The Yak - The Wheel Gets Some Wet Revenge | The Yak 12-21-22
Episode Date: December 21, 2022Wheel is JustYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Hello.
Whoa.
Hot mic.
I just was laughing because I don't know if you guys saw the text we just got from Kate.
She said, guys, I'm going to be so late.
I got way in the weeds with the hoagie dip.
Did not realize how long it would take to chop three pounds of deli meats.
She is.
Jesus Christ.
She is so committed to the show that she'll miss the show for the show.
For the show.
For the show.
Oh, she's...
What is it, deli meat?
Just remember, there's some haters who are unfounded,
but Kate cares about this show more than anyone else.
Yeah, she really does.
Heart and soul.
Heart and soul.
And I just said it in passing.
I was like, I've never had hoagie dip before.
She's like, I'll make it.
I'll make it tomorrow.
Got it.
Yeah.
TJ, speaking of this show, you had a little do-to-do yesterday?
You had to release a statement?
Yeah, basically, when we were adjusting the wheel yesterday to take the extra Kate off.
Remember on the name wheel?
Yeah, yeah.
I misclicked and took Jerry off, but I laid it on the opposite side of the wheel.
Oh, man.
Okay, dodged a bullet.
People got very upset, huh?
Why would they get upset?
Fishbowl Friday's going to rock.
Oh, it's going to be the best.
They were demanding a re-spin of some sort.
Fuck it, we'll spin twice today.
All right.
Holy shit.
Should we spin once now?
Spin one right now.
You're acting like a guy who brought an extra set of clothes.
No, I'm acting like a guy who ate some chili for breakfast. Oh, shit. Should we spin one now? Spin one right now. You're acting like a guy who brought an extra set of clothes. No, I'm acting like a guy who ate some chili for breakfast.
Oh, shit.
I got some farts in this.
You got a fart on deck?
Oh, no.
I don't.
We didn't lie to you yesterday.
Who were you heading for?
Oh, no.
Francis, you're in for wet.
That was perfect.
This is not traditional wet.
Oh, it's one person here has to get wet.
I have to get an EKG at 115.
Okay, you can get that wet.
You're not going to be.
It's in 10 minutes. I can't believe You can get that wet. You're not going to be... You're not going to... It's in 10 minutes.
I can't believe that just happened to you for...
Yeah, no, it's been a half to leave, like, now,
and I have no time to do anything else.
Okay.
EKG.
Yeah.
Well, let's just play it out.
You probably won't...
It probably won't land on you.
It won't land on you.
It won't land on you.
You're fine.
But the nervousness from the wheel might fuck up his...
This is just one person?
Yeah, one person.
Okay, I'll skip it.
One person has to get wet.
He'll skip the EKG.
I can't believe that just happened to you, Francis.
Yeah, that sucks.
That's okay.
I'm excited.
You've had good perspective over the last couple days, Francis.
Did you...
What's going on?
What do you mean?
You've been all cheery.
Have I?
Yeah.
It's the holiday season.
That's good to hear.
I feel like I'm just taking it all out on my wife.
I think he was pumped because the Rico Bosco affair took some shine off of the leaked rundown tapes.
Yes.
That did help. Like a solar eclipse.
It was really nice. That's all you got to do when
anything happens at barstool is just wait for the next thing to happen it's usually good usually in
about 12 hours yeah right when uh like francis came up to me i don't know if it was yesterday
or the day before and he was like when i was coming back to barstool you said that it would
be different and that people didn't really like care that much
and it and people's lives weren't like thrown into the mix at like the drop of a hat you lied
everybody is going through it still i think i said you said it was less tense and things have
been a little tense and it was like yeah in the in the pressure cooker of like the nadu and rico
situation yeah but i said that might be true but people don't care what time you get here in the pressure cooker of like the Nadeau and Rico situation. Yeah. But I said, that might be true,
but people don't care what time you get here in the morning anymore.
Yeah.
That's nice.
All good.
I just thought it was funny just coming up being like, you lied.
Add bill of goods.
Come back, Francis.
It'll be fine.
You'll have fun.
The water's warm.
No one cares.
Literally.
Well, it's not. It's actually cold in that shower. You'll have fun. The water's warm. No one cares. Literally. Well, it's not.
It's actually cold in that shower.
Nobody gets fired twice.
All right, so spin it because KB's got to leave.
So, KB, you're going to be fine.
No, he doesn't.
He was lying.
You were lying?
Yeah.
Oh, I don't want to get wet at all.
I was worried about your EKG.
He came up with EKG that quickly?
He's been going through the medical ringer.
Yes, I... I know what an EKG is. I know what I'm through the medical ringer. Yes, I...
I know what an EKG is.
I know, I'm saying...
You'll take an advantage of.
That's such a specific medical thing.
No, it's common.
Dude, wait until you hear about every other story he's told on this show.
I know.
They're all lies.
I don't want to get wet.
There's not a lot of people on this wheel.
What the fuck?
Put Zion and Brandon on.
They can do it remotely. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Before we do this, Big Cat,
we didn't lie to you yesterday
at all. You looked
good with the mustache. Oh, yeah. Then the
Whitworth pic. Can we pull up the
Whitworth pic? That was
I was riding high
off of the yak and everyone was
like, dude, you look good with your
jaw. Yeah. And then Andrew like, dude, you look good with your jaw. Yeah.
And then Andrew Whitworth tweeted out a picture.
Short cameraman.
And it's bad.
It's bad.
I skipped dinner last night.
Really?
I had to, dude.
Look at those chins.
Look at them. That's manipulated.
No, it's not. No, it's not.
No, that's not how you look.
Who was the camera man?
I don't know who took that picture, but they got me.
Zal was going out the door and he got one last shot.
I've been like tugging at my chin.
I swear to God yesterday morning.
Pull that back up.
I'm trying to help you out.
He's probably fatter than you, but I look at him as the bald guy.
So maybe you should try that.
Pull up his shirtless picture.
He went as Moana for Halloween. Is he jacked?
Yeah.
I thought Moana was a girl.
He went as the Moana guy.
The rock?
Yeah.
See, even there doesn't look as fat as your picture.
It doesn't look as fat.
I have to always be looking at the
camera exactly like this.
I'll fix it.
I'll see what I can do about this. Which is such bullshit.
You're like a girl on
Hinge. Yeah. All your pictures
are from up above.
A yo-yo. I'm a yo-yo guy.
I'm going to fix it, though. I'm going to get
in shape this year. I think
I'm going to make 2023 hard body year.
But, like, you're rich.
Just pay to get it sucked.
Sucked out, yeah.
That's what killed Donda.
Yeah.
Imagine if I died from liposuction.
Funny.
So funny.
Hilarious.
Die, like, afterwards, right?
Wait, I got an idea.
What if Big Cat had liposuction
and then he got to choose where that fat was put in the body of another someone gets a butt implant
from my fat yeah be way more embarrassing if you uh if it didn't work you had an allergic reaction
to it and ended up getting fatter yeah is that also hilarious if I died like what a what a
ridiculous way to go out
if you die can we make soap out of the fat
that they sucked out of you
yes yes
I want you all to take one of my
fingers and wear it as a necklace for the rest of time
it would be really cool
wouldn't it
actually you know what
if I died from liposuction
I give full permission to the yak
to cut my body into as many pieces
as you want and auction it off.
Think about how much money you could make.
The head would go for a lot.
Yeah, the head.
A lot.
Put it all in like... Yeah, and I'm talking when they do... When a team wins a big game
and they cut up some of the grass, I'm saying you can make the pieces small.
Cut up the net?
Yeah.
My foot could be like 100 pieces, just skin.
No, but the head has to be sold whole just to see who is the true highest bidder of the
act listeners.
That's some cartel shit.
Yeah, that is.
Can you taxidermy a human head such that it is preserved without becoming shrunken and disheveled?
Yeah.
I think so.
What about Ted Williams' head?
Is it?
Ted Williams had his head in one of those.
Biogenically frozen.
Yeah, and then they like, I think someone forgot to pay the electric bill and they all.
It soured.
I'm pretty sure that's sad.
Oh, man.
Somebody check Ted.
Bad twist. I fixed the photo
oh look at that
damn
it's really nice
how'd you do that
how'd you know how to do that
awesome
Andrew Whitworth is as close as I've seen to
an NFL player looking like Santa Claus
yeah
he's so jolly looking he looks kind as I've seen to an NFL player looking like Santa Claus. Yeah.
He's so jolly looking.
Yeah.
He looks kind.
Big ass dude.
He should grow his shit out.
He should grow his beard out.
I would if I had the opportunity around this time.
Big white beard.
Big fat guy.
Dude, he was 40 years old playing in the NFL.
He was good?
Yeah.
Playing line.
Slamming bodies. I know.
Tom Brady's a little pussy about being a 45-year-old.
He doesn't want to get hit.
Andrew Whitworth was slamming, bumping uglies.
What a G.
All right, let's spin this wet wheel.
Yeah, let's do it.
One person is going to get wet for the rest of the show.
This is Eliminator, right?
Yes.
Oh, man, I wish it wasn't me, guys, that got dry, but I'll have to accept it.
That's such bullshit.
And we will do another wheel spin later on in the show to make right.
Oh, no.
All right, Sassy.
Way to be, Sass.
Let's go, Sass.
Me and you, bro.
Fuck yeah, Sass, dude.
I mean, it would be objectively funny if Francis... Hey, why is Kate not on here? Oh, yeah, Kate... Oh, shit. We're go, Sass. Me and you, bro. Fuck yeah, Sass, dude. I mean, it would be objectively funny if Francis
Hey, why is Kate not on here?
Oh, shit. We're back in the same problem.
TJ, what are we doing?
She's coming.
You got to restart the whole thing, TJ.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that hurts me.
I hate that. I hate that, yeah.
It's going to be you.
Yeah, no, that hurts me.
Big time, Sass. I don't mind. The wheel is just. We'll either do it or it won't. It's going to be you. That hurts me. Big time, Sass.
I don't mind.
The wheel is just. It will either do it or it won't.
It's going to land on me.
Is Sass going with the flow?
What?
What the fuck?
Alright.
This is going to be bullshit.
This is going to be such bullshit.
I love this.
I love it. I love it.
Oh, my God.
And I woke up today.
I've never been drier.
I want to keep it.
Yeah, I'm very dry right now.
Who can do?
Whatever, man.
I was going to say something that would have been bad.
Francis!
Way to go, buddy.
Happy for you guys.
This is going to be an all-time.
Why'd you fucking open your stupid mouth, Roan?
I didn't notice Kate wasn't on here.
I guess she's not.
Get there.
Roan, good call.
Good call.
You're just.
Roan's just.
Roan does.
You know what?
We all know what's going to happen with this.
AB's going to have to go to ZKG sopping wet.
Oh.
No, I had to open my fat mouth.
We know exactly what's going to happen here.
I feel really bad.
Everybody knows what's going to happen on this one.
I feel really bad, but oh.
Everybody knows what's going to happen on this one.
Sass is going with the flow.
Sass.
Sass.
Uh-oh. Sass will never go with the flow. Sass. Sass. Uh-oh.
Sass will never go with the flow again.
Oh, no.
Best of seven.
You want it to land on you?
Yeah, first one to four gets to stay dry.
He's like Oh my god
Alright Sass
You got one
You need three more Sass
Got this bro
Stop
Alright one to one
One to one
Oh man All right, one to one. One to one. Oh.
Oh, man.
Oh, Sass, way to go, way to go.
How are you feeling, man?
So mad he won't talk.
Three, Sass. Let's go, Sass.
Let's go, Sass.
A victory lap.
Let's go.
Yeah.
Never been a... Thank everyone.
Thank all the people for your victory.
Me too.
Me too.
This is like the Cleveland Cavaliers.
Oh, yeah.
No.
Breathe.
Just breathe, man.
Oh, fuck. No, he's good. He's good. No. Breathe. Just breathe, man. Oh, fuck.
No, he's good.
He's good.
He's good.
Oh, game seven.
I thought you said he was good.
Sass blew a 3-1 lead.
Sass blew a 3-1 lead.
Could it be?
Could it be?
Sass. Sass.
Yeah!
Sass had so...
That is the most just outcome.
TJ made the mistake.
He pays for it.
Sass had so much anger.
He was about to spew.
Oh, wasn't he mad?
My heart was actually pounding through my chest.
I was like, I don't want this.
It sucks. It's so
bad. I haven't seen you that
on edge since I was
messing with the rubber duckies at the golf course.
Oh my god, that was all time.
Look at TJ.
Oh.
His fault. It's right at the
beginning of the show, too. We usually do it towards
the end and it's freezing. Who's got their
baby in the...
I saw that tot, that little tyke.
Beautiful baby, but just the baby experiencing wetness
is one of their first days on Earth.
Whose baby is that?
Should we bring a baby on the show?
Have we ever had a baby on the show?
That would be the youngest person ever on the yak.
They could be legendary.
Yeah.
Having talking to the fart microphone. He's getting legendary. Yeah. I've been talking
to the fart microphone.
It's getting wet.
I was going to say
we should have
just a wheel up
saying like,
baby lives,
baby dies.
Hey, dude,
look,
we're about to...
TJ,
you got to go
tell that guy.
We're going to need
that baby.
This is bad.
You're going to have
to chop that baby in half.
You're not going
to like this.
We're going to split
your baby.
Wheel is just,
brother.
Yak chat's going
to be pissed. Your choice, though. Yeah. You want to going to like this. We're going to split your baby. Wheel is just, brother. Yak Chat's going to be pissed.
Your choice, though.
Yeah.
You want to disobey the yak?
Fine.
That's good.
I'm happy for TJ
because now he gets there.
I did.
It's crazy that there were...
I think someone's shitting.
Oh, no.
Someone's shitting.
It's crazy that he had
to release a statement.
I didn't even know
it happened.
I didn't either.
Oh.
That air is so much thicker.
Oh, yeah.
I had no idea that that happened until he released the statement on the Yak Instagram.
I was like, wait, what?
It's Frank and Doug's.
Sitting on each other's laps.
Booping between each other's legs.
Frank's tweet yesterday.
We'll have to wait until TJ gets back.
Jack Mack posted it. It's tweet yesterday. We'll have to wait until TJ gets back. Jack Mack posted it.
It was all-time Frank.
His dad?
His dad.
Applebee's.
I thought they said
the bones.
Another baby just
entered the office.
What?
There's two babies now.
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the hell is going on?
What?
Another baby.
You got a second baby.
Is Glennie having an OnlyFans baby show?
Oh, no.
Absolutely.
Kyle is ready for an eval.
Yeah, exactly.
Go diagnose one of them.
Yeah.
Glennie!
What the fuck is going on, dude?
Is she like a...
Are these like breastfeeding only fan?
Oh!
No, bro, that would be so fucked up.
No, but you know that people like it.
No, I'm beating Glennie's ass if that's what he's doing.
He's a pedophile if that's what he's doing.
Rune, you say fucked up, I say progressive.
Can I say something that I've kept tucked away for a very long time?
I once was on a bachelor party and the stripper that we hired to come to the house was able to produce breast milk.
Did you?
And she did.
Okay.
And someone drank it.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm not proud of any of this. It wasn't me. It was you. It lot of nutrients. And someone drank it. Okay. Yeah, I'm not proud of any of this.
It wasn't me.
It was you.
It was not me.
The way you just said that.
It was not me.
It was you.
Now realize what I've done to myself.
People will think that I was the one who drank it.
It was not me.
I'm confident.
Everyone was drinking it for sure.
I'm confident in going to bed tonight knowing I have not drank it.
A couple Bud Lights.
I'm drinking breast milk for sure.
Hank did by accident once
Bar bombs in the
Hank made a cereal of breast milk once
What?
That's exactly what it is
His aunt was breast feeding and had it in the refrigerator
And uh
He just grabbed the milk
Are they leaving the babies behind? Maybe that dude's the babysitter
So these are just new moms that are on OnlyFans?
There's definitely a huge...
She's probably raking in the dough.
I mean, dude, Ken Bone.
C-section star.
Ken Bone.
Yeah.
What does he do?
Ken Bone.
Yeah.
He masturbates to pregnant women.
He's on OnlyFans?
No.
He's got a Reddit account or something, and they dug up his Reddit history.
And it was like... The comment was like, oh, pregnant woman is like a beautiful whale.
He called them human submarines.
Human submarines.
That's right.
Yeah.
And boom.
Bro, what the hell is going on here?
Yeah, something.
This is deeply unsettling.
I don't like it.
To find out that this is a subgenre on OnlyFans.
I don't like it at all.
People pay to watch baby.
Well, that's like the only loophole on YouTube to have nudity is breastfeeding.
Yes.
Yoga.
Yoga as well.
Yoga.
Come on.
And isn't it chiropractor too?
Yeah, naked chiropractor.
Yeah, who does the, he just cracks like huge titted women's tacks.
That's genius.
Yeah.
Well, they probably need it the most, honestly.
There's two babies.
Do you think they're the.
No, this one has, this one's.
No.
Why is everyone interested?
That one isn't.
Yeah.
They're taking the babies out.
Oh, he's wet.
He's so wet.
Oh, well, they're removing their baby.
Oh, God, TJ.
We don't want our baby affiliated with that baby.
This OF baby. TJ, come on in, brother. He's wet. Oh, well, they're removing that baby. Oh, God, TJ. We don't want our baby affiliated with that baby. This OF baby.
TJ, come on in, brother.
He's wet.
Yeah, pretty wet.
Yeah, he's very wet.
Oh, he's dripping.
Ew, no.
Good job, TJ.
Good job, TJ.
Wheel is just.
Thank you, TJ.
Are those compression shorts?
Something.
I'd love to see him slide in a third right now.
Imagine if TJ could rig the wheel and this all has been like a simulation.
That'd be crazy.
Like all the fans are in on it too.
Yeah.
That'd be quite the...
I would be pissed.
We're getting into...
I think I would just be like scared.
Quigs territory right now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you remember when they found out that um bob i think is his name
was really into going down on women young they called him oh yeah he's tongue sound bob yeah
was it i thought it was munch town box no it's tongue's town bob ah both good yeah he's from
young he'll answer to any of them so he and Quiggs used to be thick as thieves
Yeah
Just munching box all over New York
And I always thought that Quiggs was probably a big munch boxer
No, he was an ass eater
They did a little
Oh, is that right?
Yeah
It was like Frank and Doug's on top of each other
Yeah, right
Bob would start him
Quiggs would finish him
It was like a DP video
But they're both not like a DP,
like not Dave Portnoy, but double penetration.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, Quiggs was like his closer.
Did the trumpets.
And then finished him off.
After Tongues Down has been giving you like seven innings.
In the box.
Just work in the box.
Everywhere. High heat.
Definitely. Pain in the
corners. Yeah, pain in the corners.
Throwing some throwaway pitches.
Guys, this baby is really just
fucking me up right now. You just never seen a baby
before? No, just the idea that
the baby's parent is on Glennie's podcast
right now.
I just texted Glennie, what the hell is going on?
I'm not fucking with this at all.
Babies are actually awesome. Yeah, but if Glennie
walks out with a milk mustache...
Yeah, that'd be a problem. Babies
are cool, and then when they like...
Who just brought him Oreos? I don't understand
what's going on. No, shut the fuck up.
Oh, man, a blender goes in there. What the fuck up. Oh, man.
A blender goes in there.
What the fuck is he doing?
Protein shakes.
Can we get a live look?
This baby needs to know what's going on.
Might not.
I don't mean to be this guy, but I wouldn't film the kids.
No, no, no.
We're not going to film the kids.
No, we're talking about inside the room.
Yeah.
But the kids have been in the background of all of our shit.
Can we hear them?
Why is he doing
the majority of the talking?
Also, I don't really like
this new set for Glennie.
It kind of doesn't work.
It was like she didn't know
what she was coming on to.
It was very weird.
Who booked her?
This is before they're taping.
If you don't do it.
Not another hot mic.
We're just 100% to blame for that yeah yeah yeah i always think i think that that is so like invasive that we yeah it's probably
fucked up so bad right although it is good promotion it is yeah it's like everyone wants
to go watch only fair yeah now oh this is that's how you talk shit like that's how you get into
podcasts you talk shit first yeah right oh we got big get into podcasts. You talk shit first. Yeah, right. Oh, we got Big T in a Santa costume.
What did he say recently about...
He had a hot take about a group of people.
Italian-Americans, I bet.
Oh, yeah, Italian-Americans.
What the fuck did he say about Italian-Americans?
I don't know.
They make bad movies or something?
I don't like that.
Did he talk about spaghetti westerns?
You know, Big Hats around himself.
Yeah, I have Italian children.
This is not fair.
And Ferroni.
The Ferronis are close with the Ciceros and the Girardis, bro.
I don't know what the fuck he's talking about. You want me to grab Gunny and ask him?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just ask him.
We just need to get a little bit of details
because we are not a show that can move on.
All right, time to bring the baby in.
We don't...
We need satisfaction.
Because I just want to know what the fuck's going on
because I see all this shit in the news about pedophilia
Close the door, close the door
Sit down, sit down
What?
What the hell's going on?
Why do you have multiple babies in the office right now?
One of my guests brought her a baby
Is that okay with you?
Is the baby going to be on the podcast?
Could you lower the camera?
I don't know if she wants the baby on camera by the way
It's like behind me, sorry
But she came into our office I don't know if she wants the baby on camera, by the way. It's like behind me. Sorry. But she came into our office.
I don't know, dude.
She brought a nanny.
She brought a baby into the office.
So that's the nanny.
It's very hard to get all of Glennie and none of the baby.
So what?
Well, I don't know.
She doesn't want the baby on camera.
Okay, all right.
We won't put the baby on camera.
Why is she bringing the baby to the office then?
She's OnlyFans?
She's actually a legend.
Evilovia.
She's a... Oh, hell yeah. So what's the... Have you been. She's OnlyFans? She's actually a legend. Evilovia. She's a...
Oh, hell yeah.
So what's the...
You been doing any baby content or no?
Holy shit, I know her.
She pornography?
Yeah, you know me.
I know her.
Pornographic?
She's very famous.
She's in the OnlyFans game.
That woman?
She's like one of the biggest.
Yeah, she's a porn legend.
If not the biggest out right now.
Wow.
All right, well, go get them, Glennie.
I gotta head in there.
So it's not breastfeeding on OnlyFans. No, I get them, Glennie. So it's not
breastfeeding on
OnlyFans.
No, I'm familiar.
You were worried
about it.
Make sure you
find out about
it.
Ask that.
First episode in
January.
Find out about it.
Yeah, there we go.
Good promo.
Glennie's outfit's
awesome.
Yeah, it is.
That's just
comfortable.
Red pants,
crocs,
tickled and pink.
Glennie's a great
giggler.
Yeah.
What do they mean they don't want the baby on camera, dude?
They brought it into our fucking...
That baby's going to be able to watch its own conception one day.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
I hate this.
Would you watch your own conception?
Hell no.
No, that's the two of my...
I would watch KB's conception.
I would, too.
I understand not wanting your kids on camera, but all babies look the same.
Oh, yeah.
You can't tell a baby the difference.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What about the other?
Why is there multiple, though?
There's a damn gang of babies.
Oof.
Yeah, there was a second baby.
We're getting inundated by babies.
Have you ever talked to Glennie about his dating life?
Of course.
A little bit, yeah.
I think he's actually asked that I don't talk about it anymore
because I was spilling too many beans.
He does well.
He's really good.
Yeah, he does well.
Yeah.
I was talking about his shuffle that he had going on
and how he was moving out,
and I don't think they all knew about
that they were being shuffled that they just thought that they were having a one-on-one
experience and he kept on just going away like mrs doubtfire for like half an hour
he came back with a pie on his face hello well balls really does live the best life. Like, he has, he's maximized what celebrity we have at Barstool to the absolute most.
He's getting nicer, too.
Yeah, he is.
Used to eat a little bit of a mean streak in him before, and now he's just a sweet guy.
Well, I think that was also the mean streak was a little bit because the internet was very mean to him for a while.
Yeah, but he ate the meanness in a way that no one else has.
Right.
He fucking just
internalized it what one burrito at a time a burger come on brother yeah he bounced back yeah
because there was a time where people were just hating on him for no reason like viciously and
those were like grown men like like 55 year old grown men yes Yes, just hating Glenny Balls.
I've met some of them in the wild, and they're all over 50.
Guys that don't like Glenny Balls. It's such bullshit that he can hang out with Caleb and I can't.
Imagine going home to your wife and family and being like,
your wife's like, how's your day?
It was fine, but fucking Glenny did a fucking other burger review.
It's me off.
That's exactly who they are. We got to meet Riff Raff this weekend. You know I love Riff Raff. Fine, but fucking Glennie did a fucking other burger review. It's me off.
That's exactly who they are.
I got to meet Riff Raff this weekend.
You know I love Riff Raff.
They watch every single piece of content that he puts out, leaves a comment, secretly love him, but leave a hateful comment, and they're over 50.
Can somebody explain to me the name Booze and Burgers? It should be Booze and Burgers.
What's Booze and Burgers? The burger is the name Booze and Burgers? It should be Booze and Burgers. What's Booze and Burgers?
The burger is drinking.
Yeah.
Booze and Burgers.
Yeah, it should be Booze and Burgers.
Space N.
Well, I think it's N with a...
It's Booze and comma.
It's B-O-O-Z-I-N.
Oh, yeah, that makes no sense.
You're wrong.
But I think, well, maybe the, not to get too deep in the syntax,
and you can correct me, Francis, if I'm wrong,
but I think that he's saying that these are burgers while you're boozing.
So these are the burgers you have when you're boozing.
Boozing burgers.
Wait, how is it written?
Show the logo.
E-O-O-Z-I-N.
Comma.
Comma.
Is comma?
Apostrophe, apostrophe, apostrophe.
Boozing burgers.
It does make you think that he's drinking the burgers.
These are booze in.
I thought the burgers are drinking.
All right, booze in burgers.
Yeah.
I agree with Big Cat.
I think it sounds like he's drinking liquefied burgers.
Yeah, I never saw it like that.
You're right.
It should be spaced.
Just booze with an E.
Or it could be booze and apostrophe burgers.
Yes.
He used to have like a beer with them with the burgers.
He does.
He does still.
No, he stopped at some point.
He stopped.
Well, he stopped doing it altogether.
The rough and rowdy, I learned this.
It's rough and then capital N apostrophe and I would have put the
apostrophe before the N
why?
well you know
typically when you do a contraction like that
you start with the first letter of the word
and then you put your apostrophe
and omit whatever is after that
alright dork
to me this would be rough not rowdy or rough nary rowdy or something.
What other N words do you know?
You're in Brandon's seat, brother.
I mean, yes, phonetically it sounds better with the N,
but really it should be rough A apostrophe rowdy.
So what are some other...
What was that?
Dude, that wasn't good for you.
I know that much.
What did that sound?
What was that?
No.
What is that from?
Was that Homer Simpson?
Oh.
Yeah.
What are some other businesses that have that same, like, steak and shake?
How do they write it?
You're right.
I don't know.
In-N-Out, how do they write it?
It might be an apostrophe.
I think they're hot.
Yeah, wait.
You've got to see it.
They're hyphens, right?
In-N-Out might be hyphens.
Yeah, where's the apostrophe on In-N-Out?
In-N-Out's steak and shake.
Oh, Francis is right.
Yeah, see, what about shake and bake?
Chicken.
This is really getting in the weeds.
I like it.
I love the weeds.
I was just validated by both.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, you got it.
Oh, my God.
You were right.
I hadn't seen other ones, and that was my thought.
Excellent syntax once again, Francis. Damn looks like he's done it again fucking loser he's the nerd let's talk about the pizza hut oh yeah yeah do it about pizza hut
the newest thing at pizza hut not a pizza at all introducing pizza hut melts made just for you
and no one else pizza hut took their thin and crispy.
Wait, look at this.
Look at the thin and crispy right there.
It's on your prep sheet.
You got one?
Thin, apostrophe, and crispy.
Oh, my God.
We're surrounded by it.
It's crazy that it's everywhere,
and you don't even recognize where it's right in front of you.
I'm taking a W on this.
It's a massive W for you and for Pizza Hut
because they took their
thin and crispy crust loaded it with their favorite toppings and cheese folded it over and baked it to
melty perfection then they serve it up with your favorite dipping sauce for just 6.99 so good you
won't want to share it so don't melts are the solo meal that comes in four mouth-watering recipes,
satisfying your cravings whenever
and wherever you feel like it.
Thanks to Pizza Hut Melts, you never have
to compromise ever again.
After all, you can't spell melts
without me. Enough for two,
price for one. Try new Pizza Hut
Melts now for just
$6.99.
Love it. Can't have Pizza the Hut, so don just $6.99. Love it.
Can't out-pizza the Hut.
So don't even try.
It's not a challenge.
They're just telling you straight up, you can't.
Straight up.
Don't waste your time.
I had a buddy that tried once.
Out-pizza the Hut?
Yeah.
Who was it, Papa John?
Yeah.
He got so frustrated. You know what happens when he gets frustrated.
Pizza Hut buffet is elite.
Do you know what they call Papa John down in Mexico?
Andre Juan.
That makes a lot of sense.
Do they translate Burger King to different nationalities?
Obviously, they do the Royale with cheese and shit like
that, but the name of the restaurant
and here's Kate with the
hoagie dip. Oh, let's go Kate.
Kate looks frazzled.
No kidding. Oh man.
Hoagie dip.
Kate, you have to go get wet.
Did you guys get wet yet?
It's just you.
You can do it at the end. No, you don't actually to go get wet. Did you guys get wet yet? No, it's just you. It's just you. Really?
You can do it at the end.
No, you don't actually.
TJ got wet.
How was your morning, Kate?
Okay.
It was a whole thing.
You've never looked more like a mom.
Is that bag of Lay's open already?
I was like, I'm just going to come in here halfway and interrupt the whole flow of the show with my stupid.
No, no.
You brought hoagie dip, though.
We just didn't.
We were talking syntax, just so you know.
You saved the show.
Yeah, you are a rescue.
Okay, I even went to Wawa, and I got you guys Wawa iced teas.
I got chips.
I got tasty cakes.
We're doing like a nice hoagie dip.
Philly?
Did you drive south?
No, but there is. It's not near me, near me, but I went to Wawa. Tasty Cakes. We're doing a nice hoagie dip treat. Do you drive south?
No, but there is. It's not near me, but I went to a while.
I overdid it.
Oh, not you, Kate.
Wait, what are those? Are those Tasty Cakes?
I got Holiday Tasty Cakes for everybody.
It's like a little...
This is my Aunt Rita. I channeled my Aunt Rita.
I'm like, what would she do for lunch? A little holiday
treat. Hoagie dip.
Dude, I got an Aunt Rita. Shout out to Aunt Rita.
They just do it right. Yeah, they really do.
It's a fact.
Is yours in the hospital with blood clots in her lungs?
No.
But she
rolled down the stairs recently.
She's going around the Rita. Wait a minute. You could have said
fell down the stairs. You said rolled. That sounds good. That sounds fun and recently. She's going around the readers. Wait a minute. You could have said fell down the stairs.
You said rolled.
That sounds good.
That sounds fun and intentional.
She's very tiny.
She's very tiny.
Wait, did you guys see what Sass just did?
Oh, this whole thing?
Just make a little boat?
Do you have 170 IQ?
Just make a little boat, yeah.
He just saw a piece of paper and saw a boat in it?
What the fuck?
That actually didn't really come out that well.
Actually, we used to make those, and sometimes when it was raining, we'd put them in the street.
And I had, man, it's kind of fucked up.
But my little brother, we would race them down these streams, and one day it went under a gutter, and he went to look.
I don't know.
He was talking about this clown or something.
That was obvious from the first word he said.
Oh, you were the only one that got it.
They started laughing when they were supposed to.
You were the only one that picked up.
I never read the book or saw the movie, so I don't know.
That movie fucked.
He has Stephen King tattoos.
Oh, man.
That movie, the first one.
I watched it way too young.
Way too young.
Tim Curry, scary guy.
Yeah.
I've never seen him.
Really scary.
Wait, Cade, is that a baguette? What are you doing in that bag? Way too young. Tim Curry, scary guy. Yeah. I've never seen him. Really scary.
Wait, Cade, is that a baguette?
What are you doing in that bag?
Baguette.
You got to keep the lettuce separate so it's fresh.
You can't have wilted lettuce in your hoagie dip. Is that an uncut baguette?
Do you want a table or something, Kate?
I'll bring in with this folding table.
Hold up, Kate.
Yeah.
What if it's just loose in the bag?
I'm concerned that it may be.
But I'm not looking.
Okay, don't look.
I wore gloves and everything, like a real kitchen. We don't care.
Okay.
That's good.
We have to, though, figure out, someone pointed out on Twitter that the fishbowl, if we put it on the ground, it's just going to be all backwash.
Oh, yeah.
Yes, there's actual physics.
I was like, what's the longest straw you can possibly drink out of?
And there's like physics to it.
You have to get a suction going like you're siphoning gas.
Right.
So we got to figure out.
I was thinking maybe even suspend the fishbowl from the ceiling.
Oh, that's not a bad idea.
Just have everything fall with gravity.
Then you can plug it with your finger.
That Cliff DeMartino who's always interacting with the act, he is sending.
He owns a pair of your tits.
He owns a pair of my tits.
The painting I smushed on my chest.
Thank you.
Whoa.
He bought a ton of like, you know when you drink out of the beer helmets, those straws?
Yeah.
He brought like 50 feet of that.
And so it's like, what if we put, somebody said from the third floor down.
Oh.
But I don't know how that would work.
Yeah, all right, so that's what we need.
We need to suspend it.
We could all have our individual fishbowl, too.
Man, it's not as fun.
What are we doing here?
Do you mind if I ask?
Hoagie dip.
We're going to make a rule.
If you're going to eat the hoagie dip,
just don't do it in the microphone.
We take turns.
I know people don't like that,
and we've been doing it a lot.
Yeah, we've almost eaten every episode.
Every meal I eat is on the yak.
Yeah.
Yeah, so we'll have to figure out the physics of this.
Yeah, suspend it, and then just hoses,
and then you've got to plug the hose.
Are we talking physics?
Yeah, because the...
Want me to call my dad?
Yes.
Someone pointed out correctly
that if we put a fishbowl on the ground with long straws,
we'll just be drinking backwash the whole time.
Yeah.
The entire time.
That would be disgusting.
Yeah.
Well, let's do it then.
I'm down.
What do we have to figure out?
We have to figure out, I think we've got to suspend the fishbowl from the ceiling,
and then we all have hoses with nozzles that we can turn on and off.
We could probably just have it on a big shelf.
We could probably just move that shelf
into the middle. Yeah, into the middle.
We're all just going to huddle around it?
No, we're going to sit in our seats.
What about, so we'll still have to suck it
up and over. That'll be the tough part,
I think. But if we have the turn off thing,
you'll be fine. I think they
sell this contraption at like Spencer's
Gifts. Oh, really?
I'll find one on Amazon. I'll buy some tubing.
We need to cut the top off and attach a fish tank.
Yeah.
We need an engineer is what we need.
We don't need a physicist.
This is going to take a long time.
I think we can figure this out pretty quick.
We just got to get the hoses.
Right.
We need Lex Friedman's engineer.
You know what?
We'll be part of the episode.
That will make it even better.
Instruction.
Yeah. Trying to figure it out. Or we what? We'll be part of the episode. That will make it even better. Instruction. Yeah.
Trying to figure it out.
Or we could all bring one in and have a competition.
Kate is...
I understand why you were late.
Yeah.
It escalated so quickly.
I started this at 9 in the morning.
Jesus Christ.
Slide the table in a little bit.
Slide the table closer to the yak early.
Okay.
So I suggest that you grab a little plate, grab some baguette,
put a little hoagie dressing on your baguette,
then put a little hoagie stuff on top,
and then put one or two peppers on it.
Oh, right on top?
Yeah.
That's it.
Go ahead, KB.
You diving in?
You going just first?
You just going first?
I'm so happy KB's eating again, bro.
You say what you want about his mental state.
But at least he's eating food again.
Yeah.
I remember for about six months he didn't eat food.
Yeah, that's true.
L.A., KB.
I always bring him up.
Yeah, he just wasn't eating food.
He was not eating food.
He became a... He's a mentor. He was mean. Yeah, he just wasn't eating food. He was not eating food. He became a...
He's a mentor.
He was mean.
Yeah, he became a mentor.
He really was.
He was eating protein blocks like he was in Snowpiercer.
Oh, man, that part really was tough.
In Snowpiercer?
When they showed what those were made of.
What are they made of?
Oh, no spoilers.
Spoil, don't spoil.
You might see the Bong Joon-ho movie from 2013, Snowpiercer.
A bug, Sass.
They're made of bugs.
Fuck.
What?
Cockroaches.
I ate a scorpion once.
Really?
Yeah.
You survived?
Yeah.
Sass, you should see that movie, though.
That is a very good movie.
I know, I've heard it's very good.
You should see it.
It's phenomenal.
You should totally see it.
I just watched it on a plane ride from L.A.
You watched a train movie on a plane?
Yeah.
Crazy.
Threw myself for a loop there.
I once watched a plane movie on a train.
What?
Cast away?
You ever watch a plane movie on a plane and they give you the warning?
Runaway train.
No.
They say planes crash in this movie.
No shit.
They actually.
Yeah.
What movie did you watch?
World War Z.
Ah.
Why did they give a warning?
Just because.
It's like there's videos of planes-
In case it comes true.
Exploding and crashing.
Oh, on the plane.
When you're on a plane.
That's good.
Yeah.
Talk to us.
I'm afraid.
I haven't tried it.
Oh, no.
Very good.
Yay.
You got to do a lot of dip to bread ratio.
You need a lot of dip because the bread is very thick.
Kate just looks like a suburban mom right now.
That's what I feel.
Right after a soccer practice.
Yeah.
You got to have a lot of the peppers.
Come on over, Kate.
You got to have the peppers.
Did you try the peppers?
I like the old lady in Wedding Singer who wants to watch you enjoy the meatballs.
I'm looking at KB like, how are you?
You remind me of a lady I met in South Philly
on New Year's
about four years ago
on 2 Street
who just had like
17 soups in her house
and she was just like
herding people in
to try the soup.
Just people coming in
off the street in South Philly
trying her soups.
She had a minestrone.
Ooh.
Love a good on a cold day.
Minestrone wedding.
That's my number one.
Minestrone.
Yeah.
Really?
You like minestrone?
Numero uno is what I just said.
Seriously?
I don't love minestrone.
That can't be your number one.
That's my number one.
That can't be your number one.
Out of a crock, it's one of the best.
For example, you can't have French onion soup,
an individualized portion,
out of a big-ass crock of French onion soup.
Every one has to be individualized
with the cheese melted on top.
But minestrone, you could go out of a big-ass crock of French onion soup. Everyone has to be individualized with the cheese melted on top. But minestrone,
you could go out of a
big ass crock like that.
I'm just trying to buy
these boys some time.
Yeah, I know.
You're doing well.
If no one else
is getting hoagie dip,
I'm just going to wait.
I'm going to wait.
AB, wait until everybody
eats until you get second.
Oh my God, KB.
What type of shit is this?
Hey, let him go, man.
Remember when everybody...
Sure, he's eating.
That's good. Yeah, this is big. Yeah. When everyone of shit is this? Hey, let him go, man. Remember when everybody- Sure, he's eating. That's good.
Yeah, this is big.
Yeah.
Remember when everyone had Chick-fil-A?
Who got three sandwiches or something?
Oh, well-
What?
Youngstown Bob had a whole head.
Yeah, and Dave went to-
He actually went to Glennie's desk and went through his trash.
Really?
This is discrimination.
Who else?
YP, Smitty. Who else? YP, Smitty.
Who else had a YP?
I forgot about that.
Chick-fil-A gate.
Every time we have food in the office, I feel like it's a test.
Yeah.
I get the smallest portion.
Yeah.
I wasn't even here for the first time.
Yeah, it was a big.
I think the second time, Brandon got two.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Also, I can't remember who bought it, but was it Chick-fil-A's guys?
Like, you got to over-order.
Yeah.
Like, you have to make it so outrageously big of an order that you can't, you know, have that happen.
Look at the hoagie dip.
Hey.
Is that your recipe?
It's my Aunt Rita's.
Oh, right.
Sorry.
Yeah.
Not with the blood clots.
No.
Different one.
That's his.
That's your Aunt Rita's blood clot in her lungs. Totally different Aunt Rita's. Oh, right. Sorry. Yeah. Not with the blood clots. No. Different one. That's your Aunt Rita with blood clot in her lungs.
Totally different.
Aunt Rita.
Ooh.
TB, when are you going to West Virginia?
That was phenomenal.
I'm going to North Carolina tomorrow.
Ooh.
Who's here tomorrow?
I am.
I will not be here.
I have to go.
I'm here.
It's my mom's birthday.
Oh.
You guys never replied to that game I wanted to play.
What game?
What was it?
TJ, can you pull it up?
I texted it to everyone.
I got no replies.
I sensed no one wanted to play it.
Oh, I saw the video.
I never watched it.
What?
That's what it was.
I ignored the message.
Kyle, what are your black uncle duties this Christmas?
Do you know Roger Goodell's a black uncle?
Yeah.
Everyone was telling me, yeah.
What's a black uncle?
Kyle, Roger Goodell.
Yeah, he's a black uncle.
Does that mean you have a...
Black nephew.
Yeah.
Is that right?
Yeah.
That's so cool.
Why?
Why?
Cool.
Just that your nephew knows his uncle.
It's cool.
Oh, man.
I thought you were going to try to get out of it.
Yeah, you went deeper.
You guys have me pegged for someone who's afraid.
Yeah, the show's going to end.
This is a game I wanted to play, and no one replied.
Oh, is that a family that always gives hundreds of dollars?
No.
Oh!
They're mousetraps.
Yeah, we should play this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We should play this.
It actually doesn't seem that hard.
Yeah, you could just avoid the mousetrap. Oh, no, they're blindfolded, though. Yeah, but you just slide your hand, and you're could just avoid the mousetrap.
Oh, no, they're blindfolded, though.
Yeah, but you just slide your hand, and you're going to avoid the mousetraps.
Oh, that was exciting.
Maybe you have to actually go straight down.
Yeah, you can't slide your hand.
You're just like a hungry, hungry hippo.
Have you seen the one where people get in a line and you have a glass
and everyone has to pour a little bit of water into the glass and then it gets to the top and
then whatever that science thing is instead of spilling over it starts to create like a bubble
whoever yeah whoever ends up breaking it like loses do you do you follow that family that
gives away money they always pop up i don't follow anybody on TikTok. Yeah.
But if I like the video, it just knows.
And I might as well be following.
I like hate following, but I kind of like it.
It's just a family.
I think they're like in Indiana or something.
And they just play games every day giving away money to themselves.
Yeah.
And the little girl never wins.
She's so bad.
So bad at it.
It fucking sucks.
Let's see if I can find it for you, TJ.
She gets...
I feel bad for her.
This is so good.
Is it really?
Oh my God.
Like an 8.5.
Clem family.
Hell yeah.
The ultimate compliment.
If you find them on Instagram,
they're the Clem family.
K-L-E-M.
You use the chips to kind of like
scoop up the excess
that falls off the baguette.
Keep saying that word.
Kyle, is Santa black now for you guys?
My sister might be on that wave for real.
Yeah.
What does that mean?
He shows up the next day?
The what?
I don't know.
Remember that video of Santa getting shot?
Look at Greer.
What?
Talking Nito.
He's on a mission.
I know you established this already.
Whose baby is that?
Evolo FIFA.
Yeah.
Very famous porn star.
Hell yeah. Wait, really?
I've probably watched one of her
videos in the last three days.
Really? I've never heard of her.
She's huge. Did you recognize her?
No, not at all. Oh, wow.
You watch porno like that? All the time, yeah.
Ow.
What, recognizing the star?
Yeah, or like, yeah, by star and like recognizing the star.
Oh, dude.
And like if you go on like most viewed, she's up there.
Is that how you watch?
Is that big?
Most viewed?
She's viewed.
Definitely not going on that feed.
What's everyone else jerking off to?
Featured tab is like, that's the homemade videos.
Don't want that.
Did they come out
with their year end
review yet?
You know how Pornhub's
always like here's the
year end review.
Oh they did yeah.
It's like everyone
transitioned from like
anime to like
fluff flirt
what is it?
Furries.
Really?
Really.
They do it by state.
I saw that on Reddit
the other day.
Isn't that
that has to be
no those are
very inaccurate.
A joke. The fact that, that has to be, no, those are very inaccurate. A joke.
The fact that there's trends that, like, everybody's getting into something is weird as fuck to me.
Because it's not, it's just not true.
Like, when it says, like, outdoors.
You know what I've been watching lately?
I don't know what this is, but I've seen.
And I didn't jerk off to.
But it's called She Reacts.
And it's like porn star women watching videos of porn.
Really?
Yeah.
And them being turned on.
But they're clothed.
They're not doing anything.
They're like armchair quarterbacking it?
They're like, here's what I would have done.
Eli Manning and the
Peyton of watching porn. It's cool.
I would watch that. Fascinating.
Hentai's still number one.
Close.
Is hentai the stuff with tentacles?
It's not always
tentacles. It's just animated.
A vagina birthing an octopus.
There's an octopus up there.
A lot of hentai I actually want to say
is not even nudity, is it?
Sexual drawings.
You're asking me?
Glad you asked.
Where do I even begin?
No, I think a lot of it's just porn,
but just animated.
They just have giant titties with glare.
Oh, yeah, they do have glare.
The talents of those people who can animate that is astronomical.
I wonder if anybody's gone to Pixar from that.
I assume it's the opposite.
People going from Pixar to hentai?
I don't know, because if Pixar offers the bag...
Yeah.
I mean, the guy who just, like, that did Mrs. Incredible, he was doing hentai before.
He had to have been.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
Take a look at her.
Big ass.
Hentai is the, like, farm system?
To Pixar.
Yeah.
Bella Danger.
Is it Eva Elfie?
Is that who I'm thinking of?
Eva Elfie.
Yeah.
I don't think that's who that is, though.
I don't know how she became so popular.
I've seen one of her things, and I didn't love it.
Johnny Sins being up there.
Good for him.
Yeah, we got male representation.
Damn, so that's not.
I interviewed Brandy Love once.
How was she?
She's an interesting lady.
Anybody else on the list?
I can't tell.
Oh, maybe it's amateur models if they have an OnlyFans, right?
What separates a pro from an amateur is just like I'm filming this on my phone?
I guess.
I think they have to declare their pro status.
Like how there's the Screen Actors Guild.
Is there a porn guild?
Yeah, there is.
I would assume amateur is probably people just making porno videos from their home rather than going to the studio.
Yeah, I do think that the porn stars have a union.
They must.
I'm not sure.
Because like STD testing and all that shit.
A lot of leather. What's up with Wisconsin? Egging. For sure. Because like STD testing and all that shit. A lot of leather.
What's up with Wisconsin?
Egging.
Egging.
Hairy pussy.
Yeah.
Who?
Yeah, whoa.
That's the Amish.
Oh, hell yeah.
That's the Amish.
That's me.
That's the Amish.
That's me.
I'm just saying Pennsylvania.
It's Nadeau.
Nadeau's fucking doing that.
I think California stated Asian two years in a row.
The amateur wife for Hawaii?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just got married.
Who's into goth?
Who is that?
What state is that?
Colorado.
It's West Virginia.
It blurted out.
Mountain mamas.
Black ass.
Imagine opening up Pornhub and typing in big black ass wait did you think that's West Virginia
no oh no it's trans oh smoking Virginia's into smoking what's smoking just smoking a cigarette
while you have sex big black ass oh rub KB Iowa boy get there KB, Iowa boy. Get there, KB.
You in Iowa.
I don't like watching cream pies.
Ah, you like the sound of them.
I like the sound of them.
Feeling of them.
Which is the most normal thing I've ever said.
What was that?
What was that?
It is.
Well, yeah.
I don't think I was there for that.
And I remember being like, I don't know why everyone's flaming KB
yeah it was just you guys
and some of like
your dork fans
were like
piling on
they were like
that was the
you threw off the whole episode
with that weird shit
what did we do again
what was the
best feeling
no best things
best things
best feelings
no just things
things
okay
it was an alphabetical draft
we threw a fucking wrinkle
yeah cream pie
fucked him up and I I disagree still yeah It was an alphabetical draft. We threw a fucking wrinkle. Yeah, cream pie.
Fucked him up.
I disagree, still.
I'm not getting back into this.
Anxiety's not worth it. I feel good where I am.
Egypt.
Pan.
Yeah.
The United States is...
Oh, time spent per visit. Wow.
So we come fast.
That still seems high.
That seems really high.
Nine minutes?
What does that say?
Female visitors.
I think that probably accounts for how long people take to find the video they want.
Yeah.
There's a lot of hopping.
There's some browsing going on.
How long do you give a video until you're just like nah well now when you hover over it usually
will give you the the highlights like it ruins it yeah but i like to do that because then i don't
even click on it i'll do a quick highlight check yeah where's this one going we all know you never
know you know it's weird i don't know maybe this is not true of other people but i i
find myself returning to like the same three or four videos over and over and over again
everyone's got a foundation yeah build off it ebony wow she's popular here
it's all Jeff Nadir.
Russia.
You think they're only allowed to watch Russian?
Oh yeah.
Where is transgender in Brazil?
Number one in Brazil.
Yeah, wow.
That is kind of interesting.
Like if you think about how many
people are like transphobic
and then think about how many of those people are also secretly jerking off to trans porn.
I just assume all these things are fake.
But yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How do you know?
You have one as an outlier that'll get people riled up.
Yep.
Yep.
I think that Brazilians are really transphobic.
Yes.
In your head you see those are transphobic people.
Most likely.
Yeah.
Think so too KB?
What makes you think that?
Just their general belief system.
I think Argentina would be the more progressive of the two.
Interesting.
Brazil's very Catholic, right?
Yes.
What do you think about West Virginia being trans?
That can't be true.
No, it's not.
Curiosity?
It is.
Maybe they just learned what it is i think we have
trans politicians yeah they're curious that's how they like google shit through pornhub
dj i sent you the video i i don't know if you guys have seen this old school
hall of fame internet video when they shot santa you guys not seen this? I think so. Like for real shot Santa?
Oh, with a BB gun or a pistol gun or something.
Yeah.
I've seen that.
It's Black Santa.
It's Philly, right?
It might be Baltimore.
Could be Philly.
I thought it was Philly.
I remember.
They do have similar
looking buildings.
Both of the cities kind of
have a similar.
Big roof deck people.
First on ABC 7 News at 5 dressed as Santa Claus
shot by a pellet gun while delivering good cheer only on ABC 7 and how Santa's helper is doing now. I'd much rather it be me than anyone else wanting to get it.
Shot me.
They shot me.
Damn it.
Philly is ABC affiliates ABC 6.
So I think that's got to be somewhere else.
It says Southeast Washington.
Oh. On this ABC exclusive
Santa Claus
shot
I think I said it
on here before
but when I was a
Christmas UPS driver helper
the driver in the district
right beneath us
got shot
on Christmas Eve
like right
while he was driving
on our very last day
he got held up
and shot
he was fine
why the hell would you shoot a fucking UPS driver?
Yeah.
That's so mean.
Way to rob them.
My driver was like, I'm glad he's okay, but that guy was a total asshole.
He was a total shit.
Yeah, apparently he was an asshole.
I don't know.
What a fucking asshole.
I will say, though, that that version of Storage Wars would be more fun to watch.
Which one?
You don't know. You rob a UPS truck.
Oh, yeah.
You don't know what you're going to get.
There's got to be some good things.
It combines unboxing with crime and that mystery element that Storage Wars has.
It's a little bit of gambling.
Yeah.
That's fun.
Damn, that sounds like an awesome show.
That sounds pretty good.
Should we talk to the branded content team?
We should.
Take off, partner with FedEx.
Yeah, that'd be great.
UPS trucks.
Amazon, because Amazon delivery routes are subcontracted, I think.
Yeah.
You can buy a FedEx delivery route.
But don't a lot of Amazon, doesn't it own a lot of its own
trucks and stuff?
Yeah.
So you lease a truck from Amazon?
Yeah.
Damn, that's predatory.
Ah, damn.
That was really good, Kate.
Incredible.
Excellent, excellent.
No one's tried any of the iced tea, I see.
I've been drinking it.
I got the diet, I think is better.
Yeah, the diet is better.
The green tea is great, too. It's pretty sweet. It's sweeter than that cream pie I ate. I've been drinking it. I got the diet. I think it's better. Yeah, the diet is better. The green tea is great, too.
It's pretty sweet.
It's sweeter than that cream pie I ate.
Peach?
Yeah, that's great.
That'll have you pissing.
For real?
Oh, my God.
Probably shouldn't.
No, no, Nick.
Nick.
It's a good piss.
Hot.
As opposed to the frigid.
Typically leaves my
That's Sheetz, yeah.
This one's gonna come out hot.
Hot and a fucking
strong stream.
Fire O's.
Alright, if you say so.
Kyle and Nick,
are you guys ride or die Sheetz?
Yes.
No.
100%.
Wawa has way better food.
Wrong.
Really?
I think that Sheetz is better.
Oh, I think Wawa's better.
Popcorn chicken from Sheetz.
Sheetz's food is just very bad.
You got to get that Sheetz.
It's all deep fried food.
It's like...
That's the only...
Yeah, the only thing people can say is good is the things that are fried.
True.
Good from any established burger rep.
Their burger is probably the most disgusting burger that's sold.
Anywhere?
They just have a Bavarian ham pretzel melt. That's foul. Anywhere? Have you had the burger on the Amtrak?
I just have a Bavarian ham pretzel melt.
That's foul.
That's so good.
Damn.
I had the burger on the Amtrak once, and I was like shitting black tar.
Yeah, I got the Amtrak Friday.
I'll be getting the burger.
Tyler just got the Amtrak burger.
You love trains, Nick.
No, I hate planes.
Oh.
So you don't love trains.
You got to get over them.
Tolerate trains.
Tolerate trains.
Are you going around the big windy thing?
The Altoona Curve?
Yeah.
Every damn time.
Oh, fuck yeah.
I went up there once with my mom, and there's people with professional cameras who wait all day long.
Can you send us a video from the Altoona Curve?
Yeah, gladly.
How long does it take?
The curve?
Oh, the whole trip.
Quick eight.
Oh, my God. Wow Quick eight. Oh my god.
Wow. You could fly to Pittsburgh. Thirty.
And drive.
Six hours. Oh.
So I'm wrong. Where would you fly
to in West Virginia? I'd have to fly to Pittsburgh.
No, no, the drive from Pittsburgh
is an hour. Oh, yeah, yeah.
So I could fly like 45 minutes. And then
the drive is an hour. Yeah. But you would. So I could fly like 45 minutes. And then the drive is an hour.
Yeah.
But.
You would probably die on the plane.
100% would.
And I wouldn't be able to get a burger, and I wouldn't be able to go around the Altoona Curve.
Yeah, the Altoona Curve is a game changer.
Do they announce it?
They're like, we're coming up on the curve.
Every single time.
And I like, I've done this so much now, I watch other people experience the curve.
I want to go check out.
Here it comes. First time? First time, yeah. A couple first watch other people experience the curve. I want to go check out. Here it comes.
First time?
First time, yeah.
A couple first timers.
I look over and I'm just like, don't worry.
You're going to want to get up to car six.
It's got the best view.
Come over here and get a picture.
You want to get on my side?
How long does the curve take?
About an hour and a half.
No, no, no.
Probably 15, but every once in a while you'll hit traffic.
I got stuck behind a coal train once.
On the curve?
Yeah, and then my trip ended up being 12 hours.
Oh, my God.
How do you have traffic on a train?
It's one lane.
It's not right.
Or two guys are just pumping.
Yeah.
I hated when that happened.
I was always running away from something.
I was on the Amtrak for Thanksgiving, and I was going home, and we hit a person.
This is the second time this has happened to me, and usually it's someone jumps in front of it.
And they said it was a passenger strike.
It was a passenger strike.
And for some reason, I think I was the only person on the train that could comprehend what that meant.
People were calling their families, being like, a passenger strike?
It was like, yeah, someone jumped in front of the train.
How are you guys not
They thought it was people striking.
They could not comprehend what it meant.
Everyone.
The last time I took the train home
last time I went home
we pulled over
and a guy got arrested right off the train.
Oh that's thrilling.
Where do you pull over?
It's a track.
We stopped.
The cops just came on and the guy was a Sigma right off the train. Yeah. Oh, that's thrilling. Where do you pull over? It's a track. We stopped. That's thrilling.
And the cops just came on,
and the guy was a Sigma
and just sat there and ignored the cops.
They just carried him off,
and he, like, stayed quiet.
Legend.
I played golf once with a guy
who worked as a train conductor,
and he told me that they hit people constantly.
What?
And that so often it's accidental,
and a lot of the time it's kids who are just listening to music
and they're walking on the track.
They said headphones.
They said headphones has been the biggest change.
That's a bummer.
Let me tell you something.
Really good headphones.
I started an eBay page selling used headphones,
and you can find them walking on the tracks.
They're everywhere.
Oh, my God, yeah.
It's probably like finding arrowheads.
Oh, they're everywhere.
It's such a treat.
With Bo's noise canceling, you won't even know when the trains come in.
Look at that thing.
Look at that curve.
That's so cool.
Damn.
They named their baseball team that.
They named their baseball team after a fucking curve on a train track.
Who lives in that house?
Is that just like a government house?
Oh, it's a museum.
There's like a whole little museum there.
And then there's a tram car that takes you up that little hill.
And then you could also go to the Mallow Cup factory.
Yes, the Mallow Cups are right there as well.
And you can also visit Joe Mergo, the meteorologist.
Nick, I can't believe you do this.
Can you whip me a cupcake?
Yeah.
Whip me one.
Francis, you got me?
Nope.
Throw, Nicky.
Explain to me why they
didn't build a bridge and
just...
And what would they name
their baseball team?
Why would...
Yeah.
The Altoona Straights?
That would be inaccurate,
though.
The Altoona Efficience? Yeah. Yeah. That would be inaccurate though The Altoona Efficiency
Yeah
That would be a cool bit
The Altoona Tangent
Yeah
They should have just built a bridge
Yeah
It feels like the bridge would have made sense there
Always traffic hold up
Was the conductor that you were friends with
Was he like an Amtrak conductor
I got paired with him
Was he like a subway?
Oh, no, a passenger train.
He said they hit kids all the time.
Jesus Christ.
I said, do you ever try to stop?
And he goes, he was like, it depends.
But typically, to slam on the emergency brakes and stop the train. There's nothing we can do.
And you just know you're going to hit the kid long before you hit the kid.
That's fucked.
They just honk the horns.
Honking the horns.
They're so loud.
They can't stop the train.
And there's nothing they can do.
So he just, like, watches.
Oh, my God.
Watches in slow motion. I would not watch.
Dude, I can't believe that you're having this.
I'm just picturing you on the golf course like with a cigar in your mouth and him just being
like.
Dude, fuck that part.
Yeah, just hit these kids.
What's that?
180 yards out?
Get me my six, Jeff.
I mean, I went career low that day.
You were really calm.
Really helping me out.
Focusing my pucks.
I don't get the kids are walking on the track though.
Thanks, D dude.
Yeah, you're listening to fucking Green Day?
Walking down the train tracks?
Have you ever watched Stand and Deliver or whatever that movie is?
When I was a kid, my dad would take us walking on the tracks, like, all the time.
Hey, but these headphones aren't good.
I was walking on the tracks when I was, like, 18.
Yeah, wait, but the horn, that's how good the headphones are now?
Those horns are loud.
You've got to make the horns better.
Kids are listening to loud music, you know?
They're planning a shooting. I don't know what they're doing. All right, everyone's horns better loud music you know they're planning a
shooting i don't know what they're doing all right everyone's got a if you if you know anyone out
there tell your kids not to walk on the track i could be blindfolded with noise canceling headphones
and walk for infinite amount of time with and still avoid getting hit okay we should try that
you ever felt that yeah because the track is like vibrating all of your senses can detect a train
are you a bat come on We don't know that.
We don't know how smooth those trains are.
If it's a long, one of those cars that has equipment on it and stuff, maybe.
But passenger trains might not be.
Yeah, the Acela is smooth.
Oh, yeah.
The Acela just glides along the tracks.
Why can't they just put a big spring in the front of it?
Just push the kid out of the way, because the cow pusher's in the front.
In Snowpiercer. In Snowpiercer. You kind of have that slope to it of it? Just push the kid out of the way, because the cow pusher's in the front. In Snowpiercer.
In Snowpiercer.
You kind of have that slope to it that kind of knocks all the snow out of the way, pierces it.
Did you see that map that was going around Twitter that was like, here's Europe's train tracks and here's the USA's?
That thing goes viral so much.
All the time.
And it looks like crazy spider webs over there, and ours is like, bloop, bloop, bloop.
Have you seen China's?
I wonder, are they getting hit?
Is Europe hitting kids?
Probably.
What's their deal?
Well, also it's a big thing
because a lot of Americans get mad
because they don't have good public transportation
in a lot of cities.
But we do.
We got great public transportation.
Yeah.
Our infrastructure's crumbling.
Yeah.
Country's too big.
Country's too big.
They always post those like,
if we made the bullet trains
and they're like,
you could get from California to Massachusetts
in two hours on a train.
What?
You could commute to Chicago from here.
Wait, how fast?
It's like a hypothetical if they actually built them.
From Shanghai to Beijing.
How long did it take?
I think it was five, maybe five and a half.
And how long is the travel?
A long way.
Was it scary how fast you were going?
How fast does the fastest train go?
You get used to it.
This one I think goes
I think this goes 200 miles an hour.
It might be 220.
And it floats, right?
It doesn't sound fast
but dude, it's super fast.
Yeah, they float.
I think they float, right?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah.
And why don't we have these?
Was it derailed a lot?
It was not awful listen.
It was really efficient.
Okay, that was way off.
$286.
I mean, that's flying, dude.
I kind of have a big fear of D-Rail.
That would destroy a pair of headphones.
You'd find them so far away.
Next town over.
Still fully intact.
God forbid they were ear pods.
They'd be gone. They'd be gone.
They'd be bullets.
So that would be,
so here in Chicago,
it would be like a little less than three hours.
Yeah.
On a train.
Wow.
Why don't we have that?
I also don't know why we don't have faster airplanes.
I think they're getting there fast.
They made the Concord one, but the Concord one was way too loud.
They're coming back.
It was crashing, and now United is coming out with a boom.
It's called the Boom, which is a little weird.
I don't like that first name.
I think it has to do with Sonic Boom.
How fast can it go?
That will be able to go from probably New England to England in probably three hours.
They're exceptionally high in the air
too, right? They fly at like 60,000 feet.
I have a jet saw.
Really good ones fly at 50,000 feet.
Yeah. But these things are
really, really fast.
Boom is actually supposed to come out pretty soon, I believe.
Yeah, like I just want to be able to
go from New York to LA in
two hours. You will with this.
I mean, you'd be able to afford it but the tickets
are going to be like $10,000. Is this the one you got to
stand up in? No you can sit down.
I don't think they're going to fly this over the country
though because like the sonic boom
sets off car alarms and breaks windows.
No shit. That's what had to do
with the Concord shutting down but then
also the Concord crashed horribly.
The Concord got you to London in like three or four hours.
Three and a half yeah.
Does this one, does the sonic boom happen a lot of times?
Dude, you can watch videos of the sonic boom.
I know, but I thought, for some reason, I kind of thought it happened once.
That was a one and done.
And you passed the speed of sound, and then it was off.
It might be like that.
I don't know.
Can we watch it?
It's like a one and done.
Watching the sonic boom is so cool.
It's cool.
It's awesome. I want to do't. Can we watch it? It's like a one and done. Watching the sonic boom is so cool. It's cool. It's awesome.
I want to do a sonic boom.
And it is loud.
How loud?
Loud.
Make the noise.
Well, push the mic away.
Have you seen?
Whoa.
No, I don't think that was that loud.
I did a sonic boom.
We're going to see one this soon?
Patience, my boy.
I think you skipped it.
Yeah, it's only a minute long.
You might have missed it.
You missed it.
Also, this is video.
TJ.
Oh, no, he got it.
The boom happens really high up in the air.
It takes off.
All right, wait.
Let it play.
Let it play.
Oh, shit. So, yeah, if you live near the airport, that would suck suck i don't even think it was that yeah
also i love the idea of sass have you ever seen that happen in real life no god no yeah so your
frame of reference for knowing you were like it's really loud i've watched this means that
you turned the volume on that video up really high.
You can hear that, and you're like, that sounds really loud.
If you hear a gunshot in a video, it doesn't sound loud at all.
So if you use that as referencing points, it's like, okay, the sonic boom is definitely explosively loud.
Have you shot a gun?
Yeah.
They're so much louder than I would have thought.
I know, right?
And so if you hear that
through that you can't i can't even imagine how loud that is i had we had to shoot like every
weapon not a ton but like all the way up the machine gun range and my earplug fell out when
i was shooting a 50 cal and to this day whenever the news is on or birds are chirping or any like
inconsistent sound my left ear goes thump thumpump, thump. And I can feel something thumping in my ear ever since then.
That's fucked.
Like permanently.
As it was happening, I was like,
I'm fucking my ear up for like the rest of my life right now.
Shit.
Crazy.
When I went shooting in Phoenix,
there was a guy next to us who was shooting a sawed off AK-47,
like with no muzzle.
Every time he shot it, the whole room would shake.
And it was like, I had the big overhead headphones,
and it still was insanely loud.
AK-47, no muzzle?
Yeah.
Sawed-off shotgun?
Those are cool.
Yeah.
Why saw them off?
Does it make them smaller?
Sprays more, right?
I have no idea.
Probably because it's more compact? I think it's spray. Yeah Spray's more, right? I have no idea. Probably just more compact.
I think it's spray.
Yeah, spray's more.
It goes wider, spray.
Louder.
Kill more things.
Chaka.
KB, a fucking train would light you up, dude.
I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
I'd be so fucked.
I'm impervious from getting hit by trains.
I'm walking with headphones getting hit by trains.
Walking with headphones on on a track.
As a teen.
As a teen.
You're saying you have better senses than a teenager.
You can sympathize with them without justifying that accident.
Yeah, it is a little bit outrageous.
What are they looking at?
It's not going to happen all the time. The horn is so loud.
They're walking away other way. The horn is so loud. They're walking towards it. They're walking away from it.
Or this guy said that he would see them
sitting down on the track.
Oh, man.
You don't feel like the vibration of the tracks?
No.
You can't stop?
You don't see it out of the corner of your eye?
What does he do?
He just calls it in?
You hit the kid, and then maybe you stop,
and you call the police.
They commit suicide off in that profession because of that.
That is true.
I did hear that too.
Also, if that happens, strap in because you've got to get five-hour delay.
They've got to bring in new conductors.
Is that right?
Yeah.
And they have to bring the police in to do an investigation.
We all know what happened.
Oh, God.
It sucks for you, man.
I know
five hour delay
when you make
when you make it to number two
so you've been delayed
ten hours
starts getting a little frustrating
so we see who the victim is here
me
sassy
I would imagine
a lot of drunk people
because I feel like
drunk people love hanging out
by train tracks
oh yeah
that's like a
100%
and underground rappers too
yeah every underground rapper's like first... 100%. And underground rappers, too. Yeah.
Every underground rapper's, like, first album or photo shoot.
Every senior picture is walking down a train track.
It's a good metaphor.
Putting the coins on the tracks.
Flattening those things out.
So fun.
Well, you see a rite of passage here for the kids who, like, grow up here is riding on top of the subway cars.
Have you seen those videos where they're just, like, casually standing on them it's like yeah just recently brooklyn i think yeah they do it
every day yeah they all like it's insanely stupid that they do that wait they stand on them as
they're going yeah yeah like they're doing like legitimate subway surfers on the it's like on the
l or like the elevated uh right on the top outside yeah mountain. Get it outside, yeah. Ooh. Is Glennie still interviewing that woman?
Yeah.
He is?
He's such a cute baby.
Can we peek in?
Oh, my God, dude.
King.
This is such a good conversation that they're having.
Look how casual he is.
Just arm slump, very comfy.
He also is just, like, honing the riz of his game.
He's just, at all times, he's in the dojo.
Just sprinkling a little bit of game.
Yeah, look at this.
Oh, this is fucking insane.
Oh my God.
It happens like all the time.
The kids will like run, yeah, from car to car.
Looking into the incident.
Yeah, I'm sure they really care.
They do it on the Metro North too.
Imagine if Frank was riding on top of him.
Protesting New Jersey Transit.
Well, there was no seats.
They sit on top of the train.
You stand.
Like the Polar Express.
Wait, oh, do you have that tweet from
Jack McGuire tweeted it about Frank?
Just one of the perfect Frank replies.
I just spent like 80 racks on my American.
No, Jack, yeah, here it is.
Tank is one of one.
What was the image?
Oh, yeah.
What was the first one? Yeah, Tank, did you go out to Wyoming one of one. What was the image? Oh, yeah. What was the first one?
Yeah, Tank, did you go out to Wyoming or did your family come to the Northeast?
Father was in the Air Force in Montana.
Met mother there.
Her family's out here.
Yeah.
What?
For this photo.
He answers what he wants.
He answers exactly what he wants.
Add it to his Wikipedia page.
He's a fucking...
Why the hell doesn't he have a Wikipedia page?
Oh, he should.
Frank the Tank.
Yeah, he really should.
A legend.
Been on the news.
Speaking of Wyoming, how about Brandon riding the bull?
Oh, yeah.
Let's watch that video.
It was a small bull.
Still pretty.
It was much smaller.
Actually, you don't realize how small the bull is until it pulls out, but it still looks
like it could have got the wind knocked out of him.
I mean, doing that, even that, what he's doing right now.
I don't think I would.
Wow.
He's going to complain about this for months.
Oh, he was off in two seconds.
Why wasn't he wearing a helmet?
Because that bull was so small.
He was riding on a newborn baby.
A helmet would have just pushed him over the weight limit of that bull.
That bull is definitely more hurt than him.
I'm hurt bad, though.
Yeah, talk to the bull.
Oh.
That's just a scrape.
That bastard cow stepped on my leg.
That's from the stirrup.
Yeah, he's definitely going to complain about this for a while.
A long time.
Deservedly so, though.
That's good content.
Yeah, it's great.
I'm kind of surprised he did it.
Oh, wow. I made a boo for you, but you can't bring my show back? Blatman roasted
his ass. Did Blatman say? Did I get
that? I get the same boo-boo every time
I break in a new pair of loafers. That is
true. Blatman buys some stiff-ass
loafers. Not for long.
Why?
Because of the pressure he puts on him with his fat ass.
Oh, yeah.
With his donk.
Where's Julio right now, Francis?
Speaking of.
He had to go record something.
What the hell?
We talked about something.
We recorded today, and I want to ask you guys a question.
Because I'll tell you what happened.
I was driving home the other night
through new york city lower east side or whatever and i went through a green light and then there
was a guy who was sort of standing in off the curb and he was with two girls and a buddy
and uh he underhand threw a glass bottle at my car hit hit it at the front of the car smashed it was very
intentional and then i pulled over 30 feet later to get out of the car to see how damaged my car
was and he saw me get out of my car and he started walking towards me and then his one of the
girlfriends like pulled his arm and pulled him back and then i watched them walk across the street
then come down the street basically to where the level I was at
on the other side
and then they went into a nightclub.
What was your tone when you got out of the car?
This is why you need a gun.
I was really mad.
I would have gotten out of there right away.
I was really mad.
Were you trying to fight?
Not really.
But when you get out of the car
you have to be ready to fight.
But I wasn't getting out of the car to fight him.
I was getting out of the car to look and see how much damage there was to the car.
And damage, is there anything?
I couldn't really tell.
It was night and raining.
But also, what I really wanted was to hail a police officer.
But then I wondered, I wanted to tell a cop,
hey, that guy just threw a bottle at me as I'm driving.
I mean, what if he'd hit my windshield or caused me to crash?
And I guess my question for you guys is, like, when are we snitching?
Is that snitching?
No.
If someone does a crime to you, that's not snitching.
No, that's not snitching.
If you do a crime with someone else and then you tell on them, that's snitching. But if someone does something to you that's wrong, that's not snitching. Definitely not a snitching if if you do a crime with someone else and then you tell on them that's snitching
but if someone does something to you that's wrong that's not snitching definitely not a snitch okay
i probably wouldn't have but yeah you shouldn't call the cops for that i didn't i didn't call
them yeah i watched him go into the nightclub i kept waiting for a cop to drive by that i could
have hailed and then no one did so then i walked across to the nightclub and went up to the doorman and
he before i could even say anything he was like sorry man we're full tonight oh no i was like i
go i'm not checking l's every i'm not sure i wasn't dressed well at all either i was just a
single guy being like oh maybe yeah uh oh but i had shitty sneakers on and i i went up to him and
i was like i'm not trying to come in.
Did you just see that guy that came in?
He was wearing a big yellow raincoat.
And he was like, did we?
And he turned to the guy behind him, and the guy was like, yeah, we did.
I go, yeah, that guy just threw a bottle, a glass bottle at me in the road, hit my car, and then I watched him come in here.
And I don't know what I wanted.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, you.
You're doing justice.
You can't exact it. I would not have. If I was you, what I wanted. Yeah. Yeah, no, you... You're on justice. Okay, so... You can't exact it.
No, I think you're on justice.
I would not have.
If I was you, I would have, though.
Yeah, that's a tough one
because I had something similar
less severe happen.
I was driving
and I stopped at a light
and like three teenagers
walked in front of my car
and one of them spit on my windshield
and I got out of the car
and I like fake... I was like, what the fuck? And then they ran and I feel like we all got And I got out of the car and I like fake,
I was like, what the fuck?
And then they ran.
And I feel like we all got what we wanted out of that.
It's like they ran and I got to feel like a big tough guy.
And it was like, all right.
They were laughing as they ran.
Yeah, right.
I wasn't going to chase them, but I wanted them to be a little bit scared
and they wanted to be a little scared.
Yeah.
And so it was a great.
That's good.
Yeah.
I wish I'd had something like that.
This guy was big though. He was really tall. That's a. Yeah. I wish I'd had something like that. This guy was big though.
He was really tall.
That's a problem too.
He's like,
if you get out of the car,
like I could have,
I would have fucked up
these little kids
like real bad.
They were like maybe 13.
I would have pounded all their.
Really tall in a yellow jacket?
All their heads, yeah.
Was he with a curious
little chimpanzee?
May have been a celebrity.
Yeah, but when you get
out of the car. What's his hat? When you get out of the car, you basically are...
It's provocation?
Yeah, I don't think you can get out of a car in a road rage situation and be like, no, I don't want to fight.
But I immediately went to the front of my car.
I wasn't getting out and looking at him. But thankfully, I had gone far enough that when he saw me, he started walking towards me.
He saw me get out of the car.
That's where I would have gone back.
And then his girlfriend or whatever held onto his arm and pulled him back.
Yeah, see, if you had a gun.
You know what I really wanted was bear
mace oh oh okay um a friend of mine was a gift did a big bottle of bear mace it's like a really
really strong one that can shoot from 30 yards most of it's like 5 to 10 yards and uh i said to
my friend i was like what is your why his boss gave it to him and i was like what does your boss
think you do uh and you know my buddy was like, ah, whatever.
And then I told my friends this story,
and my buddy was like,
this would have been a perfect opportunity for Bear Mace.
Oh, man, if you Bear Mace someone for 30 yards?
Holy fuck, that would rule.
That guy's not going to that nightclub anymore.
Not at all.
Yeah.
That would be fucking awesome.
But then we looked up, because it's illegal,
this particular Bear Mace to have in New York City.
So I looked up the legality of mace,
and apparently one of the rules is it has to fit in your pocket,
which is so subjective.
Just get bigger pockets.
Bigger pants, exactly.
And then it has to, I think the legal range is like 5 to 10 yards.
Yeah, it's pretty shitty in New York.
I remember I tried to buy some a while ago.
Why?
And I couldn't ship it in New York.
Oh, I have...
Why?
I should have brought...
I normally have it on me all the time.
You were going to mace some people?
People were, like, getting killed outside of my apartment, like, weekly.
I tried to buy a blade.
You can't buy a blade.
Yeah.
Really?
You can't have a blade?
Yeah.
You guys are going to stab and mace people?
I would be totally fine macing someone.
I wouldn't feel any problem.
Mace would have been cool.
I'm not trying to stab.
I don't want to stab someone at all.
Oh, God, no.
But if you pull out a knife and they pull out a gun.
I was going to get shot anyway, probably.
Yeah, true.
So I also had brought my dinner with me because I was running late.
And so I was coming home.
And next to me on the driver's seat, excuse me, the passenger's seat, I had a big salad bowl.
And I had a fork in it that was still
wet from the balsamic vinaigrette so after this exchange and i told on him to the bouncer or
whatever uh who was like i don't know what to do i'm sorry why don't you take my number and anytime
you want to come here you can just come in what nice well yeah but i don't go to nightclubs but
i still took his number down i don't why. That made me feel like a bitch.
Shouldn't have said that.
No, you really got a mask on.
Should we call him?
Wait, so then you got in your car and you ate your soggy salad?
My salad was done, and as I was driving home,
all I was doing was dreaming about a scenario where I get out of the car
with the fork in my hand, and the guy walks towards me to fight me,
and I'm like, hey, I don't want any trouble,
and then I stabbed him in a vital organ.
And imagine how much balsamic vinaigrette would sting
going into your gut.
Oh, yeah.
And you'd have to think there'd be a lot of infection from that.
Definitely.
A wet salad fork.
Did you hurt your car?
I don't know.
I didn't really look that closely.
Luckily, my car's all fucked up,
and it's kind of dinged up, so I don't really care what I used.
You crashed that thing a lot.
I've hit it.
Yeah.
Have you?
Not crashed.
It's been rear-ended, and I've had some scrapes.
How many times did you get rear-ended?
Well, when you do the alternate side parking shit every week for like months.
It's true. You end up hitting people yeah old car got hit so many times one time i was in brooklyn at just
getting water ice at this place i was sitting in the car eating the water ice the car in front of
me i was and you always know when it's about to happen i'm like oh they're about to hit me and
there's not they hit me and then they're like oh sorry about that and then they and then they just
hit me again and pulled off and i was like i'm too much of a pussy i could do anything it's one of those things too where like people do it
and and uh nobody nobody in that line ever asks for like your information yeah no everyone's like
don't even worry about it what are we gonna do here yeah i was in uh when i was in high school i was sitting in my car uh eating breakfast
in the morning in the parking lot and uh ours off i'm just sitting there some kid who i knew
we were on the golf team together all of a sudden my car just like explodes forward and i looked
back and he's like inside my car with his car and uh and then he got and i was like what the fuck and he pulled into his parking spot and then just got up and walked then he got and I was like, what the fuck? And he pulled
into his parking spot and then just got up and walked
and I got out. I was like, yo, I was like, what the
fuck, dude? And he's like, oh, I'm sorry.
I had no idea you were in there.
That was it.
I was like, yeah, dude, no worries.
Don't worry about it.
I'm shifting to boats, but my Aunt Peg
and her husband got married.
I watched those.
And instead of going on a honeymoon, they bought a little boat, and they named it Our Honeymoon.
So the very first time, people are going to shimmy because of the food in my mouth, sorry.
The very first time they took it out, a kid, like a kid, how old do you have to be to be on a jet ski?
He was not old enough to be on one, but he was.
And you know how jet skis don't have brakes
the kid was coming towards them panicked ramped up over a wave and ended up they had to my aunt
uncle to like jump off the boat and somehow his jet ski landed right on top in the middle so he
was fine he was sitting on it like on top of their boat somehow holy shit boat accidents are cool to
watch can we see some of them oh yeah yeah. Boat accidents are really cool.
When a big yacht just
crashes. Do you watch the inlet
videos of boats going through the tough
inlets and everybody's just
standing there judging? It's so
awesome watching. I follow on Instagram
that's just literally a boat crash
page.
So much fun.
We need a big one.
Growing up there was this kid I used to play with
when I was really young.
We moved,
and then when he turned
15 or 16,
he was camping out on an
island and went back to the mainland
for supplies on his jet ski.
It was dark. Then when he went back,
he hit a sailboat and died
and the part of the story that always haunted me so much was that the house that his family
lived in they had to move out because they just couldn't live in the house with his like memories
all right and also the fact that you needed to take a jet ski. What do you mean? Didn't you say his house was on an island?
No.
Oh.
He was camping on an island.
Oh, camping on an island.
Sorry.
What is this?
Is this a crash?
That looks like it's intentional so far.
Where's this one going?
Skip to the sonic boom.
Oh, here we go is that wrong
doesn't look right
stop stop stop
I feel like that's the kind of dust you don't want to breathe in
I know
oh boy
how do you
the ocean is so big
how does this happen
have you ever been on a boat when a massive boat like that drives by out of me. How do you the ocean is so big. So big. How does this happen.
Have you ever been on a boat when like a massive
boat like that
drives by.
No.
And the wake coming off of it
is like full waves.
Try to find the page
I follow.
I follow these surfers
who surf the wave
from the
Cape May Ferry
or something like that.
They follow it for like miles
going through.
That's cool.
Yeah.
Yeah. Boat. Boat accidents are fucking crazy to watch.
Or just whenever there's videos of big-ass waves in the ocean.
Yep.
Like someone being on a ship and going through a massive wave.
That shit is...
That shit's horrifying.
Oh, wait, what's this one?
A lot of people have fallen out of that boat, no?
Oh.
Oh, you can't get over the waves?
The fucking Boca Inlet.
Don't go in the breakers, bro.
What is that called?
You have to get past a certain point with the waves?
Where there's no more waves anymore?
The break.
Break?
Yeah.
This video sucks.
It sucks.
You gotta watch the Coast Guard cutters
That go out and like off the Oregon coast
And they're getting slammed by like 25 foot waves
And they just keep going
Whoa
Whoa
Okay that was cool
Stupid bitch
What was she doing?
Is that a bathing suit?
That's the last place you'd want to be
Yeah is in the front.
Holy shit.
And it's always some dad who thinks he's got it under control.
Actually, things got better after she fell.
Yeah, true.
Very true.
Way better.
She was bad vibes.
Look at how much current there is.
Holy shit.
Is that their phone?
They're just going to knock it, go back and get her?
The jet skier's getting her.
Oh.
Thank God there was fucking...
I know.
Exact people she needed to save her.
Her phone.
Take my phone.
Save me.
I save.
Oh, that guy stays there and rescues people.
That's what it just...
His name is Yaki Hazoom?
Yeah, that's pretty cool.
I feel like arguments on boats, too,
are, like, between couples.
I've been on a couple boats
where the people trying to, like, dock it
have gotten into it with each other,
and I feel like there's no fight more venomous
than, like, a couple boat fight.
I think the number of people that can afford boats
is more than the amount of people
who are good at driving boats.
Yes.
Like, I think people get boats
when they have some fuck you money
and they're just like, yeah, I'm just going to get a fucking boat.
But that doesn't kill her.
Oh, shit.
Is that going to sink?
It's going to fucking sink.
Yeah, it's going to capsize.
The shit that freaks me out with this, with these type of boats,
is the propeller.
Yeah.
People just get diced up.
Oh, dude, is this boat going to sink?
I don't know.
I want it to sink?
Oogie Dip Day took a real scorpion turn.
Why are they not evening out the weight?
They're all standing on one side.
They start passing out life jackets.
Dude, do you want to spin the wheel again?
Yeah.
Promise two.
Scorpion.
Scorpion.
All right, wet again.
Aim wheel.
Yes.
TJ's been wet this entire time.
That sucks, and it's been a long show How you feeling TJ?
Cold
Yeah
Yeah
I bet
Should've made that mistake
You're right
Scorpion
It was so funny yesterday
When Kate's name came up
She's like
Everything's great on my wheel
Mine's a good vibe wheel
It was just all
Drop your dick off
All bad
I looked at it after
I don't know what like
Three of the things are.
There's a crazy acronym on there.
Yeah, it's like S-A-A-F-L-A.
Did you say what it was during the episode?
I think it's the happy therapy belly laugh circle.
Oh, yeah.
Everybody lays on each other's stomach and laughs.
Oh, it is.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
All right. Is this everyone? Yes. Wait, where's Brandon's stomach and laughs. Oh, it is. Yeah. Oh, okay. All right.
Is this everyone?
Yes.
Wait, where's Brandon?
I don't think I'm on there.
And Che.
Yeah, their wheels should be on.
Where's Francis's?
Get Francis to get a wheel.
It's okay.
There's nothing behind my name, right?
No.
Don't worry about me.
I am.
You're doing the voice again.
Who, me?
No, Ron sometimes looks at a Native American.
Should I confirm this is everybody so I don't get in trouble again?
Jerry?
Why is Jerry on here?
I am.
Jerry has a wheel.
I am.
I know he has a wheel.
Even when he's not here?
Yeah, take Jerry off.
When he's here, he gets the wheel.
Because it's also just me giving him $1,000.
Yeah.
It's not really fun.
Or you getting you get 540
540
i'm about to buy a fragrance treat myself
are you caught it i missed uh whoa there we. That's people helping people.
Did he make it?
Is he in Zimbabwe?
He is in Zimbabwe, I believe.
He didn't exist for a day.
Yeah, it was wild.
I saw him complaining about the customs in Dubai.
Oh, yeah. That shit looks shitty.
Complaining at the airport is one of the most fun things you can do.
Nikki, what do we got?
I don't remember.
Oh, man.
We should have written these down.
And I was also playing coy that day.
I was like, no, I'm not going to tell you what they are.
Oh, no.
I haven't even seen the wheel since that day.
All right, let's reveal it.
Nick.
Oh, no.
What's VRBs?
How are we going to be able to figure these out?
That's VRB.
That's when you have to eat a French dip from Arby's in a VR headset.
Okay.
That's good.
ML Cake.
Martin Luther King Cake?
Do you have to get a Martin Luther King cake?
We'll worry about it if it lands on that.
Okay, lunch of me.
Oh, boy.
I don't.
Oh, Nick, you stupid motherfucker.
What did you do?
What are these?
I don't remember any.
Oh, no.
Wikipedia.
It just says Wikipedia.
All right, so let's spin, and then we can go afterwards.
We can go watch.
Yeah.
He never said it.
No, he said it on the show.
Oh, he didn't.
Wouldn't he refuse to say?
It might be in my notes.
Oh, no.
He just never said.
Oops-a-daisy.
Hopefully it lands on VRBs.
Yeah, or MLK.
That's the only one I remember.
Yeah, it'll probably just be VRBs. Yeah, or MLK. That's the only one I remember. Yeah, it'll probably just be VRBs.
Let's spin.
Hope to God it's VRBs.
Oh.
It'll be Wikipedia.
It's Wikipedia.
Oh, I remember All Eyes on You.
No, it's not All Eyes on You.
Yeah, it's Wikipedia.
All right.
All right, you just have to figure it out.
Yeah, give me until tomorrow.
Okay.
Sounds good.
What fucking Wikipedia?
Everyone else is like a play on words.
And then just, hmm.
Yeah, all right, tomorrow is Wikipedia.
Yes.
What the fuck was Wikipedia?
The good news is you can just say whatever you want.
No, because I think that was a fucking awesome idea.
Wikipedia is a play on the a fucking awesome idea. Yeah.
Wikipedia is a play on the word encyclopedia.
Whoa.
Yeah, that's what I think you're thinking of.
Yeah.
All right, we'll figure it out.
Yeah.
Wikipedia.
Never said it?
Mm-mm.
Yeah, mm-mm.
All right, well, we'll do it tomorrow.
Wikipedia tomorrow.
Let's hype it up.
Yeah, me, you, Roan, Kate.
Yeah.
Francis, if you're here.
You're out?
I'm out.
Yeah, tomorrow's going to be fucking crazy.
And remember, Christmas special coming on Friday.
Awesome show.
Very, very fun.
Great vibes.
If anyone wants hoagie dips, swing by the office. I'm going to eat more.
I'm about to eat more, too.
You just invited people?
Come through.
No, stop. Stop it. You'll get shot. Our address, yeah. Oh, not by Francis. We won't do anything. I'm going to eat more I'm about to eat more too don't invite you just invited people fuck come through no stop
stop
you don't get shot
well not by
Francis won't do anything
Francis won't do anything
give me a salad fork
you never know
he'll be a pussy about it
just throw anything
in his car
just talk to a bouncer
just go to that club dude
just go to the club
that'll make you
we could call in that favor
if it's really fun
yeah
it'd be kind of
yeah just go hang out favor that you would've never gotten if this guy didn't do it we could call in that favor fun yeah it'd be kind of yeah just go hang
out favor that you would have never gotten if this guy didn't do it it could be a butterfly
you might not remember me but i'm the guy whose car got hit by the bottle you said we could be
friends i don't know yeah like fuck you dude uh stand out here with you guys
wikipedia tomorrow See everyone tomorrow Wikipedia It's the act. It's the act.
It's time to talk shop and do a Yankees love. It's the act.
It's the act.