The Yak - We Measured and Found Some LENGTHY Boys Among Us | The Yak 1-14-25

Episode Date: January 14, 2025

Happy Mean Day!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello, it's the Yak. Welcome in. Roback.com, promo code Yak. 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, Polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, Roback.com, promo code yak 20% off first purchase qzips polos hoodies joggers shorts rowback.com Promo code yak Hello, everyone. Hello. I think will Compton's gonna join us which is gonna fuck up our penis size on dick day on dick day

On dick day. I don't think there we go. I said not on mean day not on mean day. We're going to have to find out our dick sizes. As soon as we put our numbers in the length bucket, Che came and grabbed and he said, Kyle, try to convince me to do min and max. You don't do that once we give you our length. You don't pivot when you give up the length. Did anyone, I hurt myself basically pushing my Pelvic bone all the way hard so mine my oh

Hey, were you snooping around the bucket a little bit? That's not for you. I know but when we do pussy day Cuz the means for our pussies on here the width of the pussy yeah Mean will be telling The width of your pussy. Yeah. The diameter. Yeah, the mean. The diameter. Yeah. The mean will be telling. Did you guys stand up, sit down, lay down? I was lying down. I was lying down and I was like, I did this move where it just pushed as hard as you can to get a little extra.

It's tough though because if you're lying on your back, gravity's going to push. You're probably going to lose a little bit of length. Like here's a question. Do you, when you say like, oh, that's a tall tree and like let's measure that tree the roots should count, too Roots are part of the tree Matters where you measure to how high above sea level yeah I started at my lower back and went I think 50% of my dick is internal Why don't we get credit for that it's bullshit

Is he tallying right now, so what are we gonna display the mean? Yes? Wait? What does mean again? Yeah, actually thanks for asking that cuz yeah, I like saying mean though Average. Average. Average. Yeah, I actually, thanks for asking that because I don't remember. I like saying mean though. Mean dick. More fun. Yeah. We got a... Before we went live, we agreed that tomorrow we're revealing color. Yes. Pantone. Pantone day.

We're gonna try to mix it all. Build the perfect penis. Not the perfect penis, just like... Just like what we have. We have teams. teams team pink team tan Two-tone what did you say yours was Kyle Floridian? It's not fully like Hispanic yeah, it's like a dude from Orlando yeah That's a good shade. That's a great shade. Oh

Wow, all right. Yeah, so they're guessing we're in the a that's of course. I would imagine that's gonna be the case This is our audience or they're guessing what our this is the audience right? Oh the audience They're telling us are they telling us are their dicks or they guessing whether they're guessing are 10% of our audience has a tiny Penis yeah, we're not under four, guys. Hey, 13% thinking you're over six. I was happy with mine, I'll say that. I was surprised. Well, knowing the average is 5.1.

When the mean comes up, you're going to cheer like you just got a question right in bar trivia. Yeah, I guess if I'm below the mean, that's going to suck. Because that means it will be a drag this down. Yeah, it'll be like getting closest to him. Price is right. Yeah, does all of our family members know how to watch? I didn't alert them.

Shit. We got a new hat, by the way. Really? What? Yeah, look, it's right there. It's on the board. Oh, I thought you meant the France. France son, the French son. It's on the board. Oh, I thought you move the Frank the France France son the French son

Yeah, like Tom Brady for now Yeah, that's that's our new hat and Clemmer's gonna meet us in New Orleans on the Tuesday Super Bowl week with he's gonna drive down with Vips so he's gonna pick up a bunch of new ones. Yeah, so he's coming down through, West Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee Yep, he's not gonna find a purple hat in West Virginia. I'll tell you that Yeah, I've never seen one there in West Virginia yeah, you're gonna have to go to Bell Riverside High School or Were you guys bummed how many people didn't get the capital West Virginia correct? No, they shouldn't know that I didn't see it

I knew it just cuz we've done a show there. That's very Charleston Charles Charles turn because there's a Charleston on the other side They got a gold dome on the yeah It actually looks it's a nice cabin through there a couple good skyline for a city that size It's you know, that's where Marshall is right? No, no, honey Then where's Huntington West Virginia still close to Charleston? Yeah, yeah on the Kentucky border probably about two hours Yeah to West my mom lived there for a little bit what my dad used to hitchhike Philadelphia. That's a nice dome for you guys

Yeah, what key to the city did I get Toledo? No, no, I have to leave city was it was a West Virginia city You gave it to me and I gave it to a dude the bar. Yeah Clarksburg Clarksburg was it? Yeah, really watch will We need you fuck This is a bad day for you to be it's it's mean day, dude Oh, we need to get our mean in there. He's in yeah, we're measuring the sizes of all of our penises We're putting out our average penis size today We all measured last night and now we're putting out a number flaccid or hard hard rock hard

Do you have a number say maybe five and a half I do? I Guess we should rip the bandage off. Can we can we reveal the the second number first? Point what? How's that gonna help? So some people put in some people put in a third I think one person put in a fourth digit. That's gotta be B. It looks better. So everybody last night one person put in a third digit. God harden measure our boners. And then send it to Chay. We dropped it in a bucket so. No, one person put it in the third digit. God-hardened measure our boners. And then send it to Che.

We dropped it in a bucket so he doesn't know our size. We have a length bucket. Oh, now we're trying to guess. No. No. We're trying to release a size of all the average of this room. Okay, okay. Got you.

So you being here... I'm not helpful. No. But you might be right on it. I might be right on it. Right on it. All right, do you have it, Che? I do. Boys, but you might be right on it might be right on right on it. All right. Do you have it? Boys we're big dick boys no no way yeah six point two six

No, who's packing it's got to be tightest I will feel a little betrayed and what if it no I was 5.2. Oh I was happy. I was 0.1 over the yeah. Yeah, it was like dude. Fuck. Yes. Let's go the silence before that That's cute Nice look you over six who the fuck is that is a tight is as one. There's not a nice chase say yours No, Jay say yours say it say your order check wait Time out time out Jay. Are you north of seven? There was yes There were two... Two north of seven.

But oh my god! Woohoo! Whoa! Ah, by the way, there are sevens among us. No. Wow! I feel like we might have some liars in here. Oh, here, here.

Let me clarify this. There are... There's actually... Kind of a surprising, like, gap. Because for the most part... Most people fall in one range. There are three that are substantially larger than everyone else.

6.9 and above. Three? The rest are six, a little over six and below. Was 5.1, was 5.2 the lowest? Don't ask that. God damn it I was I love I'm really measuring tonight in the middle of all the yelling you're like somebody's lying

How do we feel like we got a light time or something I'm gonna get harder tonight Somebody also put a measurement that I had to look up. What's that somebody go three gram cracker system? Some other and then Kate also put in one that I discarded okay Well the Congratulations mark. What do you what do you mean? Like what I'm confused by Someone put in a measurement you don't understand. He doesn't understand normal measurements. Oh, was it the size of like, was it the size of like a butterfinger? Just did they use what was the unit? What was a fortune cook?

Let's do one without big cat and me. Yeah. Oh, yeah. See how big it can go. I don't know who. Let's do a roll call. You say the number and then someone says what they're, what this is. I didn't open up and give you my length. I thought we were gonna combine lengths. We can't give face to length. Yeah. Will, do you wanna go submit and we'll re-average? God damn it.

This is like. I'm not gonna help the average. This is like in the office, they do the weight competition and they make Pam step off. Yeah. That's what we're gonna figure out what will. I was so pumped. There are three substantially bigger than everyone is within an inch of each other. Everyone's in

that five middle five. So in the grand scheme of things, we're all we all have the same side. Everyone's like I would say five two and like five nine is the same. Yeah. Everyone is between let's say low fives and six five and low sixes. Okay, and then we have three three boost the average Substantial doxy Brandon. Have you been silent? Yeah, you got a big penis yeah Listen, it's a team game guys. What did you help the team is? Your penis big enough that you will potentially use it in future contract negotiations Is your penis big enough that you will potentially use it in future contract negotiations?

Against a portnoy for sure no, but like if I leave the yak the number goes down. Yeah, right. Oh Or like hey Bill Simmons. Do you know how big my dick is? I'm uh if your dick was in feet instead of inches what position would you play in the NBA great question? I mean I At least a stretch for Wow. I might be a five. Wow. I'm fucking spud web out here. That means you're Duncan though. I'm like a circus ball player. Nate Robinson and spud web. You're the children that play at halftime. 12 year old. I'm a 12 year old globe trotter a tall 12 year old though very tall you have a giant kid did oh I can't believe we did that yeah it's kind of really weird yeah very weird I look

at that long ruined everything yeah oh my god no but as a show that's what I'm gonna do I'm gonna I'm gonna use it like yeah I'm on a show where what is it six point one? To the average is six point two six three people were above the mean so I'm gonna start just saying yeah I'm part of a six point two six every show at Barstool should have that number in parentheses Yak fans that... Mook solo shows. On your Twitter account, like you're doing the sports team you like record.

A live one on wake up mincy with the guests whenever the guest walks in. Wait, can we change our YAC parenthesis 628? Yeah. Is it 628 or 626? 626. 626. So June 26th has to be like a holiday in here for you guys. Yeah! That's our penis day! Penis day. 626.

We should celebrate penis day. We should sell shirts. Happy penis day. Happy yak penis day. Put it on the calendar, TJ. Yeah, because the thing is by June everyone will still remember what this is. Yeah. Even us! So if penis day rolls around Yeah, because the thing is by June everyone will still remember what this is. Yeah That's that's they rolls around it would be natural for everybody That's the funniest funniest text ever with Jade like in early June's like reminder need ideas for penis

I just sent it to sales This is actually great because a rock song. Yeah. June 27th is a Friday, but that's a Friday before break. So half day potentially pre-taped show. Probably our last live show before 4th of July. Perfect. Wow. Perfect. Penis day. Oh, it's one of my favorite times. the stars aligned perfectly To suck every 30 minutes the 27th will most likely be the Royal Rumble case race Wow Yeah, Wow What a back-to-back what a week that oh penis day and ace race clear your schedules everybody will are you 100% confirmed? Not a hundred percent confirmed. What's happening?

I'm working. You gotta, you know. Okay. You know how the home life is. So you've gotten a date. Got a date. Let's do it. Yeah.

Okay. Trust me. Need you to confirm. Should we move? This is one where you gotta open up the playbook and kind of do the whole guilt trip method. Should we move the date for Will? No, for a drinking game?

No. So he could make it? I'm talking about dick dating. Now if Shane Gillis, we no so you could make it I'm talking about Nicholas we'd move it yeah I'm probably right I'm probably I'll be able to make this I need it I needed it I need you full go yeah you full go yeah Nick Mangold's gonna be joining us he you know he's gonna put him down oh yeah oh yeah well it's gonna be like the repercussions for throwing up? None. I do it every case race. I know. I didn't know here. I did it. I did it at four beers last case. Every

case race goes the same for me. I drink nine beers as fast as I possibly can and then I puke my guts out. It's best time. Love doing it. You left it all in the court. Yeah. You gotta do that. And Dana Beers. Oh, he's part of it too? Yeah. So we got a good squad. When does he get married? I don't know. I was invited. I gotta go. I gotta buy him a gift. Did all you guys get invited? No. No. No. I got an invite. You got invited? I got invited. Booze ponies. Mmm.

Oh, man. Good call. He's a huge social climber, too. He deems us as lower. Correct. Yeah. Dana just like, just Dana in any serious setting is a very funny visual.

Yeah. Him just having to stand up there. Oh, it's gonna be a funny wedding. Do you think he'll, instead of a first kiss, he'll do a first chug? His thumb's gonna. Yeah, he's gonna. He's the beer guy. He's gonna definitely a funny wedding. Do you yeah instead of a first kiss? He'll do a first chug He's gonna definitely laugh at the altar right yeah He starts reading the vows is just I can't do this I'm sorry this is too funny Yeah, how much you think we'd have to pay him to do a first chug instead of a first kiss Just a text message might call

And would his wife be upset? probably She might know what she's getting into yeah with the wife and I have to write a deal with parents like a moment Yes, have him chug the full glass of wine at church Compromise yeah came on dad Dana wants to chug beers. Hey, we're on the Yak. How much, how much the Yak is looking to sponsor a portion of your wedding? How much would we have to pay to do a first chug instead of a first kiss? Oh, fuck. Damn it. You put me on the spot here. Okay. You could think about it.

Say no. Because he knows it's a no. on the spot here. Yeah, you could think about it. Say no. Because he knows it's a no. Yeah. What did you say? Am I the one that chugs? Yeah, no, you chug. So they say, like, you can now kiss the bride. And you say, and then you like shush your wife.

And then you chug a beer. Let me ask her, and I'll see you. OK, all right, also, what size is your hard penis? Yeah, we did we were all did it we're 6.2 podcast as a whole Okay, all you, Dana. Whatever an iPhone is. He's going to text me later and be like, I actually meant an eye touch.

Yeah, iPod Nano. He's the best. He's the best. How's the energy around here? Good. It feels good. Yeah. Yeah, we're taking the surviving.

I came in and tried stirring it up between JP, our producer JP Hovey and Rico. Yeah. But Rico wasn't, he wasn't playing a whole lot. No. He's serious Rico right now. Yeah. He's like, what do you want me to do? He's going to throw grenades at me.

Everything is, yeah. Fight with Rico. Yeah. You, we missed you on Sunday, Will. It was a fight with Rico. Yeah. You uh, we missed you on Sunday. Well, it was fun though. Having here Saturday. Yeah. How was a dude? The commander's game was electric crazy. I mean, bills killed them and grew. And we were saying yesterday, Gruden probably is contemplating like every decision he's ever made. He's spending a full weekend watching

games. I saw him sitting in the back behind the bar. Yeah. He started slowly moving. He was the Homer Simpson where he just started slowly moving backwards. By the end of the night he was on across the court. How was he with Nate? He was good. What do you think of Nate? Yeah, he was good. Yeah. He was, I think it was more the Jerry stuff on Saturday. Probably had him just like. I know. And then what's funny too is you started to tip Jerry off on it, but then it seemed like he just turned it up even more and it's a

What big cats ain't is real yeah, they're friends. Yeah, they're good friends Yeah, it's always it's always good having gruden around. Yeah, how do you how about Minnesota and the Rams, bro? Yeah? Hmm. How about your team? That was your squad this year? I know I know and just that when we were breaking it down the pro football show the the him on that fourth and goal from the two It was like did the playoff quarterbacks and man he was just missing yesterday He cost himself how much money you think he cost himself? 40 million

Another team will do it another team. I think so too like at least 30, right? I think but like he was he could have been if they had gone on a run To like the NFC championship game. He could have been in the 40s 50s. Yeah. Yeah, he's will do anything But still where he was at I mean what he came yeah, yeah, yeah, he's still better off. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah Kate You wrote the letter what the fuck Kate? I. I didn't read it yet, but. I did. We got to read it.

I didn't either. I already disagree. So this is Will. To catch you up, yesterday Kate told us that her neighbor across the street has a window in her bathroom or in her bedroom. It's in the shower. In the shower, and you can see everything.

It's like knee length to over the headlight. It's a massive window. And she's a good looking girl. The sun was shining through and at night you could see like everything. The neighbor might believe that it's frosted glass but it is not frosted glass. Yeah. And so you're thinking I need to let her know. Yes, girl code. We told her not to. They told me not to. But guy code is don't tell it. Right. That's right.

And she asked us what to do. Now the letter, I read it, Kate. Yes. However awkward you think Kate might make a letter of the style, it is 10x that. Can I say why? Wait. Oh, no.

My thinking was, I have two thoughts. One, if she's doing it on purpose and she just loves Because my neighborhood has a lot of people like not from the states and like I'll say Europeans are like fast and loose with it Sometimes yeah, maybe she just loves the Sun coming in her window in the winter time and she doesn't give a shit I wanted to let her know I'm not here to judge. I wanted to let her know I'm a mom This is already too much which means you started with too much You should have been if you're gonna write a letter should be one sentence like hey, I can see it Hey nice

That's marks letter I felt like I was out to let her know how I saw her because I didn't want her to think I'm Like like always looking So bad I put it I but I put it in an envelope and put it in the how long is this letter Did you put on the right door you lever an opening to write you back? I put my initials I said you're really and then I was like is it weird to say my name should I just write your neighbor? But I already wrote neighbor at the high neighbor at the top so I was like I don't say You cared well that's a rule for like writing something public, so I just put my initials your initials. I don't know three paragraphs Paragraphs you put two point eight two you want to meet I'll tell you my full name yeah

I should make her think like maybe there's a little something say my full name. Oh no Neighbor I just want it to be like light and you're not judged I just want it to be like light and you're not judged. Oh my God. It's a scroll. Brandon, read it with a real deep Southern accent. No. And I wrote like 50 versions of this. With the sun hitting the window.

Because I wanted to know. Frosted glass. That's erotic. Brandon, you read it. Hello neighbor. I'm a mom of two who lives across the street. And yesterday I was in the kitchen giving my son a snack when I glanced out the window. It was very clear that someone was showering across the street and with the sun hitting

the window the frosted glass sticker or whatever is blurring the window does not work well. It's very easy to see right through. If you're like lady I know I'm just getting some sun around here when I can then please ignore me and know my intentions were good Oh, I just thought if it were me and I was unaware. I'd want to know Hashtag girl code oh That's an I think girls watching to make her feel comfortable! Hashtag, girl code. Oh. That's, I think girls watching this are like,

yes, this is fine. No. Are you gonna finish it? Yeah. No judgment either way, and hope this doesn't come across wrong just trying to look out for a neighbor. In any event.

In any event. The odds of you glancing across the street and seeing me stomping around our upstairs in my ratty old mom hands are very high. And I'm sorry if that's already happened, huh? Oh, uh-oh. Best, best, best. Why is that weird?

Why is that weird? The whole last paragraph was weird. I'm trying to make her laugh, because what if she finds out she's mortified? She's mad at this point. Hey, people are probably seeing me too. Oh, too much. In the event, huh? The worst part is like I genuinely actually did deliver this letter.

Oh, all you had to say is just a heads up. We can all see your knockers. You tape it to her door. You put it in her mailbox. So her mailbox, you have to have a key to get into it. So I just shoved it in the crack of the door and it went in at any point. The second you put it in there, go, I shouldn't have done that and try to get it out. No, I feel, I don't know why you guys are reacting. Are there women in the group? Top being like that was fine. I feel like women. So there are women in the group chat. Who's, I think you

made her too. You try to make her too comfortable and it may be, it might come across as flirtatious. The way the sun hits the frosted glass. I said I'm a mom of two with old ratty hands, I'm not trying to. Full transparency, I really don't think it's that bad. I think it's bad. I don't think it's that bad. It's not, it's very nice.

Cause you see she's trying to make a nice I think the only the only conclusion is you got to become lesbian lovers That would be a good meat How'd you guys meet I should have said I don't French anymore, so she's non-threatening Doesn't French anymore. Yeah, I think I would have softened the below a little bit like you can't really see everything but Somebody could walk by and but I didn't want her to be like oh, it's a little bit. You can't really see everything, but somebody could walk by and. But I didn't want her to be like, oh, it's a little blurry, I don't care. I wanted her to know.

Yeah. I see your big fat face. Because I'm telling you, you can see everything. I don't look, but my husband does. Yeah, I know. So like scalp to knees? Like, pretty much, yes. I just had a woman text me and say,

1000% Team Kate. Wow. Thank you. No, I think it was really kindly worded and you did your best to make her as comfortable as possible I think it's also we'll see how she feels. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's also we won't I don't for us to put ourselves in this spot because like if you're like hot woman Nude show none of us would do anything. No No, I just just be like... Not for a while. I'd set my watch. It would affect my circadian rhythm.

Yeah. Like the yak's starting, sorry, you know that shower time. We'd write a letter saying nice tits and slide it under. Hashtag nice tits. And tag her on the letter the letter no it's probably fine i think it's fine i think there might be a language barrier which will make some of that weird weird oh that that would be very like radial doesn't speak english at all wait she you think she is um what makes you that european first does she have european tits she got bush what's european about

her this might be the name on the mailbox name on the mailbox not even like English letters. It was like What? What? What? What? I live in the Ukrainian village. I live in So was it like Russian? Oh

Yeah I don't know Now wait a minute now it's international Kate I know This is a Russian woman That's why I think I feel okay because I'm like our worlds would never collide I think Oh, is it a Russian woman? They don't give a fuck

The bathhouse yeah those dudes in the bathhouse they just walk around with fucking huge bellies and tiny wieners yep Fuck and we live to like a hundred okay, and they do the thing where they like beat each other with the I had that I've been done to me. Yes. Yeah, they just hang out naked all day I beat you with a leaf. Yeah, what does that do? It warms your bones apparently It's this shit works because it's it's literally a bunch of obese Russian dudes that will live forever. They sit vodka That's the Finns. Is that the Finns? I think the Russians die young. Oh do they but they look old they look discussed Yeah, oh I think the Russians die young. Oh, do they? But they look old. They look disc- yeah. Oh.

What's that thing you're looking at? I think the Russians die young. I think, like, Finns and Scandinavians. Will they get old quick over there? You almost have to. Putin's 28, right? Yeah. Well, we can see.

Maybe they just killed themselves. It is high over there. I think they shouldn't. Well, what's that got to do with this hot Russian chick? They don't care about the body Like she really might but well, that's why I covered my bases I said if you're if you're doing it on purpose guy I don't want her to think when I said I'm a mom of two

I didn't want her to think I was like clutching my pearls like I want my baby to see What if today she makes more of a show of it? Like she gets in the shower and she really I mean she gets right up by the window It makes you spread your legs makes you watch. I'm the kind of person like you have a great time I like could not care less. I don't know but I just don't You should write her another letter. Yeah, I think that should do a follow-up. You have to hey neighbor Yeah, you should actually do a follow-up tonight being like not sure if you got the first letter. Yeah, is that awkward? Yeah, sorry, and if it was me I would want to know but no judge

Yeah Well, then my brain is like cuz I listen to all these murder podcasts and I just in an envelope I wrote third floor neighbor in huge purple letters and I whatever and then I'm like what if she has an awful roommate? Who's a guy who like reads it is like and he knows what time she showers and he Construction workers to park out front for 20 bucks, and then she gets murdered. Yeah. These are the things.

What? I'm just saying, I hope she gets it. Can you see her clear enough to be able to discern her facial expressions? Yes, I think so. If she was looking out the window and like going like, oh, could you register a moan? I don't think so.

I don't think so. Have you seen her out in the public? No, I that's I was trying to figure out because I've seen people. It's multiple apartments. So I'm not 100 percent sure. And people like people change a

lot in that apartment. You put the letter in the building. You didn't put it by her door. I couldn't. The mailbox was outside. It was like those metal ones. You have to have a key for. So I You put the letter in the building. You didn't put it by her door. I couldn't. The mailbox was outside. It was like those metal ones you have to have a key for. So I just slid it in the crack.

Are you sure? So anybody could grab this. Wait. But I wrote third floor neighbor on it. So anybody from the third floor could grab this. Wait, also, Kate, those mailboxes. You might not even get the letter. Oh, it's the one where the UPS guy has the key.

She might not even get the letter. Yeah, you should have written three identical letters. Oh, no. Three to four. You got to do another one tonight. Well, as I was running across, there was a blonde, like, Ukrainian-looking woman outside. And I was like, are you the one who lives up here?

And I was hoping it was her so I could just talk to her. You asked a random woman if that was her? Yes. She was out front, like, dusting off her car. And I was running across. And I was like, is this her car and I was running across Can you bend over like you're shaving real quick with your tits? I put our dick number on it, too. Yeah By the way, I'm for six to six to six boys send the regards

The six point two six boys, yeah, oh shit, they're trouble. We gotta get out of here. By the way TJ did text us the he did send to the sales saying penis day 26. That is I think the Ryder Cup when we're taping that. So if I'm not here when is penis day? August? The FOMO. If you take out, are we in August now? What is that? That's not a month. Yes. I'm helping the 626. Help me.

What if we flipped it then instead of like Christmas in July, penis day at Christmas. Oh, yes. Yes. We could celebrate half penis day. Yes, penis day. I'll try to make it back for penis day. Do we do soft? Should we have a soft penis? In the water All right, Kate you did a good thing. Thank you. I think so. I just hope she gets

it. I hope the right person gets that part. As you've seen the third floor thing kind of threw me in a spin. She's going to know exactly which is so fascinating that you're walking down the street. You see a woman showering and it has crippled you for months. Probably you should just like breaks your brain. Any of us see it was like, Oh, nice to see you sick. No, she's just like, you go home and cannot think about anything else, how to handle this. What Mark's trying to say is we're awful people and you're too nice. Yeah. Okay.

I'm like sweating now that we were just talking about this. This is coming from a place of kindness, not weirdness. Yeah. Like what you're doing. You're trying to do the right thing. All right. I just want, I do hope I get some kind of sign from her. I don't know what that would be. Well her covering her window would do it right? Oh, yeah, you're right. I guess then I'll know yeah

She wears a bikini in the shop writes in the in the frosted glass stop looking yeah, we call police sign By the way, we've got DraftKings Pick 6. Have you played DraftKings Pick 6? Well, what are you waiting for? You better get on it. The NFL playoffs are here and time is running out. His official daily fantasy sports partner, the NFL. DraftKings does fantasy sports like no one else. Play for better payouts on Pick 6.

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See terms at picksix.draftkings.com slash promos. Willie, I saw you just flexing that you were handling everything the other day. When you got back, you had the baby bouncing. You were making breakfast. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Will's really good at just letting everyone know when he does something. They have to when you're putting points on the board. Yeah. Tick tock moms will be sick with this. Check this out. I got a baby and I'm making eggs.

Made some and made some enchiladas last night. Wow. Accidentally put chili. What was it? Chipotle chili powder instead of chili powder. Oh, no. Very spicy. Very spicy. Uh-oh.

Like Frank? Oh, yeah. Talk mom, see me going nuclear for dinner this evening while I have the kids and the wife is out. Wow. That's handling business. Dad is actually because my wife is out. Wow. That's handling business. Dad is actually, because my wife is out of town this weekend and I'm handling everything

and it's going to be mac and cheese and cereal. Uber Eats. Hey, you want some chicken tenders? My problem with the Uber Eats with the kids, I do this. I just order like they are like 50-year-old men with a ravenous punch of fucking yeah wings and quesadillas. Yeah. No, I'll be like, oh, my one year old to be like, yeah. Alright, so you're

going to get general sals and Kung Pao chicken. Okay. I count you for six slices of pizza. How do we end up with all this? Yeah. The chicken tenders. That's the route to go. Yeah. Chicken tenders. Just some ketchup. Yeah. Air fryer. Yeah. Yeah. The chicken tenders, that's the route to go. Yeah chicken tenders. Some ketchup. Yeah. Air fryer.

Yeah. Yeah. Ketchup all day. Kids love ketchup. Yeah. Brandon, because you have the biggest dick on the show doesn't mean you can't like chime in anymore? Yeah, what are you doing?

Are you icing us out? Are you mad that like we're all, we can't pair? He does, he's disappointed in that? Yeah, he's, no, no. He thinks he's better than us. Are you curious? Oh wow, I he does he's disappointed. Yeah He thinks better than are you curious? No, I was about to chime in about the chicken tenders because my whole life is chicken tenders now My kids are all between think dude perfect savages higher nine and six. No, yes Well first of all, those are for sure So if I Cody Cody's probably pretty big purple hose are not very the twins tiny penises. You think they split length. Oh

Yeah, I gotta tell you I'll just say it. I got invited not for content. Yeah to go down there. Oh, that's awesome You can come can I bring the kids really? We'll make a trip. That's amazing. Yeah, fuck. Yeah Yeah, my kids would fucking I know I do coolest person. I know you're bringing the kids. Yeah That's great. Is there like an event? No, they're they're Dude Perfect is big body armor sponsor. We're a big body armor sponsors party. I'm gonna wake up. I'm gonna come check it out I love that. Thank you. They were that I mean insane facility insane My kids would go nuts there. Yeah, what if it's on dick day? Ah I'd have to be out of dick day for that

Then it's in dick days back to April. Yeah. Brandon. Fuck. Yeah. Christmas to no Santa Claus if you're not here. Yeah, Che, why don't you actually get everyone's penis size and then we'll just say if that if it was just their dick, what would their dick day be? No. Oh. I don't know, Mark. July sounds pretty good. July is beautiful. It's beautiful mark. Are you playing? Are you playing the five? Playing the oh, I think he has back in basketball. Yeah I mean

I'd like to think it's a little more versatile than that Like this when we play the five Like you know, it's modern basketball I play positionless basketball you're honest I can get the South Sudanese team Marcus like Kevin Durant. He's a seven year, but he's just always lies and says he's 610 I can put the ball on the floor. You know According to these results. There's one person here who's This person this size has never even been in the NBA. Oh Seven or a saw or could be short person. Oh, yeah

I have no idea person who's for 10 tall was a yelme 76. Oh my god the tallest is 77 George Mears on and did anybody touch eight yes whoa anyone touch nine Mark oh my god that's Brandon Walker anyone touch nine Brandon is that you the way you're blinking over there do we have a nine no nobody touch nine nobody nobody so what's your dick size hey, what do you got to say? This is actually good for everyone each club except me and KB who've admitted we weren't that but if now everyone is pretended Yeah, I'm still to a 66 not impressive Brandon's brain speech mark, but what are you looking at me for?

I think Za. Chay? Kyle? Danny's also been very quiet. Danny's been very quiet. What did you say Nick? Kyle? Kyle's been quiet.

Look up the global leaderboard with countries average. Oh, yeah, I feel like we're playing werewolf by the way The man with eight-inch cock I've already said that I'm just a villager Swear to God I got no special powers. Brandon knows something. He is up to something feels that way. He's either feeling really good because he knows he's the best or he knows that he's number two and he's trying to figure out who the top dog is. Yeah. But everyone can just pretend that it might be them. Yeah, which is awesome. Nick, what'd you see last night?

What'd I see last night? I slept easy. On my stomach. Wait, so what's centimeters, what is this, inches? Sudan, Congo, Ecuador, Chile. 7.07 basically. Okay. And what is...

Ecuador is that high. So what's America okay, and What is? Ecuador is that high so what's America would have thought Ecuador a tiny people America's last people's that Peru Australia Ecuadorians are short. What's that in inches? America 5.57 shit Lower than I could be big in what Where are you big at? Thailand. Oh yeah, Thailand. I'm max.

How'd you know? I know the bottom. We gotta go to Thailand, Kyle. Oh yeah. Oh shit! Oh god, you'll be keen. That's insane. The average man in Thailand is 37.

It's all self-reported, right? Yeah. How else? Unless do they do a dick census that we just missed? Yeah, but they don't, even when you get a physical, they don't write down your dick census. Hey, please get hard. Yeah, where are they getting ruler? I guess that makes sense. Where's Zimbabwe? Oh, it's purple. Purple.

Where is it? Where's it on the map? There it is. 15, 16. 22. Nice. That's 6.57. Wow. Jeez. Specked.

I'm trying to, I want to know my, what country I'd fit in the best in. I think I'm greasy. Greasy dick. What country has the worst, like, the fattest ass, smallest dicks? Wow. Fattest ass? Smallest dicks. Like, Brazil was like top 20 there for dicks, so they're doing okay, but like, what country

basically, the guys can't handle that? That just has to be... Oh, yeah. I don't think that's how evolution works. You have to have a... There has to be't think that's how evolution works. You have to have a... There has to be a country that's in pure turmoil. Yeah, there's just... It's incompatible. I think that's... It's Brazil, but that's why they always murder each other.

I think so? They're so frustrated they can't reach. They try to fuck, they can't get it in there. Yeah, trying their best. They try to fuck, they can't get it in there. Yeah, trying their best. Oh, man. This has been fun. It's been good shit.

Yeah, it's a good learning episode. Yeah. Are we doing the Plinko board today? That's Thursday. No, Thursday's Plinko Day. That was fun. Yeah, I miss Plinko Day. Wait, oh yeah, you weren't.

I was here, I was saying I miss it. Oh, fun. Yeah, I miss playing day. Wait. Oh yeah. You were I was here. You were here. Oh yeah. Yeah. I want to play it again. I know we're taking it to the next level. Do you guys see that shot? I hit Will's eye. Did you? I didn't see it. Hmm

in his eye. I didn't. What type of shot could that pretty much basketball while you were measuring in an eye. I'd like to see. He Yeah. The three pointer. Yeah. It was the game winner. Oh wow. Oh on Friday. War on his head. No bad close out. Will just kept on running up and down the court saying once I get my handles it's gonna be a problem. Passing the ball in low post. He just immediately turn it over. I'm about to go to bed that night and big cat sends me a video. It was about like the game that was just played. Jack Sawyer's

Jack. So you're like I think he stepped down on 35 and it's just the play going and I slow it down To figure out if he steps out on the 35 and then it just transitions in the big cat I got in my editing Oh my goodness. Game winner. Guys, send me that clip. When I saw Spider had the phone out, he was like, god damn. Yeah, fuck.

Hey, how about those videos I sent you and Jerry? Oh yeah. Will had a couple, consensual couple next to him in his hotel that were just banging it out. And I'm talking Pornhub style couple. I told them the next day coming in I was like yes

this couple next door woke me up in the middle of the night and this dude's just wrecking her. You should have wrote her my letter. And the next night it happens again like when I come into my room after the playoffs are done I get there and I'm just like holy shit these two and then I wake up just from a dead sleep at 4 a.m. and hear them again and I'm like I have to film this is insane like hey Mark I'm talking this guy was this guy is a champion a champion it was insane you want to shake his hand yeah yeah buddy Jesus Christ how do you do this for him even no they like young or old no no no yeah I didn't see my office it's pitch black

and they're just up against the wall like all over the room and you just in this guy just like holy shit we're like pictures falling off the wall and shit probably there's there's rap music playing and I hear them over the rap music. I've never thought of changing spots around the room. They were all over. I didn't even know you could do that. That's how you get a cramp. Yeah, yeah.

I put down roots instead. I spent born, raise and die. So was this funny to you? Was this frustrating to you? Hot, hot to you? Hot. It was more just like good for this. Good for this guy. Impressive. Yeah, it was very impressive. What about the girl? Good for her too. Yeah, good for her too. Jesus. She could have been the one pounding it. Hey, would you have wrote her a letter? I heard you getting destroyed. I think I would have let her roll with it. That's what I should have just slid a letter under. Yeah, Good job, dude. Congratulations. Yeah both need a third

Tag me in That's you guys don't think about that every time I'm in a hotel I I like look at the furniture and everything and I'm like people have fucked on this Well, yeah, they've done everything on every yeah on every surface on hotels by design or like disgusting what you think of jizz factory Yeah, yeah, I mean Yeah, yeah All of it happens. Mm-hmm Yeah, even when I'm solo, I can't help myself. So I'm saying I walk in the door

Have you guys ever stayed in a hotel that's paid by the hour? There is when I was going to What? No. There is, when I was going to... The hostel, right? A brothel. I wish I could remember, when I was going to stay in Indianapolis for the Home Alone thing with my cousin, who's like my age, and we were getting a hotel downtown, and I was looking up phone hotels,

I wondered if you could look it up. There is a pay by the hour hotel chain, there's one right outside Chicago, and in Indianapolis, and it's called like Sibiris or something like that. The Sibiris yeah. Do you know what I'm talking about? Oh yeah. Have you seen the founders? I don't know if you can look up. They used to have radio commercials like crazy. And look at the couple you won't believe. I had a little jingle. At first I didn't get what it was

because I was like oh my god this room has like an awesome swimming pool with like twirly slides like would it be funny if we stayed in an awesome swimming pool room? My brain wasn't computing. Sibiris. But it's a pay by the hour fuck hotel. And they are proud about it. But it's nice.

It's high end. I had the same thing when I was a kid. They used to do radio ads. And then I looked up what it was once upon a time. And I was like, oh, that was fucking awesome. But wait, look at the about. And once I had high five, I was like oh those fucking awesome By the way biz just texted me can we include foreskin in like the Sibiris story I Said yes, I want pleasurable like does that like

That's the nude son so they just created a fuck hotel. Yeah, this cute couple this old ass. That hotel looks nice. It's all the rooms they have them like all across the Midwest, I guess. And it's by the hour in the afternoons. And then I was going down a rabbit hole of people tagging it on TikTok and like, nobody's like making a joke of it. They're like, you're not gonna believe where my husband took me today. It's like a lot of husbands and wives. It's like actually romantic. Going to fuck for the afternoon. You said Midwest, which states? Indiana. Indiana, here. 49 states, it's just fucking Will.

Enhancement of romantic marriage. I mean, it's not used for marriages. But it's this very wholesome fucking couple. We all know this is just a cheating hotel. Well, that's for divorces. There's... But some of the... Oh, Ken Knudsen, that's for divorces. There's, but some of the pool. Oh, Ken Knudsen died in a tragic airplane crash.

Oh. That's our airport. In Wheeler. Some of the rooms though, fucking rule. They have like big twirly slides and like all kinds of stuff. And I was like, man, it'd be fun to take the kids here.

Yeah, downers grove. Wait, elite whirlpool suite. Wait, is that the room or just a lobby whoa these are nice Yeah, there's all kinds. I'm telling how much is it and why would you need all that yeah? You can do overnights too, but like their main thing. I think is I Want to see some more of these sweets? What's the top of the line? People like proudly tag it on Instagram like my man took me here. I got oh yeah look But that's what rooms yes, that's your bedroom. Yeah, I was picturing me and her like doing cannonballs all night

I didn't realize it was like a fuck hotel at first. That's how lame. I am. I'm like my kids would love that yeah, that's Just take the family there. Yeah But what like when do you go down the slide I Think you have to earn it Yeah quick yeah, we're gonna have a fuck session with a quick slide break Somebody's fucked down that slide. I'm sure oh, yeah, if they could absolutely And it's not too expensive. What are guests saying?

Brandon, you're looking it up on maps. Yeah. People really enjoy it. People really had a nice time. I love my stay. What do you got, Brandon? My husband surprised me. My husband and I were pleasantly surprised.

Most of my sex is in the hotels. I know. Yeah. After Tim McGraw. Yeah, I know. That was a nice hotel we were staying in, and you were just like, what hotel are you in? Yeah. And you just got it, and you're like, all right, I Tim McGraw. Yeah, I know that was a nice. We were staying in and you were just like what hotel are you in? Yeah, and you just got it and you're like, alright, I'm going upstairs. I thought you were staying the night you left an hour later

Yeah I was still at the bar. I was at the hotel bar after the concert Yeah, you're like, hey, we're gonna check in Brandon's dude is a DIY Cyborus. It was unbelievable I do dirty dog It was an autograph collection. I believe that was the hotel, right? Every weekend, yeah. You get the package.

You ask if they charge by the minute instead. Oh, the Liberator. It's an awkward walk out. You can wait, you can just. But you're just renting these or you're buying them? Your fantasy can, that's expensive. And that's also weird to like be renting one, right? Yeah.

That's kind of... Okay. What's that? That's a massager. Oh. Eight bucks. With the price range it had, Big Cat, there's got to be an option to rent or to buy it. Yeah, you have to be able to buy it.

$100 to $600? Yeah. I wonder what's the guess. Could I have an orgy there? Could I have like... I rent the room but bring 50 people? You can do whatever you want. What would you guys book it for? I would like if I have an orgy there could I have like so what I rent the room to bring 50 Do whatever you would you guys look it for I would like if this lie the out how many hours

Is it 15 minutes can do that? I don't know what the minimum Only two people per suite what the fuck oh Yeah, you don't have fuck parties in there. Yeah,'m no respect our children allowed yeah they're allowed gotta say no I thought this is 38 years old do you have to fuck yeah do you have to fuck like the Super Bowl lie to the receptionist. Me and my boy are gonna fucking promise. Oh, military discharges. Yeah, let's go. We honor the sacrifices and dedication. Kate, would you at least French here?

I think so, yeah. If he took the effort to get us a Sybaris, I'll tell you this though, the room would have to have a slide. Don't expand our pets allowed. Wait, you have to be married to stay at Sybaris. Hold on. Single or divorced. What is that? One downibiris. Hold on. Single or divorced. What is that?

One down. One down. One up. No, you do not have to be married. So it's cheating, you know what I'm telling you? Yeah. You'd think they would pick a different name, though, because if that comes up on your credit card.

Should we add this to the wheel? How far is Sibiris? Down or is it up? Northbrook is east. Yeah, it's close. All right. I keep thinking of the Sibian. I don't know, Stern Show.

Oh yeah. Brandon, did you say you go to a hotel every weekend? Just about, yeah. Dirty dog. Every date night is, I have to book a reservation for, yeah, whatever, okay. It's unlike, it was crazy. Yeah, that's the best, you know.

There's four other people at my house, man. Yeah. There's a lot was crazy. Yeah, that's the best you know there's four other people at my house man Yeah, there's a lot of people yeah, yeah, I like to start doing it at the coming little noise. I respect the game I just feel like we kind of blew past that I thought that can you fuck in the country club? Probably not can we fuck in the country club? I don't think so can we get fucked in the country? Are you guys staying at the hotel each weekend? Oh, no. No. No. Couple hours.

He literally is doing a DIY Cypress. Yeah. It's not a DIY Cypress. This is not a crazy notion to go do what you got to do and then get on home. Do you go back the next morning for the free continental breakfast? I have thought about it.

I've thought about it before. I've thought about it before. Oh. That would be great. How many hotels do you go into and get a room a month? How many keys I got in my pocket? No. You collect them like kids

do with the wristbands at music festivals. I got one. You dog. Look at this guy. You should just buy a hotel room at this point. This is no line fetish This is our yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah one right now. This is our eight-footer. This is the You have like rewards points out the wazoo. I mean it's date night. It's it's not just a dinner It's dinner and you know together in a show baby together time together time

Dude on earth you've been together 20 years you gotta spice it up. Yeah variety is a spice of life You need a membership I mean it's it's more he's not. I was looking where it is. Yeah, it's not far And then oh, there's one in Milwaukee. Yeah, that's the total game changer. Yeah Get the slide one though. I would love to just have Brandon to Context tweet a video of him going down And you know he's post-file. Yeah, you know he's going to the pool to wash off. Yeah, I need you down that Dinner date water slide is amazing yeah, that might be the best three things you can do yes I need footage of you down the slide. We do it like that Boston cop. I won't do it for you.

His head back. Oh, where does the body gang know you have eight inches? Oh, I know. Oh, that's them all. That would piss them off. Oh my God. You have to let him know. I don't know. But the problem problem not the eight the problems Are they mincy for sure has a hog, you know, it sees yeah, but does he know how to use a ruler? That's a God isn't fair thing Yeah, but he has a ten inch. I bet you it's fucking perfect. It's yeah Yeah Yeah brainstorming is a new idea for hogs for a cause

My god, I think it's about five six inches. I don't know. I haven't used a ruler knees Steven you want to do the Reese's Sure Reese's peanut butter cups are the perfect combo Chocolate and peanut butter we got them right here Reese's peanut butter cups may be even perfect with a layer of ooey gooey delicious chocolate lava You can buy Reese's cups basically anywhere Reese's peanut butter cups will be featured in the big game. It's lava time, baby Try Reese's new delicious chocolate big lava

cup or no chocolate lava big cup. These are great and they will be a big part of our Super Bowl week plans. Oh, interesting. Are you in the screening big hit? I'm not. I'm going to do the Yak. I'll watch you later. You can go.

Yeah. Yeah. They said they'd send it to us later, right? See you, Will. Oh. Miss you. Farewell. See you, man.

Really good to see you. See you, Will. Hey, we're doing a lot of plinko after Super Bowl. Oh The plinko will definitely be in the case race. We got to have the plinko ironed out. Yeah Case race plinko will go crazy Does everybody have to plinko after each like round of the? These rules I also that's just Determine how many beers you have to drink. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Reach around. Every team gets a different. I like that. Oh shit, we had these the whole time? Have you ever ate one, Brandon? Yeah, this is fucking delicious. No. But I will have one.

Try it, Brandon. Who's the sponsor? I will. Looks delicious. Try it Brandon sponsor well looks delicious My just stop the show I'm just want to see how you handle the big cup. I see a guy like you eat What do you think damn good damn good does daily chick-fil-a make your dick huge? Doesn't hurt. It's a chicken egg. It doesn't hurt. Uhhh.

Um. Alright, when do we say our numbers? Whenever. I already said mine. Were you lying? No. Okay. There's nothing to hide on that. I know, I know. What do you't that I know I know What I know I know what do you know did anyone lie? I don't want it to be true. I didn't lie Yeah, Kate like it's upsetting to me feel. I just wanted you to all be fives. I just

Right here. I'm right here right here Hello Fucking in hotels Right here right here Hello Fucking in hotels You have a cock you don't have a you have a you have a cock yeah, you have a cock yeah Oh my god. I have a wee-wee You might be you might be treading on dinky oh You have a wee- wee wee on a good day, man. You are a cock guy.

I told you all the word for it we use in our house. What is it? It's a ting tong. Oh yeah, that's right, the ting tong. Yeah. The ting tong. Oh man. in our house what is it that's a ting-tong oh yeah yeah the ting-tong oh man this is uh yeah I don't know how to add what it definitely changed this show forever we'll see if it was for the better or worse it would be funny if the show really went to shit it's like they should have never couldn't get out of our heads. That's podcasting 101. Don't don't do length reveal

No who has been quiet who Conrad I agree. Yeah, Conrad's been very quiet. It's got to be thin though. Yeah. Oh, it's like a pencil Can't be a hog, huh? Nugget about the Yeah, we love an interesting there's three distinct pockets there's much larger than the group there is American average and everyone's somewhat close and then there's like kind of a middle but there's three very distinct. Che, you didn't want to say smallest so the

smallest is middle. No the smallest is the American average he went in reverse order there. I've been called distinct pocket. What did you just say? Say it again what you just said there's a large group. within the show the nine numbers that are given okay? There is very clearly three That are carrying the average There's three that are Within the American that's a small average That are the three smalls in the show and then there's three

Just right in the middle, so there's like very large differences between the groups okay wow you don't want that it'd be me Dana beers and will come to my Come on little bikes They're ready to fuck shit up. Hahahaha Hahahaha Hahahaha Here, we need something else to Yeah, there's gotta- What else is there? What else is going on? I can- I got contacts

What? What do you mean? Oh, in your eyes? Yeah. Wow! You can see? That's a life update for the headlines Holy shit! Meet the the thumbnail barstool sports employee who got contacts Yeah, yeah That's nice convenient. How was it putting them in easy? Have you taken them out yet? No. Oh, yeah every night

Yeah, how long you've been wearing them three days Wow What made you do this is it was your eyesight failing? I'm tired of not being able to see and I realize I missed so many faces I can never tell when someone's looking at me. I don't know who it is at the glasses or is that the You have been looking at lack of eye contact oh Facial recognition struggle with no no I can see now which is good was there any surprises? I can see like the chin wrinkles and orbital hollows of my enemies now Makes them feel more mortal was anyone uglier than you You're like whoa beauty stands out as beauty and ugliness is very apparent, okay

Who is the most shocking in the art world? No one. You don't look at this room any differently? Yeah, no one here. What's your prescription? Do you know the number? No. No.

Okay. Okay. All right. It's a good headline. Yeah. There we go. It's a great headline. Do you think you'll ever graduate to LASIK?

Yeah, I would like to. That would be nice. You think you'll ever graduate to LASIK Yeah, I would like to that would be nice does anyone have it Eddie got it they say there's like after it There's just this moment where you wait for your vision to come back and all you see is black with your eyes wide open Don't want that. Yeah, I'm afraid of that moment the balls on that guy the first guy to ever get laced Real Eddie cuz he's just sergeant surgeryed up. Yeah Lisa oh, yeah, I'm real. Oh you man Eddie cuz he's just sergeant surgery it up. Yeah He's like a Miami chick. He got mistaken as black on Twitter yesterday. Yeah, that was awesome Elisa though like it's Yeah, that's to shoot lasers in your eyeballs, right? Yeah, I've been seeing horror stories about it I heard about the sandpaper effect it like there's a chance your eyes just be like sandpaper

I heard about the sandpaper effect. Like there's a chance your eyes just feel like sandpaper for the rest of your life. And like people, yeah. I'm just going with glass. There's also like one in like a thousand. That would happen to me. And those people are obviously the loudest. Yeah.

The one I saw was like, if your LASIK doctor is wearing glasses, don't let him do it. Wow. Cause why didn't he get it done? If he believes in it so much, why is he wearing glasses? Cause he's the only, he's the best guy

and he knows that no one else is as good as he isn't Doing it and he can't do it to himself and Lisa just fix your eyesight forever. Good up glass right? Yeah Yeah, that's crazy, and it's like what seconds like 30 seconds of surgery. Oh my god Yeah, my dad has a dead guy's corneas in his eyes whoa how why and so when the light hits him He's his eyes like shine like a cat's you know that glow sometimes And we why do you? Did he get a cat size killed? Got new eyeballs not whole eyes, but whatever a cornea is they're not his

That's the nucleus of the eye. Yeah, you're a place Yeah, why do you have cat eyes? I think he has to get drops like every day. Okay, I have your eye transplant I was cornea. Uh huh. Corneal transplant or carotidoplasty. Is a surgical procedure to replace a damaged cornea with tissue from a deceased donor? What if he has racist eyes? What if he- It might be, I don't know.

This happens with a lot of like ACL surgeries and stuff. Sometimes they take it from a dead body. Cadavir. Really? But yeah, they have like a glow to them sometimes and he's looking around. Sorry if you're watching dad. Well, no, he's Pretty bad we go golfing together sometime well before my back went out it would just be us it going through like 80 balls We just hit him and just keep on moving. Can you get Lisa or no? I don't think so You go golfing I used to know that big par three course lady Yeah, those are the best a court. We can just use a putt up. What is it the wedge? No pitching wedge pitching wedge all the way through. Yeah, those are awesome. Yeah

I'm happy for you Kyle. Mm-hmm. Thank you hard putting a minute out. That's not really The best I can say. Like I'm bad at my job. It's a little annoying, yeah. Are our ears fucked is like the headphone generation? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we're fucked. Is anyone old enough to like,

for us to know we're fucked? I've had this conversation with Scott Van Pelt. He's like my, his hearing has gotten significantly worse because he's worn headphones for However long like doing radio everything about it. Yeah. No, we're gonna be in trouble It's like hard to tell though if your hearing has gotten worse Yeah, do you guys listen to like say Spotify full volume? I try not to but I was saying we're more fucked because we wear them for work. Oh, so even like this. I think this is actually bad

Yeah Well, why don't we just not wear them because I like to be able to like But watch this just I can hear you talk I always it change when we do when we do it on yeah when we do it Always always we friends ugly What if we made this a new normal I can be Brandon's ass Brandon's a fired fucking piece of shit I'm fucking fucking red shit Brandon. What do you say? You're just gonna start having Che and TJ scream. Yeah. Yes Okay, but that is whatever we take the yak on the road. It always feels weird cuz we're not yeah head phone

Can we headphones is Super Bowl week? That would make me feel better. I can talk to tech. I think it's like a very complicated, I think it makes it more complicated than they would like it to be, but I can ask them for it. Ask them. The Camp Barstool Yak with Will and Taylor

having the side podcast. Yeah. Oh yeah. With no headphones, it's wild. I think it's always like, if you want, it depends on what type of mic you want. It depends on. What about the ones with the mic attached?

Those would... I think that those are generally worse quality than the other mics that they use. It would make it better, because I always do feel so awkward when we're sitting around on a couch and have no headphones. You tired of the six inch conversation? Yeah.

Brandon's got to have the weirdest dick to ass ratio. Oh yeah. He is the country we were talking about. He's the opposite. He can't handle the size. The biggest dicks with the smallest asses. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, last night he asked if anyone has a ruler longer than 12 inches. I thought he was measuring his ass. His dick would break his ass. Oh, he would fucking break his ass. Oh, he would fucking break his ass too. Oh, he'd only get it halfway in there. Yeah.

No butt crack either. Oh, guys, crack either. Okay. She's coming back He's coming back. Oh You thought you had a booger watch just pick your nose who cares Yeah, no, I picked my nose on air all the time has anyone ever gotten their butt crack like surgically smoothed over Yes, get rid of and and it's like just one smooth butt cheek with just a hole. I did that somebody had Have to have done that. Somebody did not have to have done that. What? Had to have done that. But do you know what I mean?

I don't know what you mean. What do you mean smoothed over? People do body mods. Do you think somebody was like, You want somebody spackled in? Yeah, I want my whole butt cracked spackled. And I just want a whole. Yeah, but what's the benefit to not having a butt crack?

Somebody might pay for that. Only fans would be like, what does that look like? I'm just saying somebody had to have done it. Yeah, like if your crack is maybe too long. Yeah, but crack mod I'm sure there's plastic surgery. You're not wrong in a world of body mods That's not the most insane thing probably look how old eight inches dick is sitting over there If I had eight inches you'd be able to see it sitting over there be able to see it It's touching your fucking shit. This is hard like I'm assuming you're not hard right now. Are you hard right now? Are you hard right now?

What's the early read on the Super Bowl we're gonna fucking blow it out Oh, man, is he gonna be like a is gonna be legendary we think TJ like I? Mean Nola the final for Nola trip is my favorite work trip of all time well fuck you that was so fucking more than Omaha Omaha's to Omaha was so much work because I was like 15 hour days Nola was a lot more Omaha was also two fucking weeks long yeah it was 15 days 15 hours ago you did go there for a long long long the college World Series is yes yes weeks it started it started Saturday one Saturday into the next Thursday So we were gonna leave whenever you guys were out, and then you just happen to win the whole other fucking thing

Well damn three month vacation That's crap. I didn't realize that it's like the players are just there for like it takes forever We like if your fan base decides to go there they're there for a week and a half minimum if you will. Yeah I like New Orleans for the final form worried that it's going to be just so packed though for this. Because Final Four is like you're worried that about Vegas too. Well Vegas can handle it. And it was that that last day in Vegas. I don't know what when you guys left. Yeah. You. I think I sat in a car for like 10 of the 12 hours Well, we leave like on Friday. Yeah, and it doesn't really get super radical Thursday true true true

Good point. You know also depends on the teams like we have some yeah, we have some team possibilities That would be I mean like a Bill's Lions bills's Lions the one right? That's what we all want What's the what's the nightmare Ram the Rams? Should she turn out Rams chiefs chiefs would suck those are wait hold on Chiefs bills chiefs and who those chiefs play Texans Rams? Texans Texans is the worst huh yeah cuz those people wouldn't even have to. They could just drive over the day off. Right. What from LA?

No, from Houston. Houston, Houston's three hours away from New York. Yeah. The Houston Rams. Fucking guy. But I said. Must be the football guy. I said Rams.

I said not an NFL guy. You're talking about the Rams. And you're saying Houston. You fucking idiot. But guys, I said Rams, Texans. Yeah. Oh. So the Texans are from Houston.

What's the set? Bill's lines would be obviously one one. Yeah. Okay. Would it be? There we go. Let's see. Bill's Eagles. Bill's Eagles would be really fun. I think Bill's Eagles. I mean, come commanders would be awesome. Commanders Eagles. Commanders Ravens would be even the Ray. Our commanders fans like that. Like they, yeah, they all, yeah, because it's been so long. I think they would be in this scenario. Yes, absolutely. Okay. It's Lions easily in the one side.

And Bills. And Bills easily in the one side. Yeah, yeah, you're right. It's Lions-Bills. That would be the best party scene. So who's number two in both leagues? Lions-Cheese would be fond of her rooting interest. Like everybody in the world would be rooting for the Lions. Yeah.

You don't think Cheese fans would show up? I think they would, but there also is not a fatigue, but if you go to the Super Bowl every year, I think that it changes how many, you know what I mean? It's not like, Alliance tradition. That's not that big of a trip for them, though. Right. It might be tradition. It might be like, every year, this is what we do and our fans become Super Bowl.

Lions would be literally like, this might never happen again. We're all. Yeah, it's literally never happens. Lions bills. Yeah, that's the matchup we want. Yeah, that would be. Oh, my God. And it would be the best like fans like those fans would have such a great time. All right, lines bill. So Roger, if you're listening to this, please, let's make it happen. That's the script. Yeah.

Get that script cooking. Get it going. What do we got on the prep sheet? What did Stephen? There, I'll do an ad, and then we'll do prep sheet stuff. Joe Schmo's Show. Yeah. Joe Schmo's Show is Reimagine, new reality comedy series

premiering January 21 at 9 PM on TBS hosted by five time Emmy award nominee Kat Dilley. The show within a show format takes aim at absurdity of reality TV by making an everyday guy named Ben believe he's competing for a chance to win $100,000 on a reality show unbeknownst to him. He's surrounded by cast of highly skilled improv comedians actors. Everyone except for Ben has come together to pull off the most audacious ruse in TV history. The social experiment is about embracing the hilarity of the game's plays. Over the top, physical humor and action-packed moments

that take pranks to a new height, the Joe Schmo Show premieres Tuesday, January 21st at 9 p.m. Eastern on TBS. So the prep sheet, he was feeling nostalgic today and a lot of these questions are just nostalgia and he goes all the way down to the bottom to one of the worst questions he's ever included. That's a high bar.

Would you rather have $25,000 right now, $25,000 right now if you were never able to wear shoelaces again? I think that's a good question. $25,000 but you can never wear shoelaces again. That's an easy yes. That's an easy yes. I don't know. No it's not. For no shoelaces? What shoes would you wear? Just slip ons? Well what if you wanted to run or play any sport ever again? Hmm. Velcro? What shoes would you be wearing right now by some velcro got you bitch you got oh you got you I don't think he got me bitch there

I don't I think that's not enough money to give away depends on your net worth. I guess 25,000 well, I'm telling you right now somebody wants to offer me 25,000. No shoe laces. I'll do it right here I would feel guilt okay, but I'll do it right now. I would have to switch up you're not giving me 20 really inconvenient like working out. Yeah, you're not giving me $25,000 I'm thinking about it. No, I I you would have I would do it if you had to give me $30,000 back if you ever wore shoelaces again I would actually maybe do this cuz that would be very interesting for a year that would be enough money Maybe right for the rest of your life. That's not enough the rest of your life You can never wear shoelaces again. I might do this

You'd have to bring your own bowling shoes little things like that that you're not accounting for would you do this Steve you? Look what happened good on them. You stop. I'm silly. I Do this I didn't think of like actual reality Asians You stumped him silly. I'll be goddamn. I'll do this. I didn't think of like... Actual reality. ...Asians. Might have to ask 50. No, it's 25.

Still feels like an easy yes. So then let's say yes. You sit down over here. Would you take $25,000 right now cash, but you can never wear shoelaces again? No. Yeah, I wouldn't. Brandon said yes, and I'm thinking about doing it. Oh yeah, buy shoelaces for life.

Right, well it'd be easy for you. Yeah, you're different, you're a girl. What's like the coolest casual shoe without laces? Like a Velcro slip-on? You could do it. You could do it. You could do it. It would be a pain in the ass. Dressing up, you'd beat loafers. Man-Ugs.

You have a big enough... Apparently, you could pull that off. You could do whatever you want. Are cereal in cartoons the ideal Saturday morning? Wait a minute. Yeah. What's your favorite cereal? I think he goes back to the cereal a lot. He does.

He's a cereal merchant. Yeah. Cereal and Saturday morning cartoons. It's undefeated combination. Do you guys fuck with Frosted Mini Wheats, or you think it's too not sugary? I think it's tricking us in. When I could eat them, it was my favorite cereal.

I love them. I liked them. Real soggy. So good. I never got him. Now. I just do peanut butter checks. That's Her to chewy and you feel serious pushing that. Yeah, you're in it. Oh, I love peanut butter checks You can only find it in like target stuff. Yeah And if they're not there if there were if there it was gonna be there, but it's not there. That's me You really yeah, you bastard. I have like seven box If they're not there, if it was gonna be there, but it's not there, that's me. Really? You bastard.

I have like seven boxes in my house. You go to the, what target do you go to? The one on, off, I think it's off Halstead. And it's like- I do the Bucktown, the big Bucktown one. Okay, yeah, no, that's not the one I do. Okay. Yeah, no, that's something. Okay Are we the only country that does cereal with milk no that like an because Kellogg was an American guy He like made it up right? Yeah, I think we might be other countries do a meal

I think we might be the only country that probably Canada What are you pointing at? I'm staring having a staring contest. Oh, what? Does everyone else eat cereal? The Mexicans would love it. Yeah, okay. They eat cold cereal in Switzerland, Germany, China. China. Brandon, what are you doing? I'm staring Ryan down.

Why? Yeah. Distracting. I'm sorry. Try to distract. They're all sitting out there yeah just doing you see page and she's really good on him oh she's great yeah was she that's badass they do that's when the dog got loose look at goldfinger's taking I don't like goldfinger smiling all the time which one could we break

goldfinger's breakable he just just came up to the other days like edited my first podcast today and smiling Alright, dude. You think nice. I think that's your job Do you know that Ryan's like fucking ripped yeah shredding yeah, he's fucking oh yeah, yeah Ryan is yes like ripped Yeah, like 12 abs. Did he post the picture? Yeah? He's still skinny as I don't know he he looks like he's not in shape looks like he's too skinny, but he's not No, he's ripped He's a faint guy. He's a beast. Yeah He don't have stand up there that long. He's gonna faint. Do we find out he was a faint guy last Super Bowl?

That's right. Yeah Yeah anniversary Vegas or 30 miles he really should just do That was a good though Vegas was good set up. It was a good house, but it was too far far Where is it next year TJ? Is it back in San Francisco? California, I've never been there. I like it. It's awesome But what now is the setup because the stadiums in fucking Santa yeah, everyone stays in San Francisco, California. I've never been there. I like it. Love it. It's awesome.

But now is the setup, because the stadium's in fucking Santa Clara. Yeah, everyone stays in San Francisco. So all the week activities done in San Francisco. That's nice. Except for media nights, obviously, in San Jose. That's nice. Yeah.

Or, yeah, Santa Clara. I think they did it at the Sharks Arena. Oh, that sounds lovely. Is the dozen kickoff at the Super Bowl? It is. Yep. Congrats to Dave. Yeah Another another notch on his belt Way to go day well earned Have you guys announced are you doing the full week with like a house in in New Orleans or no, you're going to I?

Am I a talk to you. Oh you want to hell? Yeah. Oh, I don't know if you're going I got to talk to you. Oh. If you want to. Hell yeah. Oh, I don't know if you're going to... I gotta talk to you too, Danny, if you want to. But I didn't know if it was like the house thing again, if it was like... Oh. Yeah, you can come if you want to. We have been talking to Lisa.

We have, I think a couple, I think we have at least one, but maybe two. I think I speak for Danny when I say he doesn't want to go. Okay. So it's your spot. That's not Danny's. I'll let Danny go. They'd probably bring me along for social anyways. Oh.

Are you? They haven't told me yet, but I'm sure. All right, I'll make sure that you are. And then, Kate, you want to go? I got to talk to Pat. OK. I got to talk to the baby dad. Would that be sick?

Fucking. It's been a minute. Yeah, look at this. He's fucking ripped. That's impressive. Yeah. That's like, pit fight club. It would hurt your hand to punch him. He has no it's all muscle

Good lord right at the same time. It doesn't look right. I Just got a new wallpaper. Yeah Gross Kind of gross You won't say that to his face Ryan yeah, you would beat the fuck out of you alright, so Kate yeah you Check with the beef alright Okay, and then Danny

I'll I just texted Lisa and say that we should if you're like there's no reason for you not to go for social because Then you can double dip mm-hmm okay there we go perfect. Oh, yeah, yeah I was I missed you this morning cuz I was doing stuff and Adam will be there right Yeah, wonderful my plan of putting you on the spot on air worked perfectly I actually yeah, I put you on this. I am like sticking back would kind of be sick But then remember it's gonna just be Nikki smokes making a video about how he's the boss. Oh, yeah He's definitely gonna text me on like Monday morning a Super Bowl week being like hey, is it cool if I just boss around everyone? You're gonna say no and he's gonna do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

Last year stuck for us because we had we did mostly at the same time We didn't change the schedule, you know, we were doing it 7 a.m 7 a.m. Vegas time and you had to go to that house which was kind of our half away. Yeah, that was miserable which is you know And the grand scheme of things not an actual problem, but it was still no that was like the biggest problem I've ever had my life Probably the most adversity I've ever faced I'm staying in an Airbnb with Dave and Gruden. Whoa. I'm so excited.

That'll get interesting. Just to be roommates with John Gruden for a week. Like a house or a condo? I think we have like a block of hotels, and then right next to it is an Airbnb. I want to share a wall with Brandon. Oh, yeah. Travel said they booked me in some place like Siberia's.

Yeah, yeah. Danny, yeah, yeah Danny yeah, you're going to the Super Bowl for two hours So what else you got to che we should do punishments for this oh yes, yes, we absolutely should punish Hey, also, are you swimming tonight? Tonight's way yes. Yes. Yeah, we gotta get the video We need the video tomorrow Wait, can you Don't post it, I wanna watch it live on the Yak

I can't promise that Why? Set your phone up The pool we go to is like a kid and old person pool I don't know who else is going to be there But set it up at the end of the pool on the adult side We'll have the lifeguard video you Just be like I'm working on my strokes, can you video this real quick? I'm not gonna put my head up Don't worry. I will be able to get it in the next couple weeks

I can't promise it'll be tomorrow, but I will do together and you also get a GoPro from Cory Rutledge with the head mouse Yes, wait. I think I have something What? What is this oh yeah, oh that's perfect Danny Yeah Oh Yeah, oh that's perfect Danny Yeah Yeah, Kyle. When did you put that under there? Look at that headed for something else Okay

So yeah, Stephen just take care of it. Yeah, Jay. We need it so bad. It's I've been thinking about it non-stop I Will I will get it soon like what time is swimming? I might fucking drive up there Usually like 415 so it's a matter of you don't know if anybody can film it Yes, prop your phone up. There's kids in the pool. He can't like I get what he's doing Yeah, it depends on attendance. Because sometimes there will be other people on the adult side. But you put it at the end of your lap. There's not like a, there's like one adult side and one kid side.

So it's not like there's lanes for everybody. There's no lanes? Oh, you're doing laps in a normal pool? It's like a normal pool. The one that I'm in. Because I'm with my kids I hate I just go to the other side of the one divider. So you're like going under the rope every time even yes What if something had happened to one of your kids while you're face down in the water just churning

They're out. They're out of the pool. Okay. Oh get them to film you If FaceTime is an indication they cannot do that I Need this video so that doesn't matter doesn't matter Let go it's one of those che things. I've been telling random people about I Will chase swimming I will definitely get it in the next couple weeks I Will try and get it tonight if possible. I try can you try hard? try hard yeah try hard it's not it's not really a matter of me it's a matter of like what the attendance is just say you're gonna try hard please just try hard I will try you swear to God yeah I mean if it's if it's

available I'll get it tonight he always he always puts his hand in his shirt when he's lying yep yeah that is a tale of Hey Steve, what was your dick size? All right, so. Those numbers are undisputed. That was hands on his dicks. Did you burn the lengths? I don't want anybody stealing our length bucket. Yeah, I'll dispose of the evidence.

I need it burned. We should replace it with like the survivor voting bucket. So what are our punishments? One of us has to tweet a sincere video coming out. What, did New Orleans bars they never close they open 24-7 I don't know I mean they're It's gonna be crazy down there right with luck We could do a like a someone has to get a voodoo doll made of them Whoa have to act the same way we were treating the voodoo doll

I was gonna say if the New Orleans bars don't close, like, one day before the YAK, someone has to go to the bar at 7 AM. Wow. Oh, another Blackout episode? Yeah, just drink. Let's do that. Drink until the YAK.

Blackout episode. Hard work. Someone's got to do it. Hurricane of Day. What's a hurricane? That's the drink. From Pet. Petalbrim?

Maybe. Someone has to only eat crawfish. Oh. That's the drink from Pat Maybe Someone has to only eat crawfish. Oh Buddy I might do that one anyway, uh, you're gonna I'm either gonna you're gonna eat. I'm probably going all oysters I might go all oysters all week Those are rock hard oysters Yeah, New Orleans food is so good and Then you have the beignets which is that just happens when you get a coffee

Oh antique we antiquing you become a beignet. You got a beignet somebody or Maybe we can make like a gumbo with gross things in it. Mmm gross thing gumbo Plus your tits last year Teddy Go to a psychic unwillingly find out your fortune That fuck you. I should have a psychic on the episode. Yeah an episode. Yeah, we should try to book one team bowling night per last year What we're owed a team bowling night per last year What? We're owed a team bowling night. From who? It hit on the wheel. It hit on my name wheel. So we're gonna do that in New Orleans? When the hell did that happen? I will. I'll do it

Yeah, we should just do it Monday night, and we should video it and we could probably have some good funny videos from Shit I forgot that Jay did that. Last month, last month. No, the rule was no content from it. It's just friendship. That's right. Last Super Bowl on Monday night, you took us to maybe the best dinner I've ever had in my life. Now this time.

Titus and I went back there when we went to the Sphere. I don't know if you knew that we went to the Sphere. I knew you went to the Sphere. I didn't know. Now I don't know if you knew that we went to the Sphere. Yeah, that was before the concert. That might have been the best meal I've ever had. It was.

And you treated us for that Monday night of the Super Bowl just as our treat right it wasn't a big deal now We got to go bowling with Shay instead of going to one of the best restaurants there But is that the restaurant where you met Dan Patrick? Yeah, everything happened that night, but you met him by like standing 12th awkward He sent us a bottle of champagne. Yeah, he did we could do dinner Tuesday night. I Think Monday night is the dozen. I think we should do one epic dinner. Yeah, we do an epic dinner We all wear orange. Yeah, let's do it. Yeah, let's do the yak orange dinner I don't think I have orange in for and not former wear but in decent wear

Well, you better get on my oranges sports jerseys Yeah, we'll do a nice dinner. That was fun last year. That was the best. What about a punishment where Menci gives you a walking tour of the city? Oh, that would show you. Menci day.

You have to have a Menci day. Yeah, during the Yak that day, you have to get, we'll get you hooked up with a, do we have that backpack cam? Menci for a day. You can just check in on them and mincy just talking well your days. I go start to like 1130 a.m.. Oh Someone should have to go get trained in the park by mincy's trainer Demon session speed yes We need a pair video there was we had a lot of apparel yeah speed demon speed demon yas

You'd be a New Orleans saint and just dress like as a clergy like a clergyman. Yeah Dresses drew breeze see if anyone will give you a birthmark do the try to wipe it off. Yeah Yeah, Mark. Oh drew breeze birthmark for the entire week. That's fine. That's good We all do you get like henna cuz that lasts right? Yeah I'll wipe it off, yeah. Yeah. Oh, Drew Brees birthmark for the entire week. That's fine. That's good. We all do. You get like henna, because that lasts, right? Yeah.

That would suck. One person gets to hit a tattoo on their face. Oh, that would suck. Fuck yeah. I'm also just thinking about like we do PMT interviews that we release after the Super Bowl exercise. Two weeks later. What the fuck?

I'm going on vacation after this. Two weeks later. What the fuck? I'm going on vacation after Super Week. Want you guys to know. For three days. I'm very excited. I need a bed. You need to do more than three days. You should take a whole week.

I can't do a whole week. I'll do three days. Well, it's four days. Three days missing. I'm doing vacation first week of March. That's Brandon's, Brandon's gone. You're gonna come back, Brandon will be gone. What? Oh yeah.

I'm gonna miss your last day. Shit. All right. Here is our March Madness countdown. March Madness, yeah. Can't wait. Damn. Big catalog, yeah.

Why don't we name it to the tightest pick? Your favorite week in watch the conference tournament for basketball. Yes That's gonna be oh, yeah, it's the same day as that You know sometimes Words hurt Not me, but sometimes I'll be fine. I'll have new friends. I'll have new friends. CR, Van. I can't name another regular employee right now. CR. You got it. You got it. You got good. Yoss. Yeah, someone's gotta do that. Are you gonna do the last ad,

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Last week was like an infomercial saying, this is here now. Last night, Penta debuted from AEW. He was amazing. He did get a great match. Did he win? Penta, yeah. He won?

He won, he beat Chad Gable Wow Yeah, winning your debut match must be rare and I texted you while right when he was debuted And I said it's gonna be awesome. Did you not watch didn't watch? Well, you should have now. I was watching some uh, I was watching some like indie shit. Mm-hmm. Bernie. You got a big basketball game tonight Well, I mean it's at Auburn. I don't think it's we got a big that I do think we got a big bad Oh, no, I got it's at Auburn. I don't think it's we got a big bad. I do think we got a big bad Oh, I got a big over here. Yeah Yeah, I'll be a big win for you guys Yeah, we're ranked again. Yeah 24

No, we're not gonna. We're not gonna win. I'm sad No, I don't get sad. I'm sad who's gonna win the national championship Duke Probably Auburn if you're yeah, what's all comes back? I was Probably. Auburn if your Auburn comes back. Iowa State? Iowa State's pretty good. Iowa State's very good. Florida's sneaky. Yeah, Florida's very good.

Not sneaky, not as sneaky anymore. Alabama's good. Did you see the Shaq video with the Florida freshman? No. The 7ix9ine kid? Yeah. Show it to us. There's a video with Shaq turning, being tall and then turns around and the freshman

is towering over. What? Yeah. Yeah. Look at it. Oh, is this? Oh my God. Have y'all ever seen Shaquille O'Neal in person? No, I have from a fall. It is the most impressive thing I've ever seen. Just you look at your own dick every night. I most impressive thing I've ever seen just you look at your own dick every night I've seen I've seen some seven footers but Shaq's just a different like I saw yow at summer league I walked right by him and that was that was the biggest like holy fucking shit yeah man I do probably well the one of the more impressive ones I went to a Bears game is probably 2015 or so and Martellus Bennett I don't know why but like seeing him because he's not a lineman. He's a tight end

Yeah, and being like this is like this guy is not even the biggest guy on the field, right? He's just like a tight end fully padded up. Yeah, holy fuck I'll say two guys that college kid or whatever his height are normally like kind of looking that guy looks very Whatever his height are normally like kind of odd looking that guy looks very Off to be seven feet with normal face. Well, he's abnormally he's seven nine seven nine. Whoa Like he should be like dragon. Yeah, he looks super normal. It's weird. He's almost as big as Brandon's penis Almost right there speaking of dragon. Yeah, what number? I don't want to say well the eight is still out there what month My

Mine was very patriotic oh Okay, so the eight still out there the eights out there. I didn't told y'all I think it's I'm July 4th TJ's also been very quiet. He's you just forgot those boys did it I submitted Oh Interesting I'm not the eight okay Better than I thought it was the eight's not not a question the eight is sitting over there. Yeah relaxing. Yeah Kate's back When mark penis pants on this show when Kate you're started eight the state Oh, let's see that

Good point TJ. Let's do some research research on what tightest penis. Yeah. Oh, yeah What is this started that way down his leg? Break this do some research I think it's God forgot about Jay actually when I pissed I pissed in my own ass I've never seen his start above the button of the pants We have visual proof of that I Didn't piss I wedded myself

That's all you can do out of that thing big difference I Had an accident Brandon did you see and those are tight pants? Oh, yeah, all right. That's over. Yep Why was it standing? Cheering I don't think I've ever been happier Little did he know he'd be in the group chat right out before you could even dry off Yeah, all right man, it's good old days that is crazy you were wearing the same crewneck we're exact some crew neck yeah Whenever you wear it's my same crew neck. We're exact same crew neck, yeah. Yeah. It's whatever you wear.

That's my piss crew neck, yeah. Watch out. You leaving the house and your wife's like, again? Yeah. Oh, man. That's when you burned every bridge in the media, the media sphere. We had you for life.

Shit. And trap everyone. Media sphere we had you for life shit Trap everyone All right, what else I mean we're gonna get our court back tomorrow, I think so we bring up KB's contacts Oh, yeah, I'll talk about that in my eyes. Yeah, Che. Give us something. I got a game we could do for mincy Clemur broday, perhaps yes plant We gotta get that planned. Have we got the slippers there? Oh yes, I saw this.

Oh, Air mattress race. Perfect. So what do they do? They gotta go all the way back to the baseline and do it? No, it's a relay. No, I know, but go ahead, Mincy and Clem. They gotta go touch the line again. Oh, that guy's good.

Oh, this is gonna be great visual. Go touch the free throw line. Holy shit. I want mincy to miss Whoever might just get across his Clever might pop the matter. Oh that was close That's a great idea You want to bust one game like one to ten or chase celebrity guessers? Yeah. Oh the one to tens fun chase Oh, yeah, well we haven't we have seen geo guesser in a while. Oh, yeah

Just a couple Whenever we have these doors closed I feel so yeah don't like it caged animals Don't like it. Caged animals. Let me get the doors back open. I sent Brandon when he was out sick, I found Andy Warhol did WWE stuff. Yeah. Whoa.

Wasn't a big sports guy, but he did cross over into- Which tells me that what I say into this mic doesn't always register. Oh, did you say that? We were having that conversation that day. I said, he did WrestleMania. And nobody, and then you went and found found it on your own sent it to me as if you were breaking news to me I did did you play along like that's really cool. No, I didn't respond. I Usually answer Kate we you know, we probably text once or twice a week maybe and that I let that one go He did he let a guy should have known then. Nope. I don't register that at all

I also don't remember Dana beers being being part of the case right now. I didn't either. Okay. Dungeons and Dragons yesterday. Oh, so much fun. Tim Woods is the best guy ever. Just the best vibes ever. Ever.

He's the man. Where's he live full time? New York City, I think. He's gotta get here. Yeah. We're just running games all the time. It's my favorite PMT you guys do. It's the best.

Look, he also told us. It's so good he told us what made me like very happy is the He said 50% of his business now is AWLs. Oh awesome Yeah, so they like fly they he he gets flown out to like hosts and he stays at their home He stays in their guest bedrooms. Yeah, people can book him. Yeah At their home. Yeah stays in their guest bedrooms. Yeah, people can book him. Yeah Wow awesome. I mean that's what we do when we pay him when he comes yeah, but that is that his job

Yeah, full-time job, and we also I think it's not a spoiler. We're gonna go Jen con Jen con you're gonna go to a big one that a big sd and applet is on earth He also said that he LARPs, so we're gonna do a LARPing We're gonna get the whole office to LARP this summer Which we all know what that is but live-action role-playing Foam swords. Oh you just or spells these birdseed for spells. Yeah, we like go and fight like Braveheart. Oh Yeah, it's awesome. That's awesome. I thought LARPing you can be anything I thought what do you love what's the difference between LARPing and just putting on a costume? Costplaying.

They have like actual rules. Rules. It's like an actual, like their parents come and sit in like beach chairs and watch it like it's a soccer game. Like it's a real game. Yeah like if you get hit you have to go down. It's like the Civil War reenactment. Yeah can you find a LARP video?

Yeah the New York office did it last summer. Oh yeah that's right. Like you ever see the movie role models? They do that in there. Yeah. Is he like a big celebrity Roll Models? They do that in there. Yeah. Is he like a big celebrity in that world? He's gotta be. He said compared to LARPers, he's child's play.

Like D&D guys are casual compared to the LARP guys. Okay. This looks like so much fun. He's down in the head, he's dead! Yeah, I think it is Billy taking too far. What the fuck was everybody doing? I want a full suit of armor. Yeah.

I always have one. You have a full suit of armor, don't you? That's chain mail, that's under armor. And I gave that away at our live show. Yeah, you did. Thought it'd be funny to throw out into the crowd like a t-shirt Pounds I

Mean that is funny. Yeah, just a t-shirt cannon for chain mail All right, Che give us geo guess which will you get one right? one two two not consecutive, but just two in general Let's see leaving The shrubbery looks northeast was really sunny Right, I don't have the Sun there that's shrubbery though, right? This is this is aubbery though this is a highway but it's one lane? two? the grass is not mowed well

on either side this could be any of the 50 states this? oh damn quick quick you got 10 seconds i mean this could be some shit like oklahoma Oh, oh, damn. Quick, quick, you got 10 seconds. I mean this could be some shit like Oklahoma. Look at the grass, look how green it is. Yeah.

Seems a little scary. That's true. Gotta pick something. Missouri. Why did it make, George. Ooh, that's Narragusta. That was tough. I would've said Northeast. Oh. Elevation, mountains, water. Okay, what mountain range?

Does anybody see, oh there is water back there. Yeah. Oh, Lakeview. I like this. That makes sense. Oh. Yeah, that's a nice. Oh, Lakeview. Nice getaway right here. Oh, Chicago.

Yeah. That's downtown Chicago. All right, going up in elevation a bit. What is that? I mean we gotta see some life. There's nothing but life on the screen. This is your spot. This is my spot 100%. Trees.

What area do you think it's in? This could be like Pacific Northwest-ish. I like that. I like that guess. Go, Che. I almost want to say Montaigne so you didn't pick the Jay is insane I would have never said-ee's. Uh, there is a... Are those she- Oh no, those are hay bales.

Hay bales, hay bales, hay bales. Oh, oh. Sign, sign. Orange. Brown sign to the right. Yep, yep. No. Oh, brown sign? They're working on... Ah, shit. You see it? Yeah. There's a lot of RVs, so maybe we could be near a national park. Click toward it.

Just can't quite get over that. Go to the other side of the road. Zoom in. National History District Fairgrounds. He might have been right. It's next to a national park. Nine seconds, buddy. Yeah.

Shit. North Dakota, maybe? The horrible not horrible no that wasn't horrible oh here we go this is Melier all right this is easy this type of like brick oh here we go uh-huh the vision okay this this kind of looks like California or Oregon like West Coast type brick. Oh West Coast West Coast brick Archbishop Carol that sounds like the sickest rapper this could be Northeast. Oh, this is like kind of like Northeaster California

Shit after school something this roundabout looks New Jersey-ish. Okay, so maybe mid-Atlantic. Um, this could actually be Illinois. It's either New Jersey, Illinois, or California. Yup. Uh, no, we're going California. What? No.

Damn it. Ah, DC. Ah, you're on it. They usually kill DC. Huh on it. you usually kill DC huh? oh come on Che come on Che just do the guess right now

yes of course come on it's your wheel house is this Indiana? this is too easy I mean farm look for basketball outdated cars you what do you think about that driveway kind of pleasant

it's got the little roundabout just what's what's a vehicle old I mean maybe Indiana it could be Texas could be Oklahoma let me see here we go all right this is a somewhat modern car that's a It could be Texas could be Here we go all right, this is a somewhat modern car. That's a weird car. It's got six wheels. Oh Yeah, I'm gonna say Texas Tough mess We are in the sticks. I was going to say Pacific Northwest based on this,

but this could be like Maine. Could be. American flag, OK. So that rules out what? They couldn't decide what grill they wanted. A lot of grills. Yeah. Yeah. I would A lot of grills. Yeah. Yeah.

I would say too many grills. Yep. See how many grills they got. See how many grills they got. Oh. There we go. Ah, shit. There was a sign right there.

That's a front. Oh, yeah. That was the number. Lee Realty, 376 okay that is I say main oh I guess you need that many grills in Alaska yeah what they say. You're in Alaska, man. I have at least three girls. What is this? There's a lot of power lines over here. Where would a lot of power lines be?

I don't think you're going in there. Ah, this sucks. Hmm. I really don't have much to go off of outside of the power lines. Ah, this sucks. I really don't have much to go off of outside of the power lines, single road. The grass is all dead. That is like a Texas, Oklahoma, Nevada type feel. Yeah? I haven't seen anything. Let's go to Mexico oh boy what was that it's a Wyoming okay here we go we got a train tracks I like that oh peanut butter checks how much right

here's you'll change your life. Ooh. It'll change your life. Here we go. How's that gonna change somebody's life? Trust me. Be prepared to have your life changed. World-class trailers.

Not what I was expecting. Real peanut butter, gluten-free. A little Americana here. But not enough. Yeah. Not enough life. 25 miles an hour, okay neighborhood II Maybe Oklahoma you back to sucking at this game. Come on Steve try some Somewhere in here could be Arkansas

We need a win. How do you miss Indiana? Yeah, no, this is We need a win how do you miss Indiana? Yeah? No this is not This one sucks to skis Indiana move on that's fast and move. Yeah, if you don't know it. Oh, yeah, you do You don't have to wait the entire time yeah, yes fast and go the next one okay. There's some cattle there So he's just not gonna do no He's not we told him what oh All right boom Good work, Jay. Good job, Jay. What do you guys think about the peanut butter shacks amazing? Really good credible All right, let's spin the wheel and we'll have our court back hopefully tomorrow

And hopefully it's chase swimming day It will be he's gonna try hard. He's gonna try the artist oh court back hopefully tomorrow and hopefully it's chase swimming day it will be he's gonna try hard he's gonna try got to artist oh and Thursday we have plink oh we got a fucking figure out plink oh we need a dinner update to from the dinner oh yeah yeah was it mook mook and Dave did they go I don't think Dave and the ginger connors wow you gotta go gotta go Does it change chase swimming knowing he's dragging with eight inch dick? It's not it's a it's a rudder It's an anchor. I Still think you guys are sleeping on

So what's good size? Just say number whatever Just say a number, whatever. Say it, say it, say it. Are you... Just say it, Za. Are you feeling good right now? Just say it, Za. What month would you be in?

Say a month, Za. Any month. Any month you want to in the entire calendar. What's Za doing? Is he eye fucking us? January. No, that's not. No, he's like end of May at least.

I think Zod's the August. I think it's Zod. I'm going to look up who's birthday my dick length is. Oh, yeah. That'd be very fun. Yeah. And that's who we have to dress up as for the case. All right, we'll see you tomorrow. It's the Yak! It's the Yak!

Get your straws yak style and stay for a while It's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak! Yeah it's time to talk shop to do a Yankee swap It's the Yak! It's the Yak! Yankee Swab is the act Is the act