The Yak - The Return Of British Slang With Expressions Oozing | The Yak 11-17-21

Episode Date: November 18, 2021

Damn mackey tings...You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop or do a Yankees mob. It's the act. It's the act. You didn't shut the door? Jesus.
Starting point is 00:00:47 Oh, he's quick. He's agile for a big man. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. Welcome back to the Yak. We're all in our regular normal attire that we always wear. It's not because we have to do a Black Friday commercial mid-yak. We definitely made up all these paper airplanes just out of the joy of our heart, too.
Starting point is 00:01:17 We hired a drone guy, and 30 minutes into the yak, a drone will come in here, and we have to throw paper airplanes at it. And I can't be in here during that because I have to go in the hallway and recreate my push with Devlin because two years isn't long enough to squeeze that fucking storyline dry. That's fine. That's fine. Yeah, so the Yak will be just KB and myself when this thing comes in here. The Yak is, if we look at the chart, that's only happened once. Oh, we do have a chart now.
Starting point is 00:01:42 We have the chart, and did that chart indicate that we've ran through every single combination of all seven can we see the chart i don't think it no we haven't because i've never done a nick sass he didn't include he did a great job but he didn't include the zeros the ones that didn't happen yeah has there ever been a to have seen that only a roan kyle there's never never been a roan kyle there There is never and will never be a sass Kyle. No. We wouldn't be able to do that.
Starting point is 00:02:09 So the biggest combination we've had is the full group. Yeah. Which makes sense. That actually feels like the combination we've gone the longest without.
Starting point is 00:02:17 It seems like it never happens nowadays. Correct. It's sad. The second one is Can you control plus on that bitch? That's fun. With control plus in? Yeah. Okay.. The second one is... Can you Control Plus on that bitch? That's fun.
Starting point is 00:02:25 With Control Plus-ing? Yeah. Okay. So the second one is Everybody But Me. Yes. The third one is Everybody But Sass. Go over a little bit so we can see how many we're missing, though. That's Everybody But Roan.
Starting point is 00:02:41 Huh. Wow. Who's that one? Which one? Which one? The one under everybody but... Oh, that's everybody but Rone and Sass, and that's everybody but Rone. No, there's no big cat in that. Oh, no, no, you're looking at that one.
Starting point is 00:02:54 Yes, yes. Yeah, so there's our combinations. That's how many times we've done... What's the best combination? The very bottom. Mm-hmm. The very last one, I imagine. The very last one?
Starting point is 00:03:03 Nick and Jimmy? No, that would never work As a show In my opinion There was an Owen J Yak What was that There was
Starting point is 00:03:12 When was there an Owen Jack special Yeah we did the The mock draft I think it was the day Where you like You guys were all Going to be out
Starting point is 00:03:17 It was just you two Yep Wow I don't remember that one We got Mikey Podcast In the booth today Yeah Chat let's hear it for podcasts. On the ones and twos?
Starting point is 00:03:27 Mm-hmm. Hey. If you DM him, he will meet up with you and fuck you. True. Based on what I hear and know about him, yes, he will. Yeah? The statistics are there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:40 I did my first piece of content with, have you guys met Expressions yet? I haven't met Expressions yet. So he and I interviewed WWE Champion Big E today. Was he excited to meet him? Was he excited to meet him? I said zero words on it. I introduced it, and he took over. I'm out of the loop.
Starting point is 00:03:58 Expressions is a new hire? Yeah, he's a new hire. He's a new British guy. British guy. He's here. He's the Tottenham guy. Right. What does he look like? Let's go get him. Not's a new British guy. British guy. He's here. He's the Tottenham guy. Right. What does he look like?
Starting point is 00:04:05 Let's go get him. Not the typical Barstool employee. Atypical when it comes to Barstool employees. That would be actually a good person to have in here. He's a man, and he's straight. But there's a twist. You'll see. Brandon and I look like we would dress like this normally you look ridiculous
Starting point is 00:04:28 boy did i get the raw end of the deal uh polar came with all the merch and she was like here's kyle's the podcast you're on a hat you wear um and then she handed me mine and uh you look like you're about to sell like bootleg chemistry equipment at a monster truck fair. I look like I'm about to go play paintball. That's what you look like. Expressions, my guy. What's up? I'm Nick.
Starting point is 00:04:55 Either way, that's Nick. That's Kyle. All right. Let me get this right. Got it. Not bad. Wherever you want. Right here is fine.
Starting point is 00:05:01 Right here is fine. Chat, clip that smooth dap. Please God, do it. That was far from bad. Kyle's best dap. What's up? How are you doing, man? This is the yak.
Starting point is 00:05:12 This is the yak. This is the show of all the talented, funny people. Jeez. This is the first time you brought me on here, Hoffman. Hoff amazing. This is the first time we've seen you in the office. The UK Chris Tucker. You know them way there?
Starting point is 00:05:23 That is what they call you um i haven't this is where do you sit i haven't seen your desk yeah no i ain't got a desk yeah isn't it like every time i see dave i ask him where's my desk everybody else has a desk i'm telling you i'm like big dave where's my desk like come on i'm main event i'm box office i want a desk you know i mean i want a couple chair leaders around my desk if you call him big dave you're probably talking to the wrong person. Yeah, yeah. No, no, because I call Big Cat Garfield, because where we're from, a Big Cat is Garfield.
Starting point is 00:05:51 That or Heathcliff, even. You know what I mean? I had to ask Big Cat if he was doing Dave's Pizza reviews, because the picture that I saw circling online was a bit mad fun. You know what I mean? It was a lot. Big him up all day, all day, all day. I'm telling you. Took the words right out of my mouth. Kyle, do you want to work out your latest British slang?
Starting point is 00:06:08 Are you good? I don't know the British slang. I can't duplicate it, but I'm fascinated by it. Yeah, well, it's pretty easy. That wasn't British slang. I want every word out of your mouth to be something that a typical American wouldn't say. Yeah, you don't say, you know them way that. You don't say, ain't it by the bitch? That's what you don't say. Nick says it. Yeah, that's what American wouldn't say. Yeah, you lot don't say, you know them way there. You lot say, ain't it bad a bitch?
Starting point is 00:06:25 That's what you lot say. Nick says that. Yeah, that's what you lot say. I'm Big Man Ting. That's what you lot say. You lot don't say, you know like that. You lot don't say it's peak. It's peak, yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:37 Would you go quay for a Mackey's Ting? Quay. The weather's a bit peak. Yeah, nah, quay. Nah, nah, quay. That means far away. Far away. It'd be staying in a yard peak. Yeah, nah, quay. Yeah, nah, nah, quay. That means far. Far away. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:46 We'll go quay, man. It'd be staying in a yard not doing bits, big man Ting. Oh, oh, so you know a bit, man. Okay. Okay. Okay. Kyle, you sound like Microsoft Sam when you're saying that. I've been working on a UK Rosetta Stone and now.
Starting point is 00:06:59 I'm learning. I'm learning. I might have to quiz you. Let me pull up my list. Oh, you have a list? It might take a while. You got to shoot the shit. Every five minutes, man's telling me.
Starting point is 00:07:09 Every five minutes, I'm here. Yeah, man's like, yeah, ex, bet, bet, bet. What do you mean bet? I'm like, I didn't put no money down on the table. What do you mean bet? That's been whitewashed, too. It's whack now. We say like go to sneaky goat.
Starting point is 00:07:21 What's a word that hasn't been whitewashed, Kyle? Shit. So I was telling him earlier today, me and you talked to the WWE champion Big E. We did, man. And you have like – you're a big football guy, right? And that's what your claim to fame is, but you're also a huge, gigantic wrestling guy. Troops is as well. I'm glad you called it football as well, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:07:43 It's wrestling. You didn't call it soccer. You're putting respect on our names. The R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Shout out Aretha Franklin, fam. Shout out. No, let's not get into those debates. I'm getting into a song, bro.
Starting point is 00:07:53 You know what I'm saying? That's about it. So wrestling is big in the UK. Yeah, it's massive. The freestyle wrestling, amateur wrestling is not. No, no, no, no. We're not talking about the Saved by the Bell, A.C. Slater. I got headphones on. We're not talking about the Saved by the Bell, AC Slater. I got headphones on.
Starting point is 00:08:05 We're not talking about that. Obviously, big up Kurt Angle and his gold medals and that, but we're talking about WWE. That's the new wave. You know, Kyle's an amateur wrestler. Oh, is it? Well, he was an amateur wrestler. D1. Oh, is it? Division 1. Division 1? That's the highest level in America. Oh, is it?
Starting point is 00:08:22 I've always wanted to know, how would an amateur wrestler fare in the UFC, blood? It's an increasing trend to go into it. They're hit or miss. They're hit or miss. Nah, because you know you're- They can't spar. They can't punch.
Starting point is 00:08:35 They can't throw hands, but they can grapple on the ground. Yeah, but obviously, they wrestle in the UFC, but your chin can't lift weights. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. So if you get hit once, blood, it's the end of the road, fam. You know what I mean? Like Boyz II Men. You already know,
Starting point is 00:08:47 I took the word right out of my mouth. You know what I mean? You and I are on the same wavelength. You're learning, fam. You're tag team, bro. I'm telling you, bro. I don't know who Big E is. No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:08:57 You need to put some respect on his name. I don't know who Big E is. Put some respect on his fucking name. No, no, no. You can't do that. There's other ways to say that. Respectfully, I don't know. The way you said that.
Starting point is 00:09:04 I'm not a wrestling fan. Respectfully, I don't know who Big E is. Yeah, but he's the WWE champion. He's the main man. Can we pull up Big E? You should have that as a wallpaper on your phone, Big Man. I will now. You're a champion.
Starting point is 00:09:19 I am a big man. I guess you're Big E. God damn, he is big. Look at that. My G and a. Yeah? You patterned that biggie Look at that God damn he is big Look at that My G you know Yeah You patterned that for us God damn
Starting point is 00:09:29 My bro He's got big titties My word Where does he stay We call them titties I don't know what you guys call them We call them pecs Pecs
Starting point is 00:09:36 Oh pecs You know what I mean Pectoral muscles and that So if a girl walked in We talk about her pecs No no no She's got jugs Jugs
Starting point is 00:09:43 The twins The Mary Kate and Ashley I think all of them The Greek weddings Greek weddings walked in we talked about her no no no no no no she's got jugs you know the twins the mary kate and ashley's i think all of them make weddings we love them you in the busty petites no i i'm a breast man fam tell you i ain't talking about kfc yeah just no well i don't know what he likes so you do you you are in the busty petites i don't know what busty petites is before you try to draw me out of american slam what's busty busty petites is a lifestyle yeah oh yeah so it's it's when a girl's petite she's small about 110 but she's busty okay yeah yeah no no i'm about that so i don't really i'm not really fan a girl that are taller than me and i'm trying to be wearing timberlands and that
Starting point is 00:10:20 wearing the same size trainers as my girl that could not happen absolutely big feet like i don't like gal with surfboard feet that's just me in it Timberlands and that Or wearing the same Size trainers as my gal That could not happen Absolutely Gal with big feet Like I don't like gal With surfboard feet That's just me isn't it Nah I'm on that I'm on that
Starting point is 00:10:30 I do that too That describes me as well Also It's wavy You look at my data history That's They're small Small footed women
Starting point is 00:10:39 Small footed gals Why not So you like You like it here so far I'm really enjoying myself How long are you here Well now I'm leaving next week Small-footed gals. Why not? So you like it here so far? I'm really enjoying myself. How long are you here? Well, now I'm leaving next week.
Starting point is 00:10:51 I think next week, Tuesday, I'm leaving, unfortunately. But I've been here for just under two weeks, and I'm really enjoying it. So are you going to be back and forth a lot? Are you going to move over here eventually? My fear of flying is done. You know what I mean? And if you keep getting me these WWE gigs, bro, I'm going to be flying back and forth like a Learwood boy. Just know, bro.
Starting point is 00:11:06 I can get them. I'll have you at Survivor Series this Sunday. Yeah, bro. I'm ready, bro. I'm ready, ready, ready. Come on, bro. Line it up, my G. My God.
Starting point is 00:11:16 Line it up. I got it. All right. What does this mean? Few bevies with the bois, then a quick scran. With the boys, with the boys, blood. Well, bevies would be beverages. I understood so far.
Starting point is 00:11:26 Starting on easy. A quick scran from the chippy. That's up north, so that's not really how I talk, but scran is food. Okay, so a quick meal. Quick food from the chippy. What's that? Chip shop. French fries.
Starting point is 00:11:38 So, yeah, you lot call it French fries and that, but we've got something called a chip shop where we sell, like, fish and chips. I don't eat fish blood. You know them way there. But, yeah, fish and chips. And then on the fish blood. You know them way there. But yeah, fish and chips. And then on the way back to the gaffer, on the way back to the house. Home, yeah. Your yard. Okay. Late notice link up with the mandem. Then going to see what Mainlink is saying.
Starting point is 00:11:56 Maybe get a cheeky tap on the way home, but got a bell bear slags because Mainlink probably out of town. Bro, that is a lot of information. You upped the difficulty. You could have at least broke it down. You know them way there. See what Mainlink probably out of town. Bro, that is a lot of information. You upped the difficulty. You could have at least broke it down. You know them way there. See what Mainlink is saying.
Starting point is 00:12:13 Maybe get a cheeky tap on the way home, but got a bell bear slags. Yeah, see what Mainlink is saying. See what my main thing saying is. Gal, my actual gal, not my side thing. Not the coleslaw, not the halloumi cheese, blood. Come on, the other gal. Not the coleslaw. Yeah, the gal that you show your feet and that blood your wifey you know them way there that's what it means yeah link her blood all right then still man said he got
Starting point is 00:12:31 peas so we so we gonna get minged on jank sip say that again he got peas so we gonna get minged on jank sip he's got money so're going to get drunk on whatever drink that is, blood. I don't know what that is, blood. I'm hoping it's a drink. Proper slick of disc, no trampone, skimp it. Yeah, now you got that. You literally made that up, blood. You know them way there.
Starting point is 00:12:57 You made that up. This guy's lost his mind, blood. You need Cerebro, like Charles Xavier and that to get it back, bro. What about Bill Azut while taking a scudsy? Yeah, I know exactly what that is,
Starting point is 00:13:09 bro. Bill Azut is going to roll you around this bat, bro, or a baseball bat size of a spliff, bro. And what's the other thing?
Starting point is 00:13:16 Ah, fuck, what'd I just say? I don't know. Taking a scudsy. See, that's the reason why my mouth's so dry now
Starting point is 00:13:23 and I'm licking my lips, bro, like LL Cool J, bro. You know what I'm saying, bro? Anyone got a bottle of water? We can get you water. Can I get a bottle of water, please? Yeah, I'll go get him some water.
Starting point is 00:13:33 Get me some. Man's licking my lips. Bear, bro. Man think that I'll get me in a room full of man. That's not a good look, bro. Come on. Can I get some water, please? He'll hurry up.
Starting point is 00:13:42 Water. Water. Wait, did you really want water? Yeah, he's licking his lips. Come on, bro. Yeah, now definitely, bro. Hurry up. 100% my G.
Starting point is 00:13:49 Love that. Yeah, what was you saying? Come on. I'll carry the show, bro. Big X is here, bro. The show must go on, bro. Let's go. You get me?
Starting point is 00:13:56 I'm the semi-host now, bro. I like it. This is his show. Yeah, let's go. This is your yak. Kyle, you got... What a fucking pal of her. Absolute nonsense fella
Starting point is 00:14:05 At least the old Currant and bun was out Let me read that Because I'm thinking You're doing up Floyd Mayweather You can't read That's not what it says
Starting point is 00:14:13 That is not what it says My bro Love that I think a lot of these Are American guys Just fucking with me Alright how's that water hit We are back in business
Starting point is 00:14:24 Genetically jacked Athletically stacked stacked, half man, half amazing, modern day, max six foot of chocolate, make you wonder like Stevie. Let's go. Woof. You know what I mean? You all right? Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:35 Brandon, you're going to SummerSlam? Survivor Series. But yeah, we're going to Survivor Series on Sunday, yeah. I can't wait, boy. Are you dressing up as Santa Claus for the Christmas party? I understand. That's what Dave said Did he Yeah
Starting point is 00:14:49 I understand my beard Is coming in a little crazy So you're gonna do it No I'm not gonna be Santa Claus Why wouldn't you be Hold on Why can't I be Santa Claus Because you're British
Starting point is 00:14:56 Why can't I be Santa Claus Because you're British So what No you're British Nobody would believe it I could put on an American accent You people In the US Think that all the UK people speak like we're from Harry Potter.
Starting point is 00:15:07 Well, do an American accent. Oh, can I have a spot of tea, please? Oh, yes. Can I go down to the pub and have a beer? That's just your voice. Or you think we speak like this. Oh, you're right, mate. Oh, you want to go down in the pub?
Starting point is 00:15:19 You know what I mean? Sink a few bevies, a few sambutas, a couple of tequilas. You know what I mean? You saying that we all think that is awfully Slytherin of you. Slytherin? How dare you? I watched a box set before I came. I know exactly what you're trying to do.
Starting point is 00:15:34 Gryffindor! Gryffindor! How dare you? The boss of this family told you you're going to be Santa Claus. You're Santa Claus, so shut the fuck up about it. Oh. So give us an American accent then. Say British slang and an American accent.
Starting point is 00:15:50 British slang. Oh wow. That's pretty good. That's what it is but it depends what part of America you know what I mean because I heard down in Texas they talk like this. Yeah you sound like Brandon. You know what I'm saying. Just like me. There's different American in that. So just like there's different UK. You know like that. That's what I'm saying but yeah man like what I'm saying? Just like me. There's different American in that. So just like there's different UK, you know, like that.
Starting point is 00:16:06 That's what I'm saying. But yeah, man, like when I'm bumping into people, they're like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You're from Lani. You're from Lani. Oh, my God. The way you talk.
Starting point is 00:16:17 Oh, my God. I love your voice. I was like, what else do you love, baby? You know what I'm saying? You're telling me. I'm a walking tripod. I got three legs. you and i have a lot more in common than i thought penally i said penally you know hey that is a good word but i'm
Starting point is 00:16:33 bringing that back to you thank you penally penally blood and i don't know what he means but i know what i mean so troop said it's kind of uh feminine or even gay to eat box, to eat pussy. To eat what, blood? Pussy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, to eat fish, blood. You know them way there. I told you, man, I don't eat fish, blood.
Starting point is 00:16:54 And you know what it is, yeah? Obviously, I don't eat tuna. Man don't eat any of that thing. I don't eat fish at all now, blood. But it's one of them ones where like, yeah, brother, if a girl does get man to do that, she's got to be the wifey for years and that,
Starting point is 00:17:07 you know what I mean? It's not something that I'm interested in doing, you know what I'm saying? Like we got a, for years? We got a saying that, you don't go,
Starting point is 00:17:14 you don't go where you came from, blood, you get me? Man came out of a woman that way, blood, why is man trying to go back, blood? You know them way there,
Starting point is 00:17:20 fam. Like I exit, blood, man's not trying to enter, fam. That's what it is. But, but, saying that, saying that, I'm not saying, oh, there'll never be a day them wait there fam like i exit like man's not trying to enter fam that's what it is but saying
Starting point is 00:17:25 that saying that i'm not saying i there'll never be a day that man don't do that but yeah she has to be my special woman in it and yeah am i married no blood yeah you get me fam married to the streets baby fuck probably hit you with another one oh hold on there's a yak orientation yeah we have something if he's gonna be on the yak he has There's a yak orientation. Yeah, we have something. If he's going to be on the yak, he has to do a certain thing. What's that? Yeah. Family feud.
Starting point is 00:17:49 You got to play family feud. Yeah? Do you have family feud in the UK? I don't know. Do you understand the... Yeah, because that's where the turkey skit came from. I have family feuds in the UK, blood, because I've got family that are trying to stick it on me, brother.
Starting point is 00:18:00 I don't know what he's saying. You got to do your inbred shit. No, no, no. Less of that, blood. Less of that. Only for when I'm inbred, yeah, or my chicken sandwiches, blood, yeah? None of that, blood. But I don't know what he's saying. You got to do your inbred shit. No, no, no. Less of that, bro. Less of that. Only for when I'm inbred, yeah, or my chicken sandwiches, bro, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:07 None of that, bro. You know what I mean? I'm not trying to hit any of that, bro. Jesus Christ. Yeah, pattern that up, fam. You get me, bro. Man don't marry our cousins
Starting point is 00:18:13 or none of that thing over there, bro. How are they just astronomically better at speaking, though? I'm not having any of that, bro. It's incredible.
Starting point is 00:18:18 Bread is man mad, fam. Less of that, bro. God damn it. All right, you have to play Family Feud. So you answer this question. Name an article of clothing that's often made of leather. A leather jacket, bro. God damn. All right, you have to play Family Feud. So you answer this question. Name an article of clothing that's often made of leather. A leather jacket, Blackpool.
Starting point is 00:18:29 Jacket. Good answer. Good answer, good answer, good answer. That's number one. All right. You're off to a good start. But you have to get five answers, not just one. Oh, what, more?
Starting point is 00:18:38 Yeah, you've got to roll with it. Leather shoes. Shoes. Leather belt. Belt. God damn. Wow, this guy. He's going in order.
Starting point is 00:18:46 Jesus. Jesus. You ran up against the wall. No. You got 30 seconds. Think of other articles of clothing. Lever bag. Start from the head. I'm not really clothed. Do you wear a bag? I guess you can.
Starting point is 00:19:03 You do wear a bag. I don't know. What would a belt go on, though? Where would you put a belt? You motherfuckers wear mittens. Yeah, you do. Leather sweater? Where do you put a belt? Leather sweater? Holster?
Starting point is 00:19:15 What do you mean? I already guessed it. I guess they lumped it in a jacket. For God's sake, say pants. God damn it. Pants. Begging for pants. Begging for pants.
Starting point is 00:19:24 Socks. Leather socks. That would be the worst thing maybe ever. Leather pants. Bagging for pants. Socks. Leather socks. That would be the worst thing maybe ever. Leather vest. Stone Cold Steve Austin. Oh, yes. Yes. That's a waistcoat.
Starting point is 00:19:31 We call it a waistcoat, blood. No, that's a terrible name for a waistcoat. We call it a waistcoat, blood. That's neither waist nor coat. Vest is a far superior word for that. We call it a waistcoat, blood. Yeah. Why didn't you just go...
Starting point is 00:19:42 I would have known, blood. I didn't know it either. Oh, okay. Fair enough. Pack of blank. Pack of cigarettes. Cigarettes. What do you guys call...
Starting point is 00:19:52 Okay. No, no, no. Let's not. A pack of cards. Playing cards. Like, playing cards. No, no. Run that back.
Starting point is 00:20:00 A pack of sweets. Sweets? What's a sweet? Candy. Candy. Gum. Oh, is it happening now? A pack of sweets Sweets? What's a sweet? Candy Candy Gum What's happening now? A pack of crisps
Starting point is 00:20:10 Chips Potato chips You're too British You're too British Potato What do you mean? You're way too You're too British
Starting point is 00:20:17 I don't know A pack of cigars It's the same thing Smokes, isn't it? I thought I was going to get someone killed Oh, let's go Look at it Garfield by G-Blood Help me out Oh, let's crush it No, Iit? I thought I was going to get someone killed. Oh, let's go. Oh, look at it. Garfield by G,
Starting point is 00:20:25 help me out. Oh, let's crush it. I'm fine. Jesus, fam. Nah. You guys can't be on the show contractually at the same time. Pack of donuts? Pack of donuts. What's up? What do you mean? They come in packs,
Starting point is 00:20:41 Vlad. Not quite. This is some joke, man, Ting, Vlad. Nah, nah. Less of this, bruv. You don't like this? You did good the first time. I didn't get any more, bruv. Lies.
Starting point is 00:20:52 What the fuck is a pack of lies? Nah, that's some joke, Ting, Vlad. This ain't got nothing to do with family. You man are trying to embarrass me, bruv. You got absolutely shit. I'm not trying to embarrass you. You're getting beat by a woman. Who's Charlie, Vlad? Charlie?
Starting point is 00:21:03 Why is she smiling as well, Vlad? Change that face, Vlad. I don't want to see that, Vlad. I'm going to beat her next round. You can make it up. If you don't, I'm going to beat her next round. Triple money right here. Triple points.
Starting point is 00:21:12 Yeah? Say no more. Let's go, Vlad. Oh, you're into it now, huh? Yeah, I'm into it, bro. I'm into it. All right. Let's go with...
Starting point is 00:21:20 Give me a word that rhymes with drunk. Punk. Punk. Punk. Ooh, good one. It certainly does rhyme. Sunk. Sunk. Sunk.
Starting point is 00:21:34 That's not a nice one. Sunk. Dunk. Dunk, yes, dunk. Funk. Funk. There you go. Monk.
Starting point is 00:21:44 Monk. She's winning. Monk. She's winning. Monk? What do you mean? You suck at this. You suck at this. Expressions, you're bad, dude. This is terrible.
Starting point is 00:21:53 I like your shoes, though. Good shoes. Let me see those shoes. Be quiet. Let me see them. Bunk. Oh, God. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:22:04 Bunk? Hunk. Hunk. Junk. What do you mean? Junk. Oh, God. Thank you. Bunk? Hunk. Hunk. Junk. What do you mean? Junk. Yeah, junk. My junk.
Starting point is 00:22:10 My junk. My junk. My junk. My junk. Junk, blood. It's over. What do you mean, junk, blood? Junk.
Starting point is 00:22:17 I've got five seconds, blood. What's going on, blood? I've got three strikes. I've got five seconds. I said junk. Junk. Junk. Junk.
Starting point is 00:22:21 Junk. What's the matter with you? It's America. You get three strikes. You get three strikes. You already used them. Oh, whatever, blood. This is jump, jump. What's the matter with you? It's America. You get three strikes. You get three strikes. You already used them. Oh, whatever, Vlad. This is fake, fam.
Starting point is 00:22:28 You lot didn't tell me that, Vlad. No, this is as real as it gets. No, it's not. This is how we determine. You see Charlie? Yeah. She's in the next room. You have to eat her pussy now.
Starting point is 00:22:37 Yep. Vlad, Vlad, Vlad. You have to eat her pussy. I had breakfast already, Vlad. You know what I mean? I've got nothing left. He's a Bushman of the Kalahari. You don't eat pussy?
Starting point is 00:22:46 Fam, I don't go where I came from, that's what I said. So you're like Troops. You guys are toxic masculinity. He's whistling through the wheat field. No, it's not toxic masculinity,
Starting point is 00:22:57 fam. All you got to do is just watch one video. It's having less things to scrape off my tongue. Like Stephen Che, Stephen Che watched one video about how to eat pussy,
Starting point is 00:23:04 now he's a pussy god. Oh, swear that. Are you one too, big cat, bro? Do you use your tongue more than your third leg, bro? That's the question I got for you, fam. Is that what it is? Are you one of them tongue tornado guys, bro? Tongue tornado?
Starting point is 00:23:16 Yeah. He is. Why are you guys wearing? Why are you wearing? We got to do this thing for Frankie. We were told to wear this stuff for the drone. Oh, that's why they gave me that hoodie, blud. I didn't even put it on, fam.
Starting point is 00:23:26 My bad. Oh, wow. You're just not going to put it on? No, I tried it on, but I took it back off because it didn't match my tracksuit bottoms. I was thinking, where's the bottoms, blud? You know what I mean? Yeah, you got to put it on just for the thing. Yeah, let's go.
Starting point is 00:23:35 I'm ready, fam. You want this one? No, I got one at my desk. My rented desk. Can I have this one? So wait, how long are you here for? Till next week. Are you coming Survivor Series? What is that? What do you mean, what's that, blud? desk can i have this one uh so wait how long are you here for till next week you're coming are you
Starting point is 00:23:45 coming survivor series uh what is that what do you mean what's oh i saw you at wrestlemania i saw you at wrestlemania i do like wrestling is is is survivor series here it's in barclays oh really sunday yeah sunday's for football you know that what college football no pro football no what nfl blood so here's the best part about expressions right now he still thinks actually Pro football? No. Pro football. Oh, soccer. No. What? NFL blood. So here's the best part about expressions right now. He still thinks – actually, no, your team's not playing on Saturday, right? Sunday. Troops thinks that we're going to do a soccer stream.
Starting point is 00:24:20 Now, I know. In Hoboken on a college football Saturday, with six televisions, and not one of those televisions is going to be on college football. That's what he thinks. No, he said one, blood. He said he's going to allow you to have one television. No, no, no. We're going to get five, and you guys get one. What do you mean five?
Starting point is 00:24:37 You don't need five. You don't need five. We have hundreds of games going on. I think you're loonies about five on it, blood. We need more than that, blood. I might give you two. Give him three. The three-fifths compromise.
Starting point is 00:24:49 The disrespect is real out here, isn't it? No, it's not. It's a Cosmo Ball Saturday. We only get 12 of them in a year. College football, blood. You guys play soccer all year long. So what? So what?
Starting point is 00:24:59 What is it? Match day 14? You're not going to watch it on your phone? That's a disrespect, fam. You might come watch that on your phones but on your laptops on your ipads you know i mean i got one for you on your surfboards what about what is smanging bits and bobs till i've had enough of you chinwag what's a chinwag I'm a made guy on this show.
Starting point is 00:25:26 I'm tenured. What's chin wag? What's chin wag? Tell me. I've never heard a chin wag in my life, fam. A chin wag? You know them way? If you want to hear a thing.
Starting point is 00:25:33 Couple of shandies with me better half, a lovely Ruby Walsh, and hopefully she lets me get my leg over. That's all dead, blud. Let me teach you words that you should want to be knowing. What we call, we call that down there for the woman. We call that a punani, blud. You get me? The Chronicles of Punania, blud. That knowing what we call we call that down there for the woman we call that a punani blood you get me the chronicles of punania blood that's what we call that fam you know them way chronicles of punania doesn't sound like narnia at all yeah you man think that we're gonna be c.s lewis narnia's cold place c.s lewis with lion witch in the wardrobe don't even get me started don't even get us started. Don't even get me started on that. Don't even get us started on that, bro. You get me?
Starting point is 00:26:05 We call the bum, we call it the bunda. You know them way there? The bunda? Yeah, the bunda. She's got a bunda. She's got a back. You know them way there? And the better it is, the louder you say it?
Starting point is 00:26:14 Yeah, obviously, if a girl hasn't got no bum, we say she's got no back like a kitchen apron, you know what I mean? No kitchen apron's got no back, fam. You get me? That's what we say, black bro. You're just making so much sense. Yeah, I know, man. I'm here to no back, fam. You get me? That's what we say, Black Bo. You're just making so much sense. Yeah, I know, man.
Starting point is 00:26:27 I'm here to educate you, man. Big X in the building. No like that. Oh, my. You ever slow down a little? No, I don't have to, Black. You know what I'm saying? I'll just go out.
Starting point is 00:26:39 Like I said, I'll go out. Get me right after this. I'll go out. Another round is back. And if you don't call me to be on another show, I'm active, B. Told you, I'm active. Be told you. I'm half man, half amazing, bro. You get energy, energy, energy.
Starting point is 00:26:49 That's Vince Carter. I mean, you can't take that from Vince Carter. Now, you know, he took that from me, but I don't care. Is that true? He did. He's Vince Carter. I know Vince McMahon fan. That's who I know.
Starting point is 00:27:00 So you're a big wrestling fan, too. Yep. Hundred percent. Who's your favorite wrestler of all time? All time. Yeah. Probably going to have to be Shawn Michaels, bruh. Oh, that's a good answer. Brett screwed Brett, to be fair.
Starting point is 00:27:08 You know what I mean? Brett screwed Brett, innit? I'll say that on wax, bruh. Big up Shawn Michaels, the art break kid and that. Shout out Jose Leferio as well, bruh. That's a deep cut right there. You know them way there, fam. That's a very deep cut. We can get you in a room with Shawn Michaels.
Starting point is 00:27:25 Bruh, listen. Look at you, fam. That's a very deep cut. We can get you in a room with Shawn Michaels. Listen. Look at you, Brandon. Brandon's my guy, you know. I got him. He interviewed Big E today. Prof, look at that. I hooked that up for him. Just hooked that up just like that.
Starting point is 00:27:34 It was light work for Brandon. You know them way there. Yeah, light work for him. He's a rainmaker, yeah. Man going in, fam. Brandon likes the new thing on the block. So as soon as you're tired and he'll spit you out. No, no, no. My ting won't ever fizzle out
Starting point is 00:27:46 No, he's not going to fizzle out They said the same thing about Walk the Line I didn't see that They said the same thing about Morning Sunshine No, no, no, them DVDs I didn't rent, fam They were good shows They were not bad shows Morning Sunshine was good
Starting point is 00:28:02 The best shows end The worst shows keep going. That's true. What, so what's the deal with this drone? It's going to kill someone? I find a drone in here in one minute, I guess.
Starting point is 00:28:12 And are we going to get, We're not allowed to look at it, but then they want us to throw paper airplanes at it. Should probably open the door, yes. Can I look directly at it? Are we going to, Let's ruin it.
Starting point is 00:28:21 Get put in places? I think they're just saying, continue the yak as normal but throw paper airplanes at the strong. But I'm not supposed to be in the yak. I'm supposed to be in the home. I was supposed to be in the seat out there wearing a hoodie that's on my desk. No, you can stay here. You stay here. Say no more.
Starting point is 00:28:36 Because this is going to be immortalized. Yeah. What does it mean if someone Where's the yak though? It's called the yak. Where's the yak fam? Where's the Kovac? We're yakking right now. Is, is that what you call yakking? You want cognac. That's what you want? Is that what you like?
Starting point is 00:28:47 You want cocaine. Which one do you want? Yeah, she's about talking. I don't want that Johnson's Johnson's, that baby powder. I'm not on any of that, blud. Yeah? None of that, fam. Nothing don't go up my nose, blud.
Starting point is 00:28:57 Really? Nothing? Nothing ever goes up your nose. Unless I'm shaving, blud. You boof it? You boof it? You like to boof your coke? You put it up your butt?
Starting point is 00:29:04 You boof it? Fam, the only coke that man has boof your coke? Huh? You put it up your butt? You boof it? Fam, the only coke that man has is Chase and Michael Vossier, blood, yeah? With ice, yeah? You know them way there. Santa coke, blood, yeah? The one that he's going to be handing out when he dresses up for Santa for the Christmas party, blood.
Starting point is 00:29:16 That's what he wants. Brandon's going to be Santa for the Christmas party. Dave's making him. I love it. I don't think. I said Brandon closing that. You're going in. Yeah, no, Dave's making you.
Starting point is 00:29:24 Thank you. I don't want to be. Why not? I'm not fat enough. I don't think... I said brand new clothes. Yeah, no, Dave's making you. Thank you. I don't want to be... I'm not fat enough. I don't... Oh, honey. Sweetie. Sweetie pie. Oh, sweetie pie.
Starting point is 00:29:33 Also, Santa has to be... I'm not jolly. I'm not a fat guy. Oh, no, you're the rudest in the office. Yes, thank you. Yeah, you're bad, Santa. Ever heard of it? Do you think I'm the rudest guy in the office?
Starting point is 00:29:40 You're Santa Claus. Nah, boy, you're the best ever. So shut the fuck up about it. You're fat as fuck. The boss of this family told me... I'm telling you, bro. The boss of this family told you you're going to be Santa Claus. Yeah. You're Santa Claus So shut the fuck up about it The boss of this family Told me The boss of this family Told you you're gonna be Santa Claus
Starting point is 00:29:47 Yeah You're Santa Claus Silvio Christopher Where's this coming from He's in Sopranos I just watched that episode KB went from 9-11
Starting point is 00:29:55 To Sopranos I wonder what's next Does it go tragedy I'm just saying Tragedy Premium candle Candle show Tragedy
Starting point is 00:30:02 When they made Bobby Bacalabi I don't wanna be Santa I don't wannaacalabi. Yeah. I don't want to be Santa. I don't want to. I'm shy. I'm shy. I don't like it. So if you're not Santa, who else is going to?
Starting point is 00:30:10 What's the other options? It can't just be you. We can hire a Santa from outside the company. We can bring in a Santa. We bring in clowns all the time. We bring in people. You can't bring in a Santa. You're not going to sit on a stranger's lap.
Starting point is 00:30:19 Why not? Oh, what? Are you looking forward to sitting on Santa's lap yet? Oh, yeah. Maybe. Say no more, Vlad. I hear that. Pause. Oh, yeah. Less. Say no more, Vlad. I hear that. All right.
Starting point is 00:30:26 Pause. Oh, yeah. Less of that. Oh, yeah. Less of that. Pause. Let me get in Men in Black where they got that. What's that?
Starting point is 00:30:32 That neuralyzer, yeah? I was never here, Vlad. Pause. This is a straight-ass program. Where am I, Vlad? All right, Brad. This show is straight. This show is the straightest show in America.
Starting point is 00:30:42 This is the straightest show at Barstool. Yeah, that's a fact. We're talking. Or maybe it's just you. It's hard to get a word off. I got one for you, though. What does it mean if someone get pawed on a pang sort? I've been wondering this one.
Starting point is 00:31:00 Bro, I keep telling you I need to be reading what you're saying because I don't know what that is, man. Show me your phone, niggas. What's a you're saying because I don't know what that is, man. Show me your phone, innit? What's a pang sort? I don't know. What is that? Are you sure you're not on, like, some Zimbabwean thing, man? You getting me?
Starting point is 00:31:12 Should you get Zaha here or something? He does do a lot of Zimbabwe research accidentally. Like, what's going on, fam? How often you accidentally look up Zimbabwe things? Yeah. He's on the wrong thing, bruv. What do you want? You're on the wrong thing.
Starting point is 00:31:23 No, this is the British slang hall of fame. Zimbabwe slang. Is that what you're on, blood? You get me? Z square and that. Let's do some Zimbabwe slang. I don't know any, blood. All right.
Starting point is 00:31:36 Well. Is that it? You ain't got no more slang for me? I got a lot. Now, you ain't got a lot because every time I give you one, you shut me down. Every time you give me one, it doesn't make any sense. You know what I mean? That's what it is, fam.
Starting point is 00:31:47 I don't know what's going on with that. When's that drone coming? I know. It should be coming. Where's Devlin? You got to shove him. Should we open the door? Maybe.
Starting point is 00:31:54 Are they making you shove him? Yeah. Well, no. They're having him shove me. That's funny. Maza. Remember the time he did that? These men just got a drone flying around the office like it's just normal.
Starting point is 00:32:04 What are we in Transformers, fam? We're in Transformers, yeah. Yeah? We're in Transformers. Mad ting. Mad ting. There's Devlin, so I guess I got to go push him. Or he has to push me.
Starting point is 00:32:13 Mazzolino, there's one for you. Yeah, he's getting ready to be shot. What? Mazzolino. What the fuck is that? When something, you can't believe it. Is it coming in this room? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:20 Mazzolino. Mazzos. I got to go out. What if you got absolutely cream crackered? Yeah, absolutely. See, that makes it. Absolutely cream crackered is wasted. Just drunk.
Starting point is 00:32:31 Wasted, yeah. Absolutely wasted. You booze? Do you booze? Do I drink? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here and there.
Starting point is 00:32:37 Here and there. You know what I mean? But I'm not at home, bruv. Keep it open, man. Keep it open. Yeah, we got to keep that open. You booze, coke, you drink. No, I don't.
Starting point is 00:32:44 And you root for Liverpool. And you tell lies, bruv, yeah? All right, Garfield, I've had enough of you, bruv. You boof coke, you drink, and you root for Liverpool. And you tell lies, Blatt, yeah? All right, Garfield, I've had enough of you, Blatt. You're just trying to troll me, bro. Getting my dosh ludicrously gingered with some gellers. Might be truffed off the boot, too. All right. Frank, are you directing this whole thing?
Starting point is 00:33:00 You failed the mission. Frank, you don't know any of this shit. You're not from england he's literally in his notes writing things black that is not off the internet black yeah that's off the interstate black that's where that's on what if we kick the drone out what if i kick it well i mean the whole thing over again what is it kind of funny it would be funny and i'm all for it. I'm not even going to think about doing that.
Starting point is 00:33:28 You're batting like 180 on this. All right, Travis Matthew, have we done that ad? No, no. Travis Matthew, go to TravisMatthew.com slash yak today and use the code yak20 for 20% off. No more searching for brands that fit right or cover all the bases from comfortable activewear and polos to elevated button-ups. Travis Matthew has men's lifestyle apparel you need for every occasion. The Dream Collection, the Cloud Collection, sorry, the Cloud Collection is incredible.
Starting point is 00:33:55 The Cloud Collection is a dream. That's what I meant to say. It's the greatest ever. You see me wearing it every single Sunday. You'd like it, X. Yeah. Yeah. You got jumpers? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got jumpers?
Starting point is 00:34:06 Yeah. Yeah. Jumpers, bro. Jumpers. Well, you're going to pat me up with one, yeah? Yeah, I got you. Say no more. Whatever you want.
Starting point is 00:34:11 Like Travis Matthews, yeah? Whatever you want. You're the softest in the world. Oh, yeah. Softest. Oh, yeah. Well, I need something, bro. Give me something.
Starting point is 00:34:17 What, um... Wait, you were for Tottenham, right? I feel like a woman's thighs on your cheeks. What's it like never winning a trophy? Well, you know what I mean? I'm not going to lie. We have won a trophy. Your best players.
Starting point is 00:34:28 The Caribou Cup? Yes, man. You know, bro. What the fuck is that? It's fake as fuck. No, no, no. Less of that, bro. You a Harry Kane fan?
Starting point is 00:34:37 Harry Kane spits when he talks. No, but that's like the Super Bowl. How about a big old pause on that? The Caribou Cup is like the Super Bowl, bro. No, it's not. It is, bro. You don't know. You know you don't.
Starting point is 00:34:44 You don't know, bro. I know more than you think. The Caribou Cup is like the Super Bowl. It Bowl, Vlad. No, it's not. It is, Vlad. You don't know. You don't know, Vlad. I know more than you think. The Carabao Cup is like the Super Bowl, Vlad. It's so fake. No, it's not. Put some respect on the Carabao Cup, Vlad. It's so fake. Trust me, yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:54 You don't win trophies. We may not win cups, Vlad. It's fine, fam. It's fine, Vlad. We may not win cups, but yeah. Your best player ever wants to leave. No, he doesn't, Vlad. He scored nine goals, Vlad. So you admit to Harry Kane's best player ever. That's sad No, he doesn't, Vlad. He scored nine goals, Vlad.
Starting point is 00:35:05 So you admit to Harry King he's your best player ever. That's sad. What? How is that sad? He's a tapping king. How is that sad? He's like one of the best English players in a lifetime. What are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:35:14 He's bigger than Pete Rose, fam. What are you talking about? He's bigger than Pete Rose. We've got to get you up to date on your American. Who else did these men like, Vlad? Who else, man? Pete Rose? Carmelo Anthony. Who else, Vlad? Who else, Vlad? Give me Who else? Carmelo Anthony.
Starting point is 00:35:26 Who else? Give me some other American guys. You give us. I'm trying, fam. Who else? I know you're trying. You went Pete Rose to Carmelo Anthony. Wayne Gretzky.
Starting point is 00:35:37 Who else? Ben Shapiro. Ben Shapiro. Hugh Hefner. Roseanne Barr. Roseanne Barr. Charlie Kirk. You might Barr. Roseanne Barr. Charlie Kirk.
Starting point is 00:35:47 You guys are trying to set me up. I know you're not funny. I'm not listening to you, man. Don't listen to him. Less of that, bro. I'm not listening to you, man. You're not patting up, bro. Put some respect on Harry Klaas.
Starting point is 00:35:57 Say you know the rest of them. It's my man. It's my man. I'm not going to sit here and let you talk about Harry Kane like that. You're my man. I'm going to talk about him whenever I want. What's you man's favorite sport, Vlad? Football. Football. Yeah, what's your favorite team, Big Cat?
Starting point is 00:36:08 Bears. Who plays for them, Vlad? Yes, you don't know. Baloo from Jungle Book, Vlad. Yes. Catching his back on the tree and that, oh, the Bears. Oh, Bear Necessities. Bear Necessities. Less of the Bears, Vlad. He's man mad. Smoking Bunch, fam.
Starting point is 00:36:22 Fucking relax, dude. I am relaxed. I am relaxed. I'm over stimulated you don't want to get him over stimulated his nipples get very hard what do you want us to do fucking relax I don't think people realize how crazy this drone thing is we're doing like the cowboy shoot
Starting point is 00:36:40 we know that drone shot I'm going to throw a ball paper for people at home if you look up bowling alley drone. Oh, that's this guy? From Minneapolis? I don't know. I think that's where it was. Are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready. Google bowling alley drone. It's awesome. We need like a baseball. So they said
Starting point is 00:36:56 don't look at it yet. But no, I don't know. I think we have to. I feel like this is the only people that are allowed to look at it. Because we're doing something for it. Boy. I feel like this is the only people that are allowed to look at it. Okay. Because we're doing something for it. All right. Boy. Oh, and then we got Chicken Fry making a TikTok in the background.
Starting point is 00:37:14 We've got Frankie doing the Daily 9. This is just what a day in the life looks like. A day at the ship. Just another day at the pirate ship. Oh, I hear it. Oh, here it is here it is here it comes here it comes here it comes wait no no you gotta talk don't don't be cocked ready to go yeah yeah we're just gonna talk we have to keep talking we have to keep talking yes yeah i mean it's supposed to be an
Starting point is 00:37:37 airplane yeah but don't don't get ready get you gotta act natural i am acting that's one, you went like this. Yeah, yeah, you were cocked. You were cocked and ready. You were cocked. Act natural. Oh, the push just came. All right, act natural.
Starting point is 00:37:53 Here it comes. Here it comes. Here it comes. We're talking. I don't know. I guess he just passed us up. Oh, I guess he's not coming in here. That sucks.
Starting point is 00:37:59 Okay. We got disrespected. We got disrespected. We got mad disrespected. You know what I mean? It just flew right by at night. All right, here we go. Are we looking at the drone or not?
Starting point is 00:38:07 We're not looking at the drone, right? I don't think so. We're just throwing something at it when it goes out? No, we're looking at the drone when it comes in. I think we're going to scare it away by throwing the paper airplanes at it. I think ideally, like, it didn't come in. It didn't come in here. Motherfucker.
Starting point is 00:38:22 It didn't come in here. I don't see any women in here. I can't believe this, blood. We got disrespected. Look, I've been holding this. I was waiting for this. Is your fingers tired? Are you okay?
Starting point is 00:38:32 Big cat, send an email, blood. All right, I'll send it. Send an email, blood. You ever been to... They never... We were waiting here for the drone to come in, blood. Look how you're dressed up for the drone. Mad disrespect.
Starting point is 00:38:41 Sometimes I feel like this company doesn't even think the yak exists. You would think that, yeah. It is unbelievable. It's kind of bizarre. Sometimes some of the people on the Yak don't even think it exists. You'd think that too. Ronan and Sass are just on a VK. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:38:55 We've got to pull up the Sass video. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. Him singing. He looks great. Will we get DMCA'd? It's karaoke version. Oh, I know what that is.
Starting point is 00:39:08 For karaoke? You know what DMCA is? It just skipped us? So we got screwed. They don't care about the yak here. It was supposed to go from me and Devlin to you guys and then to Brianna, but it went straight to Brianna. That's not her name.
Starting point is 00:39:22 Brianna. What is it? Brianna? Brianna. Expressions. You ever been to Cockney? To's not her name. Brianna. What is it? Brianna? Brianna. Expressions. You ever been to Cockney? To Cockney? Yeah. Where is that, blood? Cockney. Isn't that a place?
Starting point is 00:39:34 It's an accent. Cockney. Cockney. Do you hate Irish people? No, no, no. I love Ireland, blood. What? I love Ireland. Ireland. Ireland and Ireland IS land. Do you like Scottish people? Yeah. I like all people, man. You're trying to draw me out of that.
Starting point is 00:39:51 What island in the Caribbean? Where am I from? Yeah. I'm half Jamaican and half from Karakoo, which is the island of Grenada. You lot won't know where that is. I know St. Kitts and Nevis. Oh, you know where St. Kitts is, yeah? Okay. Yeah, ain't far. Ain't far, but it's closer to St. Vincent's.
Starting point is 00:40:07 Got it. Karakoo. But yeah, that's where I'm from still. But yeah, no, I like Irish people. I like Scottish people. Two very different- Who are the people you don't like? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:16 Give us a nationality or religion of people you do not like. There isn't a nationality or religion that I do not like. Well, that's not true. You don't like the Dutch. What do you mean? No, that's not true. You don't like the Dutch. You don't like the Dutch. I can see it. No, I love the Dutch. When was the last time you wore clogs?
Starting point is 00:40:30 Coffee shops all the time, blud. When was the last time you wore clogs? I live in coffee shops, blud. Amsterdam is the country that I've been to the most in my passport. Are you mad? Why? So you can fight them? I've been there 10 times, blud.
Starting point is 00:40:39 No, it's not, blud. Hate crimes? So I can make friends, fam. It's easier to do hate crimes. These men are trying to draw me out, blud. These men are trying to draw me out. Lud. These men are trying to draw me out. Lesser that, blud. Get me.
Starting point is 00:40:47 Russians? America, blud. How about that? You like Russians? Huh? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You don't fuck with Russians. Russians don't fuck with me, blud.
Starting point is 00:40:54 Yeah? Why? What do you mean, why, fam? You get me? I'm after apes, fam. I'm darker than Wesley Snipes. You should know why. You know them way there about why.
Starting point is 00:41:02 You know them way there, blud. Get me. Did you go to the World Cup in Russia? No, for that very reason, blud. Troops went. You know them way there, blud. You get me? Did you go to the World Cup in Russia? No, for that very reason, blud. Troops win. Yeah, troops can go, blud, because troops ain't, you get me, troops is a couple shades lighter than me, fam. It's a difference between Terrence Howard and Wesley Snipes, blud.
Starting point is 00:41:16 That's what I'm trying to tell you. Wesley Snipes and me, we're black wherever we go, blud. You get me? Troops can pass for different ethnicities when he goes abroad and that, but me, wherever I go, I'm black, black. You know what I mean? So Russia is a no-fly zone. Well, I'm not saying that everywhere is like that in Russia.
Starting point is 00:41:32 But for me, like the stories that I have, my sister went there and had her cab spat at. You know what I mean? Can't believe it. What? Yeah, you know what I mean? It was outrageous. Shit. So are you going to move here?
Starting point is 00:41:42 Are you going to move here? America? Yeah. I'm not going to lie. Eventually, this is where it's at. I tweeted it out. It's pretty fun. This is where it's at.
Starting point is 00:41:50 You went to a Knicks game, didn't you? Oh, yeah. Yeah, this is where it's at. And I'm not even going to lie. I want to see so much more of America as well. But no, this is where it's at, bro. That is the problem with England. You guys have sports once a week.
Starting point is 00:42:00 No, we do have sports. No, we've got sports more than once a week. But the one that we care about is once a week. Once a week, that's it, though. Yeah, yeah. There's sports every day in America. Yeah, nah, we've got sports more than once a week, but the one we care about is once a week. Once a week, that's it though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's sports every day in America.
Starting point is 00:42:08 Yeah, nah, no, and there's a lot of different ones as well. I heard that your favorite sport's lacrosse, blood. No, I do not like lacrosse. I own a team, but I hate them.
Starting point is 00:42:15 Oh, is it? This guy owns every thin black. You know what I mean? I know. I hate them. I hate them. I hate lacrosse.
Starting point is 00:42:22 It's the dumbest sport ever. Every time I watch it, I'm like, what am I doing watching this? Seriously. You bought the team to sabotage the sport from within. Yeah, to hopefully submarine them, but it's not working. They actually played well this year. Yeah, you were pissed. You were very upset.
Starting point is 00:42:37 Very upset. Oh, terrible. Why are you upset that your team's winning? Because I don't like them. Why did you buy them? Well, I didn't buy them. I was gifted. I don't like them why did you buy them well i didn't buy them i was gifted so i i don't have i don't own actually anything i own a like a crumb less than a crow this guy's out here
Starting point is 00:42:54 getting gifted uh lacrosse teams football teams and that blood and i can't even get a trophy but it's been 13 years big cat no you got the caribou cut in yeah 13 years oh It's been 13 years, big cat. No, you got the caribou cut. Yeah, 13 years. 13 years. I'm telling you, I ain't got a criminal record, bro. I feel like I've been in jail, bro. 13 years. You got to find a new sport. I did, bro. And then people are telling me the Knicks won't win something. No, you shouldn't be a Knicks fan.
Starting point is 00:43:19 Yeah, I bought a hat, fam. It cost me 30 bucks. $30. You know what I mean, fam? KB, why don't go Torso reveal for the drone For the drone If it comes in here Which I don't think it will I think they're going
Starting point is 00:43:31 Again If you tell it If you tell it What you're planning on doing I think it will come in Fuck all muck Are kicking back tonight Is it coming back in here or no
Starting point is 00:43:39 We need to get you An NFL team An NFL team Yeah And I think it needs to be Troops took the Ravens, and I think you need a team that's a rival to the Ravens. Who's a rival to the Ravens?
Starting point is 00:43:51 The Steelers? Are they better than the Ravens? Historically, yes. Historically, but what's going on right now? You're talking about a fucking caribou cup from 13 years ago. Hey, big cat, put some respect on that cup. Put some respect on that cup. I told you, that is the Super Bowl of the UK.
Starting point is 00:44:06 I hate to do this. I love you. Pittsburgh Steelers. Pittsburgh is the Swansea of America. Can you put some respect on the cup? All right, I'm going to put some respect on the cup. Yeah? All right.
Starting point is 00:44:15 Thank you, my G. Officially. That's me being a bigger man. I'm going to put some respect on the cup. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not a bigger man than me, but a bigger man in general. Well, technically, I am a bigger man than you. I'm Big X, man. I'm taller than you, Big Cat. No, you're not. I am. Well, technically I am a bigger man than you. I'm big X, man.
Starting point is 00:44:25 I'm taller than you, big K. No, you're not. I am. No, you aren't. How tall are you? Hide off. I'm 6'5", man. You're not 6'5".
Starting point is 00:44:31 I am, bro. Stand up. No, you stand up. No, you stand up. We do that at the same time, man. You stand up. You stand up. This is...
Starting point is 00:44:40 Sheesh. I got you to stand up. I got you to stand up. I can get you to do whatever I want. Are you petite? I knew you was stand up I got you to stand up I can get you to do whatever I want Are you petite? I knew you was gonna do that Are you shorty? Nah I'm not 6'2
Starting point is 00:44:51 I'm 6'2 and a half Womp womp You can check the wiki I'm wearing my MJ's I'll be taller than you You don't wanna do the reveal on camera Because you know I'm taller You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:45:01 What are you doing? You have to call me Big X I love those shoes Those are great fucking shoes You like these yeah? They're in all my patterns fam I'm taller. You know what I mean? What are you doing? They have to call me Big X. I love those shoes. Those are great fucking shoes. You like these, yeah? Great shoes. They're my patents, fam. I'm not going to lie.
Starting point is 00:45:09 I ain't seen them on the shelf here, but yeah, UK, you lot's trainers are mad. I walked into a shop. You guys can't wear nice shoes out in the UK. You got them scuffed up in like a weather spoon. Nah, nah, bro. You got them dripping.
Starting point is 00:45:19 Weather spoons. You know about weather spoons? You guys got one in every fucking town. This is the era. You're my G now, fam. Get me fam. That's been the case. you know about Weatherspoon you guys got one in every fucking town this is what I like this is yeah you're my G now get me fam now keep this mic on
Starting point is 00:45:29 this is he's the yak he's the number yeah my bro you know but yeah nah Weatherspoon's
Starting point is 00:45:33 is where are Weatherspoon's Weatherspoon's is just like that it's like a pub like little cheap thing that you just see you go there
Starting point is 00:45:40 if you just wanna pull you just wanna go there get a new cup that's what it is people just sit there drink there and it's just an absolute mazzolino you go there, get a gal and a new car. Make a day out of it. That's what it is, fam. People just sit there, drink there, and it's just an absolute mazzolino, innit? You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:45:48 A mazzolino. Nah, big man ting. You just go there to draw a gal. You don't go to Weatherspoon to have a nice time. You go there, like, you get me? We call it Scrap City, innit? You know what I mean? So you know, like, the end of your night.
Starting point is 00:45:57 You're not finding a busty petite. End of your night. If you ain't got something to go back home, oh, yeah, Weatherspoon. You know what I mean? You just see Bear Gal out there. You know what I mean? Draw a ting.
Starting point is 00:46:03 Go there with your art degree. Draw a gal. You know what I'm saying? And then go home,etherspoons, you know what I mean? You just see Bear Gyal out there, you know what I mean? Draw a thing, go there with your art degree, draw a gyal, you know what I'm saying? And then go home, blad. Yeah. You know what I mean? You have Neil Buchanan
Starting point is 00:46:09 in that fam, Art Attack, but I'm drawing gyal. You know what I mean? I ain't drawing photos, but I'm drawing gyal when I go out. I got my Chicktionary
Starting point is 00:46:15 with me everywhere I go, blad. Everywhere I go. You know, like that. We're on the same wavelength. Yeah, I love that,
Starting point is 00:46:22 my bro. I'm telling you. Yeah, Big Man Ting. Big Man Ting. Yak Erasure that we're on the same wavelength yeah i love that my bro i'm telling you big man ting yak erasure happening right before our eyes big up this show yak blood you know them way there fam love love being on here fam next time i come on you're natural yakking as well all right what about this one all this one uh i come on bros done chefed up some man for a lickle John. Love that. So, all right, come on, bro. Chefed up means stab man up, innit? Oh, this is... Poke man up, blood.
Starting point is 00:46:50 Jesus. For a lickle John? A lickle John, I'm assuming, yeah. A lickle John is like, he's robbed him for something, innit? But it could be a variety of things, blood. Do you know what I mean? It could be money. It could be drugs.
Starting point is 00:47:01 You know what I mean? But I'm going to chef him up, blood. What is it called? A lickle John? Yeah, okay. And then he said, Barbie was loving my piece. Obviously, it's just a Lock Arf ting. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:11 So, the Caucasian female. Yeah. Oh, it's a Barbie? Because you say black people, I don't want to say white. I'll say the Caucasian female, yeah, was loving off my ting, my Johnny, my Lexington Steel fam, my pipe, my Wesley Pipes, you know them way there? She was loving it off, blud, but obviously, we don't take her seriously, innit? I too have a Lexington
Starting point is 00:47:32 Steel. Yeah, I love that about you. That's how you have to get on the show. I'm telling you, man, blud, I'm telling you, fam, literally, bro. Can I see it? No, no, no, no. Show us your penis. Big cat, big cat. Show us Lex. No, no, no. Listen, big cat. Pause. How old are you? 36.
Starting point is 00:47:46 Wow. I don't know why I paused. Yeah? I can't show it to you, bud. 36. You got a younger sister? No. If he was younger, you'd show it? No, sister.
Starting point is 00:47:55 That's fucked, dude. I have a six-month-old daughter. Less of that, blood. Less of that. Less of that, blood. Uncle X. She called me Uncle X, blood. I love you, your daughter. Big her up, man. Less of that, less of that, blood. Uncle X, she called me Uncle X, blood.
Starting point is 00:48:05 I love you, your daughter. Big her up, man. I mean, love that. My brain, the fact that I paused
Starting point is 00:48:10 to say that I was 36. How long have you been 36 for? Almost a year. Yeah. Yeah, almost a full year. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:48:17 It's not good. It's not good right upstairs right now. What do you mean, blood? You're in your legendary years, fam.
Starting point is 00:48:23 I am legend like Will Smith, blood. No, I'm just tired. How old are you? Me, 31.'re in your legendary years, fam. I am legend like Will Smith, Vlad. No, I'm just tired. How old are you? Me, 31. Okay. I would have guessed younger.
Starting point is 00:48:29 Yeah, I know, Vlad. That's what I'm saying. Because black don't crack. I beat you to it. I beat you to it. I beat you to it. Yeah, no, I get credit for that. But are you on crack, though, Vlad?
Starting point is 00:48:38 No. I'm just saying you beat me to that, Vlad, because I'm not on that either, Vlad. Yeah, you're on coke. No, I'm not, Vlad. I keep telling you that. You're on your butt. Those are chasers, yeah? That's what it is, fam. Chas you're on coke. No, I'm not, blah. I keep telling you that. Those are chasers, yeah? That's what it is, fam.
Starting point is 00:48:47 Chasers for the drink. That's the only coke that man's got. Red can business. Oh, you're talking about Coca-Cola. Yeah, cola. Cola. What's going on? What are you, man, like over here? You guys like root beer over here, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:48:55 You like root beer? I fucking hate root beer. What are you doing? He's mad overrated. No? He's going to fly this way, come around. You guys are tossing airplanes at each other. Don't look at each other.
Starting point is 00:49:03 Oh, don't. You're giggling. You want to at each other. That's not how the show goes. Oh, you don't remember that now, yeah? Before they did that, before it was a don't care about us like Michael Jackson affair. Can I hit the drone with it? Can I go through it? I mean, what's going on with that?
Starting point is 00:49:15 He was about to. Yeah. We were going to show our penises. Small. All together? You ever seen one like those rats get their tails tied? You, man, are trying to make me smash the glass, fam. If I whip out the anaconda with that out here, you get me?
Starting point is 00:49:32 You, man, ain't going to be able to perform for your missuses again if you see my thing, so I'm not taking it out. Yeah, that's what it's going to be. You lot are going to be very disappointed. Are you ad-libbing right now? Yeah. Did you just ad-lib your own conversation? Ad-lib, man. I was saying, oh, my God, what is he doing? Oh, my God. Should I do-libbing right now? Yeah. Huh? Did you just ad-lib your own conversation? Ad-lib, man.
Starting point is 00:49:45 I was saying, oh, Michael, what is he doing? Oh, my God. Should I do this when they fly by? Yeah, you should. We should all do this.
Starting point is 00:49:50 We should all do it? Yeah. Frankie doesn't tell us what to do. Look how long my finger is. I might as well use this one. That's your Lex using steel, huh? We'll use that finger, blood.
Starting point is 00:49:58 It's going to be such a good goof. We'll use that finger, blood. Yeah, look at this. We'll use that finger, blood. Yeah, you got to do it too, KB. We'll use that finger, blood. Because people will be like. We'll use that finger, blood. Yeah, you got to do it too, KB. We'll use that finger, blood. Because people will be like, whoa, what? I think they had their dicks out.
Starting point is 00:50:10 You got to keep moving it. That makes it look real. It's like a worm on the outside. They'll know I never had mine out, blood. You know what I mean? They squirm around. Yeah, they squirm in the room. When the elephant trunk comes out, blood, it's big business.
Starting point is 00:50:22 You know them way there, fam. Big business. Look at the way man's looking, blood. Is that like an optical illusion? Because I don't see any sign of business. You know them way there, fam. Big business. Look at the way man's looking, blood. Is that like an optical illusion? It's not optical. You shouldn't see that, blood. You know them way there. Because when man look at it, it goes into a shell like a snail, blood.
Starting point is 00:50:33 How often are men looking at it? Right now, blood. Yeah, I'm trying to. You're trying to watch over him like the Lord Almighty. Less of that, fam. Eyes on the camera, blood. Turn that around. Eyes on the camera, blood. Proper yeah? Turn that around. Do you guys like proper meat gazing?
Starting point is 00:50:46 Proper meat gazing. Do you guys like... Hold on, hold on. Get it on me and Nick. Do you guys like... Even my finger's crooked. Do you like tits? You like titties?
Starting point is 00:50:56 We were just talking about that. We were talking about 100% flam tits. He likes flat colossal. He likes flat colossal. No tits, fat body. Big tits. That's Big Cat when he sees two big titties. What do you like?
Starting point is 00:51:09 The flat chested ones with like bottle corks on it. Is that your thing? I like fat tits. Yeah? Couple of boy slims. Fitties? With veins on them. Like going left and right.
Starting point is 00:51:19 Yeah, but do you like the ones with shape or the ones where she takes her bra off? One goes over there and one goes down the hallway. A little cockeyed. Sagittarius one dog's looking this way one dog's looking that way yeah madness all right i'm done holding my finger out of my i'm not saying that that thing ain't even coming in this is oh i might actually put my fucking hand up in my sleeve so it looks like there's a hand. What are you going to do? Oh, wait.
Starting point is 00:51:48 How are you going to? Oh, you're saying like this? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. You guys didn't have to stop. Yeah, we were just. Okay, so this I think think, looks more natural.
Starting point is 00:52:08 This is pissing me off. I'm almost... We can't believe it. Yeah. It's taken up the whole show. Look at this. Damn, how are those guys doing there? Looks good, right? Nick's just sitting there normally.
Starting point is 00:52:19 I don't know if it's... A lot of noise is being made. It's so annoying. In the background, we don't know what's going on We just sit in here Blood We're just Our little dinkies are out
Starting point is 00:52:29 Our little tiny dinkies Our little dinky dinkies Nothing Dinky do's The little dinky do's are just out Y'all don't know anything about dinkies Yeah Learn a dinky do
Starting point is 00:52:39 What's a dinky? You don't know anything about Having a little tiny penis Look at my dinky Nah nah nah I don't know about them Please It's cute though It is cute as a button.
Starting point is 00:52:47 Yeah, people always say my penis is very cute. Here we go. Alright, alright, alright. So we're talking, we're talking. I don't know what we're going to talk about now. We're going to talk, talk. This is really annoying. Drone camera is pissing me off.
Starting point is 00:53:02 Is this Frankie's fault? Oh, here we go. The shove just happened. And now we're throwing it at each other? Drone camera is pissing me off. Is this Frankie's fault? Drone camera, man. I can't even see the TV. Oh, here we go. Here it comes. The shove just happened. And now we're throwing it at each other? We throw it at each other? We're throwing it at each other.
Starting point is 00:53:11 Fucking sad. Yeah. Hey. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. We nailed that. Oh.
Starting point is 00:53:20 Oh, I think my penis was out. Oh, shit. My penis out? What went past my neck? Was that one of those or the drone? I think it was the drone. shit My penis out? What went past my neck Was that one of those Or the drone I think it was the drone It probably clipped me
Starting point is 00:53:29 It clipped me fam Did it? Have you seen that guy You should sue The bowling alley video This guy did was insane You should sue Hey well how do I go about that
Starting point is 00:53:37 I heard in America I heard in America You can sue someone When they step on your trainers Yes you can Very litigious You can sue them for anything KB what do you say
Starting point is 00:53:43 When somebody steps on your shoes? When someone... Someone said that to me. Oh, yeah. They said either fund the scuff or get tough about it. Oh, or get tough about it. Is that what he said? Yeah, that's exactly what he said.
Starting point is 00:53:58 What did you say? I shut down. But I didn't fund the scuff or get tough about it, so I won. We love that. We love that. Victory fan. Victory.
Starting point is 00:54:09 Victory black. Brandon, how was the shove? It was good. It felt good. Two solid shoves to the chest. He laid it in there pretty good. You guys did great. I think he still hates you.
Starting point is 00:54:17 You see our dinky dudes? You see our little dinky dudes? Devlin does not like dinky dudes. You see my little fucking heart is a rock. What's British slang for like a tiny little penis? We call that a KB. A cocktail weenie.
Starting point is 00:54:32 Oh, that's more. You know what I mean? What's them things called? A toothpick. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Wow.
Starting point is 00:54:42 Whoa, that guy's going. I am. Drones, hear me out. Play it out. Really? Obama differs. Well, that's the second one I've seen in my life. Topical.
Starting point is 00:54:52 He loves them. Loves them drones. I wasn't very lib cat of you. Double tap. No. What's happening? Have I been radicalized? I think you have.
Starting point is 00:55:04 Oh, my God. Oh, let's end with this. Let's end with this. I'm no man, I think I am at all. Oh, no, no. I'm a rocket man. Did he hook up? I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:55:21 He's got a buffoon in. That's Sass. That's the king of New York. Yeah? He usually sits in that chair. What's Sass. That's the king of New York. Yeah. He usually sits in that chair. What's that arm thing he's doing? He's, yeah. He kind of goes into his Bob Dylan impression here.
Starting point is 00:55:35 Right. He kind of struggles when he's not in the chorus. That girl is... Yes. Not listening. She sure is. Oh, here comes the man. She's getting drawn.
Starting point is 00:55:53 Oh, she moved back. That's not working. Imagine a man performing, man, come and draw your girl. That would be the ultimate disrespect, man. I'm not even going to lie. Big man ting. Nah, I wouldn't have it, fam. At least it hasn't gone viral. Turn the mic on him, bro. It's my mic Nah, I wouldn't have it, fam. Well, at least it hasn't gone viral.
Starting point is 00:56:05 Turn the mic on him, bro. It's my mic. You're chatting to my woman, blood. I don't know what you're saying. When I'm out here trying to perform, fam. You get me? That would be disrespect. How's he gonna take her home and look her in the eye if he
Starting point is 00:56:14 I know. She's gonna be thinking about sass. Yeah, that is me. Yeah. Oh. Jeez. What's she gonna do with that? All right, now.
Starting point is 00:56:20 Come on, now. Yes. It's gonna be a long, long time Till baby gonna get you up I don't think a woman has ever looked at me like that before, ever. I'm a rocky man She's doing a little one-leg Shakira ting. Yeah, her dance is a song. She thinks that her hips don't lie, blood, but they do.
Starting point is 00:56:46 I'm telling you, she's hella stiff, bro. You think her hips lie? Nah, she's stiff, blood. She's hella stiff, blood. She is stiff. She needs some WD-45, some oil, blood, some butter. She's stiff, blood. Expressions, plug your socials.
Starting point is 00:57:01 My socials, Iions Oozing on Instagram You know them way there Twitter Oozing? At Expressions Ooze Yeah, blood I'm oozing
Starting point is 00:57:10 What are you oozing? You're oozing I'm oozing charisma You need to be bandaged? Are you mad, fam? I love Expressions The other stuff That I ooze, blood
Starting point is 00:57:19 I leave in mouths, blood Because I'm not a father Just yet You know them way there, fam? Yeah? Female mouths, blood Let's get that in You know them way know them ways, fam? Female mouths, let's get that in. You know them ways there. Expressions oozing on Instagram, Twitter,
Starting point is 00:57:30 expressions ooze YouTube, expressions oozing, fam. Wait, so it actually is oozing? Yeah, fam. You can just type in expressions and I'll come up, I'm at Viagra on social media. You know them ways there, you man will see me, bro. God damn it.
Starting point is 00:57:45 Let's go. Oh, man. Sign know them way there. You man will see me, bro. God damn it. God damn. Come on. Let's go. Oh, man. All right. All right. Sign us off, too. Yeah. Who, me? Oh, jeez.
Starting point is 00:57:53 Well, you have been listening to the Yak Show. Obviously, you've had genetically jacked, athletically stacked, Hoffman, Hoff, amazing, modern day Mac, big X, box office, main event,
Starting point is 00:58:04 and obviously, we've had the team as well, blud. This might as well be my episode, fam. If I get invited back on the show, this will be the number one show, other than mine of course, blud. You know them way there? But yeah, we move, fam. Big up the mandem. Let's get a round of applause on that, blud. Come on, my Gs.
Starting point is 00:58:20 Gang business. Yak business. Alright. Yeah, gang business. Yeah, yak business. All right. Hell yeah.

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