The Yak - This Episode's Gonna Break 100k Views (WARNING: NSFW) | The Yak 7-25-23

Episode Date: July 25, 2023

Life is so scary that it's notYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up. It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop. It's the act. It's the act. Nice job. Oh.
Starting point is 00:00:41 Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Booyah. Caché. Roar. Roar. Roar. Old boys. Unruly. It's the Yak. You gave me the energy I needed today.
Starting point is 00:00:56 No shakiness. No shaky. Never shaky warriors. I'm playing for real real it's the yak uh you know what time it is time to yak i got an idea today and it's not even a good idea but it's just an idea to do something i was looking back over the annals of the yak and since our last case race we've only had three episodes go over a hundred thousand and that's not bad. We have tons of episodes in the 90s and 80s. But do you think it's possible to reverse engineer 100,000 views for an episode of the Yak?
Starting point is 00:01:35 Yeah. You think it's possible? Do you think that that's something that we could do? Or do you think that that's a fool's errand? I honestly think if we all just promoted the episode once. I feel bad. I don't think I've just promoted the episode once. I feel bad. I don't think I've ever tweeted the word Gap. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:01:50 I think it would easily get over 100,000 views. Big Cat always puts the team on the back to stop and intentionally be like, all right, everyone tweet this out. And I'm like, okay. Yeah, I'm doing it. Nobody's going to listen to me. Yes, they will. Except, actually, I did post it on my story once Nobody's going to listen to me. Yes, they will. Except, actually, I did post it on my story once,
Starting point is 00:02:07 and it got, like, a thousand link clicks. Really? And nothing ever gets that many. I didn't know people clicked links. Yeah. That's way too many. Yeah. Nick's tweeted the word yak three times.
Starting point is 00:02:19 All right, because one of them was definitely, like, an orchestrated meta-tweet, like, in 2017 or some shit like that that was not about this show. Definitely not. I was probably just making a joke about the beast. I saw a new – someone sent me a new account called Philly Yakkers, and it's dudes that steal cars. It's so fucking thorough. They're going to be so much bigger than us I mean They're It's just
Starting point is 00:02:45 Different videos Of compilations Of guys Stealing cars Or the lifestyle That surrounds being a car thief Is yakking a term For stealing a car now?
Starting point is 00:02:55 It's a new one for me It could Yak could be a term For like most things It's a lot of terms Yeah Is it like Cognac
Starting point is 00:03:02 Cognac I think it's throwing up I think it's cocaine Yeah City Pont yeah i think it's throwing up i think it's cocaine yeah city pontiac michigan it's a car pontiac yeah yeah um but yeah yakers it's a rapper too philly yakers look at these videos are they successful with their heists i mean it's an aggregation of different guys it's not always the same guys, but sometimes they'll steal something, crash it, and just run away. It's a lot of whipping. I used to only
Starting point is 00:03:30 see videos of people doing this in Oakland. This is how people actually whip it. What is that? You ever see the videos of people hanging out of a car as it kind of fish tails through an intersection? I think that's what these guys are up to,
Starting point is 00:03:45 but in a parking lot. Oh, my God, you a Philly yakker? Duh, bitch. Look at all the fucking laughing emojis. Duh, bitch. Dumb-ass question. Wait, can you go back to that? Let me shut that door.
Starting point is 00:04:02 Yeah. Wait, I gotta... Oh, here, I'll do it. Those guys stealing cars, we need to get them in some row back. Yes, we do. that let me shut that door yeah wait i gotta oh here i'll do it where the those those guys stealing cars we need to get them in some rowback yes we do we need to steal them some rowback do zips polos the most comfortable joggers well honestly they don't even have to steal it because if you use code yak on rowback.com you can get 20 off your first purchase practically theft yeah it really is that good of a deal. And it just looks good every single day.
Starting point is 00:04:26 KB, I'm pretty sure, slipped into a little row back yesterday. Is that true or is that false? Size L. I'm the coming of me to not wear a medium. You guys ever seen a smaller houndstooth? Oh, wow. That's what that is? I didn't even realize that was a houndstooth. 20%. Not $20.
Starting point is 00:04:42 20%. Oh, I said $20? Yes. If you spent $100. Correct. See, Nick? dig me out of a hole thanks for getting me out of my hole wow I didn't realize that that's where do they wear that? Alabama? women from Alabama? the coach of Alabama wore it on his hat right?
Starting point is 00:04:59 wasn't that a houndstooth hat he wore? Bear Bryant? yeah probably was and I think that the ladies wear that I think it's a sexy lady fabric that a houndstooth hat he wore? Bear Bryant? Yeah. Probably was. And I think that the ladies wear that. I think it's a sexy lady fabric down there. A sexy lady fabric? Yeah, I think the sexy moms like to wear a bunch of houndstooth,
Starting point is 00:05:13 black and white. It's all crimson and then a little black and white. Crimson doesn't go good with everybody. No. Some people hate that color. Crimson's tough to wear. You don't?
Starting point is 00:05:21 I don't. I don't like maroon. I gotta learn my palette. You know it. You know it. It's tough to wear. You don't? I don't. I don't like maroon. I've got to learn my palette. You know it. You know it. It's blues. It's blues to match those sweet, sweet eyes of yours. Those caring, curious eyes.
Starting point is 00:05:34 Fall asleep in those eyes. Get lost in those eyes. People trust them, but they shouldn't. Yeah. I'll hurt you. Bad. Badly. Physically, too. Bad. Badly. Physically, too.
Starting point is 00:05:46 Oh, yeah. Abusively. Behind closed doors. Someone get hit by a car outside? What? Yeah. Like that we work with? No.
Starting point is 00:05:55 You can narrow it down to one person. No, I think someone did. I think so. I walked by them. Crazy scene. It was this guy. It was in the intersection of whatever the street to left is 29 30 whatever and they were in seven and it was like a woman
Starting point is 00:06:11 and she was bleeding out of her head yeah what her eye i walked away i had like a napkin or something up to that and cops were around her the sleaziest part there was a dude in a suit right next to her pretty sure a personal injury attorney. Like, it just happened. He was there, like, ready to. Yep. Wow. That is a hell of a grift.
Starting point is 00:06:34 Ambulance chasing? You got to give credit to him, though. Do you? Hopefully it works out. No, you absolutely do not. But that's tough to pop an eye in a in a in a crash like that
Starting point is 00:06:47 for your eye to bleed that's bad yeah that's terrible I don't think it was her eye she was holding it to the side of her head which is also just not a good anywhere
Starting point is 00:06:55 the side of your head should not be bleeding excessively would you if you saw a car accident on the road would you pull your car over and stop and check on the person
Starting point is 00:07:03 or would you just be like thank god that was behind me no if it was like it depends on if it was on the road, would you pull your car over and stop and check on the person or would you just be like, thank God that was behind me? No, if it was like, it depends on, if it was on the highway or the state. Yeah, if it was a county road, maybe. Highway. If it was like in the suburbs, yeah, definitely. Highway in the city. Oh.
Starting point is 00:07:17 Highway in the city. Is it a big, busy? If it's busy, I wouldn't. There's somebody more qualified behind me. I've stopped before, like an old dude fell when I lived in Chicago, and I stopped, and I was with a group of people, and we were all like, what do we do? He was like, don't call 911.
Starting point is 00:07:31 I'll just drive or something. And I felt like I was in the way the entire time. They were like, what the fuck are you still doing here? The only time I've ever tried to help a situation was on rediscovering when somebody had a seizure. I put my wallet in his mouth. And then the paramed when somebody had a seizure. I put my wallet in his mouth. And then the paramedic came and was like, who put the wallet in his mouth? He couldn't shut it down.
Starting point is 00:07:50 It was too thick. Yeah, but he was just like. You actually put a wallet in a guy's mouth? Yeah, it was kind of cool. Yeah, I thought. How did you know to do that? I've heard that you do that so they don't bite their tongue off. And his mouth was bleeding from the corners.
Starting point is 00:08:04 So I did the wallet in the mouth, and the guy was like, the chances of him biting his tongue off are lower than him biting the wallet and choking on that. Really? Yeah. This made you feel real bad. Yeah. Made you feel broke. Like, the guy was ignoring the seizing, man. He was like, what were you doing?
Starting point is 00:08:19 I feel like that can't be true. He's going to bite through the wallet? I don't know. What's the bite force of man? His tungsten card? His tungsten card. Yeah, buddy. I don't think so, buddy.
Starting point is 00:08:33 He should have got on his ass. I have a fantasy about saving another man's child from drowning or something like that and just being like, I'm actually your dad now. Yeah. The emasculation of having like, of like he's running out to save his kid and I go like running past him in the water, like swim faster than out hero. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:53 Out hero. A guy's dad. He's like, I just wanted this. And then he comes to you and be like, you must be dad. Yeah. I think he can get out of that if he names that.
Starting point is 00:09:04 What if he names his second born after you? Is he out of that debt? I think he would have to be, but I wouldn't let him. I wouldn't want to be out of the debt. I would just want to be able to lord this debt over him. Adam's like the least original name, too. Biblically.
Starting point is 00:09:19 Fuck. I feel like I've known you my whole life. Kyle, what were you doing when that guy was seizing? What did you do? I was doing the crossword. Yeah, he was doing the crossword. No, dude. I was in a state of shock. And I scrolled my timeline.
Starting point is 00:09:35 My heart sunk. It was super spooky. He was driving us mere minutes beforehand. Yeah, it was kind of scary. We were in the middle of Joshua Tree. He was driving poorly, going like nine. Who was your driver? Yeah. What? Wait, like an Uber driver? No. Guy was kind of scary. You're in the middle of Joshua Tree. It was like driving poorly going like nine miles an hour. It was your driver? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:46 What? Wait, what, like an Uber driver? No, the guy was on our crew. Does he still work here? No. They fired him because of that. Your liability. Shit was fucked.
Starting point is 00:09:56 And we got slimy pizza right after that. Wettest pizza. I couldn't grip it. The worst. You gotta take like a paper towel and dry it off. Palm Springs. That's critically the least favorite rediscovering
Starting point is 00:10:10 and it was tough to one camera down and shake it up. Oh, he couldn't shoot after that? That sucked. I didn't like that. Didn't like that at all. Yeah, that he ruined your guys' shoot? Then we had to go from that and we were late to going to this
Starting point is 00:10:25 swimming pool where we had to do a choreographed dance. That was my least favorite part. That was not my idea. Whose idea was it? Smutty's? It was that guy's. We did it in his honor. You guys did, promise me you'll do the dance. You did 102 takes.
Starting point is 00:10:42 Yeah. In different locations. I was so sunburned. Prying. Yeah. Yeah, that's tough. You did 102 takes in different locations. I was so sunburned. Crying. Yeah. Yeah, that's tough. So how did we get to 100,000? Is it about the title?
Starting point is 00:10:57 Obviously our thumbnail game is beyond reproach. It could be. Yeah. Is it better episodes? No, no, no, no. That's unrealistic. So I noticed, like, you said it's been since the last case race. We haven't been, no, no. That's unrealistic. So I noticed, like, you said it's been since the last case race.
Starting point is 00:11:08 We haven't been over 100,000. Oh, we have five. Five over 100,000 since the last case race. Oh, okay. I wonder if... Are the longer episodes hurting the numbers?
Starting point is 00:11:18 10-minute episodes? Oh, fuck. We could call it now. Saz, what's your... Your most viewed video is how long? You've got 2 million. What's the duration? 11 most viewed video is how long? You've got two million long. Duration.
Starting point is 00:11:27 11 seconds. Yeah. 17 seconds. We should try that. Is that the Zoom teacher? Yeah. We all have to be at our peak performance, and we just do like a 20-second yak. But that video, it popped off later, right?
Starting point is 00:11:39 You had it up there, and then like- Yeah, like a year after it was up. So maybe it's like something old that we did? Yeah. Fuck. A lot of the old yaks after it was up. So maybe it's like something old that we did? Yeah. Fuck. A lot of the old yaks have like blown up. Yeah? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:51 What was it about it? Was it like the draft? A draft or something crazy? That's when we were young and hot. Now we're not. It's a lot of like mincy stuff played. That would get you over $100,000. Roof ball got you over 200,000.
Starting point is 00:12:06 I'm just trying to think of the constant variables that take us to the promised land. Those sweet six figs. I don't know what it is. Maybe if we call it the 100,000 view episode, or do you think that we have to do something? I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:12:22 I'm a lot of breastfeeding on my TikTok. Maybe if we have somebody... What's the incentive here to get a crazy number? Just to have, like, set your mind to something and then accomplished it? Yeah. Is there another incentive? I just think it's like... You know, me and Sass are leaving the show.
Starting point is 00:12:38 Like, it would behoove us to fucking tank the numbers, honestly. Yeah, we are tanking them. We're tanking the entire show. That's good. If you can't have it, nobody can. No. Yeah, we're tanking them. We're tanking the entire show. That's good. If you can't have it, nobody can. No. Yeah, we're petulant. We're little babies. But I want to get a couple just to be like,
Starting point is 00:12:54 is it possible to do that so you have that club in your bag? If I'm going to use a Riggs term. We'll go off. Thank you. We'll go off for you there, brother. I don't know. Skateboarding. Is there any 100K episodes that you wouldn't quite
Starting point is 00:13:09 expect would be 100K? What? I want to see the outline. I want to see the exception. Yeah. TJ, can we look at the ones that have gotten there? It might be easier to get one that's at like 94. Just get 6,000 more views on that.
Starting point is 00:13:25 Yeah. To try and boost this one through. Popular. No, I like the goal of getting a new 100K one with just what we have. I was in our top viewed video, it got like a million. God, no. It got like 600K. Yeah, 700,000.
Starting point is 00:13:45 That's crazy that the case rate says 700,000 views. LA lottery. It was terrible. They don't want to see it. Maybe that's a hack. Be bad. Like that Nelk interview. They were just like, it's bad, it's bad, it's bad.
Starting point is 00:14:00 Probably their most viewed. Unreleased? Do something unreleased? Oh, do we put out something unreleased? That's been unreleased or something like that? TJ, do we have any episodes that we couldn't put out? I don't think so. Or if we put out an episode of everything cut from all the case races combined.
Starting point is 00:14:18 That would get millions of views, but we'd all be fired instantly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Brick Watch will hire us. That or we'd get picked up by, like, Fox. I saw... The house would go straight to Fox. I saw the OG AC, Alex Cooper, doing a nasty little trick. I think she had a dude named Harry Jowsey on her podcast.
Starting point is 00:14:37 And she's like, who's the most famous guy or most famous girl you've ever fucked? And he said the answer, but she bleeped it out and covered up his mouth. And then there's so much interaction of being like, I bet it was this person. I bet it was this person. I bet it was this person. Instantly a thousand comments. There was a lip reader that tried to figure it out by the jaw movements.
Starting point is 00:15:01 She said Miley Cyrus. I expect that. Or I feel like that's realistic. Who is the guy? Harry Jowsey. He was on some reality show, right? He's British. No, he's just like a hot dude. I'm guessing Love Island. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:15 He's professionally vapid. Yeah. Which is a great job if you can get it. TJ, do you have a sensor soundboard? Yeah, hold on. Let's just say the most famous person we've fucked. I'll just mute your mics. TJ, do you have a sensor soundboard? Yeah, hold on. Let's just say the most famous person we've fucked. I'll just mute your mics. Here, go. Harry.
Starting point is 00:15:37 That's how we all got our jobs here, right? At least that should be 100 million on TikTok Or some shit Like that That little interaction Right there But I'm thinking For the whole
Starting point is 00:15:49 Like for the overarching I also need to get out of here By three For a pep Of We're We're interviewing Bleep me out
Starting point is 00:15:59 But we're interviewing Tracy McGrady Whoa T-Mac Grady? Yeah. Stephen Che did a fucking number on that prep sheet. Mac, that's a good get.
Starting point is 00:16:12 It's a damn good get. It's a long one. He went dumb on the prep sheet. I mean, he's... Was he ever the best in the league? No, he's like the Andy McDonald of skateboarding. He led the league in scoring two years in a row. He could do a McTwist.
Starting point is 00:16:23 He beat Al Duncan? He could do a McTwist. He beat out Duncan? He could do a McTwist for sure but he played at the same time as Michael Jordan, Kobe and LeBron. So he always had a similarly skilled but maybe a little bit better person
Starting point is 00:16:37 in his own position. I love that shit. Interesting nugget I found out when researching him. When he was a rookie in Toronto and he came right out of high school to the NBA, he did not like the coach at all. And he was depressed. He would sleep up to 20 hours a day. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:16:55 He's depressed, depressed. Like a lion. That's crazy. Or a tiger. Or a bear. Or a bear. I also did a nasty trick after you sent the prep sheet, and it might be worth you starting to do this.
Starting point is 00:17:12 You might be able to save time. But I just went to chat GPT, and I said, give me 25 hyper-specific questions about Tracy McGrady that reference the most obscure and detailed parts of his playing career in life. And they gave me 25 really good questions. And then I said, make them even more specific. And they made them even more specific. And there are some bangers in there.
Starting point is 00:17:36 Who's they? Chad GPT. Oh, no. Chad GPT is like AI, right? It worked really well. Fuck. Nardwar's gotta be sweating sorry Jay I'm obsolete
Starting point is 00:17:50 but like that might be nice for you I don't know you work on so many things that the things that you can offload to chat GPT some of them suck though some of them were like how did that feel and so I had to tell chat GPT no questions about feelings that's a shitty interview, how did that feel? And so I had to tell ChatGPT, no questions about feelings. I don't, that's a shitty interview question.
Starting point is 00:18:08 How did that feel? Nelk asked question. Yeah, I guess good. How was that? How did that feel? Or stony? Give me an example of a question. It was like specific, was it about like the 13 points in 35 seconds?
Starting point is 00:18:23 There were questions about that. It was hyper specific. Where's my chat GPT? The fuck? Pat Bev and I have the same favorite candy growing up. Fruities, those little flavored Tootsie Rolls. You keep claiming those.
Starting point is 00:18:45 I like those too. He said that's a hood snack, so stamp for Nicky. You are a little hood. Little tiny bit. Growing up in Bartow, Florida, you played basketball at Carver Recreation Center. How did the atmosphere of the center contribute to your love for the game? Do you have any fond memories from your time there? That's number one. That's number one.
Starting point is 00:19:06 That's number one. In high school, you played for the Auburndale Bloodhounds and later transferred to Mount Zion Christian Academy. How did these different basketball environments impact your skills and mindset as a player? While being recruited by numerous colleges, the University of Kentucky and head coach Rick Pitino expressed interest in you. Can you tell us more about your interactions with Coach Pitino?
Starting point is 00:19:32 That's a decent question, right? What's it pulling this from? He's going to be touched. He's like, wow, you really must have stayed up all night. And I literally typed in two prompts to chat GPT. Isn't that preposterous? That's crazy. I've got to get on that.
Starting point is 00:19:45 That's why, yeah. You honestly should. If you use it as a tool, I think that it could be very beneficial to different little things like prep sheets. Sure. I just feel like you probably take a lot of time researching, going through stuff, and I think that this could take a little bit of that legwork out of there. That's a good idea.
Starting point is 00:20:05 What's your guys' thoughts on AI? I'm very curious. I don't like that. Why? Well, that's like the least dislikable thing. That's the most likable thing. I like that for you, but I don't like that for some of the phonies out there. I don't know, because that information
Starting point is 00:20:21 is all out there, so you could get that with time. Respect the research that people, whatever Nardwar does. I think the Nardwar stuff is stuff that the internet doesn't know about, though. Yeah. He contacts their family members. I respect that. So I don't think ChatGBT could ever do that.
Starting point is 00:20:42 Should we let ChatGBT get us to 100 hundred thousand yeah like what i think we tried doing that right when it came out right we tried getting it uh we tried getting it to make dave portnoy holding a gun no that was the ai that was like the creator i just tried to get a new ai art thing that i heard is going to be crazy but i guess none of them work are you seeing people like get their linkedin headshots from it uh my sister did that it's still in beta. Are you seeing people get their LinkedIn headshots from it? Yes. My sister did that, and she showed it to me, and it was crazy. Yeah, that shit looks very, very nice.
Starting point is 00:21:13 But there's something called MidJourney that I guess is still in beta. I tried to join it, but they just put me on a Discord. That was the one with everybody sharing photos of them being a little bit hotter than they actually are. Is that MidJourney? Yeah. I thought that they had me as a shirtless astronaut. Really? Yeah. I thought that they could just do any prompt. Like they could do the Philadelphia Phillies at the Last Supper.
Starting point is 00:21:33 Oh, I didn't know it was that. It also might not be fully released yet. I don't know, but I'm trying to figure that shit out. Yeah. I feel like for a little bit of time. I like the art shit. That's funny to me. It'll be cool for a little bit of time I like the art shit, that's funny to me It'll be cool for a little bit of time until there's some Supreme Court case about it being like you can't
Starting point is 00:21:50 use interpolation There's an AI detective game that's out and you can ask these people you're interrogating any question and it's pretty realistic What do you mean? You are speaking to your mic on your computer and ask them
Starting point is 00:22:05 any question to solve like mysteries can we try it I think you have to buy that but that would be fun
Starting point is 00:22:10 let's use uncle big cat's card yeah so what is AI is it like a fucking office building
Starting point is 00:22:17 where is AI going where is it I think there are there's a large amount of people who don't really know what
Starting point is 00:22:24 AI is, and they're just assuming that everything... People have to mine it, pedal for it? I think you can build different AIs. You have to keep it going, keep it running somehow? Are you shoveling coal into it? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. How does that fucking work?
Starting point is 00:22:40 When we had Lemaire on our podcast, he had some app that he was making beats with. And he kept on calling it AI. And I'm like, no, dude, those are just pre-made beats. You're just clicking on and changing. AI can do music. They can replicate people's voices and add new melodies. Eric Cartman's covering a lot of songs online right now.
Starting point is 00:23:00 Have you heard that? I don't know. Oh, it's really good. His vocal fry. Oh, it's phenomenal. It's funny. That does sound... Yeah, well, that shit
Starting point is 00:23:08 was mad funny. What was that, SpongeBob singing? Yeah. What about praying, right? Or Patrick... That was very funny. Islamic prayer.
Starting point is 00:23:15 That's AI? It might be real. It might be from an episode. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Without you, it's hard to survive. Because every time we touch, I get this feeling. That's the new way. And every time we kiss, I feel inside. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:33 You steal my heart. This is us coming out of a bathtub to brunch in Jersey. I was meant to cut that like 10 seconds ago. Got lost in the moment. TJ's like, cut that, cut that, cut that. Oh, man. That's good. It in the moment. TJ's like, cut that, cut that, cut that. Oh man, that's good, yeah. It's Cartman. I mean, it's their interpolation.
Starting point is 00:23:49 We can't get caught up in all of that. Somebody did an AI anus episode, right? It was pretty good. Yeah, it was pretty funny, comparatively. Scripted episodes of things that already exist are tough. They're not going to have as good of a... Nuant novelty. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:09 But asking questions, finding detailed questions about something or finding obscure facts about someone, I feel is an appropriate use of it. So when... My phone number has been leaked for a long time. Of course. And somebody just sent me a voice memo of Dave Portnoy's voice talking about our Monkey Boy documentary. And I was like, whoa, sick.
Starting point is 00:24:30 But no. But here it is. Those are getting better, too. All right, Anus Pod boys, Nick KB, no swag. Obviously been seeing this Monkey Boy stuff. Who is that? That's fake. That doesn't sound like Dave.
Starting point is 00:24:44 It does. That did not sound at all. It sounds just like Dave. It sounds exactly like Dave. It sounds like Nick M That's fake. That doesn't sound like Dave. It does. That did not sound at all. It sounds just like Dave. It sounds exactly like Dave. It sounds like Nick Mullen's impression. I didn't, yeah, that sounded fake to me. Really? I thought it sounded exactly like Dave.
Starting point is 00:24:54 I was like, oh, fuck yes. No, the tone wasn't right. The way that he kind of hits his B's, kind of, all right. Nobody's ever heard him say Nick or KB. There's nothing to pull from. There's no source material. So my uncle paid like $200 for an Obama one where it just transforms your voice.
Starting point is 00:25:16 It's more of a voice filter. So you say whatever. It's not like copying text. As Obama? Yeah. Does it work? It can be like live. It was very, very realistic.
Starting point is 00:25:26 There was a really old ad I used to get on Instagram where I would do that. And it was like an ad for that. And it was so... I think I actually posted it. It was like one of my first posts on Instagram. Because I was like, this is insane how bad this is. And I kept getting the ad for it. I got to find this.
Starting point is 00:25:43 But all this AI shit is only happening within the last six months or so, and it's getting better really fast. Really fast. Is it going to be more useful? Productive for society, like on an industrial level? Is it going to get work done? I think that any time you're talking to a helpline
Starting point is 00:26:02 or customer service, or if you have a problem with your Uber Eats order or something of that nature, I think that's what it's going to be. It's always been automated, though. I think it's going to be, I don't know, maybe better automation, or the people who used to have similar jobs to that will be automated, or prep sheets for podcasts and stuff will kind of be phased out. At what point do the majority of people trust robots giving you surgery over a human, a doctor?
Starting point is 00:26:27 I think a lot of surgery is robotic, though. I think a lot of surgery is basically the guys on the submarine playing a video game, and you're just programming what the surgery has to be, and it's a massive million-dollar robot. Your surgery should not be man. You don't think? You would rather do robot than man right now? Not right now
Starting point is 00:26:46 I think we should get I think we'll get to a level Where we're like I can't believe we ever had people doing surgery Yeah Some shaky hand hungover My name is Barack Obama President Barack Obama
Starting point is 00:26:57 Yeah, yeah, this one Hey, Obama Do I sound like Barack Obama to you? Hello, my name is Barack Obama. President Barack Obama hates Obama. Do I sound like Barack Obama? Oh my God, I just got this ad constantly. I want the app.
Starting point is 00:27:14 Mr. President, I didn't realize you were in the room. President Barack Obama. I don't know. Is that what you were posting on Instagram? You were just posting things? This Snapchat ad kills me every time because it sounds literally nothing like Obama. LMFAO.
Starting point is 00:27:29 It's a good caption. A hell of a caption. Did Bo like the post? No, definitely not. Bo was not liking my shit. Whoa, whoa, what's Ninja doing down there? What's Big Ass Hand Sass doing? Wait, what's your first post yo what the fuck viral i saw some shit recently it was like a tweet prompt like
Starting point is 00:28:01 i bet you can't name a fish that doesn't have the letter I in it. And just thousands of people were like, trout, cod. Yeah. Someone. It's just, obviously. People were like, this was easy. What the fuck do you mean? Cod.
Starting point is 00:28:19 And that guy's, meanwhile, he just made like 400,000. He got 5,000 replies. It's the future, man. Yeah. I can't think of a fish with an I in it. Without an I. Oh. There's like a fuck ton. Yeah, most.
Starting point is 00:28:35 All fish. Blue fish. I. But there's no states that start with N, though. You can't think of one. You could tweet that, or somebody could, and it would get 4,000 replies being like Nebraska. No, Nebraska.
Starting point is 00:28:49 God, you're such a fucking idiot. Oh, you got fooled by a street trivia. Yeah, I got stumped. A state ending in K. Couldn't think of it on the spot. It's New York.
Starting point is 00:29:05 New York always fucks me up on those. I never think of it on the spot. It's New York. Yeah. New York always fucks me up on those. I never think of it as a state. Really? Yeah. It's a state of mind, really.
Starting point is 00:29:11 It is. Wow. That's actually what it really is, actually. It's a New York state of mind. I bit my cheek so bad
Starting point is 00:29:21 and it's like unbearable pain. You said you threw up from a zing yesterday. I did. I did. Yeah, and it's unbearable pain. You said you threw up from a zin yesterday. I did. The zins betrayed me. It was the ultimate betrayal. It was a devastating low.
Starting point is 00:29:33 You threw up from a zin? I threw up from the zins. Bad. Why don't you just keep vaping? Because I read something that said that the zins are better for you. The rogues are shredding your gummy womies. I don't. The zins are making you throw up. The zins are not affecting my gums at for you. The rogues are shredding your gummy-wummies. I don't... The zins are making you throw up.
Starting point is 00:29:45 The zins are not affecting my gums at all, like the rogues were. But the zins are giving me bad tummy problems. Fast, do you see they've been playing the case race of... Yeah. The Joker baby case race out there? Yeah. All morning.
Starting point is 00:30:01 Why don't we shuffle through a couple videos so we get multiple views instead of just the one view of the whole case race? I guess this was your 21st birthday. Who's in charge of that? Look at Rutledge. I don't know. Someone was saying that there was some pretty controversial stool scenes playing last night.
Starting point is 00:30:21 What do you mean last night? They're not controversial. The Marty and Rhea stool scenes was just playing on that TV. Oh, that's super controversial. At like 5 p.m.? Yeah. Isn't that fucking insane? So was it just random videos?
Starting point is 00:30:32 I think, yeah. I feel like that one should have been, like, removed from the algorithm. Pull it from the playlist. Yeah, that was a weird stool scene. Frank got stuff done in the office. Can we talk about that? I'm just like gun shy of what we can talk about at all. Frank got stuff done?
Starting point is 00:30:58 Didn't we get a text from... Oh, yeah, I don't know if we can talk about that. Well, I didn't see this. I was probably too busy throwing up from my zins. Yeah, you're... It's not even, like... It's not even... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:10 You were too busy buzzing. Whatever. We just won't talk about anything. Yeah. I'll just never talk about the things that are on my mind. What is this message? I never got this message. Yeah, you did.
Starting point is 00:31:22 Where is it? It's in the Yak chat. Oh, my God. From who? Connor. Yeah, you did. Where is it? It's in the Yak chat. Oh, my God. From who? Connor. Oh, I see. Oh, shit, yeah. That's funny.
Starting point is 00:31:33 It's funny. It's a holler. Isn't that funny? It's true. We're doing exactly what Alex Cooper did. So can we just bleep what? Can we bleep? Can you do a live bleep?
Starting point is 00:31:41 Or we could just never say what he did, and we could have people really speculate about it for this episode. What are some of the crazy things that Frank could have done that I can't even talk about? Wow, that really sounds crazy. I'll mute you for five seconds. Say whatever you want. All right, you're back.
Starting point is 00:32:18 Thank goodness. We were never gone. Uh-huh. Yeah, that sounded hot. I think that was an entrapment because I almost said my favorite word. Uh-huh. I call that the Roan word. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:32:31 You call it the N word. Yeah. No, but Roan took it. The hard R for Roan. Took the power back again. Nuts. Speaking of power, I saw that they might be trying to put the pat bev not the pat bev pod not under sports in like the gm power structure but under culture wonder why
Starting point is 00:32:54 what are the other shows shows in culture? Culture's the most coded. Yeah, culture. It's a million dollars worth of game and the front desk with Ebony. Crazy. That's nuts. It's actually a culture podcast. I'm the GM of culture. Make the decisions. We have a huge culture meeting coming up.
Starting point is 00:33:28 Yeah, it was... I mean, they probably put back again on their culture. Yeah, actually, I need to look into that. Did they? I actually have no idea. I probably need to look into that. It's just a million dollars worth of game of macrodosing. What does it have in common?
Starting point is 00:33:48 Not much. One thing. One guy. That is deeply interesting, what culture means. Do it for the culture. That's what they used to say in Battle Rap when they wanted you to do something for free. Do it for the culture.
Starting point is 00:34:06 But now I mean something where you're just like, culture doesn't feed me dinner. Yeah. My kids can't eat the culture. Kids can't eat the culture. Fuck. Fuck me, man. Who's coming on Anus this week?
Starting point is 00:34:25 Next week we have a quadriplegic. We're going to a quadriplegic's home. Are you for real? Bearing gift. Gift, yeah, but we don't know what to get. What do you get a man that has everything? Get the man with the perfect life. Rudy said all you can get him is a painting.
Starting point is 00:34:48 Quadriplegics are ornery. Yeah? What about a VR headset? He probably already has one, right? That would be the first thing I get. Is quadriplegic no arms, no legs? Quad. Use of them.
Starting point is 00:35:02 So they have them. Okay. He's a good-ass dude, though he's he lets us poke I'm yeah I'm excited for him in the community when it comes to AI I bet you there's gonna be a lot of neat features to help them out in the future for sure like what legs was working legs they they have the same entertainment as us it's not like they have like a
Starting point is 00:35:27 I think accessibility VR like navigation especially with VR you'll be able to think you'll be able to think
Starting point is 00:35:36 what your level your game is yeah you don't have to smash buttons you can just like look to yeah right like striking vipers
Starting point is 00:35:42 ever see that Black Mirror episode you think X hard enough, it'll press X. Did you guys see the dude with no hands just crushing Cornhole? He's like a pro Cornhole player. He's nasty. Yes. I already am. I can't stand him.
Starting point is 00:35:56 You hate him? Is he sponsored by baked beans? Yeah. Every Cornhole is sponsored by baked beans or what else? There's a second. They are? And they're real cocky. They're so cocky. They're sponsored by baked beans or what else there's a second they are and they're real cocky so cocky they'll post the by bushes they'll post their highlights of them playing a random guy eating some cold beans yeah wait this dude's a beast he's incredible oh there's a wait he has
Starting point is 00:36:19 no legs either what's he on what's he doing cornhole rocky no hands is a Twitch streamer, too. What's he on? What's he doing? Cornhole. Rocky Nohands is a Twitch streamer that plays- Oh, that's insane. A mouth thing. I've seen that, TJ. That's impressive. This is impressive. No, no. Talk your shit, KB.
Starting point is 00:36:32 Head it off your chest. No, he was just fucking flailing and wailing, and it goes in. What's his ratio? I don't know. He's literally a professional. That's a cornhole player, that guy. Yeah, but I couldn't- Yeah's literally a professional that's a Cornell player that guy yeah but like I couldn't
Starting point is 00:36:46 yeah this what is this the same clip over and over or does he do this a lot it's the same clip over and over what's his stats
Starting point is 00:36:53 I watched across the line that was the same one holy shit I think like SportsCenter ESPN posted a couple days ago and I saw it and he hit
Starting point is 00:37:02 all four bags and the other guy did not the other pro that's what I saw it, and he hit all four bags, and the other guy did not. The other pro quarterback. That's what I saw as well. I know basketball is the hardest sport in the world because there's 1,000 dudes on TikTok who can make 100 threes in a row. Yeah, that's true. There's a lot of people who are, like, really good at basketball.
Starting point is 00:37:20 Shooting basketball. I love seeing the talent. They can't play. So, like, a retired player coming out to do something. I think Birdman just did it. He went out and played some people and didn't take off his sunglasses and went crazy. I think Brian Scalabrini did something similar.
Starting point is 00:37:34 Someone was making fun of him and he just showed up at the court. The top comment is always people coming to the revelation that the worst NBA player is still way better than us. Yeah. And there are guys that are NBA all-stars like Jeff Teague that someone like Kevin Garnett will call them trash. Like, you suck at basketball.
Starting point is 00:37:52 The fans are the most critical people. There's no one they don't—you have to be the best at the time to not get any— Even so, LeBron gets merciless. People are probably meaner and more derogatory towards his basketball skills than any other skills too yeah his skills as a person lebron is washed lebron is trash lebron is mid we would think yeah the same dudes that call lebron mid are the same dudes that call marco robbie mid it's like those that fan base goes like directly hand in hand same people that used to say okay boomer now just call everything mid online.
Starting point is 00:38:27 They say bro. They love saying bro. They start every single sentence with bro. Yeah, it's the subject. You know what I noticed the other day? That usually slang makes its way from the black community to the white community. We gave them What did we give them?
Starting point is 00:38:43 Broski. They do say Broski now. Broski is part of that was like a culture yeah and it's very fratty adding ski to everything that's like 80s we gave him rob schneider broski what's up broski but that was frat culture and now it's part of the the culture culture the real culture. So you're welcome. No big deal. Happy we could give you guys that. Imagine if I never met the broskies.
Starting point is 00:39:15 Tyler sent us a picture of Drake's book. A line per page and what did it say? It said there's two types of women. Women that give head and women I don't like. I bought that.
Starting point is 00:39:27 On the next page. Honestly, a good ass quote. There's a bunch of good quotes in there. They're just throw away lyrics of his. I wish I had that. That should have been my high school yearbook quote.
Starting point is 00:39:39 One says, what's the difference between going through your phone and going through hell? And then on the next page it says, I really can't tell. Stuff you've been saying on those apps says a lot. If I didn't know how to keep my comments to myself, I'd be commenting, shut the fuck up. He's my second favorite rapper right now.
Starting point is 00:40:01 To hunt BLP? Young boy. His cat just Instagrammed. His cat is worried about him. I think it was himself though. NBA Youngboy's cat is worried, very concerned about him.
Starting point is 00:40:16 Have you seen that? It sounds pretty serious. Yeah, go to NBA Youngboy's cat's Instagram. Seventh months later, you're asking me what's up. Oh, not much. Just keep in mind, I told you so, tucked. What's that mean? He was going to say, I told you so, but he's waiting to give it to him.
Starting point is 00:40:35 Say you found the right relationship, but that man got you going 50-50. You're either really bad at math or really silly. These are chat GBT-like lyrics. It's always some unemployed hoe trying to work my nerves. That's a good one. Did you see that? I might tweet that out right now. Every single time.
Starting point is 00:40:56 Every single time somebody's on my nerves. And link the yak. It's an unemployed hoe. Did you see that he has a co-author for that book? No. Imagine them getting over the table trying to hammer out one of these lines as if you couldn't just think of them off the top of your head. This one's a banger.
Starting point is 00:41:11 Tell Guinness I know who the most annoying bitch is. That's Drake and his friend. The book's upstairs. We could bring it down. We could read it cover to cover. I would love to. I like that. Having trouble figuring out if you're a devil missing a horn or a unicorn? It books upstairs. We could bring it down. We could read it cover to cover. I would love to. I would like that.
Starting point is 00:41:28 Having trouble figuring out if you're a devil missing a horn or a unicorn? Oh, my God. God damn. Why is he spitting like that? It's always an unemployment. I'm trying to work my nerves. Yeah, that's his cat. It's me, Neon. What does it say?
Starting point is 00:41:41 I've been seeing a lot. I'm so far from the screen. I've been seeing a lot. I'm so far from the screen. I've been seeing a lot my dad so unhealthy. It's scary. Even his mental health. He blows his money making people smile who don't care to see the signs. That's literally in their face. 20 Zans a day.
Starting point is 00:42:01 Please hashtag help. P.S. My bowl of saline and my first Birkin bag on the way. But really matters him. That's funny. And sad. That's like the most honest cry for help
Starting point is 00:42:16 that this man is probably capable of. But he posts that himself? He can only speak through his cat. Someone confronts him. Professor McGonagall. I think he's been confronted. And he's just like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Someone confronts him. He's so vulnerable. Professor McGonagall. I think he's been confronted and he's just like, I don't know what the fuck
Starting point is 00:42:27 you're talking about. I'm like a pussy. Wait, she did what? Yeah, he's just like, what the fuck? Alright, well, I'm like pissed about the accusation. I'm straight.
Starting point is 00:42:38 I'm cool. Who the fuck told you that? He doesn't know what she's talking about. I'm fine. He blocks the account. He and my cat are having big problems. you that. He doesn't know what she's talking about. I'm fine. He blocks the account. My cat are having big problems. Talking out of class.
Starting point is 00:42:51 What was the show where the cat could talk? Sabrina the T. Yeah. Oh yeah. But if he did post that himself that's horrifically sad. Yes. He's probably just fucking around. Yeah I mean if he's fucking around that's hilarious. Yeah. He's probably just fucking around. Yeah. I mean, if he's fucking around, that's hilarious.
Starting point is 00:43:06 Yeah. He's not. 20 Zans a day. Someone please help. I don't know. Of Mr. Ingallsworth. That sounds like. They always use this fucking Fortnite font.
Starting point is 00:43:16 It's hilarious. Wow. Wow. Wow colon. The Daily Loud changed the culture. Oh, this is Beezy TV. But they pioneered this. This is Beezy TV Digital.
Starting point is 00:43:32 And say cheese. Wait a minute. Does Beezy TV use that style of caption every single time? They definitely do. That might be my new favorite account. I can't believe you got a Birkin. Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Surprise trivia question.
Starting point is 00:43:47 What is the name of the cat and who voiced the cat? Is it someone famous? Either of those? It was some smarmy bastard. Was it Frazier? No. What's their initials? NB.
Starting point is 00:44:05 Neil Pat What's their initials? NB. Neil Brent... Pat... The name of the cat was Salem. Of course. And it was voiced by Nick Bacai. I don't know. Who was also on Angry Beavers. I also don't know what that is.
Starting point is 00:44:23 Angry Beavers is great. Which character did he play? The chubbier one. Can we see Nick Bacai? I want to just see if I recognize his face. Very smarmy. Smarmy bastard. That cat was so smarmy I couldn't even get through an episode.
Starting point is 00:44:37 Yeah, I didn't like the show. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. You guys recognize him? Oh, my God. But he's the smarmiest man of all time. Look at his closed-mouth smile, pervert. Steven, you're the only person that has a closed-mouth smile or that is not a pervert.
Starting point is 00:44:56 I really believe that's one of the most perverted things you could do. Laughing with your mouth closed? I definitely am a closed mouth smile. No, you're not. I am. You open your mouth to laugh. Oh, that's smirk. Yeah, that's...
Starting point is 00:45:12 That's also your signature cocksucker smirk. Oh, that's his regular... Yeah, he played Norbert. The smarmy beaver. I like Daggett more anyway. Is that the other one's name? You would know. I was asking Shay.
Starting point is 00:45:29 That cat thing is so fucking funny. What's the account called? The cat? Neon Genesis or something? Neon Selene. Neon Selene. I gotta look at this. Because the cat only shops at Selene.
Starting point is 00:45:40 Wait, can we see the other cat posts? Bust that pussy open for us, Celine bag. Oh, just one other post. Looks like KB's profile. It's this one. Says stay out my yard for the last time. I ain't saying it no more. KB, you got to start doing this with Piper.
Starting point is 00:46:04 Or just steal captions. Or see if they could be friends. I would like her to meet another cat. Has she? No, never. Well, I guess at the shelter, but not in a while. She's rat battling? Damn.
Starting point is 00:46:23 Damn, damn, damn. Kyle, your sister published another blog about a family member another family member that hasn't been touched yet yeah oh jack bauer oh jack bauer yeah man of many secrets that's exactly what she said i don't know much about it i don't know how she filled a blog up. Does he have a very tragic life? We don't need to keep publicizing every person in our family, making them some type of internet personality. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:46:55 But I believe she also said he's a man of many secrets. He is. I don't know anything about him. Are you talking about the guy from 24? No, that's his name. Jack Bauer is his dad. That's his chagrin. And always sunny.
Starting point is 00:47:08 And Kyle's cousin, uncle, something? Cousin, yeah. My only youngest. My only younger. Your youngest. My only youngest cousin. Everybody has only one youngest cousin. Well, if they have a cousin.
Starting point is 00:47:22 God damn, Jack Bauer. Bauer's at it again. Man of many secrets. I wish people said that about me. You're an open book, though. I know. I would be so secretive if I didn't have the podcast. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:36 No one would know shit. No, we still don't. Fact. That's how good I am. Everybody thinks that it's you everybody thinks everything's you yeah could be true might as well lean into that i am fine with it true everyone thinks doug winnow is you everyone thinks that your sister's blog is you that's funny that they think that you would just be creating all this extra stuff but not want any credit for it exactly samuel clemens
Starting point is 00:48:05 in all that let's just do it for the love of the game for the love of the content game yeah i love this fucking content game never want to caught the bug yeah i'm gonna hang up my laptop anytime soon. Started wearing less and going out more. When's he leave? When's Drizzy leave New York? He's here all week, right? He was here all last week, too. Someone said that he was supposed to come to the stand last night.
Starting point is 00:48:37 Seriously, because Dave Chappelle was there. Were you there? I was there briefly. No way. Did you see the goat? I did not. How about Chappelle? No.
Starting point is 00:48:49 Chappelle does that regularly? He's been at the stand a lot recently. I think he's there again tonight. Does he live in New York? I don't know. Someone like Chappelle, that has to be just straight pure passion for the game. Yeah, he also charges $200 a ticket. He doesn't need any money.
Starting point is 00:49:03 There's a finite amount of tickets at the stand. He could probably have a bigger venue. Yeah, I think he just wants to work on material and stuff. Isn't that a big part of being a comic? You have to hit the New York scene, do mics in New York all the time, can't just be on the road? I mean, there's not a lot of people that are as big as him. I'm just referencing what I've heard of comedians talking about on their podcasts and stuff. I don't know. Has anyone died
Starting point is 00:49:28 at the comedy cellar? I don't know. Definitely. It's an institution. Someone must have died. Maybe someone drank themselves to death or something like that. Or laughed themselves and wrapped themselves down. That would make you feel good.
Starting point is 00:49:46 Totally. Or died on stage. A comic. People have had strokes and heart attacks on stage. Scary. Bronnie having a heart attack today is terrifying. Did Shaq's son have heart issues too? That's my least favorite thing to find out about.
Starting point is 00:50:04 Someone healthy, young. Scary stuff, man. Shit. Life's so scary that it's almost not. If you know what I mean. I know exactly what you mean, man. Forget it. So many different things can happen that it's almost like, fuck it.
Starting point is 00:50:21 Embrace the life that you are given. Here's to more life. For real. For real. For real. Mm-hmm. embrace the life that you are giving him just a more life for real for real for fucking real your voice just warble there they said that their Ebony is intentionally not letting Mr. Sparky get his
Starting point is 00:50:42 songs off on here he has more in the chamber. I saw him early today. He was touched with that edit of adding... Yeah, it meant a lot to him. Yeah. Oh, you showed it to him? He came up and was like, hey, let me see that,
Starting point is 00:50:54 because I guess somebody told him. He was brought to tears by the edit. He was really touched. And he says, we're finally going to get that bag. What if he gets signed off of it? Might. You know that new sound you've been looking for? Boss to change my life.
Starting point is 00:51:13 Imagine if he got picked up by a major record label. Motown. Yeah. I woke up this morning Woke up this morning Every day, every night I still change my life Change my life Everything is alright Everything is alright I'm on my knees at night
Starting point is 00:51:35 On your knees at night It's alright Oh, don't look at me It's alright My God is right here now You gotta feel him right here now Oh, my God is so good Sounds like the soundtrack to Ray. Or like Elvis peering into that shed in the scene.
Starting point is 00:52:00 I need to steal this time. Now I'm eating right now. Now I'm looking good now. Now I'm looking good now. Everything is alright. I want to hear Cartman sing this. I know. Goddamn. That was good.
Starting point is 00:52:20 He's the best. I love you, Mr. Sparky. He's just such a legend. I'm starting this move. I'm in the middle of it. I started putting stuff in boxes last night and today, and I'm getting rid of so much shit, and I feel it in my brain.
Starting point is 00:52:36 It feels so good in my brain to let stuff go, just get rid of pairs of shoes that I'll probably never wear again, but I remember when I got them them and I was excited about them. So nice. Those new shoes? No. Those Air Maxes?
Starting point is 00:52:50 Yeah. Which ones? Not the ones Kyle has. Kyle's got the better Air Maxes for real. Those are the really expensive ones. Those are. Are they? These are like $100.
Starting point is 00:53:01 Those are the ones. These are like $100 too. No, they're not. Yes, they are. They're not. Really expensive? Yes. How much?
Starting point is 00:53:08 I don't know. No more than $140 or $160. I've been like, holy shit, those are expensive. No. Yeah. That's not true. It is. More than $160?
Starting point is 00:53:17 What model? Those are the Air Max 90. I don't know. I don't fucking know. Are they 95? Two cultures dead, man. We're post-sneaker. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:26 We're in the post-sneaker world, as we all know in here, with the sneakers we're wearing. Air Max 95s. Tay, are you bringing all your shoes to Chicago? No, I'm getting rid of a bunch of them. Got to. Oh, yeah, they're not. Why were you talking about farting at the urinal in the text last night?
Starting point is 00:53:43 Yeah, but you only gave us two options. You didn't give us anything. Rude or cool. It's funny. I farted at the urinal. Yeah, it's not. Well, like, cool being, like, acceptable. Not like.
Starting point is 00:53:52 Why did that come to your mind? Thought about it. I don't know. Do you rip ass at the urinal? You're in the bathroom. You should be able to fart in the urinal. You would assume it was on accident from the person. I guess, yeah, you are assuming that.
Starting point is 00:54:10 I don't think I've... None of my farts are accidental. No. It's an accident that someone heard it. You might have tried to open your ass cheek to the perfect vector where it's a silent fart. I know just where to grab and pull to... I had a wild... You're ripping apart challah bread.
Starting point is 00:54:29 I had an unpredictable explosion fart the other day when I was in the airport. Nothing's ever been serene in your ass. Yeah. I was at one of those Hudson News' and I had my headphones in and I had to fart. I thought it was going to be a silent one and it was
Starting point is 00:54:45 so loud. Everyone turned and looked at me and I just pretended I didn't know what was happening. It was mortifying. Get up and look around yourself. Actually, it wasn't. It was very funny. Your asshole needs a vacation soon.
Starting point is 00:55:01 Your diet needs a revamping. I don't know, man. You put nothing natural in your body. I know. Your diet needs a revamping. I don't know, man. I try my best. You put nothing natural in your body. I try my best. You come in every day with a Red Bull and a... Best bar. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:15 There's no ingredient of any of that that occurs. Even the stuff that's put in the Quest bar, like an Oreo flavor, you have to fake an Oreo flavor to put that inside the Quest bar to give it more flavor. How do you think I stay so lean? How do you think I keep it so tight? Artificial ingredients.
Starting point is 00:55:33 Shout out to Quest. Zero carbs. How much? $1.13. Yeah, what did I... That's what I said. Damn, Roan. That's big baller shit.
Starting point is 00:55:47 Right. How much are those shoes, Nicky? I don't know. More than 113, I bet. I skate these. Losas is the number one pocket watcher. Yeah, I know. We determined that on Son of a Boy Dad yesterday.
Starting point is 00:55:59 I see no problem with it either. Well, that's because you're looking from the bottom. I'm curious to know how much money my boys have. I don't think that's that crazy of a thing. And honestly, that curiosity never goes away in life. I always want to know how much my boys have. I don't know why it's like a disrespectful thing. I'm not asking poor people. That would be disrespectful. I'm asking really rich people. I'm like, how much money do you have in your bank account right now? And then they love to tell you.
Starting point is 00:56:25 It's a genre of TikTok. People love to say. It's insane that people answer that. Yeah. One thing that infuriates me on TikTok is when the guy goes up to people and says, what do you do for a living? And someone will be like, make moves. He finds the worst people in the world.
Starting point is 00:56:41 The fact that people can't just say what their job is and they want to be like, oh, what's the best part of it? Shit like this. They say the most nothingness. How do you think you explain that to someone? Which is like your parents for what you're doing for work.
Starting point is 00:56:58 Which one? The TikTok guy? The TikTok guy. He's like, oh, I wake up at 5 p.m. and then I hit the streets for 30 minutes and I ask strangers what they do for a living. Oh, that guy. I don't know. I think Kyle Kuzma is always like, I inspire people. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:17 All right. Kuzma was on there. Have you ever seen when a girl will be like, nothing? And then all the comments are like, classic fucking whores. Unemployed hoes, dude. It's always the unemployed hoes trying to work my nerves. And they always say nothing exactly like that. Say it again.
Starting point is 00:57:38 No, I don't know how I did it. You said it perfectly. Dialed it in pretty good, but I can't do it again. Nothing. When the dude that's asking that question gets that sound bite, he probably is like, yes. This is going to take me to the top. I've heard people claim that they were on that, and he manipulated what they said.
Starting point is 00:58:01 He either told them straight up to say, like, I don't have a job or... But anytime someone says something to intentionally sound cool, it makes them sound so much worse. Yep. I've never even seen one of those guys. They're at one intersection. Or in Soho at that one intersection. Like Broom Street or whatever it is. Barstool changed my life now.
Starting point is 00:58:31 Changed my life. Everything is all right now. No meeting good now. I'm on my knees every night. What was that line? All right, gay. You have a spot here at Barstool. Gay and black?
Starting point is 00:58:54 Sparky D, welcome to the club. Welcome to the culture department. You don't hunt, do you? Steven, how often do you get heads standing up I feel like we over like that's not how people get heads Jay definitely strictly gets heads
Starting point is 00:59:16 with his fists on his head that should never be like the go to when I get home I want you on your fucking knees who is actually getting on their knees I think that's more of a video tactic for the angles When I get home, I want you on your fucking knees. Who is actually getting on their knees? I think that's more of a video tactic. For the angles. I need you waiting for me.
Starting point is 00:59:35 Shit. It's always an unemployed hoe trying to work my nerves. Oh, I swear to God. Che? Che? Never really. Yeah. Che, do you think you'd do that more, or do you think you'd use standing 69 more?
Starting point is 00:59:57 You don't have to answer that. It's got to be head. You don't have to answer that. It's got to be head. Please say you. You're really thinking so hard. You've done the latter? You don't have to answer that. Please say you're really thinking so hard. You've done the latter?
Starting point is 01:00:13 Doing standing 69 more than you get a blowjob is the most insane thing on earth. No, you said standing blowjob. That's just not a practical thing. I got my first standing 69. Practical. I had my first standing 69 before I got my first handjob. That's how I lost my virginity. Did you guys ever see the clip of Nate and Asa doing that in the office?
Starting point is 01:00:32 Yeah, it's funny. You haven't, Tess? Oh, it's great. This actually might be the best. There should be a Barstool Award for this video. Yeah, I think there will be. Best standing 69. Can we flip the video upside down so Nate's the one that's flipped? He does it so seamlessly.
Starting point is 01:00:46 It was good. This is actually Nate's best moment. This is his best career moment. I've never seen this. I would love to. While we find that from the prep sheet, what is the best type of oil to cook with? Anything but seed.
Starting point is 01:01:03 Olive, coconut, or avocado. You got me, like... Is avocado a seed oil? I don't know. He's got me hyper-paranoid about seed oil. Billy and Spud said that that was a seed oil. Avocado oil? Yeah, but they were also, like, under the impression...
Starting point is 01:01:18 They did not fuck with seed oil. They scared me with that, too. People that cut out seed oil, like, don't get sunburned anymore. Yeah, they said that apparently it's like your body can't process it, so it just turns it into fat. Yeah. What the hell is seed oil? Exactly. Yeah, it's everything. Canola?
Starting point is 01:01:33 Is that seed? I don't know. Everything's made of red six and seed oil. I just used red sixes in everything. That's scary. What is the yellow one? It's like... Yellow five, red six. Yellow five is the one that makes you lose your semen. Red one. That's Sass's entire diet.
Starting point is 01:01:50 Yeah. It's a combination of seed oils, red and yellow five and six. Your cum has to be like that shit the girl dipped her hand in and saw to get that key. It's what comes out of your esophagus When you throw up after a zin Oh gross Yeah you're like that lizard that spit on Terrible throw up It wasn't even like a beer
Starting point is 01:02:13 Because I didn't drink enough to be throwing up from drinking I had like three beers Sometimes the mixture is just chaotic It was terrible dude I had to close out and then be like I thought I was going to throw up in the Uber. And then I got home and I did the thing where you lay down. I'm not going to throw up. You know what would have made it better?
Starting point is 01:02:29 Some high noons. Oh, yeah. High noon tequila seltzer. A high noon tequila seltzer would have made your night. Totally. That is the number one mess up whenever I don't have a good night. It's like, oh, yeah. I didn't have my high noon tequila seltzers.
Starting point is 01:02:46 I didn't enjoy a delicious grapefruit or a scintillating lime or the tasty, tasty strawberry that's taking over. Go home unsatisfied. Yeah. It is a frustrating dissatisfaction that will follow you for days. But luckily, I haven't been making that mistake often because I just like high noon so much, 100 calories, gluten-free, et cetera, et cetera. You know that that stuff is good because we got a fridge stocked up.
Starting point is 01:03:09 And this ain't even an ad. You're just saying. No, you're just spitting. This is off the top. It's a lifestyle. They have to keep them under lock and key. Because I literally was taking them, and whenever someone would come to the office, I'd be like, can we get a high noon? Yeah, every single time.
Starting point is 01:03:25 Talk about it over a high noon. And they don't want me to do that anymore, so now somebody who I've never met before has a key to this. Just wrong. It's just not fair to guys like us. But luckily, guys like you can get a high noon on Drizzly or you can go to highnoonspears.com to find where high noons are sold near you, liquor store, Drizzly, really whatever your druthersonspears.com to find where highnoons are sold near you.
Starting point is 01:03:45 Liquor store, Drizzly, really whatever your druthers, but just make sure it's a high noon. I got like 10 places around me that sell highnoons. They're blowing up. Big ass signs on all the stores. We got highnoons. Nick, we have a meeting tomorrow. Yeah, we do. For what?
Starting point is 01:04:01 We can't tell you about it. Co-producing a show. Oh, yeah, I heard. In passing. Why don't you say that? Yeah, where were you? Around the corner. Someone came up to Rona and they go,
Starting point is 01:04:13 can't wait for our meeting tomorrow. Fucking A. That's your impression of Erica? Whoa! On it again. Sass wasn't looking from the beginning. Oh, he's high-fiving as he's doing it. Yes, he one-hand holds her. In a high-five.
Starting point is 01:04:34 Wow. Damn. That's like just the audio's Nate's ringtone. Oh, totally. Wow. So much more joy and camaraderie back then before us. Yeah. Intruded.
Starting point is 01:04:52 I mean, that office hated each other. Everyone hated each other. That was one unifying moment for sure. I know. I was watching. You miss it? A lot of people seem to miss it. I don't get nostalgic like that.
Starting point is 01:05:05 It was awesome that that... Back to HQ. HQ 2. Oh, another angle. So he's flippant like he's done it before. He's so smooth. His core strength is crazy. Look at her legs flailing.
Starting point is 01:05:21 You know he had her screaming. Oh, totally. We used to gather around and watch the rundown like it was an event, like it was passing down oral tradition. It was still like that when I first started here. Yeah, I remember that. I remember everyone would gather around. It's so crazy that they offered the rundown to be a show on Comedy Central,
Starting point is 01:05:41 and we had a week of it and then fumbled it. That is insane. Wait, why? Comedy Central didn we had a week of it and then fumbled it. That is insane. Wait, why? Comedy Central? It didn't become a show. It was the first Super Bowl that I went to, the Super Bowl in Houston,
Starting point is 01:05:54 I think it was 2016 and the top of 2017 or some shit like that. And they had the rundown live for three straight nights, maybe four straight nights. And we thought it was going to be a Comedy
Starting point is 01:06:05 Central show. Yeah, we're still waiting to hear back from Comedy Central. And they just didn't want us kind of meandering. It would have been a really good show for
Starting point is 01:06:13 Comedy Central, especially if we had kept that contract. Could have been a different direction for them because Comedy Central now, what do they do?
Starting point is 01:06:19 South Park? Oh, no. Yeah, I think just South Park. I think they just live off South Park. The office, I guess just South Park. I think they just live off South Park. The office, I guess.
Starting point is 01:06:29 Could have been us. Used to be a fucking institution, man. A lot of those networks literally just thrive off of one show now. Yep. What channel is Impractical Jokers on? It's on two TVs. Two TVs. It's only Impractical Jokers. Did you see Ridiculousness?
Starting point is 01:06:42 That's MTV, right? Yeah, I think so. Is Tosh.0 still a show? Does still do that no no i just saw he's touring and like doing stand-up no he does that apparently his stand-up is like phenomenal i heard that too yeah someone was telling me about one of his bits i think it's in like a special but um about like about how someone like there was there there was a hit and run or something and some girl died and they added speed bumps on the street. And then he's like, what a fucking terrible reminder that has to be
Starting point is 01:07:15 every time the parents drive over those speed bumps. It's incredible. What, did he get canteed or something like that? No. He's always towed the line by getting away with it, unless he's done something worse than what I think. People have a problem with him. Definitely.
Starting point is 01:07:33 But they just have a problem with so many people. He probably made so much sweet, sweet bank. Oh, my God, yeah. I would like to see him in Evan Peters' makeout. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. People are worried about Evan Peters. out. Yeah for sure. Yeah. We're worried about Evan Peters.
Starting point is 01:07:46 I think Dahmer destroyed. They thought it like you know they were saying that before Ledger. They were saying that before with American
Starting point is 01:07:53 Horror Story because I think he said it right. He's like these roles are destroying my brain and then he went and just believe that he was like I'm taking a break from method
Starting point is 01:08:00 story. Yeah. That probably would be fucked. Yeah. I think I mean he's played like 10 different serial killers and like... I don't know, just be a professional and don't serial kill someone. I'm pretty sure you'll be alright.
Starting point is 01:08:12 I just put in so much more work than I thought. I started reading their Wikipedias. Yeah. What kind of work are you talking about? Ryan Gosling, the work he puts in. What kind of work are you talking about? What was the show, Half Nelson? He went and lived with a Brooklyn teacher
Starting point is 01:08:28 to prepare for that? Oh, I have no idea. Cillian Murphy? Has Cillian Murphy? I don't know. But the Oppenheimer guy started six months before filming, like, studying.
Starting point is 01:08:40 Studying? I would just go day of. Some people do that. But studying what? His character? Yeah. I was in this movie called Bodied. It was a battle rap movie.
Starting point is 01:08:51 I was a very small side character. We got to pull up a clip. Please don't, but I read for the lead of the movie, and they were like, hell no, you're not getting this. But for my little scene, I was like, I'm going to take this very seriously. I'm going to be focused and just lock in from for the parts that i need to do it was all rappers in the movie so they had us in a green room and these dudes are just passing around blunts mercilessly
Starting point is 01:09:17 so i was just high out of my mind all i wanted to do was be focused and locked in for the scenes of the movie and i for the one scene where it mattered at all, I was just absolutely baked out of my mind. Did you have a line that you had to have focused? I had lines and I had a close-up that they cut. They cut the close-up. It was supposed to be me swigging a beer, and I just couldn't do it naturally.
Starting point is 01:09:38 It was too high? I was too high to do it. Are you in SAG as well? Yeah. No. He's on the writers' guild. I was too high to do that. Are you in SAG as well? Yeah. No. Just all writers go. The first Rediscovering America we ever did was in the Great Lakes,
Starting point is 01:09:51 like the first sponsored one. I had my first ever edible for the first scene where we went and checked out that sled that they built us. Oh, yeah. That was horrible. I was high, too. I was freaking out. We all decided to do it Oh, yeah. That was horrible. I was high, too. I was freaking out.
Starting point is 01:10:06 We all decided to do it for some reason. Who was it? Fasoli was pushing on you? Fasoli wasn't on that. Fasoli's first one was New England. Oh, Donnie? Donnie. Ah, Donnie.
Starting point is 01:10:18 I don't know if he did it. He probably didn't. Straight and narrow guy. He's going to be wed soon. I know. Is he out in Chicago? He's back now, but he's going. Yeah, he's there.
Starting point is 01:10:32 He's going to be living there. You got to get him on Son of a Boy, Dad. You should. Before he goes. You never fucking see him again. I know. Don't say that. I'm really just hoping for that quid pro quo.
Starting point is 01:10:45 I was like, Donnie, let me come on a trip. He's like, let me go on Son of a Boy Dad. I was like, 100%. I want to go on a trip with him. So wait, he appears on a podcast. And I get to travel internationally. I was like, yeah, that's the easiest this for that of all time. Deal, deal.
Starting point is 01:11:00 I want to go somewhere with him so bad. Damn, you should be doing that. I want to see the world. You've seen the world, but you should be doing it with a camera on your face. Where haven't you been? Yeah. What else do you need, man? South America, Asia?
Starting point is 01:11:13 I don't know. Never been to any of those places? Tons of countries in Europe? The U.S. has so much. It has so much. Yeah, it's so easy to see the U.S.,s though i feel like going somewhere hard with him would be worth it yeah and it would check a box i wish you guys have done that serious you're rediscovering oh yeah you and me both i can't believe yeah they fucked you nah neighborhoodats, we were like, dude, next year is going to be crazy.
Starting point is 01:11:46 We're going to go to Hawaii, Italy, all these places. And they were like, so by the way, we're dropping everything. They're like, you guys can do New York City if you want. We were trying. You could do four episodes in Florida. We're trying to overlap for rediscovering Hawaii so we could be with you guys. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we got fucked.
Starting point is 01:12:04 Well, not really. They told me the year before, they're like, yeah, you never know when it's going to dry up, so you might as well go crazy and go to Hawaii this year. I was like,
Starting point is 01:12:12 I'm saving it for next year. I got a plan. We had the choice between Alaska or Hawaii, right? For our finale. That's funny that you chose the much worse one. It was awesome.
Starting point is 01:12:21 Alaska's awesome. I'm so... That was the best place I've ever been. Have you been to Hawaii? Oh, no. Yeah, I guess not. It's awesome. That was the best place I've ever been. Have you been to Hawaii? Oh, no. I guess not. It's better.
Starting point is 01:12:28 That sounds sick. Yeah, I believe it. It was very cold and depressing. It was beautiful. That was what it had going for it. And Fasoli got to flex on that guy that he was in Alaska filming. I'll have you know, I'm with the biggest media company in the world. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:48 Let him get away with that dirty lie. This guy's with the AP. My God is so good. God is so good. I wonder what of the live events like we're going to have
Starting point is 01:13:01 the football game again this year right? Or the basketball game? Is that shit happening again? Communication is at an all-time low in this company. I don't know. Yeah, I think you just gotta give up on communicating with people. I've done that completely. Don't even make eye contact. Just keep your head down. Do your shit and get out. This is something you've tried?
Starting point is 01:13:23 It's something I've been doing for three years. Have you met everybody we work with? No, most people I have not met. You've never formally met Kate. No, no. Genuinely not. She left before you could ever meet one another.
Starting point is 01:13:40 Yeah. It's like Legolas and Frodo. They didn't have any lines together. They didn't? I never together. They didn't? No. Never spoke. I never finished that movie, and on the way back from Africa, I tried to get it in,
Starting point is 01:13:51 and it put me right to sleep. You're dumb. I tried so hard. I just wanted to be able to have something that we could relate about. We have nothing. You're asleep. Breakfast at Tiffany's.
Starting point is 01:14:01 Yeah. That's the only thing, though. That's one thing we got. You were so sleepy on the way back from Africa, though. Yeah. Probably a little crank's. Yeah. That's the only thing, though. That's one thing we got. You were so sleepy on the way back from Africa, though. Yeah. Probably a little cranky. Yeah. These names are too hard to remember.
Starting point is 01:14:11 I don't want to go. I don't want to go home. It's changed my life. Take me back. I want to be with the tigers. That's what you were like, dude. There's no tigers in Africa, you fucking idiot. I want to be with the jaguars.
Starting point is 01:14:25 Take me back. How are you not getting an African animal? You're so funny. I miss the koalas. I miss the kangaroos. You got one. I gave up. I'm done with that. I'm not really that bullshit in these days.
Starting point is 01:14:48 I'm more just keeping it really pretty serious. That's a line from Drake's book. Oh, yeah. It's always an unemployed hoe trying to work my nerves. Every fucking time. I don't know if I really know any unemployed hoes, to be fully honest. Nobody works. Yeah, I guess that's true.
Starting point is 01:15:08 It's insane. The gyms are just constantly crowded any time of day. And Mykonos. They're all in Mykonos. It's funny that you're also there. Yeah, well, I don't worry. No, I'm part of the problem, but it's the new thing. You're there.
Starting point is 01:15:22 There's all these unemployed fucking people. I get so pissed. You're not just like this. There's all these unemployed fucking people. I get so pissed. Just like you're not working. Yeah. Not at all. Well, it is funny because there is like a like people assume that there's like this like direct correlation with like being successful and going to the gym. But all these people are going to the gym at like 2 p.m.
Starting point is 01:15:36 The most jack dudes I know are unemployed. Yeah. Like borderline living in poverty. Yeah. They don't work. I'm thinking of a billion examples right now. Yeah. Dudes who are like,
Starting point is 01:15:48 yeah, I'll just be a volunteer firefighter, be at the gym the entire day. I'm going to start a workout class, a boxing, a kickboxing class. You got to start a program, like a sign-up program. Definitely. A course.
Starting point is 01:16:01 What would our course be on, though? I feel like we have a wide base of knowledge i've never had the slightest desire to teach i've never been inspired to teach like pass along knowledge that sounds horrible he's kind of putting on it is yeah i do love putting on maybe i do want to teach i want want to lead. But putting someone on to math is not a good put on. Who the fuck's done that? Your math teacher. They're putting you on to math. Oh.
Starting point is 01:16:34 Who the fuck did that? I was going to get pissed. Who the fuck's trying that? Albert Einstein's trying to put me on to relativity. My boy just put me on to long division. Stoked on that. My put-ons have been like The Sopranos and The Weeknd.
Starting point is 01:16:52 And it works. There's so many dudes that are like that. Thank you, man. JB, you need a six? Yeah, I've been done one in... Give me one now. Experimentally, I'm going to tell you how it makes me feel. I'm done with this in give me one now let me see experimentally I'm gonna tell you how it makes me feel
Starting point is 01:17:07 I'm done with this give me that experimentally keep it I don't want I don't want the sixes anymore fucking poison tastes
Starting point is 01:17:20 shitty yeah sterile the throat chemically poison nothing yet Tastes shitty. Yeah. Kind of like sterile. Sterils the throat. Chemically. Poison. Nothing yet.
Starting point is 01:17:32 It's fucking Belle Biv Devoe. Mm-hmm. You knew that, though. Mm-hmm. Of course, you already knew that, Nick. No, I didn't. You put me on. Belle Biv Devoe. You know, did you know Virginia not only extends further west than West Virginia,
Starting point is 01:17:48 but further west than Toledo? Interesting. The tip of Virginia is like central Tennessee. Some people aren't shocked by that. If you've made that sweet drive across the country, you know. I've never been to Virginia. I love that drive. You've never been in Virginia? You've never been to Virginia? It's like the most been to, but that's it? I've never been to Virginia. I love that drive. I've never been in Virginia.
Starting point is 01:18:06 Oh, you've never been to Virginia? It's like the most been to, but that's it. I've never been to Virginia. I've been to Virginia like 30 times. I don't even think I've ever driven through. Yes, you have. There's not a chance you missed that. I've never fucking been to Virginia.
Starting point is 01:18:16 I've never been to DC. Yes. And you've definitely been through Virginia. Flew into DC. No, I took the Amtrak from New York and stayed in D.C. No, there's no way. You never went across the bridge? No, I just went to, I was there for one night.
Starting point is 01:18:32 Not even Arlington? Yeah. Arlington's like four seconds away from D.C. Then probably. Yeah. You have to cross that one bridge. I love Arlington. It's like a second fucking home to me.
Starting point is 01:18:46 They hate you there. When I was in Drafthouse. Oh, man, I'm farting so much. Are you really farting like that? Because I am. I just did. Just let out so much fart. How are you guys farting?
Starting point is 01:18:58 Why are you guys farting like that? This is West Bars. West Bars and Zins. Sounds like a song I know sounds like a Drake lyric yeah yeah now I'm like kind of nauseous
Starting point is 01:19:11 this sucks yeah I told you take that shit out it's poison forgive me for my zins oh my god forgive me for my zins father forgive me
Starting point is 01:19:20 for I have zined not y'all thinking I'm about to zin at the Barclays Center y'all not at the Barclay Center. Y'all not at the Barclay Center. You need to reevaluate life. Y'all gotta reevaluate life if you think I'm
Starting point is 01:19:32 about to pop a zin at the Barclay. I love that man. I love him with my whole heart. You see he announced he's not ready for marriage. I did, yeah. He said it felt ancient. Well, it's an ancient, but he's like, I will one day, but career first. You've done it.
Starting point is 01:19:52 He's still got money to be made. Yeah. You know who's probably getting mad that he's not ready for marriage? Adonis? Unemployed ho. An unemployed ho. Yeah. Unemployed hoes love marriage more than anyone else.
Starting point is 01:20:05 What's their way of getting a job? Marines. Some of them are addicted to marriage. Yes. Who do you think keeps... They're not addicted to marriage. They love fucking proposing.
Starting point is 01:20:22 They never make it to the party. They love proposing when they're like 16. They love fucking proposing. Yeah, proposing. Never make it to the party. They love proposing when they're like 16. They fucking love proposing. Yeah. Oh, man, I just watched Jarhead the other night. That movie is so, like, dark. Yeah. It's so good.
Starting point is 01:20:34 It's so good. I love it. But those guys all get fucked. Like, all of their wives cheat on them. Yeah. That scene where the wife, like, sends him, like, a movie. That's so fucked up. Then like halfway through
Starting point is 01:20:46 the movie it just cuts into her fucking the neighbor. And all the guys are watching. They're like whoa whoa whoa. Yeah they're like let's
Starting point is 01:20:52 watch this. Yeah. They push the other guy. Yeah. Woo. Oh my god. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:56 And this is just fiction but still. I bet you that happens. What's the term for it? Jody? I don't know. You always hear about it. Is it a Jody that's a
Starting point is 01:21:02 guy that's not in the military that fucks your wife? That's a great. Jody. That always hear about it. Is that a Jody that's a guy that's not in the military that fucks your wife? That's a great job. Yeah. Professional. That's a great career. That's a respectable career.
Starting point is 01:21:14 Sounds like some shit that Oppenheimer would do. A piece of shit. Piece of fucking work. God, I hate that guy. He's a real asshole. That guy's an asshole. I mean, that's the facts.
Starting point is 01:21:29 He was going around banging his watch. I agree. Yeah. What was he doing outside of that? Were the chicks bragging about that? Totally.
Starting point is 01:21:37 Like when it was like on the newspaper that we dropped the bomb and I guess I fucked him. I mean, one of them didn't make it, so.
Starting point is 01:21:45 I didn't watch the movie yet. Oh, goddammit. I. I mean, one of them didn't make it, so. I didn't watch the movie yet. Oh, goddammit, I didn't either. One of them didn't make it? Like, they died? Don't. Don't. Fucked her to death.
Starting point is 01:21:53 Poor girl. Vacationing in Hiroshima. What? Yeah. He had no idea. That's irony. Yeah. That can't be true.
Starting point is 01:22:04 That has to be fiction. He's just on the beach. Time for a getaway in the middle of war. That's the ending to the boy in the striped pajamas. Babe, where are you at? Oh, I'm actually in Hiroshima right now. No! Babe.
Starting point is 01:22:23 Babe, Get out She starts sprinting Babe what's that in the background? Is that one whistling? Is that a glove trucker's game? Does that shit whistle? I think so Babe tell me you're at the game
Starting point is 01:22:41 Tell me you're at a yin yang twins concert Babe tell me you're listening the game. Tell me you're at a Yin Yang Twins concert. Babe, tell me you're listening to Don't Worry, Be Happy. You know that there's like a Mexican whistle for like fuck your mother or something? Chinga tu madre. Really? It's hot. Like if you hear a dude saying that to
Starting point is 01:23:06 you a dude whistling a spanish-speaking brother uh whistling that at you it's it's like go fuck your mother or something like that i have to throw i think you could laugh with them i think they're just you're just having fun could i do okay chinga tu madre, if you hear that, someone's saying something nasty. Kyle, there's no chance on how you can whistle. I'm going to swallow the mic. You're an in-whistler? Yeah, I have to breathe in.
Starting point is 01:23:41 I think I can whistle in and out, which means technically I can whistle forever. Your ambidextrous whistler. A circular whistler. Kenny G. Oh, you snore. Wow, you can never stop. You can never stop.
Starting point is 01:23:59 You know who's such a good whistler? Frankie Borelli. He's good at impressions. People still do the finger whistle like old men? I've tried to do that forever. I can't. Big T goes crazy with it too. That's the least surprising thing. He's got like, he can do songs
Starting point is 01:24:13 and pitch changes. He's talented. Big T's definitely got some weird talents. Some real southern shit. He's fucked to death. Yeah. Yeah. Told me about it. That's not rushing anything.
Starting point is 01:24:35 That should be way more accepted. Let's think about it. Let's not overstep our boundaries here. All right. Yeah, why force it? Let's take a minute. boundaries here. All right. Yeah, why force it? Let's take a minute. What do we have to prove? What do we got?
Starting point is 01:24:49 Huh. I wonder what the average amount of dead air a Yak episode has. Not a lot. Especially with a seven-person panel. Yeah. I'm trying to sit my ass down and listen. Yeah, I feel that big time. I feel that on the low.
Starting point is 01:25:05 On the low low. As you're filling up as much dead hair as possible. On the low, on the low low. Just repeating yourself. Yeah, I feel it on the low. Feel that? Have you seen the guys who freestyle at the border
Starting point is 01:25:17 in like Tijuana? Like the kids? Tijuana? One of them is nice with it. I've seen it at Washington Square Park I haven't seen it in Tijuana They freestyle at the border
Starting point is 01:25:28 They freestyle in Spanish and it's hot Por que? It sounds piping hot Are we boring you, Sass? Sorry, bro No, why? You just yawned Sass, how's your workout regimen?
Starting point is 01:25:44 It ended I got It's just like it's like you i do it i went for like four days in a row then i went to huntsville haven't gone since it's like a subsect of people who are like successfully shaming me and to stop going because your back hurts or what i got like a long text one night that was like like you waste your time, you work out every day, and it's the only equivalent of one inch in height. Damn. Why are people so fucking mean?
Starting point is 01:26:15 It hit my text. I was going to sleep for the night, put my phone down, and I got hate in the text message. What lanky ass person said that? Tyler Miller? Tyler Miller. It was like paragraphs. It was kind of like true. All of the progress you've made to your physique
Starting point is 01:26:29 only equates to one inch in height. Of what? I guess like on the attraction scale. I don't know. I think a fucking hate in the text. What a mean ass dude. I was so upset. Imagine if you got a phone call.
Starting point is 01:26:44 I've been so good about avoiding social media, especially before bed. And that kept me up so long. That's so mean. Who was it? Put them on blast. Put their tall. Call them. I'm done.
Starting point is 01:26:57 It was funny. Imagine just getting the FaceTime middle of the night. Hey, man, you don't know me. You've been wasting your time trying to better yourself. Do not listen to them. You look so good. Your attitude has improved so much. That's the main thing.
Starting point is 01:27:15 Your attitude has been awesome. Remember the ruts that you were going through? Yeah. You were going through the worst ruts. That's why I suggest it. It's not for your appearance. It's for your mental. Your appearance is also fantastic.
Starting point is 01:27:26 Your appearance affects your mental as well. We put out a compilation yesterday of KB's Metamorphosis. Oh, yeah. It was great. I watched the whole thing. I was just dialed in on the legs. It wasn't legs. Like a minute.
Starting point is 01:27:36 Yeah. I watched the whole goddamn thing. Who wrote Metamorphosis? Next. I'm so excited about television series I think you were saying that yesterday So good What are you on right now?
Starting point is 01:27:50 Mayor of Easttown Oh yeah still What a show COVID Yo I don't know How good are those accents? So good or so thick
Starting point is 01:27:58 Yo I really think they did a good job of them They did right? It's so funny whenever a very Philly person gets pissed off at me for doing an accent. A Philly accent. Like, that's not even what we sound like. What's the hardest accent to take seriously in a leadership role?
Starting point is 01:28:17 Not Southern. Not really. Southern is the hardest to take seriously. Distinguished about a Southern accent. Yeah, it's definitely not southern. Let's break down. What are the accents? I think a Cockney accent would sound really stupid.
Starting point is 01:28:33 Yeah. Like, all right, everyone, let's get the PowerPoints going. Is it people still talking? You push your jaw back so far. All right. I don't know. What other accent? There's a Boston accent, but that's not even a fucking real thing. You push your jaw back so far. All right. I don't know what other accent. There's like a Boston accent, but that's not even like a fucking real thing.
Starting point is 01:28:50 That's not too... You could take that seriously. So what Julia sounds like. Is South Jersey different than Philly, or is it kind of the same? It's different in a very small way, but I think that you could lump in South Jersey with South Philly with Northeast Philly. There's probably small things that are. Midwest is simple. A Midwestern accent I would have a hard time.
Starting point is 01:29:10 Then like the North Dakota and Minnesota bleed into Canada. What's a Midwest accent? I'm thinking of like Fargo. That's like a Canadian. Okay, let's go down. Taking that seriously is tough. Yeah, like when the police officers, when they find the dead body, they're like, oh, my God. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:29:26 Like, that's hard to take seriously. But it's a lot about the attitude that goes with the accent. Yeah. This cheery Midwestern-ness. Like, if my attorney, if I committed a crime, and my defense attorney was from North Dakota talking like that. Yeah. Yeah, that's just, like, so sad.
Starting point is 01:29:43 I'd be curious. New York. I can't do Pittsburgh either. I can't do any accents. People ask me to explain Pittsburgh, and I can't. It's very distinct. McAfee does a good job of that. Pittsburgh, West Virginia, down, down and out. I can't do it that good either.
Starting point is 01:30:06 Being able to spell the words in a phonetic way is the thing that helps me most with accents. Yeah. I had a book growing up called Slanguage, and it phonetically broke down all the... I like that. I like that too. Different accents. Is that how you can do it now?
Starting point is 01:30:19 No, but when I reference back, I can think of some just of the way that it was spelled out. In the West. West doesn't have... Yeah. Like, does the Pacific Northwest have an accent? Pop punk is like a California accent. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:30:39 That's also referential to like a British, like the British pop movement. Yeah. Tonight, right, like, all those words. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if the Pacific Northwest has one. It probably does. There are some women on TikTok that can do accents.
Starting point is 01:31:01 They'll just go through and like do a Yorkshire accent and a Wolverhampton accent. Yeah, the dudes who do different languages as well. I'm a sucker for a polyglot. Yeah, that one polyglot is amazing. He just got married. Congrats to him. Congrats to him.
Starting point is 01:31:19 I've got to get out of here in seven minutes. Should we spin this? Spin the wheel. But first, the last wheel. But first. The last ad. But first, the last ad. I've made a paper airplane of mine.
Starting point is 01:31:33 What the hell is in that thing? Che brought the worst food to eat during the yak. What is it, taffy? Yak. You brought that, Che? Yeah. You got it at the Ocean City Boardwalk? I had two white pieces.
Starting point is 01:31:46 That's my favorite flavor, taffy. Nice. White? What is that flavor? I don't know. Vanilla? Vanilla, probably. Mystery.
Starting point is 01:31:53 I don't have the third ad. Yeah, me neither. Do we have a third? We only have the High Noon. Oh, there's a Morgan & Morgan ad, it looks like. DJ, why don't you take it? Do you have the copy in there or no? I'll have it.
Starting point is 01:32:05 Give me a second. Yeah. My apologies. Smack that shit. Smack that shit. Smack that all on the floor. Being 16. Because when you're...
Starting point is 01:32:18 Work at Barstow when you're 30? Yikes. We're washed. Especially you, Sass. Sass made me feel like pure shit the day I met him. You were just like, if I'm getting paid this at
Starting point is 01:32:34 30, I'm going to kill myself. No, I don't think I said that. I don't think I said that. You said exactly that, and then you did it again, too. I think I said, if I... I don't know what I said. Oh, and then you did it again, too. I think I said if I... I don't know what I said. Oh, I remember. I was a young boy.
Starting point is 01:32:49 You've grown a lot. We were talking recently about the person that got struck by an automobile or some type of thing. We already know that Morgan & Morgan is America's largest injury firm. We don't need that person in the suit to get this lead. Morgan & Morgan has a proven track record of fighting for the people with over $15 billion recovered for their clients. Damn. We also know that submitting an injury claim with Morgan & Morgan is free and easy.
Starting point is 01:33:20 But did you know they are the official injury law firm partner of the UFC? I didn't know that. Is that true? I didn't know that. They're giving away one lucky winner, two grand, and two tickets to UFC 292. In Boston? To Steve Sterling versus O'Malley. Oh, my gosh.
Starting point is 01:33:39 Go battle in Boston. Wow. That's going to be a goaded freaking UFC event. Yeah. Entering to win is easy. it's just like submitting a claim go to morgan ufc.com slash yak y-a-k that's morgan ufc.com slash yak for your chance to win two thousand dollars and two tickets to UFC 292 in Boston. No purchase necessary. Open to legal residents of the 48 contingent U.S. states.
Starting point is 01:34:12 Contiguous. Contiguous. I am not familiar with that word. United States and D.C. who are 18 plus sweepstakes and 8-4-2023. For entry and official rules, visit MorganUufc.sweepp.com. Sweep P. P-A, yes. Sweep P.
Starting point is 01:34:34 Sweep P? Yes. I have a good feeling about Carbone today. That would be awesome. If Kyle gets wet today, we are seeing everything. Oh, yeah? Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:34:46 You wore that on purpose? We have to change all of our personal name wheels to just Carbone. Yeah, I'm craving all of their menu items. I'm excited to try their gluten-free options. Nikki. Maybe a nice face. Enough. Enough, Nikki.
Starting point is 01:35:04 Damn it. I felt like... I really feel good about that. No matter. Whatever, this show is going to have 100,000 views. You think? Can we put it in the title or something? Yeah, it gets 100,000 views.
Starting point is 01:35:23 Yeah, that's not a bad idea. We would self-fulfill. Prophecy. Something that hits sometimes on YouTube is like, if you called it like, doing this at 100,000 views or something like that. Can we just throw a parenthesis, gone sexual? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:35:40 I think sexual, isn't sexual a naughty word on YouTube? Gone S apostrophe actual. At 100,000 views, we get sexual. Maybe we should put NSFW. Yeah, yeah. Watch this yak alone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we need to do all that stuff.
Starting point is 01:36:03 If it doesn't, I'll be so disappointed. Actually, it'll be funny. I just want to be mega. Someone will watch it, just us discussing the subtle differences and dialects. Yeah, that's good. Hey, brother. Good to see you, man. Thanks for walking around.
Starting point is 01:36:17 What was the last... What was that? That wasn't the most nonchalant wave I've ever seen. It was like his fingers weighed 400 pounds. Barely pick him up. What was the last non-porn NSFW video you watched? A lot of shit on Reddit is NSFW.
Starting point is 01:36:32 That's not porn. Most stuff on Twitter should be NSFW because it's death and pain. It's called freedom of speech, bro. Yeah. Jesus fucking Christ. Learn a thing or two from Ellen. I'll watch an Egyptian get eaten by a shark if I want to.
Starting point is 01:36:48 At work. Or you could just go over to Instagram where it's censored. Yeah. That's what you're into. Have fun. Yeah. I'll be on X. Watching dudes fucking die.
Starting point is 01:37:03 Not by my choice. It's trending. My for you. Alright, I gotta skedaddle. Sign us off. Sign us the fuck off. This has been The Yak. If you've liked this,
Starting point is 01:37:17 subscribe to Son of a Boy Dad. And also Anus. Thanks, man. And also Anus. And also this show give us a thumbs up and let's get to 100,000 real quick
Starting point is 01:37:28 real fucking quick peace We'll be right back. you

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.