The Yak - We're Forming a Secret Yak Society | The Yak 4-25-23
Episode Date: April 25, 2023One order of Ladybug Soup pleaseYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstooly...ak
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Happy birthday, bro.
Thank you, brother.
And thank you to Roback for making my life a possibility.
Yes.
Shout out to Roback.
Life started a long time ago with Roback.
Best fit, best feel, quality, comfort, et cetera.
Kyle and I are both wearing the Roback hoodie today.
Yep.
And I'll say, well, sorry, but before the show even started,
Nick and I were sitting here complimenting you on that color.
That was really weird.
It was weird.
It felt weird to say it.
Hey, you look good in that color. I know. You do. It's a cool color. You've never compliment. It was weird. It felt weird to say it. She looked up and said, hey, you look good in that color.
I know.
You do.
It's a cool color.
Never complimented me ever.
It's good with the khaki.
It's great with fun shoes.
The power of Roebuck.
Yeah.
The performance hoodies are the softest hoodies we own.
You got this.
You got this.
The color looks good on you.
You have coordination from your shoes to your pants to your shirt.
When paired with the performance joggers, it's not possible to your pants to your shirt. When paired with the Performance Joggers,
it's not possible to have a more comfortable combo.
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Get ready for spring with Rowback.
And that's a hard color to pull off.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't usually wear red, but I'm wearing it today and I feel good.
Most whites can't.
Uh-uh.
Really?
I can't.
Hmm.
Trying to think.
Pale women sometimes?
Like really pale women on the red carpet or some shit maybe?
I don't know my palette.
I'd love to have somebody in here and could.
The color styling.
They tell you whether you're winter or summer.
You wear black every day.
Every single day. But not aggressive whether you're winter or summer. You wear black every day. Every single day.
But not aggressive black.
It's not like...
What do you mean by that?
You're not like black head to toe, right?
You're not like some sort of gothic thing.
You just wear black t-shirts.
I wear black t-shirts.
I buy 20 packs of the Gildan.
They're good, though.
I think your coloring is great your color palette's great i feel like you're always wearing the appropriate tone what's your color palette
you're all over the place at all yeah yeah i can't wear reds and oranges you don't commit
to anything i can't wear reds oranges and yellows he's always he's always got a neutral on always a
lot of neutrals i keep it neutral nothing too royal about me. You're also all over the place.
I switch it up, yeah.
Black is my favorite for clothing.
I think it's the best for most people.
The best option.
You guys ever wear black in New York and then you go to another town and you're like,
oh, fuck, nobody else is wearing all black.
I like blue.
I guess you're right.
Yeah.
That he likes blue or that no one wears black other cities other
smaller towns they don't really wear black like that what are they rock black on black especially
especially like it's the same with honking your car horn like here it's no big deal and you do
it in a small town and everyone's like it's honking yeah it's stressful that is some bullshit what are you doing for your birthday yeah yeah uh
practicing gratitude nice damn yeah um from from 30 to 35 because i consider 25 to 30 to be a very
significant change for me what was that like for you um i think when you hit 30 your back starts
to hurt and then by 35 your back has just been, so you're just kind of used to it.
It's more it's all physical?
Not even, though.
I don't feel 35.
I didn't feel 29.
I'm talking about intellect, like mindset-wise.
Oh.
I think you kind of maybe rotate to being like,
damn, I don't really know what the fuck.
You become less like this pompous sureness of just being like,
I know what the fuck this shit is.
And like, I know how the world should be or whatever.
And it's kind of just a.
That's what I'm at now.
What?
Internalize it.
But yeah, that's what I'm.
You're just like, I know what the fuck is going on.
This should be like this.
And this should be like this.
And it's like, dude, I really don't know.
I've kind of come to a middle on it.
Yeah.
What do you think, Brandon? I'd like for you what do you think brandon i'd like for you to
really hit midlife i'd like for you to start talking about your money start talking about
money and wise decisions i'd like for you to join a country club i would like that shit too but i
don't want to talk about money but i would love to i don't know i feel like midlife crisis not
talk about money but every time you meet somebody new be like are you sure you're are you comfortable
where your money is and stuff like that talk about morgan stanley and dean witter and fucking yeah those guys edward
jones or whatever sure there was a ladybug in my soup today there was and i was like the best type
of bug to get your soup but you could tell it was in there for a while because it was like
it was definitely boiled it was with it didn't fly into the soup. It was made in the soup. It's 107.
You've had soup already?
I had soup for lunch.
Weird.
Did it take on the color of the soup?
It was a browner ladybug.
You could tell it was in there.
Oh, that's a male, right?
Or no, that's a female.
That could be a cooked female.
It was a cooked female.
Oh, God.
But am I a pussy for throwing my soup away? For what?
I threw all my soup away.
If it had just flown in.
I would have cut it out.
Yeah, but if it's cooked in there, no.
No, I wouldn't eat it.
Okay, so I went with Jeff D. Lowe.
He didn't have a ladybug in his soup,
but he threw his soup away.
That's a friend.
It was the same soup.
It was the same big bowl?
Yeah.
He threw it away.
I'm okay with that, too.
Now, the question is, do you order that soup again ever?
Well, it was Ladybug Soup.
I was pissed there was only one.
No, I don't know.
It's right across the street.
I love going there for the soup.
Supposed to be good luck, though, right?
Yeah.
Ladybug? Yeah. I'll going there for the soup. Supposed to be good luck, though, right? Yeah. Ladybug?
Yeah.
I'll never eat grits again.
Why?
I think five days straight is the perfect amount.
You had never eaten shrimp and grits?
My first time eating it, and this is amazing.
I thought this was more oatmeal-y than savory.
And five days later, I'm done.
Got my fix.
That's a good – that probably averages out to how much most people eat grits, right?
Yeah.
You just did it all in one fell swoop.
Yeah.
I'm not a big grits guy even though I'm from the south.
It's okay.
Cheese grits can work, but I'm not a big grits guy.
Shrimp and grits is pretty good.
I think it's almost like a touristy thing.
Like you're in the south and you feel like if you're in like Charleston or New Orleans or Savannah,
it seems like you're like, I'm going to load up on some on some shrimp and grits cheesy grits though is a great hangover
i feel like it absorbs cheesy grits and chocolate milk this was super cheesy yeah super cheesy super
cheese jalapeno in in there at all some jalapeno no no really did you try anything else it was like
just southern that you normally don't have here? There's a lot of different sausages.
I don't know.
With adjectives before them that were great.
Boudin and dewy.
Great cocktails.
Fuck yeah.
I love a good cocktail.
Greatest restaurant me and my wife ever ate at.
It wasn't that expensive.
We just found it.
We were walking around Savannah.
Didn't have a reservation or anything.
We walked in a couple places.
Couldn't get there.
And we go downstairs to a jazz club that had
food. It was called
Jazz. And it was the best restaurant we ever had.
That was like 20 years ago. If you go down
some stairs into a jazz club,
that's a guaranteed good time.
You start descending the stairs.
It doesn't even matter what the quality of music. That's the beauty
about jazz. You don't even know if it's good.
I don't know if it's still there. But it was there 20 years ago, and it was delicious.
She crab soup.
That was good.
The steak, of course.
I had turtle soup for the first time September 11, 2001.
Wait, what?
Yeah.
My mom picked me up from school early.
She was with my grandma.
My grandma wanted to go to Coleman's Fish Market, and I didn't like fish at the time,
so I wanted soup.
The only soup they had that day was turtle soup.
Now, what exactly is turtle soup?
Is it what I think it is?
I don't know.
I haven't had it since that day.
They picked you up early because September 11th happened, and they were like, and we're going to the fish market.
We're going to the fish market.
A little comfort fish.
Yeah, comfort fish.
Peanut butter fish stew.
Is there—
In Poughkeepsie, turtle soup is just any other soup
that's served in a turtle shell,
but I think other places,
they might actually use turtle ingredients.
Chunks of turtle, yeah.
That's just in Poughkeepsie, though.
Damn.
I mean, it is the perfect vessel to eat out of.
It's like a bread bowl damn near, you know?
Damn near.
Damn near. Like a lobster is terrible to eat out of. There's like a bread bowl damn near. Damn near. Like a lobster is terrible to eat out of.
There's all these crevices and shit, but a turtle
is just a fucking...
They need to crossbreed so you can have a lobster that's in a turtle shell.
That would be fire.
That would make me like lobsters so much more.
I don't like the vessel.
It'd be easier to open too.
Take the lid off like a Tupperware.
Yeah.
Snap it back on. Like a off like a Tupperware. Yeah. Snap it back on.
Like a what?
A Tupperware.
Oh, okay, yeah.
Okay.
He was very fat, too, right?
He was eating the Galapagos ones.
Fat ass.
Fat ass dead guy.
What's up, brother?
We're talking about William Howard Taft and his turtle soup that he was eating.
Happy birthday, Roan.
Thank you, brother.
No one else has said it.
You're the first one, so thank you, bro.
No one else said it?
I forgot.
Yeah, kind of fucked up, but thank you, bro.
Nick had a ladybug in his soup.
What do you want me to do?
Ladybug in my fucking soup.
You did?
See?
He threw it out.
That does trump a birthday.
Where's Sass?
He's taking the day off for the birthday.
Oh. He observes.
Sorry, boys and girls.
No worries. What were you doing?
We were finishing up
PMT, and I have an interview with
two. We got a little schedule.
Schedule's a little crazy with PFT
right now, but that's, you know, he's going
through some stuff, so. Yeah.
Just running around. Of course. Happy going through some stuff, so. Yeah. Just running around.
Of course.
Happy birthday.
Thank you, brother.
Thirty-five.
Thirty-five.
Thirty-five and still alive.
Can rent a car, finally.
Mm-hmm.
Can rent a truck.
You should be able to get, every ten years, you should get to rent something bigger.
There should be more privileges that come with it.
Yeah, like, for forty-five, you get a plane.
What do you do?
For forty-five, you get a boat.
Ninety, you get a tank. Yeah. Why not? Why 45, you get a boat. 90, you get a tank.
Yeah.
Why not?
Why not?
If you're 95, you've lived long enough. You get a flamethrower, a jet ski, and a tank at 95.
Yeah.
That shit is right.
You should just keep bumping that shit up.
Maybe 18-wheeler this 35?
Privileges shouldn't run out.
Like, adulthood should be something you still strive for.
It just gets worse when you get older instead of being something to look forward to.
So you-
Levels all the way through. What are the tiers of
anniversary? Like five is paper,
ten is wood?
Isn't that right? Fifteen is divorce, I think.
Seven is.
That was seven.
It was seven.
You were
seven? Seven.
You made it to seven?
It is a thing, right?
They say seven years is the thing.
You make it past seven, you're good, but damn.
Our seventh year was our toughest year.
Was it?
I think so.
I would imagine every year is your toughest year personally.
Oh, no.
It's all downhill from here.
We're cruising.
Oh, we're cruising.
I get pussy every two weeks.
It's all good.
Is it like a door dash or what?
You call some Russian? Every two weeks, my pussy's all good it's like a door dash or what call some russia every two weeks my pussy's
here again mail order pussy you see mincey in the office yeah i heard him around a standing
ovation when he came in he did he said he hasn't run since his race yeah he he's not gonna do it
he's not gonna be able to do it he said he could he said he was feeling confident still without all the people slowing him down in the beginning.
He's banking on the track being a lot easier than what he ran on before.
So he's just, this is kind of bullshit too because he knows, like, when I do these things,
I'm going to donate anyway.
He's borderline cocky.
No, no, no, no, no.
Don't donate it if he doesn't do it.
If he doesn't do it, I'm going to find a different charity.
There's a lot of people with cancer.
We can find another charity.
Yeah, I'll find a different cancer charity because I will donate.
Same thing, yeah.
No, he doesn't get any Hogs for the Cause money.
It's bullshit.
He hasn't run.
Hogs for the Cause probably has already processed all their money anyway.
There's a next year.
You get the ball rolling, that thermometer going up, you know.
Oh, yeah, the big big thing he doesn't feel confident
he feels confident no i think he's too confident yeah no he seemed like it was gonna be no
no biggie god damn it this mincey yeah but he again he didn't make the time the first time
and he hasn't run since that time so i don't know how he would improve. Now he has to go 59 minutes, right? Yes.
So, we'll see.
You guys think he's sly like a fox
at all? Yes.
The luggage, or the
boxing video we watched on Friday,
you guys missed it. Did you see it?
Don't, don't.
Put it in the bottom corner, TJ.
That's not, but he's now
doing... You guys can tell us if he's doing this. Are you trying to pack his whole thing or spar?
You guys can tell us if he's doing this on purpose or not.
Calculated Mincy?
I don't like to think he is.
I like to just imagine he's not.
People used to accuse me of being jealous of him,
but I want to go ahead and state right now for a fact in front of God
and everybody that I, Brandon Walker, am 100% jealous of him.
Okay.
He's walking around today.
He lives in the South. He only comes up here once every three months,. He's walking around today. He lives in the South.
He only comes up here once every three months,
and he's walking around with his own producer,
things I've wanted for my whole time here.
So I am 100,000% jealous of him as a fact.
You also probably make enough money where you could hire your own producer
and still be –
No.
I don't know.
You definitely do.
No.
You have your own producers. You don't know. You definitely do. No. You have your own producers.
You don't pay for them
out of your pocket.
But I'm saying
there's differences
because you're so fucking rich.
Come on.
Look at him carry this bag.
See, he's carrying his own bag.
You don't...
He never even carried
your own bag.
He was carrying a wheeled bag.
On a very...
I saw it a bit.
Yeah, this is him opening a box, and it's...
I think he was...
I like to just imagine it being all real.
The box is open now.
After just watching him carry that wheeled bag, it's...
He does have a great life.
See, I accidentally leaked an email.
I was supposed to send an email, but I tweeted it by accident.
Oh, no.
What was it?
You can pull it up after this, but it's bad.
It's always embarrassing when that happens.
It's easy for that to happen, too.
So this is where you would think it would fake if you were...
Right.
Considering it's out of the box now and he could just pull it a little bit more.
What do you think, Kyle?
He's trying to remix the recipe.
All right, all right.
Get it off him.
Yeah, no, I leaked an email by accident.
I thought I was sending an email and I tweeted it.
And probably the most embarrassed I've ever been.
Wait, what?
This morning.
I was in a Stella Blue.
You tweeted an email?
I tweeted an email.
What was the nature of it?
Is it?
Hey, guys, here's an updated sales graph from the last few weeks for Stella Blue.
Let me know if you have any questions, and we can hop on a call once you go over this email.
And you see?
Oh, that's tough.
It's the numbers, the sales.
That's embarrassing as hell.
Ever since Wake Up Mincy, yeah. So that's tough. It's the numbers, the sales. That's embarrassing as hell. Ever since Wake Up Mincy.
So that's bad.
I mean, yeah, you don't want to leak that kind of stuff.
He's going to probably renegotiate.
Or get scooped up by Folgers.
Did he do a show today?
No.
Well, in real life, he didn't do one yesterday, but he had to go to a funeral.
Wait, wait, he didn't do a show today?
No. He's here. I'm going to have to pull my sponsorship. But is he going't do one yesterday, but he had to go to a funeral. Wait, wait, wait. He didn't do a show today? No.
He's here.
I'm going to have to pull my sponsorship.
But is he going to do it tomorrow from the office?
He doesn't say it's Tuesday.
He says Tuesday, yeah.
Yeah, tomorrow's Wednesday.
Yeah, yeah.
If he does one tomorrow, then we're back on track.
What are you doing for your birthday, Roan?
Practicing gratitude.
I think you put a ladybug in my soup.
Not on my birthday, I wouldn't.
On your birthday, probably.
I'd fucking bless you with a ladybug.
Going to Le Barnardin.
You are?
Yes.
Wait, what?
I'm going to Le Barnardin.
Tonight.
Are you really?
Yes, bro.
You want me to get some bread back?
About the scouted.
You liked it that much, or because it's just part of... No, it was awesome.
Even just the appetizers, the thing that I think about the most,
it was like a fucking thin-ass slice of some fish.
I had no idea what it was, but some kind of juicy, delicious,
unctuous, foie gras, fatty strip inside,
almost like a candy bar.
It was magnificent.
I'm probably going to get the fucking nine course.
Whoa.
Probably just going to go on the ride.
Damn, that sounds awesome.
Yeah.
Well, we'll go back.
Bottle of red, bottle of white, brother.
That must be nice, though, knowing you're going and you still have another one.
I'm going to become a regular there.
I can't stop going to this good, good restaurant.
I want it for all of you guys.
Yeah.
For all of us.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's...
Oh, man.
We're going to have so much fun.
It's going to be so full.
It's going to be the best.
It's going to be so easy to talk to you guys.
It's going to be a good meal. It's always easy best It's going to be so easy to talk to you guys
This guy's talking
You think they'll give us one of the round tables?
Probably
Ooh
Can we ask them for that?
Of course
Is it booths or is it all just
You're talking too much
It's not
We don't want to tell you what the inside looks like
It's like
It's like telling you about a secret society
Yeah You ever feel that? Gotta get tapped to get into the skull and bones looks like. It's like telling you about a secret society.
You gotta reveal that.
Gotta get tapped to get into the skull and bones.
Hmm.
Skull and bones is pretty fucking badass.
I know. I had a college roommate who just wanted to get tapped
so bad. He did all the right things.
He was powerful independently and thought
he would get tapped, but he never got fucking tapped.
He was a college roommate at Penn State?
Yeah.
So they have their version of it.
Oh, they do?
Yeah, yeah.
Explain what this is real quick.
What is it?
It's like a lion's paw or some shit like that.
Skull and Bones, like a secret society of heavyweight movers
and shakers in a college that behind the scenes actually control things.
George Bush was one.
Yale has one. Yale has one.
Yale has the most famous one.
It's a college fraternity type deal.
Yes.
The Skulls?
Skulls.
Craig T. Nelson was the backer.
Can you look it up?
Yale, I think there's multiple presidents.
Paul Walker went to it.
It wasn't Paul Walker.
Super powerful people.
It was before Paul Walker, wasn't it?
It was the Paul Walker before him.
Okay.
But do you have to be in a frat?
Is Chris O'Donnell?
I don't know.
But I think a lot of them probably are, but I don't think so.
So what was he doing to try to get in it?
He was the student body president.
Oh.
It was like the multiple times.
He was trying too hard, you think?
Maybe.
Or maybe they just saw how rowdy his boys were.
Was Brendan Fraser in it?
No. No, Brendan Fraser wasn't in were. Was Brendan Fraser in it? No.
No, Brendan Fraser wasn't in it.
You think about the movie?
Yeah.
What do they do in their little parties?
I think they just take over the world.
Yeah.
I don't know who either of those people are.
prominent Ivy League secret society.
Paul Walker.
Okay, yeah, so.
I'm sorry.
No, it's good.
I'm sorry. Joshua Jackson it's good. I'm sorry.
Joshua Jackson from Dawson's Creek.
None of the people I said were in there.
No, there's correct, T. Nelson.
There you go.
Who's in the real Skull and Bones, though, at Yale?
It's like multiple presidents, I believe.
W.
I think you can see that tattoo he has on his watches.
There's only one W.
HW and W?
Okay, I don't know.
It's basically what Kanye thinks the Jews are, is what Skull and Bones is.
It's the Catholic Jews.
Howard Taft is coming back in.
Dudes everywhere.
Two tubs, two mentions.
Dads, was Alfonso Taft?
Huh.
I mean, all these guys are like...
Tafty. It must be pretty boring not having any cool ladies around. They go, yeah. I mean, all these guys are like...
It must be pretty boring not having any cool ladies around.
Yeah, Taft.
Go to like President Day or like the 50s.
If you like CIA guys.
All right.
I haven't seen anyone hot so far.
Say that.
Wait, they let women in it?
Ha ha.
They ruined it.
A woman rabbi?
Oh, no.
They were just covering their bases.
An Asian woman rabbi.
Check every box with one woman.
Let one in.
They definitely have a separate room where they don't let women.
That woman's a madman.
Oh, Paul Giamatti.
He's the president of Yale.
What the fuck?
Keep going.
Keep scrolling up.
He might need to be in the ugly actor discussion.
Yeah, like a federal judge.
Isn't Blackstone Group something?
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah, like all these super powerful people.
George.
But they also have some jocks.
I see an Olympic swimmer in there.
United States ambassador. John Kerry. Powerful people, George. But they also have some jocks. I see an Olympic swimmer in there.
United States ambassador.
John Kerry.
Oh.
Side dwell.
Long face on that man.
Very long face.
Governor.
Yeah, it's like all the power.
Imagine being in it.
No, because I don't know what it is. Do they meet at a building or what?
I think it's like a fraternity house.
I believe.
I think it's like old school.
What do they do?
Are they drinking or are they just...
Children's blood.
Yeah, and geochrome.
Yeah, cracked skulls of aborted fetuses.
Yeah.
That type of stuff.
They're probably Bud Lights.
Yeah.
Probably.
It's a secret society, KB.
And I think they all are very powerful and they all like lean on each other to become more powerful.
Imagine if your college friends were like an ambassador, CEO Blackstone, a governor.
CIA agent.
Yeah, you get everything. CIA agents aren't popping up on Wikipedia.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know what they're doing, though.
I think they're having peggers and like...
How are they utilizing their power?
I think it's a group of guys who will be powerful, but they all...
Well, I think they're leaning on the last generation who has the power now,
and they supplant those guys, and it just keeps feeding itself.
Like a referral code.
The machine at Alabama.
Like they decide who becomes homecoming king,
but also like all of the local government is that,
is like former members of the machine.
I believe.
What's the group?
It's like the civilian version.
It's not the Hibernians.
They have like the stickers on their car sometimes, but they don't talk about it.
Autists?
No, it's like a secret order across the country.
No, it's like the Moose Lodge, but more secretive.
It's not the Hibernians.
Are you talking about the Elks?
No.
The thing with the G?
Yes, what is that?
Freemason?
Freemason.
What do they do?
Oh, don't.
They drive little cars at parades. What do? Freemason? Freemasons. What do they do? Oh, don't. They drive little cars.
What do the Freemasons?
I feel like they're like the Black Bones Society of Harvard, but for civilians.
Francis can tell us more.
Come here.
Come here, Francis.
He's going to really tell us.
Hey, guys.
You want to start a secret society?
I do.
Francis, come sit down real quick.
The skull and bones
how does it work thank you brother it's just super powerful dudes just become friends with
other super powerful dudes it's one of the secret societies at yale um there were i think one of
them oh yeah there are eight of the original secret ones. The others are Skrull and Key, and they all have funky names like that.
But those are the oldest ones.
And then there are a bunch of newer ones
that are more low-key.
But Skull and Bones is the one
that's shrouded in the most secrecy.
They have what's called a tomb,
which is their clubhouse.
There are no windows.
You can't see in.
And theoretically, you're not supposed to know.
A tomb?
A tomb. A tomb.
The tomb is the name of their club.
And it looks like a tomb in a way.
I mean, there's really no distinctive markers or anything.
And people don't know much about what goes on inside.
I think it was founded in, well, it's been around a long time.
But in the 30s and 40s, yeah, there it is, it became, I think there's only like 16 members.
You only get to join when you're a senior.
I think you're only a member, you get tapped to join.
That's what Roan was saying about trying to get tapped.
I think when you're a junior and then you go through the process or whatever,
and then you are only a member your senior year.
So, and it's just all the most powerful people in the country.
They have a woman Asian rabbi.
Interesting.
As a member?
Yeah, it said it on the website.
That's three levels of power.
My grandfather was a member.
Really?
Yeah.
And how powerful was he? he went to cia okay so you answered that and this was in the
must have been in i don't know the 50s it was right after the end of world war ii and at that
time a lot of the it became a just a breeding ground for the Foreign Service. So they just run the world?
How do they detect this college kid, this 21-year-old has power?
It wasn't – you didn't always know what you were going to get.
I think the place created, in a way, some people who would go in that direction.
And then those people would help the next generations get more power. Now, with that said, historically, they always do the captain of the football team.
I think the captain of the rowing team.
Best trained swimmer.
Yeah.
They always have certain people who seem to always get it every year.
But now it's become more modern it's not as secretive
people know who you can find out who the members are um but yeah but like bush and uh carrie were
members at the same time which was ironic because they ended up running against each other um
they're called bonesman and uh bones good The Good Shepherd is a phenomenal movie, which has some great featuring scenes of it.
And especially how, you know, you can understand how a club that is built on such secrecy
and yet with such, like, academically elevated people might lend itself to a career in the CIA.
They run the world.
Yeah.
But it's a chicken and egg thing.
Were these sons of leaders who became members, or did the place cultivate them to become
who they are?
What do they do, though?
KB was asking this.
Do they meet up and do they booze? Do they talk about policy. Do they like- Meet up and do they booze or just-
Do they talk about policy or do they like have rituals where they hold each other's
dicks?
So I think-
That's definitely part of it.
Definitely holding dicks.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Like a human centipede is how I picture it.
I think the big tradition of all the secret societies at Yale is that they have a thing called like senior speak where each member
works for weeks if not months on creating the story of their life which they present to each
of the other 16 members and each person does this and you sit it can it can last two days
with rapt attention and hear them describe everything about their life and what they are.
And they all get to know each other really hard.
And that's the big presentation that everyone does.
But obviously, there are also major professional relationships.
You can mine the alumni network i think book and snake or scrolling key has this thing where there's an endowment from
the alumni where if you when you graduate you're given like fifty thousand dollars that rules start
your career and world after college well maybe it's maybe it's less but that was you know the
known thing for them damn that's fucking's fucking badass. Yeah. There's,
there's stories of their life
must be boring as fuck though.
Yeah.
Like a 20 year old
rich as fuck.
Oh no,
this sounds feminine as hell.
Some of them,
some of them are like,
sound cool.
Sane.
Like some of these,
you know,
they're not,
it's nowadays,
it's,
it's more progressive
and you'll get like orphans
who escaped
crazy war torn countries
and made their way through that's what i want to
hear yeah and you have that but i guess it's also interesting because then all those people know
the rest of their members like so intimately exactly it bonds them right right they should
just do like mutual blackmail that would be fucking cool yeah everyone puts some blackmail
in yeah everyone give your best piece of blackmail,
and now you have to always answer the phone.
I have to always suck my dick.
Yeah, you have to suck my dick and answer the phone when I call.
Damn, we should start one.
So really quick, my grandfather went from there to CIA,
and then he was training to be deployed in, I think, the Philippines,
and he got over there, and he'd been studying the language, all this stuff.
And right when he got there, his cover was plumb.
Really?
He had to retire from the service.
How does cover get plumb?
I don't actually know.
There's a white guy in the Philippines?
A guy with red hair in the Philippines.
That happens a lot, I think, when people don't like you bureaucratically ah um and uh that happened
during the bush administration there was someone who was uh whose cover was blown as like a
political act huh um and they were it was very controversial because they were still in the field
and it's very dangerous when you do that that's fascinating the people who have like all this it's like the it's like you know you could be as rich as you
want in the world but to have that power to have the network of power power is a is a currency that
i think we don't know much about but for some reason, wealthy people whose power, I would have to think to them or for some reason, power is more valuable than money.
It's like the Koch brothers.
Like, I have a longstanding, like, Elon, my only, my biggest gripe with Elon is, like, if you have that much money, go buy a sports team.
Fuck having power.
Who doesn't want to own a sports team? But it must have some sort of almost erotic kind of high to it.
It might be harder to get them money.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I completely understand why people would want power.
Right.
So they don't have to do laundry and shit?
I haven't figured that out.
What's the major draw of power?
It never seems that fun.
You have $10 billion, you're stressful.
Yeah.
I think it's pretty fun to be like, you can basically fix any problem.
And you can also change how people think.
You also don't have to answer to anybody.
People are coming to you to fix problems.
All you're doing is that.
I think there's a part of power that comes with
implicit understanding of your relationship
with the people around you.
So you never have an underhanded relationship with someone.
You always have the upper hand
with everyone that you relate to
or the majority of people you relate to.
So the more power you have,
the more you can control the relationships that you're in
rather than letting them control you. It's exhausting. And can control the relationships that you're in rather than letting them control you.
It's exhausting.
And then the only people that you're in relationships with are powerful people, and that person wants your power.
Yeah, no one in Succession seems like they're having a good time.
Oh, no, they're definitely not.
It doesn't seem fun.
Where's the fun?
Cocktails.
The cocktails are probably incredible.
That's true.
Cocktails are probably so fucking good.
Good hors d'oeuvres.
Private chats.
Slap of a finger.
That's a great example.
That is a show where money is irrelevant to people.
Yeah.
And it's only about power.
Isn't that like every rich person?
Like super rich?
I don't know.
See, this is what I was trying to ask is that if I were to-
Any super rich person who's still trying to be relevant or still is.
Right.
Yeah. who's still trying to be relevant or still is right yeah i mean if i made a billion dollars
my envision now which is very naive is that i would love to just go play golf and
eat amazing meals and and kind of chill sports team yeah when money is easy to get
then you have like a probably a wiring in your brain where you're like, I want to get something else.
It's very easy to get.
Acquire money just happens all the time.
Then you're like, what else can I get?
Oh, I need something else.
Yeah.
Brandon, what's it like?
Meddling in the affairs of state or having global influence of some kind.
I don't know.
It doesn't seem that attractive.
I don't know. Staging a seem that attractive. I don't know.
Staging a coup in a small Latin American country
wouldn't be a bad idea.
That's pretty sweet.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, thank you, friends.
Yeah, thanks for this.
That was good.
I feel like I learned.
It's called Bones.
We should be part of it.
Yeah.
We should do a yak from this.
Who's in it now?
These kids?
Yeah. But I do a yak from this. Who's in it now? These kids? Yeah.
But I think you're forgetting all these kids, they now have an entire rolodex of people
they can call and be like, yo, I'm skull and bones.
They're next up.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's what it is.
They help them out.
Get them a job.
Brandon, name one professional athlete that went to Yale.
Oh, wow. this is bad,
Brandon.
I don't know. I don't know if it is bad.
No, there's
Fitzpatrick
went to Harvard.
Yale?
You got one?
It's got to be like an offensive lineman or something.
Jeremy Lin? Where'd his ass go?
He's a baseball player.
Did fucking not Sid Fernandez or Ron Darling, one of those It's got to be like an offensive lineman or something. Jeremy Lin? Where'd his ass go? Harvard. He's a baseball player. Harvard as well.
Did fucking, not Sid Fernandez or Ron Darling,
one of those Mets guys from back then go to Yale?
A damn Doug Glanville or some shit?
No, I think one of those Mets.
Ron Gant.
Sid Fernandez maybe or Ron Darling.
I think Ron Darling might have went to Yale.
Doug Glanville went to Penn.
Yale.
Weak alumni.
Yale.
Athletically. Ron. Weak alumni. Yale. Athletically.
Ron Darling's my guess.
He's currently on the broadcast for the Mets.
Okay.
Who we got?
I got.
Victor Ron, damn.
Okay.
These are no names.
Walter Camp, father of American football.
I don't know any of these guys.
Ron Darling, there you go
nice nobody else studley oh the guy that shack pushed or threw the ball at
theo so all the red sox gms just went to you i guess that makes sense yeah not a lot of
went there
not a lot of Not a lot of Yale
And Gundy
Okay
Yale
Alright
Alright
Shout out to Yale
If we did a secret society though
It might be tough because...
I'd talk about it.
We'd run our mouths a little bit.
We'd blab our shit.
I'm in the tungsten one, and now it's just become...
Everybody knows.
The Federation is in shambles.
Am I the only guy that wasn't allowed to get voted in?
It wasn't my fault.
I nominated your name.
That means I can't vote, and then you have to slam your tungsten on the table.
Nobody else voted for me?
Nobody.
You didn't get tapped?
Can I get tapped?
I could nominate you, but that means you lose my vote.
Of course he's going to get...
I could have been...
Will you please nominate me?
Sure.
Thank you.
Look at that crew.
Y'all let Jeff Vibbert in?
Yes.
What the hell's wrong with Jeff Vibbert?
Nothing.
John Rich. No, it's wrong with Jeff Vibbert? Nothing. John Rich.
No, it's a good-ass crew.
How often do you guys meet up?
Once a month.
What do you do?
It's the least threatening group of fellas of all time.
Yeah.
You see them walk into the bar, you tell your girlfriend,
like, go talk to them.
Get over there, scamp.
TJ's in it?
Yeah, TJ's in it?
Yeah, TJ's in it.
Boyfriend leaves his drunk girlfriend like,
they'll get you home.
Hey, my girlfriend's really drunk and I'm annoyed.
Can you just watch her for a while?
Yeah, call her an Uber.
She crash on your couch.
Want to bang that high noon ad?
Of course I do.
High noon, hard Seltzer.
Real vodka.
Real juice.
Sparkling water.
Those are the buzzwords.
You fill in the gaps in your mind.
Because you probably already know what it feels like to suck back a nice high noon.
Cracking that top.
Euphoric.
That's a good feeling.
You want to have it.
And good news is, you can get it pretty much anywhere.
Because high noons are taking over the nation.
Perfect, refreshing drink for a hot day.
Of course I love grapefruit.
And you know what's great about that?
You can usually get a grapefruit.
I'm grabbing up those grapefruits. I'm the grapefruit drinker of the group, but you might be a pineapple person, a watermelon person, maybe a passion fruit person.
I don't know.
You might not know what passion fruit tastes like until you get a high noon,
but luckily you can get them on Drizzly or at your local convenience
or liquor store, or you can visit highnoonspears.com
to find some high noons near you.
Get a high noon.
Treat yourself.
I might have a high noon tonight.
It's your birthday.
You think Lee Bernardin has them?
Yeah.
They got to.
Are you dressing up?
I've got to, right?
Yeah.
Maybe I'll go somewhere else.
Maybe I'll bail and play Bernardin.
No.
No, it's done now.
Save it for us.
It's done now.
What?
Save it for us.
I think the boys are already calling.
Oh, no.
No way.
Yeah, they are.
Veroni?
Why are you talking that into existence? I'm not talking into existence. Yeah, you are. You just brought it up. You just did that to him. Oh, no. No way. Yeah, they are. For Roney?
Why are you talking to that? I'm not talking to his distance.
Yeah, you are.
You just brought it up.
You just did that to him.
No, I did not.
It's been happening the last 30 minutes since you said it.
No, not for Roney.
No, it hasn't.
On his birthday?
No, it hasn't.
I think the ad's over, TJ.
I can talk now.
You don't think that I...
TJ, I can talk now.
And he's back.
Actually, one thing I do love about high noon.
I could have so many and just I feel so good.
It's the greatest buzz, great taste.
Big Cat, what do you think?
Springtime, high noons, they hit different.
Yeah, they do.
They are incredible.
They're in season.
Did you guys see Dak Prescott holding a high noon at Mississippi State baseball game?
You know, I've always wanted to go to a Mississippi State baseball game because everyone says that place is cool, but I think it's wildly overrated except for the high noons.
Maybe we could do a high noon sponsored live show there.
Oh, good idea. Branding everywhere.
What's the name of that stadium?
Oh, beats me.
That they sell high noons at in Mississippi State?
Fuck.
Does anyone know the name?
The Big Miss.
The Sip.
It's the Sip.
The Grove.
The Grove.
It's the Grove.
The Grove.
Grove.
It's the Grove.
High noons at the Grove.
Nothing better.
All right.
Sorry.
I just had a...
Sorry.
All right.
All right.
That seems to be over.
Okay.
You talked to Dave, though?
About what?
I was on the rundown yesterday with Dave.
What did y'all say?
We said some bleeped out words.
What was that?
What were they?
I guess.
Bleeped out words.
All right, so what's the difference between you and Dave?
What's a word you could say to describe Dave?
Be more describing people in the office Brandon doesn't
think highly of.
I never said that.
He called him a worm.
Some high achieving people.
A word. He called him a word.
But it was like a couple syllables.
Like three syllables.
What do you think Brandon would call
someone if he thought they were not smart?
He's older, so it would be something really outdated.
Something that everyone knows you don't say anymore.
Not supposed to say that word.
Talk about high notes.
Who bleeped it out?
Who made the call to bleep it out?
I guess the editors.
So you didn't care about saying it?
Oh, he clearly didn't because he texted it. i didn't say it first dave said it first you you texted it first that's
texting man that's that's you know that's texting that's different world enjoyed the rundown just
watching the two of them it's a matter of time until you can't type bad words in texts well
they're gonna censor us won't let you do it. Wow.
Yeah, I thought it was fine.
Yeah, no, I thought it was fine too. Clear the air.
Yeah.
You know.
So you're never going to have any drama again?
Never.
Perfect.
You know, and this is real.
I don't know how I get into so much drama.
I feel like I'm not.
Before I got here, I was never in that much drama.
And now here, it's every two
or three months i'm in something big you're you're just an anxious guy and you think that that
leads me to drama you being such an alpha personality will be your downfall no i think
to be truly honest you're an anxious guy right and i think you act on your impulses in the moment forgetting
that like all these things aren't that big of a deal and then you almost like realize 10 minutes
later like whoops probably shouldn't have acted impulsively you know i go through possibly there
go through emotions very quickly right right i also think sometimes your style of content which
i think is informed by your love of wrestling,
dictates that.
And as an example, today,
you had the clip that came out with Titus,
and you're like, I'm smarter than you.
And of course we know that that's a joke.
You know what I mean?
You're joking, right?
Did I tell Titus I was smarter than him?
Or some shit like that. You're like, you don't know the fucking,
you don't know Tecumseh Sherman.
You called him Richard Sherman.
Oh, that's right, yeah.
Or whatever. And you'd be like, yeah, you're't know Tecumseh Sherman. Like, you called him Richard Sherman. Oh, that's right, yeah. Or whatever.
Like, that's like, and you'd be like, yeah, you're fucking dumb or some shit.
Like, argument over.
Which is like, we know you're joking.
That's aggressive.
But I think that when you carry that energy, it turns into.
I'm a sweetheart of a guy.
Yes.
I like having you around, Brandon.
I agree.
I'm a terrific human being.
I enjoy spending time.
You have the charity a lot.
Tall.
You said you were going to match if Mincy ran under 59.
I got some down payment to accrue right now, so let's just relax on that.
To accrue?
I got some down payment to build up.
A couple of big titty real estate agents.
I never.
You did say that, didn't you?
No.
We also found out yesterday.
Wait, no.
Rome, were you here yesterday?
Yes.
Yeah.
Who's not?
Oh, Nick wasn't here.
Brandon's a creep online.
Oh, big time.
No, I'm not.
Yeah, I was upset by that.
Do you know who Livvy Dunn is?
Is that her name?
Oh, don't do that.
Do you know who Livvy is online?
I do.
Do you know there's some new girls that are trying to take her spot? Oh, don't do that. Do you know who Livvy is online? I do. Do you know there's some
new girls that are trying to take her spot?
What? Yeah, there's new Livvys
that look the same, but they have... Listen to
the sentence you're saying.
Brecky Hall?
You can't...
Something about the word Livvy?
Yeah. Can I say her name?
It's the way your face looks when he says it.
You know that Livy girl?
I don't like their names.
I don't like their names.
I didn't make their names.
What?
How do you know this?
I'm on the internet.
So am I, but I didn't know that there was a-
Next up.
There's a next up Livy.
Is she a gymnast?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And Brandon, she came up, and then Brandon was like, you know the three girls that are
going for her spot?
The third one, but I can't remember the third one.
Is it Persian Smoochie?
I don't know.
Persian Smoochie.
Who's Persian Smoochie?
I stopped five.
Can't keep up.
Persian Smoochie.
That's a great name.
Steven, are you feeling good about the draft?
Yeah. I mean, it should be a fun time.
Since you've got him up, we never mention this.
He, on Sunday, tweeted out trying to dunk on us about the cactus getting put together.
Oh, yeah.
Did you see that?
Yeah, I thought we did get dunked.
I accepted it.
That's not getting dunked on.
That's a completely different cactus from the one that was.
I'll still give him the win because I thought that was.
Give him the win?
Yeah.
Dude, all he does is catch wins.
Catch A wins.
Wait, didn't you see Whitney say that he thought grown men shouldn't wear jerseys?
Jay, I was curious as to your response to that as a guy who just bare chested a jersey at a Knicks game.
I think that's fine.
I think there's two different schools of thought, or I guess three different.
It's like no jersey,
no jersey of a player that's younger than you,
and then pro jersey.
Wear whatever the fuck you want.
You got to go custom, Maresh.
It's the only loophole.
Fair.
I'm a jersey guy.
I've always been a jersey guy.
I don't really like getting the younger guy jerseys,
but Jeremy Lin's about my age.
Maybe he's very slightly younger. I mean, Asian dude. I didn't realize you getting the younger guy jerseys, but Jeremy Lin's about my age. Maybe he's very slightly younger.
I mean, Asian dude.
I didn't realize you were all about that jersey.
I didn't intend to, but then I was strongly encouraged to.
And people are pointing to that as the turning point of the series.
I pulled Che aside and I said,
the last time the Cavs won a championship was in those T-shirt jerseys.
If you're playing the Cavs,, you got to take it off.
I think the Knicks were losing at that point, too.
Look at the back, boy.
Team hasn't looked back.
So would you wear a jersey of any Asian guy?
Like, if I got you a Wang Juju jersey, would you wear it?
No.
I mean, Jeremy Lin was a Knick.
Oh, speaking of of The guy downstairs
Is flush with jerseys
Right now
Oh shit
They all suck
There's no Nick's jerseys
There's a Reggie Miller
There's a Reggie Miller
There's the yellow one
Fuck
There's a Kevin Durant
Nets jersey
Damn it
There's an Allen Iverson
Nuggets jersey
We have to wear some jerseys
Tomorrow boys
So I told him
We might be coming soon
Or we got shirts
For tomorrow
We do?
Most of your
Or you're taping something, yeah.
What do we have?
A special shirt for tomorrow.
I don't know if I'm supposed to say it.
Oh.
Are we eating popcorn tomorrow?
Yes.
How are we going to do that without pissing off everyone?
What do you mean?
Who are we going to piss off?
Oh, the people that watch the show.
We should maybe care about our audience.
We should do it and you should have a minute to go and not be on the mic.
You eat and then you pass it off to the next guy.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh yeah, we could just do clock times.
Left side eats right now, right side eats.
Yeah.
How are we getting it?
I'll get them.
I'm hoping for the real butter thing.
I'm gonna, yeah.
I guess I should survey who won
are you gonna add a movie theater
yes
if I got you a Wang Zhe Zhe jersey would you not wear it
was he the one that was on the nets
he was on the Mavs I think
or no the Yujun Lan
would you only go Chinese
no
and Jeremy Lin was a special person to me.
I was a Knicks fan, and you blew up with the Knicks.
Special person to you.
I like that.
Who do you wear this jersey?
Yeah.
Yeah.
For the culture.
It was also on sale.
This is fire.
What is that?
Wang Zhezhi jersey.
Oh, fuck.
And just 16 throwback Dallas, and it just says Wang on the back.
I think this show talks about Asian basketball players more than any other show.
When else do we talk about Asian basketball players?
I think Simbular has a podcast.
Oh, really?
Is Hachimura, is he?
I don't know, Steve.
Yeah, he's from Japan.
He's Japanese.
Yeah.
Same with the Nets have a Japanese player.
Really?
Yijin Lan.
Or now they do, yeah.
One from Seattle.
You do Watanabe?
Yeah, Watanabe.
Lefty.
Yijin Lan was like a top six pick, wasn't he?
Yeah, he had that workout where he was just crossing up a chair.
Not for the Bucs.
My cousin's best fan at his wedding was his interpreter.
Can you find Yijin Lan?
Can you find his miling? What's his name? Yi Jingling. Can you find his, like, mixtape or whatever?
I remember him just, like, in an empty gym just crossing up a chair.
A seven-footer with handles.
Yeah, what's up?
We got to figure out the popcorn.
I'll think about that.
I think popcorn's not that bad to eat with a mic.
You think so?
It's the worst.
I don't know if it'll be that bad either.
We're also doing it for speed.
Are we racing Ben Mintz?
You don't want to be last.
If you're last in the popcorn, you have to eat a whole other bucket of popcorn.
They're going to have to understand that we're having a food eating contest that day,
and some days that's what you get.
Yeah.
Maybe we just start it and uh
while ben mince starts and people can watch ben mince have we got anybody on site with ben mince
to provide commentary there or will we we're gonna be the commentary yeah we're gonna be there
uh connor griffin will be there and mince's producer will be there i'm so excited just
watching him run there he is right now.
It's going to be kind of chilly tomorrow, too,
so his bones won't be as warmed up.
Yeah.
It's kind of cold.
Two minutes to get him?
It's cold.
I'm sure he's busy.
New York City.
Yeah, he's got business.
He's got a business to attend to.
The other thing we need to address is We were supposed to do a draft last week
And we didn't
Draft on Thursday?
On Thursday
NFL draft?
Sass out of town?
Oh
Sass out of town?
We could do it Thursday
It's draft day
Let's call it NFL
Do we draft Thursday?
It's NFL
I'm down
Yeah
Alright
What a packed week for everyone
Alright so what are we going to make, though?
An NFL, like
a bowl, a dip, burrito, or wrap?
I think we're doing wrap, right?
Why don't we make a super bowl?
So you have to use a
soup? Are we making a soup?
Soup or bowl, and the ingredients are NFL.
Yeah.
So
why is everybody looking at me?
You said it
Super Bowl
You're the smart one here
Oh no
No no
Super Bowl
And
Climb into that brain
What would be a bowl?
A fucking like a burrito bowl
Hold on
Nick's cooking
Nick's cooking
He's cooking
Grits
Like rice could be the base
This would be a great week
I like the acronyms.
It gives us NFL works.
What's the NFL package?
What are we making, though?
A wrap?
It could be a wrap.
It could be a wrap or a bowl.
We just get ingredients, NFL.
What about a wrap?
Yeah, you put it in a bowl, and then you wrap it.
Why don't we just do a bowl?
NFL bowl?
Or it could be a soup.
What if it's a soup?
And half of them have broth, and half of them are just a bowl. So it's a soup be a soup. What if it's a soup and half of them have broth and half of them are just a bowl?
So it's a soup or a bowl.
I think we're getting stuck
on the soup or a bowl thing.
What if it's like NFL draft
and your team's on the crock
and we all have different crock pots
and we have to throw everything in?
Now Nick's cooking.
All of us having different crock pots is tough.
Yeah.
What if it's just NFL draft?
And it's a drink?
You have to get an N, an F, an L, a D, an R, an A, maybe not.
Or we just mix it in with a beer.
That's right, yeah, on tap, NFL draft.
I think the easiest way is a wrap or a...
Yeah, wrap.
And we each bring in an N, an F, an L.
A mystery item.
And a mystery item.
And then it all gets mixed up.
Have you ever done a draft?
No, I've never done one.
All right, NFL and mystery item.
Four items.
Yeah.
And we'll draft.
Yeah.
Thursday.
Yes.
Okay.
We'll put them in wraps.
Okay.
Yeah, we'll put them in wraps.
We'll just have the wrapping stuff here.
That's not part of it.
Well, what do you mean have the wrapping stuff?
Like we got a bunch of tortillas?
Yeah.
You don't have to bring a tortilla.
Yeah, we'll have that.
Yeah, yeah, we'll provide.
Yeah, NFL.
It's not B-Y-O-W.
No, no.
Never was.
Are we capable of wrapping stuff ourselves?
We'll find out.
Are you a good rapper? If you can roll a blunt, you can wrap a burrito. We'll find out. Are you a good rapper?
If you can roll a blunt, you can rap a burrito.
Did you ask him if he's a good rapper?
I did.
Oh, man.
Jesus Christ.
But what about gift wrapping?
Have you ever battle rapped?
Come on.
Erased?
I wrote a rapping song for Nicole Richie for the holidays or something like that.
They paid me $1,000 to write a rapping rap for Nicole Richie for like the holidays or something like that. They paid me $1,000 to write a rapping rap.
That's sick.
For Nicole Richie.
Probably not.
I don't know.
I probably did it
in like one sitting.
Did it come out?
Yeah.
Can we watch it?
Yeah, can we find it?
Years and years ago.
I don't know.
I don't know where it would be.
Some kind of rapping shit.
So we got
Mincy,
Popcorn,
Tomorrow. A draft. Should be a long show and then a draft on Thursday. some kind of wrapping shit. So we got mincey, popcorn, tomorrow.
A draft.
It should be a long show and then a draft on Thursday.
I don't want to go like four hours on Thursday
because we got the actual NFL draft show.
No, we won't. We won't go four hours.
We'll hop right to it.
Should there be like a base of rice
in the wrap?
Or is that stupid?
That kind of makes it a burrito.
It's three things in a mystery.
I'll do burrito, and I'll do rice.
Just do burritos, then.
NFL burritos.
We know how to make burritos?
It's just rice and then the three ingredients on top of it in the wrap.
In a mystery.
Oh, have we talked to Chef Donnie?
Because he usually has to help.
Yeah, maybe he can wrap them for us.
Even if he can't, I can probably.
We can do it.
We can set up a table.
We'll wrap
We'll have a wrapping station
Exactly
I'm very excited now
Wrapping looks crazy easy
Ever seen
I mean
I don't know what
Brandon's all about
Those are felons doing it
Brandon's like
Those poor people jobs
Don't want to do them
I can say that
Wrap one burrito
You can wrap a burrito
I'm sure I can
I'm a very good cook
I just
I do have the steamer though
That helps
I think that makes it stretch
I don't understand
I don't eat wraps
What about like a fajita
Or a
Wrap is against your religion
Oh I do do fajitas
What about like a buffalo chicken wrap
Those are good
I've never done it
Really
Why get a wrap
When you can have a sandwich
You don't like spice Why get a wrap when you can have a sandwich. You don't like spice.
Oh.
Well, I get a wrap when you can have a sandwich.
Healthier.
Question remains.
TJ, can you spin the wheel?
Because I've got to go interview Carson Palmer.
Yeah, the other thing I was going to say is the Yee Jan Lin chair video is a Mandela effect.
What?
No!
It was a Bill Simmons bit.
No!
It apparently did happen, but there is no video of it.
Yeah, Simmons.
Unless somebody can prove me wrong on that,
but I'm seeing multiple Reddit threads.
Wow.
Where the fuck is the Yijing Lan chair workout video?
I got Mandela effect.
Wow.
That's always cool when that happens.
It is cool, because you're like, how did my brain get there?
And it's because Bill Simmons hates the Chinese?
That's so wet.
That's what it is.
Never existed.
Damn.
You guys got Mandela effect recently?
Recently.
Yeah.
What happened?
Yeah.
I said it on here, right?
No.
Yeah.
He did it. He must have said it on here. Now, I remember. You said it on here. Is it No. Yeah. He did it.
He must have said it on here.
No, I remember.
You said it on here.
Is it happening now?
I remember we had a conversation about it.
Was it this show?
I think you did say it.
Wait.
Yeah, no, yeah, because we had this conversation.
On here.
You said it.
You got Mandela affected.
Are you talking about the Sinbad Genie movie?
No. You're not allowed Sinbad Genie movie? No
You allowed to say Genie anymore?
Yeah
Right?
Is that a classic one?
Sinbad?
I never know
The Sinbad Genie movie is one
Berenstain Bears is another
What was it?
What was the Sinbad Genie movie?
It was never one
Because it was like Kazam
Kazam and Shazam or something?
Yeah like got everyone confused
He was, okay.
He did, Sinbad did.
First Kid.
First Kid.
Yeah, he was a great movie.
He was a service guy.
Yeah.
Did the Cherokee Kid too.
I can picture him in a genie costume.
Damn.
He was so funny.
Got Mandela affected.
That's such a weird phenomenon.
Yeah, he's fucked up now.
The M was capitalized in LimeWire.
That was yours?
That's one, I think.
Really?
In the logo.
Brandon tried to tell me Ray Romano was wearing a hat yesterday. Isn't it Fruit Loops?
Is it F-R-O-O-T Loops?
Yes.
Right?
Yeah, that's crazy.
Yeah, that is crazy i never got mandela affected about the actual mandela part like i
always knew he was alive i never thought he was dead is he still alive
no but when but when everybody thought he was after he was jailed for whatever
the 30 years yeah like i see i'm reverse i i thought
he was still alive i knew him because the Huxtables named their twins after him,
Winnie and Nelson.
Of course.
That's how we all know him.
Of course.
Yeah, we spin it.
You guys keep yakking.
I got to run.
I'm sorry.
My schedule's been nuts.
Apologies.
You don't have to apologize to us.
Refusely apologizing.
No, I love doing the yak.
I miss when I'm not able to yak.
A little dry.
All right, popcorn tomorrow.
See you, Bruce.
Yeah.
Wait.
Should we end the show?
I don't know what to do.
Should we end the show?
Should we end the show?
We have another ad.
All right, do another ad.
But see, it's a...
Shady Rays, baby.
But it's not printed out.
Well, I have one.
Well, then.
I only got the top sheet.
As did I.
I was trying to save some trees. Okay, well, I got it the top sheet. As did I. I was trying to save some trees.
Okay, well, I got it.
You only gave it to Brandon.
I asked Brandon before the show.
Look at that guy.
What is that?
That was PFT.
Oh, that's Spider.
Oh.
I thought it was a delivery man for a second.
Why is he dressed like that?
It's Hulk Hogan.
I got that.
Is Hulk Hogan coming to this motherfucking office?
Hulk Hogan was a wrestler.
No, he's dressed like Hulk Hogan.
I understand. He's an old wrestler from back in the day. Where do you rank Hulk Hogan coming to this motherfucking office? Hulk Hogan was a wrestler. No, he's dressed like Hulk Hogan. I understand.
He's an old wrestler from back in the day.
Where do you rank Hulk Hogan all-time professional wrestler?
About number three?
I got him top three.
He's either two or three.
I bet you he's three.
I got Austin one.
And then Taker two.
No, I don't have Taker top three.
I got Austin, Rock, Hogan.
Biggest stars.
Yeah.
Taker, you know. But best wrestlers is a different conversation because then i have sean michaels number one yeah but he was just too scrawny it would never put him over
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Mm-hmm.
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All right, Stephen, we've got to talk.
You're about to blame Stephen?
No.
I'll just finish the ad, and then we can talk about it, okay?
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Talk to this man.
Got a bone to pick?
Yeah.
Bullet point three and bullet point four.
If anybody has that.
If you're going to turn in your Bibles to bullet point three, bullet point four.
Well, you have them.
You're going to have to read from the bullet point three.
I'm going to read bullet point three for you right now.
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Oh, it's so nice you want to say it twice.
Yes.
That's a big deal.
You're also not supposed to read the ad copy verbatim.
You're supposed to have a conversation about it.
Those are talking points.
Be a pro one time.
One time.
The highlighted is the...
You know that this is a bad ad copy.
He doesn't write it.
Mirror, mirror on the wall.
Uh-oh.
Is not what the Wicked Queen said in Snow White. She just said magic mirror on the wall. Uh-oh. Is not what the Wicked Queen said in Snow White.
She just said magic mirror on the wall.
Mm-hmm.
I knew that.
It's also Luke.
There's no Luke, I am your father.
No Luke.
Damn you.
Life was like a box of chocolates.
What?
No.
Oh, he said life is.
He said life is.
Life was.
No.
Does.
Oh, he does.
He's right.
Life was.
But he still says you never know what you're going to get.
I didn't say anything about that.
You never knew or never know?
I think he says, Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
Shit.
I mean, I just read the, I obviously just read the article.
Oh, I didn't know.
This is a nerdy thing that I did, and I'm sure you didn't do it, and I wish I wasn't
about to say it out loud.
The Forrest Gump bench
is in downtown Savannah.
Yeah, I went to the park. I don't know if the bench
Oh, it's in downtown? They turned it.
Okay, yeah, I didn't see. They used to face
outward so they could film. Now it faces inward
at that exact spot.
Yeah. I wasn't nerdy.
It's not?
Because I thought it was really nerdy to go to Forrest Gump's bench.
No way. I would love to do that. Oh, I did that and it was awesome my parents didn't they're super cool
so i liked you and titus together though
i don't think it'll work no i think that's a good pairing you don't think so nick ah
does it have a name yet well we haven't yeah, we haven't actually said that we're doing a show together.
I said I like that.
Right, but she said.
She must know something.
She knows something.
This is probably one of those men that I heard.
Right.
Thing, and I.
No, it does not have a name yet.
We're working on the name right now.
But if people can't figure it out, I mean, we're sharing a studio together.
It's not.
They just put us randomly together.
How's that studio looking?
Good.
Good.
We don't have a logo for our show yet, so it's hard to build around a logo.
You don't have a name.
It doesn't exist.
What?
You don't have a name.
You don't have anything.
What do you need?
What's going to be the vibe of it?
We could help you with a name.
There's two dudes talking ball.
Hear me out.
That's a good name.
Recrochables.
Ooh.
Don't do this.
Everybody thinks that's a hilarious joke to tweet now at me every time we do a double play link.
Well, how about your studio?
Did they give you the industrial beach?
We swapped.
Yeah, no, we had them fix it up.
More beachy or more industrially?
Both.
More pleasing to the eye.
Yeah.
I got Yak Studio renders
Whoa
I didn't even think about that
Can I look at them?
We gotta see those
Imagine like a bunch of chairs
In like a semi-circle
In a room with like a big Yak logo behind it
Would it be crazy for us to see it now?
I think so
I don't know
I don't have a problem
We're not that important
We can show it
We're probably gonna hate it
And shit on it
And fix it
Yeah and we can show it. We're probably going to hate it and shit on it and fix it.
What do you got a bone up on for your show with Titus that you have coming up?
Me? Nothing.
I talk ball all day.
What's he got a bone up on?
Ball.
All of it?
He's behind in football and basketball
and all that stuff.
If he can get up to my level i think
we got something um do y'all know when y'all are moving yet i'm going out there this friday
to look at houses and well to look at small apartments on friday and saturday
so hopefully i have no idea but then I'm moving there hopefully by August.
I don't know.
We're going to July 1st to get on out there and give the kids a summer.
Oh, you could go to the NASCAR race in the city.
July 2nd, yeah.
Oh, wow.
When are we starting up out there?
When are we starting our first?
Yeah, good question.
Yeah, I don't know.
Is this how you're announcing?
Have you found your place yet?
I'm still looking.
But when are we starting?
When's our first day?
I believe Hank wants to do like a grandiose
today's the first day of the Chicago new office.
So we'll probably have like pickup shows
either here or in the current Chicago office
until September.
September?
September?
I'm not going to do it for two months.
Y'all can do the yak.
New crawfish?
Expecting like a September.
That's what I was expecting.
That was always the assumption.
I just thought when I announced I was moving in July that everybody would move it up.
Based on me going.
Let me state your place.
I got a couple extra rooms.
Yeah, you do.
Yeah, you do.
I'm such a pushover.
I had a call with the realtor today and I was like, actually, I'm starting to look at the suburbs more.
Because at first I was like, I want to be in the city, but now-
But the house you showed me yesterday.
I know.
But then she's like, trust me, you are blah.
And she talked me back into Chicago again.
So I'm going to buy a house-
That's definitely where she represents.
I know.
You need to be in the suburbs.
I just know I'm going to buy a house that I don't even like or an apartment just to please a realtor.
She's so nice. Do you want my two sisters? No, she's great. She's so nice. I don't want to disappoint an apartment just to please a realtor. That is so nice.
My two sisters.
No, she's great.
She's so nice.
I don't want to disappoint her.
So I was like, you're right.
You're right.
I will be back in the city.
So now I'm doing that.
And I, I'm like, there's no, I should not be doing this.
No, she's not great either.
She's trying.
She senses your vulnerability.
Trying to manipulate.
No, she's not.
No, she is.
This is your life where you live, where you spend most of your time.
Seriously, listen to KB.
No, stop defending this woman.
Stick up for yourself.
No, oh my God, she's so nice.
She normally does...
Stop defending her.
She's doing her job.
Stick up for yourself.
No, she normally does
way bigger deals than I.
Even if she was so nice,
this is where you live.
She's like doing a charity case with me
and she's like super nice.
Hey, when you were at war,
did you apologize to the enemy at all?
That was what threw them off.
They would literally stop fighting.
Who is this standing up apologizing?
Like your turban.
Yeah, yeah.
Great, sorry.
Anyway, I'm just kind of freaking out.
I don't know if you can tell.
I'm kind of freaking out about it.
Kyle, you found a spot yet?
No, I look to see what the options are.
What neighborhood?
I don't know.
Do you want to be in the city, though?
Yeah.
See, I think I could be.
I think it would be fun.
Double stroller.
When's Big Cat moving?
Oh, yeah.
To where?
Oh, yeah.
I have no idea.
He hasn't told you guys?
I don't think he's going anymore.
What is it?
You think you know?
I think I know, but I don't.
It's an answer.
I don't.
I certainly can't say.
Nicer than your place?
A little bit.
Yeah.
A little bit.
Bigger?
I don't think so.
Have you seen it yet?
What?
Is that what you're talking about?
Where he's, yeah.
And he's got a walk-in pool.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can't even jump in.
Just have to walk straight into it.
The abyss.
All right.
You got this.
You got this, man this man I'm good
I'm in charge
Ron's in charge
Ron you're always in charge
When Big Cat leaves
Four seats removed
From the in charge seat
When did you take your seat back?
Oh the renderings look cool
No no no
Yeah
You've been in that seat
For about a month
I sleep more than that
Can I make a suggestion for the room?
I know I just skipped the meeting that was about it.
Oh, do we have the room there?
Yeah.
I feel like there should be a glass-enclosed mini room within the room
that could be a stinky cloud, a confessional.
Somebody's got to go in there.
They're still visible.
But I feel like we need some sort of smaller room within the room.
It's right. We should make the studio smaller
for a one-off bit.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
I gotta say something.
What are those chairs?
Those are rock.
I've already put in the complaint about the chairs.
Those chairs look ridiculous. I'll never get out of them.
Your body would slide right off it.
Alright, Mr. Reckliner Demander.
No, this is...
I know.
What even are these?
I already complained about them.
Actually, yeah.
Look at that.
Those are goofy as hell.
Very low.
Complained about the door placement.
Kate, it's nice though if you have to give birth.
It can just kind of...
You're just there.
That's cool that they all come with stirrups.
Yeah.
So neat.
Interesting.
I just feel like we need like another little room
within the room for things.
Is that basketball court accurate?
Yeah.
That's awesome.
Apparently.
So we have to enter our student, not have to.
Do we get to?
I already complained about the doors.
You're going to have to run a one-on-one
before you get to the studio.
Right.
Pretty cool.
That's awesome.
I have a question for the people in the room.
Are you guys still coming to that thing I asked you guys to come to after the show tomorrow?
Well how long is it going to be?
What was it?
I'm going
I remember what it is but I have a free meal
I cannot
Okay
I thought when it was the previous one I could have I can't now
We have to record
Oh yeah I can't now. We have to record. I can't. Shit.
I'm going to record with Clemmer, but I would much rather
do the thing with you. Why?
What? I think that's a good show you have going on.
It is a good show with Clemmer, but this involves
getting fed.
And money. Yeah. I'll be there.
For what it's worth.
Down, down, down, down, down, down, down.
I always thought it was five, but it's four.
Yeah, it's four claps.
I thought it was five.
No, it's four.
Okay.
No one told you life was gonna be this way.
Oh, yeah, it's definitely four.
It's four, right?
Yeah.
Who thinks it's five?
I always thought it was...
I think I always did five. I just did four more. It's gonna, right? Yeah. Who thinks it's five? I always thought it was... I think I always did five.
I just did four more.
It's gonna be this way.
It's crazy how much better that song is than the show is.
That song tricked everybody into thinking...
No, way to go.
Way to go.
Is it the...
Goddamn it.
I'll say I've never enjoyed an episode of that show.
Is that...
It sucks.
Kate, you couldn't...
That show...
Now it's fashionable hate on that show.
No, no, no.
Always.
That show's fine. It never was. that show. No, no, no. That show's fine.
Never was.
The first couple seasons were really, really good.
Is it the best theme song?
Is it the greatest drop-off from theme song to show?
Oh.
Andy Griffith.
Andy Griffith is a big drop-off.
What's your problem?
I just have good taste.
I'm not trapped in the amber of some nostalgic
memory that reminds me of my childhood.
The Griffith Show is amazing.
The guy who sings the Pokemon theme song is like
he'll go to conventions and like
try, he'll sing it in front of people for
attention. It's really cringy.
He has bad attention.
He just like doesn't
want to be.
Yeah.
They like it?
Some people do, some don't.
He's the guy who sang that song?
Yeah.
He's probably crazy rich.
Well, the guy that sang that
was Michael Jackson's backup singer
for Black and White.
Ah.
You get a ton of money for singing a theme song.
I know, like, the Roots used to play...
Like, because they owned Jimmy Fallon's walkout song,
they were, like, all independent... Every member's walkout song, they were like all independent.
Every member of the band was independently rich just off of royalties.
Alan Thicke, who starred in Growing Pains, actually sang Different Strokes.
Wrestler walkout songs is a cheat code too.
What was it?
Fandango's walkout song charted 11 on the UK charts?
And it got him over even though he kind of sucked.
There's a
Full House
if you watch it now
is actually a terrible show
but the theme song
is very good.
Oh that show's not terrible.
If you watch it like now.
So I need people
to get on this
with me online.
I tweeted about it
but I've been watching
Parks and Rec
back on Peacock
and they have
slightly altered
the sound
of the theme song.
What?
It doesn't sound
like it used to sound
and it's driving me crazy.
It was probably a licensing issue with whoever owned it.
But it's the same song, but it's pitched differently
or you're hearing noises you didn't hear before.
It's weird.
Really?
Maybe there was a sample in the song that they couldn't clear,
so they had to re-record it.
I don't know.
It's just they've slightly altered it.
And Full House is not a terrible show.
Not as good as Family Matters, but it's not a terrible show.
It's cookie cutter.
Of course it's cookie cutter, but everything was cookie cutter in the 90s.
Boy Meets World.
They dealt with real issues.
I didn't watch Boy Meets World.
I was too old.
Malcolm in the Middle was a great one.
It holds up.
It's fantastic.
Yep.
Boy Meets World, the best friend joined a cult.
Sean Hunter joined the center.
Really? Mm-hmm.
Did he get out? Yeah, Corey's dad
got him out. Malcolm in the Middle has one of the
most talented casts of any show. Unbelievable.
Every character. Cranston was
his dad? Yes.
And then Frankie Muniz and these.
Freaks and Geeks. Oh, Freaks
and Geeks takes the cake. Good call think Cranston. Oh, Freaks and Geeks takes the cake.
Call, good call.
Cranston.
SpongeBob.
No.
SpongeBob until the end of the first movie.
Best cast.
Best cast.
Who's in it?
Bad theme song.
The bad.
Isn't the bad.
Best characters.
The bad warden from Shawshank is Mr. Krabs.
Frank Oz.
I'm not talking about that.
I'm talking about the best characters.
SpongeBob
by a mile.
Best characters?
Yeah.
Then the guy
Dauber from...
They haven't done
anything else.
The characters?
Yeah.
I'd like to see him
do something serious.
I guess you're right.
I don't know.
SpongeBob has done
some other shit.
Is he?
SpongeBob is one
of the classic shows
that are just way better
than it had any right to be.
Save Nickelodeon.
Really good show.
Then he got that plastic surgery.
He looks, like, unrecognizable now.
He got his buccal fat removed or whatever.
The creator died, right?
And then they did all the things he didn't want to happen?
Yes.
Yeah.
The series should have ended at the end of the movie.
Yeah.
So what do you mean happened? That's, like, canonically where it should have happened. the end of the movie. Yeah.
So what do you mean happened? That's like canonically where it should have happened.
But he didn't want it to happen.
I think the animation style changed.
I think they changed a handful of things.
Bill Watterson.
I think he wanted to end it.
Yeah.
The show.
You know, Bill Watterson would never let Calvin Hobbes be made into cartoons or movies or t-shirts or
anything like that.
Just the bumper stickers where Calvin's
pissing on. I don't think that's licensed though.
Legolas never talked to Frodo in the series.
What? Never spoke.
So you think he was a dream or what?
Don't know, man. Freddie Mercury
never said of the world.
JD
from Scrubs was the only person that should have talked to the janitor.
The first couple episodes were like that.
He was supposed to be a figment of his imagination.
And it's good that they wrote around, they fixed that,
because he had great interactions with the other characters
throughout the rest of the show.
In The Sixth Sense, the kid was dead dead or the dude was dead the whole time
no i just started watching clips that tiktok's just showing me movies clip by clip again
watch the 12 angry men i've been watching that one and when he when he hands the grieving dad
the videotape in the middle of the funeral is like here you might want to watch this and it's
the mom poisoning the little girl crazy sorry i've
been watching clip by clip entire people are posting entire movies in three minute clips on
their thing and i'm dumb enough to sit there and oh i do it and watch them i'm watching a lot of
peaky blinders that way i'm watching a lot of clips of that show and i can't understand them
never actually seen that show you should uh like voice over peaky blinders in southern yeah southern style and just or just like a quick
explanation of it all right now here's what he's saying y'all yeah that type of shit
i don't know none of their names so i can't shelby thomas shelby
yeah it's got to be it and there's an alfie i don don't know what Alfie's name is, but it's Alfie something.
It's a good way to see the movies that you never wanted to see,
but that kind of look good.
I look forward to the next clip I'm going to see on TikTok.
I like scrolling and 12 Angry Men pops up.
I've seen the whole movie now, I think.
I watched Erin Brockovich on TikTok the other day.
12 Angry Men, the black and white?
I don't know why that keeps popping up.
I'm old, that's why.
Yeah, they know.
You guys getting a lot of Matlock on yours?
A lot of.
I mean, you just were intentionally searching for old stuff
so you don't see that Livvy.
Right, that's quite the juxtaposition.
No, you know who it is.
That Livvy Dungirl or whatever her name is.
Whatever her name is.
She's the gymnast for what school?
I don't even know.
I never said Brecky Hall's name.
I never said her last name.
Oh, fuck.
I don't know.
Yep.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
I need to know the third girl's name, too,
because there's a third girl that's trying to get in.
It's Brecky Hill, by the way.
Oh.
Brecky Hall, Brecky Hill.
Good.
See, you're good.
Nice save.
I'd say Tuck is just all World of T-shirts and then World of T-shirts live recaps.
Can't keep up with him, to be honest.
I know he was in Naples, Florida.
Did you see his nudes got leaked?
Yeah.
His nudes?
Yeah.
Scott.
He's had only fans this whole time.
Yeah.
Oh.
He's throwing ass. Brr. I wonder what he's looking Yeah. Scott. He's had only fans this whole time. Yeah. Oh. He's throwing ass.
I wonder what he's looking like.
Bad.
I didn't see.
Some people like that, though.
Hmm.
Me.
I subscribe.
I still got like 75 bucks worth of subscribers.
You do?
Nice.
People just forgot.
It's a nice dinner.
Yeah.
When those cards expire in 2027, you'll be in for a rude awakening you gave them even a hint of content like even just spent
i think probably about a year now yeah let that ship say that only fans wave was was something
around here i was making 15 grand a month the first couple months what What? Yeah. I didn't post anything. Did you give it to any strippers?
What's that?
Did you buy a couch for a stripper?
I did.
Yeah.
Just reignite it for the Chicago move.
I should cover the cost of the moving costs.
You know what I mean?
Mortgage payment.
Honest to God, I would show full tits for that.
For a free move to Chicago, I think any one of you would.
So why don't you do it?
I will.
Clifton Martini was online too.
Are you joking?
I was like, ah!
No, he does have that picture.
You don't look pregnant at all yet.
I do.
Are you sure you're pregnant?
I'm wearing giant sweaters.
It's pretty.
I keep forgetting too.
Yeah.
Because I keep seeing you drinking.
I mean, pina coladas.
It looks like a beer.
And you're chasing it with like lunch meat.
Yeah, yeah.
Sushi.
That's right.
Pregnant women can't have lunch meat.
They say that.
What?
Yeah.
And that's like, they say that because of the germs or whatever.
But then you can the germs or whatever but then you
can microwave it or whatever but old southern women old southern grandmothers would say you
shouldn't have a cat around a baby right yep my grandma could soul out of your soul out of you
yeah so it sucks your breath out of you already you're one for one on that you're not supposed
to change the cat's litter box you're not supposed to stand in front of the microwave is when i read
every cat owner has like
a parasite in them right don't cats give you like some sort of change in your body yeah probably
already had it that's fair yeah i'm sure i did in the 60s women would some women would eat like raw
hamburger meat while pregnant and that was like a thing i had the craving to scoop dirt into my
mouth last time and the smell of the train station rails
like the grease on it
I just wanted to scoop it into my mouth and eat it
like I wanted to
what the fuck
I don't know I became obsessed with ice
like all day long I just crunched ice
crunched ice and the second my son was born
never did it again
it was like an urge
like I had to do it
have you started any of those this time?
no I bet the OnlyFans would go crazy if you were doing that shit it was like an urge like I had to do it. Have you started any of those this time? Yeah.
No.
I bet the OnlyFans would go crazy
if you were doing that shit.
Yeah.
Have you seen that woman
that wants to fuck the
or she tries to
or does fuck the
amusement park ride?
Amusement park ride.
I did, yes.
I've seen her.
She scoops off the grease.
Oh, the one who's married to it?
Yes, she's married.
She is.
Yep, she's married to it.
Yep.
Yeah.
That shit's unacceptable. I guess it is. I don't know married to it. Yep. Yeah. That shit's unacceptable.
I guess it is.
I don't know.
Did you have any dirt?
No, I didn't.
Why?
But they say women crave eating rocks and shit.
It's a thing, and I definitely was like,
I just want to scoot this mom off the ground and eat it, man.
I don't know.
That's weird.
Is the father of your baby an earthworm?
I mean, it's a beef.
Whatever that's worth.
Wood chips.
What the heck?
We'll get you some oil for...
Yeah, if you guys could...
Get you some mulch.
Mulch, some train oil.
Somebody pick that for your NFL burrito thing.
NFL.
Yeah.
Mulch has manure in it.
I've been crushing popsicles.
Fertilizers. Sunshine ones or whatever.
Outshine.
Those are good.
That's food.
That makes sense.
That's an edible.
Yeah, that's not crazy.
That's not trash sludge.
No, but it got weirder towards the middle.
I wonder what the biology of that is.
They say there's certain, like you can look it up.
We did a bracket of things that aren't edible
but you really want to eat.
And poison dart frog won.
That's a good one.
A little blue one.
It looks like a delicious fruit snack or gummy.
What about that Old Spice body spray that was like...
The blue?
The gel.
The shave gel that was on there.
Any candle?
Candles do delicious.
I think a Frisbee would be good, too.
No.
Yeah.
I think it would be really just good to walk around the city and eat it.
It's good.
Do you think it would crunch or it would pull off like a fruit by the foot?
I think I'd want it to almost be like a...
Poker chips look good, too.
And I want it to be the same thing as that.
You know what I saw on, again, on TikTok? You take a fruit roll-up like those square fruit roll-up square you put
a pickle in it no no no no you put a scoop of ice cream in the middle that's fine you fold it
and then when you go to bite it it's the crunchiest it becomes this very thin extremely
crunchy shell that like it gives you the most satisfying crunch on the planet apparently
and i really want to try that i don't know if i satisfying crunch on the planet apparently and i really want
to try that i don't know if i want crunch from my like sweet or fruity foods it's like i guess
it's like tangy with the vanilla ice cream makes like a i don't know but it's supposed to be really
good though i think the crunch is probably nice like when you have a sundae and it's coated in
that hard chocolate shell yeah something like that but with a fruity type of flavor yeah apparently
that's roll up and ice cream hogging doll strawberry normally i'd go chocolate but i feel maybe let's
put a little bit more okay i feel like that's good roll her up like a little blanket is what
it looks like i'm so excited oh it freezes on the spot? Yeah, like on the spot.
That is bomb.
You know it's good when it gets a happy dance.
10 out of 10.
Yeah, people are saying this is amazing.
I really want to try it.
10 out of 10.
Yeah, it seems like a lot.
TJ, you ever play Half-Life 2?
No, not really.
Okay.
I didn't have a PC that could play games until 2019.
The corpses in that game, they found out, were just actual photos of corpses.
Oh, nice.
They weren't, like, rendered.
They used a photo of a burnt body.
That's metal.
I'm trying to buy a game right now.
It's $1,000.
What is it?
It's just a graded, unsealed, or unopened copy of my favorite game.
Nice.
Tony Hawk?
SSX Tricky.
Very nice. I liked SSX3. It's rated A, my favorite game. Nice. Tony Hawk. SSX Tricky. Very nice.
I liked SSX 3.
It's rated A, A+, 9.4 out of 10.
Oh, Tricky was my favorite too.
You're saying this snowboarding game is one of the best?
Yes, it's incredible.
What made it so good?
I believe you.
The arcade graphics, the replayability, the character design.
The soundtrack.
The soundtrack.
And just the tricks you're doing.
It's like a bunch of Oscar winners.
It's awesome.
Lucy Liu, Oliver Platt, David Arquette.
It really peaked with PS2, man.
I could play it forever.
If that was the only game I ever played again, I'd be fine.
Damn.
TJ, bring it in.
Let's play.
Somebody give me $1,000 to buy this.
Big Cat, give it to him.
Why are you saying this when Big Cat's out of the room?
I would never ask him for something like that.
Are you kidding?
Alasek got his talons in
Big Cat today to save Czech lacrosse.
But that's a worthy cause
as well.
I'd rather TJ have the video. I would too.
So the Czechs get a
lacrosse team?
How'd Greer get involved?
Just assume that Greer's involved
if something's going on. Yeah, he's always involved.
It's a good rule of thumb. If it's a thing,
Greer's involved.
He's everywhere.
He has tickets to something
every day. Yeah.
He has extra tickets.
You don't think there's a double? Yeah, got to be two of them. He has extra tickets. You don't think there's a double?
Yeah, there might be two of them.
I've never actually talked to him,
but when I communicate with him,
I DM him once every couple of weeks
just to say, hey, what's up?
He talks about you in our group chat a lot.
Oh, yeah, we have a great relationship.
Oh, yeah.
Great relationship.
We get along very well,
but we communicate entirely through DMs on Twitter.
I just don't know how he has the energy to do all these things.
He's got to be acutely aware of his mortality.
That gives him energy?
It would give me energy.
No time to waste.
You've got to get on it.
It would give me a ton of energy.
We have the NFL Draft show Thursday.
We do.
It'll be me hosting on the desk with Che, Roan, and now Will Compton.
Frank will be on the piano, and you'll be in the war room.
Is that what you're doing? Yeah, I don't know what I'm doing.
Yeah, you'll just be out there kind of talking to people.
I guess so.
You have like five or six people you interview.
Are you going to be actually there? Yeah.
Are you going to be the only one? At the draft?
No. Are you going to be pointing at
Roan's right titty exclusively
throughout the night?
I appreciate that.
I was fried for that picture.
Stephen Shea, why do you look so
small?
I think it's probably about the scale.
Me and Roan are roughly the same height.
Jay, you were fried too.
You're a good two inches taller than Roan.
Maybe.
You excited for the draft, Jay?
Always.
Chance to get better.
I don't know about Nolan Smith at 10.
That's all the noise in the Philly.
I know.
Where are we at on the draft?
Have we got one more coming?
I still went out today, and then I'm going to do a final one for coming out Thursday.
I think.
Trade 232?
No, they have the 32nd.
Oh, really?
Because of the Chase Claypool trade.
Oh, the top pick of the second round.
Yeah, but, well, it's the 32nd. Yeah, but it's the last pick of the first round.
No, because the Dolphins
forfeited. It's not going to be
Thursday, though. No.
Just talking.
My bad. Do the Steelers have a first round pick?
Do the Steelers have a first round pick?
19?
It's around that.
The Bucs are 19, I believe. 17, 17.
Joey Porter or what?
Junior?
That would fit.
I'll pick Joey Porter again.
That'd be cool.
Every year is there a pick that just stuns everyone?
Or it's like, no, it's normally pretty.
Always.
Always.
I don't know about stuns everyone.
Always. Can you think of one that everyone was like, oh, my God?
Or is it just like, eh?
The Jets had a couple.
Cleland Farrell, Blake Bortles.
I think we got stunned last year in the lead-up to the draft
when we found out they were keying in on Trayvon Walker, right?
Yeah, Trayvon Walker, Baker.
You know, it's 20 years this year since the Vikings blew their pick
and didn't pick.
They ran out of time.
If that happened now, we'd be making 30 for 30s about it.
Who did they wind up taking?
Kevin Williams.
Yeah, the D-tackle from Texas.
Who did the other teams sync up and get?
Were they going after Leftwich?
Or McKinney.
Brian McKinney, I think.
Yes, Matt McKinney.
Wait, so their time just ran out and they didn't get anyone?
They didn't get a pick.
Somebody skipped them.
What was the trade that never went through
because the fax machines fucked up?
That was a free agency thing.
Elvis Dumerville to the Ravens.
The Ravens?
He was on the Ravens.
Or no, him resigning with the Broncos.
Yeah.
That's my favorite football name.
Elvis Dumerville?
Yeah.
That's a good one.
Brandon, are you excited about the draft?
As excited as I can be. I don't have a first round pick
I have a different role from you guys
because you guys got to prep and study
I just have to get out there
and throw it to you guys
play point guard
and I've got skills
point guard skills out the wazoo
Tim Hardaway
that's who I would compare myselfoo. Tim Hardaway, yep.
That's who I would compare myself to.
Yes, Tim Hardaway.
I hate Tim Hardaway.
He's skillful and he's just problematic enough to be me.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Drops the F-bomb once in a while.
Well, I haven't dropped that.
Yeah.
All right.
I think we can go eat now.
We're eating? Let's talk a little bit more brother
we can talk more
you're not having fun
I have one last dumb question
for you guys
I keep thinking about the move
did any of you share a room with your siblings
growing up
I'm 16 years older than my sister
and that would have been gross
no you didn't I bet you than my sister, and that would have been gross. Would have been gross. Okay. No, you didn't?
No.
I bet you if I had a brother, I would have.
Yeah.
Why?
I have kids sharing a room now.
Oh, you do?
And it's like no big deal.
Oh, that's fine.
Yeah, it's probably fun.
Tommy and his closest brother share a room.
And they entertain themselves.
Are they bunked up?
They were, and then they broke the bunk beds.
And now we just took them down, and we have two twin beds in there for them.
Who's going to get the bonus room?
So I think the baby's going to get the bonus room.
They don't need a closet.
The oldest is going to get her choice of wherever she wants,
and then Tommy and the other one will. What if she wants your bathroom or bedroom? She's not getting my bedroom. So not anything she wants and then Tommy and the other one will. What if she wants your bathroom? Or bedroom? She's not getting my bedroom.
So not anything she wants?
Well no, the ones
that are on the market, she will get the first choice.
I always wanted an attic room.
Where you had to pull down the ladder.
Are you not always
terrified to go up in there? No.
I've had that room my whole life. I've never gone in there.
It was my favorite thing to do as a kid, going up in the attic.
That's where the wasps are.
I remember my cousins in Ohio, they were brothers that shared a room
and it was a bookshelf. It was like a secret doorway
up to their own little like
I thought that was awesome.
Their own little wing of the house.
It was really cool.
You got extra money if you're doing that shit when you're building a house.
How do you
how are your ladder skills?
You're skilled on a ladder?
You got skilled on ladder?
One of the ladder going down than up.
I'm not good at going up.
How can you be bad at a ladder?
Well, how confident are you?
I think people get wobbly on the way back down.
I feel like at the top, when it's time to go back down, people start to go up.
The key is to never stop.
You need to never stop.
Are you talking about a triangle ladder or a lean against the house ladder?
Oh, whatever.
Hmm.
Ladder.
A lot of people just, you know, they go too timidly.
Do you have high ceilings in the new house?
Is that the concern?
Yeah.
Changing light bulbs?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, God, yeah.
15 foot?
30 foot.
30 foot, I think.
No way.
Because it's a shared up tall.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
How do you change light bulb then
you know no idea it's a ladder no i haven't lived there yet i haven't even been inside the house
i've only seen it through facetime so i don't know so you can't even smell i don't know what
smells like a stinky house you can get that out you can get the stink out though not always the
house my number one that i'm in love with i started to notice has several litter boxes throughout the house that shouldn't bother you at
all i don't know several it's a cat lady's house concerning i think that piss can really fuck up a
house yeah yeah i think you can get anything out i think you can get death out yeah did you know
when you're looking for a house it's um illegal or they're not permitted to, if you ask your realtor, if the house is haunted.
But you can ask and they must tell you if someone has died in the house.
Yeah, by law, they're required to tell you anything weird.
Well, they have to answer it for you.
You have to ask the question.
You have to ask.
Otherwise, they won't just tell you.
How do you know that?
My first time looking at houses in New Jersey years ago, i my first question i asked realtors is this house haunted
and she said well legally we're not allowed to answer that but yes there are many haunted houses
in this area the human ghost council determined that it's against the law to speak of it the
realtor just said that even though there's no such thing as a haunted house it's kind of an
off-the-record thing but then she she explained how you are not allowed to ask.
They're not required to answer that.
Do you believe those houses were haunted?
Of course.
You can't ask about ghosts, but what about a ghoul or goblin?
I haven't asked that part.
Have you ever seen a ghost?
Yes.
Okay, well, we've got about 15 minutes extended.
I've talked about it before. Oh, you have?
It's like a paralysis.
Sleep paralysis demon?
It looked exactly like the Harry Potter
Dementors. And it was way
before Harry Potter came out. So you're saying it was
a figment of your imagination and not a ghost?
It could have been. Potentially. I was
sleeping in my parents' house. I was a teenager. Rolled over. There was a window. It was hovering by the window potentially I was sleeping in my parents house I was a teenager rolled over
there was a window it was hovering by the window
and I was incapable of moving
at that time
did you dream?
sleep paralysis
did you dream it?
no my eyes were very much
open and I was awake
I had woken up and then
seen this.
Interesting.
What do you think it meant?
I don't know.
Maybe just checking me out.
I don't know what the Harry Potter Dementors look like
because I've never seen Harry Potter.
They suck your soul out the top of your head
like eating a crawfish.
That's what they do.
What do they look like?
Just like wavy black figures, basically.
Huh. Say the Michael Scott quote.
The worst thing about prison.
Say it.
I'm not going to do it.
Say it in full.
You're expecting me to do it.
I don't know the quote.
It's a question, not really a quote.
You don't remember it?
You know what the worst thing about prison is?
The mentors. Right? You know what the worst thing about prison is? The mentors.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
That's what he says.
I don't love that episode as much as other people.
Have you ever heard of Flanders,
Flanders,
Flanderization?
No.
So it's started from Simpsons,
Ned Flanders,
where they made him too dumb.
And it's called,
you Flander,
Flander,
I can't fucking say it,
but like,
Flanderize?
Flanderize a character.
Okay, yeah. They did that to Kevin Malone. They did it to Kevin Malone, and then they did it to, Michael Scott? No, you flander flander i can't fucking say it but like uh flanderize a character okay yeah
i did that to kevin malone they did it to kevin malone and then they did it scott
no um nick offerman's character in parks and rec oh fuck it was like a man's man then like at the
end of the ron swans yeah he didn't know what a record was like what's this plate yeah it's a lot
of shows do it kevin went from being an accountant who went to the World Series of Poker
to being really bad off.
He didn't know how to do anything.
Yeah, a lot of shows are guilty.
Oh, and one of the reasons I don't like Michael Scott as a character that much
is when they needed to, they would briefly do it to him
at the time he drove into the lake because the GPS told him to.
Yeah.
But he always had the duality of being a good salesman.
Like whenever he was in a sales circumstance, he crushed it,
so at least there was like an underlying, I don't know.
He drove into a lake because the GPS said to drive into the lake.
People have definitely done that.
Oh.
Guaranteed.
I think people have seen the lake.
Guarantee that that is that.
Drove straight into it.
Like on a foggy night if you're just following.
No, no, no, no.
He saw it.
I bet there's news stories about it.
I bet we could find like.
I bet you it happened yesterday.
Yeah, the olds.
I bet olds have done it.
Olds do it.
I don't think it fits his character to do that.
No, it was just really stupid.
It was one of the hardest.
You have to turn off your belief to believe somebody would be that dumb to do it. Y'all watch
Harry Potter and the Lord of the Rings. What do you mean
turn off your belief? I've never seen any of those.
You watch Marvel movies.
Some of them.
What was this?
September. Okay.
Looks like he didn't get very far into the water.
Oh. Looks like he didn't get very far into the water. Okay.
You need to keep going, Brandon?
I think it's been proven, but that was during COVID.
I'm glad to see equal parts men doing it.
Keep going?
I'm good.
I think we've proven that.
We got it.
We got it. We got it.
Got it.
Wait, did he backhand?
Okay.
Wait, why is there an office one in there?
Did he really do it?
It's a show.
It's a documentary.
Oh, was it too stupid?
It was too stupid.
It's one of the worst scenes in the whole show.
No.
I think it is the worst scene in the whole show.
With a comedy show, I don't really care.
Yeah, I mean, that's fine, but I just...
Even when it happened, I was like, nobody would be that dumb.
But a spider could bite someone, and they would get webs that come out of their wrists.
But that is... It's only happened once.
No, it's happened. That's the exception
to the rule. No, you could find it within the
last six months that happened.
Have you ever been bit by a spider?
No. I have.
I've been bit by a spider.
Yeah. A little nibble.
What got you, brown recluse?
Yep, brown recluse. Really? Those are disgusting. Those little nibble. What got you, brown recluse? Yep, brown recluse.
Brown recluse.
Really?
Yeah.
Those are disgusting.
Those wounds are bad.
Yeah, they take chunks of your skin out.
They open and close.
I heard they give you mental problems.
Yeah, they're right there.
Mm-hmm.
And I was down bad, too.
I was real sick.
I couldn't walk.
I had no energy.
You think the migraines are connected? No, I had them bad, too. I was real sick. I couldn't walk. I had no energy. You think the migraines are connected?
No, I had them way before then.
And somebody took me to the doctor, and I was like, they had to pick me up out of the lobby and carry me in there.
And he said, is it a spider bite?
I said, yeah.
He took a shot, went like that, and I walked out of there.
That's fine.
Immediately?
Yeah.
I bet you have Lyme's disease.
You get that from ticks.
I know, but I bet you just have it.
I've been bit by a lot of ticks. I know. I bet
you have Lyme's disease, and I bet that's messing
up your whole vibe.
What does Lyme disease do to you?
So many different things that no two people's symptoms
are the same. Achy muscles,
a lot of fatigue, sensitivity
to light. It's just being out of...
I could have Lyme disease.
You easily could.
I've been bit by many a tick in my life.
No, yeah, I bet you're rife with it.
Is there deer down there?
Uh-huh.
There's deer everywhere, though.
That's a fact.
Frickin' rats.
I was walking to my daughter's softball game in Jersey yesterday,
and there was a deer in a yard five feet from me.
You take out your pistol?
No, I took out my camera and took a picture of the deer that was so close to me
but they don't get scared at all in Jersey.
They just walk right up to you.
They don't do that in the south.
They're scared of you.
They do it in Hawaii.
Really?
There's deer in Hawaii?
Yeah, a bunch.
And they stay in shallow water.
It's cute as hell Really?
Yeah
Alright
Well it's your choice
Let's eat
Let's get some venison
Yeah let's
Do you want some venison?
I'd like some venison
Probably have some
I'll probably have some tonight
Alright
I'll see ya
Happy birthday Ron
Yep
Thanks Kate tonight. Alright, I'll see you Happy birthday, Rowan Thanks, Kate It's the act. It's the act.
Yeah, it's time to talk shop and do a Yankee pop. It's the act.
It's the act.