The Yak - The Spladle Wrestling Move Has Taken The World By Storm | The Yak 3-25-24

Episode Date: March 25, 2024

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, pull that up. What is up? We're bigness. Do we know where he is? Five minutes late. You're third in command, boss, man. Bring us in. Bring us in, Kyle.
Starting point is 00:00:37 Yeah. All right. Exciting weekend of sports. Are you the Prince Harry of this show? Yak, promo code yak, rowback, quarter zips, joggers, fleeces, rowback.
Starting point is 00:00:51 Rowback, yeah. Promo code yak. Promo code yak. Yeah, I think if this were the royal family, you would be the... I think I'm 1B or 2A, but I don't host.
Starting point is 00:01:03 I'm a supplement. That's my thing. Boy, do I feel bad for calling Kate Middleton a dumb bitch. But I was calling her a dumb bitch because I was just flavor text. Yeah. I don't think she's a dumb bitch. So what, she has full-blown cancer?
Starting point is 00:01:20 And I think they found out when doing her abdominal surgery, which is quite lucky. Jesus. As opposed to half-ass cancer? Yeah, I guess. Just a little bit. Full blown.
Starting point is 00:01:29 I said full blown. Sometimes you just get like a little bit. Just a little bit. And it's fine, but I think she has the full blown. We have a situation brewing in this office. Yeah, it seems bad. Is there like a soup thief? Yeah, there's a soup thief.
Starting point is 00:01:40 PFT had a soup stolen. PFT, would you like to come in? PFT. Yeah, what's going on? Would you like to hop on and see if you can... No, we want you to get the weight of this nation behind you.
Starting point is 00:01:54 Yeah. You can get the public behind you right now and really pile on whoever you think did this. As we know, PFT loves soup. There's been a caper. There's been a heist. And it's literally
Starting point is 00:02:09 12 things of soup that are gone. 12? Wait, 12 soups are gone from the fridge, right? Are things the quantity of soup? 12 things? Yeah, I usually have a thing of soup for lunch, and then sometimes I'll have a thing or half thing of soup as a snack. And there are all these different varieties or good flavors i was excited to have my soup for lunch today and i go to the fridge and there's only two soups left out of 14 out of
Starting point is 00:02:35 14 and they're somebody sold 12 they're they're the tomato like really thin liquidy soups i don't want anyways they left the bad ones. Were they in individual little containers? Yeah. No, they were in big, like, two- Kate, did you take the soups? No. Kate. But I think I know-
Starting point is 00:02:52 And you love soup. I think I know who took your soup. Did anybody go home sick today? Wait, wait, wait. Okay, hang on. What do you mean, you think? Hang on. I think-
Starting point is 00:03:01 Kate, I want to know the answer to this. Wait. I think he might not be in the room, but under normal circumstances, he would be. Brandon Walker? Somebody went home sick today with a pretty sore throat. Yeah. Hmm. That he said is not as sore after all the soup I just ate.
Starting point is 00:03:20 Question. Question. Wait, did Brandon take the soup? When were the soups? How long were they were they here on Friday I confirmed saw the soup on on Tuesday because I had a big bowl of chili before I did the act wait were they your are they you your soups they're my soups and I so I had one on Tuesday I might have had one on Wednesday I'm not 100% sure but I didn't have one Thursday or
Starting point is 00:03:42 Friday because of March Madness and we were watching you know basketball all day so uh I walked out immediately confronted Blutman because Blutman's the new soup guy around here yeah of course everybody knows that about he's the new soup guy yeah he has an aversion to solids yeah he got he got offended that I accused him but then Hank happened to be standing next to me and Hank is like wait did somebody still you're saying someone stole your soups and I was like yeah and Hank got this look in his face and Hank's like well I told Pete he could have some oh and first of all Hank who's giving out your soup what gives you the right that's not your soup you know that's my soup also asking for soup and then taking 12 soups yeah so I I immediately was like fucking Pete Pete. And also, fuck you, Hank. You can't give away my soup.
Starting point is 00:04:27 Yeah. So I called Pete up and Pete said that he had two soups. But Hank told him it was okay. Hank also didn't tell Pete that they were my soup. Hank just took it upon himself to give away my soup to Pete. Did Hank tell anyone else about this? Because I... Hey, it sounds like you know.
Starting point is 00:04:43 I think I know. Hank claimed he hasn't told anybody. My two biggest suspicions were, one, I thought Brandon Walker initially, but then you can't fry soup, so I don't think he's that much of a soup guy. Wait, TJ, Google fried soup. That's got to be a thing. 12 soups, you would need like a wheelbarrow. That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:05:02 How did he get out? That could be your last supper. Yeah, I like to imagine Brandon eating it out of a trough. Kate knows. Kate, you know. Yeah, Kate knows. Would this person be very embarrassed? We're going to have to waterboard Kate.
Starting point is 00:05:16 I will tell you, in fact, they had a large cardboard box with the soups, and they were so excited. Oh, you saw? Somebody else went homesick today, too. Did Paige go homesick? Is it Paige? She does. I can't be mad if it's Paige.
Starting point is 00:05:31 It's Paige. No, it's not Paige. It's not Paige. Caitlin? Caitlin's here. Oh, Caitlin's here. And it wasn't today. Is it Mincy?
Starting point is 00:05:40 No, it wasn't Mincy, which is shocking. Mincy couldn't carry soup, I don't think, without leaving it frail. He tried to pick it up with his hands. They were thrilled, and they even told me. I said, what's with all the? I didn't know it was soup. What's with the 12 soups? What's with the 12 soups?
Starting point is 00:05:58 And they said, it's awesome. Towards the end of every week, there's this new thing where there's all this food in the fridge, and you can take it. Wait a minute. Oh, you just outed them extremely. Towards the end of every week, there's this new thing where there's all this food in the fridge and you can take it. Wait a minute. Oh, you just outed them extremely. Somebody stole a giant wok of fried rice from Donnie and he got mad. Yes, apparently. No one's clearing out. There's a miscommunication.
Starting point is 00:06:12 Wait, was that you, Spider? You know who it is? No, I don't know. What's so funny over there? Spider. Because I came down over there. All right, well, this is becoming. Who would steal a dozen soups?
Starting point is 00:06:23 I need to know. There is a leftover fridge. Just a. Yes. I think. Stealing a dozen soups. I need to know. There is a leftover fridge. I think stealing a dozen soups, if you take leftovers, take one. Yeah, and also Donnie told me that could be my soup fridge. Because I had all these soups delivered and he was like, yeah, put them in here.
Starting point is 00:06:38 The leftover fridge is what's confusing people. I think this person was telling me about the leftover fridge and they were so excited. And they were like, check out this haul I got. A haul? It's a good will. Who are you protecting? I can't say. Is this person like a boy boy?
Starting point is 00:06:54 I'll tell you this though, they were like so excited. Is it Rico Bosco? No, they were very excited. Oh no. So who was here yesterday? Is it Mad Dog? It was before the weekend Wait It's someone like Mad Dog
Starting point is 00:07:07 I could be wrong Maybe they just had Yeah They were containers like this big She also loves soup Was it Mad Dog? She does like soup Were they containers like this big?
Starting point is 00:07:15 Yeah Yeah Okay yeah Is Mad Dog? No Oh Male or female Who are you protecting right now?
Starting point is 00:07:22 It's definitely a woman Chaps? Yeah you'd be protecting a woman. Is it Chaps? Oh, is it Chaps? Can I call him? Oh! Twelve soups!
Starting point is 00:07:34 A cardboard box? He got a cardboard box out to fill up with the soups. That's a veteran move. Wait, can I call him? Wait, doesn't he ride a bike into work every day? He had his car. Is he biking tent soups back home? Oh, you'll love this.
Starting point is 00:07:52 Oh, yeah. Hi, I'm sorry to bug you because I know you're sick and you're on the air. Oh, he sounds sick. What happened? What was the food that you took home on Thursday? Oh, Brandon stole your soup? What was it? Yeah, what kind of food was it in those containers?
Starting point is 00:08:08 Soup. How many soups was it, chaps? Why? Did Hank tell you you could take those soups? What? Did Hank tell you you could take those soups? It's in the refrigerator that says take home. I noticed you took all the good soups and you left the shitty ones.
Starting point is 00:08:30 Oh, I know what happened. When I take bad soup, I left tomato. Yeah, you put soup in the leftover fridge. Donnie told me that's where I should put all my soup, though. That's the only place that we had. Oh, this sign is on the road. How funny is that sign? I told them, Ch chaps that it was not
Starting point is 00:08:45 your fault because you knew this when we chaps is in the clear if there's the sign is on the fridge sign that says please take this food yes when we started lunch in january we had so many leftovers that page put that on the refrigerator being like everyone let's not waste food take this home that's where your soup went. Yeah, but Donnie told me that I could use that fridge specifically to store all that soup because somebody sent me a giant shipment of soup. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:12 And there's no other space for it. So he's like, yeah, you can put it in this fridge. The potato soup was very good, and the chicken and wild rice was even better. I know, it's so good. Sorry, Chaps. Chaps is the worst person to have this happen. He will show zero remorse.
Starting point is 00:09:26 I was walking to get my car, and he drove past. I was like, hey, can you, because my car was a few blocks away, getting fixed or whatever. And this was Thursday or Friday. And I was like, hey, do you mind if I hop into whatever and I go to get it? And he's like, watch out for all these soups I got at the thing. He had a car for me. He had to tell you to watch out because there was too many soups.
Starting point is 00:09:44 Watch out. All right. So, okay, I understand it. The thing he had a card for. He had to tell you to watch out because there was too many soups. Watch out. All right. So, okay. I understand the leftover fridge thing. I get that there's a label on it. But Donnie did tell me specifically you can put all your soups in this fridge. And it's been in there for, I think, two weeks. So it hadn't been cleaned out yet.
Starting point is 00:09:59 And, okay. So what happened is it was the clean out fridge During January lunch So it wasn't getting cleaned out anymore Once we passed January No, I didn't get my soups until February No, no, I'm saying It wasn't getting cleaned out, but the sticker stayed
Starting point is 00:10:17 So that's why you got screwed Yeah, and here's the part that I'm actually mad about I was asking Blutman Do you know what happened to these soups? Hank happened to overhear me say that to him. And Hank was like, are you talking about some of your soups being missing? I was like, yeah. He goes, yeah, I told Pete he could have some of them.
Starting point is 00:10:34 So Hank's just giving away my soup. Oh, no. And to Pete? And to Pete. That's the worst. And then he didn't even tell Pete that they were my soups. Hank acted like he was giving away his own soup to Pete. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:10:46 That's fireable offense. So I'm just upset because I was looking forward to trying the creamy baked potato, the loaded baked potato. Well, Chaps could probably come in and burp in your face. Yeah. He was just walking by and he's like, these 12 soups look delicious. All 12 of these. I better
Starting point is 00:11:02 go get a box. He was very excited 12 is an insane number that's a lot of soup that's so much soup I gotta go eat some tomato soup that's gonna be thin thin tomato soup
Starting point is 00:11:14 oh no with no grilled yeah have Vince make a grilled cheese for you yeah you can dip in that thing oh no chap's riding his bike
Starting point is 00:11:22 with a big ass box of soup soup's on the end of ours yeah that is the worst person to have him take because he will show no he'll he'll just say to pft for the next month like remember i took all your soups what's up guys sorry i was late hey missed everyone how was the uh oh yeah we had a little bit of a hiatus yeah we did yeah wow i've seen you guys since wednesday holy shit yeah you've been in cave mode. I know.
Starting point is 00:11:46 Sleep. Titus and I. No. I slept four hours last night. Jesus. I'm in a bad spot. Yeah, I feel like shit. Mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:58 Don't tell me you lost your faith. It's the best time of year, isn't it? I've lost my faith. Yeah, no, I wouldn't. I love it. I love it. We love it. I love it so much. I love it. it just beats you down makes you question everything about your
Starting point is 00:12:08 life is your fucking bracket busted brother i don't even know what's in my bracket i have no idea it's got to be busted did you guys play the intro the special intro what tj said he had a special intro today maybe we didn't pay attention. No, it wasn't special. What are you doing? I'm a clog guy now. What the fuck? I fuck with it heavy. I'm the most casual guy on the show. You look comfy.
Starting point is 00:12:35 You look so comfy. I don't know. I got strings on my pants. I'm wearing a solid color sweatshirt from Gildan. I'm the casual guy. Oh, no. You said this is your what fit yesterday?
Starting point is 00:12:50 This is your go downstairs and pick up food? Yeah, this is my DoorDash delivery fit. You got to get your hacky sack back. You want to try them on? No, I don't know if I like them. I think you're becoming a lesbian. I've been. Oh, I've been oh I've been
Starting point is 00:13:05 yeah are those broken stocks oh yeah how sick is Brandon by the way he's pretty sick he can't disgusting he can't take the four days like he started talking on mostly sports and I was like you have to stop you have to get out of here his body is not built for March no he doesn't get it you could tell like he was like he was like can i leave early i was like yeah you can just not be here yeah so you did how many hours each day thursday friday saturday sunday thursday was 11 a.m till about 1 a.m yeah friday was 11 a.m till about midnight saturday was what four to midnight and then last night was four till four a.m damn did it feel like leaving a casino when you finally walked outside yes there's definitely there was definitely like moments saturday and sunday morning when i was
Starting point is 00:13:58 like with my kids where i was like i'm not a human being i don't know like i shouldn't be doing autopilot yeah yeah does uh march madness always align with the head coach photo or was that where I was like, I'm not a human being. I don't know. I shouldn't be doing this. Autopilot. Yeah. Does March Madness always align with the head coach photo, or was that just double the workload? They usually do it on Monday. They did it on Sunday. They fucked me up.
Starting point is 00:14:15 They fucked you. It fucked me so hard. I was literally sitting in my basement until 4 a.m. last night, just felt disgusting, brain was mush. I don't even know what i wrote and yeah they fucked me they yeah they fucked me they've had it out for you this year i know yeah because i also had some plans that i'll have to just push to next year i don't plan for the coaches okay might have an inside plan write it beforehand yeah just guess what they're wearing
Starting point is 00:14:42 let's just write it every week. Yeah. For the numbers. Why not? Just repost it. TJ, do you have the intro? Yep. All right, do it.
Starting point is 00:14:56 What is this? It's from a peasant to a prince to a motherfucking king. What are you doing? King Kunta. Oh, okay. I got a bone to pick. Why are you doing this now? I'm going to shit on my throat again.
Starting point is 00:15:09 This is the most natural wish I've ever had on this show. You all got fired up. Yeah. This will be a good time to... Oh, wow. Oh, shit. Holy shit. Wow. Whoa. Let's sell these products before they sell us.
Starting point is 00:16:10 How would they sell us? Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Yakis. That's never been said. It's the act. It's the act. Oh, wow. Marty Gallo does it again.
Starting point is 00:16:23 We've got to hire this guy. Yeah. So good. He's amazing. Damn. But wherever he's working, probably he's probably making a lot. He said. Unemployed.
Starting point is 00:16:32 Oh. Unemployed. That's too good for us, honestly. Yeah. That feels. Yeah. We have to hire him. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:39 If I saw that, I wouldn't think I'm watching a bar. I'd be like, I'm on the wrong channel. I was trying to watch a bar store. You've met him in person, right? I met him, yeah. a couple times at least. DJ, do a reel real quick of just everyone here right now. Just do one spin. We're going to hire a nerdy gal.
Starting point is 00:16:57 We have to. I have to figure out how. I have to do what I tell. Is this for, like, taking half our salary? No, no, no. It's something else. All right, spin it. All of it?
Starting point is 00:17:08 Yeah. Just one spin. His shit is so good. So amazing. Okay, perfect. KB, you're going to have to tell Marash that he's out. Oh, easily. Okay. I get off on that type of thing.
Starting point is 00:17:27 You're calling him? I'm going to text him. You're out, dude. Nerdy Gallows in. That was so good. That was awesome. That was so good. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:17:37 Damn. I felt like I was transported into a different universe. Yeah. And we all looked awesome. Awesome. Yeah. You looked like Jeff Goldblum. I looked so sick.
Starting point is 00:17:47 Can we just scroll through the pictures again? I think I might have been too pretty. Well, he basically was saying you're in a scene of some. I'm a lesbian. You're also in a street jacket with cartoons. Yeah. You're too pretty. You're like filtered in the face.
Starting point is 00:17:59 Che's not Asian. I wish I looked like that. Shane, I like that we can just trick people thinking Shane's on the show. Yeah. Ah. Yeah. Yeah, I look good. That is Goldblum.
Starting point is 00:18:14 I look way too good. Not who you are. Perfect. That's sweet. Kyle was wet. Steven. That's sweet Kyle was wet Steven That's perfect I mean Titus you're a badass
Starting point is 00:18:31 Look at those eyebrows Not bad Got his proportions right He's lanky as hell now He always hides really cool stuff Yeah Look at the background. Nerdy Gallo.
Starting point is 00:18:49 Shout out. We need him on the team. Yeah. Maresh is out. Gallo, I mean, yeah, until we can do that. Gallo in, Maresh out. Until we can do that. Is Gallo Indian?
Starting point is 00:19:01 No. Okay. I don't think so. We could probably get him there. Gallo, what is that? Italian. Most persecuted class don't think so. We could probably get him there. Gallo, what is that? Italian. The most persecuted class of people. Right, we have to meet a quota.
Starting point is 00:19:10 The most persecuted. Yeah. They are. Was Che not here? He is. No, he's not. So we can't do the Che list. And also, Che and Brandon not being here, we could revamp the name
Starting point is 00:19:26 wheel if we want. I have a great... Did you guys bring stuff? Yes. No. I didn't bring stuff. I have... Maybe tomorrow? Tomorrow. Okay, because mine is... You got a good one? I'm very excited about mine. A fun one. Very fun. That's what I like. And it has to happen
Starting point is 00:19:42 in here. Yes. Okay. But maybe Very fun. That's what I like. And it has to happen in here. Yes. Okay. Hmm. But maybe not. I just want to show you mine. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to come up with a name for it.
Starting point is 00:19:53 But TJ, show the first video first. I actually bought this game. I forgot to bring it in. I'll bring it in tomorrow. But it is like these... I follow these stupid Instagrams where people just play like one-on-one games. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Yeah. You know that couple? I don't know the couple. Oh yeah. I know. I think I know of this. Yeah. They just,
Starting point is 00:20:11 I just watched them play games to see who has to make dinner. Yeah. And it's weird. They can't be happy. They probably hate each other. Oh, they definitely hate each other. They're always competing in these games.
Starting point is 00:20:20 But if you play the first video, TJ, this game rocks. It's called blast box finish off your family game night with a bang I don't know if I like this box from zing toys from zing love exploding balloons you use the included balloon inflator on the easy tie clips to inflate your balloons just scroll through it inside the blast box it's easy You use one balloon per player.
Starting point is 00:20:45 So if you've got four players, you'll use four balloons. Players then take turns spinning the spinner to see what action they'll have to take. If you land on a picture of one pin, then you must hammer one pin into the top of the blast box. Fun. Oh, yeah. This seems like a Mario game. Very fun. Then you must hammer two or three pins anywhere into the top of the blast box.
Starting point is 00:21:02 So I bought this game. We're going to bring it in. And then the loser of this game. We're going to bring it in and then the loser of this game will be video two. Okay. Where they just put this old guy into a balloon. Oh, fuck yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:17 Look at that dude. So I got to get a leaf blower and just like a giant balloon, I think. You got to get in the balloon? Yeah, so we're going to put someone in giant balloon, I think. Oh, they're getting them. You got to get in the balloon? Yeah, so we're going to put someone in a balloon. Fuck yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:30 Oh, yeah. So when I put it out with my hand down, put your two hands down in under it. Oh, they're Irish. Marianne! I want you to go in. Marianne? Oh, no f**ks.
Starting point is 00:21:45 Oh, no. Is that man tiny? He seems tiny. Get the leaf blower! Get the leaf blower, Ty! Get the leaf blower! Oh, if you get that blower, Ty, you should be dead. Tyga.
Starting point is 00:22:01 Can you imagine one of us in these balloons? This would be great. Yes. This is going to be awesome. I'm going to freak out. I feel like it's very fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't wait till my name wheel hits.
Starting point is 00:22:12 No, is that his? Oh, this is a great idea. Whoa, look at him go. Are you happy now? Yeah. We're going to do this. Yeah, I'm for it. Game on. Well, we're on Name Wheel. Nick's Name Wheel prize from last week's Name Wheel. The Alphabet Challenge is in the box behind Nick. Oh.
Starting point is 00:22:42 If you recall, his prize was $100 worth of F. Uh-oh. The box? Yeah. Uh-oh. 100 F. $100 worth of F. Is that 100 F in there?
Starting point is 00:22:52 It's like a podcast. It's like the next million dollars worth of game. Is that 100 F? Is this part of it, TJ? Yeah. Oh. Okay. Oh.
Starting point is 00:23:03 What is that? I don't know. Fleece? It's a frog hoodie? Frog hoodie. Oh. F for frog hoodie. Okay. What is that? I don't know. Fleece? It's a frog hoodie? Oh. Frog hoodie. F for frog hoodie.
Starting point is 00:23:09 Amazing. Thank you. Oh, that counts now. Yeah, you have to put all this stuff on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Is this a... All right, why don't you go and do a reveal? Yeah, I'll just go do a reveal.
Starting point is 00:23:21 Yeah. Jesus Christ, there's a lot of frogs in there. Thanks, TJ. Yeah. Yeah, so we'll do the rest of the name wheel tomorrow. I just want to put someone in a balloon so bad. Yeah. When I saw that, I was just...
Starting point is 00:23:36 What would happen if his head went in, too? I think he'd die. I think he'd just become a balloon. Look at this. Look how fun that is. I love that they did it to their old dad or uncle. He has no idea that it has millions of views. Balloon banter.
Starting point is 00:23:52 Is he standing up right now? Oh, it's a... Oh! I can't tell how tiny he is. I can't. Also, it's a Fleming. Tadig Fleming was the name of the account. Look at that.
Starting point is 00:24:03 Whoa. There we go. Fleming curse. Shout of the account. Look at that. Whoa. There we go. Fleming curse. Shout out Joey and Pat. They won all 40,000. I can't believe only one team made it. For a minute there, the streets were talking that KB knows ball. What a bloodbath.
Starting point is 00:24:18 But you know ball. I don't. You've got your teams. You've won a tournament game every year. You did say horrible pick after I picked Cal and they beat Aubrey. Terrible, terrible. Yeah, first impression's all that matters with March Madness picks. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:32 You just got to get the first round right. I think I said horrible pick for Duquesne, too. Yeah. I was just terrible with all my picks. That's how it works. Yeah. Did you watch ball? Well, it was a wrestling weekend we
Starting point is 00:24:46 watched some wrestling only one clip made the rounds to the layman and it was awesome it set us back decades and you get this clip tj because i don't know how a human being got in this position oh no oh my god is that his foot this is i mean this is you gotta go the other side yeah that actually looked like a wrestling move i watched it live and it oh jesus what were you saying to yourself oh holy shit it's not the spladle that's what it is the spladle spladle i said it's such a rare move for an elite oh here comes our frog frog man frog man i want to give you up frog merch look at this zips oh shit you are a frog thank you tj this rules yeah i I got you Just all kinds of All kinds of frogs
Starting point is 00:25:46 Hippity hop Get off my property Anybody want some Haribo frogs I love those Yes I didn't know they made frogs I think they're GF Nick
Starting point is 00:25:57 What happened here KB we lost the What are we talking about I think this room got Discombobulated during the Arch Madness. Don't look at me. Put it back together. Nick, did you see the spladle?
Starting point is 00:26:10 Yeah, we talked about it. I mean, what do you do when you're... That guy's begging for it, right? So the ESPN showed it for the entire minute or minute and a half that he was stuck in this. Usually this move results in an immediate pin. Why wasn't this a pin? Because this guy must be a beast. He fought it off somehow.
Starting point is 00:26:31 Didn't touch his shoulders to the mat. So he just was spladdled for a minute? Yeah. Were they announcing? They didn't change the camera angle. Now everyone's just... How does he fall? set us back maybe centuries. So nothing against him.
Starting point is 00:26:47 He's a great wrestler. He's an All-American. This is just. What goes through is, like, can he tap out? Right now, he is like, I'm waiting for the clock to run out. He is completely stuck. He's accepted his fate. Now he's probably just embarrassed and like, fuck this.
Starting point is 00:27:00 I don't think my legs go back that far. Can you try to do this to one of us? I don't even know how to do it It's one of those moves that it's so hard to hit on anyone Especially an elite wrestler that you don't even practice it You don't learn it You do it to Che? I don't know it
Starting point is 00:27:12 But I could, I could learn it and do it to Che Yeah, I would like you to learn it and do it to Che It's the most wrestling I've seen in the limelight in a very long time I know So this was embarrassing for you? A year of so many highlights See, it's embarrassing for the whole sport Everyone's making wisecracks
Starting point is 00:27:24 Why is... I mean, it's a great move. I feel like, why not celebrate the guy who made the move and be like, that's badass. You could do that all... Indiana boy, Ohio State, he's phenomenal. This is like showing a vicious dunk and then saying this set basketball back
Starting point is 00:27:39 because the guy got dunked on. But shouldn't there be some sort of code of ethics among wrestlers? You don't want to be seen. No spladles. No spladles. Right, yeah. Is there, like, a spladle day at practice where you guys work on that? So how did he learn the spladles?
Starting point is 00:27:52 It's like a cicada outbreak, I said. It never happens. Well, no, those do happen. Cicada outbreaks do happen. As I'm saying, like, every, like, decade, one goes viral. So how do you learn a spladle? If you don't teach it I mean people know
Starting point is 00:28:09 Isn't there a song that's Spladle, spladle, spladle A straddle yeah Do you know how to Get out of it if you were put in You can't get out of it You can't get out of it It's impossible to get out of
Starting point is 00:28:19 So why don't more people I've never seen anyone get out of it It's so hard to Catch someone in So is the match You know how to defend against it From happening to you? How do you get caught in a spladle? A freak occurrence I've never seen anyone get out of it. It's so hard to catch someone in. So was the match... You know how to defend against it from happening to you? How did he get caught in the spladle?
Starting point is 00:28:28 A freak occurrence. Can we see him get into it? Yeah, the origin of the spladle. I actually didn't see that. I just turned my head and saw him stuck there. Was the match over then when they got up? Yeah, yeah. That was the end of the round.
Starting point is 00:28:39 He had to wait that minute out. He should have shit himself. Yeah. But if... That would have been great for wrestling. Yeah yeah he should be applauded for his flexibility oh my god how does that even so yeah that traps the leg then get yeah oh and then he's played and then he's played old oh my god look at his face yeah look i think he accepts his fate like he knows he's like i've just been splayed old how's he not in pain he was he was in extreme pain. He's like, I've just been spladdled. How is he not in pain?
Starting point is 00:29:05 He was. He was in extreme pain. Yeah. That's why he's a beast for not getting pinned. Have you ever been spladdled? I've never been spladdled. Can you tap? Can you tap?
Starting point is 00:29:14 No, you just got to touch. You can give up and get pinned. But he didn't. No, he's a warrior. And he's a Mormon, I think. But not really because he got spladdled. That's a body type shit. One thing about me, I because he got spladdled. Like me?
Starting point is 00:29:25 One thing about me, I'll never get spladdled. So he's not really that tough. You wouldn't be able to. I will. I'm willing. Kyle, if you want to spladdled me. You could get spladdled. No, I'm saying that I would never let another man spladdled me.
Starting point is 00:29:37 You wouldn't be physically and autonomically able of getting spladdled. That's an amazing place to be. It's actually hard to happen. Yeah, so you're actually proving my point that I'm so tough I can't get splatled. No. I think my body would... I think I've been splatled.
Starting point is 00:29:54 It's so easy. Just say I'll never be splatled. I'm going to get you splatled. No, I'm never going to get splatled. Kyle, splatle him, please. I think I'd rip every... Who's the most flexible guy in the office? I feel like I'm up there. Do you want a spladle?
Starting point is 00:30:09 I wouldn't hate seeing Mincy get spladdled. I want someone to be spladdled. Mincy getting spladdled would be great. I feel like Mincy has no bones, so it would just be easy. Yeah. Jay getting spladdled would be awesome. No, like. Yeah, you need spladdled.
Starting point is 00:30:23 I mean, that was. Spladdled me, daddy. What? Show us how. That's shit, dude. Can you spladdled would be awesome. No, like. Yeah, you need to splatle. I mean, that was. Splatle me, daddy. What? Just show us how to splatle. Can you splatle? Can you get, can you? I don't know. No.
Starting point is 00:30:31 I don't remember shit. I don't want to be crass. It's the last thing I ever want to be. If he was naked, out of morbid curiosity, what did his asshole look like in that situation? Splatled. Why does a. Pog. Yeah, pog ass.
Starting point is 00:30:47 What's the airflow looking like? Going in, coming out? Yeah, it's in. Definitely. Going in. Yeah, to certain point of pressure. Is he burping farts? That's got to be as wide as a slammer pog.
Starting point is 00:30:58 You can see the butthole through. Nick, you could crawl in there, dude. I think I could. You can see the, yeah, you can. His face is perfect. He's like, like no I got splayed it almost doesn't make sense if that was like drawing I was like that that doesn't yeah I can't really I don't really know where where's his middle yeah that's and what where so his leg is, it's like a, it looks like a boa constrictor, not a boa constrictor, like a python eating an alligator. Yeah, it is. It's all twisted up.
Starting point is 00:31:33 Yeah, it's cool. I don't know. No. It's cool. Nah. That's cool. Nah. That's cool for the, that's good for the sport?
Starting point is 00:31:42 Nah, getting splayed. Oh my god. Wait, wait, look at that pervert ref. What are you doing? Doing his job. I'm really getting under there. Oh, man. Shout out to Brock Hardy.
Starting point is 00:31:57 He won his next match in the blood round of All-American, so he's a beast. Jesse Mendez. The blood round? It's the match to place top eight. Makes you an All-American. Huge honor. Got it.
Starting point is 00:32:10 Splat it. You think he's got a good sense of humor about this? Like his buddies were joking with him on the ride home? No, I don't think. That's going to take years and years in therapy to get over being splatled. I think you have to own it. If you get splatled,
Starting point is 00:32:22 like your door knocker has to be your little butt. You have to like really. Can we make him aed old, like your door knocker has to be your little, you have to like really actually, can we make him a barstool athlete and just put that on a shirt and say like, not again. What's his name? Brock Hardy. All right. So Brock Hardy, uh, I got something for you.
Starting point is 00:32:37 The act is sponsored by better help. A lot of us spend our lives wishing we had more time. The question is time for what? If time was unlimited, how would you use it? The best way to squeeze that special thing into your schedule is to know what's important to you and make it a priority. Therapy can help you find what matters to you so you can do more of it, like not getting spladdled.
Starting point is 00:32:55 If you're thinking of starting therapy, get BetterHelp.try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, as flexible as a spladdle, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist and any time for no additional charge learn to make time for what makes you happy with better help visit betterhelp.com slash yak today to get 10 off your first month that's better help help.com slash yak he needs that yeah pretty bad you don't you. You don't find this funny?
Starting point is 00:33:26 I do. Not to this extent. Yeah. Because I know where he's at. Because we've got at least 15. Oh, they posted it. Yeah, we got at least. ESPN posted it. We got 15 more minutes of Splaydell content.
Starting point is 00:33:37 Easily. For sure. Yeah, look, Bo Nickel hit one, I think, 2017. But, again, it's always an instant pin. So you don't see them stuck in that vulnerable position oh man want to get away oh oh oh my that's bad boys that's badass again i don't know i don't think so man i'm trying my best you are you're trying very hard other wrestlers have to be terrified to wrestle the splato guy
Starting point is 00:34:08 oh my god yeah that guy is dangerous he won the finals on a standing he's still trying you guys don't understand. That's a villain origin story. Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:28 He's a Mormon. He's fine. Yeah, but a Mormon who's been splatled. Has that ever been done? I don't know any Mormon. He might get kicked out of the church. Man. Yeah, I would shit instantly if I was splatled.
Starting point is 00:34:41 How long does it take for the asshole to shrink back to normal size? Is he like 48 hours? I think it's the name, too. It sounds like a fun game. Splatle, splatle, splatle. Yeah, that was a game called Splatled. I think I've been splatled before. Really? Yeah, I think I was tortured in third grade and they put me in been splatled before. Really?
Starting point is 00:35:05 Yeah, I think I was tortured in third grade and they put me in a splatle. Are you looking up Bo Nickel splatling? Let's see if there's any splatle highlights. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:13 Yeah, let's just watch all the splatles. Look, I see Bo Nickel splatles anyone. I don't know about that. But the match is over. He's pinned. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:24 We need that splatle to last longer Yeah we've never seen Anything like that And that set wrestling back Cause you're watching basketball From the eyes of the Like we wanna grow
Starting point is 00:35:39 Yeah you got all these Sports going on And then it's like boom Watch this guy get his Asshole fucking opened up On live TV Splato Yeah I think it might help wrestling Really It might help women's wrestling sports going on and then it's like boom watch this guy get his asshole fucking opened up on live tv splat yeah i think it might help wrestling really it might help women's wrestling yeah wrestling that has to be like a hot to some people i would watch wrestling if you just
Starting point is 00:35:54 guaranteed a splat every time maybe that's what we need to do yeah train only nothing but splat yeah it's like the slap wrestling's biggest enemy is the gay allegations right yeah like the yeah oh yeah every time that's and having a man oil it up having a man be for a minute and a half a gape is tough yeah yeah oh oh my god where's that's still not even as bad yeah where is that it's gotta be sorry question thank you great question butt soul butts and wait read his bio yeah what is the bio butts and feet are superior goon fuel no okay 26 000 i will say this i would say 50 of wrestling content consumed is unfortunately by gay fetishizers so this was their super Super Bowl. I brought up the YouTube. Our biggest YouTube account of all time ended up being a gay pedophile curator.
Starting point is 00:36:52 Jeez. Yeah. It's grim, if anything. Splatel. All right. Splatel. Uh-huh. Yeah, that poor guy.
Starting point is 00:37:05 I like to imagine if you get splatled, you get like exiled to an island with everyone else that's been splatled on national TV. Yeah, you have to put all your belongings in your asshole and get out of here. Yeah. Do you think like the bus back, were they talking to him?
Starting point is 00:37:21 That's what I'm wondering. I hope they could find some humor, and especially after he All-Americaned. Yeah. So I think maybe he probably joked about it, I hope. Is there any way we can get in contact with him? I'd love it. I've already started to try.
Starting point is 00:37:35 Yeah? That was the text I just sent. I know he tweets semi-actively, and he hasn't brought it up. Oh, let's see. Does he follow Big Cat? Yeah. What is his name?
Starting point is 00:37:45 Yeah, our booker Josh, who's awesome at his job, literally just texted me. He's like, should I try to reach out to Brock? I was like, yes. Yes. Right now. We'll stop the whole show for him. What's his name?
Starting point is 00:37:54 Brock Hardy. Brock Hardy. The Brock Hardy. Ah, damn. Doesn't follow me. I feel like the only way out of a spladle is to have a good sense of humor about getting spladdled. That's right.
Starting point is 00:38:07 Otherwise, you're kind of trapped in there for that stuff. I think, too, about the parents watching. That's the thing. It's such an emotional day. I think he might be a senior to wrap up their career. It's like, oh. Yeah. That's tough.
Starting point is 00:38:23 Yeah. I think he's fine. Hey, son's getting splayed old again yeah I walked in my son he was in the splayed not my son my boys just addicted to splayed on I love that this like I love that KB was watching wrestling all weekend and then the minute hit he was like no splayed oh what did you and then the minute it hit, he was like, no. Splato. Yeah, what did you say when you saw it? People are going to talk about this. I was like, please just change the camera angle.
Starting point is 00:38:51 Panda someone in the crowd. I was hoping, like, it was the quarterfinals. I was like, nah, no one's watching this. And then I saw, like, ESPN posted on Instagram, it's a wrap. Yeah. You got the wrong perspective, KB. This is like if Derrick Henry took a handoff and just ran through, like, every defender on his way to the end zone. This is like if you'reB, this is like if Derrick Henry took a handoff and just ran through every defender on his way to the end zone.
Starting point is 00:39:06 This is like if – You'd be like, this is fucking awesome. No, but no one knows the dude who hit it on him. This is embarrassing for the sport that all these defenders got bowled over. You know? Like this is – Thanks, Mark. This is like if Derrick Henry –
Starting point is 00:39:20 Celebrate the guy who did the spadeling. Yeah. That's badass, right? Thanks, Mark. The one-for-one equivalent is if Derrick Henry had his asshole stretched celebrate the guy who did the spadeling. That's badass, right? The one-for-one equivalent is if Derrick Henry had his asshole stretched on live television. I would think the guy who did that is pretty fucking badass. The guy who created the spadeling? I wouldn't want it to happen.
Starting point is 00:39:37 Yeah, right. Tell me another guy was on the mat. He took an All-American wrestler and made him spread his asshole wide open. That should be the narrative. Thank you. That's badass. I would be more afraid of a serial splatler than a serial killer. Oh, yeah. If I'm walking home from the bar and all of a sudden.
Starting point is 00:39:52 We need like dudes in street fights. Terrifying. Splatling. Now I want to like see if I can get in a fight and do it. Yeah. You leave a bar, you're like, make sure you stretch before you leave. In case you get splatled on the way. And they're always like, nobody remembers if you lose a fight.
Starting point is 00:40:07 Unless... Oh, man. Spladdling in the wild would be incredible. The Chicago spladdler. Yeah. We talked about this the majority of the rundown. Here's the map. You did?
Starting point is 00:40:16 Yeah. The entire rundown is us. Oh! Oh, no! I need to buy this picture. Yeah. Queer artist Yeah love this Looking to get splatled this weekend
Starting point is 00:40:32 Zoom Go down so you can't see his face Oh you think it's gonna be hot I'm gonna ask you guys Crop it yeah I think it could potentially be hot if it was flipped upside down so the ass is at the top
Starting point is 00:40:50 it's like he's standing over you yeah yeah but all right fuck it we don't watch the rundown if we're watching this or no do watch the rundown watch the rundown there was no sponsorown. There was no sponsor. His ass was spread long enough to where there was a smell. Absolutely. A formidable odor. If I got...
Starting point is 00:41:11 If I got splatled... Oh. Oh, my God. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:21 Yeah. TJ, can you flip it upside down for Nikki? Why? I don't... See? I mean, yeah. Yeah. TJ, can you flip it upside down for Nikki? Why? See? Yeah, you ain't lying, boy. You ain't lying. Yeah, if I got splatled, they'd have to disinfect the whole office. Yeah, right?
Starting point is 00:41:37 There would be a green cloud. Whoa. I'd have shit. Oh, my God. Do it on top of me. Do you have to pay for that effect? Oh. Smack it. Smack it on top of me. Do you have to pay for that effect? Oh. Smack it.
Starting point is 00:41:46 Smack it. Yeah. Mercy, mercy, mercy. I love the suedo because I was joking when I said we had 15 more minutes, but we've done it. Yeah. I think that's enough. That is enough.
Starting point is 00:42:13 Fucking suedo. I thought we were going to be talking about David Carr and Carter Staracci and Aaron Brooks. Who are those? Silly me. It doesn't matter at this point. Yeah, more Spleitel. Hey, shut up. Shut up for a sec. I want to hear about the Spleitel.
Starting point is 00:42:24 Why don't you tell us more about the Splaydl? Do those guys Splaydl anybody? No, it doesn't matter. I don't care. Yeah. We're a Splaydl sport now. Yeah. We got to just market the fuck out of the Splaydl. Splaydl's only league would rock.
Starting point is 00:42:36 We need an Air Jordan logo of that for wrestling. Yeah. It's like you just know the only way this match ends is a Splaydl. It's like racing for pinks. I'm actually turning a corner. I love how invested you guys are. Yeah. Awesome.
Starting point is 00:42:50 You found the only way for us to get into wrestling. Yeah. Fine by me, I guess. I feel like if you're dating and you have a kid, probably first date conversation, you should bring it up. Yeah. I feel like he's got to tell. Yes.
Starting point is 00:43:07 By the way, I need you to know something about me it's herpes too i've been spladdled once that probably says that i could be spladdled again wearing sweats spladle me once yeah shame on you spladle Splat on me twice. We know he can be splat on. I love how growing the sport comes with stretching the asshole. That's just a direct correlation. Yeah, it's a line graph. Asshole growing sport. I think I would leak.
Starting point is 00:43:38 Yeah. Oh, yeah. It would be all time. Undoubtedly. Yeah. Out of my eyes, too, I think. Oh, yeah. Even though your assholeholes in my eyes would
Starting point is 00:43:45 bleed i'd leak fluids i don't know i had personally it's like a cleanse yeah it's like a green juice yeah this is going to be like a new friend he should spinach be like yeah i feel great yeah yeah yeah be like yeah this is all you gotta do gotta get splittled every morning. So easy to shit now. People are going to pay thousands of dollars to go to splittle spas. I lost 15 pounds. I'm on a retreat. All I did was get splittled. There's going to be some yoga instructor that's going to market the hell out of this.
Starting point is 00:44:19 Yes. I'd go splittle. What was a big moment of the basketball weekend? What's a big moment of the basketball weekend? Oh, nice. What's a big moment? No Spleitels. There were no Spleitels, unfortunately. Yeah, boring. Yeah, a lot of the favorites won.
Starting point is 00:44:34 We have a great Sweet 16. Jack Golke. Jack Golke, king. Was the king there. You talked to him? Yeah, he came on PMT. He was an industry plant. He was built in a lab for March Madness.
Starting point is 00:44:47 I love everything about him. Wasn't he at the top of stat lists on three-point attempts going into the tournament? Yeah, I think so. I mean, he only takes threes. That's all he does. And we say that about a lot of players, but it's actually true about him. You say that about guys that are shooters, but they will still pass every so often. They will still dribble the basketball.
Starting point is 00:45:09 He does neither of those things. He doesn't? Okay. His bump fakes? Very little. Against Kentucky, I think he dribbled three times. He had 10 made threes, and he dribbled three times. Yeah, it was incredible. I mean, if you want to be good at basketball,
Starting point is 00:45:23 that's probably the best skill to be good at. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He was a D2 college player for four years. So he's an older guy? Oh, yeah. He's like 25.
Starting point is 00:45:32 Is he a daddy? Maybe a daddy. Maybe a zaddy. Oh, he's a father. Can we see him? Yeah. Out of curiosity. Jack Golke.
Starting point is 00:45:43 And then he had an NIL deal instantly after. I can't imagine. People got very obsessed with trying to figure out who he looks like. And I understand why, but also, like, no one seemed to, I never really saw what the consensus was. He's if Josh Duhamel was a Minecraft character. He does look like someone, though. He's older than Connor. He's older than Connor.
Starting point is 00:46:04 Yeah, two days older than Connor Griffin, just just for reference because that's a good to know it's a good it's a good reference point yeah did it and i'll do with us too right away yeah he said that his buddies when he got off the court uh against kentucky he had two friends who were like we got to capitalize he's like all right just make a email, and I'll put it in my bio and stuff. And then his friends just went through all the NIL deals and was like, all right, do this one. Oh, that's sick. That's awesome.
Starting point is 00:46:32 Yeah. He doesn't have, like, an agent or anything? No. He's just his buddy. That's awesome. He did a Buffalo Wildlings one. Jack Golke, hero. Can Yak, or should Anus, sponsor NIL deal with a wrestler?
Starting point is 00:46:48 Oh, yeah. that's genius we can make our logo real wide for him i want to get that dude super paid super paid yeah i want to get him a lot of money i feel like there's a market for it i'd wear a splainel shirt yeah yeah we could get molds making of his ass we could could make him a lot of money, but he has to understand it's going to be 100% at his expense. Yeah. Maybe. Yeah, I get it. Maybe we bring him to the office and I'll take turns spadling him. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:17 That would be awesome. Spladling. What's the word again? Spladling. I've said it over so many times. It's not even a real word anymore. It's so fun to say. Spladling. Spladling. It's not even a real word anymore. It's so fun to say. Is there always a guy in March Madness that captures America's heart?
Starting point is 00:47:32 Yeah. Seems like it. I'm a DJ Burns guy. Oh, yeah. Is that the big boy? Yeah. Yeah, you and I. He has vending machines.
Starting point is 00:47:38 Yeah, he has vending machines. That's cool. Very cool. What does that mean? Passive income. He sells vending machines. Are you sure he just doesn't have vending machines around and he stocks them? No, he said that he has like four or five and they just make money for him.
Starting point is 00:47:51 You can buy one for like one to two grand. Yeah, I might just do a vending machine. What would you put in it? I don't know. You could put anything, I guess. Maybe like key chains of the spladle. Yeah, it's got to just go back to that. Maybe we just do pretzels.
Starting point is 00:48:07 Should we do a spladle coin? Oh, we should do a spladle coin. If anyone brings it out, they can spladle us. They can spladle us. You run into anybody probably. Take it upon yourself to learn the spladle. Flip it in. I think we've gone...
Starting point is 00:48:19 There was a moment at first when KB introduced it, it was like, this is embarrassing. Then we reached a nice sweet spot where he was in on it. Now I think we've gone to the other side where he's like, you fuckers better stop talking about the Splato. We're trying to monetize the Splato. I think that's the- I'm kind of getting sensitive. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:46 It's such a funny thing to say out loud Like yeah I'm not gonna lie guys I'm sensitive I kinda am About this spladle We have We can get Malasek down here He's got something for us What?
Starting point is 00:48:58 Yeah If it's not a spladle I don't want it Does he have a song for us? Connor you wanna get him down here? He's got an idea that I like a lot. So Virginia embarrassed the world, and I told him that, I mean, I was joking when I said that people were asking me to fire him,
Starting point is 00:49:17 but he took it very seriously, and he was like, I'll come up with something. He came up with a punishment for himself. Oh, good. Nice. Yeah. Want to do the High Noon ad? Sure do. High Noon. Thank you to them. The High Noon El Prez
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Starting point is 00:50:00 was the circumference of a high noon can you could have used that man as a koozie. A man koozie. Is that a genre yet? Oh, for sure. You think so? Absolutely, yes. You think there's like rich elite bars where there are man koozies that you drink out of? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:17 Yeah, it's got to be. I'd like to think. What's up, Jake? What's up, guys? Hey, Jake. Hey. What's up? How you doing?
Starting point is 00:50:22 Good. Want to get spladdled? That did look kind of fun. Oh, my God's done he just killed it yeah that sucked dude the last time we'll ever yeah look kind of fun yeah uh all right so Jake you have something for yeah um for those that didn't see uh Tuesday night Virginia my school put up 14 points in the first half and then was one of the worst basketball schools ever. We'd say the other part. What?
Starting point is 00:50:51 And then we lost to Colorado state. And then what happened? What do you mean? Colorado state. The next game. Oh yeah. Then they put up 11 points in the first half. Like we, we ruined that little area.
Starting point is 00:51:02 Poisoned the whole tournament. Yeah. And then Texas put up 19 points. We infected college basketball as a whole. So then Big Cat, the next day, brought me into his office and was like, look, dude, you got to fucking figure something out to fix this. Because that was embarrassing for not only college basketball, but the company as a whole.
Starting point is 00:51:23 So the idea, and this came from as a whole um so the idea and this came from mark blutman the idea this is a mark blutman special um was i sent tj all the schools so it's every school that made the tournament plus the schools that were left out so that virginia could get put in we would spin that wheel whatever school it lands on i will take a summer class this summer get a certification or a summer credit or whatever of whatever class of your guys is choosing yep i have to get what b minus c plus b whatever grade you guys want to set it and then if i think you get an f too i have to just pass the class that's no you don't even have to pass it okay whatever so just try i'll take the class i'll document the
Starting point is 00:52:04 class and then at the end of the summer i'll have a degree from another school and i will root i'll Okay, whatever. Just try. I'll take the class. I'll document the class. And then at the end of the summer, I'll have a degree from another school, and I'll get a shirt. That's not how degrees work. Whatever. I'll have a class credit. Whatever, whatever. This guy went to Virginia.
Starting point is 00:52:17 How is it possible? You won't have a certificate or a degree. You'll have a class credit. Also, there's a really good chance that we're going to land on a school you cannot take a class in. So you can do Yale. Really? If you pay for it, they'll let you take a summer class. Okay. Like intro to French.
Starting point is 00:52:33 We get to pick the class, and if there's any sort of oral presentation, we get to write it. Yes. All right, deal. And I want you to also give us a presentation at the end of your class. Recapping everything you learned. And this is your new school that you're rooting for. Well, I will do a shirt, and I will root for that school on top of Virginia for the next year. Okay, I like that.
Starting point is 00:52:51 I will tweet out and root for that school's athletic program for the calendar year. So what's the worst-case scenario here for you? Is that a Duke? Yeah. North Carolina would be not fun. Yeah. Clemson? Yeah, anything in the acc would kind of suck i i mean yale would also be kind of annoying because it's probably going to be kind of hard yeah are you worried they're going to suck once you start cheering for them and then everyone's
Starting point is 00:53:15 going to blame you that yeah we're going to have i have data points of you cheering for shitty team i haven't really taken that into account i'm kind of just i don't know this is a good penance yeah i'm trying to fix what we did to the sport can i add something to this sure i think that you should have to maybe go to the school and graduate in person it's not graduate i mean buy a graduation robe and give yourself a ceremony okay yeah sure okay deal yeah i like that all right so that's that's the that's the idea so here's the uh so this is all i i did add virginia to this wheel by the way so there's a chance that we get virginia but this is all the schools that made the tournament plus i believe eight-ish schools that were on the bubble that got left out okay all right but one
Starting point is 00:54:00 spin is going to kind of be anticlimactic. So let's do it this way. Let's do six spins, and then we'll put those teams on a wheel. All right. The elimination wheel. Deal. That way we can have a little intrigue. I like that. Yeah. I was going to say 14 spins for the amount of points you scored,
Starting point is 00:54:21 but that then makes another big wheel that's tough. Six. All right, so six teams will make the final six. wheel that's tough. Six teams will make the final six. Yeah. Alright. Everyone knows, final six. Okay. Oh man, I really want a bad score.
Starting point is 00:54:35 I want Mississippi State. Oh yeah. Oh. Baylor. Okay. Alright. Did they take Jews? Is that a thing? Ooh, Baylor. All right. Okay. All right. Did they take Jews?
Starting point is 00:54:47 Is that a thing? Baylor. Oh, BYU would rock. That would be fun. Oh. Ooh, Morehead State. Where is that? Hate that play.
Starting point is 00:55:02 Oh, we need him to get grambling. Morehead can tell. Howard. Howard would rock. Oh, we need him to get Grambling. More head can tell. Howard. Howard would rock. Oh, Howard. Yes. Oregon. Creighton. Oregon.
Starting point is 00:55:14 Oregon. Cool. So far, so good. Yeah. Who's schools to root for? Baylor. I don't like Baylor. Oh.
Starting point is 00:55:24 Oh. They'll pay you to go. Arizona, yeah. We'll never see you again if you go to Tucson and start taking class. No, Malasek. An asexual at Arizona. That's true, yeah. That's a good point. He'd be horrified.
Starting point is 00:55:36 St. John's. Cool. How many was that? Five. This is the last one. Let's do one more. Sit. Is that Michigan State? Do one more.
Starting point is 00:55:57 I mean, we want Howard, right? Go until we get Howard. Ooh, that's bad. All Alright, so what do we have? We have Baylor, Moorhead NC State, Michigan State Seton Hall, Oregon No, St. John's St. John's, Oregon, Arizona
Starting point is 00:56:19 And what was the 8th? Was anyone paying attention? No There's 7 Also Seton Hall, right? And what was the eighth? Was anyone paying attention? No. No. There's seven. There's seven. Also, it was Seton Hall, right? Yeah, it was Seton Hall.
Starting point is 00:56:30 Oh, he said eight, so we got to spin one more. We're at seven. Spin one more. Elite eight. Elite eight. Elite eight. Come on. Show me Howard.
Starting point is 00:56:42 Texas. Texas. You got some big dogs. Good schools. Yeah, yeah. All right, so now we go lead eight elimination. And NC State's really the only one that would be not great. And then Quiggs would be mad at me the entire summer.
Starting point is 00:56:57 Yeah, because are you going to curse this school, you think? Probably. I think so, yeah. Yeah. Can you even apply to Howard as a white guy? Yeah, they'll take you. They'll take you? They had a white guy on the football team.
Starting point is 00:57:06 Oh, really? I think they had two white guys on the basketball team. Gotcha. This is going to be fun. And then we've got to pick the class. Maybe tomorrow you've got to come back with a list of classes. We'll pick. Should we wheel the class? No, we'll pick the class.
Starting point is 00:57:22 Yeah, we don't want you to end up with history or something. No, I think something in the women's studies. Oh. For sure. Come on over. What's your degree in? American Studies. What?
Starting point is 00:57:33 That's your degree? Yeah. What is that? I went to Virginia for American Studies. What's American Studies? Why did your parents try to talk you out of that? So I transferred to Virginia. So I was an econ major at Trinity College.
Starting point is 00:57:48 And then when I went to Virginia my sophomore year, I kind of was too late for a lot of like the – like I wanted to do media studies as my major, but I was too late to take the prereqs for that. So I just did the easiest one and then taught myself the rest of the stuff for this job on the side. So I knew I wanted to do stuff like this out of college but you taught yourself barstool no i taught like video editing photoshop stuff like that what did you do just follow solely so i i like i worked in the athletic
Starting point is 00:58:15 department i would do like side jobs for different like small companies that would you know help me get a job in this sort of field after graduation but my degree was basically just to get the piece of paper who interviewed major possible uh jack mccarthy and gas what jobs do people with american studies typically i don't know this one but what were you i took like three native american studies classes those like filled a lot of nice hat yep oh yeah you're allowed um no it's a lot of like it's a lot it was like anthropology mixed with american history was the major it was a very pointless major and it was a lot of the athletes were in the class like it was not a hard it was like known as the easy major in that school yeah job it's not even capital wait yeah it's you couldn't even capitalize the whole thing. Digital marketer?
Starting point is 00:59:05 Yeah, I don't know. It was a bullshit major that I got to graduate. Typical employers. Charities? Hmm. Yeah, American Studies. 65% of American Studies majors are employed. Nice. Good job.
Starting point is 00:59:24 Yep. you are like a quintessential mimbo and i say that loving i don't know what that means you're a bimbo male bimbo okay yeah i mean you're a hot guy thanks but you just sat down you're like i'm gonna get a degree no but i a credit i'll have a crowd i'll have a credit from a school you'll be a student at that school you'll be yeah exactly part of the student right yeah i'll get a shirt i'll i'll be uh wow yeah you should start an org okay at the school like a club yeah summer club some virginia club yeah yeah the virginia club at oregon
Starting point is 01:00:01 i'll go to whatever. Let's do a video. All right. Yeah, can I add something? You have to go to like a party. Yeah. Okay. You have to like do something fun.
Starting point is 01:00:11 Go to a football game in the student center. Wait, you have to pledge. Yeah. You also have to have sex with someone from that school. You do. I'm out. Well, no, you have to. You have to. You could jerk off on campus. I'm out. You have to. You could jerk off on campus.
Starting point is 01:00:28 In a bathroom. Deal. Alright, let's do it. Alright, this is elimination. What do we want here? NC State. I have no idea what I want. That would have probably been the coolest.
Starting point is 01:00:44 Yeah, but that wouldn't have... Yeah, we don't want Texas. I think he is dreading Moorhead State and NC State the most. Where would he not want to go? Yeah, that's fine. Seton Hall's gone. I feel like Oregon's kind of a pan he has to get to. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:56 Good point. Where's Baylor? Texas. Waco, Texas. Oh, right. Waco, Texas No Alright He's gonna get to go to Arizona Yeah, it's gonna be Arizona Damn, what a punishment
Starting point is 01:01:13 And they're good at basketball And they're like the opposite of Virginia All they do is score Yeah God damn it Fuck We still have Moorhead State on there Could he drive to Michigan State?
Starting point is 01:01:27 Yeah, he's... Yeah. He's getting out. God damn, this sucks. Oregon's a cool school to root for, too. This is dope. It's going to be Arizona. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:44 It's going to be Arizona. Great idea, Jake. Thanks, guys. This. It's gonna be Arizona. Great idea, Jake. Thanks, guys. This is not a punishment at all. You have to go with Slatman. This is go to a cool school for a weekend. Nick. Fuck.
Starting point is 01:01:56 Yeah. Say the three words. Nope, I do. Yes! All right, spin the big wheel again. That's not a no-bye do. Bang! Last minute.
Starting point is 01:02:10 Wow. Yes, yes. Buzzer beater no-bye do. He never saw it coming. He never saw it coming. Bro, you thought Nick hadn't used his no-bye do yet. You moron. Where's Jake going?
Starting point is 01:02:25 No. Seton Hall. That's me again. Nope, I do. I'll go to Seton Hall. I'm just going to fake him, go to the worst. Duke. Duke.
Starting point is 01:02:41 Anyone want to use it? What does that say? Anyone want to go to Vermont? Nope, I do. All right. I love syrup. Nice, dude. Anyone want to use it? What does that say? Anyone want to go to Vermont? Nope, I do. All right. I love syrup. Nice, Kate. All right.
Starting point is 01:02:52 Luke, do you think we can get a comedy show in Tucson? No, they're too hot. Marquette? Anyone want to go to Marquette? All nope I do on Brandon's behalf. Brandon's going to Marquette. Brandon, if he was here, he would nope-i-do. How many do we got left?
Starting point is 01:03:08 Three? No. Oh, dude, you don't understand how this is working now, clearly. Wait. No. Wake Forest. Nope-i-do. Okay, all right, Moog.
Starting point is 01:03:20 Moog's nope-i-do. So KB's got nope-i-do. Titus has nope-i-do. Yep. TJ, Connor yeah Stephanie That should be off the wheel yeah, that's a that's a no Connor nope I do Texas he's gonna go to Texas all right No, nah, what does that say? That was dog, dog, nope, I do that.
Starting point is 01:03:51 I don't think so. Stephanie nope, I do that one. Yeah, she loves them. Nah, you can't do that. How's he doing? You can't do that. How's he doing? You can't do that. This is bullshit. Do you guys just want to make me do Howard?
Starting point is 01:04:13 Yes. Yeah. I think we should just make him do Mississippi State. Oh, is that? That's Drake. Oh, Drake. I thought it was Duke. We should make him do Mississippi State.
Starting point is 01:04:21 Yeah. Or why don't we just put the wheel of the ones that we want? Yeah, just pick. Oh, that's a good idea. We all get a pick. Yeah. All right. All right. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:30 Good call. All right. We all get a pick. That was smart, Titus. Yeah. Just do it that way. Good call. All right.
Starting point is 01:04:36 I'll pick Mississippi State. I'll do Grambling State. This will be final. No more no-bye dues. The no-bye duesdos are so electric. Do you want me to read out? I have the list. Do you want me to read out some names?
Starting point is 01:04:48 Yeah, give me some names. The good ones, I guess, would be Yale, BYU. Let's throw Yale on there. I'll take BYU. Okay. You could do Longwood, JMU. Oh, throw in Indiana State. Duke, Indiana State.
Starting point is 01:05:06 We won't do Duke. We won't make you go ACC. Okay. That's fair. Grambling. Howard. I don't know where Samford is, but Samford's on there. I think it's Georgia.
Starting point is 01:05:18 St. Peter's is on there. Yes, New Jersey. Montana State, Boise State. Another one. Oh, Northwestern, throw Northwestern on there South Florida No I think this looks good Mississippi State
Starting point is 01:05:36 Grambling, Yale BYU, Indiana State Howard, Northwestern Do you guys feel good about this? Any that we missed? Scrap? Why Northwest, Howard, Northwestern. Do you guys feel good about this? Anything that we missed? Scrap? Why Northwestern? Why Northwestern?
Starting point is 01:05:48 Just because it's close and he'd actually have to maybe go in person. Go to class. Yeah, right. Yeah, I like that. You'd have to do an in-person class. Where's Montana State? Bozeman? Are we talking about Montana boys?
Starting point is 01:05:57 Montana boys? He'd be the first to touch one. He could be a Montana boy. I'm not jacked enough to be a Montana boy. He could absolutely be a Montana boy. All right, I think these to be a Montana boy. He could absolutely be a Montana boy. All right, I think these are good. Yeah, this is how we should have done from the get-go. You didn't make that wheel with all the schools, did you?
Starting point is 01:06:10 I sent it to TJ. Oh, damn. Oh, whoops. This is how we should have done it the whole time. Retcon, retcon. So this is elimination as well? Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 01:06:22 And then let's pick his class. Yeah, they're all on the website. I mean, they really just don't. The wheel just really doesn't want Howard. They just don't get it. The wheel just doesn't. The wheel has no sense of humor. No sense of humor.
Starting point is 01:06:40 That guy wearing the largest Yale sweater. Is he a wide man? I think he's like a world-class rower. He's got to be a rower. This is good. This is really good. I feel good about this. I kind of want Northwestern.
Starting point is 01:06:56 Yeah, Northwestern would be fun because he's just having to go in person. Okay. These are all great options. Great three options. Which one are you leaning, Jake? I would like Northwestern. I wouldn't hate BYU. Okay, well.
Starting point is 01:07:12 All right. Look at that. Cool. Best of seven? So four means that you're not going to that school. Okay. Yeah, four is off. Cool.
Starting point is 01:07:25 Northwestern's up 1-0. I would love for you to have to go to a BYU party. Yeah. I think you'd be perfect for that. I think you'd be right up my street. You play guitar. Rule number one, don't have sex on this campus. Yep.
Starting point is 01:07:36 Yeah. You bring just a briefcase full of Pepsi. Kind of like being a front row lecture guy at Northwest. Wait, but Northwestern's up 2-0 now. Oh, is that? If Northwestern sweeps, you have to piss yourself in class. Fuck. 2-1.
Starting point is 01:07:54 So four, I'm not going. Yeah, you are. I think you're just, I think we're just going to have to go to Northwest. I think you should go to Northwest. Yeah, all right, you're going to go to Northwest. All right. So summer class at Northwestern. How have we figured this out?
Starting point is 01:08:08 Yeah, cool. Yeah, him sitting in class, like actually getting pictures of him in class. Hand out pamphlets on the quad. I want you to leave your phone on loud, and we get to pick your ringtone and call you. They have like some, I think they have like a business campus downtown too,
Starting point is 01:08:25 so you could even do that. I'm confused. How would he be able to get in? Yeah, how's he going to get in? I think so. You've got to figure that out. The way I looked at it, so let's see. So if you Google Northwestern like summer class,
Starting point is 01:08:34 I did the Yale one just because I thought that was the hardest one to do. Sure. It was like five grand to go to the class for the summer. Where are you going to get that money? It's going to have to pull from the tech class. That was Yale, so I figured everything else would be cheaper than Yale. Northwestern is very expensive. So summer.
Starting point is 01:08:48 Am I? Let's go put Indiana State back on the wheel. Am I paying for this? I'm okay paying for this, but I need to know if I'm paying for this. I mean, let's see. I'm curious what the Northwestern summer sessions look like. This is a classic yak thing where it's like. I'm happy to pony up for this.
Starting point is 01:09:04 Guess what? Jake is $100,000 for tuition. Yeah, he's tricking you into a really good degree. Yeah, he's getting his fucking master's on the yak dime. Okay. Tuition. Oh, $2,000. Tuition per course course $5,400
Starting point is 01:09:25 Listen, I believe in education So we'll figure it out What the fuck They really nickel and dime you You know what, I'll make a deal with you, Jake I will pay for this class If you get less than a B You have to retake it and pay for it yourself
Starting point is 01:09:42 Oh my god I think that's fair. That's fair. Because I don't want to waste my money on you just fucking around in class. No, very fair. And I will take this very seriously. You got to actually try. I'm going to be a real parent here.
Starting point is 01:09:53 Yeah, you have to get your monies for these random three college credits. Yeah. No, absolutely. And I will take this very seriously. Income tax. Oh, it's fine. The hardest class for him. Oh, Arabic.
Starting point is 01:10:03 He just never gets out of it. African studies. Arabic. Arabic. He never gets out of it. African studies. Arabic? Arabic. He never gets out of class. Asian languages. He just goes broke having to take classes over and over. This is a nightmare.
Starting point is 01:10:13 Gender studies. Italian, Japanese. Yeah. Math. Music studies. Jazz. Oh, philosophy wouldn't be terrible. Get our boy.
Starting point is 01:10:24 Swahili. Wait, no. St be terrible. Get our boy. Swahili. Wait, no, string instruments. Yeah. Piano. Or just voice. And he has to sing. Oh, what about marital and family therapy? Oh, I like that.
Starting point is 01:10:41 I think philosophy would be funny. I think voice. What is voice? Oh, we should do. Wait, wait, funny. I think voice. What is voice? Ooh, we should do. Wait, wait, wait. Yeah, yeah, voice. What about Latina? Hold on.
Starting point is 01:10:52 That's way too sexy. Yeah, no. What about Latina and Latino studies, and we have Nadeau be your tutor? His tutor. So what does this say? That's a bummer. That's a real bummer. We got to find one. Oh, okay. But that's a bummer that's a real bummer we gotta find one
Starting point is 01:11:07 oh okay but that's okay he can still go up there can we see what the he could go he could go up there and take his online class that shit four hours long
Starting point is 01:11:14 I want yeah man god damn you're going to school look at voice that's four hours long Monday Thursday
Starting point is 01:11:21 and Friday is there a is there a filter TJ for race class and gender might not be a filter, TJ, for in-person? Race, class, and gender might not be a terrible thing because we can just drop that on people when they're like, barstool. We're like, well, we have a race, class, and gender major. He's teaching us sympathy.
Starting point is 01:11:34 Yeah. All right, we'll find something good. Yeah, do you want me to look up some stuff tonight and bring a list tomorrow? Yeah, find the ones that make sense. Yeah, these are nice. Evanston Campus. How long is it, though? some stuff tonight and bring a list tomorrow. Find the ones that make sense. Evanston Campus. How long is it, though? How many weeks?
Starting point is 01:11:54 Analyzing media tax. That's boring, though. Do you have a car? Yeah. This sucks for you, dude. No, this is exciting. This is a horrible punishment. Homework in the summer, after work. That's alright. Income tax, dude. No, this is exciting. It's a horrible punishment. I mean, horrible. Homework in the summer, after work, that's... It's alright.
Starting point is 01:12:07 Income tax, accounting. Oh, income tax. That would be fun. Studies. Let's picture him giving an oral presentation. What would be the funniest? Yeah. Gender studies. Yeah, probably. Yeah. Alright, we'll make a list. I'll make a list tonight of some
Starting point is 01:12:23 and you guys prefer in person, I would assume. Toxic homoeroticism? Yep. Oh, yep, yep, yep,
Starting point is 01:12:30 yep, yep, yep, yep. Bad feminists, toxic homoerotic besties, girls and their girlfriends, whatever that means.
Starting point is 01:12:38 How do we understand the contrast of women's relations with other women? Yes. Bingo. I'm not going to take this class without jerking off.
Starting point is 01:12:44 Listen, I will tell you this. Bingo. I'm not going to take this class without jerking off. Listen, I will tell you this. Bingo. I will crush this class. This is essentially what I did in college. Oh, that's only a month and a half. Perfect. Samantha English.
Starting point is 01:12:53 But it is 10 a.m. to 12.30. That's cool. I'll give you, I mean, I will excuse you. That's the summer. Yeah, yeah. Can we look up her Rate My Professor? I know, but like, there's no like. Hold on.
Starting point is 01:13:03 We work in the summer. I understand, but like. I was like, well, it's summer break. It's not like it's football season or anything. It's more relaxed. Okay, that's it. All right, so what is it? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:13:14 Toxic homoeroticism at Northwest. Hetero. That's like the spladle. Less than one, yeah. I can't wait for this. Holy shit. Toxic homoeroticism. This is perfect.
Starting point is 01:13:23 Northwestern. And that's in person. Yeah. Sick. All right, cool. So I'll come tomorrow with some more information on that. Okay. See if we have any money problems.
Starting point is 01:13:34 All right, cool. What a waste of money. Yep. Jesus Christ. I don't know. This could be really, really good. All right, cool. It just gets woke.
Starting point is 01:13:41 Wait, stay here because we've got to do a yak gauntlet. Okay. It's sponsored today by our friends at long john silvers it's fried fish season enjoy wildcat alaska pollock hand battered and fried to perfection at long john silvers we have more than fish this february 14th through march 31st indulge in our ten dollar shrimp sea shares perfect for sharing with loved ones or savor our $6 shrimp baskets, popcorn, shrimp,
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Starting point is 01:14:22 restaurants and discounts, not valid for delivery orders. We'll just shoot on one side because we have the gun is out how much gun time did you get past few days a lot so whoever goes just shoot one
Starting point is 01:14:36 basket and then after you shoot it just run and touch the other line and then run back you just use the gun yeah but it's it's like it would be like two seconds I guess you could just use the gun. Yeah, but it's like, it would be like two seconds. I guess you could just use the gun. Yeah, you know what? Let's just use the gun because then there will be chaotic when the gun just keeps spitting out balls.
Starting point is 01:14:56 Yeah, we'll set up the gun. So that'll be good. Use it a lot. Titus was on it a lot. It's the best thing I'm addicted to it Has ever happened to my life It's amazing
Starting point is 01:15:09 My fingertips are cracking Which is awesome Yeah Were your forearms sore? Yeah Yeah I was just going like at random times And just being like
Starting point is 01:15:17 Let me just make a hundred free throws And it would take a while Nate has a speed dating video coming out today at 4. What? I'm going to be glued to the screen. Who? Barstool Nate. Shout out Nate getting me the one login
Starting point is 01:15:33 for my one day a year blog. Yeah. It's huge. He was like, I thought someone died because I just texted him. I was like, I need my one login. I got to get this blog out. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:44 What if he didn't approve it? That would have been really funny. Maybe next year. Yeah. So speed dating at 4 o'clock? I'm very excited for that. He already did it or he's doing it live? He did it. I think it was
Starting point is 01:15:57 and the video's coming out at 4. I was reading speed dating's making a huge comeback because people are getting so tired of the online dating thing that it's like it makes sense. All over. Yeah. Just meet as many people as you can. Too much camera trickery nowadays.
Starting point is 01:16:13 Do you think they can find a wife during this. Nate. What is the premise of the dating show. I think somebody else is in his ear and somebody's talking for. Shit. I hope Malasek meets the love of his life in class and then it's like a rom-com. He's going to be like,
Starting point is 01:16:28 I work at Barstool Sports. She's not. So he has to decide between his career or love. What's that Julia Stiles movie? It's kind of like that. 10 Things I Hate About You. Yeah. Sing it to her in the bleachers.
Starting point is 01:16:43 How you doing, Malasek? Good. Yeah. I'm excited. You're a well-rounded You went to Virginia and now you're going to have some credits for Northwestern? You're also just a certified weirdo Because I can't think of anything that I would want to do less than go back to school It sounds so off It sounds like hell
Starting point is 01:17:02 Dude, the assignment, the fucking discussion post Oh my god Essay I kind discussion post. Oh, my God. Essay. I kind of miss it. Oh, what? I literally have nightmares about being back in school. Homework stinks. It's two days a week.
Starting point is 01:17:15 What do you miss about it? There's no better feeling when you get to that level of adult where you're like, yeah, I'm actually done. I'm never going to go back to school. I took my last test. Yeah, I will never do this thing done. I'm never going to go back to school. I took my last test. Yeah, I will never do this thing again. I feel like I don't read enough books. I feel like it'd be nice to read. Get ready to read homoeroticism, buddy.
Starting point is 01:17:33 Wait, present the yak book. Oh, yes. You guys should send me with stuff. Yeah. Whatever you wanted me to bring to class, I'll bring to class. We should actually try to figure out what exactly, yeah. What's his punishment for not getting in? I don't think he gets in.
Starting point is 01:17:49 No, I get in. They want money. He went to Virginia. Yeah, I have a great resume. I don't understand. You can't just pay for a bunch of classes from a top university. No, I'll do research. I'm pretty sure you're able to take a class.
Starting point is 01:18:07 Summer classes, I think, take anybody. They just want the money. And I can't imagine, no shade to this class, but I can't imagine people are lining up to take this over the summer. But yeah, it should be fun. We're going to need updates on everything.
Starting point is 01:18:22 Yeah, for sure. Two days a week. That's torture. Four and a for sure Two days a week That's torture Four and a half Five hours a week Torture That's horrible Jake That's literal torture No
Starting point is 01:18:31 That is the You could not pay me Any amount of money to go back to school No No But I'm not going back to school Yeah you are Making a lot of class
Starting point is 01:18:41 100% what you're doing It's one class Back to school Barely school You're taking all you're doing the only worst part about college yes you don't get all the how far is northwestern from here what's the without traffic probably like 25 30 minutes oh great oh okay you get out of this class at 12 30 you can come right to the yak and report exactly yeah perfect pop up lake shore you got this it's to be easy. I might even get, I'm going to shoot for an A.
Starting point is 01:19:09 I'm going to get an A in this class. Slow down. Toxic homoeroticism. It would be so funny if he just was like the star of the class. You need to be sitting front row. Yep. Get accepted to Northwestern. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:19:22 What was your GPA in American Studies? No, but isn't that for like a real school, TJ? Yeah. That's got to be for like- This would be great if he doesn't get in. This would be- He's not. I feel like for summer school, they would probably take anybody.
Starting point is 01:19:33 I mean, my- I think you're right. They have a reputation. My high school was hard to get into, but the summer school, they would take anybody. Your high school? Yeah. It's a money trap. If you don't get in-
Starting point is 01:19:43 This is Northwestern. If you don't get in, I thinkern if you don't get in i think we're just gonna have to have mincy teach you about homeroom okay deal monday wednesday 10 to 12 30 i don't want him to take it too oh man yeah i don't know if mince is gonna cost me oh my god if the door said push mincy does have it going for him that if he showed someone his resume, they'd be like, well, he's a doctor because he went to school for like 12 years. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:10 I don't know. Did he graduate? Oh. I don't know. Yeah, that's a toss-up. That's a big toss-up. Did Vincey graduate college? Did he go to Ole Miss?
Starting point is 01:20:23 I'm going to say no. He's in South Bend right now, right? Can we check in on his status? Oh, yeah. Do you have him tagged? He's been forgetting that tag a lot. What? Where's he been?
Starting point is 01:20:35 He'll, like, leave it in his hotel room or something. We're going to have to physically tag him. We're going to have to put a chip behind his ear. Bezos is going to have to get us a chip. I check in on it a lot, and it'll be like, hasn't moved in 14 hours. That still might be him. It'll be like 5 p.m. He's at the Joyce Center in Notre Dame, Indiana.
Starting point is 01:20:52 Oh, he is right now? Yes. Okay. So he's doing it. He's actually doing it. All right. Do you want to do the gauntlet real quick? Long John Silver's. So you want to spin the wheel? Let's see who it is. One of us got to do the gauntlet real quick? Long John Silver's.
Starting point is 01:21:05 So you want to spin the wheel? Let's see who it is. One of us got to do it. Eliminator or just first go? Mookie. Mookie, get on up there. You feeling first go? Mookie. Mookie, get on up there. You feeling confident today? Feeling good.
Starting point is 01:21:32 Set some records. Yeah, set a record. Who went on Wednesday who did, like, really good at... Wait, who was that? Pete. Oh, Pete. No. No, someone, like, crushed the beginning. Who was it
Starting point is 01:21:46 My brain is Oh my god This is actually Pathetic of us It was a new guy Who was it Pat Bev went But he didn't do very well
Starting point is 01:21:57 I can't even picture What they look like I just know they did Really well This is embarrassing Was it the funk man No we didn't have Funk do it
Starting point is 01:22:04 Funk didn't do it Who the fuck was embarrassing. Was it the funk man? No, we didn't have funk. Funk didn't do it. Who the fuck was it, guys? Was it Brandon? Brandon? Oh, Brandon. It was Brandon. Brandon did very well to start.
Starting point is 01:22:13 Yes. He did, yes. Yes. His soccer kicks were impressive. I was surprised by that. Oh, the eye patch is tough. Yeah, the eye patch
Starting point is 01:22:23 makes it hard. I don't like it. So do we want the gun to actually function. I think he's going to have to run down, touch the line, and then shoot on this hoop again. Yeah. Yeah.. Good. good uh tj we have the sport court ready yep all right all right long john silvers thinking long john silvers should we count them down ready three two one go 3, 2, 1, go! Oh, wow.
Starting point is 01:23:26 Wrap. Done. Night. See you, Mook. Bye-bye. Oh, wait. Do we have the gun set up? Yeah, but I think he's just going to run and touch the baseline and then run back. Okay.
Starting point is 01:23:37 There. Ooh! Hold on. Let me see if I can get the gun set up. Oh, jeez. Should we add Splaydol to the gauntlet? I think so Splaydol, Sporkle Answer the questions
Starting point is 01:23:55 While you're being Splaydoled That's what Dustin Trivia needs To have everybody's ass spread As they're answering questions Malasek Everybody's ass spread as they're answering questions. Malicek. Malicek. Get comfortable.
Starting point is 01:24:13 Oh, no. Oh, look at that. Move. Split. Yeah, split. Oh, no. Oh, no. And his eye patch is off I only had a minute Mook Did Mook play sports growing up?
Starting point is 01:24:34 Baseball I thought he was throwing it at him There it is. He's still getting hit. He's still getting hit. I think that hit the camera. Yup. I think that hit the camera. Yep. All right.
Starting point is 01:25:16 With the gun. Okay. Not going to help the time. There it goes. Oh! to help with time. There it goes. Oh! He's been practicing. Woo-hoo. Uh-oh, it's continuing to shoot the balls.
Starting point is 01:25:31 Mook! Wow. Trivia. Still good. Solid. Oh, yeah. Two of his common bowling ball weights. 8, 12, 14, 16. Oppenheimer.
Starting point is 01:25:53 His time's not that bad, though. Carmelo Anthony. Patrick Ewing. Tim Duncan Highest suicide rate Japan China Four longest tenure coaches in NFL history 10 beat era authors
Starting point is 01:26:22 Andy Reid Bill Belichick. The Bar. Oh, man. Blink-182 albums? Nope. States with the longest coastlines? California. California.
Starting point is 01:26:45 Maine. New Jersey. California. Maine. New Jersey. This is pathetic. You also got to blink when I eat two of them there. Fuck. Three more. Come on, Mook. States with the longest coastlines.
Starting point is 01:27:00 Texas. Yeah. What? It has to get fucked. Wow. Jeez. I was way wrong. Texas Yeah What? It has to get fucked Wow Jeez I was way wrong What are you saying? Why are you saying tiny states
Starting point is 01:27:09 Like Maine I don't know Florida And Oh give me one more Oregon Maybe Nope
Starting point is 01:27:22 One more coach You're real big Oh what about six members of chicago outfit i've i got no you don't know the most famous one no damn uh it's brutal i can't think of any. States. The biggest one. I'm forgetting a doozy. Arizona. Top rated movies by Jeff DeLore. Arizona coastline.
Starting point is 01:27:50 Utah. I'm trying to think west coast. Holy shit. Utah. Have you ever looked at one map? I'm not a map guy. You don't have to be a map guy. You have to be a third grader. There's one with the longest by far.
Starting point is 01:28:05 It's not one of the 48. Hawaii? No. That might be. Oh, maybe. That was painful. We were looking for Alaska. Alaska.
Starting point is 01:28:15 That doozy. Louisiana? I'm not a map guy. Not a map guy. Al Capone was what I was talking about. Malasek bodied me, dude. Yeah, he did. He still had to finish everything with a map guy. Al Capone was what I was talking about. Malasek bodied me, dude. Yeah, he did. He still had to finish everything with a great time.
Starting point is 01:28:29 That was a terrible, that was a bad time. That was my worst time. Kicked your ass. Just standing at the gun made me excited. Dude, I love. You've been doing it, right? Nailed both of your students. Gone in every day, shooting every day.
Starting point is 01:28:44 So much fun uh by the way draft kings uh the thrill and excitement of march mania is here draft king sportsbook one of america's top rated sportsbook apps is giving new customers a shot to turn five bucks into 150 dollars instantly in bonus bets with any college basketball bet uh we have all the lines out uh north carolina's playing alabama north carolina's minus four that's coming up on thursday we got yukon playing san diego state championship rematch all in the drafting sportsbook uh north carolina listeners you have all three of your teams still in unc duke nc state and drafting Sportsbook is live in your state now. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app.
Starting point is 01:29:27 Use code YAK. New customers can bet $5 to get $150 instantly in bonus bets. Only at DraftKings Sportsbook with code YAK. The crown is yours. Cornelius, please let me run the gauntlet on 4-5. Cornelius. What? Who's saying that?
Starting point is 01:29:49 I think that's a message from the guy that makes these squiricles. Oh. Okay, Cornelius. No, Cornelius is the real first name of Corey Matthews on Boy Meets World. But this guy... We'll let Cornelius. If Cornelius shows proof of ID, he can run the gauntlet. Yep, and it's real easy to fake us out.
Starting point is 01:30:05 Real easy. Yeah, I would say this guy has made probably 90% of this work. Oh, yeah. We owe him something. Yes, you can run it, Cornelius. Don't think his name is Cornelius. I'm going to call him Cornelius. Oh, Stephen Che, hello.
Starting point is 01:30:18 BFC 21111. How are we doing? New homeowner. You did it. You're officially a homeowner hey you did it did what you're officially a homeowner um we we had inspection today so we are in you know whatever attorney review or whatever that thing is so yeah it was a big deal i was very involved how long till it fucking floods uh this this is not in a flood zone and it's a high point so oh pumped about that what is a high point like zone, and it's a high point. So I'm pumped about that. What is a high point?
Starting point is 01:30:46 Like in the – it's at a cul-de-sac. Like 20 feet? It's like a high point of the lot. Got it. A cul-de-sac. If things were. Oh, you're a cul-de-sac guy now. Ants.
Starting point is 01:30:57 Wow. Wait, Steven. Assuming everything goes through, yes. Question. What does the roof look like? I don't know what legally I'm supposed to say right now because we're in this like weird process but like it it needs immediate care no that wasn't we're talking about roof balls talking about roof ball buddy oh oh oh i wasn't asking about your roof uh I don't know maybe
Starting point is 01:31:27 I mean cul-de-sac would rock if we just had like a block party but also I don't want to dox your house so we'll find someone else that was such a Steven answer I'm not at liberty to say right now my current home has a
Starting point is 01:31:43 separate non-attached to the home garage that might work. I have to see if it has a ping stick. Got it. Roof ball term. No sling. Oh, wait. You're healed. Oh, you're ready to be splatled.
Starting point is 01:32:01 Yeah. Oh, what does that mean? You don't have to ask. Yeah, just come out and lay down. Let Kyle spladdled. Yeah. Oh, what does that mean? You don't have to ask. Yeah, just come out and lay down. Lick how spladdled. Lick how spladdled. I'm not following, sorry. I was listening to the show, but I missed the first hour.
Starting point is 01:32:16 Then you weren't. Then you weren't. Then you weren't listening to the show. Yeah. That's not listening to the show. And also, we talked about splatol for more than an hour. Yeah. Oh.
Starting point is 01:32:27 We'll get you. It'll be good. You don't want to be splatoled. Okay. We're not going to make you get splatoled. So are you healed? No, there's still pain, but I can lift my arm up. So you were never really injured.
Starting point is 01:32:37 No, actually, something's been discovered. I have an issue. Oh, shit. What? I looked it up. There's some type of I have an issue. Oh, shit. What? I looked it up. There's some type of muscle strain or something, because if I sneeze, it feels like the worst pain in the ass. Wait, when you say something's been discovered, I definitely assumed you went to a doctor, got an MRI. You just looked something up.
Starting point is 01:32:58 Yeah, I did some Googling. Okay, and? Seems like some type of muscle or shoulder strain. That's probably part of the injury, and it's still working. I can't shoot a basketball, really. So I'll be hopefully fully healed in like a week or two. Che, what day were you done with the sling? Saturday, maybe, I think.
Starting point is 01:33:21 Okay. TJ, I sent you a picture. Just in case. I don't drive with it on what uh do you okay where's was your wife like I can't believe you got you're in a sling from work uh she wasn't happy yeah I
Starting point is 01:33:39 think that's fair yeah yeah very extreme on a serious note apologies no stop he's serious definitely injured to some degree you said when Very extreme. On a serious note, apologies. No, stop. He's definitely injured to some degree. You said when you sneeze, it's extremely painful. I didn't sneeze yesterday, which was a huge win. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:33:57 Stephen Che posted on LinkedIn. No. I was asked to do that by the dude that sent it to me, which is fair. The first shirtless pic on LinkedIn. Yeah, that's quite a LinkedIn picture. We got a problem though what's that title whoa whoa what is that title i i don't update my linkedin i had to well you clearly did with a picture we gotta update that vp of football ops you look like an ai picture in that that was my headshot at uh my previous job. Wait, so what did it say?
Starting point is 01:34:27 I hurt my shoulder about 10 days ago? This is your LinkedIn profile? No. Maybe. I've been using the nice Snow Ice recovery system. It's been awesome. Feeling better each day. Thanks, Vanguard Medical LLC.
Starting point is 01:34:39 Yeah. Nice. My guy Ryan sent me that device. I ice it 30 minutes a day. It's the same recovery tool that David and Joku uses. Nice. You guys are basically the same. You're exactly the same.
Starting point is 01:34:51 The exact same people. Yeah. Pretty good. So, yeah, feeling better each day. All right. Missed you. Thanks. Missed you guys, too.
Starting point is 01:35:00 I didn't really see you this weekend. What are you most excited about the new house? Owning. Yeah, owning will be nice. We're getting a bunch of work done, so customizing it to our desires. When do you move in? The plan would be end of May, like right around Memorial Day. Oh, nice.
Starting point is 01:35:23 Yeah, but we'll see. It's still very early. House party? Yeah, you guys want to come to a housewarming party? That'd be fun. Yes, love to. How's the yard? Decent. Not crazy big, but it's fine. Do you have a cocaine shed? There is
Starting point is 01:35:40 a shed, but I'm honestly not sure if it's on our property or the neighbor's property. That doesn't matter not sure if it's... I'm not sure if it's on our property or the neighbor's property. That doesn't matter. Yeah, it's for blow. Cocaine shed doesn't have to be on anyone's property. There's a garage.
Starting point is 01:35:53 You can put those anywhere. That'd be so funny if we just piled in there and the neighbor came and was like, what? Bunch of us splatled doing coke. What the fuck is this? Doing coke off each other's Spladles Like no no
Starting point is 01:36:07 I'm fine with the coke With the spladdling Not in my shed Why is that guy's asshole Hey no spladles In my shed No spladles By one rule
Starting point is 01:36:17 All the drugs you want But no spladles The fuck Oh congrats Steven Thank you That is awesome. How did you feel about the list turnout, the 250? Oh, that was awesome.
Starting point is 01:36:31 Very, very cool. Shout out, number one, Joey Langone. Well deserved. Yeah, we'll have to do that full list tomorrow. Or we could just do it right now. I was three. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. You don't want to be high.
Starting point is 01:36:44 You're definitely up there. You don't want to keep company with good or bad thing. You don't want to be high up. You're definitely up there. You don't want to keep company with Langone, dude. Who is the shocker on here? Was everyone on this show on there? I was surprised at how high up I am. Did Brandon make it? I'm pretty low, I think. I was at 40.
Starting point is 01:36:57 I was above you. Yeah, I'm pretty low. Did Brandon make it? I didn't go through this with a fine tooth. This is an insane list. I'm more of a pirate media personality than friend of Che. Yeah. Saxboy Billy, what a fucking, I mean, pen to pape.
Starting point is 01:37:14 Pen to pape. Pen to pape, and he fucking did it. Let's see. Max made it. Lego bar stool on there. KB, there you are, 90. Jesus Christ. Yeah, Mikey Betts.
Starting point is 01:37:29 Janks. Barstool Bubby. Alex Bennett. Frank DeYank made it. Brandon's there. Where is he? Joey Molinaro. 32.
Starting point is 01:37:37 One above Frank Bumming. Damn, KB, you were low. Were you the lowest of the show? I finally beat Nick in something. Barstool Round Gary. I like that guy's name. Yeah, Round Gary. Bacon Mayfield.
Starting point is 01:37:50 Bacon Mayfield. Big Zizou. Wait, Saxboy put himself 249? Yeah, that's wrong. Very humble. Very humble, but that's wrong. He's got to be way higher. Cletus on top.
Starting point is 01:38:02 Finn, I like the parentheses there. Depressed Pirates fan. Oh, we got $20 chef on there? Use for Che. be way higher cleatus on top finn i like the parentheses they're depressed pirates fan oh we got 20 chef on there for che i don't think i'm on here oh no it's definitely on there or should be on i don't think so a lot of people got upset with me about but i i mean i didn't compile the list i think it's an awesome list a lot of people tag shifter who was not on the list whoa what do you think what is the the most wrong with the list? Schefter. Probably Schefter.
Starting point is 01:38:27 Big omission. Is he a Chaniac? Schefter is a big supporter of mine, yeah. He's a huge supporter. But I thought it was a pretty fair list. Langona 1 I think is fair. If Clem isn't on there, Clem should be. All right.
Starting point is 01:38:43 So before we finish, quick surprise. Brock Hardy's on. Oh! Brock! Later, boy. What's up, man? How's it going? How's it going for you?
Starting point is 01:39:07 I'm late because I was getting You know, figuratively My legs spread at the tire shop Came home from NCAAs to a flat tire So that's I didn't even mention You got third place I did Which is fucking incredible
Starting point is 01:39:22 You beat Real Woods in the third and fourth place match So that's probably the best which is fucking incredible. You beat Real Woods in the third and fourth place match. So that's probably the best tournament you've ever had. I mean, I took third at U23 Worlds earlier this year. That's huge, too. This or that. Yeah. So, Brock, can we talk about the Splaydl?
Starting point is 01:39:42 Go ahead. Your face was so funny because it was like the most relatable, like, oh, fuck, I've been spladdled. What was going through your head when the spladle happened? Yeah, so I'm in that wrestling mode. I think there's an angle of it that it shows like as it's happening. And I was trying to do something and I felt my head start to slip. I'm like, oh, he's going for the spladle. My head's going to slip. I'm going to be okay.
Starting point is 01:40:09 And then at the last second, I start to go over the top and start to roll onto my back. And it's kind of like that scene in Talladega Nights when Ricky Bobby flips and he's like, oh, my gosh, we're in the air right now. I'm going to my back and i get there and i like land there and my foot's stuck my other leg behind my back i like look over at my coach is like oh shit i think i'm gonna lose this match oh my god so so kb obviously wrestled the collegiate
Starting point is 01:40:41 level and we've been giving him shit but he showed us some other clips the fact that you stayed in the spladle for like a minute is insane yeah i've never seen someone not get pretty immediately pinned yeah i mean he didn't even get near false like i wasn't oh that's right you didn't even get back points no it was just a reversal so it was i just sat there not getting close to being pinned. I wasn't going to scream out in pain to get it stopped. I feel like that would be a bigger viral clip of me being like – Screaming with you.
Starting point is 01:41:14 Yes, yes, yes. So I just sat there, thought about, man, I just lost this match, and then I got to think, okay, what am I going to do to take third? And then I got to think, this is probably going viral right now oh no so wait were you in like an immense amount of pain no honestly i just it was like it was like getting stuck in like a finger like a chinese finger trap yeah oh you weren't even oh okay um so you were spread for – But I'm really flexible. Yes. Really? I'd say so. You were spread for a little over a minute.
Starting point is 01:41:50 Was there an aroma? No, I'm a very clean person. Right. Okay. So it wasn't too bad. Yeah. And, I mean, I thought at one point about turning and looking at the guy and just being like, look, I'll give up. Like, I'll let you win.
Starting point is 01:42:06 I'll go to my belly. Just let me out of this damn move. It's over. Oh, man. Yeah, because we were saying, like, if I got splatled, they'd have to clean out the whole office because whatever comes out would be a bad scene. So the splatle happens and the match is done. Did anyone say, like, hey, dude, that was really bad. You got spladdled?
Starting point is 01:42:29 I mean, no. I mean, a lot of people avoid talking to people after a wrestling match just because, you know, losing is never a good thing to talk about. But then losing after something like that, you know, I went back to the hotel room, knew I had to wrestle in the blood rounds, and I had instagram deleted should i download it again to see what's going on and i did and that was because i'm good because it was like i wrestled the rest of the tournament going i cannot let that be the last thing i gotta like i have to in spite of the world I have to take third right
Starting point is 01:43:05 now yeah that's incredible yeah because I would imagine there was probably a moment where you're like oh maybe no one's talking about the spladle and then you went online you're like oh well it was ESPN that screwed you with the camera angle they could have easily panned to something else hand to the coaches Coaches, fans, and stuff. Yeah. And then NCAA Wrestling, they posted it four times. Four times? What are you doing? Holy shit.
Starting point is 01:43:36 And again, like, your third place finishes. That's a career-defining performance. So I hope you can take some, you know, joy in how good that was. Did you get a pin in the blood round no so i i won in the blood round eight one and then i got a pin in the you know the what is the next quarter the next round got a forfeit from a kid who medical forfeited and then beat real woods who was five and all against me going into the match hell That's huge. Hell yes. I had a generational run after the one-to-one thing moment of my life. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:44:07 But I got to say, Brock, like, the fact that you even came on here, you're owning it to a hilarious level. Like, you're handling it the perfect way because, I mean, what can you say? You got splayedled. I mean, it just happened, you know? Here's the deal. The wrestling move is going to happen to other people,
Starting point is 01:44:26 and it probably won't happen at the ncaa level but some little kid can have solace in knowing that brock hardy also got hit in that movie you're an inspiration you're an inspiration to anyone who gets splatled from this day forward yes was that the uh first time you got splatled i mean i'm sure i got splatled in practice at some point you know joking around but that was the first time you got spladdled? I mean, I'm sure I got spladdled in practice at some point, you know, joking around. But that was the first time in a match, for sure. Oh, my God. What a fucking moment, man. You're like a champion.
Starting point is 01:44:56 What a legend. Yeah, you're a legend. It's inspiring. It's almost like every man needs stretched before they can accomplish something great. Yeah. You didn't let the spladdled define you. That's accomplish something great. Yeah. Yeah. You didn't let the spladle define you. No.
Starting point is 01:45:08 That's the biggest thing. Yeah. There we go. If I ever get splated, it would be on my tombstone. Man got splatted. It would kill me. Just tap out for life. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:45:18 That's over. Yeah. All right. So what's next? Do you still have eligibility left? I do. I got two years of eligibility left. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:45:26 Oh. All right, we got to work on the NIL deal. You got to. Yeah. Let's do it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:45:31 Brock Hardy is going to be the official wrestler of the Yak. Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah. I love it. We're going to cover everything you do. If you get spladdled again, it wouldn't be the worst thing for just views and stuff. Well, can we get a Yak logo around the asshole of the show?
Starting point is 01:45:50 Maybe I'll try to splatle someone. Yes! Brock, do you ever come to Chicago for any reason? Are there ever meets or matches or whatever you call them in the wrestling world? Yes, we do a Northwestern in Illinois each year, and so we're always going around there. We have a student there. Yeah, we have a student at Northwestern. We're going to get splatled.
Starting point is 01:46:07 You can splatle him. Let's all go support Brock. Yes, go to the match. All right, so Brock, I'll have our merch team reach out, and we'll get it worked out. We'll create a Yak Brock Hardy shirt, and it'll be an NIL deal, so you get some money from it. Man, I appreciate that.
Starting point is 01:46:23 That's huge. Thank you. I love it. I love it. All right. Shout out Brock Hardy andbraska wrestling what did you guys place as a team uh i think ninth yeah top 10 program next year top three that's the plan yep love it all right well thanks so much brock we appreciate it man you're on all right you guys have a good day all right see it I feel inspired. That was inspiring. He's the best guy ever.
Starting point is 01:46:48 That's the best way to end it. Look at that. Isn't that a great ending to this? Like we had him on and he's the best. That's such a motivational story. I was clenching. I was like, please don't go too hard with the jokes. You were clenching. No, it's very clear right away that he was cool.
Starting point is 01:47:02 He's like, that was the worst thing that could ever happen. There's two things I can do. Just like be a bitch about it or just own it and be like that was crazy yeah well i thought what he said if you're like a kid who gets played on it and whatever it's like look at him i that was lovely sorry the best moment of his life came how how long after the spladle then like the run what his run is was so good it's hard to like. But like the next, like to get third place. He had to win four more matches. All in one day? Across the, he had to win that night to All-American
Starting point is 01:47:33 and then finished it out on Saturday. So in a 24-hour span, he had the lowest moment of his life and the highest moment of his life. What a legend. That's crazy. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. I did not expect him to say. Right. No, definitely. Yeah. I did not expect him to say when he was like,
Starting point is 01:47:47 I thought about opening my Instagram back up again. I thought he was going to say, like, I didn't. The fact that he did and just faced it. Four times. That blew my mind. He's been wrestling, posting it four times. They just know Eclipse. What a betrayal.
Starting point is 01:47:59 Shout out Josh, by the way, our booker. That was incredible. He was on that right away. Yeah. I mean, perfect. And the yak fans we gotta we gotta buy all this merch yep the nil deal money in his pocket yeah i was thinking like um his name rocks by the way rock hardy's perfect great wrestler name yeah incredible name
Starting point is 01:48:19 i think like really like inspiring shirts that say get stretched and overcome. Yeah. I was thinking like a little ribbon for spladle awareness that has like a little butt. Yeah, it should just be legs. Or it could just be like, I got spladdled and all I got was this t-shirt. Yeah. Escaping asshole. I got spladdled and all I got. She's like, what the hell is that?
Starting point is 01:48:45 Oh, man. They're posting. And now we're following Brock two more years of eligibility. I didn't realize. He's the official wrestler of the Yak. We might have to go to the meet next year. Yes. Oh, my God. There he is.
Starting point is 01:48:58 When he wrestles Northwestern Illinois, we have to all go. Yeah, we're all going. We got to do like Ice Con. We got to do Yak Con. Just have everyone come out and just go nuts for everybody that would be incredible oh god no ricky bobby analogy's so perfect oh fuck i'm upside down i'm splayed The wrestler that did it is probably kind of pissed Yeah no that guy's a loser You don't splayed our guy Brock
Starting point is 01:49:31 We're going to fucking make him money now That guy won the national championship Oh yeah he's a beast Oh man What a day A lot of conflicting emotions Yeah I know you just went, the lowest to lowest. What was your weight when you wrestled?
Starting point is 01:49:48 His weight. That's what I was thinking because I was watching the 141. He would have demolished me. Yeah, I thought you were that as well. Yeah. Wow. I hope we can make him some shots. So do you watch, like, when you watch it,
Starting point is 01:50:02 do you focus on the 141s the most because that was what you did? Or do you? I definitely stray toward the lighter weights. There's more scrambling. I think it's more fun. Yeah. By the way, Titus, I just got a text from Josh who's, again, doing an incredible job. I think we're going to get Golki here on Friday. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:50:20 Fuck yes. So we'll have to do some kind of, He'll have to do the Yak Gauntlet Yeah, yeah But also we'll have to come up with some challenge Yeah Just have him shoot I just want to watch him shoot threes That's how I feel
Starting point is 01:50:32 What is What's next for him? Could he do He said he's going to see what What happens to be maybe Euro You know, somewhere overseas I want to get out ahead of it Before he gets here
Starting point is 01:50:42 Like I have no I have no No part of me wants to challenge him in any sort of shooting anything. I will gladly step aside and bow down to Golke. Last night you're like, if Golke comes here, I'll fucking kick his ass in shooting. No, no. No, I didn't say that. I think he made 100 before I made 10 threes. Now my wheels are spinning.
Starting point is 01:51:04 I want to team up with you. We should try to get Jeff D'Lo out here on Friday. Jeff D'Lo versus Golke. Wow. How many points can Golke score before Jeff gets one? And it's a high school line. Golke
Starting point is 01:51:20 versus Lowe. The matchup of the century. Oh no. Does he get 50 before Jeff gets one? I don't know. Yes, 100%. So, hold on. If it took Jeff 73 to make one. No, he made two in 73.
Starting point is 01:51:35 Two in 73. Okay. So, yeah, I would set it at like 50. Yeah. Because it'll take Jeff 30 to 40 40 we can assume to make one yeah yeah he's just rapid firing but i don't want like a random jeff make like it would almost have to be jeff to three gulky yeah you need more than one because he could do an outlier yeah i'm i'm officially i'll say this right now i think i'll I think the one person I'd be fine with beating my yak on the time is Golko.
Starting point is 01:52:07 And he will be a beast. No, he's not going to be able to do anything else. He's going to suck at every other event except shooting threes. He doesn't know how to do anything. He can't do anything else. He's going to sit there throwing the cornhole for 15 minutes. And we're just going to say, go on. And then the second he touches the ball to shoot the three, wet, wet.
Starting point is 01:52:24 He's like, I don't do anything else. I just shoot threes. That's all I can do. I love that guy. That's awesome. I'll ask Jeff if he can't. We'll just have it be Mincy versus Golke, which is totally fine. That also works.
Starting point is 01:52:37 Funny promo. Mincy versus Golke. Has Mincy done the gauntlet? Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's done the gauntlet. He's tough shooters right? I think so Um no he's not as bad as you'd think Really?
Starting point is 01:52:49 Yeah Kind of fine I do want to collab with Golki Mincy just trying to defend Golki Would also be great Yeah Got him in a full uniform He chased him around
Starting point is 01:52:58 Yeah Mincy's not bad Oh Mincy kind of crushed Fuck Yeah we were Oh, Mintzy kind of crushed. Fuck. Yeah, we were... What was the... We might do one, him versus Jerry. Jerry has to shoot layups. Koki can shoot threes.
Starting point is 01:53:15 Yeah. Who can make more. Was he like a high percentage guy too? Probably when he's wide open. He said that he actually... He was shooting the dumbest shots. That's like... So when he's wide open like he said that he actually the dumbest shots that's like so when he missed you kind of understood because he's fading away with a hand
Starting point is 01:53:32 in his face he said that very far actually like is not he said he missed he missed the most of his misses were when he was wide open he likes it better when he's moving and like a hand in his face which we could have Mincy be his hand in his face yeah which we could have mincey be his hand in his face let's see what his uh three point but no that would be very funny kyle
Starting point is 01:53:50 is like he gets here and he can't make anything because he's too open and he's not that would be amazing he was 37.6 from three we shot so many yeah he made uh Which isn't, you know, incredible, but... You take the difficulty of the shots he takes. That is incredible. Yeah. He takes shots no one else would try. Yeah. That's awesome.
Starting point is 01:54:21 I can't wait to meet this guy. Is the Bachelor finale tonight? Bachelor finale's tonight. Oh. Zah won our pool. Zah won our pool. Going away. Look at this.
Starting point is 01:54:31 Zah knows women. We all got a little bit. Zah has a scoop. Zah has the final two. Something is so fishy. Don't make a joke. He had to be on the forums or something. Yeah, he was on the forums.
Starting point is 01:54:43 No, I think Zah just knows women. He is a connoisseur in women. Look at that. Daisy is a cute lady name. He dominated us. Who was the last eliminated before Zod? Titus had Rachel. Titus had Rachel.
Starting point is 01:54:55 Titus had Rachel. Nice pick, Titus. I wish I had Rachel. What about that before that? I don't know. Which one's Rachel? Who was first? Oh, the third one down.
Starting point is 01:55:05 Yeah, who doesn't have women yeah Zod's first two picks were incredible value it's incredible good job Zod yeah that's alright what no
Starting point is 01:55:15 Zod knows women is he on the forums he knows women his first two picks were the final two what are the Zod listen I was on the forums
Starting point is 01:55:23 and I got played I guess yeah oh you tried to cheat I tried to Listen, I was on the forum, and I got played, I guess. Oh, you tried to cheat? I tried to. That's very funny. No, shut up, Zaha. Is our wheel just a mess still? Yep.
Starting point is 01:55:34 Yep, yes. Oh, fuck. I think let's just say right now, if name wheel hits, we'll just do the balloon. I think I can get the balloon stuff. Where'd you get a big balloon? I don't know. That's a special one. Paige can figure it out, right? Oh, she always will.
Starting point is 01:55:49 She's sick, though. Oh, shit. All right, so if it hits the name wheel, we'll just do the balloon game tomorrow? I have the game. We'll just have to find a big balloon. Yeah, if you can get the balloon. I think we can find a big balloon.
Starting point is 01:56:02 Oh, God. Jesus. We were talking shit on the wheel when it was picking colleges Yeah How do we get out of this? Wheel reset Do we spin again with a wet? Uh-uh No
Starting point is 01:56:18 Malasek's on it Malasek is on it PFT's on it PFT is on it Should we call Chaps Oh yeah, Chaps Yeah, let's get it Malasek is on it PFT's on it PFT is on it Should we call Chaps Oh yeah Chaps Yeah let's get Hank in here
Starting point is 01:56:28 Hold on Chaps has to do it in soup Chaps has to Yeah pour his soup Over his head Yeah It's only fair Plenty to spare
Starting point is 01:56:36 Blutman He said the corn chowder Was amazing Let's stack this thing. I'll get Max in here. You want to stack the room? Hey, where are you right now? Yo.
Starting point is 01:56:55 Hey, where are you right now? I'm in a me. I just hopped out of a conference room. Oh, okay. Never mind then. All right. Bye. Nothing.
Starting point is 01:57:03 We wanted you to sit on the act because we got wet. We wanted more people on the wheel. Okay. All right, bye. No, no, it's all right. It's all right. Bye. I'm going to get Junda. I'm going to get Junda's ass.
Starting point is 01:57:11 Did Spider come in? No, he's standing outside. Yes, he did. He did. I thought he sat down. Yes, Spider is on the wheel. Sure came in. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:57:18 I thought we got Spider. This is going to end badly for us, Big Cat. Hey, can you come to the Yaks studio real quick? Uh, yeah I'm driving in right now Oh, okay Alright, bye Does that count?
Starting point is 01:57:35 Talk to him Fuck! Fuck! Brock Hardy on the way Yeah, Brock Hardy Bad news Alright, this looks right that made my whole day it really was like the best that was very outcome possible yeah i'm happy and it made his whole week all right guys
Starting point is 01:57:56 pause all right cool frog man that took me way longer to figure out. That was damn good. I was like, whole week. Whole week? Whole week. Whole week. Shit. He's safe.
Starting point is 01:58:22 I already know it's going to be me. We have to get a wheel reset at some point. I've never been wet Wow Well maybe che It's probably gonna be Titus. Yeah Who's gotten it does anyone never gotten it? me oh gotten it? Has anyone never gotten it? Mook. That was way too early for you. I haven't gotten it since the old office.
Starting point is 01:58:51 The worst part is how cold you get after. I'm fucked. I'm not going to lie. I got to piss real bad. You want to piss in the shower? You can either pee your pants or... If you get swept, you can pee your pants. You have to pee your pants.
Starting point is 01:59:06 I'm fucked. These are all the people I want to see wet. KB, how are you feeling? About wet? Yeah. I've gotten it so many times. Probably like 20 times. I think it's going to come down to between me and you.
Starting point is 01:59:25 No, it's gonna come down to between me and you. Phew. No, it's gonna be me. Has anybody ever seen Spider wet? Never. No. Never. He's literally never been wet. And he's been only going up. Fuck! Oh.
Starting point is 01:59:45 Go. Right is right. Big Cat and Mook. Damn it. The big two. Oh, they're shooing. Don't you wish your shoes were easier to take off? Pussy. I really need this so bad.
Starting point is 02:00:03 So, so bad. I think it's going to be piss. I think I'm pissing myself. Nope. Okay. No, you definitely could still piss yourself, Mook. Oh, you're right. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:00:18 This is your first wheel. Shit. No piss. You could opt for the piss, though. That's what Jerry did. Jerry opted for piss? He opted for piss. He didn't want to get wet, he just pissed. He was like, can I piss? And we were all like, yeah! Nine times out of ten. Two for cat.
Starting point is 02:00:39 Oh no. Oh fuck. Is that 3-0? Yeah, no, it's 3-1. Can't, can't, nothing's... No, it's over, man. Shut up! It's over. Congrats. Shut up.
Starting point is 02:00:57 Yes, thank God! You wanna opt to piss? It's his option. Just go get wet. Just go get wet. Go get your ass wet Come back He said he's never gotten wet right? Thank god
Starting point is 02:01:11 He's not gonna be like He's not gonna look cute is he? Mincy breaking news breaking news tj i'll send it to you can you hit the breaking news music Mark the scoundrel up to the rascal. The Brock Hardy story, that is, was just on Jumbotron at Notre Dame. Anyone got screenshot, please post if so. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 02:02:02 How can he be this excited about the Jumbotron? What is... He is such a weird creature. Wait, did anyone actually post it? Probably. People probably just don't have it. Wait, see? Scroll down.
Starting point is 02:02:17 Like, did they announce this is an image? No, pre-scrolling is smart. Pre-scrolling is smart. Twitter is a dangerous place. Yeah, that's very smart. No, nobody posted it. What game is it at? Notre Dame Ole Miss women's.
Starting point is 02:02:33 Oh, they have this ice spice looking girl who's nasty. Yeah? Did you see the big girl on Iowa State? Yeah. She got knocked down the other day, right? Awesome. She got a. So you thought there would be people that follow him on Twitter.
Starting point is 02:02:51 Yeah. The Ole Miss. What a what a what a snap to picture him on the jumbo. Does that if no one ever gets a picture, does that become all time? One of the most depressing tweets ever. Yeah. Yep. Wait, were they presenting like this has been minced or was it it just a random no i think it was just fan cam okay but he tweeted
Starting point is 02:03:12 that expecting the responses to just flood in that there's just he's got dozens and dozens of people someone also had to be like holding their phone up in time oh Oh, shit, it's Mincy. Yeah, right. The boxes that need to be checked for someone to respond to this. It's crazy. Please post if so. Oh, my God, Mincy. Please post. But I would say the Brock Hardy storyline is so great it's like perfectly yak too
Starting point is 02:03:48 like we spent an hour making fun of you and then to have it like work this way it's just the best you are real oh you are you are not good looking wet alright man
Starting point is 02:04:03 yeah no you look good it's one of the wettest You are not good looking wet. All right, man. Yeah, no. You look good. That's one of the wettest. It is one of the wettest, and I don't know, Moo. I went wet. I look like a wet rat, but I mean. Yeah. It's fine.
Starting point is 02:04:15 Don't get wet ever again. It's not a handsome wet. No, it's not. It's a garish wet. Why are they clowning you? What? I don't know. Why are they coming at me, kid?
Starting point is 02:04:22 I think it's the hair. Freezing my dick off. It's hard to look good in that. Titus does it. I feel like I look good. You look very Italian. You do. Got Notre Dame right where we want them.
Starting point is 02:04:33 Oh, 43-26. Maybe he thought it was 7-2 and it was the rankings. Gotta get that Jumbotron pick. Is a wake up mincey week who the fuck knows i went on last week and he said that he's doing it every week now because he's got a new system oh and he also said this is a big week coming up he's like we got some big guests then i said kb and he goes no oh. Oh. Not yet. Oh, he's with Billy. He's running for Congress.
Starting point is 02:05:08 Oh, that's why it's a big week. Billy's running for Congress. Yeah. Billy's website was just. I saw his policies. Well, the only for a while this weekend, it was just a website and all you could do is donate. There's no information. Nothing.
Starting point is 02:05:23 Just donate. Instant donations. He's the. Who nothing. Just donate. Instant donations. Who was your fellow that we had that was running for? Remember that guy? His name. Bear Faxon. Swampland. Wait, what are the buildings that look like that?
Starting point is 02:05:38 He does big Swampland videos. Wait, $3,300? What about $135.35 processing fee? Oh, my God. I'm in talks with Big T. Big T is, I think, supporting the candidate who's running against Billy. And I told Big T that the war chest is open. Wow.
Starting point is 02:05:59 So Big T might be the president of Stella Blue Coffee soon. Billy's Twitter is, like, fully politician now. He changed the president of Stella Blue Coffee soon. Billy's Twitter is like fully politician now. He changed everything. Really? I think so. He's serious about it. He's dead serious. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 02:06:12 That actually is very funny. Yeah. Billy, God, I feel proud of you. I love this. Yeah, this is funny. The only reason I didn't love it at first is because I was like many Billy things. I was expecting it to just not happen. But now that he looks like he's actually doing it, it is very funny.
Starting point is 02:06:31 Anytime you have to explain that this is not a joke, you got a great campaign. You have a good chance. He said he has a campaign manager? Who? I don't know who it is. Yeah, he has a guy in Congress, apparently. So how big is this district population? I don't know who it is he has a guy in Congress apparently so how big is this district population I don't know
Starting point is 02:06:47 it's from like the edge of Queens over to it's like in a very populated area of Long Island when is the election is it this fall yeah November then yeah right if like we're just watching CNN and it's just Bill Cotter wins
Starting point is 02:07:03 in a landslide. I mean, that's a very bad sign for America. Yeah. He does have a good politician named Bill Cotter. Yeah, and his face. Yeah. I mean, I guess I'm rooting for him to win. He wouldn't be the craziest guy Congresswoman. I mean, he's running...
Starting point is 02:07:20 I think the whole genesis of this one macro dosing was he's running the seat that George Santos vacated. So it's actually not relatively speaking. He's not that crazy. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man.
Starting point is 02:07:38 It's quite something. He wins. He's just sitting in real meetings. He would have to. He also will show up and be like, I've been here before January 6th. Didn't he ask if he was going to get fired if he won? Wait, wait. I get why people want to come to America, but they need to do it the right way.
Starting point is 02:08:00 I won't say what the right way is or explain in any way what that means. I just want them to do it the right way. Simpl't say what the right way is or explain it in any way. How's he going to do these? I just want them to do it the right way. Simplify and lower taxes. Eventually, yeah. I guess he just does that when he gets elected. Big pharma accountable. And the opioid crisis. Thanks, Bill.
Starting point is 02:08:19 Okay. Holy shit. Fix the broken hallmark. He's going to win. He's going to do everything. What part of me shall not be infringed is so hard to understand. Oh, it's the longest one by far. In short, I basically want to stop the bullshit.
Starting point is 02:08:38 That's very good. That's going to help. Don't even get me started on corruption politics. And don't even get me started. Some of the most pressing issues in the country. I want to stop the bullshit. He's got a chance. I'll say it.
Starting point is 02:08:52 I think he's. Everybody should have these policies. Yeah. Great policies. Stop the bullshit. Stop the bullshit. Policy number one. Clean up the streets.
Starting point is 02:09:00 Let's clean up the streets. Let's. So who's he running against do we know also there will be long stew fighter will be coming that's great uh there will also be long island railroad beers on the tree he's an event he's gonna be on the train chatting people up with beer I'm Bill Cotter I want to be your voice in Congress this isn't a bit dedicated to the cause to make it happen I need your help visit Bill Cotter
Starting point is 02:09:34 oh wait this isn't his website this is a Barstool blog yeah that was Barstool blog oh oh I thought it was his website I thought it was his website I I thought it was his website. I can see the comments actually probably likes that. Loves that.
Starting point is 02:09:50 Oh, yeah. Right next to the smooth show. All right, so who's he running against? Do we know? How did he make it this far? What's the district? You just have to get signatures. You can just apply.
Starting point is 02:10:04 That's why Dave got stopped for running for boss mayor. You can get enough signatures. Can we find out who he's running against? Is this who he's running against? Does he have to defeat the other Republican first or is this guy the Democrat?
Starting point is 02:10:23 Is it already like... I'd imagine he has to beat the Republicans. Yeah, he's got to beat the Republicans first and then he goes up against this guy? So maybe he goes up against this guy in November and he's got to beat the Republicans before then? We need a Trump endorsement.
Starting point is 02:10:39 Yeah. Trump and Billy on the campaign. Trump endorsement would be so funny. Holy shit. Wait, so he's running against all these people, but he's not on it yet. So the primary's in June. Is that guy's name Jim Toes?
Starting point is 02:10:56 This is the people. Jim Toes. Jim Toes might be my guy. I'm a Jim Toes guy. I'm going for Philip Grillo. Philip Grillo. Wait, so he's got to be my guy. I might. Philo Grillo. Philip Grillo. Philip Grillo.
Starting point is 02:11:08 Wait. So he's got to beat all these people. Yeah. Republican election in June. And then he's got to beat and then he's got to go up against either. Swozy is going to take the incumbent seat. Who's Swozy? He's in the seat right now. Oh, that's a problem.
Starting point is 02:11:24 Swozy is a problem. Is he a Democrat? Let's's a problem. Swozy's a problem. Is he a Democrat? Let's get past toes. Swozy's a problem. We got to get on Swozy's ass. Can I see what toes looks like? Yeah, Jim Toes. Let's worry about toes.
Starting point is 02:11:34 That does not sound creepy. Okay. I'm thinking toes. Jim Toes. I think Jersey Jerry supports him. Oh, for sure. Yeah. Toes 2024
Starting point is 02:11:45 His slogan is 10 toes down His little piggy went to Congress How do we get Billy on this Harvey Mains Mains and toes He's going up against Mains and toes Yeah I think he's got to get the signatures Yep Santos He's going up against mains and toes. Yeah, I think he's got to get the signatures.
Starting point is 02:12:07 Oh, yep. Santos. Santos. All right, Thompson. Oh, 91,000 votes. We might be in trouble, boy. That's a ton. That's a shitload of votes. I was thinking like 500 to 700.
Starting point is 02:12:17 Yeah, I was hoping he could win this thing by accident. No. No, there's no chance. Like 1,000 stoolies showed up, and he's like, whoops, he's in Congress. Wait, Santos got 145,000? That's crazy. Yeah. Holy shit.
Starting point is 02:12:30 It is so much bigger than I expected. Yeah, we might be in trouble. And Jim Toews is sitting right there. Jim Toews. Hard out. Can we get Toews on the show tomorrow? Yeah, we should. We should talk to Jim Toes.
Starting point is 02:12:48 That's ridiculous. That's what he's all about. It's such a ridiculous thing. Jim Toes. Jim Toes, the funniest. His name is Athlete's Foot. Yeah. Holy shit.
Starting point is 02:13:05 It is Jesus Oh man Oh do we have any specific designs For Brock Hardy Nick you gotta I'll think of something Nick will work on it Yeah I'll get something
Starting point is 02:13:21 We gotta come up with something That can actually sell Cause I want him to get money from this. For sure. I think we do one cool one and one with a gay ass. Yeah. I would do. I think just I got splandled and all I got was his T-shirt.
Starting point is 02:13:34 I would wear that. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Oh, I can't wait for his first meet when we get out like in this area. Yeah. Oh, we have to get to the gym we have to have it be the loudest place in the world and if he splayed on somebody oh it'd be like if ice con hit the over oh that was oh empty net what an incredible like it does i just that one i don't
Starting point is 02:13:58 know if you can find that one clip tj of of dave like sweating out a bet and then they pin the camera to the bar. Did you guys see this? Ice con people are so fucking funny and all they care about is hitting the over and they traveled from everywhere. There's a guy traveling from Czechoslovakia for ice. And the chain Dave was wearing. Yeah, the chain. And then Elio releases.
Starting point is 02:14:22 Look at this. This is in the middle of March Madness. They got a computer they're watching the game on. Just the ice people going nuts. He's doing the video. Dave just laughs just the best ice con
Starting point is 02:14:49 they're salty earth people actually they can't be right that'd be bad that'd be bad for the ice yeah salty ice yeah I was so jealous
Starting point is 02:14:58 I want to go to ice con next year alright we got anything else it's been a great yak fun one great yak wait hold on I'd really like to get toes on tomorrow yeah
Starting point is 02:15:07 Jim toes TJ or Stephen why don't you reach out to Jim toes you got him alright thank you everyone great yak great to be back I'm gonna procure the balloon stuff too and oh All right. Thank you, everyone. Great yak. Great to be back.
Starting point is 02:15:27 I'm going to procure the balloon stuff, too. And, oh, we got Golki. Oh, on Friday. Oh, and don't forget to come with your wheels tomorrow. Oh, he has it. Oh, Che, you already follow him. This is so good. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:15:38 It's all of them. I just followed him, yeah. All right. See everyone tomorrow. Please subscribe. It's the act It's the act Yeah, it's time to talk shop We're doing Yankee Swap It's the act It's the act
Starting point is 02:16:14 Hey, let's have a good week. Hey, if you're at Monday Night Raw tonight and you see my crazy ass there, say hi. Alright, love you, bye.

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