The Yak - The Race For Another Case Starts Now. 100K Subs = Case Race Part 2 || The Yak 4-20-22
Episode Date: April 20, 2022100K XYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Yo.
Wow.
I was thinking.
Am I too loud?
I was thinking, why did you take your belt off?
I thought we were getting comfortable.
Let's take our belts off.
You're wearing sweatpants.
It was pressing into my gut.
Wait, how are you wearing a belt with sweatpants?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
These aren't sweatpants, bro.
You ever do this move?
Oh, yeah. The grade school?
Oh, wait.
No slapping this belt.
Oh, yeah.
But then can't you put your hand in it and it doesn't hurt?
No, it doesn't hurt.
Yeah.
Yeah, it doesn't hurt.
You weren't sure.
It just makes a nice ass.
God, yeah.
You do that to...
Grade school rock.
Yeah.
All right, belts off.
We're in Chicago.
We're taping this on Tuesday.
It's airing on Wednesday.
I was thinking we could just do a memento episode
and just prepare for our dog walk draft right now.
Oh, yeah, that's pretty cool.
For an hour, just confuse it.
No, we're not going to do that.
That would be confusing as fuck.
It would be.
And people would just be like, yeah, it was funny for the first 30 seconds.
Yeah.
That Rowan was being a bitch.
Did everyone get their scripts for tonight's trivia competition?
Yeah.
Congrats on winning.
Appreciate it.
Appreciate it.
It was the way Jeff wrote this one where we had that comeback in the first round.
Chef's kiss. I just didn't see had that comeback in the first round, chef's kiss.
I just didn't see you guys losing in the first match.
Yeah, it's only six points.
I mean, people you think would assume it was scripted after that.
I want nothing more than for this to actually happen.
I know, that would be fucking sick.
I think Jeff would spontaneously combust.
Just be a hand laying back there.
He'd never know.
He'll never even know.
I love the trivia commenters because if you go on the YouTube live,
if you rewatch it, there will be people who are like,
saw it leaked, here's the final score.
And I saw that for a game that I participated in.
And I was like, wait, what?
Is that true?
There's something about like it's like when it's the same feeling of when you do a periscope during a live game
and someone will comment like home run and you're like oh fuck yeah and they're just fucking with
you yeah yeah it's like poopy stinks yeah poopy stinks fuck poopy dana's here by the way i want
to have dana on for a few minutes because we have not recapped with Dana off of the case race.
No, we haven't.
The man who declared to the world, it's not like I'm just going to sit there and not talk.
And sure enough, he just planted his flag in the moon.
One of the worst predictions of all time.
That was old take exposed.
But that's what I do when I'm like that drunk. When I'm in the happy medium of like 12 to 14,
I'm the most fucking talkative guy in the world.
Right.
But I don't know.
I was just letting you guys shine.
Well, you didn't allow yourself to live in that realm either.
You were in that 12 to 14 range quick.
I was focused on the task at hand.
So it got a little away from me.
Before I knew it, I literally couldn't speak words.
I was calling him Cal.
Yeah, you were.
Like you were in Times Flies.
Times Flies.
Cal.
Cal.
It was fun.
I had a great time.
Do we want to pull up a picture of Dana's face paint and play Is It Racist?
Yeah, there were a lot of people who were saying that he looked like a fat Asian woman.
Well, I told her to make me.
No, that's because he's fat.
That's the fat.
I told her to make me the I like turtles kid.
And then I saw what she was doing.
I said, can you make it emo as well?
And apparently that's what I said.
It turned into memoirs of a geisha.
So it was 100% your fault.
Yes.
So honestly, emo turtle is just racist.
Yeah.
I don't know what Asian face.
I think you need.
I think you need to now have this every time because we're going to do it again.
We actually declare that tweet and that because, you know, I'm going to do the same thing every time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's going to be the funny part.
20 beers.
I can't sustain that.
Right.
No, there will be a day.
I think you just keep doing it until the
day that you win and then it's like your life
is over you've been saying you've been
saying the sustain thing for three years
you're just you're gonna die yeah you're not
you're not gonna sustain you're gonna die soon
yeah you have been you have
been saying that for a long time now where
it's like I can't keep drinking like no no but
I don't drink I don't sit down and drink 20
beers in two hours every time I drink.
More like three?
Yeah, three hours.
Yeah.
Four or five.
It's sustained this.
Yeah, we're going to.
That was on my face for about three days.
I couldn't get it out.
Same.
I'll say that's hot.
You look good with the mascara.
I would take a blowjob from you.
Yes.
Yeah.
King of blowjobs.
You look like a Shah. You look like a Shah.
You look like a Shah of Sunset.
Are you sad they didn't bring the king of blowjobs
back on to Barstool
vs. America? I'm on it. He's in it. Oh, you are?
Yeah. Who are you?
Okay. Who are you going to get blown by?
Probably Joey. Joey's going to suck you dry.
He hits on me quite often. Yeah.
He hits on a lot
of dudes in the office, I think.
He does, very openly.
How long does it take?
He doesn't hit on me.
What the fuck?
Yeah, he does.
You just can't tell.
Yeah, you just don't know it.
You don't know he's gay.
You have no gaydar.
Zero gaydar whatsoever.
I just think he's complimenting you.
Wait, but no.
When he was sucking me off the other day, he wasn't saying anything nice about me.
No, he wasn't.
Yeah.
How long do you think it takes on an RV for, like, the mermaid effect to kick in?
You know, when, like, sailors thought manatees were mermaids?
How long until Dan is like, yeah, I'll let Joey suck on it?
And so you're really asking how long does it take to have that happen in the Navy?
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
You're absolutely right.
That's not an effect
Yeah it is
Yeah it is
The sailors just wanted to
What did they do?
It was the mermaid effect
They were
They saw manatees
And they were like
That's a mermaid
That's a woman
And they were like
Pounding off the manatees
Yeah I wanna fuck that thing
I wanna fuck it
My mind's telling me no
Is there proof of this?
That's like
I thought it was
A pretty known thing
Like Magellan era
Or like
Later on more Vasco
de Gamas which is why you can't
blame the dolphins for being so attractive
I wouldn't know
sorry go ahead Ron I didn't
say it with a lot of confidence no but that's
like the only other explorer that there was that
I don't or outside of like Amerigo
Vespucci oh that's another good one
can you look up Vasco de Gamas
I think that's wrong
de Gama fuck you think that's wrong.
It's de Gama.
De Gama?
Fuck you, Steven.
Yeah, that was pretty impressive.
This will probably be a question on the Dozen tonight.
We already know it was.
God, I would love, it would be so great to do like a time travel show where we actually have all the answers and we just put like little drops of like knowledge about every
trivia question.
Some Easter eggs? Yeah. Tis the fucking season. put like little drops of like knowledge about every i know some easter eggs yeah here's the
fucking season like we just did a yak we're just randomly talking about like 2005 al first baseman
just fucking peppered up throughout also i feel like this was bait for me that somebody left their
laundry card and a pair of scissors right oh yeah i gotta cut this right but what if someone needs this laundry 100 do need it
yeah but it's up for a realty company though cut it up no that's just what they put scissors in
front of you but i've caught it we'll figure it out later it's bait it's bait but this isn't my
office and i didn't even really get to say hi to everybody except for like uh who would be the
worst danny and i guess I guess White Sox Dave.
Yeah.
Yeah, but it'll be the best as well. Actually, I'm almost going to guarantee that is not White Sox Dave's card
because he owns his place now.
So who sits here?
I actually might be.
Is it Chiefs?
No, I don't think it's Chiefs either because I think he bought a place too.
I think if I had to take a guess, it's Tom Lee's.
Oh, cut it up. Cut it place too. I think if I had to take a guess, it's Tom Lee's. Oh, cut it up.
Cut it, yeah.
I love Tom.
Wait, now go ask if, like, hold your hand over the cut and a half.
Like, is this anybody's laundry card?
Yeah.
We got to get people in here.
All right, wait, so Dana, let's finish up talking about the case race
and go find Tom Lee and bring him in here.
But what else, like, how long were you hung him in here. I got you. What else?
Like, how long were you hung over for?
I'm not kidding.
What's today?
Tuesday?
Wednesday.
I'm just getting over it.
It's Wednesday.
I'm like, and I also, I don't know.
I had a few drinks on Saturday to try and combat it.
Yeah.
It didn't work.
That's what you have to do.
But that was a great experience, and I hope I'm invited back.
You are.
Oh, of course.
You're a mainstay.
I think it's funnier that I didn't say a single word.
Yeah, no, I think you're just the pace car now.
I also don't want to get in your way.
You've got to do your thing.
I don't want to interrupt.
Actually, what did you end up with, 19?
20.
20.
So, yeah, people who were below you were bad, and people above you did a good job.
So you are the pace car.
Me and KB. We're a good team. What? What above you did a good job. So you are the pace car. Me and KB.
Yeah.
We'd be a good team.
What?
What?
We'd be a good team together.
Oh, yeah, because he drinks three and you drink 21.
Yeah, I drink three probably.
That'd be a good team.
I need redemption, so we need those subs because I—
100,000.
Every 100,000, we will do a case race.
We're also going to start doing incentives for different special episodes,
but that one will just be across it.
Like, if we get a million subs in the next year and a half, we will do 10 case races.
Yes.
That is the guarantee to the people.
Back to back.
Back to back?
Days?
I love that.
I love that, too.
Dude, I mean, if the people just go crazy.
At 500,000, we'll do back to back days.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What about case races?
Back to back.
500,000.
We're at 60,000. A hot dog Back-to-back. 500,000.
We're at 60,000.
A hot dog case race would be awesome.
Oh, yeah.
No, a hair of the dog.
So the second one.
I was going to say we should do, at 500,000, we should do a keg race.
Jeez.
And just make it like a 24-hour show.
I mean, that's how people.
The studio's going to look like Jonestown after that.
Everybody's on the same team, though.
That would be incredible.
What about mini case races?
Where you just surprise everybody and bring
in a 12-pack or something like that.
It's like a little sprint. It's not a marathon.
I don't hate that. Pound 12 beers real quick.
Pound 6 beers real quick.
Yeah, grab Tom.
Dana, you did great, though.
You did exactly
what we were hoping for. You were the vibe guy.
That's all I wanted to do.
You got us going, and then your vibes were immaculate because you just didn't say anything.
One more thing to Dana.
When you hit him, I don't even want to say this.
I hit him so hard.
And I did this thing in front of his eyes to follow them.
His eyes were just in the back of his head.
Yeah, you're good.
I hit you so hard, dude.
I'm sorry. That's all right. I'll get you back, right're good. I hit you so hard, dude. I'm sorry.
That's all right.
I'll get you back, right?
Maybe.
In what circumstances would you get him back?
Yeah.
And Slap Wheel is actually gone.
Yeah, so you never can get him back.
I know.
Unless you actually assault him.
Yeah, which I'm actually fine with.
Look at my fucking face.
The setup slap was great, too.
It loosened him up.
Yeah. That was a backhand, right It loosened him up. Yeah.
That was a backhand, right?
That's morbid.
Yeah.
That's like the live league footage of the punch that kills somebody.
Of the Houdini guy.
This is the Houdini of Barstool.
He was calling me a pussy in the background.
Kyle.
Are you okay?
There goes the jump.
I make him so heavy that you can't see.
There was no eye to see.
All right.
Love you guys. Yeah, I love's no eye to see. All right.
Love you guys.
Yeah, I love you too, Dana.
All right, we'll see whose card this is.
Have you guys looked at any of the suggestions for the new slap wheel?
Oh, yes. I have a few.
I have a few that I saw that were very funny.
Did you get any?
I liked Extend the Show an hour sliver.
Okay.
I like that.
Let's see. what were they this one
made me laugh it's utterly ridiculous but uh someone commented bucket of legos wheel
loser has to dump a bucket of legos on the ground walk over them barefoot for one minute back and
forth then pick up all the legos and put them back in the bucket, everyone can sing Clean Up Time when they do it. That's good.
Tom.
Is this your laundry card?
No.
Whose laundry card is it?
I don't know.
Uh-oh.
This is another poop joke.
I want to find out whose it is. When you give it back, they take it and they just take half.
Then you blame them.
Dude, you broke it.
Good God.
Whose is that?
Can you find it?
Get to the bottom of this, Tom.
Find out whose it was.
We cut it.
We cut it in half.
Don't let them know that it got broke.
We got to change how we say that.
It's not we cut it.
It got cut.
It's passive.
No one knows.
What? We thought it just happened. What?
We thought it was yours.
I thought it was yours because it's Water Tower Realty,
so I thought it was a River North type of building.
Right, right.
So I did the deductive math.
Oh, you moved.
So who lives in River North?
Okay.
What's Boys Town?
Oh, wait, let me say that straighter.
Wait, what the fuck is boystown boystown is a couple blocks that way and uh it's exactly as you'd expect just boys being boys hell
yeah yeah we would love it in boystown we got to get there yeah that's dope i like this whole area
that even just the drive up yeah right next to a philly cheesesteak spot it's like philly's
finest or something like that.
Look at that.
I believe it.
I believe it.
Oh, he's just saying it out loud right now.
Whose laundry card is it?
This is going to be awkward.
Is he snitching?
It might not be anyone's.
I don't think he got that.
I don't think he understood the assignment.
Do they have a guest on the show?
Maybe.
Cut a guest's laundry card.
Fuck.
Well, they shouldn't have left this shit in front of me.
It was tempting.
And with the scissors. You know you can't do that this shit in front of me it was with the
scissors you know you can't do that powerful yeah you can't do that these scissors are strong as
fuck i remember one time i was having a sleepover at my friends and i woke up the next morning
before everybody and sat at the table and just it was like out of habit there were scissors and a
pile of mail and i just cut up their mail yeah i had that happen once yeah with a friend who uh got like a new uh picnic bench
in his backyard and there was a hammer there and i just started hammered smashed it with the back
end of the hammer yeah and just ruined and his mom was like what are you doing i was like i don't know
i'm like nine the most most mad i've ever seen my mom i had my buddy casey hancock over and my my
dead grandpa he was alive when he made it made this table for us and there was a bottle cap and a thing of glue so we glued the bottle cap to the
table and it just ruined like there's just a big hole in the table yeah but it's just it's we're
men yeah you know it's a fucking move when people will glue a quarter to a table yeah and you say
ah a quarter and you try to fucking pick it up and you can't get it up yeah it's fucking genius
they should do that shit you should start doing that you go from the highest high to the lowest low
yeah does anybody have a quarter i saw glue do you want to glue a quarter do you think that that
would be do you fall for it every single day if you did that enough do you think like they would
you would eventually get it written up like in the news like if you just walked if you went around
to restaurants yeah and started gluing quarters to everything yeah they'd be
pissed i think i don't i think that it would be like people would be mad at you calling card i
don't know it adds some charm you know how like some people put like a fake fly in a urinal yeah
it'll just add charm to it yes that's true isn't that for aim isn't that so you don't backsplash
on yourself yeah or is it for aesthetic yeah i think it's for it's for aim. I wonder what genius engineer found that.
Do you think that people are just like in a lab pissing all over themselves until they find the exact spot where it's dulled?
It's a bunch of pissy scientists.
They still have to crack the code.
KB, what's up?
Go ahead.
No.
Go ahead.
That was actually a perfect representation of I had a great experience with KB.
We were on the same flight yesterday.
So I had.
Not to start.
Not to start.
He was on my flight.
Yeah.
I missed my flight.
You missed his flight.
Well, two things.
I got there very much in time.
My Uber driver dropped me off at the wrong terminal.
In order to shuttle from terminal A to D, it was 50 minutes.
Oh, my God was 50 minutes. Oh my God.
50 minutes.
And then they like took like a 20 minute break
to change drivers.
And like the guy was so slow about getting on.
He like took his power rate out,
took a very slow sip.
And I was,
I would be,
I was spasming.
Oh my God.
Can you,
TJ,
can you put that picture up that I sent the group chat?
Did you try,
did you try to lie to me about missing the flight?
I just didn't tell you I missed it.
Well, they were –
Because you knew what you were doing.
No.
I said, Kyle, do you want me to like – I was going to say something.
I was like, can we have two more minutes?
But she was saying, Kyle Bauer, there's an empty seat for Kyle Bauer.
I was like, Kyle, were you on this flight?
You were like, nah, never.
Then you were like, are you sure because they're calling your name it's like yeah yeah i'm sure
i'm not on the flight no you know i missed i wasn't asking if you were on it i was asking
if this was your flight or you got it moved no okay so he got it moved and he texted and was
like anyone on this not 8 30 flight and i was like yeah i am i thought i was the only one so then he was like i'm at the bar i went to the bar called flat iron flat iron i went to meet up with kyle literally
going to get pussy at the bar do you have the picture tj i'm not even kidding it's unbelievable
i turned the corner and i was like oh i'm gonna just go you know like there was a game on like
kyle and our flight was delayed i was like oh let go sit. We'll have a couple beers. We'll watch, you know, the Sixers kill the Raptors.
Oh, yes.
Thank you.
And I've turned the corner, and this is what I see.
It's just fucking Kyle picking up, like, a middle-aged woman.
She was laughing so hard.
She barely spoke English.
Costa Rican.
Son's in college.
Was going to fuck her.
Dude.
But, so you're a hot guy.
If I didn't develop rapport with the gentleman to my left,
I would have.
I felt him judging me.
But, you're a hot guy,
but there's plenty of hot guys.
This happens to you every time you step out.
I'm approachable.
Yeah, you are.
It was like shot like
i would understand you having a conversation with someone at the bar but the 90 seconds that i
watched from afar she was laughing harder than any person i've ever seen laugh she was dying
and if her face wasn't obscured like her face is full of glee yeah she's so happy in this picture
just she couldn't.
Body language, leaning in.
Kyle's got his fucking legs all wide.
He does have his legs wide as fuck.
She's manspreading.
I can't tell with the pants.
Is she outside of the thigh or inside of the thigh?
Of your thigh.
She's straddling.
She's straddling.
Yeah, I think so.
She's on top of his thigh.
What happened?
How did this happen?
I was just sitting down and she just started talking to me.
Was she sitting next to you or
did she just walk up to you? Because she's
standing there. Sitting next to me.
She was showing me pictures on her phone
and then made me grab the phone.
Oh. Because she
wanted you to scroll over and swipe and see
a titty. Yeah, phone is a pseudonym for pussy.
You're swiping the
pussy? I don't want to throw her under the bus
You just said you were going to get pussy
You just said that
Also Lent is over so your mom listens to the show again
Yeah
Oh no
I wasn't gonna
So I brought up the airport
Because I had
The nice experience of traveling with Kyle
Just the two of us,
and just being always on the cusp of an awkward conversation
that never really feels fulfilled.
All of our solo conversations are.
Yeah, I don't know.
They just feel like half.
Yeah, I don't know what to do because it's like.
They're like almost conversations.
But I've been alone with Nick this morning.
I've been alone with Roan many times. The conversations i can only talk to you in like a podcast group yeah right
like we were in the uber together it was i don't know it was you're telling me about wrigleyville
and i was like yeah i didn't know i mentioned if the bull should i bring up the bulls in the
playoff and you did you go oh what about the bulls i was like hell yeah i was like wednesday
he literally said that he goes what about the bulls i was trying to relate to you
why are you putting so much pressure on yourself about what to bring up it was you literally can
bring up anything you literally can just talk about anything when you're just sitting there
anything that comes to your mind is okay to talk about i don't know you're judgmental of yourself
it was hard it was hard for me we were both in the same spot i think i can have conversations with people solo it was also
like post-flight yeah after like that you felt frustration mode you were off a bean i was not
off a bean were you not no i tried to talk to yeah like even even the post-flight i was like
what did you did you watch a movie he's like no i fell asleep and he's like did you watch a movie
i was like yeah uncut gems he's like oh never seen it all right well there's
that conversation I was like I said that's a that's a weird movie choice for uh a flight
yeah and it's also probably probably hits close to home no it was the second time I watched it
and it was unsettling like watching it being like oh my god. This is anxiety of a gambler.
I have a question about when you get to town with somebody who's not from that town.
How much should you show them landmarks?
And how much is that just annoying as fuck?
I can just point out a couple things. Literally never.
Or is it like, I used to live there.
You casually just list off four different things and see how they react to one of them.
I walked with Steven, Nick, and Logan from the hotel to the office.
And it's through Wrigleyville.
And I just pointed out a couple bars.
I pointed out the apartment I used to live at.
And that was it.
It was as we were passing.
Yeah, it was as I was like, hey, I used to live here.
And I like to do that, too.
But then I worry, like, do people give a fuck?
Am I just like indulging myself of being like, I went to this pretzel stand.
People have host kinks.
Huh?
People love to host and it's for themselves.
I think a specific, like saying.
That's why you guys conversation.
So I think Big Cat was trying to inspire me.
He was like, I lived here.
It's like going to Elvis's first.
Oh, no.
You can say shit like that.
I would be interested.
It's literally the apartment I lived in.
So I think that's interesting, right?
Yeah.
I thought too.
Because we're friends and it's cool to see.
Yeah.
Like at Penn State, I walked you past the house I used to live at.
Yeah.
This is the house I used to live at.
Yeah.
Let's do that.
And Wrigleyville, I explained to them, like, it is very different even just in the last
four years.
So I was like, yeah, this used to be-
It used to be a bunch of, like, raggedy dive bars.
See, now he's repeating back the conversation.
So we did. We had a fulfilling conversation. No, yeah, this used to be a bunch of like raggedy dive bars. See, now he's repeating back the conversation. So we did.
We had a fulfilling conversation.
Yeah, we did.
But you're saying that if someone's like, that's the Natural History Museum, you're going to be like, all right, I don't give a fuck.
Never mind then.
If you're just narrating or labeling what something is.
Oh, yeah, that's not.
Yeah.
It's only specific things.
Yeah.
I was talking about like forcing them to like go to a landmark.
Oh, no, no oh no no no not
not like going out of your way but every time i'm walking in fidei with somebody and i'm at
that starbucks with the big calendar clock i'm like it's big remember that scene a big calendar
yeah it wasn't big daddy and then the people people i think appreciate that because everybody
loves big daddy yeah that's true that's a fact but i just you know we'll work on it kyle maybe
we'll take a flight back together because we've been doing a show together for like
I don't know five years now
But I realize we've never hung out
That was like our second conversation
Solo
I just don't know if you're a solo guy
You're a solo guy not a
Couple guy
I've duo'd with Kyle and we've had good
Talks
But you're a solo solo guy
You like to be by yourself.
I do, yeah.
You'd always pick that. No, not
always.
Like when? I don't know.
If I'm under the influence, I would
want to be with somebody. Picking up a chick at the
flower. Every time he's solo, a chick just approaches.
Yeah. That you need us to keep
the chicks away. And I was even flaring my
bottom lip to show her like, hey, I have this bump.
The fact that she was still...
Dude, by the way, I still slap your bum.
It's so bad.
I feel like I might be getting...
It's gotten worse.
Do I get something from slapping your bum?
That's really funny that you're showing it.
I got it.
I was making sure she saw it.
I don't want to, like...
No, that's a pretense.
That's like a gentleman move.
Here's my bum.
You should have just been like, I have AIDS.
Yeah. I don't think it would have just been like, I have AIDS. Yeah.
I don't think it would have.
She was in his loins.
Oh, she wanted it so bad.
At the airport bar.
If she was on our flight, it would have been on.
Mile high type shit.
Was she flying here?
Where was she going?
She was going to, I don't know.
I didn't ask about her.
I was telling her about myself.
Let me ask you this.
Did you guys go no mask on the plane?
I took a radar off as soon as they made the announcement.
On my flight, it was mid-flight.
We were in the air, and they were breaking news.
And I'm afraid of flying, so I'm scared as fuck.
And they were like, it was the captain.
They were like, according to U.S. law, you don't have to wear masks on flights.
Everybody went crazy.
Really?
This guy took off his mask.
Yeah, everybody just started coughing on each other.
It was like that scene where the seaman gets back and kisses his girl after the war.
Why do you say it like that?
I don't know what you're talking about.
But after the applause goes down, the pilot, all cool over the intercom, goes,
Welcome back to freedom.
What a moment.
I'm glad I was here for that.
The people who are cheering like they won the Super Bowl are weirdos.
And then the people who are like, oh, can't wait for COVID to come back are also weirdos.
Those same people all
have a ukraine flag in there yes yes anyone but then the people like who are actually
they're they're cheering like we just one of the subos like what is going on or some shit
like my i think i had a very normal experience i got on the plane and i had heard it then he
made the announcement and i realized the flight attendant wasn't wearing it, and I took it off.
Yeah.
That was it.
No cheering.
It was like, all right, cool.
I wore mine, but I just kept it under my chin the entire time.
So my mouth was out just to kind of—
In case the law came back?
Yeah, in case.
You always want to be right at the ready so you can pull it over.
The woman behind me was like, well, it's just as easy to keep on.
I was like, come on.
Live a little.
Yeah.
Join us.
Have you seen all the maskless selfies on planes on Twitter now?
Oh, yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
These people are fucking crazy.
Yeah.
Like, it wasn't that big of an inconvenience.
What a big dub for them.
Yeah.
Life is back.
What airline did you guys fly?
Delta.
Delta.
American.
They're still enforcing.
Whoa.
Prison.
Like, pretty firmly.
They made multiple announcements that were like, you still have to, no matter what, like,
this is our policy now.
What?
Yeah.
I think that is how it works.
Nazis.
Yeah, ironic name for a fascist airline.
Not my American.
Jesus.
Dude, can you rip me some of that Jimmy John's bread, dude?
Yeah, brought it in for sure.
You brought this in?
Thank God.
By the way, there's a Raisin Cane's up the street.
Yeah, we should go.
I definitely need some Raisin Cane's, but I just want a little.
I'm hungry.
I love Jimmy John's sweet, sweet bread.
You didn't eat any of the Kevin White?
I didn't have any of the Kevin White.
The bagel place right down the street, we got in, and we went to grab a bagel,
and I looked to my left, and there was a Kevin White-specific sandwich.
Kevin White hasn't been on the Bears in five years.
And you're forgetting a detail.
You had already bought the bagels.
Yeah, I had already bought two bagels for me and Nick.
And then I was like, I want this.
And then the guy, we got in like a, not a confrontation,
but like a conversation about, is he mocking me?
Am I mocking him?
He's like, are you making fun of my sandwich?
And I was like, are you making fun of my love for Kevin White?
Yeah.
Did he know that you love Kevin White?
No.
We had a little mini standoff, and then finally we came to a truce
where I was like, you better not take this down.
He's like, buddy, if it's not down now, you know it's never coming down.
It should be up forever.
It was a weird thing.
I don't know if it's a Chicago thing,
but you guys hated but loved each other all at once.
Yeah.
It was a very funny quick interaction based on Kevin White,
who's been completely irrelevant.
But the white lightning.
I mean, he was.
He's got a nice tooth gap.
I really felt bad about Kevin White because he once,
I put out a highlight tape of him,
and it was just like one catch he made in preseason over and over
from different angles.
And he quoted it, and it was like,
my guy, thanks for always having my back.
And I was like, oh, shit.
This is bad.
He's a good guy.
It doesn't matter.
If he doesn't know, it's not me.
Yeah.
Who?
Khaizir.
That's his brother?
Yeah.
What?
I was about to say, I don't have a connection.
You guys have the one Virginia connection.
Now I do.
Yeah, no, you have a big connection.
He made a catch this year, right?
For the Saints?
He made a catch, yes right he made a catch yes
yes fact
yeah number seven pick
overall all right that was it that was a
dozen question
that was a dozen question yesterday
chase chase
we got a bad chase
no why
Daniel
he is
as fuck today why I don't know he's like it's
rest i feel great yeah he's got the hair he's juiced up my hair is very long do you have a
camera over there tall get in closer yeah let's get get closer tj he's looking he like has this pep in his step this is this is Stephen Che I'll call my shot this
is Stephen Che being insanely confident about a question he's not even close to getting right and
then us begrudgingly taking that answer and getting it wrong and losing and him being like oh
I thought I had it don't put us in that spot, Che. You have to be humble.
We have to.
Is he still your final answer guy?
No, I'm the final answer guy.
Been doing good with that.
We've never beaten these guys.
Yeah, we have.
We haven't played Chicago yet.
We've beaten them.
Have we not?
We've never have.
We've not beaten you?
Chicago's beaten us.
You've never beaten us.
We've only lost to Chicago.
We're 0-3 to you.
And ZD, the two teams that are in this tournament.
We lost to ZD?
Yeah, dude.
Oh, yeah.
Well, in the script, you lose it in the first round.
Yeah.
Again, yeah.
In largest team, yeah.
So three losses.
Frank's doing some putting over here.
He's puttering around.
Yeah, yeah.
We'll see how Frank does.
There's a lot of people from New York out here.
It's a big operation.
I think we outnumber the Chicago people
Wow
And I didn't know it was like right out in the open
You can see right into the office
I like that
They're not
No mob?
Or they're not popping like that?
Maybe later
Be popping
Maybe later on there'll be a mob
I always thought they were popping like that
Because that's how they convey themselves
Yeah
You thought it'd be like TRL?
Yeah
You thought the streets would just be lined? Yeah, I mean if you're popping like It because that's how they convey themselves. You thought it would be like TRL? You thought the streets would just be lined?
Yeah.
I mean, if you're popping, it would be cool.
You can just go up and look at it.
We have two feet of Frank's putt.
Yeah.
He only hit it two feet.
Oh, that looks – who knows?
That looked good.
Oh, he thumbed up.
He thumbed up.
We don't know, though.
He's a known liar.
And cheat. He's he put his thumb up. He thumbed up. Not what we don't know, though. He's a known liar. And cheat.
He's a cheat and a liar.
What if Frank cheated in the live show?
My God, I don't even know.
I wouldn't put it past him.
Freaking cheat and liar.
Who's that, Nick Nurse?
That's my boy.
He is a sales guy.
He went to Kent State.
Andrew Meeks. Meeks. Me meeks he does look like nick nurse though i was just giving him a hard time of course i know meeksy meeksy meeksy
oh frank with the bank this this uh it is appealing to see this
the office in a new neighborhood especially i mean i don't know anything
about this neighborhood where we're at right now.
We're in Wrigleyville.
This is Wrigleyville?
Yeah, I mean, we're right on the edge.
Belmont is the edge, kind of.
Got you.
But it's starkly different from our neighborhood in New York.
Very, very different.
Everything here is nicer.
What's it comparable to, a neighborhood that you can contextualize for my dumb ass?
In New York?
Or anywhere else in the world?
I don't know.
First time here. You don't know. First time here.
You don't know, KB?
All the map studying you've been doing?
You can't fucking find an analogous city?
So if you walk south here, it's Lincoln Park.
If you walk north, it's Wrigleyville is Lakeview.
It's kind of actually not too dissimilar to that old town area in Philly.
Is that where we were staying?
Old City, yeah, yeah.
It's nice.
Yeah, I mean, and you could live, like I said, I used to live a block away from here.
Very nice place.
Can you compare this to a Wheeling, West Virginia neighborhood for me?
Okay, so that's going to be the Walmart.
Yeah.
No, not that one.
Oh.
Yeah, the other one.
Probably Woodstale.
With the biscuit store right in there.
So you know in that Walmart?
Yeah, there's an empty field behind it.
There's a cigarette wholesale shop?
Gumby's or Cherokee Food outlet?
No, the empty field behind Walmart.
By the CC's?
Oh, it's right before the Cabela's distribution center.
Correct.
It's that empty field.
Okay.
Oh, nice.
Very nice.
I like how there's like old ass houses, like old, like they look like they were built in
the late 1800s.
In Wheeling?
No, here.
Just a fucking slap.
Wheeling has very historic and nice Victorian homes.
Do they have new houses?
Is there anything new in Wheeling?
No.
They're building up new apartments.
How funny would it be if they just did like a skyscraper in Wheeling?
That would be awesome.
I've always thought about that.
I've always thought about that.
I've always loved the one in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.
This clock tower is gigantic.
Can we get that?
Oh, I saw two people dangling their feet off of it yesterday.
It looks so out of place.
It's so big.
But I've always wanted a skyscraper in like a rural town.
Yeah, just in the middle of nowhere.
Like a state-of-the-art glass-sided skyscraper.
Yeah.
Or like in Jupiter, Florida, how there's the hard rock cafe guitar, something like that
that they couldn't even fully build out because
planes would run into the top
of the guitar, the frets of the guitar.
Like if they just built one of those up in the middle of
West Virginia. What is this?
Abija Alzat?
Dude, and there's a picture that came
up of dudes dangling their feet. Is that Mecca?
So you can't tell. It doesn't look as
big as it is. No, when you see the dudes dangling their feet off of it, they're...
I think it's top three in the world.
Height?
Or up there?
Bro, I saw the oldest clock in the world, I want to say, in France.
Yeah?
What's that clock called?
Analog?
No.
No, analog.
Analog.
Do you search the oldest clock in France?
The one thing about clocks, as easy as it is to lose interest in them,
it's even easier to get sucked back into really being passionate about them.
Yeah.
Concierge.
Concierge clock.
No, that's not it.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Oldest public clock in Paris.
So there's another really old clock?
No, it's not Paris.
It's just France.
What's the oldest clock you've seen?
This one.
I want to find it.
Yeah, maybe it's that one.
Clock tower.
Astronomical clock tower. There's also the only other clock history I have is there's also the biggest What's the oldest clock you've seen? This one. I want to find it. Yeah, maybe it's that one. Clock Tower.
Astronomical Clock Tower.
There's also the only other clock history I have is there's also the biggest four-sided clock in Milwaukee.
Oh.
Did you know that?
No.
Oh, the clock tower is mecha.
Wait.
Click on Gros Holag.
That bad boy.
Second one.
Second one.
Second picture.
Yeah, that one.
Yeah, that's it.
You saw that?
That's it.
What? Dude, I saw that shit. That's it you saw that that's that's it what dude i saw that shit that's cool
that shit is cool people really get a better picture come on look at this shit people used
to really have to rely on clocks especially the town clock like they would it was like
that it'd be loud as fuck yeah and then you had to find a disfigured man to ring the bell
dude that's it that's the clock i saw. Le Gros Horloge.
What is it?
I'm surprised we don't have a clock at Barstool that Dave will hire just some twisted boy.
Yeah.
Mantis.
Physically twisted.
Mantis was a clock.
What's the claim to fame for this clock?
Because now I've got to get my clock.
I can't be going around and talking about this.
Oldest in France.
Oh, okay. one of the oldest
and it's the mechanism in it and his facade was added in 1529 i look up the milwaukee i think
that's the the largest i need i need at least one good clock fact i can drop on people like
have you ever seen this clock did that law ever get past the daylight saving sign is going to be
like abolished isn't that like actually going to the House of Representatives?
I think so.
That's something I'd cheer for
like I won the Super Bowl.
It's a four-sided clock.
Time zones are...
I was on the plane today.
I was looking at times.
Oh, fuck yeah.
That's pretty wicked.
Oh, it's the second largest clock.
Where's the first?
God damn it.
Where's the first? I've it. Where's the first?
I've never seen a cool clock.
You've never seen the number one?
I've seen one of the oldest clocks in France and the second largest four-sided clock.
You've never seen the Aeon G-Shock?
Yeah.
Fuck.
All right, what were you saying?
Time zones?
Oh, that they're not just, like, straight up and down.
Like, they, like, curve to the left and right, like, based on the countries that they're in. So one time zone
on the whatever
fucking date line
could be in a different spot.
It could be light out one place,
dark out another place.
Map shit like that blows my mind.
I saw someone tweet yesterday
that it's shorter distance
from New York City
to Savannah, Georgia yesterday that it's it's shorter distance from new york city to savannah georgia than from the tip
of the florida keys to the other end of the panhandle in florida and then if you drive all
of florida it's sure it's longer distance than flying from new york city to savannah that's
insane there's always like those diagonal tennessee yeah, Tennessee is closer to Canada than Memphis, Tennessee.
Yeah.
Jesus.
If you drive from Detroit to Washington, D.C. is less time than Detroit to the tip of the U.P.
Yeah.
Nice shit.
No one knows where Detroit is.
Detroit is very much like it's so close to it's like three hours from Buffalo.
Yeah. I think Grand Rapids is going to experience like an austin type wave really really no i don't damn no because the
austin type wave went to ashville ashville i got a buddy who lives in ashville yeah ashville's got
a big boom i don't know or denver maybe? It's closer to Denver. Denver already had it.
Denver had it in the 90s.
I'm trying to let him know what Asheville is.
Asheville's where everyone goes to live.
Folky people.
Yeah, they live in the mountains and a lot of breweries.
I think that's the key, right?
It's like almost, it's like Field of Dreams.
If you build a bunch of breweries, they'll come.
They'll come.
I think, didn't Asheville even get populated because one of the Vanderbilts had some kind of upper respiratory disease?
And they thought that the mountain air would clean out their respiratory tract.
And so they just built the Vanderbilt mansion there and then all the people just kind of populated it around them.
I like that.
It's probably completely made up.
That's like Hot Springs,
Arkansas, which I'm pretty sure the
people went there because they thought
the springs off the mountain
cured syphilis.
Oh.
Why are you here?
Made it way worse.
I love it here in Arkansas.
Yeah, they just got folliculitis from it.
I am interested, though, in cities like Savannah that are tropical-esque destination, high-end luxury cities within the United States that you don't really know or think about.
Have you gone to Savannah?
Never have.
It's awesome.
And I hear it's awesome.
Yeah, it's like Charleston, Savannah.
But they got big-ass trees.
That straightaway with the Forrest Gump trees, that's cool as well.
Is that Savannah?
Yeah, we did the drink paint video there, part of it. Oh, wow.
Yeah, Buddha Ben joint.
Shout out Buddha Ben.
We were just under those trees forever while he was like, do another take.
Yeah, he coaches hard, but he gets good results.
I mean, all his videos are the best, but during them, it's like, I want to kill you.
Yeah, but that's the process, though.
That's just how you make a great dish.
That's true.
At the end of a project, if you don't want to murder your director, shouting out Corey Rutledge, then it's not going to be a good video.
You want to murder Corey Rutledge?
At the end of videos, yeah, but I think he wants to murder me back.
Wait, is today 420?
Dude, I fucking spaced, bro.
No way.
I fucking spaced out, bro.
What?
What?
TJ, play Aqueous Transmission by Incubus.
What the fuck, dude?
I'll see if there's a karaoke version.
Can I tell you guys a secret that Kyle's not going to want me to say
because then we're going to have to use it?
No, I'm excited about this.
He's staying in room 420.
I am.
What the fuck?
Bro, we got to smoke it out tomorrow
and then put it at the end of this show.
No, we got to do it today.
Yeah?
No, what's 420?
Please, let's smoke it out.
I don't smoke, but do some gummies.
But how are we going to do it?
What time is everyone's flight?
Mine's at 1.30.
Tomorrow? Yeah. Mid 1.30. Tomorrow?
Yeah.
Midnight?
Midnight when?
When the clock strikes 4.20.
Yeah, we'll just be in there at midnight.
Tonight.
And we'll tape it?
Yeah, real quick.
Okay.
I mean, I'm down, but then we've got to put it in the end of this show?
Yeah.
Dude, I'm getting confused by the time.
I thought today was 4.20.
No, tomorrow is.
Well, today is. Today is. Today is. Today is. Fuck. Yeah, I'm getting confused by the time. I thought today was for no tomorrow
Is fuck I'm fucking scram to our 420 show sucked we talked about clocks
Fucking stoners are gonna love that. Yeah, like oh my god. That clock is so sick. Yeah, fuck All right, so we got it. So after are we gonna do that yeah hotbox it after on
youtube well can we just say it's not gonna be weed it's not actually why did you say weed no
one has said weed at all tj also i don't know if on the tech side that'll work i think we could
tweet it out but fuck you're sounding like me during the case race, bro.
I'm trying to run.
We really fucked up 420, huh?
Who's the
biggest stoner in here?
Kyle?
He's run by a million.
No, it's not, dude. Shut up.
Michelangelo?
If we tape it on the phone, we can use that for the promo
for the episode because it's not airing until 420.
But we can't put it in the episode.
We can't put it in the episode, but on social, that can be the promo to drive people to go to.
Yeah.
I think the moment's passed.
I think we've got to go just next year.
Maybe we just I think the only thing we can do now at this point is Kyle has to do a solo masturbation video in his room at 420.
Yeah.
Yeah.
With a grav bong.
Room 420.
You got to stick your dick in a grav bong.
We can't do weed on YouTube?
No.
A gravity bong episode would be so funny.
I would have to go to the hospital.
The only way you could do it is if nobody said it, you could walk out of the room and then come back.
Okay.
All right, so we should, though, do an edibles episode.
Yeah.
Weed wheel.
Weed wheel.
How you have to ingest it.
In New York, I think it's legal now, right?
There's been commercials about how to use.
I feel like you've been saying that for six years.
I know.
I just act like it is.
And everywhere it is.
I mean, if you're white.
It is legal in Illinois. It really is. All right, is. I mean, if you're white. It is legal in Illinois.
It really is.
All right, go to Bird Dogs.
Use promo code YAK.
Anyone wearing Bird Dogs?
No, but they are great to travel in.
I traveled in my flight pants.
Flight pants, Bird Dogs, best in the world.
Go to birddogs.com, promo code YAK.
Free Bird Dogs hat with your pair of Bird Dogs.
Oh, damn.
You'll not take these things off i promise
because i have not taken mine off i love bird dogs they are super super comfortable shorts
pants joggers the joggers are my absolute favorite uh also have a zipper pocket which is key yes so
do the shorts honestly the shorts have sneaky pockets all over the place yeah um we need to
do a wheel as well oh yeah what time is it, yeah, fuck. What time is it? Wet would be horrible. All right, we got 10 minutes. I didn't bring any other clothes.
It's cold.
Oh, I...
What would be the worst possible thing in the world right now?
Yeah.
Oh, fuck.
What about the boys at home?
What do they have to do?
Owen?
Nothing.
I don't think they have to do anything.
Technically, though, we wouldn't have to get wet.
Yeah, let's not do this.
Until tomorrow.
Until tomorrow.
Oh, you're right.
Yeah.
Okay, if we get wet wheel right now, here's what we'll do.
The end of this video will be all of us standing in Kyle's 420 room on 420 fully clothed in the shower.
Yep.
High as fuck.
High as fuck.
That's it.
That's the deal.
That's the deal.
That's very fair.
That's a very fair deal.
All of us in the shower together, 420, 420.
We're spinning tomorrow's wheel today Right
Oh cause we're gonna spin
A today wheel today too
Exactly
But then what happens
If we get reset
That's
Oh fuck
Then we just
The show ends
I think a black hole
Would happen
We're in a time loop
What if we all just like died
We just like
Delete it off
The face of the earth
Start fading away
Our brains aren't big enough
For this type of time travel
it's space time
it's space time shit
it's actual physics
oh we got
okay
oh
some bitty
oh shit
don't leave Kyle alone
two things
uh
Dana's
Dana's hose
two things
the shower
wait that's Caitlin
oh
whoops
sorry Brandon wasn't that like the original thing with Dana that like Two things. The shower. Wait, that's Caitlin. Oh, fuck. Sorry, Brandon.
Wasn't that like the original thing with Dana that Brandon was like,
don't mess with my sister or something like that?
Should we get Caitlin in and I should ask for my $100 back?
Yes.
Caitlin.
Sell it, though.
Don't.
Caitlin.
Dana.
She was hammered at the case race
Did no one hear me?
No, they actually must have soundproof
Speaking in pig language
Caitlin
Oh no, she was like, no, no, no, no
Steven, your hand gestures are insane
Hey Caitlin, real quick question
It's crazy
Caitlin was just enjoying her life
Just laughing, enjoying everything.
Can I get that $100 back?
You stole that from me.
Yeah, you can have it back.
Oh, fuck.
She's too nice.
Do you have it with you?
God damn it.
Never mind.
It's at my apartment.
I was joking.
I was joking.
Damn it.
You're too nice.
If there's an ATM and you have a card.
Yeah, it doesn't have to be the same $100.
Because he owes me for a bet, and I need the $100. Okay. We're joking. So you could just pay. Yeah, it doesn't have to be the same $100. Because he owes me for a bet
and I need the $100.
We're joking.
So you could just pay Kyle directly.
Okay.
What was your takeaway from the case race?
Do you remember?
Because you actually won the case race.
It's a great time.
All right, great.
And we had to bleep out your address.
I apologize for that.
No, you don't have to apologize.
You're apologizing to people who are drunker than you,
even though you were the drunkest person on the planet Earth.
Well, sometimes you just got to let loose.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
No shame in that.
Also, we were happy that a walker did show up to the case race.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is Brandon okay?
He seemed a little bit down yesterday.
I don't know.
I haven't talked to him in like too much.
We always ask each of them questions about the other,
and they always don't know because they don't communicate.
Oh, yeah.
I don't talk to him.
Why?
Should we get his dog a leash?
Yes.
Okay.
His dog always has a leash,
and he's always walking around with the leash,
but no one's ever holding the leash. Oh!
Yeah. That's a metaphor.
That's an interesting plot twist. Yeah.
Someone's gotta hold the... So we need
to get Brandon a person
to hold the leash. Yeah.
Like a dog walker. Why doesn't he just fucking...
Why doesn't he just tie like a cinder
block to the leash? Yeah or just stake in the
ground. No the stake in the ground doesn't work.
He'll chew through like... He'd chew through the rope or whatever.
He's just, he's a menace.
Oh, man.
Yeah, there's some keys.
Dang.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, thank you, Caitlin.
Wait, hold on.
Thank you for the flight.
Wait, Caitlin, Caitlin.
Going back in time.
Oh, yeah.
When I took quite a spill.
I don't remember. my moment of need where my
hip could have been shattered you slowly faded out of the picture that's right yeah it was like
the matt stafford when the the lady fell off stage the photographer he just threw his hands
i mean in fairness i guess nick did as well that that was my bad. Looking back at the video, I saw myself come on, and I was like, oh, I watched him fall.
It's not your responsibility to, you know, you're not Stephen Chase Keeper.
You're not a medic on the scene.
I never understood that.
What am I going to do, run up and, like, heal you?
Are you all right?
Someone get help.
That's actually the biggest turnoff to a woman is a klutz.
Women would rather have you cheat than be klutzy I'm just kidding
Nick went in the bathroom too
Alright thank you Caitlin
She books like a short story
Thanks bro
She books like a fucking epic
She gets it done fast
Yeah
Sag me one in minutes
A replacement flight? Yes Yeah. Sag me one in minutes.
A replacement flight?
Yes.
Really?
No, she was actually ride or die for you.
Because I was like, I was like texting.
I was like, hey.
No, it was in person.
I said, Kyle, I think missed his flight.
She was like, no, he was supposed to be eight.
She lied for you.
Wow.
That means a lot lot Lying for someone
What happens if we land on lunch
Well I guess get lunch
We'll get lunch
But then we can't eat it till tomorrow
Oh you're right
That is
Fuck
Let's get soup
No what's
What's the worst thing that would
Sushi
Some sushi
Yeah something raw
What if Kyle gets
Lands on
Finishes case That's tomorrow Oh yeah that's tomorrow It's all tomorrow Okay Sushi? Some sushi, yeah. Something raw. What if Kyle lands on Finish's case?
That's tomorrow.
It's all tomorrow.
Okay.
Slap is gone.
So take slap off, and what should we make it?
It should be something bad.
We're making it something bad.
New wheel.
Just say new wheel.
No, let's just do this whole loaf of bread in front of us for today.
Okay, perfect.
The baguette.
And then going forward, we'll make a new, I think it should just be a new wheel with
like all of the Lego one is very funny, the cleanup time.
Yeah.
Hold on.
There was another one that was.
A loaf of bread.
Can we do a wheel for someone who has to hit someone with a loaf of bread?
No.
No.
We just have to loaf to the face yeah to the face someone said uh pile wheel
loser had to wear something from the pile for the rest of the day so that actually triggered
that we should do pile wheel loser has to be like piled on the bottom of a dog yeah we have to all
pile on them for a minute and maybe they can wear something from the pile yeah mostly they'll be just getting men on top so that will be one of them and then
there was another one that said the loser has to like go up and down the elevator for the rest of
the episode that would suck you want to get people like want that want that yeah it's got to be
something we can watch all right so we have a couple good options all right swap clothes wheel
somebody said yeah that one's good all right so we'll figure out. It'll be like basically another wheel.
And maybe we can put slap on the other wheel.
So the odds of getting slap will be very, very low.
Actually, let's just get rid of slap.
Shin kick, though.
Ball tap.
I like everybody throwing something at someone's ball from far away.
I like that, too.
Let's avoid that.
Why?
Your perfect fucking balls.
Your fucking beyond reproached nutsack.
I want his perfect balls again.
No.
Always up in our face.
Catawampus balls as well.
Yours are not.
I had a hernia operation.
What did you just do?
I had a catawampus ball.
I had a scar on my groin.
One ball, one ball.
It's still visible. You have a scar on my groin. One ball, one ball. It's still visible.
You have a scar on your ball?
No, everybody has that.
No, I had a hernia operation.
Really? Sports?
Yeah, I think so.
Second grade.
Why do they make it seem like athletic, a sports hernia?
Isn't it just like your nut is in your body?
Yeah.
You swallow your nut.
What's sports about that?
I know.
My buddy got one during sex.
The sex he lost his virginity to.
Oh, never do it again.
Eric West.
Motherfucker.
I need to stop doing that.
Yeah.
Yeah, you just say names so openly.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And the woman at the airport, she did not try to fuck me.
I didn't try to fuck her.
No one was getting fucked.
It was just people being nice to each other.
No, no, that's too late because that lady was obviously about to see the catawampus balls.
I don't want the boys to catch wind.
Well, her face had the devil emoji.
I'll tweet her face out.
How are they going to know?
What college did he go to?
A very Barstool-centric area.
So, Boston.
Oh, UMass?
Or, like, maybe delaware university of delaware there's only
there's only so many costa rican frat boys and at this college i'd imagine oh no it was all good
wisconsin what college is it big 10 something big 10 it's got to be big 10 is a big 10 no it's not no you're listening to this and you're a Costa Rican frat boy at a
college in the Midwest or Northeast KB fucked your mom man the game is the game
was it you are I he would have done the same to me that's true he would have fucked you too. Was it? Right. It wasn't URI?
URI.
Okay, so that's far away from it.
That's cold.
Hot or cold?
Play hot or cold with the college with us.
No, no, no.
Why?
Was it Nova?
No.
She didn't see her catawampus balls, dude. Relax.
Florida school?
Also Southeastern?
Is it Florida school? No. There'd be all kinds of Costa Rican frat boys at a Florida school. Also Southeastern. Is it Florida school?
No.
There would be all kinds of Costa Rican frat boys at a Florida school.
Good deduction, Nick.
Way to go.
All right, spin this wheel.
Have you guys seen any of the Barstow Idol rejected submissions?
No.
Wait, where is this?
Stats got them.
Stats showed me some of those contestants, though.
We have an Instagram model. We got to do a meeting. Verified. me some of those contestants, though. We have like an Instagram model.
We got to do a meeting.
Verified.
Noon, Friday.
Hell no.
Not on my watch.
Everyone good with that?
I saw one of the videos, and I'm worried that the people are going to be obnoxious in how
bad they want the job.
Well, we will.
In what way?
Isn't that the point?
The good thing with the Yak.
I know.
That's the problem.
Yeah. the good thing with the problem yeah the yak hosting barstool idol is very good because
it's a good combination of like i feel awful for anyone who tries and fails so like i i always am
like oh yeah keep going it's like dude there's never gonna work but we have enough people behind
me that are like that guy sucks here's what we won't have to because if i did it i would literally
hire everyone and then they none of them would suck and i'd be like oh i tried and that would ruin
your coaching correct um i have a feeling we're going to lose track of that we're going to have
to work with this person and so we're going to choose a real stinker a real stinker oh
literally a catawampus personality maybe we we'll have Jerry sniff test all of them.
That would be one of our...
That's what we got to bring.
I don't want it to be straight down the middle,
people trying to get a job,
performing their talents,
and we judge them based on how good they are.
What are we looking for, though?
Are we looking for the most talented?
Are we looking for the most personality?
Are we looking for someone that's very barstool?
Are we looking for someone that's going to fit in with us?
What is our criteria?
Someone who we think would
succeed at the job. But I think we have to give them
various assignments. A book report?
Or no, a science fair.
I think there's different... Also, you described
one type of person.
Like, there are...
There's a person I would hire
that would be go-with-the the flow, relatively funny, normal guy.
There's a person I'd hire that's just a weirdo who has nothing but being a weirdo.
And if I think their weirdo has longevity, it's like, yep, that would be great.
Or someone who's very talented.
Or a woman.
That's something.
Well, their woman could be the weirdo, too. Yeah, because she's not a guy.
Yeah, that's the weirdest thing about it.
A penisless man.
What happens to you once a woman?
It wouldn't be terrible if we had a woman every now and then on the
yak. Yeah.
Just every now and then. Yeah, when we do that.
Caitlin?
Yeah, we just had a woman.
Yeah, we just did.
I mean, Barstool Chicago
just got their first woman. Yeah, we just did. We do it every once in a while. I mean, Barstool Chicago just got their first woman.
Yeah, that's true.
And where is she?
She's chained up in the back.
Yeah, where is...
No, they have actually a lot of women.
Well, Sydney's here all the time.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sydney's a fucking badass.
All right, let's do it.
Spin it.
Food wheel loaf.
Looks different.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
No way.
No way.
No way.
Come on.
Okay.
Oh, this is any seven drinks.
Yes.
It has to be equal to the alcohol percentage, I think, of your seven drinks.
I think I'll just throw this out there.
I think it would be funny if you did it on today's show that we're about to start and didn't say it.
To them.
Wait, wait, what do you mean?
All right, so we're about, this is where the time travel gets weird.
We're about to do yesterday.
We just finished tape.
We're finishing taping this show that we're going to air tomorrow.
People just saw the end of this show and saw
that you had to drink seven drinks
I think
the two options are one you could do it on
Thursday when we're all back in the office or
if you started right now but didn't
tell anyone for the live show
and then they find out at the end of the show on Wednesday
right that would make the that's a
cool thing for the viewer right like if you just
were casually drinking for the next hour and a half and didn't say anything about it let's get you some uh malort
and let's just have you like casually pound malort do you want to do that option i could
run around the corner get some sake i could do that yeah okay I'll do Shockey Bombs with you. Shockey's right there.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah, Kyle, get wasted.
No.
You have to. All right, do it Thursday.
Do it Thursday.
No, just do seven drinks.
You will not be wasted.
Seven right now.
All right, so you're going to start seven right now.
Yeah.
All right.
That's our show from Tuesday that's airing Wednesday.
From Chicago. And now you can go watch you can re-watch tuesday
no now knowing that kyle was shit-faced the whole time yes wiser than younger you
actually can we do tj is there a way that we could maybe edit a little bit of tuesday like
kyle like just a super cut of kyle drinking and if he gets a little bit tipsy some drunk things and just
put at the end of this show
I don't know I would have to check
with whoever's posting this show I think that
they're just posting it straight from the live like
scheduling it right away
for tomorrow yeah but I think
they're just taking this live stream and sending it right
to YouTube scheduled for tomorrow from here what
about us getting fucking stoned
see if we can have a post show to YouTube scheduled for tomorrow from here. What about us getting fucking stoned? We can't do that on YouTube.
YouTube will fuck us up.
See if we can have a post show.
Yeah.
All right, okay.
All right.
See everyone Thursday.
We'll be back in the office on Thursday.
Yeah, see if we can do a post show
because that would be funny to do. It's the act.