The Yak - Tommy Smokes Pays for Betraying the Show | The Yak 6-19-24
Episode Date: June 19, 2024Brandon battles crampsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Oh, oh, welcome in the yak.
Hello, everyone.
Where's Rome?
He's here.
He's OK.
He'll be on his way in.
Welcome to the yak.
I feel like the TV got moved.
You look closer.
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Happy Juneteenth, everyone.
A lot of people have the day off.
Yes.
Titus, happy Juneteenth.
Happy Juneteenth, everybody.
How are you doing there, Titus?
Big day?
Yes.
And scene.
And scene.
All right.
That was great, Zaha.
Great job.
I think that was a safer play, Titus.
Yeah.
Where's Titus?
He's been thinking about it for a couple of weeks.
And what if Titus just comes out in blackface now?
You guys like that?
Yeah, he probably had this day circled.
He's like, what am I going to do?
What's he going to do?
Fuck, it's on a Wednesday.
What's up, everyone?
Hello.
Not much.
How's it going?
Big Cat, I have a small gift for you that finally came in the mail.
Oh.
Before we start the show.
Oh, you have a surprise too.
Okay.
Sorry.
Okay.
There just wasn't a lot of effort to catch it on his part.
No, no.
It was a sad effort.
Yeah.
Okay. I tried to get one specific kind. They didn't have it. Okay. There just wasn't a lot of effort to catch it on his part. No, it was a sad effort. Yeah. Okay.
I tried to get one specific kind.
They didn't have it.
Okay.
So I went with a more all coverage route.
Okay.
All coverage?
Is that a...
What the fuck is this?
What is this?
What is this?
It's every sweater Sam Barsky has ever...
Oh!
Oh my God.
Hell yeah.
On a t-shirt. It's stunning. All Barsky. Oh worn. Oh, my God. Hell, yeah. On a t-shirt.
It's stunning.
They're all Barsky's.
Oh, wow.
I got to put this on.
Ronan, are you aware of Sam Barsky?
Put me on.
Yeah, we'll put you on, Sam Barsky.
He's a fella.
Who is he?
He's a TikToker or Instagrammer who wears sweaters he makes exclusively.
He makes all his sweaters, right?
So say he goes to see Big Ben in London. He makes a a big ben sweater look at that yeah he's pure he's the most wholesome guy on the
internet and he's just a delight has a wife he does he has a wife and uh he has an awesome football
shirt he sells all the shirts of his sweaters and i wanted to find the football shirt. They didn't have it but he did have one of most
of his sweaters.
What the fuck?
Yeah, look at him. He'll like go
to Pittsburgh and be like, look at him.
Is that the suicide force?
Yes.
It is. No, no, he's not wearing the
hat, the claw hat.
He's just like, oh, I'm in Malibu. I'm going to make a Malibu
one. Love the guy. Are we sure he's wholesome? Yeah. I, look at it. He's just like, oh, I'm in Malibu. I'm going to make a Malibu one. Love the guy.
Are we sure he's wholesome?
Yeah.
I'm almost 100%.
He's not.
I'm going to need everything he's typed in 2008.
We also have Jacob has done an amazing job.
Yeah, really good start.
That is so good.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's amazing.
Perfect.
That'll be perfect for purple hats.
It's going to be tough in the Northeast. It's going to be a hat. Yeah, he started with easy. He started with easy. Yeah. Yeah, it's amazing. Perfect. That'll be perfect for purple hats. It's going to be tough in the Northeast.
It's going to be a hat.
Yeah, he started with easy.
He started with easy.
Yeah.
It'll be a clusterfuck.
For a guy that walked on the, or tried to walk on the Florida football, he seems like he can, like, get shit done.
Yeah.
Your correlations are so off.
I mean, for a guy who's not great at football, he can.
I mean, Florida Gators can do stuff.
For a guy that's not good at football.
He crushed the Doc Ock costume.
Yeah, he did.
He said his dad is like a substitute teacher or something,
and he does that like all the time.
He's got the outlines and boundaries perfect.
Well, it gets awesome.
Michigan.
Upper Peninsula.
Yeah.
Non-existent.
Look what happened to Oregon, too.
But Idaho is amazing.
TJ, Nick's mic is not on.
I said something fucking awesome.
We got the mics.
That won't be a problem tonight.
No, no, I'm glad.
Well, we did use our audio guy for a joke.
That's true.
We're trying to catch up right now.
Zawa's doing that.
Yeah, so tight as the damn good joke, too.
Did you have June 19th circled being like, it's coming?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think that's the way to describe it.
No, I've gotten more DMs in the last three days saying,
I can't wait to see what your costume is.
I can't help but get the feeling that people are,
there's some sort of angle to why they're saying that.
Trying to set you up? Yeah. Yeah. yeah it's weird it might have been the case a lot of white people were very
excited to see what i was weird so yeah um you would have gotten away with it fine yeah
anything is possible yeah fuck it i'll go try it right now Yeah No great Odin Uh Dozen tonight
Yeah you guys excited
We
We have no one left
On the outside
I know
Yeah
Titus
Two people
Yeah no I know
But we've lost
We lost everyone last night
What happened
We lost
We choked
Choke job
I blew
I blew my niche
Yeah
Yeah we just didn't play very well.
The snacks question was tough.
What?
The snacks question.
They asked for a bag snack, and you guys said Cheez-Its.
Oh, the Pirate's Booty.
Cheez-Its are bagged.
They're boxed.
Inside the box.
But there's also a bag.
There's a bag.
We have bags of Cheez-Its down there.
I was literally eating a bag of Cheez-Its before.
What?
Definitely not a bag snack.
There's a bag in the box.
All right, TJ.
It's really easy to play the sport when you're sitting on the sidelines.
No, we suck.
The only one I thought Muhammad Sanu was.
Sanu.
I know that you knew that.
I said it.
I was like, he went to the Patriots.
He kind of sucked.
Yeah.
I missed the first match.
Kinjack fucked you guys?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was kind of fucked up.
In the moment, I assumed he had a brain fart and
didn't know i think he brain played it off that way but now i'm thinking yeah i think he did it
intentionally yeah he smirked and then took said that he said he did yeah he's a he's a real
cocksucker he's a smirker he's smart uh but like i think the reaction would have been different if
he actually was like oh i got fucked like it was immediately it's fine it's i'm blaming myself i need to be better at trivia uh i'm going to study
more so i'm going to step away from some obligations that i do to just study yeah well
the good news is is that kinjack is not playing in a match tonight where his team is going to
need to rely on oh somebody on a phone a friend. No, I would do it.
I would not do that because that's fucked up.
It's a dickhead move.
Yeah.
All right.
Good.
Is Frank okay, by the way?
No.
No.
No.
I mean, like, physically.
No, he's mad about the Kerry Collins question.
What was the Kerry Collins question?
After losing a Super Bowl in the 2000s, this quarterback started for the Titans in 2011.
It's Kerry Collins, isn't isn't it no that was 2010
yeah that has all five so a little bit of a confusing one that is a that's rough that's a
rough question it's okay i mean who are you playing tonight titus uh el presidente dave
portnoy you got no chance you'll get a fairly fairly. Yep. And you guys can just write into the final four.
Well, we're actually playing somebody who's pretty good.
I understand.
Yeah, well, I mean.
The script.
The script being what the script is, I'm still a little nervous.
After last night, the script is going to really be scripted.
I'll have to tell you, I've been argumentative today.
I've been a little catty today.
Why?
I just have. I'm on edge already. It's six hours away. I'm have to tell you, I've been argumentative today. I've been a little catty today. Why? I just have. I'm on edge already.
Six hours away, I'm already on edge.
You catty today?
I made the mistake of inviting
Clemmer on. And that was a mistake.
Brandon spiraled.
Clemmer is argumentative
as fuck. He's been ever increasingly.
Why do you think we sent him on a wild purple hat
goose chase? Get him out of here.
I wanted to do a Willie Mays
eulogy and
it turned into a fight.
Oh no.
You fought a plumber?
Just argumentations.
At what point
can I post the Willie Mays Barry Bonds
picture? Because that was the first thing that popped in my head.
I think you're, he was 93.
I think you're good to go.
Yeah, dying of old age is, you can kind of joke about it.
Great life, yeah.
Okay, so maybe I missed the window.
It's late now.
The window exists from now until it's the picture.
If you tweet it, I'm responding a little late.
Oh, you never seen the picture?
Barry looks just fantastic.
Barry Bonds tweeted a picture of he and Willie Mays about 10 years ago.
Oh, when he's in the casket?
Yeah, and I thought he was dead then.
Yeah.
Or when he was laying on a couch or whatever.
Yeah, he was sleeping, and it was the weirdest picture ever.
I remember this now, yeah.
I think Willie Mays went trending then.
Yeah, there it is.
Oh, my God.
I need Barry to tweet that picture.
Yeah, he posted that, yeah.
Did he?
No, no, no, no.
I wish he would, yeah.
Hey, what's on your shirt somebody are breastfeeding yeah yeah yeah it's a breastfeeding shirt somebody sent me a box of
vintage shirts it's world world walk for world walk for breastfeeding oh what were they trying
to accomplish just use the words wait that sucks to have to walk and breastfeed. And breastfeed, I know.
Run a 5K doing it or something?
Yeah.
I don't know.
What are they accomplishing?
The La Leche League.
They're like militant about breastfeeding.
What?
Oh, yeah.
It's a whole thing.
Angry about breastfeeding?
Like violent?
No.
Like I followed their Instagram for a while for some reason,
and I remember their 9-11 post was this firsthand account
from some woman who was at the Pentagon,
and it was about how she found a spot to pump after the Pentagon was hit.
That's a hero.
They're 24-7 breastfeeding.
Yeah, patriotic, too.
God bless.
What does the organization do?
I don't want them to come for me.
They just tell people to breastfeed?
I'd hate to get attacked by a baby.
Yeah, but if they see again they're like if they
see you using formula it's on site oh oh so they were like kitty milk on you yeah exactly pita
yep yeah yeah mostly just supportive and helpful i'm sure but they're pretty serious about you are
wearing their shirt it's a good shirt it's like nice and loose. It has a shorter cut to it. I feel kind of hot in it. Like you.
Yeah.
Brandon, have you ever heard of the wrestler
The American Power Child?
I've never heard of The American Power Child.
Is that a real wrestler?
Yeah, you should look him up.
I will.
Because you know him.
Who is it?
Oh!
No way!
What the fuck? Oh, Big Justice justice's dad used to be a wrestler what the american power child
an awful name that's not a good name what's a power child yes
well he had one yeah he did that career didn't work out so he had one. Yeah, he did. That career didn't work out, so he had another American Power.
Wait, I want to see this again.
Is there any clips of him actually wrestling?
I don't know.
I kind of need to see it.
Look at that frame.
It's all mass.
It is all mass.
It's just...
Guys, I'm having a bad memory day.
Who is that?
It's Boom Guy!
Boom!
Boom!
We're Costco guys.
Play a video, TJ.
Sorry, sorry.
You were probably prancing around the fucking children's hospital.
We just got these new fruit block snacks
inspired by your favorite...
Wait, were you not here during any of these?
Was this last week?
We've done this like eight times.
We're Costco guys, of course we like hot dogs.
Yes! The Rizzler! Rizzler's back! No. We've done this like eight times. Yeah. These are the Costco guys. We're Costco guys. Of course we like hot dogs. Yes.
I remember that.
The Rizzler.
Rizzler's back.
Our child.
This is the Apple and Strawberry Unspeakable.
Hey, Unspeakable.
Why aren't you going to have us at the house?
We could go on jet skis, go on the lake.
What?
Let's see what they got on the boom meter.
I'm going to say five booms.
They get a five out of five boom.
Oh, shoot.
You saw this one.
You saw this one.
No way you predicted that. You're right. You saw this one. You saw this one. No way you predicted that.
You're right.
You saw this one before, didn't you?
Any guesses?
These are really good.
These get a five on the boom meter.
Please don't tell me they sold out.
This is a ninja kick.
They get it on the boom meter.
Give it a three.
Give it a three.
Three and a half.
That's going to get a five out of five. Barely tasted it. Boom. Rizzler. Get on the boom meter. Give it a three. Give it a three. Three and a half. That's going to get a five out of five.
Barely tasted it.
Boom.
Boom.
Boom.
Boom.
Oh, that last boom was good.
Three o'clock snacks, get a big boom.
Oh.
I'm backing on the Rizzler.
Oh, I love the Rizzler.
You were out on the Rizzler?
We were out on the Rizzler.
Yeah, remember we were like, oh, it's his dad.
No, it was his dad. It was his dad. It was his dad. Yeah. But yeah, the Rizzler. You were out on the Rizzler? Yeah, remember we were like, oh, it's his dad. No, it was his dad.
Dad, we're definitely out on.
It was his dad.
Yeah.
But yeah, the Rizzler, he's electric.
I need more Rizzler content.
I need more fruit snack tasting unless I'm trying to walk down the stairs of the attic and I'm scared.
Yeah.
All of a pussy.
Look at me neglecting you.
What was that, TJ?
That was fun.
What was that video?
Just a funny quote to it.
Oh, it was, as more and more items are in five out of five booms on the boom meter,
I begin to question the integrity of the boom meter.
That's fair.
Oh, no.
Get him.
Attack.
The boom meter is, are we worried about it?
I mean, you got to ask questions.
No, why can't guys just like everything?
He loves everything.
Three different people tried three different fruit snacks, and they were all perfect.
When was the last time you had a bad fruit snack?
That is true.
1986.
Yeah, see?
I got molested with one.
Yeah?
It was a bad fruit snack.
Was it?
Uncle Charles.
Was it sharp?
Did he call you a fruit snack?
Eat you up?
Did you have a...
I didn't have a Uncle Charles.
Okay.
He was my neighbor.
Okay.
I wish we had more Rizzler news.
Oh, we do.
He's been playing football with Big Justice.
What?
Oh, really?
Yeah, dude.
I've been all over it.
Big Justice and Rizzler are playing football together?
I'll try to send something to TJ.
For the Memphis Doughboys.
You need a Rizzler news correspondent.
Brandon, why you got so much room in your heel?
Oh, my God.
Those shoes are too sizeable.
You ain't got feet like that.
Oh, my God, Brandon.
You got the White Sox Daves on.
Uh-huh.
Look at this.
Brandon.
I didn't buy those shoes.
Brandon, you could fit a nectarine In that hole
Oh my god
At least a cutie
My kids bought me
These shoes
For my birthday
A couple of months ago
I didn't size them myself
There's
I usually wear 14
These are 15s
Sometimes
You wear 15s
I'm wearing
Well I wear a 14
14
Those are wearing you man
Those are great
They're not that bad
They're about that
That much Your kids were calling you A clown with these No they were Buying me of 14. Those are wearing you, man. Those are great. They're not that bad. They're about that much.
Your kids were calling you a clown with these.
No, they were buying me a nice
white pair of Nikes that I could wear for the
summer. And that's what I've got
on right now. But they're a little...
Something you could swim in. They're a little loose.
I'm not going to lie. Yeah, those are loose.
They're a little loose. That's fine. I didn't mean nothing by it.
You kind of did, though.
I couldn't stop looking at it.
I've been struck with silence the entire time just. I didn't mean nothing by it. You kind of did, though. I couldn't stop looking at it. Yeah, you kind of did. I've been struck with silence the entire
time just because I couldn't stop staring at them.
Say something nasty about me.
It'll balance things out. Nobody can say anything nasty about you.
That's not true. Nothing nasty to say.
There's plenty, but he'll just be meaner back.
I know. It's a trap.
It's definitely a trap.
It's a trap.
Bye for one love run.
Very nice, Nick.
Bought yourself six months.
Do we have more Rizzler content, TJ?
Who is this 4'2", 120-pound football player?
Oh, that's bad as fuck.
This is Christian Joseph.
No, don't say that about the Rizzler.
He's an offensive line and has a move.
Oh, he can't.
But don't sleep on the Rizzler because he's also an elite route runner.
Could you guard the Rizzler? That's also an elite route runner. Could you guard the Rizzler?
Oh, it's a guy.
Yeah.
We need more updates on the Rizzler.
TJ, you got anything in the booth?
Oh!
No way!
That's another surprise.
What the fuck?
It's the guy.
We have a Rizzler update?
It's the guy from the thing.
Oh, no way!
It's the non-plinking man. It's the guy. We have a Rizzler update? It's the guy from The Thing. Oh, no way. It's the non-plinking man.
It's the guy from The Thing.
Oh, my.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Give it to us.
Oh, yeah.
I know.
The Rizzler.
I got footage of him playing baseball the other day, so I think he might be the best hitter
in the MLB, but we'll see.
You got footage of the Rizzler.
Dude, we have IRL brain rot.
Yes.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
What a surprise.
That threw me for a loop.
Yeah, that was my surprise.
So Henry interviewed for the PMT internship this morning.
He walked in.
I was like, what the fuck?
And I was like, go sit upstairs and hide because you're going to come back for the yak.
Yeah.
So he's here.
What's up, Henry?
Not much, yeah.
Just been waiting.
When he duped us originally, we thought that was his real shtick.
Yeah.
We thought he was real.
But you piss off a lot of people with that, right?
Yeah, I know.
It's like one of my big concerns coming for the PMT interview today.
I'm like, I hope they know I'm a
normal person and it's like satire
that I'm not actually just stalking
kids 24-7.
Yeah, he's the
one who created the Baby
Gronk, Baby Diggs feud.
I want to see that original.
Wait, did you coin the
Rizzing Up Baby Gronk? Yeah, I had
the Baby Gronk rizzed up.
I want to watch that one.
You're shaping generations of children.
You've done a lot of harm.
A lot of harm.
I know.
I feel like I have all my fans, a lot of my fans are, like, middle school kids. And if I ever see any of them in person, they'll be like, baby Gronk, baby Gronk.
Like, the worst chirps I got, and, like, I play lacrosse.
And, like, I'd be playing a game.
And, like, one game we were just getting blown out.
And, like, I was in.
And they were, like, kind of just holding the ball.
And, like, I have this kid across the field yelling, Livvy Don rizzed up baby grump.
Wait, wait.
I'm like, we're already losing.
Like you don't have to rub it in anymore.
So have you been like mobbed by 11-year-olds in public?
Yeah, so both my younger siblings are still in high school,
so I'll go to their sports games and like they'll be fans there
and they're like, oh, you're like the baby grump guy.
And I'm like, yeah.
And sometimes like they don't want a picture or anything like I don't know like what you
want me to say I want to see one get created
live yeah like a ring light or something
yeah I could do that
what should we talk what should it
be about yeah you were probably watching
the yak when we started doing that with sass when we
started creating them live yeah my
favorite one was the one like made about the guard passing out.
Oh, yeah.
Because I had a phase where I was trying to do it for like two weeks.
Then it gave up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So credit to you.
Wait.
So can we see the original?
What was the original?
The original one was like a baby Gronk rizzed up Livvy Don.
I made it like in March of 2023.
We were actually traveling for a game, and I remember I was making it on the bus.
And the kid's like, what are you doing?
And I'm like, Baby Gronk met Livvy Dunn.
And he goes, okay.
And it was like some freshman.
And he was like, he had no clue.
Yeah, he just didn't fucking get it.
That video is going to be studied by, like, college classes in the future.
It was the first domino of a downfall of society.
Yeah.
And then, wait, so did you find Baby Diggs?
Yeah, so I saw.
Like, so these kids will sometimes tag me in their videos, like, I'm so much better than Baby Gronk.
And, like, sometimes the videos are just videos like i'm so much better than baby gronk and like sometimes the videos are just like whatever but like you can kind of see like okay like this kid will like
he has the potential to go trending because he's like pretty funny yeah don't work yourself into
a shoot brother wait so you and you have rizzler uh baseball footage yeah so some kid dm me the
other day goes i i found i have this footage of the Rizzler playing baseball.
I don't know if you want it or not.
Of course you do.
I just sent him back the emoji of me, like, the pen writing down notes.
I was like, this will be used eventually.
TJ, can we find the original Baby Gronk versus Baby Giggs?
So how many followers do you have?
I have 220,000.
Libby just convinced Baby Gronk to commit to LSU.
Baby Gronk is the number one college football prospect in the country.
He averages 300 yards and five touchdowns a game.
On his visit to LSU, Libby rizzed him up.
Libby even called Baby Gronkk you might be the new rizz king
do you think baby gronk will lead lsu to a national championship
it's genius that's a good bit shit what's funny about it too is that like it didn't like that
didn't like start trending or go viral for like another like two months after that was made like
i remember i just saw my face like kind of trending on twitter one day i'm like what is
going on oh that's so funny i mean so for a while it was just your friends that were seeing you do
that yeah that's a nightmare like that getting 25 likes just doing it for the love of the game
it got like a decent amount of views originally where enough where i could be like okay like
it's not that embarrassing.
But definitely when you're telling your roommate in college to get out of your room because you have to report on baby Gronk and Libby Dawn, it's like, you're kind of like, okay.
Oh, shit.
All right.
Well, thanks, Henry.
I appreciate you stopping by.
Thanks for having me.
Have you made money from this?
Yeah.
I'd imagine. Have you? Have you made money from this? Yeah. I'd imagine.
Have you?
Have you made money from this?
Oh, yeah.
No, the big thing is YouTube Shorts.
They really like Baby Gronk and Big Justice.
The man's cracked the code.
Oh, you must have been pumped when the Rizzler came up.
I know, because both their dads text me, and they're like...
The power child?
They're like, hey, we met this guy.
His name's The Rizzler.
We filmed a video with him.
He's a really good guy.
You should make a video about him.
I saw that footage of him running underneath the guy to make the tackle.
I'm like, yeah, this will probably go viral.
He's a really good guy. He's eight.
He's a solid dude.
Family man.
Alright, well, Henry,
we'll be in touch going forward.
Perfect. Thank you.
Hopefully I hear from you guys soon.
Alright, have a good one, man.
Thank you.
Alright, there was my surprise.
I was starstruck when he walked in.
Jake, you brought up how does that Yeah. All right. There was my surprise. Holy shit. How did it all come together? I was like starstruck when he walked in. Yeah.
Jake, you brought up, how did that?
That was organic.
From the wrestler to the. That was organic.
That was insane.
I had no idea.
I told him to come down 20 minutes into the show and give us an update on Baby Gronk,
but then as soon as Nick said that, I was like, have him talk about the Rizzler and
show up.
Damn.
That worked perfectly. that was beautiful.
Yeah.
Masterful.
That was masterful.
So back to Brandon's crazy shoes.
No, why?
Just very big.
What are you doing?
I'm just wearing shoes.
If you step on your toe, it won't hurt.
It's fine.
Aren't you going to be distracted by my toe real quick?
Yeah, how are you going to pace?
Ow!
Are you going to get a blister?
Huh? Yeah, this might. I to pace? Ow! Are you going to get a blister? Huh?
Yeah, this might.
I brought different shoes for this show.
Okay.
I brought a backup outfit.
What type of Brandon are we getting tonight?
Are we going to get the pace thing?
I'm already telling you that I've been a little...
He's a little irritable, yeah.
A little irritable, a little combative, a little off my game.
So hopefully I'll be able to take a nappy poo and then I'll be good.
Oh, a nappy poo and then i'll be good yeah nappy poo the the disappointment from last night was that roan had one of the greatest
comebacks in uh bonus round history and it will be always forgotten no one cares for one no one
cares about an awesome of a losing team no one gives a fuck it doesn't uh but it is a testament
to how good the game is because it's just sad to lose.
You want to win.
Everybody wants to win.
And then Che blew it.
Question.
No, Che didn't blow it.
I got nothing right.
I got nothing right the entire time.
Oh, yeah.
You guys lost to the Booze Ponies who are in the final four.
But Fights is in France now.
Correct.
But that wouldn't have been the case if the Beer Olympics didn't make the dozen move.
Correct.
And Will's team now is downed Fights because of will because of will wow yeah yeah i'll be it's
quite something who's the most likable team left probably the experts not the experts uh booze
ponies booze ponies i would say yeah booze ponies by far. They're the most likable team. They got Brandon, which is not likable.
Dave, not likable.
Cunt.
Ken Jack, not likable.
And then...
Titus.
And me.
No, but I'm saying the booze ponies don't have anyone I dislike.
Roan publicly hexed Uptown Balls last night.
Yeah.
Did you?
Well, you don't want to see Tommy win.
You don't want to see Tommy and Glennie.
Or Glennie was too jubilant when we lost.
Was he jubilant?
He whooped it up.
He literally gave like a hooray.
Oh, shit.
I didn't even see that.
So he preferred the matchup with the Ponies.
I don't know.
But even if that's your preference, thrusting your hand into the air like it's the end of an 80s movie.
Why did a ball just get thrown at us?
I was a real sad boy after.
That hurt.
You wanted to win.
You cared.
I wanted to do a live show.
Live shows are fun.
Yeah, they are.
It sucks.
You got a little stitched patch on your shirt.
I know.
Now we're patchless.
Yeah, and Jeff asked me to do
the intermission at the live show.
I said, I don't want to go to the Super Bowl.
Yeah.
Yep.
I passed, too.
Yeah.
You're like the college basketball coach on CBS.
Yeah.
Sweet 16.
What am I going to do?
I'm sad.
Tough look.
Yeah, like the kid who got six that districts go into the state tournament.
Right.
Just a watch.
Are the Frank and the Frankettes going to maybe break up?
Oh.
Oh.
No.
Because the body language wasn't good.
What Frank did was unacceptable.
Yeah.
Yeah, he was extra Frank.
Early, too.
Early.
Early on.
Early.
It was a lot.
He's screaming at the top of his lungs.
Immediately.
Yeah.
That ain't new.
I'm fine.
But he ramps up to it.
He was doing it like question two.
Right off the get, yeah.
Boundaries are high.
Commandeered the marker.
Oh, he did. Oh, oh man are there multiple markers yeah we only had one working oh no so is there trouble in paradise we have a long off season okay uh the frank and the frankettes
will always exist yeah that that is the truth like you gotta you can't make any rash decisions
absolutely i was i was contemplating retirement last night.
Yeah, right.
I talked to Frank this morning.
He was cool.
Yeah, I woke up and I was like, I can't retire.
Jeff said that it's not happening, but he was talking about just putting everybody in a pool.
Oh, that'd be fun.
I would love that.
Yeah.
Maybe just for like a tournament or season or like a temporary.
I think all options are on the table.
Yeah.
Brandon, would you be mad if you fell down the draft board?
Or like I know Jeff's been talking about it.
I don't think you'd be a lottery pick.
But doing an expansion.
I'd be a lottery pick.
Hold on.
I don't think you'd be a lottery pick.
I wouldn't be a top.
What would a lottery pick?
Top eight.
I'd be a top eight pick.
Who are the top eight scorers in the league right now?
I don't know.
But you have. That doesn't count. You have red flags. No, but those are the captains. I don't have red flags. You're a locker eight pick. Who are the top eight scorers in the league right now? I don't know. That doesn't count.
You have red flags.
No, but those are the captains.
I don't have red flags.
You're a locker room cancer.
You are.
You're a me guy.
I think my team would ride or die for me.
They would.
Yeah.
Because PFC's a nice guy of all time.
Fran's also a nice guy.
Fran's a nice guy.
Well, she'd be the captain.
That's probably who it would come down to.
She's the leading scorer on your team?
I don't.
We don't.
Individual number. You guys don't. Individual numbers don't matter.
You guys don't keep track of that?
No.
Jeff keeps track of every exhale.
Yeah, we don't do numbers on my team.
But, like, if you were looking at the draft board right now, it's like, oh, we can get
Eddie or Glennie or Dana.
Mm-hmm.
Less red flags.
Tommy.
Yeah.
Those guys are going to buy in.
Mm-hmm.
You get Brandon, it's like, well, he's going to make it.
I think Brandon fucking Walker's going off the board pretty early.
You think you're top five?
Top five might be a stretch.
I think you are.
Between top one and three.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It would be fun, though, to see everyone in a big pool.
I think feelings would be hurt.
Probably.
If we got it actually in a pool.
A pool, yeah.
There has to be a pool.
A swimming pool. Yeah, you have to tread water until you got
a wave pool with big ass waves.
It's 20 minutes
between each pick and it's like you could
die. Yeah, that's on the table.
Chase trying to do
handstands off to the side.
You guys ready for the case race tonight?
I'm really excited. I'm serving my energy
My spoken word
It's a lot
It's going to be three hours of performing
What kind of PEDs?
Nick, you always talk about the PEDs you do
What is the rest of the room?
I'm drinking beforehand this time
We're drinking beforehand?
I'm refereeing
Eat a sandwich
She legit in Makuna
What's that? It's these things that I take every day We're drinking beforehand? I'm refereeing. Eat a sandwich. Eat a sandwich. She legit a Makuna.
What's that?
It's these things that I take every day without feeling any measurable difference.
Shelajit?
She legit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sounds like a Lion King saying. Yeah, it does.
She legit a Makuna.
What is this?
What's the fabric today?
This is Berkshire herringbone and ecru.
Oh, it's nice.
No, you can't say every piece is nice.
Five out of five.
What do we think about this shirt?
What do we honestly think about this shirt?
I like this one better than yesterday's shirt.
It looks like a fishnet.
I think it rocks.
I think it's better than yesterday's shirt, in my opinion.
Is it see-through or is that a pattern?
It's holey, but not see-through.
Could a nipple pop through?
Not mine.
You got tiny nipples?
No, it's the opposite.
Quarter-sized, average.
Quarter the size of a nipple?
No.
I like it. I think it's nice. It looks like a breeze.
It looks nice.
It's cold in here.
You don't like it that much. I loved it. That's why I put it on. Seemed like you were not It looks nice. It's cold in here. Your nipples have to rock hard.
I loved it. That's why I put it on.
Seemed like you were not confident in it.
You can't dress
for yourself. You gotta dress
for your audience. For us.
For you guys. Oh, we missed the shorts.
Look at the shorts. The shorts stink.
Oh, yeah.
I'm wearing all of them.
Can we see a little twirl?
Yeah, twirl.
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
Yeah.
That's nice.
You might need to switch up the footwear to match all this.
You might need to have something that's more earthen and less athletic.
Maybe even a sandal.
Yeah, I put on Air Max's all whites.
Too much?
Yeah, it was too much.
What about some kind of loafer or Birkenstock or something like that?
Like a boat shoe?
I can't.
I can't do it.
I can't make that leap.
With no socks?
I think that's disgusting.
I agree.
I'm looking to make that leap, and I'm balking.
I can't make the Birkenstock.
It's foul.
It's back, though.
You're going to sweat, and it's going to reek.
It's going to pool up.
Yep.
They haven't improved the technology where they could vent it or something like that
or have some type of drainage system like a trumpet.
I like the feeling of socks.
Yeah, but it's not about feeling.
You just said you're not dressing for your feeling.
You're dressing for the gaze.
What?
Yes.
Oz.
Max, can you grab me a water?
Thank you.
I forgot to hydrate.
He's walking with peanut butter and hot sauce.
Almond and peanut butter.
Peanut butter and hot sauce.
What an idiot. What an idiot.
What an idiot.
Oh, my God.
I got more unfortunate news about the Beer Olympics today.
What?
Pat Bev dropped out.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Not like this.
If we get more dropouts, you think the Boston boys will invite us back?
You guys?
No.
It seems like they do a hard line.
I think they just not do the Beer Olympics.
They do a hard line.
It is really funny that Will fucked Will with the fights thing.
And now the, yeah.
Thank you, Max.
That's bad.
What was the peanut butter and hot sauce for?
You're sponsored by peanut butter and hot sauce?
No, no, don't spoil it.
Is there a peanut butter hot sauce combo somewhere?
Like, swirled in?
Yeah.
There's got to be a spicy peanut butter.
I don't know that I've ever seen a spicy peanut butter.
I'd be willing to try it.
I think it would work, though.
Dip celery in it?
It's like Thai food.
Oh, yeah.
We're doing PMT interview today and tomorrow,
and we had a guy come in named Chris Rinaldo, very Italian,
and we had Max walk in,
and they immediately just started arguing with their hands.
That's awesome.
I got beef with one of them.
Who?
I don't know which one.
I hope not Matthew.
I don't know which one because Blutman said there was one that is a college football specialist and blutman asked the question who
would you least like to meet here and he said brandon walker oh so i've got to meet i like
that i've been trying to meet him all day there's one kid i got my eye on who kind of looks like
john candy oh you take i saw him yeah he's dressed up nice honest Honest to God, I thought. He had a massive sweat on his upper lip.
Yeah, I like that.
That's a good sign.
That's a massive sweat.
Massive sweat.
Massive sweat.
Yeah, it's glistening.
Yep.
Remind me, I have a guy for you.
Oh.
Yeah.
For this?
But it's serious, so I don't want to joke about it.
Yeah.
He made a video.
Oh.
Just consider.
Wow.
Yeah.
When did you guys find out about jake when do we find out
about him that he's that he's uh bouncing it's been like four months oh really yeah we've been
we've been talking about when the timing would be good for him after nba finals he gets the whole
summer to see if you know anyone wants to grab him up for college football he's not leaving bar
stool for right now he's got the rest of his contract.
He's going to blog from home and try to throw himself all the way into announcing.
Good for him.
Yeah.
I'm excited for him.
Happy for him.
I was pissed.
This hurts me bad.
Yeah.
Oh, you got to do it.
A lot more.
He was great to work with.
Great to work with.
No, he's the best.
I could take 20 minutes in between thinking of jokes while he just feel he was it was great to work with yeah to work with no he's the best because i
could take 20 minutes in between thinking of jokes while he just talked yeah but it's hard it's a hard
decision he had to make but he i think it's the right one that he's making because it's like
he could keep working a part of my take but i don't think he'll ever get where he wants to go
in broadcasting if it's like one foot in one foot foot out. He was like, I could look up in five years
and I'll still be at Barstool.
I was like, stop telling me about myself.
I can leave me alone, asshole.
A little bit of that where I was like,
look, when he came to me and we started talking about it
and like talking it through, I was just like,
look, like I think you should do whatever you want to do.
But like, yeah, there's definitely something to be said
for like in five years if like PFT and I
don't want to do it anymore.
What's next for you?
So and like that always, I think, was in the back of his head.
I was impressed, too, how he was like, you know, notice how I never cussed.
I never did it because like he had that foresight.
And I'm like, that's a different kind of brain than mine.
Yeah, that's a smart man.
No, I never wore any breastfeeding shirt.
He's a fucking crazy hard worker.
So, yeah, we're Team Jake forever. breastfeeding shirt. He's a fucking crazy hard worker.
We're Team Jake forever.
There's other good play-by-play guys that could fill into his
partnership with you though, Nick. I feel like
Tommy was an original play-by-play guy.
Scoof.
Scoof's stock is
It might be
going too high right now.
It's really high.
I have a feeling, and correct me if I'm wrong, Ramian,
he would turn into a monster.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, he's outwardly saying right now he's turning himself into a weapon.
Right, and he's like saying like really...
He said that?
He's like trying to turn himself hot.
Yeah.
He is very...
He's very horny.
Yeah, oh, yeah.
What?
Wait, wait, wait.
Like physically a weapon? Like he's getting ripped? Yeah. I'm becoming a weapon. Yeah, oh yeah. What? Wait, wait, wait. Like physically a weapon?
Like he's getting ripped?
Yeah.
I'm becoming a weapon.
Oh, he's fucked.
I did that last summer.
What?
Also, he's...
I'm sorry.
That was a genuine reaction from me.
The kickboxing shit.
What did you say?
I'm becoming a weapon.
He did two classes of that
and then got beat up by a girl.
And the whole thing...
I was on the track to becoming a weapon and then...
You lost a fight to an armless dummy.
So without
at risk of plugging something,
Scoof is releasing an hour of his trip
to North Dakota today.
Oh, it's the silent hour?
It's him riding down the road with Blutman silently
for an hour.
Love that.
And it'll probably be the biggest thing in most of sports.
Do we have a trailer?
Yeah, we. Love that. And it'll probably be the biggest thing in mostly sports. Do we have a trailer? Yeah, we'll trailer.
God damn it. They're so perfect.
Oh, it's gonna be so perfect. Oh, it's going to be so good.
The no music thing is crazy.
I do agree with him.
If you're driving with someone for a long time, you don't have to talk.
I'm fine with the not talking.
Not talking is...
You don't want someone who wants to talk.
But he takes silent road trips by himself.
Yeah, that's weird.
He doesn't turn on the radio at all.
That's weird.
No podcasts, no music, no anything.
That's weird.
Raw dogs.
That's tough.
That's odd.
Yeah, that's very odd.
It's also like weirdly loud when you're on the highway.
Like the wind and everything.
It's easier for the driver though.
Yeah.
There's like a focus and stimulation.
Yeah. Passenger can just a focus and stimulation. Yeah.
Passenger can just zone out.
I did it with all business Pete.
We did, like, a six-hour drive.
What?
Together one time.
He listens to comedy.
I would rather be tortured for two years.
He listens to comedy podcasts on, like, 3X speed.
Oh, my God.
Comedy.
Where it's timing-based.
Right.
And you have to, like, be actively listening and getting the jokes.
Yeah.
He was listening to, like, dog walks on, like, the Re-XB.
Oh, my God.
It was insane.
What a weirdo.
He drove from, like, Mississippi to Atlanta or some shit.
Just the two of you?
Just the two of us.
I'm so sorry.
It was flights were getting canceled.
It was, like, apocalyptic. I don't know. It sucked. the two of us so sorry it was flights were getting canceled it was like
apocalyptic i don't know it sucked i'm so so sorry i miss peaceful car rides i don't have them anymore
i miss popping on podcasts listening to music oh yeah just vibing with the guys yeah well what's
happening with your car rides i just uber everywhere i don't have a car oh you don't
yeah cars can't be that expensive they're that expensive i can't afford a car they're pretty rough but aren't that you could get like a beater like a fucking like a
mook's not a beater guy a thousand dollar car mook you should as a joke get a really nice luxury
you want to buy me the gym in a car yeah maybe she's rolling in in a Lambo every day I would pay you
$50 a month
For a key to your place
So I could shit when I'm out
Oh I love that
Deal
And then what's the cheapest car lease that you could get
Or like
There has to be cheap leases
You don't would you want a car
Uh
You just said you missed the piece I have no parking It has to be cheap leases. You don't. Would you want a car? Would you have a place to park it?
You just said you missed the piece.
I have no parking.
It's no piece in a...
You could just get a car and leave it here.
Yeah, I'd take a car for sure.
So he would still just Uber everywhere?
Yeah.
Just have a car and just park here?
But he knows...
Are you about to give him Vanny Woodhead?
Vanny Woodhead doesn't have a key.
Vanny Woodhead doesn't exist.
I could Kia Boys that shit.
Yeah. Hot Rod. Yeah. Yeah. You could. Vandy Woodhead doesn't exist. I could Kia Boys that shit. Yeah.
Hot Rod.
Yeah.
You could have Vandy Woodhead.
It would be fun.
Has it been christened?
Have we had sex in it?
Yeah.
Or somebody.
Oh.
You don't have to.
That was too far.
I'm sorry.
No, no.
You're trying things.
No, I don't know what
Vandy Woodhead.
Do you think his office has been fucked in?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Probably.
That's a good question.
I don't think so.
I think it's too new and people are still.
And there's cameras everywhere.
You don't want to be the first fuck in the office.
The old New York office, the first New York office, that one was fucked in a lot.
I think it's a Roger Bannister situation.
I don't think anybody's done it, but the second word gets out that someone did, it's just going to be erased.
We're all just going to be fucking crazy.
I don't want to.
I think Jack's from Vanderpump Rules fucked in.
The first New York one?
Yeah, I think Jack's from Vanderpump fucked in.
Yeah, there was a couch on that second floor that had cum on it.
Yeah, and it was actually like a case study in beautiful ropes.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Case study in beautiful ropes.
It was.
I remember it now.
People gathered.
It was an archaeological dig site.
Yeah, it was just the timing between each rope.
It was perfect
In all ways
Long
Like it was
It formed the face of Jesus
Yeah
The mortality
It was beautiful
Yeah people were fucking
People don't fucking
Alright what's the
What's the
Do you guys have like
Intern power ranking
Or anything like that
Or when does
I have a
I don't know talk to him
I like Jacob
Cause
Yeah he did that Jacob is He's down for whatever Goldfinger or anything like that? I haven't talked to him. I like Jacob.
Yeah, he did that.
Jacob is at the top. He's down for whatever.
Goldfinger.
Goldfinger.
Goldfinger can't stop smirking.
They'll still be here tonight.
Oh, okay.
Helping out.
They're counting our brews.
Nice.
Tallying our beers.
Love that.
I watched Goldfinger on the way out here.
Great Bond movie.
But I digress.
Let's get back to rank.
Without giving anything away, are all our guests lined up and ready to go?
Okay.
I don't even know who we got because I have no clue.
Yeah, do we have a final guest list?
Oh, yeah.
TJ and I have been working on it.
Oh, it's like a surprise to even us.
Surprise to me.
Well, we're going to see everybody when they come here.
That's true.
But we don't know where they'll come out.
We don't know who it is.
No one knows the order, right? Nobody knows the order right nobody knows the order i think the i yeah i think the or tj
i've been talking i think the order for guest reveals is going to be could be predetermined
and then the wheel to wheel people off will be random beautiful so that way we can have a good
because it's like wrestling we We want to have the good pops
and the different people on each team.
At the risk of it not starting with a whimper, right?
So I don't want to just be me and Kyle in here
if we're the first.
We would not be able to talk to one another.
I think it should be you and Rowan that start.
Maybe not.
Why would you and Kyle know?
Maybe not.
We have a lot of dead air.
We struggle with chemistry TJ and I have a set
We're set
You got it booked, huh?
It's gonna be booked correctly
Okay
So that we'll get maximum amount of fun pops
Oh, this person
Yeah, this person
But then the wheel off will be completely random
So it could very well be
Me and Kyle Yeah, you well be me and Kyle.
Me and Kyle drunk is
silent. Yeah, that will be
very interesting when we wheel off.
Are we friends?
Not conventionally.
Oh.
You guys save everything for Wednesdays
and even that is tough to get through.
Let's take a little break, yeah.
That's actually like
PFT is a very, very good friend of mine.
We don't spend a lot of time outside of the office together
because we spend so much time.
No, but we do hang out outside of the office,
but I just don't know.
Didn't your ladies hang out or something?
Yeah, without us.
Oh, without you?
Yeah, we were recording
and they went out to dinner without us.
Oh, no.
We were on pins and needles.
I was.
Because I know there's going to be a stat comparison.
Oh, no.
He fucking does the dishes every day.
He cleans the house every day.
He does all the domestic.
Asshole.
He power one. Asshole. Asshole. Good guy. Asshole. He power one.
Asshole.
Asshole.
Asshole.
Good guy.
Good guy.
Nick, you're Mr. Mom?
Yeah, he is.
Damn.
Bakes the bed.
No.
That's too far.
I did that.
I like.
That's how he behaves.
Order.
Bailey Carlin.
Independent.
You've been to my home.
It's clean.
It's unbelievable.
I don't like. You do the dishes every You've been to my home. It's clean. It's unbelievable. I don't like...
You do the dishes every night? I felt bad messing
anything up at your house. You did.
He'll let you know. You slept on top of the covers.
I slept on top of the covers. I didn't want to mess them up.
But you put the dishes away every night?
It's split duties. It's very fair.
Alright, Kate.
Who wins the bread? You already did the breastfeeding shirt.
Is it fair?
It doesn't matter suddenly.
Damn. And then you got exposed
then, Kyle.
Talking about Nick
doing all this stuff. Now you got to keep up.
Now you got to keep up with the Jones.
That's what I'm saying, yeah.
Have you been cleaning?
No.
Okay.
Have you been like –
She's like passionate about that though.
I swear to God.
I've tried.
She's so good at it.
I'm so bad at it.
I wouldn't know what to do.
I would just mess it up.
I would just get in the way.
What end is this? I don't – You to do. I would just mess it up. I would just get in the way. What end is this?
I don't,
for the record,
I don't do the cleaning.
You do it so much better.
Every time I do it,
I mess it up.
I don't do the cleaning.
I just,
I bought the vacuum.
I say,
I buy,
you use.
Yeah.
There are times
where I do the dishes
and I don't know where
like half the things are.
That's the worst.
I just am like,
and I throw a fit
because I'm like,
how do I not know
where the Tupperware is? Where's the Tupperware? I checked every cabinet. It's the worst And I throw a fit Cause I'm like How do I not know Where's the Tupperware
Where could it possibly be
I checked every cabinet
It's the blender for me
The blender always
Like I don't fuck with it
So goddamn clunky
Yeah
Where the hell is the Tupperware
No idea
I still can't find it
I don't know where she puts it
I've looked in the oven
I've looked in
It's by the colanders
Under the sink multiple times
Everywhere
I think she puts the lids
Somewhere else
Yeah the lid
I'm like where does I got so much Can we just put the lid on it And then times. I think she puts the lids somewhere else. Yeah, the lid, dude,
I got so much. Can we just put the lid
on it and then put it away?
I got so much lidless.
No,
it'll dry and get stinky.
Yeah,
I got lidless Tupperware
for days.
Yeah.
I can't fucking,
there's just never a lid.
How about when Tupperware
gets red from the pasta sauce?
Oh,
it stains.
It gets a small taint of red.
It stains.
It's soapy water,
hot soapy water.
I love it when it's red.
Yay.
It's a good vest.
Makeshift meal.
Do you tend to the cat?
No.
Kyle.
She loves it though.
She's so on top of it.
That's a big thing.
I do.
I'm like, please let me take care of this shit.
And she does it behind my back.
Are you at least on trash duty i will oh my god i'll i'm good with the trash okay okay that's i at least
make pats on trash and recycling duty no matter what do the trash to make up for other things a
lot i don't i i act up how much I do
I lie to Kyle to make him feel worse about himself
I come home and I sit on the couch and play Gameboy
How much do y'all wipe down the countertops?
I'm anal about that
I do that a lot
Really?
Well my countertops are just a mess
And you probably have so much countertop
There's so many
Do you think you have a half mile of countertop?
Well I have
Have you guys seen this? They you have a half mile of countertop in your house? I haven't.
Have you guys seen this?
They have the Zamboni for countertop.
Oh, no.
You sit on top.
Oh, hell yeah.
You have more countertop than I have floor in my apartment.
Oh, my God.
Not even close.
I bet you he has more toilet seat in his house than you have floor.
Yeah, probably. Z Zamboni's.
The Zamboni character.
Gotta clean up.
Hop on on top.
You pick an AWL
to come clear it with you
once in a while.
Yeah.
Right on the back.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If anybody needs
case race inspiration,
Donnie's dropping
his Pang's Eye video.
Pang's Eye video tonight.
Go watch that.
The guy that eats
and chugs like no other. I love that. And I think Donnie holds his own with him. I love that. Donnie's dropping his pang's eye video pong's eye video tonight the guy that eats and chugs like no other
and I think Donnie holds his own
with him
Donnie's a tank
he could be in the case race I don't know
he has some of the widest palms
in the Chicago office I've noticed that
wide palms
I don't know what it correlates to but
when I come and I shake everybody's hands
fertility it probably is thick ass palms like your grandma Palms. I don't know what it correlates to, but when I come in, I shake everybody's hands. Fertility.
It probably is.
Wide, thick-ass palms like your grandma's hamburger.
I love when Donnie plays basketball with us because he's got almost like a 90s Euro game
where he does left hooks and stuff.
Of course he does.
And then all the way down to he kind of reeks of booze. I feel like I'm playing like Vladi Divac's like brother.
Yeah.
Who never made it to the league.
Smoking in between.
Very unpredictable movement.
Yeah.
Erratic as fuck.
Like you think he knows where he's supposed to go.
And then at other times you're like, have you ever watched one?
Yeah.
And then he'll shoot a three and it'll go in.
And he's like, what just happened?
Yeah.
He's fun.
A man of mystery.
He really is.
The guy drinks and goes out.
And I've been out with him, like, especially in New York, many times.
And I don't think I've ever seen him.
Oh, no.
Are they fighting again?
Also, did Brandon just take a hoops break?
Oh, that was.
Yeah. Why are you guys fighting?
You're so catty.
What are you fighting about?
Blutman's still wearing that purple shirt?
What the fuck?
I don't want Blutman to ever change
because when he's in purple,
he's every single McDonald's mascot.
The purple is what gives him his grimace.
What is Clemmer?
He's just mad.
We've been fighting.
What are you guys fighting about?
Willie Mays dying.
You're fighting about Ricky Henderson?
What is his thing with Willie Mays?
Like, what's his problem?
He just says stupid things.
What is he?
I invited Clemmer on the show to eulogize Willie Mays,
one of the greatest baseball players of all time.
It's a pretty straightforward assignment.
Undoubtedly, yeah.
Pretty straightforward assignment.
It's like you two just get in a room and just just wax poetic about willie mace that's
all you got to do and then before long they were yelling about like what the i don't even remember
what the fuck you're yelling about like whether albert albert pools's ops plus was high enough
to like actually qualify him for one of the great right-handed hitters we've ever seen in the game
and i was like what the fuck is going on?
Exactly right.
How does Ricky Henderson come into this?
Well, we were discussing who the greatest living ball player is,
and I said you certainly have to consider Barry Bonds and Ken Griffey.
And he said, well, you have to consider Ricky Henderson.
And I said, well, not if you've got Griffey and Bonds up there
because he's not as good as those guys.
And he said they was.
And it got all sticky.
And I said Pujols, and Pujols was sticky. And I said poo holes. And the poo holes were sticky.
Poo holes is funny.
A-Rod?
Poo hole.
Poo holes.
Poo holes.
It got real sticky.
Real sticky with poo holes.
Poo holes got sticky.
I miss the recrochables.
Thank you.
Oh, yeah.
It was called the recrochable.
You don't remember.
What was the actual show called?
That was the funniest show.
Brandon, what was the actual show called? What was that funniest show. Brandon, what was the actual show called?
What was that called?
Double Play.
Double Play, a Recrochables, two nuts talking ball, a Recrochables podcast.
And you started it like six weeks before you were moving to Chicago.
I was helping him.
I was trying to help him.
They literally started it when you knew.
No, he fully knew.
I was trying to help him.
And he started it.
We enjoyed it for a little while.
Paul Hogue.
Steven, how come you're not wearing glasses?
Doesn't feel smart enough.
This is going to end with brother.
That's a fair point.
Yeah.
It will be revealed in time.
Oh.
Steven, do you think that your odd behavior yesterday?
You could have worn them and they're so easy to take off.
And you got to do contacts and stuff like that. Do you think you had
odd behavior yesterday leading up to the match?
I tweeted it before. I was like, I think we're either
in for an all-time
Stephen Shea in the zone
match or it's gonna be a disaster.
I saw that after. No, I thought
it was fine. I'm not nervous in front of
our co-workers or anything like that.
So it was just, I had a bad moment. I studied the wrong stuff. And I didn I was fine. I'm not nervous in front of our coworkers or anything like that. So it was just I had a bad moment.
I studied the wrong stuff.
And I didn't read properly.
What did you study?
If I don't read the proper – if I don't read the question right initially,
I go down a horrible path and I get lost.
And that happened twice last night during two big questions.
Steven, he says the question out loud.
I actually get that.
I'm on Steven's side with that.
Jeff's questions, like, it takes me like 30 seconds.
They're kind of riddles.
What he's actually asking.
In fact, in our match, the first match we played,
I opened up the match by what quarterback, and I said the team name.
Yeah, you both said that.
Yeah, and then Chicago's like, you fucking idiot.
That shouldn't count.
And then they did the same exact thing.
Yeah, they are riddles.
Yeah, I know that my job is to get the niche right.
I'm so hyper-focused on that.
And then when I see the question start with like drafted by an NFC South rival,
I'm just like, what?
I'm down a completely different path.
Now I'm like, all right, I'm thinking about all the NFC South teams,
and I should have just thought about backup running backs in the 2016 to 2018 era.
It is the worst when someone comes up to you afterwards and like, yeah, I knew that.
Yeah.
Brandon.
Okay.
I do not.
Okay.
You know who the best player in the crowd was yesterday?
Glennie Balls.
Yeah, he's good.
Everything.
Knew everything.
He might be the best player.
I was looking around.
I didn't know a couple, and I just turned around,
and he just told me.
Well, because he's the most, he's Jeffed in.
He's plugged into the Jeff matrix.
They live together.
They like spent the most time together. They spent the most time together.
They have the same sensibilities.
And he also,
Glennie has no care in the world.
There's no one who has less care.
No cobwebs in that head.
Just clear thinking.
He still lives with his,
I saw him yesterday.
I was like,
still living at home?
He's like,
yep. And I was like, you ever gonna move out? He's like, why would I? i was like still living at home he's like yep i was
like you ever gonna move out he's like why would i i was like that's awesome yeah beautiful yeah
no care no rent food all figured out me and him are going to uh nashville this weekend together
oh yeah for the one year anniversary of the barstool bar down there love that should be great
it's gonna pop off yeah
what day is that saturday we're leaving on friday is nashville transforming or is it done it's
already set in stone well it depends on what are you talking about broadway or are you talking about
the rest of it in any way i think it's still growing is it like austin yeah yes it is yeah
i think you can show to find a skyline picture of like nashville 30 years ago
versus today it's crazy are we still getting landmarks though in nashville when's the last
landmark we got or in general yeah what's the the freedom tower yeah maybe is that landmark bean
yeah the bean 20 years old new y York Bean. It's never opened.
Yeah, what's the newest?
We're due for one.
Oh.
What's the newest non-building one?
That street where that white boy stands up in the dress shirt.
Good point.
White dress shirt. Is that a boat shoes?
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's the new landmark?
Yeah.
Oh.
Because it's hard.
The first few years of a landmark, everyone's like, this sucks.
Yeah, this has no history.
Yeah, look at that.
That's pretty significant.
That's only nine years.
Wow.
So, yeah, it's growing a lot.
Yeah, it's growing.
Yeah, I'd say that Nashville's booming.
It is growing.
Is the zeitgeist changing?
Ah.
What's the zeitgeist?
I don't know what that means.
Question I ask often.
What does that mean?
Isn't it the
core
yes
yeah
do you have a way to explain that
the spirit of the time
you can feel the shift
I think that any city that has
that is
centralized around a certain street
there is always a strong
counterculture in that street.
New Orleans, Bourbon Street.
It's like you've got to get off Bourbon Street.
Nashville,
Broadway. You've got to get off Broadway.
Austin, 6th Street.
Vegas, Strip.
You've got to get off the Strip.
I think that there's a strong counterculture
that's bubbling,
which I hope to explore.
You gotta go to the Vandy Campus.
Those bars around there are awesome.
Gotta get to the Vandy Campus.
Winners and losers.
Yeah.
Best donut, my favorite donuts in America, Five Daughters.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, in Nashville.
Yeah, Will brought those to us.
Amazing.
Santa's Karaoke.
Santa's Karaoke.
It's a good spot.
Great spot.
Still smoke inside.
I was waiting for the Kate.
I was like, why does Kate like this?
There was two Marines here this morning.
Is there tubing in there?
And they were like, can you come out and smoke a cigarette with us?
And I did.
Oh, yeah.
Hell yeah.
Anything for the fans.
Buzzing for the case race tonight.
Very exciting.
Oh, we should smoke cigs for the case race, huh?
Okay.
We can just smoke
inside, right?
Totally.
Who all's going to
the party in Nashville?
I think it's me,
Glennie, and Caleb
are hosting it
officially.
Is there a big band?
There's, I think,
like six bands.
Cheat Codes, I think,
is the headliner,
the DJs.
But a bunch of
country singers.
It's going to be
fucking awesome.
If you're in Nashville,
pull up
free
outdoors
Titus and I
are going to the
Sphere this weekend
what?
I'm so jealous
could not be more
for the
Paralympics
I don't know
I don't
I'm worried
cause
I'm worried
that my brain
is gonna be broken
by the Sphere
I want my brain
to be broken
I don't think
you have a drug brain
that's what I'm worried about.
I don't do a lot of mushrooms.
No, but just a little bit, though.
I think a little bit will be just enough.
It'll be, just take too little.
So my instinct right now is night one, do nothing,
and then get a lay of the land, and then night two.
I think night one you do a little.
A little.
A little.
And just to feel it.
Yeah, a little tiny. A little turns into a lot. Define a little. A little. And just to feel it grand. A little turns
into a lot.
Define a little. I could give you a little.
Don't let...
Here's a little.
Now here's a little more.
Chase down that mushroom with all
this tea. He's going to be breastfeeding
mushrooms. Should we text
John Mayer when we're there?
Rome gave me his number.
Rome, can I have
John Mayer's number? Rome set me up so bad.
Big Cat has it. He set me up so bad.
So he gave me, because I've
been harassing him to like, hey, can we get
John Mayer on PMT? And then
I think it was on the Yak. He gave me his number. And then I
texted our mutual friend and I was like, hey,
I got John Mayer's number.
What would his response be if I just texted him out of the blue?
And he just replied.
He's like, I think you know the answer to that.
So then I just deleted John Mayer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But maybe you could text him.
For you guys?
Yeah.
My buddies are in town.
Just look for the dude.
One dude's going to be doing mushrooms.
The other dude said he wasn't, but he probably will.
The one dude's not going to realize how many mushrooms he's on.
The one guy who's not doing mushrooms is hunched over in the corner.
Got three mustaches between the two of them.
Yeah.
I don't even have that.
Wait, so are you going to stay in Nashville for the beer games
no I'm going to T-Pain on Sunday in New York oh hell yeah sick dude you got a wild week coming up
yeah I'm I'm living it up um yeah so I'm going back from Tennessee to go back to T-Pain and
then flying right back to Tennessee for the beer games because even though Pat Bev is out,
I'm in.
Who's your partner?
You gotta find one.
I think I'm just gonna,
you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I know exactly.
Yeah, brother.
Wise-ass words.
I do.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Speaking of concerts,
are we doing Third Eye Blind?
Oh, fuck.
That's coming up.
I already have my tickets.
He already has tickets.
Yeah, Nick.
It was my birthday gift.
Nick will go for us.
I'll go for you guys.
We're back.
Yeah.
I also have an update
on the Landis Morissette.
Robbie said he...
He's not going to go, is he?
He said that...
So it's actually
at the Camden waterfront,
not in...
It's in Camden?
Oh.
Not a...
That fucking place, yeah.
Not in Atlantic City.
Those are $1,000 tickets?
And he was wondering if he could sell the tickets
and buy tickets to the Atlantic City show
that's the night before.
And I wanted to ask the council if that's kosher.
I like Bob Fox.
Yes.
Kosher.
But not as good of seats.
So he gets to pocket some of the money?
Oh, fuck!
He gets to sit in the nosebleed?
I don't know.
I don't know what to tell him.
That he can sell the tickets?
Yeah, I think he can sell them. But isn't know what to tell him. That he could sell the tickets that...
Yeah, I think he can sell them.
Via GameTag.
But isn't that what you wanted to do?
Yeah.
I never wanted to sell them.
I always wanted someone to see Alanis.
What is Max Yonah?
Peanut butter again.
The hot sauce stayed.
He can't go anywhere without his peanut butter.
No.
He'll get cranky.
Yeah, look at him. He's like a dog. Gets stuck on the roof
of his mouth.
Eat the peanut butter.
His paw's coming in.
Is there anybody
that secretly runs this office
that you wouldn't
expect? Seeing the way that Max walks
around, he definitely has a chutzpah to his strut.
I mean spider, but that's probably not a secret.
Yeah, spider's not a secret.
Page is a secret.
Yeah, yeah.
McCarthy's always...
Chef Donnie kind of has a little bit of ownership.
A little bit.
McCarthy's actually a good answer.
McCarthy's got a little bit of a...
If you did a game of Risk, he's got a little bit of a he's if you did like a game of risk he's got a little
territory really dude he also knows everything that's going on yeah and he's got he's got a crew
gambling cave yeah he's got a crew of guys that would do some shit yeah yeah is he a dickhead
through oh yeah oh yeah to his core Damn Look at him
Chuck can do that
Yeah
Oh yeah
But Chuck's more the silent
He's quiet
Yes
Seawalk's growing balls
Jerry thinks he's got a crew
But he doesn't
She's getting bold
A little bit
Yeah Seawalk is getting bold
Which is good for her
Caitlyn
Seawalk
She's finally
She'll tell people
Hey
You're fucking up
Yeah
Seawalk does
Seawalk will get on your ass
She's on some scheduling
Of like rooms
She's got a stack of releases
She's been shoving down
People's throats
As they walk down the door
Trap doors
We have releases now?
Yeah
We have to get
Actual releases
For the court
What do you mean?
Like when we have people come in and they do like athletic stuff.
If anything happened.
Oh, you want plausible.
Was it since Caruso?
Yeah, that was actually when the legal team asked me.
I was like, yeah, why don't we do that?
I don't know if we have.
We have that.
We do.
That's what they're referring to.
Oh, okay.
Good.
Speaking of that, fuck Tommy Smokes.
Oh, yeah. Tommy Smokes, you're fucking dead to us oh oh yeah he's a piece of shit thank you yeah what happened prayed for gunner henderson's
injury what yeah gunner henderson is he he came orioles incredible player he came on the yak
coolest guy ever actually steven text him he also doesn't know the word writhing. Tommy?
Yeah, he said withering on the ground in pain.
He meant to say writhing.
Dumbass.
That would take a lot of pain.
Text Gunner right now and say,
we all have his back and we hate Tommy. Send him the tweet so he knows what it is.
Send him the tweet then, right?
Yeah, send him the tweet.
Be like, just so you know, we're taking care of this.
Tommy Smokes is dead to us.
Want me to send him your quote tweet?
No, just say what I just said.
Oh, he did respond?
Yeah.
So what, the Yankees and Orioles are in like a peg off right now?
Is that what it is?
That's what I'm deeming it.
Yeah, I guess they are.
What, Aaron Judge got pegged?
No, he got almost pegged, right?
Or he did get pegged.
Didn't he hurt his hand?
He got pegged in the hand, yeah.
But he's fine.
He's playing today.
And then somebody else almost got pegged.
Where's Tommy?
I want to make him.
He was like near death yesterday, wasn't he?
His bitch ass went to bed at 730.
He was a color that I hadn't seen on a human.
He matched his jersey.
You didn't fall for that tweet, did you? She did. Kate, tell me you didn't fall for that tweet did you
She did
Kate tell me you didn't fall for that
Extremely photoshopped tweet where Tommy smokes
His paper mache gray
Oh no
Wasn't that jaundiced
Certainly that's not what you're talking about
Sight
I got your back
Wait can we see this picture
I don't think I saw it.
You didn't see it?
Well, you probably scrolled by because you were like, this is...
Oh, my God, Kate.
Kate.
It looks like a newspaper photo.
It's a white walker.
I was scrolling quickly.
I didn't...
Oh, man.
He'd be dead.
He wouldn't put it past Tommy to...
Yeah, he would pull some shit like that.
He's a sickly boy.
Yeah.
Tommy's on the top of the list of like, I'm happy that modern medicine exists, but 200
years ago, it'd be nice just-
Tons.
Tommy Smokes of the world would not have survived past two.
No.
And he's an only child, too.
Yeah.
Which is fucked.
He would have been a baby that fell down a well.
Oh, he would have been perfect to toss in a river.
He has the build to toss in a river.
I would have skipped him a couple times.
You're not going to need this.
Oh, this one's perfect.
Yeah.
Steven without glasses.
I can't wait for the reveal
Steve's hot and has a huge dick
It sucks man
Also the reveal is just that he's gonna get face painted
Like all of us are
That's the reveal
That's why I can't wear glasses
I'm not going face painted
I was gonna say are you just getting like facial hair face paint
I think it depends on what your costume is
Yeah true Cause I don't need it but if there's face paint or I think it depends on what your cost. Yeah. Yeah.
I don't need it but if there's face paint available
I want I want it. I only have like two
other people that are not full face paint
down face paint. So if you want some stuff
text me. What do I need
face paint TJ or does my costume have
you. I mean there is
a I believe there's a piece with it but you should
you should get this. OK.
In my opinion.
Do you want me to go make a half court shot right now?
Yeah.
I've been waiting for you to ask.
Jesus, dude.
Why were you so shy around him?
Why did you just ask him?
I wrote it down in my notes.
I was like, I fucking hope he finally asks.
Thank God. Oh, my notes. I was like, I fucking hope he finally asks. Thank God.
Oh my God.
Seriously, the show feels like
it hasn't started yet.
Kyle?
No, shoot again!
Yeah, make.
Make, not take.
I want you to make one.
Low risk, high reward. No one's going to remember that miss.
He's right.
You've been holding that in?
I do like that.
Pepper that in.
Make that a recurrent thing.
I'll try that in six months. Six months from now.
Because you're right, when it hits.
If that hits, yeah, that's amazing.
It's going to go dummy viral.
That would have been great.
There's your beers.
Oh, my God. Everyone's a good dummy viro. That's great. There's your beers. Oh, my God.
Everyone's drinking, right?
Beers are here.
Everyone is drinking.
Brandon's going to referee.
So Brandon will be here.
He's going to ref, which actually is more than any other case race.
We need a ref because, like I said, when both –
There's rules.
Well, when entrants come in, yeah, you've got to count them off to drink.
This is maybe a little diva, but I'm nervous about the temperature of the beer because too cold can be a little tough.
It's going straight to the...
No, you're right.
No, all the case races, we've taken them out.
And let them warm up a little.
I warm one between my thighs.
Okay.
I put one between my tits.
Yeah, yeah.
Firmly.
Kyle could stack three in those cheeks.
Oh, yeah. Luscious cup, boys. Theirmly. Kyle could stack three in those cheeks. Oh, yeah.
Your cheeks are boys.
The insides are small.
What?
I can't hold a lot in my mouth.
Stash.
Oh, I thought he was talking about your butt cheeks.
I thought he was talking about your butt cheeks, brother.
You could lie on your butt cheeks.
That was wild to be like, yeah, the insides of my cheeks are small.
Yeah, I could never put the...
You'd be an awful Korean orphan.
Yeah, chipmunk.
Could never work.
Yeah, the x-ray at the dentist.
I don't think that's how it works.
That hurts.
It hurts every time.
They just want to see your eyes water, those perverts.
Brandon, you good?
You just have your forehead to the mic. Your calf.
You got a calf? I'm awful
crampy today. And catty.
I'm going from leg cramps to now
I've got side cramps. Wait, you're moody?
You have cramps? Yeah, I don't.
Do the worm.
Do the worm!
Do the worm!
Do the worm!
I don't know how to do the worm. I fucking love KB's energy right now. Do the worm. Good for you. Do the worm. Do the worm. Do the worm. I don't know how to do the worm.
Do the worm, Brandon.
I fucking love KB's energy right now.
Do the worm.
Hold on.
I got to make through this show.
You got to do the worm.
It's the only way to get rid of it.
Do the worm.
Do the worm.
Your brain is on fire right now.
Let's do the worm.
You know what I do.
Go do the worm.
We just finished recording a podcast where I think I have a 15-word count.
What was that, Blutman?
He was looking for the worm.
Yeah, worm it.
No, I've got to take a walk.
No, worm.
Worm.
Worm.
Worm.
Worm.
Worm.
Worm.
Worm.
Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm, worm, worm, worm, worm, worm, worm, worm, worm.
Oh, come on.
Oh!
Kate, what was that?
Kate, that was too much.
What was it?
Oh, shit.
Wait, because he's older.
He's got to think of his grandkids.
Shoes are too big
Oh no
He's got
It's just all anxiety
Yes
For the dozen
Oh my god
And his diet
There's no way he slept last night
His body just rejects trivia
He's a big man
Sometimes I forget that
Mm-hmm
Mm-hmm
Y'all big dudes
Yeah
I love how yesterday
He was like denying
The grandpop allegations.
Yeah.
And now he can't.
Yeah.
I love him.
Specimen.
I freaking love him with my whole heart.
I do.
I love him too much.
It's hard sometimes, but you gotta love him.
Yeah, he gives me heartburn.
That's how much I love him.
Wow.
Yeah.
But you do have to.
Gird.
He retains some good, some decent muscle mass for never cultivating it.
Is it just because he's carrying the weight?
Yeah.
He adds muscle?
And he paces.
He's a pacer.
Blood men in his natural habitat.
Oh, yeah.
I'm sure he's getting some real good shit.
I heard if you of like smack your body
like there's like points where you're supposed to smack that can like prevent blood clots wow
some asian medicine type shit i don't know exactly where
quick with the finger tj
he cut to chain as soon as the word didn't even say june yet
can confirm uh steven why don't you do the draft kings ad read You didn't even say jean yet. Can confirm.
Steven, why don't you do the DraftKings ad read?
Sure.
Shout out to Stevie Ice, the best to ever do it, 4-0 after last night's win.
I think for a disclaimer, you're not allowed to say the best to ever do it, Che.
Hockey.
Technically, I'd be right.
Winning percentage-wise.
City.
Correct.
All right.
Hitting the links this weekend.
The pros sure are be right there with him.
T to green with DraftKings.
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Thank you, my friend.
Steve, what's the best side dish?
That's a great question, Kyle.
You can go in a lot of different directions with this.
I think french fries is a staple, like, USA one, but... Just tell me your favorite.
It's never the best.
It's always your personal favorite.
Depends on the main dish, doesn't it, Steven?
For me, it's probably
broccoli, but
I don't assume that's going to be the case for most people.
But it depends, again, it depends on the main
dish, like it does. I don't know.
If you're having like a burger, you want
broccoli? At Red Robin, hell yeah.
Burger and broccoli? Yeah. Unlimited.
Bottomless. Bottomless broccoli.
Bottomless broccoli. Garlic mash
is good. Steakhouse is pretty good.
You know, cream of spinach, that type of thing.
But yeah, good broccoli gets done.
I think you want to separate a carbohydrate side from a vegetable side.
I think those should be different categories.
Dough baked potatoes, very good.
Very tasty.
Bacon is a classic.
A lot of choices.
I have some bad heartburn.
You do? Yeah. Not good going into the case race. Uh-oh. Brennan, how are you feeling? I very good. Very tasty. Bacon is a classic. A lot of choices. I have some bad heartburn. You do?
Yeah.
Not good going into the case race.
Uh-oh.
Brennan, how you feeling?
I'm good.
I'm creepy.
What's going on?
My sides are tight.
What's going on with you?
My sides?
I'm telling you.
It's the trivia, dude.
It's not the trivia.
Same thing happened last year.
It's not.
It's fine.
You got to quit.
You should do the right thing and step down.
I can't.
You should forfeit tonight.
You get so nervous. I'm not that. This is not nerves. I can't. You should forfeit tonight. You get so nervous.
This is not nerves.
Oh, my.
I get nervous.
This is not nerves.
I get nervous.
Let Fran and PFT take this one.
This is not nerves.
Brandon, you should step down.
No, my body.
Your health.
We're worried about you.
My body is rejecting itself.
It's trivia.
It's trivia.
Do you not have enough faces on your shirt?
What is it?
You're right, Roan.
The man doesn't have enough faces.
I see a lot of donkey and that's about it.
Donkeys and gingerbread man.
No Shrek?
Is there really no Shrek in there?
No Shrek? No Muffin Man?
No, the Muffin Man's here.
He's there?
No Farquaad?
No, that's not the Muffin Man.
I have a Farquaad shirt.
Okay, your mic's on.
Is that me? No Farquaad? No, no, that's not the Muffin Man. No, I have a Farquaad shirt. Okay, your mic's on. All right.
Great.
Is that me?
What was all the yelling about?
Not a single Farquaad.
Brandon doesn't have enough faces on his shirt.
That's why he's cramping.
Oh, yeah, you need more face.
I brought it back up.
Is Pinocchio on there?
Yeah, somewhere, surely.
Yeah, Pinocchio's over there.
Surely.
Yeah.
Oh, here's Farquaad in the Farquaad costume, and there's Pinocchio right there.
Well, that's not actually Farquaad.
It's the Farquaad costume.
You're a grown-ass.
Well, there's Farquaad.
There's Farquaad.
There's Farquaad.
There's Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad.
Farquaad. who's that bear oh that's one of the three bears right oh yeah any sizes to those bears
yeah it's one of them i don't know which one there's the three little pigs and there's there's
a gingerbread man and there's donkey what's that so this is the shirt you decided to wear on like
the big day no i haven't worn this shirt yet and i wanted to wear it i've been wanting to wear my
shrek musical shirt and then so i'm wearing my Shrek musical shirt.
I brought backups.
I got a wrestling shirt for tonight, so we're good.
Nice.
Where did you get that?
Was it gifted?
Well, I have a connection with a company called Roosevelt's
that sends me beautiful shirts.
They're wonderful.
We're working on some things.
You're working on things with them?
Kind of.
Getting a Brandon Walker shirt?
I don't know.
That'll be no one.
Come on, spill.
I don't be knowing.
Spill.
We'll deal with that later.
Cramps first.
You think Jake Marsh is going to take the West Point high radio job?
You think that's why he quit?
You think the timing is pretty interesting?
I love Jake Marsh.
You think that's why?
He can't replace Bud Bowen.
That'd be crazy. He ain't replace Bud Bowen. That'd be crazy.
He ain't exactly a Yankee.
Quite the coincidence.
He just can't replace Bud Bowen, that's all.
Do people from Mississippi think of people from Florida as Yankees? They think
of people from outside of Mississippi as Yankees.
Alabama's cool. They're fine.
What about Arkansas?
No way. No one thinks of
Arkansas as Yankees. Well, Northwest Arkansas, yeah.
The Walmart people.
Oh, the Walmart.
The rich folk.
Yeah.
Fayetteville and all that.
The good part of Arkansas.
Right.
Is that northwest corner.
Springdale.
The rest of it is reprehensible.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
It's okay because there's nobody there.
Mm-hmm.
Oklahoma borders Arkansas. It very much does and i fear that oklahoma's a little small on our on our map what is i was thinking utah too
ron i was so mad at myself when i see that i'm like why the fuck would i think nevada touches
wyoming fucking idiot bro in his his map, Nevada's about perfect.
That's such a good Nevada. That's a good Nevada.
He built the whole map around Nevada. Nevada looks
better than Colorado. Colorado's bad.
Colorado's the easiest one to do. No, no, because
like, perfect square, you'll be exposed.
Yeah, Colorado's struggling. You guys are glazing for the
easiest state. Oh, Nevada's, look at Nevada.
California looks really good, too.
California looks good. Now, Washington's a little
small, I think.
South Dakota's great.
I think Minnesota and Wisconsin are in trouble.
Arizona's good.
Nebraska's going to be bad when he figures Nebraska out.
Idaho's pretty good.
Idaho's great.
Idaho's not bad.
Where is he going to put Alaska? Michigan's in trouble because I don't know where the upper peninsula is.
No, Michigan looks awful.
Michigan's in trouble.
Yeah.
And the East Coast is...
And the little...
This part.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
The mitten?
Looks like a ground tower.
This part's too high.
This part's way too high.
It's like up here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You need it down here.
There's no UP.
But he could fix that, though.
I don't know.
He's not getting full time.
It's too far gone.
Because imagine how Lake Erie would be if that's really how Michigan was shaped.
Look at Louisiana.
It's just a little depression.
Oh, yeah.
There's nothing to Louisiana.
It's getting shut more.
Did he run out of tape?
I don't know.
It needs to jut.
There's hardly a jut.
There's no jut whatsoever.
Did he put a dot somewhere in Florida on purpose?
Oh, Gainesville.
Gainesville. Gainesville.
I don't like that.
I hate that.
It's not Lake Okeechobee.
No, it's too high.
Fuck Lake Okeechobee.
That's definitely Gainesville, I think.
He put a dot in Gainesville.
Rip that dot.
Get that dot.
I mooned Lake Okeechobee.
I hated it.
Pulled my butt out.
You did?
Yeah.
Your whole butt?
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
Oh, he made Florida way too big.
Look at that.
Homer.
And look, Louisiana barely juts.
That's pretty good, though.
Kate.
Come on.
This is our fucking wall.
My dumb ass thought he was doing it by sight.
I need Kate to insult somebody bad.
You know what?
Maybe he's just like a huge lib lib and this is a global warming map.
Oh, this is what we're looking towards.
Yeah.
I fucking love those, though.
They're so interesting.
Oh, yeah.
Six thousand years.
Here's what America will look like.
Yeah.
Oh, shit, dude.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
It's perfect.
Florida's enormous now that I look.
He started last night.
There's potential something could have slightly shifted overnight
What?
What?
Are we talking tectonic plates?
No he's
The earth is
What would have shifted?
The earth is an organism
It does move
He's using a projection
So maybe the projector or whatever he's using
Got moved slightly to the right
Oh I see
Yes Sounds like you moved it Did you bump it Che? got moved slightly to the right. Oh. Got it. Oh, I see.
Yes.
Sounds like you moved it.
Did you bump it, Che?
Not intentionally, if I did.
Oh, it sounds like you moved it.
I don't think I did.
Che moved it.
I just saw the Massachusetts situation.
Cape Cod.
Yeah, there's not much room for Maine either.
Tape.
We'll see how it goes. Camera, pick that up. I mean, this map is all well we're gonna have to have doing his best but it's also
it doesn't really matter what it looks like it's clemmer clemmer has to fill this map
yeah yeah some hats will be bigger than states are we gonna have alaska and hawaii
oh oh if he gets down to 48 yes no i'm saying I'm saying on the map. Yeah, where are we going to put him?
We don't have it.
Oh, my God.
It's going to be where the napkin is.
I like it on the wall.
I want it to be actually representative of where they are.
Every map gets that wrong and just puts them down in the corner.
You know, it's confusing.
So you want to put Alaska like way upstairs?
Yeah, let's put Alaska upstairs.
You're right about that.
Put Hawaii in the control room.
Yeah.
Yes.
Fuck the trend and finally get a map right.
I got to hit an interview, my boys.
All right.
I'll be back.
Please don't tell me this is your sub.
Wait, when are you done with your interview?
Everybody sub.
You guys dress the same outfit.
This is weird.
This is coordinated.
Wait, what is it?
Hopefully fast enough to get down here to finish that shit.
How long do you think it's going to take?
I don't know if it'll be half an hour or an hour.
Okay, all right.
So is everyone free right after the act so we can do the beginning of the case race?
Yes.
Without our costumes on?
Okay, cool.
All right, Tom.
Yeah, you're a piece of shit.
Yeah.
And we actually, the only way you can make it right is we have a couple
baseballs in the back and we get to throw them at you.
For what?
For what you said about Gunnar Henderson.
Oh, I stand by that.
The Orioles are fucking scumbags.
Then we get to throw baseballs at you.
The Orioles hit three Yankees last night.
Oh, you're going to be okay.
Yeah, I forgot about the yak connection but gunner
text you back steven yes what'd he say oh no we text gunner we're putting it up yeah don't worry
we have your back and we're handing this attorney hi glad i got you on my side forever all right so
now we have to throw baseballs at you you're so fucked no no no no that was what gunner said he
said glad i have you on our show.
You wanted him on the ground
withering in pain.
He's our friend.
Withering.
And now,
we have to hit you with a baseball.
No, please no.
That's why I stopped playing baseball.
I was too afraid to get hit by a pitch.
Withering.
Withering.
I think that's a word.
Did you mean writhing?
Writhing.
It is a word.
It's just the...
Withering in pain.
Withering is like
decomposing.
You're withering away.
You want him decomposing on the ground.
Tommy didn't make a mistake.
Shrinking.
What is your punishment?
Maybe there's none.
That would be the worst.
You just have to live with it.
Yeah, if I just have to live with it, I don't have any physical harm.
What about beanbags?
You have to put your penis in the hole.
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Bean the peen.en Yeah bean the peen
We all get one shot
You have to lay under the cornhole board
You can either do your face under the hole or your dick
And we get one shot
We all get one shot
My bear penis?
It's not that big
Your bear penis.
My grizzly cock.
My bear penis.
Oh, my bear penis?
Please, it's human at best.
And I sit under the hole.
Yes.
You lay.
Do you want penis or do you want face?
Probably penis. I clipped it what do you look for in a woman penis or face we just get one shot I think I'm gonna go penis okay yeah I think I'm going to go penis. Okay, yeah, I think that's right. Come on.
Vicky, if that shirt plays, by the way.
It fits the outfit.
Good job, Kate. Awesome, it's a great shirt.
Just find one that fits you.
It'll be great.
How much are the actual sweaters, Kate?
So he doesn't sell any.
He sells T-shirts that are full sweaters.
Okay.
But he didn't have the football one.
But they're like $30.
He's sitting right on top of you, and then we each get one shot.
All right, that's fair.
Yeah, and it's only one shot each get one shot. Alright, that's fair.
It's only one shot each, so if we miss, it doesn't count.
Eat more in the booth.
Maybe some people in the gambling cave.
We gotta sink these shots. I wish I got a practice shot first.
Oh, we can take...
Big Cat, can we take a couple practice shots?
No, no practice shots.
Alright, that's fine. No practice shots.
Okay, but just get it on the board and we can nudge it in.
Okay, okay.
Or we could overshoot
and just hit his face.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, I think we need
to stack this for...
Is he going to be able
to get his bear cock under there?
It's probably not enough room.
Tommy, what are you doing?
Did you just tuck it
into waistband?
What?
Did you just tuck cock
into waistband?
No.
Let me check. There was some kind of tucking. Well, it's not Did you just tuck cock into waistband? No. Let me check.
There was some kind of tucking.
Well, it's not the cock, though.
It's the nut sack.
Yeah, we need the sack.
Chuck that cock.
He's got to get that cock in the hole.
What is the worst thing to get hit, the balls or the...
The balls by a mile.
A dick hit is only bad when it's like a slight flick that gets you in the right spot.
Or if it knocks a dick into the balls.
Yeah, that's true.
Oh, this is good.
Yay.
Is it all the way in there?
I'm as in as I can go.
All right.
Can you get a direct shot?
All right, boys, we got to get a direct shot.
We have to.
For Gunner. What's that? Get get a direct shot. We have to. For Gunner.
What's that?
Get him a piece of wood to bite on.
Oh, give him a blindfold, too, so he can flinch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're on our system, Tommy.
We're not going to go up to you, I swear to God.
This is plenty.
There we go.
Lay down and see if we can actually get it.
What did he make a pillow out of?
A basketball with a blanket on it.
It looks like it's not very steady.
Yep, that's a basketball.
All right, so Zahn, TJ, you get a shot as well.
Do you guys want to go first?
Sure.
All right.
I'll spin to see who goes. Oh, yeah, you get a shot as well. Do you guys want to go first? Sure. All right. Let's spin and see who goes.
Oh, yeah.
Spin to see who goes.
All right, Tommy.
We'll announce who's going right as they come up.
This is for Gunner.
This is for Gunner.
T-
Jay, make sure you text this video to Gunner after.
Oh, this is one of our best. Let-oh. Titus. This is one of our best.
Let's go, Titus.
Where did he go?
Where is he?
Maybe the bathroom.
Guys, guys, I can't say this enough.
One of us has to get a direct shot.
What if we all do?
Oh, man.
But, like, this is going to be, this is really, really important.
If none of us get a direct shot, I will be as disappointed as I've ever been.
He's been a bad boy.
Wheel somebody else since Titus is –
Where'd he go?
Oh, yeah, wheel someone else.
Oh, there he is.
There he is.
All right, this is who's up second.
Oh, the big two. I know.. All right, this is who's up second. Oh, the big two.
I know.
We're doing the wheel.
So pressure.
It's all right.
We got a lot of shots.
Put on the blindfold.
Tommy.
Tommy, blindfold.
Blindfold.
Don't be sassy about it.
Put on the blindfold.
Put on the blindfold.
Because you're going to flinch.
You're going to flinch if it gets close.
I think we're going to think one of us is going to stand above and slam it. Yeah, no, we're not going to do that. We're not going to flinch. You're going to flinch if it gets close. I think we're going to think one of us is going to stand above and slam it.
Yeah, no, we're not going to do that.
We're not going to do that.
Swear to God.
Swear to God.
I'll give you $1,000 if one of us does that.
It would be me.
It would be me, so I'm not going to do it.
I can still see his eyes.
I think it is.
We'll know if he flinches.
If we see you flinch.
It's on. Everybody gets an extra shot. Yeah, everyone. We'll know if he flinches. If we see you flinch. It's on.
Everybody gets an extra shot.
Yeah, everyone gets an extra shot if you flinch.
All right, Titus.
Come on, Titus, please.
Just one.
Just one throw.
Can I throw more than one bag?
No.
Actually wasn't a bad question.
No.
Fuck.
Fuck.
All right, KB.
This is so nerve-wracking we need someone to hit this smaller bag fuck two. All right. Who's up?
Yeah, I think the arc is important.
Mm-hmm.
Everybody doing it cold is much to his advantage.
Mook.
Big Cat, please.
Someone's going to get it.
Just takes one.
Just takes one.
I'm proud of you, Tom.
All right, Big Cat.
Come on.
Be a leader.
Get those nuts.
Come on.
Mm-hmm.
Oh!
Fuck!
Wow.
Well, Tommy's getting cocky too.
God damn it.
And this is his penance.
Shit.
Okay, Nick.
Someone step up.
This is going to be the biggest L we've ever taken. This is not good.
Oh, no.
We're running out of throws.
We're running out of throws.
Shea.
Everybody on the yak.
You disrespect.
Oh, and Max was on the show today.
Yeah. Rone.
Max on the road.
Yeah.
Come on, yeah. Come on.
Come on, Steve.
Put Max on there.
I felt so good about that throw.
If we don't hit this.
It's good.
Oh.
And the Orioles hit a losing streak.
I feel like that's on us.
Yes.
Oh, no.
It's stressful.
We have to hit them.
I know.
We should have everybody from upstairs come down and talk to us about this.
Zah.
Zah.
Come on, Zah.
Come on, Za. Oh, my God.
Oh!
That looked like it went in.
All right, Kate.
Kate, please.
One time.
Have a seat, Max.
You're just in here so you can throw at Tommy's balls.
I thought for sure I got the wet wheel.
You might later.
Okay.
Horrendous.
I'm hitting the board now
Oh boy
Oh boy
Has anyone hit him yet?
No
Tommy you're almost in the clear
Penance is almost paid
Oh that was terrible
Six
Roan
Roan
Someone's gotta go for Roan
Let's go for Roan
Big Cat you were closest
Yeah
Alright I'll go
You're the closest with Roan
Throw it like Roan.
Throw it like Roan would, though, so we can tell the difference.
Tommy, you're pretty much good.
We don't have a lot of players left.
A million people.
Why do you agree?
You want a guy withering in pain, man.
He didn't lose anything. He disrespected Gunnar Henderson.
Gunnar Henderson's very good. He killed the Phillies
this weekend.
Another competition
won for Smokes.
There's a lot of time left.
No, it's over.
Boogie, this is a huge opportunity.
Max, I need you.
I need you, Max. This could change the course of everything need you. I need you, Max.
This could change the course of everything for you.
It really could, Luke.
Right here.
Right now.
One time.
He's got it.
He's got it.
This is torture.
How many left?
Three.
I'll go.
TJ, Brandon, Max.
TJ.
TJ!
Please.
TJ.
Come on.
Come on, TJ.
Come on, TJ.
I know fat TJ would do this first try.
I don't know about skinny TJ, so let's.
Here we go, TJ.
All right.
That was infuriating.
I mean, TJ's going to be on my side in this debate.
Come on, TJ.
That was pretty cool.
That was cool.
That was a confidence bag spin.
Oh!
Whew.
No.
Sorry.
Man.
The bag spin was cool, though.
Tommy, some people are saying that if you never get hit in the nuts, then Aaron Judge or Juan Soto is going to get hurt. Juan. Man. The bag spin was cool, though. Tommy, some people are saying that if you never get hit in the nuts,
then Aaron Judge or Juan Soto is going to get hurt.
Juan.
Yeah.
Uh-oh.
Yeah, huh?
He's taking the risk.
Brandon, please.
Please.
Brandon, then Max, and then you win.
I hate that I'm last.
Actually, no, I love that I'm last.
I want the moment.
This would be the ultimate comeback.
He's crampy.
He's cranky.
Can he pull it together? And I hate Tommy Smokes. Do you? Yep. Hate would be the ultimate comeback. He's crampy. He's cranky. Can he pull it together?
And I hate Tommy Smokes.
Do you?
Yep.
Hate him.
Look at him.
I can't stop.
Bosco's got to throw.
Bosco.
Got to throw.
Imagine if he didn't.
Wait.
Tommy's peaking.
I know.
Bosco's going to throw.
Yeah.
All these are invalid.
He's been peaking every time.
Bosco, you got to throw. He'll throw with his bad arm. That's fair. Yeah, I these are valid. He's been peaking every time. Bosco, you got to throw.
He'll throw with his bad arm.
That's fair.
No, you throw with your bad arm.
The doctor said it's got to stay on while he's not sleeping.
God damn it.
All right, Bosco.
Wait, wait, wait.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Pull the tape back. Pull the tape back. Watch right, Bosco. Wait, wait, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Pull the tape back.
Pull the tape back.
Oh, no.
Watch this.
Watch this.
Hold it.
Rewind it.
Rewind it.
Rewind it.
Did he flinch?
Rewind it.
Watch Tommy Smokes grab the bag before he removes the blindfold.
How did you know where the bag was? How did you know where the bag was?
Oh, man.
How did you know where the bag was, Tommy?
How did you know where the bag was?
I took the blindfold.
No, you didn't.
You grabbed it before you took the blinds off.
Come on, Bosco.
Come on, Bosco.
Then Max.
Bosco.
Oh.
Oh.
Max.
Tommy stinks.
Tommy cheated.
We should all go again.
I mean, the people need to see this, Tommy.
You got to let one of us just throw.
It's all up to Max? No. Come on. You got to stay there. We got more people. No, Tommy. You got to let one of us just throw. It's all up to Max?
No.
Come on.
You guys stay there.
We got more people.
No, no.
Max.
Come on, Max.
Woo.
Wait.
Hold on, Max.
What the fuck?
Oh, cheater.
All right.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Come on, Max.
Hold on.
All right.
Max.
Oh, it's good.
Yeah!
Max!
That's what I'm talking about.
I'm a fucking Max.
We didn't hurt him.
Fuck God.
Why didn't it hurt you?
It didn't hurt you?
I don't even really feel it.
Oh, great throw, Max.
Max, well done.
Wait, that didn't even hurt his nuts.
I want to hit him in the nuts. Nuts are
fine. Max, what a throw.
Don't let Tommy
steal the moment. Tommy won. Tommy
won again. Oh, fuck. That hurt so much.
I feel so punished.
Alright, fine.
Sit and talk.
Can I get a hug? Now that
we've fucking made up? You beat us, man.
You won. You won you won Tommy you beat us
Good job
What you think you're better than that you're better
I mean the people needed that yeah, I just can't turn down a hug
You've paid your price you don't you don't want anything you don't I would have it over with and when You don't want the karma
You don't want the karma either
It's bad karma
Apologize to Gunnar Henderson
I feel like I just did my apology
Yeah he did
But I still kind of want to hear it
Turns out that Tommy was right
He probably had to put his penis in the hole
I had to go bear pee
Yeah
Bear pee in the hole i had to go bear pee yeah damn i wouldn't mind being in the hole one day i think it would be a rush
yeah but everybody would turn into nolan ryan all of a sudden yeah
just target practice on your genitalia. No fun.
All right.
You all right, Tommy?
You all right?
Yeah, no, I really hurt my right nut.
It's a good reminder. But that should have been Max's throw.
That's your better nut.
You could have easily sold Max's throw.
Yeah, you could have.
You should have sold.
You've been in the biz long enough.
I know, I should have.
I should have.
You just.
I mean, it was just, I heard everybody going crazy.
I wasn't sure why.
It was a great throw.
Yeah.
Last throw. Great throw. Maybe you never sure why. It was a great throw. Yeah. Last throw.
Great throw.
Maybe you never had your nuts in the right position anyway.
Did it hit your nuts when it went through the hole?
It hit more like my.
Oh.
So you didn't have the nuts in the right position.
I mean, Nick in shape.
So we might have to do this whole thing again.
I thought it was.
His cock and balls were in a perfect spot.
We've got to do the whole thing again.
Keeping Tom is what's possible. His cock and balls moved since you checked them.
Impossible.
I got hard.
Tommy, you're in the final four, right?
Yeah.
Congrats.
Thank you.
Excited.
Might be another showdown.
Experts.
Your team is really good.
Bunnies might be the smartest man alive.
No, but your team's good.
We are quite good, yeah.
One game at a time, Tommy.
One game at a time.
How's everybody doing?
Pretty good.
What are you doing?
He's dead air.
Are you hitting on us?
No, I was riffing.
I got you.
I can't stop thinking about bringing a girl back to my jail cell apartment
and then driving her home in a Lambo.
Yeah.
Yeah. Not a bad gig. real good gig yeah what else what else is new tommy smoke show just chilling yeah what do
we got coming up smoke show today a live art gallery last week okay new york city when's that
coming out uh tuesday week or week from yesterday i can't wait to see that one. It looks very funny.
Yeah, a lot of people,
the gallery invited their real art crowd.
They thought it was a real art show.
That's incredible.
Is it the gallery?
The gallery.
Was it a joke or was the gallery?
The gallery knew it was a joke.
The audience did not.
The hardest I've ever cringed,
probably my top five hardest cringes are all you,
but the comedy show.
The comedy show is the best.
The hardest.
We actually just did that with Fights again.
Yes.
A couple weeks ago, but he kind of killed it.
Huh.
Damn.
Yeah.
Same venue?
No, different place.
Because yours was a real intimate venue.
Yeah, mine was a lot of old people.
He had a younger crowd.
And you weren't the worst bomb.
No, the headliner.
Yeah, he was.
Yeah, he got real Palestinian.
Yeah, he went on a real rant
against Palestine.
I miss you, Tommy.
I miss seeing you.
I miss you guys, too.
Advisors coming up soon.
Yeah, you'll get to see me then.
Yeah.
Unless you get replaced.
I would never replace Tommy.
And I would never replace you. Thanks, man tommy replaced you no we tried uh mincy that one time that you were sick
yeah he's done i think he's filled in a couple times yeah he's like tommy adjacent just couldn't
couldn't stop talking when we were doing pics remember that one yeah he just kept on giving us he then did
go on like a victory lap for how correct his stats yeah when i sent them all to him and he
would just like stew would be talking about the game and mincey would just be like i actually
think differently like what what are you doing oh tommy's perfect for the role all right anything
else to plug the yankees are really good they're great you think in
28 i think they're gonna banner 28 legitimately yeah ring number 28 ring number 28 i think
they're that good it's the best team what would that do for tommy's like what would do for your
aura my aura yeah i don't know if it would affect my aura too much okay i i don't think you can get
more confident you've been walking with a pep in
your step but you you're like one of those you're the one the yankee fan that you're not quite old
enough to like actually know winning yeah i i don't remember the late 90s right so like you
don't you have i remember oh nine you have the cockiness of a yankee fan but none of it is
actually lived experience right so like this would be big for your-
This would be big for, yes.
For cockiness.
Cockier.
Right.
Gabba Ghoul and all that.
Like the way Yankee fans, the Yankee fan, the Gabba Ghoul Yankee fans.
You are Italian.
I am Italian.
Right.
Despite my nose and my general disposition.
Yeah.
It's true.
Yeah.
Whatever do you mean?
What about your sickness? are you over it i i'd say i'm like 75 today okay woke up took a long shower did some vitamin c
ordered a nice breakfast to the hotel room i feel like i'm coming back a lot on the company card
uh yeah well no actually no it's on my card so when you get a hotel no it's on my card. You get a hotel.
No, it's on my card.
Is that the card?
Yeah, the card you give for incidentals.
Breakfast hotel is the best.
Getting room service.
Yeah, room service.
I've never really done it.
Oh, it's awesome.
So great.
Don't have to leave.
Dude, you just like eat your breakfast and get back in bed.
Yeah.
It's the laziest move ever, but it rocks.
I do it in bed.
I get real sloppy.
When we were the final four,
because we didn't have a lot going on every day,
I would just get pancakes and eggs,
eat it, and then get back in bed.
It's like, all right, my day's started.
Okay, anything else?
I'm trying to pump you up.
Do you want me to leave?
No, I'm trying to pump him up. I'm trying to pump you up do you want me to leave no i'm trying to pump my boy up you brought well you brought him in here to mother fuck him yeah i know but now that he's got
him oh he got his punishment i got my pen yeah we're back that's amazing how he always wins yeah
we're back to even yeah he was down where is that we're about of a bitch and then yeah oh i was mad
gunner hend Henderson's our guy.
I know.
I saw your tweet, and then I was like, oh, fuck.
But look, we got through it.
My nuts are in pain.
But are you still rooting for Gunnar Henderson to get hurt tonight?
No, because Aaron Judge, he's fine.
Oh.
Day to day.
So can you retract publicly?
I can publicly retract, yeah.
Okay.
It might be nice. just everyone saw a public
retraction that you're not no longer because what happens if he gets hurt yo this is like what
steven jay jaylen hurts the entire city of philadelphia wanted to burn his house down
i do know like i people get so mad when you say to throw at somebody in baseball i it's crazy like
i did that one time i think the
indians a few years ago josh nailer i was like i want to josh now to wear one on his temple and
people would have thought of like i was hit well that is life-threatening right yeah that would
be a very dangerous moment heat of the moment playoff baseball you can be like i want this
guy to get hit in the temple in the temple right in the temple right in the temple yeah
withering in pain after a hit to the temple.
Writhing.
It was writhing.
Oh, yeah.
I really thought it was withering.
It's all right.
It's all right.
It's fine.
It's fine.
All right.
Should we spit it?
Oh, we got to do high noon?
Hell, yeah.
What's call time tonight?
I think we're going to start like 8, 830, right?
Nice. Cool. so i think the
dozen ends around 730 yeah it's been it's 715 730 yeah how are your nuts feeling tommy good
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Mm-mm-mm.
Mm-mm-mm.
Mm-mm-mm.
What you looking at, Brandon?
My fish tweet from last night.
I was thinking about what I'm going to use as bait,
or what lure I'm going to use.
Oh, that's good.
I was thinking non-dozen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's not good.
No, because last night I went to my spot at about 20 minutes,
and I caught him on the second cast.
But tonight I might try, well, tomorrow night I might try a different.
If you lose the dozen today,
will you be tough to be around on the case race?
Oh, good question.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, yeah.
We need to discuss this.
If I lose, do I get an exemption?
No.
No.
You should just be an asshole ref.
You're a ref.
Also, I realize this is going to be the first case race
I think that we're doing where the
Hungover episode is going to be before the case race
Oh yeah it's going to be tough
Tomorrow it's going to be
Interesting
Without Sass here who's going to say the slurs
Yeah Quigs has got to
Quigs is going to be sleeping fine
Yeah
Alright let's spin the wheel
And let's finish with a sporkle
To get Brandon ready
Oh yeah
Yeah
Tommy stay for a sporkle
I'm good
Get ready Brandon
You got a big match tonight
Big trivia match for you tonight
And only you
We've been
We've been
Barton with it
Yep
Titus who are you guys
Gonna use your phone to friend on
It's a great question
I don't know Ken Jacks kind of fucked us
but I do know Brandon as a phone
a friend Brandon could hate all of our
guts and if you use Brandon as a phone a friend
he does not yeah he thinks
it somehow ups yeah it's something
it's it's a huge
I love you huge flaw
I don't know what I was doing
it didn't bite you
in the ass
I felt terrible
about it for
you not
we gotta plan
this sleepover soon
you don't
yeah
oh true
yeah you're not
involved at all
to be the
sleepover
I'd love a sleepover
you wanna do a sleepover
to join
we're gonna stay at Mook's want some knife out you wanna crash at Nicky's tonight maybe I'd love a sleepover You wanna do a sleepover with a joint?
Want some knife out?
You wanna crash at Nicky's tonight?
Maybe What if we just stabbed Tommy for Gunnar Henderson?
Ha ha no
You would die funnily
Oh yeah
Yeah
Cartoon
Why?
No he would be like I think I'm bleeding out.
And it would be a little scratch and he would die.
Yeah, he would die.
As long as I'd keep the people laughing on the way out.
He would.
Tommy dies after losing three ounces of blood.
Could happen.
Yeah.
Okay, let's do a sparkle.
We go one at a time, Tommy, starting with Kate.
And then whoever is left wins.
What you doodling, Kate?
I just like doodling.
I do too.
It's fun.
I just like something about it.
I watch this doodler on YouTube to calm me down every once in a while.
Just lines and shapes.
Yeah, that's what I do.
Just lines and shapes.
I do question marks and dollar signs.
Yeah?
You do the 90s S.
I do the cursive S a lot. Cursive S. Yeah. I do my name in S. I do the cursive S a lot.
I do my name
in cursive. I do that as well.
I do my first name in cursive, but not
the name I go by. I do full government.
Cursive T is
way better than cursive B. There's something about
me, Thomas. It goes, cursive T
into an H, into an O. It's a
fun word to write. So satisfying.
Yeah.
Into an M.
M is just a fun time for me.
There's no bad letter in cursive T.
L is the best.
Z.
Something to think about.
All right.
One shortest president in U.S. history.
Two first names are the only people to win Survivor twice.
Three largest cities in Italy.
Four countries to have won gold in men's Olympic basketball.
Five basic classifications of Earth's climates.
Six live-action movies featuring Jason Segel with box office over $50 million.
Seven current flavors of Fanta soda available in the USA.
Eight species of bears from around the world.
Nine biggest university endowments in the U.S.
And 11 NHL teams to have yellow gold as a team
color this one's gonna go a while yep yep all right we got a lot of meat on this bone okay if
you win i'll do your grocery shopping for you one day okay oh hell yeah all right i'm throwing that Oh god The voice trembled
Oh no
Black bear
Nice
Oh
Fancy
United States of America
That a boy
Nice
Brown bear
Tony That a boy. Nice. Brown bear.
Tony.
I didn't want to spoil that for you.
Penguins.
I knew.
Predators.
Yuck.
Bruins.
Sandra. Sandra.
Kate.
Oh, fuck.
It's the second time.
It sneaks up on her every time.
Every time.
Every time it sneaks up on her. Okay.
I'm so sorry.
Orange.
Yeah, orange. Took mine. I'm so sorry. Orange?
Yeah, orange.
Took mine.
Vegas nights.
Nice.
Dude, nice.
Golden nights.
Grape.
Milan. Milan.
Rome? Melan Rome Forgetting
Wait that's the right guy right?
Sarah Marshall
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Brandon it says live action
Oh wait
What?
No fucking shit
I thought like action movie
Like Bond shit
With Jason's.
He's not an anime.
Yeah, that's why I was confused.
That's why I wasn't pecking at that one.
Kodiak.
Ooh.
Oh, damn.
Ain't no bear?
Ain't no bear.
Wait, is that the name of a brown bear?
Damn.
I'm out.
Idiot.
I love you.
Kate, you're up next.
Yeah, thank you.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry're up next. Thank you.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Polar.
Let's go polar bear.
Oh, she doubled again.
Double polar.
Shit.
She's getting shopped for, dude.
Oh, boy. Oh boy This really hit us This is tough
This really hit us
Venice
Venice, Italy
Try Italy
Try Venice, Italy Comma, Italy. Try Italy. Try Venice, Italy.
Comma, Italy.
Venice.
As the third largest city in Italy,
that would be Venice with a B.
B as in Venice.
Harvard.
Good answer.
Numero uno.
Stanford.
Stanford. Stanford.
Desert.
Ah!
What is that called?
I'm gonna go
tropical. Fuck.
Bad
teacher.
Strawberry.
You don't have to explain the movie.
It was up there.
It was fucking up there, dude.
Good Luke.
Fuck.
Give me watermelon.
Terrible guess.
That's awful.
Just awful.
Not really a pine and a Yale.
Big Cat, you still in?
I'm out.
Oh, peach.
Son of a bitch.
That was awful. No, there's a that was all right there's a phantom peach
we've done this before on the five-year engagement is awful this is a risk there's a five there's a Fuck I guess that's me
Panda bear
Nah
Is that a bear?
Alright so it's Moop, KB, and Kate
I'm out
Oh it's KB and Kate
Oh my god
I hate groceries
Why'd I do that?
She's been hustling us the whole time.
Oh, man.
Wait, it's KB's turn, right?
It's KB's turn.
It's my turn?
Yeah.
Yes.
You could win right here, Jake.
Princeton.
Yeah.
Nice.
Yep.
Gotta be.
She's writing down her answers.
I'm afraid I'm going to fall into the trap that Nick did.
Okay.
Saying something wrong?
Yeah, that was the biggest mistake I made.
No, this is going to be a wild, and this could fuck me up pineapple.
I think she's right.
I think you're right.
I think she's right.
Yes. AB, back to you. I think you're right. She's right Yes
To you
Wait, I can't think of any I grit Grizzly. I can't think have to go grocery shopping. What the fuck?
I give you the list, right?
You have to go grocery shopping.
Why did you do that?
Oh, my God.
Oh, I never thought this would happen.
Also, Mike, we're in a townhouse.
You have to bring the groceries upstairs.
I know what I signed up for.
Pay for them, too.
This is the first one I've ever won.
The Blues have the Sabres.
Florida Panthers.
Dry is what desert is?
What are the other bears?
Spectacled
Sun and Sloth. I had Sun.
We should have ran Endowments.
Calgary we should have got. The rest of them, the yellow
was... Wait, Calgary has yellow or gold?
No, they were red. Yellow around
the flame. Red and yellow.
Where's the Senators? Who led Argentina to... Wait, Calgary has yellow or gold? I thought they were red. Yellow around the flame. Red and yellow. Oh, yeah.
Argentina?
Where's the senators?
Oh, is it the head? Who led Argentina to?
Manu, yeah.
Oh, not that.
08, maybe?
Yeah.
Luis Scolo's 04.
04.
Kate!
Kate!
Wow.
Kyle's going grocery shopping.
Love it.
I can't wait.
Thank you.
The Jason Segel stuff, because he's not the main guy in This Is 40.
He's just in it.
Well, he's in it.
Featuring.
Featuring.
That question broke you, Mook.
Live action featuring.
Yeah, that fucked me up.
That was like Che getting a dozen premise points.
Did you guys know dry was a climate?
I was going to throw out tundra.
Yeah, I thought tundra.
That's a truck.
Arctic.
That's a truck.
All right.
How many trucks are also professional team names?
The Ram.
Or cars in general.
The F1.
Cars in general, I think.
There's a lot of car.
Yeah.
Patriot.
Mustang.
Sure, sure.
Jaguar.
The Dolphin.
Jaguar.
The Laker the hmm Laker
the Laker
the Tundra
would be a good team
it would
Utah Hockey Club
Utah Hockey Club
that would be an awesome vehicle
it's a great car
alright we'll see you
everyone tomorrow
please like and subscribe
and we'll see you tomorrow
hungover episode
oof
alright full time
nice right at 2 o'clock And we'll see you tomorrow hungover episode. Oof. All right. What time?
Nice.
Right at 2 o'clock.
Oh, let's do. Thank you. Bye guys.
See you on the other side of the case race. Bye.