The Yak - Timm Woods Joins After Steven's WILD Ice Cream Take | The Yak 1-11-24
Episode Date: January 11, 2024AbsolutelyYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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now this is nice the big three so titus is moving brandon had to uh leave town for uh a death uh
i don't know if i'm supposed to say that he's okay someone a friend whatever thoughts and
prayers to brandon he's fine someone pick me up i've stepped in this um no actually he's okay someone a friend whatever thoughts and prayers to brandon he's fine someone pick me up
i've stepped in this um no actually he's doing terrible yeah brandon's called me weeping yeah
no you guys are not helping what the fuck don't bring this up okay yeah even uh you called his
mom too i called her again this morning that was great uh and kyle's still sick but we have will
confident kyle long wherever
the fuck they are we have an update from kyle a video that he sent us that we watched yesterday
if you want to see what he did yesterday oh i would like to see what he did yesterday i sent
it to tj will kyle woke up this morning and yep another sick day reach for a tissue and then it's time to start my daily puzzles.
And yeah, I guess my brain is sick.
Bath time.
We're catching up on a sick coworker.
Oh. Oh.
Braving a Panera sandwich.
Is there autumn squash soup back?
Yeah.
That's going to be the most.
COVID.
Is he sick?
COVID.
Luckily, I got the refund and remembered I had Shrek soup in the fridge.
Shrek soup.
His little dance in the fridge.
And that's it.
That's it.
That's his update. that's his sick update yeah
piper jones is a devil i know oh he's all up in his ass and uh he did send the piper jones
room to send a picture of it oh can we see it yeah yeah what's going on kyle kyle long's here
yeah it does sound like it's his cat does sound like a porn star. But maybe. Is there a Piper porn star?
I don't know.
There's got to be a Piper.
Zah?
TJ, can people hear the golf simulator?
Yes.
Paige, can you have the golf simulator, whoever's in there?
Nick.
Yo.
Roddy.
Roddy Piper?
That's a wrestler.
Roddy.
Roddy Roddy.
Nope, there is a Roddy.
Really?
A Roddy?
Wait, a Roddy P A Roddy Wait a Roddy
BBC
Rod
Piper
Rod
There you go
Oh he's not a guy
Oh
Rod
Piper
I mean you asked
You asked
Piper Perry
Woman
Pause
What the fuck
He said BBC
I was like wait what
Oh yeah
I gotta look out
For my brothers man
You gotta promo The brothers out there I actually don't think You have gotta look out for my brothers man you got to promo the
brothers out there I actually don't think you have to look out because I just assume BBC all the time
yeah yeah probably porn star black porn star I'm gonna say that's a small dick black porn star
okay never mind an LBC a little little black cock I'm going back to my home. What?
You have a little black cock that you know of?
LBC.
It's so funny to me.
You have an LBC you know of?
Listen, I know them all.
What's the LBC?
Is there an LBC you watch?
I'm not going to say it.
I'm not going to say it.
I mean, I'll get cooked if I say it.
Tell Steven he to say it. I mean, I'll get cooked if I say it. Tell Steve and he'll say it.
Tell us, Steve.
The guy that's going viral on Twitter, Baby Alien.
Baby Alien?
Oh, yo.
I mean, you asked.
I thought he was Spanish. I thought he was Spanish.
I thought he was Indian.
Listen, if you ain't white, you're black.
Shit.
Oh, damn.
Is that true?
Che.
Oh, yeah.
Say it.
Yeah, Che.
Use the word.
Give him the mic.
Oh, what did he just do?
I don't know.
Update, by the way, on the data.
Che has lost both his picks last night.
The haircut did not work.
That sucks because that was a big change you made.
Yeah, he's lost me a luxury automobile the last 10 days.
Yep.
It's bad.
I pulled the numbers this morning.
October, 50%.
No, I don't want to hear the good numbers.
I want to hear the bad numbers.
I'm getting to it.
It's a stark difference.
But you're starting with the good numbers.
50% is not good.
Okay.
October, 50%.
November, 61%.
December, 56%.
January, 17%.
17%.
How many units have we lost in January?
Negative 13.37.
Did you lose your virginity in January?
13.7. 13.7.
Oh.
How did you know that?
Yeah, what?
Kyle.
What?
How did you know that?
You lost your virginity?
I just look at the stats.
I mean, this was 2005.
Wait, you know the day you lost your virginity?
Wait, what?
I lost my virginity in January.
What is going on right now?
I don't know.
He asked me a question.
I said based on the numbers that I was just presented with.
Yeah, that's incredible.
You're like a magician.
You're Morrow.
Yeah, I mean.
Did you lose your virginity in January?
I don't know what month I did.
Yeah, I know.
That's what I was saying.
He stopped caring about the main thing.
The main thing is no longer the main thing for him.
Do you guys follow Mauro on TikTok?
He got some freaky shit.
Oh, dude, he's got a trick where he gets girls to kiss.
Yeah.
It's awesome.
It's sick.
But it's a cool trick.
It is.
What's the trick?
I got you.
Can you find it, TJ?
I mean, it's a great trick.
Yeah, Mauro's got, he's probably like swimming in it.
The trick is creating lesbians.
I think that's what he's trying to do with cards.
Will is such a nice guy that every time that we go from the pro football show
to the yak, he gets lost in the 50 yards that we walk.
Oh, because he's talking to somebody.
He's lost.
Yeah.
He's on the phone with like Donald Trump.
Okay, so the magic kiss.
All right, I got to get out of here, guys.
All right, that was good, Kyle.
I mean, you hit January.
Wait a minute.
You're leaving right before girls kiss.
Yeah.
You got to go watch an LBC or something?
My boyfriend's watching.
Okay, yeah.
He's weird like that.
Keep it deep.
Keep it deep, all right?
Keep it deep.
I'm going to take the next shot.
Okay, we have the Queen of Spades.
I'm going to sign this one, all right?
Morrow's got it Made
Yeah
So what did the other girl have?
What card was it?
Moshe's signature
But what card was it?
It's like the five of spades I think
Okay I like this trick so far
It's a good trick so far
Whoa Rewind that Okay, I like this trick so far. It's a good trick so far.
Whoa.
Rewind that.
Whoa.
You're just asking for it?
What? What?
It's an incredible trick.
Look at the dude.
So I think.
Moro magic.
Yes.
M-O-R-O magic.
I think Moro's coming back for maybe a finale of the month.
Okay, that would be great.
We were thinking about bringing him back, just a vibes thing.
I'm all in on magic.
Yeah.
Oh, we had magic week last week.
It's like there's nothing cooler than somebody who can truly do something that makes you go, how did that happen?
Yeah, we had a magician every single day.
It was awesome.
He could have done that trick, I'm sure, without making them kiss.
Yeah, but we're going to spin the wheel.
You know what we're going to do?
We're going to spin the wheel.
And we have to do the kiss.
I figured as much.
Two of us have to do the kiss.
He's going to make a little black cock appear in one of our mouths.
Will I see you guys at the Super Bowl or what?
Yes, definitely.
We'll see you guys in Vegas.
Yes.
Holler at me.
Yes.
Check me out on CBS Sports.
Good luck with the birth of your child.
Second child.
Hopefully it's a masculine child.
Will, Will.
Tell Will to come in here.
He's having another girl.
Is he?
He's about to go hunt deer. Yeah. Tell Will to come in here. He's having another girl. Is he? He's about to go, like, hunt deer.
Yeah.
I want to be that.
That's a man's man right there.
He is.
Don't put the camera on me after he walks out.
We got a lift in with Kyle this morning.
How was it?
Dude's rocking.
Yeah.
It's like 9 in the morning.
Me, Max, and Kyle.
I'm doing a dude's rocking later today.
Oh, yeah?
You're invited.
So is Booth.
What is it?
Bringing back the sleepover. So is Booth. What is it?
Bringing back the sleepover.
The male sleepover.
Yep, I got PS2, NBA Street Volume 2.
We're ordering pizzas and getting beers.
And I'm doing a sleepover at mine.
Mook, Rudy, and Danny Conrad so far.
Oh my God, I want to go so bad.
Swing through.
Swing through.
Can you drive me to work tomorrow?
I don't have a car.
All right, deal.
All right, cool.
I should host one because my son has bunk beds.
Yes.
Kick him out of his room. We're sleeping on the floor.
I know, but kick my son out of the room and we go bunk beds.
Mm-hmm.
Fuck.
Guys, why did we stop?
Why did we stop?
It was good for us.
You guys going to watch porn?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I love this idea. Mm-hmm. i'm trying to run ps2 we're gonna
eat pizza but not like good pizza we're getting domino's pizza and then um tell will to come in
here i'm gonna drink beer you're gonna drink beer yeah yeah this is getting out of hand my phone
calls yeah we're gonna call our crushes i'm so jealous yeah i know you guys gotta take some
video for tomorrow of Of course, yeah.
Watch some highlights.
We're going to have Moot Calls Crush and see if she likes it.
You going to do sleeping bags?
Yeah.
No, I have an air mattress.
We could have probably three on the couch and then.
You should send me your address and I'll come over at like one in the morning and tell you guys to go to sleep.
Okay.
Yeah.
Please do.
Just be like fucking go to sleep already. Boys. Yeah. Enough. to go to sleep. Okay. Yeah. Please do. Just be like, fucking go to sleep already.
Boys.
Yeah.
Enough.
Cosplay his dad.
Yeah.
Enough of this shit.
Go to bed.
Big sleepover tonight.
I'm jealous.
It's therapeutic.
Are you guys okay with working on Monday?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Oh, I answered too quickly.
Wait, should-
It's MLK Day.
Technically a day off.
And I told TJ we could easily take the day off
But also if you're doing
It's gonna be
I think zero degrees
I was gonna come in anyway
Let's put out a show
Cause we get
Yeah let's just do a show
Let's do a show
Do a show
Cause we get the stream
Later that night
Let's fucking do a show
Yep
Okay
We're in it for Monday
Let's uh
Titus picked the worst time to move We're getting, uh... Titus picked the worst time to move.
We're getting snow tomorrow.
Titus picked the worst time to be the costume guy for holidays.
Oh, yeah.
ML Key did.
What up, Willie?
Yeah, yeah, it's you.
It's you.
It's a light crowd today.
What's up, big dog?
How we doing?
Willie C's here.
What are you doing tonight, Will?
Um... I'm flying home. Damn. Will, do you know the month are you doing tonight, Will? I'm flying home.
Damn.
Will, do you know the month that you lost your virginity?
Why don't you tighten up?
Let's tighten up.
Scoot in, Mookie.
Scoot it in, Mookie.
Do you know the month you lost your virginity?
Yeah.
July.
Okay.
July of 2000 and...
July of 2003, 2004.
Yeah, because Kyle was here for five minutes
and he guessed Chase's month of virginity.
He lost.
Oh, he guessed it?
He was correct.
Did you lose your virginity in January?
He was like, yeah, I did.
And then he walked out.
It was actually, he was a magic trick.
Oh, yeah, where is KB?
No.
That's with Kyle.
Kyle Long.
Oh, Kyle Long.
KB is sick. He's got the bigB. No. This is Kyle. Kyle Long. Oh, Kyle Long. KB is sick.
He's got the big C.
No.
Yeah.
How does he know?
I know.
What do you mean?
If he knows, then I don't know why I fuck with him.
I know.
He tested.
He's COVID testing.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
I don't know.
Yeah, you got to get him out of your phase five.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'll never test again. Well, you know how he got it? Probably from me, mean i don't know like i don't know yeah you gotta get him out of your fave five yeah yeah i'll never test again well you know how he got it probably from me but i
wouldn't know i was in here at work coughing this is how it goes yeah yeah imagine having that convo
like whenever that happened i can't remember what you know the fake virus oh yeah yeah yeah yeah i don't but it is
very funny for someone when they're like that is the question i always when someone's like i got
i'm like you tested right i didn't even know they still sold tests yeah someone gotta be cheap right
yeah they have to be cheap they gotta be free do you remember hoarding? Yeah. I had so many tests in my house at one point.
Yeah, I remember having a few.
Because it was like, you know, like my kids were like very young and it was like, if you
feel a little sick, you got to make sure.
And if you had to travel or go anywhere, like they would require.
Yeah.
Damn.
Kyle's down bad.
You want to see what he's up to?
Yeah.
I could watch this video a hundred times.
It's so good.
Yeah. He just sent an update a nice oh and i sent kb the uh or i sent tj the cat room also i want to
see the cat room bad because i want to see if my gift got there that's the important part
there's a chance he just threw my gift out this is the cat room this is the cat room
dead center yes i mean it's a great album for the cat room.
Cat Dennings.
No food.
Big ass treadmill, no food.
Carl Anthony Towns.
There's Piper Jones.
So cute.
Piper Jones.
Laying above her two blouses.
Piper Jones.
Yeah, here's what he did yesterday, Will.
We got like a save Ferris situation going with KB.
Ferris Bueller
Okay
Is he really sick?
Oh yeah
He's probably
Is he breaking content?
No
Is that a Cubs game right now?
Yeah
Is
Is KB like a
Is he faking it?
Is he a fake sick guy?
I don't think so
Is he a hey
It's
They sound way worse
Than it actually is
I think
I think that's me yeah i
think he's no well no nick is a uh clearly sick tries to power through but like nick you got to
go home it's very like i wear it on my face yeah right yeah kb more is i think he's i think he sees
sickness as weakness so like remember when he had i don, I think it was kind of a cancer scare?
He had a cancer scare, yeah.
For like seven months, he was like, yeah, I guess I'll go check it out.
He had that giant lump on his armpit.
Yeah, so he just powers through.
Do you remember his lip bump?
Yeah.
He had a bump on his lip that was bigger than his lip.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's my bump.
He was just rocking it.
Yeah, it was the biggest thing I've ever seen.
You can tell a lot about a person how they deal with sick.
Yeah.
It's like, Nick, you do like try to power through.
Brandon will say he's sick, tell you he's sick, tell you he's not going to come in,
say I can't come in because I'm sick, and then come in.
Yeah.
And then be like, I shouldn't be here.
Yeah, I shouldn't be here.
I'm so sick.
I think he fetishizes getting sent home.
Yes, yes.
Brandon, you're doing too much.
Yeah.
And then the people where you know that all they have is just like maybe a minor cold
and they just got the sniffles or something or maybe a little cough and they're just like,
oh, I think I'm going to stay home.
And you're just thinking, yo, you are such a pussy.
Yeah.
But they try to swing it like they're saving you.
Just like, I don't want to get you sick.
Yes, bro.
You don't want this.
And I think in my head, I want my immune system to be tested.
Yeah, give it to me.
I doubt what you have, I'll get.
I want to lick some floors.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Get it going.
No, what's worse though?
The person who's a big pussy about sick or the person who's so visibly sick but denies
it and then gets everyone else sick.
I think that person might be the worst.
I resent that person.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It depends on the sick.
If it's a cold, come in.
Yeah.
If you have the flu, don't.
Do not.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If you have diarrhea, you can work every day.
Everybody here does have diarrhea.
I'm living proof of it.
The toilets here, the delay flush.
Oh, my God.
That's a good point.
The toilets here get smoked every day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're incredible. Thankfully, we delay flush. Oh, my God. The toilets here get smoked every day. Yeah. They're incredible.
Thankfully, we have enough.
Yeah.
Barely.
Yeah.
Do you guys have a toilet you like here the most?
Which one?
I hope we don't.
But which one?
Furthest.
No.
No.
If you're going to take a shit, you got to go to the first stall.
Yes.
You're an idiot.
Really?
I don't want to shit next to somebody pissing. No. Furthest is where everyone goes. Yeah. You got to to the first stall yes you're an idiot i don't want to i don't want to shit next to like somebody pissing no furthest is where everyone goes yeah they you gotta be the
the first one the smallest one is always the one that has the least amount of action oh that's
genius yeah you're right yeah we shouldn't have said this out loud yeah everyone goes to the
handicap stall what there's extra room there's three there though what about is there what about
the middle the middle i feel like That's for sickos
The cleanest toilet you'll get
The next time you're in an airport
And you have to take a shit
You just go in the bathroom
And use the first stall
It's going to be the best
Put together
Oh dude
Every time
Airport bathrooms
There's no such thing as clean
No every time
There's at least dirty
You hear people in airport bathrooms
Like losing their life
Yeah
On the toilet
Hey I love it
Yeah You shit in every airport? I do too Cause sometimes when I'm like A scared shitter And I'm like man hear people in airport bathrooms like losing their life yeah on the toilet hey i love it yeah you
shit in every airport i do too i i because sometimes when i'm like a scared shitter and i'm like man i
wish i could just be myself and then i'll just go to an airport and take a shit and you hear
everybody else you're like yeah let's just fucking yeah smoke the boys are i'm not myself still
take off your shirt i i can shit anywhere i you let it? The people who are like scared to shit in public
And like that stuff
How do you live your life?
It's almost like
You're talking to Nick right now, yeah
You're right
But sometimes if I'm like shitting
And I know I'm like the only one in there
And then you kind of hear somebody come in
You're kind of like feeling like you're a little caught
And you're like okay let me
Let this one slide out
Oh I'll make it awkward
I'll be like nice shit
Yeah Say something like oh that's a lot Like if somebody's already in there shitting okay, let me let this one slide out versus just... Oh, I'll make it awkward. I'll be like, nice shit. Yeah.
And say something like, oh, that's a lot.
Like if somebody's already in there shitting,
then you're almost,
you feel comfortable going and letting it fly.
Yeah.
We should start a friendly banter.
Yeah.
Like shitting next to another person.
Why not?
You know the person next to you.
Yeah.
Got any pics tonight?
Yeah.
It's like, yeah, what video are you watching?
If a guy's really blowing up the toilet,
like destroying it confidently,
and then he gives
you a pick how much you putting on it oh so much so much that might be lock of the year
it'd be vulnerable yeah give a pick like that you're getting out all these demons
all that's left is the winner i should start saying that every time i take a shit just being
like whoever's next to me like you got a pick yeah maybe maybe tap under do the wide stance
and then tap underneath i think if your foot goes underneath the stall it's like your hands trying
to find something who is who is that politician there was that kept on sliding his foot under
the stall right yeah he sucked dick he was like a very anti-gay politician and then someone was
like dude i remember you fucking tried to suck my dick in the Utah airport.
Yeah.
What?
Yeah.
Who was that?
TJ, can you just search?
Slide foot under bathroom stall gay.
Politician.
Yeah.
I want to say it was Utah.
One of the-
Is that the move?
Yeah, I think so.
You're going to have to ask somebody else, but probably.
I mean, I'm only like 50%.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah larry craig
oh it's new york city council a foot tapping is there a video he runs his hand under the wall
on june 11th with the arrest of larry craig at the time of republican united states senator from
idaho so i was close for lewd conduct and men's restroom at the minneapolis st paul uh airport
you were kind of right top to bottom. Yeah, I kind of nailed that.
All right, so was arrested
at Minneapolis
St. Paul International Airport
on suspicion
of disorderly conduct.
The nature of the alleged
activity has been categorized
by some as cottaging.
Okay.
According to the police report,
the police officer
sat in a bathroom stall
as part of an under...
Oh, shit,
he got a sting up on him?
Of course,
it's from the UK.
I thought he got tattled on in a bathroom stall as part of an undercover operation investigating complaints
of sexual activity in the restroom after about 13 minutes of sitting in the stall the police
officer observed craig lingering outside and frequently peeking through the crack
craig then entered the stall to the left of the officer's stall the police officer made the
following observation which he recorded his report of the the incident. At 12.16 hours, Craig tapped
his right foot. I recognize this
is a single use by persons wishing to engage
in lewd conduct. Craig tapped his shoes
several times and moved his foot closer to my
foot. The presence of others did not seem
to deter Craig as he moved his right foot
so that it touched the side of my
left foot, which was in my
stall area. Craig then proceeded
to swipe his left hand under the stall divider several times, the
palm of his hand facing upward.
I'm going to start doing that here.
I would just put my turd in your hand.
Is that illegal?
Can't you just get out of this?
That's against the law.
How's that illegal?
Wouldn't he have to suck the dips?
To play footsies?
Yeah, dudes can't tap anymore?
Yeah, well, I'm tapping all the time
so he got arrested for just doing the gestures
right
that's crazy
I had an incident like that
at the gym like 10 years ago
I was showering and a dude just kept on
like looking over
the thing and like kind of like just
kept on trying to make eye contact with me I was like
can I help you and he's like oh I'm so sorry but it was like clear that like he kept on trying to make eye contact me. I was like, can I help you? And he's like, oh, I'm so sorry.
But it was like clear that like.
He's trying to know if you'll look back.
Yeah, he was trying to see if like there was something there.
Back in my CrossFit days, I was ripped.
Still tiny penis though.
It's a hilarious visual.
You got some old photos?
Shirtless old photos.
Oh my God.
You can look at just any old barstool
this politician
put his hand out
and the cop just showed
his badge under the stall
that is so good
probably 35 pounds
whenever they post
like I think they post
a stingray video
from what 2013
that was probably
30 pounds lighter
oh I want to get
yeah I want to see those
yeah
Will wants to get in tight.
Get in tight.
Yeah, bring it in tight, Mark.
Have you ever tried to suck a man's dick in an airport?
Yeah, actually, funny story about that.
I was at the Minneapolis airport this one time.
Airports are an inherently horny place.
You think so?
Oh, yeah.
We're talking about the, was it a politician?
Yeah, I just read the whole story.
The officer showed Craig his police identification beneath the partition separating the stalls,
and the officer then pointed his finger toward the restroom exit.
Craig initially said no, but he ultimately complied with the officer.
That sucks.
Well, I would say no, dude.
You just stay in the bathroom forever.
Yeah, you stay there.
Yeah, you just stand on the toilet, and you're like, no one's in here.
I'm not in here.
Yeah.
Hey, why is the airport horny?
Everybody has a lust for life there.
They're traveling.
It's strangers.
I think that's a horny place.
I think airports are very horny.
Dude, I went through a weird phase of getting a boner
before I went to the airport.
Yeah.
I don't know why.
There's also like the fantasy of falling in love
with that random woman.
Yeah.
Walking that way. Sitting next to her on the plane yeah and your mind just goes crazy of like what if i would have followed her onto her flight we could build a life together
yeah have you guys ever done that like the the beers at an airport with like a stranger
yeah i i had beers with a braggart once all he was doing was bragging i was talking about a woman oh no i had a felt i nope i got stuck with a braggart which was a it's a it's a hell yeah and the chilies to go
or chilies two or something yeah yeah chilies two yeah yeah have you had a airport beer no i mean
but do you play that fantasy in your head if you're like sitting having a beer and you see a
woman you're like what if we just where place. What if we just went off together?
Flight attendant fantasies.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
No.
Flight attendants.
Yeah.
Fellas now.
A lot of gay guys.
That's.
What about.
What about.
Answer the question.
What about Virgin America that you ever been on a Virgin flight and you can text message
people in different seats.
Oh yeah.
Literally is just they made it so that people will hook up.
Say that again you can so on on virgin america flights there's a obviously a tv in front of you you can text a seat you can be like to like 3b hey what's up you're hot shit
yeah like their only reason they put that in was for people to hook up right my high club yeah
my high club i don't i don't think i'd fit in the bathroom yeah there's no way it would be good Like their only reason they put that in was for people to hook up. Right. Mile High Club. Yeah.
Mile High Club.
I don't think I'd fit in the bathroom.
Yeah, there's no way it would be good.
No. There's no way.
Especially with me.
I think I'd have, actually, I think that's actually like, if you said Mile High Club,
I had to do it.
I think it would be a 0.0.
Like I could do it a thousand times and I would never make the woman come.
Yeah.
Because I would be in a weird position and I'd just be like, all right, I'm done.
I don't know if I could make myself come.
That's a 20-second bust.
I can come at any time.
Just kidding me.
Just walking to the bathroom would be like, hold on.
Oh, yeah.
Is this about to happen?
Maybe it's the situation that would get each other off the the hot yeah the hotness yeah
hot sex yeah the hot sex hot sex hot sex is what gets me off hot sex oh yes
you've been looking at me the whole time and i've been whoa relax
oh yeah yo pause
tightest so you picked the worst time to move yeah dude yeah we're gonna get six
inches of snow maybe we did i was doing the final walkthrough just now oh nice we have one minor
emergency there's no outlet by the master bathroom toilet oh yeah nowhere to plug in my bidet oh
so we're scrambling for solutions uh but also you can't live there man yeah I might just back out of the deal
but there's a
moving up upgrading
you bought a house yeah we bought a house
congratulations we're excited about it
but yeah it is the worst time to move
the final walkthrough though is a little anxious
because you're
similar probably to me where it's like I don't know
shit about shit yeah I spent the entire
time measuring for TVs.
Right.
They wanted me to test the furnace, make sure the toilet.
I was like, I don't give a fuck about that.
I was measuring how big of a TV can I put here again?
Yeah, they show you the fucking water heater, all this stuff.
You're like, if this has a problem, I'm screwed.
Or they give you a roll of blue tape.
Yeah.
Yeah, mark it.
Go ahead and mark it.
What the fuck am I going to do?
If it's broken, I'm going to freak out, pretend my life is over,
call someone who can fix it.
They're going to come fix it.
And you're going to get ripped off.
And you see how much they put down blue tape,
and then all of a sudden you're just looking at a little speck,
and you're like, hey, is this blue tape material?
Yeah.
I was told the neighbors are very excited to meet who's moving in,
and I'm trying to figure out how to play it.
Do I play hard to get and stay a little mysterious?
Do I, you know?
I want to be overzealous.
That's what they said.
They said the neighbor, because the realtor that's selling it
said that when she was coming by the house,
the neighbors kept coming over and asking,
are you the one moving in?
There's multiple groups of neighbors that are like, are you the one moving in and there's there's like
multiple groups of neighbors that are like are you the one moving in oh shit you should we can't
wait to meet who's buying the house you might get in a fucking nerds you might be in a good position
though because it might have meant that the person you bought the house from sucked oh good point
like i had that like when i moved in like i met a couple neighbors that are like yeah we never
talked to the people who used to live here yes And now, unfortunately for them, I do not
talk to them either. But there was a
moment where they're like, oh, cool person moved in.
You should call
911 or send
an ambulance one night and then have the
neighbors come over. Hey, is everything okay?
No, my girl and I, we just like to role play
every now and then.
Yeah, you have
a chance to have a lot of fun i know that's what i'm trying
to figure out how to how to play this oh you should yeah you should do the ambulance you
should that would be hilarious you should do the ambulance and have them straight face you got
your yeah but what about if you got i'm sure people like own ambulances recreationally get
one of those and just have like have you go out on a gurney yeah you should make a death or no you
should just like pay somebody to take you out in a gurney every day what's going on
what the hell is going on in there yeah you gotta play there every fucking day this is kind of
nerve-wracking though tight yeah we're Yeah. We were talking about this, Will.
Like, the neighbors, that's, like, are you going to become friends?
Yeah.
Is it going to be, like, an open-door policy?
Like, it's tough.
Dude, I know.
Our neighbors across the street, A+.
Yeah.
Go into a Preds game with them Saturday.
I do want, I mean, my instinct is to be antisocial and be like, I don't really know if I want to know my neighbors and all that.
But you do get in situations where you're like, man, it'd be really nice if I could go on this vacation and not have to find a dog sitter.
Right.
I could just have my neighbor come and let him out.
Right.
To have somebody that could just do that.
Are you looking for a bro or someone to help you with responsibilities when you need it?
I think more the responsibilities.
I think it's more like, yeah, we're going on vacation can you just do this for me it wouldn't be the worst if you
if you had like a bro adjacent but then maybe also down the block you had a karen yeah there's a
karen on the block as long as you don't live next to the karen yeah it could be an asset keeps eyes
on things yeah yeah just let you know what's going on i did the the the the realtor is telling it to
us did say that the one of the neighbors i it's just gonna drive me crazy i guess i have to meet
this guy one of the neighbors brother-in-laws uh he's into because i was wearing this jersey i went
over and uh she's like she goes she goes one of the neighbors uh has a brother-in-law that's like
really into sport he played uh i think it was like football for like the are the seahawks a team and i was like for the fucking seahawks
and she goes yeah he made like the pro bowl i think and i was like who who is it she's like
it could have been are the rams a team and she kept like doing that and i was like well now i
need to know who this guy is whoa but he's not the neighbor it's like he's the brother of i don't know
and i feel like this is a trap i feel like this is a trap to get me to meet these people.
She's going to be so off.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He played, like, Division III football somewhere.
Yeah.
That is very funny.
He went to your walkthrough in a jersey.
Were you?
Yeah.
Like, are we sure he can afford this?
Yeah.
Jersey.
Fuck, the neighborhood's going to shit.
Were you friends with, like, when you lived in apartment buildings, were you friends with
the people in surrounding apartments? Ish.
I never have been. I've never known a neighbor.
A lot of head nods.
That's about it. Yeah, I try to
avoid two usually. We just got lucky
with the ones that we're friends with right now.
My last
apartment in New York was
five units in a
single elevator, like you get
you're in an elevator with people yeah all the time yeah you're like forced to make small yeah
right I think that the the shitty part be like oh I'm in 403 you're in 404 and then you almost
have to feel like let's get together sometime I know yeah yeah yeah I like to keep it was like
oh cool but then you know if you're just sitting there in science like man I bet I just came off
like I don't want to know them at all but there's like, oh, cool. But then you know if you're just sitting there inside, it's like, man, I bet I just came off like,
I don't want to know them at all.
But there's people who are wired like that.
Like, there's people, in one of my apartments in New York,
they had like a Christmas party in the lobby.
Yeah.
And it was like, everyone came out.
I went out, I got a plate of food and went right back to my apartment.
I was like, I don't know what I'm doing right now.
What am I supposed to do? But yeah,'s like people who like become friends with each other
and shit my apartment that i'm in now had a party for the chicago marathon we all they had a tent
set up and had food and we're handing out water but i didn't go yeah it's kind of daunting yeah
like you probably try to like avoid like being seen, I walk in with an overcoat with a collar up.
Yeah, like, oh, that's Nate.
Yeah.
Yeah, they talk about me behind my back for sure.
My building is like people running through the halls to avoid other people.
I like that.
Yeah, it's like nobody wants, it's strictly business.
Right.
Nobody is chatty with anyone.
Right.
I like that.
You don't want to become best friends with your neighbors,
because then what if you feel like fuck their wife or something?
Yeah.
There was a accident.
Fuck.
Next thing you know,
you're fucking his,
your neighbor's wife.
Yeah.
Stumble right into it.
She fell right into that.
Why didn't you ever talk to me?
I just,
that was out of respect.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I respect you too much.
I've been fucking your wife. i couldn't be friends with you
wait so uh six inches of snow tomorrow no it's it's gonna be like more like three the
the key is whenever there's like weather reports for like chicagoland it's they'll say like oh
eight inches of snow and then you look at it and it's like
if you're in like the west suburbs it's like
8 inches in the city it's going to be I think it's
like 2 to 3 I was going to say that
hibachi chef is going to struggle getting in
oh I forgot about hibachi tomorrow
there's going to be a certain point where Brandon
just can't come in yeah
there'll be a couple weeks
yup
that's true
just can't do his job yeah who are you doing who are you having on mostly
i don't know i don't know well remember i'll stop by yeah because coom dog's coming in tomorrow
yeah who's coom dog ron coomer he's uh ron coomer to he's color analyst for the cubs radio oh yeah
yeah he's the man yeah stella blue is cute we bought ad space the Cubs radio He's the man Stella Blue is
We bought ad space on Cubs radio
He's awesome
He's like a
Guy's guy
His name's Coomdog
Coomer
Him and Pat Hughes are at the point where
A lot of people just mute the TV
Yeah they're incredible
They have just perfect baseball voices.
Baseball on the radio is a great thing.
It's so good.
Yeah.
It might be best for radio.
Yeah, it's the best sport for radio.
Yeah.
Easily.
Football's not bad.
Hockey's impossible.
Yeah.
Yeah, all the power to kick, guys.
You would say hockey on the radio?
Hockey would be, yeah.
Yeah.
Goes too fast
Way too fast
You going to Preds game?
Yeah
Love watching them live
You got the suite?
I think we're
Front row
On the glass
You have to chug a beer?
On the glass
No I don't think so
I don't think so
You're a good chugger
Yeah let's hope
If it happens If you get If it happens I don't think so. You're a good chugger. Yeah, let's hope.
If it happens.
If it happens, you've got to try to outlast the Jumbotron.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The game has to come back on. Chug the entire time out.
You're so good.
That would be amazing.
Oh, we need that to happen.
The hockey games are awesome.
Taylor had another chug over the weekend.
What did he do?
Titans game.
He did.
Let's talk about you at the Titans game.
What about it?
What happened with that picture of you daintily licking your fork?
That was my spoon because I was eating ice cream on a cookie.
Yeah.
On a plate. Impossible picture to like, if you get eating ice cream on a cookie. Yeah. On a plate.
Impossible picture to like, if you get someone like licking a spoon.
I haven't seen it.
They look as soft.
You can tell I'm happy.
I lick a lot of spoon.
Oh, no.
You turned it backwards.
You're doing it.
Yeah. You're doing a... Yeah.
You're like, you just know I'm so happy about ice cream.
I need to see that again.
I need to see it one more time.
It's so good.
Where did you get this?
I need this recipe.
Give me this recipe.
Oh, honey.
I typically don't like things this rich, but my God.
This tapioca pudding is to die for.
You made this?
All right.
Pretty similar.
How did that person get it so perfectly?
Like, that is the perfect picture of you.
I need to see it again.
One more Have you seen the professional ice cream taster
That uses the silver spoon
Oh yeah
Oh I want to watch that video again
I miss him
No he does every type of ice cream
I don't know he might just be Ben and Jerry's guy
Do you guys know that Haagen DDazs is from New Jersey?
What?
I thought it was German.
They made the name to sound like it was German.
Smart.
It's just some random dude.
Smart.
Yeah.
Holy shit.
And he nailed it.
He did.
Crushed it.
Good on him.
I spent my whole life thinking that Haagen-Dazs was, you know, Belgium.
Like, yeah.
Yeah.
Is there a translation there, or does it just sound German?
It's got to be a German.
You can look it up, TJ.
I'm pretty sure he just made up the name.
Just a German sound.
That would be amazing.
Isn't there an umlaut in it, too?
Oh, my God.
A couple.
A couple umlauts.
There might be some umlauts.
Um what?
Yeah, there's an umlaut.
Yeah.
Agenda's established by Rubin and Rose Mattis in the Bronx.
So I was wrong.
Bronx, not New Jersey.
You've been kind of right all day.
Starting with only three flavors.
Yeah, Haagen-Dazs founder.
Wait, it was a Jewish guy that made a German.
Yeah, they joined Uncle, where's the name?
Danish sounding name.
Yeah, so in 1959, he decided to form a new ice cream company
with what he thought to be a Danish sounding name.
Haagen-Dazs, distributed to Denmark's
limited exemplary treatments of Jews during World War II.
Interesting. It's an homage.
Yeah, it's an homage to not killing
Jews. You guys did us all right.
We're going to do you the favor and
offer you our ice cream. But how fun is that?
Dude in bronze, being like, Haagen-Dazs.
So in tasting, what we do is
take a small amount right off the top.
It doesn't take much.
That's the warmest part right here.
I'm going to invert the spoon.
Cover all 9,000 taste buds.
Aerate it.
Warm it up.
Driving up that top note, that cream, pure vanilla.
Sweeteners. this guy gets a bunch
of box for sure
that's a 10
oh he loves it
sounds like a dog
I'll never
I'll never
enjoy something
that much
yeah
I'm jealous of people
like that
cream
vanilla
9000 flavors
I love those old
internet videos
before like
viral became a thing
right
yeah
the
the
the
business card guy
I think we've watched it here
the
what does your card do
oh yeah
mine folds
the guy working at the
roast beef buffet
and he's trying to talk to somebody
and they're giving him nothing
wait
I don't know that one you don't know roast beef buffet guy no it's like a tutorial for people
that are about to work at this buffet oh and it's how he's just trying to talk to somebody
and the person talking back's giving him nothing i want to see that i gotta see that tj do you know
what i'm talking about i don't think i know what oh boy i hope i didn't make this up give me the
business card guy too 10 000 pound what does your What does your business card do? Let's do old internet.
It tells a story. I just sent TJ
an old one too. I love it.
If you guys get like a gallon of ice cream for
home and you open it,
do you eat the ice cream that's on top?
Oh, this is the worst.
Are you afraid somebody licked it? No, Stephen had a tweet
that was like some... Stephen,
I have to ignore some of Stephen's tweets because if I
go after every single one, that'll be my whole job.
Right.
You'd be somebody who read politics every day.
You'd just make yourself mad.
My brain would be broken.
At all times.
I'd just be like, oh, I'd be waking up being like, I got to see what Stephen Cheney said.
He tweeted over, I think it was over Christmas, the best ice cream is the ice cream from the
lid.
No.
Like the little piece. No, no, no.
I got a lot of people that stood with me on that.
Pudding maybe. Bring up the tweet
so we can see how many people actually stood with you.
I just don't know like
that's
bad. It's bad.
It tastes papery. It's the most like freezer
and it's also like a very little amount.
The best ice cream is when you get the
fucking huge scoop and then the rest of the thing. I like it a little little amount. The best ice cream is when you get the fucking huge scoop and then the rest of the thing.
I like it a little runny.
The best ice cream in the container are the edges as it slightly melts.
Yes.
And you can just trace the scoop.
Yeah.
Also.
Perfectly smooth.
Also, the best ice cream in the container is when you get like an ice cream that has
like, say, a fish food from Ben jerry's or like a peanut butter cup the top is usually like just regular ice cream but then when you hit that first when you hit that
first rock it's like hitting gold and you're like oh boy this and you start to maybe eat around it
yeah yeah yeah you just find it you're mine that looks like dog shit that's terrible dude
lid ice cream is the best ice cream? Oh, on the whole carton?
I'll say you're eating Neapolitan.
Ah, don't eat Neapolitan.
I thought you meant scraping the top.
You're talking about the ice cream on the lid.
That looks like Che's doodle wipe.
That is the ice cream on the top of the-
How is that in any world the best ice cream?
It always is like the freshest.
It's just, it's not, it never has freezing.
That part, if you're just opening it the first time- As you're talking, are you realizing it's just it's not it never has that part if you're just opening
it the first time as you're talking are you realizing
it's not the that
photo that you posted really dark
aura yeah that wasn't the
best but that's the first time I've had that
that looks like a photo you'd take at a crime scene
it looks cursed I don't like anything
about that that was a photo where
the cops come in and they're like oh he's been
here that's evident what does this mean yeah
we have 24 hours to find him.
The ice cream.
Don't touch that.
You can see he just opened this before he murdered his whole family.
It's his calling card.
Whole carton.
Yeah, whole carton.
You still believe that?
Yes.
If I open the whole carton, that's what I go to first.
I scrape it off the top.
So if there was an ice cream store.
It's worth half a scoop.
New Year's resolution.
Yeah, you can't.
I saw this tweet and I just let it go because I was like,
I can't let every single tweet bother me from it.
What's your New Year's resolution?
To not let Che bother me.
He's Che's guy.
I'm trying to be Che's guy.
How would you react if a stranger you didn't know had said that the best part
of the ice cream carton is the ice cream on
the lid i would ask that stranger i would say so it might understand that if there was an ice cream
store that only sold ice cream lit ice cream you would line up for that versus the actual ice cream
store and i wonder what that stranger would say. I'm curious. He's basically, Chase, trying to take, like,
there are instances where this phenomenon happens.
Yeah, where it's like, oh, you know what's the best part of the muffin?
The muffin top.
If you sold just muffin tops, I would buy them all day.
People like licking the lid of pudding.
Right.
People like that little melted, at the end of, like, a freeze pop.
I like to drink the little bit of water that's in the tuna can.
Yes, it's the exact same thing. What?
These type of things, Nick.
I love how you just laugh right away, too.
Couldn't even hold it.
But Jay will say that.
He can say anything.
Yeah.
He'd be like, you know what's the best?
That shot of tuna water.
Licking the lid of the tuna can.
We had some people in the comments agreeing.
That's cool, man.
Do you also...
Perfect answer.
Yeah, I'm happy for you, dude.
That's awesome.
That's really cool.
That's really cool.
Oh, Jay.
God.
Yeah, there's just so many better parts of a of an ice cream
container so many so many oh literally anything else yeah do you know what i i realized uh
after i bought my house but it so the freezer has uh it's like this is about to be one of the
richest sentences no No, no.
But there's levels on the freezer,
and there's a top level that keeps the ice cream the perfect temperature.
My ice cream, when I scoop my ice cream,
I never have to let it sit out.
It's just...
Mook doesn't have windows.
I didn't know it existed.
And then I started getting ice cream,
and I was like, wait, how is my ice cream perfect?
I was like, oh, shit.
Yeah, I have a dope mini fridge.
I got an ice cream freezer.
Yeah, dope mini fridge.
It just has freezers burned right away?
There's nothing in it.
Your toilet's really far away from the wall.
Okay, that was an out-of-touch thing I just said.
I apologize.
It just sits in the middle of the wall.
His toilet's real far away from the wall.
Yeah.
Mook, you can come over and have some ice cream.
Okay.
Deal.
It'll be the best you've ever had.
Best you've ever had.
Best you've ever had. I heard you guys are doing a sleepover.
Yeah.
Tonight you want to come?
Kind of.
We don't have anything to do tomorrow.
Kind of.
I can't.
Wait, are you going to work in the morning and then move?
Yeah.
I'm doing mostly sports.
Okay.
We're signing the documents at like 11 or something.
So, yeah, just do it with your guys and then I'll come in with coomer at like 9 30 that would be very funny yeah on mostly sports yeah you and
ron coomer yeah no we'll come in and hang out for a half hour yeah run up our comments this
shows way better yeah that'll happen yeah that just that happens yeah so you just bring the
sleepover to mostly sports you want to do a sleepover in mostly sports anybody that was
at a sleepover can just host mostly sports the next day works for me speaking of
just like i'm gonna be moving in on mostly sports i i come in just right this second i am dropping
my coat off in our studio um ben mentz is just pacing in my in my studio he was standing in here
so he's done it at least three separate times to my knowledge. Okay, so he...
What's going on?
In our studio.
He very much wants to talk about...
Ole Miss.
Yeah, Nick Saban and how it pertains to Ole Miss.
Yeah.
When we started the show, before we started,
he was just standing here trying to...
Oh, okay.
Is that what...
He also texted me, obviously, around for Yak today
if you need me with Elaine Bamis.
Ah, fuck, I took the bait.
Because we do usually talk about coaching.
Mark, he followed me into the bathroom.
Yeah. Hey, I'm
really coming here to go pee. You start tapping his foot, too?
So we should give him five minutes.
Yeah. Yeah, bring him in. Well, on the phone
call that I overheard him on, he
did say he was going to be on a lot of content
today talking about it.
He said, I'm going to be all over the content.
He booked himself on the act.
The last three weeks in a row,
the third time Red Bear just mentioned
I'm going to be down in Nashville
for the SEC basketball tournament.
I don't want to plan out content too far
in advance. No, you never do.
It's a death sentence.
I think we're going to do some of the Barstool Bar.
A lot of the collectives of Ole Miss.
I'm texting him.
I'm saying, come down at 110,
and we'll do five minutes of Mints content.
Yep.
We'll put a timer up.
He'll just dump his...
I apologize for falling for that.
No, wait, let's give him five minutes,
but he can only go a minute at a time,
and then he has to wait.
Oh, I like that.
I want to have him break it up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just to see what he can do in a minute.
Yeah, and how he can pick up
from the minute right and we go back to conversation yep and then his minute starts after
three minutes of us talking i like that cool i like that did you find the roast beef guy
so there's a 20 second version and a 10 minute version i think you know which one dj
buckle in boys Clear your schedule.
I don't remember how I saw this.
I know it's a guy cutting roast beef at an old buffet,
and he's trying to talk, and I just don't think.
That's all I got, actually.
Is this it?
Oh, this is it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
Have you tried the lasagna?
It's my favorite.
Do that. Oh, I've seen this. Did you catch a game last night? Wow Have you tried the lasagna? It's my favorite
Oh, I've seen this did you catch a game last night?
Do you like hot fudge sundaes
There's just something.
It's the video quality that just makes me nostalgic. It's like that green hue.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's got like a static sound behind it.
Yeah, it's nice.
It makes me feel real good.
Do you like hot fudge sundaes?
You catch the big game last night?
That was like every conversation I've had with Frank.
Yes.
His one word answer is back.
All right. with frank yes one word answer that's back all right oh so are we gonna let him know that he's doing one a minute at a time or every minute or no when the minute strikes we just somebody jump
in and change the subject and no he'll power through that he's yeah unstoppable force we'll
tell him he's got a minute at a time so collect your thoughts and maybe paint a picture i'll text
him that okay it was a jump scare because we were in here before the show started,
and I looked up from my phone, and he was just like right here.
Just pacing.
Because I was thinking how to just cut him off and bring him.
I don't know.
Hey, Nebraska.
Won't work.
Oh.
Nebraska basketball?
Are you in, Will?
Yeah, Nebraska ball.
Are you in now?
Number one team in the country?
But in Purdue, that always happens to them, right?
Yeah, it does.
Oh, yeah.
You're not allowed to be happy about a Purdue upset.
But if you're Nebraska.
You're Nebraska.
We're not ranked.
We're not.
Yeah.
Nebraska's actually good for what it's worth.
Really?
Yeah, that wasn't like that shocking to me.
Yeah.
Let's fucking go.
Yeah.
Nebraska's good.
Nebraska's good.
You're not going to win the Big Ten, but you're. Hoi ball we got some asian cat who's good right yeah tommy naga yeah japanese
guy i do want to apologize because i did give uh titus that win last night and unfortunately the
badgers beat him yeah so i don't even i tried everything i'm very sad the badgers the badgers
were on expert mode they went seven minutes without scoring a basket. Yeah.
Whoa.
Hard to win a game.
Yeah, it is.
Let's see how long we can go without scoring in a game when the point is to score.
Still won.
Yeah.
By like 10.
Yeah.
Yeah, you did. You did, man.
Yeah, we did.
Yeah.
I'm happy for you guys, man.
Yeah.
Your guy's on the hot seat, right?
Is he your guy?
He's a nice guy.
I like hold a lot.
Do you have his phone number?
Yeah, of course.
Yeah.
He's a good dude.
I didn't play for him.
Right.
Yeah.
That's a good way to put it.
I was very sad when it made worse by my guy was that mata and he beat marquette last
night yes so like right as soon as ohio state game ends i flip over to butler and they're winning
and i'm just like fuck me yeah and brandon brandon had a big win last night college basketball
fucking popping off it is yeah the banana who tried to rush the court what oh yeah oh it's so
funny he got arrested.
There was Mississippi State beat Tennessee last night
in Mississippi State, Tennessee's top five.
And there was.1 seconds left,
and this banana just, like, tried to rush.
Look at this.
Yeah, but he got.
The game's still, there's still time left.
There were, like, eight bananas.
Yeah.
It was a group of them.
It was a group of bananas?
Yeah, and I think it was a deal where they were like, let's all go.
This guy goes first, and then his friends just said, ah, fuck it.
Yeah, there were a bunch of them.
Wait, his friends left him?
Yeah, his friends just left him.
Oh, no.
No banana.
Oh, he did stop and put his foot on the ground.
So the first guy went, and the rest of them were just like, man, that sucks for you, dude.
Yeah, then there was a picture.
He's not with us.
I don't know that guy. Yeah, he's like man that sucks for you dude yeah then there was a he's not with us i don't know that guy he's not with us and they had a picture of him getting into the cop car as a banana no yeah brandon tweeted that did anybody see uh rico's tweet this morning no no
no talking about like a egg and bacon sandwich with ketchup and mayonnaise. Oh, I did.
I swear to God, when I sent my reply, this is a damn, that's crazy type of story.
Within 10 seconds of it being sent, he called me.
Oh.
Within 10 seconds.
Really?
Yeah, he goes, what's that mean?
You know when you're at a party and you're trying to get away from a conversation
and somebody tells a story and you're just like, damn, that's crazy.
Yeah.
He's like, oh.
And then we kind of went back and forth for a minute, chuckled.
I'm just thinking.
Did you ratio him?
Yeah, I think he was done.
It was pretty quick.
It feels good to ratio.
That might be a little sensitive to call someone right away.
No.
I swear within 10 or 15 seconds of that tweet landing
damn that's damn that's crazy like i know exactly what it means it's not that crazy
no it's pretending it's crazy did he lead with referencing the tweet or did he first mention
that he's never tried to get you fired and it just came out of nowhere oh yeah i forgot you
guys got a little thing no we don't know Kirk That's the last time Rico called me
It was just like
Rico usually hits me
Probably a couple times a week
Yeah
Yeah
Just FYI I didn't try to get you fired
And I was like I didn't
Good to know
Thank you
Hey thanks bro
Good to know
Alright gotta go
By the way Titus
I can't say what this
what I'm going to refer to, but I'm just going to tell it to Titus.
We got 17 in a row.
I don't want to brag. I'm not bragging.
We're getting there.
Hank, me, Hank, and then I
might have gotten 18.
I got Brandon yesterday.
What do you mean you got Brandon yesterday?
Big Cat got me.
I ratioed you.
Well, you were talking shit.
I ratioed Boston.
Yeah, that was fun.
I mean, I know you're bummed.
Yeah, I'm bummed, so I had to talk some shit back.
I loved it because I also loved that.
That somebody grabbed the still shot because I was looking at that still shot in the video.
I was like, oh, man, we're just boys hugging.
Rainbow got fired because of Will.
TJ, can you find me that
business card guy? Oh, yeah.
10,000 pounds. Yeah, this guy.
This guy's a legend. The old
videos. See the greenies? You're apprehending a business
card. Don't
let that be your apprehension.
Don't let not having the tools
be your trepidation.
These are the gift, the prize.
You don't spend the money until you've made the money.
Was this a Tosh point out there?
And then you only see a percentage of it, and you buy the best quality.
Yeah, it was.
The Web Redemption.
Did I lose you a business card?
Cheap.
Cheap.
Strathmore stock.
60 pound.
Holds a crease.
Can you tear it?
Absolutely.
Looks like crap?
It is crap.
The same size of every other business card in my hand that you guys just gave me.
These aren't even your cards.
That card looks like crap, too.
One color.
Nothing special about it.
Let me see.
What's it say on it?
Name of the company in Atlanta.
It's an agency.
This guy's a CSO. Chief strategic officer. Wow, I'm impressed.
He's an officer. I know companies that are worth $10,000 a year, and the guy's a CEO.
I will never make a criticism if I don't have a resolution. You see that card?
It's huge.
This is the most impressive business card I've ever seen.
It's mine.
It took me 25 years to design it.
This card is expensive.
It's about $4 a card because of the stock.
It doesn't fit in a Rolodex because it doesn't belong in a Rolodex.
It's the kind of thing where your card should be so good that even if they don't like you, they won't throw it out.
Because it demonstrates incredible marketing.
Oh!
Life is not about being liked.
It's about being effective.
My card is die-cut.
My card is foil-stamped.
My card is embossed.
Crowds guaranteed.
My card, instead of telling you that I'm a CEO,
because who cares about my title,
tells you about the result I generate.
He's doing arts and crafts.
I build crowds.
Guaranteed.
What do you do?
Guaranteed.
He's incredible.
That guy's an animal.
He just keeps on unfolding.
That's so inconvenient.
Music gets louder, he gets louder.
25 years.
Took me to...
Guy's been doing nothing with his life but building a business card.
That took me 25...
Full time.
25 years.
What does it say on the inside?
Just like, took 25 years to build this business card.
Wait, we should all have business cards.
It doesn't belong in a Rolodex.
Even if you don't like me, you won't throw it out.
That's true.
I'd be like, look at this fucking goof.
Yeah, look at this fucking guy.
Actually, what would actually happen is I would try to put it in my wallet, and it wouldn't fit.
And I'd be like, fuck this business card.
I'm throwing this shit away.
I'm done with this shit.
That card is crap.
You got to appreciate the passion that all those business professionals had back then.
Yeah, he is like a genuine Gary Vee back in the day.
There was no Instagram.
There was no TikTok.
You can't motivate.
That was just his one shot.
What do you do, Gary?
Yeah, I'm not sure he's trying to make money off of that.
No.
That's just what he truly believes.
He's not a grifter at all.
He's just like, this is who I am at core which is he was doing it for the love of the
game he wasn't trying to sell you he builds crowds yeah it was art guaranteed yeah you know how like
restaurants you you can drop a business card to win a free lunch you gotta go like he has that
for free everywhere what do you you can't avoid that guarantee guarantee I want a bigger one that guy's
all making it oh shit Hank just texted
me so we're gonna do at two o'clock Nick
and I are doing Dungeons and Dragons
with our guy Tim Woods who's a legend if
you haven't met him he's the greatest
dude ever Hank just said yak challenge
Tim Woods yes we're gonna have to do it
I might have to leave this early because
I have to get my makeup done what? for Dungeons and Dragons
oh you're George Washington
so you're just getting white face?
yes
we don't have Malicek
oh
that's fine he's on the vid
he has COVID?
he has COVID?
the fuck? all our boys are going down
he also is just a pussy though so he might just have a little sniffle.
Yeah.
He's the guy that hypes up his sickness.
He's like, I can't get out of bed.
Yeah.
He's probably down in Florida taking pictures in a fucking golf cart.
Probably doing weird shit with his dog right now.
Easily.
Yeah.
Yeah, he loves that dog a little too much.
He's racist.
Who is?
His dog?
His dog is racist?
Who did he go after?
Our boy.
Zah, what?
Oh, my God.
Every time Zah comes down the hallway, the dog starts screaming.
Almost ate me alive.
Screaming?
Almost swallowed me alive.
The dog doesn't bark that much, but when Zah comes around, it's like a problem.
What the fuck?
One of the swallow me hole.
Malasek.
Well, it's used to swallowing Malasek whole.
Wait, let's bring the dog in here and Za one day, and let's settle this shit.
Yeah.
Like men.
Yeah.
Za, you cool with that?
Yeah, I'll give him the business.
Fucking fight it, yeah.
We should do dog fighting.
Yeah.
But it's just dog versus human.
Right.
That's allowed.
Yeah, we should do this on Monday. Yeah. But it's just dog versus human. Right. That's allowed.
Yeah, we should do this on Monday.
I think that would be great to have.
Dog fight. Zah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Monday would be a great day for it, right?
To have Zah.
Set it up as an actual dog fight.
I'll still be dressed like George Washington.
You think there's dogs in the kennels, and then Zod just comes out.
Just starts beating up the dog.
Still Mincy could do that for the re-premiere.
That's how Wake Up Mincy opens.
Zod's fighting a dog in a rink.
Nick brought up a good point, Titus.
We are going to do a yak on Monday.
I have my costume.
Oh, okay.
All right, great.
I have my costume.
It's shocking.
Also not a surprise at all.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah, the dog fight.
Wake Up Mincy is just a dog fighting show.
Wake Up Mincy should just become like bum fights.
You need to ask him about his schedule coming up for Wake Up Mincy.
Well, we'll get to it in minute increments.
Yeah, it's shocking.
What do you mean?
The show's coming.
I don't want to spoil his business.
I'm not going to let him do the show in the same spot.
Okay.
I think every time he gets canceled and has to relaunch,
he has to do it in a different place.
That's fair.
He's going to run out of places.
Yes. Yes. Is he coming? I's going to run out of places. Yes.
Yes. Is he coming?
I thought he was coming on the show. 110.
It's 105.
Can we find him somewhere in the building on the cameras?
I guarantee you he's pacing on the phone.
I didn't tell him that he was doing one minute increments because I figured I didn't want him to prepare too much.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
I want scrambled brain Mincy.
I think you might get it.
His sources have been bad.
His sources have been bad.
He said Dan Lanning was not going to be Alabama,
or was going to Alabama,
and Dan Lanning put out a video being like,
I haven't left Eugene.
I don't know what everyone's talking about.
He probably re-leveraged up against Oregon.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Did you guys see the...
I'll send it to you, TJ.
It was such a good agent-in-work moment.
Hold on, let me find it.
Pete Thamel, who writes for ESPN,
was like, as soon as Saban left,
he did a,
okay, here's the buyouts for every coach that could be considered for the Alabama job.
And then two minutes later, he edited the tweet.
Hold on, I'm going to find it.
It's such a funny, the agent called right away and was like, hold on a second.
Yeah, get our guy in the mix.
Yeah.
Anybody got any illusions?
Hey, here it is.
Here.
Buyouts for potential Alabama head coaches.
Look at this.
James Franklin agent saw this and called him right away and was like, hey, my guy's got a buy. Like, why are we not on this list?
It's so transparent.
There's a 0% chance Alabama would hire James Franklin.
Like, hey, we got to get it.
What about James Franklin?
Yeah, because they're not going to hire him because his buyout is $10 million.
That's why they're not going to hire him.
That's way too much for otherwise.
Otherwise, they would have.
James Franklin leads the league in getting his name in coaching job offers
that were never going to happen.
Remember he was USC for a while?
Yeah.
Feels like every time there's an opening.
It's kind of a good place to be, though.
Yeah.
Just be in the mix.
Just always be in the mix.
USC?
No, just kind of like your name in the mix.
You want your name in the mix.
Who is James Franklin's agent?
I think it's Jimmy Sexton.
Oh, he's one of the big guys.
Jimmy Sexton.
That's a good name.
That's a very good agent name.
Yeah.
Jimmy is like a good name for an agent.
Who's a horse racing, like sharp?
Yeah.
Who's Fickle's agent?
I don't know, actually.
Dude, I've been trying to find it because he represents Rule,
and I met him the other night.
I just can't remember his name.
You can't remember his name?
Uh-uh.
I'm not bad at the name remembering.
Yeah, you are.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah, who's his name?
Come on, Walter.
Pete?
Yeah.
Pretty good. Good job. Mooks? Kind of on, Walter. Pete? Yeah. Pretty good.
Good job.
Mooks.
Kind of look like a...
Connor.
Mooks.
You kind of look like a...
Mooks.
I can pass for Pete, yeah.
Stu thought Meek Phil was Mook.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Stu thought Jack McCarthy was Austin.
Stu thought Meek Phil was me as well.
Yeah.
Stu thought Jack McCarthy was Austin.
I had him plan an entire pizza review with Jack McCarthy.
That's great.
Yeah.
That's great yeah it was great
it's the whole setting and everything it's at a time place and then I was like
Stu that's not Austin you made me look like a fool mine was when Meekville kicked the back of
Frank's chair during the Mets I walked into the office and I was just like you don't do that to
Frank yeah what yeah that was. That was a tough moment.
I actually told Nikki Smokes that because I was like, hey, you're going to be in war
on Saturday night watching the Dolphins.
Do not kick Frank.
Don't kick Frank.
It's the one rule.
Well, Frank's got security around him now.
Yeah.
Thank God we got that.
Oh, yeah.
Smokes is about to get fucked up if he tries anything.
I'm nervous.
So Frank's coming.
I don't know how long he's staying and it's going to be very cold next week.
Maybe he'll just do the gym.
His walks?
Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah.
He's a warrior, though.
He doesn't take days off.
Yeah, he could go to-
He's lost a good amount of weight, yeah?
A ton.
A ton of weight.
Good for him.
He could go to a mall.
Yeah.
Funny.
Frank's just walking around the mall.
Frank's lost so much weight, we're going to find another person that just crawls out of him.
Yeah, I don't know where all that weight went.
Just a guy hiding under there the entire time.
He looks great.
I'm excited to see him.
I miss Frank.
I do too.
Will he be at the Super Bowl?
Yeah.
Yeah, because of trivia.
Oh, yeah.
Who's squad traveling to the Super Bowl from Barstool this year?
Everybody here
I'm going yeah
Are you
I got
I got confirmation
I don't know if I'm going
Am I not supposed to say that
Why'd you do this Will
Oh really
I'm probably not going
I bet
I bet
Tell the Barstool employees
I don't know if you're going
That's my fault
No no no
He's gonna run the fort
Oh shit
Gonna be a great week here
it will be
fuck you Will
damn Will
it's okay guys
have fun without me
well no
new year's resolution
you gotta
for Super Bowl week
Roan has to come
for the Yak trivia
oh yeah
so Roan's gonna be
with us that week
I'm sorry Mook
it's okay
you're the new Sass
Sass never got to I'm gonna, Mook. It's okay. You're the new Sass. Sass never got together.
I'm going to play Warzone
for five days straight.
High Noon Ed. Yes.
Good one.
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Just in time.
Ben Mintz.
Mintzy, get on in here.
And I was thinking, too, the other day, Mark,
you need to change your Twitter name.
Yeah?
That's just my personal opinion.
Why?
Is it Mark the Shark?
Club Trillion's confusing.
No, Club Trillion's great.
Your Instagram name stinks.
Club Trillion confuses me.
Why?
It took me a minute to realize.
I was like, oh, that's Mark.
Well, I started, I was on Twitter when it was still like, when Twitter started, it wasn't
for individuals.
That was like a dorky move to like be, it was like Darren Ovelle and everybody else was like like mcdonald's and pringles and shit yeah so club trillion was
like the brand of my blog so that's so i started it as like that makes sense or just as my blog
twitter account which i ran and then i just kind of stuck with it i think that's a cool name
yeah then there's no brand synergy over to Instagram.
Instagram was not supposed to be public
and then that got fucked up.
Yeah.
So that was definitely the right move, the blogging.
But I think now that you're expanding in the...
I've thought about it.
Well, and everyone thinks...
Bigger audiences, newer audiences.
If people are like, yo, this Mark guy rips,
like Club Trillion is kind of hard to figure out.
Like, oh, that's Mark Titus.
I thought about this.
I see Club Trillion.
I'm like, Tony Snell?
Yeah.
Oh, this is Mark.
I thought this was a black guy.
Tony Snell did do it in like 24 minutes, I think.
Yeah.
You got a trillion.
Yeah.
The difference is the trillion.
Oh, I guess it would be a 24 trillion.
24 trillion. Yeah. The difference is the trillion. Oh, I guess it would be a 24 trillion. 24 trillion, yeah.
The trillion is something that's good.
I think Tony Snell is a bad thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The trillion is, yeah, one.
The trillion is like.
Zeros.
Yeah.
Have you ever?
You're probably right.
Well, I need to change it, but I didn't.
I don't know.
I'm in too deep.
Because every time I want to, someone like Nick comes along.
He's like, no, man, that's cool.
I think it is cool.
Yeah.
Yeah. I truly mean it in like a positive, out-looking.
I agree.
I agree with you.
Your branding.
I agree.
Barstool Mark.
Barstool Mark, yeah.
Barstool.
Barstool Mark.
Barstool Mark.
Viva Mark.
Just do Stool Mark.
Stool Mark.
Stool Mark.
Stool Mark. Just do Stuhlmark. Stuhlmark. Stuhlmark. Stuhlmark.
That's a good one.
That's a good one.
Be Stuhlmark.
Stuhlmark's a good one.
Stuhlmark.
That's my boy Stuhlmark.
Yo, Stuhlmark.
Shit, as he lives in the room.
A nickname was born.
Yeah, that's good.
Stuhlmark.
Yours is Will Compton?
Yeah, underscore Will Compton because there was somebody that had the Will Compton.
I was trying to get it.
So what should I do?
I should just do Mark Titus?
Maybe MFT.
Wait, did you get it?
Yeah, be MFT.
MFT.
That sounds sick.
That's fucking cool, dude.
No, because I basically just uniformed it with Instagram and other stuff.
Yeah, there was a just big cat, and it was like a dude in Sweden that just posted pictures of tigers.
That's cool.
You can't take that from him.
No.
He's putting that to better use.
Yeah.
There also was a big cat on Instagram that hank and i used to follow it was just like a it's like a 14 year old kid that like
would just post every time i got a concussion in football that's kind of sick it was like yeah a
selfie he's just like trying to stay positive about my concussion wait what does that guy
up to today i don't know he might have been the real big cat yo that's awesome just being like yeah
i'm fucked up right now yeah like yeah it really was just just a selfie in the mirrors i'll stay
positive about my question i gotta try to find him this light is hurting my head yeah all right
mincey i had somebody steal after after the last year's misunderstanding. I changed from Barstool Mitzi to Brick Watch Mitzi,
and this Ole Miss law kid stole Barstool Mitzi and tried to blackmail me with it.
What was the –
Stet said, I'll give you Barstool Mitzi back if you send me a Brick Watch.
And then I met him in public at a Pelicans game a couple months ago.
He was trying to be friendly, but I had some thoughts for him.
Oh, you gave him some –
I was like, dude, I mean, like you you're supposed to be an Ole Miss friend of mine,
and you're trying to blackmail me for a brick watch.
I don't know.
I mean, I guess you shoot or shoot, though.
Yeah.
All right, so, Mincy, here's what we're going to do.
What are we going to do?
We want to hear everything that you got on your mind.
Okay.
We're going to do it in one-minute increments.
Do you need anybody to take care of the time?
Do you want me to start to go back from yesterday?
It's completely in your control.
It's whatever you want. You get one minute to tell us everything
then we stop.
We'll talk about something different
and then we'll come back to the one minute.
So you've got to try to keep your train of thought.
Okay, do you want me
to start with yesterday or do you want me to start
with right now? It's your five minutes.
It's you. You get five minutes. So it's whatever you minutes you you get five minutes so it's whatever you want you get five one minutes five
one minutes okay whatever you want all right you want to put the timer hold on you're five sets of
one all right the first wait wait okay ready go okay yesterday uh i'm getting railed on from my
source thing i wasn't wrong about yesterday they did bama did target dan lanning he was their number one target i saw i heard
saban had a list that was dan lanning one lane two
domico ron's three they thought they were going to get lanning
and there were rumors he was in tuscaloosa last night i thought he was i
don't know if he was who knows did you report it
yeah maybe yeah i think he was though i don't know
anyway the point is is that they were really the Bama boosters were all in on
landing, and then he spurned them this morning when he went back to fill night
and Oregon's got all that Big Ten money, and he decided to stay at Oregon.
So that's kind of caused a little bit of a state of confusion.
So Jimmy Sexton, the superpower house agent who represents all the top coaches
currently in the Bama facility, represents Lane, Kirby Smart,
and Kalen DeBoer from Washington.
In the last hour or two, I'm hearing Kalen DeBoer's name a ton.
Saban tried to hire the Washington OC last offseason.
I'm also maybe being delusional because I don't want to link up.
That's my first minute.
That's your first minute.
With time to spare.
That was great.
All I caught was you got railed.
Yeah, you did get railed.
What did you say to the guy that took your handle?
Now, take
these questions and wait
for the minute.
Were you guys ever into
the Halloween cereal?
Like Boo-Berry? Sure was, yeah.
Count Chocula.
What was the other one?
Frankenberry and Boo-Berry.
I think there was one more.
That came late? A think it was called it
was something i would the fruit brute really the fruit brute i think there was fruit brute i would
uh save the uh clip the coupons and then i got like a free tea one year i was so into it which
one did you get it was white and spilled chocolate milk on it on the second day yeah what yeah it
was tough wait count chocolate though I I never got
into it it's too much
that was the first one
but then you once you
experience like
boo-berry and
frankenberry the back
of the box on those
what if what a
brand back of the
box yeah best Dan
can you can you
handle cereal as I've
gotten older I like
can you eat a handle
like handle like like
can you your body
stomach it can you can you eat a big ass handle? Like, like, can you your body stomach it?
Can you can you eat a big ass thing of fruity pebbles without not eating your pants?
Not those not like sugary, super sugary.
But with kids, I'm back to like eating way too much cereal.
I've never ate cereal for probably about 15 years of my life.
All my kids do is like, well, I'll make dinner.
They'll be like, I actually want cereal.
Every night.
Hey, dude, you've got to be so happy eating cereal again.
Oh, yeah.
Cereal rules.
I can't eat.
Yeah, I've recently learned that Frosted Mini Wheats just fuck me up.
Oh.
It's sad.
I love Frosted Mini Wheats.
It's a very sad old man realization.
You know what I do is I do Frosted Mini Wheats and Honey Nut Cheerios combined.
I think that's sick and gross.
Why?
Yeah.
Are you saying that?
I feel like you're saying that from a place of anybody who mixes their cereals.
You kind of look at it.
Oh, I love mixing cereals.
I agree.
Yeah.
Or I'll do Chex and Frosted Mini Wheats.
I like to mix.
Yeah.
There are mixes that don't necessarily go, but I do love to try.
You'll experiment?
Yeah, I like to experiment experiment the mixes are great because like frosted mini wheats is a good cereal but it's like it's kind of a lot yeah but you're not going to cocoa pebble and fruity pebble you're
not going to dual pebble oh no i would never do a pebble i'm not a psycho i don't know what would
happen i think the hard part when you do mix is ultimately you have to decide which milk you want
then you realize you're like
okay this was fun for a moment but i wanted this milk yeah you know what i mean wise words yes
you guys you guys you guys fun for a moment you know what this has been fun for a moment
do you guys but i must return i want this milk ah lass
yeah i love regular that's that's what i mean i've realized i've gotten old like i this milk. Ah, lass. Do you guys fuck with regular Cheerios?
Yeah. I love regular Cheerios.
That's what I mean. I've realized I've gotten old.
I gravitate to Rice Krispies and
regular Cheerios and Wheaties and Raisin Bran.
And I hate that about myself, but
Apple Jacks fuck me up.
Yeah. I go regular.
I know, dude. It's sad.
It's kind of soft, too.
I mean, I still do do it it's just like i
yeah i don't know i i i eat a ton of frosted mini imagine shitting my brains out yeah and i'm like
mini wheats will do that this sucks dude yeah imagine turning down those cereals and because
it's like oh these upset my tummy yeah oh yeah well i don't turn them down i just shit my brains
out the next day like a dog eating chocolate you know it's gonna hurt you i still do it yeah now with the
regular cheerios you throw sugar in there yeah no no i go sliced banana sliced strawberries that's
real that's a real old move and it's banana in the cereal is top tier no it's so good strawberries
incredible even blueberries now we're getting that's good for antioxidants yeah No, it's not, man. Strawberries, incredible. Even blueberries.
Now we're getting crazy. That's good for antioxidants. Yeah.
It's an elite try. It's good to know that that does happen
because on those boxes, they'll have like fruit in them
and I'm just thinking like, why would you put fruit in them?
Right. You gotta add the fruit. P-Y-O fruit.
Father time will come for you, Will.
Should we give Mince his other minute? Yeah, okay.
I don't know. Any questions for Mince that he needs
to address? I would just like to say
how were you at all right about Dan Lennon?
Because he feels like you were so wrong.
Also, are we starting? Sorry.
Tim Woods.
I think the blackmail situation.
Yeah, come sit down. Sit down.
Tim Woods is here. The legend himself.
You're on the clock. You're on the clock.
So, Tim, just to give you a heads up.
You're on the clock, Mincey.
Wait, no, no. We haven't started the clock.
Mincey is an Ole Miss fan.
There's a lot going on right now because nick saban might go to old miss we're giving mincy a
minute time to tell the story of what's going on in his life but it's five minute five increments
of one minute i'm also curious your thoughts on the serial conversation we just had yeah we'll
come back to it all right go ahead mincy ready set go okay uh i'm all over the place. All right. So the Dan Lanning thing, I was right that they would target him.
He just took more money.
Look, the situation changed.
They went after him.
He was the guy they targeted.
He went back to Oregon.
He used his leverage.
He got a bag of money from Phil Knight from Nike
and the Big Ten TV network deal they got.
And, I mean, that's capitalism at its finest.
So I thought he was going there, but he was their target.
I heard that changed Bama into a little bit of a chaotic situation.
You know, I saw some stuff that, I mean, I've seen all kinds of rumors.
Mike Norvell's name got mentioned.
I don't know that I believe that.
The Kalen DeBoer is the one I'm really watching
because Saban tried to hire their offensive coordinator,
Ryan Grubb, last offseason.
He said no, and then they went and got Notre Dame's Tommy Reese.
So I feel like that means they've got some kind of an eye on the Washington program am I being delusional am I
concerned yes I'm at like a seven and a half let's say seconds on the panic meter but not why why the
five I just it would be a very Ole Miss thing to get to this point because of Lane Kiffin yeah
okay good job now Mincy because everything's going on right now,
like, is your phone blowing up?
Yes.
Like, I've had two or three no-caller ID calls
in the last three minutes.
Well, pick up, dude.
If you're in the source game.
No, you could step away.
Okay.
You could step away.
Okay, I feel like.
No, I'm saying, like, if you're in the source game,
you're in the source game. Okay. All right, if you're in the source game, you're in the source game.
Okay.
All right, Tim Woods is here.
Hey, everybody.
Hi, Tim.
Move the mic closer to your mouth, Tim.
Absolutely.
Yes.
Yeah, there it is.
You're a delight.
Tim's the best.
Tim rules.
Good to be here.
A lot of good energy.
Hey, Greg, how's it going?
Hey, big cat.
Oh, yeah.
We're Greg.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Great to see you.
Great to see you.
And he's elusive.
This is Will.
Greg with two Gs. Absolutely. So what see you. Great to see you. And he's elusive. This is Will. Greg with two Gs.
Absolutely.
So what's up, Tim?
It's been good.
It's been very, very good.
Yeah.
Thanks for having me here.
Yes.
You look great.
Absolutely appreciate it.
Thanks so much.
Yeah.
Now, Tim, do you want to do the act challenge?
I had it explained to me, and I'm pretty sure I could get the worst time here potentially.
No.
I think that could
possibly happen so i'd be down to try fuck yes all right all right we will try in a few minutes
i am in my larping gear so why not absolutely hell yeah i love it yeah it's great that you're here
so wait yeah what was the ask tim the cereal question which question did i ask i'm a big
cereal fan like breakfast cereal yeah okay. We dove into a lot of –
Your initial one, the –
Oh, were you a big-time fan of the Halloween cereals?
Oh, I feel like I didn't get those when I was younger.
I feel like we had the healthy cereal, and I just, like, was always looking through the window at those, like, really good Halloween cereals.
Yeah.
I, like, never got them.
Also, your parents ran the house.
Oh, 100%.
Yeah, absolutely. Irish Catholic family, like, we just did, yeah, whatever. halloween cereals yeah like never got so your parents ran the house oh 100 yeah absolutely
irish catholic family like we just did yeah whatever i i used to not get the sugar cereals
in my house but then when we'd go on vacation i'd get them really yeah a little treat and now you
you got the place to be at because being able to eat cereal for dinner or at nighttime is like
that's the friend's house you want to go yeah. Oh, yeah. And I got all sugar cereal. Yeah. My kids can eat whatever the fuck. I just want them to eat.
Yeah.
I don't give a fuck.
Yeah.
Mincy, what's going on?
Oh, no.
Let's start the clock.
Give them another minute.
The shoes go crazy.
All right.
That was a source on Bama's campus who said they just – I don't know that I'm taking this too seriously,
but Bill O'Brien was spotted on campus.
Whoa.
That makes sense.
But they wouldn't hire him to be the head coach.
Why not?
You think?
He was a really good coach for the Texans.
He obviously took Penn State out of the darkness.
Yeah.
He's been at Bama.
No, I know he was the OC for Bryce Young.
I don't know.
Anyway, he said he's spotted on campus and that that was kind of a thing, but I still don't – I don't know that anyway he said he spotted on campus and that that was kind of a thing but i
still don't i don't know that i'm biting on that one i don't i feel like bill bryan like it would
be a little bit outside the box but it definitely no but i mean he knows it i mean he just was there
and he did you know he got bryce young to be the number one pick somehow which looking back on it
seems like an incredible coaching job that's a fact uh yeah so that that's the latest I heard but that was a guy that's on
Bama's camp and Belichick's out yeah yeah and Belichick's out so but yeah that's the latest
I heard I'm just here I'm hearing all 10 seconds I'm hearing so much my head's like swimming this
is crazy who do you think it's gonna be I think I mean I think the bower makes the most sense right
now yeah but you're saying that because you don't want Lane to leave. Damn right. Yeah. Time.
You're crushing it, Mincy.
You ready for your next minute when we get more stuff?
Always.
Are the shoes too big to fill?
Why is it?
It's not worth it.
What if they could just never find somebody?
Yeah, I mean, but they'll just pay someone a shitload of money. Everyone, all, Will can obviously talk to this a lot better than I can,
but I'm under the assumption that if you are a head coach,
whether it be college football or pro football, you're a psycho,
and you also always think, like, there's someone out there right now
who thinks, like, I could actually do better than Saban.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, it's definitely a job you want
because you're in bama like you get all the best recruits right the best yeah has dion been thrown
around yet or no i've seen some people throw do you the only thing you address that when we get
to it i've seen dion's name be thrown around but i don't know i feel like that's that would be that
would be awesome pretty crazy for alabama to take dion yeah i'd love to see it it would be awesome. Pretty crazy for Alabama to take Deion.
Yeah.
I'd love to see it.
It'll be awesome.
Yeah.
But, yeah, there's coaches definitely.
You think he'd leave Colorado?
He's going to eventually.
What are you doing?
Getting something.
What are you doing?
I'm just getting something.
Just getting something.
Are you getting a video or a picture?
Let him create.
Yeah, come on, man.
What do we do?
We're at Barstool.
We're at fucking Barstool.
We got Stuhlmark over here.
We got Stuhlmark.
Stuhlmark.
I'm creating content that does numbies.
Man.
All right, let's go.
Let's do another minute.
Yeah?
All right.
Yeah.
I'm feeling good, Mincy.
Okay.
Tell me where to start.
Go.
All right, the Dion thing, I don't think there's any chance of Bama,
but if Bama looked at Mike Norvell and Norvell went from Florida State to Bama,
Deion being the Florida State guy, Florida State would look at him.
Good point.
That's actually realistic because he's obviously a Florida State guy
and that's been his dream job.
He's been outspoken about that forever.
So that's the Deion thing.
Norvell's name came up on some stuff I looked at at Bama,
but at one point I saw that he was a name that kept coming up.
It would be an exit point for Florida State right now
after all their guys left and they went undefeated.
Just don't know if I see Bama necessarily going that direction.
And like I said, I re-mentioned the Jimmy Sexton thing.
He represents all the top coaches.
Him being in there right now is very, very relevant
with Lane, Kirby, and Kalen DeBoer.
I mean, I keep hearing – I also heard some stuff from some good sources that bama wouldn't even consider lane
because of 10 seconds he kind of you know it ended real bad with him getting fired before the playoff
and maybe he kind of burned it down on the way out a little bit i don't know any details so
that's a factor he may have some collateral damage until he's passed. That was 2016. You crushed that.
Yeah, that was.
You crushed that.
So basically all the best football coaches could be candidates.
Correct.
Yeah.
Or not.
Also correct.
Wow.
Jimmy fucking Sext.
You're wrong.
You're wrong, Jimmy.
Harbaugh, Mike Vrabel?
Urban Meyer?
There's no way Harbaugh would go to Vama.
No.
Belichick?
Belichick?
No.
You don't want to go from the NFL.
If you're an NFL head coach and you want to stay in the NFL, you do not want to go at all to recruiting.
Yeah, you have to be so bad at coaching that you get forced back to college.
Like, uh...
Yes, I... Matt Rule. Yeah. to be so bad at coaching that you get forced back to college like uh yes that rule yeah that was just the first name that came to my mind
don't disrespect
just throwing names out there that would be one of them yes and no if he was successful in carolina
he would never want to go back to college.
Well, hang on.
Carolina should have been a longer, he should have had more time at Carolina.
Okay.
I mean, you look at the ownership there.
Like, what's happened?
It's a problem.
It's very volatile.
What happened after Matt Ruhle left?
Nothing.
Nothing.
They fired the next guy.
Middle of the year.
You're right.
You're right.
Mincy's working the phone right now.
But there are coaches who enjoy the collegiate aspect a little bit more yeah okay um
mincy why don't we do your final minute and then why don't we have you do the act challenge to show
tim woods how it's done okay and then we'll and then we'll have tim do it and then we'll on the
show because we're gonna go tape dungeon dragons oh You want me to go make up up right now?
Yeah, you can go make up up.
Okay.
Okay, Mincy, this is your closing argument.
Okay.
Give him a minute and a half.
All right.
Okay, I'll move this.
Okay, a couple of quick updates.
I'm being told by my source my panic meter should go down.
I don't know what that means, so that could be good.
Start the clock, TJ.
Glenn Schumann, the Georgia defensive coordinator under Kirby, has a flight from athens to tuscaloosa
today i'm being told i can't imagine they're not gonna hire the georgia defensive coordinator
though that's i mean i know he's in that tree but like you're alabama you're not hiring a guy that
hasn't been a head coach i don't buy that yeah that that can't happen uh so i mean i'm still
concerned i mean obviously because if lane gets offered alabama you're leaving in 0.3 seconds i'm Yeah. That can't happen. So, I mean, I'm still concerned.
I mean, obviously, because if Lane gets offered Alabama,
you're leaving in.3 seconds.
I'm not – you know, I mean, I'm a pretty unrealistic guy,
but, like, Ole Miss is like a top 20, top 25 job,
and you're getting offered the top two or top three or number one one.
So, you can't – you know, so that obviously gives me a lot of concern.
But I'm feeling better and better with each passing minute
because I'd heard – everything I'd heard yesterday was Lane was number two behind Lanning.
So when Lanning, I already turned it down.
I mean, that was when the panic meter went from six to eight and a half.
But, you know, now I'm hearing all kinds of stuff.
I'm talking myself into DeBoer with Saban.
I was hiring that offensive coordinator last year,
then making the title game.
Not sure if he has many Southeast ties, though.
I'm not sure if he has SEC ties, which is concerning.
You don't think a coordinator gets a job i just don't know how alabama is gonna hire a court promote a
coordinator but some of these coordinators you get in a room and you they wow like mcveigh shouldn't
have been hired now he was basically going on his first run when he went to the rams and then
obviously won a super bowl but he was just making his first run at like head coaching interviews
just to get in the uh just to get in the circuit.
But he wowed the Rams so much that they didn't let him leave the room.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, my thing, like I said, the Saban smart tree is such a strong tree and obviously Lanning's on that.
They may want to stay.
With it being such a sudden thing.
Time's up, Vincent.
That's all right.
No, give extra time.
With it being such a sudden thing and you've got –
so when Saban announces he's leaving,
the Bama players have 30 days to enter the transfer portal.
They're in panic mode to get somebody in there to keep that roster together.
That's the new world.
They already lost the number three receiver,
number nine overall high school player decommitted this morning,
a wide receiver from Alabama.
So they're in, like, really panic mode to keep your roster together
in this crazy new world.
Also, forgot to mention Dabo Sweeney.
Everybody always assumed he might be the guy to take over because he went to bama
he has screwed himself the way he's handled nil on the transfer yes he has just completely
not handled modern football i don't think he's being considered because uh you know and he makes
like 14 million a year and didn't he say college players shouldn't get paid yeah and that's a very
conflicting message quick counterpoint about the the. If you hire Lane, Lane will just gut the Ole Miss roster.
Right.
Yeah, that's a concern because Lane would just,
especially with the way they killed the portal,
he'd just bring them all to family.
Right, he'd just bring them all with him.
You're right about, like, damage control
or wanting to hire somebody, but at the same time,
it's like you shouldn't panic just.
No, you're Alabama.
So where's your current, finally.
Yeah, where's your current meter?
My current meter went from 8.5 to 7 to 7.5 right now.
Still concerned.
8.5 to 7 to 7.5.
Well, 7 or 7.5.
At least 7.5.
It was at 7 before you said it.
It was at 6 last night.
6.
And then it went to 8.5.
Wait, give us the whole Saban's announced gone.
I immediately was very concerned.
So what would number?
7.5. And then it went to six it went to six because everything i heard was landing was the guy and i thought he'd
take it and then it went to eight and a half when you when you tweeted because i heard some landing
was staying stuff from some like accounts that look shady but then when that 24-7 guy matt zinitz
did you yeah it'll be a minty source that was That was when we jumped to eight and a half. Eight and a half.
Now you've come back down.
Yeah, and then I called my top Ole Miss guy,
and he calmed me down saying that they didn't talk about it.
They felt good about it from the high end.
So now you're at seven and a half.
Seven and a half, yeah.
Quiggs, can you please make a graphic just so people can see the panic meter
and how it's gone over the time?
I like that.
Favorite right now is DeBoer, though.
I'd say that's my favorite.
I would love to get Tim's thoughts on what he thinks we're talking about.
I'm getting less than 1% of this, but I know all the locations we've mentioned.
Florida, Alabama, I know all those places are.
I am caught up on that.
Do a D&D campaign of a college football coaching search.
Absolutely.
All the characters that
enter the picture tim does i mean he he's the best in the business yeah when we do dnd he he
works into characters yeah we had uh was ed o was one of the characters yeah absolutely sir oh
do you know who won the national title
a football team i bet yeah same i also don't know tim
all right so mincy you ready to do it okay i've only done it once so can we have all right so
yeah the refresher is you got to shoot uh the cornhole bag okay make one you got to go score a
goal okay got to hit the wiffle ball i remember i remember i almost broke my foot hitting the
cornhole board running last time,
and it was three days in front of that half marathon.
I was, like, concerned.
I almost knocked myself out of the race.
I remember that as well.
But I'm a tough SOB.
You're a tough SOB.
Hit a home run with the wiffle ball,
and then you've got to throw a football and hit one of those body armor bottles.
Then I come in and answer trivia.
Then you've got to shoot a three-pointer, shoot a three-pointer,
then come in and answer trivia. So make two three-pointers? Yeahinter, shoot a three-pointer, then come in and answer trivia.
So make two three-pointers?
Yeah, you got to make one here, one there.
Stephen Che will walk you through it.
Okay.
Stephen Che will be with you to tell you where to go.
Okay, I think I did three and a half minutes last time.
It wasn't the best performance.
Yeah, we have it all.
So, yeah, we'll do it.
All right.
All right.
Come on, Mincy.
You got this.
You got this.
Let's go, Mincy....the first three if you need from that spot.
Okay, so cornhole, soccer... We got Connor Griffin and Nett.
...baseball.
Baseball, wiffle ball, hitting it out there.
I wonder if he's going to be as feisty as Mouse.
Probably not.
...and then throw a football to knock one of the guys.
I'm so excited for our D&D campaign, Tim.
So excited.
It's going to be a good one.
How long do those go for?
Usually about two hours to try to keep it.
Yeah, three hours.
Yeah.
Nice. We're doing this one in front of the green screen, too.
We're going to get all the graphics.
These are my favorite PMC episodes.
These are my favorite by far.
The green screen and the graphics make it so cool.
So cool.
I was excited as everybody else when that last episode came out,
and I got to see the ogre and everything in all their glory.
It was incredible.
So, yeah, that will come the Friday after Super Bowl because we'll be on vacation.
Okay.
Ready, Mincy?
No, you don't pick it up until I say go.
Three, two, one, go.
All right, here he goes.
Oh, no.
A little more urgency, Mincy.
Here we go, Mince
Come on, Mince
He's cooked
You can pick up all the bags if you want
There you go, Mince
Alright, there we go
Oh, he's going with the far blue ball
Nope
Che, get the balls for him
Yeah score the goal
But once you take the three shots Tim
You can shoot any of the balls from any place
So you can go really close
And we'll help you get the ball
I literally thought I had to just kick a soccer ball
And that was enough of a challenge
Get in there Mincy
Get closer Get closer.
Get close.
Get closer.
Get closer.
Mincy said his last run was three minutes.
Oh, come on, Mincy.
Yeah, and Steven will help you along.
And don't worry, Tim.
We also have some mercy rules.
We're not going to let you just look bad.
Appreciate it.
Thank you.
Oh, there we go.
There we go.
I'd like my absolutely reel to be longer than the number of shots.
Yes.
I hope they hire a new head coach while Mincy is doing this.
Oh, that'd be great.
What does he have to hit?
He's got to just hit a ball over this room.
Oh, jeez. That was a hot one. Will just did not look up. What does he have to hit? He's got to just hit a ball over this room. Whoa.
That was a hot one.
Will just did not look up.
That ball almost hit you in the face. That was pretty cold, Will.
Come on, Mincy.
You got this, Mincy.
You got this, Mincy.
The key for the ball is you don't have to swing that hard.
Right at stool mark.
Where does he have to get it?
He's just got to get it over this room
Let's go Ben
It doesn't have to go over the balcony
It just has to hit
Nice snag
Oh man
Yes
Count it
Football
First try
And then you have to just come back Come on Mincy Football. Then you throw the football. First try. First try. Get the bottle. First try.
And then you have to just come back and get it. Oh, shit.
Come on, Mincy.
He's a beast.
Oh, almost.
Too much arm strength.
The delay.
The delay.
Tim, I actually don't think you'll have the worst score, too,
because we have some very bad scores.
I might be a dark horse challenger there, possibly.
Yes, okay.
Well, we're not going to leave you out to dry.
Don't worry.
If experience has told me anything, if I was drunk, I'd be better at this.
Yes.
Mincy forgets that he has to pick up the ball every time.
I know.
Too strong, Mincy.
Kind of shocked.
Move up a little, Mincy.
Oh, he just has to hit the bottle? Yeah, just hit any of the bottles. Move up a little, Mincy. Oh. He just has to hit the bottle?
Yeah, just hit any of the bottles.
Move up a little, Mincy.
You can move up.
No.
Oh, Stephen Shea gave him a...
Okay.
No, he didn't.
Gave him that Cam Newton rule.
Whoa, what's that picture that's up?
What the fuck?
What is that?
What's on the video board?
That's Danny Lance in a vlog that just came out.
Oh, my God.
Just making out.
Good for Danny.
Mayor Cena will do that to a man.
He thought that one was good.
Let's go, Lance.
Oh, fuck.
Damn.
Yes, let's go, Mincey.
Bring the whole rack.
He only needs one ball.
He only brought one suit to Dallas.
He's got it.
Oh!
There we go.
He called his shot. All right, so, Mince mincy let me help you here uh 11 awesome 11
states to border canada might be a good spot to start okay wait what 11 states yeah yeah
washington montana north dakota minnesota talk to him uh new york yep uh vermont go mincy uh wisconsin go mincy go how
many is that you don't need to get all of them uh they also have five nfl wide miami
yep five nfl wide receivers with five or more 100 catch seasons five Five or more 100 catch seasons. Five or more 100 catch seasons.
Jerry Rice.
No.
Who caught a ton of passes?
Thank God.
Four Adam Sandler.
Chris Carter.
With the initials VV.
Antonio Brown.
DeAndre Hopkins.
Here we go.
Julio Jones.
No.
No.
No. No, not really. Wes we go. Julio Jones. No. No. No.
No, not really.
Wes Welker.
Wes Welker.
Four fast food restaurants owned by the Yum brand.
By the who?
Yum brand.
Five global export leaders in 2022.
Main evil villain in He-Man.
Yeah.
Author of Cat in the Hat.
China, Russia.
Author of Cat in the Hat. What of Cat in the Hat.
What?
Cat in the Hat author.
There we go.
5-11.
He's a real one.
Got it.
You got it.
Okay.
Yeah, all you need is 10.
Oh.
Good job, Mitzi.
Do you know the Adam Sandler?
That was a bad one.
What was the question?
That home run derby thing.
Love interest.
What was the question?
Initial VV for Adam Sandler.
Love interest.
Veronica Vaughn.
Veronica.
Veronica Vaughn.
Well done.
Vicki Valancourt.
Those are two.
Vicki Valancourt.
Valerie Viren and Virginia Vanette.
Bill O'Brien not on campus.
Apparently a falsehood.
There's got to be hundreds of dudes at Alabama that look like Bill O'Brien.
What was the wedding singer?
Rat Dudes.
That's what I'm wondering.
Which one was the wedding singer?
That might have been Valerie. That was... Because what was his last name was the wedding singer? Rat Dudes. That's what I'm wondering. Which one was the wedding singer? That might have been Valerie.
That was...
Because what was his last name in the wedding singer?
Because she was like standing in front of the mirror.
No, it was Julia Guglia.
Julia.
Julia.
That's what it was.
That's what it was.
I knew the name was famous.
I couldn't remember.
All right, Tim.
Let's do it.
Okay.
All right.
I'm feeling good about this, Tim.
You understand the trivia. You just got to sit down. We'll help. Yeah, Tim. Let's do it. Okay. All right. I'm feeling good about this, Tim. You understand the trivia.
You just got to sit down.
We'll help.
Yeah, yeah.
We'll help you.
We got more to break in.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Now I'm getting a text from some reporter up in Seattle that's saying they're going
live with the story that DeBoer's not leaving.
Oh.
So, panic meter?
I'm at a point where I realize the more I think I know, the less I absolutely know,
which I probably should have figured out in life a while ago.
I feel like this is really starting to show it.
So, what's your panic meter, though?
It has to have gone up from a 7.5 because you just said DeBoer was going to be the guy.
Let me ask you.
Let me ask you.
Is Alabama lame?
I'm panicking more.
Okay.
So what's the number?
Give me the number.
Eight.
Eight.
You're only up to an eight.
Who does Ole Miss hire?
Eight and a half.
Back to eight and a half.
Eight and a half.
Eight and a half.
Final answer.
Nine is eight.
Big cat.
I don't know what's going on.
I don't know Detroit.
Is Alabama lame?
This is like dream job.
Yeah.
He would take it in a second.
I don't know that I trust this guy.
You can't win national titles at Ole Miss.
You can win national titles.
No, I agree.
I'm just curious. All right. If I hear more, I'll come back. All right. win national titles at Ole Miss. You can win national titles. No, I agree. I'm just curious.
All right.
If I hear more, I'll come back.
All right.
Perfect.
Perfect.
Yes.
Thank you, Mincy.
I'm doing my heads back.
Yeah, yeah.
Get back on your sources.
Thank you, Mincy.
He's so close.
Mincy's so close.
He's beating up.
He's so close to getting it.
He just –
I really hope Kiffin stays at Ole Miss for Mincy's sake.
Like, he's just – because he's tight with Lane.
Okay.
The Ole Miss coaching search would be fun to watch through Mincy's eyes.
All right, Tim, you ready?
Steven, if – you could be liberal on some of the calls if Tim is.
We're not going to let Tim out to dry.
Okay.
Okay.
I love that he's in his cave.
The pit is awesome.
He's the best.
I love Tim Woods.
He's like one of my favorite dudes alive. How did you find him initially?
We just said we want to learn about Dungeons & Dragons.
It's a board game, right?
Yeah. I think it was during uh because there was no sports and we found tim woods and like we
could have had anyone tim woods is just the perfect person yeah he is like he's awesome he's so
welcoming to like new people learning dungeon dragons because obviously with us when we do
something like that there's that level of like are they kind of making fun of it?
But no, Tim was like, when we met Tim, we're like,
no, we actually love doing this.
Yeah.
Because he's the best.
And you can book him if you live in New York.
You can book him to run a Dungeons & Dragons thing
with your friends, which a lot of AWOs have done
and they've said it's been awesome.
A lot of people have booked, right?
Yeah.
Explain, give me an overview, like a summary of Dungeons & Dragons.
Well, Tim, we'll just ask what Dungeons & Dragons is.
Give him a quick story.
I truly hate that.
I was going to try to explain it.
It's basically sitting around a table, drinking beer, eating pizza with your friends and stuff,
like any other game, but you're sitting around and you're just kind of telling a story together.
There is one person who's sort of like the narrator of the whole story.
That's the game master or the dungeon master.
That's usually the role I fill.
You kind of need to know what you're doing when you're the dungeon master,
but the rest of the players, you're just taking on the role of these characters
like wizards and knights and rangers and stuff like that,
and you are trying to go through the adventure laid out for you by the dungeon master.
So I'm like the computer controlling the video game kind of,
and then all the players are just kind of both playing the game,
but also goofing around, killing each other, doing whatever they want,
just doing funny stuff.
You'd like it, Will.
It's awesome.
It's a blast.
Listen to one of our episodes.
Yeah, you would love it.
You would love it.
Will, you're a board game guy.
Yeah, we'll have you join.
Yes.
That's why I'm curious.
Will, we'll have you join the next time.
Yeah, I would love to.
Yeah.
I really would.
One of my favorite experiences this year was one of the AWLs just being like, That's why I'm curious. We'll have you join the next time. Yeah, I would love to. Yeah. I really would.
One of my favorite experiences this year was one of the AWLs just being like,
I think I'm a D&D guy now.
I think I'm a D&D guy. And I was just like, yeah, you are.
This is so cool.
It's just pure fun with your friends.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
All right.
Here goes Tim.
We got this.
Watch the wheel be wet today.
I have a bad feeling. Fuck you ready tj yeah all right let's do it tim here we go three two one go let's go tim oh oh rapid fire i like it i like this
strategy take a little off take a little off it, Tim. More arch.
We're missing the board now.
Okay.
More arch.
Even bring some bags back for him.
Tim is, I mean, the fact that he's willing to do this, he's just fucking down for anything.
Notice we're.
Oh, no.
Caught in the cave.
That doesn't count.
The cave might be a problem.
Oh, you got this, Tim.
Oh, no.
Oh!
You can slide it up the board, too, Tim.
It doesn't have to go in.
Oh.
Just slide it up the board.
Oh, that's it.
That's the shot, Tim.
That's the shot, though.
Slide it up the board.
Oh, man.
We're at a minute.
Oh, no.
It's a cape.
It's a cape.
It's a goddamn cape. This goddamn cape. Oh, no. It's a cape. It's a cape. It's a goddamn cape.
This goddamn cape.
Hit it in.
Hit it in.
It's spraying.
You got this, Tim.
He's spraying it.
Here we go.
This one's the one.
Nope.
Nope.
This one hits the front of the board.
Tim might be right about.
Oh no.
Come on, Tim.
You got this.
You can step up a little too.
Yup.
Yup.
Yup.
Oh!
Oh no!
Oh, fuck.
Fuck.
Come on, Tim.
Clear out that barricade in the front.
Get some of those, Stephen, for him.
Get some of the barricade.
Get in.
Come on.
The bodies are piling up.
It's fucking with him.
Yeah, just hit those.
We got a battle of the bastards situation. Slide it up.
Oh, no.
This is crazy
come on Tim Yes, let's go, Tim. Let's go. Oh, he's hot.
He's hot.
He's hot.
Tim Woods.
Oh, this might be a problem. I think if he just gets one.
Yeah, this could take a minute.
All right, we're going to say just go to the football.
We might need to tell him to drop the cape.
Yeah, he's got a sword.
Go football, Tim.
Go football. Football. Oh, big head, he's got a sword. Go football, Tim. Go football.
Football.
Oh, big head.
He's got to go through it.
Oh, yes.
It's gone.
Dang it.
Football.
Football.
Count it.
Football.
He's got that natural sword.
He's got to go through.
Will, we got to give him a little help.
I mean, that cape was – he was never going to get a home run with that cape.
That cape is brutal, dude.
You got to tell him to take the cape off.
I know, but he's a man run with that cape. That cape is brutal, dude. You got to tell him to take the cape off. I know, but he's a man.
Oh.
Here comes George Washington.
He's on it.
He's figuring it out.
Yeah, let's go.
Here we go, Tim. All right, here we go tim he's all right here we go no i think he's gonna be nice from three oh no oh
move in a little tim move in a little free throw tim he's got
bang bang oh this is perfect for role playing a medieval scenario.
You look like Stevie from Kenny Powers.
He's got this next one. He's got this next one. Got it.
Oh, this is these misses are insane.
Get that flow, Tim.
We got him. We got to...
He has to make a basket, right?
We can't say...
Because then it's like...
Yeah, he's close enough.
Then it's reverse bullying.
He could make this, yeah.
Again, Tim is down for everything.
He said...
He called the shot.
He said, I'm going to have the worst time.
I would maybe try underhand here.
You can get even closer, Tim.
Yep.
Yep.
Stu did that that Stu got close
Oh
Oh
Ah
Oh
Oh
This is like, you know
You step into his world in Dungeons & Dragons
And now he's stepping into your world
Yeah, you're in over your head when you're
Steven's doing a great job of feeding him
Yes, let's go Alright, same thing, you get closer Yes your head when you're fighting the Borucan. Steven's doing a great job of feeding him. Yes, let's go!
All right, same thing.
You get closer.
Yes, there he goes.
The cape has been a problem, Nick.
Go figure.
There was multiple bag shots that he hit the cape before the ball or the bag came out.
What has been?
Bag.
There we go, Tim.
Let's go, trivia.
There we go, Tim.
Let's go, Tim.
Okay.
Eight Nordic countries, Tim?
Finland.
Okay.
Denmark.
Norway.
Sorry, Nordic.
Norway.
Sweden.
Three for one.
Iceland.
You're killing it.
Finland.
Three more.
All right.
You got that.
Five most popular PBS kids shows.
Popular acronyms.
Eight Jewish holidays. Eight Jewish holidays.
Eight Jewish holidays.
Oh, Hanukkah.
Yep.
Rosh Hashanah.
Yep.
I think you got it.
We get the spelling.
We get the spelling.
Rosh Hashanah, yeah.
Pick one end.
Yeah!
Let's go, Tim.
S&P companies. Yeah, 546. You got it. It worked, Tim. S&P Company.
Yeah, 546.
You got it. It worked, Tim.
Well done.
Not the worst.
Not the worst.
Let's see it.
Let's see it.
Let's see where you stack up.
You were not the worst.
Awesome.
Barely beat.
Oh, Delaney.
Oh, he tied Delaney.
Oh, shit.
No way.
Wow.
He beat Will Compton.
Oh, no.
Will. Wait, you beat Will. You beat Will. No way. He beat Will Kemp. Oh, no, Will.
He beat Will.
He beat Will.
He played in the NFL for eight years.
This is where we draw the line.
Now I understand why Will was like, wait, we can't give him that.
That makes sense.
I was like, Will, what are you talking about?
I think you put him above Delaney.
Put an asterisk next to his name.
Put him above Delaney.
No asterisk.
No, there were some.
No, no.
Let's see you do it in the case.
I'm the one guy that's pissed off.
I was so curious.
I was like, Will, why can't we count that?
I wasn't necessarily thinking the time thing because I thought I got a better one.
I could have swore I won a second time and I beat it.
What a great plot twist that Will is down there.
Wow.
I forgot Will was a six-minute guy.
Will played in the NFL, Tim.
Well, I figure if I'm going to ask you guys to play D&D,
the least I can do is take on this.
There we go.
We're all doing stuff we're new at.
Yeah, your willingness to do it makes you a legend.
Appreciate it.
Thank you.
Wearing a cape.
Yeah, the asterisk is wearing a cape.
Wearing the cape.
Really?
Now I know why they all play in cloaks.
There you go.
I got to wrap it a second.
It's almost like they thought this out.
Let's do one more.
Will, why don't you get out there?
Yeah, Will.
Tim, can you borrow your cape?
Yeah.
Will, do it in a cape.
Do it in a cape, Will.
Yeah.
Let's go, Will.
Let's see it in a cape.
Come on, Will. You's see it in a cape.
You may need to take off hat and glasses.
Yo, that's a heavy cape.
All right here.
Will with the cape.
I always have to pop my head through.
There you go.
All right.
Will's rebuttal with the cape.
I love this.
TJ, spin our wheel just so we can end as soon as Will's done.
That is a Felon Fair Ranger clip right there.
Great for navigating. Whoa, he needs the bag, too.
The satchel.
Waved down.
Anyway, give him the backstory on it.
The cloak?
This is a LARPing cloak that I wore to a LARP called Weekend Warrior,
the company that sponsors Fel at Felon Fair,
and they make all these costumes.
So great for navigating the woods and fighting.
Terrible for playing the cornhole.
Oh, man, this is going to be great.
Now, Will, wait, Will, Will, Will, you got to make sure the cape.
That's a good look.
Like, you can't have the strap.
You got to go cape above.
You got to go strap underneath the cap.
Take the cape, take it all off, put strap on, then put the cape on over top. Because right now, the strap is gotta go cape you gotta go underneath the cap take the cake take it all off
put strap on yeah yeah on over top because right now the the strap is actually helping the cake
it's a good point so take the take it off absolutely take the strap off then go cape off
cape strap on first strap goes under cape oh and let's um here what i can do is squeeze under will
looks like a brooklyn dad. And then over your head.
Boom.
And then there you go.
Cool.
All right.
All right.
All right, Will.
You made it.
Oh.
Yes.
Whoa.
Let's go.
Oh.
Oh, man.
All right, Will.
Are you ready?
A little different.
Yeah, it's not so easy.
It's not so easy.
I'm going to say when.
All right, TJ, you ready?
Yes.
Three, two, one, go.
Oh, no.
He's off. He had the cape. He's off.
Yeah, the cape.
He's cooked.
He looks like a vampire that drinks kombucha.
Whoa, the cape got that one.
This cape is no joke.
Oh, man.
There you go.
All right.
Here he goes.
Nope.
Oh.
Oh, nice, Connor.
All right, here we go.
This is so great.
This is going so hard.
It was not easy.
Oh, nope.
Oh.
Put extra balls in the satchel.
Dinger.
Uh oh. Alright. Yeah, put extra balls in the satchel. Dinger. Uh-oh.
All right.
Oh, he's hot.
He's hot.
He's hot.
This cape is giving him all types of problems.
The Nick cam in the corner is racking me up.
There we go.
I can't believe Vincey took one ball and swished it.
What a moment.
Will's better in a cape.
Yeah, he's way better in a cape.
But remember, we also have trivia.
Will it make him better at Sporkle, I wonder?
Sporkle is Will's kryptonite.
Craig, I love the hair.
That's rad.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
There it is.
There it is.
Let's go.
Sporkle, here he comes.
Here he comes.
Whoa.
Oh.
11 presidents with their first name beginning with the letter J.
All right, where are we at?
Six NBA players hit 10 three-pointers in one game more than once in their career.
It's the apocalypse.
So the flavors of Coca-Cola and Coke Freestyle, is that like Dr. Pepper?
Mm-mm.
I don't think so.
It's like the flavors you can add to the Coke.
Yeah, five NFL players to be rated 99 overall in the most Madden games.
J.J. Watt.
Let's go T.J. Watt.
Eight most common street names in the U.S.?
That's good.
Say that again.
Eight most common street names in the U.S.?
Street names.
Oh, God.
You're going to say a rapper name?
Colors and Magic the Gathering. Yeah, God. Is there a rapper name? What about Washington?
Colors and Magic, The Gathering.
Yeah, it's him. What about 11 U.S. presidents with their first name beginning with the letter J?
Presidents with the first name beginning with the letter J.
What's the street that goes right through town?
Main Street.
There we go.
I didn't think of that.
11?
There you go.
You don't have any presidents.
Time out, time out.
I'll get this.
Gerald Ford?
Target.
Targeting, Will.
Think about targeting.
Dana White's arch enemy.
Think about targeting.
Towards the president's skull.
Yeah.
Headshots.
JFK.
There we go.
JFK.
Six movies in Terminator franchise?
That should be easy
Terminator
Yep
Nailed it
Will who's the president right now
Joe Biden
There we go
Well Will's president
Yes
So is there no Terminator 2
It's called something different I think
Yeah
Ten
Five colors
We'll start helping you after.
Ray Allen.
J.J. Reddick.
Oh, red.
You got red.
Keep naming colors, dude.
Five colors in Magic the Gathering.
Blue.
Yellow.
Yeah.
No.
Them saying no.
Pink.
Think of big man creatures. Green. Yeah, my man. Yeah. He's fucking. No. I'm saying no. Pink.
Think of big man creatures.
Green.
Yeah, my man.
Yeah.
Two more, Will.
Think dark, right?
Black.
Yeah.
Brown.
No.
Close.
Close.
Close to brown.
Orange.
Closer.
Oh, closer.
Oh, yeah.
You got a flavor.
There it is. There you go.
What's the last color? Oh, that's funny. White. Oh, closer. Oh, yeah. You got a flavor. There it is. There you go. What's the last color?
Oh, that's funny.
White.
Oh, I didn't think you were red already.
My bad.
I thought I was indicating a red.
Yeah.
All right.
Steph Curry, I should have got that one.
Yeah, Peyton Manning, yeah.
Man, I really freeze under pressure.
But you beat your time.
Yeah, 420 with the cape.
I'm trying to keep my composure.
You have the number one cape time, Will.
Number one cape time. Number one cape time. Yeah. You have the number one cape time, Will. Number one cape time.
Number one cape time.
Yeah.
You hold the record for cape division.
All right.
Well, thank you, everyone.
This has been a fantastic yak.
Absolutely.
Tomorrow we have Hibachi Chef.
Titus will be out because he's got his house moving.
Yep.
But we'll have sleepover recap.
Yep.
I want some documentation
from it.
Of course, of course.
Yeah, let's
let's have the recap
of the sleepover
on the Yak.
What?
Sleepover night five
with the board games.
Oh, yeah, big time.
D&D big time.
D&D is the best.
Yes.
It's a board game,
but it's better.
Yes.
I know.
I got it.
I want to
once Yak concludes,
it's like we get
a game.
Sit right down.
We'll heard there's a game master and he,
uh,
his ears perked up.
Well,
if you don't have to leave,
you can watch.
I truly enjoy board games.
You can watch game.
Watch us.
Game master.
Oh,
uh,
all right.
Well,
thank you.
Well,
thank you,
Tim woods.
I'm used to the confusion over the word dungeon master.
That's usually where people get thrown out.
Uh,
please subscribe.
We'll see everyone tomorrow.
Great Yak. See you tomorrow.
Bye.