The Yak - The Wet Wheel Finds A New Victim | The Yak 3-1-22
Episode Date: March 2, 2022The Wheel is JustYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the act It's the act
Yeah, it's time to talk, shop, and do
Yankee pop, it's the act
It's the act
On the day of my vacation,
you guys dragged me in here.
You guilt me.
You plead.
I didn't guilt you.
I said, are you actually not coming?
Guilted yourself.
No, Brandon guilted me.
I did not guilt you.
Nobody guilted you.
You're that big of a pussy.
I said I wanted to go get pins.
And then you said, are you seriously not coming in?
I thought you were joking.
I thought you were joking too.
Everyone would have. Why would I joke about the Nick Tuesday movement? I said, are you seriously not coming in? I thought you were joking. I thought you were joking, too. Why would I joke about the Nick Tuesday movement?
I said, are you actually not coming in today?
And then you were like, ah, fuck, I guess I'll come in.
We were just making sure because we thought it was a joke.
There was guilt in it.
Everyone would have respected if you took the day off.
You can leave now if you'd like.
You could have guilted yourself.
I was thinking about it.
I'm taking a Nick Tuesday tomorrow.
I'm taking a Sass Wednesday And Thursday
And probably Friday too
Shit
I know I cussed too on accident
We're trying to do a clean show today
Two minutes and 57 seconds
I'm doing it
You're going all the way
Well mine was a quote
You need one minority to walk in the door
Well I'm still going to get my credit jokes off
Yeah yeah that's good
That's good
I was going to take my credit jokes off. Yeah, yeah, that's good. That's good.
I was going to take today off,
but I figured... Nardini texted me,
and she's like,
Nick, we need you in.
Time and a half if you come in on a holiday.
All right, I guess I'll make, what?
She texted me.
$14 an hour.
Wait, what?
She's like,
what should I say to Nick
to make him come in?
I guess I'll say that.
But the Nick Tuesday movement, first of all, people think it's selfish.
I'm not meaning Nick is in my name.
I'm meaning the verb.
You're cutting a little bit out of the week.
It just so happens to be my name and I happen to be the face.
You're the face of it.
Yeah.
Of every pic in the montage.
Yeah. Yeah. Stool pick in the montage. Yeah.
Yeah.
Stoolie Clubhouse did make a montage,
but I'm still standing by
Tuesday is the best day to take off.
Why?
You don't dread Mondays
because I think the reason people dread Mondays
is because of Tuesday,
and then it makes you have a short week
when you come back.
No, I think he's right,
and I hate the fact that
he's right. I think taking off
on Monday or Friday is better because then you have a long weekend.
I dread Mondays because of Monday.
No, no, no. You dread it because of Tuesday. You just don't
know it yet. I don't. No.
Here's what he's saying.
Monday is the worst day, probably.
And it's significantly less
worse if you know you have the next day off.
So you can go out afterwards, do whatever.
You can kind of putter through.
I would argue that makes Monday even worse.
No, you could putter through Monday.
How does that make Monday even worse?
I would argue that because you—
You think Monday is better when there's a Tuesday that follows?
You giant fucking moron.
How would that make Monday worse in any dimension?
You break up a Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday with a work day.
No.
I would say that Wednesday.
Monday sucks.
It's the worst day.
It's the worst day.
It's the worst stretch of the first day of five straight work days.
The goal is to always stack off days.
Stack off days.
Imagine going into Monday knowing you don't have to work the next day.
What, you love Mondays?
Do you hate lasagna?
No, I—
The anti-Garfield?
I don't love Mondays.
I'm just saying I don't think your theory about Tuesday lessening Monday really holds—
Tuesday, definitely.
You still—
It's still in the weekend.
Why do people look forward to Fridays, Brandon?
Because you have the next day off.
You have the next two days off.
It doesn't matter.
No, because Sundays is a day off. It does matter. It doesn't matter. No, because Sundays is a day off.
It does matter.
It doesn't matter.
It matters a lot.
Think of how much, dude, there's a palpable buzz to Friday night.
You have two days.
Saturday, it's kind of like, I'm already a little scared.
No.
Yeah.
He's right.
Friday nights.
Saturday is like, you wouldn't get a weekend if you just had Tuesday.
You still get your Sunday.
You could have a Sunday.
Saturday is like, yeah, a couple of stupid fucking times.
You know that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That doesn't count.
The ideal work week.
Wait, what did you just say?
I don't consider that a swear word.
What?
I said fucking.
You said fuck too.
The ideal work week is 40 straight hours starting Tuesday at noon.
That is ideal.
No, you don't want that marathon.
Yes, you do.
This gives you a mid-week break.
Owen's right, Owen's right. When I was in college, I had't want that marathon. Yes, you do. This gives you a mid-week break. Owen's right.
When I was in college, I had all my classes on
two days and then I had a five-day
weekend every single day. You're not allowed to be in
this conversation.
I think that
a Wednesday... I don't mind Mondays
working here
because it's like we do
the yak. Should we do your work
week? We can't talk about ourselves.
We don't have the –
We can't talk about ourselves.
We can't.
But I'm saying like a traditional work week.
For us, I think Wednesday.
You go in.
I told you we might need you.
You go in on a Monday.
You answer your emails from the weekend.
You catch up.
You have Tuesday off, and then you're not going to feel like you're missing out on a lot of work.
You're not going to feel panicked.
It's not going to pile up.
You just missed a Tuesday, and it has the same sensation as a
short week. I got to talk to somebody real quick.
I told you we might need you because Nick
wasn't going to be here.
Now you're here.
Don't make him feel like that. We want him.
But I told him I might need you
because Nick's not here. No, he brings the diversity we need.
We need a longer haired Owen.
Then what am I supposed to do? Just sit there
waiting for you to text me? Yeah, you were. I said I'll text you if I need you.-haired Owen. Then what am I supposed to do? Just sit there waiting for you to text me?
Yeah, you were.
I said I'll text you if I need you.
You never said that.
You said, are you available for the Yaks?
I said, yeah.
I even asked Sass.
I said, should I go get Rudy?
He said, no, we don't want Rudy.
Maybe he thought this one happened.
You said, should I go get other people?
I could make the call.
I'm the one who's...
I'm the Yak guy.
He's the Yak guy.
You should be hosting right now.
He said my...
I'm the longest-running member. I am hosting guy. I'm the yak guy. You should be hosting right now. He's sat in my seat. I'm the longest running member.
I am hosting Nick Tuesday.
But you never want to make the call.
I want Rudy.
I want Rudy.
Well, we got Rudy.
I made that call.
Okay, don't act like it's some apprehensive decision.
Everybody put their St. Patrick's Day t-shirts on the podium for Rudy one at a time.
That's right.
I'm just going to model.
What's with the flowers?
Look how angry we all are.
You know what would be awesome?
If we all had today off.
I know.
I really want to take today off.
Did you guys want today off?
It's Nick Tuesday.
Nick Tuesday, Rudy.
How could I forget?
It's a big day.
The best 14 days a year.
How does one celebrate Nick Tuesday?
What is the...
Come on.
Friday is the correct answer.
Where are all the Nick heads at? did this poll straw poll who made it me thursday just really oliver twish who the
fuck made this somebody screenshot that and said who think about the person who made that emoji
and i share a story with about tj real quick? Thursday is the last one, I guess.
We found out, TJ, can you tell everybody on the Yak where your 13th birthday party was held?
Who is this guy?
Yeah, 2011, I went to Philadelphia Passion Laundry Football League game for my birthday.
For your 13th birthday?
I don't know if that was, I guess that was 13.
Did you bring a bunch of friends?
Yeah, a couple friends.
Only the close homies.
Did you bring binoculars?
Only the day ones.
No, we were in second row. Really? You were in the the nosebleeds but that's the closer you get right getting nervous sunbank arena in trenton it's beautiful mary rose roach broke off for five
touchdowns i'll never forget it god damn five what's she up to i'd imagine the show highlights
better looking uh she was like kind of a beast. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Who is that guy?
He looks kind of like...
I don't... He looks like a...
I don't like how smiley they are.
He looks like an evolved Tom Leigh.
He's a white guy, so it looks like he works here.
He's an evolved Tom Leigh, or he looks like he's good at sleight of hand, but not a magician.
So he just picked it up along the way?
A rare crop of people. I'm excellent at sleight of hand, but not a magician. So he just picked it up along the way. A rare crop of people.
I'm excellent at sleight of hand off what magic.
You sure he's not a jinn?
Will I get him?
Yeah.
No, no, no.
Now?
I'll at least ask him who he is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Say who you.
I don't trust you, though.
Rudy, we're glad to have you here.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
By the way I took
A shave
Yeah a fresh shave
I was sick of the facial hair
I'm in a weird place
Brandon
Brandon just pussied out so hard
Oh man
Packs in the city just
Oh wow they're important
Oh they're going in with
Wait
Wait one of them went in with Erica
But he wasn't with
Oh Brandon
He was there earlier
Come in boys
They're asking They want to come in The guy's shocked that I'm here Oh, Brandon, you have. Come in, boys.
They're asking.
They want to come in.
The guy's shocked that I'm here.
He's like, wait a minute.
You said he wasn't going to be here.
I'm in.
There.
I'm over here. I'm in.
Come in.
Come in.
He's a British guy?
We've never had a British guy on the team.
Oh, no.
Besides troops and expressions.
He's going to watch that back and through the run.
He kind of looks like your guy's buddy, Chris. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, a tiny bit. He's going to watch that back through the run. He kind of looks like your guy's buddy, Chris.
Yeah, a little bit.
Yeah, a tiny bit. He was British.
Jesus Christ. I don't know what he did.
Nicely feathered hair.
Yeah, he somehow...
Yeah.
Nick, I went on 4chan.
Yeah, you like it? Dude, it's...
I've been trying to be on 4chan for a while.
You didn't preface how much porn there'd be.
Wow.
Sorry?
So much porn.
There was one funny thing I came across, though.
This dude made a Venn diagram about how interracial porn is the only profitable porn subcategory.
Why?
It didn't make a lot of sense.
He said on one side there's cucks who like interracial porn, and then on the other side was people who will pay for porn,
and then in the middle was cucks paying for interracial porn.
Yeah, I guess that's the only—
And then below it he had a disclaimer and said,
it's the same thing as how America convinced everyone in the world that they need deodorant.
They basically, like, manufacture desire for interracial porn.
I think all porns are profitable.
They don't really pay the women.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah, you're just always.
Didn't Mia Khalifa make, like, $15,000 in her entire porn career?
I thought the women made a lot more than the men.
She's probably got signed for the most.
I think gay porn actors make the most.
Really?
Yeah, because it's.
Gay.
It's just I think it's in higher demand because there's, I think, less gay people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I think that they get paid the most.
Because I remember watching a True Life about it.
You remember that show True Life on MTV?
So it's easy to get into the black.
I don't understand.
If there's less demand, why is there more money?
No, get the black into you.
Sorry, there's more demand.
Sorry, there's more demand and less supply.
Definitely not that.
So get...
Yeah.
But there was a guy on True Life that did gay porn that wasn't gay, but he's like...
No, he is. The paycheck is just... i would argue the second that you fuck another dude
the very second yeah i'm truly he's like i'm not gay i do it for the money yeah yeah that was my
experience on 4chan yeah yeah my favorite 4chan post is the guy that has a stain on his floor
you're we don't know he has a stain on his floor.
He's just like,
what do I do?
And there was a shoe
in the background
that was the exact
same size as the stain.
They were just like,
put the shoe over it.
Like, thanks.
That was it.
Yeah.
Post of all time.
That was a killer
reference for a few people.
But Rudy going on
4chan is like
Michael B. Jordan
doing a speech
in East St. Louis.
Like, yeah. He doesn't belong St. Louis. Like, yeah.
He doesn't belong there.
Nice cameo, Rudy.
He won't belong.
Get out of here.
The only thing I know about 4chan is Pepe.
Yeah.
And how they destroyed him.
They started there.
It's like Pele going to a slum of Rio de Janeiro to teach soccer to some guys who have two limbs.
Total.
You're comparing me to those guys.
You belong on 4chan.
You go on 4chan regularly.
Yeah.
That's not good.
If your life had a screen time,
how much of it would be on 4chan?
You could probably see.
A screen has a screen time.
How much time have you spent on it?
No, it's probably less than half of my internet usage.
Do you get karma points on Reddit?
No, it's all anonymous.
Okay, so we can't see your score?
Yeah, no.
Damn, that'd be cool.
There's got to be.
That'd be cool to see.
Is that a new watch?
No.
Oh.
I usually just wear black, and it blends in with my arm.
While I was gone, were the flowers explained?
No.
What do you have flowers, Kyle?
I saw them.
I just snagged them off, poached them off someone's desk.
Wait, really?
Yeah.
Somebody's about to get in trouble.
We can make more use out of them.
Why don't you go give one to a girl?
That was the plan, was to have you boys divvy these out.
Okay.
As you see fit.
Should we bring the girl in to do it?
No, I want to bring a boy in. Let do it or should we no I want to bring a boy
let's do a secret camera
I want to bring like a
Zoopy in
and have him
having Zoopy
and force somebody
to give it to a girl
with a camera
on them
yeah
I think that's a really good idea
you want to make like
someone else
give a flower to a girl
wait is that her
that's Mary Rose Roach
you using Zoopy
as a proper
or common noun
as a common or common noun?
As a common noun.
Yeah, lowercase c.
I played in the lingerie football league once.
Oh, that's a cool celebration.
Just as a sub.
They called me for holding. Oh, she's a beast.
Be a fire Halloween costume.
Be old.
That's not still going, is it? Nah. No, it's not still going is it Nah
No it's not
Oh she could go
Oh my god that explosiveness
I like how they don't use
Regular football helmets
They just go with the old like
1980s hockey helmets
They try to draft busts
That was good Thanks man That was good these hockey helmets. They try to draft busts.
That was good.
Thanks, man.
That was good.
That's why they pay you the big bucks.
Yeah, you're right.
I do make tons of money.
Yeah.
I would love to go
check that out.
It's a shame it's gone now.
It'd be a fun bachelor party
with the fellas.
Yeah, it would,
but we're our 13th birthday
with TJ.
Pretty much the same experience TJ. Jersey kids there.
Think anybody has an OnlyFans where they run
Oklahoma drills? Wow.
There's usually like a clip per
year in spring break.
It's like a girl
who does an
Oklahoma drill on the beach and gets
concussed. One girl takes it
way more seriously than the other girl.
It's always a shot put girl.
I'm talking about behind a ring light.
Oh, yeah.
The whole nine.
I'm sure we could dig that up.
4chan probably has got that.
The whole thread.
A lot of DeviantArt on there, too.
You did not preface that.
Why wouldn't I?
Why would I?
You expected him to tell you
everything about 4chan i just expect so much nudity and i can see you oklahoma have a good
i don't even know what that is it's pretty tulsa you know who's you know who's silently killing it
in tulsa is the is the hansen brothers a lot of a lot of people forgot about them. Mbop boys? They blew up in the 90s. Mbop, the like.
They were monstrous.
And then, unfortunately, they garnered a lot of hate from the 90s.
You know the type that wore loose.
Of course, Backlash, yeah.
They were angsty.
Angsty.
Angsty.
Angsty.
Or Banksy.
Some of the more banks.
Anxiety.
Well, the one, Taylor Hanson, he has seven children.
Is he the oldest?
He's very involved in the Tulsa scene.
Zach.
Philanthropy and the like.
Are they Mormons?
No, he just keeps having kids.
He's only 37. Were they from Oklahoma? No, he just keeps having kids. He's only 37.
Were they from Oklahoma
or did they settle there?
Tulsa.
Nobody settles in Oklahoma,
do they?
Oh, yeah.
Sooners did.
That's literally
why they have a state.
Right.
The original settlers,
yeah, settled.
That's how they got there.
That's how they fucking got there.
He says,
your wife is a settler.
People don't move.
People don't transplant.
Very true.
Is Oklahoma like shitty?
It's not.
Oklahoma's fine.
Oklahoma City's not great.
It's okay.
It's fine.
I would say it's shitty, yeah.
Oklahoma City's shitty.
Oh, shit.
That's where they bombed that.
The Oklahoma City bombings were there.
There's one guy.
Granted, you could become a cult billionaire there.
Isn't it run by some crazy white family?
Oklahoma? adult billionaire there one of these boys run by some crazy white family oklahoma who's the richest person or family from oklahoma it's got to be
well there's a newspaper guy skier bennett's seaboon pickens are they from oklahoma we're doing sass we're in that lane checked checked out because I saw Owen turn around rapidly and look behind him.
I didn't know what he was looking at.
It's Enrique's crew.
And I tuned back in during the Oklahoma thing.
I turned because I couldn't hold back laughter at how funny their joke was.
I think those guys are here to get rid of the shark smell.
Let's call it a day after that.
Oh, my God.
No, it smells horrible.
It's horrible in this office.
You want to give a flower to someone?
I want,
no, because people think
it's KB doing a bit.
No, I can't do it.
You want to find a Zoopy?
That's why someone like Zoopy could.
I think Kevin Zoopy.
I think Rudy could do it.
Oh, he can't.
Oh, because they know
he's on the act.
They all cheered him on
when he got brought up
to the big leagues.
It's true.
You told me not to bring him on today.
It's not what happened, Brandonon you said don't bring rudy it's not at all what happened if it's true then pull up no that's what he said
but it's cool up you said he's like a threat right like i said should i bring rudy in and
you said you were like andrew schultz no i said should should we bring people in like rudy and
all them and i was like let's just do us today.
Rudy's a Toledo Mudhead.
I mean, specifically Rudy.
What's a Toledo Mudhead?
Is that a baseball team?
Mudhead.
Mudhead.
Triple A.
Retail baseball.
Killing it in triple.
Yeah.
And hold up.
Yeah.
No, I agree with that completely.
He does batter balls.
You're better than a lot of the Tigers.
I told him at like 1030 to come in because I thought Nick wasn't going to be here.
Why didn't you think Nick was going to be here and that's when I texted Nick Why didn't you think
Nick was going to be here?
You said you were
texting us
You said you're not coming
I said I'm out today
Alright
I didn't want to have to expose
I can't believe
I fucked up that
Oklahoma joke so bad
What are you exposing?
It wasn't funny
It wasn't funny
It wasn't funny
I was kidding
Yeah you actually did it
Hey Nicky
B-Walk needs
They're going to be
ripping me apart
Mujibah You're going to be ripping me apart. Mujib.
They're going to be ripping me.
It wasn't a joke.
It was stupid.
You were actually just a little mean to them.
I said I had to go get pins.
I thought you'd go get pins with me.
And then you said you weren't coming.
What are you doing?
Brandon, it's Nick Tuesday.
And you said, is that real?
I said, yeah, I need a day off.
And you said, oh, ellipses.
Guess the yak's going to suck.
Is that not guilting?
Is that not fucking guilting?
That is guilting. That's not at all what our interaction was.
Alright, so, yeah, okay.
Remembered, remembered.
Brandon. Remembered. He didn't think you guys
were in either. He thought it was just gonna be him.
What's cool about that is it's very offensive
to Kyle. Yeah. No, it's not.
How is it not?
It is.
Because when I host Pick Central and then I have to come back and host the Yak,
I'm in Pick Central mindset and I never know how to do jokes around you guys
and it's always awkward when it's just us.
What's Pick Central mindset?
I have to carry the ball a little bit more than I have to carry the ball on this show.
And then I – whatever.
It doesn't matter.
You need some load management. You need some load management.
I need some load management.
What time was that at?
Probably about 11.
And then that's when you went to the bullpen.
11.15.
When I came to you, yes.
Damn, you were busy at 11.15.
I think some of our best episodes don't have me.
I disagree.
That's not true, but I strongly disagree.
That was cute.
Do you have receipts, honey?
Yeah, the entire show ran
for five years before I got here.
And it was a disaster every day.
It fought cancellation every single day.
The Storm Chasers video came out yesterday
and it is very good.
It was almost like a blessing that they got kicked out of the first one. It just made for a The Storm Chasers video came out yesterday, and it is very good. Really, really good.
Check that out.
It was almost like a blessing that they got kicked out of the first one.
It just made for a really good video.
Yeah.
Those motherfuckers, though.
They're in a gas station parking lot.
So fun.
That guy rocked.
I know.
I was cracking up at that.
Yeah.
It was awesome.
He looked a lot like Adam Sandler.
Yeah, he kind of did.
I think they might be headed towards...
Something you never really want to be described as.
Unless you are.
The Adam Sandler.
Half the girls on the internet are like,
oh, I want to fuck Adam Sandler.
Yeah, they want to fuck Adam Sandler.
They don't want to fuck some guy who looks like Adam Sandler.
Reminds them of Adam Sandler.
It would be funny if a guy...
Because Adam Sandler gets to fuck
because he has the personality of Adam Sandler.
Yeah, he is Adam Sandler.
Adam Sandler has the look like Adam Sandler. Not even that being Adam Sandler. to fuck because he has the personality of Adam Sandler. Yeah, he is Adam Sandler. Adam Sandler has the personality of Adam Sandler.
He's not even that being Adam Sandler.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It'd be funny if a guy went out, like, dressed as Adam Sandler.
He's just like, what the fuck, dude?
I just cannot get laid.
Like, this is fucking bullshit.
Everyone on the internet keeps saying that they want to fuck Adam Sandler.
I have all the physical traits of Adam Sandler.
He kicked me out of bounds wearing basketball shorts.
Have you guys ever seen Funny People?
Yeah. Yeah.
It's a good movie.
Is that the one where...
Fuck yeah, it is.
Is that the one with Eric Bana, the Australian guy?
Something you would either know for a fact or know for a fact.
Yeah, you don't just kind of know if you're Eric Bana.
I can't remember if that's his name.
What the fuck are you looking at?
Is this fact I wanted everyone to know I retained true?
Okay, so the tertiary character in Funny People, that was Eric Bana.
That was Eric Bana, right?
Or am I mistaken?
So I know he was in Troy, and I know he was the Hulk.
As if this is right, it's impressive.
Well, this is the difference between-
Actually, TJ, Google that.
This is the difference between AAA baseball.
I can run that play out there.
That play flies out. No, no, no. We all- My God, did you hear Brandon talking about Eric Bana? Brandon's guilty, I'm guilty. I'm guilty difference between AAA baseball. I can run that play out there. That play flies out. No, no, no.
Brandon's guilty. I'm guilty.
Nick's guilty. We all do that.
Brandon and Che did it on trivia.
They talked about guessing the
answer when they didn't know
every time. That's like their technique.
They lay out all the information
that they have.
Even if they get it wrong, some people are like,
Listen, guys, I don't know the answer. Rudy! Rudy, even if they get it wrong, they're like, some people are like, yeah, there he is. Listen guys,
I don't know the answer
to this interview.
Rudy,
Rudy,
what a pool,
Rudy.
I know things.
Rudy,
what a pool.
Guilty.
Rude boy,
what a pool.
Yeah.
Was he the one
who's like,
dating the dude
that Adam,
or married to the dude
that Adam Sandler
is trying to,
the girl that Adam Sandler
is trying to date?
Yeah.
I don't care,
you,
you.
I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.
You can...
I wasn't either.
I was going to take Nick Tuesday as well.
That's the thing.
I want it to be...
No one asked me if I was coming in, though.
There should be a third weekend, and it should be Tuesday.
Brandon, if Sass wasn't coming in, would you have texted him?
No.
He doesn't have his number.
He doesn't even have my number.
Well, first of all, I do have your number.
I don't have yours.
Ooh.
It's not saved.
What's that?
Okay.
Yeah, I would... I think he would have said the show sucked for anybody. If we're down to four... What's that? Okay, yeah, I would.
I think he would have said the show sucked for anybody.
If we're down to four, yeah, if Kyle had been out, I'd have been like, oh, fuck, the show's going to suck.
If we're down to four people, I need more people.
Without Big Cat and Roan, it's a show of role players.
And when you lose one role player, you actually texted and KB, I don't know how you felt about this.
You texted and said, Owen, are you hosting today?
I did. Owen was going to host over KB, longest member of the show. I don't know how you felt about this. You texted and said, Owen, are you hosting today? I did.
Owen was going to host over KB, longest member of the show.
I don't know why this is a thing.
Owen famously hosted last year.
Owen does have more host roles than me.
He does.
Owen famously hosted when he came back from L.A.
He was the only one here, and he did a great job.
He did a great job.
Okay, well, Owen, you want to host today?
So I don't know why that's a problem.
Rudy, I want to bring somebody in.
Sounds like you're picking favorites. Who do you want to bring in, I want to bring somebody in. Sounds like you're picking favorites.
Who do you want to bring in?
I want to bring somebody in today.
Brandon, I appreciate you.
I'm just making sure there's no KB erasure.
I don't want any KB erasure.
I just want to make sure KB has a high level of respect.
Sometimes people take a little eraser to KB.
Kyle has the utmost respect.
Doesn't sound like it.
Okay, now let me make a fool out of you. Let me turn you into some type of ruse.
Why?
Oh, it's payback.
Rudy, why don't you go grab somebody?
A zoopy.
Grab somebody?
Somebody you see fit.
Grab an upstairs fit.
Grab someone who people wouldn't expect.
Who you see fit.
Like who you could see getting really into shape this year
okay
and it can't be me or Kyle
they're already
shredded
to death
oh for two in the lobby
oh
I know
oh bro
oh shit
see that joke
would have never happened
without me here
that's the thing
he wouldn't have had
the confidence
to pull it off
let's get Frankie in Frankie looks a lot skinnier than I thought I'm going to slap him about me here. That's the thing. He wouldn't have had the confidence to pull it off.
Let's get Frankie in.
Frankie looks a lot skinnier than I thought.
I don't know why everyone's saying that Frankie's fat.
I hope nobody ever describes me like, ah, I like KB.
I don't want to bring him in.
I like him.
Remember when Big Cat and Trent used to be the fat people here?
Yeah, that's awesome.
Yeah.
Why is he long? Borelli?
Ew!
Ew, bro.
He knows he has to.
Hell no.
Fuck.
Yeah.
So, right.
You're a movie guy, right?
Was it Eric Bana in Funny People?
It's really sweet.
It's really sweet.
It's really sweet.
Was he like...
You're good.
I know it was Rogan, Leslie Mann, Sandler.
Seth Rogan.
I think it was Eric Bana.
I don't know anything about that.
I think it's Eric Bana.
I think it's Eric Bana.
Oh, well.
Very obscure movie and role.
Yeah, who would know that?
What's up?
Not much.
See the shark?
Oh, yeah.
I heard you gagging over that.
Still doing that?
Back of my teeth now.
Isn't that, like, illegal?
Yeah, I don't think it's legal.
Wait, are people accusing you of having a fat face?
Yeah, you look good.
You're not looking at you.
You're not a fat man.
That's all you're examining.
I'm just saying it's not.
As you walked by and we were like, I don't know.
This is why people have body dysmorphia.
I don't really have a fat face.
I do have a fat face.
No, you don't.
It's just not angry. I have a completely normal looking face. I do have a fat face. No, you don't. It's just not angry.
I have a completely
normal looking face.
It's,
so I have a huge,
not shredded by any means,
fat underbelly neck here.
Right?
So when I do this,
look at that.
And that's everybody.
No, it's not though.
Dude, when you look at that.
Who's in armor behind you?
I've got no turn.
Okay.
So would you describe it as,
I'm an iguana. But I have that too. Everyone has. So would you describe it as. I'm an iguana.
But I have that too.
Everyone has that.
Would you describe it as below average, average, or above average fat face?
Me?
Yeah.
Talk into the mic, Frankie.
What the fuck?
Would that be more of a soft jaw than a fat face?
I've never, I never grew up thinking a soft jaw.
You're not fat.
This is something new right here.
And I have a guy that messaged me saying he can fix this in 30 minutes.
Do you say it's-
30 minutes?
You're going to freeze it?
He's lying.
He can do something.
He takes the salt out and pushes it into your clavicle.
That's not-
That sounds awful.
That's not going to work.
Can we look up that procedure?
Who is this?
Something about taking the salt out and they just-
What?
Don't believe that.
It's salt?
I've seen people on TikTok.
Because it's sodium?
You can mold it back.
It says it'll take 30 minutes, no problem.
Oh, that's the same thing as Rick's eyes.
That's just a shyster.
Rick's eyes got fixed, but now they're slightly...
I don't know.
Imagine the first guy that looked like that going into the doctor,
and the doctor got to choose the name.
He's like, yeah, you're cockeyed.
What, man?
I already have this. That's choose the name. He's like, yeah, you're cockeyed. What, man? I already have this.
That's not the name.
Have you guys ever had a true interaction with Riggs?
No.
Yes.
And how'd that go?
Orly.
How was it poor?
There's photos of you talking to him at a party.
Yeah, it was at the Ellie Schnitt Valentine's Day Party 2019.
The girls who get it, get it.
If you get it, you get it.
True.
I remember leaving that, whatever bar that was,
the Ainsworth maybe, feeling worse about myself.
Do you directly correlate that to Sam?
Yeah. He wasn't correlate that to Sam? Yeah.
He wasn't a dick to me.
Oh, because he's a great guy.
I love that he's...
Talking to him makes you feel like
you are his subordinate.
He made me feel as uncomfortable as he could.
Did you have an interaction with him?
Yeah, just one.
I talked to a kid that worked at Pione a kid that worked at Piners like for the summer
and he was like
yeah like I met everyone like
Frankie and Trent are super nice
Riggs is a fucking asshole though
I swear to god
I swear to god
I'm not gonna have you swear to god for that
I didn't say he was an asshole
he's a good guy.
I like rigs.
No, I didn't say he was an asshole either.
I was just saying what the kid told me.
Yeah, that one.
That very one.
Speak of the devil.
Dude, foreplay.
We just have bad photos of ourselves, man.
What do you think that correlates to?
What's the common denominator?
A bunch of ugly fucking fat pieces of shit
the weirdest thing it is the strangest thing we just for the life of us we just riggs has fired
10 photographers already fuck man rudy you were with me when that fat photo was taken you're in
the photo it's probably the worst you've ever looked wow whoa whoa whoa yeah i mean i i don't
know why you had to do that.
Because I'm just saying, we both didn't know how it happened,
and all of a sudden it just, out of nowhere.
You have multiple bad photos.
Your thing is you can't, if there's a lens, you can't turn sideways.
Yeah.
Your side profile.
They're not even bad.
Like, the photos that you're saying are bad, no one would notice.
No, the one like a year ago was bad.
My opinion.
The latest one wasn't that bad.
The moon face original one.
Yeah, that was bad.
Now it's not.
The face was covered by, it's like someone was holding it up with just two fat fingers.
Yeah, it was like someone humanized Jabba the Hutt.
He looked like a crystal ball.
I just wanted to grab him.
Look at the future.
I found Riley.
Everyone say hi to Riley.
Hi Riley. Friend of the program.
Yeah, good friend of the program.
We're going to have you get your flirt on today.
And we have an undercover
camera. The Zoom
technology. Who's going to do the camera?
He's going to have it in his other hand, I think.
We're going to have you deliver flowers
to people. We have one rule. You cannot
laugh. You can one rule. You cannot laugh.
You can't laugh.
You can like slightly smile.
This is a fine line HR wise.
You can't play it off like this is even remotely a joke.
Does he have to lick his lips?
Yeah, if they're chapped.
You have to lick your lips once.
Hand it and then lick my lips?
I think you just hand it and just be like,
hey, this, somebody was selling
them on the street
for like,
you know,
eight bucks each
and this is reminding
me of you.
Say 20 each.
Someone you've
never talked to.
Oh, okay.
I can do that.
Yeah, you can do that?
Yeah.
And you just gotta
brush it off like
it's like some
little thing.
You got this for free.
Should I go,
should I do,
like, producer?
I think you go upstairs.
Why were you so scared?
Upstairs, other side.
I was like,
you got someone in mind.
Wait, yeah, yeah,
go producer.
You're locked in.
So you guys are forcing me to go over to that table?
No, man.
Producer?
Actually, you sit upstairs.
Yeah, you can do her.
Go over to who you were talking about in producer.
No, I have no one in mind.
Yeah, whatever.
You got someone in mind.
So here's what you're going to do.
You're going to just go up, give it to them, kind of like default eye contact
and say, hey, like I
got this on the
street for free.
I guess I'll give it
to you if you want it.
Yeah.
And then, yeah.
And then I can do
that.
Yeah.
Can we set Riley up
undercover?
Tell him I sent him
a Zoom link.
Tell him to turn his
Wi-Fi off.
Turn your Wi-Fi off.
Wi-Fi off?
Yeah.
He sent you a Zoom link.
But Riley, you douchebag,
you want to stick on
for the rest of the show?
I don't think so. All right, bet, bet, bet. you a Zoom link. Borrelli, you douchebag. You want to stick on for the rest of the show? I don't think so.
All right, bet, bet, bet.
Get the fuck out.
God damn.
Shut up.
That dude just flushed his career down the drain.
Now he has to go fucking play golf every day.
Poor soul.
All right, so maybe you practice on Brandon.
Okay.
Can I have the flower?
No.
You get the flower when you earn it?
Yeah, what the fuck?
What?
Pretend like you're holding it.
You're walking way too...
Okay.
I think you should act like you kind of weren't expecting to see them at their desk.
Okay.
Go.
And maybe try and cry a little little bit too that's good always a showman taking the long route hey how are you yeah this is a good
choice rudy smiling too much though can't No, he's doing a very good job.
No, I think he smiles, and then he realizes in his head that he's smiling too much and shuts it up real quick.
I just thought it would be a good day.
Oh, perfect.
That was perfect.
That was perfect.
Burn the flower.
I just don't want the cameraman to be seen to ruin the illusion.
Riley is the cameraman in his other hand, I think.
You think we should have another? I think it would be better to have the illusion. Riley is the cameraman in his other hand, I think. You think we should have another?
I think it would be better to have another camera.
Should we recruit another cameraman?
I don't want to...
What about Spider?
It's hard to detect,
or it's hard to not detect a cameraman.
All right, I'm joining.
It needs to be someone who knows the angles.
Yeah, I guess just film it yourself.
I think it has to be him.
Yeah, film it yourself.
Act like you're doing a TikTok or something. something no no no it's worse just hold it slyly just go do it
yeah that's actually well we got without us see if it works see if it's funny i bet it's funny
yeah we got three tries at this through wax whoa oh sorry don't be sorry. Always sorry.
Oh.
My life is sorry.
Look at that.
Oh.
That's good.
That's perfect.
All right, so.
Okay, yeah, just don't be obvious.
Let me flip the camera.
Should I waistband it?
Yeah, waistband it.
Try that.
Oh, well.
Oh, that might be very obvious.
No, it's not.
Oh, that's just weird.
I think you should probably turn the volume down on your phone.
Do you have AirPods?
I do not.
I'm poor.
I forgot, yeah.
I feel like Jeske would know the moves.
It feels a little creepy in the waistband.
It's like a crotch cam.
No waistband?
Yeah.
I think, yeah, maybe just have it in your other hand.
Yeah, just hold it like people hold their iPhone.
You don't need to.
It has to be a clear angle as long as we can see it.
Your leg is crazy.
Oh, you can hear it?
Yeah.
Ramping out right now?
Got RLS, like a Goosebumps novel.
Can you still see me, TJ?
No, fuck.
Oh, I turned off video.
There we go.
Say cheese and die, headass.
All right, I'll go try.
All right.
Thank you.
Shout out R.L. Stein.
Yep.
Thank you.
Yep.
Yep.
Good luck.
Oh.
You know where you're going?
This could, like, make or break.
All right.
Yeah, you could do something.
Do a drive-by.
Get a lay of the land.
Nobody saw when he smashed the microphone into my face.
No, I saw it.
What did he do?
I saw it.
He smashed the microphone into my face.
He's going to Brandon's sister.
Oh, God damn it.
God damn it.
That's free.
Okay.
I just wanted to make sure you had a good day.
Oh, no.
Oh, no. Oh my god
We got two more
Come get your second
That was perfect
That was amazing
Great choice
Headshot
Oh my god
Here get your second
Beautiful Fucking A Riley Love this guy That was amazing. Great choice. Headshot. Oh, my God. Here, get your second. Beautiful.
Fucking A.
Riley.
Love this guy.
It's got to be someone you don't know.
I don't know who she's with.
Yeah, exactly.
That was perfect.
Don't have to explain anything to me.
She was very happy.
Probably made her day.
Probably did.
She just moved out.
Until she finds out it was a prank.
Hey, you know how I said, you know how I implied that I was attracted to you?
That was a joke.
And everybody laughed.
How could you believe that?
What is that?
Until she finds out how she got the job.
Oh, my God.
It's all been a prank.
It's a bold play that he decided to approach from behind.
That's never a good idea.
Was he like running when he was approaching her?
Nobody's over there.
He took a direct line.
Go into the girl's restroom.
Yeah, go into the girl's bathroom.
Oh, that would be so funny.
Hey, I know you're pooping.
I just like...
He's walking fast as fuck.
Why did he go this way?
He's moving.
Don't give it to the janitor.
No, no, no.
Is he going to the control room?
No, there's no women in the control room.
There's no women in this.
There might be one woman over here.
No, there's one over here.
You never said you had to give it to him.
He's going to...
I just wanted to give you this.
Kelly, Mark.
Oh, my God.
Thank you so much.
It was really nice of you.
All right, all right.
He is killing it.
I want him to go to a group of girls and only give one of the girls.
But hesitate.
I think he should maybe take it back and give it to someone.
I think you've got to go upstairs to find a pot of girls.
I think he should give it to a girl and just be like, hey, can you give this to somebody else from me?
No, that's perfect.
And he is a killer.
Is he running?
I think he's sprinting.
He's walking completely normal.
He's got to strut.
He's got to strut because he's doing so good.
He's owning the moment.
He's got to really make sure he gets this one right.
Again, absolutely crushing it.
Great job.
Perfection.
But one more task.
We want you to go to a group
or like two girls,
maybe one girl sitting next to another.
Go up to one girl and just be like, hey, can you
give this to the girl
sitting next to her?
Okay.
We think you might need to go upstairs.
It should probably be upstairs.
Maybe you should go up, do a little circle around,
come back down and get the flower once you decide.
That's a good point.
Do some recon work.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go scout.
Yeah, let's go scouting mission.
The scout will pay.
You're doing perfect.
Remember, you do lick the lips, half smile, very nervous.
Going at a great speed.
You're going in at a great angle.
You should be proud of yourself.
Yeah, your approach play is fantastic.
His approach play is unreal.
That's it, I needed this. An approach play is unreal. He said I needed this.
And approach play is what?
40% of sealing the deal?
100%.
Also, what he's doing right now.
100% that it's 40%?
100% that it's 40%.
This next move, he's doing a classic nagging technique.
That's right.
That pick-up artists use.
Where's his?
Oh, there he goes.
Pay attention to the friend.
Oh, Jordan Berry.
Jordan.
She got off easy.
Somebody's going home empty-handed.
Where is everybody?
It's Nick Tuesday.
Deadass office.
There's no one up there.
That could have worked.
This is a bad look.
The further you go into the corner, the more dudes there are.
We just need two adjacent girls.
This is back where Greer sits, isn't it?
Yeah, there's no girls back here.
There's no way.
There was a woman.
There was a woman.
She must be new.
The upstairs.
A meeting would work.
Walking into a meeting would be great.
Oh, unreal.
We just need two girls.
Let's get Riley fucking fired, dude.
He almost went right into it.
Wait a minute.
He hardly went anywhere.
He only went left. Whoa, whoa, whoa. He hardly went anywhere. He only went left.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Let him go.
He probably has an idea.
No, he knows.
He's seen what we didn't see.
It's a sense game.
He also knows I think left would be all.
Oh, Erica's office.
And start watching.
Could it be Erica?
I don't think so.
I don't think she's here.
It's Nick Tuesday.
I saw her like 20 minutes ago.
It looks.
We got.
What did it look like?
In the mic.
I have two options.
The girls who are sitting next to me.
Right.
Get that out of your system.
Two girls, both sitting next to each other.
Never spoken to them, never talked to them.
Are there names?
There we go.
No.
I don't even think I've ever seen them.
Now, is there legal implications to doing this?
Mr. Collins.
Yes.
Retrieve your flower.
Final rose.
The duty is yours.
Should he know their names, though?
This isn't supposed to be like,
could you give this to him?
How are we going to get their names?
Are you licking the lips?
Are you licking the lips?
Yeah.
Steven Che, you're up there. do you know everybody up there that might be
chay's team yeah it was my team in like the way back corner by where greer sits oh then i don't
know is there a meeting that you could like go into yes with yeah there was one girl in one
meeting with like four okay oh yeah but if. Yeah, actually. What if those are clients?
What if those are outside clients?
That might not work.
No, it could work amazingly for us.
Bad for him.
Let's put it up to a vote.
I say no.
Yeah.
Yes.
I vote yeah.
100%.
I vote 100%, 40%.
I think it would be funnier to do the-
Do you?
Do you now?
I'm putting in my opinion.
We can always go get one of the other flowers back.
Yeah, you might want to do that.
There are like three.
Yeah, yeah.
Wait.
Film yourself going and taking the flower back from the other two girls.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're going to need more flowers.
I have more flowers.
You said there's more at his desk.
Wait, why do you have more?
You have more what on your what?
Yeah.
I have more flowers.
Why do you have flowers?
Oh, those are yours?
I don't know.
Somebody gave me one. What is going on? What's happening today? You can tell me more flowers. Why do you have flowers? Oh, those are yours? I don't know. Somebody gave me one.
What is going on?
What's happening today?
This was, I got it last Friday, just to be clear.
From what?
Yeah.
From whom?
I think it was a gift from Erica to the token CEO pod, and then Madeline gave me one of them.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, maybe you returned it.
Wait, did they do a prank?
Maybe, hey, hold on.
Maybe you returned the favor to Erica. You could do that. I could do it. Wait, did they do a prank? Hey, hold on. Maybe you return the favor to Erica.
You could do that.
I could do that.
Oh, wait.
How?
I think she's in our social media.
Oh, she's on to us.
Oh, she's right there walking by actively.
She's probably got it down.
Probably better that she's leaving.
Okay.
Go get the flower back from Brandon.
That's my sister.
Just be like, I confused you for somebody else.
Yeah.
Make sure you say that.
I would take that with you because you're going to go do the next mission.
No, he can't go double flower.
Stop by.
Okay.
Wait, he's getting another flower.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
Should I let her keep it?
You're on a flower retrieval mission right now.
Retrieve it.
Say you mistook her for someone else.
Got it.
Yeah, exfil. Wait, say like
your... What's a name?
Call her the
wrong name and then be like, oh, fuck.
I'm going to need to take this back.
I thought you were blank.
Yeah. Okay.
Sorry. I thought you were
Wajia.
Okay.
Don't say that.
Don't say that.
Just go to the meeting.
Say a white.
Just go to the meeting.
He's going to take this flower.
Standard white name.
Oh, wait.
Here comes Kelly Martin.
Riley's down for whatever.
This dude is a killer.
Is that a Coen bro?
What's up?
Oh, hey there.
That guy looks like a director of some kind.
He looks like every director.
Movie director.
I think it's a safety.
Hey, Katie.
Could I get the flower back?
You said Katie?
That's her name.
Oh, did he go away?
I thought you were somewhere else.
Oh, what a dickhead.
Oh, no.
Brandon, she might be moving back home.
She might be...
That was mean.
That one was mean.
I hated that.
Yeah, that was too mean.
Give it back.
You should give it back.
Yeah, we should give it back
No it's not a bitch
No it's not
Uh oh Kelly's bitch
Oh fuck
Martin get the fuck out of here
That was mean
Give it back
Yeah that was
We hated that
You also named her
You called her Katie
Her name is
That was too close
Caitlin
Name is Kate
I know
Alright no no
We should leave her alone
Let's know that we despise that
She needs the flower.
It was too far.
Okay, yeah.
Give her, yeah.
Brandon, so you're sending mixed messages.
What do you want?
Do you want your sister to have a flower or not?
What are you doing?
I don't know.
I'm just asking, man.
Do you want her flowered or deep?
Oh, no.
Answer the question, Brad.
I want a flower.
All right.
Okay.
Good.
Then you can't be mad about that.
Okay.
All right.
He's ready to...
We're doing the meeting now?
I think the meeting.
I think he's ready for the meeting.
I mean, it seems like he could do anything.
Okay.
All right.
I think it's meeting time.
Is it meeting time?
Well, let's see what
let's like
what's
Jay what's that meeting upstairs
it doesn't matter
it doesn't matter
it doesn't
it does not matter
if it's outsiders
we can
if it's
if it comes down to
people I would say
are not Barstool employees
they're talking about
like what TikTok sounds
I don't think it matters
promise you
it's a prank
document it
you know who works here
yeah but not over there it's fake want me to go pop in yeah look around I don't think it matters. It's a prank. Documented. You know who works here.
Yeah, but not over there.
It's fake.
Want me to go pop in?
Yeah.
Look around?
Some muscle?
But it's nothing important.
If Erica, Dave, Big Cat are not there, it doesn't matter.
I mean, it's true.
You're not going to get in trouble.
Yeah.
Listen to Sass.
Want me to go pop in?
Yeah.
Pop in. Pop in Pop in
Still vote no on the meeting
On the meeting?
Just won't
You want to be on the record
Correct yes
Yes
I vote yes
Try to gauge a feel
What would be the most awkward
Yeah
And do that
I can do that
Yeah
I know you can
But it has to be the most awkward
It can't be like
The meeting is going to be too awkward
So I can't do it
Yeah
TJ
Now we're talking to him too much
Yeah yeah We him too much.
Yeah, yeah, we're too much guidance.
He's got it on his own.
Yeah, I think he's got it, yeah.
He knows what he's doing.
He's got a flower itch.
I like how the flower's leaving.
It's the perspective of his hand. Yeah, it's the second level of James Bond.
Golden Eye.
He just jumped off a dam.
Okay.
All right.
Quiet so we can hear him.
Oh, it's eerie.
It is.
Oh, boy.
Oh, dear.
Oh, it's...
Oh, she's in like the far back.
Oh, no.
This is bad.
I don't know.
I don't know anymore.
I don't know anybody in that meeting. Let him do it. Oh, no, this is bad. I don't know. I don't know. Shh. I don't know anybody
in that meeting.
Shh.
Let him do it.
Oh, wait.
What's another one?
I didn't just listen to him.
I have to talk.
No, go on now.
Tell him now.
No, no, no.
Please go on.
This is awful.
This one doesn't look good.
Oh, I'm afraid.
Don't do this one.
Shut the fuck up.
Let him do it.
I'm alive.
No, don't.
Oh, he's doing it.
He's doing it.
He's doing it. Do you guys have something? Is it important
i just want to
yeah just want to make your day a little bit better
yeah what did i say
oh my god that was really nice I couldn't walk. Oh, my God.
I can't believe it.
Oh.
That was really nice.
This dude is a savage.
I'm going to put him on the logo.
He's the man.
He's the man.
He's the man.
Oh, my God.
All right, let's give him.
What a fucking king.
Oh, man.
This dude is amazing. Oh, man. This dude is here.
That was amazing.
Oh, my God.
That was perfect.
Unbelievable.
Good shit.
Unbelievable.
They're talking so much shit on you up there.
Yeah.
You nailed that.
Oh, my God.
So what was going through your head when you did the first swoop?
I just wanted to see.
I wanted to point the camera at the room to see if you could hear anything what you guys said.
And I couldn't hear shit.
So I just went in there.
Do you think they noticed your camera?
No, because we're distracted.
Yeah.
And they were kind of distracted because I don't think they've ever had anyone fuck with them here.
Oh, no.
It was funny when you were like, is this important?
And he was like, no.
Oh, this?
No.
That was great. You killed it. Yeah, that was No. That was great.
You killed it, dude.
Yeah, that was amazing.
Ah, damn.
Absolutely killed it.
We have to honor him somehow.
Those aren't...
I stole those flowers from somebody who owns them.
I would say he definitely gets the last ten minutes on the show, no?
You can have a seat.
Come on.
Take a seat.
Pop a squat.
This is your platform now.
So now we've distributed flowers that are somebody else's.
Yeah, where did you get those?
I think those were Gia's.
It's her birthday.
Oh, so you stole her flowers?
Yeah.
You stole her birthday flowers.
She knows where they are.
She can watch the episode back.
Yeah, watch the episode.
A little Easter egg.
Man, that was a rush, Riley.
Thank you so much.
God damn.
It was good.
There's one thing what?
There's one thing that you own that I know you don't use.
What?
You, Brandon.
He wants a gift for doing all this.
No, no, no, no, no.
What are you talking about?
The Arby's meat suit.
You want my Arby's meat suit for doing that?
No.
Claim your prize.
What do you want?
I was just wondering if you're using that.
Oh, yeah, just a random.
What is that? Are you using the Arby's meat suit? What the hell is the Arby's meat suit? You can have the Arby's meat suit. What do you want? I was just wondering if you're using it. Oh, no, just a random. What is that?
Are you using the Arby's meat suit?
What the hell is the Arby's meat suit?
You can have the Arby's meat suit.
What is it, Brandon?
I'm the biggest Arby's fan.
Do we have the hat, TJ?
We're not taking the hat from TJ.
No, I don't need the hat.
You just need the meat suit.
I just want the meat suit.
I want to wear it out one day.
I'll have the meat suit for you tomorrow.
Thank you, Brandon.
There we go.
I'm not giving it to you, but you can have it.
You deserve it.
I can wear it.
You can wear it.
Thank you. That's all I need. Why aren't you giving it to him, Brandon? You can have the meat suit for you tomorrow. Thank you, Brandon. There we go. I'm not giving it to you, but you can have it. You deserve it. I can wear it. You can wear it. Thank you.
That's all I need.
Why aren't you giving it to him, Brandon?
You can have the meat suit.
Thank you.
Thank you.
He deserves it.
When would you ever wear the... That's a one...
You can wear it once.
People are like, is that that same meat suit that you wore?
Nah.
I've never worn this.
You will wear it.
Oh, I will wear it out on a Saturday night.
Okay, I'll bring it to you.
Sick.
What does it look like?
It's called peacocking.
Is there a way we can see what that looks like?
Should we just Google Arby's meat suit?
No, but it's a shirt.
I'm trying to think what it could possibly be.
It's a jumpsuit of just their roast beef and their meats.
Oh, really?
So it's like Lady Gaga at the Grammys?
Somewhat, yeah.
Okay.
That's of everything, all the guys here, that's what you wanted?
Yes.
All right.
I've wanted it for years. They sent it's what you wanted? Yes. All right.
I wanted it for years.
They sent it to me.
Years?
Yeah.
Years?
Why are you asking what I asked you back?
What's going on?
You did.
Yes.
I love Arby's.
There you go.
That's it.
Okay.
It's more of a jump. Who just said, what is this, when we pulled it up?
Oh, I was talking about what are they carrying.
Not that.
What could that be?
That's awesome. I now understand why he wants it. Yeah, it's tight. I think it's kind of gross they carrying. Not that. What could that be? That's awesome.
I now understand why he wants it.
Yeah, it's tight.
I think it's kind of gross.
Yeah.
It is.
Okay, yeah.
It's funny.
You're a vegetarian.
I like it.
All right, cool, man.
Well, you deserve that.
That was fucking sick.
You won yourself a meat suit today.
Thank you.
That was the most metal thing I've seen all week.
And it's going to get so mad at me for guilting him out of his meat suit.
We've got to give more meat suits away.
Yeah, we should.
Arby's has sent a couple to the office now, so if you just tweet, I like Arby's, they'll
probably send you one.
Arby's is a blast.
Yeah, it is.
Arby's is fun.
Everybody knows the food is good, but you always forget how much fun you have at Arby's.
Arby's is in my DMs.
I might get you one.
What size are you?
XL.
Okay, let me see if I can get you your own.
Get this man meated up.
Thank you.
Yeah, hell yeah.
I get another meat suit.
That's very cool.
I wanted to touch on the fake Tourette's girl.
Oh, yeah, let's pull her up.
We can save that.
Let's pull her up.
That could go bad if it's not fake.
Are you out the rest of the week, Sas?
I'm so confident that it's fake that I'm willing to risk being insensitive.
It is definitely fake.
Let's pull her up.
But if it isn't fake somehow.
I'm going to send it.
It's the last specific video that I sent.
Yeah.
She has 4 million TikTok followers.
She's from West Virginia.
Has Tourette's.
You guys be the judge we don't know if it's real or fake I believe she has the syndrome I don't believe you you're now see now you're
I know I'm set yeah safety net I think she's amplifying it a little bit I think it's all
fake but keep in mind I think it's she's using using all TikTok buzzwords as her...
I mean, I don't know.
I've seen a lot of Tourette's people on TikTok.
Apparently someone got busted for faking Tourette's
on TikTok recently.
It's funny that that's the name of the platform.
How do you bust someone for faking Tourette's?
You can't.
That's the gray area.
It was a 30-second video of them not having Tourette's.
They busted on them for faking Tourette's.
Get over here.
Hey, sorry.
I'm going to bust on you.
This is unacceptable.
This reminds me of, what was the girl who was walking backwards?
What?
I have no idea.
Was it a walking backwards girl?
How was that faked?
No, she got the flu vaccine, and then she's like,
the flu vaccine made me walk backwards.
Everything's reversed.
Remember that?
Fuck, remember that old video?
Which one is it?
It was the unboxing one.
Oh, just shaking his leg?
Yeah.
Far down.
Yeah!
Top right.
Talk, I need to find that.
But never forget that sweater.
Nope, that's not it.
She's worn that sweater more than once.
Nope.
Right there, left. Far left. Far left. Maybe sweat. Nope, that's not it. She's worn that sweater more than once. Nope. Right there, left. Far left.
Far left. Maybe not. Little skies.
Maybe, yeah. No, it had a caption.
It's the unboxing. That's it. Yeah,
maybe. That's it. The caption's on the bottom.
Okay. It says... Yep, click.
It says, I love my life.
Oh, no. In the mail from... Real or
fake Tourette's. Self-care for everyone
and I'm so excited to
share it with you guys.
Fuck you.
What up?
So Yeah.
That part. The shake of the pillow was fake.
I don't know.
Sorry, ma'am.
As many of you guys know,
I'm a very big
advocate for mental health because I struggle with it.
My.
This is just all I can't.
I can't.
Myself is awkward.
I don't.
So, yeah, I'm going to show you what I got.
So to start off, I got like a bunch of stickers, like a bunch.
Yeah.
Buckle up.
Look at that.
So, yeah.
This is the first shirt I got.
Guys.
Guys.
I don't know, Kyle.
You could just be a monster yeah I believe her
yeah I don't know
I think there is an appeal regardless
there's a charm
I think she's a sweet girl
I think
it is
an ailment that we need to spread awareness to that's the thing whether
that comes either way you're so happy for them i am happy for her um i think yeah i think
there's a there's a there's a way to look at it and she engages her audience and
the the finger and like the, some of it was,
she's good content.
That's all that matters.
See TikToks,
uh,
they're launching 10 minute videos now.
It could be as long as 10 minutes.
That's what we got.
That's just,
this episode is going to get 4 million views.
That's too long.
10 minutes is way too long.
Way too long. Way too, way too, way too long. Um, is way too long. Way too long.
Way too, way too, way too long.
Is there anyone else you want to call out?
Fuck, I'm trying to find that video. Do you guys remember the video of the dude
in the beginning of the pandemic?
Who got the COVID vaccine?
His leg was shaking? Yeah.
But he's like rolling around.
I know there was like a woman
who was funny.
I remember that, but I don't know how you'd ever find it yeah uh i posted on my story i checked those archives
trying but i'm not seeing it that's a lot of stories it's a shame it's a damn shame
kyle i'm with you i think some of that was exaggerated. Yeah, I mean, either way, do you blame her?
Yeah.
Okay.
I think she did a great job concealing it.
I think that she probably has more Tourette's.
You think she has more?
Yeah, I mean, I think they actively try to cover it up all day, every day.
That's the cross they bear.
Any more Tourette's than that, that's like a fucking breakdancing video, dude.
It's just like,
I get like saying like,
being like,
fuck, fuck.
But,
that's.
No, I thought,
I thought the,
just pumping the pillow,
or the pillow, the pillow shake was what seemed fake to me.
Like she was just max rep.
This is why people need to spread awareness,
because I don't know the...
She's playing piano on 7th Avenue right now.
Let's go get her.
We love what you're doing.
You rock.
So glad you're in here.
She doesn't shake Sass's hand.
I did notice that.
I re-watched that back, because I'm a huge...
He, like, dat me up twice.
I'm a huge Axl stan, and the fact that he ghosted,
he absolutely breezed you.
He knew exactly who you were.
Yeah.
He'd be media prep too.
He'd be like, do you have Tourette's?
She's like, I've been diagnosed with something.
I have ADHD, actually.
With some Tourette's.
Oh, man.
Nice.
I'm glad Rudy was in here today.
And Frankie.
We actually...
Oh, fuck.
Yeah, we have to.
We do have to.
Riley, you're in.
Is this for me?
Yeah.
No, it's everybody.
For all of us.
Okay.
Good job keeping tradition alive, TJ.
Thank you, TJ.
TJ, you son of a bitch dickhead.
No.
No. No.head. No.
No.
No.
No.
Oh, God.
Does that mean we all get wet?
I'm not.
What does it mean?
I don't think it should count. We're all getting wet.
Just one person, right?
No, it's never everyone.
We're all getting wet.
Call Big Cat.
Call Big Cat.
It's never everyone.
We're all getting wet everyone. Call Big Cat. Call Big Cat. It's never everyone. We're all getting wet.
Even if you call Big Cat, this is...
No, it was not agreed upon that we were all getting wet.
I think it's everyone but one.
Everyone but one?
We spin until the driest?
Yeah, we got to go to the driest.
God damn it!
It shouldn't count if Big Cat and Ronar aren't here.
This is Big Cat's entire idea.
That is true.
No.
Guys, we're not going out like this.
You can't go out like this.
I can't get wet.
The wheel is just.
Not.
Imagine the backlash.
Imagine.
I have to go bring my.
You have to.
Fuck.
We have to.
You have to.
I'm so glad you did this.
What was agreed upon?
I got to go.
I can't go.
Fuck.
You can't.
You can't get out of this.
No, no, no.
You're not getting out of this with a wrestling interview.
Listen to what I'm saying.
Listen to what I'm saying.
No, you have no.
Listen to what I'm saying. No, you have no. Listen to what I'm saying.
I'm going to write a note and reserve the bathroom so we don't go in after a shit.
Oh, right.
Oh.
Yes.
Okay.
He ain't coming back.
Oh, he ain't coming back.
All right, let's.
This fuck.
Fuck, dude.
He would never think about the hole like that.
No, Brandon has never thought about the hole.
Never once, man.
Damn, dude.
That's fucking awful.
And Riley, you're a part of it now.
That's fine with me.
I'm surprised you guys didn't just tell me I was the one getting it.
We could have.
I assume the wet wheel at first. Again, it's not a bit thing.
It's not a comedy thing.
It's a wet tradition.
Do we look alike? Yeah, you guys not a bit thing. It's not a comedy thing. No. It's just a good. It's a way. God, there's a tradition.
We look alike.
Yeah, you guys do.
Yeah, exactly.
Almost identical.
I'm definitely fatter than Nick, though.
I wouldn't say definitely.
Yeah.
Yeah. You guys look very alike.
Yeah.
Shit.
Yeah.
You guys do.
You have to say why shit?
Because we're good looking. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Too many. Too many hunks. Yeah. Shit. Yeah, you guys do. Wait, why shit? Because we're both good looking.
Yeah, okay, yeah, too many hunks.
Yeah.
Shit.
I hate when that happens.
Shit.
Yeah.
When girls flirt with you and you flirt back, it's awful.
Dude, you should guys rock meat suits together, meat brothers.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess we could be meat brothers.
We could enjoy it.
Yeah, Rudy, I guess you're fucking right.
Yeah, be meat bros.
I don't want to get wet at all.
I don't want to get wet at all.
Call Big Cat and see if there's like a... Nick Tuesday's Zod doesn't have to get wet.
That's always been a rule.
That has been a rule on Nick Tuesday's.
I got like shit to do after.
Yeah, me too.
We got to go bring our fucking checks.
Oh, we could be wet.
Yeah, or just like, just do t-shirt and then...
Have no clothes either.
Just do t-shirt, wet.
Pants lying around. Also, you could be the do t-shirt, wet, pants lying around.
Also, you could be the driest.
Yeah, you could win driest.
Just see it all. And then we have a bunch of new wet wheel merch.
Shut the fuck up, TJ.
This is all your fault, you colossal dick.
I respect the wheel.
So easy to not get wet, too.
You were so close to just forgetting.
Wait, TJ, if we just cut it now
and then just strip it
from the episode
it'll last like
eight minutes.
What about the live viewers?
Fuck them.
They're bots.
They're mostly bots.
Mind you
that was at a little angle
it is circular.
So I've never been a part
of this.
What's about to happen?
All of us are going to get wet except for one person.
You have to go under the shower fully clothed.
Yo.
Fuck.
Big cap.
What's up?
So we did the wet wheel, daily tradition, and it landed on wet.
No.
We're just wondering, you and Ro need to be there.
Yes, I need to be there.
Yes, I need to be there, yes.
For us to actually follow through, right?
Yes.
Okay.
Agreed.
Thank you.
Yeah, yeah, just making sure.
I don't want to miss it.
It's got to be six out of seven.
You've got to get six out of seven.
That's the rule.
Oh, fuck.
Like one person probably gets what?
Oh, six regular members out of seven?
Six regular members out of seven.
All right.
Stop.
People are going to be furious.
I don't think they're going to care.
It was a good show.
Yeah.
No.
Thank you, Big Cap.
I don't know, man.
We'll do it Friday.
We'll do it Friday.
Yeah.
Nick, the deflower joke was fucking beautiful.
Thanks, man.
The episode is worth it.
All right.
I'm out.
Yeah, I think he just pretty much said you have Riley.
If you get wet, then we're good.
So why don't you go...
Hasn't he done enough?
Don't make Riley get wet.
I can get wet.
It's not a...
He wants to get wet.
I can get wet.
I think you have to.
I can get wet.
Man to man, no matter what they say.
Can he bring Zoopy in for a one-on-one?
He can bring Zoopy in.
I'm against this.
I think we should get wet.
He can't just say
we can't get wet.
Yeah, but that wasn't
very 10x of him.
10x was last season, bro.
We're fine.
EJ, what do you think?
I think...
You know the public opinion.
People are going to be furious
if we don't do it today.
Are people already
displaying ire?
Yeah, boo, L,
dislike, KBL, unsubbing, product, fuck barstool, boo, right, fuck Yeah, boo, L, dislike, KBL, unsubbing,
product, fuck Barstool, boo,
Riley, fuck Riley, boo, L, L,
Then we should just not do it. These are all
Riley-centric. This is hilarious. I fucking hate
Riley. Boycott the app. I said I'll get wet.
Why don't we just do the
wet wheel and one person has to get
soaking wet right now?
As opposed to like one. We'll do it like we did
in LA.
Well,
one,
only one person does.
Yes. An eliminator,
we'll do a reverse wet.
I think that's way more fair and funny,
because once one person does it,
the novelty wore off,
and who cares if five people do it straight?
All right,
so we'll do a reverse wet.
Odds are,
it's not going to be me.
It's what you always think.
That just put some bad energy into the universe,
you saying that right there.
Yeah, but you doing that has turned the tide.
Karma looks upon me with fear.
I'm going to go get wet.
Okay.
Fine by me.
Wait a minute.
No, let's do the...
Put up a straw pole.
The wheel's way more fun.
What are they saying?
Okay.
Like a more civilized collection of people.
If the chat can count to 13 without anything interrupted, we'll do a classic wet wheel.
I think Brandon...
Where are you boys headed?
I guess they just want to get wet.
What is going on?
What are they doing?
What is going on?
I think all three of them are going to...
Well, we have to then.
Why did Brandon jump at that?
I think he's stinky.
I think he pooped his pants.
Something is up.
I think he's pooped.
He put the sign up.
He's chomping at the bit.
What?
They're not getting wet.
Something else is going on in there.
He's only ever cared about himself.
When those three get together, it's always something crazy.
Looks like Owen's getting wet.
These guys are actually...
Classic bait and switch.
You just went in there
pretending like you were going to do it and then just left?
Oh shit, Brandon's looking for you?
Let's just, okay, if those
if there are two people that...
If Brandon's dead set on getting wet...
What is Brandon doing?
I don't know why he wants to get wet.
We have to do a wheel. We have to do a reverse wheel.
So we'll do an eliminator. One person gets wet.
I'm going to go get him.
Why is he so dead set on getting wet? We have to do a wheel. We have to do a reverse wheel. So we'll do an eliminator. One person gets wet. I'm going to go get him. That's what we're doing.
All right, well, you got to get him quick. Why is he so dead set on getting wet?
Nick's fast.
Low key.
Yeah, I hate that I could give him that.
Oh, they're already wet.
Why?
You think you're faster?
Nick is athletic for what he is.
You think you're faster?
Yes, I am faster for what he is. He's athletic for what he is. You think you're faster? Yes, I am faster for what he is.
He's athletic for what he is.
Yeah, for what being a human being.
He's athletic for what he comes across as.
Do you agree?
Yeah.
I'm just, like, confused, I guess, at what just happened there.
It wanted to get wet so bad.
So bad. I was pretty excited
Well, we'll see I think it's gonna be Rudy. Oh
boy
If it's me I'm drowning myself in the bathroom
Yes, you have to pull me out of a puddle
You boys in I'm having a good so I think you are You guys are going to have to pull me out of a puddle. But we need Booth. We said out loud I don't want to get wet.
You boys in?
I'm having a good hair day.
So I think one person, because not everyone's here,
I think if one person gets wet today and then Friday,
which is a draft day already, we agree to do a full wet experience.
Could roll it over.
I think that makes sense.
No, no, no.
Let's, the wheel, we're never going to hear the end of this.
Right.
Let's do how we did in L.A. One person's getting wet today. Yeah, that's what we're never going to hear the end of this. Right. Let's do how we did in LA.
One person's getting wet.
Yeah, that's what we're doing.
One person.
Everybody in this fucking room on the wheel.
And Grandin.
Yep, Grandin.
A lot of screen time today.
There's never been a girl on the wheel.
That is true.
For a good reason.
Can we put one sliver on it where Riley goes back into the meeting with a super soaker?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
That would rule.
Just go only for their laptops.
Their dry is a bone.
Yeah.
Look at that.
I feel safe.
That's a ton of names on there.
Bro, you're scared.
Brother heard.
I'm fine with this.
Petrified.
It sucks to be wet.
I could take a pill and never be wet again.
I'd do it
Everybody get wet
Is it really that bad
It's not
It's not bad in the moment
It's bad after
Let's go feed a bunch of pussies
And let's just get wet
Okay
Alright
We'll see one person does
Why do you
Why do you want to get wet
I know
It's like
You should
Don't talk about being a pussy
This is the gimmick that we do
You can't even withhold
From Chick-fil-A
For 20 minutes
Let's do it
Hold on
Hold on
Jesus Christ Nick's gone soft Please Always been Withhold from Chick-fil-A for 20 minutes. Let's do it. Hold on, hold on.
Jesus Christ.
Nick's gone soft?
Please.
Always been.
What do you mean gone?
Who's Nick Wolak and why is he just spamming Hope It's Sass?
Asshole.
You know exactly who Nick Wolak is. Let's do it.
Wait a minute.
It's Frank.
Frank is Nick Wolak.
DJ, can you put up a straw poll?
We're catering too much to the listeners. Call the poll. Let's Frank. DJ, can you put up a straw poll? We're catering too much
to this.
Let's not cater to that.
Every poll that you do is going to be heavily in favor of everybody getting wet.
So just do it how you all want to do it.
If we do any poll, it's all
going to make us...
They want us to suffer.
Someone said do it for Ukraine.
What'd they say? Do it for Ukraine?
Tell me why that's wrong. What'd they say do it for Ukraine tell me why that's wrong what'd he say
what'd he say
I'll leave it up to you guys
I'm a guest
who's this guy
why's he talking to Dukes
let's have him do it
yeah
PLL guy
Paul Rabel
Paul Rabel
hold on
where's Paul Rabel going to Ericael. Hold on. Where's Paul Rabel?
Going to Erica's office.
Erica left.
I'm calling Big Cat.
What the fuck is he doing in there?
Hey, man.
Still on the Yak.
Live recording.
Chat is about to stage a coup.
Why are they upset? Why don't we just do it on friday because we've been preaching that the wheel is just so what we're thinking is a reverse
wet wheel where only one of us has to get wet to appease okay i like that and they gotta get
something wet i think big hat should be on the wheel he's not here zoom in no no no because
that would make six out of the seven participating.
We'd have to do a traditional wet wheel.
Tell the chat to go fuck itself.
Yeah, we've been.
We did say that.
But they know they have all the power.
You guys are such losers.
Shut up.
Never talk about it.
Oh, no.
Somebody paid $10 just for me.
$10?
Okay.
No, put a script.
You need to do it in one review.
You just got to get sopping wet.
Sopping.
Yeah, okay.
That'll appease, I think.
Okay, and then we'll do it again on Friday.
We'll do a real one on Friday.
Yeah, okay.
Okay, bye.
Bye.
This is my purgatory.
Fuck.
All right.
I wasn't supposed to be here today.
Neither was I, apparently.
Yeah, I guess so.
All right.
I guess we'll do a reverse wet.
Spin.
So this is an eliminator wheel.
You want your name.
You want your name.
Okay.
Let me get that music.
I'm feeling dread.
So, Chad, calm down.
Full wheel Friday.
Full wheel Friday. And actually calm down. Full wheel Friday. Full wheel Friday.
And actually calm down.
Full wheel Friday.
Draft Friday.
Big day.
Pull the chat back up.
KB, pick a name at random.
Fight them.
Can't even see it.
Houston Grisberg or Greenberg.
Nick Wolak.
Haley Hartman.
Fight her.
What the fuck?
Girls are paying to keep you dry.
That's bad.
That's the biggest slap in the face I could ever see.
Yeah, let's keep him dry.
She wants all the credit.
$20?
Let's see how much it's going.
Where does this money go?
The void.
The company.
Really?
Okay, yeah, that's good then.
She's going to Erica's office.
We made $30.
Don't know thumbs down.
Don't alienate yourself.
All right, let's just do the reverse wheel.
That's what we're going to do.
Let's do it.
Do the wheel.
Thicken around.
$2.
You don't fuck around with $2?
Don't worry about the chat.
Worry about us.
We're already putting like...
I got to know who this guy is.
I'm going to get some Benzos and brothers on Friday.
Yeah.
We will be soaking wet now for it too.
Let's just spin the wheel.
I want to know who this guy is.
He looks cool. He does look so cool.
He reminds me of my
penalty turn fifth grade.
He's important too.
We should know who that is.
I think he's got some fame to him.
Come in.
Come in.
He's so jolly.
I know, I like him.
He's a nice guy.
I like him already.
What's up, man?
Just a few seconds of your time.
Dude's sitting in chairs here.
What's going on?
Let's go.
Fuck yeah.
You like the cut of your jib.
Say that again.
Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike.
Who are you?
I'm Jason.
Oh, fuck yeah.
We knew you were a star.
We knew you were a star from the second you walked by.
The glow.
It's the best day of my life.
What's going on, man?
Well, I'm out here promoting the Lakers show, Winning Time.
Okay.
I play the logo.
Wait, is this your guest?
They threatened me.
We like to cut off his jib.
Yeah, you should.
It's Jason Clarke, man.
He's an acclaimed Australian actor.
I knew it.
I knew it.
I knew it.
I knew it was something like that.
What have I walked into here?
We're doing the wet wheel.
Doing the wet wheel.
I love how casual.
I'm going to dunk you in water.
You should get out of here.
I love how casual the math here is.
Wet wheel.
Yeah, all of our names are on a wheel.
The last name up there has to go get wet.
Two options.
I'll get a shower over there.
No.
You can stay and risk getting wet, or you can leave and you'll be dry for the rest of your day.
I'm going to head back to Los Angeles, dude.
That's wool, too.
Is that wool?
Shit.
That's cashmere.
That's cashmere?
Yeah.
Isn't that a type of wool?
What's a goat?
It's a goat.
Is it?
My father was a sheep shearer.
Very particularly different.
Your friend's a sheep shearer?
My father was a sheep shearer.
My father was a sheep shearer?
Yeah, my father was a sheep shearer, yeah.
I know my wool.
That's awesome.
Are you a Western boy or East Coast? L.A. now. I used my wool. That's awesome. Yeah. Western boy or east coast?
LA now.
I used to live in New York.
Australia.
Yeah, Australian though originally, yeah.
Which part?
From originally up at Queensland and now northern New South Wales.
Nice.
Up on the coast there.
Where are you originally from?
Winton.
Winton.
Go and Google that, man.
Middle of nowhere.
Yeah.
Literally the middle of nowhere.
Eight hours west of Townsville.
Pull up Winton?
Out of Townsville?
I've got to get going.
Listen, love to talk to the wet wheel.
Good luck, fellas.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
Sorry, Ken Jack.
We just knew that guy was...
That guy is everything I want to be in life.
His dad was a sheep shearer.
I know.
You would be jealous of him.
Is cashmere a type of wool?
Such a question.
I had no idea.
I was just pretending.
That guy gave me confidence.
So you know why he was here?
He's playing Jerry West
in the new HBO show.
Oh, I saw the still of that.
He looked great.
That's it.
That's Jerry West.
The literal NBA logo.
The logo.
Oh, that's why he said that.
Zeke from the Lakers.
Oh, he's the Lakers logo,
he said?
He's the logo.
I was like,
what are you talking about? The literal NBA logo. Playing Jerry West. He's from Lakers. Oh, he's the Lakers logo, he said? He's the logo. I was like, what are you talking about?
The literal NBA logo.
Playing Jerry West.
He's from West Virginia.
He is from West Virginia, that's true.
And he talked about West Virginia in our interview.
Did he go there?
Also, did you see the fake Tourette's girls from West Virginia?
He's from Ranson, yeah.
Ask him about the waltzing Matilda Center.
Cheers, lads.
Nailed it.
That was like every accent. Look at your dudes hanging out.
Look at your wet wheel.
All right. All right, all right.. Look with your wet wheel. All right.
All right, all right.
Good luck with the wet wheel.
All right.
Let's didgeridoo it.
Ah, damn.
Had to get to work going back to Los Angeles.
Yeah.
That's not even close to Australian.
What was that?
I don't even know what the fuck I'm saying.
That was like Irish.
That's the guy saying, where were you?
Australian's the easiest one to go.
I let him have my seat.
I went and took a piss
Something's amiss with you today Brandon
Wait a minute why do you have one leg up
Are you biking?
Are you riding a bike?
Brandon's doing Uber Eats
What's up my side?
Alright fuck
Alright spin it
Wet wheel
God damn.
Let's fucking go.
No.
Oh, come on.
I told you karma was going to get your ass.
Classic underdog.
Cutie.
Wheels just. Wheels just. It was just
Wheel was just
Wheel was just
It knew if I stood up for it
It would take care of me
Let's go
Let's go.
Tuesday.
Yes. Yes.
We're still six names.
We're still 6-9. We're still fine.
Oh, no.
Wow.
Dry Booth.
Uh-huh.
Not TJ.
Where he belongs.
Dry.
Oh, Kyle.
Dry Booth.
Wow.
Praying for my boys.
Flip out.
I'm going to flip out.
It's going to look bad.
There you go, Kyle. Thank God, dude.
I was going to have a fit.
Wow, first time on the act.
No, it's not.
First wet wheel at least.
Best of seven?
Oh, yeah.
Best of seven.
Stand up.
Three.
You want seven.
Five.
Just do one.
One.
Let's do one.
One time?
Sure.
That's a risky move.
You want one?
Yeah, just do one.
Sure, I'll do one.
Yeah, just do one.
All right, wait.
If you say your name, you win.
Then the other guy gets wet, right? Yeah. If it lands on your name, you get wet? No. your name, you win. And the other guy gets wet, right?
Yeah.
If it lands on your name, you get wet?
No.
If it lands on your name, the other guy gets wet.
That's what he just said.
All right.
Let's do it.
Rock Riley.
Oh, he didn't wish it back.
Riley, what?
Look, I also didn't apologize when you smashed the mic in my face.
I did apologize.
I think I did at least.
That was an accident. I'm sorry. All right, Riley, I want to see you wet. And I know you do, too. So let in my face. I did apologize. I think I did at least. That was an accident.
I'm sorry.
All right, Riley, I want to see you wet.
I know you do too, so let's get this.
I honestly do.
Riley.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, and the baby boy.
The baby boy!
The baby boy!
You'll get soaking wet!
Alright, boys.
Trooper.
Oh, this is awesome.
Man, the wheel kind of has like a consciousness.
Uh-huh.
That's crazy.
Sentient.
Yeah.
They never stop like that.
I thought I was... Oh, it never has that.
That must be a new update.
Woo!
Let's go, Riley.
What a fucking trooper, man. Alright, TJ. Oh, you That must be a new update. Let's go, Riley. What a fucking trooper, man.
All right, TJ.
Oh, you want to end it?
Yeah.
That's the yak.
Wait.
We got to have him walk out.
Yeah, I want people to see how wet he gets.
Wait, wait.
We should all leave the room?
No, wait.
He should have to go retrieve his flower soaking wet.
Yes, he should.
That's a lot.
Yeah.
But I do want to leave the room and act like the yak is over.
Yeah.
And have. No, no, no. Yeah, he should just have to go get a flower. But I do want to leave the room and act like the yak is over. Yeah. And, ah.
No, no, no.
Yeah, he should just have to go get a flower.
I see that coming.
I think he should just have to retreat.
Upstairs flower?
From the girl upstairs.
Oh, my goodness.
That would be unreal.
Oh, he's already back?
Oh, he's damp.
Wait.
Oh, wow.
Well, he didn't get soaked.
He doesn't know.
That's fine.
And he's wet.
He's wet enough.
He's wet enough.
It's actually perfect.
It's perfect wet. Okay. All right. Good wet. Good wet. Spin, spin. No, that's fine. He's wet. He's wet enough. It's actually perfect. It's perfect wet.
Okay.
All right.
Good wet.
Good wet.
Spin, spin.
No, that's wet.
Oh, yeah, you're wet.
That's certainly wet.
Now we need one more thing from you.
We need you to go.
Push your hair back forwards.
Okay, yeah, that's good.
Yeah, that's good.
We need you to go get your flower back from that girl upstairs soaking wet.
Wait a minute.
We need to call in.
This motherfucker. He's the most down dude. Wait a minute. We need to call in. This motherfucker.
He's the most down dude.
He is a down ass dude.
He is.
Uh-huh.
Same link, TJ?
He's like pressing in jackass.
I'm not going to get my new link on him.
Riley, can you send us $100 on Venmo?
I'm disapproving the security artist today.
He's disgusted.
You were tilted, KB. Tilted? Yeah, you're pissed. How disapproving the security guard is today. He's disgusted.
You were tilted, KB.
Tilted?
Yeah, you're pissed.
That's what it means.
Oh, is that cool slang?
Yeah, it's super cool slang.
You should use that.
I'm going to use that.
Tilted.
No, you're wet enough, man.
No, it's subtle enough.
It's subtle enough. I think maybe go re-wet your hair. No, I think that's. It's subtle enough.
I think maybe go re-wet your hair.
No, I think that's a perfect level of wetness.
I might just do it.
I mean, I'm already wet.
Yeah, do it.
This dude, do not give a fuck.
Oh my God.
Riley, man.
All right.
I'm so glad.
Wait in TJ. I'm so glad I landed on you Riley
Look at the TJ heads lurking around out there too
I'll go re-wet myself
The Riley heads
You're good
I almost didn't pick Riley
I was going to try to get Paul Rabel
He would have never gotten wet
I'm so glad I landed on Riley
I'm sure she's not in the meeting anymore.
No, he's got to go.
I bet they are.
Oh, this is really mean.
He's very about it.
And he's wet.
It's mean to her, though.
Coming back up here wet.
Hey, I forgot I need that back.
Yeah, we didn't tell him what his excuse was.
Yeah, that flower was a rental.
That flower was a rental.
Oh, is the meeting over?
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
He's got to find her.
He's got to find her.
Yeah, where is she?
She's sad in the end.
Where is she?
Where is she?
Hey.
Excuse me.
Can I have a flower bag? Oh, God. oh what a monster they're ripping him apart he's a killer oh my god there's no emotion
hey i'm gonna need that back he tapped her on the shoulder, though. She saw him.
Oh, my goodness.
Look how he holds it.
It does look like a video game.
He quipped it.
Pull out your inventory and grab your flower.
Oh, my goodness.
There he is, the king.
He got to lift the shower on.
Oh, he lifted the shower on.
He's going to jump back in there
I hope somebody's shitting
Or somebody's just in their shower
He did leave it on
That's tough to like forget
Nah I did it
It's tough to forget
Alright
Shout out to Riley
Yeah shout out to Riley
Follow him on everything
Follow Riley Collins
I don't even know
Very funny on TikTok
He's the man
Riley what are your handles?
Riley what's your TikTok?
My Twitter is RileyCollins
Underscore underscore
That's tricky
Yeah
Yeah I know
What about TikTok?
I think you were banned
RileyCollins2 on TikTok
Two
The number two or spelled out?
Number two
Killed it
That was amazing
Yeah thank you
That's the Yak, boys.
Great job.
You can keep it.
Okay, thank you. It's the act It's the act
It's the act
It's the act