The Yak - We're Gonna Sink Brandon's Boat | The Yak 4-23-24
Episode Date: April 23, 2024Pears for PlumYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello.
Welcome in.
It's the Yak.
Roback.com promo code Yak.
Is that Flamingo just going to be there from now on?
Roback.com.
Is that Flamingo just going to be there from now on?
You know when Flamingo nurses their young, they lose their pink and turn white.
Yeah.
Restart the show.
It's just crazy that it's just right there.
We're doing a rowback ad in front of a dead Flamingo.
I feel like a Flamingo is called a flamboyance.
Really?
It's just laying there.
Where do you want it?
I don't know.
He's right.
He's right.
Welcome to the Yak.
Well, don't put it in the chair.
I mean, that's just crazy.
I actually like it there.
What are we doing with the apple juice?
I don't know why the box is going.
We got a box of apple juice.
Are we just going to sit here and not do any?
There's been a huge recall of that.
The apple juice?
We got to check and make sure it's okay.
All right, well, one thing at a time.
First of all, the flamingo's got to be dealt with.
Thank you to the lady
who told me to tell you guys
to check the apple juice.
Do the flamingo.
Do it again.
Fuck.
Goddamn.
Motherfucker.
Oh, Kyle.
Shit.
Fuck.
Okay.
Okay. I like the joggers.
Oh, now we're doing the ad.
What are we doing with the apple juice? I wanted to reply. I was like... So we're doing the ad I'm wearing a backpack What are we doing with the apple juice?
I wanted to reply
I was like
So we're just
That just lives here now
Yeah we just got apple juice
Recalled apple juice
Yeah
Just apple juice
I'm gonna take the risk
Is that Martinelli's?
It's Martinelli's
Yeah brother
Those little glasses are the best
You get
Bro you
Also he was here yesterday
Yeah he was definitely here
When we opened it
Big box of
Yo Che I didn't know you got down with the Nellies.
Yeah, that's the best kind of apple juice.
Look at you.
I didn't take you as a Nellies guy.
I think I speak for all of us when I say I think it's going to be tough to do the show today.
Why?
After the news that came out.
Sports news.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
That sucks.
The boys are buzzing.
Sorry that happened to you.sey kelsey plum and darren
waller broke up splitsville yeah what a freaking freak wow damn she got roasted for that yeah
poor girl that's the dumbest thing we've ever online roasted somebody for right no no no no that's the worst roast we've
ever had no no it was weird it wasn't weird she was weird she was pretending to be weird no she
was like what if i did this no she got piled on she got piled on she deserved every ounce of that
i i like her i like her a lot and i think darren ch fumbled the bag. I think she's part of Criss. Whoever. Is that the man from Glee?
Criss Angel.
Criss is the guy
from Glee, right? That's what a chick told me.
Yeah. Glee's a great show.
Yeah. That's what a chick told me
while I was inside her. Oh, wow.
It's
I'm devastated. I walked through fire for that man, but now
I see it's time to go. God has given me an incredible
life and I'm truly so grateful for the
love for my family and friends.
One day I'll share my story.
Today is not that day.
Thank you, the grace to process my pain.
Yeah.
To forgive and move forward today and every day.
I'll continue to choose joy.
Much love.
He fought Caitlin Clark.
That's it.
Wait, what is the Philippines one six?
I'm devastated.
Not Philippines.
Not Philippines.
Philippines.
I said it right.
Philippines one six. What is that? Well, it. I said it right. Philippines, 1-6.
What is that?
Well, it's obviously a Bible verse.
Yeah, but don't you write the Bible verse after?
No, you put the homework to the reader.
Yeah.
It's like putting it on your iPad. Now we got to go see it.
Yeah.
He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion on the day of judgment.
There you go.
What's the Bible verse?
Is that just coming in?
Yeah, that's what I was going to say, too.
Wait, go back.
No. That's just finishing inside.
No, I don't think so.
You began a good work, and you will bring it to completion.
Okay, what's the Bible verse that's like,
the Lord would rather you spill your seed in a common whore than on the ground?
Brandon, that's the cream pie verse.
No, we're not focused on the right thing.
See, he obviously cheated on her.
Pull that back up.
He obviously cheated on her.
He was supposed to come to completion
and her he came to completion somewhere else so that's not what that means
she's telling us brandon if i walked up to you right now and i said hey listen
when you begin to work inside of me please make sure you do it to completion philippians one but
you don't say it like that to people you don don't use it as a direct sentence as, hey, I would like to finish inside of you.
Maybe Darren Waller called his cock Jesus Christ.
Darren Waller.
Yeah.
I think he cheated on her.
Maybe Darren Waller didn't want kids.
That's not.
That's not.
No, you don't want kids.
She's too bitter for that.
Maybe Darren Waller didn't like her eating popcorn like a freak.
No.
With I'm devastated.
That means he did something
to me. Yes. Right.
And you're shocked by it. Who did he fuck?
Were they married? Yeah. Or were they just dating?
No, they got married. They're married?
What if I did this?
What if I did this?
I don't like the laughs in between.
She's being goofy.
It sucks, dick, but it's not. She's sitting there and she's tired of cameras being on her. What if she got put on the spot she got it sucks dick but it's not
she's sitting there and she's tired of cameras being on her what if i did this only this is a
that's a seminal moment in a relationship where you watch that and you say everything i thought
is now a little weird no no no if you're a dude and you want and you and if you're a dude and
you want to uh fuck abroad and you see we're all doing that why are you talking you're not
gonna stop because of that that that's not anti-pussy.
Yeah, it is.
No, it's not.
No chance.
She is super hot, and she's talented, and she's fun, and he messed up.
He messed up bad.
I'm anti.
I'm out on Waller.
I'm out on Waller.
Rap, I believe.
Who?
Darren Waller, I think, is considering retiring to start a rap career.
Well, there you go.
Also, he's done some things I just don't remember, except I also.
What?
Alcohol addiction?
Name them. Also, he's done some things I just don't remember. Except I also... What, alcohol addiction?
Name them.
He has talked openly about his addictions and getting sober.
Maybe he has a sex addiction.
Oh.
Sex addiction?
Yeah, pussy.
What are you addicted to?
Maybe he's the victim in this. Sex?
His addiction to pussy.
Cost him everything.
He has sex problems?
Sex problems.
Insurmountable.
She did say she walked through fire. Walked through fire. He addicted to pussy. Cost him everything. He has sex problems? Insurmountable. She did say she walked through fire.
Walked through fire.
Walking through fires.
I don't think she would actually do that.
We should walk through fire.
I wouldn't. I would fuck around and walk through some fire.
I'll walk through fire for you, Brandon.
I would. I'll do that.
Through fire or on fire? Both.
They do it at corporate retreats like old people do it.
You could do it.
Pam Beasley did it.
Pam did it. On fire. I would walk
through fire.
I don't think you would. I don't think you would.
I would do it. With that hair flowing, you'd get caught.
You'd be done. I would power
walk through. I wouldn't.
I mean, it'd be a brisk
pace for sure. Is that what happened to your beard?
Yeah, I walked through.
What if we did a walk through fire, but it's just you.
It's just me firing Brandon.
You're just walking through.
I'm walking through as you're firing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You'd walk through fire for Brandon.
If it came time to fire me, you wouldn't do it, would you?
I would.
No.
No.
No.
Are you kidding me?
Dave would revel in the day.
I know.
Dave would do it live on air.
Dave would do it live on air.
He'd be so mad if I did it.
I think he'd have Mints do it.
Oh, yeah. He'd do something sick.
I'd end up getting a raise. Oh, no.
Yes. Is there more plum news?
Oh! Oh! Pear salad.
Pear salad.
I told, so I
saw Donnie this morning
upstairs. Oh, this looks like shit.
Oh, my God. He even did the lettuce plate.
This isn't it.
There's no cheese.
There's no cheese.
Oh, you got to go get the cheese.
Go get the cheese.
Cheese.
Take the cherry off.
And frankly, frankly, frankly, more mayonnaise.
No.
No.
I'm telling you how it's made.
I'm telling you how it's made.
No mayonnaise off.
No mayonnaise.
A bigger dollop of mayonnaise.
I want no mayonnaise on mine.
And I want no cheese and no cherry.
You want a pear.
I want a pear.
I want a pear.
I told Donnie, because he was upstairs this morning.
He came by my office.
We were asking about something else that we got to do together.
And I was like, hey, we need pear salad on the yak today.
And he looked at me like, God damn it.
Can you guys please tell me this shit beforehand?
I'm actually doing stuff. And I was like, wait, wait. before you get upset like look at it and he's like that's it
we should that's pear salad depression week this week yeah i want to race with like the
what's the the hoop and the stick the hoop and the stick oh we should do a whole everything
events like a 1920s gauntlet yeah 1920s gauntlet. Yeah, a 1920s gauntlet.
You have to do it in a wheelchair. You have polio.
You have to sell newspapers.
You have to say extra, extra.
That would be a really fun job.
Domestic abuse.
I already booked my reservations for his restaurant this summer.
I'm very excited.
Donnie's?
8.30pm.
6.30 30 early bird yeah yeah yeah wait so what did we decide on
kelsey plum she it's his fault we're out on darren waller aaron left plum high and dry and
now she's going on dates wasn't oh she's out there that's a fruit dried fruit i'm not i'm
on darren waller's side why because of the popcorn the popcorn. Oh, my God. You're such a...
If he did, in fact, cheat on her, I need to see who he cheated with.
I think that's my attitude towards all these situations.
Nobody as good as Kelsey Plum.
That's for Dan.
What if it's a chick that eats popcorn real quick?
Right.
I need to see how she eats popcorn.
How you motherfuckers eat Dippin' Dots?
Do you go spoon or do you go tongue and have it stick to it no i go spoon
i rattle them like this and then just kind of no i stick my tongue down and coat the tongue
i just eat like ice cream i don't like dippin dots what you're living in the past yeah i i've
had some real controversial take you're an ice cream elitist i know he is i'm not i'm a ice
scream over everything guy he's elitist he's the opposite of an elitist yeah No, he is. I'm an ice cream over everything guy. Elitist.
He's the opposite of an elitist, I think.
He likes the worst version.
Well, no. Regular ice cream.
He likes the older version.
I like all ice cream. All ice cream lives matter.
But you don't like Dippin' Dots. It's not ice cream.
That is ice cream of the future.
It says it right there.
You're denying progress.
It is ice cream. Once it denying progress. It is ice cream.
Once it melts, it's just ice cream.
It's just ice cream.
I don't want to wait until it melts.
Can you melt Dippin' Dots and reform it into ice cream?
It is.
It forms itself.
I thought it was ice cream.
Is it not ice cream?
It's just ice cream.
It's ice cream.
The ingredients are ice cream.
It is ice cream.
The ingredients are cream, ice.
Why wouldn't they call it ice cream?
Because ice cream is the future.
How do they get it into little balls like that?
That's the way they freeze it. probably plastic they use the process an alien crash
eating you're probably just eating the inside of a beanbag chair probably i would do that it's
delicious yeah i would too if it tasted like that i would do it yeah i think dib and dots are hard
to like because the only time they're ever available is stressful situation where there's
like a thousand dollars like as a zoo or like a six pack.
But they got them in vending machines now.
But always at stressful places.
It's like never a chill.
I guess you're right about that.
Have you guys had Dippin' Dots this decade in the 2020s?
Yeah.
Yes.
Really?
No, I haven't actually.
I haven't.
I actually told my son we don't eat Dippin' Dots yesterday when we went to 7-Eleven.
He saw Dippin' Dots?
Yeah.
I think I have.
And I was like, no, we go to the real stuff. I think I had him at the brewers game last year in the summer of i have not had
dots this decade sad it's a great question it's a question we're all gonna ponder on it needed to
be asked i'm glad you had the courage to ask it steven i'd like to see kelsey plummy to dip and
dot uh jay do you keep track of which foods you eat in which decades is no but i just
thought about i i was at a sporting event a week or two ago and i saw a dip and dots and i was like
why are those at a sporting like i thought those were kind of those are supposed to be the ice
cream the future but we're in their future so they're event based now they're zoos they're
they're parks they're they're they're out places but typically there will be other options in which
case i assume most people would prefer those other options, no? It's the ice cream of the future, boys.
How are we ever going to make a step...
It's been the ice cream of the future for 20 years.
The future's always ahead of us. That's the thing
about the future. It's always
still coming. Dippin' Dots are in beta.
They're only going to get more tech.
I think we're just going to come to a time
when we know it's the future when Dippin' Dots are everywhere.
I just don't like when they try to change
something that's already perfect.
If that makes me a criminal, put me in jail.
Do you eat ice cream in any other form?
Well, you have an ice cream bar.
Yeah.
Well, it seems like you've already done that.
Yeah, but that's still just ice cream.
So is Dippin' Dots.
No, they made it smaller.
But it's ice cream.
But you can eat more of it then because it's smaller. You' Dots. No, they made it smaller. But it's ice cream.
But you can eat more of it then because it's smaller.
You can always have one more dot.
And you can just eat more of the ice cream. Listen, you guys could talk.
You said this about the blue in the face.
I will never.
A hundred years ago, he would have said this about the forward pass.
Yeah.
He would have been like football with a pass.
No, heavens.
No.
Motorized vehicle.
Oh, we can't.
Ride my horse.
I mean, I actually.
Robinson character off the field. If a team actually decided to not do the Ford Pass,
they'd be pretty good right now.
So, yeah.
Not a pear salad.
Dots either.
Pear salad.
This looks worse.
This looks so gross.
Did you have the pear halves?
I don't know how big to make them.
No, no, no.
It's a half of a pear.
I don't want this at all.
It's supposed to be half of a pear. What am I doing?
Pass it around. This is
mincey with the grill. Can you show it?
Can you show it? It's fine. It's fine.
That is a pear half. Show it to the camera.
Get your
hands off my...
Go show it to the camera, Brandon.
What, did you just eat it all in one bite?
Oh, God. Not the lettuce. Don't touch the lettuce.
I don't know why there's lettuce. The lettuce acts as a plate.
Oh, big cat just took a whole.
It's giving me goosebumps.
Ew, this is fucking gross.
I can't.
Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.
Do you want it or not?
I mean, yeah, I'm going to do it.
I don't want it. Wait, can I ask Brandon'm going to do it. I don't want it.
Wait, can I ask Brandon?
You're eating it.
You're, like, enjoying it.
And this is something you really ate as a kid?
Ew.
Oh, my God.
No.
Oh, dude.
Dude, that is the worst.
Brandon, these suck, dude.
This is the worst food I've ever had.
It's just a straight shot of mayonnaise.
She chose bad pears. No, it's not the pears. It's just a straight shot of mayonnaise. He chose bad pears.
No, it's not the pears.
It's the mayonnaise.
Nothing.
I'll get it.
Oh, God.
Brandon, did you eat this?
I'm not a puker.
That almost made me want to puke.
Oh, it's so slippery.
It's so slippery.
It's just all you can taste is the mayonnaise.
Yeah, I tried one myself.
I thought it was the same thing.
Yeah, it's gross.
I got to call my mom. Where do you eat? Hold on. I got to call my mom. do you eat is that hold on i gotta call my
mom maybe i made them in jail maybe maybe maybe that was let me call my mom and ask her how she
made it how bad was that compared to what you usually have was that close oh my god that was
i gotta say how was it bad it's the it's i gotta y'all gonna let me ask my mama i like it and i'm
not just saying that to be like pregnant. Here's the thing.
Here's the thing.
I like mayonnaise.
I like mayonnaise on everything.
Like I hate when people hate on mayonnaise, but just a huge scoop of mayonnaise is too
much.
There was no, I think it was used too much cheese.
No, it's too much mayonnaise.
He said to add mayonnaise.
He did say to add mayonnaise.
I know.
Mama.
Mama.
What?
What?
What is it?
When you used to relax first of
all not a not an emergency well kind of okay hold on uh you're live d-yack okay um i'm just
matching your energy just relax okay all right listen listen when you used to make pear salad
when i didn't i like to eat pear salad when i was when i was a boy well shit i don't know mama no no pear salad you know pear salad i love pear salad how
how'd you make it you get pears you throw a little mayonnaise on them and some cheddar cheese
and that's all right a little mayonnaise how much mayonnaise
cherry floozy about it you can throw a cherry on it floozy about it, you can throw a cherry on it. Floozy about it? Floozy. Okay, well, how much mayonnaise?
If you were rich.
Like a spoonful.
Shit.
Okay, relax.
You ain't got to.
Just shut up.
That's what we had.
Matching your energy.
It wasn't good.
We had Chef Donnie make them, and they weren't very good.
I liked it.
Well, Chef Donnie didn't know what the hell he was doing.
Okay, well, what part did Chef Donnie screw up?
The pear, the mayonnaise, the cheese, or the cherry?
That's the only thing.
I used canned pears.
He used canned pears.
Okay, well, you have to drain them real good or they'll get watery.
Oh, maybe that's what the texture is.
They were wet.
Yeah.
And then you put the flopped mayonnaise on it, throw some cheese on it,
and it's not like it's rocket science here.
Okay, all right.
Well, you don't have to insult the man.
He's sitting right here. No, no, it's first for me well you don't have to insult the man he's sitting right here no it's it's first for me no he's not yeah he is sitting right here
chef donnie i apologize no i'm not insulted all right don't feel bad all right bye wait no no
how you doing mama we didn't ask you i'm doing great is this big cat yeah it's big cat i like that was rude of
brandon to just he's just hollering at you to tell you but i want you to know that during arch
madness my god i fell in love with your feet oh okay we can make a date for that oh my god i
actually mama they're still painted what yeah i just never got him off it's a problem okay mama that's it yes all right bye well brandon
i'm sorry i couldn't no it's okay it's okay it's okay next time it's still a weird combo no matter
what but if it's done right maybe it's good i'll try again it's not it is good no it's the man
there's two the text the mayonnaise there's i love mayonnaise i know what it tastes like when I was a kid.
The mayonnaise on its own is just too much.
How hungry were you as a kid?
That shit made me more depressed.
It was a depression era food.
Okay.
I told you all it was.
When's the last time you had it, a kid?
Probably 15 years ago.
Yeah, so maybe the memory's not the same.
When I was a little kid, a little bitty kid.
Yeah.
Did you like the like the texture
of just i think she's right you have to dry the pears out because it was slippery oh it was
slippery okay all right so try again tomorrow all right no no we're good i think we're fine
well i'll try with fresh pears i don't know yeah maybe a little less couple weeks what i don't i
what's the ceiling of this tolerable tolerable yeah edible yeah it's it'sible Yeah It's interesting I'll come back
I'll surprise you in a couple weeks
Did you try it Donnie?
Did you try it?
Yeah
I didn't
It wasn't the craziest thing
But it wasn't
The mayonnaise
You could say that it sucks
It's bad
Yeah it sucks
A bite of mayonnaise
Is not what you're looking for
Right
It's just
And I like mayonnaise too
It's just
A bite of it is weird
I hate
I actually
I like mayonnaise so much
I hate the people who Think they should hate on mayonnaise Yeah is weird. I like mayonnaise so much I hate the people who
think they should hate on mayonnaise.
Those people suck. I like mayonnaise.
It's great. But too much.
Too much is on its own
too. It can't be a solo thing.
We're doing something later but are you
ranch or blue cheese? Blue cheese.
Perfect. See you guys.
See ya. We'll talk later.
Yeah, my toenails are still painted
that was two months ago i i guess i could take them off i just haven't i've been too lazy to
why would i don't really notice them i actually noticed them the other day because i've i've done
a good job of not having my kids see it yeah has nobody in your house said well no and then i my
like my son got out of bed at like four in the morning i put him
back into bed and he's saw and he's like i want to paint my toenails oh no he could never have
very slow i've seen more and more guys i'm gonna get canceled by like libs of tiktok yeah well
you're it's all there it's all there to do with caleb williams now no i swear i've seen more guys
with nail polish on.
And guys who I wouldn't typically think would have it on.
I'm like, oh, he's got his nails painted.
My Uber driver this morning hates Caleb Williams.
What?
Yep.
Give me his name.
Eugene.
No, Ernest.
Why?
Why does he hate him?
Because he's gay.
Eugene is?
No, Caleb Williams is.
But my Uber driver is also eating fish and chips
this morning in the car. What time did you get here?
8.30.
Oh. Yeah.
That's one of the straighter things you can do.
Have fish and chips when you wake up.
And just be grumbling about a
gay quarterback.
He's going to eat him alive.
That's the manliest man in the world.
Wait, so who do you think was the problem?
Did Kelsey want more cream pies or did Darren Waller want to do more cream pies?
The popcorn is the problem.
I think it was the pie.
You got to quit with the popcorn.
She was trying to be goofy for the camera.
And it came off as ick.
It's kind of like if you were dating the I Am Snacking Girl.
Same vibe video.
Nobody in here would not date the I Am Snacking Girl.
What is she doing?
You were married.
I would date her.
You're married.
You're no better than Darren Waller.
Hourly cheating on your wife.
That's crazy.
She's an internet celebrity.
Who?
It would be fine.
The I Am Snacking Girl.
Has she had any other bangers since then?
No
You just brought her back yesterday?
Today?
You
You did the I Am Snacking thing
No
You didn't tweet that out today?
Did I make that up?
Yeah she
No the nuggets
The nuggets one
After the nuggets part
Yeah that's I Am Snacking right?
I follow her
Oh really?
Yeah but it was relevant
Because of the nuggets
Denver Nuggets
You can tweet that everyday fat fuck I'm snacking. I follow her. Oh, really? Yeah, but it was relevant because of the nuggets. Denver nuggets.
You can tweet that every day, fat fuck.
I didn't have nuggets today, thank you.
What?
Yet.
I think you have pear salad in your throat.
I had a Chick-fil-A sandwich.
Oh, okay.
I apologize.
And I didn't get the fries.
I got the mac and cheese.
Nice.
Mac and cheese is underrated.
I don't have... Sorry for losing my cool. Do I have pear throat? I'm okay. No, and cheese is underrated. I don't have... Do I have a pear throat?
I'm okay. No, I think you're good.
How do you mourn
the death of a grocery store?
Is that what it is? A grocery store?
Foxtrot. And Dom's.
Wait, Foxtrot's?
I just got a smoothie there this morning.
All of them?
Yep. 180 million
in debt. Fo? Holy shit.
And Doms are two different-
They merged six months ago.
Okay.
So the-
Okay.
The employees were locked out.
That's what I'm saying, Titus.
I'm dealing with this right now.
Well, now I am too.
Yeah.
This is-
Losing a grocery store is a big deal.
A huge deal.
Yeah.
And I've known the-
I knew the Foxtrot guy from when he started the company
because they used to give me money when I would lose money gambling
and would just post something on Instagram.
Nice.
So I love them.
They got me through some tough times.
Damn.
But now they're gone.
I didn't realize that.
Yeah, it just happened like an hour ago.
They put up signs being like, we're about to close.
I got a smoothie there earlier this morning.
And then that was it. Closing all locations. Yeah, I'm hoping to close. I got a smoothie there earlier this morning. And then that was it.
Closing all locations.
Yeah, I'm hoping someone maybe.
I don't know.
I mean, listen, I love Foxtrot.
But, like, if someone just buys that building and runs, like, basically the same business, just calls it something different, I don't know how much I'm going to care.
Like, if they.
What about, like, a retro pizza hut?
Is it only once?
Oh.
Foxtrot, one of my favorite funny paper comics.
Oh.
Great comic, yeah.
I can't name anything about Foxtrot,
but I'm aware it exists.
The Teen Boy was funny.
Yeah.
Was that usually right beside the Lockhorns?
It depends on your paper,
because some paper,
like I always had Sir Galliant.
Fuck that.
Never liked that comic.
I like Slylock Fox.
Anybody remember Goofus and Gallant?
I never had Goofus and Gallant. That was in the Highlights magazine. Oh, oh. I like Slylock Fox. Anybody remember Goofus and Gallant? I never had Goofus and Gallant.
That was in the Highlights magazine.
Oh, oh.
I just like the picture find there.
Yeah.
I think it was a COVID thing, Titus.
I think that's what fucked it because it was like the reverse COVID.
Everyone ordered Foxtrot during COVID.
Oh.
And once COVID ended.
Now we don't need Foxtrot.
Now you don't need it.
Damn.
But it doesn't just reduce back to pre-COVID
levels of business? Damn.
No, because they just did this big funding and merger.
Yeah, you can't go back.
Awesome. You can't go back.
They had good cookies. Was it one store or a chain of them?
Multiple. There was tons of them.
In multiple cities, too. Dallas,
Austin.
Oh, this is nationwide.
Yeah. Texas, D.C. Oh, that stinks. Let's get Wawa is nationwide. Yeah. Texas, D.C.
Oh, that stinks.
Let's get Wawa on here.
Yeah.
Let's get Wawa on here.
They had to kick out shoppers at a Lincoln Park to close?
Yeah.
Well, they could have let them finish it.
Oh, my God.
I was just at the one in Old Town this morning.
Oh, I hope they do a sale.
Sounds like they closed, though.
All their items.
I want to win Dominic's.
You can get some peanut butter that ain't going out until next month.
I think the CEO of Dominic's, which used to be a grocery store in Chicago,
was part of Foxtrot, so that's why it was Dom's.
And when they liquidated, I bought a sick two-seater bench.
That seems dramatic to kick people out.
Yeah, right?
I'm going to kick people out. Yeah, right?
Finish the transaction.
I will say Pete's is a great grocery store.
If you have.
What is this?
Oh, cool.
Hey, it's Bobby's right.
Wait, I want that.
Don't birthday gift.
I think there's one more coming.
Yeah, pretty nice. That is awesome. It's one more coming. That's pretty nice.
That is awesome.
That's a good piece.
That's going right in mostly.
No, that might go home.
Let me see.
Yeah, that should go home. Birthday gift.
That's a classy one.
The other one.
This goes home.
The other one's in mostly.
I got two?
Yeah.
Okay.
That one should be at, do you have any hallways in your house?
No, I will replace our family photo with it.
Put that above the guest room toilet.
Yes.
No.
Yeah, that's perfect.
Because he's pointing down.
Brandon, let me handle this for you.
Kill yourself, Titus.
Wow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That is what I was going to say.
I love Bobby the Brain Heater.
He's your guy.
That's who I'm pretending to be.
Yeah, that is your entire character is based off him.
But has it bled into your real personality?
Yeah, pretty much.
Yeah.
Do you forget what it's like to be normal?
You know, normal is a spectrum.
Yeah.
How did he die?
Throat cancer.
Awful death.
Too much pussy eating?
No, by the end of his life, he lost half his
jaw. Terribly deformed looking guy.
But his wife, she died
too. How'd she die?
Don't know.
Was it Michael Douglas that got throat
cancer from eating pussy?
Does that mean that Catherine Zeta-Jones' pussy
is toxic?
Not toxic, but
cancerous? Maybe like radioactive. Still would. Does that mean that Catherine Zeta-Jones pussy is toxic? Not toxic, but...
Cancerous?
Maybe like radioactive.
Still would.
Yeah!
Radioactive pussy.
Intriguing at the least.
Could get a superpower.
Radioactive pussy?
If you bang somebody with it.
What would be a pussy related
superpower
being able to shoot bullets out of it
fair enough
like a spider man string
yeah
spider man string
she's swinging from the buildings
oh my god
what was poison ivy
in the Batman universe?
Yeah, that was pussy related.
Wasn't she just like, didn't she have a poisonous pussy or something?
Yeah, I think she did.
It made your dick itchy.
She had a poisonous pussy?
I thought that was her whole thing.
She was a seductress.
She was a seductress.
Is that just chlamydia?
Does that make, that's more of a burn.
She had an STD.
Okay.
There are itchy STDs.
Yeah, Brandon? Not burny ones.
What you got?
There are burns and itches, right?
Crabs.
Yeah.
Is crabs, is that just one shave and you're good?
I don't.
No, no.
It's much more.
That's part of it.
Is it like lice where you have to put mayonnaise down there?
Yeah.
Oh, fuck.
Pear salad.
They used to check for crabs at school.
The nurse would run a comb right above my little tuft.
Popsicle stick.
Oh, yeah.
Any of your kids got lice ever, Brandon?
No.
No.
How widespread is that?
However, if they had, I definitely would say no.
When I was a kid, I remember being like a B.
We would check for lice all the time.
They have to check us.
I never met anybody that's ever gotten it.
I had it.
But it seems pretty rare.
I did.
Nice to meet you.
Clay Travis' kids.
Oh, yeah.
That was one of the greatest cell phones of all time.
When he's like, Delta won't let my kids on the plane because they have lice.
Your kids have lice?
Gross, dude.
Also, why would he tell the air people that?
Yeah.
What a wild move.
He really thought the internet would be like, yeah, dude.
Yeah, that's a good point, K.
If your kids have lice and you want them on the plane, don't tell.
What?
Just get them on the plane.
Unless they're walking around with that weird shampoo in their hair.
Yeah.
For the record, I only had it once.
Chicken pox doesn't exist anymore either.
I never had it.
I had it.
I did.
I never had it.
Kids aren't getting chicken pox.
Nope.
Interesting.
Right during baseball season.
I still have a couple scars because I was a scratcher.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
We did the exposure thing.
Yeah, you just put it together.
One kid get them, the chicken pox party.
Yeah, everyone get it together.
Did I bathe in oatmeal?
I did once.
I got poison sumac around my asshole.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, man.
You've said that before.
Sat down in grass.
Calamine lotion was for?
Oh, yeah.
It would turn you pink.
Calamine.
We don't really do calamine lotion.
Calamine is a bad word.
I don't like that word.
Why?
I don't know.
I don't like the word calamine.
Sounds like calamine.
What's wrong with calamine?
I'm cool with it.
I don't really love it.
I think it's properly rated. It would be a good roller coaster word. Calamine. You's wrong with Calamine? I'm cool with it. I don't really love it. I think it's properly rated.
It would be a good roller coaster word.
Calamine.
You start with a C.
Like on a mine track?
You have one big loop.
Yeah.
Oh, a roller coaster word.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Words in cursive, that would be a good roller coaster.
I feel like an Arkansas booster is definitely going to name the boat that.
Calamine.
Yeah.
That's exactly right.
Do they have boats?
Are we not like Ozarks?
Ozarks.
Hello.
I forgot about the Ozarks.
I forgot about the Ozarks.
Hello.
This is actually earth-bearing.
It's really embarrassing for Brandon.
He forgot about the Ozarks.
Lake of the Ozarks is in Missouri. I understand, but
it stretches to Arkansas, does it not?
Can we see the Ozarks?
I also need that Clay Travis tweet.
There are some Ozarks in Arkansas.
The mountains. They're lake people.
But I think the Lake of the Ozarks is exclusively
Missouri. But they all go
there.
Okay.
You forgot about the Ozarks? I didn't forget. I never forget about the Ozarks. I would never forget. Quit telling people I forget about the Ozarks. I always remember
the Ozarks. I know all mountain ranges and whatnot and hills
in this great...
That's Arkansas. That's the mountains. That's not the
lake. I said the lake is exclusively in Missouri.
Well, the watershed begins in the mountains.
Okay.
Okay.
Where are the lakes?
It's just one lake.
It's called the Lake of the Ozarks.
No, but then they go everywhere, don't they?
Is that it beside Branson?
Yeah.
You ever been to Conway, Arkansas?
Look, see?
They stretch everywhere.
See?
They're all spindly and everything.
That's not. You don't know what you're looking at. Look, Holiday Island. It everywhere. See? They're all spindly and everything. That's not...
You don't know what you're looking at.
Look, Holiday Island.
It goes right down to Holiday Island.
That's not the Ozarks.
That's the Ozarks.
Ozarks is a hill region.
It's not...
Ozarks does not refer to the lakes.
It refers to the hills.
Is that the lake?
What is that lake called?
Can't we just Google where's Lake of the Ozarks?
You forgot about the Ozarks.
It's a straw man.
I love saying that.
Don't know what it means. It's a straw man. I love saying that. Don't know what it means.
It's where it is.
It's in Missouri. Wait, pull it out.
Cash that ticket.
Hold on. That's the lake?
That doesn't look like it. That's a river.
That's a river. That's not a lake.
Not a lake. Look at that. Not even close to Arkansas.
Well. Not even
fucking close to Arkansas. Holy shit. What was that other thing we were looking at? Those are even close to Arkansas. Well. Not even fucking close to Arkansas.
Holy shit.
What was that other thing we were looking at?
Those are mountains.
That was a big ass lake too.
Northwest Arkansas is beautiful.
That was my statement about the state.
Beaver Lake was what I was talking about.
No you weren't.
Beaver Lake is by Fayetteville.
You forgot about Beaver Lake? Beaver Lake. That I was talking about. No, you weren't. Beaver Lake is by Fayetteville. You forgot about Beaver Lake?
Beaver Lake.
Simple mistake.
That's, god damn it.
Can't believe I screwed that up.
Beavers will destroy a lake in a heartbeat.
All right, I apologize, Brandon.
I'll take back my pinky.
You didn't forget about the Lake of the Ozarks.
Also, I want to apologize to Steven.
I have an apology to Steven.
Whoa.
Whoa.
I went to the grocery store last week. He's too happy. Yeah, you know what? I'm not going to Steven. I have an apology to Steven. Whoa. Whoa. I went to the grocery store last week.
He's too happy.
Yeah, you know what?
I'm not going to apologize.
Fuck that.
Did you see his face?
Yeah, fuck that.
I'm not going to apologize.
He got happy just on the mention of the apology.
I think I know what you're going to say.
What was he going to say?
I stood outside the Olive Bar for like 20 minutes trying to get a picture of someone using it,
and no one used it.
Nobody used the Olive Bar.
Yeah.
I was literally there just to prove Steven wrong, and it just didn't happen.
I actually was at a grocery store this weekend as well and went to the olive bar.
Nobody showed up.
I took a picture, but I didn't send it to you guys.
He might have been right.
He might have been right on that one.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Sucks.
Obviously, people use it, or they wouldn't still do it.
It would be a waste of money.
I actually, I'm kind of with Stephen.
I think they just have it just to have it.
Is it a front for something?
Yeah.
What would an olive bar be a front for?
I don't know.
Drugs.
Did the grocery stores that closed today have olive bars?
Yep.
Oh, my God.
No, you're not linking that to the smoking gun.
That is a smoking gun.
They're not criminals.
Hey, you're on to something, but I don't think you should dig any deeper, brother.
That would be funny in the press release.
They're like, we're $180 million in debt, mostly because of our olive bars.
Are they swapping those out every day?
Way too many olives.
You can't get rid of them.
There's no way they're refreshing the olives.
There's no way.
I don't see it.
We're liquidizing all of our olives.
Come get the oil.
Do olives go bad?
Olives, yeah.
Are they a vegetable? Yeah. I love olives. They certainly go bad, rightives, the vegetables, yeah, are they a vegetable?
Yeah.
I love olives.
They certainly go bad, right?
I don't know.
I feel like you put them
in a vat of their own oil.
Oh, that's right, they do.
They'll sit on that shelf forever.
They'll sit there forever, right?
Is that because they're jarred, though?
Two years.
Jarred olives.
Damn.
Oh, my God.
That's a long time.
18 months, even once you open it.
Every time I go to LaGuardia, I sit down at this restaurant and get a bowl of olives.
That was very filly of you.
What restaurant?
I don't know.
The Olive one?
I don't know.
It's pretty good, though.
The Olive Bar.
The Olive Garden?
No, Steve.
God damn you.
Titus?
No.
I'm in a good mood, and I would like to continue to be in a good mood.
Do y'all ever just like to go to a good chain restaurant?
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
Oh, yes.
I know you're in a town.
You want to go to a nice restaurant.
Sometimes.
The other day, I just wanted to go to Red Lobster.
They're closing, too.
What?
Really?
They did an all-bottomless shrimp thing, and they didn't-
No.
I swear to God.
You read an Onion article.
No, no, no.
What?
Okay, did you get gut that the bottom was shrimp? and they didn't know. I swear to God. You read an audience article. No, no, no. Okay.
Did you get got that?
The bottom was shrimp.
You thought Red Lobster was closing because they did a bottomless shrimp and fat to fat
people came and then they went.
Let's look this up.
It was like 11 billion in debt.
Oh, thank you.
From endless shrimp.
Holy shit.
Get off my dick everyone.
Holy shit. How is that a real headline?
Thank you.
The bottomless shrimp got him. Shake the seafood restaurant.
I apologize.
That's incredible.
That should be huge news.
That's the most America headline.
That's the funniest shit ever.
And you know it's some fucking idiot in sales.
Yeah.
Reeled in too many customers.
Some guy named Ryan was like, what if we do Endless Shrimp?
Yeah.
All right.
How expensive is shrimp?
ABC News has reached out to Red Lobster for comment.
Wait, what did it say at the bottom?
Red Lobster's Thailand-based investor, Thai Union.
Oh.
The Thai got involved.
There's some boardroom meeting in New York, and they're like, how much shrimp do you think?
What's the most amount of shrimp you can eat?
I don't know, like two plates?
Maybe two plates full of shrimp.
Yeah, that's fine.
We'll be all right.
Run the numbers on that.
What a headline.
Yeah.
The middle American cracks his knuckles.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Okay. Here we go. Oh, American cracks his knuckles. Oh yeah. Oh really?
Parents are homeschooling from there.
Never leaving.
But I legitimately
like, Chili's is
like a top five restaurant. I got a steak from
Chili's like three weeks ago. My family went to Chili's
a couple weeks ago. We just had to have Chili's.
My birthday's at Chili's.
Go anywhere. Chili's.
Fucking love Chili's.
You mentioned Pizza Hut.
I would kill to go have a Pizza Hut buffet right now.
Did you see the retro Pizza Hut they opened?
Did they?
Yeah.
I'm all...
Got the red glasses?
Look at the red glasses?
Yeah.
And the lights and everything.
They have the clock that says pizza time.
It's like, I don't know why they don't...
Nostalgia is the strongest drug in the world.
Remember the old breadsticks they had? Oh, yeah.
On the salad bar? Oh, man. Those, I'd
grab a handful of them, motherfucker. With the sauce?
It always came out so hot. I had a few
birthday parties there. Look at this.
Look at this place.
Look at this place. God damn.
That's great. Look at that glass.
I go there every day. Even that guy is retro.
Yeah. That guy's retro. Yeah, these guys are all retro. Look at that glass. I go there every day. Even that guy is retro. Yeah. That guy's retro.
Yeah, these guys are all retro.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
They need to bring that back.
Oh, book it.
You guys do book it?
Yeah.
Yes, we can.
Oh, man.
Dude, I actually think if they brought back Blockbuster, it would work.
It would.
Yeah, we wouldn't take it for granted this time.
I think we would treat it well.
We'd be excited to have Blockbuster back i actually yeah i think walking around and just having like a finite amount of yeah of what were they called vhs's yeah seeing them in front of
you seeing them in front of you but it's only like you're the perfect age to know what a vhs
fucking uh you have the mystery section and there's only like five options and you're
like,
all right,
I guess we got to pick one.
Cause right now,
like the streaming,
there's,
there's,
there's almost too many.
I mean,
we all do it.
Like how many,
how often do you,
you want to watch a movie and you spend like 45 minutes flipping through
everything.
Yep.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think blockbuster would solve that.
I think just having a brick and mortar and you never,
you never even end up picking a movie. You just end up going
re-watching fucking Desperate Housewives. See what those ladies
on Wisteria are. Nothing worse than when you showed
up and there was just no VHS's behind it.
Yeah. Oh yeah.
Then you would luck out and you would go past the
counter and there'd be one sitting there that just got returned
and you could get it. That was a
great feeling. When you bought a video game from
Toys R Us, did you have to lift up the flap and take
the paper and then take it to that vault? No, we hit and said the... It was like a guy working in a great feeling. When you bought a video game from Toys R Us, did you have to lift up the flap and take the paper and then take it to that vault?
No, we hit and sent the...
It was like a guy working in the glass booth.
You had to hand him your paper and he would go get you the game.
It would be an empty, it would be empty like case.
That, I, I, mine was you flipped it up and took a piece of like paper.
Oh, mine was like an empty case in like a plastic case and then you'd go and they'd
fill it.
Okay, yeah.
Put it in.
And it was like a guy in a, it was almost like a pharmacy.
Yeah.
That was cool.
Man, nostalgia.
We used to rent video games from Blockbuster because we couldn't afford to buy them.
Dude.
And so we would like play, we would have like marathon, my brother and I would do like marathon
sessions where we would try to like beat the video game over like three installments of
renting it because we couldn't afford to buy the whole thing but we'd have like the memory cards we just play
for like 12 hours at a time save it take it back then the next weekend we'd rent it again yep dude
i remember where we left off my my parents were like they i'm they i actually like look back i'm
like that was actually smart of them like they were not they're like waited a long time for me
to get my first video game console which was smart yeah so but i wanted it so bad so like for like my 10th birthday i had i rented a sega genesis
like rented it for the weekend yeah that was my birthday dvd players and vhs and i brought it i
remember i we had to go to like a uh party like or something and i brought it with me and went to
the people in the basement and just kept on playing nhL 94. I was like, I have one weekend
to do this. I'm not giving up
any time. That's a perfect memory.
I was just like, you guys got a TV here?
I brought my own.
I had a briefcase.
I rented it on Friday. I had to give it back
Sunday. I was like, I'm playing every second.
They had it in that suitcase.
There was always a video
game kid at the birthday party that was not getting off the console.
Oh, yeah.
Every party, just some kid locked in.
He's like, this is my time.
And then when I finally got one, I think it was a PlayStation 1 for my birthday, my dad
bought me the holder, and I unwrapped it, and it was just the holder, and he let that
joke go for like an hour, just torturing me.
He was like, what?
You wanted the PlayStation? It was just the holder. He was like, what? You wanted the PlayStation.
It was just the holder.
I was like, I can't believe you fucked this up.
That's probably why I'm twisted.
That is.
He was just trolling a 12-year-old.
He was literally just trolling a 12-year-old.
At Christmas.
On his birthday.
On my birthday.
I'm so fucking twisted.
That's why I'm so twisted.
Apparently Air One, the very expensive L.A. grocery store, is buying all the Foxtrot locations.
What?
Fuck that. Wait, you just found this out? all the Foxtrot locations. What? Fuck that.
Wait, you just found this out?
That's what I'm reading.
But that's good.
No.
No, because that place is expensive.
No, they're going to make it so expensive.
Yeah, but they might just continue them as old as they are.
They do have a lot of hot people at them.
Oh, yeah.
Are you an Air One guy?
No.
You've never lived in LA, have you?
No.
Cali Titus.
I bet you they don't have wings there.
I'm sorry. Do you guys not like hot people? No,., have you? No. Cali Titus. I bet you they don't have wings there. I'm sorry.
Do you guys not like hot people?
No, I don't.
No.
I got bad news for you.
You ever heard of bullying?
Some of us here.
I got bad news.
I don't think they're shipping the air one people here.
No, they have to.
You put an air one and the hot people just flock to it.
People just get the tote bag for $10.
Get ready to go to air one with a 300-pound guy checking out named Vinny.
Yeah.
Can't be.
No.
Impossible.
With 50 bucks worth of olives.
Yeah, there's going to – yeah.
No way.
This Air One, you're going to be asking for crackers and –
Air One is hot people with rich daddies.
Nice broad-shouldered Kevin's going to help.
That's what we're going to be doing.
Scratching his nuts as he's checking you out.
It's somewhere
no but it is good because
just from like a
we don't want 30
empty locations
you know what I mean like someone's gotta fill it
otherwise that would suck
if you just had vacant spots everywhere
but again they're buying the
I don't know they might just continue running them as their own separate business.
True. Good point.
They might now just own that.
They're just buying their debt.
Yeah.
They might just be buying it and then just continuing to run it.
Or it could just be like, yeah, Foxtrot is going to still be Foxtrot.
Right.
It's just Air One owns it.
But that's...
Right.
Presented by Air One.
Yeah.
Presented by Air One.
Air One is like the parent company, but it's like Foxtrot. The branding is still the same. Titus, that's right that's presented by air one yeah yeah like presented by everyone like everyone is like the parent company but it's like foxtrot the branding still the same
that's what i said erin's just doing like uh i liked what he said they're just doing one
titus if you're right i'm going to flip that's crazy everyone's just doing a bar on foxtrot's
feature yeah yeah yeah exactly yeah that's all it is yeah i don't think they just call it ugly
arrow one that's not a bad idea no i think they're just going to continue the same business.
Just Erewhon now owns them corporately.
Brandon, I think you're a little lost.
Why don't you do the game time act?
You've got to get yourself back.
Get your mind right, Brandon.
Get your mind right, buddy.
See you, Moop.
Did you know that you can get tickets to...
Why are you hollering?
Did you know that you can get tickets to Bucks Pacers Game 2 tonight for just $35?
That's right.
Thanks to Game Time, the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports.
You shouldn't have to worry when you buy your next tickets to your big...
You shouldn't have to worry when you buy tickets to your next big event. GameTime is the
fast and easy way to buy tickets to all the sports, the music, the comedy, the theater events near you
they have. Flash deals for sudden discounts, zone deals for when you're feeling flexible,
and their lowest price guarantee, which means that if you can find the same seats for less
anywhere else, GameTime will credit you 110%
of the difference. GameTime
is the best place for last-minute seats with up to
60% off your favorite events.
Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with GameTime.
Download the GameTime app, create an account,
use code YAK. For $20 off your
first purchase, terms apply.
Nothing? Nobody?
You did really good. Oh, yeah.
Two things I have to say.
Thank you.
You're good at what you do.
Going to Wrigley tonight because of game time.
Tate and I are going on a date.
Whoa.
Tate date.
It's a little Tate date.
Oh, nice.
Who are they playing?
The Astros.
I like to have some fun with it and call them the ass.
Did you bring a garbage can?
Oh, yeah.
Did you bring your recycling can? Oh, yeah. Did you bring your recycling bin?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Right there?
Yeah.
By the way, just because I know that was the worst situation for you yesterday,
my kids did laugh when I showed them a picture.
Oh, it's all worth it.
Yeah.
Because the earthquake is big in, like, the schools.
Yeah.
And that's who I do it for is the kids.
Yeah.
It is.
TJ, will you pull up that link I sent sent you what do we guys ever see this yeah
also there's a Viva post I'm sure people would love to get your thoughts on oh what do we got
here oh what what can you confirm or deny that's whoa wait He's not following me
What?
What happened?
Belt to ass
Yeah, what happened?
What'd I miss?
Did he ever?
Should I call him?
Yeah
Yeah
I think because I said that
The Celtics would have
People were very upset about this
They said if the Celtics played the Bucs
The Bucs would have the best player in the series
But the Celtics would probably have the next three or four best players.
Like I would take Tatum, Brown, Porzingis,
and maybe even Drew Holiday over Dame?
That's.
No, no, no.
That's.
Yeah, I mean that's.
I might have.
You know what I'm going to do?
Unfollow Big Cat.
I think I'm going to unfollow Big Cat.
Yeah, McCall, McCall.
Two maybe. Dame's really fucking good. That's crazy. Don would say two, maybe. You know what I'm going to do? Unfollow Big Cat. I think I'm going to unfollow Big Cat. Yeah, I'm going to call him. Two, maybe.
Dame's really fucking good.
That's crazy.
Don't sleep on Derek White.
Derek White, he doesn't play defense.
He's not going to pick up, right?
Fuck, he's not going to pick up.
I think he might be at shoot-around now.
Why did he do this?
Maybe Rome?
You and Steve got into a sports debate on Twitter.
I was tagged in the first one, ruined my night.
Oh, yeah, you guys went back and forth.
Back and forth, back and forth. Also, I don't want to be team big cat on this just for the sake of it but
you had way too many superstars steven shea yeah i think you're so wrong yeah the definition is
different i'm looking at it as superstar they're stars and they're superstars sure but my i think
my ultimate argument is if jalen brunson's not a superstar but he makes first team all nba
does that still hold up but then somebody said uh yokim noah made first team all NBA. Does that still hold up? But then somebody said Yoakim Noah made first team all NBA.
Like a lot of these, I don't know that.
That's just too many superstars.
I don't know if Anthony Edwards is a superstar yet.
He's on his way.
On his way.
Halliburton's certainly not a superstar yet.
He could be on his way.
Donovan Mitchell is not a superstar.
He's a star.
No, yeah.
It's such a simple, like, a superstar is five to seven guys.
Also, Kyrie is closer to a superstar than most of the guys you named.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Kyrie is a bigger star than Halliburton.
And Kyrie is a closer superstar than Jalen Brunson.
Yeah.
Jalen Brunson is a better player than Kyrie.
That's not the question.
That's not what the question is.
And also.
So why would a player that's worse right now not be.
Oh, my God.
We have to explain this to him?
I mean, you had one.
Jalen Brunson.
I like Jalen Brunson a lot.
He's had one, like, first team all NBA season that doesn't just immediately make him a superstar.
Who's his second option on his team?
Dante DiVincenzo. That's not what
a superstar is.
Also like off the court stuff, right?
It's your aura.
It's also like people who don't watch the NBA
be like, oh yes, I know who that is.
That's him, yeah. Oh fuck, that's Jalen
Brunson. You show a picture
of Jalen Brunson to a casual sports fan, most of
them aren't guessing who it is. I'll be
honest, I have no idea who the fuck that is.
Next best player. Sorry.
He's torching us. He is a star.
He's a very good player. Oh, sure.
That's right. We taped a dozen
last night, and Big Cat and I talked about it before.
I understand his logic
for sure. I'm standing for my next guy.
We taped a dozen,
and it was right after the
Knicks-Sixers game.
Oh wait, Pat's calling me back.
Wait.
What happened?
It's a catastrophe.
What happened?
ESPN,
they told me don't follow you anymore.
What?
Yeah, that's what they told me. They told me if I wanted to stay in the NBA, I had to part my ties away from Barstool. What?
Just specifically me?
Okay, all right.
This wasn't anything to do with talking about if you guys played the Celtics?
All right. So we're good good so who else did you say patrick if you want if you want a long lasting contract for espn throughout
your future you have to unfollow big cat and barstool and i was like i'll think about it
but they just say i have to follow you back so i'll push unfollow then i'll follow you right
back all right we're back we're back we're back. We're back. We're back.
All right, I was scared for a moment there.
No, no, no, no. We locked in like young thugs.
All right, bell to ask.
When's the next game?
Tonight?
No, tomorrow.
Tonight?
Love, gang.
Love, love, love.
Let's go.
All right, I'm backing you up.
I'm going to bet the bucks tonight.
No comment.
Yeah, yeah, from you.
Yeah, you can't talk about that
he got out of that well yeah yeah by possibly lying i don't know he doesn't follow you
oh that's he does now oh he does okay oh he unfollowed Roan as well, so he unfollowed Roan.
Whoa, he actually did have to.
Whoa.
Wait.
As of like 20 minutes ago, he was following Roan.
What is the conspiracy?
ESPN, yeah.
ESPN is telling NBA players to not follow anybody.
Yeah, I'm cool with that.
Oh, shit. LeBron unfollowed me
no
there's no way
maybe there is something to this
he doesn't follow me either
we're back
oh damn
sad
but now
oh oh
Fasoli to the rescue
thank god what did Fasoli do Fasoli to the rescue thank god what does solely do but solely to the rescue
got a ride for my guy it's always follow big cat thank you for solely what would it take for
solely to unfollow big cat i don't i don't think anything it would just have to be for solely next
of kin on following big cat after solely dies yeah that would that's the only issue because
nothing on this earth is going to get
Fasoli to unfollow Big Cat.
No. He's riding that meat forever.
What, Titus?
Titus, you've told us...
No, I'm laughing about Fasoli.
It seems like you told yourself an internal joke that was hilarious.
No, I was just listening to what you were saying
about Fasoli.
Just doing my job.
I don't know if I followed him back.
Who, Fasoli? Yeah, my job. I don't know if I followed him back. Who, Fasoli?
Yeah, we got caught up in that whirlwind
of everybody's unfollowing him.
Yeah, I don't know if I did.
He's our director on our movie.
That's right.
Are we doing the posters today?
Oh yeah, we have to unveil the posters.
On the air?
Oh, my Aunt Peg gave glowing reviews of you.
Yeah.
You were lovely.
Yeah.
That's nice.
We did leave without telling her we were leaving,
so I wonder how long she wondered if we were still there.
A long time.
She's off the buds.
She's off the bottle of buds.
She's on the course.
She's on course.
Yeah.
Good for her.
She's told us that before she said hello.
I bet.
I bet she did.
Sorry, that can't actually be the truth with Pat.
He was fucking around right
He just unfollowed me to fuck around
There's no way that's the truth
Is there a war going on
Brandon are you okay
Yeah wait that was
He's in pain
I'm worried about him
Yeah he's got gout.
Yeah.
That's the disease of kings.
Ah.
What happens to gout?
Your toe gets fat?
Yeah, you get a big-ass foot, right?
I think large has it.
Yeah, it's from meat and wine.
Oh, well, yeah.
Yeah.
And that's different from the diabetes getting your foot cut off thing.
Yeah, I think so.
Okay. You can have both. Yeah, I think so. Okay.
You can have both.
Oh, for sure.
Okay.
Yeah, so we are supposed to unveil our team's posters today.
Oh.
And Kate, I saw yours and it looks sick.
It ended up Tomlay.
He's awesome.
Is awesome.
He does a lot of the out of order stuff here.
He like pulled
it all together and yeah he's really really good he's doing this right now and he's cool where's
the hoop earring he is cool and him and Harrison Ford are the only guys I know that can do it yeah
he sounds like big J.O. Crescent he's got a great voice well yeah I think he's been spoken cigarettes
since he was like eight yeah which is also very cool. No, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
I'm a little nervous.
When are we doing the red carpet?
Friday?
Friday, three to five.
Are you guys dressing up?
What's the vibe?
Certainly not.
Okay.
Hey, wear a gown.
I'm just thinking about it, yeah.
Three to five.
I think Fights is coming in on Friday for it.
So I texted him. He said he's going to just be here Monday, I think. I think Fights is coming in on Friday for it. So I text him.
He said he's going to just be here Monday, I think.
Oh, but last night we said Friday.
Text him today.
Well, Ron will still be here.
Monday.
Are you guys all in that on Monday?
Yeah.
We're doing a...
Oh, I'm doing that.
We're doing a video shoot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We have to skate.
Yep.
A hockey skills competition.
I never ice skated.
Unreal Ice.
It's going to be one of the funniest, dumbest videos ever.
They said you need, the email said,
everybody's doing this unless you can't skate or something like that.
Whoa.
I can't.
And I just said I can't skate.
I was text about it, and I said I can't do it, and they said that's fine.
Oh.
I know nothing about this.
It was an email about, it was like two months ago.
Like the email was a while ago.
Oh, really?
Wow.
Hmm.
And I've never even attempted to ice skate in life.
Really?
They don't have a lot of ice in Mississippi.
And you lived in New York.
You lived in Chicago.
You lived on a lake.
I've taken the kids to ice skate.
You say that like you haven't left your home county ever in your life.
I wish I hadn't.
Clay County.
I go to the roller rink a lot.
You worked there, didn't you?
No, I worked at Laser Tag.
But which was inside the roller rink, was it not?
It was mini golf, laser tag, and an inflatable.
I found a good mini golf laser tag place.
Foggy Bottom.
Foggy Bottom?
Mm-hmm.
That sounds mysterious.
It was.
They had haunted houses, too.
A good one?
Three.
A good one?
That's the burger places there?
No burger place there.
And Foggy Bottom?
There was no Foggy Bottom.
Did they have a Melty's?
Melty's was a club.
Club.
No, it was...
It was a root beer float spot.
Oh, okay.
I'm thinking of the Chum Bucket.
You're thinking of the Chum Bucket, yeah.
That was...
That was the Kini Bucket.
That was the Kini Bucket.
Simple mistake.
Yeah, that guy Plankton.
Yeah, my boss.
The dickhead manager, yeah.
I hated him.
Fucking scumbag.
The guy that voices Plankton, no.
The guy that voices Mr. Krabs was the bad warden in Shawshank.
And was he also the one?
But Patrick was.
Was it Starship Troopers?
Was he?
I don't know.
I love that movie.
Okay.
Patrick was Dauber from Coach.
Yeah.
That's the warden?
That's the warden.
Look at him.
That's Byron Hatton. Oh, I was thinking of.
Not the warden.
Warden Norton.
What is he?
A security guard?
What would you call him?
A badass security guard.
Yeah.
Oh, thank you, Donnie.
Donnie's bringing me a Pepsi.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Pepsi.
New sponsor.
That's right.
What's everyone getting for lunch that you enjoy with a Pepsi?
I love to have pizza, wings, hot dogs, especially cheese steaks with a Pepsi because Pepsi just
makes every bite better.
The refreshing pop of sweet, fizzy Pepsi bubbles make even the best food taste even better.
By the way, so tomorrow I will be out.
I might do the first 20, 30 minutes.
We're going to the draft.
So if you're in Detroit tomorrow,
there's going to be a Pardon My Cheese Steak truck.
We're doing a meetup tomorrow, 4 p.m. to 6 p.m.
2217 Woodward Ave in Detroit Michigan come have some pardon my cheesesteaks with us come say hello we'll be serving up the new Pepsi infused pardon my
cheesesteak sandwiches the hot seat and the p.m. beef grab a Pepsi zero sugar for you your next
meal today Pepsi Pepsi the best Tommy Walker would pepsi is now sponsoring us it's his favorite
all right pepsi is the best bring him home some how are your birds yeah do they get out again
yeah we had an ordeal yesterday so typically you don't think parakeets can fly very far
oh no i think they can fly very far they're birds i think one of mine are i don't think parakeets can fly very far. Oh, no. I think they can fly very far. They're birds.
I think one of mine are, I don't know if their wings are clipped, but it can only flutter and fly a little bit.
But the blue one can fucking fly.
What did you say?
Daryl.
Huh?
The blue one?
The blue one.
Oh.
The blue one can fucking fly.
And I have vaulted ceilings.
Nice.
18-foot ceilings. Wow. 18-foot ceilings.
Wow.
Damn, dude.
I'm so sorry.
I didn't know you had it like that.
That's great.
You're balling.
18 feet.
In a private lake.
Anywho, the blue one got up on a window ledge halfway up the, and he was just there for
a while.
Was he pooping?
No, he was just chilling, watching everything, and finally he came down, and nobody can catch him.
So is he just out still?
I regret to inform you, I had to use a blanket to catch him.
I had to throw it over him.
Is he good now in his cage?
He seems fine now, yeah.
Are they getting used to you guys?
Yeah, I think so.
Should I get a net?
If he gets out, how am I going to get him?
I don't want to blanket him the whole time.
You got to start taking bread tins, because they learn how to open their cages pretty quickly.
They take the little beaks and they go up and out.
Cute.
Yeah, it's pretty cute.
But you got to use like bread twist ties to keep them.
Get a net.
Yeah.
Like the long.
The big one.
Butterfly.
Butterfly net.
Yeah.
And skip.
And go live on Instagram every time you're trying to get it.
And get an all khaki explorer outfit with the little hat.
Okay.
All right.
18 foot ceiling?
Yeah, wow.
That is.
Yeah, I have tall.
You are.
Sheesh.
Invited Nick to my house the other day and he said, no, I'm hungover.
I was too hungover.
I had to pull over to throw up in a corn maze.
How did you see my ceiling?
I've seen your ceiling.
Very high ceiling.
Very high ceiling.
You are rolling in it.
Might be more.
Might be 24.
Yeah.
How many fireplaces?
What?
Three.
Three fireplaces. What? Three. Three fireplaces.
What?
Crazy.
Do you count the fire pit?
No.
No.
Is it a fireplace?
No.
So do you only have two?
I have three.
Okay, nice.
Just an obscene amount of wealth on display.
You're a three fireplace guy.
Don't act like you're not a three fireplace guy.
I have one, actually. You told me you had three.
I used to have three. I have one now.
I downgraded. I just felt
a little weird. Too many fireplaces.
With everything going on in the world.
Right.
How many you got, Big Cat?
One that I never will use.
It's got to be huge, though.
No, it's not. I never use it.
I don't think I have an 18-, though. No, it's not. I never use it. I've never, yeah.
I don't think I have an 18-foot set.
But you have, oh, you don't.
No.
Oh.
Brandon?
Surely you have one.
I have one that, yeah, it's like 24.
Surely you have a lake in your backyard.
No.
Another win for B-Walk.
You're the richest guy in the world world you said you're having some problems with
your raft though my boat i have a boat his dinghy my boat hey brandon's quit playing with your
dinghy he's playing with his dinghy out there all right well yesterday it did lead to kind of an
embarrassing my my boat's not holding the battery's not holding a charge. You can't go upwind.
Oh, batteries?
Wait, wait, wait.
That's a battery boat?
You can't go upwind.
No, the motor is connected to a battery.
It's an electric motor.
Oh, buddy.
I got out...
Buddy.
I got out...
I got out on the water yesterday.
You basically just have a food processor on the back of your boat.
Yeah, it's a blender.
It's a trolling motor.
It goes up to 4.5 miles an hour. no i got out i got out on the on the water and the battery kept dying
and i got to about i don't know 75 feet out and it was really windy and i was starting to drift so
my 11 year old son who's my best one best one, I had to text him and say,
come outside.
And he had to get – we have a stand-up paddle board.
He had to get on the paddle board and paddle out to me
and give me a paddle so I could come back in.
He had to rescue me from the water.
You got lifeguard rescued by your 11-year-old boy.
I did.
On a paddleboard, yeah.
Sweetie cheeks.
Yeah.
That's real tough.
It's an electric-only lake.
I mean, that's environmentally conscious.
Yeah, I mean, unless you're a bad boy.
There's no fluids and whatnot in the...
When we go out there, can we race it, like swimming?
No, you would lose.
No.
Because it goes up to four and a half miles an hour.
Doesn't sound like it.
You would lose easily.
How fast was Phelps swimming?
Probably in the 20s, but it's fine.
We run in the 20s, right?
What, did he swim in the teens?
Yeah, I'm going to guess Phelps was not swimming 20 miles an hour.
I bet he swam pretty goddamn fast.
I'm going to go ahead and guess it wasn't 20 miles an hour.
I don't think so. Yeah, I think. I said going to go ahead and guess it wasn't 20 miles an hour. I don't think so.
Yeah, I think. I said teens.
He said 20s.
No, then I corrected myself because I realized
the runners are...
Do we have to make fun of
my boat? My boat's a very...
Oh, he gets swim faster.
Still faster than your boat.
At top speed.
Six. That makes swimming still faster than your boat at top speed oh that makes that
that makes swimming so much less cool
yeah
you could just walk
six miles is a long fucking way to swim
six miles an hour
covering six miles in an hour would be very
impressive
in the water
but any of us could outrun it.
We could all run faster than Phelps can swim.
I don't know if I can run six miles.
No, no, no.
Yes, you can.
Put on the bra.
I know I can't run six miles in an hour.
Yeah, you can.
No, Brent, it's just six miles per hour.
What don't you understand?
Peak speed.
It said six miles per hour.
Six miles per hour.
Okay.
What I said was extrapolate that out.
But he's not doing the mile pace.
That's like if you did a full sprint and we took that over an hour,
you would probably be much faster.
It's just there.
Like he goes there and back.
But I took it that way.
Y'all followed along until you decided not to be there anymore.
I never followed along.
No, I never followed along.
You never followed along.
Y'all were with me.
You'd have to run 100 yards yards at a six eight a ten mile an hour or ten minute mile pace you can anyway
the boat is fine it's ready for you guys we're gonna have the cookout in may okay we call it a
cookout oh yeah yeah we're calling it we're doing a fishing competition can you want to oh i like
that idea big cat put up 2500 for the fishing competition done good what else what about what you get 18 foot ceilings yeah big big ceilings big tall
big windows all right i'll put it up but you can't win huh you can't win the fishing company
why can't i because you're like and you fucking have the same fish on a leash. Yeah, I saw him yesterday.
What up, buddy?
Yeah, I'm coming.
I caught two yesterday.
No photos.
Two.
Too small.
Can't take photos of these fish.
Too small.
And we all still have to get on the boat, right?
All at the same time.
We're all getting on the boat.
That boat won't go more than half a mile an hour.
We're all getting on the boat.
All right, so what we'll do is we'll do a fishing competition. We'll do a cash prize.
All of us on the boat.
Everyone gets to hold the rod for 10 minutes.
Oh, can we do a bait wheel?
Oh, bait wheel.
Now, with the boat, if we catch like a-
I'm not saying we should fish out of the boat if we're all in there together.
No, that's-
Wait, why not?
I like that.
I don't know if that's a good idea because we're going to be crammed in there pretty tight.
Yeah.
So I don't know-
That's why it would be great.
No, fishing's a good idea.
I don't know if fishing's a great idea.
Actually, let's all get on the boat.
We'll all have our own rods
and we'll just do a fishing competition.
Everybody's casting at the same time.
Why are y'all getting hurt?
It's because it's a big boat.
You've talked about how big the boat is.
The boat's sinking.
The boat's not going to sink.
We're going to need a bigger boat.
It's crazy that your ceilings are bigger than your boat.
Oh, that's crazy.
Yeah.
That doesn't make any sense.
Your boat could stand up twice in your house.
Maybe three.
That's not that crazy.
No, it's long.
It's just not wide.
I've heard that before.
It's probably 12 feet long.
Can someone online just do how many times Brandon's boat could fit in the Empire State Building?
No.
Probably a 12-foot boat, I would say.
You think?
Yeah, it's long.
Probably 10.
It's just not wide.
It's narrow.
It's a narrow chute.
We're going to go three wide, three wide, three wide, three wide.
That's 12 feet.
12 feet.
12 people.
Three, three, three, and three. And's 12 people. 12 people. 12 people. 3, 3, 3, and 3.
And we all have to have fishing rods.
Yeah.
So there you go.
That's sinking.
What's the biggest fish in that lake?
Does anything put up a fight?
Yeah, is there any legendary fish?
Like a name?
I don't think there's a legendary fish.
My 11-year-old son could always rescue us.
That is right.
You said we could just walk back to shore, right?
It's pretty shallow.
Shallow.
Quite shallow.
Not wearing floaties out there?
Shallow.
Pretty shallow.
It's got some deeps.
Quite shallow.
It's not as tall as my ceiling.
I don't want to do this to you, Brandon.
Don't.
What do you have to do?
My ceilings are taller.
Oh.
You live in a loft apartment.
Fuck.
It's straight up.
I got a 30-foot ceiling.
What?
Yeah, he does.
But you have floor.
It's not a loft.
Damn.
Where's the loft?
I thought your bedroom was the loft.
No. No. Holy fuck, Nick. Because I've your bedroom was the loft. No.
Holy fuck, Nick.
Because I've been there.
It's not nice by any means, but it's tall.
Holy fuck, Nick.
Thank you.
I need curtains.
You know curtains?
Curtains are expensive?
Curtains suck.
Curtains are expensive as fuck.
Rugs and curtains, man.
Rugs and curtains. man. Rugs and curtains.
Rugs are a motherfucker.
It do be like that.
We should open up a rugs and curtains.
Let's buy the Foxtrots and make them rugs and curtains.
Rugs and curtains be expensive.
We sell one of each.
We're set for the year.
Rugs and curtains.
Yep.
Should we look at some movie posters?
Yeah. Let's do it. We also got to watch the Pick Central clip from today. Hugs and curtains Yep Should we look at some movie posters?
Yeah Let's do it
We also gotta watch the
Pick Central clip from today
Oh there was another one
What happened?
Is Clemmer
No no no it's not Clemmer
Meek versus Smitty
Oh
This is what dreams are made of
I saw Clemmer getting mad at Meek yesterday
Oh yeah
Clemmer just starts that show mad every day now
Yeah
I like it
It's my new favorite show
He's gotten real old
Oh yeah He's gotten real old.
Oh, yeah.
He's got a goatee now.
That's Evil Clemmer.
Yeah.
Evil Clemmer.
How many of the movie teams are represented here?
All of them?
I think so.
Me and him.
No, KB's not here. I'm missing KB.
I know.
I miss KB.
Has anyone heard from him since he's on his-
He got sunburnt before he got to Hawaii.
Oh. Yeah. I think he got to Hawaii. Oh.
Yeah.
I think he tried to tan.
Oh, no.
So he wouldn't be fucked by the sun there.
I think he actually...
Tried to tan here.
Yeah.
So he fucked himself.
And he said he arrived with horrific sunburn.
That sucks.
Tanning bed sunburn is rough.
Yeah.
It's a unique kind of...
It's a radioactive sunburn
Yep it's very bad
I might get a spray tan
So don't say anything if I roll up here bronze
Do that for the movie premiere Friday
Yo I'll get tan with you
Will you?
I need some color
I want to see you tan
I've been tanned once before
Really?
How'd you look? How'd you feel?
Uncomfortable.
Okay. Yeah.
Why'd you do it?
It didn't work.
I bought a product that I saw on Instagram
called Bro Glow.
Yeah, Rudy. They're a sponsor.
They are. I bought it myself.
I'm just scared to put it on.
I just don't want to...
I want a little tan, but I don't want to also look... I'll do it. I'm just scared to put it on. I just don't want to. I want like a little tan, but I don't want to also look.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'm just going to go spray.
I'm going to do BroGlo.
I'll do BroGlo Wednesday night to Thursday.
You guys let me know.
Okay.
Is it lotion that has a little bit of tint in it?
That's the safe way to go.
If you're starting, if you're dipping your toe in the tan, that's what to do.
Let's get spray tan for the premiere and still dress like shit.
Oh, yeah.
We're just trying.
Yeah.
They can do for men.
They can make it look like you have muscles and stuff.
I think they did that for 300.
Oh.
You can get cheekbones.
You could do it, too, with the bro glow.
You could contour yourself a little bit.
Not saying you need to.
You literally are saying we need to.
Yeah.
You pointed him out specifically.
On that angle-less face.
Whoa.
Go job, motherfucker.
Yeah.
Sorry, that really got me.
The queen of sneak this.
Okay, let's see this.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Fox out.
The only guy that's been fucking cutting your dick off all series.
Him and Mitchell Robinson and Josh Hart.
That's all they do is crash the boards.
Why are you just looking at the fucking ball?
Why?
Shut up, Meek.
Shut up.
Joe LNB could have gotten more than one rebound.
Joe LNB just played.
He can't fucking move.
He doesn't have legs.
He played 30 yards in effective minutes!
In effective minutes, he scored 35 points!
He lost!
You know Smitty's mad he's not looking at him.
He couldn't fucking walk!
And he's bright red.
I'm just yelling for no reason, Meek.
You're yelling at...
Oh, the guy's been a loser his entire fucking career.
You've been a loser your entire life, Meek!
You like the fucking Knicks and Mets!
Look at you!
Whoa, he's so red. Get some milk for Meek! Get some milk for Meek! Get entire life, Meek. You like the fucking Knicks and Mets. Look at you. Look at you. Whoa, he's so red.
Get some milk for Meek.
Get some milk for Meek.
Get some milk for Meek.
Have him take an Indianapolis 500 victory lap.
Fucking, you root for the Mets and the Knicks.
You're a fucking loser troll.
You're a loser, too.
I have two.
I know I'm a loser.
I know I'm a Philly fan.
Philly fans are fucking.
Oh, my God.
You're so red.
Since basically 1983, besides the Super Bowl and the World Series.
Yes, yes, you're a loser.
We get it.
Okay, so why are you fucking yelling?
Because I want to.
You haven't...
I told you.
I'm not clever.
You can argue with that.
Games one to seven, I'm in your fucking ass.
I'm sure you're going up in game seven when confetti starts falling off your face. your fucking ass. I'm in your fucking ass.
Wow.
I'm in your ass.
Love me.
That was really red.
That was so...
They should do a Quigs edit where it just gets...
I mean, that kind of is what it looked like.
Whoa.
Big yawn from a big boy.
That was your stomach.
Sorry.
You look strong there for a second.
I am strong.
Yeah, you are.
You were at T-ball or baseball for five hours yesterday?
Yeah.
When I go home, work starts.
That's super depressing.
No, no.
I loved it.
I helped my 11-year-old son's team.
Best kid.
I coached my 8-year-old's team.
And I had to catch.
We were teaching them how to pitch, and I had to catch,
and I was down on my knees, and I was – this is a lot.
It was a lot.
But, yeah, we had a good time.
Then we went and got Culver's ice cream.
I can't wait to be in T-ball age.
You've got to be close, right?
He's three.
These days, you're pretty close, like three or four.
There's three-year-olds out there.
It's kind of pointless, right?
There's no way, at least for my boy.
Love him to death.
Not there yet.
We saw him the other night.
He's conversational as hell.
He loves talking.
He walked into the room of us, just strangers, and was like, hey, what are you doing?
Did he hit you up for snacks?
We talked.
We didn't talk about snacks.
I thought you were going to say SIGs for some reason.
Yeah, SIGs.
Oh, he put it up at the fire alarm, like the fire alarm.
Oh, yeah.
Big fire alarm guy.
Yeah, he's checking in.
Oh, showing everyone where the fire alarm is? Yeah.. Big fire alarm guy. Yeah, he's a chatty man. Oh, showing everyone where the fire alarm is?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like that.
Safety first.
Safety first guy.
Yeah, he's a chatty.
He liked Mr. Pear, pardon me.
Mr. Pear.
You know I keep calling him.
He was a huge fan of Mr. Pear.
My kids like Mr. Pear, too.
Mr. Pear.
2-0 last night.
He's back.
Okay.
This guy's back.
All right, let's look at
movie posters. I'm excited for this.
I saw one, and it was awesome.
Brandon, your team's up first.
Brandon, your team's up first.
Well, it's more Nick's team than my team.
Let's wait until the judges decide.
We have the biopic.
We had to have a dance number.
We had to say the Riggs tweet.
And we had to have a dance number. We had to say the Riggs tweet. And we had to have somebody over 70 in our movie.
But this is our poster.
Oh!
Sexy.
Oh, yes.
It's a biopic of Dr. Ernst Grafenberg?
Ernst Grafenberg, yeah.
Wow. That's right
And who didn't make it on the poster?
A lot of people
These were speaking lines that made the poster
I like Big T's formal name
Big Tennessee
That's a cool poster I'm excited for that one
That does make me want to see it
Pretty good
Who's up next?
Owen's team, Caroline, Joey
I don't know who else was on that
Is that KB's team?
KB's team
KB's team
They had the action film
Oh, they had to do a love scene?
No
They had a good draft
A fight scene
Very cohesive
Everything fell together nicely for them
Ooh Oh, that's cute Very cool Everything fell together nicely for him. Ooh.
Oh, that's cute.
That's cute.
Very cool.
All right.
Does that take place in Hong Kong?
Yeah.
Whoa.
No one wrote it.
It's like in Bangkok.
That's a good name.
What's that sign say on the left there?
B-C-F-F.
Barstool.
Barstool.
Oh, Film Festival. Cool festival cool okay that looks good
uh titus yeah we had uh drama slash romance we had a speaking part from an animal we had um
the well you'll see what line we had because I think it's the title of our movie.
I forget what else we had.
A nightmare and dream.
Nightmare, dream scenario.
Yeah, that was one of the things we had to have in our movie.
And we came up with...
Oh, good poster.
Oh, my God.
That looks awesome.
Yeah.
Jerry.
So, yeah, we had to...
Jay.
Jay's glasses.
We had to use Dave's last gun in the bullet, and that just became the title of the movie. That's awesome. Yeah. Jerry. So, yeah, we had to use Dave's last gun in the bullet,
and that just became the title of the last gun in the bullet.
That looks good.
Yep.
Yeah.
Jerry and Che were outrageous.
Yeah.
They were so good.
Last gun in the bullet.
It was a really fun time.
It was.
I agree.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no i i really enjoyed it i i uh it was it was way more fun than i thought it was going to be because i didn't even know we were supposed to do this and
then i came back from vacation you're like oh by the way can't leave today can't leave today
you have to go make a film what the fuck um but it won me over after like a couple hours of just being
with the boys and fucking around. It was a ton of fun.
Our team was good vibes. Yeah, we were very
high vibes. We had a lot of fun.
Did you guys have any females on your team? We didn't.
Oh, we had Mad Dog. We did
not. We didn't let her talk.
Yeah. And it was fun
vibes though? Yeah, huh.
Hmm.
Honestly, like the best coincidence probably yeah okay well we were
much more serious over there we had mckenzie myself and megan making money kind of kept it
very serious there's no fun a lot of women on your team yeah you guys really you guys had no drama
you guys had no drama on your no drama no drama on your team. No drama. No, not at all. Not at all. It wasn't Frank.
Now, was yours a cooking movie?
So we had horror.
Oh, that checks out.
I know where you got all the blood.
Yeah, yeah.
Yes, yeah.
We thought it was whore is why we were all on that.
No, we had horror, breaking the fourth wall wall and um the fasoli glazing tweet oh
which was i will tell you put us in quite the pickle but everybody everybody ended up being
awesome and we had a ton of fun and dante oh holy shit that's up oh oh yeah oh my god wow
charlie charlie yep i saw a poster with Max.
Is that not one of the posters?
Is he in yours?
Max was in KB's, I think.
Oh, so it was a different poster.
It might have had a secondary poster.
Some alts.
Max had that video of I'm not losing money to a woman.
Oh, yeah.
At the poker table.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is going to be great. This is going to be great.
This is going to be great.
Yeah, what's the rest of the rollout?
Tomorrow, trailers?
Tomorrow, 32nd trailer.
Tomorrow.
And Thursday, best scene that you're nominating.
Your best line delivery, I believe.
Anything you're putting up for an award.
And then Friday will be the best.
And the behind the scenes come out which I think will be
funnier than the product. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Are we doing Razzies
like the I believe
there will be worse line delivery
who had White Sox Dave
not us
did we. Yeah.
We needed police in ours
too. OK. Well
like first responders
yeah we had choreographed dance did we say that
okay
and we do it
I honestly cannot wait to see everybody's
like we really had a good time doing ours
it should be a fun Friday
I haven't even have you guys seen your own
movies yet no
clips yeah
because I have a
fear that ours is going to be about 48
minutes long, I think. Ours might be
four. Ours might be too short.
No.
Man.
Brandon, would you do the Verizon ad?
That's my provider.
Me too. Same.
You already know
that Verizon is the network America relies on,
but did you know you can get the network you want for your phone and your home?
Get Verizon for both mobile and home and save,
so you can make sure whatever it is that you're following,
this year's Oscar movies, the hockey playoffs,
the Sharps football draft projections,
it's all good whether you're at home or not at home.
And when you switch, get a great deal on i-15 iphone 15 pro ipad and apple watch se the network
you want on the tech you love simply better together only on verizon visit verizon.com
slash barstool or your local verizon store to shop and learn or learn more. Pepsi, Verizon.
Some good.
Yeah, look at us.
We're doing pretty good.
Tanning?
It's probably us.
Tune into Anus this week, sponsored by Foxtrot.
Hell yeah.
Nice.
I wonder what Kyle's doing right now.
Probably having pineapple.
Yeah.
Without looking.
Is he the kind of guy that would,
they're having a cool luau that you pay tickets for.
Would he do something like that?
Oh, yeah.
Luau's are awesome.
Without looking, what time is it in Hawaii right now?
They are. It is 1.23 here.
6 a.m.
I think it's 4 a.m.
No, it's not that much.
I guess six hours behind us maybe? Yeah, I'm going to say 7. Five hours. 7.23. 8.23? 6 a.m. I think it's 4 a.m. No, it's not that much. I guess six hours behind us maybe?
Yeah, I'm going to say seven.
Five hours.
7.23.
8.23?
6 a.m.
Oh, he's probably lifting.
Five hours behind where we're at right now.
So 8.23.
Yeah.
In the morning.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Have you been to Hawaii?
Yeah, I'm a Hawaii guy.
That's what people call me.
Hawaii guy.
Maui Mark.
Maui Mark. Oh, that's cool. Can Hawaii guy. Maui Mark. Maui Mark.
Oh, that's cool.
Can't go anywhere without people calling me Maui Mark.
And you're Brandon from Quick Picks.
Uh-huh.
You're Prison Visitor Brandon.
Hey, you're Brandon from Quick Picks.
I love you, man.
When are you going to do other stuff?
Did I almost fall just now?
Yep.
You don't want to become a fall guy.
I'm already a spill guy.
Spill guy is okay.
Fall guy is...
I've spilled on myself every day for the past 10 days, I think.
I got a huge chunk of...
I've just been eating all my meals over the sink.
I just pee spill a lot.
That's what happens when you become a spill guy.
You just eat dinner over the sink.
Pee spill?
I just pee.
We've already figured out that you're the one who dribbles on the floor.
No, I don't dribble on the floor.
I get too close to dribble on the floor.
Every piece of evidence that you reveal says that you dribble on the floor.
First of all, there's so much piss on the floor. of all so much you're like you dribble every time you
gotta work on your first of all the amount of piss that's on that floor sometimes is never coming
sometimes i do just piss on the floor it's never coming from one man there's acres of piss in there
it has to be a cumulative effort and i never contribute to it you don't think you have a
single drop of piss on that floor nope Nope. Let's get a forensic.
Walker DNA in that piss. Lie.
Also, so much
pubes in the urinal.
Do you lose a lot
every time you piss? Why are you pointing at me the whole time?
That was a general you to the fellas.
You looked dead at me when you said
do you lose a lot of poop?
What?
You lose a lot of poops.
Your pubes a lot of poop? What? You lose a lot of poops. Your poop is a lot of lose.
Poopic hair.
We've talked about the guy who posts him taking pisses from all different angles.
Oh, yeah.
That guy rocks.
I feel bad for the people that clean it.
Yeah, that one's bad.
But we did like scenic peas.
Scenic piss.
Scenic piss.
Kyle should do one.
I like those.
He does need to do a scenic piss how should do one i like those he does need to do a scenic yeah
still one of the the probably the hardest i've ever laughed in my entire life was i went to the
rose bowl whatever year was i think it was against oregon and it was me and all my friends and we
went we were sad afterwards we went to a bar sat in a booth and i don't know why my friend did this
it was like four four on each side booth up against the wall all of a sudden one of
my friends just like jumps back he's like what the fuck my other friend was just pissing on him
underneath the booth it was one of the funniest things he was pissing in his lap that place he
couldn't do anything he couldn't get out place we're stuck i was crying laughing he's gonna eat
the piss yeah it's a classic this guy's being, just pissing another man's lap. Yeah.
He never really explained it, too.
He just started pissing on him.
Piss is funny.
Yeah.
Are you not the wild one in your group?
There's other wild ones, yeah.
Are you group leader?
No.
No.
I'm not the player. But this is the problem with hazing stories that come out in college sports
is, like, there's an amount of hazing that's like, we're just having fun.
Yeah, right.
That one was.
You hear stories of college teams that are fucking around, and there's obviously a line.
Right.
At some point you cross it.
But I bet everyone was laughing.
Yeah, but also, yeah.
You put a bunch of dudes together, they start pissing on each you know in the news you're like there's a story of a guy
right like when you read it in text that sounds a little none of my friends would have reported
that right because even the guy who got pissed on like after about 10 minutes found the humor
in all of it he literally had another man's piss in his on his pants well it's a good
prank because it's a slow burn because you don't you don't feel it when it hits you at first it's
well and i saw the street he jumped up so he kind of like he got pissed on and then he stood up so
he wasn't getting pissed on anymore but i saw the stream coming out from the other side of the booth
which was very funny are you pissing my pants yeah right that's exactly what it was
yeah i just i we also were very drunk
after oh yeah yeah that should be put out there it wasn't a sober sober that sober piss over saying
very fucked up pissing on another man's lap put it on the wheel
piss my pants you piss my pants do guys i'm have to, have you ever seen how far you can pee?
Oh, of course.
Yeah, I would do that all the time if I was a guy.
Yeah.
In the woods, just like getting an angle.
Do you have a PR?
You have to pee and start backing up.
Yeah.
Limbo.
Damn.
You know what was a cheap thrill that I thought about the other day
is when you were in elementary school and you would swing on the swing set.
Oh, yeah.
And then jumping out at the highest and seeing how far you could get.
Yeah.
We all remember the furthest we ever got.
That was fun.
I thought you were going to talk about going really high on the swing set
and you feel it on your balls.
Oh, I love that feeling.
Floating balls.
Oh, my God.
You go over a bump in a road or a street. Yeah, when you get really high and you get that tickle at the bottom of your
balls that might have been the first time i was like i have a peanut yeah that's an all-time i
haven't thought about that feeling in a while there's a swing set here on a roller coaster too
we should get a swing i don't want to bring that up. We should stop swinging as adults, but that would be so fucking fun.
We could put a swing over.
We could.
Gigantic swing.
Is a swing the best named thing?
Swing.
Swing.
Wow.
It's not the swing.
What was that?
I don't think anyone says that.
Swing.
That's because it's the sound it makes.
It's deeply uncool.
Is a swing the best named thing?
I'd argue piss is better
I think slide
Slide is great
Slide is what it is
Seesaw
Seesaw is pretty good
That's terribly named isn't it?
Fuck
I was trying
That teaches you tense
Damn it.
Zip line?
Nah.
No.
Monkey bar?
No.
No, that's probably not even legal anymore.
Yeah.
Why?
That's jungle gym.
Okay.
Why would monkey bar not be legal?
I don't know.
Expound on that.
Everything's bad.
Swings. It's probably swings Bad Swings It's probably
Swings is an animal
You're not just gonna
Let me get out of this
No
You're just not gonna
Let me wiggle away
I'll let you out of it
Edward Scissorhands is lucky
That was his last name
Why?
You kidding me?
Yeah I guess
Yeah
If he just had normal hands
i'll be confusing as fuck piece of shit a swing or a slide thank god my last name isn't big dick
my whole life just connor big dick, it's just my name.
Did you guys see that it's going viral,
but the lady is going around asking people what they do for work,
and the guy is like a tall guy.
He's like, I do OnlyFans, and I make about 80 grand a month.
He's like the top male earner.
Yes?
No, I didn't see the man's hard dick, Kate.
Some Googling's been done. Yeah? are you trying to introduce a hard cock you're bringing a big dick i'm just saying you're saying you've discovered
a man with a big penis and you're asking us if we've seen it i'm because it's so big that it
wouldn't be weird that you guys also have seen it because Because we can't avoid it? His name is Girthmaster.
Is this penis in the room right now?
It's right behind me.
His person looks like he's got an Australian accent,
but his name is Girthmaster.
When I tell you four Dinty Moore
stew cans
family size,
I've never seen such a thing.
Did you guys see the porn star Angela White?
Who's going to look out?
She has sex with some of her fans.
No.
Yeah, pretty awesome, right?
This guy's had sex with her.
Oh, he has.
Oh.
He's come to the States to do things.
I've done.
Who's looking at his dick?
I'm telling you.
All right, send it to us.
Yes.
It would be something that you would also have seen.
Kate has made this a hard dick show.
Sorry.
No, it's okay.
This is the first time.
Pretty perverse, honestly.
Let's find this.
You guys get to send boobs every day.
Yeah, but that's different.
My guy's late.
Fling a couple of cocks.
That's way different.
Boobs are hot.
Boobs are hot.
I have a guy that sent me a cock once.
Yeah.
Wasn't.
What?
Yeah.
But I admire other women.
I think women are beautiful and there's some beautiful boobs and stuff like that you've never seen
a cock that's that you've been like all right
that's handsome nope no you're lying
no it's been like
holy shit that's big I've never said that's
a handsome
I think shit yeah
here we go oh no
all right I haven't gotten to
me yet oh
Jesus yeah I know it's just a normal looking penis All right. I haven't gotten to me yet. Oh, Jesus.
Yeah.
It's just a normal looking penis.
All right.
Send the big one.
I don't get it.
It's not loading.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
That's.
Uh-huh.
Is that.
How big is that wine bottle?
It's a big size.
Wine bottle?
What is it?
I don't know.
I can't see it, but it's next to a wine bottle?
I think.
Yeah, that's a wine bottle.
If you're interested.
No free ads, but we're sponsored by Girthmaster.
Watch me solo, Girthmaster.
I don't
have...
Oh, I didn't get your text this morning.
What, he sent you a cock?
I don't have... No. It's shocking.
It's very smooth.
Okay.
I'm not going to see it. That's fine.
I left the chat.
You didn't...
Anyway.
My last thing from the Yak is 6 a. I left the chat. You didn't... Anyway. My last thing
from the Yak is 6am
this morning. It's Kate's stupid
emoji that she sent.
Does Girthmaster have you blocked?
See it?
You see it?
You see it? Alright.
Okay. That doesn't even look...
Alright.
It's like an eraser.
Nick left.
Sorry.
You ever wonder what the guys in the group chat who are not on the show,
when these things just kind of pop up?
That's what I was just laughing about.
Like Colby Nolan's just trying to go through his day in Connecticut right now.
Yeah.
And he's still in there.
He'll be in there forever.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Anyway.
It's a good penis.
It was a good penis.
It was.
It was a good penis.
I don't know if I would call that penis handsome.
That's a good looking penis.
I would.
It's like calling Andre the Giant handsome.
Yeah.
To each their own.
Nick, I added you back.
It's really too big.
I'm kidding.
If anyone doesn't have Twitter, I also added the picture.
Do you think he gets lightheaded?
I sent the picture to everyone just in case they don't have to know.
But blood goes there, so that's a lot of blood.
Colby's got to be.
I just sent the picture on its own. Thank you wait send it send it directly to colby
hey man not sure if you saw this are you not getting text brandon
it's enormous that's enormous you got it now people have to text on top of that so that we don't. Right.
Right.
I got it.
That could lift a car off someone.
Yeah.
I should use that as a coffee meme.
After coffee.
It's just the wine says coffee and then it says my game.
I'd like to see that thing next to Che's napkin.
Yeah. That napkin is looking like a postage stamp.
By the way, Che, so it only can be sporting events?
Yeah, because restaurants is kind of a cheap one.
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know, man.
We said that's what it was on the show.
It has to be a concert, anything in a stadium or arena.
Yeah.
It's the biggest arena napkin.
So when any guest asks what that is.
Hank, come here.
Well, that's the biggest arena napkin you can find. You asks, Hank, come here. Well, that's the biggest
arena napkin you can find.
Yeah.
Let me show you
something real quick.
I knew it was going to be a dick.
That's big, right?
That's a small bottle.
That is a small bottle
Oh it is
Okay so Hank just cleared that up
This guy named Girthmaster
Yeah
Hank had a big dick reaction to that
Yeah he did
Yeah
Hank was like
Yeah alright
Is that mine
Oh shit I got hacked
Oh fuck Hank was like, is that mine? Oh, shit. I got hacked.
Oh, fuck.
KB's going to wake up on vacation with that picture.
I'm going to unsend it.
I feel, wait, can you unsend?
Yeah, I got it, Bren.
If that is your size, though, you can't be like an accountant or something.
You have to.
That job picks you.
Right.
Yeah.
That's like a calling.
Right. It's either that or fucking podcaster
Oh did you see
The internet's going after my guy Hub
The normal living guy
The what
I did see that
I'm mad about that
The normal living guy
Yeah
That is weird
Oh yeah yeah yeah
They were like this is soul crushing
This is horrifying
No it's not
It's so
It's so insane
Oh the guy that was like
This is a day in the life
And it was
That was so great
Yeah
Yeah But just to be like This is the most, this is a day in the life. And it was great.
Yeah.
But just to be like, this is the most horrendous,
one of the most disturbing videos I've ever watched.
These are also the same people who will be like,
it's like the economy's trash, can't buy houses anymore.
Yeah, you can.
You can do that.
This guy lives a pretty good life.
Yes.
People were very upset with how he sensually put his laptop in his laptop bag. He does that every time.
That's his signature move.
You've got to have a move.
He said he actually reached out after we mentioned him last week.
He's going to be in Chicago in September, so he'll do.
I hope he actually does the gauntlet this slow.
I want it to be the exact average gauntlet.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't see what the big deal is here.
He's got a nice car
Nice house
Shops are good
I think maybe
Do people just assume
That they live
Super exciting lives
Yeah
They watch this video
And it feels like
You're having a mirror held up to you
And you're like
Wait am I not actually
Yeah probably
It's also
I just
These people are also
Super online
Yeah
This is a good life
It's a great life
It's a great life
This guy is killing it
I would be pretty happy If I could get my shit together like that
Great job
Got his shit together
I'm for him
I'm jealous
Normalize normal
Just living his life
Having a good time
Davis Clark failed his CFA part 2
Oh no
He's got to lock back in Having a good time. Davis Clark failed his CFA part two. Oh, no. It was a rough day.
Yeah.
He's got to lock back in.
Again?
After shitting himself?
Yep.
String of bells.
He'll bounce back.
Will he, though?
I believe.
That would be funny if he's just doing this for the next 15 years, keeps failing.
Keeps failing. Turns out i'm kind of dumb is there a limit on how many like eventually are they like no more you're no i
think you can just keep going with yeah disrupted it's it's yeah
i'll remember that forever yeah me too we still we still need to see uh chase penis yeah we do
mm-hmm jay thoughts on that Yeah, how's your stack up, Che?
It looked like
the hand was somewhat proportionate.
So, is that a small wine bottle?
I don't know. So, I mean, it looked like a big dick.
Okay.
Good review.
This big dick looks like a big dick.
Did not even kind of answer the question.
Good metaphor. Stephen Che's dick reviews.
What was the question?
How does your dick stack up to that one?
Oh, I mean, it's impossible to say.
I haven't seen that.
Oh, come on.
Fuck you.
It's impossible to say.
It's the birth master.
I have to wrap my own hand around that dick to get a...
It's impossible to say.
I'm going to need at least a few strokes.
Mine stacks up really small compared to that one.
It is possible to say. It's impossible to say. Mine stacks up really small compared to that one. It is possible to say.
It's impossible to say.
My dick to the girthmaster
is Brandon's boat to the Empire State Building.
Yep.
That's what it is.
I don't even have a penis after seeing that.
It's impossible to say.
It's impossible.
It is impossible to say. He doesn't know. We can't say if it's bigger. I mean. It is impossible to say.
He doesn't know.
Yeah, we can't say if it's bigger.
No way of knowing.
That's insane.
Inconclusive.
Literal.
The guy's name is Girthmaster.
Steven's like, I might have him.
Guy's seven feet tall.
Give you a very scientific breakdown on the stars versus non-superstars versus all that.
That's possible to say.
You can say that for sure.
You can say that for sure.
That is definitive.
Who is a superstar?
Who is not?
He might have just a bigger dick.
I'll be so pissed off.
At this point, I wouldn't be shocked.
It would make perfect sense.
Yeah, it really would.
His entire aura, his confidence, the way he carries himself.
Steven's just packing.
But I think there's also a chance that it's the smallest thing ever.
Yeah, which would be so funny.
That would be really funny.
He's just like, is it?
Aren't you guys impressed?
Look at this thing.
It's like a fucking thumbtack.
He's like, check it out, boys.
Not too shabby huh
oh i'm rooting for that so bad it's gonna be huge yeah it's enormous it's gonna fucking make
us all look like idiots uh do you someone do the high noon ads
brandon may i have your sheets yep
never mind
thank you though
high noon bring the fiesta anywhere you go with all new
high noon tequila seltzer fiesta pack
this variety 8 pack features
2 new tequila seltzer flavors
blood orange and prickly pear
alongside 2 tequila favorites
grapefruit and lime
all are made with real tequila and real juice
perfect for any fiestas
find the high noon tequila selt juice. Perfect for any fiestas.
Find the High Noon Tequila Seltzer Fiesta Pack nearest you at highnoonspirits.com.
High Noon.
Sun's up.
Very cool.
Very good.
Oh.
That would be so cool if you were waiting in line and the guy in front of you just started yo-yoing.
Mm-hmm.
That would be super cool.
Oh, my God, the speed!
It's gonna hurt your hand.
Oh, fuck.
I used to Beyblade in the supermarket.
Say this again?
Beyblade?
Yeah, I remember.
I know Beyblade.
I was just praying another dude would roll up and battle me.
Oh, would it ever happen?
The nerd game.
Like a computer game?
No, it was these spinning tops. Think of aggressive dreidels.
Why? Yeah, they're like battle
bots that are dreidels. They're tops.
It's like a Pokemon Go
pre-credits. No, it's metal tops.
Oh, it's not a
let it rip. It's not a video game?
But it started as a
show. Is that like Crossfire?
You just walk around. I think you're thinking that like Crossfire? You just walk around.
I thought you were thinking of Crossfire.
That game squirted.
So you just walk around with your thing.
Yeah.
You wait to see someone else that has one.
I'd just be ripping it wherever I went with my mom.
Yeah.
I don't know what it's called.
So what does it do?
A Beyblade.
A Beyblade?
You kind of crank it and it spins.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, they have those.
Oh, fuck.
What are they called?
Like on Big Hero 6. Now, fuck. Yeah, they have those. Oh, fuck. What are they called? Like on Big Hero 6.
Now, fuck.
Goku.
Dragon Ball Z?
No.
Those are Beyblades.
How do you win?
Yeah, there's...
Oh, the last top remaining.
No, there's a new...
There's a new name to them.
I use the Bump King Pumpkin.
Fuck, what is the new name to them?
Oh, my God.
Look how big that little stadium is.
Is that what they're called?
Beyblade?
That's all they're called?
Damn.
I need something cooler.
Damn it.
TJ, I just sent you these guys.
Did you guys?
Oh, these are...
Whoa.
Oh, this is...
This is legit.
Iskandar versus TNS Jamal.
Oh, he's wearing gloves.
Yeah, and you build your tops with the pieces.
Some tips are better stability.
Some spin longer.
I was big into this.
What?
Two bays.
I have never seen this in my life.
They did a video game for Game Boy Advance,
but it only had one song, like, soundtrack.
So it was just like a 16-second repeating sound
over and over and over again for the entire game.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
That was terrible.
Let it rip.
Do they still say let it rip?
I think you have to.
It is grand finals. Make some noise. I don't think anyone... Let it rip. Do they still say let it rip? I think you have to.
It is grand finals.
Make some noise.
I don't think anyone else.
Come on.
Come on, guys.
Oh, Jamal.
I've seen enough.
I've seen enough.
What the fuck?
That's enough.
That was so perfect.
TJ, did you know that was going to happen?
Oh, my God. The nerds need a dub
Oh no
TJ I just sent you
Did you see these two dudes doing
Finger
Oh these guys rock
And the judge was like too nice
Cause one guy landed a little sketchy
Switch back side flip
Oh SKT this is so awesome there's a whole
gnarly impossible yeah it sounds like there are a bunch of tables going on
right yeah huge collection of USA Fingerboarding League.
It sounds like they're just trying to convince the judge they did it better than they did it.
Yeah, and they did.
Oh, no.
Gets another try here.
Oh.
Oh, pretty good.
Clean.
Insane.
I love this.
Oh!
Oh, that would have been sick.
They're taking it so seriously.
Oh!
Yeah, dude.
Shit! Oh!
This is like a massive micro hobby.
These guys spend like hundreds of dollars per board.
What?
Yeah.
Sort of feels like the judge doesn't know what's going on.
Yeah.
He just got there.
What are we doing here?
He was walking through the parking lot.
Impossible back revert.
I mean, there's so many tattoos in this video, too.
Judge is also not writing anything down.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
He's just kind of nodding along.
He's like, cool, cool, cool.
You're playing skate.
It's like horse, but you spell skate.
But he just doesn't have the assertiveness.
Oh, no.
Come to expect from a judge.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Bang.
Has he awarded anything to anybody?
That's skate. Oh
Good game
Good game
All right, should we spin the wheel let's do it spin the old wheel
First softball game tonight. What time is that 730 7.30. I really want to play in the game.
Moose leading off and playing shortstop.
Yes, sir.
Wow.
Smart plug.
Wow.
Damn.
Is the whole team Barstool
or you're mixed in with some other?
We have, I think,
two guys that aren't.
Okay.
Yeah.
You have enough numbers tonight?
Yeah, we got 12.
Shit.
I want to play.
I'll wait.
Roll up?
I'll wait.
Being a DH in softball Is really demoralizing
That's nice
And spots always open up
On a softball team
Yeah
There's like
If you're just like
Okay so I'm going to go
To the field
Put on my cleats
Yeah
And three times
I'm going to
Watch you guys
Yeah
I'm going to watch you guys field
Yeah
Who are you playing?
No clue.
They're good.
Yeah, that sounds like a tough one.
Is it all men's?
All men's.
Oh, there's going to be a fight that breaks out for sure.
Do you all have a fighter?
Max will fight.
Max.
Who's your weakest link?
Who's your guy?
Because you need to have one guy that's like the best guy.
Do you have the lineup?
Who's batting last?
All right, I'll send you.
Oh, here we go.
Here we go, the Pugs.
All right, so.
Luke, Brian.
Brian and Andrew are non-barstool.
All right, so they better be really good because they're batting second.
Ebo at fifth is aggressive.
Hank, Shane, Tom, TJ, Malasek.
You guys are going to get fucking killed.
Malasek's going to suck it.
Yeah, you guys are going to get killed.
TJ, I think you're getting screwed by night.
Oh, side note.
That's fine.
Getting dinner ready last night.
Who walks by my window with his dog?
Malasek?
Malasek.
What?
Very exciting.
Very exciting for me.
I didn't say anything.
Oh, what?
I know.
I was going to knock on the...
I think that was just exciting for me.
I'm sorry.
No, you weren't aware of your neighbors?
No, I had no idea.
But he looked very cool.
He's also been walking that thing everywhere.
Oh, really?
He knows what season it is.
Oh, good point.
I didn't realize he lived in such a poor neighborhood.
Yeah, I had to text you a lot to ignore these things.
No.
Am I?
Poor.
But their ceilings are only 15 feet high.
My place is falling apart.
Yeah, you been poisoned lately?
Roof's leaking.
Toilet won't flush.
What you getting out?
Yeah, moving in May.
Okay.
Oof.
I saw all my friends this weekend
They were like yeah we're going to come visit this summer
And I'm like please don't
Can't really stay with me
Yeah they can
Sleepovers are fun
Sleepovers with the boys
It gets real stuffy with more than two
But we'll figure it out
Yeah you'll be fine
Put someone in the oven
Your location is the best
The location is great You pay for the location That's all you need Yeah, you'll be fine. Put someone in the oven. Your location's the best.
The location is great, yeah.
You pay for the location.
That's all you need.
All right, spin that wheel, TJ.
Here's your alternate poster.
Oh, that's the one I saw.
That looks sick.
Miss Q.
Okay.
Nothing crazy. I like Miss Q. Yeah. Turkish warm melting. Nothing crazy Like miscue
Yeah
Turkish
Nothing crazy
Keeping it dry
I said tomorrow
I will either be out
Or here for just a little bit
And then
Thursday we have
Roan and Will Compton
Friday we have Roan
Are you not going
You're not going to be at the draft?
No we're just going
We're going in and out.
We got to do a pop-up for part of my cheesesteak.
I'll be here for Thursday.
Okay.
For the draft show.
Yeah.
I wouldn't miss that for the world.
Good.
Give me a little teaser.
Who's going number one in the draft?
I think Caleb Williams.
Yeah, that's good.
That's good shit.
Quarterback from USC.
I'll just say this.
I'm getting way too cocky.
No, you need to.
He's that guy.
It's not even that.
It's just like I have a set time from Thursday until the start of the NFL
where I could just be like, he's the best quarterback ever.
I don't have to back it up.
I'm making threats to people.
Someone was like, you can't talk to your Bears fan.
I was like, you've got two more days, buddy.
You'll never get this chance again.
You'll never get a number one pick.
We're going to be picking 32 again.
You're right.
You'll never get the number one pick ever again.
Ever.
Pop your shoes.
This is it.
There's no way.
Unless you got it next year because y'all sucked again.
Yeah.
How could it possibly go wrong?
I had a thought.
This is bad because my mind is just wandering into beautiful places.
I've already decided that after Caleb Williams wins his first Super Bowl,
on the Tuesday after the Super Bowl, I'm going to make it bookmark Tuesday
where I just quote tweet everyone who shit on him.
It's going to take a while.
This is bad, guys.
You already have that? This is bad guys this is you already have that this is bad bookmark
tuesday's already been planned this is bad this is really bad yeah this is really really bad
what could go wrong nothing nothing everything usc was a powerhouse nothing yeah yeah bookmark
tuesday's gonna rock though. USA almost made a bowl
last year, dude. Brandon, if you were
the Bears and the Packers called and said,
we'll trade you Jordan Love for the number one pick,
do you make that trade?
No.
I probably wouldn't either. No.
Because Jordan Love's close to his money.
Yeah, that's right.
Bookmark Tuesday's gonna rock. either no because jordan loves close to his money yeah that's right that's right you want the yeah
bookmark tuesday's gonna rock i feel like we could probably get a better name okay help me well we got years i mean or at least a year uh we have like six months
the first bookmark tuesday's already the calendar. That still seems like plenty.
Yeah.
Let's see.
Let's see.
So it's mid-February.
It's like February 14th, 13th.
The first bookmark Tuesday is going to be February 11th, 2025.
All right.
It's already in the calendar.
Can't really move it.
Where is Ralphie Boy, by the way?
Oh, we'll do it tomorrow.
Yeah, right here.
Oh, I'm happy.
I'll be out for that.
We'll have Ralph host.
Yeah.
Put him in my chair.
Yeah.
That'd actually be nice.
Damn it.
Yeah.
Ralphie Boy will host tomorrow, Jeff.
Ash Wednesday tomorrow.
All right.
We'll see everyone tomorrow.
Please like and subscribe. Subscribe. It's the act. It's the act.
Yeah, it's time to talk shop and do a Yankee swap.
It's the act.
It's the act. Hey, see you tomorrow.
Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
Wish me luck in softball tonight.
If I hit a home run, I'll hit a home run.