The Yak - We're Absolutely HOOKED on Gic January | The Yak 1-3-24

Episode Date: January 3, 2024

Gotta bring him to the World Series of PokerYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.li...nk/barstoolyak

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, welcome in. It's the Yak Yo, welcome in It's the Yak Sponsored by Roback, roback.com Promo code yak, 20% off your first purchase Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts And fleeces
Starting point is 00:00:34 Roback.com, the most comfortable clothes In the world Go right now, r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com Use promo code yak Okay, boys We got a lot going on Yeah R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. Use promo code YAK. Okay. All right. Boys, we got a lot going on. Yeah. Busy day.
Starting point is 00:00:49 Yeah. So, TJ, if you could go picture in a picture real quick. For anyone who has not seen, I assume everyone has seen, our good friend Jerry is on hour 15 of trying to hit a hole in one. He's been here since 9 p.m. last night. What if that one just goes? That's a good shot. That's a good shot.
Starting point is 00:01:10 Great shot. Maybe next time. So he is struggling. He is mentally, physically drained. His hands are bleeding. He's asked us if we would help him because he's going to get an IV soon. I ordered him an IV. So when he gets the IV, we would
Starting point is 00:01:26 help him and take some guest shots. So I think we're going to do that at some point. Can you just keep him in picture, like small in our screen? Alright, TJ's going to have him small on the screen so people can see it. And please subscribe
Starting point is 00:01:42 to Jersey Jerry After Dark. He's going to die. Yeah, he is. Yep. Genuinely. Yeah, 15 hours. It's straight up failing. His back is going to be destroyed forever.
Starting point is 00:01:55 Someone said it's like he's played like 30 rounds of golf. Oh, my God. It's going to be what? Like a few car crashes? Yeah. Yeah. And I don't think his body is equipped to handle this I wonder how many calories he's burned
Starting point is 00:02:09 Oh, good question Probably a lot Yeah, he might be ripped after this And we have the magician here Yes, we have Dylan Snow, the magician Dylan Snow magic, at Dylan Snow magic So we have a lot going on Oh, is that good?
Starting point is 00:02:24 Oh, oh Oh oh oh my god close he has a chance to do something legendary yes he's been doing it for so long that he hits shots that are very close and he just immediately is like that's not going yeah he knows all of us are like oh shit oh shit oh shit he could be like a caddy now yeah so we're we're going to do Magic, Golf, and Yak. I also think Will and Taylor might show up at any moment because we're doing the pro football show. It's going to be a chaotic day. I'm very excited.
Starting point is 00:02:52 But, yes, Dylan has told us that he does know how to golf. Oh. So he – I'm saying if he – Once he does his magic, he's going to then go golf. This could be amazing. Wouldn't it be gangster? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:05 If he just – If I made this – If Would it be gangster? If I scored this hole? If I scored. And we also have our shirts. Should we show our shirts? We have the shirts. Are they in the store? Yeah, I believe so. Let me send you a link. Okay.
Starting point is 00:03:25 This is going to be... This might be one of our more chaotic. Here comes Mincy. Look at these. Oh, my God. Wouldn't it be gangster if we scored a shot and it's in the store now. One of the best shirts we've ever put up. I'd actually say the best. Oh, it's got a January tattoo.
Starting point is 00:03:42 A January tattoo. Will you send it to the chat so everyone can tweet that a... Oh, cool. A Jig January tattoo. Will you send it to... Will you send it to the chat so everyone can tweet that out? So, yeah. A shirt that's hard to explain, but once... I don't even think... No, don't even explain.
Starting point is 00:03:54 I don't think. I'd get it. I think we need to start a whole line of these. Yep. Wouldn't it be gangster if we scored a shot? So, Dylan has a lot. He's got a lot to live up to
Starting point is 00:04:08 he said he's aware of moro's performance yes he said he set the bar just right so i think he's i don't think he's nervous i think he's he's got something up his sleeve his biggest obstacle will be mints yes as always i really do want to see dylan just make this hole in one something really all i want something he teased me with is that he has a dangerous trick oh i would love to see a magician be aware of what we're doing this week and like by friday the guy coming in is a little too irrational with the confidence yeah he tries like crazy shit he's never tried before. Yeah. He's doing new tricks on me. Yeah, I need like reptiles in here. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:48 Loading us. Okay, so Dylan, go for it. Go for it. Yeah, Dylan, good to meet you, man. Good to meet you all. Thank you for having me. I appreciate it. We're going to start off, of course, with a card trick here.
Starting point is 00:05:02 Outfit explanation. Okay, we'll give him a shuffle. Thank you. We'll talk to him after A little card trick here. Outfit explanation. Okay. We'll give him a shuffle. I like this pants. Thank you. We'll talk to him after. Well, I'm just for you today. Wait, wait. Mincy, stand to the side.
Starting point is 00:05:10 Mincy, you're standing right in front of the camera. What we're going to do is I'm going to hand you the cards here for a second. Not that. What you're going to do is you're going to deal cards down just like this. Okay. And you're going to make four piles of these cards like that. All 13? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:29 Well, you can use all of them or you can stop whenever. You don't even have to put one at a time. You could put multiple cards down or whatever. Just go ahead. Yeah, free fall. Stop whenever you like. Just put cards. But they just gotta be the same amount on each other? It doesn't matter. We're just gonna see what happens here. You are a poker player. Look at that. Nice. Yeah, like I said, just stop merely whenever. Like I said, you can put more than one card down on them,
Starting point is 00:05:51 you can make it random. All good? Perfect, okay. What we're going to see now is if you made a pattern with these piles of cards, okay? We're gonna see if there's a pattern. We're gonna count these cards. One, two, three, four, five, six, 7, 8, 9 cards in this one.
Starting point is 00:06:07 Okay. It should be nine in each. Oh, let's see. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 cards there. That's crazy. And we got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 cards there. And we have one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine cards there as well. Okay. Nine, nine, nine. All right. In German, no, no, no. No. Right?
Starting point is 00:06:31 I've already seen six cards. There are six cards. Perfect. Now, the piles of cards we're not really going to care about right now. What we're actually caring about is the card on top of each pile here. Because, Mincy, you dealt down cards randomly. You stopped whenever you wanted. You didn't even use the whole deck, right?
Starting point is 00:06:47 16 cards left. 16 cards left. I'm not a mathematician. I'm a magician, so good job. This is crazy, though, that out of all these cards and of all the piles in this, you've managed to find... Oh! Oh, Mincy!
Starting point is 00:07:02 What? What? Mincy. You dog What? Mincy. You dog. Wow. I'm going to need you to come with me to play the World Series. Same as last time. Run it, run it.
Starting point is 00:07:12 Make sure we have Mincy's face on all the reactions. You can put those cards down here. I want Mincy to roll into World Series. Sorry. Guys, guys, guys, can we stop talking? What did you say, Mincy? I'm going to need him with me in the World Series. Have the magician.
Starting point is 00:07:28 Get your bracelet. Good job, Titus. That was a bad job by me hosting. I just want to make sure we all heard that. Here's a crazy thing, though, Mincy, about playing cards. Okay, now you've been around playing cards, I can see, right, being a poker player and stuff, right? Did you know that playing cards have some symbolism to them?
Starting point is 00:07:43 Yeah, a little bit. A little bit, right? Yeah. Now, if you think about it, though, there are two colors in a deck. There's red and black, right? Yes. Which means good and evil, day and night. Okay?
Starting point is 00:07:52 There are four suits in a deck. Like your pants? Yeah, kind of like my pants. Yeah. There are four suits in a deck, right? How many seasons are in a year? Four. Wait, I have a question.
Starting point is 00:08:02 Mitzi, which one's good and which one's evil, red or black? I'm guessing. Okay. All right, keep going. I'm guessing red is good. Keep going, keep going. Anywho, there are four seasons. No, black is good.
Starting point is 00:08:17 I'll clip it. You're in black when you're winning. Redemption. Yeah, black's good. Yep, yep, yep. All right. Here's the thing. There are four suits in the deck, which how many seasons are in a year?
Starting point is 00:08:28 Four. Four. There are 12 face cards in a deck of cards. How many months in a year? 12. See some symbolism so far, right? Sure. There are 13 cards in each suit, which is the number of moon cycles that we have for our moon,
Starting point is 00:08:42 which is like the half moon, crescent moon, that kind of stuff. I did not know that. There you go. Learn something new every day. And then, last but not least, if you take all the cards of their value and add them up, from ace being one to king being 13, you get 364. You throw in a joker, you get 365, the number of days in a year.
Starting point is 00:09:03 Isn't that crazy? So the jokers almost like the leap year thing? Yeah, yeah, you can think about that. Yeah, you can think of it that way. His face almost lagged. All the cards in the deck actually have a meaning to them, but to save you from going through all 52 cards here and time and stuff, I'm just going to go through the main ones here, the aces, okay?
Starting point is 00:09:20 So you have the ace of diamonds, which represents money, wealth, that kind of stuff, right? Then you have the ace of Diamonds, which represents money, wealth, that kind of stuff, right? Then you have the Ace of Clubs, which represents luck, or if you're a child, a puppy paw. So there you go. Then you have the Ace of Hearts, which represents love. Perfect, there you go. That's an easy one, right? And then you come down to the Ace of Spades.
Starting point is 00:09:41 Motorhead. Yeah, it actually is the death card. Oh, crazy, right? The Ace of Spades is Motorhead. Yeah, it actually is the death card. Oh. Crazy, right? The Ace of Spades is the death card. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, it's crazy. Kind of a heavy topic, right?
Starting point is 00:09:51 Now, fun fact, during the Vietnam War, the U.S. soldiers would put the ace on their helmet, and the Viet Cong saw that as a symbol of fear and death, so it would strike fear into them, and that's what kind of gave us the morale to win the war. Interesting. Lose the war? To win the war. Well well we didn't win all into bamboo no one won no one won no one won this um stick out your hand though mincy for me please it doesn't matter you're clean one perfect i want you to hold on to that ace of spades okay okay does that feel heavy to you at all by any chance no no it has more ink than the rest of the cards but but it is a death card, right?
Starting point is 00:10:26 So it has some weight to it, right? Sure. Sure? Perfect. If you say so. If I say so. We also have the luck card. Hold on to that luck card as well right there for me.
Starting point is 00:10:34 That does feel lighter. That feels lighter than that one. This does feel lighter. Crazy, right? Now, Mincy, it's not. The right hand is also stronger. That's fair. That's fair.
Starting point is 00:10:41 Now, it's selfish of me to give you the luck and death card and keep the love and money and wealth to myself, right? It's kind of selfish, we just met, right? I understand. So being a magician though, in our world, the ace of spades means change, right? So if I just snap between your hands like this, it activates the change of that ace of spades
Starting point is 00:11:01 where I have now luck and death. And you should have. Go ahead. Take a look in your hand and see. Whoa. What's in your hand? Whoa. Hey, now.
Starting point is 00:11:13 All right. Yep. I like this. All right. Still have questions. It's all good. Save all your questions to the end, though. Of the week.
Starting point is 00:11:22 Now, despite being symbolism and have those meanings, the aces are actually very, very infamous thieves. Did you know that? No. Yeah, they're very infamous thieves. So if you take the ace of diamonds, the ace of clubs, the ace of hearts, and the ace of spades. The ace of spades is the leader of the thieves, okay?
Starting point is 00:11:41 He waits there with the getaway card, okay? Now, this deck of cards is now a bank, okay? The first ace goes in, and he robs the bottom of the thieves, okay? He waits there with the getaway car, okay? Now this deck of cards is now a bank, okay? The first ace goes in and he robs the bottom of the bank. The next ace goes in, robs the middle of the bank, and of course the last one robs the top of the bank, right? Obviously the alarm goes off, right? The police show up, they storm the bottom of the bank, and that ace rushes to the top.
Starting point is 00:12:04 That ace waits for them in the getaway car now of course the okay they go like public enemy a little no I'm just saying so yeah we'll show you we'll show you the top card is the seven of spades right now the police run up to the second floor all right where the ace hears it and he rushes to the top where that ace waits as well for him, just like that. Okay. I think Mitzi could have a use for him. I'll let you get there, right?
Starting point is 00:12:30 Now we're down to one last ace here. Of course, the police go up to the last floor where that ace rushes to the top and waits for that ace to space as well. Okay. Aw, dang. Hey. Can we do the dangerous trick? I can do it. That's the last one. Okay. That's for a lot of people. Okay. Okay. Okay. Aw, dang. Hey. Can we do the dangerous trick? I can do it.
Starting point is 00:12:46 That's the last one. Okay, all right. That's for a lot of people. Okay, okay, okay. Now, being infamous thieves, though, do you know what they were before that? They used to be acrobats. They used to work in the circus. Okay.
Starting point is 00:12:58 And they're going to show you what they did. Circus went broke. Yeah, circus went broke. Yeah, exactly, right? Exactly, right? So here's the thing. You have the Ace of Diamonds, Ace of Clubs, Ace of Hearts, and the Ace of Sp exactly, right? Exactly, right? So here's the thing. You have the ace of diamonds, ace of clubs, ace of hearts, and the ace of spades, right? Now, this is what their little trick is.
Starting point is 00:13:09 You hold them like this, and you flip your deck like that, and you snap your fingers, and you can actually see that one of the aces flips itself over there, the ace of diamonds, right? We'll take it again. Instead of rotating it that way, we'll rotate it this way, snap, and now the ace of diamonds comes back, and the ace of clubs is flipped over just like that. Holy shit. This guy's good. Right?
Starting point is 00:13:29 Okay. Now instead of rotating it, if I just do this and rotate my wrist and snap, you see that the ace of clubs comes back and now the ace of hearts is flipped over. Last but not least, the ace of spades, if I just snap, that comes back and now the ace of spades is flipped over.
Starting point is 00:13:43 And in order to get that ace of spades back, if I just, did you hear that? I heard something. Yeah, you heard and now the ace of spades is flipped over and in order to get that ace of spades back if I just Did you hear that I heard something? Yeah, you heard something that the ace is all come back now like that Wow Alright, alright, that's fucking good. We'll even show the he's good with that Good using it's got a some sort of to which Thank you, you want to see one can do one more more out here yeah do you want more out here one more out there all right um mincy what you're going to do is you're going to take any card that you want preferably this one though but you can take any card that you want why did you say preferably that one you can take that one if you want you don't
Starting point is 00:14:17 know why why do you prefer that just make the trick better excuse me you take it i can't take that one because you said that makes it easy. You sure you don't want that one? We're going to take this one. All right. Make the trick difficult. I see. It's okay. I'm just kidding.
Starting point is 00:14:29 All right. Take it out. Show everybody. Make sure I won't see you except for the mirror over here. I dare you to hold it still. Okay? Try to hold it still, Mince.
Starting point is 00:14:38 Show it. All right. Got it. Got it. Mince, I'm going to go like this. You just say stop, okay? Just say stop. Stop. Right there. Got it. Got it. Mincy, I'm going to go like this. You just say stop, OK? Just say stop. Stop.
Starting point is 00:14:46 Right there. Put it back. Oh, he did it. Last glance at Mincy's card before it disappears and reappears inside the card box. OK. Just kidding. I'm not that good yet.
Starting point is 00:14:56 But that would be pretty cool, though, if I did, huh? Oh, this little shuffle. OK. I like that. I'll shuffle the cards up again. Now, Mincy, you selected that playing card, right? Completely at random. What if I told you that that card actually chose you?
Starting point is 00:15:13 Now you have a connection with that card. For example, if I snap my fingers and show you the top card, was this your card? No. No? How about this? You snap your fingers, though. And look, you can actually see your card now jumps to the top. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:15:25 Is this it? Now, I know what you're all thinking. There might be more of these four diamonds in the deck, right? Being a magician, I could be doing that. We're going to eliminate that. Mincy, take this marker. Sign your name on the face of that card for me, please. Not your face, the face of the card, please.
Starting point is 00:15:44 Actually, a good distinction. Yeah. Okay, good. Now, this is the only card please. That's a good distinction. Yeah. Okay, good. Now this is the only card in the deck that looks like that. There's no way you and I planned this before, right? Right. Perfect, we will take your card, Mincy, and we'll put it into the middle of the deck
Starting point is 00:15:55 just like that. Whenever you're ready, snap your fingers. And now your card's at the top. Snap your fingers again, and now your card's at the top. Snap your fingers again. And now your card's in the middle. Crazy, right? No, snap your fingers. He's showing. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:13 Snap your fingers again. Snap your fingers again. I'll show you now your card does jump to the top just like that. Okay. Now watch. We'll take your card here. And this time you're going to isolate it from the deck completely. Just push in your four diamonds, please.
Starting point is 00:16:26 Snap again. card here and this time you're going to isolate it from the deck completely just push in your four diamonds please he's good do you want to see the moment that four diamonds jumps to the top you want to see it okay we're gonna move to the camera so everybody can also see it as well. So come over here. I'll keep the four diamonds in view. We'll give the card a bend, okay? And do you all see that bend right there? You see the bend? You see the bend too?
Starting point is 00:16:56 Yes, definitely. Mincy, come a little bit closer to the deck. Whenever you're ready, snap your fingers. What? Take a look, snap your fingers. What? Take a look. Take a look. What the fuck? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:15 That was good. That's right. Going so. Very good. Great. Great. And here is. I don't know what the dangerous trick is.
Starting point is 00:17:23 Which way did you start? This way or this way? I'm a little nervous. That way. This way? Yeah. Who's shooting right now in the golf simulator? I think Ryan was up for a second.
Starting point is 00:17:31 I don't know who that is. No fouls. Hank. How do we follow you? Just Dylan Snow Magic. There you go. Dylan Snow Magic. Yep.
Starting point is 00:17:37 There you go. All right, so you got one last trick, the dangerous trick? Would you like me to come in there? Yes, please. Come in here. Dangerous trick. And then I want you to go shoot golf. Okay, all right.
Starting point is 00:17:48 And we'll yak while he shoots golf shots. You need to get him at the World Series of Poker, huh? Yeah. He's saying that. I'm unfortunately banned from poker, so I can't do that. Oh, you are? No, I'm just kidding. All right.
Starting point is 00:18:02 Okay. Would you like to see two things or one thing? It's up to you. Let's see the one thing because I want you to shoot some golf. Okay, all right. I'll do the danger one. I'll do the danger one. All right.
Starting point is 00:18:12 He magically hit one. When you say danger. Yeah, I'll show you. Is he a good spot, TJ, or does he need to change where he is? Am I good? I don't know. I can stand here. You wants to face us or whatever. You want to face the other way?
Starting point is 00:18:27 Can you go right here? Well, I'm going to use all of you anyways. I'm going to use four people, so I'm going to be moving around eventually. Okay, okay. If he's moving, that's fine. So in my magic career, I've performed with many different performers. I've performed with many different magicians here and there. But the one that stands out to me the most that I've performed with is sideshow performers.
Starting point is 00:18:45 I've dealt with that type of world of performing. And let me tell you, those people are a completely different breed of people. They do everything from sword swallowing, fire eating, walking on glass, eating glass, shoving things in their faces. It's absolutely crazy. I'm not a sideshow performer. I'm a magician, but I decided to take it upon myself to learn one sideshow stunt to kind of fit in with them a little bit when I do hang out with them. Now, I found out, though, every sideshow stunt has some childhood trauma. So this is mine to spark the, excuse me, interest of this effect. So when I was a wee magician, I was going fishing
Starting point is 00:19:23 with my grandpa in Fox Lake, and it would take me every weekend, and one day my parents said, hey, can we go with you? I said, sure, why not? So we all drove down to the pier, and I'm fishing, casting, releasing, casting, releasing, and one day I went back, and I went to go forward, and it wasn't going, and I heard a bunch of screaming, and I turned around, and I around I said oh that fish looks oddly like my dad and I hooked my dad right in the cheek yeah and that uh that scarred me for uh the rest of my life I didn't go fishing anymore after that um told my grandpa he said that's totally fine so uh yeah so years later though we're at a Christmas get togethertogether, and as a gift, my grandpa gave me this. Inside this little survival kit here, he gave me the fish hook that was hooked in my dad's cheek.
Starting point is 00:20:13 Oh, jeez. Just like that. Oh, my God. No, no, no. The fish hook. And I got this fish hook, and I had it for many years. And once I got involved with the sideshow performers, I decided to make it into a routine. So as you see, though, I have these strings attached to this, right? There are five strings total.
Starting point is 00:20:31 One of these strings is securely tied to the fish hook while the other four are just loosely on there. Now I'm going to tell you what I'm going to do before I do it. I'm going to put this fish hook in my mouth, go to four of you all, present the strings. You will pick one at random and pull the string as hard as you can.
Starting point is 00:20:53 I like this. In case this goes wrong, I trust you with this. If you see this piercing out my mouth, if you see me screaming and whining, come to my rescue with those, okay? All right.
Starting point is 00:21:09 Are you all ready? How often do you do this trick? Here we go. Okay. Bye. All right. How do I come to his rescue with this? Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:21:18 Okay, so he's put it in. Okay. Yeah, I'll pull. No. I'll pull. No. I'll pull. No. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 00:21:28 You got him, TJ? I pick a random one? Mm-hmm. As hard as I can? Mm-hmm. Oh, my gosh. Mm. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:21:38 What the fuck? Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:21:42 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:21:42 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:21:42 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:21:43 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:21:43 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:21:44 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay, give me a countdown. All right. All right. Tell me what three One one two three Yes, give me give me give me give me give me yeah, I want to pull out what a pool I want to pull. Okay. I didn't like that. Come on, Brandon. No, no, no, pass, pass. Brandon. You got it, you got it. You got to do it.
Starting point is 00:22:11 Trust your intuition, man. That was scary. Oh, man. He's shaking. My stomach just growled. One, two, three. Hold on, hold on, hold on. You throw up a one.
Starting point is 00:22:29 Mm-hmm. One, two, three. Pull. Have him do another. Thank you, sir. May I have another? Oh, my God. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:22:44 Yeah, Nick, let's go. Me? Yeah. Get over here. Oh fuck. Yeah? I don't like this at all. All right.
Starting point is 00:23:02 Somebody? Whenever you're ready. One, two, three. Oh, boy. Yeah, I'm ready. I'm ready. There's two left. I'm ready.
Starting point is 00:23:20 It's like Russian roulette. Okay. Yeah.lette. Okay. Yeah. No. Yeah. Yeah. This one. No, I want to do the other one.
Starting point is 00:23:38 Yeah, yeah. Oh, you're kidding. Okay, tell me when. Oh, no. One. Two. Oh! Oh, I feel like I can throw up.
Starting point is 00:23:58 Oh! Right. Oh, my God. What? That's incredible. That's incredible. We didn't even need those pliers anyway. Has that my God. What? That's incredible. Looks like we didn't even need those pliers anyway. Has that ever gone drastically wrong? I'm still talking, unfortunately.
Starting point is 00:24:10 Yeah, all right. So, Dylan, sit down for a second. How did you get into magic? That's a good question. Is that good? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, about when I was getting into it, my dad and I used to watch a TV show called Scam School,
Starting point is 00:24:29 hosted by Brian Bushwood, and they would teach you how to do bar bets and magic tricks, that kind of stuff. I was, you know, just dabbling in it, not really taking it seriously until I saw this one trick that stood out to me. So I grabbed the deck of cards, started following along with the TV and picked it up pretty quick. I showed my dad. He was in awe. Showed my mom, showed my sister, showed my dog. Everybody was all in awe. Took it to school, showed my friends at the lunch table. They were all freaking out. Then they asked me, what else can you do? And I was like, well, that's the only trick I knew so I took the weekend to go home and learn
Starting point is 00:25:08 learn magic and it's incredible became history ever since and what's with the outfit? you know is it pirate? I don't know I just went for like a carny magician look I wanted to go for I used to wear like the vest
Starting point is 00:25:24 the dress shirt the dress pants and like that's the typical look for a magician but I like to wear the vest, the dress shirt, the dress pants. That's the typical look for a magician, but I like to stand out a little bit and do my own thing. That fish hook act, I don't know many magicians that do it. Yeah, that was crazy. What's your social? Dylan Snow Magic. D-Y-L-A-N-S-N-O-W Magic. I love it.
Starting point is 00:25:43 It's on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube I have it. So, and you said you do know how to golf? I have golf, yeah. My grandma used to take me to driving ranges. I played a few holes here and there. I'm not, like, good good, but I know what to do. Okay. Do you want to, I mean, this is how you talk tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:26:01 I know. I saw the podcast yesterday, and was like but uh yeah well no you have a an ability now if you hit a hole in one yeah to beat everyone that's fair okay i mean i'll give it a shot i'll give it just go take some hacks all right all right well thank you yeah thank you so much dylan yes thank you amazing incredible job oh Magic week. Magic week's been great. It is blowing my mind. And mine. And Mincy's. Imagine you imagine
Starting point is 00:26:31 actually rolling up with him to the World Series. Mincy, I think you're doing a trick on Friday first, right? I was told I'm doing that. Yes, I'm still I had a club in high school and I actually taught kids how to do tricks and stuff, so if you ever want to Oh, wait, yes. I'm still. I had a club in high school, and I actually taught kids how to do tricks and stuff. So if you ever want to learn.
Starting point is 00:26:46 Okay, so. Oh, wait, yes. You got to learn a trick. Can you teach Mincy how to do the fish hook one? That would be awesome. Yeah. On Friday. You want to learn that one?
Starting point is 00:26:54 Yeah. I have some questions. I have that or a simple card trick you can learn. Okay, you'll learn. Yeah. Ask about it. I know. Yeah, we'll get some behind the scenes videos of us.
Starting point is 00:27:03 You teaching me. We can release Friday too. Yeah. That was good. That-the-scenes videos of us. You teaching me we can release Friday, too. Yeah. That was good. That was good? That was very good. That slight of hand could go a long way. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:13 All right, so Dylan. What's a practical use for that? If he does get a hold of one. I don't know if there's any fingering chicks, probably. Maybe. How many shots is Jerry on? I think 1,700, huh? Do you think Jerry's rooting for someone else to hit it or no
Starting point is 00:27:25 no no i think he is at this point i think he's trying to get his damn thing over but he has to redo it yeah but a hundred thousand people it gets him relief now i would i would in the moment be happy but then i would wake up tomorrow like this fucking guy just showed up on his first swing well rested yeah yeah yeah i mean this would be incredible if the magician hit a hole in one. Does he, did he say he golfs? Said he knows how. He says he knows what to do.
Starting point is 00:27:53 Huh. Yeah, we all know what to do. I don't know. I have a question. Wouldn't it be gangster if he sunk this hole in one? The knowing what to do is not the issue.
Starting point is 00:28:00 It's the doing. Oh, here he goes. Oh, the IV is getting put in right now, too? Is that what's happening? Oh, yeah. The IV. Oh, Jesus. What a collection of people right now.
Starting point is 00:28:18 These are the days where I'm like, yep, it's all coming together. This was your final vision. It was like we were watching one of those TikToks where they give you a video. You guys do it on anus with the video underneath. That was in real life. We were doing magic with a hole-in-one underneath. I didn't know which one to watch.
Starting point is 00:28:39 Oh, man. Imagine if he hits this. In those boots, too. They look like those old-school golf pants. They do. It's like Johnny Drama. Just keep us on sound, TJ. We'll yak over this. Oh.
Starting point is 00:29:02 First shot would be the most incredible moment. That's a good swing. Oh, bad shot. Would be the most incredible moment. That's a good swing. Bad shot, good swing. Oh, yeah. First shot. Oh, yeah, topped it. Keep going. Keep going.
Starting point is 00:29:15 I hope he didn't think he was only going to take one shot. No, no, no. Is that LaJuana Compton? Oh, yeah. It's the boys. What's up, boys? What's up? Come on.
Starting point is 00:29:28 Sit down. Have a seat. This is, yeah. What's up? Hey, boys. Come on. Sit down. Sit down.
Starting point is 00:29:41 This is everything we were just saying. It's just full chaos right now. We got magicians taking golf shots. There was an interesting energy in the air when you walked in. Yeah. Jerry's getting an IV. Yeah, I got him an IV. He needed one.
Starting point is 00:29:57 Just fluids? Nothing special? Yeah, he just needs the fluids because he's just – I don't think he's been drinking. Was your mustache that big last week? Maybe. I feel like it's gotten a lot bigger in a week think he's been drinking. Was your mustache that big last week? Maybe. I feel like it's gotten a lot bigger in a week. That's pretty cool.
Starting point is 00:30:09 That's a sign of vitality. For you to catch from Dave and the whole Michigan thing like that and to come back first time I see you and say a compliment like that, that means a lot, brother. Hey, I'm just saying what I see. Big mustache. You know what you all should do is next time Jerry needs an IV, you should get NAD put in it and don't tell him.
Starting point is 00:30:23 A what? NAD. What's that? NAD. What's that? NAD, it's like three letters that mean three big words. And it's like, it energizes a mitochondria of the cell. But while you're doing the IV,
Starting point is 00:30:34 you feel like you have the flu. Like you got a shit. Your heart is, your heart beats fast. You have a massive headache. Oh my God. You literally feel like you have the flu. Sounds terrible.
Starting point is 00:30:40 Yeah. It's like one of the best things you can do for yourself though. What's it used for? Internally, it feels like somebody's just slowly squeezing your heart. For an hour, hour and a half. Your nuts feel like they're going in your stomach.
Starting point is 00:30:51 It's awful. Why would you do that? What's the benefit? I don't know. I feel like Taylor. It sounds awful. I feel like Taylor would know more about this. Have you not done it? I've done it a few times, but I wasn't somebody who wanted to religiously do it.
Starting point is 00:31:07 But they did it with a goal in mind. What was the goal in mind? NAD is essentially the fountain of youth drug. It helps. The mitochondria is like the nucleus of your cell. It's the powerhouse of the cell. There you go. The powerhouse of the cell.
Starting point is 00:31:20 So what it does is it energizes that. And you have these things in your body. It's called telomeres. And telomeres is like this protective, let's say, just like a shoelace, like a plastic shoelace on the plastic part of your shoelace. Aglet. And as you get older, the shoelace goes away, and it exposes DNA like Alzheimer's and other cancers and some inflammation-type stuff. And what the idea is that NID doesn't stop the process, but it slows down the process of aging. Helps with a whole bunch of stuff.
Starting point is 00:31:47 I think Taylor was on the Epstein flight logs. That is a big thing right now. I might have been. Yeah? No, I don't remember that flight. That sounds awful. Yeah, you still haven't told us the benefit. I thought you were going to come out of it feeling great,
Starting point is 00:32:02 but it sounds like it's a long-term investment. Yeah, well, we asked what the benefits were. Given what you endure, I was expecting like, oh, dude, the benefits. Let me tell you. Yeah, you come out for a little bit. It's a lot. It's too expensive.
Starting point is 00:32:15 You have to do it all the time. If you're doing the IV, it hurts like hell. As soon as you turn the IV off, you feel better in 15 seconds. But do you feel back to what you felt? No, you feel better than you did. Okay, that's what I wanted to do. Energy is better. Conjunction is better.
Starting point is 00:32:28 We need that. Clarity is better. That was the part you should have said first. I was saying a whole bunch of the things. Yeah, but you just were like, you put an IV in and your body feels like it's going to explode. I just thought it'd be funny. You'll do it.
Starting point is 00:32:37 You do it and you're just like, fuck, I don't know if this is going to be worth it. Spin the wheel. How much is it? Probably if you do like, what is it, is at the highest one jesus 750 for 750 milligrams yeah yeah it's probably like a dollar a milligram jeez it's a bit of a deal all right there we go oh no oh no the last clip i saw he had like gospel music playing and he was like, like, thanking the Lord. That was at 2 a.m. Really?
Starting point is 00:33:07 I think so. Oh, no. Poor Jerry. He could die. I think they just full-timed Ryan also. Oh, congrats to Ryan. He's a great guy. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:16 Did they? Jerry just tweeted full-time. Oh. All right. Good job, Brandon. Thanks, Ryan. Yeah, I'm sure you guys are aware that the person out there protesting for a job. They've been there for about a week and a half.
Starting point is 00:33:30 Protest. Really? He gets here every day about 7 o'clock. Dylan, thank you, man. Appreciate it. See you, man. Great job. We do about 20 minutes of magic all week. I'm so bummed.
Starting point is 00:33:45 You're keeping promises. That's awesome. You're getting free lunch? You guys get lunch? Hey, Dylan. I don't know if you got a deck of cards in there, but I'd love to see one trick. Grab the pickle. I want to see one trick.
Starting point is 00:33:56 Yeah, he'll give you one. Got a soft spot for magicians, man. Yeah, I'm glad you said that. Magic week has been awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, I'm in the process of learning gimmicky tricks from my kids right now, and it's all time. All right, I'll just use this table then. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:09 If that's okay. Yeah, I'll go around. Okay. What was your name? Taylor. Taylor. Dylan. Nice to meet you.
Starting point is 00:34:18 Nice to meet you, Taylor. Nice to meet you. All right. Taylor, I'm going to have you take these cards, and you can shuffle them up any way you would like. Just so you can see, I'm not shuffling them in any order. Shuffle. That's a good shuffle.
Starting point is 00:34:35 Great shuffle. Good brain. Man needs to know how to shuffle. Yeah. I don't know how to shuffle cards. You don't know how to shuffle? It's a very – so do you do the big mix-up? I don't do any of it.
Starting point is 00:34:43 Oh, the big mix-up. Look at the faces of the cards. You do big mix-up. Well don't do any of the big guy faces of the cards You do big mix-up. Well. I know I'm different right any card You want just take out of there and put it face down on the table next to you Uh-huh Good I'll take the rest of the cards back Yeah, yeah, make sure yeah, I show everybody the card I turn around yeah, I'll take the rest of the cards back. All right. Should I show everybody else? Yeah, yeah. Make sure. Yeah, show everybody the card. Turn around, Joe. Yeah, I'll turn around.
Starting point is 00:35:08 Ah. Got it. Got it. Wait, wait, wait. Okay. Got it. Yep. All right.
Starting point is 00:35:15 Go put your card back right there for me, please. Okay. Good. Good. Got it. Now, you and I just met, right? We did. You seem happy about that No I'm just kidding
Starting point is 00:35:27 Would you say you're a pretty good liar Can you lie pretty good I try sometimes Tell them about when you said The PEDs and you were like Someone put it in my smoothie So you can lie pretty good, honestly. I guess so.
Starting point is 00:35:50 Okay. Nice. That's good. I knew you were good for this. I'm going to show you three cards, okay? My question to you is, is this your card? You're going to say no to all three. Whether you see your card or not, just say no.
Starting point is 00:36:02 Okay, so here we go. Here's the first one. Is this your card? No. No? Okay. We'll set that one down there. Is this your card or not, just say no. Okay, so here we go. Here's the first one. Is this your card? No. No? Okay, we'll set that one down there. Is this your card? No. Perfect. We'll set this one down there as well.
Starting point is 00:36:10 And is this your card? No. Perfect. And we'll set this one down there. So no, no, and no. And I actually believe you. I don't think any of these are your card. Because I know that the next card that I show you all will be yours.
Starting point is 00:36:22 Are you ready? I'm ready. Bam. No. Oh, you don't have to lie now. You can tell me the truth. That is not my card. Oh show you all will be yours. Are you ready? I'm ready. Bam. No. Oh, you don't have to lie now. You can tell me the truth. That is not my card. Oh, it's not?
Starting point is 00:36:28 No. You sure? Yes. No, I think this is. That is not my card. No, look, because you said no to this one, right, and I believed you. You said no to this one, and I believed you too.
Starting point is 00:36:42 Then you said no to this one, but you hesitated, but you said no to this one, and I believed you then you said no to this one but you hesitated but you said no to this one i believed you because i said that this was your card over here gotcha whoa i was nervous that was a great trick that was the okie doke trick i thought the thing though is that you might be a good liar which you did you kind of got me but the seven of hearts is even a better liar because if you just shake it, it actually turns into the ace of spades. God damn! Damn! That is
Starting point is 00:37:14 impressive, dude. Because your seven of hearts, right, was actually underneath this table the whole time. Ooh! Get ya! Get ya! Oh, man. That was good. Thank you, Dylan. No problem. Get ya Get ya Oh man Thank you Dylan Don't follow Dylan
Starting point is 00:37:30 Put his handle up there TJ Dude Magic Week rocks Yes that was awesome You see the guy yesterday too He was fucking insane He was making Mincy's brain explode Who's been better
Starting point is 00:37:44 They were both very different They were He was fucking insane. He was making Mincy's brain explode. Who's been better? They were both very different. Yeah. They were. He is really good with cards. The guy we had yesterday was like Oz the Mentalist. The guy yesterday was really good at half court shots. Really good at half court shots.
Starting point is 00:38:00 That was the coolest trick I've ever seen. Yeah. Yeah. He's a gangster. That guy. Magic Week is fun. Yeah. I'm excited for tomorrow magic is truly like the best yeah the mentalist thing is wild dude he had he had mincy draw colors on a paint on a he put a picture out that he drew of himself and he turned his back and mincy used he gave him
Starting point is 00:38:20 five markers all random colors and he said all, now draw in my left sock. Now draw in my shorts. And Mincy finished, and he turned around, and underneath all his clothes, he had exactly what Mincy drew. Oh, my God. It was nuts. Did you see the Sunday conversation? Yes. That was mind-blowing. Yes.
Starting point is 00:38:38 Yeah. I wonder what has to happen to you as a kid to get into that. Bullied? Oh, yeah. Probably some traumas. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, something happened for sure.
Starting point is 00:38:47 Mook, did you ever try magic? No. I probably would have suited you better. Yeah. I should probably be down that path. How's your knee by the way? I'm a fucking grown man with band-aids on my knee. You have band-aids on your knee?
Starting point is 00:39:02 You have boo-boo? Big boo-boo. I was bleeding all day. Oh, no. Oh, what happened? Did you miss? A stink bomb. Wait, where's the band-aid? I don't see it.
Starting point is 00:39:10 Fuck. It was a really stinky stink bomb that ripped the flesh. Oh, this one's going to hurt. Why are you taking it off? Leave it on. Leave it on. Fuck on. We could see the wound.
Starting point is 00:39:20 It's a heavy-duty band-aid. No grown man should have a band-aid on his body. Nelly. That's true. Good point. Thank you. heavy duty band-aid. No grown man should have a band-aid on his body. Nelly. It's true. Good point. Thank you. Great point. Anyone else? No. I was putting band-aids on my stains, on my clothing stains and I tried to make that take off but it didn't
Starting point is 00:39:36 work. Like on like a white t-shirt? Wherever, yeah. And you put a band-aid on it. I think it looked cool, yeah. It does. It did, yeah. Trying to start a trend. Mm-hmm, yeah. Never caught on. That shit was a moan.
Starting point is 00:39:50 Bring it back. I'm trying to make that popular, too. Calling something a moan? That shit's a moan. Yeah. We tried to get book popular for a little bit. Yeah. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:40:00 Book. That shit's book. Fair play. It's by the rules. It's by the rules. That shit's book. That shit's book. I it's by the rules that shit's book that shit's i kind of like that you like book yeah all right i don't even know what that means like if you like playing basketball and it's not a foul you're like no that was book that was book
Starting point is 00:40:15 i like it oh congratulations by the way taylor oh Oh, my God, yes. Huge week. Yeah, that was, you know this, this is the first year of me being a fan of sports. Yeah. I hated every moment. Yeah. The whole time when Alabama went up,
Starting point is 00:40:36 I genuinely looked at my wife and I was like, I'm done being a fan of sports. It's over for me. I'm never coming back to this again. And then once they won, I was like, is this not the best? Yeah. What was better, that or Trump? Oh, I thought you meant. Probably uh i think you meant trump winning trump 2016 the trump stamp boys the trump was nuts was there any inclination that he you were on his radar at all so we met him this is what i'll tell you what happened and i'll tell you what i think
Starting point is 00:41:03 happened is we met him in july and then when we went you what happened, and I'll tell you what I think happened is we met him in July, and then when I went to the UFC a couple weeks ago, I said, what's up? Dana started talking to him, and then he turned around and talked to me about the podcast. That's what happened. What I think happened is I said, what's up to Dana, said hi to Trump, and then sat down, and then Dana told Trump, hey, that guy's got a podcast,
Starting point is 00:41:23 blah, blah, blah, blah, this, that, and the other, and then he turns around and gives me the's got a podcast bubble a ball this together and then gives me the great either way strong hands yeah i love your work yeah still cool yeah it was cool and the thing about him is is literally what you see on tv and you're just hoping to get the same guy you get the same exact guy like nothing pivots at all the first time we met him we got a photo with him and like the during like the after the main event and we're sitting there and will's talking to dana and i'm just standing like a fucking idiot next to trump i have no idea what to say to him a little bit like yo this is a president this is insane he just looks over me he goes you're doing great that was the and in my head i'm like fuck yeah i'm doing great really am oh you gotta just start
Starting point is 00:42:05 throwing that around to people like you're doing great you're doing great you're doing great i have no idea who the human is but yeah probably michigan winning yeah did you torture will no no how are you doing well you feel like that was tough for you because i was talking to taylor about it like i was actually weirdly rooting for mich because Dave had that bet and like that's more like a gambler's thing but I also don't have to do a podcast with Dave whereas you have to face Taylor head on yeah I mean I feel like as the years unfolded I was definitely waiting for Michigan to slip up and fall and fail and that would be funny like I would get a little bit of joy out of that but I like it was so established that they win that it's you know it's if anything you're just like what he gotta win they gotta win yeah because now they gotta finish the deal yeah as the game was
Starting point is 00:42:55 unfolding like i thought bama might just boat race them and then from the first snap when jj to the interception i just openly laughed i openly I was like, God, this could be bad quick. And then as they competed the entire game, you're kind of just like, I mean, they got – Michigan's tough. Yeah. They just block and tackle guys to death. Yeah, I mean, it was – like I said, it was super stressful to watch. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:18 But the day I went in there, I literally – when Alabama was winning in the fourth quarter, I thought, I just can't go to work tomorrow. Because I've been so nasty, and everybody else picked Alabama, and I literally couldn Alabama was winning in the fourth quarter I thought I just can't go to work tomorrow because I've been so nasty and everybody else picked Alabama and I literally couldn't say anything and then we won and instead of being nasty I just went in there everyone knew yeah we all knew but you got to also understand you got to think about a content sense losing will always get more views. People want to see us. They love us failing.
Starting point is 00:43:48 The best thing that can happen for your podcast is probably Michigan losing on the last second field goal. Yes. No, seriously. We're not kidding. The number one part of my take episode for like five years running was the double doink. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:00 Oh, my God. It was just like sickos just want to see you just suffer. Hey, I did see that clip from like week one when you're like the Bears suck. Same old thing. And then progressive throughout the season. It just goes back and forth. They're building something. Yeah, they are.
Starting point is 00:44:11 They're building something. Are you worried that it's hard to feel bad blood toward Washington? I feel like that's just – it's hard to get pumped up about a team that's like so unhatable. I feel like for me it was Alabama, big bad SEC. Everyone claims they're the best conference. That was, to me, the important win. But the hatred was important in this process, and now it's just like both teams are good.
Starting point is 00:44:39 Because they both have totally different skill sets. And that'll be interesting to see who's best on best works. And Pennix can throw it. Oh, he's so good. They both have totally different skill sets. And that'll be, like, just interesting to see who's best on best works. Yeah. And Pennix can throw it. Oh, he's so good. Wait, is he not the best quarterback ever? Not better than Caleb? Well, no, he.
Starting point is 00:44:53 He's a lefty. He doesn't have, like, the pro body that Caleb Williams has and all that stuff. He's 24, too. And he's 24. They don't like him old. That is old as fuck. It's old as fuck. He's got an ACL, too right a couple acls
Starting point is 00:45:06 yeah both legs and shoulder yeah and it's also hard to like when you see a hardball getting excited on the sideline like when they go to him after michigan makes like a you know they secure a sack or something you just see him like smiling but no it's not there yet like we got to keep going it's just like you get into kind of like yeah i kind of want to see him pull it off for a second but also how do i get how do i get the leg up to chirp taylor but then secretly you're like i mean you know it is what it is you need it's hard but hardball is like a fun coach i like hardball yeah so the hardball bears thing is over right because you guys are bringing the coach back he's going to to the Chargers. Yeah, I think he's going to go to the Chargers. Does that make you sad?
Starting point is 00:45:46 Oh, yeah. Very sad. I mean, Bears have been, you know. But Harbaugh would be the missing piece. Yeah, Harbaugh, yeah. He is the culture. He is. That's what you were saying earlier.
Starting point is 00:46:00 If you watch the semifinal games like Texas or Washington, something bad would happen. You see dudes palms up defense is all mad but like even the miscues with michigan you never saw dudes like pointing the finger yeah no you just tell those boys the culture is different over there right now he said i've told this story before but our friend sam schwarzenegger who played for stanford said that when harbaugh got there he he eliminated all traditions because he was like you guys are such. We have to figure out what makes you a loser. He's like, so we're just going to start over because I don't know why you're losers yet.
Starting point is 00:46:31 But I'll find out. And then he did. I need Harbaugh in my life, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Eliminate everything. Just change everything.
Starting point is 00:46:37 Start from the ground up. Harbaugh being your life coach would be. I'd like that. Fantastic. Start wearing khakis. I mean, the dude basically willed himself into the NFL. He drank so much milk that he used to steal extra milk when he was a kid. From where?
Starting point is 00:46:50 He told the story on our podcast. Oh, is that going in? Where is it? No. When he was a kid in school, he volunteered to be the assistant for the lunch lady because he realized that if he does that, he gets all the extra milk. So he would just chug milk when he was a kid because he was like, I want to be 6'3". My tummy couldn't take it.
Starting point is 00:47:13 His brother is in 6'3". No. Didn't drink enough milk. Not nearly enough. Yeah. He just drank milk to the end. Is there a big difference in size? Yeah, I'm pretty sure they're like five or six inches different.
Starting point is 00:47:26 Milk. Yeah. I feel like people don't fuck with milk anymore. We grew up in a milk era. Yeah. I thought there was a direct correlation. Milk has become success. Does a body good.
Starting point is 00:47:35 What happened to milk? It was the advertising game. They stopped doing the advertising. They got milk advertising, convinced everybody milk was good for you. In the 80s, it was milk does a body good, and then in the 90s, it was got milk with a mustache. Yeah, I remember that, but what happened? Then it all fell apart.
Starting point is 00:47:49 The advertising budget went away. I think we realized that milk doesn't do anything positive for the bone. It absolutely does. I thought it does, though, right? There's no way that that's true. Iron. Isn't there iron? Iron.
Starting point is 00:48:00 Calcium. But there's way more calcium in other foods. What other foods? And also cow's milk. They might have found out that it's foods. What other foods? And also like cow's milk. They might have found out that it's not. We're all lactose intolerant. The majority of milks aren't the best for you. But milk is a drink.
Starting point is 00:48:10 It's not a food. Does anybody know that? Cow's milk is not necessarily a good food. Milk is more of an ingredient now. Yeah. What about a milkshake? Is that food or a drink? Let's get some.
Starting point is 00:48:18 Is that pew? Pew poop. That milkshake is jizz. Pew poop. Pew poop is one of my favorites. Yeah. The food pyramid was another thing we were raised on. Peer poop. Peer poop was one of my favorites. The food pyramid was another thing we were raised on. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:29 The grains being at the bottom. Eat as much grain as possible. There were also just sweets on there at the top. Yeah, you gotta have your sweets. Gotta have your candy. Oh, fuck. That was the biggest bullshit. Can we see it, TJ? Just bread being the main part of your diet. Yeah, that food. That was the biggest bullshit. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:45 Can we see it, TJ? Just bread being the main part of your diet. With croissants. Yeah. Yeah, I got to have this with every meal. Not book. That was the least book. It wasn't book. What's the opposite of book?
Starting point is 00:48:57 You guys made up book. Yeah, but what's the opposite of book? The opposite of book? You got to really think about it. Yeah. DVD? Is DVD the opposite of book? You got to really think about it. Yeah. DVD? Is DVD the opposite of book? That's DVD.
Starting point is 00:49:10 DVD. I like that. Uh-huh. DVD is nice. Yeah, that's DVD. Don't fuck with that. No, no, no. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:20 They don't use this anymore, right? No shit. No shit. I think it's steps now. Six to 11 servings of bread, rice, and pasta. That's crazy. Yeah, then what's up at the top? It's just oil?
Starting point is 00:49:35 Fats and oil. Oil. Yeah, that's what you want none of. But now fats are good. Healthy fats are good. Yeah, they changed it all. I used to have milk with like every dinner. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:45 Every family dinner. Doesn't matter what we were eating, just milk. Yeah. Yeah. My mom still does. I think that's a white guy thing. Yeah. I couldn't do it.
Starting point is 00:49:54 I'd go to a friend's house and take bathroom breaks to like sip the sink. Yeah. Some families were only milk. Oh, yeah. That was my family. Yeah. My mom still like make a steak and like baked potato and a slice of bread and then a big-ass glass of milk. Big of milk?
Starting point is 00:50:11 It wasn't even a glass of milk. It was always a gray or off-red plastic cup that had bite marks on the top. Yeah, scratches. Do schools still do milk as their go-to? We had milk with our lunches. I think so. We had milk and chocolate milk. We had vanilla and chocolate milk.
Starting point is 00:50:27 We had vanilla milkshake milk. I'd stand in line and ask people if they wanted their chocolate milk. Get their extra chocolate milk. Did you guys ever fuck with strawberry milk? Not quite. Not quite. That's one I still go back to. DVD. Fire.
Starting point is 00:50:37 DVD. Nah, man. That's a book. Third period. That ain't a book. Strawberry milk ain't a book. Chocolate and vanilla are a book. The Silk Very Vanilla.
Starting point is 00:50:47 Oh, this one's going. Join in. I've never had the Silk Very Vanilla. Nesquik had a vanilla that was banger too. Vanilla milk. I liked banana milk. How about Yoo-Hoo's? I liked Yoo-Hoo's a lot.
Starting point is 00:51:01 That's just chocolate water, isn't it? Yeah, it's not even milk. It's water. What does the chat want? The Jerry chat wants you to sing the National Anthem for 1776 shots. Hard to beat. We could all sing it. Both chats are spamming it. We'll all sing it for him.
Starting point is 00:51:15 Yeah. You also just thought dudes were sickos if they did, like, pulp and orange juice? Yeah. I was late to the pulp game. Same. You arrived at the pulp game? Yeah. I started to know.
Starting point is 00:51:27 Not arrive, but drink it, tolerate it. Like, okay, if that's the only one, then I'll drink it. I thought pulp was for poor people because they couldn't filter it out enough. No, man. That's more stuff. I know, but that's what I'm saying. I was like, what the fuck is in your orange juice? Then it flipped.
Starting point is 00:51:40 I think extra pulp is more expensive. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. It's like you mature into pulp. The word pulp sucks. I hated sleeping over at the Skimmilk house. Oh, yeah. God, that was the most watery cereal.
Starting point is 00:51:54 You were the Skimmilk house? I was Skimmilk. What? And I thought it was awesome. I always thought vitamin D, as I got to college, I was drinking whole milk or vitamin D or what is it? Two and a half? Two percent.
Starting point is 00:52:04 Two percent. I always thought it tasted weird, but now I like, yeah, I understand that skim is the worst. Yeah. Skim milk and single ply. You go to that house. Oh,
Starting point is 00:52:14 Jesus Christ. You don't want to go to that house. Skim milk is a nasty two words paired together. Yeah. And even the chocolate milk we'd get, like we'd have to cut it. We'd have to cut it with chocolate and white milk
Starting point is 00:52:26 so that way we preserve the chocolate milk. You'd make it crack? My mom would get pissed. Stomp on it? We'd boil us an entire glass of chocolate milk. That's the poorest thing
Starting point is 00:52:33 I've ever heard. I've got to make this last. That's god damn it mom. Your milk had to have been like gray. I mean. Or beige. Yeah it was a lighter color.
Starting point is 00:52:41 Yeah. Still got what I wanted out of it. You know what I mean? You're a big boy. Yeah a big boy. We also for a period got duped into thinking that chocolate milk was like a great workout recovery oh yeah that was like hot for a second that might still be hot i just remember like in college college workout they were like chocolate milk go get it hurry yeah as if there was like a time crunch on chocolate. Yeah, they made us hurry. Yeah, you're legit rushing.
Starting point is 00:53:06 Mark, us. Finish the run. Yeah, we were. Yeah, us athletes. Yeah, we know what it's like. You might have to explain that to the rest of the board. Yeah, what? We had to hurry after our lifts and workouts to get that chocolate milk in us.
Starting point is 00:53:19 What is hurrying? Yeah. A brisk walk. What's workout? On the hop. You ever heard that phrase? I have. Classic on the hop. let's work out on the hop you ever heard that phrase i have classic on the hop get your chocolate milk on the hop brandon i got two dms of people thinking you have diabetes oh yeah that's been going on a lot i've been getting a lot of diabetes dms okay i'm just you
Starting point is 00:53:35 get a when you get your foot cut off do you pick which one or does it your body pick for you i think the body picks for you how many diabetes DMs will you get before you get worried? I'm fine. I'm losing weight. I'm good. When's your last diabetes? That's the workout I've been doing. What workout have you been doing?
Starting point is 00:53:53 You've just been having diarrhea. Googling diabetes. Okay. You've been working out? He's been having diarrhea. Get 30 push-ups in right now. You have diarrhea today? I could get 20.
Starting point is 00:54:01 Do you have diarrhea today? No, not yet. I've been fighting it, though. Wait, you could go? At any moment. Yeah. At any moment, diarrhea could happen. Yeah, that's going on.
Starting point is 00:54:11 We'll do it after. I'll give you 20 push-ups later. All right, fair. Okay. What's up with the diarrhea? What's going on? I've just been fighting it. See, we take a break.
Starting point is 00:54:19 When you take a week off of work or you're not here, then my whole schedule gets messed up. See, I used to have my anus trained that as soon as i wake up boom shit go to work but now now i'm shitting during the middle of the day when i wake up shit do you know because at home you just get off your schedule and i've been we've been home for 10 days and now i haven't really gotten i tried but it didn't work oh yeah you gotta get your cycle aligned again. I got to get my cycle aligned again. I'm in limbo right now. I'm in diarrhea limbo. That's the worst place to be.
Starting point is 00:54:50 It really is. Yeah. Yeah, I've been in gastrointestinal hell since Christmas, since the cheese. You cheesed up. It's taking a toll on my mind, my brain. You hear about the cheese? I need to start taking my gut health seriously. People have been saying it.
Starting point is 00:55:09 Just have a kombucha. I saw a clip about the cheese. Pick Taylor's brain, dude. He's on the gut health right now. Oh, yeah, because he's got the worms. He's got worms. That's right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:17 Right now? Breath test. We've got like two kinds. They're just going to work in there. They're just going crazy in there. They're going nuts. They're having a little party. Will you just take anything anybody says to you?
Starting point is 00:55:26 No. Used to. Oh, that worked out. No, I did, like, a bunch of blood tests, stool samples, breath tests, like, all this stuff. Breath tests? Yeah, it's a weird deal. Like, you wake up in the morning.
Starting point is 00:55:43 Before anything, you breathe into this thing, bottle it up. St up in the morning. Before anything you breathe into this thing. Bottle it up. Stinking ass morning air? And then you drink this thing. And then you go 20 minutes for like 2 hours. Every 20 minutes you do the breath test. And then you send it in. I got one more blood test to do. And then after that I'll
Starting point is 00:55:59 figure out a way to conquer these worms. So you can smell the worms on your breath? No, but every time I think of shit though I, I do kind of look in there extra deep. Yeah. I see all them boys just squirming around. What are you guys up to in there? Get out of there. See if I caught one lacking on the way down.
Starting point is 00:56:12 You named them? No, I got to see them to name them. Yeah. I got to figure out their personalities, what they're into. I can't just give a name out. Names are important. Are they Mexican worms?
Starting point is 00:56:21 Could be. Spent a lot of time in Cabo. Are we in Pedro? I see that. I like that. I do like that too. You got guy worms in you? Now we're giving them names without knowing the personalities. That's true.
Starting point is 00:56:32 Dude worms? What's a female name? Mexican would be a good guess. Juanita? Juanita. Sturgill Simpson song, if you guys are wondering. Huh. It's phenomenal.
Starting point is 00:56:43 We weren't. Yeah. When you named Stella, did you name Stella? Stella.. It's phenomenal. We weren't. Yeah. Yeah. Like when you named Stella, did you name Stella? Stella. You knew that was the name you were going to have? Yeah. Well, the dog names are really tough for girl dogs.
Starting point is 00:56:53 Mm-hmm. Like boy dogs, you can name them anything. Yeah. Name a boy dog, George. I think girl dogs are easy. Give us a girl dog name. Any girl. You can't name.
Starting point is 00:57:00 The girl's name ends with I-E. Katie. Molly. Lucy. Sissy. Yeah. You can't name. Marie.
Starting point is 00:57:05 I don't think Katie. You can't name it a Katie. Katie. I-E. Katie, Molly. Lucy, Sissy. You can't name. Marie. I don't think Katie. Katie. Katie. I've had multiple Maggie's, multiple Katie's. You have not had multiple Katie's. You've had multiple Maggie's. Multiple Maggie's. Multiple Katie's.
Starting point is 00:57:16 Think about guy names for dogs. Like if you're like, hey, that dog over there, that's Kevin. Richard. George. Like they all work. You can be like, that dog over there, that's Debra. I'm going to name a girl dog Jessica. No, see that Kevin. Richard. George. They all work. That dog over there, that's Debra. I'm going to name a girl dog Jessica. You're going to call her Jesse
Starting point is 00:57:29 after one day. You got to name her like a unique dog name. I feel like human names on dogs only work with boys. Yes, exactly. There's a dog named Amber. Girl dogs are usually named after sweet treats. Yeah. Biscuit. Like Bella. The sweetest treat.
Starting point is 00:57:45 My female dog, Waffle. That's good. Little food name. You like that name? Well, that's a bulldog, though. Bulldogs are easy. Bulldogs, you can name anything. That's funny. Exactly, yes. It's a cheat code with a bulldog.
Starting point is 00:58:00 We were walking her one day and ran into another bulldog. We're like, oh, what's this one's name? They're like, pancake. Waffle, yeah. Hot dog. That's a good bulldog. We were like walking her one day and ran into another bulldog. We're like, oh, what's this one's name? And they're like, Pancake. Yeah. Waffle, yeah. Hot dog. That's a good bulldog name. Phil. Yeah. Phil's a great bulldog. That's an incredible bulldog name. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:16 You can't be like, this is Ashley. My bulldog, Ashley. That's pretty funny. My bulldog, Ashley. He's thinking of the bulldog's face. He keeps thinking of Bulldog's face. Waffle's a great name. Yeah. What are your dogs' names?
Starting point is 00:58:29 I got Jake. See? He's a lab. Yeah. Bostred him. Great lab name. Let him go home. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:35 And then we have Smoke. That is a great lab name. Who is a girl dog, a girl husky dog. Okay. And then we got Akira, which Talon had since 18. And then there's one more great Pyrenees named Bear. That's a great name. Yeah, Bear's a great name.
Starting point is 00:58:48 He just watches the goats. You're a four-dog household? Dude, yeah. Literally last night, because I had two kids, and one of my kids is having a hard time going to sleep, and the dogs are kind of barking because I put them up while I put them away. We got chickens. We got goats.
Starting point is 00:59:01 We got bees. We got our own little farmstead going on. I just told my wife, they could go. I'm ready to get rid of a couple dogs. I'm not gonna. But that happens in every household when kids come and dogs become, dogs go down a peg. I hate the fact that I've turned into a bit of a grouch about animals. Because I used to be so animal forward, and now with my kids, I'm definitely becoming
Starting point is 00:59:23 like the grouchy dad at times. Yeah. And I can't I can't have that. I can't become that man. Put one down dude. Let's do it on the yak. Yeah. Spin the wheel. Put one down dude. Alright so we're all going to sing the national anthem for Jerry in a shot.
Starting point is 00:59:41 Is he currently the one shooting? Yeah. Can we get the rights free music with it. So the Star Spangled Banner? Yeah. There's no way there's rights on that. Now, do you have it memorized perfectly now? No.
Starting point is 00:59:54 Okay. I always fuck it up. Do you get nervous doing that still? Yeah. All right, Jerry, you ready? Take off your hat. Take off your hat, Jerry. Take a knee, Jerry.
Starting point is 01:00:05 Take a knee, Jerry. Take a knee, Jerry. Tell Jerry to take a knee. Tell him to take a knee and then we'll do it. Oh, he's got one shot left. Take off your hat, Jerry. Take off your hat. You have the music. You want to do a music background or no? Oh, Jerry. Take off your hat. You have the music. You want to do a music background or no?
Starting point is 01:00:28 Oh, yeah. Here we go. Say, can you see by the dawn's early light? What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming. Through the stripes and bright stars. Through the perilous fight. O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming? And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Starting point is 01:01:20 gave proof through the night That our flag was still there Oh, say does that star-spangled Banner yet wave O'er the land of the free And the home of the brave Come on, Jer! Come on, Jer! Do it for America!
Starting point is 01:02:00 Do it for Biden, Jerry! Nick, was the left hand a protest of some sort wait was it not supposed oh shit you did the left hand i i'm that's my i hate that rush i hate to call guys out but well do you know oh this could be it you know the national anthem do what do you know the national anthem yeah i screw up one or two words i yeah so maybe a word i just i feel like the first few lines you're well because we got behind the sticks in the ability there. Yeah, we did. I was trying to reset, but realized we weren't going that way.
Starting point is 01:02:28 All right. So I know it, but so I did it the first time I ever did it. I think I said through air or in air. I screwed it up, and a Navy veteran from World War II pulled me aside. He's like, you screwed that up. All right. So I'm just going to have the words up there. I don't really look at them But I'm just gonna have it there
Starting point is 01:02:45 Just in case I don't wanna fuck that up Old man World War 2 Beer Olympics I had My left hand on Did you get buried for that? Oh somebody told me afterwards
Starting point is 01:02:54 You gotta respect that You see Hank's looking for a beating At the Beer Olympics He's what? Going to Beer Olympics? Yeah But Hank's looking for a beating He uh He's looking for a beating.
Starting point is 01:03:07 He's rooting for Conor McGregor. Ooh. We pointed it out to him. We're like, Michael Chandler's one of the boys, and he's going to be at Beer Olympics. I was like, I'm rooting for Michael Chandler. And Hank was like, nah, I want Conor. Wow. Oh, what?
Starting point is 01:03:20 Oh! Oh. Damn it. Ten toes down, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The sad that Will and I were talking about this a little bit, like, obviously! Oh. Damn it. Ten toes down, huh? Yeah. Yeah. The sad that Will and I were talking about this a little bit, like, obviously we want Mike to win.
Starting point is 01:03:32 But I got into UFC. I started getting into UFC when Conor McGregor was, like, becoming that prolific guy. He brought so many people to that sport. Yeah. The first time I went to Vegas to watch a UFC fight, Richie Incognito of all people took me and I was like I've never seen a fight before he was like look up this guy Conor McGregor
Starting point is 01:03:50 that makes so much sense we went and saw it he's been watching it since day one surprising enough what's that? they're talking about Richie you're like surprising enough Richie Incognito yeah it kind of makes sense
Starting point is 01:04:04 Richie was like my best friend at, surprising enough, Richie Incognito. And they're like, yeah, it kind of makes sense. Richie was like my best friend at one point in life. Richie Incognito? The undercover boss? Was it at that point? Richie Incognito. Richie Incognito was the godfather of my firstborn child. What?
Starting point is 01:04:19 That's the true story. He lost that title. What do you mean at one point? You took it away? Yeah, I took it away. Why? How do you break that to a man? I tried to kill Will at my wedding. No.
Starting point is 01:04:28 He said you guys were good. He said we were good, but he did let me know. He said, you realize I can kill you, right? But I was like, yeah. He went to Nebraska. And he was like, loyalty. Brothers. Yeah, there was a bit of a mix-up.
Starting point is 01:04:41 He had a bit of a thing, a bit of a deal going on after the Miami. And he showed up to my wedding. Supposed to be a groomsman. Hair kind of all messed up. And it was a process. We had to kick him out of the wedding. Oh, shit. He told me he was going to shoot me.
Starting point is 01:04:56 Oh. So I was sitting at the altar kind of like, I might get shot. What a way to go. Wow. Yeah. But, yeah, he's healthy now. He's doing well from what I hear. We saw him last year at the Super Bowl.
Starting point is 01:05:10 Yeah. We've had Richie on a couple times we went to his house in uh arizona no in buffalo he he we when he was in with the bills we went to a game and he was like yeah let's do a pod after meet me in this lot and we'll go to my house and we went to the lot and we were there for like two and a half hours. And I was like, hey, Richie, what's up? He's like, oh, I never went to the lot. I'm at my house. I'm like, okay, cool. And then we went to his house.
Starting point is 01:05:31 Oh, I never went to the lot. Yeah, he's like, no, I never went there. Big boy. Eric Wood, yeah. Big boy. Strong. Intense. Yes.
Starting point is 01:05:38 He'll text me from time to time. Usually won't make a lot of sense. He's a fucking big, strong man. We got into it. I don't see what his We got into it after my wedding at Exos. The wedding that he threatened to shoot you at? Yeah, but he had a bit of a deal happen, and then he went and he got his stuff figured out a little bit. And then it was like right after that,
Starting point is 01:05:58 it was actually when I was suspended, big cat. And I went to Exos to train, and he was there. And then he was kind of chirping me, so I chirped him out. Is this when I came was there and then he was kind of chirping me so I chirped him back. This is when I came out and then I was kind of like weird. So yeah,
Starting point is 01:06:09 he started chirping me and then he's like, I just signed that contract and we were going back and forth and then I said something he didn't like. It was like a Pro Bowl joke you guys like.
Starting point is 01:06:17 Yeah. Who's got more or something. And the next day Will shows up and he like, Will, like Richie pulled Will to the side
Starting point is 01:06:23 and was like, just want you to know I don't mess with Taylor. His energy, his aura is off. He's like, but we're good. But we're good. All right. Love is worth it. It's all that matters.
Starting point is 01:06:33 He's got some Kenny powers in him, it sounds like. He is so athletic, so strong. So strong. So gifted. Such a gifted man. I mean, he played to, like, what, 36, 37? Yeah, and he was still playing at a Pro Bowl level. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:48 And just if it wasn't for a couple of things. He's a smart guy, too. Yeah. Heavy-handed. Yeah. Do you remember that? Yeah. He slapped you?
Starting point is 01:06:58 No, but he put his paws on me during the game, and there's some paws I remember. Who was more intense, him or Roger Saffold? Play-wise, Roger's got the better play, but Richie, I would rather, he's the last one I'd want to run into. He's got those paws on him. He's got the paws, bro. Sturdy, wide paws.
Starting point is 01:07:28 Not a whole lot getting around that. We were training one time and he like had 150s dumbbells and just repped him out for like 15 reps and what what what what lift okay that's yeah he's just crazy yeah he was so strong do you guys think jerry's ever gonna do this no i don't know. Yeah, so when does it stop? I don't know how you get it. 24 hours maybe? People are, I'm starting to get the tweets being like, you got to put an end to this, but I don't think you can. It's been 24 hours.
Starting point is 01:07:52 Not right now, but when will you think? 24 hours. Hey. I would like to see them. I think if we get to Friday afternoon, I'll stop. That's fair. And that's a good. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:01 You're a good man. That feels good. You think he could stay up until then? Let him sleep in the simulator. He could do it forever. He could sleep in the simulator. Yeah. A British YouTuber did it recently where he stayed on a par 3,
Starting point is 01:08:13 like a real outside, and he camped until he hit a hole-in-one. It took him five days. He hit it on his first shot of the fifth day. Wow. But he's only taking shots while the sun was up, so it's a little different. But he did make a hole-in-one on a fourth. Why is it in Japanese?
Starting point is 01:08:27 So we should get him a sleeping bag. He could sleep. Yeah. Maybe an air mattress. But he's got to stay live while he sleeps so people can watch him sleep. Yeah, they just have to cut the stream every 12 hours. Yeah. All right, so I'll offer him that.
Starting point is 01:08:41 Do people want someone else to take shots for him, or do they want him to keep doing it? If someone else hits it, they are going to flip. That chat is going to freak out. But I think it counts at this point because he's been doing it, and I told him that if someone else hits it, he's just going to have to do this challenge again. He agrees. When did he stop having fun?
Starting point is 01:09:02 I think probably like 4 in the morning. Yeah. That's still pretty. Yeah, he had fun for probably like seven hours that's a lot that's a lot of fun yeah you know what this was worth it i think it had to be staggering for him when the people that he saw yesterday all left went home and then showed back up yeah and he realized i've been doing we're going bathroom breaks we just put the but the only thing i'll say about it is oh you guys everyone's good yeah the one thing i'll say about it is... Oh, you guys, everyone's doing bathroom break? Go ahead, yeah. The one thing I'll say about it is it is addicting in the fact that you do think every shot is
Starting point is 01:09:30 going to be the shot. Yes. I think he's past that point. You think so? He is no comp. Has half the show ever taken a bathroom break at the same time? I don't know. That was kind of crazy.
Starting point is 01:09:39 Are they talking about us? That's what I always... My mind always goes to them. Oh, that... See, that was a great... That's a fantastic golf shot. That was a great shot. Within 10 feet.
Starting point is 01:09:47 It's so binary, though, because, like, you pretty much know right off of the tee if it's not going in. Unless it's going directly in. He hasn't really had one that I've seen. He said he got one within 10 feet. He got three two feet away. He's probably going to hit the pin on one that doesn't go in. Oh, my God. That would be devastating.
Starting point is 01:10:06 Yeah. You have one lipped out. It's crazy how many people have texted me about this stream. Like, a lot of people are watching and tuning in and being like, there's just no way he's going to do it. Like, professional golfers. For me, it's like he has to do it. There's no way he doesn't do right
Starting point is 01:10:26 right that many attempts yeah and he's gotten relatively close so many times what would like a brooks kepka so someone showed me that uh a regular person's odds of hitting a hole in one is 12 12 500 to one and then a professional golfer's odds of hitting a hole in one is 2500 to one okay but is it like on a par three though yeah parts but he's not here about that fairly often a regular dude hitting a hole in one yeah like once oh oh oh god oh my god nice approach oh yeah that's that hurts but like a lot it's hard to hit a better shot than that. Professional golfers have like, I think Brooks told us he has like 10 or 11 hole-in-ones in his career. Think about how much golf he's played.
Starting point is 01:11:14 Yeah. Steph Curry. How many does he have? He has one. Is that all? Two? He's also a great golfer. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 01:11:22 God. God. The IV, dude. God, I want it so bad. I want him to get it so bad just to be able to not have to do. That magician was good. It sucks that he had to go after Morrow. I mean, Morrow set the bar a little too high.
Starting point is 01:11:41 Because his card tricks were very good. Yeah. And the fish hook thing. I don't know how he did that. Neither do I. I have the sniffles, boys. I wanted to hook him. Sniffles?
Starting point is 01:11:54 Yeah. I wanted to hook him so bad. Trying to hook him. Were you? I wanted to hook him so bad. Would have been incredible if I hooked him. What did y'all talk about in the bathroom? Nothing, man.
Starting point is 01:12:04 That was bathroom talk. What happened y'all talk about in the bathroom? Nothing, man. That was bathroom talk. What happened? What's bathroom talk? Nick said growing up he was an unwrapped Christmas guy. Like he'd just go downstairs. I know. He thinks it's normal and ideal. That's crazy.
Starting point is 01:12:15 It is ideal. I was also. What? I didn't wrap my gifts. I'd come downstairs. They were set up. I was unwrapped guy too. It was always just sitting there waiting.
Starting point is 01:12:21 I mean, that sucks. I would go downstairs and start playing. My parents would make rocks. It's okay if that's your normal, but I'm just saying that sucks. I did that for my kids too. I was always just sitting there waiting. I mean, that sucks. I would go downstairs and start playing. It's okay if that's your normal, but I'm just saying that sucks. I did that for my kids too. Because there's nothing better than getting a small box that's actually a great gift. Yeah. Or like, say you get like the new Xbox or something like that
Starting point is 01:12:33 and it's wrapped like a box just sitting there. You got a bike sitting there. It's all overwhelming. There's a PlayStation 2 just sitting there looking at you. Looking right at you. Now envision this. You come down. There are a bunch of presents. You go, oh. Then you open the present.
Starting point is 01:12:47 It could be anything. It's even a boat. And it's a PlayStation 2. And you go, oh. That's two. I don't want two. I don't want two. You only get one.
Starting point is 01:12:55 You only need one. But you get to turn that corner and see it. No. No. The unwrapping is almost more essential than getting the gift itself. Yes. Correct. Correct.
Starting point is 01:13:03 That's book. You get the reaction. That's book. That's book. And that's book. Yeah, Unwrapped Gifts is DVD. So DVD. He is all over it right now, man.
Starting point is 01:13:14 I know. I think he's going to get it within the next 20 minutes, which I said five times. Maybe it is the IV. It'd be great. Now I think, is Mincy talking to him? Yeah. That's extra torture. I wonder what they're talking about. Oh, the video of Mincy talking to him? Yeah. That's extra torture.
Starting point is 01:13:25 I wonder what they're talking about. Oh, the video of Mincy with the guy telling him to stop the cards? Nothing. Lights are on, no one's home. Lights aren't on. Lights aren't on. It's dark. Yeah, Mincy couldn't figure out when he was supposed to be awed by the trick.
Starting point is 01:13:40 Yeah. Yeah. Did he drop acid like we told him to? He was off. He was catty. Was he awed right before he did the trick? Yeah. He. Did he drop acid like we told him to? He was like, he was off. He was catty. Was he odd right before he did the trick? Yeah. He gets odd by the shuffle. He gets odd
Starting point is 01:13:51 like he'll just be like, and now I'm going to guess your card. And Mitch is like, what? The guy was explaining math to him. What the fuck? He's like, there's 365 days in the year. There's 364 cards plus the Joker's 365. Mitch is like, wow, that's a hell of a trick i can't wait to get one of these shirts do we have some coming tj
Starting point is 01:14:13 i gotta tweet it out do we have some of those shirts coming uh i could check probably black or white i want want black. Yep. I want somebody to come in and just tell Mincy what they're going to do and never do it and see if he's shocked. It could happen. I'm going to steal your watch and they just leave it. What? I need to get you in Vegas. World Series poker. Do you think he's going to make that World Series?
Starting point is 01:14:44 Yeah. Oh, yeah. Anyone who has cards. Anyone who has cards. It's a must. World Series poker Do you think he's going to make that World Series Yeah Anyone who has cards Anyone who has cards, it's a must World Series poker You want to do the High Noon ad read, Nick? Yeah, even with my sniffles? Even with your sniffles Oh my
Starting point is 01:14:59 You both getting sick? No, I just had a cough The High Noon game Day Pack is back. Single cough? Limited edition fan faves, pear and cranberry, along with black cherry and grapefruit. It's made with real vodka, real juice, 100 calories, gluten-free, and no added sugar.
Starting point is 01:15:15 The High Noon Game Day Pack is a fall exclusive, which means it's here for a good time, but not a long time. You can visit highnoonspirits.com at home before your next tailgate to find a pack near you. Highnoonspirits.com at home uh before your next tailgate find a pack near you highnoonspirits.com delicious drink it's me after every sip you can't just cough these days anymore i know yeah i know china ruined coughing yeah china. China. China. China. What's next?
Starting point is 01:15:47 People are still testing for COVID. I might have it. Are they? What? Yeah, I've heard people. I'm like, what? It's just the flu. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:00 Will, you're down about Michigan, I can tell. I'm really not. I do. I wish they would have lost? Yeah, absolutely. But like watching the game, it was almost like the enjoyment of the year of the chirping is like, you know, just kind of led up to that point. Yeah. And then when they're playing well, it's like, I mean, that's –
Starting point is 01:16:19 They're good, yeah. What can you actually say? You know what I mean? But you want Washington to win. Yeah, I'm still going to pull for Washington. Yeah. But it's like if it's that weird spot like I enjoy Harbaugh. He's the best.
Starting point is 01:16:31 I hate that. I threw it out there. You don't like Harbaugh? How can you like Harbaugh? How many? He's so football. That's truly the best part. That is, honestly, Michigan winning, I would be fine with.
Starting point is 01:16:43 It's like the, the, yeah, the glorification of Jim Hart. Oh, he was a fucking dork that couldn't win a game. No. And then like somehow he faked COVID against Ohio state and he became the darling. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:55 And somehow Michigan is America's team, but it's also Michigan versus everybody. That makes no fucking sense. What's the logic? They only, how can you be Michigan versus everybody? Exactly. But then also everybody loves us because we're america's team calm down calm down doesn't
Starting point is 01:17:08 make any sense dave was saying that they're america's team i don't think at any point oh that's what they're that's what they're all saying how about is the best he sucks he's it's like a football guy you want to root for but at the same time like we still try to tell we still let taylor know that you know when they win if they win it'll be like an Astrid win. He's a goober. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's perfect. Right? He's a goober.
Starting point is 01:17:28 Exactly that. That's a great word to say. He's a quintessential goober. Human body, creeds, content. Mark's really attacking Harbaugh right now. He's a goober. He writes all his notes in Excel. I didn't say he's not a good football coach.
Starting point is 01:17:39 He's just like a goober. No. He's just – He's a goober, yeah. How many – 24, 7, 365 football. That's what you got to love. But that's like every coach. I threw out this hypothetical word. a goober no he's just he's a goop yeah how many four seven three sixty five football that's what you gotta love but that's like that's every coach i throw out this no will i throw this if they let if before the kickoff they're like coaches can play
Starting point is 01:17:56 how many snaps would harbaugh have taken at least kickoff yeah he would try you could just tell like like, on the screen. You've talked to him. You just see it in his eyes. He's not even caring what's happening. He says human body craves contact. You think he's a goober? Is that unique in football?
Starting point is 01:18:17 That's like 95% of coaches are that way. Coaches do ball. Hardball is strictly ball. The clip, he said he's like, all I've ever wanted to do was play football, then coach football, then die. He's like a coach about football. Yeah. It's the only thing.
Starting point is 01:18:33 It could be the season of hardball. Michigan wins. Yeah, no, like Michigan wins. Yeah, I just don't know what happened where like, I guess when you win, you're cool. Winning is cool. Maybe that's what it is. Hardball was a goober that couldn't win a big game forever at Michigan.
Starting point is 01:18:48 And then suddenly they win, so now he's cool. And that's the part that's confusing to me. It's the same guy. He's the same guy. Yeah, winning makes you cool. Having sleepovers with recruits and fucking taking a shirt off to play catch in the bat. All that shit is weird, but then you start winning, and everyone's like this guy's so cool it's usually how it happens yeah but he also he's been successful everywhere he's been everywhere except but he
Starting point is 01:19:12 hasn't broken through to the yeah i know but he's i mean i don't know he made him for the best he was almost fired at michigan well yeah when everybody was hating on him he still came from the nfl where he's been successful everywhere and so right then you're hating on him because he was at the top but he's not winning the big games but now that he's winning the big games you can kind of come back around it's like a whole cycle he also missed half the season for cheating scandals it's nice to see you
Starting point is 01:19:34 appreciating Harbaugh it's nice to see this side of Will Coffin it is kind of disgusting Brandon are you still on the train of Michigan's going to lose? No I've accepted my fate that's the worst I think the matchup is a great matchup for you guys I of Michigan's going to lose? No, I've accepted my fate. That's the worst. I think the matchup is a great matchup for you guys. I think you're going to run it down their throat, win by three touchdowns.
Starting point is 01:19:51 Congratulations to you. Congratulations to Dave Portnoy. Congratulations to the Michigan Wolverines. America's team. It's America's team. I have given in. You guys win. It's a big win.
Starting point is 01:20:03 To go back to what you were saying with images, because I've got to ignore that. To go back with images. It's so funny how when I was at Michigan, like 09 to 13, it was like Michigan was so lame. That's what, yeah. Public eye. But seeing the allegations, these kids not giving a fuck,
Starting point is 01:20:20 them playing hard, they're all for the boys. It's like Michigan is cool. I don't know that Michigan's cool. Who thinks Michigan's cool? Their helmets are cool. Michigan's cool. Michigan's not cool. Michigan is cool.
Starting point is 01:20:32 I don't know if I've used the word cool. Cool is not the right word. What do you mean? I mean it's not the right word. Washington's cool. Washington's really cool. Washington's cool as fuck. They're book.
Starting point is 01:20:41 Yeah, they are book. Well, how about the – Cool is just – What's the – Successful and cool are not the same thing. What's the read on JJ meditating and – Well, he Googled how to beat depression. Googling how to beat depression.
Starting point is 01:20:54 Is that cool? Because I said that he's Russell Wilson, and Russell Wilson's a goober. We're talking about JJ McCarthy and Russell Wilson together. Dan. Very similar. Well, so we have a – What's the difference? There's a couple sizes.
Starting point is 01:21:06 When he Googled how to cure depression, they showed that clip of him doing the yoga pose under the goalposts of Rose Bowl. We all in the room laughed and made fun of him, and then I realized I was sitting there with a Dairy Queen blizzard in my hand, betting way too much money on 18-year-old kids. I was like, yeah, this fucking kid's an idiot. I was like, well, he kind of has it figured out more than me. Did he say yoga pose?
Starting point is 01:21:33 He was sitting crisscross applesauce. I don't know. Is that yoga pose? I don't know what yoga is. He did that whole meditation. Yeah, yeah, meditation. Not yoga. Yoga, meditate, same thing.
Starting point is 01:21:42 Yoga and meditation, same thing. Michigan's cool. Michigan is not cool. Michigan's probably the coolestigan's cool it's for michigan is not cool michigan's probably the coolest no it's it's it's literally just that brandon it's if you win it's cool winning is great if not yeah yeah but attitude culture because would you when russell wilson's doing his pre-game routine he's a goober yeah but he's you're but it became you're eating the blizzard watching him do the pregame it's all the same thing
Starting point is 01:22:06 but when he was winning no one was calling him a goober yeah if you lose you just have to win it's like Nick Sirianni he's a fucking loser yes
Starting point is 01:22:13 Kirk Cousins chill if you win yeah he is he's a loser it's not cool do you do yoga
Starting point is 01:22:19 Kirk C is like a goober at times I'm saying like remember when he was doing like the 15 minute incremental day yoga knees he had to get rid of that because when you're losing you just look ridiculous wait hold on time out time out you do yoga horizontally He's like a goober at times. I'm saying like, remember when he was doing like the 15 minute incremental day? Yoga Nidra. He's like, I had to get rid of that
Starting point is 01:22:25 because when you're losing you just look ridiculous. Wait, hold on, tell me, tell me, tell me. You do yoga?
Starting point is 01:22:29 Horizontally, Yoga Nidra. It's like a, it's more breath work than yoga. What? He's onto something. Horizontally meaning?
Starting point is 01:22:36 It's lying down. Lay down. It's just a way to. Can you show us? I've done it before. It's boring. Okay. Breath work.
Starting point is 01:22:42 You on that 10X program? We're all on 10X. He's on something. Hell yes. You still been rocking all the Huberman stuff? Honestly, no. I was so obsessive over it that I don't even think I was enjoying life. I had to do this right.
Starting point is 01:23:01 I had to wake up, get the sunlight, do all this. I kind of just took some bits and pieces. I feel like you say that about everything that you get on. You eventually say, I wasn't enjoying life. He's a phase guy. He's a wrestler. Wrestlers are phase guys. We got to talk about Ferrari eventually.
Starting point is 01:23:19 You know AJ. Yeah, yeah. What happened? Oh, my God. What happened? He's finally back. He's going to sign with Iowa. Okay. He goes to an open tournament. He still has he still has eligibility oh yeah he only wrestled one season oh fuck took the last two
Starting point is 01:23:31 years off for a lot of issues oh complete hothead um sounds right goes to an open tournament is wrestling an iowa guy in the finals and beats him flips off the crowd while doing a split, and then maybe punches him. This all sounds wonderful. Which one is he? He's in the pattern. They're about to be teammates? Never fails.
Starting point is 01:23:57 Okay. Oh. That's a punch. They're just fighting. Flipped him off. And then look at this split move. This is to the crowd. In Iowa.
Starting point is 01:24:10 Complete villain. They're booing him. Oh, yeah. He gets disqualified and then he does. Oh, yeah, he loses the match, gets DQ'd. Why did he get DQ'd? For punching the guy? For making it interesting.
Starting point is 01:24:25 It is a weird move. The crowd, what? The crowd don't like AJ or something. This wasn't a college event either. This was just like a side tournament. Oh, yeah, there he is. He's running out there. Oh, I like that.
Starting point is 01:24:38 Wait, so is he not going to go to Iowa now? I think he still is. I don't like the move of trying to like fight someone after you just wrestled them like you just found out you bought him you were better than anyone yeah yeah you won you don't need to also then be like you want to fight it's a volatile cat he's a hothead but we need him we need to get eyeballs he's gonna be a wwe superstar right i like it i don't know. You're saying he's going to be great for the sport of wrestling. Of course. Everyone hates him.
Starting point is 01:25:09 AJ Ferrari. Oh, that's awesome. How old is he? And what were the things he went away for? A list of problems. Okay. Any really bad ones? Yes.
Starting point is 01:25:22 Oh. Oh, cool. Okay. So, yeah, he'll be in WWE. Yeah. Damn. But I almost shed a tear thinking about the NFL and how much it means to me now
Starting point is 01:25:33 and how much it almost saved my life this year and how excited I am for the playoffs. Shed a tear? We got to get you on a stream. No, not like that, but... Okay. I guess it is. It is sad when the NFL season ends.
Starting point is 01:25:47 But I'm so excited for the playoffs. Yeah, I am too. This group of teams in it, anything can happen. Anything can happen. God. Best sport in the world. Why you love sports? That is.
Starting point is 01:25:59 It is the best sport in the world. Who's the team that's going to cause the most damage in the playoffs? I feel like the Bills. That's the thing. I don't know. I best thing i don't know like the bills yeah who knows they might not even be in give me bills ramps ooh ramp not the ramps i'm an sb an lv that's that's a naughty thing i have my ravens future from uh august 18 to 1 i feel like every time i see you there's a future you're talking about how many ravens ravens i have the bills and the ravens that's it that's it that's a nice two to be sitting the ravens was before the season that i always add one in the middle of the season
Starting point is 01:26:36 so i had a bills and browns could be fun if you had the bills in the middle of the season i had them 35 to 1 before the Chiefs game. Wow. And they probably won't make the playoffs now. Why didn't you do a 1AFC, 1NFC? That was stupid of me. The NFC will win the Super Bowl. That's almost guaranteed. Almost guaranteed.
Starting point is 01:26:56 I don't know. Yeah. Was it guaranteed that Brock Party was going to tear his elbow in the NFC Championship game? That's a good point. Guaranteed. People stopped talking about that, how good the 49ers were. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:07 We were just talking about that, yeah? Yeah. Nuts. Just gone. We would have ate them up still. What is Jerry doing? Has he just stopped? I think something went.
Starting point is 01:27:18 They're either changing courses. Jerry looks so bad. What does Smoke do? They're just changing courses or something. Jerry, come here. Jerry. Oh, God. Jerry, come here. Jerry. Oh, God. Oh, he's so sad.
Starting point is 01:27:29 Oh, no. I want to know how bad his hands are fucked up. I think it's got to be horrible for his hips, his back. Yes. Every body part. Oh, how long does it take? Irreparable damage. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:41 Right in front of our very eyes. This is going to take a while. This is the struggle of a walk. But I was thinking, after a certain amount of hours or days, it's going to get recognition, national recognition. Jerry, give us just a quick update. Tell us what the vibes are. Tell us what the...
Starting point is 01:27:58 Vibes are low. Okay. Vibes are low. did the iv help iv help iv brought me back a little bit okay um we're changing the pin now to the front instead of the middle okay um lips are chapped yet to brush my teeth yet to shower um just tired. Not physically, like mentally tired. Yeah. The IV brought me back. Okay. So we were saying if you get to tonight and you still haven't hit it, you could just sleep in the simulator.
Starting point is 01:28:36 Yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm going to have to go to sleep at some point. Right. So we'll get you a sleeping bag and a pillow. Well, not yet. We're getting dialed in.
Starting point is 01:28:46 We're getting close. Oh, you think so? Well, not like maybe the front of the pen is going to help out more. You just missed one by like a foot. Yeah, we're not there, but we're figuring out some different things. What's the reaction going to be when you hit it? I don't got nothing in me really to react. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:29:04 What about if someone else does? Yeah, I think you. I'm happy if anybody hits it. the reaction gonna be when you hit it i don't got nothing in me really to react yeah just gonna be a what about if someone else does yeah i think i'm happy i'm happy if anybody hits it i think you i think you might i think you've gone so far now i think you gotta stop letting other people yeah i agree it's gotta be you i think it's gotta be you all right it's gotta be you because like it's it's such a story now yeah like all right if someone else hits it it it will be... Oh, my God. Jake Marsh, that was a great shot by Jake. Shut it down. Shut it down.
Starting point is 01:29:29 Shut it down. Shut it down. Jake! Jake! Stop. One more. It's got to be Jerry. One more.
Starting point is 01:29:34 One more, Jake. Jake Marsh hitting it. One more, Jake. I'm at the point where I'd be okay if he hits it right now. No, because I think it's got to be you. It's got to be you. It's got to be you. You were the chosen one. I'm worried about the fact that no one has ever done it.
Starting point is 01:29:51 That's really good. That's pretty good. Oh, no. Oh, too much. He's dialed. He's dialed. Stop him. Stop him.
Starting point is 01:29:56 Stop. X out. He missed that one by 30 yards. X out. All right, Cherry, it's got to be you. Just you. Yeah, it's fine. If you need breaks, take breaks, but it's got to be you.
Starting point is 01:30:04 Yeah. You're going to be such a fucking legend. I mean, you already got to be you. Just you. Yeah, it's fine. If you need breaks, take breaks, but it's got to be you. Yeah. You're going to be such a fucking legend. I mean, you already are, but when you hit this, it's the most legendary stream Barstool's ever done. Yeah, I know, but I feel like people are starting to get maybe a little annoyed that it's taken so long. Or do you think it's past the point of being? No, fuck them.
Starting point is 01:30:20 I think the longer it goes, the more people who aren't even understanding what's happening, they start to tune in. People in other countries. Oh, yeah. I have an America chant. It's like Truman Show shit. You're going to have the whole fucking world just like dialed in on you. Jerry, I have people text me from everywhere.
Starting point is 01:30:36 Like, I haven't talked to him in forever being like, he's never going to do it. Yeah, no. I'll do it. I want to do it before dinner time. That makes sense. Because I really want to go home. Just do it right now. Just go fucking do it. I want to do it before dinner time. That makes sense. Because I really want to go home. Just do it right now.
Starting point is 01:30:49 Just go fucking do it right now. Yeah, why don't you just do it right now? I'll do it now. Have you thought of some sort of punishment if you don't do it? No. I don't think that's the way out. When do you think your next golf shot will be after this? I'm sort of done. Done.
Starting point is 01:31:01 He's done. He's retired. All right. You made a great point, Dan, that 10,000 hours. Yeah. Jerry says that Jerry. He could be Tiger Woods by the end. Tiger Woods.
Starting point is 01:31:09 Yeah. On like two holes. People will be like Forrest Gump running. Everybody just joining in. Yeah, that's what I said. He's the Forrest Gump of America right now. Although Forrest Gump was American. He was from Alabama.
Starting point is 01:31:21 Yeah. He's got this. I think he's going to do it in the next 20 minutes. You've said that since 8 o'clock this morning? Seven or eight times. But it feels good every time I say it. No. Because it feels good. Why is 20 minutes the.
Starting point is 01:31:35 I don't know. Okay. It's just 20 minutes. It's a good lump. Yeah. He's going to do it before we end the act. I'll say that right now. Please don't say that.
Starting point is 01:31:43 Yeah. Come on, Jerry. He doesn't win the first one. This talk was all you needed. I don't know about this pin. I guess it's probably good. Oh! There we go, Jerry!
Starting point is 01:32:00 That would have been in the other pin. That's where the other one was. I was saying. he just needed it. There's been so many of those moments, though, where he's had to talk. He had one moment in the middle of the night where he prayed to God and then he hit it two feet away. It would have been incredible. Are we worried about the sustainability of Jerry After Dark as a brand?
Starting point is 01:32:24 Oh, for sure. I'm worried about my friend Jerry. I think they're Dark as a brand? Oh, for sure. I'm worried about my friend Jerry. I think they're going to kill him. Oh, for sure. He's put himself in a bad spot where he's just every Tuesday. He's got to be dreading Tuesdays. If he tries to end next week's stream at 1130, they're going to revolt. The chat runs his life.
Starting point is 01:32:42 Yeah. How is his relationship with the chat? It's not good. Not good. They runs his life. Yeah. Yeah. How is his relationship with the chat? It's not good. Not good. They run his life. They own him. That's tough. Oh.
Starting point is 01:32:50 Oh, where is it? Oh. Man, I want it so bad for him. Damn. You want to do the ad read, Mook, you said? Yeah. Joy mode? I'm going to do this one.
Starting point is 01:33:00 Joy mode? Oh, Mook, you got to do Joy mode. You got to Mook. Joy mode. We were told no jokes. Let's go. I love me some Joy mode. Whether you're happy or unhappy with your performance in the bedroom, why not perform even better?
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Starting point is 01:33:52 So I don't know about you, but I'll never go back to prescription or over-the-counter drugs after trying Joy Mode. Small enough to fit in your wallet and take with you on the go. It's the perfect travel companion. Go to usejoymode.com and get 20 off with code yak at checkout that's 20 off and free shipping with code yak at usejoymode.com j-o-y-m-o-d-e.com great sex solved naturally thanks mook no problem mook good job mo. Share a bad sexual experience that you had. I'm good. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:34:30 But if you did have one. If you did. What would it have been like? Think of one. What are the band-aids? Yeah. Band-aids. Quick. I'll say the word quick.
Starting point is 01:34:38 Quick's not bad. If you come, all matters is it's good for you. Yeah. Yeah. I still came. That is all that you. Yeah. Yeah. I still came. That is all that matters. Yeah. I had this conversation yesterday on the bracket, but what do you say?
Starting point is 01:34:52 We were talking about manners. Please and thank you. Do you say anything after sex? Yeah. Do you say thank you? Sorry. GGs? GGs, yes.
Starting point is 01:35:02 Sorry. You're just too hot. You're so hot. You did this That's why it only took 15 seconds Yeah It said I love you so much You say I love you
Starting point is 01:35:11 That shit was book That's what he's saying It's I came so fast I love you so much That pussy was That pussy was book That was fast huh
Starting point is 01:35:19 You're welcome Show us how much I fucking love you Ever seen Gone in 60 Seconds oh man you probably fuck fine no I have
Starting point is 01:35:29 terrible sex no I know I was just saying that to you I've had my worst sexual nobody's good at it no guy
Starting point is 01:35:37 no no SC is besides me oh yeah Steven Steven Lick hot sex
Starting point is 01:35:43 hot sex Steven has hot sex. My worst sexual experience before I even got to the sex, I had an asthma attack. Oh, no. Yeah. Cats. I guess that's better than during. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:35:59 Did you still have sex? No. I had to leave. Oh, God. Yeah, she was like, we should just be friends after this. I was like, sure. This wasn't about to lose virginity, was it? No. I had to leave. Oh, God. Yeah, she was like, we should just be friends after this. I was like, sure. This wasn't like about to lose virginity, was it? No.
Starting point is 01:36:10 Hell yeah. This was like a buildup with like a friend. Whoa. And I finally got there and just started hacking everywhere. Horse cough, sneezing in her face. No inhaler? No inhaler. Didn't have it on me
Starting point is 01:36:25 Now I carry it Is that anxiety induced? It was brought on by allergies Like dogs and cats If you were allergic to pussy But you're still attracted to it What do you do? Would you still fuck?
Starting point is 01:36:39 I'm allergic to pussy Yeah No, that's a good question Or would you just be abstinent your whole life? I think you fight through it Yeah, you got an Ep an epi pen yeah like a tolerance what's the severity wouldn't an allergic to be pussy just be gay no that's what i'm saying you still want you still have the desire you're still right you still get horned up when you watch porn it's like a dog and chocolate yeah yeah it's a dog dog wants the chocolate but it will kill him and then yeah you smell vagina and you start heaving heaving yeah
Starting point is 01:37:06 hives on your face it's a new a new yak tail does chocolate really call you too i think so you have to pick your shots imagine you just get like a reaction yeah yeah or you bring your boy that's allergic to pussy to meet your new girl and he doesn't sneeze at all? Oh, no. You think dogs and chocolate is a myth? I don't think it's a myth. I don't think it's as severe as they say. I don't think it's instant death. I think it might make them ill. I mean, getting a little tummy ache.
Starting point is 01:37:36 I was eating a little chocolate here and there. We had to get her stomach pumped once. She ate a whole box. Yeah, but like if we ate a whole box of chocolate, we'd have diarrhea for, you know. Anybody have a dog that died because of chocolate? I mean, Brandon's eaten a ton of chocolate. I was led to believe that dogs
Starting point is 01:37:51 lick a chocolate bar. Doesn't it make their heart go crazy? Stella once ate a whole box of chocolates. I got a box of chocolates for my wife Valentine's Day. Jerry? And she got home and the box of chocolates was empty and she said silla was just going like up and down huh hallway crazy so they'd go get her stomach pumped and
Starting point is 01:38:11 there was three other dogs it was valentine's day three other dogs were getting their stomach pumped at the same time so everyone's just eating chocolate wow so valentine's day is a big day for vince yeah it's a bad day for dogs it's chocolate around and grapes you're not a lot dogs aren't can't eat grapes yeah grapes that one's scary because the kids eat grapes yeah just be like keep those grapes on my dog i think grapes are great i think grapes are pretty that's like they could kill them yeah that's such a great food for a dog theoretically i know squash i know Theoretically I know Squish I know Toss it to him Waffle got it Onions Some weed one time Oh shit
Starting point is 01:38:47 And she was like Yeah I mean stoned Like paralyzed Like edibles She was just like stiff And couldn't like walk anywhere It was just shaking We had to take her in
Starting point is 01:38:55 And she had to get IVs For like 24 hours Damn She was fucked up Light weight Yeah she was She's that one friend Who smoked once
Starting point is 01:39:03 And was like I need to go to the hospital Yeah Can't bring him around Yeah Damn I wonder what a dog thinks When he gets high Like I
Starting point is 01:39:12 What kind of What kind of panic Sets in for that dog I don't know I don't know Cause I think about Waffle's like a high anxiety dog So she just got really like
Starting point is 01:39:21 Yeah just didn't move Like couldn't move basically In a good or a bad way in a in like a bad way yeah but like i get high i think about like oh shit like i gotta do my taxes soon or like i fucking i'm jealous of people that can function when they're high yeah just like yeah movies are funnier and i'm grown yeah right you're jealous of ron i'm so jealous of so jealous because ron i'll you know i when i first started at Barstow almost a year ago, we would go out on like the stairwell outside in New York,
Starting point is 01:39:48 and I'd want to be cool, so I'd smoke with him, and then he'd just be like writing jokes, and I'd be thinking about my death. Right. Thinking about how everyone else knows you're high. Yeah, like people are enjoying Funyuns, and I think I have a brain tumor. Yeah. It's not fair. I get super nostalgic
Starting point is 01:40:06 You get nostalgic? Me too Literally I was high the other night I think on New Year's Eve And I started listening to like An alternative rock playlist And came across Green Day Good Riddance Oh yeah you were treating nostalgia
Starting point is 01:40:19 Yeah I know You were treating nostalgia Then I started texting my boys Being like hey how you doing It makes me better at nostalgia I can smell decades old smells Yeah You're not treating us. Then I started texting my boys, being like, hey, how you doing? It makes me better at nostalgia. I can smell decades-old smells. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:40:32 Remember locked-away memories. Yeah. No, I forget to breathe. And I just eat. Fuck, I eat. Yeah. Green Day was the first CD I ever got. And I remember I played American Idiot in front of my mom, and she took it away from me right away. Oh, was that Green Day was the first CD I ever got And I remember I played American Idiot In front of my mom
Starting point is 01:40:46 And she took it away from me Right away Oh was that Green Day? You have to be careful with your Eminem CD Should we sing the National Anthem again Now that it's 1865? Oh my god Oh we don't have to
Starting point is 01:40:55 Brandon My first ringtone was Boulevard of Broken Dreams Yeah Ringtones What a song He's close But he's But he's not So far Not at all But he's not close I actually think now Yeah. Ringtones. What a song. He's close.
Starting point is 01:41:06 But he's not so far. Not at all. But he's not close. I actually think now that, yeah, I'm sticking with, I'm rooting for Friday. It would be so funny if it just was multiple days. It would become a movement. Yeah. I mean, if he's going to, like, Sunday. I don't think he can make it with that trajectory and that pin placement.
Starting point is 01:41:27 He didn't tell his girlfriend. He's hitting it too low. He said his girlfriend texted him and thought he died. I was like, you didn't tell her? He's like, I told her I was streaming. I think he thought that he was going to hit it within the first hour. Well, because I think he got a hole-in-one
Starting point is 01:41:41 on the very opening day. Yeah, on the practice mode. I don't know if the pin in the front is the pin yeah Brandon I think you're right his trajectory is wrong he's gonna run past it every time I love when Jerry tweets out his text to his girlfriend yeah that's pretty good
Starting point is 01:42:03 no she's very patient yeah that's when he's like when she's like hey you want to hang out and he's like i got a stream with ravioli and she's just like oh okay have fun no yeah this might not i don't know how i don't know if this pen's accessible that's so many golf shots he's gotta take a nap or something his body's gotta be so sore has he eaten i think he ate well if you found out some random guy was doing this challenge at what duration point would you be like oh i'm invested i'm gonna tune in i think three days i think a day i think right now just overnight i think once because you saw it like he
Starting point is 01:42:51 had like eight eight thousand or seven eight thousand people watching last night and then this morning it jumped to like 25 30 000 like people are very saying but they're sitting at work just being like he's's got to hit it. I saw some guy saying they took off work. I had a friend text me who said that he hasn't done anything. People are drinking to this? He hasn't done anything all day and everyone in his office is just watching his computer with him. Yeah. Just like huddled around.
Starting point is 01:43:21 He's taking a break. Sports bars are showing this all across the country yeah like at what point does it become like such a phenomenon that they would like
Starting point is 01:43:31 make a movie out of this a week two weeks you want two weeks I think a month gets him an in theater run of films yeah
Starting point is 01:43:40 a month imagine if it was a month. He just never left the office for a month. He's so beaten down. He's so beaten down. If he was doing this for a month, how long would you give him off? Day? Two? That's all you need.
Starting point is 01:44:02 I was going to say the rest of the year. He already took Thursday off. I don't know if that's – I mean, he's got to still make it. Yeah, I know. But he said that to me. He's like, I'm not coming into work tomorrow. I was like, well, that might not be the case. Depends on you.
Starting point is 01:44:13 He might not leave work. Yeah, he won't have to come in. I got to get him a sleeping bag. He's got to sleep right in the front of the simulator so people can watch him. I got a live stream for you if you want it. What do you mean? Tyreek Hill's house is on fire. What? Okay, let's see that. Whoa.
Starting point is 01:44:39 That's not good. Wait, is this in Florida? Get your bets in. Wow. Get your bets in. Did he get out? That is very much on fire. Tyreek anytime this week. That's a lock.
Starting point is 01:44:53 Damn. Shit. Goddamn. That sucks. Mook, you hit three anytime touchdown scores this weekend. Yeah. Now you got a guy. I met God.
Starting point is 01:45:04 I met God at Declan's Bar on Welsh Street. God gives you picks? Yep. Graces me whenever he has a feeling. I really want him to hit this while Tyree kills. Yeah, so we're all celebrating. How many things can we get up on the screen at once? Bring the magician back.
Starting point is 01:45:24 We should do celebrity name guesser oh my god hit that the denzel washington cut up that's so funny that we put out over the break yeah we got to bring that back maybe oh maybe that's my jerry after dark i do that with him celebrity guess Yeah. Sit and try to get it. Should we spin our wheel, TJ? This is never going to happen. No. Like, I keep doing other shows and then coming back hoping that it's happened and it hasn't happened.
Starting point is 01:45:57 Is it better to happen right now when everybody's here or at like 3 a.m. tonight? 3 a.m. would be funny. I think it would be nice if it was a crescendo. Everyone was standing around him. Yeah. Nick, I think we need you for a pro football show. What time?
Starting point is 01:46:11 At 2. Okay. Because Jerry's – Is he thinking Jerry's spot? Let me hear you out. No, hear me out. What about no swag? Oh.
Starting point is 01:46:19 He knows ball better than me. No swag. He knows ball better than me this year. I just love it more. There you go. But I still – I i think i don't know shit no i think he would do it better justice i just like to especially because of my sniff it's easy you don't have to do anything you don't have to talk if you don't want to i don't know yeah that seems not worth it for me though well you can talk a lot or you could like it's whatever i was
Starting point is 01:46:42 we're just probably trying to make you feel better. Like, hey, it's not that big of a lift. You could talk all the time. Yeah. We'll discuss. Yeah. We're discussing right now. The show's in ten minutes. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:46:55 Let's discuss. Let's circle back. Put a pen in. That's a cool cliffhanger, though. Who's it going to be on there? I'll text you. Yeah. You text me.
Starting point is 01:47:04 We'll text. Yeah, we'll text. You bet on every game? Not every game, but a lot. Most of the Sunday slates. You up? No. Unfortunately not. If you just
Starting point is 01:47:19 bet on the game itself and no parlay or anything, would you be up? No, I don't know. I don't have any knowledge or expertise. If you could bet on the game itself and no parlay or anything, would you be up? No, I don't know. I don't have any knowledge or expertise. It's all luck. It's all luck for everyone. I thought sports gambling was going to be so much easier.
Starting point is 01:47:35 It's not. And it ended up being so hard. And it ruins games. Ruins your time. I still love it. it's the best thing ever it makes you feel it's so much fun when the Wyoming money line hit
Starting point is 01:47:53 in the fourth quarter yeah it's except for if you take Stephen Chase picks it makes you want to he's always blowing kisses
Starting point is 01:48:01 0 for 7 in the last two days we've had a we've had a bad 2024. NBA 0 and 7. Please do. NBA is all I'm betting. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:48:13 I bet it a lot. You do? Yeah. You take every one of my basketball picks, which I appreciate. I don't force you to do that. You asked me that. I appreciate it. You've lost me $35,000 in the last two days.
Starting point is 01:48:24 Jesus, Jay. Holy shit. Oh, my God. Over time, are we up? I don't know. I just know the last two days. Thank God for Mr. Ice. Saving my ass.
Starting point is 01:48:38 I mean. Who's that? Are you following the unit recommendations? No, I don't follow the unit recommendations. Are you betting full units on the ladders? There's seven picks. I bet $5,000 on each pick. I'm down $35,000.
Starting point is 01:48:54 You bet the same on the second step? Yes. The first? Yes. I don't do ladders. Dude. Dude. Dude.
Starting point is 01:49:01 I don't do ladders. What's ladders? Dude. I'm just like, oh, do ladders. What's ladders? Dude. I'm just like, oh, do a unit on this and a half unit on this. I don't do ladders. Just bet it. Why are the unit and a half? No, I don't follow the rules.
Starting point is 01:49:16 Why are there unit recommendations? Because guys like me screw it up. The first step of the ladder is like an equal juice bet for the most part. The second step is like plus 200 or plus 150. So you're not putting a full unit on that. Yeah, because if those hit, that'd be sick. Yeah. See?
Starting point is 01:49:37 Figure it out, Che. Alright, I'm going to have to text you a separate graphic when I do ladders. What do you mean? You're going to text him his own graphic? What do you mean you're going to text me a separate graphic when I do ladders. What do you mean? You're going to text him his own graphic? What do you mean you're going to text me a separate graphic? That's a terrible thing. I do the ladders how I want to do them. I run up the ladder. He's disgusted with you right now.
Starting point is 01:49:56 I'm disgusted with him 0 and 7. It's a disgust off. It is a disgust off. You disgust me. Shay, are you disgusted with him right now? I'm disgusted with myself. Disgusting brothers. You better win tonight, Che.
Starting point is 01:50:11 I know. No, I don't think you know. No, I know. No, you don't know. How many picks? Probably one. That's $40,000 in loss. Or he gets you back to $30,000 in the loss. Or he gets you back to $30,000.
Starting point is 01:50:28 Maybe I should just put $35,000 on tonight's pick. And in fairness, I won six in a row before that. Speaking of basketball, are you beefing with Pat Bev? I guess so. I don't know where this came from. I just saw your tweet. What was the clip? Why is Pat Bev playing on Team New York?
Starting point is 01:50:44 I don't know. I felt like that seems pretty shocking to me, too. Yeah, I've never talked shit about, like, in all the talks about this hypothetical basketball game, I've never been like, yeah, if Pat Bev played for New York, who gives a fuck, I'll be able to score on him easy. I'm pretty sure Pat Bev would be better than all of us in basketball. I do. I don't. It gets interesting.
Starting point is 01:51:02 Would the NBA player be better than. Yeah, I think so. No Final Fours, no Chili's three for me. We get Antoine here. We get Antoine Walker here. No, yeah. If he's so good, why did he leave Arkansas, kick them off the team after two years?
Starting point is 01:51:19 Okay, so the beef is – I was there for four years at Ohio State. Yeah. That's a good spin zone right there. How many points did he score? You're really jumping in. Yeah. That's a good spin zone right there. How many points did you score? You're really jumping in. Nine. Nine?
Starting point is 01:51:28 They're a loud nine, though. Loud nine? Yeah, loud nine. Was it three for three? On the ones that went in, yeah. Oh, wow. Was it threes? All threes?
Starting point is 01:51:37 No, I never talked shit to Pat Bev at all. I don't know. And then someone just showed me the clip. Well, Roan is good at this. No, that's the thing. Roan didn't do anything. No, that's the thing. Roan didn't do anything. Oh, he didn't?
Starting point is 01:51:51 Roan just literally goes, yeah, the reason it's an interesting discussion is Chicago has this guy, Mark Titus, and he just immediately, like, literally just said my name. He wasn't like, this guy, Mark Titus, has been talking all this shit. He was like, they have this guy, Mark Titus. He's like, man, fuck Mark Titus. He doesn't, you know, he just goes nuts. He's like, set him off. They have a guy named Mark Titus.
Starting point is 01:52:03 Oh, fuck who they got. I was like, man, you're disrespecting me. I'm literally on the guard. Steph Curry, you're talking about have a guy named Mark Titus. Oh, fuck who they got. They disrespect me. Steph Curry, you talking about my mother's name, Mark Titus. Your name is disrespectful. That's what I'm saying, dude. That is the most disrespectful thing that's ever happened to me. He literally said my name and he just went bananas. He wasn't like this guy Mark Titus is talking a lot of shit.
Starting point is 01:52:22 He was like, this guy exists. And he was like, fuck him. He walked on an Ohio State. I'll go fuck him. Yeah. Belt to ass. Stop playing. Belt to ass.
Starting point is 01:52:34 Yeah, man. I like that. What was that? Give me a situation to use that in. That's a whooping. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what happened.
Starting point is 01:52:44 He was rattled, though. What just happened? Are you going to play with us when we play pickup on Friday? I'll play on Friday. All right. That was fun. That was fun the last time we played. We've got to figure it out, though, because there's like 25 people at play.
Starting point is 01:53:01 So we've got to. So you're having a breakdown? I don't know. Get it more organized. Should we fuck with Jerry? Should we mousetrap him? Either that or have him in here and somebody else take a shot and we act like it goes in.
Starting point is 01:53:13 Oh, yeah. Brandon, do that. No, no, no. I can't. I would if this weren't a Jerry stream. I'm already hated on the Jerry stream. Somebody else is. It's got to be Mook again.
Starting point is 01:53:22 And we got to get the office to celebrate with us. Yeah. He is down bad. Yeah, I feel bad for the guy. Just give him a nap. He's been up for 15 hours. Is he crying? He might be crying a little bit.
Starting point is 01:53:36 If you want to do that, I'll run upstairs and make sure they get involved upstairs. Hey. We can't. He's so down. He's down. He's tremendous. But this is when you strike. He's so down. He's down. He's tremendous. But this is when you strike. He's down so bad.
Starting point is 01:53:49 Do you want to make content, Dan? I mean, he's down so bad. I don't even think he'd react. I think he'd be happy. I think I know. He'd be happy, but then we found out it's not over. That would be the cruelest thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:54:00 Sure would. He's got to hit it himself you can't be like oh jerry did a two-day stream and fucking malicek hit a hole in one yeah that was never even entertained but someone else could do it for him we were just taking shots just to give him a break and then we threw it out there but now yeah i don't think and it would actually now be funnier if another person did hit a hole in one and he had to keep going. Yeah. Now I'm rooting for that.
Starting point is 01:54:31 All right, let's spin our wheel. Everyone go tune in to Jerry After Dark. We got another magician tomorrow. Who's coming tomorrow, Steven? We got a good one tomorrow? Oh, no. Tomorrow is Jake Bosman. Mate with no weight.
Starting point is 01:54:49 Damn it. Damn it. Jerry would have been on that wheel, too. He would have been on that wheel. Oh, fuck. What is he doing? He's looking at his hands. He's wearing four gloves.
Starting point is 01:55:06 This is sad. This is sad. Imagine what his joints feel like. His hips, his back. Everything. He's going to be sore for a week. He's putting the gloves back on. All right.
Starting point is 01:55:24 Well, Magic week continues tomorrow Maybe even this Maybe even Jerry after dark Continuing Will Taylor thank you guys Thank you boys As always Please subscribe
Starting point is 01:55:36 Go buy a shirt too Show the shirt again TJ Wouldn't it be gangster if we scored this shot That shirt's awesome It's a great shirt I just sent you guys a picture of our next shirt too Oh hell yes Alright see everyone tomorrow It's the act. Get your straws, yeah, silence, hey, for a while.
Starting point is 01:56:05 It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop. We're doing Yankee Swap. It's the act. It's the action Buy a shirt See you tomorrow
Starting point is 01:56:40 Oh wait there was a Somebody DM'd me about a birthday Uh Happy birthday Oh wait, there was somebody that DM'd me about a birthday. Happy birthday. Shout out to Keegan, the youngest Yak viewer on the internet. See you tomorrow. Bye.

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