The Yak - We Get To the Bottom of The Gabbagool | The Yak 6-14-22

Episode Date: June 14, 2022

what happened to Tony?You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Oh, I'm late. I'm late. Someone start the show while I tweet everything. I'm late. It's the Yak Barstool Big Cat. Little Sasquatch. KB no swag.
Starting point is 00:00:35 Kate. Kate, what do you what do you hold? OK, what do you got? What do you got? Oh, I'm so glad that you asked. And Owen. And Owen. And myself.
Starting point is 00:00:44 KB cut me off. And I have been working on my arms this summer. So I have this sick yak tank top that I will be wearing down the Jersey Shore next week on family vacation. I really hit home why women should also buy this. Well, can I tell you, side boob is the hot thing this summer. I have it. And seat up. Seat up.
Starting point is 00:01:04 I'm big on that. I have under boob as well. Seat belt boob is have it. Seatbelt boob. I'm big on that. I have under boob as well. Seatbelt boob is goaded. Seatbelt boob. Seatbelt boob. There's something about just seeing a woman with a seatbelt on.
Starting point is 00:01:14 I think it's a part of the responsibility factor. Yeah. That's why guys like moms as well. It's just like, wow. It cuts the titties and make them both look bigger. Oh, is that what it is?
Starting point is 00:01:22 I thought it was a safety. No. No, it makes the titties larger. No, I was in an Uber with Kyle, and we had a female driver, and he growled the entire way all the way down to Gold Street. It was Persian smooch. Is that a Persian smooch? She's big on TikTok now.
Starting point is 00:01:38 She does nothing in particular. She just big tits, big ass. Oh, yeah. That's something. KB, have you slept? I got five hours. Let's go. Let's go. Give, yeah. That's something. KB, have you slept? I got five hours. Let's go. Let's go.
Starting point is 00:01:48 Let's give it up. Let's give it up. Thank you for everyone. I see advice. Yeah. I think I just crashed because it was inevitable. Did you try Unisom? I did.
Starting point is 00:01:56 I got that. Didn't try it. Tonight you will. Tonight my gummies? I kept saying put your phone in a different room. Charge it in a different room. Yeah, but that's your TV, too. I don't understand. I'm saying put your phone in a different room Charge it in a different room Yeah but that's your TV too I don't understand
Starting point is 00:02:07 I'm mobile Are you still on the Sopranos kick? No I still love it Big Cat you follow Gabagoolgram? Oh yeah You know she works here What?
Starting point is 00:02:22 That's Tara over in branding That's her account Wait She runs Gabagoolgram Wait's her account. What is that? Wait. She runs Gabagoolgram. Wait, get her in here. Tara is a beast, but she's awesome. Gabagool. She runs Gabagoolgram?
Starting point is 00:02:33 Can you pull up Gabagoolgram, please? Gabagoolgram? It's just basically screenshots of Sopranos. Oh, yeah. This is a big account, yeah. By the way. Good screenshot. Genius move.
Starting point is 00:02:44 I saw on Twitter account the other day that was just every second of Goodfellas. Like a picture from every second. There's nothing that can give you like a quick dopamine rush and just seeing a scene of one of your favorite movies. And be like, oh yeah, I saw that movie. I don't even need a caption. Right. You're just like, yeah. Every account that is just a show or movie and then no context.
Starting point is 00:03:07 Yeah. Right. There's some accounts. Trailer Park Boys. I love it. Trailer Park Boys. I can watch every still image of that show and look at it and laugh. There's an account I'm pretty sure that on Twitter that's like a bot account,
Starting point is 00:03:18 and I think they're doing every single screen cap from every single episode and scene of Spongebob. Really? You run Gobble Goolgram? That's Gobble Goolgram. What a small world, huh? Since when? You started or someone passed
Starting point is 00:03:40 down the reins? No, it's my Instagram page. I started with my brother. Gobble Goolgram is genius. What, hit me down? What Instagram page. I started with my brother. Gobble Goo Graham is genius. What, hit me down? What a small world. So you know Barstool owns it now. Yeah. Look at this.
Starting point is 00:03:52 Like, go down. We're going to be running ads. Like, there's Christopher sitting on the dog when he's strung out on heroin. Yeah. Well, the dog crawled under his ass for warmth. You have merch? We do have merch. Julia Fox.
Starting point is 00:04:04 Julia Fox follows it. Julia Fox does follow us. What? Let's get the... Uncut Gems? We should. Not today. You don't have merch.
Starting point is 00:04:12 Say you don't have merch. She doesn't have merch. Not today. No, no, no. Today, say you don't. It's a big 4th of July place. I don't have merch. Uncut Gems?
Starting point is 00:04:18 Is that Julia Fox? The whole world's gone crazy. Yeah, that's... Yeah. Yeah, how's KB's impression? That's Julia Fox. The whole world's gone crazy. That's that's Julia. Yeah. Yeah, how's KB's impression? That's Julia Fox. The whole world's gone crazy. That's pretty good.
Starting point is 00:04:27 Saw some woman in Pennsylvania. All I ever had. Wait, so how, just walk me through like one or two posts of like, what am I thinking? Like, go back, TJ. Scroll, wait, scroll down, scroll down on the right side. Keep scrolling. Keep scrolling. Keep scrolling. I saw side. Keep scrolling. Keep scrolling. Keep scrolling.
Starting point is 00:04:47 I saw one. Keep scrolling. There, right there. Yeah, what's that? What did you decide? Why did you decide to do that? Well, do you know this scene? No, explain it to me.
Starting point is 00:04:59 Let me see it. I've never seen the show. You've never seen the show? I'm just fucking kidding. Okay, you just want me to explain this specific scene? This is a prank. But, I mean, this is him giving a blowjob to the security guard at the construction site. And then gets caught.
Starting point is 00:05:14 He gets caught. Yeah. And he's like, you didn't see anything. You didn't see anything. Yeah. So the joke is that he gets caught, but it's April Fool's. Okay, so this is. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:23 This is. He's got a Google. I love this i love these accounts they just give me like that feeling of like oh yeah i remember that yeah well thank you for following yeah i've been following for a while i didn't know that you worked like i didn't know the person behind gabagool gram worked in this office it's my hidden alter ego it's my like jersey hannah montana kind of vibes well shit now shit. But now I'm revealed. It's okay. Yeah, what the fuck?
Starting point is 00:05:46 I did, yeah. I found out this morning. That's how long I kept it a secret. A couple hours. So what's next for Gobble Ghoul, Graham? Well, we're looking for partners. Stick with what? You got you an intern?
Starting point is 00:05:58 Yeah, I would love an intern. Glennie could be the intern. Glennie would be a great intern. He'd be a great intern. Yeah. No? Okay. He was an umpire. He can run fast. He can run fast. He is the one who found out that Julia Fox followed us.
Starting point is 00:06:12 I didn't even know. Of course he did. That's a perfect Glennie Venn diagram. His horniness and the Sopranos. He's like, oh, Glennie is Liam Neeson. He's got a particular set of skills. Any hot chicks that are interested in the Sopranos
Starting point is 00:06:28 into Italian culture he will find you and track you down okay that's it I mean I love Gobblegool Graham follow Gobblegool Graham I'm sure you had a part in putting a tracking device in my backpack I want to clear this up because
Starting point is 00:06:44 that's not true. Which part? You didn't have a part? I didn't have a part. So you admit that there was a tracking device. There was a tracking device, but I didn't know it was in your backpack. Who bought it? I did buy the tracking device. How do you not know? What was the point of the purchase?
Starting point is 00:06:59 I mixed being really quiet because I think it was him. And look at him smiling because he's blaming was him it was him do it but he wasn't and look at him smiling because he's blaming me and I've it was him it was accidentally and I want to clear my name because there was three tracking devices that I put on in barcelona versus america on the keys because last year the keys got lost of the rv I'm at the equivalent of a key so what they were on the keys and I and when I when nick was first on the show on bvm when he started i trusted him a lot more than i do now and i gave him the key to his bus and i said can
Starting point is 00:07:33 you put this on on the keys for your bus and he's like sure and somehow that air tag got lost and how do you lose that that was what i was. You said, I didn't know the tracking device was in your backpack. Isn't it a tracking device? So we were all kind of in the same place, so it kept saying we were in the same area. Got it. But I couldn't find the tag, and I gave it to Nick, and then when we came back, I had all the tags but one, and I wasn't looking at it, but it kept going places. I didn't know who had it.
Starting point is 00:08:04 Kept on going to lobbies of hotels. didn't know who had it. Kept on going to lobbies of hotels. Didn't know who had it. Never sleeping. And I didn't know you had it. I could make a smooth 40K off of suing you for sex crime. I didn't look, I swear, but you put it in his act. I'll spoil the entire show unless you give me a good reason why I was stressed. I wasn't.
Starting point is 00:08:19 I'll spoil the entire show. I'd like to introduce you to KB. He is the owner of Gobble Ghoul Graham. Yes, KB does it right now. I will take it. It will be a good consolation. I will take it. My boy got that whole surprise.
Starting point is 00:08:33 He's being real quiet now. He brought me in here. He put the air tag in here. I bugged Kyle. It was me that bugged Kyle. You didn't buy the tracking device and you didn't have the... There's a Gobble Ghoulgram. I'll co-own it.
Starting point is 00:08:44 Let me just have the password reply to the DMs. Never. I won't post. No. Let him DM Julia Fox once. You're going to let him reply to DMs? Absolutely not. She said no.
Starting point is 00:08:53 I didn't do anything with the device. I was doing a good job. By the way, do you think off topic, but kind of on topic, tacos and titties, is that competition or... I doubt it. How many followers do you guys have? Like 72. More than Persian Smoochie doubt it. How many followers do you guys have? Like 72. More than Persian Smoochie.
Starting point is 00:09:08 How much does Persian Smoochie have? I don't even know. All right, so she has 72K. Tacos and Titties is another friend of the program. Where's Tacos and Titties at? They have like 4K. Tacos and Titties. 6,811.
Starting point is 00:09:18 Oh, wow. We got to really bump Tacos and Titties. Puppy Melons has like over 100K. Wow. I swear you're in the pocket of Puppy Melons. Every time we're talking, they are a friend. Those guys are friends of the program. Is there a seatbelt tits?
Starting point is 00:09:31 That's a good logo. We should start that. We started a seatbelt titty age. Yeah, Puppy Melons really popped off. I wonder why. I don't. I have equity. What if
Starting point is 00:09:45 Gabagoolgram hits 100k What's our cut Oh we can get Let's get them up Everybody gets an air tag You have enough No seatbelt titties We should make
Starting point is 00:09:56 I don't think you can use titties in the Try seatbelt melons Ocos and titties is an account we were just talking about That's very true That is true That is very true Unless they and titties is an account we were just talking about. That's very true. That is true. That is very true. Unless they spelled titties with a lowercase l. Probably two d's if I had to guess.
Starting point is 00:10:11 Titties, yeah. What if we did maybe a crossover, seatbelt and gabagool, and it was just Italians with seatbelts on? Like that, too. I love that. Although Italians don't wear seatbelts, I don't think. I think it does need to be a crossover page. So it needs to be seatbelt titties and something else.
Starting point is 00:10:26 Probably a food. Oh, here we go, seatbelt titties. Look at this. Let's boost notes. I'm going to follow. The first one is wrong. I don't want it resting over one. It has to split in the middle.
Starting point is 00:10:37 Yeah, I still caught them, yeah. When was the last time they posted? When was the last time they posted? Can we check the date on that? May 2nd, okay. They're still a little active. When was the last time they posted? Yeah, they're all wrong. Can we check the date on that? May 2nd. Okay. Okay. They're still a little active.
Starting point is 00:10:48 What are the hashtags? Oh, oh, try, um. Huge boobs. Okay, so r slash traffic hits is tangentially related to. 36D. Not quite. It's got to be a little demoralizing when you're typing those hashtags in manually. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:05 D, D, 36, D, sexy, beautiful, mega titties. Huge boobs. I don't use hashtags. Ever? Organic growth. Not really. I'm not about that. Okay.
Starting point is 00:11:17 Do you ever pay for promotion? Never. So, not even. Have you done any cross promotion with like, fuck Jerry? No, there's just another Sopranos Instagram that Sometimes It's like the Avengers No they invited me to Tony's house and I couldn't go
Starting point is 00:11:32 I was really upset Yeah Glennie's been I didn't get to go Couldn't you go? I was down the Jersey Shore which feels kind of on brand For the whole thing but Yeah that's the only excuse that flies When invited to Tony Soprano's house. Okay.
Starting point is 00:11:48 Well, thank you. Thank you, Tara. Thank you for following. First Yak appearance, Tara. Thank you for having me. Part of the show now. Thank you. Perfect.
Starting point is 00:11:56 We submit this entire anthology to the Library of Congress. That's right. Tara will be in it. She was pissed at me. She's pissed at me. She's pissed at me. Can we see seatbelt boobs again?
Starting point is 00:12:08 Yeah, pull up seatbelt boobs. Let's run that back. DJ's worried about scrolling. You can tell. You can't post nudity. You've got a very scared scroll. I don't think you can post nudity on here. We've showed Titty once on this show when we were watching Robocop. I blame Patty the Batty for that.
Starting point is 00:12:24 Wait, can you... Why are you being so shy, buddy? See, this isn't it. I think this is all the same. Oh my god, is this all one person that runs this? This isn't it. Oh, there it is. That's it. There's one.
Starting point is 00:12:37 No, there's two. No, there's three. Look at the red one. The red shirt. The point is you don't need cleavage. That's what the point of the seatbelt is. Oh, it's just a t-shirt. You don't need big tits even for that. Not even.
Starting point is 00:12:49 This is why I always put my seatbelt behind me. What's the equivalent for guys in this? Is it like when guys skydive and have to wear the harness? Yeah. Bungee jump? Bungee jumping bulge? I don't know. Rock climbing.
Starting point is 00:13:02 Is it rock climbing? Rock climbing. Or football pants? I feel like that. Rock climbing. Or football pants. I feel like that's a big one. Football pants is a big one. For some. Just short shorts, like those silky kind of shorts that guys are starting to wear.
Starting point is 00:13:14 You can see runner shorts. Vibs probably has a bunch of those. That's more of a reflection game. It's a light trickery kind of thing. I just looked at the screen and Kate, you're wearing that tank top over your head. It's a reflection game. It's a light trickery kind of thing. I just looked at the screen and, Kate, you're wearing that tank top over your head. It's probably pushing a lot of merch.
Starting point is 00:13:34 Sales begins to drop of this shirt horribly. People are refunding. They're asking for refunds. Oh, that's what it looks like? I had Stephen Chay in my dream last night. Oh, no. Doing what? We were being chased by security guards in a stadium,
Starting point is 00:13:53 and I just woke up, and I was just bummed out. Was I the security guard? No, you and I were going. We were running. Brothers in arms. Yes. This is the bummer part. Admitting crimes. I thought long and hard about not bringing it up.
Starting point is 00:14:04 The worst part about it was you were having a blast. Yeah, we were laughing. Yeah. Sweet. Yeah, I don't know. Because running from security guards is fun. It is fun. You're with Che.
Starting point is 00:14:15 We should do that. Were we hopping fences? No, we were, like, sliding down a ramp. Oh, that's pretty sick. Yeah, it was almost like a mental hospital. Maybe I was breaking you out. Probably. Yeah. Chief Wigwam, is that the guy's name? Oh, that's pretty sick. Yeah, it was almost like a mental hospital. Maybe I was breaking you out. Probably. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:26 Chief Wigwam, is that the guy's name? Oh, yeah. One flew over the cougar's nest. There you go. Yeah. So that's my bummer of a story of the day. Sorry. All right.
Starting point is 00:14:35 So that's actually, Kyle, why you shouldn't sleep. Right. Because you might dream about sleeping shit. My dreams have been awful. You've been burnt out. My dreams have just been the worst aspects of my life. It's like me, like, DMing someone who hates me
Starting point is 00:14:49 and telling them to kill themselves. And then, like, they press charges. Those are your dreams every night? Go find them in Vermont. Your dreams are just the U.S. court system? Yeah, just me getting
Starting point is 00:15:04 in legal trouble. Damn. I think we should pick you out of vacation live on the Yak right now. Ooh, I like that. Can we do the spin the globe? Do you have a passport? Oh, time out, time out, time out. Not to be a creep. Yeah, that's first Victoria's Secret trans model.
Starting point is 00:15:19 Really? Oh. Stunning. Is that a show? That's what Pat told me. He could be lying, but that's what they told me he could be lying but that's what they told me super tall 6'5 maybe well yeah
Starting point is 00:15:30 I didn't say anything about that no I know but super tall person right got it wow you're really tall that was an impressive realization. That's what I said when the mics were off in here. I said, wow, that's really tall.
Starting point is 00:15:51 Penn's about to hire you for recruiting. Oh, man. Oh, man. Jesus Christ. Oh, Jay. Friend to all. Where are we going to go on vacation? Where are you going to pick up a vacation?
Starting point is 00:16:09 Let's do it. I don't need a fucking vacation. Oh, yeah, you do. I've been sleep deprived because I've been so excited with life. I've been running on adrenaline. That's not true. That's not true at all. Having nightmares.
Starting point is 00:16:19 What are you excited about right now? Life's been exciting. Yeah? I'm constantly traveling and, you know, visiting new places. It's fun. You guys are jaded because everyone around us does more exciting things or equally exciting things. Yeah. But compared to the layperson, very exciting.
Starting point is 00:16:37 Huh. Unless you don't want to do that kind of thing. Right. I do. You mean you're traveling against your will? Not. Ever? Enjoy it, yeah
Starting point is 00:16:46 Every second No, but it's Yeah, it's good Wouldn't you like a vacation Or going somewhere Where you don't have to do something? I don't know Why don't you put
Starting point is 00:16:57 To be honest It'd be kind of cool What if we did like GeoGuessr in real life? Drop you off somewhere Blindfold you Put you on a plane, and you gotta figure it out.
Starting point is 00:17:08 Be a good segment. Awesome. As soon as you figure it out, we send you back. Yeah, get back. As soon as you read what airport you're in, you get back on the plane.
Starting point is 00:17:16 Very swiftly. Yeah. You think. Mm-hmm. All right, so where do you want to go? I want to spin them. The point is you wouldn't tell me. Do you have a passport?
Starting point is 00:17:29 I want to go to one of the maritime provinces of Canada. Newfoundland? Yeah. Okay. St. John's. You need to get a passport. Yeah. Easy.
Starting point is 00:17:45 Check. Consider. Check. Consider it done. Let's look up things to do in Newfoundland. Consider it done. You'll see some Newfies. You got a hotel. You got a blueberry festival, I believe, in August. Oh, how'd you know that?
Starting point is 00:17:57 Don't worry about it. Oh! Don't fucking worry about it. Have you been? I haven't. So how do you know? Don't worry about it. I mean, now I have to worry about it. How was your? I haven't. So how do you know? Don't worry about it. I mean, now I have to
Starting point is 00:18:05 worry about it. How was your wedding? It was good. Anything crazy? Don't have any bugs on them? Oh, man. Was there any Che heads? I did get approached a couple times,
Starting point is 00:18:21 which was flattering. You did? I did, yeah. Took a couple pictures. Nice. People at the wedding. Yeah. That's nice. Shout out to Ryan Madden. That's got to feel cool. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:31 The wedding I was at, we were watching the game, and there was like 30 dudes watching the game, and every time they showed Dave, they were like, there's Portnoy, and then look at me. And I'm like, yep. That's the equivalent of when you're in school And somebody has the same name as you in a book This is crazy Like there's Dave again Still in his seat
Starting point is 00:18:52 It's a two and a half hour game So how the fuck do you know Blueberry Fest in Newfoundland? My wife has family there You part Canadian? By sex? No. Some of it gets on you. No, I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:19:13 Are your kids Asian-Canadian? Maybe. I don't know. You're trying to talk me into it. Do you not know what your wife is? I do, but I don't know who's from where. Is her grandfather? Where was he from?
Starting point is 00:19:29 Boots on the ground? I don't know. I know his ethnicity. You don't know? Who lives in Canada? My wife's great-uncle. He listed. He's like, my wife's aunt, uncle,
Starting point is 00:19:46 mother, father. Born and raised. I guess she is too. It's like my mother-in-law's cousins. Probably not. Probably not Canadian. Yeah. There's actually a delightful Broadway play, Come From Away. It's about Newfoundland.
Starting point is 00:20:01 What voice is that? I don't know what he's adopting. I've seen it. It's actually Newfoundland. What voice is that? I don't know what he's adopting. I've seen it. He's actually a delightful guy. Is it about the Blueberry Fest? It's not. It's about September 11th, so KB, you could take an interest in it. Whoa! Wow.
Starting point is 00:20:16 Is it a play about the Canadians' perspective of September 11th? During September 11th, a bunch of planes had to get rerouted to the whatever the New Finland airport is. And then what happened? They got stranded there. They got stranded there and then became homies. Oh. I'm pretty sure planes everywhere around the world were rerouted.
Starting point is 00:20:39 I think a very large amount got sent to this area, which is a very small airport, Gander. My cousin actually used to work at the Gander airport. Whoa. Your cousin, your wife's cousin? No, my actual cousin. What the
Starting point is 00:20:53 fuck? Everything comes back. You have so many ties. Everyone you know lives in Newfoundland. Have you ever been there? I have not. They're super cool. I mean, Blueberry Fest looks awesome. All of the, yeah, like the PEI guys, super cool. What's PEI?
Starting point is 00:21:10 The Prince Edward Island fellas. Yeah. That's who they are. That is what we call them. That was cunty. That was so cunty of you. I didn't want to say all those words, but yeah, they're all cool. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:19 They've also got the New Finland dogs, which are like the cutest dogs ever. Yeah, but don't they die when they're like six? They die young, yeah. And they have the best flag, right? Do they? What? Hey, I don't know. Newfoundland?
Starting point is 00:21:30 Sure, I believe their time zone's kind of funky. I think they're like an hour and a half ahead of us. How can that be real? I think so. No. Someone just texted me inviting me to Halifax. Okay, that's...
Starting point is 00:21:42 First off, how does everyone have my... Did my number re-leak? My phone is just random numbers. And that's to the point where I'm ignoring everyone, even my loved ones. Wait, Newfoundland? Okay, we got to deal with that, KB. That seems like it's bad.
Starting point is 00:21:57 Shit sucks. Yeah, that flag's terrible. That's like a deconstructed flag. Better than the American one. That's like a... It's a little ph than the American one. That's like a... It's a little phallic. Oh, no, the Isle of Man has a good flag, I think. Just a dude?
Starting point is 00:22:10 Yeah. That's what the fucking yak used to be until Kate came around. Oh, the Newfoundland tricolor. That's pretty shitty. That's weird adding pink. That's just gay Irish. Gay Irish.
Starting point is 00:22:25 Here we go. Newfoundland standard time is 3.30 hours behind coordinated. Thank you, sir. What was it? The time zone is in use during standard time. They have half hour time zones there. Isn't it just an hour ahead of us or no? Local time differs by 30 minutes
Starting point is 00:22:46 Instead of normal How is that possible? It should be That would be so annoying It's more east than I think the eastern part of the US Yeah, I know that But how could they do
Starting point is 00:22:55 How could they do half? That would be enraging Is that a new time zone? You can do any time zone you want Arizona just doesn't change Yeah, they don't change Yeah, but at least they go by the hour Yeah, what's the difference? Yeah, but at least they go by the hour.
Starting point is 00:23:06 Yeah, what's the difference? We're splitting U.S. states in half. Oh, I know. You can just go down the road and like... You drive in Indiana? An hour late. Yeah. Fuck. There are people...
Starting point is 00:23:17 I would love to interview someone who lives and works in a different time zone. That would be crazy. Yeah. A lot, probably. That definitely exists. Yeah, if you go from like Gary to South Bend, right? Isn't that. Yeah, a lot probably. That definitely exists. Yeah, if you go from like Gary to South Bend, right? Yeah, I mean Indianapolis is like... Or like Tallahassee to Pensacola.
Starting point is 00:23:32 I don't know. That would be weird. I don't know how you would like... I bet you a lot of people would like move to the other side so they get like an extra hour of sleep. Is that how it would work? I don't know. I don't think.
Starting point is 00:23:42 No, I don't think. Now I'm confused. We're time traveling. A tiny bit. Wouldn't you want to come home? Wouldn't you want to gain the hour when you come home after work? So you can leave the office at 5 and it's 4? I mean, eventually, no matter what, it's going to catch up with you.
Starting point is 00:23:59 So what happens if you work from home? Yeah, true. I want to take a sick day. Then you got heads in the office. You got heads in the office. You got heads in the office. Coordinate a Zoom meeting. You're like, oh, you have to constantly be like, oh, I meant central time, guy. Constantly.
Starting point is 00:24:13 Imagine happy hour bouncing, though. You go to one bar and then you get another happy hour. That would be awesome. Driving drunk. That would be a good video. You get wasted, drive to the next bar. Yeah. If you're going across time zones, it's not drunk.
Starting point is 00:24:24 No, no, no. It's sober zone. It rewinds the time. Yeah But if you're going across time zones It's not drunk No no no It's sober zone It rewinds Yeah that's That was at At four o'clock You weren't drunk Wait what is it seven
Starting point is 00:24:30 I wasn't drunk at seven Yeah At the last bar I was sober at seven That would probably fuck up Some like Investigations Some dude just bouncing around
Starting point is 00:24:40 Time zones every day Where were you at seven o'clock Yeah I was two places Murdered two people bouncing around time zones every day. Where were you at 7 o'clock? Yeah. That was two places. Murdered two people. I've seen way more suspenseful detective thrillers about time zones. Time zone detectives.
Starting point is 00:24:54 Oh, that's awesome. Murdering two people at 7 o'clock would be a good premise for a movie. How'd you murder two people at 7 o'clock? That's for you to find out. Oh, like a time zone? Oh. That's the whole movie. How'd you murder two people at 7 o'clock? That's for you to find out. Oh, like a time zone? That's the whole movie. Wait, you figured it out that fast?
Starting point is 00:25:11 Shit. Time zone killer? Two and a half hours of suspense. Maybe it wouldn't be a good idea. I mean, if they're a shitty idea. They'd have to be like the worst detective. Yeah. It makes no sense he lives literally on the yeah like you live right there you've known your whole life yeah figure it out um should we spin the wheel yeah by the way go to birddogs.com use promo code
Starting point is 00:25:41 yak birddogs.com promo code yak and they'll throw in a free Bird Dogs Yeti Tumbler. They found Yeti's $90 Tumbler, copied it, and now Bird Dogs is giving it to you for free. That's a lot of value. That's Bird Dogs. Promo code YAK. And boom, a free Bird Dogs Tumbler with your pair of Bird Dogs. You will not take these things off. I promise you, I wear Bird Dogs all the time.
Starting point is 00:26:04 The most comfortable. TJ, can you pull up that gift that was just sent to us? Look how sick this is. Look at this. Oh, come on. Not this again. No, no, no. Wait. Look at that.
Starting point is 00:26:23 What the fuck? Oh my god. That's wrong. That is insane. That's so sick. I don't even know how Quicks found that. Oh my god. Did he find it or make it?
Starting point is 00:26:34 That is fucking crazy. Yeah. Did Quicks make that? No, somebody sent it. Oh, really? I think whoever sent it should be fired. Did Quicks make this? State your name. My mind is blown. Oh, Quicks made it. It's gotta be fired. Did Quigs make this? State your name.
Starting point is 00:26:45 My mind is blown. Quigs made it. It's got to be Quigs. Quigs is a genius. That is fucking crazy. It's unbelievable. I did not expect that. All right, so this is these shirts.
Starting point is 00:26:55 It's Roan. Yeah, it adds another layer of list to the shirt. Roan. Quigs could be like curing diseases. What a waste of a brain I know How long did that take him to make? Probably 10 seconds
Starting point is 00:27:10 If I had literally a year I wouldn't be able to make that Yeah you would be able to I think No You were given instructions Not finding it at the top I think we're so used to being surrounded by dumb really dumb people working here
Starting point is 00:27:28 Quiggs is even more yeah he's definitely yeah if he went to he could be working for like Pixar he did work for NASA didn't he yeah he did
Starting point is 00:27:37 yeah oh okay what's his degree pretty big one it's like aerospace cool shit engineering or something yeah
Starting point is 00:27:43 doing dope shit do you think he looks at all of us like oh yeah 100% also do you know Quigs I have a story that can really throw him under the bus I think he would be fine with it get Quigs in here
Starting point is 00:27:59 if he wants to tell it I would tell it if it were me if it were me I would tell it before Quigs gets in here do you know also Quigs also. I would tell it if it were me. I know this story. Yeah, if it were me, I would tell it. Before Quigs gets in here, do you know also Quigs believes that he's living in a simulation? Yeah, he doesn't think any of us are real. Yeah, he thinks we're all actors in his life. That's fair.
Starting point is 00:28:14 I think that's probably his, like, sleep deprivation. Doesn't he sleep for, like, an hour a week? But, like, if you would bring it up to him, he's like, yeah, I know you guys are, like, this is all, like, coordinated against me. He said he studied religions, theologies, simulations. That's what he believes most. And, yeah, that when he, like, this is all like coordinated against me. He said he studied religions, theologies, simulations. That's what he believes most. And yeah, that when he like leaves a room that we're in, we're gone.
Starting point is 00:28:32 Yeah, like take out a cigarette being like, great scene, guys. Yeah. Like right now, you guys remember we got the script this morning. We're like, bring Quigs in here. I think, KB, I think Quigs has told this story on the act. Oh, was I not here? No, I don't think he has. Which one? It was, I think, Wedding? Yeah, I think the KB, I think Quigs has told this story on the act. Oh, was I not here? No, I don't think he has. Which one?
Starting point is 00:28:47 It was, I think, Wedding? Yeah, I think the rear one. I wasn't here then. Oh, then yeah, then don't retell it. Hasn't he? There he is. Maybe he has me. All right, wait, wait.
Starting point is 00:28:56 Everyone get your lines ready. Get your lines ready. Hey, hiya, Quigs. Hey, Quigs. Hey, man. Here, come sit down. Come sit down. That's the outfit you were supposed to wear today.
Starting point is 00:29:05 Do you think that this is a curveball that the scriptwriters threw at you to bring you on today? No. Wait, that's real? Do you believe that? You're in the Truman Show? Yeah, a little bit. It gets weird
Starting point is 00:29:22 when you like... Well, it's like I kind of think I'm the only real person. Correct. In the world. Which I've never seen Truman Show, but... Right. Like, when you leave a room that we're in, we'll be like, break character and be like,
Starting point is 00:29:39 wow, we got a match. No, we don't exist. We don't exist at all? We're like code. You're like... It gets weird when I talk to people who are like... Absolutely. Part of my life. Right. It's kind of like I don't exist. We don't exist at all? We're like code. You're like, it gets weird when I talk to people who are like part of my life. Right. It's kind of like I don't believe you're real, but.
Starting point is 00:29:50 You don't believe I'm real. I mean, it's extremely, extremely vain, but it's sort of that everyone like revolt, like you're only on earth to be like a part of my life. Yeah, your life. I mean, it's fucking. Which is great. And it to be like a part of my life. Yeah, your life. I mean, it's fucking wacky. And it's not like a daily. Psychotic narcissism disorder? It's definitely just all comes back to being like very vain, I guess. But it's like not in that way to where it's like I don't care.
Starting point is 00:30:20 Yeah, no, I get it. I never thought you don't care. But I also think like you're smart enough that you might be right. that's what i'm scared yeah now it's kind of freaking me it all like breaks down to what like life is to where it's like there's like i get rewarded for being nice to people and i get rewarded for like that's fucking i it benefits like my life to have friends be nice. Right. But do you not want to do that? No, I do.
Starting point is 00:30:52 I mean, it all breaks down to what actual life is. Right. I just can't comprehend you guys going home and having thoughts. Oh, thoughts. No, I turn my brain off. What about a potential wife and kids? Are those sentient beings or just carcasses of flesh and bones? Like when you're hooking up with a chick do you think you're just your actual
Starting point is 00:31:09 body somewhere in a tube? It's not like an active thought. It's just like a... Every now and then? Sort of. I mean when you like step back. But it gets weird where it's like I mean I don't think like my parents are real. Yeah. You answer that. I'm open for real. Yeah. You answer that.
Starting point is 00:31:25 I'm open for this. Yeah. Does it help you mentally, you think? I think that's a healthy mindset. Because, like, that is the thing. It, like, all breaks down to, like, what real life is. Like, I don't, like, I don't treat people differently and, like, stuff like that to where it's, like, I'm the only one. But you are i
Starting point is 00:31:45 think it's just me not being able to like conceptualize like i guess object permanence or whatever it's like if they're not visual visibly in front of me like yeah they're not i don't they're not existing yeah what about when you like watch a game on tv that's not happening physically in front of you like do i do I think, like, the players are real? Yeah. Because, like, you're not watching it live. Yeah, but it's not... It's, like, almost
Starting point is 00:32:14 like as if I think, if you're not in my sight, like, you just, like, shut down. Right! Except for, like, when you tweet, like, that's, like, you're not even necessarily doing that. It's just, like, showing off. It's just a robot, yeah. To give, like, me entertainment tweet, like that's like you're not even necessarily doing that. It's just like a robot. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:27 Give like me entertainment, stuff like that. Whoa. Yeah. It's heavy. Now that I'm thinking about it, I can't recall a single memory that doesn't have you in it. Yeah. No, I mean, it is extremely like self-centered. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:43 It's probably going to like backfire on me one day where I just go insane. How long did it take you to make that gift? 15 minutes. Fuck. How long do you think it would take all of us in this room if we all worked together? I don't even know what that is. When do you think we could figure that out and have it be done? Well, side characters aren't allowed to do the main quest.
Starting point is 00:33:05 Like with no help. No help. No help. All of our brains together. And you can use like YouTube and stuff. You could probably do it in four or five hours. No way. I would never even think to check the basketball video.
Starting point is 00:33:20 You can work your way around like Adobe. Nick could. Maybe. Someone tip you off? Owen could. Did someone say that looked like Roan? No.
Starting point is 00:33:29 How did you recall that? I didn't. I was like, I was just trying to promote the merch. It's a basketball logo. Let's think, when did the Yak guys
Starting point is 00:33:36 play basketball? And then you saw that. I was planning on using the video in some capacity and then it got to that frame and I was like, that's basically the same layout.
Starting point is 00:33:48 And then it matched up almost perfectly. And then I just like moved the arms of the skeleton a little bit. Did you tell your wedding story when me and Kyle were out? Yeah, I think I've told it on there. Oh, okay. You shit yourself. I shit on myself. Tell it again, Rob. Oh, yeah, we've done this it was uh it was a indian wedding it was half indian half not native american yeah it was the curry no no no it wasn't
Starting point is 00:34:14 it was we were just getting ready i mean that's a fair question well yeah it is that it is that type yeah yeah i think it was like coffee or something i just had to take a shit it was it was in the morning before the wedding we're like getting ready and we have to put on our like Indian outfit called like a kurta, which I've never worn, believe it or not. And it's like a very long shirt, like down to like your calf and then these pants, which we all like, I guess when we size them, they just didn't fit anybody. Like, they were very tight. So it took me, like, 20 minutes.
Starting point is 00:34:51 Oh, man. You're, like, nine feet tall in that photo? I think we went wide angle. But the pants took forever. They would just get to a point on the calf, wouldn't get on. So I had to take a shit. We have, like, the groom suite. And I'm more focused on, like like getting my pants off to a point where i don't have to like restart putting them
Starting point is 00:35:11 back on and i just forget that my shirt is all the way so i take a shit i get up or i go i go to wipe and then i realized that my shirt was just in the toilet the entire time I was shitting. So you tried to take a shortcut while shitting. Never did that. But it wasn't like a shortcut. I don't have to make sure my shirt's not in the toilet today. What did you do? So there was a shower in the bathroom. Oh, this is good.
Starting point is 00:35:39 I love these. I love these stink on your feet. What were you going to do? What was your original, like... Like, worst case scenario, I was going to pretend that I fell in mud. So I was going to, like, go outside. It was kind of muddy.
Starting point is 00:35:51 And just, like, roll around. So you got dirtier? Because if I had shit on my back, I'd rather just be full of mud. And then it's like... Oh, who's this guy that's muddy and smells like shit? Yeah, it was a... If you look at it, it's, like, the perfect color. Muddy and smells like shit yeah it was a if you look at it it's like the perfect color to shit if you had a muddy guy that just shit himself there's a good color to shit on
Starting point is 00:36:13 it's even grosser who do you think who shit themselves i bet he was that muddy guy yeah but no it was it was a good material and color to shit on and get it out yeah definitely so is this pre or post this is pre okay but you had to take it off in the shower like you had to yeah that is where that's where like my memory like blacks out i don't know how i got it off of my body is there any it was like there's it was without getting more poop all over you so i guess i just like went over the back. But I was like panic station.
Starting point is 00:36:47 So I don't even remember. So you shit in the long shirt and it just like kind of tumbled. No, like it was so long that it was just like a bed for the shit to land. You were so. Oh, my God. He shit in your shirt. Yeah. Oh, I shit my shirt. wow oh i shit my shirt hey who shit my shirt
Starting point is 00:37:09 i was i was a mess that day and we had like we had um like a normal we not no i guess not normal a christian wedding as well um so we had like another just like a suit and tie and on the way in i had like brand new shoes and i guess they had oil on them or whatever. And my other shirt was just covered in black marks. I was a mess that whole time. So I pissed myself before the eighth grade state science fair at West Liberty State College. I remember you got second out of one. I did come in second out of one.
Starting point is 00:37:42 I didn't get enough points for the first place threshold. I was the only person in my category. That's how it worked. I pissed myself and I pretended I fell in a puddle outside. You then jumped in a puddle, you're saying? I pretended to fall in a puddle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did all that.
Starting point is 00:37:56 That's smart. I fell in a puddle. I was wearing corduroy, too, so it's not really horrible to piss yourself. I shit myself twice, I think, on the yak. One day when I was on the floor and then one in there when we were doing the yak podcast. And I realized that people don't care. No, you shit yourself once a year. That's fine.
Starting point is 00:38:11 People don't. If you just. I remember you also, like, I mean, you literally yesterday just put throw up in your pocket. Can you tell us about that? Yeah. No, I didn't. That's what I did. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:22 As a youth, I pooped myself walking into a Dick's Sporting Goods. Just a little nugget dropped out. Oh, yeah. I went to the bathroom to wipe, and then a few minutes later, somebody else came in to clean their shoes. And it was my poop. Oh. Oh. I loved how the Twitter detectives found KB's poop because they zoomed in on your fart.
Starting point is 00:38:41 And they saw the little poop. They were sending me paragraphs about why it was shit I was like yeah I shit myself yeah what do you want me to say that's what it was
Starting point is 00:38:50 I was hoping the next day we could make a whole episode if you did or not and then you just came clean yeah that pissed me off what do they call that turtle heading
Starting point is 00:38:57 it's like a moray eel that goes back in ooh moray eel yeah I think so I haven't shit myself since... I only shit myself once, and it was in eighth grade. Oh, brother, you have to.
Starting point is 00:39:09 You gotta shit yourself. You got to. I shit myself at one of my last jobs. Kate. I couldn't go, I know. War? No. Wait, what did you do aside from war?
Starting point is 00:39:22 I was working at Comedy Central. Oh, shit. And I was the assistant to the president of production there. And it was one of my first, it was like my first week there. And I like couldn't shit. So I took that like Phillips or whatever. And it didn't do anything. So I took more.
Starting point is 00:39:35 And then I'm at work the next day and she wasn't in her office. So I'm updating her board and I had to fart. And so I was like, nobody's in here. This is the spot to do it. And I farted. And like, you know when you pee out of your ass? Yeah. I like ass peed in my pants.
Starting point is 00:39:49 Wait, what did you take? Philips? Yeah. What is that? No free ads. But it's a stool softener. Oh, okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:57 So anyway, I had to go. I went to the handicapped bathroom. And then I had to like clean out my... I think handicapped bathrooms, yeah. There's a wet spot of the room. It was glorified pee. You can't get away with anything anymore. You can't fucking shit
Starting point is 00:40:15 himself on the internet and thrive at any point. Not a thing. I think handicap stalls are like 10% handicap people and 90% people that have shit themselves. If that's an option, I'm going in there. Yeah. Yep.
Starting point is 00:40:28 I shit myself before a haircut once, and I still got the haircut. I went and threw out my underwear in the bathroom at the haircut place and then got my haircut. Oh, good. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you gotta. You gotta. I think worse than that is when you forget to apply deodorant and you have body odor. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:42 At a public event where you don't have access to deodorant. I will do anything in my power to go. What do you do? Soap. Soap. So, yeah, it doesn't really work.
Starting point is 00:40:50 It doesn't really work, but it makes you feel good for a minute. Hand sanitizer does work. It burns. It burns a lot. Some sweaty people, too. That's tough.
Starting point is 00:40:59 All right, Quigs, well, you're the, you're the, you're genius. Thank you. You think we're all dumb? No. Okay. Now you're just saying that? Thank you. You think we're all dumb? No. You're just saying that?
Starting point is 00:41:07 You are. You think I'd fall for that because I'm dumb? He's trying to earn points right now. It's like making videos. Are you excited for the next case race? Yeah. We're going to tape it on a Monday and then run it on a Thursday. Oh, tons of time.
Starting point is 00:41:20 Tons of time. We're taping it on a Monday and then we have to go in on Tuesday? Oh, yeah. But I think we should tape it in the afternoon, which would be funnier. The show's on at 1. We're good. Yeah. Maybe we just tape it.
Starting point is 00:41:33 Oh, Brandon's show. So we'll tape it at Monday night. All right. Yeah, we're going to run the case race will happen the Thursday before July 4th, which will be our last show for like a week and a half. Because we have July 4th week off. What day is that Monday that we're filming? Two weeks from yesterday.
Starting point is 00:41:53 Okay, cool. Yeah. Very excited. And is Shane coming in? I think so. 27th. That's fucking awesome. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:00 We'll have to figure out teams. Maybe Shane goes with KB. Coins? Oh, yeah. Coins should be live. I hate teams. Maybe Shane goes with KB. Coins? Oh, yeah. Coins should be live. I don't want you to hate me. What? Those coins are heavy.
Starting point is 00:42:09 Coins are awesome. So it's nice, though, that they're so heavy because it's a nuisance for the people to carry around to kiss us. Yes. Yes. So the coins are going to be live. We'll put them in. We'll edit in a time during the case race. Maybe we'll have it be random, TJ, where it's like an alarm that you set.
Starting point is 00:42:27 And the coins will just be live at that point in the case race. How many do we have? 250? Yeah. And people can just go buy them. And if you get one... Are they live right now? No. Case race.
Starting point is 00:42:38 It's a race. Okay, okay. All right, we should spin the wheel because if it's a problem, it's a problem. There. That makes sense We have to get wet Yeah t-shirts are available Up to 6x7
Starting point is 00:42:53 Sorry for yawning there Boys Fucking Thank god People are gonna be very upset People are gonna be so mad People are gonna be so pissed But you know what
Starting point is 00:43:02 This is the best part about the wheel Because If you remember If I could go back in time two months ago, people were like, fucking wet is so stupid. So played. Now, next time we get wet, it's going to be incredible. I think we have to spin again. I think we're going to get wet.
Starting point is 00:43:17 Oh, we'll reset. We do spin. We'll reset. We spin again on this show. What? Yeah, we always have. That's how it always works. You reset and then you spin.
Starting point is 00:43:25 That's the official spin I think we might be missing a dry God that looks good but this is the wheel we're going to land it's going to land on wet no no no don't say that
Starting point is 00:43:39 yeah oh yeah oh yeah that feels good. Throw a couple more in just for fun. I think we didn't have one wet that whole wheel. We've done two wheel resets without a wet. Really? Yeah. I think the last time somebody got wet was the hamburger draft.
Starting point is 00:44:01 Yeah. Greedy boy. Yeah, it was. And we got soaked. So soaked. Two greedy boy. We got soaked. Two greedy boys. So soaked. There we go. Wow, nice.
Starting point is 00:44:16 A little symmetry. Move it around. Let's get this over with. Spin it, spin it. It's a juicy wheel now. Oh my god. Oh my it's a juicy wheel now. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:44:28 Let's eat, boys. Food wheel. All right. Spin the food wheel. Food wheel is kind of a pain in the ass. Yeah, it is. Oh, for me, because it's just a wheel that says, Dan pays $250.
Starting point is 00:44:46 About $250. And then we get food that we don't want. The best part is the Yak audience has just taken, like the chat has taken your guys' frame of mind where it's like, if I don't pay for something, they're like, how is Big Cat not paying for this like I saw there was the hot dog guy yeah there was like comments being
Starting point is 00:45:09 like dude did you not tip him I was like yes I did tip him after but thank you I tipped him yeah it's like what the fuck do a good job at keeping us in check a cat buying lunch is like Nick giving Sass a dollar okay we did discover the spiced chicken on here though yeah that was incredible dollar. Okay.
Starting point is 00:45:27 We did discover the spiced chicken on here, though. Yeah, that was incredible. Incredible. I've had it since. I'd like to have that again. Kate has to add something. Oh, Kate does have to add something. I just pick a food? Any food. Did I change mine? No whack shit, Kate. Nightmare, nightmare,
Starting point is 00:45:44 nightmare! Food. No whack shit, Kate. Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare. Food. No whack shit, Kate. Oh my God, my brain. Name a food, Kate. Sushi. Okay. Kate, that's not what you want.
Starting point is 00:45:54 I don't eat fish. That's not what you want. What the fuck? I don't eat fish. What's your favorite food? Can I pick something else? Yes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:46:00 Cheesesteaks. Perfect. Easy. What's your ideal cheesesteak in New York? Manhattan. In New York? Manhattan. In New York? I haven't found one I really love. Shorty's is good.
Starting point is 00:46:10 They're good. I feel like they used to be better. Sometimes the Shorty's ones gross me out. Yeah, they're hit or miss. They're hit or miss, yeah. Cutlets DM me and they want to send us stuff.
Starting point is 00:46:19 Maybe for Yak Idol. We'll eat in front of them. Or maybe for, yeah, Yak Idol or the case race. Wogies. yeah, Yak Idol or the Ace Race. Wogees. I haven't been there in a while. Wogees would be nice.
Starting point is 00:46:28 Really? Bad. In my opinion. I haven't been in a while now, but they're all falling off, I guess. I don't know. Beautiful neighborhood, though. Great neighborhood. Wogees.
Starting point is 00:46:37 Prime location. It's a chain. Oh. Is it? Joel of at least a handful. What? CMR. Who picked Joel of Rice? What is that? Joel of Rice. There's at least a handful. What? CMR. Who picked Joel of Rice?
Starting point is 00:46:47 What is that? I picked that. What did you think I said? Joel of Rice. Oh, fuck. I did say that. Okay. I didn't see that there wasn't a space.
Starting point is 00:47:00 Yeah. Okay, that makes more sense now. There's been one guy that's been spamming and DMing me wanting to get poutine added to this wheel for like three months. Oh, yeah. You can replace my... What was your original? I forget what mine was.
Starting point is 00:47:12 Birthday cake? Yeah, yeah. That's fine. You can replace my birthday cake. Oh, happy birthday, Jordan Woodruff. Oh, happy birthday, Jordan. Happy birthday. There's one more.
Starting point is 00:47:19 She's going on day five of her birthday. Happy birthday, Hank. Oh, our producer, Nick. Nick, yeah. Nikki B, yeah. Nikki B, awesome guy. All he wants for his birthday is people to subscribe
Starting point is 00:47:31 to the ZeroBlog30 YouTube. Really, you're not using his birthday for your own personal game? Oh, wait, no, I talked to him this morning. He wants people to subscribe to Anus as well.
Starting point is 00:47:40 Yes, he does. I have randomly walked into the kitchen like probably four Mondays in a row when kate and nick are catching up on their weekend yeah i feel very awkward every time it's the most bland yeah it's very vanilla have you noticed me there we do and i feel as you're there every time you're there i feel embarrassed by how bland our conversation is i don't know what it is but like it's synced up perfectly that I can vividly remember
Starting point is 00:48:05 at least three times standing in the kitchen with you two being like, nothing much. I went with the kids to the park. Same here. How about you? Same here.
Starting point is 00:48:14 I've got to get out of this loop. You guys both hung out with the beef the whole weekend. Yeah. Kicking back with the beef. Oh, yeah. Fitty emoji. What do we do?
Starting point is 00:48:24 Oh, wheel. For food. Oh, yeah. Diddy emoji. What do we do? Oh, wheel. For food. Oh. Oh. Oh, little flag of Mexico. Oh, yeah, you're Nico. Diva. And it is.
Starting point is 00:48:38 Oh, no. Carrot sandwiches, boys. Oh, hey, I'm sorry. I didn't even know that was added. What is that? I was complaining about how even know that was added. That was yours. What is that? I was complaining about how I got that. What is that? You were saying it in the cadence of body.
Starting point is 00:48:52 There's a... Bonmeat? No meat? Can we... They gave me like zero meat and so many carrots. Yeah, and you said you wanted us to experience that. So we're getting carrot sandwiches. Technically, this could be a tofu banh mi.
Starting point is 00:49:07 I don't think so. That sounds even worse. No, we're not doing it. Just get a regular banh mi. People are going to be pissed, Kyle. It's a good sandwich when done right. Banh mi. Simple sandwich.
Starting point is 00:49:17 Banh mi. Banh mi. Okay. Banh mi, banh mi. All right, it's going to take a long time. So do you want to eat for lunch tomorrow So do you wanna eat for lunch tomorrow Or do you want it for lunch today Just get like one and we can split it
Starting point is 00:49:28 Yeah On me no meat Gotta do it And then Kyle you get to replace the food Mutton And then when mutton goes How did we get here No that's one of the
Starting point is 00:49:49 Best things you can get right Getting medieval times to go Am I thinking of the wrong thing I thought mutton was the Like lamb right It's good Vikings eat it This is so depressing
Starting point is 00:50:02 I got a mushroom banh mi I got a vegetarian air a mushroom banh mi. I got a vegetarian air fried chicken banh mi. Jesus. I don't know how that works. Vegetarian beefsteak banh mi. I don't know how that works. Those all sound really bad.
Starting point is 00:50:15 Yeah, that sounds- You better eat all of these. Troubling. Fucking ask for this. Yeah, you literally did. You literally did. That's exactly who asked for it. We all have agreed to completely sacrifice our autonomy and the well-being and quality of the show for a virtual wheel because the vocal minority of people bullied us into believing that.
Starting point is 00:50:38 Yeah. That was deep. He's spitting. That was deep. Look at the camera. Flame him. Oh, my God. This Bon Mead restaurant is in fucking Astoria.
Starting point is 00:50:52 Jesus Christ. It's never getting here. Best Bon Mead in Astoria. Vegetarian. That's good. Oh, man. Okay. Jurassic Park is a popular blizzard at Dairy Queen what's your favorite discontinue the nerds blizzard
Starting point is 00:51:17 I used to love that thank you Kate I would spit each spoonful I would spit the nerds back out you are a foul creature everybody did that I would put all, I would spit, each spoonful, I would spit the Nerds back out into the cup. And then you'd have the fucking cocktail. You are a foul creature. Everybody did that. No one, not everybody did that.
Starting point is 00:51:30 What are you talking about? You would save the Nerds. And I'd have all the Nerds at the bottom. Yes. I swear you'd have that cup of like beige Nerds. It would turn to like a brown color. Yeah. All the colors.
Starting point is 00:51:39 Fuck yeah. One thing I do stand by is taking a Ritz cracker, chewing it up, spitting it out onto another Ritz cracker. Oh, yes. That's good. It's good. It just tastes like the same, doesn't it? No, it's something about it. Is that a joke or that's something I really do?
Starting point is 00:51:53 No, that's something my family used to do. Say that again real quick. Wait, what? Your family used to do that? You chew up a Ritz cracker and spit it onto another whole Ritz cracker and then eat it. Oh, what? It kind of works. I agree that it's disgusting.
Starting point is 00:52:10 Do we have any Ritz crackers? Can we put that on the food wheel? Yes. Did you do it more than one at a time? I feel like I did that. It's like a good dip. You know what? I'm going to make an executive order. The next time the food wheel hits, that's what we're eating.
Starting point is 00:52:26 Double Ritz. There's no other wheel. It's just Double Ritz. So make that just Double Ritz slice. You guys will be pleasantly surprised. So that we remember, TJ. Instead of food wheel, have it be a Double Ritz. So your family would be sitting around watching TV in the evening,
Starting point is 00:52:40 and you're all spitting. Yeah, no, I hated it. It was just like, all right, might as well do it because I'm not going to get over this any other way. Would you do it for each other? No, no, no. It's just for certain. No, it's for certain, TJ.
Starting point is 00:52:54 So the main wheel, instead of food, the main wheel, just have it be double Ritz. Yeah, yeah. Food wheel becomes double Ritz. The double Ritz wheel. Oh, my God. That's too. If food leaves my mouth, I accidentally spit food out.
Starting point is 00:53:12 I don't even want to touch it, even though it's just in my own mouth. Would you ever, like, would your mom make them for you? I didn't like it. It was more so I tried it just to finally see out of morbid curiosity, and it wasn't bad. I imagine there's like... Kind of worked. You have a potluck at your house,
Starting point is 00:53:27 and your mom just has no spit left in her mouth. She's like, I've been making my double ritz for everyone all day. She did it the most. Mama's double ritz. Like deviled eggs. Nothing like them, actually, now that I'm saying that.
Starting point is 00:53:41 No. Nothing. No. Zero. Nope, let's find it. Let's find the correlation. They make the middle part of the deviled eggs in their mouths, though. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:49 They spit it all back out into the... Yeah, you're right. Disgusting me. Baby birding everything. You should open a double Ritz restaurant. Yeah. Double Ritz. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:00 There's some freaks out there that would want to get double Ritzed by us. I'm taking my girl to the Ritz tonight. Yeah. Double Ritz. Yeah. There's some freaks out there that would want to get double-ritzed by us. I'm taking my girl to the Ritz tonight. Yeah. Double-ritz. I don't even know how to Google this. It doesn't exist. I don't know how to do it. Because I remember it wasn't just my family.
Starting point is 00:54:16 They all bonded. We would go on trips outside of the state. My mom would bond with other people about how it's a good move. Double-ritz? What how it's a double risk. That's not it's like making me gag. I know it's it is disgusting. I just say this is a fake story. It's not
Starting point is 00:54:33 you ever trip multiple Ritz crackers until they become a mushy paste. So gross spit the paste on the. Oh, it's a double Ritz sandwich is on Reddit or slash does anybody else. Nah, man, you alone. I'm not hyping this up.
Starting point is 00:54:53 Look at the one below. Do you ever masturbate out of boredom? Yeah. It's the only reason. Necessity for me. Wait, did anyone say yes? Yeah. It's got to be. Oh, Cheez say yes? Yeah. It's gotta be.
Starting point is 00:55:07 Oh, Cheez-Its and Goldfish? It's making me sick. What do you do with the Cheez-Its? Goldfish are so small. It has been like 16 plus years. How do we go from this? Now I need to see if it's actually good. How do we have the one good thing
Starting point is 00:55:21 on the wheel and we just turn it into something disgusting? It's your own double Ritz. I'm not. Oh, that's gross. Oh, we're double. Everyone is double Ritzing. I bet you Ritz doesn't sound bad to me. Loser of the case race has to eat an entire sleeve of Ritz,
Starting point is 00:55:37 double Ritz style. Yeah. No. Yeah. Can I at least get a paste? Can I blend water? We're not going to lose. We're not going to do water in the same team or not.
Starting point is 00:55:47 Oh, yeah. They're going to break up the dream team? They will try. Yeah, they always try. I'd say they'll succeed. Am I misremembering that? Steven, can you make sure that we have a face painter for that Monday? Can we get like a really good one too?
Starting point is 00:56:01 He had a really good one. It was amazing. I want movie quality. She was. She was really good. Did you see had a really good movie. I want movie quality. She was. She was really good. Did you see TJ's Snake? Yeah. I want like a six
Starting point is 00:56:09 I want six hours in the makeup room making me look like a different person. That lady couldn't do Gautier for me. I think I'm going to do Kane. I asked her if I could do Patrick
Starting point is 00:56:17 because me and Big Cat were going to do SpongeBob and Patrick and she was like I don't think I can do that. I think we're under a certain time constraint. Yeah. Do we want the same one or a different one? I think she was great. She don't think I can do that. I think we're under a certain time constraint. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:26 Do we want the same one or a different one? I think she was great. She was good. Okay, cool. Do you guys remember, like, I think I know what I'm going to do this time, but I'm not doing the Joker again. Please. People want it.
Starting point is 00:56:39 All good things must pass. Put a vote up real quick, TJ. Two-minute vote. No, I'm not going to. Should Sass be the Joker again? No you can't It was a one time thing You have to I'm the Joker baby
Starting point is 00:56:52 Like I'm gonna be the cookie monster That's pretty good What does he say? Cookie Oh that would be good It's some catchphrase that's repeatable. You need to drink the beer like he eats cookies. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:10 I'm not. How many cookies a day? We could all do a theme. We could all be Sesame Street. Sesame Street would be hilarious. That would be funny. Well, last time I wanted everyone to do the Joker. I want us to all come in and be the Joker
Starting point is 00:57:25 but then me and Owen did it and then everyone else was like nah you didn't have time so then just me and Owen were the Joker it was great it was memorable I'm the Joker baby I'm pumped it's all pumped okay this has been a good show that we didn't have to do
Starting point is 00:57:42 anything stupid and hurt ourselves it's weird whenever we do a talk show. Yeah, but it worked well. I thought that was very fun, and we now also know Quiggs is a psychopath. Yeah. Oh, looks like you got to do it. Not a lot of votes. Look at this.
Starting point is 00:57:56 Oh, keep fighting. Well, we just put it up 35 seconds ago. Staying at 35 seconds. What about a hybrid Cookie Monster Joker combo? I don't know if she can do that. It's like milk. He's a milk mustache. I like that.
Starting point is 00:58:15 That salmon bar is digging. Yeah, I think that's enough to overrule. Well, I'm saying no. Yeah, it is. And the people said yes. Not that many people, though. Enough people that I think we have to do it. I want to be the cookie monster.
Starting point is 00:58:31 Somebody took seatbelt titties on Instagram. Shit. Should have known that was going to happen. Go to him. Probably going to try and... But I will say, the other one besides me is the perfect seatbelt. That is a great seatbelt titty. Actually, those aren't even big tits.
Starting point is 00:58:52 The seatbelt just gives the illusion. Oh, it's Sass. It's Sass's titties. Love it. Get some love on that one too. There we go. Okay. Love it. Get some love on that one, too. Yeah, let's get it. There we go. Okay.
Starting point is 00:59:10 All right, we'll see everyone tomorrow. KB, look out for your bond me. Should arrive in about four days. And it has no meat in it. Buy the shirts. Buy the shirts. Buy the shirts. Buy the shirts. Buy the shirts. Buy the shirts. Buy the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop.
Starting point is 00:59:46 We're doing Yankees. Love is the act. It's the act.

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