The Yak - We Pranked the Entire Office with Hidden Pagers | The Yak 2-27-23

Episode Date: February 27, 2023

RIP Father JoeYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up. Hello. Everyone's here. Why did you put up your finger? I don't know. I just put up my finger. What's up, everybody?
Starting point is 00:00:38 What's up, Brandon? Welcome to the Yak. Here we go, Brandon. Hey, Brandon. All squads here. This might be a Yakagami. Yeah. We've never all been together. Hey, Brandon. All squads here. This might be a yakagami. Yeah. We've never all been together.
Starting point is 00:00:48 Everyone's back. Roan, how was Canada? You won? It was unjudged, but it was good. Oh, you won. I judged. I judged and you won. Thank you, brothers.
Starting point is 00:00:57 Very nice of you. That would have been fucked up if you had been like, yeah, the other dude won. Sixth best. That would have been. Yeah, you were in the mix. I went in completely unbiased. You got bodied. Fuck you, dude. I watched the whole thing, and it was really entertaining.
Starting point is 00:01:13 Yeah. What do you mean? The other dude was really good. Dumbfounded. Oh, shit. Oh, I'm just saying. Like, usually when you, like all the battles that I've watched from you, usually you destroy them. That dude held his own.
Starting point is 00:01:23 He did well. I think he did well, too. 50-50. You did amazing. Split decision. He usually, like, you destroy them. That dude held his own. He did well. I think he did well, too. 50-50. You did amazing. Split decision. He didn't win. It was like, no, both sides of it were, like, very fun to watch. He's both sides in it right now.
Starting point is 00:01:32 If you had to pick which side. No way. Roan definitely won. Thanks, bro. No, I think. The other guy was pretty good. He was. He was great.
Starting point is 00:01:40 He was hilarious. It was, he's one of the funniest dudes. He's a stand-up comic. He's, like, on, he, like, tours with Theo Vaughn and shit like that. He's a very famous, well-renowned... Did you talk to him beforehand? Coordinate anything? I mean, we talked.
Starting point is 00:01:56 We didn't coordinate anything. That's what I would do. I'd give the fans the best show. Plan it out? Yeah, script it all. Is that what you're talking about? Wrestling? Kind of. You's real, bro.
Starting point is 00:02:06 You want to be a battle rapper. I'm a DJ now. Oh, you're a DJ. I was in the lab all weekend. You were? Do you have the whole machine and everything? No, I have to use a video editing app, so the only thing I can do is just put music side by side. You have some real hard
Starting point is 00:02:22 shots. Yeah, but I'm getting better at it. I figured out some different techniques. I have a remix that I'm excited to release this week. When are you putting it out? Maybe Wednesday, maybe Thursday. Damn. I've had some good ones. You haven't seen good ones.
Starting point is 00:02:39 Your Skrillex one was pretty good. It was all right. It was just a Skrillex song. Yeah. So that sounds pretty good. So what was bad about it? just a Skrillex song. Yeah. So that's pretty good. So what was bad about it? That's what DJs are doing. They just transition different songs.
Starting point is 00:02:49 Yeah, you're damn good at it. Such an easy job. Like aux cord DJs. It seems like it, yeah. But being able to- You still got to play the right songs. Yeah. You got to work the crowd.
Starting point is 00:02:58 Yeah, that is true. Get the BPMs right. You got to get the BPMs right. AB would be able to do that easily, though. Easily. Work the crowd. Slow. Then bring it down. Then get it back up. KB, though. Easily. Yeah. Work the crowd. Slow. You got to bring it down.
Starting point is 00:03:06 Then get it back up. KB again. It was genuine. It's called banger after banger. The battle was genuinely like, it was so fun to watch. I was having a blast. Did it raise a lot of money? Raised a ton of money.
Starting point is 00:03:17 Awesome. I had to buy it twice, actually. Okay. Yeah. Sass asked for a refund from charity. No, I couldn't figure out how to get the link to work on the first time I bought it, so I just went through the whole process again. He wanted to support the other guy that you were battling.
Starting point is 00:03:30 Oh, no, no. I was just saying, the whole thing, I watched a lot of the battles. I watched most of them, and they were all like, it was really fun. Yeah. I was laughing my ass off watching it. It was an all-time good vibes event, and it was a massive, great crowd. Like a thousand people that were just so happy to be there. I'm sure you know in stand-up when a crowd is just giving you something for everything that you want them to give you something.
Starting point is 00:03:57 That's what it felt like. It was really entertaining. That's sick. Hell yes, it was a blast. National Pokemon Day. Oh, today? So if everybody could go around and say their favorite. Big Cat. Squirt blast. National Pokemon Day. Oh, today? So if everybody could go around and say their favorite. Big Cat.
Starting point is 00:04:06 Squirtle. Yeah. Pikachu. Actually, no, mine would be... Actually, I don't even know if that's a Pokemon. Pikachu, bro. Is Jigglypuff a Pokemon? My favorite.
Starting point is 00:04:14 Yeah, Jigglypuff. I use him in Super Smash. Norlax. Norlax, yeah. Brandon? It repeats. Squirtle. No.
Starting point is 00:04:21 It repeats. He just said what he was going to do. Charizard. Charizard. No. It repeats. You just hear me? Charizard. Charizard's cool. Onix. Nice. Like a battle rapper. Japanese blast toys.
Starting point is 00:04:33 Nelly was slamming. I always thought Nelly was slamming his peers like the Onix Pokemon. That was the most slam. DJ? Ganglar. Jay? Ash. Ash Ketchum?
Starting point is 00:04:55 He's a fucking kid. He's in the show. That's a kid, though. You just think if he's in the show, he's a Pokemon? Yeah. Black shoes. You don't know Pokemon. Black shoes, Jay. I don't want to go.
Starting point is 00:05:05 You got black shoes? He's the only one in the chat that got black. Why don't you choose. Black shoes, Chad. You got black shoes? He's the only one in the chat that got black. Why don't you choose black? Do you want to be a waiter? Trying to be a bus boy. Yeah, act your wage, Busy B. Black shoes are impossible. They actually did look, I thought they looked a little bit cleaner.
Starting point is 00:05:20 They do look hard to wear. Very hard to wear. You need to wear it with the right everything else. Everything else. I mean, what's the best fit to wear black shoes with? I think all black. All black, maybe like joggers. Then you do look like a busboy.
Starting point is 00:05:32 Yeah. You look like a millionaire is what you look like. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, it's actually the farthest gap. Yeah. Between, didn't... That's why Jay got him,
Starting point is 00:05:42 because he's going to apply to fucking labor Didn't Adam Crowell used to have that Bit that he used to do on his podcast Like Billionaire or white trash Because there's a lot of shit That you could pick That applies to both
Starting point is 00:06:00 I've seen that I've seen the chart and pictures Like getting driven around. Like you could be a white trash guy who has so many DUIs he doesn't have his license. Yeah. Or you could be Jeff Bezos. Or both. Or just carpooling with your friends.
Starting point is 00:06:14 Yeah. There's kind of. I love that about when the Chicago guys have their arguments about carpooling in Dave's car. Oh, White Sox Dave, that was an all-time move. That was a couple weeks ago, but they went to a movie together, and then when they got out of the movie, White Sox Dave drove and was like, oh yeah, I can't give
Starting point is 00:06:32 any of you guys a ride back. I have something I have to do. They said they have food on the stove. They all drove together. And it was like crock pot. Yeah, you can't do that. You can't do that. That's an all-time dick move.
Starting point is 00:06:44 You can't do that. He didn't do that. That's an all-time dick move. You can't do that. He didn't tell them until they were walking to the bus. Yeah, he's like, yeah, no, I'm not going back to the office. It's awesome that they drove together, though. I just think, like, just carpooling with your bros is something I haven't done in a long time. I miss it. I miss it a lot. Me and KB carpool, like, every day.
Starting point is 00:07:00 On the subway. Sometimes, yeah. We plan it out. No, we just see each other, and then we don't make eye contact. The person who got dragged the hardest this week on Twitter was someone who said her and her friends have an agreement where they would never possibly ever pick up one another from the airport. Oh, I saw that. Wait. That's just normal, though.
Starting point is 00:07:23 Right? I guess you don't have to have an agreement for it Yeah, people are calling her a despicable beast Because that's like a friend move This is Like you don't Are you squeezing out a fart? Farting
Starting point is 00:07:35 Yeah, that was apparent Are you pointing it at me? So hard Did you notice I was tilting to the left a little bit too Trying to work it out Picking someone up from the airport is the ultimate, like that's basically only family and I don't even know. Family or somebody you don't see, like if you're excited to see the person.
Starting point is 00:07:53 If you're bringing a friend somewhere, like if you moved away and your friend's coming to see you, you can go get them at the airport. You better go get them. My buddy, when I go. I don't think so. If the person just happens to be going to Boston, you live in Boston, sure, don't pick them up. If they're coming to Boston to see you, pick them up.
Starting point is 00:08:08 It's like easier in New York just to get an Uber. Right. Right. New York is different. New York's an outlier. If I lived in like Kentucky and someone came to see me. Okay, yeah. You better go pick them up.
Starting point is 00:08:15 New York, LA, Chicago. I think those are outliers. Yes, yes. Atlanta. Like any big city airport, get in a fucking Uber. Yeah. Six or seven airports that you shouldn't go to in this country
Starting point is 00:08:26 to pick somebody up, but every other airport you should. Where was this chick? What I'm saying is I think it's... I wouldn't care. She's getting unanimously destroyed.
Starting point is 00:08:34 I don't know, but I think it's fine. We destroy people over nothing. I think it's fine if you guys don't want to pick each other up from the airport. I wouldn't ask.
Starting point is 00:08:40 I don't want to inconvenience you. Don't ask your friend. I'm on her side. I agree. It's like asking someone to help move. Yeah, like I would be fine if someone, if a friend offered, I'd be like, yeah, okay, come pick me up. But I would never be like, hey, I land at like 6, so see you at 615.
Starting point is 00:09:00 Well, the distance matters too. Like if you live very far away, it's shitty to make them take you. If you lived in Louisville and I was coming to visit you in Louisville, you would probably pick me up at the airport. Not you. Well, this girl and her friends have a mutual agreement. It'd be one thing if her friend asked her to, and she said, no, I would never do that.
Starting point is 00:09:17 But they both are on the same side, and I think it's fine. I think the weird part is that's an implication that doesn't even need to be spoken out loud. You're not really good friends with the person if you have to actually make an agreement. Now 100,000 people are calling her a heathen. Yeah, that's crazy. I'm saying if you have to be like, hey, just so we're on the same page talking it out, I think true friendship is being like, there's no fucking chance this person will pick me up from the airport.
Starting point is 00:09:43 Ron, if you live in Louisville. Because he's my friend. Someone pulled an awesome move on me one time. They picked me up in Charleston, and they had a cooler of booze already. And they're like, let's get this weekend started. So it's like, if you're going to do it, make a meal of it. Maybe be very nice about it. Have some local treats.
Starting point is 00:09:59 Stinky Tony picked me up music blaring songs I like. Natty Light, he was drinking it. He's a lawyer, though. Yeah, he can get out of it. Speaking of which. I would be more likely to drop someone off at the airport than pick them up because that's actually a weird thrill. Yes.
Starting point is 00:10:15 Like after a long weekend, be like, you have to get on a plane. I get to go home and go to sleep. Yeah, that is huge. It's very nice, too. I will say it is. I agree with you. It is awesome getting picked up by your boys. Right.
Starting point is 00:10:27 Mike always does that. I never expected it. And it's always fun seeing him at the airport. He pulls up in a cowboy hat. I would pick up all of my friends at the airport. I would pick up. New York, I think, is an exception. No, but again, I would never turn down someone asking to pick me up,
Starting point is 00:10:42 but I would never ask someone to pick me up. I agree. I've Ubered to the airport in New York to go back with friends that just landed. That's crazy. You're too nice. That's a good friend. That's so nice of you.
Starting point is 00:10:54 I was excited to see him. So you Ubered to the airport? Yeah. And where did you wait? I always wanted to be somebody waiting at the airport. Oh, that's different. I agree with that. Stinky Tony again.
Starting point is 00:11:07 Always is. Some flowers. Did you have a sign that said stink? Uncle Stank, yeah. Nick, how was stand-up this weekend? I think everybody wants to hear. Yeah. It was really good.
Starting point is 00:11:20 It was fun. It was like an adrenaline rush. I don't think it's going to be a regular thing for me, but it felt good to kind of just see if I could do it. I wish I have nothing to base a critique off of because I just blacked out when I got on stage. How long was it? I felt like I talked too fast.
Starting point is 00:11:38 I felt like I trembled. No, it went very smoothly. It was like seven and a half minutes. It went fast. Yeah. It was a blast of a half minutes. It went fast. Yeah. It was a blast of a night. It was really fun. The bit that he did at the end, which was probably like two minutes long,
Starting point is 00:11:51 I think that would have played in front of any crowd in any stand-up club. What was it about? It was about a tragedy that happened in New York City in the early 2000s. It was like a very unique take on it. It was like, it wasn't like a, it wasn't like a, like, it was like a very, like, unique. Take on it? Take on it. It was very, very funny. Like, everyone was laughing.
Starting point is 00:12:09 It was hilarious. Thanks, man. Sick. It's awesome. We had boys from Ireland, boys from Montreal. North Carolina. Shout out to them. People were like, it's only like a 50-person room.
Starting point is 00:12:19 People flew in for it? Yeah. People flew in for it. Dude there brought me eight knives. What? Oh, he did? Yeah, security was lax. And how many do you have of those eight?
Starting point is 00:12:27 I gave them all away. See what I mean? You will never get to 200. Look at my desk. I know how it is now. Those are kitchen knives. Somebody sent me kitchen knives. Yak fan.
Starting point is 00:12:37 Knives to knife. Like a block? No block, but just the knives. The Amazon Basics color pack. Nice. It was a solid weekend for the squad. Yeah, all around. Sass is supportive as hell, bro.
Starting point is 00:12:49 Yeah, he has been. It was nice seeing my boys just killing. Sass, you're so damn supportive. Did you guys have a good weekend? I had a terrible weekend. No. Yeah, you had a bad one. Squad.
Starting point is 00:12:59 What happened to you? I want some good bets. You also made millions of dollars on what? That was last day. Yeah, it's a new week. That should carry over into the weekend. I'm already trying to make my bets. That should carry over.
Starting point is 00:13:11 How depressing is life if I can't even enjoy that if that ever happens? That has to carry over. Dude, what the fuck am I doing? More money, more problems, bro. I had a fine weekend. I think the fight was all right. It wasn't as bad as people seem to think it was. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:29 I went to the mall again on Sunday. Which one? You okay? No. American Dream. What was it? It was good. I went to, there's a mirror maze.
Starting point is 00:13:38 Yeah, I did that with Jeff D. Lowe. Yep. Huge mistake taking a three and a half year old and a one and a half year old in there. Oh, God. My daughter like almost concussed herself. Yeah. Then my son was just like, we got to get out of here. And I was like, I don't fucking know how to get out of here.
Starting point is 00:13:52 Yeah. That's the first time he's ever seen his dad vulnerable. Oh, no, no, no, no. No, corn maze. Oh, you got lost in that. At least a corn maze you can break through the walls. Yeah, this is just like, we might have to be in here for a while. He definitely thinks I'm a huge pussy because he was just like, I want to get out.
Starting point is 00:14:11 I was like, dude, I do too. We're trying. Did you just wake up on Saturday and decide to take him to a college basketball game? Yeah, I've been playing that because the LIU, Long Island University, plays like two minutes from my house. Do you know what they like? The worst team. He wins. So bad.
Starting point is 00:14:29 Got to start there, though. Rod Strickland is the coach. What? Yeah, I didn't know that. Huh. Yeah. I didn't know that either. You know, after the game, like the entire Merrimack team, like the coaching staff was like, what the fuck are you doing?
Starting point is 00:14:43 I was like, yeah, I thought it would be fun. It was... Yeah. They were playing basketball. They were playing. It was fun. That was the most high school looking gym I've ever seen. It's the best though. I like watching basketball in tiny shitty gyms.
Starting point is 00:14:59 Yeah, it is. It's fun. You guys see that XFL field that they were playing on? It looked like a high school field that XFL was playing on. No. What team? I don't even know. It was like an open end zone. It was just like the street behind them.
Starting point is 00:15:10 I like that. I like going to different gyms because then when you see highlights on ESPN, you're like, oh, I've been there. I know what that looks like. I saw the XFL video of the coach. He's like mid-game interviewing. He's like, we just got to start. He's like, our team sucks.
Starting point is 00:15:23 You guys see that video? No. He's like, they just got to start playing better's like, our team sucks. You guys see that video? No. He's like, they just got to start playing better. Entirely blaming the team. It was hilarious. That is facts. Did you watch the Sixers game, Roan, while you were... I didn't. Did something happen?
Starting point is 00:15:36 Dude, I watched the Sixers game and I watched your rap battle at the same time. You watched a lot of stuff this weekend. That's a lot of Roan support. Thank you, bro. Sixers wound up winning or... I don't know. I didn't pay attention. Me neither, bro. So that's cool. I guess support. I know. Thank you, bro. Sixers wound up winning or? I don't know. I didn't pay attention. Me neither, bro. So that's cool. I guess we'll never know.
Starting point is 00:15:49 They lost by three. Did they? All I saw was Embiid hitting a shot at the end of the game. That shit should have counted. I think if you hit a 75-footer, you should get like 0.5 seconds grace period. Yeah. Especially as a 7-footer. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:01 I think so, too. That's shorter distance for a 7-footer. Oh, true. Closer. Yeah. Dang. You, too. That's shorter distance for a 7-footer. Oh, true. Closer. Yeah. You guys just can't beat the Celtics. So, are NBA teams, are they just every year they're playing less and less defense? Or how are these guys scoring?
Starting point is 00:16:14 I think it's a result of offense has gotten far better than it's evolved. Yeah, so it's not an evolution. They don't take those shots, and they take smart shots and move the ball. It's just offense offensive machine. They don't take the shots. They take smart shots and move the ball. It's just offense has evolved. But defense has devolved. They still play hard defense. If you look at the numbers. I think it's more of an offensive.
Starting point is 00:16:34 Two people have scored over 70 this year. Two is two. Three in the last six years. There are three active players that played this year that scored 70. That's my mistake. That's crazy. Are you going to apologize? Do I really need to apologize for that?
Starting point is 00:16:49 You kind of corrected him very... Incorrectly. Incorrectly and confidently. You were like, oh, I meant in the last six years, which is a scale we use often. Yeah. Nick, I apologize. All due accepted.
Starting point is 00:17:02 I'm a big person. We just got through that. Wow. Those are fun shoes, Brandon. Play that clip, TJ.. All due accepted. I'm a big person. We just got through that. Wow. Those are fun shoes, Brandon. Play that clip, TJ. You had it going. Welcome back to Orlando here with Coach Buckley. Coach, how do you change this momentum?
Starting point is 00:17:14 We got to get different guys in there. Obviously, we got to get guys out there. They're not making plays. So, we got to get people in there, young men that want to play, that want to compete and make plays. I just saw you walk up and down this sideline and look some guys in their faces. What did you see out of your team?
Starting point is 00:17:30 I'm seeing guys not performing. Look at the scoreboard. They got to perform. Thank you, Coach. It's awesome. That's like what a coach. It's proud, though. One of my favorite moves when a college basketball coach
Starting point is 00:17:39 will open up tryouts in the middle of the season. Like open tryouts. You need new guys. You need new guys. We need new guys. Go to the stands. They won't end up signing anyone or adding anyone, but they'll just be like, you know, get the football team down here. One of the funniest episodes of Always Sunny is when they do the,
Starting point is 00:17:56 they try out for the Eagles. Oh, yeah. They open tryout, and it's all just like Philly scumbags. Yeah, yeah. So funny. There was a dude on the Eagles named Vi Sikahema, and his grandfather was like a prize-fighting champion, but the way he got his start in boxing was another guy didn't show up to a fight,
Starting point is 00:18:14 and he was just in the audience, and he just took the guy's place. What a badass. Just hopped in, beat the guy, and then became sick at boxing. Vi Sikahema also had a boxing career. Yeah, maybe. I don't know if it was him. That was his celebration. I also had a boxing career. Because, or, yeah, maybe, yeah, I don't know if it was him, because remember,
Starting point is 00:18:27 that was his celebration. combo there. That was his, he would score, he scored a touchdown and went to the, the goal post and like fucking box it. That was his celebration.
Starting point is 00:18:34 It was kind of sick. I don't think I'm confident enough in anything where I could be an emergency backup for. I know, I've done it a couple times, altar serving.
Starting point is 00:18:42 Oh, I did that. Altar serving didn't show up. My mom would say, you better get up there. And there you go. Father Joe would come down the aisle, like, clicking his dentures, like, looking. Call your ass the aisle. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:53 Come right down it. I used to. Not Father Joe. He wasn't like that. He was a straight shooter, and I will go to bat. He's dead now. Don't shit on his name. Anyone else, maybe, but not him.
Starting point is 00:19:06 There probably is a Father Joe out there that was good. This one, the one that we had. He was good. He was a legit guy. They have the, in hockey, when they have the random emergency goalie. Scott Darling. Yeah. No, Scott Darling was not.
Starting point is 00:19:19 Isn't it Brendan Jones? Yeah, Brendan. Yeah, he's the guy here that was. Brendan. This is the dumbest. Scott Darling was on the team, just so we know. Dumbest question ever. Say there's that was – Brendan. This is the dumbest – My darling was on the team just so we – Dumbest question ever. Say there's an MLB game.
Starting point is 00:19:28 This is totally hypothetical, and a player doesn't show up, and could they bring someone from the stands, like, legally or no? No. Almost certainly not. It has to be on their roster, right? What if they signed a release? Like, I don't care if I get hurt. Like, they have to be –
Starting point is 00:19:41 Or about someone being on the roster because then you could have, like, a ringer come in and do that on purpose. You know what I mean? I think the roster's set in a couple days. I think the actual players union would have a problem if they were just signing players. I think it's just hockey. Hockey's the only one that has a guy who's just sitting there,
Starting point is 00:19:55 and he's there for the whole rink. So, like, you could play on either team. Yeah. It happens, like, maybe once every couple years. Three years ago now? It might have happened this year. There's an emergency goalie who's on call who's at the rink. It's fucking awesome.
Starting point is 00:20:13 I've never heard of that. It's the only sport that can have that. One of those guys won a couple years ago. Yes. Holy shit. See the goalie goal the other day? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:22 First time the Bruins ever had one. Awesome. At least in six years. What do you guys think about the pitch clock in baseball? Love the other day? Yeah. Oh, yeah. First time the Bruins ever had one. Awesome. At least in six years. What do you guys think about the pitch clock in baseball? Love the game. Love it. Two and a half hours? Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:20:30 Oh, did you guys – I thought of you right away, KB. Did you hear Keith Hernandez? There's a guy on the Marlins. His name is Jazz Chisholm. Yeah. Swaggy. Why does that sound familiar? Well, Keith's a cover athlete for MLB show this year.
Starting point is 00:20:48 Similar to you, but Keith Hernandez accidentally introduced him as Chaz Jism. Yep. Isn't that the name of your trainer? Chaz Gresham. Chaz Gresham. He's a real person, yeah. Yeah. Anytime I see a Chaz, I think of you in that Uber. Chaz Gresham is a real person. Yeah. Anytime I see a Chaz, I think of you in that Uber.
Starting point is 00:21:07 Chaz Gresham. I got a influencer. Want to come by Planet Fitness? You were all money. I was a monster. Just get a pump in, take some pictures. I went to a Manchester United bar at 9 a.m. yesterday. What?
Starting point is 00:21:23 Watched the Carabao Cup Finals. Soccer? Yes. Football? yesterday. What? Watched the Carabao Cup Finals. Are you getting into soccer? Yes. Football? No. What's your team? Aston Villa. Ah.
Starting point is 00:21:31 Damn. I was there. Yeah. What was the vibe, everybody? I didn't like the guys. They were like singing the whole time, but they were American, but they were singing in a British accent. In the bar?
Starting point is 00:21:44 Dorky. Yeah. Dorky yeah dorky i i went to one i tried to get into like hey let's go to a bar at 8 a.m and watch a game and it was like i got all pumped up drank some beers and it was liverpool everton and it was a zero zero tie and i was like i'll never do this again so i watched it yeah it was like a two-oh game one was an own goal and i just had like three three Guinnesses on an empty stomach, so it was just like I signed up for diarrhea by noon. Yeah. Yeah, that's tough.
Starting point is 00:22:08 Hangover by one. Hangover by one. Yeah. That's shitty. And then they only have British food there. Oh, a lot of beans. Yeah, I just had peas and bread, yeah. Old English.
Starting point is 00:22:18 Blood sausage. Limpy bacon. There was a dude named Zeb there. He was cool. That is sweet. Yeah. What did he play, bass? Yeah. I did he play, bass? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:27 I guess he did. You can tell by the calluses on only four fingers. That's so sick. That's a sick hat, too, Big Cat. Oh, yeah, I found it over there. Red Beans and Rice Guy. Shout out. Shout out, Devin.
Starting point is 00:22:38 I like John. I like John. Hold the mayo. Hold that fucking mayo. Three names. That dude has all three names, not the wazoo. I will say this. He needs fucking mayo. Three names. That dude has all three names. He needs a... He needs a wazoo. I will say this. He needs a set name.
Starting point is 00:22:47 Ah. Because I call him mayo when I... He's a rapper too, bro. He's a rapper? Rappers have multiple names. Like, yeah, I heard he's nice with the freestyles. Also, his accent is so good. It's great.
Starting point is 00:22:59 Someone has described it... Are you helped? There's maybe a comedian. Someone described the New Orleans accent that it's basically New Yorkers that are a little slow. And then when you hear it, you're like, oh, shit, that is. That's so accurate. This shit is different. They have a little bit of that.
Starting point is 00:23:14 It shows the line between special ed and cool as hell. It's crazy because it works. I was always the cool kids like in high school, though, towing the line of special ed. The Sidney Sweeney of accents. It's a little Jewish, too. that accent is only in new orleans if you get 30 miles out of new orleans it's not there at all that's cool crazy yeah it's dope ron do you have any akas aka the muffin man aka crisco aka my grandma's favorite grandson acts my grandma that's old shit. That's old shit, though. That's old shit. Yeah. Chauncey.
Starting point is 00:23:48 Don't say that. That's a slur. Towards white people. Ron, are you wearing mismatched socks? I know. I just noticed it as I was sitting here. I felt so embarrassed, and I was hoping no one would call attention to it.
Starting point is 00:24:02 I apologize, but I couldn't. The stripes really betray me. It sucks dick. I look like a goddamned fool. I keep getting fooled by the sneakers app. I think it's a rare drop happening. I enter and I just get it immediately. I got a pair of sixes on the way.
Starting point is 00:24:20 I'm not going to wear those. That doesn't fit my silhouette. Yeah, where you win the sneakers app and you're like, wait, I don't want these. Yeah. I didn't expect to wear those. That doesn't fit my silhouette. Yeah, where you win the sneakers app, and you're like, wait, I don't want these. Yeah. I didn't expect to win this. I ended up planning on losing, but that wasn't a hot drop. I don't know what's hot. I've returned a win before. You can do that?
Starting point is 00:24:34 Yeah. Because I was like, wait, I just signed up for this because I was trying to get a win, and no one wanted this sneaker, including me. They're still available in every size. Yeah, right. The way that they framed it as, like, you win because you get to buy this is, like, genius on their part, to be honest.
Starting point is 00:24:51 Tricks you into wanting... Yeah. What is it, just like a bidding type thing? It's just when they, like, drop, and I get a notification, and I enter, and I just win, I get them immediately. Yeah, what are sneakerheads doing
Starting point is 00:25:06 are they still are they still crushing it because I'll I don't know I think that the sneakerhead culture has kind of waned off but then I'll see a video of dudes like
Starting point is 00:25:14 milling about a sneaker convention being like are these shits tough and like shit I've never seen or heard of sneakerheads are the least funny guys yeah like my algorithm is like
Starting point is 00:25:22 they are but my algorithm is like sneakerhead like guys that own resale shops doing sketches. Yeah. Horrible. We got to do a contest to
Starting point is 00:25:30 find the funniest sneaker head. Oh. And we did get Travis Maldonado I'm sure you saw world America's funniest Travis. I think Brandon Walker's
Starting point is 00:25:38 the funniest sneaker head. I'm not saying what are you wearing today. There are people you kind of are. So the Zoom Flight 95s You kind of are a sneakerhead If you wear different shoes every day
Starting point is 00:25:49 Yeah Well I just, I tried I dabbled with being a sneakerhead And I was like this is If you don't have outdoor shoes I was bored Who's the flyest comedian? Probably like Andrew Schultz
Starting point is 00:26:04 Does he have steez? Oh yeah he's steez? Oh, yeah. He's steezed up. A bunch of them just did a fashion show for Paris Fashion Week. It was like Jeff Ross. Comedians go out of their way to get frumpy, though, for the stage. I wore a solid gray hoodie that makes me look pretty fat, and I crumpled it up before I went out there. Maybe I'm just modeling myself after you.
Starting point is 00:26:25 There are some cool-ass comedians. Like, cool dudes. But then you don't want to laugh at those guys. They can't have it all. They have to be really funny. Jeff Ross hangs out with models and is a Hollywood no-boo guy now. I don't think I would ever think of Jeff Ross
Starting point is 00:26:41 as a cool comedian. Oh, he's so cool. But I think the way that he presents himself now, I think he's a cool guy comedian. No, there's no way. Bro. Jeff Ross is a cool comedian. Oh, he's so cool. But I think the way that he presents himself now, I think he's like a cool guy comedian. No, there's no way. Bro. Jeff Ross? He does fashion shows.
Starting point is 00:26:51 I saw he literally went to the roast battle that I was at with like a bunch. He needed to like clear room for like the four models that he was with. Is he okay? He looks different. I know because he's a cool guy now. Mustache now. He has a mustache. He wears leather jackets and
Starting point is 00:27:05 wide-brimmed hats. What do you think about everybody getting a chance to go to Le Bernardin? What do you mean? I'm for it. I already put it on. You did? So I put it back on the wheel. The whole wheel? Whole wheel. That's awesome. And the rule is
Starting point is 00:27:21 when it lands on it, we're going to wheel for three new people. That's awesome. And the rule is, when it lands on it, we're going to wheel for three new people. That's awesome. So everyone has a chance to get back. So it actually will be like two people who won't get it, ever. Should it be two of us and one outsider? No, no, no. Three in this room slash...
Starting point is 00:27:40 Two people are just going to be hard fucked. Yeah, so it's you, three, five. Yeah, there's seven people. So four people. What was your thinking behind putting it back on? I had so much fun. I literally wanted to go for lunch again. It was just fun.
Starting point is 00:27:53 It's like a cool way to do lunch. It's of a bygone era. I don't think I would like dinner. Of course not. I liked lunch. I had a little buzz. You guys came back a little drunk. Some of us more. Who was? The dog? The dog might have a little buzz. You guys came back a little drunk. Some of us more.
Starting point is 00:28:05 Who was? The dog? The dog went ahead a little. What was he saying? He was still in his Leigh Barden mode, so he was laughing at people who were asking how many stars it was. He poor shamed me. Oh, you've never been? Which is so funny because
Starting point is 00:28:21 I paid. Yeah, but even getting the invite to one of those you're rich yeah i want to go back gotta go back gotta go back spin it yeah why don't we will just maybe wait if we just went instead of relying on the wheel why don't we so there's seven people i think maybe we do i'll take six and six. And one person can never go. Yeah, one person can never go. I like that. Yeah. Yeah, that seems right.
Starting point is 00:28:48 That'd be fun. Well, so I have to go because I've already been. And if I didn't go, I will have already experienced it. Are there even big enough tables? I'm just hoping that it's branded. I think we all know that. Yeah, I got that. It's so fun.
Starting point is 00:29:02 Even in my mind, I knew it was me, so. Yeah, I think we all were thinking of it. Y'all should probably just go. Not bring you. Yeah. It's so fun. Even in my mind, I knew it was me, so. Yeah. I think we all were thinking of it. Y'all should probably just go. Not bring you? Yeah. No. That's how much fun you'll have.
Starting point is 00:29:12 Listen to the wheel. I did talk to Steven and Nate and Roan about once a year doing it as like a, like someday they'll make a movie about us. They've been going to Labor and Hardin once a year for 50 years. The Lunch Club. Yeah. Sequel. I think somebody's probably already on that. Don't you think there's guys or people that already go to Le Bernardin,
Starting point is 00:29:31 that restaurant, once a year? Financiers? If you can't say it, you can't come. Le Bernardin. Barnyard. Barnyard Den. The Bernie. The Bernie place. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Bernie's Beanery? Le Bernardin. There it is.
Starting point is 00:29:47 Is that close enough? Yeah. Why don't we spin the wheel? Let's see if we get it. Let me do the high noonette. Do that again. Yeah, do the high noonette. Do the side. Wait, wrong.
Starting point is 00:29:55 You want to? He's like the best at it. I mean, he's best at it. I want to do it now. I was trying to take the yoke off, brother. Go ahead. We've actually started grading Brandon's at the day. Oh, okay, please.
Starting point is 00:30:04 No, no, no. It's your, it's your. You've already. I'm not doing the goddamn thing. It's a fun wrinkle. You got it. Want actually started grading Brandon's ad. Oh, okay. For the day. No, no, no. It's your... I don't want to do that. I'm not doing the goddamn ad. It's a fun wrinkle. You got it. Want to do it together? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:10 High Noon is a hard seltzer made with real vodka, real juice, and sparkling water. It doesn't have malt like those other shitty seltzers. Who's doing the ad? Oh, we can't do it together? He's doing it. I got this, bro. It doesn't have malt like those other shitty seltzers. And now they have big cans of peach and pineapple. What?
Starting point is 00:30:28 I could have made a big can. What are you doing? Big cans? Are you part of it? I know, Big Cat. I'm just asking a question. Big Cat, big cans. And they got them in the peach and the pineapple, which is Brandon's favorite.
Starting point is 00:30:39 But take that from me. I like the peach. Take it from me, brother. Only 100 calories, gluten-free, and no added sugar. High Noon's full-time flavors are pineapple, black cherry, watermelon, grapefruit, lime, peach, mango, passion fruit, lemon. And their limited edition flavors are pear, cranberry, and kiwi guava in the pool pack. Oh. Ooh, yum.
Starting point is 00:31:00 What's pear and cranberry in? It's the tailgate pack. Oh. But that's because you're reading along. No, I already knew it. I have a tailgate pack. Oh. But that's because you're reading along. No, I already knew it. I have a tailgate pack stashed under my desk. You think you could do this off the top, this whole ad read, and not miss a single talking point? Yeah, I could.
Starting point is 00:31:13 Remember, KB used to memorize the ads back in the day. What was that ad? He just wanted to fit in. Serious ad, yeah. Serious ad. Well, this one would be more serious. Look for them on Drizzly and at your local convenience or liquor store or visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you.
Starting point is 00:31:29 Yeah, he had to get to a certain amount of words. Just filling it out with fluff. Great ad read. Kind of want to buy a high noon right now. You seriously should. Never felt this way. Yeah. Something different when it comes from the heart.
Starting point is 00:31:43 It was relatable coming from a normal accent. Right. And also a guy who you know actually drinks high noons. I have high noon stashed under my desk. 6,000 pallets and gives them away. I will say Brandon was cracking a high noon at sunrise in Arizona every single day.
Starting point is 00:31:59 He was vacation mode. I'm different when I get out there. Yeah. Brandon, have those shoes been stepped outside? No way. They've stepped outside, yeah. Oh, I stepped on his shoes on Friday like four times. I just kept falling for it. Basketball, he was dribbling.
Starting point is 00:32:16 I was like, let me try to do a low post move on you. And Brandon would be like, alright. And then I would just do a drop step right on his foot. He'd be like, god damn it. Why do I keep falling for this? That's not really He'd be like, God damn it. Why do I keep falling for this? That's not really what I sounded like. Yeah, you're like, God damn it. Give me Christmas.
Starting point is 00:32:30 Brandon. Hey. Did you watch the Murdoch murders documentary? I don't watch any murder shit. Oh. Okay, this one. This is more your speed. Alabama basketball, yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:40 It's insane. Insane. Insane. Because it's like way, I thought it was just one murder. It's like many murders. Yeah, and the way they presented it. Yeah. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:32:51 The kid on the road. The kid, yeah. What is this? It's from Sacramento, right? You got to watch it. You just watch it. It's not on Netflix. It's a lawyer family.
Starting point is 00:32:59 It is on Netflix, isn't it? I watched it on Netflix. It's on Netflix? I just was looking at the. How many are there? Just three episodes. All right, so I watched that one. A little under? I just was looking at the How many are there? Just three episodes Alright so I watched that one A little under an hour I think
Starting point is 00:33:08 Good Dude The story itself Is Again I thought it was like one It's I don't know how y'all watch that real life murder stuff It creeps me out too much
Starting point is 00:33:18 This one isn't as I don't wanna watch it Grim or It's all mysteries Fuck me up when I was nine I can't watch that shit Oh dude that guy You would wanna be His leather coat Robert Stack Yeah he'd scare the fuck out of me or interest. I saw Mysteries fuck me up when I was nine. I can't watch that shit. Oh, dude, that guy.
Starting point is 00:33:26 You would want to be him. His leather coat. Robert Stack? Yeah, he'd scare the fuck out of me. Yeah, the music? I was very excited. Watch Cops and then that. And then you'd just be like...
Starting point is 00:33:34 And then we have the Ghost episode once a season? I couldn't handle that shit. They did a reboot, but Robert Stack is dead. So he wasn't. Is he on it?
Starting point is 00:33:43 No. The reboot was on Netflix like two years ago. That shit was... America's Most Wanted, Pops, and Unsolved Mysteries on Saturday night.
Starting point is 00:33:54 Rescue 911 was an early one. That shit would fuck you up if you were a child watching it. Pops was funny though. Mostly. Listen. I loved Pops. Unsolved Mysteries Mostly. Listen. I loved Cops.
Starting point is 00:34:06 Unsolved Mysteries was never funny. I think that's where I found out about the Unabomber. He was on Unsolved Mysteries. Was he? It was Unsolved. He was on Unsolved Mysteries. My brother is a huge Cops fan. Right.
Starting point is 00:34:18 And do you know they do Cops live now? Well, no. It's not anymore. It got canceled? Oh, yeah. It's not back, though. I don't think back though when it was live it was huge yeah i think they were like yeah these cops are kind of playing it up for the camera and it's not good yeah because they were like very reasonable and nice yeah i saw a family member get arrested on
Starting point is 00:34:40 cops and i stopped after that that's how i found out they got arrested. No. Yeah, it was wild. That's crazy. Shit. I was watching it with, like, my parents. What relation? I can't say that. I watched my dad get arrested, but they made me watch it in court. Yeah? Does that happen in South Park? What? Kenny's sitting there watching cops
Starting point is 00:35:00 and all of a sudden he sees the cops is outside of his house. Oh my god, yeah, it might have. That happens in Shrek 2. It is a weird vibe because my parents used to love that show but when you see that happen, it ruins the night. I can't imagine that. Watch the Iron Giant afterwards.
Starting point is 00:35:16 Sad. That's even worse. I know. I wish I could watch old cops episodes. There's so many funny moments. I think it's on Netflix. My TikTok algorithm is all the best old cops episodes. There's so many funny moments. I think it's on Netflix. My TikTok algorithm is all like the best old cops clips. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:28 My algorithm picked it up. You ever seen the guy doing karate? Has that ever popped up? No, I didn't see that one. It's ring number 911. No, it was like the start of a cops episode. It was a dude, a cop in like sick sunglasses, just like doing karate on a punching bag.
Starting point is 00:35:41 And then he went out and just like tackled some minority. It's like, whoa, this is sick. It's a drink. If you want to fill that void, I recommend the GTA role-playing video. Oh, yeah. I mean, those are – Watching Tee Grizzly play it. It's very funny.
Starting point is 00:35:56 It is. Can we watch another one of those? Those are my favorite. Isn't it like Kodak Black? He made someone strip. I haven't seen him, but I saw that he did play it. He was making someone – The game is so – Let me see what that dick looked like. He was making the dude strip. I haven't seen him, but I saw that he did play it. He was like making someone. The game is so.
Starting point is 00:36:06 Let me see what that dick looked like. He was like making the dude strip. Those are so funny. The game is the coolest thing in the world. Brandon, did you tweet what your son Tommy said to you? No, because he's been, I don't know if he's self-aware or anything, but he's just been saying things recently. He walked into the living room yesterday and said, Dad, why did you let
Starting point is 00:36:26 me and my sister, why did you let us watch Dora the Explorer when we were younger? And I was like, I don't know. I just thought it was something y'all could watch. And he said, the only things you learned from Dora the Explorer are rage, anger, and Spanish. And I was like, good things to learn, huh? Alright, yeah, that's fine.
Starting point is 00:36:42 What did they know? Yeah, he was just digging into me about my parenting. He's been judging my parenting a lot. You and Tommy remind me. You guys remind me of Alec and Paul Murdoch from this show. Yeah. Yes. Murders?
Starting point is 00:36:54 Yes. Yes, well. Southern? No, it kind of hypes them up. They look like the most. It makes them seem so powerful. And it's not manslaughter and murderers. If you have one murderer, you're a murderer, though.
Starting point is 00:37:07 No, no, but the other one, Tommy would be a manslaughterer. How do you know? You don't know how he would kill? Yeah, that was manslaughter. That was Tommy kill. Vehicular manslaughter. Vehicular, right. You're a stone cold murderer.
Starting point is 00:37:20 I don't think you could kill. You're soft as fuck. I can't kill. I can't kill animals. I don't hunt. I can't kill anything. If a spider's in my living room, I pick it up with tissue and go put could kill. You're soft as fuck. I can't kill. I can't kill animals. I don't hunt. I can't kill anything. If a spider's in my living room, I pick it up with tissue and go put it outside. You fish.
Starting point is 00:37:30 I'd put them back. You'd kill a joke. Yeah. Kill your diet every time you try to start. Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're killing yourself. Right. So true.
Starting point is 00:37:46 What's happening? I spin the wheel, and then find me one of those cop clips. Cop clip or video game? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a good airplane. Thanks, brother. Uh-oh. So be it.
Starting point is 00:38:04 All right. That means we spin again? Yeah. That's a clean-looking wheel, too. Agreed. Oh, shit. I wonder if my pagers came in. Already?
Starting point is 00:38:17 Oh. I think. Pagers? I bought a bunch of restaurant pagers. Yeah. If we want anybody on the yak, they'll buzz. We're just going to put it on their desks. Who will they go to?
Starting point is 00:38:26 They'll come here. But I'm saying, who will get them out there? I think Glamour's getting one. Oh, I'm going to pass them out, and then I'll have the control right here. It's like, oh, we want to talk to that person? That's going to be sick. I'll start slobbering like a lab rat. That shit, nothing made you hungrier than that pager.
Starting point is 00:38:43 I also bought Brandon some roller skates. They do need charged, though, so I think when they walk in, they'll have to grab the pagers. Yeah. Yeah. We have to know what number they are. Roller skates? Four-wheelers? Fart eliminator?
Starting point is 00:38:59 No. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go. God damn it. I don't have it. No. Oh, yeah. I't have it. No. Oh, yeah. I just farted. No.
Starting point is 00:39:07 I haven't eaten in fucking 20 hours. Damn it. I have nothing. My butthole saw that, though. This is a dangerous game for me because I went to Fish Market last night, and they have a new soup. I tried a new off-menu soup. That's your spot, right?
Starting point is 00:39:23 Fish Market? Yeah. Do we go on our mics, or do we have to use the fart mic? I'd say fart mic. I tried an off-menu soup. That's your spot, right? Fish Market? Yeah. Do we have to use the fart mic? I'd say fart mic. Why are we doing this? This sucks. Why don't we leave shit on the wheel? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:39:35 I did say that that should be not on the wheel for three months. How long ago was that? Can we turn it into something else? Are we already trying to fart on it? Let's find a way where we can be clever. I think we should just spin again. Let's spin again. Nobody wants to do that.
Starting point is 00:39:49 Nobody wants to do it. I think it needs to be three months. Three months and then it becomes funny again. Too recent. Sass has been brewing up farts. Sass is just pumping. I actually might be able to. I'm trying it.
Starting point is 00:40:00 I have farts ready to go right now. What did you eat yesterday? Chinese food. Was that Kyle? Kyle, I heard that. I heard trying it. I have farts ready to go right now. What did you eat yesterday? Chinese food. Was that Kyle? Kyle, I heard that. I heard that too. Okay, yeah. So if we do it, I'm in.
Starting point is 00:40:12 I'm out. It seems like we're doing it, huh? God damn it. All right, I can't. You guys. I can't. Can I ask one of the OnlyFans girls what her butt is or something like that? Let's just spin again.
Starting point is 00:40:29 Yeah, all right. We tried. But if it lands on fart eliminator again, we have to shit our pants. Deal, deal, deal, deal, deal. I'm afraid. On this spin. Yeah. If it lands on wet, I'm opting out of wet and doing a fart.
Starting point is 00:40:47 No. Yeah. A wet fart. because i don't betray the wheel i'm down to do the fart that known and then take fart eliminator off till three months time we did a wet wheel get on for right now can we put watermelon on it the watermelon rubber band thing oh we gotta just do that Why don't we just do things? Yeah. We did a wet wheel the other day. Kyle went and got wet at the end of the show and it wasn't funny at all. No. We still, oh my God. Okay. Okay. Good. Good. Good.
Starting point is 00:41:18 I'll do ML cake this week. I got to figure out what it is, but I'll do it. You do it tomorrow. I'm not going to be out on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. So is Stephen. On to the combine? Yeah. On to Indy, and then we have Ruff and Rowdy. You get to either of those. I'll be around all next week.
Starting point is 00:41:32 I'll do it next week. Buy rnr.com. Don't want to miss it. It's going to be a classic. Rowan, you'll be there. Oh, I can't wait. Big Dick Booty Daddy's coming. Where's this one at? Charleston?
Starting point is 00:41:41 Charleston, yeah. We've got to fight back. Fuck yeah. All right. It's always TJ. We've got to fight back. It's always TJ. We've got to fly commercial there, though. The milk challenge is... I'm going to drive from India. Like four hours? It's not bad.
Starting point is 00:41:55 It's nice. I like driving. Can you add some more things to this wheel? I added Silent Library. Oh, no. Chile? The milk? no. Chile? The milk.
Starting point is 00:42:07 Cuba? Chile. Cuba. Hibachi is the Hibachi person comes in here, right? Yeah, I'll pay for that. They'll just cook us Hibachi. Let me fart. It's going to be Hibachi.
Starting point is 00:42:24 It's going to be Hibachi. All right. Nice. Thatibachi. All right. Nice. That's fun. All right. So next week, TJ, Stephen, can you figure out how we get a hibachi guy here? We just need, I mean, Chef Donnie might be able to do it. He can't do onion volcano, trust me. And he's also not Asian.
Starting point is 00:42:42 But we just need an open grill surface. The Asian guy. Yeah. Filipino, preferably. You want Filipino? They do it best. Japanese. I know.
Starting point is 00:42:51 I think they do it best. If you do a hibachi place and it's a white dude, do you ask for a refund? Yeah. Just don't sit down. Yeah. I have some bad news about hibachi. In New York City, they can't do the onion volcano because it's something against fire code. There's a benihana near where I used to work.
Starting point is 00:43:06 What the fuck? And it's not hibachi. Do they have the pissing boy? The worst news I've ever heard. I don't know, but it was legitimately a Benihana. What's the pissing boy? They spray it on the... They squeeze a boy and he pees on the grill.
Starting point is 00:43:20 Do you guys know? Is that only my... Really, Matt? Squeeze a boy? Yeah, the fusion in the highlands. Activates urine? I think that's yours. No, it's a little boy holding-
Starting point is 00:43:28 He's sake. It might be sake, and he's peeing. Search hibachi pissing boy. Oh, you're talking about that little, you pull his shorts down, and a little pee comes out, but it's filled with oil? I don't know about that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:39 It's called like a weepy wee-wee or something weird like that. I actually think we should do a spin on this. I think we should spin to see who has to be the hibachi cook. You're going to be my child peon. And then we can do an onion. Why are we getting owls? We didn't do the fart elimination. I farted.
Starting point is 00:43:54 Listen, it's got to be. EKB farted. I definitely said that it has to be three months time. EKB inside. Because then it's funny again. That L means it stands for love. Yeah, that's true. I love you guys back.
Starting point is 00:44:06 Didn't we have Fart Eliminator twice anyway? Yeah. Two days in a row. Yeah. Yep. Gotta let that pause. Then it randomly comes up and we're like, what the fuck? We gotta do a better job of navigating what's on the wheel or making sure funny things are on the wheel.
Starting point is 00:44:19 Fart Eliminator just living there was silly. Let's do a complete wheel revamp. Oh, we could do another one, yeah. Do you like the name wheels? Yeah, we could do a revamp. KB, you ever guap up a homeless? Hold on, I'm going to see if my shit's here. No, I haven't.
Starting point is 00:44:37 Pagers? Pagers Stoyakovich? Oh, fucking shit. Kate, what did you do all weekend? I went down to the... When it's cold out, I have found that the 55 and up community that my parents live in, they live in an apartment. It's all olds. My son loves it
Starting point is 00:44:58 down there. Where's it at? It's down in Exton. Oh, nice. All the olds are pumped to see him. They got shuffleboard, all the old people games. And he just goes, they put little decorations outside their doors for him. He goes from door to door.
Starting point is 00:45:10 There's dogs. It's like my go-to. So my parents is a blast. Yeah, it's like a really good time. They drink fireball every Tuesday. They're like drinking a ton. They have like a liquor cabinet in the main room.
Starting point is 00:45:21 So he likes funeral homes and now he's to retirement homes. He's Benjamin Buttoning. He's pretty much right right he's going the other way but yeah no i just go down to the the 55 and up what's the funeral home something mania calhoun mania yeah we were just there again this on yesterday they need merch they do they're angry at us. Yeah? They're angry at you guys, not me. They love me. Now I'm going to have to fart. No.
Starting point is 00:45:49 Why? I don't think you guys should let them bully you. That's funny. Personally, I'm down to fart. I don't think you guys should let them control you. I begged you guys to fart, but you said no. How many farts you got in you? Could you fart for all of us? Yeah, because you think you did?
Starting point is 00:46:00 Oh, fart champion. Yeah. That's not part of the rules. No, but we're actually suggesting it. Yeah, probably not.? Oh, fart champion. Yeah. That's not part of the rules. No, but we're asking. I'm just suggesting it. Probably not. We could pick fart champions. I want Danny. The way he's fucking munching on it.
Starting point is 00:46:15 All right, here we go. I might go get my sister. She's a prolific farter. I'm going to get Kamaz. What? I just won't even be able to hear it. I don't know. I just thought it was a thing to label her as.
Starting point is 00:46:22 Thank you, Ebony. Ebony? It's like as seen on OnlyFans. God, I just fucking ripped. That sounded like a knuckle popping. I agree with you.
Starting point is 00:46:42 These guys. That was a classic splat. That was gross. Oh, man. That was a classic splat. That was gross. Oh, man. That smelled. I wish I knew because I kind of let out a lot of them. You all right, Brandon? I hate farts.
Starting point is 00:46:59 I just hate farts. Of course, Joey Langone has the pissing boy. I farted. Wireless calling system. Let's go. How much is this again? It's like 200 bucks. Put your butt down.
Starting point is 00:47:16 Sorry. I'm kidding. You can lift your butt up. I really don't care. I don't hate farts as much as Brandon. I have a no fart rule in my car and how's penny doing uh not good to be honest with you what yeah she's doing uh not not good at all to be honest with you guys behavior or health health oh and to be honest i feel bad uh ever making fun of you your dog ownership uh i've been struggling a lot with that recently.
Starting point is 00:47:45 Yeah. She is very sick. Oh. What? I kind of want to spike the football, but I don't think I should. Yeah. Dog. You can do whatever you want because we've been a dick to you.
Starting point is 00:48:00 But, yeah, I think it's canine distemper which is a pretty pretty pretty negative thing and so we're trying to do some intervention like Hail Mary intervention type of things but
Starting point is 00:48:13 oh man I'm sorry who knows if that shit will work terrible I'd appreciate you asking I shouldn't have asked appreciate you asking happy to bring the mood up
Starting point is 00:48:21 alright let's let's fart but I flew back I flew back early yesterday from Toronto to spend time with her. Took her out to Coney Island. She saw the beach, so I get things off.
Starting point is 00:48:34 Oh, damn. That's awful. It's not your thing for me to ask. No, it's not your fault. It's just bad, bad, bad luck. She was vaccinated for it, too, but you know those things don't work. Bullshit.
Starting point is 00:48:49 So while we're on it, I think we all expected those pagers to be a lot bigger than they are. They're the exact right size. I was expecting coaster size. You want me to buy more? I'll buy more. They're not the pagers that you get in the 99. I thought you were rich. How are we going to figure out the 20 people that get them?
Starting point is 00:49:07 I don't know. There's not even 20 people in the office right now. Yeah. We're not going to have a hard time. We should all draft one person to give our pager to. Yeah, we should award the pager. I'm giving mine to Ron. Don't.
Starting point is 00:49:24 No, you deserve it dude Thank you bro That means a lot man It's been a tough time I'm giving mine to Blattman For you Nick I know just where He can keep it
Starting point is 00:49:34 Right in between those cheeks Yeah Yeah Here we go It could fit We're paging him all the time Yeah it could fit You're saying that his ass is so bulbous
Starting point is 00:49:49 Yeah he's got a tight ass Here he is back from Europe Yeah He's on his Europe shit I know he wasn't fitting in those seats over there No chance Tiny little plates He had two toilets
Starting point is 00:50:04 One for each of his bulbous ass cheeks Arrow eyes, tiny little plates. He needs two toilets. One for each of his bulbous ass cheeks. I'm sure these toilets aren't big enough. His ass is so big he needs two toilets. What? The cheek is what's pooping, not the hole of the butt. He has one cheek on each of his shits on the floor. Come on, Brandon. Plug that shit in there. Come on, Brandon.
Starting point is 00:50:29 You got it. No butt crack. None. Not a single. Oh! That's awesome. So how do you know which one you're calling? They're numbered.
Starting point is 00:50:41 There's buttons on the... Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's good. That is so good. No way. How far do you think it'll go?
Starting point is 00:50:49 I don't know. Let's find out. How do I stop it? Do you put it in the thing? How do I stop it? I'll put it in the thing. The Olive Garden at the Highlands, I could go to Books A Million and still... Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:59 So probably a football field. I think we've got... Who goes up to? Dang. Was Books A Million a different store. Yeah. Yeah. Secret camera
Starting point is 00:51:07 and just hide these over there and I'll start hitting them. Yeah. I like that idea or just put one on somebody's desk without them noticing
Starting point is 00:51:14 and then go go against the idea of the this does. Yes. Go just all right. Nice. I are free to go.
Starting point is 00:51:28 This thing is awesome. Check it out. Ah. Do they vibrate? I don't know why. I don't know why I'm like, like, of course this is what it is. Why are you throwing them so far?
Starting point is 00:51:43 Yeah, we don't need them. 13. I'm 11. I've got 13 ready. I was actually here first. Mine beat first before. No, it wasn't. No, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:51:53 I was in line before this guy. I was in line before this guy. How'd you get 13 then if I got 11? Because I was here before you. No, you weren't because I got 11. He gave me an order. It's like golf. Ah.
Starting point is 00:52:03 If this guy eats before me, I'm leaving. Steven, go hide these around the office and I'll start hitting all the numbers. Oh, you can turn it off yourself. What? You want me to hide several of them? Yeah. Oh, okay. Hide them like right on this side and then just go sit out there and I'll just hit them all. This guy has his entree.
Starting point is 00:52:19 We haven't even got our appetizers yet. What's going on? I'd at least like to get a drink. This thing is awesome. Yeah, it is. It's going to get no use. So dumb. And we're going to use it.
Starting point is 00:52:32 It should be an honor to get one of those. Yeah. This is like when an autistic kid gets a present and it's the box. It's an avocado, yeah. This is exactly like that. Yeah. In every single way. Dude, this is so fucking cool.
Starting point is 00:52:46 Keep talking that shit. Look, I'll get you beeping up. See how far you can get. See what the range is. Go drop these. I don't want to drop them. Why? He farted.
Starting point is 00:53:01 He's got a point. Man can do whatever he wants. He farted. He's a made man. We'll just leave a couple of these on the deck. We should give them to people to hold on to forever. And if it goes off, that's us summoning them. I think we have to hand them out every day, though. We've got to recharge them.
Starting point is 00:53:17 No, they just bring them back. It's their responsibility. We should have it out so people want to grab them in the morning, but that should incentivize them to come in some way. Also, we won't know who has which number. That would be kind of fun. Oh, that is cool. They get $100.
Starting point is 00:53:31 Let's just get 11 in here. We spin it, and we're just like, yeah, get seven in here. Give it to five people, whoever comes in the fastest, whoever comes in the slowest. Put these on the desks over by where Joey and them sit. Just put a couple down in random spots. Does Spy cam out already? Yes, Spy cam.
Starting point is 00:53:50 I just want to see what the reactions will be. We're going to Mr. Beast these people? Yeah, a little bit. Game of Heads? No, you can just play a couple hidden. Don't give one to Clemmer. That means he's a free guy. Don't give one to anyone.
Starting point is 00:54:02 Just put them out. They're not going to know where to go. I know. I just want to see what their reaction is when something's just... It's like rats in a maze. Can they figure it out? Yeah. Do you guys get talks in your algorithm of the guy that stands on the campus with like a $100 bill? Yeah. I hate that.
Starting point is 00:54:21 I don't like that. He's like, I'm depressed. I need someone to talk to. And then he flips over and he's like, oh, that guy sucks. No shit, dude. He thinks he figured out some like, oh, look at how fucked up our society is. People want free money instead of talking
Starting point is 00:54:38 to a stranger. We sent our least sneaky guy to do this. Yes. Yeah. Did you what is he doing? Just walking right up to people. No, I just had a question to ask him about a NASCAR thing. He has to ask him.
Starting point is 00:54:50 Is he working right now? Yeah. Yep. I guess he was sneaky there. Yeah, that was kind of sneaky. I... Okay. Have you seen the TikTok
Starting point is 00:55:00 of that guy that's like, how much is your rent? Can I see your apartment? Yes. He went up to that guy that just holds a sign on Instagram. Oh, yeah. You see his apartment? Holy fuck.
Starting point is 00:55:09 Is it super nice? Is BFT here today? God damn it. I know. That's what I said. Jerry, is BFT here today? There's going to be a lot of comments about how dirty the office is. Well, it's disgusting.
Starting point is 00:55:19 It is. Yeah, I guess that's why there will be comments. We need a brush fire to kind of just sweep out the layer of trash we have. It's really gross. Seeing it on camera is so much more shocking than now. Yeah. Way too many places. When I have friends in town, they're like, can I see the office?
Starting point is 00:55:36 They've never been satisfied with the tour. Oh, no. Wait, TJ, do you have a camera that we can watch of, like, the office, the security cam? Oh, yeah. Can we cut to that angle of, like, the rund have a camera that we can watch of the office, the security cam? Oh, yeah. Can we cut to that angle of the rundown? What's he doing? I'm just writing. Oh, there we go.
Starting point is 00:55:54 That's exactly what's happening. I have notifications set for that on the Trusted Data account. He's having real conversations. That's how he's being sneaky. He also didn't let... I wanted to be in one little area so he could sit. Jeff Vibber's desk. It is Monday,
Starting point is 00:56:16 so I guess the week's almost over. That's how it works. He's trapped in a convo. That's Sass's desk. Don't put it on Sass's desk. Right. He's fully trapped in a convo That's Sass's desk Don't put it on Sass's desk Right He's fully trapped in a convo Yep I'm gonna start peeping him Yep
Starting point is 00:56:34 Oh boy Bail, bail, bail Bail, bail Steven, get out of there Yeah Yeah Chatty ass Duggs. Yeah, that's a good strategy.
Starting point is 00:56:49 Oh, no. Oh, my God. Let me know when you hop back on. He's pranking us. I would. Hey. Steven. Steven, go back towards where Alex Bennett is.
Starting point is 00:57:03 I'll put one in the trash can. Steven. Oh, look. All right. Bennett is. I'll put one in the trash can. Steven. Oh, look. All right. Now should I start hearing him? What is he doing? What is he doing? You come to work every day.
Starting point is 00:57:19 Clem are giving him some sass. Always. Yes. Okay. Clem is getting real sassy. I like it. Oh, yeah. It's the best. All right, Steven. That's enough. I donmer is getting real sassy. I like it.
Starting point is 00:57:26 Steven, that's enough. I don't think he can hear us. Yeah, slide. Should I start hitting him? Until he comes back. No, don't put any over there. It doesn't do anything for us. We got to test the range, though.
Starting point is 00:57:45 Yeah, true. It's going to be mass chaos. He's coming back through. All right, I'm going to start hitting him. Get out of there, Steven. Get out of there. Go, go, go. It's like when a guy's running from an explosion. You've got to play cool.
Starting point is 00:58:03 Walk away. Drop the gun. Just walk away. Don't run. Oh, heads are turning. Are we foxes? Go back to the other camera. Oh, yeah. Oh, look at Clemmer. Like when a meerkat comes out of a hole. Are they all beeping?
Starting point is 00:58:26 Oh, look. Is Clemmer pissed? Clemmer's fed up with this. What are you mad about? Oh, he's looking. He's like, what the fuck is this? If it's a bomb. He's going to go back.
Starting point is 00:58:37 Oh, he doesn't. He's so confused. He's been, he's had a short fuse lately. Yeah. Is that? He's been He's had a short fuse lately Ken Jack is looking around Oh Robbie Clemmer is so mad Yeah we got them all Look
Starting point is 00:58:57 He's so mad He's gonna go back to his old job Of being a necktie Oh the spider's on it Look at that one. Maybe stop for an extended period. Well, no, because I think they're turning them off, so I'm going to keep turning them on.
Starting point is 00:59:16 Oh, you have the power to override it? Yeah. This is awesome. Oh, they're getting them. By awesome. Oh, yeah. It's really only fun for us. Rounding them up. I wish Troops was here. It's really only fun for us. Rounding them up. I wish Troops was here.
Starting point is 00:59:26 He's the best to walk with. He's got a stream. We're going to put him in the couch. Oh, man. Like all 20. All of them. Yes, yes. And then we'll do 19, then like wait one hour.
Starting point is 00:59:38 Clemmer's about to kill him, motherfucker. Clemmer. Does he know that? These little fucking things are everywhere. The perfect foil Donald Colgate They got a good distance She goes such a grinder
Starting point is 00:59:58 She doesn't even pick her head up It's so respectable Let's see this go back out there They got camera on Che So respectable. Steve's going back out there. They got camera on Che. Liam's got... God. Thank God. Oh, he collected all of them.
Starting point is 01:00:22 Spider did. What number does he got there? It's only a couple. It's only four, five. Can we get audio on Che or is he? He's muted. What a fucking idiot. He took them and now he's coming back.
Starting point is 01:00:38 All right, so that's basically this whole thing that I just bought for $200. All right. Let's do it again. Wait, is there an upstairs camera? I want to interrupt real work. Yeah. There's no upstairs camera? What'd they say? I like the upstairs. What'd he say?
Starting point is 01:00:55 Yeah. Five, six, seven, two, three. We're missing one and eight. I just got a text from Ken Jack. Che is the least smooth person alive. What's up? Everyone's sitting at their desk. No, dude, you just put it out of order.
Starting point is 01:01:13 God damn it. Kid farts, thinks he can do anything. You guys going to fart? Yeah. After the show. Tonight. I'm so far from having a fart. Can I borrow a fart?
Starting point is 01:01:29 Can you fart for me? I'll try. Okay. This is a waste of money. We just have two that are sitting out there now. Maybe slip one by Glennie and his OnlyFans girl. We'll call them back. We got to put it in the room.
Starting point is 01:01:43 Are they already recording it? They're right behind you. I don't know if we want to put a vibrating device in there. He won't notice. Okay, well, that was my fault. That was awesome. I mean, I had fun. I'm happy that we have those.
Starting point is 01:02:01 We'll do something else. The original idea is the best. Yeah, we, yeah. We can call people. We're having five people. They go off or they're hidden on some fucking Willy Wonka. A little golden ticket. People come in.
Starting point is 01:02:17 They get free money. Or like, did you guys see the video of the guy with the mystery box? And he's going up to people like, would you shave your head for what's in this mystery box? Yeah. They shave their head and it was a... Yeahty yeah was that supreme patty yep what an asshole wait what's in the mystery box quarter oh and so this girl shaves her head a woman for a quarter that's at the sneaker shows those guys at the mystery boxes have you seen that yeah like 200 like what 200 bucks or something and you get a mystery box but some of the shoes could be worth thousands but most of
Starting point is 01:02:49 them are worth like these little kids going up and paying their all their hard-earned money getting sure money and getting like nothing mystery box could be anything really good really good dang i guess you're right brand Brandon. Could be literally anything. It could even be a boat. What's that shirt about, Brandon? It's just a general statement. I'm a poor. That's not true. It's MJF's shirt. The shirt that MJF.
Starting point is 01:03:16 It's a wrestling shirt. That's dope. Yeah. It's funny to wear it since you're rich now. If you were wearing that while you were poor. I would have felt very bad, yeah. Although, this shirt has gotten more. On the train today, it got like five comments of people speaking up.
Starting point is 01:03:34 That recognize it, or? No, one guy said, I'm sorry. I said, for what? He said that you're poor. All right, well, relax. You mean money, or fucking shut up about it? The irony is, it costs $65. So, to buy it, you
Starting point is 01:03:45 have to have some extra money. What do you think the right price for a hoodie is? I think in the $40 to $50 range. Oh, no. What? Is that too high? Too low. That's cheap material.
Starting point is 01:04:01 However much they're selling them for at fucking A&F, bro. That shit was probably fucking 300. That's a great sweatshirt. Nah, it's perma-stained. So? You know it's good. Jesus, do you have one of those cop videos?
Starting point is 01:04:21 I got the Kodak Black one. Oh, yeah. Yeah, do T- Yeah, do T-slash. Hey, do T-slash. I don't have jeans, man. Oh, man. He's much better that way. Butt naked.
Starting point is 01:04:33 Take them bosses off. Thank you. Thank you, man. Take them bosses off, homie. Stop dick eating, bro. Take them bosses off, homie. Let me see how big that dick is, man. Take it, man.
Starting point is 01:04:44 Take all that dick off, man. Take all that dick is. Let me see how big that dick is. Let's see how big that dick is. Let me see how big that dick is. Hilarious thing to say when you're robbing someone. Making dudes fuck each other when you rob them. Look at this little wallet blade that we got, that Nick got and gave it to me. I see. Got a bunch of knives at the show. Oh, jeez.
Starting point is 01:05:13 Put it in your credit card and then you just cut that safety. Cut that Red Bull can top to bottom. I don't think this thing is capable of... Oh, shit! I think it is. Are you flying soon? I know. I got to take it out. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:26 Oh, good call. Pretty sweet. Yeah, that's it. That is sweet. I gave them all away. Damn. I was throwing them out to the audience. With perfect precision.
Starting point is 01:05:39 Did you guys kiss somebody at the show? I kissed somebody on the fucking lips. Oh. Whoa. Yeah, a dude came up to me. He pulled out the coin. He cheek for on the fucking lips. Oh. Yeah, a dude came up to me, pulled out the coin. He cheek for photo, lips for,
Starting point is 01:05:48 you know, to honor the coin. I said, do you want lips or cheek? And he said, what do you think? Went right in for the lips. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:56 That's a cute picture. You got this chili. That's good looking. Who does he seem happier to be kissed by? That's not a Yak fan. Oh. He's way too good looking. I know. Yeah, that's not. That's not, imagine if he he seem happier to be kissed by? That's not a Yak fan. No. He's way too good looking.
Starting point is 01:06:06 I know. Yeah, that's not. Imagine if he was just like one of the hundreds of people right now being like, fuck them, they won't fart. Yeah. He owns a coin. He probably is. He's one of those guys.
Starting point is 01:06:18 Has the chat gotten more mad or less mad, TJ? A bunch of people probably left. Oh, no. Hello. Idaho. Idaho. Mad TJ A bunch of people Probably left Oh no Hello Idaho Idaho He was attractive Can I borrow $8.99 a month
Starting point is 01:06:34 I got you bro You know I got you You know that $10.99 a month Will get you at Chili's The Chili's free for me deal Only at Chili's A bottomless drink A starter like bottomless chips and salsa,
Starting point is 01:06:47 and a full-size entree like the classic old-timer with cheese and a big old side of fries. That's the Chili's 3 for me deal. I'm telling you it is a feast, but like a casual feast. I mean, it's just $10.99, and we're not even talking golden forks and stuff. You can get this unbeatable abundance of food elsewhere, whether you're getting fast food or picking up groceries. You cannot get this unbeatable abundance of food anywhere else. I love Chili's.
Starting point is 01:07:15 I love Chili's. Environment, atmosphere, there's nothing that gives me that down-home, nostalgic vibe like Chili's. Bacon ranch, cheese fries. It's. Bacon ranch cheese fries. It's comforting as all get out. Head to your local Chili's where you can enjoy the three-for-me deal for just $10.99. That's a steal. Yep. Great logo.
Starting point is 01:07:36 The top of the Chili is the apostrophe. Come on. Come on. I feel like you like every logo. I love Chili's so much. It is my favorite restaurant. I used to do my birthday's at Chili bit. Come on, come on. I love Chili's so much. Yeah, I do too. It is my favorite restaurant. I used to do my birthdays at Chili's.
Starting point is 01:07:49 It's all I wanted. What's the airport with the Chili's? And everyone's like, this is the best airport. Orlando, right? Orlando. That's the one that did. The escalator. Yeah, the escalator that goes up.
Starting point is 01:07:57 Yep. Hank and I went there. It was 2015. Tampa Bay versus the Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup final. We went there because we were early for our flight, and we asked the waitress. She was like, how are you guys doing? We're like, good, how are you? And she goes, living the dream.
Starting point is 01:08:13 Oh, yeah. It's like, damn. And then just a little tip for everyone out there going to Chili's, the minute you sit down, you get bottomless chips. You need to be doing at least three rounds of bottomless chips before the entrees come. Three is insane. Anytime I get two, it ruins my meal. I fucking love free food.
Starting point is 01:08:36 Chip to death, baby. I'll chip myself to death every day. I'll sit there and just be like, I know I'm ruining my meal, but I love chips. She wants attention, I feel like. Should we give her a pager? What was the noise that you made, Brandon? Should we give her a pager? Should we put a pager in there?
Starting point is 01:08:51 Yeah. Is that a motorboat? Is that an explanation or just hand it to her? No, no, no. Just put it in there. Just throw it in. I feel incredibly inadequate right now. She's really pretty.
Starting point is 01:09:03 He's writing. He's viciously writing's writing He's vicious Voraciously writing What's her name? Shout out her OnlyFans Yeah If you were a guy who wanted To know where to follow her Who has it?
Starting point is 01:09:20 Steven, go get it Just run in and ask her what her only fans is just get the name Steve can you tell her I said you pass that along we immediately went
Starting point is 01:09:38 in the wrong room yep it's out and about Joey's at this one yep he can see. He's doing his hand motions. Kyle.
Starting point is 01:09:52 This is awkward. It's awkward. So awkward. He's like these fucking horn dogs on the glasses. She's a fucking dork. Yuck.
Starting point is 01:10:01 Next. Amy Briggs over here. All right. Four eyes. Thanks. Janie Briggs over here. Alright, four eyes. Nice plane. What do you mean box? Janie Briggs was the knockoff character in Not Another Team movie. Oh, really? Yes, brother.
Starting point is 01:10:15 What do we got, Steven? It's Patty K. P-A-T-T-Y or P-A-T-I-K-A-Y-Y. Oh, no. What, were you distracted? You got to go ask him. P-A-T-I-K-A-Y-Y.
Starting point is 01:10:37 Patty K. Paddock. It's Patty K. It's Patty K. Yes. You spelled out the K. Or that's her last name. It's Patty K-P- You spelled out the K. Or that's her last name. It's P-A-T-T-E-Y-I-E?
Starting point is 01:10:53 No. P-A-T-I-K-A-Y-Y. P-A-T-I-K-A-Y-Y. Why are there two Y's? Found her. There we go. Yeah. She plays go. Yeah. She plays golf.
Starting point is 01:11:08 Ooh. Don't they all? No. She got it linked up with rigs. Hmm. Huh. Interesting. I'm still raking in about 300 bucks a month on mine
Starting point is 01:11:26 that's awesome I haven't opened the app in like 6 months apologies to whoever keeps forgetting what was your peak money I think I made like 15 grand peak and then I felt horribly guilty and then I just was too anxious to ever open it again
Starting point is 01:11:42 but you did get the 15 grand before you felt guilty yeah but they don't take taxes out so I'm gonna I just was too anxious to ever open it again, and so then I just let it slowly die. But you did get the 15 grand before you felt guilty. Yeah, but they don't take taxes out, so I'm going to have to tell my – I have to, like, go to H&R Block and tell the old lady in my neighborhood, Rita, that I have to explain it, which I'm not looking forward to. Only fans. I'm just trying to get my 1, 4, and 8 back. Where are they? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:12:03 Are they still going off? I can... My best one was Frank was in the gambling cave watching something almost laying down and I threw it on the couch behind him. That might be 8. Can we go to the gambling cave right now? It's number 7.
Starting point is 01:12:19 That is number 7. 7 and 8. It was probably right by the baseball bat, so it's probably gone if we can't see it from here. Shit. If you put it next to him, do you think we could convince him that every time he touches it, it turns off?
Starting point is 01:12:37 Like he has a magic power? He's probably just powering through this. It's probably going off. What is he watching? Steven, go put some more in there. Yeah, throw a bunch on that back couch.
Starting point is 01:12:54 Yeah. Yeah. No, no. Yeah, I know know Throw them all around on the couch Put them in the back couch Let's just do one at a time with them Not all at once I know, I'll wait He finds one
Starting point is 01:13:15 Put them all there at once Go in there and be like I'm looking for something Then hide them around the gambling cave You got this, bro Or don't even go. You could just probably open up the window and just... Alright, okay.
Starting point is 01:13:29 Bring back some snacks, too. Oh, yeah. Good snacks today. Cosmic brownies. We got Tostitos. These guys are trying to fart. Snacks. Alright. Are you nerds trying to fart? I already got one out. You didn't.
Starting point is 01:13:45 I know. I heard nicks. Unless you nerds trying to fart? I already got one out. You didn't. So loud. Ben has. I know. I heard Nick's. Unless you're old and didn't hear it. Oh, no. It was so high-pitched. Unless you're poor and you didn't hear the fart. Too poor to hear a fart.
Starting point is 01:13:57 I'm so poor. Jeff Foxworthy. I'm such a redneck, I can't even hear farts. Crowd's going crazy. Frank saw Jeff Dunham last night. Oh, yeah. At Progressive Center? At Prudential Center?
Starting point is 01:14:13 He's been like, Frank has had residency at the Prudential Center. Yeah, but... Just put three in the same spot. Dunham, I guess, has a new puppet. He called me over to his desk to look at his new puppet, and he said it looks exactly like Sass. Yeah, he told me as well. Nothing like Sass, right?
Starting point is 01:14:27 Nothing. It was an Arab guy. It was an Arab. It was a dead terrorist. He had a beanie on. He had a beanie and he was like an online kid named Earl. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:37 U-R-L. Yeah, I spelled that clever. That is good spelling. Yeah, Frank went to four Devils games last week. And he had new food to review. Like, how is there so much food in that stadium? He's going to Seton Hall tomorrow night. He just lives at the Prudentials.
Starting point is 01:14:49 Is he going to the Knicks tonight? Yeah. Yeah, that's sass. That is sass. That looks exactly like him. The big head. Oh, boy. All right, go back to the gambling game.
Starting point is 01:15:01 Wait a minute. Go back to that? That could just be son of a boy dad promo. Yeah. The hat on that guy. He's got ear pods in. Oh, that's hilarious. That's fucking lampooning.
Starting point is 01:15:17 That's really funny. I bet you that kid doesn't give a fuck about anything. Saz would never wear a Henley, though. He kind of whiffed on that. Yeah, he did. I'm going to hit 11. Can we hear him? Is he doing a cameo, or is he...
Starting point is 01:15:38 No, he's reading. That's why... Glasses on his lip. He's talking through his glasses Does he hear it? He has to He's looking right at our camera He knows
Starting point is 01:15:53 It looks like two eyes Going through a painting Looks like he has a little cat mouth The way it comes down It doesn't move. That looks like James Goldfield. Are they going off? I heard one of them when I left.
Starting point is 01:16:11 They're kind of like behind the cushions. Do 15 laps because that's like right off, right in the kitchen, right behind the whole room. He hasn't even budged. He's on a customer service phone call. He's on a customer service phone call, according to Che. In case anyone didn't hear that. I hope these are all going off right now.
Starting point is 01:16:29 And good snacks by Che. I just turned them all on. Stanko's going to be pissed. We'll see if they're going off, Stephen. I heard them. Okay. Put one right next to his ear. They're behind the counter stations.
Starting point is 01:16:49 Do they all go in sync? Or is it like... I don't know. Let me get a... What? What do you want? I don't worry about it. He wanted the blue Doritos.
Starting point is 01:16:59 That's not how it works. That's not how it works. Nor do I deserve them. Oh, no. I don't want these. I don't either. I did want them. They look like fucking shit.
Starting point is 01:17:13 Cosmic brownies are elite. They're so good. Oh, wait. Oh, oh, oh. Is someone trying to figure it out? Who is that? Aria? Jay.
Starting point is 01:17:20 Her name is Aria. Frank hasn't been affected whatsoever. He doesn't give a fuck. No, he does not care. Is Aria? Frank hasn't been affected whatsoever. He doesn't give a fuck. No, he does not care. Is Aria looking for him? So Stanko was over there, but he said he just sat down. I said I was looking for my laptop. They're all peppered behind the back cushions of the couch,
Starting point is 01:17:34 and then one is like right next to Frank. I feel like they're not going off. Otherwise... Frank is just a beast. They're definitely going off, and Frank's just not paying attention. Want me to check? I'll go check No I heard it going off as I was leaving
Starting point is 01:17:51 Should I put some more in there? Yeah Frank just had every credit card he's got Pager episode. I'm going to hit him all while Ron is walking. So he just starts peeping. This is fun. This is fun.
Starting point is 01:18:27 I like doing stuff like this. I'm having a good time. What else should we yak about? We have the dozen at three. Oh, man. We've been on the schedule a lot. Who's the match against? Who is it?
Starting point is 01:18:41 Lux? Look at Frank going through his credit cards. Zoom in on the number. Going to the doctor's tomorrow morning to figure out why I'm so cold. Very exciting. I think they'll be like, let me check underneath your pants. Oh, yep, you're a woman. There's a vagina here.
Starting point is 01:19:00 It's probably that simple. Probably is. I'm so cold, it's really messing with me, folks. Really? I'm having trouble typing. My hands are so cold. My lips are always blue. Really?
Starting point is 01:19:11 I'm having trouble functioning at work. I'm so cold. Do you have a circulation problem? I have on right now. I've been wearing the waffle tops underneath. Another shirt, a sweater. I've been wearing the robe, and I'm still, my hands are like ice right now. That's crazy. I'm so cold.
Starting point is 01:19:24 Oh. Rowan. Oh, Rowan just put ice right now. That's crazy. I'm so cold. Oh. Rowan. Oh, Rowan just put one right by his ear. All right. I don't know if he's going to get up and leave. No. All right, I'm going to start hitting these. Is he out?
Starting point is 01:19:42 Is Rowan out? What's the one bot? Do you know the numbers of them? No. Oh, that one. Stop. Now stop them all. Then when he puts it back down, make him go off.
Starting point is 01:20:19 I was 16. That went to his right to go off. I can hear him. Oh. Oh. I can hear him from here. Keep it going. Stop all when he... I just started the one that's in his hand. I can hear him. Oh. Oh. I can hear him from here. Oh. Keep it going. Stop all when he.
Starting point is 01:20:29 I just started the one that's in his hand. He's like, Jesus, what the fuck? It's going off in his hand. I keep hitting it. He keeps turning it off. No, Aria! He's kind of enjoying it. He's really hoping he was just going to close his eyes and just go to bed. Aria just took care of that for him.
Starting point is 01:21:08 They're all over the office still, and people are pissed. Are they really? Oh, shit. Really? That's awesome. There's one on the rundown set that's going crazy. Everybody's like, they were looking at me like I'm an asshole. I just texted Aria to just put them behind Frank again,
Starting point is 01:21:22 but I think he already walked away. Yeah, that is annoying as fuck. It's very annoying. There's one button on the side of it you can turn it off. Yeah, but I keep turning them back on. Oh, fuck. Yeah. How much was that?
Starting point is 01:21:36 Like 200 bucks. Get another. I might have. Let's just fill this entire office with these. Frank's going to the Knicks game tonight with Jenks. Yeah. Oh, shit. People are going to stare daggers at us.
Starting point is 01:21:55 I'm going to put more in Frank's single file line out of the act. I'm just going to go right home. Yeah. I'm going to put more behind Frank. You could literally just go in there and tuck them in his chair. Be like, hey, big cat. Spring training and shit. That cosmic brownie was so good.
Starting point is 01:22:15 How do they keep it so moist? I don't know. It's got to be some kind of crazy chemicals. It's got to be something from space. Yeah. Moon rocks. Is that not cosmic enough? No, that's cosmic enough.
Starting point is 01:22:31 What are your thoughts on brownies, Brandon? Delicious. More of a Boy Scout guy? Oh, he knows. Oh oh he fucking knows get out of there get out of there run run run run run
Starting point is 01:22:58 it's hilarious because there's like no prank to it except for an annoying noise just happens by yeah watch six adults team up on Frank Fleming.
Starting point is 01:23:07 Yeah. It's nonplussed. What's the matter? Too much sound for you? What are you going to do? His alarm in the morning stands no chance against him if he's just fucking weathering this storm. Not even getting up. Eyes dead forward.
Starting point is 01:23:32 Got the feedback on that one. Robbie's running. Where the hell's Robbie going? The hell? The hell's going on? They're onto us. Robbie just threw a bunch into the studio. What studio?
Starting point is 01:23:49 Into... In there. Oh. Oh, yeah. It's annoying as fuck. Yo, turn that off. It's pissing me off. Seriously.
Starting point is 01:23:59 Turn that shit off. Yeah, come on. I got one behind him when he leaned forward. There are also, by the way, the other ones are just going off in there. They're just behind the cushions going off. He won't do anything. He's just in his phone. I think I can get him.
Starting point is 01:24:17 There's one, but he leaned forward, and I put one, like, behind him. So let's see. Hold on. Go back to it. I think it's five. You're only in three. like behind him. So let's see. Hold on. Go back to it. I think it's five. Oh, yeah. That's the one. That's the one.
Starting point is 01:24:33 He just checked the top of his head. No, it's behind him. It's underneath his body. Oh, no. Oh, I think he got it. Shit. Fuck. Because Meek Phil is helping him.
Starting point is 01:24:45 That's an unlikely duo that I love. Good one. Yeah, great duo. It's just beeping so loud out in the office right now. Can we add Tank to the Le Bernardin wheel? Oh, I don't know about that. You can take my spot. I don't like French.
Starting point is 01:25:11 Frank, lunch would be a good idea. There's so many behind these cushions. What number is that? Can you zoom in? Shit. Oh, there it is. Oh, we're in a game of chicken. Look, I'm turning on. He's turning it off. All right, let it is. Oh, we're in a game of chicken. Look, I'm turning it on, he's turning it off. All right, let it go for a second.
Starting point is 01:25:29 And I think Arya is sneakily putting more back in there. For a guy that gets frustrated at the most benign things, he's so locked in. What angle is he at right now? He's sitting sideways. Oh, I think I got another one underneath him. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:25:55 Oh, shit. He's got two. This is going to be the worst podcast episode ever. Until probably tomorrow. Yeah. Seems like his face has turned, though. Could be a little anger now.
Starting point is 01:26:13 Yeah, we're in a standoff. I keep turning it on and he keeps turning it off. Oh, he's getting annoyed. Look at the little click. You could easily throw him out of the room or put him somewhere else, though. Oh, it's Pisces. Look at him. It's just a broken man he'd be a great dad you know
Starting point is 01:26:52 just patient you think what he's complaining about is completely different than what's going on right now yeah pitch count turning it up Frank is beating me yeah he's won
Starting point is 01:27:17 fuck he could just withstand he really can he's just a rock in the ocean He's gonna love these things Fuck Alright This is a waste of money
Starting point is 01:27:30 No it wasn't It has already paid back In the amount of subscribers We've undoubtedly got If you're watching the show And you're not subscribed After that shit Just subscribe now
Starting point is 01:27:39 Buy some merch I can be fully transparent When I know that I've wasted Time and money And I've wasted time and money, and I've done both today. I don't think you have, brother. I think this has been fulfilling. Until the roller skates get here.
Starting point is 01:27:52 The roller skates, you're going to bust your ass. I'll be awesome to watch. Do you hear him going off, Sass? What's your favorite TV catchphrase, Brandon? Oh, right. I don't know. Oh, what you talking about, Willis? That's a good one.
Starting point is 01:28:10 That's an original one. What did Urkel say? What's wrong with that one? Did I do that? Jesus Christ. Did I do that? And did somebody say cheese? That's another one he had?
Starting point is 01:28:20 Yep. He would pop in the room anytime someone said cheese. I like when they would tell him to go home. I don't have to take this. I'm going home. That was how he sounds. Stefan Urkel. Yeah. That one he was cool. Great show. I remember the episode where he
Starting point is 01:28:35 kisses Laura and she gets pregnant. And for a long time I thought What is he doing now? Not doing that. Stefan, he's like a hot guy now. He turned out very hot. Muscular. He's kind of buff.
Starting point is 01:28:49 Whatever happened to Laura? She disappeared. Kelly Shania Williams? A lot of people from big sitcoms don't get anything after that. Original Val Johnson's back in commercials. So you're wrong. I don't know where Marie Joe Payton France is That's a lot of names
Starting point is 01:29:09 Works work though If you have such a famous character It's hard to ever drop that character Who knows where Thelma Hopkins is Nobody really knows Bryson McClure? Don't know John Krasinski has to direct And he plays fucking Jack Ryan
Starting point is 01:29:24 It's like come on man What is Jim doing? Daniel Radcliffe just has to direct. Yeah. And he plays fucking Jack Ryan. It's like, come on, man. What is Jim doing? God damn it, Wolf. Daniel Radcliffe just has to show his cock on stage. Is Eddie Darius something? Fucking Rainn Wilson. He's not in anything. He's like full-blown wacko, right?
Starting point is 01:29:37 What? Yeah, he's a little bit of a wackadoo. Did he change his name to protest climate change? Or did he change his name to Rainn Climate Change or something? That was a joke. Was it? Well, still wackadoodle. Fucking wacko.
Starting point is 01:29:49 That was a joke? I should have known that. He jokes a lot. Darius something was Eddie's name. It's shocking we haven't added like name change to the wheel. It'll name change. Waldo, Waldo, Waldo was. Well, Carter Huffman.
Starting point is 01:30:04 Sean something. Trevor Maldonado. to the wheel. Waldo was Carter Huffman. Trevor Maldonado. I need to change my name. I still have. I got divorced like seven years ago. What the fuck is your last name? It's not what you all think it is. Wait, what? What the fuck?
Starting point is 01:30:23 Why are you getting so embarrassed? I don't know. But my email name, that's not my last name. That I know your last name. Why are you getting so embarrassed? I don't know. But my email name, all that, that's not my last name. That's not your last name? No. So your driver's license is just not your last name? Correct. Seven years?
Starting point is 01:30:35 I know. You don't know your name. No. I thought your last name was Barstool. It is. Yeah. That would be better than what I have. That's crazy.
Starting point is 01:30:43 Yeah. It's gotten in the way. Time just really got away from me. Seven years. Seven years. Most people, when they get divorced, are like, all right, I want to full clean from this. Yeah, I did. I thought you could just kind of double down.
Starting point is 01:30:53 Just like, while I'm here with the attorney, I'm going to change my name. No, it's not that simple. I don't want you to die, but it would be funny if you did, and that was the name. Everyone would be like, where's Kate been? It's like, no, that's not her. I know. Well, then, when I got pregnant, I was like, I better do it now. But then I was like, I'll give him Pat's last name.
Starting point is 01:31:10 Oh, so your, so Ash's birth certificate has your name wrong. No, oh my God, yes. It has your old name, yeah. Oh, is my name on there? Yeah. Yes. And is it your legal name? Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:31:22 No, it's the other, it's my old name. Oh, no. Oh, no. No, it's the other. It's my old name. Oh, no. Oh, I didn't think about that. So I got to put that on the wheel because I got to do it anyway. Wow. I keep meaning to every year. I'm like, this is the year I figure it out. I'm not putting things on the wheel.
Starting point is 01:31:38 Just do it. For seven years? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want there to be a chance that I do it instead of you. You got to be the one that does it. I got divorced in like 2016. Oh, my God. 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 27.
Starting point is 01:31:50 Seven years. You've just been like, all right, guys. He would probably, if he knew that, he'd probably be like, what the fuck? Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to piss. We don't know your name. Yes.
Starting point is 01:31:58 You've got to send him the birth certificate. It's yours. Yeah. Surprise. I've got to go. I like the eyes of the law. Does he yours. Yeah. Surprise. I got to go. I like the eyes of the law. Does he have another son? No.
Starting point is 01:32:09 I don't know. Yeah, no, I don't think so. I don't think that's how that works. It's one of those things that seems to be. He's in no way a pet parent. Yeah, he has more right to your son than you. I find out the hard way. I'm here for what's mine.
Starting point is 01:32:25 A boy. I don't want you to change it. I think that's funny. Well, so then, when I started working at Barstool, I feel like it made it a little more difficult to find me, find me,
Starting point is 01:32:33 if anybody was really looking for me because nobody really knows what my real last name is. Is it cool? Kind of, yeah. I think so. You guys will never know. Is it ethnic?
Starting point is 01:32:42 A little bit. What? Wait, wait. Are you saying that the one with the M. Yeah. That is your ex-husband's last name? No, no. That's the family name.
Starting point is 01:32:52 That's the family name. Okay. We all know that. No, I don't. Kate, I don't know the other one. We don't know the other one. That's not my legal name. The one that you know is my legal name.
Starting point is 01:33:00 We don't know your legal name. Right. We know your birth name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that one's also ethnic. They're both pretty similar. I got to get around to it. How funny would it be if it was like Goldberg?
Starting point is 01:33:15 Or... Alaska. Yeah. Nice little... I got to get around to it. Time for it. Donnie has no business with his last name. What if it was Upton?
Starting point is 01:33:24 Oh, my God. Might be. And that's why you haven't changed it. Time really. What if it was Upton? Donnie has no business with his last name. What if it was Upton? Oh, my God. Might be. And that's why you haven't changed it. Might be. Can you tell us off air? Yeah. Oh, it's nothing crazy. Can you pass around your card right now?
Starting point is 01:33:33 I will say it's embarrassing when I'm with Pat and I go to check into a hotel and they're like, last name. And I always look at him like, sorry, I gave him my ex's name. Yeah, that would kind of. Yeah. That's so funny. I know. It's fucked up.
Starting point is 01:33:42 That's how like, I hate doing technical, like car stuff, like updating paperwork, anything with paperwork. I agree with you there. Sign up today. I know. I know. Do it today. I got to do it.
Starting point is 01:33:54 It's like the refunds. If you need to fill out two different documents for a refund, I'm out. I'm out. It'll be a lot of money. Going to the post office is too much for me. I'm not going to. My social security card, all that shit, come on. Oh, it's the worst.
Starting point is 01:34:07 My passport, then, everything. Every time I think about it, I'm like, what does it matter? It doesn't matter. Don't football players get their names changed recreationally? Yeah. Chad Otocinco just did it on a whim. No, he legally changed his name. Right, but he went through the whole process of a goof name.
Starting point is 01:34:23 Yeah. Name change in New York City is $63. Is it? I believe so. Around $63. We all change our names? I'd change mine. My dad would be so mad. We have the same middle name. I'll change it. Derulo. Chosen Anderson?
Starting point is 01:34:38 What? Yuck. You have to be a lot better than Robbie. Why did he change it from Robbie to Robbie? He's probably referencing the Frozen Chosen, the Korean War battle. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. A nod to America. You know, you're not good enough to be chosen.
Starting point is 01:34:55 Was he the one that was fucking in the parking lot? What was his draft pick? Yeah. Yeah, he was. What was his draft pick? Oh, I think it just sounded like an apartment. Robbie Anderson, what was he drafted? I thought like six round or sounded like an apartment I'll be interested, what was he drafted? I thought like six round or something
Starting point is 01:35:07 Like name? No, yeah He was a later, I feel like fourth That's You were picked Short for a sketch A lot of people were chosen before you Undrafted
Starting point is 01:35:18 Undrafted? He wasn't even chosen He wasn't chosen He can't be chosen What the fuck? He literally was not chosen. He wasn't chosen. He can't be chosen. What the fuck? He literally was not chosen. Lying bastard. His name on Instagram, I think, is like chosen1RA.
Starting point is 01:35:33 RA? For Robbie Anderson. Rear Admiral. That was the best one. He changed it. Rear Admiral. Like, went to a real press conference. Like, Rear Admiral Barstool Sports.
Starting point is 01:35:45 All right, I got to go do the rundown. All right, good show. All right. How many of these? I'm actually, I'm out on these. What? Someone else take them. I'm going to have to go collect them all.
Starting point is 01:35:57 You're not using them for the right reason. No, you take them, Brandon. You take them. You take this. I don't want them. See? It's a burden. Where are they all? I don't know them. See? It's a burden. Where are they all?
Starting point is 01:36:06 I don't know. We'll have to go find them. I think a bunch of people took them. I just hit Frank's again. Hit them all. Go back to Frank real quick. Last thing. Oh, he's still going.
Starting point is 01:36:18 Look, he's got it in his hand. He did not give up. He didn't even flinch. Oh, yeah. He's got some on the trigger. Never seen Frank get less mad about something. Look at him. I'm hitting it.
Starting point is 01:36:29 It's bizarre. And then he hits it. And then he hits it. He's so calm. He might like it. Yeah, it feels like a... Comfort? Interesting.
Starting point is 01:36:43 I'm surprised he didn't just fold it in his hand like origami. Do you think he even knows that you're controlling it? Do you think he's just like, this thing just keeps going on? He's got to know now. Oh, no, I was getting mad? Okay. Okay. Water to drink, bottle to eat Alright
Starting point is 01:37:12 I'm gonna go find all these Alright, good show It's the act It's the act It's your straws, yeah Starless day For a while It's the act. It's the act. It's your straws, yeah, style, it's game for a while. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act.
Starting point is 01:37:41 Yeah, it's time to talk, shop, or do a Yankee pop. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act.

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