week
I have my head buried in
I don't really know what's going on in the world
somebody told me
maybe you can attest to this
you might be a guy that would know this
do you know 5G towers are causing cancer?
and like that's well known
they just told this to me last week
and I was like what are you talking about?
we told you this?
nah this is conspiracy theory dare I say that.
Yup.
That's not real?
No.
Frank, you know what I say to those guys?
Have fun drinking your apple cider vinegar.
Get lost.
We don't want to hear it.
Hey, I moved into an apartment complex in Belleville that was built on a toxic waste
site that was polluted for 100 years by Thomas Edison.
By Thomas Edison?
Yes.
Look at you.
Doing what?
Look at you now.
It was a battery plant that was owned by Thomas Edison.
Damn.
Those boobs are so natural.
You own it.
A little different than 5G.
Any ill effects from that yet?
Oh, wow.
Well, I have a healthy glow now.
There you go.
Yeah, Che, that's been an accusation for a few years now.
So it's not true?
I don't know.
It's definitely not proven true.
I'm not ruling anything out.
Yeah, because they're trying to build these near my house.
Also, everything causes cancer.
Everything.
I just assume normal cell phone stuff probably end up with testicular cancer.
This is actually a conspiracy from AT&T who wants everyone to be back on those black boxes
which you attach to the wall and you have to dial.
I'll do you one better.
I think it's Sprint.
I think it's the guys at Sprint. Ken Jack looks like every
female suburban
gym teacher.
All he is is a photo picture
that's been triple filtered.
He's got the body of a female suburban gym teacher.
Gently press that together.
You prefer a glossy lip, correct?
Yeah, he prefers a glossy lip.
You know Ken Jack.
You know he loves that glossy lip.
He loves a glossy lip. No, this looks hot, though.
I think he looks good. Should he need a wig or no?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Joey,
who's Bruce Valanche?
I know Bruce Valanche. He's that queen. He's that old
queen. Red glasses guy. Yeah, what about him?
You know who he is? Of course I know him. My mother
looked just like him. Your mother looked
just like Bruce Valange?
Late mother.
She's passed.
She's watching the act right now, though.
She is.
Yeah, she's a gay comedian.
I think they're from Jersey, aren't they?
I don't want to misgender them.
Is he an A-list celebrity?
Oh, God.
On the record, I'd say probably not.
What do you think he is?
B?
Off the record. I think I'm a bigger celebrity than him.
C?
You're a bigger celebrity than Bruce Valange.
Sure.
Would you say that?
Even Che thought he was the top five
recognizable celebrity.
Well, I saw that tweet.
I thought that was
a troll tweet.
Look at him.
Look what he looks like.
Recognizable is different
than fame, though.
Right?
The tweet said recognizable.
You're just saying
he's a unique looking person,
but he's not an A-list celebrity.
I've seen that guy before.
I had no idea his name.
I bet if you got the wig, he would look a little like Bruce Valenche.
I don't think I've ever seen this person.
My desk?
Oh, he's not.
There's no way, right?
Well, he's basically a writer more than he is a comedian, isn't he?
Yeah.
True Frank.
He does.
He's on Hollywood.
Remember, what's his name?
Oh, he wrote Hamilton.
Hollywood Squares.
Yes.
Is that the Tic Tac Toe show that they have?
Hollywood Squares.
Hollywood Squares.
He was the center square
most of the
when Whoopi Goldberg was out
I wonder if he got paid
to do it well for that
he was the main spot
on a random show
decades ago
not a random show
that was a huge
7-inch square
whatever
that was a remake
I was right
now Pat
that was a remake
yes
of like the
what was it
from the 70s originally
originally from the 70s
and Paul Lynn
was the famous
center square.
Oh.
What other celebrities were on there?
I feel like Dean Martin was on there.
Probably once or twice.
He was like shit-faced.
Probably once or twice.
Who was on Valencia's left and right?
Like Gilbert Gottfried.
He was always over Gilbert Gottfried.
I'll give you that.
That's impressive.
Who's the guy that was in Chappelle's show?
Because Gottfried's also in A-list.
I would assume in your head.
No.
Wayne Brady.
Wayne Brady. He's definitely a Hollywood Squares guy.
I feel like Chris Rock has been on before.
I think in the 80s it was Joan Rivers.
Right, but like famous people.
Bruce Flanagan's on top of all of them.
There it is.
Yeah, center row. Center row.
Center row, not center square.
I said if Whoopi was out, he was the center square.
Whoopi also.
What did she say?
The Holocaust didn't happen?
It could either be suburban Karen mom,
or it could be angry Brooklyn lesbian.
Angry Brooklyn lesbian.
We'll go with the angry Brooklyn lesbian. Is it broken be Angry Brooklyn Lesbian. Angry Brooklyn Lesbian. We'll go with the Angry Brooklyn Lesbian.
Is it Broken Lesbian?
Brooklyn.
You could be broken too.
Do you mind if you make her broken?
Yeah.
My head is so big.
Oh, fuck.
Can you let me see?
Oh, my God.
Get the panties, God-Om.
My head is way too big for this
he looks like
the ladies who
stand on 22nd street
you look like
you'd be a huge
stoolie
can we get a
spy cam
can you go ask
someone important
upstairs
just a really
simple question
Mike Greer just ask about a podcast ad reader Can we get a spy cam? Can you go ask someone important upstairs just a really simple question?
Mike Greer.
Just ask about a podcast ad read or something.
You look great, Ken Jack.
I didn't get the email for Lights, Camera, Barstool ad read this week. Actually, it did happen.
That literally happened.
Say, hey, we have a Whistlepig whiskey brand.
Am I still allowed to be seen drinking other liquors?
But the joke is your face looks like what it does right now.
Maybe give him a pump.
Give him your pumps as well.
What is this, Pat?
Just throw it on. Put your hands up.
This is a triple reinforced shield.
That's triple reinforced, so you can put on girth
and that's not going to break.
They make scythes
with this material.
They make what? Scythes.
Why don't you do everyone a favor
and zip your fly up?
Thank you.
I thought you were going to ask me to zip my fly down.
After seeing I had big feet.
Go ahead.
Give us a little strut.
This is where Ken Jack pretends like he's never walked out.
He looks like Miley Cyrus.
This is where Ken Jack pretends like he's never sold his ass on 7th Avenue before.
I don't know how this thing works.
I saw him with a Tina pipe on 22nd and 8th this morning.
This feels so weird.
I'll tell you what, that's a good jacket.
I've never done this.
It really accentuates the leg, and that's something that Ken Jack could really need some help with is his leg because it's short.
But it really kind of makes the booty pop.
I think your girlfriend is going to love seeing you in this tonight.
No, she's definitely going to love this.
I think so, right?
Oh, yeah.
Just take a picture of yourself
and just text her
Happy Valentine's Day
and let's see what she does.
She probably watches
the act all the time.
Do you want to take a breast out
for the boys
while we have you here?
DJ?
Is that a yes or a no?
Go ahead and whip one out.
One?
Let them titties fly, girl.
Okay.
Wow, just one. Look at her hair. You can't. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy. Whoa, fly, girl. Okay. Wow. Just one.
Look at her hair.
You can't.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh, easy.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What, you guys don't do this all the time?
You're a disqueezed fetish?
Dan, the security guard's getting bricked up just looking at you.
Jack, stop.
It's like really...
He wants me to call him.
Oh, God.
So, this morning, we found out that we were still doing the yak.
I was pretty nervous about hosting.
I texted my buddy.
I said, damn, like I have to do this thing today.
And then he sent me a picture and he's flying a plane by himself.
What?
Across the country.
That equals your fun?
For a federal airline.
And yeah, you're squeezing your fake tits.
So I feel better.
Yeah.
It gets better.
I think I can do to help.
Flying a plane's got to be really easy, right?
No.
What makes you think that?
It's like, there's what, like four buttons?
Literally a computer.
Up, down.
Idiot.
Zai, you do flight simulators, right?
Yeah, yo.
Is it easy?
Yeah, yo.
Yeah.
Well, then what's the nonsense of having to go to school then?
That's what I was wondering.
I was like, I mean, I would have been more nervous if I were you than him.
You got to talk to my boy then.
I think it's just a weed out if you're serious or not.
Jack, you have to stop doing that.
It just feels really good.
I mean, I don't know.
Blowing up like a balloon.
Is this how you thought today would go on?
I don't know.
I'm blackout tired.
How many people are calling him, but can I say the faggot word here or no?
Yeah, I'll allow it.
We're on delay, correct?
We can bleep that?
We're on a delay?
No.
Is there like a chat that people are writing in the chat?
They're writing that in the live chat, yeah.
What's the consensus?
How do you see the chat? Are you looking at the chat? No, I'm looking at you. What are they saying in the live chat, yeah. What's the consensus? How do you see the chat? Are you looking at the chat?
No, I'm looking at you.
What are they saying in the chat?
Is there a chat?
I don't know.
It's my first time here.
Yes.
Hen X.
Yeah.
Hen X.
Bird dogs just pulled out.
We're good, sis.
You don't need this sponsorship.
I like shit the bird dogs.
Go to birddogs.com, promo code yak, and they're going to throw in a free Bird Dogs beanie.
Bird Dogs are honestly my favorite joggers.
I wore them all last week.
Very comfortable.
Very good.
Got a silky soft liner.
You don't have to wear underwear with them, and they feel great.
They look great.
So go to birddogs.com, use promo code YAK, and boom, a free Bird Dogs beanie with your
pair of Bird Dogs.
Stay warm and comfortable in your Bird Dogs.
The absolute best joggers there are. Let's read. Pat and comfortable in your bird dogs. The absolute best joggers
there are.
Let's read.
Pat and Joey,
you'll like,
so the bird dogs,
if you wear them normal,
no print.
If you want to just do
one roll on the waist,
you'll have full print.
So you can go either way.
How does it work?
The print will...
It'll get a little tighter.
Tighter, so that's how it goes.
Okay, gotcha, gotcha.
You can wear it both ways.
Yeah, Trish and I
love going bird watching anyway.
It's reversible almost.
Do you roll them?
Depends where I'm going
Food store yeah
Church yeah
I don't see anything on the chat
10x
What does 10x mean?
I want to raise
That's bizarre that people are saying that
You've been staring at me this whole time Frank
They're saying whoa you're lip biting at me right now.
Wait, can you make that face one more time?
He's biting his lower lip at me.
He was just light skinning.
I'm trying to read the chat.
It's my reading expression.
You bite your lip and you read?
Yeah, there it is.
Sometimes.
Light skinned. Damn. I'm trying to read a shot he's eyes my god
try biting your upper lip see what happens
you could do a lip bit initing competition Tommy, give it a shot
What's your best lip-bite?
Frank, I imagine you're not an OBJ guy
Who's your favorite speaker of the house?
My favorite speaker of the house
Past, present, I guess
Luke Ingrich
Yeah, great guy
Pretty sure he left his dying wife
For a very young woman Who won it? Yeah, great guy. Pretty sure he left his dying wife for a very young woman.
Who won it.
Yeah, fair enough.
Love has no age.
What a crazy name.
Pat, give us a lip bite.
Yeah, fucking come on, do it.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I look blind.
My dick went inverted.
That's a bad one.
It looks like you're farting.
Can you do one for me and it's when you're not and nobody's sucking?
Me? You want me to do that?
You're not and nobody's sucking?
You're going to make a cum face.
I don't know if I can do that? You nut and nobody sucking? I'm going to make a cum face.
I don't know if I can do that.
This?
Like a cum?
Come on.
Literally.
I'm cumming.
Ew.
I'm going to go.
Hold on.
This prep sheet's running.
I got one you got one
yeah just
I actually don't know
the answer to this question
I'd love people to weigh in
I don't know if anybody knows
do fish sleep
like are any animal
in the ocean
and if so where do they sleep
I have to imagine
they do
like where
like in the water
probably
just like anywhere
oh my god
Nemo they
where do they sleep?
In like a plant.
Yeah, in like a coral reef.
Yeah.
But okay, there's not that many coral reefs.
It doesn't make sense.
What's up?
What you're doing to the camera.
I did not know the camera was on me.
Please move the camera.
Che, can you do this into the camera?
Yeah, the tourist face.
This is going to sound wrong at first, but hear me out.
Asians got the peace sign later.
What do you mean?
Than us.
They were doing that a few years after we were doing that.
They were big on that.
Because I had multiple run-ins with the Little League World Series teams.
They were all big on it.
They were late on the wave.
Yeah.
Asian people don't smell.
That's also true.
You've told this to me before randomly.
I got the white half of a smell.
Yeah.
There's like this gene.
You reek?
If I like get really sweaty in like video games or a close game, yeah.
Video games?
What year did you start?
Exercising. What year did you start the peace sign?
What year did I start the peace sign?
I don't know.
Oh, well, you were stateside, right?
I'm American, yeah.
Gotcha.
Greer, Ukraine.
It's not good.
For who?
I don't know.
I don't really look much into it.
I feel like you have.
No.
You're sneaky, a very political guy.
He's got a lot of takes.
What do you think about Joe Rogan Greer?
How many times have you said it in the past?
Zero. Who among us?
Zah loves it.
Zah's an alt-right freak in the booth.
Yeah.
You are too Joey we have the
we have the world's only
LGBTQIA
evangelical
alt-right podcast
right
called out and about
right here on the
Barstool Network
right here on the
Barstool Network
we're pro-life
Joey when did you go
full-time
February 1st
congrats
thank you
excited to be here
congrats now you're getting paid for putting me in makeup yeah February 1st. Congrats. Thank you. Excited to be here. Congrats.
Now you're getting paid for putting me in makeup.
Yeah.
I'm taking these home, I think.
Go around the room and just say yes if you make more than them.
Tommy?
I don't know.
I'd imagine you do.
What are we saying?
Yeah.
I'd imagine you probably make more than everybody in here.
Frank. Frank's got everybody in here. Frank.
Frank's got cameo money.
Frank.
What does he?
I have cameo money, too.
Well, I just got one in, too.
I just did two in the goon pit.
Made $375.
He does $150.
He does $150 for cameos?
You can put two of them because one of them was 24 hours, and I charged double.
My regular price is $150.
But if you want me 24 hours, you're going to pay 50% more.
What?
Wait, it's $150 for how long of a video do you make?
30 seconds to a minute.
You fuck?
No.
Do you do anything?
Well, yeah, I say like, you know, hey, Owen.
So your girlfriend sent in my DMs today, and she told me that you, you know.
Do a cameo for Owen right now.
Okay.
Okay, go.
For what?
For Valentine's Day?
Do a Valentine's Day cameo for Owen.
His girlfriend bought this for him.
What's his girlfriend's name?
What's her name?
Nope.
No, her name is Publicity.
Publicity.
Ready?
One, two, three, and action.
I would go, you-hoo, Owen.
So I didn't even want to tell you this, especially on Valentine's Day, but Owen's been,
no, what's her name?
Felicity's been sliding my DMs.
This is not the first time.
First, she has her pictures on my feet,
and now she wants me to wish you
a very happy Valentine's Day.
I hear you're a great cook,
you know, great in bed,
and have a cock that don't stop.
So I want you to go slam her in the back
and have the best Valentine's Day.
Love you, girl.
Bye.
Boom, 150.
What a steal.
150 bucks for that. Can you believe that. What a steal. $150 for that.
Can you believe that?
I will be reimbursed for that, correct, Sal?
You also stole that word for word from Frank's cameo.
Yeah.
Same one.
No, last August I was doing 40 cameos a day.
Oh, my God.
Frank makes a million dollars a year on cameo.
Can you believe that?
Oh, my God.
For you.
Why August?
Why was August such a hot month for you?
I charged $30 a month. Oh, my God. $40 a that? For you. Why August? Why was August such a hot month? I charged $30.
Oh, my God.
Up 40 a day.
You should be charging more, Franks.
What's your worth?
100.
That was because people wanted me to do fantasy football drafts.
Yeah, also.
I like it.
You got the quantity.
That's what you're smart.
Fantasy football drafts.
Primarily, correct.
I think Joey would love is seeing Frank's old apartment.
They own?
Where was the old one?
It was just across the town in Belleville.
It was sort of like a Ninja Turtle setup, right?
Yeah, basically.
It was
a ground apartment
where basically I see people's
feet walking as they go up the stairs.
whenever I got any Uber Eats or a pizza delivered,
I had it slid through my window.
Stop.
That's easy.
You've never seen this, Che?
I remember your video.
It was amazing.
The video is so cool.
There you go.
You got to watch that.
That's one of the funniest videos, I think, Frank.
That one always makes me laugh.
Frank, you see we were with that rat fuck Kevin from The Office?
You hate him?
That's a cameo king.
That guy makes millions off cameos.
He doesn't charge half as much as him, though.
Kevin who?
He charges like $400, I think.
Does he?
He's the top earner.
Him and Frank are top two.
What?
Who charges that much?
Guy from The Office.
Kevin from The Office.
Remember him?
Big guy.
Ryan Bumgarner.
No, he was great.
He was so nice.
He annoyed the shit out of me.
Oh, from the office.
I thought you meant KFC.
I was like,
we are at the office.
Oh, I know who you're
talking about.
That's hilarious.
Caitlyn Jenner charged $2,000.
Oh, that's money well spent.
Caitlyn from California.
Okay.
I have that hat too.
$2,000 and she would
murder your loved one
with her car
and then park it.
Allegedly.
They settled.
We'll see.
There's Owen attacking a trans person.
Oh my God.
There's a vulnerable community on the planet and look who's going after him.
A cis white man.
Look who's making it bad is transsexuality when it has nothing to do with it.
X.
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X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X. He's a good host He's a good host I can tell you're a little stressed out about it Yeah
Like this has been something you've been dreading
I think we're doing a good job
I think you're doing a great job
I do too
I'm enjoying myself
There's the video
There's the video
Oh
This was such a guy
I remember this
She's caked up
Oh no
She's double cheeked on a Tuesday
How do you tell them to come over there?
Like meet me in the side window?
You're not in a ghost or something?
Yoo-hoo
Yoo-hoo
Alright, you too
Stop
Yes
How fun
It's amazing
Look how you got the POV camera too
Yeah
Brought it with you
You're like
What's his name?
Casey Neistat basically
That's fun
You know how to do this shit
Smart thinking
A cameo gave him 10,000 for a commercial
And he just ordered pizza
We ordered a cameo from Brian Bumgardner For I think Fictional debates And he just ordered pizza. We ordered a cameo from Brian Bumgardner
for, I think, fictional debates,
and he just said, like,
yeah, welcome to fictional debates.
These guys are idiots.
It was like $400.
You, dude.
He came to the office, and I think...
Oh, dude, you know what I'm going to find, actually,
in my camera roll?
I got a cameo for Christmas, maybe,
and it's Beans from even Stevens shouting out
the yak anus and son of a boy.
How much did it cost?
I don't know.
It was a gift.
It was a gift.
So, you know,
if you want nothing,
that's considered a business one,
a business shout out
because this is technically
a business and there are
lots of change of price
for that.
For that, I charge $1,500
for that.
No one's ever bought
this from you.
Not from me,
but my friends do it.
Business ones?
Yeah, saying like, everyone, this is the best place in the world.
Come eat here.
I love this restaurant.
And you lie and say that you like this restaurant.
Oh.
And they...
$1,500.
That's what I charge.
But like real celebrities, they charge like thousands, thousands more.
I got William Hung to give me a girlfriend a cameo.
You guys got to keep that.
Have your girlfriend a cameo?
Yeah.
Last Valentine's Day, actually.
He like sang a full length song. That's a cameo. How. Last Valentine's Day, actually. He sang a full-length song.
That's a cameo.
How much was that?
$40.
It was such a steal.
Whoa!
That guy's killing it.
That was a way better spend of a cameo money.
Yeah.
William, he's from American Idol?
Correct.
I got to probably do a few cameos when I get off here.
Yeah.
Valentine's Day.
Do one right now.
Do one live on the Yak.
Okay.
Can you do one right now live on the Yak?
I'll go grab my phone.
How exciting.
Thank you.
I've got to go grab my phone.
That's a good question.
If you can get a cameo from anyone alive or dead, who would it be?
Oh, good one.
If I was a lineman for the Washington Redskins, I would say Hitler.
Zero percent sure.
It would.
I want one for Gronk.
You want one for Gronk? From Gronk. He was us come back. I want one for Gronk. You want one for Gronk?
From Gronk.
He was in the office once.
You're into Gronk.
He's my number one.
No.
Yes.
I thought that weirdo.
Footballer.
Oh, damn it.
He's my other number one.
Where is that?
He's a hot man.
There's Casey and Fran.
It's a thing.
Thank you.
I feel like I look like a marionette doll.
I should be on someone's lap, and they're working my fucking mouth like a puss.
You look like Beth Ditto.
Google Beth Ditto and put it around the screen.
Beth Ditto?
Yeah.
What was happening here while we were gone?
What did we miss?
Literally nothing.
The parties.
That's not true. We didn't miss nothing.
There's a lot of gossip, a lot of tea.
A lot of gossip.
There's no gossip.
There's no inner off this gossip.
I mean, just chat.
What is that, Chad?
Is that the person who Jordan Woodruff made out with who works here?
There she is.
Yeah, who is that?
You do look like Ditto, Ken Jack.
That's really...
Who is that?
That's Ditto.
She's the lead singer of The Gossip, one of my favorite artists.
Yeah, see the similarities?
There with her tits out right there.
No, these ones are pretty perky, to be honest.
Yeah, there's her smoke.
There's her bangs.
And the same makeup.
I told you.
For real.
Here comes a cameo. Great job at the production booth. She's not even a Pokemon. There's bangs and the same makeup. I told you. Here comes a cameo.
Great job at the production booth.
She's not even a Pokemon.
That's kind of a bummer.
With Obditto.
Well, Tank pulls us up.
I got to tell you guys,
International Speedway with the 64th running in the Daytona,
500 this Sunday.
Segway.
February 20th at 2.30 p.m. Eastern on Fox.
Win the Daytona is comparable.
It's winning the Masters,
the Super Bowl, or gold medal in the Olympics.
Contrary to this, Luke Combs is going to get the party started,
welcoming fans back to the track with a pre-race concert.
As the music stops and action begins,
fans will be on the edge of the seats for 500 miles.
Jeez, that's a mile.
Of heart-pounding racing action.
That actually does sound awesome.
Over 100,000 people gathered to be part of this prestigious event. um of heart-pounding racing action that's actually does sound awesome um over uh over
100 000 people gathered part of this prestigious event the energy excitement and power of being
there in person will stay with you for a lifetime that's going to be the debut of the next gen race
car for its first points paying race ever following the bush light clash at the la coliseum
be sure to get in on all the action with the Barstool Sportsbook app,
my favorite app.
Tune in for the greatest race in all of motorsports,
the Daytona 500, this Sunday, February 20th, 2.30 Eastern on Fox.
Hey, if you could be part of any race, what would you be?
Tough.
I got to divide it up between, I guess, three.
Oh, really?
Two parts white.
Irish and Lithuanian.
Tour de France.
I was going to say
RuPaul's Drag Race.
Yeah.
I was talking about
like a race car.
I don't know what
he's talking about.
You know,
I'm actually,
me and Doug's
are going down.
Let's rip this cameo.
You won your NASCAR
better than me.
You and Doug's
are going down.
Road tripping down
to Daytona
in a couple days.
We're going to go see the race.
It's the first time I'll be at the Daytona 500.
Oh.
Wait, what day?
We're leaving Wednesday.
Are you going to meet in Daytona?
Tank Thursday?
Is that Tuesday?
Tank Thursday?
Tank Monday.
Tank Monday.
Yeah, I guess we're Tank Monday today.
Hell yeah.
Yeah, we're heading down to Daytona 500.
First time I'll ever obviously an NASCAR race.
So that'll be interesting.
We're still in spring training, but Rob Manfred sucks.
Yo, Owen, how's it going, my dude?
This is Stephen Anthony Lawrence.
Beans from the Disney of the channels of the Even Stevens.
And I was talking with Kelsey and Bryn.
I want to wish you a very, very
special 23rd birthday tomorrow.
I hope it's a good one.
This is your
MJ birthday.
You know how everybody goes, Kobe?
Well, no. This is your
MJ birthday, baby.
Also, just for your information,
I looked it up. Gassy,
it has two S's.
Oh, yeah.
Also, big shout out to son of a boy, son of a boy dad, Venus, and the cat.
Dave Portmanoy, have me on your show.
I'm down.
Much love to all of you.
Stay safe.
Wash your hands.
Eat some bacon.
Have a good birthday, Owen.
Bean out. That made me more uncomfortable than looking at Kevin right now. Wash your hands. Eat some bacon. Have a good birthday, Owen. Bean. Out.
That made me more uncomfortable than looking at Kevin right now.
Well, here's mine.
It was a delivery.
It was too bad.
Go ahead.
Here's one.
I actually got one.
It's addressed to someone named Owen.
So let's see.
Owen, let me tell you something.
Valentine's Day is stupid.
You know? I mean, happy Valentine's Day. Owen, let me tell you something. Valentine's Day is stupid. You know?
I mean, happy Valentine's Day, but you know what?
It's a stupid holiday.
Come on, you know?
I don't know what's going on.
I mean, bizarre.
It tells me that you're a huge beast with a huge dick.
Let's go dolphins, but Valentine's Day is worthless
Stay home
Don't bother going out
You know what's best
Just to do some raw dogging
Some hot dogs
Enjoy the day
And just forget about Valentine's Day
It's just February 14th
Yesterday was your true holiday
There we go
A plus Frank, good job
Good job. Good job.
That's good.
Can we do another wheel?
It's like watching Tiger in his prime.
Yeah.
Let's do fast banana, slow banana, Red Bull banana, high noon banana.
I hope I win the Red Bull.
I'm very thirsty.
Here, you want it?
Well, only if I win it.
I don't want to win the wheel. Earn it. I have the Red Bull. I'm very thirsty. Here, you want it? Well, only if I win it. I don't want it. Well, win the wheel.
Earn it.
I have to earn it.
We should have waitresses here.
During the act, we should hire publicity to wear a little mini skirt.
Serve us.
I would love that.
Stop.
We're banned from saying that name.
Oh, sorry.
We're banned from saying that name.
I'm sorry, but have Enrique wear a little mini skirt.
She's been working out.
I know.
Okay.
And just bring us cocktails from the goon bar.
She watches our show so much, and she hangs on every word,
and then any time we even hint towards her, she freaks out at Joey.
That's a fucking woman for you, am I right?
White shows.
Re-wheeling?
I don't even have a pedicure
Walk those out TJ
You gotta pay for those
Oh yeah that's right
Can we get one more wheel
With everyone's name on it
I love the censored bar
Do you mind passing me that
What is this wheel gonna be for
I walk past Nardini's room and she goes,
Hey, Joey. I was running to get the wig
and she starts having a conversation. I was like,
I'm sorry. I'm busy. I'm on the yak. I've got to call you back.
Hey, go get her. No.
Go get her. The CEO?
She's in a meeting. I'm sure she'd be okay
if you interrupted it.
No, I'm not getting fired first.
I haven't got my first paycheck yet.
Full time, you're allowed to go in.
That's true. You walk right're allowed to go in. Yeah.
That's true.
You walk right in.
Just go in and get her.
Absolutely not.
Put her in.
Put it on the wheel.
Put it on the wheel.
Banana wheel.
Put it on the wheel.
Yeah, we'll put it on the wheel.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
We'll put everything on the wheel three times that once.
All right.
So for now, we'll just do the 10 names and we'll figure out who's getting a banana.
Okay.
And then we'll figure out the style.
Oh, there's Josh's BBC.
And Josh.
That's so funny.
The big, beautiful khakis.
Yeah.
Josh's BBC.
Didn't expect that one coming today.
Get comfy.
Well, that's because it's censored now.
I didn't want anyone getting it for free.
Frank, can you get another lip bite?
Just for the chat.
Look towards Joey's feet.
Yeah, look towards Joey's feet.
I wish these were cheese balls.
That's what I thought they were when I walked by the other day.
You roll your eyes, too.
Put your eyes on the back of your head.
I really can't do that one.
Yeah, true. Anybody watch Euphoria last night? Yeah Put your eyes like In the back of your head Like I really can't do that one Yeah true Fair enough
Anybody watch Euphoria last night
Yeah
I watched half of it
I love Euphoria
You gotta watch it
Don't spoil it
Stop
I was too tired
I only watched half of it
Why
Because I took those
Three sleeping pills
Oh
Were you like trying to die
Yeah
How many are you supposed to take
Just one
But I took three
Because the night before
I couldn't sleep
Because there was a mouse
In my apartment And I was afraid there was a mouse in my apartment
and I was afraid
he was going to climb
into my mouth.
Yeah.
They are known to do that.
I literally couldn't sleep.
I was like delirious
so the next night
I was like,
you know what,
I'm going to really
knock my dick in the dirt
so I ate three
and then I had my alarm set
at 8.30 a.m.
because I was going to come
to work at a respectable time.
It's Monday
and the first week
of my new job.
I slept through.
I told Alexa,
I kept seeing Alexa,
what is it called?
Snooze.
Tell her snooze, snooze, snooze.
And then finally I told her to shut off
and I woke up at 11.30.
You gotta get Bixby.
What the fuck is Bixby?
What are you using Alexa for?
You gotta get Bixby.
What's Bixby?
Frank.
It's something that's on the Android
and the Samsung.
You just hold it by and go Bixby, screen freeze.
Oh.
Like I said, you got to get Bixby.
Did you see, not only for that, but also for,
did you see the new, during Black History Month,
they announced the new Google Pixel 4 is going to have a special feature
that will show black skin more clearly now.
Yeah, which is great. That's another reason to get it. I'm with Kanye West. is going to have a special feature that will show black skin more clearly now.
Yeah, which is great.
That's another reason to get it.
I'm with Kanye West.
I was.
Reviewing it as Black Future Month.
The Alexa commercial set off everyone's Alexa.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I saw with Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost.
He's in Staten Island.
I had no idea.
Yeah, M&P.
I didn't know he was from there.
Are you from there?
No, I'm from New Jersey.
They just bought the boat.
They bought an old Staten Island ferry,
and they're turning it into a nightclub.
We should perform there.
I like that.
I don't like them as a couple.
I think he's very boring.
Jost?
Jost's always boring as hell.
He's like Toast.
Toast human.
His brother was from Impractical Jokers.
Yeah.
Who's his brother?
Yes, his brother's Casey Jost, who does the post-game stuff or whatever, where he interviews people.
That's crazy.
Greer and I saw him at MSG.
Yeah, he was very good.
He's very good up, and he's fucking hilarious.
Colin Joster?
Yeah.
I think he's very muted at SNL. Is he the head writer?
He writes a lot of things. I don't know. It was just— He and Che are, I think.'s very muted at SNL is he the head writer? he writes a lot of things
Michael Che
not Steven
it was definitely different shit than he usually says
Michael Che and Kanye got into it this week
Michael Che gets into it with everyone
he gets into fights all the time
other comedians hate him
he's got a bad rap
I thought you were going to sayye is the one that gets into
fights with everyone no that's the thing about kanye's life it's always everyone else's problem
and not his which is the craziest part about it he's never been around yeah they broke up i guess
while we were alive uh him and julia fox well he posted a picture kanye of him and said like
i think i'll still work it out with Kim eventually.
Oh, well.
He's been saying that the whole time, though.
Yeah.
I don't know what did it.
Yesterday was a little much.
What do you think about Julia Fox, Frank?
Who's Julia Fox?
Exactly.
So, yeah, I don't even know who she was.
She's an actress.
She was in Uncut Gems, as we saw on Alex Hooper's Uncut Gems.
She's a character out of a lineup.
Sort of a cult classic for the porn Reddit guys.
Yeah, oh yeah.
What is?
She did porn?
Julia Fox did porn?
All the places I moderate, they love that movie.
Uncut Jams.
Oh, someone's getting flowers.
Who do you think it is?
Frank?
Do you prefer cut or uncut Jams?
You know, it's like a Cracker Jack prize.
I don't go for it, but when I find the prize, when I find an uncut jam.
You want it to be a surprise?
Sometimes, but it's kind of a given when you run in the Latino circles.
You know what you're going to get.
But, you know, it's a nice surprise when it does happen.
I'm like a random white guy.
On average, are they bigger? Factually, it's extra nice surprise when it does happen. Like, I'm like a random white guy. On average, are they big?
Factually, it's extra dick, so more dick is always good.
Pardon?
Do you find them to be bigger?
No, it doesn't matter.
Dinkier?
No.
Good question.
I never really had a strong dick cheese.
Have you, Trish?
How much longer is this show?
I prefer a cut gem, but I will take an uncut gem.
What's the percentage?
How many are uncut?
I thought everybody circumcised.
Europeans, I think, don't like circumcising.
Europeans.
Oh, Greer is sitting there with a guilty face.
Uh-oh.
He's from Canada.
Uncut Greer.
He's sitting there with a guilty face.
Oh.
Show it.
I'm good. Got this in the cam? Oh, you can see oh show it oh you can see it that's called a moose knuckle ladies
that's how he got the nickname machine gun
that's how he got the nickname scorpion
have either of you guys ever docked
that nickname was actually he brought one to a mall
I've docked now that's when I
someone who's uncut goes with a
uncut guy and you take
his foreskin and stretch it over your dick
to make it like one big foreskin.
We need to change the topic
of conversation.
What's the chat?
Want to weigh in?
Miss?
What's the chat?
Uncut Boys stand up
oh Greer stand
you're the only one?
I don't know how this happened
that's actually a good Tommy rumor
that Mike Greer is uncircumcised
you guys can end this at any time
I'm with you girl
next Christmas party
Fran and Ben Mintz live together
next Christmas party is Greer is uncircumcised
and he got into a fight with Brian Fitzsimmons over it.
The next room is Greer got circumcised at the company party.
That's what I was going to say.
You invited Brian Simmons to his adult circumcision.
Yeah.
Who else would be in Greer's uncircumcised adult male group?
Adult press.
At Barstool, yeah.
FD Lo gets circumcised like every two weeks.
Yeah, it's like a $75
process.
Just take a little off the top this time.
It's just good. Feel good. Play good.
TJ,
did you have a best of
Yak Super Bowl video you wanted to play for us?
Yep. It's 30
minutes long, so do you want me to just play
like this?
We could have been playing that a half hour ago is that gonna be released next
monday because we're off next monday we're gonna release the season six recap this one's just this
week this week's recap yeah i don't think we got the okay to release this one yet all right never
mind we can do radio i think they're on flights that That's what... I think it's privated on YouTube.
Oh.
Never mind.
Teaser.
Can you show the teaser?
Oh, yeah.
You want to do it and then sign off?
Yeah.
Cool.
What the fuck? KB no swag You're still warming. Okay.
Keep going over. Hell yeah, that looks awesome, TJ.
Thank you.
How exciting.
Is that going to be one big episode?
Yeah.
If you guys wanted to, you guys could compliment our week in L.A.
We could get a teaser for that one.
That's awesome.
What's up?
Can we get a teaser for best of this episode
at some point
that's very funny
it's just going to be
Tank's light skinned face
Frank Lipbite episode
can we make someone
eat the banana
yeah
let's end with the wheel
we'll do
banana
also to anyone listening
I'm sorry
I don't think there's anything to apologize for banana. Also, to anyone listening, I'm sorry.
I don't think there's anything to apologize for.
This was fun.
Thank you guys all for coming on.
I appreciate you guys.
Well, it's going to be the last one probably.
Everyone's going to miss us.
I just love getting this group back together.
The old gang back together.
What is this we're doing the wheel for?
Banana.
A banana.
And you have to drink a Red Bull with a banana.
No, we don't know the form of the banana yet.
That'll be a second wheel.
Is this first person or last person? Yeah, sing it, Frank.
Tommy, you're safe.
Will loves Tommy.
Sing it, Frank.
We're going to find out who's going to eat the banana.
Heel on the yak, keeps on spinning.
Wow, Frank is safe.
I won't be eating a banana.
I'm safe, too.
Oh, it's going in order?
You didn't pull me, TJ.
Oh, get the fuck out.
Greer spelled wrong. You're safe. me, TJ. Oh, get the fuck out. Greer, spelled wrong.
You're safe.
Cut Greer.
Oh, it's the last one.
That's who gets to eat it?
Look at this.
Look who's going to be the ones eating the bananas.
Brooklyn Lesbian, you are safe.
I'm actually glad Ken Jack didn't lose this one after.
Right?
Yeah. Are these because you are voting lose this one after. Right? Yeah.
Are these because you are voting or this is just random?
Just random.
God, oh.
Would really be fitting.
Three men left.
It's going to be you.
All gay.
I can feel it.
I'm out.
Oh, no.
Juan's going to fucking rig it.
One, three, five, or seven, Pat.
One, three, five, or seven.
What?
Best of.
Seven.
All right, best of seven.
Wait.
Whoever it lands on is eating.
Okay.
It's not eating.
It's eating.
It's eating.
It's eating.
It's eating.
Yes.
1-0-1.
1-0-1. 1-0-1.
Oh, but whoever gets four has to do it.
Yes.
You're going to get it again right here.
You're going four in a row.
You're fucked.
Oh, yeah, that's two.
You're done.
Toast.
That's talking too bad about the wheelies.
Is there karma involved in the wheel?
Oh, yeah.
So I might as well keep my mouth shut then.
Oh, no. Keep fighting well keep my mouth shut. Oh, no.
Keep fighting.
Keep fighting.
You got to push.
All right.
So this is your death.
The gladiator thumb.
Uh-oh.
He lives.
3-1.
We've come back from 3-2, 3-1, never a 3-0 lead.
Mm-hmm.
I don't...
And there she is.
All right, so what do you have to do now?
We'll put up...
T-Slam?
Slow banana, fast banana, red bull banana.
What's red Bull banana.
The potassium of a Red Bull really fucks with the potassium
of a banana in your stomach. You throw up
for hours. Oh my god.
Really?
Oh my god.
I thought it was Sprite. Put that up twice.
You throw up like immediately?
Yeah, projectile. Mainly everywhere.
I feel like that's a bad idea.
Yeah, it's pretty fast. It goes...
Alright, spin it.
It shoots out.
Is this one?
She's nervous.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Come on.
That's, like, on the line.
Yes.
You guys can keep talking.
I don't want to.
You're glutton.
Yeah.
What do you have to do now?
You do ASMR with it.
Throw it.
That wasn't slow.
Well, it's red bull.
Oh, no, no.
You didn't get the red bull banana.
You got the slow banana.
Slow banana.
No, he got red bull.
No, he got slow banana.
No, he got slow banana.
Well, it's too late now. Keep talking. slow banana. Well, it's too late now.
Keep talking.
All right, well, it's already in there.
No one is eating the banana.
Might as well swallow it.
That's the yak.
Wash her down.
Wash her down. Outro Music It's the act. It's the act.