The Yak - We Plan Coach K's Retirement Funeral | Yak 3-24-22
Episode Date: March 24, 2022Coach K is DoneYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Hello.
It is a great day, folks.
It is a Thursday.
It's March.
Line.
Line.
Line.
Line.
March what?
Today's March 24th.
March 24th.
And Coach K is retiring at the end of tonight.
He's coaching his last basketball game tonight.
Frank.
It feels like the end of an era.
End of an era.
Wow.
Bam.
That was a sick explosion.
Let's play on words.
End of an era.
Yes.
His career was just a.
Wait.
What?
You know.
There's Roan.
You know what's going to happen tonight?
What? Coach K is going to happen tonight? What?
Coach K is going to turn to Coach L.
Oh, I'm going to save that one.
I'm unloading the clip right now.
There it is.
I am both financially and emotionally invested as much as you can be in a single game.
I'm all in.
It feels so nice to be all in.
It's crazy how fun gambling is.
It's so much fun.
And also just like the idea that I'm,
like every tweet I've made today
has the chance to be thrown back in my face 10x
in just a horrific, horrific manner.
Like car crash level manner.
And I don't care because I'm confident and I'm not going to be afraid
and I'm not going to let the Dukies bully me.
I'm going full forward and I'm just going to keep tweeting
about how I am personally ending Coach K's career.
You have a mischievous look in your eye.
I do. I feel good.
You have all day.
It's almost like I know the result before it happens.
Holy fuck.
Yeah.
Did anyone think that might be the case?
A little seer.
You kind of see the future.
The crystal ball is out.
Maybe a little someone told me exactly how it's going to go down.
I would believe that you have time travel money.
Uh-huh.
Dude, I was thinking about that the other day.
Like if I could imagine if you could time travel a week ago today
and know all the
results like would you go would you just put out every single winner or would you kind of slow play
it just so that yeah i'd go like 78 no i would go 100 but i'm saying would you like oh no would
you say every single game or would you like hold a couple, or yeah, just a pick a night.
Yeah, or just do a $10 parlay with 12 picks.
That's how every time travel thing unravels.
I think that's why time travel doesn't exist,
because it's too powerful to use in gambling. Gambling, yeah.
Back to the future, that's how it got ruined,
because the guy busted open the almanac and he started betting on stuff.
Early edition.
Early edition.
The one where early edition gets dicey is because someone gets the newspaper
and starts gambling on the game.
That little tabby cat.
1963, a series on Hulu, has the same trope.
Is that true?
Yeah, James Franco goes back in time to save JFK.
Jay Frank?
Can't help himself.
I'm more a Dave Franco guy myself.
Dave?
Yeah.
Always was a Dave Franco guy.
James has a little bit.
He has the cloud around him, allegations.
I did a movie promo with Dave Franco.
Oh, Mike and Dave need a wedding.
No, it was Neighbors 2.
You guys played beer pong, right?
Beer pong and champagne.
It was very awkward.
How was it?
Very awkward.
Or how was he at beer pong, though?
I can't remember.
Oh, look at Pete.
He's wearing a fucking rain jacket.
It's like barely drizzling.
Actually, I need you and Pete to talk.
If we could get Pete Allen at some point today, I need Owen and Pete to talk.
Yeah, can we get him in here?
Should we spin the wheel, Frank?
Sure, spin the wheel.
I mean, it could be a wet day.
Could be.
Feels like it.
Feels like it could be.
Should we bring anybody else in?
Take Fleming, for those that don't know.
There he is.
Are you going to take that gun off your waist if you go in the shower?
Well, I have to take the cell phone off.
Oh, I thought that was a small gun.
That's a cell phone.
I thought it was a gun.
Always keep that thing on you?
Yes, I do.
He's packing.
Passes draw in the west.
What's her name?
What's the woman in your phone's name?
Bixby.
Bixby.
Do you use Bixby to text me?
No.
Now, Frank, I see you're wearing a dolphin shirt today.
Yes, I am.
What are your thoughts on Tyreek Hill as a person?
He's a good football player.
Oh, there, good answer.
What about as a person, though?
You're dodging the question, Frank.
He's a good football player.
You've had a slew of sports success recently.
If there's any further proof that the Fleming curse is completely exercised,
that those demons do not exist anymore,
it's the fact that incredible things are
happening to the Dolphins. Incredible
things are happening to the Nets
because Kyrie can play again.
Well, James Johnson could still play in it.
The Nets might win
it all, Frank. No, they're not.
James Johnson's gonna...
We're not gonna let you do this. Why would
James Johnson even play into your thinking?
Because he plays too much on the fucking court. What about the Mets? Well, we'll see what to let you do this. Why would James Johnson even play into your thinking? Because he plays too much on the fucking court.
What about the Mets?
Well, we'll see what happens to the Mets.
You know, if they say healthy, they should win at least 90 games.
Oh!
I mean, everything is coming up Frank right now.
Frank is absolutely glowing in gold like Scrooge McDuck.
I'm absolutely terrified that Kyle Schwerber is now with the Phillies.
Yeah, he's going to hit yabos in your face.
Him and Castellanos.
He's maybe my favorite baseball player in the last, like, ten years.
You realize last year he batted 800 and had an OPS of 25.
Oh, I know.
I love the man.
He just mashes taters.
He had a one-weekend series in Washington.
The Mets lost four out of five.
It was a five-game series with a couple of doubleheaders torn in there.
And he hit eight home runs in the four games.
That's not a Fleming-like exaggeration.
He actually did.
He must have hit, like, four home runs, Frank.
And you're just exaggerating.
No.
Eight full home runs, Frank?
Now he's a Philly.
Philadelphia is going to love Kyle Schwarber.
And basically every ball that he hit,
it wasn't just a ball that scraped defense.
It was like 400-foot homers.
Still haven't landed.
Oh, man.
The Phillies are going to be incredible.
And then a couple months later,
after he got traded to the Red Sox,
the Mets had a two-game series in Fenway, and I was actually there.
Did it again?
He went, like, in the two games, went, like, six for eight with two home runs.
And two home runs, two doubles.
It was just like.
What a monster.
I mean, every time he came up, the ball just was, like, launched.
Oh, look at that.
We got new graphics for Frank.
Wow.
Again, TJ.
Whoa.
Tank explosion.
Sass is out.
He's on a mental health break.
Brandon is out.
He's on a mental health break.
Yep, yep.
KB is out.
He's on a mental health break.
He's sad about wrestling.
Wrestling.
Nick is out.
I don't know what his deal is.
Is he mentally okay?
Yeah, it seemed more sexual.
I think he's abused.
Is it a sexual health break?
He's on a sexual health break.
He's got an outbreak of something.
So this is actually the true alphas, Yak.
Only the strong survive show of the Yak.
The pullers of the Yak.
It's A to not be okay, boys.
Steven Che is out.
He's on a mental health break. Oh, Zah. On TJ It's A to not be okay, boys. Steven Chay is out.
He's on a mental health break.
Oh, Zah. On TJ's Strong Men.
They don't feel it.
They're the last of a dying breed, boys.
It is crazy.
They don't make men like us anymore.
Don't let them see you sweat like Dave said on the show.
It's Irish trad cats just burying it with whiskey.
Yeah, we just stuff that shit down.
Who the fuck cares?
Yes, dude.
Sometimes I do look in the mirror and I'm like, am I the fucking most strong mentally human being alive?
And the answer is yes.
I think it might be.
I think we all might be tied for the strongest mentally.
Frank, does it ever get to you?
Do you ever say, hey, I need some mental health.
I need a mental health break.
Unflappable.
Yeah, right?
We're not laughing at it, it but bam right there in your face
oh should we should we rank the people who are most likely or who are the least likely to ever
have to take a mental health break i think it's one through six right here however you want to
rank it yeah and i mean it just seems like it gets everybody yeah it does except us i know i feel like
one of the people who never got COVID.
I've gotten COVID.
You did get COVID, right?
Yeah, I got COVID, yeah.
But those people are incredible.
I don't know how they did it.
Is there a new strain?
Yeah, there's a spike in New York going on right now.
God damn it.
You hear that, Frank?
Well, you know, I've come to the conclusion there are people that are actually, I call them pandemics,
that actually are rooting for COVID, rooting for all restrictions to come back.
Love the restrictions.
I will say, in their defense, and it's crazy, you are right, Frank,
there are people who actually want the world to get shut down.
I do kind of miss that one to two weeks
where it was like an extended snow day.
Yeah, just an extra little vacay for us.
After that, it sucked.
It was terrible.
I don't want to go back there,
but it wouldn't be bad if we were like,
hey, everything's got to shut down for a long weekend.
Yeah, and there being no end in sight at the time.
It's incredible for a little while
because you just have nothing to do.
Right, and you just catch up on TV and just bum.
Buying random shit online.
I was walking around in a weight vest.
Yeah, that was sweet.
That was sweet.
I think the people who wanted it to last forever maybe were doing that kind of lifestyle before.
I think that's-
They were happy that nobody else was doing anything either.
I agree with that.
I'd like to interview someone who's like has still not left their apartment there
there's tiktok comments and stuff that it's like oh we're super spreading
it's like no oh we're super spreading you found out people that were like uh like when they were
talking about the uh easing of mass mandates there these guys are standing on in on the steps of like
city hall and they're singing uh just because you're tired doesn't
mean it's over mass for life mass for i don't think they actually were singing that song yes
they were that was sounds good it was word for word what they were singing uh for the most part
yes it was actually i like what he legally got himself out of that for the most part. That was Goodly. The line was,
Just because it's tired doesn't mean it's over.
Mass for you.
Mass for me.
Mass for everyone.
Mass for young.
Mass for the elderly.
I know the words to that song.
You know, I could actually picture this.
It's almost like these people who I call the Fandemics
are like that meme of everyone watching in the bar
when Stefan Diggs scored that touchdown
and everyone just starts jumping up and celebrating.
Wait, which one?
Originally a soccer clip, I believe.
Oh, that was a soccer clip?
You got triple-T'd.
Remember?
Diggs is the one everyone remembers it for.
I actually don't think it was legitimate of Stephon Diggs.
No, you got triple-T'd.
Remember the triple-T tavern that Dave used to troll people with?
They throw everything up on that screen.
Ah, okay.
I've seen videos of Dave on that screen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've seen that.
Which ones?
But I actually don't think it was legitimate. I've seen that. Which ones? But I actually thought that was legitimate.
I thought that was like
a Minnesota Wild hockey game
and people just watching
like in a bar area.
And I actually thought
that was literally,
legitimately Stefan Diggs.
And I thought that was
the origination of that.
I want to actually have Quiggs
when he's listening to this later,
make that,
make the triple T
with Coach K collapsing.
I'd like to have that on deck
later tonight. I'm like to have that on Tech later tonight.
I'm going to have a clip ready to empty after this game.
And if I don't, if – no, you know what?
Tech Tech is winning.
I already know it.
You know, last week –
I know the future.
Last Thursday night, I had the 708 parlay.
That's true.
That's the one-week anniversary.
The 708 parlay. Would you put $5's the one-week anniversary. The 708 Parlay.
What'd you put?
$5 on, like, nine games, and you hit them all?
I put $10 on seven games.
I won them all.
I got $900.
Whoa.
Holy shit.
How'd you spend your money?
Well, I actually reached up to as much as $3,000 on the sportsbook,
and it's gone down a little bit since then.
But, you know, I thought I had figured out blackjack.
Ah.
It was over.
I don't think so.
Hey, should we spin this wheel?
Because if we do have to get wet, we should get on it.
Yeah, we should do it sooner than sooner than later.
Or if we have to get Lomo Saltado, we should get on it.
Yes, exactly.
All right, here we go.
So I do not want Saltado, but I wouldn't mind getting wet.
Oh, almost a wheel reset.
All right.
So we're just, it's coming soon, boys.
The only thing that can save us is a wheel reset.
Yeah.
What were we just talking about?
I feel good that we have, you know, the wheel is back in a good spot where we where we respect it
it respects us we don't lean on it but it doesn't control us it doesn't loom over us like a dark
cloud yeah i will say i have i should be ready for tomorrow a new method of deciding things
that's in beta right now oh shit can we get a look look? A method? Well if it's in beta
give us a little beta.
Give us a look.
The way I'll tease it is
remember that time
that we used to watch
those Marble Race videos?
Yes.
And get really excited about it?
Yes.
Tune in tomorrow.
Let's pop one on.
Pop on a Marble Race.
Alright.
I want to watch a Marble Race.
Yeah.
Man I wish the
Barstool Sportsbook
would take action
on Marble Races.
I wish you could just dip in on the old Bar's watch a marble race i'll pick a pick a marble i'd love to pick a marble what would you guys do if you uh while while it's loading up
if you could relive the beginning of the pandemic again what would you have done differently would
you have for me it'd be like buying stock and like fucking like hand soap or
some shit like that or like loading up on certain items i i would have moved yeah i would have moved
out of new york yeah i would like not even i i probably would have just like gone to like long
island or somewhere with with the backyard grass or i was very jealous of the people who i knew
people who once they got news it was work
from home just like moved every month and like worked out of different airbnbs and like stuff
like that that's smart you know what you know a pretty cool you know we're gone somewhere like
nice warm pool tropical yeah oh yeah that would have been fucking sweet yeah you know what some
of the worst parts of the of the early pandemic or when they were literally shutting down parks the deaths oh i thought you meant the deaths
open like like i don't know much worse than much worse than the fact that people couldn't go into
some parks oh no no i'm not talking i'm talking about just the the just the conveniences and
stuff like that right but the that but that's worse than the deaths.
And then they opened them back up pretty quickly for the race riots.
Yeah.
They did.
What a wild time to be alive.
Do you remember, Rodney, you had some playgrounds.
They were actually putting two by fours.
You a big playground guy?
No, but you missed it for the kids.
The principle of it.
Think about the kids who couldn't play in the playgrounds.
Frank's just driving around New Jersey like,
Nutter playground closed.
Nutter basketball court with a 2x4 over the hoop.
I was about to get my hoop game.
I was about to work on my jump shot.
That's what I was talking about.
That really reached silly levels, some of the stuff that was done.
Give us an explosion.
Oh, all right, here we go. So we all get to bet on a marble? some of the stuff that was done. Give us an explosion. Yeah.
Oh, all right, here we go.
So we all get to bet on a marble?
Oh, wow.
All right, so pause it before so we can pick it.
And then what's the loser?
Let's say loser.
Loser gets, like, mildly wet or, like, has to do, like...
Buy lunch or something?
Yeah, buy... Or, yeah, dude. Where do we get the colors do... Buy lunch or something? Yeah, dude.
Where do we get the colors?
Somersault or something like that?
Do something.
Loser has to roll down the hallway.
He has to call Erica.
Oh, wow, this.
This is cool.
Oh, countries?
This isn't even the top level of this.
Jail's marble runs, which used to be on ESPN, is like the top level.
There's like 19 teams and there's a relegation.
Wait, so we're doing countries here?
Is it four at a time, or is it all of them at once?
Hold on, pause.
All right.
There they are on the top left.
You pick first.
I'll pick then.
Yeah.
I'm going to take USA.
Wait, which one's USA?
On the top left, it says one, two, three, four.
Oh.
This one.
That one's USA?
All right.
I will take Colombia.
Ah, very nice.
Yellow one?
Yeah, yellow one.
Go ahead, Owen.
Frank, what would you like?
I'll take Argentina.
I'm going to do Argentina as well.
Okay, so Argentina.
So, Frank, you have Chile.
Chile.
Chile. And. Chile.
And then Loser.
There's going to be – should we do overall winner gets to buy lunch for everybody?
Who has everyone eaten lunch?
No.
I just had a bowl of chili.
Loser has to buy hot dogs.
Okay.
For the crew.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Loser buys hot dogs.
All right, Loser buys hot dogs.
Of this race or of the entire thing?
How many races are there?
It looks like there were 16.
It's like a tournament of countries.
You can just do this race.
How long does the race last?
I don't know.
This whole video is 15 minutes.
Let's do...
15?
No, we'll do it wheel style.
Winner is eliminated and doesn't have to worry about the next race.
And then the other three are in the next race.
And the ultimate loser has to buy hot dogs.
That's incredible.
Okay?
Love it.
I like this.
Just better to get back into Marvel races.
All right, here we go.
Had to go USA for my boys.
That's kind of bullshit what you did.
For imperialism.
I like my start.
Nope.
Oh, no. USA's jammed. The freaking kind of bullshit what you did. For imperialism. I like my start. Nope. Oh, no.
USA's jammed. A freaking thanks, Biden.
I'm last.
So you're just trying to win this one.
Don't lose. Don't be last.
Who is that? Who's in first?
Is that Argentina?
Will they go up? Yeah, that's Argentina.
Frank, you're doing well. No, that's me.
That's Owen. Owen sniped
Argentina. Oh, man. I'm in trouble. I'm in trouble. At least you're on the map. No, that's me. That's me. Oh, it's SnipedArgentina. Oh, man.
I'm in trouble.
I'm in trouble.
At least you're on the map.
No, I'm not.
Look, it's circling the drain.
No, dude.
I'm not even.
Oh, there you are.
That was you.
I'm so far back.
You guys remember talking about the lost porn that you can never find?
Yeah.
Wait, Chile?
Frank, you're looking good.
Yeah, but it just keeps spinning around.
I mean, I...
Yeah, there's one porn video that I can't find that I've been looking at.
Oh, you just lapped me.
Oh, Frank won.
Frank's out.
Fuck.
Well, Frank, you don't have to buy the hot dogs.
Mine was something along the lines of Argentinian lesbian hula hoop,
but I've never been able to find it.
Oh, damn.
Hula hoop?
What the fuck type of shit are you on?
I came all the way back to finish seventh grade.
It was when I was going to straight titties.
All right, next one.
Find some chick giving a blowjob in a hotel room.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
She's got a brown shirt on.
Pause it.
Brown shirt?
Big tits.
A brown shirt's a funny color.
It's like it's got laces in front.
I don't know.
Cool.
Someone tweeted at me.
Frank, you get to pick.
Or no.
No, no, Frank's out.
Frank's out.
So I guess, Owen, we go back?
Yeah, whoever finishes first.
I finished last.
Yeah, whoever finishes first in this one.
So they don't have to finish first overall, but first of us is out.
Okay, Owen.
India.
I'll go. Don't do it. Do not do it. India. I'll go...
Don't do it.
Do not do it.
Yeah, I'll go Russia.
Oh.
Bad boy.
If we're being bad boys, I'll be Germany then.
Okay.
I'll be Germany.
All right.
Which one even is Germany?
I'm Russia.
I think I'm in first right now.
I'm in first.
Okay, Germany's right there.
Oh, that's a
heated fucking... Oh, boy.
Who's going down first? Oh, Russia.
Oh, Russia.
Here comes Germany.
Fight, Germany.
I wish it was a different track.
I wonder if the
marbles know to let Russia win, like when
Putin plays hockey. Yeah.
Who's in charge of India? I think England I wonder if the marbles know to let Russia win like when Putin plays hockey. Yeah We charge a eg England is in first and they don't no one has one has it towards look at this
this oh
Shit that England something happened. No, I'm in last
Frank's really getting tickled
by this.
Laugh it up, Frank.
Yeah, laugh that shit up.
You're going to hate it when I'm
buying you hot dogs later.
That's England.
India, Russia.
Oh boy.
Oh boy, this is tight.
This is tight. is tight Oh no
Oh no
Oh
That's me
Oh
Yes
I'm out
I'm out
So it's me and Owen
Who can get in
Yeah you guys are next
You gotta do one more
Yeah
And then that's Owen
Oh my gosh
Fuck
That was
That was intense
Owen you wanna both pick two
Yeah
I think you both pick two
This is fucking sweet.
Yeah, this is exciting.
This is really exciting.
I can't wait to get hot dogs later on.
Me too, dude.
We're getting them right now.
Where are we ordering from, Frank?
I think the only one that really sends things is that Chelsea Papaya.
Papaya dogs?
Yeah.
Frank, you should open a hot dog place called Fleming's. Well, I was thinking about Frank's Frank's. Oh, Frank's Frank's is better. Oh, yeah. Frank, you should open a hot dog place called Fleming's.
Well, I was thinking about Frank's Frank's.
Frank's Frank's is better.
Oh, shit.
Roan, are you a battle rapper?
That's kind of my wordplay.
That's my type of wordplay, Frank's Frank's.
Frank's Frank's.
Fleming's has already a steakhouse.
Yes, it is.
I've never eaten at a Fleming's steakhouse.
And then maybe one of the dogs dogs You can do a pizza dog
And call it the Nunzio
Ah, the Nunzio
Or you could serve them with cabbage
And it could be whatever your Irish
Sushi dog with hideki
You still gotta make your book, Frank
Bad luck Flemings
Well, I'm also part German
So it could be the sauerkraut
Ah, very nice Franz Fleming That's how World War III started luck fleming's well uh i'm also part german so it could be the sauerkraut ron's fleming now world war three started you know it's just be adolf
fleming yeah you know i i got getting ready for two weeks from today uh baseball opening day i'm
going down to washington for the uh home from the season opener dc yes oh Maybe in your book, Frank, it will be like Germany and
Japan became
allies in World War II because
of Hideki and Adolf
Fleming.
They're at a
cookout, a Fleming cookout,
family reunion, and they're like, hey, we should take
over the world. The two of us, yeah, we should take over
this cookout. Who is the third-act member
that acts as powers?
Yeah, Nunzio.
Yeah, Nunzio.
It should all be based
in a cookout.
The whole book
is based in a cookout.
It's like,
who's going to take over
the cookout?
Yeah.
Kind of describes it
to the children.
Oh, like a little
animal farm?
Yes.
Yeah.
Something like that
where you don't really have to
Vladimir Fleming.
Zone in on the genocide
or anything like that.
You kind of make it fun.
Frank, I think, should it be a hot dog stand?
Should it be a truck?
Should it be a car?
Should it be brick and mortar?
Online?
Gold belly?
I like a stand.
Frank's Frank's.
But who's going to run it?
You're not going to stand in there.
You need a celebrity stand.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
I mean, I'll definitely need a manager.
Yeah?
Yeah.
How much do you think it would cost to open up a stand?
I don't know.
I just could probably do it with Cameo. How much do you think it would cost to open up a stand? I don't know.
I could probably do it with Cameo.
I seriously think you could, Frank.
I think that the only thing that's going to get you back is your want. Definitely partner up with Feltman's.
Feltman's, Frank's, Frank's.
Yep.
Frank's, Frank's by Feltman.
And what about the rolls?
Where would you get the rolls from?
Well, I did potato rolls go with Feltman's.
Can we find a different marble race for this one for the final?
I'm kind of bored of that.
Track is a little bit.
Track, yeah.
I want a crazy track.
Yeah, wild track.
It's a wild-ass track for this last one.
That would be sweet.
Yeah, Frank, I'd like to get some skin in this game
if you're inviting people to have skin in the game.
I'd love to be an angel investor.
Yeah, angel investors.
I've been watching a lot of Shark Tank the last two nights,
so maybe some VC for your boy?
Now, Frank, the biggest question, though,
before Roan and I invest,
which Roan Cat Management will invest.
We'd love to.
Will you be getting high off your own supply?
Oh, discounts for even you, Frank.
No, no.
Yeah, Frank, we're looking at the books, and we're like, where did all these dogs go?
And Frank's just sitting there rubbing his belly.
I'll be at the table like Tony Montana.
Putting his nose down.
Just a pile of raw dogs.
Going nose down in a pile of dogs.
Snorting off a bunch of dogs.
Oh, we should remake Scarface where it's just Frank is a hot dog salesman.
Oh, my God.
Like taking over the other, like taking over Nathan's in New York.
Oh, Frank.
Let's do it.
The chainsaw scene, it's just a hot dog you're cutting up.
Hot dog bits.
No.
Limp it out into the street with a suitcase full of hot dogs.
Maybe we make it like live action.
All the actors are just hot dogs.
Yeah, like-
Say hello to my little friend, little Frank.
It's a mustard bottle.
Spraying mustard all over.
This is a good idea.
These are good ideas. Someone write these down, please. This is really good. You know, you just let us riff a mustard bottle. Spraying mustard all over me. This is a good idea. These are good ideas.
Someone write these down, please.
This is really good.
You know, you just let us riff a little bit.
Frank's starring in every movie.
We should just make Hollywood for Frank.
Cinematic universe of Frank, and it's only Frank and hot dogs.
The extended universe.
I'll make him an offer.
I'll make him an offer.
We can't refuse.
Yes.
Yes, Frank.
And instead of oranges
to signify death,
the tot dogs.
Yeah.
We could do like,
what was the movie?
The Boy's Life?
Where they filmed
for like 20,
Boyhood?
Yeah.
Just like starts
with a little cocktail wiener.
Stop being a three foot long novelty dog in a ballpark you know uh i went to uh i went to uh
universal uh city walk down in uh tampa a couple months ago and uh they have this one uh hot dog
place which is baseball themed and they have like uh seats from former major league stadiums
out there or seats that were once used at major
league stadiums and been renovated and uh well they have a uh a two foot long what you call
like a bat dog oh what's a bat dog is it a bat or a hot dog it's it's a it's a two foot long hot dog
just preserved in a museum remake the patriot and the british soldiers your hamburgers
yeah aim small miss the americans are hot dogs just sniping off hamburgers
the great hamburger versus hot dog war you should do it frank remake uh braveheart and a hamburger
rapes the hot dog and frank comes through and murders the fucking hamburger.
We make Forrest Gump, and it's just like the most famous.
It's like a hot dog being eaten by Kobayashi.
The most famous hot dog.
Yeah.
Hot dog is that like Joe Carter's walk-off home run.
All the famous places.
Hot dogs.
Everything placed like the 96 Olympics.
Hot dog.
Yeah. Yeah. Hot dogs, everything. Like the 96 Olympics. Hot dogs, yeah.
Hot dogs being eaten right by the bomb.
And it was really the hot dogs that found the bomb.
It wasn't the guy.
World history through the eyes of a hot dog.
There was a movie, I forgot what it was called,
but it has Bill Murray in it playing as FDR.
Caddyshack.
I think he's Caddyshack.
Caddyshack. Caddyshack.
No, he's playing FDR.
Training Day.
I watched last night.
What About Bob is such a good movie.
I actually think What About Bob is my favorite
Bill Murray movie.
He's meeting with
the... Groundhog's Day. He's meeting
the king.
Austin Translation. Last King of Scotland.
And they're actually bonding over hot dogs.
Hyde Park on Hudson.
Armageddon.
Coming to America?
What was that?
Titanic.
Hyde Park on Hudson.
Hyde Park on Hudson.
I was so close.
I thought I said that.
I was so close.
And they're bonding over hot dogs.
And FDR introduces the king and the queen to hot dogs.
Wait, so if we...
Did they steal our idea or did we steal theirs?
Still ours.
It just came out in the last couple seconds.
Schindler's List and they just save a bunch of hot dogs?
We could have saved more hot dogs.
This Fitbit.
This Fitbit could have saved a hot dog
Could have saved a whole eight pack of hot dogs
All these kosher hot dogs
Let's change them
Let's make them Feltmans
Oh they got
They got pork asshole in them
They're not kosher hot dogs
Well uh
As the Nazis show up
Well remember
No no
These are not
These are
These are Nathan's originals.
Remember, Feltman's is 100% beef all-natural hot dogs.
Oh, nice.
No pork's asshole.
Oh, very nice.
I didn't realize that.
Do we have?
Do we have?
Maybe Parasite, but a hot dog started COVID instead of a bat.
Oh, I like that.
I don't know any movies but i watched uh a futile and
stupid something about the making of uh national lampoon caddyshack animal house last night oh
wait it was great the what was it a futile and stupid act a futile and stupid gesture
is that is that the biopic of the game?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was good.
It's kind of similar to Barstool.
Yeah.
The Omen.
The Omen being remade with hot dogs.
You see a hot dog and you're going to die within seven days
or something like that? Or is that the ring?
Gremlins.
Sixth Sense, I see eating hot dogs.
Avatar, but instead of blue dicks, they just have Feltman's hot dogs.
We could go on forever.
Yeah, we're milking it.
I love it.
Oh, man.
It's truly lovely.
What, yeah, give us, you got another one, Zah?
Before we marble race, I want to direct your attention to this tweet.
Oh, fuck this guy.
Oh, what a bitch.
Why did he lie?
Shame.
Hold on, I'm going to call him first.
Oh, never mind.
He's going to lose.
Damn.
Damn, Jared. I just don't know why. He's going to lose. Damn.
Damn, Jared.
I just don't know why.
Bring him in here just so you can kiss him on the mouth.
He went against KB yesterday, too.
Don't ever go against the hot dog.
You can't go against the hot dog.
I'll tell you just once.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
What, bro?
He redid it.
He undid his bet?
He redid it.
Go look.
What do you mean?
He put another 5K on Peck?
So he's just going to lose $600.
Can he cash out?
True.
He did, look.
You guys thought I was a sucker, huh?
Hey, Big Cat, I cashed out for $250 less and put it on Peck.
I couldn't live with myself.
Let's ride.
What a legend. Earlier. Yep.
Good for Jerry.
I like that Jerry takes fucking big bites out of the ass. Oh, he goes for it.
He fucking takes hacks.
He's not trying to fucking nickel and dime his way into a fucking fortune.
He fucking wins.
No, he picks his spot and just pounces.
Picks his spot.
He can permanent.
What a crazy way to live.
That's the way I gamble at this point, too.
Really?
Yeah.
I just want something on everything.
That's my fucking problem.
Jerry, are you doing it?
Did you see my tweet?
Yeah, I saw the first one.
I got scared, and then I saw the second one.
That's right.
Fuck yes.
Yes, Jerry.
Make it permanent.
I got a hat for you.
I got a visor for you
You're gonna look great in
Perfect
See you in 20 minutes
It's gonna win Jerry
It's gonna win
Alright perfect
I'll see you in 20 minutes
Alright bye
Make it permanent
Did that start
Did that start then
Did that start over the
This past weekend
Yeah
Where did it come from
He's so fun
He's so fun to gamble with.
He has this guttural Bane voice
that he could tap into
when he's betting,
and it's awesome.
Yeah.
Otherwise, he just has this cute existence
and then he fucking taps into this.
He was born in the dark.
He also does this little thing
where he'll just pump himself up.
You just hear him whisper.
You just go, Jerry.
Jerry. He just says go, Jerry. Jerry.
He just says it to himself.
Jerry.
That is sweet.
Frank, I couldn't be more serious about opening up this hot dog stand.
We need a good manager.
Doug's just trying to tell me to do that too.
Well, we're going to cut out Doug's.
Let's take Doug's hand out of that pocket and put Roan Cat Management's hands in that pocket.
Look at what we've done.
We've got Caleb.
He just went and interviewed Hezbollah, one of the best golf teachers of all time.
Brandon just got a new contract.
He owes us.
You guys begged Dave to give Cooper that shot.
Yep.
Finally, Alex is making some money on her own, which we're very happy for under our tutelage.
And Frank, you could be the next success story.
Bags to riches.
On Shark Tank when they go back and they're like,
oh, this person was a pauper,
and now they're fucking living at the Taj Mahal
with gold-plated shoes.
How's that sound, Frank?
Gold-plated shoes?
That sounds nice.
Look at this fucking idiot.
Look at Marty.
Come here.
Come here.
Come here. Come here. Come here.
Come here, you bitch.
All blue.
Marty, blue head to toe.
What do you think about Jerry?
He's a scumbag.
He picked for a hot dog for a dick on the avatar body.
Marty, it's the correct bet.
When you're a Duke fan, you can't bet against your team.
Texas Tech is going to win, and all of these guys are going to be rich
because they took their fandom and put it aside.
I'm going to look at you, and you're going to be really upset
that you lost a lot of money, and I'm going to make fun of you.
Coach K's career is over.
It's not.
It's over.
Do you think the refs are going to let that happen to him?
It's over.
You don't think the refs are going to be in there?
I'm just saying.
It can't be a ref show if Texas Tech is up 15.
They're not going to be up 15.
Yeah, they will.
They can't go like that.
They will be up 15.
Hey, Marty, what letter comes after K?
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, L.
Oh, he walked into that one.
Frank got his ass.
That was pretty good.
See you, bitch.
Bye-bye.
You're going to be upset.
That's all I'm going to say.
You are.
And it's going to be a heated stream.
I want to lick your tears.
I will literally lick your tears off your face.
I'm going to enjoy making fun of you for the first time.
Great, great.
Is it just you against everybody tonight, Marty?
I feel like you got Rico's against you, Jerry's against you.
Well, usually they put a huge bet on Duke as well.
Just real quick, when the Eagles play, right?
Yeah.
You usually have, you know, you got your Eagles fans.
Yes.
Two of my Duke fans bet against them.
This is like Fran and Smitty betting against the Eagles, you're saying?
Yeah, Rico.
They're just alone.
Look at him, he's a fucking idiot.
PFT and I offered Rico full immunity tonight.
So, I mean, that's an offer he can't refuse.
I said no.
What does that entail?
There'll be no shots fired at him.
All shots will be fired.
Rico and I are going to be like in the Boondock Saints, back to back, just shooting everyone.
Oh, yeah?
Hey, Jay.
You texted me yesterday.
You like me?
There was a clown face on me already?
This is going to be one of the best live streams I've ever done.
I'm going to say it right now. This is going to be one of the best live streams I've ever done. I'm going to say it right now.
This is going to be
like the stakes.
So much is on the line.
I enjoy so much
of just having
a strong opinion
and being...
It's almost making me
want to root for Marty
because I see how the odds
are stacked against him.
There's so much
stacked against Marty right now.
I mean, I already have...
I'm already...
I'm already in on...
Tech.
I bet.
Let's not start a narrative
that the odds
are stacked against Duke. Yeah, right. They're not start a narrative that the odds are stacked against Duke.
Yeah, right.
They're stacked against Marty.
No, they're stacked against Marty.
Let me tell you, people are against me today.
Duke's the little machine that could...
Hank is with you?
Yeah, it's the only guy I got.
Hank's sick, though.
He's not going to be there?
I mean, he's literally sick to the point where he said he's going to zoom in for PMT
and then save up all his energy to come in later.
Oh, for the –
So he'll be here.
You're very sick as well.
Yeah.
And tired of Coach K's bullshit.
Yeah.
I put as much money as I possibly could on Duke today.
I am retiring this man.
I'm putting him out to pasture.
It's over.
You don't think that you're upset about Wisconsin?
It's over, Marty.
You're upset about –
It's over.
I am personally retiring Coach K tonight. You're upset. Wisconsin? It's over, Marty. You're upset about Wisconsin? It's over. I am personally retiring Coach K tonight.
You're upset.
You have an invite to my party.
I'm throwing a retirement party for Coach K.
It'll be right around 930 in the Gambling Cave.
Catering?
What do you want, Marty?
I'll get you any dinner you want tonight.
I want nothing.
No, no, no, no.
I ain't eating bad food.
Let me get you whatever you want for Coach K.
Maybe I'll get a cake. You know what, you want for Coach. Maybe I'll get a cake.
You know what?
Yum.
Coach Cake.
Let's get a cake.
Coach Cake.
Let's get a cake for Coach Cake.
I'm going to get a cake off you.
Oh, my God.
You should get a cake for Texas Tech.
If this backfires on my face, it's going to be so bad.
It's going to be bad.
It's going to be bad.
You've got to get another cake.
Happy retirement.
You know what?
I don't care.
That's the best part about it, having a strong opinion and saying, let's fucking go.
Let's just go.
It's going to be incredible.
Let's just win this game.
Coach Cake.
I'm going to get Spider to get me a cake.
How about happy retirement?
Yes.
Yes.
It's just Coach K's dumb face.
A black cake.
Whenever I was a kid, I always used to try to get black icing
on my cake. They're like, uh, we don't have that.
We don't have black icing, you
freak goth child.
Jesus. We have, uh, we have
this, uh, marble race.
I want to be able to order these hot dogs as fast
as possible. These papaya dogs.
Once I lose this, which
I'm inevitably about to lose.
I don't know how they lose. Oh, what?
That was our graphic?
That shit was sweet.
Wait, what was that?
Oh!
What the fuck?
Run that back.
Are you serious?
What is that, TJ?
TGA showed me some new shit yesterday off air.
Do it again.
Can you do Coach K's face?
And then we'll rip it?
And then I want to gif that?
Yes, dude.
Crumpled up.
TGA has been holding out on us.
Why is that a pre-programmed goblin hand?
That shit doesn't even make sense.
Also, how are we about to do this race?
Odds versus evens? Or how are we about to do this race Odds versus evens
Or how are we even going to know
Which one we root for
Yeah let's
Let's figure it out
Cause
If there's 16 racing simultaneously
It's going to be tough to know
Which one is ours
Unless we just pick ones
Until we pick a winner
Maybe I get reds
And you get yellows
Yeah
Let's see these
Yeah rip his face.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Let me get a video of this.
Ready?
Hold on.
Hold on.
Okay, go.
Bam!
Poor bastard.
That poor bastard.
That was sick.
That is the claw of death.
It truly is.
It shows that death is near. It's like the monkey's paw. What a great addition to the claw of death. It truly is. It shows that death is near.
It's like the monkey's paw.
What a great addition to the show right there.
I know.
Of all the things that we could add, we added that.
What more stuff do you have?
You got to get Jeff D to get a graphic ready for RIP to his career.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Ready to go.
Do another one.
Do another one.
Do another wipe away.
Yeah, we got to get the black and white picture
of Coach K.
Dude, that was so sick.
Oh, the monster.
Whoa.
Is that a guitar?
Rock and roll.
Rock and roll.
That's a rock. Dude and roll. Dude's rock.
Dude's rock.
Dude's rock transition.
Let's go.
Whoa!
Oh, jeez.
You're windshield wiping us?
What the fuck, TJ?
TJ's in his bag right now.
I feel like I'm at the hard rock in...
You know what's going to happen to you in Florida?
We're going to wipe away Coach K.
Yes!
Wait, so wait.
What's these marbles?
I don't know how we're going to decide with 20 marbles.
Which one?
How about light versus dark?
No.
I think you go.
Pick one and whoever finishes better.
I think one of you picks the three,
and one of you picks the yellow with the sunglasses on it.
And whichever one finishes better?
Yeah, whichever one finishes better doesn't have to buy hot dogs.
I want the sunglasses.
Or you can pick whatever one you want.
I'm just, those are the two that are like, stick out the most.
Yeah.
All right, I want the, actually I want the light blue one.
You want the light blue number 18?
15, 15, 15.
That's confusing.
It could be 15, 16, or 18.
All right, I want 15, 16, and 18.
And you take three colors.
All right, I'll get it.
This is not going to work.
I'll get the two red and the green.
14, 19, and 10.
Okay, so if it's blue, I win.
And if it's green or red, you win.
And winner, or any yellows or neutrals.
Jerry, come here.
Not ours. You win. And winner. Okay. Or any yellows or neutrals. Jerry, come here.
Not ours.
Jerry's got the strongest.
Come here.
Sit down.
Sit down.
I love you, Jerry.
You scared me.
Make bread with us.
Sit with us.
Jerry, it's the right bet.
Marty's mad about Duke.
It's the correct bet.
It's going to win. I don't know what the right bet is.
But I knew deep down I couldn't do that to you.
Love you.
I love you.
You could do it to Marty.
Yeah.
I could do it.
Show us the finger.
Look at that.
Oh, why is the pinky going?
They got it all.
What?
Is the pinky connected?
All right, let's do the Marlboros.
You want a hot dog?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll get you one. All right, cool. You're Marlboros. You want a hot dog? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll get you one.
All right, cool.
You're in.
Wait, winner buys or loser buys?
Loser buys.
All right.
I got the blues.
Where is this?
You got the reds and the greens.
We are back.
Each?
No, no, no, no, no.
Here in 2019.
Welcome, everybody.
Do we have to pick one?
I'm Greg Woods.
Remember us?
No, it's just that we're just finishing off.
You're getting a hot dog no matter what.
For a race quite like this, the weather's hot today. I'm Greg Woods. Remember us? It's been a while. I know. Oh, jeez.
Outdoor?
Oh, my God.
They're playing through rain.
Blue.
Come on, blue.
Oh, no. no no no no no no
crashed out you can see the red out in the upper left oh no oh no there's the
red of this race and now dragons egg has stopped it looks like you're doing good
here I'm not really sure why I am dragon's egg came to a stop we'll have
to check on that it didn't sound like it was crashing out.
Wait, is that yours?
Is that yours in second place right there, green?
Could it be an issue himself?
Looks like it.
Well, meanwhile, Crazy Cat's Eye, in the lead in this one, in front of Blizzard Blaster.
Oh, and is that yours?
And Quick Silver, Summer Sky.
Where?
It gets by, as I say that, but it's a big train from second place on back.
Poil Loco.
No.
I think he's in the middle of the pack.
Yeah, he's right behind the red.
Fuck, that just j the red. Whoa.
Oh, that's a bunch up.
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
Blue is not hitting the curves.
Oh, no.
Oh, here come the red.
Here come the red.
You shouldn't be able to compete if you were a fucking tennis ball last year.
Push, push, push, push.
Oh, no.
Here come the red.
Red.
Oh, red's dominating you now, Ron.
Fuck, all the blue just...
Oh, both the reds together.
We don't care about this one, dude.
Reds are drafting.
Oh, both are reds together. We don't care about this one, dude. Phoenix. Reds are drafting. Black Knight.
They apparently have gotten stuck as well.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
Oh, that wasn't the finish line.
Oh, it keeps on going.
Cobra down there at the bottom left.
You can just see crashed out.
Maybe this is a... Shadows.
Shadows are tough.
Is that one of your blues up there?
Tell us which one of the blues.
The blues got the blues.
Oh, boy.
I can't tell if that's one of my blues.
Is that one of my blues?
Please, God, be one of my blues.
I don't know.
I don't know.
If that's one of your blues, you're going to win.
If it's not, I think...
Oh, it's right on my head.
He's got two.
But I have one right on their ass.
If I split those two, it's one of my best other blues.
My only shot.
Man, I don't want to buy a hot dog for you guys.
Red number three wanting P4 now.
Drafting Super Bowl.
Farther down the course.
Oh, they're drafting Super Bowl.
The finish line should be just about in sight with Crazy Cat's Eye.
Going to cross the line first if things hold as they are.
Yes, he does.
Crazy Cat's Eye gets the win.
Is that one of your blues?
I don't think so.
Oh, there's a red.
And red number three rounding out the top five.
Yeah, that wasn't one of my blues.
I think Owen won.
He made that as confusing as possible.
All right, let me get this papaya dog.
Order those papaya dogs.
For the boys.
How many dogs?
Frank?
Two would be good, I guess.
Somebody watching porn.
I guess.
That wasn't porn.
What was it?
That wasn't porn.
What was it?
What kind of porn was it?
It wasn't porn.
Was it your favorite of all time or was it just a
It's an old reliable.
I opened the Safari tab that I had
up yesterday.
When was the last time you
opened it? Was it last night or this morning?
Now. I'm saying before that.
Well, I understand. You close it out right away.
You're like, get this shit away from me. Safari?
Does that still exist?
Oh, yeah.
What do you mean? I thought that was one of those Get this shit away from me. Safari, does that still exist? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
I thought that was one of those web browsers like Netscape Navigator that have gone to the great internet in the sky.
No, I'd imagine the overwhelming majority of people use it almost daily. Did Papaya Dog Greenwich Village or Fideye?
You're not an iPhone guy.
Who's that?
Which Papaya Dog's closer, Greenwich Village or Fideye? You're not an iPhone guy. Was that? Which Papaya Dog's closer?
Greenwich Village or Fideye?
What did they give you on your phone?
Chelsea.
Chelsea.
Chelsea.
Do you use Chrome on your phone?
Yes.
Nice.
How many hot dogs total should I get?
I'll get 10.
Yeah, get 10.
10 dogs for my boys.
If only my marbles had raced faster.
I'm so ready to make it permanent tonight.
Oh, I'm going to say.
I'm not even going to say.
What?
What are you going to say?
I'm not even going to say.
Say what you're going to say.
Say it in the mic.
Say it in the mic.
Frank, how many topics do you want?
I don't want to put no bad energy out there, so I don't want to say it.
I'd like my hot dogs to be raw dogs.
None.
I'm getting 10 raw dogs.
I'm texting Spider right now.
I'm going to get a retirement cake.
Happy retirement, Coach K.
Perfect.
Ice cream cake or regular?
Make regular.
Yeah.
You know it's going to be permanent tonight, don't you?
What?
Coach K's retirement.
Yes, Frank! Make it fucking permanent tonight, don't you? What? Coach K's retirement. Yes, Frank.
Make it fucking permanent.
I feel good.
You do?
I feel real good.
I got a visor for you.
Do you?
Oh, the red?
Red, yes.
I love visors.
You're going to look real good in it.
I like visors.
Make it permanent.
This is a game of the year bet for you, right?
It's a game of the year bet for you, right? It's a game of the year bet. It is a...
I was sitting in a gas station in New Jersey this morning
eating hot fries in my car, just adding to my bet.
Are those the Andy Cap hot fries?
Yeah, so good.
Aren't those one of the best snacks you could buy?
Visualize that for a second.
Just sitting there, just sucking myself up.
Adding to the same bet is the best feeling.
You're just like, I'm a genius.
Because I already bet him when I was leaving Chicago,
and then I was like, I'm adding to it.
I need more.
The thing that fucked me up was I put the bet in on Duke for five times,
and then I was like, I couldn't live with myself.
When did you put it in?
On the way here.
Really? And you just flip-flopped it right away? Yeah, and then I was like, I couldn't live with myself. When did you put it in? On the way here. Oh, really?
And you just flip-flopped it right away?
Yeah, and then I was like, I can't live with myself.
Make up the difference.
I'll make up the difference.
$250.
I'll make up the difference.
No problem.
For karma, I will give you $250 cash.
Perfect.
Literally.
Perfect.
That's karma.
But the same thing, though.
I mean, you were going to lose the bet if it was the other way.
Yeah.
You won yourself the money on your own.
Jerry.
Jerry.
They're going to murder him.
You think?
Yes.
Line flipped to tech favorite.
No.
Look at this.
Watch this, Jerry.
Oh.
Like it?
I feel so bad for Marty.
Do you think there's a chance Coach K doesn't come out for the second half?
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, they're going to actually follow him tomorrow.
Tomorrow, instead of showing actual games,
they're actually going to show him back at Duke cleaning out his desk.
Yes.
I want to watch it all.
Yes.
Last week, it just dawned on me that he's got to go.
Is the Michigan game, what game was it?
It was a one-point game, and they actually show,
it was a Michigan game for a second-round game,
and they actually showed him walking into the arena.
Yes, like in the middle of a game.
You know, the game was like a one-point game with 30 seconds left,
and the coach was arguing all of a sudden,
and they broke away from that to show him just walking in the arena with his wife.
Yes, and he almost kissed his wife, and then he was like, no cameras.
I mean, I want to watch the end of the game.
I don't care who's walking in the arena.
We know he's there at the arena.
I don't want to watch him walking into the arena.
I don't care.
It'd be news if he wasn't at the arena.
Yes.
Dog bites man isn't news, but man bites dog
would be news. The unexpected.
Can I say something, Jerry, too? Yeah.
This is the game of the year.
Everyone knows I take my game of the year.
Oh, God.
Marty. Gave me the middle finger
and just... Marty gave you the middle finger?
This is my game of the year. People
know I take my game of the year very seriously.
I've shown you my bets on game of the year.
Yeah.
I bet.
They're the largest bets I do.
3-0.
I don't want to get ahead of myself.
But if I win tonight,
I might have another game of the year tomorrow.
Back-to-back games of the year?
You're an absolute dog.
I might.
I might.
Who is it? Who is might. Who is it?
Who is it?
Who is it?
Miami?
Miami.
Yeah, yeah.
Miami does it.
I might.
I might.
Yeah, Miami.
What's the most confident you've ever been about a bet in your life, you'd say?
Oh, jeez.
That hit or that didn't hit?
That hit.
That hit.
That hit.
I want to tip about something that was very confident.
Most confident I've ever been in a bet that hit.
Yeah.
That's tough.
I actually was very, very confident in that
in the first game of the year this year,
Utah-Ohio State Rose Bowl.
Okay.
The quarterback got hurt and I almost lost it,
but I was very confident in that bet.
Oh, man. How does that compare to this year, you'd say, this bet right here?
I'm very confident in this bet.
I'm very, very confident in this bet.
I think Texas Tech is a better team, mentally tougher team, older team,
defense travels, all that stuff.
I think Texas Tech is just a better team.
I think if you had Duke, is just not mentally tough it's all on the line you're putting everything on the line just it all blow up in my
face the fact you're saying it you're giving I'm retiring his ass his old ass yeah fucking putting
him out to pasture I mean what happens well I don't even want to let's get a gif of me just
dropping him off at the retirement home.
So this is
so... Do you think this is too far?
I was thinking about in the
Sopranos when Phil
Leotardo gets his head rolled over.
Making that Coach K's head.
That's too far? Maybe a little bit.
Well, he's not dead.
It's not like he's dying.
Well, you know, you could actually have You could actually have him as Uncle Junior.
Oh, look at that.
Oh, wait, but you got to get rid of him.
Oh.
How about this?
Him as just Uncle Junior sitting at the nursing home.
I used to run North Jersey.
Yeah.
Yeah, I used to run the ACC.
I feel very confident, Jerry.
I'm happy.
I really do.
I really do. I really do.
I think they're the better team.
There's a chance we get screwed by the refs,
but I think Texas Tech will be up enough that we won't have to worry about that.
You know what they say about defense?
Defense wins championships.
Yes.
Defense travels.
That's a good adage.
Those are both good adages.
Wipe his face away.
Oh, my God.
They're very soft, too. Yeah, that's what good adage. Those are both good adages. Wipe his face away. Duke's defense. Oh, my God. They're very soft, too.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
It's a men versus boys.
Duke has the sizzle.
They got the draft picks.
They got the talent, all that.
These guys, mentally strong.
And they've been letting people back in games, too.
It's not like they've been playing such a dominant brand of basketball.
Mm-mm.
Mm-mm. Mm-mm. I mean, if Izzo knew how to coach still.
That one hurt me.
That one hurt me.
I won't lie.
What a perfect day to wear this, switching bets.
Yeah.
Wow.
Don't look about signs.
Signs are here.
I feel great now.
Did you sign someone tweeted us?
Oh, there it is.
Set them off.
Coach K's mentor, Bobby Knight, kicked out of Indiana, goes to Texas Tech.
Yeah, seen that.
Sign.
Sounds like a sign.
Something to think about.
Gosh.
The papaya dog is still preparing our orders.
It's not even out for delivery.
Man, we're going to have to eat these dogs.
We're going to have to eat them off air, I guess.
Oh, dude, it's some fucking bullshit.
I also like Houston a lot, Jerry.
I like them, too.
I put a big bet on Houston as well.
A little love for Nova?
Maybe just a little bit.
I think Nova, yeah.
I have a future on Nova.
Oh, that's a good value.
My big future, though, is the only one I have left that's big is with the security guys.
I told Mike, pick a team.
I'll put money on it for me and you guys, and it's UCLA.
They all like UCLA?
I was like, pick a team.
They came back to me a day later.
They're like, UCLA.
28 to 1. I think it was like $4,000. They came back to me a day later. They were like, UCLA. 28 to 1.
I think it was like $4,000.
$4,000 for like $120,000?
Yeah, and we're going to, if Mike and Pat are coming to New Orleans,
and so if UCLA gets there, I'm going to buy the boys head-to-toe UCLA gear.
Oh, that would be nice.
They're going to look awesome going down Bourbon Street.
Yeah, like full fucking pop-ups or Street. Yeah. Yes. Full fucking yes.
Or something.
The whole thing.
Oh, that's go to the
game.
That's not a bad pick as
far as long odds, but
they have tournament
experience.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Strong, strong three or
four players.
I got I got Arkansas
that was just a pure
like I love Moss and I
did that like three
months ago and then
Nova and UCLA left.
I put in a lot of futures.
They all suck.
I play to win.
I think I need UCLA to win for me to go up in futures.
The only Final Four team I have left is Arizona.
Dang, Frank.
You're losing tonight, Frank.
Sorry to tell you.
I had a nightmare.
My brackets.
You had a nightmare about your bracket?
My nightmare brackets.
Basically, I could just set my.
I had three of my final four teams go down, like, quickly.
Frank.
Iowa?
Yep.
Kentucky?
Yep.
Duke?
Nope.
Wisconsin?
With Sparty. Oh, Sparty. Six? With Sparty.
Oh, Sparty.
Six minutes.
You went psycho on your bracket.
You're a madman.
You had who?
Sparty.
Why?
Why?
Because I trusted the Big Ten.
That was stupid, Frank.
And I had six of my elite eight teams were Big Ten schools.
Frank, you know that Izzo can't coach anymore.
And I had another bracket where I had Wisconsin winning it all.
Frank, come on.
I mean, it was like I picked all these teams in Arizona to win.
I mean, it was just like.
Whatever can go wrong will go wrong.
I went heavy into the Big Ten.
By the way, dude wipes.
Go to dude wipes.
Use code YAK20 for 20% off.
Entire order.
If you're not wiping your butt with dude wipes,
you are not living.
It is the cleanest butt wipe in the world.
Seriously.
Like, if you use toilet paper,
I judge you as a person at this point.
And today we're going to watch Coach K get wiped away.
Yes.
Sponsored by Dude Wipes.
If you wipe good enough with toilet paper, you could feel like you did before you pooped.
Yes.
If you wipe good enough with Dude Wipes, you feel better.
It feels like you took a shower.
It's incredible.
It's the best feeling in the world.
High concentrated shower right on that butthole.
Two minutes away.
This guy's flying here.
He's coming? Yes. Two minutes. Oh This guy's flying here. He's coming?
Yes, two minutes.
Oh, let's wait and let's see.
Wait and we'll find him.
You know what?
I'd like to actually get him in here
and have him pick Duke first.
Yeah, yeah, that's great.
He'll probably pick Duke because it's such a public.
But he'll never know.
Josim is walking right now.
He cannot have been walking.
Josim look like a Duke fan?
Yeah, he actually can be walking.
It's only like six blocks away.
But the way, the speed that he got here with, it said six minutes,
then it went to three minutes, two minutes, and all within one minute.
I think he did six minutes in one minute.
So unless he's eight feet tall and is the longest rider of all time.
Maybe he's running.
He's riding a Segway.
Maybe he's sprinting.
I did click priority.
I believe some people lie and say they're on a bike
When they're in a car or vice versa
Oh this is him
Oh he is tall
Oh
Get Josem in here
You you you
Yes yes yes
Is that papaya dogs? That's not papaya dogs
That's Chipotle
Never mind
Are those papaya dogs?'s not papaya dogs? That's your bullet wait? That's never mind. That's is that poor are those papaya dogs?
Are those papaya dogs would you drop off Chipotle?
Okay, you got any opinion on Duke first Texas Tech tonight
Holy guy, oh sim Joe Sims coming in fuck doesn't matter. That's not our guy. He's a Chipotle guy. Josim.
Josim's coming in.
Who the fuck likes Chipotle anyway?
Yeah, somebody's still dropping 14.
You got to kind of lead him.
He is on Duke.
You got to say Texas Tech or Duke.
You got to really lead him to it.
Yeah, get that guy out of here.
We need Josim to be right on this one.
Get that guy out of here.
Come on, Josim.
Fucking Chipotle.
Fucking garbage.
Right?
They're not a sponsor, right?
I know.
Good. Never. Never, never, never
You know what?
Chipotle comes with a side of stomach poisoning
You gotta pay extra for it, though
Mandatory upcharge
It's more expensive to get the stomach poisoning than the guac
But you have to get it
Osim is killing me right now
Marty's really upset
Oh is he giving you a hard time?
Yeah he's giving me a very hard time
Osim come on
Get up
What is he saying to you?
Just like
You know
Come back
Yeah
Taxes
Yeah
That's not right
Yeah
He can't do you like this
This is just
It's not fair to you at this point in the game that you're just going with your heart,
doing what you know you have to do.
Yeah.
He's going to give you a hard time.
Exactly.
What did KB say to you yesterday after the show?
Nothing.
He didn't say nothing.
He wasn't upset.
He wasn't?
He wasn't.
What was that?
Oh, here we go.
Here we go.
Joseph.
Joseph.
Joseph.
Joseph.
Joseph.
Joseph.
Joseph.
Yes.
No, no, no.
We need Joseph. We need Joseph. Yeah, yeah. Come here. Come here, Josem. Yes, no, no, no. We need Josem.
We need Josem.
Yeah, yeah.
Come here.
Come here.
Come here.
No, no, no, no.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Josem.
Texas Tech or Duke?
Texas Tech or Duke?
Josem.
Yeah.
Josem.
Josem.
Josem.
Very important question for you.
Texas Tech or Duke
Texas Tech
Yeah
Yes
Thank you
Big tip for Joseph
Yes
We'll take the dogs
Fuck it feels good
That was so big
That was so big for the signs
Especially because we had the fucking fake guy.
Say, Duke.
Yeah.
He's the fucking Chipotle guy.
So confident.
Now we got Josem.
So confident.
Oh, my God.
Josem.
That couldn't have worked out any better.
That was great.
Sheesh.
Yes.
Jerry.
That was so big.
We're making it permanent tonight. We're making it permanent. That's the wrong order he said. Oh, no. That was so big. We're making it permanent.
We're making it permanent.
That's the wrong order, he said.
Oh, no.
That's bad.
That's bad signs.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
They gave us extra.
If they gave us extra, it's good.
What is it?
There's two in each one.
Yeah, there's probably two in each one.
There's definitely two.
So it's the right order?
Right.
Make sure that's the right order.
Super hot is.
Is that the flavor of the dough?
Okay, it's two in each one.
Oh.
Two in each one.
Oh, my God.
Perfect.
I just need one.
Yeah.
Boys in the booth need some, too.
Let me just have one.
I'll do just one.
Oh, yeah.
Look at Frankie just went in.
Frank, live review?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Boys, we got some for you in here.
A solid triple.
Triple?
Oh, look at these.
Love it.
Good dog.
Delicious dog.
Ooh, delicious dog.
Oh, man.
Joseph came in in the crush.
That is a good dog.
Uh-huh.
Texas.
Texas.
Texas.
That's a good fucking dog right there.
Frank, what do you like about it?
What makes it a triple?
It has a good snap to it.
They do a good job grilling it.
Uh-huh.
Nice snap.
Mm-hmm.
Uh-huh.
Is it definitely grilled?
What are the best ways to prepare a hot dog?
Par broil?
Well, yeah, the par broil is good method.
It really is.
I like the hot dog when you cook it on a flame.
Opening flame.
Of course, you can go to get the deep fried ones.
Those are good.
Never in the microwave.
Never.
Never.
What about boil?
If you know how to boil it right, it could come out good.
But that's not always the best way to do it. You have to
have the right type of dog to boil a hot dog.
Jerry, I was explaining how you always pump
yourself up with a little, Jerry!
What is that? Something that
touches, talk to myself a little bit.
Jerry.
Jerry. Oh, you do it even
higher. Jerry. Jerry.
Jerry. Jerry.
Pump myself up a little bit.
That was so big for the bet.
So big.
I mean, he just said it.
And it was, yeah, like the rope-a-dope there that we had with the Chipotle order.
Oh, I feel good, guys.
Yeah, I feel good.
Perfect day.
Yeah, go ahead, Frank.
Leave us with a last thought.
Well, I got one thing to say about Coach K.
Yep.
Texas Tech looks like Yosemite Sam.
So at the end of the day, it's going to be...
That's all, Duke.
We'll see you Everyone tomorrow That was
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That was That was That was That was That was That was That was That was It's the act Yeah, it's time to talk shop
We're doing Yankee pop
It's the act
It's the act
Great job today chat
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