The Yak - Vibes are High on Roofball Eve | The Yak 6-21-23
Episode Date: June 21, 2023Tim Hitchings: Still a winnerYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Looks good
Feels good
Feel good
Play good
Feels good
Play good
Good to have you back
Play good
It's good to be back
Welcome back
24 hour trip
What'd you miss?
Or what happened?
I went to Nashville
For
Tight End University How was it? It was awesome How many interviews Did you have? Six Or what happened? I went to Nashville for tight end university.
How was it?
It was awesome.
How many interviews did you have?
Six.
That's a lot.
It was a long time.
All tight ends?
Travis Kelsey.
And a quarterback.
Really?
Travis Kelsey, yes.
Really?
He knows who Che is.
Awesome.
Doesn't know who Che is.
What?
Did have... That doesn't mind me at all. Pat Fryerm't know who Che is. What?
That doesn't mind me at all.
Pat Fryermuth, who unfortunately, he never received his block of the year.
Nobody else has either.
It's just a brick.
Kind of embarrassing for me when I was like, how honored were you to win block of the year?
He's like, well, I never got a trophy.
I'm like, well. Where would we even find a brick and this is supposed to be the vp of football operations
where can we even get a brick from to give him though i understand where you're coming from
no other previous award winners have received fully the award so it's the worst award ever
no yeah i mean it it's uh that's quentin nelson got a, didn't he? He does not have it, no.
Well, he left it here, but he did receive it fully.
Yes.
Technically, I presented it to him, yes.
Was it ever in his hands?
I actually don't know if he ever touched it.
You got to give these out to the guys that want it.
It's not too long of a lineage for you to be able to make it all right
and get these blocks out.
Send them a brick. Send it to the team facility all right i'll have to do something to rectify
this issue it was super embarrassing for me did you really ask him about it yeah i was mortified
i was imagine being like hey what how'd you feel winning this prestigious award? And he's like, I never got the award.
He acknowledged it.
He never got the award.
He acknowledged that it was his first game of his career.
He blocked Tredavis White out of bounds into a kicking net. Never got the award.
Whatever.
Jay, you're excited to get your photo taken today with a guest.
Yes.
Yes.
Earl Nassim.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was a personal highlight for me.
He was on the Bucs this past year,
but four Bucs players with the team before we got Brady,
and I was like, hey, I know he's not big on Twitter.
I was like, I've done cut-ups for the team for the last seven or eight years.
I was like, I have a bunch of your greatest plays, and he's like, no way.
So I just name-searched him with my name,
and I walked him through a bunch of his uh great
plays from 2018 2019 look at that good good for both of you yeah he recalled it with great memory
and joy guys are good together nice so it sounds like you guys hit it off yeah it's my second time
meeting i met him at training camp a bunch of years ago second date second time meeting i mean
i met him at what's the second date of you've met him. Yeah, you've met him.
You guys say you're close to more than friends?
Probably gave a smooth dap to end as we parted ways.
Hell, yes.
Nice.
You guys fit good together, like, size-wise.
Yeah, you do.
Yeah.
He asked me what brand my shirt was.
I said Roback, promo code YAK, 20% off.
He liked it.
Nice.
Yeah, good dude.
Damn, Nassif. It's a power power couple i'm not jumping in the sandbox neither is steven my sandbox got washed away during the flood so tight ends are some of
the cold coolest white boys in the world you think yeah oh we had dallas goddard on
is he a cool white boy?
The man.
Really?
I think he might.
Is he mixed?
I don't think so.
I didn't think that.
But he might be.
Did he say something that made you think that?
No, he's cool as fuck.
He's cooler than a white boy.
Dude, there's unfortunate footage of him one time.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
I didn't bring it up because I read your blog when I was doing research.
Oh, really?
He got knocked the fuck out.
Where?
Like in his first off season.
I think he's from South Dakota.
Yes.
And he was at a bar in South Dakota and like a significantly smaller guy went to the top
of the bell tower and fucking knocked him out.
Really?
That might be one of man's biggest fears.
It was a sucker punch.
This is a tight end.
This is a tight end.
You know, tight ends are the bad...
This is like a 6'5", 265 type of dude.
Yeah, I didn't want to bring that up.
Felt like that would have been...
Remember the time you got knocked out?
Yeah.
It is just... Always comes to your mind.
You'd be so much douchier as a man if that wasn't a possibility.
Yeah.
Oh, it was, Ron, the entire interview, in the back of my head, I was like, should I bring up the time he got knocked out?
But he was so cool.
Yeah, he's way too cool.
He was so much fun to talk to that I didn't want to sour it at all.
Was it like a sucker punch that got him?
Yeah.
Okay, that's way better. Let's watch it and talk about how that's way better. How sour it at all. Was it like a sucker punch? Yeah. Okay, that's way better.
Let's watch it and talk about how that's way better.
That's kind of fair it was.
He also...
Unblogged it.
He leads the NFL in yards per target
over the last two years, including receivers.
Whoa.
As a tight end.
Damn.
10.2 yards per target.
You just had that off the top of your head?
Yeah, bro.
I'm fucking locked in.
I love football so much.
I just want it to be back.
I did a mock fantasy draft this past week.
This is where we have a differing of opinion, Roan, because you love summer,
and summer is just like when is football starting.
I don't think Roan loves summer because he's obsessed with saying that the days are getting shorter.
Well, it's obsessed.
Today's the first day, right?
It dangles over my head.
No, today's the longest day.
So tomorrow it starts getting shorter.
Damn.
That sucks.
Until December.
I didn't bring that up.
But I am always thinking about it.
But I do love football.
Man, I love football.
One of those guys?
Man, I love football.
Does the shorter days?
I actually am, too.
I'm just so aware of it.
It sucks so bad.
I tell my mom every Labor Day summer's over,
and she gets so mad at me.
She's like, there's still three weeks.
Nah.
I say that Memorial Day.
I'm excited for NFL football in the central time zone.
Yes.
Oh, God, that's going to be divine.
Yes.
Not having games. Start at 8.30 on Monday night. Yes. Oh, God. That's going to be divine. Yes. Not having games.
Start at 8.30 on Monday night.
8.30 sucks.
So late.
Wow. 7.30 start?
That's basically fucking Jeopardy.
That's Wheel of Fortune. Yeah.
What the hell? Yeah.
What, Steven? I'm not looking forward to Central
Time Zone. I like Eastern.
It gets so late watching these games.
You could be more
of a night owl with this.
You can watch all the games.
I always watch all the games.
You watch all the NBA games?
West Coast? If I have a bet on it.
Okay.
Now it ends at like
midnight instead of 1am.
Yeah, but it also starts earlier which I don't like as much.
With kids, that's the prime bedtime time.
Yeah, my kids are going to go to bed at 5.
You should just never get them adjusted to central time.
Keep putting them to bed an hour early every night.
My son's school starts at 7.30 next year.
That's absurd. He's going to bed at like 6 o'clock. Oh at 7.30 next year. That's absurd.
He's going to bed at like 6 o'clock.
Oh.
Yeah.
7.30?
Yeah.
That's so early.
Ungodly.
You have the video, TJ?
It's a video of a video.
See that?
See it, KB?
Oh.
I'm trying to.
Oh, man.
He's laying like a chalk outline.
Running back for KB.
He was engaged.
Oh, that was not his fault.
Total sucker punch.
He was engaged and someone sucker punched him.
Oh.
Like you could see the last second he was like, oh, fuck.
That was a nice punch.
It was.
Great follow through. Right like, oh, fuck. That was a nice punch. It was. Great follow through.
Right on the jaw, too.
Guys like that that do the damage.
It's not always the fucking Hulking 6'5", big bad guy.
Thank you.
Those guys can do the damage, but guys like Nick, guys built like Nick,
are usually the ones that are knocking dudes the fuck out.
Cracking skulls.
Nick, you're always cracking.
Nick, how was that show last night?
It was great.
Yeah?
What did you guys do?
I went to go see Mark Normand at the stand, but Maddie Wiener had me.
She's so fucking funny.
I didn't stop laughing the entire time.
She was phenomenal.
It was a good show.
Yeah, she did our show last night, too.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Making the rounds.
Shot the round?
Nice.
She's really good.
Really good.
Maddie Wiener's just a funny name.
Yeah, you almost have to go into comedy or politics.
You don't know if that's a guy or a girl, really.
That was Michael Kosta.
Really good.
Yeah, he's funny.
Did he do any of his tennis stuff?
No tennis stuff.
Tennis stuff?
Oh.
Can you do it for us?
I don't know it off the top of my head.
Wow.
No, it's funny.
Just a little bit.
Yeah, that was a good lineup.
How was...
You missed yesterday's show
How was the thing you did instead
It was good
I did Matt and Shane's
It was fun
Good times
Yeah
Yeah
This guy's the best
Sick
Yeah
Doing podcasts like that
Always scares me though
Why
I don't know
I don't know what's gonna happen
When it comes out
And I hope people like it
You know
I don't think that's weird
I feel the same way.
We're going to be angry.
You've been on a little press tour.
I know.
The W you get from that should be you doing it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Have you done it before?
Yeah.
So then you're fine.
Yeah.
Last time I didn't really talk and I talked this time.
Too much.
No, that's a natural transition.
Sounds like you talked too much.
Sass was their second option, their second choice.
Yeah, you want to know who their number one was?
No.
Can we say it?
Frank.
You want Frank on?
I'm fine being the second option.
You should get Frank on.
Yeah, they asked.
He texted me and said, can you bring Frank to my house to do the podcast?
Yes, I'll make sure that he goes next time.
I was kind of like,
I was like, you should ask Roan,
because Roan is kind of more of a caretaker than I am.
I don't think me and Frank go into fucking...
I was texting with Shane the other day.
He's got an Airbnb for Ohio State, Notre Dame.
He was like, bring Frank.
I was like, done.
I might just drop Frank off.
Yeah.
Give him a crown bag of lunch.
He's like, Frank, fly into Chicago.
I'll pick you up. I'll drop you off.
I'll be back on Sunday.
That's kind of what I was wondering.
I was like, so am I going to Uber to their house with Frank
and then just turn around?
I'll be back in an hour to pick you up.
I'll get you a bag full of goldfish.
I'm going to be like, dude, just tell me when. I'll just back in an hour to pick you up. I'll give him a Ziploc bag full of goldfish. Fuck, I want to... I'm going to hit up...
I'm going to be like, dude, just tell me when.
I'll just bring Frank.
I'll stand behind the camera and let Frank go.
Yeah, tell Shane his allergies.
I'll just pass Shane some notes being like,
bring this up, bring this up, bring this up.
That'll be awesome.
I hope they do that.
If he gets ornery, just chew on this Lego Eiffel Tower.
Oh, yeah, Frank's on. He's going to do it. If he gets ornery, just chew on this Lego Eiffel Tower. Oh, yeah.
Frank's on.
He's going to do it.
That'll be great.
I have some other news.
Fourth kid?
No.
What if you were right?
Definitely not fourth kid.
What worth the risk?
I think I'm breaking up with Tim Hitchings.
Oh, damn.
I think it's over.
Tried for a couple weeks.
Called him a winner.
Lauded his praises.
I don't even know if that's the right saying.
You sang his praises?
I sang his praises.
And lauded him.
I lauded him and sang his praises.
But he had a tweet today that really pissed me off.
DJ?
I told DJ not to look.
Go ahead. today that really pissed me off dj i told dj not to look go ahead i'm amazed dismayed and disappointed in the number of tweets poking fun of the
missing submersible situation does everyone really think they're that funny trust me you're not
i'm with them those people are kind of what I was on yesterday. I was on that wave yesterday.
Why?
Nah.
They, like, that thing was a fucking joke.
They should have gone in it.
Yeah.
I don't wish for anyone to die, but if you go to the Titanic in a fucking joke of a submarine,
you can't be like, Twitter, please don't make fun of my death.
They're not even dead yet.
They're dying. They're dead even dead yet. They're dying.
They're dead.
Definitely dead.
They are dead.
Definitely been dead for a while.
They are 100% dead.
Not a while.
Yeah.
They died 30 minutes into that.
They died instantly.
Yeah.
Really?
Dude.
Because that's how it always works.
Oh, they probably suffered and they may still.
Oh, they died right away.
This is like the flight in Malaysia where everyone's like, oh, they probably were on an...
No, they died.
Yeah.
They're dead.
I would probably accelerate it.
I would probably be like...
Open that hatch.
You can't open it from the inside.
It's bolted.
Something broke on that stupid...
They shot in.
They probably...
They just died instantly.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
They're dead.
Weren't they, like, building in there?
Like, a lot of this is kind of just like improvised.
The guy was talking about where he got the parts.
He got a lot of it from Camping World.
Yeah.
Yeah, and he said he, there's a quote where he's like, yeah, safety is not paramount.
Like safety is the death of innovation.
I love that line.
We don't do safety.
It is a good line.
Yeah, but it's also like if you're going to do that.
Natural selection.
What was going on in the
titanic part like that's titanic like i heard the forms have been like the forms you sign bring up
death a lot a lot oh yeah there was like a 19 year old kid on this thing i don't want people to die
yeah but i also like you can't tell twitter not to make fun of that i think the people
are happy making fun of it because the a lot the people on there. That's more of it.
It's the people on Twitter who do play the moral game.
Yeah.
Police like racism, sexism every single day.
And then they act like, oh, they finally have a reason to get the jokes off for likes because they're billionaires.
Oh, yeah.
I don't agree with that.
I can't feel sympathy for the situation.
I also like I'm not making jokes about it, but I also have no...
The material is there.
I have no problem with people making jokes about it.
No.
It's to be expected.
That's my point.
It's the internet.
I'm not outraged by it,
but I think it's just people are waiting
for one joke to be successful on Twitter,
and then everybody's going,
That's not their organic opinion.
Oh.
Correct.
I also think it's like the, it's not,
like, obviously, if it was just five dudes died,
I think it's more the absurdity of the situation that they're in a tiny ass submarine.
I also have a take, a little spicy take.
Oh, who's that guy?
He's the guy.
If you want to make a friend, that's the guy to make friends with.
He's the wallet.
Oh, he's the CFO. He's giving out the money?
He's the guy that says if things get
money or not. I'm about
to make friends with him.
He's getting all the waves.
What was your spicy take?
Get that shit off.
I don't think that we should waste
resources trying to find them.
Oh, no, I agree. It's like
a very spicy take.
I feel like we're
a lot of money, a lot of
manpower
going to find people who
willingly said
safety doesn't matter.
Yeah, but also I don't give a fuck if they use
resources to find them. What are the resources they're using?
That's true. I just think that
if you say
Unless you don't do shit anyway.
Yeah.
If you say safety doesn't matter
then that's
you mean that.
Like you basically made
a sub that can't go that deep
and tried to go that deep.
I'm not crazy aware
of this story.
Like I kind of know
that they're like fell
going off Titanic or whatever.
I think we're talking about
the actual Titanic.
I was just finding out about it.
It'd be the equivalent of
if you died in your basement flood.
But you're dying with your boys, and it's instantaneous, right?
I don't think it's their boys, though.
Oh, it's definitely not their boys.
They're not best friends?
No.
Oh, that stinks.
They bought tickets to go on that.
Yeah, I think it's like they all know each other.
They paid a quarter million dollars.
Best friends?
A quarter million dollars?
I think that's it.
$250K.
To go explore the Titanic.
The CEO of that company is on the sub.
Those guys have to be so mad at him.
Oh, they probably killed him so fast.
Do you think they killed him to preserve oxygen?
Probably.
Wow.
He's wasting oxygen?
They all are.
They have guns or harpoons down there to make it faster.
I definitely, if I went on that, would have brought a cyanide capsule. He's wasting oxygen? They all are. They have guns or harpoons down there to make it faster.
Oh, I definitely would have.
I definitely, if I went on that, would have brought a cyanide capsule.
Yeah.
Wow.
Cyanide would be probably so nice for them at this point.
The crazy thing is, like, they don't even know.
So is there windows in it?
One little one right in front of the toilet.
And even if they surface, they can't open it.
How long were they supposed to be down there?
I don't know that.
A couple hours? Yeah. I think they had, like, 96 hours of oxygen total. So they would't open it. How long were they supposed to be down there? I don't know that. A couple hours?
Yeah.
I think they had like 96 hours of oxygen total,
so they would have been back.
I don't think,
I think they were an hour and a half into it,
and it was like two and a half hours to get down there.
Oh wait, they're dead now.
They said 2 p.m.
Yeah. Oh, so they have 40 minutes.
They set an alarm for 2 p.m.
Can we put a timer up?
Yeah, that'd be fun.
This is so fucked up.
I know.
That's fucked up.
Yeah, but I just...
Tim Hitchin's got to know what Twitter...
People who are risk takers, it is harder to feel sympathy because there's always that risk of death.
But at the end of The Alpinist, it's still sad.
Yes.
Right, and that kid who got eaten by the shark, that was the dumbest thing possible that you could do.
But he still got eaten alive by a shark.
I also...
I prefer that to what this shit is.
Is this a Scorpion episode right now?
It's feeling like Scorpion.
Do you guys remember the Nutty Putty Cave in Utah?
That guy that thought it was a different chamber
and he just got stuck upside down?
Oh, shit.
And the rescuers were at his feet
and couldn't get him out.
Oh, my God.
Oh.
That's horrific.
There's also...
Isn't there...
Like, James Cameron went down and saw the Titanic
a dozen times.
People have done it successfully.
People have done it with that company.
There are safer submarines to go down and see it.
Somebody, the person, a journalist did it with that company that's doing it,
and he said the first time it went down it failed 30 minutes,
and they had to go back up and then go back down.
That's crazy.
A journalist did it with some Danish dude, and he murdered her.
What?
Yeah.
What?
On the ship?
Not a Titanic thing, but she hopped in a submarine with this guy to cover the story, and he just murdered her.
Yeah, he cut her up.
Wow.
And he got caught?
Yeah.
He got caught.
I do remember that.
Why?
At the end of the day, I do feel bad that people died i just know that twitter
that's what twitter does that is what twitter does right you can't be like stop everyone i think
there's a little bit of false hope with the time they're like there's we heard banging noises
yeah i could be probably what the fuck is the stepson doing oh yeah he's like 182
this is devastating but i'm not missing blank for. He's like, Blink 182. This is devastating, but I'm not missing Blink for this.
He's like,
what is he tweeting?
It also feels like
it's not that devastating for him
because it sounds like
he's having a lot of money.
Yeah, he loves it.
And he also didn't get invited.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, he's probably pumped.
There was a guy,
I read an article,
that was supposed to go
and couldn't go
at the last second for something.
Wahlberg?
I'm sure there's going to be
a shit ton of stories about that.
What's this?
Stepson, a missing
billionaire on Titanic submarine, shoots his shot
with OnlyFans model as rescuers scramble
to locate his stepfather. We all grieve
in different ways.
Can I sit? Oh my god!
Please keep my family in your prayers.
Next tweet. Can I sit on you?
Yes, please. Yes, please. Yeah. It was one. Yeah, he was close to throwing the please in there. Please keep my family in your prayers Next tweet Can I sit on you? Yes please That's please
Yeah
It was one
Yeah he was close to throwing the please in there
That emoji too
I could use you right now
Yeah
Welcome distraction
I want you to submerge
Did you guys talk about this stuff yesterday?
Yeah a little bit
We talked about the Blink-182 guy
It's the same guy
That's all everyone's talking about
It's the same guy It's the same guy. That's all everyone's talking about.
What's his Twitter name?
It's like Audio Guy. Audio Guy 182. He hates his
stepdad.
Oh, he's on record hating this guy? No, he might.
He's just celebrating his stepdad's
demise. He's like, oh, my family's about to inherit a billion
dollars because I go to a concert.
The guy's Twitter handle
has 182 in it.
Huge Blink fan.
I'll let it slide.
His dad's had Titanic in it.
I mean, you got to go to that show if you have 182 in your Twitter name.
That does not sound like the optimal adventure thing.
No. Even for an adventurer, being able to see in pitch dark the bottom of the sea through a tiny window, the Titanic ruins.
In front of the toilet.
That's not breathtaking.
Who gives a shit about the Titanic?
They had to go look at it through a little window?
You can't go out.
They would explode.
There's a brand of people. I guess I thought they were doing that.
There's a brand of people that do things just to say they did it.
That's billionaire stuff, though.
Going to do that is just only something that a billionaire would do because they probably have already done everything.
Less people have been to that depth than have been into space.
That's fucking crazy.
Oh, I don't understand depths.
I think just the pressure is so insane.
Yeah, it's that insane.
It's just so many pounds of water are just sitting on top of your head.
Someone said it was like if the Empire State Building was made out of lead on top of you.
That's the pressure?
Yeah.
Holy shit.
That's crazy.
I think it's like 100 times the pressure.
I believe it.
You ever go down like 10 feet?
Yeah.
Your ears hurt.
It's like the worst pain I've ever felt.
I'm such a pussy when I get like 10 feet.
So if that thing
sprung a leak
they didn't feel a thing.
They probably didn't
even have a second to
but if it held up
they're like
they freeze to death right?
Is that what happened
if they lost power
and they're under that deep?
I don't think they lost power.
They would just
spread out of oxygen.
I guess they don't know.
But it's weird
because there were like
seven fail safes
on this thing.
So there were like
sandbags that would
dissolve and float it back up.
They could all go to one side of the submarine and it would tilt it.
And like there was a lot they could do.
I don't know.
Well, they don't even know if they're on the surface.
That's what's crazy.
Yeah, they could be on the surface.
They don't even know.
I would be worse to die that way.
You're saying they could have risen to the surface?
They wouldn't know because they're exploring.
They would have to look the entire ocean.
Yeah.
That's why it's like.
No one knows where they are.
Probably failed the minute they lost communication.
They all died.
Yeah.
That's probably.
That's like, for the peace of mind, probably the best way to think.
Oh, absolutely.
What snacks do you think they had on there?
Ruffles.
Do you think it's a long enough trip for a snack?
I don't think it's supposed to be a four day.
I mean, if you look at the.
Still like at least some charcuterie.
Yeah.
Some figs.
Imagine the vibes if you're stuck in that
like for like 24 hours, you're like, wait,
I got some
beef jerky. I found crackers. Yeah.
Yeah, you just have
one Slim Jim. Let's go!
Yeah!
Let's fucking go!
You think it's an easy death once the oxygen runs out or you think it's like a brutal you're scared the hours leading up yeah I'm thinking more of the fear
yeah unbearable and just being trapped like the claustrophobic fear what do you think they're
doing if they're alive right now what are they doing they got 40 minutes trying homosexuality
probably killing each other probably fucking they're probably right now, what are they doing? They got 40 minutes. Trying homosexuality? Probably killing each other?
Probably fucking.
They're probably fucking like crazy.
The oxygen,
they're probably really confused.
They have enough oxygen right now,
right?
What if they're euphoric?
Well,
no,
because the lack of,
right?
It starts to make,
like,
you wouldn't even know.
You just start to get really confused.
Probably acting wasted,
yeah.
Probably hot.
No,
they're freezing.
You think?
Yeah.
Once you start losing oxygen, you start sweating,
and you start getting really delusional and hot.
Oh, shit, they're probably hot.
That's what happens when they climb Everest.
It's like a mash-up of the ten worst ways to die.
I know.
That's why I was just like...
Isn't drowning supposed to be the worst way to die?
I don't know.
I feel like no one really has the account to compare.
I would say burning alive would be pretty bad.
I think drowning is pretty bad because you've got to wait for your lungs to fill up.
There's no way to prove it.
What if drowning feels good?
Yeah.
I could see it being a very relaxing...
Garhunter scorpion shit.
Yeah.
I think it's three minutes.
There's definitely one dude out there right now who's like,
my dad died in a submarine.
In the jet?
Yeah.
There's so many. I there right now who's like, my dad died in a submarine. In the jet? Yeah. There's so many.
I watched this show to cope.
I've heard that with drowning you do get, like, a certain euphoria.
Oh, my God.
I'm sure that happens with any death.
How do you hear that?
People that have, like, drowned but then, like, survived.
Because I think after three minutes you go unconscious.
And then, like, three minutes after that brain damage starts.
So in that between-
Three minutes is a long time. I was also saying
there's a shipwreck that's about
the same size as Titanic in, I think, the
Mediterranean that you can scuba
dive to. Much nicer, cooler
shipwrecks. Seen one shipwreck,
seen them all. What do you want to see on the Titanic?
Like Jack's cum stain?
Yeah.
They washed off.
I was reading a lot about the people who first found it.
That had to have been a thrill.
1985 was when they first found the Titanic wreckage.
Can we watch video of what it looks like just to kind of have a leg up on these guys?
You feel like we were there?
Yeah.
See it?
Because I feel like there's pretty...
You should have just waited a year until those Apple virtual reality goggles came out.
Yeah.
I'm sure they're going to have some good Titanic simulators.
Yeah, then you could just, like, fake it.
Like, just be...
Just get into a capsule and go, like, ten feet under.
Yeah, yeah.
Just show it on the screen.
They weren't going to see shit.
Okay.
I mean, yeah, I wouldn't be like, I'm glad I did this looking at that.
Yeah, and I don't even know if you can tell people
Cause like before this
Event
I assumed everyone was able to go see the Titanic
Yeah totally
I was like I thought people were seeing it daily
Yeah right so I
There was nothing special
I guess now it does make it special now that we know the danger
Well hopefully they at least got to see it
Yeah actually like If you're gonna die maybe like I guess now it does make it special now that we know the danger. Well, hopefully they at least got to see it.
Yeah, actually, if you're going to die, maybe the best way would be if your submarine is right next to the Titanic.
So the next people get to go and see it.
See you both.
Yeah.
One of the theories is that they took the submarine into the wreckage and got stuck inside of it.
Whoa, that would be badass.
That was definitely the 19-year-old.
I want to see inside of it.
Daddy, you promised.
That's how 19-year-olds talk.
Daddy.
Billionaire at 19-year-olds.
Man.
I don't know.
I feel bad for them.
I feel awful.
I feel bad.
Yeah, I definitely feel bad.
I think there's definitely one of us who doesn't feel as bad as the rest.
Who's that?
Somebody feels the worst.
I would say that, yeah.
If we all feel bad on a spectrum, I'm closest to not feeling bad.
And I'm not mad at jokes.
I'm just not doing them.
Yeah, no, I agree with that.
I'm all for joking about tragedies, but don't try to justify it with anything.
They're taking them all high ground. I'm allowed to joke about this because, but don't try to justify it with anything. They're taking moral high ground.
I'm allowed to joke about this because.
So is him taking moral high ground.
Okay, yeah.
EJ, defend your pops one time.
He's a Coast Guard veteran.
He's probably thinking better today. Oh, he is?
Oh, no.
He never saw action. He's probably jealous is what he Oh, he is? Oh, no. Yeah, he never saw action.
He's probably jealous
is what he is.
He never saw action.
Yeah.
He'd probably kill
to be on the force right now.
Looking for the boys.
Yeah.
This is probably
like the best day ever
in the history of time.
He's like Steve Buscemi
going to the firehouse.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sign me back up.
Just hop on the back of a boat
Hitchings you retired 25 years ago
Send me down there
25
45
Is that Hitchings?
My god
Man the old sailor's back
We're gonna find these people god damn it
This is worse than we thought.
From what I've been told, he just went to Hawaii for like two years and just kind of
hung out.
That rules.
All right.
Now he's a winner again.
Fuck.
When he came back home, it was tough for him to sleep on a bed.
He's used to a hammock and two palm trees.
Except for his porn game also.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
So update the record books, TJ.
I had your dad as a loser for 20 minutes today. He's back. Except it's a porn game also. Hell yeah. So update the record books, TJ.
I had your dad as a loser for 20 minutes today.
He's back.
He's back.
He's back to being a winner.
Because he was out in Hawaii spearfishing mahi-mahi.
Rules.
And then to be able to be like, yeah, I served in the Coast Guard.
Shut your damn mouth, you fuck. He won't even use veteran discounts or anything anywhere.
He's like, yeah, I didn't do enough to get that.
What a hero.
10% off?
Oh, T.
It's Stephen.
What did he say?
He was like, 10% off?
You've got to use it.
Coast Guard.
Do we have these guys?
Yeah, you want to?
Yeah, let's do an ad and then let's talk to them.
We've got the roof ball guys.
Hell yes.
We've got the roof ball guys, and we also have some High Noon,
some sweet, delicious High Noon.
I think I'm going to have some High Noons this weekend,
some High Noons tequila seltzers.
I'm at the Barstool Bar down in Nashville, honky-tonk style,
and I'm pretty sure that I'm going to wake up the next day feeling fantastic
because High Noon just has that sweet, clean, crisp flavor.
And there's something special that's given it that flavor. And that's the lack of malt.
Malt is the enemy. And high noon is your friend because there's not a drop of malt in there.
100 calories, real tequila, some nice Blanco tequila, gluten-free, no added sugars. It's just available nationwide, and it's so good.
Strawberry, lime, grapefruit, passion fruit.
High Noon Tequila Seltzer is great in the outdoors, especially around the pool, the lake, the beach, golfing, tailgating.
Or if you're down in Nashville, whooping it up, opening a bar.
You can look for them at Drizzly or at your local convenience or liquor store.
Visit highnoonspears.com to find some high noon near you.
Okay, so speaking of high noon, tomorrow, Roofball.
We have Roofball founder Adam Willis on the call.
And then do we also have Derek Weber, 13-time Roofball champion?
We do.
Oh, look at these guys.
What's up, guys?
How's it going?
Great.
Well, that sounds great.
Yeah, we're going to play some roofball tomorrow.
I feel great, too.
Yeah, wait.
So, wait.
Who's coming out?
Derek, you're coming out, right?
No, Adam's going to make it out tomorrow.
Adam, you're going to be on the call, correct?
I will be on the call.
I'll do whatever you guys want me to do, basically.
I'm there to have some fun.
Okay.
I heard a rumor that you might not be able to officially commission this game we're playing tomorrow because of the structure of the roof.
It's not sanctioned?
Say it ain't so.
No, no, it's not so.
When I first looked at the roof, it looked like there wasn't a target on the roof.
And I was like, well, if there's no target, it's not really our game.
But as long as you're throwing at something, trying hit it you're good to go okay because that's
you were about to step into a dangerous territory where we were going to create an alternate roof
ball league and then have the saudis buy it and just completely squeeze you out yeah that's my
nightmare okay yeah okay wait so 13 time champion how many is that everyone that you've won uh i think as of this one a couple weekends
ago i've played in 39 so i win about one every three so there have been 60 okay so wow are you
bad for roofball like are you like yukon women's hoops super team yeah yes yes he is i'll answer
that for him he's definitively the goat he is the second most
is eight and that guy stopped winning like 10 years ago so he's the guy wow sweet sweet do you
have uh championships in like multiple decades yeah uh i started in 2008 so it was my first
tournament okay is it um he won his first one and he won his most recent one.
So, yeah, he won in the odds, the teens, and the 20s.
Wow.
He's doing just fine.
So, is it strategic or you just have better accuracy?
Well, boy, oh, boy.
I guess maybe a little bit of both.
I mean, there's strategy when you go and you throw it.
You can't just wing it up there.
I know you all watch some of the videos and stuff. I'm'm sure when you look at it you can look at some folks you're
like well they have they have more skill maybe in throwing stuff than the next guy um and therefore
that leads to doing a little bit better but depending on the roof and the bounces there's
different places where you want to throw it uh depending on the situation what you want to do
with it so when you kind of got to go for it when you need to pull it, depending on the situation, what you want to do with it, when you've got to go for it,
when you need to pull back.
So there's some thought into it as well as far as a game
where there's only 10 throws.
Is there any injury concern?
What's the biggest injury you've seen on the gridiron?
Well, we just had a guy twist his knee real good.
I don't know if he ended up actually tearing something,
but in our last tournament, the RFA Cup,
it just happened a couple weekends ago, last weekend in the championship game eight throws in uh one of our contenders tweaked his
knee real good like hyper extended it like the video looks pretty gnarly okay so yeah there was
one before that there was a couple sprained ankles but other than that those were mainly
beer related yeah and there wasn't a it wasn't an injury but everybody asked about the car well
the reason the car is not there anymore is somebody went through the windshield.
Oh.
Oh.
Okay.
So, Adam, just a little tip.
You got to lead with that next time.
The twisted knee, that doesn't say it.
You got to be like, guy went through a car.
He wasn't hurt, though.
I don't know how he wasn't hurt.
He didn't even cut himself, but his rear end went right through the windshield, and he was fine.
I don't know how that happened, but we got really lucky.
All right. rear end went right through the windshield and he was fine i don't know how that happened but we got really lucky all right so uh can you adam can you tell us like what the backstory of roofball and and how you found it it's it's a hilarious story and uh the the videos are so so good so
just give us a quick like you know how this all come about well so i got the ball right here we
were in england when i was in eighth grade and i wanted a rugby ball brought this back had nothing to do with it and so i just started
throwing it up at that pole at the natural gas vent on my mom's roof and i wasn't trying to hit
it i was just trying to get it to roll up and gently around it well put the ball away basketball
hoop got reinstalled we'd taken it down for doing some re-shingling and got forgot about it for
basically nine years and then some of my sister's friends were over her boyfriend's friends and they discovered the rugby ball said what's that for
we pulled it out started throwing it up there but there's only one rugby ball so they started
grabbing all the footballs and you know we're guys in our 20s at that point 10 minutes later
there's a scoring system and it's basically the scoring system that's going on today
played our first tournament on january 2nd of. I've been playing at least twice a year since then.
Unbelievable. So wait, now did your
sister end up marrying that guy?
No. There's some argument that
she should have, but no, she did not.
But does he still
compete? No.
He only played in the first two tournaments. He disappeared
after that. She kind of broke his heart.
Okay.
That's a sad story.
That would be a total cuck
move by him if he kept on showing up to roof ball i'd be legendary that's what you could have had
our our early goat the guy we call babe roof who won a lot of the early tournaments he actually
they actually broke up and he did keep playing but he came like he his first anniversary with
his wife was at roof ball so he made he made it good after a while that's hilarious babe roof is a great yeah all right so um since 1999 that's awesome now has did your mom still
live in that house or do you live in that house like is the official house still intact official
house is still intact it's still the same pole it's dented like crazy but it's still up there
uh she's lived there since 81 she's still there she lives it's dented like crazy but it's still up there uh she's lived
there since 81 she's still there she lives there with my stepdad and no no signs of heading out
and we're obviously terrified that one day she'll want to sell the place and i'll either have to
move in or make a deal with the people who buy it i'm not sure what we're gonna do because you
can't lose a royal and ancient homer roofball yeah oh it sounds sounds like if a wealthy person
bought the house they would own roofball they would own the house, they would own Roofball.
They would own the whole league.
They would own a lot of it.
Where can we find a wealthy person?
That's interesting.
Willis Park presented by Barstool.
I see where this is going.
Okay, well, it's a good thing that you sanctioned the game tomorrow
because that could have been dicey for you.
Yeah, buy the whole thing out from under them?
Hey, it's beyond that.
I made a logo
guys i got i got the garden state roof ball association logo ready to go let's go no way
that's awesome you see it yeah if i can share my screen yeah we can see it how many venues has
roof ball been played at uh yours will be the fourth okay where are the other any other states
no you will be there are actually two more states coming online later this year, but you will be the first one.
Wow.
Damn.
It's an honor.
Don't let me share my screen.
It hosts disabled.
That's okay.
So we'll see it tomorrow because you're coming out and you're calling the game.
So the winner tomorrow, are they in roof ball history?
Absolutely.
And they will officially qualify for the U.S. Open in September.
So they've got to come out here. U.S. Open in September. Oh!
Wait, wait.
Let's go!
What is the format here? Pool system, round robin, bracket? What are we doing?
It's pools, right?
Yeah, you guys are doing pools.
You guys are doing it very close to the way that we do it on a normal basis. So you guys are doing three players a game, and then the winners advance,
and then a certain number of wild cards after that.
Usually we whittle it down until there's two players playing head-to-head in the final i think you guys are
just going for obviously you got to get it in two hours so you don't want to go too crazy but
you guys are close okay so yeah because we thought the wild card like we we didn't want to have it
be someone really be really good and finish second in their pool and then the other pool sucks so we
thought the wild card would be a good wrinkle. Yeah, absolutely.
Usually we take half of whatever that round is,
and we get it to three rounds of three.
So normally if we started with nine, we'd go nine to six to three to two.
But, again, that would take a while.
We could do that.
Yeah.
We could go nine, six, three to two.
Well, guys, here's the big question.
Do you have room for a tenth player?
Yes.
I think it would be value for you guys to just kick my ass
and say we beat up on the guy who invented the game.
Okay, so you're in.
I won't trust you one bit.
For a second.
You're in.
Hey, Derek's been beating my ass for 15 years.
That's Derek, the 13-time champ.
You're in, so should we just scrap the pools and just –
it's 10 players and we get to six?
I would do that.
Yeah, we could do that.
And then what we do, I'll bring out – we got these little tiles that we draw out of.
We'll just do it randomly because when you got a couple wild cards,
it doesn't really matter who's in your heat.
Right.
So that situation, we probably do like two games of three and one game of four
or two threes and two twos.
We'll figure it out.
And if anyone else wants to play,
if you can get another couple of players.
Oh, okay.
Michelangelo.
I don't know how Michelangelo's arm is,
but I'll bet he'd give it a shot.
Okay, so he actually did play college football, no big deal.
Oh, that's scary.
Well, JV at Cornell.
If JV lower than JV.
That'd be one of the best credentials
for a roofball player of all time already.
We had one guy who was a backup quarterback in high school out here,
and he was dominant for a couple years.
So this is actually great.
So it will be ten of us.
And, yeah, so we'll keep the pool system in terms of, like, when people play,
but it's just top six scores go to the next round.
The game winners and then the wild cards.
I love it.
You always want something to matter in terms of winning a game.
Now, it's supposed to rain on and off tomorrow.
How do games go in the rain?
You know, it is crazy because we've had so many tournaments in the rainy season in Oregon,
whereas you very likely know it rains a ton.
We've gotten unbelievably lucky.
It's rained basically one time in roofball history.
So, yeah, I mean, in theory, you play on.
It's an all-weather sport.
So, with any luck, it'll be, you know, you play on. It's an all-weather sport. With any luck,
off and on won't be too bad.
You just got to account for
the raindrops hitting the ball and try
not to fall down when you try to make the catch.
I love that. Derek, did you win in that rain game?
Yes, I did.
I saw you fucking say that when I brought up
rain.
I was going to say, people have been saying
a lot of talk that Derek can't win in all elements, but clearly that's not true.
Does that skill set translate to anything else, Derek?
Activity, sports?
What else are you good at?
No, I'm a slow-pitch softball kind of guy.
And I try to golf.
But I am the pitcher, if that means anything to you.
What I will say, if it does rain, you want your own towel.
Don't let anybody else have your towel.
You want your own towel, and you keep that ball dry.
Ooh, okay.
So we could, yeah, we should, maybe we'll add,
let's see if Donnie or, I don't know who else is around
that could compete, maybe Rico?
We're really diluting our own chances of winning this thing.
That's true.
I don't know, but I want a fair game.
I would love Rico.
Yeah, 12 sounds like the right number.
Rico's got a hell of an arm on him.
Alright, so we'll try to get 12.
Jeff's bidding for PFT.
He's in Chicago.
And he literally hasn't been home for like
14 days. Yeah, let's get him home rico we need rico
rico yeah rico okay we got we got a guy who if he loses he might try to kill someone
um that's derrick oh derrick are you oh you can't handle an l no his wife will come up to us during
tournaments if he's if he's not doing great.
She's like, it's going to be a long week.
Oh, shit, Derek.
So real, man.
So do people, what's your worst loss?
What's the one that sticks with you?
Like, man, I wish I had that one.
Well, I guess my most recent loss, Adam, I needed, we were in the final six of the semifinals.
Adam set a wild card score of 16 which is a terrible
terrible horrendously bad okay um and so one so there was just i was in the next game the last
game to move on so either i needed to win or finish second and score 17 or more points which
is you can do that in three throws not a big deal his career average is 41 right uh so i finished with a five a five
you choked doesn't say it's worse because he only he needed a ping and a catch on the last
throw to tie me and he threw it over oh no dude so that's the one that it's pretty raw right now
oh i could tell you don't you're not you're laughing through some tears
right now who's your biggest thing the other thing right there if i would have won that tournament
i would have held all the titles at one time and that's never been done
that was kind of a bummer god damn it damn you would have unified the belt
that's right yeah derrick that is a good question what Who do you say? Who's your biggest rival?
Currently, I would say probably Christian.
Are there any young studs coming up?
Well, comparatively, he is the young one.
I think he just turned 30. He's 29.
We had a dude from Seattle who came down for the world championships who is, I think, probably 23.
And he took second.
He was a phenomenal beginner he
lost to derrick in the championship but he was quite good yeah you should you should age limit
roof ball going forward because you don't know you can't be too young you can't be too young
pickleball should have done that now it's too late it's too late you don't want to be pickleball
don't be picked we're ready to start the senior tour i'm two years away from 50 at that point i'm
gonna start my own events so I can just start dominating.
Okay.
I like it.
All right.
Well, we're very excited.
This is going to be awesome.
Yeah, I'm pumped.
It's going to be a ton of fun.
So, Derek, thank you for joining us.
And Adam, we'll see you tomorrow.
Yes, sir.
Getting pumped up for my red eye tonight.
And I'll see you guys tomorrow afternoon.
All right.
Awesome.
All right.
See you guys.
Thanks.
I am so excited. We just introduced a guys. Thanks. Good luck, everybody.
I am so excited.
We just introduced a ringer to this whole thing.
Dude, we got Adam in the mix.
He's not playing.
That was insane that we just let that slide.
He's definitely has such an advantage.
Yeah, he does.
I'm heading over tonight to get some warm-ups.
I don't want to.
Yeah, I do.
Yeah.
I'm so excited.
The fact that it's actually sanctioned, you get an invite
to the U.S. Open, it changes everything.
That's another whole piece. That's a whole other
episode of the act.
We have to all go to the U.S. Open.
What if someone just wound up
being like the GOAT? What if Nick was
the greatest roofball player of all time?
You're thinking of yourself.
He's so 100%
cool.
That was the most obvious question. That is fine dude. Which is it. No, that's fine. That's fine.
That was the most obvious question.
That is fine because part of me deep down is like, I'm going to win, but I know I'm not going to win.
But for some reason, I'm convinced.
Nothing would change.
What if I just made history?
See, I think I'm going to be very good and I'm going to choke.
A part of me for some reason thinks I'm just going to be able to hit the ping every single time.
I wouldn't be able to, yeah.
Yeah, but I'm not.
None of us will.
TJ, can you play?
I have to ref and do other stuff.
I don't know.
I don't think Rico's here tomorrow.
We've got to pick people that we can beat.
Chad was asking for Max.
Oh, I could ask Max.
He, I think, also is not here.
I feel like Max would be good, though.
Well, no, He takes L's
Like
Yeah
He takes second places
Yeah
Who else
Who else
What is
Lenny
Lenny would be good
Should we ask Lenny
Tommy
Oh here comes the tech guys
They're gonna
Tommy
Tommy
Let's get Tommy in here
Go ask Tommy
Latman
Oh no
His ass would go through
A fucking Mack truck.
Yeah.
Imagine his ass through a windshield.
Yeah.
His ass would flatten.
His ass would be like the pressure in the submarine.
Oh, God.
He'd just make a pancake out of that car.
Oh, my God.
Lead ass.
Like Gravedigger.
It's like instead of the junkyard, they just have Blattman sitting on cars.
He's up on a chain and they just lower him.
He's a fucking wrecking ball.
Put him on a string and his ass goes through buildings.
He's got to monetize.
I don't know what he can do with that.
He's got to do OnlyFans.
It's not like a sexual ass. No, it's not a sexual ass. It's just pl monetize that. I don't know what he can do with that. He's got to do OnlyFans. He's got to.
It's not like a sexual ass.
No, it's not a sexual ass.
It's just plump.
Yeah.
It's more of a stunning ass.
It's stunning.
It's breathtaking.
He's going to be so pissed.
It's not an ass you want to fuck.
It's an ass you want to look at.
Don't speak for me.
Ever.
Here he comes.
Imagine him in some yoga pants.
No, it would have been great in this fucking game.
Yeah.
Maybe just this once.
He would have been
so great in this
game.
Crossover brick
watch event.
T.
Consider T.
I mean, you know,
T's got those
dodging movements.
He's got the quick
hands, quick on the feet, light on the feet.
Light feet like an offensive lineman.
Exactly.
I want somebody that can experience fun and joy, though.
Yeah, that's true.
Tommy would be a good—
He's a big one.
Tommy would be a good—
I just tried to call Tommy.
Couldn't even get through to him.
Wow.
He's just—
Fucking slam.
Hey, can Frank play?
He's on a road trip.
He's not back right now?
No, he's—
He said he's going to be out for a couple days.
Rudy and Caroline. When is he back? No, Rudy would be too good. Rudy would be too good. Yeah, we can't have Rudy. He's on a road trip. He's not back right now? No, he's... He said he's going to be out for a couple days. Rudy and Caroline.
When is he back?
No, Rudy would be too good.
Rudy would be too good.
Yeah, we can't have Rudy.
He's not welcome.
This is going to be fun.
I'll bring my rash.
I don't know if I...
I don't know if I'm going to go straight there.
I'm going to Wallow's birthday in Philly tonight.
What?
You're fucked for tomorrow.
See if he'll come.
Low?
See if Low will come?
There's no way we're getting low up to North Jersey.
I can't imagine what that party will entail.
Why?
What do you think it's going to be?
It's going to be crazy.
What do you mean?
I don't think it's going to be crazy.
You think he's going to have a low-key sesh?
I mean, I know it's not going to be a low-key sesh.
I think Gilly's throwing it for him.
Oh, my God.
I think it's going to be a lot of preaching.
Yeah.
Like the Rock Nation, bro.
Like how old is he?
What's he turning?
It feels like it's like a big one.
Tommy, can you come in the yak?
Or are you doing worst take?
Yeah, for five minutes.
What are you guys talking about on there?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, okay, okay.
He's going to roll his eyes after you called him.
Oh, he's pissed you called him.
We invented a sport yesterday.
I know, that was super fun. It was a blast. Actually, Tommy. We invented a sport yesterday. I know.
That was super fun.
It was a blast.
Actually, Tommy won like 180 points off of it.
Yeah.
What?
It was Nicky's Blue Note Challenge.
It was my Blue Note Challenge.
God.
You have to stand by my desk.
Three ping pong balls.
And you can only throw three.
That's the max.
And it has to stay on the shelf across the room.
The shelf's behind the rundown set.
It's a point to ball.
All right, max is in.
Great.
So max and Tommy is 12.
Awesome.
Perfect.
We just need to have it solidified by four
so we can figure out graphics.
Okay, so just solidified.
Having a conniption.
We don't have enough mics for 12 players. Well, they don't have to be. We don't have enough mics for
12 players. Well, they don't have to be...
We don't have to have every player on a mic.
I'm working on getting more mics.
I would honestly prefer to not be mic'd up.
Yeah, right, Sass. You're not fucking robbing
us of that sweet mic'd up footage.
I don't want to have to
have a lav on.
We could easily set it up that the team
that's on the on-deck circle is not mic'd.
Switching mics is going to be an issue, though, because it's going to be raining, and the mics are going to be in bags.
It's going to rain tomorrow, by the way.
Yeah, we're going to be in some conditions, boys.
It's going to be great.
It's going to be fucking war.
I'm loving it.
Are we allowed to bring gloves?
Can I wear receiver gloves?
I don't think so.
No, no.
That's not allowed?
No.
Says who? The fucking commission? I don't think so. No, no. That's not allowed? No. Says who?
The fucking commission.
They didn't say that.
I say no receiver gloves.
Because Stephen Chay's probably got...
Sass, you're going to go buy receiver gloves?
Yes.
No, you're not.
Stephen Chay has so many...
Where are you going to get them from?
Stephen, how many receiver gloves do you have?
I have some receiver gloves.
You have a lot.
Would you say you have a lot?
I have enough for me.
Okay, no.
You have one set of gloves?
You have two total gloves.
I think it's all natural.
I didn't even know it's a football.
Is it?
That's what they made it sound like.
Man, this would really suck if...
I thought it was like a round bouncy ball.
Will Anthony or Adam win this thing?
Yeah. If they go to the U. If Anthony or Adam win this thing? Yeah.
If they go to the U.S. Open, that's what I mean.
We just invited Adam to get a shot to get it like...
He's a World Series of Poker Pro,
and we're giving him a chance to go get a bracelet
against a bunch of novices.
You 12.
Make sure he doesn't hop on this flight
thinking he's going to play, because he's not.
He's a good player. I've seen footage of him
like yeah
if I could just
play with you guys
I did really
fuck that up
but he's
yeah
you guys have room
for one more
you guys can whoop up
on the old man
he's white man
yeah he can't jump
right into that
I think the thing is
they don't want
they don't want
they want the possibility
of us not
yeah
I think they're probably trying to have him win.
They're sending him out.
All right, let's figure out a 12th person that we can easily beat.
Ooh, Francis.
No, no, no.
He's not definitely not.
Definitely not.
It's hard to gauge.
How do you tell the best accuracy guy?
I can't suck a mask, Francis.
He would suck.
He would suck. He would suck.
Is that a hate crime?
Yeah.
What about pine tar?
Is that legal?
Stick them.
Oh, I got an idea.
Tim Hitchens.
Hmm?
Hmm?
Huh?
He said no?
No?
I didn't hear a no.
TJ, is your mic off?
If you must.
No, I'm not going to make you for your dad.
He's going to be pissed that you said no.
I didn't say no.
He didn't.
He said if you must.
If you must.
What if those guys can make it out of the submarine and come?
Yeah, that would be a good one.
Yeah.
That's a good idea.
How much would it suck to...
Well, it would be awesome to be alive.
And then they have to come to North Jersey.
But then to see Twitter and be like, what's everyone talking about?
Yeah.
The big thing about that is you probably get a lot of money, right?
Yeah, you definitely get a year or so.
They are already billionaires.
Yeah.
They're better off.
Dude, they're probably ripping into that CEO.
You fucking pussy.
God, you're so fucking stupid.
Why didn't you at least use a PS5 controller?
I mean, clear your schedule for tomorrow.
You're coming to North Jersey.
Okay.
At 30 in the morning.
Oh, man.
Okay, don't even. i am actually supposed to do
a shoot for stella blue though i have a shoot at four for stella blue okay i'll tell cory
we have something we have this yeah okay we'll be back in time we're gonna be back we can also
do it early i'm on to two but we'll get cory in here let's let's figure this out because i
yeah i he said that let's try to do it before the shoot before i go yeah wouldn't you be here for a stellar blue shoot yeah in the morning i'm
doing it yeah if i could do in the morning it'd be awesome yeah if i could do it in the morning
uh tommy you do know that there's a van going to north so we might need some music
i mean you didn't pitch a perfect game so i'd like to on the way try
what what was the fuck up in the perfect game?
I mean.
All I Want for Christmas in June.
Ooh.
Went from the Hampton.
Tommy.
That's actually.
It hit.
It fucking hit.
I take back what I said.
That was a fucking 500-foot home run off of you.
No, it hit.
It hit really hard in the moment.
Wait, so what exactly am I on a team or?
No, it's everyone for themselves.
Okay.
What's this guy looking at?
I don't know.
All handsome.
What's your problem, dude?
I like him.
Take a picture.
It'll last longer.
All handsome as hell.
None of us know how to play roofball,
so you're going to be on equal footing with everyone.
Sounds good.
And bring what you need for your hands.
Receiving gloves.
No receiving gloves.
Don't even try it.
Might rain.
Might rain.
I'm going to bring my own towel.
I think I might bring golf rain gloves.
I don't think so.
You get them wet and they activate.
Can you get Corey in here?
Smutledge?
We should just invite him to roofball.
What are we...
What about Greer?
Are we just adding one person per pod?
Or are we doing it a different way?
Adding one person per pod.
And then are we doing 12 to 6?
Yes, 12 to 6.
How God intended.
12 to 6 to 3 to 2?
It's 12 to 6 to 4 to 2.
12 to 6 to 4 to 2.
Yeah.
Okay.
Tommy, hop in my pod.
It's going to be longer then.
We'll be back by 6, right?
We'll be quick.
6, yes.
I got that amputee.
Depending on traffic. I got that amputee Depending on traffic
I got that amputee coming in
What? Oh really?
That's 6
I'm guessing it will take us
3 hours to complete
We just like doubled
The amount of games we're playing
Yeah but if we go quick
We're not going to go quick
We're not going to play
We've never
We've never gone
Well what if we go quick?
I don't think we're going to go quick
We don't typically do things quick
How long do games take? Well if Tech Guy Andrews run it There're going to go quick. We don't typically do things quick.
How long do games take?
Well, if Tech Guy Andrews run it, there's going to be like eight to ten malfunctions.
How many throws is it?
Ten.
You don't have to take that, Tech Guy Andrew.
Yeah, don't take that.
It's 30 throws a game times four, so 120 throws.
Do you throw all ten in a row?
No.
So someone goes and someone goes?
Yes.
Well, then that could probably be a way to fix the lag.
That's not Ruthful.
Fuck, you're right.
I think we should not try and rush it. I think six should be fine.
I definitely think six is fine.
Okay.
Depending on traffic.
Oh, man.
I'm going to take a fucking melatonin.
Money Man?
Be asleep by ten. I'm going to dead company tonight. Oh, really? Yeah. That'll be fun I'm going to take a fucking melatonin. That's money, man. Be asleep by 10.
I'm going to Denton Company tonight.
That's not money, man.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
That'll be fun.
Probably going to eat some mushrooms.
You going to do any ice cold fatties?
Probably.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They sell mushrooms right up the street here, and they're good.
Yeah, I know.
I've gotten them, and they're really good.
They sell ice cold fatties everywhere.
Every smoke shop in New York sells ice cold fatties.
I had no idea
Yeah
Is that true?
Yes
What do you ask for?
I don't
I mean I don't do whippets
But
Okay
They have like
What is an ice cold fatty?
Whippet
Oh
But they have
That's what the
Deadheads call them right?
Yeah
Mincy at least
Yeah
They have
They just call them like
Whipped cream
Cartridges or whatever and they
saw them at smoke shops mince he's grateful dead sober he just has just hard drugs only ice cold
yeah when we went he was he's like yeah i'm sober and then someone was like, anyone want shrooms? And he, like, jumped over. I'm not going to get them.
Corey.
Yes.
We got to figure out this schedule tomorrow.
We're doing planning on the yak.
Grab a mic.
Grab a mic.
Can these guys, Tommy and Nick, can they do their portion of the shoot before we leave for roof ball?
What time do you leave?
What time does the league?
10.45.
10.45.
Oh, that's early.
Oh, damn.
We've got a lot of pieces in play.
I mean, if we need to, we can try to.
What time are you back?
I'd say 5.
4?
5?
If I can do 5, can you do 5?
I can do 5 tomorrow.
Okay.
Let's do 5.
All right.
Depending on traffic. All right All right. Depending on traffic.
All right, cool.
Depending on traffic.
Oh, traffic getting bad.
Okay, but I'll be here at 930.
Yes.
Rutledge is going to chew me out behind closed doors now.
Thanks a lot.
Thank you guys for doing that shoot.
Yeah, of course.
I don't even know what it is.
Me either.
Me either.
I was told to dress like a juror.
I said, what does a juror dress like?
I was told no patterns on the shirts and no logos.
Jurors do not have patterns. I trust Corey so much that he sent me this long idea, like three paragraphs text.
I didn't read any of it.
I said, yeah, I'm down.
And now tomorrow's the day.
It's here.
So how exactly?
Could someone just give me a brief roof ball explanation?
No one knows.
None of us know.
We didn't even know what kind of ball you use.
I think you use a football.
You have to throw it at a target.
Do you have the rules?
Because maybe that would help expedite it tomorrow if we learned the rules.
We started learning them now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
While you find those, let me talk to you guys about this sweet movie that's coming out called God is a Bullet.
Yes.
We have an ad for a film, and it's called God is a Bullet.
When a police detective's daughter is kidnapped by a satanic cult, he quits the force and partners with the cult's only female escapee to hunt them down. Inspired by true events. Based on the novel by Boston Teran.
Starring Nicolaj Coster-Waldau,
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and Jamie Foxx.
God is a Bullet.
The late night movie of the summer.
An incredible cast.
Featuring Nicolaj Coster-Waldau.
Jamie Lannister.
From Game of Thrones.
Shock caller.
The last thing he told me.
Mackay Monroe and Jamie Foxx.
Damn.
Based on the best-selling novel by Boston Teran, inspired by true events.
Dip into the deadly world of a cult and its sociopathic, mesmerizing leader.
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a father doesn't stop to ask where the line is drawn acclaimed filmmaker nick cassavetes the
movie he has wanted to make for years so say your prayers exclusively inively in theaters Friday, June 26th
God is a bullet
That was a hell of a read, Ron
You like that?
I loved it
I wanted to do it in the one minute
Yeah, I was gonna say
In a world
One desire
For Jamie Foxx
It's gonna be good
Jamie Foxx is
God is a bullet
A bullet
How's Jamie Foxx doing?
Oh yeah, he like Yeah He like died for a second Is he doing good though? Is he back? God is a bullet. A bullet. How's Jamie Foxx doing? Oh, yeah.
He, like, died for a second.
Is he doing good, though?
Is he back?
They said he had, like, what?
He had a stroke or a blood clot in his brain?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Something from the vaccine.
Yeah, that's what they were saying.
Okay, here's the RFA Cup scoring system.
So we're throwing at a designated one of the chimneys on this guy's roof.
Do we have a picture?
Yeah.
If you hit the chimney, it's five points.
If the ball goes up and around the chimney and comes back down, it's ten points.
If you throw it over the roof, it's minus five points.
On any of those throws, if you catch the ball as it comes down the roof, it adds a point.
You catch your own ball?
Yeah.
A ping and a catch is six.
And a round and a catch is 11.
Nothing and a catch is one.
And then what's catch multiplier?
There's no catch multiplier.
We don't have the right roof for that.
What if we hit the pole and it goes around?
Is that possible to combine?
It would just be in a round.
And then a catch would be a catch 11.
Good to know.
I think all of our goals should be Che does not win.
Yeah, kind of like how we unified at the dozen for Brandon not to win.
Yeah, this also makes sense that you can't go with your 10 throws at once
because then the last person would know what they need.
Yeah.
I've never lost roof ball in the rain, for the record.
This is the house?
That's a high roof.
This is the best one we got.
Which one are we throwing it over?
Oh, man.
Okay, so around that's not crazy.
I think it's easier to go around than to go...
If you're trying to go around, you might go over.
Do you have the whole lawn to play with or just the driveway?
The whole lawn.
Is that tree a problem?
Boys, this isn't going to be easy.
For some.
We're supposed to hit the chimney?
Uh-huh.
Not the chimney, the...
Pole.
Pole.
They keep on calling it the pole.
The other guys are calling it the pole, too.
That's a good one.
Oh, there's a ledge.
That's a hell of a roof.
Oh, that ledge is going to be an issue.
Oh, man, this is going to be hard to catch these.
Depends where you throw from.
I'm so excited.
I feel like you almost have to throw from lawn and go towards driveway
because the driveway is a flatter catching surface.
Did you ask this guy to maybe put up a different pole farther in the middle?
Are any of us going to shit in this guy's house?
Yes, I have to.
I have to.
He should probably make some food for us.
Probably.
I'll buy some too.
Pierogies?
Pierogies would be great.
Oh, yum.
Yeah, I wonder what his background is.
Hot dogs.
If he's Polish, we need pierogies.
And some kielbasa. Maybe a klobosnik. His background is ethnic. Hot dogs. If he's Polish, we need pierogies.
And some kielbasa.
Maybe a klobosnik.
Some Polish sausage.
Where the hell is Brandon at?
I thought he was supposed to be back today.
Not small.
Well, not small.
Been dicking around.
So we have 11.
We need our 12th.
We have the guy.
We're not letting the guy play.
I think we let him play He's gonna lose
Who the hell is Anthony?
If he wins
It's Anthony's house
Oh
You know what we should say
Is we should
We should make him agree
That if he wins
Second place gets an invite
To the US Open
Then I would let him play
Yeah
Alright so that's what we'll do
If he wins roof ball
Second place
One of us has to get
One of us has to get invited.
And he's not eligible for the prize money.
Yes, and if Anthony finishes second, third place gets an invite to the U.S. Open.
I mean, I think he would let all of us go to the U.S. Open.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, we've taken a red-eye to be here.
Yes, we got to let him play.
Yeah.
Oh, he's going to be so sleepy.
You think it's his first red-eye before a big game?
No, he's taking a nap at the TSA Hotel at the airport.
Is he sad?
Yeah.
Legend.
This guy knows what he's doing.
We should serve him something really hearty that tires him out, though.
Or drug him.
Yeah, a traditional New Jersey breakfast of roofies and pork roll.
All right, so spin the three teams, and we'll add the players to them.
We got Tommy on ours.
We'll put Tommy on ours.
Ours?
Yeah, yeah.
I think that's fair.
I think we'll spin it.
Because you want to be against me, right?
Yeah.
I mean, if yesterday is any indication, you don't want to be against me.
I know.
You were sick at that game.
I would have won if it was.
Who's the other captain?
Sass.
I have the list.
So what we should do is we'll
spin the wheel with me Sass and
Roan.
If it hits you you get to
decide you can either pick
order or a person to add.
Wasn't he saying that they're
all pods of three or
four.
Oh no.
Are we still looking for our
last member or no.
No.
I wanted any excuse to spin
that giant wheel of every
employee. Yes. But it would be four pods of three. No. I wanted any excuse to spin that giant wheel of every employee.
All right, yeah, spin it.
That'd be four pods of three, no?
Yeah.
Or doing four pods of three.
Yes.
That's what I think.
Okay.
So the winner makes it out.
Then those three guys are all in their new pod.
No, it'd be three pods of four because six people move on.
So then it's the top two from every pod.
Or from each.
No, there's wild cards.
Four pods.
Each winner. That's four winners plus the next four best wild pod. Four from each. No, there's wild cards. Four pods, each winner.
That's four winners plus the next four best wild cards.
That's eight.
Next two, next two, yeah.
Four pods, one winner each.
That's four people
plus two wild cards.
That's six people.
So Max, Tommy,
and the best guy in the world
are in the pod.
That seems fair.
Okay, perfect.
All right, so spin it
to see who goes first
I don't want to go first
No they'll go first
Yes
Cause that guy knows
He'll have to show us
And we'll spin it to see who goes second
Third and fourth
Cause obviously you'd want to go fourth
Because
Cause then you know
What a wild card spot would be
Okay We will go fourth
Bastard
You goddamn bastard
So could two wild cards come from the same pod?
Yeah
Yeah, highest scores, I suppose
Am I picking what we want to go?
We'll go second or third. Or do I get to pick my
other person?
This is where him not wearing the
headphones hurts. I just took them off.
Oh, yeah, so second or third?
Third. Yeah, third.
Alright, so Rone's going second. Rone's pod's going second.
Let's go, Nick. We're going to do four
pods of three. Four
winners, and then two wild cards.
Got it.
Roger.
Copy.
Maybe lowest score overall.
I wish it was a team thing.
Chubbs in the pool or something.
Anyone else?
There's a pool?
Yeah.
Some sort of punishment?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Lowest score overall has to get lunch
yep has to make lunch oh oh score overall has to no lowest score has to stay the night there
yeah yeah stay the night or you got the walk home yep one or the other no you know what i'll do is
i'll uh i'll try to i'll try to get like a little grill.
Oh, that'll be fun.
Lowest score overall has to grill.
In the rain?
Yeah.
And then go to bed there for the night.
Yeah, well, I'm going to drive, so on my way there,
I'll try to buy like a little charcoal grill.
A little George Foreman?
TJ, maybe ask him if he has a grill.
He probably has one.
If he has a grill, then we'll just do that.
If they got a roof, they got a grill.
He's watching.
Oh, he is?
All right.
I'll bring burgers, sausages, everything.
Lowest score overall has to grill.
Lunch for everyone.
Tommy, do you know how to cook an impossible burger and chicken?
Because I want to make sure that we have some light meat and low-cal options.
Are you assuming I'm going to come in last?
I mean, it doesn't help that I'm going against the greatest player in the world.
But I guess not the greatest player in the world.
He's the founder, not the greatest player.
He has a girl on his deck.
Gotcha.
Perfect.
Oh, yeah, he's just the founder.
I thought you just said he's the number one player in the world.
You're mistaking him with Derek.
Yeah, Derek's the one who's pot I'm in.
No, you're with Adam. You're an Adam fan. Tommy. Derek's the one who's pot I'm in. No, you're with Adam.
You're an Adam.
Adam's pot.
Tommy.
Jesus fucking Christ.
This is so embarrassing for you.
How do you not know your roof balls?
Your homework.
And you have to, when you're grilling, you have to do it like...
Why are you reassuming that I'm grilling?
You have to wear the dirty dancing or the risky business outfit.
I like grilling, so that's okay.
A button-down shirt and tighty-whities.
Can someone explain, what does it mean going around the pole?
That.
Past it and back.
It's kind of like a trick shot.
Like a parabola.
How the fuck is that possible?
Throw it around it.
It's a slanted roof, so pull it up and down.
So they're throwing at the pole, right?
If it goes up one side and comes down in that little gap, that's 10.
And then if you catch it, it's 11.
Let me watch this.
They're throwing at the pool.
Oh, that pool's harder than the one we have.
Oh, that's a round, though.
That wasn't a round.
It's harder.
It's easier to hit.
There is a wall for them to hit off of.
Right, yeah.
Nobody had it.
For everyone complaining, first of all, shut up.
Second of all.
Wait, people are complaining?
We got sent, like, probably 80 roofs, and this is by far the best one.
What are they complaining about?
Too high, bad roof, L roof.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Those guys just sit there.
We asked you for the roofs.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Look at this.
Founder can't win 0-16.
Oh, so he's not good.
Oh, nice.
He's probably trying to get it dubbed on like an idiot.
I wish it was going to be nice out.
The only thing that would make the roof better is if the owner, what's his name?
Anthony?
Wow.
Look at that throw.
Plus the catch, 11.
Oh, wow.
It's his house, Anthony's house?
Yeah.
Oh, he obviously practices every day of his life.
Look at this at a fast pace, though.
That's an overmatch.
That was a terrible throw.
Let me see a picture of that house we're playing on again tomorrow.
Yeah, if Anthony wants to just get on his roof and maybe put a pole right in the middle,
I wouldn't hate it.
Or just lower his house a little bit.
Just duct tape a wiffle ball bat or something.
Like a little gutter.
You don't even have to.
It doesn't have to be as high as a wiffle ball bat.
Something.
See, the problem is he will do this. Yeah, maybe a wiffle ball bat. Something. See the problem is
he will do this.
Yeah.
Maybe a Pringles can.
Slip off of the roof
in the rain.
So one last person.
Sayles sent me
what they're bringing
and there was like
something that they
I don't know.
I can talk to them
and see if they're planning.
So one of us
is going to have to
climb on this roof.
Not me.
Get on a roof.
Get on the roof.
I'm scared of a roof.
You got a ladder?
Damn.
I'll get on the roof, too.
What's the group order again?
It is Anthony, Adam.
No.
Adam, Tommy, Max.
Adam, Tommy, Max going first.
Roan, Nick.
Homeowner.
Anthony going second.
Sask, KB.
Clemmer.
Clemmer going third.
Me, Jerry, and Che. Going going third Me, Jerry, and Che
Going fourth
You, Jerry, and Che is going to be a
It's a group of death
People are saying it's a group of death
That's not a great group
And I did it myself
Yeah
Those are some good competitors
Tommy is
What is your method though?
Do you
Like how long do you put the cheese on?
You gotta toast a bun a little bit first.
Yeah, I will toast the bun.
You're going to butter the bun?
You're going to use grilled onions?
Should I bring it on you? Yeah, bring some grilled onions.
I hope he has mania.
I'll bring grilled onions.
I hope he has mania.
I brought grilled onions.
Guys, you've got your grilled onions here.
I might not be that.
I still don't really understand the around thing.
Okay, write up some odds for us, brother.
Who do you have?
You could even go off the top.
Obviously, you're 2-1.
What?
No, in a field of 12.
I mean, if this – so the founder is playing, right?
Yes.
I mean, I'd probably put him at, like, plus 150.
I would put Big Cat at – I mean, there's going to be a huge gap between the founder and everyone else.
So Big Cat I would think is the favorite.
Why?
Plus 450.
Why is Big Cat the favorite?
Why am I the favorite?
I already told you what's going to happen for me.
I'm going to be pretty good.
I'm going to get to the six or the four and then i'm gonna absolutely
choke and i'll throw one over the roof i'll just choke because i'll try to put touch on it and
it's gonna be a problem i feel like you'll be good i'll put myself at plus 500 i'll put
uh i'll put kb at also plus 500. I'll go Roan at plus 600.
I'll go Max plus 750.
Okay.
I don't know about Sass.
I'll put Sass at plus 750 as well.
Okay, and then you got Jerry, Clemmer, and Nick.
Yeah, this is absurd.
And the homeowner.
Oh, yeah.
The homeowner is probably the second favorite because he can practice all he wants.
It's true.
So I'll put him at plus 400.
I'll put Nick at plus 900.
This is one of those things that's...
This is nutty, Che.
Were you plus 150?
No, 250?
No, no, no. No, like 450. Who was plus 150? The founder.ty, Jay. Were you plus one? It's bad for the 50. Oh, 250? No, no, no.
No, like 450.
450.
Who was plus 150?
The founder.
Oh, okay.
It's one of those segments that it's equally as bad for the YouTube and the podcast.
No one does.
You guys asked me to do this.
Yeah, you managed to do it.
It doesn't matter what medium you're watching.
It can't be consumed in any way.
I was trying to feel something when he was saying that.
We'll finish it.
You got to finish it.
Tommy plus 1,500.
Clemmer plus 3,000.
Whoa.
Unreal.
That's good value.
I don't think it is.
Wow.
Jerry?
I'll take that.
Jerry plus 675.
Ooh.
What are you basing this off of?
General eye testing.
Eye test?
He's a scout.
Ocular scan.
I also think I'm even money to get hurt.
Sign me up for a sprained knee.
There's an uneven concrete slab.
Oh, I know.
Start to the steps.
I wear ankle braces.
I can't see from that.
I'm not going to be able to see.
Some people are going to.
We're just going to show up and have the worst game of roof ball ever.
It's going to wind up on that deck.
The deck juts out.
But you don't really have to catch it.
It's only one point.
So catching is not.
I thought you have to catch it for it to be complete.
No.
How many throws are there?
Catching adds one point to every complete. How many throws are there?
Catching adds one point to every throw.
How many throws do you get?
Ten.
So the catch is not that important.
Is it cumulative score?
So score all the rounds add up like golf?
Or is it fresh start each round?
If so, if the founder has a bad round, he could be toast.
He could be toast. He could be toast.
He could be toast. Very true.
Honestly, same with you, bro.
Yeah.
Wait, why?
Why the founder, specifically?
He just could be toast.
Same with you, Sass, honestly.
If you have a bad round, you could be toast.
I'll say it right now.
If I have a bad round, I think I'm toast.
But it sounds like if you have a bad round,
you're not toast at all because it resets.
Oh, brother, you don't understand.
Toast.
If you have a bad round, you could be toast. all because it resets. Oh, brother, you don't understand. Toast. If you have a bad round, you could be toast.
All right.
Oh, you'll be toast in the round.
Okay, I wasn't getting it at first, and now I'm getting it.
Yeah.
Tommy, the burger should be on Texas toast.
Now, is it lowest score in a single round?
Oh, it's highest.
Do you want highest?
No, I know.
Lowest score in the first round.
Last place in the first round.
Lowest score in the last place in the first round.
Out of 12 people.
Cooks the burger.
And if there's a tie, you have a throw-off for the lowest score.
I think I'm going to be better than you.
And the throw-off is both of you standing in the driveway,
first one to hit the other person is nuts.
I think.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
With an anvil.
We're throwing a football?
With Blattman's ass.
It's a football.
You have to throw his ass at someone's nuts.
I don't throw a football as well. Perfectly placed Blattman's ass it's football you have to throw his ass at someone's nuts perfectly placed platman's ass right at your nuts see i think the thing is that che is going in
he knows he thinks he thinks he's winning easily oh and i think that he's gonna get two in his head
because he's gonna be going for wraparounds not gonna be able to get him and then he's gonna
fuck up he asked it does if we wonder if any of us might be the goat. Then he looked at me and said, maybe Nick, and then he gave me plus 900.
It's possible.
I mean, if Anthony, the homeowner, wins
and wins the US Open,
they might make a movie about this guy.
You mean we might make a movie?
Yes.
Yeah, that's crazy.
That would be an unbelievable story.
What did you just say?
Do you think the US Open is like a real U.S. Open?
The producers that brought you God is a bullet.
Anthony was a simple man living in New Jersey.
His whole life was about to change.
Starring Jamie Foxx.
That's Anthony.
On a trip to Oregon that he has to pay for himself.
Anthony, give up that sport.
It's not going to lead anywhere.
Turn off that radio show.
They'll never come to this house and play a game with you.
It's the mom waking up at 3 a.m.
Hanging on the house.
Hanging on the roof.
No, Anthony, I told you.
There was a damn submarine outside.
Go get a real job. Be a lawyer or a doctor. No, Anthony, I told you. I thought there was a damn submarine outside. Go get a real job.
Be a lawyer or a doctor.
No, Mom.
I'm going to make it to Oregon.
U.S. Open.
I'm going to take down Derek, 13-time champion.
You'll be able to retire, Mama.
Then the mom finally is like, you know what?
I believe in you, son.
And it's a montage of him training.
She's got a hose, spraying him down, training him in all weather.
You got to be ready to beat him in every aspect.
We can't.
So he's had all weather.
What about thunder and lightning?
All weather.
Yes.
That actually, yeah.
Then we have to play with holding extra large umbrellas.
Okay.
Metal.
Metal bridge.
Yeah.
I could do that.
If you get hit by lightning, you automatically go to the finals.
That's a rule.
Or US Open, honestly.
No, you still got to win the finals. Yeah, don't be silly.
Come on.
We're not doing charity here, bro.
I'm getting scorched from this earth.
I've already been struck, so I might be more.
You've been struck by lightning?
On that plane to Texas.
Oh, yeah.
Does it work like chicken pox?
Yeah, you're more likely to get it again.
That's why my mom put me in a bath with a bunch of other kids who were struck by lightning.
Now, they do link up.
Yeah.
Yeah, like they chill.
Like they know each other.
They 100% do.
They were pissed about the fake lightning ad that Drew Brees did.
Which is bullshit because he's stealing valor from our community.
We do link up.
I think we might be okay with the weather tomorrow.
It says it's going to rain in the morning.
Yeah, their setup is going to be an issue.
Well, guess what?
What time do we have to get there?
Good thing about the setup.
You have to get here before 1045.
We're leaving here at 1045.
Good thing about the setup, TJ, is none of us in this room have to worry about it.
Also, it's like a slick lawn.
Andrew, the back.
That's the beauty of the setup.
TJ, it's only 12 guys running around in the wet rain.
And a random person's house.
It's just got to be loud.
Let's hire a freelance audio guy.
We need two.
Oh, yeah.
We already have an audio guy.
No, but I want the audio guy.
Oh, audio guy 182.
Who's the audio guy?
Rob.
Who's coming?
Rob.
Oh.
So we're going 12 to6-4-2?
Yeah, that's what he said was the official.
I don't get how we get from 6-4.
Yeah, wouldn't it be 6-3?
Why don't we just do 6-3 and 3 is the final?
I thought it was 12-6-3-2.
Yeah, let's just do 12-6-3 to winner.
I like that. 3 is the finals.
Yeah.
He said he liked it head-to-head, but I don't know. That's fine. Let's cut. Yeah, because that. Three is the finals. Yeah. He said he liked it head to head,
but I don't.
That's fine.
Let's cut,
yeah,
because that way
we're cutting out
some time.
12 to six
to three person final.
Three person final.
I like that.
I'm locking it in.
You guys like
macaroni salad?
Love.
I like potato salad
more.
Don't put raisins
in it or any of that shit.
Yeah,
that shit sucks.
Yeah,
no.
Classic.
Macaroni and mayonnaise. Make something spicy too. Yeah. All right. Raisins in it. I love potatoes. That shit sucks. Yeah, no. Classic. Macaroni and mayonnaise.
Make something spicy, too.
Yeah.
All right.
Maybe some jerk chicken.
A little jerk chicken.
Maybe some kebabs.
Bacon store.
Yeah, kebabs.
You going to do some sous chefing tonight?
Some prep?
I mean, there's no guarantee that I'll lose.
Tommy takes prep every night.
Smash burgers would be awesome.
Oh, yeah.
I could do that.
I could do that. A little grilled onions right in the center. Yeah. Yeah. Let's hope'll lose. Tommy takes prep every night. Smash burgers would be awesome. Oh, yeah. I could do that.
I could do that.
Little grilled onions right in the center.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's hope I lose.
Throw on my playlist.
Oh, no.
Just start grilling.
Raya Carey's going to come on
and the grill playlist
will be totally different.
Are you guys all taking the van?
Yeah.
I'm driving.
I can drive one other person.
That would be helpful if somebody else can go with.
Bring in the two-seater.
Oh, there's car seats in my car.
A lot of them.
It would be helpful if somebody went with Big Cat.
Because we're at max capacity in this van right now.
What about the train?
I might take the train.
I think I might be driving up.
If I stay over after Wallow's party, if it's as crazy as KB's saying it's going to be,
I might be driving straight from Philly right there.
Also, Che's going to meet us there.
Jerry's going to meet us there.
I know, but it's a 13-seat van, and we just added three or two extra people to it.
So would it be helpful if I got myself there on my own?
It would.
Say less.
I could take Max, too.
Okay.
I can also take the train if need be. Now we got you, brother. Okay. I can also take the train if need be.
Now we got you, brother.
Train?
We all got to be there on time, too, because this is going to be right when we start.
What school district is this?
This is the most ambitious thing I think we've ever done.
Yeah, there's like 30 people going, I think.
Yeah, I'm sure this will go well.
And guess what?
The good part is, if there are mistakes, our fans don't complain.
Oh, no, no.
What if Anthony didn't tell his wife?
30 dudes.
Hey, by the guys coming over.
What if it's one of those situations where you pull up to one of your friend's houses and he's not there?
What?
Yeah.
What situation is that?
You got to wait for him to come home.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
This is pretty cool for Anthony.
Yeah.
He's just going to his house tomorrow?
Manchester Regional.
Fucking Bruce Baumgartner.
Let's go.
Not bad, not bad.
Pull him up.
Those stats.
All right.
Steve, would you do a passing kick competition i wouldn't be good at it
if there was one there is one for adults two of the things are leg things
you think you need like a strong leg like you've been squatting and
doing calf raises or is it more like hip mobility i I probably wouldn't be great at either. I did just finish my third day of my calisthenics Instagram ad workout program though.
So on the way to flexibility soon.
What have you been hitting with that?
It's like 15 minute workouts where you do like old people stretches.
Hey bro, whatever you need to do to reclaim that body of yours.
Yeah.
I fucking respect it.
What the hell are you laughing at, Tommy?
That?
What you said? I fucking respect it.
Reclaim your body. Just everyone was laughing at it.
And chuckled too.
I thought you had something going on on your phone.
Yeah.
I was hoping to be part of it.
What's going on with that tungsten meetup tonight?
Going to Clemmer's.
Going to Clemmer's.
Roosevelt Island.
You're going to take a tram?
He refused to cook for us.
So his wife's ordering pizzas.
What the hell?
His grill's in his courtyard.
Yeah.
Wait, so how do cars work on Roosevelt Island?
You can drive onto there?
Or you have to take a ferry?
We're taking the tram, I think.
Or the ferry.
Or tram.
The air.
I took the tram this past weekend.
It was fucking beautiful.
I think we're doing that.
Is his wife allowed to attend the meeting?
Unless she gets a tungsten card by 6 p.m.
No.
Which is impossible.
How many people are going?
13.
Jesus.
You drinking?
What are you guys talking about?
Mostly tungsten.
It's almost all tungsten.
Are you part of this?
Yeah.
Oh, nice. You want in? Kind of. I can nominate your name. We's almost all tungsten. Are you part of this? Yeah. Oh, nice.
You want in?
Kind of.
I can nominate your name.
We could have a vote tonight.
Yeah, please vote.
The meetings are monthly, and we do votes on who gets in.
Let's see the full.
Who's in this full?
Who else is in it?
A lot of crossword puzzle guys.
Is Quigs going?
No.
A, B, T, J, Rudy, Ken Jack, Nick, Greer, Austin, John Rich,
Ratchet Old Freak, which is Clemmer, Mook, Maresh, and Vibs.
What a squad.
A lot of crossword puzzle, guys.
There it is.
There's the T.J.'s.
Make sure they don't get the serial number.
T.J.'s in it?
T.J.'s in it.
Make sure they don't get your number.
I can't go tonight, though.
What?
I have to prep
for a roof ball.
Okay.
DJ, are you feeling
pressure?
Yeah.
I'm probably going to
hit the sauna tonight.
Pressure makes
diamonds, though,
brother.
Sweat out all the
toxins.
I thrive under pressure.
I'm actually thinking
I shouldn't go to
this concert.
I would bail on the
concert.
I think I'm going to
have some salt bath
or something like that.
I've been looking
forward to this
concert all year. Like, shit. You're going to be seeing fractals. They're going to have some salt bath or something like that. I've been looking forward to this concert all year.
Like, shit.
You're going to be seeing fractals.
They're going to be coming down from mushrooms.
I might just keep eating mushrooms.
First person to win roof ball on mushrooms.
You're going to be like, Dwight.
Who is it?
Doc.
Doc.
Doc Holliday.
He missed the parade.
Doc Ellis.
Doc Ellis.
Doc Ellis.
Doc Ellis.
Doc Holliday is from Tombstone. I think it. Doc Ellis. Doc Ellis. Doc Holliday's from Tombstone.
I think it's Doc Ellis.
And then I think...
Doc couldn't have missed the World Series parade because he was...
Yeah, but Doc Ellis threw a perfect game on acid.
And I'm pretty sure AJ Delario, the old Deadspin editor,
took acid and did it on MLB The Show.
And he gave up like 20 runs.
It's probably just a little bit of acid.
Yeah, just a little left in the system.
Probably going to do acid tomorrow.
You would have no idea how to handle acid.
You'd freak out.
Lack of life experience at the brain.
Acid would
kick your ass? Yeah.
Well, I'm not going to do acid.
No life experience. There you go.
Guy like you
barely can finish his protein bar.
Because they're terrible.
Little tummy woods.
No, they just aren't good.
Probably a little too much protein for you huh
Sludge
Yeah
You'll never get gains
Probably not no
No I touched
I touched Sass's arm today
And he felt fucking just
Deceptively strong
You see how easily
He just knocked over that ice
Yeah
Well it's annoying
When you put shit on my table
Put shit on your own table.
You guys have a fucking table.
Trouble in paradise?
Yeah, it is when he puts all of his stuff on my desk.
On my one-foot desk.
I think it's funny.
This is all I have.
It's funny to me.
It's all the real estate in the world.
Yeah, this is the only thing that's mine.
You need to put your George Cousins wallet on there.
With your shit.
It's a 90%
wallet there.
A big ass
wallet.
I got a lot of
shit in here.
A lot of cash.
A lot of cash.
A lot of
Dunkin' Donuts
gift cards.
I just want to
play Rip Ball.
I know the
inner competitor
in you.
What are you
going to rip pre-ritual? Ed you. What are you going to rip pre-ritual?
Meditation?
What are you thinking?
Like pre-game.
What are you doing?
What are you going around?
If there's a water bottle.
Are we out of water bottles?
Completely.
Fuck.
I steal one.
You're still here, Tommy here Tommy yeah I could leave
no no I'm just kidding
you know I love you
even though you didn't throw a perfect game
and you have a bunch of sycophants
that suck your dick
it's unbelievable
that's what it's all about
I don't like
like I said I don't want adversaries
I don't believe iron sharpens iron
I believe iron gets massages
iron relaxes and gets massages.
Iron relaxes and gets massages from its sycophants.
Weak-ass iron.
Yeah, pretty weak iron.
You want to spin the wheel, TJ?
Yeah, you want to do NASCAR?
Oh, yeah.
I don't have it.
Make Tommy do it.
Yeah, I'll be there.
Work for your living, yeah.
Oh, perfect.
I'll be there work for your living yeah oh perfect i'll be there this this sunday at the nashville super speedway the ally 400 june 25th at 7 p.m eastern on nbc there will be a parker
mccullum pre-race concert guitars and fast cars and tommy smokes under the lights in music city
will and taylor from busting with the boys will be honorary officials for the race and the new
barstool bar in nashville will be open to race fans all weekend.
I'll be there.
I think Roan is going down, too.
Stephen Che is going.
Maybe Dana Beer is making an appearance.
So you can come hang with us from 7 to 9 p.m. on Friday, June 23rd,
and from 6 to 9 p.m. on Saturday, June 24th.
2023 is the 75th anniversary of NASCAR.
Coming up, NASCAR's first ever street race,
the Chicago Street Race on July 2nd at 5.30 p.m. Eastern.
But this Sunday, Nashville, 7 p.m. Eastern, NBC.
Good ad read, Tom.
Thanks.
Well, boys.
Well, Spin it.
Did you guys play Sporkle West?
We did.
Yeah, I mean, I just...
Can we play today?
Yeah, we can play today.
Anytime after an hour and a half.
Fast.
This will be good for the 12-hour stream.
Did you add this?
You know what I could kill for today, though?
Lobster roll.
I want to add a submarine expedition.
It would be cool to be in a sub.
No, it wouldn't.
I wouldn't want to go.
No, like in it.
But like not underwater?
Correct.
Okay, like a simulator?
Yeah, we or just like...
I actually always have hated submarines.
Yes.
Really?
They're the least inviting places.
Very claustrophobic.
Lobster roll?
Sassy.
Sassy getting his lobster roll?
That would be awesome.
Yeah.
I was reading about sub deaths yesterday,
and they created a whole safety beacon system
based off this sub that in 1963,
I want to say nuclear sub,
120 people just all died.
Man.
Not surprising.
Underwater.
In war?
No. Wait, what was the name of that sub? Thrasher, maybe? Thrasher. Yeah. Not surprising. Underwater. In war? No.
Wait, what was the name of that sub?
Thrasher, maybe? Thrasher.
Yeah.
Sure, Thrasher.
Thrasher.
Oh, you are the...
This is an old school water.
How many is he hoarding?
That shows how long he's been hoarding these waters.
Extra dry.
Yeah, we...
Yep.
Nice.
Don't remember what that is.
Someone doesn't shower for a certain amount of time
I think it's just
You're just
Just don't get wet
Yeah
Can't get wet next time it lands on them
Sure yeah
That works
Is that an extra dry wheel slice?
I don't know
Like add it to the reel?
Maybe
I really don't know
I really don't remember
When did we come up with these? A year ago? Yeah Yeah I don't know I really don't remember When did we come up with these
A year ago
Yeah
Yeah I don't remember
There was definitely something there
Let me look
Maybe I have it in my notes
I'm just excited
Tommy are you excited
I am excited
I want you to get pumped
We're gonna be grilling
You
How many burgers should I get
Fifty
Fifty
Oh extra dry was the cinnamon challenge How about this How many burgers should I get? 50. 50?
Oh, extra dry was the cinnamon challenge. How about this?
Texas toast, bacon jam, and barbecue Fritos on a burger.
That's way too much.
Let's add a boring lettuce, tomato, ketchup, mustard.
I mean, it's dealer's choice.
I might not be cooking.
Let's go grilled cheese as the bun.
So let's make it 30 burgers, Tommy.
And so that'll be 60 grilled cheeses.
So 120 pieces of bread that we make into the 60 grilled cheeses.
Clemmer's lactose.
Perfect.
Shit himself.
I'm going to have to.
Wait, are we getting pizza tonight at Clemmer's?
With the crew, I'm going to have to get probably 60 burgers.
You're thinking two burgers a man?
60 burgers, 60 hot dogs?
Yeah. I think
30 burgers, 60 dogs.
I'm probably going to crush two burgers pre-game and then
two hot dogs post-game and then one hot dog
on the way home. Who's grilling pre-game?
You're going to have to grill your own.
Tommy, you can just grill.
Why don't you go to Anthony's now?
Yeah, set up shop.
We should get Chef Donnie back from France to grill us.
Yeah, seriously.
His life looks awesome right now.
Yeah, those videos he's posting are really good.
Working really hard, though.
Yeah.
Him, when he was like, I've been up since 3 a.m.
I went home to take a 30-minute nap to then go back.
Yeah.
To do the dinner shift.
Fucking reminds me of my life.
Does he live in a little remote village?
I think so.
Yeah, it looks awesome.
He's living in the attic of the restaurant he's working at.
He says the chef comes by.
Is he there yet?
Because I know he was saying he was in an Airbnb.
He's going.
Not yet.
He said seven days in the Airbnb, so he's only on day four, I think.
He's doing something that could just be like the plot of a movie.
Someone could just make a movie of like, oh, yeah, I spent a...
Well, like a movie for women, though.
Yeah.
This would be a rom-com.
A hot chef movie.
That could be a movie.
Maybe if he...
A guy trying to find himself,
goes spends a summer in France cooking at a restaurant,
meets some great people, finds himself.
Slings dick, and it's called Oui Oui.
Flies back, wins roof ball.
Movie starts.
It makes us American burgers. Has to fly back to make hot dogs. and it's called Wee Wee. Flies back, wins roof ball, movie starts.
It makes us American burgers.
Has to fly back to make hot dogs.
I bet Donnie makes a damn good smash burger.
Of course, he has videos on it. He's good every year.
Hungry as fuck.
He's going to be cooking for us every Sunday.
Really?
Yeah.
That'll be nice.
We're getting a chef out here, too. I'm craving a burger. Yeah. That'll be nice. Really wish Clem were We're getting a chef
out here too.
I'm craving a burger
so bad.
Yeah with jam and
chips.
Quit it.
Oh you want jam and
chips.
Oh can you
corn?
Corn on the cob.
Mexican street corn.
Yeah Mexican
street corn.
Mexican street corn
on the burger.
Are you writing this
down Tommy?
I mean this could be
anyone could have to
do all this.
Yeah but judging off
the odds. Yeah. Clemmer. Yeah, but judging off the odds...
Yeah.
Clemmer would have to cook based off the odds.
Oh, I don't want Clemmer cooking.
If Clemmer cooks...
If Clemmer loses, Tommy has to cook.
No.
That's fair.
Clemmer only cooks in a cauldron,
adding, like, eye of newt to things.
Clemmer makes the meanest eye of newt.
Yeah.
Fucking bubble, bubble, toil and trouble ass.
Sporkle? Yeah. What's bubble toil and trouble ass. Sporkle?
Yeah.
What's the wheel for?
Somebody has to do the cinnamon challenge.
Oh, shit.
Oh, God.
Wait, what is that?
You don't have to do that.
That's like death, isn't it?
No, it's not.
No, you just cough.
Okay.
Let's do it.
It's not going to be me anyway.
I wouldn't mind doing a little cinnamon.
One spin or eliminator.
Eliminator. Okay. Fuck. I wouldn't mind doing a little cinnamon. One spin or eliminator. Eliminator.
Okay.
Fuck.
I just kind of wanted to rip the bandage.
All right, Tommy.
Let's just do one spin, actually.
See what you did.
I think the cinnamon challenge would 1,000% kill Tommy.
What?
There is no chance he survives that.
I thought that was like a viral trend.
Then it said stop and we're done.
Yeah. Really? I'm glad I didn't chance he survives that. Everyone died. Really?
I'm glad I didn't have to do that.
I think it was like 70,000 people died.
Not all of them.
Like a couple days after.
Pre-existing conditions.
Somebody of them were vaccinated.
You die that night.
No.
I would have did this.
Welcome to the club.
I'll have a little taste.
What is it?
You just put cinnamon in your mouth?
I think you just have to swallow a ton of cinnamon.
You try to eat a tablespoon of cinnamon.
You put it all in your mouth, and then you try and swallow it and go like that,
and then show it.
But really just...
There's a cheat to beat.
There we go.
Ah!
Get there.
God.
Uh-oh, Sass.
Starting to get nervous. Is this Sass. Starting to get nervous.
Isn't your own challenge?
Starting to get worried.
Where you should be.
Damn, I'm hoping it'll be Jay.
Nick.
I'm near you, Nick.
You know it's going to be near you.
Wow.
Sorry, dude.
I was really pulling with you there.
Sorry I have to leave you.
That's all right, man.
Best of one?
No.
Yeah.
Best of three?
No.
Best of nine.
No, why would we change it from what we always do?
Is this a cinnamon?
It's the worst flavor sour gummy worm.
Yeah.
It's the worst country.
Ireland? Yeah. India? the worst country. Ireland?
Yeah.
India?
No, no.
God, no.
Ireland.
Cote d'Ivoire?
God damn it.
Seth, I mean, it's so chill.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
It's not.
It is so far from over.
It's true.
If it's a sweep, you got to put up your butt.
You got to boof it.
Way rather do that.
On one.
No sweep, no sweep. No sweep.
Cinnamon in my ass.
Cinnamon ass.
My farts would be smelling so good.
Smell like cinnamon.
Christmas.
Yeah.
Smell just like cinnamon.
Two-one.
Going to go seven.
Do we have cinnamon?
No.
We're going to do this for a 12-hour stream.
We'll do it at Roofball.
Tommy, bring some cinnamon when you go to the store.
Cinnamon on a burger?
Yeah, cinnamon burger.
Ew.
Yeah, it's over for me.
Do you want to go get
some right now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're doing it for the
12-hour stream.
Go to the store.
We'll play some Sporkle.
I don't have time to do it.
I have an interview after this.
With who?
With PMT.
Probably have like fucking stiff socks or something.
That's game.
That's probably some other fucking Philly podcast.
They shouldn't.
What?
All right.
Yeah, grab some cinnamon.
We'll play some Sporkle.
He'll come back.
He'll do the cinnamon challenge.
We'll win the show.
We'll all go home happy.
Lost? Sass. I haven't lost anything in a while. play some Sporkle. He'll come back. He'll do the cinnamon challenge, win the show. We'll all go home happy. Who lost?
His ass.
I haven't lost anything in a while.
Chase, you going to get cinnamon?
Yep.
Love it.
Well, we're buying it today.
We're not doing it today.
No, we're doing it today.
What do you do?
What do you have to do, TJ?
I'll do my cinnamon today
if Chase does his hot honey.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We want to watch him.
You know what would be fun?
Then I'll do the same thing
that he does it.
Oh, just do the cinnamon.
I don't know why I have to
do mine today, but no one
else has to do theirs ever.
So easy.
It takes one second.
It's easy.
You don't get wet.
It doesn't ruin your day.
No, it doesn't.
I don't want to die.
I swear to God you won't die.
70,000 people did not die,
by the way.
No, of course not.
Cinnamon would be illegal.
You literally cough.
What does he have to do?
Just a teaspoon?
Yes, it's so easy.
Spoon.
Tablespoon?
Just a spoon.
Spoonful of cinnamon.
You got this, bro.
Want me to do it with you?
No.
You want me to do it with you? I don't want anyone to do it with you? No. You want me to do it with you?
I don't want anyone to do it with me.
What if me and Big Cat do it with you?
We just offered.
What would I gain from that?
Bothery.
Bothery loves company.
My dog.
Pretend we're all in a sub together.
I don't want anyone to be miserable.
You wouldn't want chips on a burger?
You think that would taste bad?
It would make the burger worse?
I do.
When you're at a backyard bar, you don't want anybody doing these artisanal damn burgers.
I'm with you.
I'm with KB.
It takes five seconds.
Pour some chips on the burger.
It will taste better.
I don't like chips on a burger.
I'm with you.
KB's right.
It's an unnecessary.
But what type of chips?
It can't be thin.
I think it would improve any burger.
It'd have to be thick, though.
The mouthfeel.
It's all about the mouth.
Because otherwise, it'll get soggy.
It adds to the mouthfeel.
Yeah, the mouthfeel's worse with that.
Sass, you have to break the tie.
It's a metal chip?
It's two with KB, two against KB.
Should Tommy put chips on the burger?
Oh, I'm 100% with KB.
All right, so good.
Oh, chips on burger.
Chips on burger tomorrow, Tommy.
I don't think you have to put chips on anything.
People won't do it until it goes viral on Twitter.
No, no, Tommy's making chips.
You turn into an old-ass curmudgeon.
I know.
It's horrible.
It's horrible.
It's miserable.
But I think a jam and chips would make it phenomenal.
Dude, I put jam and chips on an egg sandwich, and it's phenomenal.
You are craving jam so bad.
Jam on a burger or a sandwich.
I almost bought a jam two days ago and ate it with a spoon the entire thing,
the entire jar of jam.
You might be thinking of jelly, Nick.
Preserves.
Yeah.
I'm thinking of a jam.
I have a PB&J when I get home.
I'm going to smash burger.
I bought a cream cheese.
I'm craving a burger.
I want a burger bad.
No, you're going to ruin your burgers for tomorrow.
We need to make a pack.
Is that valid?
They're totally different burgers.
There's this mango habanero jam that my mom gets.
Oh, yeah.
That shit's good as bull.
You put this all on the notes app, please?
This could be for anyone.
Mango habanero.
Keep the menu.
I'm worried that you're not focused.
Ooh, what about some chicken parm?
Oh, yeah.
I would love a chicken parm.
That's out of my arsenal.
Yes, perfect.
Psychologist believes Titanic sub crew is likely experiencing mood swings.
Yeah.
They're dead.
I'm sure they are.
They're dead.
I don't even think it's swinging.
It's just mood.
Is it going up at all?
They're experiencing mood.
One.
Dude's trapped on tiny submarine likely angry
likely not pumped yeah likely not having a great time
tell me your anti-joke about the submarine oh i i just think it's weird how much people we
talked about this yesterday yeah it's weird how much people are joking about yeah i don't i. It's weird how much people are joking about it. See, I don't.
I feel like when they get back, they're going to be expecting like a hero's welcome.
They're dead, Tommy.
They've been dead for 45 minutes.
Tommy, they're dead.
If they get back, it would be very disappointing.
Tommy, look me in the eyes.
Oh, no.
Those odds just went through the roof.
Yeah.
Unintended.
This guy's going to be cooking all day.
Tommy, look me in the eyes You're dead
Yeah that's fine
I'm not affected by this
It's been 46 minutes
But then someone said 3am
But the thing is
That was like their oxygen
If their breathing was staying the same
They're probably panicked
They killed each other
Yes someone's dead.
I mean, somebody probably floated the idea like we'd have more time if there were less people.
That's got to be a rough conversation.
They always bring a wheel on the side.
Do they have food and water?
I don't know.
A lot of water.
They have burgers with chips on them.
No thanks.
I can drink.
Ew.
Is this new?
It's been four days, Nick. Get me out of here. I don't want this. Ew. This jam.
It's been four days, Nick.
Get me out of here.
I don't want this.
This is officially the worst day ever.
Imagine Hawaiian sweet onion chips in any jam.
Any jam.
Any jam. Hawaiian sweet onion chips.
Hawaiian sweet onion chips are my favorite.
Tommy, I want your mind to go to places never gone with this menu.
Are you buying?
I'm going to go.
I'm going to leave the office tomorrow at like 1030, and I will stop.
I'll try to find a Whole Foods, and I'll get like the best meats.
And the jams?
Jams.
Okay.
Everyone just send me what they want.
We're bringing jams, and we're making people try them.
I don't want jam
On my fucking burger
Well too bad
Make one burger
I have one speed
What do you like
On your burger Nick?
Cheese
Yeah
Lettuce
Tomato
Onion
You love
You eat lettuce plain?
What?
You eat lettuce plain?
What are you talking about?
You eat lettuce plain
That's the question
No
Lettuce plain is like a three out of ten.
What about chips plain?
Good point.
I don't understand why this is just like, yeah, chips on a burger.
Onion.
Onion plain.
It's the same thing as like you put fries on a burger.
One out of ten.
You put fries on a burger.
I don't like that.
Why?
Why?
He's right.
I was going to say the chips are better because it has a better texture.
It's fatty.
It's crunch.
The side of the room understands. I think going to say the chips are better because it has a better texture. It's fatty. It's crunch.
I think they hurt my mouth.
Sometimes chips are refreshing crunch.
You eat the lettuce for the crunch.
You don't like the taste.
Sometimes chips hurt my mouth.
The lettuce adds nothing but a crunch.
It doesn't add taste.
The chip would add crunch and phenomenal taste.
The chip would be the best tasting thing on the burger.
Better than the individual patty.
Better than the bread, maybe, and everything else. The jam would be number best tasting thing on the burger. Better than the individual patty, better than the bread maybe, and everything else.
The jam would be number two. I don't know if I agree with that. I think the
chips would make the texture better. Yeah, eyes
are sharp. I put chips on every
sandwich I eat. Yes. I crunch
up a bunch of them in my hands. Yeah, I don't even crunch
them, I just lamb. And then what, do you squeeze
the sandwich down? Squeeze it. Good idea too. Crunch.
Because that feels good to squeeze it down.
Oh, the best. You hear all the crunching.
Because that's that mouthfeel Tommy's talking about.
He knows the term, but he doesn't know how to use it.
I've just been throwing it out a few times, hoping it hits once.
Tuna doesn't suck.
What are you, five?
Tuna?
What are you, fucking two?
Tuna sandwiches.
Tuna's good.
Tuna's good.
I'm eating turkey.
Tuna's for adults, too.
Tuna's for children. No, you're, no. You don't have any life experience. Tuna's for children Tuna's good? I'm eating turkey. Tuna's for adults, too. Tuna's for children.
No, you don't have any life experience.
You don't know what tuna is.
I haven't had a tuna sandwich in 15 years.
Wait till you grow up, brother.
Yeah, wait till you get some fucking hair on your chest and start eating tuna again.
What are you eating, like out of the can?
No, get like a tuna sandwich.
Tuna salad. Yeah. Tuna melt there, I say the can? No, I'd get like a tuna sandwich. Tuna salad?
Yeah.
Tuna melt, dare I say?
Gross.
No, not gross.
Melt, I'm not.
I'm actually not a fan of the melt.
Me neither.
Tommy, are you drinking right now?
You've run through me this.
Jesus Christ, Tommy.
I'm waiting for me.
And you're throwing it back.
You're that nervous about roof balls you started drinking?
Yeah, I mean, I'm going to have to get a whole menu ready.
Should I get you an apron, like kiss me, I'm the chef?
Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That'll make me feel special.
Is he lazy to drop sandwich-flavored chips to put on your sandwich?
That's doing too much.
That's way too much.
That's doing too much.
No, I...
I bet those are actually really fucking good.
I was going to say.
Buffalo chicken ones look so good
That's awesome
God damn it
God damn it
Baked buffalo chicken too
I wish I hadn't seen that picture
I would have just been staunch
I need a smash burger
I need it right now
No, do not get burgers before tomorrow
I need to know
I need like practice
I need to look at it
and know what I'm driving for
You're not going to enjoy it as much tomorrow
You're literally ruining your palate
Alright, let's give up on this whole cinnamon bullshit.
Well, let's play Sporkle, and then we'll do...
Yeah, then if we have time, we'll do cinnamon.
It would be a sick Sporkle if we just tried to have to name the people that work here.
Okay, one employee of Brick Watch Company.
There's actually two employees of Brick Watch Company.
Two big four sports teams.
They're just asking for one.
Yeah, you're right.
But I bet you they don't have the other one. Two big four sports teams. They're just asking for one. Yeah, you're right. But I bet you they don't have the other one.
Two big four sports teams with numbers in their names.
Three Powerpuff Girls.
Four heads on Mount Rushmore.
Five active NFL offensive player of the year winners.
Have we done this?
Six chess pieces.
Seven face paints from Tommy Walker Day.
Whoa.
Playable characters in Mario Kart.
Nine populated countries.
Nine most populated countries.
Ten nominees for 2022 Oscar Best Picture, including winner.
Nominate ten.
Was that the Oscars this year or last year?
This year.
2022?
Oscars were held in 2022.
2022 Best Movie, so it's this year.
It's this year.
This is 2023.
Halfway through. The days are getting shorter. Should we do a test? Should we do a test one to see which year it is 2023 that's one halfway through the days are getting shorter we do a test should we
do like a test one to see what year it is it was the last oscars yeah okay uh no no no no private
ryan oh that's not gonna work oh we're testing cats out all right no i was joking so no you're
all right go ahead first out nice uh I will go with Ben Mintz.
I hope it's the other guy.
They're asking for one of two, brother.
I don't know who the other guy's name is.
Abraham Lincoln.
49ers.
76ers.
Pawn. E-A-W-N. Hmm. Pawn.
E-A-W-N.
Queen.
You would say that.
Yeah.
Sly?
I will go with India.
We should say what you're answering.
I thought there was a Powerpuff Girl named Pawn.
I don't know the Powerpuff Girls, but how about King for chess pieces?
Mario.
For characters in Mario Kart.
Oh, yeah.
Six chess pieces, Rook.
Six chess pieces, Knight. Is that the horse? Yeah. I thought it was just horse. Six chest pieces knight.
Is that the horse?
Yeah.
I thought it was just horse.
Six chest pieces.
That's why I didn't do that one.
Bishop.
I definitely thought it was horse.
Yeah.
Bishop.
B-I-S-H-O-P for chest pieces.
Why is it a horse?
I don't know.
I think so.
You're riding a horse.
You're riding it like a knight.
It's like a knight riding a horse.
Is there a knight on it?
It's not a knight. It's just a horse. Right're riding it like a knight. It's like the knight riding the horse. Is there a knight on it? It's just a horse.
Right, so it's horse.
I will go with China.
China.
Roosevelt.
Rushmore.
ELT.
Mario characters Toad
Rushmore Thomas Jefferson
TJ
Tawas Jefferson
Mario characters Luigi
Rushmore George Washington.
It's the longest
we've gone with nobody being out.
Uh-oh.
None of us know the paint.
What? I do.
I know one.
I know one.
Clown.
You were a sad clown.
Say it. there you go nice
actually i think i might know countries uh the united states
mario kart characters bowser i think that's one
populated countries Brazil Mario
cart characters Wario yep shut up
Wario W-A-R-I-O populated countries
Japan no Tommy's out i'm ass japan's tiny tiny tiny bitsy tiny uh dumb ass okay you're a dumb ass
you're out first why don't you start making me a dumb ass um
all right i'm gonna go with everything everywhere all at once.
If this is it, it's not.
It's a big risk.
It is a big risk.
But if it's on there...
Have we spelled everything wrong?
Oh, moment of truth.
Yeah!
Cool.
Sorry, Tommy.
Dumbass.
Foolass.
Go ahead.
Roan. Asshead.. Dumbass. Foolass. Go ahead. Roan.
Asshead.
Assface. Indonesia. I'm going to do the sentiment challenge. I don't have to.
I'm not. I'm doing shit.
Princess Peach.
Oh, that was going to be the one I was going to do.
Fuck you.
Five active NFL
offensive player of the year winners.
Hatch from Holmes. Yeah. Five active NFL Offensive Player of the Year winners. Patrick Mahomes.
Yeah.
I will go.
MVP, always.
Yoshi.
Ooh.
Was Yoshi in that?
Yes.
I can't believe I said Japan.
It's my character.
I'm going to go with Michelangelo, Ninja Turtle.
I think that was me
One word
Ninja Turtle
That's what I was
Oh no
That would be in Seattle
Pakistan Yeah, that's shit. Pakistan.
Nigeria. Nigeria.
Show me Cooper Cup.
K-U-P-P.
Yeah.
And let's round it off with Donkey Kong
Atta boy, Nicky
Yeah, TJ
Whoa, TJ, what was that, pal?
Isn't that Koopa?
Nope
You went to Whole Foods for cinnamon?
Hell yes
They don't have cinnamon at Duane Reade?
Thank you, Che
We're getting far, boys I will go with The Whale.
Nice.
No, it's not.
He only got nominated for Best Actor.
Oh, ass.
No.
See you, bitch.
Ass.
See you, bitch.
Ass.
Top Gun Maverick.
KB.
Bangladesh.
Jay is completely out of breath.
He ran back from... Thank you, Jay.
You're committed.
No. Ugh're committed. No.
Ugh.
Fuck.
Let's go Aaron Rodgers.
Shit.
Fool ass.
Fool ass.
Damn it.
Show me bubbles for a Powerpuff Girl.
He's had these in his back pocket the whole time.
Roan?
Tar.
Brady active?
Yeah, he could have.
The problem is the MVP thing gets it confusing.
Like, Rogers won a couple MVPs, but I thought they doubled up, but maybe not.
What was I face-painted as?
That was often photographed.
Was it a pig?
Ooh, Coda.
See here.
Really?
I think that was last year.
Ah, my bad.
All right, Nick and Roan.
I was a tiger.
Women talking.
You'll be talking.
Worst.
Worst movie ever.
Shot.
Oh. Did it make it? Yeah. Who Worst movie ever. Shot. Oh.
Did it make it?
Yeah.
Who wants to see that?
I will go Buttercup, Powerpuff Girl.
Thanks, DJ.
Fucking perv.
Come on, Roan.
What the hell?
Come on, Nick.
I don't know why.
I just wanted to go all the way.
Derek Henry.
Come on, Nick.
Blossom.
Come on, Roan.
Oh!
Can I take that?
I did it.
It wasn't that hard.
Actually, I'm not positive.
You didn't do the cinnamon challenge.
Cinnamon on my spoon right now.
I just eyeballed a teaspoon, though.
I don't really know how much a teaspoon is.
You've got to fill the spoon up.
It's a tablespoon.
You fill the spoon up.
A whole spoon?
Yes.
That feels like a lot. That's a tablespoon. You fill the spoon up. A whole spoon? Yes. That feels like a lot. That's the challenge.
This doesn't have a taste of something.
Five. Four.
Egg.
In case I die.
Egg.
Uh, Zah isn't there.
Zah left. It's all left.
It's gone.
Pig.
Deeper need you to type pig.
Pig.
Type pig.
What is this for? No pig.
God damn it, KB.
Is France?
I was not a pig for that?
Jay was a panda?
Oh, fuck.
Oh, still in.
Still in.
Shit, I shouldn't have said that.
Okay.
Give me some time.
Give me a second.
Sass, tell us before you do it.
We want to have the video on you.
Fill it all the way up, buddy.
I need, like, a water or something, though, because I'm not trying to, like, actually die.
That's my only... There's no more waters
It's my only ask
You can text Clowney
Remember when you wouldn't give me any of your Red Bull?
Yeah I do
No regrets
Pirates
If I could avoid death, that would be...
Oh, wrong.
If you were yourself, you're a pirate.
Not a big movie show.
Come on, Nicky.
Don't do this now.
Come on, Nicky.
No, no, no.
I saw what happened.
Come on, Nicky.
You're going to be very happy when I don't get this.
You might jump for fucking joy. Come on, Nicky. You're going to be very happy when I don't get this. You might jump for fucking joy.
Come on, Nicky.
Rune free sword.
Oh, you got to be fucking kidding me.
All right, that's enough.
Kyle wasn't a pig.
He was pink as hell.
I was wearing the purple sweatshirt.
No, no, I don't want any hints.
I don't want any hints.
It was a...
Wasn't it?
Maybe not.
And I think Kate's wearing face paint in the fucking...
Was Kate there for Tommy Walker Day?
Oh.
Oh, she wasn't.
Fuck, man.
Christian McCaffrey.
Damn. Yes! That's what I'm talking about, man. Christian McCaffrey. Damn.
Yes!
That's what I'm talking about, man!
Fuck yes!
Yeah, yeah.
Boy!
All right, that's all right.
What else was on there?
Ladybug?
Was Michael Thomas on there?
I was holding on to Michael Thomas.
Michael Thomas.
France?
France for the country?
I think it's Germany.
Russia?
Oh, you're Pikachu
All quiet on the
Western class
Avatar the wearer of water
The banshees of
Inishirin
Elvis
God damn it
Cam
Triangle of sadness
Koopa Troopa was in
Super
The first Mario Kart
Let's watch
Sassy's Cinnamon Challenge
Let's play one more
We need to clean
Slate it one day
We have to
That'd be awesome
That was a good one That was a good one
Thank you for ever made that
Great job by Roan
Just fucking dominated
This is enough right?
This is full?
It's not full
But I think that's good because that's enough where you can actually do it
You have to put it in your mouth
That's good
Don't take any off
I'm flattening it out so that you can see.
Some just fell off.
I'm showing you that it's completely full.
It's actually over the top.
So what happens if I die?
You're not going to die.
We'll mourn you.
We will play roofball in your memory.
The internet says you have 60 seconds to do it.
You have a whole 60 seconds to swallow.
I'll do your act
if you die.
You have to
I'd say that 20 people
a minute die
from the cinnamon challenge
every day.
I'll grill a few less
burgers tomorrow.
You can't drink anything
for the 60 seconds.
Okay.
Easy.
Here we go.
I wonder what it's
going to feel like.
Three, two
Why am I like scared?
I don't know.
Just do it.
Just do it. Just do it.
Oh my god.
No, do it, do it.
Swallow, swallow.
What are you doing?
Wait, this one's really funny.
See why this one's so viral.
This is really funny.
Spit out the water.
Holy fuck, dude.
It's like the weirdest texture.
The gas of it coming out of your mouth. It's poofs.
The poofs.
I kind of want to do it.
It was the most silent agony.
You didn't even try to swallow. out of your mouth. It's poofs. The poofs. I kind of want to do it. That was the most silent agony I've ever seen.
You didn't even try to swallow.
You just let it sit. No, I don't think it's possible.
No, you have to try
because that's when you
like cough it out.
Ooh.
Spicy or what?
Dude, that's really weird.
I don't like that.
It like glues your mouth together.
Takes all the moisture out.
Yeah, well, I didn't do it, so fuck me.
You just, you did it.
You did it, bro.
You didn't beat it.
One last sparkle.
One last sparkle.
I tried, it feels so weird.
First person out has to do it.
Okay.
Okay.
That includes you, Sass.
No.
Okay, well then. Just includes you, Sass. No. Okay. Well, then.
Just don't get out first.
Starting with Roan, so you're the last person to go.
Oh, man. That was so strange.
If you get addicted
to doing that. It was like the weirdest
feeling. You didn't mind it, though.
No, I did. Oh, you did.
One maimed Australian female surfer.
Got it. Two rival gangs in the West Side Story.
Three legendary Pokemon bird trio.
Four main characters of Seinfeld.
Five starting OL for the Eagles in their Super Bowl win.
Okay.
Six years Bulls won the championship.
Seven wonders of the world.
Eight of the last unique cover
Pokemon in mainline games.
Nine largest cities
in Europe. Top ten
ranking teams in the final
2002 CFP
rankings. So that's college
football playoff rankings.
Top ten final teams.
Has anyone ever completed the Cinnamon Challenge?
Has anyone ever actually been able to swallow all of that?
Yes.
Probably.
That feels like as soon as it gets into your throat, you're fucked.
You want to know the secret?
Yeah.
If you just, like, suck on all of it and saturate it with spit, it just turns into a solid.
And then you can, like, chew it.
Oh.
Now I want to try that.
It, like, glues to every single part of your mouth.
Like, every crevice.
But it's just like.
Didn't look fun.
No.
I mean, it wasn't bad because I didn't really do it, but.
You did it.
Whatever.
What can you do?
Try my best every day.
Okay, let's do it.
Let's do it.
All right, Jerry Seinfeld.
Oh, nice.
George.
Elaine. Elaine.
Kramer.
Time photo's cleared.
A K-R-A-M-E-R.
I have some ones here that I need to keep in my back pocket.
Yeah.
1996.
I don't know what's saying the wolves.
Oh, goddammit, Tommy.
Those are the back pockets.
I'll go Paris.
Fuck you.
Elise.
The seven wonders always trip me up.
The modern wonders and the ancient wonders, right?
Then clarify.
I think I know the wonders.
1997.
Fuck you.
KB, you want to swap?
Swap, swap, swap.
Football, football playoffs.
Yes, Georgia.
Georgia?
Georgia.
Jason Kelsey.
You bastard.
Bethany Hamilton.
1998?
I will go with Alabama.
When they have like Pokemon
1993
How do you know all this Ron?
What are you talking about?
Smart as hell
He's so fucking smart
Sneaky smartest guy in the office
He's so sneaky
So sneaky
Sneaky one of the most talented too
ECU
Sneaky
Low key 1992 So sneaky. So sneaky. Sneaky one of the most talented, too. ECU. Sneaky, sneaky.
Low key.
1992.
Are you Sneaky the Goat?
Baker might be Sneaky the Goat.
Do you see he just pulled 92 out of his ass?
It's cheating, so it's easy.
Ohio State.
1991.
Oh, crazy.
Bulls are cleared.
Bulls have been cleared.
Bulls have been cleared.
Seven wonders of the world.
I'm going to go with Denali.
I don't think so.
I think that's a natural one.
Oh, cinnamon challenge.
I'm not doing that.
I already did it.
All right.
Michigan for top ten teams.
Nice.
What is the Seven Wonders of the World?
Moscow.
Don't say anything because I think I know a decent amount of them. In Johnson.
Articuno.
A-R-T-I-C-U-N-O.
A-R-T-I-C-U-N-O.
Any of those?
Nick's about to clear some boards on his own.
I'll go with the sharks for a rival gang.
The cover Pokemon is tough.
I'll go with the jets since he's trying to snatch up rival gangs.
And rival gangs has been cleared.
Cleared.
Cities, Europe, Istanbul.
You can't go back to Constantinople.
Yeah, I fucked up.
London.
It's the thing of the seven summits.
Moltres.
M-O-L-T-R-E-S.
Oh, fuck.
There is a Pokemon one.
There's two Pokemon.
There's two Pokemons.
There's 11 Pokemon questions for Nick.
No, I don't think I'll get the cover Pokemon.
It's going to be tough.
Yeah, I'm sure.
Huh. It's going to be tough. Yeah, I'm sure. Huh.
It's going to be tough.
I'm rooting against you
for the first time.
I swear it's...
Try Roam.
I don't know if that's
going to be on there.
Definitely will be.
You're such a fool ass, Tommy.
You don't deserve this.
Or that elimination.
Roam.
You're a fool ass,
dumb ass bitch.
Dumb ass fucking bitch.
You're a fool ass hoe ass.
Forgot we're not allowed to say that.
Stefan Wisniewski.
H word.
I don't know how, I don't even know how to spell it.
Since Brandon Brooks got hurt, they wound up starting Stefan Wisniewski.
Can you look that up, Che?
How to spell that?
W-I-C-E-Z or something like that?
Stefan Wisniewski?
We already tried all the spelling, so I think you might have just done it wrong.
I don't think so, Seth.
I think you might.
Sneaky goat.
Like sneaky woad.
The worst ever.
I don't know if we're spelling it.
No.
All right.
Can you just look it up, Che?
That's it.
Sneaky woad. That's it. Out on your own team.
That's not true, though.
Woated.
Woated.
Oh, Roan, take it up with the league.
Take it up with the league, brother.
Here we go.
Cinnamon, maybe.
Oh, it's on there.
Oh, shit.
Suck my collective dick.
Look at the trolling.
Milan.
Welcome to the troll zone, bitch.
Population.
Booze.
It's out.
How about Berlin?
Zapdos.
Z-A-P-D-O-S.
How about USC for rankings?
Sorry, Tommy.
No?
Wool-ass, ask headass.
They were up there all year.
They lost the last two games.
How about Isaac Sayamalu?
Our stool sports.
That's a tough one.
Keep up, bro.
S-E-O-M-A-L-U or something?
You the one that sings really well.
That's my Lada, but he wasn't on the squad yet.
Got a fact checker there.
You got me, Che?
Show me.
Got it? No? S-E-U-M-A-L-O
S-E-U so I'm out
oh damn
show me
Tennessee
Tennessee
shit
two ones Tennessee. Shit.
Two ones.
Let's go the Hanging Gardens.
Of Babylon.
What?
Oh!
Can I win my first one ever? Fuck. Come on, big cat. Oh my god, I can win my first one ever? Fuck.
Come on, big cat.
Oh, my God.
I can win my first one ever.
There's a Pokemon left.
Oh, shit.
It's big for the underdogs.
Oh, man.
I think I have one.
Penn State.
Yes.
Game.
Got it.
Good job.
Are the Hanging Gardens not a...
I don't even want one.
I missed the seven wonders all the time.
There's a million different lists.
Taj Mahal?
All right, let's go another.
Taj Mahal.
How about Barcelona, Madrid?
Yeah, is Niagara Falls...
Are the pyramids?
St. Peter's Pyramids.
The natural ones.
I think the seven...
Hamburg, maybe?
Pyramids aren't.
Niagara Falls?
No, it's not Niagara Falls.
It's a natural wonder.
Madrid?
Press give up.
The Library of Alexandria?
Are those the ancient wonders?
Yeah the Great Pyramid
Utah
We did this the other day
Lighthouse of Alexandria
The Temple of Artemis
Brandon Brooks
I thought he was hurt
I thought I had Brandon Brooks
Alright let's do another
Alright last one
Then I gotta go
Why?
Cause I gotta eat
I gotta get my mushrooms on
Oh come on
We gotta do an ad after
Remember?
Big head run
Oh yeah
Yes yes Your mushrooms can wait Okay One subject seven got to get my mushrooms on oh come on after remember big kind of run oh yeah yes yes your
mushrooms can wait okay one subject seven two members of outcast three actors who played
spider-man movies live action four cat cave derby horses i don't even know if i know those uh five
active nfl defensive player of the year winners six latest u U.S. Vice Presidents. Seven NBA All-Stars drafted in 2011.
Eight U.S. states that start with M.
Nine teams Ryan Fetachik played for.
11 comedians who sold out Madison Square Garden.
A for Noy.
That's a good one.
Set us off, Big Guy.
Oh, I'm going first.
This is illegal, but...
Don't do it.
Yeah, I wouldn't even say it.
Don't do it.
You could win without doing it my man
yeah there was a good heart in there uh andre 3000 i would have been so funny
uh main
uh mike pence Mike Pence
Magus Sass
Missouri
Sorry Roan
Sorry Roan
Sorry buddy
Fucked it up
Amala Harris
Joe Biden Sleepy Joe Sit this one out Fucked it up Amala Harris Goat
Joe Biden
Sleepy Joe
Big boy
The I
Oh
Nicky
No
No
Yo I
No
No
Montana
Nice
Good poll.
Really good poll, dude.
That's a really good poll.
Louis C.K.
Spiral Ham.
Look you.
Tobey Maguire.
Did he not do it uh no he definitely did i'm cg i think there's a c between b and e and y but i don't think it's mcguire i think it's m-a-g-u-i-r-e don't they say that what's it called
uh oh yeah it's E-Y. Maryland.
No, no, no, Dorios.
Aaron Donald.
Nice.
Nice.
Mississippi.
Nice.
Nice.
Nice.
George Carlin.
L.I.N.? Yeah.
Tom Holland for three actors who have played Spider-Man in the movies.
Yeah, we've got to say him.
States that begin with M, Minnesota.
Cold like Minnesota.
We're the board, Massachusetts.
States with M. States are cleared. States are are cleared States have been cleared
Outcast has been cleared
Let's clear three actors
who've played Spider-Man with Andrew Garfield
Wow, Nicky
Wow
Wow
Clear the board
Dick Cheney.
Oh.
Vice President.
Why do you say it like that? Z-H-E-N-E-Y.
Want to ruin the vibe?
Dick Cheney.
Dick Cheney.
Aziz.
A-Z-I-Z-S.
A-Z-I-Z, then Ansari.
A-N-S-A-R-I?
He should just come with a Z, right?
That's his first name.
Show me Al Gore.
Oh, nice, nice, nice.
I know this dude.
Ryan Fitzpatrick Jets.
No, no, Jets.
Jets, Jets, Jets. Jets, Jets, Jets. No, no. Jets. Jets.
Jets.
Jets.
Jets.
Jets.
Jets.
Dolphins.
Ryan Fitzpatrick Bills.
Buccaneers.
Is Jay Fistbump?
I'm going to go with Dane Cook.
Right?
Wow.
Nice ass.
Go Dave Chappelle then.
Dave Chappelle.
Oh, fuck.
Why did I not think of Dave Chappelle?
You're fine.
You're still in.
Two Ps, two Ls.
See you, Roan. He's two L's. C-A-R-O-N.
Dave Chappelle definitely sold out MSG.
C-A-R-O-N.
And an E.
There's an E at the end.
I think it's two L's and an E.
One P?
That's how you spell Chappelle.
I don't know.
Maybe not.
Maybe he never did it.
I knew so many. No, that's a killer. That just has he never did it. I knew freaking so many.
No, that's a killer.
That just has to be on there.
Yeah, that should be.
But it's not.
Oh, wow.
Oh, wait, I can't look up.
Look up his name.
That's how you spell his name.
I'm pretty sure he was at Radio City last time he was here.
Two L's.
Case closed.
He didn't sell it out?
Maybe.
Dave Chappelle.
The Washington Commanders Nice
Rams
That's what I was going to go with
It's Patrick
Played for
Miles Garrett He did not play for Miles Garrett.
He did not play for Miles Garrett.
I know.
Fuck.
Whoa.
Are you out?
No.
Che just gave you thumbs down.
Wow.
Roan and Nick out.
Two heavy hitters in the league.
I'll go Kyrie Irving.
He was drafted in 2011, I believe.
Nice. I'll go Chris Rock. Nice. Damn it. I'll go Kyrie Irving. He was drafted in 2011, I believe. Nice.
I'll go Chris Rock.
Nice.
Damn it.
I'll guess Eddie Murphy.
Show me TJ...
Fuck.
Show me Jalen Ramsey.
No.
I don't think so.
T-S-A-Y?
You're out.
He's sassing.
Okay, I'm saying no.
I'm going to go with...
I guess I'll go with Sebastian Miniscalco.
I don't know if he sold it out.
M-A-N-E-S-C-A-L.
Names.
C-O.
I don't know how to spell his name.
C-M-A-N-E-S.
I don't know.
Manas.
If you just look it up, how to spell it.
Save us some time.
He's not on there.
Not on there.
Me and KB.
Let's go, KB.
I got you right where I want you.
Comedians.
Richard Pryor.
I don't think he's on there.
Let me go off.
I'm two in a row.
Yeah.
Did you win?
Did you just win?
Frederico.
I was going to say Dame Lillard.
Is that it?
The Bengals.
Carmella.
Carmella's Dream.
Carmella's Dream.
The Titans.
Titans.
James Harden. I can't see on the text. No. Frank Fleming. Forella's Dream. The Titans. Titans. James Harden.
Frank Fleming for Defensive Player of the Year.
Frank Fleming.
Frank Fleming for Defensive Player of the Year.
Frank Fleming.
He sold out MSG as well.
He was an all-star.
I don't know how to spell it.
It's all right.
You just show.
Give up.
Andrew Dice Clay.
Yeah, Kevin Hart.
Redacted.
Oh, no.
Oh.
He would have been out in the first round.
Yeah, it would have been a great loss. Wow. Von Gil no. He would have been out in the first round. Yeah, it would have been a great loss.
Wow.
Vaughn Gilmore.
He would have been out in the first round.
Jimmy Butler.
Nice.
And Quayle.
Do you guys remember Dan Quayle?
Anyone have memories?
I remember Dan Quayle.
His biggest downfall was he, didn't he spell potato wrong?
Yeah, like an O-E or something.
O-E, and it was like this guy.
Who was the guy that got too excited in a meeting and was like, yeah.
That was Howard Dean.
And that's what fucked him over, right?
Yeah, he was running for president.
He was like winning.
Remember, Dan Quayle was like teaching kids.
He was probably like seven years old.
He spelled potato with O.E.
Who was that, Reagan?
No, for Bush.
What year was the Howard Dean thing?
Because that was the Iowa caucuses, I believe.
That was like 2004. He was the Iowa caucuses, I believe.
That was like 2004.
He was the front runner, if I'm not mistaken.
Yeah.
All right, just one more. We're going to California and Texas and New York.
And we're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan.
And then we're going to Washington, D.C. to take back the White House.
That ruined his presidency right there.
That was it. That was it.
That was it.
That was all she wrote.
Now Trump has a whole speech full of that.
Yeah.
And it plays.
All right, so roof ball tomorrow?
I just won two in a row.
I'm trying to go out on one.
That's what I'm saying.
What if you get a three?
No one's ever won three in a row.
Fine, fuck it.
One more.
I really got to go.
But it's just so damn fun. I have to do an ad after this. All right, fuck it. One more. I really got to go. But it's just so damn fun.
I have to do an ad after this.
All right, last one.
Sorry, I just can't stop working.
All I want to do is work.
All right, U.S. Women's Soccer National Team,
all-time leading scorer.
I've been grinding lately with the two twins from Sister Sister.
Three main boyfriends of Rory Gilmore.
Five largest empires by land area.
Five last VPs of the United States.
Six names of chess pieces.
Can we do a different one?
I think I...
We did two of these have already been done.
NBA players to win MVP and defensive player of the year
the same year.
U.S. presidents to serve the least amount of time in office.
Most watched American TV series finales.
Youngest countries in the world.
World Series runner-ups 2005 to 10.
Most common American last name.
Highest grossing kids comedy movies.
This is good.
Good one.
All right.
I will start.
I'm not going to win this one.
Surprise, surprise.
Fuck, I don't know. Where do I start? Most common American last name is kind to win this one. Surprise, surprise. Fuck, I don't know.
Where do I start?
Most common American last name is kind of a tricky one.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Mash.
Two.
Is that the record?
It looks like it's top one.
That's crazy.
The Phillies.
They fucking lost.
Houston Astros.
Oh, Tommy's here.
He knows baseball.
I'll go Seinfeld.
The Tampa Bay Rays.
Good one.
Good one.
Henry Harrison.
Kids comedy movies.
I think he's definitely Harrison.
William Henry Harrison.
William Harrison.
William Henry Harrison.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Harrison.
Just put Harrison.
I will fucking flip.
Didn't he die real quick?
Yeah, I think he was in there for like 30 seconds.
He gave the speech.
Just put Harrison.
Maybe that'll...
Yeah.
Colorado Rockies.
Let's go...
Was it the Royals?
That's wrong.
Fuck.
Sorry, Nick.
Detroit Tigers.
Is something wrong with you, bro?
You're a little off today.
Yeah, ever since you were rooting for my downfall,
I figured I might as well give it to you, boss man.
I preyed on that downfall, and I won it.
I said the tiger's your own.
Oh, I'll go with elf.
Are we looking for elf?
How?
See ya.
How is that not one of the highest-
Hey, hey.
I feel like kids' comedy movies are pretty subjective.
See ya.
That's insane.
I had another one.
I went with that one. What's your other one? Elf is not a kid's movie. That's insane. I had another one. I went with that one.
Elf is not a kid.
Elf is
strictly a kid. It's an adult.
It's a shower scene. Adults love it.
A shower scene? You can't be a kid and watch it.
Bye-bye. Watch Elf?
PG-13.
It's not?
Not even close.
Hey, hey, hey.
Cut his mic. How about Smith? It's not? No, not even close. Hey, hey, hey. The children's comedy movie.
How about Smith?
Oh, he's doing it.
Gotta be it.
Yeah.
I'm back in.
Youngest countries in the world, South Sudan.
Okay, it's because all of the kids' comedies aren't even on.
Michael Jordan?
This is ridiculous.
Texas Rangers.
Nice, Tommy.
Cleared the board.
World Series runner-ups cleared.
Who did the Royals?
Those are his most common last names.
2014, then they won in 2015.
Oh, it's...
They lost to the Giants, and then they beat the Mets.
Who's up?
Wait.
No, I'm out. Did you skip Nick? up? Wait. No, I'm out.
Did you skip Nick?
I'm out.
Oh, he's out.
Oh, you dick.
This is so stupid.
Whoopsie.
The Rona's up.
Rona.
Oh, my Lord.
What a terrible, terrible category.
You guys aren't going to get a single one.
How about the office?
Bye. Bye. Bye. I didn't say that to office? Bye.
Bye.
I didn't say that to you.
I didn't do that to you, Seth.
No, but I'm doing it to you.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
I'm trying to think of the NBA player.
Ah.
Oh, Hakeem Olajuwon.
I don't think so.
They should change it to 10 highest grossing kids depressing movies.
How about Cheers?
Just me versus Tommy?
Oh, let's go, KB.
He's still in.
He took me off on Olajuwon?
He did.
I would have been wrong because I had a different two.
Cheers.
How about something I'd like to consider all of us?
Friends.
Friends.
God.
You're not coming again anywhere tomorrow?
I'm so mad at KB.
I should know the countries.
Frasier.
F-R-A-I-S-E-R.
S-I-E-R, I think.
It's not it.
Is Tom going to come in here and win?
How about...
Was there a show called Dallas?
I have a guess.
Who shot JR?
Yeah, show me Dallas.
Damn it.
How about James Garfield?
I know he got shot.
Yes, Tommy, win.
Can we do guesses?
Can we do guesses?
I'm going to go Breaking Bad.
All right, show us. Breaking Bad. No, no I'm going to go Breaking Bad. You ain't.
All right, show us.
Show us.
Breaking Bad.
No, no, for movie.
Breaking Bad.
For Sopranos.
Taxi.
Is Taxi one of them?
Nope.
I was wrong about both of those.
Oh, Giannis.
A lot of these are comedies.
Not one of those two.
Toy Story is a comedy.
Inside Out is one of the saddest movies I've ever seen.
That's a comedy?
All right.
Secret Life of Pets?
We'll see everyone tomorrow.
Roofball. What the hell? Please like We'll see everyone tomorrow. Roofball!
What the hell? Please like and share the stream tomorrow. We want to get big, big numbers.
What is funny
about Inside Out? We'll be right back.