The Yak - The Wheel Decides Who Will Be Barstool's New CEO | The Yak 1-16-24
Episode Date: January 16, 2024#TGAforCEOYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Boys, and I say boys.
Liberally?
We don't have a woman CEO anymore.
We can say whatever the fuck we want.
Boys will be boys. I'm going to scratch my fucking balls in the office yeah um yeah hell yeah fuck yes oh finally also stephanie's producing today hey
stephanie oh hey what the fuck oh i gotta unscratch my balls uh yeah big news erica is uh stepping down as ceo did she
fire herself okay she fired herself caught her off guard too yeah there's been uh she released
a video we have big company meeting at two o'clock where i think uh it's going to be some type of
competition to use new new CEO. Yeah.
So everyone get prepared for that.
That would be awesome if we did Squid Games for the new CEO.
Yeah, I'd want it.
Is that a position that needs to be filled?
No, it won't be filled. I'm pretty sure Dave will talk about it later,
but I'm pretty sure Dave will be doing the majority of it
with also salespeople and people on the second floor.
Cool.
Yes.
I do like the idea of leaving it open and convincing all of us
that if we work hard enough, we could get the job.
And light a fire under some ashes.
Yeah.
It's very funny, and I appreciate this.
There's people who think way too highly of my
intellect because i've had some tweets being like you should be the next ceo i went i was in a
meeting when we started sell blue coffee that erica was running and she said um she was talking
about the pnl and i had to raise my hand i was like what do those letters mean? I know, but like. We know P is penis.
Yeah.
I am as illiterate as it comes to business.
Is it L is labia and nuts?
Penis, nuts, labia.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Why did you say so?
It's actually penis, nuts in labia.
In labia.
You put your penis nuts in there.
That's a sign of a successful business.
Penis nuts are just nuts, but we're just describing.
Penis nuts.
These are my penis nuts.
Penis nuts. Yeah. They're not the, you know. it's not like a cashew yeah or almond nuts the penis that actually makes a lot of sense yeah why don't we qualify the nuts yeah because it is confusing
there's multiple different types of there's sports nuts there's coconuts and there's penis nuts there's nuts yeah people
are nuts people are nuts not at doesn't get uh yeah i got hit in my penis billy thing yeah
oh my penis nuts and like oh yeah you have like a uh some almonds in your pocket you get hit in
your pocket you're like i got hit in my nuts nuts yeah that hurt so you're considering ceo
you got that from that all right yeah yeah um yeah no i i uh i'm as illiterate as it comes
do we have a coup business a coo we do have a coup who is it that's a really good, as future CEO, I should find that out. Yeah, you should.
Yeah, who's our COO?
No, I don't think we have a coup.
We have a CFO.
Oh, we do.
Who's that?
Yeah.
On the top of my.
That's financial.
Yeah, that's financial.
We have a CFO.
I met him or maybe multiple hims.
They were perfect.
They had glasses on. They had spreadsheets out. Yeah, cool. They were perfect. They had glasses on.
They had spreadsheets out.
Yeah.
Cool.
It was perfect.
Spreadsheets out.
Yeah, no, they were holding spreadsheets.
Spreadsheets, yeah.
And I was like, oh, okay.
Numbers, guys.
That's a CFO, yeah.
But yeah, Erica, incredible run.
I truly like, not to be sentimental, but like she changed my life.
Yeah.
Mine too.
Mine too.
Yeah, took the company from...
She's been very good to us.
We were nothing.
Well, we were something, but we were not run well into $500 million and then back to $1.
She did it all.
Actually, she kind of left on a valuation, went back to $1.
Yeah, I was going to say, that's...
She kind of tanked the company.
Yeah, she did.
It's not a great legacy.
Actually, yeah, that should be the lead in her obituary.
Yeah, that's hard to do.
Erica Nardini, who somehow took a $500 million company to $1.
The rise and fall of Erica Nardini, yeah.
Well, in fairness, she took it to $500 million.
That's true.
She took it back to $1.
Erica Nardini, part of the greatest pump and dump scheme of all time.
Yeah. Did she start at $1? She she started i think we were 20 to 15 million when shernan bought us okay really yeah what year was that 2015
fall of 2015 interesting fall of 2015 what was going on
george carrieta just thrown a no hitter
Derrick Henry was running the Heisman
On a recent pod
When it came
Talking to like who could be
Is there anyone that is lying in wait
She did mention someone that works here
Who?
Mr. Paul Kazinski
Kaz does
I feel like Kaz has the skills to do it for sure.
Penis.
It's got to be someone who understands Barstool.
Like, Erica was great at her job because she understood what we are,
and then she tried to help what we made be bigger and make more money,
not trying to meddle with what we're doing.
She never meddled.
Never has meddled.
Yeah, but i'm
gonna miss her so she was she definitely changed my life for the positive incredible run insane
like when you look back at it eight years eight years 16 yeah eight years fuck wow we i think we
hired her like springish of 16 she was in hq2 yeah wow yeah yeah so insane run so congrats erica she's
gonna be really good at whatever she does next and we're gonna find out should we spin the big
wheel to see who's ceo yeah yeah let's do that why don't we just do it just so that like this
meeting at two o'clock the yak we have an official champion yeah we have we got a back there's gonna
be some people who are not prepared for this meeting.
We will come prepared with a name.
Are there co-CEOs?
I think if you have two, you don't have one.
Shit.
Yeah.
Like a quarterback.
Yeah, like a quarterback.
All right.
Yeah, let's just get one.
I just love spinning this big ass wheel.
Let's see if Stephanie can find it.
Let's see if she can do it.
Uh-oh.
Is there a bucket of wheels back there?
There's nothing worse than a woman behind the wheel.
Camera won't be cut to me anymore today.
Kind of a tough test ten minutes in.
Yeah.
Stephanie, go find that thing.
Stephanie, right click.
Yeah, Kyle, why don't you go help?
I want Kyle to produce one day.
It would be the worst ever.
We should all, yeah, do a swap.
A producer day just to realize how tough it is.
So, Stephanie.
I guess the show's kind of stopped.
Let's cut the camera to her.
Let's watch her panic.
Oh, yeah, let's watch her panic.
Well, no, she'd have to hit the button.
Oh, she wouldn't do that.
Watch herself panic.
She doesn't know how to do it.
But she's looking for the wheel.
Yeah.
Damn.
She was feeling a little cocky after a good Mostly Sports.
Yeah, she did great on Mostly Sports.
And I said, this is a different beast.
It sure is.
Say something, Stephanie.
Come on.
Are you still alive?
Are you flatlined back there?
Oh, she's locked in.
It's a whole folder that we have to look through.
Stephanie, it's very easy.
Just make a wheel with the name of every company employee.
Goddamn.
Control right click and then the search bar.
Have you checked the forums?
Also in the email from Erica,
we're discussing Che's playoff bracket pool thing.
What? It said that in the email.
Oh, I think that was a joke. Okay, thank God.
The website had
too many pop-ups. I just chose not to do it.
You picked the worst website in the world.
The worst website of all time. It's a bad website. I many pop-ups. I just chose not to do it. You picked the worst website in the world. The worst website of all time.
In the world.
It's a bad website.
I'm aware of that.
Have you suspended anyone yet?
Was that you?
I called you.
You called me?
Or I texted you?
No, I don't know.
What's happening?
Did you suspend somebody?
Yes.
I was looking at the leaderboard. That was you. Somebody disappeared from the leaderboard. That was you. I asked you if that was you, and you suspend somebody? Yes. I was looking at the leaderboard.
That was you.
Somebody disappeared from the leaderboard.
That was you.
I asked you if that was you, and you said it wasn't.
Kyle, you paid $100 to enter.
No, he didn't.
He didn't pay.
It was this.
Yeah, it was well-deserved.
Colton Battery.
Colton Battery was top three last night.
We're doing a pool in the office that's everyone is $100 a person.
You pick every game in the playoffs against the spread,
and you have to put your confidence.
So one through 13.
So the most points win.
So if you want to obviously save your 13.
Kyle signed up as a fake name Colton Battery and was third after this weekend.
What was your email address?
150 people.
My email was mine, so I had to cover the bases.
I asked if that was your email address? Like 150 people. My email was mine, so I had to cover the bases and do a KB name. I asked if that was your email.
So he's confronted you and you just denied it?
I wanted Colton Battery to be at the top, which I almost achieved,
and everyone would be like, who the fuck is Colton Battery?
We were in group chats.
It was like, who's Colton Battery?
And somebody was like, oh, that's Danny Jackal's cameraman.
Your username was Doriselboy6.
You were crushing it, dude.
You were third.
No, I needed the Eagles, though.
I would have been in first.
Damn.
These socks, man.
Yeah, I wasn't planning on paying you, so it's fine.
Okay, fair.
Let Colton Battery just...
I want to hire Colton Battery.
Yeah.
He's a sharp mind.
I had to send out what the prize amount would be,
so I wanted to make sure everyone that had paid was in.
I emailed that alias several days ago.
I hadn't heard back, so it was time.
Do I have a mathematical chance to win still?
No.
Okay.
Why?
I'm not paying.
Because –
Sorry.
Yeah, that's really fucked up.
Because there's like the – Oh, Colton Battery used all his high confidence
Picks yeah I didn't know that
I misunderstood the rules
So I used all the high ones
But if you're in first couldn't everybody below you just get everything wrong
From here and you would win
It would be pretty hard
I had 13 on the eagle
There's like 150 people so the odds of
That are low.
Technically, you're correct.
Technically, he's not.
With 150 people, someone's going to go like 11 for 13 or 12 for 13.
A couple people.
I think one person went 6-0 yesterday.
Or two people.
Do you remember?
You filled out this whole thing about Colton Battery on his profile.
A little bit.
What's his motto?
Motto is let's go.
Favorite team?
I don't think I did that.
TBD?
Yeah.
How old is he?
13.
Age limit.
And then your email is your email.
Yeah.
Another Gmail though, so it's KB.
And then your website.
Minecraft.net. How would anybody believe that a 13 year old was
his confidence is let his motto is let's go i run a tight ship every time somebody says let's go now
and be like oh you know yeah that's cold that's my that's my motto you owe 10 cents to Colton Battery. What is the Duracell motto?
Slogan?
Duracell?
Do they have one?
Yeah.
They've got a...
Oh, there's the Energizer.
The battery you can...
Slogans stop being a thing.
Yeah, why did slogans stop being a thing?
Yeah, slogans are out a little bit.
What's the biggest slogan right now?
Do it.
Just do it.
Just do it.
When you're here, you're family.
Yeah.
They don't even do it.
No, no.
There's no voice saying slogans. I'm loving it. McDonald's? Yeah. I don't even do it. No, no. There's no voice saying slogan.
I'm loving it.
McDonald's?
Yeah.
Oh, Burger King.
What's Burger King?
The whole jingle.
McDonald's doesn't do I'm loving it.
They just do the ba-da-da-da-da.
Yeah.
You say I'm loving it.
I'm loving it.
It's a lie.
They put it in your head.
Wow.
They put it in your head for you.
Smart.
The yak needs a slogan.
Let's just use the Colton battery quote yeah let's go
let's go and then hyphen colton battery yeah as colton battery famously said let's go
oh that's such a 13 year old's motto oh 100 no apostrophe I love this
I'm not on there
So we're gonna
I'm not on there
It's elimination
Oh
Oh
It was old America
That kinda works
He's been fired on this wheel before
Yeah I think so.
All right, Tech Guy Andrew's new CEO.
Yeah, he will be the name we bring to the meeting.
Yeah.
Tech Guy Andrew.
The wheel is kind of invaluable.
All right, I'll call Tech Guy Andrew right now.
Yeah, we got to brief him.
All right, let him know.
I think he'll do good.
He's a solid guy.
Yeah, the tech is always awesome.
Yeah, that's true.
When he's in charge, yes.
Or anybody.
Let's spin the wheel.
Two people, they have to do a selfie battle on Twitter.
Okay.
I like that.
Whoever gets more wins money.
Something like that.
Selfie battle.
Yeah, and you have to vote.
TGA.
First ring. Yo, what's up to vote. TGA. First ring.
Yo, what's up?
Hey, we're on the act right now.
So this meeting, this big barstool meeting at 2 o'clock, company-wide meeting.
Yeah.
We figured everyone's probably going to come with a name that they think should be the next CEO.
So the act is going to throw your name out there.
We're standing behind you oh fuck yeah
okay nice are you yeah you're you're good for the job oh yeah yeah absolutely okay let's go
let's go yeah okay all right okay all right well we'll see how the meeting goes
as long as pete stays and i can be his boss no No, no, no, no, no, no. He wants to be his boss, though.
He wants to be his boss.
He wants to tell him what to do.
What if you had to fire Pete, first order of business?
No problem.
All right, nice.
All right.
Okay, thank you, TGA.
Pete's penis nuts don't even work.
No, they don't.
Question.
You can't look up to him.
Yeah.
If you made one of Pete's guys CEO, would Pete view that as him kind of being?
He's next. He's a heartbeat away from power not
even that he thinks he's probably still over tech guy he's a puppet man above the ceo he's like this
he pete would be the cia the new ceo would be every third world country in like south america
and asia yep yep he'd be the legend wexner what What? Is that the Epstein guy?
You got a hospital named after him.
Everything.
Get that off.
The entire city is named after Les Wexner.
Was he Abercrombie & Fitch?
No.
Limited brand.
Yeah, like Victoria's Secret.
Hey, did you ever see Johnny Hamchek?
No.
You lived in Columbus?
I guess it probably was too early.
Who's Johnny Hamchek?
You don't know Johnny Hamchek?
He knows Balboni?
No. You don't know Balboni? I don't think was too early. Who's Johnny Hamchick? You don't know Johnny Hamchick? He knows Balboni? No.
You don't know Balboni?
I don't think so.
Damn.
He's good.
Johnny Hamchick's the best.
Should we pick two people for the selfie battle?
Yes.
Yeah, and it has to be a hot selfie battle.
And as an audience member, you can only like one of their tweets.
Yeah.
Is this for the Yak or for everyone that works here?
Everyone that works here.
Yeah.
Other one.
I was trying so hard.
I don't know if you guys saw.
Will Compton had a video, and then Nadeau came over the top with a video addressing Will Compton's video.
I was pushing Will.
I was like, see how many video back and forth you guys have.
It would be endless.
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's just quote tweeting. I'm happy for Nadeau. He reignited with an old flame. He settled have. It would be endless. Yeah. I don't know. It's just quote tweeting and addressing.
I'm happy for Nadeau.
He reignited with an old flame.
He settled down.
Now he's off the market.
What?
Nadeau.
He announced it, that he's off the market now.
He's wiped up?
Reignition.
He's an old flame.
He said, fellas, relax.
Yeah, we can all feel safe now.
Yeah.
He's not in the bitch-stealing business anymore.
What?
Yeah.
He said he's a her for a while,
and he's very happy about it,
but he almost instantly folded with a temptation.
Oh, with a chick?
Wait, really?
Like a chick just said, you know, expressed...
Said his name?
Something, and he was like,
I'll fuck you.
Instant temptation in response to the tweet that he's wifed up.
That's so funny.
What are we waiting for?
Oh, we're going to spin.
Yep.
Oh. Yes, Joey. Oh.
Oh, perfect.
Yeah.
All right.
Perfect.
It's going to be a tough matchup.
Yeah, it's a tough matchup.
Two or four?
Let's do a four-person, a four-way selfie battle.
There's a lot of laid-off people on this wheel.
Yeah.
They can participate.
All right.
Yeah.
They're going to get their job back.
You win.
You get hired back.
The hotter the selfie, the better. They can participate. All right. Yeah. And their job back. You win. You get hired back.
The hotter the selfie, the better.
That's a fun wheel, man.
Oh, God damn it.
Oh, Big T would have been great.
Clem.
Clem.
Oh, man.
I love this.
And should we have them all send them into the yak so we just tweet them out in a thread
yeah
four way selfie battle
alright so I gotta text Clement
no makeup or all makeup
whatever you feel is your hottest pick
I don't know if I have Joey's number
I can text them all in a group once we have the four
oh we're doing four
are we doing two or four
we're off to. Are we doing two or four? Let's do four.
We're off to a good start.
I agree.
Why do you have X2, Mark Titus?
Oh, I am on the wheel?
It says Mark Titus times two.
Oh, nice.
Damn.
So you were super wrong.
Yeah.
Double wrong.
John Rich.
Okay, John Rich will get in on this.
Hopefully it's not that haunting, ghastly photo of him.
That might get zero likes.
He hasn't cut off his fucking head yet, has he?
No.
No?
What a bitch.
Not one time.
Not a single time.
Not once.
Not one single time has he cut off his head.
Uh-oh.
Che, yeah.
Che, text her.
Hey, I need your hottest pic. I don't, but I'll ask.
Che, you have to ask.
Explain the rules.
It's a hot selfie competition.
Can you send me your number?
I'm just going to group text the four.
I'll get her number.
Yeah.
Okay, yeah, do it.
So what are you going to ask?
You're just going to ask for the four hottest selfies you can do?
They have to be current selfies.
Wait, are you saying each person's giving four selfies
or each person's sending them one selfie?
But it has to be current. Yes, and then we tweet
out. We should make them take it today.
Yeah, that would be the word
current. Okay.
I think
by the end of the month is fine.
I think EOM.
See? I'm going to see. I'm ready for
EOM. Is she traveling right now?
I don't think that's the point.
We're here.
She's going to be like this creep.
I want Zach Ryan to fight Stephen Che.
Yeah.
He's an Eagles fan, right?
Yeah.
Sucks for him.
Fuck you.
Yeah, I'll produce this shortly.
Can we think of any other reasons to spin the big wheel?
I love it.
It's so great.
We need just like a Chicago wheel.
Just like the people that are in his office regularly.
I think that would just be our Yahoo.
Yeah, pretty much, yeah.
Nice shoes, Titus.
Yeah, they do look great on camera.
I was noticing that.
Look at that.
Wow.
Fucking classy.
What shine. I don't know. I was noticing that. Look at that. Wow. Fucking classy. What shine.
I don't know why I wore these today.
Stephanie, I sent you two videos of Johnny Hamshack because Titus doesn't know who he is.
You should watch them all, though.
He's so great.
He's a legend.
And he lives in Columbus.
Wait, who is he?
He's a guy who makes videos online, and he goes up to people and has just the most awkward interactions possible.
And he's so good at it.
He's so smooth at it.
You'll see.
Yeah, that's my type of thing.
You'd love it.
Yeah, you'd love it.
Johnny Hamchak, legend.
Yeah, I don't know this dude.
He just confuses people.
He's a big dog guy.
Yeah. Big dog guy. Wait, so I't know this dude. He just confuses people. He's a big dog guy. Yeah.
Big dog guy.
Wait, so I'm on his Instagram.
None of the people I'm seeing on his Instagram are him.
No.
Correct.
He's putting the camera on others.
I think he goes around with a backpack, and the camera is strapped, so it looks like he's
not filming something.
Oh, yeah.
And he just gets in conversations.
Yeah, Stephanie, if you have those two i sent you
he's a guy like you can look at his instagram profile and it's almost like watching a movie
you can just keep scrolling correct you're like 30 minutes in you're like oh that was
the most entertaining thing i've done all day yeah here we go oh no we did we had two huskies
yeah but they were just i think they were kind of...
Back then, we kind of knew.
My dad was intrigued by their blue eyes.
Well, these dogs don't have blue eyes.
Their eyes are, like, black.
Wait, start it again.
Start it again.
He always says it's a coconut corn husk.
It's a coconut corn husk.
Oh, I think I've seen this guy.
He's great.
What kind of dog is that?
A Australian Shepherd. Oh, my gosh. Do you have a doggy? Yeah, I have I've seen this guy. He's great. What kind of dog is that? A Australian Shepherd.
Oh, my gosh.
Do you have a doggy?
Yeah, I have one too.
What's that?
I have a coconut corn husky.
Never heard of that.
You're shitting me.
We grew up with huskies.
We had two huskies.
I think they were kind of...
Back then, we kind of knew.
My dad was intrigued by their blue eyes, so.
Well, these dogs don't have blue eyes.
Their eyes are like black.
They're battle dogs.
Yeah, we battle them down in Miami, Florida.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
Cool, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That is very interesting.
They're vicious.
Okay.
The black eyes would scare me.
Just like in the movies, you know. Yeah. I can't even scare me. Just like in the movies, you know?
Yeah.
I can't even stand to watch the trailers in the movies today because they're so scary.
They're so scary.
They always have the black eyes in the anime.
This woman's really nice.
Yeah.
Super nice.
I can't deal with it.
I can't either.
What's his name?
This is Riley.
Riley.
Oh, my gosh.
You're so cute.
Well, thank you.
She would like to.
I'm telling you, this day is so beautiful.
I have to get back, but it's like.
Yeah.
This is the kind of day she just wants to sit out there and bask in the sun.
Yeah.
He does that just everywhere.
Do people get pissed at him?
No, not really.
This guy, I sent the other one.
This guy got a little pissed, but he'll like walk in.
The one he does that's so funny is he walks over to construction sites, and he's like,
Hey, I got the six-inch.
Can I share some shade with you?
I'll stay six feet apart if that's okay.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
How's it going?
Far so good.
Do you mind if I get a drink of your Gatorade?
No, I want to drink this myself because I've been riding all the way from the other side.
I don't have COVID, buddy.
He's putting his hand out.
Yeah, I would.
Sir, I just drank all my water back there on mile five.
I'm telling you, man, this is all I got.
What flavor is it anyway? That's blueberry.
That's my favorite.
What about the empty one there? Do you mind if I just get the last drop or anything?
I'm parched.
Oh, man.
I need one more.
But, yeah, he does this everywhere, and he's so good at it.
And he's just like, I don't – I think partially the name Johnny Hamchek
feels like a name that you're like, oh, yeah, I know that guy.
Yeah.
I also think it's mysterious because we don't know what he looks like.
Yeah.
Oh, we don't.
You never see him. It's all POV. And it's always Columbus we don't know what he looks like. Oh, we don't. You never see him.
It's all POV.
And it's always Columbus?
I think he lives in Columbus.
So a lot of it is Columbus.
You think you know who it is?
How do you know that?
How do you personally know that?
I've seen him.
It's on campus and stuff?
Yeah, he'll talk to someone who's an Ohio State Swisher.
It looks like a student.
It's like the dark night of Columbus
Nick should we go try to find him?
Yeah let's go find Johnny Hamchak
We just have to go walk a dog everywhere
You want to go live in Columbus?
Hang out in Columbus
He goes to construction sites a lot
And he says he's got six foot cables
He's like I'm here with the six foot cables
And people are like what?
And he just gets let in to different places We should find him and challenge him to a dog fight be like yeah we're
actually down sorry i'm late
what's up brother how you doing is that the fucking six and a half foot tube that i was
talking about yeah that's it oh he's dude it was your first day, wasn't it?
Yeah.
I remember you.
Huh?
You Johnny?
No.
Oh, shit.
They found him out.
Oh, they know.
Oh, shit.
They got guts.
I didn't know this one.
Oh, shit.
Damn.
So he must be getting famous.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, he'll just walk up and be like, I brought the six foot cables.
People are like, all right, yeah, you can go down to the next spot.
He just talks as he says. There's a few people who do this, and be like, I brought the six-foot cables. People are like, all right, yeah, you can go down to the next spot. He just talks as he said.
There's a few people who do this, and I like them all.
Yeah.
Infra Bren out of Seattle is the best.
Who's that?
He wears the glasses in, like, Walmarts.
Okay.
They're not in it for, like, the, like, publicity.
They're in it for chaos.
They're in it for chaos and for, like, these are the type of guys that, like,
they just want to make themselves laugh, I feel like, more like more than any yeah they get the most satisfaction just doing it i'll tell you
another construction one stephanie that's not i i didn't watch that one i can't believe you got god
that breaks my heart news yeah he says balboni construction everywhere he goes
which is perfect perfect fake name for a construction company. That's super believable.
Yeah. Yeah, you used to work with Balboni.
Johnny Hamcheck as he lives and breathes.
The elephant in the room is we have to talk about Stephen Jay at some point.
Yeah.
I don't want to, but we're going to have to.
Sorry I'm late, brother.
My ride was, my ride I'm late, brother.
My ride was, my ride fucked up again, dude,
but I'm Johnny.
I got those six and a half foot chains for you guys.
You got what?
I got those six and a half foot chains.
I got them in my backpack.
Balboni told me to see you. Jesus.
Yeah, bring them in here, man.
These guys in on it?
No.
Where the fuck is Chuck at? He him in here, man. This guy's in on it? No. Where the fuck is Chuck at?
He's in here.
I've been carrying him around.
It's been a little bit rough lately.
Yo, this guy rocks a do-right.
Yeah, he's just allowed.
He's over there.
Chuck.
He's in deep race on, too.
What the fuck's going on, dude?
Johnny, man.
I got those six and a half foot chains for you guys.
Six and a half foot what?
Six and a half.
You run this shit?
Okay, I got those six and a half foot chains for you guys.
Bob Bunny told me to drop them off.
No idea.
Yeah, here, let me get them out.
What's up, buddy?
All right, we got the crew members out here
repping the Johnny Hamcheck merch.
Oh, wow.
Oh, shit.
He got us sold out.
No.
Oh.
No shit.
Tough numbers.
No.
Yeah, I don't like him doing that.
All right.
It was a good run.
That was a good run.
He's got to make money.
You got to allow him to make a little bit.
Yeah.
No, he's got to make some money.
He's got to make money.
What?
You think a side gig is fine?
Just a little bit. All's got to make money. What, you think like a side gig is fine? Well, just a little bit.
All right.
Keep it going.
Chase the worst.
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
Yeah.
That picture Jeff created.
Of course.
Two full days of gambling stream and everyone lost.
But listen.
And Stephen Chay is right in the middle.
Yeah.
Just living the high life.
But it's a tradeoff for you, right?
Because the opposite was Max winning.
I wanted Max to win because I wanted him to get his hopes back.
You wanted to lose next.
Yes.
I got testy with Chay last night.
What about when Chay loses next?
He's going to be like gravy.
No one thought we'd win a playoff game.
Yeah.
Who's left that has the least amount of fans at work here in the playoffs?
There's no fear.
I'm cheering for that team.
Niners fans.
Ravens fans.
Banks.
I'm cheering for the Niners.
Banks.
Houston, yeah.
We don't have any Texans fans.
Tico Texans.
They'd pop up.
If the Texans won the Super Bowl,
there'd be three people that'd walk through the door.
Yeah.
Do we have any Green Bay?
Hubs.
Liz.
Liz.
Jack McCarthy.
Jack McCarthy.
Oh, yeah.
And then Sam in the tech room.
There's a few.
Gotcha.
It's just. Yeah. and i love max so much he's he's
just so passionate he just screams and he yells and he's just and for what you know for what and
for what he's meltdown last night what's the point of any of this yeah yeah but he's a true philly fan like he was i sent stephanie the clip he was like
he's mad that the that the eagles aren't tackling because he thinks it like shines a bad light on
the city of philadelphia and their masculinity yeah he's right these guys yeah i think he nailed
it yeah right like these guys represent us and they're playing like pussies. And now people are going to think we're pussies.
The only thing Philly has is its hustle.
Right.
And last night it was nowhere.
And all their teams are good.
Yeah.
Good-ish.
They're all good.
I don't know.
Ish.
I think we're about to take a dark turn.
The Phillies were in the—
NLCS.
The Sixers are going to be—
Lose to the Celtics.
Probably, but they're all good. That's like a bad going to be lose to the Celtics. Probably.
They're all good.
That's like a bad place to be though, man.
Look at what it's done to Max.
It's aged him. It's not.
Yeah, but he would have aged anyway. Yeah, poorly.
They want to figure out a way to make that guy.
He is the perfect heir apparent to Frank Fleming. The picture you tweeted
of him in Frank's body.
The funniest picture I've seen Malasek made that
He does not fuck his dog
How did it come up that he fucks his dog?
I said Malasek
You
Like I love my dog
I love Stella but I'm not in love with Stella
I was like Malasek
People are starting to talk that you're in love with your dog
And he was like well
I think PFT said do you do any sexual Activ love with your dog and he was like well i think pft said do you do
any sexual activities with your dog he said no then he paused he said well oh no what yeah is
there a clip of that yeah it was bad oh well i need to analyze this he um i mean i i think he
said we kiss was the next words I don't fuck him?
No, he said we, it's a girl dog.
I don't fuck her?
He said we kiss.
Okay.
Malice sex appearances in content are fucking his dog,
cuckold, gosling.
Not bathing.
Not bathing.
And then on anus, we made him dehydrate his turd.
Yes.
And he's down for all of it.
Oh, and he's a soccer goalie.
Soccer goalie. Soccer goalie.
Soccer goalie.
That's his one.
I want to see those bullet points.
That's his resume.
Dehydrated turd, soccer goalie.
Thinks he's in the Olympics.
Thinks he's an Olympian.
Thinks he's a step away from the Olympics.
But he is, isn't he?
Yeah, but it's, but.
Oh.
No, he's not in the Olympics yet.
I thought he was a step away, though.
He thinks he's a step away.
There's a lot of steps, I think, from 23rd to... He has a path.
Yeah, there's a...
More likely to go to the Olympics
than anyone else in the office.
Well, hold on. Yes.
Yeah.
Did Sidney Wells maybe make it as like a
sharpshooter? A shootist? I don't know if it's a different type of...
That's a brutal sport.
Yeah.
That one word is a big difference. It's like an old male sex scene.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I didn't say you were having sex with your dog.
Why would you say that?
No, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Are people saying you're having sex with your dog?
No, they're saying eat it out.
I am denouncing that.
You want to do that publicly right now?
Publicly.
Do not eat your dog out.
No.
Okay.
My dog and I engage in zero sexual activity.
Zero?
Zero.
Well.
Yeah, what the fuck?
It's a well.
Well?
Come on.
Max didn't react at all.
It was a fast well, too.
I don't remember it being that fast.
Zero.
Well.
That's a guilty well.
That's a guilty well.
A lot in that well.
Yeah.
Heavy.
Heavy well.
Yeah.
Well, let me think about that for a second.
What could that ever mean
And also such an easy denial
I think he like
He thought for a second
We were gonna maybe
Do a
Lie detector test
Yeah
Yeah
I was like let me get
Out of this one
We do kiss
He definitely lets the dog
On the bed while he's having sex
Also
You don't
He does that for sure
Like the dog
Well
It's part of it that's a three
six five yeah um but saying also we kiss is weird he said we kiss yeah because no my dog kisses you
should let no your dog kisses you yeah you don't kiss back he said we kiss yeah he said we kiss
like stella will lick my face yeah I don't put my tongue out.
You're not making out.
Also, that's not even really a kiss.
That's just your dog licking your face.
Licking you, yeah.
Yeah, and I push away.
Yeah.
So he said he kisses his dog.
He said we kiss.
Yeah.
Together they kiss.
Both are engaging in a kiss.
Kissing.
Okay.
If somebody said I saw Nick kissing Kyle, people would think I, like, kissed you on the forehead. Right. But somebody said, I saw Nick kissing Kyle, people would think I kissed you on the forehead.
Right.
But if you saw, I saw Nick and Kyle kissing, we're locked.
And if Nick said, Kyle and I, we kiss.
We kisses.
Yeah, you're guilty.
Yeah.
That's mutually agreed upon.
UVA is such a kissing a blonde, fucking a blonde dog.
Wahoo-wah. blonde dog so true it's the most dog attracted school in the power five yeah yeah gotta be remember we said that you know alabama you go to alabama you get a hot wife 22 with your graduation blonde wife yeah
uvas get like a blonde dog yeah they get a blonde lab a golden lab some sort of dual
mix that yeah here's your dog that's and that malasek is just living up to his what what he's
meant to be right yeah school four years to to get to this that checks out virginia tech is the rival of UVA. And they hate dogs. Most famous along. Yeah.
True.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Yeah, they fight dogs.
Yeah, it all adds up.
Battle dogs versus lover dogs.
What's wrong with Brandon today?
I don't know.
Is something off with Brandon?
Him getting up in the middle of the show is nothing new.
Yeah.
No, but he's kind of quiet.
Yeah, he's just kind of.
How was he on Wesley Sports?
He was fine. Just a dumb bitch like you yeah um yeah that might be oh yeah getting destroyed oh man this cat does look like brandon that kind of does it's a big pussy it's got a grumpy ass
face like brandon and like just the same coloring.
Play the video.
See if there's a, what's the most Brandon it looks like.
Where's my Chick-fil-A at?
Yeah.
Why?
Hey.
Hey, big guy, can I ask you something?
Why are you doing this? Hey, Dave likes me.
Aw.
Does he ask you that much?
Yeah.
Hey, what should I do with this?
Where's my dipping sauce?
Why doesn't he like me?
I bust my ass.
I do everything I'm asked.
I do the rundown.
I have a White Sox Dave thing happen today.
Oh, yeah, that's Brandon.
Oh, wow.
Also, Frank could say anything and it would just become...
What's matter today?
Is it because that cat?
No, why?
Because the cat looks like you.
Is that what we're doing when I get back?
It's the cat, isn't it?
It's not the cat.
The cat is bothering you today.
Nothing's the matter.
I just had to pee.
Is it the furniture?
I just had to pee. Are you the furniture? I just had to pee.
Are you stressing about the furniture in the house?
First of all.
They forgot your TV stand, didn't they?
They did.
When it comes to that tweet by Frank, I mean, that's like a one-punch knockout.
Yeah.
There's no.
Yeah, you look like that cat.
Why don't you find something that looks like him and return it?
Well, I can't do that.
So, yeah, one-punch knockout. Yeah, the cat looks like me. return it. Well, I can't do that. So, yeah, one punch knockout.
Yeah, the cat looks like me.
You should get that cat.
The cat looks like me.
I would love to get that cat.
I can't get a cat, but I would love to get that cat.
Why can't you get a cat?
Don't you have a cat?
Tommy's allergic.
But don't you have a cat?
No, I had to take it back to Mississippi.
Oh, are you animal-less in your house?
I'm animal-less in my house, yes.
Damn.
I didn't realize that.
No.
Tommy's allergic, so we tried it for a while, and he got too allergic.
Didn't you try to make it an outdoor cat?
I did.
It was an outdoor cat in Jersey, and here it couldn't be, so it had to go to Mississippi.
Got it.
And it is an outdoor cat down there.
So that's where we are.
How's Sam doing?
Sam's good.
I just saw him this weekend.
He's good.
Does he remember you? He does. That's good. He's Sam doing? Sam's good. I just saw him this weekend. He's good.
Does he remember you?
He does.
That's good.
He likes it at my mama's house.
He likes going out to Shady Lake.
He likes doing all these things.
Shady Lake sounds... He goes out to Shady Lake?
Yeah, that's the lake my family owns that we go fishing on.
Oh, hell yes.
Own it?
Yeah.
Let's go down there.
Where I first fucked. That's where you first fucked? Shady Lake, that is a place to do it? Yeah. Let's go down there. That's where I first fucked.
That's where you first fucked?
Shady Lake, that is a place to do it.
Yeah, yeah.
That's where I grew up fishing.
I, you know, caught fish.
We had a camp house.
Better times.
I wish I was there right now.
So you're sad right now?
I'm not sad right now at all, but I would rather be at Shady Lake.
I'm pretty sure Shady Lake is where Jim Levenstein lost his virginity.
Who's that? No, that's i don't know what camp that was okay in the lake early on a campsite well that was a movie no where i did in the back of an
asuzu rodeo hell yeah where'd you uh purchase the condom um i don't remember where i purchased the condom probably just the cvs or
the walgreens or back then it would have been a probably a right aid in starkville could have
been a heart nervous buying it oh yeah yeah terribly did you practice putting it on before
you multiple times got to sure sure got to on your own penis or on like a banana mine and i had
a bowl of some sort i'll go and tell you I had no idea how to put it on at first.
I thought you had to stretch.
I didn't know what you had to do.
You had to blow it up?
Did you try to put it on soft?
No.
No, no, no.
I knew that.
I just, but when I took it out, I like stretched it to see.
And then I realized you probably shouldn't do that.
Condoms really fucking suck.
Condoms are the worst.
Yeah, also buying them.
But you do go. It's smart to wear one, but they suck. Condoms are the worst. Yeah, also buying them. But you do go.
It's smart to wear one, but they suck.
You do pass when you first buy them and you're whatever age, you're like, I'm nervous buying these.
But then at some point it becomes a point of pride that you're buying them.
True.
Like you have some swagger that you're buying condoms.
I was always nervous.
Yeah, same.
And then they would just expire.
Yeah.
I had them as a bedside
accessory to impress the fellas i would open up the box throw three away then just let them sit
my i remember freshman year like we made a group run the walmart me and my three roommates and like
we all bought condoms and just they just sat uh-huh put them in the grocery basket cover them
with jumbo lace chips yeah no one sees them and then you take them to the self-checkout
and you have to be 18 plus.
Which is stupid because under 18 is what really needs them.
They're the ones that need them.
Golly.
And they make the for her pleasure ones.
They're thinner.
It's like, no, I don't.
She's not really in the equation.
I don't know what we're doing here.
I bought the extra thin thinking it was the size.
Very presumptuous.
Then they had the fire and ice, and it was one side's hot and one's cold.
I don't want either.
Yeah.
We have fire.
I remember that makes no sense.
Did they have chocolate?
Might have.
Maybe.
I think they had chocolate.
Do girls like icy hot?
Like, that's crazy.
I don't know what side, what was getting.
Which side would you, if you had to pick one side, I think.
I think I'd want cool. You'd want cold dick? I wouldn't want hot side, what was getting. Which side would you, if you had to pick one side, I think. I think I'd want cool.
Yeah.
You'd want cold dick?
I wouldn't want hot dick.
Certainly not.
I'm going to light your pussy on fire.
Right.
So your dick is cold and hers is hot.
Wait, can we look those up?
Do they still make them?
What is the.
That's just putting a chemical on your dick and an vagina.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Babe, you want hot or cold?
I think I want cold.
You had fire last time.
It's my turn.
Dude, I'd cold plunge. I'd go with the hot
and then I'd flip it inside out.
Sawn into the cold plunge.
On your dick.
Or it's like you get a ribbed one, you flip it for yourself.
Yeah.
Just want to feel something.
There's no way they still make those, right?
I don't know.
They did get wild for a while.
There was also, remember the ones that had the spermicide in them?
Yeah.
They upcharge you for that.
I feel like that was just fake.
It killed the sperm right away you guys ever go through a magnum phase no no i actually didn't wait and then it's a phase you
went back i like tried it because i was like i gotta see what's going on here and then it just
what do you mean what do you mean going on here did you start hanging out with black guys and
think you had a big dick for a while? I was like, maybe I do.
I'm not really sure.
There you go.
It's raining out.
Let me get a magnum.
I'll use it as my raincoat.
Yeah, what do you want?
Yeah.
Fire and ice.
What sides for him?
Warming and tingling since.
Wait, it's still a thing.
Dual action lubricant.
What the?
3.3.
I think I'd have to choose ice.
That's pretty hot and pretty cool.
Trojan fire and ice condoms bring you warming and tingling sensations
as you switch up your sexual experience.
Whoa, look at the size guide.
Jesus.
Yeah, whoa.
It's bulbous and shaky.
That's not the Magnum size guide?
No.
Oh, I mean... No, that's a pretty... Oh, okay. It's bulbous and shaky. That's not the Magnum size guy? No. Oh.
No, that's a pretty standard, I'd say.
So wait, is 6.9 the minimum for that condom?
Wait.
I want to see the condom.
That can't be right.
You have to be this height to ride?
No, we can't.
Wait, the condom and emojis. Some marketing person thought we can't. Wait, the condiment emojis.
Some marketing person thought they nailed this.
Oh, yeah.
The first two.
They kind of did.
Yeah, they kind of did.
But imagine someone texting that being like, hey, you want to fuck tonight?
I'm thinking fire, ice.
Getting into an argument with your girl because you both want ice.
No, if she gets those three emojis and understands it, she's a whore.
Were you on the Trojan
website?
Fire ice?
That size guide ruined my day.
Yeah.
We got to look into that.
Is that just the regular size?
Yeah, I mean, I think if you're
smaller than that, you're not really having sex, are you?
Trojan and Magnum condoms.
Oh, this is going to be bad.
This is a bad idea.
This is going to be bad.
Look up some size guides.
Get us some back and right tracks.
Large, medium, small.
Oh, no.
Wait, am I supposed to put my cock against the monitor right now?
Oh, no.
This is going to be bad.
Condom size determined by nominal width. All right, keep scrolling. TV's too big. I'm going to be bad. Condom size is determined by nominal width.
All right, keep scrolling.
TV's too big.
I'm afraid to scroll down.
I did have an era where I convinced myself I was a girth guy.
Wait, whoa, whoa.
All right, most people wear regular-sized condoms
are generally between five and seven inches long.
Okay, all right.
Width designed for the average four.
Okay, okay.
How'd you convince yourself you were a girth guy?
You thought you had a fat cock?
You had a phase where you're like, I got a fat cock.
Yeah.
That was my magic.
Because I have a girthy foot.
Tiny in length.
I think I did a bunch of circumference measurements with my earbud wire.
I don't think fat cocks ever have to ask whether they have a fat cock.
I was farther on the bell curve.
You're kind of bored with one.
Yeah.
I was like, yeah.
Yeah, just because.
Wait, do I have a fat cock?
Oh, God.
Can we keep going down?
No.
No.
I'm ready to be hurt.
This is going to make me kill myself.
Hey, let's look at a study.
Oh, here we go.
Oh, it's a chart.
Here we go.
Oh, 6.7?
What the?
They're all the same.
Yeah, but these are...
They are all the same.
Jesus.
They all have the reservoir tip.
That's nice.
Oh, the studded bear skin is 7.5 to 8.3 inches.
There it is.
There's another one.
How long was your fat cock stage?
It's still going, dude.
How long were you walking around being like, I got a fat cock?
The window of like, I have a chance to fuck and I'm going to fuck is when you do all the measurements, the condom fittings, the psyching yourself out and in.
You get tailored up for a suit.
Right.
Yeah.
Magic Johnson, what's not to love?
Come on, cook.
I feel like you're the only one.
That is a phenomenal show.
I can't believe it got canceled.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can you believe Titus was there?
Sucks.
Yeah, it sucks for them.
They got canceled.
I hate it.
Who were you going to play?
Kurt Rambis.
I don't know.
Did I even get to him?
The white guy.
You'll remember.
Second season.
Oh, I haven't started.
He's the guy who gets clotheslined by Kevin McHale.
Okay, I haven't seen that.
It's the guy playing that kind of takes you out to it.
Like, you're watching and you're like, this isn't Kurt Ramblin.
Yeah.
So obviously not Kurt Ramblin.
I wish this was Titus.
Yeah, yeah.
So you'll know.
Okay.
You'll know.
I need a fat cock stage.
A phase.
I might.
Just get a fat cock.
Just get a, yeah.
Just get a fat cock, Nick.
Fat cock, Colton.
Fat cock might be like better than big dick energy.
Fat cock energy?
Is there a cock that's too fat?
Yeah.
Huh?
I don't know.
I feel like chicks love a fat cock.
Because fat doesn't go into cock, does it?
Yeah.
Huh.
Oh, actual fat?
Actual fat.
Oh, yeah. I don't know about that. Yeah. Now you're asking science questions. If you actual fat? Actual fat. Oh, yeah.
I don't know about that.
Yeah.
Now you're asking science questions.
If you could gain weight in your day, that would be hilarious.
You have stretch marks on your cock.
Man, you've been eating a lot of French fries.
It's going straight to my cock.
Yeah, I'm having melted ice cream and olive oil.
One of these protein shakes trying to beef up my cock.
Why can't you?
Trying to lose some cock weight. I feel like Ron Jeremy probably tried to convince people that could happen. to beef up my cock. Why can't you? Trying to lose some cock weight.
I feel like Ron Jeremy probably tried to convince people that could happen.
That's a fat cock.
Yeah.
Him?
Yeah.
He's a bad guy, though.
Bad, bad guy.
Do any of you guys own the cock pumps that make your cock bigger?
Nope.
Nobody tried one of those?
No.
I never did.
You see them advertised all the time.
I feel like if you get caught with that, it's over.
It's done for.
It's over.
You can't have that be something that's in your house.
My buddy, as a prank, got me a ring once to wear.
Because I'm not good at sex, and it fit me like a luau girl hula hooping.
What does the ring do?
It keeps your bone, right?
More blood, I think.
I thought it was for the girl.
Cock ring.
No, it's a cock ring.
I think it'd be no different than putting a rubber band around your finger.
It gets like a gorge.
It keeps the blood in.
Oh, it's a ring.
You put your dick in, your soft dick, right?
Yeah, and then you get hard and it like...
Then it stays.
Or had it.
I always thought a cock ring was a piercing, like a nose ring.
No, that's a Prince Albert.
Prince Albert.
Ah.
Yeah.
Prince Albert.
Yeah, that's the name of the piercing.
Your dick pierce, Prince Albert.
Dick Pierce sounds like a spy.
Yeah.
Like a British spy.
Yeah, he does.
Hmm.
Dick Pierce is James Bond's
nemesis.
Oh, not Dick Pierce again.
Was that his catchphrase, Nick? He just says
hmm.
He's so inquisitive. He sees a clue
and he just goes hmm.
You'll never catch me.
Dick Pierce.
The photos
have been secured and the poll is up for the next video.
Whoa.
That was quick.
Any favorites?
Wait, can we see them?
This isn't a CEO competition.
Do we get to vote?
It's a pride thing.
Can we see the pictures?
What did you text Bree?
Okay.
I put them all in a group text.
I kind of don't like this anymore.
Delete it.
Yeah, it didn't have the result I was hoping.
It's not nothing against any of them.
It's just weird.
Yeah, delete it, Chad.
Also, only one guy tried to be hot there.
The rest are just selfies.
Which of the guys tried to be hot?
Clem is shirtless, isn't he?
With a tie.
Oh, he is.
He's shirtless, yeah.
Clem's looking coy and sexy.
You think Clem's trying to be hot
the rest of them are just here's my face right now who responded first jay
clem's going shirtless with a tie and he's got a little sexy coy look you think that's the way
to kick it up a notch is to put your that's a sexy coy look did brianna have any did she just
send it or she said anything else no just send it i love that queen of the
yak joey's squinting the eyes a little bit that is the queen of the act joey's trying to fuck the
camera a little bit joey's hot yeah joey's joey sent two that was oh what was the other one che
it was basically that but from a little bit farther away joey's a hot guy yeah yeah he is
that's john rich is he cross-eyed in this no a little bit he kind of is
that right one's not really playing ball it's it's unsettling poor john rich he's so who's
winning the vote i'd guess the woman i bet with ease Vote John Rich
Yeah
Clem
Alright
Winning
Congrats
Getting killed
Alright that was fun
Was it?
No
Nah
I didn't like that
It was
The funnest part was having
Che have to text them
Yeah
Which we didn't even get to see
Maybe we should do four more.
Round two?
You should just keep spinning the wheel until all the names are off.
It's fine.
Thanks for everybody to do.
Everyone has to do something.
I snapped a little on Che last night.
It had been a long time.
Did you feel bad?
A little bit.
But he was trying to get me to admit
that i was wrong and i was like you're the one person in the world who never admits they're
wrong about anything i will not negotiate with terrorists i don't think you snapped on me at all
i provoked you so now i don't feel bad yeah he doesn't even it doesn't register to him that
you could have snapped on it i think my my relationship with Che is definitely like a pack of cigarettes
a day.
In terms of
longevity. Should Che get his flowers?
Are the bucks looking hot?
No, that's the worst part about this.
He made a prediction that was
completely biased and just blind
hope in his team and it happened that they had to
play the worst team in the playoffs.
He didn't know that was going to hot as hell.
Jay, he beats the Lions.
If they beat the Lions, I will give
Chase. What about this, though?
They kind of did kill the tush push.
They did. They stopped it last
night and then Jason Kelsey
retired and then Jay dropped.
What was your what was your tweet?
Jay goes, I'm going to he goes,
I'm about to tweet something that's going to get Philly
so mad.
And what was the exact tweet?
Brotherly shove it up your ass.
Good night, Philadelphia.
Oh!
Really got him.
Got him good.
Brotherly shove it up your ass.
Good night, Philadelphia.
Oh, man.
You kind of had it and then just kept going there. Shove it up your ass. Good night, Philadelphia. Great, man. You kind of had it and then just kept going there.
Shove it up your ass.
Good night, Philadelphia.
Great game.
You guys lose.
We're going to move on to the next game.
Yeah, buy tickets next week.
Just keeps going on.
Peace.
Look at that.
Brevely shove it up your ass.
You should have just stopped to shove it up your ass, Che.
The good night, Philadelphia.
Also, this also kind of ignores the fact that they tried to rip Jalen Hurts' face off on the scene.
Correct.
Well, that's what Che told him to do.
Hurt him.
You've got to injure him.
That's the only way to stop him.
That is true.
Yeah.
They were following his directive.
What's up with the bottom of your shoe?
These are just fucking boots I bought.
Why are you wearing those shoes?
Because there's a ton of snow.
Are you trying to be the new CEO?
You're making a play. It's a power play. That's you trying to be the new CEO? You're making a play.
It's a power play.
That's a power play.
They're heels.
They're too shiny.
They're boots.
That's a power play.
They're just boots, boys.
There's a smiley face on the bottom of those boots.
Don't project your insecurities on me.
I got nice shoes.
Don't do this, Colton.
You sound ridiculous.
Back off, Colton.
Standard boots.
I wore nice shoes.
God forbid someone at least attempts to dress like me. God,, Colton. Standard moves. I wore nice shoes. You all should have done that before. Someone at least attempts to dress the way you are.
God, he'll flip so hard on us.
It's going to be, we're going to be in the meeting.
Yeah.
It'll be like any questions.
It'll be like, anyone dress appropriately to be CEO today?
Dress for the job you want.
And at Barstool Sports, the CEO wears a baseball cap and nice boots.
It is sad that we are such a low barrier for how we dress
myself included that like wearing those shoes you're like what the fuck you trying to prove
yeah whenever kyle wears jeans into the office everybody erupts yeah when pft wears a collared
shirt with buttons i say who died yeah yeah it's pretty pathetic i might just start dressing like i have a desk job
should we do dress up week not dress up business cash but should we do like uh yeah like we you
gotta have like a a collar yeah maybe it escalates from monday to friday and a one hour lunch yeah
nine to five what would it look like? Let's all dress up tomorrow
Okay
Let's just see what it would look like
Fuck
Not dress up but like
I don't think I have dressing
Wear something nice
I threw all of mine out
I don't think I have any collared shirts
Let's see if we can all wear something nice
Okay
You're just gonna wear a vest
No I don't think so
I'll try
I'll just wear a polo and some khakis
That's what I think I'm gonna do
Yeah
That's the nicest i can go okay
that's my peak dress nice tomorrow dress nice tomorrow done for the yak just for the act okay
yeah don't wear it on mostly sports i won't be surprised
wake up mincey has been postponed. What? Why?
Wait, what?
No.
Yeah.
Why?
Where's he been?
The weather for his producer to fly up, so Thursday now is going to be.
But then he doesn't do a show Friday, right?
Right.
Just leave him wanting more.
But it's a daily show. Yeah, I got that text today.
It was pretty devastating to get that.
Hold on.
We're flying a guy in to do Wake Up Minzy?
To stay for a week.
He does two weeks on, one week off.
Longshoreman.
No one in this office wants to risk their career becoming his producer.
What does a normal week look like?
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, two weeks on, two weeks off.
I'm very interested in this man.
But the first week starts on Thursday.
Correct.
Correct.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that was devastating news to get.
It's not going to happen Thursday either, is it?
Well, they have to do a test show, which I think was supposed to be yesterday, today. Okay. That was devastating news to get. It's not going to happen Thursday either, is it?
Well, they have to do a test show, which I think was supposed to be yesterday, today.
Okay.
Yeah, it was a walkthrough.
So the walkthrough hasn't happened. Wait, do I hear his voice?
Is he here?
I haven't seen him in a little bit.
It's season three and we're still testing.
We're testing.
We're still testing stuff.
We're going to test it out.
Well, it's a new studio, right?
They're not letting him use the Jumbotron anymore
Jumbotron's out
It's a theme of probation
It's the probation theme
Yeah
So where's
Where's he gonna be
I think one of the studios
Okay
They should honestly just
We should just be like
Alright you're live
And then just go walk away
Never
Never put it out
Yeah
Just let him do a show
Every morning
Yeah
It would be years before he
Maybe put out a couple clips.
Yeah.
He could quote tweet it literally viral.
Be like Creed Thoughts.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just let Mincy...
We could actually...
Wake Up Mincy is a perfect test for the Barstool pay-per-view.
It should be like 10 bucks and you get the unfiltered Wake Up.
Oh, God.
We should make him do it on only fans that or just have an only live audience yeah so like not
recorded he just does it in front of like 12 people every day yeah we take their cell phones
yeah yeah yeah first come first serve.
That's how we should test it.
That is a great idea. We should do a test.
We have a live studio audience.
We do a video where we do a test audience and a focus group for the new Wake Up Mincy.
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
How would you want this to end?
How would you improve this?
Yes.
How much do you like the main character?
We need to get a focus group.
Yes, but of people that don't know Mincy.
Yeah, how do we do that? We can ask Paige. Just pay him a little character. Yeah. You need to get a focus group. Yes, but of people that don't know Mincy. Yeah, how do we do that?
We can ask Paige.
Just pay him a little bit.
Yeah.
On Craigslist.
And then just like, hey, free dinner for the people.
Buy him lunch, yeah.
It'll take you two hours.
Oh, we would get people easily.
Yeah.
Did you guys ever do a focus group?
I did one once in my life.
It was awesome.
I used to do it in the Ohio Valley Mall for movie trailers for two bucks.
Oh.
Oh, really?
I would watch movie trailers and movies that are about to go to the theaters there
and how likely I would be to watch them.
I did it for a pair of shoes, and I got 100 bucks.
It was awesome.
Yeah.
I didn't get to keep the shoes, though.
Oh.
Yeah.
That part sucked.
So you tested the shoes out.
Yeah, it was like we all sat around,
and they showed us the shoe,
and they were like, this is what it does,
and put it on and walk around what kind of shoe was it it was um i can't remember
the brand they were like they were like flip-flop bottoms but fabric tops very lightweight i'm kind
of fuck i can't remember it sound good they were very comfortable then you fill out a survey yeah you do a survey yeah focus groups yeah never did a focus group columbus ohio was the uh fast
food testing market testing too we did uh i was one of the first in this country to try the kfc
double down i was the first civilian to have the white castle sloppy There you go. I used to have a certificate. Columbus is fast food.
Indianapolis is like sit-down chain.
The menu at Chili's in the Indianapolis area will have all their test menu items.
Because it is really the perfect heart of America.
What number were you for the Double Down?
I'm up there.
I don't know.
It's hard to say.
I was 0-0-0-1.
Yeah, I wasn't.
I've never even heard of that.
Hank tried Baja Blast before anyone else.
What?
In America, yeah.
That's crazy.
Yeah, he just had it in his refrigerator because his dad owns like 25 Taco Bell chains.
Wow.
How insane is that?
Is that the plot of The Blind Side?
Yeah, it is.
You're right.
Yeah, he said that when he was a kid, he would just have Baja Blast in his fridge.
That son of a bitch.
Yeah.
Incredible.
He's still in Dallas, I think.
No, he just was over there.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
He's back.
I got friends that went to high school with Dave Thomas' granddaughter
Wendy's daughter
daughter maybe
I thought Wendy was the granddaughter
I thought Wendy was the daughter
I thought it was like Wendy's niece
but Wendy was not a good looking woman right
oh come on
no I'm being honest I thought it was like
her face looks fine
can you look it up
no I think that's like a drawing of it.
Mook?
Yeah, it's like a side-by-side.
You're saying Wendy's ugly?
How old is she before we...
You like Wendy's.
Wendy's got to be damn near dead.
I love Wendy's.
I think Wendy was very...
I fucking love Wendy's.
Do you like my balls?
Fuck.
You like Wendy's penis nuts rubbed down your face?
Suck my dick then, bitch.
Wendy's... Don rubbed down your face? Suck my dick then, bitch.
Don't make Wendy ugly.
I'm not making her ugly.
I'm saying I think that I saw something.
Maybe it was just two different people.
She had a frosting machine in her bedroom, though.
Oh, that's awesome.
She was growing up.
Let's see real Wendy.
Let's see real Wendy. Let's see real Wendy.
Yeah.
Yep.
Oh, come on.
Come on, guys.
That's a good.
Come on.
I mean, the picture on the right.
The picture on the right is not like it's a hot woman.
Yeah, you're right.
They're both just young girls. She's gotten a lot better looking with age, but that picture on the right is not.
You wouldn't be like, oh, look, there's Wendy.
I think I would no chance
I think they should have made the
Wendy's logo uglier
can we see a realistic Wendy's logo
I think they should have found a hotter Wendy
oh come on
that's the daughter
okay it's a controversial take
what do you want me to say
found a hot 9 year old
yeah we're gonna draw you a me to say? Found a hot nine-year-old.
Yeah.
We're going to draw you.
A focus group said, we need a hotter kid.
Still did it.
That's Wendy.
That's got to be a tough job for the artist.
Just be like, hey, I want my daughter to be the logo.
And they're like, ugh.
This daughter?
Do you mind if we make your daughter hotter?
It would be funny if you had a really hot daughter, but her name was Tabitha.
Yeah, and just put a name to that.
We can't name the restaurant that.
It's too bad.
Yeah, Wendy's is good.
I like Wendy's.
Yeah.
I never got the dipping the fries in the Frosty That's people that love attention
That's people that mix shit in their milk at the lunch table
Trying to get Jerry to do for Jerry After Dark
What was the thing called where you have to go
To each
Fast food place and order exactly
Whatever the person in front of you ordered
This was a viral trend
Yeah what was that called
I'm trying to get him to do that.
So you, like, it's just a total roll of the dice.
Like, you go up.
I know what you're going to do.
You're going to be in front of him.
You're going to be in front of him in the car in front.
I actually didn't think about that.
Yes, now I will.
And you're going to get, like, 7,000 chicken nuggets.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a good viral trend.
It is. Yeah, i'll take 50 burgers
yeah he uh i don't know what he's got planned for jerry after dark tonight
oh it's tonight yeah
he left quickly yesterday.
Once a week doesn't feel like that much,
but somehow Jerry After Dark, it does feel like.
It shows up. It comes around fast.
Every show he does is a massive event.
Yeah, and it just puts him through so much pain and torture.
And there's a lingering effect of it
that it feels like a quick turnaround even once a week.
Right.
Tonight should be low stress.
I don't know if he's on that.
I was telling him that he wanted to do a wee bowling to 300.
That's going to take forever.
It seems like, yeah, that seems impossible.
No, he could do that.
He also was thinking about the 10,000 calorie challenge.
He has to, like Michael Phelps diet?
He has to eat 10,000 calories.
Also, his right arm is hurt.
How's he going to?
Correct.
I don't know.
With his left, he'll never get it done.
No. Yeah, i don't know with his left he'll never get it done no yeah i don't think i don't think jerry's thinking about it i think there's also
that's also maybe a flaw in the system is like it feels like every tuesday comes around i'm like
what's jerry doing and ryan and lucas are like we don't really know yeah which leads to just
throwing some terrible thing that's gonna torture Jerry together
Last minute
Yeah it's like they have a concrete idea
Then they get to game day
And they're like wait we have to like
Hurt him more
Somehow
Yeah
We'll see
Does anyone want my Blackhawks tickets tonight?
I can't tonight
Not tonight
I'm making pizza
Old
With flavor Maybe I'm making a margarita pizza
Well guess what
If Brandon doesn't take them
I'm going to put them on GameTime
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Brandon, are you
going to take them? No.
What about Stephanie? Stephanie, you want my
tickets? Yeah.
Not tonight, but yes.
Sorry.
I would love to go.
Okay.
We'll figure out a time.
Four answers.
Does North Korea have entertainment at all?
I saw a clip today of a public North Korean computer lounge, and it was really eerie.
Yeah.
Do they have television programs?
Government run.
Comedy shows?
But I don't know how many people even have power.
No.
Huh.
That's got to be a tough crowd to do stand-up.
Yeah.
Impossible.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I can't imagine there are a lot of laughs in a country like that.
We should try to get move books in North Korea.
We thought about it.
Yeah.
Where was that on the Perth?
They have basketball.
Perth was up high.
They do have basketball, right?
They have sports.
Dennis Rodman went over there to look at the team.
And then they have crazy rules with basketball that are actually not that crazy.
Like a dunk is worth three points and shit. And then you sit there and think about it you're like yeah that would be cool yeah
nobody in north korea can dunk right yeah there's gotta be a few there's gotta be some funny
motherfuckers over there the kim jong before this one ill he uh was obsessed with train travel i
think he took a train all the way across r once. Really? He also shot an 18.
Yeah, he was the golfer, right?
Yeah.
What does this one do?
No, he shot like a 36.
This one spends $20 million a year on booze, big time.
Oh, yeah.
What?
How do you do that?
I think if we could look up how much he spends a year on booze, it's nuts.
That's a lot.
He parties.
He's got himself a pretty little wife
really and he's not dead no but there was that for a while people thought he was sick yeah
so we're on now or we're well who's the next you have a kid i don't know
who's next up out of north korea It is kind of crazy that he descended from God, right?
Yeah.
Because who was Il's dad?
30 million.
On Henny.
On Henny.
Oh.
We got to get him.
We got to get him on Henny Friday.
Yeah.
We got to get him.
All right.
All right.
I have retired from Hennessy very publicly.
If we can get Kim Jong-un to take part in a Henny Friday, I will un-retire.
Who is Un's grandfather?
Is he the one who started the whole thing?
Kim Jong-soon?
Fat?
Was that one?
Fat?
Kim Jong-fat.
I think there was a fat.
No.
Kim Jong-fat cock.
I'm going to look it up.
I don't know, man.
Kim Jong- Cock. I'm going to look it up. I don't know, man. Kim Jong is 40.
This is a dozen niche category.
Kim Jong Sung.
He's the one who started it, right?
He founded North Korea.
I just got a DM from a guy that we met on a rediscovering.
His mom is named Wendy, and she worked for Wendy's
and she got free Wendy's.
Whoa.
Every time?
Maybe.
Probably.
She probably just got it for free
because she worked there, right?
Oh, he used to get
unlimited Wendy's dollars.
Unlimited is, yeah,
that's something to write about.
Hmm.
The title Supreme Leader is badass.
Yeah.
Like there's nothing.
I don't think there's anything else that tops that.
No.
Any of you ever worked in... Grand Wizard.
That's pretty good.
Grand Wizard's pretty good.
Yeah.
Sucks that it's for such a
it's a good title for a bad job
yeah can we get Grand Wizard back
how would you reclaim
Grand Wizard
is there a way to get that title
it has to be a magician
I'll have to scrape it off my grandfather's grave
yeah
or is it tainted forever
I think it's tainted forever like the Hitler stash
Yeah
Me and Big T have a
Consigliere
At our apartment with the Hitler stash
What?
A lot going on there
Hold on
Black eye
But it's not allowed to do it
It's just a Hitler stash
Nothing more nothing less It's what it is and it is just a straight it's just a hitler stash it's a michael
nothing more nothing less it's what it is and it's it's insane every time i look at it
i don't know what the title he works at the apartment concierge
yeah see that was i thought you had like a cohort birds of a feather yeah we thought you had like
what is that yeah that's like a mafia like Tom Hagen in Godfather was a consigliere.
He wasn't in the family, but he was part of the family.
They went to him for advice.
Yeah, he was a decision maker.
Wrong French word, yeah.
Is he like a front desk guy?
Yeah.
A doorman.
Pretty much.
He does more than he he handles packages and you know
yeah
I've never seen
another one
I mean that sets
the tone for the
entire building
I don't know if he
knows
about Hitler
or the stash
if he knew
or he doesn't know
about Hitler
I don't
maybe he forgot
I don't think he knows
you need to try to
bring it up to him
he forgot about Hitler
what do I need to try to bring up Hitler to him. He forgot about Hitler? What do I need to do?
You need to try to bring up Hitler to him.
What could I say?
Oh, it's like Brett.
Roll up Brett.
Didn't know about Hitler.
Like, yeah.
Yeah, just be like, they're calling Trump Hitler?
Who's this Hitler guy?
Okay.
Yeah, and just be like, and then just see if anything registers.
All right.
Or just like, go up and just be like, you think I could pull that off?
Be like, nah, this is a Hitler stash.
Oh, this, no is a Hitler stash. Oh, this?
He's super nice.
MJ had a Hitler stash in a Haynes commercial.
In a Haynes commercial with Kevin Bacon.
Really?
And if he can't bring the Hitler stash back, then none of us can really.
It was the height of MJ's powers being like, no one's going to station it.
Yeah, it felt like he did okay with it.
Colby. But it didn't like. like he did okay with it. Colby.
But it didn't like.
Hitler stash allegations.
Who?
Colby.
He had one?
In our Goatee Week tweet, he had an unfortunate shadow.
Oh, yeah.
And he was full Hitler'd.
Damn.
We should bring back Goatee Week.
Bring back Colby.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Goatee Week rocked.
And he was a Hitler apologist, correct? He was. Yeah. Uh-huh. But the shadow was just unfortunate.. Bring back Colby. Yeah. Yeah. Goatee Week rocked. And he was a Hitler apologist, correct?
He was.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
But the shadow was just unfortunate.
And that was Colby that worked here.
Great, great choice.
Still on the Yak text chain.
Uh-huh.
Really liked it.
Yeah.
Good at music.
Loved Hitler.
Man, we used to be able to play music.
Yeah.
Ugh.
Good.
Friday vibes.
I don't know how we could bring it back.
Can we do Friday vibes like on Twitch or- I don't know how we could bring it back. Can we do Friday vibes like on Twitch or pay-per-view?
Can we do a live show?
Nope.
Nope.
That live show, that kind of scared us from live shows.
It was a disaster.
Catastrophe.
Oh, my God.
We had five mics for like eight people.
Kid ended up getting fired for that.
Who?
Guy that worked there.
Oh, really?
He was supposed to be working the audio, and he just left after we started the show.
Oh, fuck.
Okay, that makes more sense.
Yeah.
And one of our mics was a karaoke machine.
That's right.
Yeah.
Disaster.
All right, Joe got the tickets.
Why don't we do a live show from Shady Creek?
Shady Lake.
Ah.
Shady Lake.
It'd be great.
We got picnic tables out there.
Can we do it from the spot you fucked?
I once fought a goose.
Live from the spot Brandon fucked.
That's good.
You once fought a what?
I once fought a goose out there.
A goose?
Yeah.
They'll fight you.
They'll fight you in a heartbeat.
Oh, fuck geese.
Yeah, I fought a goose over a beaver dam.
What?
Atop a beaver dam or because of a beaver dam?
That was a mad libs.
Because of a beaver dam.
Over a beaver dam?
Was it like territory?
Yeah, your beaver dam?
No, no.
See, I was-
What was the beaver doing?
The beaver wasn't there.
It was inside the dam probably.
I wanted to fish outside the beaver dam because there's sticks and it's a good fishing spot. And the goose had built its nest into to fish outside the beaver dam, you know, because there's sticks and it's a good fishing spot.
And the goose had built its nest into the side of the beaver dam.
And as we got close to try to fish it,
the goose stood up and started to charge us.
We were in a boat.
Were you in overalls and like a straw hat?
Did you have like just one tooth from the bottom that came up over the top of it?
No, no, no.
I was me and I was there.
You always have dirt on your cheek.
And I beat the goose.
You beat the goose?
Beat the goose.
You beat it up?
I scared it off.
It went away from that spot, and we fished it.
And then later it would return to that spot.
Did you do a brain walk or shout?
Hey!
Oh, I definitely did a lot of those.
Yeah, yeah.
Beaver trapping's pretty sad, isn't it?
Don't you drown them?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's fucked up.
Well, beavers are a nuisance animal.
They'll kill them in a heartbeat.
French Canadians did a lot of that.
They loved the pelt.
They loved the pelt.
I got a friend now that is in the trapping business.
He put a picture on Facebook of like eight dead beavers yesterday.
That sounds so hard.
Yeah.
In the trapping business.
He traps hogs, beavers, coyotes, all of them.
Is he up in Michigan?
No, he's in Mississippi.
He's actually a YouTuber.
Does he have a house he goes back to?
Huh?
No.
With all of it?
No.
A trap house?
How does he trap them?
Well, he has a-
Is he the cardboard box with a stick propped up underneath?
No, he has those jaws things.
Oh, yeah.
And then for hogs, he'll have a big round circle that just drops down on top of him.
Can we borrow some of those for the show?
It's a matter of time until we bear a trap.
The hogs or the traps?
Both.
Both, maybe.
I was thinking the traps.
I wouldn't mind doing a hog something out in the midst of a pig.
How many people do you think if we hung it up above the court?
That's the way to do it.
We should do that. Oh, do it. We should do that.
Oh, my gosh.
We should do a day where we trap someone.
And all kinds of things.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Trap that?
It's a big net.
Yeah.
Didn't we find that?
Didn't we watch that?
The net that shoots out of the gun?
We tried to buy that.
Yeah.
Do we have that?
I'm going to try to buy it right now.
Wait, I think we already bought it.
We tried to buy it before.
We're going to try to trap Mince.
We've had this. No, we've shot already bought it. You tried to buy it before. We're going to try to trap Mince. We've had this.
No, we've shot this before.
Yeah, but the net isn't.
We need to trap him to where he's unsuspecting.
The net, you just shoot him.
I could get him with a glue trap.
I could get him with a glue trap.
You could get him to stand on a glue trap and not be able to move.
I could get him to go to the middle of a glue trap.
What is a glue trap?
That's the inhumane one for mice.
He just stays there and he has to gnaw off his leg if he wants to get out.
He might be in one right now.
I'm going to hit up y'all.
Let's see if I can get some of his traps.
What's his name?
Y-A-W-T, Y-A-W-T.
His name is David.
He's got like 100 and something thousand subscribers on YouTube.
He's from my hometown.
But he's a trapper.
A trappist.
A trapeze.
Trappist.
Trappist.
Yeah, we should trap Mints.
We should all have to make our homemade trap.
Oh, a trap competition.
Yeah.
I do like the idea of him stepping in something and pulls him up.
I mean, I feel like we could almost trap him in that soccer net.
Yeah, probably.
You should put some widespread panic tickets in there.
Just have him just all jumbled up.
What's the biggest animal that gets trapped?
Good question.
A bear?
Yeah, there are bear traps. there's no whale traps right it's my guy right there yeah no the whales they harpoon he's got 200 god damn he's got a lot
of subscribers how many is that 203 yeah and he just traps animals traps animals and talks about
jesus oh that's a bunch of beavers right there
On his cover
That's a lot of beavers
That's a lot of beavers
A lot of pelt
Wait are those beavers or hogs
That might be hogs
I can't tell
I feel bad for the beavers
Those are hogs I think
Yeah
Drowning's a bad way to go
And beavers also like
Kind of cute
In like cartoons
I like their tails
Yeah angry beavers
So you can't really I don't want to trap beavers Kind of cute in cartoons. I like their tails. Yeah, Angry Beavers.
You can't really... I don't want to trap beavers.
What do you want to trap?
Mincy.
Okay.
I saved a beaver's mascot's life once.
He was the mascot.
A beaver.
A big beaver mascot saved his life.
Okay.
How?
Relay for life, which is a walk for cancer.
He got overheated and collapsed.
Nobody had water except for me.
Was he walking in the...
He was walking in the beaver suit.
That's incredible.
Who was he representing?
Bucky.
He was representing West Banco Arena.
Oh, yeah.
Should have Johnny Ham checked him.
Did CPR on him?
No, I just poured water on his face and gave him my water.
You woke that beaver up.
Saved him.
You consider just giving him water saving his life. He had a heat stroke. You woke that beaver up. You considered just giving him water, saving his life.
He was maybe a heat stroke.
He collapsed from heat exhaustion in a mascot suit.
A lot of people die that way.
That's the only time you can beaver wet.
How many people have died overheating in a mascot suit?
I'm not saying it hasn't happened.
It's happened.
For sure it's happened.
Hot day on the trail.
When mascots get injured injured it's very funny
that the panthers mascot passing out coming down on that on the that was no that was uh
what was rocky rocky okay rocky the nuggets uh mountain lion
they're like tearing an acl yeah It's very funny. Benny the Bull.
Good mascot.
One of the best.
Man.
One of the best.
He gets popcorn everywhere.
Yeah, he goes crazy.
Is he the highest paid mascot?
No, the Suns gorilla.
What?
Yeah.
The Suns gorilla.
I mean, he's been big for years.
I looked at the top.
And the San Diego Chicken, right?
Wasn't he up there at one point?
Radnar.
The best was Radnar for the Vikings.
He tried to hold out, and he was like,
I want a 10-year, $1 million contract.
So $1 million over 10 years, and the Vikings were like, nah.
And then they found another guy to ride out on a motorcycle.
They get paid, like some of them get paid like half a million, right?
I don't think so.
Yeah, there was an article recently about Rocky. I think Rocky's 600K. What? Some of them get a like half a million right i don't think so yeah there was an article recently about rocky i think rocky's rocky's 600k yeah what yeah some of them get a lot of money that's crazy
that's busboy money that's damn near that's wild to be a diva and ask for 100 grand yeah
they're just like nah we're good yeah nobody knows your face yeah but some of them are like you're a place but if you're
gonna be a diva you might as well just go all the way with it and be like pay me 800 grand a year
or something yeah it's just like funny contract negotiation because how many like now we'll still
play the game i don't know how many are irreplaceable but like the ones that show their
face most of them not but yeah i wonder if there's like a free agent market for these guys like if you crush it in denver he's just out someone tries search stephanie search ragnar
contract holdout it's just the notre dame leprechaun probably has some leverage that
no because they switch it every it's not like a it's not a little redhead guy student yeah yeah
remember there's a big people were very upset because there was an african-american oh really yeah no people were very upset in west virginia have
we had a girl mountain girl oh yeah but that's just like a volunteered student right yeah i always
assume notre dame just looked at their student body and was like we need a guy who's five five
or shorter and has red hair and there's only like three guys oh no i think there's more than that
because it's everyone who goes to notre dame is either a football player or wants to be rudy yeah 5'5 or shorter and has red hair. And there's only like three guys. Oh, no, I think there's more than that.
Because everyone who goes to Notre Dame is either a football player or wants to be Rudy.
Yeah.
There's only two types of.
And then all the women are either Mary Kate or Kate Mary.
Yeah.
That's their whole entire student population.
Yeah, I think it's a student.
I think it's like a big deal.
Who's the next leprechaun?
But you don't have to look.
No, short.
What does the current one look like?
I don't know.
Could you be short guy?
You couldn't be short.
Oh, that?
Oh, never mind.
Oh, I don't think you could be.
Oh, boy.
Oh, no.
Who's that?
Oh, no.
What a headline.
Yeah, that's cool.
Why Denver? Wait, let me read that. Why for the podcast listeners here yeah scroll up scroll up why denver nuggets mascot rocky 625 000 salary dwarfs 252 uh salary
for highest paid wmba play i have a theory why go on I think it's because Rocky is men's basketball.
Yeah.
And the WNBA is women's.
I think that might be.
What's the highest paid WNBA mascot?
How much is the Lynx making?
17 an hour probably.
Lynx got a dynasty.
They had one.
We should try to...
They don't have any
mascot friendly names.
Does Chicago Sky
have a mascot?
And if not...
How do you make it...
Really?
Yes.
Yes.
It's creepy.
Yeah.
It's very weird.
What is the Sky's mascot?
Is it a...
Shouldn't it just be like
a sunroof?
Isn't it like Skyman
or something like that?
Oh, that's right.
It's Skyman.
Skyman.
It's an astronaut.
It's a dude?
I want to put the suit
on for a game. Be Skyman. Yeah, I want to be Skyman. It's a dude? I want to put the suit on for a game.
You want to be Skyman?
Yeah, I want to be Skyman.
I want to give it a go.
I would do that if anyone with the Chicago Sky is watching.
The New York Liberty do something cool.
They have a bunch of older people called the Timeless Torches that dance to current hip-hop music.
That's not cool at all.
Yeah, that's really cool.
No, it's actually very funny they love it
skyman doesn't look as bad as i thought he would no he's not as bad as bolt bolt man for the
chargers well bolt man was unofficial mascot he wasn't really tried to be official right
and the pictures of bolt man at city council and stuff
if you guys think in your head do you remember remember who or what kid was your high school mascot?
I don't think we had one.
Oh, yeah.
I remember.
I remember that guy.
Who was it?
We had a short kid.
The gayest guy in school.
Yeah, our mascot was a gay boy.
Montreal Patterson was ours.
His name was Slick, and he was this tall.
Little guy?
Little guy.
In college, there was a Bucky that lived in my building,
and I saw the Bucky mascot in the washer and dryer,
like the laundry room.
Oh, he had to wash it himself?
Yeah.
I wanted to steal it real bad.
Yeah.
What a great heist.
I just sent you the Ragnar article.
It's just so funny looking.
It was 10 years, $1 just so funny it was 10 years
1.6 million dollars over the 10 years
what's that average out to?
it was like 20,000 a game or something
it's fucking nuts
a lot
yeah
he really thought he meant something
is Mincy's voice carrying?
is he here?
I just keep hearing I think it just reverberates through the
walls at all times yeah like that's a sentence he said like weeks ago yeah still bouncing around
these walls could talk they'd be talking about lane kiffin exclusively i'm happy he got to keep
lane i was worried for him what do he gone dark on Twitter, Mince?
I've just not seen him.
It wasn't on Twitter. It was on a show.
Oh, that's where it was.
Yeah, true.
What do you think Lane thinks of Mincey?
I don't know.
I don't know.
What would you think?
I'm sure he he likes the publicity
I wonder if Lane could like
you think if he had
like if he got in trouble he could like
put it on Mincy
Mincy could be his fall guy
Mincy would do that
Mincy would do it
but is the trouble Lane could get in gonna be believable if
he puts it on mincy yeah mincy wouldn't hold up to interrogation very well i would imagine
i'd like to watch that yeah he'd get sweaty as shit no he'd just start talking about himself
during the interrogation. True.
I think we glossed over too quickly that he's just won $2.1 million playing poker.
He has not won $2.1 million. Is that what he said?
He said $1.2 million maybe?
No, he did not say that.
Sorry, he cashed for $2.1 million.
I thought he said it was like $600,000.
$600,000 in person and then $1.5 million live.
Yeah, he's a savant.
Rain man.
Makes no sense.
Can I ask a question?
Yeah.
Is that card at Kyle's feet, is that a future JIC?
Are we being tricked right now?
What's the card?
What do you think it is?
I don't know.
I feel like maybe one of the JICs either planted it there or will show up and be like,
oh, I see there was your card or something like that.
Or is it just a stray card?
I have a guess.
They have been collaborating.
I have a guess, too.
I also have a guess.
So all our Jicks were on Instagram Live together last week?
Yeah. They've been doing it regularly, too. Oh, good for them. All right. We'll all say a guess. So all our chicks were on Instagram Live together last week? Yeah.
They've been doing it regularly, too.
Oh, good for them.
All right.
We'll all say a card.
Okay.
If somebody gets that card correct, they have to tweet out every turd they poop this week.
Why would you want to get it correct?
You don't.
You don't want to get it correct, but you have to guess.
Okay.
Me first? Yeah. Oh, fuck. correct but you have to guess okay me first yeah oh fuck all right to make it interesting
never mind no no no is it a is it a number or a make it tight here. No. Let's make it tight. Yes, number of face.
Aces count as faces.
This is a face.
Oh, no.
That's less. All right.
Less options.
All right, Nick.
King of diamonds.
I won't reveal until it's over.
Jack of clubs.
Oh.
King of spades.
Queen of hearts.
The.
Why don't I?
It can't be it.
It's not the Ace of Clubs.
So I'm going to say Ace of Clubs because there's no way Ace of Clubs.
Booth.
And if nobody gets it, Kyle, you have to do it.
Stephanie.
Stephanie.
All right, Booth.
Jack of Diamonds.
Who's next? How's that? Jack of Diamonds. Stephanie?
Oh, shit. Stephanie?
I was not keeping track.
Can you guys go through what you called?
No, we cannot.
Ace of Hearts.
Three Leaves.
Clubs. Ace of Clubs.
Three Leaves.
I said Ace of Clubs. Three Leaves. I said Ace of Clubs, though.
Oh, shit.
All right.
Ace of...
Nah, wait.
Hold on.
Jack of Three Leaves.
Let's go.
Jack of Three Leaves.
Kyle.
Kyle.
You want the good news or the bad news?
I want the good news.
I want the bad news.
The bad news is somebody did say it.
Oh, fuck.
No.
The good news is it's somebody whose shit I'm very curious to see.
Wait, that's the good news?
Oh, fuck.
I think we'll all want to see this.
Who is it?
No one said it.
What?
What was it?
Casanova The King of Hearts
Oh we were close
I said King of Diamonds
I said King of Spades
Alright Kyle
I'm not doing that
Yeah don't
Nerve wracking
That was nerve wracking
Yeah
A poop week bet?
I've had enough poop.
Do you lose or gain followers?
I think you gain.
I think you gain.
I think you gain the wrong type of followers.
Yeah.
I think it might just be you lose and gain.
But you gain more.
You gain more, yeah.
You gain more than you lose.
You swap some out, but you definitely gain more.
You definitely have a more interesting following.
Yeah.
Hey, man, I followed you for poop week.
Whatever happened?
Why are you posting gambling pics?
Yeah, you post just a regular tweet like, boo.
Where's the poop?
Get back to the poop.
We're here for poop.
Oh, man.
All right, what else we got?
We got average.
Do it.
Oh, no, you can't do that.
So you don't have an average.
So you're Titus.
Oh, yeah.
High Noon, guys.
Sip on summer flavors in the middle of winter.
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The Snowbird Pack is a winter exclusive,
so get it before the ice melts.
Track down the pack nearest you at highnoonspirits.com.
High Noon, let's go.
Let's go.
When's the Super Bowl?
The 11th?
Dude, Connections was a bitch today.
I didn't do it yet.
Don't tell me.
You want it.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
After the Super Bowl.
Okay.
Do you get connections or no?
I'm still doing it.
Still doing it.
What is it?
Brains in a blender.
Connections.
It's a fantastic game.
What is it?
On the New York Times app.
Yeah.
It's been the new wave.
I told you, I think.
How many games do you do a day?
Seven.
What is this connections game? What do you do a day? Like seven. What is this Connections game?
What do you do?
It gives you 16 words.
You have to place them in four groups of four.
Oh, I've seen you guys play this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can we do it?
It's been getting harder by the day, it feels like.
Can we play it?
Should we do today's?
We can pull it up.
Today I'm stuck.
So it's New York Times Connection, Stephanie?
Yeah, yeah.
Connections Unlimited.
It's my favorite game, and I think it's brilliant
I think it's perfect
I haven't done today's either so this will be fun
Let's do it
Okay
Okay
Can you zoom in if possible
Groups of four
Alright
Oh this is gonna fuck you up Kyle
Well you have it on your phone too
Oh yeah
That's perfect
Oh
Fool
I got one
Fool, con, dupe
And who's the
What's the last one?
Trick
Trick
Trick, yep
Oh
Okay
That was correct
Now this is where I'm stuck
Okay, alright
Alright, alright oh okay that was correct yeah this is where i'm stuck okay all right all right
don't skinny and scoop mean the same thing what's the skinny what's the scoop right
what's the word yeah oh what's the fourth one nice stephanie what it oh it could be if there's
a lot of decoys is that hello what's What's the boob? Would hello be the...
Scoop skinny.
The boob is throwing me off.
Can't without an apostrophe is throwing me off.
But wouldn't it be hello?
It's like a greeting?
No, I don't think so.
What's word?
What's skinny?
What's scoop?
I think that's too loose.
Maybe lean?
Lean skinny.
What's the skinny?
What's the word?
What's the scoop?
Giggle?
Is that something?
What's the giggle?
No.
Oh, boob dope. What's the word? What's the scoop? Giggle? Is that something? What's the giggle? No.
Oh, boob dope.
That's, yeah.
Doesn't that, a boob means a stupid bird, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Idiot.
So dope.
I don't know what else would go with it.
Shit.
Oh, this is a tough one.
This is tough.
Doug's already done it today, so he's making fun of us fuck you fucking Doug
Doug guess the card
Doug you got it all right
we're doing this
green of spades
nah he's safe
what is eggshell what does eggshell mean's safe. What is eggshell?
What does eggshell mean in any part?
I'm thinking walking on eggshells.
It's a type of white, right?
Baby's breath has blue, but eggshell, it's all different types.
Wouldn't it be different types of paint colors?
But there's nothing else that goes with eggshell.
Next mic is out.
Yeah, we need him.
Oh, wait. Next mic is out. Yeah, we need them. Oh, wait.
Next mic is on.
There we go.
Eggshell.
I definitely think skinny, dope, and scoop were all the same.
Boob, dope.
Some of these can be part of a multi-word phrase.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Slope, lean, now.
This hurts my brain.
Yeah.
Oh, this one's tough.
This is really...
Hold on.
Titus' mic is out now.
Oh, no. Titus' mic is out now. Oh, no.
Titus' mic is on.
Word and dope and...
Hello?
Word, dope.
Word, dope.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, slang words.
What, scoop?
Boob.
Lean.
Like old? No, don't do it. Don't do it. Lean. Like old?
No, don't do it.
Don't do it.
Lean is a...
Drug.
Slang word.
Word, dope, lean.
Okay.
Actually, can't you list something, like list to the left?
Are lean and list the same thing?
Is boob technically slang?
Oh, lean and list, yeah.
List, slope, and lean, lean i think are are then what's
the other scoop is that a direction what does list mean in this sense i think you can list
lazily to the left that's what if they didn't family star wars
scoop lean scoop would drive me nuts. We got to start firing.
No, no, no, no, because we only have four strikes.
It'll tell you if you're one away, which is very helpful.
No, that won't help us with the one word.
If you do scoop here, and then you tell it, and then it says you...
Are these parts of words?
What does can't mean without an apostrophe?
Oh, that means lean.
It does?
Yes.
Are we mispronouncing that?
That was my other question.
Can't.
Can't.
No.
No.
It's can't.
It's can't.
Yeah.
You're right.
He's right.
Yeah, you're right.
It's can't.
So slow, lean, can't, and list.
Yeah.
Can't.
Can't.
Oh. That's bad. Bingo. Good list. Yeah. Cunt. Cunt. Oh.
That's bad.
Bingo.
Cunt's gone.
Okay.
I think.
What's the scoop?
What's the skinny?
What's the word?
What's the.
Is it giggle?
What's the giggle?
No.
What's the.
Hello.
What's the.
It might just be hello.
What's the run, dude?
What's the giggle?
I think that. It's dope. That sounds like an old phrase. Why is it dope? What's the giggle? What's the move? What's the run, dude? What's the giggle?
It's dope.
That sounds like an old phrase.
Why is it dope? What's the giggle?
What's the word?
What's the skinny?
What's the scoop?
What's the dope?
Hello.
It's always to say hello.
Oh, it's dope?
It's dope.
It's dope, Ben.
It's dope.
What's the dope?
I've never fucking heard of that.
I'll be damned if it's dope.
Oh, wow.
We got it.
Wait, no, no.
We still have to get this one.
Wait, what?
We have to figure out what it is.
Don't do it.
Don't do it yet.
Eggshell.
Boob.
Walking on boob.
Giggle.
Hello.
Double letters on the inside.
It is double letters.
Oh.
That's pretty broad.
Yeah.
You can do that?
Yeah, they do weird shit.
Double letters followed by vowel.
It's usually something else. Yeah, the purple weird shit. Double letters followed by vowels.
Yeah, the purple line is usually the one that makes the least sense.
Yeah.
Double letters.
But it's still more specific than just double letters.
Yeah.
Exhale, boob.
Boob.
Hello. Hmm. I hate this game I mean what are we putting ourselves through
right now just just yes it's a minute all right it's double letters it's
spelled with an oh shit Oh shit. Fuck that.
Can we play a different one?
773. No there's an unlimited website. Run it back.
I want to do one more. It's a fun game.
I think it's like Wordle where
it's one a day. You can go to
Connections Unlimited.
Alright let me google that.
Connections Unlimited. We have that me Google that. Connections Unlimited.
We have that meeting at 2.
What's your best game, Kyle?
Yeah, which one do you rock at?
Standard crossword.
Yeah.
Did you ever have a Sudoku phase?
I never got into numbers.
I don't see numbers.
How far back do you guys want to go?
We've done a lot of them.
Yeah, I think we've done every single one.
I don't know if we'll...
So how far back do we need to go?
We can do it.
Just pick a random date.
All right. All right.
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
June 12th of last year.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
Okay. Heat, Jazz, Bucks. Oh, it's all last year. Okay. All right. Okay. Okay.
Heat, jazz, bucks.
Oh, it's all basketball teams.
Yeah.
Race car.
Nets.
There it is.
Bucks and nets.
Submit.
Kayak, race car.
Level.
Yep.
And...
Bomb.
Oh, yeah.
There's snow, rain, sleet, hail. This is an easy one. Oh, too easy. Easy... Bomb. Oh, yeah. There's snow, rain, sleet, hail.
This is an easy one.
Oh, too easy.
Easy.
Oh.
And these are all buttons on a keyboard.
Big brain boys.
Under a minute.
So it used to be easy.
Now I think they're...
Under a minute.
No problem.
That's the medium level, though.
We got to go hard.
Yeah, let's get hard.
I'm down to get hard, brother.
Let's do one more because then we got to go hard yeah let's get hard I'm down to get hard brother let's do one more extend we gotta spin our wheel yep we gotta see tech guy Andrew become CEO I can't wait for this it's gonna be like when brand
won Game of Thrones Stefan's gonna get so bad mad. All right. Famine, death. Small, wee. War.
Famine, death, war.
All right, he's right.
Small, wee, slight.
Yeah.
And minute.
Yep.
And minute.
And then war, conquest, famine.
And seltzer.
Is this just three- letter words down there?
Pad hat Pod
Mac
Well I think it's AirPod
MacBook
iPad
Oh yeah
Yeah
iPhone
Oh I would have gotten tripped up there
Wait wait wait
Hard
Copy
Hard knocks
Hard seltzer
Hard hat
Damn
We broke the game Broke the game Too easy Alright spin our wheel That was a tough game Wait, wait, wait. Hard. Copy, hard knocks, hard seltzer, hard hat. Damn.
We broke the game.
Broke the game.
Too easy.
All right, spin our wheel.
It was a tough game.
Jesus.
Too easy.
We're too smart.
Maybe we should be CEO.
We should all be CEO.
Yeah, the Yak should be CEO. All right.
All right, boys.
All right.
Good job, Stephanie.
Great job, Stephanie.
We'll see how you do tomorrow though
We should give her something hard tomorrow
Yeah let's fuck her up
Do you remember that video
The dude getting hit in his penis nuts
When he was skateboarding
It was like 2008
Find that Stephanie
Alright thank you everyone
Please subscribe
See everyone tomorrow
Good yakking it's a yak it's a yak Thanks, everybody.
See you tomorrow.
TJ's back on Thursday.
Don't forget.