The Yak - We Pranked the Entire Office with Hidden Pagers | The Yak 2-27-23
Episode Date: February 27, 2023RIP Father JoeYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up.
Hello.
Everyone's here.
Why did you put up your finger?
I don't know.
I just put up my finger.
What's up, everybody?
What's up, Brandon?
Welcome to the Yak.
Here we go, Brandon.
Hey, Brandon.
All squads here.
This might be a Yakagami. Yeah. We've never all been together. Hey, Brandon. All squads here. This might be a yakagami.
Yeah.
We've never all been together.
Everyone's back.
Roan, how was Canada?
You won?
It was unjudged, but it was good.
Oh, you won.
I judged.
I judged and you won.
Thank you, brothers.
Very nice of you.
That would have been fucked up if you had been like, yeah, the other dude won.
Sixth best.
That would have been.
Yeah, you were in the mix. I went in completely unbiased.
You got bodied.
Fuck you, dude.
I watched the whole thing, and it was really entertaining.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
The other dude was really good.
Dumbfounded.
Oh, shit.
Oh, I'm just saying.
Like, usually when you, like all the battles that I've watched from you, usually you destroy them.
That dude held his own.
He did well.
I think he did well, too. 50-50. You did amazing. Split decision. He usually, like, you destroy them. That dude held his own. He did well. I think he did well, too.
50-50.
You did amazing.
Split decision.
He didn't win.
It was like, no, both sides of it were, like, very fun to watch.
He's both sides in it right now.
If you had to pick which side.
No way.
Roan definitely won.
Thanks, bro.
No, I think.
The other guy was pretty good.
He was.
He was great.
He was hilarious.
It was, he's one of the funniest dudes.
He's a stand-up comic.
He's, like, on, he, like, tours with Theo Vaughn and shit like that.
He's a very famous, well-renowned...
Did you talk to him beforehand?
Coordinate anything?
I mean, we talked.
We didn't coordinate anything.
That's what I would do.
I'd give the fans the best show.
Plan it out?
Yeah, script it all.
Is that what you're talking about?
Wrestling?
Kind of. You's real, bro.
You want to be a battle rapper.
I'm a DJ now. Oh, you're a DJ.
I was in the lab all weekend.
You were? Do you have the whole machine
and everything? No, I have to use a video
editing app, so the only thing I can do
is just put music
side by side. You have some real hard
shots. Yeah, but I'm getting better at it.
I figured out some different techniques.
I have a remix that I'm excited to release this week.
When are you putting it out?
Maybe Wednesday, maybe Thursday.
Damn.
I've had some good ones.
You haven't seen good ones.
Your Skrillex one was pretty good.
It was all right.
It was just a Skrillex song.
Yeah.
So that sounds pretty good. So what was bad about it? just a Skrillex song. Yeah. So that's pretty good.
So what was bad about it?
That's what DJs are doing.
They just transition different songs.
Yeah, you're damn good at it.
Such an easy job.
Like aux cord DJs.
It seems like it, yeah.
But being able to-
You still got to play the right songs.
Yeah.
You got to work the crowd.
Yeah, that is true.
Get the BPMs right.
You got to get the BPMs right.
AB would be able to do that easily, though.
Easily.
Work the crowd.
Slow.
Then bring it down. Then get it back up. KB, though. Easily. Yeah. Work the crowd. Slow. You got to bring it down.
Then get it back up.
KB again.
It was genuine.
It's called banger after banger.
The battle was genuinely like, it was so fun to watch.
I was having a blast.
Did it raise a lot of money?
Raised a ton of money.
Awesome.
I had to buy it twice, actually.
Okay.
Yeah.
Sass asked for a refund from charity.
No, I couldn't figure out how to get the link to work on the first time I bought it,
so I just went through the whole process again.
He wanted to support the other guy that you were battling.
Oh, no, no.
I was just saying, the whole thing, I watched a lot of the battles.
I watched most of them, and they were all like, it was really fun.
Yeah.
I was laughing my ass off watching it.
It was an all-time good vibes event, and it was a massive, great crowd.
Like a thousand people that were just so happy to be there.
I'm sure you know in stand-up when a crowd is just giving you something for everything that you want them to give you something.
That's what it felt like.
It was really entertaining.
That's sick.
Hell yes, it was a blast.
National Pokemon Day.
Oh, today?
So if everybody could go around and say their favorite.
Big Cat. Squirt blast. National Pokemon Day. Oh, today? So if everybody could go around and say their favorite. Big Cat.
Squirtle.
Yeah.
Pikachu.
Actually, no, mine would be...
Actually, I don't even know if that's a Pokemon.
Pikachu, bro.
Is Jigglypuff a Pokemon?
My favorite.
Yeah, Jigglypuff.
I use him in Super Smash.
Norlax.
Norlax, yeah.
Brandon?
It repeats.
Squirtle.
No.
It repeats.
He just said what he was going to do.
Charizard. Charizard. No. It repeats. You just hear me? Charizard.
Charizard's cool.
Onix.
Nice.
Like a battle rapper.
Japanese blast toys.
Nelly was slamming.
I always thought Nelly was slamming his peers like the Onix Pokemon.
That was the most slam.
DJ?
Ganglar.
Jay?
Ash.
Ash Ketchum?
He's a fucking kid.
He's in the show.
That's a kid, though.
You just think if he's in the show, he's a Pokemon?
Yeah.
Black shoes. You don't know Pokemon.
Black shoes, Jay.
I don't want to go.
You got black shoes? He's the only one in the chat that got black. Why don't you choose. Black shoes, Chad. You got black shoes?
He's the only one in the chat that got black.
Why don't you choose black?
Do you want to be a waiter?
Trying to be a bus boy.
Yeah, act your wage, Busy B.
Black shoes are impossible.
They actually did look, I thought they looked a little bit cleaner.
They do look hard to wear.
Very hard to wear.
You need to wear it with the right everything else.
Everything else.
I mean, what's the best fit to wear black shoes with?
I think all black.
All black, maybe like joggers.
Then you do look like a busboy.
Yeah.
You look like a millionaire is what you look like.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Yeah, it's actually the farthest gap.
Yeah.
Between, didn't...
That's why Jay got him,
because he's going to apply to fucking labor Didn't
Adam Crowell used to have that
Bit that he used to do on his podcast
Like
Billionaire or white trash
Because there's a lot of shit
That you could pick
That applies to both
I've seen that
I've seen the chart and pictures
Like getting driven around.
Like you could be a white trash guy who has so many DUIs he doesn't have his license.
Yeah.
Or you could be Jeff Bezos.
Or both.
Or just carpooling with your friends.
Yeah.
There's kind of.
I love that about when the Chicago guys have their arguments about carpooling in Dave's car.
Oh, White Sox Dave, that was an all-time move.
That was a couple weeks ago, but
they went to a movie together, and then when they
got out of the movie, White Sox Dave drove
and was like, oh yeah, I can't give
any of you guys a ride back.
I have something I have to do.
They said they have food on the stove.
They all drove together.
And it was like crock pot.
Yeah, you can't do that.
You can't do that.
That's an all-time dick move.
You can't do that. He didn't do that. That's an all-time dick move. You can't do that.
He didn't tell them until they were walking to the bus.
Yeah, he's like, yeah, no, I'm not going back to the office.
It's awesome that they drove together, though.
I just think, like, just carpooling with your bros is something I haven't done in a long time.
I miss it.
I miss it a lot.
Me and KB carpool, like, every day.
On the subway.
Sometimes, yeah.
We plan it out.
No, we just see each other, and then we don't make eye contact.
The person who got dragged the hardest this week on Twitter was someone who said her and her friends have an agreement where they would never possibly ever pick up one another from the airport.
Oh, I saw that.
Wait.
That's just normal, though.
Right?
I guess you don't have to have an agreement for it
Yeah, people are calling her a despicable beast
Because that's like a friend move
This is
Like you don't
Are you squeezing out a fart?
Farting
Yeah, that was apparent
Are you pointing it at me?
So hard
Did you notice I was tilting to the left a little bit too
Trying to work it out
Picking someone up from the airport is the ultimate, like that's basically only family
and I don't even know.
Family or somebody you don't see, like if you're excited to see the person.
If you're bringing a friend somewhere, like if you moved away and your friend's coming
to see you, you can go get them at the airport.
You better go get them.
My buddy, when I go.
I don't think so.
If the person just happens to be going to Boston, you live in Boston, sure, don't pick
them up.
If they're coming to Boston to see you, pick them up.
It's like easier in New York just to get an Uber.
Right.
Right.
New York is different.
New York's an outlier.
If I lived in like Kentucky and someone came to see me.
Okay, yeah.
You better go pick them up.
New York, LA, Chicago.
I think those are outliers.
Yes, yes.
Atlanta.
Like any big city airport, get in a fucking Uber.
Yeah.
Six or seven airports that you shouldn't go to
in this country
to pick somebody up,
but every other airport
you should.
Where was this chick?
What I'm saying is
I think it's...
I wouldn't care.
She's getting unanimously destroyed.
I don't know,
but I think it's fine.
We destroy people over nothing.
I think it's fine
if you guys don't want
to pick each other up
from the airport.
I wouldn't ask.
I don't want to inconvenience you.
Don't ask your friend.
I'm on her side.
I agree.
It's like asking someone to help move.
Yeah, like I would be fine if someone, if a friend offered,
I'd be like, yeah, okay, come pick me up.
But I would never be like, hey, I land at like 6, so see you at 615.
Well, the distance matters too.
Like if you live very far away, it's shitty to make them take you.
If you lived in Louisville and I was coming to visit you in Louisville,
you would probably pick me up at the airport.
Not you.
Well, this girl and her friends have a mutual agreement.
It'd be one thing if her friend asked her to,
and she said, no, I would never do that.
But they both are on the same side, and I think it's fine.
I think the weird part is that's an implication
that doesn't even need to be spoken out loud.
You're not really good friends with the person if you have to actually make an agreement.
Now 100,000 people are calling her a heathen.
Yeah, that's crazy.
I'm saying if you have to be like, hey, just so we're on the same page talking it out,
I think true friendship is being like, there's no fucking chance this person will pick me up from the airport.
Ron, if you live in Louisville.
Because he's my friend.
Someone pulled an awesome move on me one time.
They picked me up in Charleston, and they had a cooler of booze already.
And they're like, let's get this weekend started.
So it's like, if you're going to do it, make a meal of it.
Maybe be very nice about it.
Have some local treats.
Stinky Tony picked me up music blaring songs I like.
Natty Light, he was drinking it.
He's a lawyer, though.
Yeah, he can get out of it.
Speaking of which.
I would be more likely to drop someone off at the airport than pick them up
because that's actually a weird thrill.
Yes.
Like after a long weekend, be like, you have to get on a plane.
I get to go home and go to sleep.
Yeah, that is huge.
It's very nice, too.
I will say it is.
I agree with you.
It is awesome getting picked up by your boys.
Right.
Mike always does that.
I never expected it.
And it's always fun seeing him at the airport.
He pulls up in a cowboy hat.
I would pick up all of my friends at the airport.
I would pick up.
New York, I think, is an exception.
No, but again, I would never turn down someone asking to pick me up,
but I would never ask someone to pick me up.
I agree.
I've Ubered to the airport in New York
to go back with friends that just landed.
That's crazy.
You're too nice.
That's a good friend.
That's so nice of you.
I was excited to see him.
So you Ubered to the airport?
Yeah.
And where did you wait?
I always wanted to be somebody waiting at the airport.
Oh, that's different.
I agree with that.
Stinky Tony again.
Always is.
Some flowers.
Did you have a sign that said stink?
Uncle Stank, yeah.
Nick, how was stand-up this weekend?
I think everybody wants to hear.
Yeah.
It was really good.
It was fun.
It was like an adrenaline rush.
I don't think it's going to be a regular thing for me,
but it felt good to kind of just see if I could do it.
I wish I have nothing to base a critique off of
because I just blacked out when I got on stage.
How long was it?
I felt like I talked too fast.
I felt like I trembled.
No, it went very smoothly.
It was like seven and a half minutes.
It went fast.
Yeah. It was a blast of a half minutes. It went fast. Yeah.
It was a blast of a night.
It was really fun.
The bit that he did at the end, which was probably like two minutes long,
I think that would have played in front of any crowd in any stand-up club.
What was it about?
It was about a tragedy that happened in New York City in the early 2000s.
It was like a very unique take on it. It was like, it wasn't like a, it wasn't like a, like, it was like a very, like, unique.
Take on it?
Take on it.
It was very, very funny.
Like, everyone was laughing.
It was hilarious.
Thanks, man.
Sick.
It's awesome.
We had boys from Ireland, boys from Montreal.
North Carolina.
Shout out to them.
People were like, it's only like a 50-person room.
People flew in for it?
Yeah.
People flew in for it.
Dude there brought me eight knives.
What?
Oh, he did?
Yeah, security was lax.
And how many do you have of those eight?
I gave them all away.
See what I mean?
You will never get to 200.
Look at my desk.
I know how it is now.
Those are kitchen knives.
Somebody sent me kitchen knives.
Yak fan.
Knives to knife.
Like a block?
No block, but just the knives.
The Amazon Basics color pack.
Nice.
It was a solid weekend for the squad.
Yeah, all around.
Sass is supportive as hell, bro.
Yeah, he has been.
It was nice seeing my boys just killing.
Sass, you're so damn supportive.
Did you guys have a good weekend?
I had a terrible weekend.
No.
Yeah, you had a bad one.
Squad.
What happened to you?
I want some good bets.
You also made millions of dollars on what?
That was last day.
Yeah, it's a new week.
That should carry over into the weekend.
I'm already trying to make my bets.
That should carry over.
How depressing is life if I can't even enjoy that if that ever happens?
That has to carry over.
Dude, what the fuck am I doing?
More money, more problems, bro.
I had a fine weekend.
I think the fight was all right.
It wasn't as bad as people seem to think it was.
Yeah.
I went to the mall again on Sunday.
Which one?
You okay?
No.
American Dream.
What was it?
It was good.
I went to, there's a mirror maze.
Yeah, I did that with Jeff D. Lowe.
Yep.
Huge mistake taking a three and a half year old and a one and a half year old in there.
Oh, God.
My daughter like almost concussed herself.
Yeah.
Then my son was just like, we got to get out of here.
And I was like, I don't fucking know how to get out of here.
Yeah.
That's the first time he's ever seen his dad vulnerable.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
No, corn maze.
Oh, you got lost in that.
At least a corn maze you can break through the walls.
Yeah, this is just like, we might have to be in here for a while.
He definitely thinks I'm a huge pussy because he was just like, I want to get out.
I was like, dude, I do too.
We're trying.
Did you just wake up on Saturday and decide to take him to a college basketball game?
Yeah, I've been playing that because the LIU, Long Island University, plays like two minutes from my house.
Do you know what they like?
The worst team.
He wins.
So bad.
Got to start there, though.
Rod Strickland is the coach.
What?
Yeah, I didn't know that.
Huh.
Yeah.
I didn't know that either.
You know, after the game, like the entire Merrimack team, like the coaching staff was like, what the fuck are you doing?
I was like, yeah, I thought it would be fun.
It was...
Yeah.
They were playing basketball.
They were playing. It was fun.
That was the most high school looking gym I've ever seen.
It's the best though.
I like watching basketball in tiny shitty gyms.
Yeah, it is. It's fun.
You guys see that XFL field that they were playing on?
It looked like a high school field that XFL was playing on.
No.
What team?
I don't even know.
It was like an open end zone.
It was just like the street behind them.
I like that.
I like going to different gyms because then when you see highlights on ESPN,
you're like, oh, I've been there.
I know what that looks like.
I saw the XFL video of the coach.
He's like mid-game interviewing.
He's like, we just got to start.
He's like, our team sucks.
You guys see that video?
No.
He's like, they just got to start playing better's like, our team sucks. You guys see that video? No. He's like, they just got to start playing
better. Entirely
blaming the team. It was hilarious.
That is facts. Did you watch the
Sixers game, Roan, while you were...
I didn't. Did something happen?
Dude, I watched the Sixers game and
I watched your rap battle at the same time. You watched a lot of stuff
this weekend. That's a lot of Roan support.
Thank you, bro. Sixers wound up
winning or... I don't know. I didn't pay attention. Me neither, bro. So that's cool. I guess support. I know. Thank you, bro. Sixers wound up winning or? I don't know.
I didn't pay attention. Me neither, bro.
So that's cool.
I guess we'll never know.
They lost by three.
Did they?
All I saw was Embiid hitting a shot at the end of the game.
That shit should have counted.
I think if you hit a 75-footer, you should get like 0.5 seconds grace period.
Yeah.
Especially as a 7-footer.
Yeah.
I think so, too.
That's shorter distance for a 7-footer.
Oh, true.
Closer. Yeah. Dang. You, too. That's shorter distance for a 7-footer. Oh, true. Closer.
Yeah.
You guys just can't beat the Celtics.
So, are NBA teams, are they just every year they're playing less and less defense?
Or how are these guys scoring?
I think it's a result of offense has gotten far better than it's evolved.
Yeah, so it's not an evolution.
They don't take those shots, and they take smart shots and move the ball. It's just offense offensive machine. They don't take the shots. They take smart shots and move the ball.
It's just offense has evolved.
But defense has devolved.
They still play hard defense.
If you look at the numbers.
I think it's more of an offensive.
Two people have scored over 70 this year.
Two is two.
Three in the last six years.
There are three active players that played this year that scored 70.
That's my mistake.
That's crazy.
Are you going to apologize?
Do I really need to apologize for that?
You kind of corrected him very...
Incorrectly.
Incorrectly and confidently.
You were like, oh, I meant in the last six years,
which is a scale we use often.
Yeah.
Nick, I apologize.
All due accepted.
I'm a big person.
We just got through that.
Wow. Those are fun shoes, Brandon. Play that clip, TJ.. All due accepted. I'm a big person. We just got through that. Wow.
Those are fun shoes, Brandon.
Play that clip, TJ.
You had it going.
Welcome back to Orlando here with Coach Buckley.
Coach, how do you change this momentum?
We got to get different guys in there.
Obviously, we got to get guys out there.
They're not making plays.
So, we got to get people in there, young men that want to play,
that want to compete and make plays.
I just saw you walk up and down this sideline
and look some guys in their faces.
What did you see out of your team?
I'm seeing guys not performing.
Look at the scoreboard.
They got to perform.
Thank you, Coach.
It's awesome.
That's like what a coach.
It's proud, though.
One of my favorite moves when a college basketball coach
will open up tryouts in the middle of the season.
Like open tryouts.
You need new guys.
You need new guys. We need new guys.
Go to the stands.
They won't end up signing anyone or adding anyone,
but they'll just be like, you know, get the football team down here.
One of the funniest episodes of Always Sunny is when they do the,
they try out for the Eagles.
Oh, yeah.
They open tryout, and it's all just like Philly scumbags.
Yeah, yeah.
So funny.
There was a dude on the Eagles named Vi Sikahema,
and his grandfather was like a prize-fighting champion,
but the way he got his start in boxing was another guy didn't show up to a fight,
and he was just in the audience, and he just took the guy's place.
What a badass.
Just hopped in, beat the guy, and then became sick at boxing.
Vi Sikahema also had a boxing career.
Yeah, maybe.
I don't know if it was him. That was his celebration. I also had a boxing career. Because, or, yeah, maybe, yeah,
I don't know if it was him,
because remember,
that was his celebration.
combo there.
That was his,
he would score,
he scored a touchdown and went to the,
the goal post
and like fucking box it.
That was his celebration.
It was kind of sick.
I don't think I'm confident
enough in anything
where I could be
an emergency backup for.
I know,
I've done it a couple times,
altar serving.
Oh,
I did that.
Altar serving didn't show up.
My mom would say, you better get up there.
And there you go.
Father Joe would come down the aisle, like, clicking his dentures, like, looking.
Call your ass the aisle.
Yeah.
Come right down it.
I used to.
Not Father Joe.
He wasn't like that.
He was a straight shooter, and I will go to bat.
He's dead now.
Don't shit on his name.
Anyone else, maybe, but not him.
There probably is a Father Joe out there that was good.
This one, the one that we had.
He was good.
He was a legit guy.
They have the, in hockey, when they have the random emergency goalie.
Scott Darling.
Yeah.
No, Scott Darling was not.
Isn't it Brendan Jones?
Yeah, Brendan.
Yeah, he's the guy here that was.
Brendan.
This is the dumbest.
Scott Darling was on the team, just so we know. Dumbest question ever. Say there's that was – Brendan. This is the dumbest – My darling was on the team just so we –
Dumbest question ever.
Say there's an MLB game.
This is totally hypothetical, and a player doesn't show up,
and could they bring someone from the stands, like, legally or no?
No.
Almost certainly not.
It has to be on their roster, right?
What if they signed a release?
Like, I don't care if I get hurt.
Like, they have to be –
Or about someone being on the roster because then you could have, like,
a ringer come in and do that on purpose.
You know what I mean?
I think the roster's set in a couple days.
I think the actual players union would have a problem
if they were just signing players.
I think it's just hockey.
Hockey's the only one that has a guy who's just sitting there,
and he's there for the whole rink.
So, like, you could play on either team.
Yeah.
It happens, like, maybe once every couple years.
Three years ago now?
It might have happened this year.
There's an emergency goalie who's on call who's at the rink.
It's fucking awesome.
I've never heard of that.
It's the only sport that can have that.
One of those guys won a couple years ago.
Yes.
Holy shit.
See the goalie goal the other day?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
First time the Bruins ever had one.
Awesome.
At least in six years. What do you guys think about the pitch clock in baseball? Love the other day? Yeah. Oh, yeah. First time the Bruins ever had one. Awesome. At least in six years.
What do you guys think about the pitch clock in baseball?
Love the game.
Love it.
Two and a half hours?
Oh, man.
Oh, did you guys – I thought of you right away, KB.
Did you hear Keith Hernandez?
There's a guy on the Marlins.
His name is Jazz Chisholm.
Yeah.
Swaggy.
Why does that sound familiar?
Well, Keith's a cover athlete for MLB show this year.
Similar to you, but Keith Hernandez accidentally introduced him as Chaz Jism.
Yep.
Isn't that the name of your trainer?
Chaz Gresham.
Chaz Gresham.
He's a real person, yeah.
Yeah.
Anytime I see a Chaz, I think of you in that Uber. Chaz Gresham is a real person. Yeah. Anytime I see a Chaz, I think of you in that Uber.
Chaz Gresham.
I got a influencer.
Want to come by Planet Fitness?
You were all money.
I was a monster.
Just get a pump in, take some pictures.
I went to a Manchester United bar at 9 a.m. yesterday.
What?
Watched the Carabao Cup Finals.
Soccer? Yes. Football? yesterday. What? Watched the Carabao Cup Finals. Are you getting into soccer?
Yes.
Football?
No.
What's your team?
Aston Villa.
Ah.
Damn.
I was there.
Yeah.
What was the vibe, everybody?
I didn't like the guys.
They were like singing the whole time, but they were American, but they were singing
in a British accent.
In the bar?
Dorky.
Yeah. Dorky yeah
dorky i i went to one i tried to get into like hey let's go to a bar at 8 a.m and watch a game
and it was like i got all pumped up drank some beers and it was liverpool everton and it was
a zero zero tie and i was like i'll never do this again so i watched it yeah it was like a two-oh
game one was an own goal and i just had like three three Guinnesses on an empty stomach, so it was just like I signed up for diarrhea by noon.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's tough.
Hangover by one.
Hangover by one.
Yeah.
That's shitty.
And then they only have British food there.
Oh, a lot of beans.
Yeah, I just had peas and bread, yeah.
Old English.
Blood sausage.
Limpy bacon.
There was a dude named Zeb there.
He was cool.
That is sweet.
Yeah.
What did he play, bass?
Yeah. I did he play, bass? Yeah.
I guess he did.
You can tell by the calluses on only four fingers.
That's so sick.
That's a sick hat, too, Big Cat.
Oh, yeah, I found it over there.
Red Beans and Rice Guy.
Shout out.
Shout out, Devin.
I like John.
I like John.
Hold the mayo.
Hold that fucking mayo.
Three names.
That dude has all three names, not the wazoo.
I will say this. He needs fucking mayo. Three names. That dude has all three names. He needs a... He needs a wazoo. I will say this.
He needs a set name.
Ah.
Because I call him mayo when I...
He's a rapper too, bro.
He's a rapper?
Rappers have multiple names.
Like, yeah, I heard he's nice with the freestyles.
Also, his accent is so good.
It's great.
Someone has described it...
Are you helped?
There's maybe a comedian.
Someone described the New Orleans accent that it's basically New Yorkers that are a little slow.
And then when you hear it, you're like, oh, shit, that is.
That's so accurate.
This shit is different.
They have a little bit of that.
It shows the line between special ed and cool as hell.
It's crazy because it works.
I was always the cool kids like in high school, though, towing the line of special ed.
The Sidney Sweeney of accents.
It's a little Jewish, too. that accent is only in new orleans if you get 30 miles out of new orleans
it's not there at all that's cool crazy yeah it's dope ron do you have any akas aka the muffin man
aka crisco aka my grandma's favorite grandson acts my grandma that's old shit. That's old shit, though. That's old shit. Yeah.
Chauncey.
Don't say that.
That's a slur.
Towards white people.
Ron, are you wearing mismatched socks?
I know.
I just noticed it as I was sitting here.
I felt so embarrassed,
and I was hoping no one would call attention to it.
I apologize, but I couldn't.
The stripes really betray me.
It sucks dick.
I look like a goddamned fool.
I keep getting fooled by the sneakers app.
I think it's a rare drop happening.
I enter and I just get it immediately.
I got a pair of sixes on the way.
I'm not going to wear those.
That doesn't fit my silhouette.
Yeah, where you win the sneakers app and you're like, wait, I don't want these. Yeah. I didn't expect to wear those. That doesn't fit my silhouette. Yeah, where you win the sneakers app, and you're like, wait, I don't want these.
Yeah.
I didn't expect to win this. I ended up planning on losing, but that wasn't a hot drop.
I don't know what's hot.
I've returned a win before.
You can do that?
Yeah.
Because I was like, wait, I just signed up for this because I was trying to get a win,
and no one wanted this sneaker, including me.
They're still available in every size.
Yeah, right.
The way that they framed it as, like,
you win because you get to buy this
is, like, genius on their part, to be honest.
Tricks you into wanting...
Yeah.
What is it, just like a bidding type thing?
It's just when they, like, drop,
and I get a notification,
and I enter,
and I just win, I get them immediately.
Yeah, what are sneakerheads doing
are they still
are they still crushing it
because I'll
I don't know
I think that the sneakerhead culture
has kind of waned off
but then I'll see a video
of dudes like
milling about a sneaker convention
being like
are these shits tough
and like
shit I've never seen or heard of
sneakerheads are the least funny guys
yeah
like my algorithm is like
they are but
my algorithm
is like sneakerhead like
guys that own resale shops
doing sketches.
Yeah.
Horrible.
We got to do a contest to
find the funniest sneaker
head.
Oh.
And we did get Travis
Maldonado I'm sure you saw
world America's funniest
Travis.
I think Brandon Walker's
the funniest sneaker head.
I'm not saying what are
you wearing today.
There are people you
kind of are.
So the Zoom Flight 95s
You kind of are a sneakerhead
If you wear different shoes every day
Yeah
Well I just, I tried
I dabbled with being a sneakerhead
And I was like this is
If you don't have outdoor shoes
I was bored
Who's the flyest comedian?
Probably like Andrew Schultz
Does he have steez?
Oh yeah he's steez? Oh, yeah.
He's steezed up.
A bunch of them just did a fashion show for Paris Fashion Week.
It was like Jeff Ross.
Comedians go out of their way to get frumpy, though, for the stage.
I wore a solid gray hoodie that makes me look pretty fat, and I crumpled it up before I went out there.
Maybe I'm just modeling myself after you.
There are some cool-ass comedians.
Like, cool dudes.
But then you don't want to laugh at those guys.
They can't have it all.
They have to be really funny.
Jeff Ross hangs out with models
and is a Hollywood no-boo guy now.
I don't think I would ever think of Jeff Ross
as a cool comedian.
Oh, he's so cool.
But I think the way that he presents himself now, I think he's a cool guy comedian. No, there's no way. Bro. Jeff Ross is a cool comedian. Oh, he's so cool. But I think the way that he presents himself now,
I think he's like a cool guy comedian.
No, there's no way.
Bro.
Jeff Ross?
He does fashion shows.
I saw he literally went to the roast battle that I was at with like a bunch.
He needed to like clear room for like the four models that he was with.
Is he okay?
He looks different.
I know because he's a cool guy now.
Mustache now.
He has a mustache.
He wears leather jackets and
wide-brimmed hats. What do you
think about everybody getting a chance
to go to Le Bernardin?
What do you mean? I'm for it.
I already put it on. You did?
So I put it back on the wheel.
The whole wheel? Whole wheel.
That's awesome. And the rule is
when it lands on it,
we're going to wheel for three new people. That's awesome. And the rule is, when it lands on it, we're going to wheel for three new people.
That's awesome.
So everyone has a chance to get back.
So it actually will be like two people who won't get it, ever.
Should it be two of us and one outsider?
No, no, no.
Three in this room slash...
Two people are just going to be hard fucked.
Yeah, so it's you, three, five.
Yeah, there's seven people.
So four people.
What was your thinking behind putting it back on?
I had so much fun.
I literally wanted to go for lunch again.
It was just fun.
It's like a cool way to do lunch.
It's of a bygone era.
I don't think I would like dinner.
Of course not.
I liked lunch.
I had a little buzz.
You guys came back a little drunk.
Some of us more. Who was? The dog? The dog might have a little buzz. You guys came back a little drunk. Some of us more.
Who was? The dog?
The dog went ahead a little. What was he saying?
He was still
in his Leigh Barden mode, so he was
laughing at people who were asking
how many stars it was.
He poor shamed me.
Oh, you've never been? Which is so funny because
I paid.
Yeah, but even getting the invite to
one of those you're rich yeah i want to go back gotta go back gotta go back spin it yeah why don't
we will just maybe wait if we just went instead of relying on the wheel why don't we so there's
seven people i think maybe we do i'll take six and six. And one person can never go. Yeah, one person can never go.
I like that.
Yeah.
Yeah, that seems right.
That'd be fun.
Well, so I have to go because I've already been.
And if I didn't go, I will have already experienced it.
Are there even big enough tables?
I'm just hoping that it's branded.
I think we all know that.
Yeah, I got that.
It's so fun.
Even in my mind, I knew it was me, so.
Yeah, I think we all were thinking of it. Y'all should probably just go. Not bring you. Yeah. It's so fun. Even in my mind, I knew it was me, so. Yeah.
I think we all were thinking of it.
Y'all should probably just go.
Not bring you?
Yeah.
No.
That's how much fun you'll have.
Listen to the wheel.
I did talk to Steven and Nate and Roan about once a year doing it as like a, like someday they'll make a movie about us.
They've been going to Labor and Hardin once a year for 50 years.
The Lunch Club.
Yeah.
Sequel. I think somebody's probably already
on that. Don't you think there's guys or
people that already go to Le Bernardin,
that restaurant, once a year?
Financiers? If you can't say it, you can't
come. Le Bernardin.
Barnyard. Barnyard Den.
The Bernie. The Bernie place.
Hold on, hold on, hold on. Bernie's Beanery?
Le Bernardin.
There it is.
Is that close enough?
Yeah.
Why don't we spin the wheel? Let's see if we get it.
Let me do the high noonette.
Do that again.
Yeah, do the high noonette.
Do the side.
Wait, wrong.
You want to?
He's like the best at it.
I mean, he's best at it.
I want to do it now.
I was trying to take the yoke off, brother.
Go ahead.
We've actually started grading Brandon's at the day.
Oh, okay, please.
No, no, no.
It's your, it's your.
You've already. I'm not doing the goddamn thing. It's a fun wrinkle. You got it. Want actually started grading Brandon's ad. Oh, okay. For the day. No, no, no. It's your... I don't want to do that.
I'm not doing the goddamn ad.
It's a fun wrinkle.
You got it.
Want to do it together?
Yeah.
High Noon is a hard seltzer made with real vodka, real juice, and sparkling water.
It doesn't have malt like those other shitty seltzers.
Who's doing the ad?
Oh, we can't do it together?
He's doing it.
I got this, bro.
It doesn't have malt like those other shitty seltzers. And now they have big cans of peach and pineapple.
What?
I could have made a big can.
What are you doing?
Big cans?
Are you part of it?
I know, Big Cat.
I'm just asking a question.
Big Cat, big cans.
And they got them in the peach and the pineapple, which is Brandon's favorite.
But take that from me.
I like the peach.
Take it from me, brother.
Only 100 calories, gluten-free, and no added sugar.
High Noon's full-time flavors are pineapple, black cherry, watermelon, grapefruit, lime, peach, mango, passion fruit, lemon.
And their limited edition flavors are pear, cranberry, and kiwi guava in the pool pack.
Oh.
Ooh, yum.
What's pear and cranberry in?
It's the tailgate pack.
Oh.
But that's because you're reading along.
No, I already knew it. I have a tailgate pack. Oh. But that's because you're reading along. No, I already knew it.
I have a tailgate pack stashed under my desk.
You think you could do this off the top, this whole ad read, and not miss a single talking point?
Yeah, I could.
Remember, KB used to memorize the ads back in the day.
What was that ad?
He just wanted to fit in.
Serious ad, yeah.
Serious ad.
Well, this one would be more serious.
Look for them on Drizzly and at your local convenience or liquor store
or visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you.
Yeah, he had to get to a certain amount of words.
Just filling it out with fluff.
Great ad read.
Kind of want to buy a high noon right now.
You seriously should.
Never felt this way.
Yeah.
Something different when it comes from the heart.
It was relatable coming from a normal accent.
Right. And also a guy who you
know actually drinks high noons.
I have high noon stashed under my desk.
6,000 pallets and
gives them away. I will say Brandon was
cracking a high noon at sunrise
in Arizona every single day.
He was vacation mode. I'm different when I get out there.
Yeah.
Brandon, have those shoes been stepped
outside? No way.
They've stepped outside, yeah. Oh, I stepped on
his shoes on Friday like four times.
I just kept falling for it.
Basketball, he was dribbling.
I was like, let me try to
do a low post move on you. And Brandon would be like,
alright. And then I would just do a drop
step right on his foot. He'd be like, god damn it.
Why do I keep falling for this? That's not really He'd be like, God damn it. Why do I keep falling for this?
That's not really what I sounded like.
Yeah, you're like, God damn it.
Give me Christmas.
Brandon.
Hey.
Did you watch the Murdoch murders documentary?
I don't watch any murder shit.
Oh.
Okay, this one.
This is more your speed.
Alabama basketball, yeah.
It's insane.
Insane.
Insane.
Because it's like way, I thought it was just one murder.
It's like many murders.
Yeah, and the way they presented it.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
The kid on the road.
The kid, yeah.
What is this?
It's from Sacramento, right?
You got to watch it.
You just watch it.
It's not on Netflix.
It's a lawyer family.
It is on Netflix, isn't it?
I watched it on Netflix.
It's on Netflix?
I just was looking at the.
How many are there? Just three episodes. All right, so I watched that one. A little under? I just was looking at the How many are there?
Just three episodes
Alright so I watched that one
A little under an hour I think
Good
Dude
The story itself
Is
Again I thought it was like one
It's
I don't know how y'all watch that real life murder stuff
It creeps me out too much
This one isn't as
I don't wanna watch it
Grim or
It's all mysteries
Fuck me up when I was nine
I can't watch that shit
Oh dude that guy
You would wanna be His leather coat Robert Stack Yeah he'd scare the fuck out of me or interest. I saw Mysteries fuck me up when I was nine. I can't watch that shit. Oh, dude, that guy.
You would want to be him. His leather coat.
Robert Stack?
Yeah, he'd scare
the fuck out of me.
Yeah, the music?
I was very excited.
Watch Cops and then that.
And then you'd just be like...
And then we have
the Ghost episode
once a season?
I couldn't handle that shit.
They did a reboot,
but Robert Stack is dead.
So he wasn't.
Is he on it?
No.
The reboot was on Netflix
like two years ago.
That shit was...
America's Most Wanted,
Pops,
and Unsolved Mysteries
on Saturday night.
Rescue 911
was an early one.
That shit would fuck you up
if you were a child watching it.
Pops was funny though.
Mostly.
Listen.
I loved Pops. Unsolved Mysteries Mostly. Listen. I loved Cops.
Unsolved Mysteries was never funny.
I think that's where I found out about the Unabomber.
He was on Unsolved Mysteries.
Was he?
It was Unsolved.
He was on Unsolved Mysteries.
My brother is a huge Cops fan.
Right.
And do you know they do Cops live now?
Well, no.
It's not anymore.
It got canceled?
Oh, yeah.
It's not back, though. I don't think back though when it was live it was huge yeah i
think they were like yeah these cops are kind of playing it up for the camera and it's not good
yeah because they were like very reasonable and nice yeah i saw a family member get arrested on
cops and i stopped after that that's how i found out they got arrested. No. Yeah, it was wild. That's crazy. Shit.
I was watching it with, like, my parents.
What relation? I can't say
that. I watched
my dad get arrested, but they made me watch it in court.
Yeah?
Does that happen in South Park? What?
Kenny's sitting there watching cops
and all of a sudden he sees the cops is outside of
his house. Oh my god, yeah, it might have.
That happens in Shrek 2.
It is a weird vibe because my parents used to love that show
but when you see that happen,
it ruins the night.
I can't imagine that.
Watch the Iron Giant afterwards.
Sad.
That's even worse.
I know.
I wish I could watch old cops episodes.
There's so many funny moments.
I think it's on Netflix.
My TikTok algorithm is all the best old cops episodes. There's so many funny moments. I think it's on Netflix. My TikTok algorithm is all like the best old cops clips.
Yeah.
My algorithm picked it up.
You ever seen the guy doing karate?
Has that ever popped up?
No, I didn't see that one.
It's ring number 911.
No, it was like the start of a cops episode.
It was a dude, a cop in like sick sunglasses,
just like doing karate on a punching bag.
And then he went out and just like tackled some minority.
It's like, whoa, this is sick.
It's a drink.
If you want to fill that void, I recommend the GTA role-playing video.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, those are –
Watching Tee Grizzly play it.
It's very funny.
It is.
Can we watch another one of those?
Those are my favorite.
Isn't it like Kodak Black?
He made someone strip.
I haven't seen him, but I saw that he did play it.
He was making someone – The game is so – Let me see what that dick looked like. He was making the dude strip. I haven't seen him, but I saw that he did play it. He was like making someone.
The game is so.
Let me see what that dick looked like.
He was like making the dude strip.
Those are so funny.
The game is the coolest thing in the world.
Brandon, did you tweet what your son Tommy said to you?
No, because he's been, I don't know if he's self-aware or anything,
but he's just been saying things recently.
He walked into the living room yesterday and said, Dad, why did you let
me and
my sister, why did you let us watch
Dora the Explorer when we were younger? And I was like,
I don't know. I just thought it was something
y'all could watch. And he said, the only things you learned from
Dora the Explorer are rage, anger, and Spanish.
And I was like,
good things to learn, huh? Alright, yeah, that's fine.
What did they know? Yeah, he was
just digging into me about my parenting.
He's been judging my parenting a lot.
You and Tommy remind me.
You guys remind me of Alec and Paul Murdoch from this show.
Yeah.
Yes.
Murders?
Yes.
Yes, well.
Southern?
No, it kind of hypes them up.
They look like the most.
It makes them seem so powerful.
And it's not manslaughter and murderers.
If you have one murderer, you're a murderer, though.
No, no, but the other one, Tommy would be a manslaughterer.
How do you know?
You don't know how he would kill?
Yeah, that was manslaughter.
That was Tommy kill.
Vehicular manslaughter.
Vehicular, right.
You're a stone cold murderer.
I don't think you could kill.
You're soft as fuck.
I can't kill.
I can't kill animals.
I don't hunt.
I can't kill anything. If a spider's in my living room, I pick it up with tissue and go put could kill. You're soft as fuck. I can't kill. I can't kill animals. I don't hunt. I can't kill anything.
If a spider's in my living room, I pick it up with tissue and go put it outside.
You fish.
I'd put them back.
You'd kill a joke.
Yeah.
Kill your diet every time you try to start.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess you're killing yourself.
Right.
So true.
What's happening?
I spin the wheel, and then find me one of those cop clips.
Cop clip or video game?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was a good airplane.
Thanks, brother.
Uh-oh.
So be it.
All right.
That means we spin again?
Yeah.
That's a clean-looking wheel, too.
Agreed.
Oh, shit.
I wonder if my pagers came in.
Already?
Oh.
I think.
Pagers?
I bought a bunch of restaurant pagers.
Yeah.
If we want anybody on the yak, they'll buzz.
We're just going to put it on their desks.
Who will they go to?
They'll come here.
But I'm saying, who will get them out there?
I think Glamour's getting one.
Oh, I'm going to pass them out, and then I'll have the control right here.
It's like, oh, we want to talk to that person?
That's going to be sick.
I'll start slobbering like a lab rat.
That shit, nothing made you hungrier than that pager.
I also bought Brandon some roller skates.
They do need charged, though, so I think when they walk in, they'll have to grab the pagers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We have to know what number they are.
Roller skates?
Four-wheelers?
Fart eliminator?
No.
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
God damn it.
I don't have it.
No.
Oh, yeah. I't have it. No. Oh, yeah.
I just farted.
No.
I haven't eaten in fucking 20 hours.
Damn it.
I have nothing.
My butthole saw that, though.
This is a dangerous game for me because I went to Fish Market last night, and they have
a new soup.
I tried a new off-menu soup.
That's your spot, right?
Fish Market?
Yeah.
Do we go on our mics, or do we have to use the fart mic? I'd say fart mic. I tried an off-menu soup. That's your spot, right? Fish Market? Yeah. Do we have to use the fart mic?
I'd say fart mic.
Why are we doing this?
This sucks.
Why don't we leave shit on the wheel?
I don't know.
I did say that that should be not on the wheel for three months.
How long ago was that?
Can we turn it into something else?
Are we already trying to fart on it?
Let's find a way where we can be clever.
I think we should just spin again.
Let's spin again.
Nobody wants to do that.
Nobody wants to do it.
I think it needs to be three months.
Three months and then it becomes funny again.
Too recent.
Sass has been brewing up farts.
Sass is just pumping.
I actually might be able to.
I'm trying it.
I have farts ready to go right now.
What did you eat yesterday?
Chinese food. Was that Kyle? Kyle, I heard that. I heard trying it. I have farts ready to go right now. What did you eat yesterday? Chinese food.
Was that Kyle?
Kyle, I heard that.
I heard that too.
Okay, yeah.
So if we do it, I'm in.
I'm out.
It seems like we're doing it, huh?
God damn it.
All right, I can't.
You guys.
I can't.
Can I ask one of the OnlyFans girls what her butt is or something like that?
Let's just spin again.
Yeah, all right.
We tried.
But if it lands on fart eliminator again, we have to shit our pants.
Deal, deal, deal, deal, deal.
I'm afraid.
On this spin.
Yeah.
If it lands on wet, I'm opting out of wet and doing a fart.
No. Yeah. A wet fart. because i don't betray the wheel i'm down to do the fart that known and then take fart eliminator off
till three months time we did a wet wheel get on for right now can we put watermelon on it the
watermelon rubber band thing oh we gotta just do that Why don't we just do things? Yeah.
We did a wet wheel the other day. Kyle went and got wet at the end of the show and it wasn't funny
at all. No. We still, oh my
God. Okay.
Okay. Good. Good.
Good.
I'll do ML cake this week.
I got to figure out what it is, but I'll do it.
You do it tomorrow. I'm not going to be out on Wednesday, Thursday, and
Friday. So is Stephen. On to the combine?
Yeah.
On to Indy, and then we have Ruff and Rowdy.
You get to either of those.
I'll be around all next week.
I'll do it next week.
Buy rnr.com.
Don't want to miss it.
It's going to be a classic.
Rowan, you'll be there.
Oh, I can't wait.
Big Dick Booty Daddy's coming. Where's this one at?
Charleston?
Charleston, yeah.
We've got to fight back.
Fuck yeah. All right. It's always TJ. We've got to fight back.
It's always TJ.
We've got to fly commercial there, though.
The milk challenge is... I'm going to drive from India.
Like four hours?
It's not bad.
It's nice.
I like driving.
Can you add some more things to this wheel?
I added Silent Library.
Oh, no.
Chile?
The milk? no. Chile?
The milk.
Cuba?
Chile.
Cuba.
Hibachi is the Hibachi person comes in here, right?
Yeah, I'll pay for that.
They'll just cook us Hibachi.
Let me fart.
It's going to be Hibachi.
It's going to be Hibachi.
All right. Nice. Thatibachi. All right.
Nice.
That's fun.
All right.
So next week, TJ, Stephen, can you figure out how we get a hibachi guy here?
We just need, I mean, Chef Donnie might be able to do it.
He can't do onion volcano, trust me. And he's also not Asian.
But we just need an open grill surface.
The Asian guy.
Yeah.
Filipino, preferably.
You want Filipino?
They do it best.
Japanese.
I know.
I think they do it best.
If you do a hibachi place and it's a white dude, do you ask for a refund?
Yeah.
Just don't sit down.
Yeah.
I have some bad news about hibachi.
In New York City, they can't do the onion volcano because it's something against fire code.
There's a benihana near where I used to work.
What the fuck?
And it's not hibachi.
Do they have the pissing boy?
The worst news I've ever heard.
I don't know, but it was legitimately a Benihana.
What's the pissing boy?
They spray it on the...
They squeeze a boy and he pees on the grill.
Do you guys know?
Is that only my...
Really, Matt?
Squeeze a boy?
Yeah, the fusion in the highlands.
Activates urine?
I think that's yours.
No, it's a little boy holding-
He's sake.
It might be sake, and he's peeing.
Search hibachi pissing boy.
Oh, you're talking about that little, you pull his shorts down, and a little pee comes
out, but it's filled with oil?
I don't know about that.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's called like a weepy wee-wee or something weird like that.
I actually think we should do a spin on this.
I think we should spin to see who has to be the hibachi cook.
You're going to be my child peon.
And then we can do an onion.
Why are we getting owls?
We didn't do the fart elimination.
I farted.
Listen, it's got to be.
EKB farted.
I definitely said that it has to be three months time.
EKB inside.
Because then it's funny again.
That L means it stands for love.
Yeah, that's true.
I love you guys back.
Didn't we have Fart Eliminator twice anyway?
Yeah.
Two days in a row.
Yeah.
Yep.
Gotta let that pause.
Then it randomly comes up and we're like, what the fuck?
We gotta do a better job of navigating what's on the wheel or making sure funny things are on the wheel.
Fart Eliminator just living there was silly.
Let's do a complete wheel revamp.
Oh, we could do another one, yeah.
Do you like the name wheels?
Yeah, we could do a revamp.
KB, you ever guap up a homeless?
Hold on, I'm going to see if my shit's here.
No, I haven't.
Pagers?
Pagers Stoyakovich?
Oh, fucking shit. Kate, what did you do all weekend?
I went down to the...
When it's cold out, I have found that the
55 and up community that my parents live in,
they live in an apartment. It's all olds.
My son loves it
down there. Where's it at? It's down
in Exton. Oh, nice. All the olds
are pumped to see him. They got shuffleboard,
all the old people games.
And he just goes,
they put little decorations
outside their doors for him.
He goes from door to door.
There's dogs.
It's like my go-to.
So my parents is a blast.
Yeah, it's like a really good time.
They drink fireball every Tuesday.
They're like drinking a ton.
They have like a liquor cabinet
in the main room.
So he likes funeral homes
and now he's to retirement homes.
He's Benjamin Buttoning. He's pretty much right right he's going the other way but yeah no i just
go down to the the 55 and up what's the funeral home something mania calhoun mania yeah we were
just there again this on yesterday they need merch they do they're angry at us. Yeah? They're angry at you guys, not me.
They love me.
Now I'm going to have to fart.
No.
Why?
I don't think you guys should let them bully you.
That's funny.
Personally, I'm down to fart.
I don't think you guys should let them control you. I begged you guys to fart, but you said no.
How many farts you got in you?
Could you fart for all of us?
Yeah, because you think you did?
Oh, fart champion.
Yeah.
That's not part of the rules.
No, but we're actually suggesting it. Yeah, probably not.? Oh, fart champion. Yeah. That's not part of the rules. No, but we're asking. I'm just suggesting it.
Probably not.
We could pick fart champions.
I want Danny.
The way he's fucking munching on it.
All right, here we go.
I might go get my sister.
She's a prolific farter.
I'm going to get Kamaz.
What?
I just won't even be able to hear it.
I don't know.
I just thought it was a thing to label her as.
Thank you, Ebony.
Ebony?
It's like
as seen on OnlyFans.
God, I just fucking ripped.
That sounded like
a knuckle popping.
I agree with you.
These guys.
That was a classic splat.
That was gross. Oh, man. That was a classic splat. That was gross.
Oh, man.
That smelled.
I wish I knew because I kind of let out a lot of them.
You all right, Brandon?
I hate farts.
I just hate farts.
Of course, Joey Langone has the pissing boy.
I farted.
Wireless calling system.
Let's go.
How much is this again?
It's like 200 bucks.
Put your butt down.
Sorry.
I'm kidding.
You can lift your butt up.
I really don't care.
I don't hate farts as much as Brandon.
I have a no fart rule in my car and how's penny doing uh not good to be honest with you what yeah she's doing uh not not good at all
to be honest with you guys behavior or health health oh and to be honest i feel bad uh ever
making fun of you your dog ownership uh i've been struggling a lot with that recently.
Yeah.
She is very sick.
Oh.
What?
I kind of want to spike the football, but I don't think I should.
Yeah.
Dog.
You can do whatever you want because we've been a dick to you.
But, yeah, I think it's canine distemper which is a pretty pretty
pretty negative thing
and so we're trying
to do some
intervention
like Hail Mary
intervention type of things
but
oh man I'm sorry
who knows if that shit
will work
terrible
I'd appreciate you asking
I shouldn't have asked
appreciate you asking
happy to bring the mood up
alright let's
let's fart
but I flew back
I flew back early yesterday from Toronto
to spend time with her.
Took her out to Coney Island.
She saw the beach, so
I get things off.
Oh, damn.
That's awful.
It's not your thing for me to ask.
No, it's not your fault.
It's just bad, bad, bad luck.
She was vaccinated for it, too, but
you know those things don't work.
Bullshit.
So while we're on it, I think we all expected
those pagers to be a lot bigger than they are.
They're the exact right size.
I was expecting coaster size.
You want me to buy more? I'll buy more.
They're not the pagers that you get in the 99.
I thought you were rich.
How are we going to figure out the 20 people that get them?
I don't know.
There's not even 20 people in the office right now.
Yeah.
We're not going to have a hard time.
We should all draft one person to give our pager to.
Yeah, we should award the pager.
I'm giving mine to Ron.
Don't.
No, you deserve it dude
Thank you bro
That means a lot man
It's been a tough time
I'm giving mine to Blattman
For you Nick
I know just where
He can keep it
Right in between those cheeks
Yeah
Yeah
Here we go
It could fit
We're paging him all the time
Yeah it could fit
You're saying that his ass is so bulbous
Yeah he's got a tight ass
Here he is back from Europe
Yeah
He's on his Europe shit
I know he wasn't fitting in those seats over there
No chance
Tiny little plates
He had two toilets
One for each of his bulbous ass cheeks Arrow eyes, tiny little plates. He needs two toilets.
One for each of his bulbous ass cheeks.
I'm sure these toilets aren't big enough.
His ass is so big he needs two toilets.
What?
The cheek is what's pooping, not the hole of the butt. He has one cheek on each of his shits on the floor.
Come on, Brandon. Plug that shit in there.
Come on, Brandon.
You got it.
No butt crack.
None.
Not a single.
Oh!
That's awesome.
So how do you know which one you're calling?
They're numbered.
There's buttons on the...
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, that's good.
That is so good.
No way.
How far do you think it'll go?
I don't know.
Let's find out.
How do I stop it?
Do you put it in the thing?
How do I stop it?
I'll put it in the thing.
The Olive Garden at the Highlands, I could go to Books A Million and still...
Oh, yeah.
So probably a football field.
I think we've got...
Who goes up to?
Dang.
Was Books A Million a different store.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Secret camera
and just hide these
over there
and I'll start hitting them.
Yeah.
I like that idea
or just put one
on somebody's desk
without them noticing
and then go
go against the idea
of the this does.
Yes.
Go just
all right.
Nice.
I are free to go.
This thing is awesome.
Check it out.
Ah.
Do they vibrate?
I don't know why.
I don't know why I'm like,
like, of course this is what it is.
Why are you throwing them so far?
Yeah, we don't need them.
13.
I'm 11.
I've got 13 ready.
I was actually here first.
Mine beat first before.
No, it wasn't.
No, no, no, no, no.
I was in line before this guy.
I was in line before this guy.
How'd you get 13 then if I got 11?
Because I was here before you.
No, you weren't because I got 11.
He gave me an order.
It's like golf.
Ah.
If this guy eats before me, I'm leaving.
Steven, go hide these around the office
and I'll start hitting all the numbers.
Oh, you can turn it off yourself. What?
You want me to hide several of them? Yeah.
Oh, okay. Hide them like right
on this side and then just go sit out there
and I'll just hit them all. This guy has his entree.
We haven't even got our appetizers yet.
What's going on?
I'd at least like to get a drink.
This thing is awesome.
Yeah, it is.
It's going to get no use.
So dumb.
And we're going to use it.
It should be an honor to get one of those.
Yeah.
This is like when an autistic kid gets a present and it's the box.
It's an avocado, yeah.
This is exactly like that.
Yeah.
In every single way.
Dude, this is so fucking cool.
Keep talking that shit.
Look, I'll get you beeping up.
See how far you can get.
See what the range is.
Go drop these.
I don't want to drop them.
Why?
He farted.
He's got a point.
Man can do whatever he wants.
He farted.
He's a made man.
We'll just leave a couple of these on the deck.
We should give them to people to hold on to forever.
And if it goes off, that's us summoning them. I think we have to hand them out every day, though.
We've got to recharge them.
No, they just bring them back.
It's their responsibility.
We should have it out so people want to grab them in the morning,
but that should incentivize them to come in some way.
Also, we won't know who has which number.
That would be kind of fun.
Oh, that is cool.
They get $100.
Let's just get 11 in here.
We spin it, and we're just like, yeah, get seven in here.
Give it to five people, whoever comes in the fastest,
whoever comes in the slowest.
Put these on the desks over by where Joey and them sit.
Just put a couple down in random spots.
Does Spy cam out already?
Yes, Spy cam.
I just want to see what the reactions will be.
We're going to Mr. Beast these people?
Yeah, a little bit.
Game of Heads?
No, you can just play a couple hidden.
Don't give one to Clemmer.
That means he's a free guy.
Don't give one to anyone.
Just put them out.
They're not going to know where to go.
I know. I just want to see what their reaction is
when something's just... It's like rats in a maze.
Can they figure it out? Yeah.
Do you guys get talks in your algorithm
of the guy that stands on the campus with like a $100
bill? Yeah. I hate that.
I don't like that.
He's like, I'm depressed. I need someone
to talk to. And then he flips over and he's like,
oh, that guy sucks.
No shit, dude.
He thinks he figured out some
like, oh, look at how fucked up our society
is. People want free money instead of talking
to a stranger. We sent our least sneaky guy
to do this. Yes. Yeah. Did you
what is he doing?
Just walking right up to people.
No, I just had a question
to ask him about
a NASCAR thing.
He has to ask him.
Is he working right now?
Yeah.
Yep.
I guess he was sneaky there.
Yeah, that was kind of sneaky.
I...
Okay.
Have you seen the TikTok
of that guy that's like,
how much is your rent?
Can I see your apartment?
Yes.
He went up to that guy that just holds a sign on Instagram.
Oh, yeah.
You see his apartment?
Holy fuck.
Is it super nice?
Is BFT here today?
God damn it.
I know.
That's what I said.
Jerry, is BFT here today?
There's going to be a lot of comments about how dirty the office is.
Well, it's disgusting.
It is.
Yeah, I guess that's why there will be comments.
We need a brush fire to kind of just sweep out the layer of trash we have.
It's really gross.
Seeing it on camera is so much more shocking than now.
Yeah.
Way too many places.
When I have friends in town, they're like, can I see the office?
They've never been satisfied with the tour.
Oh, no.
Wait, TJ, do you have a camera that we can watch of, like, the office, the security cam?
Oh, yeah. Can we cut to that angle of, like, the rund have a camera that we can watch of the office, the security cam? Oh, yeah.
Can we cut to that angle of the rundown?
What's he doing?
I'm just writing.
Oh, there we go.
That's exactly what's happening.
I have notifications set for that on the Trusted Data account.
He's having real conversations.
That's how he's being sneaky.
He also didn't let... I wanted
to be in one little area so he could sit.
Jeff Vibber's desk.
It is Monday,
so I guess the week's almost over.
That's how it works.
He's trapped in a convo.
That's Sass's desk. Don't put it on Sass's desk.
Right. He's fully trapped in a convo That's Sass's desk Don't put it on Sass's desk Right He's fully trapped in a convo
Yep
I'm gonna start peeping him
Yep
Oh boy
Bail, bail, bail
Bail, bail
Steven, get out of there
Yeah
Yeah
Chatty ass Duggs.
Yeah, that's a good strategy.
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
Let me know when you hop back on.
He's pranking us.
I would.
Hey.
Steven.
Steven, go back towards where Alex Bennett is.
I'll put one in the trash can.
Steven. Oh, look. All right. Bennett is. I'll put one in the trash can. Steven.
Oh, look.
All right.
Now should I start hearing him?
What is he doing?
What is he doing?
You come to work every day.
Clem are giving him some sass.
Always.
Yes.
Okay.
Clem is getting real sassy.
I like it.
Oh, yeah.
It's the best. All right, Steven. That's enough. I donmer is getting real sassy. I like it.
Steven, that's enough.
I don't think he can hear us.
Yeah, slide.
Should I start hitting him?
Until he comes back.
No, don't put any over there.
It doesn't do anything for us.
We got to test the range, though.
Yeah, true.
It's going to be mass chaos.
He's coming back through.
All right, I'm going to start hitting him.
Get out of there, Steven.
Get out of there. Go, go, go.
It's like when a guy's running from an explosion.
You've got to play cool.
Walk away.
Drop the gun.
Just walk away. Don't run. Oh, heads are turning.
Are we foxes?
Go back to the other camera.
Oh, yeah. Oh, look at Clemmer.
Like when a meerkat comes out of a hole.
Are they all beeping?
Oh, look.
Is Clemmer pissed?
Clemmer's fed up with this.
What are you mad about?
Oh, he's looking.
He's like, what the fuck is this?
If it's a bomb.
He's going to go back.
Oh, he doesn't.
He's so confused.
He's been, he's had a short fuse lately.
Yeah.
Is that? He's been He's had a short fuse lately Ken Jack is looking around Oh Robbie
Clemmer is so mad
Yeah we got them all
Look
He's so mad
He's gonna go back to his old job
Of being a necktie
Oh the spider's on it
Look at that one.
Maybe stop for an extended period.
Well, no, because I think they're turning them off,
so I'm going to keep turning them on.
Oh, you have the power to override it? Yeah.
This is awesome.
Oh, they're getting them.
By awesome.
Oh, yeah.
It's really only fun for us.
Rounding them up. I wish Troops was here. It's really only fun for us. Rounding them up.
I wish Troops was here.
He's the best to walk with.
He's got a stream.
We're going to put him in the couch.
Oh, man.
Like all 20.
All of them.
Yes, yes.
And then we'll do 19, then like wait one hour.
Clemmer's about to kill him, motherfucker.
Clemmer.
Does he know that?
These little fucking things are everywhere.
The perfect foil Donald
Colgate
They got a good distance
She goes such a grinder
She doesn't even pick her head up
It's so respectable
Let's see this go back out there
They got camera on Che So respectable. Steve's going back out there.
They got camera on Che.
Liam's got... God.
Thank God.
Oh, he collected all of them.
Spider did.
What number does he got there?
It's only a couple.
It's only four, five.
Can we get audio on Che or is he?
He's muted.
What a fucking idiot.
He took them and now he's coming back.
All right, so that's basically this whole thing that I just bought for $200.
All right.
Let's do it again.
Wait, is there an upstairs camera? I want to interrupt
real work. Yeah.
There's no upstairs camera? What'd they say?
I like
the upstairs. What'd he say?
Yeah.
Five, six, seven, two, three.
We're missing one and eight.
I just got a text from Ken Jack.
Che is the least smooth person alive.
What's up?
Everyone's sitting at their desk.
No, dude, you just put it out of order.
God damn it.
Kid farts, thinks he can do anything.
You guys going to fart?
Yeah.
After the show.
Tonight.
I'm so far from having a fart.
Can I borrow a fart?
Can you fart for me?
I'll try.
Okay.
This is a waste of money.
We just have two that are sitting out there now.
Maybe slip one by Glennie and his OnlyFans girl.
We'll call them back.
We got to put it in the room.
Are they already recording it?
They're right behind you.
I don't know if we want to put a vibrating device in there.
He won't notice.
Okay, well, that was my fault.
That was awesome.
I mean, I had fun.
I'm happy that we have those.
We'll do something else.
The original idea is the best.
Yeah, we, yeah.
We can call people.
We're having five people.
They go off or they're hidden on some fucking Willy Wonka.
A little golden ticket.
People come in.
They get free money.
Or like, did you guys see the video of the guy with the mystery box? And he's going up to people like, would you shave your head for what's in this mystery box?
Yeah.
They shave their head and it was a... Yeahty yeah was that supreme patty yep what an
asshole wait what's in the mystery box quarter oh and so this girl shaves her head a woman
for a quarter that's at the sneaker shows those guys at the mystery boxes have you seen that
yeah like 200 like what 200 bucks or
something and you get a mystery box but some of the shoes could be worth thousands but most of
them are worth like these little kids going up and paying their all their hard-earned money
getting sure money and getting like nothing mystery box could be anything really good
really good dang i guess you're right brand Brandon. Could be literally anything. It could even be a boat. What's that shirt about, Brandon?
It's just a general statement.
I'm a poor.
That's not true.
It's MJF's shirt.
The shirt that MJF.
It's a wrestling shirt.
That's dope.
Yeah.
It's funny to wear it since you're rich now.
If you were wearing that while you were poor.
I would have felt very bad, yeah.
Although, this shirt has gotten more.
On the train today, it got like five comments of people speaking up.
That recognize it, or?
No, one guy said, I'm sorry.
I said, for what?
He said that you're poor.
All right, well, relax.
You mean money, or fucking shut up about it?
The irony is, it costs $65.
So, to buy it, you
have to have some
extra money.
What do you think the right price for a hoodie is?
I think in the $40 to $50
range. Oh, no.
What? Is that too high?
Too low. That's cheap
material.
However much they're selling them for at fucking
A&F, bro.
That shit was probably fucking 300.
That's a great sweatshirt.
Nah, it's perma-stained.
So?
You know it's good.
Jesus, do you have one of those cop videos?
I got the Kodak Black one.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, do T- Yeah, do T-slash.
Hey, do T-slash.
I don't have jeans, man.
Oh, man.
He's much better that way.
Butt naked.
Take them bosses off.
Thank you.
Thank you, man.
Take them bosses off, homie.
Stop dick eating, bro.
Take them bosses off, homie.
Let me see how big that dick is, man.
Take it, man.
Take all that dick off, man. Take all that dick is. Let me see how big that dick is.
Let's see how big that dick is.
Let me see how big that dick is.
Hilarious thing to say when you're robbing someone.
Making dudes fuck each other when you rob them.
Look at this little wallet blade that we got, that Nick got and gave it to me.
I see. Got a bunch of knives at the show.
Oh, jeez.
Put it in your credit card and then you just
cut that
safety. Cut that Red Bull can
top to bottom. I don't think this thing is capable
of... Oh, shit! I think it is.
Are you flying soon? I know.
I got to take it out.
Yeah.
Oh, good call.
Pretty sweet.
Yeah, that's it.
That is sweet.
I gave them all away.
Damn.
I was throwing them out to the audience.
With perfect precision.
Did you guys kiss somebody at the show?
I kissed somebody on the fucking lips.
Oh.
Whoa.
Yeah, a dude came up to me.
He pulled out the coin. He cheek for on the fucking lips. Oh. Yeah, a dude came up to me, pulled out the coin.
He cheek for photo,
lips for,
you know,
to honor the coin.
I said,
do you want lips or cheek?
And he said,
what do you think?
Went right in for the lips.
Hell yeah.
That's a cute picture.
You got this chili.
That's good looking.
Who does he seem happier
to be kissed by?
That's not a Yak fan.
Oh.
He's way too good looking. I know. Yeah, that's not. That's not, imagine if he he seem happier to be kissed by? That's not a Yak fan. No. He's way too good looking.
I know.
Yeah, that's not.
Imagine if he was just like one of the hundreds of people right now being like, fuck them,
they won't fart.
Yeah.
He owns a coin.
He probably is.
He's one of those guys.
Has the chat gotten more mad or less mad, TJ?
A bunch of people probably left.
Oh, no. Hello. Idaho. Idaho. Mad TJ A bunch of people Probably left Oh no
Hello
Idaho
Idaho
He was attractive
Can I borrow $8.99 a month
I got you bro
You know I got you
You know that $10.99 a month
Will get you at Chili's
The Chili's free for me deal
Only at Chili's
A bottomless drink
A starter like bottomless chips and salsa,
and a full-size entree like the classic old-timer with cheese
and a big old side of fries.
That's the Chili's 3 for me deal.
I'm telling you it is a feast, but like a casual feast.
I mean, it's just $10.99, and we're not even talking golden forks and stuff.
You can get this unbeatable abundance of food elsewhere, whether you're getting fast food or picking up groceries.
You cannot get this unbeatable abundance of food anywhere else.
I love Chili's.
I love Chili's.
Environment, atmosphere, there's nothing that gives me that down-home, nostalgic vibe like Chili's.
Bacon ranch, cheese fries. It's. Bacon ranch cheese fries.
It's comforting as all get out.
Head to your local Chili's where you can enjoy the three-for-me deal for just $10.99.
That's a steal.
Yep.
Great logo.
The top of the Chili is the apostrophe.
Come on.
Come on.
I feel like you like every logo.
I love Chili's so much.
It is my favorite restaurant. I used to do my birthday's at Chili bit. Come on, come on. I love Chili's so much. Yeah, I do too.
It is my favorite restaurant.
I used to do my birthdays at Chili's.
It's all I wanted.
What's the airport with the Chili's?
And everyone's like, this is the best airport.
Orlando, right?
Orlando.
That's the one that did.
The escalator.
Yeah, the escalator that goes up.
Yep.
Hank and I went there.
It was 2015.
Tampa Bay versus the Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup final.
We went there because we were early for our flight, and we asked the waitress.
She was like, how are you guys doing?
We're like, good, how are you?
And she goes, living the dream.
Oh, yeah.
It's like, damn.
And then just a little tip for everyone out there going to Chili's,
the minute you sit down, you get bottomless chips.
You need to be doing at least three rounds of bottomless chips before the entrees come.
Three is insane.
Anytime I get two, it ruins my meal.
I fucking love free food.
Chip to death, baby.
I'll chip myself to death every day.
I'll sit there and just be like, I know I'm ruining my meal, but I love chips.
She wants attention, I feel like.
Should we give her a pager?
What was the noise that you made, Brandon?
Should we give her a pager?
Should we put a pager in there?
Yeah.
Is that a motorboat?
Is that an explanation or just hand it to her?
No, no, no.
Just put it in there.
Just throw it in.
I feel incredibly inadequate right now.
She's really pretty.
He's writing.
He's viciously writing's writing He's vicious Voraciously writing
What's her name?
Shout out her OnlyFans
Yeah
If you were a guy who wanted
To know where to follow her
Who has it?
Steven, go get it
Just run in and ask her
what her only fans is
just get the name
Steve can you tell her
I said
you pass that along
we immediately went
in the wrong room
yep it's out and about
Joey's at this one
yep
he can see.
He's doing his hand
motions.
Kyle.
This is awkward.
It's awkward.
So awkward.
He's like these fucking
horn dogs on the
glasses.
She's a fucking dork.
Yuck.
Next.
Amy Briggs over here.
All right. Four eyes. Thanks. Janie Briggs over here. Alright, four eyes.
Nice plane.
What do you mean box?
Janie Briggs was the
knockoff character in Not Another Team movie.
Oh, really? Yes, brother.
What do we got, Steven?
It's Patty K.
P-A-T-T-Y
or P-A-T-I-K-A-Y-Y.
Oh, no.
What, were you distracted?
You got to go ask him.
P-A-T-I-K-A-Y-Y.
Patty K.
Paddock.
It's Patty K.
It's Patty K.
Yes.
You spelled out the K.
Or that's her last name. It's Patty K-P- You spelled out the K. Or that's her last name.
It's P-A-T-T-E-Y-I-E?
No.
P-A-T-I-K-A-Y-Y.
P-A-T-I-K-A-Y-Y.
Why are there two Y's?
Found her.
There we go.
Yeah. She plays go. Yeah.
She plays golf.
Ooh.
Don't they all?
No.
She got it linked up with rigs.
Hmm.
Huh.
Interesting.
I'm still raking in about 300 bucks a month on mine
that's awesome
I haven't opened the app in like 6 months
apologies to whoever keeps forgetting
what was your peak money
I think I made like 15 grand
peak and then I felt horribly
guilty and then I just was too
anxious to ever open it again
but you did get the 15 grand before you felt guilty
yeah but they don't take taxes out so I'm gonna I just was too anxious to ever open it again, and so then I just let it slowly die. But you did get the 15 grand before you felt guilty.
Yeah, but they don't take taxes out, so I'm going to have to tell my – I have to, like, go to H&R Block and tell the old lady in my neighborhood, Rita,
that I have to explain it, which I'm not looking forward to.
Only fans.
I'm just trying to get my 1, 4, and 8 back.
Where are they?
I don't know.
Are they still going off?
I can...
My best one was Frank was in the gambling cave
watching something almost laying down
and I threw it on the couch behind him.
That might be 8.
Can we go to the gambling cave right now?
It's number 7.
That is number 7.
7 and 8.
It was probably right by the baseball bat,
so it's probably gone if we can't see it from here.
Shit.
If you put it next to him,
do you think we could convince him that every time he touches it,
it turns off?
Like he has a magic power?
He's probably just powering through this.
It's probably going off.
What is he watching?
Steven, go put some more in there.
Yeah, throw a
bunch on that
back couch.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, no. Yeah, I know know Throw them all around on the couch
Put them in the back couch
Let's just do one at a time with them
Not all at once
I know, I'll wait
He finds one
Put them all there at once
Go in there and be like
I'm looking for something
Then hide them around the gambling cave
You got this, bro
Or don't even go.
You could just probably open up the window and just...
Alright, okay.
Bring back some snacks, too.
Oh, yeah. Good snacks today.
Cosmic brownies. We got Tostitos.
These guys are trying to fart.
Snacks.
Alright.
Are you nerds trying to fart? I already got one out.
You didn't.
I know. I heard nicks. Unless you nerds trying to fart? I already got one out. You didn't. So loud.
Ben has. I know.
I heard Nick's.
Unless you're old and didn't hear it.
Oh, no.
It was so high-pitched.
Unless you're poor and you didn't hear the fart.
Too poor to hear a fart.
I'm so poor.
Jeff Foxworthy.
I'm such a redneck, I can't even hear farts.
Crowd's going crazy.
Frank saw Jeff Dunham last night.
Oh, yeah.
At Progressive Center?
At Prudential Center?
He's been like, Frank has had residency at the Prudential Center.
Yeah, but...
Just put three in the same spot.
Dunham, I guess, has a new puppet.
He called me over to his desk to look at his new puppet,
and he said it looks exactly like Sass.
Yeah, he told me as well.
Nothing like Sass, right?
Nothing.
It was an Arab guy.
It was an Arab.
It was a dead terrorist.
He had a beanie on.
He had a beanie
and he was like an online kid named Earl.
Yeah.
U-R-L.
Yeah, I spelled that clever.
That is good spelling.
Yeah, Frank went to four Devils games last week.
And he had new food to review.
Like, how is there so much food in that stadium?
He's going to Seton Hall tomorrow night.
He just lives at the Prudentials.
Is he going to the Knicks tonight?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's sass.
That is sass.
That looks exactly like him.
The big head.
Oh, boy.
All right, go back to the gambling game.
Wait a minute.
Go back to that?
That could just be son of a boy dad promo.
Yeah.
The hat on that guy.
He's got ear pods in.
Oh, that's hilarious.
That's fucking lampooning.
That's really funny.
I bet you that kid doesn't give a fuck about anything.
Saz would never wear a Henley, though.
He kind of whiffed on that.
Yeah, he did.
I'm going to hit 11.
Can we hear him?
Is he doing a cameo, or is he...
No, he's reading.
That's why...
Glasses on his lip.
He's talking through his glasses
Does he hear it?
He has to
He's looking right at our camera
He knows
It looks like two eyes
Going through a painting
Looks like he has a little cat mouth
The way it comes down
It doesn't move.
That looks like James Goldfield.
Are they going off?
I heard one of them when I left.
They're kind of like behind the cushions.
Do 15 laps because that's like right off, right in the kitchen, right behind the whole
room.
He hasn't even budged.
He's on a customer service phone call.
He's on a customer service phone call, according to Che.
In case anyone didn't hear that.
I hope these are all going off right now.
And good snacks by Che.
I just turned them all on.
Stanko's going to be pissed.
We'll see if they're going off, Stephen.
I heard them.
Okay.
Put one right next to his ear.
They're behind the counter stations.
Do they all go in sync?
Or is it like...
I don't know.
Let me get a...
What?
What do you want?
I don't worry about it.
He wanted the blue Doritos.
That's not how it works.
That's not how it works.
Nor do I deserve them.
Oh, no.
I don't want these.
I don't either.
I did want them.
They look like fucking shit.
Cosmic brownies are elite.
They're so good.
Oh, wait.
Oh, oh, oh.
Is someone trying to figure it out?
Who is that?
Aria?
Jay.
Her name is Aria.
Frank hasn't been affected whatsoever.
He doesn't give a fuck.
No, he does not care.
Is Aria? Frank hasn't been affected whatsoever. He doesn't give a fuck. No, he does not care. Is Aria looking for him?
So Stanko was over there, but he said he just sat down.
I said I was looking for my laptop.
They're all peppered behind the back cushions of the couch,
and then one is like right next to Frank.
I feel like they're not going off.
Otherwise...
Frank is just a beast.
They're definitely going off,
and Frank's just not paying attention.
Want me to check?
I'll go check No I heard it going off as I was leaving
Should I put some more in there?
Yeah
Frank just had every credit card he's got
Pager episode.
I'm going to hit him all while Ron is walking.
So he just starts peeping.
This is fun.
This is fun.
I like doing stuff like this.
I'm having a good time.
What else should we yak about?
We have the dozen at three.
Oh, man.
We've been on the schedule a lot.
Who's the match against?
Who is it?
Lux?
Look at Frank going through his credit cards.
Zoom in on the number.
Going to the doctor's tomorrow morning to figure out why I'm so cold.
Very exciting.
I think they'll be like, let me check underneath your pants.
Oh, yep, you're a woman.
There's a vagina here.
It's probably that simple.
Probably is.
I'm so cold, it's really messing with me, folks.
Really?
I'm having trouble typing.
My hands are so cold.
My lips are always blue.
Really?
I'm having trouble functioning at work.
I'm so cold. Do you have a circulation problem?
I have on right now.
I've been wearing the waffle tops underneath.
Another shirt, a sweater.
I've been wearing the robe, and I'm still, my hands are like ice right now.
That's crazy.
I'm so cold.
Oh.
Rowan. Oh, Rowan just put ice right now. That's crazy. I'm so cold. Oh. Rowan.
Oh, Rowan just put one right by his ear.
All right.
I don't know if he's going to get up and leave.
No.
All right, I'm going to start hitting these.
Is he out?
Is Rowan out?
What's the one bot?
Do you know the numbers of them?
No.
Oh, that one.
Stop.
Now stop them all.
Then when he puts it back down, make him go off.
I was 16. That went to his right to go off.
I can hear him.
Oh.
Oh.
I can hear him from here.
Keep it going. Stop all when he... I just started the one that's in his hand. I can hear him. Oh. Oh. I can hear him from here. Oh.
Keep it going.
Stop all when he.
I just started the one that's in his hand.
He's like, Jesus, what the fuck?
It's going off in his hand.
I keep hitting it.
He keeps turning it off. No, Aria!
He's kind of enjoying it.
He's really hoping he was just going to close his eyes and just go to bed.
Aria just took care of that for him.
They're all over the office still, and people are pissed.
Are they really?
Oh, shit.
Really?
That's awesome.
There's one on the rundown set that's going crazy.
Everybody's like, they were looking at me like I'm an asshole.
I just texted Aria to just put them behind Frank again,
but I think he already walked away.
Yeah, that is annoying as fuck.
It's very annoying.
There's one button on the side of it you can turn it off.
Yeah, but I keep turning them back on.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah.
How much was that?
Like 200 bucks.
Get another.
I might have.
Let's just fill this entire office with these.
Frank's going to the Knicks game tonight with Jenks.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
People are going to stare daggers at us.
I'm going to put more in Frank's single file line out of the act.
I'm just going to go right home.
Yeah.
I'm going to put more behind Frank.
You could literally just go in there and tuck them in his chair.
Be like, hey, big cat.
Spring training and shit.
That cosmic brownie was so good.
How do they keep it so moist?
I don't know.
It's got to be some kind of crazy chemicals.
It's got to be something from space.
Yeah.
Moon rocks.
Is that not cosmic enough?
No, that's cosmic enough.
What are your thoughts
on brownies, Brandon?
Delicious.
More of a Boy Scout guy?
Oh, he knows. Oh oh he fucking knows
get out of there
get out of there
run run run run run
it's hilarious
because there's like
no prank to it
except for an annoying
noise just happens
by
yeah
watch six adults team up on Frank Fleming.
Yeah.
It's nonplussed.
What's the matter?
Too much sound for you?
What are you going to do?
His alarm in the morning stands no chance against him if he's just fucking weathering this storm.
Not even getting up.
Eyes dead forward.
Got the feedback on that one.
Robbie's running.
Where the hell's Robbie going?
The hell?
The hell's going on?
They're onto us.
Robbie just threw a bunch into the studio.
What studio?
Into...
In there.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
It's annoying as fuck.
Yo, turn that off.
It's pissing me off.
Seriously.
Turn that shit off.
Yeah, come on.
I got one behind him when he leaned forward.
There are also, by the way, the other ones are just going off in there.
They're just behind the cushions going off.
He won't do anything.
He's just in his phone.
I think I can get him.
There's one, but he leaned forward, and I put one, like, behind him.
So let's see.
Hold on.
Go back to it.
I think it's five.
You're only in three. like behind him. So let's see. Hold on. Go back to it. I think it's five. Oh, yeah.
That's the one.
That's the one.
He just checked the top of his head.
No, it's behind him.
It's underneath his body.
Oh, no.
Oh, I think he got it.
Shit.
Fuck.
Because Meek Phil is helping him.
That's an unlikely duo that I love.
Good one.
Yeah, great duo.
It's just beeping so loud out in the office right now.
Can we add Tank to the Le Bernardin wheel?
Oh, I don't know about that.
You can take my spot.
I don't like French.
Frank, lunch would be a good idea. There's so many behind these cushions.
What number is that?
Can you zoom in?
Shit.
Oh, there it is.
Oh, we're in a game of chicken.
Look, I'm turning on. He's turning it off. All right, let it is. Oh, we're in a game of chicken. Look, I'm turning it on, he's turning it off.
All right, let it go for a second.
And I think Arya is sneakily putting more back in there.
For a guy that gets frustrated at the most benign things,
he's so locked in.
What angle is he at right now?
He's sitting sideways.
Oh, I think I got
another one underneath him.
Oh, no.
Oh, shit.
He's got two.
This is going to be
the worst podcast episode ever.
Until probably tomorrow.
Yeah.
Seems like his face has turned, though.
Could be a little anger now.
Yeah, we're in a standoff.
I keep turning it on and he keeps turning it off.
Oh, he's getting annoyed.
Look at the little click.
You could easily throw him out of the room or put him somewhere else, though.
Oh, it's Pisces.
Look at him.
It's just a broken man he'd be a great dad you know
just patient
you think what he's complaining about
is completely different than what's going on right now
yeah
pitch count
turning it up
Frank is beating me
yeah he's won
fuck
he could just withstand
he really can
he's just a rock in the ocean
He's gonna love these things
Fuck
Alright
This is a waste of money
No it wasn't
It has already paid back
In the amount of subscribers
We've undoubtedly got
If you're watching the show
And you're not subscribed
After that shit
Just subscribe now
Buy some merch
I can be fully transparent
When I know that I've wasted
Time and money And I've wasted time and money,
and I've done both today.
I don't think you have, brother.
I think this has been fulfilling.
Until the roller skates get here.
The roller skates, you're going to bust your ass.
I'll be awesome to watch.
Do you hear him going off, Sass?
What's your favorite TV catchphrase, Brandon?
Oh, right.
I don't know.
Oh, what you talking about, Willis?
That's a good one.
That's an original one.
What did Urkel say?
What's wrong with that one?
Did I do that?
Jesus Christ.
Did I do that?
And did somebody say cheese?
That's another one he had?
Yep.
He would pop in the room anytime someone said cheese.
I like when they would tell him to go home.
I don't have to take this.
I'm going home. That was how he sounds.
Stefan Urkel. Yeah.
That one he was cool. Great show.
I remember the episode where he
kisses Laura and she gets pregnant.
And for a long time I thought
What is he doing now?
Not doing that.
Stefan, he's like a hot guy now.
He turned out very hot.
Muscular.
He's kind of buff.
Whatever happened to Laura? She disappeared.
Kelly Shania Williams?
A lot of people from big sitcoms don't get anything after that.
Original Val Johnson's back in commercials.
So you're wrong.
I don't know where
Marie Joe Payton France is
That's a lot of names
Works work though
If you have such a famous character
It's hard to ever drop that character
Who knows where Thelma Hopkins is
Nobody really knows
Bryson McClure? Don't know
John Krasinski has to direct
And he plays fucking Jack Ryan
It's like come on man What is Jim doing? Daniel Radcliffe just has to direct. Yeah. And he plays fucking Jack Ryan. It's like, come on, man.
What is Jim doing?
God damn it, Wolf.
Daniel Radcliffe just has to show his cock on stage.
Is Eddie Darius something?
Fucking Rainn Wilson.
He's not in anything.
He's like full-blown wacko, right?
What?
Yeah, he's a little bit of a wackadoo.
Did he change his name to protest climate change?
Or did he change his name to Rainn Climate Change or something?
That was a joke.
Was it?
Well, still wackadoodle.
Fucking wacko.
That was a joke?
I should have known that.
He jokes a lot.
Darius something was Eddie's name.
It's shocking we haven't added like name change to the wheel.
It'll name change.
Waldo, Waldo, Waldo was.
Well, Carter Huffman.
Sean something. Trevor Maldonado. to the wheel. Waldo was Carter Huffman.
Trevor Maldonado.
I need to change my name.
I still have. I got divorced like seven years ago.
What the fuck is your last name?
It's not what you all think it is.
Wait, what?
What the fuck?
Why are you getting so embarrassed?
I don't know. But my email name, that's not my last name. That I know your last name. Why are you getting so embarrassed? I don't know.
But my email name, all that, that's not my last name.
That's not your last name?
No.
So your driver's license is just not your last name?
Correct.
Seven years?
I know.
You don't know your name.
No.
I thought your last name was Barstool.
It is.
Yeah.
That would be better than what I have.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
It's gotten in the way.
Time just really got away from me.
Seven years.
Seven years.
Most people, when they get divorced, are like, all right, I want to full clean from this.
Yeah, I did.
I thought you could just kind of double down.
Just like, while I'm here with the attorney, I'm going to change my name.
No, it's not that simple.
I don't want you to die, but it would be funny if you did, and that was the name.
Everyone would be like, where's Kate been?
It's like, no, that's not her.
I know.
Well, then, when I got pregnant, I was like, I better do it now.
But then I was like, I'll give him Pat's last name.
Oh, so your, so Ash's birth certificate has your name wrong.
No, oh my God, yes.
It has your old name, yeah.
Oh, is my name on there?
Yeah.
Yes.
And is it your legal name?
Oh, no.
No, it's the other, it's my old name.
Oh, no. Oh, no. No, it's the other. It's my old name. Oh, no.
Oh, I didn't think about that.
So I got to put that on the wheel because I got to do it anyway.
Wow.
I keep meaning to every year.
I'm like, this is the year I figure it out.
I'm not putting things on the wheel.
Just do it.
For seven years?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't want there to be a chance that I do it instead of you.
You got to be the one that does it.
I got divorced in like 2016.
Oh, my God.
18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 27.
Seven years.
You've just been like, all right, guys.
He would probably, if he knew that, he'd probably be like, what the fuck?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm going to piss.
We don't know your name.
Yes.
You've got to send him the birth certificate.
It's yours.
Yeah.
Surprise.
I've got to go. I like the eyes of the law. Does he yours. Yeah. Surprise. I got to go.
I like the eyes of the law.
Does he have another son?
No.
I don't know.
Yeah, no, I don't think so.
I don't think that's how that works.
It's one of those things that seems to be.
He's in no way a pet parent.
Yeah, he has more right to your son than you.
I find out the hard way.
I'm here for what's mine.
A boy.
I don't want you to change it.
I think that's funny.
Well, so then,
when I started working at Barstool,
I feel like it made it
a little more difficult
to find me, find me,
if anybody was really looking for me
because nobody really knows
what my real last name is.
Is it cool?
Kind of, yeah.
I think so.
You guys will never know.
Is it ethnic?
A little bit.
What?
Wait, wait.
Are you saying that the one with the M.
Yeah.
That is your ex-husband's last name?
No, no.
That's the family name.
That's the family name.
Okay.
We all know that.
No, I don't.
Kate, I don't know the other one.
We don't know the other one.
That's not my legal name.
The one that you know is my legal name.
We don't know your legal name.
Right.
We know your birth name.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But that one's also ethnic.
They're both pretty similar.
I got to get around to it.
How funny would it be if it was like Goldberg?
Or...
Alaska.
Yeah.
Nice little...
I got to get around to it.
Time for it.
Donnie has no business with his last name.
What if it was Upton?
Oh, my God. Might be. And that's why you haven't changed it. Time really. What if it was Upton? Donnie has no business with his last name. What if it was Upton? Oh, my God.
Might be.
And that's why you haven't changed it.
Might be.
Can you tell us off air?
Yeah.
Oh, it's nothing crazy.
Can you pass around your card right now?
I will say it's embarrassing when I'm with Pat and I go to check into a hotel and they're
like, last name.
And I always look at him like, sorry, I gave him my ex's name.
Yeah, that would kind of.
Yeah.
That's so funny.
I know.
It's fucked up.
That's how like, I hate doing technical, like car stuff, like updating paperwork, anything
with paperwork.
I agree with you there.
Sign up today.
I know.
I know.
Do it today.
I got to do it.
It's like the refunds.
If you need to fill out two different documents for a refund, I'm out.
I'm out.
It'll be a lot of money.
Going to the post office is too much for me.
I'm not going to.
My social security card, all that shit, come on.
Oh, it's the worst.
My passport, then, everything.
Every time I think about it, I'm like, what does it matter?
It doesn't matter.
Don't football players get their names changed recreationally?
Yeah.
Chad Otocinco just did it on a whim.
No, he legally changed his name.
Right, but he went through the whole process of a goof name.
Yeah.
Name change in New York City is $63.
Is it? I believe so.
Around $63. We all change our names?
I'd change mine. My dad would be so mad. We have the same
middle name. I'll change it.
Derulo.
Chosen Anderson?
What? Yuck.
You have to be a lot better than Robbie.
Why did he change it from Robbie
to Robbie? He's probably referencing the Frozen Chosen, the Korean War battle.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
A nod to America.
You know, you're not good enough to be chosen.
Was he the one that was fucking in the parking lot?
What was his draft pick?
Yeah.
Yeah, he was.
What was his draft pick?
Oh, I think it just sounded like an apartment.
Robbie Anderson, what was he drafted? I thought like six round or sounded like an apartment I'll be interested, what was he drafted?
I thought like six round or something
Like name?
No, yeah
He was a later, I feel like fourth
That's
You were picked
Short for a sketch
A lot of people were chosen before you
Undrafted
Undrafted?
He wasn't even chosen
He wasn't chosen
He can't be chosen
What the fuck?
He literally was not chosen. He wasn't chosen. He can't be chosen. What the fuck? He literally was not chosen.
Lying bastard.
His name on Instagram, I think, is like chosen1RA.
RA?
For Robbie Anderson.
Rear Admiral.
That was the best one.
He changed it.
Rear Admiral.
Like, went to a real press conference.
Like, Rear Admiral Barstool Sports.
All right, I got to go do the rundown.
All right, good show.
All right.
How many of these?
I'm actually, I'm out on these.
What?
Someone else take them.
I'm going to have to go collect them all.
You're not using them for the right reason.
No, you take them, Brandon.
You take them.
You take this.
I don't want them.
See?
It's a burden.
Where are they all? I don't know them. See? It's a burden. Where are they all?
I don't know.
We'll have to go find them.
I think a bunch of people took them.
I just hit Frank's again.
Hit them all.
Go back to Frank real quick.
Last thing.
Oh, he's still going.
Look, he's got it in his hand.
He did not give up.
He didn't even flinch.
Oh, yeah.
He's got some on the trigger.
Never seen Frank get less mad about something.
Look at him.
I'm hitting it.
It's bizarre.
And then he hits it.
And then he hits it.
He's so calm.
He might like it.
Yeah, it feels like a...
Comfort?
Interesting.
I'm surprised he didn't just fold it in his hand like origami.
Do you think he even knows that you're controlling it?
Do you think he's just like, this thing just keeps going on?
He's got to know now.
Oh, no, I was getting mad?
Okay.
Okay.
Water to drink, bottle to eat Alright
I'm gonna go find all these
Alright, good show
It's the act
It's the act It's your straws, yeah Starless day For a while It's the act. It's the act.
It's your straws, yeah, style, it's game for a while.
It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act.
Yeah, it's time to talk, shop, or do a Yankee pop. It's the act.
It's the act. It's the act.