The Yak - This One's For Uruguay | The Yak 11-30-22
Episode Date: November 30, 2022Bears. Beets. Battlestar GalacticaYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoo...lyak
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Cut to Sass.
I don't want to do the intro.
Thanks.
What's up, everybody?
Hey, guys.
It's the Yak with Nick and Sass.
We're real happy you're here.
We hope to guide you through your drive or maybe through your late lunch at work.
We're honored to have you loyal listeners, especially on Spotify Rap Day.
Spotify Rap Day.
It's a big day.
It's a real clutter on the timeline.
Oh, yeah.
You get yours or are you an Apple Music boy?
I'm a Spotify guy.
I got mine.
You post it?
No.
No.
I'm embarrassed of some of the bands.
It shouldn't have been.
You gotta post it.
Dude, Owen sent us his.
Yeah.
He's the,
might be the most depressed man alive.
I know.
Cause like I don't,
it was new this year.
They would just give you a,
like a random jumble of three words.
Yeah.
I got pumpkin spice angst as mine.
I don't even know what mine were,
but Owen's,
I mean,
he needs,
his was like,
he's got to give up his shoelaces. was it i forget um owen got heartache escapism sorrow that's bad yeah that's not good that is really bad um i was
on the same train from boston uh as kyle but we were on different train cars, and he has a bad habit of not getting off.
He didn't get off on our Boston stop.
I got vulnerable cottagecore amped.
Yeah, that makes sense for you.
What is cottagecore?
Cottagecore is like big cozycore kind of guy.
Oh.
Yeah.
Very interesting.
There's a lot of cores nowadays.
There are.
Stemming from, what was the first core? Hard?
I'd assume so, yeah.
Soft? Well, that's
porn. Music-wise.
Is there soft core music?
Oh, yeah.
That's probably cottage core. It must be.
Metal core, and then of course crab core.
Of course. Attack, attack.
All kinds of cores.
But, yeah, I don't know.
Maybe I should call Kyle.
He's probably heading on down to D.C. right now.
Yeah, he probably is.
He would wake up.
That would be some shit he'd pull.
I was Boston.
It was really nice.
I really enjoyed it.
It was a whirlwind of a trip.
But the guys that were there and girl for the Dozen live show,
it was like right after a Kirk Minahan live show,
so a lot of Minna fans.
And they were rowdy.
Yeah?
Yeah, they were vocal.
They were rowdy.
But it was a good time.
Jeff D. Lowe just has it down to a science.
Yeah.
So what did Kirk do?
You guys were House of Blues, right?
We were at House of Blues.
So Kirk did a show and then...
Kirk did a show down the street at Cheeky Monkey.
Oh, I know Cheeky Monkey.
Now there was a sign on the door at Cheeky Monkey
that Chris Clemmer is not allowed on the premises.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
And I don't know if that was...
No, no.
Well, he wasn't in that bar.
There was the sign up.
That's for sure.
He definitely wasn't at Cheeky Monkey.
Yeah.
But he...
He's a little bit of a Cheeky Monkey himself. Cle monkey himself plumber yeah i don't think he has much cheek to him
skinny monkey the skinny monkey yeah um what else do we have going on what's up with you how was uh
i was holding down the fort yesterday uh like here yeah for the yak yeah it was fine it was
just me che kate and brandon is that a Yakagami? Yeah, I think so.
Is this a Yakagami? It's gotta be.
Yeah, probably.
I don't know. Where is everybody?
Rone's in some sort of tropical paradise.
Yeah, I was talking to him yesterday.
He said it's like there's nothing to do.
Oh, dude, I feel bad for him.
Except for just posting up.
He said it's really nice. He's just hanging out up at the beach.
Posting up is way better when you're in essentially the Garden of Eden.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He said it's a lot of repetition.
Yeah?
Yeah.
How long has he been there?
I think since Saturday, if I had to guess.
I'm not a long vacation guy.
No, neither am I.
I think vacation, max five days.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm ready to get home.
I'm a long weekend guy.
Me too.
Jay?
Yeah, same. I'm ready to get home I'm a long weekend guy Me too Jay Yeah same I don't like to be in some place for too long
That's not my home but
A week away or so is fine yeah like five days is a good
Do you guys have anyone coming up
I'm going to Mexico I think in March
No trips coming up
Outside of work
I'll be in the beautiful city of New Brunswick
This weekend Oh my god what's their cuisine in the beautiful city of new brunswick this weekend
oh my god they're what's their cuisine what's the cuisine of new brunswick what are the must
hits i don't know tj would know tj can you pull oh yeah he's not here oh shit oh my god
they have the are you hungry like the the grease trucks they're called it's just like a lot of like
leftover shit so like you know like garbage plate from like upstate yeah that's a rochester thing
like in a wrap i think okay i was just in rochester i got a garbage plate is it good
oh god no heavens no yeah that's the intent i think that's the point everyone was describing
it to me and i was like this sounds terrible yeah it's like everything they have in the
freezer lumped into styrofoam yeah and take a container what's up b b? B. Okay. Oh, B, he earned the B back. Oh, back on the B. No,
I didn't. No? What do you mean I earned the B back? I thought you took a swig. A swig?
I thought you took a swig to calm the nerves. You know what that leads to? What? Drowning
in liquor. You just take one swig. We're talking Spotify wrapped. What was your number one?
This is the only time of the year when I feel normal.
It's all just like Drake and Kygo and Taylor Swift.
What was your number one, Nick?
My number one was shocking to me.
It was a day to remember.
I thought it was going to be the story so far.
I don't know either of those people.
Are they still ripping music?
Yeah.
Yeah.
They are?
So far, not as much.
They have a lead singer as a side project.
Between those two
bands how many accusations or cases yeah that's a good question i don't think i don't think i think
they're flawless not flawless there's uh scott they're they're they're they had a member leave
a while ago but i think it was a drug issue um uh story so far maybe one maybe that's good usually
like uh the bands i listen to they will cycle through members because they, I don't know what it is about that genre of music.
They love teens.
I think it's probably just the people that listen to them or the girls that like them.
Yeah, it's the fan base and the fact that that's who's trying to fuck them.
Yeah, yeah, probably.
And it's like
just filled with angst and then you're a spotify guy excuse in my book about fucking teens uh
we're talking about we're talking about punk music pop punk music so yeah pretty much so uh
synonymous i am a spotify guy i don't have you pegged as a music guy really no not at all like
minute wise i bet you had low minutes. Tommy Walker ruined my Spotify this year.
What was it?
A lot of kids, Bob?
League of Legends or something.
Is listening to League of Legends like a soundtrack?
Yeah.
It's dedication.
I meant to take a picture of my number one artist because it's a little boy.
Oh, no.
It's troubling.
That's not great.
Billy Gilman? No, and I don't know how to pull it back. Oh, yeah. It's troubling. That's not great. Billy Gilman?
No, and I don't know how to pull it back.
Oh, yeah, okay.
I'll let you all know when it comes up.
But my songs are all video game themes.
I never listen.
There's a ton of people that listen to video game soundtracks.
I don't give a shit about.
I turn off the music when I'm playing a video game.
It's an Instagram story, Brandon.
Yeah, you can just tap it, Brandon.
Tap the right side.
Tap what right side? Tap what right side?
What other right side could there be?
Oh, I see.
That's interesting.
I used to, in college, I only had a CD player in my Mazda 6.
Yeah.
And it didn't have a tape player, so you couldn't put in the auxiliary thing there.
And I had a burnt CD that was just the sound
when you got on your bike in Pokemon.
Rise by League of Legends was my number one song.
Can we play it?
Probably not.
Probably not.
Definitely not.
League of Legends has bloodhounds.
Yeah.
He likes that game.
I guess.
I don't know.
Isn't that a really complicated game?
It's a MOBA, and it's dominated by other cultures.
Riding Dirty by NUZB?
What?
Riding Dirty by NUZB or something like that.
Oh, wow.
NUZB.
I don't know what that was.
The other one was like, riding dirty.
That's Chameleon Air. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it is. That's my number one artist. It's like riding dirty.
That's Chameleon Air.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it is.
That's my number one artist.
Oh, that is a tiny boy.
That's just a boy.
That's a hilarious boy.
Tiny gay boy. What's his name?
Go back.
Hit the left side for back.
Okay.
All right.
That makes sense.
I want to look him up on the screen.
I want to show.
What's his name?
His name is CGg5 cg5 will you post it will you
post it on twitter i'd rather not just no context yeah my top five artists are cg5 brad paisley
kanye west and mariah carey and outcast you're brad paisley guy huge brad paisley guy nice guy
he's from west virginia it's close from that weird part where you guys are from, right?
He's from Glendale.
He just collabed with Huey Mack on a banger.
Check that out.
I like Huey a lot.
Wait, I don't know if that's a boy or like an old man.
Might be my daughter listening to this stuff too.
I don't know what that is.
You know Young Nut?
That's what it looks like.
I don't know Young Nut.
Young Nut has some Twitter guy.
It's nice to get screenshots of people listening to the podcast,
and we've been lumped into a lot.
Son of a Boy Dad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But somebody sent one.
Son of a Boy Dad was number one.
Anus was their last place at three,
but we got beat out by brown noises to sleep to.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So next year we're fucking coming to that.
What the fuck is a brown noise?
It's like the same thing as white noise
Right but brown noise is like
Makes you shit
It's like a frequency
That will make you shit your pants
Really?
That's what it originally is
But I think
Some new shit
I actually
I actually usually listen to
Brown noise instead of white noise
Do you guys
Last night I was on the
Air conditioning sound though
Because I finally took my
AC out yesterday
Oh nice
And I was going to sleep
And it was like way too quiet.
So I had to throw in air conditioning sounds.
Wow. Yeah.
White noise
machine. A white noise machine would be cool.
Oh, we got TJ back.
Alright, so CG5 is a singer-songwriter
who creates original songs, remixes, and
covers based on video games.
Oh, that's odd. He doesn't play video games.
So that makes sense. Is he playing the new Warzone? zone no i haven't got that yet before well i it's free just
not the time he's watching so i bought a ps5 the other day i'm gonna give him two for christmas so
so he'll he'll have all that stuff soon nice i just started planning i hope like you're out to
dinner with the family and like a fan comes up he's like tommy you got a ps5 for christmas well
the the 10 year old found it already Well, he had to have been searching.
I walked into the house the other day, and he just says, Dad, you got to find better hiding places.
Where was the hiding spot?
Don't tell me closet.
It was a closet.
Jesus, Brandon.
Jesus.
It was my closet.
Yeah, that's the most obvious spot.
Yeah, that's the first place someone would look.
I have a room for my clothes, and I put it in there, and then my 10-year-old actually hid it better.
Speaking of video games, I couldn't sleep on the train,
and the dorks in the booth probably know about this,
but there was this Internet Flash game.
It was like an RPG.
It was called Kanye Quest 3030.
Do you guys remember that?
Yeah.
And it turns out it was like a big cult recruitment video game.
There was like a secret part of the video game where you could enter your address,
and somebody would come to you and try to recruit you to this ascensionist
cult what is an ascensionist cult they believe when you die you're reincarnated as a higher level
and like you work your way up as a higher power individual but it was this game that people were
playing downloading and playing that was just for cult recruitment brandon who would be the
say there were tiers who would be the next tier for you?
Yeah, that's a good question.
College football coach.
Yeah, no, college football, yeah.
No, it would be like probably Clay Travis.
Clay Travis is next tier for me?
You think that's the direct tier above Brandon?
What, you think more?
Makes a lot of sense.
I think one tier.
I think he's probably two or three tiers.
What type of margins of tiers
we're doing. He's in the Million Follow
Club, is he not? Yes. That's a tier.
You're a tier. What happens in an
ascensionist cult when you live your
life as the top
person and you die? Do you go
back to the bottom? I think you go on
to a different plane of existence. I wasn't
able to
quite finish reading about it because I put on my turtle and tried to
close my eyes a little bit.
You know,
that movie I was trashing last week.
No,
you're there in sun.
Oh yeah.
It's a vibe.
I'm into it now.
I had to watch it.
I back in.
I did.
Yeah.
I just,
I just skipped,
you just skip to any random scene and it's,
it's very vibey.
What happened to the,
the movies should be vibey. They, Oh, it's not a good film plot wise, but. Oh, so you just like to any random scene and it's very vibey. What happened to the... Movies shouldn't be vibey.
No, it's not a good film plot-wise, but...
Oh, so you just like to exist in it.
I like to just watch it, yeah.
We were talking about hiding.
I always want hide-and-seek.
Why?
But it was a loss because I was just in a Tupperware container for three hours.
You look like a guy that would go in a Tupperware,
like, yeah, the costume bin.
Stuffed in a box for an hour.
I hated hide-and-seek.
Come out and be like...
I loved it, but I was always really bad.
I was more anxious being the seeker
because I thought they would scare me.
I always thought everyone would just leave.
Nothing makes you feel more skillful
than being a dad who plays hide-and-seek with his young kids
because young kids fucking suck at hide and seek.
Yeah, but nine-year-olds are incredible.
Yeah, they get to a level where...
Six-year-olds suck, but you're nine,
you're good.
Yeah, I would say that. But you're nine,
I'm pretty sure me and my nine-year-old don't play hide and seek anymore.
But it's a dad shit code.
An adult hide and seek league would be
awesome. You should just come home tonight and be like,
let's play hide and seek.
I bet you they'd be down. Nine-year-olds still want would be awesome. You should just come home tonight and be like, let's play hide-and-seek. Yeah.
I bet you they'd be down.
Let's do that.
Nine-year-olds still want to play.
Their dads just don't ask.
Yeah.
Maybe it's a you problem, Brandon.
All right.
Well, I do have four.
I used to play hide-and-seek in my high school library with a few people.
Very, very fun.
If you ever play in a library.
How many hiding spots are there?
There's just different aisles.
Yeah.
Yeah, and tables and stuff like that and different nooksoks and crannies but it's uh can i ask you a question sure where
were you before you started playing the hide and seek were you like uh in front of the school in
the parking lot say let's go to the library and play hide and seek or were you just no you would
like if you had uh we had like off periods i don't know why the fuck they gave us off periods but
like if you had an off period like generally you go to the cafeteria the library but if you already ate breakfast or stuff like that
you just go to the library and just kind of sit and just call that study hall for us and maybe
just go to the gym and just sit sure and like do work or whatever but um yeah i mean get bored of
shit doing that so um i like to plan hide and seek because it was more like tag because like
you find people and you gotta like actually get them and you can't run and people are enforcing
the rules and you can't be super loud. So very fun. How old were you?
18.
Wow.
That's sick.
Did you guys ever have the high school wide game assassins?
Yes.
Yeah.
It got outlawed by the police.
Yeah.
Someone got in actually a, someone like ended up like suing someone else because they shot
someone.
Was it you guys use like water guns?
Yeah.
We use water guns.
Oh, what a game. Yeah. Yeah. Like he like broke into their house and the person got like hurt there was somebody
that was like hiding in the house's closet to get their kill and yeah yeah it's it's dangerous you
don't know what it is brandon no i never we did not have that everybody you and you and a partner
were assigned people that you had to kill with water guns around the whole city. Yeah, it was like multiple schools, sometimes multiple classes,
like hundreds of kids.
Oh, we just did seniors, I think.
Oh, we did like every high school in the area.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
And we were getting up at like five and going into their bushes.
Yeah.
Sounds very dangerous and stupid.
Yeah, but like in a small town.
You're in a small town.
Like it's, you know everybody. There's no town. You're in a small town. You know everybody.
There's no crime.
We don't lock our doors.
No.
Never. Never.
Walk in and out.
Brandon, you live in New Jersey.
I do. How far away are you from New Brunswick?
Oh, like an hour.
Oh, really? I live in North Jersey.
The northeast corner of Jersey. I was born there. Oh, really? I live in North Jersey. In the northeast corner of Jersey.
I was born there.
Oh, yeah.
I always forget that.
Oh, yeah, TJ.
Oh, yeah, TJ.
Yeah, I was born there.
What was the hospital?
Robert Wood Johnson?
No, keep going, keep going.
The other one?
Yeah.
Yep, yep, that's it, that's it.
It's amazing how it clicks when you hear the name.
TJ, is there fun stuff to do there?
Should I stay over or should I come home or what?
It's a college town, right?
So you're in the downtown part, Stress Factory?
Yeah.
There's a lot of nice restaurants and bars and stuff down there.
I'm probably going to...
After.
Yeah.
I think I'm going to go...
Well, I have one show tomorrow, so I think I'm going to come back for the Yak.
You should go to a college party.
Yeah, you should.
No.
He can't.
Not a frat.
Why?
He could.
I'm not fratted out, bro.
You don't have to be invited and listed.
There is no such thing as that.
This is Little Sasquatch.
Couldn't get into a party?
That would be funny if you couldn't.
You could bring 50 girls with you.
They're not going to let you in if you're not on a list.
We can get a little sass into one of these college parties.
I would let them in. I would bring no girls. What would happen're not going to let you in if you're not on a list. We can get a little sass into one of these cosplays. I would let them in.
I would bring no girls.
What would happen if you get punished if you let a bunch of girls and sass in?
It wouldn't happen.
You just would be turned away unless you're on a physical list.
Is that a rule?
Are there authoritative figures there?
Yeah, they have door people for us.
But there's kids, right?
It's just a pledge.
Sassy's getting in.
That would be awesome
if it was like,
hey, Sass.
If you're a Rutgers frat person
listening, put Sass on the list.
No, I don't want to go at all.
Yeah, put him on the list, actually.
I need you to go
just to get in
so you can prove that it's done.
No, but I don't like that.
That's actually
not something I would enjoy.
So you frat dudes
wouldn't let 50 girls
and Sass into your party?
50. Couldn't do it?
50 tens too
because you know
I'm only rolling with tens.
Right,
but the chances are
if they land
one of those girls
it used to be sasses
and there's no following up.
True.
Oh man.
God damn it.
You render the pussy useless.
Sass bangs all the tensansy hangs out with all
all 50 of them oh yeah checks them out yeah that's just that's just fucking ritual
it's like brushing your teeth
something i haven't been able to do today i uh left my bag in kb's room
oh shit really y'all came straight here came straight here yeah i need to go do today i uh left my bag in kb's room oh shit really y'all came straight here came
straight here yeah i need to go do that i uh i wasn't able we got there at uh
time did we get there yesterday noon 30 yeah and uh i wasn't able to check into my room until 11 30
p.m god damn that's the worst. Yeah. At least you and like
Kyle walked in. He got his room instantly.
They could tell that I wanted it.
I wasn't asking like can you
do this for me? I was like yeah I need this.
The tone of my voice.
I checked in before you.
You had a weak tone to your voice?
Oh yeah. He was like
do you think it'll be possible? Is there any
chance I could get?
I was inconveniencing the hotel by staying there.
I came in and I was like, I got a room now.
And I said it like I was in a rush to get there.
You got to go in and start banging your fists on the table.
I was like, no, no, it's okay.
I'll just sit in the lobby.
I did.
Just cozy up in one of these leather chairs.
Yeah.
These uncomfortable chairs. Yeah. These uncomfortable
chairs.
They spit on me and
they're like no you're
going to stand.
I'm sorry you're right.
I could be treated like
shit and I'll be crawling
back.
Oh yeah.
I'll thank you.
Especially at like a
hotel.
And then I'll just text
my boys in the group chat
be like I'm so fucking
pissed off dude I'm
about to flip.
Yeah.
Not at all.
No.
I don't think I'm able
to flip. About to lose my i don't think i'm able to flip
to lose my fucking shit by texting your friends that'd be the extent of me losing my shit yeah
i'm so pissed right now actually i was at a hotel when i was in providence and i stayed at the
hilton and i think i've told you guys about this but I got into my room and it and it reeked like from down the hallway I could smell it this like extremely small like smelly uh lemon odor
cleaning cleaning but like overwhelming like you could smell it from down the hall it wasn't
pleasant no not at all like I had a headache as soon as I went in and then I went downstairs and
I was like I don't know a headache from the went downstairs and I was like, I don't know.
A headache from the scent of citrus.
I was like, yeah, I don't know really how to go about this, but my room has this overwhelming lemon fragrance smell.
And they were like, yeah.
Her room is too clean.
She got injured by a fragrance.
Yeah.
She was wiping, as I said, she was wiping down the table with the front desk with a lemon scented pipe. Yeah, they probably just spilled
the bottle. Yeah, dude, it was bad. It smelled so strong.
I went, we were in, and they didn't give me a new room. We were staying in a Howard Johnson
motel in like, where were we? Like outside of Orlando? Really?
Just a sketchy hotel. There was like a, oh yeah, it was like an Ocala area.
Yeah, there was a guy like passed out in front of my door
and I walk into my room
and it just has this smell of like rotted fruit.
And so I go down to the front desk.
I'm like,
my room smells like,
like fucking like a fruit is like rotted in there.
And the person came up,
they're like,
I'll see.
They got like their like Lysol
and he looks on the bed,
he's like,
oh,
rotten fruit. And there was just like a bag of like a bunch of rotten fruit yeah look it but the smell lingered oh my yeah i had a banana in my college backpack for like three months and it
smelled terrible i had no idea why no that i mean it was a rotten i had an easter egg in my in my baseball bat bag for two weeks
one summer and it was bad i i had uh we and when i was in college all of a sudden our dorm started
smelling like really bad like a dead animal or something and then i realized that i had a
like something from the from the dining hall i had like a broccoli and like a to go oh yeah
and it fucking stunk i went on a date with this girl in high school.
And her grandparents, like she was like living with her grandparents.
And they were beet farmers.
And they gave me these beets.
And I was using my dad's car because I was trying to impress the girl.
And I just left the beets in the car.
And it like rolled under the seat.
I never knew anything about it.
I forgot about them.
And then my dad was going crazy trying to find this smell.
Just rotted beets.
That's it. There actually are beet farmers yeah and i knew there was but they had like a big garden in the back i should say and they just grew beets though worst food beats yeah i don't
love worst food i don't know how you get worse than beets and don't don't don't say oh i love
beets no you don't you might like them
you might tolerate them
you don't love them
I flipped the fuck out
on my mom
because she said
her favorite food
was salad
this was like
and I was like
no it's not
get off your fucking pedestal
like okay
you can like salad
but it's nobody's
favorite food
now
it would have to be
a specific salad
and you like the ingredients
that come with the
lettuce right and she said no it's my favorite food and i stormed out i like beets very much
like a beet salad is very good and that's almost an auto order if i see it would you
rather have a beet or a slice of pizza i'm out beet salad is an auto order for you
if it's a beet salad is an auto order.
If it's at a very good restaurant.
Beet salad, done.
Auto order.
Auto order.
If it's at a very nice restaurant
and they do it right.
Making beets yourself
is an absolute nightmare
and I will never do it.
So you're out to dinner
with your wife for anniversary.
You're obviously going to go to...
That'll be like an appetizer.
That won't be the main.
You're going to a nice restaurant,
obviously.
Yes.
Beet salads on the menu, done.
If that's the appetizer, like small salad, yeah, absolutely.
I'd rather get a splinter in my thumb than eat a beet salad, I think.
Yeah, it's very good.
Satisfaction of plucking it out would beat any taste that a beet could produce.
Yeah.
Satisfaction of plucking a splinter out is up there.
Oh, sometimes I look forward to like those big, grown beard hairs.
Because they come out so easy.
They're thick, and then it just hurts
but then when it comes out, it's just the relief.
I would touch my entire deck and make a day out
of pulling that splinter.
You couldn't keep your hands off your deck
as a kid, dude. I got super
into the other night. I couldn't sleep and I got really into
R slash popping
I believe. Oh, yeah. I can't do
popping. No, but it's not just popping.
It's popping. It's pulling. It's tweezers. No, but it's not just popping. It's popping.
It's pulling.
It's tweezers.
Slow-mo of an ingrown hair will be okay.
The ingrown, I saw one when the guy pulled out like a, it had to have been like a full head of hair under his skin.
I don't want hair.
Relief of that has to be incredible.
I like the blackheads getting removed on the nose.
Yeah, with the tool.
I drool like a.
I saw a splinter one, and the guy had like a tiny little splinter in his foot, and he's videotaping it, and he pulls it out like a little piece, andol. I saw a splinter one and the guy had a tiny little splinter
in his foot and he's videotaping it
and he pulls it out like a little piece and then there's
another piece and he has to pull it out and it's like this
big and he's like, whoa!
He had like no
idea it was that big. It was like
two inches of just
wood in his foot.
I would rather it be done to me
like being popped than seeing a pop.
I don't
ever get any pops.
I don't really have much to pop.
Maybe one day, kid.
An auto order.
A beet salad is an auto order.
That's lettuce and beet.
I think it's not even lettuce.
I don't know what's an auto order for me. Maybe tater tots?
I don't have anything I don't think that's an auto order
At a Chinese restaurant
I'm a guy that
If I find a cuisine
Of a country
Like Chinese
I'll get the same thing at every restaurant
You find one dish and that's your experience with that cuisine
I think that's me at most restaurants
I find one dish I get the same thing
Every time I go to that restaurant I never get anything but general so i don't really
go i don't i don't think i've like gone out to a restaurant in new york and then like gone back
many times oh i do i like never go back i go to like a bar multiple times but i never like go i
don't really go out to dinner on the johns i have a routine i have a routine i go to fish market
twice a week yeah fish market's cool. Yeah, Fish Market's cool.
Have you taken everybody to Fish Market?
I try to.
I have a good relationship with the workers there now.
They're great guys, and I'm finally to the point.
I never knew this happened.
I walk into the bar, and they slide a Bud Light down the bar.
Oh, really?
Yeah. That's awesome.
Yeah, I love that.
Yeah, I didn't know you could ever get that.
That's like a step below getting a menu item named after you.
Yeah, having them know what you want when you come in is so, it rules.
My dad had a menu, not a menu item.
It was actually a rung below.
Later Gator?
Yeah.
Yeah, the crepe.
We never even talked about this, but I remember seeing it one day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My dad ordered this crepe at this restaurant called Later Gator.
Almost got it.
But he would modify it, and so they added on the menu Will's Way to the crepe.
So he didn't have his own menu item, but it's framed in his downstairs bathroom, the menu.
Is that restaurant still there?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I get the moon over my hammy.
Okay.
Yeah.
They have a crepe called the Deja Vu, but it's on the menu twice, and it freaks you out.
The best moment of my life is when I got center wheeling
where Later Gator is
on GeoGuessr world map.
No way.
You got your home town?
Directly in center wheeling.
Holy shit.
But then,
what can I do with this?
Nothing.
Did you hesitate at all
or were you like,
there's no way?
No, I knew it was happening but it took my breath away. can i do with this nothing did you hesitate at all were you like there's no way oh no i knew i
knew there i knew it was happening but it was took my breath away damn there is a restaurant in uh
in pennsylvania somewhere close to my wife uh family and they have the salad is called the
bloody beet pan drippings yogurt which is like a white, and then pistachio praline. Oh, that probably just looks like a fucking placenta on the plate.
Why are you pushing beet on us so hard?
Because you guys are pushing back against beets and saying it sucks.
Beets are really good.
We didn't know we didn't.
We said no one loves it, and then you said I love beets.
The craziest thing you said was it's an auto order.
That one absolutely is an auto order.
It's not on that many places.
It's not like that.
Can you describe that one more time?
Yeah, that sounded foul. It's not on that many places. It's not like... Can you describe that one more time? Yeah, that sounded foul.
It's called the Bloody Beet
Pan Drippings. Why would you want bloody in the
name of the food you're about to eat?
It's kind of runny. It's because
of the pan drippings.
What's the pan from?
They cut up the beets and they put it...
They cook them. So it's beet juice.
Essentially. Pan Drippings,
yogurt, pistachio, praline.
Very, very good. What's that?
What did you say?
I said it's beet juice and Brandon said don't say that
three times.
That was really clever.
That was really good.
Beets are probably the
best fictional band.
Other, Mount Rushmore.
Killer Tofu.
Killer Tofu, I Need More Allowance, parentheses, Yodelle.
Wow.
Doug?
No, he's too old.
Too old.
Too old for Doug?
Too old for Doug, yeah.
My Nickelodeon was You Can't Do That on Television and the first iteration of Double Dare.
Nickelodeon was more game show based.
Well, no.
It had cartoons, but it only showed cartoons
that showed Looney Tunes.
It showed cartoons from back in the day.
Okay, no originals.
It didn't have any originals until the early 90s.
Am I making this up or did Mark Summers recently die?
I think you're making that up
because I would have known Mark Summers died.
Brandon would have tweeted
and Mincy would have made it
about him.
I love the Summers down in Mississippi.
They were hot.
Somebody needs to check that.
Mincy should trend every time somebody dies.
What was the best?
Bill Russell.
He was from his hometown, I think.
The worst is when someone dies and people tweet out and they're like,
never been a fan at all, but really sad about what happened.
That's not even worse when somebody dies.
Just when somebody agrees with you on Twitter and says,
I hate this guy, but, or I've never been a fan of this guy, but.
You don't have to say that part.
Rare Brandon Walker W.
Yes.
I saw one of those.
You got one of those recently.
Yeah.
I think they said ultra rare.
They did say.
Oh, you saw it too?
Yeah, we got the same album.
They did say ultra rare, which is.
Ultra rare.
Well, yeah.
Was the thumbs up he's dead or the thumbs up he's alive?
He's alive.
Guess how old he is, though.
I'm going to say he's 71.
I'm going to go 71.
I think he was born in 51.
Yeah, I'm thinking early 70s.
I'm trying to think.
Yeah, 71.
Mark is alive and kicking.
I don't like that kicking shows how alive you are.
Dead or kicking.com.
Oh, it's dead or kicking.
Oh, wow. Good website. It's got to be tough to get thrown on's deaderkicking.com. Oh, it's deaderkicking. Oh, wow.
Good website.
It's got to be tough
to get thrown on that website.
Yeah.
Dead.
What happened to that guy?
He's kicking.
He's still kicking.
We should get one of us on there.
Yeah?
Yeah.
If you had a death rumor
floating around,
would you wait a couple minutes
before you're like,
I'm good?
100%, yeah.
You've got to see
which way the wind blows.
Yeah.
See how they react.
I think if it's real.
What if it's positive, you just don't ever come back?
Yeah, it's just like it's a bunch of good riddances.
If they're posting the crab video.
Dancing crab, I was just going to say.
Walker's dead.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're dead.
You find a new career.
You just go ahead and kill yourself?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
What is it, Brandon Walker's dead party or Brett?
I'm just statistically using you.
R.I.P. Bozo trending.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Do you guys have any auto orders?
I don't think I have a single auto order.
My only auto order is when I go to a place and I'm getting a burger or I'm getting something that requires fries.
I do check.
If they have tater tots, I auto order the tater tots before the fries.
That's my only auto.
I have an auto purchase whenever I go to an old-timey candy store if they have flying saucers.
They kind of taste like styrofoam.
They have those little beads on the inside.
That sounds good.
Yeah. It's phenomenal. I love the inside. That sounds good. Yeah.
It's phenomenal.
I love the...
I'm a mouthfeel guy.
I always buy two Andes mints after my cracker.
Andes candies.
Yeah.
No, they're Andes, not Andes.
Andes candies.
No, they're Andes.
Like the mountains.
Correct.
Andes candies.
I'll say I think an auto purchase for me
is every time I go to Whole Foods,
I end up getting lost in the vitamin section and just buying something that I don't need at all and being
like, this is going to make me really healthy.
My ginkgo came in today.
I'm going to be sharp as a tack.
Yeah, yeah.
I almost bought that alpha brain shit yesterday at Whole Foods, but it was $90.
And it's got to work.
For one bottle.
And it has to work.
I don't know.
I doubt it.
What if it does?
It might.
Yeah, I might as well try it.
It was $90.
I was shocked.
I've spent more for less.
Yeah.
I accidentally won a bid when I was in a Dave & Buster's in Anchorage,
and it was while Kyle was swimming
and maybe in the most beautiful
untouched glacial pool of all time.
I think yeah only 11 people ever
have swam in that.
Yeah the helicopter could only fit two.
So I went to Dave and Buster's
and
I signed up for an auction
for the
it was like
it was a Pokemon thing
that I didn't really want
and I won
and they emailed me.
And so I haven't gotten it yet, but that was a bummer of an email.
How much did it cost you?
It was like $450.
You want to buy something stupid real quick?
Holy shit.
Buy something stupid.
I don't have $450 on Pokemon card money.
Yeah, that's a lot of money.
I don't have rent money.
Did you see that linebacker, Blake Martinez?
Yeah.
Who retired off of a Pokemon sale?
Yeah, he sold it for like $640,000 maybe?
$640,000?
Yeah.
But his contract was, he must have just not liked football.
I think he just got caught by the Giants and he was like. He was on the Raiders.
Yeah, so he was kind of hanging on.
But league minimum is probably...
Veteran minimum is probably like 600-something.
Yeah.
That's nuts.
Dude, when I was in Rochester, they have this sports card store.
Oh, cool.
I went in and I was talking to the guy and he was saying it it's like not busy at all but they're like thriving
because all they need is like four regulars.
Yeah.
To come in and buy like a $25,000 box.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think that's a form of gambling.
Yeah, 100%.
Can you write that off?
I don't know.
You write off like Pokemon card losses?
Writing off things is something
that I always nod my head to.
I never understood it either.
I was hoping you would.
I don't really know exactly how you go about doing it or why you go about doing it.
I should be doing it more.
I don't understand it.
I know for stand-up, people write off everything.
You write off a bad joke you told?
Probably.
You can write off clothes and say it's a costume that you need to dress.
We can write off the internet at our house.
Like, if you write your jokes in a room of your house, you could write it off as an office.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You could write off, like, all your Ubers, all your transportation.
That always feels so, like, slimy, but everybody's doing it.
Yeah.
And you're only screwing over the man.
Yeah.
Who gives a fuck the man?
Forging signatures
has to be pretty easy.
So easy.
Has to be so easy.
So easy.
My signature is just a scribble.
The only people who get caught
are the ones who get greedy
and just keep doing it.
Yeah.
But like,
now there's like so many ways
to authenticate,
but even that,
like the graded cards you buy now
have a QR code
and you can learn about
like that card
everywhere it's been.
It's pretty cool.
Yeah, yeah.
Back to your thing, Sass.
You went to a card store.
If it's a specialty store for something, I'm so much more inclined to buy it than seeing it on the shelf of a big box store or something.
Yes.
Even if it's the same item.
Yeah.
I would never buy anything from that store, though.
Why?
Everything was over $1,000. Really? Yeah. I would never buy anything from that store though. Why? Everything was like over $1,000.
Really?
Yeah.
And half the shit wasn't even for sale.
It was just in these glass cases.
And I'm not patient enough for an investment like that to pay off.
Mooks said his older brother does that full time.
Yeah, his older brother does that, like, full time. Yeah, his older brother's like a shit ton of money. His older brother has, like, a boxing card that was, like, printed in 19-fucking-22 or something.
I tweeted this out last night, but it really happened.
I was laying down to go to bed, and Tommy just appears above the couch where I'm laying.
And he said, I want to talk to you about investing.
Oh, hell yes.
And then I said, I actually had, TJ, just to prove it was real, I took a video of him talking about investing.
He thinks Bitcoin, probably.
Yeah, okay.
But he doesn't really, Jason, I don't give a fuck what you think about my investing.
You don't have to shake your head.
He did shake his head.
You shook your head vigorously.
Obviously, Bitcoin's not a great investment.
He's 12 years old, Jason.
All right, if I want to buy him one one-thousandth
of a Bitcoin, I'll buy
him one one-thousandth
of a Bitcoin.
Yeah, it'd be a treat.
It'd be a treat.
Are you going to buy
him a full one?
You should do a video.
I had a Bitcoin until
last year.
I got it out of FTX
just in time.
You should do a video
Christmas morning of
Tommy just like opening
up an empty envelope
and just be like,
I got you half a Bitcoin.
Invested for you.
Invested for you, Tommy.
Invested your money.
Yes.
He would understand that like a full Bitcoin is like.
I don't know.
Where's the other half?
And then he said, maybe just some stocks or something.
I don't know.
And so I got to figure out how we're going to invest Tommy's money
or how he's going to get Tommy's money.
Although Stephen Chait did tell me to put Tommy Walker on Cameo,
and it's probably a pretty good idea.
That's a really, really good idea.
Yeah.
And you could pocket all the money.
I don't even have to advertise it.
Just say on the Yak, like, a couple days, Tommy's on Cameo.
Should be able to.
Earn a good amount of cash.
Yeah.
College fund.
Well, my dad's going to college.
Yeah.
Me and I, I wanted to collect sports cards as a kid,
but my dad, we would go to sports card shops and hobby shops everywhere.
But he only let me, we would each search for one player.
And so I would just collect one of a player.
My dad was a Ken Griffey Jr. guy and I did Vince Carter.
I have a bunch of Vince Carter cards.
Good picks, yeah.
My generation ruined cards.
It came back. it came back it came so you're like the autograph seekers the
adults who sent they get the whatever signed how could you ever often authenticate that i guess you
have the video of it happening i what i don't actually uh you but when you sell when they sell
these on ebay or wherever like what is the proof that it's real? Yeah.
No, you're right.
And eBay has now like a verification system, but I don't know how that works.
Why would you want to buy an autograph that you didn't personally get?
Getting the autograph is the thrill.
I don't want something somebody signed.
I would rather have a photo with the person than an autograph.
The authentication works that if it's sold through like an auction site so it goes to the proper like
oh this site got this from the team or whatever the player they then make a certificate being
like this was real some people sign it uh and then if you get it there are other ways to like
if you get a jersey or whatever after a game you can have like the photo with them and that works
and there's a lot of things that people do with like game war and stuff with a like photo match like oh you have this guy had
like a tear in this part of his jersey and they can get these images i don't actually know how
this works but i am on the tangential outside of one of these communities i started doing middleman
authentication recently too where like sneakers especially you send it to ebay they make sure
they're real they put a tag on it then they send it to eBay. They make sure they're real.
They put a tag on it.
Then they send it to the person that bought it.
Have y'all seen Stephen Chay's signature?
I'd imagine it's huge.
Oh, it's troubling.
What is it?
It's not good.
There's a whole thing going on right now with Bob Dylan with some, like,
he, like, how old is he?
79, 81. He's, like, he came out with How old is he? 79? 81?
84?
He came out with a new book.
Oh, that's not it.
That is not it.
No, that's my new one.
Oh, it's your new one?
Yeah. You can see his old one on the back.
So I shamed you out of your old one.
Yes.
You and Nick and a few other people.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's bad.
And so now I'm being shamed for this one.
This one's a lot better.
No, it's not. That's pricked. It's better for this one. This one's a lot better. You were one of the first people to say that.
It's better than what he had.
I shifted mine.
I used to do Nick Terani, and now I just do Nicky.
I've only ever had to sign things at the...
I've only had to sign things ever at the dozen.
That's where I...
I changed it yesterday.
Yeah.
I signed a girl's cup.
Yeah, and mine just says Lil Lil Sass. Protective cup.
Diva cup.
Yours says Lil Sass?
Yeah.
That's pretty good.
That's your name.
That's my, yeah.
You just have to write KB.
Do your agents ever want you to change your name, Sass?
No.
No?
I want to.
Oh.
But I'm not going to. Ever ever you got bullied out of using your actual
name you just dropped the quatch i think little sass is cool yeah yeah yeah that's what i got
that's what i say now uh i don't know though little sass sass like sass dropped a little too
the idea of like being sassy is kind of like... Gay? Cunty.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, okay.
Lil' sassy.
Ah, man.
It's tough. I like quach.
Just go by quach.
That sounds like a pussy.
Yeah, that sounds like an actual...
That's what you call it.
It's like a cooter.
Yeah.
No, I gotta drop it.
Tight as fucking quach.
Y'all spin that fucking wheel yet? Oh, not yet. Y'all row that fucking wheel yet oh not yet oh yeah hell we can talk about rowback
you're talking about the company with the best quarter zips and polos and hoodies in the world
and they got the new joggers too the best way to describe rowback is the best fit the best feel
we can't stop wearing rowback and when it comes to quality these guys just do not miss they have the best performance polos hoodies and quarter
zips and you can rock rowback head to toe uh they've got the joggers here they are functional
versatile and comfortable these joggers check off every box there are a lot of joggers out there but
these might just be the very very best i have i think several people in here have them they are
very very comfortable and they look good as well.
Perfect for a nice fall day or a football Sunday.
You'll never want to take these off.
We've been rocking them everywhere, so trust us.
Use the code YAK on Roback.com for a generous 20% off your first purchase through the end of the week.
That's R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.
That's 20% off all polos, quarter zips, and hoodies with code YAK.
Roback joggers are here.
It's time to hop on board, TJ.
I'm wearing them right now.
Ten more seconds.
For ten more seconds, I've got to tell you how great Rowback is.
Yeah.
They have the joggers, the polos, the quarter zips,
and they're so comfortable and wonderful.
And Stephen Chay is wearing them right now,
and he's making me look at his dick.
Yeah, he is.
They look great in the Rowbacks.
They really do.
It really does.
There we go.
That's Rowback. See you, Sass. Peace look great in the Robacks. They really do. It really does. There we go. That's Roback.
See you, Sass.
Anyone try my turtle?
It's my travel pillow.
What a thing.
Everybody needs to purchase this.
Because everyone knows the neck pillows don't work.
Neck pillows don't work.
Neck pillows don't work.
This is the turtle.
No vowels.
T-R-T-L.
This is the one.
Put it here.
It's like a kickstand for your neck.
And then you wrap this around and Velcro it.
It's a delight. Oh. Oh, yeah. Try it. Yeah, it works. And then you wrap this around and Velcro it. It's a delight.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
Try it.
Yeah, it works.
You want me to put it on you?
Yeah.
It's like a cowboy collar.
All right.
Kickstand.
Wrap it.
All right.
Oh. Yeah.
Yeah, you just got to lean.
It's the best.
Oh, yeah.
See?
Pretty comfy, isn't it?
No.
I feel like it's being jammed into my side.
Well, adjust it then.
I couldn't.
You put it on your... I put it on myself like an adult.
Nick, did you invent this?
No.
Oh, you know what, Nick?
It's great.
That's better.
Yeah, it's really nice. Okay. That is the neck pillow you invent this? No. Oh, you know what, Nick? It's great. That's better. Yeah, it's really nice.
Okay.
That is the neck pillow you get.
All right.
Once you had it too low, you pull the jaw, and when I pull it up, now I'm just resting and reclining.
Yeah.
But is it worth the tradeoff of looking like this?
No.
So I usually only do it when I'm not sharing a seat or an overnight train.
Did you do it yesterday?
Is that something you actually consciously think about, how I look to the person sitting?
Yeah, I want to be as hot as possible on public transit.
You never know.
I do this thing where I take my stopwatch out in time when people get up on the train or the plane.
Well, on the train. They plane they stand on the train they
stand up yeah and start getting their stuff out today we were we were in queens not long island
city like the middle of queens people started doing it standing up waiting with their with
their luggage to get off 12 minutes 12 minutes then it was 50 of the car 12 minutes standing up
it was like a domino effect.
I understand on planes when people do it because it feels like...
I don't.
On trains, though.
No, I don't get it.
Planes at all.
Your brain is broken.
Trains have multiple exits.
Sit down until...
Why would you rather stand than sit?
The traffic flows out so fast on a train.
Why do you need to be first?
No, you're right.
But plane, you're not getting out before you're up.
No, I don't really understand on a plane, but it makes more sense on a plane than a train to me.
Because there are multiple exits.
It's so easy to get out of a train.
You don't have to be first.
On the way up to Boston, there was a group of French people, and they didn't sit.
They would sit when somebody walked by, but they stood like 90% of the way.
That shit pisses me off so much for some reason.
Yeah. They're just standing in the aisle all the time on the Amtrak? Yeah. It's insane. buy but they stood like 90 of the way that shit pisses me off so much for some reason yeah they're
just standing in the aisle yeah i'm on the amtrak yeah it's insane it's insane i know i think i think
i want to try to forge an autograph and sell it yeah we could start small maybe we're gonna forge
like ruben drones on a yardstick try to sell it for three dollars and then go up from there i don't
but somebody I want something
somebody would actually
buy and not just buy it because it's on the yak.
Yeah. So we need to
pick somebody out and then put it on eBay.
And drones is a step too low.
Ron Dane on a McDonald's cup.
Not bad. That isn't bad.
Not bad at all. But who wants a McDonald's cup?
But it's the point of just the autograph.
I don't know.
I think what it's on has to be pertinent to the person i don't know like yeah what's the weirdest autograph you got
uh i have shaquille o'neal on a five dollar bill that's not weird but i have the five dollar bill
the kid from uh i think that's pretty common jerry mcguuire. Jonathan Lipnicki?
Yeah, but he was like 11.
He was at the Ohio Tournament of Champions.
What do you have in him?
Just a sheet of paper?
It was a weird tournament because the trophy I got was a football helmet
for the wrestling tournament, and then I have Jonathan Lipnicki's autograph.
Yeah, Bill Dances.
That might be weird.
Bill Dancing?
Bill Dance.
I don't know him.
He's a professional bass fisherman.
My favorite fisherman
is Skeet Reese. I've been following.
I chose a fisherman to follow.
It's been fun. This is a comparative Bill Dance or
Hank Parker.
That's agree to disagree.
You're fucking kidding me with the Skeet Reese bullshit.
I have Omar
Vizquel on a box of Skittles.
Why did you get a box of Skittles?
It had to have been in a movie theater.
That's more interesting.
I went to a travel camp in middle school,
so we went to amusement parks and stuff.
We went to Six Flags America, which is in Maryland,
on day one of our trip, and an Orioles game on day two,
and he was visiting the Orioles,
and that's all I had left to get autographed.
If you told me that you recognized Omar Vizquel in Six Flags,
that would have been something.
I didn't recognize him on the field.
I just saw any player and was like,
you want to sign this box of Skittles?
Huh.
And they were like, I guess.
Yeah, I guess it's almost cooler to have it on something that's not as –
I'm doing a 180.
Yeah.
I'm just now obsessed with Ruben Drones, the fact that he brought it up,
and I'm just thinking about the career. Ruben Drones, I think he
had over 1,000 yards rushing for
the Cleveland Browns on only
two or three touchdowns, which is
insane.
It's like the opposite
of LeGarrette Blount.
Why do you... Okay.
Why is that... Why?
Why do you know that?
I don't know if that's right.
Yeah, you do.
I do know it's right.
Let me pull up his fucking wiki.
Dude, when I say a random fact
like that on my own accord,
like I initiate it,
it's because I...
You Googled it extensively on the train.
I don't know how you keep getting away with it.
I was waiting for like three weeks for someone to bring up
Ruben Drones organically.
You brought up Ruben Drones. I know, it doesn't work
the same when I bring it up. I was waiting for someone to
bring up Ruben Drones for like a month. I'm the same
way. There was a rundown
when
Joe Judge was fired, or maybe he did something
dumb a year or
year and a half ago, and so I intentionally
made coffee beforehand and kind of put it in front of
Brandon's face during the rundown.
So you would call me out for drinking coffee so late in the day.
So I could say, who are you to Joe judge?
I did the same thing.
We both do this.
Yes.
I have so many combinations of things that I'm waiting for someone to,
I am the least quick witted human baby on earth.
I just have a lot of things just in the chamber.
Yeah, dude.
What a cheat code.
Yeah.
In 2005, rushed for 1,232 yards and two touchdowns.
Wow.
That was a close guess, man.
Brain on this guy.
You have the weirdest brain.
Wow.
I would love to see your notes on your phone.
Stuff like that.
I would sit in the next room and I would watch you Google things every five seconds.
I was really bad when it first started.
But when it was on Sirius, I could get away with it.
You could do it while the show was happening.
People thought I had the quickest brain.
Google whatever we were talking about.
Oh, fuck.
What a peel back of the curtains, dude.
I think Wikipedia is the best website.
Did you donate this year?
I did.
Nice.
I used to just scoff at it.
I was like, fuck these Wikipedia.
What do I have to donate?
And I was like, yeah, this is the best website in the world.
One of my favorite internet turns of all time.
I think it is.
It is a lot more handy than you want it to be.
I get lost in Wikipedias.
There was this girl who was trying to go viral on Twitter for clowning a guy that edited the most Wikipedia pages of the year.
And everybody's turned on it.
They're like, fuck you.
This guy's a hero.
He is a hero.
He deserves a medal.
Whoever's doing that, yeah, they deserve millions of dollars.
How many?
The guy who edited the most. Can we pull that up, TJ?
It was an absurd number.
A million? No.
10,000?
Probably higher.
Jesus.
And he's just doing that for fun?
Yeah.
Wikipedia is like fully...
Steven Pruitt.
Five? Oh my godruitt. Five...
Oh my God, Brandon, I owe you an apology.
Five million edits made.
One edit to one third of all English Wikipedia articles.
He has his own Wikipedia page.
I'm happy that he has his own Wikipedia page.
He deserves that.
And that probably made his day.
He's one of the top 25 most important influencers on the internet.
Yes.
He's created more than 33,000 articles himself.
Yes, I agree.
That's nuts.
And he does that all for free?
He should have a statue.
Where's he from?
He edits under the pseudonym Sir Amantio de Nicolau.
Yeah, this guy's awesome.
Somebody tried to make fun of him.
They were like, get a life.
Hell no.
No.
No.
He would be an interesting podcast guest.
This is like going Jeopardy and winning a lot of money or something.
I want to talk to him now.
You must be so smart.
I'm trying to think what we could do with the future of Wikipedia.
It doesn't really have video.
I want to know more miscellaneous.
I think it's kind of fun without what...
I like the...
Yeah, it would ruin what it is.
The personal life, I want that to be deeper.
I always skip to death what oh i thought
okay uh no i i look to see if there's a controversies tab like you guys probably know
that larry king was married a bunch of times yeah when you stumble upon it organically and i was like
eight times yeah imagine being the the seventh yeah or the eight or or the 8th but if 8th is the one that gets the money
yeah it's true
it's like putting your hands on a baseball bat
oh my god it is
she's the top one
it's Larry King's cock
someone tried to post him on a cringe page
he was on an interview
and he took a call from his son
and just ignored the interviewer
just to talk about his baseball game
and it was the coolest
thing ever. He's like so old
he doesn't even, he's dead now.
You've been into Grinch lately. Has he died?
Who? Harry King? Harry King's dead.
He died like this year I think. Last year I think.
He was old
but not as old as I thought.
It was too soon. He was old for a long time. He was old forever. He was professionally old. He was like, but not as old as I thought. Yeah, that's not true. It was too soon.
He was old for a long time.
He was old forever.
He was professionally old.
He was like Ian McKellen.
Is Larry King the one that had Seinfeld on and said the show got canceled?
Yeah.
And then Seinfeld freaked out.
Seinfeld freaked out.
Seinfeld just kind of...
Larry, was he having some iffy allegations?
No, I don't think so.
He was farting on interns.
Okay.
That's funny.
That's his era.
That ain't no iffy.
He said he would like, interns said he would drop a pen and be like, yo, can you pick this
up?
And they would bend over, he would fart on them.
Yeah, all right.
Did they say it was complimentary?
No, they said it was stinky.
Yeah, of course it was.
He was on a ton of HGH.
No, he was a firm, firm believer.
He was like daily HGH.
Larry King?
Yeah.
What?
Yeah.
Why?
I don't know.
Look at that.
Did you guys watch the Liver King video?
I didn't.
I read articles synopsizing.
I watched the full hour.
And?
What's the conclusion?
Roids. Yeah.
It was pretty funny, though.
Despite all the steroid
stuff, he basically was
trying to get this guy to train him
and make him
just chiseled as fuck.
Enough is enough.
Yeah, but this was before he launched all of his
shit. He was already jacked, though.
And, like, the questions, the guy sends him, like, a thousand questions, and he has to fill out all the answers.
And, like, a lot of his answers are very funny.
He's, like, a funny dude.
Liverking is?
Yeah.
Has he released a statement?
Oh, yeah.
Has he been silent?
I don't think so.
I didn't look.
You just gotta own it.
I would just be like, yeah, no shit.
I was playing... he's gonna go
with i was playing a character that's all you have to do but people's pride gets the best of them and
then they end up looking like a fool apparently like i didn't know he was making so much money
oh yeah he's made he said he made a hundred million dollars in a year oh i didn't know that
yeah and that was like earlier on he wasn't on steroids oh yeah I don't think he made a hundred
no he's probably lying
oh I get what you're saying now
yeah
yeah
how much money do you make
what do you do for a living
how much money do you make
don't answer that
stop asking people that
stop doing the interviews are Don't answer that. Stop asking people that.
Stop doing the interviews.
Everyone's doing them.
It sucks.
Yeah.
It's so bad. Are you happy at your job?
It's the same question.
The lower effort they are, the more viral they are.
Switch up the question.
Don't even buy a microphone.
What do you do?
All right.
Can you call them?
Can you call them?
It's so bad.
The ones in Times Square that are like, would you fuck me for a million dollars?
And the girl's like, yeah, probably.
And they're like.
And I just like.
We'll not bag you.
You can't walk through Washington Square Park without getting asked a question.
It's so fucking lame.
False, because I used to do it a lot.
You were trying to get asked.
Yes, yes.
It's so lame.
I would play out the entire script in my head.
I had answers to every single popular question I fantasized about.
And the worst part is that people love those videos.
Yeah, they go insane.
I'll watch a video that I would say, it'll be like, I'll watch like a video that I were to say,
I'd be like,
this is sucks.
And then I'll look at the comments
and they'll be like,
dude, you've been fucking
killing it lately.
Yeah.
With like a thousand
laughing emojis.
Beautiful.
But like a lot of people's
man on the street,
they don't need to be there.
They are just a mic stand.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Like ours.
Yeah, I was just trying to say, I was just picking up the three that we've done in the recent.
Yeah, that's tough.
I mean, it's definitely hard to do, I would imagine, to be good at it.
It's hard to answer in a good way.
Yeah.
Shit.
I'm ordering a Wingstop. does anybody want Louisiana voodoo for
us I'm also okay wing stop get Dan and
John's Dan and John's well Stan and
John's wings 3% battery is better not
fuck me up it's a good good wing place
there's some leftover lunch and learn
food upstairs it's the last day we can
use our he breathes I use it in the first day
You use $90 the first day?
Instead of getting several meals
I get one really expensive meal
I always get it for delivery and it's never worth it
I think it's like Cuban sandwiches
Empanadas
You're going right now?
You're going to go see what it is
He just told you what it was
Nick, I got something for you What you got for me, Teej? You're going to go see what it is. He just told you what it was.
Nick, I got something for you.
What you got for me, Teej?
So when we were doing the World Cup thing a week ago, or whatever that was,
you asked Connor Griffin to learn the Uruguayan national anthem.
Yes.
He did it.
What a beast.
Oh, yeah.
That's fucked up. We got that whenever you want it.
He learned the five minutes. In Oh, yeah. That's fucked up. I told him. Whenever you want it. He learned the five in Spanish.
Yeah, I would like to.
Oh, is this five minutes of lyrics or is there a lot of instruments?
It's the longest nationally.
Yes.
Now.
OK, we can.
Connor, go ahead.
We can close.
Oh, it was here.
He's listening.
I'm sure.
Come on.
Come in.
Oh, hell yeah.
How he has.
He's been asking.
He's like, I got it. Whenever Nick needs me to sing the Uruguayan national anthem. Because he's been asking he's like i got it whenever nick needs me to sing
the uruguayan national anthem because he's a good memory guy he's a freak yeah he's a beast yes
if you haven't watched the act basketball the documentary was really good yeah
oh no what i ordered my popeye my wing wrong address? No, I forgot to use the bar store account.
It's paid.
That sucks.
Yeah, I get that a lot.
Oh, Nicky.
Did you go to the Bob Evans farm for spring break?
I told you that yesterday.
My college spring break.
What did you expect?
Me and my buddy Jacob Dunn, but he went by Mike Watkins
because he was trying to be a professional wrestler.
That's hilarious.
Look at that possibly.
But he, so me and Mike Watkins.
It's in Batavia, Ohio.
Yeah.
He's from Pomeroy, Ohio.
So he was like, hey, I'm going to go home,
but do you want to stop at the Bob Evans farm? I was like, ah, spring break, I don't know. And he was like, hey, I'm going to go home, but do you want to stop at the Bob Evans farm?
I was like, ah, it's spring break.
I don't know.
And he was like, come on, it'll be fun.
And I regretted my decision because it was just me and him.
Me and him going to this farm.
And we had nothing planned.
But I regretted the trip three minutes into the drive.
The first three minutes of a trip are the best.
What a drop-off after that.
Connor.
Connor, I was just calling you a beast if you heard that.
I didn't hear it.
Thank you, though.
I appreciate it.
You're a beast.
Thank you.
And this is the face and voice behind the Yak documentary,
the basketball documentary.
If you could do one thing with your voice like what's
your goal like what would be your your dream i would love to be like college football broadcaster
just talking about college football talking about any sports talk to brandon about it um but we'll
see what what would you would your spin be on it my spin yeah your personal spin to commentating
i don't know i just think being in, very honest and not overreactionary.
That's the one thing about sports, not to go on a tangent or anything.
People are just like, oh, this person sucks, or oh, they're the best thing in the world.
I'm kind of like a middle-of-the-ground type of guy.
Yeah.
I don't like that either.
Centrist sports commentator.
I hate this.
This guy sucks.
Well, it's because of the debate shows and everything like that.
I would like that. It'd be nice.
What do you got there, Brandon?
What would your catchphrase be?
I don't know about that. You have to develop that.
Why'd you leave your plate over there?
I think you have to go in with day one.
I tried to be a catchphrase guy
when I first started here. I was Al B.
Is there like a compilation
of people with famous catchphrases using it for the first time? Oh my god, I'd love that. That was Al B. Is there like a compilation of people with famous catchphrases using
it for the first time? Oh my god, I'd love that.
That'd be true. There is?
I think so. I think I've seen it.
I mean, Gus Johnson
has a ton.
If you just look up Gus Johnson compilations.
What's the best catchphrase?
Oh.
Whoa Nelly in college football for
Keith Jackson was one.
Whoa Nelly? that seems like something that was invented in the 20s it probably i mean he was very old
but that was it's the only context you would ever hear that was him saying about college football
yeah you do you want to take it away uh Yes. Would you like the instrumental?
No.
I think it's the first video that pops up.
TJ had it the last time.
We thought it was like the karaoke version.
The first minute is just music.
Then the lyrics kick in.
So should we do the instrumental that doesn't have the words?
I don't know. Because it might be different.
What are we doing?
All right.
So can we pull it up and minimize it? The first one. Yeah. Can you close your eyes and we can put the words? I don't know. Because it might be different. What are we doing? All right, so can we pull it up and minimize it?
The first one.
Yeah, can you close your eyes and we can put the lyrics?
I'll close my eyes.
And then you guys can see if I'm doing it right.
Now, this was like a week and a half ago that I learned.
But you have a very good, you're good at memorization.
If I just repeat it, yes.
If I just try and memorize it over and over and over again.
That's the best way to cheat is memorizing stuff.
Probably, yeah.
I don't know if it'll...
This also might be really boring, by the way.
How?
I'm going to drag on.
It's five minutes long.
Yeah, no.
I don't care.
It's an awkward part. I don't care.
I don't know what to do.
TJ, could you put it up on the screen?
At least so I know when it's kicking off.
Are the lyrics going to pop up?
The lyrics will pop up, but I won't be paying attention. Yeah, yeah, I believe you.
Okay, yeah, we're approaching.
We're approaching.
Orientalis la patria la tumba
Libertado con gloria morir
Orientales, la patria, la tumba
Libertado con gloria morir
Es el voto que el alma pronuncia
Y que rojo sabremos cumplir
Es el voto que el alma pronuncia Y que rojo sabremos cumplir. Es el voto que el alma pronuncia y que rojo sabremos cumplir.
Que sabremos cumplir.
Es el voto que el alma pronuncia y que rojo sabremos cumplir.
Que sabremos cumplir.
Sabremos cumplir. Sabremos cumplir.
Sabremos cumplir.
Sabremos cumplir.
Keep going.
Libertad, libertad orientales.
That future Drake song.
Este grito la patria salvó.
Que a sus bravos sin fieras batallas de entusiasmo se aprimen flemo.
What are you doing at Barstool Sports, man? Libertad, libertad orientales.
Este grito la patria salvó.
Que a sus bravos infieras batallas
de entusiasmo se plimentlemó.
De este don sacro santo la gloria What?
Are you jealous, Kyle?
Yeah, this is insane. Libertad en la ley clamoremos Y me riendo también libertad
Libertad en la ley clamoremos
Y me riendo también libertad
Y me riendo también libertad
También libertad también libertad. También libertad.
También libertad.
And then we bring it home.
We bring it home.
Yeah.
Orientales, la patria, la tumba.
Libertad o con gloria morir.
Orientales, la patria, la tumba.
Libertad o con gloria o morir
Es el voto que el alma pronuncia
Y que rojo sabremos cumplir
Es el voto que el alma pronuncia
Y que rojo sabremos cumplir
Que sabremos cumplir
Es el voto que el alma pronuncia
Y que hoy lo sabremos cumplir
Que sabremos cumplir
Is that it?
Sabremos cumplir
Sabremos cumplir
Sabremos cumplir
And that's it.
Wow, dude.
Wow. So, Crotty, that was supposed to be her, me. Sabre Moscow player And that's it Wow Dude Wow So
Crowdy
That was supposed
Per me
That was supposed to be
Part of my presentation
And I just
I was like okay
I'll just divvy this down
To Connor
And
I
Forgot to bring him in
You learned that
Like two weeks ago
I learned it two weeks ago
The off chance That you would have to do it
yeah and then i saw him afterwards and he was like oh my god i totally forgot to bring you
i felt i was like i'm a bad guy that's all right though so first of all i tasked you with this
impossible feat and then i forgot i totally blacked out right there by the way i have no
idea what just happened you nailed it word for yeah it was word for learned it for that moment, and you carried it for two weeks.
No, he's going to have that forever.
I know.
It'll be one of those things where, yeah, I have it in the back of my mind for the rest of my life.
Sabre most complete.
What's stopping you from learning a language?
I don't know.
I tried doing Spanish.
I took Spanish in high school and then a little bit in college.
And I guess I wasn't that interested in it enough to learn it.
I have to be really passionate about committing it to memory
and everything like that.
I don't know.
Gotcha.
Yeah.
That was crazy.
AB, anything you want to task him with?
For next show?
Yeah, what?
I might put you on world capitals.
Oh.
I'd like to have somebody to lean on against KB.
Every one?
Every one of them.
Okay.
I want to do something together.
We both learn it.
Okay.
Like a power team?
What if you guys both memorize something and add popcorn back and forth?
What do you want to memorize?
Because I can only memorize words, so I can't do pictures and forth. What do you want to memorize? Because mine, I can only memorize words.
So I can't do pictures or visuals.
You can do pie.
No.
No, that's a tough one.
I don't know.
Numbers, no.
I'll have to think about it.
I am trying to learn all the area codes for GeoGuessr.
That would be a big help.
That would be unbelievable.
What is GeoGuessr?
You were talking about that earlier.
I don't know what that is.
It's a game.
You know the Google Maps street view?
Yeah.
It just puts you somewhere random, and you have to figure out where you are.
So right now I'm doing something really boring.
I'm doing the U.S. map, and I'm trying to get a perfect score with under four-minute rounds.
You have to nail the exact precise location within 100 yards.
Okay.
What's the closest you've been?
I've gotten a perfect score with five-minute rounds.
Do you look around a lot, or do you just take the first shot?
You have to.
You have to move around and figure out your precise street block,
the block that you're on, or the exact area.
In the whole entire United States?
Yes.
That's insane.
So, you mean, if you look at a major city, it's obviously a lot easier.
But you've got to know the exact street.
Yeah, but it gets way easier the more you do it.
I guess.
So you just go.
Yeah, it's hard, and it's not fun, and it's not cool, and it's not entertaining, but that's it.
Why?
What?
Why do you do it?
I want to get the perfect score so bad.
Yeah.
But then once you get it, you're going to be a little upset.
What then?
Yeah, I will be upset.
Yeah.
So I don't think you really want it.
Yeah.
It's a quandary.
Let's spin the wheel.
Yeah.
Let's spin that bitch.
You are now on the wheel? Yep. If you, yeah. You are. But first, Manscaped. Oh, bitch. You are now on the wheel.
Yep.
You are the first manscape.
Oh, yeah.
Brandon?
I did the last one.
It's never too late to play holiday music,
and it's never too early to start thinking about gifts.
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to avoid another silent night in the bedroom.
Santa cares about his sack, and so should you.
Look nice when you get naughty for free.
Shipping.
Oops.
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It has everything needed to help you deck the halls from face to balls just in time for mistletoe season.
Get 20% off free shipping at manscaped.com slash yak.
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Manscaped.com slash yak.
$29.30.
What?
The Platinum Package has the Lawn Mower 4.0, has the Weed Whacker.
It's got the 2-in-1 Shampoo Conditioner.
And what's it infused with?
Sea Kelp.
Sea Kelp.
Yep, that's right.
The Body Wash Aloe-Infused Hydration, the deodorant that's aluminum-free.
The Crop Preserver, which is the anti-chafing ball deodorant.
Yes.
And you can get that and more at manscaped.com slash yak.
Alright, you got the wheel?
Oh, sheep.
They're a fascinating animal.
You think so?
Yeah.
I'm a big goat guy now.
What?
Brody.
Son of a bitch.
I just ordered.
Fuck.
Let's do tomorrow's lunch.
Do it tomorrow.
Do it tomorrow.
You in tomorrow's ass?
Yeah.
Lomo's on me.
What?
Tomorrow's Thursday.
Yeah, I know.
I'm going 30 minutes away.
I was going to say we would have to order it to wherever you are.
No, no, no.
I'll be here.
All right, wait.
Should we spin who pays?
Isn't Rowan supposed to pay?
Why?
Dan's going to be here.
Dan's got to pay.
Oh, yeah, he'll pay.
He doesn't have to pay.
He feels guilty for missing two shows.
He does all that.
He feels so bad.
I think we have to use that to our advantage.
Yeah, absolutely.
Cool, we will. All right, that is the yak. I've got to go do the rund. Yeah. Absolutely. Cool.
We will.
All right.
That is the yak.
Thank you.
I got to go do the rundown.
All right.
Are you doing it with me?
Oh, damn.
Cody.
I think I am.
Yeah.
All right.
No, I'm not.
You're supposed to be.
No, no, no.
I'm doing it Thursday.
No, you're doing it.
No, I'm doing it Wednesday.
No, I'm not.
I was only doing it today.
Who the fuck am I doing it with?
I don't know.
It might be me.
I don't know.
That's yak. All right. doing it today if I don't know I might be me I don't know that's yeah It's the act. It's the act.
That's time to talk shop and do Yankees love.
It's the act.
It's the act.