The Yak - The S.N.O.W. Cone Draft | The Yak 1-15-24
Episode Date: January 15, 2024Nope I doYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up.
Hello.
It's the Yak, sponsored by Roback.
Roback.com. Look at that coffee steamer.
Yeah, you like that?
It's awesome.
I'm very tired.
Roback.com, promo code Yak, 20% off your first purchase.
Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts.
Some hot coffee.
Fleeces.
Q-Zips.
Q-Zips.
I got the hoodie on right now nick is um in a full it's negative seven degrees you guys look
ridiculous i look normal but we had a very funny experience here when i walked in this morning
and uh nick was standing in the basketball court and i was was like, ooh, let's talk about it. And he just started being like, dude, it's so cold.
I knew I was going to get shamed.
He's like, yeah, it's so cold.
What, are you going to fucking shame me for this?
TJ, can you show what's on the court right now?
Move that.
Go to the right.
Yep.
It's let's talk about it.
A restaurant.
A restaurant.
I was standing in front of.
And I got real defensive.
He got super defensive.
I was projecting.
He walks in.
He goes, let's talk about it.
I'm like, what, dude?
You're so mad at me.
Negative seven.
I was like, dude, I'm talking about the taco place.
You fucking made me come here, dude.
It's so perfect.
I was like, no.
No, this is the new me. It is a great pun my uh my grandfather wore those
exclusively yeah he had like 10 of those uh i'm worried about uh bathroom yeah because
what do you call such a garment i think just a a pool a pullover a cover all a cover all
cover all you're fulfilling your west virginia dynasty right now like you're this is always
supposed to be.
Let's talk about it. I've had one of those before when I used to go to Shady Lake.
If you can fully get doing long johns and the wool socks.
I have long johns on underneath of this.
Yeah.
Why are you worried about the bathroom?
I don't want to have to get naked.
You just unzip.
Unzip the top.
I'll change you like a baby.
Unzip the bottom.
I guess, yeah. you don't poop here anyway
you don't i don't poop anywhere yeah any great look thanks man thank you hey there he is kb that's
what i thought uh-huh and it's you guys took probably took double the time to get dressed today
but you was just one thing let's talk about it oh fuck yeah uh sorry try to do. Let's talk about it. Oh, fuck it. Sorry. Tried to do too much. Let's talk about it.
What?
No, we got Let's Taco about it.
Really good restaurant.
Let's talk about it.
With a pun.
Where is that?
It's over by the basketball court. I don't know.
How do you not?
It looked like it was right in front of us.
We just started the show saying that Nick, I said let's talk about it because I saw it
and Nick got very mad.
I snapped, man.
I snapped.
I thought I was making fun of his thing Oh no I like that
Yeah he was just standing in front of the tacos
So I was just reading the sign of the tacos
We should actually just do only puns
We should yeah
For the restaurants we choose
Okay yeah we should just do pun restaurants
Your finest Chicago pun restaurant
Nick what are you wearing underneath that?
Long john pants and a t-shirt.
Long johns and pants?
No, long john pants.
Long handles.
Got it, got it, got it.
I think you look good.
I wish I was wearing it.
Here's my fear.
Greedy.
Oh.
Yeah, but. Because if this gets wet, it's going to be like 400 pounds. Here's my fear. Greedy. Oh.
Yeah, but.
Because if this gets wet, it's going to be like 400 pounds.
Well, we can figure out something else for this. So are you wearing that like every day this week?
I think so.
Okay.
Because that's the other thing.
You get something like that that's awesome, but it's going to be cold tomorrow as well.
Yeah, do you have to?
Do you have to buy like five of those or do you just run that back every time?
That's technically a coat.
Yeah. Oh, is this my coat?
It's a body coat.
It's a coat.
It's a body coat.
I'm wearing my coat.
I have a different fit on underneath.
Yeah.
You can keep that.
Okay.
I finally bought a nice, warm jacket.
There's nothing better than getting the real jackets.
Really ready for it.
I'm feeling great.
I fucked up.
I took your advice too far.
And on Friday night, I didn't wear my heavy coat out.
And it was like minus 10.
Oh, yeah, that was stupid.
And I was just wearing a light coat out, just freezing my tits off.
No, that's when you make the switch, though.
That's exactly when you make the switch.
The whole point was don't put on a heavy coat until it's really, really cold.
Because otherwise you'll get used to, you'll be like, oh, I need a heavy coat when it's 35 degrees. I tried to tough it out.
That's kind of thrilling, though.
No, it was terrible.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's real cold.
It's cold.
We're going to do a snow cone draft.
Exactly.
We switched it up.
People thought it was going to be burr.
It's gone through like 10 different iterations since this morning.
So it's snow?
Snow.
S-O-W.
Not quite. Yikes, Pat. Let's snow? Snow. S-O-W. Not quite.
Yikes, Pat.
Let's talk about it.
Skipped over the N.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Time, time, time, time.
Snow cone.
S-N-O-W.
Cone.
It changed a few times we have the snow cone maker over there that we were able to that big cat was able to target that's that's a snow cone maker
yeah you're telling me that thing pumps out snow cones oh it breaks ice apart yeah that's all it
takes not much to pump out a snow cone it's just ice yeah my vision is
like a giant machine so i'm hoping like a variety of liquids and quasi liquids will work right we
need to just get whatever we draft down to a syrup yeah i was a bad boy that's okay me too i was a
really bad boy i was bad too i was bad and got a mystery DAC. If someone wants to do a DAC.
A DAC?
Yeah.
You don't know what you're going to get.
Could be good, could be bad.
Someone wants to swap for a DAC.
I have some mysteries as well.
Yeah.
Oh, I have like five X's.
Oh, perfect.
Yeah.
So let's just throw them all out there.
Because I was bad.
Driving in now? Yeah, we got to preamble a little. We. That was a bad boy. So let's just throw them all out there because I was bad. We're diving in now?
Well, yeah.
We've got to preamble a little.
We've got to get a creed.
I was supposed to write a creed, but I didn't.
Okay.
Okay.
We could try to freestyle.
Well, I think people should just respect the fact that you tried to write a creed, but
you didn't.
I didn't.
Right.
I tried, but I didn't.
Credit.
Yeah.
Let's freestyle.
You had to get dressed.
All right.
Let's freestyle it.
Why doesn't everyone do a sentence? and cake yeah we'll rhyme it pancake marmalade pecan pie
and lemonade yeah that's pretty good agreed and that was our creed that was pretty good i like
all right what's that from this is something i wrote like in the middle of the night.
It's a little chant, campfire chant.
Pancake, marmalade, pecan pie, lemonade, Hershey kiss, butter, scotch, Swedish fish.
Take it up a notch.
Say it again faster.
All right.
Wait, can you text it to us? This is great.
We have to get it faster and faster every time.
It's mad corny, but I have to write this.
You might not be the Creed writer.
No, he's the campfire chant writer.
Is that a recipe?
Pancake.
It's just like a fun little.
You were picturing doing it like a camp.
Yeah, I like this.
Then you get faster and faster.
Thanks, man.
Okay.
You just had to do this last night?
This was a while ago.
I like this.
It says faster in parentheses.
All right.
So.
Faster.
Is everyone ready?
Yeah.
Brandon gave up.
Brandon.
What are you doing?
My furniture delivery is there.
My wife's not answering the door.
Oh.
You ready?
He doesn't have furniture yet.
You've been living there for three years.
I bought a bunch of furniture.
It's there today.
Okay, ready?
Ready?
Count us down, I guess.
Yeah.
You want to go three, two, one, or one, two, three, Kyle?
Three, two, one.
Pancake, marmalade, pecan pie, lemonade.
Hershey Kiss, butterscotch, Swedish Fish, take it up a notch.
Pancake, marmalade, pecan pie, lemonade.
Hershey Kiss, butterscotch, Swedish Fish, take it up a notch.
Pancake, marmalade, pecan pie, lemonade.
Hershey Kiss, butterscotch, Swedish Fish, take it up a notch.
Pancake, marmalade, pecan pie, lemonade.
Hershey Kiss, butterscotch, Swedish Fish, take it up a notch.
That's really good, man.
That was awesome.
I could see sitting around the campfire with like... It's better for like kids.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A little bit of that.
Oh, there's the campfire.
Oh, there's a fire right there.
Wow.
That was great.
That was a rush.
I had fun, yeah.
What time did you write this?
It popped in my head.
Which kind of sounds groovy.
The whole thing at once popped in your head?
The first four.
And then I was like, I got to let one more, one more verse, and then speed it up.
It works, yeah.
Yeah.
It's perfect. Love it up. It works, yeah. Perfect.
Love it.
That was our creed.
That was really good.
Sing it again at the end.
Can we just have that be the new, like, yak outro song?
All of us, yeah.
We get into, like, Boy Scout outfits.
Sit around.
Yeah, yeah.
A little bit of that.
Yeah, a little bit of that.
Maybe some cups stacking them.
Football's crazy.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
I'm satisfied with every type of game we got.
Kyle joined us on Saturday night.
You were getting a kick out of it.
When we tried to switch
him to spanish frank that was funny yeah he was a little bit overboard um but great i love the
games yeah both yesterday we got two today two today no it's great sass keeps texting me money
spreads and saying bucks money line underneath the picture oh huh ronucs money line underneath the picture. Oh. Huh. Roan, I believe, and Smitty are on their way right now.
Wait, they're coming here?
Yeah.
Nice.
Yeah, they'll be here tonight.
So Steelers plus 10?
Yeah.
Why does that seem so tempting?
I know.
It's a snow game.
There might not be a lot of points.
Is the weather still going to be crazy?
I don't think so.
It looked nice.
It calmed down a little bit.
It looked nice. It's the leftover now. The Steelers have don't think so. It looked nice. It calmed down a little bit. It looked nice.
It's the leftover now.
The Steelers have been hot.
Yeah.
It looked nice there.
I saw a picture, and it looked like it was covered in snow.
Well, yeah, it's covered in snow, but I'm saying the sky is not.
Yeah.
There's not more snow and crazy wind.
They should have played yesterday.
The wind is not, per Apple weather, the wind's not crazy.
It's like 13 to 15 right now.
I think it's going to be around 7 to 9 during game time.
Has that bowl always been there?
That's a yak, I bet.
It is a yak.
Has it always been there?
It's cute as hell.
People were mad that got moved.
Yeah.
They're saying how soft it is.
I kind of agree with you.
What?
Well, A, it gives us two Monday games on a holiday. That's awesome. Game. They're saying how soft it is. Yeah. I kind of agree with you. What?
Well, A, it gives us two Monday games on a holiday.
That's awesome.
Right.
People were upset that I said that it's a federal holiday,
but they're like, it was one of those things I should have realized before I even tweeted it.
Everyone who has to work on Monday is going to personally tell me
that the federal holiday means nothing.
But what do they want?
That wouldn't have been a football game.
That would have been a Survivorman competition.
Well, it's not even that.
It's not the football game.
It's getting the people to the stadium and back.
Oh, yeah. Like, if you get stranded,
if there was a travel ban in Buffalo,
like, you weren't allowed to get in your car. Yeah.
And if you had 80,000 people
trying to drive there, everyone would, like, crash.
There would be a lot of deaths.
People wanted the game to take place.
That is football.
Dying on the way to the game. That's part of the game. That's lot of death. So people wanted the game to take place. That is football. Dying on the way to the game.
That's part of the game.
That's part of football.
That's what we're playing football at.
I think Pittsburgh fans, which I understand, they were upset because that was our best chance to win.
And then other people were like, this is bullshit.
Why does the governor have a say?
And those same people would be the people that get stranded on the highway and they'd be like, I need help.
Yeah.
Let me call the government.
Dude, it's scary.
Come save me.
Right.
I've almost been trapped at that stadium before.
Really?
I almost had to fuck a guy to get a ride home.
Wait, what?
Really?
The elements?
Yeah, me and Sass went to the Dolphins-Bills game last year.
Oh, yeah, that was a good one.
And we got snowed in.
We couldn't get an Uber.
And then this, like, pair of swingers approached us and said they're going back to the same hotel.
The guy was grabbing my ass.
Whoa.
The girl was sitting on Sass, and they're like, you got to roll.
He could take you back.
Oh, we know Sass is uncomfortable.
Oh, he's freaking out.
You can't even pop a boner when a stripper shows up.
Fucking loser.
Yeah, he wouldn't get hard.
Yeah, couldn't get hard.
Wouldn't get hard with his voice.
Wouldn't, couldn't.
But, yeah, I do understand why you'd have to move it.
And also, people were upset that the governor had anything to do with it,
but it was her job, I think.
There should be some recourse if you bet on the under,
assuming it was going to be a plus or fuck.
A lot of them cancel the bet.
They do?
I think it's a 24-hour rule.
Okay, that seems...
So if you bet it and it's 24 hours after when the time was supposed to be the original.
Yeah.
Where do you guys stand on Nicky Smokes going out after a loss?
It's perfectly him.
Yeah.
Depends on how he behaved.
Yeah.
He probably had a great time.
It doesn't bother me.
If he danced, that's bad.
No, you can't dance after that.
He went last night, too.
He showed up yesterday in his club shirt
like two o'clock did the stream in the club shirt went right back out
yeah i don't do you think it's kind of unfair for the dolphins what do you mean maybe not unfair to
the dolphins but they didn't get to showcase their their true offensive talent so you got
a rematch yeah what yeah they should get a rematch? Yeah.
What?
Yeah, they should do a rematch.
Rematch.
They should have won against Buffalo at home.
Then they would have had a home game.
They would have had two home games.
It's not unfair to them.
Tua.
Tua's not good enough.
That's the answer.
Tua's not good enough.
So what do they do?
A bunch of L's this week.
Not really.
Yeah, you did.
Three.
I'm averaging three.
Dak.
Funeral.
Funeral. Dak. Mississippi State. Oh, you did. Three, I'm averaging three. Dak. Funeral.
Funeral, Dak, Mississippi State.
Oh, we liked your performance on the court.
Three weekends, nothing.
Yeah, I had a good time at the funeral and the basketball game.
Great time.
Great trip home. What was more fun?
Well, we lost the basketball game.
Yeah, I guess you didn't lose anything at the funeral.
That one's out.
No, yeah, I lost Mississippi State basketball,
Dolphins, and Dak within 24 hours.
And when the Dolphins and State lost Saturday,
I said, well, it's okay.
I've got that.
And I'll just pivot to that for the rest of the playoffs.
And then he didn't win.
I don't know if you saw it.
No, he didn't win.
No, he looked bad.
Oh, he did.
Did.
Can you shed light on the real story of the weekend? This Hank situation. Yeah. Yes. I knew he didn't win. No, he looked bad. No. He did. Dan, can you shed light on the real story of the weekend?
This Hank situation.
Yeah.
Yes.
I knew he'd get it.
Yeah.
Enough with the coy.
I'm fully saturated on Hank being coy.
It's time to pick a lane for me.
I think this was the boiling over point.
What?
Are they or aren't they?
Well, maybe not last night but
i would assume today because his flight got canceled he's not gonna be back till tomorrow
where's he saying he's plastering tiffany's walls right oh yeah yeah he's probably what he's doing
right is that is that good enough for you what he has to do I answered it enough times. He's spackling her drywall.
Yeah.
I wasn't sure either until I saw they made the pool bed.
I was like, that's it.
That's all but a body.
Making a pool bed is a body.
Yes.
Can we watch the video for people who haven't seen it?
It's rare, but like PFT and Max, I was in our studio doing some work,
and they both came running in.
And they're like, you have to watch this.
Oh, man.
Lost.
Everything lost.
Over.
Hit.
I want to die.
It's 30.
It's 20 degrees in Dallas.
This pool is probably colder.
14.
14 degrees.
Oh, my God.
Yeah. Dallas this pool is probably colder 14 degrees oh my god yeah because that was it's not the craziest thing to do but this is a body for sure oh yeah
I knew he was right here I just didn't know the plot twist like every time it was
is he hurt?
yeah he said his knee was very hurt
that's from his knee?
yeah
I knew that
like his tail was old as time
hardwood floors
wet feet
but I never saw that part
did he reappear in the background?
no I don't think so
that was another guy
another guy in wet jeans in a cowboy's jersey yeah wait did he reappear in the background? No, I don't think so. That was another guy?
Another guy in wet jeans and a Cowboys jersey?
Yeah, wait, did he reappear in the background?
Is that him?
Wait, what? No, it's not him.
That's a different jersey.
Oh, it's a different jersey, yeah.
But he did disappear.
He's genuinely embarrassed, I think.
Oh, yeah.
He also, he said Cowboys fans were like very mean to him, bullying him hard.
They know he's not a Cowboys fan.
And he cursed them.
He is.
They were great at home until Hank showed up.
16 straight wins.
But Hank's a winner.
Well, not yesterday.
Not when they needed him.
Yeah, he said that he was trying to get back to his seat in the second half,
and some fan like literally
blocked him it was like didn't you wait in the concourse for the patriot super bowls and hank's
like yeah like for the page he's like get in the concourse he's like okay yeah yeah hank also said
that he was uh he was trying to explain there was cowboys fans obviously all around him, but when they were down maybe 24, he's like,
listen, we're going to get the ball back.
We're going to score.
We're going to get three and out.
We're going to score again.
I've been here before, like Brady and Belichick.
And the Cowboy fan just looked at him and was like, dude,
what are you talking about?
There's no way we're going to win this game.
The Packers are back.
Oh, my God.
How are you doing with that?
I've just kind of accepted my fate that he's a Hall of Fame quarterback.
Yeah.
It is what it is.
He's good.
I would be a lot more nervous if I didn't have my Lord and Savior,
the San Francisco 49ers, ready to just smash them.
Every time they smash them. They're so young and so good. They were so good yesterday. Yeah, but the 49ers ready to just smash them. Every time they smash them.
They're so young and so good. They were so good yesterday.
Yeah, but the 49ers will smash them.
If the 49ers don't smash them, then I'll be
officially panicked. The 49ers will
smash them. That's what happens.
They smash them. It's their kryptonite.
They can't beat the 49ers.
And it's just Super Bowl
for you, right? So if they make the Super Bowl
and lost, Vegas will be pretty bad lost Vegas Super Bowl would be pretty bad this year
would be pretty bad
and it sucked because I do
like watching the Cowboys lose
but
it was at the hand of the Packers
yeah and they're so young like if they're
if they do make a run this is
potential dynasty
okay what are you guys doing?
Skip was way too composed at that at the trash can his trash can bodied him This is potential dynasty. Okay, what are you guys doing? No, man, I'm just saying.
Skip was way too composed at the trash can.
His trash can bodied him. If you're throwing things away in rage, you don't slowly unfold things.
But the smart can just...
Oh, yeah.
It was winning.
I didn't see it.
The smart can just dominated Skip Bayless.
Yeah.
It's almost like he was doing it as a performance.
Yeah. I don almost like he was doing it as a performance.
Yeah.
I don't think he was.
I think he just had the timing and cadence off with the smart trash can.
I don't think he's ever done.
He does this video every year.
Where he throws the jersey away. Yeah.
Watch this.
Oh, yeah.
It wasn't good.
All right.
All right.
I'm ready.
Oh, God.
Oh. Yeah, he's getting body, I'm ready. Oh, God. Ugh.
Yeah, he's getting body buzzed.
He just kept on doing that over and over.
His sounds were off-putting.
His backsplash.
That was uncomfortable to watch.
Yeah, wait, what was that?
Can you play the whole video?
His backsplash for, man, his riches.
Titus, weren't you friends with him?
Yeah, we were. Yeah, we worked together. You were cool? Yeah, you're friends with him ted is weren't you friends with him yeah we were yeah we
worked together you were cool yeah yeah you're friends with every like if you work with somebody
you're automatically friends with best friend yeah yeah who are you tighter with skip bayless
coward the answer is coward i was gonna say arico bosco uh did you you ever have dinner with Skip Bills?
Skip was always by himself on the lot.
Everywhere.
They would do the show, and then he really sucks.
He sucks a real time.
Everybody thinks he's playing a character.
He's not.
That's great.
The show ends, and everybody like immediately gets away from him.
And he's on the elevator by himself.
Yeah, like Cowherd.
Cowherd's mixing it up with everybody in the lobby and in the break room.
And he's talking to everybody.
But Skip was always just by himself.
Always.
That's so funny.
It felt right though.
Yeah.
It felt right.
He doesn't sleep in the same bed as his wife on weeknights.
He has to get up early to work out.
I respect that.
He's just a lone wolf.
The working out part of this is up in the... Not sleeping with your wife.
Yeah.
Can you find the full video, TJ, for the backsplash?
Yeah, look at this.
What is this?
Oh, the...
Oh, yeah.
That looks like a...
It looks like a...
Like a college-age kid's luxury high-rise.
It looks like he works in the Museum of Taxi History.
He definitely just bought that shirt to throw it away, right?
Yeah.
He does this every year.
He's steady.
He's got to burn it next year.
I know he does it, but...
It looks like he's folding laundry.
And there was nothing previously in that trash can.
No.
No, because he's going to get it back out.
That's Zeke.
Could be Deion, right?
Oh.
He surprised every jersey.
Oh.
Dang it.
Oh, this sucks.
What do we got here?
Is that a CD?
The can just...
Dang it.
Shucks.
Not the hat, too.
Not the hat.
You're actually wearing one.
You're wearing one, though.
Dude, that can owns him.
Oh.
There it is.
Smack it.
That was kind of you.
The smack of the hat was fine. What's he doing doing look at that backspot wait is there more
ernestine did a good job damn good anchor man poster in the hallway does he
he's too rich to have an Anchorman poster. God damn it.
Potentially in Anchorman?
Otherwise, that's the craziest thing ever. It's probably signed or something.
Yeah, wait.
Was he in the second one?
I don't think he was.
No.
Was he?
No.
He could have.
An Anchorman?
The first one?
No, not the first one.
But the second one was like-
That was a poster for the first one.
The second one was about cable news and stuff. So
It's his all-time favorite movie.
Skip House, weird dude.
Very weird. Yeah.
Just a weird dude.
I bought a bunch of movie posters to decorate with last week
and now I wish I'd bought an anchor man.
Oh, he just loves the movie.
Just loves the film.
How is this a seven minute clip? Why do funny question i'm sure some of you maybe many of you these guys like skip
bayless and steven a cva is way more entertaining than skip bayless they really don't know how to do
just a podcast that doesn't like have to also look like a TV show.
Yeah.
They can't just sit comfortably and do a podcast.
Why do you need this whole setup?
And the fake mic next to you?
It's weird.
All right.
Why does he have it?
Yeah, because I was going to go back and watch this.
Look at this.
That's a real feminine logo.
I fired Dak's jersey into the trash late Sunday night.
Just for the record, we have a number of movie posters decorating the walls of our home, thanks to Ernstein.
So he's just tacked down that same hallway that you can see the
anchorman poster from the kitchen i feel like he's speaking in front of congress what are the
other movies they're actually two other of our favorite movies in poster what are they so we
have anchorman that you saw we have caddyshack and we have die hard, they're really tacky. Yeah, no, they're just tacky. Like the backsplash.
It is a great Christmas movie.
It all makes sense.
I could watch for the 147th time.
If you told me this was AI,
I'd be like, oh, fuck yeah.
What is the camera panning for?
You're right, that is a feminine logo.
Really?
Sergeant Al Powell, give me Hans Gruber.
I know every line.
What's going on right now?
Why is he so somber?
We can look out our window and see the actual diehard tower.
Not going to tell me Plaza.
Which is actually a Fox tower.
What is going on right now?
But Anchorman is power.
Is he trying to do the most boring podcast ever
because in largest part i'm in the business and i have worked with walter cronkite reporting
jfk's death more energy than this yesely boring. Who's listening to this?
The essence.
Why is it so sad?
Why is it so slow?
You know, most great comedies have, what, an 80% hit rate on the jokes and the gags.
Anchorman is 98%.
He's just breaking down Anchorman.
Sex Panther.
I've gone to 180.
This is the best.
Hilarious.
Best podcast I've ever heard.
Saying that so seriously.
In the cadence of the jokes and the gags.
Christina Applegate.
He's got the furrowed brow.
Oh, my God.
Is he reading off a script? He is. He's got the furrowed brow. Oh my god. Is he reading off a script?
He is. He's reading something.
None of this is from the heart.
And also, by the way,
Will Ferrell's Talladega Nights
rivals Anchorman for us.
But for us, Caddyshack
is the closest second to Anchorman.
I may have mentioned Caddyshack is the closest second to Anchorman. I may have mentioned Caddyshack before here,
but it really gets golf.
What the fuck?
Did he have a stroke before the show?
What happened?
It's my passion.
It's my obsession.
This has to be AI.
It's my love and my hate.
But you don't have to get golf to get Caddyshack.
It's Rodney Dangerfield and Chevy Chase and Bill Murray.
Big hitter, the llama.
What is going on?
He says, the llama.
Big hitter.
Bill Murray gets total consciousness.
I'm fascinated right now at what is going on.
The Cinderella story scene is just all-time greatest.
I'm not going to lie.
I'm locked in.
I am too.
I'm into it.
I'm calm.
The 180.
You're right.
We watch Caddyshack, I don't know, two, three, four times a year.
Just when we need to get our spirits picked up.
Actually, no.
This shit sucks dick.
It sucks so bad.
What's the next topic? It's halfway through the video. Was it seven minutes just on this? spirits picked up. Actually, no, this shit sucks dick. It sucks so bad. What is he going to do?
What's the next topic?
Was it seven minutes just on this?
It's a seven minute video.
Oh my god.
So the answer is, I love the movie. It's one of my
favorite movies. That's it. It's my favorite
comedy. That's a four second answer.
Wait, what is he talking about now?
It is emotionally
draining.
If you started watching it, you would not be able to stop.
What movie could this be?
Happy Gilmore.
It is hide your eyes tension.
Die Hard?
Die Hard.
To the bitter end.
That's Die Hard.
But again, I have some Old West in me.
I have some Gregory Peck. I have some Salvaje in me I have some Gregory Peck I have some salvaje in me I gotta respond to him
and that's why that artwork
hangs on me
that's how he finished it
oh my god holy shit
I just I feel like we just watched
the most depressed man on earth
I almost like disassociated yeah
I felt high watching that
is he gonna be okay i don't know it was seven minutes
on on uh when was that tj that was today thank you uh one year ago oh january 30th last year so
right after the cowboys got eliminated last year and he posted his video throwing people's stuff in the garbage.
Oh, that could have easily played for today.
I thought it was today.
The exact same thing that just happened, yeah.
He'll probably do this segment on his show today.
Oh, how do we write in?
We need this.
Yeah, we have to prompt him.
Can we write in?
Yeah.
Hey, man, just curious.
What's up with the Anchorman?
I want him to go.
I want to ask again.
Every scene of Anchorman. I probably know who produces that show i probably worked with him hit him up fox yeah i
should yeah just hit him up and ask yeah you don't have to implicate so just ask how do we
ask yeah how do i get in the uh q a box what a clip
i wonder if he's added any movie posters since last year.
I don't know, man.
He's pretty depressed.
Is he actually?
Does he thrive when the Cowboys are winning?
No, this is his Super Bowl.
I don't think he cares.
Right?
This is his biggest day.
I don't know.
I think he liked that.
This is when LeBron loses.
No, he would probably like them to win a Super Bowl because then he could dunk on everyone.
Yeah.
This is Stephen A's Super Bowl.
Okay.
So skip Super Bowl is LeBron losing.
Yes.
Okay.
Yes.
Stephen A is a noted Dallas Cowboys hater.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
We also should do one last thing before we start the draft.
It is MLK Day.
Yeah.
TJ, can you play the clip from last year?
We should play it.
Huh.
Do you want me to send it to you?
Yeah, I have no idea.
I don't possibly know what this is.
Oh, I know what it is.
Okay, hold on.
I'm going to send it to you right now.
Want to do the high Noon ad, Reed?
Yeah.
Nikki?
Yeah, Brandon grabbing for the paper.
Not anymore, pal.
High Noon.
Sip on summer flavors in the middle of winter.
Introducing the all-new High Noon Snowbird Pack,
featuring a perfect mix of winter and summer flavors.
The eight-pack includes two new flavors, raspberry and plum,
alongside High Noon classics peach and lemon.
All made with real vodka and real juice.
The Snowbird Pack is a winter exclusive
so get it before the ice melts.
Track down the nearest pack, near you,
at highnoonspirits.com
Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm
Give me a sip of that high noon.
Mm. Mm.
That's their new tagline. Yummy, yummy.
Mm-mm-mm. How many mms?
Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. Give me a new tagline. Yummy, yummy. Mmm, mmm, mmm. How many mmms? Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.
Give me a sip of that high noon, brother.
Can you do it in a Skip Bayless voice?
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
No, I can't.
It's impossible. Nope.
Can't do that.
You made that all up.
Yeah.
TJ, what's going on?
Yeah, what is this?
We're getting chatbotted or something
By what
What do you mean chatbotted
Every five minutes
There's a new account
Spamming slurs in the chat
Letter by letter
Awful
Jesus Christ
Yuck
Mincy
How do we stop it
I don't know.
I can't ban letters.
So it's not actually yak listeners.
It's just bots.
I mean, do we just turn off live chat?
No.
Huh.
Hmm.
Is it one person?
I think it's bots. It's probably one person with a bunch of accounts.
Fuck.
Hold the line, boys.
You just got to break up the word. Yeah, throw in different letters. Throw in different letters. Hold the line boys you just got to break up the word yeah throw in different letters
throw in different letters out line of hold the line this is the chat and this is your land
together yeah yeah we will defend you only for a little bit and then we'll retreat we'll turn
we'll shut down the whole chat you have 20 minutes to fix this before we never see you again. But we stand by you.
One of my ingredients, I think the colder it gets,
the more gross it'll be.
What?
Like, it's been sitting in my bag for too long.
Okay.
Shout out to real chatters who are under attack
trying to hold a line right now.
That sucks.
I also just like the idea of just like our fans being like got a day
off and then we start getting under attack they're like cancel my schedule yeah we have to we have to
fight back we lost a lot of things uh it's not only mlk
it's a lot of black history i own a rosa parks uh signed naacp card so it was pretty shocking today how I was called racist when when I am a student and lover of black history.
And it was it was I never expected the reaction that I that I got today.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry if people think that a white man can't enjoy black history.
I really am.
He's the victim.
I'm sorry if people think that a white man can't love Martin Luther King.
But to me, that seems pretty counterintuitive.
You got me?
Yeah, they got you.
Hey, Footballville, you have a question?
I'm doing MLK signed items.
Love it.
I love it.
Over nine.
God damn.
It's the best.
He's cucked MLK day.
Yeah, it's his day.
Over nine.
And one of them was Martin Luther King, who was unjustly jailed,
having to sign for his own mail.
He has that sheet of paper.
It's a collector's item.
The whole sign-in sheet, right?
Yeah.
What's it graded?
Right.
That's crazy.
It's a nice little piece he has in his living room.
It's Rosa Parks' autograph autograph but it actually was like
a literally like it was her membership card yeah it wasn't an autograph it was she didn't sign that
she had to sign yeah civil rights memorabilia it's uh yeah yeah three words that go together
for sure that shouldn't be like in a museum or educational it should be in darren rovell's house
i'm sorry if it's wrong for a white man
to love black history. I see it and I want
to own it. Calling me racist
is cute. On this day
especially. I have one of the largest
Martin Luther King Jr. collections in the
world and some of my closest friends
are black. This tweet has been deleted.
I've seen that screenshot
like a hundred times today.
That's the new.
It's maybe the perfect tweet.
Being like, how could you say I'm racist?
I have collected all of Martin Luther King's personal possessions so his family can't have them as cut sakes.
Robbed him.
I found a loophole to rob him.
I'm so clearly a huge fan.
Would a racist have this?
Would a racist make money on this? Would a racist make money on this?
Would a racist have his jail records?
Such a weird, weird guy.
But I do weirdly like him just because he provides content.
Have you hung out with him in person?
No.
What? No. What?
No.
When I played him one-on-one, no.
Does he still have your son's Twitter account?
I think he does.
Weird.
That's weird.
Very weird.
We saw him at the Super Bowl.
He got very upset because PFD did the shake your hand and then poof.
He said that that was bullshit.
That's real cute.
I think I've seen him once or twice.
I mean, we do call him on PMT.
I just hang up on him, which is awesome.
Yeah, that's funny.
Best feeling.
I should do that again soon.
He's probably busy today.
eBay.
It's a big day for him.
Huge day.
The value's the highest right now.
It's in the air.
Yeah.
Most people wake up on King Jr. Day being like,
I really want some memorabilia.
Damn, I need some of his shit.
That'd be great if he does like a flash sale.
Yeah.
Three for one on an LK day only.
Winning an auction on this day is bad.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
You didn't say I'm sorry. Alright, should we draft?
Let's draft. Yeah, let's reveal the ingredients.
I've been a bad boy. I've been mean. I'm going to say that right now.
I've been a very bad boy.
So we're going S-N-O-W.
There it is.
I apologize.
I slept like three hours last night.
And then we're going to do a mystery box?
Sure.
And we're going to need ice for the snow cone machine, correct?
Yeah, we have a bunch of ice out in the front.
Okay.
Let's do a twist on mystery box.
We should do like all the extras.
We should get a real box.
We should have page number. Yep. And yeah, so you have to get one all the extras. We should get a real box. We should have page number.
Yep.
And yeah, so you have to get one of the mysteries.
Yeah, then you just have to get a mystery.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'll tell her to come in.
All right.
So should we reveal our items?
Sure.
Letter by letter.
And what we're going to do is we're going to blend it.
So we will add, I think when we did the smoothie draft, we didn't add any liquid.
Yeah.
We will add liquid to this one.
We'll get it to be a syrup.
Yeah, we want it to be as close to a syrup,
and then you drizzle it on top of your snow cone.
Eat the snow cone?
Yeah.
Yes, and then also I got food coloring so everyone can pick a color.
And it will be, yeah.
Yeah, we'll have, how many, did Steven and Zahn and TJ,
you guys bring stuff?
TJ, you bring stuff? No. I can't eat, sorry. Okay, how many, did Steven and Zahn and TJ, you guys bring stuff? TJ, you bring stuff?
No.
I can't eat, sorry.
Okay, all right, that's fine.
So that's actually perfect.
We have eight colors.
Great.
So we'll do, will the color, you can draft the color as well.
Yeah.
I'm taking red first.
It'll trick my brain into thinking it's good.
Here are the colors.
Let me get the colors.
Oh, man.
I think we have classic and then neon.
Food coloring.
Yeah, let's be specific about food colors. Yeah.
So I was, yeah.
I was a bad boy.
My son doesn't have school today and we went to
Target and he just kept on saying,
what is that?
Everything I picked out.
But what do you do with that oh you get your
furniture brandon yeah i'm getting there oh shit whose place is that that's your place yeah god
damn what do you get delivered just a bunch of furniture i bought some like what some chairs uh some beds a sofa
yeah one bed my my my eight-year-old has gone from a a small bed to a bad bed
it's a big day that's very nice looking home man yeah thank you are any of your kids taller than me
yeah fuck just one though the boy the girl the girl yeah Are any of your kids taller than me? Yeah. Fuck. Just one, though. The boy?
The girl.
The girl.
Yeah.
She's 15, though.
She's not.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, that makes me feel good.
She's like 5'11", so yeah.
Yeah.
That's fine.
You guys want to hear a real mind fuck story that happened to me yesterday with kids?
Yeah, what?
So my son had his classmate had his birthday party.
So the Steelers-Bills game gets canceled.
So I'm like, great, I can take him to this birthday party.
So I get in the car and I look at the calendar and there's the address.
And I was like, huh, this is a little weird.
Show up to the place. It was the exact same apartment that I lived in in 2008 with four of my friends.
No way.
What a mind-fuck.
That's crazy.
I was sitting in the kids' playroom that was my bedroom 16 years ago.
Oh, my God.
What a feeling that was.
It was wild.
Whoa. Yeah. You kind of get extra leeway to like
well i also knew what happened in a lot of those places in that house so it's like
they're like the i told the people um and they're like what do you think of the place i was like
yeah oh yeah did you did you tell them it was your old bathroom? Yeah, I told them. It does look nicer, but I've also, like, it was, we were, like, 22.
Oh, man.
Probably trashed it.
There was five of us, and we trashed, I mean, one of my roommates flooded the entire bathroom
because he was so drunk he forgot that he set a bath.
Oh, my gosh.
A drunk bath?
Yeah, it was a drunk bath.
It went right through the ceiling.
A drunk bath.
That's a wild.
That's a good way to die. Try to do a drunk bath. It was, the ceiling. A drunk bath. That's a wild. That's a good way to die.
Tried to do a drunk bath.
It was like two inches of water in his bedroom.
He just fell asleep.
Drunk bath.
Oh, yeah.
And then my friend who lived below him, because it was two floors, was like, why is it leaking
in my bedroom right now?
The post-grad apartment is now a family house.
Crazy. Yeah. It was was a total i was watching a
magician no there's a magician at the birthday how was he he was pretty good he was pretty good
so that that that apartment was like your whole life it was like it was it was like yesterday
you went back in time to 2008 and back to jik week yeah you might be dead yeah shit it was a very unsettling feeling like watching my
son play in what was my bedroom with all his friends did you break out the cocaine damn like
no but i bet you i could i bet you there's a couple places i could find some in that apartment
you should have looked should have just gone right into the kitchen been like
right under the cabinet been like oh take it a look here yeah what are you looking for i'll just throw cocaine oh man yeah there he is rutledge victory lap oh yeah
big win shout out cory congrats cory he deserves it first one
what yeah tell us how it was first one you can remember
it's a big bag.
Did you hear the story about sprinkles?
I did.
That was awesome.
That's a really interesting coat.
That's quite the coat.
Where do we begin?
That's awesome.
How did that happen?
Why?
Why?
Where do you begin? I think it How? That's awesome. How did that happen? Why? Where do you begin?
I think it's the Super Bowl coat from that year, 91.
Oh.
37-24 Washington.
Yep, correct.
How was it?
Are you trying to Frank the Tank?
No, I know for Super Bowls.
I couldn't have done what he did.
Corey, how are you feeling?
I am full and empty at the same time.
I've been laughing, crying, screaming.
No, I was all alone watching.
I was such a nervous wreck yesterday.
I didn't want to bother you guys here at the stream.
I was just like, I got to lock myself in.
Oh, you're going to have to come next week now knowing that.
Dude, it was awesome.
Thanks for texting me, by the way.
Get your text.
It was awesome.
You're welcome.
We're happy for running.
Not Brandon. No, it was awesome. Thanks for texting me, by the way. Get your text. It was awesome. You're welcome. We're happy for Rutton. Not Brandon.
No, it was great.
I think any of the Lions fans out there who have been through it,
it was just one of those releases.
I think once it happened, it was just like I just fucking started crying.
I'm ready to cry right now.
I'll cry all over all you guys.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
That was sweet.
Are you worried at all, the emotional letdown?
No.
I think at this point, we're on house money.
Division championship was great. Playoff win win all that monkey off our back shit it's this point it's a bonus i'm just
happy it's great shout out sprinkles sprinkles detroit don or i mean yeah i i wanted to see
what those guys were doing those guys need to be like those guys you sat with yeah so we called
detroit don last night and he started a story that made me very nervous.
He's like, we had a missing girl.
And I was like, what?
Yeah.
That'll happen.
And then he said that, so this part of the Lions stadium is incredible.
It's like just everyone dresses up, season ticket holders, diehards.
He said that there was a woman who sat next to them named Sprinkles, who they didn't realize,
they thought she just died.
After the game that I went to, Aaron Rodgers threw the Hail Mary.
She vowed to not go to another Lions game until they went to the playoffs.
So she showed up last night.
For the first time since that video?
She hadn't seen her in eight years.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
He said the Tin Man looked like he saw a ghost.
Tin Man is one of the fans.
Probably kidding. So she kept her word. She kept her word. Tin Man is one of the fans. Tin Man. Okay. You're probably kidding.
So she kept her word.
She kept her word.
She kept her tickets.
But she also kept her season tickets.
Yeah, just sold them.
Shout out Sprinkles.
Yeah.
That's a real fan.
Yeah.
We got to see what Sprinkles is up to.
I know.
Usually people will say, I'm never going to watch this team again.
They're back week one, back preseason.
She did it.
She did it.
They thought she was just gone forever, and then Sprinkles showed up.
She's ride or die.
Ghost of Christmas past.
I want to see Sprinkles in real life.
Yeah.
She got her over here.
If they go to the Super Bowl, PFT and I are going to buy them tickets.
Oh, really?
Yep.
I'll be out there working.
I might just dump the wallet on it if it happens.
You might have to video them.
I'll fucking, yeah.
Yeah.
I'll bring in Goat Bros up my ass.
We can find a way to get you into i mean
that would be incredible yeah uh yeah overall great time i don't want to take too much of your
time because i got to do some other stuff but it's incredible go lions uh let's see what happens
this week you're gonna have to you're gonna have to come in on sunday oh yeah as long as i can wear
my lion head and uh be completely i want you to yes okay yeah do we have a dump button no we don't need
okay cool you're fine yeah we'll put you and Matt who's uh one of our social uh guys who's a die
hard Lions fan as well we'll put you guys front and center oh fuck yeah all right yeah all right
thanks guys yeah yeah what are the chances Max punches Steven today oh hi, my God. Yeah, very high. Yeah, I think really high.
High.
Because I don't...
I think it's going to be a good game.
Yeah.
It's going to be must-watch.
Steven.
So, Smitty and Roan are coming.
I think we'll just sit all four of them on the front couch.
Let's do it.
That was fun.
Do you have anything up your sleeve, Steven?
Like, as a fan fan any superstitions anything
prepared uh no i mean i i am i'm very nervous about this game like we shouldn't we should not
win this game on paper but uh they're a very talented team and uh if we are lucky enough to
advance we have uh i i would rather play det.A., but I'm not thinking ahead.
All right.
Yeah, it's already annoying.
Wait.
You just thought ahead, though.
Oh, yeah.
I clarified it with I'm not thinking ahead.
Right, but that was –
You laid it out.
You just said I'd rather play Detroit than L.A.,
but I'm not thinking ahead.
Exactly.
Always got you.
Yeah.
Exactly.
I guess you got me there I am
how's Jerry's confidence
high
yeah
he said 85% chance
Steelers win
85
I don't think
that's true
but
they're hot
but if he wins
the Bills are the hottest
team in football
listen I'm
I'm unbiased
okay
I think Jerry 85 is probably a little high maybe 80 But if he wins... The Bills are the hottest team in football. Listen, I'm unbiased.
I think Jerry... 85 is probably a little high.
Maybe 80.
Me and Jerry rode home last night. We were making big plans.
But you're not looking ahead?
No.
That would be very much looking ahead.
You've made...
Making plans is the definition of looking ahead.
Yeah. Football plans, what'd you make?
I was happy.
Village Boys Parlay.
We got the Steelers, Bucks, Moneyline.
Your plan was happy?
You just said you made plans, and they said we're just happy.
The Village Boy Parlay, their plan is to bet on each other's team.
That's that, yeah, for sure.
We're both true fans with supreme confidence in our teams.
It doesn't sound like you were confident when you said,
oh, they're the better team on paper.
It'll be tough.
We might not win.
I got to temper my expectations, but I'm always confident.
I want sadness from you.
Look, he's saying everything.
I want you so sad.
I want you just dead.
You realize draft prep would start tomorrow morning, right?
The ideal situation is he's
on top, Max is spiraling.
No, because here's what happened. Agreed.
No. Because Max
was out
on the Eagles.
Oh, yeah. No, he's not.
No, he was. He was really out.
This team sucks. I don't expect him to do anything. They score one touchdown, he's not. No, no. He was. He was really out. Like, this team sucks. I don't expect him to do anything.
They score one touchdown.
He's back.
He's already back because the fact that the Lions won,
he thinks the Eagles can beat the Lions.
So we need him to win tonight to get all the way back up,
and then we crush him.
This is Connor Griffin's theory as well.
Yeah.
Yeah, Connor Griffin says,
only two things are going to happen with the Eagles in these playoffs.
Either they lose tonight or they win the Super Bowl.
Those are the only two things.
Those are the only two.
I can see a lot of other things happening.
People love saying shit like that.
Yeah.
So many other things are going to happen.
Yeah, like either.
I have zero confidence we're going to beat the Buccaneers.
Zero.
We fucking suck. We've lived through the finish. Yep. But, yeah, if to beat the Buccaneers. Zero. We fucking suck.
We've lived through the finish.
But if we beat the Bucs tonight, we're winning the Super Bowl.
Yeah, that's the equivalent of when people try to make a game pick,
and they're like, we're either going to win or lose by a lot.
Yeah.
So many people do that.
And they try to flex when they were right.
Like, yeah, that was like two of the three options.
All right.
Let's draft.
Oh, boy.
Let's reveal.
Let's reveal.
So hold back your mystery items.
Yeah.
Steven, you want to text Paige and tell her to bring in a box?
Like cardboard box
Yeah and we'll dump our mystery items
Then we'll have her number them
One through whatever
And then everyone has to pick a random number
Sure yeah Sam's got one
Okay
Everyone want to show their S's
Sure
I got some bad stuff
My S is
Scope Mouthwash All right. I got some bad stuff. My S is scope.
Oh.
Mouthwash.
Oh.
That's poisonous.
I went with Sprite.
Okay.
That's not bad.
That's great.
Yeah.
Should I do my...
Just your S.
One or two S.
Your one S.
One S.
S, T, or S.
But I think we should show them... Salami. Nice. Great. Disgusting. Salami. Yeah. One S. S tier S. But I think we should show the mystery items.
Nice.
Great.
Disgusting.
Salami.
Yeah.
Is that going to work?
We're going to have to really blend it.
Pure may it.
Should we show the mystery items that go in the box so you know what you could potentially get?
Yes.
Yes.
I love that.
All right.
So make a pile of all these.
Or what if they're just complete mysteries?
No, but they're going to be-
Numbered.
Yeah.
They're going to be numbered, so it's going to be random, but we know how bad it could get.
You don't want to find out.
No, I want to know everything.
I want to know the risk.
S's?
S's.
Yours.
Steakhouse chili.
Oh.
Oh, I think I'm going to throw up.
Oh, no.
Oh, what do you got, Moog?
I got platter to go.
Salmon.
Oh!
Stinky, stinky salmon.
Oh, that's three.
That's not smelling good.
That's actual.
That's food poisoning.
That's actually going to.
Do you want to smell?
No.
We're going to add liquid.
And it'll be fine once it's blended.
It'll kill all the germs once it's blended.
Okay.
I got Spongebob Squarepants.
That's good.
That's good.
Yeah.
Steven, Za.
Oops.
Sorry.
I knew you boys were going to do this.
I got some good ingredients.
I got strawberries.
Okay.
Great.
Great.
Za, what did you get?
I didn't get any.
All right, Za.
I'll just go double up for you. Okay? Yeah
spam
You were bad boy, I was a bad boy. I told you I was a bad boy
Spams, uh spam get those strawberries. Yeah
Okay, Oh
Ends I keep forgetting it. I did forget and at the grocery store I got an
extra and I found one okay go ahead Nick
thank you Brendan oh I need an extra N for Zah. I'll come up with something.
Okay.
Nuggets.
In your hand.
In your hand.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Just some loose nuggets.
Nestle chocolate chips.
Good job.
We needed that.
We got some sweet options.
Hebrew national Hot Dogs.
This is going to be a bad one.
Are they raw, too?
Well, I mean, they're already cooked.
They're cooked.
This is going to be a bad one today.
Okay.
Nitro cold brew.
That'll take a somewhat neutral.
A strong taste.
That's not bad.
I got a good N.
I got Nielsen Massey pure vanilla extract.
Okay.
I'll be all right.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine. I'm going to separate the end. Famous Key West lime juice.
That's going to be good.
That'll be real good.
Okay.
Lime juice?
Yeah, I think probably just lime juice.
What do you got, Steven? Yeah, that's what I got.
Got some lovely Nesquik.
Nesquik.
Nice.
There you go.
That'll work.
Nesquik.
All right.
Does anyone have an extra N for Za?
Kind of. I do. Does anyone have an extra N for Zah?
Kind of.
I do.
Okay.
Yeah.
Throw in an extra N for Zah.
Or do I?
No, I don't.
I have wasabi nuts.
Oh, that counts.
That counts.
That absolutely counts.
Fuck.
N.
Yeah.
This is going to be gross.
O's. I like your shoes, Steven.
O's.
Nice.
O.
O's. OJ. All Steven. Oh. Nice. Oh. Ohs.
OJ.
Oh.
There we go.
I have some oven roasted turkey breast.
Okay.
So much meat.
Yeah.
This is going to be a real meaty snow cone.
That might be a good theme.
A meat cone.
I have olives.
Okay.
We can start that business.
And for Zah, onion powder.
Fuck, man.
That was a bad, bad boy.
Yeah.
I have olive oil mayo.
Oh, gross.
I can't know.
I don't think I can do this.
Oh, my God.
I have two O's.
Do we want a good one or a bad one?
Good one.
Go good.
I have a bad as a mystery.
Orange juice.
Double orange juice.
Organic orange juice.
I got oat milk.
One of the better ones.
We should have liquids.
I don't know.
I don't see much synergy amongst the ingredients, though.
I don't see a clear path to victory. I don't know. I don't see much synergy amongst the ingredients, though. Yeah.
I don't see a clear path to victory.
Orange juice, strawberries.
If you got lucky, you could.
What?
Vanilla extract.
Those juice everything.
Yeah.
The orange soda.
Orange soda.
Okay.
Nice. Interesting.
O's got a lot of liquids in them.
Yeah, that's good.
All right.
W's.
Warheads. Warhead good. All right, W's. Warheads.
Warhead cubes.
White wine.
Ooh.
Classy.
I have Worcestershire sauce.
Oh.
Delicious.
Very good.
Yeah.
For the W's.
Come on, Steven.
Come on, Steven.
Jesus Christ, man.
Does anyone have an extra W for Zaw?
Don't.
I don't get a lot of Ws.
I got two extra O's.
Move a...
I'll just call one of the O's a W.
All right.
Let's call these Sassy Sweet Pickle Bites an O.
Is there any W on there whatsoever or no there's a w
and sweet there we go yeah sweet sweet pickle wheat pickle bites that was a bad throw um
watermelon juice oh nice i also got worcestershire oh double, double. Alright. Wheat thins. Nice.
Steven?
Watermelon.
Okay, great. Nice.
That's huge. That's ironic. That is
my least favorite ingredient. What is it?
Really? Watermelon. Really?
That's your what? That's my least favorite
ingredient of the whole thing. That will make everything
taste better. Watermelon?
That's how much I hate watermelon.
Okay, and then-
That's a non-taste.
Isn't your town known for watermelons?
Yeah.
Really?
That's Smith County, and that's like 10 counties away.
Okay, for the box, everyone put their items in the box.
Tell you what you got.
Yeah.
I have thick, mild salsa, and tomato bisque.
I love me some bisque.
I have jalapeno beef jerky and freeze-dried gummy bears.
Okay.
You got any extras, Brandon?
No.
Nice.
Nice toss.
I got olive juice.
Not the olives, just the juice.
Oh, okay. You can't use the olives? No. Okay. It said jal I got olive juice. Not the olives, just the juice. Oh, okay.
You can't use the olives?
No.
Okay.
It said jalapenos on it.
What do you got?
It did?
Yeah, it's jalapenos.
Oh, my God.
No, no.
Queen olives stuffed with jalapenos.
Ah.
Come on now.
Mystery items?
I have blue cheese stuffed olives.
Oh, God, boys.
A lot of olives.
And salted caramel protein shake.
Now, this is supposed to be a liquid that we're going to put over.
Yeah, well, I didn't do liquid.
No, I didn't do liquid.
Here's what we can do.
For this draft, we don't have to, like, if you get, like, chicken nuggets,
you can put, like, one chicken nugget in.
I would prefer you to try to blend it into the syrup.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Like, you don't have to, like to put the whole pack of hot dogs in.
You get like a half a hot dog.
You just need to get to a syrup consistency.
Let's do one thing.
Let's switch the pickles.
Let's put them in the box, and let's just have water be.
Oh, that's a good W.
Yeah, a good W.
So water will be a W.
And then so now we have. I have a bag of Dak. Oh, yeah, you have your Dak. One, two, water will be a W. And then so now we have.
I have a bag of DAC.
Oh, yeah.
You have your DAC.
One, two, three, four, five.
Should we spin the wheel at the end and somebody has to have a DAC as well?
All right.
So come take this.
Is Sam back there still?
Sam, can you please number these?
I'm just going to put the DAC in with these.
Can you number these with a pen what's your dac
or the dac is good and then just keep it out there hold on he's gonna throw his dac or give
it back to tj this is gonna be a tough one boys oh man okay what do you straight meat maybe
that's what I'm thinking
I'm gonna get crazy
Also don't forget
Don't sleep on the fact
That you don't want a bad color
Yeah
I might take color first
Yellow
That's a very important
Part of the trap
One one
Yellow
You don't wanna fuck that up
Alright if the wheel lands on you first
You have to take color
Like one one
Yeah one one has to take color first They 1-1? Yeah, 1-1 has to take
color first. They're still fighting.
They're still fighting in the chat.
Really? They're fighting the good fight.
They are playing great defense. I know, I just pulled it up
and there was just... But the guy is still
spamming the slur. It's more accounts.
Shout out the chat. Every 20 minutes it's a new account.
I just saw that... I just pulled it up
and someone was like,
we got lazy there guys, we to get back on our game.
They're fighting the good fight.
Titus is in a battle right now, too.
Yeah.
It's a one-point game.
I am well aware, TJ.
Titus?
What's going on?
Brandon.
Brandon, do you need to remove yourself to go watch that?
I actually might.
You can.
You lose one of your picks.
That's not a bad thing.
You gain an extra pick.
You can go and you'll lose a pick.
What's the score?
We're down one.
We went on a 16-0 run.
We're three for 20 from the three-point line.
It's just right over there. three-point line. It's just
right over there.
It's the under-4 timeout.
Would you like me to go
watch and I'll verbalize?
I'm watching right now. Oh, then you're fine.
Let's know how it goes.
We got it.
There's his score right there.
Oh, just took the lead.
For my first pick, can I take his phone?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
What?
What are you doing?
Nothing.
This is our worst ingredients yet.
Yep, by far.
By far.
My stomach hurts.
I'm excited.
Where's the blender?
But yeah, I do think that because this is a different draft word snow cones we can
you don't have to go crazy with your ingredients you just gotta get to a syrup just make it a
syrup that's it yep all right all right um and you know what we could even do we could even blend
over in the kitchen and wash it out after yeah it doesn't get so gross we'll do that remember
the smell of the last one yeah we, we'll blend in the kitchen.
Yeah.
Everyone can remove themselves, blend.
You can watch everyone put it together.
Is a blender needed?
Yeah.
To get to the syrup.
I thought you said we don't need it because we have a snow cone maker.
Wait, you didn't bring it?
No, I put it back at my house because you said that we needed a... I said we needed it.
Snow cone.
But then you said you got a snow cone maker, so we're all good.
No.
Why do you think we're going to pour onto snow cones?
No.
We're just going to have to smash it up with like a hammer.
Are you serious, Steven?
Yes.
Put the hammer.
I texted this morning.
I said, do you need it?
You said, yes.
I left my house with it.
Then I had to drop something back off my house.
I dropped the blender off because you said you got a snow cone maker.
We're all good.
No, the snow cone was after the blender.
You were the one that said yesterday, Brandon, that I don't need a blender.
Went to second target, snow cone machine secured.
I never said don't bring the blender.
You said the last text you sent was I have a blender with me.
Yeah, and I dropped it off because you said you had the snow cone maker.
You went back to drop your blender off.
Johnny's probably got a blender.
I had to drop some.
Johnny has to have a blender.
Yeah, there's a blender in there.
There has to be a blender.
Sorry, I thought the snow cone maker meant we were...
I also thought it was liquid draft.
Didn't you bring non-liquids?
For the most part, it can be smushed into a liquid.
Okay.
Okay.
Apologies.
That's okay.
Don't make the draft order a big thing or a long thing.
No, I think we should spin the wheel.
Spin the wheel.
And what's greedy?
That's the only question.
Greedy is when you have all your ingredients.
Yeah, but what is the punishment?
Maybe suicides?
Wet is fine.
You'd rather get wet than suicides?
No.
What was greedy last time?
I think I'd rather get wet.
What was greedy last time?
Add it more.
Extra ingredient.
I think greedy should be exponential suicides.
You got to get wet and then go outside, stand outside for a while. I think it should be exponential suicide. You got to get wet and then go outside, stand outside for a while.
I think it should be exponential suicide.
So you get one, then you get two, then you get four, then you get 16.
Yep.
Oh.
Yep.
I know.
Y'all don't want to run.
No.
What's after 16?
30?
No.
32.
You're doing.
32.
Is that exponential?
Okay.
16 squared is. Wait, exponential is when... 32. Is that exponential? Okay. 16 squared is...
Wait, exponential is when it doubles every time, right?
16...
Oh, boy.
Wait, what is 16...
Exponential could be anything.
The exponent is the number, the little number.
It doubles every time.
1, 2, 4, 6...
No, 240?
256.
I don't think it goes from 4 to 16.
It goes from 4 to 8 to 16.
4 squared. 4, 8 to 16. 4 squared.
4, 8, 16.
Are you on a double?
Double it.
That's exponents, Brandon.
Doubling is not exponents.
Doubling, doubling.
Yeah, but I was right.
A double is not an exponent.
Exponential.
But it should be double, not exponential.
We're not going to run thousands.
Fine, but then we have to start at 2, not 1.
2, 4, 8, 16, 32.
Okay.
64.
Okay.
64 suicides.
No, that's a lot of greedy.
You want to do threes?
Threes.
Half court, you got to make that many half courts?
What?
Oh.
I like that much better. Okay. You have to make eight half court shots, okay you shoot until you make you have to make
eight half court shots and you shoot until you make eight half yeah let's do exponential threes
you can do x exponential threes would rock yeah i'm down for someone to be here during the game
sure yeah exponential three fine fine yeah starting with what one okay okay two four sixteen oh two hundred and
two four fifty six sixteen if you get past 256 you're just you're never leaving you have to make
256 yeah 256 you get to the next one 256 times 256 65 i like that. I can knock it. Okay. Yeah, that's a good greedy.
Yeah, that's a good greedy.
Fuck it.
That's thrilling if we get past 16.
If it's 16 threes total, I'm going to be here until the game.
Until after the game.
That took me a while.
I can hardly move my body.
Okay.
Did you go to Hibachi last night?
Yeah.
Who'd you sit by?
Us. I ran solos. at the whole table to myself the chef was pissed solos hibachi the thing is nobody else i was at
benihana i ran solos oh my god no it was a date night but i uh the whole table yeah you believed I went to Benny alone. Yes. You sent a picture. I did, yeah.
Do we have a blender?
We should go check.
Steven, you want to go check?
I feel like we should figure it out. We just pound it into a syrup.
I mean, you can't pound it.
Yes, you can.
Have you ever heard of mortar and pestle, you fool?
You're going to get that deli meat into a syrup?
Yes.
Because someone had a good idea in the chat.
If we don't have a blender. Grind it. Because someone had a good idea in the chat.
If we don't have a blender.
Grind it.
We could do a roll-up blender.
Oh, have somebody roll up with their blender?
Yeah, everybody's off work. How about, yeah, if you got a blender, bring it now.
No, no, no, no.
Oh, yeah.
I'm calling to arms.
Come bring your blender.
Let's see if we have a blender.
Let's see if we have a blender.
Barstool Barstool is just freaking out right now being like
fuck it off he'll sneak one in it'll be brand new be like dude did you just buy this
what is that what's what stefan doing oh shit these guys still here yeah who are they serving
is anyone even here eating no i feel everyone at lunch yeah everybody did eat what is he doing stefan looks
like he's setting up like a high school band karaoke why is everyone wearing memphis gear
yeah somebody handed you a memphis hat this morning yeah i got memphis free memphis stuff
too where'd this come i like their logo i think uh i don't know if the the the one of the memphis
guys visited the office or what but i had a signed helmet on my desk. Yeah, they helped
us out with the storm chases
last year. The guy was in town, so he
just brought a bunch of stuff for you guys.
That's a very... Shout out to Jake.
That's a very big
garment Jerry's wearing.
Yeah.
It's almost a muumuu.
Damn near a muumuu. Damn near a muumuu. We near a moo moo. Damn near a moo moo.
We got one, Che.
We got one?
Nice.
All right, we got a blender.
All right, good.
No roll-up blender needed.
We should have realized that Donnie definitely has a blender.
Yeah, you'd think.
We have a giant kitchen, yeah.
And let's just not tell Donnie what we did with this.
There might be a snow cone maker over there.
No.
So how do we, do we have to set that up at all?
You just put ice in the top, and then you get your little cup, and you get the ice underneath, and it shreds it.
And then you just drizzle.
Yeah, and then you drizzle your syrup on top.
So everyone will go blend, maybe put it into a cup.
Yeah.
And you got to, I'm excited.
I am too.
Snow cone draft.
The perfect day for it.
Okay.
So, spin the wheels now.
Last question before we do this.
Any no pie dues?
Uh, yeah.
I think you ruined the surprise.
I think we were all just going to firebomb each other with them.
How are we doing no pie dues?
Fucking A.
Is it no pie don't?
Cause you wouldn't want to take one of these ingredients would you some of them yeah um all right so this nope i do is it's a little bit different than the
traditional nope i do uh everybody gets one so let's but you have to do the nope i do before
let's say i get the pick somebody can nope i do my pick and they get it. You say what letter you're taking. And then at the same time you have to say,
nah,
nevermind.
Um,
I don't know how to do it.
You have to say,
nah,
nevermind.
No,
no.
Yeah.
No,
just put no by do on the wheel.
Yes.
That'll be in place to steal.
So if nobody do hits,
then we just wheel again.
Whoever lands on gets a nobody.
It's a one.
Nope.
I do.
Yeah.
Okay.
I like that. That's very easy. That's very straightforward. hits then we just wheel again whoever lands on gets a no buy gets a one nope i do yeah okay i
like that that's very easy that's very straightforward so there's five items you're
selecting anything over five before someone else gets how many starts the greedy everybody has to
have one ingredient two ingredients before greedy? Two ingredients? Yeah. So greedy stops it.
Or no, how did we do it in the past?
I think we did it once.
How do we know?
Everyone has it?
Yeah.
All right.
But that's like, somebody's going to end up doing 250 threes.
Okay.
Yeah, fuck it.
Okay.
Oh, fuck.
Wait, two, one, two. I think I should just double, not exponential. Wait. One, two.
I think I should just double, not exponential.
Four, 16.
Yeah.
That's four greedies.
That's a lot of greedies.
No one gets more than four greedies.
You've gotten like six on your own.
I have, yeah.
Take it back immediately.
All right, so we'll cap the greedies at five.
Okay.
The most you could have is 256 three points.
Yes.
65,000 three points.
Because it goes to 65,000.
I really want someone to get 256.
After 65,000, it goes to like 400 billion.
I want someone to get 256 so bad.
400 billion?
I'm trying to think how long 256 would take.
If someone gets 256, we should just make them do it tomorrow.
We'll close the doors.
Yep.
Just have them shoot threes for the entire show in the bottom right corner.
And the entire day.
Yeah.
Can someone, is one a minute realistic?
No.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No.
Made threes?
Yeah.
You have a rebound.
I think you can get better.
Chase said he could do it in an hour.
One a minute.
Hour?
One a minute's bad.
I just could probably do it in like a half hour.
Hour 15?
I don't think that's unreasonable.
One a minute would be 450. You could make 250. I think you could probably do it in like a half hour. Hour 15? I don't think that's unreasonable. One minute would be four hours.
I'd make five.
In an hour?
You could.
Yeah.
Jay, no, you couldn't.
I think he could.
I don't think that's real.
Two 56 in an hour is how much per minute?
You get tired.
Jay's a decent shooter.
Yeah.
No, that's four plus a minute.
One every 20 seconds.
Shea just might have to do this.
Maybe, I guess.
Do you have a rebounder is the question.
Of course.
Do you just want to do it, Shea?
No.
Okay.
Do you want to do the 65,000?
Oh, fuck.
Hell no.
Oh, no.
Michigan's going to win.
I knew they were.
Buckeye Brandon loses again.
How does this come to me?
You're the
Ohio State basketball guy.
That's true.
Should we do this? Yeah, let's fucking do it.
I'm nervous. I'm excited.
I'm nervous. If it lands on you
1-1, you have to take color.
1-2. 1- two is the pick you want okay okay it's a good rule all right
oh we're just adding and we just accept it yeah whatever rule happens we're like yeah
all right no one one i'm excited we haven't done a draft in a while no
oh look at that fucking nope I do.
Yeah, we haven't done... When was the last time we did a draft?
November? First day here.
Ruined the studio.
Here we go.
What was that one?
It was gross.
Mark Titus.
You're going to take a color. What color is he going to take?
There's a lime green and a Kelly green.
There's neon and traditional.
Purple.
Purple.
Who said that?
No idea.
Oh, wow.
Purple.
Purple.
What with purple? It's a color of royalty. Oh, wow. Purple. Purple. What with purple?
It's the color of royalty.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah.
All right.
1-1.
Great pick, 1-1.
Great pick.
Great pick.
That was huge.
I like where I'm at.
So, so far, Mark has purple.
The color purple.
And Zah, you can take any ingredient you want.
What's catching your eye?
Remember, if you touch it, it's yours.
Let's trick him into touching it.
Feel how heavy that salmon is, Zah.
Be careful with the salmon.
It's a lot of salmon.
Can you open the salmon, Zaha?
Can you open that?
Open it so the camera can see it.
The salmon.
He touched it.
He touched it.
That's your pick.
He didn't even flinch.
I think he wanted the salmon.
Why are you cool with this?
I was way too cool about that.
Oh, man.
I feel real bad.
Yeah, me too.
He reversed that on us.
Yeah, what the?
Zod just wants a salmon snow cone.
Damn it.
I want to talk to the talk about it guys, too.
Oh. Oh.
Zod.
Oh.
Zaha. Zaha.
Zaha, open that turkey real quick.
No way.
That turkey's way too heavy.
Nobody can lift that.
I think because we did that to Zaha, he gets one nothing happens on a greedy.
Yeah.
You get one nothing happens on a greedy Zaha.
Oh. What is happening? He's fucking crazy right now. nothing happens on a greedy zone. Yeah. You get one nothing happens on a greedy zone. Oh!
He's fucking crazy right now.
He's just hungry as hell
right now.
What the fuck was that?
He's got salmon and McNugget.
He only took one.
He took one?
I think Zah's doing
what Zah wants to do.
We don't have to take
a greedy away.
You're right.
He's living large right now.
How you feeling, Zah?
I love where I'm at.
Zaha!
No way!
Zaha!
So far, he has S and N.
What's this sick fuck going to do now?
He's going to go turkey.
He's going to shoot 50,000 free throws.
Well, he gets a bonus greedy that does not count because of the salmon trick.
All right, so what's going to pair well with nuggets and salmon?
You keep saying trick.
I think he tricked us.
What's he doing?
What's this man got up his sleeve?
I think he's going to go turkey.
You can take color.
I would go liquid so you can blend it up hey what's he doing diving on the sword today's your day man oh god damn all right God damn. All right.
Yeah.
I mean, thanks to Zaha.
That helped us.
A lot easier for us.
No way.
No.
No way.
Wait.
Oh.
Oh.
Crazy.
Man, Titus was really stupid for picking the color first.
Yeah, he shouldn't have done purple. Really dumb.
The big draft bust.
Tried to get sexy with the pick.
Yeah, but he did get purple.
Yeah.
Steven?
Watermelon's a good choice.
That's good.
It's a logical pick that's good the logical pick good pick sorry zah could have went
strawberry watermelon he could have been living great orange juice yeah be chilling make a smoothie
yeah he's a dog though okay Jeez
Damn it
What's happening with the wheel?
Wheel is tilted
Huh
So Zaha has salmon
McNuggets
Mayo
Mayo
Che has watermelon
And his pick
And Titus has
What do you have Titus?
I have purple.
I have the color.
I have purple.
Color purple.
Oh, man.
What a pick.
Nesquik.
Nesquik.
Why?
With watermelon?
There's fruit-infused beverages.
Did he bring both of those?
You could have gone fruit-heavy.
You could have went. Did he bring both of those? He fruit ingredients. Fruit infused beverages. Yeah, he's taking both of those. You could have gone fruit heavy. You could have went.
All right.
Did he bring both of those?
He touched it.
Touched it.
You already have it.
Vanilla.
Key lime juice.
Yeah.
I didn't see key lime juice.
Huge mess.
Gonna pick strawberries.
Yep.
Is there key lime juice?
Yes.
Yeah.
Huh.
We need some fresh blood.
Yeah.
Bad.
Alright, I'm up.
There's an obvious...
I don't think the 1-1's been taken yet.
No purple.
No, purple I guess was everybody's 1-1.
It's gonna be a good-ass cone.
Purple had raw talent.
Yeah. It's going to be a good-ass cone. Purple had a raw talent. Yeah.
Where's your head at?
There's an obvious choice there.
Is there?
Yes.
I don't know if there is.
I'll take water.
That's a fucking punt.
Is that bad?
Yeah.
Is that a bad pick?
God, horrible.
I think it's a shitty pick. I've made my own head about drafts ever since the incident with Will.
I think it's fine.
Water's a bad pick.
I just am thirsty.
Wait, that was a draft.
Oh, yeah, we did do a draft.
That was a team draft, yeah.
Yeah, that was Thanksgiving.
That was your water that was already open?
Mm-hmm.
If someone else got it, we were...
Yeah, I'm just thirsty.
I just wanted it.
Probably a bad pick, okay?
Just get off my back.
Water goes with everything, though.
Oh, no, Che.
Come on, give me one.
Keep going.
I want Che to do the threes.
All right, so Che has Watermelon and Nesquik.
So, N and
W. He needs his O
and his S.
Yep, that's the 1-1.
That was the clear 1-1.
There's a lot of disgusting S's.
The spam is scaring
the fuck out of me.
I don't know.
Sprite would be pretty good.
That's it.
How was the 1-1?
Gummies?
Gummies isn't bad.
Compared to strawberries,
though?
The mouthwash will
kill you.
It's all...
I don't think strawberries
is the 1-1 at all.
I think purple
is the 1-1.
Which is why I took it.
KB.
Let's go, KB.
Big pick.
Big pick.
Big pick.
Orange juice. orange juice
got OJ Mayo out of here
Milwaukee Bucks
give me me
so this next person gets a nope I do whenever they want
whenever they want they don't have to use it right away
And it's on active picks
Yep
KB
Beautiful
Nope I do
So you have to do the nope I do
When someone's picking it
When they take their pick
So it has to be an action reaction
Can't be like after the whole draft's over.
I can do it whenever though.
Yep.
Right.
But they have to be picking and then you say nope I do.
Got it.
Also we should make it clear that you have to do a nope I do.
Have to.
So that way if you get a nope I do at the end you can get screwed.
Right.
Yep.
Yeah.
You can get fucked because you have to eat your whole snow cone if you don't have a nope
I do.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. No. Yeah.
No, yes.
You speak with such authority.
But his rules are just like, I respect Nick's rules.
Thank you.
And now another nope-I-do.
This could get testy.
I hope Kyle just gets loaded up with nope-I-dos.
What's a boy to do with that?
He'll have maybe too many ingredients.
Oh.
Wait. I think this is a skins game where it's... Chase many ingredients. Oh. Wait.
I think this is a skins game where...
Chase got it. Nope. I do.
Double I do. Double I do.
Somebody gets a double I do.
Hold on. Double?
Exponential.
If it hits again, it should be.
It should be four. Yeah, you get four.
If it hits right now.
Oh, fuck. This is bad then.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm ready for it to hit no-buy-do again.
Oh, come on.
Oh.
Brandon.
No-buy-do?
He's got four.
Four no-buy-do.
No, he's got two.
He's got two.
Oh, yeah.
Because it went one to two.
You have two no-buy-dos.
Okay.
Yeah, that's good.
Good job, Brandon.
Now, if it lands on me, do I want to take something shitty so he doesn't steal it?
Right.
You want to take something mean?
Wait.
Yeah.
What?
When it lands on them, then you say nope, I do.
When they're picking their pick, you say nope, I do.
And you can't nope, I do and nope, I do, can you?
No, you can reverse it.
Okay.
If Brandon says nope, I do, Kyle can say nope, I do, but then Brandon can also say no bye to you yes too oh shit but it did land on you kyle right yeah so which actually
be a good way to burn it i'm gonna i think this is smart um
spongebob fuck no oh yeah i knew you wanted that sprite i I think the Sprite is the
god damn it
fuck yeah I actually now that I'm thinking
about it I should have taken the Spongebob
instead of the water yeah man
the water was awful and Brandon's gonna
nope I do the Sprite
fuck
that water was bad
oh man I'm
finally figuring out the error of my ways.
Yeah.
There's already water in the snow cone.
And you're going to want something to mask the flavor.
You just got more.
I just saw the water and I was like, I'm thirsty.
It looked good.
It looked damn good.
Damn.
Fuck.
I need a nope-i-do to get myself out of this.
Next person gets four, right?
Oh, finally.
No, it has to be consecutive.
So it'd be like the only reason it went to two was it went back to back.
When you nope I do, do you have to trade your?
Obviously.
Nope I do.
Yeah.
Yeah, I told you.
And now Mook's turn's done.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, that was easy.
Why did you do that?
I thought I would get to pick after.
Wait, I think you still get...
We're going to have an extra item if he doesn't pick.
No, Brandon got his ass.
But what about Mook?
Oh, yeah.
That was just like the wheel hit Brandon.
Yeah.
Fuck.
That's all.
Okay.
But now what do we fucking do?
What Brandon, using your no buyi-dos, could get greedy.
Oh.
You've now.
Yeah.
I mean, I've only used one.
I know.
I'm just giving you something to think about.
Mook, I'm glad you did that for the good of all of us.
I'm not.
Yeah, sure.
Let's have it land on my name maybe.
All right. This is his last pick? No, he's got one more after this. I'm not. Yeah, sure. Let's have it land on my name maybe.
All right, Zaha.
This is his last pick?
No, he's got one more after this.
What do you have so far?
Salmon?
He's picked three.
Oh, there's five picks.
There's five.
Oh, yeah.
W in color.
Purple's taken from color.
Nobody's taken any.
Oh, no.
Water's been taken Water
Watermelon was taken too
Can you drink mouthwash?
Yeah man
Why are you so freaked out
About the mouthwash?
Oh it's toothpaste
That's poisonous
You also don't have to use it
That's also not poisonous
What the fuck?
Why would it be poisonous?
I thought if you ate toothpaste
Do you realize how many people would die every year?
I saw this.
Just think about it rationally, man.
I thought if we all put it in our mouth every day.
Yeah, but I thought if you ate it.
Yeah, but why would they put it in your mouth and kill you?
Because it's that good for you.
What?
You could go take a tube of toothpaste and just eat it right now.
And just chug toothpaste.
Probably get a tummy ache.
I don't think we could say that online.
No, let's do the Brandon Walker challenge.
Brandon challenges everybody out there to eat a tube of toothpaste.
There's definitely a warning on the back that says, like,
if you eat too much, contact poison control.
Okay.
Yes.
If you eat a little bit, you're not going to die instantly.
I'm so mad at myself.
Okay.
Zaw's got, like got a charcuterie board.
Wait, what did he put?
He's got salami and wine.
You kind of do this every time.
I know. You're not a good drafter.
I get flustered in the moment.
There's a lot of pressure.
And I was thirsty.
Oh.
This this this it's no by do's sit yep titus has a no by do. So there's three out there?
I'm just going to take all the colors.
That's my strategy.
Yeah.
Yeah, you could trade your purple if you're having second thoughts.
Yep.
So who has no pie dos?
Kyle, Brandon has one, Titus has one.
Fuck.
No.
Come on, man.
Okay.
I'm so dumb.
I'm going to get fucked.
That's a touch.
No, it's not his turn.
It's not my turn.
Oh.
It's an illegal touch.
You have to eat them all now.
Che, what do you got so far?
I need an O and a color.
I have water.
Only needs an O and a color. I have watermelon. Only needs an O and a color.
Oh, Che is chilling.
There's no way that orange will be good with nuts.
I'd probably take the olives, to be honest.
Turkey?
Turkey?
Compared to what?
Wait, you got a...
Nope, I do.
Oh, he lost the OJ.
Wow.
Huge.
Damn, you have orange and purple now.
Yeah.
Whoa.
All right, so only Brandon and KB have no by-dos now.
All right, that feels good.
And you can only use it on a letter that you don't have, right?
No, if you have a letter, you can trade your letter.
You can nope-i-do and put it back in the pile.
That was the only thing I was going to note, Jay.
Nick, do you have nothing?
I have nothing.
Okay.
You want a donut for the juice?
I have water.
Basically nothing.
No, I wanted the Fanta.
Fair.
I wanted the I wanted the Fanta fair I wanted the soda
Jesus Christ
is that greed
no it's the color
I think the wheel's broken
no it's not greedy
that's his last pick though right
his last pick
but also remember
because of the salmon incident
he gets a free greedy
right
so his greedy doesn't start
till the one after that
so help me God if he takes green.
What color does he want to see?
Green.
Oh, he's got it.
Traditional.
All right.
So Zach, once you get the mic, can you tell us your whole ingredients?
Zach has to be sitting here with the best one ever.
Yeah. He could have had a good ass snow cone yeah all right so strategy was uh go protein heavy for my for my s for my s i've got uh some omega-3 some quality protein uh coming from some salmon. The N, what is my N? N is the nugget, chicken nugget.
O is the olive oil mayo.
And W is the wine.
And it's going to be a green little...
That's going to be so bad.
Snow cone.
So the nuggets don't need to be out there
because they've been picked already.
Yeah.
Sure.
You can eat them, Brandon.
Thanks.
You want to eat those?
Those are from Hamburger University, so those are the best of the best.
I do want to try one.
There you go.
There you go.
There you go.
This might seem crazy.
Coming out of that suit.
It's getting hot.
I feel like this will mask everything else.
Oh, I know where he's going.
You get what I...
Oh!
That's...
I wanted that bad. That might work. That's poison. I wanted that bad. he's going. You get what I... Oh. That's... I wanted that bad.
That might work.
That's poison.
I wanted that bad.
You're going to die.
I guess this is goodbye, man.
Yeah.
It's been real.
It's all the other ones are meat, and then it's too late.
I'm going to get disgusting shit.
This will at least mask it, right?
Yeah, at least do it.
I don't think it'll taste horrible blended.
No.
It's minty.
No.
Okay.
It's no water, but.
It's no water.
That water is going to be like the top note of your snow cone.
Oh, does this taste like fucking water?
Is there ice in this snow cone?
Uh-oh.
And we go.
All right, that's a free one, Za.
All right, you got lucky this time.
Oh, yeah.
Za.
How many threes can you hit, Zah?
Well, I don't think I've ever hit one in my life.
He's going to have to do 200.
Nikki.
All right.
We'll just not like you right now.
Yeah, do it, Nick.
You're thinking it.
We're all thinking it.
Let's talk about it.
Toothpaste and OJ.
Go ahead.
Milk. Milk.
He dinked us there.
Coffee.
Coffee and mouth?
Okay.
Look at the S pile.
It's bad.
Spam, chili, and salami.
I had to take the scope.
I think you're right. You avoided a bad S. I don't think the chili is that bad. Spam, chili, and salami. I had to take the scope. I think you're right.
You avoided a bad S.
I don't think the chili is that bad.
I feel like it is.
What letter is the coffee?
Nitro, so N.
N.
Come on.
Come on.
Hey.
Let's go.
I'm in trouble. Come on. Come on. Hey. Let's go. Hmm.
All right.
I'm in trouble.
I've gotten myself back in trouble.
I feel like you just have to avoid that.
I don't want the spam.
Right.
But if...
But...
The spam's actually going to be easy.
Just get the steakhouse chili. Yeah. Good move. Yeah, easy. Just get the steakhouse chili.
Yeah, good move.
Yeah, you got to get the steakhouse chili.
Great pick.
What are y'all doing?
I don't understand, Brandon.
I don't understand that.
What do you mean?
What should I have gotten instead?
Something good, at least.
One good thing.
No, it's already over.
It's already over.
Steakhouse chili with beans.
Is that your only pick so far?
Yep.
Good so far.
I'm never getting another pick.
I'm water cursed.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I made that pick.
I can't do the spam.
The spam freaks me out.
What is it about spam?
I don't know what it is.
It's pretty good.
No.
The oat milk.
Oat milk.
Okay.
I see what you're doing.
That's a good, yeah.
You have like a peppermint Starbucks drink right now.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Okay.
No nope-i-dos on the oat milk?
Pretty good base.
Fools.
Shit.
Fuck.
All right, Titus.
What's going to go with purple and orange?
Oh!
What was it?
Was it me?
Oh!
Yeah.
Dude, you should take red.
I just wanted to avoid all meat.
How disgusting are
what were your mystery items, Kyle? What's the
DAC? The DAC is good.
It's all like fruity things.
Lime. Nope, I do.
Titus has
a lime, right? Damn.
No, he took it from Jay. You lost your pick.
Yeah, I took mine from Jay. You don't get to pick it.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
Bummer.
So, Kyle, what do you have?
Brutal.
Orange juice, lime juice, and fruit.
You have a good draft.
Oh, wow.
He's got a great draft.
What letter is the lime juice?
M.
N.
Oh, okay.
I don't know why.
Brand, maybe?
Oh, Nelly and Joe's.
Yeah.
Okay.
Ugh. I don't know why Brand maybe Nelly and Joe's Yeah Ugh Zero Degrees
would have been the longest draft of all time
Yeah, too long
Uh oh, 3D
Just makes one
That's absurd if it landed on him so much
I know
So now the next is 2 That's absurd if it landed on him so much. I know.
So now the next is two?
Yeah.
Technically one to the second power is one, right?
Yeah.
Sure.
No, caveat.
Wasn't it one?
Oh, yeah.
I don't know math.
Oh.
Oh, my God. Two threes.
There's got to be something wrong.
Two threes. It is. Two threes. There's got to be something wrong. Two threes.
It is.
Two threes for Zod.
No.
I mean, it's broken.
Four threes.
Four threes for Zod.
Is that nine times?
Zod, this is crazy.
What is happening?
What is going on right now?
At least you have an all-meat snow cone to enjoy.
What the fuck?
It's not all bad.
Okay.
Is Che almost greedy?
Yeah.
Zaha, if you get a nope-I-do, you can say nope-I-do to three.
Oh, I didn't pick it.
So that's your out, Zah.
Gotcha.
How many are still out there?
Brandon, you have one?
I think I've got the only one out there right now.
Yeah, that's it?
Yeah.
So, Zah, if you get, yeah, that's your out.
You're going to root for nope-I-do to hit you,
and then you can nope-I-do all your threes.
He's thinking.
No-bye-do.
Damn. OJ.
Good use.
Nice snag.
Brandon's coming out looking
good right now.
OJ and Sprite.
There are clear winners and clear losers of this draft right now.
Yeah.
As long as you've got two or three decent.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're right.
Am I a loser?
Well, you got the water.
Remains the same.
Sit, please.
Just sitting with this water is really giving me some regrets.
So we have onion powder.
Olives and oven roasted turkey.
Oven roasted turkey.
Right.
What are the pros and cons, you think?
Just classic.
I got to go with the watermelon.
Yeah. Fuck. You can no buy do it. Everybody's out. classic I gotta go with the watermelon yeah fuck
random
you can no-buy do it
no
everybody's out
I thought you
used both of yours
there's no no-buy do's out there
oh you only had one
yeah
we use every no-buy do
shit
I'm liking my concoction right now Okay
Brandon I'll trade you purple for Sprite
My last
Weet-in
Wow you went hard for the Weet-in
Oh I don't know
Interesting
So my final is
Well you don't have a final yet
You don't have a color
Oh I didn't take a color
Shit
That might change the whole thing
Yeah
I'm really mad at myself
Now
Somebody gets a nope I do Now.
Okay.
Somebody gets a nope I do.
What's the N with the blue top?
What's the blue top thing?
Nuts.
Wasabi.
Yeah, wasabi nuts. Wasabi almonds.
Okay.
But it's nuts, N.
Not O.
Brandon gets a nope I do.
Oh, I don't think I do.
Yeah, you do.
Oh, I do.
Yeah.
That's the only way I'm getting stuff.
All right.
Big Cat, what are you thinking, man?
I'm fucked so hard.
What do you have so far?
Water.
Oh, no, buddy.
No, no.
Greed?
Jay, do you have everything?
That might be his color. Yeah. I might just go color next. Oh, no. Greed? Shay, do you have everything? It might be his color.
Yeah.
I might just go color next.
Oh, no.
He needs the O because he didn't get the color.
Shay's had two things taken from him.
Yeah.
What do you lack?
Okay.
I thought you picked OJ.
He did.
Oh, that was...
Are you really...
Turkey.
Oh, wow.
You want turkey?
I think I'd rather go olive.
This is really depressing.
Screwed.
We're going to get mook.
You and I have olives or onion powder.
Who still needs an S?
I need everything except water.
Is that the all-time worst pick?
It might be.
No, whatever you did last time.
I choke.
I choke.
You choke every time.
I choke so hard.
You have no identity when it comes to building what you want.
I don't know what I was doing.
Remember our draft last time?
Oh, yours was good.
How masterful it was?
Oh, yeah.
It could be transcendent.
Kyle might have the best draft ever in the history of the show today.
Yeah, I need one more to close it out.
You need the warhead cubes.
And you've got to survive all the trades.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, fuck.
Well, yeah, we're going to do two ingredient swaps.
When did we decide that?
You've got to survive the trades.
Looks like Nicky is going to have a yellow snow cone.
Frank Zappa.
Yellow.
What is your full thing?
Yellow snow cone, mouthwash, nitro cold brew, oat milk, and wheat thins.
It's not going to be bad.
Delicious. It'll be like a minty coffee. milk, and wheat thins. It's not going to be bad. Delicious.
It'll be like a minty coffee.
Okay.
With wheat thins.
Better survive the trades.
Wheat.
Oh, wait.
I can't eat those.
That's one of the more gluten things.
Yeah.
Oh, fuck.
I'm going to get sick.
Figure it out.
Oh.
Che.
Che.
Che.
So, Che.
You can just say your color.
I'm so fucked.
Pink, orange, blue, red, or green?
You really?
Let's go red for my box.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's go red for my box.
Let's go red for my box.
You guys don't think mine's going to be good?
It's going to taste like...
No, yours is Thin Mint.
Not really.
I think yours is going to be awesome.
But you don't have chili, so I don't know.
Are we all just glossing over the fact that Big Cat just added trades twice because his...
Trades, yeah.
We always do trades.
No, no, no.
You just added trades.
We always do trades.
Added trades like we weren't going to notice. No, we trade full teams. We always do trades. No, no, no. You just added trades. We always do trades. Added trades like we weren't going to notice.
No, we trade full teams.
We always do trades.
You didn't add trades until the draft.
How many times have we done these drafts?
How many times have we done trades?
You didn't add trades until the draft was going against you.
Have we not done trades every time?
That's what the no-buy dues were for.
Get your hot dogs.
Yeah, what do you do here vanilla
yep that's the right salami's the right move that's the right so who ends up with spam
salami and water i haven't uh titus has do you have spam yeah do i just take it uh yeah how do
we do that no no because you gotta wait to wait the wait yeah you gotta wait and you gotta wait
for your trades we're not letting you get away with this
No I'm down to do like a full team trade
If it lands on you you have to trade with the next person
If it lands on full team
Alright
So I get in
What goes with spam
What goes with spam and purple
The great culinary mysteries of our time.
Yeah, I mean, no shit.
We're going nuggets.
No!
Those are decoys.
Decoy nuggets.
How did you not realize those were decoy nuggets?
Go ahead and give me one, though.
Dude, I've had those for a while.
Those are literally the fakest nuggets ever.
Oh, those aren't real nuggets?
Yeah, they're real.
But they're decoy nuggets.
Decoy nuggets.
You got got by decoy nuggets, Titus.
Chocolate.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
So orange and chocolate.
I think this is just going to overpower everything, and that's my plan.
Yeah, you won't taste the spam in there whatsoever.
It's just all chocolate.
God damn it.
Is this greedy one for him?
That's one for me. One three.
One three for Chad.
My bucks. Red for my bucks. Red for my bucks. Red for my bucks. Red for my bucks.
Red for my bucks.
Red for my bucks.
Red for my bucks.
Red for my bucks.
Red for my bucks.
Come on.
There you go, Mook.
There we go.
All right.
There you go, Mook.
Time to cook.
Time to cook.
So what do you have?
I have steakhouse chili.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
You can build off that. What's that little bottle? Vanilla. Van chili. Okay. All right. All right. You can build off that.
What's that little bottle?
Vanilla.
Vanilla.
Oh.
Well, hot dogs, little onions.
Onion powder.
I really don't want the dogs.
Worcestershire.
Wasabi almonds.
Okay.
That's a crazy pick.
I don't want the dogs pick right there.
You could have taken the vanilla extract.
Hot dogs and chili.
That would be gross.
Hot dogs and chili?
That would be disgusting.
Those go together at all?
Oh, yuck.
Oh, you're right.
Dude, good call, Book.
Can you imagine?
You're making a classic Chicago almond dog.
Worry about your own draft.
Worry about your own draft.
Chili and hot dogs.
That makes no sense.
I don't like hot dogs.
Raw dogs.
They freak me out.
Oh, we're back.
Go again.
We're back.
Okay.
O or W?
Olives and onion powder, Worcestershire sauce, or Warheads?
I have a way I can save my draft.
No, you don't.
Yeah, the traits.
Oh, the traits.
No, I actually have a path right now.
Who has a nope I do?
No one, right? Brandon might. Brandon has a nope-I-do? No one, right?
Brandon might.
Brandon has one.
Sneak.
What is that?
Do you have a nope-I-do?
I have a nope-I-do.
And what do you have right now?
S and O?
Uh-huh.
You're kind of screwed still.
I have a path.
I have a path.
You guys don't.
I have a path.
I have a direct path.
You have a direct path.
Mm-hmm.
Fuck. It's Warheads. Warheads are too sour for him. And it's vanilla. Oh, I might be path. I have a direct path. You have a direct path. Mm-hmm. Fuck.
It's Warheads.
Warheads are too sour for him.
And it's Vanilla.
Oh, I might be fucked.
No, it's Vanilla.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he wants Vanilla and Warheads.
He wants Vanilla and Warheads.
You want some Vanilla more.
That's what he wants.
No, no, because I think you want Warheads real bad, Kyle.
Real bad.
Yeah.
I picked because I didn't want the Warheads.
Wow.
Oh, bring it right back.
Kyle wins the draft.
Bring it right back.
If it stops.
Mook.
Last ingredient.
Onion powder.
Okay.
I'll be digging salami with my olives.
That'll be fine.
And water.
So, Titus, you have spam and...
Yeah.
No problem. I got spam and chocolate you have Spam and chocolate chips.
Spam, chocolate chips, orange soda, and watermelon drink. Purple.
Purple.
Hopefully the purple overpowers.
I'm going to dump all my food coloring.
Yeah, you got to.
Yes. Brando You motherfucker
What you got?
There's his path
There's his path
So who's getting hot dogs?
Me
I'm hot dogs? Me.
I have hot dogs and water.
I really need the wheel to stop on me so I can at least get a good color.
It's imperative.
You taking water, that pick is like if the Bears take a woman.
It's the worst pick ever.
Ever.
Nope, I do. Ever. A nope-I-do.
Ever.
This could send somebody to greed.
If Brandon gets his nope-I-do, it's huge.
Yes.
Yes.
Damn it.
I needed that.
Kyle.
Nah, that's my only shot to get the warheads.
Or if it lands on you.
He'll use his nope-I-do.
Ah.
Because he only needs a W. Ah. Oh. You can use it back on you. He'll use his nope-I-do. Because he only needs a W.
Oh.
You can use it back.
Oh.
It could be a standoff.
Yeah, you need it. He's laying on you first.
If it lands on you first, then I nope-I-do you.
And I nope-I-do that.
Yeah, but if it lands on me first.
Then I'm fucked, yeah.
Yeah.
Then he nope-I-do's you, then you nope-I-do him.
Unless you forget to use it.
Let's find out.
Oh, Kyle.
Yeah.
All right.
So wait, take it.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Perfect.
Wait.
Are you going to use your no-pi-do?
The only other chance you could use it is for what color.
There's no difference.
No-pi-do.
No-pi-do back.
I got it.
I got my dream.
You have to earn it. Yeah, there's no difference. No buy-do. No buy-do back. I got it. I got my dream concoction.
Yeah, there's no difference.
Wow.
That's a good snow cone.
Oh, my God.
Candy and fruit.
God damn it.
It'd be a real shame if I traded with you full time.
We're not trading.
We're not doing trades.
So, Brandon, you're getting more.
I can't wait for these trades.
Wait, so there's one left of everything.
I'm getting worse and worse.
You guys.
Yeah, do we have to keep going?
You got to unionize the trades.
I'm going to trade.
I think it's just me and you.
I think we trade every letter.
I think there's one S trade.
Aren't we locked in now?
What about everybody puts their ingredients back in and we re-spend?
I think there should be one trade for every letter.
Yeah, I agree.
An S trade.
I like that a lot.
Can I trade my free throws for an ingredient?
Yes.
If it lands on you during the trade.
Oh, we still have the mysteries.
That could really throw a wrench. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck it lands on you during the trades. Oh, we still have the mysteries. That could really throw a wrench.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck.
We could not do the mysteries.
No, why not?
No, no.
You can't just add trades and then not do them.
Okay, fine.
We'll do the mysteries.
After the trades.
Yeah.
All right, wait.
So does everyone know?
Everybody knows what they're doing.
Everybody's locked in.
All right, so let's just get.
Get what you got.
Wait, can I get green?
Oh, we forgot about the damn colors.
Nick, toss me pink.
No more to the mic.
That was bad.
Oh, that hurt so bad.
That was bad.
It was loud.
Are you bleeding?
No.
Hey, Dave.
Just throw me the Worcestershire sauce.
You good?
Yeah, that's good.
Leave a mark.
Do you have a replay of that, TJ?
Holy fuck.
Brandon just assaulted me.
I didn't assault you.
You dove across my knee.
Why did you want green so bad?
You dove.
I wasn't.
I was just reacting to you diving.
It was your mic.
Man, that hurt.
I'm going to be okay. I'm gonna be okay
I'm a warrior
Finally got your hot dogs
How'd you get hurt?
Got my pink
Well I had salami
Hot dogs and olives
And I really needed green
KB you might have just made
Like the new
And the warheads are gummies
So
Oh they're gummies?
Yeah
I think like
I don't think they're a salad.
This will end up on menus.
Yes.
That's a blizzard right there.
You break an orbital?
Yep.
I think I'll be okay.
I'm a tough motherfucker.
But luckily you're going to get a sweet treat to make you feel better.
If there's karma, I'll get to trade everything.
Should we spin once?
Somebody has to eat their snow cone outside.
What the fuck?
Wet.
Okay, so everyone say what they have.
Then we'll do trade.
So I think you just spin the wheel.
If your name comes up, you can trade a letter.
But once that letter is traded, the next person can't trade that.
Yeah, one trade for every letter.
Yeah. So we'll spin for S. These two people swap their s's yeah what yep okay no whoever it lands on can trade with anyone they can you also choose not to yeah you can choose no you
have to you have to use your trade but you can use whatever letter you want okay okay right yeah
fine um all right i'll start uh My snow cone is going to be yellow,
and it will have nitro cold brew, mouthwash, oat milk, and wheat thins.
I have Sprite, orange juice, Worcestershire sauce, vanilla, and blue.
Hot dog, salami, olives, water.
Green.
Yeah, green.
And green.
At least it'll be green fuck i got a mistake i got fruit juice and
fruit snacks pink damn man that's ideal i have orange steakhouse chili wasabi almonds
worcestershire sauce and onion powder. Maybe the worst.
That's the worst.
No, it's not.
Titus's is.
I have purple with Spam, chocolate chips, orange soda, and watermelon something.
I mean, you do have purple.
Zaz is the worst.
Watermelon flavor.
Yes.
What are you sipping on?
I got salmon nuggets, some mayo, and some white wine,
and my snow cone's going to be green.
And four free throws.
And four three throws.
Or three.
Three, sorry.
Big Cat and Mook, what colors did you guys have?
Green, orange.
I broke my face trying to get it.
Are you entering this in some?
Yes, I'm keeping track of it.
All right, I have strawberries, Nesquik, oven-roasted turkey, watermelon, and red,
and I've got to make a three-pointer.
Okay.
Or your box.
So now, spin the wheel, take no buy-do off, spin the wheel,
and whoever it lands on can trade their S.
Yes.
Or color.
Do an order.
Five spins.
Okay, five spins okay five spins
so whoever gets it now gets to trade one of the letters does the person it lands on get to pick
yes oh that's it yeah i thought it was s no no it's anything no it's you get to pick and then Spin it.
Who has orange juice?
Brandon.
God damn.
This guy crushed this draft.
God damn.
Fuck.
O has been swapped.
O cannot be traded.
Is that how it works?
Damn, KB.
Can O not be traded now? O cannot be traded.
Oh.
O cannot be traded.
Okay.
That was masterful.
Fuck.
Oh, Zaha.
Trade those free throws.
All right.
I'm trying to get rid of these damn threes.
Do I get to pick what I want?
Yeah, you got to give it to someone and then do a color.
Make that your color.
Or you could get a mystery.
Actually, yeah, could I do that?
Trade for a mystery?
Yeah, yeah, that's fine.
He's just trading his free throw.
So he would trade, like, Che has one.
He could trade with Che.
He could trade with our zero.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
You're right.
I can go free throw for free throw?
No, three pointers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So just trade with someone who has zero. Oh, yeah, that's right. You're right. You're right. I can go free throw? Free throw? Yeah. Three pointers. Yeah. Yeah.
So just trade with someone who has zero.
Trade with Che.
Nah, he has one.
Who has?
Who has?
We all have zero.
Mook, you want to trade?
Okay.
Yeah, he doesn't have a choice.
Sure.
So how many does Mook have to make?
Four.
Four.
Yeah.
Oh, easy.
Four threes.
Yeah.
Easy.
Thanks, Zaha.
You're welcome, bro.
Good draft, Zaha. You're welcome, bro. Good draft, Zaha.
Oh.
You have to do a letter.
Okay.
Or color.
Or color.
It's going to be interesting.
What do I want to get rid of?
I want to get rid of that salmon.
His first ever old pick.
For S. All right. What S's that salmon. His first ever old pick. For S.
All right.
What S's are out there?
I have mouthwash.
KB has Spongebob.
No, but that'll clash with your order.
KB does have Spongebob.
You want something savory.
Who do I order?
He has gummies.
Who do I want to order?
KB has...
What do you have, Mook?
Mook has Steakhouse Chili.
Salami, Spongebob candy.
Oh, wait.
Oh, bring that Sprite.
Sprite.
You know what? Give me that Spr Oh, wait. Oh, bring that Sprite. Sprite. You know what?
Give me that Sprite.
You always love trades.
Come fucking get it.
It's a good trade.
Now you have Salmon.
We're only doing trades because he had a bad draft.
No, man.
We've always done trades.
We've always done trades.
Every single draft we've ever done, we've done trades.
Yeah, but then we did it in the open.
Where did you get this?
Whole Foods.
We've done trades every draft we've ever done.
Last Tuesday?
This morning, 9.30 a.m.
You only have to put a little bit in.
I know.
All right.
It's been sitting out.
All right, so S and O are gone on the trades.
So W and J.
N or W?
Ooh.
I got some pretty good ones.
Watermelon and what? What's your N and W?
Nesquik and watermelon.
Yeah.
Kind of my core staples.
God damn it, Shay.
We are... He had the same thing as Jay.
Hey, beat boys.
Keep it safe.
Gang.
I'll trade my Nesquik for Nestle chocolate chips
because I'm not going to trade red today.
Not today, boys.
You're not going to trade red?
Not today, boys.
All right.
Not for us, Bucks.
So this is for the W swap, is it not?
Yeah, this is just W.
All right, final spin for W.
Oh, my God.
If I have to give up my water?
Because that's what I want.
Oh, no.
No.
No.
Oh, thank God.
Titus.
Watermelon, so I got, hmm.
You can take.
Or dare I give up the purple?
No.
Give up purple.
No, you can't.
Give up purple.
That's one point.
That was your first ever pick.
You want to make a watermelon for watermelon trade?
What is, Waza, what's your W?
Sauvignon Blanc. Some white wine.
I have warheads.
I have wheat thins.
Trade purple.
Trade purple.
No, I don't want the watermelons.
Trade purple.
Give me
the water.
No!
You have to use the water I've been drinking.
I hope I have COVID.
I don't.
There goes his first pick, man.
God fucking damn it.
I think it's better.
No, I don't think so, dude.
Watermelon, olives, hot dog, salami.
Green.
What a colossal element.
God damn.
That's the worst draft we've ever done. Ever ever and we still have to fucking mix these things but we do have the mystery items that was gonna ruin oh yeah you're
right so when do we say that i think we just pick numbers how many numbers are there eight i don't
know that's it let's table that what about the deck nah
alright how about
two people have to do
mystery items
they just have to add them
spin for people
that add mystery items
and they get to pick
their number
alright
yes
this Hammond stinks
yeah
oh fuck
Luke say a number
what is it
one through eight
yep
give me five
where are they yeah oh it's in the booth What is it? One through eight? Yep. Give me five.
How are they?
Yeah.
It's in the booth.
What is number five?
This is fun.
Taco sauce.
Oh.
Taco sauce, man.
That's fine.
I'll take it. That's fine.
It goes with the chili.
Thank you very much.
All right.
And then this is the last mystery item.
Then we'll get to Macon.
Oh, shit.
Razul Douglas and...
Is he out?
Mickey!
Me? Fuck.
Give me...
Give me mystery item one.
We never did trade colors.
Oh, you're right.
Nobody traded colors.
That's fine.
Oh!
Nice. Great pick. Thank you. Oh you're right Nobody traded colors That's fine Uh oh Oh Nice
Nice
Great pick
Great pick
Thank you
Coffee
Alright
Let's get to making
Oh my god
Kyle
Are you excited man
Yes
Look at this
Dude mine is gonna be disgusting
Mine was perfect
Until the trades.
I had all liquids.
All right.
So here we go.
And I'll go first.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I think we should spin to see who has to go first.
I think so.
I was going to volunteer.
No, no, no, no.
We also have to figure out how we make these snow cones.
You don't have the ice on the top.
Oh, that's it?
Yeah.
Okay. All right. And then what? You don't have the ice in the top. Oh, that's it? Yeah. Okay.
All right.
And then what?
You drizzle your concoction on top?
Yeah, on top.
So whoever goes up, go do the blender, pour it into a cup, and then wash out the blender for the next person.
Okay.
We wouldn't want ice in it, correct?
In the blender? No. No. Okay. That's in the snow cone. No, in the snow cone. Yes, yes, yes, yes, person. Okay. We wouldn't want ice in it, correct? In the blender?
No.
No.
Okay.
That's in the snow cone.
No, in the snow cone.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Okay.
But should we add a liquid?
Yes.
Do we all have liquids?
I think we all do.
Oh, yeah.
You got to do with what you got.
Yeah.
All right.
So who's going first to blend?
We'll spin.
I would go heavy on your liquid, though, to make it.
Definitely.
Definitely.
No.
No way. KB gets another.
It would be a real shame if I forgot to wash this.
Oh, damn.
It's going to be so bad.
Do we have a camera over there, TJ?
Olives, my green.
You want me to hit one more ad before?
Yeah, do the factor.
These freeze-dried gummy bears are weird.
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all right so now we just now we just wait now we just wait although we probably need the ice over
here because it's a two-step process so we should blend then you go to the snow cone maker you
probably get the blender in here where would it here we have a camera in there that's we have the taco
to talk about it boys over there i feel bad there weren't too many people in the office today
no but they've gotten some good screen time and it is fucking delicious real fucking good
really good uh they said there's three or four locations in the chicago area um
one was out in Elgin.
There's one way out there.
There's one in different neighborhoods.
Go on.
You can just sound it out.
Something Park.
Yep.
Not Greenfield Park, but Something Park.
That checks out.
Yep.
It's delicious.
They gave us, they had steak tacos, tacos al pastor, chicken.
You know, your standard taco stuff. But far from standard delicious taste yes so we're so what we're doing here this is big cats disappearing going over to
the blender we can't see and he's blending something how do we not have a camera in the
kitchen because they move the cameras the. Is the blender not mobile?
It might be a doozy.
I think it's a doozy.
He's going to cheat in there.
Yeah, for sure.
What can he cheat?
I can't add shit.
Or put like a tiny droplet.
No, you won't.
I trust him.
So we need an honest person over there.
Yeah.
Connor's there.
Oh, Connor's there?
He's a psychopath.
Yeah. His mom's hot, though. Yeah. Really? Like, like... Yeah. Connor's there. Oh, Connor's there? He's a psychopath. Yeah. Yeah.
His mom's hot, though.
Yeah.
Really?
Like, strawberry blonde, red?
Blonde.
Blonde?
Straight blonde?
Yeah.
About 5'6"? Beautiful lady.
Beautiful.
5'6"?
I'm not going to give you any more than that.
Beautiful lady.
Which quarterback do you think Is the best fit
For the city he plays in
Nothing to do with the team
That's good
And who's the worst
Oh wow
That's a really good question
So I'm just trying to think
Derek Carr, New Orleans
Zach Wilson, New York
Why Carr, New Orleans
Doesn't seem like a party guy to me.
That's the worst.
Deshaun in Cleveland.
I feel like Tua in Miami is a good fit.
I think he's more of a West Coast guy.
Who is at the
best they could be?
Kirk Cousins?
Herb in Minnesota.
Lamar in Baltimore?
No.
He's too boring. Kirk Cousins. Herb at the – Herb in Minnesota. Lamar in Baltimore. No. I like Lamar in Baltimore.
He's like a homebody.
He's too boring.
No, I actually agree with Herbert in L.A.
Herbert feels like a guy that just goes surfing.
He's a Cali boy.
He feels like a Cali boy.
Yeah.
No, I think he's too nerdy.
He looks like a beach boy.
But he doesn't act like one.
He talks in movie quotes.
Where do they make movies, Nick?
Yeah, fair.
C.J. Stroud in Houston is pretty good.
Why?
I don't know.
He's just a gunslinger in a gunslinging town.
That's good.
Russ in Seattle was good.
It felt like just like...
I like that one.
Chill vibe.
He's cheesy.
Seattle's cheesy.
Yeah, it is.
Seattle cheesy.
Tim Tebow in Denver.
He was closest to God.
Yeah, he was way higher.
True. Yeah, that one made a lot of sense. Chad Swimming, Josh Allen. Yeah, it is. Is Seattle cheesy? Tim Tebow in Denver. He was closest to God. Yeah, he was way higher.
True.
Yeah, that one made a lot of sense.
Chad Swimming, Josh Allen.
Oh, yeah.
Really?
But he's like a – He's dating a movie star.
A farm boy.
But he went to school in Wyoming.
I don't think Jared Goff fits in Detroit even though it's working.
No.
I don't know where he would –
I feel like he's a West Coaster too.
Yeah, it's like a boy getting sent to timeout,
putting Jared Goff in Detroit
You said Lamar Baltimore, no?
I say yes
No, there's no camera in there
Did you cheat?
Let's see
Oh, no fucking way
How's it smell?
Yeah
Like vomit inducing?
Two pieces of salami, three three olives a half a hot dog
watermelon
and a lot of food coloring
do you have any chunks in there
oh yeah
a lot of chunks
oh yeah
Stephen's there to
make sure everyone does
everything properly
honest work
okay
he is the
yeah
sniff Kyle
it looks like it's pretty gross like a cartoon depiction
of toxic waste yeah kind of you could I'm gonna convince myself it's pesto we're uh Shrek soup
yeah Shrek soup all right so Kyle you're up go oh no oh it's whoever gets next yeah
it's kind of fun to blend them I had the grossest thing ever though
Uh oh, problems?
Yeah
You get delayed
In the interest of time in here
Big Cat
Should we get the ice in here and you
Proceed to the snow cone machine, go ahead and make that
Yeah, you should start We can't. Should we get the ice in here and you proceed to the snow cone machine? Go ahead and make that.
Yeah, you should start.
Where is the ice?
I do not know.
I can go.
I'll ask Paige.
Okay.
Just right there.
Paige.
Yeah.
Ice.
Yeah.
You have ice?
Yeah. You know what sucks is we have to eat this.
Oh, yeah.
And then there's good Mexican food.
Right there.
I like these guys a lot because they call you papi.
Nuh-uh.
They didn't call me papi.
They called you papi?
They said, enjoy papi.
They did not call me papi.
Must have been that
one.
I'd like four cups of
horchata.
Talk about it.
I think they said
that four locations.
Are you coating the
stomach first in the
Chicago area?
No, I'm just hungry.
OK.
I'm fucked.
I don't care.
You're fucked.
I'm fucked.
It is what it is.
I had a debacle
of a draft.
The worst I've ever seen.
Yeah, what can you do about it?
There's nothing you can do about it.
Are you a little, like, your voice is raspy.
Can you find some solace that maybe you're getting Titus sick?
No, that's just because I slept three hours last night.
Oh, Titus left your water.
Oh.
Wait, who's in there?
Oh, here, Paige.
I think we have the water.
We'll use the ice in here.
Who's up?
Oh, no. Who's blending? I think we need that ice. We'll use the ice in here. Who's up? Oh, no.
Who's blending?
I think we need that ice.
We need that ice to put in that, right?
Who's blending right now?
Titus.
Oh.
What is he doing with the water?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Give me my water back.
He must have got new water.
Because I said Coke.
Oh, we just got the video of you blending it.
It's gross.
Oh, that's a good-ass blender.
You want to show it, TJ?
TJ, whenever you got to go, go.
Okay.
I have some time.
How are you guys feeling?
I'm feeling good about my draft.
Oh, great about the draft.
The best I've ever done draft You guys crushed the draft
I took mouthwash first
You got any parlays Kyle?
I'd like to ride something with you
I'd like to ride something with you
Laid on me
Who do I have?
Laid on me
I need
Najee and Dalton Kincaid both to
score, which is a long shot, but
doable to hit a parlay.
And then
I need Rashad White and I get like
7,000, but that's
not going to happen. No, I'm going to
put that in. For me, yeah. No, with you.
I know, but I don't have
that. Yeah, just put it in the top
and then
yeah see
I don't think the blender is like I did it right.
I'm happy we have a snow coat machine now.
Shout out to... I never really understood snow coats.
Yeah, people are looking at me crazy.
I get it.
It is so gross. Is that the snow cone?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
Well, hold on.
Let's put more ice in it more yeah yeah look at this
yeah let's get let's get it aesthetically
okay we're crushing this tj you want to spin our wheel just in case Uh-oh.
Oh!
Why not?
Yes.
Let me see.
Let me see.
Purple didn't work.
Oh, yeah, it's gross.
Let me see.
Let me see.
Oh!
We got mousetrap, boys.
On the wheel.
Yeah. Oh, Titus, what are you doing?
I was trying to show home.
Oh, Titus.
I was trying to show the camera.
Oh, my God.
I was trying to show the camera.
You got to drizzle over.
Whoops.
Mook, do you have bets in?
Do you bet on your team?
That looks like vomit
That's vomit
Okay boys here's my snow cone
Oh shit
Wanna zoom in?
Shit
What the fuck?
That is nasty
Say what it is before you eat it
It is
The smell is
That looks like germ
I deserve this.
This is karma because I was a nasty boy when I went to Target today.
You think that's still the salmon?
Salami, hot dogs, olives, watermelon juice, green.
Oh.
We need another blender.
Oh, we got to spin? Oh, this got a spin.
Oh, this tastes so bad.
Ew.
And you're sucking on it. Oh, I'm going to take another bite.
Yes, spin to see who blends next.
Did it retain its odor?
Yes.
I could taste the salami and the olives, but also the hot dogs.
What's dominating the taste?
I think it's the salami.
The salami.
Yeah, you'd think it would be the salami.
Oh, I'm going to do one more bite.
Two bites.
Everyone's got to get two bites.
Two decent bites.
Two decent bites is all we ask for.
I'm seeing stars right now.
Oh, fuck.
Threw up right there.
All right, who's going next?
Why doesn't someone just get up and go?
Yeah, yeah, go.
Just keep it going.
I was trying to show the camera, and I kept tilting.
Here comes bite number two.
Shout out to chat.
Chat, how's the war in the chat?
Oh, it does smell horrible.
How's the war in the chat doing?
We're winning.
Yes, let's go, boys.
We're winning?
Hold strong. Wait, Nick got it?
We're just gonna go
Okay, bite two
Something smells horrible, I don't know where it's coming from
I think it's all angles, dude
Yeah
Ew, dude, that looks
It's so gross Ew, dude, that looks... Ew.
Ew.
That was delicious.
It's a chunks.
A delicious treat for mid-January in Chicago.
My favorite, a snow cone.
Oh, my God.
Oh, man.
Yeah, the best way to celebrate the coldest day of the year
is this.
We'll all be right there with you, though.
No, you won't.
We could end the show right now.
No one has a bad draft.
Titus is about to be bad Mine's bad
Mine is not good either
Freak shit in there
Alright I'm going one more bite for the people
Oh
Big one
Mouthful
There you go
Wow
Did it
Snow cone
Warrior
Titus' looks
Visually
Disgusting
Yeah
Alright Titus
It's just diarrhea
The purple did not work
I'm very upset
But here we go
That was a big one no oh oh my god spam oh that is so gross oh my god that is so gross
oh my god oh three drastically different flavors spam What's hitting you? Chocolate syrup and orange soda.
Oh, my God, dude.
It's all, oh.
It tastes like cat food, and I've never had cat food. Oh, yeah.
That's the smell, dude.
Oh, my God.
It smells like my aunt's house.
It's not good.
Mook, why don't you go up and get ready to do this blend?
Oh, that's terrible.
That's terrible.
Just keep everyone going.
That was so gross.
It's the chunks, dude.
It's the chunks because it's like the actual food is not throw up worthy,
but it's like getting a small chunk of olive and a small chunk of salami.
Does the ice make it worse?
It's a brutal texture.
No, the ice makes it worse because you don't know what you're eating,
and then all of a sudden it's like, oh, I just had a piece of olive with salami.
Yeah.
Hot dog.
It's the texture.
Yeah, the texture's terrible.
It's like the actual, like, if you just gave me salami olive hot dog
and you said, here, roll this up and eat it.
It wouldn't be good, but you'd eat it.
It's the texture that fucks you up.
Your brain is used to an icy concoction being sweet.
Sweet.
Flavorful and good.
Correct.
Walking confidently.
That one cough.
Nick, what button did you press?
I turned it.
You turned it.
I won.
You did?
It smells awesome? It smells awesome
Smells like a fucking thin man
Yeah I'm interested in yours
You want to take a sip of mine?
Yeah
No
It does smell good
Oh no
Oh no
He almost puked
Did you get a whiff of this?
It smells just like mouthwash
Yeah dude
This is brutal
This smell is so off-putting.
Oh, my God, Nick.
Look at that.
That's mint ice cream.
That's a beautiful blend.
I don't think it's going to taste great.
No, I think it will taste very good.
Coffee and mint?
Yeah, there's got to be a few that always, like the draft, taste good.
Kyle, you go up
and just get ready right after Mook.
Oh, man. Okay.
Oh, Dave Portnoy convinced Barstool producer
dating crazy...
Wait, what?
Convinced?
What?
Dave Portnoy is convinced
that Barstool producer...
Oh, is dating Crazy Plane Lady.
Tiffany Gomez after.
All right.
Wait, did Dave give a comment?
Probably.
Oh, no, he just said, so you're dating.
Great reply by Hank.
Wouldn't you like to know, pervert?
I need more ice.
It melted it up instantly, which scared me.
Here, you want some of my...
Oh, no, I already threw mine out.
All right.
I'm excited for this.
Yeah, yours looks good.
Look at Hank making the New York Post.
Is it good?
Oh, it's incredible.
Hell yes.
Let me actually get a sip of yours.
Yeah.
I want a sip of your drizzle.
What is it again?
It's...
Zai, you can go get ready to blend as well.
I'm most worried about the wheat thins.
Those are going to get me really sick.
Wheat thins, mouthwash, Starbucks nitro canned Bev, milk or no oat milk.
Oh, my God.
And then to like some some some freeze dried gummy bears.
All right.
Let me let me get a sip.
No, let me sip of the actual cup.
Yeah, I'm gonna do my two bites.
Not a problem.
I did three bites.
No big deal.
I'll do three.
Not a problem.
I mean, someone always has to win the draft.
Shit, I spilled it.
I hope Kyle's tastes like shit.
I don't know how it will.
This is a good drink.
I don't know how it will.
This is a good drink.
Take a sip.
It's just like minty coffee.
Minty coffee.
Yeah, it's a minty coffee.
That's a hell of a draft, Nick.
Thanks, man.
It's good.
I would have that.
It's a good drink. Yeah. I don't know if you need the wheat thins. No, I. That's good. I would have that.
It's a good drink.
Yeah.
I don't know if you need the wheat thins.
No, I don't think so.
But I'd have that.
Brandon, did you blend yours?
No, I'm going to do it myself.
Yeah, you can't even taste any of the wheat thins.
That's like a good drink.
Good job, Nick.
Thanks.
Thanks.
They will kill you, right?
It'll kill me dead.
I had a vision.
Interesting.
Executed, and now I'm on bite four. Winner of the draft. Well, we'll see how kill me dead. I had a vision. Interesting. Executed, and now I'm on bite four.
Winner of the draft.
Well, we'll see how Kyle's is.
I don't know.
Kyle.
Yeah, Kyle probably has a fucking sick draft. There's no way it can go wrong for Kyle, right?
There's no.
No.
I can't even.
No.
No.
No, it's going to.
No.
Brandon, why don't you go blend your salmon, buddy?
Yeah, go blend your salmon.
Huh?
Go blend your salmon.
I'm 30 deep.
Yeah, that's fine.
Just go do it.
We'll yak.
So, TJ, explain to me this comment section rating.
I want to give – can we give purple hearts out to our chat?
I mean, the spam is coming in so fast that it's hard to deflect against,
but we've been playing great defense.
Yeah, but can I give, like, are there certain guys out there
that I could give a Purple Heart to?
There's names that I recognize that are.
Shout them out.
Yeah.
Glock.
Hell yes.
Rob with two Bs.
Rob with two Bs?
No face.
Ian Barrett's in here every day.
I know you guys have had your history. Well, Ian Barrett's obsessed with me, and every time Ian Barrett's in here every day. I know you guys have had your history.
Well, Ian Barrett's obsessed with me,
and every time Ian Barrett talks shit,
I just shove my dick down his throat.
Right.
So I don't really hate Ian Barrett,
because he just sucks me off.
There's a lot of that.
I mean, there's very much a regular group of people
that are here every single day.
Salute to our strong warriors on the front line.
Can we gift them a badge?
Some sort of visual
I don't
Stomach hurts actually
Maybe Quigs can just make a graphic
That's just a purple heart
For the great
MLK
Yak war
And we'll just hand him out
Shout out the boys.
They protected us when we were helpless.
Yeah, we had no idea what was going on.
I'm going in.
I'm looking at it.
I'm going to see.
You're looking at it?
I'm going to see what we got.
I think this might be our highest chat rate episode of all time, probably.
All right, well, thanks to that.
I'm weirdly sentimental and proud of them because it is yeah they're holding yeah i know it's a great job everybody
needs to leave let's go yeah they're off this is also one of those moments like where the chat
will shit on us but then when there's an outside attack they have our back exactly that makes me feel sentimental what is this
oh jesus you're gonna that's bad it's so much salsa
that's so much salsa oh it tastes like just it smells like spicy spicy chili
oh the wasabi almonds were strong i'm happy we did a draft today, but I'm going to say this right now.
Our next draft will not be until...
Look at how thick this is.
It's 80 degrees.
The first day you wear shorts.
80 degrees.
Yeah.
We need 80 degrees.
I like doing drafts, yeah, but...
Oh, maybe we should do a barbecue.
A BBQ.
Yeah, but actually...
Oh!
Spill that.
Oh, my God. Big bite for a big boy. Oh, my God. That's poop. Oh, my God.
Big bite for a big boy.
Oh, my God.
That's poop.
Oh, my God.
That is poop.
Dude, you found the ingredients for poop.
This is poop.
This is poop.
I want some bacon, egg, and cheese and a little poop.
Oh, my God.
All right.
You found the exact ingredients to make poop.
Oh, my God.
That's tough to look at.
That's tough to look at.
Be sure you get some ice in there eat it over the
trash can nah you won't throw up this is disgusting and the problem is too with the with the snow cone
you can't like take a little bite you have to put your mouth on a scoop it yeah oh mook here we go mook
it's the same color as his hair
say who
just going for it just a bite
here we go
stiller
oh
pittsburgh's going
to the snow
no come on, big boy.
No, no, no, no. It's just cold, cold, icy chili.
I couldn't get that down.
No.
Try again.
Dude, that is.
Look at that.
Can we zoom a little bit on it?
Here we go.
Steelers.
Here we go.
Pittsburgh's going to the Super Bowl.
Oh!
Okay.
Yeah, buddy.
All right.
Yeah, buddy.
That's enough.
Let's get one more bite.
Big Cat did three.
I did four.
I watched puke, and I'm going to puke.
I will, too.
Puke.
One more bite.
One more bite? Oh, wait. Is your snow cone in there? No, don't take it out. Don't take it out of the garbage. You're good. You're good. Puke. One more bite. One more bite?
Wait, is your snow cone in there?
No, don't take it out of the garbage.
You're good.
You're good.
You've done enough.
No, no.
You've done enough.
One more bite, Luke.
Bad?
What was the worst part?
Everything.
Yeah.
It's still in my mouth.
That's brutal Pittsburgh's going to the Super Bowl
What are the words to that song?
I actually don't know
I'm going to look them up
It's a lot of older players
I like singing it, it's catchy It is It's a lot of older players.
I like singing it.
It's catchy.
It is.
Oh, Mookie, good, bud.
Cheers, Steelers, the black and gold.
Here we go.
Town of Pittsburgh, heart and soul.
Here we go.
Steelers Nation, best fans from Pittsburgh the six-time Super Bowl champs.
Here we go.
Steelers.
It is catchy.
Here we go.
Pittsburgh's going to the Super Bowl.
Oh, there's a verse right now that has, with Johnson, Juju, Claypool, and Ben.
Oh.
Ugh.
Oh.
Ugh. You alright buddy?
You're gonna be okay
You're gonna fight
It's like on my upper lip
And I don't wanna
Get it out of the way
Cause I don't wanna taste it again
I don't know what to do Like a the way because I don't want to taste it again. Yep.
I don't know what to do.
Like a napkin, perhaps?
Take a swig of this.
What is that?
What is that?
Nikki Kalicki.
That's mine.
It's actually quite good.
It looks awesome.
It was great.
Yeah, it's good.
Yeah, smell it.
It smells great.
Dude, look at the difference here.
I know.
Nick's is incredible.
Nick won the draft.
I took a sip of Nick's.
You did this yourself, Mookie.
You took chili. I thought it was. I didn't sip of Nick's. You did this yourself, Mookie. You took chili.
I thought it was... I didn't know it was gonna turn
out to be poop. Chili is
the closest food to poop. Chili is poop.
Chili does look like poop. I made poop.
Here we go.
Alright.
Kyle's got a little strut. Nick, yours
looks like... He's feeling good. It's like frothy
and... Get this over with.
He's got a little cocky walk to him.
Is Brandon in there blending his salmon?
Yeah, napkin.
Pittsburgh's going...
TJ, before you leave, will you spin the wheel
so you have to do a mousetrap?
Oh, we already spun?
The first wheel?
Yeah, we got mousetrap.
Mook is off.
Weird energy today with MLK Day like a lot of people not working.
Yeah. It was like.
Yeah.
The roads were like empty.
Yeah.
Kids aren't in school.
Oh my.
Is it incredible, Kyle?
So good.
Really?
Damn it.
Show it to the people.
Where's your drink?
It's like a.
Let me get a whiff of that drink.
Are you going to eat it all? He might eat it all. It's like up Let me get a whiff of that drink
Are you gonna eat it all you might eat it all
Is it the best snow cone you've ever had oh you're tripping you're tripping you're tripping you're tripping
That's I don't I don't want any. I want some. Oh, there he is.
Maxie, come in here.
How you feeling?
I got bad news for you.
Sit down.
I got bad news for you.
Yours is way better than mine.
Am I going to do some bullshit?
No, sit down.
All you got to do is put your finger in a mousetrap.
No, you don't.
How you feeling about today?
Max, yeah, give us a vibes check First give us a vibes check
Villanova's in a dogfight right now
Fuck, Titus
Worried about one thing at a time
I had a really bad wheel day
It was brought upon yourself
Would you like the bad news?
Wait, what's your vibes at?
I won nothing tightest.
Villanova's in a dogfight right now, so I'm worried about one thing at a time.
Roan's flight got canceled.
No.
No.
Oh, shit.
That is bad news.
That's horrible news, truly.
I wish he would have texted me.
That's upsetting.
You look like you're going to cry.
Big Cat.
That's three.
I'm at the worst real day of all time.
We got toes coming.
I cannot win anything today.
Toes?
Yup.
That's a sweep.
That's going to be a sweep.
That's a toe.
Wait, is that a sweep a toe?
I did toes. I did big toes
Yeah I'll do toes
Yeah
Oh god
Can you set up two mousetraps
I just can't win today
No
No
I just did a draft of
Hot dog
Salami
Olives
In a snow cone
That sounds pretty bad
It's really bad
I don't know what else
I mean everything you do on this show is bad
Yeah fuck you're right Yeah Except the hanging wedgie That sounds pretty bad. It's really bad. I don't know what else. I mean, everything you do on this show is bad.
Yeah, fuck, you're right.
Yeah, yeah.
Except the hanging wedgie, the easiest thing ever done ever with no pain whatsoever.
How much did this hurt, Titus?
Worse than fingy?
One hurt a lot, and the other one didn't.
So it's like a matter of where it hits you.
It's actually fire.
I don't know.
It's so good. It's so good.
This is a carnival treat.
Oh, God.
God damn it.
What a bad day for you, man.
Little Mousy.
Little Mousy.
This is how you get ingrown toenails right here.
Cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese.
Oh, fuck, man.
Come here, boy.
Oh, no. Come here, Mousy. That's going to be hard to get off. Hungry, hungry Mousy. Oh Fuck man come here boy. Oh no
That's gonna be like hard to get off
I thought you guys were done with the mousetrap. We are
How did they come back Ro Roan. Roan.
Roan's not even here.
Yep.
The right one didn't really catch it.
It just caught my skin.
The left one got me. Yeah, that's what happened to me.
Yeah.
I got one bad.
Yeah.
I was just asked to come in.
Thank you.
God damn it.
This has been the worst day ever.
I can leave.
You can take your seat back.
Thanks for having me, everyone.
Do you think the Eagles are going to win?
Brandon, how much sandwich you put in?
I'm not expecting them to win.
I had it approved by the committee back there.
My vibes have changed.
What's the Villanova score?
They were down three at half when I walked in here.
Brandon, that's a beautiful color.
Max, this is a come-together game.
The team can rally without AJ.
If they can win this game, confidence, everything.
We're back.
You either lose tonight or you win the Super Bowl.
Che, what are your thoughts back there?
He's not?
All right.
The good thing is my face doesn't hurt.
Very orange, you see.
Dude, why would you squeeze it so tight?
What are you doing?
Brandon.
Brandon.
You didn't put any salmon in there, did you?
I did.
I got it approved by the committee back there.
The committee judged me.
All right, go ahead and drink it.
I realize my poop cone is direct karma for talking about picking up poop on Friday.
Oh, yeah.
How did it taste?
Terrible. Yeah. I threw up instantly on Friday. Oh, yeah. How did it taste? Terrible.
Yeah.
I threw up instantly.
You threw up?
Yeah.
Like, natural reaction.
Couldn't even get down.
Brandon, how's yours?
Oh, my God.
Did you just get a taste of salmon?
Yeah, and I just ruined my shoes.
You ruined your shoes?
Yeah, I got it all over my shoes.
Yeah.
Is that the second pair of shoes ruined on this show?
Uh-huh.
Yeah, he had chocolate on his Jordans the one time.
Yeah.
Damn it, my toes hurt a lot.
Yeah, that looked awful.
I'm having the worst day ever here.
It'll turn around.
Oh, fuck.
Big Cat, what would be the funniest outcome for you with this Eagles game?
Oh, that's actually, oh.
Funniest outcome.
Eagles win.
Is Smitty coming?
Jalen Hurts.
I think Smitty's coming.
Smitty and Che.
Smitty is coming.
Smitty and Che fight.
Max punching Che in the face.
Che said that he talked to Smitty
He's like
Eagles win
But
Jalen Hurts
Gets injured doing the tush push
And Che gets caught on camera cheering for him
Yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
I'm not rooting for that to happen
But I agree that would be funny
That would be very funny for content
Like that
You have to wrestle a win
And then like we have to murder Che
I would You I would have to be able to fight him if he agrees to a fight i have no
problem sanctioning that fight okay i'll deal with the repercussions after but it has to be a mutually
agreed upon combat you can't just punch him you told me the last time that i that i was a pussy
for not punching him you can slap him
okay okay that's fair that's fair compromise but you have to tell him that you're like i'm
gonna slap you okay you gotta slap okay you can't like sucker punch slap him deal
but what if i tell him really quick be like i'm gonna slap you
no i think you i think you'd have to i think you'd have to go out in the middle of the court
and be like stand court and be like,
stand there and be like, Stephen Che, you need to be slapped.
He's got to agree to it.
Okay.
Because I don't want to have to deal with like Dave being like,
hey, do you let Max slap someone?
Well, Dave would love to.
Yeah, right.
So like it has to, you got to,
because I think Che would actually let you slap him under those circumstances.
Okay.
This is fair.
Yeah.
This is fair. Okay. Thank you, Max. Like my. Okay, this is fair. Yeah. This is fair.
Okay, thank you, Max.
You like my Big Dom attire?
Yeah.
Big Dom.
Big Dom is back.
Changes everything.
Oh, he is back.
Good luck tonight.
Yeah.
My toes hurt so bad.
The left one looked like you really got it in there.
The left one was direct.
The right one was a pinch on the skin.
Okay.
On the front of the toe.
Easy.
But it still stings.
Yeah.
I don't know what I did to deserve this today.
Kyle.
Brandon, you have-
I was going to say, can we see yours? Brandon's got blue teeth from his salmon snow cone.
What are you laughing at, Brandon, that I'm just having a pain and misfortune today?
Oh, yeah, it sucks.
Listen, I'm not complaining.
I just, I don't know what I did to deserve it, but I'm eating it.
I feel great.
Fresh ass breath, good snow cone.
My boy Kyle has a nice new flat brim.
Oh, fuck yes, Kyle.
Life is good for me.
Man, fatag.
I'm so excited for these games.
Me too.
I hope the inclement weather doesn't make this a snooze fest.
I don't think it will.
We're going to be streaming both the games, so everyone tune in.
Does anyone have to eat a snow cone to end?
Oh, Zah.
Oh, oh
Shit and Che right and Che and what mook? Why don't you go make four threes?
Yeah, you have to go make four you smoked a pack of cigs
It's like coming up my stomach into my throat somehow. Yeah, we find sweetie. Yeah, just run.
Zod's back.
Zod, there's one pre-made.
Yeah, there's a pre-made one right over here.
Brandon, you did push the mic into me.
No, I didn't.
I'm watching the replay.
You cross-checked me in the face. You were diving across my feet.
You cross-checked me in the face.
You were diving across my feet, and that's your mic you dove into.
No, you pushed it.
Brandon, you could see clearly in the replay before I hit it, you push it.
You're diving across my feet.
No, you used the mic to stop me.
Pull it up, TJ.
I'm just in self-preservation mode at that point.
I was cross-checked.
Go.
How many attempts do you think?
Oh!
30.
30 for four?
I think he's doing it in 15.
Oh, my goodness.
What the fuck?
Doing four.
There's a chance.
Doing four.
Oh, my God. The first. Oh, my God. What the fuck? Do it in four. He has a chance. Do it in four. Whoa. Oh, my God.
The first.
Oh, my God.
Oh, of course.
All right, just make one more.
Now it might take all afternoon.
Wow.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Mook.
Mook.
Jumper built by poop.
Yeah, dude.
The poop kept you strong.
He's struggling.
Dude, that was cold. That was cold as fuck look at this look at watch watch it again watch it again oh there's not he pushes it with
his two hands there's no because you're you're already moving the the stem no the stem no you
move the stem yourself wrong what hit? You went into the stem.
He's got both hands on the mic, and he pushed it in my face.
That was, look at your right hand.
Yeah.
Look at your right hand.
Go back a little bit.
Go back a little bit.
Right there.
His right hand's on the mic.
You can't see that.
That's inconclusive.
Yes.
And you're pushing it.
Yeah, you're kind of on the mic.
Titus is in the way.
You cross-checked me in the me in the face pushing with two hands
that's
you let somebody dive
across your
your legs
and you have a mic
in front of you
I just want it green
Kyle you look so sick man
see his hat
a little big
a little big
you should bring the penalty box
no cones
alright dude they Zahn Chaney no cones we didn't give you enough credit Little B. You should bring the penalty box. No cones.
All right, dude.
Zahn, Chaney, no cones.
We didn't give you enough credit.
Oh, yeah, just spend a three for a four. There's one pre-made right there.
I'd do that.
It'd be like that.
On the chair.
No, I hit the first three in a row,
and you should have bet all of your money that I wouldn't hit the fourth in a row.
Yeah.
That was the most obvious thing.
I knew you would.
But I've been here late working on my jumper.
I believe that.
I've been working on the J.
Who's going to score tonight for?
Devontae Smith.
Tonight?
Julio.
Dallas Goddard.
Julio?
He might.
So what do I do
Najee
Najee
Definitely Najee
Confident in him
Who else
For both games
Yeah I'm gonna do
Three
I'm gonna do two
And then one
Cook up something real
Two in this upcoming game
Yeah
Crazy right
Wild like that though You know I'd be wild Who's that Two in this upcoming game? Yeah. Crazy, right?
Wild like that, though.
You know I'd be wild. Who's the – is the Bills go-to tight end Knox or Kincaid?
Kincaid.
Oh, my God.
What about a defensive touchdown?
No. Oh, I have the parlay
What do you got?
One sec
But yeah, what do you got?
Give me
You should bet Cade on
Alright, are we good?
Yep Everyone eat?
Yep
Steven did you eat?
Yeah
Have a bite
Who's gonna score for the Bucs tonight Steven?
Okay
Oh yeah
What's in there?
Yeah, this is it.
Turkey.
The turkey.
I'll do it.
And take a big old bite.
Is that what it looks like when he...
Yeah?
Yeah.
Is that the...
Oh.
Oh.
Steven, don't.
Red for my fucks.
Dive right in.
Dive right in.
Imitate the salt burn.
Aw, dude.
Go salt burn.
Imitate the scene.
It's the bottom of the pool.
All right.
Good or bad?
The turkey messes it up.
The turkey messes it up.
Okay.
Yeah. All right. Well, thank you everyone for watching. And also, shout out the chat. The turkey messes it up Yeah
Alright well thank you everyone for watching
And also shout out to chat
You guys are the real heroes
Bought for us hard
You wanna do KB's Creed on the way out
Yeah
One last time with KB's Creed
Everyone tune in to the streams
We're gonna be streaming both games
KB's Creed
I'm gonna be out the next two days
So chat
Don't be too mean to Stephanie who's replacing me
Stephanie will be fucking better not
Tice, did you know that your
neighbors are Stefan?
Yeah, I learned that today
Congrats, huh
Tip of the cap
Huge
Ready?
He asked where I live and I said where I lived
I feel like that should be kind of the dominating theme of today.
Yeah.
We should have led with that.
We should have done more with that.
I said the intersection I lived at, and then he goes,
that's the intersection I live at.
Oh.
Oh, my.
Yeah.
Live in your house?
Yeah.
All right.
Three, two, one.
Pancake, marmalade, pecan pie, and lemonade.
Hershey Kiss, butterscotch, Swedish Fish, take it up a notch.
Pancake, marmalade, pecan pie, and lemonade.
Hershey Kiss, butterscotch, Swedish Fish, take it up a notch.
Pancake, marmalade, pecan pie, and lemonade.
Hershey Kiss, butterscotch, Swedish Fish, take it up a notch. Pancake, marmalade, pecan pie, and lemonade. Hershey Kiss, butterscotch, Swedish Fish, take it up a notch. That makes me laugh so hard.
It's so good.
Great show, boys.
See everyone tomorrow.
Tune into the streams.
Go Steelers.
Go Bills. Goers. Go Bills.
Go Eagles.
Go Bucs.
Oh, yeah, with a red-ass mouth.
All right, see everyone tomorrow.
Go Bucs. It's your straws, yeah Silence, hey For a while to react It's the act
It's the act
Yeah, it's time to talk shop
We're doing Yankees love
It's the act
It's the act I'll be out there next two days.
Be back Thursday.
Love you guys.
Bye.