The Yak - The Worst Family Feud Answer Of All Time | The Yak | 3-11-22
Episode Date: March 11, 2022It's the YakYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right, it's the Yak.
The Yak on Friday.
Got some boys out.
Big Cats in the Hoboken Gambling House streaming.
Nick is, it's Nick Friday.
He's somewhere else.
Sass is still on his suspension.
We got the boys, KB, Owen. We gianna marie we got madeline lynn we got kate dustin brandon rudy yeah everybody's here
yeah the whole crew full set rudy how was your pre-show dump good man nothing feels better than
than pooping right before a big event yeah Yeah, really. You're so right.
Yeah.
In and out.
I'm like a thief in the night when I poop.
I go quick.
Really?
That was quick.
I poop super fast.
Do you?
Yeah.
Always been that way.
I don't.
My legs go to sleep.
Hey, ladies.
How you doing?
Hello.
Hey, Brando.
Yeah, you got a big weekend coming up, right?
Yes.
Kelly Keeg's live show.
Wait, not a live show.
It is live.
It's a live sling show.
We're both on it.
But when you say live show, it sounds like she's- You were putting the wrong-
Oh, right, okay.
On the wrong slide.
Live show on sling.
Live show.
Yeah, a live show on sling.
Which is pathetic that we've gotten to a point where everyone's just doing live shows and it's just so normalized.
So sad.
It devalues the whole
process if you think about it.
Kelly Keegs has the other line
debuting on Sling 8 o'clock on Sunday night.
You're the producer. Yes I am.
Are you a good producer? She's great.
Thank you. She's awesome.
They have this new thing they're doing. It's a wet wheel.
It's a live show
wet wheel kind of thing.
It's who they want to fuck
uh
speaking of top ten
speaking of what
I don't know
alright we'll find the groove somewhere along the way
Owen how you doing
I'm good I missed yesterday
I saw Frank was talking shit
classic
yesterday was interesting yesterday was the
tank thursday for the ages what happened it was a very tank thursday it was the most like this is
an exaggeration frank yelled at the top of his lungs somewhere in the office like he was on the
other side of the office my water cup started shaking like jurassic park like i saw but
and it went on for like it was uninterrupted for like the length of a i don't know like 10 minutes
probably straight oh no i was gonna say 25 minutes like a movie to the point where i was like there's
gonna be like an ambulance out front soon like he's not gonna survive this rant that he's doing
we did have an ambulance come here yesterday we did did. Why? I still don't know why.
Did y'all find out the details?
Because I got the details.
I'm not going to say
the guy's name,
but do y'all know
that he got hurt
in the office
and the ambulance
came and got him.
They wheeled him out
in a wheelchair
and he specifically said,
do not roll me past the yak.
He knows.
He knows.
What happened?
I still don't know why.
What happened?
I did some digging and I couldn't figure it out.
I went by the gambling camp and I said, who got wheeled out?
And all of them were real quiet about it. They said, I don't know
who you're talking about. I asked the same thing to the producers
in the corner, which I think is where this person
sits, and they were all like, I have no idea what you're
talking about. Is this person okay?
It seems fine.
If he died, we probably would have
known. It's one of those guys that even if he
was, you can't tell if he's great or if he's awful.
He's just...
I don't know.
I've been on the road with him.
Really?
I've been to California with him.
Does he ever talk?
Yes.
Solely?
Yes.
No, we're not going to speculate.
He's doing fine.
No, if it was Fasoli, he would want to be...
How about Fasoli?
Fasoli would be rolling past.
Fasoli posting...
This dude just loves taking pictures of me. Yeah, he sniped you. I saw that. How about Fasoli? Fasoli would be rolling past. Fasoli posting.
This dude just loves taking pictures of me.
Yeah, he sniped you.
I saw that.
He has a KB shrine in his closet.
He took a picture of me around three girls. No.
And then one of the girls DM'd him and asked him to delete it.
No way.
Because they were fucking like, of course,
the commenter.
They were outsiders.
They were just roasting.
But they weren't employees of Barstool, right?
No.
Were they at the client party?
They were.
Solely.
Yeah, they were reps.
When did we start having just gigantic parties
every Thursday night?
I got wasted.
I saw you on the beer.
I walked upstairs and KB was tearing up beer pong tables.
Yeah, he was running the beer pong table
when I went up there too.
So hungover.
I was at home in my pajamas
and I get dumped in the bed
and I get on Twitter and I was like,
hey, there's a party at work?
I didn't even know.
It was way crazier than the real party.
It looked like it.
Jetski was DJing.
I saw that.
People were actually dancing.
There was a lot of hors d'oeuvres, too.
So many hors d'oeuvres.
There was too many hors d'oeuvres.
They were aggressive with the hors d'oeuvres.
There was the right amount of hors d'oeuvres.
There was a lot of hors d'oeuvres.
They were miniature.
They were so miniature.
Mini pork tacos.
Did you see the taco?
You guys were going to the hors d'oeuvres up there?
There were so many hors d'oeuvres.
I was working at my desk, and they came over to my desk with them. into an hors d'oeuvres up there? I was working
at my desk and they came over to my desk with
them. There were hors d'oeuvres for days, Owen.
What? And the tacos were this big.
Tacos were in a line.
I was here the whole time.
And what was it for? It was just for the hell of it?
It was a client party. I heard it.
It was for clients, but everybody
we had was up there getting drunk. I think Tico got
drunk, which... Tico came in specifically for the party.
No, it's a big party of Tico drinks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She came in for the party.
Didn't come-
Well, us three are going to go to South by Southwest with her.
Are you?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
We're going to Austin, Texas.
As recently as this upcoming Wednesday.
Us three, like Cantaloupe.
So when are y'all going?
When is that?
We're leaving this upcoming wednesday
is that a good idea going to south by southwest well no it's for content are you gonna watch some
independent films really didn't answer the question is that a good idea no no patrick
and tico no right will not be a good idea rando why do you wear your sweatpants so high up i don't
know when i get to doing shows um i think I just it just gradually comes up and maybe I scratch
sweaty calves like Vanessa Carlton
in the White House
it's hard to keep these
these beauties covered up
yeah nice calves
I have great calf muscles
like cutting meat with them
maybe relax a little
I've never heard someone say that
married
just like chill a little bit. I've never heard someone say that. Yeah, what? Married.
Just, like, chill a little bit.
Sorry.
His son is here.
Oh, my God.
Brandon's son is so cute.
He's very cute.
He coughs like a classic six-year-old. He coughs like a six-year-old.
He curls his tongue.
Oh, it's not Tommy.
I have a six-year-old.
My six-year-old is here.
Jimmy John.
Okay, we're just going to say his name?
We're not going to do that?
Caitlin's taking care of him so well.
Yeah.
She's the best aunt.
Yeah, yeah.
So I got her a job here so she can watch my six-year-old when I bring him to work.
Is he an iPad kid?
Yeah, he is.
They all are.
I saw his iPad.
Every kid.
Every kid.
Ever?
Every kid.
That's a kid right now is either an iPad kid or a YouTube kid.
But there's a difference between having an iPad and being an iPad kid.
Yeah, I guess there is, but I don't know.
iPad kids play it in downward doggy.
You have some weird takes about iPads.
Yoga position.
I'm serious.
They do?
The most intensive iPad kids play it in like a downward doggy position.
They almost like bow down to it and worship it.
Incredible.
And their nose is an inch from the
screen he doesn't do that he'll sit up
normally and he doesn't get into it he's
not as big of an iPad kid as Tommy is
huge the red ring around their lips
always I think my kids gonna be a
PlayStation 5 kid I'm not gonna go easy
on him from the jump you bought one yet
are you tippy I don't know if you're
gonna be able to get it immediately by
the time by the time he can walk he going to have a controller in his hands.
Don't you think by the time you have a kid who can walk, it'll be PlayStation 6 or 7?
By the time I have a kid, I'll get a PlayStation 5 because they're hard to nab right now.
They are hard to nab.
Yeah.
I've been trying to nab one for a couple years.
I've been daydreaming for my whole life about just beating the brakes off my son in FIFA.
Dude, I saw the most
annoying dad ever the other day.
I was in Chinatown and he was taking his
three-year-old to get a haircut there
and making him order his own haircut.
Mandarin.
Mandarin?
This kid's two and he's just yelling at the kid
to like, Chinese?
Was the kid Chinese? No.
It was white dad, white son.
The kid was ordering and trying to make him worldly or trying to make him work or what?
How do you order a haircut?
Also, I hate when you walk into the haircut place and they're like, what do you want?
I feel the same way.
I just say cut my hair.
There's one option.
Yeah, I say the same thing.
I always go, dude, like, what do you think will look good?
Like, please, you're the expert.
And they're always like, whatever you feel like.
Oh, I was just talking about when you get to, like, the desk.
Oh, yeah.
You're like, what are you here for?
And you're like, yeah, I'm here for insurance.
I want my fucking haircut.
But then after he got the haircut, he was quizzing his other kid outside on maps of Asia.
Well, how long were you around this dad?
That's what my parents did to me.
It was like Sunday. I was having a coffee in Chinatown.
Observing this dad and his kids.
I see these parents
pushing their kids to learn all this
stuff young. Maybe I'm a shit mom.
I just don't have the energy for it.
We're just going to walk in loops in the apartment.
Do you have a little tablet?
Is your kid too young to be an iPad kid?
He's too young to be an iPad.
No, he grabs my phone and he's too young to be an icab no he
grabs my phone and he like he's turning one next week he knows to scroll it they know like right
away what the hell they're doing like he opens the camera he like does all that stuff i would
visit kids who would had no skills they couldn't point or wave or blink and they would be able to
use the ipad to the fullest. They couldn't blink on purpose?
On command.
They didn't reach that milestone yet.
They just were able to blink.
It's costly staring at you.
They're a fish, basically.
Yeah, like blink on command.
Hey, blink.
Blink for me.
They just don't.
I never know what to say to kids.
Like, I never know how to greet them,
especially if they're below 10.
I hit them with like a what up.
And I don't know how to. It's awkward.
Were you good with kids before you worked with kids or you just good
with kids now? I had to adapt.
You just immediately took to my son
like you'd always been friends.
I want to see KB hang out with
Brandon's 6 year old. Yeah I don't know how to
do that. I'm jealous of that.
You've got to flip a switch.
You go in the house and you turn on your baby voice.
Were you a babysitter?
No.
KB would be a good camp counselor.
Yeah.
No.
No.
I could see that.
I don't know why you said that.
There's that feeling, though, when you walk in a house and a dog doesn't like you and
you feel like, oh, I'm being, like, everybody's going to think I'm a, it's like you and you feel like oh i'm being like everybody's gonna think i'm a it's
like the i think you should leave that that show where like you feel like you're a piece of shit
if the dog doesn't like you if you're weird around a kid because you're right like how do you act
around a kid sometimes like if you're not around them all the time you don't know and you're like
oh god if this kid doesn't like me and like you can tell the vibe is off everyone's gonna think
i'm a piece of shit like there's weird weird pressure. 100%. I never know the follow-up question.
It's like, so what do you...
Kids have no bias, too.
So if a little kid thinks you're a piece of shit,
you're probably a piece of shit.
Piece of shit, yeah.
I was stressed meeting your son this morning.
I called him the wrong kid name.
I said Tommy, and then it was off from there.
I fucked up.
Well, he's fine.
He doesn't give a shit.
His aunt's here, and he's running around.
I don't know.
It's always weird.
Like, I bring Tommy in here, and I give him that gift and let him come have fun.
And the other kids, I forget.
You know, I have three other kids.
So I have to make it up to them.
So today's his big day.
And when I get home, I'm taking the nine-year-old, and we're going and buying new fish that I
can possibly kill in a week.
Oh, that's fun.
It'll be fun.
It'll be fun. We'll have fish for a week it'll be uh be a good time buying new fish you you don't know about the fish kill so we we had five fish my nine-year-old had five fish
in an aquarium i bought him a brand new aquarium much bigger well i pictured this like a country
thing like you have a pond in your these are These are goldfish. These are not fish fish. I totally misunderstood that.
You're very stupid.
Do you live in Manhattan, Brando?
No, I live in New Jersey.
I live in New Jersey.
He has a family of six.
That's insane.
Not everyone's a Mariano.
Mariano.
I don't even know that name. You don't have a handful of penthouses. No, we're a Mariano. I don't even know that name.
Got a handful of penthouse.
No, we're not Mariano.
Yeah.
Shit.
Yup, yup.
All right, so what else is going on, Madeline?
Not much.
Chillin'.
Alex and Kim have been gone all week.
Alex is on vacation with Jordan right now, isn't she?
Yeah, they're in Aspen.
Getting to know each other better in Aspen.
Are they really?
Yeah.
Aspen rules.
I've never been.
Best friends.
What do you mean?
They hated each other.
They're getting tattoos today.
They're getting tattoos and they just asked each other how long they wait to fill up their gas tanks in their car.
Pardon?
That sentence didn't make sense at all.
So, you know, there's two types of people, like the people who wait until your gas...
There's not.
No, no, no, no.
There's not.
Oh, there's not.
There's infinite types of people.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I love it.
Infinite.
There's never been...
For them...
There's never been only two types of people.
You can't use anything.
You cannot find a single thing that splits people into groups.
One or two.
Okay. Not a single... So, there's... It doesn't exist. Thank you. There's these people into groups. Not a single thing.
So there's...
It doesn't exist.
Thank you.
There's these types of people.
It does not exist.
Thank you.
Oh, relax.
I've been holding that in for a while, too.
I wasn't going to unload on Madeline, who did it so innocently.
I love Madeline.
No, Madeline, shut up.
Everybody tweets there's two types of people.
There's not.
There is two genders, but continue.
Alex is the type of person that waits till her gas
light comes on and jordan doesn't let it go below quarter of a tank that's what they were finding
out about each other in aspen right now and they're getting tattoos today i hope they dig
deeper on that wasn't there that crazy shaquille o'neal video the other day that segment where
he's talking about how it's cheaper that's's right. Go ahead and pay $20 now.
$20 every time.
It gets to half.
And then Kenny's like, no, that doesn't work.
Math adds up in my brain.
And they couldn't quite figure it out.
And Charles Barkley was just chilling over there in the cut,
just laughing at both of them.
And there might be two types.
It might just be Shaq and not Shaq.
I'm Shaq.
I'm for sure Shaq.
That guy's been famous for 30-something years,
and he's seven foot tall.
He's completely different than everybody else,
and he's just delightful.
He's just a likable motherfucker.
He's kind of sensitive.
To what?
When they're chopping it up with Barkley,
he can dish it but can't take it.
Well, that's actually true, yeah.
You know he's an EDM DJ now, too?
Yeah, he's playing.
He's playing at festivals.
Bree's going to play?
Yeah, Bree's going to DJ with him.
He plays with the hard shit, like Lost Land.
Isn't he an actual certified police officer somewhere?
Yeah, he's that as well.
He did that as a gimmick or something,
but he actually is legally allowed to be a cop.
He was my spring concert my freshman year of college.
He gets upset if people call him Shaq or Shaquille O'Neal the weekend of concerts.
He likes to go by Diesel.
Jay Diesel.
I respect that.
Yeah, I respect that too.
Respect the artist.
You're that famous, you have to just try out new personas.
Is he going to be at South By?
I would assume so, yeah.
I hope he's at South By.
I'd catch a set.
What are you guys going to do?
I don't like you calling it South By.
We're calling it.
That's what it's called.
It's South By Southwest.
Swaggy.
South By?
Yeah, South By.
What is that?
A bar?
No, it's a huge festival.
It used to be a music festival.
Now it's just like a culture festival, right?
Yeah, it's like culture.
All sorts of.
Everybody going to Austin and acting like they live in Austin.
Austin's like the new hot spot.
I think it's the old hot spot.
I think it already is.
Yeah, it's been.
It's too expensive now.
I guess I'm behind.
Jim and Pam Halpert moved there like 10 years ago.
That's so true.
I feel like every TikTok girl I see now is moving to Austin.
Yeah, they are.
The New York influencers are leaving for Hoboken in Austin, Texas.
You aren't kidding.
Look at Diesel.
I mean, yeah.
And Brie. Brie. Oh, my God, Texas. You aren't kidding. Look at Diesel. And Brie.
Oh my god.
Brie and Diesel. Wait, what?
What?
It's crazy that that's to scale too.
Wait.
What's that just the tip thing over there?
Is that the guy's name?
Where?
Sorry, I wasn't talking about it.
It's actually what it says.
Yeah, I think that's the other performer.
Brie, Just the Tip, and Diesel.
My angle, that looks like a little kid.
Squat up.
My angle.
That'd be tight, dude, to have a 10-year-old DJ.
That would be fucking, I'd go to that show.
What's that called?
Doggy Jams 2022?
Yeah, it's a sub-dog.
Sub-dogs.
What city's that in?'s at ecu greenville
performing to only dogs yeah that would also rule that would be pretty cool yeah just just
he's dj music that we can't hear put your paws up
uh all right so what's going on this weekend you You got anything big, Kyle? No, I got nothing.
Owen?
I'm going to the Big East tonight.
Oh, you went to Providence 1 yesterday, right?
Yeah.
I saw you rocking your Providence jersey yesterday.
Mm-hmm.
Looking good, you know, repping for the city.
The Friar mascot is without question the most haunting mascot in all of sports.
Really?
Yeah.
It is fucked.
It's voted the creepiest mascot.
It is fucked up.
Pull up a picture if you can.
See you, buddy.
It is legitimately fucked up.
It's very handsome.
Thank you.
He looks just like me.
He really does.
Yeah, it doesn't make sense to wear a mascot of a human.
Yes.
It's one of the most fucked up things I've ever seen.
We played a game in Providence.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, and his mouth is quite a gape.
What?
Aren't friars like priests?
It looks like a bad guy in an A24 movie.
What is a friar?
What level of Catholicism is a friar?
I don't know if they're friars.
Do they have the bald spots?
If you're a friar, you could be a priest or a brother.
There's different levels, but there's Franciscan and Dominican of when you're a kid and you're getting fucked in the
catholic church or friars something you gotta worry about no they didn't they're not around
the church that often i feel like they're like out doing things yeah they're friars are like the
the yeah they're not the diddlers you get raped buyers are prior you probably deserve right yeah
they don't necessarily
attack. Yeah, because friars
are Jesuits. They're teaching higher education, so
they're actually going for the over 17.
Now a monsignor, on the
other hand.
That's the monsignor's fault.
It's not the child's fault.
But a friar...
They put a friar on the
jumbotron yesterday though at MSG
and he did a sign of the cross and then finished his beer.
Shut up.
That's metal. That's cool.
Can friars get married?
No. Deacons can
get married.
What about like Hillsong
preachers?
They can do whatever they want.
They can do literally whatever they want.
It can be Justin Bieber. Him in the news, that guy,
that Hillsong preacher, he was just in the news
because now he lives in some shithole little
house. It'd still be a great house
for me, but he went from living
in this
crappy little house now. His whole life
has fallen apart kind of thing.
He deserves it.
Rebranding as a douchebag?
Or is he just still...
His hair is real long now.
I don't even think he had to rebrand.
He was that off rip.
Rebranding as poor seems like a terrible idea.
It's frustrating when you see people
talk about downsizing and it would still be
an upgrade for most people.
The article was shitting on his
pathetic little house and I was like,
I would kill for that.
It's only 4,000 square feet.
That was my Halloween costume years ago
as a Hillsong preacher.
I just went priest upper half
and then ripped jeans lower half.
I mean, you are a Hillsong preacher.
I could see you being in a youth Christian band.
Totally.
One of those very skinny mics
that are coming out of your ear.
Yeah, 100%.
I went to
a catholic high school super catholic high school it sucked yeah i went to 20 years of catholic
education yeah 13 man i had ccd my whole life till 12th grade and my mom made me altar serve
all the way through 12th grade and like if somebody wouldn't because by then you're hung
over on some days or whatever somebody wouldn't show up my mom be like you better get up there right now and i had like the braces and the
greasy bangs i'm like mom please don't make me what were you like you spoke as a child
kate learned to talk when she was 17. it took me a while you You got to go to KBE to learn how to speak. Yeah.
Yeah.
I went to Catholic elementary school
and then my priest
was murdered
by the janitor.
Okay.
What?
Wait,
when I was in grade...
122?
That took a while.
Yeah.
I was in fifth grade.
I was on a field trip
and I came back
and there was police
everywhere
and it turns out
my janitor
stabbed the priest 14 times
in the back.
Why?
What was the motive?
In the back?
Yeah.
They're not in the front.
There was a bunch of different
unknown reasons,
but apparently,
I guess the Catholic Church
does background checks
every four to six years
or something like that
and the janitor that they hired,
and it's crazy
because he was actually
such a nice guy.
Which one, the janitor or the priest?
The janitor.
Everyone loved him.
Murders are very nice.
Super clean.
It turned out that he had like a, I don't know if he changed his name,
but he had a bunch of like stuff on his record that was really bad,
like assault against a mother.
You wouldn't expect that from a church janitor, you know.
Oh, never.
And I guess, so the priest was like in charge of hiring and firing
And he was like you're gonna get fired
And
Marked his ass
I knew a kid in high school
Who
Moved to like India
He was a track star moved to India with his mother
And decapitated her
And beat the case and then went back
To high school and still
Was a member of the track team.
Time, how did he beat the case?
If somebody knows the real facts,
and if I got anything wrong, feel free to let me know.
But yeah, I think that was the story.
Did he beat the case because of how fast he was?
It was South Fayette High School in PA.
If he didn't do that, I'd feel bad.
I said, did he beat the case because of how fast he was?
Yeah, zinger.
You just got that joke?
Also.
That joke was easy to get from the rip.
It took me a second.
Okay, all right.
It's okay.
It's Friday.
Yeah, I think he clean decapitated his mother.
Whoa.
Interesting.
How do you clean decapitate?
I'll feel like a huge asshole if I was gone.
How do you get off of that? Yeah, how do you clean decap? I'll feel like a huge asshole if I was on. How do you get off of that?
Yeah, how do you beat that?
I mean, if OJ could beat that case.
He didn't decapitate her.
Well, he almost did.
He pretty much tried.
Fuck, he might be listening.
I feel bad.
If he just stabbed her to death and not decapitate her.
That's his own fault.
It's a strong accusation.
You're almost giving him credit for something he might not have done.
You're saying he was a really good murderer.
And he's not in jail.
Yeah, so I feel like...
Here it is.
South Fayette teen gets three years.
Oh, he got three years for killing...
That's it?
Mom.
Then he's back out.
What did the mom do that she kind of...
I'm sure she did nothing. Yeah, that's a good... What did she do, that she kind of... I'm sure she did nothing.
Yeah, that's a good...
What did she do, Rob?
She probably said, do your homework.
Yeah, why was it her fault?
Why did he only get three years?
Probably because he was a minor.
I don't know if he did.
If you're a minor and you commit a really serious crime,
usually you get a lesser sentence.
How much do you know about this case?
Three years, though?
Yeah, you're not getting your facts straight.
Gypsy Rose has been in jail for longer than that? Yeah, you're not getting your facts straight. Gypsy Rose has been
in jail for longer than that. Yeah.
Gypsy Rose. I love how you're like
blown away by the unfairness of the justice system.
You're like, what?
Wait a minute. Oh, okay.
I was wrong.
He attacked her while she was sleeping and wrapped
her body in a bed sheet and threw
her into a sand dune.
Wait, what?
Wait, did he kill her first?
Now I feel terrible.
He did not decapitate her.
Is she dead though?
If you're listening,
I'm so sorry.
Was she dead?
Estopian sand dune.
Yeah.
You had a sand dune nearby?
Did he kill her though?
I wouldn't kill somebody.
Wouldn't that,
did you just wake up?
Just covered in sand.
Well, maybe buried alive.
Oh, maybe buried alive.
If you're buried under a certain amount of sand, you can't get out.
Some of them are really steep. Maybe she tumbled.
Maybe there was quicksand.
Isn't she waking up at that point? Naturally buried herself.
If there's quicksand in a
natural sand dunes in rural
Pennsylvania? They were in India.
Come on.
You fucked up the synopsis.
Nation of India.
Yeah, I didn't read the game notes.
Speaking of religion, something just occurred to me today,
and I didn't have the heart to talk to him about it on Pick Central,
but Ben Mintz is rallying the troops for this Hogs for the Cause in New Orleans.
Yeah.
And it's a big, huge charity.
You know, Hogs for the Cause are going to be cooking a lot of pigs,
a lot of that.
He's got Team Porknoy.
Dave Jewish.
Mm.
Uh-oh.
Not halal.
I'm not sure that's...
I'm sure Dave noticed it.
You can still support other religions.
The mince heads will let it slide.
I'm letting it slide as we speak.
Pork's not kosher.
Did you see the picture of when he gave the house tour?
With that pig in the front?
Uh-uh.
I'd turn and run if I walked into that house and I was an orphan.
Wait, what?
He gave a house tour of the charity, and in the opening room, they have this sculpture of a pig that looks very realistic, but it has a tuxedo on.
It's almost scarier than the friar, to be totally honest with you.
Yeah.
I don't like that.
Imagine if you were a kid in an orphanage, and then you got adopted by Ben Mintz.
That's the best thing that could happen.
That would be the best thing ever.
You and Billy just hang out all the time in their little apartment complex.
You own a dog all of a sudden?
Yeah, all of a sudden you're a dog owner.
Kyle, you were the only one in the group chat not to react to the video I sent last night.
What'd you send?
I just ignore all text.
Oh, okay.
Well, don't play it.
This one was just for us.
For me and you?
No, just for the fellas. Just for the fellas.
Oh, we wouldn't get it.
It was Tommy saying, if that ass fat can't be.
Oh, what?
Yeah.
Come on. All right. Let's play it. I can't Oh, what? Yeah. Come on.
All right.
Let's play it.
I can't.
Why not?
Yeah, play that.
His mom found it.
If his mom found out, ooh.
If his mama saw that.
Yeah, boy.
He was smoking in here.
We were saying fuck her ass.
Ass is mild.
Yeah, ass is donkey.
Yeah.
I was not a cursing child.
I was very good.
I was a huge cursing child
I was not allowed
Nobody's allowed to curse as a child are they?
I couldn't even say shut up or sucks
Like that sucks if I said that
I said this sucks in 6th grade
And my dad sent me to my room
Him?
Yeah
I didn't know he was like that
I thought he was one of the boys
Second grade coach pitch Dr. I thought he was one of the boys.
Second grade coach pitch, Dr. Ned Miller, he's a doctor now, called something I hit towards the outfield.
He was a shortstop.
Made a great play, and I just stopped and I said,
that son of a bitch, and my mom got all pissed.
She got embarrassed.
My fifth grade teacher would say,
when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me.
It wasn't just her.
I always liked my first.
She didn't coin that phrase.
Did she claim it was hers?
No.
I never said that.
I had a kindergarten teacher.
Don't put words in my mouth.
I had a kindergarten teacher.
She wrote this little jingle to remember the alphabet.
It was like A, B, C, E, E, and then it kept going.
I haven't heard that one.
Okay.
It was just my kindergarten teacher.
If that ass fat, KB gonna have that.
I love that.
KB gonna have that.
That was for us.
You didn't realize that.
Thank you so much.
I didn't watch it.
Do you have the pig?
I saw the pig a second ago.
Look at this fucking pig.
The pig here, this is team Florida Q.
I think that pig's fine.
That pig is terrifying.
Last year, so if you get a million dollars raised,
you get to be the late pig.
Why is there a Christmas tree?
No thanks.
That pig looks like a scary movie pig.
Why is there a house?
Everybody's going to live in a house and cook barbecue together?
That's Mint's house?
No, no, no.
That would be cool if they just gave the orphans their own house.
Is it for orphans?
It solves the problem.
Is the cause orphan?
I don't know.
We might have made that up.
What's the cause?
The cause is children's cancer.
Kids with cancer. This is cancer. Right now, they've even got somebody who's been here in the NICU.
Kids with cancer.
A family's been here.
This is depressing.
Can we not watch?
Sorry, they actually have cancer.
I thought they were orphans.
Yeah.
My bad.
It's either way, you know.
Six of one, half dozen of the other are there.
Yeah.
No.
Shit.
Are you suppressing awareness, Brandon?
I did not know you were here.
I didn't know you were here.
Hey, you got to start talking.
All right.
I'm right here. I understand that now, but I didn't know you were here. I didn't know you were here. You gotta start talking. I'm right here. I understand
that now, but I didn't know you were here at all.
Okay. We're really getting the focus of you
trying to kill more kids. I'm not trying to kill
kids. I kill dogs, not kids.
Young dogs. And fish.
And fish. Thank you. I'm out of line.
Brando, I can see you being like a big game
hunter. Yeah.
I'm not. I come from a family in a
town of all hunters. my family's huge hunters
but i i couldn't i could never i could never kill an animal no like carson wentz vibes oh you can
never kill an animal like act on on purpose i don't have the ability is what you're saying right
right no i just i couldn't do it i i never could i would always act like my gun was jammed i would
always act like oh sorry my gun doesn't work oh they would always act like, oh, sorry, my gun doesn't work. They finally realized I was
a gigantic pussy.
I never could either. I never
could hunt. It's so fucked
up and sad. Ever shot a gun, Kate?
Yeah.
A few times.
I actually grew up around guns.
When I was a little kid, I grew up going up to the
mountains in the Poconos, and I was
shooting.22s probably by the time I was like six.
Yeah, I was too.
It's so cool.
.22s aren't that bad.
And then you get to the bigger ones.
What kind of gun is that?
It's a smaller round.
Very small rifle.
Okay.
But one of the things I love, have you ever been skeet shooting?
Yes.
Rules.
Have you ever done the golf-like version?
No.
So you get like one of those country-ass golf carts, and there's 18 holes like a golf course,
but each one is like a little stand where the clay pigeon goes in a different direction.
So hole number one, you don't know which way the clay bird's going to fly up,
and then you cruise along to hole number two, and you don't know which way the bird's going to fly,
and it's this whole course where you do it.
That's wildly dangerous.
It is.
So my dad has a dead man's corneas in his eyes.
He's pretty much blind.
I'm sorry, what?
Yeah.
He got a cornea transplant.
He's blind as a bat, and he does it.
He'll be like, hey, did I hit it?
He's looking back at me while he's firing this thing.
Wait, is he?
Is that like a saying for corneas?
Do corneas work?
They work, yeah.
That is insane.
Sounds like a Pirates of the Caribbean movie.
Those three words together.
I got another one.
Man's cornea.
That's what run DMC stands for.
It's a little known fact shooting guns is so fun
I've had that itch lately
I want to go to a gun race
oh god
it's so fun
we went to
on Rediscovering America
we went to this
some guy's backyard
in rural Illinois
and we just shot for
10 hours
it's so much fun
yeah
it's addicting
when you shot that
did you immediately
have like an urge to shoot something
automatic yes i wanted to like go to the next so we used to your tax dollars at work when i was in
the military we'd go on these um you go to training whatever and whatever weapon it was sometimes we
had extra ammo and it was a huge pain in the ass to take the ammo back to these like we have these
huge ammo areas whatever it's a huge pain in the ass to return it you have to count every single
round blah blah blah so instead the leaders would be like fuck it let's just just burn it all now
you would get to just stand there and go on like three round bursts or whatever and just like
and just like no training value to it whatsoever but you would just
let it rip fire into the sky and into the ground. Whatever. It was a delight.
Is there a place that has the Humvee 50 Cal?
Because that's sort of the creme de la creme I want.
I feel like there's places in Texas when you're in Austin.
I feel like there's places in Texas and down south where you can take your bachelor party and go and do shit like that.
Go kill hogs with that shit.
Yeah.
When I lived in Texas, the guy that was our team photographer, he was in charge of pest control on a ranch, and he would fly around in a Blackhawk helicopter with an AR-15 and
just mow down.
You do that for days.
Mow them down.
I didn't even put a dent in the feral hog population.
Yeah, those things are pretty serious.
Didn't he just did that on outdoors, didn't she?
I just saw the video of her in the helicopter.
Feral hogs are so scary.
I didn't realize that that was a thing, that they're invasive species.
They're in my house.
They're like murder.
They kill people, right?
Their teeth are so scary.
It would take a lot, but yes, they can.
They can gore you.
They'll charge you.
Yeah, and they fuck like crazy.
Oh, I knew that because they're an invasive species, so they take over every area that they're in.
That's insane.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You can kill literally two million of them.
And it wouldn't mean anything?
Well, it's laissez-faire. You can kill as many as you want.
There's no... There's no hunting rules
or anything? There's no rules.
They make such a...
Laissez-faire was an interesting phrase to use there.
Yeah, and then you said, yeah, you've been using
French terms.
You're trying to...
Dropping some things on us today.
Oh, you explained c'est la vie to mepping some things on us today. Oh, you explained
c'est la vie to me
this morning.
I did.
It means go off
queen in French.
Yeah.
That means slick.
Was it really?
Yeah.
That's the c'est la vie.
Direct translation.
Ah.
Yeah.
Wait, but yeah,
how did...
What was the laissez-faire?
I don't really know
what laissez-faire means.
That was the point.
You don't know
what laissez-faire means.
I always interpreted
laissez-faire being
like anything goes. Yeah. Oh, quay bon means. I always interpreted laissez-faire being like
anything goes.
Yeah.
Oh,
quay bono.
I thought c'est la vie
is anything goes.
Oh,
c'est la vie is
Besides slay queen.
Yeah.
Or go off queen.
Slay queen as well,
of course.
No,
no.
C'est la vie.
What does c'est la vie mean?
Anything goes.
So Enrique explained it to me
and he was like,
I'm going out this weekend.
And then he waited for me to say to him, like, c'est la vie.
Okay.
It means such is life.
Oh.
Yeah, but I was saying it to Enrique, so it's like go off queen to me.
It means go off queen.
I mean, yeah, like go off queen.
So what does laissez-faire mean?
Laissez-faire means like.
The government's hands off, right?
It is what it is.
Like it'll happen.
Whatever happens, happens. So I was right. I was in the neighborhood. Yeah, but there was no real point to using it like that. Laissez-faire means the government's hands off it is what it is like it'll happen whatever happens happens
so I was right
I was in the neighborhood
yeah but there was no real point
to using it like that
but laissez-faire is like
it's okay to not be okay
yeah
realize realize realize
yeah I'm not good with languages
I got banned
from fucking languages
what?
like in general
no you didn't
the US president said
Rudy
Rudy Chenda is not
allowed to learn a language. What happens if you would say
Ola right now?
Shot in the head. In eighth grade, they said
he sat me down and they said, you're done.
No more languages for you. You're done.
I got, they hit me with a dyslexia
and ADD and they were like, it's over for you.
Oh, that's so unfair.
Were they not dyslexic in other countries?
Well, they were just like, it's like, they literally said Arabic. Yeahic in other countries? Well, they were dyslexic.
They literally said Arabic.
Yeah, I tried to do Latin after that to prove them wrong.
Worst mistake of my life.
Ooh, Latin. Not worth it.
That's the hardest one for anybody, right?
Yes.
What's worse, Latin or me?
I took Chinese in middle school.
What about college?
You had to do some foreign language stuff in college.
He was an athlete.
He didn't have to do anything.
I told you, I got banned.
I understand for your high school.
I'm going along with that premise, even though I still don't believe it.
But in college, your rules don't apply anymore from high school.
So did you take them?
No, they said you don't have to do language.
Got banned from language.
They said you don't have to do it.
So if rediscovering America, we're going, well, that wouldn't make sense.
If rediscovering the world, we're going to Spain,
if you needed a cameraman, you couldn't go.
I'd have to wear a bib bib or like a yellow jacket.
Yeah, yeah.
It says like banned from foreign language.
Look like a caddy.
Yeah, yeah.
They'd be like-
Master's caddy.
Only English.
Yeah, no habla.
Oh.
Oh, you just used it.
It's because the only thing I learned, the only thing I learned in Spanish class after
eight years was puedo tomar agua.
Oh my God, get him.
There's water in there somewhere.
Call him in! That means
can I go get a drink of water? I'm literally married
to a Spanish professor.
You're married to a polygot.
She teaches Spanish and English as a second language.
That's what she teaches. Wait, what's a polygot?
I don't know. You speak a bunch of languages.
She speaks French, Japanese.
Oh, that's sick, Brenda.
I can't speak a word of Spanish.
Does she talk shit to you?
No, cheese and water.
Esso and agua.
I know that.
Yeah.
Lauren Conrad's husband DM'd me and then deleted the DM before I could respond.
What?
Wait, what?
Today?
This was a few nights ago.
I never got it off my chest.
Who is Lauren Conrad's husband?
He was in like an emo band.
What did he say? All Time Low is Lauren Conrad's husband? He was in like a emo band. What did he say?
All time low?
Lauren Conrad from the hills?
The thing was, I saw the DM and it said sent two messages so I didn't get to see it.
I didn't open it yet.
And then it was like this message is unavailable
because the reader... Googled his name
and then I went back and it was deleted.
Wow. Which is a stupid
feature. Maybe he got nervous.
So now you'll never know.
That sucks.
But I assume your curiosity has peaked as hell.
William Tell is his name.
Oh.
No, it's...
What band was he in?
Something corporate.
Whoa.
What the fuck?
Well, he's a hot ass dude.
I mean, if he was with Lauren Conrad, I imagine.
So Lauren Conrad was the OG crush.
Yeah, she's got Cole's money now.
She was the OG cool girl, too.
Remember her Eric Andre interview?
Yes.
We play that.
Yes.
It's so funny.
I was lying about that.
I don't know why.
You know what?
I just thought girls would be attracted to that.
You should have picked a more relevant girl.
You should have just said Lauren Conrad, not her fucking thrilled that was like my god i limit for believable
right okay you guys believed it i did i wholeheartedly niche enough where yeah yeah
yeah i guess if you said like jennifer lauren's husband that wouldn't really make any sense
william tell was perfect.
Dylan O'Brien randomly.
It was.
Wait, Dylan O'Brien DM'd you?
Dylan O'Brien randomly DM'd me, and I didn't see it.
Shut up.
Are you trying to run it up the score on you?
Yeah.
I didn't see it for eight months.
And of all things, you know what it was about?
What?
Barstool athletes.
And he came to me.
He's like, yo, I got a guy.
And I didn't see it for eight months.
And I DMed him back.
I was like, my bad.
But also, why me?
Yeah.
It was so fucking random.
Does he follow you?
What do you mean he has a guy?
He's like, I got an athlete.
And I don't know why me of all people.
Is this like the thing that literally everyone gets accepted as long as you fill out a survey?
Yeah.
And I was fucking confused at the beginning
Well, I don't think we knew that no one knew it was so confusing the beginning
We thought it might be a gigantic thing or it's still a big thing
But at the beginning we didn't know what it was gonna be. I was like fucking Teen Wolf and my DM is so weird
Dylan O'Brien's Teen Wolf. Yeah
He wasn't it was but he was the other guy best friend. Yeah, he was the he wasn't It was Tyler Posey, but he was the Best friend. Yeah, he was
He wasn't a wolf. He was just
Oh, yeah, but he like
Eventually got some powers some superpowers. Yeah, he like gets
Taken over by like a demon. It's a TV show or a movie TV show
Yeah
Like 2000 like 14. Yeah, it was actually really good. Yeah, it right. Like mid-2008, 2000. Yeah. Like 2014.
Yeah.
It was actually really good.
Yeah, it was fucking actually a good show.
There was vampires in it.
Yeah.
Vampire Diaries.
That was good.
Teen Wolf, the movie, was just about Teen Wolf.
And the MTV show said we're going to be about everything else.
What?
There was a movie called Teen Wolf.
In the show Teen Wolf, there is a Teen Wolf.
I feel like the movie from the 80s and the MTV show are not.
There's boobies in that movie.
The premise of TV shows is to take a plot and put it in a high school.
You're exactly right.
Yes.
100% correct.
And as we all know in TV, high school problems are the most important problems you can have.
Yes.
They're doing a national treasure. When you figure out that you're successful. Yeah, but it's just they're in jail and in high school problems are the most important problems you can have. They're doing a national treasure.
High school? Yeah, but it's just
they're in jail and in high school.
That's a huge
spin. Not only are they in high school
now, but they're also in jail.
How can they be in high school if they're in jail?
It's one or the other. Maybe it's juvie.
That's what they're doing with Riverdale.
Riverdale now, it's like they
sped it up seven years,
but now they all work in the high school.
So is Riverdale...
What's up, buddy?
Oh, they did that in One Tree Hill.
I didn't watch One Tree Hill.
I did back in the day.
All of a sudden, the next episode's five years later,
and he's just on the Bobcats.
Yeah, so now all the Riverdale characters work at the high school,
but they're like 26.
Riverdale, the modern telling of the Archie thing?
Yes.
Archie comics.
The highs and lows
of high school football.
Dropped out of school in fifth grade to
run drugs for my nana. How old do you feel right now?
Oh, well, then you don't know the
ultimate triumphs
of the highs and lows
of high school football.
That guy has a kid.
AJ Apa is his father.
I hate his last name.
Appa.
That reminds me of Appa.
Appa.
Yip-yip.
From Avatar Last Airbender.
I loved Appa.
Yip-yip.
Bad pass.
11 seconds left.
Oh, I hope Indiana loses.
Are there vampires in that show as well?
Oh, no.
Avatar Last Airbender?
No.
Oh, Riverdale.
Riverdale?
No, they're... Well, they did a crossover with... Isn't one of the families a vampire? Oh, no. Avatar The Last Airbender? No. Riverdale. Riverdale, no.
They're... Well, they did a crossover with...
One of the families of Empire?
Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
The pasty ones who killed somebody in the beginning.
They were in a doomsday cult for a little bit.
I feel like there's a doomsday cult in way too many shows.
Ooh, speaking of cult,
can I tell you this latest blog that I'm working on
that I'm not finishing?
Didn't I ramble to
you about this the other day so what so there have you seen the dance cult yes no you did not
so the clippers dancers the clippers halftime dancers they're in a religious cult okay some
of them crazy let me rewind and give you guys do you guys remember crumping what is it did you know
crumping stands for something something religion under christ, under Christ, blah, blah, blah.
What?
It's like religious breakdancing.
I always thought krumping was like when you moved your body really, really late.
It is, but I think it's krumping.
So the guy who created it, his dance name is like Tight Eyes or something like that.
Yeah, Tight Eyes.
Tight Eyes or Tight Eyes? Tight Eyes. Tight Eyes in old man's corner like Tight Eyes or something like that. Yeah, Tight Eyes. Tight Eyes or Tight Eyes?
Tight Eyes.
Tight Eyes and Old Man's Cornea?
Tight Eyes and Dead Man's Cornea.
Tight Eyes and Dead Man's Cornea.
Deadliest duo in the West.
So he started crumping.
And originally he was in another pretty much religious cult where that pastor ended up.
He brought in all these dancers and like
that's how they brought the youths in to this cult then that pastor ended up getting in trouble for
like sleeping with whatever blah blah blah well anyway fast forward a few years now there's this
cult called the 7m cult yep and their thing is to save 1 billion souls because the end of the
world is coming and there's seven ways to through which they're going to do it and one of them is like through financial and media um through me like gaining
control of the media it's like a media company it's a management so what they started this 7m
management and these tiktokers they started like a hype house for these tiktok dancers
and now the families are being like we haven't heard from our daughter she's like one of the
tiktok dancers oh yeah i think i saw that you haven't heard from our son like these dancers are these their friends and family are all saying like and
they're all in these they all used to be like hip-hop dancers and blah blah and now it's like
real clean cut they're all in front of the same house and like the 7m management owns real estate
they sell houses and they make them dance in these houses to like help sell them and show them off
and stuff what and so nobody's heard from them. Their Instagrams
are so weird. They go on lives
and read the Bible. They all
dress a certain way now. They're making them all marry
each other. All their Instagram bios say
God first. They're making them marry
each other? You look in the courts
and there's no actual thing showing they've
actually been married, but the head
guy is like, you two the relationship with the Clippers?
They're dancers for the halftime show.
They still do that?
So we should storm the court during a Clippers game and free them.
And free them.
Yes.
Free the Clippers dancers.
So they're trying to save the world via crumping.
So their thing is, it's kind of like how Scientology brings in celebrities
to bring in interest to the group.
They're using young, hot TikTok dancers to bring in interest in people and followers.
That's part of the vibe of it.
That would hook me because the crumping scene in Step Up is so fun.
That is what I think of when I think of crumping.
Moose from Step Up, he crumps.
What's happening?
You don't know Moose from Step Up? No. You don't know crumping. Yeah. Moose from Step Up, he crumps. What's happening? You don't know Moose from Step Up?
No.
You don't know crumping?
No.
When they go, ah.
No, we don't.
Yeah, it's like a lot of chest.
It's a lot of chest.
A lot of popping.
A lot of chest.
A lot of chest.
I think we're back to Shaq, because I think Shaq did that with the Jabba.
Yeah.
So maybe Step Up.
Shaq also uses wood body wash.
Yeah, he does.
Yeah, he does.
He does.
He started.
He uses it, too.
You should do it. I, he does. Yeah, he does. He does. Diesel uses it, too. You should do it.
I'm going to.
It's a new men's grooming line offering products across hair, body, beard, and shave.
My shampoo this morning was the, what's it called?
The Golden Hour, which is smooth brandy and Madagascar vanilla.
We drop a bunch of adjectives here.
Madagascar vanilla, coastal lavender, and sea salt.
That's summer house.
Fresh tracks is oak moss and pink pepper.
Those are some of our scents.
At Wood, we've got the shaving products, the hair products, the lotion,
pretty much everything you can do in a bathroom, we have a product for it.
So shop Wood at getwood.com or your local CVS.
This is crazy, but Madagascar vanilla was actually my Xbox.
That's an oxymoron.
That was my Xbox Live name.
What?
Yeah.
Kyle, try and say pink pepper upside down.
Pink pepper upside down?
What?
What?
Like that word.
Say it upside down.
What do you mean?
How do you say something upside down?
I was seeing if you knew how to do that.
Pink pepper?
Oh, I meant upside down.
Pink pepper?
Like repepk penink?
Dink pepper?
Reddip?
Sounds like Kate
when she would talk
as a child.
Yeah, yeah.
Beber.
Hmm.
Dink pepper?
Yeah, what's that from?
I haven't seen my kid
in a while.
I'm worried about him.
Caitlin's taking too care of me.
Yeah, but she's,
you know.
Oh, fuck me.
Oh, boy.
Oh, God. Yeah, we got to. I'm so nervous. Do y'all understand what this is? Yeah, I get it. Yeah. Yeah, but she's, you know. Oh, fuck me. Oh, boy. Oh, God.
That we got to.
I'm so nervous.
Y'all understand what this is?
Yeah, I get it.
Oh, no.
I sit next to Riley.
I know what the wet wheel is.
Yeah.
All right.
Just spin the goddamn thing.
So how long do you think you guys are going to do the wheel, like, till forever?
Oh, my God.
We're so dry.
We're a wheel show.
We're at the wheel's mercy, so i don't think we could ever get rid of
it because people would just no i'm a fan of the wheel are you yes i love the wheel the wheel gets
me through my day well the wheel is just wheels just first of all that could be my the vagina
wheel uh very dry a lot of dry i did not know where that was going
at all literally
what happens to your vagina if it lands on Lomo Sotano
still works
still works
still fitting
your period is
fries and steak
and rice come out of your pussy
Kyle don't talk about periods
Kyle dropping a heart he's so cute and steak and rice come out of your pussy. Kyle, don't talk about period. Jesus, Kyle.
Kyle dropping hard.
Oh, he's six.
He's so cute.
He is such a cutie patootie.
If you would have just shown me that kid,
I would have thought he was three years old.
Okay, well, he's six.
That's so cute.
He's got big hands.
That's one way to compliment a parent.
Not complimenting or insulting.
I would have guessed you've made half the progress.
Wait, I have a request.
Can we play Family Feud?
Like one round. We can.
Why are your legs double crossed?
Oh yeah, what the fuck?
Not again.
I don't know why I sit like that.
That's weird. Your legs were double crossed.
I remember you got called out for that last time.
I think I do it because when I get nervous.
Julie's clubhouse is going to have a field day.
You turn into a knot.
Not the bare ankles.
I'll just sit like this.
All right.
How about this?
Let the ladies play family feud.
Yes.
Or we can do men versus women. Oh, sit like this. All right, how about this? We'll let the ladies play Family Feud. Yes! Or we can do men versus women.
Oh, I like that.
Yeah, we'll do left side against right side.
I can't even get it.
Well, that's four against three.
Oh, well, it's an uneven number.
I won't play.
I'll just commentate.
Yeah, okay.
Okay.
All right, so if we can get up Family Feud,
we have Zaha on the ones and twos.
He's firing it up right now.
Who goes first? Is there any way we could play each other? Wellaha on the ones and twos. He's firing it up right now. Who goes
first? Is there any way we could play each other?
Obviously the ladies would go first.
Oh, you're facing a man.
That's our proxy.
It's up to you.
I'm going to read the question and you give us the answer.
I can't read it.
We can't play two players.
Name something about people that gets bigger as they
reach middle age.
Their foreheads.
Their noss. What?
Their noses.
Okay, Gia.
Yeah, forehead.
Both of those sound stupid.
Their net worth.
Yes.
Good one.
Get that paper up.
What?
Oh, their bellies.
Their bellies.
Bitch is stupid.
Like their stomachs.
Okay, belly weighs. Do we keep going?
Yeah.
Uh oh.
Their life insurance policy?
Their noses.
Why do you keep saying that?
Because your nose keeps growing.
Oh, it's your ears.
Listen to women.
Your legs.
Your legs keep growing.
What's bigger?
What?
Your house.
Sorry, guys.
Ladies, have you ever seen a grandpa's cock?
What are the other two?
Ego and I didn't see the...
Oh, ears and ego?
What the...
Ego and ears, okay.
I can't read this.
Still up.
You're still winning.
You're still winning.
Okay.
All right.
Oh, whoa, whoa. Okay. Round two. I'll read it because it's... Yeah, why is it so slow? Yeah, Brandon, can you read it? We can't read this. Still up. You're still winning. You're still winning. Okay. All right. Oh, whoa, whoa.
Okay.
Round two.
I'll read it because it's-
Yeah, why is this-
Yeah, Brando, can you read it?
We don't have it on this TV.
Oh, I was going to say, how do you guys read this?
All right.
So here is your question.
Double the points.
Is it still us?
Yeah.
Yes, you're still women.
Name something you'd find in an art class.
Paintbrushes.
Yep.
Paint.
Paint.
Easel.
Yeah.
All right.
Brushes.
Brushes. Are you playing now? Yeah, All right. Brushes. Brushes.
Are you playing now?
Yeah, Brando.
Let us speak.
I'm pretty sure.
Easel.
He said it.
I'm just working for him.
I know.
You're just saying it louder for them.
He's the MC.
Hell yeah.
Markers?
Crayons.
Crayons.
Yeah, cranes.
Yeah.
God.
Hell yeah.
You don't say. Pencil? Pen? Paper. Paper is a good one. Paper. Paper. Crayons. Yeah, cranes.
Pencil?
Pen?
Paper.
Paper. Paper.
Paper.
I like paper.
Good answer.
Good answer.
Oh, fuck.
Markers.
Marker.
Well, that's just...
Try pencil.
Pencil.
Pencil.
Yeah.
Nah, that's not going to work.
Motherfucker.
I already guessed it.
Oh, glue? Yeah, glue. Glue. Good answer.'s not going to work. Motherfucker. I already guessed it. Oh, glue?
Yeah, glue, glue.
Good answer, good answer.
I don't know.
Glue?
Sorry, because you glue and beans to paper.
Rock, chalk, clay.
I wouldn't have gotten those.
All right, you're still winning, though.
This guy's apparently a fucking idiot.
This guy sucks.
What's his name?
LaMelo?
Lucas Castillo.
You're playing against LaMelo Ball.
I bet you he would be the worst player in the
world at Family Feud. Name something
specific that people grind. Teeth.
Teeth. Coffee.
Weed. Coffee.
Coffee. Coffee grounds. I don't think
you can say weed.
Grind their... You can probably say drugs.
Gears.
Gears.
I'm with Gia. I think butts.
Try butts. I don with Gia. I think butts. Their butts.
Yeah.
Try butts.
Try butts.
I don't think it's going to...
No.
Oh, grind.
What about grinding?
Axe.
An axe.
I got an axe to grind.
Oh.
Is that a...
Yeah, yeah.
Do that.
Dom and idiot.
I'm sorry.
What do we call...
If they say weed.
Pepper maybe?
Meat?
Pepper.
What?
Oh, pepper.
I think you guys still won, so you're going to play Fast Money.
Oh, I love Fast Money.
Fast Money, Fast Money, Fast Money.
Alright, I'll read it because it's going to be hard to do Fast Money.
We asked 100 people,
when your husband is late,
name a place you track the bum down.
Work.
Work.
Name a food that's easy
to catch in your mouth. Broccoli.
What? Popcorn.
Popcorn. Popcorn. Yeah.
Broccoli?
At Hibachi?
Name an occupation in which you might have to face
booing crowds. Comedian.
I was going to say
athlete, but we can do that next.
You're not going to do that? Name a kind of fish you wouldn't want to see on your sushi roll.
Fast money, ladies.
Sturgeon.
Buttfish.
Pufferfish.
Pufferfish.
Pufferfish.
Oh, that's a delicacy.
Oh.
Give me an animal that begins with the letter W.
Walrus.
Okay, walrus.
That's how you know it's good.
Oh, no H.
No H. No H. Y'all probably should it's good. Oh, no H. No H.
No H.
Y'all probably should have said whale.
Oh, that's definitely not going to work.
Did you put Walrus with an H?
No, he didn't.
It ought to.
46, so you're in good shape.
Wait, I thought Fast Money's two rounds.
Oh, you won.
It's you against the computer.
You won.
You had to get 100.
Oh, I think it's...
Did we do good?
You had to get 200 in actual family feud.
You know what, Gia? This isn't fucking actual family feud. You know what, Gia?
This isn't fucking actual family feud.
You know what, Brando?
I don't want the sass.
You guys fucking won.
Brandon, it's women's month.
Yeah.
All right, so the guys go against them.
11-73.
First February.
Let's go, boys.
11-73.
Get the other 10, my man.
Can't see.
No, it's because the gays took June.
Remember?
We're going to wreck these hoes.
All right, so the boys are up.
Brando, you can't play.
I know.
Do you remember your score?
1173.
All right, 1173.
Really good with numbers.
I thought you were a woman.
You are very good with numbers.
Thanks, Owen.
I bet.
Recipes.
All right, here we go.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
Here we go, boys.
We'll be facing a woman. That would only only be right I don't know what that is
That's grandma
We got some sort of ghoul
Name something people ride
That isn't as easy as riding a bike
A bull
Really nice answer
Unicycle
Pogo stick Unicycle. Pogo stick.
Unicycle.
Motorcycle. What about a wave?
A wave. Not as easy as what?
A wave.
Not as easy as riding a bike. A wave.
A hang glider. I don't know that wave's a good
answer. Motorcycle.
Bike. Motorcycle.
A horse. Yeah.
Save a horse. Ride a cowboy. Horse. Yeah, horse, Save a horse Ride a cowboy
Horse
Yeah horse
Horse
Sing it
Bang
Surfboard
Yeah
How are they
Women have been
Skateboard
Skateboard
Skateboard for sure
Yeah I was gonna say
Ripstick
Skateboard
Ripstick
Surfboard
If you could ripstick
You were so cool
What is ripstick
Hoverboard
Remember that skateboard You never knew Oh with the two wheels Yeah A ripstick, you were so cool. What is ripstick? Hoverboard. Remember that skateboard you never did?
Oh, with the two wheels?
Yeah.
A ripstick.
And you have to wiggle back and forth.
Yeah.
Fuck.
A scooter?
No, could you do it?
I couldn't do it.
Rollerblades.
Ripsticking and backflips.
A camel, of course.
A backflip.
What?
That seems pretty easy.
Well, they asked across the world.
Yeah.
I didn't know that about you.
I can do a backflip.
Who can do a backflip?
Adeline.
What?
Apparently.
Do it.
Right now?
Do it right now on camera.
Why?
What is something you'd be shocked if a doctor was afraid of?
Needles.
If a doctor was afraid of needles.
If a doctor was afraid of needles.
Blood, blood, blood, blood.
Blood.
Blood.
Guts. Got that video? Yeah, guts, organs. Blood. Blood. Guts.
Got that video?
Yeah, guts, organs.
Blood.
Women.
Well, a lot of them are.
Fuck, fuck.
Conversation.
Diagnosing.
Cancer.
I am terrified of diagnosing.
Yeah, duh.
I would be.
Scrubs.
Bitch.
Wait.
Sickness. Well, all right. Terrified of death. Germ Yeah, duh. I would be. I would be a scrubs bitch. Wait. Sickness.
Well, all right.
Terrified of death.
Germs.
Germs.
Examining a body and something.
Germs disease, I think.
We're not going to put a whole sentence.
Are we beating this guy?
This is a TV screen for eight.
Oh.
You got to win this one.
You got to win this one.
Ghoul's up.
Shit.
Oh, did the ghoul beat you?
He's up three.
It's tight.
Got it.
Name another word besides money that means the same thing.
Pash.
Pash.
That's so easy.
That's Skrilla.
Yeah, they got way easier questions.
That's not easier than your questions.
Are you kidding?
You got what is in an art class?
Paper.
You think you would have said play?
I don't think paper's going to be there.
Paper.
Moolah?
We're not slang friendly here.
I get it.
Not moolah either.
Not moolah. Do not put moolah. Okay. Not slang friendly here. I get it. Not moolah either. Not moolah.
Do not put moolah.
Okay.
Waka Feli.
Hoy.
Wait.
Red.
Racks.
Red.
Dough.
Asset.
If they don't have racks, I'm going to be pissed.
What was that?
Dough.
Bread.
Oh, bread's good.
So they're not rap friendly.
You're about to lose.
Funds.
F-U-N-D-S.
Oh dear.
Shillings.
You lost.
You didn't get buck?
Moolah was on there and so was DeNiro. Moolah. Chillings. You lost. You didn't get Buck? Oh, Moolah. Moolah was on there and so was De Niro.
It was misspelled.
Yeah.
Moolah.
Moolah.
What's that song?
Shit.
I don't know about the Moolah.
I was going to say it like that.
All right, Broad, you won.
Damn.
Yay.
One win for one.
Woo-woo.
Thank God.
Should we crump?
As a whole, you were due for one.
Ow.
God, it's Women's Month.
Yeah.
You don't want to go long today?
You don't want to go ahead and get out?
I'm chilling.
It's Friday.
I'm chilling.
I'm chilling.
Happy Friday.
What are you doing today, Brando?
We never asked you.
Yeah.
Oh, we don't care.
We're just kidding.
I'm going home early, taking my kid home, and then I'm taking the nine-year-old out
to get fish.
So was your kid, did he get to miss school today?
He homeschools.
Yeah.
So progressive.
How many fish are you going to get?
Brando, that's how you make your kids weird.
No, no, it's not.
Stop.
The thing about schools in Jersey is that everybody there is a fucking cunt, apparently.
Well, I went to great schools in New Jersey.
Why do you think I'm the way I am now?
There was a murder at your school.
True.
That was a one-time thing.
That was once, though.
That was only once.
Yeah, but if you homeschool, they don't get the chance to mingle and talk to people, and
they become socially awkward.
They mingle with Brandon.
You're 22 years old.
I'm 23.
23 years old.
And?
And who's going to teach them to double-cross their legs?
Exactly.
You're giving me parenting advice.
I'm just saying, every person I met that was homeschooled was a little strange.
Homeschool is different now since the pandemic, since everything.
Okay, I'll give them that one.
If I had to homeschool my kid, I would not be able to do shit.
If they were like, teach him how to long divide, I'd be like, good fucking luck.
Yeah.
Are you homeschooled at all?
School's not school anymore.
Wait, so who teaches them, Brando?
Your wife?
Yeah.
Okay, well, that makes sense.
Literally a college professor.
Okay, yes, yes.
And she knows like 90 languages.
Okay.
And so, like last night, my girl, who is not in school, she's in school, she brought home
and she was like upset in her bedroom and I said, what's wrong?
And she said, will you help me with your, no, she didn't. Will you help me with my math homework? And I said, what's wrong? And she said, will you help me with your No, she didn't.
Will you help me with my math homework?
And I said, yeah, sure.
This is the first time it's ever happened to me.
And then she got bullied.
I looked at it and it was impossible.
It was algebra.
It was two angles, solve for x.
I have no idea. I can't remember that shit.
I still remember the exact day.
It was second grade when I hit my limit with math, and it was the long division day.
Second grade?
It was second grade, and the teacher was like, here's long division.
I was like, nope, I guess I'm done.
I guess I'm done now.
That was a nice run.
I never learned fractions.
Me neither.
I never learned slope.
I don't think you learned a goddamn thing in school.
Well, I have a learning disability, so be careful.
I still don't know how to tip.
Don't discriminate.
It's so great when they
have it on the bottom.
They're like, this is how
much 15% and 20%.
Two for every 10.
I always have to use
my fingers to add.
Oh, I still use my fingers.
The easiest way to do it
is you can just move it
a decimal and multiple it.
Conceptually, that doesn't
add up in my head.
My papers, when I had
to add anything, I would
just count them on the paper
and I'd still get it wrong. My paper, when I had to add anything, I would just count them on the paper,
and I'd still get it wrong.
My paper looked like fucking Pete Davidson by the end of it.
If someone asked me what 17 plus 6 was,
I'd have to be 23.
Yeah, it's almost immediately 23.
Oh, it's almost immediately 23. Ah!
Ah!
Fucking windmill dunked you.
Shit. Yeah, sheed you. Shit.
Yeah, she got you.
Whatever.
Yeah, I like geography.
Geography is cool.
Yeah.
You guys are all...
You guys are really into geography.
It's just fucking...
I don't know what it is.
It's a map.
It's about going places.
Yeah.
Living your life.
What's the capital of Utah?
Oh, wait.
Aren't you...
You're from Colorado.
Take that back. What's the capital of... Salt Lake City wait. You're from Colorado. I'll take that back.
What's the capital of...
Salt Lake City.
Not doing this.
KP knows every single one.
I don't know.
Montana.
Gio's boyfriend's really into geography, too.
Yeah.
I know.
He's actually better than me in some aspects.
Two weeks ago, we were in Times Square for Gio.
Yeah.
He's oddly good.
He's weirdly good at geography.
You can ask him a random country in Middle Eastern Europe and he knows the capital of it.
He knows the geopolitical affiliations with all of them.
We were in Times Square.
Me, him, and Gia were in Times Square for Gia's birthday.
And he's explaining to me.
We went to Dave and Buster's.
Yeah, we went to Dave and Buster's in Times Square.
He's explaining to me the relations between Mumbai and Polynesia.
And I was like, what is going on i'm
fascinated by him what do you guys talk about times we're in the middle of times midtown and
yeah yeah and i was like what the fuck and he was like i'm sorry if i'm boring you by
mumbai yeah once he once he gets started it's very hard for it to go by and polynesia have
any relationship i don't know i mean it could be. I think Madeline
just pulled two random places.
But those are places we don't talk about.
We talk about Polynesia a lot.
Why don't we talk about Mumbai?
Especially in Times Square.
He is so good at it.
Yeah his brain is. What does he do?
He runs Old Row.
Oh really?
Oh he knows about things
He is an old row intern
Okay
I want to go to India
I want to go to Nepal
It's one place I don't want to go
Nepal?
India
I would go to Nepal
Nepal is on top of India
So it's kind of close
But I would want to go to Nepal
Why don't you want to go to India?
It just doesn't seem like I would have fun
there. Okay, I get that.
Where would you have the most fun? I'm trying to picture where I'm going.
I could see KB going to southern Thailand.
Iceland? You know what's also
really unappealing to me is whenever people
post the Maldives
resorts. That seems the most appealing.
Clear-ass water? No, it's just like, you can tell
they're bored.
It looks cool. I like that kind of vacation.
You're stuck with a cabana on the water.
I like that, when you just do nothing.
I can't do that either.
I'll do that at my own home.
I'm not going to travel.
If I'm going to travel, I want to...
But you're at the beach, so that's when you just relax.
At home...
But you can tell people aren't having fun there.
I would think the opposite, actually.
Yeah.
You can go on a boat.
Jersey Shore people, we're used to like, you go down at the crack of dawn and you're there
all day.
Day, just sitting at the beach.
I had a friend come from the Midwest and I took her to the beach and after an hour, she's
like, well, now what do we do?
And I was like, no, no, this is it.
Yeah.
This is it.
We sit here all day.
I still haven't been to the Jersey Shore yet.
I gotta go.
You gotta go.
I don't like the all day beach days either.
Oh, I'm all about it. Everybody does. Can't do that. I get tired. You take go. I don't like the all day beach days either. I'm all about it. Everybody does.
Can't do that.
You take a nap. You read a book.
You get a hoagie order down to the beach.
You go for a swim. You get a pork roll, egg and cheese.
I'm there for two reasons.
The ocean and the tan. That's it.
I'm getting pulverized
by waves. That's all I want to know.
Yeah, running at the waves and jumping over
their minds. I was going to say, are you an over or an under guy in waves
pulverized
there's two
head on
go under
or I let them
just fuck me up
get undertowed
I'm an under
I like under
I like the feeling of like
you know what I mean
yeah oh yeah
Kyle puts on a bunch of leather
and just stands there
just scaring the shit out of kids
you get like an extra
like half an inch
but it feels like you get an extra foot.
Oh, it's so great.
Yeah.
You know what I was thinking about the other night was, remember when you were a kid and
you used to be in the pool and you'd hang onto the edge like Spider-Man?
Your what?
That shit was fucking awesome.
When you'd hang on the edge of a pool like Spider-Man.
You'd be in the water.
Demonstrate.
Oh, when you would-
In the water, and then you'd put your legs on the wall like Spider-Man.
Could you not swim?
I could swim great.
Did you guys play escape from Alcatraz?
I would kiss upside down like Spider-Man.
Do you guys wear compression shorts
when you're in bathing suits?
Yeah.
I don't.
I do.
I have a huge fear of getting a boner.
It's always very awkward if you have a guy friend and they're streaming.
You get a boner?
Yeah.
Uh-oh.
What do you mean?
He's got a paper airplane.
He's so freaking cute.
No, he's not allowed in.
Don't put him on camera.
You can throw it.
You can throw it.
Rip it.
Whoa.
Open the door. Better throw. Oh, my God. He's so cute. Gia, go throw it. Rip it. Whoa. Open the door.
Better throw.
Oh, my God.
He's so cute.
Gia, go grab that and give it a hug.
He's a hundred years old by that paper toss.
That's a three-year-old paper toss.
Oh, my sister.
She didn't open the door far enough for him.
Yeah, that was a sabotage way.
Yeah, give that thing a good chuck.
Yay.
Oh, my God.
I wish that hit you in the penis.
Just fit perfectly into my urethra.
Why is that paper airplane just stuck to your groin?
It pierced my sweatpants and my underwear
and is lodged in my urethra so perfectly
that it doesn't even hurt.
That's why that guy had to get wheeled out yesterday.
Yeah, so you're not circumcised.
Or you are circumcised.
I had that backwards.
My bad.
It's all right.
Do you guys believe in circumcision?
Yeah.
I believe it exists.
I know it happens.
Yeah.
I think it's,
the funny thing about circumcision to me is that,
circumcision.
I meant it like,
would you circumcise your kids?
Do you think it's just for your, yeah, yeah. When you think about it, no. I can't answer that. I got a kid sitting around, I meant to like, would you circumcise your kids?
Yeah.
Yeah.
When you think about it.
No, I got a kid sitting around.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You could, you would be the most apt. When my son was born, like the thought, like there was a sad story in the news that night.
And I was like sobbing, thinking like, oh my God, if anything ever bad happened to you.
And then the nurse came in and was like, taking him for a circumcision.
I was like, okay.
I don't want him to get bullied in gym in middle school take him cut him up uh yeah so i don't know i just
i guess it's kind of a touchy subject you have to pay for it like is that part of your hospital
bill is like circumcision i don't even think it's touchy anymore i think it's all hands free like a
laser laparoscopic no i don't yeah oh touchy i get it but i mean like because they're children so yeah i mean they're babies it doesn't they're and like i'll be like ignorance but i
didn't look up how they do i like was just like ignorance is bliss bliss for that moment they'll
bring them back when they bring them back like i couldn't even think about it but like i was like
yeah and i don't know why like it's just so part of our i just think it's children thing the argument
the argument is you didn't get the consent
of the child
that's impossible
because they can't speak
so you say do I have consent
you can get retroactive consent
if he like smiles afterwards
wait why do we do it
because it gets dirtier is that why
yeah they did it because in the Elden days,
they realized it was more cleansed.
Schmegma.
Today.
Oh, yeah, I forgot about Schmegma.
I won't talk about Schmegma.
I forgot about that.
We'll come around these parts talking about Schmegma.
Someone in this country has a jar of it.
I would think more than one person.
I would think several people do that.
The funniest thing about it to me, though,
is that God, the way the story goes is God
basically told everyone, he's like, hey, listen, like, I know I'm perfect, but I kind of fucked
up on this one.
I fucked up the design on this one.
So if you guys get a little patchwork on it for me, that'd be huge.
And they're like, OK, if you say so, big man.
This is crazy that we just do that.
Like, we do that to babies.
We just do it.
I just, like, accepted it.
I was like, all right.
Yeah.
But like nowadays, it was back when you couldn't shower. But now, like, nothing bad's going to babies. We just do it. I just accepted it. I was like, all right. Yeah, but nowadays, it was back when you couldn't shower,
but now nothing bad's going to happen.
I'm saying now it's crazy
that we still just do it, right?
Yeah.
Kate, you have to do everything
in your power to have a cool kid.
You named him cool.
He has cool parents.
Yes.
What's your child's name?
Cash.
Oh, that is a cool name.
Ash Cassidy.
Is that not a badass?
He's going to be so fucking cool.
You can't have him.
With a K or a C?
With a C. That's fine. Okay, good. What's can't have him. With a K or a C? With a C.
That's fine.
Okay, good.
What's his middle name?
If it was K, that would be weird.
Cash James Cassidy.
His full name's Cassius.
Cash Cassidy.
Oh, I love that.
Oh, cool.
Cassius Winston.
Sounds like an 80s jazz musician.
Yes, he's going to be, I think.
Cassius Clay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I ruined one of my boys' lives.
What?
You want to expand?
You're talking about circumcision a while ago.
Is Instagram live or is life?
It's life.
It's live.
I thought Instagram live.
We were talking about circumcision.
I just mentioned he's not my homie.
He isn't circumcised.
And I told everyone his Instagram name.
And then now. Oh, yeah. then now everyone's like, oh.
I didn't know he was a – I did know.
He's a wrestling coach at a high school, and all the kids know now.
The homie isn't circumcised.
This happened on the act like three weeks ago.
Yeah, wait.
I feel like I saw this happen.
Was this the guy you had the fat Instagram picture with?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Be neat to teens.
The teens are listening, though.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I guess the kids listen. You're tapped into the culture. We're talking about coach dicks Mm-hmm. Yeah. Be neat to teens are listening, though. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I guess the kids listen.
You're tapped into the culture.
We're talking about
coach dicks, you know?
Yeah.
I will say,
going back to like
olden me,
blowjobs
with the uncircumcised.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I feel like it's kind of like,
oh, you should have told,
maybe give me a heads up.
A little heads up
is going to be a little extra.
That's tough, though.
A little extra work.
It's a heavy ass, though,
to be like,
hey, by the way.
No, I don't think.
I just feel like, I don't know.
It's a heavy ask for a woman to do that though.
Oh, sorry we were
pulling around.
Sorry.
None of the uncircumcised guys you blew
asked or told you beforehand?
Each one was a surprise.
By the way, I'm uncircumcised or circumcised i keep saying that backwards well yeah you want to be circumcised oh my god
you want to be whatever you um tell that woman that was an overreaction i thought it was too
again he's six not two right what did she do she do? She acted like he threw a paper airplane by her.
She acted like he threw a grenade
at her face.
Yeah, like she got blown up.
Does Caitlyn have a stern talking to?
Does Caitlyn hang out with him a lot?
Does she babysit them?
Well, she was living with me. She lived with me eight months, but two weeks ago I moved her into the city.
She's my neighbor now.
Yeah, okay.
I moved her into the city and I haven't seen her much. I haven't talked to Caitlyn in but two weeks ago i moved her into the city she's my neighbor now yeah okay so she she i moved her in the city and i haven't i haven't seen her much i haven't talked to caitlin
in like two weeks yeah she works over here i work over here hi we don't talk much yeah no caitlin
and i caitlin and i are little neighborhood homies oh cool yeah cool tommy and i are hitting great
wolf lodge yeah you are weekend of the 26 park? Yeah. I've been dying to hear
a first-hand review of that.
Oh, we went.
I told you I went two weeks ago.
I don't pay attention.
Is it Great Wolf Lodge?
In Poconos.
Yeah.
It's just you and Tommy Walker.
He's not going to.
I wanted to put that in existence.
I would like to.
If I could,
take your son to Great Wolf,
I would.
I'll pay for it.
All right. Damn, dude, that was a to Great Wolf. I would. I'll pay for it.
All right.
Damn, dude, that was a nice little play by you.
Friday fucking bye.
You will not enjoy it.
Yes, I will.
Great Wolf Lodge is awesome. Great Wolf Lodge is so fun.
Have you been?
Yeah, yeah.
There's a lot of water parks in Ohio that I would go to.
There's a Great Wolf Lodge in Ohio?
Yeah, and a Kalahari.
I don't know what Kalahari is.
I just love lazy rivers.
Honestly though
I don't really like
indoor water parks
nor do I really like
outdoor water parks.
What?
I'm them kind of
Oh you should say
you don't like water parks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay yeah
I don't know why
I worded it like that.
Indoor water parks
had their time
but I don't think
they gave me like
fell off.
Something's in the water there.
Still new to me.
No, no, no.
They fell off in terms of I grew out of them, but they haven't fallen off.
You'll get some sort of infection.
Yeah.
How many is the water park?
Open wound or something.
You'll get a fungal infection.
Yeah.
You can get that anywhere.
I've been wearing a mask for two years.
You can get an open wound at any point.
Yeah, what do you mean?
You'll get an open wound?
You're going to get an infection.
No, no, no.
I'm saying you could get open wound or a fungal infection, not because of the open wound.
Like, you could need an ointment after you go to a Great Wolf Lodge.
You could definitely need an ointment.
You could need a doctor's appointment.
I wish I could go back in time.
You need that after you go to Applebee's.
True.
I don't really go to Applebee's, though.
I've been to Applebee's multiple times.
I've never gotten sick there.
You could.
I've had food poisoning from Applebee's, I will say.
I don't go to my local Applebee's because somebody got assassinated at it a few years ago.
Wait, assassinated?
Assassinated?
So, Miles Powell, who used to play for Seton Hall, his brother, walked into an Applebee's
at 1.30 in the morning, walked up to the bar, shot a guy in the back of the head, and then
left.
I don't know if that's assassinated.
I don't think he has the status of a citizen.
It was a targeted killing.
No, an assassination.
That would still be a murder. I actually just looked this up the other day. Assassinations are murders. They the status of a citizen. No, an assassination. That would still be a murder.
I actually just looked this up the other day.
Assassinations are murders.
They're murders of public people, so I looked it up.
You guys have to tell me who was assassinated.
Miles' brother.
Miles' brother walked into an Applebee's and shot somebody in the back of the head.
No, the bartender.
The bartender, no offense to the bartender, isn't worthy.
Oh, the bartender?
Yeah.
It's not worthy.
And the Applebee's was open two days later.
Well, the bartender was actually visiting It's not worthy. And the Applebee's was open two days later. Well, the bartender was actually visiting.
It should have been opened immediately after.
Why would that stop the process?
Crime scene?
No.
Assassinations have to be done to a public figure.
25K on TikTok, yeah.
Yeah, 25K on TikTok or verified on Instagram.
Wow.
Yeah.
Really?
I can't get assassinated.
I'm working towards it.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Hang in there. One day. Like, verified. Like, you can't do assassinated. I'm working towards it. Good luck. Good luck. I'm hoping.
One day.
Like, verify.
Like, you can't do verified on Twitter only, because that's like, journalists can do that
really easily.
Oh, yeah.
They get way too easy.
Yeah, you have to have at least 500k.
You can't be in low A ball and assassinate.
Oh, not 500k.
100k.
No.
No.
I'm just saying, you would not be considered an assassination.
Right.
Yeah.
You have to have at least 500,000 followers on Instagram.
I didn't even think they'd consider yours a murder.
Public service, maybe.
Where did Rudy go?
He's right there.
During show poop.
Another quick poop.
Was Bin Laden assassinated?
Yes.
Oh, no, no.
He was assassinated.
Yeah, he was assassinated.
JFK, Bin Laden. Yeah, no, no. He was assassinated. Yeah, he was assassinated. JFK,
Bin Laden. Yeah, but I... But don't you... JFK blown
away. Don't you think Bin Laden,
that's like a... What else do I have to say?
What, Brando?
Nothing.
I didn't... Okay.
But like, Brandon... It's her. It's her, right?
It's not me.
You guys talking about assassinations?
Yeah.
Yes.
Like, Rudy, you're on the border.
What?
How would he be on the border?
Being assassinated versus just killed.
But he does not have...
Do you have how many followers on Instagram?
You would put him in the same category as JFK?
How many followers on Instagram do you have?
Probably like 10,000.
No.
Rudy's got a chunky...
Dylan O'Brien DM'd him on Instagram. Don't ever say that. I got a whopping 10,000. No. Rudy's got a chunky Dylan O'Brien DM'd him
on Instagram.
Don't ever say that.
I got a whopping 22,000.
Oh you're close.
I told you he's teetering
on the edge.
No 500,000 is the minimum.
It's 25K on TikTok though.
What if social media followers
isn't a reflection at all?
It's not.
Maybe it's about the friends
we made along the way.
Barstool due for a murder?
I hope not.
Let's not put that
into existence.
Who would be the Barstool murder? Like that? I hope not. Let's not put that into existence. Who would be
the Barstool martyr?
Like that would,
I think,
get the,
who would be
the saddest death?
I don't like this.
No, no,
I was kidding.
The big question is
who?
The least sad death
would be...
I think we should
go ahead and call it.
Oh yeah, we're running out of... We should go ahead and call it. Oh, yeah, we're running out of it.
Yeah.
I think we should go ahead and call it.
I've got to get my kid to get home.
I've got to go buy some fish.
Yeah.
It's a big day for me.
Have fun.
What are you having for dinner, Brandon?
I don't know.
My wife wants to go out and celebrate, but I don't have a baby.
Celebrate what?
Celebrate what?
Oh.
What?
Oh, your new contract?
I thought Brando got fired.
I texted my sister.
I was like, did Brando?
I heard about that. Say Brando one more time. Brando got fired. I texted my sister. I was like, did Brando? I heard about that.
Say Brando one more time.
Why does that make you so mad?
You just said it a bunch of times.
Oh.
It didn't make me mad.
You had texted in our group chat and was like,
is Brandon leaving Barstool?
I was like, I don't think so.
I think you would make that.
Was there an N or did she say Brando?
I said Brando.
You said Brando.
Brando.
But I don't think you would.
You made it your Twitter bio.
I don't think you would be having Twitter bio. Like I don't think you would be like having
it released.
It's all wrestling stuff
you know it's just
making it trying to
make it interesting and
then I decided.
Yeah that was
clickbait.
Okay just let Tommy do
it and Tommy did it.
Yeah well congrats.
Congrats.
Proud of you.
Thank you.
All right so let's
get out of here.
We'll have maybe full
crew back Monday.
Well Nick won't be
back but we'll have
more people back on
Monday. All right that's the weekend.. But we'll have more people back on Monday.
All right.
That's the weekend.
All right.
See ya.
Thank you, girls. 10X Go Rutgers
have a good weekend
yee yee Mexico Rutgers. Have a good weekend. Yee-yee. Yee-yee.
50 Billion X.