The Yak - TJ Attempts the Milk Gallon Challenge || The Yak 6-8-22

Episode Date: June 8, 2022

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's really loud. It's really loud. It's really loud. Hello, everyone. It is the act. It's day one after KB's Wild, the new normal. I know where we go from here.
Starting point is 00:00:39 I hope we land on it again. I hope we land on it again. Me too. I really want to flesh it out and make it a big thing. Next time it's going to be a week-long adventure. You can do whatever you want with it.
Starting point is 00:00:54 It's KB's Wild. How's everyone doing? Good, Che. Good? I wanted to tell you I appreciate you. Thanks, dude. I appreciate you.
Starting point is 00:01:07 That really meant a lot to me. You put together a really nice show. What is this? What are you guys doing? I think the fact that he was so willing to just do that. Oh, he's down, yeah. Yeah, he didn't even. He has a tattoo of him.
Starting point is 00:01:20 I didn't even ask before he just got right into it. Have you had that conversation yet, Steven, in the walls of your house where it's like where your wife's like, so you're just going to do anything? I think we kind of both know what the line is. And also she just, you know, ignorance is bliss. Like, I'm not going to be like, hey, I'm getting a hanging wedgie today.
Starting point is 00:01:40 Yeah, but you probably came home a little drunk. I told her she actually was in the city yesterday, so I told her. I was like, hey, I'm going to need you to drive home. It is a conversation, though, that needs to be had. It's like, hey, it's no holds barred. Yeah. In this line of work of ours.
Starting point is 00:01:59 It's kind of like getting in the mafia. You're like, listen. It's like Godfather. Don't ask, don't tell. Yeah're like, listen. It's like Godfather. Don't ask, don't tell. Yeah, listen, K. There's things that you don't want the answer to. Yeah, exactly. Did you sober up before you went to bed, or were you still drunk by then?
Starting point is 00:02:15 It was more just like I had a terrible tummy ache. Oh, yeah. That stuff was so gross. Like I could feel it in my system. Your tummy and your tum-tum. Your tummy ache. tum-tum. Zah's back. Zah, what's up?
Starting point is 00:02:27 Where have you been? Zah, we missed you yesterday. Good, fellas. Good. I was out in Vegas. It was hot as hell. Dude, how sick is that golf course? That's the one we played at. You know what?
Starting point is 00:02:35 It's crazy how the best golf courses in this country are like in places that have no water. Yeah. Probably not a good thing. Yeah, probably not. Probably not at all. But yeah, probably not. Probably not at all. But yeah, it's insane. They were saying that a day worth of rain can save them up to, what, 300 grand a year or something? Wow.
Starting point is 00:02:56 So each time it rains, it's like, all right, the P&L is about to change. But it was good, though. It's probably not the best. What are the people saying about that? What's going to happen? Twitter has gone anti-golf course. Oh, yeah. Get rid of all the golf course.
Starting point is 00:03:07 The water situation in that area. I think like draining the Colorado River. Yeah. And they got the new golf tour, the Live Tour in Saudi Arabia. There's one event in Saudi Arabia. The other ones are all over the place. We were discussing like what would your number be for your dignity to be- 77.
Starting point is 00:03:26 77,000. That's it? Wait, for what? I would do the- Live golf in Saudi Arabia for 77,000. What is this? I would do the Yak in Saudi Arabia for free. It's a competitor to the PGA Tour, LIV.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Funded fully by the Saudi Arabian government, which is- Sheiks. Let's just say the money isn't the emirs. Yeah, they're not the coolest guys. Let's just say this. A little murdery. You'll never see the Liv Tour doing the rainbow in June on their logos. Right.
Starting point is 00:03:55 Catch my drift. So, yeah, how much money would we have to make to have the yak be relocated and fully funded by the Saudi government? Oh, permanently? Yeah. I thought it was like we were just doing like a... Relocated to Saudi Arabia? We'd have to do it in Saudi Arabia, right?
Starting point is 00:04:15 I hate driving anyway. 70 million. 70? For all of us? Yeah, we all get 10. Doesn't the WWE do something like this where they do it for a weekend? Yeah, people get mad about that. But they get paid like a gargantuan sum, right?
Starting point is 00:04:31 Yeah, they do. I think they just do like wrestling shows. It's like a long multi-year deal for multi-events. Listen, say what you want about the Saudi Arabians. Those guys know how to live when they're rich because they basically are like, hey, we love wrestling. Come do a wrestling show for us private. They all have cheetahs and cool dune buggies
Starting point is 00:04:49 and all sorts of shit that seems awesome. I'd argue that's not knowing how to be rich. What are you talking about? If they want something, they get it. Yeah, like if you... Think about it this way. That's just spending to spend. If you had Saudi money and you were like,
Starting point is 00:05:04 hey, you know what I want to do? I want to have the big 10 wrestling championship in my backyard they saw the movie rich one time and they were like that's what a rich person is that's what we're gonna do you could basically just do whatever you want i just realized that the fucking world team trials are going on now at ms? Are you asking us? No, I'm saying it. I'm just confused. It's a Wednesday. What would you do with that?
Starting point is 00:05:31 You guys are going to reach their dreams on a Wednesday? That's a good day to do it. Mid-work week. Fresh off of Nick Tuesday. Is the Burj Khalifa in Saudi? No, that's in Dubai. That's in Dubai. Imagine we did a hanging wedgie.
Starting point is 00:05:45 From the Burj Khalifa. Yeah? No, that's in Dubai. That's in Dubai. Imagine we did a hanging wedgie. From the Burj Khalifa. Yeah. That's so sick. That's the type of shit we could do with the Saudi money. But they would. You could say, I want to do a hanging wedgie. What's that super tall building that they have? I feel like they would facilitate the most expensive hanging wedgie of all time.
Starting point is 00:06:00 I want to act like I would be all high and mighty and I wouldn't do it. My number would be shockingly low. Yeah. Probably. I would do it for like a new car. I mean, I'd degrade myself here for a shockingly low number. So our number would be small. 70 million in Saudi Arabia would be a lot of money.
Starting point is 00:06:16 How much? Yeah. 70 million? Do you think they've got to pay taxes? Hell no. Yeah, probably not. I feel like we'd be running shit shit over there i'd burn through that so fast they do it though they call it like like saudi arabia has a whole like a governmental
Starting point is 00:06:31 organization who they bring in like the top influencers from around the world and they take them on these tours to make saudi arabia look like this wonderful awesome fun place and then they do the sports like they pretty much own f1 racing or whatever right and so that everybody's like oh man saudi Saudi Arabia is doing some bad things. But did you see the race this weekend? It was kind of fucking sick. Right. It works on me.
Starting point is 00:06:51 Doesn't John Cena? John Cena has a commercial for Saudi Arabia. He's in his private jet and he's like, we're above Saudi Arabia. And he jumps out of the fucking plane. Yeah. Get down there. Yeah. Also, like, we're not doing great things.
Starting point is 00:07:03 Oh, who? Us personally? America. Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure. We're not doing great things Oh, who? Us personally? America Oh, yeah, yeah We're not perfect It would be awesome to watch the internet just explode If Barstool just got bought by Saudi Arabia That would be awesome
Starting point is 00:07:16 You already hate us anyway Let's just fucking do the whole thing I feel like Dave would thrive in Saudi Arabia Minus the whole Big J thing. I don't think. I don't think they like Jews. I'm just going to take a guess. It's just a guess.
Starting point is 00:07:32 I was thinking journalism. Maybe they just don't know any. They don't like journalists. Yeah. Well, that too. That too. Right. There's a story there.
Starting point is 00:07:38 I don't either, yeah. Jews? Oh. Yeah, it's a fun thought starter. How much for the yak to be Saudi Arabian? I do feel like 70 is a good... I don't know why, it just feels right. That would be awesome.
Starting point is 00:07:56 I think I'd have zero hesitation. How much to go to, like, Chicago? Oh. Like, at least 200 million. Hear that, Dan? Hear one of those put a reply guys what about chicago guy no saudi arabia is doing bad i mean how long what about saudi arabia how long we'd have to be there for they would probably be if we did years 70 million dollars yeah 10 years i wouldn't want too hot dude I would struggle with having to wear a t-shirt. The heat isn't my issue.
Starting point is 00:08:28 I wouldn't want to live there. Yeah. It's a dry heat. No humidity. Yeah. Maybe that's like if we did the press conference, we're very noble. We're like, listen, nothing against Saudi Arabia. There's a reason why we're not going there.
Starting point is 00:08:39 It's too hot. Yeah. That's really it. My breasts will sweat too much. If you want to say that's a moral stand, good. Could we be made princes? I think so. I think you could do whatever.
Starting point is 00:08:50 I mean, that's... Although, again, I don't know how minorities would do in Saudi Arabia. I feel like they're not down with that. I think we're the minorities in Saudi Arabia. No, but we... In a good kind of way. No, I think in a bad that. I think we're the minorities in Saudi Arabia. No, but we... In a good kind of way. No, I think in a bad way. I think they just pointed us.
Starting point is 00:09:07 To America. They'd be like, Zoss, Steven, Sass, Big Cat, you guys go over there. I'd be like, what? Why? Oh, and Kate. Yeah, Kate too. What? It's a woman, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:19 So... I would love an every days are for the boys flag. That would rock. The afterlife is for the boys. All right. Well, we'll think about it. We'll reach out. We'll reach out to them.
Starting point is 00:09:31 Did somebody reach out to us? No. Oh, Che. Is that how rumors get started? I should have said yes. God damn it. Having a commercial for your country is so sick. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:40 Yeah. Yeah. Saudi Arabia just has a commercial. We have state commercials. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. State tourism. Let's see what we can use some U.S. Yeah. Yeah. Saudi Arabia just has a commercial. We have state commercials. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. State tourism. Let's see. We could use some U.S. commercials. We're thinking about getting bought by Saudi Arabia.
Starting point is 00:09:52 Is that the best offer? Yeah. We're in discussion right now. Seventy million sass kind of boxes into this 70 million thing. Yeah. What are the guys? I was all said 70 guys in the booth aren't getting anything. Oh yeah. True. All right. We'll go. Seventy70 million. You guys in the booth aren't getting anything? Oh, yeah, true. All right, we'll go $100 million. $73 million.
Starting point is 00:10:06 Yes. Why Saudi Arabia, though? Because they got this new golf thing. It seems like they're spending money. Live tour. Yeah, the live tour. What about Dubai or some shit? Are Saudi Arabia the only one that has money?
Starting point is 00:10:21 They're the ones throwing around the money right now. Yeah, trying to change the perception of them. I have a terrible perception. I do not fuck with Saudi Arabia right now. Really? Too big and too much free oil. If they have all the oil, why are the oil prices so high?
Starting point is 00:10:38 Why are the companies that are stationed in Saudi Arabia making so much money? Yeah, you see those profits they turned? I saw the profits. Would be funny if the Saudi Arabian government went woke and was like, Arabia make is so much money. You see those profits they turned? I saw the profits. It would be funny if the Saudi Arabian government went woke and was like, yeah, we thought about buying Joe Rogan, but that thing he said about COVID.
Starting point is 00:10:54 We're walking out. Gas is probably much cheaper over there. Gas probably is much cheaper, right? I think it's free. I'm kidding. I don't know. They just put a hose in the ground. It's just in the water. $5.
Starting point is 00:11:09 Last I heard, it's $5 to fill up a tank. Saudi Arabia? Who'd you hear that from? I have a friend that's out there. Really? Can we call him? Yeah. What time is it over there?
Starting point is 00:11:21 It's probably like 7-8 hours ahead. What floor of the apartment do you think he lives in? They all live in sky high rises in the clouds. This also is one of those stories that I have not read anything about. I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm having just strong, strong opinions about stuff that I do not know what I'm talking about. Where do they go in War Dogs where the gas is free? What country is that?
Starting point is 00:11:43 I think that was because the gas station attendant was murdered. All gas is free when you kill the gas station attendant. That scene was the triangle of death in Fallujah. A little life hack for the people out there. It's free gas. It is free gas. That is a little hack. Also, I don't have a car.
Starting point is 00:12:03 Neither do I. Gas prices. Uber. Oh, yeah. My Uber's been, you know, prices have been going crazy. Fuck. Hey, those are little things you kind of forget. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:14 Goddamn. Yeah. You got to go to Uber over there again. It's good. But Nick, you saw those numbers from the gas companies? The highest ever. Yeah. The highest ever.
Starting point is 00:12:24 It's the highest ever right now? Their profits are. They're gouging. I just saw a video where all these super hot women were at a gas station, you know late at night and there's music playing and these women were all twerking on top of this car and their boobs were falling out and their butt cheeks were falling out and all the comments were like
Starting point is 00:12:40 oh my god, in the background you can see how expensive the gas was. Everyone was like $6.89, oh my god, in the background you can see how expensive the gas was. Everyone was like, $6.89. Oh my god. That's fucking crazy. It's tough. Can't afford to be a whore with these prices. No. Get out and work. I've had to pull back a ton.
Starting point is 00:12:56 Odds are tough. All my makeup's oil-based. Did anybody else have a terrible gastrointestinal day yesterday? Yeah, that stuff was poison. Yeah, not only did I feel drunk, but I just couldn't stop pooping sand. Literal poison. It was like the magic sand that's somehow magnetic.
Starting point is 00:13:17 Alert one, yeah. I thought I was crazy for after the show. I went to like I was in the bathroom. I was like, I feel like I feel fuzzy. Like I feel like I was like like there's no way one shot whatever but yeah no it did something it was yeah it was like the you weren't drunk but you felt like a little
Starting point is 00:13:33 fuzzy around the edges I was like drunk oh really yeah that's why you only drink he only drank five to six beers Steve came up to me and he was like dude I'm wasted really you do a good act what did you put in that shit KB He only drank five to six beers. Steve came up to me and he was like, dude, I'm wasted. Really? You do a good ass thing. What'd you put in that shit, KB?
Starting point is 00:13:49 Yeah, KB. You guys just did the straight devil springs. You didn't even take a shot. You weren't in the montage. I wasn't in the montage either. You weren't in the montage. What the fuck was that? KB, death mix was perfect.
Starting point is 00:13:58 No repercussions. Death mix was great. Steven still looks drunk. Yeah. I was a little hungover. I was thinking about the other, maybe it was earlier today looks drunk. Yeah. I was thinking about the other, maybe it was earlier today. No.
Starting point is 00:14:09 Yeah. I saw Sass is doing shows. You want to plug your shows? Brooklyn. June 18th. And Sass has actually perfected the craft of comedy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:19 Come there and you will see the best show you've ever seen. Best show you've ever seen. He'll be doing this year's stuff, last year's stuff, old stuff. All of my stuff. Dylan's stuff.
Starting point is 00:14:31 When you do make it really, really big and they do a documentary about you, will you mention us? Yeah, of course. How much? Not everyone. I bet he doesn't mention everyone. Me and KB will be played by the same person. They'll come by. You guys will be like Armie same person. They'll come by. You guys will be like
Starting point is 00:14:45 Armie Hammer in the social network. Yeah. Reverse Armie Hammer. Reverse Armie Hammer. It'd be funny if your first special You guys playing one person.
Starting point is 00:14:54 If your first special was just like very specific jokes about us all but like not naming us. Oh, it will be. Okay. I'm ready for that ride.
Starting point is 00:15:03 You guys should come. It's going to be a fun show. I'll go. June 18th? June 18th. I'll be there. Saudi Arabia? June 18th.
Starting point is 00:15:09 It'll be more like Big Daddy. The kids, the Sprouse twins in Big Daddy. Okay. Both of them playing the same one character. Oh, yeah, or the Winklevii. We need to get a five-year plan for Sass, though. If we're really going to ride his coattails to the top, we have to be pretty fucking detailed about what he's going to do. Well, that's our... Yeah, because our five-year plan is gonna ride his coattails to the top we have to be pretty fucking detailed about what he's gonna do well that's our yeah because our five-year plan is
Starting point is 00:15:28 to ride his coat exactly so we guys are really like explaining my five-year plan yeah no we're gonna we're gonna butt in on that which i don't love i think five within five years feature films dude feature films i think leading man i think you're thinking way too small I think he's whatever's after films The next frontier Post film Behind the scenes Him living in the woods Not talking to any of us
Starting point is 00:15:54 So that means feature films sooner then? Yeah Need to get into those now? Need to get you hooked up with Apatow I feel like Apatow would take a real liking to you I feel like Apatow would take a real liking to you. Apatow. I feel like you think Maude is... What's her name?
Starting point is 00:16:08 Maude, yeah. Maude. Unattainable. What a shitty thing to name your daughter. Did Apatow just have his wife dump her cans out in all his movies? Yeah. Like some of his movies? Yeah, so everyone would be like, you know that's Apatow's wife.
Starting point is 00:16:20 What? She's hot. Oh, dude. That's a worse sex crime than Epstein. The one with the raspy voice? a worse sex crime than Epstein. The one with the raspy voice? Worse sex crime than Epstein. Just putting your wife on display for the world and just being like...
Starting point is 00:16:31 Very weird. Here we just wrote this scene in for a casual nipple to be out. Apex Instagram boyfriend. Yeah, he really is. It's also just weird to go to work with your family every day by choice, right? Just writing them all in.
Starting point is 00:16:49 Oh, well, Brandon kind of does that. Yeah, that's true. He's on his way to doing that. Brandon here. Were they both in the movie scene before? I think so. She was a waitress. Leslie Mann is a good actress.
Starting point is 00:17:01 Well, both their daughters were the kids in Knocked Up. Oh, Leslie Mann rules. I love her. I met a lot of Apatow's in... I didn't know that's who we were talking about. I missed that part. Euphoria, right? Isn't that one of Jake Malasek's?
Starting point is 00:17:12 Wasn't that one of the girls that Jake Malasek said he wanted to fuck? It's his hall pass. Yeah, on that thing. Oh, no, no, no. That was... Who was that? He just wanted to watch... Rachel McAdams.
Starting point is 00:17:22 Rachel McAdams. Oh, yeah, Rachel McAdams. And Gosselin. I've been thinking about that. Can we re-listen to that at some pointAdams. Rachel McAdams. Yeah, and golf. I've been thinking about that. Can we re-listen to that at some point? Yeah, sure. So funny. I think the way for you to get in with Apatow's sass
Starting point is 00:17:31 is for you to pitch a pilot where like a Mrs. Robinson, or like the graduate type of thing, where his wife is a MILF that you're trying to bang. Oh, yeah. Because then it's double duty. Then he can get you in the mix, and then he can get his... Yeah, I'll talk to him.
Starting point is 00:17:47 Well, his wife already tried to bang an underage Zac Efron in 17 again. Oh, fuck. Oh, yeah. Really? Yeah. Yep. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:17:54 God damn. There was a period of time when 17 was 30. Yes. It was when I was 14. I was like 17-year-olds. He's already 17 Yeah Old ass
Starting point is 00:18:07 Apex humans So you know there's an intern That's kind of encroaching on your turf KB He's living at the NYU dorms Oh really Yeah He came in and he's like
Starting point is 00:18:19 Yeah I'm living at the NYU dorms Especially during the summer It's not weird Well we were like You're going to have to talk to KB about that I need a place. Rear texted me during that episode. He lived one summer at a school in Canada.
Starting point is 00:18:31 It was supposed to be an apartment complex, and they put him in a frat house. That's sick. Empty frat house. Wasn't cleaned up from the year before. That's gross. He just lived there for a summer. I went to a battle rap in Canada one time, and they said that they were going to have for us and we were staying in dorms at mcgill university wasn't that cool it didn't make the show that cool yeah kind of sucked when i still lived down i was living in delco and
Starting point is 00:18:55 barstool radio had just started and chaps was like can you be up in new york like right away i needed time to find an apartment here but i didn't want to say no because i was like brand new and i still couldn't believe i'm like, I can't believe they hired me or whatever. So I was staying in a hostel at night down in Chinatown. Like I was in a I stayed in a bunk bed. I would lock myself stuff up in a cage and it was like thirty dollars a night or something. And it would just be like that's still a lot more in people. I was too afraid to use the shower.
Starting point is 00:19:22 I was too afraid. But I did that for like probably like four weeks. I would just because our show was 10 to midnight. Yeah. And so I couldn't be to use the shower. I was too afraid. But I did that for probably like four weeks. I would just, because our show was 10 to midnight. Yeah. And so I couldn't be going back and forth. And finally, Chaps found out what I was doing. He's like, you know you can ask for a hotel room and stuff, right? And I was like, oh, I didn't want to impose.
Starting point is 00:19:36 You're allowed to like, whatever. They put you in a hotel room that's worse than the hospital. That's worse than the, yeah, yeah, yeah. They sent me the NYU dorm. What was it like in there? Was the language barrier pretty rough that you couldn't communicate with any single human? It was rough.
Starting point is 00:19:50 It was a room full of bunk beds and it was all hours of the night, just people coming and going. And yeah, and I mean, I got in late, so I felt bad. Like people were sleeping. There's like curfews, right? That had to have been something too, where you're like, I was a Marine, so I can. Were you like, I've done this before? Similar?
Starting point is 00:20:09 Yes, there's been worse spots to sleep. It was super awkward. I feel like if there's anyone in this room who can deal with that, it's probably you. I would have been like this. Or Sass. Or Sass. Right. Never complaints. Definitely not me.
Starting point is 00:20:20 What were the people like there? I think I was like the only speaker. Chinese. Probably Chinese people. Yeah, honest to God, the only speaker. Chinese, probably Chinese people. Yeah, honest to God, it was mostly. It was definitely Chinese people. Yeah. So it was interesting.
Starting point is 00:20:30 Do you think that Sass, if we put, if we enlisted him in the army, he could like take down the United States army just by complaining? Like would they be like, yeah, we're just going to give up? Actually, he would thrive because the main thing you do is complain. Really? Like the better you can complain the more popular you are i want to be i want to be in the i want to be a fighter pilot though you could oh amount of you could just randomly nothing no no no i actually still haven't seen the new one i
Starting point is 00:20:59 but i really why i don't know i just haven't we're gonna see at some point soon but no doubt is that true how does that mean we'll see he's got a busy schedule one's gonna be your manager right yeah okay of course that's good because i don't know at least contact him owen could i think be i think he could be uh on screen talent in an appetite. Oh. I don't think you have to relegate Owen to manager. I was saying for the
Starting point is 00:21:28 stand up career. Oh maybe. Yeah. I could do that too. Kate what's up. It's Sunday's melting. I know. Please.
Starting point is 00:21:37 They didn't give me a spoon so I'm using cardboard straw. It's okay. It's okay. And then I felt awkward because it looks weird to do this.
Starting point is 00:21:44 Brandon eats on this show constantly. Constantly. You're going to have to swallow. Yeah. My tattoo guy said he can come in in three weeks. Ooh. I want to do a tattoo yak. I need an entry into tattoos that might be the best way.
Starting point is 00:22:01 Because then once I get one, everyone's like one one to two is easy right yeah it's zero to one that everyone judges that's the thing and if you don't care about the first one okay i'm in what was your where are you gonna get it was on my leg it was done by a friend it's just a very poorly done smiley face i don't know what i'd get where i think my first one maybe like my shoulder or something i don't know know. I would go side shoulder right here. Yikes. I think I want to get a Creed. Wait, what?
Starting point is 00:22:31 Hold on. I was going to also do that. What does yikes mean? That's like a very 1992-ass place to get a tattoo. You might as well get barbed wire on the bicep. It's just one tattoo and it's right there on the bicep. Where would you get yours? I wouldn't get one. I'm not going to get onebed wire on the bicep. It's just one tattoo and it's right there on the bicep. Where would you get yours? I wouldn't get one.
Starting point is 00:22:47 Well, I'm not going to get one either. Yeah, you are. If I have to. I'll give tattoos before I get tattoos. Ron, I'll let you tattoo me instead of getting mine. I'll take one from Ron as well. I'm with you, though. If you're going to have one, that's like the most visible option.
Starting point is 00:23:02 I don't know. Oh, arm would be the most visible, right? Yeah, but that's just like a billboard. I got one. What's like the most visible option. I don't know. Oh, arm would be the most visible, right? Yeah, but that's just like a billboard. If I got one. What's going on here? He's just staring at us. What the fuck? Oh, your mom's got to be freaking out right now. That guy was just
Starting point is 00:23:16 fucking mean-mucking. I wish I had my robot to attack him. Did you see Glennie's got some more OnlyFans ladies rolling through? Every time he opens the door, I'm like, who are these characters? Such a delight. Oh, he gave us one of these.
Starting point is 00:23:33 The boy's about to see the OnlyFans girls. Become a man. Their make-a-wish is just to watch Glennie do interviews of OnlyFans girls. Not even actual. So where should I get my first tattoo, then? Lower back. Yeah, true.
Starting point is 00:23:51 What? I think you got nice titties, yeah, Peck? Yeah, your Peck. Oh, yeah, you should do the Rihanna, the underneath the titties, like the this. Under the fold? Under the fold. I hate that.
Starting point is 00:24:02 Why? I don't know. It's not for me. Why? And then all the people try to replicate fold. I hate that. Why? I don't know. It's not for me. Why? And then like all the people try to replicate that. I hate it. Dude, I think chest right here for you,
Starting point is 00:24:11 like a crest or some shit would look dope. You pop your top and there's like a fucking like... I don't take my shirt off very often. Dead in the middle. It could peek out of the wife beater too. Yes, dude.
Starting point is 00:24:20 There's something that's peeking out of the wife beater. What if I got tattooed like a sick fluff of hair Right here Like the bald dudes who get the Hairline Just get a hairline on your chest
Starting point is 00:24:35 That'd be nice I went to college with a guy who he always wore Ralph Lauren polo shirts And so he got the Ralph Lauren polo Right here on his chest We also did the guys who do barracks tats all the time like friends just in the late at night and they're drinking and one of my best buddies got huge across right over his penis you want it oh and then he also got at that
Starting point is 00:24:57 point it's way too late to be asking yeah who cares you're about to have it and then he got on one butt cheek it's a stick figure couple doing. And then he got on one butt cheek. It's a stick figure couple doing it doggy style. And the other butt cheek has a little cameraman stick figure filming it. Oh, that's awesome. That's kind of cool. That's funny. Is there a question mark?
Starting point is 00:25:15 You want it one. Is it a statement? You want it. You're right. There's no question mark. Oh, it's more authoritative. If it says I want it, people will read it. It's like, I want it.
Starting point is 00:25:23 They'll be like, oh, that's all I need. He tries using it as consent. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay. She read my text. You looked at it, so you acknowledged it.
Starting point is 00:25:32 Yeah. Signature. Like one of those public filmings. An ocular signature. You agreed. Your Honor, it's Helvetica Bold. She did not see it. She saw it.
Starting point is 00:25:42 You could do a thong peeking out of the top of your pants. Just like not a full thong, but everything. My boy Joey Hoffman has that. Just a thong peeking up the top. Joey has that, Joey Hoffman? Yeah, Joey Hoffman. And he also has one squirrel running up the leg and then running down the other leg with a nut in his mouth.
Starting point is 00:26:00 That's kind of funny. That's hard. That's hard as fuck. You just spread your legs. Or you could go inner fingers or some shit like that. Yeah, inner fingers. Knuckles. Remember the rumor with Pat Burrell was that he had a baseball bat
Starting point is 00:26:11 tattooed down the inside of his leg that was as long as his hard penis was, which was supposedly pretty big. Yes, Pat the Bat had a lot of stories. I don't remember that one about him. I heard from a friend of a friend. I think there's a website that knows. There it was, Urban Ledge. I just can't see myself with a tattoo.
Starting point is 00:26:33 I can see you with a tattoo. Just like a goofy one. A big stand-up mic on your arm or something. Oh, God, no. A heartbeat. Are you thinking about what you're going to get? No, I'm never getting one. Ever?
Starting point is 00:26:49 No. I'm standing in solidarity with you. What if the Saudi Arabians say, Saudi Arabian flag, 100 million? 100 mil. Oh, yeah. Then actually I would get that. Okay, so there you go.
Starting point is 00:26:59 Everyone's got a price. What about if it's on your forehead? Yep. 100 mil. I wouldn't, but they would. Have we already agreed? We forgot to ask Body Part. A trillion dollars, I'd get a tattoo on my forehead.
Starting point is 00:27:11 Trillion? You wouldn't do it for a billion? You can't remove it. No. You can't remove it. A trillion, I would. Remember the lady? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:18 She had goldenpalace.com or something. No free ads, but it was one of the first viral tattoo photos. She had it huge across her forehead. It was like some gambling site paid her to do it. And so she did. I think it was only like $10,000 or something. But it was huge. So maybe we could get people, pay people to do Barstool Sportsbook tattoos
Starting point is 00:27:35 on their faces. I feel like being a billionaire wouldn't even be worth it with a face tattoo. Yeah, it would. A billionaire? No, I think you need the T. You need like your own city or island to be on. But if you got one face tattoo. No. Yeah. Yeah, I would. A billionaire? Yes. No, I think you need the T. You need like your own city or island to be on. But if you got one face tattoo, you just might as well get them all and like fill in your whole face and just become one of those freaks.
Starting point is 00:27:54 Yeah, but then you, yeah, it would really throw your life off a lot. Yeah, but a billion. I guess if you got a billion dollars, you could be like, oh, I got paid a billion dollars to get this. Remember the guy who did leopard spots all over his body in the Guinness Book of World Records? He had no penis, and it was in the book. You could see his lack of penis.
Starting point is 00:28:11 We don't even get a fucking, we don't even get a wave. Wave from Lenny's whores? No, no, no. Lenny's angels. Said respectfully. Don't use that word. As in they sell themselves online. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:23 I meant it clinically. You meant by the definition. By definition. I meant it clinically. By definition. Words are cyclical. I think whore is going to be nice soon. Girls already use it in a nice way. You whore. When I was in college, that's a good
Starting point is 00:28:37 example. Such a whore. When all me and my friends, hey slut, hey whatever. That's the way we talk. And again, by definition by definition that is what's going on so doctors would just say that they're both wearing fun athletic socks the only fans gals i don't see them they have red stripes you know they're making a lot of money if they could
Starting point is 00:29:01 spend 20 bucks on socks good i read in teen vogueogue one time that you're more likely to orgasm if you're wearing socks. And I was shooting blanks at the time. So I started beating off wearing Nike Elites. Oh, I believe that. And? I was still shooting blanks for a while more. It's bullshit, dude. Teen Vogue was just saying whatever.
Starting point is 00:29:21 Same with Cosmopolitan. Yes. I'd love to go to the dentist just so I could crack a Cosmopolitan and get a little horny. We've got to start making Amy Smart come on camera again. Yeah. Was Amy Smart? Amy Smart was a... She was in Road Trip?
Starting point is 00:29:35 Yeah. Oh. Butterfly effect. Just Friends? Amy Smart. That's Amy Smart? Yeah. Who was dead? The dragon on his penis? He died at 80. That's him. He'd be smart. Who was dead?
Starting point is 00:29:45 He died at 80. That's longer than I'd give him. Wasn't he like a hermit? Makes you look younger. He does not look 80. Is that a giraffe on his penis? His penis is a giraffe.
Starting point is 00:30:00 I think he has some sort of shawl over his groin. He doesn't have a penis, Kyle? Yeah, I remember it vividly. It was in the book, the picture of his no penis. The picture of his no penis. A guy like that. Most pictures. When he's home alone, he's just like, fuck, this kind of sucks.
Starting point is 00:30:16 Yes. A hundred percent. Or when he just has to go to CVS to get Tylenol. Yeah, because everyone's like, oh, do you regret that? And he has to say no. You can't walk around being like, I'm the guy who regrets becoming a leopard. He wants to go get a beer.
Starting point is 00:30:32 There's a guy on Instagram that's going through like a full body transformation. It's some sort of alien project. He's like cut off four fingers. He's removed a bunch of bones. What? He's trying to like put down. He should be put down immediately. He's like restructured his facial bone structure. What? I, he's like, he should be put down. He should be put down immediately. He's like restructured
Starting point is 00:30:45 his facial bone structure. Like he's on the way. Yeah, I'd like to see him too. He's trying to like become some sort of half human, half cyborg thing. Isn't he like fusing his fingers together
Starting point is 00:30:55 or something like that? He cut off his pinky or his pinky and his ring fingers. One of his surgeons just needs to take one for the team. They're not legal surgeons. Kill him. He's going to like
Starting point is 00:31:02 random countries to get like off-brand doctors that will agree to cut his body parts off it's crazy i remember that too because i was uh when i when i make my pinky bet and there was one season i think it was the texans won like nine in a row and i had to like start kind of considering it and like people were like dude you can't just go to a doctor and have them cut off the tip of your pinky yeah no it's not like something they do that's oh this is this is the shape of water dude get out of here it's a burn mom oh my god i thought it was hot wood yeah i thought it was extremely fuckable in the crushing philly yeah uh i worked the philly tattoo convention and people stood in a line
Starting point is 00:31:47 all day long to get their bodies hooked with hooks and then lifted into the air and spun around. People waited in line for that like a carnival ride. That shit used to be on regular TV. That would be on like 8.
Starting point is 00:32:03 Remember the Learning Channel used to show full surgeries when I was a kid. Like here comes the organ. They would show full ass. I'm so bad when it comes to that shit. You are bad. You're a bad boy. You're so bad when it comes to surgery. Oh Nick. Nick starts getting real
Starting point is 00:32:19 bad. It would be fun if they could figure out enough making fun of me. Maybe the Oculus Like a simulator of like Surgery? Yeah That would be sick
Starting point is 00:32:30 How many times you could kill someone Before you get it right? That would actually be That's a good idea You could pitch that It is heart surgery? It's surgery simulator Alright can we get the Oculus?
Starting point is 00:32:40 Can we do that one day? Yeah I would love to That's definitely nice We definitely have to do that We have to make it. Yeah. Zaw definitely can perform full brain surgery.
Starting point is 00:32:49 Maybe we do it after the case race. Oh, yeah. Drunk surgery. Drunk surgery would be so funny. Oh, man. I think I'd be better if I was drunk. No. That's shaky.
Starting point is 00:33:00 My hands are so shaky. I could never be a surgeon unless I was drunk. Probably nerve damage bro nah it's always been like that probably you're dying yeah you should probably get that checked out I have gotten it checked out they say it's just tremors
Starting point is 00:33:12 you shake until you start drinking again is that because you were what grew up in Sarajevo I don't know what it is I've had it since I was a kid and they're like just go on living with it yeah they're like it's nothing okay
Starting point is 00:33:23 you can cure that shit. Just hit the gym, bro. Yeah, I know. As Rogan said. Yeah. It's impressive you don't complain about it more. Sass meets a kid who grew up in a war, like a war refugee. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:36 Bombings every day, and he's like, dude, I kind of know what you're going through. I kind of went the same thing. I want Sass to go into a burn ward, but Sass has a paper cut or a hat. See who's having the worst day. Yeah, but at least there's medicine for yours. Mine, I have to just have it heal, and I have to use my fingers. It's terrible. Heart burn ward.
Starting point is 00:34:00 Heart burn ward. Ew. You do that? Yeah. Heart burn ward. What are you thinking about, You ood that? Yeah. Heartburn ward. What are you thinking about, KB? What's in that brain? Sleep deprived.
Starting point is 00:34:09 Yeah? Yeah, I'm back. I can't fall asleep anymore. You need to get one of Dave's runoff pillows. Dave's got Boku pillows right now. True. I've been doing Unisom and then five milligrams of wheat. That's my problem.
Starting point is 00:34:23 I started doing the three chi and now I stopped and then can't of wheat. That's my problem. I started doing the three chi and now I stopped and then can't fall asleep. Yeah. Well, that'll probably just take time and then you'll be able to fall asleep again. Thanks. I will. You heard the man.
Starting point is 00:34:38 You should take, you know, those, what are the, fuck, what is the, I take some gummy melatonin things and they literally like, if you take two of them, it's like you can't wake up the next morning because they are so strong yeah that's the worst part of that stuff it's the next yeah never i just get tired yeah me too you fall asleep like a fucking man oh yeah just muscle yourself to sleep. There's that like a fucking light. Kate, how's your sleep been?
Starting point is 00:35:11 Terrible. Yeah. I'm sorry to hear KB's having a tough time. What was that? What was that? Nothing. A dick? Sneak this.
Starting point is 00:35:19 Is it condescending because you have a kid? Well, my problem is like I can never fall asleep before like one in morning. And then the baby wakes up after that like a couple times. I don't think I've slept more than three hours straight in like two years. Oh, Jesus. Wow. I was so fucked. Yeah. That is beyond fucked. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:36 Dude, I have a triple authentication of we have a certified banger taco place in our neighborhood. Yes. I tried it yesterday. It's true. Kate tried it, and then Rico just tried it. Wait, here? And he said it's fucking unbelievable. What is it?
Starting point is 00:35:50 It's a taco place. Dude, it's a cult. It's like a cart. It's a mini cart. It's so tiny. It's just two guys in this tiny little cart. And I knew Roan. I saw Roan eating it.
Starting point is 00:36:00 I got it. And when I walked through the office with it, five different people I passed were like, you found the spot, huh? I'm like, yes. What's it called? There's no name on it really. There's barely a name. It's just like what they're selling. They said that they've been at that location for like two months but they've
Starting point is 00:36:13 been around for 20 years and it fucking shows in the love that they put into the cooking. They have everything. Rico just got pork chorizo and steak. They marinated it in the best possible... It's so fucking good. It's fucking incredible.
Starting point is 00:36:29 I'm getting it again for lunch today. So good. You guys want to go get a massive order of tacos? Let's go get us tacos. I'm down for that. It's cash only. It's cash only, so you know it's good.
Starting point is 00:36:44 I'll pay for it. I have some cash to throw at tacos. Spin it. One name. Eliminator? Yeah, no, not Eliminator. It's regular. Will you spin the regular wheel yet?
Starting point is 00:36:57 We haven't spun the regular wheel yet. I was just saying I'm out tomorrow, Friday, and Monday going to a wedding in San Francisco. And I'm already got FOMO because I think you guys are going to get a wet wheel. We're due. Or get wet with my boys. Might be today. That would be fun. That would be incredible.
Starting point is 00:37:14 Should we do that before we get tacos? So someone has to get wet tacos? Yeah. Spin the real wheel first. Good call. Just in case we have to get wet ass tacos. What was that? What was the sign? KB? I don't know. I'm actually have to get wet ass tacos. What was that? What was the sign?
Starting point is 00:37:26 KB? I don't know. I'm actually willing to get wet. Yeah? You like to get wet? We got to take prank call off there too. Yeah. We can take prank call.
Starting point is 00:37:35 Maybe make that another KB's Wild. Oh shit. No, you know what? Make that Che's Wild. I'd like to see what Che comes up with. In terms of a game show. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:50 Stephen Che trying to create a game show would be... What did we just change that from? From Prank Call to Che's Wild. No more Prank Calls. What did we change it? Oh, from Prank Calls? Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:00 But then I need like a day to prep it. You have the day after. KB's Wild and Che's Wild are always the next day. Okay. Are we just categorically discounting prank calls as an option now? I think we just do it naturally. We kind of peak when you guys are out. We can't prank call people who know what the show is because they know what time it is.
Starting point is 00:38:18 The problem is too, like prank calls, we just realized that, we could just keep prank calling Mincy every day. So, because I don't know, you guys probably missed it, but the next time we hit it, we called Mincy. It was the day Ray Liotta died, and he shared that tweet about his little anecdote about Ray Liotta. It was about him. Yeah, we pretended. It was about him. We pretended we were from the Times-Picayune asking to interview Ben Mintz about the time he met Ray Liotta. You went all in.
Starting point is 00:38:46 You went with just your voice. Yeah, and he didn't know. It worked. Oh, yeah. What is the biggest thing you could convince Ben Mintz? That he's the only man alive with a penis. Yeah. That none of the rest of us have a penis.
Starting point is 00:39:03 You think you could? Oh, yeah. I think you could convince him like. That like LeBron wants to meet him. Like he or the White House has asked for the way to receive a medal. If you call Ben and just like, hey, LeBron, I finally agreed to do part of my take. But he like wants to meet you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:24 I think he would be like, I knew he would. That makes sense. I went to a game in New Orleans five years ago. He was in it. There he is. He's looking great.
Starting point is 00:39:41 He's trying to pick up Large's wife. Oh my god. Look at the head lean. He's probably going back to lunch with wife. He's networking. Oh my God. Oh shit. Look at the head lean. Probably going back to lunch with Stu. He's all dressed up today for Tommy's party. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:51 Tommy's party. That's what he said. I didn't realize Tommy's party was gone. Call him right now. Call him right now. Call him right now. Oh shit.
Starting point is 00:39:56 Oh shit. He's circling. Wait. Wait. He's still there. He's pacing. He's shark hunting. He's pacing like a lion out there.
Starting point is 00:40:05 He looks like. I don't want to call's pacing like a lion out there. He looks... I don't want to call him for my number because he knows me. Someone who doesn't know his number... He has my number, too. He has mine, as well. I just called him for... Call him from the studio. Call him from the studio.
Starting point is 00:40:16 That's what we're calling him for. Okay. Nick, you do it. I don't want to. Kyle. Kyle, you do it. In the meantime, we got gay merch. Yeah, we have gay merch out.
Starting point is 00:40:28 Out and about t-shirts, sweatshirts, and hats. It's not a phase. Sweatshirts, tank tops, and tees. And they're all available at store.barstoolsports.com. What if there's someone who it is a phase for? Yeah, could be. Well, we should have it. Very exclusionary.
Starting point is 00:40:42 It could be. It's just a phase. It's just a phase. It's just a face. They had Chris DiStefano on their podcast. Yeah, they did. Yeah. No, they went on his. Noted gay man.
Starting point is 00:40:54 Is there still beef going on there? Sorry, my bad. I want it to stop. You want the beef to stop? Yeah, people keep tagging you? People are like, dude, Chris, that pussy blocked me because I started a rumor on Twitter that he has child porn. I was like, don't do that. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:41:10 Of course he blocked you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. KB, you're going to... Fuck. All the things that are happening right now that only somebody that could see him would know. What are you doing? What is this?
Starting point is 00:41:24 Fucking a larger Rita? Uh-oh. Your call has been forwarded. Call again. Write it back. that only somebody that could see him would know. What are you doing? What are you talking to, Largerita? Uh-oh. It's been four weeks. Call him again. Run it back. He's a second ring guy. Call it again. Call it again.
Starting point is 00:41:31 He's iced you. Whoa, fuck. Phone in the pocket. Very cool. This conversation must be incredible that they're having. Oh. Oh. You should call Larger's wife and just have her put on mints.
Starting point is 00:41:47 Yeah, can we talk to Ben Mints, please? Put on mints. It's the president. Anybody have her number? He's explaining to her how impactful 9-11 was on him. Yeah. He's calling KB. Should I... He is locked in.
Starting point is 00:42:15 Definitely asking her questions about herself, not talking about himself. So I think he knows the number because of Pick Central. Someone else might have to do it. No, he didn't even look. He knows the number. He didn't look once. He didn't even check his phone. Should it be like, he didn't even look. He knows the number. He didn't look once. He didn't even check his phone.
Starting point is 00:42:29 Should it be like, all right, I'm with the New Orleans Saints. Joe Horn is putting on a fundraiser celebrity. Yes, with his son JC. I don't want to do celebrity. Not a golf scramble or a softball game. Something weirder. Call Large. Call Large. Celebrity.
Starting point is 00:42:43 Call Large and ask Large for Ben Mintz. But Large will know, I think. Celebrity cook-off. Call Large and ask Large for Ben Mintz. But Large will know, I think. Oh, no, no. Call Large and ask for Ben. Yes, yes. If he falls for that. Oh, hurry up, hurry up. All right, well, wait.
Starting point is 00:42:54 Call Large and ask for Ben Mintz. Ask if Ben Mintz is there. KB, ask. Ask if Ben Mintz is there. I'm looking for Ben Mintz. No one look out the window. No one look out the window. Or call and say it's somebody looking for Dave Portnoy. Call and say it's Ben Mintz there? I'm looking for Ben Mintz. No one look out the window. No one look out the window. Or call and say it's somebody looking for Dave Portnoy.
Starting point is 00:43:07 Call and say it's Ben Mintz. Are you calling? Ask if he could speak for Dave Portnoy. All right, KB, you got this. Are we patching him through? He just doesn't look at his phone, dude. Wait, I'm going to call Ann and tell her to suddenly look at him with disgust and then walk away. Mr. McCarthy?
Starting point is 00:43:36 Yes. You happen to be at the Barstool office right now? Who's this? Chaz Gresham with the New Orleans Saints. I'm looking to talk to either Dave Portnoy or Ben Mintz. Okay, and who are you again? I'm Chaz Gresham. I work in PR
Starting point is 00:43:53 for the New Orleans Saints. Hold on one sec. I'm here. Hello? Oh, fuck. Oh! Fuck you, Oh! Large! Fuck you, Large!
Starting point is 00:44:07 Large! Wow, that glass is so big. Large! I think we could still get mints with the same exact length. Yes. Yeah. That would have... That was a baller move by Large.
Starting point is 00:44:24 Yeah, it was awesome. Large, come here. That was perfect. Oh, yeah, hold on. I didn't see you. Did you still get him, you think? That was an incredible baller move to just be like, oh, hold on one second.
Starting point is 00:44:34 Put your phone away. You got a fucking text. Beth. Oh, that was so good. We can still call Ben. Oh, here was so good. We can still call Ben. Oh, here we go. There's a phone call from New York between 1 and 2. Thank you, Friday.
Starting point is 00:44:53 Okay. All right, he's caught on. Shit. God damn. As the only man with a penis, I respect that out of you. That's right. Run like whatever those things are on the internet where it says the wrong location. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:04 We got to start doing that. We got to start breaking that out. Okay. You excited for Tommy's party? He's dressed up. He's dressed up. It has nothing to do with the fact that I have no clean, clean shorts. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:45:13 Love it. Love it. Thank you, Mincy. Best. Tommy's having a party today. All right. Let's spin the wheel. I'm mad.
Starting point is 00:45:21 I thought it was from 6 to 8. I was going to show up at like 9 p.m. I thought it was a joke. Maybe I still will. It's at like 9pm I thought it was a joke maybe I still will it's not 6 to 8 what time is it it was 4 to 6 4 to 6 are you videotaping it
Starting point is 00:45:31 of course are you staying until I want to show up at like 10 let's watch the game you should I kind of want to get everybody going to the party
Starting point is 00:45:41 a costume except for Tommy so everybody goes to his house for a costume party. He wasn't invited. Like, you really can take, he's obviously not listening to this, but you could take ownership of this, of whatever he's trying to do, and, like, just do something better than what he's trying to do.
Starting point is 00:45:55 Get a cake for yourself. Like, I really think you could have everybody wear something. I think that that's not a bad idea. It would just throw a little wrench in it. He tried to invite the dude from Suck Session. Yeah, he did. He DM'd him. He did.
Starting point is 00:46:11 What is Suck Session? Oh, Suck Session. Okay. All right. You got me. Double spin, double wheel spin? Yeah. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:46:28 I'm kind of feeling milk. Feeling milk? Kind of. Oh! And it's milk. Fuck! And someone's going to be drinking. By the way, can we just pull up Kate's tweet from last night?
Starting point is 00:46:43 Oh, no. This is a coincidence. A weird coincidence. Oh. But. You were the one that didn't share. You admitted that it was TMI. I did. If you guys have weird stuff
Starting point is 00:46:58 going on with your bodies, you would say it. I didn't catch the tweet. We'll pull it up. It is perfect for this situation. This is TMI, I guess, but I stopped breastfeeding like six months ago, and my boobs still have milk in them. I know this because every few weeks I squeeze them randomly to check. No retweets, huh?
Starting point is 00:47:17 That's weird. How does she agree on that? Unbelievable. Who can relate? Okay, good night. So now what do we have on the wheel? That's a crazy ratio. Zero, good night. So now what do we have on the wheel? That's a crazy ratio. Zero to one thousand.
Starting point is 00:47:28 So, Kate, the thing I'm most floored by is this is TMI, I guess. What made you think it wasn't? I feel like if you guys had this kind of shit going on with your bodies, everybody would know if your tits had milk coming out of them. That's true. We talk about everything that happens to our bodies. You do. I do squeeze my tits every now and then just to see.
Starting point is 00:47:44 One of these days. Like, oh, is today the day? That's true. We talk about everything that happens to our bodies. You do. I do squeeze my tits every now and then just to see. Something might happen. Like, oh, is today the day? Did you know that guys could, if you started taking certain pills and you started pumping your tits every day, all the time. Start voting liberal. It just happens. Yeah, you can start making milk. And it's beautiful.
Starting point is 00:47:59 It tastes even fucking better. It's just shocking it's still there. I always thought it would be funny, kind of morbid, but if I had breast cancer and took total ownership of it in October, everyone's wearing the ribbons, and I'm like, no, it's for me. It's for you. I have breast cancer. How much would it take for you to do
Starting point is 00:48:16 a sip of dude milk? Ooh. What should we say for the Saudis? Is it more or less than the Saudis? More than the Saudis. Really?. 70 million. More than the Saudis. Really? Dude, I'm lowering the bar. Yeah, I'd do it for way less.
Starting point is 00:48:29 I would do it for like a thousand bucks. You would drink dude tit milk? You would drink dude milk? Is it the same as women tit milk? All right, wait, so we have to spin the wheel now. This has to be done today. So maybe tacos are tomorrow because someone's going to be trying to drink a gallon of milk in the rest of this episode.
Starting point is 00:48:48 It's ten minutes left. Yeah, I know. They have to try to drink it. Oh my god. Eliminator or first? I think it's eliminator. Okay. And then the person who gets picked obviously then they get to decide the next thing. Okay. Because this is the punishment. So who?
Starting point is 00:49:03 Yes, you and Zah can exempt yourself. Thoughts? I hope I get this one. You are a milk fiend. Yeah. Go mad. You.
Starting point is 00:49:16 Okay. I say we leave it. We're not using your immunity. We're not using what? I'm not using the immunity. He's using it. Oh. Milk is on the table.
Starting point is 00:49:26 It's one gallon of whole milk. Whole. That's tough. I wonder which whole. Dick. This is to be done tomorrow, yeah? Oh, today. Right now.
Starting point is 00:49:35 Today? Yes. It's like an hour challenge. Yeah, we'll just do it. So somebody has to run down to CVS or whatever. An hour is crazy. I'm asking Spider to get it. Give the person a half hour.
Starting point is 00:49:46 Or we could do tacos today, milk tomorrow. It's an hour. Oh, let's do a half hour. Fuck it. You're going to puke no matter what. It's way too much. You're not even part of this. You're exempt.
Starting point is 00:49:57 It's your punishment. He's trying to extend his holiday. He's trying to make it like an extra day. All right, spin it. That is his brilliant idea. I'm not going to be here tomorrow, so if it's me, I'm just going to fucking do it. But we all know it won't be you, bro.
Starting point is 00:50:11 We'll get tacos for everyone else. Wait, before we do this, are we going to decide? Do we want to do it right now or do we want to do it like a full episode someone tries to do it? If it's me, I'm going to rip it right now. It's right now, but I think we could extend the show like 10 minutes, 20 minutes. Yeah, we could extend it to like 2.30 or something.
Starting point is 00:50:28 Spider's going to get it right now. Okay, I mean, the challenge is, I'm pretty sure it's impossible to drink that much milk in half an hour, right? Well, it's possible, but you'll have to do it. Let's spin the wheel. Anything is possible. Spin the wheel. Eliminator.
Starting point is 00:50:40 And I don't care if we have to stay in here and miss Tommy's fucking party. I don't care if we have to stay in here and miss Tommy's fucking party. I don't care at all actually His eliminator Thank you Play by Zotmar by Zaha Dog Someone needs to go Smart on Zog. Hi, dog. Someone needs to go. Yes.
Starting point is 00:51:13 Ow, a KB. We should skimboard somebody. What is that? Waterboard them with skim milk. All right, thank you. What was that? Put it into the yak. Thanks.
Starting point is 00:51:24 Is that your milk guy? That's Spider. That's my milk guy. Yes. I'm free. Good job, Kate. Feels good, right? It feels so good. I'm not nervous right now.
Starting point is 00:51:32 When do you guys get nervous? I'm nervous now. I don't get nervous. I get it for three. Three is when I get nervous. Yeah, I guess I'm a huge pussy. Yep. There's so many names left.
Starting point is 00:51:45 Oh, there you go. Owen, you're okay. Oh names left, though. Oh, there you go. You're going. You're okay. Oh, I'm nervous. Oh, I'm nervous. You should be nervous. Oh, man. I hope it's Big Cat.
Starting point is 00:51:51 I hope that. I'm supposed to play basketball. Think of all the proof. Fuck. Oh, God. That's. God damn it. Come on.
Starting point is 00:52:05 Fuck. Are you all right? I'm nervous now. I'm nervous now. You're right. Fuck yeah. Oh, fuck. This is going to ruin my day.
Starting point is 00:52:16 Oh, it's going to be me. Totally going to be me. God damn it. Ron, what did you do to the wheel? What do you mean? I feel like you're disproportionately punished on this thing We'll see It's karma
Starting point is 00:52:29 It's retribution Oh don't speak too soon It's an eliminator so if it lands on you You're out We gotta do best of seven Obviously Wait Well you gotta decide now It's not fair
Starting point is 00:52:48 That TJ's running this wheel Best of seven Best of Seven Best of seven eliminator Best of seven always Best of seven Alright best of seven
Starting point is 00:52:55 I'm not gonna be able to play basketball Let's do a best of six I have to figure out What I'm gonna do First two six Might be good A lot of milk What?
Starting point is 00:53:03 Play some ball Sweat it out Milk Without the milk You can do a best of six If it's a tie you guys split it That's dope Best of six
Starting point is 00:53:10 And if it's a tie you split the gallon Hilarious if it just looks like Rubbed sunscreen Yeah they would You guys are really mad about that That's just two people puking Getting back down I'm like dude are you milk sweating?
Starting point is 00:53:19 Yeah Alright Should we get tacos no matter what? That's a seven Yeah We're gonna need tacos I'll go get tacos no matter what? That's a seven Yeah We're gonna need tacos I'll go get tacos after this I'm gonna have to text
Starting point is 00:53:29 Like This is gonna be a hilarious text Be like hey I'm not gonna make it I have to drink You don't know that yet I'm ready to send that text Oh god Shall we?
Starting point is 00:53:40 Whoever it lands on four times is eliminated Oh whoever lands on four times wins I hope it's TJ Just cause I don't want big cat to make the next punishment win. That's true. Ooh Four out of seven is the winner So first one to four is is is safe think of it this way we this I don't if it wasn't this it would have been a Frank Shoei, oh It could be a Frank Shoei right after I thought we ruled that that was ineligible. Yeah, but now that my basketball game is ruined, it's time to feel some type of way. One.
Starting point is 00:54:09 All right. Frank just has shockingly clean shoes. I don't. I need to do my toes. Yeah. It's like petrified wood. One, one. So old, it's sterile.
Starting point is 00:54:26 High game. I went to my Hi, game. Owen is my dog, dude. I was dead in the water, and Owen fucking, I was underneath the ice and he said, I can't believe that worked. Who won? I'm going to send the text right now. Okay, I'm not
Starting point is 00:54:41 going to make it. I know exactly what you're doing. Yeah, I know. That's why I'm doing it, Nick. Three to one. Big Cat, it's not going to be you. Three to one. Three to one.
Starting point is 00:54:51 But the wheel always brings us back. You're trying to reverse jinx the wheel. The wheel's just you called this man's father a loser. Yeah. That's so. Repeatedly. Is it three one? It's three one.
Starting point is 00:55:00 I'm going to lose. You're not going to lose. Yeah, it is. It's Mario Kart. You know how the wheel works. Is this elimination? No, if I get four, I'm going to lose. You're not going to lose. Yeah, it is. It's Mario Kart. You know how the wheel works. Wait, is this a elimination? No, if I get four, I win. He loses.
Starting point is 00:55:08 He's not drinking. Yeah, I'm one away from being safe. TJ needs to hit three in a row, which is next to impossible. It's impossible. Oh, you motherfuckers. Fuckers. You fucking assholes. Yeah, boy, TJ.
Starting point is 00:55:21 You asshole. It was so improbable. I'm mentally prepared. I've already mentally prepared. I'm going to chug this milk so fast. Boy, TJ. You asshole. That was so improbable. I'm mentally prepared. I've already mentally prepared. I'm going to chug this milk so fast. Text them now. Text them fast. All right, hold on.
Starting point is 00:55:30 Stop, stop, stop. TJ, stop, stop, stop. Momentum, ride the momentum. That's all gray. Genuinely trying to stop it. I actually kind of want to. I might do the gallon challenge at another time just to see if I can do it. You can't.
Starting point is 00:55:48 Yeah, I got bad news for you, brother. Yeah. And it will not only, not only will you throw it up, the poop process is going to be so bad. Anyone can become intolerant after that much lactose. Some people sprout a new asshole after a gallon. All right, so TJ, are you going to come sit in here or what do you want to do? Where's the milk? Damn good question,
Starting point is 00:56:10 brother. I think we go, TJ, so to make it, I think you just drink as much milk as you can in a half hour. When you do this, your gooch expands into a larger asshole. It opens up the portal. Is that fair? Are we all cool with that? He just drinks as much milk as he can until 2.30.
Starting point is 00:56:27 And then what? As long as it's at least a gallon. Yeah. So should we get two gallons just in case he gets real thirsty? Right. How is this so impossible? See, this is one of those mental things. I'm going to try it when I come back.
Starting point is 00:56:38 I think it's an enzymes game. Yeah, I'm going to try it when I come back. Oh, that bag looks heavy. Yeah, it does. Your body can't break that fast enough. All right, TJ, you want to sit in my seat? I'll do the heavy. Yeah, it does. Your body can't break it that fast, huh? All right, TJ, you want to sit in my seat? I'll do the controls. Yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:56:48 Is he allowed to pick? Like, does he have to drink it straight from the jug, or can he pick, like, I want to chug it out of cups? I want to. Or, TJ, why don't you sit in my seat? I'll go get us all tacos. Okay, so I know now why I thought I could do it. I thought this was two gallons.
Starting point is 00:57:01 No. It's one. That's two. You're fucked. Yeah. Never mind. I'm not trying this. That's two. You're fucked. Yeah. Never mind. I'm not trying this. We should have a trash can here.
Starting point is 00:57:09 Wait a second. I thought this was- You are rich. You didn't know what a gallon was? Oh, I thought- For some reason, I always thought this was two gallons. Really?
Starting point is 00:57:15 What's the fucking- Half gallon. The half gallon. Ah, see, I always buy the half gallon. Quarts and pints are also in play. Because no one needs a gallon of milk. Yeah. Only like an Irish mother of 12 needs it.
Starting point is 00:57:26 Yeah. Or like the Grand Cows. I buy milk. I buy those little cartons that they sell at cafeterias. Poor TJ. Have that for a month. Last week. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:35 It goes bad. Here's Zah with the trash can that certainly will be needed. You just sip the one ounce creamers. I ordered empanadas before the show started. I'll just come get tacos if you're done. All right, so TJ, just give an honest effort for a half hour so it's not that painful. Maybe we could pull up like a power hour on YouTube. I'll demo you for a pork one.
Starting point is 00:58:03 What a twist. I will do whatever you get, brother. I'll just get a smorgasbord. A smile. You don't have to memo me. Yeah. What a twist. I will do whatever you get, brother. Just get a smorgasbord. All right. TJ, do you generally do you like milk? Or are you like a guy who drinks milk with dinner? No, you're not a milk. Pretty much never.
Starting point is 00:58:14 Never. Okay. Oof. Your bones are going to be real strong. Me and Owen are about to go get tacos. We're going to get a smorgasbord for the fellas. Just a nice array and the ladies. Excuse me.
Starting point is 00:58:24 I keep on saying smorgasbord. Shocked. Oh, he's going. He's going. Do you wantorgasbord for the fellas. Just a nice array and the ladies. Excuse me. I keep on saying that. Oh, he's going! He's going! You want cups? You won't finish it right away. He's already got a little milk mustache. That is almost a problematic milk mustache. It is. It's very right in the middle. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:38 Oh, man. You know what counteracts a spicy taco? Milk. Milk. Can't wait. Yeah, that's a plus. So TJ, I don't think you're making good time right now. Is there, okay, so 2.30? 2 o'clock. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:52 I think this next drink could get you halfway. That would have been so heartbreaking for me if I had got it and then opened the bag and was like, wait, that's- That's a gallon. A gallon. I don't know why. I buy half gallons every two days for my kids. That was a big chunk you just took there.
Starting point is 00:59:08 Yeah. I would rather chocolate milk if we have syrup in the kitchen. Oh, I can try to find you some. Yeah. Let me go check. I'll go check. All right. See if we have syrup.
Starting point is 00:59:19 I think that might make it harder or not. While you're drinking it, what's your punishment going to be? Oh, that's a good point. I guess me and Zaha have to talk about that. You guys should make it specifically aimed towards Big Cat. Actually, also, by the way, Stephen shouldn't have been on that wheel. That was a mistake by us. He wasn't on it.
Starting point is 00:59:37 He wasn't. Okay, all right, good, good. What would be a good punishment? How about you do a hanging wedge and you have to finish the gallon of milk before you can come down? Or a swirly right after you chug a gallon of milk. That would be so funny.
Starting point is 00:59:55 A swirly in a milk toilet. A hanging swirly in a milk toilet. Getting a swirly while you're just spraying vomit all over. You might drown in milk puke. That would maybe be a little much. I was also going to like, I was about to say that we just had such a great show of us doing nothing but like, you know, riffing and, you know, just having a normal show.
Starting point is 01:00:17 And that happened. Like, hey, we can do the regular shows too, guys. I feel like TJ's going too fast now. I see a lot of opaque plastic. Ooh, okay. He's about a quarter of the way done. That isn't like a win condition. So it's just the faster I drink, the faster I throw up.
Starting point is 01:00:34 Yeah, correct. Correct. You're getting it out of the way, and I feel like the win condition is puking. See? All right, do this. Just see how much you can chug right now. Just don't stop. Let's just see here we go tj tj tj tj tj tj tj tj tj tj he's like growing taller tj tj tj he's doing it folks he's fucking chugging.
Starting point is 01:01:05 Keep chugging. Keep chugging. Go through the wall. Oh, yeah. Hit that wall. Go through it. All right. Okay.
Starting point is 01:01:11 He took nothing off of that. That's a dent. Oh, you're sick. Yeah, you're almost half. They want you to puke into a clear bag. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah, it does. I'll hold it for you.
Starting point is 01:01:21 It's just going to be white. Oh, boy. That was a gross one. Oh, perfect. Up an Alka-Seltzer. Alka-Seltzer could be smart. Fuzzy milk. Alk-Seltzer.
Starting point is 01:01:33 Alk-Seltzer. Alk-Seltzer. Alk-Seltzer. Alk-Seltzer. Alk-Seltzer. Alk-Seltzer. Alk-Seltzer. Alk-Seltzer.
Starting point is 01:01:34 So, TJ, what is your punishment going to be? I don't know. The shooies. I think the shooies should stay on the table. Yeah. Good. It is quite horrific. You want some, like, spicy sauce?
Starting point is 01:01:44 Oh, yeah. I might put hot chip like, spicy sauce? Oh, yeah. I might put a hot chip back on the wheel. Oh, man. I'd rather do a gallon challenge than a hot chip. Hot chip's really that bad? Yes. The pocky. It ruins your whole day.
Starting point is 01:01:54 Yeah, it ruins the next day over. The next day, you're feeling it all day. Completely fine. Day ruiner, yeah. I'll talk this out, though. That might be what I go with. I'm in. All right.
Starting point is 01:02:06 I would love to have a rat tail Alright hot chip One chip challenge Alright so we gotta buy the hot chip Where can you buy that? I think Amazon It's like 15 bucks Alright I'll buy it right now Fuck
Starting point is 01:02:14 15 bucks for one chip They are making That is a I mean there's like a pregnancy warning It is horrific I've done it before It's horrific We did the old ones
Starting point is 01:02:24 Yeah The ones like They came out with a hotter one right? Every year they come out with a new one warning. It is horrific. I've done it before. It's horrific. We did the old ones. Yeah. They came out with a hotter one, right? Every year they come out with a new one. The Pocky, right? Yep. Alright, one chip challenge. 28 bucks. 28 bucks. Jeez. For one? Brilliant. That's awesome. That is smart. Yeah. Alright.
Starting point is 01:02:40 Let's make this disgusting food expensive and just call it a challenge. Yeah. I think that Brandon would die it would we should have put Brandon on the meal right to the store I don't think I've ever done the hot chip it's very bad
Starting point is 01:02:55 it does it ruins your day and then the next day you're like shitting jet black I did the gummy bear that ruined my day too. That one didn't fuck me up that much. It just made it feel like someone was squeezing my stomach the entire day.
Starting point is 01:03:11 I did not like that. Was it Tommy who was like on the floor of the bathroom? Yeah, like naked. Laying down naked. Laying down naked, throwing up. Jay, how we feeling? He's almost halfway. I don't know if I'm almost halfway.
Starting point is 01:03:24 I think the handle distorts it. True. Gets pretty wide down there, too. Yeah. Mercator projection. I don't think a single thing could happen to me that would make me lay down in the office bathroom naked. Infructed.
Starting point is 01:03:38 Yeah, that thing. Infructed in the office bathroom. He's almost halfway done. Almost halfway sucks because you're almost halfway done. Almost halfway sucks because you're almost kinda done. You're almost ready to puke. Is it really bad? Yeah, I can feel it.
Starting point is 01:03:55 You could have used immunity on this, right? Yeah. I've survived now two final challenges. The pinion wedgie was me versus Steven. I've done something in my past life to earn this.
Starting point is 01:04:09 You've earned a scare, but not enough for... Who scares in a row? They're trying to get you on the straight and narrow. They know there's hope in you. I think I'm going to be the hot chip guy. I would hate... Oh, boy. That actually is way worse. The gallon challenge sucks, but you're going to puke.
Starting point is 01:04:25 The hot chip, you just live with that. Yeah, it's not enough food to puke. Right. Puking it would be miserable, though. Puking it would be worse. Oh, it would be so bad. This is a dumb question, but would, like, a beer bong help? Like, for a way you to do it quick?
Starting point is 01:04:40 Oh, I have something. Do you want to try something? I have something in my pile there. Yeah. Yes, yes, please. Keep it down to try something, I have something in my pile. Yes. Yes, please. Keep it down, TJ, until he gets the... Yeah, hold on. Oh, TJ. Working through something mentally right now. You got it. How's the new apartment?
Starting point is 01:04:56 Good. I think the Wi-Fi guy's out there at the apartment right now trying to set it up. Very exciting. He'll be back seven times. Yeah. Yeah. Wi-Fi guys never get it on the first try. No. No, they don't.
Starting point is 01:05:11 There he goes. Going in for another one. His eyes. I can see from here that his eyes are watering. He's got tears in the bottom corner of his eyes. They're glistening. I'm telling you guys, when we did the Kennesaw video, I've seen the milk throw up and it's shut.
Starting point is 01:05:24 It's really. It comes out. it honestly looks kind of cool. It comes out. Marty is getting upset. It's not that gross. Really? It comes back out as milk. It's just straight white. Sometimes a little bit of red. I've never seen the red.
Starting point is 01:05:40 But it's curdled. Milk paired with dinner is disgusting. It was always those kids. Yeah, the coach's son. They would always go to his house. He'd have a dry beef stew, and they would always act like the milk was just delicious. Yeah, they would have the milk in the plastic cups that still had shoe marks around the top.
Starting point is 01:05:57 Yep. Yeah, yeah. What? No, no. When I was younger, my little sister used to put, she would drink milk, and she'd put ice in it. No, no. When I was younger, my little sister used to put, she would drink milk and she'd put ice in it. Ugh. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:08 I remember banana milk was my favorite growing up. Oh, yeah. It was a powder that had bubbles on it from Powerpuff Girls. Oh. Strawberry milk was big, too. You don't see that much anymore. I don't see that much. Never got into it.
Starting point is 01:06:22 Never got into the strawberry? I never liked the strawberry. Just chocolate for me. TJ, how's the plain? Banana. When I was at school, they had chocolate milk on. Plain's going good, though. Sorry we didn't have syrup. Chocolate milk on tap? Oh, fine. I thought you meant airplane. We had so good. We had milkshake-flavored
Starting point is 01:06:37 milk at our school. It was very, very vanilla. It was purple, like the can or the box. The silk? Very vanilla? No, it was actual milk. Oh, yeah. What the hell is this?
Starting point is 01:06:51 That's one of those viral squirt guns. It's a shotgun can. You put the can in and then you shotgun it into your mouth. What? Cock it to crack the can. I'm down to pour the milk in there to try. Whoa. We're trying. It's actually pretty cool.
Starting point is 01:07:05 That's super cool. Oh, yeah. Hey, Mincy. You want to try to pour milk in it? Whoa. All right. Is that wasting milk? I mean, I don't care if it wastes a little bit.
Starting point is 01:07:16 Well, that would be in your favor, right? So you'd want to try this. It'd be crazy not to. Okay, let's try it. You think we can go buy a can of milk? Yeah, yeah. Tall boy. I'll put my finger over this. It'd be crazy not to. Okay, let's try it. You think we can go buy a can of milk? Yeah, yeah. Tallboy. I'll put my finger over this. Oh, TJ,
Starting point is 01:07:29 you are struggling. Yeah, I'm working through. I mean, he's drank a ton of it compared, like, he's doing way better than I thought. This is going to be horrific. Oh, my God. Is this getting on camera yet? Yes. Is it just coming right out the end? Nope, nothing's coming out yet. Oh, my God, this is is gonna be terrible
Starting point is 01:07:46 No No Minty came to take his bag And unplugged your mic Oh dang Oh what happened Did you forget Oh this room is gonna stink
Starting point is 01:08:01 What That's how it's done That can't be the case This room is going to stink. I think I just... No. No? You drink out of here. What? That's how it's done? That can't be the case. So you put a can in, then you go like this, and it cracks the can. Oh, and you do drink out of the other end.
Starting point is 01:08:17 It's kind of drizzling out of the front. It is. We've all been there. Oh, yeah. Maybe it's not as good. You know, that part, the drizzle can't get you pregnant. Thanks, Kate. Oh! We know it can.
Starting point is 01:08:27 Yeah. Is it working? Oh, yeah. Pump it. Puck it. What's going on? Oh, yeah! Oh, you look...
Starting point is 01:08:35 Oh, buddy. Just throw it out in the trash. Oh, my God. We could... Actually, you know what? Save it. We'll use it. We'll use it. We'll use it.
Starting point is 01:08:45 We could have got this sponsored by dairy. The milk's all dried up in it. Well, no. I'll go put it in the shower. Shot fun. You're actually doing pretty well. You're 10. That's how we're going to clean it.
Starting point is 01:08:58 We're just going to leave it in the shower. There's no chance. No, there's a winning respect. This is not like a, this has been done before. This is not impossible. I think it is. It's supposed to be impossible. Your body's not supposed to break down this.
Starting point is 01:09:14 Remember the, yo, can I get this on barstool? And we had the kid who chugged the entire bottle of Pink Whitney. Yes. He's got an Instagram page where he does nothing but chug stuff, and he has one where he chugs a whole gallon of milk. Like two seconds. Yes. He's got an Instagram page where he does nothing but chug stuff and he has one where he chugs a whole gallon of milk. Like two seconds.
Starting point is 01:09:28 Yeah. But it takes a little training I guess. Right. You could definitely do it. Not anymore. L.A. Beast could now. I don't know L.A. Beast
Starting point is 01:09:36 but I used to be a big cactus guy. Does anyone have a funnel? No. I don't think we're going to make it that far. We're not going to make it that far. Oh no.
Starting point is 01:09:44 He's getting defeatism. He's not going to make it that far. Oh, no. He's defeated him. He's going back to the shotgun. Oh, my gins. All right. I'll go wash out the shotgun because that's something I will definitely forget to do. Wow. Want me to go wash it out?
Starting point is 01:09:58 I feel like you're leaving so you don't have to be here when he throws up. No, I want to be here. I can't throw up. What are you thinking of the world? Oh, I just heard that swallow. I was like, oh, God. That was his stomach. How are you?
Starting point is 01:10:16 I can watch it. Yeah. I'm not great with it. I'm not good with it. Oh, I think I even like it. Very sad. Happening? There's something happening. Oh, God. I think I even like it. What's happening? There's something happening. Oh, God.
Starting point is 01:10:31 Maybe shake yourself up a little bit. Bag ready. Maybe a couple, yeah. A little jumping jacks. I have to commend you for it. You're really still. You're really putting it down. You're really giving it your all.
Starting point is 01:10:45 Oh, my God. Oh, good boy. I feel sick. Someone tried to claim that if you mix balsamic vinaigrette with LaCroix, it tastes just like Coca-Cola. What? What? What flavor of LaCroix?
Starting point is 01:11:02 Dumb bitch on TikTok. Convincing everyone. Nick came in the other day with half coffee, half orange juice on ice. Half coffee, half orange juice, half Coke. What? Yes. It was like a real drink he paid for. Horrible. From where? Cool coffee shop down the street that has the semicolon
Starting point is 01:11:24 as a... The clear cups or whatever. Semicolon? Or a colon, maybe. Yeah. It's called, like, and coffee. Mm-hmm. Okay, he's going in for more.
Starting point is 01:11:42 Oh, Big Head's got a funnel. Oh, no. Oh, yeah Head's got a funnel. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. Yep. What is that? What is that? Oh, my God. Yeah, that'll work, TJ.
Starting point is 01:11:53 I think that's where you put it in. You suck it out. It's like a giant syringe. It's going to instantly throw up if we attempt that. Yeah. Let's end this misery. Wow. Wow.
Starting point is 01:12:14 What? Is that how you do it? Yeah. Fuck her out. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Oh, that's definitely not how you do it. Fuck her out Oh yeah Oh god Oh that's definitely not how you do it You guys have just been doing everything backwards
Starting point is 01:12:32 Why would that be the way Oh no Yeah that's just Yeah Yeah that didn't seem like the right way to fill it up We are so dumb Seems like a violation Yeah, that didn't seem like the right way to fill it up. We are so dumb. It seems like a violation.
Starting point is 01:12:51 It's based in your mouth. Yeah, you suck. Wait, suck all the milk out. Put it in his mouth and pull it out. Yeah. Oh, no. I heard that. Oh, God. There's a few coming.
Starting point is 01:13:02 There's a few coming. Oh, man. You're really doing good, though. You's a few coming. There's a few coming. Oh, man. You're really doing good, though. Like, you still have 15 minutes left. I just need to keep finding different contraptions where we can spill out a little bit of milk. Yeah. Yeah, help him out a little bit.
Starting point is 01:13:18 This feels like the scene in Stand By Me with the pie-eating scene. Yeah. Where everyone starts throwing up. You just randomly hear the kid's stomach. Yep. It'd be awesome if we pie eating scene. Yeah. Where everyone starts throwing up. You just randomly hear the kid's stomach. Yep. It'd be awesome
Starting point is 01:13:27 if we all threw up. Yeah. No. This could be like yesterday. Everyone could come in and start taking shots of milk for you. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:35 Oh yeah. Where's the shot glass? If you can get people to drink some milk I think we'll He's already in puke territory. Although I would like you to puke. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:13:43 Oh he is. If you puke you're done. Let's get some puke territory. Although I would like you to puke. I don't know. Oh, he is. If you puke, you're done. Let's get some people in here and do some shots of milk. He's doing a good job, folks. You're making a lot of progress. He is. Really? A lot of progress.
Starting point is 01:13:55 Genuinely shocked. Stephen Chay is just not even here. Can we watch money shots? I. Oh, boy. Oh, let's cut to him? Yeah, make sure you're on TJ. Just stay on TJ. Probably important.
Starting point is 01:14:13 There's something about his eyes that have changed in the last 30 seconds. There he is. Yeah, the TJ we know is dead. He's gone. Long dead. Daily one of Glennie's OnlyFans girls comes out right as I'm... Oh, yeah. I might puke with you.
Starting point is 01:14:30 Oh. Wow. Jesus, TJ, buddy. Mental toughness being displayed right now. It's going to be a good show. Yeah. Good job. Would you like to compete for less milk?
Starting point is 01:14:50 We got some leftover KB's Wild. Less milk, but more Gatorade. Stephen Che tweeted this back in 2009. Fill in the blank. We owe Stephen an apology. Baron Davis did quote. The manual retweet. Remember when you would hit retweet? Yeah, RT.
Starting point is 01:15:10 Dave was doing that for a solid year after it had switched. Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah? Oh, no. Things are happening. Things are happening. Things have been.
Starting point is 01:15:22 I think you've got to go one hardcore chug, and then you'll just start puking. Put yourself out of this misery, TJ. Whoa. Uh-oh. TJ, you know what I think? Stand up. The problem is TJ is the one who controls the cameras. Uh-oh.
Starting point is 01:15:40 Uh-oh. Can we zoom out? Zoom out on him here, because if he pukes, he's going to lean over and you're going to miss it. Yeah, keep zooming. Keep zooming. If he does this, there has to be more of a reward than... I'll give you $300 cash if you do this. I'll throw in $50.
Starting point is 01:16:01 Here we go, $350. Do we have another $50 from anyone in the audience? $50 from Nikki. All right, $400. You got $400 now in $50. Here we go, $350. Do we have another $50 from anyone in the audience? $50 from Nikki. All right, $400. You got $400 now. $400. Sass, KB. I'll throw in $50.
Starting point is 01:16:13 $50, that's $450. I'll bump mine up to another $50. That's $500. New apartment. I'm going to go $200. Oh, whoa. No, no, no. $50.
Starting point is 01:16:21 KB will give you his camel back from yesterday. Yes. Oh, God. Worth $120. That's $620 worth of value. back from yesterday. Yes. Oh, God. Worth $120. That's $620 worth of value. You're almost done. Oh, my God. He's almost done.
Starting point is 01:16:31 It's royalty-free inspirational rap. He's doing it, folks. Oh, my God. He's doing it. Oh, this might be the one that makes him puke. There we go. Now TJ, finish. Fill in the blank in this Che tweet.
Starting point is 01:16:54 Answer the question. Answer the question, TJ. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, yes. No. I'm staring at the.
Starting point is 01:17:11 Oh. Oh, my God. He's eating McDonald's watching this. This is awesome. I love puke so much. Take another sip of milk. I'm trying to find a change. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:17:38 What a fucking beast. I'm sweating. I'm sweating. Oh, my God. This a fucking beast. Oh, I'm sweating. I'm sweating. Oh, my God. This man is built different, folks. Oh, my God. Sass looks like he's trying to shield his eyes from a murder. Sass looks like his parents are fighting in the other room.
Starting point is 01:17:59 He's got his fingers in his ears. Oh, I hate that he's drinking more. DJ, don't do it, man. Oh, he's a beast, folks. And he's committed. Wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend. We could cut ties with all the lives that you've been living in. And if you do not want to drink milk again, we would understand.
Starting point is 01:18:27 We would understand. TJ. We would understand. Okay. What's going on? TJ, what was this Stephen Che tweet about? Who was it about? Look at this. Look what's happening right now.
Starting point is 01:18:47 January 2013, Stephen tweeted, how are you going to be on your second engagement? I'll give him the money. Pregnant with kid number three, and you still got braces. Wait, what was Che's tweet? This is a great crossover now. What was Che's tweet? Che's tweet, this was about a certain person.
Starting point is 01:19:05 How are you going to be on your second engagement, pregnant with kid number three, and you still got braces? What? Oh, my God. You want to know the answer? Is this Amber Rose? Yeah, who is it, Steven? No, it's Leah from Teen Mom 2. Oh.
Starting point is 01:19:21 Mm-hmm. The hashtag TM2 and Leah. Wow. Oh, my God. TJ, this is incredible. Oh my god, he's still going. Oh my god. I'm going to throw up. Oh my god.
Starting point is 01:19:35 My jaw is on the floor. This is insane. You got it? TJ, what's your vent? I don't know why Seth's covering his ears. It's the puke sound. He doesn't like gurgles. I don't mind the puke, actually.
Starting point is 01:19:49 It's just the sounds. TJ, hit me with the Venmo. Yep, hit me with the Venmo. Oh, yeah, hit me with the Venmo. Oh, TJ's Venmo is TJ Hitchings. Yeah, everyone hit that up. Everybody listening. Smack that shit.
Starting point is 01:20:04 Hit that boy's Venmo oh my god oh he's puking again oh I'm sorry TJ what is it TJ Hitchings oh holy shit oh that was Oh. Oh. Holy shit.
Starting point is 01:20:26 Oh, that was the worst sound. Oh, that was the worst sound. Straight milk. Straight milk. That was the worst sound. Oh. Oh. Holy fuck.
Starting point is 01:20:41 Oh, this is funny. On Venmo, you can use the baby's bottle for what I'm paying him for. Oh, my God. I'm sending TJ 50 right now. Holy shit. I'm just sending you 300, TJ. Oh, my God. Jesus.
Starting point is 01:20:57 You got to finish it, though. You got to finish the gallon. I'm sending TJ. Oh, look at that Oh my god That was incredible You got some more in you Don't leave
Starting point is 01:21:13 You gotta get more out Are you gonna puke again? Oh yeah Oh no A gallon of vomit is so much. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me get a picture. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:27 Milk always wins. Oh, my God. Milk always wins. Nothing. Well, Slumdog Millionaire. Oh, man. You did that fast, dude. Did beat milk, didn't it?
Starting point is 01:21:38 Mm-hmm. You did that fucking fast. 22 minutes. Holy fuck. Yeah, that wasn't pretty good. That was impressive. How are you feeling? You got to pu that was pretty good. That was impressive. How are you feeling? You got to puke more, though.
Starting point is 01:21:48 That's crazy. You got more left. Bad. What else do you have to do today? One word, bad. Brandon Walker's show with Rico Bosco. Oh, no. He's easy to work with.
Starting point is 01:22:03 I'm sure he won't give you a hard time. That was crazy. So those tacos are coming? Yeah. Do you think you could eat? You should wait until they get here and then puke right as they arrive. As soon as they get here. Oh, man.
Starting point is 01:22:15 TJ, you're a hero, dude. Could you puke a little bit right now? Like if you could force some out. I haven't really thought about it. Can we grab somebody in here and just be like, tell TJ a joke? And he just throws up milk. That would be so funny. Oh, man.
Starting point is 01:22:32 I need all those clips of all those pukes, please, for my personal files. Super cut. Is there also a way to increase the sound? Because two of those pukes, the sound. It sounded like a waterfall crashing. Wow. Wow. I love this show so much.
Starting point is 01:22:55 All right, I guess that's the show, right? Yeah. TJ the King. Oh, TJ. And then what's on the wheel now? The hot chip. The hot chip. I ordered the hot chip.
Starting point is 01:23:03 It's on its way. I need another element to the hot chip. TJ Hitchcock on Venmo. Wait, you have to do some sort of obstacle course right after you eat it. There's no visual entertainment in just watching someone suffer from spice.
Starting point is 01:23:17 I think there is. You think? Yes. I want more. I think doing the hot chip will be very funny. And watching him sit here. Let's do a hot chip will be very funny and watching him sit here. Let's do a hot chip spelling bee. You have to eat the hot chip and spell. If you get it wrong, there's a penalty. Here's what we'll do.
Starting point is 01:23:33 It might be like a PD. Whoever wins the hot chip, because we've been doing the wheel later in the show, it will be the next show, and they have to do the hot chip right at the start of the show. And then they have to do something. So that way people can watch them for the entire show deal with the hot chip. at the start of the show. And then they have to do something. So that way people can watch them for the entire show deal with the hot chip. Yeah. TJ, you're the kid. You have to do some type of web
Starting point is 01:23:52 seminar immediately after a presentation. You have to give a PowerPoint. Yeah, actually that works. Because you'll have a day to prepare. So you have to give a presentation after eating the hot chip. Yes. Okay. Alright, that's beautiful. On the first random Wikipedia article you go to.
Starting point is 01:24:08 Yeah. Just any subject that you're passionate about. I want them to do a Zoom presentation for a high school class. Oh, we could probably set that up. Like a summer school class. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guest speaker. Call Kate's high school.
Starting point is 01:24:22 We should start doing seminars. We should see if any colleges. Didn't we try and enroll in a college at one point? Kate tried to enroll in UTEP. He got denied. I didn't get any notice from them. You didn't get in. I didn't get in. No way. They had 100% acceptance rate. Not anymore.
Starting point is 01:24:38 99.9. It's fucked up. Still different. See everyone. I'm going to be out. I'm going to miss you guys a lot miss you more please don't get wet wheel if you get wet wheel call me and I will
Starting point is 01:24:49 wet wheel myself okay see everyone tomorrow good job TJ great We'll be right back. It's the X

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