The Yak - The Return Of British Slang With Expressions Oozing | The Yak 11-17-21
Episode Date: November 18, 2021Damn mackey tings...You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the act. It's the act.
It's the act.
Yeah, it's time to talk shop or do a Yankees mob.
It's the act.
It's the act.
You didn't shut the door?
Jesus.
Oh, he's quick.
He's agile for a big man.
It's the Yak.
It's the Yak.
Welcome back to the Yak.
We're all in our regular normal attire that we always wear.
It's not because we have to do a Black Friday commercial mid-yak.
We definitely made up all these paper airplanes just out of the joy of our heart, too.
We hired a drone guy, and 30 minutes into the yak, a drone will come in here,
and we have to throw paper airplanes at it. And I can't be in here during that because I have to go in the hallway
and recreate my push with Devlin because two years isn't long enough to squeeze that fucking storyline dry.
That's fine.
That's fine.
Yeah, so the Yak will be just KB and myself when this thing comes in here.
The Yak is, if we look at the chart, that's only happened once.
Oh, we do have a chart now.
We have the chart, and did that chart indicate that we've
ran through every single combination of all seven can we see the chart i don't think it no we haven't
because i've never done a nick sass he didn't include he did a great job but he didn't include
the zeros the ones that didn't happen yeah has there ever been a to have seen that only a roan
kyle there's never never been a roan kyle there There is never and will never be a sass Kyle.
No.
We wouldn't be able
to do that.
So the biggest combination
we've had is
the full group.
Yeah.
Which makes sense.
That actually feels like
the combination we've
gone the longest without.
It seems like it never
happens nowadays.
Correct.
It's sad.
The second one is
Can you control plus
on that bitch?
That's fun. With control plus in? Yeah. Okay.. The second one is... Can you Control Plus on that bitch? That's fun.
With Control Plus-ing?
Yeah.
Okay.
So the second one is Everybody But Me.
Yes.
The third one is Everybody But Sass.
Go over a little bit so we can see how many we're missing, though.
That's Everybody But Roan.
Huh.
Wow.
Who's that one?
Which one? Which one?
The one under everybody but...
Oh, that's everybody but Rone and Sass, and that's everybody but Rone.
No, there's no big cat in that.
Oh, no, no, you're looking at that one.
Yes, yes.
Yeah, so there's our combinations.
That's how many times we've done...
What's the best combination?
The very bottom.
Mm-hmm.
The very last one, I imagine.
The very last one?
Nick and Jimmy?
No, that would never work
As a show
In my opinion
There was an Owen J
Yak
What was that
There was
When was there an Owen
Jack special
Yeah we did the
The mock draft
I think it was the day
Where you like
You guys were all
Going to be out
It was just you two
Yep
Wow I don't remember that one
We got Mikey Podcast
In the booth today
Yeah
Chat let's hear it for podcasts.
On the ones and twos?
Mm-hmm.
Hey.
If you DM him, he will meet up with you and fuck you.
True.
Based on what I hear and know about him, yes, he will.
Yeah?
The statistics are there.
Yeah.
I did my first piece of content with, have you guys met Expressions yet?
I haven't met Expressions yet.
So he and I interviewed WWE Champion Big E today.
Was he excited to meet him?
Was he excited to meet him?
I said zero words on it.
I introduced it, and he took over.
I'm out of the loop.
Expressions is a new hire?
Yeah, he's a new hire.
He's a new British guy.
British guy.
He's here.
He's the Tottenham guy.
Right.
What does he look like? Let's go get him. Not's a new British guy. British guy. He's here. He's the Tottenham guy. Right. What does he look like?
Let's go get him.
Not the typical Barstool employee.
Atypical when it comes to Barstool employees.
That would be actually a good person to have in here.
He's a man, and he's straight.
But there's a twist.
You'll see.
Brandon and I look like we would dress like this normally you look ridiculous
boy did i get the raw end of the deal uh polar came with all the merch and she was like here's
kyle's the podcast you're on a hat you wear um and then she handed me mine and uh you look like
you're about to sell like bootleg chemistry equipment at a monster truck fair.
I look like I'm about to go play paintball.
That's what you look like.
Expressions, my guy.
What's up?
I'm Nick.
Either way, that's Nick.
That's Kyle.
All right.
Let me get this right.
Got it.
Not bad.
Wherever you want.
Right here is fine.
Right here is fine.
Chat, clip that smooth dap.
Please God, do it.
That was far from bad.
Kyle's best dap.
What's up?
How are you doing, man?
This is the yak.
This is the yak.
This is the show of all the talented, funny people.
Jeez.
This is the first time you brought me on here, Hoffman.
Hoff amazing.
This is the first time we've seen you in the office.
The UK Chris Tucker.
You know them way there?
That is what they call you um i haven't this is where do you sit i haven't seen your desk
yeah no i ain't got a desk yeah isn't it like every time i see dave i ask him where's my desk
everybody else has a desk i'm telling you i'm like big dave where's my desk like come on i'm
main event i'm box office i want a desk you know i mean i want a couple chair leaders around my
desk if you call him big dave you're probably talking to the wrong person.
Yeah, yeah. No, no, because I call Big Cat
Garfield, because where we're from,
a Big Cat is Garfield.
That or Heathcliff, even.
You know what I mean? I had to ask Big Cat if he was doing
Dave's Pizza reviews, because the picture that I saw
circling online was a bit mad fun.
You know what I mean? It was a lot.
Big him up all day, all day, all day.
I'm telling you. Took the words right out of my mouth.
Kyle, do you want to work out your latest British slang?
Are you good?
I don't know the British slang.
I can't duplicate it, but I'm fascinated by it.
Yeah, well, it's pretty easy.
That wasn't British slang.
I want every word out of your mouth to be something that a typical American wouldn't say.
Yeah, you don't say, you know them way that.
You don't say, ain't it by the bitch? That's what you don't say. Nick says it. Yeah, that's what American wouldn't say. Yeah, you lot don't say, you know them way there. You lot say, ain't it bad a bitch?
That's what you lot say.
Nick says that.
Yeah, that's what you lot say.
I'm Big Man Ting.
That's what you lot say.
You lot don't say, you know like that.
You lot don't say it's peak.
It's peak, yeah.
Would you go quay for a Mackey's Ting?
Quay.
The weather's a bit peak.
Yeah, nah, quay.
Nah, nah, quay.
That means far away. Far away. It'd be staying in a yard peak. Yeah, nah, quay. Yeah, nah, nah, quay. That means far.
Far away.
Yeah, yeah.
We'll go quay, man.
It'd be staying in a yard not doing bits, big man Ting.
Oh, oh, so you know a bit, man.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Kyle, you sound like Microsoft Sam when you're saying that.
I've been working on a UK Rosetta Stone and now.
I'm learning.
I'm learning.
I might have to quiz you.
Let me pull up my list.
Oh, you have a list?
It might take a while.
You got to shoot the shit.
Every five minutes, man's telling me.
Every five minutes, I'm here.
Yeah, man's like, yeah, ex, bet, bet, bet.
What do you mean bet?
I'm like, I didn't put no money down on the table.
What do you mean bet?
That's been whitewashed, too.
It's whack now.
We say like go to sneaky goat.
What's a word that hasn't been whitewashed, Kyle?
Shit.
So I was telling him earlier today, me and you talked to the WWE champion Big E.
We did, man.
And you have like – you're a big football guy, right?
And that's what your claim to fame is, but you're also a huge, gigantic wrestling guy.
Troops is as well.
I'm glad you called it football as well, isn't it?
It's wrestling.
You didn't call it soccer.
You're putting respect on our names.
The R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Shout out Aretha Franklin, fam.
Shout out.
No, let's not get into those debates.
I'm getting into a song, bro.
You know what I'm saying?
That's about it.
So wrestling is big in the UK.
Yeah, it's massive.
The freestyle wrestling, amateur wrestling is not.
No, no, no, no.
We're not talking about the Saved by the Bell, A.C. Slater.
I got headphones on. We're not talking about the Saved by the Bell, AC Slater. I got headphones on.
We're not talking about that.
Obviously, big up Kurt Angle and his gold medals
and that, but we're talking about
WWE. That's the new wave. You know, Kyle's an amateur
wrestler. Oh, is it?
Well, he was an amateur wrestler. D1. Oh, is it?
Division 1. Division 1? That's the highest
level in America. Oh, is it?
I've always wanted to know, how would
an amateur wrestler fare in the UFC, blood?
It's an increasing trend to go into it.
They're hit or miss.
They're hit or miss.
Nah, because you know you're-
They can't spar.
They can't punch.
They can't throw hands, but they can grapple on the ground.
Yeah, but obviously, they wrestle in the UFC, but your chin can't lift weights.
Exactly.
That's what I'm saying.
So if you get hit once, blood, it's the end of the road, fam.
You know what I mean?
Like Boyz II Men.
You already know,
I took the word right out of my mouth.
You know what I mean?
You and I are on the same wavelength.
You're learning, fam.
You're tag team, bro.
I'm telling you, bro.
I don't know who Big E is.
No, no, no, no.
You need to put some respect on his name.
I don't know who Big E is.
Put some respect on his fucking name.
No, no, no.
You can't do that.
There's other ways to say that.
Respectfully, I don't know.
The way you said that.
I'm not a wrestling fan.
Respectfully, I don't know who Big E is.
Yeah, but he's the WWE champion.
He's the main man.
Can we pull up Big E?
You should have that as a wallpaper on your phone, Big Man.
I will now.
You're a champion.
I am a big man.
I guess you're Big E.
God damn, he is big.
Look at that. My G and a. Yeah? You patterned that biggie Look at that God damn he is big Look at that
My G you know
Yeah
You patterned that for us
God damn
My bro
He's got big titties
My word
Where does he stay
We call them titties
I don't know what you guys call them
We call them pecs
Pecs
Oh pecs
You know what I mean
Pectoral muscles and that
So if a girl walked in
We talk about her pecs
No no no
She's got jugs
Jugs
The twins
The Mary Kate and Ashley I think all of them The Greek weddings Greek weddings walked in we talked about her no no no no no no she's got jugs you know the twins the mary kate
and ashley's i think all of them make weddings we love them you in the busty petites no i i'm a
breast man fam tell you i ain't talking about kfc yeah just no well i don't know what he likes so
you do you you are in the busty petites i don't know what busty petites is before you try to draw
me out of american slam what's busty busty petites is a lifestyle yeah oh yeah so it's it's when a girl's petite
she's small about 110 but she's busty okay yeah yeah no no i'm about that so i don't really i'm
not really fan a girl that are taller than me and i'm trying to be wearing timberlands and that
wearing the same size trainers as my girl that could not happen
absolutely big feet like i don't like gal with surfboard feet that's just me in it Timberlands and that Or wearing the same Size trainers as my gal That could not happen Absolutely
Gal with big feet
Like I don't like gal
With surfboard feet
That's just me isn't it
Nah I'm on that
I'm on that
I do that too
That describes me as well
Also
It's wavy
You look at my data history
That's
They're small
Small footed women
Small footed gals
Why not
So you like
You like it here so far
I'm really enjoying myself How long are you here Well now I'm leaving next week Small-footed gals. Why not? So you like it here so far?
I'm really enjoying myself.
How long are you here?
Well, now I'm leaving next week.
I think next week, Tuesday, I'm leaving, unfortunately.
But I've been here for just under two weeks, and I'm really enjoying it.
So are you going to be back and forth a lot?
Are you going to move over here eventually?
My fear of flying is done.
You know what I mean? And if you keep getting me these WWE gigs, bro,
I'm going to be flying back and forth like a Learwood boy.
Just know, bro.
I can get them.
I'll have you at Survivor Series this Sunday.
Yeah, bro.
I'm ready, bro.
I'm ready, ready, ready.
Come on, bro.
Line it up, my G.
My God.
Line it up.
I got it.
All right.
What does this mean?
Few bevies with the bois, then a quick scran.
With the boys, with the boys, blood.
Well, bevies would be beverages.
I understood so far.
Starting on easy.
A quick scran from the chippy.
That's up north, so that's not really how I talk, but scran is food.
Okay, so a quick meal.
Quick food from the chippy.
What's that?
Chip shop.
French fries.
So, yeah, you lot call it French fries and that, but we've got something called a chip shop where we sell, like, fish and chips.
I don't eat fish blood.
You know them way there.
But, yeah, fish and chips. And then on the fish blood. You know them way there. But yeah,
fish and chips. And then on the way back to the gaffer, on the way back to the house. Home, yeah.
Your yard. Okay.
Late notice link up with the mandem.
Then going to see what Mainlink is saying.
Maybe get a cheeky tap on
the way home, but got a bell bear slags
because Mainlink probably out of
town. Bro, that is a lot of information.
You upped the difficulty. You could have at least broke it down. You know them way there. See what Mainlink probably out of town. Bro, that is a lot of information. You upped the difficulty.
You could have at least broke it down.
You know them way there.
See what Mainlink is saying.
Maybe get a cheeky tap on the way home, but got a bell bear slags.
Yeah, see what Mainlink is saying.
See what my main thing saying is.
Gal, my actual gal, not my side thing.
Not the coleslaw, not the halloumi cheese, blood.
Come on, the other gal. Not the coleslaw.
Yeah, the gal that you show your feet and that blood your wifey you
know them way there that's what it means yeah link her blood all right then still man said he got
peas so we so we gonna get minged on jank sip say that again he got peas so we gonna get minged on
jank sip he's got money so're going to get drunk on whatever drink
that is, blood. I don't know what that is,
blood. I'm hoping it's a drink.
Proper slick of disc,
no trampone, skimp it.
Yeah, now you got that. You literally
made that up, blood. You know them way there.
You made that up.
This guy's lost his mind, blood.
You need Cerebro, like Charles Xavier
and that to get it back, bro.
What about Bill Azut
while taking a scudsy?
Yeah,
I know exactly what that is,
bro.
Bill Azut is going to roll you
around this bat,
bro,
or a baseball bat
size of a spliff,
bro.
And what's the other thing?
Ah,
fuck,
what'd I just say?
I don't know.
Taking a scudsy.
See,
that's the reason why
my mouth's so dry now
and I'm licking my lips,
bro,
like LL Cool J, bro.
You know what I'm saying, bro?
Anyone got a bottle of water?
We can get you water.
Can I get a bottle of water, please?
Yeah, I'll go get him some water.
Get me some.
Man's licking my lips.
Bear, bro.
Man think that I'll get me in a room full of man.
That's not a good look, bro.
Come on.
Can I get some water, please?
He'll hurry up.
Water.
Water.
Wait, did you really want water?
Yeah, he's licking his lips.
Come on, bro.
Yeah, now definitely, bro.
Hurry up.
100% my G.
Love that.
Yeah, what was you saying?
Come on.
I'll carry the show, bro.
Big X is here, bro.
The show must go on, bro.
Let's go.
You get me?
I'm the semi-host now, bro.
I like it.
This is his show.
Yeah, let's go.
This is your yak.
Kyle, you got...
What a fucking pal of her.
Absolute nonsense fella
At least the old
Currant and bun was out
Let me read that
Because I'm thinking
You're doing up
Floyd Mayweather
You can't read
That's not what it says
That is not what it says
My bro
Love that
I think a lot of these
Are American guys
Just fucking with me
Alright how's that water hit
We are back in business
Genetically jacked Athletically stacked stacked, half man, half amazing,
modern day, max six foot of chocolate, make you wonder like Stevie.
Let's go.
Woof.
You know what I mean?
You all right?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Brandon, you're going to SummerSlam?
Survivor Series.
But yeah, we're going to Survivor Series on Sunday, yeah.
I can't wait, boy.
Are you dressing up as Santa Claus for the Christmas party?
I understand. That's what Dave said
Did he
Yeah
I understand my beard
Is coming in a little crazy
So you're gonna do it
No I'm not gonna be Santa Claus
Why wouldn't you be
Hold on
Why can't I be Santa Claus
Because you're British
Why can't I be Santa Claus
Because you're British
So what
No you're British
Nobody would believe it
I could put on an American accent
You people
In the US Think that all the UK people speak like we're from Harry Potter.
Well, do an American accent.
Oh, can I have a spot of tea, please?
Oh, yes.
Can I go down to the pub and have a beer?
That's just your voice.
Or you think we speak like this.
Oh, you're right, mate.
Oh, you want to go down in the pub?
You know what I mean?
Sink a few bevies, a few sambutas, a couple of tequilas.
You know what I mean?
You saying that we all think that is awfully Slytherin of you.
Slytherin?
How dare you?
I watched a box set before I came.
I know exactly what you're trying to do.
Gryffindor!
Gryffindor!
How dare you?
The boss of this family told you you're going to be Santa Claus.
You're Santa Claus, so shut the fuck up about it.
Oh.
So give us an American accent then.
Say British slang and an American accent.
British slang.
Oh wow. That's pretty good.
That's what it is but it depends what part of America
you know what I mean because I heard down in Texas
they talk like this. Yeah you sound like
Brandon. You know what I'm saying. Just like me.
There's different American in that.
So just like there's different UK. You know like that. That's what I'm saying but yeah man like what I'm saying? Just like me. There's different American in that. So just like there's different UK, you know, like that.
That's what I'm saying.
But yeah, man, like when I'm bumping into people, they're like, oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
You're from Lani.
You're from Lani.
Oh, my God.
The way you talk.
Oh, my God.
I love your voice.
I was like, what else do you love, baby?
You know what I'm saying?
You're telling me.
I'm a walking tripod.
I got three legs. you and i have a lot
more in common than i thought penally i said penally you know hey that is a good word but i'm
bringing that back to you thank you penally penally blood and i don't know what he means
but i know what i mean so troop said it's kind of uh feminine or even gay to eat box, to eat pussy.
To eat what, blood?
Pussy.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, to eat fish, blood.
You know them way there.
I told you, man, I don't eat fish, blood.
And you know what it is, yeah?
Obviously, I don't eat tuna.
Man don't eat any of that thing.
I don't eat fish at all now, blood.
But it's one of them ones where like, yeah, brother,
if a girl does get man to do that,
she's got to be the wifey
for years and that,
you know what I mean?
It's not something that
I'm interested in doing,
you know what I'm saying?
Like we got a,
for years?
We got a saying that,
you don't go,
you don't go where you came from,
blood,
you get me?
Man came out of a woman that way,
blood,
why is man trying to go back,
blood?
You know them way there,
fam.
Like I exit,
blood,
man's not trying to enter,
fam.
That's what it is.
But,
but, saying that, saying that, I'm not saying, oh, there'll never be a day them wait there fam like i exit like man's not trying to enter fam that's what it is but saying
that saying that i'm not saying i there'll never be a day that man don't do that but yeah she has
to be my special woman in it and yeah am i married no blood yeah you get me fam married to the streets
baby fuck probably hit you with another one oh hold on there's a yak orientation yeah we have
something if he's gonna be on the yak he has There's a yak orientation. Yeah, we have something.
If he's going to be on the yak, he has to do a certain thing.
What's that?
Yeah.
Family feud.
You got to play family feud.
Yeah?
Do you have family feud in the UK?
I don't know.
Do you understand the...
Yeah, because that's where the turkey skit came from.
I have family feuds in the UK, blood, because I've got family that are trying to stick it
on me, brother.
I don't know what he's saying.
You got to do your inbred shit.
No, no, no.
Less of that, blood.
Less of that.
Only for when I'm inbred, yeah, or my chicken sandwiches, blood, yeah? None of that, blood. But I don't know what he's saying. You got to do your inbred shit. No, no, no. Less of that, bro. Less of that. Only for when I'm inbred,
yeah, or my chicken
sandwiches, bro, yeah.
None of that, bro.
You know what I mean?
I'm not trying to hit
any of that, bro.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, pattern that up, fam.
You get me, bro.
Man don't marry our cousins
or none of that
thing over there, bro.
How are they just
astronomically better
at speaking, though?
I'm not having any
of that, bro.
It's incredible.
Bread is man mad, fam.
Less of that, bro.
God damn it.
All right, you have to
play Family Feud.
So you answer this question.
Name an article of clothing that's often made of leather. A leather jacket, bro. God damn. All right, you have to play Family Feud. So you answer this question. Name an article of clothing that's often made of leather.
A leather jacket, Blackpool.
Jacket.
Good answer.
Good answer, good answer, good answer.
That's number one.
All right.
You're off to a good start.
But you have to get five answers, not just one.
Oh, what, more?
Yeah, you've got to roll with it.
Leather shoes.
Shoes.
Leather belt.
Belt.
God damn.
Wow, this guy.
He's going in order.
Jesus.
Jesus.
You ran up against the wall.
No. You got 30 seconds.
Think of other articles of clothing.
Lever bag. Start from the head.
I'm not really clothed. Do you wear a bag?
I guess you can.
You do wear a bag. I don't know. What would a belt go on, though?
Where would you put a belt?
You motherfuckers wear mittens.
Yeah, you do.
Leather sweater?
Where do you put a belt?
Leather sweater?
Holster?
What do you mean?
I already guessed it.
I guess they lumped it in a jacket.
For God's sake, say pants.
God damn it.
Pants.
Begging for pants.
Begging for pants.
Socks.
Leather socks. That would be the worst thing maybe ever. Leather pants. Bagging for pants. Socks. Leather socks.
That would be the worst thing maybe ever.
Leather vest.
Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Oh, yes.
Yes.
That's a waistcoat.
We call it a waistcoat, blood.
No, that's a terrible name for a waistcoat.
We call it a waistcoat, blood.
That's neither waist nor coat.
Vest is a far superior word for that.
We call it a waistcoat, blood.
Yeah.
Why didn't you just go...
I would have known, blood.
I didn't know it either.
Oh, okay.
Fair enough.
Pack of blank.
Pack of cigarettes.
Cigarettes.
What do you guys call...
Okay.
No, no, no.
Let's not.
A pack of cards.
Playing cards.
Like, playing cards.
No, no.
Run that back.
A pack of sweets.
Sweets?
What's a sweet?
Candy.
Candy. Gum. Oh, is it happening now? A pack of sweets Sweets? What's a sweet? Candy Candy
Gum
What's happening now?
A pack of crisps
Chips
Potato chips
You're too British
You're too British
Potato
What do you mean?
You're way too
You're too British
I don't know
A pack of cigars
It's the same thing
Smokes, isn't it?
I thought I was going to get someone killed
Oh, let's go
Look at it
Garfield by G-Blood Help me out Oh, let's crush it No, Iit? I thought I was going to get someone killed. Oh, let's go. Oh, look at it. Garfield by G,
help me out. Oh, let's crush it.
I'm fine.
Jesus, fam.
Nah. You guys can't
be on the show contractually at the same time.
Pack of donuts?
Pack of donuts. What's up?
What do you mean? They come in packs,
Vlad. Not quite.
This is some joke, man, Ting, Vlad.
Nah, nah.
Less of this, bruv.
You don't like this?
You did good the first time.
I didn't get any more, bruv.
Lies.
What the fuck is a pack of lies?
Nah, that's some joke, Ting, Vlad.
This ain't got nothing to do with family.
You man are trying to embarrass me, bruv. You got absolutely shit.
I'm not trying to embarrass you.
You're getting beat by a woman.
Who's Charlie, Vlad?
Charlie?
Why is she smiling as well, Vlad?
Change that face, Vlad.
I don't want to see that, Vlad.
I'm going to beat her next round.
You can make it up.
If you don't, I'm going to beat her next round.
Triple money right here.
Triple points.
Yeah?
Say no more.
Let's go, Vlad.
Oh, you're into it now, huh?
Yeah, I'm into it, bro.
I'm into it.
All right.
Let's go with...
Give me a word that rhymes with drunk.
Punk. Punk.
Punk.
Ooh, good one.
It certainly does rhyme.
Sunk.
Sunk.
Sunk.
That's not a nice one.
Sunk.
Dunk.
Dunk, yes, dunk.
Funk.
Funk.
There you go.
Monk.
Monk.
She's winning. Monk. She's winning.
Monk?
What do you mean?
You suck at this.
You suck at this.
Expressions, you're bad, dude.
This is terrible.
I like your shoes, though.
Good shoes.
Let me see those shoes.
Be quiet.
Let me see them.
Bunk.
Oh, God.
Thank you.
Bunk?
Hunk.
Hunk. Junk. What do you mean? Junk. Oh, God. Thank you. Bunk? Hunk. Hunk.
Junk.
What do you mean?
Junk.
Yeah, junk.
My junk.
My junk.
My junk.
My junk.
My junk.
Junk, blood.
It's over.
What do you mean, junk, blood?
Junk.
I've got five seconds, blood.
What's going on, blood?
I've got three strikes.
I've got five seconds.
I said junk.
Junk.
Junk.
Junk.
Junk.
What's the matter with you?
It's America.
You get three strikes.
You get three strikes.
You already used them. Oh, whatever, blood. This is jump, jump. What's the matter with you? It's America. You get three strikes. You get three strikes. You already used them.
Oh, whatever, Vlad.
This is fake, fam.
You lot didn't tell me that, Vlad.
No, this is as real as it gets.
No, it's not.
This is how we determine.
You see Charlie?
Yeah.
She's in the next room.
You have to eat her pussy now.
Yep.
Vlad, Vlad, Vlad.
You have to eat her pussy.
I had breakfast already, Vlad.
You know what I mean?
I've got nothing left.
He's a Bushman of the Kalahari.
You don't eat pussy?
Fam,
I don't go where I came from,
that's what I said.
So you're like Troops.
You guys are toxic masculinity.
He's whistling through the wheat field.
No,
it's not toxic masculinity,
fam.
All you got to do is just
watch one video.
It's having less things
to scrape off my tongue.
Like Stephen Che,
Stephen Che watched one video
about how to eat pussy,
now he's a pussy god.
Oh, swear that.
Are you one too, big cat, bro?
Do you use your tongue more than your third leg, bro?
That's the question I got for you, fam.
Is that what it is?
Are you one of them tongue tornado guys, bro?
Tongue tornado?
Yeah.
He is.
Why are you guys wearing?
Why are you wearing?
We got to do this thing for Frankie.
We were told to wear this stuff for the drone.
Oh, that's why they gave me that hoodie, blud.
I didn't even put it on, fam.
My bad.
Oh, wow.
You're just not going to put it on?
No, I tried it on, but I took it back off because it didn't match my tracksuit bottoms.
I was thinking, where's the bottoms, blud?
You know what I mean?
Yeah, you got to put it on just for the thing.
Yeah, let's go.
I'm ready, fam.
You want this one?
No, I got one at my desk.
My rented desk.
Can I have this one?
So wait, how long are you here for?
Till next week.
Are you coming Survivor Series? What is that? What do you mean, what's that, blud? desk can i have this one uh so wait how long are you here for till next week you're coming are you
coming survivor series uh what is that what do you mean what's oh i saw you at wrestlemania i saw
you at wrestlemania i do like wrestling is is is survivor series here it's in barclays oh really
sunday yeah sunday's for football you know that what college football no pro football no what
nfl blood so here's the best part about expressions right now he still thinks actually Pro football? No. Pro football. Oh, soccer. No. What? NFL blood.
So here's the best part about expressions right now.
He still thinks – actually, no, your team's not playing on Saturday, right?
Sunday.
Troops thinks that we're going to do a soccer stream.
Now, I know.
In Hoboken on a college football Saturday, with six televisions,
and not one of those televisions is going to be on college football.
That's what he thinks.
No, he said one, blood.
He said he's going to allow you to have one television. No, no, no.
We're going to get five, and you guys get one.
What do you mean five?
You don't need five.
You don't need five.
We have hundreds of games going on.
I think you're loonies about five on it, blood.
We need more than that, blood.
I might give you two.
Give him three.
The three-fifths compromise.
The disrespect is real out here, isn't it?
No, it's not.
It's a Cosmo Ball Saturday.
We only get 12 of them in a year.
College football, blood.
You guys play soccer all year long.
So what?
So what?
What is it?
Match day 14?
You're not going to watch it on your phone?
That's a disrespect, fam.
You might come watch that on your phones but on your
laptops on your ipads you know i mean i got one for you on your surfboards what about what is
smanging bits and bobs till i've had enough of you
chinwag what's a chinwag I'm a made guy on this show.
I'm tenured.
What's chin wag?
What's chin wag?
Tell me.
I've never heard a chin wag in my life, fam.
A chin wag?
You know them way?
If you want to hear a thing.
Couple of shandies with me better half, a lovely Ruby Walsh, and hopefully she lets me get my leg over.
That's all dead, blud.
Let me teach you words that you should want to be knowing.
What we call, we call that down there for the woman.
We call that a punani, blud. You get me? The Chronicles of Punania, blud. That knowing what we call we call that down there for the woman we call that a punani blood you get me the chronicles of punania blood that's
what we call that fam you know them way chronicles of punania doesn't sound like narnia at all yeah
you man think that we're gonna be c.s lewis narnia's cold place c.s lewis with lion witch
in the wardrobe don't even get me started don't even get us started. Don't even get me started on that. Don't even get us started on that, bro. You get me?
We call the bum, we call it the bunda.
You know them way there?
The bunda?
Yeah, the bunda.
She's got a bunda.
She's got a back.
You know them way there?
And the better it is, the louder you say it?
Yeah, obviously, if a girl hasn't got no bum,
we say she's got no back like a kitchen apron,
you know what I mean?
No kitchen apron's got no back, fam.
You get me?
That's what we say, black bro.
You're just making so much sense. Yeah, I know, man. I'm here to no back, fam. You get me? That's what we say, Black Bo. You're just making so much sense.
Yeah, I know, man.
I'm here to educate you, man.
Big X in the building.
No like that.
Oh, my.
You ever slow down a little?
No, I don't have to, Black.
You know what I'm saying?
I'll just go out.
Like I said, I'll go out.
Get me right after this.
I'll go out.
Another round is back.
And if you don't call me to be on another show, I'm active, B.
Told you, I'm active. Be told you.
I'm half man, half amazing, bro.
You get energy, energy, energy.
That's Vince Carter.
I mean, you can't take that from Vince Carter.
Now, you know, he took that from me, but I don't care.
Is that true?
He did.
He's Vince Carter.
I know Vince McMahon fan.
That's who I know.
So you're a big wrestling fan, too.
Yep.
Hundred percent. Who's your favorite wrestler of all time?
All time.
Yeah.
Probably going to have to be Shawn Michaels,
bruh. Oh, that's a good answer.
Brett screwed Brett, to be fair.
You know what I mean?
Brett screwed Brett, innit?
I'll say that on wax, bruh.
Big up Shawn Michaels, the art break kid and that.
Shout out Jose Leferio as well, bruh.
That's a deep cut right there.
You know them way there, fam. That's a very deep
cut. We can get you in a room with Shawn Michaels.
Bruh, listen. Look at you, fam. That's a very deep cut. We can get you in a room with Shawn Michaels. Listen.
Look at you, Brandon.
Brandon's my guy, you know.
I got him.
He interviewed Big E today.
Prof, look at that.
I hooked that up for him.
Just hooked that up just like that.
It was light work for Brandon.
You know them way there.
Yeah, light work for him.
He's a rainmaker, yeah.
Man going in, fam.
Brandon likes the new thing on the block.
So as soon as you're tired and he'll spit you out.
No, no, no. My ting won't ever fizzle out
No, he's not going to fizzle out
They said the same thing about Walk the Line
I didn't see that
They said the same thing about Morning Sunshine
No, no, no, them DVDs I didn't rent, fam
They were good shows
They were not bad shows
Morning Sunshine was good
The best shows end
The worst shows keep going.
That's true.
What,
so what's the deal with this drone?
It's going to kill someone?
I find a drone in here in one minute,
I guess.
And are we going to get,
We're not allowed to look at it,
but then they want us to throw paper airplanes at it.
Should probably open the door,
yes.
Can I look directly at it?
Are we going to,
Let's ruin it.
Get put in places?
I think they're just saying,
continue the yak as normal
but throw paper airplanes at the strong. But I'm not supposed to be
in the yak. I'm supposed to be in the home.
I was supposed to be in the seat out there wearing
a hoodie that's on my desk. No, you
can stay here. You stay here. Say no more.
Because this is going to be immortalized.
Yeah. What does it mean if someone
Where's the yak though? It's called the yak.
Where's the yak fam? Where's the Kovac?
We're yakking right now. Is, is that what you call yakking?
You want cognac.
That's what you want?
Is that what you like?
You want cocaine.
Which one do you want?
Yeah, she's about talking.
I don't want that Johnson's Johnson's, that baby powder.
I'm not on any of that, blud.
Yeah?
None of that, fam.
Nothing don't go up my nose, blud.
Really?
Nothing?
Nothing ever goes up your nose.
Unless I'm shaving, blud.
You boof it?
You boof it?
You like to boof your coke?
You put it up your butt?
You boof it? Fam, the only coke that man has boof your coke? Huh? You put it up your butt? You boof it?
Fam, the only coke that man has is Chase and Michael Vossier,
blood, yeah?
With ice, yeah?
You know them way there.
Santa coke, blood, yeah?
The one that he's going to be handing out when he dresses up
for Santa for the Christmas party, blood.
That's what he wants.
Brandon's going to be Santa for the Christmas party.
Dave's making him.
I love it.
I don't think.
I said Brandon closing that.
You're going in.
Yeah, no, Dave's making you.
Thank you.
I don't want to be. Why not? I'm not fat enough. I don't think... I said brand new clothes. Yeah, no, Dave's making you. Thank you. I don't want to be...
I'm not fat enough.
I don't...
Oh, honey.
Sweetie.
Sweetie pie.
Oh, sweetie pie.
Also, Santa has to be...
I'm not jolly.
I'm not a fat guy.
Oh, no, you're the rudest in the office.
Yes, thank you.
Yeah, you're bad, Santa.
Ever heard of it?
Do you think I'm the rudest guy in the office?
You're Santa Claus.
Nah, boy, you're the best ever.
So shut the fuck up about it.
You're fat as fuck.
The boss of this family told me...
I'm telling you, bro. The boss of this family told you you're going to be Santa Claus. Yeah. You're Santa Claus So shut the fuck up about it The boss of this family Told me The boss of this family
Told you you're gonna be
Santa Claus
Yeah
You're Santa Claus
Silvio
Christopher
Where's this coming from
He's in Sopranos
I just watched that episode
KB went from 9-11
To Sopranos
I wonder what's next
Does it go tragedy
I'm just saying
Tragedy
Premium candle
Candle show
Tragedy
When they made
Bobby Bacalabi
I don't wanna be Santa I don't wannaacalabi. Yeah. I don't want to be Santa.
I don't want to.
I'm shy.
I'm shy.
I don't like it.
So if you're not Santa, who else is going to?
What's the other options?
It can't just be you.
We can hire a Santa from outside the company.
We can bring in a Santa.
We bring in clowns all the time.
We bring in people.
You can't bring in a Santa.
You're not going to sit on a stranger's lap.
Why not?
Oh, what?
Are you looking forward to sitting on Santa's lap yet?
Oh, yeah.
Maybe.
Say no more, Vlad.
I hear that. Pause. Oh, yeah. Less. Say no more, Vlad. I hear that.
All right.
Pause.
Oh, yeah.
Less of that.
Oh, yeah.
Less of that.
Pause.
Let me get in Men in Black where they got that.
What's that?
That neuralyzer, yeah?
I was never here, Vlad.
Pause.
This is a straight-ass program.
Where am I, Vlad?
All right, Brad.
This show is straight.
This show is the straightest show in America.
This is the straightest show at Barstool.
Yeah, that's a fact.
We're talking.
Or maybe it's just you.
It's hard to get a word off.
I got one for you, though.
What does it mean if someone get pawed on a pang sort?
I've been wondering this one.
Bro, I keep telling you I need to be reading what you're saying
because I don't know what that is, man.
Show me your phone, niggas. What's a you're saying because I don't know what that is, man. Show me your phone, innit?
What's a pang sort?
I don't know.
What is that?
Are you sure you're not on, like, some Zimbabwean thing, man?
You getting me?
Should you get Zaha here or something?
He does do a lot of Zimbabwe research accidentally.
Like, what's going on, fam?
How often you accidentally look up Zimbabwe things?
Yeah.
He's on the wrong thing, bruv.
What do you want?
You're on the wrong thing.
No, this is the British slang hall of fame.
Zimbabwe slang.
Is that what you're on, blood?
You get me?
Z square and that.
Let's do some Zimbabwe slang.
I don't know any, blood.
All right.
Well.
Is that it?
You ain't got no more slang for me?
I got a lot.
Now, you ain't got a lot because every time I give you one, you shut me down.
Every time you give me one, it doesn't make any sense.
You know what I mean?
That's what it is, fam.
I don't know what's going on with that.
When's that drone coming?
I know.
It should be coming.
Where's Devlin?
You got to shove him.
Should we open the door?
Maybe.
Are they making you shove him?
Yeah.
Well, no.
They're having him shove me.
That's funny.
Maza.
Remember the time he did that?
These men just got a drone flying around the office like it's just normal.
What are we in Transformers, fam?
We're in Transformers, yeah.
Yeah?
We're in Transformers.
Mad ting.
Mad ting.
There's Devlin, so I guess I got to go push him.
Or he has to push me.
Mazzolino, there's one for you.
Yeah, he's getting ready to be shot.
What?
Mazzolino.
What the fuck is that?
When something, you can't believe it.
Is it coming in this room?
Yeah.
Mazzolino.
Mazzos.
I got to go out.
What if you got absolutely cream crackered?
Yeah, absolutely.
See, that makes it.
Absolutely cream crackered is wasted.
Just drunk.
Wasted, yeah.
Absolutely wasted.
You booze?
Do you booze?
Do I drink?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here and there.
Here and there.
You know what I mean?
But I'm not at home, bruv.
Keep it open, man.
Keep it open.
Yeah, we got to keep that open.
You booze, coke, you drink.
No, I don't.
And you root for Liverpool. And you tell lies, bruv, yeah? All right, Garfield, I've had enough of you, bruv. You boof coke, you drink, and you root for Liverpool.
And you tell lies, Blatt, yeah?
All right, Garfield, I've had enough of you, Blatt.
You're just trying to troll me, bro.
Getting my dosh ludicrously gingered with some gellers.
Might be truffed off the boot, too.
All right.
Frank, are you directing this whole thing?
You failed the mission.
Frank, you don't know any of this shit.
You're not from england
he's literally in his notes writing things black that is not off the internet black yeah
that's off the interstate black that's where that's on what if we kick the drone out
what if i kick it well i mean the whole thing over again what is it kind of funny it would
be funny and i'm all for it.
I'm not even going to think about doing that.
You're batting like 180 on this.
All right, Travis Matthew, have we done that ad?
No, no.
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The Dream Collection, the Cloud Collection, sorry, the Cloud Collection is incredible.
The Cloud Collection is a dream.
That's what I meant to say.
It's the greatest ever.
You see me wearing it every single Sunday.
You'd like it, X.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You got jumpers? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got jumpers?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Jumpers, bro.
Jumpers.
Well, you're going to pat me up with one, yeah?
Yeah, I got you.
Say no more.
Whatever you want.
Like Travis Matthews, yeah?
Whatever you want.
You're the softest in the world.
Oh, yeah.
Softest.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I need something, bro.
Give me something.
What, um...
Wait, you were for Tottenham, right?
I feel like a woman's thighs on your cheeks.
What's it like never winning a trophy?
Well, you know what I mean?
I'm not going to lie.
We have won a trophy.
Your best players.
The Caribou Cup?
Yes, man.
You know, bro.
What the fuck is that?
It's fake as fuck.
No, no, no.
Less of that, bro.
You a Harry Kane fan?
Harry Kane spits when he talks.
No, but that's like the Super Bowl.
How about a big old pause on that?
The Caribou Cup is like the Super Bowl, bro.
No, it's not.
It is, bro.
You don't know.
You know you don't.
You don't know, bro. I know more than you think. The Caribou Cup is like the Super Bowl. It Bowl, Vlad. No, it's not. It is, Vlad. You don't know. You don't know, Vlad.
I know more than you think.
The Carabao Cup is like the Super Bowl, Vlad.
It's so fake.
No, it's not.
Put some respect on the Carabao Cup, Vlad.
It's so fake.
Trust me, yeah.
You don't win trophies.
We may not win cups, Vlad.
It's fine, fam.
It's fine, Vlad.
We may not win cups, but yeah.
Your best player ever wants to leave.
No, he doesn't, Vlad.
He scored nine goals, Vlad. So you admit to Harry Kane's best player ever. That's sad No, he doesn't, Vlad. He scored nine goals, Vlad.
So you admit to Harry King he's your best player ever.
That's sad.
What?
How is that sad?
He's a tapping king.
How is that sad?
He's like one of the best English players in a lifetime.
What are you talking about?
He's bigger than Pete Rose, fam.
What are you talking about?
He's bigger than Pete Rose.
We've got to get you up to date on your American.
Who else did these men like, Vlad?
Who else, man?
Pete Rose?
Carmelo Anthony. Who else, Vlad? Who else, Vlad? Give me Who else? Carmelo Anthony.
Who else?
Give me some other American guys.
You give us.
I'm trying, fam.
Who else?
I know you're trying.
You went Pete Rose to Carmelo Anthony.
Wayne Gretzky.
Who else?
Ben Shapiro.
Ben Shapiro.
Hugh Hefner.
Roseanne Barr.
Roseanne Barr.
Charlie Kirk. You might Barr. Roseanne Barr.
Charlie Kirk.
You guys are trying to set me up.
I know you're not funny.
I'm not listening to you, man.
Don't listen to him.
Less of that, bro.
I'm not listening to you, man.
You're not patting up, bro.
Put some respect on Harry Klaas.
Say you know the rest of them.
It's my man.
It's my man.
I'm not going to sit here and let you talk about Harry Kane like that.
You're my man.
I'm going to talk about him whenever I want.
What's you man's favorite sport, Vlad? Football.
Football. Yeah, what's your favorite team, Big Cat?
Bears. Who plays for them, Vlad?
Yes, you don't know. Baloo from Jungle Book,
Vlad. Yes. Catching his back on the tree and that,
oh, the Bears.
Oh, Bear
Necessities.
Bear Necessities. Less of the Bears,
Vlad. He's man mad. Smoking Bunch, fam.
Fucking relax, dude.
I am relaxed. I am relaxed. I'm over stimulated
you don't want to get him over stimulated
his nipples get very hard
what do you want us to do
fucking relax
I don't think people realize how crazy this drone thing is
we're doing like the cowboy shoot
we know that drone shot
I'm going to throw a ball paper
for people at home if you look up
bowling alley drone. Oh, that's this guy?
From Minneapolis? I don't know.
I think that's where it was. Are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready.
Google bowling alley drone. It's awesome.
We need like a baseball. So they said
don't look at it yet. But no, I don't know.
I think we have to.
I feel like this is
the only people that are allowed to look at it.
Because we're doing something for it.
Boy. I feel like this is the only people that are allowed to look at it. Okay. Because we're doing something for it. All right.
Boy.
Oh, and then we got Chicken Fry making a TikTok in the background.
We've got Frankie doing the Daily 9.
This is just what a day in the life looks like.
A day at the ship.
Just another day at the pirate ship.
Oh, I hear it. Oh, here it is here it is here it comes here it comes here it comes
wait no no you gotta talk don't don't be cocked ready to go yeah yeah we're just
gonna talk we have to keep talking we have to keep
talking yes yeah i mean it's supposed to be an
airplane yeah but don't don't get ready get you gotta act natural
i am acting that's one, you went like this.
Yeah, yeah, you were cocked.
You were cocked and ready.
You were cocked.
Act natural.
Oh, the push just came.
All right, act natural.
Here it comes.
Here it comes.
Here it comes.
We're talking.
I don't know.
I guess he just passed us up.
Oh, I guess he's not coming in here.
That sucks.
Okay.
We got disrespected.
We got disrespected.
We got mad disrespected.
You know what I mean?
It just flew right by at night.
All right, here we go.
Are we looking at the drone or not?
We're not looking at the drone, right?
I don't think so.
We're just throwing something at it when it goes out?
No, we're looking at the drone when it comes in.
I think we're going to scare it away by throwing the paper airplanes at it.
I think ideally, like, it didn't come in.
It didn't come in here.
Motherfucker.
It didn't come in here.
I don't see any women in here.
I can't believe this, blood.
We got disrespected.
Look, I've been holding this.
I was waiting for this.
Is your fingers tired?
Are you okay?
Big cat, send an email, blood.
All right, I'll send it.
Send an email, blood.
You ever been to...
They never...
We were waiting here for the drone to come in, blood.
Look how you're dressed up for the drone.
Mad disrespect.
Sometimes I feel like this company doesn't even think the yak exists.
You would think that, yeah.
It is unbelievable.
It's kind of bizarre.
Sometimes some of the people on the Yak don't even think it exists.
You'd think that too.
Ronan and Sass are just on a VK.
Oh, fuck.
We've got to pull up the Sass video.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yeah.
Him singing.
He looks great.
Will we get DMCA'd?
It's karaoke version.
Oh, I know what that is.
For karaoke?
You know what DMCA is?
It just skipped us?
So we got screwed.
They don't care about the yak here.
It was supposed to go from me and Devlin to you guys and then to Brianna,
but it went straight to Brianna.
That's not her name.
Brianna.
What is it?
Brianna?
Brianna. Expressions. You ever been to Cockney? To's not her name. Brianna. What is it? Brianna? Brianna.
Expressions. You ever been to Cockney?
To Cockney? Yeah.
Where is that, blood?
Cockney. Isn't that a place?
It's an accent.
Cockney. Cockney. Do you hate Irish people? No, no, no. I love
Ireland, blood. What?
I love Ireland. Ireland.
Ireland and Ireland IS land.
Do you like Scottish people?
Yeah. I like all people, man.
You're trying to draw me out of that.
What island in the Caribbean?
Where am I from? Yeah.
I'm half Jamaican and half from
Karakoo, which is the island of Grenada. You lot won't
know where that is. I know St. Kitts
and Nevis. Oh, you know where St. Kitts is, yeah?
Okay. Yeah, ain't far.
Ain't far, but it's closer to St. Vincent's.
Got it.
Karakoo.
But yeah, that's where I'm from still.
But yeah, no, I like Irish people.
I like Scottish people.
Two very different-
Who are the people you don't like?
Yeah.
Give us a nationality or religion of people you do not like.
There isn't a nationality or religion that I do not like.
Well, that's not true.
You don't like the Dutch. What do you mean? No, that's not true. You don't like the Dutch.
You don't like the Dutch.
I can see it.
No, I love the Dutch.
When was the last time you wore clogs?
Coffee shops all the time, blud.
When was the last time you wore clogs?
I live in coffee shops, blud.
Amsterdam is the country that I've been to the most in my passport.
Are you mad?
Why?
So you can fight them?
I've been there 10 times, blud.
No, it's not, blud.
Hate crimes?
So I can make friends, fam.
It's easier to do hate crimes.
These men are trying to draw me out, blud.
These men are trying to draw me out. Lud. These men are trying to draw me out.
Lesser that, blud.
Get me.
Russians?
America, blud.
How about that?
You like Russians?
Huh?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You don't fuck with Russians.
Russians don't fuck with me, blud.
Yeah?
Why?
What do you mean, why, fam?
You get me?
I'm after apes, fam.
I'm darker than Wesley Snipes.
You should know why.
You know them way there about why.
You know them way there, blud.
Get me.
Did you go to the World Cup in Russia? No, for that very reason, blud. Troops went. You know them way there, blud. You get me? Did you go to the World Cup in Russia?
No, for that very reason, blud.
Troops win. Yeah, troops can go, blud, because troops
ain't, you get me, troops is a
couple shades lighter than me, fam. It's a difference between
Terrence Howard and Wesley Snipes, blud.
That's what I'm trying to tell you. Wesley Snipes and me,
we're black wherever we go, blud. You get me?
Troops can pass for
different ethnicities
when he goes abroad and that, but me, wherever I go, I'm black, black.
You know what I mean?
So Russia is a no-fly zone.
Well, I'm not saying that everywhere is like that in Russia.
But for me, like the stories that I have, my sister went there and had her cab spat at.
You know what I mean?
Can't believe it.
What?
Yeah, you know what I mean?
It was outrageous.
Shit.
So are you going to move here?
Are you going to move here?
America?
Yeah.
I'm not going to lie.
Eventually, this is where it's at.
I tweeted it out.
It's pretty fun.
This is where it's at.
You went to a Knicks game, didn't you?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, this is where it's at.
And I'm not even going to lie.
I want to see so much more of America as well.
But no, this is where it's at, bro.
That is the problem with England.
You guys have sports once a week.
No, we do have sports.
No, we've got sports more than once a week.
But the one that we care about is once a week. Once a week, that's it, though. Yeah, yeah. There's sports every day in America. Yeah, nah, we've got sports more than once a week, but the one we care about
is once a week.
Once a week, that's it though.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's sports every day
in America.
Yeah, nah, no,
and there's a lot
of different ones as well.
I heard that your favorite
sport's lacrosse, blood.
No, I do not like lacrosse.
I own a team,
but I hate them.
Oh, is it?
This guy owns
every thin black.
You know what I mean?
I know.
I hate them.
I hate them.
I hate lacrosse.
It's the dumbest sport ever.
Every time I watch it, I'm like, what am I doing watching this?
Seriously.
You bought the team to sabotage the sport from within.
Yeah, to hopefully submarine them, but it's not working.
They actually played well this year.
Yeah, you were pissed.
You were very upset.
Very upset.
Oh, terrible.
Why are you upset that your team's winning?
Because I don't like them.
Why did you buy them?
Well, I didn't buy them.
I was gifted. I don't like them why did you buy them well i didn't buy them i was gifted so i i
don't have i don't own actually anything i own a like a crumb less than a crow this guy's out here
getting gifted uh lacrosse teams football teams and that blood and i can't even get a trophy but
it's been 13 years big cat no you got the caribou cut in yeah 13 years oh It's been 13 years, big cat. No, you got the caribou cut. Yeah, 13 years.
13 years.
I'm telling you, I ain't got a criminal record, bro.
I feel like I've been in jail, bro. 13 years.
You got to find a new sport.
I did, bro. And then people are telling me the Knicks won't win something.
No, you shouldn't be a Knicks fan.
Yeah, I bought a hat, fam. It cost me 30 bucks.
$30.
You know what I mean, fam?
KB, why don't go Torso reveal for the drone
For the drone
If it comes in here
Which I don't think it will
I think they're going
Again
If you tell it
If you tell it
What you're planning on doing
I think it will come in
Fuck all muck
Are kicking back tonight
Is it coming back in here or no
We need to get you
An NFL team
An NFL team
Yeah
And I think it needs to be
Troops took the Ravens, and I think you
need a team that's a rival to the Ravens.
Who's a rival to the Ravens?
The Steelers?
Are they better than the Ravens?
Historically, yes.
Historically, but what's going on right now?
You're talking about a fucking caribou cup from 13 years ago.
Hey, big cat, put some respect on that cup.
Put some respect on that cup.
I told you, that is the Super Bowl of the UK.
I hate to do this.
I love you.
Pittsburgh Steelers.
Pittsburgh is the Swansea of America.
Can you put some respect on the cup?
All right, I'm going to put some respect on the cup.
Yeah?
All right.
Thank you, my G.
Officially.
That's me being a bigger man.
I'm going to put some respect on the cup.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Not a bigger man than me, but a bigger man in general.
Well, technically, I am a bigger man than you.
I'm Big X, man. I'm taller than you, Big Cat. No, you're not. I am. Well, technically I am a bigger man than you. I'm big X, man.
I'm taller than you, big K.
No, you're not.
I am.
No, you aren't.
How tall are you?
Hide off.
I'm 6'5", man.
You're not 6'5".
I am, bro.
Stand up.
No, you stand up.
No, you stand up.
We do that at the same time, man.
You stand up.
You stand up.
This is...
Sheesh.
I got you to stand up.
I got you to stand up. I can get you to do whatever I want. Are you petite? I knew you was stand up I got you to stand up
I can get you to do whatever I want
Are you petite?
I knew you was gonna do that
Are you shorty?
Nah I'm not 6'2
I'm 6'2 and a half
Womp womp
You can check the wiki
I'm wearing my MJ's
I'll be taller than you
You don't wanna do the reveal on camera
Because you know I'm taller
You know what I mean?
What are you doing?
You have to call me Big X
I love those shoes
Those are great fucking shoes You like these yeah? They're in all my patterns fam I'm taller. You know what I mean? What are you doing? They have to call me Big X. I love those shoes. Those are great fucking shoes.
You like these, yeah?
Great shoes.
They're my patents, fam.
I'm not going to lie.
I ain't seen them on the shelf here,
but yeah, UK,
you lot's trainers are mad.
I walked into a shop.
You guys can't wear nice shoes out in the UK.
You got them scuffed up in like a weather spoon.
Nah, nah, bro.
You got them dripping.
Weather spoons.
You know about weather spoons?
You guys got one in every fucking town.
This is the era. You're my G now, fam. Get me fam. That's been the case. you know about Weatherspoon you guys got one in every fucking town this is what I like this is
yeah
you're my G now
get me fam
now keep this mic on
this is
he's the yak
he's the number
yeah my bro
you know
but yeah
nah
Weatherspoon's
is
where are Weatherspoon's
Weatherspoon's
is just like that
it's like a pub
like little cheap thing
that you just see
you go there
if you just wanna pull
you just wanna go there
get a new cup
that's what it is
people just sit there
drink there and it's just an absolute mazzolino you go there, get a gal and a new car. Make a day out of it. That's what it is, fam. People just sit there, drink there,
and it's just an absolute mazzolino, innit?
You know what I mean?
A mazzolino.
Nah, big man ting.
You just go there to draw a gal.
You don't go to Weatherspoon to have a nice time.
You go there, like, you get me?
We call it Scrap City, innit?
You know what I mean?
So you know, like, the end of your night.
You're not finding a busty petite.
End of your night.
If you ain't got something to go back home,
oh, yeah, Weatherspoon.
You know what I mean?
You just see Bear Gal out there.
You know what I mean?
Draw a ting.
Go there with your art degree.
Draw a gal. You know what I'm saying? And then go home,etherspoons, you know what I mean? You just see Bear Gyal out there, you know what I mean? Draw a thing, go there with your art degree, draw a gyal,
you know what I'm saying?
And then go home,
blad.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
You have Neil Buchanan
in that fam,
Art Attack,
but I'm drawing gyal.
You know what I mean?
I ain't drawing photos,
but I'm drawing gyal
when I go out.
I got my Chicktionary
with me everywhere I go,
blad.
Everywhere I go.
You know,
like that.
We're on the same wavelength.
Yeah,
I love that,
my bro.
I'm telling you.
Yeah, Big Man Ting. Big Man Ting. Yak Erasure that we're on the same wavelength yeah i love that my bro i'm telling you big man ting yak erasure happening right before our eyes big up this show yak blood you know them way there fam love love being on here fam next time
i come on you're natural yakking as well all right what about this one all this one uh i come on
bros done chefed up some man for a lickle John. Love that.
So, all right, come on, bro.
Chefed up means stab man up, innit? Oh, this is...
Poke man up, blood.
Jesus.
For a lickle John?
A lickle John, I'm assuming, yeah.
A lickle John is like, he's robbed him for something, innit?
But it could be a variety of things, blood.
Do you know what I mean?
It could be money.
It could be drugs.
You know what I mean?
But I'm going to chef him up, blood.
What is it called?
A lickle John?
Yeah, okay.
And then he said, Barbie was loving my piece.
Obviously, it's just a Lock Arf ting.
Yeah.
So, the Caucasian female.
Yeah.
Oh, it's a Barbie?
Because you say black people, I don't want to say white.
I'll say the Caucasian female, yeah, was loving off my ting, my Johnny, my Lexington Steel fam, my pipe, my Wesley Pipes,
you know them way there? She was loving it off,
blud, but obviously, we don't
take her seriously, innit? I too have a Lexington
Steel. Yeah, I love that about you.
That's how you have to get on the show. I'm telling you,
man, blud, I'm telling you, fam, literally,
bro. Can I see it? No, no, no, no.
Show us your penis. Big cat, big cat. Show us Lex.
No, no, no. Listen, big cat.
Pause. How old are you?
36.
Wow.
I don't know why I paused.
Yeah?
I can't show it to you, bud.
36. You got a younger sister?
No.
If he was younger, you'd show it?
No, sister.
That's fucked, dude.
I have a six-month-old daughter.
Less of that, blood.
Less of that.
Less of that, blood.
Uncle X.
She called me Uncle X, blood. I love you, your daughter. Big her up, man. Less of that, less of that, blood. Uncle X, she called me Uncle X,
blood.
I love you,
your daughter.
Big her up,
man.
I mean,
love that.
My brain,
the fact that I paused
to say that I was 36.
How long have you been
36 for?
Almost a year.
Yeah.
Yeah,
almost a full year.
Fuck.
It's not good.
It's not good
right upstairs right now.
What do you mean,
blood?
You're in your
legendary years,
fam.
I am legend like
Will Smith,
blood. No, I'm just tired. How old are you? Me, 31.'re in your legendary years, fam. I am legend like Will Smith, Vlad.
No, I'm just tired.
How old are you?
Me, 31.
Okay.
I would have guessed younger.
Yeah, I know, Vlad.
That's what I'm saying.
Because black don't crack.
I beat you to it.
I beat you to it.
I beat you to it.
Yeah, no, I get credit for that.
But are you on crack, though, Vlad?
No.
I'm just saying you beat me to that, Vlad, because I'm not on that either, Vlad.
Yeah, you're on coke.
No, I'm not, Vlad.
I keep telling you that.
You're on your butt. Those are chasers, yeah? That's what it is, fam. Chas you're on coke. No, I'm not, blah. I keep telling you that.
Those are chasers, yeah?
That's what it is, fam.
Chasers for the drink.
That's the only coke that man's got.
Red can business.
Oh, you're talking about Coca-Cola.
Yeah, cola.
Cola.
What's going on? What are you, man, like over here?
You guys like root beer over here, isn't it?
You like root beer?
I fucking hate root beer.
What are you doing?
He's mad overrated.
No?
He's going to fly this way, come around.
You guys are tossing airplanes at each other.
Don't look at each other.
Oh, don't.
You're giggling.
You want to at each other.
That's not how the show goes. Oh, you don't remember that now, yeah?
Before they did that, before it was a don't care about us like Michael Jackson affair.
Can I hit the drone with it?
Can I go through it?
I mean, what's going on with that?
He was about to.
Yeah.
We were going to show our penises.
Small.
All together?
You ever seen one like those rats get their tails tied?
You, man, are trying to make me smash the glass, fam.
If I whip out the anaconda with that out here, you get me?
You, man, ain't going to be able to perform for your missuses again if you see my thing,
so I'm not taking it out.
Yeah, that's what it's going to be.
You lot are going to be very disappointed.
Are you ad-libbing right now?
Yeah.
Did you just ad-lib your own conversation?
Ad-lib, man. I was saying, oh, my God, what is he doing? Oh, my God. Should I do-libbing right now? Yeah. Huh? Did you just ad-lib your own conversation? Ad-lib, man.
I was saying,
oh, Michael,
what is he doing?
Oh, my God.
Should I do this
when they fly by?
Yeah, you should.
We should all do this.
We should all do it?
Yeah.
Frankie doesn't tell us
what to do.
Look how long my finger is.
I might as well use this one.
That's your Lex using steel, huh?
We'll use that finger, blood.
It's going to be such a good goof.
We'll use that finger, blood.
Yeah, look at this.
We'll use that finger, blood.
Yeah, you got to do it too, KB.
We'll use that finger, blood. Because people will be like. We'll use that finger, blood. Yeah, you got to do it too, KB. We'll use that finger, blood.
Because people will be like, whoa, what?
I think they had their dicks out.
You got to keep moving it.
That makes it look real.
It's like a worm on the outside.
They'll know I never had mine out, blood.
You know what I mean?
They squirm around.
Yeah, they squirm in the room.
When the elephant trunk comes out, blood, it's big business.
You know them way there, fam.
Big business. Look at the way man's looking, blood. Is that like an optical illusion? Because I don't see any sign of business. You know them way there, fam. Big business.
Look at the way man's looking, blood.
Is that like an optical illusion?
It's not optical.
You shouldn't see that, blood.
You know them way there.
Because when man look at it, it goes into a shell like a snail, blood.
How often are men looking at it?
Right now, blood.
Yeah, I'm trying to.
You're trying to watch over him like the Lord Almighty.
Less of that, fam.
Eyes on the camera, blood.
Turn that around.
Eyes on the camera, blood. Proper yeah? Turn that around. Do you guys like proper meat gazing?
Proper meat gazing.
Do you guys like...
Hold on, hold on.
Get it on me and Nick.
Do you guys like...
Even my finger's crooked.
Do you like tits?
You like titties?
We were just talking about that.
We were talking about 100% flam tits.
He likes flat colossal.
He likes flat colossal.
No tits, fat body.
Big tits.
That's Big Cat when he sees two big titties.
What do you like?
The flat chested ones with like bottle corks on it.
Is that your thing?
I like fat tits.
Yeah?
Couple of boy slims.
Fitties?
With veins on them.
Like going left and right.
Yeah, but do you like the ones with shape or the ones where she takes her bra off?
One goes over there and one goes down the hallway.
A little cockeyed. Sagittarius one dog's looking this way one dog's
looking that way yeah madness all right i'm done holding my finger out of my i'm not saying that
that thing ain't even coming in this is oh i might actually put my fucking hand up in my sleeve
so it looks like there's a hand.
What are you going to do?
Oh, wait.
How are you going to?
Oh, you're saying like this?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
You guys didn't have to stop.
Yeah, we were just.
Okay, so this I think think, looks more natural.
This is pissing me off.
I'm almost... We can't believe it.
Yeah.
It's taken up the whole show.
Look at this.
Damn, how are those guys doing there?
Looks good, right?
Nick's just sitting there normally.
I don't know if it's...
A lot of noise is being made.
It's so annoying.
In the background, we don't know what's going on
We just sit in here
Blood
We're just
Our little dinkies are out
Our little tiny dinkies
Our little dinky dinkies
Nothing
Dinky do's
The little dinky do's are just out
Y'all don't know anything about dinkies
Yeah
Learn a dinky do
What's a dinky?
You don't know anything about
Having a little tiny penis
Look at my dinky
Nah nah nah
I don't know about them
Please
It's cute though It is cute as a button.
Yeah, people always say my penis is very
cute.
Here we go. Alright, alright, alright.
So we're talking, we're talking.
I don't know what we're going to talk about now.
We're going to talk, talk.
This is really annoying.
Drone camera is pissing me off.
Is this Frankie's fault?
Oh, here we go. The shove just happened. And now we're throwing it at each other? Drone camera is pissing me off. Is this Frankie's fault? Drone camera, man. I can't even see the TV.
Oh, here we go.
Here it comes.
The shove just happened.
And now we're throwing it at each other?
We throw it at each other?
We're throwing it at each other.
Fucking sad.
Yeah.
Hey.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Yeah.
We nailed that.
Oh.
Oh, I think my penis was out.
Oh, shit.
My penis out?
What went past my neck? Was that one of those or the drone? I think it was the drone. shit My penis out? What went past my neck
Was that one of those
Or the drone
I think it was the drone
It probably clipped me
It clipped me fam
Did it?
Have you seen that guy
You should sue
The bowling alley video
This guy did was insane
You should sue
Hey well how do I go about that
I heard in America
I heard in America
You can sue someone
When they step on your trainers
Yes you can
Very litigious
You can sue them for anything
KB what do you say
When somebody steps on your shoes?
When someone...
Someone said that to me.
Oh, yeah. They said either
fund the scuff or get tough about it.
Oh, or get tough about it.
Is that what he said?
Yeah, that's exactly what he said.
What did you say?
I shut down.
But I didn't fund the scuff or get tough about it,
so I won.
We love that.
We love that.
Victory fan.
Victory.
Victory black.
Brandon, how was the shove?
It was good.
It felt good.
Two solid shoves to the chest.
He laid it in there pretty good.
You guys did great.
I think he still hates you.
You see our dinky dudes?
You see our little dinky dudes?
Devlin does not like dinky dudes.
You see my little fucking
heart is a rock.
What's British slang for like a tiny little penis?
We call that a KB.
A cocktail weenie.
Oh, that's more.
You know what I mean?
What's them things called?
A toothpick.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's it.
Wow.
Whoa, that guy's going.
I am.
Drones, hear me out.
Play it out.
Really?
Obama differs.
Well, that's the second one I've seen in my life.
Topical.
He loves them.
Loves them drones.
I wasn't very lib cat of you.
Double tap.
No.
What's happening?
Have I been radicalized?
I think you have.
Oh, my God.
Oh, let's end with this.
Let's end with this.
I'm no man, I think I am at all.
Oh, no, no.
I'm a rocket man.
Did he hook up?
I don't think so.
He's got a buffoon in.
That's Sass.
That's the king of New York. Yeah? He usually sits in that chair. What's Sass. That's the king of New York.
Yeah.
He usually sits in that chair.
What's that arm thing he's doing?
He's, yeah.
He kind of goes into his Bob Dylan impression here.
Right.
He kind of struggles when he's not in the chorus.
That girl is...
Yes.
Not listening.
She sure is.
Oh, here comes the man.
She's getting drawn.
Oh, she moved back.
That's not working.
Imagine a man performing, man, come and draw your girl.
That would be the ultimate disrespect, man.
I'm not even going to lie.
Big man ting.
Nah, I wouldn't have it, fam.
At least it hasn't gone viral. Turn the mic on him, bro. It's my mic Nah, I wouldn't have it, fam. Well, at least it hasn't gone viral.
Turn the mic on him, bro.
It's my mic.
You're chatting to my woman, blood.
I don't know what you're saying.
When I'm out here trying to perform, fam.
You get me?
That would be disrespect.
How's he gonna take her home and look her in the eye if he
I know.
She's gonna be thinking about sass.
Yeah, that is me.
Yeah.
Oh.
Jeez.
What's she gonna do with that?
All right, now.
Come on, now.
Yes.
It's gonna be a long, long time Till baby gonna get you up
I don't think a woman has ever looked at me like that before, ever.
I'm a rocky man
She's doing a little one-leg Shakira ting.
Yeah, her dance is a song.
She thinks that her hips don't lie, blood, but they do.
I'm telling you, she's hella stiff, bro.
You think her hips lie?
Nah, she's stiff, blood.
She's hella stiff, blood.
She is stiff.
She needs some WD-45, some oil, blood, some butter.
She's stiff, blood.
Expressions, plug your socials.
My socials, Iions Oozing on Instagram
You know them way there
Twitter
Oozing?
At Expressions
Ooze
Yeah, blood
I'm oozing
What are you oozing?
You're oozing
I'm oozing charisma
You need to be bandaged?
Are you mad, fam?
I love Expressions
The other stuff
That I ooze, blood
I leave in mouths, blood
Because I'm not a father
Just yet
You know them way there, fam?
Yeah?
Female mouths, blood Let's get that in You know them way know them ways, fam? Female mouths, let's get that in.
You know them ways there.
Expressions oozing on Instagram, Twitter,
expressions ooze YouTube,
expressions oozing, fam.
Wait, so it actually is oozing?
Yeah, fam.
You can just type in expressions and I'll come up,
I'm at Viagra on social media.
You know them ways there, you man will see me, bro.
God damn it.
Let's go. Oh, man. Sign know them way there. You man will see me, bro. God damn it. God damn. Come on. Let's go.
Oh, man.
All right.
All right.
Sign us off, too.
Yeah.
Who, me?
Oh, jeez.
Well, you have been listening to the Yak Show.
Obviously, you've had genetically jacked,
athletically stacked,
Hoffman, Hoff, amazing,
modern day Mac,
big X,
box office,
main event,
and obviously, we've
had the team as well, blud. This might as well be
my episode, fam. If I get invited
back on the show, this will be the number
one show, other than mine of course, blud.
You know them way there? But yeah, we move, fam.
Big up the mandem. Let's get a round of applause
on that, blud. Come on, my Gs.
Gang business.
Yak business.
Alright. Yeah, gang business. Yeah, yak business. All right. Hell yeah.