The Yak - The Raw Dogger Re-claims His Title As The King Of The Dogs | The Yak 4-14-22

Episode Date: April 14, 2022

Raw Doggin the YakYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello, hello everyone. Papaya dog fucked me in the ass. So the hot dogs will be here in about 10-15 minutes, Frank. We'll start the second they get here. You have one hour to try to beat Stephen Chay's record to become the hot dog king of the yak. Look at that.. Look at that.
Starting point is 00:00:46 You look at that. Yes. And in a third is the magic number. Can you do it? Magic number? Yeah. You know, it's going to be tough. I really can't eat fast.
Starting point is 00:00:58 It's not fast, though. You have an hour. I'll do the best I can. That's all we ask. If he doesn't beat me and jerry does he get the piss wallet oh yeah the what uh jerry errone pissed on two dollar bills and jerry because he lost had to put it in his wallet oh i think jerry has those still i think he probably has them down in florida with him or something maybe he brings him back from florida maybe jerry
Starting point is 00:01:23 brings him back how's everyone feeling there brings him back. How's everyone feeling? There's a lot of tension, buzz, energy. This is a competition. Just to remind everyone, tonight is the night we're doing the case race. It will be airing live on the Yak YouTube account tomorrow at 1 p.m. regular time. We did this because of our schedules. We're going to be going as long as we want tonight.
Starting point is 00:01:51 There's no limit, so it could be a long show tomorrow. There will be no spoilers. We're actually going to go complete radio silent mode. We're all going to put our phones in a bag, which will make the show great because no one will be futzing around with phones we'll just be drinking beers hanging out with the boys everything's set, the teams are set
Starting point is 00:02:11 the face painter's coming we have Dana Beers, we have Jeff D'Lo's trivia why do some people have to get here two hours early to face paint that was a question we've been found the meanest face painter of all time. They better be damn good.
Starting point is 00:02:26 There's one face painter. Why was there only... Crazy Tux. No, who has something in their mouth? Stop. Stop immediately. That's like, that sets me off. Tromex.
Starting point is 00:02:36 Tromex. Tromex. That makes a difference. There's one face painter. It takes eight to ten minutes per person to do an adult face and there's 10 or 11 of us. We had the other people coming in. It was like 30 seconds. Wait. I was told we couldn't use them. How much are we paying this
Starting point is 00:02:51 person? A couple hundred. A hundred. We also have to buy a pie and a pizza. They deserve probably more. I would imagine. Wait, we're getting the pizza at the end, right? Yeah. Okay. The losing team has to... So the case race is going to go as such. I would imagine Wait we're getting the pizza At the end right Yeah Okay Yeah
Starting point is 00:03:05 For the losing team Has to So the case race Is gonna go as such Five teams Dana can't lose Cause he's here for vibes But he can win
Starting point is 00:03:13 He can win 24 beers Per team Except for the booth Has 30 Cause I saw some people Being like the booth's Gonna kill
Starting point is 00:03:22 I mean they only They each have to drink Two less beers But TJ like literally Has to work during the show. That's right. Update graphics and everything. And TJ, if we find you derelict on your duties, you will be penalized.
Starting point is 00:03:33 If you're not cutting, if you're not fucking fast-cutting Michael Bay-type shit. Jay will be cutting clips, and Zaz bitch-made. Murphy's Law. You made a powerful enemy, Nick. I should not have said that. Everyone, please subscribe to the Yak YouTube channel because we're taping it and we're airing it tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:03:54 I think all of us will. We're not going to be in the office, so everyone will probably be in the YouTube chatting along with people when it's live. Big time. Oh, yeah. Yucking it up. Yucking it up.
Starting point is 00:04:04 It's going to be great. Also, don't spoil it if you watch it, right? Yeah. Don't spoil it if you watch it. There will be no spoilers from us. What do you mean, spoil it? If you watch it... Yeah, don't be like...
Starting point is 00:04:17 Watch it live? I guess it's probably hard not to. It doesn't really matter. What's going to be... It's not going to be... It's going to be like a YouTube premiere, so it's not going to be something that people can fast forward to see the finish.
Starting point is 00:04:28 When it starts at 1 o'clock, it will be airing as if live. And Frank said that YouTube premieres do work. I love YouTube premieres. I premiere almost all my videos on YouTube. I do my Soda Reviews premiere. I do my Hot Dog Reviews I do my hot dog reviews premiere. Love it. Absolutely brilliant.
Starting point is 00:04:47 I premiere my two podcasts, Barstool Units. Frank, I have a question. Allow me to be frank. Allow me to be frank. Allow me to be frank. Go ahead now. What's the worst thing you've ever done content-wise? What's something you really think sucked?
Starting point is 00:05:03 Trick question. Nothing. I don't think there is any. That's what I was expecting. Man is a beast. You wouldn't post it if it sucked. No misses. Or would you?
Starting point is 00:05:16 You know, my cooking videos, which I need to do another one soon. You know, I'm not the best cook in the world, but... But the videos are good. The videos are outstanding. They are. They are.
Starting point is 00:05:30 They are that. They are. You should cook some fish, Frank. I don't really eat fish. Yeah, but just cook it. Easy to cook. Yeah, so, I mean, a bronzino would be incredible. That's probably harder to cook.
Starting point is 00:05:41 I mean, I got grills at my new apartment place, and I think I'm going to have to figure out how to start grilling. Yeah. Oh, yeah. All you have to do is put the food on it, and it kind of does its own work. You just have to look at it from time to time. Grilling's pretty easy. Flip it, maybe.
Starting point is 00:06:01 I thought about buying a prime rib, And even on sale it's like $75 Yeah For a whole prime rib? Yes Damn Wow And that's ShopRite I mean I'd pay $75
Starting point is 00:06:14 If it was at like Stuhl Enners or something like that But It's probably a write off They were like wrapped in Like they were like double wrapped It was like they were re-wrapped I don't trust food when it's double wrapped. What shop right do you go to? Usually the one in Nutley or Lindhurst.
Starting point is 00:06:32 Nutley, now tell me if I'm wrong, that is a population of very racist Italians. It's got Italians. You go shopping, right, KB? I do. Do you go shopping? You ever go shopping, right, KB? I do. Yeah, do you go shopping? You ever go shopping? Yep. DJ, have you ever seen a video of KB shopping? This was insane.
Starting point is 00:06:53 When was this? This was insane. This was this morning. This was this morning. I just got done working. That's why I was sweaty. And I was shopping for IPAs. It looked like a withdrawal sweat.
Starting point is 00:07:05 Yeah, I was shaking too. Okay, you were shopping for IPAs. Let looked like a withdrawal sweat. Yeah, I was shaking too. Okay, you were shopping for IPAs. Let's look at the goods you have. A goddamn Carlsberg. No, no. So here's the thing. He did it to me. This is the second take.
Starting point is 00:07:17 I acted that one. Watch. He has 2.2 million followers. Look, that's your water, man. It's mine. Dude. What? No, what the fuck?
Starting point is 00:07:34 Oh, what the fuck? Can we pause on this? Dude, what the fuck? What's your dick look like, homie? What's your dick look like? Oh, whoa. What's the rendy? I wouldn't, nah. It's mine It's mine
Starting point is 00:07:50 He was like He was I think African French So what the fuck? Yeah, dude Wait, this is just another video, isn't it? No, this is the same video He just kept on
Starting point is 00:08:02 Doing it The first time he did it to me, I was so terrified because he didn't do it that way. He was just lingering by me and kept reaching by me and staring at me with the craziest eyes I've ever seen. And I was terrified. That was a natural reaction.
Starting point is 00:08:18 Why were you scared? That's never happened to me. That's not how humans behave. You're like a wrestler. Here it comes. It's mine. You fight, behave. You're like a wrestler. Here it comes. It's mine. You fight, though. We got to get a vote. It wasn't like a fighting thing.
Starting point is 00:08:30 I gave him the runaround. I was like, is this guy homeless and crazy? Then I looked at him. I didn't even see his phone. He's good at what he does. Then he kindly asked me if I would do it again. And he made me grab for the green beer, which I never would have gotten. Yeah, that was a dead you did a pretty good job then acting
Starting point is 00:08:49 because you look like a bitch Oh big time you did look like I was at a bitch oh yeah take that you should have that's my quarterback on the second try you should have just fucking taken him down to the ground. No, he was a nice man. So what did he say to you? He was like, can we do that again? He was like, do you care if you do it again this time you act like... Oh, don't ruin it. That's the game.
Starting point is 00:09:13 That's the game. That's what these guys do. That's what they do. Pilsner at 8 a.m. Was that vodka in your other hand? Did you have vodka in your other hand? Or was that water? It was water.
Starting point is 00:09:25 So did you end up getting an IPA? No. That threw me off. You ever going to go back to, was that Jubilee? I go there three times a day. Okay. By my apartment. Which Jubilee is it?
Starting point is 00:09:36 I didn't know it was a chain. Oh, shit. I'm just trying to figure out where you live. 33 Gold. I'm moving out. My rent went up $1, shit. I'm just trying to figure out where you live. I might drop by. 33 Gold. I'm moving out. My rent went up $1,000. You live on Gold Street? You do, too.
Starting point is 00:09:53 Don't make me. Dogs are almost here. Yeah. Do we spin the wheel before the dogs get here? By the way, are we spinning the wheel every hour? Have we thought about what this is going to do to us if we end up having to do a wet wheel? It'll do nothing. I think a certain point.
Starting point is 00:10:07 I'd like to get wet out of the way if I'm wasted. Yeah, no, it'd be very interesting if we wet wheel in the middle of the case race. It won't happen because I hope we get a wheel reset. Yeah. I was having late night delusions last night about a live show where we have a wheel and each sliver of the wheel has like little wheels on it or something like that and you're like you spin a wheel and like something small happens within the wheel or something Rube Goldberg that's something by the
Starting point is 00:10:35 way chase interpretation of a dream I've added another punishment for the losing team so the losing team's gonna have to eat a pie and then we'll finish the show but the losing team's going to have to eat a pie, and then we'll finish the show. But the losing team will also have to have a sliver of the wheel, daily wheel going forward, and if it hits on them, they have to finish the amount of beers that they have left over. So if you have, like, four left over in your case and you lose, it lands on your tiny sliver. Like in two weeks, it could be like a Tuesday. You just have the drink.
Starting point is 00:11:00 You have to finish your case. It's good because it's not that, like, nobody's going to be that far away. Well, it incentivizes no one to, you know, be like, ah, fuck it, I'll just try to win trivia at the end. I also think the losing team has to stay till sunrise. That was a, I don't know about that. Don't lose. Don't lose.
Starting point is 00:11:19 Just don't lose. It's really easy. Not going to, bro. And I think that stays on the wheel, though, until we do another case race for Sass's 22nd birthday. Yeah. So it's literally on the wheel for the rest of the year. But what happens when they just finish the beers?
Starting point is 00:11:34 They have to do it again if it comes. Oh, that number stays. Yes, it does. Remaining, yeah. So it incentivizes you to drink four beers. Yeah, right. Like if you have, say, let's say the losing team has eight beers left, there could be nine times the rest of the year where you get a random,
Starting point is 00:11:52 oh, got to drink eight beers. Don't lose because losing is a choice. Yes. Placing first through second to last is entirely talent and skill based, but losing is a mental choice where you give up. It's so easy to just not be the worst. Who are these people? These are Jeannie Bouchard,
Starting point is 00:12:09 who I'm interviewing at 230. I didn't call her the B word. Short one. Frank, who do you think is going to win this race? This case race. Especially if you looked at the odds that just popped up on... I think it's on, yeah, there's the odds right there. Case race, let's see.
Starting point is 00:12:29 What are you pointing at, Roan? Also, another rule that's going to be very fun is there's going to be, each team gets one timeout, two-minute timeout. And during your timeout, you can drink, but the rest of the entire team can't. I am going to guess that Owen and KB are going to be the winners. I think we will. That's a bold take. You can't chug. I can win.
Starting point is 00:12:52 What does that mean? You know, what the fuck? That's what you're going to say when I'm beating you. Ew, no. What the fuck? I had a chance He gave me a chance To say whatever I wanted
Starting point is 00:13:07 And that was How I played it off I think you were still nervous I was I was terrified He just turned you into A grade A goofy You know
Starting point is 00:13:14 Speaking of going to grocery store You know what I was actually Pleasantly surprised yesterday What's that Oh tell us I was at the Nutley Shoprite And They have now
Starting point is 00:13:22 At the One bite Pizza At the Nutley Shoprite Oh my goodness have now the one-bite pizza at the Nutley Shoprite. Oh, my goodness. Made it. Wow. Did you get any? Yeah, of course.
Starting point is 00:13:30 All right. I give it a 9.9. There's one company man in here. Here we go. Looks like the dogs are here. When does the clock start? Right as soon as we get them. As soon as he bites his first bite?
Starting point is 00:13:44 Yep. Grab them if they're here one hour yep I won't be having any side dogs I'm gonna have one for Frank I would love a dog yeah I got 20 oh there's some room Frank is there 10 in there all righty all right I just want to remind you Frank, the 49 and a half moment was a bad one. Let's try to... All right, let's get... And there should be ketchup and mustard on all those for you, Frank. Nope, there's not. I think just sauerkraut.
Starting point is 00:14:14 All right, Frank, you ready to go? All right, here we go. It looks like it's got a nice little... Yeah, let's hope... Time starts 1-16, go. Where are these from again? Pie Dog. Pie Dog.
Starting point is 00:14:24 All right, Frank, and he's off. He's off. Remember the hummus dog? Oh, wow. So, Frank, let's just do a quick inventory. See how he leaned forward in his seat like a gamer? So, I'm a small guy stand. Wait a minute.
Starting point is 00:14:43 It's like a small guy stand. TJ, move the box. Please. All right, so if you finish everything. Feet, feet. You look like you're standing up. Feet, please. If you finish everything on your table right now, that would be ten.
Starting point is 00:15:03 Yes, Frank. Frank, what would you rank the dogs? How's the snap? I'd give maybe a double or triple. What if I told you those are beyond meat? Oh, come on. They're not beyond meat. No, they're not beyond meat.
Starting point is 00:15:14 You ruined my dog. I'm sorry. Bro, you don't have to be a dick already. Bro, eat the convertible. I don't want the convertible. You got to eat the convertible, bro. I'm sorry, dude. You want me to eat that now?
Starting point is 00:15:24 Skinny ass dog. I'm sorry, bro. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, dude. You want me to eat that now? Skinny ass dog. I'm sorry, bro. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Today is the wrong day to do that to you. Wait, has Sass had a hot dog Jerry style yet? No. You want me to Jerry style it for you?
Starting point is 00:15:34 I know what Jerry style is. I know. I don't know. Do you? You just squeeze the bun really aggressively. I'm going to Jerry style this one. Mm-hmm. One down. One down for Frank the Tank. One down.
Starting point is 00:15:45 One down for Frank the Tank. One down. And? A minute 25 seconds it took for the first one. My man is a beast. At this pace, it'll take 18 minutes. Why not? A minute and 25 seconds per dog.
Starting point is 00:16:03 Oh. Ah! Catch me on that! Fuck it, Jay! Wow. Bad. When will you tell all your friends you got your gun to your head?
Starting point is 00:16:17 There's no wishful thinking. Spin that wheel. Wishful thinking, let's go. Do we have to sit by our teammates? How are we going to sit? What type of formation are we going to get in? I think we should sit by our teammates. Do you not want to sit by me?
Starting point is 00:16:32 Do you think I reek? I want to. I think Owen should sit where Sass is. Sass should sit right here. And then you sit where Owen is. And Dana will be where Frank is. Yeah. Yes.
Starting point is 00:16:44 I think we should decide what we're getting our face painted as. That should be betwixt the two. You think? We have like an hour right now. Well, we're also watching a man accomplish a great feat. I'm going to be both of Siegfried and Roy's tigers, I've decided. I'll be Siegfried and Roy then. Okay, perfect.
Starting point is 00:17:02 Yeah. Like a tiger on this side of the face and a tiger on this. Not my face is a tiger, but two half-tigers. Two halves of a tiger. You should have a little bit of Roy's face inside your mouth. Dangling out of the mouth. Or no, one of the tiger's mouths, not mine. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:17:17 That was a good-ass hot dog. Frank, keeping pace. A little behind pace on the second one. Sorry, Frank. You got an hour? Are you pushing yourself, or are you kind of going willy-nilly? Pacing myself. He's pacing himself, guys.
Starting point is 00:17:31 He's pacing himself. I'm just asking what the strategy is, because, like, people— Oh, Frank, your face doesn't look so happy right away. I'm doing the best I can. Four minutes in, Frank. Frank, if at any point you want to tap, you can tap. There's no pressure here whatsoever. You're not being forced to do this.
Starting point is 00:17:51 It's more of a we're forcing you type of situation. Spin the wheel because we're going to forget. And then people are going to get really mad. We need a wheel theme song, I think. Yeah? Like Hollywood. Something like that, Frank? Or what are you thinking?
Starting point is 00:18:08 Hollywood. I'm dead. Yeah, that'll be it. What type of genre? It's the yak wheel spinning around. Yak wheel. Will someone get wet and drown? Oh.
Starting point is 00:18:26 Jack wheel. Hoping to stay dry. It's rolling, rolling, rolling. Oh, Jack wheel. Hey, good live cut. It's one of those days. We should have. Roan, you should battle rap against Frank. Yeah, I was just going to say...
Starting point is 00:18:45 Frank's got bars. Yeah. I don't want to know what Frank really thinks about me. The depths of how negative he could get about me. How are you feeling? I feel sharp. Yeah? I'm going to take a long walk after a couple meetings today
Starting point is 00:18:58 and really go over it all. Yeah. Like Stephen King. One of his best novels. What's that? The Long Walk. You guys remember... Have you guys ever done a case race? Do you remember how much it sucks?
Starting point is 00:19:08 They suck. They do? I've never done one. Tom Tom is so cool. I've never done one. It is, if I remember correctly, now it's been like 15 years, but I remember doing it in college and like finishing four beers and being like, well, this was stupid. I like that with like power hours too.
Starting point is 00:19:22 Yeah. Yeah, but like this really sucks. Way less. Oh, there's definitely an element where it's going to suck. Yeah, it's not comfortable. No. There's going to be a certain point where we're holding back our piss with all of our might. We have timeouts to use.
Starting point is 00:19:36 Friendships will be lost. Piss in the room. No, you can't piss in the room. You can piss in your pants. I only piss during timeouts. I'm pissing in the room. I'll piss myself. Pissing is a thing. Yeah, we're going to have to piss. I'm going to piss. There piss during timeouts. I'm pissing in the room. I'll piss myself. The pissing is a thing.
Starting point is 00:19:45 Yeah, we're going to have to piss. I'm going to piss a lot. There's five timeouts. Oh, yeah. Five pisses, 12 beers. Yeah. How many beers is that a piss, Jay? You better hope it's not a line at the toilet.
Starting point is 00:19:55 Sorry, what's that? Five timeouts and... 12 beers, five piss breaks. All right. Maybe we'll add a spot on the wheel because we're going to be spinning it every hour for a piss break. It's fair. Maybe we should make a really small sliver.
Starting point is 00:20:09 It's a piss break every six beers, basically. For us, it'll be every six beers. How are you bad at math? You're supposed to be a math guy. That wasn't an Asian joke. That wasn't an Asian joke. That was a data thing. It's a math guy. Why? That wasn't an Asian joke. That wasn't an Asian joke. You're a data guy. That happens to be Asian. That was a data thing. All right.
Starting point is 00:20:28 It's a data thing. Sorry, I was caught off guard there. Seriously, how the fuck are you bad at math? I'm good at math. No, you're not. That's two wrong math problems today. Give me math.
Starting point is 00:20:39 What's five cubed? 25. No, 125. Fuck. I told you. I got that. You played that off his years. Any math guy instantaneously.
Starting point is 00:20:50 Zaza's masters. He's very smart. Yeah? We know that. Yeah. You don't have to say it like it's some revelation. That's why we're not asking him the problem. My boy is down with three.
Starting point is 00:21:01 He picked up the pace on that one. He did. He found his second wind. Don't remember, Frank. If you want to tap at any point, you can tap. As he reaches for another dog. All right, spin the wheel. Defiant.
Starting point is 00:21:15 He is. He's a monster. Oh, I don't like this positioning at all. Not even a little bit. Come on, baby. Come on, baby. Come on, baby. Give it to us. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:29 Damn. We're getting wet tonight. Or slapping each other, which would be way funnier. That's fine. Yeah. Slapping is not that bad. When we're drunk.
Starting point is 00:21:37 So we'll add a bathroom break. Drunk slap. I mean, I think you add a bathroom break to the wheel. Wait, but so is the bathroom break, do you have to piss right then, or can you save it and use it for whatever?
Starting point is 00:21:51 No, it will be a break that everyone can go piss. So you have to go piss right then. So you can use it strategically. Okay, here's the rule, right? Yes, on the wheel, yes. Every team's team's gonna have a timeout and the timeout means that everyone but your team can drink or your your team can be the only team drinking for two minutes i also think you you have to we have to also sustain a riff so if you go like a minute or two yeah agreed without riffing it has to be a gentleman's game of like, no one can just be focused solely on drinking.
Starting point is 00:22:27 It has to be still a show. I agree with that, KB. And we could throw in some fucking hoops or some shit. Yeah. I think we do also have a video to watch that the Game Time team is doing. Are we doing that? I think so. So they're giving away a $10,000 gold-plated PS5.
Starting point is 00:22:45 Yes. And they askedated PS5. Yes. And they asked us to help. Yeah, so we're going to be watching. It's our characters, right? It's like seven Barstool personalities made in the game, and people can enter to win a PS5 by using a hashtag that correlates to whoever would win. Who are the people? Who are the people in the game?
Starting point is 00:23:02 I can look it up. Is it the eight people on the show other than me? Four. Four for Frank. Four dogs. Four. Oh, my God. That fourth dog was fast as fuck.
Starting point is 00:23:12 That was an impressive fourth dog. Are you catching your groove, Frank? How are you feeling? Starting to get full. Oh. I mean, you could take a massive break. You could take a 20-minute break. You didn't pace yourself.
Starting point is 00:23:23 This is what Jerry did. Jerry ate five dogs in about 10 minutes and was puking by dog seven. You see, when I usually eat hot dogs, it's typically three or four dogs. Alright, so you're at the regular... You take ten minutes off and then do four more and then take ten minutes off.
Starting point is 00:23:40 Like I said, I'm going to do the best I can. Maybe do a lap, burn some calories to get that hunger going again. Not a bad idea. That may not be a bad idea. Yeah. Wow. There's a chance that might not be a bad idea.
Starting point is 00:23:52 A deer. Okay, so what is it? A deer. Why with one of the hashtags below? So this is going to be, so we're running, the video's set, and we're going to be running it during the case race. It's like a 10, 15-minute video, but we'll obviously still be on screen. We'll be able to watch it and talk about it,
Starting point is 00:24:08 which will actually be a very good break in the action. It's a real PS5. I saw it. It's gold-plated. That's sick. If you want to enter one in it, tweet out one of these hashtags. Whoever wins, somebody from that hashtag gets picked away. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:20 Anyway, how is it determined who wins? It's a seven-man battle. Is it randomized, or is somebody— It's like a computer a seven-man battle. Is it randomized or is somebody... It's like a computer simulation. Okay, cool. Oh, so I actually have a chance. So do I. Isn't it convenient?
Starting point is 00:24:32 Are you using a handkerchief? I always use handkerchiefs. We were talking about that recently. Invented after the match. Far after. Now, the snot remains in the kerchief. You do wash it. Yes.
Starting point is 00:24:48 You fold it. You just fold it in. Fold it over in it. Yeah. Square it back up in your pocket. I mean, that guy bothers me. Oh, he's, like, in charge now. Do you see?
Starting point is 00:24:58 Did you see the group he's running with? Dude, he and Kelsey were having a meeting in the part of my take studio. I went in to grab something. I've never felt more unwelcome in my own home. Who was it? They're like, oh, did you need something? I was like, not him. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:12 Who was it? I don't know. His picnic table boy. This feels like office space where they hire the guy to fire everyone. Yeah. He's walking around like he's. We got to get Hank to fire him. I'm not worried.
Starting point is 00:25:25 All of our jobs are very secure. Yeah. No one's ever done that. Iron-clad type. He doesn't hate me anymore. Frank, is it true you're supposed to carry a handkerchief in your breast pocket for the woman and your back pocket for you? I don't have a breast pocket.
Starting point is 00:25:42 Fucking idiot. He's going to fuck himself. For sure, for sure, for sure. Moron. You're such a moron. Fucking idiot. Fucking stunt. Moron. Oh my god, Owen. Imagine being Owen. I can't believe you said that. I was about to throw some fits this summer, though.
Starting point is 00:25:57 But just think about this. It's Kleenex. It's hard to find. You may not have a Kleenex. Stuff behind your pocket and it works. Yeah. I can readily obtain it works. Yeah. I can readily obtain a tissue. Yeah, but then you can throw it out. That's why I'm privileged. I don't have to do the laundry.
Starting point is 00:26:14 Yeah, I have to throw it out. You have to do the laundry. Yeah, so, but laundry is reusable. It's ecological. It's eco-friendly. Frank Fleming and Leonardo DiCaprio, two guys just trying to save this planet. They care about their carbon footprint.
Starting point is 00:26:28 He does plastic soda bottle reviews every day. You guys think Leonardo DiCaprio thinks he's single-handedly saving the world? I think he thinks he's God. No, he thinks he's better than you. It's like his favorite song. Oh, yeah. And he's not. And sass?
Starting point is 00:26:41 Yeah. You know Leo's song is, I'm better than you. I'm better than you. I'm better than you. My shit doesn't stink. What do you think? I'm better than you. I'm better than you.
Starting point is 00:26:58 Keep going. You're a goddamn fool. I'm better than you. Better than you. I'm better than you. Very nice you. I'm better than you. Very nice. That was great. That does remind me of Leonardo DiCaprio.
Starting point is 00:27:11 Yeah. Perfect. Better than all of us. He's better than us. By the way, while you were singing that song, you almost finished your fifth dog. Pretty impressive multitasking. Singing helps compress the confidence in the stomach
Starting point is 00:27:26 Kiro Kobayashi does that Kelly Clarkson those two birds of a feather she is not Kelly Clarkson anymore she's gone by her husband's last name good for her Avril Lavigne's getting married to
Starting point is 00:27:43 Modson she's going through the list Mod him. See Avril Lavigne's getting married to Mod Sun? She's just going through the list. Whoa. Mod Sun? Yes, Avril Sun. She went from Kroger to Mod Sun? She started with Wembley. With Wembley?
Starting point is 00:27:53 There's another big one in there, too. I forget who. She had another very famous person in her body count. Fuck. Who was it? It was before Kroger and after Wembley. God, and I just saw her. She looks incredible. Looks great. She just got engaged in Paris. Fuck, who was it? It was before Kroger and after Wembley. God, and I just saw her.
Starting point is 00:28:07 She looks incredible. She looks great. She just got engaged in Paris. What was in between Derek and Chad? Those are like the two most... Those are two good husband names. Derek and Chad. Derek and Chad. Five, five done.
Starting point is 00:28:18 There was a place called... She went to Maud. There was a place in Kansas called Taco Derek's. Yeah, that was wild. They're so devoid of culture, they couldn't think of a Hispanic name. Taco Derrick's. It's a great name. Kids know that taco's probably not going to taste good.
Starting point is 00:28:34 No. Why? Taco Derrick's? Taco Derrick? Why? Brody Jenner. Brody Jenner? Brody?
Starting point is 00:28:41 There was some taco-ish Derrick's in the MLB. Ryan Cabrera. Cody Jenner. Cody Jenner? Cody? There is some taco-ish. Pete Jonas. In the MLB. What are you? Ryan Cabrera. These are all people that Avril Lavigne was either dated or was married to. He just got married. Whoa. He did just get married. By the way, TJ, I just sent you a tweet. Can you put it up?
Starting point is 00:28:55 Nick has entered the sanctions on Russia game. I don't know if you saw this, Nick. Fucking huge news. What? Yeah, you're on the fight against Putin. That's good. What do you think this could be about? Probably somebody that looks like me. It's actually something
Starting point is 00:29:12 that you would never guess in a million years, but it is. The minute I saw the tweet, I thought, Nick. Oh, shit. Okay. You know, I remember at the beginning of the show, people were asking what the worst content is on my YouTube channel. Now, this isn't on my YouTube channel. It's cut.
Starting point is 00:29:26 Hello, everyone. We were all asking. It was kind of... Now, I have done many podcasts. I've appeared on many different podcasts. And one of them that was just like the most pain-inducing was Mikey Betts. I think some of us are familiar with him out of Chicago. Good guy.
Starting point is 00:29:44 Good guy, yes. Sounds like it, yeah. He had Joe Ganascoli on once, and he brought me on to talk about something from New Jersey. The guy in the show is Mikey Betts. He's saying betting is wrong. I don't know why everyone talks about Betts. And the show he's on is called Mikey Betts.
Starting point is 00:30:03 And the guy was like the clammiest cold fish, didn't want to be there, and was angry that he was actually on this podcast. Who's this Joe Ganascoli? Joe Ganascoli. Oh, Mikey Betts. He's a cheeto from The Sopranos. Ah, of course. Really?
Starting point is 00:30:20 Yes. Yeah, he didn't want to be there. It was painful. And it was like we're talking about The Sopranos. He goes, I don't know why people make such a big deal of shows. Just a little TV show. He's humble. Oh, man. He's humble.
Starting point is 00:30:32 I don't know why. No, no, no, no. That didn't mean anything. No, Tony lived at the end of the show. No. Yes. Oh, that's good. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:30:43 No. You got crossed. No, Frank. Yes. Oh, that's good. No, hold on. No. We got crossed. No, Frank. Wow, they're losing the faces. They sanctioned the fonts. They got to try to save face. What is this? Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:30:57 Honor to the rights of Times New York, Ariel, Veranda, Tahoma, and Held of the United American Monotype. Respect Helvetica. I mean... As long as they don't put Garamond, it'll be fine. Come on. It's going to be hilarious. I'm in the game now. I mean, at least they still have Comic Sans.
Starting point is 00:31:14 Yeah, I was just going to say that. You guys, yeah. I was going to say that. Oh, no. You were going to say that? I was. I was going to say it would be funny when... We're about to be Sans the comic.
Starting point is 00:31:24 When you get fired. I was going to say it would be funny. We're about to be sans a comic. You get fired. I mean, this is the harshest penalty given to Russia since the Olympic Committee said that Russia can't compete, but the athletes can.
Starting point is 00:31:41 We'll just call it athletes from Russia. Yes. Oh, Frank, you've forgotten to eat any hot dogs. What? Forgotten the athletes can. We'll just call it athletes from Russia. Yes. Oh, Frank, you've forgotten to eat any hot dogs. Forgotten the hot dogs. I haven't forgotten. We're 42 minutes in. What's your technique? He's on a tight 10.
Starting point is 00:31:56 Frank, I'm also fighting for your honor online right now. Frank, I fucking hate these losers. People are like, oh, making Frank eat. First of all frank want like you want to compete yeah yeah and it's like people who try to tell us that we should tell frank how to live his life fuck him frank we're making a 28 year old man force feed himself hot dogs he's a grown man losers frank i'm making 19 i know you're maybe not the most
Starting point is 00:32:25 Optimist but wouldn't you say The last couple years your life has been pretty God damn good in terms of Working here I love having you here And people try to just project Their own shitty lives onto you And I hate it It's amazing how toxic
Starting point is 00:32:41 I actually just sent a tweet And it did the thing Like are you sure You want to tweet this This looks like harassment It's amazing It's amazing how Tazic sometimes
Starting point is 00:32:50 The comment sections Come on Barstool blog And the It sucks YouTube I mean Do these people
Starting point is 00:32:57 Really have These are the They're calling me a loser And this guy's gotten Like used about Seven different names Yeah And he's just obsessed Dr. No Wipe And this guy's gotten used about seven different names. And he's just obsessed.
Starting point is 00:33:05 Dr. No Wipe and this jackass like this. Are you really that much of a loser? And every time he actually comes to my YouTube channel and clicks on my YouTube video to comment about something like this. You keep watching, Frank.
Starting point is 00:33:21 They're watching my video. You're winning. And I'm getting clicks. You don't have haters. You don't have fans. I just can't stand the people who try to tell you how to live your life. That's bullshit. Or tell us how to tell you how to live your life.
Starting point is 00:33:33 You can't live your own life. Assholes. Not like guys like Stephen Che, who are the picture of human health, didn't try the exact same challenge. Yes. Stephen Che literally did it. And I asked Frank if he wanted to do it. You eat that many hot dogs. Frank was up for same challenge. Yes. Stephen Chay literally did it, and I asked Frank if he wanted to do it. You eat that many hot dogs for help.
Starting point is 00:33:45 Frank was up for the challenge. Yes. And say, Frank, you got to do this challenge or else you're fired. I did say that to Jerry. Yeah. He needed that. Frank, why don't you just quit after seven? Oh, you could just get a sick pace, though, and then be like, could have done it.
Starting point is 00:34:02 That would be awesome. Walk off. Leave him guessing. Why don't you quit after seven? Save your calorie count. Quit after seven like Clayton Kershaw. Is that what you mean? Who is the?
Starting point is 00:34:13 Oh, yeah. Clayton Kershaw. Dave Roberts. Dave Roberts. This has pissed you off, right? And people wonder why baseball is losing popularity. Agreed. And it's because. It's popularity. Agreed. And 20 years
Starting point is 00:34:28 ago, 20 years ago, I said that analytics is going to destroy baseball and I was proven right. Not everything has to be wordplay, man. That wasn't even worth it. I was... You're the little kid watching the house burn.
Starting point is 00:34:44 Somebody photoshop his face over that little girl turning around. Did I do that? That's me right now. Oh, I didn't know that would happen. The hot dogs are charging up. I definitely wouldn't say analytics ruined baseball, though. Oh, that's for you. No, it's really, they've become slave to analytics.
Starting point is 00:35:03 It's truly. Agreed. You know Clinton Kristol let him go out for the eighth and if he gives up a hit take him out.
Starting point is 00:35:15 Yes sir. I couldn't comprehend that but I'll save it for the baseball boys. Are you kidding those cats KB? Yeah what's going on there? They're already melted.
Starting point is 00:35:24 Yeah but why? Why do you have them? I get a Kit Kat and an orange juicer Snapple for my doorman every day. He wasn't there today. Oh, man, are you worried that he... I'm telling you, was he the subway shooter? Doormen are on strike. No, the subway shooter, he called the cops and was like,
Starting point is 00:35:43 yo, I'm chilling at McDonald's. Come get me. Yeah. And they didn't. And then this guy, Zach, just was like, oh, that's the guy. And he called. He, like, arrested him. Citizen arrest. Citizen arrest, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:54 What a thrill. They shouldn't have defunded the police, man. I have a feeling that Zach guy is going to get canceled somehow. Oh, for sure. Yeah. Zach has actually been committing citizens arrest police brutality every day beating up people
Starting point is 00:36:08 you know I can't help but notice this that's six? yes sir oh this tank is cooking you're on pace it's funny the guy that ghosted me called in this terrorist you know I noticed we're having a case race and isn't it convenient that somebody's in Mississippi?
Starting point is 00:36:29 Oh, Frankie Random Talk about Ben Mintz No, Ben Mintz is in North Carolina Wait, has Frank and Ben Frank, have you ever interacted with Ben Mintz? Yes, I have, plenty of times Yeah, yeah
Starting point is 00:36:44 Frank doesn't Mintz? Yes, I have. Plenty of times. Yeah, yeah. All right, yeah, yeah. Frank doesn't mint the impression. Do you? Hey, fellas. I'm down here in the Carolinas trying to grow the game. Watch this. From Duke Baseball. Yeah. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:36:54 Yeah, you're going to grow the game, eh? That was pretty good. Wait, here. No, no, no. Who the fuck is that? I don't like him. Let's get him in here and let's just be sad. He's making me nervous.
Starting point is 00:37:06 I think he's your boss. Is it Steven? Who are you talking about? Not that shirt guy. One thing I haven't commented about is... Frank, do you have a Nate impression? Kelsey, don't be shy. Everybody sucks.
Starting point is 00:37:22 Everyone sucks. I don't know why I'm here. That's your name who's that guy in in part of my take studio with you who is it
Starting point is 00:37:32 he's not like a shortstop he's head of the what is he is he based in New York City or is he oh no maybe more head of graphics
Starting point is 00:37:42 and maybe more dude Chase is the man he's from he lives in Westfield which is where I grew up So we have one of the nicest guys here Scratch it I don't like the guy He's a good guy He helped develop my film software
Starting point is 00:37:55 That doesn't help my life You used to what? You have a film software? That was so great Steven is so singularly focused. I was like, I don't like the guy. And Steven's like, yeah, you do, because he helped me with my football film. How does that help me?
Starting point is 00:38:12 Remember when we did the – I was going to use all the money for the film software that was like $5,000 a year. He just basically made it for me. All right, fine. What film software? I just didn't know who he was and he made me uncomfortable. He just made a bunch of different filters in Premiere. But he's awesome. Yeah? He's like one of the nicest guys here, yes. Too nice.
Starting point is 00:38:31 Too nice. Can you be too nice? Yes, you are a shiny example of that. In a bad way? Yeah. Oh yeah. Too nice in a good way? Oh no. We just went through another dimension.
Starting point is 00:38:49 No, you're... I don't know how to respond to that. I don't agree. I don't agree, Steve. Yeah, no. You can't be too anything in a good way. What do you mean? What if you're too homicidal?
Starting point is 00:38:58 If the adjective too is used... Too homicidal? Then it's not a good way. What if someone's like, oh, that movie was too funny? Then it's implied that it was so funny that it lost its humor. What about something that's too good? Like someone that's too gay to find. I was just joking, by the way.
Starting point is 00:39:16 You're the right amount of nice. Don't worry. That was a word. I know you weren't because you're too nice. You know, there once was an NFL that was too tall. You're tall, Jones. Come on, Frank. And that's another hot dog down.
Starting point is 00:39:29 Wait. Eight? No, no. I'm working on seven. Wait, so two is what? You're saying that you can never say two? Whenever I express an opinion, I don't believe it. I just did it.
Starting point is 00:39:40 You're just trying. You are good at that. Fucking out your ace. So we should be Fans of Chase Yeah we're stuck in take culture Where everything has to be Some hot take Wait so we're fans
Starting point is 00:39:50 Of Chase Butler Big fans Big fans Damn okay Sometimes people are very nice And not And afraid to introduce themselves I just don't like
Starting point is 00:39:58 Yeah He's probably waiting for you To introduce He looked like he was doing A lot of stuff today I was like uh oh He's a big wig He is It's also hard to know Who you've seen before When it was doing a lot of stuff today. I was like, uh-oh. He's a big wig. He is.
Starting point is 00:40:05 It's also hard to know who you've seen before when it's like a sea of people who've never introduced themselves. It's like, do they expect you to introduce yourself? Yeah. He's been here for, I want to say, two years. Oh, no. Of course. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:40:17 One of my best friends. Yeah. In a while, since the good ones. Two years? Probably. Fuck. He sits on the dark, windowless side of the house. Yeah, he does. So he probably doesn't see. Upstairs? No. He sits on the dark windowless side of the house. Yeah, he does.
Starting point is 00:40:27 Upstairs? No. Down over there. He sits near, I think he sits across from Blattman. Comes in every day? Yes. A little hiccup. You know it would be nice.
Starting point is 00:40:39 Also a father of two. I got to up my game. He's got kids. And they're big Big Cat fans. Damn. I like Chase. Chase has out my game. He's got kids. Damn. And they're big Big Cat fans. Damn. I like Chase. Chase has been my dog for almost two years now. Get him a sign.
Starting point is 00:40:49 Sign something. I'd say on and off again for two years we've been like best friends. And the off has only been when we're like lovers. That's seven for Frank, by the way. Seven for Frank? Ding. Ding. So, Frank, you're about to do this with ease.
Starting point is 00:41:07 Frank, it's a cash prize, by the way. I don't have cash with me today, but I'll give it to you on Monday. $250. I think you have three more in 30 minutes. $135 each. Yes, you do $20. Cash prize. Yeah, don't go for just
Starting point is 00:41:21 the minimum. See how many you can get. Oh, I think it's better when you do the walk-off and you're one bite over. Do that. Be like the guy that called his dad when he won. Who was the first guy? That was still one of the coolest things. By far the coolest thing you could do. Rutgers guy?
Starting point is 00:41:38 Dad. That's too cool. Wanted to tell you I'm about to win a million dollars. I'm the man. My God. That was the peak of reality shows or game shows. I'm just thinking about what me and Chase Butler are going to do this weekend together.
Starting point is 00:41:50 You know what ruined Chase Butt? You know what ruined who wants to be a millionaire when they started having a celebrity who wants to be a millionaire? The first five questions were like, what's two plus two? Four! Yay!
Starting point is 00:42:04 Your final answer. And they're already millionaires. Exactly. They're giving away for charity, and then for the first half, people from the audience can shout out answers to them on the celebrity one. That's BS. You know what was a good show? The Weakest Link.
Starting point is 00:42:17 Yeah, that was a stern bitch. Weakest Link. Do it, Brooks. Goodbye. I really liked that who wants it to be a million hours way better but she did the goodbye she was cold blooded
Starting point is 00:42:30 so awesome reboots has Jane Lynch on it oh I like that I like Jane Lynch that woman was the show best in show she was in party down the old goodbye woman she died of a rotten heart woman was the show. She's awesome. Best in show. Is that woman still alive? She was in Party Down, I think. Jane Lynch? No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:42:46 The old Goodbye Woman. She died of a rotten heart. Yeah, you're right. It always sounds better when you get things like that from a Brit. Gordon Ramsay. He just
Starting point is 00:43:01 talks down to people. It just sounds dignified. You are nothing but a piece of shit. Yeah. I felt like I was a cockless person. You want to shit on me in a British accent for a little bit? Owen, what exactly do you do here? Oh! That was more of a distinguished man.
Starting point is 00:43:20 Yeah. You didn't even use an accent. No. You were more of a Rockefeller there. Wait, play that back. He just said that. He just said that. He just said that. Honestly, Owen, I don't think he heard you
Starting point is 00:43:28 when he was just saying that next. That was just the natural flow of conversation. Awesome. You did ask him to shit on you. Yeah, you did. Don't play victim now. I'm not. Freaking trophy culture over here, you know?
Starting point is 00:43:45 Oh, and I do think you're about to throw fits this summer. I got my Hachimura on. Reverse, though. Reverse. Criss-cross. Well, let's see if he could actually win the case because I predicted him to win the case. Oh.
Starting point is 00:43:58 Yes. You might have got Fleming cursed. Uh-oh. This case race. Yeah, don't all the teams you root for never win. Yeah, I'm struggling to lock in right now because I'm so locked in. This case race. Yeah, don't all the teams you root for never win. Yeah, I'm struggling to lock in right now because I'm so locked
Starting point is 00:44:08 in for the case race. Yeah, me too. You know, even when the Mets are doing good, there's always something wrong. I mean, that's what we were talking about.
Starting point is 00:44:15 Yeah, the Subway series. I mean, they're 5-2, but they should really be 7-0. Why? They didn't win them all.
Starting point is 00:44:22 That's literally a saying. Yeah, but blowing a full-on lead in the eighth inning is never good. Maybe the Phillies are just a better team. In the eyes. Well, the Mets did win two out of three in Philly. That's a fucking... You're a beast.
Starting point is 00:44:36 You guys think you're going to win? You know you're a beast. We know we're going to win. This fucker doesn't want to work. You're a beast. I did tell that one guy that he's got to get a tattoo. He said that we were going to finish six beers Oh yeah I know
Starting point is 00:44:46 What a dumb thing to say Better get a tattoo Imagine if collectively We just drank six beers And we were tapping out People don't understand I don't have many chances To be cool anymore
Starting point is 00:44:57 This is one of them Now what would you I really don't This is my first chance Yeah this is your first chance This might be my last That would be amazing If you just do like 20. Like in like 30 minutes.
Starting point is 00:45:09 You're fine. You're just like, I can drive a car. No, you can't. That was a joke. Are there any like tactics? I don't think. Are there any like PEs? No, I'm telling you right now.
Starting point is 00:45:19 Again, maybe science has changed and we're better humans than I was when, I don't know, 2005, 2006. But I remember vividly doing it, being like five beers in and being like, this was a terrible decision. I've never done one, so I don't know. I don't think you're going to want them cold. Oh, yeah, I would. Oh, you want them ice cold. I would like them as cold as possible. You want them ice cold.
Starting point is 00:45:42 Don't even try it. I don't have them cold, Nicky. Have them cold, boys. It's fine When they're cold They're easier to burp up Ever do Edward Forty Hands Maybe we'll do that
Starting point is 00:45:48 For your 22nd That's way worse I think that's way easier Oh no Because you can't pee The beer gets warm You can pee But you can use the bottles
Starting point is 00:45:58 Or have your boys Fish out your dick But you can't use your The beers get warm I'll pivot to over 40 hands tonight. One or more. We'll be done in... That's less beer.
Starting point is 00:46:08 Yeah, but it's malt. It's true. It's true. Frank, how's it going? It's starting to get tough. Yeah. Are you phlegmy? When everybody else had it, they were very phlegmy.
Starting point is 00:46:18 Like, they just had a lot of snot. No pun intended. Okay, why don't you toss me another dog? Yeah? Yeah. All right, but I want you to get your tummy full. I'm not going Yeah. All right, but I don't want you to get your tummy full. I'm not going to get my tummy full. I think you are going to get your tummy full.
Starting point is 00:46:29 I'm hungry. What is your diet strategy, guys? What is your... I'm not revealing that. I'm not either. I got my stomach pumped and I don't know what to do. I had a full colonoscopy this morning. Shit.
Starting point is 00:46:41 Yeah. Are these grazed papaya? Yeah. Papaya dogs. Ronan, I have something up our i think you're chelsea papaya yeah uh no chelsea papaya didn't deliver today their their kitchen is closed oh really i got a call that's why they were late so they're uh i don't know there's another papaya there's a lot of papayas yeah yeah there's a lot of papayas the street what do you think it is with chelsea, Frank, if you had to guess? Water main break?
Starting point is 00:47:07 Owner was embezzling funds? Small kitchen fire? Ah, yes. Field inspection? Maybe field inspection. By the way, do we have ice and cups? Or we're getting that later? Who's getting that? Ice? We're getting ice, like, right before. Oh, and are you getting cups
Starting point is 00:47:23 or I'm getting cups? I'll get cups. Okay. We need beer. Yeah, the beer we'll get right before oh and are you getting cups or I'm getting cups I'll get cups okay we need beer yeah the beer we'll get right before yep from where we have
Starting point is 00:47:30 somewhere around here so I'll gonna the time slots are strategic so I'll get my face pinned first and then I'll go get the stuff imagine walking in
Starting point is 00:47:38 probably not the best idea but whatever yeah that's fine I'm so fucking ready I am too I'm so fucking ready. I am too. I'm pumped.
Starting point is 00:47:50 Should we just do like, should we go Chris Moneymaker on their ass and wear sunglasses and put in headphones the whole time? Don't even say a word. Are you going to riff? Are you going to riff? You won't be able to riff. Riffing's the biggest part of drinking. We should have a riff penalty. You got to riff.
Starting point is 00:48:00 If you don't riff, then it can be the judge. You just got to riff. Yeah. Yeah, you could riff. Can I also remind the audience that this is going to be our last show on the Barstool Sports YouTube? Whoa. Ever? Is this true?
Starting point is 00:48:12 Yeah, we're moving to Barstool Yak. Unless the case race gets like 30 views. Yeah, that'll be bad. We're all just not doing this show anymore. Barely break 1K. We're going full over to the... Oh yeah, I want a Yak. Everyone, please, please, please subscribe.
Starting point is 00:48:27 How many subscribers do we have? 61,000. All right, we got to get that 100K. You need 100K and on Twitter. I was very confused by yesterday's title and thumbnail. I loved it. Stash breaks down the perfect college dorm. You did.
Starting point is 00:48:44 I don't remember that at all. Yeah, we did the posters. That was like a group conversation. Oh, it was you. You spearheaded it. So Garrett makes the thumbnail. Shout out Garrett. I know him.
Starting point is 00:48:54 Garrett. He goes crazy with it. It's next to Chase. Incredible thumbnails. This is really bad, Roman. I didn't know Chase Butler for two years. Two years. You know him?
Starting point is 00:49:04 Of course, dude. You didn't fucking know him. He's been climbing the ranks silently. But he definitely has made some kind of graphic of you, for you, and about you. What's really bad is he's eight. He's getting an eight. Eight. You're eight.
Starting point is 00:49:16 Eight. But, Big Cat, I've been to your place. You don't talk to your butler there, either. We're all discourse last week. I know I'm trying to beat Chase Nine and a half Ten and a quarter Ten and a quarter
Starting point is 00:49:29 Who ranked second? Jerry had eight I had second, I was nine You right now are not last place Jerry had eight And there was also some puke involved Oh, eight and a quarter He ate his own puke involved. Oh, he ate in a quarter. He ate his own puke, though.
Starting point is 00:49:46 Yeah, you made us eat our own vomit. I didn't make you do anything. The rule was if you do, you're still in the competition, and Jerry did. What? Did he really? Yeah. He dipped his hot dog in it. You didn't see that?
Starting point is 00:49:59 Hardest that Roan's ever laughed, ever. I've never seen Roan laugh this hard. I went to watch the video, and then I just thought it was going to be him throwing up, and I was like, no, never mind. It was the hardest I've ever heard Ron laugh. And I also went, like, I hit a different octave on my laugh. It was incredible. It was like a fucking hyena.
Starting point is 00:50:16 We can play the clip. I don't want to. I lost it. That is so funny. Play the clip. You know what? Play the clip for Sass. Yeah, play it, play it.
Starting point is 00:50:22 I'm not going to watch. I think you should. I'll listen. You got to listen. You should. It's the clip for Sass. Yeah, play it, play it. I'm not going to watch. I think you should. I'll listen. You got to listen. I think you should. It's instant serotonin there, two laughs. Uh-oh. You good?
Starting point is 00:50:31 Oh. I'm going to do a little stretching. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There we go. There we go. Watch out. Watch that can, Owen. You got to focus on your stand-up.
Starting point is 00:50:40 Oh, there we go. Take a little walk. Take a little walk. Look at those high knees High knees Let's go Frank I love you wearing the Dan Marino He's walking brother Don't distract him
Starting point is 00:50:58 Play the clip of Jerry You're gonna like this Seth I'm not joking I've never seen I'm grossed out by shit like. I've never seen it. I'm grossed out by shit like this. I've never seen it. It was gross. And if you saw it live, it was... Watch. Just watch. I'm watching. I'm watching.
Starting point is 00:51:13 Owen is putting his head out the room. Owen was about to projectile into the wall. Oh, wait. That's the very end. Yeah, it was a rebuke. Two minutes left. Oh, that's so gross. One earlier. Yeah, the other one.
Starting point is 00:51:27 Oh. I don't know what's happening. I'm bad with this. Yeah, that shit makes me want to throw up. That was poop. That was poop. Poop. This one.
Starting point is 00:51:41 Yeah, this one. Oh, no, wait. Not that one. Fuck. We need to laugh. First yak. This one Yeah this one Oh no wait not that one Fuck We need to laugh First yak Oh shit I think that's it
Starting point is 00:51:50 That's not it I believe Hank tweeted it And said this is the hardest I've ever heard Rowan laugh You guys see that picture That Hank sent There's something to that We can make something out of that Make sure that Hank sent.
Starting point is 00:52:07 There's something to that. We can make something out of that. Let's roll with that. Oh, shit. Hank said that Chase Butler's a lion at the top of the production food pyramid. Damn it. Oh, here it is. Che, why haven't you adjusted mine? Why haven't you adjusted Rone and I's odds?
Starting point is 00:52:30 Rank just vacated. I didn't do that. That was whoever made that graphic. He didn't want to see it at all. I guess they disagreed. That's fair for him. He's got eight hot dogs in his belly. He doesn't want to see one get puked.
Starting point is 00:52:43 He said, wish I didn't see that. He just needs two and a third more hot dogs. Nick and Rhone line. To be fair though, we had to watch Jerry puke while we ate our hot dogs. Nick and Rhone line is egregious. They should be.
Starting point is 00:52:58 What are they even, what are people even fucking talking about? You guys should be, if I could bet on this competition, I would put everything. I'd make you guys a game of the year at those odds. Wow. Incredible odds. Insane odds. So Megan
Starting point is 00:53:11 Making Money took us as well. Nick goes to a dark place. And Rone is a lush. I can see it on his face. He's not a lush. He's a crumb bum lush. I can see it on every face. I'm a cop my whole life. You're a creep. Get away from me. And Iumbum lush. Lush. I can see it on every face. I'm a cop my whole life. You're a creep.
Starting point is 00:53:27 Get away from me. And I am a lush. I listened to a podcast about Frank Rizzo afterwards. Turns out, not a great guy. Oh, yeah. The worst. Who would have known? He started the tearing down statues phase in American history. He was the first one they took down.
Starting point is 00:53:43 No, not a good guy. Oh, yeah. You're a lush. You're a crumbum. I want to fight you. But you don't have the courage. You're a real crumbum. Put that on camera.
Starting point is 00:53:55 You're a creep. Get away from me. Well, sir, I'm on the public sphere. I should be authorized to be here. I'll break it over your head. Get away from me, you crumb. You're a crumb creep coward. I want to fight you.
Starting point is 00:54:13 Why is that? Because you're a crumb creep lush coward. You don't even know me, Mayor. You are a lush. I can tell by looking at you. I can tell by looking at you. Oh, this is awesome. I've never seen this.
Starting point is 00:54:24 Oh, it's the best. Oh, it's the best. And see one, and you're a lush. When did humans stop talking in that voice? I know. Ah, see? The you're a creep, get away from me is maybe my favorite line ever. You're a crumsey. You're a creep, get away from me.
Starting point is 00:54:36 Look me in the eyes. I think you're a real straight shit. D-Lo coming in here? No. Ah. It looked like he had news. Yeah. D-Lo hopefully will be here tonight.
Starting point is 00:54:45 He will. Well, it depends on how long we go. I think he's wearing his date shirt, though. What do you guys think for the time? Damn well like a date shirt. What do you guys think for the time? Pick times and make some kind of side. What do you think? Three hours. Three? Yeah. I don't know. It's far longer.
Starting point is 00:55:01 I think it'll be like two hours and 20 minutes. Not shorter. I think it's going to be a little bit over two hours would be my guess. With the pizza. Six beers an hour? No, no, no. I'm talking about just the case. Oh. Two hours.
Starting point is 00:55:16 Oh, the show is going to be like four and a half. Yeah. We're not going to get out of here until one in the morning. Yeah. One or the other. It's going to be great for the listeners 1 in the morning. Yeah. One or the other. It's going to be great for the listeners. Another Red Bull. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:26 But no, I think it's going to be, I think it's going to take a little over two hours for the team to win. Nine. Without doubt. Nine for Frank. It'll be two hours on the dot. I think the winner will be sub two. Really?
Starting point is 00:55:39 I agree. 100%. Six hours an hour is not a crazy pace. Oh, yeah. That is. Doing that twice in a row like running 2 60 miles in a row no it's not because 6 beers
Starting point is 00:55:50 in an hour is not a 6 minute mile that's a 12 minute walking 6 beers in an hour and then doing it again have you guys ever done a power hour when you're done with a power hour I've never finished one power hour is only 5 beers right no it's 7
Starting point is 00:56:02 we were debating this so if a shot is an ounce and a half Power Hour is only five beers, right? No, it's seven. Is it? Is it seven? Yeah. We were debating this. So if a shot is an ounce and a half, then it's seven and a half. If it's one ounce shot, then it's five beers. Yeah, six beers an hour. Yeah, that's fine. But if you've done a Power Hour, you're like very drunk at the end. The reason a Power Hour hits harder is because of the amount of sips.
Starting point is 00:56:20 It's like the foam hitting your stomach. Six beers an hour is a lot. That's one every ten minutes I'm with KB But how many Those second three go down way faster And how many drinks do you say are in a can of beer? That works
Starting point is 00:56:34 We're not drinkers Glugs Glugs per can More pathetic than you guys Like me and Big Ted I'd say five glugs per can Probably four to five glugs But you can't glug the whole time
Starting point is 00:56:43 You gotta riff No, but if you start with a glug It can't be all glugs So you're just gonna be glug the whole time. You've got to riff. You've got to riff. It can't be all glugs. You're just going to be glugging and riffing? We're not gargling. We're going to riff between glugs. You're going to glug, riff, glug, riff. You're just going to do that for two hours.
Starting point is 00:56:54 And then you're going to get caught in a spot where you riffed a little too much, and then you're going to try to glug, glug, glug, and then you get a riff penalty. Glug, glug, glug turns to chug. Three glugs make a chug. What about a yug? Three glugs might make a glug turns to chug. Three glugs make a chug. What about a yug? Three glugs might make a gluck. A yug is three chugs. Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug.
Starting point is 00:57:10 How many glugs in a row before it's considered a gluck? I think eight. Eight glugs becomes a gluck? And then how many for gluck, gluck, 3,000? 9,000, brother. 9,000, sorry. Is it nine? I can only afford three.
Starting point is 00:57:25 I have last year's model. Literal model. Hey, you can't imagine just walking in on your boy getting sucked off. Like, oh, is that a 9,000? Yeah. Damn. You like smack him. Deem arena.
Starting point is 00:57:38 Wow. Wow. Mind if I test drive? Kick the tires on this thing. Switching the white. Eat that. Why did I test drive? Kick the tires on this thing. Switching the white. He died. Where was he going? Frank has one and a third left.
Starting point is 00:57:56 Right? Yeah. One and a third left. Clayton Kershaw would stop after 7,000. Not Noah Sindergaard. A full nine. What's our standings? What's the standings look like?
Starting point is 00:58:09 How many? Let me see. We got one. Is that your 10th? I'm on the 10th. I'm at basically nine and a half right now. All right. So you have to eat that, and then you have to take a big bite out of one more, and you're done.
Starting point is 00:58:18 Oh, my God. This guy's a beast. He's putting you to shame, Steven. It's 16 minutes left. It's a very impressive performance. It also just makes you, you are the hot dog king of the yak, which I was hoping that you would have that crown. And also the amount of riffing that he's done in between.
Starting point is 00:58:32 I feel like Frank has been, he had time to do that sound effect. Gurgle, gurgle. What do you think? Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle. 10 beers or 10 dogs? 10 dogs. Well, we did that for the live stream. We did a part of my take 24-hour live stream that PFT drank a beer every hour and I ate a hot dog every hour.
Starting point is 00:58:52 I think I felt worse. He was hammered. You put half of your hot dogs into milkshakes. Yeah, I was eating them out of milkshakes. Try to get the sweet. I remember that. A hot dog, that would be so much worse. But there was a moment where it was like, I think it was worse for him, but at the end it was way worse for me.
Starting point is 00:59:08 That was one of the more fun nights I've had. Thank you. That was fun. Wait, earlier me, PFT, and Glennie were talking about what would happen if the internet went down. And Glennie said, we're like, you can still use your phone, but not the parts that have internet. So like the calculator or whatever. He was like, I would just type my address into the Notes app and show it to a cab driver. Like, Lenny, you could talk. You could still talk.
Starting point is 00:59:34 You could talk. That was his technique if the internet went down for everyone. If the internet went down, he was like, I would have to get home. I couldn't call my mom. Also, he could get home, right? He doesn't know how to get home. What is that? Does he know his address? He's been commuting.
Starting point is 00:59:50 Speaking of internet, has anyone noticed that we're at 556k dial-up speed here lately? Yeah, that's on Pete. That's on Pete. I mean, I almost expect now when I get on the internet to hear.
Starting point is 01:00:13 That was good. That was really good. That was really good. I thought I was hearing dial-up sounds. Yeah. That sounds like a dial-up sound. If everyone who's watching right now hasn't subscribed to the Yak YouTube, I want them dead. The message is pinned in the Yak chat right now.
Starting point is 01:00:26 Just click the link. It would be also nice if you subscribed to my channel. Yeah. Sure, yeah. Franky Tank Fleming. I think you're part of the Yak, so we got to push the Yak, then we'll push Frank.
Starting point is 01:00:37 No, push whatever. I was doing trickle-down economics. I wanted a silver button, too. Oh, yeah. Wait, is that 10? No, it's 100. No, I'm saying did you just finish 10? No.
Starting point is 01:00:51 Oh, it's to the side. I'm working on 10. 10 is kicking your ass. Kicking your ass. Kicking your ass. Nice. I don't feel like drinking anymore. No, let's cancel it. Yep. I actually think's cancel it. Yep.
Starting point is 01:01:06 I actually think that would be the, I think that would end the show. We've definitely done things that made the fans upset, and there's been many times where it's like, I don't think we're in the wrong. If we did that, we would be over. And should be celebrating. We're actually doing something we said we were going to do.
Starting point is 01:01:23 That would be like if we went to L.A. and we didn't do all of our challenges. Yeah, right. That's a slap in the face. I mean, also, we're not like heroes. We're just getting drunk with like, I like you guys. Yeah. Yeah, I would have loved if you would have asked me to do this with you guys.
Starting point is 01:01:39 But like off record, I would have. Yeah, 100%. Right, Dan? You guys are my brothers. Bro, I'm have. Yeah, 100%. Right, Dan? You guys are my brothers. Bro. I'm fucking pumped for tonight. But you didn't answer the question. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:54 Would you hang out with us without cameras? For sure. For sure, for sure. First round on Nicky. Like tonight. Why have you never? We got to keep it going afterwards. Yeah, where are we going after? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:04 Get a table. I would love to hang with the boys. Sash, when are you getting another haircut, bro? When are you getting another... We had this exact conversation yesterday. Another G.I. Jane. It should be soon. Frank's got his 10th in his mouth.
Starting point is 01:02:25 Maybe tonight. Then all he has to do is take one big bite of the 11th. Taxi driver mohawk. I need one as well. I'd buzz. I don't want to go that. I'm not going that short ever again. You should get a tape up.
Starting point is 01:02:37 I was so bald. Yeah. Crazy. It's fun to have him over here. Kind of. What's the fun? Funny. Fun how? You can do of. What's the fun? Funny. Fun how?
Starting point is 01:02:46 You can do this. What can you do? That's how short my hair was. I was right. Lucky guess. Wait, wait, wait. Yeah. Nick, you try.
Starting point is 01:03:00 Nick, you try. I don't think I could. I don't think I can damage the follicles. I used to do that when my hair was super short. I would call it. N. N. All right.
Starting point is 01:03:08 Here's the 11th. You just need to take a – I basically just have to have half. Pass that to him. What type of pie do you guys want me to get? Pumpkin. Pizza. No, not pumpkin. Should we just say that it's just going to be a pizza?
Starting point is 01:03:22 Key lime pie. Why don't we do a pie wheel? A pie wheel right now? Oh, a pie wheel right now? A pie wheel right now. Pie wheel now. Pie wheel now. Okay, yeah, do it.
Starting point is 01:03:31 Con, can I have my side? We'll all nominate a pie. Everyone nominates a pie. Frank is going. This is it. Oh, there's one. Any bite. One more and he's the champion.
Starting point is 01:03:42 How do you feel? One more. He might not be able to do this. I don't think he will. I don't think he's going to finish. This is right where 49 and a half happened, Frank. Oh, no. I think he's not going to finish.
Starting point is 01:03:50 I want both hands open. All right, everyone nominate a pie. We're going to nominate a pie for the wheel, and we'll finish the show with a pie. Pecan. Pepperoni. Coconut cream. It could be a pizza pie.
Starting point is 01:04:03 Pizza pie? It could be a pizza pie. I think what I'd rather do. It's got to be something that we can actually get, by the way. Con is one of the most known pies. I want to be a villain. Shepherds. Oh, Nicky.
Starting point is 01:04:18 Come on. We can't find that. Right across the street. Yeah, they're local Sheppies. Maybe a Sheppy Peas in town. Cherry pie. Cherry pie. Cherry pie? All right, put cherry, shepherds, pecan, pepperoni.
Starting point is 01:04:30 Anyone want to put cheese? Yeah, I'm just going to do a cheese. All right, cheese. Eli, let me write. What's that smirk, Steven? What's he on? Artichoke pizza. No!
Starting point is 01:04:41 You fuck! You fuck! That already has the consistency of vomit. Fuck you. All right. That's nasty. That would do it for me. How about Calabria's hot honey?
Starting point is 01:04:55 Ooh. Can we get that here? That's New Jersey, right? Yeah. That's such a good. Owen, what do you say? All right, Frank, did it. I'll do like a fig and honey.
Starting point is 01:05:03 He did it. He did it. Ten and a half. With ten minutes, nine, did it. I'll do like a fig and honey. He did it. He did it. Ten and a half. With ten minutes, nine minutes to spare. Wow. A fucking beast. How do you feel? Atta boy, Tank. How do you feel?
Starting point is 01:05:14 Stuffed like a turkey. Hot dog king of the yak. Stuffed like a turkey. Frank, next Tank Thursday, you can collect your winnings. Yeah. $270. No piss on any of it. That's how you like it.
Starting point is 01:05:34 Pissless. And you heard that Owens, for the pie wheel, he wanted a, what was it, a prosciutto apricot? Fig. Oh, prosciutto fig and what? Arugula. Arugula, yeah. Yummy. All right, so this is to decide who the losing team has to eat an entire pie.
Starting point is 01:05:53 And also has to end up on the wheel again, which will be great. Let's make them do another thing, too. Have to go home and get a good night of sleep. Drink a lot of water before bed. Can't get called out by the boss lady ever again? No. You have to go home and get a good night of sleep. Drink a lot of water before bed. Can't get called out by the boss lady ever again. No. All right, bro.
Starting point is 01:06:11 Enough. We barely talked about it. You don't get the Barstool newsletter, do you? Enough. Enough. Really not a big deal at all. No, totally not. I'm actually on your side. I know.
Starting point is 01:06:24 Because we've got to stay locked in. I know. But it's not. Tomorrow I'll tell you how I really feel. I already talked to the boss. Someone is trying to bring us down. You know that. You know that, right? Someone's trying to bring us down. Yeah, one of these. Yeah, they're trying to put
Starting point is 01:06:40 you in a bad head. They planted the story. Correct. I don't think it was even in the podcast. We have to stay strong. We have to stay strong. We have to stay strong, my brother. Did you just DM that to Stoolie Clubhouse, Roan? Did you actually? Roan. I texted you right when it happened.
Starting point is 01:06:56 She never said that on the podcast. I texted you right when it happened. Must have turned off your notifications. I said, Roan, did you pay? I said. Did I not say that? Yes, you did. Oh, you fucking asshole. I didn't answer. I didn't see the text.
Starting point is 01:07:09 Oh, you did reply. You were the first person to reply. I did it in the Yak group chat. I said, I have reason to believe someone paid Erica to speak badly about me on the day of the case race. And then Roan said, What have reason to believe someone paid Erica to speak badly about me on the day of the case race. And then Roan said, oh, man. What did she say?
Starting point is 01:07:28 You are a jerk. He DM'd. What? So, wait, did you do the Erica thing? That was a sign up, too, and she called me? Yes. Oh, I don't know about that. You better get your mind right.
Starting point is 01:07:40 Wait, wait, wait. They're fucking with you, dude. Erica called me. They're fucking with you. She did say that. Oh, okay. She did not say that. She said it in a joking way. It're fucking with you, dude. Erica called that out a part of it. She did say that. Oh, okay. She did not say that. She said it in a joking way.
Starting point is 01:07:48 It's not a big deal regardless. I know. Everyone thinks I'm going to fucking kill myself if someone says that. Whoa, whoa. It's true. It's on YouTube, bro. Do that shit tomorrow. No, but it's like I don't wear a case.
Starting point is 01:08:00 Everyone acts like I'm a liability if someone says something about me. Bro, tomorrow is when you can do that shit. He is not going to handle this well. The tweet did not bother me. Going to be hung over tomorrow just sitting in his fucking five by five box. You know how much I had to pay that prankster to get Kyle? I have a lovely room, by the way. Dick.
Starting point is 01:08:25 All right, spin the pie wheel, and then we'll see everyone 1 o'clock tomorrow on the Yak YouTube. What do you got? 11. 11! That a boy, Frank. He's a beast. 11.
Starting point is 01:08:39 Barstool Yak YouTube. Barstool Yak YouTube. Everyone, please subscribe. That's where the Yak will be from going forward. And tomorrow, we'll all be in the chat. No spoilers. It's going to be... The only spoiler I'll give is I'll give people a heads up
Starting point is 01:08:55 of how long the show is. What the fuck are you doing, KB? Well, we need 65,000 subscribers by tomorrow. Everyone's in your head. KB just keeps turning to me going, He's fucked. He's fucked. He's fucked He's fucked He's fucked
Starting point is 01:09:06 Aim over Wow Psychological warfare Alright let's see the wheel What pie is it going to be? Is this everything? Peroni artichoke pizza Oh plain
Starting point is 01:09:18 Plain How long was the phone call? Short What's BK Sunday pie? You gotta be on the line for like a minute to report. That's easy to eat. Very good. It's the best dessert.
Starting point is 01:09:30 It's our best item. Is it a one? Is it? Are we going to have to get two of them? We're going to have to get nine of them. Nine. They're like an individual slice. Oh.
Starting point is 01:09:37 They're a delight. It's the best fast food dessert. He's right. They don't have that out here, do they? All right. Here we go. Let's see what the pie. Is what we're going to be. The loser's going to be eating this in completion.
Starting point is 01:09:48 Carrie is the worst one to me. This just means that KB and Owen are recording this. I think Artichoke is by far the worst. Hell no. Shut the fuck up. Look at that. Okay, that's fine. That's fine.
Starting point is 01:09:57 Good idea. How many pieces? Eight? Nine. Why nine? Why a pie is eight? I don't know. Will you get that?
Starting point is 01:10:03 I'm like fucking around. TJ, I'll give you the card. Will you make sure we have that. TJ. What? You just make sure you get it. Yeah, I'll order like ten. All right.
Starting point is 01:10:14 No. Eight, TJ. Okay. Maybe I'll have one. Well, next time we see everyone, you will be very drunk on a show tomorrow when everyone sees us. Everyone needs to subscribe. Everyone, please, please subscribe.
Starting point is 01:10:29 Tell your friends to subscribe. Make partner accounts and subscribe. We don't care if they're real people. We just want numbers. We'll be in there with a chat with you, and we'll be watching, because we're not going to remember what the fuck. Yep. Subscribe, subscribe, subscribe.
Starting point is 01:10:41 All right. See everyone tomorrow. Click that link and subscribe. We will see you tomorrow in the chat. Happy birthday, Dad.

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