The Yak - The Yak Takes On The Office... In None Other Than Family Feud! | The Yak 9-3-21
Episode Date: September 4, 2021If sling means no more Family Feud then we riotYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool....link/barstoolyak
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the Yak.
It's the Yak.
Get your straws Yak style.
It's the Yak.
Hey, Kyle.
What's up, Brandon?
Statistically, this is probably at least one person's dream radio foursome.
What do you think that person is like, though?
What do you think that person is like?
White?
No, actually, no.
No.
No.
If every person in the world listened to the act, then maybe.
Dukes.
Brandon.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, Brandon.
What's up?
So you guys drafted Dukes.
Yes, sir.
You actually invited me yesterday. Yeah, you did. I did? Yeah, guys drafted Dukes. Yes, sir. You actually invited me yesterday.
Yeah, you did.
I did?
Yeah, you said.
Oh, you answered him.
I didn't want to get Jeff Ndude either where you're like, I invited you and you didn't come on.
I apologize.
I sure did.
Yes.
Thank you for being here.
I appreciate it.
Thanks for inviting me.
I appreciate it.
What's going on in your life?
Not much.
You know, college football last night.
Came into work this morning.
Now it's Friday.
All right. What do we do. What are we going to do?
We don't have five.
We could get five.
Does it have to be a natural five like we said?
I'd like to play Jeopardy.
Jeopardy?
Do you want to try Jeopardy?
He's been wanting to play Jeopardy all week and I respect the move.
Jeopardy is a three player game.
I could retire.
I don't think Dukes
is really going to be...
I mean...
I mean...
You and Dukes are a team.
I'm not going to be a team.
I want to be my own guy.
No, no, no.
You and Dukes are a team.
We could take down
the world together.
So we can get two more
and do three teams of two.
Three teams of two
and Jeopardy...
If we get ten,
we could do a pickup
basketball game.
We can do a pickup
basketball game.
22, we could play tackle football.
That's true.
Smear the...
Huh?
Mm-hmm.
How many do you need to run for local government?
Signatures or whatever?
I don't know.
5,000?
Probably.
So we want to draft other people to Jeopardy
or are you just going to go play Jeopardy?
We could also take calls.
That never happens on the show.
Nah, not feeling it.
Not feeling that?
All right.
It could be an alternate that we haven't explored on the show.
We could explore the space a little bit.
Is there anyone who wants to really badly?
Take calls.
That's been their dream?
We got to...
To hop on the show.
Probably.
6-4-6-2-9-1-2-4-3-7.
Anyone out there
in the office?
Oh, we want to fulfill
their reaction.
Brandon, you made
your announcement.
I did.
I did.
The Brandon Walker
College Football Show.
We're doing Sling TV,
which I didn't know,
to be honest.
So if you're watching
and you haven't seen...
Now I'm thinking,
yesterday when they asked
how David killed Goliath.
Right, yes.
That was, Nick, he's good.
He's good.
He actually stumped me because I actually thought it was a ball and chain.
Man, no setup.
It was 100% a slingshot.
So if you're watching and you're wondering about Sling,
actually we're on Sling right now in addition to YouTube and everything.
We're not on Sling right now? I thought the Yak was on Sling right now in addition to YouTube and everything else. We're not on Sling right now?
I thought the Yak was on Sling.
TBD.
I'm glad you guys told me.
I appreciate that.
Well, it's TBD, but this is not live.
So Sling TV is, you know, you download it and you sign up for it,
but the Barstool Sports Channel is on the free tier.
So if you're wondering, hey, do I have to pay for it?
No, you do not.
Now, Sling does have some great college football stuff.
They've got great content.
They've got great everything.
It's $10 for the first month, $35 for each additional month.
It's fantastic.
I recommend you signing up for it.
But to watch the Barstool channel, to get in, you sign up, you download,
you're good to go.
So $10 for the first month.
Yes.
And then $35.
Yeah, $35.
And what is the Barstool Sports channel?
What's going to be on that?
I think The Dozen is going to be on that.
I think The Act will probably eventually be on that.
Pick Central.
Right now there's KFC Radio interviewing Theo Vaughn from the old office.
That's on right now?
Yeah, they're just going to be running.
Pizza Review.
I think Rediscovering America's on there.
There's only one live show right now.
People.
Wrong again.
Will this get us more exposure?
There's two live shows.
What's the other one?
Pick Central was live on Sling today.
Yeah, okay.
Will bars and restaurants play our channel?
We're not live on it because then we can't play Feud.
Or do almost anything else.
Can we cuss?
I think we do things that aren't.
Shit, balls.
But we're not on Sling.
I can still cuss.
Or curse.
I say cuss. Yeah curse. I say cuss.
Yeah, we know.
Swear.
TJ, you're active today.
Big day.
What's up with you?
Izu?
No.
Rutgers tomorrow?
Oh, yeah.
The return?
Tomorrow.
Oh.
You got cock teased last night, though.
You got rained out, right?
Yeah.
We're still focused on tomorrow.
Owen? All right. I still got glitter, though. You got rained out, right? Yeah. We're still focused on tomorrow. Owen?
I still got glitter on me
from two e-zoos ago.
What is e-zoo?
Electronic zoo.
You going this weekend?
No, it's a big EDM festival.
Okay, thank you.
It's in New York?
Yeah.
Why aren't you going?
Over it.
Where is it?
Randall's Island.
Gotcha.
And there's also one on Governor's Island, golf ball?
Yeah, it's golf ball.
I don't think you are over it.
I'm not.
Okay.
I really got to chill.
Oh, this was a big, I don't know if it's a detox weekend.
You said you're just going to do nothing, right?
You're not going to put anything in.
You're not going to defile your body.
Not a single drop this weekend.
That's an interesting play for the last weekend of summer.
Yeah.
It's beautiful outside.
It is.
Perfect weather.
I saw this guy on a bike was just going around with like a paint roller
and just breaking people's car mirrors
off.
Oh, that is beautiful.
This morning?
Yeah.
On my walk to work.
The weather gets good and the thieves come out.
I love that.
Brandon, you got J's now.
Did you dissect the Drake album in Ebonics yet?
I love it.
Like white dweebs get sports media clout
and they start tweeting shit like,
that Cuddy feature was wavy as hell.
Far, far.
Y'all didn't tell me Drake
blessed us with some heat.
Somebody said,
I mean, I love her.
She's my friend and everything,
but Casey was talking about
the Lil Wayne feature
and I was like, what?
So, no, I don't know.
I haven't dove into the Drake yet.
CLB?
Is that what it's called?
CLP?
Sports Center had a fire tweet about it.
That was awful.
Oh, with Thanos?
Drake as Thanos?
That guy doesn't get roasted enough.
Thanos?
No, like the guy who runs the account.
Oh, yeah.
Or does he?
I think people in the know at Barstool sufficiently roast him.
His name's Omar?
Yeah, he ran House of Highlights.
He doesn't get enough shit personally,
but the SportsCenter account is starting to catch some heat.
Like, people know that SportsCenter is just trolling people.
Well, yeah, people know it's corny, but it's not.
He is the account.
Yeah.
So it's him.
No, yeah, but nobody, like, knows it's Omar.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
It needs to be brought to the limelight.
Does it cross over into So Bad It's Good?
I think he makes a million.
Yeah.
I think he makes a million dollars.
Yeah. Does it cross over into So Bad It's Good? I think he makes a million dollars. There's one where Porzingis falls into a Rick and Morty space hole
and then transports and dunks.
That's just the most absurd shit.
I would like to see.
Is it a video edit?
Yeah, I'll find out.
The Larry Nance one's the best one.
He dunks and he just turns into Patrick Star.
He's running down the court.
We could just watch YouTube videos.
We could.
Or we could play Family Feud.
I mean, I already beat Brandon's ass.
I beat Brandon's ass once in Family Feud.
I know that we said five, but we haven't been playing as a team lately.
We've been playing individually.
Yeah.
So, really, the number doesn't matter if you're playing individually, right?
I want to try a harder game.
I want to try Jeopardy.
I don't think Owen's going to rest until he plays Jeopardy.
If we played Jeopardy, it would have to be all four of our lackluster brains
working together just to try to get one answer right.
That could work.
Have you and Nick been going to Trippie at night?
We have.
In Fidei?
Yes.
Actually, I do want to say.
Ryan McGuire's on Tuesday because we need more competition.
I'm coming one week.
But, of course, I'll be on team.
Not our team.
No, I was invited to your team.
Nick could single-handedly win by himself.
I think he told me that.
He got every question right.
I may have gotten three.
So is it just easy trivia down the fight?
He can identify any song just by hearing the first guitar riff.
I can't do that.
I don't have that skill.
There was a book category that he aced.
No book categories.
How many people go to this trivia night?
There's like 10 to 14 teams
of 3 to 5.
It's Ryan Maguire's?
Yeah. See, I would think all the
guys that go there are probably named Ryan Maguire.
No,
it's more of a
leftist crowd. Oh, I see.
Yes.
Douchebags don't like trivia. No, we's more of a leftist crowd. Oh, I see. Yes. Yeah.
Fun, fun.
Douchebags don't like trivia.
No.
No, we hate it.
Exactly.
Zod, can we watch the video I just sent you?
Okay, good.
Good.
To my email?
Yeah.
Did you dickhead see that crying kid who went up to Logan Paul?
Oh, my God. I did a deep his.
$100,000 a year.
His TikTok is awesome.
No, it's not.
Did you see it?
He met Dave.
Oh, I didn't see that.
Oh, yeah.
You actually pull up.
All right, yeah.
Fuck, what is his name?
I'm just going to watch a bunch of TikToks then.
Good, good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, let's just go through these.
They're quick.
I hope Stephen Che is okay because we didn't get a prep sheet again today, but I hope things
are okay.
Probably not.
Probably not.
No, it's probably going to take a while. Financially, it I hope things are okay. Probably not. Probably not.
Financially, it's probably morally.
Yeah.
I have a Che update.
Yes.
I just texted him, and he said water is all out of the basement,
so now just doing a big cleanup.
Now it's just all wet and dirty.
Is that a cleanup situation, or do you almost have to rebuild the whole thing? No, you just move.
You just move, yeah.
Yeah, it stinks.
I just sent the Portnoy one to Zah.
Oh, you found it?
Yeah.
Let's go.
Well, the back story is this guy quit his $100,000 job in Texas or something,
and then he went to the Jake Paul fight with the sole purpose of begging Logan and Jake for a job to work with them.
This whole cottage industry of quitting your job in hopes of getting one of these jobs?
Don't do that.
Why?
Logically, it doesn't make sense because you don't have to.
You can just keep your job and do the same thing.
And if you fail, you'll still have a job.
Yeah, I saw somebody quote to it.
It was like, why didn't he just take a day off?
That's like the Gary Vieira inspired.
You could say that you quit your job.
This is great.
All right, so there, bam.
Boom.
All right.
That's funny.
One more time, one more time.
Yeah, we need to see that.
One more time.
And this is the SportsCenter main account?
No, this is Bleacher Report.
Even better.
Yeah, that's good.
I think Omar was running the account, though.
He was running House of Highlights.
He runs everything.
Omar runs the internet.
Yeah.
Who is this Omar guy?
Do you know House of Highlights?
I do, yes.
No, but I'm saying he's the inventor of House of Highlights.
Then they got bought from Bleacher Report.
I don't think inventor is the right word there.
CEO.
Probably still.
We've got much left to invent.
He started House of Highlights and then ESPN bought him away from it, basically.
He invented.
Almost everything left is an adaptation.
I would argue it's been that way for a while.
Cell phone.
That's just a derivative of the original phone that Alexander Graham Bell started.
MP3 player.
Nah.
That's just music.
That's just a record player in a box.
Dude wipes.
That.
That has no equal.
Checkmate.
Yeah.
And how about delicious Coors Lights?
Those are good, and you can get those new look delivered straight to your door with Drizzly or Instacart by going to CoorsLight.com slash take.
You can get those Coors Lights in a new look delivered straight to your door with Drizzly or Instacart by going to CoorsLight.com slash take.
I love how they didn't give us a slash.
Omar Raja, born in 1994. That's depressing.
Alright, good for him. That's
every famous person. I guess you're
right. You're right. It's just what it is.
Every star athlete, musician. That is
27 years old at this point. In personality.
Actually, if you're after
94 now, you're aging out
of whatever industry you're in.
Ronan Sass.
Have we lost him?
Yeah.
They're gone.
Spotify.
Should we call one of them up?
I think it's public Monday.
What?
Oh, the Ronan Sass.
Son of a boy dad deal.
Well, they went on the fast track.
They've been a podcast for three months.
Yeah.
Episode 16, I think they're up to.
They must have been talking sucking dick.
Oh, yeah.
I don't get it.
That'll do it.
I read an Alex Cooper article today.
Why?
It came out because it was her talking about barstool sports, it said in the headline.
Was it good?
No, she didn't talk about barstool sports at all.
Oh, you got click baited. Yeah. All right. Well, what we got here is the Dave. Was it good? No, she didn't talk about barstool sports at all. Oh, you got clickbaited.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, what we got here?
Is this Dave?
Okay.
Possibly.
Possibly.
I think it's possible.
Nice to meet you, man.
Fuck is finally coming up.
I just met Dave Portnoy.
If you know him,
Pizza Reviews,
Interview with Trump,
you know,
anything dealing with sports.
Yeah, that's him.
That's the two things.
I know that guy's shaking right now.
I don't know why.
This is the first time I've ever met anyone famous, honestly.
How am I going to fucking talk to Jake Paul?
I have no clue.
But I just met him.
I had so much to ask him, but all that came out.
And you'll see the video.
Nice to meet you.
I don't even know.
I don't even know what happened.
But anyways, look look i'm trying
something's happening um like i was walking around cleveland how you doing i'm doing videos
trying to see jake paul okay are you gonna be at jake paul's i am i'm trying to talk to him
all right good luck with that good luck you think it's gonna be possible possibly i think it's
possible i can't wait to meet you nice to meet you man i think it's possible i'm gonna be able
to talk to jake. Yeah, absolutely.
His chances of getting a job would be astronomically higher if he just asked Dave instead of Jake Paul.
I like how he puts Jake Paul at, like, tiers above Dave.
He had the opportunity once.
Yes, we hire anybody.
And he's like, oh, no, I'm going to ask Jake Paul,
who doesn't hire mentors or assistants.
Play the video of him bawling his eyes out.
Oh, we got the guy crying too?
Yeah, that was before.
This might be it.
I just talked to Logan Paul.
Oh, man.
I mean, like he was just being nice, and I get it.
Media, whatever, he has to be nice.
He has to be nice.
Before I approached him, he was bragging about making $3 million.
I'll make $100,000.
Me too. I do make $100,000.
That's cool.
I want to...
Oh my god.
I want to act.
I want to do these things.
I'm having a breakdown
right now.
Yes, you are. The breakdown is you posting this. Oh. I'm going to break down right now. Yep.
Yes, you are.
Yeah.
The breakdown is you posting this.
I don't even know what to do.
His whole face is... Like, I did come up here by myself.
I do have family, but we're not the closest.
And I don't have really close friends.
This is getting awkward.
Also, I guarantee...
He hasn't even played the video yet.
He's close with his family, has friends.
They're funding him.
Oh, he did have friends.
Watch the clip, okay?
Watch the clip.
No, I quit my job.
I'm interested.
I'm interested.
This fight was on a Sunday night.
Why did you have to quit your job?
He had the full weekend.
It was Sunday.
He was going to travel it on the weekend
went home
yes I did
it's one of the sneak
the sneak videos
I'm sorry I just
did you print the ticket and stuff
no I just need to talk to you
I'm really
I'm trying to talk to your brother
he's talking to you
business
trying to talk about
trying to get a job
like I want to
I want to do media
I want to
I've been trying
what are you good at
I was having dances
I did like that
I did that video you know like oh you yeah you know oh so you really got what it takes yeah i don't
what a selling point i want to be like i'm 22 years old i'm just trying i bet can't be a mentor
right now right in my life i'm gonna fuck up myself i need a mentor you know what i'm saying
like i need connections and you need people be be around you. No, I didn't have connections and people around. I have Jake. That's it. You have a brother? Do you have people? Friends?
I don't. Friends? You got friends. You got amigos. I don't. You don't have friends? I don't. I swear to God.
I'm here by myself. I'm here by myself.
Also, just as advice, it's not a really good endorsement to say you don't have friends or family.
You have friends. Go med class and do stuff with your friends. I'm glad you quit your job. It takes balls to do that, bro.
But now you've got to act.
Try to make a step.
But I'm not the guy directly.
You're the guy.
You're the guy.
Paul was making lawsuits.
Yeah, he's being very, very good about it.
I'm not the guy.
Life isn't about handouts.
You know what I'm saying?
I know.
I'm not trying to get a handout.
What are you trying to do?
I'm trying to work hard for a little money.
No money.
I don't know.
I can get a job somewhere else.
All I want is to move to L.A. And I want to be able to for a little money. No money. I don't know. I can get a job somewhere else.
All I want to do is move to L.A.
And I want to be able to be a part of it.
Look, I have to go.
If you really are serious about it, bro, you should move to L.A.
And just like you approached me, start making connections with every single person in L.A. I'm serious.
I've always said this.
If you're charismatic and you can talk to someone, you can make it in L.A.
Yeah, that's my advice.
No, that's the best part.
The guy thought that's my advice. No, that's the best part is the guy thought the guy thought
that he was right.
He posted that
like everyone would feel bad for him
but everyone in the comments
were like,
dude, you quit a $100,000 job.
That's sad.
I mean, he
okay, he definitely
didn't quit a $100,000 job, right?
Oh, and then he
well, if you follow his
it doesn't matter.
He got the job back.
Did he?
Yeah.
Apparently, he was like a welder.
You guys are very nonchalant about this, but you know every fucking thing about it.
I did.
Wait, he's a welder?
I think.
Maybe not.
22-year-old welders don't make $100,000, do they?
My friend was a welder.
People who do that type of shit make a lot of money because their lives are hell.
Yeah, my friend was a welder.
He made $100,000, and then he quit.
Really?
Yeah, didn't like it.
I'm shocked I never welded.
I had a future of welding ahead of me and that somehow...
Fucking stop trying to be a...
Learn a trade.
You fools.
Learn a trade and get paid.
What would be your trade?
What would be your trade?
I can't do manual labor.
I tried the concrete industry.
Oh, that's the worst.
Yeah.
Laying concrete and shit?
That's awful.
No, I just did little tasks.
Oh, you were the...
I went out and got the popsicles.
You were the go-to boy.
The cement truck drivers only eat popsicles.
So I had to get the popsicles,
and I couldn't have the blue ones,
only the orange.
Why are they so particular about their popsicles that's all they eat
oh and send them another video
or let's fire up Jeopardy
play Jeopardy or Family Feud
you know what I think we're all gonna
play Jeopardy one time it's not gonna be good
alright let's try Jeopardy
let's try Jeopardy
Sa
Sa's eating let's's try Jeopardy. Let's try Jeopardy. So I was eating.
Let's fire up Jeopardy.
All right.
So there's a flash game of Jeopardy.
Jeopardy has an 8.2 on IMDb.
Did you guys ever play I Want to Be a Millionaire?
Or what's the game called?
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
We all want to be a millionaire.
I guess I do want to be a millionaire.
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? I used to play that in millionaire. I guess I do want to be a millionaire. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
I used to play that in high school all the time.
You used to watch it or?
Play it.
You know it's a show though, right?
Yeah, that's the rumor around here.
I just want to watch you play game shows.
I'll just sit them all out.
I wouldn't mind just watching you play Feud.
That was something.
I worked at a special needs camp and we used to play deal
or no deal and we were just like rigged the thing but it was really dealing yeah they let you
volunteer yeah yeah they let you do so you and i let the campers you were tricking the special
needs people that they were winners that's a funny way yeah i guess you could say it's not
really funny that's what you just said yeah i mean i guess everyone gets to participate yeah
the campers get to do some work if they want to yeah it was tough competition all right let's play some jeopardy how's this gonna work all right
we're going up against uh so we're going up against andy carter and c sims all right so we
could work as a unit i can't base oh we got baseball see this i have the vision of a glass
yeah we'll read it all right just continue so if this is like a speed thing, you guys should just yell buzz, I guess.
All right.
I don't know how this works.
Okay, we'll figure it out.
Glue baseball lingo for $200.
Okay.
Because he's supposed to get lots of RBIs and battery.
Buzz, buzz, buzz.
What is clean up?
Clean up.
Oh, this is clean up.
Family feud. Fuck this. Yeah, this is... Clean up. Family feud.
Fuck this.
Yeah, this is not...
Let's do one.
2017 Best Visual Effects Oscar nominees for 800.
Oh, no.
Biblical quotes.
We'll get to that one, too.
Are you kidding me?
Stop motion film was the second animated movie to be nominated in the category
joining The Nightmare Before Christmas.
My Life is a Zucchini.
Final answer.
I think it's Kubo and the Two Strings. It is Kubo. Kubo and the Two Strings. Final answer. I think it's Kubo
and the two strings.
Kubo and the two strings.
Final answer.
I don't know what any of those are.
We're not saying final answer
on Jeopardy, though.
We have to say what is.
Biblical quotes.
Biblical quotes.
800.
It's 800.
This isn't it.
Psalm 111 says
the fear of the Lord
is the beginning of this.
Salvation.
Wisdom.
Wisdom.
Yeah.
What is wisdom?
Sus.
Oh, sorry.
How's that sus to know?
600.
Pause.
You're educated in the Bible.
That's fine.
Yeah, family feud.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Although we are beating their ass.
Multiple choice jeopardy is bullshit.
If you have...
If you struggle getting your dick hard...
No, go on.
I want you and Dukes to have this conversation.
Talk to me.
Owen?
GetRoman.com slash 15.
No, I don't know what it is.
Do you know it?
Asking for a friend.
Did you feel the need to do that?
I just knew we had to do it at some point.
We might have to circle back around to that one.
Yeah, we'll get to it.
Do we have a printout of that?
No.
This is a half day for the office,
so I want to thank you boys for
coming in is it yeah it's gone oh the office is closed we should get rudy in here oh yeah
oh rudy's my rudy rudy come here big mistake big mistake you're gonna want to regret this one yeah
all right let's play the feud, Rudy. Come on.
Playing Family Feud.
You shouldn't have acknowledged us.
You're not going to have fun.
I've never really watched Family Feud.
Yeah.
You'll be good.
You also, I said, oh, I've never really done trivia.
Then you come on the dozen, you beat everybody. I know, man.
Just keep killing it.
Under promise, over perform.
And then you called me out.
That was a mistake.
Was it?
Not really.
I don't know.
Trivia guy. Oh. Was it? Not really.
Trivia guy.
No one fears you.
I know. None.
It used to be your league. No one thinks that anymore. It is my show.
You lost your touch, people were saying?
I haven't.
LeBron needs better teammates. There's been whispers.
What are we going to do? Individual or team? I haven't. LeBron needs better teammates. There's been whispers. All right.
What are we going to do?
Individual or team?
Owen, you're up.
If you're LeBron, who's going to fuck your mom?
Everybody, brother.
Owen.
Name something that follows the word baseball bat.
We've done everything.
We've done it all We've done it all.
God damn.
Rudy?
Game?
Let's just have
Dukes and Rudy do it.
That's true.
Dukes and Rudy,
you guys are up.
Player?
Okay.
That's terrible.
Oh, man.
Damn.
Are you kidding me?
Swing.
What?
Shit.
Oh, I got it.
Oh, shit.
Glove.
Yes.
And you guys have to rotate guesses.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Nice start.
Diamond is one.
I don't remember the other.
Hat?
Yeah, fuck.
That's insane.
Is it?
Yeah, it is.
Baseball glove?
Baseball hat?
Baseball cap?
So who won that?
You guys lost it?
Eliza.
Oh, we were playing Maldonado?
Got it.
All right, you got to alternate answers.
Dukes, you give an answer.
Okay.
Name a wild animal that some people keep as pets.
Dukes.
Tigers.
Mike Tyson. Geez. Mike Tyson.
Geez.
I guess there's not many.
Lion.
This seems dangerous.
Okay.
A horse.
Always.
Is that a wild animal?
Some are.
Assateague. Snake. Good answer. Good answer. Wild animal? Some are. Aceteg.
Snake?
Good answer.
Good answer.
Good answer.
Frog.
What?
Frog.
What?
Frog.
Did he stutter?
Should have.
That's what I said.
Fuck.
Maldonado is bricking this round.
Bear.
Bear?
I like that.
Turtle.
You like that?
Why didn't I say...
Maybe a monkey?
Yeah, monkey.
No, nobody has an alligator as a pet.
Fuck.
Nobody has a bear.
Man, it's hard when you're really under the gun
and the bright lights are on in fantasy.
Yeah, we know.
It is.
We learned.
Keys.
I'm sweating. Imagine if you had Steve Harvey staring at you, too. really under the gun and the bright lights are on in fantasy. Yeah, we know. It is. We learned. Keys.
I'm sweating.
Imagine if you had Steve Harvey
staring at you too.
Name an animal
you might worry about
if you were swimming
in the Amazon.
Am I going first?
Yeah.
Anaconda.
Good answer.
Can we clap it up
for Zog's spelling
and proving
every day this week?
Yeah, incredible job.
It's got to be an alligator.
My God.
Not in South America.
Yeah, I don't know if they're in South America.
How do I not get okay if you're swimming?
It's not your spelling?
One more for fire.
It's more my typing.
Crocodile?
Crocodile, yeah.
Guys?
What are you saying?
Shark?
What are the ones that eat each other?
Piranha.
Here we go.
You ever see the Peruvian kid who got
eaten down to his bones? This list is BS. It's going to be piranha. It's just misspelled. A bird? here we go you ever see the the Peruvian kid who got eaten
down to his bone
this list is BS
it's gonna be piranha
it's just misspelled
a bird
Mackenzie Scott
snake
oh that
snakes was easy
after anaconda
I got two niche
you're still
you're still going
to fast money
yeah here we go
you guys can win
didn't we win
we've beat this
into the ground
haven't we?
Well, it's Friday.
We're going to finish it out.
Family feud week.
We're going to finish it out.
Name something in which you put a single flower.
Yeah.
A grave?
There you go, grave.
This is fast money.
This isn't.
Casket.
Nope, nope.
New question.
Name a sport where both players lose teeth.
Not both.
Dukes?
You want to go?
Boxing?
Guys, this is fast money.
You just got to throw answers out.
Okay, okay, okay.
At the end of the day, name something Indiana Jones might put away in his closet.
A whip.
Yes.
Good answer.
Name something that is thrown at weddings.
Flowers.
No.
Bouquet.
It's fine.
Dukes got it either.
Yeah, I got the next one.
What would be the worst thing to be allergic to?
Peanut butter.
Of course.
I was going to say air would suck.
That's slavery, pretty much.
Fuck.
Show me peanut butter.
Food.
Fuck, I can't have a payday.
All my friends are having a payday.
Was that a good round for us?
No, it was very bad.
Oh, really?
Shit.
You got a total of 413.
Not the worst.
Not even the top five.
Three.
So did we lose to that lady?
No, you got the fast money. You just didn't win the money. Okay, got it. You beat the lady, not even the top five. Three. So did we lose to that lady? No, you got the fast money.
You just didn't win the money.
Okay, got it.
You beat the lady.
You beat the woman.
One and out.
Hell yeah.
Damn, so this is what you guys do?
That's tight.
Yeah.
That's all we do.
For five days.
Cool.
Yeah, it was really good the first couple days.
Yeah.
I beat you yesterday.
Nah, not really.
I don't know.
People are definitely saying that I beat you.
Who's saying that?
I don't know.
Just people whispering in the office.
No direct name.
Dukes, who is the dumbest person here at the office?
You could definitely put my name into the hat.
Who other than you?
I'd say there's some interns that are pretty stupid.
Self-awareness is a sign of intelligence, though.
Yeah, I won't ever call myself the smartest guy in the room.
Fair.
I'm kind of like...
Tough but fair.
I'm good at math.
Nobody should do that.
Nobody should ever call themselves the smartest in the room.
Has anyone ever done that?
Yeah.
Like, I'm the smartest one in this room?
Yes.
Well, depending on what the room you're in.
I assume all elementary school teachers believe that.
Yes?
That's fair.
They're not.
I met a first grade teacher who didn't know
West Virginia was a state a couple weekends ago.
That's...
And her thing was like,
they're not the age to learn states yet.
So I don't have to be.
Fair enough.
She doesn't have to be.
That's great she's as long as
her intelligence is just one ring rung above the first graders she's always good so she it's like
a second grader teaching a first grade yeah yeah so like if if the 13 year old babysitting 10 year
so she just has to learn like the second grade curriculum get that down and then she's
qualified to teach first grade at what age do we teach states i feel like first and second grade is i don't know i sure as
hell knew him if a first grader knows i love alaska arizona arkansas california colorado
delaware florida georgia hawaii ottawa illinois indiana uh no i can't do it you pretty much did
it you could have hummed the rest and i would have said that was right. I loved learning the states.
That was like my favorite thing to learn.
I love states too.
Yeah, because at least it was visual, you know, because you get a map and you can –
I like that better than like –
I remember cramming the 52 countries of Africa one time.
That was fun.
Yeah.
Because you make little things to remember like Burundi kind of looks like a pair of underwear.
Burundi. I always thought – pair of underwear. Burundi.
I always thought I always would slide in the Digibooty joke.
Yeah.
I wouldn't even say a joke.
I'd just be like, there's Digibooty.
That's funny.
That was my comedy back then.
Yeah.
Digibooty.
Multiple occasion tables.
My history teacher posted her boob on Instagram the other day.
Really?
Yeah, breastfeeding.
Aw.
I never know how to
handle breastfeeding posts.
I'm always just like, respect, and then I just
move on. I passed a breastfeeder
walking out of this office
the other day. I was walking out of the
office. She walked into this office
baby on her tit.
Not the office, the building.
I don't get the concept.
It's a very simple concept.
I get it.
There's milk in a tin.
Straightforward concept.
Feeding a child, keeping a child alive.
Can only the baby get the milk out?
No.
No, I think anything could.
You could.
You could fill a bottle up with breast milk.
There are also pumps.
They're able to get the...
Yeah, like the whole nicking thing, I don't get that concept.
Like the nick, like you ever see those?
It's like pew, pew, pew, pew.
Oh, you mean like where it extracts the milk?
Yeah.
I don't know either.
I think it uses some sort of vacuum.
I don't know though.
Vacuum and baby teeth.
I don't know the technology behind breasts.
Wish Kate were here, we could ask.
She goes upstairs and do it every day.
Do you remember there was like a mini documentary on this mom who still breastfeeds her 12-year-olds?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Come on in.
Come on.
Come on in.
Fuck it.
Whoever's at the office can be on the act.
Should I give her my seat?
No.
No.
Okay.
I'll fall in.
I'll give her my seat.
They're just grabbing people.
I was just a victim that was walking by.
You came very willingly.
Yeah.
Lady Clams, welcome.
We're playing Family Feud.
Thank you for having me.
Yeah, let's fire up a feud for Rhea to play.
Okay.
Yeah, we're playing Family Feud.
We're trying to see who gets the highest and lowest score.
Okay.
You understand how competitions work?
Yeah, I do.
Okay.
Rhea, Dukes, Rudy.
We'll rotate guesses. Okay. I feel like we work? Yeah, I do. Okay, Rhea, Dukes, Rudy. We'll rotate guesses.
Okay.
I feel like we're being hazed.
No, we're just trying to get through the hour.
If you perform very poorly, it'll feel like a haze.
To have a show.
Name something a woman might consider trading with her best friend for one day.
Rhea.
Clothes.
Clothes.
Don't know why I repeated that.
Let's go.
Nice.
Rudy.
Shoes. Good answer. Oh, shit. They I repeated that. Let's go. Rudy. Shoes.
Good answer.
Oh, shit.
They already said that.
Bad answer.
I didn't see that it said slash shoes.
Time's a ticking.
Dukes.
Jewelry.
Good answer.
Good answer.
Oh.
Show me, boyfriend.
I was going to say that.
I was going to say men.
Yeah.
I think boyfriend would have been. Yeah, boyfriend probably would have been.
They surveyed a boring hundred.
Car?
Car, yes.
Probably not.
Yes.
All right.
Bra.
Really? If you need one. Are you ready? Yes, Probably not. Yes. All right. Bra. Really?
Gross.
If you need one.
Are you ready?
Yes, it is.
Close.
Boyfriend.
Good, Dukes.
Dude, we're a sick team.
Secrets, kids.
What do you mean trade kids?
Husband, partner.
Yeah, it's not just a man.
It could be any.
Give me those kids for the day.
Quick shout out to Cannabis Lifestyle TV YouTube channel with 155,000 subs in the chat right now.
Talking weed.
He's talking weed?
He's talking about passing the dutchie to the dutchie chat.
Nice.
Thanks for watching.
He can DM me and send stuff.
I'm down.
All right, double points.
Boys and girls.
Name something a stay-at-home mom might turn on several times a day.
Her husband.
The TV.
True.
I'm going to go gender roles.
The stove.
Oh, wow.
Yep.
Should be.
Sexist.
Lights.
That's a good answer.
That's facts.
What?
Name something you stay at home.
The thing you watch your kids on.
Yeah, put that.
Baby monitor.
Baby monitor.
No.
We're close.
That would be all day.
Stepson?
What about showers?
Vibrator.
Does anyone feel like these are stupid questions?
Radio tunes?
They all are.
Who calls the radio tunes?
They're on some tunes.
Stay at home, Mom.
Do you call soda pop?
No.
Okay.
You seem like you would, Brandon.
Do you call a water fountain a bubbler? First of all, you don't walk in here. What do you call homeless people, Mom? Do you call soda pop? No. Okay. You seem like you would, Brandon. Do you call a water fountain a bubbler?
First of all, you don't walk in here. What do you call homeless
people, Brandon? The homies.
Brandon, stop. I don't call them at all.
Brandon, stop being a hoe over there.
You are being a hoe. Stop being a hoe-ass.
Close your leg. Quit trifling.
Brandon's a slut.
Quit trifling. Shut up. Trifling ass bitch.
Shut up, you. Name something that's thicker than
water.
Cum. Cum.
Okay.
Clay.
What?
I mean, cum is thicker than water.
Oil.
Guys, say blood.
God damn it.
Oil.
Blood.
Nice.
Yeah, blood.
Say blood.
Blood.
A smoothie.
Yeah.
My ex-girlfriend.
Jesus. What? So she-girlfriend. Jesus.
What?
So she's a human.
A milkshake.
Pudding and syrup?
Those are both thicker than water.
We're brutal at this.
I think you won, though.
We won.
Oh, wow.
Fast money round.
Nice.
All right, finish it strong.
Finish it strong.
Fast money round.
Do we have five?
No, we have six.
Movie. Okay. Doug we have six. Movie.
Okay, Doug's going first.
Movie.
Film.
No.
If a man ran out of deodorant named a fruit,
he might rub under his pits to hide deodorant.
A fruit.
Enrique.
Rhea.
Rudy.
Enrique.
A man ran out of deodorant named a fruit.
An orange.
Bananas.
Show me orange. Cucumber. What? ran out of your name of fruit. An orange. Bananas. Show me orange.
Cucumber?
What?
They don't have any.
Cucumber's not a fruit, is it?
Name a reptile people keep as a pet.
Snake.
Snake.
Who's breathing mad loud?
That's me.
That's me.
When a cow sees the farmer walking toward him...
I'm not reading that.
What does he hope the farmer is going to do?
Milk him.
Fuck.
What?
China.
Vietnam, too.
No, they're saying how come they say made and where.
That's an opinion question.
That definitely is an opinion question.
Oh, it's saying where are toys often made is the question.
But the wording was weird.
The wording was weird.
For you.
For you, it was weird.
They should have a longer time.
If it wasn't weird for you, you're weird.
You should be able to read it for longer.
Brandon, you're being a hoe again.
He's trifling again.
I'm being a hoe.
Yeah.
Oh, that's your hoe?
That's our hoe, too.
LOL.
I thought I recognized it.
Drake album was out.
Did we talk about that yet?
We haven't.
How's that Drizzy hit in Rio?
Hard.
Is this what you guys do in here?
Yeah, pretty much. And you just you just yeah i asked the same exact
question it feels uncomfortable why it is well yeah today particularly it is yeah yeah because
you guys don't just get comfortable friday there's not many people facilitator here why don't i start
the conversation please let me ask you guys this please Please. Specifically, Brandon, because I've asked everyone else in this room this question before.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Brandon, if you were to come into a fine woman's mouth and she took that cum and wanted to spit it back into your mouth and have you swallow it, what would you do?
And she's a fine woman, 10 out of 10.ihanna i would i would not want it so it's me
no i would not i would not i would reject it i would not like that no i would hate that by the
way why at that point i've already come so why am i trying to impress her so that's what everyone
else is saying is like the the horniness factor is now gone. Correct, yes. The desperation is gone. But if you're face-to-face
and this hot girl is like,
let me just put it in your mouth
and you're going to swallow it.
No, that's an emphatic no.
The hardest of no's.
A physical no.
A verbal no wouldn't do the trick.
You've got to turn away.
I feel like Zah's thinking about it.
Who said yes?
Did anyone say yes or even maybe?
Some people said yes,
depending on...
I don't think it's that big of a deal.
I think that at some point...
Have you done it before?
No, I never have,
but at the end of the day,
it's not that weird
because it's almost like recycling.
It's like eating your shit or piss or vomit.
It's like the way clouds work and rain.
Right.
It's the ecosystem.
No, it's not.
Cumulonimbus load.
What do you mean?
Yeah, exactly.
How is it like a cloud at all?
Like when it rains, it hits the ground and then it goes back up.
And then it goes into the ocean and then the ocean evaporates. I don't know how to describe it, but you know the picture I'm then it goes back up. And then it goes into the ocean, and then the ocean evaporates.
I don't know how to describe it, but you know the picture I'm thinking of in a textbook.
So the rain is come.
Yeah, I do know exactly what it is.
So the rain is come, and the atmosphere is your throat.
It's like a circle.
It's just a circle.
Exactly that.
All right.
Mount Rushmore of cum shots.
Yeah.
The back.
Okay. The back. The face. Oh, let's not actually do that. the back the back the face
oh let's not actually do that
I'm kidding
guys come on
we're keeping it clean
you came in hot with that opening
yeah you asked to start the conversation
that's what you started
because you guys were boring me
that's exactly what I'm talking about
that's the picture
so we got to do the cum cycle
so just make it the cum cycle.
All right, so precipitation, you bust a load.
Collection, it's in her mouth.
She evaporates it into your mouth, and then it condenses back.
Back into the body.
Through your body into your ballsack.
And then once again, it comes out.
Exactly.
I kind of nailed it.
Yeah.
Yeah, cum can never be created nor destroyed.
Saturdays are for the boys flag as your cum rag.
Pardon my take towel.
I'm going to have to get up from the seat.
Damn.
This is the yak.
Award winning load.
For every unwell cropped crew neck I had to throw out
Brandon, you gonna take control of the show?
It's not my show at all
I'm just having my sitting in the middle
You are the host
I'm not really, I'm just sitting in the middle
Emphasis on the host
And you're the only one who hosts things
You host anus?
Oh yes, true
Chicks in the office
Yeah, why don't you host the anus?
That's what I'm saying
Well, I already You're a guest So yes, yes, true. Chicks in the office. Yeah, why don't you host the anus? That's what I'm saying. Well, I already... You're a guest.
So, yes.
Okay.
I did throw something out there, and everyone was uncomfortable with it.
Fine.
Let's ask KFC his sick and twisted ass.
Yeah.
Oh, K...
Get in here, Kevin.
He'll love this question.
He'll love this.
Kevin, you'll love this question.
You actually will.
Wearing sweatpants?
This is the yaks.
The yaks.
We just answered it.
We all had different answers.
Okay, ready?
Question for you.
Okay.
A girl, fine ass woman.
Real hot.
10 out of 10, girl.
Right, right, right.
You come in her mouth.
Whoa, okay.
Coming in hot.
Okay.
All right.
Easy.
You come in her mouth, and she says, well, she doesn't say it.
Because before that, she says, I'm going to take the cum and spit it back in your mouth and you got to swallow it.
Or maybe she doesn't even tell you.
She just goes and does it.
Are you going to swallow that cum?
Why?
Are there yeses in the room?
No, no, no.
There are some people who have caveats.
Who's saying yes?
Zah, what are you pointing to?
I kind of said yes.
We're having a different conversation.
Is it like... I'm a different conversation. Is it like...
No, I'm a hard no.
Is it like she's, you know,
all my dreams and, like,
and I'll never get to, like,
fuck her again unless I do this?
There's no ultimatum.
She just asked.
She bagged, maybe.
I could just say, hey, it's Rihanna,
and then everyone would say, yes, of course, Rihanna.
I'm going to do that. You know, it's Rihanna, and then everyone would say, yes, of course, Rihanna. I'm going to do that.
You know, it's so much easier to say no now.
But you're in the moment.
In the moment, there's a chance.
In a moment, there's a chance I'll say yes to fucking any TNT.
You know what I mean?
Good pull.
Good pull.
Kevin, I feel like.
I wouldn't want Rihanna to think I'm like a
Like a prude pussy
What is happening here?
I feel like I'm losing my mind with you guys
We're thinking about the 18-year-old
So Kevin, yours is a maybe
You don't want to put it down as a definite no
I'll try anything once
Heat of the moment
I'm prone to do anything
Don't want to be viewed as a prude,
I could be persuaded.
I could be persuaded.
So you went from who the hell said
yes to being like, yeah, I
would. In seconds. Well,
I'm also just, I'm surprised that,
I mean, there's no way you're even considering this.
I don't like the conversation.
That's why I was very surprised.
Can I also preface this, by the way,
this wasn't just, we talked about this on Because We Got High. I didn't like the conversation. Yeah. That's why I was very surprised. Can I also preface this, by the way? Like, this wasn't just, we talked about this on Because We Got High.
Like, I didn't just sit down and look at all you and say, you know.
Yeah.
Fran was asking me the same question.
I'm sure she was.
Can I pull you aside, talk to you real quick?
I can't.
Friend of Fran.
I cannot imagine.
Between you and me, KB.
I did not run this one by Fran.
Homeboy to homegirl.
Fran would be so upset if I was sitting in this room.
She'd be upset to know this was happening right now.
She'd come in here and pull me out.
KB, don't you dare play with me.
Tell me the truth.
So you said yes or what?
No, I said no.
You're a poor little bitch boy, you know?
I said maybe too.
I mean, like at some point.
It's not going to be my favorite thing.
The way I see it.
I don't even want to see that happen.
It was just a genuine question.
I would be such a pussy that I didn't want to.
Your yes?
It's one of those things.
He's so disappointed.
Who cares?
What is the other one?
Have you guys ever tasted your own cuties?
No, no, no.
But I've always wondered.
I've always wondered.
You've never like jerked off and a little bit got on your stomach and you just dip your finger in?
So the AT&T girl went live on Instagram.
Yes, people were sexualizing her.
Yeah, and she was complaining about...
She didn't want to be a pair of tits.
She wanted to be a phone girl.
But what I liked was in the replies of the Instagram live was a Mommy Melker chant.
Yeah, it was.
She was crying.
It was The most traumatic
Moment of her life
That people liked
Their titties
Dumping bottle emojis
Thanks Kevin
I got something
Did you guys
Is it just me
Or did any of you guys
Think that GoDaddy
Was like a porn website
Growing up
I thought it was
Yeah
It was only until
Two years ago
I found out
That it was an insurance company
It was ambiguous
Or no they made websites
The commercials
They would have
Danica Patrick almost masturbate.
Yeah.
They were super sexual Super Bowl commercials.
And the name Go Daddy, I mean, that's not a very, it doesn't make you think, oh, that's
probably an insurance company.
It's not subtle.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
Call up White Sox Dave and ask him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll send it to you.
Oh, wait.
Send it to me.
I just asked for his number.
I didn't mean to say it right now.
Will you call him in here?
Get him on the line.
I think if Rhea called him personally, he would.
If I FaceTime him?
Yeah.
But he's not going to have my number.
White Sox Dave is the guy.
He answers FaceTime.
Okay.
You just call him and Rhea will talk.
Should I FaceTime Eddie? Oh, no. He wouldn't answer. He would FaceTime. Okay, yeah, you just call him and Rhea will talk. Should I FaceTime Eddie?
Oh, no, he wouldn't answer.
He would get embarrassed.
Yeah.
Do you guys have White Sox Dave's number in there?
We're not actually doing three hours, are we?
No, it's two and a half, maybe.
Wait, what?
You guys are sitting, you do this show for how long?
From one to three, yeah.
What time is it now?
Oh, my God, I'm going to get up right after this call.
It's 1.48.
1.48.
So, Brandon, you're a tits guy?
Huge tits guy, yeah.
Yeah.
Big tits guy.
Did you see the clip where Fernando Tatis said he's an ass guy by putting out his left hand?
People do that nowadays.
It seems like the most uncomfortable show you guys have ever done.
No, no.
No, it's not.
Is it not?
No.
Let's do a bottom four episode.
This is pretty standard when the funny people aren't here.
Well, aside from KB.
This has got to be bottom four.
I'm trying to read the room right now, and there's an interesting energy.
What is it?
I can't read.
I can't read it.
Well, Brandon turns into a different human when he's hosting the Yak.
It's almost like he forgot how to speak.
He does everything else phenomenally.
But then when it's like this setting, this show, you turn into like a nervous schoolboy presenting a capstone.
I was fine until she said the dumb question.
He also doesn't shut up at our desk.
I know.
That's not true at all.
You don't shut the fuck up.
We're talking about it over there.
Bet you don't know.
Sheesh.
Shut up, you cunt.
All right.
No.
Yes, we sit beside each other.
We have a good time.
And people are talking over there, and they're like,
Brandon has gotten really confident in this area.
He doesn't shut up when he sits over here.
And that's been the conversation.
No, first of all,
Fran doesn't talk about what happens over there.
Nick doesn't turn around.
It's just me and you.
We're the only ones that say anything.
Nick and Fran have been telling me
when you're not around
that they don't really like you in that corner.
They prefer when KB's over there.
Oh, shit.
I thought I was going to get Tristan's desk,
but Suicide Jerry got it.
Really?
He hasn't even been here
the last two days.
I've had a desk.
Are you guys calling White Sox, Dave?
Yeah, I think.
No answer.
Who else do we call?
I'll call him. He'll answer me.
White Sox Dave would be great.
I don't have
his phone number. I've been don't have his phone number.
I've been trying to get his phone number.
It's tough.
He's a tough guy to reach.
It seems like he would be like that.
Yeah.
I get anxiety when people fucking call me.
I just don't answer.
Hello?
Yo, what's good, boss?
What's up?
All right, Rhea has a question for you.
Ask him. Ask him to pick up.
Tell him I'll call him again.
Actually, we're going to hang up.
Zah's going to call you.
Pick up this phone call.
All right, brother.
Peace, brother.
One love.
I have a feeling it's going to be a yes.
Or he's going to say no and then quickly turn to yes.
The whole goal is to get him
to elaborate.
Right.
See where it goes.
As to where he would go with it.
I'm going to give him no...
No Rihanna or anything.
It's just a girl.
Just a hot ass girl.
It has to be a hot ass girl.
What?
Rihanna's not like some
end all be all
deity of women.
Be careful talking about Rihanna.
I heard she smells good.
She smells amazing.
I've smelled her.
She smells...
I have.
She smells so good.
I swear to God.
Dave.
What's up?
All right, Rhea has a question for you.
I have a question.
Are you ready?
All right.
Say you are having...
Are you on an Amtrak with the windows open?
I'm in my car.
I just turned the air off.
Oh, yeah.
We don't want background noise.
Okay, you're fornicating,
and you come in a girl's mouth,
and she's a hot girl,
and the girl then wants to spit your cum
that she has in her mouth back into your mouth,
and you have to swallow it.
Are you going to do that?
Baby bird.
Absolutely fucking not.
Why not?
Because that's absolutely vile and disgusting and I want to puke just even thinking about it.
She's a very hot girl.
What if we described the girl better?
Yeah.
I don't care if it's the honest Instagram model.
Are you an ass or titties guy?
Ass or titties guy uh i mean i
i'm not prejudiced against either okay she's got big ass titties what if she spent most of the
early 2000s on the top pop charts depends on who who are thinking of? Who comes to mind when he says that?
White Sox Dave is not a Rihanna guy.
He is a Kate Upham.
His mind went to Shakira.
Like Jessica Simpson in the Dukes of Hazzard.
That's who he is.
Somebody just tweeted at me to answer your question at Barceloria.
Yes, this guy's a freak.
I'm just like, you know, I don't want to do that.
I was just asking.
Let me pull the trigger on that one, on that tweet.
Tell that guy to DM the Yak.
We'll send him a Gluck Gluck 9000 hoodie.
I mean, why am I the one being...
I've asked everybody.
It's not just you.
You're not special.
No.
Yeah, we just got to.
Wait, wait, wait.
I got one for you. It's the girl you. You're not special. No. Yeah, we just got to. Wait, wait, wait. I got one for you.
It's the girl at the diner.
Wow.
No.
Absolutely.
Well, she's like a normal girl.
Normal in the sense that she's afraid of you.
Where was she doing?
Where's Smitty at?
Oh, my God.
You want Smitty to do it? Well, Smitty was
the guy who did try to do it.
Well, would you
swallow Smitty's cup?
I would not.
You gave a
stronger no to the other one
than the Smitty question.
College football season, any
futures?
Where the fuck are you going? You're going to Northwestern, aren't you?
Where the fuck are you going?
I'm driving to drop my dog off so I can drive Uber up to Evanston
to go watch Northwestern absolutely dismantle the Michigan State Spartans.
Let's go.
The ugly one or the other one?
Which?
Ugly who?
Dog.
I mean, that's fucked up.
That's not right.
You can make fun of me all you want and ask me all these weird hypotheticals.
Nick and I always, when he does the ranking thing on his Instagrams where we always vote the lowest for cuteness just to skew the poll.
It's a cute dog.
It's not really.
It's an average dog.
Yeah.
Brandon, are you a dog guy?
He's a... Yes, what an average dog. Yeah. Brandon, are you a dog guy? He's the...
Yes, what?
My dog actually came from Mississippi.
They found him in a dumpster at an Ace Hardware.
That's how fucked up people from Mississippi are.
What town did he find him in?
Tupelo.
No, so you just made that.
That's the only town you know.
That's the only fucking town you know.
No, I believe him.
Jackson?
There's not even an Ace Hardware in Tupelo.
Really?
I don't know.
He just bodied you by naming a second city in Mississippi, by the way.
He's about to pull Hattiesburg out of his hat.
You just pulled three other cities out of my ass, and you guys didn't even acknowledge my correctness.
Oh, yeah, go.
Just name more.
I've been to the casinos in Biloxi a handful of times.
Biloxi a handful of times. Biloxi.
You got to say it at least kind of right to get credit for it.
I just was fully right.
I got to get out of here.
Are you leaving?
I'm leaving.
All right.
See you, Rhea.
What else did you like to talk about, Brandon?
How is Mississippi State going to be this year?
We were done talking.
Do I have to stay too?
No, the show's pretty much over, so we're about to leave.
If y'all can just wait two minutes, you can actually end the show.
Cool.
I'll stick around.
Casey.
Actually, we're not on Sling, right?
So we can end it now.
Yeah, okay.
All right, bud.
What?
Let's keep going.
Yeah.
I can't.
Hello, Casey.
Smith, get in here.
Oh, God.
Fool.
Come on. I guess the show's over.
The show's over.
Wait.
I was messing with you.
What?
We're still on.
We're still on.
We're still on.
Damn, I thought they really pulled the plug.
No, if you want to.
If you want to, I'll send it off.
Should I?
Do you actually want to talk to me?
Brandon's up to you.
Should I?
It's up to you.
I was messing with you.
No.
You don't want to actually talk to me? I do. I'd love to talk to you on a personal level. No, I don't up to you. Should I? It's up to you. I was missing the unity. You don't want to actually talk to me?
I do.
I'd love to talk to you on a personal level.
No, I don't have to go.
If you guys want to take this.
Casey, plans for the weekend?
We have a bet.
My flashes are playing everyone's Aggies.
Oh, yeah.
We didn't come up with a bet.
Did Nick come up with a bet?
No.
What did he say?
I don't know.
The bet is 17 and a half?
No, it was 28 and a half. No, it was like 28 and a half.
Oh, yeah.
Better for me.
You're going to take Kent State?
Kent State, yeah.
Why don't you come up with a bet between me and you?
I'm not a good bet comer.
They will be within 28.
That's just not true.
It could be true.
You don't know.
I mean, would you put your money on Kent State?
Kyle gets to host an episode of Unnecessary Roughness,
or Casey gets to host an episode of Unnecessary Roughness or Casey gets to host an episode of Anus.
So if I...
No, it's a pun.
Just an LLL.
Yeah.
Lose, lose, lose.
Catch 22.
What, you don't think you could do it?
What?
Host Unnecessary Roughness?
No.
I don't want to host Anus either.
Okay.
Well, let's figure something else out.
You're very dressed today.
I shot commercials today.
For what?
I don't know if I'm supposed to say yet.
You can say whatever.
I don't think I'm from a sales standpoint.
You can tell me whatever.
Apparently, though, what I shot today has something to do with you,
and I don't really understand what it is.
Oh, is it going to be on the Brandon Walker College Football Show,
which debuts in four hours?
Congratulations, by the way.
Are you nervous?
No.
You've definitely had this
conversation before? No, we haven't.
No. We really haven't.
Kind of awkward. Well, no, I text
him about it.
He's cheating on me.
Text me this morning. Congratulations.
You know, it's like a wife catching
her husband masturbating. That's the way I feel.
You're jerking off on Sling TV every day, 6 to 7?
We have our thing together, but you want to go off on your own and please yourself.
Would a wife get angry if she caught her husband doing that?
I don't think so.
Somehow I've gotten 15 years without that.
Not a big wife in the suburbs.
Big old wife in the suburbs.
She'll make you comfortable so you can just be it all.
Skinny ass lawn.
White picket kids dainty
little sprinkler.
Yeah.
Big wife.
Big wife.
What's the what's
what do y'all call
the big girls.
Dick.
No.
We call them flat
clothes.
They are devoid of
titties and ass and
tall.
What if they have
titties and ass.
They're not a flat
colossal.
What are they.
I didn't invent that. I invented flat colossal. Then what are they? Just a colossal? I didn't invent that.
I invented flat colossal.
I'll leave that up to the other entrepreneurs.
Okay.
All right.
Well, if you come up with a bet, I'll do it.
Is Dave still on the phone?
That would be funny.
That would be awesome.
You come up with a bet, KB.
I'll do it.
All right.
You'll do it?
Where do you live?
I live... I mean, I'm not going to say that here.
In Manhattan.
Yeah.
I mean, probably a pretty nice place.
Nice apartment?
Yes.
What are the amenities?
All of them.
I have floor-to-ceiling windows.
How high are the ceilings?
Floor-to-ceiling windows.
I do fuck with that heavy.
I feel like I know where you live now.
I have like a pillar in my living room.
It's pretty cool.
What's something that I could enjoy?
Heated floors in my bathroom.
Okay.
A rain shower.
Pull the trigger on this, KB.
A rooftop.
A rooftop.
Go on.
Yes.
A rooftop.
There's one side that overlooks the east side.
There's one side that looks over the Empire State Building.
There's a fireplace room on the rooftop so you can go in and read when it's cold.
Okay.
Me and two people get your apartment for the night
oh my god well what the fuck
do I win because I'm gonna win this
you could get his apartment
how are your amenities
I have all of them
a neon LED
lamp I have a map
canvas I have a
fake palm tree I don't have a steam room. I have a non-LED lamp. I have a map canvas. I have a fake palm tree.
I don't like this bet.
Are you getting a foot cramp, Brandon?
No, I'm good.
He's antsy.
No, I'm not antsy.
It just happens when I sit for too long.
So.
Okay.
He gets your apartment for a night.
No, I don't like that.
So you wouldn't do that even if you had an equal bet?
If I had an equal bet, yes.
Equal prize.
Yes.
Okay, what do you think is equal?
I don't know.
I have to think about it.
One night stand,
you guys have had time to think about it.
No, I mean,
Nick was supposed to come up with it this week
and he just didn't.
All right, we'll text Nick.
Okay.
I don't think he cares.
I don't think he cares either.
I don't think he even remotely
gives a fuck about our bet.
Probably not,
but I wanted a neutral party
to give us a bet.
Do you think he would be neutral?
Probably not.
Actually, he would delight in
yeah
I'll give you my
Chris Lake tickets
no thanks
okay
yeah
we'll figure it out
tweet at us ideas
yeah
alright
alright we're out
thanks for having me guys
we'll be back Tuesday
no shows Monday It's the act It's your project style
It's a true art
It's the act Thank you.