The Yak - The Newest Barstool Rivalry Is Born | The Yak 7-30-21

Episode Date: July 31, 2021

If you thought it ended at KB's lack of print you were DEAD wrongYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For mo...re, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Three-man show on the Yak It's the Yak Three man show on the Yak No cutting camera angles What you see is what you got You got 40 minutes out of me And then I'm going to the fucking lobby DJ, you wizard
Starting point is 00:00:37 So, everyone was anticipating Tommy Day Tommy Walker Day. No, no they weren't. We said we weren't doing it yesterday. Yeah, we decided not to do that. Tommy Walker Day will be next week because we need Dan for Tommy Walker Day. We feel like he'll buy all the shit.
Starting point is 00:00:56 Dad, why would I go on the Yak if you don't even want to be there yourself? It's a little high and mighty, Brandon. You know you don't genuinely's a little high and mighty, Brandon You know you don't genuinely enjoy the yak, Dad I like your childlike southern accent It's good It's good Today, on the day where we need it the most A prep sheet
Starting point is 00:01:18 Che's nowhere to be found Stephen Che failed This is the first time I can remember When Stephen Che was actually He's been out for things That you knew wasn't going to be here. The birth of his daughter. He just failed to, he didn't give us a prep sheet. Nothing.
Starting point is 00:01:33 It's not like him. It is unlike him. I'm kind of concerned. Chey. Oh, he very well could be dead now that I think about it. Yeah. He probably saw how far he could swim out into the ocean. He probably timed it based on that tread and water challenge.
Starting point is 00:01:45 How far did he make it? Probably timed it. He said, well, I know I have four minutes and 54 seconds, but he just missed. He just missed. Is he on vacation? He just missed. I'm calling Jay. I'm going to call.
Starting point is 00:01:57 Hey, we're on the yak right now. Okay, you're alive. Oh, we have nothing to talk about. You shouldn't be alive right now. I know. I thought that In full transparency I did think today was Saturday Wait, you want me to call him back
Starting point is 00:02:09 Real quick So he can hear me He thought today was Saturday In a what? Oh, we can actually In full transparency We can actually just Oh, Jay, we're gonna call you
Starting point is 00:02:17 We can actually just call him on the line We're gonna call you on the line He's gonna be our first caller Come prepared with topics We can do a call If you guys would like I can pull that computer up and we can do it. We can take calls?
Starting point is 00:02:27 Yeah, we did it on Pick Central. They were fucking awful. Yeah, they typically are. Calls are. Every once in a while you'll get a good one. I had one minute fan that got through and he just bombed. Then I had a guy from Oklahoma talking to Oklahoma Sooner Smack. And nothing gets a show started better than college football smack.
Starting point is 00:02:43 That's a guy. I've never seen him. I rode the elevator with him today and he said, what's up, B-Walk? And I said, what's up to him? To my knowledge, this is his first day. I think he's hoping for a play video side. We got to get his mustachioed ass in here. I like him.
Starting point is 00:02:57 He looked like a smaller version of Big T. Like medium T. You could just say T. T. I'm sorry. I have a little brain fog. I was out late last night. Were you?
Starting point is 00:03:09 Me, him, and my dad. Yeah. We all went out. We went out to dinner. Yeah. We went out to dinner last night. Me, him, and my dad. Where?
Starting point is 00:03:15 Where'd we go? We went to the Smith. The Smith. Yeah. Went to the Smith. Expensive. Yeah. His dad was buying me appletinis.
Starting point is 00:03:21 My dad did buy. Yeah, he did. All right. He's on. Che. What's up? Can you hear me? Yeah, it is 104, and we have fucking nothing to talk about.
Starting point is 00:03:31 We've run out of conversation. You did not think it was Saturday. You've never made that mistake in your life. You're a data guy. I mean, it's a different world down here at the beach. What beach are you at? What was that? I don't know if that...
Starting point is 00:03:48 What was that sound bite? Wait, what was it? That's fucking... Che, what beach are you at? Ocean City, New Jersey. Yeah, it is different all the way over there. It's an hour away. All right.
Starting point is 00:04:03 Way more than that. Way more. No, I'm making one right now would you prefer me to email it to zahn teacher to print that out you want to just text it to owen old school can you say it's not in either now no let's uh let's uh email it to zahn and we'll put it up on screen and we'll go through it okay all right you got it'll be there in five to seven minutes you can make make an entire prep sheet in five minutes I mean the other part is what I have to think about but I'll go into hyper mode
Starting point is 00:04:33 yeah do it y'all ever seen Che on hyper mode? I'd fucking love it oh fuck Che fuck the prep sheet go out and enjoy the beach with your family. Go out in the waves. See how far you can make it.
Starting point is 00:04:49 I've already started. The prep sheet does. Okay, cool. We have a timer on. Yeah, this was my goof. All right, no. Hold on. Start the timer when I get off the phone.
Starting point is 00:04:59 All right, we'll start the timer when you get off the phone. Five minutes or what do you want? Six minutes? Five to seven. We'll do six. Well, wait a minute before we start it. Oh, we can just change it. Brandon. Well, like a maximum of seven.
Starting point is 00:05:14 Hopefully done by five. Alright. That's a lot of parameters there. Alright, Jay. Thank you. Alright. Bye. I can't wait for that you know I don't I don't want to be here any guesses on what the other
Starting point is 00:05:27 is going to be well I'll take a guess whoever's the closest we'll start with TJ what was it Jesus what do you think one of Che's other categories
Starting point is 00:05:41 will be on his prep sheet trade deadline what's your favorite trade oh yeah what's your favorite trade Che's other categories will be on his prep sheet. Trade deadline. What's your favorite trade? I don't think that's... Oh, yeah. What's your favorite trade ever? I don't think that's other. Parentheses, Pokemon cards.
Starting point is 00:05:52 I don't think that's other. I think that's... No, no. It's going to be on the prep sheet. But it would be like, what's your favorite trade ever? Sports? Cards? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:00 Car? Car. Trades are the most exciting thing a human can experience. Trading and bartering. Yes. That's actually a great point. I think you're right because isn't sex technically a trade? No, but like an actual trade.
Starting point is 00:06:14 What are you getting in return? Two completely different items. Let's see. And it just works so well. Yeah. For both parties. I don't like an uneven trade because i want i like when both people are so happy with what they receive i want to trade with somebody today are you guys good at trading
Starting point is 00:06:29 i rip people off i've never been ripped off really yeah so my my electric bike i would be willing to to trade that what would you trade it for cash got your eyes on anything in the office no i want an item. Something materialistic. Would you trade it for pussy? Yes. You want to fuck Simone Biles. Yeah, I made that public. You made that, yeah, I know.
Starting point is 00:06:54 Remember last year I tweeted a head-sliding video at her, hoping it would spawn a video response from her. Did it? Because she did a video of her changing on her, doing a headstand and taking off her shorts. And I thought mine was equally impressive. So you guys both think you could fuck upside down
Starting point is 00:07:16 or something? Something like that. That'd be cool. She's only 4'8", so. Yeah, that would look goofy next to your tall ass. It would. I got a foot on her. Kind of.
Starting point is 00:07:32 Oh, man. Brandon, what else is going on? Brandon, what is up? Do you really just despise this hour? We're doing this? Yeah, but what is the difference between this and pick central and walk the line so okay i feel like you like us more yes i'm certain this is my favorite hour i ever do and but what's up lately uh no yesterday i was doing an hour yesterday i get yesterday you guys
Starting point is 00:07:59 came in and said we're gonna do a three-hour show i we were obviously lying but i had already i know that but i had already done, I had a plan to meet that guy out there, David Blattman, at two o'clock. I talked to Blattman. He said there was no set time.
Starting point is 00:08:12 It was very, it was very loosely based schedule. Based on what I had afterwards, it was two o'clock. I told him two o'clock. No, he's lying to you. It's not that. He's lying to you.
Starting point is 00:08:21 He says, you don't want to chill with us and talk? This is my favorite hour of the day. I had a meeting. Obviously not. I had a meeting with Blatman Monday. I still haven't showed up.
Starting point is 00:08:31 I have not showed up. Meetings with Blatman are terrible. I don't enjoy them. But I got a project that's coming, so I'm working on that. Also, it's Sassanoan. I'm going to announce it probably the day before you announce it. What? It's Sassanoan.
Starting point is 00:08:45 Sassanoan. You think that... They're too young. before you announce it. What? It's Sassanoan. Sassanoan. You think that you don't want to play games with 20-year-old boys. Correct, yes. Is that it? But what about when we're just talking? This I love. You've got me and Nick. I love this.
Starting point is 00:08:55 This is nice. We have similar interests. I'm not leaving today. I'll stay here until 5 o'clock today. Okay. Talking to you boys. But whenever you get uncomfortable around the young ones, just close your eyes and pretend you're on the back of an ATV with Marty Mush,
Starting point is 00:09:06 where you're truly the happiest. I was on the front of that ATV. Marty was on the back holding me, and I did enjoy that. That was fun. Where are the young boys now? Have they made it to Chicago? They're in Chicago. They made it?
Starting point is 00:09:21 I think so. Sass was saying how the car ride shouldn't be too bad and then I was like really he was like well actually cars make me super anxious I was like so what it's gonna be it's gonna be horrible
Starting point is 00:09:32 I was like yeah I guess you're right they said they were gonna call in do they have the number I doubt they have the call in number oh who's this guy he that is a
Starting point is 00:09:42 what's he pointed us for he's in a tie-dye shirt. He's got flowers. He's got flowers. Hey, come here, bud. Cargo shorts, a bucket hat. Bring your ass over here. Bring your flowery ass over here.
Starting point is 00:09:53 No, there's no door there, sir. There's no door. You're just walking. Who's this guy? I love him. I love him. Ebony's saying no. No?
Starting point is 00:10:00 No? Well, what's it going to hurt? What's this man? Why is Ebony? Oh, Ebony's still. She's beefing with you. Has she seen? You've grown since last week.
Starting point is 00:10:11 Penally. How are you doing down there, Kyle? Who is that guy? He's jolly. He's just. That's the word. He's very jolly. He's hiding something dark.
Starting point is 00:10:21 Brandon, name three famous Jewish women. Actually, yeah. Let's take a caller and have them. Okay. Do they have to be alive? Alive. No, they don't have to be alive. Go try to go the highest tier possible.
Starting point is 00:10:37 Okay, highest tier possible. We'll let you keep Frank. Well, that's not. What? We'll let you keep her. I thought you meant the tank. No. Che has 30 seconds left, by the way. Yeah, he Frank. Well, that's not... What? We'll let you keep her. I thought you meant the tank. No. Che has 30 seconds left, by the way.
Starting point is 00:10:48 Yeah, he does. I see that. Okay, we're getting close. Look at that overlay we have. We're good at tech now. I was going to do Indian women. Yeah, name three Indian women. Jewishest.
Starting point is 00:10:59 Zah, name three Indian women. Podmum. Do porn stars count? Podmma. Porn stars count? Podma. Porn stars. I don't know any. Indian porn star. Priya Ray.
Starting point is 00:11:12 Is she a porn star? Priya Ray, that's one. I can't tell what you're saying. Is that a one word? Priya Ray. Something Berg? Priya is her first name. Ray is.
Starting point is 00:11:19 She's not on the charts. She's not a chart topper. She's not a chart topper. Amy Poehler. Old school. Tina Fey. I don't think Poler. Old school. Tina Fey. I don't think Poehler is Jewish.
Starting point is 00:11:28 Tina Fey. I don't know if she is either. I don't know if Fey is either. No, Fey is Catholic. I'm just throwing out. You're 0 for 2. And why are you just going comedians?
Starting point is 00:11:35 You don't know any bank owners, Brandon? Famous ones? How many famous bank owners are there? Okay, go ahead. Keep naming comedians. You'll hit.
Starting point is 00:11:44 Schumer. No. Almost certainly. She comedians. You'll hit. Schumer? No. No. Almost certainly. She might be. She might be. There goes the happy guy. Let's just bring him in.
Starting point is 00:11:53 I don't think Ebony's going to let him in. Ebony's not going to let him in. Does Ebony have control over who comes on her show? Well, she has security, and I think she gave him a pat down. She's walking that guy out. He looks harmless. Yeah. He looks like a junior college basketball coach.
Starting point is 00:12:04 What? I don't think. In the face. No. Oh, he looks like a junior college basketball coach. What? I don't think. In the face. Oh, just facially for sure. Yeah. I don't know about that. Up, up, up, up. Oh, this is tough.
Starting point is 00:12:12 This is tough. Oh, boy. Nice try, pal. Oh, did you see everybody stare us down right there? You got beef? Who was that? She can't. Staring us down?
Starting point is 00:12:21 Come here. Who's flowers, though? She's been pissing me off. Who do we think those flowers are for? I got this. I got this. Talk on the mic.
Starting point is 00:12:29 Why wouldn't you let us? You just love me when I'm off on the mic, huh? I do. Why are you mad at us? Why the hell y'all always trying to invite weird people in here?
Starting point is 00:12:37 We have nothing else. He was bearing flowers. It's not my fucking show. It's not my fault. Y'all have nothing to talk about having weird people come in. I know, but you don't. You can't tell people
Starting point is 00:12:44 not to be on our show. I just told him he can't come. Did he, but you don't. You can't tell people not to be on our show. I just told him he can't come. Did he come in? No, but you can't tell people not to be on our show. Who was that and what is he doing? Who was he?
Starting point is 00:12:50 Who were the flowers for? What was his name? It's somebody's birthday. Who's birthday? Why? Because we need to know. The fact that you don't know. We'll find out.
Starting point is 00:12:59 We want to bring them on the show to talk about their birthday. Your flowers are loud. They're interrupting us. You still want to go there with your little ass? You still want to go there? You still want to go there?
Starting point is 00:13:08 Relax it. Relax. All right, stop now. You said we were going to have a good weekend until I saw it. What did you ask to see of mine this morning? Tell me you wanted to. Ebony asked to see my butthole. I definitely did. Jesus, Ebony. He was willing to show it to me. No, I wasn't.
Starting point is 00:13:24 How did it come up in conversation? I walked in I said morning TGIF Hope you have a great one How are the kiddos? And you said show me your butthole Lied
Starting point is 00:13:33 You know what's so crazy? They're all gonna believe that That is a complete lie I did No How did his butthole come up? He was willing to show me his butthole And you said do it
Starting point is 00:13:41 I said what are you doing this weekend? He said nothing I said some fuck shit That is not what he said He said I might do it he's like i know you're gonna do some ratchet shit i was like i ain't gonna do it you think i said that he did say that yeah and then i was like he actually didn't use the word ratchet i didn't use the word it was something worse stick together that's what it is they do who are the flowers for? Who was that man? I'm with you. Fuck you, KB.
Starting point is 00:14:08 I was going to go to town. I was going to try to find it. When I found it, I was going to suck it. It's doable. I didn't know that was the case. Had I known, I would have... I hope that was a secret admirer of somebody.
Starting point is 00:14:24 Might be. You just talked yourself straight out of a sucking, Kyle. I still feel like legally I have to walk on eggshells. Because of the last sucking? I don't know if I can talk about getting sucked from a co-worker. I think she already violated something. Okay, you're still a Jewish woman. from a co-worker. I think she already violated something. Okay. She's a Jewish woman.
Starting point is 00:14:48 Yeah. Yeah. We gave you that was good enough. Give me Schumer. I'll TJ can we get a fact check on Schumer?
Starting point is 00:14:55 How do you Google that? Just how Jewish is she or just say Schumer Jewish and I'll say yes or no. You're giving me that one. All right. Zellwe me that one. Alright. Zellweger.
Starting point is 00:15:09 And why did you set it with the hardest ER? She was raised Jewish. You said the last syllable of her name well and the last syllable of her last name well. Alright. That was an experience, Tom. Yeah, you got 0.5. How about Lady Gaga?
Starting point is 00:15:31 Is she Jewish? No. Why do you just keep saying no? You guys are guessing too. She's Italian. Gaga is not Jewish. She's Italian? For real?
Starting point is 00:15:38 Yes. Her name is Stephanie... Her grandma lives in Wheeling. Yeah. Germanati. That's not true. Yeah, it is. Yeah, she's in Wheeling all the time.
Starting point is 00:15:45 I saw her at DeCarlo's Pizza, downtown DeCarlo's. You're missing a comedian that's probably the most obviously Jewish. Well, Jerry Seinfeld's Jewish. And OJC. Thank you. Damn. Thank you. Wow.
Starting point is 00:15:56 He threw a picture. Okay, Che, you put a picture on the prep sheet, so we'll subtract the minute. Thank you, Che. You did not have to do that. You didn't have to do it. Oh, it's a two. Oh, my God. It's gone into the back that. Didn't have to do it. Oh, it's a two. Oh, my God. It's gone into the back. That's a big one. Who do you think has the biggest Adam's
Starting point is 00:16:09 Apple at Barstool? That's Jack McCartney. Is he in? He was. I think he left to go look at apartments. He has a gigantic Adam's Apple. The biggest Adam's Apple at Barstool. That's a good one. Thank you, Chad. Not me. KB, you haven't any. I got my tonsils and adenoids removed all of them i don't know if that affects it should it nate slur um yeah you're gonna give up on the all right no i got the whole show right
Starting point is 00:16:34 i'll just drop a jewish jewish woman uh stanko can do it stanko stanko come here go to the mic what what are we giving them i I thought it was Jewish women. What's up? Name one Indian woman. Five. The one that's married to one of the Jones brothers, Priya Sharma or whatever. Yeah, that's good enough. It's Priya Sharma.
Starting point is 00:16:55 You got it. Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome. Priya Sharma. Thank you. Who's the one on top, Chef? Is she an Indian woman?
Starting point is 00:17:04 Padme? Padma. Not Padme. That's Star Wars. What's the one on Top Chef? Is she an Indian woman? Padme? Padma. Not Padme. That's Star Wars. What's her name? She's from Naboo. You have a wealth of options with the Judaism category. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:20 Prima Sharma. That wasn't. Wait. That's not her. He was trying to say Priyanka Chopra. But he said Priya Sharma. No,'t... Wait, that's not her. He was trying to say Priyanka Chopra. But he said Priya Sharma. No, that's just a woman's LinkedIn. She's a senior director.
Starting point is 00:17:30 She's doing well. She is doing... Well, there's multiple Priya Sharmas. Yeah, so I guess we'll give it to them. There's a lot of Priya Sharmas. Yeah. It's like Heather Smith. What did Nate order?
Starting point is 00:17:44 Looks like he got us some Chick-fil-A, Nick. That looks good. Got him a Chick-fil-A bag. All right, Brandon, you do a solo podcast. I do. I think when it's a topic you're passionate about, you do... I do college football, I do wrestling. What's the thing in your basement where you just talk and talk and talk alone?
Starting point is 00:18:03 Basement talk? It's called basement talk. But I haven't done that in over a year. Talk about something you're passionate about. Well, we could talk about wrestling. I'm going to SummerSlam. Me and Robbie Fox are going to SummerSlam. Let's just talk about wrestling, yeah. We'll go to SummerSlam. I talked to Nick's dad. He's a big wrestling fan yesterday.
Starting point is 00:18:17 We talked about our mutual loves of... He liked a lot of the more muscular guys. He liked guys back in the 80s. Yeah. The steroid guys. They would chat and chat and chat Somebody else sent us a prep sheet CJRack22 Really?
Starting point is 00:18:31 Yeah Let's use his Alright Best non-major sport to be a professional in? Tennis You think They make a ton of money What is the tennis
Starting point is 00:18:41 That's probably it ATP, WTA, women's tennis And then ATP is the men's tennis, right? But, like, is golf a major sport? Golf's a major sport. The problem with golf is you only, I guess it's similar in tennis, you have to win or compete to get money. If you suck, you're not getting anything. Okay.
Starting point is 00:19:03 In what sport can you suck? Well, team sports you can. Just team sports. Yeah, team sports. So I guess tennis is the same way. But tennis money. Tennis you have to be good. So basically your dream is to get paid even though you leave an hour early or something.
Starting point is 00:19:17 So you do. No, no, no. That's like your dream. All I'm saying is the top level of, I feel like an average level of golf is not the dream life that you, it's a good life. It's a good life. But it's not like the top level of golf is a dream life. It's an ideal life.
Starting point is 00:19:32 Even the mid-level golf would be a dream life, I think. Well, you're playing golf, yeah. What is like a subpar, mediocre pro golfer making? Probably like still hundreds of thousands. Yeah, easy. I would say the money list probably goes uh to i don't know you had to be 30th or 40th before you drop under a million probably but i'm just guessing pro skateboarder would be cool that i think that would be miserable why you're always gonna bust your wrist and your ankle you're oh my god what have we got they're not great. Yeah, there you go.
Starting point is 00:20:05 Not great. Average golfer. Well, that's just golfer. That's about two Sasquatches. What that is is just running a golf course, PGA Golf Pro. That's just like being the golf pro at Wheeling Country Club. That's still pro, right? No, not really.
Starting point is 00:20:19 They call them pros because they run the golf course. They get paid to golf. But they're not PGA Tour. So someone on the PGA Tour, what are they making? That's PGA professionals. That's not a PGA Tour professional. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:31 Do you have a quota of tournaments to play in? Well, you have to qualify for certain tournaments. You have to qualify. Again, if you're a top-level guy, you just play in. There's some PGA guys who don't play often. Right. And they're not making much. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:41 So if you say a mid-range tournament like the Greenbrier. It's about that time. OK. So you go to a mid-range golf tournament and you
Starting point is 00:20:56 get you get dead last. How much are you making. I mean there's probably a minimum but I would three grand maybe.
Starting point is 00:21:04 Oh. Yuck. PGA Tour money list. Okay. Brandon, name three pro women golfers. It'd be way cooler if you couldn't. Yeah. We just did a big thing. You can name college ones too because we just did a big thing
Starting point is 00:21:25 you can name college ones too because we just did that big thing Allie Ewing Michelle Wee and there's a there's one that was just on Token C I know you watched it real hot shot
Starting point is 00:21:35 and then Grace Park yeah that's three yeah all right good work Tyler Tyler
Starting point is 00:21:42 he could probably name a billion Nick name three women's tennis players. Don't watch tennis. I couldn't name three male. Friday Trivia. Sure. Brandon got stumped.
Starting point is 00:21:52 Name three famous Jewish women. Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Okay. You said Alive. Did he? Yeah. Alive is better. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:03 Well, the deep state is keeping her propped up somewhere. Famous Jewish women. Okay. Good work, TJ. Do you want an orange? Do I want a what? He looks like a famous Jewish woman right now. That's not very nice.
Starting point is 00:22:20 This shirt is popping on that camera. The greens are strong. The greens are strong. And the quads looking at the shirt. The greens are strong. And the quads are popping. Is that a five and a half inch seam? It was advertised as such, but I think I was hoodwinked. Why? What do you think that is?
Starting point is 00:22:32 Is that more or less? I think these are less. I think that's like a four. Okay. Famous Jewish women. No, I'm not stalling. Well. I want to say.
Starting point is 00:22:44 You don't have to name all three at once. Well. I want to say. You don't have to name all three at once. You can just give me one. Were you able to get any? I got one. They gave me Schumer. I got Amy Schumer. They gave her to me.
Starting point is 00:22:56 We don't know if that counts. She was raised, but became. Yeah. Atheist like Jon Stewart. I think we. So you're in second place. So you have the silver man right now. I really want to get one. You are in second
Starting point is 00:23:10 so you are the silver man. Is Alina Kagan another Supreme Court justice? Barbara Streisand? Jesus Christ. You're not the goldie guy but you're second place so you're the silver man right now. Oh, Sarah Silverman. Oh, all right.
Starting point is 00:23:25 Not bad. Sarah Silverman. I should get Streisand because I didn't see the picture. Now you're leading. You're the Goldie. Goldie Han. The chicken. This has been great.
Starting point is 00:23:37 Okay. Thank you. I'm sorry to let you down. I'll be better and read up on my Jewish. You don't have to. Natalie Portman, Scar Jo. Hey, Tyler. Mila Kunis.
Starting point is 00:23:46 How do you decide early in the day, in the morning, if you're going to wear the lightning bolt earring or not? Are we partying? So you're partying today? Yeah. If the earring's in, we're partying. Okay. Good to know.
Starting point is 00:23:58 If it's out. Why don't you turn your head? Turn your head a little bit more. Why don't you turn a little bit more? There you go. And you make that decision in the morning, or do you pre-plan the party? Do we get new cameras in here? No, but they just zoom further than we ever thought.
Starting point is 00:24:13 Yeah. Yeah. The quality's good. Yeah. All right. All right, thanks. Love you all. See you.
Starting point is 00:24:21 Idina Menzel. Is that an obvious one? Let it go Yes Why is that obvious? It's just Gwyneth Paltrow I think you're just saying women
Starting point is 00:24:30 Wrong Paltrow is Paltrow is Read Goop once In your fucking life Brandon What is Goop? What is Goop? What isn't?
Starting point is 00:24:43 What are you going to do this weekend Kyle? We're not done with this guy's prep sheet. He crushed it. If you had to trade one body part with someone else in the room, what would it be and with who? That's a great one. Just one body part, though. One body part?
Starting point is 00:25:05 Brandon, you've got good hair. I feel like that's not accurate at all. Doing what I can for a 42-year-old man. For a 42-year-old man, it's good. Incredible hairline. Why don't we just all switch hairs, then? Yeah, fuck it. You want to take Kyle's hair?
Starting point is 00:25:20 No. I wouldn't take Kyle's hair? Brandon would look good with Zaz's hair. Brandon would look good with Zaz's. I Brandon would look good with Zah's hair. I have a big forehead. I do too. You need a smaller forehead? It's a big foreheaded show right now.
Starting point is 00:25:32 Yuck. You know who's got a big forehead? Marty Mush. Does he? Gigantic forehead. I don't know. Oh, that is a big forehead. Not today.
Starting point is 00:25:42 Not today. It's a bad forehead day for you. It is big. It's a bad forehead day for you. It is big. It is huge. I don't get any shit for it either. Has it always been a big forehead or is this a new development? I think so. You got to start wearing a bandana.
Starting point is 00:25:56 What's going on here? Oh, it looks like they got a shelf. It's crazy Friday here. Let's get that shelf in here. Bring that big shelf in here. Hey, bring that big shelf in here. Oh, fuck. Shelf. Enrique's calf muscles are insane.
Starting point is 00:26:13 Yeah. No, they're pretty insane. Those are good calves. God damn, Enrique. Look at those shoes. Whose are those? Oh, that's that intern Sean that I like. Scroll up.
Starting point is 00:26:23 Don't tell me. It's Sean. What are those? Those aren't the guavas? What's the... Okay. Let's look at Big T's computer. Let's see what he's looking at.
Starting point is 00:26:38 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. These cameras are good. These are good. Let's see the tabs. Wait, I'm going to DM him, fuck you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, wow. These cameras are good. These are good. Let's see the tabs. Wait, I want to DM him, fuck you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he's got draft day up.
Starting point is 00:26:57 Hurry up. Okay. No, Sean. Sean, He better What is he doing? Why is he fidgety? I just said fuck you Oh he's looking at Trista
Starting point is 00:27:09 Is he going to Trista Crick? Oh fuck What is he doing? Did you DM it? I DM'd him fuck you I think he's Oh Is he crafting a blog?
Starting point is 00:27:18 I think he's He's about to clap back Is that a torrent site? But I want his back to clap Come on. What's he doing? Who's that? Who is that?
Starting point is 00:27:28 I don't trust anyone around him. Yeah, they're going to rat us out. Too much moving. Come on, go back to Twitter. Come on. Keeps those hands lotioned up. What is he doing? That's sanitizer.
Starting point is 00:27:48 That's drying out his hands. Has he picked up his phone to look at the Twitter, you think? Oh, fuck, maybe. No, he wouldn't do that. No, he doesn't look at his phone during work hours. What are his ads for? Is that like a pro-life company? Baby.com.
Starting point is 00:28:04 The most pro-life company there is. Oh, no. All right, let's get off of this. No, no, no. No. Why? All right. The way he's going to look.
Starting point is 00:28:13 Yeah. Hold on. I want to call him and ask him if he can see if the yak's working on YouTube and it'll just be his computer screen. Hold on. Can we get back to his screen all right i want to call him oh he's looking up shohei otani now diving into the numbers this is gonna be funny oh come on get out of the way mince he's everywhere get back get back What's he doing? He's just doing an average scroll.
Starting point is 00:28:49 He's on her timeline. He's just taking a scroll. Is he not picking up? Is he ignoring me? I don't know. I don't have his number. I might have. How is he ignoring me? He didn't pick up.
Starting point is 00:29:08 That son of a bitch. All right. We'll just keep an eye on that. We'll keep a close eye on it. Enrique. Enrique. Wow, he heard that. He heard us. Yes.
Starting point is 00:29:21 He heard us as well. That's okay. Can we switch back to big T cam? You're looking at Trent. Trent. Speaking of Trent. Congrats to Trent. That was a really good vaguely knew what he was doing with the 100 challenge.
Starting point is 00:29:37 Name three Jewish women. I don't know. OK. Yeah. I don't know if I have anything right now. Name three Indian women. Jamila Jamil. Wow. Priyanka Chopra.
Starting point is 00:29:54 I can't think of a third one. Oh, Mindy Kaling. There we go. There we go. Good work. Any other races? Yeah. Kyle?
Starting point is 00:30:03 Japanese women. Naomi Osaka. Sure. She women. Naomi Osaka. Sure. She's half. Okay. I mean, it's all made up, so that's fine. Who else? Japanese?
Starting point is 00:30:15 I don't know if I have any else. Okay. All of mine are figure skaters. Midori Ito and Christy Yamaguchi. You know, I've actually met Christy Yamaguchi. How is she? She's very nice. I have a friend who's a close friend of hers.
Starting point is 00:30:25 Okay. So it was nice, yeah. Can we get her on the show? Probably not. Okay. Yeah. I'd love to get Yamaguchi on the pod. What an icon, huh?
Starting point is 00:30:33 Oh, yeah. Yeah. All time. She was there with Mia Hamm for me. That's like my childhood of women sports stars was Yamaguchi and Mia Hamm. I loved Yamaguchi. And Jenny Finch. You're obsessed with Jenny Finch.
Starting point is 00:30:45 She was the women's star when we were kids. No Margarita. No, that's Mia Hamm. Oh, sad. She's married to a baseball player. That's much worse. Am I all set? Yeah, you're good. Thank you. You did well.
Starting point is 00:31:01 You did the best today. Gold. I love talking pussy. Oh man, Thank you. You did well. You did the best today. Gold. I love talking pussy. Oh, yeah. We're back. Oh, man. He's deep in the stats. Why didn't he answer you is the question. I know.
Starting point is 00:31:13 Do you have Big T's number, Kyle? Tell me his number. I'm not doing that. I must have did. Trent might have the most advantageous fan base out of anyone at this company. Advantageous? Yeah. How? What do you mean? this company. Advantageous? Yeah. How?
Starting point is 00:31:26 What do you mean? He has the entire golf community. Yeah. Or like 70%. The Bachelor. Which is most men. The Bachelor universe, which is probably 70% of women. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:37 Many of whom are hot. And he has Iowa. Which is? Which is all like the blue collar. Terrible. He has three very different categories of people that are very advantageous to have on your side. I know. I don't think that word works.
Starting point is 00:31:53 Trent's really nice. We're getting dinner with him tonight. I don't think advantageous works. He's going to take advantage of them? No. It's the beneficial. Desirable. Supportive?
Starting point is 00:32:06 So golfers, Bachelor fans, and Iowa are your three desirable fan bases? That's who you want in your corner. Who are yours, Brandon? Who's your demo? Yeah, so rich guys who will hook you up with whatever, hot girls in Iowa. Yeah. Okay, yeah, that's good. Dude, that spans a lot of America.
Starting point is 00:32:27 Do you think the majority of the Bachelor audience is hot girls? No, but that's a lot. I mean, a lot of hot girls probably watch that. I think a majority of the Bachelor audience is certainly girls. Girls. Whether they're hot or not, that's up to taste. I think probably 70% of girls consume The Bachelor, at least casually. That's fair.
Starting point is 00:32:49 Up to a certain age. Americans. Okay. Above poverty. Here comes Ebony. I think you guys are intimidated by Ebony. I like Ebony. What would make you think that?
Starting point is 00:33:05 Yeah, what would make you think that? Yeah, what would make you think that? Big T. Writing a blog. Sorry, what do you need? Was he, though? No. Yeah, he wasn't at all. All right, he's going to call me back.
Starting point is 00:33:17 Can we switch to Big T cam? Yeah. Oh, he's been on Otani for a while. I texted him and said, does the yak look okay on YouTube right now? And he said yep And I said on desktop or mobile Looks fine on my phone but weird on my laptop He said that?
Starting point is 00:33:30 I think he checked on his phone Do you see this? Quick little spook For him It's a little spook I told him to call me real quick God damn it Connor for him. It's a little spook. I told him to call me real quick. God damn it, Connor.
Starting point is 00:33:50 Connor, this guy. You want to get this guy in here? Because he's walking around. Yeah, I do. Yeah, let's get him in here. You don't want him now. He's just teasing. Hey, boy. Hey, hey, hey.
Starting point is 00:33:57 Oh, hey. Big T's calling me. Big T's calling me. Okay, never mind. Hey, we're getting complaints. I just know you're the only one in the office. Can you check and see if the yak's working on desktop? It is?
Starting point is 00:34:10 They just said it went down again, if you could double check. I appreciate it, because it's just like we're getting a ton of comments. We don't know if they're fucking with us. It's working on your desktop computer? You're looking at it right now. Are you lying to me? I think you're lying to me. What is that?
Starting point is 00:34:37 Asking about autonomy. He just blatantly lied to you. What? All right. All right. Never mind mind thank you man i think it's back up what was that what's up he got mad at me all right so is it him at the recon we got the wrong guy no who is that that's evo's desk T's desk. No, no, no. What? You can't see Big T's from here. Oh, shit. That's the second brick of thing. Oh, my God. How did we fuck that up?
Starting point is 00:35:12 I was like, wait, how the hell does he not see it? Oh, and Ebo does the stats. He's the stats guy. There we go. Makes sense. Oh. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:20 Oh, man, spoiler alert. Sportsbook's going to be tweeting out an Otani graphic later today. I can't wait. Respond to it and say, I saw this already on the Yak. Old news. Old fucking news. Let's compare the prep sheets because this kid crushed his. Did he just DM you the prep sheet?
Starting point is 00:35:40 Yeah. What else did he say? He said, could KB train himself into an accent that someone who is native to that region could not detect in one month? Almost certainly. Yes. No. Yes. No.
Starting point is 00:35:55 Okay, let's say California. I don't even know what that is. You know that there are regional dialects. You know that there are certain affectations. You know that there are certain affectations. California, probably. Okay. Philly. Yes.
Starting point is 00:36:11 No, you couldn't. They'd know. Vermont. Brandon, would you rather be on the yak for an hour or only consume vegetables for the rest of the month? That is a great question. I, I, oh boy. We need a Bella Danger in here with her hard nipples answering this one. Choose, choose the yak.
Starting point is 00:36:35 Okay. Choose the yak. Easier to hunt a small child or an ape aware of the stakes? A child. A small child. It's easier. Much easier. Yes. Yeah. That's one of the easier things. I would, I would, yeah, I wouldn't even say that would. A small child. Much easier.
Starting point is 00:36:45 Yes. That's one of the easier things. Yeah, I wouldn't even say that would be a challenge. But is it possible to make an ape aware of the stakes? I don't think you can make an ape aware of the stakes. That's a whole new can of worms. But a child is easy to hunt. I hunt children all the time.
Starting point is 00:37:03 Oh, he's watching. Yo. What's up? Kyle, where'd be you, bro? He didn't give a fuck. Wait, did that just not confuse him at all? Well, he's on the way. He's watching us watch him now.
Starting point is 00:37:20 Okay. Ah, man. We really pranking today. Yeah, we really on one today. We're on one. What the fuck? Hitting our stride. We really pranking today. Yeah, we really on one today. We're on one. What the fuck? Hitting our stride. We are.
Starting point is 00:37:30 We could probably go a second hour. Brandon, you've got a good outfit on today. I do. I've got my socks. I've got my shoes. You're just naming clothing. I'm also wearing shorts. I have two shirts on.
Starting point is 00:37:41 Thank you very much for noticing, Nick. I appreciate it. You're very Mississippi-stated up. I am. I am. Kyle, what's your favorite part of Mississippi? Mississippi? Yeah. Biloxi.
Starting point is 00:37:51 That's not Mississippi. What? It's not Mississippi. Is there a part of West Virginia where you say that's not West Virginia? Yeah, where we're from. You guys live in it, right? And people down south say that the northern panhandle isn't true West Virginia. You're Ohio, right?
Starting point is 00:38:03 Or Pennsylvania. They say you're Ohio. I don't know what they say. Yankees. Yeah, that's what they call us. What's on that guy's bag? That's a Nick cartoon? No, that's Bob's Burgers.
Starting point is 00:38:17 A Bob's Burgers bag. Hey, Ebony. She's not happy with me I gotta show her my butthole Mm-hmm Mm-hmm Mm-hmm What's she doing?
Starting point is 00:38:35 Mm-hmm Mm-hmm This is gonna be a good podcast Ebony Okay if you guys wanna draft somebody From out there just to bring them in and kill 10 minutes who do you want me to go get um i liked the new mustache guy i tried to like him though i don't like bringing people in on their first time they're they're nervous no no they're not gonna give us their full potential. Oh, do you want frequent flyers then? Some people's first times are legendary.
Starting point is 00:39:08 Sometimes they are, but I don't like forcing people into that situation. I know I would hate it. All right, do you want me to make a lap if I see somebody worthy? But wait, isn't that how you gut on this show? And look at you now. You're in the host chair. I still hate it. This is debatable which one's the host chair, I guess.
Starting point is 00:39:24 Well, Mintz has edged that chair close to the host chair during Pick Central. Really? He has gotten closer and closer to me every day today i was we were literally bumping wrists as we were as i was reading an ad can you go back like on episodes and see the chair progressively and i want to shift this way so eventually he's just going to be in the middle he's going to be hosting the entire show is going to be the far to the left who's drawing do you think looks the most like us? Behind me. I think... I think Caleb or Che.
Starting point is 00:40:00 Yeah, I do too. Caleb or Che. Nick, you're not dissimilar. Kyle's kind of... Kyle looks like Kyle. Kyle looks like Kyle. I think Roan's off. Something about Kyle, like, you're too smooth there.
Starting point is 00:40:14 Not that you're bumpy in person, but you're too smooth there. Too smooth where? On that. What do you mean? There's, like, you need some sort of wear and tear line. No, I don't have wear and tear. Is that the bad Marty? Okay.
Starting point is 00:40:31 What's up, guys? Care to explain your Instagram caption today? Oh, I just thought it was funny. What was it? I'm not like other guys. I'm worse. That is good. That is good.
Starting point is 00:40:44 Yeah, no, I had it in the bank For a while Fuck yeah You waited for a haircut Decided to break it out Yeah I'll be sure to like that Alright thanks bro
Starting point is 00:40:50 Yep follow Playboy Marty On Instagram What'd you That was weird He pointed just to you He singled you out He just pointed to me He never
Starting point is 00:40:56 He had a very long Crotch area on his pants That's a good That's a good pic of Marty He looks like You guys both look like Seth Rogen But don't look like each other
Starting point is 00:41:03 With his haircut He I'm not like other guys You guys both look like Seth Rogen, but don't look like each other. With his haircut. I'm not like other guys. I'm worse. All right, there we go. Handsome says... Brandon, your wife redid your basement unsolicitedly. Yeah, it's a little fucked up. It wasn't unsolicited at all.
Starting point is 00:41:24 I hate when women just jump into interior design without consulting thely. Yeah, it's a little fucked up. It wasn't unsolicited at all. I hate when women just jump into interior design without consulting the man. Yeah. Interior design's a man's job. I had all this stuff. You remind me a lot of Ty Pennington. I had all this stuff. Not by looks or anything,
Starting point is 00:41:36 but just like the demeanor. You and Ty Pennington have a lot in common. Are you talking about me? No, no, Kyle. You're confusing Ty Pennington with somebody else, with Christopher Lowell. Ty was not who you think he was. What was he?
Starting point is 00:41:49 Was there something evil about Ty Pennington's eyes? I don't know what Nick was doing. Ty Pennington was very desirable. Yeah. No, you remind me a lot of him. I don't know why. Handyman. He was.
Starting point is 00:41:59 He was cool. He was rugged. Yeah. I'm not insulting you. I don't know what you're... You're the Ty Pennington type. There was an ulterior motive. No.
Starting point is 00:42:08 Not at all. There's like five people in the office today. I don't even know who we can pull in. Enrique's walking back and forth. There's certainly nobody I see now. No, I don't think so. No one? I'll make one lap if you guys want me to.
Starting point is 00:42:23 Just to see. No, no, you're not allowed to leave the room rest in peace your men we're beefing I made fun of his penis yesterday you've been making fun of his penis for a week it's been such an ongoing thing
Starting point is 00:42:38 that I'm starting to realize is it a joke or not it seems to be always on here just constant ribbings. Is that honestly funny to you if you're making the same joke every day? Yes. Or is it just something that you can't stop thinking about? A little faster.
Starting point is 00:42:53 Stop. A little faster. There it comes. All right. We all do a five-second zoom of our penis. Kyle had a date last night. Good for you. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:43:07 How'd it go? He brought her home, and he told me that you said she was too drunk, right? Which is admirable of you. She was too drunk. On a scale of one to ten. And what do you need her to be? A little bit higher. Yeah, I don't blame you.
Starting point is 00:43:28 Thank you. I got some mentions saying not to say drawing today. Yeah, try it again. Drawing. Drawing. No, say it like you say it. Drawing. You say wing.
Starting point is 00:43:42 Yes. What are the last four letters of the word? Yeah, but not together. It's drawing. It's not draw wing. I'm saying it right and you're saying it wrong. I'm not saying it right. What are the last four letters of the word?
Starting point is 00:43:53 W-I-N-G. Okay. Pronounce that. D-R-A. Draw. W-I-N-G. Wing. D-R-A is draw.
Starting point is 00:44:00 Yeah, you're right. It is. Draw wing. It's not draw wing. Draw wing. It's draw-ing. The word is draw. Draw. Then you add I-N-G. Ing. It is. Drawing. It's not draw-wing. Drawing. It's draw-ing. The word is draw. Draw.
Starting point is 00:44:07 Then you add I-N-G. You don't add wing to D-R-A. Draw-ing. Oh, yeah, I am saying it wrong. That actually helped me. What else? NBA draft. Brandon.
Starting point is 00:44:20 Nick and his dad both had steak salads last night. So what? Steak salads are delicious. It's the worst food order I've ever met. So you either order a steak or a salad, right? They order steak salads. Steak salads are awesome. Drawing.
Starting point is 00:44:31 Drawing. Drawing. You're not saying that. He's saying drawing. Drawing. Say the Rose Art toy. The Rose Art toy. The Rose Art thing.
Starting point is 00:44:40 What the fuck's the Rose Art? What does Rose Art make? Crayons. Okay. You thought I was going to say crayons? Crayons. Crayon. Buckle.
Starting point is 00:44:49 KB, how about that structure over there on the west side? So the vessel. Oh, the vessel. I've historically hated it, and I've made that public. They had to shut it down in the winter because three people in the span of like two months jumped off of it. Yeah. Committed suicide, which is tragic.
Starting point is 00:45:07 It's horrible. The ledge at the top is, it goes up to your knees, so it's very easy. Why did they, what kind of design choice was that?
Starting point is 00:45:15 So this summer, they brought it back. It's opened back up. That stupid motherfucker. I think that looks awesome. It looks terrible. But what's in it? It looks stupid.
Starting point is 00:45:22 Nothing is in it. You can just, you can just walk up to the top. Now it's closed again, right? Yesterday or this past week, another person killed himself. Imagine that. And now it's closed again.
Starting point is 00:45:34 It needs to be demolished and I'll be front row. But what is drawing people to do to kill themselves there? Easy access. So is your home. No. No, they want to jump off something.
Starting point is 00:45:45 Drawing. And it's easy to jump off that. Not everybody has room access to these taller buildings. I'm just saying it's odd that there are some places people are more drawn to. I think people are. Logan Paul and his alien
Starting point is 00:46:01 winter hat is standing outside of the Hudson Yards right now just waiting. Just waiting. Yeah. No, there's like a, isn't there a bridge that a ton of people do it from too? Probably, yeah, probably lots of bridges. I don't think any big bridge, right? The one at Cornell was famous for it in like the aughts.
Starting point is 00:46:23 The what? The aughts. In the 2000s. Oh. oh and they put a net there is no good word for that decade no this yeah aughts sucks you sound like for the 2000s 2000s could mean just the whole the millennium millennium and then the o's i've never heard that before. The oughts. The oughts. I like that. You don't? It's just an odd. It needs a name.
Starting point is 00:46:50 Yeah. But 90s, 80s, 70s, these are all easy. Oughts, you have to think about. Yeah. All right. I guess we just got through with the teens. Now we're in the 20s, so it's easy from now on. The 20s. But are we going to refer to this as the 20s or does it replace the last 20s? The gay 20s?
Starting point is 00:47:06 The roaring 20s? What was the gay? What do you mean gay? Wasn't there the gay? That was the gay 90s, right? The 1890s. There were the gay 90s. Was it the gay 90s? I didn't know that. I'm almost certain it was the gay 90s. Certainly the roaring 20s. Yeah, we won't. The roaring 20s. The aughts. The double zeros.
Starting point is 00:47:22 I like that, man. I think we should just have that picture. What about the naughties? The naughties? Who is he? That was just drawn for, look at him. Look at him. That might be my new celebrity crush.
Starting point is 00:47:40 They could have, I like him a lot. I like how they decided to make a human standing man out of... Make his head 2009. They could have done so many other things. Any other creature. There was nothing stopping them from... Why is he tapered so much? It could have just been to do with all those things on his t-shirt.
Starting point is 00:47:59 And let's make his hands real detailed. Let's detail the fuck out of his hands. And there's so many glasses that the eyes are the double zeros. The double zeros, yeah, they're like, that's too simple. And the nine could be an ear. There's so many options. His left arm is way asunder. I love him.
Starting point is 00:48:26 I might get that tattooed on me. The name tattoo? You will. I will. It'll be your best tattoo. By far. That's awesome. Makes me laugh. We should have got a tattoo today on the show.
Starting point is 00:48:37 We could. Let's get a tattoo artist in Monday. If you're a tattoo artist in New York... No. We'll all get tattoos Monday. Everybody who's here. You're not get tattoos Monday. Everybody who's here. You're not here? No, everybody who's here Monday.
Starting point is 00:48:48 Tommy Walker? No, so Dan will have to get one. Ron will have to get one. Everybody will have to get one. Dan wants one. I think he does. We'll get a Creed tattoo. Kyle, what's your stance on Olympic rings tattoos?
Starting point is 00:48:59 Because I think that's pretty fucking badass. It's stupid. You think it's stupid? Any popular logo. Don't get a logo tatted on your body. Yeah, but if you get it... Unless they're paying you for advertising, don't put a logo on your body. But if you get it because you're an Olympian, though.
Starting point is 00:49:14 No. Huh. I think they're pretty cool. No, there's other ways. I'm a non-tattoo guy. But like, there's... That's an exclusive club. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:25 And don't put Roman numerals. Just put the fucking number. We're at a point where... What is the Roman numerals? What significance is that? To like the death of your relative or your birth date. Just put the number. Brandon, would you ever get a tattoo?
Starting point is 00:49:41 No. Why? Because me, people like me would roast it. Just made it long enough. I just don't. That's an example of a tattoo if you need it. When you get to 42, what could be your first tattoo? When you get to 42, what could be your first tattoo?
Starting point is 00:49:55 It would have to be your kid's name. Yeah, I'm not doing that. I got four of them. Yeah, pick out one. That's four tattoos. No. I can't pick out one. Why?
Starting point is 00:50:04 I guess I have picked out Tommy as the star of the group. Yeah. I should have brought him today. He'll be in next week. We'll have Tommy Walker day next week. I don't want to bring him in just when we need it. What does he do? What is his recreational schedule for the summer?
Starting point is 00:50:17 A lot of pooling. They went to the zoo yesterday. Pooling? Yeah. Pooling things out of things? A lot of going to the pool. Oh, okay. A lot of poolery Pooling like things out of things? A lot of going to the pool. A lot of poolery. Pooling organs out of carcasses?
Starting point is 00:50:31 I don't have a pool now. Oh, okay. No. My next house will have a pool. It'll probably be in Mississippi though. Yeah. Would love to have a pool. Sooner than later? No, maybe. Would you consider something like a mid-range,
Starting point is 00:50:46 like a Chattanooga? What's wrong with that? Chattanooga would be wonderful. It's a wonderful town. A lot of traffic. I think you need a somewhat sizable town. How about Asheville? You can't go back to the mud.
Starting point is 00:50:57 I'm not cool enough for Asheville. It's all these people who think they're more alt than the normies. Caleb Presley's of the world. He's literally from Asheville He's literally from there. A lot of people seek that out. Caleb emceed the Hooters pageant last night. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:14 Yeah, he did. He's cool. What was that? It was the Hooters pageant. They were picking out the Hooters girl of the year. Yeah, it was the one. It was the most stacked. The most stacked one.
Starting point is 00:51:22 The most stacked? Yeah, she was fucking stacked. Oh, you meant the lineup of nominees was stacked. We're talking about stacked chicks, and you bring up pictures of these, just three beefcakes? Three good-looking guys. Marty was there? Yeah. Both of them was asked to go, and not something I need to be doing.
Starting point is 00:51:44 Really? I asked out of that one, yeah don't have self control no i just i i i have a wife what's it called when you have a boner for too long that's a a mass an erection no but for too long don't they need to like drain it is there a name for having an erection too long yes i i've never experienced it yes it's like uh when you take too much viagra what are you like most excited not not not in length too long i'm talking about you over time no i understand okay yeah you meant duration uh calling viagra yeah my erection's too long how long have you had it? I don't know, like 30 seconds? It's just longer than normal.
Starting point is 00:52:30 What were you going to ask? What am I most excited about? Yeah, professionally. Football season is coming back around. That gives me a lot of self-worth around here. That gets me going. I get bogged down in the summer without just wandering around, not having much to do. Right.
Starting point is 00:52:45 So football season gives me a lot of self-worth to be excited about. Yeah. And you get down when you're not – without the self-worth, you feel depressed? No, I don't feel depressed. Angry, like frustrated that when other people are kind of getting the spotlight. Frustrated, yeah. When your employees are – Frustration, yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:03 Thriving, yeah. I usually don't get depressed. Okay. It's okay to not be okay, yeah. Get in the spotlight. Frustrate, yeah. When your employees are... Frustration, yeah. Thriving, yeah. I usually don't get depressed. Okay. It's okay to not be okay, though. I've heard that. Just be a nice human. It's true. Decent human.
Starting point is 00:53:13 Be a decent human, even. Mm-hmm. You have the choice in the barstool store. Either or. Either works. You can also have different types of energy, right? Yeah. I forget the types of energy you can have at the
Starting point is 00:53:28 Barstool store I'm sad I guess you can still have daddy energy right we're still handling that merch yeah yeah you can have daddy energy
Starting point is 00:53:37 you can have Friday energy and I think there's one more type of energy we got it all this room represents all of it no we as a whole. I'm a team guy.
Starting point is 00:53:47 I would like to think I've got daddy energy. Do you? Kyle, you have Friday energy. So Nick, you would have the other energy. I don't want to go to the barstool. TJ, can you go to the barstool store? Virgo energy. Is it Virgo energy?
Starting point is 00:54:00 I'm not a Virgo. Leo energy. I'm not a Virgo. It's funny having a crop top that says uncut. It's just a lie. The Planbury uncut crop top. That's just a blouse. Nuh-uh. Oh, that's sick.
Starting point is 00:54:22 Oh, that is cool. Oh, fuck. Oh, yeah. And you Oh, that is cool. Oh, fuck. Oh, yeah, and you see our first NIL. Is that true? Is Spencer Lee the wrestler? Yep. He seems like a cool guy. Yeah, he's awesome.
Starting point is 00:54:35 Virgo energy, Friday energy. It's about time wrestlers are getting thrusted into the limelight by mainstream media. Look at that. It's cool. It's a good shirt. Kyle, do you think you would have been a Barstool athlete back in the day? No, I would have applied but not gotten it.
Starting point is 00:54:56 Much like a Barstool internship. Yeah, I know. That was tough. Who's chosen over you? You can pull up KB's barstool intern interview. Don't do that. Don't do that. Where can you pull that?
Starting point is 00:55:10 That was actually traumatic. That was traumatic. Was it? I think I came in overconfident. I thought I was going to get it. Yeah. I was 25, and I couldn't even afford to have an internship. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:22 So I was like, oh. Did you dress up, Don? What? Did you dress up? No. Sweater and khakis. So I was like, oh, did you dress up? I'm done. What? Did you dress up? No. Sweater and khakis. So yeah. You very much dressed up.
Starting point is 00:55:31 People interviewing for internships, like this is my favorite time of the year because the one kid that came in in like a cow suit. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:55:39 people try to go too goofy. The look on his face when he walked in and realized it wasn't Oh, that's everyone who walks in realize that nobody
Starting point is 00:55:46 gives a fuck about you, which is an internal problem. Yeah, it certainly is. We should just learn basic human greetings. Aside from you, Kyle, it took me about two months before somebody
Starting point is 00:55:56 acknowledged I lived. Yeah, that's how it works here at the stool. No, I was on you early, Nick. Yeah, but you didn't say anything. I didn't? No. didn't no oh i i would like what do you mean i would rest my drink on you like as a coach yeah yeah no he just treated me as like a just a i was a buffer from everybody else at our desks that's true i used you as a to to stop
Starting point is 00:56:18 people from coming over yeah it worked yeah you showed up. Women stopped coming over to my desk. Yeah, yeah, that's true. That's okay, though. That's all right. Let's see what Debo's looking at one more time. Ebo. Yeah, Evan. Not Debo. Ebo.
Starting point is 00:56:36 Everybody calls him Ebo. The suspense is great. What is that? YouTube Dan P3 take it down we're stealing music yeah oh fuck oh no Ebo
Starting point is 00:56:56 I lost wifi for my collegiate career because of that yeah moves like Jagger right Maroon 5 wait they actually do
Starting point is 00:57:04 they actually do actually shut it off because i got i got like letters sent to me and i thought that was oh yeah okay what what did you download illegally bro pirate porn yeah yeah and then in college that was uh the old uh the old mega share oh geez when i got, it was the same time that Aaron Swartz got busted. What did he get busted for? He was using MIT's network to illegally download academic journals, and he got indicted for the felony fraud, and then he committed suicide. Oh.
Starting point is 00:57:39 And then you were doing moves like Jagger at Kent State. Yeah. Two in the same. Uh-huh. Damn, that's crazy. Suicide ever cross your mind there? No, we didn't. Our tallest building wouldn't have quite done it.
Starting point is 00:57:54 You would have just been worse off. Yeah. Yeah. Flash flood would get you. Also, jumping wide, that should be the last resort. I don't understand jumping either. That would be the most terrifying thing. First of all, it takes effort to get up there.
Starting point is 00:58:08 I want to die, but I want to be scared one more time. That's the last emotion I want to steal in this fleshy body is fear. Yeah, sad shit. Maybe regret. Maybe one and a half seconds of regret. Maybe so. Don't condone it. What's up, Crick?
Starting point is 00:58:28 You didn't deserve it. All right. That's a Friday. Yeah, we scratched and clawed and got to an hour. Yeah, we did it. Brandon? I'm sitting in the lobby. Do you want to leave first?
Starting point is 00:58:41 No, I'm good. You want to call it? You want me to call it? I can call it it all right that's the yak everybody have a good weekend safe weekend um watch out there's some rainy weather going on don't watch out for floods tornadoes have a great weekend kyle yep any last word yeah let's get it all right cool cool is he yuck is he yuck is he yuck
Starting point is 00:59:09 is he yuck is he yuck is he yuck is he yuck
Starting point is 00:59:21 is he It's a yak.

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