The Yak - The Yak Smoothie Draft

Episode Date: July 19, 2021

Enjoy as we describe the look of the smoothies in great detail.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more..., visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the act It's the act Yeah, it's time to stock shop We're doing Yankees, obviously, yeah Alright, it's time You're probably wondering why KB's late You're probably wondering why I'm the swaggiest What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:00:38 Why I'm the swaggiest boy in the world right now Yes, what is that? Who are you wearing? Oh, it's Paul's beachwear Are you serious? What the fuck wearing? Oh, it's Paul's beach wear. Are you serious? What the fuck? God damn, that looks good. I thought it was just shirts.
Starting point is 00:00:50 Guess I didn't get any. Yeah. I paid for mine. Really? No. Of course not. Bro, this face? Don't pay for shit.
Starting point is 00:01:01 Look how thin it makes you look. Ah, no, that's actually because I have decided to try anorexia. Is it working? It has been working for a few days. Eating disorders. It's this fad diet where you just don't eat. How do people fail at that? What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:01:17 They die. They die. No, I think that they also eat. Yeah. But they also just die. Just keep stopping. I think your whole organs disintegrate. Keep stopping? Your whole organs. Your whole organs. God wants us to eat. That's why food tastes good.
Starting point is 00:01:34 Sash, you got a shout out last night? I did. From Tim Dillon who doesn't follow you on Instagram? Stanko! Stanko! Stanko! He goes pants off! He goes pants off! No, no, no. fucker. Show us your butt. Show us your butt.
Starting point is 00:01:47 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Stanko. Oh, my God. He's so much better than Colby ever was. Okay. Can we kick Colby out of the group chat? Yeah, for Stanko, for Stanko, for Stanko. It's smoothie day.
Starting point is 00:02:01 Yeah. I have a confession to make. So I had a little thing this morning. Not a thing. It was just my son's nanny called in sick, so I was running around all morning parenting. All of my ingredients are from my kitchen. Fair. I think you could have even gotten away with that.
Starting point is 00:02:20 I don't even think that. I just wanted to come clean. I didn't want anyone to be like, dude, you didn't even try. Which kitchen? Because you have two, right? Yeah, three. Well, it's one of those, you know, you get the kitchen upstairs. You walk to the kitchen.
Starting point is 00:02:32 Yeah, yeah. Into the guest house. You're not even counting the guest house. The elevator just for food. Yeah. Fucking dumb waiter. Do you have a vending machine in your apartment? Four.
Starting point is 00:02:42 Four vending machines. Four. Dion... One's for champagne. Oh, yeah. Dion does have a vending machine at his apartment? Four. Four vending machines. Four. Dion. One's for champagne. Oh, yeah. Dion does have a vending machine at his house. Yeah. But he's, yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:50 I don't know why. Does he have to pay? He has to insert money every time. Yeah, and someone else gets it. Grab the snacks. No. Yeah, it's something I would rather not do. I argue that having a vending machine is a poor move.
Starting point is 00:03:01 It's like you're forcing yourself to ration. True. Is Dion broke? Yes, he is. Fuck. All It's like you're forcing yourself to ration. True. Is Dion broke? Yes, he is. Fuck. All right, boys, I already see an error. It's not fruit exclusive, right? No, it's fruit or vegetables.
Starting point is 00:03:12 Or vegetables. Oh, okay. So I wish I knew that. Why? Well, if you listened. I read the text when I was at the store. It says fruit. Or vegetables.
Starting point is 00:03:22 Or vegetables on the text. So you're fucked. It's on the text. It says or vegetables. Does it? Oh. Should we just go ahead and reveal our fruits or vegetables now? It says one fruit.
Starting point is 00:03:32 Should we make this official? Yeah, let's do the creed. And let's also give a tip of the hat to Owen for hustling all over the city. I spent $400 this morning on ice alone. Oh, no. We have a lot of ice. Ice is the curse. There was a miscommunication there.
Starting point is 00:03:47 We have too much ice. So Stephen texted me individually and said, make sure to get seven pounds of ice. And then I grabbed a couple interns and we got seven bags, but they're seven pounds each. So we got 49 pounds of ice. 49 pounds of ice. That's like sashing bench press, I think.
Starting point is 00:04:02 49 pounds of ice. Not even close. Let's try, though. Who needs ice the most? Go pour a bag out in the hallway From a charitable stand I would say right now dogs Dogs laying on ice Dogs that are very hot outside Go dump a bag of ice on a dog
Starting point is 00:04:18 They'll love that That would be good Shall we creed? I'm just like a sleeping homeless man Alright here we go That would be good. Shall we creed? I'm just like a sleeping homeless man. Yeah, we should creed. Let's take this creed. It's real hot out today. All right, here we go. Three, two, one.
Starting point is 00:04:30 The Smoothie Man's Creed. Today is a day unlike any other. I will create a drink that competes with my brothers. A choice of ingredients I will take and combine them all into one perfect shake. A shake of apples or ice cream or
Starting point is 00:04:54 even some mint. A drink that may hurt us like if we were in Flint. And as the day has come to an end, I will look back and smile when I look thick of this blend. Thanks to the smoothie man whom we pay our respects, we look to him, arms crossed, as we say, 10x. 10x.
Starting point is 00:05:15 10x to the smoothie man. Did you write that, Nick? Yeah. That was good. That was foretold. I copied it from online. Somebody else had it written. 10x. It was like a template. They just coincidentally had 10x at the end.
Starting point is 00:05:29 I just googled Smoothieman's Creed. The stealing part cracks me up, bro. So how do we start? I think we should draft who has to set up the blender. Oh, all right. That's good. That's good. That's good.
Starting point is 00:05:44 Not it? Not it. Sass, are you going to? I'm not. I, alright. That's good. That's good. That's good. Not it? Not it. Sass, are you gonna... I'm not. I can't. Now it's KB. That was the fairest way to do it. We'll do a three hour show if we have to. That was the fairest way to do it. It was. Alright, where... Is it in that
Starting point is 00:05:59 box? Right there. What about we get a tech guy? What about Stanko? I'm pretty sure a blender you just take it out and plug it in. So is this a five round draft? Yeah. Imagine if it's just in a hundred pieces. But you also take what position you want to blend? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:16 Should we do that now? I was going to get multiples, but I couldn't. Multiple blenders? Yeah. I mean, you maxed out your credit card. The blenders were shockingly expensive. Do we have cups, or do you have to drink everything in the blender before the next person? Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:06:32 No, no, no. We definitely have cups. Cups, cups, cups. We need to rinse. All right, so what are we agreeing? Everyone has to take at least two good sips of their... Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:41 Two good sips. Oh, that's a hat with numbers. Nice. All right, so perfect. Okay, so how many ingredients. Oh, that's a hat with numbers. Nice. That's... All right, so perfect. Okay, so how many ingredients do we need? Because I got a lot of shit. Six.
Starting point is 00:06:51 So we need six? My ingredients smell bad. No, no, no. Six of us, four ingredients total. And then there's also a grab bag. Yeah. And anyone can swap it at the end. I think you can blindly...
Starting point is 00:07:01 We all have one random ingredient. So I think if you have something you don't like, you can pick what person's random ingredient you can want. That was just the first two rounds? I'm with you. After we draft, you can look at your
Starting point is 00:07:17 final combination and choose to swap. Who's got extra shit is my question. I also have extra shit. We were supposed to. Other than the alternative bag. I also have extra shit. We were supposed to all have extra shit. No, but we're all... Other than the mystery ingredients. Two mystery ingredients and some extra shit. No, I don't have an extra bag.
Starting point is 00:07:31 I'm talking about extra shit outside of the mystery ingredients. This is the mystery bag that you can swap for at the end. Can I put some stuff in that mystery bag? Yeah, add it right now. Do you have extra stuff? Yes, I have extra shit. So wait, this is a six-round draft. No, it's a four-round draft.
Starting point is 00:07:46 The swaps are just extra. It's a four-round draft. All right, so we need a fruit or vegetable, a liquid, and then one other ingredient. Can I put some stuff in the mystery bag? Yeah. Because I'm trying to figure out how much stuff I have. You need a fruit or vegetable, a liquid, and then two grab bags. Two random items.
Starting point is 00:08:02 Oh, fuck, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. Because I don't want anyone to know what's what. So just keep that. So this is mystery shit. That's mystery shit. You'll keep your mystery shit. I'll keep my mystery shit.
Starting point is 00:08:11 All right. This is all mystery. It's a silly string. I think actually now that I'm saying it, I think we should do a fifth round where it's just you pick out of the mystery and that's just out of your smoothie. It's a smoothie. It's a smoothie. It's a smoothie.
Starting point is 00:08:23 It's going to taste good no matter what. Right. Exactly. All smoothies taste good. We have 49 pounds of ice. Yeah. It's a smoothie. It's a smoothie. It's a smoothie. It's going to taste good no matter what. Right, exactly. All smoothies taste good. We have 49 pounds of ice. Yeah. 49 pounds of ice. It's going to mostly be ice.
Starting point is 00:08:30 We're just going to have ice. So Zah is doing numbers right now. I think this should be the number to where we pick to see where we want to blend. Yes. And then I think the next delivery man that comes in picks our draft order. Okay. There's not a lot of people here. And so what's the strategy behind the order in which we blend?
Starting point is 00:08:50 We want to blend first, obviously. You want to be sucked first. You don't clean the blender between the two. What? Yeah. You don't? No. No, you never do.
Starting point is 00:09:00 No, you never do. You never do. It's like a cast iron. Oh, yeah. She is humming. That scared me. That's like a cast iron. Oh, yeah. She is humming. That scared me. That's a powerful blender. We'll have to take this home after.
Starting point is 00:09:10 It's like a jet ski. We'll still expense it. It's a Vitamix. What? Wait, can we get the blender up on the thing? Yeah, let the people see it. Here, use that. They deserve to see it.
Starting point is 00:09:20 There's another cord right there. Owen, Owen. Oh, we're doubling up. Yeah, there's another power search. Double up power strips. Grab that power strip. Plug it into this power strip. Yep.
Starting point is 00:09:30 Can you go power strip to power strip? Oh, you could go to the moon and back. Why? What are you talking about? What are you, an electrician? Why? It's all power strips. Yeah, I'm...
Starting point is 00:09:39 There we go. Power strip to power strip. You can't plug that outlet into that outlet. The whole building went black. Dude. He flipped it. I'm going to be on a case of beer to save us. All right. We're good to go.
Starting point is 00:09:57 Sound like a NASCAR pit crew. Okay. So should we put a computer off there anyway, because we're going to need it. All right. So let's pick the order to which we will blend and then we'll figure out. Out of a hat. And then we'll reveal our things. Who's picking first out of the hat?
Starting point is 00:10:17 Owen's picking first out of the hat. Owen's picking first out of the hat. Unless he gets one. Fuck you. No, Owen's picking last out of the hat. Yeah, he said unless he gets one. You said unless he gets one. Owen deserves first. Yeah, he does. Fuck you. No, Owen's picking last out of the hat. Yeah, he said unless he gets one. You said unless he gets one. Owen deserves first.
Starting point is 00:10:28 Yeah, he does. He does. Actually, I'm going to give it to Roan. I just said you deserve it, and you gave it to Roan? Thank you, brother. Appreciate you. I'll be hanging on to this. All right, so Owen, pick again.
Starting point is 00:10:37 Yeah, Owen, pick again. And then it's Nick. And then just give it to whoever you want to give it to. Let's just have Owen give it to people. Give it to Kyle. Yeah. Oh. Oh, no. Give it to Kyle. Yeah. Oh, no. A little mouthy over there, Nick.
Starting point is 00:10:50 Yeah. Wow. Six. Six. Six of those. A little mouthy over there, Sass. That's so stupid. That's stupid.
Starting point is 00:11:03 And Sass is out. Sass is going to the store. I got three. I got three. I got three. I got three. I got three. I got three.
Starting point is 00:11:07 I got three. I got three. Okay. Of course, Big Cat gets three. Three. You got four. I feel like I'm a permanent- Let's go.
Starting point is 00:11:16 If anyone has to pick something- You get three. To put me right in the middle because they don't want to be on my bad side, but also don't want to be sucking up. Yeah, right. Go, you're just giving it to one to him bad side but also don't want to be on your good side. Sucking up. Yeah, right. You're just giving it to one to him. He's instead
Starting point is 00:11:28 sucking Roan's dick. Yes. Yeah. Which is unsucked. This is actually, I don't know, I think Roan knows this but this is actually
Starting point is 00:11:36 the first event. It's the opening ceremonies of his wedding. Yeah. It's like the Ethiopian wedding. It's a week long. This is the first event. Yes, exactly.
Starting point is 00:11:45 Thank you, boys. This is so dumb.. Yes, exactly. Thank you, boys. This is so dumb. So I'm going to get everything. Are you saying my wedding's dumb now? Oh, dude. No. No, you'll probably only just get the thing right before you. You pour it out.
Starting point is 00:11:55 You don't have to have the liquid that's in there. You just can't clean it out. Right. So chances are you'll probably just have the thing before you. These rankings are how I feel about you guys. Okay. Of course. You like Rowan more than yourself?
Starting point is 00:12:10 I'm five. Oh. Wait, what? Kyle. Wait, you gave... How is Kyle dominating you so bad today? So bad. So bad?
Starting point is 00:12:18 So bad. I'm three, but what... No, I'll eat it. We'll never know what number that was. What number could that be? No, I'll eat it. We'll never know what number that was. What number could that be? No, I'm two. He was supposed to set up the blender, then you ended up doing it. You gave him five.
Starting point is 00:12:33 That's fine. We'll just fuck over Roan really badly. So Kyle gets it, too. All right, so should we unveil our items? Should we start? Let's start liquid. Liquid, okay. And we'll go Sass.
Starting point is 00:12:46 We'll go counter. This is just the unveiling. This is the unveiling. And we'll present them to the cube. Wow. We'll all stand to the cube. Sass, let's go.
Starting point is 00:12:54 Sassy. Sassy. Is a Ultra Paradise Monster Energy Drink. Nice. We are sponsored by a different, much better energy drink.
Starting point is 00:13:04 That's good though. Why don't you put that front and center. Too sunny delights. Not bad. Too sunny delights. That looks like a first round pick.
Starting point is 00:13:18 I'm not fucking anybody over. That's an endangered taste. I know. You can't find these shit. One death wish coffee.
Starting point is 00:13:25 What store did you go to? That would ruin my day if I got that. Delicious, delicious. Good to know. Good to know. These are the same things. No, coffee is significantly different. Than Monster Energy.
Starting point is 00:13:36 He is right. He's right. Yeah. Coffee gives me the shakes so bad. Completely different base. Completely different set of ingredients. Okay. Boys.
Starting point is 00:13:46 Club soda. Oh. Okay. Boys. Club soda. Oh. Ew. Ew. Ew. What the fuck? Ew. You're fucking twisted.
Starting point is 00:13:51 Shit. We got two of them. Oh, wait a minute. I have a backup. Okay. That's fine. No, this is mine. This is just for me to drink.
Starting point is 00:13:56 Oh, okay. No side sodas. That's a palate cleanse. Don't have sides. Oh, Jesus Christ. Maple whiskey sour.'t have sides. Sides. Maple whiskey sour. Yes, sir. That looks good.
Starting point is 00:14:11 It's not alcoholic. It's just the mixer. I didn't want anyone to be bummed out, so I got three different options. You have to mix them all together. Yeah. Either all three or one. A splash of all three. Yeah. You have to do a splash of all three.
Starting point is 00:14:23 All right. Chocolate, vanilla, and banana strawberry. That's a weird order. I've never heard of that. All right, so now we're going fruits. Should we display these? Yeah, let's display these. Crab bags.
Starting point is 00:14:34 Fruits slash veggies. Crab bags. It's a good looking spread so far But here's where things get fucky Okay there are our drinks We're about to fuck it up Go ahead fuck it up He can kind of see my balls Yes that's the ball chair
Starting point is 00:14:59 That's the beauty of it You can see every outline That's why Brandon Walker's been on paid maternity leave. His balls were seen. Can I pour a bag of ice on the lobby floor? Yeah. No. Erica's here today.
Starting point is 00:15:16 Jesus Christ. I'll get to it. He would not go for that. He money? He would not go for that. All right. Fruits or vegetables? Sauce. Sauce. L or vegetables? Sass.
Starting point is 00:15:26 Sass. E. Sauce. Went classy. Some raspberries. Raspberry. I called little Sasquatch little ass crotch today
Starting point is 00:15:34 walking in. He did. So far, these are not bad smoothies. Mm-mm. That coffee is scaring me. I think this is a... Mango?
Starting point is 00:15:44 It looks like a mango. And a little pre-sliced if we don't want to cut it up. I think this is a mango. It looks like a mango. And a little pre-sliced if we don't want to cut it up. Oh, nice. A nice mango. That's like when they put the chicken in the oven on the infomercial and they pull out the... Yeah, exactly. It's just out right away. Very good.
Starting point is 00:15:55 I wanted to jump cut to the chase. This is another nice item. All right. I have a single kind of spoiled banana. Not all the way spoiled. That's the best kind for a smoothie. Really? Yes.
Starting point is 00:16:06 Oh, that is the smoothie artist. That banana's old and told, my friend. I got some dried banana. Freeze dried banana. All right, so these are just turning out like normal smoothies so far. We're just making sick smoothies. Peas. Oh, peas.
Starting point is 00:16:21 All right. Fuck peas. Interestingly, I was able to afford three times as many bananas. Goddamn. A lot of banana. Now this is where I think it will get interesting. The grab bags?
Starting point is 00:16:36 The grab bags. Are we revealing the grab bags? I have one mystery. There's two grab bags. There's an assortment of grab bags. So we have two. So do one at a time. Grab bags.
Starting point is 00:16:47 Do one at a time. One at a time. It'll be more suspenseful. Wait, but I have three more things in here. Okay. Just pull out your first two that you want to showcase. I'm going to keep one of them and not throw it in the trash. Okay, that's fine.
Starting point is 00:16:56 You're the worst. Just take out one of your items. Just take out an item. Now. Okay. Just take one out now. This one could be saving some people. It's going to get interesting.
Starting point is 00:17:06 Put the grab bags, by the way, on the floor so we keep them separate. So I'm taking out my thing right now. Jesus Christ. Just one. I just don't want to fuck it up. You are. How could you fuck it up? Okay, anti-diarrhea pills.
Starting point is 00:17:17 Oh, yeah. That'll be good. That's actually good. Oh, yeah. Is this going over there? Yeah, put it on the ground. On the ground. That's our grab bag.
Starting point is 00:17:25 For my next item, I got ticker tape. Oh, yeah. Nice ticker tape. They didn't have exactly ticker tape, so this is more arcade confetti. But for the purposes of the draft, it's ticker tape. That will taste good.
Starting point is 00:17:42 It's just a sprinkling of ticker tape. Not too much ticker tape. That'll temper good. That will taste good. It's just a sprinkling of ticker tape. Not too much ticker tape, but just... That'll temper the dominant tastes. Yeah, exactly. I've got a little boy's lollipop. It is. A little boy's lollipop. That is a little, little boy.
Starting point is 00:17:55 That's for a little, little boy. And it's a sweet, sweet lollipop. And they're fucking bonnet licking that. I'm just abandon. We should keep one item random, and you have to draft one person's random item. No, Rowan, we gotta put it, because that's the grab bag. Gotta go separate.
Starting point is 00:18:10 Uh, wait, will we get confused? Oh, yeah, you're right, because we have the fruits and vegetables, yeah, alright. That was falsely directed, I apologize for that. Way to go, sass. Everyone's coming to put it on the ground. Cornbread. Yeah! Alright, alright. And that looks like a healthy loaf. Uh-huh. Are there gonna be any bad items? There will be. Sau. All right. All right. And that looks like a healthy loaf. Uh-huh. Are there going to be any bad items?
Starting point is 00:18:27 There will be. Sauerkraut. Every time I ask that. Jalapeno. I guess ticker tape could be considered bad. Ticker tape could be, yeah. I got diarrhea pills. Olives.
Starting point is 00:18:40 Okay, let's get back. All right, boys. Sass. Someone's going to gag. Oreos. Someone's going to gag. Oreos. That's delicious. Nice. That is delicious.
Starting point is 00:18:52 Never mind. Okay. I have half of yesterday's chicken cutlet sandwich. Yeah. So and so. Okay. Delicious. And blended,'s chicken cutlet. Okay. Delicious. And blended, that'll be better.
Starting point is 00:19:07 My next item, people are going to say, hey, dude, that's two items. But as you can clearly see, it's in a single bag. It is two loose hot dogs and two pickles. You got to drop the whole thing together. You got to blend the bag. I don't know if it was clear that I just grabbed everything into my refrigerator. Are those cooked or no? Have they experienced heat?
Starting point is 00:19:31 They have not experienced any heat. They've never seen a flame in their life. They were born in the cold. I brought a liquid for my grab bag. This is whole goat's milk. Okay, so that's a grab bag item. That is unpasteurized straight is whole goat's milk. Okay, so that's a grab bag item. That's a grab bag goat's milk. That is unpasteurized
Starting point is 00:19:47 straight from a goat's teat to your mouth or mine. Or yours. Or mine. Birthday cake. All right. Welcome back to Earth. That with the confetti would be great.
Starting point is 00:20:01 There's some great combinations available. Three packets of hot chocolate powder. Okay. That might be aetti would be great. There's some great combinations available. And some bad ones. Three packets of hot chocolate powder. Okay. All right. That'll mask taste. That might be a good one, yeah. I'm hoping to get it. That might be a sneaky good pick.
Starting point is 00:20:16 All right, so now... So now we have to find out how we're going to get the order of the actual draft. Because we were going to have just the next delivery guy that came in, but there's been no deliveries. There was one. He came and went, as any good delivery man does. Should we get Frankie to do it? So that was a no?
Starting point is 00:20:38 No. Go grab somebody upstairs that you've never talked to, Owen. No. All right. Maybe the hardest thing. Upstairs that you've never talked to, Owen. No. All right. Sass can do it. Do the hardest thing. Okay. Maybe Stephen, can you come up with a radio?
Starting point is 00:20:50 No. Not Che. Anything but Che. Yep, give me a minute. What did we do last time? Didn't we do the ages, or is that for something else? That was ages, yeah. Oh, we could do that again, Stephen.
Starting point is 00:21:03 What if we all guess it? He gave us triple in sync. He gave us all in sync. Yeah. All right, ages yeah we could do that again Steven what if we all guess it he gave us triple in sync let's do that again what if we all guess the time and whoever's closest to Dana's chug time
Starting point is 00:21:12 is Dana here today I would assume so it's a work day wow we know how this office can get this office we know how this office
Starting point is 00:21:20 can get on a flight okay yeah we'll do we'll make him chug one of the milks cause he's gonna be like oh I don't chug anymore. I'm a pussy. All right, good.
Starting point is 00:21:28 All right, yeah, it's a good call. All right, I have a number. Wait, is Dana not here? No. Ah, fuck. Playboy Marty. Playboy Marty. Yep.
Starting point is 00:21:38 Let's have him chug it for you. Yep. All right, Playboy Marty, you are going to chug. Why? I have a weird laugh. I have a weird laugh. You admit that. I'm the weirdest. All right, Playboy Marty, you were going to chug. Why? I have a weird laugh. I have a weird laugh. You admit that. I'm the weirdest.
Starting point is 00:21:49 All right. What yawn was that sound from? Are you lactose intolerant? No, I'm not. Okay, all right. I should have said yes, I guess. Yeah, you should have said yes. Are you okay with chugging a 14-ounce, is that 14-ounce, 12-ounce Yoo-Hoo?
Starting point is 00:22:03 Nesquik. Nesquik. I'd prefer not to, personally. But that wasn't the question. Wait, do I get to pick the flavor? Yeah, you get to pick the flavor. Chocolate, banana, strawberry, vanilla. Do I get anything out of it, personally, at all?
Starting point is 00:22:14 You get a free milk. Satisfaction. Calcium? Those are good. Yeah, protein. Just got lunch, so I'm going to have to pass on this one. Satisfaction. Wow, that's a cute.
Starting point is 00:22:22 All right, your career will ever end. X marks the spot. This is your blacklist. What about eating those donuts? Will you eat donuts? I'll eat a couple donuts. All right, so bring me the donut box. Let's see how many donuts are in there.
Starting point is 00:22:34 I want the donuts. I would like a donut as well. Can we just all eat donuts? That sounds pretty good. I wasn't aware. Savor them, maybe. How many are in there? Oh, it looks light.
Starting point is 00:22:42 He's carrying it light. It's half a donut left. It's just three. Three donuts? Okay, that's actually perfect. Let me it light. It's half a donut left. It's just three. Three donuts? Okay, that's actually perfect. Let me see them. Let me see them. All right, so how long will you eat all three?
Starting point is 00:22:51 Yes. Yeah. Okay. You can go back to chugging the milk now. Yeah, you can choose. Chugging the milk or eating all three? It's such a small thing of milk. All right, there we go.
Starting point is 00:23:02 You fucking, come on, man. I'll have a donut. Yeah, hand me that sprinkle. Yeah, want to split me one? Somebody split a sprinkle with you. Want to split them in half? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, there we go. You fucking, come on, man. I'll have a donut. Yeah, hand me that sprinkle. Yeah, want to split me one? Somebody split him in half? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, don't chug it yet. Huh?
Starting point is 00:23:11 I have a timer. No, I don't. My phone's dead. Yeah, yeah, that seems fun. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Split it with me. Don't we all have to guess? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:19 He's not going to chug it yet. Not chugging. Oh, yeah, if you just chugged it. Yeah. You just have to do another. You're just like, what the fuck? You would have would have to do another all right so everyone's going to guess a time that it's going to take what the fuck i feel like there's gonna be a lot of similarities in times choosing yeah but
Starting point is 00:23:42 there'll be one exact time down to the tenth of of a second. Everyone want to write it down? Do we have a pen? Everyone can write it down. Rowan, will you grab me a donut? We're getting sidetracked by the donuts, guys. Stop eating the donuts. This is about the draft. This is about the smoothies.
Starting point is 00:23:54 Quit it with the donuts. All right. Hold on. Where's Jesus Christ Owen? Do you have a pen, Owen? Always. Do you guys want to just say it? Yeah, fine. No, because he's saying everyone will? Always. Do you guys want to just say it?
Starting point is 00:24:07 He's saying everyone will copy each other. Why doesn't everybody just write it down on their phone and then expose their phone? Like on their calculator or whatever. Yeah. Everybody has to use their calculator. No, that's not going to work. Everyone just say it. Sash, your first guess. I'm going to go 6.1 seconds.
Starting point is 00:24:23 Okay. What? Bro! What? 6.1 seconds. Okay. What? Bro. What? 4.2 seconds. To chug that whole thing. Hold on. Hold on. Shh.
Starting point is 00:24:33 Let me look. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. You took your hand off the chest. It's not too late. It's not too late. You can't change it.
Starting point is 00:24:39 Yes, it is. No, it's not too late. You can't change it. Fine. 4.2. Fuck. You better fucking house that, Marty. I'm going to try.
Starting point is 00:24:47 I'm going to try. What did you say, Zaz? 6-1. Don't worry about it. I think he said 6-1. 7-2. No. That was my guess.
Starting point is 00:25:00 I think he gets nervous and just drops it on the ground. And then he's got to lick it up. Yeah, he's got to lick it up. Yeah, he's got to lap it up. It would take a while. I'm going to say. Are you writing these down, Steven? Someone? 11.3 seconds.
Starting point is 00:25:13 Yeah. Sorry, Big Cat, what was yours? 7.2. Wow. Bold. 7.3. You fuck. You fuck you.
Starting point is 00:25:23 7.4. Just remember that. God damn it. Oh, fuck. God, I didn't think about that. You fucking idiot. 7.4. Just remember that in the draft. God damn it. Oh, fuck. God, I didn't think about that. You fucking idiot. So what was everybody doing?
Starting point is 00:25:29 Now I'm so idiot. Now I have to get out. He has to get 7.3. I had 6.1. Wait, wait, wait. Don't try to get Marty. I had 4.2. He had 7.5.
Starting point is 00:25:39 I had 7.5. Wait, hold on. Marty doesn't have headphones on. Tell him to signal to Za when he's ready. Za has an official stopwatch on his phone. It's the minute his lips touch. Yeah, you can open it up, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:51 That doesn't count. It's Zah. Start the stopwatch the minute his lips touch. You guys can see. Everyone will be able to see the time. And you've got to pour it upside down so there's no drop. Oh, wow. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:59 Nice. We're good. Wait, no, but we want to watch him. Are the people seeing him? Yeah, the people should see him. All right, I'll keep that. If you give us like two seconds. Our tech.
Starting point is 00:26:09 That would have been classic. Just us. I thought that was the coolest tech movie ever. That would have been so awesome. For six seconds, like, wow, that was incredible. Marty, that was the coolest thing. All right. Hold on.
Starting point is 00:26:21 We're trying to put both your screen. That would be too advanced. Why don't you just hold up the clock next to his face? Now, is this for who gets first pick? Yes, the party will have to chug six milks. Who gets to pick what they want first? And then are we doing everyone else's pick? Four picks, yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:39 The closest four picks. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Fuck you guys. No, fuck Kyle. He has to get it on the dot. Or if it's over, he'll be second closest, though.
Starting point is 00:26:51 So it's not that. I didn't even, yeah. Shit. You will not win. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Dude, imagine.
Starting point is 00:26:59 Imagine. If Kyle wins, we have to put every item on this table into the smoothies, and we all have to drink an entire cup while Kyle laughs at us. And the whole show is over. 7.2 on the dots. 7.3. Don't do that. 7.3 on the dot.
Starting point is 00:27:15 I'm definitely okay in not doing that. Well, that's... I got to go to the store. Sass, has there ever been one time in your life where guys are like, hey, let's do this, and you're like, that sounds cool? Has anybody ever called you go with the flow? Definitely not. Easygoing sass?
Starting point is 00:27:30 I'm not an easygoing guy. I don't know about that, guys. Fuck, I'm crashing from these donuts. I can't wait for it to not be in the seven-second range. Bitch. Yeah. Is there a holdup here, or could I, like... Oh! Bitch. Yeah. Is there a holdup here?
Starting point is 00:27:46 Could I, like... Oh, Marty. Sorry, pal. Marty's got to get back to work. What are you doing that's so important? You just said you had lunch and you were about to crush some donuts. Yeah, you're right. I was about to eat lunch, but yeah. Are you going to Phoenix for tomorrow night?
Starting point is 00:28:02 No, if we had won game four, I probably would have made the one-day trip. Got it. No. Got it. Why don't we just zoom in on Marty's face, and I'll do a timer next to his head. Yeah, that could work. We're going to do a timer reveal once you finish. I don't know if I can.
Starting point is 00:28:15 Marty, signal to Zah when you're about to start. Signal to Zah when you're about to start. I'm going to also keep a timer. No, Seth, stop. You're so annoying. That's true. On days like today, you should give yourself a pep talk
Starting point is 00:28:31 like try not to be that guy. That was going to so clearly be just an argument for the rest of the day about your time versus Zod's time. I just don't know if I trust Roan's greasy ass fingers. Zod's got the official. Roan's just there to do it.
Starting point is 00:28:50 Zod's official time is right there. You can look around. Turn around. I'm going to do this. Wait, what is the signal? The minute he touches his lips, Zod's starting. Okay. Oh my god! Oh! Okay. Oh, my God. Oh.
Starting point is 00:29:09 7.46. Oh, my God. You were so close. So I win. So you won. KB's second. I'm third. I had 11 seconds. No, he had 11. That would have been. I'm second. KB's second. I'm third. No, Nick's last. I had 11 seconds.
Starting point is 00:29:25 No, he had 11. Yeah. All right. That would have been. Oh, man. Oh, my God. And he probably. Marty, thank you.
Starting point is 00:29:30 Another man's clock. Why was it so good? Fuck you. We're about to eat confetti. Thank you, Marty. Playoff, Marty. This vanilla milk is disgusting. All right.
Starting point is 00:29:43 Official order. Owen first. KB2, Big Cat three, Lil Sass four, Roan five, and Nick six. And this is a snake draft, so this is deciding the order of our snake draft. That is right. So do you want the first pick, Big Cat? Come on.
Starting point is 00:30:02 Snake draft is fucking, it's worse. No, I don't want the snake draft, I don't want to say that. Shut the fuck up, dude. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Pick your pick. What's your pick? Oh, I get first pick?
Starting point is 00:30:17 Yeah. Of what pick you get? Oh, third. Interesting. Quite. Very good. No swag? It's quiet. Interesting. Quite. Very good. No swag? Quite.
Starting point is 00:30:28 First. So you have last pick also. Wow. Yeah, you have last pick. Wow. Technically do. So you're fucked. First.
Starting point is 00:30:36 You have last pick also. What's back? Oh, fuck. I don't want the sour. Ever heard of a sneak? But after the last pick, we go to a random item as well, right? Wait, so it goes once? Yeah, so that will be added to it.
Starting point is 00:30:50 Yeah, I'm going to go with... Can I change? No, no, no. Take your finger off the chess piece. Can't change. Nah. I don't even know why I'm putting my fingers on her nose. All right. I'm putting my fingers on my nose. All right.
Starting point is 00:31:07 I'm up. I'm going to go with the fifth pick. Jesus Christ. Yikes. Sloppy. Yikes. Yeah, you're having sauerkraut. Fifth pick.
Starting point is 00:31:25 We should get Cullets. Sass, you're next sauerkraut. Fifth pick. We should get Cullets. Sash, you're next. Oh, okay. What's left? So one, five. No, I'm saying what's taken. One, five. All even numbers are available.
Starting point is 00:31:36 All even numbers are available. Do you know what an even number is, bro? A little four. Oh! That was a mistake. I love this. Every pick we take. That was stupid.
Starting point is 00:31:49 And the thing is, we're just going to yet. None of this matters. Ever. I'm going to go two. So that gives me. Oh! Are you sure about that? Six.
Starting point is 00:31:58 You have six. I have the six pick. Oh, yeah. All right. So I guess we begin. Shall we commence? Oh, we should probably say the Creed. Yeah, yeah. All right. So I guess we begin. Shall we commence? Oh, we should probably say the Creed. Yeah, we should say the Creed once more.
Starting point is 00:32:09 Do we have to choose a liquid first? No. No, anything. Anything? Yep. Oh, really? That makes sense, I guess. What?
Starting point is 00:32:16 No, don't worry about it, bro. What did you say? Don't worry about it a little, bro. Where's O'Day? Can you just sing this thing? We're getting sauerkraut. Can we get O'Day in here? TJ, is O'Day over there? Is Tyler O'Day? Can you just sing this thing? We're getting sauerkraut. Can we get O'Day in here? TJ, is O'Day over there?
Starting point is 00:32:26 Is Tyler O'Day over there? Sing it to maybe the tune of Yankee Doodle Dandy. Big T can sing as well. He won't come in here anymore. So Frank got his first pitch off. I saw the video. Right down the middle. It's a humble hopper.
Starting point is 00:32:37 And then the fight was incredible. The fight was awesome. The fact that Frank started a fight. Frank skipped that like a cricket pitcher. Bowler. No O'Day. No O'Day. Who can sing?
Starting point is 00:32:50 What about Big T? What about Big T? Can you get Big T to sing? I don't think he... This is a fight. Oh, this is the first one. Big T probably thinks we're just going to show him a dog. Did we do that?
Starting point is 00:33:01 Yeah, four stars. He'll never come back in here. Never, ever. He's our white whale. Well, Caleb called. Never, ever. He's our white whale. Well, Caleb called him homophobic. He's our white whale. Oh, here he comes. I love how slow he's...
Starting point is 00:33:14 I'm not saying Frank is slow. That was deliberate. He's milking his time. He's milking his spotlight. He's enjoying the moment. Oh, wow. It was right down the middle. It bounced into the strike zone.
Starting point is 00:33:29 Big T, can you please sing the Lunchman's Creed for us? That's not the Lunchman's Creed. I mean the Smoothie Man's Creed. Smoothie Man's. Yep. What tune would you like to... It's your dealer's choice. Whatever tune you would like to sing it to.
Starting point is 00:33:43 Well, I mean, there's... You gotta... I mean, we got, I don't, this is. We already said it ourselves. You want to do it to Rocky Top? We'll join in with you. Yeah, that might work. Or maybe do it to I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman by Spears. I'm thinking more of a pop tone.
Starting point is 00:33:59 I'm not familiar with that one. I'm not a girl, not yet a woman. Something like that. Today's the day, unlike any other. Girls just want to have fun? Do it like an Olivia Rodrigo song. Come on, girl. The phone rings.
Starting point is 00:34:12 Livrod's canceled right now. She made a bad choice. What'd she do? She was... She was preaching. She shouldn't have been. Someone pull up a dog dick real quick so we can show it to people. She brought Jesus into it.
Starting point is 00:34:27 Rocky Top is a good one. Okay, all right, all right. What's the tune of Rocky Top? I don't know. All right, so. Today is a day unlike any other. I will create a drink that competes with my brother's choice of ingredients I will take. And combine them all into one perfect shake, a shake of apples, ice cream, or some mint.
Starting point is 00:34:59 A drink that may hurt us like if we were in Flint, Michigan. And as the day has come to an end, I will look back and smile. When I think of its blend, thanks to the smoothie man who we pay our respects. We look to him as we say Ten Thank you, Big T. That was Smoothie Man's Creed. We should have done a song that had a rhyme scheme. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:35 Well, we kind of fit it in. That was great. We worked it in. Rocky Top will always be home to me. Flint, Michigan. Yeah, that was a nice little twist. I wish you would have given us a heads up. That's not what you meant.
Starting point is 00:35:48 He just sprung that on us a little bit. All right. Flint and steel. I was talking about sharpening a blade. Shall we start? Yes. I suppose so. And so you have to take one fruit, one drink, and then two grab bags.
Starting point is 00:36:06 But not in any order. You can pick whatever you want. Two grab bags? Two grab bags. Yes. We have enough for two grab bags? Yes. What the fuck are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:36:15 We've all put four things in. Yo, sidebar real quick. How the fuck do you deal with this guy? You would not believe our chemistry in the studio. The John Krasinski, Ted Krasinski thing was very funny. Son of a boy dad goes to Scribe right now. Also, The Yak, leave us a nice review on the podcast. Mango!
Starting point is 00:36:39 Take the actual mango, too. Take the full one. Are you okay? Something's wrong with your palate, brother. Kwame Brown. Should we call your parents? Bad pick. Horrendous pick, Nick.
Starting point is 00:36:57 I agree, Big Cat. Thanks, Nick. All the fruits are fine. Why would you take a fruit first? Yeah, all the fruits are fine. There's vegetables. There's one vegetable. It's peas. You brought it. Five.
Starting point is 00:37:12 And then wait, Che gets the... What does Che get? Wow, Roan. I wanted birthday cake. Fantastic pick, Roan. Good pick, Roan. Thanks, boys. You see what the fucking... Yeah, hot dogs and... That's good.
Starting point is 00:37:27 Hot dogs and pickles. You don't need to do this. What is that? No! The chocolate Swiss Miss? No, you're not getting away with dessert. That's been your draft tactic every single draft. No, not the first one.
Starting point is 00:37:38 Dickhead. I stole it from someone else the first time. No, I think it's... I'm four, aren't I? Yep, and three people went, oh, wow, I'm going to explode. All right. It's hard.
Starting point is 00:37:47 It's hard. This is my fucking mind. This is really hard to do. His attention just goes in and out. Jesus. He's standing right in front of the camera. Every camera, too. I don't know how you're in front of all the cameras.
Starting point is 00:38:06 He's concave. So, what do the hot dogs look like? Oh, my God. Just pick it. That's a grab bag. Grab bag. It's fruits, drinks, or grab bag. So, if it's not a fruit or a drink, it's probably a grab bag.
Starting point is 00:38:20 Unless it's the goat milk. Correct. All right. I'm going to go bananas. You have to take the strawberries. You have to take all three milks. There are two goat milk. Correct. Bananas. You have to take all three milks. There are two milks now. That's your liquid, so now you can't take any more liquid unless it's the goat milk.
Starting point is 00:38:34 I guess I don't need to explain myself. No, you can. I think getting a bad liquid would be the worst part. There's a lot of good liquids. I disagree. I think that the liquid can almost... I think it's the worst part. There's a lot of good liquid. That's the base of the... Yeah, but unless you get that I disagree. I think that the liquid can almost... Okay. I think it's the least important. I'm gonna go.
Starting point is 00:38:49 Say that until you have the whiskey sour mix. It looks expensive. No, you're not allowed to take the donuts, big cat. Goat milk? What? So he's going to get double liquid. You instantly regretted that. Double liquid.
Starting point is 00:39:11 I love it. I love it. I love it. Love it. Love it. Is goat milk bad? No, it's good. But that goat milk is bad.
Starting point is 00:39:18 It's better than mule's milk. Mules can't produce milk. Actually, I'm making that up. They do? I have no idea Mules milk has a mouth Raspberries are a fruit Correct I think they're a fruit
Starting point is 00:39:34 I ate two picks in a row Yeah Two picks for Nick That's a fact He's got two sunny delights First picks Oh good calls off Two picks for Nick. That's a fact. He's got two Sunny Delights. First picks. Oh, good call, Zod.
Starting point is 00:39:48 Thank you. And the little boy's lollipop. Please note it is my son's lollipop. You took his son's lollipop? Who do you think you are? The Death Wish. Oh, thank you. Does he have three liquids?
Starting point is 00:40:06 I have a grab bag and a liquid. Okay, okay. That's not even a bad combo either. Who is for it? Is that my whole thing planned out? You guys aren't thinking the final product. I'm going to have problems for my next picks. So Sass has his liquid chosen. He needs a fruit or a veggie or a grab bag.
Starting point is 00:40:24 It's going to take a while. Do you want to go Oreos? Okay. Can I have one, please? No, you may not. No, no, no. Fuck. You guys know I'm on a diet.
Starting point is 00:40:32 Thank you. That's why you brought the hot dogs. And Owen is eyeing up the whiskey. He's got the whiskey sour. The whiskey sour. So we're getting low on the drinks. We have a Monster Energy and a Club Soda left. And the Monster Energy is not bad.
Starting point is 00:40:46 Okay. Why are you echoing? Was the Whiskey Sour a drink, a liquid, or a grab bag? It's a liquid. It's a liquid, yeah. So who doesn't have their liquid? Kyle and Roan, right? Kyle and Roan don't have liquids.
Starting point is 00:40:59 Are we short of liquid? I'm going to take this Club Soda. I'm going to take this loaf. That is a grab bag loaf. That's great. You got a real ready mix. There's no reason to pick a liquid at this point. The thing is, there's no strong flavors in that.
Starting point is 00:41:17 You could get overpowered pretty easy. That sauerkraut hits. That sauerkraut's hitting. Oh, no. I think I made a mistake. I think I've made a mistake. Goat milk first. Goat milk first round pick. I think I made a mistake.
Starting point is 00:41:34 You go twice now. I know you want those anti-diarrhea. Actually, no, I made a mistake. You're playing out the rest of it in your mind. I am confidently saying now I've made a mistake. Monster and banana. I'm going monster and
Starting point is 00:41:49 bananas. Freeze dried bananas, not whole. Fruit monster, I'm good. No, you're not. Roan's might be the sneaky worst one. Oh yeah, Kyle's is good. So I'm going to take my fruit right now. So I'm either between bananas or these really nice raspberries.
Starting point is 00:42:09 Oh, actually, I'm okay. I think I'm going to take. I think I'm butt fucked. I'm going to take the raspberries. You're going to have to have the peas. I'm going to have to have the peas. Like, I was just playing it out. The fruits is actually the dangerous one because there's one bad one and all the others are bad.
Starting point is 00:42:22 I mean, the olives are bad, too. That's not a fruit, is it? Are the olives grab bag or are they a vegetable? Grab bag. Okay, but I have both my grab bags. Oh, you need two grab bags. Fuck. You need two grab bags. Two grab bags. Oh, fuck. Someone's eating paper. Anti-diarrheal. Anti-diarrheal.
Starting point is 00:42:38 It's ticker tape. It's actually ticker tape. Oh, wait. Wasn't I supposed to go? Oh, no. Yeah, it's me. That was your fault. I said it's you You said it in the most You said it in the most questioning way possible Whatever Shut up He needs a fruit and a grab bag
Starting point is 00:42:57 That ticker tape looks Decent The olives The half sandwich The kraut and the ticker tape It looks decent. It's colorful. The grab bags. The olives. The half sandwich. Yep. The kraut and the ticker tape. Yep. Just no bananas, no peas.
Starting point is 00:43:10 You got to think about the aesthetics of your drink, too. Take the hot dogs. Yeah, that's why I took the raspberries for just to go with the ticker tape. Okay, you're going to eat a mouthful of paper. So what Sass just did for people who are following at home, what Sass did was just make the biggest mistake of the draft. That was the biggest mistake. How much paper do we have to put in?
Starting point is 00:43:30 The whole of it. But here's what he doesn't realize. Here's what he doesn't realize. My next pick is bananas. Wait, there's one banana left. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You also will be picking bananas. I'll be picking bananas as well.
Starting point is 00:43:42 You can't do that. And I have another pick. We both have now Picked our bananas And now Sass is gonna Have to have the peas I know I knew that Going into it
Starting point is 00:43:50 I'm going grab the peas And tick her teeth Wait I have to get One more grab bag One more grab bag Wait are we short on fruit I don't have a fruit yet Oh you're fucked
Starting point is 00:43:58 No I'm good What's your grab bag I have goat milk Wait what's the other fruit Out there Sauerkraut Was olive oil Hot dog and pitbull
Starting point is 00:44:04 Peas No but Sass doesn't have a fruit I don't have a fruit either We're short on a fruit I have goat milk. Wait, what's the other fruit out there? Sauerkraut. Was olive oil? Hot dog and pit bull. Peas. No, but Sass doesn't have a fruit. I don't have a fruit either. We're short on a fruit. No, fruit or vegetable. Peas is the last vegetable. Olives.
Starting point is 00:44:12 Olives, no? Oh, so then it would have to be olives. Oh, olives was my grab bag. What's the fruit? What's everybody's fruit? Banana. Banana. Oh.
Starting point is 00:44:22 Oh, are the organic bananas a grab bag or a fruit? That's my fruit. Oh, that's a fruit. Cheater. Cheater. You have? That's a fruit. Cheater. You have to give up your pick. You have to eat human shit. You have to trade that in for sauerkraut. No. I can do mystery bag.
Starting point is 00:44:35 You know what the mystery bag is. You just took two fruits. When did you do that? You fucker. Put them back. Or let him take that? You fucker. That was his first and second pick. You fucker. Put him back. Put him back. Or let him take Zah's mystery ingredient. That has not been revealed. I have to take my grab bag.
Starting point is 00:44:54 Zah has a mystery ingredient. You said olives were grab bag? Yes. You have to take the sauerkraut. Oh! Alright, so my next pick. You have to take the sauerkraut Those are from the office fridge They could be
Starting point is 00:45:08 You have to You fucked up You brought it You fucked up bro You fucked up No no These are best by December 21
Starting point is 00:45:18 Alright I'm fucked Fuck Rowan you're up No I am I'm feeling good What Oh yeah Was it Did you like your cutlet sandwich All right, I'm fucked. Fuck. Rowan, you're up. No, I am. I'm feeling good. What? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:29 Did you like your color sandwich? So, I just took it yesterday. It was good. It was delicious. It's been in my backpack, though. It hasn't been refrigerated. It's been in a bag the whole time. I'm done, right? Yes.
Starting point is 00:45:41 I'm also done. I mean, the club soda is mine. Well, I just took it. I'm second to last pick. We're sending it back. I mean, the club soda is mine. Well, we're sending it back. I just took olives as my last pick. So now it's going back. Right. So you're five. I'm deciding between the chicken cutlet sandwich or the hot dogs and pickles.
Starting point is 00:45:57 Wait, am I before or after, Sass? You're after me? Yeah. The peas won't really have much of a taste. Yeah, I don't think they taste... No, you'll know.
Starting point is 00:46:11 You'll know. You do have to pour all of them in, yeah. As well as the ticker tape. All the ticker tape. And all the sauerkraut. He's got the
Starting point is 00:46:20 cutlet sandwich. No, it was in the backpack. No, no, no, no. He never let go of the chess piece. He never let go, no, no. He didn't take his hand off. He didn't take his hand off. Didn't realize that part. So, Sass, that's your fruit, right?
Starting point is 00:46:32 Okay, so I somehow ended up with this. So, aside from the ticker tape, I've got a pretty solid smoothie. That's mine. I have the worst one by far. Oh, no's KB. I have the worst one by far. Oh, no, KB. All right, so now do we do our mystery item? And we each get our own seven-pound bag of ice. Yes.
Starting point is 00:46:54 Roan, you took my phone, didn't you? No, I didn't take your phone. We've been on tape the entire time. So I have the – what blend do I have? I'm the fourth blender. Who's the third blender? Let's do – I blend first. Let's do real quick, though.
Starting point is 00:47:06 Let's do real quick. Who blends third? I think we should do a draft or we should do another pick of Zah's mystery item and someone has to just get it added to their smoothie. Zah brought a mystery item? Zah brought a mystery item. Well, how many mystery items do we have total? But I think that Zah's – Do we have enough for everybody?
Starting point is 00:47:22 Let's just add – someone has to add it. I have four. Okay, KB, you can add it. No, no, no. Yeah, it's the only one you don't know. I actually do know what it is. So then you have to take it. I do. I wouldn't mind it, but I think there should be another method to see who gets it. I actually... This
Starting point is 00:47:37 would probably help my overall smooth. Are we doing any trades? Are we doing any trade-ins? No. I'll trade you the hot dogs and the pickles for anything you want to give me. Yours sucks. Coffee and pickles and hot dogs? No, yours is gross. I think you need to just go.
Starting point is 00:47:54 I'm shocked by what you picked. I have sauerkraut, a whole sandwich, a monster energy, and mango. The monster's good. Mine's flies well. Wait, these go with sauerkraut. I'm fucking not trading you. How does Roan win these every single time? That looks delicious. I win it fine.
Starting point is 00:48:12 That looks good. Roan's about to have a watery bread mix. Yeah, I don't know if he wants. It's all cake. I want. It's going to be sweet. No, you have to eat paper. You have ticker tape.
Starting point is 00:48:21 Who cares? You have to eat a bunch of paper. Oreos and milk. You have to eat a bunch of paper. All right, so what are we doing for Zod's mystery item? That's good. I have a better one than Rob. I have an NSYNC member's age.
Starting point is 00:48:32 Wait, can I trade this just straight up for Zod's mystery item? Yes, that's fair. Wait, is that how the crap? Is that bad? Yes, do it. Do it. Do it, pussy. Do it.
Starting point is 00:48:41 I'll fucking do it. Fine, I'll fucking do it. All right, it's a KB's bag. Actually, you want me to get it? Who's getting it. I'll fucking do it. Fine, I'll fucking do it. It's a KB's bag. Actually, you want me to get it? Who's getting it? It's in the bag. All right, I want to hear Owen's trade first. It's got to be grab bag, though.
Starting point is 00:48:52 It's got to still be mystery, right? You can't trade a liquid or a vegetable. I will give you peas and whiskey sour for, oh, no, fuck. I was going to say coffee and the hot dogs, but the trade clause was I would eat them both raw right now and not put them in my smoothie. No deal. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:49:07 All right, let's just do some type of contest for Zod's mystery item. Yeah. All right. Can you give us a non-NSYNC member? Yeah. Because they're all around the same age. Let's do the age game. We're going to do the age game.
Starting point is 00:49:19 So here's how it's going to work. The person farthest away just has to add Zod's mystery item to their smoothie. Okay. Okay. Let's do it. You're right. They're all around the same age. No boy bands.
Starting point is 00:49:31 No boy bands. No, no, no. This is totally fair. The ugliest member of NSYNC, Chris Kirkpatrick. What is his birthday? No. Joey Patone's the ugliest. Come on.
Starting point is 00:49:39 Just don't do NSYNC. We're begging you to go in a different direction, and you keep on going the same direction. Please. Let's get Mincy in here. Let's get him to do something. You see how fast you can eat this banana. Mincy. All right.
Starting point is 00:49:54 Guess is. Will you eat this banana as fast as you can on, okay. All right. We're going to guess, though, first. You don't have to eat the peel. Are you a fast banana eater? Hold on. All right. We're going to guess, though, first. Don't open it. Like the whole process or just like – You don't have to eat the peel. Yeah, but hold on. Are you a fast banana eater? Hold on.
Starting point is 00:50:09 Hold on. Hold on because we're going to guess the time. Over, under on this? Yeah, yeah. All right. Sass? It's going to more be who's closest. And are you a fast banana eater?
Starting point is 00:50:17 Oh, are we betting on this? I'm guessing, yeah. I've never really done a banana speed run. Speaking of the mic. Speaking of the mic. Here, move the mic closer to the door. He's an experienced banana eater, I can tell. I'm really fast at eating crawfish.
Starting point is 00:50:26 Okay. Okay, perfect. I'll take that into consideration. He's getting ready to open the banana from the bottom, which is the fastest way to open. That's how the apes do it. Wait, wait, wait. Okay, wait. So he's going to eat a banana.
Starting point is 00:50:39 Is peeling it count in the time? Yeah, exactly. Do I peel? I think yes. I think that makes it more fun. He has to peel. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Don't do it. We're all going to guess first. Okay, Yeah, exactly. Do I peel? I think yes. I think that makes it more fun. Yes, definitely. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Don't do it.
Starting point is 00:50:48 We're all going to guess first. Yeah, yeah. I'm like a sprinter at the starting line. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to go... And does it have to be swallowed? Yeah. He's got to eat it.
Starting point is 00:50:57 Decimals include decimals. That's a normal question. He's got to show his mouth. He's got to be like... All right, I'm going to go 13.5. I'm going to go 38.6. I'm going to go 38.6. I'm going to go 29.4. Wow.
Starting point is 00:51:09 Are you writing these down? Not a lot of faith in this market. Someone writing these down? 19.2. Yeah, you might take a while. 25. Remember, this is the farthest away has to get Zaz mystery item. All right, Owen? Wozier's 25. Remember, this is the farthest away has to get Zaz Mr. Adam. All right, Owen.
Starting point is 00:51:28 What was yours? 25. 24. Five. Okay. All right, hold on, hold on. Zaz, are you ready? All right.
Starting point is 00:51:38 I'll say 3-2-1. You're not a lot of faith in me in this market. You are peeling it from the wrong side. No, that's the right side. Watch it. You pinch and it just falls apart. No pinching yet. No pinching yet.
Starting point is 00:51:50 He's not pinching yet. We have all the times. Take one hand off. One hand off. We have all the times written down. Three. Stanko. You got all the times.
Starting point is 00:51:57 All right. Three, two, one. Oh, he started. Oh, fuck. A little bit early there. Oh, let's fucking go Let's go Oh he can't chew
Starting point is 00:52:11 Oh my god it's gone It's gone Holy shit Vince Oh my god I got it on the dot What you actually said What was the number What was the number Oh my god
Starting point is 00:52:24 13.15 So Ro number? Oh my god, 13.15. So Roan lost. Oh my god. Holy shit. Can we get a replay? That was fucking incredible. I did not expect that. I thought y'all were going hot.
Starting point is 00:52:39 Can we do... I asked you if you ate fast. I'm about to go work out. Can you beat it? Can you beat it? Yeah. No. Yeah, let's run it back.
Starting point is 00:52:50 Let's see if he can beat it. Let's run it back. All right, yeah, see if he can beat it. All right, give me the other one. Only for you, Big Cat. New times. New times. Give me the other one.
Starting point is 00:52:56 What I'm puking doing on this corner. New times. New times, all right? No, not new times. New times. Let's see if he can beat it. It's not new times. I'm saying 12.7. This is simply for the sport of it. Yeah. To see if he can beat it. It's not new times. I'm saying 12.7.
Starting point is 00:53:05 This is simply for the sport of it. Yeah. To see if he can, as a man. I'm going 9.9. No, there's no new times. 12.7. I'm going to hate you when I'm doing all this. No, you're good.
Starting point is 00:53:14 You're not getting cramps. All right. Hold on. I'm going to take a break. We're going to be potassiumed up. All right. Ready, Zah? Wait, you dropped the other banana.
Starting point is 00:53:22 Mitchie, I asked if you could eat bananas fast, and you handed it hard. That's incredible. I asked specifically if you could eat bananas fast, and you acted like you never had a banana peel. I tried to say it back. Why did you try to do that? You fucked me over, Mincy. Mincy, you've got to beat your other time. 13.1 points.
Starting point is 00:53:40 The bar's been set pretty high on that one, but I'll do it again. I'm going to say 3, 2, 1 again, and then you're going to go. Okay. Three, two, one. What the fuck? Come on. Push. Ah!
Starting point is 00:54:03 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! If only I could gamble half as good as I can eat bananas. Dude, you're a beast. You want to go one more? No. He's not beating me. I think it's on you. I don't want this to sound sus, but I could watch Mincy eat bananas all day long.
Starting point is 00:54:22 You know what? I will sound sus. I'm going to entertain you, big hell. Oh, my God, Mincy. You're a hero. All right, have a good workout. Thank you very much. I'll probably text you if I'm, like, puking, bitching at you.
Starting point is 00:54:32 Yeah, I'm not going to reply. Yeah, yeah. Of course you're not. Shoot him a text. But it'll be fine. There we go. Love it, Mincy. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:54:39 What a beast. Holy fuck. That was fucking sick. I'm, like, buzzing off of that. That was crazy. All right, Roan, so you get the mystery, Zah's mystery items. Fuck that. Oh, it's going to ruin the perfect shake.
Starting point is 00:54:53 I know. When Big Cat asked if he should trade it and Zah gave him the shake, no. Roan, you're. I mean, there's enough to share, right? It's goat, right? Is it goat? No, worse. It's crickets.
Starting point is 00:55:05 Oh, let's go. It's crickets. That's not bad. Crickets? It's goat, right? Is it goat? No, worse. It's crickets. Oh, let's go. It's crickets. That's not bad. Crickets? That's actually not bad. I'll trade you the hot dogs for the crickets. No, I'll keep the crickets. All right.
Starting point is 00:55:12 See? Hot dogs are worse. I'll trade you the confetti for the crickets. The confetti would complete the look. All right. I'll take the confetti for the crickets. Wait. Let me see the confetti.
Starting point is 00:55:21 No. No, no, no, no, no, no. You said I would fucking trade it. I don't have to. I didn't shake on anything. No, you, no. You said I would fucking trade it. I don't have to. I didn't shake on anything. No, you didn't. You said you would. I didn't have to shake.
Starting point is 00:55:28 I didn't shake. You made an offer, and I took the offer. He put out a feeler. You can trade the confetti for a mystery bag. I'll trade the crickets for... No, no, we have to add.
Starting point is 00:55:37 Just add one more item, right? Is that what the mystery bag is? Are we doing any trick? Can you trick? No, I don't think so. Yes, we are. I have a mystery... Are you trading? Are we trading for the mystery bag or? Are we doing any trick? Can you trick? No, I don't think so. Yes, we are. Are you trading?
Starting point is 00:55:45 Are we trading for the mystery bag or no? For the crickets? You can trade any of your items for something from the mystery bag. Let's do it. Wait, I'll trade you these for the crickets. Anti-diarrhea. Fuck. He doesn't have the crickets.
Starting point is 00:55:57 Pickles and the hot dogs are the worst. Yeah, that's bad. Wait, what? With milk and coffee. Oh, I wish I did it. Go milk and coffee. Ron, can I I did it. Go milk and coffee. Ron, can I trade one of my items for one of your mystery items? I don't want to not be able to, like, shit all weekend.
Starting point is 00:56:14 And it would just be out? What? Yes, you can trade your... Ron, you're going to be extra bloated at your wedding. Oh, no. Oh, no. Fuck, dude. Bro, you don't want me fucking... When you take those things, it just seals your asshole shut. for your vegetable. Oh, no. Anti-diarrhea pills. Fuck, dude. Bro.
Starting point is 00:56:26 When you take those things, it just seals your asshole shut. All right, what are you going to trade for? I want to get rid of this fucking sandwich. Okay, the sandwich? Yeah. So the sandwich is out for you, and it's replaced by silly string.
Starting point is 00:56:40 Oh, wait. That's not edible. Yeah. Silly string. I would argue it's not edible. I'll do that. I have another silly string. I'll trade this for the hot. If you guys will allow me, I will use.
Starting point is 00:56:53 No, I'll do the red silly string, but not the orange. No, I want the red. I think the orange would go better with the papaya or with the mango. No, I want the red. I'm worried for KP's health with that thing. Rowan, I meant to include liquids in our draft. In the trade? In the trade, yeah. Oh, that want the red. I'm worried for KP's health with that thing. Rowan, I meant to include liquids in our draft. Rowan? In the trade?
Starting point is 00:57:07 Trade, yeah. Oh, that's just out. You could just throw it by the wayside. Wait, what? Whoa. He's trading for the grab bag. Oh, and I want to trade the hot dogs for the grab bag. All right.
Starting point is 00:57:16 Here's the other silly string. You brought the hot dog. Wait, no. He has my grab bag. Yeah, his grab bag. I did bring the hot dogs. You really don't want those hot dogs. It was a big mistake.
Starting point is 00:57:25 All right, you'll be getting a potato. That is so much better. That's so much better. Is this a strong blender? Are there any? It better be. It's a fucking raw blender. It better be.
Starting point is 00:57:37 Are there any liquids in the grab bag? Yeah. There's a liquid in the grab bag? Wait, what's? Oh, yeah. How bad is the grab bag right now? I'm considering trading in olives. I know.
Starting point is 00:57:47 Owen's trading in... Also, we forgot, like, there's... By the way, there's two things. One is, you know you have to blend the wood, too, on that lollipop. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:57:57 Yeah, I guess I do. Two is, do you remember that we all, like, we had the order for blending? So, if I had the hot dogs, like, someone else was going to eat them anyway. Who's the number three blender? I am. What are you? Four. Oh, this was for blender.
Starting point is 00:58:12 Yeah. Yeah. Okay, Owen traded his cocktail mix. Owen's mixer is gone. He'll be getting a Bloody Mary. Is it just Bloody Mary mix? It's Bloody Mary mix With peas
Starting point is 00:58:26 It's Bloody Mary juice With peas and what else? What's the rest of your shit? Yeah, Owen just has a Bloody Mary Peas, crickets, Bloody Mary Peas, crickets, Bloody Mary That's not that bad What else is in there?
Starting point is 00:58:36 What else do you have? What other grab bags? You got a juice What was your good pick? I don't want to do this anymore What was your first pick? Alright, Sass You want to trade? No, I'm good Anyone want to do this. What was your first pick? Alright, Sass, you want to trade? No, I'm good. Anyone want to
Starting point is 00:58:47 trade? Two more items. I'll trade olives. Why do you get to pick? Yeah, I'm confused by that. Getting your eyes all in there. He chose to bring the grab bag. Okay, if they're equal, fuck it. Butter. Okay, If they're equal, fuck it. Butter.
Starting point is 00:59:06 Okay, that's not bad. Fuck. All right, I'll trade the confetti. I'm trading the confetti. He's trading confetti. Here, I got you. It's for ice cream. You got a loaf of pumpernickel.
Starting point is 00:59:15 Whoa. All right. No, ice cream. Pumpernickel. I thought it was my turn. Oh, yeah, it is your turn. It is your turn. So you got ice cream.
Starting point is 00:59:22 Yeah, you have the foam ice cream. Oh, wait. I don't. No, you do. It's my turn. It's my turn. What the hell is cream. Wait, I don't. No, you do. It's my turn. What the hell is that? You can't do that. You alternate grab bags.
Starting point is 00:59:30 It was my turn. He had just grab bagged. He's been going back and forth the whole time. He had just grab bagged. So he said, you have the thing, and then Rowan goes, no, you have the foam ice cream. You alternate the grab bags. Take the ice cream. It's just a foam ball.
Starting point is 00:59:44 Yeah, yeah. You got to take that take that Dude it's foam That is so strange It wouldn't be a kid's toy I would've taken a redo On my Bloody Mary It wouldn't be a kid's toy If you couldn't eat it
Starting point is 00:59:52 I obviously didn't want A Bloody Mary But no I'm just confused That's a great point That is a great point Do you want this Funfetti as a side I'm gonna get
Starting point is 01:00:00 No no just the foam ball Just the foam ball Just the ice cream Not the cone Should've just kept The fucking confetti Does anyone want to trade For my silly string I'm going to die from this. No, just the foam ball. Just the ice cream, not the cone. Should have just kept the fucking confetti. Does anyone want to trade for my silly string? You could swap it back for the other string.
Starting point is 01:00:13 I'll trade. Trade the foam ball. It's red or nothing. Or the splat ball Trump. Wait, wait, wait. Why does Owen have the confetti? He just ended up with it. It was just in the discarded pile. He can just have it. I'll trade you. Potato for confetti? No the confetti? He just ended up with it. It was just in the discarded pile. He can just have it.
Starting point is 01:00:26 I'll trade you potato for confetti? No, confetti is not his. I can't trade a boy to him. It's just side confetti. All right, let's blend. So can I? You can trade. Can I do that?
Starting point is 01:00:36 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's illegal. That's not his confetti. Because it's not your confetti as part of the game. That's side confetti. My potato back. The same way that this splat ball Trump is just a side Splatball Trump. Here's what we're going to do.
Starting point is 01:00:48 Oh man, we could have got Splatball Trump. Yeah, that was the other mystery item. Where did you go? A party store. Alright, so let's blend. When you blend, before you blend, make sure that you lay everything out and take a picture of it.
Starting point is 01:01:03 Because Steve and Jay will probably blog it after. So lay it out, take a picture of it. Because Steve and Jake will probably vlog it after. So lay it out, take a picture of it, and then blend it, and then take a picture of the blend. Do we have cups? Let me go get some cups. I don't trust what Roan's about to say. I sure as hell don't either. None of us trust each other.
Starting point is 01:01:18 Spray big time. Oh! You could have fucking broke my my nose dude The fucking week before My wedding bro Get fucked bro I'm getting cut Straight up got your ass Don't bring that
Starting point is 01:01:32 Silly string with you Why not If you know it's good for you You won't bring the string Whose first blend Whose first blend It's Sass Relax What'd you just say, bitch?
Starting point is 01:01:46 Dude, mincey. I just can't get over it. Dude, just... Inhale that fucking... That was astounding. Hoover's banana. The second one, he was, like, doing this to his mouth like it was hot. I think he was trying to squish it with his fingers.
Starting point is 01:01:57 Oh, okay. Oh. Ooh, that sounds good. She's gonna be broken by the end of this. Who's the first one up? Roan? Roan. Yeah, Roan always wins these.
Starting point is 01:02:14 I don't know how. He does. He's really good at it. I just always think, I think my first two draft picks are always strong, and then I just forget that the draft keeps going. Your first draft pick was goat milk. Yeah, it was actually good. It was a grab bag.
Starting point is 01:02:30 Milk is a good thing to have in a smoothie. But you could have just gotten the actual milk. No, I couldn't have. You had taken it before me. I thought you were before. No, you don't know. We could do this draft 100 times. You still won't know the order.
Starting point is 01:02:43 And I look who has a better smoothie than you, bitch. You're eating foam. You are. I have at least all edible things. His worst item is a potato. Open up that goat milk. I'm going to whiff it. What is Roan doing?
Starting point is 01:02:57 There's no way it takes as long as the cups. I don't trust him. I didn't know the crickets were flavored. What flavor? Sour cream and onion and bacon and cheddar. Oh, that's pretty good. That's not that bad. I'm looking at yours, Owen, and I just can't fathom what the thought process was.
Starting point is 01:03:13 I honestly don't think, I think Owen's is not even close to the worst. Who's got the worst? Because his is just going to taste like a vegetable. I have silly string and sauerkraut. Yeah, yours is just going to taste like a bloody berry. It's just going to taste like a juice of some sort. Oh, you have Irish butter, huh? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:29 Actually, Nick's low-key doesn't really go. Like, Irish butter and banana and orange juice is gross. Orange juice and banana don't mix. They don't mix. At all. They don't mix. The word nor butter. What did he do?
Starting point is 01:03:43 Oh, he's done it again, folks When he thought that Roan was going to just get regular cups He went and got clear cups That's better, yeah That is nice and measurable For the pictures And then I guess we have the sample cups That we can have people come in here and sample
Starting point is 01:03:59 Okay, Roan, you're up Roan, you're up Take a photo Will it blend? Oh, let's grab a trash can. I got it. Grab a trash can that we can dump out stuff that's blended for the next blendee. Okay.
Starting point is 01:04:19 That's going to be a very interesting element of this blended portion. I don't think you need to put the whole thing in. You put halves of things. Anyone's going to be fucked. It's not going to fill the cup. Yeah, right. I'm going to put half of my potato. You just have to have part of everything. Why don't we zoom in on Big Cat trying to break a potato over his knee? You'd be the world's strongest man That was stupid
Starting point is 01:04:52 That was dumb Alright, Rowan That looks Oh, so you want A cake and a nice It was a very casual Yeah, that was dumb I think that might be too much ice
Starting point is 01:04:59 Yeah, you went overboard on the ice Pro tip Put the ice in last so it weighs everything down. Oh, the ice goes in last. The ice goes in last. The ice goes in last. Yeah, that could have been. This is a mistake. I just realized how much we're – I'm going to say it right now.
Starting point is 01:05:24 We're all going to clean up together. Yes. Owen does not have to do this all himself. Yeah. This is by far the messiest thing we've ever done. You think? Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 01:05:36 All right. Tell him when he blends it to hold the top down. Hold the top down. Chase gatekeeping. Chase gatekeeping. Wait, you got the... Yeah, get that medicine in there. This reminds me just of it.
Starting point is 01:05:46 Get the medicine. You got to blend the whole thing. He does have another ball of a time back there. I'm a hat that I don't have to drink this shit. This is the best one by far. And Che, since you worked at a smoothie restaurant, you are gatekeeping. Should you taste every one and determine a winner? Yes.
Starting point is 01:06:04 Yes. Yes. I guess so. and determine a winner? Yes. Yes. Yes. I guess so. That's true. It's only fair. Yes. It's only fair. Che, you worked at a smoothie place
Starting point is 01:06:13 decades plural ago? Eight years ago. A decade and a half. This shit is too cakey to open this. Here. Give me past me the box. Put the whole thing in. If you pour like two ounces into each cup, I'll try one.
Starting point is 01:06:26 I'll grade the best one. All right. Those are extra strength, too. Brother, you're not going to be getting anything out of your ass for a while. En contraire, my friend. That shit is a portal to hell. Buckets There it is Yeah it looks good
Starting point is 01:06:51 It's a little And we're good Got QB sneaked at a party And I didn't shit for three weeks Okay Here we go Yeah this is gonna be Yeah it's gonna be messy
Starting point is 01:07:03 Yeah it goes You need the sauce It just sprays Che Get in here How do I fucking work this Here we go. Yeah, this is going to be messy. Yeah, it goes over the sides. This just sprays. Jay. Get in here. How do I fucking work this? That goes over the sides. Oh, thank you, TJ.
Starting point is 01:07:16 Oh, there we go. We got it. Oh, hell yeah. We got it. Steven, hit the road. This is what Steven was talking about The ice has to go in last God, have we ever blended before? This actually looks good
Starting point is 01:07:35 Yeah, it does look great He won, he fucking won again Oh man There it is. Oh, my. Drink up. His is just completely fine. Yeah. Yeah, it is. Oh, my. Drink up. His is just completely fine. Yeah. Yeah, it is.
Starting point is 01:08:10 Fucking foam ball in mine. I don't know. I'm worried about KB's. Ooh. That's so good. Holy shit. What? How?
Starting point is 01:08:21 How? That looks incredible. That was a good one, Sas. That was a Hall of Fame Sas laugh. I don't understand how yours just looks like. He just wins every fucking time. Wait, you got to pour it out or something, right? You got to pour it for Che.
Starting point is 01:08:37 Oh, yeah. We can have an intern come in and make him drink. Yeah. The interns are all down at the shore. They're having an event there tonight. Yeah, it's meet the bar still inter. It's intern night at Park House. Socialize with the bar still inter.
Starting point is 01:08:55 But that's not as much residue as I thought there would be. Not too much residue. It's pretty empty. There's a decent chunk of residue in there, brother. I saw the intern riley in the gambling cave yesterday drop his phone on his face from maybe a full extension of his arm oh wow right on his face from from doing how he was sitting in the gambling cave just looking at his phone like
Starting point is 01:09:14 this why dropped it why i don't know why would he do full extension i don't know these kids what's next have you tried it, Roan? Not yet. Go ahead and give it a try. Who's up next? It's going to be good. Who's next? Next one. Get up there.
Starting point is 01:09:32 Oh, and you go after KB, too. That sucks. Roan's going in. That's pretty good. I didn't see a sip there. It's delicious. Yeah, I imagine. Take another one.
Starting point is 01:09:44 It's so good. I don't believe him. It's delicious. Yeah, I imagine. Take another one. It's so good. I don't believe him. It's so good. He's just holding it on his mouth. I'm not seeing anything happening. I don't believe he likes it.
Starting point is 01:09:52 Down in the chin area. You drank a decent amount. You don't see the recession of the three fluid ounces. The water line. Chug it. It's a good smoothie.
Starting point is 01:10:03 All right. There we go. It's fucking delicious. Alright, there we go It's fucking delicious Does anyone want some? Yes I kind of want to try it Alright, here we go KB's up
Starting point is 01:10:14 What? The ingredients, yes Yes, the ingredients, yes Unless you want to take a little nibble of some The ice Some crumb cake Remember to put the ice in last Last
Starting point is 01:10:23 A little pro tip. I know this. I know this. No, don't. This one is the worst by far. And everyone after it is fucked. Yeah. The fact that there's trace amounts
Starting point is 01:10:36 of sauerkraut and silly string in the rest of them. Jalapeno sauerkraut? Wait, am I? Do I? I don't clean this? No. That's the whole point of this It's fine
Starting point is 01:10:45 We'll make it better Yeah it's probably true Yeah it's fucking delicious Only yours The sauerkraut Is gonna ruin the entire Blender for everyone else Kyle you are German
Starting point is 01:10:55 Aren't you? Yeah That's pretty obvious Probably like A lot of mango What was that noise? This thing It's like actually
Starting point is 01:11:03 Really fun to use Now that I took the ball off. It's a little bit more dangerous. It's a weapon. Yeah. Oh, shit. It hit me directly in the dick. That's where your dick is? Yeah, bro.
Starting point is 01:11:14 My dick is kind of like all this area. How are you going to do this kraut, KB? Just damn to that motherfucker in, brother. Oh! The juices No, no You fucking shit cunt No Ew, dude, not with your hands
Starting point is 01:11:41 Oh my god It looks like ramen noodles It looks like brains It looks like boogers Stop, stop, no more bo hands. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, it looks like ramen noodles. It looks like brains. It looks like boogers. Stop, stop, no more boogers. All right, you're good. All right, Kyle. Stop.
Starting point is 01:11:49 Why are you doing so much of that? You sicko. I can smell it. Oh, God. Sourcrows. Shake it up first. Shake it up first. Do the first break.
Starting point is 01:11:59 You can't eat that. I don't know how it's not going to work. Can I eat this? You're going to die. How many views do you think we would get if I came back in here and just stabbed you? I think you've got to shoot it into your palm. What do you think the views? Like 100 million.
Starting point is 01:12:17 Watch man die on air. Yeah, that's perfect. I'm worried about the silly string, KB. All right. KB's going to be in the fucking ER after this. That's a monster. A monster and the silly string are going to activate together. The monster neutralizes the silly string.
Starting point is 01:12:34 There's already silly string in monster. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. This is kind of cool. It's delightful. It's so bad. Oh, God. That color. Just green.
Starting point is 01:12:47 I can smell how toxic the silly shit is. Yeah, that's bad. What are you throwing in there? Ice. I'm worried for KB. Your boy's about to be bound bad. I'm worried for all of us because we have to drink after this. You directly afterwards.
Starting point is 01:13:09 Oh, no. No. Ew, why is it that color? Oh, my God. Ew. I think that's actually a good sign. It's a mango. It looks like human fat.
Starting point is 01:13:21 It does. It does. It looks like a bag of lipo fat. KB. This looks like the scene in Fight Club where they break in and get the... Yeah, you're going to make some soap out of it. What the fuck is it? Oh, it's a puck.
Starting point is 01:13:32 Puck. No. All right, you got to remember you got to pour a little for Steven. No, just pour a full thing for you and the rest for Steven. Oh, there's something fall. Oh, that's the silly string, that's the silly string. That's the silly string. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:13:52 Pour out the rest for Steven. We got to number these for Steven. Do we have a pen? I think he'll know. I think he'll know by the hue. That's a nice knife. That's a sharp-ass knife. You would have easily killed KB. Yeah, I would have gone right through him. That's a nice knife. That's a sharp-ass knife. You would have easily killed KB.
Starting point is 01:14:07 Yeah, I would have gone right through him. That was crazy. Whoa. All right. KB. Take your seat. Take your sit. I'm so worried.
Starting point is 01:14:17 I don't even want to watch. It's going to be mango-y. It's going to be very mango-y. You have to eat that phone. Mango-y. What? You have to eat that phone. I'm aware.
Starting point is 01:14:24 It's right here. I don't know. Sauerkraut's really potent. Flip over to Bauer. There it is. Did we put the camera on me? Oh, okay. Davey.
Starting point is 01:14:38 Oh, it's so thick. That's good. Shut the fuck up. No, no, no. It's bad aftertaste. First, it's just like mango-y. Now, it's bad. What's the taste?
Starting point is 01:14:58 I'm tasting something terrible, but I don't know what it is. It's not the sauerkraut. Silly string? Silly string, maybe. Probably the silly string. It's not the sauerkraut. Silly string. Silly string. Probably the silly string. It's so thick. Oh, God. I can't watch.
Starting point is 01:15:13 I can't watch. How is it? Are you really going to be sick from it? No. Yeah. What kind of sick are you about to be from that? What do you have? Goat's milk, coffee, potato, banana.
Starting point is 01:15:33 Yeah, that's four. Yeah. Don't we have five? No, not everybody. Oh, we traded. We traded. That's right. That's right.
Starting point is 01:15:39 I only have five. Yours isn't bad at all. I lost. No, mine's not bad. Are you all right? It's not bad Are you alright? It's not gonna be good No Cause the potato is really gonna play
Starting point is 01:15:49 It's all edible It's not silly string Jesus Christ Hey Kyle You're being like quiet I'm actually fine I know are you good? I'm good
Starting point is 01:15:57 It's not too bad But it's something about it Take more I had to drink a ton of mine You have to drink more He doesn't need to drink more You were fucking You had birthday cake and fucking cornbread. Because I won the draft.
Starting point is 01:16:12 What pick were you? You scammed the draft. I'd go heavy on the coffee Yeah A little bit more goat See a little sauerkraut Do you have potato in there? Yep
Starting point is 01:16:35 I put potato in first Oh And how about the There's a hole in the bottom Very icy You got the banana in there? Oh yeah Are you sure? What color Are you hiding ingredients? Very icy. You got the banana in there? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:45 Are you sure? What color are you going to be? Are you hiding ingredients? Are you looking to see if it's edible? All right. We're blending. Oh, my God. why is it gray? Kai, are you good? Um, I think Silly String might be poison.
Starting point is 01:17:17 Really? He just looked something up and then left. Yeah. Is he gonna go make himself puke? I think he's calling someone. Calling the poison hotline. My actually looks kind of cool. It's very gray.
Starting point is 01:17:31 We should call it. Draft Day comes to an end. It's not a good color. He comes back and his eyes are just yellow. Got a yellow glaze to them. You good? Yes. What did you just Google? We're all looking for a KB update here.
Starting point is 01:17:51 Yeah, we just need something. We're scared. You made me eat silly strings. We didn't. Rowan made you. You traded for it. What did you trade?
Starting point is 01:18:02 I didn't know it was going to be silly. It didn't take? Nah, just give it a little more. Put it on a different setting. Too strong. I mean, the banana has to blend. Yeah, it does. It's not down.
Starting point is 01:18:25 It's not on the blender much. I don't know. No, it's not. Yeah, it is. Now she's roaring. She's really rolling now. KB is furiously Googling. Are you checking out that poison hotline, KB?
Starting point is 01:18:43 Good. What's it say about Silly String? Nothing crazy. Just like... Don't eat it. Okay, that's funny. Just like stop my stomach. Really suck up the mucus membranes in my body.
Starting point is 01:18:58 Stop your stomach. I don't think you had a lot. It's like a coffee... Cafe Latte. Oh, yeah, it is. It's like a Frappuccino. It's like a coffee cafe latte. Oh yeah, it is. It's like a frappuccino. It's like a frap. Does it say anything about styrofoam balls?
Starting point is 01:19:14 I forgot what I had to do. This is actually a really nice smoothy hue. Howard Hughes that we have here. Fucking Howard Hughes over here. We got fucking colors. Make sure you don't put in just chunks of ice because it can't...
Starting point is 01:19:29 It can't process it. We gotta slam the ice on the concrete floor first. Let Big Cat take a nice sip first. This is potato, goat milk, coffee, and banana. Potato, goat milk, coffee, and banana. I feel like this is like what people in Ireland drink. It's like a full meal. Potato, goat milk, coffee, and banana.
Starting point is 01:19:50 If they had bananas, they would do that. If there were bananas in Ireland, they would definitely get busy like that. The great banana famine in Ireland. It doesn't taste good. What does it taste like? Silly strength. What does it taste like, though it doesn't taste like silly strength. What does it taste like, though? What flavors are you getting?
Starting point is 01:20:08 The coffee? The banana actually is the strongest flavor. So the fruits always win in smoothies. We're doing a two-hour yak just to tell you that fruits are always the number one ingredient in a smoothie. Yeah, we'll see what peas do. Do peas really dance? I honestly don't think I want to see that. That's actually not bad. You want to take a sip? Anyone want a sip? It's actually pretty good. Yeah, do peas really dance? I honestly don't think I want to see that. That's actually not bad. You want to take a sip?
Starting point is 01:20:25 Anyone want a sip? No. It's actually pretty good. Yeah, give me a sip. You need a palate cleanse. You need something. Gabe, you want an Oreo? It's pretty good.
Starting point is 01:20:35 No, it just tastes like a banana coffee. How much butter are you going to use, Nick? How much should I use? You should actually taste a little of the potato. It's not that bad, right? Half of it. No, this isn't bad. Cut the banana with the lollipop. The potato doesn't taste a lot. It of the potato. It's not that bad, right? Half of it. No, this isn't bad. Cut the banana with the lollipop.
Starting point is 01:20:45 Because the potato doesn't taste a lot. It's not crazy. It's not going crazy in there. Cut the butter, yeah, with the lollipop. Gross. Didn't we have a knife? Oh, my God. Oh, touching raw handing butter is. Didn't we have a knife? Oh my god Oh touching
Starting point is 01:21:08 Raw handing butter is Absolutely foul It's so foul With the wood With the wood You're gonna get splinters in your ass You're gonna get all splintered up brother Now that's nice That was a nice pour You're going to get all splintered up, brother.
Starting point is 01:21:27 Now that's nice. That was a nice pour, too. Sunny D might also save it. Remember, make sure you save some for Steven. We have a really nice palette going in terms of colors. Yes, very beautiful color palette. What do you have last? I have everything in there. It is a banana.
Starting point is 01:21:43 I actually think you should probably take the wood out because it's not going to blend. See if it blends and then take it out. I have banana, a full lollipop, Sunny D, and butter. Wait, whose is that in the Pocky Pock? KB's. You risk ruining the blender
Starting point is 01:22:01 with the stick. No, no, no. Make sure you only use crushed up ice. It doesn't... The blender... Individual pieces. Yeah, individual pieces. Shay says you risk ruining the blender with the stick. He doesn't know.
Starting point is 01:22:15 Here, cut the lolly off the stick. Just to play it safe. Cut the lolly off the stick. Here. Yeah, that's actually probably a better idea. You got the shot? Ah! Man, we get so many views.
Starting point is 01:22:33 I don't know if we would. We'd have to go on fucking e-bombs. That man bleeds out. That was really good, Nick. It's a sharp knife. That was really good. It's a really sharp knife. Did you have a history of cutting lollipops?
Starting point is 01:22:44 Yeah. That was his job. Nick and Steve actually worked at the same time. Right, I was turning lollipops into hard candy. Because they come in lollipop naturally in nature. Alright, this is going to be good. The butter is actually going to make it delicious. I feel nervous because of how nervous KB is.
Starting point is 01:23:02 I know. I'm not nervous. Why are you changing colors? Oh, wow. Wow. I feel nervous because of how nervous KB is. I know. I'm not nervous. Why are you changing colors? Oh, wow. Look at this color. The candy is really informing the color. Keep going. That's just throw up.
Starting point is 01:23:15 That's throw up color. More ice? Probably more ice. We should call the blender company after this. Yeah, that's a kid that's got, oh, like, that's the stinkiest throw-up you could have. That's like Gravitron throw-up. How is it looking? It looks really gross.
Starting point is 01:23:35 You know what? My smoothie, the aftertaste is a lot of potato. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, what's this taste in my mouth? Oh, yeah, I just drank a potato. Yeah. I'm like, what's this taste in my mouth? Oh, yeah. I just drank a potato. Try mine as a palate cleanser.
Starting point is 01:23:55 I love that this is, I love that this show just, you know, once a month we just go back to like middle school. Like, will you drink this nasty shit, bro? Making potions. Is that delicious? That actually is delicious. Yeah, it is. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:24:13 Oh, my God. No. What's a gas? Motherfuckers eating slime. No. No. I need some. Feast on some gum.
Starting point is 01:24:25 No. Yeah. Toxic sl. Nick. Feast on some gum. No. That did. Yeah. Toxic slug. Nick. Oh, my God. Wait, no. Look at the cup.
Starting point is 01:24:30 It looks like moss. Nick, that did not pour well. Nick, show the cup to the camera. It looks like a. I don't even know how to describe that. Pour it into the camera. Pour it into the camera. Wait, no, no.
Starting point is 01:24:40 Go back. Go back. Because that didn't look. That didn't look. It's not a liquid at all. It wasn't a good pour. Oh! Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:24:50 Broccoli soup. Oh, Jesus. Oh, man. How is that so much worse than the sum of its parts? Right? I think what we're finding – I think we have to read – I think we have to keep doing smoothie drafts because they're actually the greatest equalizer.
Starting point is 01:25:06 Because the butter is all butter. You can draft great items, and when you blend it, it's just not good. That is not a liquid. That's like a foam installation. It's a butter. I think the butter changed. It looks like the inside of a bean bag. Yeah, it looks like it's inside a silica gel package.
Starting point is 01:25:23 It curdled. Yeah, that's a mouse wrist protector. Oh, my God. The separation on that is terrible. If you just projectile vomit it, it would be so funny.
Starting point is 01:25:37 Oh, it's the worst mouth feel of all time. How's the taste, Nick? How's the taste? Have a little salicypring in there. Not bad.
Starting point is 01:25:47 Really? No, it sucks. That texture is shit. This is the worst. It's like... You need to drink it so you can get some of that juice on the bottom. The separation is bad. You know, like that...
Starting point is 01:25:58 What is the bottom? What is different? It's a totally different smoothie. Hold it up more. Look at that. What is that? Ew. It looks like a foamy beer if the beer was green.
Starting point is 01:26:13 Great head on that beer, brother. Somebody else try this because it is the strangest feel. Get this potato. Swap me. All right. I'll take the sludge. Look at that. It's the strangest doesn't taste bad I feel like we should get some oh yeah look I was gonna say I feel like we should get some sort of rinse out but I guess not yeah take a picture of it before it's candy
Starting point is 01:26:41 well yeah so that's that's what we're but that's what we're learning with these smoothies. It's like there's always one taste that goes ahead of everything else. Well, boy, I ain't doing that. Have you tried mine? Starts with candy, ends with butter. Mine tastes like banana, but then it ends with a potato. No, I think it's all potato. Really? It's all potato. Maybe it's settled. Yeah, the then it ends with a potato. No, I think it's all potato. Really?
Starting point is 01:27:05 It's all potato. Maybe it's settled. Yeah, the potato has risen to the top. That is the weird... Yours is all potato. Holy shit. That is the weirdest looking smoothie ever. Somebody try mine.
Starting point is 01:27:17 Somebody else. I don't want to. I just did. It's a unique feel. It's a great experience. Oh. Ah. Peas.
Starting point is 01:27:23 A lot of peas. A lot of peas. Heavy lot of peas, brother. We're pea heavy on the peas. You might not even need ice. Are those peas frozen? Yeah, you want a little pea heavy. All right, well, that's good. Oh, you just said fuck me.
Starting point is 01:27:36 You just wanted to fuck yourself. Yeah, come on, bro. Now onto the crickets. Sour cream and onion. I'm going to have a cricket. Now onto the crickets. Sour cream and onion. And you get all the residue of mine. Oh, Jesus. The residue is probably the worst part, honestly. Nick's fighting something off right now.
Starting point is 01:28:00 I burped it up and it was just very viscous. It's so buttery. It's so buttery. Yours is so buttery. You put in so much butter, and it all comes off. Oh, look at it, dude. Go touch it. Just go touch the top. Someone clip that, please.
Starting point is 01:28:16 Clip that. Here come the crickets. That's the second bag of crickets. The crickets will give a little protein-y crunch. I think yours is going to be very disgusting. Really? I don't. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:28:30 Look at it. Bloody Mary and chocolate? Oh, my God. I didn't know there was the chocolate. What about the peas and crickets? I know, but I thought it was just Bloody Mary, peas, and crickets. I didn't know there was chocolate. Ew.
Starting point is 01:28:40 Look, Jonathan's going to throw up the whole time. So the peas and crickets are fine, but the chocolate. I think the Bloody Mary mix would have overpowered the peas and crickets. Yeah, no, you're not wrong. But I didn't know the chocolate was in there. Chocolate and Bloody Mary mix are the worst two batches. A lot of Bloody Mary mix, Owen. I feel like that'll give it to.
Starting point is 01:29:00 I would go heavy on the Bloody Mary. Oh, I hate Bloody Mary. Like, if you had me just drink Bloody Mary, I'd probably be sick. I'd love Bloody Mary. Look at that. That's just a unique. Whoa. Virgin ones?
Starting point is 01:29:12 I like, what's it called? I like V8. Splash. All right. You're supposed to drink V8 when you fly. Why? Like something about, I don't know. Air.
Starting point is 01:29:24 Someone just told me that one. I heard that too. Do you do it? Yeah, no. I do do it. I need somebody else to try that right now. I did already. Big Cat will.
Starting point is 01:29:32 It's the Yak with Big Cat. But it tastes like candy right away. It tastes like. You want to change them to the Yak with Nick. Bitch. Why don't you drink it, Sass? I'll change it to the Yak with Sass for a day. Oh, Sass, you still have to blend, right?
Starting point is 01:29:46 That blender might be broken. That would be a shame if it broke right before mine. You need the water to go to the bottom. There it goes. Here it comes. Just wait for it. Just wait for it. Hold it, hold it, hold it.
Starting point is 01:29:57 Oh, my Lord. No, it didn't do it. Did anything happen? I think that's a new color. It needs more Bloody Mary mix. That is a new color. You need more Bloody Mary Mixer, Sam. Is it thick?
Starting point is 01:30:08 How thick is it? Goat milk? No, what? Oh, it is bad. Let me see it. Oh, it's a smoothie. It's so thick. It looks like poop., it's a smoothie. Oh! Let me see. It's so thick.
Starting point is 01:30:27 It looks like poop. Show it to the camera. Show it to the camera. It's our British wing. Oh! Like the colors are refusing to blend. Oh, no! Oh, no! No!
Starting point is 01:30:40 And there's just going to be crickets floating in there. Blend it more. Blend it more. Blend it more. It won't take. I almost just got sick from that. There it goes. Just hold it. Hold it.
Starting point is 01:30:54 Hold it. Hold it. Just hold it for a little. Shay's saying something. Shay's like, you got to. There's not enough liquid to bind it. You got to be patient with her. She's doing her job.
Starting point is 01:31:04 She's doing the best she can. Oh, here he comes. He knows what to do. Stanko. Oh, you motherfucker. Get us right, Stanko. Stanko wants more ice. Come on.
Starting point is 01:31:22 Oh, not enough ice? You want more ice? Oh, that looks worse than it did before, I think. Get some ice. Show the camera. It looks worse. Does it look worse? Why is it jet black?
Starting point is 01:31:36 Shut up. No, it's not, is it? Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, Owen, buddy. Oh, no. That's diarrhea.
Starting point is 01:31:51 You're next, Sass. Sass is next in the blender. Hold on. Pour some for Steve. Pour some for Steve. Now, don't be greedy. Oh, my God. That's like a... No.
Starting point is 01:32:05 That's the shit. Oh, no God. That's like a... No. No. That's the shit. Oh, no, stop. You put that in between bricks. That's, yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:32:21 That is so gross. I cannot imagine something that fucking gross. I cannot believe you have to drink that. You know what we should do? Steve and Chase should have to drink all the smoothies put back in the smoothie. Yeah, let's blend them all. Omega smoothie. Yes.
Starting point is 01:32:41 Hold on. That should be the punishment for the person in last place. Oh, yes. Yes. That's just Owen again. the punishment for the person in last place. Oh, yes, yes. That's just Owen again. No, Stephen. Stephen's right. Stephen will be honest about it. All right, Owen, here we go.
Starting point is 01:32:51 Take a sip. It's going to be KB, I think, because this is literally a toxic poison. As opposed to what kind of poison? A healthy poison. Oh, take a sip. I don't know if you can sip. Lay it on your tongue. You're going to have to chew it.
Starting point is 01:33:07 Yeah. All right. This is the consistency of beef jerky. I'm more worried about how I'm going to get all that out. Wipe it all over your tongue. Paste it on. Am I allowed to close my eyes? Yes.
Starting point is 01:33:17 Yeah, sure. No, you're not. No, you're definitely not. You're definitely not. If he closes his eyes, it only makes his other senses stronger. You have to fuck this thing. Why is he not allowed to close his eyes? I can't watch.
Starting point is 01:33:29 I really want someone to puke. It's not that bad? It's bad. What's the strongest taste? Did you put ice in it? What's the strongest taste? Peace. I think you forgot to.
Starting point is 01:33:45 Boys, I knew it going in. We need to take over. Peace. Owen, you're good. You're good. Owen, did you forget to put ice in it? Owen's going for it. No, it's icy.
Starting point is 01:33:53 Don't do it. You just trying to get a cricket? I'll put ice in it. Not enough. Oh, my God, Owen. All right, Sass. Staring into that bag. Sass is using quite a blend here.
Starting point is 01:34:10 Okay, but I get to pour that out more, right? There's still half of his smoothie in there. I don't know. I mean, you can bang it out. You can do a couple bangs. You can do it a couple bangs. A couple bangs. You can't use any tools to scoop it out.
Starting point is 01:34:24 What are you talking about? We've all played by the same rules. That's the point. Jump it out. Jump it out. That's the point. Bang the side. Okay.
Starting point is 01:34:35 There you go. All right. Now you're done. Now you're done. You're done. Stop. You're done. All right.
Starting point is 01:34:39 Good. That's the point of the draft. Dude, that's the point of the drive. Dude, that's the point of the drive. It's not that bad. Rowan, where'd you get this Sunny D? It's never that bad. I stand.
Starting point is 01:34:58 Okay, this is like a ton of dirt and dust. Someone make a flow chart. Did you just put a lip in? Yeah. What? What? What? What? What? Someone needs to make a flow chart of sass where his initial reaction is, dude, no way. And then he slowly gets to, you know what?
Starting point is 01:35:16 This isn't that bad. Yeah. Every time. Someone definitely needs to do that. Well, someone will. And I'm going to tweet it. You want to touch it? Oh, you fucker. Dude.
Starting point is 01:35:29 I felt like I was going to throw up from watching Owen drink his. Yeah. Owen has so little emotion ever. He is a perfect poker face guy, but. How are you feeling, Owen? Sass, you can put this in there instead of the foam. That's Donald Trump. Send a message.
Starting point is 01:35:44 Bro, yo, dude. It's all those righties's Donald Trump. Send a message. Kathy Griffin, send a message. What would Dylan say? Dylan would be pissed. The Oreos are big for you. Huge. Yeah, Oreos are huge. Put the foam in. I'm not that worried about this. I don't think it's that bad.
Starting point is 01:36:05 Kyle, are you good? Yes, I'm good. Let about this I got a taste No I don't think it's that bad Kyle are you good? Yes I'm good Alright let's fucking watch this guy You're like concerned No I'm not I'm concerned about Kyle I'm gonna have to check in with Kyle later tonight It's like when someone gets a concussion You're gonna like
Starting point is 01:36:17 Half assed check in Yeah Check it in If you need anything let me know And then you're gonna flame him on the radio For a week after Who's he done that to? His lungs.
Starting point is 01:36:26 When his lungs punctured. When he died. I was sympathetic, but then you had nothing. The doctor was like, you're a pussy. You were like, you're going to the doctor. Sass, are you shaking? No. That's like when Brandon had to go to the doctor for dehydration.
Starting point is 01:36:43 He was thirsty. Aw. Okay, banana chips? That's like when Brandon had to go to the doctor for dehydration. He was thirsty. Aw. Okay, banana chips? Put in a little funfetti. Or confetti. Put in a little ticker tape. For fun.
Starting point is 01:36:56 For some color. For our listeners. It's all about presentation. He does have a foam ball. I want to see how the ticker tape will make it look. Do it for the podcast. Those are delicious. Those are delicious. The foam ball's not
Starting point is 01:37:09 going to blend, by the way. Maybe. Maybe a little. Maybe a little bit. If it doesn't, then you put the ticker tape in. No, if it doesn't,
Starting point is 01:37:15 then you have to drink your smoothie by sucking on the foam ball. You get the ball and you lick the ball. You put it back on the cone and lick it. Yeah, you put it in your mouth.
Starting point is 01:37:23 Let's actually make him do that. He has to put it on Nick's stick Make sure the ice is really broken up, Sass I got the mouth sweats Ew The mouth sweats Mouth sweats I know what he's talking about
Starting point is 01:37:38 Dude, I just almost gagged on the amount of phlegm that this is creating in my body Get yours away This is a solid And a liquid though, but they're just separated We got chia pet maybe the amount of phlegm that this is creating in my body. Get yours away. This is a solid. And a liquid though but they're just separated. We got chia pet maybe? Yeah. I want to just
Starting point is 01:37:52 scoop and squeeze. No more Oreos. You've had enough. You've had enough Oreos. I can put as many Oreos as I want. You want to scoop and squeeze? Can you throw me
Starting point is 01:38:00 the paper towels? I'll scoop and squeeze it. Scoop and squeeze that. Sas, can you throw me the paper towels? He wants to scoop and squeeze.. Scoop and squeeze that. Sas, can you throw me the paper towels? He wants to scoop and squeeze. Oh, my lord. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:38:10 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Sideways. Yeah. Ugh. Holy. Oh. Oh. It's black.
Starting point is 01:38:29 Oh, no. That is not good. That's like a charcoal. It's the Oreos. It's working. It's the foam ball. The foam ball is blended. Okay, now you're blending.
Starting point is 01:38:41 Yeah, now you're cooking. It's got a lot of power. Do that into the camera. Where's the foam ball? Is it in there? Is it blended? It didn't take. There's no way it took.
Starting point is 01:38:57 There's no way. It's probably floating on the top. Jam it down. There's nobody watching. I just realized. Actually, we have a lot of 6,000 people watching right now. Where's the ball? To everyone.
Starting point is 01:39:07 That texture is tough. Is the ball in there? Yeah, it's not. Jam it down with the thing. It's not. There's a sword. There's a little sword. Use the sword.
Starting point is 01:39:15 Jam it down. Fish around for the ball and then just start sucking on it. Suck the ball. Yep, use that. Yeah. Yeah. Feel the ball? Feel the ball. Okay, all right. Then we're good to go. Then we're good to go. The ball's gone. Yep, use that. Yeah. Yeah. Feel the ball? Feel the ball.
Starting point is 01:39:26 Okay, all right, then we're good to go. Then we're good to go. It's disintegrated. Oh, you will taste the ball. The ball is gone. Make no mistake about it. You'll taste it. Or blend real quick.
Starting point is 01:39:37 You won't see it. Yeah. Or feel it. Another show that we did that's just not conducive to podcasting Yeah Driving to work just listening to a blunder I love this show Let's not put this one up as a podcast
Starting point is 01:39:55 We need to go back to just doing best ofs We should do that That's the way to do it Yeah I think that would be smart I think putting this one up as a podcast I think the people would like this as a podcast. I think that they would. Sensory audio.
Starting point is 01:40:09 Suspension of belief. Yeah. They'd probably picture something that's funnier and better than what it is. Yeah. Because these are actually delicious. All of these are very good. All right, here we go, Sass. Describe the hue, KB.
Starting point is 01:40:20 What hue is that? Is that the rainbow charcoal? The top texture is really bad. Let's see it. Pour it out. Oh, no. What hue is that? Rainbow charcoal. Let's see it. Pour it out. It's like trash in the ocean. I saw one of the ball. A little of the ball.
Starting point is 01:40:36 Where'd it go? Where's that ball? It's so susceptible to blending. I want to see the ball. What is this texture at the top? Ball. That is see the ball. Oh, man. What is this texture at the top? Ball. That is 100% ball. It's like foam in the ocean. Yeah, that's right.
Starting point is 01:40:50 It was a foam ball. That's exactly what it was. Pour it out for Steven. Pour it out for Steven. Let me see. Let me see. Yeah. Oh, that's ball.
Starting point is 01:41:03 That's hairy ball. I don't even think I could spill this. I think I could do a... It's a ball. That's a hairy ball. I don't even think I could spill this. I think I could do a... It's a blizzard. I could do a... I could do a... A DQ blizzard upside down. All right, so he's going to try this one,
Starting point is 01:41:14 and then Steven's going to come in and try them all, and then we're going to blend them all for the loser. Oh, no. Sass, is there a ball in there? There's no ball. All right, here we go. Sass, take a sip. It there? There's no ball. Alright, here we go. Sass, take a sip. It was a magic trick the entire time.
Starting point is 01:41:32 Let's see a picture. It's just going to taste like straight Oreo. Alright, so don't complain. There's only two that are similar in hue. Sass, how is she? How is it, Sass? How is it? Talk to us. similar in hue. Mine has settled. How is she? How is it, Sass?
Starting point is 01:41:48 How is it? Talk to us. Talk to us. For the pod. For the pod listeners. I would imagine it's Oreo. Is Oreo the strongest? You can taste the ball.
Starting point is 01:41:58 Really? Oh. Take another sip. One more sip. What's the aftertaste? Is it Oreo is the strongest or no? Take another drink. You're still getting a little peas, I think.
Starting point is 01:42:12 Probably some peas in there. You taste those peas. All right, give it another sip. It's the peas. One more sip. One more sip. Peas bad. Oh, oh, oh.
Starting point is 01:42:31 I'm just not going to breathe. Why? What? It kills off the taste buds. I beg your pardon? That one wasn't... What? That one wasn't as bad.
Starting point is 01:42:45 I'm getting a heavy, heavy butter taste. My lips feel buttery. Here comes Steven. All right, Che. Steven, he's a professional. He's bringing the water to cleanse. Are you going to go in the order that we went, Steven? Are you just going to go random order?
Starting point is 01:43:05 All right, so How is nobody throwing? You take one sip and then you I think we all know which ones ours are But maybe not Show it to the camera before you sip it And we'll probably be able to tell which one it is Okay
Starting point is 01:43:20 A 1 to 10 rating is exclusively for you All right, so show that to the camera Mike Okay. A 1 to 10 rating is exclusively for you. All right, so show that to the camera. Mike. Nyx, yeah. That's Nyx. It's toxic green. It's like a lime green.
Starting point is 01:43:37 It's very fluorescent almost. A sip of Nyx. You take a bite of mine, actually. All right. Okay. You don't have to take a big sip. He's chewing it. Yeah. Well, yeah.
Starting point is 01:43:49 He has a mouth full of food. Pretty good. Okay, okay. The worst mouth feel baby ever. Talk to the mic. Here, sit down here, Steven. I'll bring him to you. It's very candy forward, though, isn't it, Steven?
Starting point is 01:44:00 It's amazing what that lollipop did. But there's a buttery aftertaste. Let's not neglect the butter. There's literally... I'm wiping butter off of my face. Are you getting the butter, Steven? Yes, very much so. Yeah, I thought so. But that's actually... It kind of enhances the taste. It makes it a little creamier.
Starting point is 01:44:16 It is so chewy. I think you're taking bites. Yes. Chewy is what you want to drink. Alright, so I don't think I lost. That's good. You can't be a loser. They're all going to be bad scores, I think.
Starting point is 01:44:32 But I'm judging off a regular palate. Rose is good. 5.5? Okay, 5.5. Here we go. And then we're going to do this. Put just a little in there. Here, this one's been coagulating for a bit.
Starting point is 01:44:45 Can I scoop this and let's pour the top? Yeah. Okay. Okay, let's get another one for Steven. I believe this is Sass's. Sass's. Yeah, that's me. It's Sass's.
Starting point is 01:45:00 That is Oreo, a couple types of milk, a foam ball. Yeah, tell him. Tell him. Sell him. So there is. So mine contains a lot of Oreos, ice, of course, a little bit of banana. Not too much banana, of course. And then two different types of milk. Of course.
Starting point is 01:45:20 Of course. Okay. Well, this is like strawberry. And also there is a foam ball inside of it. Was. Was. It smells pretty good. It smells pretty good.
Starting point is 01:45:29 What does it smell like? Oreos. Yeah. Completely Oreos. Which is a nice smell. That pea and butter texture. You get hints of the strawberry milk, which is very good.
Starting point is 01:45:41 Yeah. Yes, but. This is the best one so far. You've had two. So far. So far. This is the best one so far. You've had two. There's only one more. This is better than the coagulated butter. You could have said this is the better one. I'd say this is 6.1.
Starting point is 01:45:53 Very nice. The loser is... They're the ones who already had to drink the worst one. Their punishment for drinking the worst. They picked the worst things. It should be the best person. No.
Starting point is 01:46:06 Yeah, I agree. Roan's bitch ass. Shut up, dude. You should have to drink the worst one. Don't fucking do me like this. My tongue is, like, really slippery right now. It's because of the butter, dude. Okay.
Starting point is 01:46:20 I did just get a little chunk of the foam ball. Mine is... Mine is... Does it go down at all? Does it change the score? No, you can't change the score. It's still in your mouth? Steven, what you're drinking out of mine is goat milk, Death Wish coffee, a potato, and a banana.
Starting point is 01:46:37 It's very potato. I'm trying to figure out how to score this because I hate coffee. Well. So I'm judging this. Easily the worst smell. Because it smells like coffee, which you hate. It doesn't even smell like coffee. It just smells like suey.
Starting point is 01:46:52 Potato coffee. Oh, no. Okay. You're still optimistic. Okay. That's really bad. It's not even really the coffee. It's very potatoey.
Starting point is 01:47:07 Very potatoey. I don't think mine sat well. It doesn't travel well. The potato doesn't hold. Oh, the aftertaste is worse than the actual taste. Didn't you say the aftertaste was extra potatoey? Yes. 2.2.
Starting point is 01:47:21 Oh, no. Oh, no. No. Okay, this is Oh, no. No. No. Not bad. Okay, this is Rome's. I think you're going to like this, Stephen. What I'm presenting is a full confetti mini cake, which I took the top layer of and paired with some cornbread.
Starting point is 01:47:36 Underneath it, there were some raspberries, a nice bit of ice, some anti-diarrhea medicine, and a seltzer, A nice seltzer water. If you're tasting a little fizz or foam, that's not a soda bread. That's the seltzer water. So it smells not terrible. There's an enormous ice cube in this. That's going to dock your points. You can avoid that.
Starting point is 01:47:57 You don't have to drink the ice. Just drink the drink. It's just too much. the drink. Oh. It's just too much. There's every flavor possible in this. It's very bad. There's probably like four. I told you what flavors there were. There's actually three because one of them is tonic wine.
Starting point is 01:48:17 Bring that down to a one. I want a one on that. That's got to be a one. You don't like that? Make sure to taste it. Oh, and that second sip was worse than the first. Oh, Che. Che. No, no. Hey, hey, hey.
Starting point is 01:48:32 No, no. Camper him. He already has it in his hand. It's tough to see a man crawling like that. Fuck yes. This one's maybe like a 3.6. You're an idiot. You think that that's that much worse than Nick's? That one's maybe like a 3.6. You're an idiot. You think that that's that much worse than Nick's?
Starting point is 01:48:48 That one's very bad. What the fuck are you talking about? Nick's is absolutely better than that one. Try this, Nick. Gladly. Alright. KB's. Alright.
Starting point is 01:49:02 This one. I would order this off of a menu. This is good. It's just good That might be mine Wait this is yours? Oh yeah KB are you orange? Yeah I'm orange Have you tried Rones?
Starting point is 01:49:14 Yeah Very good It's good So how is mine getting a 3.7 When it's fucking How is mine a 2.2 I had all edible things And he had a piece of ball in his mouth It's still winning How is mine a 2.2? I had all edible things. Mine is very –
Starting point is 01:49:25 And he had a piece of ball in his mouth. It's still winning. He had a piece of ball and he's like 5.5. It's in first place. I gave the score before I realized the ball was fully there. Steven, we're working with a base layer of peas and then sour cream and onion crickets topped with Bloody Mary mix. Oh, I didn't realize those were flavored crickets. I think it was a bacon.
Starting point is 01:49:45 It isn't there, right? Cheddar bacon crickets as well, and then hot chocolate powder. Two flavors of crickets. Yeah. Okay. All right. This looks the most like poop out of everything by a mile. That's a weird grading scale.
Starting point is 01:49:58 I didn't know we were doing that. Yeah, miles from poop. You've won most poop. Closest to poop geographically. This looks the most like poop by a mile. It smells like old grass clippings, which is very bad. Okay. Big guy, you're nervous right now.
Starting point is 01:50:22 I think I lost. If you give it in the ones, I will kill myself. Oh, maybe not. This is the worst. Yes! Wow, what a relief. This is shocking. What do you taste, Che?
Starting point is 01:50:39 0.9. Oh my. You'll like mine. Yours could actually harm a person I will have I would inject silly string into my mouth to get the taste out of it I have some silly string right here actually That I'm opening
Starting point is 01:50:52 Last but not least That is KB's Alright what do we got here We got mango. You want me to top it off? Heavy mango. Heavy mango, jalapeno, sauerkraut.
Starting point is 01:51:10 Jay, he needs to top it off. Silly string and monster energy. A little silly string on the top, sir? Sure. Oh, Ron. Oh, 0.0, baby. Wow, donut bagel. Wow, Ron, feel good? Oh, 0.0. 0.0. Wow. Donut bagel.
Starting point is 01:51:28 Wow, Rowan. Feel good? Ooh, this smells terrible. Everyone's like, do it, do it, do it. Okay. So I thought it really smelled terrible. And it's really just this. It's only sauerkraut you can smell.
Starting point is 01:51:41 That's very shocking. It tastes heavy mango. It tastes good at first Oh no You hate it It's not worse than Owen's This is probably like a 3.9 Was that the last one? Yeah it's the last one Wait you said that was better than mine?
Starting point is 01:52:05 Yeah it was better than yours. Yours was terrible. No, it wasn't. It was legitimately good. All right. Try it again, Steven. Try mine again. Try the original one.
Starting point is 01:52:19 A 3.9. And we're going to blend them all together. Today is a day unlike any other. Oh, yeah. This is good. I will create a drink that competes with my brothers. A choice of ingredients I will take and combine them all into one perfect shake. A shake of apples or ice cream or even some mint.
Starting point is 01:52:45 A drink that may hurt us like if we were in Flint. And as the day comes to an end, I will look back and smile. When I think of its blend, thanks to this smoothie man who we pay our respects. We look to him
Starting point is 01:53:01 arms crossed as we say 10x. 10x. 10x. 10x, Owen. Let's get it, brother. 10 fucking x. Where is it? It's right next to it. This one? Yeah. I'm confused. It was what was just happening there. Don't spill that, brother.
Starting point is 01:53:20 It can't be worse than what you just ate. It has what he just ate in it. It is 100% worse than whatever he just ate. It's got older butter. The butter was so bad. Double processed foam. Don't drink too much, Owen. Down the hatch. Finish it, Owen.
Starting point is 01:53:41 What are you doing? Stop it, Owen. Stop it, Owen. Stop it, Owen. What are you doing? Stop it, Owen. Stop it, Owen. Stop it, Owen. Oh, my goodness. Please. No. No.
Starting point is 01:53:50 No. No. Stop it. Owen, why? Why? Why did you do that? Why? Why?
Starting point is 01:54:07 Oh, my God. Oh, man. That's the show. Great job. Great show. Great show, everybody. Great show, everybody. Good job, everyone.
Starting point is 01:54:14 Thank you for tuning in for Smoothie Day. We will do this again. Smoothie Day was a success. And next time, we've got to get Brandon here. Remember him? No. All right. We'll see everyone on Monday Holy shit What a show
Starting point is 01:54:29 What a show Everyone have a good weekend you Thank you.

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