The Yak - The Yak + Barstool Chicago Draft "The Best Things" | The Yak 4-19-22
Episode Date: April 20, 2022Draft DayYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right.
We're a little late.
The Yak is live from Chicago.
Trivia tonight.
We just finished taping Wednesday's show,
and we're going to do a draft today,
but we have some bad news, Dave.
White Sox Dave.
Continue.
Your laundry card, and this will be something people will see the moment on tomorrow's show.
Your laundry card was sitting in front of Rome
when he got here.
It broke.
It got cut. It's from my old apartment.
Oh my god.
And if it was from my old
if I needed that one, I would have just
bought another one anyways. That's what I did every single time I would have just bought another one anyways.
That's what I did every single time I would do laundry in my old place.
So we're good.
Roan said it like it was an accident, like it got broken.
There's a difference between being broken accidentally and being chopped in half.
Well, the key is you say it got cut.
It looks like it got cut.
Yeah, well, by a scissors that is in Roan's hands right now.
I'm pretty sure it was a perforated arm.
Accidentally, yeah.
Because I felt like it was almost a bait car situation where this thing is just dangling in front of my face, and there's scissors too.
So my old complex told me that if I could find someone to move into my apartment, I would get a $300 referral bonus.
So I was using this a couple times on Red Iron Radio and stuff because there's
like $18 on this.
So you were using that to honeypot some people?
Basically, yes.
Nice.
I was honeypotting with Sublease and $18
worth of laundry cards.
It's actually a bribery.
Alright, so...
But yeah, I was afraid that I was going to have cut someone's actual
laundry card and I meant no malice. We thought it was
maybe Tom's or something like that.
So that would have been fine.
Yeah.
Tom understands.
Tom's my guy.
So you put that card right next to just a pair of scissors.
And you had a feeling Roan was going to sit there.
Yeah.
But Roan is by far the number one, I'm going to cut it.
Yeah.
A little mischievous.
I don't think there's anything.
Did you start fires as a kid?
Huh?
Fires as a kid?
I would have.
I was just a little bit scared.
I was like a pussy. Tiger can't change his stripes. You burn stuff? No,'t think there's anything. Did you start fires as a kid? Huh? Fires as a kid? I would have. I was just a little bit scared. I was like a pussy.
Tiger can't change his stripes.
You burn stuff?
No, I'm afraid of fire.
Yeah, see?
Same way.
That's why I like throwing lit cigarettes at him.
Why wouldn't I be afraid of fire?
Because you like going to abandoned buildings and stuff.
What are you talking about?
Who is like, I welcome fire at all times?
You like fire all the time?
No.
I love a good fire.
We've had a show. Uncontrolled a good fire. I think people don't.
We've had a show.
Uncontrolled is not fun.
No, no, no.
No, yeah.
Don't drop me in California forest fire.
Right.
That'd be bad.
Right.
You know what I hate, though, is people who always complain about how the fire pit smells.
Oh, that's a great point.
Just wash your clothes.
Wash your clothes.
Oh, yeah.
Wash your fucking clothes.
Are you saying the day after, after a heat ride?
I don't want to go.
I don't want to go to a fire.
Those people also are just pussies, and they're very young because it used to be you go to a bar and you just smell like cigarettes.
That's true, too.
Do you guys like to light stuff on fire in the woods like White Sox did?
I had a very protective mother.
Still do.
She's upset about me coming to Chicago.
Really?
The last time I was here, I was one, and somebody tried to kidnap me.
Oh, really? Where at? The mall. Some was here, I was one, and somebody tried to kidnap me. Oh, really?
Where at?
The mall.
Some mall guy
tried to pull me out of my cart.
You are like,
I've seen pictures of you
as a little boy,
and you really are
like the quintessential
like fine Nicky,
little Nicky.
The guy went up to my mom,
and he pointed at me,
and he said,
that's a lot of money in your pocket,
and then went to grab me.
Why did he call a shot?
He could have got away with it
so much easier
if he just had... He's a cocky kidnapper? A cocky kidnapper. He's like Babe Ruth fucking pointing them back. and then went to grab me. Why did he call a shot? He could have got away with it so much easier.
He's a cocky kidnapper?
A cocky kidnapper.
He's like Babe Ruth.
Yeah.
Nicky is a very kidnappable man.
Yeah, right.
Little Nicky.
Everyone, we got to find him.
And a kidnappable boy turns into a jumpable man.
And oh, goddamn, am I.
When did Amber Alert start?
After me.
It could have been a Nicky Alert.
Yeah. Yeah.
No.
Nicky Notification. Yeah. Nikki Notification.
A Nikki Notification.
I have a face for a milk carton.
You really do.
Yeah.
You also kind of have a face for an abductor.
Child abductor.
Yeah.
I can see that, too.
It's odd how...
It's full circle.
Right.
Yeah.
Two sides to every man.
It's learned behavior.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is a big show, though.
And we're waiting to get KB in.
We would actually say what's going on with the show, but KB is absent for the time being.
He just ran out.
What's the most amount of mics you guys have done in a year?
It's got to be this.
Eight?
Is this it?
No, we have nine in New York.
Yeah, plus nine.
Yeah, it's a lot.
But it's not too much, though.
It's a lot of cooks, but yeah, it's just a lot of chaos.
Did you guys see the case race?
I saw clips.
You guys watched the entirety of the four hours?
It was longer than both Kill Bills combined.
I did the math.
One minute longer.
Really?
Yeah.
When's the last time you slapped somebody before that, Dan?
A week before that, because the slap wheel had been coming up a lot.
We do have to spin the wheel.
It was too much.
Let's spin the wheel right now, and then we'll get to the draft.
You guys have to honor this.
Yes.
So if we've got to get wet, we've got to get wet.
Just so you know.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
It could be bad.
But food wheel means that we order foods of our choices.
That is right. All right. We our choices That is right Alright we're dry
Alright we're dry
We're staying dry
Alright so the draft
Is going to be
We basically were like
How can we do
A similar thing
To a dog walk draft
But not actually do
A dog walk draft
Because we don't want to
You know
Take that
And also add a bunch of rules that will
confuse the fuck out of White Sox, Dave.
Why would it be me who's confused?
That's true.
It could have been anyone.
I just said your name because I was looking at you.
So we came up with this draft.
That is, do we have the graphic?
Oh, we're getting Jeff D. Lode right now.
Okay.
Yeah.
So here's how it's going to work.
It's the best. As open-ended as it could be, the best. Lode right now. Okay. Yeah. So here's how it's going to work. It's the best.
As open-ended as it could be, the best.
It's two teams.
It's the Act vs. Redline Radio.
And there's five things you have to pick and three miscellaneous.
Food, place, experience, feeling, athlete, miscellaneous.
And then the only other wrinkle is it has to be
alphabetical. Oh Jesus.
And what that means
is if we were to
pick, throw out something.
Just throw out anything. Abraham Lincoln.
No, that's bad. Fig Newton.
Fig Newton. Alright. That means
that the next pick
would have to be after F
in the alphabet. You can't select anything A, B, C, D, E.
Right.
And the only way it resets is if you land on Z.
If you pick a Z, the next team gets a reset of the alphabet.
So you can be strategic here with your picks.
Have you guys planned anything for this?
Have you guys thought about this?
He's a little nervous right now.
I am a little nervous.
Because I know KB and Nick make you uneasy.
No, this is... We bond. We've had times
together. We're going to Put-In-Bay on
Memorial Day weekend. I'm going the weekend after.
Ah, shit. Bad timing. Two ships.
Yeah, that's tough.
Why do they make you nervous?
Because they're constantly scheming.
No. How many times
do we have to have this fucking conversation? I know, but
when cameras are on, I just assume it's some sort of sabotage.
Some kind of nefarious activities going on.
I think I'm with Dave on that.
These two are trouble.
Dave is the most comfortable around us.
You guys are always a little off.
Really?
Well, I've got to know you guys better than they have.
I talk wrestling with you.
I guess just chief.
Rightfully so.
No Stone Cold was one of the most egregious things of all time.
I made a statement.
Not a wrestling guy.
He's an entertainer.
I made a statement.
I think actually we did Mount Rushmore bald guys like three years ago,
and Stone Cold was my first pick.
There wasn't a spot for him.
I mean, I think you've got to look at the Camel Boys down there.
They were the wrestling guys in the room.
I apologize.
I'd rather have you close.
He's a true athlete. Brutal. Stick to your wrestling guys in the room. I apologize. I'd rather have Euclid. He's a true athlete.
Brutal.
Stick to your guns. Brutal.
I think they could have gone Goldberg.
Yeah, could have been either.
Did anyone get Zidane?
He was a miscellaneous. He might get drafted in the alphabetical draft.
No, no, no one's...
We can't use Zidane.
So we use Jastrzemski, they'll use Zidane.
No, stop saying that!
What was the name you just tried to say?
You said it wrong, but...
Did I mispronounce a local legend?
It's not local.
Wait, were you...
You were trying to say Eizerman?
Jastrzemski.
Oh, I was trying to say Eizerman.
I was like, where do you stay right now?
He's only seen it in text.
He's only ever read it.
Where were you?
Waukesha.
So wait, did you guys strategize before this?
Sounds like you guys all knew the rules.
Waukesha.
Nope.
Waukesha is the suburb of Milwaukee.
Yeah.
I know.
I was saying how I only know the, I only ever read it.
So have you ever been?
False correction.
We texted before.
I think that's where JJ Watt.
I think it's where his house is now.
Yip Salani?
We kept the Santa's in Michigan.
We kept my old sales company in Walker's yard.
Yip Salani will not get picked in this draft.
What a shithole.
No, I actually can show you the text where Stephen asked if we should start throwing ideas in the group chat.
And I said, no, save it for the show.
It would be funnier.
So there's been no strategy
it's like I said it's supposed to be
we don't want to do the exact same
thing but we thought it would be fun to do something similar
so what happens if you fuck up the
alphabetical thing?
it doesn't count
no no no
so we took your thing of drafts and we
added our thing of adding too many rules
exactly
if you have any other So we took your thing of drafts and we added our thing of adding too many rules. Right. Exactly. Exactly.
It's perfect.
Yes.
Yes.
If you have any other wrinkles, though, if you guys have any rules, suggestions, clarifications,
because I really don't feel that prepared.
I feel like the game is young enough where we could still add stuff to it.
Change it up.
You're not prepared either.
Should we get rid of some letters off the bat?
Wait.
Hold on.
I want the record to auto skip.
You can't draft these letters?
I like that. We should spin a wheel that eliminates a letter. Yeah. I pulled up the alphabet right now. He's got the alphabet. Wait, hold on. I want the record to auto-skip. You can't draft these letters? I like that.
We should spin a wheel
that eliminates a letter.
Yeah, I pulled up the alphabet
right now.
He's got the alphabet.
What's the problem?
How do you...
You Googled alphabet?
You pulled up the alphabet?
Just to refresh?
Yeah, just to make sure.
Pull up the alphabet.
That should be cheating.
That's actually...
Coley wants to do a draft
with us drafting the alphabet,
drafting letters,
and so one will go undrafted,
which is captivating. I did a blog where I
ranked letters alphabetically. Did you?
Yeah. Which came in first?
Yeah, who came in first? I'm trying to get the clicks.
I'm not going to spoil that.
Oh, it's good blogging right there.
You sneaky bastard.
Dave, this is live, by the way.
Understood. Okay, buddy.
I'm used to
the live stuff ever since Sirius. Wait, is this live? I'm going to say H. I'm used to the live stuff ever since Sirius.
Wait, is this letter?
I'm going to say H.
I'm going to say H.
Worst letter?
H is dead.
I'd say H would get undrafted.
Okay.
I mean, H is like the Pippin.
S-H-T-H-C-H.
Like, you need H's.
I just went through it once, and I tried to think of one.
It's a great number two.
It might be E.
I think it's the number two.
That might be the first thing we've ever agreed upon.
I think so.
You guys are just thinking of TCMS.
But you couldn't draw out Q or W because those have unique skills to them.
Exactly.
W-H.
No, I'm trying to think of what would be the one undrafted letter.
And it can't be a vowel either.
Vowels are all going to play.
O seems like no one wants an O.
Even U, the worst vowel, will get taken.
What about Y?
Sometimes.
Because it's versatile.
Y is kind of weird.
It's also at the end.
It's at the end of the alphabet.
You could force them into a Z pick.
What would not get drafted?
R?
R is classic.
Why do we need the letter R?
H is kind of...
I'd have to be again.
I think H...
H holds up.
H holds up in words, but it does nothing for you otherwise.
Yeah, what's the best H?
Heaven?
Hitler.
There it is.
I just proved my point.
There we go.
Or we can spin a wheel of all the letters, and whatever it lands on, we have to use a
letter that comes after that.
What?
That's a good idea.
That's a wrinkle. That's a good wrinkle.
Okay.
It's more fair.
No, I think we just go straight alphabetical.
Let's do the ninth round.
Oh, we already have.
You know what?
So we have eight rounds.
Seven will be set, and then the last round will be we spin the wheel,
and you have to pick that letter.
You have to pick the best.
The best thing of that letter?
Yes, of that letter.
And are we also going to eliminate a letter on the wheel?
I don't think we should eliminate it.
Okay, all letters are on the table.
Unless H.
Fuck H.
Or we can only use one letter once.
How many wheels do you guys have?
So we can only use Y once.
Ooh, I like that.
I like that a lot.
What was it I didn't hear?
You only can use a letter once okay so if we take s from those boys they can't use s
okay i'm down for that i like that i like that that's a good wrinkle kb what do you think kb
do you guys ever get mobbed at the door or you're not popping like that we had a homeless guy walk
in yeah he was sleeping in the thing right right? Yeah. That's no big deal.
Yeah, that's whatever.
Yeah.
There are a lot of creatures that walk up and down the street, though.
The P-Lady.
The P-Lady.
There's a P-Lady.
There's a P-Lady.
What's she do?
That's a bad letter.
When we get a new office, we'll get a security guard.
Okay.
That'd be nice.
Yeah.
How's the cheesesteak spot at the Buck?
It's actually not bad.
I haven't had it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But comparatively, I don't know what it is. Look at that. Actually, we should- Oh, that's beautiful. Comparatively, I don't know.
Look at that.
That's beautiful.
Let's eliminate one.
You want to?
Just look at it. It's fun.
Take one off.
We all guess a letter and if we get it right,
everybody pays that person
$100.
Can we all?
Yeah, let's all guess 100 bucks everyone pays
okay guess go ahead well you start am i up first yeah well you want to go last no no i'll do 100
yeah no we all agreed you want to do 50 hondi carl you want to do 50 we can do 50 sure he's
taking my studio i want to do 100 but if we want, we can do 50. He's taking shots. In my studio, you take shots. I want to do 100, but if we want to, we can do 50.
All right, if someone gets exactly right.
Let's do 200.
Okay.
Let's do 200.
See, I can't do that.
No, that's just obnoxious.
101.
Sheesh.
Let's do 20.
Am I up?
20 bucks.
20 is a payout. That's a good chunk of change? 20 bucks Yeah yeah yeah 20 is a pay
It's not to go
Chuck a change
It's 20 bucks
Alright
Booth you want in on the action boys?
Are you a letter?
Yeah just pick one
Oh TJ
I'm gonna take
I'm gonna take the letter
I'm gonna take C
Oh boo
C okay
Reach
Oh
I'm going with F
T
Y
I A L TJ X Oh. I'm going with F. T. Y.
I.
A.
L.
TJ.
X.
H.
H.
All right, so it's 20 bucks.
20 bucks.
Is it 20?
What did you say, KP?
20 or 100?
50. 100.
Yeah.
I want someone to get paid.
Everyone remembers their own letters.
Oh, no.
It's C-O-F-T.
That's just eliminated.
There's an I-A-L.
I'm a Y.
Y-I-A-L.
Just know your own.
Just remember A.
Oh, fuck.
Say it again real quick.
I'm just going to do it in order just so that we...
C.
Wait.
All right.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
O.
O.
F.
T.
F.
T.
T.
Y.
I.
I.
A. L. L. X. X. F-T-Y-I-A-L-X-H.
All right.
And if it lands on one of these, that person gets 100 and it's eliminated.
Correct.
If it's not one of the ones we have, that letter is just eliminated. Now, is it the first spin or do we want to do a practice spin just so we kind of get it?
No.
No.
No.
Should we do like – No, that's like the Monty Hall problem. the first spin or do we want to do a practice spin just so we kind of figure
out how many times we spin the wheel I'd like that or like a guessing game or
quantities do a practice spin lands on T I'm gonna you can't listen practice spin lands on T, I'm going to freak out.
Listen, practice spin.
Practice spin.
I don't want to know.
This is a practice spin.
Practice spin.
100% of practice spin.
Oh, fuck.
This was a bad idea.
Oh.
Oh.
No one.
All right.
Good job. That didn't count. You just do one more. Okay. Oh! Oh! No one! All right, get it out.
That didn't count.
You just do one more.
Okay.
I have one idea.
We start with 50 each, and if none of the letters,
it lands on none of the letters, we go up to 100.
It's like skins?
And we keep going up until someone does get paid.
All right, so someone wins.
50, 100.
Is there a cap?
No, it doubles. 50, 100. Is there a cap? No, it doubles.
50, 100, 200.
It's bound to land.
Walk out of here with $4,000.
Do a double with 20.
20, 40, 80.
Start with 20.
25.
So if it doesn't land on the letters, are they removed from the – or we just keep going?
We all agreed on 100.
Let's up 100, then do 20.
120.
That's not fun.
That's not fun because that's – 120 is 100. It's 25. It's 25 on 100. Let's up 100, then do 20. 120. That's not fun. That's not fun. Because that's 25.
120 is 100.
It's 25.
It's 25 on the first spin.
If it doesn't land on anyone, it doubles.
And we spin again.
50.
So someone's going to get a-
100.
Someone's going to win, and that letter will be eliminated.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
All right.
Can we switch letters?
Nope.
No.
Yes, actually.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Actually, you have to switch letters. Absolutely. Letter switch. Yes. Letter switch. You have to switch letters? Nope. Yes, actually. You have to switch letters.
Absolutely.
Letter switch?
Yes, letter switch.
You have to switch letters.
Absolutely.
I love T in this wheel.
Absolutely.
You have to switch.
I'm going to take J.
I'm going to take a J.
Okay.
Okay.
Wait, why does he get to pick first again?
Yeah, no, okay.
We have to.
It's a snake draft.
I already picked it, so no one else can.
I'm in with J.
J, I.
I'm in the clubhouse with J. I. I'm going with F. F. Wait, you have to. It's a snake draft. I already picked it, so no one else can. I'm in with J. J, I.
I'm going with F.
F?
Wait, you had F.
You have to switch it. Yes, you have to switch.
Okay, then I'll go with P.
P, R.
R.
I'll take Z.
I don't like that.
C, I love that.
I don't like that at all.
C, I love that.
C.
I'm going to Price is Right. Give me D. D. I love that. I don't like that at all. I love that. C. I'm going to Price is Right.
Give me D.
D.
Nice.
Nice.
Good answer.
K.
K.
K is a bad letter.
O.
G.
G.
K-O-G.
All right.
So this isn't a practice or this is live?
This is live.
$25 to the winner.
$25 each.
Or we spin for 50 each. So that would be how many are there? 10 of us? Yep. It's going to happen. $25 to the winner. $25 each. Or we re-spin for $50 each.
So that would be, how many are there?
10 of us?
Yep.
It's going to happen.
$250?
Well, no, because you don't pay yourself.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
Huh.
Spin it.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on, R.
Come on, C.
Come on, J.
Oh!
Come on! Push it! Push, J. Oh! Come on!
Push it!
Push it!
Who's O?
TJ!
TJ!
TJ.
Oh, that sucks that it went on the first time.
All right, I'm addicted to the wheel.
That one doesn't count.
It's addicting.
It's addicting.
Roll it again.
I'll roll it again.
It's fucking addicting.
We gotta roll it again.
One more time.
One more time.
Is O also eliminated from the draft?
O is eliminated from the draft.
Okay. So what if it was...
I had O on the practice spin.
You did?
But TJ, I'm happy for you.
I'm happy for TJ.
It was G on the practice spin.
He had O in the practice round. He drafted O.
Ed was in the clubhouse with O.
But you couldn't stay.
Bad rule.
Should we start the draft? TJ, what's your Venmo? If you stayed, oh, I would have won. But you couldn't stay. You couldn't stay. Right. Bad rule. Why don't you change it?
All right, should we start the draft?
TJ, what's your Venmo?
We'll use the spin again at some point in the draft.
TJ Hitchings, any spaces?
Oh, wow, you're getting my boy hooked up right now.
Yeah, TJ Hitchings on Venmo.
Oh, fuck. And he does a lot for us, and he doesn't get paid at all.
Give him a 50. That doesn't work.
Alright, so everyone got the draft.
O is out.
And we're ready to go.
So we're going to spin
to see who goes first.
We should do a halftime spin that eliminates a letter.
Okay.
I'm down for that halftime spin.
And also remember the last round will be you have to spin
and you have to come up with something that is exactly that letter.
Yes.
So it would be smart to keep your miscellaneous for that last round.
Correct.
Correct.
One of your three miscellaneous is three.
Correct.
Should we powwow about what we're gonna do?
I don't know what we're gonna do
No, I think we talk it out
We talk it out live
Yeah, they're looking into the workings of our brain
Yeah
Alright
Priceless
So how are we picking who goes first?
Is it more advantageous to go first?
Skittles or something?
Yes
Because you kind of set the tone.
You guys ready?
Yeah, we're ready.
I think so.
Let me just ask a real quick question.
Eddie, are you a little nervous because you can't control this draft?
Yeah, if I could be acting commissioner for the game,
that would make me feel better.
Yeah, like this doesn't.
I could be acting.
You're out on an island.
I thought it was a little suspicious that the wheel guy got the letter, too.
That is a little.
Wait a second.
There actually are a dedicated group of Yak listeners that think that TJ rigs the wheel.
Oh, really?
I think I'm going to be one of those.
Yeah, I kind of believe that.
I wish I could.
It's such a rig answer.
Did you say we all have to agree on it, or is it like one, one, one?
No, no.
It's your team together.
Okay. Yeah, yeah. it's your team together. Okay, all right.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a collab.
Yeah.
It's a total of 16 picks total for the whole draft.
All right, good.
Okay.
And Steven's on our team, too, but he doesn't have a mic, so he'll just have to.
Okay.
He's got some weird.
That's a detriment.
It could be.
It could be.
Steven, no mic.
Yeah.
All right, so spin it to see who goes first.
Carl gets a pen?
Yeah, I guess Carl gets a pen.
Yeah, no, it's home turf, man.
Home runs.
No, I brought one, too.
Oh, hell yeah.
Oh, yo.
Come on.
Oh, thank you.
CBD.
All right, here we go.
Write down the categories.
Looks like we go first.
Suspicious. Okay.
Very. TJ's unbiased.
Thank you, TJ. What do we want to do?
Whole board. The whole board's up there.
Whole board. So do we want to
set it like halfway through the alphabet?
Or do you want to just give it a nice
sweet serve, sweet return?
Is it still the alphabetical rule where they have to go after us?
Yeah, yeah. I don't trust them on a sweet return, though. I don't trust two of them on a sweet return. It's still the alphabetical rule where they have to go after us? Yeah, yeah. I don't trust them on a sweet return, though.
I don't trust two of them on a sweet return.
I have a place that we could do that's just nice for everyone.
You like it, Steven?
Okay.
I was saying our first pick could just be America.
It is the best.
I don't like that.
That's a pussy move.
Okay.
And I think that's showing weakness.
Okay.
I think that we could do something in the middle of the alphabet.
Okay.
I have something. I have another option that do something in the middle of the alphabet. Okay. I have something.
I have another option that's closer to the start of the alphabet.
Can you put it back up again?
Does it have...
It could be feeling or miscellaneous.
Blow job.
Blow job's a good feeling.
Giving and receiving.
No.
That opens up the whole board for them alphabetically.
So let's go partway through.
Because they could pick orgasm. All right. So you guys go partway through. Because they could pick Orgasm.
All right, so you guys go.
All right, yeah, yeah, all right.
We could go Michael Phelps.
That's a safe pick for athlete.
Oh, let's go Michael Jordan.
Yeah, right in the middle.
Why?
Because they can go messy.
No, because we took M.
Yeah, they have to do a last name.
Usually people are.
They repeat letters, though.
What do you mean?
If we have M, they can't use M.
Michael Jordan would be J in my head.
We could be progressive, set them back in the alphabet.
We could go Serena Williams.
Does that win the draft, though?
We don't have any women that watch this show.
So it's S?
Because it cuts the alphabet in half.
I'm just watching it so intently Because it cuts the alphabet in half. I'm just watching it so intently.
It cuts the alphabet
in half.
It's a great setup.
And then it also
is the best athlete.
You want to take
Michael Phelps over Michael Phelps.
No!
Why not Michael Phelps?
He's the most decorated
Olympian of all time.
Oh my God.
You guys care about swimming?
But that's because
there's not multiple
basketball events.
All right, finally
it's for Michael Jordan.
No, I didn't.
Michael Jordan.
Stephen, break the tie. I don't Michael Jordan. Stephen, break the tie.
I don't like this.
Michael Jordan.
Stephen, break the tie.
Michael Jordan's our first pick.
Athlete.
Athlete.
You guys.
It's classic.
Ever heard of him?
Classic.
Could you believe they tried to do Michael Phelps?
Yeah.
That's what we've got to deal with over here sometimes.
They can do Michael Phelps and beat us.
No, they can't.
Em is off the board.
Em is off the board.
Em's not off the board. No, it is. No, it can't. Em is off the board. Em is off the board, baby. What don't you understand?
Em's not off the board.
No, it is.
No, it's not.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it's off the board right now because we have to go later than Em, but we can come
back.
Come back.
I can come back.
I just have to go past it right now.
If it resets, they can come back.
I'm past it.
Yeah.
So it's Em, no O.
And we're going first names, clearly.
Let's just establish that first name.
I don't like that.
All right.
Em, no O.
All right.
Oprah. Wait, wait, wait. What right. All right. No O. All right. Oprah.
Wait, wait, wait.
For what feeling?
O's gone, dude.
We eliminated O.
For what feeling, we got to go pissing.
Oh, yeah.
O's gone.
Oh, fuck.
This is exactly what I wanted.
Just so confusing.
What about nutting?
Orgasm.
Some sort of.
What about pissing for pee?
That's a fucking great feeling.
Pissing is a great feeling.
Pissing over nutting?
I would rather blow a load.
Sometimes a good piss, dude.
Have you ever woke up in the middle of the night and taken a piss and just said,
How about the end of a bus trip?
This feels fucking incredible.
End of a bus trip?
I always get in my head about nutting.
End of a bus trip is a good answer.
Comparing an orgasm to a piss is a stretch, fellas.
Yeah, it is truly astonishing to try to put it into words.
One creates life.
The other one gets waste out of your body.
Experience.
Skydiving.
What about our rub and tug?
Is that experience?
Get jerked off?
Is that place on division still?
You.
You.
Yeah, sure.
It is.
The same.
We're saying Robin Tugger just better than sex.
No, I think White Sox Day was saying what there is an element of sex.
So you have to like try and their shame.
And yeah, no, you just want to know you're tied to sex.
Yeah.
But a Robin Tugger, there's there's a massage Yeah. But a rub and tug, there's a massage tied to it.
It's just about you.
Yeah.
It's true.
I don't hate that.
You are a tie woman to it.
You control the experience.
So rub and tug?
I don't hate nutting.
I think it's just nutting.
Let's just go nutting.
Join the club.
Nutting.
Is that a feeling or an experience?
That's a feeling.
That's a feeling.
It depends on what you want.
That's a feeling.
I think Rub and Tug is an experience.
Nutting is a feeling.
What if our list was just all the same?
Some related to...
Well, if we take nutting, can they come back around and take cumming later?
Oh, yeah.
Wait, would you rather nut or cum?
I think we should be.
But we could take bust.
No.
I don't think you should be able to do the same thing.
I think that eliminates bust.
I don't think you should be able to.
Like, if they're synonymous, I think that that goes antithetical to the letter.
No, no synonyms.
There's a huge difference between nutting and busting.
Oh, don't start.
Blowing a load is way bigger than busting one.
That's a B.
I think they're both orgasmic.
I think that it's in the same category.
It's fair. And O's are off the board. Nutting. I'm they're both orgasmic. I think that it's in the same category. It's fair.
And O's are off the board.
Nutting.
I'm comfortable with nutting.
Say nut.
But we all know what we mean.
We're not like cracking macadamias here.
Well, final answer.
Feeling nut.
All right.
Let's see what the board looks like after two.
Can someone write out the alphabet?
It's hard to keep track.
Yeah.
I thought Eddie was joking when he pulled up the alphabet.
I thought it was like a bit, but I keep looking at his screen.
It's definitely needed.
It's preparation.
All right, so we got to go after N.
I have something that's like just universally.
We just go pizza.
That's what I was going to say.
I mean, pizza's the best.
Hold on.
I mean, if we were going to vote on this, we'd say.
There we go.
All right, this is a good try.
This is going to be great because by the end,
you're just not going to be able to understand what any of these things are.
I'm there.
But 90 versus Michael Jordan is actually a good debate.
That's a good round one
like two strong picks would you rather have six titles or never come again
six titles coming is way better though yeah or never come again was the other option you're
asking if you want to i've come in six titles or be a woman yeah i want to win six titles or be a woman. Yeah. I want to win the six championships.
Okay, so what do you guys want to do?
I don't mind pizza.
I mean, think about it, fellas. We can push them further down the alphabet.
Well, we can, but we can do that later, too.
We don't have to right now.
Like, we can play nice.
What about pepperoni pizza?
Pepperoni pizza or ranch dressing?
This is the best.
Yeah.
Okay.
Relaxing. Just wanted to. Ooh, that's a. Okay. Relaxing.
Just wanted to.
Ooh, that's a good one.
Vacation.
Oh.
That's experience.
That's open-ended.
Do you want to push them far?
Vacation would push them a little bit, but do we have Zs?
I don't want to get stuck with a Z.
ABCD, FJ, JJ, L, M, N, P, Q, R, S.
Pizza is going to win against whatever other food there is.
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.
I don't think we have to worry about the alphabet yet.
I think that comes in later.
Well, Wagyu for food.
Wagyu beef.
Wagyu.
That'd be a good one.
But you don't get to have that enough pizza.
That's an experience.
I think pizza is the common.
I like pizza.
What if they went steak?
Oh.
Fuck.
So we could go steak, though.
Yeah, let's just go steak.
Steak, steak.
What if they went taco?
No.
No, no, no.
No, steak beats taco.
Steak, steak, steak.
Steak.
Steak.
And that eliminates the synonym of wagon.
Good job, KB.
Yes.
Okay.
Oh, does it?
I think. They have Vienna sausages on the board. Okay. Oh, does it? I think.
They have Vienna sausages on the board.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Save that.
So food.
So you guys take your food.
You guys take your athlete.
Right.
There's no pressure for us.
We can still keep attacking.
Should we do a Y word?
Come up with a great Y word.
What did they take first?
Box them in.
Nutting.
Yeah.
Experience?
No, that was feeling.
X feeling.
What do you got for an X?
What about a place?
Miscellaneous? Yeah, why don't you use the X as a strategic move take an X
I don't want to then you guys go why and then where Z I for we process
Machine we were pretty respectful when you guys were strategizing. Well, that's true. No, I'm saying just be quiet
Let him go xylophone no no that's that's just coming up with that guys i would crush that dude yeah i would crush that with yo-yo
we could go save your nady uh what about b what about b and we'll drop a vagina on them
is that an experience let him them do it. You prefer big ones
big thick meaty.
How about Tim Duncan?
Fundamental is an athlete up against Michael
Jordan. It's insane. How many athletes
do we get? Just one?
We need to
be picking a category they haven't picked. We need to
take the best of a category.
We don't need to be doing athlete. We don't need to do athlete to the eighth round.
You're right.
We got Frank the Tank distracting us right now
with hot dogs.
There's got to be a good W.
They said steak.
No, we don't have to do that.
Watermelon's pretty
fucking good.
Watermelon's good.
TJ, should we implement a shot clock?
Not saying they're going over, but let's do that going forward.
What about this?
Two minutes?
I don't know why this just popped into my head.
I've never been there, but I would love to go there one day.
Yellowstone National Park.
For why?
Box them in a little bit?
You know, I like that strategy, but I don't know.
These dudes are about to take a super volcano.
All right.
Kill us all. All right, so after this round, it's about to take a super volcano. All right. Kill us all.
All right, so after this round, it's going to be a two-minute shot clock.
Okay, all right.
So you guys have unlimited right now.
No, we do have unlimited.
We're going to use it.
You guys took what, steak?
Yeah.
I'm on the edge of my seat.
We're sleeping on steak.
What could be an experience for W or Y?
Wasted.
Like getting wasted is an experience.
It's an awesome one.
That's not an adjective.
Don't leave T on the board.
That's what I'm saying.
T is a fat letter.
I'm going to leave it right now.
What are some T foods?
Tamales are probably too niche.
It's not even that great
Mexican food
yeah
tacos would be the play
and then I think
I don't hate going tacos
I love a taco
a taco is excellent
I'm stuck
tacos are titties
you have to decide
titties
we gotta go
why do you give a titty
why is it fucking
it's a camera cow
we gotta go tits
can we go titties
for my guy
what
not for food
they have to do food no they don't they don't What? Not for food. They have to do food.
No, they don't.
They don't have to do food.
Oh, they don't have to do food.
It's miscellaneous.
Oh, shit.
I just thought when I hear tacos, I think titties.
Let's take titties and start thinking and hustle up a little.
I feel unprepared.
Are we worried about the horniness of our draft?
No, not worried about the horniness.
We've got to get the big hitters.
Tits are very popular.
That's fine.
For what?
For miscellaneous?
We'll go with the tits. We'll go with tits. They did not have titties on the big hitters. Tits are very popular. That's fine. For what? For miscellaneous? We'll go with T.J.
They did not have titties on the brain at all.
I know, but when you say tacos, I think titties.
Dave, that's on you.
That is on me.
I'll own up to that one.
All right, Dave, make the pick for us.
Make the official pick.
With the third pick of the fourth pick of the Yak draft,
we're Team Barstool Chicago is going to draft tits.
Or tits, which suck. I'm'm sorry the margin of error is for the record most of our picks have been slip ups by you guys so
Thank you, yeah
We're good at that
What it's under miscellaneous all right so we'll do two minute two minute rounds going forward yeah yeah
Can, we get a clock up there i don't hate uterus. Dave, do you want to pick
a titties image for the
board? I would love to.
Who's the girl from Sports Illustrated
that had the iPod? Brooklyn Decker.
Remember when you said Kate Upton was a
six? I do. I was thinking
about that blog yesterday. What?
That was a real thing.
He said that in 2013.
He's like, if I saw Declan's in Old Town, I wouldn't even fucking talk to her.
With respect to other models, I will take that to the grave.
I was thinking about that blog I wrote yesterday.
Thank God for the DevNest.
I would have gotten beyond cancer for it.
That's so funny.
This is all hypothetical anyways.
Yeah, that was a joke.
I joked.
Yeah. All right. Are you. I joked. Yeah.
All right.
Are you ready for the clock?
Yeah.
Tell us when.
Okay.
I'm worried about it because, I mean, it's U-V-W.
They got tits.
I got the, I have the.
We get water.
We can go like winning a Super Bowl.
Winning.
No.
Winning is a great feeling.
Why not use the best type of win?
Olympic gold, Super Bowl.
But just winning.
Winning.
Just winning.
Who doesn't love that?
Did you watch the Olympics last night?
What's going on? I'm just trying to think if you take the mean of all wins,
it's going to be pretty underwhelming.
Yeah, but they're winning this argument right now.
It probably feels pretty good. Winning. Yeah, we they're winning this argument right now. It probably feels pretty good.
Winning. Yeah, we are. That's a good point.
I do feel good. People will see winning and they'll
Winning.
It's just winning. When you win
it feels great. Yes. Or for feeling.
Experience.
I think it's feeling.
I think it's feeling. Playing a miscellaneous
and having other stuff, like
keeping the feeling around because that's a little bit more broad.
All right, fine.
Let's do miscellaneous.
Winning.
No?
No, because there's only so many feelings and experiences.
Miscellaneous, we could take a feeling or an experience.
One minute.
All right, fine.
I'm good with winning.
Yeah, winning for experience.
We could also do, we could box them in with a Y word.
I'm down with a Y.
You want to do, you should play youth?
How much time is on the clock?
No.
We already said it.
We already said it.
No, youth.
Youth is better than winning.
Yes, youth is better than winning.
Youth is better?
Yes, youth is everything.
Having your youth?
Yeah, youth is better.
So is that technically a feeling or an experience?
It's an experience.
I don't like that.
It's miscellaneous.
Oh, miscellaneous youth?
I don't like youth that much.
Why?
What's wrong with you today?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
If you guys are strong.
Youth.
Youth is the best.
I would rather be...
Strategically think about the play.
I would much rather be 21 than 12.
Yes, those are both youth.
Yeah, that's youth.
That's still having your youth.
Where is the cutoff on youth?
Nah, it's just...
Youth is...
Youth is anything younger than you.
I like winning more.
So is it experience or feeling?
Miscellaneous.
Youth.
Youth.
Miscellaneous. Miscellaneous miscellaneous youth final answer fuck
I like winning I got a Z or Z. Yeah. Are we up now? Yeah
All right. Can we just take a bunch of Z's in a row like sleep like?
Why can't I catch some Fucking Z's around here Catching Z's
Catching Z's
I have something
Putting my foot down
We're taking Z's
This is me being a bigger man
Should they get two picks in a row
If they take a Z and it resets
Cause then we could just take
Another end of the alphabet
No
That was strategic
We just
That's why we took Y
I'm with Nick
I think it should be
Nick what are you doing
That's strategy
I'm just trying to make this
No They could do the same thing To us next time They could have taken Y Last round Right You're right Okay I'm with Nick. I think it should be. Nick, what are you doing? That's strategy. I'm just trying to make this as fair as possible.
No, they could do the same thing to us next time.
They could have taken Y last round.
Right.
You're right.
Okay.
What about a reverse rule where we can start going backwards in the alphabet if we're like,
we don't like going forward?
No, I think this is.
But you have to go one letter behind.
Z resets everything.
We're back to the start.
And then we obviously have, midwayway through we said we're going to
eliminate one more letter yeah we'll spin the wheel okay and then the eighth round will be an
exact you have to spin and decide what from that okay so we're on to a all right so the clock
starts now start thinking about your zacks i mean that's z that's for the that's for the
i mean obviously you have zag from say by the bell we can't do catching i don't think that's
i think it's gonna be a word we. We could take Zach Morris, Zach L.
Efren, Zelda.
Zach Ranky.
Fuck Zach Ranky.
Galifianakis.
What about...
Zero from...
What about zombies?
What about zebras?
I was just going to say zebras.
They're a pretty sweet animal.
Going to the zoo is a good thing.
I don't like zoos.
I don't like zoos.
It's right a bad...
We cannot catch Zs.
The Z-none? No, This is right a bad. We cannot catch these. The Xenon.
No, it would be a C.
Z.
What if it was just all Zippers?
Zippers.
Zippers are not good, Ed.
No.
Oh, I think that's a great innovation.
I love it.
I love it.
Yeah, these are great.
Can we take zipper as an invention?
I don't know.
Zucchini bread.
Zodiac sign.
I love the Zodiac killer was probably the best killer at all ever killed.
Nobody caught him, right?
Yeah, it's true.
They didn't ever catch him.
He's like a, wasn't he like a government official in Texas?
It's open-ended.
It's open-ended.
Zombies?
What about zigging when someone zags?
That's good.
That's a good one.
That's good.
Like, you zig, I zag.
What about that dude that sends us the topics that'll always get us canceled on the rundown?
Zoopy?
Yeah.
Kevin, we drafted him.
This is the best draft.
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Or the roller coaster Wisconsin Dells. That's kind of niche.
I want the cartoon version. Yeah, I want that guy. If you can find one with a lightning bolt
in his hand, I'd prefer that too.
Zeus is great. Great call.
Way to pick up a Z.
That is a clutch.
Wait, so what is that?
Miscellaneous?
Zeus? That's miscellaneous.
Yeah, let's leave that as miscellaneous.
I don't think you can do it on anything else.
He's an Olympian. How many let's leave that as miscellaneous. But I don't think you could do it on anything else. Well, he's an athlete.
He's not an athlete.
How many gold medals did he win?
Did you watch the Olympics last night?
Why?
It's been on your mind.
I said Michael Phelps.
And then winning an Olympic gold medal.
Which is objectively probably the best feeling in the world.
No way.
I would so much rather win a Super Bowl than a fucking...
No disrespect, but you grew up as a wrestler.
That's the biggest thing.
You can't say winning as a team and sharing that win with others
is better than winning as an individual.
I would say that sharing is always better than doing something alone.
You would rather win in a team championship than a boxing title.
Is KB just a sneaky, very selfish guy?
No, he's just a wrestler.
It's a better feeling. I thinkB just a sneaky, very selfish guy? No, he's just a wrestler. It's just
inherently, it's a better feeling. You could argue.
I think it's lonely though. I think it's very lonely when you're alone.
You could have got Zendaya. Yeah, look what
happened to Tiger.
I'm not, I'm actually,
no, I wouldn't take Zendaya. I like
Zeus. Alright, Zeus is the pick.
Alright, so let's see the board.
We're three, yeah.
Full alphabet. We'll wait. Let's look at this board reset.
So we've taken an athlete and a food.
You guys have taken...
Nutting, titties, and Greek God.
So what was the experience?
We might be getting bought in here.
Shit.
I like our board.
I actually do.
Nutting and titties.
We need to get hornier in this back nine.
Yeah.
Nutting and titties is fucking... Okay, sure we in this back nine. Yeah. Nutting and titties is fucking.
Okay, sure we do.
All right,
do you want to start our?
I don't hate.
Should we just do vagina?
I don't hate USA for place.
Is it USA or America?
It's USA.
Well, USA would put them
out for you.
What?
What about ass?
Ass.
If they have tits,
we get ass.
We get ass.
Then we're just gonna
We get fat ass
Fat ass
Or like
What about perfect ass?
Yeah
I think adding adjectives
Adds all
Yeah you're right
You're right
Ass though
No adjectives
Give them the alphabet
Or what about just sex?
Ass is better
Sex is a feeling
Ass is better than sex
I'd rather
Yeah
Okay
What about like
What are. What category
are we going for? What categories are left for us?
What about like nirvana for feeling?
High?
Drunk?
Where's the clock?
Drunk is for feeling.
What is you thunder?
What is you thunder?
It's okay.
What's like the best feeling? Nirvana, Thunder? Sometimes it's not good. Excited. What is you, Thunder? Miscellaneous. Miscellaneous. It's okay. What's the best feeling?
Nirvana, right?
Yeah.
Other one would be Zen, which is a Z.
Feeling Zen.
Throw them back.
No, but that would help them.
That would give them the whole alphabet.
Nirvana?
Drunk?
Or ass?
Ass?
I think we take ass just to count it.
All right, yeah, all right, ass.
Let's do ass.
Ass is a miscellaneous.
We need to get an ass on there.
No, no, wait, wait, wait.
Do we definitely want it?
Or should we try and take feeling?
I don't know.
KB, we've been overriding you.
All right, yeah, KB, you got it.
No, no, no, you picked.
You're right, you're right, you're right.
I don't even know what Nirvana is.
Okay.
I think that's a place.
But isn't it the best feeling in the world?
Isn't it the best feeling?
No.
It's statistically, or not, it's...
It's by definition.
By definition, the best feeling that you can...
It is 30 seconds.
It is 30 seconds.
Yes, but it's more even specific than just the euphoria. i can see the audience not fucking with that pic but i nirvana i think we got to be true to ourselves nirvana feeling nirvana but the feeling not the band all right
what about a word for heaven all right wait hold on reset wait to reset and the tj will
no it's like heaven but you're still alive. Yeah, that's how we're feeling.
Hey, look at that.
That guy is feeling it.
Yeah, use that guy.
That's the guy you need.
That's going to lose us both.
No, give us Buddha.
Give us a fat ass experiencing Nirvana.
Some titties experiencing Nirvana.
No, get the guy with the right with his mind wandering.
Yeah, that one.
All right, so we got to start with peas.
And so after your guys pick, we spin the wheel again.
I mean, we should just take pizza.
Yeah, we should just take pizza.
Don't overthink it.
Put it right back in the corner.
Pizza.
Right back to these guys.
Pizza.
Right back to you.
Just shoot.
Don't pick.
Chicago style pizza it is.
So what do we need?
How about just all pizzas?
Yeah.
All right.
All right.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
No disrespect to Angelo's of the world.
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They're throwing a free Bird Dogs dad hat.
That's BirdDogs.com.
Promo code YAK.
Boom.
Free Bird Dogs dad hat.
Bird Dogs pants are my favorite.
Joggers, shorts, everything.
Bird Dogs has it.
And they also have the built-in liners.
Okay, so wait. What did you guys do? Pizza? We did pizza. They're doing good. Experience. They Dogs has it. And they also have the built-in liners. Okay, so what did you guys do?
Pizza?
We did pizza.
They're doing good.
Experience, we could take travel.
No, hold on.
Let's reset.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's four.
Yeah, yeah.
We're taking some off.
We're halfway through.
We have to take a letter off.
Should we spin the wheel before each round, get rid of a letter before each round now?
I'm fine with that.
Yeah, I'm fine with that, too.
Well, let's do the $25 thing again.
Let's do $25. Okay. That was nice. I would honestly just do that the rest of the time. Yeah, I could with that. Yeah, I'm fine with that too. Let's do the $25 thing again. Let's do $25.
Okay.
That was nice.
I would honestly just do that the rest of the time.
Yeah, I could do that.
Yeah, we do that a lot, that kind of stuff.
Steve, do you want to start this time?
Yeah, we'll start, Steve.
Just to kind of go opposite.
So this is to eliminate a letter, and it's the same rules.
It's $25 if none of the letters get picked that we pick.
It then goes to $50 and then up from there.
Yeah.
Is the real yeah no practice no
practice i don't know s from steven tj e um n n um y y t t i'll go with Y. Y. T. T.
I'll go with J.
W.
W.
That's my first overall pick.
B.
B.
V.
V.
Crowded.
X.
X.
Very crowded at the end.
Okay.
Feel good.
This is intense.
Mm-hmm.
All right, we're halfway through the draft. Wait, is this 25 or 50?
25.
It goes up if no one lands on it.
Okay, okay, okay.
Does anyone want me to scissor them a piece of bread?
It's better scissored.
I'll have some.
Yeah.
You want some?
I would.
I'm in ketosis.
Nice.
Pissing on the strips?
You pissing on the strips? You pissing on the strips?
Not yet
So you don't know if you're in ketosis?
I just know I am
He knows his body enough
Yeah
Okay here we go
It's nice
What do I got?
Good question dude
Oh my god
Wow What is he? You mother fucker Are you fucking No Good question, guys. Oh, my God. Wow.
What is he?
You motherfucker.
Are you fucking?
No.
No fucking way. That's rigged.
No, it's rigged.
No, it's rigged.
It's rigged.
No, no, no.
It's rigged.
Listen, nobody knows the wheel like I know the wheel.
It's rigged.
Yeah, no shit.
I wouldn't be able to figure that out.
So, first of all, don't say that term.
It makes me miss him.
Oh, yeah.
He was there last weekend.
What?
Yeah, he was.
We watched the Masters together.
Damn.
The place was hopping.
Yeah.
I got a $50 cap with you.
We'll clear up afterwards.
Something's amiss here.
You winning twice in a row.
All right, what's off?
E's off
That's bullshit
Alright it's our pick
You want to do the timer?
Let's pay TJ
Yeah we all owe TJ
Pass this down KB
25
Maybe you can use all this money
To get a new dad
Yeah if you got a 10
Send me that 10
No his dad's still alive
He's just a loser
He's 10 matches He's just a loser Yeah
He's Tim Hitchings
It's almost worse
Yeah
Disgusting
That's bullshit
I paid for 15 of someone else's
How much was it?
I paid for 5 of someone else's
I own 50
I've met him
This is a coup
Yeah
TJ just fucking
He's like Kevin Malone Playing Dallas Also we might be getting Boat raced by them right now Yeah I've been met him. This is a coup. Yeah, TJ just fucking...
He's like Kevin Malone playing Dallas.
Also, we might be getting boat raced by them right now.
Yeah, it's bad.
When you look back at youth,
it was a good strategic play in the moment.
I just don't understand it.
No, but then they found Zeus.
Why don't you understand it?
Your youth is something precious.
You're shackled by rules and acne and teen woes.
You just think of youth as being 10. Yeah, you're in your youth right now, bro. You're youngled by rules and acne and teen woes. You just think of youth as being 10.
Yeah, you're in your youth right now, bro.
You're young right now.
I guess if you-
You're drinking and fucking without anybody telling you you can't.
If you look at it that way, then yeah.
All right, let's go.
Set the timer.
Are we up?
No, we are.
We are.
TJ, I just Venmo'd you.
Can you-
I like our board. Never mind. Wait, go back to that. Go back to the other one, we are. We are. TJ, I just Venmo'd you. Can you – I like our board.
Never mind.
Wait, go back to that.
Go back to the other one, TJ.
Jesus, TJ.
TJ, that's from me.
So what do we have left?
So we have athlete on the board.
Yeah.
So place, experience, and two miscellaneous.
No, feeling of nirvana.
Yeah, feeling.
So what we have left is place, experience, and two miscellaneous.
Yes, I'm sorry. Yes. All right. Ready, feeling. So what we have left is place, experience, and two miscellaneous. Yes, I'm sorry.
Yes.
All right.
Ready, TJ?
All right.
Should we take the USA now?
Either that.
We take USA, then they don't have a lot of options.
Yeah, you're right.
Let's do that.
We've got to go across the world.
What?
No, letter-wise.
I got it.
Oh, fuck.
No, they can't take Hawaii if we take USA.
That's what I mean.
It encompasses that.
They could take Yellowstone.
No, that's in the United States of America.
Why don't we just take Hawaii?
We get it all.
How about universe?
There it is.
The world?
Universe.
Yeah, they'd have to come up with some name for some fucking star or something.
There is a lot of bad in the world.
Universe isn't going to win.
I think we just have to be USA.
I think we just go USA.
USA.
USA.
USA.
USA.
We need to win.
We need to win.
USA.
United States of America. USA. USA. USA. We need to win. We need to win. USA. I got one.
United States of America place.
Bam.
Put it on the board.
All right.
That's your place?
It feels good.
I would then suggest that our place should be a place within USA.
Start to the W.
Can we go to WrestleMania?
Do we like WWE?
I'm not the Royal Rumble guy.
Royal Rumble?
Can't do R.
Yeah, I know.
So we got five options here.
Food's out.
We need a place.
Experience, Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.
We need a place and experience, an athlete, and a miscellaneous.
Yes.
Place, experience, athlete, miscellaneous.
Some of our miscellaneouses have to be horny.
Willy Wonka. Yes. Willy Wonka's not a place.aneous. Some of our miscellaneous have to be horny. Willy Wonka.
Yes.
Willy Wonka's not a place.
You don't think it's a factory place?
Chocolate factory?
It absolutely is.
It's not a real place.
That's a fictional place.
We're competing against the United States here.
We've got to bring more to the table than Willy Wonka.
Okay, that's fair.
I think maybe we should wait for place until we're back at the front of the alphabet.
Let's focus on some.
You start brainstorming V.
Dave, you're on W. I'll take
Y.
So I got X?
Take whatever else you like.
Hot mouth on... That's good.
Washing up experience.
Say that again?
Washing up, but it's
not a good way to put it.
Like showering is not...
Oh, no way.
Yes. What about an XXX rated Like showering is not Oh no What? Yes
What about an XXX rated
Like a strip club
What happens when they run out of time?
Strip clubs stink though
Experience?
X rated movie?
X rated movies
X rated movies
Alright
What take a porn?
Who doesn't like porn?
But porn doesn't have ratings anymore
It's just on the internet
Y and Z's
Let's try to go a Y
Yeah
They went
Was that our experience?
Did they go?
Did they win it?
They won X-rated?
They got X-rated movie
Is that your pick?
Is that our pick?
I don't think I've ever seen
An X-rated movie
Oh we did?
You've never seen porn
That's porn
Yes it is
That's what I'm taking
I think no
I think it's canon.
X-rating?
Like a gory movie?
Okay.
Don't get technical.
It has to be a film.
No, no, Dave.
Yeah, you're right.
It has to be in a movie theater.
All right, so it's...
Oh, Dave.
You want to tell us when the clock starts for us?
Wait, what?
Is Y and Z both?
We got to go Y.
We got to go Y.
We have to go Y.
What about Zen?
No, we don't want Zen. That resets it for us. Oh, yeah, we have to go Y. We have to go Y. What about Zen? No, we don't want Zen.
That resets it for us.
Oh, yeah.
We have to go Y.
Y.
Yahweh?
Isn't that God?
God.
We're getting really too technical.
Yeah.
Huh?
Yugging beers.
Or what about the yams?
Like an ass?
No, like a vagina.
Oh, I thought the yams was an ass.
I think it's vagina.
We should've gone Y.
You know, there's a Yo-Yo Ma, the cellist.
No.
Pretty good. Yasmeet Ble's got there's a hot wine woman yasmine belief yes baywatch baywatch watch
yasmine can we do we have a timeout we can pull up yasmine police
can we call timeout how many times we won't talk we won't talk we won't talk
how many timeouts you get just one but you can't talk. We won't talk. How many time outs you got?
Just one, but you can't talk during it.
Start thinking Z's here.
That's Yasmin Bleach right there.
Bam.
Yeah, but then you call a DJ.
Take her. What do you do?
Get off. Get it off.
Hey, no way.
Wait, wait. Alright, alright.
I got it. I got it. Wait, wait. All right, all right.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
Yak.
No.
Why?
It's very inconsistent.
Fuck.
All right.
Cocaine.
Yanni, live at the Acropolis.
Oh, Yanni's pretty good.
Yahweh was good.
Yahweh.
How much?
Yes, like just the answer, the feeling.
The band?
Yes, the band rocks.
For the queen to.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Don't sing.
Don't sing.
We got to focus.
Yes as a feeling?
No.
No.
Yawning?
No.
Oh, that is a good feeling.
Exhilarating.
Yeah.
I like yawning.
Yemen?
No.
A lot of oil.
A lot of oil.
A lot of oil.
A lot of genocide. A lot of oil. A lot of oil. A lot of genocide.
A lot of oil.
Someone with a yard.
What do we have?
What do we have?
What?
No.
Urine.
Urine.
No, that's...
Urinating.
A yard is nice, Kyle.
A yard is not bad.
A yard is a miscellaneous.
Yeah.
I know these guys love yard.
No, a yard is not that good.
Yeah, a yard.
A yard is good.
A yard is pretty good, dude.
I would kill for a yard.
Who doesn't love a yard?
A good yard that you can just chill in?
Yard.
Miscellaneous.
So we got Zs?
I like yard.
I like yard a little bit.
I like yard.
Especially giving them a Z?
Yeah.
Wait, wait, wait.
So what was X-rated movies?
Was that experience?
I think that would be miscellaneous too, wasn't it?
It would have to be miscellaneous. So we have
food,
athlete, and place done.
We still need to do...
Feeling. No, feeling is nirvana.
So we need to do experience and two miscellaneous.
Extra miscellaneous.
I don't know if we should waste...
Should we burn an experience next or just get
horny next?
What about...
All right, so we're up.
We got to eat.
What about a ZJ?
What's that?
Yeah, we're ready.
You can't afford it.
I think we should...
What is it, though?
It's the joke.
It's a ZJ.
What'd you say it is?
It's like a...
Experience.
They said it would have to be miscellaneous.
You were a big Zelda guy.
Zelda's water temple?
It's the worst...
Zelda Ocarina of Time is by far the best one.
Zelda Ocarina of Time is the greatest game of all.
Zelda video game catalog.
Take the whole catalog.
I don't want just one Zelda.
Majora's Mask wasn't that good.
I'm playing a Zelda now on Nintendo Switch.
The yard is what shaped America.
It is the American dream.
It's why everyone moved to the suburbs.
We're not debating.
You already got yard.
Your hand's off the chess piece.
I'm self-conscious about the yard pick.
Trying to justify it.
I love the yard pick.
Hey, KB.
Z.
Zen.
That was a good pick.
Zen, Zendaya.
Well, what do we need, though?
We need a place to experience her an athlete.
But didn't they already use a Z?
Zedane. Yeah, but. We need an athlete? We need a place to experience her an athlete. But didn't they already use a Z? Zidane.
Yeah, but.
We need an athlete.
We can take Zidane.
We reset it.
One minute.
One minute.
One minute.
We need an experience.
Zelda's Water Temple, bro.
Zelda.
We hate that, though.
What about Zinedine Zidane?
That's Zidane.
Yeah, Zidane would be fine.
Zidane?
That's an athlete.
Did I say his name wrong?
Zidane Zacks?
How about that golfer from Iowa?
Zach Johnson?
Yeah, he's so bald.
Everybody loves Zach.
He's not an athlete.
He hasn't done anything in a while.
We need a person to go home.
Why are you laughing?
I still think Z's should be allowed.
30 seconds.
It's like a feeling, like sleeping.
I don't see why. I think that should be allowed. A place to go to. Can I go to think Z's should be allowed. 30 seconds. Is like a feeling, like sleeping. I don't see why it wouldn't be.
I think that should be allowed.
A place to go to.
Can I go to the Z's?
No.
What?
The place?
Experience.
15 seconds.
I don't hate Zelda.
I don't hate Zidane.
I don't like those.
Let's go with Zelda.
Ocarina of Time.
Zelda catalog.
That's a good pick.
Zelda games.
Zelda video games. Zelda video games. Oh, no. Zelda video games was Zelda. Ocarina. Zelda catalog. That's a good pick. Zelda games. Zelda video games.
Zelda video games.
Oh, no.
Zelda video games.
Zelda.
Make sure you put in, what is it called?
Unbelievable.
Game that came out 23 years ago.
Make sure you put in Ocarina and also Majora's Mask.
No, we want Ocarina.
We just want the guy.
We just want the guy.
It's a girl.
Is that a girl?
Link is a girl.
No, Link is the guy. I think that's a girl. Wait. Wait, want the guy. It's a girl. Is that a girl? Link is a girl. Link is the guy.
Wait. Wait.
Wait, Succeed.
Have you been thinking Zelda's a boy the whole
time? No, Zelda's a girl. I said that.
No, you just flipped it around just now.
Rewind the tapes. Zelda's
the princess. Zelda's the princess. Okay,
yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. We're good.
Zelda's a girl? We're on the same page now.
Zelda. Do we still have an experience?
It's their miscellaneous.
It's miscellaneous.
They're out of miscellaneous?
No, we're not.
We're not out of miscellaneous.
Who said we're out of miscellaneous?
Let's pull up the board.
Zelda's an athlete anyways.
You ever try to shoot an arrow off a horse and hit a ghost?
Wait, how many picks do they have left?
Four?
Come on, Zorro.
Oh, no.
I don't know if you guys have a...
Nutting was a feeling.
Nutting is a feeling.
Feeling.
Pizza is a food.
Yes.
It's his misc.
Zeus is misc.
And X-rated is misc.
That's three miscs.
X-rated is more of a feeling.
No.
It's more of an experience.
You have nothing.
X-rated is an experience.
X-rated movies is not an experience.
Give him 30 seconds back on the clock.
Why not?
You're learning.
Wait, let's give that to them as experience.
That sucks.
What sucks?
X-rated movie as your experience?
No, no, no.
Like jerking off?
That's not jerking off.
That's not jerking off.
That's not jerking off.
It's just watching it?
Yeah.
You weirdos.
It's not a good experience.
That might be the worst experience ever.
You don't have masturbation
Let's give them 30 seconds on the clock
Because they didn't realize they're out of miscellaneous
I didn't know the category was dried up
What do they need to pick from?
We need 30 seconds on the clock
What do I take Zidane?
Place, experience, or athlete
Experience could be Zen
Like you've reached Zen
That could be experience
What about Zurich as a place? What about international banking laws? could be Zen. Like you've reached Zen. That could be experience. We have Nirvana.
What about Zurich as a place?
What about international banking laws?
Zurich sucks. We don't want to be there.
Take Zen?
Yeah, hit back at Nirvana.
We'll go... TJ, we're going to go with Zen.
Fuck, dude. I wish I could give him fucking Zen.
No, no, because...
Zen is just diet Nirvana. No, it's better. No, no, because I ran my stupid fucking mouth. Zen is just diet nirvana.
No, it's better.
It's better because it's like enlightenment.
No, no, no, no.
You get to Zen.
Zen is like a pre-bar for nirvana.
It's a heightened state of consciousness you guys wouldn't understand.
No, you just said nirvana.
No, that's Zen.
No, no, no, no.
Zen is like right before you fall asleep.
We need to make up for the flub we had. Okay, I have an idea No, no, no, no. Zen is... It's inner peace. It's inner peace.
We need to make up for the flub we had.
Okay.
I have an idea.
I have an idea, too. I do, too.
Go.
Just say them.
Quick.
Start.
Time starts.
I think we take winning as our experience, though.
We didn't use winning?
No.
We took...
Okay, so...
We took youth as a feeling.
Cream pie is objectively the best feeling in the world.
You mean... Coming in pussy would be the same letter as... Is that objectively the best feeling in the world. You mean coming in pussy with the same letter as?
Is that not the best sensation in the world?
Yeah, but you're hit with instant panic post.
Yeah.
I would say just go sex.
After you're done coming, then it voids.
No.
Then you have the negative elements of sex.
Cream pie is the best part of sex, right? Go back to blowjobs. How is it not? Cream pie is not the best part of sex. Cream pie is the best part of sex, right?
Go back to blowjobs.
How is it not?
Cream pie is not the best part of sex.
What is?
How is it not?
Stop arguing it.
Stop arguing it.
Cream pie marks the end of sex.
Yeah, but that's...
Yes, as long as you're in the process of...
No way.
It's the journey.
Don't talk to them.
We got to get a pick.
Winning then.
Ass.
What about the experience of picking up a chick?
Picking up a girl at like the... No, no. What? That's that's like a win that's a good experience but it's not the best experience
i think ron's right though we got to get horny just not cream pie horny but you just want to
take ass i don't know am i am i going crazy what about your sex cream you know what fucking cream
pies why can you find a picture, though, of a cream pie?
No, that has to be the... This is going to be a challenge.
Well, the best feeling...
I don't know.
No, then let's not do it.
All right, then don't do it.
I'm fine with it.
No, if I can definitely...
Pie and a chick you just met.
Winning because it puts them in the end of the alphabet.
Winning.
No, we're going to be...
We're going to have to be at the end of the alphabet.
Winning is the best experience.
But we're going to have to do Z then.
Cream pie opens everything up for us for our last one.
Yeah.
It's your...
Or ass.
You want to do ass.
You want to do fat ass.
Big ass.
How much?
20 seconds.
Ass, sex, or cream pie.
Don't ask me.
Everybody vote.
No.
I'm going to ask you three.
Between you three.
Not cream pie.
I vote...
Ass or sex?
Ass.
Vote, vote, vote. Ass. I'm going to ask. Alright, ass. Ten. Ash. Ash. Vote, vote, vote.
Ash.
I'm going to ask.
All right, Ash.
Ash.
Ash.
Is this for misc then?
Yes.
Yes.
We have two miscs left, right?
No, no.
This is our last misc.
We have.
What do we have left?
Now we just have experience.
Okay.
All right.
Experience.
And we're going to be put into that.
This is huge.
We're going to take a horny athlete.
We're taking.
We got to take.
Is it Latin? We got to take Tiger. Tiger Woods. Oh We're going to take a horny athlete. We're taking... We got to take... Zlatan?
We got to take Tiger.
Tiger Woods.
Oh, okay.
A horny, great athlete.
I like it.
Slam dunk pick over here for us.
Tiger.
You guys back to the bottom of the alphabet.
It's a quick serve back, too.
Eldrick is his name?
Tiger.
Eldrick is his name.
Are you that heated over cream pie?
I just... It's the fact that you guys were so adamant Eldrick is his name. Are you that heated over cream pie?
It's the fact that you guys were so adamant about it not being a good pick.
We're taking somebody who's... Hey, Kyle, you just leave it in.
Just leave it in.
No.
If that's what you're into, just leave it in.
It's fine.
The dick and the pussy?
Yeah.
Leave it in.
That's exactly what he's saying.
Leave it in.
I'm just saying when you're granted the opportunity, that's...
Whatever.
Yeah.
Ass.
Ass.
The all-encompassing ass.
Yes.
I like Tiger Woods as a pick.
Yeah, Tiger.
Eldrick?
No, Tiger.
What's his official name?
Tiger.
Eldrick.
I like them taking Tiger Woods.
Oh, it doesn't matter because we're spinning for the last one anyway.
Yeah, we are.
Tiger, he pied a lot of chicks.
Sure did.
He probably liked it more than you do.
It destroyed his life.
Yeah, that's how good it is.
I'll be honest right now.
Cream pie, we may never recover as a show.
No.
You're legitimately mad.
Not that we didn't take it.
It's just like, you guys were on so far of a page for me.
I'm sensitive after I bust.
It's not after.
The cream pie is the act of busting.
As long as you're ejaculating in the vagina, that's probably like three to five seconds. It's not after. The cream pie is the act of busting.
As long as you're ejaculating in the vagina,
that's probably like three to five seconds.
It's cream pie.
That's the cream pie.
Can we put cream pie on ours?
Can we switch?
No.
It's gross to think about.
No censored cream pies?
You got to learn how to gosh and blur over there.
Wait, so for this last one, it's a spin?
Let's do a $25 thing. Yeah, let's do another $25.
It's a spin, and then you decide.
How many guys have we got?
We should each pick two letters and go $100.
We have 10 of us.
Two letters, $100. We got 10 of us. Two letters.
We got to recover from cream pie gate before we go.
No, it's fine.
Are we still drafting?
No, I don't know what to do at this point.
No, you can't second guess cream pies.
I am.
I apologize for not hearing you out on cream pies.
I think the name is gross.
It is a gross name.
I hate the name.
I hate saying it.
It's squishy.
I hate thinking about it. I don't know. Now I'm disgusted. Ass is a gross name. I hate the name. I hate saying it. Squishy. I hate thinking about it.
Oozing.
Now I'm disgusted.
No, Ash is a good pick.
Look at how it looks on the board.
Ash plays.
He chose a Sandy.
Especially with titties.
Titties and Ash will cancel each other out the same way that Nirvana and Zen play off
of each other.
Yards is our worst pick.
No.
Yes, it is.
Yards is awful.
Yards is fantastic.
Oh, I think that's a great is fantastic It doesn't play on that
Fucking on the field like that
Everything else is heavy hitters
And then there's yards
Yards
Imagine having a
Fourth of July barbecue
Tetherball
Really
You could do that
In the house
Yes but we had Y
We set them up for Zen
Which is diet nirvana
Imagine if we had
Yards and cream pies
We have
Imagine
Imagine Wait so are we We'd have the world As our oyster Nirvana. Imagine if we had yards and cream pies. Imagine.
We'd have the world as our oyster.
Because you cream pie, you have children
then you have a yard for them to run around in.
That's the dream. So what are we
spinning for? What is our category?
The last one is
you have to pick the letter it goes on.
And it's an experience and you guys
will have a place.
Oh Jesus. And we're both going to pick the letter it goes on. And it's an experience, and you guys will have a place. Oh, Jesus.
And first, we're both going to pick two
letters, and
whoever wins that will get
$100. Is that what you want to do?
Dave, is that what you're saying?
I'm willing to get frisky.
So I'm down $50.
TJ's going to win again.
I'll let somebody else spin the wheel.
You've already programmed the algorithm.
We know how you work.
You guys are up.
All right.
Spin it for us.
Spin the wheel.
I really thought you guys would be better.
We were bad.
I think we had a pretty good draft.
I'm sorry about cream pie.
No, I'm over cream pie.
This is for what do we have to decide?
Feeling.
Okay.
D is feeling.
Imagine if we hadn't C there and we'd be able to do cream pie redemption.
Cream pie redemption.
Feeling.
Drugs.
Drugs.
I wouldn't consider that a feeling
Drunk
Drunk
Let's go
Drunk
Easy
Easy
Delirium
Kyle are you not
Domination
What are you
I like domination
There's a lot
Doing opens up a lot
You can do bad stuff.
That's not a feeling.
Greer?
Yeah, what?
Yeah.
Everyone's had the exact same reaction when they've seen him today.
Like, what are you doing here?
He's like, I paid my own way out.
He comes here every couple of months.
To hang out with Tom.
Yeah, work out of the office.
I think drunk. I think drunk.
I think drunk is going to win.
Yeah, drunk is good.
Steven just did this.
Drunk.
Drunk.
We have to do D.
Oh, what about the feeling?
It has to be D.
It has to be dunk.
Dunking over.
Oh, dunking.
Now that would be cool.
No.
I feel like that's like a, what do you call it?
Diminishing returns.
Like dunking once.
You did it.
The novelty is drunk all the time.
Drunk holds up.
The answer is drunk.
Drunk.
Good answer.
All right, let's go.
Good answer.
Good board.
That's a good board.
It's got a great place.
All right, this place you guys have to pick.
We want a place.
Watch them give us X.
We have all of America.
Let's get an H.
We can go somewhere Inside USA though
No
No
Yeah I can
No you can't do Hawaii
You can't just annex
The whole fucking country
Yeah did you not hear
The conversation where
We almost picked the galaxy
That's out of place Dan
It's a thing
We almost picked the galaxy
And then we realized
There was bad shit
In the galaxy
You should have more integrity
When it comes to geography
Like this
We're gonna get H
What do you
I'm saying you can
You can pick Yellowstone if you want.
I don't think they can.
I don't think so.
They're saying that we're precluded from anything that exists within the United States.
Well, they just spin a wheel for a letter first.
They're saying you guys have everything USA has.
Yeah, that's fair.
Like, you can't say Hawaii.
That's the United States of America.
It doesn't matter.
We're going to get H.
We're going to get heaven.
We're good.
Just get your letter.
Then you have to die to get there, though.
That's all right.
It is? I mean, Heaven's
a place a lot of people... It's where you want to be.
Heaven's a place on Earth.
You'd rather take Hell? This is Heaven right now.
Should we do one for a gamble? Just one for 25 bucks
each? Oh, yeah. Let's do one for 25 bucks
with the fellas. Oh, yeah. It will double
count. It will count.
We won't... Who's that?
Who's that? It's Zacharias.
Oh, it's the guy who wrote revenge of the nerds oh he just
comes in sometimes yeah he just likes to hang out hell yes that's a very cancelable movie by the
way yes oh yeah like if you go back and watch it it's like yeah most of the time you're just
sitting there going how the fuck he wrote that yeah hell yeah didn't they roofie a chick and
then they watched yeah and he like wore the boyfriend's helmet. It's fiction.
It's fiction. It's fiction.
It is nerds.
All right.
So let's do this.
Everyone pick.
It's 25 bucks if you get it.
And then if it's wrong, we just end it.
Like that will be your letter that you have to pick.
Wait.
I don't know.
We're eliminating letters from them.
They should have their pick first and then we get back on our spin.
All right.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Pick first and then we'll do a spin.
We'll finish with a spin.
Look at fair Nick over here.
Yeah.
Why are you on their side?
Sleeper cell Nick, dude.
I don't understand why you keep on giving them good rules for them.
All right, this is for place.
Yep.
You gave us that.
You gave them three of their picks.
I give them titties.
Yeah.
Fucking tacos and titties, baby.
You, you, you, you.
Oh, motherfucker. Go, go, go, you, you, you. Oh, motherfucker.
Go, go, go, go, go, go.
Oh, Ukraine.
Utopia would have been good for them.
Utopia would be good, yeah.
Place.
I'd say place, T.
Toledo.
And it can't be.
No, that's in America.
It can't be in America?
No, so Texas does not count.
Tortuga.
What's that?
That would work.
Dry tortugas.
Tijuana.
No, you don't want to go there. No, you don't want to go there.
No, you don't want to go there.
Good HGH.
Thailand.
Tokyo.
Lady Boys.
Tokyo's good.
What about...
Shut up, brother.
Fall back.
Fall back, bro.
Fall back.
Tiananmen Square.
That's pretty common in history.
Good photo taken
Yeah
Probably go viral on Instagram
Any good Virgin Islands?
With a T?
Can we do St. Thomas?
No
Tasmania
Tanzania
You guys want a safari?
You guys want a safari?
What about a safari tomorrow?
Can it start with the?
The Ukraine?
Like the rest of the world?
That's actually offensive.
That's offensive.
Yeah, it is.
That's offensive.
I will give you guys the Ukraine.
I don't want to go to the Ukraine.
Toronto.
Is that your final answer?
It's Toronto.
Wait a minute.
Are you Googling team places right now?
Yeah.
What?
Toronto.
I think Toronto's decent.
One minute.
Taipei, Taiwan.
I don't like Toronto.
Have you been in Toronto?
I heard it's cool.
It's very nice.
It is.
Toronto's pretty good.
Also, shout out the Scorbet.
Yeah.
I'd rather go to Tanzania than Toronto.
What about the first year of college?
Is that a place?
The first year of college?
No.
That is so wrong on so many levels.
The bar.
Oh, the bar's good.
Tavern.
Tavern.
Tavern.
Tavern.
Tavern.
We're going to a tavern.
Tavern.
Can't be in America, though. Fine. We'll go to an Irish tavern. He's taking tavern. Do you like tavern? I like tavern. Tavern. Tavern. We're going to a tavern. Tavern. Can't be in America, though.
Fine.
We'll go to an Irish tavern.
Who's taking tavern?
Do you like tavern?
I like tavern.
I like tavern.
Yeah, I like tavern a lot.
I like a fucking tavern.
Tavern on Rush?
Yeah.
Tavern.
People watching?
That's not a tavern.
But it can't be on Rush.
I know.
It's not.
It's called Tavern on Rush.
It would have to be like.
Yeah, that can't.
That doesn't count.
Taverns.
They didn't say Tuscany. Use the one that the Irish guy showed us. It would have to be like... Yeah, that doesn't count. Taverns.
They didn't say Tuscany.
Use the one that the Irish guy shows. Tuscany would have been so good.
Tuscany is incredible.
Oh, come on.
Tuscany's great.
We're going to go to a tavern in Tuscany.
We got all the taverns.
Tuscan tavern?
Yeah, give them the lads.
That's the lads.
Give them the muscular boys.
No, not those guys.
Yeah, why not?
No, we want the old school. Do the one with the guy with the small head. There it is, the lads. No, go right. Give him the muscular boys. We'll be with the... No, not those guys. Yeah, why not? No, we want the old school.
Do the one with the guy with the small head.
There it is.
The lads.
Well, that's just our heads.
That's from Hank's profile?
Why is that from Hank?
Why is that from Hen E's videos tweet?
Look at that.
Click on that.
Where is that going to?
Because Hank always posts this video of them singing.
Oh, Turks and Caicos, you said?
Yeah. Oh, Turks and Caicos, you said? Yeah.
Oh, Turks and Caicos would have been incredible.
I think Tokyo would be the best.
Can we do like Turkey circa 1452 before the fall of Constantinople?
We get specific on the timeline?
Yeah, do that.
Turks and Caicos?
No, they're already locked in.
I like Tavern. All right. That's the draft. Let and Caicos. No, they're already locked in. I like Tavern.
We like Tavern.
Tavern.
That's the draft.
Let's see it.
Let's see it in its finale.
I don't know if I'm feeling confident.
I don't know if any of it made sense.
No, none.
But it was strategic.
Are we doing one last?
Yeah, we'll do one last.
I mean, you fucking degenerate.
Dude, I mean, this is.
I only gamble legally and responsibly on the parcel sportsbook app.
This is not gambling.
This is for fun money.
Mm hmm.
This is dude.
This is why I bought
a ping pong machine.
Mm hmm.
For this exact reason.
Steven, pick your letter.
Wait.
So this is double.
We're counting doubles.
If you get it,
if we get it,
it's 25.
Someone gets it's 25.
If not, we spin again.
Yeah.
Wow.
Is the draft officially over?
Yeah, the draft is officially over.
We'll get to the draft.
We're not even going to vote.
What?
Putting all the letters back on the wheel.
Yes.
Every letter back with a vengeance.
Throw a Che on there, too, from the Spanish alphabet.
Ooh.
Che. The. Che.
The Enyi.
Nice place you boys got here.
Great.
Thanks for having us.
Yeah.
This is fun.
I noticed you guys don't have the entire Woods posters on the walls, though.
A lot of Michael Jordan.
Yeah, that's funny.
Did you guys like Jeff D'Lo's script that he gave us for tonight's show?
What?
Oh, you didn't get us.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, never mind.
You guys don't know who won.
Oh, the fix is in?
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, it's no different than Vince McMahon.
He just says, all right, here's what we're going to have to do.
The Yak is going to win.
I think we won our first game against you guys in insane fashion.
I don't think we've ever played.
You never played?
We never played, you guys.
No, for tonight.
Oh, tonight.
They're playing dumb, guys.
Don't worry.
Thanks.
You guys are protecting Jeff.
Who's the second letter?
TJ, did you pick?
What?
What letter are you picking?
I didn't pick either yet.
I'll pick left.
No, no.
Go ahead.
Go ahead, buddy.
Go ahead, buddy.
Yeah, TJ.
A.
All right.
KB.
Q.
M. N. Fuck. Q M
N
Fuck
I'll go B
Just in case TJ's
Fucked up the algorithm
And it's just off
A little bit
G
Someone should take Z
To box TJ in
L
A
A's already
Oh
Good pick though
Great pick
TJ's pick
Yeah
Let's go V.
V's off the board.
Jesus, Eddie.
I'm fucking.
This is a White Sox game. I'm going Z, Z, Z.
Right in front of you.
Okay.
Kyle, you've got to call off your cream pie boys out of my mentions.
They're already in there?
I hope.
I hope the cream pie boys are tearing you all apart.
R.
R.
R.
R, you're going to the mall.
All right.
I mean, Cream pie lovers
Yeah do your thing
It's the fear
That comes with it
That's the one
That is the five seconds
Of time where you have
No fear
It's pure pleasure
But when you say
Cream pie
I think of it
In a porn sense
How else would you
Word that
A cream pie is dickless
It's when the dick is out
And there's
Yeah
Nodding on the cusp Of a pussy Maybe I don't know What watch that. A cream pie is dickless. It's when the dick is out and there's nutting on the cusp of a pussy.
Maybe I don't know what it is.
You pull the dick out and then you pull it out.
No, no, no.
Come in the pussy, but then the cream pie is after the dick is out.
That's the cream pie.
After the dick is out.
Because the cream is coming out.
It's more a feeling for her than for you.
It's a verb and it's a noun.
You can't cream pie, but you create a cream pie.
I'm thinking of the action. Oh, I thought of create it. Well's a verb and it's a noun. You can't cream pie, but you create a cream pie. I'm thinking of
the action. Oh, I thought of creating.
Well, that's either creaming or kind. No, not creating.
You're just saying coming.
Yeah. A cream pie is like
smashing a cream donut. I don't
know what cream pie is then.
I think. You're baking the cream
pie. Okay. Yeah, I guess that makes
sense. Some super horny dude is going to correct us.
It's going to be really creepy, but
we're going to have to be like, you're right, dude.
Yeah. Alright, spin it.
So you confuse
creaming and pying with cream pie.
Cream pie. A verb that describes it.
I was creaming her. How'd you
like the cream pie? Or I pied you.
Or I'm pying you.
I'm like right now.
Yeah, so I'm like right.
That's what I'm like. You guys, yeah. I'm like right now. Not out of the vagina. Yeah, so I'm like, yeah. Kyle's right.
Yeah.
Coming inside.
You guys, yeah.
All right.
All right.
You're right.
I apologize.
You got to fill up the cream pie.
Nick, I think that you still don't like that.
It's something that's still off-putting to you.
It's scary.
Yeah.
There's measures for that in the year 2022.
True.
I don't want to go through that. Vasectomy? Yeah. I's measures for that in the year 2022. True. I don't want to go through that.
Vasectomy?
All right, spin it.
Spin it.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Come on, R.
Not even close.
Did we just double?
Double.
Double.
50 bucks, everybody.
Do we stick with the letters?
Absolutely not.
Oh, no. Definitely not. Those letters betrayed us. All right, everybody. Do we stick with the letters? Absolutely not. Oh, no.
Definitely not.
Those letters betrayed us.
All right, take off T, and now it's 50 bucks.
Okay.
We'll start with Carl.
Yeah, Carl, you start.
Actually, no, start with TJ, and then we'll go to Carl.
I want TJ to get his out of the way.
Yeah.
What?
B.
You just took B. I did. Yeah. What? B. You just took B.
I did.
P.
P.
G.
G.
Fuck.
I'm going to go with C.
C.
H.
H.
E.
Am I allowed to pick?
Take it.
Take it. Take it.
Do it.
E.
E.
Wait, pull the wheel back up.
The alphabet?
What did you take, Big Hit?
I just took E because Roan took it.
Does anyone have H?
And the odds are that, yes, Chief's got H.
Who has F?
No one has F.
I have F.
I'll take I.
Oh, no.
K.
I took it before.
J.
Okay.
Steven.
Hold on.
Are you taking K or J?
J.
We're boxed in.
W.
W.
All right.
Here we go.
50 bucks each.
I. Show me I.
Way to go.
Cream pie justice.
Cream pie justice.
Cream pie justice.
Good job, Kyle.
Kyle, it's 50 bucks each.
50.
Kyle, you want to give a speech or something?
No, no.
Cash preferable.
Thank you.
No can do, boss.
Let me get 10 back, bro.
60, 50.
I owe you 10.
Yeah, let me get 10 back.
Can you make change with TJ?
Dave, you want to go again, don't you?
We came and it just cost everyone 100 bucks.
That's how the show goes.
It's nice. Congratulations to you guys. $100. That's how the show goes. It's nice.
Congratulations to you guys.
All right.
That's how it works.
How do we know who wins the draft?
We won't.
We're not even going to vote.
No, we're not going to do anything with it.
Yeah.
That's what we do.
So this just goes on.
Yeah, no, no.
I want people to try to act like they can judge who won, but not let them.
Yeah, you should actually tweet it from the yak and just sound off in the comments.
Oh, yeah, vote in the comments.
We'll tally them up.
Vote in the comments.
I actually do want to know who people think won.
We lost.
We have yard.
I don't know, dude.
Yard?
Yard?
Yard?
We had every single thing in the world as an option, and we picked yard.
We ended up with yard.
Yes, man.
I think yard is like a sign of success.
Oh.
Yards are good.
All right.
We'll see everyone tomorrow.
We would have done that.
If it would have been permissible, we would have just taken garages, though.
Could have.
Could have.
Didn't get to that point.
All right.
See everyone tomorrow.
Thanks for tuning in.
We'll see you tomorrow.
See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. See All right, see everyone tomorrow. Thanks for tuning in. We'll see you next time. It's time to talk shop.