The Yak - The People vs. All Business Thief, Rone's Latest Prank, And Brandon's Penis' Voice

Episode Date: October 16, 2020

The origin of the soon-to-be trendiest fashion line for big guys, The Balls Beach Wear, Big Cat explains his shorts bad take, Rone's latest prank, Brandon makes an insensitive joke, english accents, armless people doing things, All Business Pete is a thief, Brandon's penis' voice, and straws!!!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. KB. Let's explain it. We have a gun. It looks like a radar gun to detect pitching speed, but it actually detects something much different. Okay, well, what is it, KB?

What possibly could be different? Well, you be the judge. Okay. I'm putting it up to regular gun dan's forehead or it could be anywhere on his body yeah i'm pressing in and seems like natural calibration like uh hold on something that you blow on it all right oh damn it's the pussy radar the pussy radar, and it went off when he pointed at him because he's a pussy. A P word.

Now, Kyle, we were going to flip it on you, and you did, and it didn't beep. And is that because you dip tobacco now? He's now getting very nervous. No. Why are you sweating? Why would that make me a pussy? You just sweat your snus out of your mouth. Oh, that would un-pussify me?

Un-pussify you. Yeah, you having a big old log in. And how much you eat pussy. Is that a horse in the mud? And how much you love to eat pussy. Yeah. We all know that 2020 is a little nuts, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't disregard your nuts,

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It's simple as that. What do you have to say to that? What are the three letters? Rewind 15 seconds because you probably skipped that, but you shouldn't have. Oh, wow. You gross motherfuckers. You need to hear this.

Yes, exactly. Gross British motherfuckers. People from the UK. They don't even know what we're talking about because they skipped past the ad. They shouldn't have. Yeah, MazeCade.com slash Yak. You're back. With a K.

With a K. Stinky ass nuts. This is the best of the Yak podcast. A podcast about a radio show. And Big Cat, are you worried about us shooting up the charts the fact that uh we're fucking uh we're flying up the charts why would i worry at an unsustainable rate why would i worry because it's it's a what how do we know we're not just a flash in the pan that's true yeah how do we know that we're we're here forever how do we know that we have a little bit of longevity?

Renewable energy. How are we going to do that? How are we going to renew our energy? I worry that we're almost like Icarus in those first two episodes. I fell asleep halfway through that movie. I didn't know it was a movie. Oh, isn't it about space travelers or something like that? No, the bikers who take, well, this is redundant, but the bikers who take steroids. You haven't seen that.

Is that not? Yes, it is Icarus. Yes, thank you. No, this is redundant, but the bikers who take steroids. You haven't seen that. Is that not? Yes, it is Icarus. Yes, thank you. No, this is the podcast. You can't do this to me on the podcast. Yeah, you can't. You can't. You can't do this to me on the radio.

It's Armstrong. It's Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Exactly. Oh, well, this is about Icarus of Greek myth. He flew too close to the sun, and that may be what we're doing. That's what Lance Armstrong did. That's what Lance Armstrong did.

It wasn't an unrelated title. You ever just think about the fact that his name's Lance? That's ridiculous. Why? It's just ridiculous. Lance. Like Lansing the Boyle? Like Lansing the Boyle or a medieval weapon.

Yeah, Sir Lancelot. He was destined to be... I lump Lance Armstrong in with Oscar Pistorius, and I don't know if that's fair, but I just think of them as... Both murderers. Yeah. Was he...

Did he murder... That's why I don't know if it's fair to Armstrong, because he didn't really necessarily kill anybody. A boy's hopes and dreams that he too could be a Tour de France champion. That was me. He killed biking by ruining those dreams. He kind of did.

NBC Sports has a class action lawsuit. And by men having one testicle, it lowers the average of testicles men have. Well, John Kruk did that first. Right. So the average man has less than two testicles. You think there's any guys with three balls, though, that kind of peter it out the other way? And I could talk about this for hours but um yeah i think there might be guys with three balls there's tribes in the indian ocean they put the try and try so they're

they're making up for all of the um there's no four ball that's like a four leaf clover it's like lucky to find a four the norbald aboriginal you find one you're worried you find the fourth that's actually the reason why the North Sentinel Island tribe, the one that you can't go there because they'll kill you. That one guy went, right? Yeah, they killed that missionary. Who else has been killing missionary Kyle when he's fucking women? Oh, nice.

Well, not without a healthy amount of foreplay. Not without a different part. Yeah, not golf. I don't mean golf at all. I mean that you are on your hands and knees. Honey, let me show you this Riggs man. No pussy licking needed. Are you turned on? He's about to shoot a six on this par three in South Carolina.

Turned on yet? Speaking of copious. I actually watch all of Riggs videos because I wish I could play golf. They're almost like ASMR. Yeah, like every time I see him on the timeline, I'm like, well, of course I'm going to watch Riggs play this hole. It's awesome.

Riggs also has a soothing voice, or he has an awesome voice. I just love his voice. It's like a rhythmic thing that he does. The broads, they go crazy for this Riggs man. No nipples sucking, no pussy crazy for this Riggs man. No, no nipples sucking,

no pussy blowing, none of that needed. Just come here and finish it off. Go ahead. I can't do that. I don't know what that voice is. Are we starting this soon?

The podcast? Okay, now let's start. Yeah, I guess we should. Okay. Three, two,

one. Balls. Speaking of balls, Glennie Balls was in our show on Friday. Oh, I saw this. Glennie Balls came in our show on Friday, and I think that we're going to be in the fucking money based on what Glennie Balls talked about on Friday. He talked about starting his own shirt line, but he came up with the idea and first spoke about it on the Yak time. Now, it seems like he was on the rundown this week. It seems like it's actually going to happen, that he's going to make money off of these.

We need to make sure that it's known that we were incubating balls and that he came up with that in our think tank. By the way, I love that Balls came up with Balls Beachwear, unironically, BBW. He didn't even consider that. He didn't even consider it. But he could also call it Beach Balls Wear, which is better. Yeah. But then, is it a shirt for your beach ball?

That's the thing. That's confusing. No, it's for sure for guys shaped like beach balls. Yeah. Also skinny guys. And also skinny guys. Yeah, deflated beach balls. Everybody's shaped like like beach balls. Yeah. Also skinny guys. And also skinny guys. Yeah, deflated beach balls. Everybody's shaped like a beach ball.

Glennie Balls didn't want to name it Glennie Balls. He didn't want the shirts to be named Glennie Balls when he came on the show on Friday. When he was talking about it on the rundown this week, he was calling the shirt a Glennie Balls. We came up with that on the yak. This is our brainchild. We need to protect this. I guess were none of you guys here for this show? Nope.

No, we weren't. I was. You just. Fuck. It's yours. Damn. I was trying to loop everyone in. Fuck.

I watch everything that Glennie Balls is part of. Yeah. You know what? You are a super supportive coworker. You watch everything Riggs does. You watch everything Glennie Balls does. I once watched the Buckle Podcast.

What is it called? A New Untold Story. He tried them out one time. They're actually bad. Shit. I didn't even realize you're right in here. I didn't realize you're right next to me. With long ass straws. You guys weren't here for it, but if you want to... Oh, he's got the pussy gun. He's got the gun. He's got the radar.

Don't press it. Hands up. Don't shoot. gun. He's got the radar. Don't press it. Hands up. Don't shoot. I don't want to press this. You're a bitch. Let's get into this Glennie Balls clip. Glennie Balls was walking by. Glennie Balls is wearing flip-flops, basketball shorts,

and a hoodie and the Blowfish sleeveless top, like a tank top. He's dressed like it's July 4th. You're leaving early for Memorial Day weekend. You got a problem with that. I don't have a problem with it at all. It's never too cold to wear a hoodie tape. It's the flip-flops. It's October 10th.

Glennie is in a leisure. He's in full Jimmy Buffett lifestyle. But as he came in, as we just pointed out what he was wearing, as if he didn't know, obviously, you know what you're wearing. But Glennie said that he wants to start off a lifestyle brand. And I mean, what better place to pitch that shit than right here on the app? Start one. You are one. You are one.

You've said that. I am a brand. I remember seeing the quote from Deke. So I would like to start a lifestyle brand at Barstool Sports. Maybe talk to Welker. Get some attire going. Some clothing called Summer is a Mindset. Nope.

You're already overthinking it. It should be Glenny Balls. I think it's called Glenny Balls. No, he's right, dude. That could be a sub-tech. I'm overthinking it. That could be a sub-tech. That could be one shirt.

I like the model like Summer is a Mindset. No, no, no. Glenny Balls is the entire brand. Balls. I want to do Hawaiian shirts that you could wear out. This is where you're wrong. This is where you're wrong. You already are a brand.

You ain't got to start nothing. Glenny Balls is a brand. Tommy Bahama. Tommy Bahama didn't fucking go to some brand manager and say, I want to have a nice phrase that I could put on my Tommy Bahamas. His name was Tommy Bahama. Dr. Pepper. Dr. Pepper was a fucking learned doctor, and he said, I want to start making fizzy sodas with 23 flavors.

I mean, theoretically, that's my dream for life is like in 30 years, maybe somebody will be like, oh, that's a nice Clint E. Ballgey got on there, and it's a Hawaiian shirt. Yes, yes. I just want to make my own Hawaiian shirt. Yes, yes. I want to make Hawaiian shirts that you could wear to a party and not get looked at weird in February. But they're not going to say that's a nice summerism mindset. That sounds like a women's boutique or something like that. Nothing wrong with that. I think it's a great phrase. Summer's a mindset, not a season. I think that's a great phraseism mindset. That sounds like a women's boutique or something like that. Nothing wrong with that.

Summer's a mindset, not a season. I think that's a great phrase. It's a good phrase, but it can't be the name of the brand. Yeah, put it on a tote bag. I'll fucking buy that's the line. The name of the brand can't be Glenny Balls. Just Balls. I like Caleb. Listen to Caleb. Has Caleb ever led you down the wrong path? That's true. I have. You have?

How? Not even. You really haven't. Actually, we haven't been down any paths together. No, I feel like we haven't been down a path. Exactly. The Balls line. I would like a line. The Balls line, but it costs like $400 for every- For a Hawaiian shirt?

Yes, or $450. You're making a formal- I buy my Hawaiian shirts at Kohl's. I'm not charging you $400 for a Hawaiian shirt. But I mean, you have to do some kind of- I mean, they can't just be like $20 Hawaiian shirts. They're just like- See, at the end of this, we don't need to look at them20 Hawaiian shirts but they were just like at the end of this

we don't need to look at them as Hawaiian shirts we need to look at them as balls shirts because summer's a mindset that's like the mantra of the company that's your attitude

it's the attitude that's the by the common man for the common man I would wear a balls shirt that used to be a Hawaiian shirt like oh that's a great balls yeah

that's a nice tie to Bahama that's a great balls that guy's got some balls on it that's a great balls that ball's on your chest I like that but I think that there's like I want some balls on my chest any's great balls. That ball's on your chest. I like that. But I think that there's like, it doesn't.

I want some balls on my chest. I need balls on my chest. Any kind of printed shirt all over, buttoned down. Like, it doesn't have to only be like flowers. There's other types of Hawaiian shirts. Absolutely. That you should be venturing into. I think it could be anything.

Hawaiian shirts don't need to be flowers by any means. They could, I would like to do barstool oriented Hawaiian shirts. I would like to do everything. Ball shirts. Winter themed Hawaiian shirts. What? Well, that everything. Ball shirts. Winter themed Hawaiian shirts. What? Well, that kind of defeats the summer as a mindset. No, no, no.

That affirms it. Because you're wearing the summer clothes. You want a winter themed summer shirt. Yeah, like a Hawaiian with snowflakes. Oh, yeah. Like Frosty the Snowman. This is it. This is it.

This is what balls. This is the differentiator. You start making jackets that are like Hawaiian shirts. Oh, I don't like that. Short sleeve jacket button-ups. No, for the other guys, though. Or is that the brand idea that it's only stuff that Glennie Balls would wear? Yeah.

I mean, it's the Balls brand. Yeah. Fieri doesn't make food that he wouldn't pop into his own gullet. Exactly. This is the Balls brand. We're shirtty Hawaiian shirts and tank tops. Hawaiian shirts and tank tops. Okay.

I would love to make a Hawaiian shirt with just all my favorite things on it you know like make a caricature of all my favorite things and just have all right what would be your three favorite things on that shirt have like a picture of billy joel like the sopranos logo and like hootie and the blowfish i think branding might be like a hawaiian shirt wait that's one shirt and not even three not even one shirt that says Soprano, Soprano, Soprano, Soprano? No, no, I want it all. There's got to be a lot of people out there wanting a Billy Joel Soprano. I bet there's more than you think. And what was the third one? Hootie the

Blowfish. Hootie the Blowfish. It's such a claustrophobic shirt. It's a licensing nightmare. But I want it cartoonized almost. I think the cartoon vibe is great. Why not make three shirts? One for Hootie, one for Sopranos, one for Billy Joel.y joe i want to support metal soprano but i also want to support terry's rucker it's all paining anyone's actually this is this is what the balls brand does we friggin make hawaiian shirts cater to what i like i was i was with you until you wanted to put

everything you like on one shirt that was just one idea but that's like being like all my favorite foods are hot dogs cake cake, and fucking pizza. And I'm going to eat them in one bite. That could have been the ball special. You don't have to buy that one. There's a lot of shirts out there. To cover the licensing that you're going to have to pay for, they're going to need to buy it. That may be a problem. But I do really like the winter themed one.

I think that's a great idea. Santa Claus all over a shirt. A set of Hawaiian shirts. That's a great idea. That's fire. That is fire. But you're Santa. But it's a Hawaiian shirt. That's a great idea. That's fire. That is fire. But you're Santa. But I could be Santa. But see, it can't be.

That's the thing about Hawaiian shirts. It can't be like a clear photo of Santa or me. I need to be like a drawing of Santa, like a painting of Santa. That's what we're going to have to do with the Sopranos. And I think that's better. Like a painting of them looks cooler. Like it could be Santa, reindeer, the carriage. Yeah. The carriage.

It's a fucking carriage. I don't want to sound too white girl right now, a reindeer, the carriage. Yeah. The carriage. It's a fucking carriage. I don't want to sound too white girl right now, but it's a vibe. That shirt, it's a vibe. I don't think Santa was in a carriage. The problem with that shirt is it's like- We could do a Halloween one. We got Halloween coming up right now. You know how great a Halloween one would be?

Pumpkins. And ghosts. How does he come up with that? Pumpkins, ghosts, that candy, the orange and white candy. What would we have for an Easter one? What would we do if it was Easter? Yeah, Jesus. What?

Eggs. I have always wanted a Jesus-themed Hawaiian shirt. But say Thanksgiving rolls around. Just wavy crosses all over? Turkeys, pilgrims. Okay, I'm listening. You can make one for every holiday, every vibe. Like Secretary's Day or...

I mean, could you imagine the potential on President's Day? All the presidents? That's 45 guys. Yeah, 45 great caricatures of presidents. Statute of limitations, though. What if it's only the dead presidents? Or everyone whose statute of limitations has pressed? Or because it is the ball's bread, I could pick my top five favorite presidents.

Rutherford Hayes all over his shirt. I'm a big, what's his face? Who's the fat guy? Taft. I'm a Taft guy. I like Taft. Why fat guy? Taft. I'm a Taft guy. I like Taft. Why? Because he's fat.

There's a huge demand for Taft merchandise. You got stuck in a bathtub. You could have a bunch of bathtubs all over. That's a claim to fame. So are these going to be, could they be suited for a guy like Vibs? Absolutely. Like, are they only for, what sizes do they come in? I do think that we do need some larger sizes in the Barstool Sports Store.

I've gotten a few DMs about that. Yeah. But no, we're a full-on all sizes brand s to triple x maybe a little higher i don't even think we started s quad x no i started l i personally that's what he's saying so that that then that would exclude vibs so that's my question was would a guy like vibs be able to fit into a glenny balls of course i'm personally a two three but i would like to go up to four just to have it for the larger men i could see like the rap community adopting this and becoming a really trendy thing big time yeah like we can't we can't fuck up how cool this is going to be i

just need the support behind i need you guys to support yeah balls rhymes with everything yeah like oh that that's a great balls you have on and it's the and it's the halloween hawaiian i'm mad at you. The Halloween. Your balls look incredible. The Halloween. You get someone a set of balls. We may be a little too late on the Hawaiian shirt for Halloween, but we're coming hot.

Subscription service. Subscription service. Hawaiian of the month. Come on. Hawaiian shirt of the month. I don't think you give away a Hawaiian. No, no. Shane Victorino pops up in your fucking inbox.

To a tongue of Iloa. Yeah, it's just there. Oh, this is Tali. I didn't want him. Colt Brennan. I just want to make Hawaiian shirts. That's all I want to do. I want that for you.

And I want it to be socially acceptable to be walking around Manhattan in flip-flops and shorts and a tank top on October 9th. I think you've already done that. Let's get, fuck, I mean, Welker, Allison, I don't know who, how we need to put up the bat signal, the ball signal. It's up in the air right now, though. Whoever's doing the clips for this, can we clip this and put it on the Twitter? Contact Balls.

Yeah. Or contact all of us. Why not Barstool Sports? Because this is obviously an idea that we've all came up with together. Yes. So it would at least be a 10-10. 25-25. 25-25-25.

Yeah. Well, let's give balls 30. We'll give them 30. I would take 40. Okay, so 40-20-20-20. That's fine. I like that. It's all going to Barstool Sports anyway, so I don't really care.

Take what you want. No, no. 40-20-20-20. Yeah. This is just the ball's line at Barstool Sports. This is maybe our way out. Maybe this is how we branch out. Right.

This is what's going to put us in the next strategy. You can get Barstool 20, but you've got to take 20 of your 40 and give it to them. So we go 20s across the board. We're all going to make money. We're all going to get rich off of us. Barstool gets money, but it's out of your share. Damn, you weren't fucking kidding. You weren't jerking me around. I wish I were there. Thank

you. Did it live up to the expectations that I said? I don't know yet. I think that it did. I'm pretty positive that it did. It didn't come up long or it didn't come up short. Yeah. It didn't come up short. But Glennie is short. And on Monday, we

talked about shorts when you had a very specific idea of what men should wear at what times. You tell us why it's bad and you tell us what you thought about it. Well, I was off initially. I said shorts, low 70s, eh, but that's wrong.

Do you think that you're off just because people, there was backlash? Is there maybe a part of you that wants to stick with your take about this? There are certain things, and maybe we can go around and you can share it, where you know you have a bad take, but you mentally can't get over it.

You know what I mean? Yeah yeah i thought i was that way i thought i wasn't brave enough to wear shorts but but you have anything that you've thought and you know back of your head you're like yeah so yeah women's right to vote yeah that was mine that i was just i'm very much against it but like the proof is in the pudding they should be able to it would just be hard to word that on Twitter. There is a way. There has to be a long term word for it. My short stakes are terrible. No, but it's a personal thing.

Honestly, Nick can't wear shorts because he went away this week. We saw his calves, and that's why I wear high socks. We've talked about that before because my ankles are weak. I exclusively wear wool socks always to prevent my ankles from looking thin. What do you call them? Wool socks. Woolen. Wool.

Wool. I say more like wool. Like wool. Yeah, wool. Wool. We're saying the same word. You're saying wool. Wool.

So that's your thing. You think that it's pronounced wool, but it's not. Yeah, that's your bad take. What am I doing wrong here? Wool. Wool. Ah. Wool.

Now KB set him straight. We're talking about his calves. Yes, he has thin calves. They're shaped like cigarettes. Yeah. Virginia Slim. Virginia Slim. Virginia Slim. They couldn't feed a village of worms.

Of worms. We'll get to worms when we start talking about Thursday. But my take is terrible. Yeah, let's get into the shorts. It's terrible. It's terrible. All right, Zach, go ahead, Zach in New York. People are very mad at me for this take.

I'm not mad at you, Dan. I'm not mad at you. I am just struggling to understand in what world someone who wears shorts in low 70 degree weather is a weird shorts guy. Okay. I agree with him. Yes. That's perfect shorts weather. I'll explain myself a little better.

The shorts crew gets very upset. Very upset. You see Captain Collins was just cartwheeling down the hallway in some fucking short shorts, some boy shorts. I think his cheeks were hanging out. Fucking in some American flag shorts that showed his butt cheeks. I have a long standing like shorts people get very upset. But I think you were off on the degrees here. All right.

So I'll look at this as a man. I will concede and refuse my right to recede the 70s portion of that. You're going back to 60s and 50s, 60s and 50s. I was off on 70s. That's absolutely right. I also need to clarify. I actually have no problem with people wearing shorts outside of like work. Yeah, I do feel uncomfortable.

And I've had this take before, and I've had backlash because Barstool's not a real job. I do think it's weird when it's October and you show up to Barstool in shorts and you meet people and you're wearing shorts. I always feel silly when I'm meeting people in a business setting with shorts on. That might be very antiquated of me. Yeah, I wear shorts every day, and I'm wearing them right now. Caleb's wearing some shorts right now yeah but but but go on

but you you meet people at a higher level than a lot of people here that may be true but it's also a person like caleb looks cool in shorts maybe it's just a me maybe it's just a me personally i feel weird you're self-conscious about your no i think it's when i'm wearing shorts and i'm'm doing an interview. I don't even know if I've ever seen your knees. Do you have knees? See them knees, boy. Hey, boy.

Hey, boy, let me see them knees. Let me see them knees. What kind of knees are you wearing with, fella? I don't have legs. Just two straight, jointless legs. Yeah, I guess I have a hang-up on shorts, so I will be the bigger man and concede that I was wrong on that except I do think it is I think men in their 30s plus wearing shorts in like any type of uh work setting is weird wearing shorts is one of my favorite things to do in life I won't do it when it gets cold you look like a big goof it's fine I feel good though I like to feel good I don't I'm wearing jeans now I don't respect you as a man cold. You look like a big goof. It's fine. I feel good, though. I like to feel good.

I'm wearing jeans now. I don't respect you as a man when you're wearing shorts. That's your fault. Yeah. But other people might be thinking that. Let them think it. Like, suck my dick. It's tough because it really exposes your legs.

If you have extraordinary legs, it's probably fucking fantastic. If you just have Saquon Barkley quads, you probably want to show off your thigh. It's cleavage on a woman or something like that. You're putting your best meat forward. Murray Jones drew. But some people, like Tyson Chandler, maybe shorts are the worst thing that ever happened to them. I got a bunch of bad body parts. They're most above the belt.

My legs are terrific. You got a bunch of bad body parts. They're most above the belt. But... My legs are terrific. So I like to have the shiny knees. You're a leggy blonde. Yeah. Again, I'll concede. I was definitely wrong about the temperature. Well, don't recede. I'm not going to recede.

Yeah, I think wearing shorts like on the weekends, by a beach... Do it on your own time. Don't do it in front of me. Don't do it in front of me. Bring that shit to my house. Thighs. I know people that are like repulsed by it.

It's nails on a chalkboard to them seeing like another man's thighs. I'm not repulsed by it. I just think I don't. I think other people and I could be very, very wrong. I think other people take you less serious in like a business setting when you're wearing shorts. Definitely in a business setting when you're wearing definitely in a business setting if you're walking into fucking uh well a board meeting trying to get a fat loan in some fucking umbro shorts it's probably not gonna work out great for you that's

where i'm that's where i'm never gonna wear shorts you'll never see me in shorts fucking not even umbros maybe i'm some soccer shorts yeah shorts people get very upset because i also blackman's about the well i also feel like pft's a big shorts guy pft's always in shorts he is always in shorts so is hank they're big shorts guys i also forget that we work i wear jeans every day so i think shorts are not as much of a treat when you can wear jeans every day. Like for people who have to wear suits, shorts are, that's the best thing in the world. Yeah, but jeans are the gateway drug to shorts. If I see everybody wearing jeans, I can wear shorts to work.

So I guess then I stop at weed. I don't go to heroin. I love the heroin. Yeah. I love leg heroin. Yeah. Go ahead, Steven. If you fucking say anything about this Vikings.

This is a shorts related question. Full shorts. How do you feel about being short on that fourth time? Everybody has that one friend that goes to the strip club in basketball shorts. What are your thoughts on that person? This guy's just trying to get his fuck on. I don't have that friend. I don't know if I do either.

You are that guy probably. I don't go out. If we're going on. I don't have that friend. I don't know if I do either. You are that guy probably. I don't go out. If we're going out, I don't wear shorts. Yes. Going to a bar, unless it's a beach bar. Yeah. I feel weird. I feel weird.

But I can come to Barstool in shorts once a week. Day drinking shorts. Going out for a night. Jeans. Jeans. Going out to dinner. What if you're being a little preppy? What if you got your little preppy outfit on?

You're wearing a little collared shirt. You're a little Lacoste polo with some shorts. I also want to clarify that I am very much a live and let live guy. So you should do whatever you want. I'll judge, but it's silent. You'll have less respect for them. Right. But it's silent judging.

Break soon. Yeah. It's silent judging. But I do think, unless you're the, there are now specifically short guys, shorts guys who wear shorts in the middle of winter, that, can we all agree, is just ridiculous? Shorts are having their day. I mean, shorts are just in their prime right now.

So you're never going to see more people defending shorts. Oh, you think so? Oh, my God. Well, we're about to lose shorts because it is about to be winter. We're trying to squeeze all the shorts we can out of the show. passionate about shorts right now you just caught us at a bad time it's an emotional time but there are people we used to call them hammers like a dude who will just wear like shorts in the middle of the winter like you're a fucking hammer dude you just fucking are trudging around in shorts like trying to be like a tough guy when everybody else is fucking

freezing right that's it you're a hammer yes and. And that's it. Glenny Ball is a hammer. Yes. Well, he's a funny hammer. No, I just want to nail him. He's fucking different, dude. Glenny Ball is just, if your body temperature, big guys is a whole different story, I think. If your body temperature doesn't get, like, if you're warm in the wintertime, you wear whatever the fuck you want. Throw on the Hawaiian. Yeah.

Throw on the Glenny Ball. I also just have great jeans. Mugsy jeans. Yes. I've been really loving my jeans. That is true. Those are my jeans. I've been falling in love Hawaiian. Yeah. Throw in the Glenny Ball. I also just have great jeans, Muggsy jeans. Yes. I've been really loving my jeans. That is true. I've been falling in love with my jeans. Ugh.

Yeah. Ugh, fuck you, Dan. How dare you think differently than other people in this show? How dare you come up with your own opinion and that it be so ill-formed? What gives you the goddamn right? I would have got i would have been uh great and like uh pure in america yeah it's like no no one shows any skin ever but there was also an era where your calf was like your your sign of opulence or your sign of

strength people would put their calf forward you'll see old portraits of men with their calf forward and that would have been a terrible time for you. What if I just started practicing Sharia law? Right in everyone's face. Yes. We should try it. We should give it a try. That would have been your own weekend.

Just build your way up to it. You'll start with our calves not being able to be shown and then we'll work our way up to our forearms and eventually our lower face. Ron will get real excited because we told him we're we're getting stoned on air today it's like no not quite buddy all different kind of tomato you can get that where where it's cool for men to hold hands but if you do it with a woman they're gonna kill you good ass Good ass laws. Real strong laws.

Kyle, do you happen to know how many Uyghur Muslims there are in the world today? How many what? Uyghurs? What? You don't know about Uyghurs? The tribe in China? You're thinking of the Shiites. No, I'm thinking of Uyghurs.

Say it again. Uyghurs? You don't know what I'm talking about of Uyghurs. Say it again. Uyghurs? You don't know what I'm talking about? Uyghurs? No. There's 12 million of them anyway. Okay. Jews that were around during the Holocaust. Oh, damn.

Persecuted. I think a Jared Goff story this week. Oh, really fun Jared Goff story this week. This is the highlight of the act. Well, no, actually, Roan is the MVP of the act this week. Definitely. Yeah, no, because I think we also have the Pete story coming up. And this is those back to back or highlight MVP.

The this is an alley-oop from Caleb. A guy on the Washington football team wanted to reach out to Jared Goff because Washington was playing against the L.A. Rams. So he hit up Mitch Trubisky. Mitch was like, no, I'm not giving you this dude's number. And then he hit up Caleb, and Caleb's like, no, I'm not giving you this dude's number. And he's like, please, just give me Jared Goff's number. And so Caleb gave this guy on

the Washington football team my number, and the entire week I was texting this guy as Jared Goff being like dude I'm gonna fuck your mom no he actually I read the text messages he said I'm going to fuck your mom

I said this flat out to this guy now we should play it but you guys gotta listen to it because it is it's like again Rone had like two top ten moments this week of the act history I'm gonna let you play the clip and I'm going to let you guys read through this. We'll talk about it right after the fact. Roan did something hilarious to one of my friends last week.

We got into a prank war with Roan. Oh, jeez. That's the last person you want to be in a prank war with. I was like a weapon, though. So one of my boys is for the Washington football team. He's a linebacker. And he texted me and he said, dude, can you give me Jared Goff's number? Because they played against the Rams this weekend.

And immediately, I don't trust his friend as far as I could throw him. And so I was like, why? What do you need it for? And he's like, you know, I just wanted to see what they're up to this week and what plays they're running, that type of thing. Like, not the type of guy. He doesn't know Jared and not the type of guy that I would give that number to. So instead I text Roan and I said, Roan, I'm about to give this guy your number and he's

going to think you're Jared Goff. So all week I was texting this guy as Jared Goff, just talking so much shit to him. Wait, did you tell him some plays? No, I was like, fucking, I gotta I got to yell at somebody for giving up my number because I don't talk to special teamers like you. You should have been like, hey, just a heads up. We're way better than you. That's what I would say.

I want to give you a heads up, like, first play, play action bomb. Be ready. But the funniest part was Roan. So Roan, I won't go into specifics because Roan, I gave him permission to just eviscerate this guy's entire existence. So you can imagine with his rap battle brain what he was able to come up with. But there was a one part of the conversation where Roan really got in his ass. Really?

And then his rebuttal was not good. Like my friend Cole's rebuttal was not it was not a good rebuttal and so eventually my friend texted all our huge uh group chat with all the guys telling us what was going on with him and Jared he's like yo Jared is like roasting me he sent all the screenshots but he uh didn't include that one portion of the conversation which Roan had showed me on the side so I knew existed he cut out he clipped out that part of the conversation and didn't send it to our voice. Of his reply? Of him getting roasted and then his reply to it. He knew he lost that portion

of the conversation. He conceded that part so he didn't even include it when he showed it to us. So when did you tell him that it was wrong? I texted him right before game time because I was worried about Jared's safety. Because he was like I'm going to knock your fucking head off after some of the shit I was saying to him. he was like, because he was like, I'm going to knock your fucking head off after some of the

shit I was saying to him. I was like, I was saying some really fucked up shit to him. Did he see it in time? Yeah, but he didn't believe it. He's like, no, that's no way that's not Jared. I've been talking to him all week. That's so fucked up that you did that to him right before game time. He probably

was so twisted. Yeah. But at the same time, it's like, I was going to talk to him as Jared and be like probably was so twisted yeah but at the same time it's like i was gonna talk to him as jared and be like meet me in the fucking tunnel pussy i was literally worried that he was gonna like hit jared after a play or something yeah like text him at halftime being like good halftime not right or like come let's meet up yeah let's meet up in the fucking locker room and fucking settle this shit once and for all. I was sending him like cartoons of like what he looked like. I was like fucking using ad hominem attacks. Just some of my best fucking just great insults towards him.

Just like told him his eyes are on both sides of his head. He's like the first football player to ever look out of his ear holes or something. I was sending him pictures from Shark Tale of Hammerhead Shark. I was just being, and that wasn't even the meanest stuff that I was saying to him. I was in his ass all week. He was coming at me. It was just a great prank.

Caleb just gave me an alley-oop. Caleb was telling me personal stuff to say about this guy. Did your friends know? No. Answer what they say. They all think that Jared Goff is a savage. A creative savage. Did you ever tell Jared?

No. It's the first anyone's hearing about it right now. It's the first that's coming out really right now, except for Caleb trying to tell him right before the game. It was a prank. I didn't know if we were ever even going to really talk about it. We can't release the transcripts, unfortunately, because it got

the levels were too high. That's incredible. Still funny. A lot of good fun. All in good fun. You got to tell Jared and let us know what he says. Yeah, I do need to tell Jared. And thank God their teams are not allowed to talk to each other after the game because of coronavirus. Because it would have been a Golden Tate jail.

Say that shit you were saying before. Imagine there's a brawl and it was all because you guys. It was like, why did a brawl start? Jared knocks him out. Oh, God. Fuck. That's incredible. So we were just dying laughing all fucking week and weekend as we're orchestrating this.

Just probably like detracting so much of his energy from preparing for the football game. Yeah, for sure. It didn't help him. And then to drop it right before being like, hey, you've been part of an elaborate ruse. And he tried to FaceTime me. I didn't answer the FaceTime. Oh my God. You're so mean.

I was in a movie. Holy fucking shit. Incredible. I read the text exchange. Incredible. And can we say any of the lines from it? None of them. You could say I compared him to...

Well, you did say you were going to fuck his mom. You said the last text. Can I say the first person in the NFL to ever look out of his ear holes? Yeah, I did say that too. You sent a picture of the shark tail fish and said, this is you. I don't think Jared. So does this guy still think that that was Jared? Caleb said that he tried to tell him, but he didn't believe it.

So Caleb, it's in this clip, but Caleb told him right before they took the field. Because he's like, I don't want them to get in a fight. Yeah. That would be the funniest fight ever. Could you imagine how much that must have fucked up his friend before the game? A ton. To be like, you've been catfished all week? And then the Rams went out and smacked him.

Smacked him. Exactly. Because he was probably like in his head the entire time. Like, damn, this guy just didn't fuck with mom. He was making sure he didn't look out the ear holes of his helmet. Yeah. So you said, I'm going to fuck your mom. And that was it.

And then you didn't respond to that? That was it. Well, I think that was on either game day or like 10 o'clock the night before the game. Incredible. Yeah. So just a small prank, just among friends. It really kept me afloat this weekend. That's some KB shit.

That's some KB shit. Except I never get the opportunity to talk to NFL players. They're always just... You do cower every time that Willie Colon walks by. Nah. I mean, he can keep it a buck if I'll keep it a buck. It's all love. It's all love.

For real? No one takes care of his own like Willie. That's true. Facts. Everyone knows that. Big facts. But I only was able to do that through the alley-oop of Caleb. And Caleb really deserves some co-MVP votes for putting that in my hand, for letting me run wild with that.

What's the next clip? Is it the Pete thing? The next clip is Caleb shooting. So I was just trying to lead us into Caleb talking about how he and Hank went hunting. Oh, yeah. Hank killed a deer. And we found a, we talked a little bit about a famous Supreme Court case. You know who's good at shooting guns?

Caleb. True. You good at shooting guns, Caleb? Remember when we ski shot and you hit like your first like five shots? That's true. That is true. You did do that. One time me and Hank, we were going out to kill some animals in hunting.

I remember this. And Hank killed one. And I killed one. And I felt bad because I shot it. I thought I killed it. And then I felt really bad about it. And it turns out I missed. Yeah.

You just maimed it. So it's slowly. You ruined it slightly. No, I never found it. It was like a big weight off my shoulders. But Hank did actually murder his animal. I think it was a female deer. A doe.

A doe. It might have been a male but if it was it was underdeveloped. It was a fucking bitch. It was a baby. You couldn't really tell. A bambi. Hank performed. It was a baby. It was a baby. You couldn't really tell. A Bambi, you know. Hank performed an abortion on a deer.

Dovee. You guys, what the hell are you doing? No, no, just finish it. Finish your own tackles. Finish this. I gave it to you. I wrapped it up. You wanted to implicate other people. Just say it. No, no one's saying it. Finish your own tackles. Don't fucking grow. Finish this. I gave it to you. I wrapped it up. You wanted to implicate other people.

Just say it. No, no one's saying it. Brandon, this is for you. I'm not fucking saying it. Do it, Brandon. I'm not fucking saying it. Say it. Come on, boys.

No, that's his joke. Dude, we're a team here. That was a collaborative effort. Do it, Brandon. No. Come on. I don't want to. The show won't go on.

We're going to quit the show. We're going to quit the show. We're going to quit the show until Brandon says it. Why did it come on me? He said it. Who performed an abortion on a deer? That's not allowed, is it? Doe v. Wade. Brandon, you're a savage.

Quick as a whip, this one. Yeah, holy fuck. That was hell of a pun. Damn, man. Let's fucking... I appreciate your bravery comedically. That's comedic bravery. You went for it.

You went for it. You said, I don't care if I get canceled for this shit. Are you a milk brother? He just went full send, bro. Merch drop. Okay. Yeah, so that's Brandon ruining your Doe v. Wade. No one's going to be able to come up.

I think Brandon said Doe v. Blade, which isn't that much better. It's not better at all. It's worse almost. That's why we sat him out for this. That's why we threw him on a little bit of time out, a little bit of a hiatus. And we had to sit down, Brandon, and say, you know what? Kick rocks. We're going to take care

of business while you throw out Doe V. Blade. Shit. Come on. Doe V. Blade? And we try so hard to fucking build that guy up. We have meetings about our meetings with him just trying to fucking put the battery in his back. Yeah, people think like, oh, the Yak, they just go in, they just shoot the shit, they don't prep.

We prep nonstop. The prep is just how do we make Brandon look good? Yeah. And then it always fails. On a platter. We're trying to put him on there. We really try to make ourselves look as stupid, unfunny, and as bad as possible. Yeah.

And wait till you get to that freaking Thursday show. We really push the limits of it. We definitely push the limits of it in a massive way. But on Wednesday, before we get to all that, KB, you had something interesting on. Today, you're dressed very cool but on Wednesday you were dressed a little bit different today you're wearing no jumper but at the time

you were very much wearing a jumper are you low key becoming a hype beast no low key about it high key KB has been spending his disposable income I'm trying to see if I were the IRS, I'd be in your ass, KB, because you've been spending

fucking money. You like my blouse? I love your blouse. I love your sweatpants. I liked your jumper the other day. It wasn't a jumper. I wouldn't be shocked. The southern hemisphere of the hoodie was just the same hue as my sweatpants, not a jumper. Imagine if KB next week was

like, hey guys, I just found this new thing, credit cards. Oh no. It's cool, you can just buy whatever you want. No Irish cream article of clothing will be safe. Italian cream. Italian cream. Is that really what it is? You do like an off-white.

It's bile white. It's either credit cards or your grandmother died. It's one of the two that's got you buying all this primer colored clothing. Falling into some cash. Yeah. Why the fuck are you dressing? I gainered into some. What?

Why are you dressing? Why? You're just mad I'm not wearing your shit. I wish. It would get you off. Homies are dressed. I'm dressed right now. You are.

Not like you got though, Kyle. Dan, we never talked about that on this podcast. Dressing. Why don't you explain what dressing is to the people? Nick, that's your fetish, right? Take a step by step. Nick invented a fetish, and I think there's a population of about five or six now. We're growing.

Yeah, it's just when you're a... You like seeing your homie in your clothes. Right. And you like seeing him be successful with women in your clothes. And that makes you want to you get off on him fucking in your clothes similar satisfaction of like showing someone a new song and then them

playing it at a party except this one has a sexual element there's a little bit of a connotation a sexual connotation to that, Nick. And Nick, you've been dressing. Yeah.

I've been dressing. I've been trying to dress you boys. Hasn't worked yet. It's been spilling. Why do you think I wear XL, Dan? It's true. We also found out with my pile, I'm essentially like the king pimp of dressers. Yeah, you're a little slut.

I love to dress people. I've heard that this is how kinks can grow, though. This is how multiple people get into the same fetish. It starts off by hearing something crazy that you start to joke about, but then your brain doesn't know that you joking about that fetish, that it is a joke,

and so you actually start getting turned on by it. You just described KB's entire personality. Yeah, his brain has no idea. His frontal lobe is doing irony. The cortex has no idea. I actually do love Monster Energy. I was there the first day. It was like state capitals. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, losers. Let's get into this jumper clip. KB's in a sick jumper. Not a fucking jumper. Your mic's not on. It is. Not a fucking jumper.

Sweatpants and a hoodie. I think it's a jumper and it looks cool. Don't they call a hoodie a jumper in England? Brush. A jumper. A jumper, mate. No jumper. Remember when Adam 22

talked to the sluts? What were they thinking? He wasn't wearing a jumper. Fucking metal. Brandon. Give us a little British, Brandon. Maybe you do Liverpool

They talk like everything's a question That was incredible I was like, holy shit Give it to us, Brandon Do we have Paul McCartney on the show? Talk to us, Brandon Come on, Brandon Give us a little

The Beatles I can't do it Say what you're saying Obviously a man's gonna get Gonna go yard for a Mackey's ting The home of the Beatles. The Beatles. I can't do it. Say what you're saying. I'll cum in your ass. Obviously, a man's going to go yard for a Mackey's ting. What is that? I used to do these tweets. I would say.

Yeah, no, I remember them. They were incredible. One guy was like, what you saying? Obviously, man's going to go quay for a Mackey's ting. And everybody knows that. What else? Everything just means cigarette. Yeah.

It's cigarette or hanging out with other men. Other men. Yeah. That's pretty much the only thing. That sounds awesome. Watching soccer with dudes or cigarettes. I thought Macca's was McDonald's. Macca's was McDonald's.

Yeah. Something about going yacht. I forget. But yard is like if you're like a yard man, that's like your home. Typical yard man. But also road man. You're on the road. If you're like a yard man, that's like your home. Typical yard man. But also road man. If you're on road. And that was the jumper clip.

We talked a little bit in funny accents, which is some of our best shit. Just a funny ass accent. Ron, do Jamaican. Sure will. There it is. Would you do a Chinese man? Yeah, you're always doing it. You're always doing it.

Who was raised in Italy? An Italian Chinese? Yeah. That was it. Very nice stuff. He's actually a mute. That was his sign language. I'm going to do a pygmy.

I am a pygmy. I'm a very pygmy man. A pygmy would never say that.'t do pygmy I am a pygmy I'm a very pygmy man a pygmy would never say that what is pygmy what's a pygmy I thought a pygmy was small they're the the Simon Birch sized boys

oh I think the women are regular heights huh that's crazy have you noticed that the kids on Little People Big World

on TLC have all grown are all grown up now? Well, they're not grown up. They're older. They're older is what I should have said. My, my, how you've gotten older. What do you think the kids for John and Kate plus eight?

Like, they got to be. Aiden, my favorite one, the bespectacled boy, doesn't talk to his mom anymore. Really? How old is he? I think he's like 12, 13. No, he's got to be older than that. What about the first two? They're 16, 17, I think.

Really? How have you been keeping tabs on them? I like to follow. What a terrible thing to have the conscious like, oh, our entire lives were spent on reality television. Our entire childhood. Yes, and now mommy and Daddy hate each other. Yeah, and themselves.

Daddy's now DJing at Chili's on weekends. Yeah, Daddy wears cargo shorts, unironically. Yeah, but Daddy also has to bartend at Chili's and he's just running back and forth. He has to stock the bar during these trying times at Chili's instead. But what if a Chili's bartender got four out of five beers correct that he had ordered?

What if that happened? A damn good bartender. Are you talking about 80%? Yeah, I'm saying 80%. Or what if a Chili's waitress gave four out of the five appetizers that she brought out to the correct people? Let's be realistic here. That's a 30% tip. At least from a guy like me.

Well, you're a man of means. An upper class, gout stricken man like Dan would maybe give 50. You have a credit card now. Yeah, exactly. We see what's going on there. I see that smile, credit card boy. Future you will take care of this one. And, well.

Oh, yeah. Maybe I am chased up. Oh. Oh. Well, well maybe from the face up maybe you've been using that's not that long that's not that cut that's not that much of an area i know i know i know from the ankle brace that's the real chased up from the ankle brace up very nice yes that's the uh zip recruiter is actually what i'm talking about, though, a far different entity and actually a better entity. And now when you're hiring, you can play at that four out of five Chili's bartender slash DJ level because four out of five employees who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Astronomical numbers. That's a pretty good chance of getting the Corona that you ordered off tap at Chili's on the very first try.

No matter the industry, healthcare, to manufacturing, to business services, to DJing, ZipRecruiter makes hiring faster and easier. And today, you can try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash yak. ZipRecruiter doesn't wait for the right candidates to find you. ZipRecruiter's AI scouts talent for you. That means that the AI is doing the work that you don't have to do because you are siding up with the best in the biz ZipRecruiter. First, when you post your job on ZipRecruiter, it will get sent out to over 100 top job sites. Then ZipRecruiter's powerful matching technology learns what you're looking for, identifies people with the right skills and

experience, and invites them to apply to your job. So you get qualified candidates fast. And now you can try ZipRecruiter for free. My listeners can go, our listeners, each and every one of our listeners can go to ZipRecruiter.com slash yak, ZipRecruiter.com slash Y-A-K. ZipRecruiter.com slash yak. The smartest way to hire. Uh-huh. Yeah. You know what the fuck it is.

You know exactly what the fuck it is. What is it? We talked about armless swimming. Swimming without arms. Yeah. That's right. This is, we're not disrespecting armless men in any way. Or women.

We just call them the human tadpoles. Or I think you said it was a baseball tee. And I just want to hire one as a joke to be my intern and make him run errands. What's the joke? Where's the joke? The fact that he has no arms. It's just a straight up line. But we're not making fun of him, but we're making jokes about them.

Yeah. It's confusing me. Where would the baseball go if they were a baseball tee? In their mouths? What if four out of five of your appendages were there? I'd say that's pretty good. Pretty damn good. 100%.

It's damn good. I thought you were going to say four out of five weren't there. I'm listening.'s pretty good. Pretty damn good. It's damn good. I thought you were going to say four out of five weren't there. I'm listening. Hold on. That's something you're interested in? Just one missing appendage? Entirely dialed in. Four of your five senses worked.

That's a pretty damn good life. You know what? Let's get into the clip. I mean, Lieutenant. Oh, and he throws himself in the ocean i just get panic attack i believe he's gonna die well what's gonna happen a shark's gonna bite his leg yeah he's like he looks like a seal how about what's gonna happen it's a movie yeah but he shouldn't throw himself he has no legs he shouldn't throw himself anyone have no arms but two legs? I've never seen.

I've never seen. I saw that kid on Twitter that jumped up on the box. You see the kid that jumped up on the box? Oh, the coach too. The coach. I see the coach. He jumped on the box. I feel like you either have no limbs or you have an arm.

I think I saw a guy at Topgolf last week. You're either just a head and a torso. Well, do you think anyone has? I've never seen a guy at Topgolf last week. You're either just a head and a torso or... Well, do you think anyone has... I've never seen a strictly armless man standing. Do you think anyone has a left side and no right side? That I've never seen either. You got some organs to work with, brother. No, I'm saying they're missing their left arm and leg,

but they have their right arm and leg. No. That would be wild. That's symmetry. Tip over. Asymmetrical man. Do your impression of an armless man, Ro. God damn it.

Fuck. Fuck. Let me get that. Shit. Just open up this milk. Pass the salt, Roan. He's using his mouth, yeah. Hell of a mouth. i watched i watched an armless guy open up milk this past week on tiktok really uh he might have been a little a little bit how'd you end up there

uh he may not have been an armless guy he may have been a little person it might have been the added bonus. Bingo sheet. This guy comes with all the features. How many armless listeners call in? Using Siri. Yeah. No, these armless folk are very proficient with their toes. I think you just have to be.

Oh, they're toes, guys. I would go tongue. I saw an armless guy hit a golf ball at Topgolf. Yeah. That was on Twitter last week. Yeah. Wait, how? What?

He put it in the crook of his neck. His neck. I think he should stick to putt-putt. He hit it. He's setting himself up. He hit it. He beat Frank. Well, I mean, that's a whole other setup. Who won the Frank versus Duggs?

Everybody. Well, yeah, that's true. Yeah, they both got jobs off it. Avery knows. Avery knows. Avery knows, that's true. Yeah, they both got jobs off it. Avery knows. Avery knows. I don't. But I do remember an armless guy in Dave's pizza review video. Remember he was pulling the wagon? Yeah.

Okay. Oh, fuck. You just are closing your eyes to it. That guy had half arms, I think. He was the baseball tee of humans. He had a... What would you compare? How does a baseball tee have two half arms? Three quarter sleeve. It's like a stick of gum.

You seem like a pay dispenser. They hit the tee a lot. Like not the baseball. Oh yeah. And just dribbled. I think that's kind of a bunt. That's correct. The ball falls straight down to the ground.

Run, run, run. My dad was so disappointed. Just always. Nick won cleanest uniform after every game. He did. He never had to slide. So that was you talking about. You were making fun of disabled people.

That's why i want to just clarify that i thought that was punching down no longer ada approved yeah that was fucked up i thought i know but i think that us calling you out for it is almost saving the show right definitely us doing that is like okay we're seeing both sides of it yeah you're our id a little bit we're the good ones do you want to use use this platform to apologize? I did not make fun of armless men, but if I did, here's what I would have done. My new book coming out.

An OJ-esque book of how I would have. An audio book. An audio book. You could write it with Yeah. It's the only way you can apologize in the written form. There are way more jokes that you can make about someone who has one arm.

If I wanted to, yeah, I would have made fun of them, but I didn't want to. It's harder to joke about armless people than one-armed people. One-armed people, you have the single-handedly jokes, the one-arm tie behind your back jokes. Right. With people with no arms. Lend me a hand. Right, exactly. That doesn't play as much.

It's almost like you're pranking them, which is exactly. Yeah, what style of disabled people do you like to make fun of the most, KB? If you're on a deserted island. Just get it out right now so we can call you out. If you saw an armless man riding a bike, what would you say? Would you like wheelchairs? Yeah, what's your favorite? Nick, do you have something in mind? I don't know.

Is there a Flowbot song that you would reference? I don't know what that means. Let's just say when Oscar Pistorius killed his girlfriend, it was the best day of my life. Wait, wait, wait. No, no. Wait for the next clip. Wait, wait, wait.

When I found out that Oscar Pistorius was a bad man, I was like, finally. Finally. Finally. If only that didn't happen. You could finally start stumping for some jokes about him. You could pull the trigger on some, this absolute slander of legalist people. What if he was found guilty? What if he walked? What would you walked what would you oh he's gonna skate

i don't know making fun of him is like really towing the line he was in the news this week well he's got a documentary a four-part documentary that's like nine hours long oh and he's he what he's in the news because he's begging for forgiveness from the family. Any jokes about that one, KB? Yeah. Wait, hold on. You got it. He's on his hands.

Innocent woman was murdered. Yeah, there's funny. If anyone can find the funny, it's always this show. Feed me forgiveness for our reconciliation. Atonement. Atone. He shot through the door,

a bathroom door that was a locked door. He said it was a criminal. This isn't feeling fertile. It's not there. You know who's always a fertile person to make fun of? All business Pete. Yeah. Yeah. Right? He's not a

fertile man though. No one deserves it more than him because he is just at the bottom of his heart. He's actually a terrible person. The worst. We're at our best when we're lampooning all business Pete and sometimes it falls by the wayside and sometimes we forget to do our due diligence in keeping ourselves sharp.

And all business Pete is how we do that. I have something to tell you guys. Please. I caught somebody in this office doing something they weren't supposed to. Masturbating. Close. Sorry. And it was Owen.

I caught all business Pete. I'll cut your mic. I'm listening. Shut up. Pouring an entire container of Lifesavers into his backpack before he left for the day. Avery, can you get him, please? He poured out the, we have bins of candy and Lifesavers. At the end of the day, it was empty. And I saw his backpack filled to the brim with Lifesavers.

The white ones? The white ones. Yeah, they're free. He was trying to do the spark experiment with his kids. Turn off the light and shoot them in the dark. Actually, I want to do that right now. How bad is his breath? I don't know.

It was one of the craziest things I had ever seen in my life, that he was just dumping them out. And a guy like that, too, who usually is a, you know, he follows the law. He's a letter of the law type of guy. Seems like he would judge us for doing it. Imagine if we started stealing laptops. It's the same thing. Exact same thing. But he's like doing the office space where

they siphon off just little by little he's gonna have like five cents a day worth of lifesavers until lifesavers until he gets enough money oh my god come on in oh yeah put your phone in the middle we do foot we do no phones on the show no come, Pete. Pete, just put it in there for a second. No, I'll just leave it right here. Roan, I was... My mouth... Is your breath stinky? I really wish I...

Do we have anything that... That would save your life right now. You're going to lose me. I'm going to go. Well, this is directly about you. Well, it's not directly about me. My mouth doesn't feel so fresh right now. Is there anything I can do to go. This is directly about you. It's not directly about me. My mouth doesn't feel so fresh right now. Is there

anything I could do to freshen up, Roan? If you had a lifesaver, that would really save your life. But there's none in there because... Are they a sponsor of this show? Did someone take them all? Somebody steal them? Somebody... Pete, answer this question. True or false, when you walked out of the office

the other day, there were an inordinate amount of lifesavers in your question. True or false, when you walked out of the office the other day, there were an inordinate amount of lifesavers in your backpack. True. You're stealing. I think we caught him. I brought him back. What do you mean you brought him back?

I put him all back in the bin. Why would you steal him and bring him back? I didn't know I was stealing him. What? Did you buy him? No. Why would you steal them and bring them back? I didn't know I was stealing them. What? Then why did you bring them back? Did you buy them? No. You took them and you didn't know you were taking them.

Correct. You had an out-of-body experience. Nope. And Colby's saying you put them back? I think no, he tried this defense. I think I just said I put them back. Wait, so your conscience got the best of you? No.

What was I going to do with those mints? So why'd you take them? Why'd you put them in your bag? I didn't. Who said I put them in my bag? Roan did. Roan, did you ask if I put them in my bag? Yes.

He says you dumped them in his bag. Oh, prior to me getting here, you've made this false accusation. And then when I got here, you twisted the question. I can't tell who's talking right now. You admitted to it. I admitted to what? What Roan said. Again, you'd have to go back and listen to the tape.

You guys aren't paying very much attention. But Roan didn't ask if I put them in my bag. He asked if I left the other day with an inordinate amount of mints in my bag. And that is true. How'd they get in your bag? Roan put them in there. Oh, you fuck. I forgot. This is the man who threw a cactus to me. This is you fuck. Oh, man. I forgot. This is the man who threw a cactus to me. This is the man who soaked our cake.

I don't know about that. I mean, I do have to go get the tape, but I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. So you got home and you opened up your bag and there was just... And it just reeked of mint. Yeah. I was just like, who put all these fucking mints in here? This is he said, she said. Yeah. I don't believe you. I was just like, who put all these fucking mints in here? This is he said, she said.

I don't believe you. I believe Ro. I mean, it's not because I did pull the tape. Can I see it? I watched it happen. It's bizarre. Can I see it? Can you send it to us? How much tape did you have to watch to find? I went to it.

You go in, you set the date, and you set the time. The time that I just knew it like you go in, you set the date and you set the time. The time that I just knew it was around, he was literally dumping them in my bag. Can I see it? Can we see it? I have to go get it. Go get it. That could be a deep take. I don't have time for that. No, come on, go get it. I was going to tweet it out

but it's just so weird. He just walks by and dumps an entire tray of mints into my bag and walks out the door. It's so weird. I still think that maybe you did it. That's fine. Until I see the tape. I haven't seen any tape either.

No, it's just bizarre. So you gave them back? I brought them back. How many did you eat, though? Three. Stolen. Still stolen. As a reception of stolen property, you have been implicated.

Implicated? Yeah. How far did you get before you realized your bag was full of them? It was, when was it? It was like the weekend, I think. Oh, so you stole them for the whole weekend. Maybe it was Sunday. No, no, he did it on Thursday because I wasn't here the first three days.

So that narrowed it down. He did it on Thursday. I think I didn't go into that part of my bag until Sunday, until I came back into work. He went to your desk? No, what had happened was I was leaving, and then right out here, I left a computer on the chair, so I dropped my bag, took the computer back to my desk,

and at that point, Roan comes whistling. I've been waiting. Whistling. He was whistling like a snake in the grass. It's so weird. Whistling down the hall. He just sees the bag, opens it up, dumps the mints in, and walks right out the door. It's weird.

No, that seems normal. You asked him to do it, so you had to cover. How long? Because I started just leaving mints for Roan, what, two days ago. I thought it was the new Mississippi State or the old mints guy we hired. The mints. What's his name? Mints?

Yeah, Ben Mints. Ben Mints. I thought his name? Mints? Yeah, Ben Mints. Ben Mints. I thought that was his calling. Clark's joker. Okay. He was leaving them around. I didn't realize that you two are in cahoots. I got you.

Can you hear KB doing that to the mic? Yeah. Oh, yeah. All the time. He's getting nervous. He's been here a long time. Klepto-bismol.

He refused to look. Nice. You are a klepto. Dude, that was good. That was good. St good stomachs turning upset stomach diarrhea too much stealing yeah so do you feel any guilt in this oh no no why i mean why would i well it seems like i actually we could we have a case to make against both of you in conjunction. Like if we walked into a store right now and I put a sweatshirt into Nick's bag, Nick doesn't get off. Yeah, he does. He didn't do anything wrong.

No. So, so then we just found a loophole. Yeah. So we should start doing that. We should start doing, we should start stealing stuff. I'll put it in your bag and then I'll leave. And then you leave and you'd be like, well, I didn't know. But that's not to say that you didn't do anything wrong.

Right, but if I can get away, which Roan did. You didn't notice the extra weight of the mints? Yeah, how much do you think 100 mints weigh? I don't know. I've never had 100 mints in my bag. 100 pounds? I carry a lot of stuff in my bag too. It was a perfect crime.

Very strong. Why'd you bring them back? What the fuck else was I going to do with that? You don't think about just for a second. We're missing your bag for three days. We don't want to eat your bag. Hey, you don't expire. They're fine. Wrangle your children, turn off the lights, make it pitch black and tell them to chomp down.

They'll create sparks and they'll love you for a second. Honestly, Pete, honestly, you definitely strike me as the type of guy on Halloween who gives away mints. So you should have just kept them for that. It's either that or quarters. That's your house. They went back into the bin. Everybody has probably already enjoyed them.

They were all individually wrapped. Oh, gross. So they were... We've been eating his bagments. They were at your house. They were... You restarted that. You laundered them. They were at your house. Yep. They could have gotten corona. Yeah.

You re-disseminated them into society while we were none the wiser. We've been tasting Pete's bag all week. That's the true crime. Your sack has been in our mouth. You're sick for putting your sack in our mouth. I wasn't listening to what you said. Your sack has been in our mouth.

We've been tasting your sack all week. Oh, like my backpack? You're calling it a knapsack? A knapsack. The name of it? Uh-huh. Yeah, but none of them touched the knapsack, as you usually call a backpack, right? What do you mean?

What did they touch? Yeah. They floated? No, they're plastic baggies. They were hovering? No. The mints themselves touched the plastic bag. But if enough days pass, the plastic starts to deteriorate.

How long do you think that plastic deteriorates? Two, three days. Two, three days? Two hours? Yeah. Okay. So landfills work. Depends on how strong your sack is.

Also true. Which we know has no jizz in it. You guys do a mid-break here? No, we kind of just chill. Who did you have go through the tape for you? Me. But that's funny, because when I needed someone to go through the tape for me, you no i can't i'm busy yeah because that was for you this was for me so i did it but i actually had like i caught the culprit but i had like a real thing someone stole some

actual possessions i just replaced him i think you knew exactly when to look yeah how that doesn't add up how do you know when somebody plays? He was in on it. There's a lot of hours in a day and you knew exactly when to lock. And you're telling us that you only kept three? I think maybe I... Maybe. Seems like that's going to grow. Everything that was in my bag, when I realized

and brought it back, I just dumped back in there. At one point, I was going to dole them out. I was just going to put them in Rowan's pockets constantly for a week and then I was just like, nah, that's too much. So I just put back in there. At one point, I was going to dole him out. I was just going to put him in Roan's pockets constantly for a week, and then I was just like, nah, that's too much. So I just put him back. You were going to physically assault Roan for a week straight? No, I was just going to like, oh, here's some mints.

I didn't know he was going to bring it up. He gave me one. This doesn't add up. I put some on his computer. Can we please see the footage? I'd have to go get it. Please. Don't give it.

Please. It's going to be funny. What are you doing get it. Please. Go get it. Please. Like, it's going to be funny. What are you doing right now? Please. Prepping. Well, I mean, prepping for so much. Rough and Rowdy, college football, pro football, football show. Please.

I don't ask for anything. Yeah. I'll see if I can fit it in. Come on. Just have one of your underlings do it. I feel like I should tweet it. And then when the show's over, you guys can pick up your phones and look at it so are those all set to silent?

yeah somebody says face up, that's gotta be Dan's yeah there's not a chance I can't see it though we have ember alerts turned off though right, we're not saving any kids everyone else has to turn them down except for Dan

I mean no, we've done it we've put it down like a million different. Can anyone think about how they put it down? Yeah, I don't care. Why do you have to flip them off? I haven't looked at it. You can't even see it. You're pretending like I had some big plan.

Sometimes we put it down. Sometimes we just put it there. That's good. No, the show's better for it. Yeah. Yeah. Great. Okay.

Yeah. So go find the footage. Okay. Will you please tweet it by the time the show's over? Yeah. Great. Okay. Yeah. So go find the footage. Okay. Will you please tweet it by the time the show's over? Yeah. You have people that could do that for you. You've delegated going through footage to people before. Look, this is the problem with the phone being out.

Yeah. But you guys have lost me. So I'm going to see what I can do. We've lost you. Yeah. You've lost us. This is fun. You never even had us. I'm going to see what I can do. We've lost you? Yeah. You've lost us. This was fun. You never even had us.

Yeah. There he goes. Always a pleasure to talk to Pete. He is a lot of fun. Oh, man. What a firecracker. He is insatiable. I did not do what he accused me of.

I did not pour the mint. You will never see that footage. His tell is his lifeless eyes. And the fact that he went right to the mints. What if he does produce footage that shows you? Was it doctored? Yes, obviously. He probably had an actor.

He probably had a similarly shaped guy. That's Colby. That's a great job by you, Rowan. I haven't fucked with Pete in a while. I miss it. That just got the blood rushing. He's got a fat backpack sitting out. What temperature is he dressed for?

Who? All of them. All of the equinox. Every single equinox he's dressed for. That takes a long route. Yeah, he's a walk-buyer. He's a big-time walk-buyer. I heard he jailbroke his iPhone just so he could, could like do a hack that

disabled amber alerts yeah that is true he's bragging about it that's such a good fucking skill to have though he sent out an email it's like if anyone wants to make sure that they never get an amber alert again credit to you ron by the way you lampooned us as well that was we believed you believe you that was a full circle lampooning over yeah but i i mean it's just the way that he used he answered the question perfectly that i put i said did you walk out of here with a bunch of mints he answered and with the story that i had told that did fall in line it was like an appropriate response. But getting us in the process, are you afraid that you have no allies left? Ooh.

You didn't get us. Damn. Damn. I didn't realize that I had burnt that bridge by getting you guys. A lot of people are asking me if I'm pissed that Pete got me. So by putting out the footage of it, he might have gotten us. Which is inconclusive at best. The footage is definitely inconclusive.

And whether he got me is further inconclusive. KB, what do you think of all business Pete? I talk a lot of shit on him. Why? Because you feel like you can? Because I hate him. Why? You've parsed him.

You've broken him down. Yeah. Sliced him up. Yes, you have. I sliced parsed him. You've broken him down. Yeah. No. Sliced him up. Yes, you have. I sliced him up. Because he's intelligent. Because do you, because he's condescending.

What are the, what are the peccadillos of business Pete? Peccadillos. I don't want to give him any air time. Okay. Yeah. Fuck him. Even though we just played a clip of him. Go follow all business Pete on Twitter and Instagram, all business Pete. He will not follow you back, no matter what, no matter how many times you see him every day.

Won't do it. Oh, yikes. Yikes. Yikes is freaking right. That sounded super personal. I'm not the only one here. No. You don't tweet anymore.

This was a year ago. I gave people a window of like two to three weeks. No follow back. I double it. I give people a window of two to three weeks. No follow back. I double it. I double it. I unfollow and then I just hate them. You block them. You know who else loves to block people is Brandon Walker.

He does. You know another thing about Brandon Walker? Jewish penis. He does have a Jewish penis. That doesn't get talked about. Orthodox, yeah. A Hasidic penis A non-mask wearing penis

Yes, exactly His penis was gallivanting around Williamsburg Just fucking It's true Pissed off That's true That's his dick, his business Let's get into the clip

Go, try You're gonna go pee? What are you fucking for? It's the coffee. No, it's the coffee. He had no idea that he... It's a diuretic. You can pee in this bottle. Do you want me to do coronavirus test? No. If you call, if you get the phone and you call,

and you do it while you're on the phone. Peeing too? Peeing as well. Put the phone next to your penis. Brandon, let me talk to your penis. Put your penis on. Hello? Yeah, well, his penis is like stuffy. It would be more.

Hello? Can I have some more? Can I have some more? Imagine the ultimate irony that Brandon's penis is Jewish. It's cold out here. It sounds like Eugene from Hey Arnold. It looks like him too. That's actually why Brandon is a known anti-Semite.

Because he just hates his perfectly circumcised penis. It looks like stinky. It looks like Sid sounds like stinky. So it has a Texas accent. This really bites. Brandon is Jewish penis. Lance really bites. Jewish penis. Lance really bites. With a southern accent.

He's just such a New Yorker now. With his coffee, chai tea, espresso, his Jewish penis. His big Jewish penis. What? What was What? What was it? We did voices for your penis and I said that it would be

the ultimate irony that the reason why you're an anti-Semite is that you have a Jewish penis and you just hate it. Perfectly circumcised penis. You're a bris. You lost yours in like a bike spoke in 98 so a rabbi donated his very own penis. Shlomo gave youised penis. Pure bris. You lost yours in like a bike spoke in 98, so you had a rabbi donated his very own. Shlomo gave you his penis.

And you've been hating yourself ever since. Yeah, no, probably check out. Penis transplant? Yes. A little yarmulke on top. That's how you know. That's how you know. That's the difference. That's the difference.

What are some other Jewish things? things Passover Rosh Hashanah um uh being belittled by JK Rowling what are some other things being personified as gremlins that run the banks by JK Rowling are we let's put our foot down now are we pro or anti-JK Rowling as a podcast not as a radio show but as a podcast jeez I saw people on twitter but as a podcast. JK Rowling. Jeez. I saw people on Twitter calling her a TERF. Don't know what a TERF is. It's derogatory. Really? In which way? Is it so much so that we can't say it? I think JK Rowling just created a horseshoe theory

where both sides just don't know whether to hate her or love her. I hate that she's retroactively making people like, oh, didn't you know Ginny Weasley was non-binary it was in the text just look in the prose you know it's a book for teens

find a bunch of cons about her prose yeah too much of that but at the same time though her literature was the true magic of it was that it got me to read as a young boy I would devour those books. I'd finish them quite fast.

Meanwhile, now I can't finish a book for the freaking life of me. That's so freaking Ravenclaw of you, Ron. Yeah, he is a Ravenclaw. He is a Ravenclaw. I am a Ravenclaw. You look like a Ravenclaw. We're all different houses on this panel. Big catch is a Gryffindor.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Be careful with your next words. Kyle is a Slytherin. Thank you. Thank you. And Nick down here. Nick down here makes you a Slytherin. Yes, you are. Thank you. And Nick down here. Nick down here. Big time Hufflepuff.

Yeah. Because of your... I'm a sub. I'm a cuck. Yeah. You're just aloof. You just let bad fortune wash over you. Yeah.

That's you. He is a... I always wanted to be a Gryffindor. I was begging that sorting hat. I was like, sort me Gryffindor, man. Sort me Gryffindor. I was begging that sorting hat. I was like, sort me Gryffindor, man. Sort me Gryffindor. And it wouldn't. And KB, you got what you fished your wish.

You always wanted to be a Slytherin. And I am. Bad motherfucker. People forget that I'm a Slytherin. Yeah, you're a Slytherin. I actually am. And I guess, you know, what better time than now to come out? I think I was 12 when I realized.

When you realized. She's like, oh, my God, I'm cunning. Jesus Christ. Who was the first person you told? Your parents always knew Yeah They just said something about it My friends

My friends would like We would joke around with it But like Deep down I'm like yeah You have a mean streak I mean There's an inherent evil about me But also

You know Nice with potions It's tough It's tough in a young Boy or Young Slytherin's life To just Let that wash over you.

Let that happen. And we went to a Catholic school, so it was like a tough pill to swallow. Oh, yeah. Catholic school, conservative town, West Virginia, blue collar area. It wasn't easy. They're not ready for it. I mean, it's just such a progressive thing to be like a young 12-year-old Slytherin boy just trying new things. Gallivanting around.

Trying new things. You would speak like a snake. You would always have the S's at the end of your words. I was afraid. People would hack their friends' Facebooks and say, I'm a Slytherin as a joke. A mean joke. Right. And then kids on the football team. People would say, that's so Slytherin as a joke, a mean joke. Right. And then kids on the football team-

People would say, that's so Slytherin. Right. Kids on the football team would crush people for being Slytherins. And it's like, I'm actually Slytherin. It's embarrassing. Yeah. But at the same time, we also talked about some shit on Thursday's show. And I know that stuff that we talked about.

And you guys can refresh me. So that was, uh, I liked the best part about Thursday show was that it was bad. Um, and people were like, oh, they just didn't have energy.

We did that on purpose. It was experimental. It's like being a, uh, a bad kid who knows who has soft as parents and just seeing how much you can get away with. And we were really trying to get away with being fucking, we were crayoning on the walls, shitting down the drains.

We were just absolutely disrespecting the sanctity of recorded media with what we were doing. We were making observational jokes about things that no one other than the five of us could see. We oftentimes forget that radio is audio based. Yeah, it's rather lazy. And what's worse than doing an observational visual joke on a radio show?

What's that? Doing one that's not even a joke. It's not funny. Yeah, we were also trying to kind of find where funny was because we find a lot of things funny. We have acute senses of humor in that we can sense out humor when it's barely even there. Just there's a wisp of it in the air. And we said, let's see how little humor has to be in the air for us to be able to sense it a little bit, taste it a little bit. Mind if I have a taste?

Yeah, give it a shot. Was there any? None. Yeah, well, let's play the clip and let's let the people decide. Look how far this straw is coming out of my drink. Yeah. And for those listening at home, his straw is sticking so, so far. Picture a big straw coming out the Picture of a big straw.

Coming out the top of a drink. It's fucking crazy. If I had my phone, I'd take a picture. Big Cat, can you do like the leaning tower of Pisa thing next to it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put your finger on the top of it. Like it's the Eiffel Tower. Mental image. What the fuck?

Oh my god. It's like the Empire State Building. Do it fuck? Oh my god. It's like the Empire State Building. Do it again. That's me taking the straw. Yeah. I love sound effects shows. You don't know Jordan? I wanted someone to get a picture for you.

He's going to violate the phone ordinance twice. I have not. Colby's got it. Wait a minute. Can we get it so it's an eye trick, an illusion? Can we get it closer to the camera? Should we all be in the picture? I want to kind of, I don't know,

be a part of it. Like I'm pushing it. Let's all make our straws tall. That would be so funny. Oh my God. This is so... The tall straw boy. Look at mine.

Look at mine. It's barely in. The shit. It's barely in. You got to put it almost like at your knees to drink. It's like the Patronus Towers in Kuala Lumpur. Did you actually just poke your face? Almost.

It's so tall. Freaking poke your face. This shit is crazy. Did you feel that? My skin is crawling. Yeah. It's a shame to re-listen to that. Yeah, it was bad, but that's also us just finding where the walls are.

That was our Christopher Columbus moment. We take feedback seriously. So like, fuck the Yankee swap. Never do that shit again. We haven't. We've only done that, what, five times? Yeah, out of five times that we've done lunch episodes. Right, so that won't ever happen again.

Right, we put a pin in it when we knew we needed to put a pin in it, and we slowed it the fuck down as soon as we needed to slow it the fuck down. And that's why we're going to be doing another lunch episode on next week's episode of the yak and subscribing and rating us high and when you rate us high and give us that five star rating we will read your comment and we will eat based on that isn't that right yeah that's what we're gonna do yeah that's what we're gonna do yeah every single one every one of them we're gonna have a lunch based on it so you could i mean how many days left do you do you guys expect to Because if we get enough comments, we could have our lunches planned for the rest of our lives. I was planning on going out tonight. Yeah. So every comment keeps me alive.

Right. Exactly. And you're not talking about hitting the town and painting it red. You're talking about the sweet embrace of eternal bliss. I want to leave this fleshy tomb I call a body. Yeah. Oh, and we all want that for you. And we definitely want that for you.

Yeah. You guys want to fucking call this quits? I was going to let KB sign us off. Yeah, sign us off, you crazy fucker. I want to just, what about like a Saudi Arabian guy going hunting and he doesn't bring a gun, he brings a bag of rocks and he kills a deer. What about a Jewish boarding school

with a sorting yarmulke? We want to spitball any of these things? These are both fertile. I don't know which one to touch first. I don't know which one to touch on first. Why is the guy Saudi? I don't know. They to touch first. I don't know which one to touch on first. Why is the guy Saudi? I don't know.

They don't hunt in that culture. I was thinking he had a hunting falcon or something like that. They always do have... They have falcons. They have money. Yes, in a good way. Do your impression of getting stoned. Ah! Ow! Ah! Ouch! Ah!

Yeah. Ouch! Ouch! Do people say ouch? Uh, I do. In which context? Like when you're getting hurt? Like when I stub my toe.

Ouch! Ouchy! Sound like a bitch when you do it. I just say ow. Ow! Like kind of a cartoon. Like a cartoon dog. You sound like a cartoon dog

you sound like a cartoon wolf seeing a hot woman yeah your eyes popping out of your head yeah I fucking do you horny fuck yeah I fucking do you know what fuck this let's get out of here

be the sorting yarmulke you place it on my bald spot on the back of my head that's gotta be why yarmulke you place it on my over my bald spot on the back of my head what do you say that's gotta be why yarmulkes were invented yes

it's a it's a religious toupee all all religious headwear I think even Catholics like the Pope wears pretty much a yarmulke a big one

yeah a tall yarmulke uh urine Slytherin oh no oh god please cut that out

cut that please