The Yak - The Yak Smoothie Draft
Episode Date: July 19, 2021Enjoy as we describe the look of the smoothies in great detail.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more..., visit barstool.link/barstoolyak
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the act It's the act
Yeah, it's time to stock shop
We're doing Yankees, obviously, yeah
Alright, it's time
You're probably wondering why KB's late
You're probably wondering why I'm the swaggiest
What the fuck?
Why I'm the swaggiest boy in the world right now
Yes, what is that?
Who are you wearing?
Oh, it's Paul's beachwear
Are you serious? What the fuck wearing? Oh, it's Paul's beach wear. Are you serious?
What the fuck?
God damn, that looks good.
I thought it was just shirts.
Guess I didn't get any.
Yeah.
I paid for mine.
Really?
No.
Of course not.
Bro, this face?
Don't pay for shit.
Look how thin it makes you look.
Ah, no, that's actually because I have decided
to try anorexia. Is it working?
It has been working for a few
days. Eating disorders.
It's this fad diet where you just
don't eat. How do people
fail at that? What do you mean?
They die. They die. No, I think that they
also eat. Yeah. But they also
just die. Just keep stopping.
I think your whole organs disintegrate.
Keep stopping?
Your whole organs. Your whole
organs. God wants
us to eat. That's why food tastes good.
Sash, you got a shout out last
night? I did. From Tim Dillon who
doesn't follow you on Instagram? Stanko!
Stanko!
Stanko!
He goes pants off!
He goes pants off!
No, no, no. fucker. Show us your butt. Show us your butt.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Stanko.
Oh, my God.
He's so much better than Colby ever was.
Okay.
Can we kick Colby out of the group chat?
Yeah, for Stanko, for Stanko, for Stanko.
It's smoothie day.
Yeah.
I have a confession to make.
So I had a little thing this morning.
Not a thing.
It was just my son's nanny called in sick, so I was running around all morning parenting.
All of my ingredients are from my kitchen.
Fair.
I think you could have even gotten away with that.
I don't even think that. I just wanted to come clean.
I didn't want anyone to be like, dude, you didn't even try.
Which kitchen?
Because you have two, right?
Yeah, three.
Well, it's one of those, you know,
you get the kitchen upstairs.
You walk to the kitchen.
Yeah, yeah.
Into the guest house.
You're not even counting the guest house.
The elevator just for food.
Yeah.
Fucking dumb waiter.
Do you have a vending machine in your apartment?
Four.
Four vending machines.
Four.
Dion...
One's for champagne. Oh, yeah. Dion does have a vending machine at his apartment? Four. Four vending machines. Four. Dion. One's for champagne.
Oh, yeah.
Dion does have a vending machine at his house.
Yeah.
But he's, yeah.
I don't know why.
Does he have to pay?
He has to insert money every time.
Yeah, and someone else gets it.
Grab the snacks.
No.
Yeah, it's something I would rather not do.
I argue that having a vending machine is a poor move.
It's like you're forcing yourself to ration.
True.
Is Dion broke? Yes, he is. Fuck. All It's like you're forcing yourself to ration. True. Is Dion broke?
Yes, he is.
Fuck.
All right, boys, I already see an error.
It's not fruit exclusive, right?
No, it's fruit or vegetables.
Or vegetables.
Oh, okay.
So I wish I knew that.
Why?
Well, if you listened.
I read the text when I was at the store.
It says fruit.
Or vegetables.
Or vegetables on the text.
So you're fucked.
It's on the text.
It says or vegetables.
Does it?
Oh.
Should we just go ahead and reveal our fruits or vegetables now?
It says one fruit.
Should we make this official?
Yeah, let's do the creed.
And let's also give a tip of the hat to Owen for hustling all over the city.
I spent $400 this morning on ice alone.
Oh, no.
We have a lot of ice.
Ice is the curse.
There was a miscommunication there.
We have too much ice.
So Stephen texted me individually and said,
make sure to get seven pounds of ice.
And then I grabbed a couple interns and we got seven bags,
but they're seven pounds each.
So we got 49 pounds of ice.
49 pounds of ice.
That's like sashing bench press, I think.
49 pounds of ice.
Not even close.
Let's try, though. Who needs ice the most?
Go pour a bag out in the hallway From a charitable stand
I would say right now dogs
Dogs laying on ice
Dogs that are very hot outside
Go dump a bag of ice on a dog
They'll love that
That would be good
Shall we creed?
I'm just like a sleeping homeless man
Alright here we go That would be good. Shall we creed? I'm just like a sleeping homeless man. Yeah, we should creed.
Let's take this creed. It's real hot out today.
All right, here we go.
Three, two, one.
The Smoothie Man's Creed.
Today is a day unlike any other.
I will create a drink that competes with my brothers.
A choice of ingredients I will take and combine
them all into one perfect
shake. A shake of
apples or
ice cream or
even some mint. A drink
that may hurt us like if we were
in Flint. And as
the day has come to an
end, I will look back and smile
when I look thick of this blend.
Thanks to the smoothie man whom we pay our respects, we look to him, arms crossed, as we say, 10x.
10x.
10x to the smoothie man.
Did you write that, Nick?
Yeah.
That was good.
That was foretold.
I copied it from online.
Somebody else had it written.
10x. It was like a template. They just coincidentally had 10x at the end.
I just googled Smoothieman's Creed.
The stealing part cracks me up, bro.
So how do we start?
I think we should draft who has to set up the blender.
Oh, all right.
That's good.
That's good.
That's good.
Not it? Not it. Sass, are you going to? I'm not. I, alright. That's good. That's good. That's good. Not it?
Not it. Sass, are you gonna...
I'm not. I can't.
Now it's KB.
That was the fairest way to do it.
We'll do a three hour show if we have to.
That was the fairest way to do it. It was.
Alright, where... Is it in that
box? Right there. What about we get a tech guy?
What about Stanko? I'm pretty sure a blender
you just take it out and plug it in.
So is this a five round draft?
Yeah.
Imagine if it's just in a hundred pieces.
But you also take what position you want to blend?
Oh, yeah.
Should we do that now?
I was going to get multiples, but I couldn't.
Multiple blenders?
Yeah.
I mean, you maxed out your credit card.
The blenders were shockingly expensive.
Do we have cups, or do you have to drink everything in the blender before the next person?
Oh, fuck.
No, no, no.
We definitely have cups.
Cups, cups, cups.
We need to rinse.
All right, so what are we agreeing?
Everyone has to take at least two good sips of their...
Yeah.
Okay.
Two good sips.
Oh, that's a hat with numbers.
Nice. All right, so perfect. Okay, so how many ingredients. Oh, that's a hat with numbers. Nice.
That's...
All right, so perfect.
Okay, so how many ingredients do we need?
Because I got a lot of shit.
Six.
So we need six?
My ingredients smell bad.
No, no, no.
Six of us, four ingredients total.
And then there's also a grab bag.
Yeah.
And anyone can swap it at the end.
I think you can blindly...
We all have one random ingredient.
So I think if you have something you don't like,
you can pick what person's
random ingredient you can want.
That was just the first two rounds?
I'm with you.
After we draft,
you can look at your
final combination and choose to swap.
Who's got extra shit is my question.
I also have extra shit.
We were supposed to. Other than the alternative bag. I also have extra shit. We were supposed to all have extra shit.
No, but we're all...
Other than the mystery ingredients.
Two mystery ingredients and some extra shit.
No, I don't have an extra bag.
I'm talking about extra shit outside of the mystery ingredients.
This is the mystery bag that you can swap for at the end.
Can I put some stuff in that mystery bag?
Yeah, add it right now.
Do you have extra stuff?
Yes, I have extra shit.
So wait, this is a six-round draft.
No, it's a four-round draft.
The swaps are just extra.
It's a four-round draft.
All right, so we need a fruit or vegetable, a liquid, and then one other ingredient.
Can I put some stuff in the mystery bag?
Yeah.
Because I'm trying to figure out how much stuff I have.
You need a fruit or vegetable, a liquid, and then two grab bags.
Two random items.
Oh, fuck, yeah.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Because I don't want anyone to know what's what.
So just keep that.
So this is mystery shit.
That's mystery shit.
You'll keep your mystery shit.
I'll keep my mystery shit.
All right.
This is all mystery.
It's a silly string.
I think actually now that I'm saying it, I think we should do a fifth round where it's
just you pick out of the mystery and that's just out of your smoothie.
It's a smoothie.
It's a smoothie.
It's a smoothie.
It's going to taste good no matter what.
Right.
Exactly.
All smoothies taste good. We have 49 pounds of ice. Yeah. It's a smoothie. It's a smoothie. It's a smoothie. It's going to taste good no matter what. Right, exactly.
All smoothies taste good. We have 49 pounds of ice.
Yeah.
49 pounds of ice.
It's going to mostly be ice.
We're just going to have ice.
So Zah is doing numbers right now.
I think this should be the number to where we pick to see where we want to blend.
Yes.
And then I think the next delivery man that comes in picks our draft order.
Okay.
There's not a lot of people here.
And so what's the strategy behind the order in which we blend?
We want to blend first, obviously.
You want to be sucked first.
You don't clean the blender between the two.
What?
Yeah.
You don't?
No.
No, you never do.
No, you never do.
You never do.
It's like a cast iron.
Oh, yeah.
She is humming.
That scared me. That's like a cast iron. Oh, yeah. She is humming. That scared me.
That's a powerful blender.
We'll have to take this home after.
It's like a jet ski.
We'll still expense it.
It's a Vitamix.
What?
Wait, can we get the blender up on the thing?
Yeah, let the people see it.
Here, use that.
They deserve to see it.
There's another cord right there.
Owen, Owen.
Oh, we're doubling up.
Yeah, there's another power search.
Double up power strips.
Grab that power strip.
Plug it into this power strip.
Yep.
Can you go power strip to power strip?
Oh, you could go to the moon and back.
Why?
What are you talking about?
What are you, an electrician?
Why?
It's all power strips.
Yeah, I'm...
There we go.
Power strip to power strip.
You can't plug that outlet into that outlet.
The whole building went black.
Dude. He flipped it.
I'm going to be on a case of beer to save us.
All right.
We're good to go.
Sound like a NASCAR pit crew.
Okay.
So should we put a computer off there anyway, because we're going to need it.
All right.
So let's pick the order to which we will blend and then we'll figure out.
Out of a hat.
And then we'll reveal our things.
Who's picking first out of the hat?
Owen's picking first out of the hat.
Owen's picking first out of the hat.
Unless he gets one.
Fuck you.
No, Owen's picking last out of the hat.
Yeah, he said unless he gets one. You said unless he gets one. Owen deserves first. Yeah, he does. Fuck you. No, Owen's picking last out of the hat. Yeah, he said unless he gets one.
You said unless he gets one.
Owen deserves first.
Yeah, he does.
He does.
Actually, I'm going to give it to Roan.
I just said you deserve it, and you gave it to Roan?
Thank you, brother.
Appreciate you.
I'll be hanging on to this.
All right, so Owen, pick again.
Yeah, Owen, pick again.
And then it's Nick.
And then just give it to whoever you want to give it to.
Let's just have Owen give it to people.
Give it to Kyle.
Yeah. Oh. Oh, no. Give it to Kyle. Yeah.
Oh, no.
A little mouthy over there, Nick.
Yeah.
Wow.
Six.
Six.
Six of those.
A little mouthy over there, Sass.
That's so stupid.
That's stupid.
And Sass is out.
Sass is going to the store.
I got three.
I got three.
I got three.
I got three.
I got three.
I got three.
I got three.
I got three.
Okay.
Of course, Big Cat gets three.
Three.
You got four.
I feel like I'm a permanent-
Let's go.
If anyone has to pick something-
You get three.
To put me right in the middle because they don't want to be on my bad side, but also
don't want to be sucking up.
Yeah, right. Go, you're just giving it to one to him bad side but also don't want to be on your good side. Sucking up. Yeah, right.
You're just giving it
to one to him.
He's instead
sucking Roan's dick.
Yes.
Yeah.
Which is unsucked.
This is actually,
I don't know,
I think Roan knows this
but this is actually
the first event.
It's the opening ceremonies
of his wedding.
Yeah.
It's like the Ethiopian wedding.
It's a week long.
This is the first event.
Yes, exactly.
Thank you, boys. This is so dumb.. Yes, exactly. Thank you, boys.
This is so dumb.
So I'm going to get everything.
Are you saying my wedding's dumb now?
Oh, dude.
No.
No, you'll probably only just get the thing right before you.
You pour it out.
You don't have to have the liquid that's in there.
You just can't clean it out.
Right.
So chances are you'll probably just have the thing before you.
These rankings are how I feel about you guys.
Okay.
Of course.
You like Rowan more than yourself?
I'm five.
Oh.
Wait, what?
Kyle.
Wait, you gave...
How is Kyle dominating you so bad today?
So bad.
So bad?
So bad.
I'm three, but what...
No, I'll eat it.
We'll never know what number that was. What number could that be? No, I'll eat it. We'll never know what number that was.
What number could that be?
No, I'm two.
He was supposed to set up the blender, then you ended up doing it.
You gave him five.
That's fine.
We'll just fuck over Roan really badly.
So Kyle gets it, too.
All right, so should we unveil our items?
Should we start?
Let's start liquid.
Liquid, okay.
And we'll go Sass.
We'll go counter.
This is just the unveiling.
This is the unveiling.
And we'll present them
to the cube.
Wow.
We'll all stand to the cube.
Sass, let's go.
Sassy.
Sassy.
Is a Ultra Paradise
Monster Energy Drink.
Nice.
We are sponsored by
a different,
much better energy drink.
That's good though.
Why don't you put that
front and center.
Too sunny delights.
Not bad.
Too sunny delights.
That looks like a
first round pick.
I'm not fucking
anybody over.
That's an endangered
taste.
I know.
You can't find these
shit.
One death wish coffee.
What store did you go to?
That would ruin my day if I got that.
Delicious, delicious.
Good to know.
Good to know.
These are the same things.
No, coffee is significantly different.
Than Monster Energy.
He is right.
He's right.
Yeah.
Coffee gives me the shakes so bad.
Completely different base.
Completely different set of ingredients.
Okay.
Boys.
Club soda. Oh. Okay. Boys. Club soda.
Oh.
Ew.
Ew.
Ew.
What the fuck?
Ew.
You're fucking twisted.
Shit.
We got two of them.
Oh, wait a minute.
I have a backup.
Okay.
That's fine.
No, this is mine.
This is just for me to drink.
Oh, okay.
No side sodas.
That's a palate cleanse.
Don't have sides.
Oh, Jesus Christ. Maple whiskey sour.'t have sides. Sides.
Maple whiskey sour.
Yes, sir.
That looks good.
It's not alcoholic.
It's just the mixer.
I didn't want anyone to be bummed out, so I got three different options.
You have to mix them all together.
Yeah.
Either all three or one.
A splash of all three. Yeah.
You have to do a splash of all three.
All right.
Chocolate, vanilla, and banana strawberry.
That's a weird order.
I've never heard of that.
All right, so now we're going fruits.
Should we display these?
Yeah, let's display these.
Crab bags.
Fruits slash veggies.
Crab bags.
It's a good looking spread so far But here's where things get fucky
Okay there are our drinks
We're about to fuck it up
Go ahead fuck it up
He can kind of see my balls
Yes that's the ball chair
That's the beauty of it
You can see every outline
That's why Brandon Walker's been on paid maternity leave.
His balls were seen.
Can I pour a bag of ice on the lobby floor?
Yeah.
No.
Erica's here today.
Jesus Christ.
I'll get to it.
He would not go for that.
He money?
He would not go for that.
All right.
Fruits or vegetables?
Sauce. Sauce. L or vegetables? Sass.
Sass.
E.
Sauce.
Went classy.
Some raspberries.
Raspberry.
I called little Sasquatch
little ass crotch today
walking in.
He did.
So far,
these are not bad smoothies.
Mm-mm.
That coffee is scaring me.
I think this is a...
Mango?
It looks like a mango. And a little pre-sliced if we don't want to cut it up. I think this is a mango. It looks like a mango.
And a little pre-sliced if we don't want to cut it up.
Oh, nice.
A nice mango.
That's like when they put the chicken in the oven on the infomercial and they pull out the...
Yeah, exactly.
It's just out right away.
Very good.
I wanted to jump cut to the chase.
This is another nice item.
All right.
I have a single kind of spoiled banana.
Not all the way spoiled.
That's the best kind for a smoothie.
Really?
Yes.
Oh, that is the smoothie artist.
That banana's old and told, my friend.
I got some dried banana.
Freeze dried banana.
All right, so these are just turning out like normal smoothies so far.
We're just making sick smoothies.
Peas.
Oh, peas.
All right.
Fuck peas.
Interestingly, I was able to afford
three times as many bananas.
Goddamn.
A lot of banana.
Now this is where I think it will get interesting.
The grab bags?
The grab bags.
Are we revealing the grab bags?
I have one mystery.
There's two grab bags.
There's an assortment of grab bags.
So we have two.
So do one at a time.
Grab bags.
Do one at a time.
One at a time.
It'll be more suspenseful.
Wait, but I have three more things in here.
Okay.
Just pull out your first two that you want to showcase.
I'm going to keep one of them and not throw it in the trash.
Okay, that's fine.
You're the worst.
Just take out one of your items.
Just take out an item.
Now.
Okay.
Just take one out now.
This one could be saving some people.
It's going to get interesting.
Put the grab bags, by the way, on the floor so we keep them separate.
So I'm taking out my thing right now.
Jesus Christ.
Just one.
I just don't want to fuck it up.
You are.
How could you fuck it up?
Okay, anti-diarrhea pills.
Oh, yeah.
That'll be good.
That's actually good.
Oh, yeah.
Is this going over there?
Yeah, put it on the ground.
On the ground.
That's our grab bag.
For my next item, I got ticker tape.
Oh, yeah.
Nice ticker tape.
They didn't have exactly ticker tape,
so this is more arcade confetti.
But for the purposes of the draft,
it's ticker tape.
That will taste good.
It's just a sprinkling of ticker tape.
Not too much ticker tape. That'll temper good. That will taste good. It's just a sprinkling of ticker tape. Not too much ticker tape, but just...
That'll temper the dominant tastes.
Yeah, exactly.
I've got a little boy's lollipop.
It is.
A little boy's lollipop.
That is a little, little boy.
That's for a little, little boy.
And it's a sweet, sweet lollipop.
And they're fucking bonnet licking that.
I'm just abandon.
We should keep one item random,
and you have to draft one person's random
item. No, Rowan, we gotta put it, because that's the grab bag.
Gotta go separate.
Uh, wait, will we get confused?
Oh, yeah, you're right, because we have the fruits and
vegetables, yeah, alright. That was
falsely directed, I apologize for that. Way to go,
sass. Everyone's coming to put it on the ground.
Cornbread. Yeah! Alright,
alright. And that looks like a healthy loaf.
Uh-huh. Are there gonna be any bad items? There will be. Sau. All right. All right. And that looks like a healthy loaf. Uh-huh. Are there going to be any bad items?
There will be.
Sauerkraut.
Every time I ask that.
Jalapeno.
I guess ticker tape could be considered bad.
Ticker tape could be, yeah.
I got diarrhea pills.
Olives.
Okay, let's get back.
All right, boys.
Sass.
Someone's going to gag.
Oreos. Someone's going to gag. Oreos.
That's delicious.
Nice.
That is delicious.
Never mind.
Okay.
I have half of yesterday's chicken cutlet sandwich.
Yeah.
So and so.
Okay.
Delicious. And blended,'s chicken cutlet. Okay. Delicious.
And blended, that'll be better.
My next item, people are going to say, hey, dude, that's two items.
But as you can clearly see, it's in a single bag.
It is two loose hot dogs and two pickles.
You got to drop the whole thing together.
You got to blend the bag.
I don't know if it was clear that I just grabbed everything into my refrigerator.
Are those cooked or no?
Have they experienced heat?
They have not experienced any heat.
They've never seen a flame in their life.
They were born in the cold.
I brought a liquid for my grab bag.
This is whole goat's milk.
Okay, so that's a grab bag item.
That is unpasteurized straight is whole goat's milk. Okay, so that's a grab bag item. That's a grab bag goat's milk.
That is unpasteurized
straight from a goat's teat
to your mouth or mine.
Or yours.
Or mine.
Birthday cake.
All right.
Welcome back to Earth.
That with the confetti would be great.
There's some great combinations available.
Three packets of hot chocolate powder. Okay. That might be aetti would be great. There's some great combinations available. And some bad ones. Three packets of hot chocolate powder.
Okay.
All right.
That'll mask taste.
That might be a good one, yeah.
I'm hoping to get it.
That might be a sneaky good pick.
All right, so now...
So now we have to find out how we're going to get the order of the actual draft.
Because we were going to have just the next delivery guy that came in,
but there's been no deliveries.
There was one.
He came and went, as any good delivery man does.
Should we get Frankie to do it?
So that was a no?
No.
Go grab somebody upstairs that you've never talked to, Owen.
No.
All right.
Maybe the hardest thing. Upstairs that you've never talked to, Owen. No. All right. Sass can do it.
Do the hardest thing.
Okay.
Maybe Stephen, can you come up with a radio?
No.
Not Che.
Anything but Che.
Yep, give me a minute.
What did we do last time?
Didn't we do the ages, or is that for something else?
That was ages, yeah.
Oh, we could do that again, Stephen.
What if we all guess it? He gave us triple in sync. He gave us all in sync. Yeah. All right, ages yeah we could do that again Steven what if we all guess it
he gave us triple
in sync
let's do that again
what if we all
guess the time
and whoever's closest
to Dana's chug time
is Dana here today
I would assume so
it's a work day
wow
we know how
this office can get
this office
we know how this office
can get on a flight
okay yeah we'll do
we'll make him chug
one of the milks
cause he's gonna be like
oh I don't chug anymore.
I'm a pussy.
All right, good.
All right, yeah, it's a good call.
All right, I have a number.
Wait, is Dana not here?
No.
Ah, fuck.
Playboy Marty.
Playboy Marty.
Yep.
Let's have him chug it for you.
Yep.
All right, Playboy Marty, you are going to chug.
Why?
I have a weird laugh. I have a weird laugh. You admit that. I'm the weirdest. All right, Playboy Marty, you were going to chug. Why? I have a weird laugh.
I have a weird laugh.
You admit that.
I'm the weirdest.
All right.
What yawn was that sound from?
Are you lactose intolerant?
No, I'm not.
Okay, all right.
I should have said yes, I guess.
Yeah, you should have said yes.
Are you okay with chugging a 14-ounce, is that 14-ounce, 12-ounce Yoo-Hoo?
Nesquik.
Nesquik.
I'd prefer not to, personally.
But that wasn't the question.
Wait, do I get to pick the flavor?
Yeah, you get to pick the flavor.
Chocolate, banana, strawberry, vanilla.
Do I get anything out of it, personally, at all?
You get a free milk.
Satisfaction.
Calcium?
Those are good.
Yeah, protein.
Just got lunch, so I'm going to have to pass on this one.
Satisfaction.
Wow, that's a cute.
All right, your career will ever end.
X marks the spot.
This is your blacklist.
What about eating those donuts?
Will you eat donuts?
I'll eat a couple donuts.
All right, so bring me the donut box.
Let's see how many donuts are in there.
I want the donuts.
I would like a donut as well.
Can we just all eat donuts?
That sounds pretty good.
I wasn't aware.
Savor them, maybe.
How many are in there?
Oh, it looks light.
He's carrying it light.
It's half a donut left.
It's just three. Three donuts? Okay, that's actually perfect. Let me it light. It's half a donut left. It's just three.
Three donuts?
Okay, that's actually perfect.
Let me see them.
Let me see them.
All right, so how long will you eat all three?
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
You can go back to chugging the milk now.
Yeah, you can choose.
Chugging the milk or eating all three?
It's such a small thing of milk.
All right, there we go.
You fucking, come on, man.
I'll have a donut.
Yeah, hand me that sprinkle. Yeah, want to split me one? Somebody split a sprinkle with you. Want to split them in half? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, there we go. You fucking, come on, man. I'll have a donut. Yeah, hand me that sprinkle.
Yeah, want to split me one?
Somebody split him in half?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, don't chug it yet.
Huh?
I have a timer.
No, I don't.
My phone's dead.
Yeah, yeah, that seems fun.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Split it with me.
Don't we all have to guess?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's not going to chug it yet.
Not chugging.
Oh, yeah, if you just chugged it.
Yeah.
You just have to do another.
You're just like, what the fuck? You would have would have to do another all right so everyone's going to guess
a time that it's going to take
what the fuck i feel like there's gonna be a lot of similarities in times choosing yeah but
there'll be one exact time down to the tenth of of a second. Everyone want to write it down?
Do we have a pen?
Everyone can write it down.
Rowan, will you grab me a donut?
We're getting sidetracked by the donuts, guys.
Stop eating the donuts.
This is about the draft.
This is about the smoothies.
Quit it with the donuts.
All right.
Hold on.
Where's Jesus Christ Owen?
Do you have a pen, Owen?
Always.
Do you guys want to just say it?
Yeah, fine. No, because he's saying everyone will? Always. Do you guys want to just say it?
He's saying everyone will copy each other.
Why doesn't everybody just write it down on their phone and then expose their phone?
Like on their calculator or whatever.
Yeah.
Everybody has to use their calculator.
No, that's not going to work.
Everyone just say it. Sash, your first guess.
I'm going to go 6.1 seconds.
Okay. What?
Bro! What? 6.1 seconds. Okay. What? Bro.
What?
4.2 seconds.
To chug that whole thing.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Shh.
Let me look.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
You took your hand off the chest.
It's not too late.
It's not too late.
You can't change it.
Yes, it is.
No, it's not too late.
You can't change it.
Fine.
4.2.
Fuck.
You better fucking house that, Marty.
I'm going to try.
I'm going to try.
What did you say, Zaz?
6-1.
Don't worry about it.
I think he said 6-1.
7-2.
No.
That was my guess.
I think he gets nervous and just drops it on the ground.
And then he's got to lick it up.
Yeah, he's got to lick it up. Yeah, he's got to lap it up.
It would take a while.
I'm going to say.
Are you writing these down, Steven?
Someone?
11.3 seconds.
Yeah.
Sorry, Big Cat, what was yours?
7.2.
Wow.
Bold.
7.3.
You fuck.
You fuck you.
7.4.
Just remember that.
God damn it. Oh, fuck. God, I didn't think about that. You fucking idiot. 7.4. Just remember that in the draft.
God damn it.
Oh, fuck.
God, I didn't think about that.
You fucking idiot.
So what was everybody doing?
Now I'm so idiot.
Now I have to get out.
He has to get 7.3.
I had 6.1.
Wait, wait, wait.
Don't try to get Marty.
I had 4.2.
He had 7.5.
I had 7.5.
Wait, hold on.
Marty doesn't have headphones on.
Tell him to signal to Za when he's ready.
Za has an official stopwatch on his phone.
It's the minute his lips touch.
Yeah, you can open it up, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That doesn't count.
It's Zah.
Start the stopwatch the minute his lips touch.
You guys can see.
Everyone will be able to see the time.
And you've got to pour it upside down so there's no drop.
Oh, wow.
Hell yeah.
Nice.
We're good.
Wait, no, but we want to watch him.
Are the people seeing him?
Yeah, the people should see him.
All right, I'll keep that.
If you give us like two seconds.
Our tech.
That would have been classic.
Just us.
I thought that was the coolest tech movie ever.
That would have been so awesome.
For six seconds, like, wow, that was incredible.
Marty, that was the coolest thing.
All right.
Hold on.
We're trying to put both your screen.
That would be too advanced.
Why don't you just hold up the clock next to his face?
Now, is this for who gets first pick?
Yes, the party will have to chug six milks.
Who gets to pick what they want first?
And then are we doing everyone else's pick?
Four picks, yeah.
The closest four picks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Fuck you guys.
No, fuck Kyle.
He has to get it on the dot.
Or if it's over, he'll be second closest, though.
So it's not that.
I didn't even, yeah.
Shit.
You will not win.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Dude, imagine.
Imagine.
If Kyle wins, we have to put every item on this table into the smoothies,
and we all have to drink an entire cup while Kyle laughs at us.
And the whole show is over.
7.2 on the dots.
7.3.
Don't do that.
7.3 on the dot.
I'm definitely okay in not doing that.
Well, that's...
I got to go to the store.
Sass, has there ever been one time in your life where guys are like,
hey, let's do this, and you're like, that sounds cool?
Has anybody ever called you go with the flow?
Definitely not.
Easygoing sass?
I'm not an easygoing guy.
I don't know about that, guys.
Fuck, I'm crashing from these donuts.
I can't wait for it to not be in the seven-second range.
Bitch.
Yeah.
Is there a holdup here, or could I, like... Oh! Bitch. Yeah.
Is there a holdup here?
Could I, like... Oh, Marty.
Sorry, pal.
Marty's got to get back to work.
What are you doing that's so important?
You just said you had lunch and you were about to crush some donuts.
Yeah, you're right.
I was about to eat lunch, but yeah.
Are you going to Phoenix for tomorrow night?
No, if we had won game four, I probably would have made the one-day trip.
Got it.
No.
Got it.
Why don't we just zoom in on Marty's face, and I'll do a timer next to his head.
Yeah, that could work.
We're going to do a timer reveal once you finish.
I don't know if I can.
Marty, signal to Zah when you're about to start.
Signal to Zah when you're about to start.
I'm going to also keep a timer.
No, Seth, stop.
You're so annoying.
That's true.
On days like today,
you should give yourself a pep talk
like try not to be that guy.
That was going to so clearly be
just an argument for the rest of the day
about your time versus Zod's time.
I just don't know if I trust
Roan's greasy ass fingers.
Zod's got the official.
Roan's just there to do it.
Zod's official time is right there. You can look around.
Turn around.
I'm going to do this.
Wait, what is the signal?
The minute he touches his lips, Zod's starting.
Okay.
Oh my god! Oh! Okay. Oh, my God.
Oh.
7.46.
Oh, my God.
You were so close.
So I win.
So you won.
KB's second.
I'm third.
I had 11 seconds. No, he had 11. That would have been. I'm second. KB's second. I'm third. No, Nick's last. I had 11 seconds.
No, he had 11.
Yeah.
All right.
That would have been.
Oh, man.
Oh, my God.
And he probably.
Marty, thank you.
Another man's clock.
Why was it so good?
Fuck you.
We're about to eat confetti.
Thank you, Marty.
Playoff, Marty.
This vanilla milk is disgusting.
All right.
Official order.
Owen first. KB2, Big Cat three,
Lil Sass four, Roan five, and Nick six.
And this is a snake draft,
so this is deciding the order of our snake draft.
That is right.
So do you want the first pick, Big Cat?
Come on.
Snake draft is fucking, it's worse.
No, I don't want the snake draft, I don't want to say that.
Shut the fuck up, dude.
Shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up.
Pick your pick.
What's your pick?
Oh, I get first pick?
Yeah.
Of what pick you get?
Oh, third.
Interesting.
Quite.
Very good. No swag? It's quiet. Interesting. Quite. Very good.
No swag?
Quite.
First.
So you have last pick also.
Wow.
Yeah, you have last pick.
Wow.
Technically do.
So you're fucked.
First.
You have last pick also.
What's back?
Oh, fuck.
I don't want the sour.
Ever heard of a sneak?
But after the last pick, we go to a random item as well, right?
Wait, so it goes once?
Yeah, so that will be added to it.
Yeah, I'm going to go with...
Can I change?
No, no, no.
Take your finger off the chess piece.
Can't change.
Nah.
I don't even know why I'm putting my fingers on her nose.
All right. I'm putting my fingers on my nose. All right.
I'm up.
I'm going to go with the fifth pick.
Jesus Christ.
Yikes.
Sloppy.
Yikes.
Yeah, you're having sauerkraut.
Fifth pick.
We should get Cullets. Sass, you're next sauerkraut. Fifth pick. We should get Cullets.
Sash, you're next.
Oh, okay.
What's left?
So one, five.
No, I'm saying what's taken.
One, five.
All even numbers are available.
All even numbers are available.
Do you know what an even number is, bro?
A little four.
Oh!
That was a mistake.
I love this.
Every pick we take.
That was stupid.
And the thing is, we're just going to yet.
None of this matters.
Ever.
I'm going to go two.
So that gives me.
Oh!
Are you sure about that?
Six.
You have six.
I have the six pick.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
So I guess we begin.
Shall we commence? Oh, we should probably say the Creed. Yeah, yeah. All right. So I guess we begin. Shall we commence?
Oh, we should probably say the Creed.
Yeah, we should say the Creed once more.
Do we have to choose a liquid first?
No.
No, anything.
Anything?
Yep.
Oh, really?
That makes sense, I guess.
What?
No, don't worry about it, bro.
What did you say?
Don't worry about it a little, bro.
Where's O'Day?
Can you just sing this thing?
We're getting sauerkraut.
Can we get O'Day in here?
TJ, is O'Day over there? Is Tyler O'Day? Can you just sing this thing? We're getting sauerkraut. Can we get O'Day in here? TJ, is O'Day over there?
Is Tyler O'Day over there?
Sing it to maybe the tune of Yankee Doodle Dandy.
Big T can sing as well.
He won't come in here anymore.
So Frank got his first pitch off.
I saw the video.
Right down the middle.
It's a humble hopper.
And then the fight was incredible.
The fight was awesome.
The fact that Frank started a fight.
Frank skipped that like a cricket pitcher.
Bowler.
No O'Day.
No O'Day.
Who can sing?
What about Big T?
What about Big T?
Can you get Big T to sing?
I don't think he...
This is a fight.
Oh, this is the first one.
Big T probably thinks we're just going to show him a dog.
Did we do that?
Yeah, four stars.
He'll never come back in here.
Never, ever.
He's our white whale. Well, Caleb called. Never, ever. He's our white whale.
Well, Caleb called him homophobic.
He's our white whale.
Oh, here he comes.
I love how slow he's...
I'm not saying Frank is slow.
That was deliberate.
He's milking his time.
He's milking his spotlight.
He's enjoying the moment.
Oh, wow.
It was right down the middle.
It bounced into the strike zone.
Big T, can you please sing the Lunchman's Creed for us?
That's not the Lunchman's Creed.
I mean the Smoothie Man's Creed.
Smoothie Man's.
Yep.
What tune would you like to...
It's your dealer's choice.
Whatever tune you would like to sing it to.
Well, I mean, there's...
You gotta... I mean, we got, I don't, this is.
We already said it ourselves.
You want to do it to Rocky Top?
We'll join in with you.
Yeah, that might work.
Or maybe do it to I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman by Spears.
I'm thinking more of a pop tone.
I'm not familiar with that one.
I'm not a girl, not yet a woman.
Something like that.
Today's the day, unlike any other.
Girls just want to have fun?
Do it like an Olivia Rodrigo song.
Come on, girl.
The phone rings.
Livrod's canceled right now.
She made a bad choice.
What'd she do?
She was...
She was preaching.
She shouldn't have been.
Someone pull up a dog dick real quick so we can show it to people.
She brought Jesus into it.
Rocky Top is a good one.
Okay, all right, all right.
What's the tune of Rocky Top?
I don't know.
All right, so.
Today is a day unlike any other.
I will create a drink that competes with my brother's choice of ingredients I will take.
And combine them all into one perfect shake, a shake of apples, ice cream, or some mint.
A drink that may hurt us like if we were in Flint, Michigan.
And as the day has come to an end, I will look back and smile.
When I think of its blend, thanks to the smoothie man who we pay our respects.
We look to him as we say Ten
Thank you, Big T.
That was Smoothie Man's Creed.
We should have done a song that had a rhyme scheme.
Yeah.
Well, we kind of fit it in.
That was great.
We worked it in.
Rocky Top will always be home to me.
Flint, Michigan.
Yeah, that was a nice little twist.
I wish you would have given us a heads up.
That's not what you meant.
He just sprung that on us a little bit.
All right.
Flint and steel.
I was talking about sharpening a blade.
Shall we start?
Yes.
I suppose so.
And so you have to take one fruit, one drink, and then two grab bags.
But not in any order.
You can pick whatever you want.
Two grab bags?
Two grab bags.
Yes.
We have enough for two grab bags?
Yes.
What the fuck are you talking about?
We've all put four things in.
Yo, sidebar real quick.
How the fuck do you deal with this guy?
You would not believe our chemistry in the studio.
The John Krasinski, Ted Krasinski thing was very funny.
Son of a boy dad goes to Scribe right now.
Also, The Yak, leave us a nice review on the podcast.
Mango!
Take the actual mango, too.
Take the full one.
Are you okay?
Something's wrong with your palate, brother.
Kwame Brown.
Should we call your parents?
Bad pick.
Horrendous pick, Nick.
I agree, Big Cat.
Thanks, Nick. All the fruits are fine.
Why would you take a fruit first?
Yeah, all the fruits are fine.
There's vegetables.
There's one vegetable.
It's peas. You brought it.
Five.
And then wait, Che gets the...
What does Che get? Wow, Roan.
I wanted birthday cake.
Fantastic pick, Roan.
Good pick, Roan. Thanks, boys.
You see what the fucking...
Yeah, hot dogs and...
That's good.
Hot dogs and pickles.
You don't need to do this.
What is that?
No!
The chocolate Swiss Miss?
No, you're not getting away with dessert.
That's been your draft tactic every single draft.
No, not the first one.
Dickhead.
I stole it from someone else the first time.
No, I think it's...
I'm four, aren't I?
Yep, and three people went,
oh, wow, I'm going to explode.
All right.
It's hard.
It's hard.
This is my fucking mind.
This is really hard to do.
His attention just goes in and out.
Jesus.
He's standing right in front of the camera.
Every camera, too.
I don't know how you're in front of all the cameras.
He's concave.
So, what do the hot dogs look like?
Oh, my God.
Just pick it.
That's a grab bag.
Grab bag.
It's fruits, drinks, or grab bag.
So, if it's not a fruit or a drink, it's probably a grab bag.
Unless it's the goat milk.
Correct.
All right.
I'm going to go bananas. You have to take the strawberries. You have to take all three milks. There are two goat milk. Correct.
Bananas.
You have to take all three milks. There are two milks now.
That's your liquid, so now you can't take any more
liquid unless it's the goat milk.
I guess I don't need to explain myself.
No, you can.
I think getting a bad
liquid would be the worst part.
There's a lot of good liquids.
I disagree. I think that the liquid can almost... I think it's the worst part. There's a lot of good liquid. That's the base of the... Yeah, but unless you get that I disagree. I think that the liquid can almost...
Okay. I think it's the least
important. I'm gonna go.
Say that until you have the whiskey sour mix.
It looks expensive.
No, you're not allowed to take the donuts, big cat.
Goat milk?
What?
So he's going to get double liquid.
You instantly regretted that.
Double liquid.
I love it.
I love it.
I love it.
Love it.
Love it.
Is goat milk bad?
No, it's good.
But that goat milk is bad.
It's better than mule's milk.
Mules can't produce milk.
Actually, I'm making that up.
They do? I have no idea
Mules milk has a mouth
Raspberries are a fruit
Correct
I think they're a fruit
I ate two picks in a row
Yeah
Two picks for Nick
That's a fact
He's got two sunny delights
First picks Oh good calls off Two picks for Nick. That's a fact. He's got two Sunny Delights.
First picks.
Oh, good call, Zod.
Thank you.
And the little boy's lollipop.
Please note it is my son's lollipop.
You took his son's lollipop?
Who do you think you are?
The Death Wish.
Oh, thank you.
Does he have three liquids?
I have a grab bag and a liquid.
Okay, okay.
That's not even a bad combo either.
Who is for it?
Is that my whole thing planned out? You guys aren't thinking the final product.
I'm going to have problems for my next picks.
So Sass has his liquid chosen.
He needs a fruit or a veggie or a grab bag.
It's going to take a while.
Do you want to go Oreos?
Okay.
Can I have one, please?
No, you may not.
No, no, no.
Fuck.
You guys know I'm on a diet.
Thank you.
That's why you brought the hot dogs.
And Owen is eyeing up the whiskey.
He's got the whiskey sour.
The whiskey sour.
So we're getting low on the drinks.
We have a Monster Energy and a Club Soda left.
And the Monster Energy is not bad.
Okay.
Why are you echoing?
Was the Whiskey Sour a drink, a liquid, or a grab bag?
It's a liquid.
It's a liquid, yeah.
So who doesn't have their liquid?
Kyle and Roan, right?
Kyle and Roan don't have liquids.
Are we short of liquid?
I'm going to take this Club Soda.
I'm going to take this loaf.
That is a grab bag loaf.
That's great.
You got a real ready mix.
There's no reason to pick a liquid at this point.
The thing is, there's no strong flavors in that.
You could get overpowered pretty easy.
That sauerkraut hits.
That sauerkraut's hitting.
Oh, no.
I think I made a mistake.
I think I've made a mistake.
Goat milk first. Goat milk first round pick.
I think I made a mistake.
You go twice now.
I know you want those anti-diarrhea.
Actually, no, I made a mistake.
You're playing out the rest of it in your mind.
I am confidently saying
now I've made a mistake.
Monster and banana.
I'm going monster and
bananas. Freeze dried bananas, not
whole.
Fruit monster, I'm good.
No, you're not.
Roan's might be the sneaky worst one.
Oh yeah, Kyle's is good.
So I'm going to take my fruit right now.
So I'm either between bananas or these really nice raspberries.
Oh, actually, I'm okay.
I think I'm going to take.
I think I'm butt fucked.
I'm going to take the raspberries.
You're going to have to have the peas.
I'm going to have to have the peas.
Like, I was just playing it out.
The fruits is actually the dangerous one because there's one bad one and all the others are bad.
I mean, the olives are bad, too.
That's not a fruit, is it?
Are the olives grab bag or are they a vegetable? Grab bag.
Okay, but I have both my grab bags.
Oh, you need two grab bags. Fuck.
You need two grab bags. Two grab bags.
Oh, fuck. Someone's eating paper.
Anti-diarrheal. Anti-diarrheal.
It's ticker tape. It's actually
ticker tape. Oh, wait. Wasn't I
supposed to go? Oh, no. Yeah, it's me.
That was your fault. I said it's you You said it in the most
You said it in the most questioning way possible
Whatever
Shut up
He needs a fruit and a grab bag
That ticker tape looks
Decent
The olives
The half sandwich
The kraut and the ticker tape It looks decent. It's colorful. The grab bags. The olives. The half sandwich. Yep.
The kraut and the ticker tape.
Yep.
Just no bananas, no peas.
You got to think about the aesthetics of your drink, too.
Take the hot dogs.
Yeah, that's why I took the raspberries for just to go with the ticker tape.
Okay, you're going to eat a mouthful of paper.
So what Sass just did for people who are following at home,
what Sass did was just make the biggest mistake of the draft.
That was the biggest mistake.
How much paper do we have to put in?
The whole of it.
But here's what he doesn't realize.
Here's what he doesn't realize.
My next pick is bananas.
Wait, there's one banana left.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You also will be picking bananas.
I'll be picking bananas as well.
You can't do that.
And I have another pick.
We both have now
Picked our bananas
And now Sass is gonna
Have to have the peas
I know I knew that
Going into it
I'm going grab the peas
And tick her teeth
Wait I have to get
One more grab bag
One more grab bag
Wait are we short on fruit
I don't have a fruit yet
Oh you're fucked
No I'm good
What's your grab bag
I have goat milk
Wait what's the other fruit
Out there
Sauerkraut
Was olive oil
Hot dog and pitbull
Peas No but Sass doesn't have a fruit I don't have a fruit either We're short on a fruit I have goat milk. Wait, what's the other fruit out there? Sauerkraut. Was olive oil? Hot dog and pit bull.
Peas.
No, but Sass doesn't have a fruit.
I don't have a fruit either.
We're short on a fruit.
No, fruit or vegetable.
Peas is the last vegetable.
Olives.
Olives, no?
Oh, so then it would have to be olives.
Oh, olives was my grab bag.
What's the fruit?
What's everybody's fruit?
Banana.
Banana.
Oh.
Oh, are the organic bananas a grab bag or a fruit? That's my fruit.
Oh, that's a fruit.
Cheater. Cheater. You have? That's a fruit. Cheater.
You have to give up your pick.
You have to eat human shit.
You have to trade that in for sauerkraut.
No.
I can do mystery bag.
You know what the mystery bag is.
You just took two fruits.
When did you do that?
You fucker.
Put them back. Or let him take that? You fucker. That was his first and second pick. You fucker. Put him back.
Put him back. Or let him take Zah's mystery ingredient.
That has not been revealed.
I have to take my grab bag.
Zah has a mystery ingredient.
You said olives were grab bag? Yes.
You have to take the sauerkraut.
Oh!
Alright, so my next
pick.
You have to take the sauerkraut Those are from the office fridge
They could be
You have to
You fucked up
You brought it
You fucked up bro
You fucked up
No no
These are best by
December 21
Alright I'm fucked
Fuck
Rowan you're up
No I am
I'm feeling good
What
Oh yeah Was it Did you like your cutlet sandwich All right, I'm fucked. Fuck. Rowan, you're up. No, I am. I'm feeling good. What?
Oh, yeah.
Did you like your color sandwich?
So, I just took it yesterday. It was good.
It was delicious.
It's been in my backpack, though.
It hasn't been refrigerated.
It's been in a bag the whole time.
I'm done, right?
Yes.
I'm also done.
I mean, the club soda is mine.
Well, I just took it. I'm second to last pick. We're sending it back. I mean, the club soda is mine. Well, we're sending it back.
I just took olives as my last pick.
So now it's going back.
Right.
So you're five.
I'm deciding between the chicken cutlet sandwich or the hot dogs and pickles.
Wait, am I before or after, Sass?
You're after me?
Yeah.
The peas won't really
have much of a taste.
Yeah, I don't think
they taste...
No, you'll know.
You'll know.
You do have to pour
all of them in, yeah.
As well as the
ticker tape.
All the ticker tape.
And all the sauerkraut.
He's got the
cutlet sandwich.
No, it was in the
backpack.
No, no, no, no.
He never let go of the chess piece. He never let go, no, no. He didn't take his hand off.
He didn't take his hand off.
Didn't realize that part.
So, Sass, that's your fruit, right?
Okay, so I somehow ended up with this.
So, aside from the ticker tape, I've got a pretty solid smoothie.
That's mine.
I have the worst one by far.
Oh, no's KB. I have the worst one by far. Oh, no, KB.
All right, so now do we do our mystery item?
And we each get our own seven-pound bag of ice.
Yes.
Roan, you took my phone, didn't you?
No, I didn't take your phone.
We've been on tape the entire time.
So I have the – what blend do I have?
I'm the fourth blender.
Who's the third blender?
Let's do –
I blend first. Let's do real quick, though.
Let's do real quick.
Who blends third?
I think we should do a draft or we should do another pick of Zah's mystery item and someone has to just get it added to their smoothie.
Zah brought a mystery item?
Zah brought a mystery item.
Well, how many mystery items do we have total?
But I think that Zah's –
Do we have enough for everybody?
Let's just add – someone has to add it.
I have four.
Okay, KB, you can add it. No, no, no.
Yeah, it's the only one you don't know.
I actually do know what it is.
So then you have to take it. I do. I wouldn't mind
it, but I think there should be another method to
see who gets it. I actually... This
would probably help my overall
smooth. Are we doing any trades?
Are we doing any trade-ins? No.
I'll trade you the hot dogs and the pickles for anything you want to give me.
Yours sucks.
Coffee and pickles and hot dogs?
No, yours is gross.
I think you need to just go.
I'm shocked by what you picked.
I have sauerkraut, a whole sandwich, a monster energy, and mango.
The monster's good.
Mine's flies well. Wait, these go with sauerkraut.
I'm fucking not trading you.
How does Roan win these every single time?
That looks delicious.
I win it fine.
That looks good.
Roan's about to have a watery bread mix.
Yeah, I don't know if he wants.
It's all cake.
I want.
It's going to be sweet.
No, you have to eat paper.
You have ticker tape.
Who cares?
You have to eat a bunch of paper.
Oreos and milk.
You have to eat a bunch of paper.
All right, so what are we doing for Zod's mystery item?
That's good.
I have a better one than Rob.
I have an NSYNC member's age.
Wait, can I trade this just straight up for Zod's mystery item?
Yes, that's fair.
Wait, is that how the crap?
Is that bad?
Yes, do it.
Do it.
Do it, pussy.
Do it.
I'll fucking do it.
Fine, I'll fucking do it.
All right, it's a KB's bag. Actually, you want me to get it? Who's getting it. I'll fucking do it. Fine, I'll fucking do it. It's a KB's bag.
Actually, you want me to get it?
Who's getting it?
It's in the bag.
All right, I want to hear Owen's trade first.
It's got to be grab bag, though.
It's got to still be mystery, right?
You can't trade a liquid or a vegetable.
I will give you peas and whiskey sour for, oh, no, fuck.
I was going to say coffee and the hot dogs,
but the trade clause was I would eat them both raw right now
and not put them in my smoothie.
No deal.
No, no, no.
All right, let's just do some type of contest for Zod's mystery item.
Yeah.
All right.
Can you give us a non-NSYNC member?
Yeah.
Because they're all around the same age.
Let's do the age game.
We're going to do the age game.
So here's how it's going to work.
The person farthest away just has to add Zod's mystery item to their smoothie.
Okay.
Okay.
Let's do it.
You're right.
They're all around the same age.
No boy bands.
No boy bands.
No, no, no.
This is totally fair.
The ugliest member of NSYNC, Chris Kirkpatrick.
What is his birthday?
No.
Joey Patone's the ugliest.
Come on.
Just don't do NSYNC.
We're begging you to go in a different direction, and you keep on going the same direction.
Please.
Let's get Mincy in here.
Let's get him to do something.
You see how fast you can eat this banana.
Mincy.
All right.
Guess is.
Will you eat this banana as fast as you can on, okay.
All right.
We're going to guess, though, first.
You don't have to eat the peel. Are you a fast banana eater? Hold on. All right. We're going to guess, though, first. Don't open it. Like the whole process or just like – You don't have to eat the peel.
Yeah, but hold on.
Are you a fast banana eater?
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on because we're going to guess the time.
Over, under on this?
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
Sass?
It's going to more be who's closest.
And are you a fast banana eater?
Oh, are we betting on this?
I'm guessing, yeah.
I've never really done a banana speed run.
Speaking of the mic.
Speaking of the mic.
Here, move the mic closer to the door.
He's an experienced banana eater, I can tell.
I'm really fast at eating crawfish.
Okay.
Okay, perfect.
I'll take that into consideration.
He's getting ready to open the banana from the bottom, which is the fastest way to open.
That's how the apes do it.
Wait, wait, wait.
Okay, wait.
So he's going to eat a banana.
Is peeling it count in the time?
Yeah, exactly.
Do I peel?
I think yes.
I think that makes it more fun.
He has to peel. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Don't do it. We're all going to guess first. Okay, Yeah, exactly. Do I peel? I think yes. I think that makes it more fun. Yes, definitely.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Don't do it.
We're all going to guess first.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm like a sprinter at the starting line.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm going to go...
And does it have to be swallowed?
Yeah.
He's got to eat it.
Decimals include decimals.
That's a normal question.
He's got to show his mouth.
He's got to be like...
All right, I'm going to go 13.5.
I'm going to go 38.6. I'm going to go 38.6.
I'm going to go 29.4.
Wow.
Are you writing these down?
Not a lot of faith in this market.
Someone writing these down?
19.2.
Yeah, you might take a while.
25.
Remember, this is the farthest away has to get Zaz mystery item. All right, Owen? Wozier's 25. Remember, this is the farthest away has to get Zaz Mr. Adam.
All right, Owen.
What was yours?
25.
24.
Five.
Okay.
All right, hold on, hold on.
Zaz, are you ready?
All right.
I'll say 3-2-1.
You're not a lot of faith in me in this market.
You are peeling it from the wrong side.
No, that's the right side.
Watch it.
You pinch and it just falls apart.
No pinching yet.
No pinching yet.
He's not pinching yet.
We have all the times.
Take one hand off.
One hand off.
We have all the times written down.
Three.
Stanko.
You got all the times.
All right.
Three, two, one.
Oh, he started.
Oh, fuck.
A little bit early there.
Oh, let's fucking go
Let's go
Oh he can't chew
Oh my god it's gone
It's gone
Holy shit Vince
Oh my god I got it on the dot
What you actually said
What was the number
What was the number
Oh my god
13.15 So Ro number? Oh my god, 13.15.
So Roan lost.
Oh my god.
Holy shit.
Can we get a replay?
That was fucking incredible.
I did not expect that.
I thought y'all were going hot.
Can we do...
I asked you if you ate fast.
I'm about to go work out.
Can you beat it?
Can you beat it?
Yeah.
No.
Yeah, let's run it back.
Let's see if he can beat it.
Let's run it back.
All right, yeah, see if he can beat it.
All right, give me the other one.
Only for you, Big Cat.
New times.
New times.
Give me the other one.
What I'm puking doing on this corner.
New times.
New times, all right?
No, not new times.
New times.
Let's see if he can beat it.
It's not new times.
I'm saying 12.7. This is simply for the sport of it. Yeah. To see if he can beat it. It's not new times. I'm saying 12.7.
This is simply for the sport of it.
Yeah.
To see if he can, as a man.
I'm going 9.9.
No, there's no new times.
12.7.
I'm going to hate you when I'm doing all this.
No, you're good.
You're not getting cramps.
All right.
Hold on.
I'm going to take a break.
We're going to be potassiumed up.
All right.
Ready, Zah?
Wait, you dropped the other banana.
Mitchie, I asked if you could eat bananas fast, and you handed it hard.
That's incredible.
I asked specifically if you could eat bananas fast, and you acted like you never had a banana peel.
I tried to say it back.
Why did you try to do that?
You fucked me over, Mincy.
Mincy, you've got to beat your other time.
13.1 points.
The bar's been set pretty high on that one, but I'll do it again.
I'm going to say 3, 2, 1 again, and then you're going to go.
Okay.
Three, two, one.
What the fuck?
Come on.
Push.
Ah!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! If only I could gamble half as good as I can eat bananas.
Dude, you're a beast.
You want to go one more?
No.
He's not beating me.
I think it's on you.
I don't want this to sound sus, but I could watch Mincy eat bananas all day long.
You know what?
I will sound sus.
I'm going to entertain you, big hell.
Oh, my God, Mincy.
You're a hero.
All right, have a good workout.
Thank you very much.
I'll probably text you if I'm, like, puking, bitching at you.
Yeah, I'm not going to reply.
Yeah, yeah.
Of course you're not.
Shoot him a text.
But it'll be fine.
There we go.
Love it, Mincy.
Thank you.
What a beast.
Holy fuck.
That was fucking sick.
I'm, like, buzzing off of that.
That was crazy.
All right, Roan, so you get the mystery, Zah's mystery items.
Fuck that.
Oh, it's going to ruin the perfect shake.
I know.
When Big Cat asked if he should trade it and Zah gave him the shake, no.
Roan, you're.
I mean, there's enough to share, right?
It's goat, right?
Is it goat?
No, worse.
It's crickets.
Oh, let's go. It's crickets. That's not bad. Crickets? It's goat, right? Is it goat? No, worse. It's crickets. Oh, let's go.
It's crickets.
That's not bad.
Crickets?
That's actually not bad.
I'll trade you the hot dogs for the crickets.
No, I'll keep the crickets.
All right.
See?
Hot dogs are worse.
I'll trade you the confetti for the crickets.
The confetti would complete the look.
All right.
I'll take the confetti for the crickets.
Wait.
Let me see the confetti.
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
You said I would fucking trade it.
I don't have to. I didn't shake on anything. No, you, no. You said I would fucking trade it. I don't have to.
I didn't shake on anything.
No, you didn't.
You said you would.
I didn't have to shake.
I didn't shake.
You made an offer,
and I took the offer.
He put out a feeler.
You can trade the confetti
for a mystery bag.
I'll trade the crickets for...
No, no, we have to add.
Just add one more item, right?
Is that what the mystery bag is?
Are we doing any trick?
Can you trick?
No, I don't think so.
Yes, we are.
I have a mystery...
Are you trading? Are we trading for the mystery bag or? Are we doing any trick? Can you trick? No, I don't think so. Yes, we are. Are you trading?
Are we trading for the mystery bag or no?
For the crickets?
You can trade any of your items for something from the mystery bag.
Let's do it.
Wait, I'll trade you these for the crickets.
Anti-diarrhea.
Fuck.
He doesn't have the crickets.
Pickles and the hot dogs are the worst.
Yeah, that's bad.
Wait, what?
With milk and coffee.
Oh, I wish I did it.
Go milk and coffee. Ron, can I I did it. Go milk and coffee.
Ron, can I trade one of my items for one of your mystery items?
I don't want to not be able to, like, shit all weekend.
And it would just be out?
What?
Yes, you can trade your...
Ron, you're going to be extra bloated at your wedding.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Fuck, dude.
Bro, you don't want me fucking... When you take those things, it just seals your asshole shut. for your vegetable. Oh, no. Anti-diarrhea pills. Fuck, dude. Bro.
When you take those things,
it just seals your asshole shut.
All right, what are you going to trade for?
I want to get rid of this fucking sandwich.
Okay, the sandwich?
Yeah.
So the sandwich is out for you,
and it's replaced by silly string.
Oh, wait.
That's not edible.
Yeah.
Silly string. I would argue it's not edible.
I'll do that.
I have another silly string.
I'll trade this for the hot.
If you guys will allow me, I will use.
No, I'll do the red silly string, but not the orange.
No, I want the red.
I think the orange would go better with the papaya or with the mango.
No, I want the red.
I'm worried for KP's health with that thing.
Rowan, I meant to include liquids in our draft. In the trade? In the trade, yeah. Oh, that want the red. I'm worried for KP's health with that thing. Rowan, I meant to include liquids in our draft.
Rowan?
In the trade?
Trade, yeah.
Oh, that's just out.
You could just throw it by the wayside.
Wait, what?
Whoa.
He's trading for the grab bag.
Oh, and I want to trade the hot dogs for the grab bag.
All right.
Here's the other silly string.
You brought the hot dog.
Wait, no.
He has my grab bag.
Yeah, his grab bag.
I did bring the hot dogs.
You really don't want those hot dogs.
It was a big mistake.
All right, you'll be getting a potato.
That is so much better.
That's so much better.
Is this a strong blender?
Are there any?
It better be.
It's a fucking raw blender.
It better be.
Are there any liquids in the grab bag?
Yeah.
There's a liquid in the grab bag?
Wait, what's?
Oh, yeah.
How bad is the grab bag right now?
I'm considering trading in olives.
I know.
Owen's trading in...
Also, we forgot, like, there's...
By the way, there's two things.
One is, you know you have to blend the wood, too, on that lollipop.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Yeah, I guess I do.
Two is, do you remember that we all, like, we had the order for blending?
So, if I had the hot dogs, like, someone else was going to eat them anyway.
Who's the number three blender?
I am.
What are you?
Four.
Oh, this was for blender.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, Owen traded his cocktail mix.
Owen's mixer is gone.
He'll be getting a Bloody Mary.
Is it just Bloody Mary mix?
It's Bloody Mary mix
With peas
It's Bloody Mary juice
With peas and what else?
What's the rest of your shit?
Yeah, Owen just has a Bloody Mary
Peas, crickets, Bloody Mary
Peas, crickets, Bloody Mary
That's not that bad
What else is in there?
What else do you have?
What other grab bags?
You got a juice
What was your good pick?
I don't want to do this anymore
What was your first pick?
Alright, Sass You want to trade? No, I'm good Anyone want to do this. What was your first pick? Alright, Sass, you want to
trade? No, I'm good. Anyone want to
trade? Two more items.
I'll trade olives.
Why do you get to
pick? Yeah, I'm confused by that.
Getting your eyes all in there.
He chose to bring the grab bag.
Okay, if they're equal, fuck it.
Butter. Okay, If they're equal, fuck it. Butter.
Okay, that's not bad.
Fuck.
All right, I'll trade the confetti.
I'm trading the confetti.
He's trading confetti.
Here, I got you.
It's for ice cream.
You got a loaf of pumpernickel.
Whoa.
All right.
No, ice cream.
Pumpernickel.
I thought it was my turn.
Oh, yeah, it is your turn.
It is your turn.
So you got ice cream.
Yeah, you have the foam ice cream.
Oh, wait.
I don't.
No, you do. It's my turn. It's my turn. What the hell is cream. Wait, I don't. No, you do.
It's my turn.
What the hell is that?
You can't do that.
You alternate grab bags.
It was my turn.
He had just grab bagged.
He's been going back and forth the whole time.
He had just grab bagged.
So he said, you have the thing, and then Rowan goes, no, you have the foam ice cream.
You alternate the grab bags.
Take the ice cream.
It's just a foam ball.
Yeah, yeah.
You got to take that take that Dude it's foam
That is so strange
It wouldn't be a kid's toy
I would've taken a redo
On my Bloody Mary
It wouldn't be a kid's toy
If you couldn't eat it
I obviously didn't want
A Bloody Mary
But no I'm just confused
That's a great point
That is a great point
Do you want this
Funfetti as a side
I'm gonna get
No no just the foam ball
Just the foam ball
Just the ice cream
Not the cone
Should've just kept The fucking confetti Does anyone want to trade For my silly string I'm going to die from this. No, just the foam ball. Just the ice cream, not the cone.
Should have just kept the fucking confetti.
Does anyone want to trade for my silly string?
You could swap it back for the other string.
I'll trade.
Trade the foam ball. It's red or nothing.
Or the splat ball Trump.
Wait, wait, wait.
Why does Owen have the confetti?
He just ended up with it.
It was just in the discarded pile. He can just have it. I'll trade you. Potato for confetti? No the confetti? He just ended up with it. It was just in the discarded pile.
He can just have it.
I'll trade you potato for confetti?
No, confetti is not his.
I can't trade a boy to him.
It's just side confetti.
All right, let's blend.
So can I?
You can trade.
Can I do that?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That's illegal.
That's not his confetti.
Because it's not your confetti as part of the game.
That's side confetti.
My potato back.
The same way that this splat ball Trump is just a side Splatball
Trump. Here's what we're going to do.
Oh man, we could have got Splatball Trump.
Yeah, that was the other mystery item.
Where did you go?
A party store.
Alright, so
let's blend. When you blend, before
you blend, make sure that you lay everything
out and take a picture of it.
Because Steve and Jay will probably blog it after.
So lay it out, take a picture of it. Because Steve and Jake will probably vlog it after. So lay it out,
take a picture of it, and then blend it, and then take a picture
of the blend. Do we have cups?
Let me go get some cups.
I don't trust what Roan's about to say.
I sure as hell don't either.
None of us trust each other.
Spray big time.
Oh!
You could have fucking broke my my nose dude The fucking week before
My wedding bro
Get fucked bro
I'm getting cut
Straight up got your ass
Don't bring that
Silly string with you
Why not
If you know it's good for you
You won't bring the string
Whose first blend
Whose first blend
It's Sass Relax
What'd you just say, bitch?
Dude, mincey.
I just can't get over it.
Dude, just...
Inhale that fucking...
That was astounding.
Hoover's banana.
The second one, he was, like, doing this to his mouth like it was hot.
I think he was trying to squish it with his fingers.
Oh, okay.
Oh.
Ooh, that sounds good.
She's gonna be broken by the end of this.
Who's the first one up?
Roan?
Roan.
Yeah, Roan always wins these.
I don't know how.
He does.
He's really good at it.
I just always think, I think my first two draft picks are always strong,
and then I just forget that the draft keeps going.
Your first draft pick was goat milk.
Yeah, it was actually good.
It was a grab bag.
Milk is a good thing to have in a smoothie.
But you could have just gotten the actual milk.
No, I couldn't have.
You had taken it before me.
I thought you were before.
No, you don't know.
We could do this draft 100 times.
You still won't know the order.
And I look who has a better smoothie than you, bitch.
You're eating foam.
You are.
I have at least all edible things.
His worst item is a potato.
Open up that goat milk.
I'm going to whiff it.
What is Roan doing?
There's no way it takes as long as the cups.
I don't trust him.
I didn't know the crickets were flavored.
What flavor?
Sour cream and onion and bacon and cheddar.
Oh, that's pretty good.
That's not that bad.
I'm looking at yours, Owen, and I just can't fathom what the thought process was.
I honestly don't think, I think Owen's is not even close to the worst.
Who's got the worst?
Because his is just going to taste like a vegetable.
I have silly string and sauerkraut.
Yeah, yours is just going to taste like a bloody berry.
It's just going to taste like a juice of some sort.
Oh, you have Irish butter, huh?
Yeah.
Actually, Nick's low-key doesn't really go.
Like, Irish butter and banana and orange juice is gross.
Orange juice and banana don't mix.
They don't mix.
At all.
They don't mix.
The word nor butter.
What did he do?
Oh, he's done it again, folks
When he thought that Roan was going to just get regular cups
He went and got clear cups
That's better, yeah
That is nice and measurable
For the pictures
And then I guess we have the sample cups
That we can have people come in here and sample
Okay, Roan, you're up
Roan, you're up
Take a photo
Will it blend?
Oh, let's grab a trash can.
I got it.
Grab a trash can that we can dump out stuff that's blended for the next blendee.
Okay.
That's going to be a very interesting element of this blended portion.
I don't think you need to put the whole thing in.
You put halves of things.
Anyone's going to be fucked. It's not going to fill the cup.
Yeah, right. I'm going to put half of my potato.
You just have to have part of everything.
Why don't we zoom in on Big Cat trying to break a potato over his knee?
You'd be the world's strongest man That was stupid
That was dumb
Alright, Rowan
That looks
Oh, so you want
A cake and a nice
It was a very casual
Yeah, that was dumb
I think that might be too much ice
Yeah, you went overboard on the ice
Pro tip Put the ice in last so it weighs everything down.
Oh, the ice goes in last.
The ice goes in last.
The ice goes in last.
Yeah, that could have been.
This is a mistake.
I just realized how much we're – I'm going to say it right now.
We're all going to clean up together.
Yes.
Owen does not have to do this all himself.
Yeah.
This is by far the messiest thing we've ever done.
You think?
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
All right.
Tell him when he blends it to hold the top down.
Hold the top down.
Chase gatekeeping.
Chase gatekeeping.
Wait, you got the...
Yeah, get that medicine in there.
This reminds me just of it.
Get the medicine.
You got to blend the whole thing.
He does have another ball of a time back there.
I'm a hat that I don't have to drink this shit.
This is the best one by far.
And Che, since you worked at a smoothie restaurant, you are gatekeeping.
Should you taste every one and determine a winner?
Yes.
Yes. Yes. I guess so. and determine a winner? Yes. Yes.
Yes.
I guess so.
That's true.
It's only fair.
Yes.
It's only fair.
Che, you worked at a smoothie place
decades plural ago?
Eight years ago.
A decade and a half.
This shit is too cakey to open this.
Here.
Give me past me the box.
Put the whole thing in.
If you pour like two ounces into each cup, I'll try one.
I'll grade the best one.
All right.
Those are extra strength, too.
Brother, you're not going to be getting anything out of your ass for a while.
En contraire, my friend.
That shit is a portal to hell.
Buckets There it is
Yeah it looks good
It's a little
And we're good
Got QB sneaked at a party
And I didn't shit for three weeks
Okay
Here we go
Yeah this is gonna be
Yeah it's gonna be messy
Yeah it goes
You need the sauce It just sprays Che Get in here How do I fucking work this Here we go. Yeah, this is going to be messy. Yeah, it goes over the sides.
This just sprays.
Jay.
Get in here.
How do I fucking work this?
That goes over the sides.
Oh, thank you, TJ.
Oh, there we go.
We got it.
Oh, hell yeah.
We got it.
Steven, hit the road.
This is what Steven was talking about The ice has to go in last
God, have we ever blended before?
This actually looks good
Yeah, it does look great
He won, he fucking won again
Oh man There it is.
Oh, my.
Drink up.
His is just completely fine. Yeah. Yeah, it is. Oh, my. Drink up. His is just completely fine.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
Fucking foam ball in mine.
I don't know.
I'm worried about KB's.
Ooh.
That's so good.
Holy shit.
What?
How?
How?
That looks incredible.
That was a good one, Sas.
That was a Hall of Fame Sas laugh.
I don't understand how yours just looks like.
He just wins every fucking time.
Wait, you got to pour it out or something, right?
You got to pour it for Che.
Oh, yeah.
We can have an intern come in and make him drink.
Yeah.
The interns are all down at the shore.
They're having an event there tonight.
Yeah, it's meet the bar still inter.
It's intern night at Park House.
Socialize with the bar still inter.
But that's not as much residue
as I thought there would be.
Not too much residue.
It's pretty empty.
There's a decent chunk of residue in there, brother.
I saw the intern riley in the gambling
cave yesterday drop his phone on his face from maybe a full extension of his arm oh wow right
on his face from from doing how he was sitting in the gambling cave just looking at his phone like
this why dropped it why i don't know why would he do full extension i don't know these kids
what's next have you tried it, Roan?
Not yet.
Go ahead and give it a try.
Who's up next?
It's going to be good.
Who's next? Next one.
Get up there.
Oh, and you go after KB, too.
That sucks.
Roan's going in.
That's pretty good.
I didn't see a sip there.
It's delicious.
Yeah, I imagine.
Take another one.
It's so good. I don't believe him. It's delicious. Yeah, I imagine. Take another one.
It's so good.
I don't believe him.
It's so good.
He's just holding it on his mouth.
I'm not seeing anything
happening.
I don't believe he likes it.
Down in the chin area.
You drank a decent amount.
You don't see the
recession of the
three fluid ounces.
The water line.
Chug it.
It's a good smoothie.
All right.
There we go. It's fucking delicious. Alright, there we go
It's fucking delicious
Does anyone want some?
Yes
I kind of want to try it
Alright, here we go
KB's up
What?
The ingredients, yes
Yes, the ingredients, yes
Unless you want to take a little nibble of some
The ice
Some crumb cake
Remember to put the ice in last
Last
A little pro tip.
I know this.
I know this.
No, don't.
This one is the worst by far.
And everyone after it is fucked.
Yeah.
The fact that there's trace amounts
of sauerkraut and silly string
in the rest of them.
Jalapeno sauerkraut?
Wait, am I?
Do I?
I don't clean this?
No.
That's the whole point of this It's fine
We'll make it better
Yeah it's probably true
Yeah it's fucking delicious
Only yours
The sauerkraut
Is gonna ruin the entire
Blender for everyone else
Kyle you are German
Aren't you?
Yeah
That's pretty obvious
Probably like
A lot of mango
What was that noise?
This thing
It's like actually
Really fun to use Now that I took the ball off.
It's a little bit more dangerous.
It's a weapon.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
It hit me directly in the dick.
That's where your dick is?
Yeah, bro.
My dick is kind of like all this area.
How are you going to do this kraut, KB?
Just damn to that motherfucker in, brother.
Oh!
The juices No, no
You fucking shit cunt
No
Ew, dude, not with your hands
Oh my god
It looks like ramen noodles
It looks like brains It looks like boogers Stop, stop, no more bo hands. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, it looks like ramen noodles. It looks like brains.
It looks like boogers.
Stop, stop, no more boogers.
All right, you're good.
All right, Kyle.
Stop.
Why are you doing so much of that?
You sicko.
I can smell it.
Oh, God.
Sourcrows.
Shake it up first.
Shake it up first.
Do the first break.
You can't eat that.
I don't know how it's not going to work.
Can I eat this?
You're going to die.
How many views do you think we would get if I came back in here and just stabbed you?
I think you've got to shoot it into your palm.
What do you think the views?
Like 100 million.
Watch man die on air.
Yeah, that's perfect.
I'm worried about the silly string, KB.
All right.
KB's going to be in the fucking ER after this.
That's a monster.
A monster and the silly string are going to activate together.
The monster neutralizes the silly string.
There's already silly string in monster.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
This is kind of cool.
It's delightful.
It's so bad.
Oh, God.
That color.
Just green.
I can smell how toxic the silly shit is.
Yeah, that's bad.
What are you throwing in there?
Ice.
I'm worried for KB.
Your boy's about to be bound bad.
I'm worried for all of us because we have to drink after this.
You directly afterwards.
Oh, no.
No.
Ew, why is it that color?
Oh, my God.
Ew.
I think that's actually a good sign.
It's a mango.
It looks like human fat.
It does.
It does.
It looks like a bag of lipo fat.
KB.
This looks like the scene in Fight Club where they break in and get the...
Yeah, you're going to make some soap out of it.
What the fuck is it?
Oh, it's a puck.
Puck.
No.
All right, you got to remember you got to pour a little for Steven.
No, just pour a full thing for you and the rest for Steven.
Oh, there's something fall.
Oh, that's the silly string, that's the silly string.
That's the silly string.
Oh, my God.
Pour out the rest for Steven.
We got to number these for Steven.
Do we have a pen?
I think he'll know.
I think he'll know by the hue.
That's a nice knife.
That's a sharp-ass knife. You would have easily killed KB. Yeah, I would have gone right through him. That's a nice knife. That's a sharp-ass knife.
You would have easily killed KB.
Yeah, I would have gone right through him.
That was crazy.
Whoa.
All right.
KB.
Take your seat.
Take your sit.
I'm so worried.
I don't even want to watch.
It's going to be mango-y.
It's going to be very mango-y.
You have to eat that phone.
Mango-y.
What?
You have to eat that phone.
I'm aware.
It's right here.
I don't know.
Sauerkraut's really potent.
Flip over to Bauer.
There it is.
Did we put the camera on me?
Oh, okay.
Davey.
Oh, it's so thick.
That's good.
Shut the fuck up.
No, no, no.
It's bad aftertaste.
First, it's just like mango-y.
Now, it's bad.
What's the taste?
I'm tasting something terrible, but I don't know what it is.
It's not the sauerkraut.
Silly string?
Silly string, maybe.
Probably the silly string.
It's not the sauerkraut. Silly string. Silly string. Probably the silly string. It's so thick.
Oh, God.
I can't watch.
I can't watch.
How is it?
Are you really going to be sick from it?
No.
Yeah.
What kind of sick are you about to be from that?
What do you have?
Goat's milk, coffee, potato, banana.
Yeah, that's four.
Yeah.
Don't we have five?
No, not everybody.
Oh, we traded.
We traded.
That's right.
That's right.
I only have five.
Yours isn't bad at all.
I lost.
No, mine's not bad.
Are you all right? It's not bad Are you alright?
It's not gonna be good
No
Cause the potato is really gonna play
It's all edible
It's not silly string
Jesus Christ
Hey Kyle
You're being like quiet
I'm actually fine
I know are you good?
I'm good
It's not too bad
But it's something about it
Take more
I had to drink a ton of mine
You have to drink more
He doesn't need to drink more
You were fucking You had birthday cake and fucking cornbread.
Because I won the draft.
What pick were you?
You scammed the draft.
I'd go heavy on the coffee
Yeah
A little bit more goat
See a little sauerkraut
Do you have potato in there?
Yep
I put potato in first
Oh
And how about the
There's a hole in the bottom
Very icy
You got the banana in there?
Oh yeah
Are you sure? What color Are you hiding ingredients? Very icy. You got the banana in there? Oh, yeah.
Are you sure?
What color are you going to be? Are you hiding ingredients?
Are you looking to see if it's edible?
All right.
We're blending.
Oh, my God. why is it gray?
Kai, are you good?
Um, I think Silly String might be poison.
Really?
He just looked something up and then left.
Yeah.
Is he gonna go make himself puke?
I think he's calling someone.
Calling the poison hotline.
My actually looks kind of cool.
It's very gray.
We should call it.
Draft Day comes to an end.
It's not a good color.
He comes back and his eyes are just yellow.
Got a yellow glaze to them. You good?
Yes.
What did you just Google?
We're all looking for a KB update here.
Yeah, we just need something.
We're scared.
You made me eat
silly strings.
We didn't.
Rowan made you.
You traded for it.
What did you trade?
I didn't know it was going to be silly.
It didn't take?
Nah, just give it a little more.
Put it on a different setting.
Too strong.
I mean, the banana has to blend.
Yeah, it does.
It's not down.
It's not on the blender much.
I don't know.
No, it's not.
Yeah, it is.
Now she's roaring.
She's really rolling now.
KB is furiously Googling.
Are you checking out that poison hotline, KB?
Good.
What's it say about Silly String?
Nothing crazy.
Just like...
Don't eat it.
Okay, that's funny.
Just like stop my stomach.
Really suck up the mucus membranes in my body.
Stop your stomach.
I don't think you had a lot.
It's like a coffee...
Cafe Latte. Oh, yeah, it is. It's like a Frappuccino. It's like a coffee cafe latte.
Oh yeah, it is. It's like a frappuccino.
It's like a frap.
Does it say anything
about styrofoam balls?
I forgot what I had to do.
This is actually a really nice
smoothy hue.
Howard Hughes that we have here.
Fucking Howard Hughes over here.
We got fucking colors.
Make sure you don't put in just chunks
of ice because it can't...
It can't process it. We gotta slam the ice on the
concrete floor first.
Let Big Cat take a
nice sip first.
This is potato, goat milk,
coffee, and banana.
Potato, goat milk, coffee, and banana.
I feel like this is like what people in Ireland drink. It's like a full meal. Potato, goat milk, coffee, and banana.
If they had bananas, they would do that.
If there were bananas in Ireland, they would definitely get busy like that.
The great banana famine in Ireland.
It doesn't taste good.
What does it taste like? Silly strength.
What does it taste like, though it doesn't taste like silly strength.
What does it taste like, though?
What flavors are you getting?
The coffee?
The banana actually is the strongest flavor.
So the fruits always win in smoothies.
We're doing a two-hour yak just to tell you that fruits are always the number one ingredient in a smoothie.
Yeah, we'll see what peas do.
Do peas really dance?
I honestly don't think I want to see that. That's actually not bad.
You want to take a sip? Anyone want a sip? It's actually pretty good. Yeah, do peas really dance? I honestly don't think I want to see that. That's actually not bad. You want to take a sip?
Anyone want a sip?
No.
It's actually pretty good.
Yeah, give me a sip.
You need a palate cleanse.
You need something.
Gabe, you want an Oreo?
It's pretty good.
No, it just tastes like a banana coffee.
How much butter are you going to use, Nick?
How much should I use?
You should actually taste a little of the potato.
It's not that bad, right?
Half of it.
No, this isn't bad.
Cut the banana with the lollipop. The potato doesn't taste a lot. It of the potato. It's not that bad, right? Half of it. No, this isn't bad. Cut the banana with the lollipop.
Because the potato doesn't taste a lot.
It's not crazy.
It's not going crazy in there.
Cut the butter, yeah, with the lollipop.
Gross.
Didn't we have a knife?
Oh, my God. Oh, touching raw handing butter is. Didn't we have a knife? Oh my god
Oh touching
Raw handing butter is
Absolutely foul
It's so foul
With the wood
With the wood
You're gonna get splinters in your ass
You're gonna get all splintered up brother
Now that's nice That was a nice pour You're going to get all splintered up, brother.
Now that's nice.
That was a nice pour, too. Sunny D might also save it.
Remember, make sure you save some for Steven.
We have a really nice palette going in terms of colors.
Yes, very beautiful color palette.
What do you have last?
I have everything in there.
It is a banana.
I actually think you should probably take the wood out
because it's not going to blend.
See if it blends and then take it out.
I have banana, a full lollipop,
Sunny D, and butter.
Wait, whose is that in the Pocky Pock?
KB's.
You risk ruining the blender
with the stick.
No, no, no. Make sure you only use crushed up ice.
It doesn't...
The blender...
Individual pieces.
Yeah, individual pieces.
Shay says you risk ruining the blender with the stick.
He doesn't know.
Here, cut the lolly off the stick.
Just to play it safe.
Cut the lolly off the stick.
Here.
Yeah, that's actually probably a better idea.
You got the shot?
Ah!
Man, we get so many views.
I don't know if we would.
We'd have to go on fucking e-bombs.
That man bleeds out.
That was really good, Nick.
It's a sharp knife.
That was really good.
It's a really sharp knife.
Did you have a history of cutting lollipops?
Yeah.
That was his job.
Nick and Steve actually worked at the same time.
Right, I was turning lollipops into hard candy.
Because they come in lollipop naturally in nature.
Alright, this is going to be good.
The butter is actually going to make it delicious.
I feel nervous because of how nervous KB is.
I know.
I'm not nervous.
Why are you changing colors?
Oh, wow. Wow. I feel nervous because of how nervous KB is. I know. I'm not nervous. Why are you changing colors?
Oh, wow.
Look at this color. The candy is really informing the color.
Keep going.
That's just throw up.
That's throw up color.
More ice?
Probably more ice.
We should call the blender company after this.
Yeah, that's a kid that's got, oh, like, that's the stinkiest throw-up you could have.
That's like Gravitron throw-up.
How is it looking?
It looks really gross.
You know what?
My smoothie, the aftertaste is a lot of potato.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm like, what's this taste in my mouth? Oh, yeah, I just drank a potato. Yeah. I'm like, what's this taste in my mouth?
Oh, yeah.
I just drank a potato.
Try mine as a palate cleanser.
I love that this is, I love that this show just, you know, once a month we just go back
to like middle school.
Like, will you drink this nasty shit, bro?
Making potions.
Is that delicious?
That actually is delicious.
Yeah, it is.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
No.
What's a gas?
Motherfuckers eating slime.
No.
No.
I need some.
Feast on some gum.
No. Yeah. Toxic sl. Nick. Feast on some gum. No.
That did.
Yeah.
Toxic slug.
Nick.
Oh, my God.
Wait, no.
Look at the cup.
It looks like moss.
Nick, that did not pour well.
Nick, show the cup to the camera.
It looks like a.
I don't even know how to describe that.
Pour it into the camera.
Pour it into the camera.
Wait, no, no.
Go back.
Go back.
Because that didn't look.
That didn't look.
It's not a liquid at all.
It wasn't a good pour.
Oh!
Oh, my God.
Broccoli soup.
Oh, Jesus.
Oh, man.
How is that so much worse than the sum of its parts?
Right?
I think what we're finding – I think we have to read –
I think we have to keep doing smoothie drafts
because they're actually the greatest equalizer.
Because the butter is all butter.
You can draft great items, and when you blend it, it's just not good.
That is not a liquid.
That's like a foam installation.
It's a butter.
I think the butter changed.
It looks like the inside of a bean bag.
Yeah, it looks like it's inside a silica gel package.
It curdled.
Yeah, that's a mouse wrist protector.
Oh, my God.
The separation on
that is terrible.
If you just projectile
vomit it, it would
be so funny.
Oh, it's the
worst mouth feel
of all time.
How's the taste,
Nick?
How's the taste?
Have a little salicypring in there.
Not bad.
Really?
No, it sucks.
That texture is shit.
This is the worst.
It's like...
You need to drink it so you can get some of that juice on the bottom.
The separation is bad.
You know, like that...
What is the bottom?
What is different?
It's a totally different smoothie.
Hold it up more.
Look at that.
What is that?
Ew.
It looks like a foamy beer if the beer was green.
Great head on that beer, brother.
Somebody else try this because it is the strangest feel.
Get this potato.
Swap me.
All right.
I'll take the sludge.
Look at that. It's the strangest doesn't taste bad
I feel like we should get some oh yeah look I was gonna say I feel like we should get some sort of rinse out but I guess not yeah take a picture of it before it's candy
well yeah so that's that's what we're but that's what we're learning with these smoothies.
It's like there's always one taste that goes ahead of everything else.
Well, boy, I ain't doing that.
Have you tried mine?
Starts with candy, ends with butter.
Mine tastes like banana, but then it ends with a potato.
No, I think it's all potato.
Really? It's all potato. Maybe it's settled. Yeah, the then it ends with a potato. No, I think it's all potato. Really?
It's all potato.
Maybe it's settled.
Yeah, the potato has risen to the top.
That is the weird...
Yours is all potato.
Holy shit.
That is the weirdest looking smoothie ever.
Somebody try mine.
Somebody else.
I don't want to.
I just did.
It's a unique feel.
It's a great experience.
Oh.
Ah.
Peas.
A lot of peas.
A lot of peas. Heavy lot of peas, brother.
We're pea heavy on the peas.
You might not even need ice.
Are those peas frozen?
Yeah, you want a little pea heavy.
All right, well, that's good.
Oh, you just said fuck me.
You just wanted to fuck yourself.
Yeah, come on, bro.
Now onto the crickets.
Sour cream and onion.
I'm going to have a cricket. Now onto the crickets. Sour cream and onion. And you get all the residue of mine.
Oh, Jesus.
The residue is probably the worst part, honestly.
Nick's fighting something off right now.
I burped it up and it was just very viscous.
It's so buttery. It's so buttery.
Yours is so buttery.
You put in so much butter, and it all comes off.
Oh, look at it, dude.
Go touch it.
Just go touch the top.
Someone clip that, please.
Clip that.
Here come the crickets.
That's the second bag of crickets.
The crickets will give a little protein-y crunch.
I think yours is going to be very disgusting.
Really?
I don't.
Yeah.
Look at it.
Bloody Mary and chocolate?
Oh, my God.
I didn't know there was the chocolate.
What about the peas and crickets?
I know, but I thought it was just Bloody Mary, peas, and crickets.
I didn't know there was chocolate.
Ew.
Look, Jonathan's going to throw up the whole time.
So the peas and crickets are fine, but the chocolate.
I think the Bloody Mary mix would have overpowered the peas and crickets.
Yeah, no, you're not wrong.
But I didn't know the chocolate was in there.
Chocolate and Bloody Mary mix are the worst two batches.
A lot of Bloody Mary mix, Owen.
I feel like that'll give it to.
I would go heavy on the Bloody Mary.
Oh, I hate Bloody Mary.
Like, if you had me just drink Bloody Mary, I'd probably be sick.
I'd love Bloody Mary.
Look at that.
That's just a unique.
Whoa.
Virgin ones?
I like, what's it called?
I like V8.
Splash.
All right.
You're supposed to drink V8 when you fly.
Why?
Like something about, I don't know.
Air.
Someone just told me that one.
I heard that too.
Do you do it?
Yeah, no.
I do do it.
I need somebody else to try that right now.
I did already.
Big Cat will.
It's the Yak with Big Cat.
But it tastes like candy right away.
It tastes like.
You want to change them to the Yak with Nick.
Bitch.
Why don't you drink it, Sass?
I'll change it to the Yak with Sass for a day.
Oh, Sass, you still have to blend, right?
That blender might be broken.
That would be a shame if it broke right before mine.
You need the water to go to the bottom.
There it goes.
Here it comes.
Just wait for it.
Just wait for it.
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
Oh, my Lord.
No, it didn't do it.
Did anything happen?
I think that's a new color.
It needs more Bloody Mary mix.
That is a new color.
You need more Bloody Mary Mixer, Sam.
Is it thick?
How thick is it?
Goat milk?
No, what?
Oh, it is bad.
Let me see it.
Oh, it's a smoothie.
It's so thick. It looks like poop., it's a smoothie. Oh! Let me see.
It's so thick.
It looks like poop.
Show it to the camera.
Show it to the camera.
It's our British wing.
Oh!
Like the colors are refusing to blend. Oh, no!
Oh, no!
No!
And there's just going to be crickets floating in there.
Blend it more.
Blend it more. Blend it more.
It won't take.
I almost just got sick from that.
There it goes.
Just hold it.
Hold it.
Hold it.
Hold it.
Just hold it for a little.
Shay's saying something.
Shay's like, you got to.
There's not enough liquid to bind it.
You got to be patient with her.
She's doing her job.
She's doing the best she can.
Oh, here he comes.
He knows what to do.
Stanko.
Oh, you motherfucker.
Get us right, Stanko.
Stanko wants more ice.
Come on.
Oh, not enough ice?
You want more ice?
Oh, that looks worse than it did before, I think.
Get some ice.
Show the camera.
It looks worse.
Does it look worse?
Why is it jet black?
Shut up.
No, it's not, is it?
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
Oh, no! Oh, Owen, buddy. Oh, no.
That's diarrhea.
You're next, Sass.
Sass is next in the blender.
Hold on.
Pour some for Steve.
Pour some for Steve.
Now, don't be greedy.
Oh, my God.
That's like a... No.
That's the shit. Oh, no God. That's like a... No. No.
That's the shit.
Oh, no, stop.
You put that in between bricks.
That's, yeah.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
That is so gross.
I cannot imagine something that fucking gross.
I cannot believe you have to drink that.
You know what we should do?
Steve and Chase should have to drink all the smoothies put back in the smoothie.
Yeah, let's blend them all.
Omega smoothie.
Yes.
Hold on.
That should be the punishment for the person in last place.
Oh, yes. Yes. That's just Owen again. the punishment for the person in last place. Oh, yes, yes.
That's just Owen again.
No, Stephen.
Stephen's right.
Stephen will be honest about it.
All right, Owen, here we go.
Take a sip.
It's going to be KB, I think, because this is literally a toxic poison.
As opposed to what kind of poison?
A healthy poison.
Oh, take a sip.
I don't know if you can sip.
Lay it on your tongue.
You're going to have to chew it.
Yeah.
All right.
This is the consistency of beef jerky.
I'm more worried about how I'm going to get all that out.
Wipe it all over your tongue.
Paste it on.
Am I allowed to close my eyes?
Yes.
Yeah, sure.
No, you're not.
No, you're definitely not.
You're definitely not.
If he closes his eyes, it only makes his other senses stronger.
You have to fuck this thing.
Why is he not allowed to close his eyes?
I can't watch.
I really want someone to puke.
It's not that bad?
It's bad.
What's the strongest taste?
Did you put ice in it?
What's the strongest taste?
Peace.
I think you forgot to.
Boys, I knew it going in.
We need to take over.
Peace.
Owen, you're good.
You're good.
Owen, did you forget to put ice in it?
Owen's going for it.
No, it's icy.
Don't do it.
You just trying to get a cricket?
I'll put ice in it.
Not enough.
Oh, my God, Owen.
All right, Sass.
Staring into that bag.
Sass is using quite a blend here.
Okay, but I get to pour that out more, right?
There's still half of his smoothie in there.
I don't know.
I mean, you can bang it out.
You can do a couple bangs.
You can do it a couple bangs.
A couple bangs.
You can't use any tools to scoop it out.
What are you talking about?
We've all played by the same rules.
That's the point.
Jump it out.
Jump it out.
That's the point.
Bang the side.
Okay.
There you go.
All right.
Now you're done.
Now you're done.
You're done.
Stop.
You're done.
All right.
Good.
That's the point of the draft.
Dude, that's the point of the drive.
Dude, that's the point of the drive.
It's not that bad.
Rowan, where'd you get this Sunny D?
It's never that bad.
I stand.
Okay, this is like a ton of dirt and dust. Someone make a flow chart.
Did you just put a lip in?
Yeah.
What?
What?
What? What? What?
Someone needs to make a flow chart of sass where his initial reaction is, dude, no way.
And then he slowly gets to, you know what?
This isn't that bad.
Yeah.
Every time.
Someone definitely needs to do that.
Well, someone will. And I'm going to tweet it.
You want to touch it?
Oh, you fucker.
Dude.
I felt like I was going to throw up from watching Owen drink his.
Yeah.
Owen has so little emotion ever.
He is a perfect poker face guy, but.
How are you feeling, Owen?
Sass, you can put this in there instead of the foam.
That's Donald Trump.
Send a message.
Bro, yo, dude. It's all those righties's Donald Trump. Send a message.
Kathy Griffin, send a message.
What would Dylan say? Dylan would be pissed.
The Oreos are big for you. Huge.
Yeah, Oreos are huge.
Put the foam in.
I'm not that worried about this.
I don't think it's that bad.
Kyle, are you good? Yes, I'm good. Let about this I got a taste No I don't think it's that bad Kyle are you good?
Yes I'm good Alright let's fucking watch this guy
You're like concerned
No I'm not
I'm concerned about Kyle
I'm gonna have to check in with Kyle later tonight
It's like when someone gets a concussion
You're gonna like
Half assed check in
Yeah
Check it in
If you need anything let me know
And then you're gonna flame him on the radio
For a week after
Who's he done that to?
His lungs.
When his lungs punctured.
When he died.
I was sympathetic, but then you had nothing.
The doctor was like, you're a pussy.
You were like, you're going to the doctor.
Sass, are you shaking?
No.
That's like when Brandon had to go to the doctor for dehydration.
He was thirsty.
Aw. Okay, banana chips? That's like when Brandon had to go to the doctor for dehydration. He was thirsty.
Aw.
Okay, banana chips?
Put in a little funfetti.
Or confetti.
Put in a little ticker tape.
For fun.
For some color.
For our listeners.
It's all about presentation.
He does have a foam ball. I want to see how the ticker tape will make it look.
Do it for the podcast.
Those are delicious.
Those are delicious.
The foam ball's not
going to blend,
by the way.
Maybe.
Maybe a little.
Maybe a little bit.
If it doesn't,
then you put the ticker tape in.
No, if it doesn't,
then you have to drink
your smoothie
by sucking on the foam ball.
You get the ball
and you lick the ball.
You put it back on the cone
and lick it.
Yeah, you put it in your mouth.
Let's actually make him do that.
He has to put it on Nick's stick
Make sure the ice is really broken up, Sass
I got the mouth sweats
Ew
The mouth sweats
Mouth sweats
I know what he's talking about
Dude, I just almost gagged on the amount of phlegm that this is creating in my body
Get yours away
This is a solid
And a liquid though, but they're just separated We got chia pet maybe the amount of phlegm that this is creating in my body. Get yours away. This is a solid.
And a liquid though but they're just separated.
We got chia pet maybe?
Yeah.
I want to just
scoop and squeeze.
No more Oreos.
You've had enough.
You've had enough Oreos.
I can put as many Oreos
as I want.
You want to scoop and squeeze?
Can you throw me
the paper towels?
I'll scoop and squeeze it.
Scoop and squeeze that.
Sas, can you throw me
the paper towels?
He wants to scoop and squeeze.. Scoop and squeeze that. Sas, can you throw me the paper towels? He wants to scoop and squeeze.
Oh, my lord.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Sideways.
Yeah.
Ugh.
Holy.
Oh.
Oh. It's black.
Oh, no.
That is not good.
That's like a charcoal.
It's the Oreos.
It's working.
It's the foam ball.
The foam ball is blended.
Okay, now you're blending.
Yeah, now you're cooking.
It's got a lot of power.
Do that into the camera.
Where's the foam ball?
Is it in there?
Is it blended?
It didn't take.
There's no way it took.
There's no way.
It's probably floating on the top.
Jam it down.
There's nobody watching.
I just realized.
Actually, we have a lot of 6,000 people watching right now.
Where's the ball?
To everyone.
That texture is tough.
Is the ball in there?
Yeah, it's not.
Jam it down with the thing.
It's not.
There's a sword.
There's a little sword.
Use the sword.
Jam it down.
Fish around for the ball and then just start sucking on it.
Suck the ball.
Yep, use that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Feel the ball? Feel the ball. Okay, all right. Then we're good to go. Then we're good to go. The ball's gone. Yep, use that. Yeah. Yeah. Feel the ball?
Feel the ball.
Okay, all right, then we're good to go.
Then we're good to go.
It's disintegrated.
Oh, you will taste the ball.
The ball is gone.
Make no mistake about it.
You'll taste it.
Or blend real quick.
You won't see it.
Yeah.
Or feel it.
Another show that we did that's just not conducive to podcasting
Yeah
Driving to work just listening to a blunder
I love this show
Let's not put this one up as a podcast
We need to go back to just doing best ofs
We should do that
That's the way to do it
Yeah I think that would be smart
I think putting this one up as a podcast
I think the people would like this as a podcast.
I think that they would.
Sensory audio.
Suspension of belief.
Yeah.
They'd probably picture something that's funnier and better than what it is.
Yeah.
Because these are actually delicious.
All of these are very good.
All right, here we go, Sass.
Describe the hue, KB.
What hue is that?
Is that the rainbow charcoal?
The top texture is really bad. Let's see it. Pour it out. Oh, no. What hue is that? Rainbow charcoal.
Let's see it.
Pour it out.
It's like trash in the ocean.
I saw one of the ball.
A little of the ball.
Where'd it go?
Where's that ball? It's so susceptible to blending.
I want to see the ball.
What is this texture at the top?
Ball. That is see the ball. Oh, man. What is this texture at the top? Ball.
That is 100% ball.
It's like foam in the ocean.
Yeah, that's right.
It was a foam ball.
That's exactly what it was.
Pour it out for Steven.
Pour it out for Steven.
Let me see.
Let me see.
Yeah.
Oh, that's ball.
That's hairy ball. I don't even think I could spill this. I think I could do a... It's a ball. That's a hairy ball.
I don't even think I could spill this.
I think I could do a...
It's a blizzard.
I could do a...
I could do a...
A DQ blizzard upside down.
All right, so he's going to try this one,
and then Steven's going to come in and try them all,
and then we're going to blend them all for the loser.
Oh, no.
Sass, is there a ball in there?
There's no ball.
All right, here we go. Sass, take a sip. It there? There's no ball. Alright, here we go.
Sass, take a sip.
It was a magic trick the entire time.
Let's see a picture.
It's just going to taste like straight Oreo.
Alright, so don't complain.
There's only two that are
similar in hue.
Sass, how is she? How is it, Sass? How is it? Talk to us. similar in hue. Mine has settled.
How is she?
How is it, Sass?
How is it?
Talk to us.
Talk to us.
For the pod.
For the pod listeners.
I would imagine it's Oreo.
Is Oreo the strongest?
You can taste the ball.
Really?
Oh.
Take another sip.
One more sip.
What's the aftertaste?
Is it Oreo is the strongest or no?
Take another drink.
You're still getting a little peas, I think.
Probably some peas in there.
You taste those peas.
All right, give it another sip.
It's the peas.
One more sip.
One more sip.
Peas bad.
Oh, oh, oh.
I'm just not going to breathe.
Why?
What?
It kills off the taste buds.
I beg your pardon?
That one wasn't...
What?
That one wasn't as bad.
I'm getting a heavy, heavy butter taste.
My lips feel buttery.
Here comes Steven.
All right, Che.
Steven, he's a professional.
He's bringing the water to cleanse.
Are you going to go in the order that we went, Steven?
Are you just going to go random order?
All right, so
How is nobody throwing?
You take one sip and then you
I think we all know which ones ours are
But maybe not
Show it to the camera before you sip it
And we'll probably be able to tell which one it is
Okay
A 1 to 10 rating is exclusively for you
All right, so show that to the camera Mike Okay. A 1 to 10 rating is exclusively for you.
All right, so show that to the camera.
Mike.
Nyx, yeah.
That's Nyx.
It's toxic green.
It's like a lime green.
It's very fluorescent almost. A sip of Nyx.
You take a bite of mine, actually.
All right.
Okay.
You don't have to take a big sip.
He's chewing it.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
He has a mouth full of food.
Pretty good.
Okay, okay.
The worst mouth feel baby ever.
Talk to the mic.
Here, sit down here, Steven.
I'll bring him to you.
It's very candy forward, though, isn't it, Steven?
It's amazing what that lollipop did.
But there's a buttery aftertaste.
Let's not neglect the butter.
There's literally... I'm wiping butter off
of my face. Are you getting the butter, Steven?
Yes, very much so.
Yeah, I thought so. But that's actually...
It kind of enhances the taste. It makes it a little creamier.
It is so chewy.
I think
you're taking bites.
Yes. Chewy is what you want to drink.
Alright, so I don't think I lost.
That's good.
You can't be a loser.
They're all going to be bad scores, I think.
But I'm judging off a regular palate.
Rose is good.
5.5?
Okay, 5.5.
Here we go.
And then we're going to do this.
Put just a little in there.
Here, this one's been coagulating for a bit.
Can I scoop this and let's pour the top?
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay, let's get another one for Steven.
I believe this is Sass's.
Sass's.
Yeah, that's me.
It's Sass's.
That is Oreo, a couple types of milk, a foam ball.
Yeah, tell him. Tell him.
Sell him.
So there is.
So mine contains a lot of Oreos, ice, of course, a little bit of banana.
Not too much banana, of course.
And then two different types of milk.
Of course.
Of course.
Okay.
Well, this is like strawberry.
And also there is a foam ball inside of it.
Was.
Was.
It smells pretty good.
It smells pretty good.
What does it smell like?
Oreos.
Yeah.
Completely Oreos.
Which is a nice smell.
That pea and butter texture.
You get hints of the strawberry milk,
which is very good.
Yeah.
Yes, but.
This is the best one so far.
You've had two.
So far. So far. This is the best one so far. You've had two. There's only one more.
This is better than the coagulated butter.
You could have said this is the better one.
I'd say this is 6.1.
Very nice.
The loser is...
They're the ones who already had to drink
the worst one.
Their punishment for drinking the worst.
They picked the worst things.
It should be the best person.
No.
Yeah, I agree.
Roan's bitch ass.
Shut up, dude.
You should have to drink the worst one.
Don't fucking do me like this.
My tongue is, like, really slippery right now.
It's because of the butter, dude.
Okay.
I did just get a little chunk of the foam ball.
Mine is...
Mine is...
Does it go down at all?
Does it change the score?
No, you can't change the score.
It's still in your mouth?
Steven, what you're drinking out of mine is goat milk, Death Wish coffee, a potato, and a banana.
It's very potato.
I'm trying to figure out how to score this because I hate coffee.
Well.
So I'm judging this.
Easily the worst smell.
Because it smells like coffee, which you hate.
It doesn't even smell like coffee.
It just smells like suey.
Potato coffee.
Oh, no.
Okay.
You're still optimistic.
Okay.
That's really bad.
It's not even really the coffee.
It's very potatoey.
Very potatoey.
I don't think mine sat well.
It doesn't travel well.
The potato doesn't hold.
Oh, the aftertaste is worse than the actual taste.
Didn't you say the aftertaste was extra potatoey?
Yes.
2.2.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
No.
Okay, this is Oh, no. No. No.
Not bad.
Okay, this is Rome's.
I think you're going to like this, Stephen.
What I'm presenting is a full confetti mini cake, which I took the top layer of and paired with some cornbread.
Underneath it, there were some raspberries, a nice bit of ice,
some anti-diarrhea medicine, and a seltzer, A nice seltzer water. If you're tasting a little
fizz or foam, that's not a soda bread.
That's the seltzer water.
So it smells not terrible.
There's an enormous ice cube in this.
That's going to dock your points.
You can avoid that.
You don't have to drink the ice.
Just drink the drink.
It's just too much. the drink. Oh.
It's just too much.
There's every flavor possible in this.
It's very bad. There's probably like four.
I told you what flavors there were.
There's actually three because one of them is tonic wine.
Bring that down to a one. I want a one on that.
That's got to be a one.
You don't like that? Make sure to
taste it. Oh, and that second sip was worse than the first.
Oh, Che.
Che.
No, no.
Hey, hey, hey.
No, no.
Camper him.
He already has it in his hand.
It's tough to see a man crawling like that.
Fuck yes.
This one's maybe like a 3.6.
You're an idiot. You think that that's that much worse than Nick's? That one's maybe like a 3.6. You're an idiot.
You think that that's that much worse than Nick's?
That one's very bad.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Nick's is absolutely better than that one.
Try this, Nick.
Gladly.
Alright.
KB's.
Alright.
This one.
I would order this off of a menu.
This is good. It's just good
That might be mine
Wait this is yours?
Oh yeah KB are you orange?
Yeah I'm orange
Have you tried Rones?
Yeah
Very good
It's good
So how is mine getting a 3.7
When it's fucking
How is mine a 2.2
I had all edible things
And he had a piece of ball in his mouth It's still winning How is mine a 2.2? I had all edible things. Mine is very –
And he had a piece of ball in his mouth.
It's still winning.
He had a piece of ball and he's like 5.5.
It's in first place.
I gave the score before I realized the ball was fully there.
Steven, we're working with a base layer of peas and then sour cream and onion crickets topped with Bloody Mary mix.
Oh, I didn't realize those were flavored crickets.
I think it was a bacon.
It isn't there, right?
Cheddar bacon crickets as well, and then hot chocolate powder.
Two flavors of crickets.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
This looks the most like poop out of everything by a mile.
That's a weird grading scale.
I didn't know we were doing that.
Yeah, miles from poop.
You've won most poop.
Closest to poop geographically.
This looks the most like poop by a mile.
It smells like old grass clippings, which is very bad.
Okay.
Big guy, you're nervous right now.
I think I lost.
If you give it in the ones, I will kill myself.
Oh, maybe not.
This is the worst.
Yes!
Wow, what a relief.
This is shocking.
What do you taste, Che?
0.9.
Oh my.
You'll like mine.
Yours could actually harm a person
I will have
I would inject silly string into my mouth to get the taste out of it
I have some silly string right here actually
That I'm opening
Last but not least
That is
KB's
Alright what do we got here
We got mango.
You want me to top it off?
Heavy mango.
Heavy mango, jalapeno, sauerkraut.
Jay, he needs to top it off.
Silly string and monster energy.
A little silly string on the top, sir?
Sure.
Oh, Ron.
Oh, 0.0, baby.
Wow, donut bagel.
Wow, Ron, feel good? Oh, 0.0. 0.0. Wow. Donut bagel.
Wow, Rowan.
Feel good?
Ooh, this smells terrible.
Everyone's like, do it, do it, do it.
Okay.
So I thought it really smelled terrible.
And it's really just this.
It's only sauerkraut you can smell.
That's very shocking. It tastes heavy mango.
It tastes good at first Oh no
You hate it
It's not worse than Owen's
This is probably like a 3.9
Was that the last one?
Yeah it's the last one
Wait you said that was better than mine?
Yeah it was better than yours.
Yours was terrible.
No, it wasn't.
It was legitimately good.
All right.
Try it again, Steven.
Try mine again.
Try the original one.
A 3.9.
And we're going to blend them all together.
Today is a day unlike any other.
Oh, yeah.
This is good.
I will create a drink that competes with my brothers.
A choice of ingredients I will take and combine them all into one perfect shake.
A shake of apples or ice cream or even some mint.
A drink that may hurt us like if we were in
Flint.
And as the day comes to an end,
I will look back and smile.
When I think
of its blend, thanks to this smoothie
man who we pay our
respects. We look to him
arms crossed as we say 10x.
10x. 10x.
10x, Owen. Let's get it, brother.
10 fucking x.
Where is it? It's right next to it.
This one? Yeah. I'm confused.
It was what was just happening there.
Don't spill that, brother.
It can't be worse than what you just ate.
It has what he just ate in it. It is 100% worse than whatever he just ate.
It's got older butter.
The butter
was so bad.
Double processed foam.
Don't drink too much, Owen.
Down the hatch. Finish it, Owen.
What are you doing?
Stop it, Owen.
Stop it, Owen. Stop it, Owen. What are you doing? Stop it, Owen. Stop it, Owen.
Stop it, Owen.
Oh, my goodness.
Please.
No.
No.
No.
No.
Stop it.
Owen, why?
Why?
Why did you do that?
Why?
Why?
Oh, my God.
Oh, man.
That's the show.
Great job.
Great show.
Great show, everybody.
Great show, everybody.
Good job, everyone.
Thank you for tuning in for Smoothie Day.
We will do this again.
Smoothie Day was a success.
And next time, we've got to get Brandon here.
Remember him?
No.
All right. We'll see everyone on Monday Holy shit
What a show
What a show
Everyone have a good weekend you Thank you.