The Yak - The Mean Girls are Finally Back in the Office...Kinda | The Yak 6-6-23
Episode Date: June 6, 2023Where's Jordan?You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hello, everyone.
Hey.
Hello.
No fuck you to Brandon Walker.
Of course.
That goes without saying.
Should we say why or just?
No, he just said he's a narcissist.
It has nothing to do with narcissism.
Shit.
Alan Walker showed up.
What was Brandon just saying?
Brandon was trying to
defend himself and he goes
he goes
it's the anniversary of D-Day
and people are mad about
a trivia game. June 6th, all those great
as if something that Brandon
was thinking about all day was D-Day.
June 6th, 1944. He woke up today
and he was like fuck, today was D-Day.
Brandon thinks about what Brandon Walker what he was going on in his life.
It wasn't narcissistic.
I actually made a mistake.
I was talking trash to Rico.
That's what it was.
Disgust me.
You stormed over there like the troops at Normandy to Rico and fucking talk trash.
It's on camera.
I was right here.
Do you want to pay your respect?
You're a big daddy.
No, why don't you tell us about DJ?
I want to hear it.
Such a historian.
Who are we memorializing?
Name all the beaches.
If you're such a D-Day fan, name all the beaches.
There's Normandy.
Normandy's not a beach.
Normandy was where they stormed.
Oh, you fool.
Was Omaha Beach at Normandy?
You're the fan.
I know the answer, but you're the fan.
I'm not a fan of D-Day.
I'm surprised you even have work today.
Big fan of D-Day.
Wow.
79th anniversary. If you're such a fan, D-Day. I'm surprised you even have work today. Big fan of D-Day. Wow. 79th anniversary.
If you're such a fan, name all your favorite beaches.
Why are you doing this?
I was trying to talk to Trash-T-Rico.
I didn't mean to spoil the dozen.
A lot of Medal of Honor recipients who gave their lives there.
Tell us about just one of them.
Who are your top five?
Name the beaches.
Name the fucking beaches.
My grandfather, for one.
There's no way. Name the fucking beaches. My grandfather, for one.
There's no way.
Knew some people.
Probably knew some people.
Who's generally aware of it.
They weren't the same generation.
Google tragedies to try to see.
I knew today was D-Day.
I mean, June 6th.
That's a very obvious day.
It's not. It is pretty. I've gone to Normth, that's a very obvious day. It is pretty.
I've gone to Normandy.
It's fucking wild.
Yeah.
Is it sweet?
It is.
Storing the beaches?
It's nuts.
Yeah, I did.
Storing the beaches.
Is there a triumphant feel there, or is it sad?
Oh, yeah, they love Americans there.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Is it like a popping beach to people who like beach that go beach?
People are beaching there, yeah.
Going there, yeah.
You can see some of the old like encased,
I don't know what they call.
Bullet shells.
I stormed the beaches of Normandy in,
I think it was Battlefield or Call of Duty.
Yeah, Call of Duty.
Call of Duty was sick, yeah.
It was horrifying.
Medal of Honor too.
Yeah.
That's way crazier than what I said.
I mean.
He served.
I was in it.
I went through that.
He was in the shit.
At the time when a PS2 and Xbox just came out,
it felt real.
It did.
You could pause it and go make a frozen pizza.
Never.
The amount of brothers that I lost while storming.
You better watch your fucking mouth.
You could die and then come back and start over.
Yeah, but it was a lot of pride and staying a lot brandon
went to normandy they'd be called me boats
brandon been like it's a little too sunny today i'll tell you a person do this on a on a more
hey tj i think it actually was cloudy yeah i need to talk to you bye i just want to say something
to you from the bottom of my heart are you ready i going to mute your mic if you tell my dad to go fuck you.
Fuck your dad.
Oh.
I see it.
For once in my life, I stand with Tim Hitchings.
Fuck Tim Hitchings.
I've always loved Tim Hitchings.
I've always thought he's an upstanding man.
You call him a loser.
No, I don't.
I did.
What did he do that's so bad?
He's material change.
He's no longer.
I'll say it right now. Breaking news, Tim Hitchings, winner.
Wow.
Hear that?
EJ, that's got to mean a lot to you.
Winner.
A lot to the family.
That guy wins.
Well, he's.
And anyone who's on his wrong side's a loser.
So you want to get at me so bad that you're telling me that Tim Hitchings is now a winner?
Material change, my friend.
People change.
Spent two years calling him a loser.
Live golf and PGA Tour together now.
Brandon's heard that speech before.
People change.
Yeah.
You change.
I can change.
Everybody can change.
Can we pull up the picture?
You're really on this, aren't you?
That was a perfect segue.
Stephen Che just nailed it.
But you've been waiting for Rocky.
You waited seven minutes.
Randy got a perfect segue.
You look like Drago's wife's haircut.
You have the picture?
Bridget Nielsen's haircut.
Flavor Flav's girlfriend.
Yeah.
All-time hottie.
Flavor Flav?
Look at that.
That's it.
Identical.
Whoa. Itical. Whoa.
It is.
I didn't know Che had that in him.
Okay, good work.
Che was nice like that.
Is this making you all feel good?
No, it is.
It is absolutely making me feel great.
I feel awesome right now.
For somebody who doesn't care about the dozen,
you sure do care about the dozen You sure don't care about the dozen
I care about the fans
That's the one thing
The fans are what pay our salaries
If we didn't have fans
We'd be fucking sitting in a parking lot
Talking to each other
They just care about the fans Brandon
Oh he doesn't care about the fans
I actually feel bad for the fans
I feel awful for the fans
I could shed a tear.
They don't know whether to...
No, don't.
I'll hold it together.
They don't know whether to sit here and be like,
should I mourn the spoiling of the dozen or D-Day?
Well, it's a battle.
D-Day is pretty much happening in my head right now.
I'm trying to come up with that decision.
Same.
Grandfathers fought in wars.
Tim Hitchings actually organized a baddies watch party tonight
that was going to be double the size of Kirk's.
Kirk's watch party was awesome.
It was so sick.
It was good.
I loved it.
Kirk had a watch party for our match?
Yes.
I mean, people, he's not going to have a watch party for a loss.
Right.
So that, in a way, was a spoil.
I just love that everyone who showed up,
I love everyone who showed up, that's just ride or die.
That's ride or die.
Where is this?
This is awesome.
Like, this is awesome.
I fucking love this so much.
Look at those dudes.
Those are salt of the earth.
That's a whole movie theater full of salt of the earth.
That's pretty good.
Isn't that a movie theater?
It seemed like a movie theater.
It looked like a movie theater.
It looked like a movie theater to me.
All right.
No?
Go watch The Dozen.
We can move on.
Go watch The Dozen. Go re move on. Go watch The Dozen.
Go re-watch.
Everyone please watch.
KB's match against Kirk.
Watch all the matches that come out.
Support the show.
Support the show.
Jeff D'Lo puts a lot of hard work in it.
Some people just ruin all his hard work.
We look tough.
No,
Shay looks ridiculous.
We look tough.
I think Shay looks
exactly like himself.
No,
he doesn't.
I look like Pinocchio.
Pinocchio?
Before he lied.
Small nose Pinocchio?
So just a real boy.
Truth telling Pinocchio.
Very shiny cheeks.
I look like a...
You do have shiny cheeks, don't you?
The filter has done some people very right and some people very wrong.
Well, I'm right there with you, buddy.
Who's that Owen Wilson guy?
Next to TJ.
Great cheekbones on him.
Beautiful lips.
Kissable lips on Patty the Batty.
I'll just say that about the lad.
Oh, wow.
Oh, that's fun.
Dude.
Who's that?
I recognize him.
Chris O'Connor.
Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope.
From Stuff Island.
Got it.
Tommy Pope started his comedy career on like the same night that Smitty did or something like that.
What?
Smitty started his comedy career.
79 years ago today. With the same night that Smitty did or something like that. What? Where Smitty started his comedy career. 79 years ago today.
With the same open mic?
Oh, you bastard sass.
Oh, you fucking nailed that.
You son of a bitch bastard.
You got it.
I read that big D-Day book.
It was awesome.
It's like 700 pages.
I read that big D-Day.
I'm sure there's thousands of books about it.
No, no.
It's called D-Day.
It's like 700 pages.
I know exactly which one you're talking about.
Yeah.
It's the D-Day book.
Thank you, Sass.
I wrote it.
David Ambrose.
I just said it.
David Ambrose.
You didn't just say it.
I just said it.
He did.
And I said it, too.
David Ambrose.
You're a really bad person today.
Yeah, you're a really bad person. yeah you're really bad person i think that
wasn't a trivia question he's just wrote the dj book scratching along for a win and he can't find
it i was i was i was sitting there and i was talking to rico on the show and he was bragging
about winning and i said oh don't say it again don't don't don't spoil it again how how is that
possible it'll be a fresh spoil for everyone who didn't catch the last one.
Big D day.
Probably a bunch of people who it still hasn't been spoiled for.
I'd say, honestly, a majority.
Good.
Did Jeff text you yet?
Do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way?
Yeah, he's in my text.
What did he say?
What's he saying?
Fucking shit.
I told him I was spoiled
on Pick Central. He said,
he's like, alright, we'll get past
it. Just don't talk about it on the Yak.
Alright, so don't talk about it on the Yak.
Alright.
Are we live?
We're about to go live in a minute.
Do the rollback, Ed.
I already did it. Okay.
What do you guys want to talk about?
I feel like there's only one thing on my mind.
You do?
There's a massive thing in the front of my mind.
Ah.
The white elephant.
What?
Oh, Nadeau?
Oh, yeah, Nadeau.
What the fuck?
Man, we lost some of our best men on June 6th.
We brought him in here.
Dude.
Yeah, Idle was the return.
Yeah, but we voted him out.
Shooting star.
He'll be back.
Yeah, yeah.
Correct me if this is the third time he's quit?
Second time, I believe.
Third time we've lost him.
Yeah, the third time we've lost. Kind of had a part-time gig for a while, then said, I'm done.
Then came back for Idol, stuck around for a little bit, then said, I'm done.
Oh, yeah, he did say he was done on Idol.
We got him back before Idol, right?
He's quit a full-time job at Barstool Sports two times, which is quite impressive.
He also quit during Idol when he didn't have a full-time job.
Right.
And he was still brought back, which is why you think he's going to be brought back again.
Do you admire him, though, when he got laughed at for asking for a lot of money?
He just walked out?
No.
Not at all.
Do you think our HR department had just a deep sigh of relief?
Yeah.
They probably took the rest of the day off.
Like, well,
they just took the entire Nadeau file
and threw it in the trash.
Half of HR probably had to get let go yesterday.
There's no way we need all of you anymore.
Yeah, just the fucking pages of nice rack tweets.
So when he gets rehired,
are they going to have to take that out of the trash
or does it start fresh?
Is it like a completely fresh start where none of the old HR violations count?
I would like to release the HR files just heavily redacted like CIA files.
Yeah, just a big line.
Probably have a whole department for Nadeau and Stu.
The 9-11 commission report.
It just releases files that are like Jeff N, the dude tweeted nice blacked out.
Yeah.
Like you just figure out.
It's just a girl with big tits.
Redacted.
Odds he winds up at brick.
What?
Oh, I don't think so.
No, I think Dave's pretty taken aback by Nadeau's offer.
I thought him a selfish pig, right?
Yeah. Listen, he said that he's offer. I thought him a selfish pig, right? Yeah. Yeah.
Listen, he said that he's got
He's betting on himself.
Betting on himself.
Again,
this happened last time
where he bet on himself
and was like,
I made a mistake.
So we'll see.
I would like for him
to just keep coming back
for every Barstool Idol.
Love it.
If there's going to be
one in Chicago,
when's the next Barstool Idol?
I don't know.
Yak Idol was so much fun. It was. It was stressful, though. Love it. If there's going to be one in Chicago, when's the next Barstool Idol? I don't know. Yak Idol was so much fun. It was. It was stressful
though. Super stressful.
It was very stressful.
It was the worst me and KB
ever had as a relationship
stretch. It was that week.
Yeah, you guys were going through it.
We were butting heads. I was getting into that.
I was kind of having fun.
Clemmer, John Rich, Caroline, Danny.
Danny Jekyll.
Yeah.
Five people.
I think overall, Caroline's a star.
Yes.
We did a good job.
That was me.
People were upset.
People were upset after.
John Rich.
You were pounding the table, man.
Caroline cannot work here.
Caroline, if you watch back the tapes, I'm responsible for all the successful hires. No, you were like, Caroline cannot work here. If you watch back the tapes, I'm responsible for all the successful
hires. No, you were like, Caroline cannot
work here. She's a threat to my success.
A threat to Anus' success
at this company.
I may have said that. It was good that we had Dave
show up because remember he was just like,
oh, John Rich, you're hired. Because John Rich
probably would have won.
And then we wouldn't have had Caroline.
And Clemmer.
Or Danny.
Clemmer.
Yeah, those are all good.
Those were all good.
You guys nailed it.
What does they do?
Mudda bing.
He made waves.
He made a splash.
He's a shooting star.
It was the show.
Some are saying that the death that they do was done by one person here.
Who's that?
Steven Che.
He never really recovered after Che put him in a body bag.
No.
Do you count that as a kill count?
I don't think so. I mean, Brandon's been taking layup lines on that guy for weeks.
Yeah, can I still use him as batting practice?
I would assume so.
No, no, no.
You can't.
You can't.
I can't?
I don't know.
You can't.
How am I going to stay sharp? Like, after this show, no. You can't. You can't. I can't? I don't know. You can't. How am I going to
stay sharp?
I need, like, after
this show, I need
something to do.
You need a new
punching bag.
But, I mean, if he
was making $100K in
Lancaster, he's got to
be a pretty solid for
what?
Generational wealth.
Yeah, for one hour of
work.
That's insane.
That's live tour money.
To do a podcast?
Yeah.
The dude's grandkids
What did he need $200K for? On his TikTok, too. He's running a podcast. Yeah. The dude's What did he need
200k for?
In his TikTok too.
He's running
Buying Lancaster?
He was putting
a down payment
on the whole town?
He was doing
like an Amish relocation
project
so that people
would stop saying that.
I don't even know
what he would need
that much money to do.
The most nervous guy
on the planet
has to be his landlord
because he just moved.
He bought a house though.
He's got cash. He's a landlord. He's fine. You guys got his landlord because he just moved. He bought a house, though, didn't he? He's got cash.
He's a landlord.
He's fine.
You guys got him fucked up on some ends.
He's flush.
He'll be fine.
You want to see him at the club?
The first person to go will be the bottle service.
He's very good at acting on logic instead of emotion, so I'm pretty sure he thought this through.
He's making the right decision.
I know him correctly.
And you do because you've been boys with him
for quite some time. You guys are geography brothers.
Yes.
You destroyed him in that. I did. I wiped the floor with him.
So you need someone to do
layup lines on too. I do.
We all need a practice dummy.
Underrated.
Maybe he was worth that $200,000.
I really am.
I know you don't
really care no and you know that i deep down love you i know but i know you don't care too
that's the best part is you know deep down always have your back but front facing can't can't let
anyone know that yeah you just you just you're just hitting some ball batting practice right
now i'm grooving 60 mile an hour pitches for for you, and you're hitting them off the wall.
You're putting on a tee.
I'm tee ball batting right now with, like, unlimited strikes.
Like, you can't.
The only thing that can happen is a walk or a hit.
You can't strike out.
How are you going to walk and tee ball?
Just sit there and be like, I want to go to first.
And they just let you go to first.
Where'd you get that Red Bull?
I got a stash.
Fuck.
Don't you worry about it, brother.
Order some sass.
Aren't you close to T-Ball?
Have you gotten to T-Ball yet?
When is T-Ball?
Four.
Four or five.
I was going to start five.
Okay, five.
All right.
My son's turning four.
They got it for three and four-year-olds, but they don't know what they're doing.
Yeah, I think about that.
I bought my son a baseball glove the other day and we played with it for like maybe
five minutes.
Then he's like, he just went and hit his sister with it.
It was like, all right, that's done.
Like the attention span is just so small.
It's so, so short when you're that young.
I saw a tee ball or a wiffle ball pitcher just plunking a kid in the face multiple times
this past what
are they trying to do with organized sports with three-year-olds i can't believe it soccer they're
not playing i guess it's just like socialize on the canvas give them some paint let them express
their creativity i did soccer with my son and then he uh there was one kid who just would always show
up late one of his friends would show up late and his mom would always bring fruit snacks so my son
would have the attention span for soccer for like 10 minutes kid would show up late, and his mom would always bring fruit snacks. So my son would have the attention span for soccer for like 10 minutes.
Kid would show up, fruit snacks.
You got to sit that mom down.
Run into the woods.
That was it.
You got to sit her down and have her talking to you.
My kid infiltrated the other team's snacks the other day, and it was awkward.
Our team had chips and cookies, but the other team had pizza.
I turned around, and my son was over there and had a slice of pizza.
Surrounded by the wrong uniform.
I had to apologize, but they were cool.
They didn't care.
It was for the kids, but it was awkward.
That's the best part about being a kid, though.
You can do whatever the fuck you want.
What kind of snacks did your guys' parents bring?
Were they healthy snacks?
Were they shitty snacks? Were they shitty snacks?
Were they fantastic snacks?
Holy shit.
I feel like it was always Oreo.
Oh, Alex Bennett.
You should get her in here.
It was always Oreos and orange slices at halftime, Oreos after the game.
You definitely should get her in here.
At halftime?
Yeah, we never had variety.
It was always orange slices and maybe a Capri Sun if you were lucky.
Orange slices hydrates you.
Yeah, we just had orange slices for everything.
It is.
It is.
Like a bag.
It would come in a Ziploc bag.
We never did that.
We ate poorly down there.
She had a ton of orange slices.
Do whatever you want.
Fried catfish in the first quarter.
The other day, my son had to pee.
We were outside, and I just let him pee in a bush.
He's like, why don't you pee in this bush?
I was like, well, it's different when I do it versus you.
School zone, son.
You said the other day you love peeing in bushes.
I do, but not in the middle of Brooklyn where people can see.
I think I'd get in trouble.
I peed on the side of the street in Brooklyn.
You did?
Because Francis dropped me off in the middle of nowhere.
We were coming home from a show and he was like, I'll take you close to the middle of nowhere. We were coming home from a show,
and he was like,
I'll take you close to the highway or something,
so it'll be easy for you to get an Uber.
And I was just in the middle of fucking nowhere,
and I had to pee so bad,
and I peed on the side of the street.
You probably were.
I don't think there's a middle of nowhere in Brooklyn.
You don't get picked up easier on a highway.
It was for his convenience.
Yeah, the most densely populated place. It was the middle of nowhere. I don't get picked up easier on the highway. It was for his convenience. Yeah, the most densely populated place.
It was the middle of nowhere.
I don't know.
I had to do it.
Tumbleweed.
I had to pee so bad.
But I was scared while doing it.
Che, you want to get Alex Bennett?
Want to get her in here?
See what she's up to?
Is she going to get her into the first day back?
Juicy drama extra pulp
in the Everest world.
Yeah, there is.
What about the guy
that saved the guy?
Yes.
Did you just do a blog title?
Yeah, it was juicy drama
and it's unpleasant.
It's bad.
It's nasty.
Ravi Everest,
a Malaysian man.
He's this big
in the mountaineering world.
His name is Everest?
He collapsed on the mountain
close to the summit, passed out,
saved by a Sherpa on another team.
Different story.
Not our guy.
Not our guy.
The Sherpa puts Ravi on his back, saves his life.
Ravi isn't acknowledging him and blocked him on Instagram.
What?
He has his own company where he leads people up mountains
and doesn't want that tarnished, like his credibility tarnished.
What a dickhead.
Robbie Everest, you're fucked.
Kyle just talked about you on the yak.
He's done.
Oh my God.
Oh no.
So he's mad because he doesn't want people to know
that he was in trouble?
Or is it like a Lieutenant Dan thing?
Like, my last name's Everest.
I was born to die on this mountain.
Probably both.
Should've let me die.
And then there's claims that this guy, there's no official record of him ever summiting Everest.
What?
Avi Everest?
Avi Everest.
Holy shit.
There's been a lot of drama up there lately.
Hello, Alex.
Alex, hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello, everybody.
Hello, hello.
Hi, Kate.
What's going on?
How are you?
I'm great.
How about you?
Good.
It's great to see you.
I'm finally going to be able to sleep tonight knowing you came in the office.
You saw me last week.
That's true.
Don't be dramatic.
What's been going on?
How's your guys?
I feel like I saw Alana yesterday.
I wanted to ask about you guys.
How you guys are doing?
We're good.
Yeah?
Yeah.
We're just like, we're enjoying being out of the office right now.
Yeah, I'm sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a big time.
I'm just working on myself right now.
I'm enjoying being single.
How do you feel about the people who wanted you in the office
or had to be in the office?
That would be fine, but we ask Dave, Erica, and Gaz all the time,
are we good in or do we need to come in the office. That would be fine, but we ask Dave, Erica, and Gaz all the time,
are we good in, do we need to come in, or are we good out?
And I feel like if the answer was any different,
then we would obviously act accordingly.
What is the answer they tell you?
Do your thing.
Do your thing.
Do you miss us?
Yeah.
That's a lie.
No, it's not.
What good would lying do me at this point?
I don't know.
You don't really miss us.
What good would not lying do to you? Yeah. Like, I don't miss you.
Right. I miss
you, Roan. Thank you. Likewise.
Why did you do that? That's the correct thing.
Go around the room. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think that's fair. Like, I
see your face pop up and stuff, and I'm like, okay,
I always talk to you. Yeah. Yeah, like, there's
that aspect. You and I talked. A little,
but not that much. Yeah, no, Brandon, she doesn't miss you.
Okay, do you miss us?
Yeah, you said a little.
I said a little, yeah.
Miss Kyle?
I see KB in the streets sometimes, but yeah.
Like, there's more of you than the people that I talk to more.
Yeah.
That's who you're going to miss.
Brandon, you do not miss whatsoever.
No, I just, I never talk to you that much.
I feel like the big-
Do y'all train these people to do this?
Comes natural to a lot of us.
Yeah.
It just always felt that way.
What's the Taylor Swift?
The problem is me?
It's me.
Hi, I'm the problem.
That's Bryn.
She just wore that shirt.
Never had an issue.
I'm kidding.
Oh, you're not?
I don't talk to you that often.
You're never here. It's true. I deserve that one back. an issue i'm kidding oh you're not i don't i don't talk to you that often you can never hear
it's true i deserve that one back was it was it uh was it bad on your mental health when all that
shit first happened it it really wasn't i i think people like have this well of course everyone has
a different narrative because we didn't really put one out there so that's only to be expected
like we didn't really control it because we didn't really respond one out there. So that's only to be expected. Like we didn't really control it because we didn't really respond
because a lot of our listeners live on Instagram.
So it sort of was like a Twitter thing.
So if we talked about it on the pod,
we just got these DMs that were like,
what do you, like, what happened?
What are you guys really talking about?
I thought Keegs did a phenomenal job.
Like that was a great blog.
All of it was, that's like what makes Barstool Barstool.
It just made us take a step back because we were like, we kind of have a great blog. All of it was, that's what makes Barstool Barstool. It just made us take a step back because we were like,
we kind of have a different demographic,
so whatever we respond with will be out there forever.
It just didn't live.
We were kind of like, I don't know if it's worth it,
so we just really didn't say anything.
But no, it wasn't bad on the mental health or anything,
and I love Keegs, always will.
I honestly thought it was like very well done and like
you get to have that opinion of course
I just didn't have much to say back cause like
sometimes I don't know if dinosaurs were
like how are you gonna defend that
I've been seeing it bubble up a lot too a lot of other
people don't think dinosaurs exist
like I think that
we just had two guys on our podcast and they were like
absolutely not they didn't exist
what was it they say?
It's the left-wing media or something like that?
Yeah, something like that.
Oh, boy.
He's brewing.
I know.
He's brewing right now.
Oh, y'all talk.
Stewing and brewing.
Has it changed how you-
I don't understand.
Where's your stash of Red Bulls?
Aaron needs a Red Bull.
Not telling.
Has it changed your content on your podcast?
No, it's-
I mean, the only thing that's different is we don't record in here.
But otherwise, no.
We still do the meetings the same and the structure of what we talk about.
All the same.
Let's finish it.
No way.
Why not?
Secondhand fucking...
I'm not having your back.
Fourthhand.
I'm as healthy as an ox.
Yeah.
What was that laugh?
What was that noise? Wish you were as healthy as an ox. Yeah. What was that laugh? What was that noise?
Wish you were as healthy as an ox.
Alex, not to bring up something bad, but I was thinking about you the other day.
I listened to a podcast called Sonic Boom.
Oh.
I actually don't think that your father-in-law, like, there's a lot more blame to go around
than just him being the bad guy.
Did this podcast say that? Yeah, they were like, there's a lot of people to blame around than just him being the bad guy. Did this podcast say that?
Yeah, they were like, there's a lot of people to blame.
Yeah, initially they needed someone.
Right.
But if you really—
You got scapegoated.
They were like, there's a lot more at play.
There was this one guy in Seattle who basically was running a political action group
to make it so that the Sonics would never get a new stadium.
And he was interviewed
after he's like yeah I probably shouldn't have gone that hard well now Howard Schultz like he
like people hate him oh yeah oh yeah yeah there was so much more like so much more at play it was
interesting found the podcast interesting and I was thinking of you I know that guy kind of not
really kind of no yeah kind of no what's Graham up to? Graham is working and traveling.
Just doing his thing.
You guys good?
Yeah.
Okay, good.
Yeah, we're good.
Yeah, yeah, we're good.
Why?
Why are you guys asking?
I just like Graham.
It's a funny thing to ask.
It's a what?
It's just a funny thing to ask.
Why is it funny?
I don't know.
It's funny to be like, how's your marriage's new with the show how's your intimacy with your
husband how are you guys my buddy my buddy got married over covet and we did his bachelor party
a year after and when we were all just really fucked up at like two in the morning one of my
other friends literally was just like so how was the first year of marriage and we're like what the
i saw graham recently where's he at walking pickleball court i guess this was like a month your marriage. And we're like, what the fuck? I saw Graham recently.
Where was he at?
Walking.
Pickleball court?
I guess this was like
a month ago.
He was like,
I was right before
I was going to Iceland.
And it seemed like
he wanted me to invite him
to go to Iceland.
Oh.
He probably did.
By the look on his face?
It was like,
he was doing like
Frank the Tank.
He was like,
I wish I could go to Iceland.
I've always wanted
to go to Iceland. I was like, Frank the Tank. I wish I could go to Iceland. I've always wanted to go to Iceland.
I was like, yeah, yeah.
Should have invited him, bro.
I was leaving in like five seconds to just say, hey, come along.
I was literally leaving within like two hours.
He might be the type of dude who's like, all right, I'm in.
Yeah, that would have been awesome for him.
What a story.
He 100% would have gone.
Yeah.
The clip of you realizing that he doesn't drink,
but you guys sat at the bar and took shots at Reverend Ross.
We would have made him drink.
Like my favorite thing ever.
Your guys' podcast quality has been fantastic as you travel everywhere, though,
which I guess is a tip of the cap to your producer.
Thank you.
It always sounds great.
Really good.
Alana is a seasoned veteran.
Seasoned vet.
And always good backdrops and everything.
Where have the backdrops been?
Where do you guys go?
Last one was in Charlotte, but we always have to FaceTime Alana and say, give us the okay.
And then now we know how to set it up.
We were there for the NASCAR race.
And then we were in Dallas.
We're about to go on Pink Whitney tour, so we'll be gone a lot.
Yeah, I was going to say, where's your next trips?
Nashville.
The opening of the bar?
Yep.
Wait, when are you going to be there?
That whole week and then staying for the NASCAR race.
June what?
June 25th?
24th.
Oh, okay.
We're going the week before.
Wait, why are y'all going?
Who's going?
Tight End U.
PMT's going for a day.
For what?
Tight End U. Oh, I'm going a day. For what? Tight End U.
Oh, I'm going to that.
Oh, okay.
See you there.
Okay, that's a Tuesday.
You're going to Tight End U?
We'll do that.
Did you watch Air?
Yes.
Okay, I liked it.
I would have loved to have watched it at home.
What did you think?
Where's Jordan?
I think he said because he had such a big role in it.
No, no, no.
You're a co-host.
I thought you meant where's Jordan Woodruff.
Yeah, where is she?
She didn't come along?
She's in Michael's face, you know, in the movie.
They didn't show Michael.
That was my biggest issue, my biggest qualm for sure.
But where is Jordan Woodruff?
Did you mean to do that set like that, though, to me?
Set up.
Yeah, you got it.
Now do you miss him?
Now do you miss him a little bit more?
I do, yeah.
It was good.
I always miss him.
Guys, and I feel like you know that.
Brandon, you know that.
It's fine.
Talk about now.
Wait, so where is Jordan?
Tomorrow she'll be in.
What?
Yeah, we've got a meeting upstairs at 10, and then we record at 11.
Two.
We should booby trap the place.
Yeah, we're meeting with this whole strategy thing.
What?
Could you think you could book her for the act?
She slammed.
No, no, I wasn't booked for the act. You haven't been to the office
in a year. No. Did you get hit in the face
with an iron going upstairs?
I won't go back.
There's booby traps
everywhere. No, we could never
do that to Jordan. No. The goat.
You guys have attempted booby
traps though before, right? Yeah.
Yeah. Hard Hard Of course
Hard as fuck
Very hard
The Vietnamese really figured it out
Oh man they had some of the best booby traps in the world
Why are they called booby traps
Eight
I think it makes you think
That's a good question
I don't know
I really don't know why they're called booby traps
Let's find that out TJ
Yeah
Inquisitive
Should know
There's always the birds that show up called the blue-footed booby.
Always gets a giggle out of me.
That is funny.
A blue-footed booby.
They have boobies?
No, it's just a regular-breasted bird.
Breast no different from the rest of the birds that you'll see out in the animal kingdom.
Who is going to take over the mantle of being our tits guy now that Nedu's gone?
I mean, Glennie is...
Yeah, Glennie's pretty knowledgeable.
Is that a float?
You heard Jeff Nedu's gone?
I did.
Yeah.
It's all that.
Any thoughts, last words, a eulogy for him?
No.
Okay.
I didn't know.
A trap for a seabird known as a booby.
It was the booby bird they were trying to capture, Ron.
They got boobies. Oh, did you know that? I didn't, but I did know of theird known as a booby. It was the booby bird they were trying to capture, Ron. They got boobies.
Did you know that?
I didn't, but I did know if the blue-footed boobied the bird.
I didn't know that there was the correlation,
but you don't see the word booby that often these days.
No, really have blue feet.
Kind of a juvenile word.
They said there's no appropriate word for...
Boobies? They say breasts is too formal, boobs is too goofy for Like Breasts is too formal
Boobs is too goofy
Tits is too
Tits is the right tone
Over boobs?
I don't know
We used to say snaps in college
And then if a girl walked by
Snap
Let everyone know
That's respectful Oh, pretty good. Let everyone know. Oh, God.
That's respectful.
That's respectful.
I feel like that is kind of... It's a little like, hey, start snapping.
That can't be true.
I never heard snaps when I was a guy.
Me neither.
It's okay.
Would you snap more if they had, like, a better rack?
Just a quick, like, hey.
Like, okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
They probably knew exactly what was happening.
Yeah, probably.
And you guys were all looking at her breasts, and you were all snapping.
Mm-hmm.
Like, this is odd.
That was old.
I'm not.
Like a doo-wop band.
Yeah.
That was 18 years ago.
Oh, bro.
Because we're a gang.
The Sharks and the Jets.
All right, well, Alex, thank you for joining.
Yeah.
Of course.
Thanks for having me.
It's good to see you all.
Yeah.
For real. Yeah. YouTuber. No, yes. I feel like he joining. Of course, thanks for having me. It's good to see you all. For real.
I feel like he knows I'm kidding, but
maybe not. I feel like the cookies
have kind of slowed down though.
I know it's not you, but maybe you have her ear though.
You kind of have Kim's ear. What Kim does is
she just stuffs me with cookies like one
day a month.
Also, cocktails on Fridays
completely stopped.
I'm going to need to talk to her about her work ethic.
Great summer tradition.
Yeah, get her in line.
She doesn't make enough cookies now.
When she does come once a month, it's like...
She'll make four different types of cookies for Big Cat.
Stretch the content over the month.
She was making like 100 cookies, and they'd be gone in an instant.
Okay, yeah.
So good.
The banana pudding one she made, I still think about it.
A girl can cook.
She can.
I agree with that.
So good.
Well, Alex, thanks for setting the record straight.
It's tough to come back in here sometimes and when everybody's gossiping, but it sounds
like everything's on the straight and narrow.
You're acting like a host right now.
Yeah, thanks.
All right.
Get on out of here.
Yikes.
You just read it to talk show hosts.
Absolutely.
Yes, ladies.
Thanks to Alex Bennett, people.
I'm just saying.
These guys are together.
Okay, now that she's gone,
sounds like trouble in paradise
for those two.
It just went,
she got her Bob Barker shit.
Thanks so much
for playing The Price is Right.
We'll see you later.
That hurts, Brandon.
Yeah, yikes.
She was not kidding.
She went right to it.
She wasn't kidding at all.
Went right to it. It was immediate. I mean, Brandon, she was going to say the exact same thing to me, but. Yeah. Yeah, yikes. She was not kidding. She went right to it. She wasn't kidding at all. Went right to it.
It was immediate.
I mean, Brandon, she was going to say the exact same thing to me, but then we were like
making eye contact, and so she was like, yeah, I kind of miss us, I guess.
Yeah, she did say that.
She doesn't miss you.
I would have rather just been like, no.
Simple eye contact with Alex Bennett.
You communicated.
Don't say that to me.
Yes.
How'd you do that?
It was uncomfortable.
It was like you lock eyes with someone who's
uncomfortable to give
them bad information
unless you're a fucking
stone cold killer like
Damon John off Shark Tank
and from FUBU.
Damon John's not
breaking eye contact.
No.
Not either.
No.
Because you're like
Damon John.
Not really.
You're kind of like
Lori.
Yeah you are like
Lori just trying to get
every little trinket on QBC. Lori Lightfoot bro. Yeah. You're kind of like Lori. You are like Lori, just trying to get every little trinket on QVC.
Lori Lightfoot, bro.
You're mayor.
You're like Lori Heavyfoot.
60 miles away.
She's not mayor anymore.
Whoever's the mayor of Chicago, they're not my mayor.
I got some bad news for you, buddy.
I'm 60 miles away.
You might like his name.
I know his name.
Brandon. Brandon Johnson his name. Brandon.
Brandon Johnson.
Yeah.
Brandon Brothers.
D-Lo tweeted about you.
Oh, no.
Breaking news?
Yeah.
Oh.
Statement.
Nobody is dumber than the idiot who spoiled the dozen on the live show.
But close second are all the dicks who feel the need to reply to tweets or quote tweets things.
Further spreading the spoiled news for the many people who didn't know already.
It makes you just as much a selfish asshole.
That's calling me a selfish asshole. Thank you.
Yeah, no, you're the baseline of selfish
asshole. Other people are
aspiring to be. That was a good throw.
Dang, man.
And D-Lo don't get mad at anybody.
Oh, no.
Tim Hitchens is taking a victory lap about being a winner now.
He's a winner.
He deserves it.
How long do you think this will last?
Long time coming for Tim Hitchens.
No, he's a winner for life.
I'll never revoke his winner status.
Jeff D'Lo's out in fucking Chi-Town right now.
Is he?
He's already there warming it up.
Is everyone who Who goes?
We might not be there. TJ and the
baddies, we have to play them tonight. Okay.
So we'll see. And that was
not a spoiler because I genuinely don't know who's
going.
What?
Could never be. I might be there.
What happened? Yeah.
Yeah.
Are you going to cry?
He's not answering.
I'm looking up the lights.
Oh, okay.
I see.
Brandon will be there.
Not.
Ha.
All right, I feel like I'm treading in bad waters right now.
Kyle, yours is already aired.
Oh, yeah.
And a watch part.
You lost.
Yeah, fuck.
Yeah, but you could might.
You might be able to.
You don't know who will be there is the answer.
I don't know who's going to be there either.
We have no idea who's going to be there.
Well, clearly you guys know because now you're getting all fucking weird about it.
Well, it could be us.
It could be TJ.
It could be Brandon's team.
Let's just move on.
Let's just stop talking about the dozen.
There was a divisive moment in a match that has aired with Kirk's team.
Don't bring this up because
this didn't even register online.
Oh yeah, let's bring it up.
This is my team? Correct. What happened?
Well, Kirk
We're sure this is out? We're sure this aired?
This aired last night. So Kirk had
a phone a friend
of a fairly easy
music question that he couldn't put his
finger on what the tune was.
Brandon knew it and helped Team Minahan get the victory over Frank the Frankettes,
despite having many of his friends on the roster close friends.
I didn't think that was controversial.
Nick.
That hurt Nick more than I've seen anything hurt Nick that's ever happened in the office,
and I smoked him in the face with a football.
Yeah, there's a reason why
Nick's not here this week. He's mourning
that. Sabbatical. We said take
a couple days. Oh, he's not here because he said
he said I need some time after Brandon. He's in the woods.
Backstabbed you. He was like, I don't even know
what I'll do if I see Brandon.
I can't trust myself.
I will answer. If you ask me,
I will answer it. I was in, I was
sitting very close to brandon
during that and it was right near nick's seat and that's the maddest i've ever seen nick he was
legitimately furious yeah but i disagree because i don't want a muddy w like that yeah it's not
how the game works but a muddy l gives you moral high ground and it's really embarrassing they
didn't know every morning by sugar ray yeah that is embarrassing but didn't know Every Morning by Sugar Ray. Yeah, that is embarrassing. But didn't you just say the artist?
No, it was the song.
He aired it wrong.
Oh, it was his fault.
Oh, Jeff D. Lowe's to blame.
No, on the screen, the question was wrong.
He asked what was the song, and on the screen it said.
All right, well, let's move past all this.
Let's clean it up.
Brandon, let's go forward.
Let's first do a this. Let's clean it up. Brandon, let's go forward. Let's first do a High Noon ad.
Yes.
Brandon, paper airplane me that High Noon ad.
Just banging it off the tee.
It's so easy.
High Noon.
What have you done with yourself?
Look at all of this.
One thing after another.
He soiled his pants.
Non-stop reminders.
Gila Seltzer by High Noon. this he's just another he's soiled his pants non-stop reminders gillis elter by high noon
it's made with a clean finish with real blanco tequila and man is it delicious that's the thing
that i want to underline the most about this ad read is how damn good it tastes how refreshing
and how well it pairs with sunlight if it's a beautiful day if it's hot if it's muggy in fact
i looked over from brooklyn today i couldn't see the city because there was so much haze in the air
And I thought, what better way to cut that thick smog
Than with a delicious, crispy, perspiring high noon
Wet with the expectation of being drank
Sucked down, high noon tequila seltzer
Available nationwide
Strawberry, lime, grapefruit, passion fruit.
And you can get some if you're outdoors, if you're
indoors, or if you have one foot
in each of those realms. Look for them on Drizzly
or at your local convenience or liquor store
or visit highnoonspirits.com
to find it near you.
Great
ad read. It wasn't fair what you did
talking about where's Jordan.
That was... I knew... I kind of knew what you were itching around and you fucking got it. Yeah, I got it. It wasn't fair what you did talking about Where's Jordan. That was, I knew, I kind of knew what you were itching around,
and you fucking got it.
Yeah, I got it.
It worked.
He so excitedly had seen the movie.
Yeah.
As a Nike head.
You also hate that they didn't show Michael,
but what she enwrapped, I don't hate it.
I think it would have ruined it.
I think it adds to it, yeah.
Some guy that barely looked like, I, the.
He's one of the only guys you can't have someone else play.
Have you seen this new LeBron movie that they're about to come out with?
Really?
They're coming out with a LeBron movie where someone just plays LeBron
who looks nothing like LeBron.
Super unique face on that man.
Hard to do.
Yeah, like even Will Smith did a pretty good job with Ali.
Yes, but there's enough time passed where it's like
Ali is not in everybody's collective foreground of their consciousness.
Right.
Like LeBron is still at his athletic peak.
He should have just played himself.
Right.
This is LeBron?
Let me see the.
You can't even tell which one.
Oh, it's the one on the right.
No, absolutely.
Yeah.
Kind of.
Him?
Yeah.
It's a different shape. Nice. Did he just shoot lefty? Yeah. It's a different shape.
Nice.
Did he just shoot lefty?
Yeah, there's other guys on the team.
But that was LeBron, I assume.
Is LeBron wearing his jersey going down the road?
Is that Wood Harris?
What is up these?
Is it supposed to be like fantasy?
Him in high school.
They're all coming together, his lifelong friends and stuff.
Wait, he is shooting lefty.
That's not LeBron.
That's LeBron.
Why are they showing highlights of LeBron can't shoot?
That's him?
No.
It was a perfect plane.
Yeah, and I caught it.
You destroyed it.
You wouldn't have made it on D-Day, brother.
They destroyed a lot of planes that day.
Wait, go back.
I want to see the initial.
We're not on boats, you fool.
Is this not LeBron in the gym and he shoots lefty?
That's LeBron, right?
I don't think that's LeBron.
No, that's not.
That cannot be.
That's LeBron on the right.
That was good.
But that's not him.
It's probably just a picture of.
That's not him.
That's him. The guy that passed that ball was the guy that's not him. It's probably just a picture of him. That's not him. That's him.
The guy that passed that ball was the guy that shoots lefty.
It's a bad sign for this movie if you can't tell which one is supposed to be the best.
They'd probably call him LeBron.
What hair is so sneaky?
Watch out.
Watch out.
Maybe you see some new faces.
This is Mr. Travis.
What if they sensationalize it and he's just getting in shootouts and shit?
I don't think LeBron got bullied in high school.
You better watch the fuck out.
The little tiny boy, he was my inspiration.
Maverick Carter?
The real short one that would shoot threes.
That kind of looks like LeBron.
Why didn't they just have Bronny Jr. play LeBron?
That would have made a lot of sense.
He's probably not a good actor.
Come on, dude.
You know he can act.
FaZe Clan?
He's fucking FaZe Clan.
Of course he can act.
He's trash.
By the way, this bag right here, we're doing a golden mug today for Stella Blue.
So, giveaway.
Five golden mugs being sent out.
If you buy anything on Stella Blue Coffee today, comes with the bag, a new driver.
What are these called?
Stealth.
Stealth.
The Stealth driver and a Clubhead.
Yeah, TaylorMade Stealth.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Can I do a personal ad, too.
Sure.
What's a personal?
A little.
Barstools.
It's a barstool company.
I won't do my personal ad.
Do your personal ad.
I'd like to hear the personal ad.
Plug your personal.
No, let's make sure your agent gets paid.
Who the hell?
Is that my phone or your phone?
Yours.
Yeah, it's the team.
They're hitting me up.
Do another ad.
Flash the ad now.
Now, now.
Now's the perfect time.
Monica.
Pathetic.
Oh.
Pathetic.
You're pathetic.
You're pathetic.
I'm a shop shooter.
What do you guys think about this live tour shit?
It's fucking crazy.
Crazy.
Live golfers are the smartest people on the planet.
So rich.
And then they got paid.
I gotta talk to an expert because I obviously am not.
if you're a PGA Tour guy, you're mad
right now, but aren't you
happy overall because you're just going to make more money
now? And you're still so rich
that you're going to be like, who?
Right, but that has passed passed and you stood your ground right stood your ground on the moral
high ground and the pga tour went behind your back and and got rid of the more greed right now
you're pissed it's pretty crazy the day you get to be like i stood my ground and you're gonna get
more money yeah you're gonna get more money but you were like somebody that was the face of there's
a few guys who have an extra but i'm saying like the average PGA Tour golfer probably can be like.
I don't think the average PGA Tour golfer was ever really affected as much anyway.
But I think they'll get guaranteed money now.
Yeah.
This will help.
Yeah, they'll get more money.
It just seems like it's impossible to like maintain your like clean morality no matter what you do.
Like these guys stayed at the pga intentionally to try and
keep a clean conscience and the pga is just like no we're gonna work with them anyway and it's like
no matter what you do like you assess like how you live your lifestyle like the fucking nikes you
are probably made by like this or like the fucking clothes you wear were probably unsustainably like
made or like the food you make was like or the food you eat is like probably unsustainably made, or the food you eat is probably unsustainably farmed.
It's impossible to have your own morality.
I would have been first wave going over to get that Saudi money
because I would have been on that for sure.
You're taking dirty money regardless.
Take the dirty money up front.
It's money.
All money is dirty.
And they spent two years telling us Phil Mickelson was an asshole,
and now he's just –
That's right.
They're going to celebrate him again.
Yeah.
Phil was right.
Jay Moynihan is –
Monahan.
Monahan is the biggest asshole.
But I –
See the guy from the PGA?
He's the one that –
Maybe I just think of it like –
I try to think of, like, the win and shit.
And, like, if you're just a regular PGA golfer,
you're pissed right now,
and you have a right to be pissed.
You will get more money from this.
Do you think eventually Barstool will merge with the Sit Down podcast
and that'll come back in?
Listen, if the Saudis want to buy Barstool for the Sit Down,
maybe that's the deal he had.
With the Saudis?
Maybe.
They get along with Amish?
I don't think they...
They probably aren't really.
They might not know about each other.
They might not have a teeth on the Amish.
But they're both orthodox.
So, like, there could be similar beliefs.
I was Googling around today.
The Saudis own, like, a ton of our water.
Yeah.
They own everything.
They own, like, 150,000 acres of canals.
I'm pretty sure they own...
They own highways and transportation systems here and then
they own all the parking meters in chicago shut up yeah i heard that yeah chicago sold
all the parking meters uh richard daly the old mayor uh sold all the parking meters and i think
maybe o'hare too to the saudis but so my i'm China, I'm putting on my tinfoil hat, China owns like 250,000 acres of American farmland.
Why aren't we, what are we, where are we buying?
I know that 9-11 was bad.
Were the people who, were the people who have, who are in charge of all this, were they linked to 9-11?
Or are they just both Saudi Arabian?
I don't know.
We should probably have someone who knows.
I'm more of a World War II guy.
Right.
I think so, but I get what your
question is. No, I don't know.
I don't even know what you're asking.
I don't know.
Who funded 9-11?
Are those guys still walking around
buying the PGA Tour?
Is it a similar pile of cash
that they're pulling all this shit from?
I don't think.
And so is it then everyone, is it a Jamal Khashoggi?
Are they the same people that did that?
The same people?
Those are, yes.
That's the same guy.
The same people who killed this guy.
Yes.
I'm not participating in this.
I'm just saying.
In case they ever buy Barstool or buy the Walker family, I respect that.
You want to be for sale at the...
I'll take whatever they want to pay me for whatever.
It's just funny to be like, the Saudis are doing this, the Saudis are doing this.
It just makes you sound like if anyone's like, yeah, the Chinese are doing all this shit.
That's me right now.
They're buying all our farmland.
Everybody start freaking out.
No, I don't out no i don't
know um i don't understand any of it did you randomly host the show again like you did earlier
well i was trying to make a joke and then as soon as she left i was gonna talk shit but i but it
fell apart because i got roasted you got five you only talk in five second spurts. I know. You got to get it out fast. I do. I do.
Go ahead.
Them Saudis.
Could they buy,
if they wanted to,
could they buy the MLB?
Oh.
They'd be like,
this is ours now.
We'd like to buy it.
I feel like maybe.
Not the whole MLB?
That seems like
an expensive thing.
I guess maybe not.
They have so much money.
But you don't buy the league.
You buy teams.
Yeah, they bought EPL teams.
They just tried to buy the Formula One.
They did.
They tried to.
Didn't they just buy Newcastle?
They bought Newcastle.
Yeah.
Formula One's like UFC where it's like a league where everything happens.
That's why golf was susceptible because you could buy individual –
it's individual players that don't have contracts to teams.
You can't buy the Dallas Cowboys players because they're all contracted.
If darts is next.
You think Tiger Woods is pissed that he turned down a billion dollars?
I don't think he –
He has to be.
He would have to be pissed if you turned down a billion dollars.
I guess it's a question of like – and I'm not the moral police here, but like a guy like Tiger kept his legacy intact where he didn't jump at the first second.
Well, one of his legacies.
And he is going to make more money now.
That's kind of my point.
One of his legacies.
One of his legacies.
He took shots at his legacy.
It's kind of like how much do you value like your long-term legacy is the question.
Not at all. Probably not
100 million. I don't know.
And what kind of things play into it?
Right. Like is it going to be a line in your
obituary? Like I think Rory
he
stopped talking about the live the last
couple of months. I feel like he got a deal.
He got
to play both sides where he was like
face of like morality
and then he also gets the money
there were reports today that he didn't know this announcement
was coming he didn't know this was happening
most of them didn't know but Rory's the one
guy who was like the face of it and he
had a very
distinct change in tone the last couple
of months again this is
all me guessing I have no
fucking idea I'm just spitting takes
It's probably all wrong
It's fun to do
You sound right
Oh by the way Josh Allen did hit me back
He said he could throw a javelin
95 meters
I think that puts him right
That means he has the world record
So there's that debate
Is he guessing?
Is he guessing? Has, he said 95 meters.
Is he guessing?
No, he said I could throw it 95 meters.
Okay.
Has he ever thrown one 95 meters?
I'll say yes.
You don't know?
No, but I'm going to take his word for it.
95 meters.
Dude, this one, this one sucks.
That's yours.
No, mine was perfect, symmetrical.
Also, Phil Hughes might be a Yak listener.
Remember Yankee pitcher?
The right-hander from Yan pitcher? He texted me and was like
Any pitcher could throw a javelin very far
Well then why the fuck don't they?
Because they don't make any money
Go throw the javelin
Go to Tokyo, Barcelona
Saudi Arabia should buy javelin
Yeah
The Javtor
They put all the political dissidents in a field.
Yeah.
Oh.
Like Apocalypto.
Drain down Javelin on them.
That was Jav talk for the day.
Yeah.
Waited a while today.
Josh Allen hit me up and said,
I could not even come close to throwing a 95,
but I'm going to tell Big Cat I could throw a 95.
Shit.
I got caught?
You got caught.
That's just me and Josh, though.
We fuck around like that.
That's why they call him Josh.
Constantly scheming.
Fuck.
He's a scheme demon.
That hurts.
He's an absolute scheme devil, I'm sure.
That really hurts.
You think you know a guy?
Run it all my life.
Do you think Jersey Jerry has a lawsuit on his hands
for not getting all the furniture from his?
He's 100% serious, by the way.
I thought he knew it.
Yes, he is.
I thought he knew it was furnished.
The way he was talking to me via text and Dave,
it seemed like he was flabbergasted.
You think the cars in the garage
weren't going to be his?
Probably. Are they going to leave the dentist chairs
at least? Hopefully.
I can't believe how he talked about his cousin in that one video.
Which one? The one who
goes into Home Depot
and
intentionally damages shit and then
buys it.
What?
He showed the whole thing, including his face. He bangs the boards on the floor and stuff and gets a 50% discount on the register. He intentionally damages shit and then buys it. What? You didn't see that one?
He showed the whole thing, including his face.
He hangs the boards on the floor and stuff and gets a 50% discount on the register.
No, no.
What I'm saying is I could always get this piece can go over.
See the groove?
Yeah.
I could put this over.
I went to buy sheetrock and started damaging it to the point where it's still usable to get 50% off.
I'm not.
I'm not putting up.
I just wanted to show the world that you're a bubblegum worker.
That's all.
Me?
I'm a bubblegum worker.
Yeah, bubblegum worker.
Bubblegum worker.
Bubblegum worker.
I'm sorry, Jersey Jerry.
Sorry, pal.
Why don't you go to Walmart?
Wait, so that's got to be like a big dance.
What was he doing?
He was banging boards.
There's Jerry.
He'll say anything.
Remember on the advisors, he was like, yeah, my cousin is fucking Zach Wilson.
He just said it.
That's probably Joe Rogan's dad.
I know.
It looked like it.
You don't want to have to open up.
I'm bubble gum.
I'm bubble gum.
I'm a bubble gum worker. Joey, we don't want to have to open up. I'm bubble gum. I'm bubble gum. I'm a bubble gum worker.
Joey, we don't want to have to open up Pandora's box.
Why don't you go to Walmart?
Okay.
Jerk off.
By the way, we're sponsored by Shady Rays.
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This is your ad.
I don't have it.
You have a million fucking pieces of paper at your feet.
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Give it to us, Sass.
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Ah, I can't.
I don't have it right now.
Why?
What's going on, buddy?
Bad headache.
Why don't you drink that Red Bull?
I did.
Oh, okay, good.
It's because it's D-Day.
Yeah, sorry. Sometimes the lights in here fuck with my eyes. It's because it's D-Day. Yeah, sorry.
Sometimes the lights in here fuck with my eyes.
It's also warm in here today.
Did I ever get you guys?
It is a little warm in here.
It's so goddamn bright.
You want me to turn it down?
You not ready for them?
Nah, it's fine.
Turn the lights down.
Survive.
You not ready for the bright lights, son?
I feel a little more comfortable in here.
Yeah.
Ooh.
That's not good.
Oh!
So much better.
I was rolling always in a spotlight.
Look at that. Look at this's not. Oh. So much. I was wrong. Always in the spotlight. Look at that.
Halo.
Wait, so KB, what is the conclusion to this Everest drama?
It seems like.
I think he just has a bunch of people who are against him now.
It feels like he's kind of like Zuckerberg doing the like, now he's making more attention to it.
I don't know.
I don't know if he's all that big.
He has like 3,000 followers, but all of his comments are...
I'm sorry, it seems like an all-time dick reaction, though.
Yeah, a guy saved your life?
But his career is over.
I can't imagine if you're an Everest tour guide and you almost die at the top of the mountain.
I don't want to pay that guy.
But his name is Everest.
I could have very easily gotten the story wrong.
I just read a headline.
No, I think I read that, too. There was four big... up with that guy. But his name is Everest. I could have very easily gotten the story wrong. I just read like a headline. No, I think I read that too.
There was four big –
Did you see the headline?
There was that story.
Did you see the guy stuck in the crevasse that they were digging out this past week?
What?
No.
Leaving there.
Is there a video of it?
Always leaving there.
Yes, there's video.
Everest, hiker, crevasse.
Like he fell down in one of those things.
And so another – two other guys had to like – there was like this much space had to go down and dig him out.
And it's just his head and arms sticking out.
And it's like I see.
That's a whole new economy ever saving people.
And another guy, I think he might have.
But it was like that mascot coming down totally limp and the thing from the helicopter.
That was.
And then there was.
I don't know what Rocky the I'm following our nuggets.
Nuggets mascot.
Yeah, it was like a nuggets mascot situation. Never seengets mascot. It was like a Nuggets mascot situation.
You ever seen that clip, Sass?
It's the funniest clip ever. The Nuggets
mascot passed out in his
suit when he was getting lowered from
the roof.
He's like limp coming down.
Find that DJ. I was wondering if that was
who you were talking about at first.
If that was the guy getting lowered down at the end.
And then the last one was that some group of the hikers up there left the craziest trash pile you've ever seen.
I saw that.
And I don't know.
It's bad.
Something bad is going to happen.
All right, Kate.
Those were good stories.
Thank you.
Ever sweet.
That's for my five seconds on Ever Sweet.
I think when they see people died, it motivates them more to accomplish.
Oh.
Because the danger factor goes back up. Yeah. Because the danger factor
goes back up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're like,
this killed other men.
I'm a better man
than that person.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think I would just
stop right there and die.
We know we had
an Everest guy on.
He said he couldn't do it.
Did he die with him?
Yeah, but y'all,
do y'all tell him outside?
You guys gotta learn
Spanish with me.
Who wants to learn
Spanish with me?
Oh, yeah.
How's that going?
It's kind of fun.
Yeah?
Can you say something fun now?
No, I'm not even going to try to speak.
Por favor, manténganse alejados de las puertas.
That was pretty good.
Look at Sass.
Yeah, this is kind of what the video is like.
Oh, my God.
It was someone getting passed out in the suit.
But it was someone getting left out.
Did they show him touching the ground?
He's passed out in the suit.
He's just fucking done.
Dude.
It's such a funny clip.
He was okay?
Yeah, he was okay. He must have thought he died.
Right?
I like how they just kept filming from multiple angles.
Sorry, cut to five.
Cheerleaders kept doing their routine.
It's a legend for that.
I pan in.
Damn.
I don't think I'm going to do Everest.
What?
I don't think I'm doing it.
I'm going to do it.
You could do it.
Probably in like ten years I'll do it.
You could do it.
A lot of people reached out to tell me I couldn't.
Why?
Why would someone reach out?
People reached out.
They went out of their way to tell me I couldn't.
Mike Posner did.
Mike Posner did Everest?
He reached out.
Mike Posner had a baby snake take him down.
Yeah, in Colorado.
That sucked for him so bad.
I don't understand the walking across.
And no one cared until he almost died.
That would be horrible.
What did he walk across?
He tried to walk across America.
What did you do if you had to do one or the other?
He did, didn't he?
What?
Everest or walk across America.
That's like a dream of mine.
Definitely Everest, but I think it actually takes similar...
I saw some videos of some dudes doing that right now,
or he did it, and it took him four months,
but he went from Canada to Mexico.
Takes similar time?
That was like four months.
I'm just thinking of Kansas alone.
Yeah, it's probably pretty boring.
There's certain trails that I'm sure are scenic the entire way.
I came across it before.
You gotta go through...
I had a teacher who did that.
Really?
How long would that take?
I think that took him a while, but not obviously.
Probably like a month.
Probably like two months.
If you do 100 miles a day.
I did a walk from.
Can the body take 100 miles a day?
You just go downhill.
There's a dude that's actually walking right now across all of Africa.
I saw that guy.
He's pissing blood.
From south to north. He's piss that guy. He's pissing blood from south to north.
Pissing blood?
He's pissing blood.
And he's like, sometimes you just got to push your limits.
It's like, dude, you're going to die.
He hasn't even left South Africa, I don't think.
What?
South Africa?
Yeah.
Last time I checked, he hadn't left South Africa.
Oh, he's going up?
Yeah, he's going up.
You've got to go downhill.
You've got to go down. That's silly. That's dumb. Some of those countries he's going to go through, man. He's got to go downhill. He's got to go down.
That's silly.
That's dumb. Some of those countries he's got to go through, man.
They're going to kill him.
Who is this dude?
Is he African?
Can we pull it up?
Billy Tweed.
I think Billy Tweed.
Ew.
Really walk through the borders?
You can't even drive up the coast of Africa.
Oh, it's a British dude?
I think it's a British ginger.
Yeah, do they?
Yeah, I think he's English.
He'll be dead by next week.
But he's been pissing blood.
He should have gone to the doctor by now.
I wonder if he updated it.
I'm sure that, you know.
No, because he said he was going to go the next day.
England doesn't have any history with Africa.
Maybe ginger piss is just red.
No, it was piss and blood.
It was actually gross.
Yeah.
Huh.
But he tried to make it like a motivating thing.
Yeah, look at him.
Oh, dude.
Game is the game.
What?
Failing the mission.
The game is winning.
Level one.
I mean, his kidneys are probably failing.
That's a lot of blood.
A Walmart parking lot.
I guess you got to do it if you're the first ever.
Like, there's not many first evers, right?
Left?
It's probably been done.
You know what's ever been done?
All of Africa?
Nah.
I don't know.
Magellan's ass didn't do it.
There can't be many first-evers in a while.
I mean, I'm sure someone's done it in their lifetime.
There's a documentary about the guys that ran from the east to the west of Africa,
and there was three dudes doing it together,
and one guy pretended to be hurt and was just like,
I'm just going to walk ahead, and then he ran and left the other two dudes.
No way.
They were so pissed.
He just wanted to finish first on his own.
Absolute asshole.
Am I wrong in saying that pissing blood is almost never minor?
I've done it before.
You piss blood?
When?
I thought pissing blood was like, that was it.
Yeah.
Like you started pissing blood and you're like, yeah, something's horribly wrong.
Yeah, it seems pretty bad.
Because those, I feel like, should never, those wires should never cross.
Same with piss.
Yeah, those pipes run parallel.
I had a kidney stone once.
That wasn't, I did not piss blood.
I want to correct.
I took two, I overdosed on vitamin C.
Yeah.
And was pissing like neon yellow.
Kidney stones are the most intimidating normal thing that happens to people.
They're so painful.
And I hope this guy doesn't die because I would feel bad about making fun of him.
Rihanna Chicken Fry said he's got like five kidney stones.
He's going through it.
That's when you're dead, bro.
I think Large gets them like every month.
He's got gout.
Oh, yeah, he's got gout, Which is kind of a badass thing to have.
It is literally the rich disease.
He has had too much pork.
Yeah, too much red meat and wine.
Too much red meat, yeah.
Like all the kings of England used to get it.
The hemophiliacs and incestuous bastards.
How do you get kidney stones?
Just from eating like like, shit?
No, I think it can just happen.
Oh, diet soda causes kidney stones.
Isn't it iron?
Yeah.
Is it iron?
Mine was specifically because I, like, had too much vitamin C.
Yeah, that makes sense.
I was trying to beat COVID.
Yeah.
With vitamins.
Heard about that one.
Because that's, like, even with, like, gummy vitamins, you're not supposed to take.
Yeah, I overdosed. Yeah. I that one. Because that's like, even with like gummy vitamins, you're not supposed to take. I overdosed.
Yeah.
I OD'd.
I did.
You weren't getting COVID, so I mean.
I can't remember what.
It was something.
We were doing something.
It was like a crazy stretch at barstool where I had to do a shitload of work.
And I was like, I cannot get sick.
And I was just chugging.
What's the fucking?
Airborne.
Airborne.
And it was bad.
Can they be so big that your doctor's like,
we have to do surgery?
Or like, no, it'll make its way out no matter how...
They shoot it with lasers.
Yeah.
Lasers.
Busted up.
I didn't have to do that.
I pissed mine out.
I don't think mine was like that severe
because it was self-inflicted.
What's the biggest one?
Yeah, I felt it come out.
Because they're jagged.
Have you ever seen them under a microscope?
They're like rocks.
It was like a rock.
I pissed out a rock.
I was in pain for like two days
where I felt like I had to piss at all times
and like my dick hurt.
Yeah, it was literally like that.
I was like, oh shit, that might have been it.
That's relief.
Oh, it felt so good.
Damn.
Yeah. I got to get one. It, that might have been it. Like the biggest relief? Oh, it felt so good. Damn. Yeah.
I got to get one.
It does.
It is worth it for that alone.
A sweet, sweet release.
Pass it.
It's an odd body part to hurt, though.
My dick hurts.
Yeah, no, my dick hurt a lot.
What if that was like pearls and people wanted to collect them and put them into jewelry?
Yeah.
So then I started taking, so when I, I never went to the doctor.
I probably should have.
I started taking cranberry pills.
How did you know you had one?
Because I knew once I pissed it out.
Yeah, yeah.
Makes sense.
So I started taking cranberry pills to try to like get my piss going.
And then my piss was literally like neon yellow between the vitamin C and the cranberry.
Jesus Christ, dude.
It was nuts.
I'm dreading it.
You have one?
No, like the possibility of getting it.
Yeah.
I just hope I'm fluent in Spanish by that time.
So what are you taking?
Rosetta Stone?
You're doing Duolingo, right?
Duolingo.
And how would you say it's going?
One class is all it takes.
We find like a first, like a introductory Spanish.
I'm still, I'm on unit four.
We find an introductory Spanish test.
Like the.
L?
Still learning the very best.
Best way to do it is to speak colloquially, brother.
I know.
You got to get in with.
Have you done your ustedes?
Nosotros. Nosotros.
Nosotros.
Not even that.
Soy.
Soy.
Starting from the B.
Me amo.
Me gusta.
Oh, my God.
Your accent's perfect, Seth.
Me gusta.
I feel like I'm back in New York.
Me gusta.
You too.
Wait over here, Albano.
Donde esta la biblioteca?
Tambien.
All the stuff. Do you know Tambala biblioteca. Tambien. All the stuff.
Do you know Tambien?
Tambien?
Yeah.
Isn't that like in YouTube?
Yeah.
E2.
Fuck.
Tambien.
I'm still on like the girl.
How do you say that?
La niña.
Niña?
Yeah.
You know who's great to practice with?
Mi profesora.
She does some of the cleaning around the office.
That's my goal, yeah.
I practice with her all the time.
And she'll just tell me different names of fruits.
She said, I thought banana.
I thought it was banana.
It is.
Banano, she said.
Banano?
She said banano.
That's bullshit.
Oranjo?
Zana?
Orange.
That's orange.
Oranjo. Zana's an apple That's orange. Yeah, Oranjo.
Zana's an apple.
I don't think I'm going to ever.
Yeah, I might give up.
No, no, no.
You just got to get a job in the kitchen.
That's what helped me.
That's how I learned Jamaican.
Seth, you're on one today.
No, I'm about as on.
Learned in the kitchen.
What'd you do last night?
Too much games?
No, I just like.
Here's little Sasquatch.
I just like, I don't know, I'm just tired.
He's a little iry boy.
Little tirey boy.
Jamaicans in the restaurants were crazy.
They are homophobic.
I have never seen.
I worked at diners in high school, and it was a lot of Middle Eastern.
Also similar vibe.
Homophobic.
I was so goddamn bad at that job.
What was it?
I was a busboy.
I didn't know this.
Where?
Massachusetts. What restaurant? It was called theboy. I didn't know this. Where? Massachusetts.
What restaurant?
It was called the Windsor House, but it closed.
What were some of your
experiences? I did.
Did you get bullied? Oh yeah, they hated
me. How were you bad at being a busboy?
It was a big restaurant,
so there was like 200-something tables.
You'd be hustling at all times? They were like, bring this one to
83D, and you're like, I don't know where the fuck 83D is
so then you have to look at the map of where it is
and then you go out and you're like wait I forget where it is
you gotta go back and look at the map
explain a mistake that you made at someone's table
an embarrassing mistake that you made
I feel like I've told this story before
but the biggest one I made was there was a party of like
16 that came in
and
they brought out the
I was in the kitchen and someone brought out the, like, it was in the kitchen
and someone brought out the fish tacos and they put them under, like,
the hot lamp thing. Yeah. And I looked
at the receipt and I said, oh, shit,
the fish tacos. I'm gonna bring these out.
Brought them out. Apparently I brought
them out, like, an hour before everyone else's food was
ready or, like, 30 minutes before.
So.
That doesn't seem like that bad of a mistake.
But it was a massive party and one person had their food 30 minutes before everyone else.
Did they eat it?
I don't know.
They just came back and everyone started yelling at me asking who brought the fish tacos.
And I was like, I have no idea.
And then they found out it was me.
And I was hiding in the dish pit.
And then the chef brought me up to the manager's office, and we all had to sit down.
Dude, the inner workings of those big diner restaurants are like,
it's their own fucking, there's so much drama,
and there's so much, it's like so incestuous. It was crazy.
What does that mean?
Like, everyone's fucking everyone.
Oh, they're fucking, yeah, but no.
Everyone, it's like,
Hotly, though.
Like, certain people
like helping pluck
for the best shifts
and the best spots
and the best whatever
and the grossest dudes
are fucking
I know
and it's kind of
a fun life
it seems like
I think it's fun
if you're good at it
like a pirate ship
love that
if you know what
you're doing
it's like
you become friends
I'm in the weeds
right now
you probably get so
horny after a hectic shift we'd all smoke out back and then you become friends with them. I'm in the weeds right now. You probably get so horny after a hectic shift.
We'd all smoke out back and then you become friends.
You all start hanging out because you work such weird hours too that you all start hanging out together.
You get hooked on Percocets and Xanax.
They all do with pills.
Yeah, that's the best.
They demoted me after that.
They just brought me downstairs because it was like a seafood place and I had to crush ice constantly for always have a machine that
literally crush really i would just load up this thing with ice all day and it was way better i
just sat in the basement way better i remember the guy who owned this diner refused to buy more
glassware it was like a 50s diner and they did fancy dessert so a lot of all the little like
softball and t-ball stadiums where all the parks are like right there and so after the games they
bring entire little kid teams in and they'd all order like milkshakes and sundaes and whatever and because
there wasn't any extra glassware all the stuff was always just coming out of the washer which
they're like so hot you can barely touch them and so we'd be making sundaes in these boiling hot
glasses and sending out melts right away and it was but he refused to fix it and he'd be like you
deal with them you deal with them.
And it's like these
furious parents with their kids just full of
melty whatever.
I like a little melt on my Sunday.
I was a caterer in college.
That sucked.
That sucks.
Just having to walk around with food.
What type of events?
On campus?
Yeah, they opened a new symphony hall, like theater, and all my friends had jobs.
Would you rather people talk to you when you met them, or would you rather them—
Just take it.
Just take it and leave me the fuck alone.
Just take it and go.
And the faster you can get your plate cleaned, the faster you can go back and then kind of—
Loaf.
Loaf for a little bit and then get a new plate.
Yeah, I should have just
worked in retail. I think that was more my
speed. That's bad, too.
Restaurant life was not for me.
Retail sounds like the worst option.
Retail's the worst.
Maybe just like a stocking shit.
Yeah, like Abercrombie & Fitch.
I worked on an airline counter.
I worked in multiple restaurants and I was terrible and all.
I got fired from one.
I quit one, like, unexpectedly.
I quit.
You didn't.
What does that mean?
Like, I quit.
You quit unexpectedly.
Like, I quit.
I just quit.
I quit.
Did I do that?
No, I got.
That's actually kind of what Nadoo did.
I called, and I quit randomly, and then they were like, it was like Christmas Eve.
I think I quit because they wanted me to work on Christmas Eve.
And I was like, yeah, it's getting too busy.
I can't work here anymore.
Take me off the schedule.
What a great feeling, though.
And they were like, you're still coming in tonight, though, right?
And I was like, yeah, definitely.
And I just never left.
I worked at a call center.
And I quit that mid-shift.
Which walked out.
Yeah, they gave me the paycheck after. I just had to get enough paychecks to pay rent.
I did that, too, at a call center.
It was awesome.
I put my phone down and just got up and walked out.
We took a break, and I just never came back.
It was fucking great.
Out of fantasies.
Yeah.
I got my last paycheck, and I was like, well, that's it for me.
Not a lot of people do that, though.
Yeah.
It's a brutal job because that's it for me. A lot of people do that, though. Yeah. It's a brutal job because it was like fundraising for the university and you had to call people at dinnertime.
Oh, that's the worst.
Yeah.
I was walking people through gateway computer problems.
So for the calls, what percentage of people are even like semi-respectful to you?
Like, so we would do, you had to do a certain amount of calls every hour i think it was like 20 or
something and it was probably one out of 20 would even consider like donating and then maybe two
others would be nice and then everyone else would be like fuck what was the average like they just
like don't call me back yeah stop calling me during yeah that's so funny yeah brutal that's
every time they get me every time yeah you had to call out during dinner.
That's the worst time.
The shifts were like 5 to 7 p.m.
I mean, people must have just,
it must have been almost every call
they would just hang up.
Yeah, no, people would just piss.
Yeah.
And you'd get like an old person
who'd be like, oh, I'll think about that.
Where's my purse?
Gotta close the deal.
And it was also.
You come over.
Shittier the job.
I don't know if this is your guys' experience.
Shittier the job.
The like lamer they make it in the office to try to make it fun.
Yeah.
There'd be like competitions on who could get the most donations and then like prizes
and shit.
And you'd just be like, fucking kill me.
But it was never what you wanted, which was just money.
Yeah, right.
And I was right like here's
yeah coupon to kohl's right exactly oh my god was it brutal i worked at a i worked at a pizza place
for a while and i got fired from there but uh right before i got fired we got a new owner a
new dude bought it and he was he wanted to be able to make pizza so bad but he couldn't like
he just could not do the dough it's hard no idea how to do it and he would to be able to make pizza so bad, but he just could not do the dough.
It's hard.
No idea how to do it.
And he would show up randomly, like,
let me do a couple pizzas.
And then when he wasn't looking,
we'd have to throw them away and make new pizzas.
The owner?
They would come out, and they'd be like triangles.
It's like a tiny dot of sauce in them.
We'd just have to toss them and not tell them.
What was your worst
job steven you love jamba juice uh yes i loved plants through the yeah there was a job i had
uh it was for some finance company and it was calling people to attend like a financial seminar
it was in college it was brutal that was one where i walked away
mid shift as well yeah or like when i should for something i'm not coming back my most memorable
time that job was i called a wnba player i was like hey what yeah wanna wanna come out for this
financial seminar i don't remember but did anyone ever say yes yes yeah i got quite a few people
really really yeah i was pretty good at it i can't imagine someone calling me like hey want to come Did anyone ever say yes? Yes. Yeah. Got quite a few people. Really?
Yeah.
I was pretty good at it.
I can't imagine someone calling me like, hey, want to come to this financial seminar?
You'd be surprised.
You can get some people on the phone who just don't have friends or family to talk to them.
Yeah.
You get that where you'd talk to an old person who just wants to talk.
I'm like, where's the money going to?
Talk me through all the programs.
Yeah.
Yeah, that sucks.
At one time, I was an absolute monster at this
job called a connector. I worked in like a...
You mean you were a monster.
Like a... What's that
Wall Street movie with the financial
firms? Wall Street. No, no, no.
Anus Megalomaniac? Boiler Room.
Yeah. It was a place like that.
That kind of rules.
Pinstripe shirts, look back here.
I was not like Series 7 or 63 or whatever it was certified.
But there were a ton of leads for people to call and talk like actual financial details to get them to invest with them.
So what I would do is I would pound the phones.
And when I got someone on the phone, I'd be like, hey, is this the person?
And I'd try and change my voice
a little bit and then pass it to a certified
person to do it. You literally were boiler room.
Yeah, I was a monster at that.
You were good at it?
Very good. How? Be an example.
Show us how you would change your voice.
Well, it depends on what the guy was working on.
If I was working with Barry, I'd have a certain voice.
If I was working with Brian, I'd have a different voice. What was Barry's voice?
Jeez, this was a really long time ago.
Pretend you're handing the phone to Big Cat.
Big Cat is the guy, and you're like...
Sure, so you get the stack of index card leads,
and you'd be like, all right.
And you call him.
All right, is Jason home?
Okay.
Jason, get online.
Hey, Jason, what's up?
This is whoever.
This is Dan from Barstool Sports.
Want to talk to you a quick minute about whatever the investment was.
How are you doing in the market?
Let's make up a fake investment and call Mintzy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sell them Obistics.
That would work, yeah.
Sell them what?
Obistics.
Should we do another watch company?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Call from Rolex.
Yeah.
Like, hi, this is Ron from Rolex.
We're like Timex.
We've seen your work.
And yeah.
And we'd like to talk to you about a future here at Rolex.
Do it.
We want to put this guy on a live mic again?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Just be ready to dump it.
Who's talking?
Let me hear your voice.
Don't call yet.
Don't call yet.
What's your impersonation voice?
Ron from Rolex.
Ron from Rolex.
What's our best-selling watch?
Submariner.
The Rose Gold.
The Presidential.
The Presidential Rose Gold 1029.
Ooh-wee.
Presidential Rose Gold 1029.
And my name is what?
Ron.
Do your name.
Do your voice.
We've got to hear your voice.
It's different for every person, so I've got to make up in my mind.
You won't know it until you get in there, huh?
Yeah.
All right, try to call Mincy.
See if you can poach him.
How are we going to?
What number are we using?
I think TJ's going to call him.
He's going to know it's the radio number.
Fuck.
Oh, yeah.
We don't have another.
There's like three numbers.
I'm sure he's going to know.
All from your cell phone.
I don't think he has mine.
Very good.
Roan, you call him from a blocked.
Block your phone and call him.
Maybe you.
He does not have mine.
Roan can block my phone, but I want to hear Stephen Chay do this.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, all right. Then you block your phone, Stephen, and call him. How do I block my phone? Use have my phone. I can block my phone, but I want to hear Stephen Chay do this. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, all right.
Then you block your phone, Stephen, and call him.
How do I block my phone?
Dude, use Kate's phone.
R67.
Does that still work?
Or does he not have?
He does not have my, I don't know.
All right, all right.
Give him your phone.
I'll go get it.
Okay.
I bet he does.
Can we spin the wheel real quick, TJ?
You bet he does.
I don't know.
I don't think he does.
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Let's go.
Spin it.
If it lands on Omaha, three people get Omaha.
Three people here or three listeners?
Here.
Three people here.
Let's go.
Hell yeah.
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Estamos en Caballeros.
El Yak.
It's getting thinner.
I want to spin it again, dude.
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Are you ready, Steven?
Rehearse your lines.
Maybe you're from a regional HQ.
Say it.
Just say it.
A lot of numbers.
Got it.
Got it, Steven.
All right. And that's hand signals.
Do you think you could pull up a picture of someone's face and face ID it?
That would work.
Probably not.
Probably not.
You should.
Is Rolex.
Where's Rolex?
Is Rolex.
Okay, you're a Philadelphia area code.
Yeah.
All right.
So I'm going to say I'm from the Philly branch.
Philly branch and trying to hire him.
Seeing what you've done with Brick.
Ron Cardone is going to be my name.
You're based in Switzerland.
No, this is a Philadelphia area code.
Yeah, he's from the Philly branch.
You're Philly branch.
Wait, is Rolex headquartered in New York?
No, Switzerland.
So tell him we'll fly him out to Switzerland for training.
Voot, voot.
And Vince? What are some other watches?
The Rose Gold Presidential 1029.
What's another one?
Batman. Batman Rollie. That's what Francis has.
Batman? Continental.
Yeah, say Continental.
Memorial. The Memorial.
Alright.
Alright, so I call him on this and put it on speaker? Give us the voice. Nah, spread them on the memorial. The memorial. All right. All right, so I call him on this and put it on speaker?
Yeah.
Give us the voice.
No, it's for a moment, man.
All right, here we go.
He's getting damn good.
Yep, on speakerphone here.
Speakerphone.
Hello?
Hey, is this Benjamin?
Who's speaking?
This is Ron Cardone with Rolex.
I'm out of our Philadelphia branch.
We've seen some of the work you've been doing with them brick watches.
I'm going to be honest with you, man.
We got kind of an overflow with our presidential, like the Rose Gold 1029.
I don't know if you're familiar with that or the Batman.
I'll be honest.
I'm not too familiar.
This brick watch thing is a new, like I got hired for it.
I'm not familiar at all with watches.
It's kind of funny that I should know more.
But anyway, go ahead.
Continue speaking.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, so I should probably back up.
Are you familiar with our brand, Rolex?
I mean, of course I know a Rolex.
It's the gold standard of watches, and I have the utmost respect for what y'all do.
What? What. What?
What?
What?
No, it's you.
Mincy.
Mincy.
Oh, no.
Mincy, we're on the act.
Oh, Steve, it's a day.
I'm sorry.
I love you, too.
We love you. I'll see love you, too. We love you.
I'll see you later, buddy.
I have the utmost respect.
I have the utmost respect.
I have the utmost respect.
I love you.
No, no.
He told him it was him.
Oh, no.
He told him it was him.
Probably should have done that.
Oh.
Yeah, I'm familiar.
There's no better brand than Rolex.
Best brand there is.
No other brand that compares.
I have the utmost respect.
All right, go buy a brick watch.
Fuck Rolex.
Fuck them.
Fuck.
I love Rolex.
Rolex could never come up with a call like that.
Only Brick Watch could.
Buy a Brick Watch.
Code Mincy, 20% off.
Code Mincy, 20% off.
Here's what I'll say.
If you buy the more Brick Watches that are sold with code Mincy,
the more we will call Mincy with random job offerings on the app.
That's a fact.
Steven, good work.
We're not focusing on something.
Steven Che's voice was just Steven Che.
Steven, he was Southern.
He was Southern out of the Philadelphia offense.
I thought it was over.
It was your voice.
I thought that was a pitiful voice.
It was just you.
It was Texas Che.
It was Texas Che.
That was great.
Not changing it a bit.
It's just like you.
Really?
No, you didn't.
It was just you.
Ron Cardone.
You changed it.
Oh, you changed it.
Ron Cardone.
You changed it like two sentences in.
How are you Southern? Ron Cardone, Philadelphia branch. You changed it. Oh, you changed it. You said it like two sentences in. How are you Southern?
Ron Cardone, Philadelphia branch.
People can move.
Oh, that was unreal.
Oh, my God.
Was that your attempt at a Philly accent?
No, I was not trying to do a Philly accent.
I can't do a Philly accent.
I just like an Italian dude from Texas who moved to Philadelphia.
It's fucking sick.
But you had, I mean, you were the master of disguise.
You might as well have been in the movie
Face Off. You had a completely
different face and voice to Mincy. I changed it enough
just so he would not know that it was me. Right, and he
had no idea. As soon as he heard Rolex,
he didn't change it at all.
I feel bad. Mincy knows my voice.
I feel bad. No.
Listen, it's a good promotion
for Brick Watch. Everyone go buy a Brick Watch.
Save our Mincy. I mean, he folded fast.
Real fast.
He was like, I'm...
Real fast.
He was ready to leave it all behind.
He got ahead of himself.
He was like, well, let me go ahead and say what you were saying.
He was Southern Hospital.
He was taking a phone call.
Yeah.
He didn't do anything wrong.
Here, I'll tell him to...
We'll plug the promo code.
Gold standard.
I'm going to have him talk about.
Oh, my God.
He's so funny.
I love him so much.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
He threw his phone in the lake.
You think he's mad?
What's up, big cat?
Hey, Mincy, let's talk about Brick Watch.
Okay, let's talk about Brick Watch.
All right, tell me on the Brick Watch.
When you buy Brick Watch, you're making a statement
that you support Dave Portnoy and what he believes in.
Yes.
And that to me, and I think he's shown that with him having my back here and shows, you
know, he's a loyal guy and rides hard for his guys.
His watches are amazing.
I mean, we got like five different kinds.
They look good.
They look incredible.
Very sleek, very modern, you know, But you're not just buying a nice watch.
Oh.
You're buying into a brand and a culture.
It's a lot of good things in our society.
But, Mincy, I want to give to small businesses,
but I have a certain amount of money to buy a brick watch,
but then I won't be able to give to small businesses.
What do I do?
Yeah, so if you do, by buying a brick watch, you'll be-
You just-
Insincu?
It's going to do, there are going to be 40,000 to 50,000,
and 20% of the income, and not even just the income.
It's net, like, it's not net sales.
It's net just whatever's bought.
So it's, you know, if you buy buy a brick watch it's not like net profit
it's net sales got it literally literally it's just 20 off the top because we all know that
day portnoy as he's shown in the past the barstool fund uh loves to support small businesses it's in
his core and it's what he believes in it's what he's you know built from the ground with barstool
and now he's you know taking those talents to brick watch in a different different way and just going out doing good for a lot of people you know I love it is there a code
Mincy is there a code for me to buy well so no at checkout right now still for this week it's uh
20% off checkout and uh you know I asked if he needed to do like a Mincy code or anything he's
like just all the ones are going to you right now anyway since we hired you.
So, yeah.
What's your favorite design, Mincy?
I'm going to give you a state when you buy a brick watch that you care about small business
and bring it back.
And Mincy.
You care about Mincy.
Not just that you're buying a great watch, but you're also buying, I don't want to say
it's a lifestyle, but just a way of life, giving back and being good to others.
Yeah.
Love it. Well, thank you, Mincy. You way of life, like giving back and being good to others. Yeah. Love it.
Well, thank you, Mincy.
You still haven't hit me back about World Series of Poker.
Oh, okay.
Got it.
Got to get on.
Okay.
Yeah.
So far, I'm 0 for 2, so you haven't, you know, you saved a little money.
You're about to get hot.
You're about to get hot.
Oh, I believe it.
I've never had a roller coaster in the last two months, man.
I just hope I survive this year.
It's been so crazy.
All right.
We love you, Mincy.
Love you, too.
All right.
Bye.
Thank you.
What's that?
What was that?
He falled out of chute?
That was the only thing to explain that.
Woo-hoo!
Woo-hoo!
We got to call him tomorrow with a different company.
We're here with Apple Watch.
Poach him.
Just keep trying to poach him.
The gold standard, Apple Watch.
I got to run to an interview.
All right, no, no, we're good.
We're good.
See you guys tomorrow.
Yeah.
Yeah. You're really mad at me. It's time to talk shop and do a Yankees love. It's the act.
It's the act.