The Yak - The Yak's Got Some ISLAND BOYSSS | The Yak 10-18-21

Episode Date: October 19, 2021

Island boiiiiiiYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Oh, are you wondering what we're wearing right now? Yeah. Dude, this Travis Matthew. Now, it's a presenting sponsor, so we actually will read the ad. But these are the most comfortable hoodies I've ever worn. No joke.
Starting point is 00:00:47 It is an incredible hoodie. I wore the whole jumpsuit yesterday, and I was in the luxury. Yeah, it feels good against my fucking body. Why is it so loud? Why is it so loud? Well, you're loud, too. You're yelling at us. Fucking anus boys.
Starting point is 00:00:59 What is this, a bit? You're loud, too. No, I'm not. Nick, chill out. Sorry. This hoodie just makes me really fucking excited uh but i got the sweatpants on the sweatpants are nice too here's how nice irredeemably loud here's how nice these sweatshirts are i'm asking uh actually no i'm telling nick and kb please do
Starting point is 00:01:18 not fuck up this sponsorship yes because you guys do like to find a way to fuck up our sponsorships you guys are going to start doing a bit about how the do like to find a way to fuck up our sponsorships. You guys are going to start doing a bit about how the cloud hoodies make you want to fuck and all that. Don't. I love that. I'm wearing it. Are you guys going to do a stick? Rave review.
Starting point is 00:01:34 You want to fuck? That's how much I love these hoodies. I'm saying hands off. Roman, you could fuck that up. Sport clip. Have at it Go for it Travis Matthews Deal
Starting point is 00:01:49 Steven's just Panicking Sport clips Sports clips is fucked No no Jesus Christ That's irredeemably loud Irredeemably loud
Starting point is 00:01:59 Steven's got his fogged up glasses Just being like Please no I wore the sweatpants all weekend But not today Okay so that's actually bad Like you're not You're supposed to wash them Why isn't fogged up glasses just being like, please no. I wore the sweatpants all weekend, but not today. Okay, so that's actually bad. Like you're not supposed to wash them.
Starting point is 00:02:09 Why isn't, bro, where's yours? He's wearing sweats. Where's your top? Bro, what am I going to wear in like a two lane cross country, dad? Bro, you look like
Starting point is 00:02:17 You look like an urban outfitter mannequin. Are those the sweatpants? Yeah. What are you going to roast? Your head to toe. Why is no one wearing it? I was wearing mine all weekend.
Starting point is 00:02:29 And it took way longer to smell the balls than usual sweatpants. Should we just do the whole show on these sweatshirts? We had a nice little boys weekend and we just hung out in our Travis Matthews gear. Nice. It's actually Travis Matthew. No S. Travis Matthew gear. I think you were thinking of sports clips.
Starting point is 00:02:47 I thought it was sports clip. That was a joke. I know. I'm kidding. Fuck. Very funny. I was reverse joking on you. Oh, you ratioed me.
Starting point is 00:02:57 I did ratio you. Damn. Good to finally have a win. I ratioed you hard. No. When? When? You just replied ratio decline and it got more likes than my ratio.
Starting point is 00:03:08 Oh, no. But I still ratioed your original tweet. I got ratioed this weekend because I – You got rached. Well, I actually didn't get ratioed, but it was – I tweeted about Aaron Rodgers, how it was despicable what he did to the Bears and saying, I own you. And it got crossed over into a bunch of people who don't know what Barstool is.
Starting point is 00:03:30 So I think right now there's like 2,000 replies and people being like, you're so soft. Speaking of, I don't think I can wear that I own you shirt. I own you shirt, you cannot. You know you were trending because? Was I? Yeah, yeah. I tweeted a screenshot of it. There goes my hero. Yeah, I tweeted a screenshot of it. There goes my hero.
Starting point is 00:03:45 Yeah, you tweeted a screenshot of it with my hero of Foo Fighters. You were trending. Big Cat under entertainment, 4,000 tweets. Whoa. They were all calling me a pussy. Literally all that. Most of them were actually not about you. Kyle, I'm going to dead that one.
Starting point is 00:03:59 Kyle, go ahead. Oh, big news. Big news. Forgot to mention this off the top. This week, Brandon Walker and I will be on Bussin' with the Bullets. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, that's nice. You think they're going to put it out?
Starting point is 00:04:15 Well, they're putting ours out. Yes, they are. We talked about it. They're pushing ours ahead of yours. And yours is never coming out by next year. Yeah, no, we talked about it on the show. They said that it's not coming out. They put yours in the file that when they need one,
Starting point is 00:04:29 when they take a week off, they're going to fire you. That's what they just said. Were you guys really off-putting? We're too raw for Tennessee. I don't know. We just said, are you guys ever putting that out? They're like, probably not. It's like, great.
Starting point is 00:04:41 I'm too raw to even get the invite. I'm too raw to even get the follow back. I should also say. That's how fucking raw rb nicky is uh i thought our episode was very good three people in this room made my top five funniest in barstool rankings that will content asked me for oh hell no that's good i got four y'all in mine i don't even want to know who was it ron nick and kb i don't even want to know. Who was it, Roan, Nick, and KB? I don't even want to know who was it. Just tell me now. If I wasn't on the list,
Starting point is 00:05:13 I'm unfollowing you and everything. Blocking you. You didn't make the list, but I did speak very complimentary of you. You were talked about at length. Effusively praising you. Harold. You're talked about at length. Effusively praising you. Harold. You're just raw, kid. Yeah. But no, Nick. Just not raw enough. Nick and KB combined came in at three. We're dropping
Starting point is 00:05:32 the and. We're going to go with a Montgomery gentry. We're just KB Nick. Okay. Well, Will tried to tell me, he's like, you can't do that. I was like, have you ever seen Nick or KB on their own? They're terrible. Yeah. We had KB on their own? They're terrible. Yeah. No kidding.
Starting point is 00:05:46 We had KB on our podcast alone. And was it just the worst podcast ever? No, it was great. Oh. Thanks. Whoa. And we're going to have Nick on a lot too. Really?
Starting point is 00:05:57 Yeah. Well, we're going to delete your episode and we're going to switch it in for Nick. You're mad about these hypothetical rankings that you didn't want to hear about. Again, he was effusive in his praise at the end of his rankings. Yes. He said you're a future star. Yes, I did. Future star?
Starting point is 00:06:11 Like a rated rookie, like a Donruss rookie card. Then you had Sasson Run 1, me 2, or vice versa. So what was the list? You were 49th right above Megan Macon Money. No, don't put Megan making that. She's funnier than you. You missed a really good episode on Friday. Yeah, was Ebony in here?
Starting point is 00:06:32 She was. Well, yeah, she was in here, but Brandon and Mince are completely delusional. You guys are, and I slept on that. Delusional. I didn't go hard enough on you. Brandon thinks he's a household name in where? All of Mississippi or just your hometown? Starkville, Mississippi.
Starting point is 00:06:46 I'm a household name in Starkville, Mississippi. He's not. A household name? And then Mintz... I said I think I'm known by 50% of people in Starkville. No, Mintz actually made you end up looking way better because then Mintz comes on and we're like, isn't that crazy?
Starting point is 00:06:59 Like Brandon thinks he's a household name in... Starkville. It's easy work to remember. Starkville, Mississippi. And then Mintz goes, Mintz thinks that 58% of Oxford knows him and 100% of the student body. 100% of the student body of Ole Miss knows who he is. What? He's like, well, Ole Miss isn't that big of a school.
Starting point is 00:07:17 It's only like 15,000, 16,000 people. No. He says, oh, I got all the student body. I don't even know how to do this anymore. What? And every one of them know who you are? I don't think, I would say probably 40% of the Wisconsin student body probably knows who I am. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:07:36 Maybe. I can accept that. Maybe. But I actually think that might be high. Yeah. I think that's probably high. I think it's probably more like 25. Do you guys talk to humans outside of the office?
Starting point is 00:07:49 Yeah, 25% maybe have heard of barstools. I would say we're single digits at our alma maters, like percentage known. Yeah, that's not me. Not you. No, but I don't think it's more than – it's 25 to 30 actually. I have a different background. Yeah, but that's a lot of people. It's a lot of people.
Starting point is 00:08:08 That don't consume the internet. So we called Starkville businesses to see if they knew Brandon Walker. And? One for three. Oh, no. And what was the one that we called? It was family owned? No, it wasn't my family.
Starting point is 00:08:20 You want to try a couple more? I do not. We should try a couple more. Well, I think Roan would be very good at it. I did not enjoy Friday very much. Because Brandon wants to run for mayor of Starkville in three years. Yeah. Three years?
Starting point is 00:08:31 I said, what happened to the King of Sling? I said, what percentage? I'll just take it down there. What percentage chance do you have giving me a victory? And I think, do I have a 50% chance to win in three years? Do I have a 30% chance to win in three years? What's your Q rating? He said 25%.
Starting point is 00:08:47 I'm over that. It's not about that anymore. It's about whether or not you're a household name. We need to have like a purge. Household name admittedly sounds strong now in retrospect. We need to have a mass humbling at Barstool. We need to have a purge-like event where everybody gets humbled to fuck. Guys, this has nothing to do with Barstool at all.
Starting point is 00:09:04 You guys are acting like I'm going to – this has nothing to do with Barstool at all. You guys are acting like I'm going to... This has nothing to do with Barstool. You think it's the Mississippi State podcast? Yes, I did a Mississippi State podcast. I did Mississippi State stuff. How many people listen to that podcast? A lot. How many?
Starting point is 00:09:13 I was getting about 10,000 listens. But that's still... How big is Starkville? It's 20,000, 22,000 people. But everyone who listens to the podcast lives in Starkville? No chance. No chance. No chance. But still, when you have the student body there, there's a lot of people that are aware of who I am.
Starting point is 00:09:30 I'm not saying they love me. I'm saying aware that I exist. So we should call some more people. It has nothing to do with Barstool. It was just the Mississippi State history. I think you have a better chance of running for mayor if you tell people that fewer people know you and come in being like, oh, no one knows me. But if you tell people everyone already knows you, I feel like that lessens your chance of being mayor. I feel like that lessens the likability or votability.
Starting point is 00:09:52 I don't think me getting hired at Barstool changed my Q rating in Starville one iota. What? I mean, Kirk Herbstreet knew you as the Mississippi State guy, did he not? He did. That's helpful. Just the bluest eyes I've ever seen on a human being. Yeah, he did have very blue eyes. More than our security guard yes i've never seen they were incredible caribbean blue i couldn't stop looking he's an island boy he's an island was there any sense of him no so that's
Starting point is 00:10:17 insane yeah mincy came in way more confident than brandon that's insane he was like laughing that brandon thought he brand Brandon thought it was 50%. And then he was like, yeah, I would say about 58% of Oxford knows me. What? And 100% of the school. He said the whole school. He's not even from there. I'm from there.
Starting point is 00:10:35 That's so crazy. It was a crazy thing. Does he know how many people are just not even? I don't think half of America knows who the president is. Yeah. I agree. I really don't think that people are aware as we all think of everything. We have a Twitter bubble, and inside of that there's a barstool bubble.
Starting point is 00:10:50 It's small. The Twitter bubble, only like 20% of adults have Twitter. Within that, it's like half a percentage knows what barstool is. Within that, it's like 1 in 15 knows what Barstow is. Within that, it's like 1 in 15 know who mints it. I was wrong. A school these sizes. You got to get them into a corn cob. I was wrong.
Starting point is 00:11:13 I was wrong. Like a school Wisconsin size. I don't want to break Brandon's confidence. I overestimated. My bad. I'm sorry. I overestimated. I swung for the fences.
Starting point is 00:11:23 Hey, Brandon, there's still a chance. I popped out to the shortstop. You're popular. I actually think you're fine. It's Mincy that I'm shocked by. I want to be like, what is going on? Get his deluded ass in here. We could get him in.
Starting point is 00:11:33 A mass humbler. I want to hear. He can be. Keep him in the. I'll go get him. Yeah, you will. I always go get people. Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 00:11:41 That's what I'm saying. Yeah, you will. Go get him. I'd like to be humbled as well, please. I know. But like Wisconsin, right? There's 30,000, I think, undergrads. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, you will. I'd like to be humbled as well, please. I know. But like Wisconsin, right? There's 30,000, I think, undergrads. 28,000. Half of
Starting point is 00:11:50 them probably don't even really care about sports. So you cut off half right away. I don't think 1% of Penn State knows me. We need to define household name. I think I would be 4% at WVU, but 1% of those people would know that I went there.
Starting point is 00:12:07 Barstool fans. Right, right. There'd be a lot of people who'd be like, oh, shit. How? Well, if you go places, people won't even know who you are. They'll be like, not you specifically. I'm talking about any of us. They'll be like, oh, what's up, Barstool?
Starting point is 00:12:19 Yeah, that is me. Like you are Barstool. Can we do an anti-humbling? We need to get TJ up to 10K on Twitter. He's right on the precipice. Oh, we anti-humbling? We need to get TJ up to 10K on Twitter. He's right on the precipice. Oh, we got to get TJ there. Got to get TJ up to 10K. At TJ Hitchings.
Starting point is 00:12:29 At TJ Hitchings. TJ 10K. TJ just all of a sudden works his ass. He does Pick Central. He does my show. All of a sudden, he's always right. He's always right. I know, but.
Starting point is 00:12:38 But he just took a guy like me. He's everywhere that I go now. It's fantastic. TJ's great. You can eat your cake, brother. Can we pull up his Twitter? I want to see those numbers grow every refresh. Social blade.
Starting point is 00:12:51 Not very good at clapping and rhythm. Now we can't do that. Let's get those Twitter numbers up. I actually have to do a plug real quick. I have to do a plug, but it's not related to me. I just have to shout someone out. No, no, no. I have to.
Starting point is 00:13:04 I have to. I told him I would. Here we go. We shouldn't do anything until we get this, no, no. I have to. I have to. I told him I would. We shouldn't do anything until we get this to 10,000. Once the T-Tag gets to 10,000, you can do your little plug. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's kind. Once you hit 10K, they say your name with grace in Mississippi. That's right.
Starting point is 00:13:18 Oh, and why? Oh, it's an island boy. We're at a little bit of a plateau. Oh, yeah. Did you prank me the other day? Yeah, I thought you assumed. That's why I didn't tell you. No, I didn't know.
Starting point is 00:13:33 That was really funny. We called Jordan Woodruff, acting like she was a Mississippi business in Starkville. She said she knew Ben Mintz and didn't know Brandon Warner. And Brandon was devastated. We assumed he knew it was a prank. Oh, I spent the whole afternoon angry as hell. Trying to find out what business it was. I declined an appetizer when I went out to dinner with my wife.
Starting point is 00:13:54 I said, no, I don't feel like it. You declined an app? Yep. What was it? Huh? Or you just didn't order one? No, I didn't get crab cakes. They look so good.
Starting point is 00:14:02 Oh, that's a delightful app. You've got to get the crab cakes. Did you snap on anyone? I didn't snap on anyone. Oh, that's a delightful app. You've got to get the crab cakes. Did you snap on anyone? I didn't snap on anyone. Did you shoot any pastry boys in the foot? What's up with the lights flashing? I'm going to have a seizure. I only know how to speak in Spanish.
Starting point is 00:14:14 Look in the corner of the room. Brandon did snap at the college football show in Knoxville. That was good snapping. Threw a golf ball at Lane Kiffin. Yeah, that was you. That sucks. Was it just like a golf ball at Lane Kiffin. Yeah, that was you. That sucks. Was it just like a full-on dad snap? No, he snapped because he started talking about Ole Miss
Starting point is 00:14:32 and then just went off the fucking reservation. Threw a helmet at the crowd. Yeah, probably should have done that. Holy shit. There's a graveyard of broken candles in his backyard, too. What's the Twitter account, TJ? It was very entertaining. Let's boost the numbers on the UTEP competition.
Starting point is 00:14:48 Oh, Jesus, Ty. They just became bowl eligible UTEP. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He's an island boy. Get that, Kay. Can we watch the island boy video? I love the island boy video.
Starting point is 00:15:01 That sounds so good. I'm thinking over the fact that Mincy said that. 100%. He was totally serious. Oh, dead serious. What? Yeah, can we get him in here? Like 100% of J. Chris doesn't even know who like Leonardo DiCaprio is.
Starting point is 00:15:16 Right. Like 100, that's every single person that was there. What percentage knows like Anna DeMatteo? Like 100% is like Eli Manning. Like not even. No, Eli Manning. Like not even. No, Eli Manning I think would be a hundred percent. But there's almost no singularity. There's one person there who doesn't know who Eli Manning is.
Starting point is 00:15:31 Yeah, born exchange student. There's one person at any school that doesn't know who Eli Manning is. Who is the fucking person you just said, KB? I just like to be in on this. Who is it? Who is it? I'd like to be in on this. She's hot. Or I don't know if she's I'd like to be in on this. She's hot.
Starting point is 00:15:45 Or I don't know if she's hot. I think she's very hot. What's her name? I'm aging out of my attraction toward Anna Kendrick and more toward every female Sopranos cast member. Oh, is this, who is this? Who's who? Who's the person you're saying? She played Christopher's girlfriend.
Starting point is 00:16:07 Also known as Adriana. Adriana. KB only learns their real life names. I don't focus on names. I don't know any of the Squid Game people's names, but I love the show. Guess one. I can't. Did you guys watch Squid Game in Korean or English?
Starting point is 00:16:22 I've heard the subtitles. Subtitles. Did you see the SNL? Do you watch Squid Game in Korean or English? I've heard the subtitles. Yeah, I can't do it. Did you see the SNL? Oh, Squid Game. Fuck that in the face. I feel like SNL hasn't been that bad so far. He watches SNL.
Starting point is 00:16:34 Oh, it's because you want to get casted? Yeah. But also, I watched all the sketches yesterday, and I laughed out loud at a couple of them. Lauren's the GOAT still, and if he lost Sass's phone number, it's pretty easy. Ron, why are you sitting so low? You're sitting low today. He's relaxing in those
Starting point is 00:16:49 Travis masks. Lauren is 100% goaded. Right, Sass? Oh, man. My head hurts. Mincy. Mincy. Before Mincy sits down, I have to give a shout out to my boy Tyler Batten.
Starting point is 00:17:05 I have to. Mincy sits down, I have to give a shout-out to my boy Tyler Batten. No, no. I have to. Mincy. Mincy, please don't tell me that you think 100% of Ole Miss knows who you are. That is an agree. Run the tapes. Run the tapes. I feel good about most Ole Miss.
Starting point is 00:17:20 I said Oxford not. How about the Ole Miss student body? Ole Miss student body, 100 is probably an egregious overstatement. But I'd say 80 at least. That's still a lot, man. It's a lot. I feel good. Ole Miss is a smaller school, though. How small is Ole Miss?
Starting point is 00:17:34 About 12, 13,000. Maybe 15 counting grad school. It's not as big, and it's like closer. Okay. So, I think that part of it is a big part of it. What about the Alpha Phi house? The what? Alpha Phi.
Starting point is 00:17:48 Hypothetically, the Alpha Phi house. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. What about the Kappa Kappa Gamma? Get the island boy ready. Oh! 10K. I have something in planned.
Starting point is 00:18:01 Congratulations. Okay. Oh. Oh, he's got the Viva without the brim! The Viva! Viva! Viva! Viva!
Starting point is 00:18:13 Viva! What a hat! Oh, my God. That's an incredible hat. Do we sell those? We should. Brimless Viva. Show that again.
Starting point is 00:18:24 He's got the Viva with no brim. It says Aviv from my angle, like an Israelite. Tel Aviv? Yeah. All right, that's all I had, Mincey. All right. Have a good day. I heard 100%.
Starting point is 00:18:34 It shocked me. It was probably. I'd say that. What about biochemical engineers? My guess is 30% of the Wisconsin student body knows who I am. Wisconsin's got massive, what, 40, 50,000 of them? Yeah, but I'm also. You're also 40 times bigger falling than I am.
Starting point is 00:18:50 Right. The percentages don't change when the number goes up. Yeah, you're falling. So I'd say 30% 30 to 40 times bigger. But you think Ole Miss is 80%? I think they at least have heard my name, yeah. Got it. I do think.
Starting point is 00:19:06 Okay. Alright, well then you're crushing it. You're fucking crushing it, then. Thank you, Big Cat. I appreciate it. It's going to be a great week. Sorry everyone through golf. What is Brandon? Brandon, what are you doing? Nothing. What's your problem, Brandon? I wasn't doing anything. I can't wait for the Egg Bowl.
Starting point is 00:19:22 Yeah. It's going to be a big day. I'm going to have him up here. Love it. I'm going to for the Egg Bowl. Yeah. It's going to be a big day. Love it. I'm going to have him over for Thanksgiving dinner. And then eggs in your face. Then I'm going to fucking... What if they win by 40?
Starting point is 00:19:34 They're not going to win. They're not going to beat us. What did he say? They're not beating us. What did he say? What did Mitch wind up saying? I mean, he agreed it was... He may have been exaggerating a little bit.
Starting point is 00:19:49 80% now. What was that story about the emperor who's asking... You should just call someone at Ole Miss and ask. Go ahead. I'm not going to do it. That's not my job. What's your idea? What do you think DK Metcalf knows? Yeah, that's it. That'd be a good... If he knows Ben Metcalf? What do you think DK Metcalf knows? Yeah, that's it. That'd be a good...
Starting point is 00:20:07 DK Metcalf? If he knows Ben Mintz? Litmus test? If he knows Ben Mintz? But are we just telling Ben Mintz that he looks great in his outfit and he's ass naked? That's my question. A little. He's not wearing Travis Matthews.
Starting point is 00:20:21 He's not wearing Travis Matthews. So he might as well be ass naked. Have we done the ad read yet? No. Okay. Want to do it? Let's start. Have we done the ad read yet? No. Okay. Want to do it? Let's start. Not my job.
Starting point is 00:20:27 It's actually just my job. Something that's exactly my job. We're wearing the Travis Matthew cloud collection. Feels like a dream. Our cloud collection is the softest collection we've ever made. Compromised. Oops. Comprised.
Starting point is 00:20:43 God damn it. Come on, Nick. Nick, it. Come on, Nick. Nick, stop. Of our cloud hoodie, the cloud pant. It's soft, lightweight, and stylish. It's the ultimate in versatile comfort. Stay in perfect comfort and perfect style, whether you're lounging on the couch,
Starting point is 00:20:56 taking work-from-home calls, or getting in that evening walk. It's got the supreme comfort, elevated styling, and a modern fit. The modern fit is a modern design and fit. Cloud collection fits just right. Not too baggy, not too tight, just right. Visit TravisMatthew.com slash yak today.
Starting point is 00:21:12 Use code yak20 for 20% off. If you can look at Roan, look at Roan's big juicy ass. Holy shit. And that's because of the Matthews, baby. That's a Matthew. Yak20 for 20% off. KB, head to toe in Matthew. Show it off.
Starting point is 00:21:28 There you go. There it is. Holy shit. Unenthusiastic spin. And underneath of that, Travis Matthews, an abdomen that's cooking. Do you have a dip can in your pocket? Nah, fall back. Awesome.
Starting point is 00:21:43 Yo, why don't you step off there? I think that's a dip can in your pocket. Is that television right there in front of you? Damn, humbling day came fast. Humbling day is coming fast. Fall back. Fucking island boys. It's so good. They just don't count the bars right But they know when to pass it off
Starting point is 00:22:08 They like pass it off after three bars to each other Can we just watch it? Yeah, let's watch it This flashing light needs to stop How are you gonna bring that about? Talk to Dave about it Yeah Just keep on saying it
Starting point is 00:22:23 What do you guys think we should talk about with Dave? He's ready early, by the way. So what? We got to go at like 2. Really? Set up? No. Do you have the boys set up?
Starting point is 00:22:31 Yeah. What are you talking about? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. We just wanted to... Oh, you guys are interviewing Dave? Portnoy.
Starting point is 00:22:40 Shit. I know. Wait, we have to go soon? After the act. Oh, okay. But you said we have to go soon? After the act. Oh, okay. But you said we have to go. Are you doing it in here? No.
Starting point is 00:22:48 No. Any recs? Like a car wreck? Does he do something about a vest on? Yeah. Vest on. But he's not wearing a shirt. You know what I'm talking about?
Starting point is 00:23:01 You know the Island Boy video I'm talking about? TJ, I know you have that shit in there. TJ's plugged into the island. Like, you have the crazy hair? Yeah. No, it's not SNL. Should be. That's all I watch.
Starting point is 00:23:10 The one dude's tatted everywhere but his six-pack. It's the only media I consume. He's got business tats. Yeah, this is the island. That's one of the island boys. I'm more embarrassed by it. Can we get that song, though? I haven't seen this video.
Starting point is 00:23:23 What's their island? Yeah, they're in a pool. Florida. This is the island? That's one of the island boys. Of course he's Floridian. Obviously. Yeah, like a wild woman
Starting point is 00:23:32 trying to make it to the top on my island boy I've been trying to make it. I ain't seen it with a gang gang swing. You ain't just playing no game. I'm through the storm
Starting point is 00:23:42 through the rain cause we try home like a lion from the storm, through the rain. Cause we try home like a lion. From the island boy. From the Caribbean. Can't put a case of salt in my water. I'm an island boy. Put my vest on, yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:56 That was, that was. Holy shit. Those guys. Get a beat on that, yeah. I want to party with him. Prez, you got a higher ass guy. Next to the part Simpson? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:05 So good. Frank, I know to party with him. Prez, you've got to hire us, guys. So good. Frank, I know how Frank feels now after Nick did me absolutely dirty. I came around the corner and Frank is just
Starting point is 00:24:15 shooting a soda review with Nick. Oh, wow. Turani? Turani, yeah. Wasn't that probably Frank's decision?
Starting point is 00:24:22 He said he couldn't find Roan anywhere. You were just here. I was just here. I was like, yeah, I haven't seen him. Clear glass room He said he couldn't find Roan anywhere. You were just here. I was just here. I was like, yeah, I haven't seen him. Clear glass room. And he just completely fucked me. And he was like, oh, but you could be my assistant.
Starting point is 00:24:32 I said, kick rocks, Frank. You did say that. And then it was a really cool part of the video. Broke the immersion of the Soda Review, you busting in. Yeah. And I thought it would make the final cut. And he's like, we got to start over. That's the process.
Starting point is 00:24:45 Just a natural and hilarious intercession by me, and somehow he still wants to... It's not about the soda. I don't know if you guys saw yesterday, but everyone in America should be rooting for the Arizona Cardinals to go undefeated because Dave Portnoy has agreed that if the Arizona, well, let me back up. That didn't replace yours, did it?
Starting point is 00:25:08 No, I also owe Frank a car if this happens. But Frank roots against the Cardinals. He's got a nice car already. He was rooting against the Cardinals very, very hard yesterday. I was like, what are you, did you bet on this game? He's like, no, the Dolphins' perfect season is the last thing I have in sports. The perfect season that happened before he was born. 72.
Starting point is 00:25:27 Yeah, 72. It's the last thing that he has in the sports. So he's very, very upset that the Cardinals are 6-0. Dave said that if the Cardinals finish 17-0, Frank is allowed to live at any of Dave's homes as long as he wants for the rest of his life. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. How are you going to live there, Frank?
Starting point is 00:25:47 I want to live there. My any house too. Anywhere I go. Frank's crushing ruffles. Anywhere. Nantucket. Frank just has a key. Frank and Art Basil with Dave.
Starting point is 00:26:04 It's going to be incredible, so we got to root for it. We have to root for it. 17 and 0. 17 and 0. Frank just has a key Frank and Art Basel with Dave like it's gonna be incredible so we gotta root for them we have to root for it 17-0 17-0 had they been winning decisively
Starting point is 00:26:11 they've had a couple of decisive wins alright let's fucking get it yes they've been dominating they beat the Rams pretty badly yeah
Starting point is 00:26:16 they'll be good just the idea of like Dave trying to get sleep but the Mets have a West Coast it's one in the morning and frank is in the kitchen just screaming so we need it yeah frank and frank screaming at the end of the game against uh the jags was hilarious oh maybe we want to jump out the window yeah he heard uh even just doug
Starting point is 00:26:39 saying duval first and then he heard someone being louder than him and he just takes it to the fucking decibel like the highest decibel possible I think. Yeah, he started sleeping. He had a London game yesterday. 9.30 in the morning.
Starting point is 00:26:54 London game. You might think if you're watching that you're like is that guy dead? Is that a freeze frame? Was there ever a concern? No, he's fine.
Starting point is 00:27:03 He doesn't even have apnea. He actually has the loosest hamstrings. The wide shot is very funny. He's kind of smiling. Billy looks concerned a tiny bit. Yeah, a little bit. I was on the train this morning, and I was sitting in the middle of a car. Frank always sits in the joining parts where there's benches.
Starting point is 00:27:22 I always get into the seats. I heard him. He's sitting down. He's yelling at somebody. He's talking about his 30k TikTok. He's doing this. I think, is he mad? I go up there to see if Frank is going to have beef with somebody? It was Jersey Jerry just yelling back at him. They're not actually fighting.
Starting point is 00:27:38 They're just yelling their conversation. Yeah. Having a very loud conversation. Yelling it back and forth. I love it. Was that just... Yes, it was. Who was it? I missed it. Don't say it.
Starting point is 00:27:52 All right, everyone, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. It's top secret. I'll tell you after, but it's top secret. Let's just say he was the first black president. I want to know who it was. Yeah, just like you want to know the list. I want to know who it was. Yeah, just like you want to know.
Starting point is 00:28:07 I want to know. You don't want to know, but tell me who it was. You want to ruin it. Let's get it going in the text group. Let's find out who that was. No, no, no. It'll be ruined. It's not ruinable.
Starting point is 00:28:16 We can't ruin this one. No, it's something that we really shouldn't ruin. I don't want to ruin it. Well, you can ruin it, but Dave would be mad, not me. So go ahead, Brandon. No, I'm not going to ruin it. It was both of the island, but Dave would be mad, not me. So go ahead, Brandon. No, I'm not going to ruin it. It was both of the Island Boys. It was both of the Island Boys.
Starting point is 00:28:29 In one long trench coat. Island Boys. Looking like Ed, Edd, and Eddie. Meets Kodak Black. Beautiful looking boys. Beautiful young men. So we're a Cardinals show now. Big time. I'm down for it.'re a Cardinals show now. Big time. I'm down for it.
Starting point is 00:28:47 I own my car as well. What kind of car are you going to get him? You got to give him a nice ass car. Maybe like a real small. Get him that electric one. Yeah, like a Prius. Yeah, smart. A smart car. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:54 A single seater. Get him a motorcycle with a side car. For Jersey Jerry. For Jersey Jerry. No, for Abe. Come on, bro. For Abe. I was tuned to get it.
Starting point is 00:29:03 Abe. Wow. I wonder who would get it. Abe, Ralph, me? Not you. You driving the bike. He offered me to be his assistant. And him in the sidecar. That's comical.
Starting point is 00:29:13 That's comical. You've been demoted to assistant? He offered me assistant, which is pissing in my face. Wait, so you've already worked months for him. I know. And you're just not getting the offer? I'm just getting demoted. It was a demotion.
Starting point is 00:29:25 It was full demotion. He's like, oh, you could be. And it was a pity demotion, too. So are you not in charge of the Soda Reviews anymore? Never was. I'm a worker. I'm a worker bee. I'm just like on the front lines.
Starting point is 00:29:37 I'm a union guy. Tico Texas crew rolled in. That's early. That is early. What's wrong, Brandon? I'm supposed to be running our Tico tryouts today. Our Tico tryouts? For a podcast partner?
Starting point is 00:29:50 Yeah, we got to get some Tico tryouts. Why don't you just do it? Is this one of those situations where you're like, I'll run it, and then at the end you'll be like, you know who would be perfect? She asked me for her. Me. I'd do the Dwight Schrute. Wait, can we zoom in on Ebony?
Starting point is 00:30:01 Let's see how Ebony's reacting to this. Why? Because they got beef. Oh to this. Why? Beef. Oh, yeah. What? Why do they have beef? What did the beef start? Takashi 5-2.
Starting point is 00:30:13 When did the beef start? Last week. I don't know. What happened? She is not looking up. Yeah. Wait, what happened? Don't know.
Starting point is 00:30:21 Just, damn. Takashi 5-2. Just walked in one day and she was angry. Angry about it. Oh, yeah. And Ebony is slow to anger. That's one thing about her. She is reserved and measured. She knows the camera's on her.
Starting point is 00:30:32 She's ducking her head. Tied behind that Mendy's bag. Smart. Smart. Let's steal that person's food. All right. What's in it? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:30:43 I'm hungry. We should actually just do one day where every order that comes in in a two hour span we just take. Dibs. It's humbling week. We do need a mass humbling. You're right, Ron. Like the birds. We just go through and people just
Starting point is 00:30:57 get destroyed. A lot of overinflated sense of self-worth around here. Myself included. I like that idea. We pay them double the cost of the meal if they are respectful about it. Oh, they react. Yeah. That's the way that they can get their meal back.
Starting point is 00:31:11 Mm-hmm. I feel like food isn't something that someone would be respectful about if it got stolen. Good. Prison rules. Yeah. Yeah, if they're mad about it,
Starting point is 00:31:19 we fight them. Yeah. No spoilers, but fucking Squid Game, man. Fuck them. Yeah. Remember Squid Game? I remember, but fucking Squid Game, man. Fuck them. Yeah. Remember Squid Game? I remember Squid Game. Squid Game.
Starting point is 00:31:29 Who remembers Squid Game? I started it and then I stopped it. I don't just stop Squid Game. I also stopped it. I was like, wait, I can't look at my phone and also read these captions. I'm out. That's why. I automatically went to the voiceover and I still
Starting point is 00:31:45 I heard the voiceover is really bad. It sounds like the tick tock. Yeah. Everyone says but tick tock voice is shockingly bad.
Starting point is 00:31:54 Which one is that? Travis is. Oh yeah. The boys. It's like when they made it they were like we got to make this was the move.
Starting point is 00:32:02 Yeah. Travis. Matthew. He's doing laps. He's lapping us. What happened to his vignettes at lunch? I feel like I haven't seen a vignette from Frank in a minute. That's his food.
Starting point is 00:32:13 Oh, my God. He would have. Oh, fuck. And then we stole Frank's lunch. It was one brick of salt. He likes salt. He likes salt. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:26 He's gotten back into the salt ways. Tico left the room and Ebony's smiling now. Yeah. Damn, I didn't know there was beef. That's not good.
Starting point is 00:32:34 What's beef? Unbelievable. I thought they were tight. Yeah? Oh, yeah. She's chipper as fuck. Oh, man. Ebony's in a great mood.
Starting point is 00:32:42 Chipper ass, Ebony. She's got great shoulders. She said she's been single for two years. What? She's looking for the right man. Ebony said... Chipper ass Ebony. She's been single for two years. What? Ebony? She's looking for the right man. She says she's just a hoe in the...
Starting point is 00:32:51 Online. She's not actually a hoe. She doesn't live a life of a hoe, but she's fluent in the language of the hoe. Yeah. She had a gem this weekend. I'd like to keep talking about her without bringing her in, though.
Starting point is 00:33:04 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, fuck it. KB, did you are you starting a new sobriety journey since our last show? I tried it out. Tried out drinking in moderation. Didn't really like it, so I think I might go back to sobriety. Yeah, that's dope. You quit
Starting point is 00:33:20 sobriety and clean eating in the same day at the same exact moment. Ruined me. You had a very upset tum-tum. Yeah. You were fucked up. No. You've and clean eating in the same day at the same exact moment. Ruined me. You had a very upset tum-tum. You were fucked up. You've been clean eating? I have, yeah. Not entirely, but you know.
Starting point is 00:33:33 Well, what is it? Grilled chicken, rice, broccoli. God damn. You prepare it? You prepare it yourself? No, I fucking order it takeout and spend like 30 bucks. For like berry and grilled chicken?
Starting point is 00:33:44 So what you start doing is just getting uh rotisserie chickens i do like rotisserie like seven dollars preparation of chicken whole three days of food three for me i'm not gonna get a meal prep that just ruins life do you eat an entire chicken a day no but i ate half a chicken the other day i'm one sitting i ordered half a rotisserie chicken beast it was pouring out i would have walked to the other day in one sitting. I ordered half a rotisserie chicken. Beast. It was pouring out. I would have walked to the store and gotten one, but you can just order a rotisserie chicken on Uber Eats. Beast.
Starting point is 00:34:12 I got a notification saying that I'm like a freak. It was like I got some reward for being a frequent Uber Eats user. Beast. Beast. Beast. Beast. I should probably stop using this. Beast. Beast. Why should you stop using this. Beast!
Starting point is 00:34:28 Why should you stop using it, you fucking beast? Too pricey. Nothing's too pricey for a beast like you. I thought you were about to stack your bread, bro. What the fuck? Yeah. Well, that's what we're going to talk today about. You know, Gary Vee made $41,000 a year for three years, and he stacked $9,000 each year. Oh, wait, did you see that? Did you see the newest?
Starting point is 00:34:44 Did you see the newest, Gary? Say that again. That physically that was the way you delivered that was gary b forty one thousand dollars a year for his first three years in the workforce and he stacked nine thousand dollars each year no luxury vacations he didn't buy five dollar cups of coffee he was stacking bread it was four dollars bro he was just stacking did you see Did you see the new one? The gum one? What? Maybe we should. No. Pull it up.
Starting point is 00:35:10 He's like, I swallowed gum. He's like, I've never had a piece of gum that I didn't swallow. He's like, maybe it's because I'm just so obsessed with saving time and I don't feel like spitting it out and putting it in the trash. So I just swallow every piece. We got to see this. I need to see it. It takes so much of my day to put the gum in the trash. He's like, I'm so obsessed with saving time that that one one hundredth of a second that I spit it out, I can't do it. I have to swallow it.
Starting point is 00:35:30 Does that mean he just swallows his gum? Does that mean he doesn't throw anything away? That, like, would. I swallow every piece of gum. I've swallowed every piece of gum that I've ever chewed in my life. I don't think it's cool or anything. I don't think it's fucking amazing. It's just the truth. I think it's cool or anything i don't think it's fucking amazing it's just the
Starting point is 00:35:45 truth i think it's efficiency i don't think i want to give up the hundredth of a second putting in a napkin just swallow that shit if he just stopped cursing he would live 10 percent longer there was also one that he had on instagram today where he talked about not doing any drugs and it sounded like a guy who does a lot of drugs oh yeah i yeah, I saw that one. That was an older one, though. He was like, ha-ha. It was like my friend. Everyone always choked about it. Yeah, it's like my friends always, I send them screenshots of people asking how much coke I do,
Starting point is 00:36:10 and my friends think it's hysterical. It's like, wait. Because they know I wouldn't even touch a blunt. Yeah. He's like, they spent all four years of college trying to get me to smoke a blunt. Kind of like you're explaining way too much for this scenario. Someone like him, he's doing something.
Starting point is 00:36:26 Yes. Whether it's like Adderall or... Designer. Yeah. Limitless. Maybe he's off the limit list. Limitless. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:32 I re-watched that this past week. Such a good movie. So fucking good. Yes, it holds up. It's such a good movie. It super holds up. As much as like Wall Street or any other New York classic.
Starting point is 00:36:41 I've never seen it. It's a New York classic. I'm going to watch it. It's a good ass movie. Nick, what do you think? I classic. I've never seen it. It's a New York classic. I'm going to watch it. It's a good-ass movie. Nick, what do you think? I don't think I've seen it. I've been on a war movie kick. Shut up.
Starting point is 00:36:52 Really? What kind? Watched a lot this weekend. I watched The Outpost, Green Zone, Zero Dark Thirty last night. Those are deep cuts except for Zero Dark. Outpost and Green Zone were very good. Why are you in the war kick? Something happen? Thinking about enlisting.
Starting point is 00:37:09 You should. You would have lasted a fucking second over there, man. No, I like train along with them. It's like when they're banging out pull-ups in the movie, I'm banging them out with them. When would you throw in the towel on boot camp? I'm not riding on a bus there. Wait, wait.
Starting point is 00:37:25 You're going to shave my head? I'm out. Sass could never go to the fucking military. Can we stop at the store? That's going to be all the comments. You never cut at the military, Sass. It's funny because Sass could literally never go to war. Zero Dark Thirty is a good-ass movie.
Starting point is 00:37:40 It would be funny if you got drafted. That would be funny content. It would. Could you torture somebody?. Once you get past the torture. That would be funny content. It would. Could you torture somebody? Of course you couldn't get tortured. No, because I was watching that in the torture scenes in Zero Dark Thirty
Starting point is 00:37:51 and I was like, this is really like a lot. What? Torture is a lot. Like the whole first half of the movie is them torturing terrorists.
Starting point is 00:38:00 Torture is sick. But you could eat a cheeseburger. Yeah. Same thing. Half a rotisserie chicken. Wow. But you could eat a cheeseburger. Yeah. Same thing. Half a rotisserie chicken. Wow. But you could eat half of a living chicken. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:38:09 Oh, chicken that was once alive. It was awesome. Seems like you're a hypocrite. When they kill Osama, I got the chills. Yeah? Yeah. I was chanting USA in my room. Just crying.
Starting point is 00:38:20 Dromino. For God. Wait, what did he say? Oh, no. Oh, boy. Oh, God. You can never last, bro. Oh, no. Oh, boy. Oh, God. You can never last, bro. Bro, you can't even get the call signs right.
Starting point is 00:38:29 Jackpot. Semper whatever. However that phrase goes. I feel like they could have just made the whole movie about the actual killing Osama scene, though. I love that actress, too. What's her name? Jessica Chastain. Chastain.
Starting point is 00:38:39 Isn't she about to do a sex scene with somebody? Oh. Chastain. Chastain. Yes. Chastain. Go scene with somebody? Oh. Yes. Tell us. Go ahead. Steven.
Starting point is 00:38:50 It's rivalry week, by the way, Steven. Yeah. Bucks, Bears. I'm going to be in your ass. Huge rivals. He's going to be in your ass. Oh, you're going to be up in my ass? Close your ass cheeks, brother. How about no?
Starting point is 00:38:59 Like Steven when he wipes. How about no? 425, America's Game of the Week. You guys are 13-point dogs. Yeah, I know. I don't want to watch the game with you. Why not? Because I already can sense your attitude.
Starting point is 00:39:12 I'm opting out. We're pals, right? Oh, jeez. Steven, you weren't here for me. We are very good pals, but you're just... I don't know if I can do it. We'll see. We'll discuss.
Starting point is 00:39:24 You acted like your pals with Schmitty, too. Yeah, and then you had to just belittle him. You made fun of him over analytics, and that's your pal Schmitty. You're right. You're right. You weren't here Friday, but Thursday night, a Tampa Bay Buck threw a football to an adult fan. Yes. Is this the most jealous you've ever been?
Starting point is 00:39:40 What do you think? Yeah, I was really jealous. It was awesome. I mean, the guy didn't catch it clean. Like, someone handed it to him. It's a big difference, right? Yeah, no, no. Does that take the melt away?
Starting point is 00:39:48 You get half the credit. Would you melt if somebody handed it to you? He'd soften. He'd soften. If a player handed it to me, yeah. But, like, if a fan... Why did your lights go out? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:40:00 Congratulations, brother. You're getting a full scholarship. You earned it man hey keep up the good work you've been grinding this whole time man we just wanted to let you know that you've been
Starting point is 00:40:11 fucking crushing it Steve salute man I get like I get like getting handed the ball and being like super pumped being like oh shit I got the ball
Starting point is 00:40:18 but like when you say you melted it makes it seem like you're like gonna like calm your pants like on the spot I mean you're a sports fan come on
Starting point is 00:40:24 let's be awesome yeah no Stephen said that it was the same as getting proposed to that's what it would be like seem like you're going to calm your pants on the spot. I mean, are you a sports fan? Come on. It'd be awesome. Yeah. No, Steven said that it was the same as getting proposed to. That's what it would be like. Jesus. That's awesome. He gave it to an adult intentionally. He was a Bucs fan in enemy territory.
Starting point is 00:40:36 So, yeah. Makes sense. We will watch the game together Sunday. I'm not looking forward to it, but we will watch the game Sunday. I will try to limit my first down signs as much as possible. I don't care. Do whatever you want. Okay. That's binding. I was out Friday because it was my son's birthday.
Starting point is 00:40:52 Oh. I didn't accuse you. It's okay. Happy birthday to your son. Did you have a party anywhere? We did like trick-or-treat. Yeah, we had a family party. Trick-or-treat? My town did like an early trick-or-treat for little kids. So you just two birds, one stone? Yeah, big time.
Starting point is 00:41:07 I never understood the early trick or treat. What's the point of that? To do it early. I don't know. But that's a thing. In my town, random kids would go the day before or two days before. It's crowded on Halloween night. That's the fun part.
Starting point is 00:41:22 You see all the stooms. No one wants to go trick or treating Like midday On the 28th I do Sign me up Jay will you come trick or treating With me Kyle and Brandon's kids
Starting point is 00:41:35 I'm going too If you guys come to my neighborhood Yeah yeah you are If you guys come to my neighborhood You guys can come I mean I have to take my kids trick or treating Brandon On Sunday night
Starting point is 00:41:44 On Sunday the 31st? We live 40 minutes away. We're not doing that. On Sunday the 31st, y'all are going to do Owen's Neighborhood, I think. I'm hoping it'll be Saturday the 30th. What do you mean you're hoping it'll be Saturday the 30th? Because sometimes they do alternate days. What?
Starting point is 00:41:59 Who decides that? Oh, we said we'd come to Jersey. But Owen's Neighborhood's full-size candy bars. Yeah, but I'm not... Is that Long Island? Or where is it? Mm-hmm. I don't...
Starting point is 00:42:09 Stewart Manor? No pools, though. I'm not driving my kids an hour and a half to get to you guys. Full-size candy bars. Full-size candy bars. I can buy full-size candy bars. It's not the same. It's about getting them from a stranger.
Starting point is 00:42:21 Well, why can't... Right, and we'll check all of them. Wait, they're going to do Halloween on Saturday? Sometimes they do alternate days depending on how do they coordinate that I have to like look in the town
Starting point is 00:42:31 Facebook group that's how oh that's weird boring adult shit Viva trick-or-treating two weeks before Halloween
Starting point is 00:42:37 doesn't sit right with you it was like a special event we should just start showing up to people's houses in October yeah I might fucking Christmas Carol while we're at it that doesn't even make sense have you ground i bet you've
Starting point is 00:42:49 taken your kids caroling haven't you brandon oh no i've never done that we're doing that too have you been to a pumpkin patch yet this this october yes i have as well i have not rome was there terrorizing little children i dig it yes you definitely have to go to one i got a picture i got pictures from saturday when I was in Tennessee of my kids and family being a pumpkin patch, so I dodged one. Where people say it online that since you're extending your sling show that you'll be spending less time with your family?
Starting point is 00:43:15 Yeah, no. One guy was like, see, I can tell how much Brandon hates his family. I can't stand those people. The people who gatekeep your own fucking family. You stupid fuck. You're trying to make more money for your family? They are the worst.
Starting point is 00:43:30 Big Cat, anytime you tweet something after like 11.30, all the replies will be like, you two kids. You're watching with your kids. Yeah. What the fuck? It's the worst. Yeah, that would piss me off. And it's also almost always people who like don't have kids.
Starting point is 00:43:44 Yeah. They don't know the grind. I don't fucking live this life. That's daddy time. It's me time for daddy. Daddy can't sit down with daddy's phone and fucking watch some wrestling or fucking sit in the basement and play with his figurines. Yeah. Also, my son is-
Starting point is 00:43:58 These seem a little personal. My son is too. I'm trying to work so that I can then spend every second with him. Aw. Yeah. Aw. Big aw. Damn. Clip that. That's gold. second with him. Yes. Yeah. Oh, big on. Damn. Clip that.
Starting point is 00:44:07 That's gold. Clip that. Clip that. Post it on Wholesome Means. I'm fucking chilling all the time until he starts hating me when he's like. Dude's posting. And then you send him to boarding school. And then you send him off to boarding school.
Starting point is 00:44:15 And then you work again. And then you catch him podcasting. Mm-hmm. And you send him away to military school. What is this? Is this a snowball, Mike? I did this so you didn't have to. I grinded.
Starting point is 00:44:26 You promised. Yeah. You promised you would never. He's praying to God there's hard drugs hidden inside of him. It's an eight ball, not a snowball, right? I want you to get an education. Tell me, please. The first in your family to go to college and actually use their education.
Starting point is 00:44:44 Actually, first to go to college. First to actually do anything related to their major. You said practicing your lines. I thought it was cocaine, not ad reads. It's going to be like Darth Vader and, or Anakin
Starting point is 00:45:00 and Luke Skywalker. Deep pool. Deep pool. Deep pool. Not familiar with that movie. Bro. Try to use a reference people will understand. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:45:15 I've been watching some war movies, huh? Star Wars movies. Brandon, your bride is a polygot? Your wife is a polygot. Portuguese, right? What's a polygot? Your wife is a polygot. Portuguese, right? What's a polygot?
Starting point is 00:45:27 Speaks like over eight languages. I didn't know what a polygot was either. No, she speaks four languages. On the precipice, though. Quattro. Which one? She teaches French. She teaches Spanish.
Starting point is 00:45:39 She also speaks Japanese and, of course, English. That's fucking awesome. You got to take her out to fucking Hiroshima. Do you have a go-to? Is there one that's more central than the others? She teaches the kids Spanish. I haven't picked up on it. You, yourself?
Starting point is 00:45:53 No, I don't. You don't like when she scolds you? No, she doesn't. She doesn't really talk shit on you in a different language? I have seen her talking to her friends, her Hispanic friends, and she's laughed. And you can tell when the wife's laugh is about the husband, so I picked up on that. But otherwise, no.
Starting point is 00:46:11 I don't really, I don't know. I've never picked up on any Spanish. Brandon Tango, Pequeño Chupa. Or what the fuck is penis? Pene. Chupa means sock. Pene is a pasta. Owen should know. Brandon Esmaricon.
Starting point is 00:46:24 He speaks Spanish? I minored in it, but... Oh yeah, fuck, I forgot suck. Penne is a pasta. Owen should know. Brandon Esmaricon. He speaks Spanish? I minored in it, but... Oh, yeah. Fuck, I forgot that. Yeah. But you... I don't remember any of it. Brandon, it's the hijo de mi verga.
Starting point is 00:46:35 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. See, that sucks. That sucks. Brandon's the hijo of the leche of the chi-chis of his padre. He's the son of his dad's tit milk. I don't know what you're saying, bro. I'm not sure why you did it in a southern accent. I figured that's how they were talking in Spanish.
Starting point is 00:47:00 Spanish Brandon. I want to learn Arabic. You watch fucking Zero Dark Thirty once and you're like, I'm going to interrogate someone. Yeah, I want to learn it so I can be like a translator.
Starting point is 00:47:12 That's where all the jobs are. That's where I'm going after Barstool. To Abu Ghraib. CIA. Barstool Abu Ghraib. Michigan State, Michigan's noon.
Starting point is 00:47:23 Oh, fuck. What? It's at noon How do you know? What the fuck is this Owen? What's going on? Gabe keep those doors Fuck
Starting point is 00:47:32 Don't let nobody get in them doors No don't Just don't let them Be proactive Like hey we actually have this You got to do it You got to bite the bullet And say get the fuck out
Starting point is 00:47:47 At two At two sharp Is that the Hey Owen Before you go This is good Because I was supposed to do that with her
Starting point is 00:47:54 I want you to say Dave's I want to get out Brandon Say Dave Grande and Gordo Yes a fat ass donkey He's a fat ass donkey Fat ass donkey
Starting point is 00:48:03 Fucking burro Burro Brandon Burro Un abarracho Burro Brandon Yes, a fat-ass donkey. He's a fat-ass donkey. Fat-ass donkey. He's a fucking burro. Burro. Brandon Burro. With a borracho mule. Burro. Drunk mule. Gordo burro.
Starting point is 00:48:13 Fat-ass mule. You fat donkey. I want Sass to interrogate Tara so bad now. I'd be good cop, though. Would you? Yeah. We're not going to hurt you. There wasn't good cops in Abu Ghraib. No. They did bad cop, bad you? Yeah We're not gonna hurt you There wasn't good cops In Abu Ghraib
Starting point is 00:48:25 No They did bad cop Bad cop Yeah they did The good cops Were waterboarding And the bad cops Were hooking them up
Starting point is 00:48:32 To the jumper cave Brandon have a Penne piceno Penne piceno Penne piceno What'd they say Owen? Yeah What's
Starting point is 00:48:39 What'd they say They just said no It's theirs No it's not They're recording No it's not No it's not Girl Yak No no no no Girl Yak Girl Yak. No, it's not. Who? No, it's not. Who? Tito?
Starting point is 00:48:45 No, no, no, no, no, no. Girl Yaks? No. No, no, no. Girl Yak doesn't hear. Don't let that happen. He said it'll be quick. A little piña pequeno, perdón.
Starting point is 00:48:53 We need it in ten minutes. You told him that? Yeah. Oh, Sass, I thought of you this weekend. Yeah, when you were ranking me last on your funny list? No. He did not rank you last. I thought of you when we were walking in Knoxville and Brandon complained the whole time.
Starting point is 00:49:11 No. No, I did not complain the whole time. I was just about to do it. I couldn't get the time to be ahead. I've never had someone complain more in their entire life. But this was a big moment in our relationship. You made me walk a mile. 1.2 miles. You guys did not stay out, You made me walk a mile, 1.2 miles.
Starting point is 00:49:25 Oh, yeah, you guys did Dad's Day Out, right? 1.2 miles. 1.2 miles. Brandon said that if he couldn't wear my sunglasses, he wouldn't be able to complete the track. I couldn't. Oh, my God. I can't take this.
Starting point is 00:49:34 Did you give him to him? Yes. Oh, I wore him. He was bitching the whole... He thought there were times where we were walking. It was a beautiful day. It was like 60 degrees. UV rays, man.
Starting point is 00:49:43 UV rays. He was like... He actually, like, no joke, asked if we could take a break halfway through. It's like 15 minutes of walking. It was. No, it's not. It's up and down hills. And then he claimed that I was not telling him the truth of how far it was. You didn't.
Starting point is 00:49:59 He was like, you said it was the next light. When we got there. And it's the one after that. You said, oh, it's the next light. It's going to be 18th Street. And the light in front of me was 15th and you said oh it goes from 15th to 18th okay and then there was that and then you believed it when we got there that makes sense when we got there we sat in the hottest bus i've ever been in the bus is not my fault but you've been in that bus we want it was so no proof of that i know you weren't show Show us the podcast episode.
Starting point is 00:50:26 Fuck. We'll release it ourselves. I'll leak the tapes. You guys should start recording yourselves when you go on other podcasts. And just put it out a day before. Yeah. I think this is not the first show that we've... Have we done another show that we didn't put out?
Starting point is 00:50:38 Yeah, our live show. Oh, yeah. Oh, the one with Caleb we didn't put out. But yeah, Brandon, it was incredible. Mile walk. I feel like that's an annual tradition. At Penn State, you guys took a mile walk. It's like a nice day.
Starting point is 00:50:52 A mile is not a lot. I walked so little. Were you getting a migraine? I'm scared of getting a migraine, yes. It's in my head. Was it before or after the show? It was before the show. UV rays getting to my eyes.
Starting point is 00:51:04 I get migraines too. They suck. What? UV rays. They're debilitating. Yeah. I can't function in the sun. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:51:11 It's my fault. That's why I got a migraine at Clemson. That's why I got a migraine at Notre Dame. I can't function in the sun. The UV rays give me a migraine. It's your pretty light eyes that you guys have. I really think it is. Brandon S. and Puse.
Starting point is 00:51:23 Oh. I don't know what that means, but it doesn't sound good. Puse. Gato Grande. That doesn't sound good. It's Grande Puse. Yeah, he is. Your wife speaks Japanese.
Starting point is 00:51:32 She learned the nuances of an entirely different script of a language. She spent two years living in Japan. What? She married you? Yeah. Oh, man. You ever even left the country? My honeymoon. Went to the Bahamas. Does that count? Yeah. Oh, man. You ever even left the country? My honeymoon.
Starting point is 00:51:46 Went to the Bahamas. Does that count? No. Why does that not count? I mean, sort of. No, why doesn't that count? It doesn't count. It's part of America, bro.
Starting point is 00:51:55 It is. Bahamas are part of America. Bahamas are their own country. That's America. They have their own money. That's just fucking East Florida. Did you go into any stores where they spoke Bahamanian? Brandon's an island boy. Brandon's an island boy.
Starting point is 00:52:08 He's an island boy. He's an island boy. I don't remember. It was 16 years ago. What did she do in Japan for two years? I'm an island boy. And I've been trying to make... Oh, I'm an island boy. I'm just an island boy.
Starting point is 00:52:23 I'm just an island boy'm just I'm just Island boy I'm just Key white wine You're gonna Keep that gun I'll be just Staring at the sun I'm just
Starting point is 00:52:32 Full gazing I'm like Pull where I'm staying They're like You wanna be famous I'm trying to be Out the greatest I'm gonna
Starting point is 00:52:40 Float all boy I got a real Damn topic I'm like Down on the topic I'm an island boy It got real damn tropic I'm like the dumb on the topic I'm a island boy Put my vest on, yeah Like a Wagamama
Starting point is 00:52:50 Try to make it to the top I'm a island boy I've been trying to make it I ain't seen it with a gang gang swing You ain't just swing no cane I'm through the storm, through the rain Cause we try home like a lion From that island boy From the Caribbean Que yo soy cool, yeah What?
Starting point is 00:53:14 It's 22 minutes. Who are these rascals? Are they past our point of view? They're island boys. Are they attainable? They're brand new. They were already on No Jumper. Were they? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:23 No way. It's curtains. It's curtains. God, No Jumper. Were they? Yeah. No way. It's curtains. God, No Jumper. I used to be obsessed with No Jumper and then one day I just clicked and I was like, this guy fucking sucks. Oh, really? Yeah. Why does he suck? He's just like,
Starting point is 00:53:37 I just hate him. He's super cringy. Were you around for the pregnancy porn arc? No, no. That's when I stopped. I was a big fan of his interviews so I was super into the underground rap stuff. And then all of a sudden he just started posting videos
Starting point is 00:53:49 of him fucking with his dick in them. What? And I was like, okay. That guy did? Alright, if you want to post videos of your fuck and leave your dick out of it.
Starting point is 00:53:57 It would be like a big cat randomly started uploading Instagram stories of him just fucking. Yeah, I'll watch you fuck but if I see your dick, unfollow him. I can't listen to your podcast anymore.
Starting point is 00:54:07 Well, it kind of turns you off of the podcast. Can't listen to your podcast without thinking of your dick fucking. Well, it'll be like every day. I just assumed you fucked without your dick. Bro, you know I didn't mean it like that. You upload videos of him dry humping. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:28 Brandon said, Burro Grande and Gordo. What does that mean? You're a fat ass donkey, bitch. I had to take a mother daughter from 72nd Street to Times Square
Starting point is 00:54:43 a few weeks ago because I spoke Spanish. That's not how that works. A, do you? And B, what do you mean take them? I don't, but I said I did. They didn't know how to get there. How did you take them? On the subway.
Starting point is 00:54:56 Oh, okay. Why couldn't you just point them in the right direction? I took an Indian family of like eight to Madame Trousseau's Friday. You did do that, yeah. I was going up like, I was just like, yeah, it's one more stop. What do you mean took them? They were at the Wall Street stop. Stop taking people places.
Starting point is 00:55:12 Why are you guys taking people places? And then the guy came up to me and asked me like, hey, do you know where 42nd is? I was like, yeah, it's actually on this, you're at the right stop. He's like, will you help us? You just chaperone people around the city all day? I helped them carry a stroller up the steps at the Times Square station. Jesus Christ. I tried to take a blind person
Starting point is 00:55:28 across the street and then I tried to snap a photo of us for the clout and they were like, no pictures. I was like, what the fuck?
Starting point is 00:55:37 What the fuck? Oh, fuck. How do you know I'm taking a picture? He smelled the flash. That's crazy. What the fuck are you talking about? Did you'm taking a picture He smelled the flash What That's crazy What the fuck Are you talking about Did you just take a picture of me
Starting point is 00:55:49 Is that an iPhone 13 I just smelled your teeth Smiling Smelled the teeth Put those teeth away Sorry sir It was by Sealous
Starting point is 00:56:00 Sealous Manor You guys know Sealous Manor On 23rd It's like a big blind A big blind manor. That's what it is? I see blind people walking around there all the time.
Starting point is 00:56:08 23rd, yes. It's like the hottest spot for blind folk. What do you collect if you're blind? Something. Something to check. Something to feel. Or braille. Thoughts.
Starting point is 00:56:18 Yeah, collect. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Textured things. Things with textures. Different blankets maybe blankets, maybe blankets, carpets, and rugs. I meant like checks, but yeah. Oh. We can collect checks. Cereal.
Starting point is 00:56:36 Are you saying people get paid just to be blind? Where's the job market for blind folk? That's a good question. Because I saw one walk up in Wendy's and just order from my touchpad yeah Probably the same huh? arrest them Yo Yo, I saw I see you touching that screen Jerry
Starting point is 00:56:57 with the little Jersey Jerry Like a real fucking song My island boy My morning rain Flags up my window My island boy I can't beat it all And even the fuck We should put on a shirt Island boys
Starting point is 00:57:18 Put the vest on I got my vest on Island boys I'm the start of boys'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most.
Starting point is 00:57:26 I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most.
Starting point is 00:57:27 I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most.
Starting point is 00:57:27 I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most.
Starting point is 00:57:28 I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most.
Starting point is 00:57:28 I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most.
Starting point is 00:57:28 I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. I'm the most. Two songs. Dado. Dado. Dado. She fucking had, like...
Starting point is 00:57:53 She was on Sad Girl shit while Adele was kicking in her... She also had, like, installation... Or, like, insulation installers and welders from Toledo bopping to her. Yeah. Like, down-tempo Contrado
Starting point is 00:58:04 because Eminem sampled her once. The Contrado, yeah, really played. That was very specific. You definitely got pissed off at some dudes listening to. Yeah, some dude's pants KB outside of a construction site. I'll get you one. They were listening to Dino. They're my little boy.
Starting point is 00:58:23 Yeah, I was wondering. Seriously. He's gone cold Seeless matter bro I told you It's kind of wrong Can you zoom in on that On that That hot piece of ass
Starting point is 00:58:33 Is seamless a play on words Seeless I'm like I'm not blind I'm seamless Damn Seeless matter Look at that shit
Starting point is 00:58:42 She is She has no idea What she's wearing She is She has not seen what she's wearing. She has not seen her hair in a long time. I don't get the glasses. There's no further damage to protect from. I think it's for us.
Starting point is 00:58:56 They're doing us a favor. Are they rolling in the back of their head? They're everywhere. I like how blind people's eyes look. Nah, it's looking like that doll from Squid Game. Dude, stop making those preferences. Who wants that shit? It looks like her hair is trimmed just to fit the edge of her... It's like a perfect fit.
Starting point is 00:59:13 Yeah, I wonder if they have a Don in that building. A little cheap point. A caste system. I don't know. A C-list celebrity. C-list? C-list celebrity. How are we going to beat that?
Starting point is 00:59:23 They can't be nice. I feel like they're mean. Blind people? Yeah. Ever heard of Stevie Wonder, brother? Don't frustrate me. Stevie! Stevie Wonder's not blind.
Starting point is 00:59:31 He's not blind. Oh, Brandon. They're always smiling. He caught a mic. He did catch a mic. He caught a mic. I ain't in my eyes. I got a bounce.
Starting point is 00:59:45 How do they? Okay. I have more. We need to get a blind person in here. Okay got to bounce. How do they... Okay, I had more... We need to get a blind person in here. Okay. We will. And just kind of fuck with them. And the mainland boys. See how close we can get to them without them noticing.
Starting point is 00:59:55 We should actually just play that video and be like, describe the two voices you're hearing. And the mainland boys. I heard that blind people can tell when the lights are on and off. That's not surprising. You can tell when the lights are on and off. That's not surprising. You can tell when the lights are on and off with your eyes closed. There's like a sound. That's different.
Starting point is 01:00:09 You're seeing through your eyes. Yeah, that's true. We should do an entire episode where we keep our eyes closed. Let's do a blind episode. Yes. That should be interesting. And the mindless boys. Would you rather have been born blind or have had vision and lost it?
Starting point is 01:00:24 Born. You wouldn't even know what your disability is. Right. Would you rather have been born blind or have had vision and lost it? Born. You wouldn't even know what your disability is. Right. Yeah. I had actually a very good one. You don't get to dream. That'd be aight. You guys can see?
Starting point is 01:00:35 No way. What the fuck? You find it out at like 18. What? Everyone else has been seeing all the time. Yeah. I had a very relevant question on the prep sheet to this. How do cars...
Starting point is 01:00:46 We can't read it. Am I the only one with my eyes closed right now? Yeah, mine are closed. How do cars that have the headlights that turn on automatically, how do they know when to turn on? Isn't it just on like a timer? No, it's a sensor. How many times is your car clocked?
Starting point is 01:01:03 But it's a sensor. How does it sense anything? It senses light and dark. No, it senses light and dark. Yeah. That's like when it gets overcast and there's a storm. They'll automatically come on. It's the same way that your phone automatically gets brighter.
Starting point is 01:01:15 What are you talking about, Steven? If it's dark. Steven, what are you talking about? Or darker, I mean. That's very close to his face. I feel like I'm the only one with my eyes closed. Has your sense of smell gotten better? Can you hear?
Starting point is 01:01:31 Let's all play how close can we get to Big Cat without kissing him. Okay, that's how we'll end the show. Ready? Yeah, we do have to go. Okay, go ahead. Who can get closest to my lips without kissing me? Yeah, but you can't fucking move. You can't fucking move. You can't fucking move.
Starting point is 01:01:47 KB's getting there. He's getting there. Just a tiny little kiss. He's getting there. He's going back and forth. No, they're close. They're close. I think they kissed.
Starting point is 01:02:01 We almost kissed. What's ooh about that, Sas? Yeah, what is ooh? Oh, God. It's the act Yeah, it's time to stock shop We're doing Yankees, Bob, it's the act It's a very nice moment And don't forget It's the act It's the act
Starting point is 01:02:36 Cause I'm an island boy And I'm an island boy And I'm an island boy And I'm an island boy And I'm an island boy And I'm an island boy And I'm an island boy

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